WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:12.340 And welcome to Prosper TV, to be inspired, equipped, empowered to prosper in all things. 2 00:00:12.340 --> 00:00:14.600 I'm your host, Brenda Byars. 3 00:00:14.600 --> 00:00:21.840 If you're ready to prosper physically, financially, relationally, spiritually, come and join this 4 00:00:21.840 --> 00:00:24.020 amazing community. 5 00:00:24.020 --> 00:00:46.840 Let's prosper together. 6 00:00:46.840 --> 00:00:47.840 And welcome. 7 00:00:47.840 --> 00:00:50.100 I am so glad you are here. 8 00:00:50.100 --> 00:00:58.260 You know, if you have struggled in a relationship, or maybe you just have a desire to bring back 9 00:00:58.260 --> 00:01:05.620 love, to restore communication, to bring the relationship to what you first knew that it 10 00:01:05.620 --> 00:01:10.180 could be, you are in for a treat. 11 00:01:10.180 --> 00:01:17.940 Today, you are going to be meeting Yvonne Providence, a relationship coach. 12 00:01:17.940 --> 00:01:21.860 And I just want to welcome you, Yvonne, to the show. 13 00:01:21.860 --> 00:01:23.660 I love what you're doing. 14 00:01:23.660 --> 00:01:26.180 What an important thing. 15 00:01:26.180 --> 00:01:30.980 You know, without our relationships, I mean, what do we have? 16 00:01:30.980 --> 00:01:32.100 So tell me a little bit. 17 00:01:32.100 --> 00:01:35.860 Tell me a little bit about what you do and why you do it. 18 00:01:35.860 --> 00:01:37.420 Well, thank you, Brenda. 19 00:01:37.420 --> 00:01:40.180 Okay, well, I am a relationship coach. 20 00:01:40.180 --> 00:01:46.760 And one thing that I like to do is to empower not just women, but people that are struggling 21 00:01:46.760 --> 00:01:49.000 and feel like they're stuck in a rut. 22 00:01:49.000 --> 00:01:55.320 And I like to not just empower them, but give them, I'll say like a hope in a future, put 23 00:01:55.320 --> 00:01:56.680 them back on track. 24 00:01:56.680 --> 00:01:59.240 Boy, we need hope. 25 00:01:59.240 --> 00:02:00.800 We need future. 26 00:02:00.800 --> 00:02:06.520 I know when I was visiting with you in advance, you talked about giving them like a new window 27 00:02:06.520 --> 00:02:08.280 to look out of. 28 00:02:08.280 --> 00:02:09.520 Tell me a little bit about that. 29 00:02:09.520 --> 00:02:10.520 Yes. 30 00:02:10.520 --> 00:02:11.520 Okay. 31 00:02:11.520 --> 00:02:16.400 So usually people, they're just in a situation where it's just, you know, that old saying, 32 00:02:16.400 --> 00:02:21.440 the hamster that gets the squeaky wheel, they're just constantly on the same grind 33 00:02:21.440 --> 00:02:23.800 trying to figure things out. 34 00:02:23.800 --> 00:02:32.000 Well, I just like to step into their world and just invite them to look into a different 35 00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:33.000 window. 36 00:02:33.000 --> 00:02:34.360 Just let's step out of your world. 37 00:02:34.360 --> 00:02:40.640 Let's look through a different window and let's just see what is possible down the road. 38 00:02:40.640 --> 00:02:41.640 See things differently. 39 00:02:41.640 --> 00:02:42.640 Exactly. 40 00:02:42.640 --> 00:02:43.640 Yes. 41 00:02:43.640 --> 00:02:49.640 And they don't really break that stalemate of just repeating pattern after pattern. 42 00:02:49.640 --> 00:02:50.640 They get a different perspective. 43 00:02:50.640 --> 00:02:53.240 They get to see things a little bit differently. 44 00:02:53.240 --> 00:02:54.240 Yes. 45 00:02:54.240 --> 00:02:55.240 Yes. 46 00:02:55.240 --> 00:02:56.240 A lot of success with that. 47 00:02:56.240 --> 00:03:05.640 Usually out of our first session, they're leaving with just excitement and really honing 48 00:03:05.640 --> 00:03:10.840 in on purpose and knowing that they've gotten some insight to where they can start doing 49 00:03:10.840 --> 00:03:13.840 some things to see some immediate change. 50 00:03:13.840 --> 00:03:15.160 I love that. 51 00:03:15.160 --> 00:03:19.840 And I know you've, you've shared with me that often, even in the very first session, they're 52 00:03:19.840 --> 00:03:22.200 experiencing change. 53 00:03:22.200 --> 00:03:24.840 Tell me what got you into this field? 54 00:03:24.840 --> 00:03:26.720 What got you fascinated with this? 55 00:03:26.720 --> 00:03:30.240 Yeah, that's a, that's a big topic, relationships, right? 56 00:03:30.240 --> 00:03:31.240 Exactly. 57 00:03:31.240 --> 00:03:32.240 Yes. 58 00:03:32.240 --> 00:03:36.360 Now my, my passion and my, my hone in place is out of my marriage. 59 00:03:36.360 --> 00:03:38.600 I've been married for 40 years. 60 00:03:38.600 --> 00:03:39.600 Wow. 61 00:03:39.600 --> 00:03:40.600 Yeah, I know. 62 00:03:41.360 --> 00:03:44.480 And yes, and a lot of that comes from out of that experience. 63 00:03:44.480 --> 00:03:45.480 Married young. 64 00:03:45.480 --> 00:03:52.320 Also, I am a ordained minister for 20 years and I have education and background, but I 65 00:03:52.320 --> 00:04:02.440 just wanted to have a space where people can actually come and there, we're not just looking 66 00:04:02.440 --> 00:04:05.000 at the fruit of the issue. 67 00:04:05.000 --> 00:04:06.600 We're looking at the root of the issue. 68 00:04:06.600 --> 00:04:07.600 Oh, I like that. 69 00:04:07.600 --> 00:04:08.600 Yeah. 70 00:04:08.600 --> 00:04:10.240 So not just looking at the fruit. 71 00:04:10.880 --> 00:04:16.200 So the symptoms, the, the arguing, the lack of communication, those are symptoms. 72 00:04:16.200 --> 00:04:22.200 You help them dig way down to the core and the root. 73 00:04:22.200 --> 00:04:23.640 So you got married very young. 74 00:04:23.640 --> 00:04:24.640 I did. 75 00:04:24.640 --> 00:04:25.640 Yes, I did. 76 00:04:25.640 --> 00:04:27.080 Was it always roses and unicorns? 77 00:04:27.080 --> 00:04:31.960 Oh gosh, I wouldn't be a relationship coach. 78 00:04:31.960 --> 00:04:36.920 What I would say about, about that is you're young and you really are learning yourself 79 00:04:37.000 --> 00:04:42.200 when you marry young and then you unite with your forever partner. 80 00:04:42.200 --> 00:04:47.200 And you, we went through some things, we're young in ministry. 81 00:04:47.200 --> 00:04:53.400 We had a bout of infidelity and that was a turning point for me because I actually led 82 00:04:53.400 --> 00:04:55.560 the married women's group. 83 00:04:55.560 --> 00:04:56.560 And there was a- 84 00:04:56.560 --> 00:04:57.880 This happened while you're leading a married group? 85 00:04:57.880 --> 00:04:58.880 Yeah. 86 00:04:58.880 --> 00:04:59.880 Married, yeah. 87 00:04:59.880 --> 00:04:59.880 88 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:03.540 Oh, that was, it was a very trying time. 89 00:05:03.540 --> 00:05:08.540 I, when all things came to a head, I was shocked. 90 00:05:09.580 --> 00:05:13.060 You go through a place of shame, depression, 91 00:05:14.180 --> 00:05:17.100 hopelessness, mistrust. 92 00:05:17.100 --> 00:05:19.380 There's a lot of feelings, rage. 93 00:05:19.380 --> 00:05:21.380 I mean, there's a lot of things that go on 94 00:05:21.380 --> 00:05:24.740 and really what saved me and allowed me 95 00:05:24.740 --> 00:05:29.180 not to go into a pit and stay in a pit was the Lord. 96 00:05:29.240 --> 00:05:31.040 You know, this is really, I think, 97 00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:33.640 hope for the person listening. 98 00:05:33.640 --> 00:05:35.760 You know, many of us have faced that. 99 00:05:35.760 --> 00:05:38.400 And I think a lot of times out there, 100 00:05:38.400 --> 00:05:40.920 it's just common belief that you can't recover from that. 101 00:05:40.920 --> 00:05:45.420 And here you recovered and it's not that you didn't go 102 00:05:45.420 --> 00:05:48.760 through a lot of pain, but you not only recovered, 103 00:05:48.760 --> 00:05:51.720 here you are 40 years later. 104 00:05:51.720 --> 00:05:52.560 Yeah. 105 00:05:52.560 --> 00:05:53.600 Amazing. 106 00:05:53.600 --> 00:05:57.440 What was the biggest lessons you learned in your marriage? 107 00:05:57.460 --> 00:06:00.380 Well, one thing that I learned, first of all, 108 00:06:00.380 --> 00:06:03.340 is you want to work on yourself. 109 00:06:03.340 --> 00:06:07.460 You have to allow yourself to face, 110 00:06:07.460 --> 00:06:10.760 if you want to call it the demons or whatever in your life, 111 00:06:10.760 --> 00:06:13.380 to be able to, in my case, 112 00:06:14.260 --> 00:06:16.820 I had to look at my husband at one point 113 00:06:16.820 --> 00:06:19.380 as someone that needed the Lord, 114 00:06:19.380 --> 00:06:22.620 or I had to look at him through the eyes of Christ 115 00:06:22.620 --> 00:06:25.860 so we can actually start to unpeel the layers 116 00:06:26.860 --> 00:06:29.200 of our past, our generational things 117 00:06:29.200 --> 00:06:31.240 that were brought into our marriage. 118 00:06:31.240 --> 00:06:36.240 And so that was a starting point for me to focus on self, 119 00:06:36.240 --> 00:06:40.200 focus on wanting to see the best out of my husband, 120 00:06:40.200 --> 00:06:42.960 and then us uniting 121 00:06:42.960 --> 00:06:45.600 and coming against the generational curses. 122 00:06:45.600 --> 00:06:46.440 Wow. 123 00:06:46.440 --> 00:06:48.480 And one thing I'll add to it is I learned 124 00:06:48.480 --> 00:06:51.160 that the battle is not in the natural first, 125 00:06:51.160 --> 00:06:53.080 the battle is in the spiritual realm. 126 00:06:53.080 --> 00:06:53.920 Wow. 127 00:06:53.920 --> 00:06:55.480 And so when you link up with that, 128 00:06:56.060 --> 00:06:56.900 then you're partnering with God 129 00:06:56.900 --> 00:06:59.180 and you're gonna get the results that you're looking for. 130 00:06:59.180 --> 00:07:04.180 So you can really probably feel the empathy, the compassion. 131 00:07:05.220 --> 00:07:06.860 You have a deep understanding. 132 00:07:06.860 --> 00:07:10.180 You're not just coming, you know, textbook coaching, 133 00:07:10.180 --> 00:07:12.300 you know, what the textbook says to do. 134 00:07:12.300 --> 00:07:13.140 Exactly. 135 00:07:13.140 --> 00:07:16.140 You're coming from personal experience and... 136 00:07:16.140 --> 00:07:19.300 Yes, personal experience and also insight. 137 00:07:19.300 --> 00:07:22.060 The Lord has really given me a gift 138 00:07:22.060 --> 00:07:26.140 to allow, to listen to people 139 00:07:26.140 --> 00:07:29.880 and to see really what's going on 140 00:07:29.880 --> 00:07:32.600 because sometimes you're so in it, you really don't know. 141 00:07:32.600 --> 00:07:37.600 And so it's having a listening ear and a passion, empathy. 142 00:07:37.920 --> 00:07:41.600 I call it truth in love, straight, no chaser. 143 00:07:41.600 --> 00:07:43.080 And you know that we've talked about 144 00:07:43.080 --> 00:07:44.720 kind of just telling it like it is, 145 00:07:44.720 --> 00:07:48.320 but helping someone to realize 146 00:07:48.320 --> 00:07:51.400 that their lives can be better 147 00:07:51.400 --> 00:07:54.340 and realize that when you take the principles of God 148 00:07:54.340 --> 00:07:56.220 and you learn how to forgive 149 00:07:56.220 --> 00:07:59.420 and you learn how to stand on the word of God 150 00:07:59.420 --> 00:08:02.420 and really practice the principles, 151 00:08:02.420 --> 00:08:03.700 you will get the results. 152 00:08:03.700 --> 00:08:04.540 Wow. 153 00:08:04.540 --> 00:08:07.060 So these are some things that you really do 154 00:08:07.060 --> 00:08:08.060 in the relationship. 155 00:08:08.060 --> 00:08:09.900 Helps them to know themselves, 156 00:08:09.900 --> 00:08:12.620 help them to walk through forgiveness. 157 00:08:12.620 --> 00:08:13.460 Yeah. 158 00:08:14.940 --> 00:08:15.780 Go ahead. 159 00:08:15.780 --> 00:08:16.600 Yeah, forgiveness. 160 00:08:16.600 --> 00:08:21.560 It's just, you know, I'll focus on relationships 161 00:08:21.560 --> 00:08:23.100 in this setting here. 162 00:08:23.100 --> 00:08:25.500 And a lot of times, you know that old saying, 163 00:08:25.500 --> 00:08:28.460 they're pointing the finger, but three are back at you. 164 00:08:28.460 --> 00:08:33.140 And so it's really helping that person 165 00:08:33.140 --> 00:08:35.980 identify their pitfalls 166 00:08:35.980 --> 00:08:38.460 because once you can start working on yourself, 167 00:08:38.460 --> 00:08:39.620 the rest is easy. 168 00:08:39.620 --> 00:08:40.740 Yeah. 169 00:08:40.740 --> 00:08:42.460 Yeah, it's so easy, right? 170 00:08:42.460 --> 00:08:44.620 The splinter and the log, 171 00:08:45.120 --> 00:08:46.920 it's so easy to see what the, 172 00:08:46.920 --> 00:08:48.800 if that person would just change, 173 00:08:48.800 --> 00:08:51.000 if you go to the relationship counselor, 174 00:08:51.000 --> 00:08:52.440 fix my husband, right? 175 00:08:52.440 --> 00:08:53.360 Exactly, yeah. 176 00:08:53.360 --> 00:08:56.080 And yet it's us. 177 00:08:56.080 --> 00:08:57.120 It begins with us. 178 00:08:57.120 --> 00:09:00.320 As we change, then the circumstances begin to change. 179 00:09:00.320 --> 00:09:05.160 Yes, because how we look at a situation, 180 00:09:05.160 --> 00:09:09.760 our energy can draw that type of situation. 181 00:09:09.760 --> 00:09:11.920 We're actually attracting a situation. 182 00:09:11.920 --> 00:09:12.760 Exactly. 183 00:09:12.780 --> 00:09:14.700 Did you say we sometimes attract a situation 184 00:09:14.700 --> 00:09:17.340 we need to grow through our own blind spots? 185 00:09:17.340 --> 00:09:19.500 Yes, yes, I agree with that, yes. 186 00:09:19.500 --> 00:09:21.540 Yeah, and the more you, 187 00:09:21.540 --> 00:09:24.300 if you don't get to a place where you want to change, 188 00:09:24.300 --> 00:09:29.300 you will constantly keep revisiting those old wounds. 189 00:09:30.460 --> 00:09:33.780 You're 10 steps down the road 190 00:09:33.780 --> 00:09:36.220 and you look up and you're 20 steps back 191 00:09:36.220 --> 00:09:38.140 because you let go of your future. 192 00:09:38.140 --> 00:09:40.420 You let go of looking forward and you look back. 193 00:09:40.440 --> 00:09:42.760 Going around the same mountain in the desert. 194 00:09:42.760 --> 00:09:43.600 Yeah, that's Egypt. 195 00:09:43.600 --> 00:09:46.200 Different person, different relationship, 196 00:09:46.200 --> 00:09:49.000 but we're still going around the same relationship issues 197 00:09:49.000 --> 00:09:50.240 we haven't mastered yet. 198 00:09:50.240 --> 00:09:53.320 Yes, yes, that's like putting a Band-Aid on something 199 00:09:53.320 --> 00:09:55.920 and not really wanting to go into surgery 200 00:09:55.920 --> 00:09:56.760 and take care of it. 201 00:09:56.760 --> 00:09:58.720 Yeah, wow. 202 00:09:58.720 --> 00:09:59.920 I know. 203 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:05.200 That one thing that makes you a little unique is that God really speaks to you. I mean, 204 00:10:05.200 --> 00:10:10.960 I'm not unique. He speaks to all of us, but it's not just typical coaching. You're really 205 00:10:10.960 --> 00:10:16.720 hearing from God and for that relationship so that it's personalized, it's individual. 206 00:10:17.680 --> 00:10:23.360 What does God show you? Does He reveal how to coach them or what it is that's the story 207 00:10:23.360 --> 00:10:27.680 they're stuck in or what do you find? How does God work with you in this process? 208 00:10:27.680 --> 00:10:36.560 Yeah, that's a good question. To me, every person is unique in their own way. And so, 209 00:10:36.560 --> 00:10:43.600 to me, I go before the Lord, I pray, and He shows me, He gives me the insight and the knowledge 210 00:10:43.600 --> 00:10:50.400 and understanding of what they need to move forward. And it's not just telling them what 211 00:10:50.400 --> 00:10:56.400 they need. It's actually walking with them and holding their hand until they're strong enough 212 00:10:56.400 --> 00:11:09.040 to stand on their own. And God has just allowed me to be able to have that trusting type of 213 00:11:09.040 --> 00:11:13.920 personality where they can come in and we can really take care of some issues that have kept 214 00:11:13.920 --> 00:11:23.280 them from their destiny. Wow, what an important work. As this is being filmed, we're in a kind 215 00:11:23.280 --> 00:11:30.480 of a world crisis. We're in a pandemic. Do you feel like this is taking a toll on relationships? 216 00:11:30.480 --> 00:11:35.520 Now suddenly people are forced living together, dealing with issues that maybe they could run away 217 00:11:35.520 --> 00:11:40.800 from. I mean, what are you seeing during the pandemic? Yeah, a lot of that's going on. And 218 00:11:40.800 --> 00:11:46.640 again, you're going to always hear me, you start inward and then outward. So you make a decision, 219 00:11:46.640 --> 00:11:55.600 you decide, do you want to live in panic or would you like to live in peace? And once you learn or 220 00:11:55.600 --> 00:12:01.280 you decide to live in peace, then it takes away all the anxiety and the fear and the doubt. Yeah, 221 00:12:01.280 --> 00:12:08.160 there's a lot going on, but there is a way to be able to master each day. Sometimes if you're 222 00:12:08.160 --> 00:12:12.560 looking too far down the road, you're into next week and you just need to get through today. 223 00:12:12.560 --> 00:12:17.200 But there's a way to get through that. And a lot of it, you're going to always hear me, 224 00:12:17.200 --> 00:12:23.680 I'm very foundational based with Christ, but He always has a plan for each day. And we just have 225 00:12:23.680 --> 00:12:30.000 to follow that plan. So you're pulling them back from worrying about the future and let's focus on 226 00:12:30.000 --> 00:12:37.840 today with Jesus. And I hear you saying, choose, that there's choice involved here. There's our 227 00:12:37.840 --> 00:12:42.560 free will. Is that, is that what I hear you saying? Yeah, in a sense. Yes. Because sometimes 228 00:12:42.560 --> 00:12:46.240 depending on how fearful and anxiety you're watching the news, you're watching a lot of stuff 229 00:12:46.240 --> 00:12:51.200 going on. You, you're in a panic. You don't know wear a mask, not wear a mask, you know, do I go 230 00:12:51.200 --> 00:12:56.800 outside? And so sometimes depending on your personality, yeah, you just may be a day at a time, 231 00:12:57.520 --> 00:13:04.400 you know, and again, um, with, with help and, you know, support, you can get past the now, 232 00:13:04.960 --> 00:13:07.760 you know, so that you can be able to, to, to live out. 233 00:13:07.760 --> 00:13:12.880 Tell me a story. Tell me a story, a couple that you've worked with, share, share something. 234 00:13:12.880 --> 00:13:16.800 Okay. I'll show this is a, I'll, I'll show this one. This one's a more recent, 235 00:13:16.800 --> 00:13:22.400 and this is just how God works with me. Um, the short version is I went to, uh, pick up, 236 00:13:22.400 --> 00:13:27.120 uh, some jewelry from a lady and we were kind of service talking and she said, 237 00:13:27.920 --> 00:13:33.040 the Lord told me, told, told you, she said, asked you to pray for me. 238 00:13:34.160 --> 00:13:39.840 And the lady was just empty. I, I, there was nothing, there was nothing. But then the Lord 239 00:13:39.840 --> 00:13:47.040 just had me start speaking into her dry situation, not knowing her situation. And, um, 240 00:13:48.160 --> 00:13:55.040 it was, uh, she was in a, in a, in a marriage that she just didn't, didn't know if she should 241 00:13:55.040 --> 00:14:01.360 walk away or try to hold on. And so we, we, we talked about it, went through some things and I 242 00:14:01.360 --> 00:14:07.280 did a followup like the next day, told her just some certain things to do. And it was like, she 243 00:14:07.280 --> 00:14:12.160 had a fresh of breath there. Like she had, she hadn't taken a breath in so long. She felt she 244 00:14:12.160 --> 00:14:18.400 was able. Yes. She was just breathe. Yes. Yeah. And so, um, just giving her some insight, some 245 00:14:18.400 --> 00:14:26.800 things to start with herself, um, and then, um, not kind of just browbeat the husband, um, into 246 00:14:26.800 --> 00:14:34.240 wanting things to be done a certain way. Um, um, she was able to, you know, get the success and, 247 00:14:34.240 --> 00:14:42.400 and, and about a week and a half later, uh, she was, her mind was clear. She had made some firm 248 00:14:42.400 --> 00:14:48.800 decisions to stay in the relationship and they're doing well. It's been about probably about four 249 00:14:48.800 --> 00:14:54.400 months now and they're doing well. He's, he's rededicated himself back to the Lord. And, uh, 250 00:14:54.400 --> 00:14:59.840 yeah, I have tons of story, but that one's the most recent. Yeah. Do you, do you see. 251 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:04.840 love that has gone cold, relationships where they're just, 252 00:15:04.840 --> 00:15:06.880 you know, so many people just live together 253 00:15:06.880 --> 00:15:09.040 and they're married, they're living together, 254 00:15:09.040 --> 00:15:11.680 but there's just, there's nothing. 255 00:15:11.680 --> 00:15:12.920 They're going through the motions. 256 00:15:12.920 --> 00:15:14.140 You know, did you take out the trash? 257 00:15:14.140 --> 00:15:14.980 Did you feed the kid? 258 00:15:14.980 --> 00:15:15.800 Whatever. 259 00:15:15.800 --> 00:15:19.880 But do you see where love just gets rekindled? 260 00:15:19.880 --> 00:15:20.700 And I mean- 261 00:15:20.700 --> 00:15:21.540 Oh gosh. 262 00:15:21.540 --> 00:15:22.380 Oh yes. 263 00:15:22.380 --> 00:15:23.200 Yeah, yeah. 264 00:15:23.200 --> 00:15:24.100 There's stories with that. 265 00:15:26.600 --> 00:15:28.640 I'm kind of pausing because, 266 00:15:29.640 --> 00:15:32.200 I mean, it must bring so much joy to see that, right? 267 00:15:32.200 --> 00:15:33.120 Oh, it does. 268 00:15:33.120 --> 00:15:34.560 Yes, it really does. 269 00:15:34.560 --> 00:15:38.560 To look and see that where people were say a year ago 270 00:15:38.560 --> 00:15:41.160 and they're all cuddle bugged up now and, you know, 271 00:15:41.160 --> 00:15:43.240 and, oh, my husband's doing this and my husband, 272 00:15:43.240 --> 00:15:45.000 so yes, it is great to see that. 273 00:15:45.000 --> 00:15:45.820 Yes. 274 00:15:45.820 --> 00:15:46.660 Just to see that. 275 00:15:46.660 --> 00:15:50.160 And also I like to see that they've taken the tools 276 00:15:50.160 --> 00:15:52.160 and they have not put the tools down 277 00:15:52.160 --> 00:15:54.560 that have helped them in their success. 278 00:15:54.560 --> 00:15:57.040 So when you're coaching, 279 00:15:57.120 --> 00:16:00.360 it's not just right there when you're inspiring them 280 00:16:00.360 --> 00:16:02.560 and guiding them and holding their hand, 281 00:16:02.560 --> 00:16:05.320 but you're giving them tools 282 00:16:05.320 --> 00:16:09.240 that they will continue to use maybe for a lifetime, yes? 283 00:16:09.240 --> 00:16:10.560 Yes, yes, yes. 284 00:16:10.560 --> 00:16:12.040 There's so many things that you can do 285 00:16:12.040 --> 00:16:15.960 to keep your marriage, you know, alive. 286 00:16:15.960 --> 00:16:18.720 And it does, you know, people say, 287 00:16:18.720 --> 00:16:20.800 they'll say, oh, you do 50, I do 50. 288 00:16:20.800 --> 00:16:21.960 No, it's 100%. 289 00:16:21.960 --> 00:16:23.280 It's 100%. 290 00:16:23.280 --> 00:16:25.580 Both people have to do the buy-in. 291 00:16:25.580 --> 00:16:28.420 And, you know, for my marriage, 292 00:16:28.420 --> 00:16:31.060 there was a time where we had to take the D word out, 293 00:16:31.060 --> 00:16:34.140 divorce, the Q word out, quit, you know, 294 00:16:34.140 --> 00:16:38.140 all those things that gave the enemy in the spirit realm 295 00:16:39.300 --> 00:16:42.860 ammunition to just continue to separate our marriage. 296 00:16:42.860 --> 00:16:45.500 So a lot of the tools that I've used in my own home 297 00:16:45.500 --> 00:16:49.220 is a lot of the tools that are easily and confidently 298 00:16:49.220 --> 00:16:51.820 and guaranteed to work if you apply them. 299 00:16:51.820 --> 00:16:52.980 I love that. 300 00:16:52.980 --> 00:16:54.760 It's just such an important work. 301 00:16:55.200 --> 00:16:57.320 I read, I think it was just in this past week, 302 00:16:57.320 --> 00:17:00.520 I read an interesting quote and it said, 303 00:17:00.520 --> 00:17:02.440 what you're talking about being all in, 304 00:17:02.440 --> 00:17:07.440 it said, 99% is hard, 100% is easy. 305 00:17:09.440 --> 00:17:10.680 And it's like what you're saying, 306 00:17:10.680 --> 00:17:13.319 as long as there's that back door, 307 00:17:13.319 --> 00:17:16.040 as long as there's that option, you know, 308 00:17:16.040 --> 00:17:19.359 that those are still in your vocabulary, 309 00:17:19.359 --> 00:17:21.720 life is much harder, I think. 310 00:17:21.720 --> 00:17:26.200 That is what I would say a society word is. 311 00:17:26.200 --> 00:17:28.680 What we've learned in biblical is 312 00:17:29.520 --> 00:17:31.640 nothing's impossible with God. 313 00:17:31.640 --> 00:17:35.680 And when we do it with Him, it's easy because we want to. 314 00:17:35.680 --> 00:17:39.800 When it's hard, it's because we haven't gotten the buy, 315 00:17:39.800 --> 00:17:42.400 we don't have the buy-in, we haven't bought into it. 316 00:17:43.840 --> 00:17:44.680 And think about it, 317 00:17:44.680 --> 00:17:46.440 when there's something that you really enjoy doing, 318 00:17:46.440 --> 00:17:48.600 you do it, you do it to the fullest. 319 00:17:48.600 --> 00:17:52.280 So I'm finding out too with relationships, 320 00:17:52.280 --> 00:17:56.440 when you learn to be friends first, that's half the battle. 321 00:17:56.440 --> 00:17:57.880 That's half the battle. 322 00:17:57.880 --> 00:18:01.120 And another big thing in relationships is 323 00:18:01.120 --> 00:18:05.520 we can be so condemning and put to a standard, 324 00:18:05.520 --> 00:18:08.520 you know, the spouse can be put to such a higher standard 325 00:18:08.520 --> 00:18:11.280 when in the male role, when they come home, 326 00:18:11.280 --> 00:18:12.880 they just wanna take their hat off, 327 00:18:12.880 --> 00:18:17.880 they don't really wanna have to be this leader type person. 328 00:18:18.120 --> 00:18:22.160 And where it's not taught is where women 329 00:18:23.160 --> 00:18:26.640 may need to learn the best way in a home 330 00:18:26.640 --> 00:18:30.400 to make that home their castle, their husband's castle, 331 00:18:30.400 --> 00:18:34.440 and that husband learning to treat that woman as that queen. 332 00:18:34.440 --> 00:18:39.440 So the biblical point is husbands love your wives 333 00:18:39.720 --> 00:18:41.320 like Christ loved the church. 334 00:18:41.320 --> 00:18:43.560 Well, if they never learned how to love the church, 335 00:18:43.560 --> 00:18:44.800 how can they love their wives? 336 00:18:44.840 --> 00:18:47.320 And the last point on that is that it says 337 00:18:47.320 --> 00:18:50.640 women or wives respect your husbands 338 00:18:50.640 --> 00:18:52.560 and it's pleasing to the Lord. 339 00:18:52.560 --> 00:18:53.640 So we have a lot, 340 00:18:53.640 --> 00:18:56.680 there's a lot of just the basic things like that. 341 00:18:56.680 --> 00:18:58.080 We're not taught these things. 342 00:18:58.080 --> 00:19:02.520 And many of us grew up without a model. 343 00:19:02.520 --> 00:19:05.120 And it's definitely not on television. 344 00:19:05.120 --> 00:19:07.280 It's not in our school system. 345 00:19:07.280 --> 00:19:09.580 You know, where do we really learn? 346 00:19:09.580 --> 00:19:13.080 I mean, male, female differences, like you said, 347 00:19:13.720 --> 00:19:17.080 we're expecting the men to be like our girlfriends. 348 00:19:17.080 --> 00:19:19.440 They're not, they're men, they're wired differently, 349 00:19:19.440 --> 00:19:22.400 but we're never taught that, you know? 350 00:19:22.400 --> 00:19:26.280 And so I can see where the role of coaching, 351 00:19:26.280 --> 00:19:27.620 you're doing so much. 352 00:19:27.620 --> 00:19:29.320 Like you said, you're helping them 353 00:19:29.320 --> 00:19:31.240 have a different perspective. 354 00:19:31.240 --> 00:19:32.680 You're praying with them. 355 00:19:32.680 --> 00:19:37.680 You're giving them new possibilities, understanding, tools. 356 00:19:38.560 --> 00:19:42.320 What would you say to someone in a relationship right now 357 00:19:42.320 --> 00:19:44.400 that is just hanging on? 358 00:19:44.400 --> 00:19:45.240 They don't know what to do. 359 00:19:45.240 --> 00:19:46.680 What would you say to them? 360 00:19:47.560 --> 00:19:52.120 I would say to that person that is really struggling 361 00:19:52.120 --> 00:19:55.080 and don't even want to get out of bed, you know, 362 00:19:55.080 --> 00:19:58.840 just really want to just escape from being wife, 363 00:19:58.840 --> 00:20:00.040 mother, all of that. 364 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:17.000 I would say there's hope. I enjoy doing what I do. I enjoy taking your hand and showing you a way to laugh again, enjoy life again. 365 00:20:17.000 --> 00:20:26.000 Your yesterday does not always have to be your story. You can write a new story, and together we can write a new story. 366 00:20:26.000 --> 00:20:35.000 So powerful. What a powerful word. Your yesterday does not have to be today. And I love that. Write a new story. 367 00:20:35.000 --> 00:20:46.000 Wow. You are a fascinating woman of God doing a really great work, Yvonne Providence. How can they reach you? How can they work with you? 368 00:20:46.000 --> 00:21:00.000 Great. So you can reach me at my email. It's ProvidenceLifeCoaching at Yahoo.com. I also have a podcast. It's Y.Providence Heart, Mind, Body, Soul. 369 00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:07.000 And you can also reach me on Facebook at Providence Life Coaching. I would love to get to know you. 370 00:21:07.000 --> 00:21:17.000 Providence Life Coaching. I have always loved your last name. I think it's just an amazing last name because I think about the providence of God. 371 00:21:17.000 --> 00:21:25.000 And I think that it would be the providence of God that brings you into a relationship to help restore hope and healing. 372 00:21:25.000 --> 00:21:36.000 And I think so many relationships can be not only just saved, and it's not just about surviving, but I believe you're restoring hope and love and joy. 373 00:21:36.000 --> 00:21:45.000 Like you said, they're cuddle bugs again. So they go to Providence Life Coaching at Yahoo.com. 374 00:21:45.000 --> 00:21:51.000 All right. So they just reach out to you by email. And do you offer some kind of free consultation or what do you do? 375 00:21:51.000 --> 00:22:02.000 Yeah. So if you're interested in a free consultation, well, if you're interested in contacting me, I offer for the first 30 minutes a free consultation. 376 00:22:02.000 --> 00:22:09.000 You fill out a questionnaire and we get to the heart of your situation and we move forward. 377 00:22:09.000 --> 00:22:12.000 So even in 30 minutes, something can start to have a breakthrough. 378 00:22:12.000 --> 00:22:13.000 Oh, yes. Yes. 379 00:22:13.000 --> 00:22:14.000 Wonderful. 380 00:22:14.000 --> 00:22:15.000 Definitely. 381 00:22:15.000 --> 00:22:23.000 What an important work. I am so blessed that you are here and getting to have people be able to know about what you're doing. 382 00:22:23.000 --> 00:22:31.000 I think that's just divine timing. It's divine providence. And so I'm so blessed that you're here. Thanks for being on the show. 383 00:22:31.000 --> 00:22:34.000 Thank you for inviting me. God bless you. 384 00:22:34.000 --> 00:22:35.000 And you. 385 00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:46.000 Thank you.