WEBVTT

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camera off because I'm a sight to behold. I have been in bed all day long. And I promise

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not to serenade any of you tonight. For those of you that were on prophetic prayer last

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night, you know what I'm talking about. And if you didn't watch prophetic prayer, then

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you want to make sure that you do because it was really great. All right. So I need

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to see hands because I wasn't prepared to coach this, but Holy Spirit is with us and

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we'll have a great day today. A great coaching. Um, so go ahead and, um, let's find out what

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we got. Let's go. What a phase. Who's in week one. Let me see the hands of week one.

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Who's in week two. If you guys can put your little avatar hand up, that will be easier

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for me to see probably. So week one, let's see all the avatar hands, little yellow hand

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there. Let's see those hands. All right. And then let's see week two. Week two of the heart

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work. That is the unpacking the heart boxes week. All right. And then week three. Who

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do we got for week three? All right. And then who's in week four forgiveness week. Who's

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in week four. Let's see all the hands of week four ladies. Okay. And then week five,

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lot of you about to graduate in the phase two that are on here tonight cited for you.

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Make sure that you don't mail in week five. Week five is really important because that

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is reestablishing more authentic identity. All of us without fail have counterfeit layers.

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Every one of us here tonight has counterfeit layers. Don't we? Yes. Week five plus that's

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right. And you guys, no matter how long it takes you in each week that you're in, that's

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okay. It doesn't have to take just one week. Week two might take three weeks, might week

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four might take, you know, a month depending on what you got going on in your life. It's

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okay. But as long as you don't fall off and not get back on, if you want to go slower

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through it, if you feel like you're kind of messy and you're not ready to go into like

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the dating phase, which is phase two, that's okay. You don't got to do that. And even if

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you do go into phase two, you're allowed to just go through the material and not necessarily

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take the dating challenge yet. All right. I want you to know that whatever you have

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peace on, you can do, but if we see you hiding, all right, if we see you delaying on, you

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know, discomfort and you really need to get stressed, you really need to do something

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more than what you're doing, we're going to call that out. Okay. Because that's what

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we're here for. So if we feel like you're just avoiding the inevitable, then we're definitely

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going to, you know, cause you to, to be a little accelerated past maybe something that

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you were comfortable with. And that is, that will be a divine acceleration, right? And

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that's what's important. So for all of you that are in week one, that supernatural surrender

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portion is so important. Um, sometimes, you know, I've, I've been in seasons of my life

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where I kind of have to sign that permission slip every single day to say, Hey God, I need

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you to take the wheel. If you were on the prophetic night last night, it was about praying

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that God would overshadow our efforts with the Holy spirit. Everything that is born of

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the spirit is born of God. Everything that's born of God is born of the spirit, right?

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Isn't that what Luke says? And so it's really important for us to understand that we're

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never going to do anything worth doing on this earth if it's not supernaturally born.

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Meaning that, yeah, you can get some things done. Some of you are get her done girls.

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I can look at you and tell that you are, you know, if you're on a team, people are going

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to put you in charge of a bunch of things cause you will get it done. And that's great.

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The problem is, is that very little of that would be eternal or have eternal value, right?

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It's through our weakness that his strength is made perfect. And so we want to make sure

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that we are leaning into his strength, that we are inviting him in. That's what that permission

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slip is all about. It's an invitation, a divine invitation. God, I don't want my life to look

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natural. I want it to look supernatural, supernatural. I want, you know, the juice on it from heaven.

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And so I want, for those of you that are in week one, two, three, four, five, don't get

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out of the habit of giving God permission and surrendering the pen to him. Week two,

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you're unpacking those boxes. You're starting to see where your bad patterns are coming

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some of those counterfeit identities,

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what traumas they live in.

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And remember, a lot of times those counterfeit identities

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or even the traumas that they are birthed from

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are counterintuitive, they're not what we're expecting.

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It wasn't the molestation from your uncle,

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it was something else, right?

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And a lot of times, if you've been through trauma

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and you've been through therapy,

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you feel like I've unpacked all the big boxes.

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Well, y'all, the little boxes

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are the ones I'm worried about, okay?

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The little boxes, write that down.

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The little boxes, the things that,

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because you were so used to trauma,

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because you were so used to dysfunction,

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you didn't even notice that stuff

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because by the time that stuff arrived,

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you had already been through

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how little gasoline underwear on.

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And so that stuff kind of just slipped

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through the cracks of therapy

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and even addressed that stuff

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because that was small potatoes in your mind

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to the bigger things that you have been through.

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And we need to remember that trauma comes in all sizes

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for all different people and everyone suffers,

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but our pain does have purpose, right?

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And that's what week three is about,

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confession, repentance.

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We want to begin to own our side of the street, right?

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We wanna confess the things that we have held onto,

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the things that we have allowed to get in our way.

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Sometimes you just need to come to God and confess,

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confess to others.

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Obviously this confession, James 5.16,

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is not just about confessing to God, that's easy.

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We know, a lot of us, most of us know

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that God loves us unconditionally.

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And if you don't, you're gonna learn that

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here in the heart work,

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that he's a good, good daddy, all those things.

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But we have a really hard time telling other people

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where we've screwed up because we are used to judgment.

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Raise your hand if you've been given

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a lot of unsolicited advice

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and you wanna tell the person,

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hey, that's not advice, that's judgment.

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What you're saying to me right now is actually not advice,

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it's you judging me, right?

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And so we're scared of that.

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We don't want that, we don't want conflict,

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we don't want confrontation,

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we don't wanna feel judged,

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we don't wanna feel like a bad person.

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But sometimes we just have to show up and admit,

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you know what, I've been playing victim

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for a lot of my life.

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And maybe you had a right to play victim

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because you've been through a lot of bad stuff like me.

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I get that.

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But I'm gonna tell you, there are no trophies for trauma

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and playing victim or taking on a victim posture

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will not get you victory.

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These are some of the things that God has taught me.

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He told me, taking on a posture of victimhood

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will not equal victory.

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It's not gonna get you victory.

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We're not here trying to get God to feel sorry for us.

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And sometimes without knowing it,

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we try to get other people to feel sorry for us, right?

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We show up to dates or to gatherings

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and we feel like we're soul puking on people,

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we're telling people all about

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the things that have happened in our lives

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as people don't know us.

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It's inappropriate boundaries

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for us to be telling them those things.

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But it's almost like we're showing up in our trophy

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or our claim to fame is just trauma.

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Like I've been through a lot of stuff, man.

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You know what I've been through?

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No.

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You haven't even lived what God has for you yet.

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And remember that pain has purpose.

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You haven't Roman 828 that pain yet.

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You haven't Genesis 5020 to that pain yet.

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What the devil meant for evil,

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God doesn't just turn it for good,

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but he also gives you a message with the mess.

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Gives you a testimony with the test.

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He gives you purpose for the pain, right?

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That is what it is, right?

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And for those of you that have gotten

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to the forgiveness chapter,

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we started to talk about that,

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the forgiveness week, and that's week four.

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And I want you guys making templates.

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Use that template and I want you making,

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there's huge lists of people

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that I believe Holy Spirit will highlight to you

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that you need to forgive.

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There's bad associations and bad memories

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and all types of reminders

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of things that have been done to you.

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And God wants to turn those things to be done for you.

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And so it's important.

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Forgiveness is what unlocks the supernatural Romans 828.

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For those of you that haven't seen,

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and just for those of you that don't know,

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I guess I shouldn't assume you know that scripture.

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That scripture says,

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and he will turn all things to the good

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of those that love him

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and are called according to his purpose.

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What is his purpose?

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His purpose is that you would show the world

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what a son and daughter of God looks like, right?

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You would show the world what God's kids look like.

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Your purpose on this earth is to show the world

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what the family of God looks like

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and what he does for his family.

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And so when we love him, we obey his commandments.

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When we love him and we trust him,

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when we have faith, we come to him

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because he's a rewarder of those that seek him, right?

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And so when these things happened,

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he changes the things that have happened to you

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to happening for you.

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And if you haven't seen the beauty

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that comes from the ashes yet,

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then I want to propose to you that you're still,

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you have still,

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you still have a tight grip on the ashes.

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You got a tight grip on those ashes, friends.

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And we got to release those ashes to God.

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We got to let him make something beautiful out of them.

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Right?

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And when we don't forgive people,

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because let's just face it,

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they don't deserve to be forgiven.

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Let's just be honest about it.

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Most of them aren't sorry.

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They've never apologized.

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And a lot of them are still out there living

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in the same mess that they drug you into

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when you were with them.

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Whether they're your parents or your siblings

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or former husbands or boyfriends or friends,

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best friends that ran off with your husband,

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whatever it is.

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They're still living in that mess.

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They're unrepentant, aren't they?

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And so it's like, why should I forgive them?

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They're not even sorry.

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Because forgiveness is a spiritual transaction.

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It has nothing to do with them.

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It has everything to do with you.

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It's a supernatural spiritual transaction.

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The Bible tells us very clearly,

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if we do not forgive,

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we do not get to participate

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in the finished work of the cross.

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If you do not forgive, you cannot be forgiven.

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And the good news for you and for me as well

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is forgiveness is not a feeling.

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So you don't gotta feel like it.

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All you have to do is be obedient to it.

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And so because of that,

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for those of you that are in week four

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and for those of you that are not,

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you're getting a little preview.

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That's why I likened it in my heart work materials

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to canceling a debt on a ledger.

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If you have a list of IOUs,

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if you have a list of debt that other people owe you

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that they borrowed from you,

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borrowed 50 bucks.

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Stacey borrowed 50 bucks from me.

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Emily owes me $150.

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Melissa, she borrowed a lot.

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She owes me $500.

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It's just examples, you guys.

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But when you go,

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you're the one that gets to decide

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whether or not that person has to pay you back.

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You're the one that decides whether or not

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you're just gonna cross that off

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and not seek vengeance, right?

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Not seek that retribution or whatever it is.

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You're the one that can cross it off.

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You're the only one that can cancel it.

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And that's what the scripture means

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that says that people's sin that we remit

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will be remitted.

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The people's sin that we retain will be retained.

248
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What?

249
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How can we cause people to stay in sin?

250
00:12:19.120 --> 00:12:21.680
Because when you don't release them,

251
00:12:21.680 --> 00:12:23.400
they stay in the counterfeit identity

252
00:12:23.400 --> 00:12:26.440
of abuser, user, liar, cheater, beater.

253
00:12:26.440 --> 00:12:27.280
And guess what?

254
00:12:27.280 --> 00:12:29.480
If they stay in that identity in the spirit realm,

255
00:12:30.760 --> 00:12:32.480
then you're tethered to that trauma

256
00:12:32.480 --> 00:12:34.000
and you have to be victim.

257
00:12:34.000 --> 00:12:35.400
You have to be the lied on.

258
00:12:35.400 --> 00:12:36.800
You have to be the cheated on.

259
00:12:36.800 --> 00:12:38.440
You have to be the abused.

260
00:12:38.440 --> 00:12:41.400
So we wanna cut that tether and free them.

261
00:12:41.400 --> 00:12:43.000
We can't make their choices.

262
00:12:43.000 --> 00:12:43.840
They have free will.

263
00:12:43.840 --> 00:12:45.640
They can continue to stay in that mess,

264
00:12:45.640 --> 00:12:48.760
but that mess will no longer be connected to you.

265
00:12:48.760 --> 00:12:49.960
Can someone say amen?

266
00:12:52.280 --> 00:12:53.400
Right?

267
00:12:53.400 --> 00:12:55.440
It will no longer be connected to you.

268
00:12:55.440 --> 00:12:57.120
A full forgiveness cycle looks like

269
00:12:57.120 --> 00:12:59.600
no longer identifying someone by their sin

270
00:13:00.560 --> 00:13:03.880
and no longer identifying yourself as your pain.

271
00:13:06.400 --> 00:13:08.120
So please, if you're in week four,

272
00:13:08.120 --> 00:13:09.320
do as many templates.

273
00:13:09.320 --> 00:13:11.160
You guys, I had pages.

274
00:13:11.160 --> 00:13:12.600
I had pages and pages.

275
00:13:12.600 --> 00:13:15.240
Y'all, I had a whole book for my mother all by herself

276
00:13:16.600 --> 00:13:17.800
because I didn't just take,

277
00:13:17.800 --> 00:13:19.040
and I wanna encourage y'all,

278
00:13:19.040 --> 00:13:19.880
I didn't just take,

279
00:13:19.880 --> 00:13:21.320
oh, Lord, I forgive my mom

280
00:13:21.320 --> 00:13:23.720
for all the things that she's done to me.

281
00:13:25.760 --> 00:13:27.960
No, I took every single instance

282
00:13:27.960 --> 00:13:30.160
that Holy Spirit was highlighting.

283
00:13:30.160 --> 00:13:32.560
I didn't go digging around for trauma,

284
00:13:32.560 --> 00:13:34.600
but as I sat with the template

285
00:13:34.600 --> 00:13:37.120
that had her name on the top of it,

286
00:13:37.120 --> 00:13:38.200
and I prayed,

287
00:13:38.200 --> 00:13:40.880
and I let Holy Spirit overshadow that process,

288
00:13:40.880 --> 00:13:43.080
and I said, what do I still need to forgive mom for?

289
00:13:43.080 --> 00:13:45.840
All kinds of memories,

290
00:13:45.840 --> 00:13:47.160
hurtful,

291
00:13:47.160 --> 00:13:48.640
negative,

292
00:13:48.640 --> 00:13:50.400
trauma-based memories

293
00:13:50.400 --> 00:13:52.280
that still were holding a lot of pain for me

294
00:13:52.280 --> 00:13:53.240
when I was thinking about them

295
00:13:53.240 --> 00:13:55.120
because we compartmentalize well, right?

296
00:13:55.120 --> 00:13:57.880
We forget because we're really resilient,

297
00:13:57.880 --> 00:14:00.200
and we move on until that thing,

298
00:14:00.200 --> 00:14:01.960
like a ticking time bomb,

299
00:14:01.960 --> 00:14:03.200
shows back up in our life,

300
00:14:03.200 --> 00:14:04.160
in our relationship,

301
00:14:04.160 --> 00:14:05.960
in our relationship with our children,

302
00:14:05.960 --> 00:14:09.280
in our relationship with a future husband.

303
00:14:09.280 --> 00:14:11.680
So that's why I gotta unpack and defuse those bombs now,

304
00:14:11.680 --> 00:14:14.400
and so I was able to make lists of things,

305
00:14:14.400 --> 00:14:15.840
and you guys, because of those lists,

306
00:14:15.840 --> 00:14:18.080
I will tell you that was 20,

307
00:14:19.040 --> 00:14:21.760
2009, that was 2009.

308
00:14:21.760 --> 00:14:23.680
I tried to get my mom to do her heart work as well,

309
00:14:23.680 --> 00:14:24.520
like I messaged her,

310
00:14:24.520 --> 00:14:25.360
I sent her an email,

311
00:14:25.360 --> 00:14:26.280
I still have that email,

312
00:14:26.280 --> 00:14:27.720
she didn't respond to it,

313
00:14:27.720 --> 00:14:29.680
because we were estranged,

314
00:14:29.680 --> 00:14:31.640
I went to live in a girl's home when I was 14,

315
00:14:31.640 --> 00:14:34.200
and then I really never had a relationship with my mom,

316
00:14:34.200 --> 00:14:37.000
really, really, ever since then,

317
00:14:37.000 --> 00:14:40.400
but because of that work that I did in 2009,

318
00:14:40.400 --> 00:14:43.080
I was able to show up for my mom in 2016

319
00:14:43.080 --> 00:14:43.920
when she was dying,

320
00:14:43.920 --> 00:14:46.480
and I was able to walk her to the hospital,

321
00:14:46.880 --> 00:14:49.560
and I was able to walk through the last four years

322
00:14:49.560 --> 00:14:50.920
of her life with her,

323
00:14:50.920 --> 00:14:52.000
and guess what?

324
00:14:52.000 --> 00:14:54.960
It was during that time that I published the heart work book,

325
00:14:54.960 --> 00:14:56.160
and she got to be there for it,

326
00:14:56.160 --> 00:14:57.520
and she did her heart work,

327
00:14:57.520 --> 00:15:00.160
and she left this earth completely.

328
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:05.880
at peace. Come on, y'all. I wish she was still here. I wish that I got to spend more years

329
00:15:05.880 --> 00:15:11.120
with her as the, you know, healed version of her. But she went to heaven at 63 years

330
00:15:11.120 --> 00:15:16.800
old. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of the real her or the redeemed

331
00:15:16.800 --> 00:15:30.440
version of her and wish I could have known that woman more. She was great. And some of

332
00:15:30.440 --> 00:15:34.600
you guys are going to have to make forgiveness templates for people that are not alive. They're

333
00:15:34.600 --> 00:15:40.280
not alive anymore. But it doesn't mean that you still don't have to forgive them. Right?

334
00:15:40.280 --> 00:15:44.480
Because you're holding on to that identity of trauma and pain. And it's important that

335
00:15:44.480 --> 00:15:49.680
you do that. All right, I promise you, I'm not still that broken hearted about my mom.

336
00:15:49.680 --> 00:15:55.120
I'm just sick. And I feel like when you're sick, you're really sensitive. So praise the

337
00:15:55.120 --> 00:16:02.280
Lord. All right. So those of you that are in week five, this is where you begin to do

338
00:16:02.280 --> 00:16:05.680
you know, you're gonna start dreaming through the whole through the whole heart work. But

339
00:16:05.680 --> 00:16:09.840
this is where you start to really be able to think about what do I really want to do

340
00:16:09.840 --> 00:16:14.040
with the rest of my life to make it the best of my life? You know, all the things that

341
00:16:14.040 --> 00:16:17.680
were in my way are not in my way anymore. And I believe that God can do anything in

342
00:16:17.680 --> 00:16:23.480
my life. And so what do I want to do? And you begin to daydream and nightdream and you

343
00:16:23.480 --> 00:16:28.400
begin to ask questions, you begin to step out, you begin to take risks. And that's why

344
00:16:28.400 --> 00:16:32.520
we tell you not to do any of that stuff until you get to the end of heart work because you

345
00:16:32.520 --> 00:16:37.160
should be coming alive inside. And sometimes we want to do crazy stuff like go in and tell

346
00:16:37.160 --> 00:16:43.200
our boss you can take this job and shut it and then run off and move out of state or

347
00:16:43.200 --> 00:16:46.800
out of the country or do something and maybe you'll do that. I wouldn't do the shove it

348
00:16:46.800 --> 00:16:52.440
part. But a lot of you are at places that are unworthy of you. And you've been there

349
00:16:52.440 --> 00:16:57.320
for a long time because you weren't the real you. But as you become more and more yourself,

350
00:16:57.320 --> 00:17:01.920
the authentic you the garden you, you're going to make bigger and bigger and bigger changes

351
00:17:01.920 --> 00:17:06.880
both on the outside. And as the changes happen on the inside, because remember, we're never

352
00:17:06.880 --> 00:17:10.680
stuck on the outside, we're only ever stuck on the inside. So as the inside changes, the

353
00:17:10.720 --> 00:17:15.319
outside changes, whether it's geographic, whether it's communities, whether it's

354
00:17:15.319 --> 00:17:20.960
activities, whether it's jobs or vocations or desires, that should start to change too

355
00:17:20.960 --> 00:17:24.680
for week five. Alright, so now that there's a synopsis of all of those, so all of you

356
00:17:24.680 --> 00:17:28.880
guys are on kind of on the same page. Let's go ahead and get into the questions. So all

357
00:17:28.880 --> 00:17:34.800
questions are welcome from any of the weeks, any of the weeks. So let's get at it. Who's

358
00:17:34.800 --> 00:17:35.480
got a question?

359
00:17:40.680 --> 00:17:54.360
Diane, if you're if your hands up, go ahead and ask.

360
00:17:57.200 --> 00:18:01.920
Oh, okay. That's funny. I didn't know my hand was still up. And I was trying to formulate

361
00:18:01.920 --> 00:18:06.560
a question. So I guess maybe I'm supposed to. Over the weekend, I just had something

362
00:18:06.560 --> 00:18:11.920
interesting that happened. And it brought up a question for me. I ran into someone who

363
00:18:11.920 --> 00:18:19.320
had caused a lot of interference in my marriage when I was married. And I, it was

364
00:18:19.320 --> 00:18:23.800
interesting, I had totally forgotten about the incident forgotten about the person. But I

365
00:18:23.800 --> 00:18:28.160
think running into her was God kind of putting that on my mind to let go of it and have

366
00:18:28.160 --> 00:18:33.640
forgiveness. And as I was driving away, I felt like God was impressing upon me just

367
00:18:33.640 --> 00:18:40.600
let go of the whole story, just let go of that. So I guess that would be I've never been a

368
00:18:40.600 --> 00:18:46.080
person where it's real super easy just to, to, you know, I hang on to things a lot. I don't

369
00:18:46.080 --> 00:18:51.520
hang on to grudges. But I, you know, just kind of hang on and process a lot. So what are

370
00:18:51.520 --> 00:18:56.400
your tips just for being able to lay things down? Let it go?

371
00:18:57.320 --> 00:19:01.040
Yeah, I love that. And Diane, are you in week four? You in the forgiveness week?

372
00:19:01.520 --> 00:19:03.000
I'm in the week five.

373
00:19:04.160 --> 00:19:04.720
I'm sorry.

374
00:19:05.360 --> 00:19:07.400
I'm the one just past that.

375
00:19:07.880 --> 00:19:12.840
Okay. All right. So you guys, you can expect this kind of stuff to happen where, you know, God

376
00:19:12.840 --> 00:19:16.600
will let us, you know, see someone or run into someone, something, someone or remember

377
00:19:16.600 --> 00:19:21.480
something that we thought, you know, we had completely forgotten about. And yes, I believe

378
00:19:21.480 --> 00:19:27.840
with you 100% that this is God inviting you into letting this go. And also letting go with

379
00:19:27.840 --> 00:19:30.200
it. I'm assuming it's a woman. Is that right?

380
00:19:31.320 --> 00:19:32.040
Yes.

381
00:19:32.400 --> 00:19:39.080
Okay. So letting go with it, the, the fear of someone coming in between you and your

382
00:19:39.080 --> 00:19:44.640
future husband, right? You know, the fear of, you know, of being around women who might

383
00:19:44.640 --> 00:19:48.840
be meddling in your marriage or trying to seduce your husband away from you or any of

384
00:19:48.840 --> 00:19:55.320
the above. And so when we when you release this person, and you know, you forgive them,

385
00:19:55.440 --> 00:19:59.080
regardless of whether they're sorry or not, you forgive them and you release it, you make

386
00:19:59.080 --> 00:19:59.960
a forgiveness template.

387
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:01.880
for them, and you release it,

388
00:20:01.880 --> 00:20:04.160
you also have that as a receipt.

389
00:20:04.160 --> 00:20:05.880
So Diane, if you're one of the people that,

390
00:20:05.880 --> 00:20:07.120
you know, you wanna process it,

391
00:20:07.120 --> 00:20:09.680
you're trying to figure out the why behind the what,

392
00:20:09.680 --> 00:20:12.520
you may never know the why behind the what.

393
00:20:12.520 --> 00:20:14.480
Now, there is a part on those forgiveness templates

394
00:20:14.480 --> 00:20:16.240
that says, what is Holy Spirit speaking to you?

395
00:20:16.240 --> 00:20:17.400
And so maybe this time around,

396
00:20:17.400 --> 00:20:19.200
you will get a little bit of clarity.

397
00:20:19.200 --> 00:20:20.040
But the bottom line is,

398
00:20:20.040 --> 00:20:22.320
even if you don't, there should be peace.

399
00:20:22.320 --> 00:20:23.660
And if the enemy comes back,

400
00:20:23.660 --> 00:20:26.120
if those nagging ideas of trying to figure it out,

401
00:20:26.120 --> 00:20:28.560
analyzing it, and all the things come back,

402
00:20:28.560 --> 00:20:30.440
you can just pull out your little receipt,

403
00:20:30.440 --> 00:20:32.480
and you can say, oh no, Jesus paid for it all.

404
00:20:32.480 --> 00:20:33.900
He already paid for this,

405
00:20:33.900 --> 00:20:35.440
and I've come into agreement with the finished work

406
00:20:35.440 --> 00:20:37.000
of the cross on behalf of this person,

407
00:20:37.000 --> 00:20:38.360
and they are forgiven.

408
00:20:38.360 --> 00:20:41.600
As far as I am, I'm gonna live at peace with all people.

409
00:20:41.600 --> 00:20:45.200
As far as I'm able to, I'm gonna live at peace,

410
00:20:45.200 --> 00:20:46.360
and I release this.

411
00:20:46.360 --> 00:20:47.700
And so every time that comes up,

412
00:20:47.700 --> 00:20:49.480
you're just gonna continue to release it.

413
00:20:49.480 --> 00:20:52.840
You're gonna continue to remind yourself with that receipt

414
00:20:52.840 --> 00:20:56.720
that it's a done deal, it's a finished work, okay?

415
00:20:56.720 --> 00:20:58.480
But I believe that on,

416
00:20:58.480 --> 00:21:00.420
I believe that not the consequences of it,

417
00:21:00.420 --> 00:21:04.360
but the fruit of it will be that you will be able

418
00:21:04.360 --> 00:21:07.320
to have women around your marriage,

419
00:21:07.320 --> 00:21:09.240
because you need women in the future

420
00:21:09.240 --> 00:21:11.640
without always wondering what's really going on.

421
00:21:13.760 --> 00:21:16.640
Yeah, it really, it created a lot of lack of trust,

422
00:21:16.640 --> 00:21:19.000
and I reacted rather than responded,

423
00:21:19.000 --> 00:21:21.200
and it caused some bad things in our marriage.

424
00:21:21.200 --> 00:21:24.560
And so driving away that day too,

425
00:21:24.560 --> 00:21:26.760
I looked at, because, you know,

426
00:21:26.760 --> 00:21:28.520
just without sharing too much,

427
00:21:28.520 --> 00:21:31.000
my husband was very abusive,

428
00:21:31.000 --> 00:21:33.040
and I didn't believe in divorce,

429
00:21:33.040 --> 00:21:35.480
so I wasn't the person that was going to leave.

430
00:21:35.480 --> 00:21:40.440
And as I drove away, I tried to think like,

431
00:21:40.440 --> 00:21:44.200
okay, what were the ways in which it actually served me

432
00:21:44.200 --> 00:21:46.260
for this woman to interfere?

433
00:21:46.260 --> 00:21:49.240
And when I thought that way, it kind of brought about,

434
00:21:49.240 --> 00:21:52.700
well, she was maybe a catalyst that caused him to leave.

435
00:21:53.700 --> 00:21:56.940
I don't think I could have sustained living

436
00:21:56.940 --> 00:21:58.940
in that marriage the way it was.

437
00:21:58.940 --> 00:22:01.420
It was really, you know, it destroys your soul

438
00:22:01.420 --> 00:22:03.800
when you're living in a situation like that.

439
00:22:05.300 --> 00:22:07.360
So I tried to just, you know,

440
00:22:07.360 --> 00:22:08.460
that verse where you, you know,

441
00:22:08.460 --> 00:22:12.180
to be grateful for everything, whether it's good or bad.

442
00:22:12.180 --> 00:22:14.020
So that's what I tried to do that,

443
00:22:14.020 --> 00:22:16.260
to try to help myself get past it.

444
00:22:16.260 --> 00:22:19.660
And, you know, I don't want to like still have negative

445
00:22:19.660 --> 00:22:22.500
vibes toward the fact that this person did that,

446
00:22:23.300 --> 00:22:24.620
but I'm glad that you pointed out like in the future,

447
00:22:24.620 --> 00:22:26.380
because I think that may be a fear

448
00:22:26.380 --> 00:22:27.940
that's held me back from dating,

449
00:22:27.940 --> 00:22:30.580
is like the things that happened in my marriage

450
00:22:30.580 --> 00:22:33.340
that I thought I had let go of, but haven't.

451
00:22:33.340 --> 00:22:34.180
Well, good.

452
00:22:34.180 --> 00:22:35.180
This is giving you an opportunity

453
00:22:35.180 --> 00:22:37.340
to really cut those tethers.

454
00:22:37.340 --> 00:22:40.660
So I want to encourage you to take that opportunity

455
00:22:40.660 --> 00:22:43.300
and make some, and make numerous, you know,

456
00:22:43.300 --> 00:22:46.820
templates for all people involved in this.

457
00:22:46.820 --> 00:22:47.980
So that's good.

458
00:22:47.980 --> 00:22:48.820
All right.

459
00:22:48.820 --> 00:22:50.440
Good question there, Diane.

460
00:22:50.440 --> 00:22:51.280
Lucy, you're up.

461
00:22:53.500 --> 00:22:54.340
Awesome.

462
00:22:54.340 --> 00:22:55.180
Hi, Jackie.

463
00:22:55.180 --> 00:22:57.780
My question is very similar to Diane,

464
00:22:57.780 --> 00:22:59.140
so it's okay if you're like,

465
00:22:59.140 --> 00:23:00.420
I'll totally understand if you're like,

466
00:23:00.420 --> 00:23:03.460
okay, yeah, just what I just said.

467
00:23:03.460 --> 00:23:04.420
I've had something similar.

468
00:23:04.420 --> 00:23:06.860
So I'm in week four right now,

469
00:23:06.860 --> 00:23:08.580
which is the forgiveness week.

470
00:23:09.780 --> 00:23:13.540
So I haven't seen my ex-boyfriend

471
00:23:13.540 --> 00:23:16.420
or anyone from his family, nothing in,

472
00:23:17.940 --> 00:23:19.580
you know, since we broke up.

473
00:23:20.060 --> 00:23:23.820
The last week I saw his younger brother,

474
00:23:23.820 --> 00:23:24.780
I've seen his younger brother,

475
00:23:24.780 --> 00:23:27.640
like both weekends run into him.

476
00:23:28.860 --> 00:23:32.140
In my situation, I feel actually,

477
00:23:32.140 --> 00:23:35.340
I felt almost as much or more hurt by the younger brother

478
00:23:35.340 --> 00:23:37.180
and things that were said and done

479
00:23:37.180 --> 00:23:39.020
than I have even by my ex-boyfriend.

480
00:23:40.540 --> 00:23:41.380
So I've seen-

481
00:23:41.380 --> 00:23:42.200
And why is that?

482
00:23:42.200 --> 00:23:43.040
Because he didn't like you

483
00:23:43.040 --> 00:23:44.540
and he was glad y'all broke up?

484
00:23:45.460 --> 00:23:47.700
Yes, there were some things,

485
00:23:47.700 --> 00:23:49.380
the way he did business practices

486
00:23:50.180 --> 00:23:51.140
that I didn't agree with.

487
00:23:51.140 --> 00:23:53.140
And there was just one time where I expressed

488
00:23:53.140 --> 00:23:55.500
that I couldn't agree or congratulate.

489
00:23:55.500 --> 00:23:57.780
And then from then on, anything I did,

490
00:23:57.780 --> 00:23:59.460
he talked to his brother about like,

491
00:23:59.460 --> 00:24:01.340
turn anything I did or said

492
00:24:01.340 --> 00:24:04.060
and make me appear in a way that I'm not.

493
00:24:04.060 --> 00:24:05.780
And it just, it felt horrific.

494
00:24:05.780 --> 00:24:08.140
And finally, I don't know all the details,

495
00:24:08.140 --> 00:24:10.660
but I think it just felt like

496
00:24:10.660 --> 00:24:11.980
there was manipulation and control.

497
00:24:11.980 --> 00:24:13.380
It was just gross.

498
00:24:13.380 --> 00:24:14.220
Yeah, no, and you guys,

499
00:24:14.220 --> 00:24:16.900
and I want you to know that this happens so often.

500
00:24:16.900 --> 00:24:17.740
It really does.

501
00:24:17.740 --> 00:24:21.220
I have a bride right now that is going through a divorce.

502
00:24:21.220 --> 00:24:23.940
She got married in this community

503
00:24:23.940 --> 00:24:26.060
and it was, they were really happily married,

504
00:24:26.060 --> 00:24:30.140
but her husband's sister came in between the marriage

505
00:24:30.140 --> 00:24:33.100
and really just destroyed the marriage.

506
00:24:33.100 --> 00:24:34.700
And so it does happen.

507
00:24:34.700 --> 00:24:35.540
It does happen.

508
00:24:35.540 --> 00:24:39.060
Parents, siblings, it definitely happens.

509
00:24:39.060 --> 00:24:40.260
Yeah, it was gross.

510
00:24:40.260 --> 00:24:41.540
It was like the top three,

511
00:24:41.540 --> 00:24:44.300
probably worst experiences with a man in my life.

512
00:24:44.300 --> 00:24:46.500
And the problem was that he would,

513
00:24:46.500 --> 00:24:47.700
it all happened like

514
00:24:48.700 --> 00:24:50.580
when the ex-boyfriend wasn't listening or watching.

515
00:24:50.580 --> 00:24:52.620
So it was just sick.

516
00:24:52.620 --> 00:24:56.020
Anyway, so I've run into him twice the last two weekends

517
00:24:56.020 --> 00:24:56.860
and I'm wondering like,

518
00:24:56.860 --> 00:24:58.460
God, are you saying I need to talk to him?

519
00:24:58.460 --> 00:25:00.260
Are you, what are you saying about?

520
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:05.120
that I've run into him. Yes, as in like, I've walked in, I've

521
00:25:05.120 --> 00:25:07.240
been in a space and he's suddenly there and I've like

522
00:25:07.240 --> 00:25:11.120
turned and walked away. You know, like, you know, like when

523
00:25:11.120 --> 00:25:14.640
I'm, I'm having you turn and walk away, you turn I'm sorry,

524
00:25:14.640 --> 00:25:18.000
you turn and walked away after he saw you or he didn't see you.

525
00:25:18.640 --> 00:25:22.640
I don't know. So one, I was leaving a coffee shop, I

526
00:25:22.640 --> 00:25:26.040
realized, oh, shoot, my car's parked the other way. And as I

527
00:25:26.040 --> 00:25:28.840
look up, I see him, but he's looking down at his phone. So I

528
00:25:28.840 --> 00:25:32.960
just got afraid and turn around and walked away. And then, and

529
00:25:32.960 --> 00:25:37.280
then yesterday, I was walking into a coffee shop, and I saw

530
00:25:37.280 --> 00:25:40.320
him through the window, like sitting talking to a girl. And I

531
00:25:40.320 --> 00:25:42.880
walked in and I just kind of do you live? Do you live in

532
00:25:42.880 --> 00:25:46.680
Reading? Yeah. Okay, so it's going to be impossible not to

533
00:25:46.680 --> 00:25:50.040
run into someone in Reading, California. I mean, I just want

534
00:25:50.040 --> 00:25:53.240
to tell you, I feel famous when I'm in Reading, California,

535
00:25:53.240 --> 00:25:55.440
because people will stop me on the street and ask me if I'm

536
00:25:55.440 --> 00:25:59.720
Jackie Dorman. Okay, because I was on a podcast for Bethel

537
00:25:59.760 --> 00:26:03.040
Church. And so I'm just telling you that the town is a postage

538
00:26:03.040 --> 00:26:06.600
stamp if you've never been there. So Lucy, yes. How long

539
00:26:06.600 --> 00:26:07.600
ago was the breakup?

540
00:26:09.160 --> 00:26:10.440
February 21.

541
00:26:10.640 --> 00:26:15.040
Oh, so it's very new. Okay. All right. And there's no chance of

542
00:26:15.040 --> 00:26:15.920
getting back together.

543
00:26:17.600 --> 00:26:21.280
I don't think so. We broke up, we worked through things, his

544
00:26:21.280 --> 00:26:26.280
brother told him, he didn't think we should be dating. I

545
00:26:26.280 --> 00:26:28.720
chose to do this course, because I knew there were dysfunctions.

546
00:26:28.720 --> 00:26:31.520
I was tired of everything always being my fault and communication

547
00:26:31.520 --> 00:26:36.800
problems. And I could only join I couldn't. He chose not to. And

548
00:26:36.800 --> 00:26:39.360
then he let me know he didn't feel have peace about it. He

549
00:26:39.360 --> 00:26:41.640
already asked another girl on a date, even though he told me he

550
00:26:41.640 --> 00:26:45.400
was waiting. So that's where things are. He also has five

551
00:26:45.400 --> 00:26:49.600
kids from two former girlfriends and is only been back with the

552
00:26:49.600 --> 00:26:51.560
Lord like two years. So you're not

553
00:26:52.480 --> 00:26:55.560
okay. So he has five kids with two former girlfriends. He

554
00:26:55.560 --> 00:27:00.520
didn't even marry those girls, right? No. Okay. So sounds like

555
00:27:00.560 --> 00:27:03.080
unless he gets a lot healthier, you probably dodged a bullet

556
00:27:03.080 --> 00:27:08.520
here. And then secondly, I don't think that you have to because

557
00:27:08.520 --> 00:27:11.440
here's the thing. If you run into someone in person, and

558
00:27:11.440 --> 00:27:13.720
that's a very small town, and I'm glad I'm familiar with it

559
00:27:13.720 --> 00:27:16.600
because I can kind of picture you going into evergreen or

560
00:27:16.600 --> 00:27:19.960
theory. Okay, I can picture it in my head because I've been

561
00:27:19.960 --> 00:27:24.200
there sometimes. And so, you know, those are small spaces

562
00:27:24.200 --> 00:27:26.760
with a lot of people that know each other. And I don't think

563
00:27:26.760 --> 00:27:29.680
that it's the right format. I honestly don't. So I think that

564
00:27:29.680 --> 00:27:35.320
you seeing him is just God inviting you into releasing your

565
00:27:35.320 --> 00:27:40.160
soul. Okay, and in bringing peace to you of you forgiving

566
00:27:40.160 --> 00:27:43.680
him, you know, kind of like they know not what they do kind of

567
00:27:43.680 --> 00:27:47.360
thing. He's obviously operating out of fear. He's obviously

568
00:27:47.360 --> 00:27:51.480
operating out of, you know, some other type of oppressive thing.

569
00:27:51.800 --> 00:27:54.600
You know, if his brother has been, you know, with two girls

570
00:27:54.600 --> 00:27:56.720
and has five kids, you know, then there's probably some

571
00:27:56.720 --> 00:28:00.680
dysfunction in the family. And you guys, all of you listen, when

572
00:28:00.680 --> 00:28:02.920
you get into these later stages of dating, where it gets

573
00:28:02.920 --> 00:28:05.280
serious, it's like that level three. And for those of you,

574
00:28:05.280 --> 00:28:07.440
they're going to phase two, you'll find out all about that

575
00:28:07.440 --> 00:28:11.800
over there. If a man's not willing to leave and cleave, he

576
00:28:11.800 --> 00:28:15.800
ain't your guy. All right, if he's gonna allow his siblings or

577
00:28:15.800 --> 00:28:18.920
his parents or even his former wife, because it's a blended

578
00:28:18.920 --> 00:28:23.040
family, control you and your household, if you marry him, a

579
00:28:23.040 --> 00:28:27.000
girl, you do not want that. All right, you do not want that. I

580
00:28:27.000 --> 00:28:31.760
have seen that in real time so many times. And it is a recipe

581
00:28:31.760 --> 00:28:36.240
for divorce. Okay. And we do not want that it's or just, you

582
00:28:36.240 --> 00:28:41.120
know, just, it's a recipe for divorce or just abuse or Yeah,

583
00:28:41.120 --> 00:28:45.680
it's just, it's horrible. You don't want it. Okay, so I feel

584
00:28:45.680 --> 00:28:48.800
like if you forgive him and make the templates, write down

585
00:28:48.800 --> 00:28:51.600
specifically what he said about you, what he did, all the

586
00:28:51.600 --> 00:28:55.000
things, sit with Holy Spirit, let him overshadow it, I think

587
00:28:55.000 --> 00:28:58.680
there's a possibility that there could be a softness of heart

588
00:28:58.680 --> 00:29:03.440
that comes over him. That when you do run into him again, you

589
00:29:03.440 --> 00:29:07.000
know, you'll be able to be civil and he will as well. You won't

590
00:29:07.000 --> 00:29:09.680
have to pretend like you don't see the elephant in the room

591
00:29:09.680 --> 00:29:13.720
because those are small rooms you're talking about. And yeah,

592
00:29:13.760 --> 00:29:17.640
they're very small. And so it's important that you know, you're

593
00:29:17.640 --> 00:29:21.920
able to live in your town without fear. And so I want to

594
00:29:21.920 --> 00:29:24.440
encourage you to do that first. And if while you're sitting with

595
00:29:24.440 --> 00:29:26.240
Holy Spirit, he tells you something different, write a

596
00:29:26.240 --> 00:29:28.280
letter, write an email that you do whatever he tells you to do.

597
00:29:28.840 --> 00:29:31.240
But as of right now, I think it's just for you, honestly. And

598
00:29:31.240 --> 00:29:34.480
I feel like hearts can be softened when you will, when you

599
00:29:34.480 --> 00:29:37.400
will do what the Word of God says, the Bible says, y'all, if

600
00:29:37.400 --> 00:29:41.120
someone has odd against us, it doesn't say if you're offended

601
00:29:41.120 --> 00:29:44.280
at them. Okay, it says, if you know, they're offended at you,

602
00:29:44.280 --> 00:29:47.000
they don't like you, they're offended at you. What does it

603
00:29:47.000 --> 00:29:51.040
say to do? It says for you to, you know, try to restore when

604
00:29:51.040 --> 00:29:53.800
I'm sure that you tried to at some level, you know, make

605
00:29:53.800 --> 00:29:56.600
peace, because you seem like a really sweet girl. But it also

606
00:29:56.600 --> 00:29:59.880
says to, you know, if you're in the same

607
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:01.760
community, this is important.

608
00:30:01.760 --> 00:30:03.560
If you're in the spiritual community of God,

609
00:30:03.560 --> 00:30:05.280
the household of faith together,

610
00:30:05.280 --> 00:30:08.280
you would need to bring the elders, right?

611
00:30:08.280 --> 00:30:10.280
You would need to bring other people in authority

612
00:30:10.280 --> 00:30:13.560
to try to work that out because you can't be in a family

613
00:30:13.560 --> 00:30:15.600
with people that are gunning for each other.

614
00:30:15.600 --> 00:30:18.360
But she's not in that situation with this guy

615
00:30:18.360 --> 00:30:21.200
and so we have to switch to the other scripture

616
00:30:21.200 --> 00:30:23.120
that says pray for those that hate you

617
00:30:23.120 --> 00:30:25.120
and despitefully use you, right?

618
00:30:25.120 --> 00:30:26.120
Bless them.

619
00:30:26.120 --> 00:30:27.920
And so that's what she's gonna do right now.

620
00:30:27.920 --> 00:30:29.480
All right, Melissa, what do you got?

621
00:30:30.720 --> 00:30:35.720
Okay, I just began week five and I am someone

622
00:30:40.800 --> 00:30:45.800
that I never dream, absolutely never dream,

623
00:30:48.680 --> 00:30:50.760
haven't in years.

624
00:30:50.760 --> 00:30:55.760
And Saturday night, I had a dream.

625
00:30:56.160 --> 00:31:00.240
It was about my son, my youngest son.

626
00:31:00.240 --> 00:31:02.520
He is 20, almost 21.

627
00:31:03.520 --> 00:31:08.520
And in the dream, there were some family members around

628
00:31:09.960 --> 00:31:14.960
and I was telling him that we were going to church

629
00:31:16.560 --> 00:31:20.240
and he was saying, no, I'm going home.

630
00:31:20.240 --> 00:31:23.720
And I was like, no, we're going to church.

631
00:31:23.720 --> 00:31:27.480
And he kept arguing, no, I'm going home.

632
00:31:27.480 --> 00:31:32.480
And then all of a sudden, his eyes, it's kind of weird,

633
00:31:32.840 --> 00:31:37.440
but his eyes illuminated and jumped out at me

634
00:31:37.440 --> 00:31:41.080
and I began to, I felt like I was in a trance

635
00:31:41.960 --> 00:31:44.920
and I couldn't respond.

636
00:31:44.920 --> 00:31:49.920
And as soon as that happened, I woke up.

637
00:31:50.920 --> 00:31:55.920
And I'm just wondering what this dream means.

638
00:31:58.760 --> 00:32:02.280
Okay, so if you could write out your dream, all right,

639
00:32:02.280 --> 00:32:05.680
and if you put it in the group and write it out,

640
00:32:05.680 --> 00:32:07.960
because there's a lot of nuances there and details

641
00:32:07.960 --> 00:32:11.560
and we could just take a look at it, we can help you.

642
00:32:11.560 --> 00:32:13.000
I think it is a prophetic dream.

643
00:32:13.000 --> 00:32:14.400
I'll tell you that right now.

644
00:32:14.400 --> 00:32:17.520
And so it's difficult for me to, I'm very visual.

645
00:32:17.520 --> 00:32:18.440
I need to look at it.

646
00:32:18.440 --> 00:32:20.880
So when I see it or when Bethany sees it,

647
00:32:20.880 --> 00:32:23.360
we'll give you feedback on it, okay?

648
00:32:23.360 --> 00:32:24.200
Okay.

649
00:32:24.200 --> 00:32:25.560
But I will tell you that I do believe

650
00:32:25.560 --> 00:32:28.520
it's a spirit-based dream, at least parts of it are.

651
00:32:29.360 --> 00:32:30.200
I do too.

652
00:32:30.200 --> 00:32:32.840
I really felt like whenever I woke up,

653
00:32:32.840 --> 00:32:37.800
I really felt like it was spiritual.

654
00:32:37.800 --> 00:32:42.440
And there's parts, honestly, that I feel like I understand

655
00:32:42.440 --> 00:32:44.600
and there's parts that I feel like I don't.

656
00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:47.520
Okay, take a look at it.

657
00:32:47.520 --> 00:32:49.880
It'd be a confirmation for you.

658
00:32:49.880 --> 00:32:54.880
Okay, one other thing also is I dreamed again last night.

659
00:32:56.520 --> 00:32:57.800
I never dream.

660
00:32:57.800 --> 00:33:01.360
I know, well, I warned y'all, didn't I tell you?

661
00:33:01.360 --> 00:33:05.360
Yes, and last night in the dream,

662
00:33:06.440 --> 00:33:09.480
everyone was saying, here's the bride, here's the bride.

663
00:33:09.480 --> 00:33:11.720
And I'm like, wait a second, what?

664
00:33:11.720 --> 00:33:12.880
Like who, me?

665
00:33:12.880 --> 00:33:13.720
I'm the bride?

666
00:33:14.400 --> 00:33:15.240
Yes.

667
00:33:15.240 --> 00:33:16.920
Come on, I love it.

668
00:33:16.920 --> 00:33:20.320
I love that, what an encouraging and beautiful dream.

669
00:33:20.320 --> 00:33:21.720
Love it.

670
00:33:21.720 --> 00:33:22.560
Yeah.

671
00:33:22.560 --> 00:33:23.760
I hope that really encouraged your heart.

672
00:33:23.760 --> 00:33:25.400
You're headed to phase two when?

673
00:33:26.880 --> 00:33:28.800
I'm in week five right now.

674
00:33:28.800 --> 00:33:31.360
Okay, well, make sure you post your dreams in this group,

675
00:33:31.360 --> 00:33:33.320
not that one, okay?

676
00:33:33.320 --> 00:33:34.160
Okay.

677
00:33:34.160 --> 00:33:35.720
Okay, great, thank you.

678
00:33:35.720 --> 00:33:37.040
All right, thanks for sharing that.

679
00:33:37.040 --> 00:33:39.280
That's encouraging for everyone.

680
00:33:39.280 --> 00:33:41.200
Okay, Christelle Charles, what we got?

681
00:33:44.720 --> 00:33:46.520
Hi, Jackie.

682
00:33:46.520 --> 00:33:48.960
So my question is,

683
00:33:50.840 --> 00:33:55.840
how do you stay hopeful and like encourage

684
00:33:57.480 --> 00:33:59.840
like during this whole heart process?

685
00:33:59.840 --> 00:34:03.880
Like, especially like when things are coming up,

686
00:34:03.880 --> 00:34:07.080
like disappointments that you thought

687
00:34:07.080 --> 00:34:11.159
that maybe you dealt with in the past,

688
00:34:11.679 --> 00:34:15.000
but like all those things are like coming up again

689
00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:17.320
and you're like trying to process them.

690
00:34:17.320 --> 00:34:19.280
Because I think for me, it's just like,

691
00:34:20.159 --> 00:34:23.920
I think I'm scared to feel the pain

692
00:34:23.920 --> 00:34:26.159
that I felt in the first,

693
00:34:26.159 --> 00:34:29.920
the first time I felt, you know, that whole disappointment.

694
00:34:29.920 --> 00:34:31.840
So like, how do you stay hopeful

695
00:34:31.840 --> 00:34:34.520
and encouraged during that whole process?

696
00:34:34.520 --> 00:34:36.880
Great, great question.

697
00:34:36.880 --> 00:34:38.639
And here's the thing,

698
00:34:38.679 --> 00:34:40.880
just because, you know,

699
00:34:40.880 --> 00:34:44.159
you're not consciously aware of the pain

700
00:34:44.159 --> 00:34:47.080
doesn't mean it's not affecting every aspect of your life.

701
00:34:48.040 --> 00:34:50.000
And so it's important for you to understand that

702
00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:50.840
because you're saying,

703
00:34:50.840 --> 00:34:53.400
I'm afraid of re-experiencing the trauma,

704
00:34:53.400 --> 00:34:56.239
but you are re-experiencing the trauma

705
00:34:56.239 --> 00:35:01.240
because that trauma has created a counterbalance.

706
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.280
or fit identity in which you're living out of.

707
00:35:02.280 --> 00:35:04.600
Does that make sense to everyone?

708
00:35:04.600 --> 00:35:07.000
I write in the book, and some of you aren't there yet,

709
00:35:07.000 --> 00:35:10.120
but I write in the book about how I really hurt my knee.

710
00:35:10.120 --> 00:35:11.160
Right?

711
00:35:11.160 --> 00:35:14.420
And as long as I didn't do X, Y, Z,

712
00:35:15.660 --> 00:35:18.160
you know, I didn't get it taken care of.

713
00:35:18.160 --> 00:35:19.000
I didn't go to the doctor.

714
00:35:19.000 --> 00:35:21.360
I probably definitely needed to.

715
00:35:21.360 --> 00:35:24.360
I probably definitely might've even needed surgery.

716
00:35:24.360 --> 00:35:25.760
But I didn't do any of that stuff.

717
00:35:25.760 --> 00:35:27.080
I just let it just go.

718
00:35:27.080 --> 00:35:28.400
And it was like, oh, it'll just get better.

719
00:35:28.400 --> 00:35:29.600
And this is what we do with traumas.

720
00:35:30.560 --> 00:35:31.400
We push them down.

721
00:35:31.400 --> 00:35:33.000
We say, okay, I'll deal with that later.

722
00:35:33.000 --> 00:35:34.000
We don't have time.

723
00:35:34.000 --> 00:35:36.600
You know, a lot of you, when you experienced your trauma,

724
00:35:36.600 --> 00:35:38.960
you already were an adult in a lot of ways,

725
00:35:38.960 --> 00:35:40.840
or you're a kid and you didn't have the tools

726
00:35:40.840 --> 00:35:42.020
to deal with trauma.

727
00:35:42.020 --> 00:35:45.920
Whatever it was, you had to just leave it for another day.

728
00:35:45.920 --> 00:35:46.760
Okay?

729
00:35:46.760 --> 00:35:48.160
And what happens when we do that is,

730
00:35:48.160 --> 00:35:50.020
and I write about this in this story,

731
00:35:50.020 --> 00:35:51.800
is that we start altering our life

732
00:35:51.800 --> 00:35:53.160
to make room for our pain.

733
00:35:55.180 --> 00:35:58.040
My knee started feeling fine,

734
00:35:58.040 --> 00:36:00.680
unless I did things that I wanted to do,

735
00:36:00.680 --> 00:36:03.840
like play volleyball, or run, or exercise,

736
00:36:03.840 --> 00:36:05.900
or do things that are definitely part

737
00:36:05.900 --> 00:36:07.880
of my authentic identity.

738
00:36:07.880 --> 00:36:10.160
And so as long as I didn't do those things,

739
00:36:10.160 --> 00:36:11.280
then it wouldn't tweak out.

740
00:36:11.280 --> 00:36:12.840
I wouldn't feel the pain.

741
00:36:12.840 --> 00:36:16.160
But as soon as I tried to resume my regular life

742
00:36:16.160 --> 00:36:19.960
and try to capture the things that I lost in life

743
00:36:19.960 --> 00:36:22.640
before that trauma, that's when I started feeling it.

744
00:36:22.640 --> 00:36:25.120
And so that's what you're doing here, Christelle.

745
00:36:25.120 --> 00:36:27.440
You have to be willing to feel it.

746
00:36:27.840 --> 00:36:30.520
Because remember, it's not the same pain.

747
00:36:30.520 --> 00:36:32.040
This is the pain of change.

748
00:36:32.040 --> 00:36:34.000
This is the pain of healing.

749
00:36:34.000 --> 00:36:36.440
This is not the pain of that original trauma.

750
00:36:36.440 --> 00:36:38.680
This is the pain of you getting past it,

751
00:36:38.680 --> 00:36:40.280
and it's better out than in.

752
00:36:40.280 --> 00:36:41.560
So encourage yourself with that,

753
00:36:41.560 --> 00:36:43.680
that yes, you're gonna feel some of it,

754
00:36:43.680 --> 00:36:46.280
but this is a scheduled heart surgery.

755
00:36:46.280 --> 00:36:49.160
Holy Spirit is here to overshadow you, all right?

756
00:36:49.160 --> 00:36:52.200
Jesus is the master heart surgeon.

757
00:36:52.200 --> 00:36:54.800
He knows what to do, all right?

758
00:36:55.280 --> 00:36:57.600
And I guess I just really wanna say to all of you,

759
00:36:57.600 --> 00:36:59.000
this is a time in your life

760
00:36:59.000 --> 00:37:01.160
where this is a scheduled breakthrough,

761
00:37:01.160 --> 00:37:03.320
and it's important that you take it

762
00:37:03.320 --> 00:37:06.720
because you don't wanna have an unscheduled breakdown later

763
00:37:07.600 --> 00:37:09.080
in the middle of your relationship,

764
00:37:09.080 --> 00:37:10.200
your marriage, whatever.

765
00:37:10.200 --> 00:37:13.800
And I promise you, these roosters will come home to roost.

766
00:37:13.800 --> 00:37:14.640
They will.

767
00:37:15.640 --> 00:37:19.840
As soon as you're in danger of having to be vulnerable

768
00:37:19.840 --> 00:37:22.840
and really let someone in into me see,

769
00:37:22.840 --> 00:37:24.760
all kinds of stuff's gonna start tumbling up

770
00:37:24.760 --> 00:37:26.200
out of that box in your heart.

771
00:37:26.200 --> 00:37:28.120
And so we gotta unpack it together now.

772
00:37:28.120 --> 00:37:29.320
This is our chance.

773
00:37:29.320 --> 00:37:31.000
And it doesn't mean the heart work's ever done.

774
00:37:31.000 --> 00:37:32.160
It's not one and done,

775
00:37:32.160 --> 00:37:34.520
but it does mean that you do the work here.

776
00:37:34.520 --> 00:37:35.920
Like I said, I believe it's accelerated.

777
00:37:35.920 --> 00:37:37.720
I believe it's a tipping point.

778
00:37:37.720 --> 00:37:38.960
It's supernatural.

779
00:37:38.960 --> 00:37:40.400
And then when you go into phase two and three,

780
00:37:40.400 --> 00:37:43.600
you're gonna need to try it out real time with people.

781
00:37:43.600 --> 00:37:44.920
And as that happens,

782
00:37:44.920 --> 00:37:46.960
we're gonna see where there's more need for healing,

783
00:37:46.960 --> 00:37:48.600
and you're gonna get even more healing.

784
00:37:48.600 --> 00:37:50.320
So Christelle, I guess what I wanna encourage you

785
00:37:50.320 --> 00:37:52.080
is that God led you here.

786
00:37:52.080 --> 00:37:54.040
He knows what you need and he knows how to get it to you.

787
00:37:54.040 --> 00:37:55.360
And if you trust him,

788
00:37:55.360 --> 00:37:57.200
it's not gonna hurt the way it did at first.

789
00:37:57.200 --> 00:37:58.880
It's gonna be the pain of healing,

790
00:37:58.880 --> 00:38:01.480
and he will give you the grace to be able to do it.

791
00:38:05.400 --> 00:38:07.000
Thank you.

792
00:38:07.000 --> 00:38:08.480
And we're here for you, girl.

793
00:38:08.480 --> 00:38:10.480
You guys, please post in your group.

794
00:38:10.480 --> 00:38:12.800
There's no one else in your phase one group

795
00:38:12.800 --> 00:38:14.960
except for people who are in the heart work.

796
00:38:14.960 --> 00:38:17.200
And so no matter what week you're in, post in your group.

797
00:38:17.200 --> 00:38:18.280
Talk about where you are.

798
00:38:18.280 --> 00:38:19.560
What are your wins?

799
00:38:19.560 --> 00:38:21.000
Where are the places where you're stuck

800
00:38:21.000 --> 00:38:22.200
and you're feeling discouraged?

801
00:38:22.200 --> 00:38:23.760
Post there.

802
00:38:23.760 --> 00:38:25.240
Okay, make sure that you take advantage

803
00:38:25.240 --> 00:38:26.800
of that weekly post on Sundays

804
00:38:26.800 --> 00:38:27.760
about what are you working on?

805
00:38:27.760 --> 00:38:28.600
Where are you?

806
00:38:28.600 --> 00:38:29.560
What's going on?

807
00:38:29.560 --> 00:38:33.000
Because that is what we use to do these coaching calls with.

808
00:38:33.000 --> 00:38:36.280
And the app, we gotta keep praying, y'all.

809
00:38:36.280 --> 00:38:39.120
The developer has never seen it take this long

810
00:38:39.120 --> 00:38:40.480
to get approved by the Apple Store.

811
00:38:40.480 --> 00:38:42.200
It's just warfare.

812
00:38:42.200 --> 00:38:43.640
And if you guys were on the call last night,

813
00:38:43.640 --> 00:38:44.720
the prophetic prayer call,

814
00:38:44.720 --> 00:38:46.840
you know that my whole house got flooded.

815
00:38:46.840 --> 00:38:48.640
Okay, my husband thinks he's Noah.

816
00:38:48.680 --> 00:38:51.160
And then flooded the whole house.

817
00:38:51.160 --> 00:38:55.480
And then I just came down with a crazy fever, 102 fever,

818
00:38:55.480 --> 00:38:58.920
been in bed all day long, had to cancel my challenge, y'all.

819
00:38:58.920 --> 00:39:01.360
I have never done that for the four years

820
00:39:01.360 --> 00:39:04.520
that this community has been born.

821
00:39:04.520 --> 00:39:08.440
And so something is up, something's up for sure.

822
00:39:08.440 --> 00:39:10.600
And that's a good something up.

823
00:39:10.600 --> 00:39:12.840
Anytime the enemy is meddling,

824
00:39:12.840 --> 00:39:16.280
you best believe that God is doing something great.

825
00:39:16.280 --> 00:39:18.520
And so we're gonna push forward in that.

826
00:39:19.400 --> 00:39:20.840
All right, we have three more questions here.

827
00:39:20.840 --> 00:39:23.240
Sarah, Anisha, and Maddie.

828
00:39:23.240 --> 00:39:24.360
Sarah, what do you got?

829
00:39:27.040 --> 00:39:32.200
Oh, hey, quick clarification on hope,

830
00:39:32.200 --> 00:39:35.760
kind of to just piggyback her.

831
00:39:35.760 --> 00:39:38.800
I feel like there's things that we can hope for,

832
00:39:38.800 --> 00:39:41.240
but then you were talking a lot in that teaching

833
00:39:41.240 --> 00:39:46.080
about supernatural hope, that that's beyond circumstances.

834
00:39:46.200 --> 00:39:49.520
So I guess I'm just curious,

835
00:39:49.520 --> 00:39:53.920
because sometimes we like really long for a certain outcome,

836
00:39:53.920 --> 00:39:58.280
but I just, I think I'm having a little bit of difficulty

837
00:39:58.280 --> 00:40:00.160
understanding how to attack.

838
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.960
to supernatural hope that's beyond,

839
00:40:02.960 --> 00:40:06.120
because it feels a little both and, right?

840
00:40:06.120 --> 00:40:08.720
Well, yeah, and you can't do it on your own.

841
00:40:08.720 --> 00:40:10.120
So you can't do it,

842
00:40:10.120 --> 00:40:12.480
but you can acknowledge that you're not living

843
00:40:12.480 --> 00:40:15.320
at that level for hope, you know,

844
00:40:15.320 --> 00:40:17.560
and you can allow God to show you why.

845
00:40:17.560 --> 00:40:18.920
What are the lies that you're believing

846
00:40:18.920 --> 00:40:22.680
that are keeping you being able to glisten with hope, right?

847
00:40:22.680 --> 00:40:24.560
As my friend, Steve Backlin says,

848
00:40:24.560 --> 00:40:26.360
being able to show up, you know,

849
00:40:26.360 --> 00:40:29.600
and just your life, your future is glistening with hope.

850
00:40:29.720 --> 00:40:30.560
Right?

851
00:40:30.560 --> 00:40:32.080
You believe that the rest of your life

852
00:40:32.080 --> 00:40:33.320
is the best of your life.

853
00:40:33.320 --> 00:40:35.320
You believe that everything's not just happening to you,

854
00:40:35.320 --> 00:40:36.640
it's happening for you.

855
00:40:36.640 --> 00:40:37.560
What does that look like?

856
00:40:37.560 --> 00:40:39.720
That looks like a supernatural shift.

857
00:40:39.720 --> 00:40:41.160
That's not natural.

858
00:40:41.160 --> 00:40:44.360
Guys, remember our flesh is corrupt.

859
00:40:44.360 --> 00:40:45.960
That's why it's called the corruptible.

860
00:40:45.960 --> 00:40:47.960
And that's why we have to follow after the spirit

861
00:40:47.960 --> 00:40:50.000
so that we don't give the flesh what it wants,

862
00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:53.000
because what it wants is to feel sorry for itself.

863
00:40:54.680 --> 00:40:56.240
It really does.

864
00:40:56.240 --> 00:40:57.240
It feels good.

865
00:40:57.240 --> 00:40:58.080
Let's admit it.

866
00:40:58.080 --> 00:41:00.960
It feels good to have a pity party.

867
00:41:00.960 --> 00:41:02.560
Poor me.

868
00:41:02.560 --> 00:41:07.200
The problem is, is that does not provoke change at all.

869
00:41:08.640 --> 00:41:09.680
Yeah, that's true.

870
00:41:09.680 --> 00:41:10.520
It doesn't.

871
00:41:10.520 --> 00:41:12.280
And so it's important that we get to the root

872
00:41:12.280 --> 00:41:14.040
of why in those certain areas,

873
00:41:14.040 --> 00:41:17.000
and that's why those areas are all sectioned out,

874
00:41:17.000 --> 00:41:21.240
why do I look at this area of motherhood

875
00:41:21.240 --> 00:41:23.120
and I just have no hope for it?

876
00:41:24.240 --> 00:41:25.080
I just wanna let you guys know

877
00:41:25.080 --> 00:41:27.200
there are millions of orphans in the world,

878
00:41:27.200 --> 00:41:30.080
millions of orphans in America, just America alone.

879
00:41:30.080 --> 00:41:32.200
I think there's something like 30 million kids

880
00:41:32.200 --> 00:41:33.480
without families.

881
00:41:33.480 --> 00:41:35.040
What in the world?

882
00:41:37.160 --> 00:41:38.400
What in the world?

883
00:41:38.400 --> 00:41:40.760
If you wanna be a mom, you certainly can.

884
00:41:42.160 --> 00:41:43.600
That's why you gotta surrender the pen to God,

885
00:41:43.600 --> 00:41:45.800
because it might not look like you expected it to look.

886
00:41:45.800 --> 00:41:48.720
It might not look like a baby coming out of your vagina.

887
00:41:48.720 --> 00:41:51.400
It might, but it actually might not.

888
00:41:51.400 --> 00:41:54.720
But if you have a desire to be a mother,

889
00:41:54.720 --> 00:41:58.360
you certainly can, you can.

890
00:41:58.360 --> 00:41:59.600
I have a student right now

891
00:41:59.600 --> 00:42:03.320
who has all kinds of foster babies.

892
00:42:03.320 --> 00:42:05.080
As soon as they're born from their mother's womb,

893
00:42:05.080 --> 00:42:06.280
because they're not allowed to stay with mom

894
00:42:06.280 --> 00:42:08.600
for whatever reason, as soon as they come out,

895
00:42:08.600 --> 00:42:10.120
they immediately come to her.

896
00:42:11.360 --> 00:42:13.040
And she is able to spend the first moments

897
00:42:13.040 --> 00:42:14.840
of these babies' lives with them.

898
00:42:14.840 --> 00:42:15.840
I know that you and I are like,

899
00:42:15.840 --> 00:42:17.080
ooh, that sounds like a lot of work,

900
00:42:17.080 --> 00:42:19.040
but you know what, she loves it.

901
00:42:19.040 --> 00:42:19.880
She loves it.

902
00:42:19.880 --> 00:42:21.720
Sometimes she'll have as many as three infants

903
00:42:21.720 --> 00:42:23.560
at a time at her house.

904
00:42:23.560 --> 00:42:24.760
I don't know how she does that.

905
00:42:24.760 --> 00:42:27.560
I know you guys are all wide-eyed, like what in the world?

906
00:42:27.560 --> 00:42:28.640
But you know what?

907
00:42:28.640 --> 00:42:30.400
She used to be kind of a hard girl.

908
00:42:30.400 --> 00:42:31.240
She's young.

909
00:42:31.240 --> 00:42:32.120
She's in her early 40s,

910
00:42:32.120 --> 00:42:34.160
but she was just hard by disappointment.

911
00:42:34.160 --> 00:42:35.400
It has softened her so much.

912
00:42:35.400 --> 00:42:36.600
She is so divine feminine.

913
00:42:36.600 --> 00:42:37.880
She is so changed.

914
00:42:38.880 --> 00:42:43.880
Her nurturing, caring kindness has come to the forefront,

915
00:42:44.120 --> 00:42:45.880
and it has really changed her life.

916
00:42:49.200 --> 00:42:51.560
So Sarah, your answer is you can't do it on your own,

917
00:42:51.560 --> 00:42:53.320
but you can ask him to show you

918
00:42:53.320 --> 00:42:56.360
why it's so hard to stay in hope in those areas.

919
00:42:56.360 --> 00:42:57.800
All right, Aneesha, what do you got?

920
00:42:57.800 --> 00:42:58.640
Is it Aneesha?

921
00:42:58.640 --> 00:43:00.760
Aneesha, what am I saying here?

922
00:43:00.760 --> 00:43:02.600
Aneesha, yeah, of course.

923
00:43:02.600 --> 00:43:05.160
It's difficult for me to sound that out,

924
00:43:05.160 --> 00:43:08.000
because I, phonics and me don't get along, y'all.

925
00:43:08.000 --> 00:43:09.240
I just want to let you know.

926
00:43:09.240 --> 00:43:10.080
All right.

927
00:43:11.080 --> 00:43:12.000
Thank you.

928
00:43:12.000 --> 00:43:13.800
So my question was,

929
00:43:14.800 --> 00:43:16.720
I was like praying, going through some of the work.

930
00:43:16.720 --> 00:43:17.720
I'm in week three.

931
00:43:18.760 --> 00:43:20.760
One of the kind of the visions God brought to me

932
00:43:21.080 --> 00:43:24.680
was a memory of my brother when I was placed in respite,

933
00:43:24.680 --> 00:43:27.240
because I was in the foster care system.

934
00:43:27.240 --> 00:43:28.200
It was my brother.

935
00:43:28.200 --> 00:43:29.520
We went to the same school, obviously,

936
00:43:29.520 --> 00:43:31.080
but I was placed in a different home.

937
00:43:31.080 --> 00:43:34.120
And it was my brother crying,

938
00:43:34.120 --> 00:43:35.880
because he was worried about me,

939
00:43:35.880 --> 00:43:37.400
that I got placed somewhere else.

940
00:43:37.400 --> 00:43:40.160
And I can remember that memory was significant,

941
00:43:40.160 --> 00:43:43.720
because it was the first time I felt like someone missed me.

942
00:43:45.200 --> 00:43:47.400
Is your brother older or younger?

943
00:43:47.400 --> 00:43:48.920
He's younger than me.

944
00:43:48.960 --> 00:43:51.960
And what relationship do you have now?

945
00:43:51.960 --> 00:43:52.800
We don't.

946
00:43:52.800 --> 00:43:54.160
We have been estranged for years,

947
00:43:54.160 --> 00:43:58.200
because part of this issue that I had

948
00:43:58.200 --> 00:44:01.360
is I never felt like I was wanted.

949
00:44:01.360 --> 00:44:02.880
Like, I always felt rejected.

950
00:44:02.880 --> 00:44:06.000
So I made every effort for connection,

951
00:44:06.000 --> 00:44:08.240
whether it be like lying, cheating,

952
00:44:08.240 --> 00:44:10.400
making crises in the home,

953
00:44:10.400 --> 00:44:13.320
and that really estranged me and my siblings for years.

954
00:44:13.320 --> 00:44:15.000
But I look back at that little girl,

955
00:44:15.000 --> 00:44:16.640
and I'm like, she just wanted to connect.

956
00:44:16.640 --> 00:44:17.960
She wanted to be loved.

957
00:44:17.960 --> 00:44:19.320
100%.

958
00:44:19.320 --> 00:44:21.360
Yeah, and I believe that God's gonna reconnect you

959
00:44:21.360 --> 00:44:23.040
to your family.

960
00:44:23.040 --> 00:44:23.880
I do.

961
00:44:23.880 --> 00:44:25.840
I believe that some parts of your family

962
00:44:25.840 --> 00:44:28.120
you're going to have relationship with again.

963
00:44:28.120 --> 00:44:31.800
Whatever reputation you have with your siblings,

964
00:44:31.800 --> 00:44:33.480
with that brother, whoever,

965
00:44:33.480 --> 00:44:36.160
whatever reputation you've had because of the past trauma,

966
00:44:36.160 --> 00:44:38.680
they're not gonna remember that version of you.

967
00:44:38.680 --> 00:44:42.080
And so I just want you to be open to that.

968
00:44:42.080 --> 00:44:44.080
Do you live in Chicago?

969
00:44:44.080 --> 00:44:45.360
No, I live in New York.

970
00:44:45.400 --> 00:44:46.880
We actually met in New York a couple of weeks,

971
00:44:46.880 --> 00:44:48.040
about a month ago.

972
00:44:48.040 --> 00:44:49.360
Who did?

973
00:44:49.360 --> 00:44:50.520
Me and you.

974
00:44:50.520 --> 00:44:51.480
Oh, me and you.

975
00:44:51.480 --> 00:44:52.640
Oh, hey girl.

976
00:44:52.640 --> 00:44:53.480
Hi.

977
00:44:55.200 --> 00:44:56.800
Okay, so you live in New York.

978
00:44:56.800 --> 00:44:58.160
Do you go to that church?

979
00:44:59.520 --> 00:45:00.360
I, no.

980
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:01.480
I don't, we traveled three hours.

981
00:45:02.720 --> 00:45:03.180
Oh, you did.

982
00:45:03.180 --> 00:45:03.520
Okay.

983
00:45:03.820 --> 00:45:06.000
As your family, what's, what's the link to Chicago?

984
00:45:07.320 --> 00:45:10.640
Um, oh, this is the Chicago bulls basketball team.

985
00:45:10.920 --> 00:45:11.560
Oh yeah, I know.

986
00:45:11.560 --> 00:45:13.300
But did you, did you grow up there?

987
00:45:13.300 --> 00:45:13.960
Are you from there?

988
00:45:13.960 --> 00:45:16.760
You just, you just have the sweatshirt from Target.

989
00:45:17.200 --> 00:45:17.600
Okay.

990
00:45:17.880 --> 00:45:21.080
Where, where is your, where's your family at right now?

991
00:45:21.080 --> 00:45:21.720
Do you know?

992
00:45:22.520 --> 00:45:26.680
Yeah, they're all around my brothers and my dad moved to Texas and kind

993
00:45:26.680 --> 00:45:28.700
of like met, married somebody in Texas.

994
00:45:28.700 --> 00:45:29.860
Haven't talked to him in two years.

995
00:45:29.860 --> 00:45:31.640
My brother moved away.

996
00:45:31.640 --> 00:45:32.800
Like, we're all very strange.

997
00:45:32.800 --> 00:45:34.680
So we're all like, just kind of spread out now.

998
00:45:35.280 --> 00:45:35.680
Okay.

999
00:45:36.280 --> 00:45:40.520
Well, I believe that God's going to start bringing restoration in your family, in

1000
00:45:40.520 --> 00:45:41.140
your family.

1001
00:45:41.160 --> 00:45:44.520
Um, and it may just start with one member, but it's going to happen.

1002
00:45:46.360 --> 00:45:46.760
Thank you.

1003
00:45:46.840 --> 00:45:47.200
It is.

1004
00:45:47.540 --> 00:45:48.160
And you know what?

1005
00:45:48.320 --> 00:45:50.760
You don't have to, and I have a very similar story.

1006
00:45:51.040 --> 00:45:54.520
I had a lot of very similar coping mechanisms is what you're describing,

1007
00:45:55.120 --> 00:45:58.200
you know, of just making up stories and living in a fantasy world and

1008
00:45:58.200 --> 00:46:01.340
manipulating and trying to stay safe and all the things.

1009
00:46:01.740 --> 00:46:05.220
And that, you know, that is a trauma based version of you.

1010
00:46:05.460 --> 00:46:07.580
That was the survivor version of you.

1011
00:46:07.580 --> 00:46:11.660
That's what you felt like you had to do as a child to, to be safe and to keep

1012
00:46:11.660 --> 00:46:14.660
yourself safe and to survive and to try to get connection.

1013
00:46:14.660 --> 00:46:16.900
And, um, it's not the real you.

1014
00:46:16.900 --> 00:46:20.580
And so you don't have to, no matter if that's anyone else's perception of you,

1015
00:46:20.860 --> 00:46:22.260
that's not the real you.

1016
00:46:22.260 --> 00:46:24.620
And you don't have to answer to that identity anymore.

1017
00:46:24.780 --> 00:46:25.100
Okay.

1018
00:46:26.080 --> 00:46:27.560
Or be ashamed of any of that.

1019
00:46:27.840 --> 00:46:31.520
Cause like you said, you know, you were a child and you were just doing your best.

1020
00:46:33.160 --> 00:46:33.600
Thank you.

1021
00:46:34.200 --> 00:46:34.560
Okay.

1022
00:46:35.280 --> 00:46:38.560
So you guys, you can make forgiveness lists for yourself now that we're older

1023
00:46:38.560 --> 00:46:41.720
and we know better, and even though we know that we did that stuff out of trauma,

1024
00:46:42.200 --> 00:46:44.560
we can still, we can still ask for forgiveness for it.

1025
00:46:44.680 --> 00:46:45.120
Right.

1026
00:46:46.080 --> 00:46:50.360
Because we want to disconnect and you're like, well, how does that work Jackie?

1027
00:46:50.360 --> 00:46:52.760
Because you're forgiving that broken version of yourself.

1028
00:46:52.760 --> 00:46:53.720
Cause it's not the real you.

1029
00:46:53.720 --> 00:46:55.580
So it's almost like forgiving someone else.

1030
00:46:56.860 --> 00:47:01.180
It's like forgiving someone else because that person no longer lives here.

1031
00:47:01.820 --> 00:47:05.220
And so it's important that we do those forgiveness templates for ourselves.

1032
00:47:05.220 --> 00:47:07.820
And for some of the things that we're not proud of that we did,

1033
00:47:08.300 --> 00:47:10.900
um, out of the desire to survive.

1034
00:47:12.500 --> 00:47:13.900
All right, Maddie, you're up.

1035
00:47:15.660 --> 00:47:16.460
Hi, Jackie.

1036
00:47:16.460 --> 00:47:18.020
Thanks for taking my question.

1037
00:47:18.340 --> 00:47:20.180
Um, first I want to encourage you.

1038
00:47:20.600 --> 00:47:24.880
Um, I'm here by the testimony of a friend from church.

1039
00:47:24.880 --> 00:47:30.160
She picked up your book and it totally changed her life.

1040
00:47:30.200 --> 00:47:34.120
Um, she got married at 48 just a year ago.

1041
00:47:34.160 --> 00:47:38.520
And she's like, you've got to take this Facebook challenge

1042
00:47:38.520 --> 00:47:40.320
and you've got to join the class.

1043
00:47:40.320 --> 00:47:43.960
She's like, my biggest regret was I didn't take the class.

1044
00:47:44.840 --> 00:47:45.280
Okay.

1045
00:47:46.260 --> 00:47:50.580
And so I just want to encourage you that there are people out there that you've

1046
00:47:50.580 --> 00:47:53.900
never met that, that are married because of you.

1047
00:47:55.220 --> 00:47:56.460
Oh, no, I trust me.

1048
00:47:56.460 --> 00:47:57.660
I, I know.

1049
00:47:57.900 --> 00:48:01.620
And I get, I get stopped at airports and all over the place and people say,

1050
00:48:01.620 --> 00:48:04.660
Hey, I'm married because of you, because of your challenge, because of your book.

1051
00:48:05.180 --> 00:48:07.600
Um, and so I do appreciate that though.

1052
00:48:07.600 --> 00:48:12.020
And yes, and I, I wish people would take the class because, you know, finding

1053
00:48:12.020 --> 00:48:15.960
the person is, you know, finding a person isn't all what it's about.

1054
00:48:16.000 --> 00:48:19.880
If you're not ready to, you know, be there or if your picker is broken and

1055
00:48:19.880 --> 00:48:24.200
you just go decide, decide to pick anyway, then, you know, it's not going to be good.

1056
00:48:25.040 --> 00:48:25.340
Right.

1057
00:48:25.340 --> 00:48:26.100
Exactly.

1058
00:48:26.280 --> 00:48:27.720
So here's my question.

1059
00:48:27.740 --> 00:48:33.720
I'm, I'm dealing with, I'm in week five, you know, who are you?

1060
00:48:33.720 --> 00:48:34.940
What's your identity?

1061
00:48:34.940 --> 00:48:44.120
And I'm dealing with a false identity that I will, I have made bad decisions.

1062
00:48:44.120 --> 00:48:46.400
I will always make bad decisions.

1063
00:48:46.840 --> 00:48:53.240
The last, um, relationship I was in, I was with somebody for 10 years.

1064
00:48:53.760 --> 00:48:55.360
I met him at Bible study.

1065
00:48:55.360 --> 00:48:57.360
I was convinced he was a Christian.

1066
00:48:57.360 --> 00:48:59.880
I believed he loved the Lord.

1067
00:49:00.340 --> 00:49:06.620
And then after 10 years, um, his, his children that had moved out, I'll move

1068
00:49:06.620 --> 00:49:14.540
back home, five of them, and found out that they had altars and we're practicing

1069
00:49:14.540 --> 00:49:19.180
paganism and he was too, and it just broke my heart.

1070
00:49:19.540 --> 00:49:22.460
So now I, so I ended the relationship.

1071
00:49:22.460 --> 00:49:24.780
So you're saying that this dude was straight up worshiping

1072
00:49:24.780 --> 00:49:26.660
the devil with altars and stuff.

1073
00:49:27.440 --> 00:49:30.200
His children were, and he was okay with that.

1074
00:49:30.400 --> 00:49:31.320
Oh my Lord.

1075
00:49:32.040 --> 00:49:32.400
Okay.

1076
00:49:32.400 --> 00:49:37.000
Well, I guess that that's a really big God defended moment where God's like,

1077
00:49:37.080 --> 00:49:42.280
no, so I, so I have this guilt of I'm so stupid.

1078
00:49:42.280 --> 00:49:43.560
I'm so blind.

1079
00:49:43.840 --> 00:49:47.600
What if I make another big, huge mistake in a relationship?

1080
00:49:48.360 --> 00:49:49.480
Well, that's why you're here.

1081
00:49:50.600 --> 00:49:55.200
Because remember you're here because it's not about you just seeing, because

1082
00:49:55.220 --> 00:49:56.740
that's why they call it blind spots, Maddie.

1083
00:49:57.700 --> 00:49:58.060
Right.

1084
00:49:58.300 --> 00:50:00.020
But you have a whole sisterhood.

1085
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.080
around you. This is part of your God defense system. You have coaches, right? You have

1086
00:50:05.080 --> 00:50:10.240
Renee, you have Bethany, you have myself, you have your sisterhood. The only way that

1087
00:50:10.240 --> 00:50:15.320
that would ever happen, and of course you're God defended, is if you just decide to do

1088
00:50:15.320 --> 00:50:20.040
whatever you want to do and you don't let people hold you accountable. You don't come

1089
00:50:20.040 --> 00:50:23.840
into your groups, you don't post about who you're dating, you don't, you know, when you

1090
00:50:23.840 --> 00:50:29.360
feel like those little tugs and that little check in your heart, you don't post and say,

1091
00:50:29.360 --> 00:50:34.760
hey, what do you guys think about this? This is what he said, this is what I saw. You know,

1092
00:50:34.760 --> 00:50:39.120
that's the only way that that will happen, is if you decide to just recklessly go forward

1093
00:50:39.120 --> 00:50:43.800
because you don't want anyone telling you no, because having a guy is better than having

1094
00:50:43.800 --> 00:50:51.280
the right guy. And hopefully we're getting rid of that type of fear based, you know,

1095
00:50:51.280 --> 00:50:58.000
picking of men in this first thing, in this first, you know, part work.

1096
00:50:58.960 --> 00:51:02.440
Okay. Thank you for taking my question.

1097
00:51:03.160 --> 00:51:06.160
Is that hopefully that encourages you and makes you feel safe.

1098
00:51:06.680 --> 00:51:10.760
Yeah, I think so. It's just I had to air that out.

1099
00:51:14.400 --> 00:51:15.600
Thank you for your confession.

1100
00:51:15.600 --> 00:51:22.720
You why I'm here because it's been a year since it's been, it's, that's why my friend

1101
00:51:22.720 --> 00:51:28.480
recommended this group, because she's like, girl, you are hurting, you need healing.

1102
00:51:29.480 --> 00:51:34.160
Hey, look, I believe that God shows us and shows us and shows us I'm sure with that guy,

1103
00:51:34.160 --> 00:51:39.080
there were all kinds of little flags that you ignored. And then he's like, how about a pagan

1104
00:51:39.080 --> 00:51:44.640
altar? And you're like, Oh, can't can't ignore that one. Well, that one's like a big red flag

1105
00:51:44.640 --> 00:51:45.960
to smacking us in the face.

1106
00:51:45.960 --> 00:51:55.960
How that came about was I realized there was altars in his house was he had bought one of his

1107
00:51:55.960 --> 00:52:00.000
daughters a whole bunch of idols. And she's like, well, I'll take this upstairs and stick it on my

1108
00:52:00.000 --> 00:52:02.400
eye on my altar. And I'm like, say what?

1109
00:52:04.280 --> 00:52:05.120
Yeah, it's weird.

1110
00:52:07.080 --> 00:52:11.200
Once again, you're you're God defended, and you should rejoice in that.

1111
00:52:11.960 --> 00:52:13.920
Oh, thank you. I'm gonna tell you another thing.

1112
00:52:15.240 --> 00:52:22.400
That's definitely that's not even a red flag. That's a like run flag. Okay. But the massive red

1113
00:52:22.400 --> 00:52:25.720
flag happened before that when all five of his kids moved back home.

1114
00:52:26.760 --> 00:52:27.200
What?

1115
00:52:29.120 --> 00:52:38.880
And the final, the final straw, the final straw was when I was asked, and and why aren't you here

1116
00:52:38.880 --> 00:52:42.840
living with, with my dad taking care of all the bills?

1117
00:52:43.960 --> 00:52:49.920
Okay, yeah. So this was just one big red flag. So yes, I see how why you would be concerned,

1118
00:52:49.920 --> 00:52:54.440
because it sounds like you had to overlook a lot of stuff in order to stay in that relationship.

1119
00:52:54.760 --> 00:53:00.320
And but I promise you, if you show up in phase two and phase three, you post you let yourself be

1120
00:53:00.320 --> 00:53:05.440
known. And you don't like hide away and you know, meet someone and never introduce them to anyone

1121
00:53:05.440 --> 00:53:12.080
or never ask any questions. If you don't do that, you will get a lot of really wise counsel, you

1122
00:53:12.080 --> 00:53:17.080
guys, the Bible says that in a multitude of counsel, there is safety. And so we have built a

1123
00:53:17.080 --> 00:53:21.760
community where I can honestly tell you the only people that have found themselves in crazy

1124
00:53:21.760 --> 00:53:26.920
situations out of the almost 800 people that have gotten engaged and married already. And that

1125
00:53:26.920 --> 00:53:30.840
doesn't include the other, you know, probably 1000 that are in relationship headed towards

1126
00:53:30.840 --> 00:53:36.560
marriage right now, have been people who did exactly what I said, they came in here, they got

1127
00:53:36.560 --> 00:53:40.320
super excited about what they could have, they went out, they met someone, they ignored anything,

1128
00:53:40.320 --> 00:53:44.760
they said, Oh, this must be God since he they, since I met them right after I took the challenge

1129
00:53:44.760 --> 00:53:48.600
or right after I did my heartwork. And then they ran away, we never heard from them again, until

1130
00:53:48.600 --> 00:53:53.800
they're asking us to help them because they're getting divorced. Don't do that. You don't got to

1131
00:53:53.800 --> 00:54:00.440
do that. Right? Even when you get into a relationship, stay here, stay accountable until

1132
00:54:00.440 --> 00:54:04.680
you feel like it's solid enough, and then go into our symbol, save your marriage before it starts

1133
00:54:04.680 --> 00:54:10.120
class at six weeks long. And I promise you, it's a matchmaker and matchbreaker course, if you

1134
00:54:10.120 --> 00:54:15.240
shouldn't be with the person that course, that six weeks course, which is part of your community

1135
00:54:15.240 --> 00:54:19.960
here will break you up. Unless, like I said, you just want to ignore it. And you want to stay

1136
00:54:19.960 --> 00:54:24.800
somewhere just because you have a scarcity mentality, which I pray that if you don't rush

1137
00:54:24.800 --> 00:54:29.280
through the heartwork, you will leave this five weeks, no longer an orphan, no longer with any

1138
00:54:29.280 --> 00:54:35.360
poverty or scarcity mentality that you're aware of. But then when those things surface in other

1139
00:54:35.360 --> 00:54:42.160
ways, in phase two and phase three, you will have, you know, us there to help you to unpack what is

1140
00:54:42.160 --> 00:54:47.520
really rooted there. All right. All right, y'all. I appreciate you. I bless you in all the all the

1141
00:54:47.520 --> 00:54:53.040
weeks that you're in and heartwork, please, you know, keep going. Even when it hurts sometimes

1142
00:54:53.600 --> 00:54:58.560
to our sister who said that, you know, it hurts. Yeah, Crystal, it does. But it's the pain of

1143
00:54:58.560 --> 00:55:00.000
healing. Don't forget that.

1144
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:01.680
And we will see you guys.

1145
00:55:01.680 --> 00:55:04.140
Let's see, you're in phase one,

1146
00:55:04.140 --> 00:55:06.200
so I guess we'll see you on Supernatural Saturday.

1147
00:55:06.200 --> 00:55:09.440
And prayerfully, we will see you on the app

1148
00:55:09.440 --> 00:55:11.040
by the time you get to phase two,

1149
00:55:11.040 --> 00:55:13.360
because it will be approved this week.

1150
00:55:13.360 --> 00:55:15.960
Agree with me, and thank God for it.

1151
00:55:15.960 --> 00:55:17.560
I'll see you soon, bye everyone.