WEBVTT

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Good evening, gentlemen. How are you?

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Got Brett, Chris, and Paul here.

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Evening, David.

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Yeah. How are you all doing?

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We got everybody joining on here.

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We're going to give it just a few minutes just to make sure we got out of the field,

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wherever they were, trying to watch the eclipse today.

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And they made it to a safe place to get on a Zoom call tonight.

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How many of you saw the eclipse today?

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Anybody in the past? Yeah, Paul did.

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Yeah, pretty good.

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We had totality here in Cleveland.

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Who's that now?

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This is Chris. We had totality in Cleveland, so it was dark for four minutes.

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Um, Cleveland, Ohio?

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Yeah.

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Yeah, that's where you are, Chris.

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What's that?

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You're in Cleveland?

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Yeah, I'm trying to figure out why my video is not working.

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Oh, yeah, I don't.

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Why did I think that you were out west somewhere like Montana, Idaho, some?

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I know we probably said something about that before, but for some reason,

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I just had this perception you were out somewhere else.

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Like out in the mountains or something.

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No, it's not as flat here as Illinois, but it's pretty flat.

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I think I lost sound. Everybody still there?

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Yeah.

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Yeah, we can hear you, Paul.

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Okay.

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It's okay.

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Are we okay now?

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Yeah, I can hear you now.

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We could hear you before as well.

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Oh, yeah.

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Yeah, no, we caught it from our front porch, and there was just, like, a magical parting of the clouds just, you know, for a few moments to actually see it.

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We had cloud cover all day, and it was starting to break up a little bit, and we were like, oh, you know, we'll be able to see it maybe in a few minutes.

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And it just, you know, didn't really start breaking up as much, and then some of the clouds would come back, and this was, you know, like hours before it.

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And then right as I went out to do some errands and was driving back just to about 15, 20 minutes before, like, full eclipse, and I was like, oh, the sun's coming out a little bit.

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You know, like, you know, it's, I think we're going to have some clearing, you know, and then I got to the house, and it was still cloud cover, and I could see some of the, you know, like, first, you know, covering of it.

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And then, like, this huge big black cloud came through, and I'm like, covered everything up.

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I'm like, you got to be kidding me.

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And then right at the last moment for, I think, probably the minute and a half that it actually was fully eclipsed over my house, we had no clouds.

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It was a full break.

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That's great.

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I was amazed.

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And I'm wondering quite if, you know, if basically it was, if the rays are so intense at that moment.

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I don't know.

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I'm just thinking.

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I'm just like, I don't know if that's scientifically accurate or not, whether it, like, would just part the clouds anyway.

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I don't know if that's even true.

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But it was just really very strange.

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But we got a really good, beautiful look at full eclipse for, like, a minute and a half, right on my front porch.

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So it was, I didn't really have to drive anywhere or do anything.

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It was really cool.

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But you got a solid four minutes, huh?

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It was, like, I think it was about that.

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Wow.

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And it's, yeah, it is really interesting because it's, yeah.

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It's amazing how bright the sun is.

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It's amazing how bright the sun is.

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It's amazing how much your eyes compensate.

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And you can, like, you can kind of, like, feel that out because, like, it's hard to capture it on a camera because the camera shutter is, like, very relative.

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You have to put it in manual mode, but even that doesn't really capture it.

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Right.

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It's just really interesting.

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No, it's fascinating because right, like, at the moment of full eclipse, you know, I was looking at it.

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I had some binoculars.

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I had the safety glasses.

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And I was just trying to, I was a combination of a lot of things.

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It wasn't, like, just full-on looking at it for the whole time, you know.

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But so I just take little glimpses of it, you know.

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And.

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And it was really obvious at full eclipse, you know, what was going on and the darkness and all that

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That was just like really amazing and it was quiet

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It was as quiet as I've ever heard earth. Yeah, it was

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absolutely

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Amazing. I think every animal stopped in its track every

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Insect just did nothing and then of course

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Everybody that's around this area was just like out

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Doing nothing. So no cars were driving. No, I mean, it was just

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eerily silent

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really amazing and then um and

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That I taught the time we had to look at but at the point where there was like, you know, like mostly like 80%

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It's like the Sun came back out

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But then I looked again through the glasses

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And I could see that it was really still very much fully eclipsed. Yeah saying

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It's astounding how bright the Sun is. Yeah, exactly

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Realize it and it was just a little slumber

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That was exposed and

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That was so bright like as if the Sun was a full thing and it put to your natural eye

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But then if you look with glasses

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it was

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Still very much eclipsed both, you know, obviously both ways on both sides of the the full eclipse and I was just like that is

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amazingly cool

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And what was really neat is that one night when I looked at it through binoculars

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You can obviously see the halo and everything you could see all of the you know

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As much as you can see as far as like, you know, the the flares and all that kind of stuff

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But there was one there was one red spot or two red spots that like

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Almost looked like they were light, you know, like you see a tower light off into the distance those red lights

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You know, you'd see it like nighttime like on a tower like on a radio tower or something like that

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It was almost like bright red

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And it was just really interesting and fascinating all at the same time on the surface of the Sun

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Yeah

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Were you able to see the stars when it was complete covered I

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Didn't uh-huh. I was able to see Venus when we probably had like 98% or 99%

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Now it was just a few miles outside the total area

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When you get off for the kind of looking up off to the right you see

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Yeah, I think it was Venus just for that moment where it was completely covered. Okay, that's faded quick

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Wow, and I would not have known where to look for Venus, but I think I still had enough cloud cover around

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Yeah

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Situation where you know, it was still pretty pretty cloudy

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Relatively speaking in my area. So now but it was amazing. It's pretty cool. I wanted to definitely make sure I saw that

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so

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pretty cool guys, um

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Hey, we had to you know, we need some we need some prayer for Jackie. She

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Felt sick yesterday and was not feeling well for the last couple days kind of just thinking it was like

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She'd worked out the other day Thursday or Friday

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Thought she was muscle sore

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Had a headache, which she doesn't ever have headaches ever

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And but I said now you see you need to stretch, you know, stretch your back

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you know because you're just getting like a tension headache or whatever and

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And then that turned into a little bit of slight fever last night

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And then this morning we were supposed to have

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Another challenge of live challenge like we do

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Almost every month and that was supposed to start today and we had to postpone it one day

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We've never done that before in four years never postponed a live challenge

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Like that and we've been through a lot of

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technical and

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business and health and family and

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like environment issues

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All the time when we have our challenges like

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It's amazing when you try to live broadcast something and you like plan to do something

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And it's a live brought not just to like a zoom meeting like that's you know, it's kind of casual

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But when you're actually live broadcasting something

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Everything in the world goes wrong. I don't know why it just happens every dang time

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And it's your house right now

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Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's like the other thing last night. It's just like yeah, we actually did um

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Yeah, we actually did um that worked out

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a lot better it's um

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It's relatively drier here in austin. So I think

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Just the climate

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You know works for us in that way, but that's good. Oh my gosh, uh craziness ensues and so

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anyway

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She's still feeling pretty

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Miserable today. I think she's going to be a little bit better tomorrow, but

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So just be praying

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for her guys so appreciate that appreciate your prayers for her and uh but we're gonna get into

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boundaries tonight so um any questions you guys uh we're coming into we're trying to do a

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boundaries um a couple weeks here uh going through uh week one and week two uh right now so um any

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questions right now on the subject of boundaries kind of what we talked about last week

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a couple things to review um so boundaries um help us define who we are and and um

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and who we're not they also help us define what you own and what you don't own remember we talked

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about last week we talked about i i like to think of it from a man's perspective i like to think of

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it as a as a property now whether that property is you know an apartment size or whether that's a you

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know a plot of like a house in a neighborhood or a couple acres or like a huge big piece of land

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whatever whatever's just beyond i think what you think your capacity might be

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um i think is healthy to think about in other words you've been given

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a plot you've been given a lot you've heard that expression you've been given a lot in life

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you know this is sort of your place so this is your a lot in life all of those lots

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from person to person are very different in terms of size impact and so forth but it seems as though

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everyone is given a measure whatever that measure is okay and so i'm going to let you sort of

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imagine that but what i want you to imagine about that plot is not only it's it's physical

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it's mental it's emotional and it's spiritual okay so it's not just a physical piece of land

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but it's easy to think of a physical piece of land that represents your lot in life or your plot or

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your sphere of influence if you want to put it that way and it's very important i think to look

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to look at that and understand boundaries from that perspective

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and remember i asked the question last week you know okay so you've been given this plot

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say it is a piece of land the question is as a steward of what you've been given is is what are

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you going to do with it you know you're going to build a homestead on it you're going to like the

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song says you know put up a parking lot you're going to pave it and just pave it over just make

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a parking lot out of it and sell spaces you know are you just going to pave it over so you don't

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have to mow the lawn are you going to raise a crop on it all right i mean there's so many different

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things you can do with this space that you've been given right and i think that is kind of like our

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our lot in life we limit ourselves in so many ways because we think that oh we don't have

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enough we don't have there's too many boundaries um you know we're bound in by this thing or that

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thing we limit ourselves in this way when we don't take inventory of what we do have and go okay

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how am i going to take this and and what am i going to do with it how am i going to how am i

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going to make this productive it's very much in line with the parable of the talents right

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the three individuals that were given the talents were given different proportions of talents

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one was given one another was given five another was given ten and there are two couple different

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variables of the story in in the gospels but they were all given different amounts right

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and what the first two did with it the ten and the five the master rewarded according to what

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they did with what they had and then the last one didn't do anything remember and was afraid

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that the master was hard didn't do anything with it hit it and returned this very same talent to

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the master and the master didn't just say oh well you know you don't get anything it hey he actually

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called him a wicked servant very interesting and insightful what goes on in that parable there

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And one of the lessons, there's many different lessons

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to learn from that parable.

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One of the lessons is that not only do you not

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want to just not do something with what you've been given,

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you want to make sure that you multiply it

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and your lot or your influence or your space

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has been given to you to make it productive.

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So that's an invitation.

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That's not a burden.

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It should not be a burden.

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As a man, that should be an invitation for you to say,

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hey, you've been given this to do something with.

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And a lot of guys, unfortunately,

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do look at that as burdensome.

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They look at it as, oh, this is something that I don't want.

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It's either too much, too little.

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It's not the right plot, this and that.

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And it's kind of one of those things

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that's where you don't really get to decide a lot what

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the plot is, where it is, and so forth.

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You're just given it.

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You're given a set of abilities and talents and skills,

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and you're awarded a certain place where you were born,

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a place that you were raised.

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A lot of those variables you have no choice in, right?

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The color of your skin, your ethnicity, your background,

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your biological history.

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You don't have any say on what any of that is.

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You're given this as your lot.

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And what I'm here to encourage you today

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is that your lot is really special, really good.

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And it is definitely something that you

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can make into something else.

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And many people have, right?

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We know tons of examples of people

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that have taken what they've been given.

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What does the old adage say?

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When you're given lemons, you make lemonade,

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all that kind of stuff, right?

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So this is the kind of concept I want to get into your head.

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We talked a little bit even about contracts,

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like, for instance, contracts are a form of boundaries.

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So this is a way to easily understand

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what do contracts do for us?

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They define the relationship.

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They define who's going to do what in the relationship.

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They define where the lines are crossed

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as far as the financial obligations.

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So that if you have difficulty in the business transaction

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that the contract is outlining, it's easy to solve the problem

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because you just go back to the contract

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and you say, here's the boundary.

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Here's what you were supposed to do.

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Here was I was supposed to do.

242
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And this makes it easier to resolve difficulties

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when you have them.

244
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Instead of arguing over things that he said,

245
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she said, whatever, right?

246
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Contracts give you a sense of definition.

247
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So boundaries define who we are, who we're not.

248
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They define what we own, what we don't own.

249
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They find what you like and what you don't like.

250
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They protect what's important to you

251
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and who holds value to you and where you will put

252
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your time and your resources.

253
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So this is kind of like what I was saying in relationship.

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If you look at your, like, I look at my marriage

255
00:18:38.160 --> 00:18:41.400
as I have these boundaries.

256
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And I don't try to micro control my wife

257
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and what she can and can't do.

258
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Now you might imagine like, oh my gosh,

259
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you're married to Jackie.

260
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Like how could you, I mean,

261
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how could she be held down and controlled?

262
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Well, she's not easily, I tell you that.

263
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But I will tell you that I don't sit there

264
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and try to make my life micro focused

265
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on all the little areas where she is on my property.

266
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I just make sure that the boundaries,

267
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you see what I'm doing up at the screen here.

268
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I'm just making sure that the boundaries are established.

269
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That's where my responsibility lies.

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What she does in all of this space,

271
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all of this through the relationship is all hers.

272
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It's all her ability.

273
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We share the space.

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It's all her to make beautiful, to make a garden,

275
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to make a home, to make a family,

276
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to establish relationships, to invite people in

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and help people go out.

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You see how in relationship,

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especially marriage relationship,

280
00:19:47.760 --> 00:19:50.000
the boundaries are established.

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That's my job spiritually, emotionally,

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naturally, physically.

283
00:19:55.880 --> 00:19:58.400
We all understand you have a plot of land.

284
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Someone walks on your land.

285
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:02.680
you know, and you're like defending your land.

286
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That's, we easily get that as men.

287
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But we also have to understand

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that we are responsible emotionally

289
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and spiritually for these boundaries, right?

290
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That's where our domain lies, is those boundaries.

291
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And inside of that boundaries,

292
00:20:20.280 --> 00:20:23.680
there's a lot of things for us to do as a family

293
00:20:23.680 --> 00:20:27.400
and as husband and wife and in our relationship.

294
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A lot of corners to go to, a lot of places to go.

295
00:20:30.040 --> 00:20:32.640
The same thing, I feel like what God gives us,

296
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God gives us, I've often described this to my students

297
00:20:37.680 --> 00:20:40.880
as God gives you a box and it's a pretty big box.

298
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He doesn't give you a box, he gives you a box.

299
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And in that box, there's a lot of things you can do.

300
00:20:48.640 --> 00:20:50.320
You know, a lot of young people are always asking things

301
00:20:50.320 --> 00:20:52.480
like, well, you know, what should I do?

302
00:20:52.480 --> 00:20:55.600
And what should I, you know, they get asked the question

303
00:20:55.600 --> 00:20:57.160
like, what do you wanna be when you grow up?

304
00:20:57.920 --> 00:21:00.280
And what do you feel like you wanna do with your life?

305
00:21:00.280 --> 00:21:01.400
And good Christian kids are like,

306
00:21:01.400 --> 00:21:03.640
oh, I just wanna do what God wants me to do.

307
00:21:03.640 --> 00:21:07.620
Like, yeah, God gave you a box with a big open space in it.

308
00:21:07.620 --> 00:21:09.000
You need to fill it with stuff.

309
00:21:09.000 --> 00:21:13.460
You need to like make something happen with that space

310
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rather than trying to find out some specific thing

311
00:21:15.920 --> 00:21:17.680
that's so difficult to figure out,

312
00:21:17.680 --> 00:21:19.720
that it's a mystery and it's so hidden.

313
00:21:19.720 --> 00:21:23.840
And it's like, oh my gosh, this is so difficult, right?

314
00:21:23.840 --> 00:21:25.280
He gives you boundaries.

315
00:21:25.280 --> 00:21:28.240
He said, okay, now go do this.

316
00:21:29.660 --> 00:21:30.640
What does he tell Adam?

317
00:21:30.640 --> 00:21:34.040
The same thing, gave him a boundary, gave him a garden.

318
00:21:34.040 --> 00:21:34.880
Right?

319
00:21:34.880 --> 00:21:36.360
He didn't give him the entire world,

320
00:21:36.360 --> 00:21:38.040
he gave him a space on the world.

321
00:21:40.280 --> 00:21:41.720
Pay attention to that.

322
00:21:41.720 --> 00:21:43.680
He gave him a space on the world.

323
00:21:45.200 --> 00:21:47.120
And he said, what?

324
00:21:47.120 --> 00:21:49.000
Be fruitful and multiply.

325
00:21:50.560 --> 00:21:51.400
Right?

326
00:21:52.240 --> 00:21:56.200
Go and replenish the earth

327
00:21:57.560 --> 00:21:59.680
and reproduce like after like.

328
00:22:00.640 --> 00:22:02.160
And part of the stuff he was doing

329
00:22:02.160 --> 00:22:04.640
in terms of the relationship,

330
00:22:05.520 --> 00:22:10.520
I think it's interesting that God saw Adam doing his thing

331
00:22:13.360 --> 00:22:15.920
prior to Eve being there.

332
00:22:15.920 --> 00:22:17.440
What was Adam doing?

333
00:22:17.440 --> 00:22:18.540
Does anybody remember?

334
00:22:19.540 --> 00:22:21.540
Naming animals.

335
00:22:21.540 --> 00:22:22.660
Naming animals.

336
00:22:22.660 --> 00:22:26.860
He was within the boundaries of his domain

337
00:22:26.860 --> 00:22:28.620
and he was taking care of business.

338
00:22:29.500 --> 00:22:32.980
He wasn't lying on the couch.

339
00:22:32.980 --> 00:22:37.340
He wasn't like, you know, just chilling out, doing nothing.

340
00:22:37.340 --> 00:22:40.820
He wasn't wondering where his spirit mate was.

341
00:22:40.820 --> 00:22:45.820
He was actively doing what it was set before him to do.

342
00:22:46.660 --> 00:22:49.660
He was busy about his actual purpose.

343
00:22:50.580 --> 00:22:53.900
And noticed in that moment,

344
00:22:54.980 --> 00:22:56.820
that's when God looked at that situation,

345
00:22:56.820 --> 00:22:58.980
he said, this is not good.

346
00:22:59.940 --> 00:23:00.780
I'm like, what?

347
00:23:00.780 --> 00:23:02.300
Wait a minute.

348
00:23:02.300 --> 00:23:07.300
Like, it is perceived, if you don't hear the story right,

349
00:23:09.460 --> 00:23:11.620
that when God said, this is not good,

350
00:23:11.620 --> 00:23:14.500
that he saw Adam like goofing off.

351
00:23:15.180 --> 00:23:20.220
Adam being, you know, not who he was supposed to be.

352
00:23:20.220 --> 00:23:23.860
Adam just sort of like being out on left field somewhere,

353
00:23:23.860 --> 00:23:25.780
just not paying attention.

354
00:23:25.780 --> 00:23:27.860
And God's like, oh, this is not good.

355
00:23:27.860 --> 00:23:29.340
I got to give this guy a woman.

356
00:23:29.340 --> 00:23:30.940
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

357
00:23:30.940 --> 00:23:32.660
That's not what happened.

358
00:23:33.940 --> 00:23:35.620
This is a revelation, guys.

359
00:23:37.420 --> 00:23:42.060
Adam was doing what he was created to do.

360
00:23:42.060 --> 00:23:45.420
He was literally fulfilling his purpose

361
00:23:45.420 --> 00:23:47.220
as he knew it in the moment,

362
00:23:47.220 --> 00:23:50.580
in his field of favor, in his space, in his domain.

363
00:23:51.900 --> 00:23:56.180
And God said, yeah, I got to give this guy a wife.

364
00:23:56.180 --> 00:24:01.180
I got to separate the genders and brought her out of him

365
00:24:02.660 --> 00:24:05.300
and created female out of the male

366
00:24:06.420 --> 00:24:11.420
and helped them to understand the beauty of relationship

367
00:24:11.580 --> 00:24:13.420
by the give and the take

368
00:24:13.420 --> 00:24:15.700
of the female and male relationship.

369
00:24:17.940 --> 00:24:21.500
And he made it in such a way

370
00:24:21.500 --> 00:24:24.060
that they would have to come together

371
00:24:24.060 --> 00:24:26.940
in order to produce, in order to recreate,

372
00:24:26.940 --> 00:24:30.660
in order to accomplish the initial mission,

373
00:24:30.660 --> 00:24:31.500
which was what?

374
00:24:31.500 --> 00:24:33.060
To be fruitful and multiply.

375
00:24:35.060 --> 00:24:36.780
So powerful, this understanding,

376
00:24:36.780 --> 00:24:40.260
when we start looking at it in terms of relationship

377
00:24:40.300 --> 00:24:42.820
and boundaries and purpose, right?

378
00:24:44.220 --> 00:24:49.220
So boundaries also help us

379
00:24:50.700 --> 00:24:54.420
to solve any areas of confusion, right?

380
00:24:55.420 --> 00:24:57.740
Like I talked about in contracts.

381
00:24:57.740 --> 00:25:00.060
Boundaries don't just.

382
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.680
help you keep the bad out, they also help you keep the good in, right?

383
00:25:07.520 --> 00:25:11.280
When you're a child, you know, like you're five years old, your parents were like,

384
00:25:11.280 --> 00:25:15.840
don't run out on the street. What was the boundary? Like the sidewalk was probably the boundary,

385
00:25:15.840 --> 00:25:23.520
right? It was keeping the good things in and keeping the enemy out. Okay. Any questions up

386
00:25:23.520 --> 00:25:28.320
until this point? Anything that we want to sort of highlight? Anything that's coming to mind

387
00:25:28.320 --> 00:25:35.200
right now, guys? Can I jump in? Comments. So, you know, like as you're talking about Adam being in

388
00:25:35.200 --> 00:25:40.560
his created place, right? Like, you know, he was doing what he was supposed to do. And how often,

389
00:25:40.560 --> 00:25:44.240
like, there's a verse, seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and everything else will be

390
00:25:44.240 --> 00:25:49.440
added unto you. Like, you know, I don't know how many times God's told me, you worry about my stuff,

391
00:25:49.440 --> 00:25:53.840
I'll worry about your stuff, right? And I think too often we're like, what about this? What about

392
00:25:53.840 --> 00:25:58.000
that? It's like, no, I'm just going to keep doing what you tell me to do. And then let you bring

393
00:25:58.000 --> 00:26:03.040
along or guide me to, I mean, if you're moving where he's telling you, he's going to be able

394
00:26:03.040 --> 00:26:08.400
to guide you a lot easier than, you know, delivering it through the FedEx lady or something.

395
00:26:08.400 --> 00:26:13.760
I don't know. Yeah. Yes, that's true. True, true. I like that.

396
00:26:16.400 --> 00:26:25.360
Anything, anybody else? We're right in the middle of almost identical discussions and set in.

397
00:26:26.160 --> 00:26:31.360
I think what's happening is we're about to be in discussions where we're actually

398
00:26:32.960 --> 00:26:36.640
setting up and negotiating some of those boundaries and it's around,

399
00:26:37.440 --> 00:26:44.160
you know, each of our callings, purpose, and our autonomy also at the same time.

400
00:26:45.120 --> 00:26:52.800
And it's, boy, that's, you know, thinking about on these terms, it's really difficult for me

401
00:26:52.800 --> 00:27:01.520
because it's like, so I have to ask her to give up some precious things in her life for me.

402
00:27:03.440 --> 00:27:13.520
You know, who am I to do that? I know that's the nature of it somehow, but you

403
00:27:14.960 --> 00:27:21.200
kind of smell what I'm stepping in. What are the things you feel like she has to give up for you?

404
00:27:21.760 --> 00:27:28.880
Well, different states and towns. If when either of us is moving, we're talking,

405
00:27:29.680 --> 00:27:39.200
you know, everything precious relationships, you know, as far as our missions and our purpose

406
00:27:39.600 --> 00:27:54.240
for our design under the Lord, it's astounding how they fit and how they contrast and fill each

407
00:27:54.240 --> 00:28:04.960
other out. But, you know, some of those things are, I don't know, who am I to even ask?

408
00:28:04.960 --> 00:28:11.280
Who am I to even ask? Yeah. Now, in that regard, those are,

409
00:28:13.040 --> 00:28:20.160
I would say, one-time issues that need to be worked out. Like, you know, if you're coming

410
00:28:20.160 --> 00:28:24.000
into a relationship with someone and someone lives here, now someone else lives there,

411
00:28:25.120 --> 00:28:31.200
and you're having to come to terms with who's going to move, who's going to move where,

412
00:28:31.200 --> 00:28:35.840
and how is that logistically going to work? Obviously, there's things that are attached

413
00:28:35.840 --> 00:28:43.520
to that relationships, other relationships, emotions, history, you know, experiences,

414
00:28:43.520 --> 00:28:48.720
and so forth. Typically, someone in the relationship is going to relent one way or the

415
00:28:48.720 --> 00:28:57.120
other, and usually comes down to very logistical, practical, and even financial reasons. Like, hey,

416
00:28:57.760 --> 00:29:03.680
I have a house. You don't. Let's move into the house that I own or that I'm, you know,

417
00:29:03.680 --> 00:29:12.160
having property, you know. Or I have a job that is very career-oriented. I make more

418
00:29:12.160 --> 00:29:16.560
money than you do, and that's just, you know, and that could be man or woman.

419
00:29:18.560 --> 00:29:25.520
Or the other thing is other family obligations. I have, like, if your children are still school

420
00:29:25.520 --> 00:29:31.440
age, there might be a responsibility to school-age children that are still in school,

421
00:29:31.440 --> 00:29:37.440
and so, therefore, I can't leave, literally, even by court order because maybe there's a

422
00:29:37.440 --> 00:29:42.880
divorce decree that says, you know, the children have to be shared parenting, this kind of stuff.

423
00:29:42.880 --> 00:29:49.360
So, those are those issues. Or even in the case of adult children or family that's around, it

424
00:29:49.360 --> 00:29:53.360
might be like, I have no family, so I can go anywhere, or somebody that has a lot of, you

425
00:29:53.360 --> 00:29:57.360
know, I'm saying. So, typically, those are resolved in that way, and obviously, you're going

426
00:29:57.360 --> 00:29:59.840
to come down on one side or the other.

427
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:13.680
But at the same time, I feel like typically the man

428
00:30:13.680 --> 00:30:17.560
keeps the boundaries simple.

429
00:30:17.560 --> 00:30:22.840
And I feel like that females keep their boundaries

430
00:30:22.840 --> 00:30:27.880
more complicated, as a general rule of thumb.

431
00:30:27.880 --> 00:30:33.200
So I, in my relationship, just as the way I am,

432
00:30:33.200 --> 00:30:37.880
I would try to probably be as compliant as possible

433
00:30:37.880 --> 00:30:41.680
as the man, in terms of the flexibility,

434
00:30:41.680 --> 00:30:43.480
up until the point of where I can't.

435
00:30:43.480 --> 00:30:46.280
Like, literally, if I had a shared parenting agreement,

436
00:30:46.280 --> 00:30:49.040
that was one of the things why we stayed in Ohio

437
00:30:49.040 --> 00:30:49.840
as long as we did.

438
00:30:49.840 --> 00:30:51.840
We both had a shared parenting situation

439
00:30:51.840 --> 00:30:55.680
where we fulfilled that obligation with our children

440
00:30:55.680 --> 00:30:58.360
and our other previous spouses.

441
00:30:58.360 --> 00:31:02.160
And we literally could not move and, in a lot of ways,

442
00:31:02.160 --> 00:31:06.040
move on with our life in the way we wanted to,

443
00:31:06.040 --> 00:31:08.800
because of just deciding to blend our family

444
00:31:08.800 --> 00:31:10.880
and raise our children.

445
00:31:10.880 --> 00:31:14.400
So it wasn't until after our youngest,

446
00:31:14.400 --> 00:31:18.120
and she actually graduated high school a year early,

447
00:31:18.120 --> 00:31:21.760
that we really set out on really, really

448
00:31:21.760 --> 00:31:24.120
wrapping our arms and our hearts and our minds

449
00:31:24.120 --> 00:31:29.040
around the things that we do now with our lives.

450
00:31:29.040 --> 00:31:32.000
So I'm not saying there's a season of waiting,

451
00:31:32.000 --> 00:31:34.320
but sometimes there are things in your life that are like,

452
00:31:34.320 --> 00:31:37.520
OK, this kind of has to be completed first.

453
00:31:37.520 --> 00:31:41.520
If that's not those things, it's a matter

454
00:31:41.520 --> 00:31:42.600
of just the give and take.

455
00:31:42.600 --> 00:31:47.720
But I feel like, in general, that the male responsibility

456
00:31:47.720 --> 00:31:50.680
of going with the whole boundaries thing,

457
00:31:50.680 --> 00:31:52.760
I feel like that's very simplistic.

458
00:31:52.760 --> 00:31:56.440
It's like a very basic structure, simple boundaries,

459
00:31:56.440 --> 00:32:02.360
and flexibility, whereas females will have a tendency

460
00:32:02.360 --> 00:32:04.600
to have a lot of little boundaries,

461
00:32:04.600 --> 00:32:07.000
a lot of little regions within this bigger

462
00:32:07.000 --> 00:32:09.840
boundary of the space.

463
00:32:09.840 --> 00:32:11.800
I don't know if that helps to make any sense,

464
00:32:11.800 --> 00:32:15.160
but I kind of think that's kind of where the roles go.

465
00:32:15.160 --> 00:32:16.880
Does that make sense?

466
00:32:16.880 --> 00:32:17.640
It does.

467
00:32:17.640 --> 00:32:20.400
It just feels like this whole discussion is really

468
00:32:20.400 --> 00:32:24.560
about personal autonomy, hers and mine.

469
00:32:24.560 --> 00:32:28.200
And that feels like a boundaries discussion,

470
00:32:28.200 --> 00:32:31.880
but I'm not sure if it is.

471
00:32:31.880 --> 00:32:33.080
Yeah.

472
00:32:33.080 --> 00:32:34.960
Well, I mean, I think there's part

473
00:32:34.960 --> 00:32:36.920
of the initial logistics and relationship

474
00:32:36.920 --> 00:32:38.800
that need to be worked out.

475
00:32:38.800 --> 00:32:41.200
And those usually, sometimes they take some time,

476
00:32:41.200 --> 00:32:43.520
and maybe it's obviously serious.

477
00:32:43.520 --> 00:32:45.760
It's important to really take those things seriously

478
00:32:45.760 --> 00:32:48.360
and make some good decisions the best you can.

479
00:32:48.360 --> 00:32:52.240
But then after that, I think as you establish

480
00:32:52.240 --> 00:32:54.280
the relationship, wherever that relationship is

481
00:32:54.280 --> 00:32:56.800
going to be established, and I'm even

482
00:32:56.800 --> 00:32:59.720
talking about the physical homestead, wherever that is,

483
00:32:59.720 --> 00:33:01.760
and you're finally together, then

484
00:33:01.760 --> 00:33:07.720
you're also there embarking upon the relational boundaries

485
00:33:07.720 --> 00:33:12.600
of how your relationship works with one another.

486
00:33:12.600 --> 00:33:14.560
And tonight, we're going to talk about some

487
00:33:14.560 --> 00:33:17.440
of the problems of boundaries.

488
00:33:17.440 --> 00:33:19.480
And maybe this will illuminate some things here.

489
00:33:25.120 --> 00:33:29.840
There's a couple routes to some of the problems

490
00:33:29.840 --> 00:33:31.800
within boundaries.

491
00:33:31.800 --> 00:33:33.680
And if you want to write these down,

492
00:33:33.680 --> 00:33:37.480
these are four areas where there's usually,

493
00:33:37.480 --> 00:33:41.400
this is kind of where when you're having boundary issues,

494
00:33:41.400 --> 00:33:44.400
this is where they come from.

495
00:33:44.440 --> 00:33:49.520
They come from a compliant standpoint,

496
00:33:49.520 --> 00:33:56.400
an avoidant standpoint, a controller standpoint,

497
00:33:56.400 --> 00:33:58.800
and a non-responsive standpoint.

498
00:34:04.600 --> 00:34:12.560
So when you have the problem of a compliant situation,

499
00:34:12.560 --> 00:34:18.440
this is where a person or both persons in a relationship

500
00:34:18.440 --> 00:34:22.320
are having trouble saying yes.

501
00:34:22.320 --> 00:34:25.800
They have a tendency to say yes to bad things.

502
00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:34.159
They allow things that aren't healthy,

503
00:34:34.159 --> 00:34:40.639
aren't productive, that can cause damage or even harm

504
00:34:40.639 --> 00:34:42.360
in the relationship.

505
00:34:42.400 --> 00:34:48.480
And they tolerate or say yes to those things in relationship.

506
00:34:48.480 --> 00:34:49.880
Did you have a question, Chris?

507
00:34:49.880 --> 00:34:51.679
I was just going to say, would you say,

508
00:34:51.679 --> 00:34:54.639
I mean, if we're both Christians seeking God,

509
00:34:54.639 --> 00:34:58.040
is the situation you just described maybe

510
00:34:58.040 --> 00:34:59.480
a little bit extreme?

511
00:34:59.480 --> 00:35:01.320
Maybe is it?

512
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:08.320
just we don't speak up for certain things that we know are actually part of who we are?

513
00:35:09.200 --> 00:35:13.520
Like if we just, if we're not in the realm of sin, if we're in that box that God gave us,

514
00:35:15.040 --> 00:35:22.000
like we're, you know, like could you also say, could you go beyond compliant just being sin?

515
00:35:22.000 --> 00:35:27.840
Could it be more like, I'm good, I just like ignore these issues that really get under my

516
00:35:27.840 --> 00:35:32.800
skin, never bring them up, never discuss them, until finally you just kind of pop

517
00:35:32.800 --> 00:35:36.880
because you're like, I've always given, I've never, I've given up who I am.

518
00:35:38.160 --> 00:35:43.680
Yeah, so what I, in this discussion of boundaries, it's very important to

519
00:35:44.880 --> 00:35:52.320
really step aside from like the area of sin in terms of outright spiritual

520
00:35:52.320 --> 00:36:03.760
righteous disobedience. This really has more to do with human personality traits, behaviors,

521
00:36:06.080 --> 00:36:13.840
you know, trends we have, habits that we have, that when we're coming into relationship that

522
00:36:13.840 --> 00:36:19.280
we're not aware of. So I would say somebody, for instance, who's compliant or really with any of

523
00:36:19.280 --> 00:36:26.320
these problems, a lot of individuals are not aware that this is a problem. Like for instance,

524
00:36:27.440 --> 00:36:32.720
I'm trying to think of an example, maybe one will come to me, but I know that there have been things

525
00:36:32.720 --> 00:36:39.680
where when I got into relationship with Jackie, that prior to relationship with her, this whatever

526
00:36:39.680 --> 00:36:46.960
thing, it's no big deal. You know, it's like, what, what's the big deal? You know, like it's,

527
00:36:47.840 --> 00:36:52.400
it wasn't sin. It wasn't like a, you know, a righteous thing. It was just like, I just do it

528
00:36:52.400 --> 00:36:58.080
this way. Like I make the bed this way or whatever. Like, what's the big deal? Like to her, now that

529
00:36:58.080 --> 00:37:04.560
I'm in relationship with her, all of a sudden, for some reason, I'm allowing something or I'm okay

530
00:37:04.560 --> 00:37:12.240
with something that she thinks is like, oh, this is, this is not good. Not the right way. Yeah.

531
00:37:12.240 --> 00:37:17.920
You know, that's just not, that's not the way I do it. It can be as simple as that.

532
00:37:17.920 --> 00:37:24.400
Right. For some reason, I thought you specifically took it towards the sin perspective. And I was

533
00:37:24.400 --> 00:37:30.240
like, wait a second. Isn't it this other stuff? I understand better. Yeah. It's really outside of

534
00:37:30.240 --> 00:37:34.320
the realm of sin. And we're going to say like lots of grace. We're not going to really focus

535
00:37:34.320 --> 00:37:38.720
on like, you know, who did what, whatever. And you like, you know, you betrayed me and all that.

536
00:37:38.720 --> 00:37:43.040
It's really just more like in the relational sense of like two people coming together,

537
00:37:43.040 --> 00:37:48.480
getting along. It's just like put it in that terms. So you've got the compliant, the avoidant

538
00:37:50.640 --> 00:38:01.920
is a problem of saying no to good. Okay. This is, this is someone who is not willing to take,

539
00:38:02.800 --> 00:38:11.520
you know, personal responsibility for, you know, their, their level of care or,

540
00:38:13.360 --> 00:38:21.040
or stepping into something that is a wellbeing issue for them mentally, physically, spiritually.

541
00:38:22.480 --> 00:38:30.080
Someone like, you know, guys, I think have tendency to do this sometime. Maybe not on this

542
00:38:30.080 --> 00:38:39.360
call, but I mean, men in general, they're not as sometimes moving towards spirituality or moving

543
00:38:39.360 --> 00:38:46.720
towards truth lots of times more than, than females, you know, females are like, you know,

544
00:38:46.720 --> 00:38:50.880
especially in a church culture, you have a lot of females. They're like, they're after it. They're

545
00:38:50.880 --> 00:38:54.560
like in prayer, they're loving it. They're like all about it. You know, they're like, oh yeah,

546
00:38:54.560 --> 00:38:59.760
just tell me, tell me all the things I'm doing terrible. Let me just repent. And they're just

547
00:38:59.760 --> 00:39:03.680
all about this spiritual, spiritual, spiritual, spiritual. And they're like, hold on, hold on,

548
00:39:03.680 --> 00:39:08.320
hold on, hold on. Like, you're just too much all up in my business. Like, just leave me alone.

549
00:39:08.320 --> 00:39:14.160
Like, just like, you know, like, let me put it like stiff arm to that, you know? And so sometimes

550
00:39:14.800 --> 00:39:22.640
men have a tendency to sort of like be stiff arming spiritual development. Whereas women are

551
00:39:22.640 --> 00:39:28.240
just like, oh, you know, just give it to me all day long. Now that's an overgeneralization and

552
00:39:28.240 --> 00:39:33.520
a very huge stereotype, but it is, you do see it play out. So I'm just kind of giving you some

553
00:39:33.520 --> 00:39:40.240
examples here. Voidant, saying no to good. The controller in a boundary situation or relational

554
00:39:40.240 --> 00:39:49.200
crossing of a boundary situation, a controller is one who was not hearing the no

555
00:39:50.800 --> 00:39:57.040
and not respectful of others' boundaries. So in other words, when you're in relationship

556
00:39:57.040 --> 00:39:59.920
with someone and they're like, yeah, that crossed.

557
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.880
is my boundary. Like I don't, I don't enjoy that. I don't like

558
00:40:02.880 --> 00:40:07.280
that. I don't, um, you know, particularly like it when you

559
00:40:07.280 --> 00:40:10.880
just leave your clothes laying around all over the house. It's

560
00:40:10.880 --> 00:40:13.720
not good for our relationship. And you're like, what's the big

561
00:40:13.720 --> 00:40:17.120
deal? Like, is this a problem? I mean, I didn't have this

562
00:40:17.120 --> 00:40:19.480
problem before I met you. But now all of a sudden I met you

563
00:40:19.480 --> 00:40:22.120
and I can't leave my clothes laying around. And she's like,

564
00:40:22.120 --> 00:40:27.400
yeah, it's a problem. And you're not continuing to hear this. And

565
00:40:27.400 --> 00:40:30.760
you're, you know, you're not respecting the boundary that's

566
00:40:30.760 --> 00:40:33.240
being laid out before you like as and we don't, you know, I

567
00:40:33.240 --> 00:40:38.080
don't, you know, your wife comes into like, I don't keep an

568
00:40:38.560 --> 00:40:44.720
untidy house. You know, I keep it, you know, picked up, I keep

569
00:40:44.720 --> 00:40:48.120
it together and so forth. And you're like, okay. But if you're

570
00:40:48.120 --> 00:40:51.600
not hearing that, and if you're not respecting that boundary, now

571
00:40:51.600 --> 00:40:57.080
you're controlling the situation by allowing your debris to just

572
00:40:57.080 --> 00:41:02.440
rule, rule the situation. Now, that's a very simple, sort of

573
00:41:02.440 --> 00:41:07.280
like, you know, not big deal sort of situation example that

574
00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:11.520
I'm making. But you can imagine how, when you're not hearing

575
00:41:11.520 --> 00:41:18.040
somebody else's no, like, take it all the way to a really toxic

576
00:41:18.040 --> 00:41:22.560
situation, where say, you're in a dating situation, or like, we

577
00:41:22.560 --> 00:41:25.160
hear this all the time. Hopefully not in Christian

578
00:41:25.160 --> 00:41:30.240
circles that I'm probably happens. But if somebody is, is

579
00:41:30.280 --> 00:41:35.840
pushing themselves on you, like in a sexual way, and you're not

580
00:41:35.840 --> 00:41:38.520
hearing no, and you're not respecting their boundaries,

581
00:41:39.040 --> 00:41:43.080
you're a controller, right? You're fulfilling a controlling

582
00:41:43.080 --> 00:41:46.880
personality. While you're trampling those boundaries,

583
00:41:46.920 --> 00:41:52.040
okay? That's the controller. So these are roots of boundary

584
00:41:52.040 --> 00:41:55.320
issues. So you got the compliant, you got the avoidant,

585
00:41:55.320 --> 00:41:58.560
you got the controller, and then you have the non responsive.

586
00:41:59.400 --> 00:42:06.560
This is this person that is not hearing the yes. Or they're not

587
00:42:06.600 --> 00:42:13.680
receiving or understanding of others boundaries. They're not,

588
00:42:14.160 --> 00:42:21.120
they're not reciprocating to the invitation to come closer to to

589
00:42:22.600 --> 00:42:29.200
to be invited into the better. You know, they're just non

590
00:42:29.200 --> 00:42:36.760
responsive, they're couch potatoing their life. Right? This

591
00:42:36.760 --> 00:42:51.400
is the individual who is, let's say they're, they're just really

592
00:42:51.400 --> 00:42:55.640
kind of just being insensitive. They're being uncompassionate.

593
00:42:58.080 --> 00:43:03.240
Right? There are these are also the individuals that are

594
00:43:03.240 --> 00:43:11.760
critical. Like, oh, you know, that's, you know, why would you

595
00:43:11.760 --> 00:43:14.240
want to do that? You know, I was just kind of downplaying

596
00:43:14.240 --> 00:43:20.120
everything, criticizing everything. Right? Just kind of

597
00:43:20.120 --> 00:43:23.760
like putting things down, because they either don't want

598
00:43:23.760 --> 00:43:28.760
to take responsibility, or they don't want to, they don't want

599
00:43:28.760 --> 00:43:32.960
to come into like a better way. They're just always they don't

600
00:43:32.960 --> 00:43:36.400
have any better ideas. They're just like your ideas. Not good

601
00:43:36.400 --> 00:43:42.640
either. Make sense? Yeah. So that's the that's a non

602
00:43:42.640 --> 00:44:01.080
responsive person. And so in this, when the when the person

603
00:44:01.080 --> 00:44:15.440
that says they can't say no, the compliant person, usually the

604
00:44:15.440 --> 00:44:19.200
reason where they're feeling what they're going through, is

605
00:44:19.200 --> 00:44:24.080
they're feeling guilty and controlled by others. So when

606
00:44:24.080 --> 00:44:29.840
you're compliant, the reason that you're usually compliant is

607
00:44:30.080 --> 00:44:33.400
because you're feeling overwhelmed, you're feeling

608
00:44:33.400 --> 00:44:38.000
controlled by others, or you feel guilty about how you've run

609
00:44:38.000 --> 00:44:41.440
your life. So you just sort of like you can't set boundaries,

610
00:44:41.440 --> 00:44:44.680
you just kind of go with whatever's happening. You can't

611
00:44:44.680 --> 00:44:53.680
say no to whatever's being pitched to you. And the person

612
00:44:53.680 --> 00:44:58.120
that can't say or can't hear no, the controller

613
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:02.700
Typically, they're aggressive or manipulative,

614
00:45:03.640 --> 00:45:07.080
and they're violating the boundaries of others.

615
00:45:07.080 --> 00:45:08.680
That's how it sort of comes out.

616
00:45:11.320 --> 00:45:14.540
They can't hear no because of whatever frustration

617
00:45:14.540 --> 00:45:15.800
that is setting them off.

618
00:45:15.800 --> 00:45:17.320
Go ahead, Chris.

619
00:45:17.320 --> 00:45:21.680
Would you say that sometimes that controlling persona

620
00:45:21.680 --> 00:45:23.320
even comes from a good heart?

621
00:45:24.760 --> 00:45:28.120
Is that like, they like really want,

622
00:45:28.120 --> 00:45:30.560
they really think that they have something

623
00:45:30.560 --> 00:45:32.520
that is in your best interest.

624
00:45:34.280 --> 00:45:38.280
Right now, I'm having a hard time distinguishing

625
00:45:38.280 --> 00:45:41.220
between manipulation and spiritual encouragement.

626
00:45:42.800 --> 00:45:45.820
And there's times when I'm feeling manipulated,

627
00:45:47.080 --> 00:45:49.320
and there's times I'm like, wow, she is amazing.

628
00:45:49.320 --> 00:45:51.600
Like she was right again.

629
00:45:51.600 --> 00:45:54.720
Like, I should just trust her more.

630
00:45:55.440 --> 00:45:59.080
But then it's just like, so really pushy.

631
00:45:59.080 --> 00:46:01.940
It feels really pushy and really frustrating.

632
00:46:03.320 --> 00:46:05.440
But she seems to be so right.

633
00:46:06.400 --> 00:46:07.240
Yeah.

634
00:46:07.240 --> 00:46:08.720
And I'm like, am I that off?

635
00:46:10.160 --> 00:46:15.160
Well, I go back to the broader boundary discussion

636
00:46:16.860 --> 00:46:21.860
on those situations where it's like this, where you're here,

637
00:46:25.480 --> 00:46:27.280
you're here and here,

638
00:46:27.280 --> 00:46:29.280
and she's here, here, here, here, here, here, here,

639
00:46:29.280 --> 00:46:30.200
all these things.

640
00:46:31.440 --> 00:46:34.760
And so I know what you're talking about.

641
00:46:34.760 --> 00:46:36.240
And I get it.

642
00:46:36.240 --> 00:46:37.240
I understand it.

643
00:46:38.360 --> 00:46:40.800
Where it comes down to, especially in relationship

644
00:46:40.800 --> 00:46:43.680
between men and women, husband and wife,

645
00:46:43.680 --> 00:46:46.600
in romantic relationship,

646
00:46:46.600 --> 00:46:49.520
and even as you're heading towards

647
00:46:49.520 --> 00:46:52.820
the ultimate commitment of marriage, okay?

648
00:46:53.820 --> 00:46:57.460
Men and women in that relationship,

649
00:46:58.580 --> 00:47:03.580
I think it helps for men to keep the boundaries simple.

650
00:47:05.300 --> 00:47:10.300
And so it seems as though in a way that I'm asking

651
00:47:11.940 --> 00:47:13.700
for men to be just compliant.

652
00:47:15.780 --> 00:47:17.740
And in a lot of ways that, you know,

653
00:47:17.740 --> 00:47:20.140
there's a lot of jokes surrounding like, you know,

654
00:47:20.140 --> 00:47:22.620
like, hey, this is typical what men and women,

655
00:47:23.420 --> 00:47:24.580
and like, when you say these jokes,

656
00:47:24.580 --> 00:47:26.740
like every man goes, yep, that's exactly right.

657
00:47:26.740 --> 00:47:28.820
It's exactly how it is and so forth.

658
00:47:28.820 --> 00:47:31.620
You know, she's right, I'm wrong, all this kind of stuff.

659
00:47:31.620 --> 00:47:35.140
And, but what's funny about that is

660
00:47:36.060 --> 00:47:38.300
when the rubber meets the road,

661
00:47:38.300 --> 00:47:42.660
it may be funny when you're always wrong

662
00:47:42.660 --> 00:47:45.780
and she's always right in relationship in that way,

663
00:47:45.780 --> 00:47:46.620
you know what I mean?

664
00:47:46.620 --> 00:47:49.340
Like not always, but you know what I mean.

665
00:47:49.340 --> 00:47:52.260
But when there's an intruder in the house

666
00:47:52.900 --> 00:47:53.740
and you get your gun out

667
00:47:53.740 --> 00:47:55.980
and you solve the problem of the intruder,

668
00:47:55.980 --> 00:47:57.780
I bet she's really thankful then.

669
00:48:00.540 --> 00:48:05.540
I bet you she's really thankful when you come to her defense

670
00:48:05.660 --> 00:48:09.300
and, you know, you don't throw her under the bus

671
00:48:09.300 --> 00:48:12.060
when somebody attacks her, like emotionally.

672
00:48:13.740 --> 00:48:16.380
I bet you she really appreciates when you come home

673
00:48:16.380 --> 00:48:19.340
and you are providing for, you know,

674
00:48:19.340 --> 00:48:21.420
financially in the relationship,

675
00:48:21.420 --> 00:48:22.820
I bet she appreciates that.

676
00:48:24.780 --> 00:48:27.500
You know, so the bigger, I guess the bigger thing is,

677
00:48:27.500 --> 00:48:32.500
is that again, these roles are buried in different

678
00:48:33.260 --> 00:48:36.700
in our world today because not all men are the breadwinners

679
00:48:36.700 --> 00:48:38.580
and not all, you know what I'm saying?

680
00:48:38.580 --> 00:48:41.940
It's, you know, they do vary, but in general,

681
00:48:41.940 --> 00:48:44.060
the relationship between the husband and the wife,

682
00:48:44.060 --> 00:48:47.100
the man and the woman is like that.

683
00:48:47.100 --> 00:48:50.380
It's like all the little details every day, all day long

684
00:48:50.380 --> 00:48:53.100
that, you know, we're gonna, you know, come up against this

685
00:48:53.100 --> 00:48:56.940
and whether it's, you know, you're coming to yourself

686
00:48:56.940 --> 00:48:58.900
and you're going up, she's right again.

687
00:48:58.900 --> 00:49:00.460
You know, I don't know what it is that she,

688
00:49:00.460 --> 00:49:03.100
you haven't articulated exactly what she's right about,

689
00:49:03.100 --> 00:49:04.780
but I can guarantee you,

690
00:49:04.780 --> 00:49:08.980
it was probably some sort of like situational,

691
00:49:08.980 --> 00:49:11.140
you know, relationship,

692
00:49:11.140 --> 00:49:12.980
just very personal sort of like thing.

693
00:49:12.980 --> 00:49:15.460
It wasn't a boundary issue.

694
00:49:16.460 --> 00:49:20.500
It wasn't like, hey, where should we put the fence?

695
00:49:20.500 --> 00:49:23.900
You know, you don't argue over that kind of stuff.

696
00:49:23.900 --> 00:49:25.260
Because why?

697
00:49:25.260 --> 00:49:26.260
Because women don't care,

698
00:49:26.260 --> 00:49:27.740
just as long as their fence is there

699
00:49:27.740 --> 00:49:30.580
and it's there and you're guarding it.

700
00:49:30.580 --> 00:49:31.940
So the bigger thing is,

701
00:49:31.940 --> 00:49:33.620
is I guess what I'm trying to say is,

702
00:49:33.620 --> 00:49:38.620
is in relationship, if you can make the main things,

703
00:49:39.620 --> 00:49:43.020
if you can make the main things, the main things,

704
00:49:44.060 --> 00:49:49.060
it will become easier for you to navigate your relationship.

705
00:49:51.020 --> 00:49:51.980
Because I feel like,

706
00:49:51.980 --> 00:49:55.300
I feel like you're maybe you're putting a lot of weight

707
00:49:55.300 --> 00:50:00.300
on things that may not be as essential as some things.

708
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:06.000
things. So if you're going back and like looking 10, if you're looking at 10 different arguments

709
00:50:06.000 --> 00:50:10.760
or 10 different conversations or 10 different situations, and nine of them, she's right,

710
00:50:10.760 --> 00:50:16.800
so to speak, and the one that you're right, I bet you the one you're right has a lot to

711
00:50:16.800 --> 00:50:23.000
do with the larger, the bigger picture. You know, I'm saying, yeah, I'll just throw this

712
00:50:23.000 --> 00:50:29.240
out real quick. But things started between us. She reached out a lot. She communicate

713
00:50:29.240 --> 00:50:34.600
a lot. She admits it fully that she was fostering the relationship. She was carrying the relationship

714
00:50:34.600 --> 00:50:39.600
because I was very cautious because I didn't really know what God was doing in me at that

715
00:50:39.600 --> 00:50:45.600
point. And finally it came to a head and she's like, why don't you come down here and meet

716
00:50:45.600 --> 00:50:54.040
my people? And I, and I basically said, Kate, like, you're amazing. I don't know what's

717
00:50:54.040 --> 00:50:59.560
going on, but I do not feel released right now. And I, at that point, this may have been

718
00:50:59.560 --> 00:51:05.560
kind of crazy, but she was facing this something and I, and maybe this confused things. I think

719
00:51:05.560 --> 00:51:08.800
it was the right thing to do, but it's going to sound a little confusing at that point.

720
00:51:08.800 --> 00:51:14.080
I even forwarded, I, I, right then I sent her $1,400 for a department deposit. I was

721
00:51:14.080 --> 00:51:19.520
like, I value you. I think you're amazing. I don't know that I feel peace to pursue this

722
00:51:19.520 --> 00:51:27.920
right now. And then she comes back with like, just come down. It's not a big deal. We're

723
00:51:27.920 --> 00:51:32.680
just getting to know each other. We're just meeting each other. We're just, and that's

724
00:51:32.680 --> 00:51:40.760
the kind of set a tone where she's been the one pushing, pushing, pushing. And I've learned,

725
00:51:40.760 --> 00:51:46.200
I've learned so much from her. I've grown so much, but I'm just like, and we're basically

726
00:51:46.200 --> 00:51:53.480
in a position where she, like, I have everything that you listed off, family contacts, house,

727
00:51:53.480 --> 00:51:59.560
job, you know, and it's kind of like, I don't think that she could survive a winter in Cleveland,

728
00:51:59.560 --> 00:52:04.600
Ohio. So it's like, we couldn't really live here. I don't think.

729
00:52:04.600 --> 00:52:11.880
Yeah, no, it sounds like you would definitely have to, like in, in a very worldly sense,

730
00:52:11.880 --> 00:52:18.240
give up a lot of stuff. But at this, at the same time, you know, like, what is that a

731
00:52:18.240 --> 00:52:25.960
comparison to, you know, a great relationship? And, you know, the fact is, is that women

732
00:52:25.960 --> 00:52:32.200
do that, what you're saying, they, especially at, you know, it's not like you're like 16

733
00:52:32.200 --> 00:52:39.440
or 18, 20 years old, you know, this woman is like, Hey, are we going to do this or not?

734
00:52:40.240 --> 00:52:45.760
And women do that at that age and older, they're like, look, you know, I don't have time to like,

735
00:52:45.760 --> 00:52:51.920
sit here and wait around. This is a good thing. Like we like each other. We, you know, we, we,

736
00:52:51.920 --> 00:52:56.080
uh, we have a lot of things going in the same direction. You know, it's just kind of like a

737
00:52:56.080 --> 00:53:01.760
list. Like remember a couple weeks ago, we were talking about that list, you know, like you have

738
00:53:01.760 --> 00:53:06.960
all these things. It's like, what's, what's holding you back, you know, type thing. So it's just kind

739
00:53:06.960 --> 00:53:11.920
of like, I think that's kind of like what you're up against more than really it is like a boundary

740
00:53:11.920 --> 00:53:17.120
issue. I don't think you're running into more of a boundary issue in relationship as much as you are

741
00:53:17.120 --> 00:53:25.440
just the initial, like, you know, am I going to do this or not with this person? So I don't think

742
00:53:25.440 --> 00:53:31.840
you've even, I don't even think that you've got into the boundaries of relationship with this

743
00:53:31.840 --> 00:53:37.840
person yet, because, you know, you've, you know, you're struggling to define the relationship

744
00:53:37.840 --> 00:53:46.400
period, you know, and you know, nobody, nobody can tell you, yes, this is it. Do that. That's,

745
00:53:46.400 --> 00:53:50.320
this is the relationship. I mean, obviously you have to decide that you have to come to that

746
00:53:50.320 --> 00:53:58.960
conclusion, but it sounds like every time you speak of this person that it's like pretty much

747
00:53:58.960 --> 00:54:06.960
all green lights, except for this red light that goes off in my head that nobody else sees.

748
00:54:08.400 --> 00:54:12.480
You know what I'm saying? I kind of feel like that's what you're coming up against. And so

749
00:54:12.480 --> 00:54:16.160
that's something to ask yourself the questions. It's like, why am I getting this red light in my

750
00:54:16.160 --> 00:54:22.400
head? But nobody else sees you got to begin to trust a little bit, you know, of other people

751
00:54:22.400 --> 00:54:29.120
that are around you. They're like, yeah, this is what's wrong with this relationship. You know,

752
00:54:31.200 --> 00:54:33.120
I don't know if that helps or not, but I mean,

753
00:54:36.240 --> 00:54:42.480
I think, I think, I don't think you're in the boundary issues of, of personal relationship yet.

754
00:54:43.280 --> 00:54:52.000
Except for the fact, like, if she wants to leave, she can leave, but the pushing, pushing, pushing

755
00:54:52.000 --> 00:54:56.080
is a little bit, that's what I'm getting at. Yeah. I mean, and that's just, you know,

756
00:54:56.800 --> 00:54:58.800
you feel like you're being pushed.

757
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.600
being forced into saying something yes or no.

758
00:55:04.600 --> 00:55:06.440
And you kind of are.

759
00:55:06.440 --> 00:55:07.920
And that's kind of normal.

760
00:55:07.920 --> 00:55:12.240
And that's kind of like expected in this situation.

761
00:55:12.240 --> 00:55:16.040
But at the same time, you are the one that

762
00:55:16.040 --> 00:55:18.840
does get to say yes or no.

763
00:55:18.840 --> 00:55:21.840
And depending on your yes or your no

764
00:55:21.840 --> 00:55:27.040
will determine what happens, not only what happens next,

765
00:55:27.040 --> 00:55:28.480
but what you have to live with.

766
00:55:31.240 --> 00:55:35.640
You feel like it's moving too fast, Chris?

767
00:55:35.640 --> 00:55:37.800
No, it's not moving too fast.

768
00:55:37.800 --> 00:55:39.400
OK, thanks.

769
00:55:39.400 --> 00:55:41.200
Can I ask you a question?

770
00:55:41.200 --> 00:55:43.160
Yeah, and Paul, that's a good question.

771
00:55:43.160 --> 00:55:46.160
I didn't ask that because I kind of know Chris's situation

772
00:55:46.160 --> 00:55:48.120
a little bit more.

773
00:55:48.120 --> 00:55:49.560
So yeah, yeah.

774
00:55:49.560 --> 00:55:50.980
But that's a really good question.

775
00:55:50.980 --> 00:55:52.320
I mean, because obviously, just hearing it,

776
00:55:52.320 --> 00:55:53.760
you're like, oh, wait a minute.

777
00:55:53.760 --> 00:55:54.960
Is this a new relationship that's

778
00:55:54.960 --> 00:55:55.960
unfolding in two weeks?

779
00:55:55.960 --> 00:55:57.760
No, this has been going on for some time.

780
00:56:00.320 --> 00:56:01.360
Thank you, though.

781
00:56:01.360 --> 00:56:03.440
Who else was going to ask a question?

782
00:56:03.440 --> 00:56:05.760
I was, just a question.

783
00:56:05.760 --> 00:56:10.440
Are you an avoidant relationship personality type?

784
00:56:10.440 --> 00:56:14.080
Yeah, and so I'm kind of ticked at God

785
00:56:14.080 --> 00:56:17.280
because I'm like, for crying out loud, this is not easy.

786
00:56:17.280 --> 00:56:19.920
You're asking me to give up my job, my church,

787
00:56:19.920 --> 00:56:23.000
my being in driving distance from my family

788
00:56:23.400 --> 00:56:27.360
to pursue a relationship with someone that, at this point,

789
00:56:27.360 --> 00:56:31.240
I don't even really look at and be like, I want to be with you.

790
00:56:31.240 --> 00:56:33.560
But basically, we're talking about it right now.

791
00:56:33.560 --> 00:56:39.800
And it's like, if this is going to go forward,

792
00:56:39.800 --> 00:56:42.000
we have to be in the same place.

793
00:56:42.000 --> 00:56:45.120
And she's willing to transition temporarily.

794
00:56:45.120 --> 00:56:49.200
She's willing to give it a go in person temporarily.

795
00:56:49.320 --> 00:56:55.520
And I just have to decide if I'm willing to say yes.

796
00:56:55.520 --> 00:57:00.800
And you're giving up, like you're giving up,

797
00:57:00.800 --> 00:57:03.360
you're literally giving up career because it's just not

798
00:57:03.360 --> 00:57:04.160
career.

799
00:57:04.160 --> 00:57:10.520
Not career, employment location, like company location.

800
00:57:10.520 --> 00:57:11.920
Yeah, no, I understand.

801
00:57:11.920 --> 00:57:14.840
I understand that there's seemingly a lot at risk

802
00:57:14.840 --> 00:57:17.200
here for you, like in that way.

803
00:57:17.200 --> 00:57:18.880
And it's not so much a risk.

804
00:57:19.400 --> 00:57:22.760
It's very difficult emotionally.

805
00:57:22.760 --> 00:57:28.440
It's very difficult to like, why can't it be fun and easy?

806
00:57:28.440 --> 00:57:30.840
But such is life.

807
00:57:30.840 --> 00:57:32.200
Yeah.

808
00:57:32.200 --> 00:57:34.680
No, I mean, it's one of those things where like,

809
00:57:34.680 --> 00:57:36.680
and I don't mean to make, you know.

810
00:57:36.680 --> 00:57:38.480
We can move, we should probably move on.

811
00:57:38.480 --> 00:57:40.640
I don't know, but I'll just make this comment.

812
00:57:40.640 --> 00:57:43.360
I felt, I have felt.

813
00:57:43.360 --> 00:57:47.040
I'll just make this comment, that is that usually

814
00:57:47.040 --> 00:57:50.320
the things that are worth, you know,

815
00:57:50.320 --> 00:57:53.360
worth doing hard things for, they're

816
00:57:53.360 --> 00:57:56.320
the things that are the most rewarding, you know.

817
00:57:56.320 --> 00:58:00.400
And that may be a little bit of this situation, you know.

818
00:58:00.400 --> 00:58:01.680
And I love Mike's comment.

819
00:58:01.680 --> 00:58:02.640
Look at Mike's comment.

820
00:58:02.640 --> 00:58:04.560
It says, look at what you would gain as well.

821
00:58:04.560 --> 00:58:05.760
You can't, you cannot.

822
00:58:05.760 --> 00:58:07.440
That's a really good perspective, Mike.

823
00:58:07.440 --> 00:58:08.920
Thank you for that.

824
00:58:08.920 --> 00:58:11.840
Is you cannot look at this as just like what you're losing.

825
00:58:11.840 --> 00:58:15.080
You also have to look at what you're gaining.

826
00:58:15.080 --> 00:58:17.720
And, you know, stepping into relationship

827
00:58:17.720 --> 00:58:19.800
isn't always like just counting the costs,

828
00:58:19.800 --> 00:58:21.360
like the pros and the cons.

829
00:58:21.360 --> 00:58:26.360
But it is worth looking at because, you know, it's true.

830
00:58:27.440 --> 00:58:32.240
Like, what have you been missing all of your life

831
00:58:32.240 --> 00:58:33.240
at what age you're at now?

832
00:58:33.240 --> 00:58:38.240
You're 40 years old and you've missed this part of your life

833
00:58:38.600 --> 00:58:42.040
in terms of the relationship, building a family,

834
00:58:42.040 --> 00:58:43.680
all that kind of stuff.

835
00:58:43.680 --> 00:58:46.520
And you're like, is this my opportunity

836
00:58:46.520 --> 00:58:47.800
to not miss that anymore?

837
00:58:49.600 --> 00:58:52.120
In spite of how emotionally difficult it might be.

838
00:58:53.160 --> 00:58:55.720
That's a big question, you know.

839
00:58:55.720 --> 00:58:58.720
But I think sometimes it helps to bring that in clarity

840
00:58:58.720 --> 00:59:00.680
and have the question before you

841
00:59:00.680 --> 00:59:02.760
rather than just dancing around it.

842
00:59:02.760 --> 00:59:04.560
Like, that's the big question.

843
00:59:04.560 --> 00:59:05.760
And I'm gonna focus in on that.

844
00:59:05.760 --> 00:59:07.880
I'm gonna drill down on that.

845
00:59:07.880 --> 00:59:09.640
And then you start limiting some of those things.

846
00:59:09.640 --> 00:59:12.000
It's like, okay, well, if you're gonna go down the list

847
00:59:12.000 --> 00:59:12.840
of the things that, you know,

848
00:59:12.840 --> 00:59:16.080
I'm having to give up, quote, for this relationship,

849
00:59:16.080 --> 00:59:18.360
you have to start drilling down further

850
00:59:18.360 --> 00:59:20.400
into each one of those things

851
00:59:20.400 --> 00:59:22.400
and how important each one of those things are.

852
00:59:22.400 --> 00:59:25.760
And you may find yourself eliminating a few of those things.

853
00:59:25.760 --> 00:59:28.240
And like, okay, this really isn't, this is kind of hard,

854
00:59:28.240 --> 00:59:30.440
but it's really not that big a deal now that I think about it

855
00:59:30.440 --> 00:59:32.640
and now that I really uncover it and unpack it.

856
00:59:32.640 --> 00:59:35.120
So you're trying to eliminate some of those things

857
00:59:35.120 --> 00:59:36.120
to take them off your list

858
00:59:36.120 --> 00:59:38.920
so they're not such a huge barrier

859
00:59:38.920 --> 00:59:41.360
to what it is that you said that you wanted,

860
00:59:41.360 --> 00:59:46.000
which is marriage relationship as a family and all that.

861
00:59:47.200 --> 00:59:48.040
Yeah.

862
00:59:49.120 --> 00:59:49.960
All right.

863
00:59:53.840 --> 00:59:54.920
I wanna get into,

864
00:59:54.920 --> 00:59:57.280
I'll get into some more of this other stuff here

865
00:59:57.280 --> 00:59:58.600
on boundary stuff.

866
00:59:58.600 --> 00:59:59.440
There's,

867
01:00:00.840 --> 01:00:05.200
10 laws of boundaries that are worth going over,

868
01:00:05.200 --> 01:00:06.920
but I won't go over those tonight.

869
01:00:20.600 --> 01:00:22.460
So the biggest thing, guys,

870
01:00:23.560 --> 01:00:28.000
when we talked about can't say no, can't say yes,

871
01:00:29.000 --> 01:00:33.680
and also can't hear no and can't hear yes,

872
01:00:33.680 --> 01:00:37.080
you've got the compliant that can't say no,

873
01:00:37.080 --> 01:00:41.000
you've got the controller that can't hear no,

874
01:00:41.000 --> 01:00:46.000
you have the non-responsive that can't say yes,

875
01:00:47.280 --> 01:00:52.280
and you have the avoidant that can't hear yes.

876
01:00:52.560 --> 01:00:57.520
Okay, that's how you're like, you know, clarifying those.

877
01:00:57.520 --> 01:01:02.520
The inability to do those things

878
01:01:03.240 --> 01:01:07.360
is rooted in unexamined feelings.

879
01:01:07.360 --> 01:01:10.340
They're rooted in the things that you're not aware of.

880
01:01:11.680 --> 01:01:13.280
Okay, they're rooted in the things,

881
01:01:13.280 --> 01:01:15.520
like feelings that come from the experience.

882
01:01:15.520 --> 01:01:17.720
This is where you're getting into the heartwork.

883
01:01:17.720 --> 01:01:21.800
This is where the heartwork begins to reveal

884
01:01:21.800 --> 01:01:24.380
the things that have happened to you

885
01:01:24.380 --> 01:01:27.120
that expose why you feel the way you feel

886
01:01:27.120 --> 01:01:30.280
about certain issues and certain things.

887
01:01:30.280 --> 01:01:33.540
Like, and we always relate it to pain points.

888
01:01:33.540 --> 01:01:37.120
If you're frustrated, if you're angry, if you're sad,

889
01:01:37.120 --> 01:01:40.140
if you're anxious, if you're confused,

890
01:01:40.140 --> 01:01:45.140
all of these things are feelings that are precipitations

891
01:01:45.620 --> 01:01:48.160
of what's happening deeper inside of you.

892
01:01:48.160 --> 01:01:52.340
And so the heartwork is the work of allowing Holy Spirit

893
01:01:52.340 --> 01:01:57.340
to reveal the why behind those things

894
01:01:58.020 --> 01:01:59.420
so that you can get healing.

895
01:02:00.300 --> 01:02:02.900
And a lot of those things are rooted

896
01:02:02.900 --> 01:02:05.780
in individual certain experiences.

897
01:02:05.780 --> 01:02:10.780
They might be rooted in childhood traumatic experiences,

898
01:02:11.700 --> 01:02:15.700
relational traumatic experiences,

899
01:02:15.700 --> 01:02:20.220
parental, like, you know, being parented inappropriately

900
01:02:20.700 --> 01:02:24.060
and family traumatic experiences.

901
01:02:24.060 --> 01:02:26.860
So that's why the heartwork goes back and says,

902
01:02:26.860 --> 01:02:31.860
okay, first of all, we're allowing Holy Spirit permission

903
01:02:32.260 --> 01:02:33.940
to just examine our heart,

904
01:02:33.940 --> 01:02:36.920
because the heart is where we keep all of this stuff.

905
01:02:37.900 --> 01:02:40.820
And so it's not about trying to find out,

906
01:02:40.820 --> 01:02:42.620
ooh, where's all your sin at?

907
01:02:42.620 --> 01:02:45.940
It's really just trying to allow you to examine your heart

908
01:02:45.940 --> 01:02:48.960
so that you can reveal the things that are there,

909
01:02:49.000 --> 01:02:51.880
that are traumatic and get healing from them.

910
01:02:52.840 --> 01:02:56.280
Once you have healing in those areas of feelings

911
01:02:56.280 --> 01:02:59.400
and areas of trauma,

912
01:02:59.400 --> 01:03:01.560
then you're able to step into

913
01:03:01.560 --> 01:03:04.320
a boundaried relationship situation

914
01:03:05.240 --> 01:03:08.440
in a much more healthy and productive way.

915
01:03:08.440 --> 01:03:11.380
So that's the essence of why we even study boundaries

916
01:03:11.380 --> 01:03:15.120
to begin with, is that we know that there are boundaries

917
01:03:15.120 --> 01:03:17.540
that need to be established in relationship.

918
01:03:17.540 --> 01:03:22.540
We know that in order to work in relationships,

919
01:03:24.460 --> 01:03:25.820
we have to have boundaries,

920
01:03:25.820 --> 01:03:29.280
my boundaries, her boundaries, and so forth.

921
01:03:29.280 --> 01:03:32.540
We have to understand why we don't respect boundaries

922
01:03:32.540 --> 01:03:34.700
and why we trample boundaries and why we don't hear

923
01:03:34.700 --> 01:03:38.340
and why, you know, depending on what side of the frame

924
01:03:38.340 --> 01:03:43.340
we land on, but the inability to respect and set boundaries

925
01:03:44.480 --> 01:03:47.480
has its roots in these unexamined feelings.

926
01:03:48.320 --> 01:03:49.840
And so I think next time we'll get into some

927
01:03:49.840 --> 01:03:53.160
of these feelings and get into some of the heartwork

928
01:03:53.160 --> 01:03:56.280
that's associated with having healthy boundaries.

929
01:03:57.120 --> 01:03:58.560
That make sense to everybody?

930
01:04:02.080 --> 01:04:02.920
Good, good.

931
01:04:04.200 --> 01:04:05.560
Any other questions, guys?

932
01:04:05.560 --> 01:04:08.920
Could you say that last line one more time, the inability?

933
01:04:08.920 --> 01:04:12.360
The inability to respect and set boundaries

934
01:04:13.360 --> 01:04:18.360
has its roots in unexamined feelings.

935
01:04:22.040 --> 01:04:23.760
David, do you have like a cheat sheet

936
01:04:23.760 --> 01:04:26.160
on those four things we went over?

937
01:04:26.160 --> 01:04:28.360
I mean, you kind of, the compliant,

938
01:04:28.360 --> 01:04:31.000
avoidant, controller, non-responsive?

939
01:04:31.000 --> 01:04:31.920
Yeah, I do.

940
01:04:31.920 --> 01:04:33.320
Let me do this real quick.

941
01:04:33.880 --> 01:04:38.880
Two things, I'll just do a real quick screenshot here

942
01:04:43.920 --> 01:04:45.280
and I'll share it with you.

943
01:04:49.440 --> 01:04:52.040
And I will put that in the,

944
01:04:57.480 --> 01:04:58.320
here's the chat.

945
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:05.000
Okay.

946
01:05:05.000 --> 01:05:16.000
Did you do.

947
01:05:16.000 --> 01:05:18.000
Okay.

948
01:05:18.000 --> 01:05:31.000
I need to upload that let me just do this real quick.

949
01:05:31.000 --> 01:05:41.000
I'm not really.

950
01:05:41.000 --> 01:06:04.000
Okay.

951
01:06:04.000 --> 01:06:13.000
Give me a second.

952
01:06:13.000 --> 01:06:42.000
Okay.

953
01:06:42.000 --> 01:06:47.000
Okay.

954
01:06:47.000 --> 01:06:50.000
Copy and paste that if you want to.

955
01:06:50.000 --> 01:07:10.000
Or take a screenshot of that or however you want to do that.

956
01:07:10.000 --> 01:07:23.000
That makes sense guys.

957
01:07:23.000 --> 01:07:31.000
At first I thought they all just sounded like issues of respect but I think it sounds like it's deeper than that.

958
01:07:31.000 --> 01:07:42.000
Well, it's, it does have to do with you and the other person so if it's a matter of respect.

959
01:07:42.000 --> 01:07:48.000
It's a matter of not respecting other people's boundaries one way or another.

960
01:07:48.000 --> 01:07:55.000
And it's also your inability to set proper boundaries one way or another.

961
01:07:55.000 --> 01:08:01.000
You set too many too many too firm boundaries, or you don't set boundaries at all.

962
01:08:01.000 --> 01:08:06.000
You know I'm saying are the extreme you know those are two extremes, versus.

963
01:08:06.000 --> 01:08:16.000
You don't hear or understand other people's boundaries, or you see them but you just ignore them. So that's those are two extremes on that side.

964
01:08:16.000 --> 01:08:24.000
So it is about respecting and also big setting boundaries, going both ways.

965
01:08:24.000 --> 01:08:34.000
So, you get the compliant avoidant controller and then the non responsive so it's in that kind of in that paragraph there.

966
01:08:34.000 --> 01:08:41.000
I will pass along some of these, some of these, some of these slide information for you as well.

967
01:08:42.000 --> 01:08:48.000
that would be helpful to you all to kind of post them in the group for you.

968
01:08:48.000 --> 01:08:51.000
And hopefully under this video. Okay.

969
01:08:51.000 --> 01:08:53.000
Okay.

970
01:08:53.000 --> 01:08:56.000
All right, God bless guys have a great night.

971
01:08:56.000 --> 01:09:00.000
And again we have your prayers for Jackie. I want her to be well.

972
01:09:00.000 --> 01:09:04.000
And want her to be able to feel like she can do what she needs to do tomorrow.

973
01:09:04.000 --> 01:09:08.000
And starting off that challenge and this is going so.

974
01:09:08.000 --> 01:09:09.000
Love you guys.