WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.000
Bye-bye.

2
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:01.000


3
00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:31.000
Bye-bye.

4
00:00:31.000 --> 00:00:31.000


5
00:01:00.000 --> 00:01:01.000
Bye-bye.

6
00:01:01.000 --> 00:01:02.000
Bye-bye.

7
00:01:02.000 --> 00:01:02.000


8
00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:31.000
Bye-bye.

9
00:01:31.000 --> 00:01:32.000
Bye-bye.

10
00:01:32.000 --> 00:01:32.000


11
00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:01.000
Bye-bye.

12
00:02:01.000 --> 00:02:02.000
Bye-bye.

13
00:02:02.000 --> 00:02:02.000


14
00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:31.000
Bye-bye.

15
00:02:31.000 --> 00:02:32.000
Bye-bye.

16
00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:32.000


17
00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:07.000
Bye-bye.

18
00:03:07.000 --> 00:03:09.000
Bye-bye.

19
00:03:09.000 --> 00:03:16.000
Bye-bye.

20
00:03:16.000 --> 00:03:19.000
Hey, hi ladies, good evening.

21
00:03:19.000 --> 00:03:21.000
Just working out some technical stuff here.

22
00:03:21.000 --> 00:03:24.000
We are going to get started.

23
00:03:24.000 --> 00:03:28.000
All right, welcome to your second heart check in.

24
00:03:28.000 --> 00:03:32.000
We are going to get started.

25
00:03:32.000 --> 00:03:34.000
We are going to get started at 3 p.m.

26
00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:36.000
Eastern.

27
00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:38.000
You never know who you are going to get.

28
00:03:38.000 --> 00:03:42.000
Let me respond here.

29
00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:44.000
All right.

30
00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:46.000
All right.

31
00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:54.000
Awesome.

32
00:03:54.000 --> 00:03:56.000
How many of you have gotten through all the materials up until this

33
00:03:56.000 --> 00:04:00.000
point?

34
00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:02.000
If you haven't gotten through all the materials,

35
00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:04.000
I encourage you to do so.

36
00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:07.000
It is okay if you are not.

37
00:04:07.000 --> 00:04:10.000
Honor system, go ahead and tell us where you are.

38
00:04:10.000 --> 00:04:13.000
That includes watching the two bonus sessions that have already been

39
00:04:13.000 --> 00:04:17.000
available to you.

40
00:04:17.000 --> 00:04:20.000
One of those bonus sessions I believe was dream interpretation and the

41
00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:23.000
other one was, or maybe not,

42
00:04:23.000 --> 00:04:26.000
but it was a workshop.

43
00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:28.000
So I encourage you to go there.

44
00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:32.000
And of course all of the videos and the materials and the reading.

45
00:04:32.000 --> 00:04:34.000
All right. Lots of you guys have done all that.

46
00:04:34.000 --> 00:04:35.000
Let me lower all the hands.

47
00:04:35.000 --> 00:04:37.000
All right. So now a new question.

48
00:04:37.000 --> 00:04:38.000
Raise your hand.

49
00:04:38.000 --> 00:04:40.000
If you actually watch the hope bonus session,

50
00:04:40.000 --> 00:04:43.000
you did the worksheet, the hope scale, and then you wa and then you watch

51
00:04:43.000 --> 00:04:52.000
the session.

52
00:04:52.000 --> 00:04:55.000
Okay. No spoiler for those of you that haven't done that,

53
00:04:55.000 --> 00:04:57.000
you're going to want to make sure that you do the hope scale worksheet

54
00:04:57.000 --> 00:05:00.000
first.

55
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:01.400
want to watch the session.

56
00:05:01.400 --> 00:05:03.880
Do not watch the session and then do the worksheet.

57
00:05:03.880 --> 00:05:05.960
Make sure that you do the worksheet

58
00:05:05.960 --> 00:05:08.440
and then you watch my teaching on it, okay?

59
00:05:08.440 --> 00:05:12.040
In that order, very important that you do it that way.

60
00:05:12.040 --> 00:05:12.880
All right.

61
00:05:13.960 --> 00:05:18.560
Anybody get deliverance from that session?

62
00:05:18.560 --> 00:05:20.560
Start really feel like hope's increasing,

63
00:05:20.560 --> 00:05:23.920
start understanding that if you don't have hope,

64
00:05:23.920 --> 00:05:26.840
it's not because God took it away from you.

65
00:05:26.840 --> 00:05:29.000
It's because we defer it, we postpone it

66
00:05:29.000 --> 00:05:31.280
until we think that it's safe to get our hopes up again.

67
00:05:31.280 --> 00:05:33.880
Who wants to go ahead and get your hopes up?

68
00:05:33.880 --> 00:05:35.360
It is safe to get your hopes up.

69
00:05:35.360 --> 00:05:37.360
It's always safe to live with hope.

70
00:05:37.360 --> 00:05:38.880
It's always safe to live with hope.

71
00:05:38.880 --> 00:05:41.480
Living without hope is a horrible life

72
00:05:41.480 --> 00:05:42.680
that will actually cause you

73
00:05:42.680 --> 00:05:44.840
to go looking for self-medicators.

74
00:05:44.840 --> 00:05:47.520
If you defer your hope, it will make your heart sick

75
00:05:47.520 --> 00:05:50.640
and you will go looking for medication, friends.

76
00:05:50.640 --> 00:05:51.760
You will.

77
00:05:51.760 --> 00:05:55.120
And so we don't want to live a life full of vice,

78
00:05:55.120 --> 00:05:57.040
full of medicators.

79
00:05:57.040 --> 00:05:58.440
We do not want to do that.

80
00:05:58.880 --> 00:06:01.720
And one of the antidotes to depression is hope.

81
00:06:01.720 --> 00:06:04.480
And so hope is an eternal thing.

82
00:06:04.480 --> 00:06:05.880
Hope is an eternal thing.

83
00:06:05.880 --> 00:06:08.560
The three things that remain are faith, hope, and love.

84
00:06:08.560 --> 00:06:09.800
And so it's an eternal thing.

85
00:06:09.800 --> 00:06:11.600
There's always an endless supply available

86
00:06:11.600 --> 00:06:14.320
from heaven for you of hope.

87
00:06:14.320 --> 00:06:16.840
And so we want to make sure that we're living in hope.

88
00:06:16.840 --> 00:06:19.360
And yes, I know our circumstances don't always line up

89
00:06:19.360 --> 00:06:21.200
to positive things.

90
00:06:21.200 --> 00:06:22.440
I get it.

91
00:06:22.440 --> 00:06:24.400
But truth is greater than fact.

92
00:06:25.640 --> 00:06:27.320
God wants us to live according to,

93
00:06:27.320 --> 00:06:29.360
hey, we're up or we're getting up.

94
00:06:29.360 --> 00:06:32.720
It's either it's good, but it's getting better.

95
00:06:32.720 --> 00:06:35.120
It's always good because God is with us and he is good,

96
00:06:35.120 --> 00:06:36.520
but it's getting better.

97
00:06:36.520 --> 00:06:38.880
And then of course, we go into circumstances

98
00:06:38.880 --> 00:06:39.800
that we don't like,

99
00:06:39.800 --> 00:06:43.800
but those things are not permanent and they're not forever.

100
00:06:43.800 --> 00:06:47.520
And God is going to continue to allow us to level up

101
00:06:47.520 --> 00:06:52.200
and upgrade and get to places of overcoming all adversity,

102
00:06:52.200 --> 00:06:54.200
everything that has come against us

103
00:06:54.200 --> 00:06:56.720
because Romans 8, 28 is real.

104
00:06:56.720 --> 00:06:59.280
I often tell people about my life and my history

105
00:06:59.280 --> 00:07:01.160
and the things that I've been through

106
00:07:01.160 --> 00:07:03.120
and people don't believe it.

107
00:07:03.120 --> 00:07:03.960
They don't believe it.

108
00:07:03.960 --> 00:07:05.360
They're like, Jackie, you do not seem like

109
00:07:05.360 --> 00:07:06.840
the kind of person who has been through

110
00:07:06.840 --> 00:07:11.040
that type of childhood or that type of marriage

111
00:07:11.040 --> 00:07:12.320
or the things that I've been through.

112
00:07:12.320 --> 00:07:14.760
And that's because Jesus is real.

113
00:07:14.760 --> 00:07:15.920
Jesus is real.

114
00:07:15.920 --> 00:07:18.200
Now we do people a disservice when we say,

115
00:07:18.200 --> 00:07:19.360
oh, hey, you met Jesus.

116
00:07:19.360 --> 00:07:22.480
Everything is better right now in this moment.

117
00:07:22.480 --> 00:07:24.920
No, but it's better and it's getting better

118
00:07:24.960 --> 00:07:28.080
because if we continue in his truth, in his words,

119
00:07:28.080 --> 00:07:31.520
we will know the truth and it will make us free.

120
00:07:31.520 --> 00:07:35.520
It is a process, but that process does work.

121
00:07:35.520 --> 00:07:36.840
It really does.

122
00:07:36.840 --> 00:07:41.840
So we are gonna dig into our heart check-in for part two.

123
00:07:42.760 --> 00:07:44.600
That's what we're gonna do right now.

124
00:07:44.600 --> 00:07:49.600
And so let's see, here's a few housekeeping things

125
00:07:49.600 --> 00:07:50.840
that we wanna remind you of.

126
00:07:50.840 --> 00:07:53.560
First of all, if you haven't done the hope thing yet,

127
00:07:53.560 --> 00:07:56.680
the hope bonus session, make sure that you do the worksheet

128
00:07:56.680 --> 00:07:57.880
before you watch the video.

129
00:07:57.880 --> 00:07:59.480
So that's one reminder.

130
00:07:59.480 --> 00:08:04.480
The second reminder is that you want to do the videos

131
00:08:05.360 --> 00:08:07.480
and the book reading together in each part.

132
00:08:07.480 --> 00:08:09.280
So all of that, hopefully that makes sense,

133
00:08:09.280 --> 00:08:14.280
that the homework posts in each section of your program

134
00:08:15.440 --> 00:08:18.040
should tell you exactly what you should be doing that week.

135
00:08:18.040 --> 00:08:19.520
You're gonna read certain pages.

136
00:08:19.520 --> 00:08:22.000
You're gonna journal the answers to certain questions.

137
00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:23.960
You're gonna watch certain videos.

138
00:08:23.960 --> 00:08:24.840
And so you wanna make sure

139
00:08:24.840 --> 00:08:27.080
that you're doing that all together.

140
00:08:27.080 --> 00:08:28.560
All right.

141
00:08:28.560 --> 00:08:32.159
The hope scale worksheet will be in that block

142
00:08:32.159 --> 00:08:34.640
of materials and downloads.

143
00:08:34.640 --> 00:08:36.240
And then of course you want to do that

144
00:08:36.240 --> 00:08:37.600
before you watch the video.

145
00:08:38.520 --> 00:08:41.679
Also, some of you didn't subscribe to our emails

146
00:08:41.679 --> 00:08:44.080
and that's why you don't get any correspondence from us.

147
00:08:44.080 --> 00:08:46.280
And so please make sure that you have subscribed

148
00:08:46.280 --> 00:08:49.360
to our emails if you've not ever gotten any emails from us

149
00:08:49.360 --> 00:08:52.720
besides, hey, thank you for purchasing,

150
00:08:52.720 --> 00:08:54.080
then you might not be subscribed.

151
00:08:54.080 --> 00:08:59.080
And you're gonna wanna email us at admin at JackieDorman.com

152
00:09:00.360 --> 00:09:03.920
and let us check to make sure that you're subscribed

153
00:09:03.920 --> 00:09:07.120
because we want to make sure that you are getting emails

154
00:09:07.120 --> 00:09:09.600
because we send you important emails

155
00:09:09.600 --> 00:09:11.920
as you go through the phases of your program.

156
00:09:11.920 --> 00:09:13.360
Right now you're in phase one.

157
00:09:13.360 --> 00:09:17.160
You're gonna be in phase two very soon and then phase three.

158
00:09:17.160 --> 00:09:18.400
And so we wanna make sure

159
00:09:18.400 --> 00:09:21.400
that you're getting those instructions via email.

160
00:09:21.400 --> 00:09:22.640
All right.

161
00:09:22.640 --> 00:09:23.800
All right, so let's start with prayer.

162
00:09:23.800 --> 00:09:25.480
Father God, we're so thankful

163
00:09:25.480 --> 00:09:27.120
that you've brought us here together again.

164
00:09:27.120 --> 00:09:30.840
And I'm thankful that these daughters you have highlighted,

165
00:09:30.840 --> 00:09:33.480
you're doing incredible work in their hearts.

166
00:09:33.480 --> 00:09:34.400
You're shifting them.

167
00:09:34.400 --> 00:09:37.200
You're putting them in alignment with heaven

168
00:09:37.200 --> 00:09:38.840
in every area of their lives,

169
00:09:38.840 --> 00:09:40.240
but especially their love lives,

170
00:09:40.240 --> 00:09:41.920
especially their relationships, Lord.

171
00:09:41.920 --> 00:09:42.880
And I just thank you, God,

172
00:09:42.880 --> 00:09:45.600
that you are helping them to understand their heart

173
00:09:45.640 --> 00:09:47.360
right now in this season

174
00:09:47.360 --> 00:09:50.000
and where it's broken and where it's closed off

175
00:09:50.000 --> 00:09:51.880
and where it's not allowing them

176
00:09:51.880 --> 00:09:54.720
to see the abundant life that you have waiting for them

177
00:09:54.720 --> 00:09:56.320
in several areas of their lives.

178
00:09:56.320 --> 00:09:58.400
Those blind spots, those filters,

179
00:09:58.400 --> 00:10:00.040
they're being revealed to be.

180
00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:04.840
healed, those layers are beginning to fall off and they're beginning to understand that

181
00:10:04.840 --> 00:10:09.520
you've always had a better life for them than one that they've even ever imagined for themselves.

182
00:10:09.520 --> 00:10:13.400
And so as they go forward in this process, I pray that you would continue to just speed

183
00:10:13.400 --> 00:10:16.800
up that revealing for healing Lord, let it accelerate.

184
00:10:16.800 --> 00:10:21.160
Let them have aha moments every day, every week, Lord, as they go through this process,

185
00:10:21.160 --> 00:10:22.320
let them be open to it.

186
00:10:22.320 --> 00:10:27.640
God, give them a teachable heart, a soft heart to receive your truth, to receive your goodness

187
00:10:27.640 --> 00:10:28.640
in Jesus name.

188
00:10:28.640 --> 00:10:29.640
Amen.

189
00:10:29.640 --> 00:10:30.640
All right.

190
00:10:30.640 --> 00:10:31.640
All right.

191
00:10:31.640 --> 00:10:32.640
Okay.

192
00:10:32.640 --> 00:10:39.280
So we're going to jump into our heart check in for part two, I'm going to put you in some

193
00:10:39.280 --> 00:10:41.320
breakout sessions here in a few minutes.

194
00:10:41.320 --> 00:10:44.520
So you might meet some new sisters that you haven't met yet.

195
00:10:44.520 --> 00:10:45.520
That's good.

196
00:10:45.520 --> 00:10:48.640
There's about 95 of you on, so we will not have groups of two.

197
00:10:48.640 --> 00:10:52.640
We'll have some odd numbered groups because we have an odd number of people in here right

198
00:10:52.640 --> 00:10:56.640
now and that's fine.

199
00:10:56.640 --> 00:10:57.640
All right.

200
00:10:57.640 --> 00:11:00.160
So I think we're going to do two to three breakout groups tonight.

201
00:11:00.160 --> 00:11:01.160
Okay.

202
00:11:01.160 --> 00:11:05.320
And we're going to cover the questions, the main questions that were part of your heart

203
00:11:05.320 --> 00:11:10.200
to homework or your heart to assignment, to journal, we're going to cover those in breakouts.

204
00:11:10.200 --> 00:11:14.680
And then when we come back in here together in the main group, we'll take a few brave

205
00:11:14.680 --> 00:11:20.840
souls as volunteers to talk about what their answers were to that.

206
00:11:20.840 --> 00:11:25.480
So let's talk about masks a little bit, shall we?

207
00:11:25.480 --> 00:11:27.720
Let's talk about masks.

208
00:11:27.720 --> 00:11:29.480
Really fun.

209
00:11:29.480 --> 00:11:30.720
You guys know that I do matchmaking.

210
00:11:30.720 --> 00:11:34.120
In fact, I was just over playing the Indian matchmaker.

211
00:11:34.120 --> 00:11:35.640
I was doing some Indian matchmaking.

212
00:11:35.640 --> 00:11:40.320
Yes, I'm not Indian, but I do have Indian clients that want to marry someone within

213
00:11:40.320 --> 00:11:41.680
their own culture.

214
00:11:41.680 --> 00:11:47.880
And so I was having fun looking through some prospects to do that.

215
00:11:47.880 --> 00:11:50.680
But I do have a guy.

216
00:11:50.680 --> 00:11:54.040
So what I'm thinking about masks, I do have a guy, I have a lot of guys, but I do have

217
00:11:54.040 --> 00:11:58.200
a guy that he's super, super, super friendly.

218
00:11:58.200 --> 00:11:59.200
He's really nice.

219
00:11:59.200 --> 00:12:04.280
In fact, no one would ever meet this guy and not have the same feedback of, Hey, yeah,

220
00:12:04.280 --> 00:12:05.840
you know, he's super nice.

221
00:12:05.840 --> 00:12:07.840
He's, he's very kind.

222
00:12:07.840 --> 00:12:11.000
He seems very generous, you know, all really positive things.

223
00:12:11.000 --> 00:12:12.000
Right.

224
00:12:12.000 --> 00:12:15.240
But have you ever met someone that's really kind and they're nice and they're generous

225
00:12:15.240 --> 00:12:20.040
and they're all those things, but you feel like you're almost, you're almost talking.

226
00:12:20.040 --> 00:12:24.960
Does anyone see that movie with Jim Carrey and at the Truman show, anyone ever see that

227
00:12:24.960 --> 00:12:28.040
movie where he's like living in like a fake world?

228
00:12:28.040 --> 00:12:30.160
Like he's in a TV show and he doesn't realize it.

229
00:12:30.160 --> 00:12:33.200
And it's always like, Hey, hi, how are you doing?

230
00:12:33.200 --> 00:12:34.200
How's your day going?

231
00:12:34.200 --> 00:12:35.480
Oh, my day's going good.

232
00:12:35.480 --> 00:12:36.480
You know, kind of thing.

233
00:12:36.480 --> 00:12:39.000
And it's kind of like that.

234
00:12:39.000 --> 00:12:42.840
So all the dates that I would send this guy on, the women would give me the same feedback.

235
00:12:42.840 --> 00:12:46.200
They'd be like, yeah, he's really, he's cute.

236
00:12:46.200 --> 00:12:47.960
He's nice.

237
00:12:47.960 --> 00:12:48.960
He's successful.

238
00:12:48.960 --> 00:12:52.200
He has a very professional job, very successful job.

239
00:12:52.200 --> 00:12:59.200
But I just feel like, you know, like it's surface, you know, and yeah, on the first

240
00:12:59.200 --> 00:13:03.880
date, how deep can you get, but it's really not about getting deep on the first date.

241
00:13:03.880 --> 00:13:09.360
It's about portraying a, like you're a real person, right?

242
00:13:09.360 --> 00:13:15.480
There's a certain amount of vulnerability that we need to be able to express while we're

243
00:13:15.480 --> 00:13:19.080
just living life, right?

244
00:13:19.080 --> 00:13:20.400
We need to be able to do that.

245
00:13:20.400 --> 00:13:23.880
But a lot of us, we, we go one or two ways in this category.

246
00:13:23.880 --> 00:13:24.880
We're very guarded.

247
00:13:24.880 --> 00:13:25.880
Okay.

248
00:13:25.880 --> 00:13:27.320
So we're not, we're not seeming real friendly.

249
00:13:27.320 --> 00:13:29.760
We're seeming kind of suspicious, right?

250
00:13:29.760 --> 00:13:30.760
We're real guarded.

251
00:13:30.760 --> 00:13:35.320
And it's just like, you know, watching you, you know, people that are quiet, they're just

252
00:13:35.320 --> 00:13:36.320
kind of observing.

253
00:13:36.320 --> 00:13:37.320
They're not really friendly.

254
00:13:37.320 --> 00:13:41.120
They might say, hi, you know, there's that polar.

255
00:13:41.120 --> 00:13:44.680
And then we have the opposite polar where you sit down with this purpose and person

256
00:13:44.680 --> 00:13:45.680
for five minutes.

257
00:13:45.680 --> 00:13:50.360
And you know, everything about their life that you should not know things that are completely

258
00:13:50.360 --> 00:13:54.600
inappropriate for them to have told you, right?

259
00:13:54.600 --> 00:13:57.320
So those are the two polars.

260
00:13:57.320 --> 00:14:04.400
But then within those polars, there's a whole spectrum of different, different types of

261
00:14:04.400 --> 00:14:06.800
representation of oneself.

262
00:14:06.800 --> 00:14:08.800
All right.

263
00:14:08.800 --> 00:14:11.880
I want you to, you don't have to raise your hand, but I want you to put in the chat right

264
00:14:11.880 --> 00:14:22.640
now, adjectives that people have used to describe you that may indicate that you are

265
00:14:22.640 --> 00:14:23.640
guarded.

266
00:14:23.640 --> 00:14:25.960
They may have seen, they may have said shy.

267
00:14:25.960 --> 00:14:27.260
They may have said introverted.

268
00:14:27.260 --> 00:14:28.680
They may have said reserved.

269
00:14:28.680 --> 00:14:32.400
I want to see those adjectives in the chat.

270
00:14:32.400 --> 00:14:35.580
All right.

271
00:14:35.580 --> 00:14:37.200
We got standoffish.

272
00:14:37.200 --> 00:14:38.200
We got quiet.

273
00:14:38.200 --> 00:14:39.200
That's a good one.

274
00:14:39.200 --> 00:14:40.200
Quiet introverted.

275
00:14:40.200 --> 00:14:41.200
Fake.

276
00:14:41.200 --> 00:14:42.200
Fake.

277
00:14:42.200 --> 00:14:43.200
All right.

278
00:14:43.200 --> 00:14:52.200
To know you, you've been described as hard to get to know unapproachable.

279
00:14:52.200 --> 00:14:54.200
All right.

280
00:14:54.200 --> 00:15:00.200
Quiet, introverted, reserved, cold-hearted, hard-dressed.

281
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:03.560
Read, Ice Queen, Ice Queen, all right, Jennifer.

282
00:15:04.480 --> 00:15:07.520
We do not want that title.

283
00:15:07.520 --> 00:15:09.640
Stuck up, there's one, stuck up.

284
00:15:09.640 --> 00:15:12.640
My husband, people used to tell him a lot

285
00:15:12.640 --> 00:15:15.360
when he was younger that he seemed like he was conceited

286
00:15:15.360 --> 00:15:19.760
or stuck up or too good, too cool for school.

287
00:15:19.760 --> 00:15:21.560
Intimidating, all right.

288
00:15:21.560 --> 00:15:24.400
All right, now I wanna see the other polar opposite.

289
00:15:24.400 --> 00:15:27.360
I wanna see all the adjectives that have described you

290
00:15:27.360 --> 00:15:28.800
for being too open.

291
00:15:29.520 --> 00:15:31.720
What have people said when they're trying to say

292
00:15:31.720 --> 00:15:34.400
that you're a main character?

293
00:15:34.400 --> 00:15:36.320
Like you suck all the oxygen out of the room

294
00:15:36.320 --> 00:15:38.440
because you're always talking about yourself

295
00:15:38.440 --> 00:15:41.600
or you're always too loud or too big

296
00:15:41.600 --> 00:15:46.600
or not guarded enough in the way that you're sharing,

297
00:15:47.240 --> 00:15:50.000
you're oversharing possibly.

298
00:15:50.000 --> 00:15:52.880
Loud, crazy, messy.

299
00:15:52.880 --> 00:15:54.200
Okay, crazy, messy.

300
00:15:54.200 --> 00:15:56.760
Some people might've even called you a psycho.

301
00:15:56.760 --> 00:15:58.080
Like, oh, she's kind of psycho.

302
00:15:58.080 --> 00:15:59.560
She's a little psycho.

303
00:15:59.560 --> 00:16:02.080
All right, talkative, too open, too much,

304
00:16:02.080 --> 00:16:04.600
laugh too loud, insecure and extra.

305
00:16:04.600 --> 00:16:07.880
Come on, y'all, we're getting honest tonight.

306
00:16:07.880 --> 00:16:09.480
It's good stuff.

307
00:16:09.480 --> 00:16:12.200
Manic, peppy, open, high energy,

308
00:16:12.200 --> 00:16:13.920
know it all, roller coaster.

309
00:16:14.960 --> 00:16:17.440
Someone called you a roller coaster ride.

310
00:16:17.440 --> 00:16:20.160
Bipolar, oh, that's so not fair, right?

311
00:16:20.160 --> 00:16:22.000
Because that's actually a thing.

312
00:16:22.000 --> 00:16:27.000
And it's not funny to put that label on people.

313
00:16:27.240 --> 00:16:30.600
All right, dramatic, too flirty.

314
00:16:30.600 --> 00:16:32.520
Okay, good.

315
00:16:32.520 --> 00:16:34.160
You see this, you guys?

316
00:16:34.160 --> 00:16:35.360
Hopefully you guys are seeing this

317
00:16:35.360 --> 00:16:37.760
and you're feeling like connected to each other

318
00:16:37.760 --> 00:16:40.200
that this isn't something that just happens

319
00:16:40.200 --> 00:16:42.600
to one or two people, you know?

320
00:16:42.600 --> 00:16:45.840
And let's see all of the other adjectives

321
00:16:45.840 --> 00:16:47.280
in the other parts of the spectrum.

322
00:16:47.280 --> 00:16:50.080
We did the two polar parts of the spectrum,

323
00:16:50.080 --> 00:16:53.200
you know, closed off and two open, all right?

324
00:16:53.200 --> 00:16:54.520
So the other parts of the spectrum,

325
00:16:54.560 --> 00:16:57.680
anything that you feel like people have said to you

326
00:16:58.840 --> 00:17:03.840
about the impression that you are making on them

327
00:17:03.840 --> 00:17:06.400
that you didn't like.

328
00:17:06.400 --> 00:17:08.599
Well, we'll talk about the positive ones later,

329
00:17:08.599 --> 00:17:10.359
but let's just talk about the ones that we didn't like,

330
00:17:10.359 --> 00:17:13.280
hurt our feelings, made us feel like closing off

331
00:17:13.280 --> 00:17:15.040
and running away and maybe never talking

332
00:17:15.040 --> 00:17:16.160
to anyone ever again.

333
00:17:17.720 --> 00:17:20.839
Dumb blonde, sheltered, serious, okay.

334
00:17:20.880 --> 00:17:25.040
Too picky, always with the blonde jokes, okay,

335
00:17:25.040 --> 00:17:26.079
which is so dumb, right?

336
00:17:26.079 --> 00:17:30.160
Because very few natural blondes in the world anymore.

337
00:17:30.160 --> 00:17:34.000
Lots of people are blonde, but they weren't born that way.

338
00:17:34.000 --> 00:17:36.160
One thing as a dark haired girl that I have learned

339
00:17:36.160 --> 00:17:38.120
is that blondes have a lot of fun

340
00:17:38.120 --> 00:17:39.680
and they might even have more fun,

341
00:17:39.680 --> 00:17:42.640
but orange haired girls do not.

342
00:17:42.640 --> 00:17:44.680
And anytime I've ever tried dyeing my hair blonde,

343
00:17:44.680 --> 00:17:47.360
that's what color it turns out, orange.

344
00:17:48.720 --> 00:17:50.080
Definitely don't want that.

345
00:17:50.880 --> 00:17:54.560
Taking things too personally, weird, independent, weird.

346
00:17:54.560 --> 00:17:56.560
Okay, people calling you weird.

347
00:17:57.840 --> 00:18:00.600
That you're angry at the world, okay.

348
00:18:03.320 --> 00:18:06.480
Anybody ever gotten, because I know a lot of you

349
00:18:06.480 --> 00:18:09.640
are professing abstinence or celibacy,

350
00:18:09.640 --> 00:18:12.960
anybody ever been told like a goody-goody or a prude,

351
00:18:14.360 --> 00:18:15.440
anything like that?

352
00:18:15.440 --> 00:18:19.880
We got any of those kind of, yeah, goody, prude.

353
00:18:19.880 --> 00:18:20.720
Lucky there.

354
00:18:22.480 --> 00:18:24.600
Goody-two-shoes, yeah, yeah.

355
00:18:25.480 --> 00:18:27.680
Self-righteous, uptight.

356
00:18:27.680 --> 00:18:29.640
There's one, there's a good one.

357
00:18:31.800 --> 00:18:33.320
All right, look at all these, you guys.

358
00:18:33.320 --> 00:18:34.400
These are so good.

359
00:18:36.880 --> 00:18:38.720
So we're coming out of agreement with all of these,

360
00:18:38.720 --> 00:18:39.560
aren't we?

361
00:18:40.640 --> 00:18:42.520
We're gonna come out of agreement with all of them.

362
00:18:42.520 --> 00:18:45.360
We are gonna learn through this program

363
00:18:45.360 --> 00:18:48.600
how to have secure attachment, okay?

364
00:18:48.640 --> 00:18:50.200
We're not gonna have anxious attachment.

365
00:18:50.200 --> 00:18:52.200
We're not gonna have avoidant attachment, okay?

366
00:18:52.200 --> 00:18:54.960
We're not gonna have fearful attachment,

367
00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:56.760
which is a part of anxious attachment.

368
00:18:56.760 --> 00:18:59.320
We're not gonna have any of those things.

369
00:18:59.320 --> 00:19:00.160
We're not gonna have,

370
00:19:00.160 --> 00:19:03.760
all of those are parts and pieces of insecure attachment.

371
00:19:04.720 --> 00:19:08.360
And friends, that's learned very early on in childhood, okay?

372
00:19:08.360 --> 00:19:12.720
And so we are going to learn how to have secure attachment,

373
00:19:12.720 --> 00:19:16.960
which means that we're allowed to hold back parts

374
00:19:16.960 --> 00:19:19.560
of ourselves until we feel it's appropriate

375
00:19:19.560 --> 00:19:21.480
to share those things.

376
00:19:21.480 --> 00:19:24.280
But we're gonna present ourselves in such a way

377
00:19:24.280 --> 00:19:26.240
that it's never gonna feel like we're holding out

378
00:19:26.240 --> 00:19:27.800
on someone.

379
00:19:27.800 --> 00:19:30.520
And we're gonna begin to see very quickly

380
00:19:30.520 --> 00:19:33.680
the people who want too much too soon

381
00:19:33.680 --> 00:19:37.360
for the wrong reasons, right?

382
00:19:37.360 --> 00:19:40.080
This is how we can avoid going a hundred miles an hour

383
00:19:40.080 --> 00:19:42.280
down a dead end road in relationship.

384
00:19:43.280 --> 00:19:44.200
Anybody else?

385
00:19:46.120 --> 00:19:49.640
With the love bombers, with the people that want to,

386
00:19:49.640 --> 00:19:52.000
you know, act like you've known each other all your life

387
00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:54.400
after only a two hour conversation.

388
00:19:56.160 --> 00:19:59.160
Those very rarely, if ever, turn into any kind

389
00:19:59.160 --> 00:20:00.760
of healthy relationships.

390
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:05.160
relationship. Okay. I want you guys to get real honest. Now. I want you to raise your

391
00:20:05.160 --> 00:20:13.960
hand. If you are that person that likes to make very quick bonding with people, whether

392
00:20:13.960 --> 00:20:17.480
it doesn't have to just be men, it can be women as well. Like you're the kind of person

393
00:20:17.480 --> 00:20:22.840
who you leave the party and you are best friends with someone that you just met your besties.

394
00:20:22.840 --> 00:20:27.160
Now, now you're besties. Okay. You're going to get bracelets. You're going to braid each

395
00:20:27.160 --> 00:20:34.840
other's hair later, your besties, you know, way too much about each other's lives. Okay.

396
00:20:34.840 --> 00:20:38.840
You've let them all the way in the vault because you felt comfortable with them. They felt

397
00:20:38.840 --> 00:20:44.240
so familiar to you. Okay. All right. Now, for those that are being honest and saying

398
00:20:44.240 --> 00:20:48.200
yes to that, I want to see a thumbs up for those of you that that relationship eventually

399
00:20:48.200 --> 00:20:56.260
turned bad. That relationship eventually turned what we call toxic. There was a falling out.

400
00:20:56.260 --> 00:21:02.720
You got hurt. They got hurt something. It just wasn't, it wasn't good. They betrayed

401
00:21:02.720 --> 00:21:07.780
you or they just disappeared. You know, they ghosted you. It didn't end up being the relationship

402
00:21:07.780 --> 00:21:14.580
that you thought it was kind of thing. All right. So that is pretty much what happens

403
00:21:14.580 --> 00:21:18.900
usually in that. One of the things that I want us to really understand is that we are

404
00:21:18.900 --> 00:21:24.700
worth getting to know. I want you to say that to yourself right now. I am worth getting

405
00:21:24.700 --> 00:21:32.980
to know. Come on. Let's say it. I am worth getting to know I am I'm worth getting to

406
00:21:32.980 --> 00:21:42.540
know. And then I want you to add this to that over time. I am worth getting to know over

407
00:21:42.540 --> 00:21:48.340
time. Okay. Here's another declaration that we're going to say, ladies, I want to see

408
00:21:48.340 --> 00:21:52.820
your mouths moving because I can't say this for you and death and life are in the power

409
00:21:52.820 --> 00:21:58.740
of your tongue, not mine. I mean, for me, mine, and then of course, over you mine, but

410
00:21:58.740 --> 00:22:05.800
you have to say this over yourself. I am worth getting to know over time. I am worth getting

411
00:22:05.800 --> 00:22:13.340
to know over time. Right. And here's the next thing I want you to say, this is not a flash

412
00:22:13.340 --> 00:22:25.940
sale. This is not a flash sale. I am not a flash sale, right? I don't have a limited

413
00:22:25.940 --> 00:22:30.620
amount of time to try to sell this person into wanting me or liking me. This is not

414
00:22:30.620 --> 00:22:38.140
a flash sale. And whether that's for the job, whether that's for the friendship, whether

415
00:22:38.140 --> 00:22:50.380
that's for the romantic, um, you know, potential, it's not a flash sale. And it isn't. And the

416
00:22:50.380 --> 00:22:57.140
reason why we do this so badly is because we have all different types of belief systems

417
00:22:57.140 --> 00:23:07.380
attached to our value to other people, right? Our value to other people, what we have to

418
00:23:07.620 --> 00:23:13.860
offer them. Some of us feel like we have to show what we have to offer really fast. Otherwise

419
00:23:13.860 --> 00:23:18.900
there's so many choices. People are just going to move on. This is why some of you get sexual

420
00:23:18.900 --> 00:23:24.980
with people really quick. Do you want to make sure you leave an impression? It's not the

421
00:23:24.980 --> 00:23:32.420
right impression, friends. You don't have to prove your worth that quickly. You don't

422
00:23:32.420 --> 00:23:36.740
have to do that. All right. So let's dig down into the, for those of you that that's true

423
00:23:36.740 --> 00:23:40.740
of like, you feel like you gotta, you gotta make that deep connection quick, whether it's

424
00:23:40.740 --> 00:23:45.580
with a friendship or whether it's at the interview or whether it's with someone that you're meeting

425
00:23:45.580 --> 00:23:53.620
online. I want you to dig into what's underneath that. You have middle child syndrome. Have

426
00:23:53.620 --> 00:23:57.780
you always been surrounded by other people who you feel like they're the ones that get

427
00:23:57.780 --> 00:24:03.620
the role, they get the job, they get the boy, you know, you're trying to, you know, elbow

428
00:24:03.700 --> 00:24:10.260
your way in there and get a shot. Right. Do you feel like you have to immediately show

429
00:24:10.260 --> 00:24:18.820
someone what you can do for them so that they will want you in their life? I want you to

430
00:24:18.820 --> 00:24:22.820
be honest right now. Holy spirit's just leading the course here. Cause I don't, I don't even

431
00:24:22.820 --> 00:24:27.700
know what we're going to talk about necessarily tonight, but I want you to be honest. How

432
00:24:27.700 --> 00:24:38.580
many of you would say, I have offered someone that I hardly know something that I shouldn't

433
00:24:38.580 --> 00:24:43.860
have offered them to watch their kids or your discount that you work because you work at a

434
00:24:43.860 --> 00:24:48.020
store or some kind of connection to get them something that they were talking about that

435
00:24:48.020 --> 00:24:54.340
they want. You offered someone something that you barely know. And a lot of times we're like,

436
00:24:54.340 --> 00:25:00.260
Oh, I'm just being polite. I'm just being helpful. I'm just being friendly. No, we're trying.

437
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:07.920
whether we know it or not, to show people that we're valuable. Right?

438
00:25:11.200 --> 00:25:14.000
We're trying to show people that we're valuable. Look at all those yeses.

439
00:25:15.600 --> 00:25:19.440
Oh, you, you know, you want to, you know, you want to connect to me because I'm valuable. Like

440
00:25:19.440 --> 00:25:25.360
I'm going to do stuff for you. I'm going to help you. The problem with this is, is that when you

441
00:25:25.360 --> 00:25:33.680
start out any relationship like that, what usually happens is you create a giver taker

442
00:25:33.680 --> 00:25:38.080
relationship where you're the giver and they're the taker. And it usually does not become reciprocal.

443
00:25:42.800 --> 00:25:52.720
Right? I don't know about you, but I mean, unless it's some kind of emergency,

444
00:25:52.720 --> 00:25:56.800
emergency situation, and someone offers me assistance, that's a stranger.

445
00:25:57.760 --> 00:26:02.480
If someone who I'm just meeting is offering to do something for me, that should come within

446
00:26:02.480 --> 00:26:06.960
the context of deeper relationship. That makes me feel uncomfortable. And I'm going to say no.

447
00:26:06.960 --> 00:26:10.560
And it's not because I don't know how to receive it's because I have boundaries.

448
00:26:13.200 --> 00:26:17.440
So usually the answer to that is, Oh, that's so kind of you. Thank you so much. You know,

449
00:26:17.440 --> 00:26:23.280
I'm going to pass. Thank you so much. That's so kind. But then you don't, you don't do it.

450
00:26:24.880 --> 00:26:27.040
Right? Why is that? Because you don't know that person.

451
00:26:28.880 --> 00:26:32.960
You don't know that person. And the only time there's an exception to that is maybe when you've

452
00:26:32.960 --> 00:26:36.640
really been, really been praying for a solution to something. And then the solution just kind of

453
00:26:36.640 --> 00:26:41.600
comes out of nowhere and out of someone that you don't know, maybe, but you've been praying and

454
00:26:41.600 --> 00:26:47.280
you've really been asking God to help you to get, you know, whatever that is done. And so of course,

455
00:26:47.280 --> 00:26:51.040
God is the source, but he's the head of the human resource department and he will send

456
00:26:51.040 --> 00:26:59.520
human resources to help us. But you know, and I know when there's strings attached to something,

457
00:26:59.520 --> 00:27:04.880
even if the strings that are attached to something, is that person feeling like you like them now

458
00:27:06.800 --> 00:27:10.240
feeling like now how they get to be your friend. And the thing is, it's not,

459
00:27:10.240 --> 00:27:13.360
it doesn't mean that you wouldn't even be friends with them. It just means it doesn't

460
00:27:13.360 --> 00:27:21.040
have to come like that. I hope this is helping someone because God wants you to be loved for you

461
00:27:22.080 --> 00:27:27.280
and not for what you do for other people. It's beautiful. If you have a, if you have a helper

462
00:27:27.280 --> 00:27:32.960
gift, if you are a helper, that's a beautiful gift, but that gift is the one that gets overextended

463
00:27:32.960 --> 00:27:39.040
the most in this world. People that have been called with the gift of helps. They're the ones

464
00:27:39.040 --> 00:27:43.600
that get overextended the most in this world, because usually they are givers that attract

465
00:27:43.600 --> 00:27:52.480
takers. And that's a true story, right? So we want to, we want to let Holy spirit speak to all of us

466
00:27:52.480 --> 00:27:56.640
in different ways right now, all of us have different relationship with the things that

467
00:27:56.640 --> 00:28:03.120
are being released right now. And so you don't, don't take it, take it the way that it's hitting

468
00:28:03.120 --> 00:28:09.440
you. All right. Cause we all need different things right now. So let's get down into the

469
00:28:09.440 --> 00:28:15.120
first breakout session. Who do you pretend to be? Are you pretending to be the person that

470
00:28:15.120 --> 00:28:19.200
nothing ever bothers your pen, pretending to be the person that has it all together,

471
00:28:19.200 --> 00:28:24.400
that has all the answers. It doesn't need any help. Or are you also pretending to be the basket

472
00:28:24.400 --> 00:28:29.360
case? That's right. You're not the basket case. God, it's not your real identity. And so if you're

473
00:28:29.360 --> 00:28:36.320
the person that is the perpetual victim, that also is a mask. That's also a mask to get attention,

474
00:28:36.320 --> 00:28:42.320
to get help, to, you know, to, um, have people feel sorry for you, you know, whatever it is,

475
00:28:42.320 --> 00:28:51.040
who are you pretending to be? What mask do you have on in different areas of your life?

476
00:28:52.000 --> 00:28:56.160
I'm going to put you in breakout sessions and I want you to go ahead and, you know,

477
00:28:57.120 --> 00:29:01.200
don't give the, don't give the answer that you wrote down on your, on your homework. And don't,

478
00:29:01.200 --> 00:29:06.000
don't even give the answer that you might be like, Oh yeah, well, that makes sense. I want you to

479
00:29:06.000 --> 00:29:11.360
really ask Holy spirit. When you get into these breakouts, just take, just take, you know, 60

480
00:29:11.360 --> 00:29:16.800
seconds for everyone to just be quiet, close your eyes and really ask Holy spirit, you know, what

481
00:29:16.800 --> 00:29:22.560
masks do I wear? And then let's share those. Okay. All right. Because they might be counterintuitive.

482
00:29:22.560 --> 00:29:26.320
They might be masks that you're like, you know, I didn't even think that was a mask, Jackie,

483
00:29:27.040 --> 00:29:31.040
you know, I wouldn't have even thought about that as a mask. So let's give that a shot.

484
00:29:32.080 --> 00:29:36.320
I'm going to take it over here. Let's see what kind of breakouts we're going to have. All right.

485
00:29:41.120 --> 00:29:46.720
Make sure that everyone shares and you guys don't try to fix each other. If someone says,

486
00:29:46.720 --> 00:29:51.440
you know, my mask is, and it's something that's just like shocking, you know, don't try to fix

487
00:29:51.440 --> 00:29:58.480
them. You know, they're confessing this. That is good for them. The Bible says confession brings

488
00:29:58.480 --> 00:29:59.760
healing. And so we want to do.

489
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:09.000
That and then we'll come back and we'll have a few brave souls share okay looks like there's two to three participants per group there's 50 groups.

490
00:30:10.320 --> 00:30:11.560
All right, let me make sure.

491
00:30:12.840 --> 00:30:13.400
Right.

492
00:30:15.240 --> 00:30:16.840
47 groups all right here we go.

493
00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:54.480
I tried to just laugh it off and act like it doesn't hurt so I try to be stronger, I guess.

494
00:30:55.840 --> 00:30:56.640
Is she married.

495
00:30:57.600 --> 00:31:00.720
Yes, she actually got married.

496
00:31:03.680 --> 00:31:09.280
She's been married for over 20 years, and they have a bad marriage but

497
00:31:10.720 --> 00:31:14.080
she turned 40 in May and got married in June.

498
00:31:15.920 --> 00:31:18.960
Okay, all right and are you 40 yet?

499
00:31:20.240 --> 00:31:21.280
I'm 54.

500
00:31:22.240 --> 00:31:24.080
Oh well all right girl you're looking good.

501
00:31:26.640 --> 00:31:28.080
Thanks, I appreciate it.

502
00:31:29.840 --> 00:31:31.680
All right, ladies, welcome back.

503
00:31:31.680 --> 00:31:36.720
Thank you ladies that were here with me and didn't make it to a breakout room sometimes

504
00:31:36.720 --> 00:31:42.400
technology doesn't work and that's okay so we got a time we had a chance to share here.

505
00:31:42.400 --> 00:31:47.680
So we're going to take a couple more take like maybe let's see what time is it yeah we'll take

506
00:31:47.680 --> 00:31:53.840
about two, two or three people that want to share their masks some of the masks that my group shared

507
00:31:54.400 --> 00:31:58.640
while you guys were out was that that they feel like they always have to present

508
00:31:59.200 --> 00:32:05.200
that they're happy that they're okay that everything's okay right and then another one

509
00:32:05.200 --> 00:32:10.960
is they have to the mask that they wear is I have to do it all by myself so really independent

510
00:32:10.960 --> 00:32:14.720
the independent mask I don't need anyone I don't need any help I don't want to ask for help

511
00:32:15.520 --> 00:32:21.920
and then the last one was the same thing is that you know that I'm okay specifically being single

512
00:32:21.920 --> 00:32:26.400
is the mask that Becky shared you know I'm okay being single like I'm all right you know

513
00:32:27.520 --> 00:32:32.640
and so those are some good ones all right so let's see what we got let's

514
00:32:32.640 --> 00:32:36.560
put your hand up if you want to share okay Meg go for it.

515
00:32:39.280 --> 00:32:44.240
So I told my group I actually listened earlier today and I was kind of laughing that

516
00:32:45.040 --> 00:32:48.800
internally you're saying don't use what you wrote down because I kind of used the examples

517
00:32:49.360 --> 00:32:52.880
this morning when we were doing it I was using the examples that were kind of given but

518
00:32:52.880 --> 00:32:57.440
something you said before you sent us to break out really kind of triggered with me about the

519
00:32:57.440 --> 00:33:04.080
kind of the chaotic person and it really kind of triggered that I think I come off like I have a

520
00:33:04.080 --> 00:33:10.640
very dramatic or very drama-filled life but I really am not like a drama-filled person or have

521
00:33:10.640 --> 00:33:16.400
this very dramatic life like I live a pretty low-key life but I think I put out there maybe

522
00:33:16.400 --> 00:33:22.640
more that looks like I do have this a lot of drama a lot of stuff going on when I really don't

523
00:33:23.520 --> 00:33:28.480
the other one I shared though is that I I feel like I'm in the career field that gives me meaning

524
00:33:29.200 --> 00:33:34.880
and purpose but not the job but I still just tell everybody oh yeah the job's great I love it you

525
00:33:34.880 --> 00:33:43.680
know and so that's a hard one too. Yeah okay so why do you think that you you try to give off

526
00:33:43.680 --> 00:33:47.440
or you're realizing you maybe you're not trying but you are giving off

527
00:33:47.440 --> 00:33:52.720
more of a chaotic type of vibe? I don't know I think

528
00:33:56.560 --> 00:34:01.280
I think I a lot of times I think what I share is about my kids and sometimes they have like

529
00:34:01.280 --> 00:34:04.960
some weird things going on like various doctor visits and stuff but like

530
00:34:06.560 --> 00:34:09.360
I think I think I tend to share those more probably than I share

531
00:34:10.320 --> 00:34:15.120
the happy things so like the just mundane kind of things especially it's so easy on social media

532
00:34:15.120 --> 00:34:19.600
because I know my group on social media is really just the friends and the family like that I know

533
00:34:19.600 --> 00:34:26.080
personally I keep it very small and so it's it kind of it just feels like a safe place to share

534
00:34:26.080 --> 00:34:31.280
maybe some of the negative things that go on but I really don't always take the time to share the

535
00:34:31.280 --> 00:34:38.080
happy mundane positive things so then when I look back it looks like it's just like drama all the

536
00:34:38.080 --> 00:34:43.920
time but it's really not it's just kind of this are you saying this is on social media it's social

537
00:34:43.920 --> 00:34:48.400
media but I think I do it with my like with people that I know in person too like I'm more likely to

538
00:34:48.400 --> 00:34:52.960
share like what's been going on like oh yeah Maddie went to this doctor appointment or that or this

539
00:34:54.000 --> 00:34:59.920
yeah everybody wants my drama um and so it's easier to share that than old

540
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.880
it's just the mundane or be like, Oh yeah, no, nothing's really going on.

541
00:35:03.520 --> 00:35:10.560
Do you think that it's possible that you share the struggles, um, more because it is an

542
00:35:10.560 --> 00:35:20.400
unconscious, um, ask for support? Sure. Absolutely. Support validation. Single

543
00:35:20.400 --> 00:35:26.160
momming is very hard. Um, and in the validation. Yeah, absolutely.

544
00:35:27.120 --> 00:35:32.400
So it's important, um, ladies that here's the thing, you know, we want to make sure that we

545
00:35:32.400 --> 00:35:37.280
are sharing our struggles with others. And, you know, you guys are going to do an entire,

546
00:35:37.280 --> 00:35:41.760
you know, week on confession, repentance, two weeks on confession, repentance, and forgiveness.

547
00:35:41.760 --> 00:35:47.280
And so it's important that we are sharing our struggles appropriately. We don't ever want to,

548
00:35:47.280 --> 00:35:52.160
um, show up with the smiles all the time. And especially if we're in a season where

549
00:35:52.160 --> 00:35:57.920
life is just kind of hard, um, you know, single moms, you know, kids that have issues,

550
00:35:57.920 --> 00:36:02.720
behavior problems, different things, health problems, um, just single momming in general,

551
00:36:02.720 --> 00:36:06.640
um, other things that you might be going through. And so please don't ever feel like,

552
00:36:07.680 --> 00:36:13.840
you know, you're showing up as the squeaky wheel because sometimes, you know, we really,

553
00:36:13.840 --> 00:36:18.560
we really just need, um, someone to support us and tell us that we're doing a good job and affirm

554
00:36:18.560 --> 00:36:21.840
us and different things like that. So that's all super important. And we definitely want to make

555
00:36:21.840 --> 00:36:27.360
sure, um, that, that we're allowing people, um, to, to give us that feedback and give us that

556
00:36:27.360 --> 00:36:32.880
support by telling people that we're hurting or that we need help. All right. So that's good.

557
00:36:32.880 --> 00:36:36.480
All right. So thanks for sharing. And then we have, we're only going to take two more shares

558
00:36:36.480 --> 00:36:40.880
on this one. So maybe some of you could volunteer next time. The next person that had their hand up

559
00:36:40.880 --> 00:36:46.560
was, is it Viddy? Do I say VD Viddy? I know I've met you in person. I think, um, at one of the

560
00:36:46.560 --> 00:36:52.000
single city events in Reading, right? Are you here?

561
00:36:57.040 --> 00:37:03.040
V I D I. How do we say it? Sorry about that. I just turned on my, my mic. Yes. It's VD.

562
00:37:03.920 --> 00:37:11.920
VD. VD. Say it again. VD. Got it. Yeah. Nice to see you too. What is your, what's your answer?

563
00:37:12.000 --> 00:37:17.920
What kind of mass girl you got on? Ooh, little miss independent. Um, I was just talking to my

564
00:37:17.920 --> 00:37:23.280
person that I was in the room with, and I guess we're pretty much in the same boat. I don't know

565
00:37:23.280 --> 00:37:28.320
what it is. I don't know if it's because I'm an only child, if that has anything to play with it,

566
00:37:28.320 --> 00:37:35.680
but I've just always, um, just put on a front of, um, I I've got it all together,

567
00:37:35.680 --> 00:37:40.320
even though I'm falling apart on the inside. Like I just did three years of ministry school

568
00:37:40.320 --> 00:37:46.800
and pretty much up until the very end, I decided to fully surrender and like get delivered of some

569
00:37:46.800 --> 00:37:53.200
things, but it, I just, I don't know, I couldn't be open and vulnerable in front of people. So I

570
00:37:53.200 --> 00:38:00.880
know that that wasn't wisdom. Well, it's also a horrible, horrible, horrible trait for ministry

571
00:38:03.040 --> 00:38:07.280
because the whole, you know, the whole, the whole point in ministering is being able to be

572
00:38:07.280 --> 00:38:11.680
vulnerable. So I feel like little miss independent comes out of a couple of different things.

573
00:38:11.680 --> 00:38:17.120
Um, so let me ask you about the only child part of it. Um, were you the only child of parents

574
00:38:17.120 --> 00:38:24.320
that had expectations for you to do it yourself? Um, were you pushed into like perfectionism at

575
00:38:24.320 --> 00:38:29.760
all? I don't think I was pushed into perfectionism. I think that it just kind of naturally evolved

576
00:38:30.720 --> 00:38:40.640
because you are born to achieve her parents. Um, yes, culturally. Okay. Okay. And so you're a girl

577
00:38:40.640 --> 00:38:45.440
and you're born to achieve her parents. And so it was just expected for you to maybe grow up a

578
00:38:45.440 --> 00:38:51.200
little quicker, have things together a little faster. Yes, ma'am. Okay. Right. Well, you are

579
00:38:52.160 --> 00:39:02.480
allowed to be messy. Okay. You're allowed to not have it all figured out. Um, you're allowed to not

580
00:39:02.480 --> 00:39:06.880
have the answers and not be, you know, you're allowed to come into rooms where you're not

581
00:39:06.880 --> 00:39:12.480
expected to, you know, take control, take charge, be the leader. You're allowed to just sit back and

582
00:39:12.480 --> 00:39:16.960
let other people do, you know, so you need to start giving yourself some permissions here.

583
00:39:17.520 --> 00:39:24.880
Um, I think it was Becky that said, um, was it Becky? One of the women that were with me when

584
00:39:24.880 --> 00:39:30.720
all of you were in the breakout said that she does it all by herself. And so the antidote to this,

585
00:39:30.720 --> 00:39:35.040
I really want you guys to hear this, the antidote to whatever mass that you guys are admitting to,

586
00:39:35.040 --> 00:39:41.760
like what VD just said is the opposite. So whoever said that they, um, they do it all

587
00:39:41.760 --> 00:39:48.320
by themselves because they don't want to be let down anymore. The antidote to coming out of that

588
00:39:48.880 --> 00:39:53.440
false counterfeit identity, that pretender identity is that you are going to have to

589
00:39:53.440 --> 00:39:57.360
get super uncomfortable and ask people for help. Even if you don't need it,

590
00:39:58.880 --> 00:39:59.840
even if you don't need.

591
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.160
it. I will tell you marriage minded, men, marriage minded men that truly want to be

592
00:40:04.160 --> 00:40:08.720
husbands. They are not looking for self-sufficient women. They're not looking for basket cases.

593
00:40:09.520 --> 00:40:15.200
All right. They're not looking for women who, you know, have all kinds of vices and living in sin

594
00:40:15.200 --> 00:40:19.760
and can't get it together, but they're also not looking for women who don't need them.

595
00:40:20.800 --> 00:40:24.960
And I know we live in a modern culture that says, oh, we don't need men meant we don't need each

596
00:40:24.960 --> 00:40:28.560
other. We're not supposed to need each other really. Cause that's not what my Bible says.

597
00:40:29.200 --> 00:40:35.440
My Bible says that God looked at Adam and says he needs, that's the word,

598
00:40:36.880 --> 00:40:44.080
a suitable helper. He needs a help mate. He needs a complimentary opposite. He needs,

599
00:40:44.080 --> 00:40:49.520
he didn't say he wants, he didn't say, oh, look at poor Adam. I don't think he's happy. I think

600
00:40:49.520 --> 00:40:54.720
he wants something more than what I've provided in creation. No, he looked at it and said,

601
00:40:54.720 --> 00:41:01.680
it's not good. It's not complete. He needs a suitable helper. It's important that we

602
00:41:01.680 --> 00:41:05.600
understand that because we need to come out of agreement with culture right now,

603
00:41:06.160 --> 00:41:11.200
because ever since second wave feminism, I'll tell you the reason why women don't want to need men,

604
00:41:11.200 --> 00:41:16.560
because there's been a lot of oppression in our history. There was a point in time, believe it or

605
00:41:16.560 --> 00:41:20.480
not just about a hundred years ago where women couldn't own property. They couldn't sign their

606
00:41:20.480 --> 00:41:26.960
own signatures on the dotted line. They were kind of property in and of themselves to marriages.

607
00:41:26.960 --> 00:41:32.080
Marriages were more financial agreements than anything else. And a woman needed to get married

608
00:41:32.080 --> 00:41:36.720
if she wasn't going to live in poverty. And guess what women didn't really like that. And the reason

609
00:41:36.720 --> 00:41:40.160
why they didn't like it is because a lot of them were forced to be in loveless marriages.

610
00:41:41.280 --> 00:41:44.400
That, like I said, were more business transactions than anything else,

611
00:41:45.200 --> 00:41:51.360
where they were existing for the purpose of taking care of and taking care of house and

612
00:41:51.360 --> 00:41:55.360
taking care of some man and having his children and all those things where there wasn't love

613
00:41:55.360 --> 00:42:00.960
and there wasn't affection. And there wasn't even maybe sometimes safety.

614
00:42:01.920 --> 00:42:06.480
All right. But those days are over. Maybe out with a bath water. We can come back around to

615
00:42:06.480 --> 00:42:13.280
God's original bid for marriage. And how do that means that I need a husband. I need my

616
00:42:13.280 --> 00:42:19.280
complimentary opposite. I need my partner. I need my helpmate. I need my husband. I need my

617
00:42:19.280 --> 00:42:26.240
partner. I need my husband. I need my husband. I need my partner. I need my partner. I need my

618
00:42:26.240 --> 00:42:32.560
complimentary opposite. I need my partner. I need my helpmate. I need my man. And the sooner that

619
00:42:32.560 --> 00:42:37.920
you can admit that self, that to yourself, the better. All right. We're not called to be

620
00:42:37.920 --> 00:42:43.280
codependent. This is not a situation where we're going to be sucking each other. It's life energy

621
00:42:43.280 --> 00:42:50.080
and depleting each other. It's an interdependent relationship. Okay. A threefold cord with God at

622
00:42:50.080 --> 00:42:56.000
the center, right? Important stuff. I want to take one more in this category. And the next person was

623
00:42:56.800 --> 00:43:03.120
so Samantha, tell us what mask you wear and the rest of you can put your masks up in the comments.

624
00:43:04.480 --> 00:43:10.240
Yeah. So I just said, like, I try to be like, show everybody that I'm strong all the time.

625
00:43:11.120 --> 00:43:16.240
And I think generally speaking, I am a strong person, but I don't really want to wear that

626
00:43:16.240 --> 00:43:20.080
mask anymore. Like, cause I, there's times where I kind of put on that massive, Hey, I'm strong.

627
00:43:20.080 --> 00:43:25.040
But on the inside, I'm like, I am not strong at all. So that's mine.

628
00:43:26.880 --> 00:43:29.680
And you know what, you know what the dangerous of, of always

629
00:43:31.600 --> 00:43:38.880
presenting strength is that it's so exhausting. Oh my gosh. It's so exhausting to have to always

630
00:43:38.880 --> 00:43:41.920
be strong. Isn't it y'all raise your hand. If you would admit that you would love to

631
00:43:41.920 --> 00:43:45.680
be a passenger princess and just get in the passenger seat and let someone else figure

632
00:43:45.680 --> 00:43:51.600
it out for a while, raise your hand. If you just like to just let someone else, mainly a man,

633
00:43:51.600 --> 00:43:57.520
I'm talking about a man, a good man, a man who's wise and a man who listens to the Lord,

634
00:43:57.520 --> 00:44:02.560
just let him figure it out for a little while. You know, well, my mom passed away and I had

635
00:44:02.560 --> 00:44:10.720
been in that ICU for a month watching her pass and all the crazy years of her, you know, basically

636
00:44:10.720 --> 00:44:16.560
getting sicker and sicker and dying before that month in the ICU. When I came out of that, y'all,

637
00:44:16.560 --> 00:44:19.840
I didn't want to make any decisions. I didn't want to make a decision about what was for breakfast.

638
00:44:19.840 --> 00:44:24.240
I didn't want to do anything. All I wanted to do was let my husband take the wheel.

639
00:44:24.800 --> 00:44:28.800
That's it. And there were some really huge things that happened right on the heels of my mom's

640
00:44:28.800 --> 00:44:33.440
passing. And guess what? My husband, I was just like, I just, I don't, I can't think about it.

641
00:44:33.440 --> 00:44:37.600
They were really serious decisions that had to be made that involved my health, that involved all

642
00:44:37.600 --> 00:44:42.000
kinds of things. And I was able to lean into my husband because if you've ever been in a place

643
00:44:42.000 --> 00:44:45.520
where you just feel like you can't hear from God, you have a good relationship with him, but you're

644
00:44:45.520 --> 00:44:51.760
so overwhelmed and you're so tired out that you just do not know what's going on. It is so good

645
00:44:51.760 --> 00:44:57.040
to be able to be in covenant relationship with someone who has your best interests at heart

646
00:44:57.040 --> 00:44:59.840
and can hear God for you in those moments. But in order to do that.

647
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:01.840
Ladies, you gotta trust that person.

648
00:45:02.760 --> 00:45:03.860
You gotta trust them.

649
00:45:04.880 --> 00:45:08.240
And trust is not something that is given right away,

650
00:45:08.240 --> 00:45:09.840
little bits and pieces of it are,

651
00:45:09.840 --> 00:45:12.000
but over the course of time.

652
00:45:12.000 --> 00:45:13.320
And I wanna say something about insecure

653
00:45:13.320 --> 00:45:15.360
versus secure attachment.

654
00:45:15.360 --> 00:45:16.580
Insecure attachment,

655
00:45:17.500 --> 00:45:20.640
secure attachment in a relationship does not come overnight.

656
00:45:20.640 --> 00:45:22.720
And it doesn't mean that you're,

657
00:45:22.720 --> 00:45:24.160
have an anxious attachment style

658
00:45:24.160 --> 00:45:25.800
or an avoidant attachment style.

659
00:45:25.800 --> 00:45:28.760
It just means that that person has not gotten

660
00:45:28.800 --> 00:45:31.880
to that clearance level of trust yet.

661
00:45:31.880 --> 00:45:33.240
And it doesn't make you closed off

662
00:45:33.240 --> 00:45:34.800
and it doesn't make you wrong.

663
00:45:34.800 --> 00:45:35.960
I mean, I've been married,

664
00:45:35.960 --> 00:45:38.840
we're gonna be celebrating our 16th anniversary

665
00:45:38.840 --> 00:45:40.560
this coming weekend.

666
00:45:40.560 --> 00:45:43.840
And there are things that I trust my husband with

667
00:45:43.840 --> 00:45:45.200
without even thinking about it

668
00:45:45.200 --> 00:45:47.960
that maybe I didn't even trust him with five years ago.

669
00:45:47.960 --> 00:45:49.600
And it wasn't because he was untrustworthy,

670
00:45:49.600 --> 00:45:52.200
it's because trust is something

671
00:45:52.200 --> 00:45:55.680
that grows and grows and grows, right?

672
00:45:55.680 --> 00:45:56.880
It's important for us to understand

673
00:45:56.880 --> 00:45:58.760
that secure attachment with someone

674
00:45:58.760 --> 00:46:00.280
is not something that you're gonna have

675
00:46:00.280 --> 00:46:02.560
right from the very beginning of relationship.

676
00:46:02.560 --> 00:46:05.120
It's something that's gonna grow over time.

677
00:46:05.120 --> 00:46:08.400
All right, so Samantha, thank you for sharing that.

678
00:46:08.400 --> 00:46:09.440
That's good.

679
00:46:09.440 --> 00:46:10.760
That's a good one.

680
00:46:10.760 --> 00:46:12.440
Did the rest of you guys put it in there?

681
00:46:12.440 --> 00:46:16.240
Okay, distraction, the distracted person.

682
00:46:16.240 --> 00:46:17.760
Come on, y'all, we gotta get,

683
00:46:17.760 --> 00:46:20.400
we're gonna start uncovering these layers for later.

684
00:46:21.600 --> 00:46:23.440
We gotta uncover these layers for later.

685
00:46:23.440 --> 00:46:25.360
I don't know if I said this in the teaching videos,

686
00:46:25.360 --> 00:46:27.200
the ones that you watched that were prerecorded,

687
00:46:27.200 --> 00:46:29.920
but when I first married my husband,

688
00:46:29.920 --> 00:46:31.800
he's an only child, by the way, you guys,

689
00:46:31.800 --> 00:46:34.880
and definitely kind of a perfectionist.

690
00:46:34.880 --> 00:46:38.440
When I first married him, every once in a while,

691
00:46:38.440 --> 00:46:41.080
I would hear him kind of getting loud in the other room,

692
00:46:41.080 --> 00:46:43.320
like working on something, just getting loud,

693
00:46:43.320 --> 00:46:46.040
getting exasperated, getting frustrated.

694
00:46:46.040 --> 00:46:47.800
And every time I would hear him doing that,

695
00:46:47.800 --> 00:46:51.160
he'd be like, come on, Dave, what's wrong with you, Dave?

696
00:46:51.160 --> 00:46:54.320
Come on, get it together, Dave.

697
00:46:54.320 --> 00:46:58.680
And I'd be like, what's going on?

698
00:46:58.680 --> 00:47:00.000
So I'd come in there and I'd be like,

699
00:47:00.000 --> 00:47:01.560
I'd just kind of peek around the corner and be like,

700
00:47:01.560 --> 00:47:03.640
hey, who's Dave?

701
00:47:05.160 --> 00:47:07.800
Because first of all, his name's David, right?

702
00:47:07.800 --> 00:47:10.320
And I don't call him Dave.

703
00:47:10.320 --> 00:47:13.160
And I was just like, what's happening here?

704
00:47:13.160 --> 00:47:14.360
And he'd be like, man, I just can't,

705
00:47:14.360 --> 00:47:15.600
you know, I can't figure this out.

706
00:47:15.600 --> 00:47:17.120
And I'm just, he be,

707
00:47:17.120 --> 00:47:20.320
that was what he called himself when he got frustrated.

708
00:47:20.320 --> 00:47:22.280
Like this counterfeit version,

709
00:47:22.280 --> 00:47:25.800
like this imposter version of my husband is this,

710
00:47:25.800 --> 00:47:29.880
this loser idiot who can't do things right named Dave.

711
00:47:32.240 --> 00:47:33.840
And I'm not calling him a loser idiot.

712
00:47:33.840 --> 00:47:36.400
He's calling him a loser idiot.

713
00:47:36.400 --> 00:47:41.400
And most of y'all have like an alternate ego like that,

714
00:47:41.440 --> 00:47:44.040
you know, a part of yourself where you're just like,

715
00:47:44.040 --> 00:47:46.560
come on, right?

716
00:47:47.440 --> 00:47:50.440
Don't we all, we might not have another name for them.

717
00:47:50.480 --> 00:47:55.360
Might not have be that, that far evolved in that situation.

718
00:47:55.360 --> 00:47:57.960
But you know, the more that my husband has come into healing

719
00:47:57.960 --> 00:48:01.600
of accepting that, you know, that he's messy sometimes

720
00:48:01.600 --> 00:48:03.080
and he doesn't have it all together

721
00:48:03.080 --> 00:48:05.280
and he's not supposed to have it all together

722
00:48:05.280 --> 00:48:08.040
and leaning into sonship.

723
00:48:08.040 --> 00:48:10.720
That's what that Jesus Cares Board is all about.

724
00:48:10.720 --> 00:48:12.640
I had a student the other day say, man, you know,

725
00:48:12.640 --> 00:48:14.560
my Jesus Cares Board is bumming me out.

726
00:48:14.560 --> 00:48:16.280
And I'm like, what, why?

727
00:48:16.280 --> 00:48:18.720
Because like every day I look at it

728
00:48:18.720 --> 00:48:21.360
and I see all the problems that I have.

729
00:48:21.360 --> 00:48:23.800
And, you know, I'm trying to figure out how to fix them.

730
00:48:23.800 --> 00:48:24.800
And I see all the problems that I have

731
00:48:24.800 --> 00:48:25.800
and I'm praying over them.

732
00:48:25.800 --> 00:48:28.320
And I feel like all I do is just focus on my problems

733
00:48:28.320 --> 00:48:29.960
now that I have this Jesus Cares Board.

734
00:48:29.960 --> 00:48:32.280
And I'm like, that's cause you're doing it wrong.

735
00:48:32.280 --> 00:48:34.240
The whole purpose of the Jesus Cares Board

736
00:48:34.240 --> 00:48:36.400
is to take all the things that you can't fix

737
00:48:36.400 --> 00:48:39.520
that you don't know the solutions to, right?

738
00:48:39.520 --> 00:48:41.400
You can't change those things.

739
00:48:41.400 --> 00:48:43.120
And instead of worrying about them

740
00:48:43.120 --> 00:48:45.080
and instead of letting yourself be burdened with them,

741
00:48:45.080 --> 00:48:47.520
you put them on Jesus.

742
00:48:47.520 --> 00:48:50.200
You release them to the Jesus Cares Board.

743
00:48:50.200 --> 00:48:51.640
And then unless he lets you know

744
00:48:51.640 --> 00:48:53.960
that there's something that you need to do

745
00:48:53.960 --> 00:48:55.480
in the solution of that problem,

746
00:48:55.480 --> 00:48:56.840
you just leave it there knowing

747
00:48:56.840 --> 00:49:01.840
that it is very securely in his care, right?

748
00:49:02.480 --> 00:49:03.520
And then you walk on.

749
00:49:04.760 --> 00:49:05.960
So we're allowed to be messy.

750
00:49:05.960 --> 00:49:09.800
We're allowed to lean in for strength, right?

751
00:49:09.800 --> 00:49:11.960
One of you, Samantha just said

752
00:49:11.960 --> 00:49:14.760
that strong is her counterfeit identity.

753
00:49:14.760 --> 00:49:17.520
But the truth is, is that that's also your superpower.

754
00:49:18.600 --> 00:49:22.800
It's just a different type of strong, okay?

755
00:49:22.800 --> 00:49:23.920
What's the Bible say about it?

756
00:49:23.920 --> 00:49:25.760
It says that our strength is made,

757
00:49:25.760 --> 00:49:29.960
his strength, I'm sorry, is made perfect in our what?

758
00:49:35.440 --> 00:49:38.160
His strength is made perfect in our what?

759
00:49:38.160 --> 00:49:40.000
Weakness.

760
00:49:40.000 --> 00:49:42.600
Right, so when we're messy,

761
00:49:42.600 --> 00:49:47.240
that's when God can show up strong through us, right?

762
00:49:47.240 --> 00:49:49.760
Paul even said, because of my messiness,

763
00:49:50.600 --> 00:49:52.960
your power rests upon me.

764
00:49:52.960 --> 00:49:54.520
Of course, that's my paraphrase.

765
00:49:54.520 --> 00:49:56.800
Because of my infirmities, my weaknesses,

766
00:49:56.800 --> 00:50:00.160
my frailties in this flesh, your power.

767
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.840
rests upon me. And so we have to understand that, um, when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable,

768
00:50:06.640 --> 00:50:12.800
when we allow ourselves to lean in, um, to that, that is when we will receive that strength.

769
00:50:13.920 --> 00:50:22.880
That's when you'll feel that strength. Yes. Love the permission. You guys love the permission to

770
00:50:22.880 --> 00:50:28.000
like Elizabeth to be messy and imperfect, but don't take that as your counterfeit identity

771
00:50:28.000 --> 00:50:31.520
either. See, some people will take that. I'm not saying Elizabeth is, but don't take that

772
00:50:31.520 --> 00:50:37.200
all the way to the pendulum swing where you just show up messy all the time, right? You're the

773
00:50:37.200 --> 00:50:42.320
person that never has it together. You're the person that, you know, is always in a crisis.

774
00:50:42.320 --> 00:50:48.320
You know, we don't want to be professional victims either. Do we? You're like, well,

775
00:50:48.320 --> 00:50:54.720
Jackie, where's the balance? The balance is the heart healing. Okay. You're going to know when to

776
00:50:54.720 --> 00:51:00.880
show up vulnerable. And you're also going to know when to show up in his strength.

777
00:51:02.640 --> 00:51:10.320
You're going to show up in faith. You're going to show up in, um, in partnership with Holy

778
00:51:10.320 --> 00:51:16.240
spirit. All right. So this all really, really good stuff. Okay. Hopefully you guys are getting

779
00:51:16.240 --> 00:51:27.600
something out of this tonight. All right. All right. So breakout question number two. And for

780
00:51:27.600 --> 00:51:31.280
those of you that are watching the time, cause you need, you know, to be somewhere at a certain

781
00:51:31.280 --> 00:51:37.600
time, we're going to be here for probably another 35 minutes. Okay. So breakout question two,

782
00:51:37.600 --> 00:51:44.480
have you lost hope in any area of your life? Right. Um, this obviously goes with that hope

783
00:51:44.480 --> 00:51:48.400
scale worksheet. It goes with that hope teaching for those of you that didn't get a chance to do

784
00:51:48.400 --> 00:51:55.520
that. Um, you're going to definitely want to do that for sure, but we'll go ahead and

785
00:51:58.160 --> 00:52:03.760
go into another breakout where you can share with each other and just be honest with each other.

786
00:52:03.760 --> 00:52:08.240
If you, you know, I've already done the hope scale worksheet. This is where you're going to

787
00:52:08.240 --> 00:52:15.440
be honest about those, those areas where there was a one or two. Okay. Where you had a one or

788
00:52:15.440 --> 00:52:19.760
two as the answer on those questions. And if you didn't do that worksheet yet, then you can just

789
00:52:19.760 --> 00:52:28.400
go ahead and share, um, a place in your life where you feel like you have definitely lost some hope.

790
00:52:29.840 --> 00:52:34.320
Okay. You're struggling in the hope department in that area of your life. All right. So let's go

791
00:52:34.320 --> 00:52:44.160
ahead and open the rooms.

792
00:52:53.120 --> 00:52:57.840
All right. So we're back from that breakout and we're going to talk about the areas where our hope

793
00:52:57.840 --> 00:53:04.800
is, um, low. You know, some of us may feel like we have no hope at all, but that isn't true,

794
00:53:04.800 --> 00:53:11.280
right? Because if that was true, then we wouldn't be trying at all in those areas. And so all the

795
00:53:11.280 --> 00:53:15.360
areas that you're mentioning, there are areas where you're still putting forth some effort.

796
00:53:15.360 --> 00:53:20.160
And so there's definitely some hope that's living there. It may not be a lot of hope,

797
00:53:20.160 --> 00:53:25.200
um, but hope is something because it's eternal, that it's actually hard to completely distinguish

798
00:53:25.200 --> 00:53:30.240
extinguish. Okay. It's hard to completely extinguish it. Can't put it out all the way,

799
00:53:30.240 --> 00:53:35.520
right. It can be very low and it's very hard to live with low hope because when you live with low

800
00:53:35.520 --> 00:53:40.640
hope, like I said, you, you look for medication because it's painful. Hope is the thing that gets

801
00:53:40.640 --> 00:53:44.720
you up in the morning and gets you going. It's the thing that gets you excited. It's the thing that,

802
00:53:44.720 --> 00:53:49.760
you know, makes life worth living in that area, right? That hope that the thing that you're

803
00:53:49.760 --> 00:53:56.160
hoping for is going to happen. I remember in my twenties, um, I was severely ill my entire

804
00:53:56.160 --> 00:54:00.160
decade of my twenties into my thirties, actually, until I was about 33 years old.

805
00:54:00.960 --> 00:54:06.800
So I had severe mental health issues. I had severe physical health issues. Um, all of them were

806
00:54:06.800 --> 00:54:14.000
things that were not treatable, um, at least not treatable with any true success. And, um, there

807
00:54:14.000 --> 00:54:22.480
were big portions of that decade of my life where I was in extreme pain and, uh, you know, not able

808
00:54:22.480 --> 00:54:29.360
to leave the home, not able to leave the house also, you know, in a very traumatic and unhealthy

809
00:54:29.360 --> 00:54:35.600
and unsafe marriage at that time too. And I can tell you that there were lots of times, um, in

810
00:54:35.600 --> 00:54:42.320
that decade, that 12 years where I didn't know if things were ever going to change.

811
00:54:44.000 --> 00:54:48.720
I didn't know if this was just going to be the rest of my life. Is this what my rest of my life

812
00:54:48.720 --> 00:54:54.000
looks like? Is this what it looks like? And unfortunately friends, there are voices that

813
00:54:54.000 --> 00:54:58.720
show up that I know that they're trying to be helpful when they say things like, Oh, well, you

814
00:54:58.720 --> 00:54:59.680
know, God's.

815
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.000
grace is sufficient for you, or he'll never put more on you than you can bear.

816
00:55:04.000 --> 00:55:08.840
Just like very religious things that make you kind of feel like God's a jerk.

817
00:55:10.400 --> 00:55:11.000
Okay.

818
00:55:12.000 --> 00:55:13.520
And then, but you still have no trust.

819
00:55:13.640 --> 00:55:16.760
You have no choice, but just to love him because like, he's still a God, right?

820
00:55:16.760 --> 00:55:20.160
Well, it's like, well, he's a jerk, but I'm going to love him anyway.

821
00:55:20.960 --> 00:55:24.360
You know, a lot of people like to quote that scripture from Job.

822
00:55:24.360 --> 00:55:28.600
You know, he, you know, even though he slays me, I'll still praise him.

823
00:55:28.880 --> 00:55:30.280
Well, that's a horrible quote.

824
00:55:31.480 --> 00:55:34.400
And yeah, there's some sucky things that happen in life for sure.

825
00:55:34.480 --> 00:55:35.160
No doubt.

826
00:55:35.200 --> 00:55:40.160
You know, I understand that I've been there, but God's not doing that stuff to us.

827
00:55:41.720 --> 00:55:43.560
God's not ever holding out on you.

828
00:55:43.560 --> 00:55:47.520
And if you learn nothing in this first phase of the program the thing that I

829
00:55:47.520 --> 00:55:52.040
want you to learn most of all, is that you have a father in heaven that adores

830
00:55:52.040 --> 00:55:56.720
you, that loves you so very much and is on your side, he is for you and life is for

831
00:55:56.760 --> 00:55:57.040
you.

832
00:55:57.480 --> 00:55:57.640
Yeah.

833
00:55:57.640 --> 00:56:01.520
You might have had some bad experiences and you might have had some hard knocks.

834
00:56:01.520 --> 00:56:02.760
We all have for sure.

835
00:56:02.760 --> 00:56:04.200
Everyone suffers.

836
00:56:04.720 --> 00:56:08.120
Jesus made it very clear to us that everyone was going to have suffering in

837
00:56:08.120 --> 00:56:10.400
this life because we live in a fallen world.

838
00:56:11.560 --> 00:56:13.640
And I'm just going to tell you the darkness of this culture.

839
00:56:13.640 --> 00:56:17.760
I don't know that things have ever been as dark as they are now, just overall.

840
00:56:19.760 --> 00:56:24.440
And so one thing that I want you to really do as you go forward is regardless of

841
00:56:24.440 --> 00:56:28.600
whether you have this much hope, or you have this much hope, because I believe

842
00:56:28.600 --> 00:56:29.760
your hope's going to increase.

843
00:56:30.520 --> 00:56:32.800
First of all, I cared the supernatural gift of hope now.

844
00:56:32.800 --> 00:56:34.360
And I just released that over you.

845
00:56:34.680 --> 00:56:37.360
I believe that your hope is going to increase, but regardless of how much you

846
00:56:37.360 --> 00:56:39.920
have, I want you to start to start to protect it.

847
00:56:41.800 --> 00:56:45.000
You might say, Jackie, you know, like what the heck does that mean?

848
00:56:45.160 --> 00:56:46.160
This is what it means.

849
00:56:46.280 --> 00:56:48.520
Stop looking at stuff that steals your hope.

850
00:56:49.520 --> 00:56:52.160
And while we're at it, stop looking at stuff that steals your joy.

851
00:56:52.680 --> 00:56:54.760
Stop listening to stuff that steals your hope.

852
00:56:57.560 --> 00:56:59.320
Stop hanging around people.

853
00:57:00.120 --> 00:57:05.160
One of our ladies that was in here with me for the last breakout, not this one

854
00:57:05.160 --> 00:57:09.480
said that she had a cousin that continued to say stuff to her, like, well, you know,

855
00:57:09.480 --> 00:57:11.680
if you're not married by 40, you ain't going to get married.

856
00:57:11.680 --> 00:57:13.640
Well, the problem is that she's already over 40.

857
00:57:15.000 --> 00:57:17.880
And so how is that supposed to help anybody here?

858
00:57:19.520 --> 00:57:20.000
Right.

859
00:57:20.840 --> 00:57:23.760
And so, you know what we do when we have people like that in our lives, we say

860
00:57:23.760 --> 00:57:25.600
things like, oh, you know what?

861
00:57:26.240 --> 00:57:30.720
I love you, but I'm not going to listen to that.

862
00:57:33.800 --> 00:57:34.400
That's right.

863
00:57:35.000 --> 00:57:39.880
Sometimes you just gotta love people from a distance because, you know, they're

864
00:57:39.880 --> 00:57:41.200
trying to steal stuff from you.

865
00:57:42.440 --> 00:57:43.720
They're trying to steal stuff from you.

866
00:57:43.880 --> 00:57:49.760
Pay attention to what ends up missing in your heart and in your life.

867
00:57:49.760 --> 00:57:52.680
After you hang out with certain people, take a little assessment.

868
00:57:54.680 --> 00:57:54.920
Right.

869
00:57:54.920 --> 00:57:58.760
We used to, I used to do a lot of youth ministry with a lot of, you know, young

870
00:57:58.760 --> 00:58:01.480
people that were in trouble with the law and different things.

871
00:58:01.480 --> 00:58:04.480
And when I would have them over my house, after they left, I would take an

872
00:58:04.480 --> 00:58:10.160
assessment of what was still in my home and what was missing because they stole

873
00:58:10.160 --> 00:58:10.680
things.

874
00:58:11.520 --> 00:58:12.160
Okay.

875
00:58:12.840 --> 00:58:13.840
Yes, that's right.

876
00:58:13.840 --> 00:58:14.880
I've done every kind of ministry.

877
00:58:14.880 --> 00:58:19.120
You can think of, um, they stole things like they wrote themselves checks on a

878
00:58:19.120 --> 00:58:22.120
checkbook that they found and then cashed them and did all kinds of stuff.

879
00:58:22.360 --> 00:58:27.680
So when you hang out with people, whether it's church people, you know,

880
00:58:27.680 --> 00:58:31.320
community, whether it's people at work, whether it's people that are supposed to

881
00:58:31.320 --> 00:58:35.880
be your best friends, when you leave and you go home, I want you to take a, you

882
00:58:35.880 --> 00:58:41.000
know, a spiritual and mental and emotional assessment of, do you feel full

883
00:58:41.000 --> 00:58:42.120
or do you feel empty?

884
00:58:42.120 --> 00:58:43.200
What is missing?

885
00:58:43.720 --> 00:58:44.880
What has come up missing?

886
00:58:46.120 --> 00:58:47.200
Do you feel hopeless?

887
00:58:47.200 --> 00:58:49.160
Do you feel worn out?

888
00:58:49.160 --> 00:58:50.160
Do you feel exhausted?

889
00:58:50.160 --> 00:58:52.040
Do you feel like your joy has come up missing?

890
00:58:52.040 --> 00:58:53.360
You hang around the wrong people.

891
00:58:53.600 --> 00:58:54.560
They will steal your joy.

892
00:58:54.560 --> 00:58:56.440
They will steal your hope.

893
00:58:56.800 --> 00:59:01.200
You know, for those few moments, you will feel like you are exhausted.

894
00:59:01.200 --> 00:59:02.000
Why is that?

895
00:59:02.000 --> 00:59:05.520
Because I will tell you why.

896
00:59:05.760 --> 00:59:11.320
If you are around people that have a stronger negative outlook on life, then

897
00:59:11.320 --> 00:59:13.440
you have a positive outlook on life.

898
00:59:13.800 --> 00:59:16.200
Then you do the math of what's going to happen next.

899
00:59:17.680 --> 00:59:20.480
You hang out with, listen, ladies, please listen to this.

900
00:59:20.720 --> 00:59:24.760
If all of the people that are closest to you think that there's no good men left

901
00:59:24.760 --> 00:59:27.800
on the earth and all they want to do, forgive my language is bitch and

902
00:59:27.800 --> 00:59:28.840
complain about men.

903
00:59:29.040 --> 00:59:30.160
You ain't getting married.

904
00:59:30.160 --> 00:59:34.760
Because if you think that that does not spread like wildfire in your spirit,

905
00:59:34.760 --> 00:59:35.480
you're wrong.

906
00:59:37.280 --> 00:59:40.720
If you think that that does not create blind spots and filters, you are wrong.

907
00:59:41.200 --> 00:59:44.240
You got to get around people that want to cheer for your love story.

908
00:59:45.280 --> 00:59:49.280
Not think that every single man that you meet is like some human trafficker.

909
00:59:51.120 --> 00:59:53.400
Seriously, we've had everything you can think of.

910
00:59:53.440 --> 00:59:56.240
I just can't even, you know, I don't want to talk about it.

911
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.920
In my first group of people, like one woman would post about her date and another woman would say,

912
01:00:03.920 --> 01:00:09.200
you better be careful. Sounds like he's a human trafficker. Really? How did it escalate there?

913
01:00:11.680 --> 01:00:20.320
Really? Why, why, why? You know, of course he wasn't, but some people are just that jaded on

914
01:00:20.320 --> 01:00:26.000
men. And you want to ask them like, you know, what are you doing in a, in a marriage, you know,

915
01:00:26.000 --> 01:00:30.960
help me get married group. But there are people in your life that they're not trying to get married.

916
01:00:30.960 --> 01:00:34.640
And the thing is, is that they may, and you're like, okay, well, I don't have any single friends

917
01:00:34.640 --> 01:00:39.200
like that, but you actually might have married friends like that, that are trying to sour you

918
01:00:39.200 --> 01:00:45.360
on marriage because they are not happily married. And they kind of envy you because you're free

919
01:00:45.360 --> 01:00:53.280
and they're not. And so please ladies start taking an assessment of what comes up missing

920
01:00:53.280 --> 01:00:58.400
when you talk to certain people, how you feel afterwards. Do you feel full of hope for these

921
01:00:58.400 --> 01:01:03.440
areas of your life? Put right now in the chat, the area of your life where you feel that you're

922
01:01:03.440 --> 01:01:07.760
feeling hopeless. And it's for, for all of you, it's not marriage. Some of you, it's your job.

923
01:01:07.760 --> 01:01:13.280
It's your money. It's all different types of things. And then I want you to ask God to give you

924
01:01:13.920 --> 01:01:21.680
not only your hope in this area, but also to give you people that are believe that believe that you

925
01:01:21.680 --> 01:01:28.320
can be successful in this area that really do. They believe that you can be successful.

926
01:01:34.400 --> 01:01:36.560
They believe that God has good things in store for you,

927
01:01:38.000 --> 01:01:41.760
that they're going to be the voice of hope. They're going to be a hope dealer for you

928
01:01:42.560 --> 01:01:48.640
in this area. And the people that are trying to steal the little shred of hope that you have left

929
01:01:48.640 --> 01:01:54.880
with their negative comments and their realism and their statistics, forget that

930
01:01:57.040 --> 01:02:00.880
we serve a God to whom nothing is impossible.

931
01:02:02.560 --> 01:02:07.360
We got to come into agreement with that. We have to come into agreement with that.

932
01:02:08.160 --> 01:02:18.160
All right. Let's look at that. And for all of you ladies that, you know, you're, you know, maybe

933
01:02:18.880 --> 01:02:23.520
past 40 years old and you're really still wanting to have babies, you know, biologically,

934
01:02:23.520 --> 01:02:27.120
I believe God can do that for you. Even those of you that are in perimenopause,

935
01:02:27.120 --> 01:02:33.520
maybe even knocking up against menopause door. I'm 48 years old and I'm going to be 49 here in

936
01:02:33.520 --> 01:02:38.480
a couple months. And I was eight months without my period. And I was like, this is it. I got three

937
01:02:38.480 --> 01:02:42.240
more months to go and I'm done. This is, I mean, wasn't excited about it. Cause you're just like,

938
01:02:42.240 --> 01:02:48.560
er, that's scary. Um, but you guys, it came back, it came back. It was like, Hey, remember me,

939
01:02:48.560 --> 01:02:53.760
I'm here. And so you never know what can happen for all of you. And there's this really great

940
01:02:53.760 --> 01:02:59.600
thought leader that I follow that said that, you know, even one year without your menstrual cycle

941
01:02:59.600 --> 01:03:03.600
does not mean menopause that sometimes it comes back two to three years later.

942
01:03:03.600 --> 01:03:07.920
And it doesn't mean disease. It just means, you know, women live in a lot of stress. Nowadays,

943
01:03:07.920 --> 01:03:14.000
our adrenals are weak. Our thyroid is sometimes over overextended, and then that will screw up

944
01:03:14.000 --> 01:03:18.800
your cycles and make them miss a lot. So I believe that God can do anything even without a period.

945
01:03:18.800 --> 01:03:23.920
I believe that you could get pregnant. I believe that God told us that our movement would be marked

946
01:03:23.920 --> 01:03:29.680
by geriatric pregnancies. So advanced maternal age pregnancies, we would be marked by that,

947
01:03:29.680 --> 01:03:34.160
but I want to say something else and all that. All right. I want to say something else.

948
01:03:35.920 --> 01:03:41.520
There are so many children that need mothers and fathers in this earth that God can fulfill

949
01:03:41.520 --> 01:03:45.600
your desire to be a mother, any which way he wants. And I know I've asked you to surrender

950
01:03:45.600 --> 01:03:50.880
the pen to God in the area of your spirit mate and marriage, but I'm asking you to surrender

951
01:03:50.880 --> 01:03:58.560
the pen in the area of children as well. All right. It is completely ego that we would need

952
01:03:58.560 --> 01:04:04.640
to have a biological child. It's just our ego, right? We just want it to come from us. We want

953
01:04:04.640 --> 01:04:09.920
it to have our DNA. I'm telling you as a bonus mother of two children that were nine and 11,

954
01:04:09.920 --> 01:04:18.480
when I married their father, my daughter flipped her car two days ago. Okay. She was nine years old

955
01:04:19.360 --> 01:04:22.640
when my heart gave birth to her. And I married her daughter, her dad,

956
01:04:23.440 --> 01:04:28.320
she was nine and now she's 26. And she's the mother of my two twin grandbabies.

957
01:04:28.320 --> 01:04:33.520
And she flipped her car two days ago. And I thought that I died for a minute.

958
01:04:34.800 --> 01:04:40.800
Why is that? Because she's okay. I'm not going to leave you guys hanging on that. She's okay.

959
01:04:40.800 --> 01:04:44.720
Actually, she came out with just a little scratch. She didn't even have her seatbelt on you guys,

960
01:04:45.680 --> 01:04:50.160
because she was rushing to go do something while the babies were asleep with dad at the house.

961
01:04:50.160 --> 01:04:59.680
And she just was just, and why is that? Because she is my child. She is my child. I love her.

962
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:02.240
Same as I love my biological child

963
01:05:02.240 --> 01:05:07.160
that is just three years younger than her, okay?

964
01:05:07.160 --> 01:05:08.920
She is part of my lineage.

965
01:05:08.920 --> 01:05:11.960
My bonus kids, my kids that I didn't give birth to,

966
01:05:11.960 --> 01:05:13.840
my heart, my heart womb babies,

967
01:05:13.840 --> 01:05:16.300
not my uterus womb babies.

968
01:05:18.480 --> 01:05:20.680
People tell them more often than not

969
01:05:20.680 --> 01:05:21.600
that they are like me

970
01:05:21.600 --> 01:05:24.240
than they do my actual biological daughter.

971
01:05:24.240 --> 01:05:25.720
Oh, you remind me of your mom.

972
01:05:25.720 --> 01:05:27.080
You know, you look just like your mom,

973
01:05:27.080 --> 01:05:32.080
even though we're not biologically related to each other.

974
01:05:33.520 --> 01:05:36.000
If we can be grafted into a bloodline

975
01:05:36.000 --> 01:05:37.560
that we did not come from,

976
01:05:37.560 --> 01:05:40.240
if we can take on the bloodline of Christ,

977
01:05:40.240 --> 01:05:41.360
if we can do all that,

978
01:05:41.360 --> 01:05:43.960
then we can do that as well in marriage

979
01:05:43.960 --> 01:05:46.560
with adopted children, with fostered children,

980
01:05:46.560 --> 01:05:49.280
with blended family children.

981
01:05:49.280 --> 01:05:51.280
And so I really wanna encourage all of you

982
01:05:51.280 --> 01:05:52.480
to surrender the pen to God.

983
01:05:52.480 --> 01:05:55.080
I know you want to have a child.

984
01:05:55.080 --> 01:05:55.920
I know you do.

985
01:05:55.920 --> 01:05:56.760
You know why?

986
01:05:56.760 --> 01:05:59.040
Because God hardwired you to want to do that.

987
01:05:59.040 --> 01:06:02.200
But there's a lot of ways to fulfill the need to mother

988
01:06:02.200 --> 01:06:03.400
and the desire to mother.

989
01:06:03.400 --> 01:06:06.800
And I want you to trust God with that desire.

990
01:06:06.800 --> 01:06:09.660
If you are meant to have a biological child on this earth,

991
01:06:09.660 --> 01:06:11.040
if you are meant to have one,

992
01:06:11.040 --> 01:06:13.140
regardless of what your age is, you will have one.

993
01:06:13.140 --> 01:06:14.560
You need to come into agreement with that.

994
01:06:14.560 --> 01:06:16.400
If there is a child

995
01:06:16.400 --> 01:06:19.320
that is going to come into this earth through your womb,

996
01:06:19.320 --> 01:06:21.600
because you know that they already exist, right?

997
01:06:21.600 --> 01:06:24.400
God knew us from the foundation of the earth.

998
01:06:24.400 --> 01:06:26.160
So they already exist.

999
01:06:26.160 --> 01:06:27.400
And if they're gonna be knit,

1000
01:06:27.400 --> 01:06:29.880
if their body that they're gonna walk around on this earth,

1001
01:06:29.880 --> 01:06:30.800
that their spirit,

1002
01:06:30.800 --> 01:06:33.640
the vehicle that they're gonna walk around on this earth in

1003
01:06:33.640 --> 01:06:36.320
is gonna be knit together in your physical womb,

1004
01:06:36.320 --> 01:06:38.080
then it's gonna happen.

1005
01:06:38.080 --> 01:06:39.840
And you need to come into agreement with that.

1006
01:06:39.840 --> 01:06:40.880
It's gonna happen.

1007
01:06:42.080 --> 01:06:44.320
But there may be other children

1008
01:06:44.320 --> 01:06:46.440
that God wants to bring into your heart,

1009
01:06:46.440 --> 01:06:48.880
bring in through your heart womb.

1010
01:06:48.880 --> 01:06:51.520
And it's important that we're open to that.

1011
01:06:51.520 --> 01:06:52.920
And I'm talking to myself too.

1012
01:06:52.920 --> 01:06:54.640
You know, all my kids are adults,

1013
01:06:54.640 --> 01:06:58.160
but if God wants me to mother more children,

1014
01:06:59.800 --> 01:07:00.640
I will do it.

1015
01:07:02.440 --> 01:07:04.960
I will do that for sure.

1016
01:07:04.960 --> 01:07:09.320
I mean, if that is what the Lord is wanting me to do.

1017
01:07:09.320 --> 01:07:11.520
And you know how he lets us know

1018
01:07:11.520 --> 01:07:12.880
that's what he wants us to do,

1019
01:07:12.880 --> 01:07:14.400
is that we surrender the pen.

1020
01:07:14.400 --> 01:07:17.240
And then all of a sudden we start having a desire for it.

1021
01:07:18.640 --> 01:07:20.040
We start having a desire for it.

1022
01:07:20.040 --> 01:07:21.920
The same with your spirit mate.

1023
01:07:21.920 --> 01:07:23.640
If you really give God the pen,

1024
01:07:23.640 --> 01:07:25.600
that list that you had of all the things

1025
01:07:25.600 --> 01:07:28.560
that he has to be like, it starts to change.

1026
01:07:30.160 --> 01:07:31.560
You start to be open to things

1027
01:07:31.560 --> 01:07:34.600
and it's not because you're settling, God forbid.

1028
01:07:34.600 --> 01:07:36.160
You're not settling y'all.

1029
01:07:38.080 --> 01:07:40.200
Your taste buds are changing.

1030
01:07:40.200 --> 01:07:42.000
Your little love buds are changing.

1031
01:07:43.400 --> 01:07:45.000
Why is that?

1032
01:07:45.000 --> 01:07:46.880
God's making you willing to be made willing

1033
01:07:46.880 --> 01:07:48.120
in his day of power.

1034
01:07:50.120 --> 01:07:51.280
Don't forget friends,

1035
01:07:51.640 --> 01:07:52.640
I've had the front row seat

1036
01:07:52.640 --> 01:07:56.200
to over 500 love stories so far.

1037
01:07:56.200 --> 01:07:57.160
And those are just the ones

1038
01:07:57.160 --> 01:07:58.400
that have gotten engaged and married.

1039
01:07:58.400 --> 01:07:59.720
That doesn't include all the ones

1040
01:07:59.720 --> 01:08:02.920
that are in my marriage funnel of dating.

1041
01:08:02.920 --> 01:08:06.360
And I have seen everything that you can think of.

1042
01:08:06.360 --> 01:08:10.400
And I have not seen one person show up and say,

1043
01:08:10.400 --> 01:08:12.760
oh, you know, I wish I would have kept my list.

1044
01:08:14.120 --> 01:08:16.960
No, everyone's excited and everyone's in love.

1045
01:08:16.960 --> 01:08:21.040
And everyone is thinking that God chooses better for us

1046
01:08:21.800 --> 01:08:24.880
than we would ever have chose for ourselves, okay?

1047
01:08:24.880 --> 01:08:26.840
So I really, really wanna encourage you

1048
01:08:28.080 --> 01:08:30.640
to really let go.

1049
01:08:32.000 --> 01:08:33.600
And the quicker that you do it,

1050
01:08:35.120 --> 01:08:37.960
the quicker that we can get this show on the road.

1051
01:08:37.960 --> 01:08:41.359
And some of you may need to do it every single day.

1052
01:08:41.359 --> 01:08:42.800
You're gonna do it every day

1053
01:08:42.800 --> 01:08:44.560
because you're that much of a control freak

1054
01:08:44.560 --> 01:08:46.840
and you just don't know it about yourself yet.

1055
01:08:46.840 --> 01:08:48.600
And that's okay.

1056
01:08:48.640 --> 01:08:51.960
My kids bought me a, not a bungee jumping, God forbid.

1057
01:08:51.960 --> 01:08:56.840
They bought me a zipline package for Mother's Day.

1058
01:08:56.840 --> 01:08:59.080
They bought me like a ziplining tour.

1059
01:08:59.080 --> 01:09:01.000
And I was like, are y'all crazy?

1060
01:09:01.880 --> 01:09:04.600
Why would you buy me this for Mother's Day?

1061
01:09:04.600 --> 01:09:06.399
I am scared of heights.

1062
01:09:06.399 --> 01:09:07.920
I do not wanna do this.

1063
01:09:07.920 --> 01:09:09.880
They're like, come on, mom.

1064
01:09:09.880 --> 01:09:11.200
You know, first of all,

1065
01:09:11.200 --> 01:09:13.640
adult children are way worse than toddlers.

1066
01:09:13.640 --> 01:09:15.080
I'm telling you right now.

1067
01:09:15.080 --> 01:09:16.840
They will just turn you out.

1068
01:09:16.880 --> 01:09:21.880
And so I'm on this tiny little platform

1069
01:09:22.600 --> 01:09:25.680
way, way, way up in the air, y'all.

1070
01:09:25.680 --> 01:09:27.680
Way up in the air in Hill Country, Texas,

1071
01:09:27.680 --> 01:09:29.760
about to zipline over the treetops

1072
01:09:29.760 --> 01:09:32.000
and over the lakes and all this stuff.

1073
01:09:32.000 --> 01:09:33.920
And I'm all belted into some kid

1074
01:09:33.920 --> 01:09:36.240
that I know was just smoking pot

1075
01:09:36.240 --> 01:09:39.200
probably right before he showed up at work today.

1076
01:09:39.200 --> 01:09:42.240
All right, cause he's all like, yeah, right on, man.

1077
01:09:42.240 --> 01:09:44.880
And so he's the one that's harnessed me in.

1078
01:09:44.920 --> 01:09:47.240
And as I'm standing there about to literally,

1079
01:09:48.359 --> 01:09:49.399
they don't push you off.

1080
01:09:49.399 --> 01:09:52.920
You like have to, you have to, of your own free will,

1081
01:09:52.920 --> 01:09:57.920
you have to let go of the solid ground and step off, right?

1082
01:09:58.840 --> 01:10:00.640
And as I'm up there and I'm looking.

1083
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.440
down and it's so high. I realized you guys, I had a revelation at this moment and my revelation

1084
01:10:05.440 --> 01:10:11.540
was this, I'm not scared of heights. I'm not. I looked down, I was like, that doesn't bother

1085
01:10:11.540 --> 01:10:17.760
me at all. I'm a total control freak. It had nothing to do with heights. It had to do with

1086
01:10:17.760 --> 01:10:24.800
not being in control. Right? And so I had to, I had to deal with that. And how did I

1087
01:10:24.800 --> 01:10:29.440
have to deal with that? I had to deal with it by literally losing control and I didn't

1088
01:10:29.440 --> 01:10:36.560
just step off. I ran off because I ain't going to live like that. I'm not going to live like

1089
01:10:36.560 --> 01:10:42.080
that. And you're not going to live like that either. That's a small life friends. It's

1090
01:10:42.080 --> 01:10:50.160
a small life. We are God defended. My daughter was driving in a neighborhood yesterday and

1091
01:10:50.160 --> 01:10:54.840
I don't know how fast she was going, but I've ridden with her and she drives fast and she

1092
01:10:54.840 --> 01:11:03.600
hit a parked car y'all and flipped her car. She had no seatbelt on. She's laying on the

1093
01:11:03.600 --> 01:11:09.040
roof of her car in the middle of a suburban neighborhood and people are like, Hey, is

1094
01:11:09.040 --> 01:11:14.080
anyone alive in there? You know? And she's just sitting there cause she's fine. And she's

1095
01:11:14.080 --> 01:11:20.200
just like, yeah, I'm in here. The airbags, I'm trapped. I'm in here. I'm fine. You know,

1096
01:11:20.920 --> 01:11:26.440
because she is God defended. And so for all of you that, you know, you haven't been dating

1097
01:11:26.440 --> 01:11:29.560
cause you're worried about your kids and you haven't been doing this. You haven't been doing

1098
01:11:29.560 --> 01:11:33.240
that. You're trying to control everything. You're trying to hold everything together.

1099
01:11:33.800 --> 01:11:43.800
Let go. Just let go. Let go and see what happens. Just let go. You're like, but Jackie,

1100
01:11:43.800 --> 01:11:49.880
if I let go, everything will fall apart. Let it, let it fall apart.

1101
01:11:51.800 --> 01:11:54.840
Let it fall apart because if it truly does fall apart,

1102
01:11:56.120 --> 01:11:59.080
it's only falling apart so that something better can fall together.

1103
01:12:03.320 --> 01:12:07.480
Cause I'm just going to tell you right now, there is nothing on this earth worth having that you

1104
01:12:07.480 --> 01:12:16.280
have to be the glue to hold together. There is nothing on this earth worth having. If you have

1105
01:12:16.280 --> 01:12:24.120
to be in control of it 24 seven, working it like a job, making sure that it doesn't fall apart.

1106
01:12:25.960 --> 01:12:36.200
Amen. Amen. So let it fall apart. You're probably keeping yourself from something better

1107
01:12:36.280 --> 01:12:40.360
by trying to resuscitate this thing that should have been buried a long time ago.

1108
01:12:43.880 --> 01:12:46.840
I think I say it in my heart work book. I don't remember what book I say it in,

1109
01:12:46.840 --> 01:12:49.880
but take the dead bodies out of your trunk and bury them. Y'all

1110
01:12:49.880 --> 01:12:59.480
sign the do not resuscitate order. Let that thing go. Let it go. Most of you that were married.

1111
01:13:00.120 --> 01:13:04.520
If I asked you a poll, I'm going to go ahead and pull you right now. Yes. I'm the DNR do not

1112
01:13:04.520 --> 01:13:10.520
resuscitate. I want you to put it up in the chat if you were married. Okay. And now you're divorced,

1113
01:13:10.520 --> 01:13:15.960
whether it's your first sex, second marriage, I don't care. Okay. Third, fourth. I was just

1114
01:13:15.960 --> 01:13:19.880
telling someone that I had a, I had a student that was married four times when she came here

1115
01:13:19.880 --> 01:13:23.720
and she felt very disqualified to ever be married again. And guess what? She is happily married.

1116
01:13:24.280 --> 01:13:30.520
She is happily married this time. She's married to a good man. This time, five times here it is.

1117
01:13:30.520 --> 01:13:36.040
All right. And God did not disqualify her. Um, she is here. So for those of you that this applies

1118
01:13:36.040 --> 01:13:39.880
to, I want you to, and for those of you that were in a long-term relationship, maybe you don't even,

1119
01:13:39.880 --> 01:13:45.000
weren't even married, but you know, you finally got out of it and goodbye, Earl. Okay. If you

1120
01:13:45.000 --> 01:13:49.320
guys don't know, if you know, you know what goodbye Earl means. All right. All right. So

1121
01:13:49.320 --> 01:13:55.480
here's the question. How many of you would admit that you would have left that marriage a lot

1122
01:13:55.480 --> 01:14:00.760
sooner if you would have stopped trying to hold it together? Like you were the glue,

1123
01:14:00.760 --> 01:14:06.040
you were the duct tape holding that together for a long time after it was dead.

1124
01:14:09.640 --> 01:14:13.080
You tried everything to fix it. You tried everything you could.

1125
01:14:14.600 --> 01:14:18.040
There was marriage counseling, but you were the only one there because he didn't go.

1126
01:14:21.560 --> 01:14:24.920
You bought all the books on how to fix your marriage and how to be a better wife.

1127
01:14:25.480 --> 01:14:29.880
You know what? It didn't work because he wasn't reading the other book on how to be a husband.

1128
01:14:29.880 --> 01:14:36.520
That's what happened. And I'm glad that you held on for as long as you did for some of you,

1129
01:14:36.520 --> 01:14:41.080
because now, you know, that, you know, that, you know, that you did everything you could,

1130
01:14:41.080 --> 01:14:47.800
and you needed that. You needed that. You were, you needed to be able to walk on and know that,

1131
01:14:47.800 --> 01:14:54.200
you know what? I did try y'all. I held on to a marriage that should have ended the first year

1132
01:14:54.200 --> 01:14:59.720
for 12 more years. And every year I was like, Oh,

1133
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.040
I think I'm gonna have to, I think I'm gonna have to let go.

1134
01:15:05.840 --> 01:15:07.720
But there was always some religious cheerleader

1135
01:15:07.720 --> 01:15:11.240
that came along and said, God's gonna fix it.

1136
01:15:11.240 --> 01:15:12.360
Well, that's great.

1137
01:15:12.360 --> 01:15:15.240
And I believe that God can do all things if we let him,

1138
01:15:15.240 --> 01:15:17.460
but that was not the case.

1139
01:15:19.360 --> 01:15:23.040
If only we could have the spiritual cheerleaders that came

1140
01:15:23.040 --> 01:15:26.180
and actually cheerleaded us in the right ways, right?

1141
01:15:26.220 --> 01:15:30.780
Because we need that hope infusion in the right things.

1142
01:15:31.940 --> 01:15:32.940
We definitely do.

1143
01:15:32.940 --> 01:15:34.260
All right, so I see all that.

1144
01:15:34.260 --> 01:15:38.260
21 years, I know people that, whew, all the things, y'all.

1145
01:15:38.260 --> 01:15:40.020
I've heard every story you can think of.

1146
01:15:40.020 --> 01:15:40.860
All right.

1147
01:15:42.060 --> 01:15:43.940
So it's time to let some things go.

1148
01:15:45.460 --> 01:15:47.180
It's time to let some things go.

1149
01:15:47.180 --> 01:15:49.960
It's time to let some things go ahead and die.

1150
01:15:49.960 --> 01:15:52.720
New beginnings require endings.

1151
01:15:52.720 --> 01:15:54.080
That's a true story.

1152
01:15:56.540 --> 01:15:58.180
That's a true story.

1153
01:15:58.180 --> 01:15:59.340
I'm just looking through your stuff.

1154
01:15:59.340 --> 01:16:00.180
All right, y'all.

1155
01:16:01.340 --> 01:16:03.540
Okay, we have about three more minutes here.

1156
01:16:04.540 --> 01:16:05.980
Good session.

1157
01:16:05.980 --> 01:16:09.660
You guys are gonna be going forward into your part three.

1158
01:16:09.660 --> 01:16:11.620
Part three is supposed to be two parts.

1159
01:16:11.620 --> 01:16:16.620
It's supposed to be part three

1160
01:16:16.620 --> 01:16:20.340
and then part three B or part four.

1161
01:16:20.340 --> 01:16:21.460
So what I want you to do,

1162
01:16:21.460 --> 01:16:22.820
cause I don't think that they split that up.

1163
01:16:22.820 --> 01:16:24.700
So what I would like for you to do is,

1164
01:16:24.700 --> 01:16:28.140
I would like for you to do the repentance.

1165
01:16:28.140 --> 01:16:33.140
So I'm gonna see if we can really quickly split that up.

1166
01:16:33.660 --> 01:16:35.540
But if we can't split that up,

1167
01:16:35.540 --> 01:16:38.700
I want you to only, in the reading,

1168
01:16:38.700 --> 01:16:40.940
I want you to only read through the repentance

1169
01:16:40.940 --> 01:16:42.460
and confession.

1170
01:16:42.460 --> 01:16:46.060
I want you guys to leave forgiveness for next week.

1171
01:16:46.060 --> 01:16:47.820
So when you get to the forgiveness videos

1172
01:16:47.820 --> 01:16:49.900
or you get to the forgiveness part of the reading,

1173
01:16:49.900 --> 01:16:51.660
just know that that's gonna be for next week.

1174
01:16:51.660 --> 01:16:53.900
And I want you to focus on the forgiveness

1175
01:16:54.060 --> 01:16:56.580
and I want you to focus on repentance and confession.

1176
01:16:56.580 --> 01:17:00.340
It is way more than enough for this week, all right?

1177
01:17:00.340 --> 01:17:02.700
For us to do together, all right?

1178
01:17:03.900 --> 01:17:05.460
So father, I just thank you for your daughters

1179
01:17:05.460 --> 01:17:07.420
and I thank you that you are teaching us

1180
01:17:07.420 --> 01:17:11.620
that we do not have to be anything

1181
01:17:11.620 --> 01:17:13.300
other than what you've made us.

1182
01:17:13.300 --> 01:17:15.260
That we don't have to show up with masks on,

1183
01:17:15.260 --> 01:17:17.580
that we don't have to show up as people pleasers,

1184
01:17:17.580 --> 01:17:19.300
that we are worthy to get to know,

1185
01:17:19.300 --> 01:17:20.660
that we are worthy of love,

1186
01:17:20.660 --> 01:17:23.620
that we've been created from love and for love

1187
01:17:24.540 --> 01:17:27.020
and so Lord, we just thank you for all of these truths

1188
01:17:27.020 --> 01:17:29.100
that you are releasing over us.

1189
01:17:29.100 --> 01:17:31.900
We thank you God that you are helping us to have hope.

1190
01:17:31.900 --> 01:17:33.820
I just release supernatural hope

1191
01:17:33.820 --> 01:17:35.620
over each and every one of your daughters

1192
01:17:35.620 --> 01:17:38.580
in the area where their hope is dwindling,

1193
01:17:38.580 --> 01:17:41.460
where that flame is burning out God, we just blow.

1194
01:17:43.820 --> 01:17:47.860
We just blow on the flame of hope in those areas Lord,

1195
01:17:47.860 --> 01:17:51.420
that it begins to come alive Lord,

1196
01:17:51.460 --> 01:17:53.740
that it begins to spark up God.

1197
01:17:53.740 --> 01:17:55.220
We just thank you God for it.

1198
01:17:55.220 --> 01:17:57.460
We thank you that it begins to burn bright Lord

1199
01:17:57.460 --> 01:18:01.100
in these areas where your promises live

1200
01:18:01.100 --> 01:18:02.980
but they haven't been fulfilled yet Lord.

1201
01:18:02.980 --> 01:18:05.900
We thank you that you are not a liar

1202
01:18:05.900 --> 01:18:08.380
and that everything that you've promised,

1203
01:18:08.380 --> 01:18:12.340
you are here and ready to partner with us to accomplish.

1204
01:18:12.340 --> 01:18:14.580
And so Lord, we are going to partner with you.

1205
01:18:14.580 --> 01:18:17.180
We are no longer gonna wait in waiting rooms,

1206
01:18:17.180 --> 01:18:19.780
we are going to be actively preparing

1207
01:18:19.780 --> 01:18:23.100
and partnering with you in these areas of our promises Lord

1208
01:18:23.100 --> 01:18:25.020
and so we declare that now.

1209
01:18:25.020 --> 01:18:26.860
And so Lord, last but not least,

1210
01:18:26.860 --> 01:18:30.860
God help us to let go of things that are robbing us of hope,

1211
01:18:30.860 --> 01:18:33.860
things that should have been long dead and buried God,

1212
01:18:33.860 --> 01:18:35.940
things that we are trying to control,

1213
01:18:35.940 --> 01:18:37.900
things that we're trying to keep together

1214
01:18:37.900 --> 01:18:39.460
but we really need to just let them go

1215
01:18:39.460 --> 01:18:40.740
and let them fall apart.

1216
01:18:42.300 --> 01:18:43.620
It's time for new things.

1217
01:18:44.580 --> 01:18:47.980
You say in your word, I am doing a new thing.

1218
01:18:47.980 --> 01:18:49.260
Can you perceive it?

1219
01:18:49.660 --> 01:18:50.700
Lord, help us to perceive it.

1220
01:18:50.700 --> 01:18:52.900
I just release heaven's perception

1221
01:18:52.900 --> 01:18:55.540
over each and every one of us tonight Lord,

1222
01:18:55.540 --> 01:18:57.820
that we begin to perceive God.

1223
01:18:57.820 --> 01:19:01.260
We begin to see Lord and understand and sense God

1224
01:19:01.260 --> 01:19:04.020
what it is that you're doing new in our lives.

1225
01:19:04.020 --> 01:19:06.300
We begin to dream with you Lord.

1226
01:19:06.300 --> 01:19:09.180
Psalm 126, we're coming out of captivity God

1227
01:19:09.180 --> 01:19:11.460
and we're beginning to dream.

1228
01:19:11.460 --> 01:19:14.420
We're beginning to sing songs of joy Lord,

1229
01:19:14.420 --> 01:19:16.460
we're beginning to believe that even though

1230
01:19:16.500 --> 01:19:18.620
we've gone forth for so many years,

1231
01:19:18.620 --> 01:19:21.100
weeping, bearing precious seed,

1232
01:19:21.100 --> 01:19:24.460
it's our time to come out rejoicing,

1233
01:19:24.460 --> 01:19:26.700
carrying our harvest with us.

1234
01:19:26.700 --> 01:19:29.020
Now is our time Lord.

1235
01:19:29.020 --> 01:19:31.060
And so help us to be willing to be made willing

1236
01:19:31.060 --> 01:19:33.060
in your day of power to let go of things

1237
01:19:33.060 --> 01:19:34.780
that we need to let go of,

1238
01:19:34.780 --> 01:19:37.060
to let you prune and purge God,

1239
01:19:37.060 --> 01:19:39.180
to let you remove and make space Lord,

1240
01:19:39.180 --> 01:19:41.260
to surrender the pen to you God

1241
01:19:41.260 --> 01:19:43.740
in all the areas of our wildest dreams

1242
01:19:43.740 --> 01:19:45.820
and the purest whispers of our hearts

1243
01:19:45.860 --> 01:19:48.620
so that you can fulfill them your way.

1244
01:19:48.620 --> 01:19:52.140
And in this time, in Jesus name, let it be so.

1245
01:19:52.140 --> 01:19:52.980
Amen.

1246
01:19:54.060 --> 01:19:54.900
All right.

1247
01:19:54.900 --> 01:19:56.380
Love y'all, bless you all.

1248
01:19:56.380 --> 01:19:58.900
Go forward into part three.

1249
01:19:58.900 --> 01:19:59.900
Show up for each other.

1250
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:02.080
Bruce, show up for each other.

1251
01:20:02.080 --> 01:20:03.000
Please do that.

1252
01:20:03.000 --> 01:20:05.360
You guys will not regret showing up for each other

1253
01:20:05.360 --> 01:20:07.020
and really supporting one another

1254
01:20:07.020 --> 01:20:08.760
and cheering one another on

1255
01:20:08.760 --> 01:20:11.360
because that is what makes things so special here

1256
01:20:11.360 --> 01:20:12.460
in our movement.

1257
01:20:12.460 --> 01:20:13.300
All right.

1258
01:20:13.300 --> 01:20:14.120
Love y'all.

1259
01:20:14.120 --> 01:20:14.960
See you soon.

1260
01:20:14.960 --> 01:20:15.800
Bye everyone.

1261
01:20:15.800 --> 01:20:16.620
Bye.