WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:05.940 Hi, welcome back. 2 00:00:05.940 --> 00:00:08.020 This is the end of part three. 3 00:00:08.020 --> 00:00:09.020 Can you believe it? 4 00:00:09.020 --> 00:00:11.240 We're at the end of part three. 5 00:00:11.240 --> 00:00:16.280 And so the last video we talked about that revealing for healing process that's happening. 6 00:00:16.280 --> 00:00:18.860 And how do we reconnect to our real selves. 7 00:00:18.860 --> 00:00:20.600 And I gave you a few tools. 8 00:00:20.600 --> 00:00:24.940 Remember I gave you the tools of repentance, confession and forgiveness. 9 00:00:24.940 --> 00:00:29.100 These are the ways that we are going to come out from underneath all of those counterfeit 10 00:00:29.100 --> 00:00:33.540 layers, all of those things that are unworthy of us, that aren't the real us, and we're 11 00:00:33.540 --> 00:00:35.960 going to reconnect to the real us. 12 00:00:35.960 --> 00:00:40.340 And so I talked about repentance and confession, but now I want to talk a little bit about 13 00:00:40.340 --> 00:00:41.340 forgiveness. 14 00:00:41.340 --> 00:00:44.540 And I think a lot of times when we hear the word forgiveness, we automatically assume 15 00:00:44.540 --> 00:00:45.940 that we're forgiving someone else. 16 00:00:45.940 --> 00:00:48.580 We think forgiveness is something that we give others. 17 00:00:48.580 --> 00:00:52.200 The problem is, is that we forget to give it to ourselves. 18 00:00:52.200 --> 00:00:56.380 And we have to, we have to give it to ourselves first and foremost, because whoever God is 19 00:00:56.380 --> 00:00:58.580 to us, he's going to be through us. 20 00:00:58.580 --> 00:01:02.460 And so if we're not willing to forgive ourselves for all the unworthy things that we've done, 21 00:01:02.460 --> 00:01:05.500 it's going to be really hard for us to forgive others. 22 00:01:05.500 --> 00:01:06.500 It is. 23 00:01:06.500 --> 00:01:10.340 And so if you find yourself being really unforgiving, you're probably pretty unforgiving towards 24 00:01:10.340 --> 00:01:11.420 yourself. 25 00:01:11.420 --> 00:01:16.220 And so before offering forgiveness to another person, let's offer it to ourselves first. 26 00:01:16.220 --> 00:01:17.260 Okay. 27 00:01:17.260 --> 00:01:19.140 We have to offer it to ourselves first. 28 00:01:19.140 --> 00:01:20.340 And so I'm going to tell you a little story. 29 00:01:20.340 --> 00:01:24.700 I'm going to tell you a personal story about the power of forgiveness and the power of 30 00:01:24.700 --> 00:01:26.300 forgiving yourself. 31 00:01:26.300 --> 00:01:29.060 And so I'll talk about my mom for a few minutes. 32 00:01:29.060 --> 00:01:32.060 I didn't really get to know my mom until the last couple of years of her life. 33 00:01:32.060 --> 00:01:36.700 Of course, I knew her, you know, she raised me until I was 13 or 14 years old, but she 34 00:01:36.700 --> 00:01:38.020 was not herself. 35 00:01:38.020 --> 00:01:39.420 She was in a lot of counterfeit identities. 36 00:01:39.420 --> 00:01:42.940 There was a lot of trauma, a lot of hurt, a lot of pain. 37 00:01:42.940 --> 00:01:46.300 And eventually I went to live in a girl's home and foster care situations. 38 00:01:46.300 --> 00:01:49.700 And then I didn't get to know her any further after 14 years old. 39 00:01:49.700 --> 00:01:52.220 So she was always a mystery to me. 40 00:01:52.220 --> 00:01:53.220 And I loved her. 41 00:01:53.220 --> 00:01:54.220 I loved her so much. 42 00:01:54.220 --> 00:01:55.500 And I wanted to know her. 43 00:01:55.500 --> 00:01:59.700 I was always contending for relationship with her even before I ever met Jesus. 44 00:01:59.700 --> 00:02:03.900 But after I met Jesus at 22, then I really wanted reconciliation. 45 00:02:03.900 --> 00:02:07.980 I wanted restoration for my family, but every time I would try to get restoration with my 46 00:02:07.980 --> 00:02:10.180 mom, it just wouldn't go anywhere. 47 00:02:10.180 --> 00:02:14.900 I think some of you probably have that experience too, with a loved one, a grown child, a parent, 48 00:02:14.900 --> 00:02:18.500 someone who's living in a counterfeit identity, and they just won't let you in. 49 00:02:18.500 --> 00:02:20.160 They cut you out of their lives. 50 00:02:20.160 --> 00:02:24.700 They hang the phone up on you when you call, or they won't take your phone calls at all. 51 00:02:24.700 --> 00:02:27.340 You just can't get any further into intimacy with them. 52 00:02:27.340 --> 00:02:31.220 And that's what I ran into with my mother over and over and over again. 53 00:02:31.220 --> 00:02:35.280 But I believed I had a promise from the Lord, a promise for reconciliation. 54 00:02:35.280 --> 00:02:38.260 And I believed that someday she was going to come out from underneath all those counterfeit 55 00:02:38.260 --> 00:02:42.140 ideas and identities, and that we were going to reconnect. 56 00:02:42.140 --> 00:02:43.300 And that happened. 57 00:02:43.300 --> 00:02:45.860 It happened in the last two years of her life. 58 00:02:45.860 --> 00:02:50.340 Unfortunately, my mother was given a diagnosis of no hope and no time. 59 00:02:50.340 --> 00:02:54.520 And it was during that time that I was able to have this reconciliation and this reconnection 60 00:02:54.520 --> 00:02:55.800 with her. 61 00:02:55.800 --> 00:03:01.760 Right after she was diagnosed with this advanced cancer situation, I was with her. 62 00:03:01.760 --> 00:03:03.680 And I really shouldn't have been. 63 00:03:03.680 --> 00:03:07.360 Considering our history, there's no way that I should have been there for such an intimate 64 00:03:07.360 --> 00:03:08.360 time in her life. 65 00:03:08.360 --> 00:03:10.080 But God allowed me to be there. 66 00:03:10.080 --> 00:03:15.080 He allowed me to be involved because of this promise that I was carrying of reconciliation 67 00:03:15.080 --> 00:03:16.080 with her. 68 00:03:16.080 --> 00:03:19.240 But she was really giving up hope, I could tell. 69 00:03:19.240 --> 00:03:23.440 And even though I didn't really know her very well, I could see that there was a block. 70 00:03:23.440 --> 00:03:27.280 There was something that was blocking her from being able to believe that she could 71 00:03:27.280 --> 00:03:32.760 overcome what was happening in her life, that Jesus had died and shed his blood on the cross. 72 00:03:32.760 --> 00:03:36.560 She was a believer, but she just wasn't, it wasn't able to get from here to here. 73 00:03:36.560 --> 00:03:40.440 Remember, we're talking about the truth getting from here to here. 74 00:03:40.440 --> 00:03:44.160 And so she was lying in her bed at home, and I was with her in her home. 75 00:03:44.160 --> 00:03:47.680 And I could just tell, it was like there was a guardian. 76 00:03:47.680 --> 00:03:52.200 There was a gatekeeper of shame that was standing there and was not allowing anything to get 77 00:03:52.200 --> 00:03:53.200 in. 78 00:03:53.960 --> 00:03:54.960 And I knew that there were secrets. 79 00:03:54.960 --> 00:03:58.000 You know, when you come from any kind of dysfunctional family, the kind of broken family I come 80 00:03:58.000 --> 00:04:00.640 from, of course, there's always secrets. 81 00:04:00.640 --> 00:04:02.280 There's always secrets. 82 00:04:02.280 --> 00:04:07.280 And you know, God really spoke to me and said, James 5, 16, confess your faults to one another 83 00:04:07.280 --> 00:04:08.600 and be healed. 84 00:04:08.600 --> 00:04:12.400 And so I knew that there was something, you know, it's like, it's like the Lord of the 85 00:04:12.400 --> 00:04:14.920 Rings smog, the dragon guarding the treasure. 86 00:04:14.920 --> 00:04:20.480 I knew that there was a gatekeeper of shame that was guarding these deeper areas of intimacy 87 00:04:20.480 --> 00:04:22.079 in my mother's heart. 88 00:04:22.079 --> 00:04:23.360 And I just didn't know how to get there. 89 00:04:23.360 --> 00:04:24.800 I would say, hey, how you feeling? 90 00:04:24.800 --> 00:04:25.800 What are you thinking? 91 00:04:25.800 --> 00:04:27.880 You know, what's going on inside of you? 92 00:04:27.880 --> 00:04:31.180 But I could never get past that block with her. 93 00:04:31.180 --> 00:04:34.120 She would never open up to me and tell me anything. 94 00:04:34.120 --> 00:04:38.360 And so one day I was out doing a few groceries, you know, getting a few groceries, doing some 95 00:04:38.360 --> 00:04:44.520 shopping and I heard God say to me again, James 5, 16, confess your faults to one another 96 00:04:44.520 --> 00:04:46.960 and be healed. 97 00:04:46.960 --> 00:04:50.480 And so I rushed back to my mom's house and as soon as I walked in the door, I heard her 98 00:04:50.480 --> 00:04:53.640 calling me from her room, Hey Jackie, come here, come here. 99 00:04:53.640 --> 00:04:54.640 And I went in there. 100 00:04:54.640 --> 00:04:57.720 And as soon as she saw me, she began to pour out her heart. 101 00:04:57.720 --> 00:05:00.040 It was like something, there's something. 102 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:05.400 She began to pour out her heart about how she had some things in her life that she was 103 00:05:05.400 --> 00:05:09.160 really ashamed of, things that she had never told anybody else. 104 00:05:09.160 --> 00:05:14.720 Not her former husbands, not her best friends since she was five years old, nobody. 105 00:05:14.720 --> 00:05:19.400 And she said, I really want to be free of these secrets that I'm carrying. 106 00:05:19.400 --> 00:05:21.680 I keep asking God to forgive me of these things. 107 00:05:21.680 --> 00:05:26.320 I'm so ashamed of these things that I've done, but I just never feel forgiven. 108 00:05:26.320 --> 00:05:31.080 And I'm wondering if I was able to tell another human person these things, would that help 109 00:05:31.080 --> 00:05:33.040 me feel like God has forgiven me? 110 00:05:33.040 --> 00:05:36.480 And I said, mom, you're saying James 5, 16 right now. 111 00:05:36.480 --> 00:05:38.920 God just told me that in the car when I was at the grocery store. 112 00:05:38.920 --> 00:05:39.920 And she's like, wow. 113 00:05:39.920 --> 00:05:42.040 She's like, well, I want to do this. 114 00:05:42.040 --> 00:05:43.600 And I said, all right, I'm going to find you a pastor. 115 00:05:43.600 --> 00:05:47.200 I'm going to find you a minister, someone you can confess this stuff to, someone who's 116 00:05:47.200 --> 00:05:50.680 not going to judge you, someone who can feel like you have this privacy with. 117 00:05:50.680 --> 00:05:53.240 And she said, well, I don't want to tell anybody else. 118 00:05:53.240 --> 00:05:54.680 I want to tell you. 119 00:05:54.680 --> 00:05:57.600 And so someone, when someone who has been a mystery to you all your life and you've 120 00:05:57.600 --> 00:06:00.600 been estranged from them tells you all of a sudden that they want to tell you their 121 00:06:00.600 --> 00:06:04.280 deepest, darkest secrets, that can get pretty scary, right? 122 00:06:04.280 --> 00:06:06.720 And on the outside, I was like, okay, yeah, you can tell me anything. 123 00:06:06.720 --> 00:06:09.560 But on the inside, I was like, oh, what's going to happen? 124 00:06:09.560 --> 00:06:10.560 I don't know. 125 00:06:10.560 --> 00:06:12.200 I don't know what's going to happen. 126 00:06:12.200 --> 00:06:14.080 And you know, she even told me, you're going to hate me for this. 127 00:06:14.080 --> 00:06:18.440 And I'm like, well, I don't know what she's about to tell me, what Pandora's box is about 128 00:06:18.440 --> 00:06:19.440 to be opened. 129 00:06:19.440 --> 00:06:23.240 But I just trusted and leaned into God that I was in this moment of grace with her. 130 00:06:23.240 --> 00:06:28.520 And I'm so glad that God, I got an opportunity to be in that moment with her because as soon 131 00:06:28.520 --> 00:06:32.040 as she began to confess, I saw the light returning to her eyes. 132 00:06:32.040 --> 00:06:34.840 I saw the joy returning to her face. 133 00:06:34.840 --> 00:06:37.320 And I was able to say, mom, I'm so sorry that this happened to you. 134 00:06:37.320 --> 00:06:41.240 I'm so sorry that you felt like you were backed in a corner and that you had no options and 135 00:06:41.240 --> 00:06:44.080 no choices and that you felt like you had to do these things. 136 00:06:44.080 --> 00:06:48.820 And I forgive you and I love you and God forgives you and he loves you and there's no shame 137 00:06:48.820 --> 00:06:49.820 in this. 138 00:06:49.940 --> 00:06:55.020 Mom, I'm not embarrassed or angry at you at all for what you're telling me and you shouldn't 139 00:06:55.020 --> 00:06:59.540 be there because I've heard this type of thing before, you know, and so often the enemy will 140 00:06:59.540 --> 00:07:02.980 back us into a corner of secrecy and tell us, ah, you're the only person who's ever 141 00:07:02.980 --> 00:07:04.260 done this thing. 142 00:07:04.260 --> 00:07:08.620 You're the only person who's ever lowered themselves to this place. 143 00:07:08.620 --> 00:07:09.620 And it's not true. 144 00:07:09.620 --> 00:07:13.540 There are so many people who've experienced the same type of thing as you. 145 00:07:13.540 --> 00:07:17.260 And unfortunately, sometimes when we speak our truth and we tell people the things that 146 00:07:17.260 --> 00:07:21.220 have happened to us, especially for those of us that have been sexually abused within 147 00:07:21.220 --> 00:07:27.020 family or by family, um, people don't believe us, or at least they say they don't believe 148 00:07:27.020 --> 00:07:28.020 us. 149 00:07:28.020 --> 00:07:30.740 And so we're met with that unbelief and we're met with doubt. 150 00:07:30.740 --> 00:07:36.420 And if that has happened to you, I want to let you know that you still have the ability 151 00:07:36.420 --> 00:07:38.500 to speak your truth. 152 00:07:38.500 --> 00:07:41.340 Those people, it wasn't that they didn't believe you. 153 00:07:41.340 --> 00:07:45.900 It's just that when you were telling them, um, they were held accountable to it. 154 00:07:45.900 --> 00:07:50.460 And a lot of times when catastrophic things happen in family like that, people don't want 155 00:07:50.460 --> 00:07:53.660 to admit that they believe you because that means that they're going to have to change 156 00:07:53.660 --> 00:07:54.660 something. 157 00:07:54.660 --> 00:07:57.820 And they might have to divorce that person that's hurting you, or they're going to have 158 00:07:57.820 --> 00:08:00.620 to stay away from that family member, or maybe you're not going to be able to go back to 159 00:08:00.620 --> 00:08:02.880 that school or that daycare anymore. 160 00:08:02.880 --> 00:08:05.420 And they're just not ready to make those changes. 161 00:08:05.420 --> 00:08:07.420 They don't want to make those changes. 162 00:08:07.420 --> 00:08:10.380 And so they're like, ah, yeah, you're just making it up. 163 00:08:10.380 --> 00:08:14.060 But they know you're not making it up deep down inside somewhere. 164 00:08:14.060 --> 00:08:15.900 People know when they're hearing the truth. 165 00:08:15.900 --> 00:08:16.900 I believe that. 166 00:08:16.900 --> 00:08:22.220 And so I want to release you from that shame of being told that you're a liar for the people 167 00:08:22.220 --> 00:08:23.860 that didn't believe you. 168 00:08:23.860 --> 00:08:27.100 And if you're finally ready to confess again, I believe that God's going to put people in 169 00:08:27.100 --> 00:08:31.880 your life that you can confess to, uh, even here in this community. 170 00:08:31.880 --> 00:08:36.140 If you join this community, it's a safe space, a safe space where you're going to receive 171 00:08:36.140 --> 00:08:40.039 the response of heaven for the things that you have to confess. 172 00:08:40.039 --> 00:08:44.560 And part of this homework for this video is, is making that confession video. 173 00:08:44.560 --> 00:08:48.640 Just go ahead and let us know, let us know what it is that you want to get off your chest. 174 00:08:48.640 --> 00:08:53.620 There's such a great deal of freedom when we begin to, um, confess and forgive ourselves 175 00:08:53.620 --> 00:08:54.900 and forgive others. 176 00:08:54.900 --> 00:08:58.080 And so when my mom confessed, I was able to come into agreement with heaven, that she 177 00:08:58.080 --> 00:09:01.400 was forgiven, that she was released from those things and those things didn't have any power 178 00:09:01.400 --> 00:09:02.720 over her anymore. 179 00:09:02.720 --> 00:09:03.720 And then guess what? 180 00:09:03.720 --> 00:09:07.640 When she felt forgiven, she was able to forgive others, the other characters in the story 181 00:09:07.880 --> 00:09:11.080 there's always other characters to our stories, right? 182 00:09:11.080 --> 00:09:13.680 And the thing that you have to understand about this beautiful gift of forgiveness that 183 00:09:13.680 --> 00:09:16.920 you give yourself and you give others is that it's not a feeling. 184 00:09:16.920 --> 00:09:19.800 A lot of times there's no feeling associated with it. 185 00:09:19.800 --> 00:09:23.160 And if you expect there to be a feeling associated with it, then you'll feel like you haven't 186 00:09:23.160 --> 00:09:24.160 forgiven them. 187 00:09:24.160 --> 00:09:28.240 And the next time they make you mad, you're going to feel like, oh, I didn't forgive them, 188 00:09:28.240 --> 00:09:29.240 but it's not a feeling. 189 00:09:29.240 --> 00:09:31.440 It's a supernatural transaction. 190 00:09:31.440 --> 00:09:35.600 It's a, it's a, it's like canceling a debt that someone owes you. 191 00:09:35.600 --> 00:09:40.040 And a lot of times there's some aftermath to whatever it is that you're forgiving, and 192 00:09:40.040 --> 00:09:42.880 maybe you're still living in the consequences of that aftermath. 193 00:09:42.880 --> 00:09:44.840 And so that makes it hard to forgive. 194 00:09:44.840 --> 00:09:47.760 You still feel like you're being punished, whether it's something you did or something 195 00:09:47.760 --> 00:09:51.000 someone did to you, but you're not being punished by God. 196 00:09:51.000 --> 00:09:54.480 You might be punishing yourself, but God's not punishing you. 197 00:09:54.480 --> 00:09:55.480 And guess what? 198 00:09:55.480 --> 00:09:57.160 He doesn't want to punish them either. 199 00:09:57.160 --> 00:09:58.160 He doesn't. 200 00:09:58.160 --> 00:10:00.000 He wants to take what the enemy meant for evil, and he wants to. 201 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:02.200 turn it to everybody's good. 202 00:10:02.200 --> 00:10:04.720 But the only way that he can do that is if we forgive. 203 00:10:04.720 --> 00:10:09.120 When we forgive, we release God to take those ashes 204 00:10:09.120 --> 00:10:11.240 and to make those things beautiful. 205 00:10:11.240 --> 00:10:12.600 And so if you feel like you're still living 206 00:10:12.600 --> 00:10:15.000 in the consequences of what other people have done, 207 00:10:15.000 --> 00:10:18.340 other people's mistakes, other people's bad choices, 208 00:10:18.340 --> 00:10:19.920 or if you feel like you're still living 209 00:10:19.920 --> 00:10:23.320 in the consequences of your bad choices and your mistakes, 210 00:10:23.320 --> 00:10:26.160 that probably means that there needs to be some forgiveness. 211 00:10:26.160 --> 00:10:29.320 Because Romans 8.28 promises that God will turn all things 212 00:10:29.320 --> 00:10:30.720 to the good of those that love him 213 00:10:30.720 --> 00:10:32.440 and are called according to his purpose. 214 00:10:32.440 --> 00:10:33.360 What does that mean? 215 00:10:33.360 --> 00:10:35.280 It means he'll take even the worst stuff, 216 00:10:35.280 --> 00:10:36.280 the most bitter stuff, 217 00:10:36.280 --> 00:10:38.880 and he'll use it as an ingredient to bless you. 218 00:10:38.880 --> 00:10:40.720 He'll mix some good stuff in with it, 219 00:10:40.720 --> 00:10:42.520 and he will use it as an ingredient 220 00:10:42.520 --> 00:10:44.640 to bless you and to prosper you. 221 00:10:44.640 --> 00:10:47.360 And so if you don't have a beautiful story to tell 222 00:10:47.360 --> 00:10:49.960 of reconciliation yet, like mine, 223 00:10:49.960 --> 00:10:51.660 if you don't have a beautiful story to tell 224 00:10:51.660 --> 00:10:54.440 of how God took those ashes and made them beautiful, 225 00:10:54.440 --> 00:10:56.600 then it probably means that there needs 226 00:10:56.600 --> 00:10:58.360 to be some work in this area. 227 00:10:58.360 --> 00:11:00.880 And I believe Holy Spirit will highlight to you 228 00:11:00.880 --> 00:11:03.680 that person that you need to forgive, 229 00:11:03.680 --> 00:11:06.320 that thing that you're still holding onto. 230 00:11:06.320 --> 00:11:08.640 A lot of times this comes in the form of memories 231 00:11:08.640 --> 00:11:10.540 that make us feel negatively. 232 00:11:10.540 --> 00:11:12.560 So when you remember that thing that happened, 233 00:11:12.560 --> 00:11:15.360 when something brings it back up to your conscious mind, 234 00:11:15.360 --> 00:11:18.520 you just, you feel embarrassed, you feel hurt, 235 00:11:18.520 --> 00:11:19.660 you feel angry. 236 00:11:20.520 --> 00:11:23.200 Anger is an emotion that is showing us 237 00:11:23.200 --> 00:11:24.760 that there needs to be some confession, 238 00:11:24.760 --> 00:11:27.000 repentance, or forgiveness. 239 00:11:27.000 --> 00:11:30.040 Maybe you feel humiliated, you feel revengeful, 240 00:11:30.040 --> 00:11:30.920 you feel bitter. 241 00:11:30.920 --> 00:11:33.640 Whatever the negative emotion is that's coming up 242 00:11:33.640 --> 00:11:35.480 when you think about that memory, 243 00:11:35.480 --> 00:11:39.160 that is just evidence that there is something there still 244 00:11:39.160 --> 00:11:41.020 that you need to release to God. 245 00:11:41.020 --> 00:11:44.300 And so as that happens, I want you to really use 246 00:11:44.300 --> 00:11:47.680 these homework worksheets that we've given you. 247 00:11:47.680 --> 00:11:50.160 Don't just do one, don't just do two. 248 00:11:50.160 --> 00:11:52.360 If you have a really troubled relationship with someone, 249 00:11:52.360 --> 00:11:56.360 you may have to do 10 or 20 even for that one person. 250 00:11:56.360 --> 00:11:59.160 Every single memory that you have of something 251 00:11:59.160 --> 00:12:00.760 that they did to hurt you, 252 00:12:00.760 --> 00:12:02.960 something that made you feel ashamed of yourself, 253 00:12:02.960 --> 00:12:04.920 you wanna forgive that thing. 254 00:12:04.920 --> 00:12:07.840 So, God, I forgive blank for the time 255 00:12:07.840 --> 00:12:10.280 that they embarrassed me in front of my friends, 256 00:12:10.280 --> 00:12:11.480 the time that they lied about me, 257 00:12:11.480 --> 00:12:13.360 the time that they made up a rumor about me, 258 00:12:13.360 --> 00:12:14.560 or I forgive myself. 259 00:12:14.560 --> 00:12:17.160 Maybe you're gonna put yourself into that template. 260 00:12:17.160 --> 00:12:20.780 You're gonna say, I forgive myself for making bad choices, 261 00:12:20.780 --> 00:12:24.160 for choosing that person even though I saw the red flags, 262 00:12:24.160 --> 00:12:27.440 for taking that job even though I didn't have a piece 263 00:12:27.440 --> 00:12:29.200 about it in my heart, 264 00:12:29.200 --> 00:12:33.120 for whatever it is that you feel like you did unworthily, 265 00:12:33.120 --> 00:12:36.280 you're gonna put it in that blank. 266 00:12:36.280 --> 00:12:38.520 Whatever has led to all those consequences 267 00:12:38.520 --> 00:12:40.440 and all that aftermath in your life. 268 00:12:40.440 --> 00:12:43.400 Maybe you lied about someone, maybe you hurt someone, 269 00:12:43.400 --> 00:12:45.560 maybe you left someone, maybe you cheated on someone, 270 00:12:45.560 --> 00:12:48.120 maybe in the story, you're the villain. 271 00:12:48.120 --> 00:12:50.200 Instead of someone else being the cheater, 272 00:12:50.200 --> 00:12:54.200 the beater, the liar, maybe that's you in the story. 273 00:12:54.200 --> 00:12:56.480 Maybe the false identity that you took on was the liar, 274 00:12:56.480 --> 00:12:59.040 the cheater, the beater, the user, the abuser, 275 00:12:59.040 --> 00:13:00.880 and that's okay. 276 00:13:00.880 --> 00:13:03.320 Because you're admitting that I made mistakes. 277 00:13:03.320 --> 00:13:05.560 You're admitting when you fill this out 278 00:13:05.560 --> 00:13:07.720 that you're worthy of being forgiven. 279 00:13:07.720 --> 00:13:09.440 If other people are worthy of forgiveness, 280 00:13:09.440 --> 00:13:13.680 then you certainly are worthy of forgiveness as well. 281 00:13:13.680 --> 00:13:16.780 And so, we're perfectly imperfect. 282 00:13:16.780 --> 00:13:18.760 We're never gonna be perfect on this side of heaven, 283 00:13:18.760 --> 00:13:20.920 whether we're friends or not. 284 00:13:20.920 --> 00:13:22.720 And so, it's really important that we understand 285 00:13:22.720 --> 00:13:24.840 that we're gonna have to use forgiveness 286 00:13:24.840 --> 00:13:27.120 as a everyday tool. 287 00:13:27.120 --> 00:13:30.160 Every day, keep a short list, forgive easily, 288 00:13:30.160 --> 00:13:32.840 forgive quickly, yourself and others. 289 00:13:32.840 --> 00:13:34.200 One of the ladies in our mentorship 290 00:13:34.200 --> 00:13:37.600 had an opportunity to do this just recently. 291 00:13:37.600 --> 00:13:40.480 Her husband just ghosted her, not her boyfriend or husband. 292 00:13:40.480 --> 00:13:42.640 He just disappeared after 13 years of marriage. 293 00:13:42.640 --> 00:13:45.760 No note, no reason, just disappeared. 294 00:13:45.760 --> 00:13:47.920 And so, she didn't have any closure. 295 00:13:47.920 --> 00:13:49.960 You already see this in your reading assignment, 296 00:13:49.960 --> 00:13:53.640 but closure is just a fancy word for forgiveness. 297 00:13:53.640 --> 00:13:54.960 We don't feel like we have closure 298 00:13:54.960 --> 00:13:57.320 because we haven't been able to forgive yet. 299 00:13:57.320 --> 00:13:58.600 And so, something beautiful happened 300 00:13:58.600 --> 00:14:00.200 as she began to do this heart workshop 301 00:14:00.200 --> 00:14:01.560 and she began to deal with her heart 302 00:14:01.560 --> 00:14:04.600 and forgive and release and confess and repent. 303 00:14:04.600 --> 00:14:05.860 Guess what happened? 304 00:14:05.860 --> 00:14:10.760 After many years of silence, her husband, 305 00:14:10.760 --> 00:14:12.960 her former husband, her was-bend, as we call it, 306 00:14:12.960 --> 00:14:14.360 just showed up out of the blue. 307 00:14:14.360 --> 00:14:16.200 She ran into him somewhere. 308 00:14:16.200 --> 00:14:18.200 And no, they're not getting back together 309 00:14:18.200 --> 00:14:20.360 if you think that's the ending of the story. 310 00:14:20.360 --> 00:14:21.760 No, he just showed up somewhere 311 00:14:21.760 --> 00:14:23.760 and he's married and has a different family. 312 00:14:23.760 --> 00:14:25.360 And of course, she knows about him, 313 00:14:25.360 --> 00:14:28.200 even though he left her with no explanation, 314 00:14:28.200 --> 00:14:30.320 they had to go through that divorce process, 315 00:14:30.320 --> 00:14:31.960 that dissolution of their marriage. 316 00:14:31.960 --> 00:14:33.640 So, she got little tidbits here and there, 317 00:14:33.640 --> 00:14:36.440 but she never really had the, you know, 318 00:14:36.440 --> 00:14:38.920 he never honored her or respected her enough 319 00:14:38.920 --> 00:14:42.920 to have a face-to-face with her about what had changed, 320 00:14:42.920 --> 00:14:45.360 why he had left, why he didn't love her anymore, 321 00:14:45.360 --> 00:14:47.880 why he didn't think that they could be married anymore. 322 00:14:47.880 --> 00:14:49.840 And so, when she ran into him, 323 00:14:49.840 --> 00:14:53.920 he messaged her after that chance encounter and said, 324 00:14:53.920 --> 00:14:56.480 hey, you know, you've been on my mind a lot, 325 00:14:56.480 --> 00:14:57.720 even before I ran into you, 326 00:14:57.720 --> 00:15:00.080 and I really would like to talk to you if you. 327 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:06.400 give me the opportunity. And so during that talk, he was able to ask for forgiveness. 328 00:15:06.400 --> 00:15:10.080 He was able to tell her all the things that he was going through back then, 329 00:15:10.080 --> 00:15:14.800 and was able to let her know that it wasn't her fault, that it was all him, that it wasn't her, 330 00:15:14.800 --> 00:15:21.600 and to release her from any of the mystery that she was still living under. And she was able to 331 00:15:21.600 --> 00:15:25.920 forgive him. She was able to release him. Now, a lot of us are not going to receive those type 332 00:15:25.920 --> 00:15:31.440 of apologies, or at least not right now. And we have to be able to forgive those that are not 333 00:15:31.440 --> 00:15:36.480 apologizing. And we can do that because remember, forgiveness is not a feeling. We can do that 334 00:15:36.480 --> 00:15:40.800 through the power of Holy Spirit. So if you lean into this time of forgiveness for yourself and 335 00:15:40.800 --> 00:15:46.560 for others, I believe that all that heavy lifting is going to be done by Holy Spirit, not by you. 336 00:15:46.560 --> 00:15:50.400 And you're going to feel a freedom like you've never felt before, just like her. You're going 337 00:15:50.400 --> 00:15:54.160 to feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off of your shoulders. A lot of times 338 00:15:54.160 --> 00:15:59.120 when you do that template that I've provided you with at the end, when you ask Holy Spirit to show 339 00:15:59.120 --> 00:16:03.840 you the truth about that situation, you're going to get some revelations about what really happened 340 00:16:03.840 --> 00:16:08.800 in those situations. Not just the what have happened, but the why behind it. And that's 341 00:16:08.800 --> 00:16:12.800 just going to come to you in all different forms. Sometimes it comes in a dream. Sometimes it comes 342 00:16:12.800 --> 00:16:19.760 just in an aha moment. And all the time we receive peace to where we finally feel like we can move on. 343 00:16:20.400 --> 00:16:24.640 All right, so make sure that you do your homework. This is a really important 344 00:16:24.640 --> 00:16:27.920 homework assignment and I'm going to see you soon.