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All right, welcome.

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It is the top of the hour here in Eastern time zone.

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It's eight o'clock.

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If you've never met me before, my name is Bethany Cooper.

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Excuse me.

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I'm one of the heartwork coaches in our phase one group

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and I do all kinds of stuff in the community.

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So y'all will see me more than just here,

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but I'm so glad to be here with you tonight.

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For those of you, if you are brand new,

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so you've never been to one of our live heartwork sessions,

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we call them heart check-ins.

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If you can just put in the chat for me,

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if you're brand new, let me know.

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That's totally fine, Tiffany.

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If you guys are driving and you can't come on camera,

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that is totally understandable.

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And when we go into the breakout session time,

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be sure to let me know if you can

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or cannot go into breakouts,

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because I'll need to make sure we have someone else paired

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in that room with the other person.

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But yeah, just let me know if you guys are here

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for the first time.

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Let's see, you started probably,

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yeah, oh, that's totally fine, Tasha.

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I know what you're asking now.

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So I will say anyone that is in phase two,

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when you join us for heartwork sessions,

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just remember we don't want you bringing up scenarios

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with guys in the phase one,

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because that can be super confusing

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for the ladies in phase one.

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So if you have any heartwork questions

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that are connected to guys,

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if you post those in the phase two group,

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or you can even bring those up

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in your phase two live sessions,

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that's totally fine and we'll help you out

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with those there,

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because that is legit and it will happen.

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Not even because the guys are doing something wrong,

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but sometimes we just get triggered from old lies.

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So welcome to those of you that,

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whether you're in phase one, just brand new,

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or you've been here with us for a little bit,

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or if you're in phase two coming back

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for a little bit more heartwork,

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we love you, we're glad that you're here.

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Again, if you're joining us for the first time,

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so like this is your first heartwork session,

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I just wanna like shout out to those people

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that are brand new.

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Anyone brand new?

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I don't think we have anyone brand new so far.

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Oh, April.

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Okay, welcome.

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Welcome to April.

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And anyone else joining live or watching the replay,

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we're glad that you're a part of the community.

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And I just wanna say too,

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I'm really glad that you guys said yes to yourself.

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And even if you're in this group

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and you've been in here three weeks, five weeks,

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y'all, it's super important to celebrate

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the investment that you're making.

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So I wanna just even have you pause.

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I wasn't planning on doing this, but let's just go here.

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If you've got notes and you've got some paper and pen,

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I just want you to write a note to yourself for a second,

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one or two sentences, that's all I want you to do,

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and thank yourself,

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whatever that looks like for you tonight.

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Maybe it is thanking yourself for doing the hard work

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and loving yourself well.

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Maybe for you, it's not giving up on yourself.

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Maybe for you this week, it's forgiving yourself.

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Just lean into what the Holy Spirit is saying to you,

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but one or two sentences.

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And if you're watching this in replay,

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I wanna encourage you to,

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or you're driving and you can't write right now,

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to go back and do this later.

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You guys don't understand how important it is

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to take these moments and thank ourselves.

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And on the journey throughout the week,

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if you guys are having a really hard week,

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I can tell you from experience,

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one of the best things you can do is pause and worship

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and just sit in an attitude and heart posture of gratitude

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for all that God has done, all that he is doing.

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Thank your bodies for not giving up on you.

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I don't know about anybody else,

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but I battled a lot of autoimmune stuff,

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IBS from all the stress that I went through for years.

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And when I was in heart work,

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and even after heart work and just the mentorship program,

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God specifically spoke to me to start thanking my body

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for being strong for me.

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And so if that speaks to you,

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I wanna encourage you to start doing that.

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Some of you all, one of the best things you can do

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in this journey and beyond phase one

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is to really reconnect and love your body well

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and appreciate it.

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And especially those I have found

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significant health issues

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and have battled for a long time,

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there tends to be a lot of disconnect

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and the enemy will get you to actually not like your body

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and shame your body and all kinds of stuff.

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And so to flip that script and thank your body

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for being strong for you,

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there can be heart healing and things

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that come to the surface,

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just even pausing and thinking on that.

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So I wanna encourage you in that.

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I'm gonna go ahead and pray

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cause I feel myself starting to get into heart work already.

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I'm already going.

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So just thank you, Father.

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Thank you for your beautiful daughters.

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Thank you for who you've made them to be.

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Thank you that you led them

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through the journey that they've been on.

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all the way to here. God, that you've brought them here for such a time as this, for healing,

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for redemption, for restitution, for reconciliation. God, that you would teach them how to be one with

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you as you are one Jesus with the Father. Holy Spirit, we ask you to come and have your way

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tonight. While they might be words that I'm saying, God, let them be edifying to you. Let

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them lead your daughters into deeper healing. Holy Spirit, come and weave and resonate in the

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hearts and the minds and the bodies and the spirits and the souls of your daughters that

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are here live as well as those that will watch the replay. Bring those things up that are in

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darkness to the surface, to the light that need revealed for healing. We ask you for,

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Jesus, just thank you for your sacrifice, for shedding your blood, for allowing your

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body to be broken, for the forgiveness of our sins, for our healing, for our redemption.

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But also, just in Jesus' name, we lose the spirit of forgiveness. We lose the spirit of

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healing. We lose the spirit of peace. And just in Jesus' name, I'll lose the spirit of revelation

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and insight to come and just help us open our eyes to see what we haven't been able to see before,

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where there's been blind spots and filters. Help us to see, illuminate, Holy Spirit,

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what needs to be known in Jesus' name. So welcome again. I'm super excited tonight just to see where

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the Holy Spirit is going to lead. I can already just tell there's just something really sweet in

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the atmosphere. I don't know if you guys can feel it, but I just feel it. Just that even the way

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God led me to open, like, you beautiful daughters, you beautiful daughters, you. And some of you all

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just need to hear that's not just me saying something kind and fluffy. I really believe

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the Lord is speaking that over you tonight. So for whoever that's for, that is how he sees you,

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and that's where he wants you to rest into that truth tonight. One of the things I want to just

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bring up real quick during housekeeping, and I don't have a lot tonight, thankfully. Some of those,

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you know, same things. Stay the course, ladies. Keep, you know, keep on keeping on. Just keep

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doing the next best step. Don't give up. You know, some of you all in your greatest moments

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of resistance, some of you all weeks of resistance, if you don't give up and you

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keep going, you're like right on the precipice of that breakthrough. So I just want to encourage

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you in that, but here's where I was going to go. I wasn't planning on doing this in

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housekeeping, but I felt a nudge from the Lord to mention it. I don't remember who shared

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today, if it was a post or if it was in the weekly roll call. Maybe that's where it was at,

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but they were asking a question and they were sharing. They're in the forgiveness week and

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they're just struggling to move forward in that, but she also said, I'm also feeling

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some avoidant feelings. And I just want to let you guys know that that can be very common.

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When I went through the heart work, I was thinking back on this and that's why I wanted to bring it,

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bring it up. When I went through the heart work process, when I would have moments that would

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feel the hardest, like I remember when God brought my dad up again and I had done so much work

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regarding my dad over the years that I was just like, I really don't want to go here again.

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And it was something in particular that was connected to my dad that the Holy spirit was

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nudging me about. And I just, I just didn't want to, and it wasn't that I didn't want the healing.

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I just was like, I don't know. I don't know if I wasn't ready in that moment or what it was,

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but I remember the Lord just saying, Bethany, I want to help you move forward.

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Just take a look at this with me again. And it wasn't immediate you all, but when I did choose

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to look at that, that piece, if you will, of what God was showing me and I allowed myself,

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maybe pushed myself a little bit to get out of that comfort zone and turn towards the,

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the uncomfortableness I was feeling instead of away from it. Cause that's the thing when we feel

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that uncomfortable, that angst, if you will, because here we are again, or maybe we're here

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for the first time, maybe some of you guys are processing things that you've never processed

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before. Someone said today in a post for sure that there are things coming up that they, you know,

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have never told anyone. So wherever you find yourself in that kind of that spectrum, if you

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will, that line.

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of like healing. I want to encourage you don't turn away from those feelings, turn towards them,

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but know that God is the one that's going to enable you to face them. Like you're not,

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thank you, Lord. If you guys can imagine, like if you had a sister, like you're super,

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that the person that you're closest to, and some of you might say, I don't have a friend like that.

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And I want to encourage you to know that the Holy Spirit, I know, I know it's hard because

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he's not flesh, but he's your friend and he is closer than a brother to you. He will be there

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for you to comfort and counsel. But either way, if you can imagine, I have my thing, my screen

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blurs, so it's a little hard to see. Like if your friend just came up and linked arms with you,

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you know, you're going through something hard and you just, you need that friend that's shoulder to

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shoulder with you to walk towards that thing that is the most difficult for you. But if you have

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that friend, you can just link arms with, doesn't it just feel better knowing that you're walking

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towards that thing with someone that is walking shoulder to shoulder with you, because they've

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got your back and they're praying for you and they're walking with you. And what the Lord wants

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you to know tonight is that as you turn towards that thing that you've been trying to avoid,

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the Lord is linking arms with you. And as you move forward, his face and his eyes are on that thing.

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And he is directing his attention towards you and towards the healing and preparing the atmosphere

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while he walks beside you. Here's the cool thing you all, he has also gone before you and he's

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behind you and he's surrounding you with his presence. So no matter which direction you feel

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like attacks come from, the truth is, is that you are in him. You are in him. And so as you move

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forward, hope that that encourages you. You're not walking alone. You're not facing any of this alone.

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He will give you the courage you need. He'll give you the grace you need, the strength you need,

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and the endurance you need. Or maybe it's the hope you need. Whatever that need is tonight, ask him

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to fill that up and he will fill it. I want you to imagine just, and some of this y'all,

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I'm kind of just riffing with Holy Spirit right now. If you just imagine taking a cup

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and whatever it is you have need of, that's what's written on that cup.

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And just imagine right now from heaven, the Holy Spirit is just pouring,

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the Father's pouring, Jesus Christ, they're pouring into your cup what it is that you have need of.

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They're just filling it up. They're just filling it up.

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That is how close we can live and move and have our being in the Lord every day.

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All day long. Am I saying it's easy? No, because we all face trials and tribulation and hardships

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or things that distract us. We also experience joys and life and the busyness, but in one moment

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we can pause and receive and think on those things. All right. Jesus loves you, this I know,

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for the Bible tells me so. He tells me that he loves you and he tells me that he loves me,

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you all. So that's where we're going tonight. We're going to let that be what we're rooted in

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as we talk about a little bit about repentance and confession as well as forgiveness tonight.

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I really just want to encourage you all to open your hearts when you go into breakout, okay?

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Whatever it is that you came in with, you don't have to leave with tonight.

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You can literally experience transformation and healing and redemption like never before.

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And some of you guys are like, yep, I go to church every week. I've been there, experienced that,

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but I believe God has another portion for you tonight. All right. So I want to talk about this

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repentance for a minute. As you know, Jackie's taught about this, the book talks about it,

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the content talks about it. The Lord knows the why behind the what. So he knows why we've made

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the mistakes we've made. Okay. So let's just put that on the table. We've all made mistakes.

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Sometimes we're still making mistakes right now, but praise God, there's grace, there's forgiveness,

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there's healing. And the Lord knows why we're doing what we're doing. We don't always actually

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know why we're doing what we're doing. Even Paul in the Bible says, I don't know why I'm still

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doing basically what I don't mean to do. So there's people in the Bible that resonate with

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that. We're not alone. So what we can do is we can ask the Holy Spirit to reveal those things

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for healing. That's why we really encourage you guys all the time. It's about the Holy Spirit

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revealing things for healing. Someone asked, you know,

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When they started thinking about forgiveness,

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they started thinking of all of the things

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and all of the people, all of the mistakes.

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And they were like, where do I kind of essentially,

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I'm kind of paraphrasing, where do I begin?

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Do I have to go through every single one of those things?

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And I wanna encourage you guys,

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it's about asking the Holy Spirit,

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who do I need to forget?

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What do I need to confess?

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And letting him show you and reveal those things to you

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and stepping into that first.

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If he leads you to go through that whole room of people,

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if you will, fine.

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But this isn't about digging up everything of your past.

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Okay, so I wanna make sure everyone understands

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that part of the healing process in this group.

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It's not about digging up all the old skeletons

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and making sure they're all the way clean.

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Now, if the Lord reveals something to you

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that you thought was put to bed,

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kind of like I said about my dad,

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I had done the work, I thought I buried that thing,

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it was done, the Holy Spirit's like,

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he didn't pull him up all out of the grave, if you will.

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He just said, take a look at this part of what your dad did

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and what you're stuck on right now.

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So that might be the case for you.

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But even the confessions that we need to do, you all,

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it's really important.

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And I'll say this about the forgiveness stuff too,

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because someone, I was answering a lot of posts

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that were very good questions.

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You all have been so excited.

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Some of you guys are really leaning in,

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trying to understand and unpack what you're learning.

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The confessions need to be revealed.

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I would say to you that something that's really important

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as you pray about the confessions,

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pray about the method of confession, okay?

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So tonight we're gonna practice confessing one to another.

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When you guys are also working on other confessions,

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the Lord reveals to you,

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you might feel led to go and confess to somebody in person.

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If you feel led to confess to someone in person,

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I would encourage you to pray through that real thoroughly

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and ask the Lord how to do it and all that stuff.

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But go with the understanding that,

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like you don't have an expectation

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of how they should respond, okay?

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Because you've had,

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you've been having time to process, right?

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And heart work here, and they may not have had that.

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So sometimes it doesn't always go the way we want

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because they haven't had time to prepare their heart.

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That doesn't, I'm not saying that to scare you away

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from doing that, because if the Lord leads you to,

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there's a reason he's leading you to do that.

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We've had a lot of people experience tremendous healing

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from that if they felt led to.

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Now, some of you all may feel led to write your confession

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out on a piece of paper and burn it, okay?

287
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Tonight, again, we're gonna practice

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confessing one to another,

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but I'm just giving you guys examples of ways

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that you can kind of get this stuff up out of your spirit

291
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and your soul and release it and let it go.

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All right, so repentance, what is it?

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Is it asking, you know, and saying we're sorry?

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Yes, it is that.

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But it is also a change of mind and a change of heart

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that then changes the direction that we're going, okay?

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So, and the other thing that's important here, you guys,

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it's not just about you being on your best behavior

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and just trying to be perfect.

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This is about genuinely like allowing God

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to transform your heart and your mind

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and that your decision to change

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is out of a place of love and grace

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and understanding that as you choose

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to go a different direction,

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God has something greater for you

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out of his great love for you.

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If we get into behavior modification

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just to check off a box,

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that's where we get ourselves into trouble, okay?

311
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Because the heart change hasn't happened

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to support that behavior change long-term.

313
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Behavior change will happen out of heart change.

314
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Is everyone with me?

315
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Okay, I wanna make sure I'm not losing

316
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because I know I'm kind of teaching for a minute here.

317
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All right, so when we come out of agreement with those lies

318
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and with the pattern and the direction we were going in

319
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and we go in another direction, that's the repentance.

320
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Now in the confession piece, James 5.16 says,

321
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confess your faults one to another

322
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and pray for each other so that you might be healed.

323
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The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

324
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So tonight when I'm gonna put you in a breakout here

325
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in just a moment, I wanna encourage you guys,

326
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you don't need to share every little detail, okay?

327
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I'm not asking you to do that.

328
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We're going to be short, brief and powerful.

329
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But I do want you in the sense to confess the whole story.

330
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If you were the perpetrator, confess that you were the perpetrator.

331
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And what is, what do I mean by that?

332
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I mean, if you cheated on your spouse, admit that.

333
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If you struggle with pornography, admit that that's what God's leading you to do.

334
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If you, um, lie, if you, I don't know, I'm just kind of throwing some things out

335
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there, whatever it is, just confess it.

336
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I do think it's also important for those of you that have gone through

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any form of abuse as a child.

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You do not need to confess for the sin that was committed to you by an

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adult when you were under the age of 18.

340
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Okay.

341
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That's not your fault.

342
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You don't need to confess for that.

343
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If you abuse someone else, that might be something you need to confess.

344
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Okay.

345
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Do you see the difference between the two?

346
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All right.

347
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So on your side of the street, if you're the villain, say it, don't sugarcoat it.

348
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But again, you don't need to share all the gory details.

349
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The goal is not for you to receive shame, guilt, or condemnation.

350
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Those are from the enemy.

351
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Conviction is from the Holy spirit and from the Lord.

352
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So lean into whatever the Holy spirit is leading you to confess, trust.

353
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Here's the thing that this is a safe place that your sisters are going to love you.

354
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They're not going to judge you.

355
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They're not going to condemn you.

356
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I will tell you what typically happens on the day after, even the night of, or

357
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the night, like after a live session like this, where we do confession and

358
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repentance, and I'll tell you this I'm doing on the forefront so that we

359
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can get ahead of the enemy.

360
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The enemy will come and tell you.

361
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You should have never said that.

362
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You should have never shared that they're judging you.

363
00:21:50.220 --> 00:21:52.740
They think this, they try to whisper all these lies.

364
00:21:52.740 --> 00:21:57.460
So I'm just debunking all that right now, because it's not true, truly.

365
00:21:57.460 --> 00:22:01.620
If you guys lean into whatever the Lord is leading you to confess, I believe

366
00:22:01.620 --> 00:22:05.300
you're going to experience freedom and love and acceptance, and know that we're

367
00:22:05.300 --> 00:22:08.420
going to be praying for you while you're in the breakouts, all right.

368
00:22:09.260 --> 00:22:13.420
Fears that normally rise up, as I mentioned, our judgment, I can't do it.

369
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People will also, I can't, I can't confess.

370
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They'll think I'm, I'm the worst thing ever or whatever.

371
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Also, I hear a lot, my sins are too much, and that's also a lie from the enemy.

372
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When we don't confess, we remain tethered to whatever that thing is.

373
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And it binds us to that thing or that person.

374
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Okay.

375
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Sins we don't repent or confess can create blind spots,

376
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filters, and false identities.

377
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So we want to come out of those false identities.

378
00:22:42.460 --> 00:22:44.580
So we want to come out of those false identities.

379
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We want to come out of all of the things that are creating these blind spots for

380
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us and step further into freedom tonight.

381
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All right.

382
00:22:52.280 --> 00:22:53.460
So here we go.

383
00:22:53.540 --> 00:22:55.040
Um, that's totally fine.

384
00:22:55.040 --> 00:22:56.380
I had two people.

385
00:22:57.660 --> 00:22:58.180
Okay.

386
00:22:58.500 --> 00:22:59.900
Mickey, that's fine.

387
00:22:59.980 --> 00:23:00.980
Good point.

388
00:23:01.060 --> 00:23:06.380
If anyone has small children around, um, I would recommend having earbuds

389
00:23:06.380 --> 00:23:11.100
in as you listen to other ladies, just cause this is super private stuff.

390
00:23:11.440 --> 00:23:13.960
Um, probably not the best content for littles.

391
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And then also, if you have a child around, I would just say, put it in the

392
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chat when you go into the breakout room, because you can always type into the

393
00:23:22.840 --> 00:23:27.960
chat so you can at least do the confession part and just, you know, ladies, if you

394
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have someone in your breakout like that, just at least acknowledge them and just

395
00:23:31.760 --> 00:23:35.280
say, you know, I'm just going to use Mickey as an example, Mickey, so proud of,

396
00:23:35.320 --> 00:23:36.560
you know, you don't have to say proud.

397
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Thank you so much for sharing Mickey.

398
00:23:38.520 --> 00:23:40.760
And you guys can then just continue to share in the group.

399
00:23:41.200 --> 00:23:44.880
Um, but then you might weave after everybody's done confessions to just

400
00:23:44.880 --> 00:23:47.720
talking and getting to know each other, but make sure you do the confessions

401
00:23:47.720 --> 00:23:49.600
first, that's really important.

402
00:23:49.640 --> 00:23:50.140
Okay.

403
00:23:50.800 --> 00:23:51.080
All right.

404
00:23:51.080 --> 00:23:52.520
Let me get these rooms set up.

405
00:23:52.640 --> 00:23:56.040
I think I addressed everyone's concerns in the chat there.

406
00:24:01.260 --> 00:24:01.920
All right.

407
00:24:03.720 --> 00:24:04.980
We're going to do nine minutes.

408
00:24:05.320 --> 00:24:07.020
I should have three to four people.

409
00:24:07.020 --> 00:24:09.520
So that should give you a decent amount of time.

410
00:24:09.560 --> 00:24:10.960
Love each other really well.

411
00:24:11.200 --> 00:24:11.840
Here you go.

412
00:24:14.840 --> 00:24:15.720
Praying for you all.

413
00:24:15.720 --> 00:24:18.400
If you need to stay in the main room, that's fine.

414
00:24:19.080 --> 00:24:23.320
I'll be watching all the rooms to make sure people get other people in there.

415
00:24:26.000 --> 00:24:27.680
Kelly stay with me.

416
00:24:41.100 --> 00:24:51.900
Oops, I just moved her.

417
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:01.600
or sorry you all.

418
00:25:07.560 --> 00:25:12.560
i'm just trying to make sure these ladies are all situated give me one more minute.

419
00:25:14.120 --> 00:25:17.200
I think everyone's got at least one person in their room with them.

420
00:25:21.200 --> 00:25:23.960
All right, we got one more here.

421
00:25:31.000 --> 00:25:37.000
All right, father, just thank you so much, we thank you for your amazing grace, and it is a sweet sound.

422
00:25:38.600 --> 00:25:45.440
And as the song say says that saved a wretch like us, thank you Lord God for just continuing to bring.

423
00:25:47.000 --> 00:25:52.200
Healing redemption grace, we thank you for conviction, but we thank you also for the lifeline.

424
00:25:52.200 --> 00:26:09.200
Father, I just see right now the picture of like a life life preserver being thrown to someone that's out in the water that had been drowning so Lord we just thank you that you're sending life preservers out that you are rescuing your daughters tonight.

425
00:26:10.200 --> 00:26:32.200
Even from areas where they have struggled and they've you know, been going around the same mountain and they haven't known why and and Lord things that have been down in their souls and their spirits that have some long been forgotten Lord we thank you that you're revealing these areas for healing that you're bringing to light areas that we need to confess that we need to repent God, we thank you for.

426
00:26:33.200 --> 00:26:43.200
Just giving us the courage tonight to step into that redemptive action of confession, where we thank you that you would.

427
00:26:44.200 --> 00:26:59.200
Or just go into their timeline and redeem their timeline from beginning to end Lord that you would just move in and throughout tonight and just allow your anointing your healing to flow, we thank you God that you would enable them to.

428
00:27:00.200 --> 00:27:17.200
Lord, thank you that you would enable them to see themselves the way that you see them give them a fresh perspective of the love of the father and that they are no longer orphans that they've never been an orphan but Lord we thank you that you would just just come and remove and bridge that gap.

429
00:27:18.200 --> 00:27:40.200
Or that you would close any any gap that had been a barrier that would cause them to feel like they can never connect with you fully we thank you that you are the repair of the breach and we thank you that you would take all those broken and fallen places and lift them up so that there can be healing and redemption and Lord we just thank you for.

430
00:27:41.200 --> 00:28:02.200
Coming in and just transforming and renewing our minds tonight in a new way, help us to hear the heart of heaven tonight help us to receive your understanding your revelation Lord, even in the midst of struggles that we endure here on this earth we thank you God that you are with us that you never leave us that you never forsake us.

431
00:28:03.200 --> 00:28:20.200
And that you've gone before us that you've made a way for us to step even into the healing and the freedom that you have prepared for us tonight, we thank you that you would just continue to help us to hear what your spirit is saying right now in this moment, even as we drive.

432
00:28:21.200 --> 00:28:49.200
I see, I see Ruth driving and it just kind of made me think how many times I've been driving in the past. And in, in moments of frustration my own life I had less patience for other people that would cut me off and then one day I accidentally cut someone else off and I just remember the Holy Spirit saying to me see how he see how easy it is for sometimes you don't notice someone is there, and how I felt so bad.

433
00:28:49.200 --> 00:28:54.200
And so the Lord's taught me a lot now some people just cut us off right.

434
00:28:54.200 --> 00:29:16.200
But I don't think it's always intentional. And I do believe that God wants us to have grace for people in our hearts that which we want to receive God let us be those people that would extend that to, to someone else we thank you Lord that you say in your word and someone verse three that we will be standing

435
00:29:16.200 --> 00:29:35.200
like a flourishing tree, I think I read this one last week but it came up in my spirit again by God's design deeply rooted by the Brooks of bliss bearing fruit in every season of our lives that we will never dry, they will never faint, that will be ever blessed and ever prosperous.

436
00:29:36.200 --> 00:29:45.200
And interestingly enough, I never do this but something just keeps coming up in my spirit when I like look to make sure when I saw Ruth driving I wanted to make sure I said the right name.

437
00:29:45.200 --> 00:30:00.200
And when I did that her little Canada flag is right there and the leaf just keeps coming to mind and here I am reading the scripture about a flourishing tree that basically never withers it never, it never faints it never withers.

438
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.520
But the seasons do change at times, right?

439
00:30:03.520 --> 00:30:07.240
So sometimes the trees lose their leaves and seasons change,

440
00:30:07.240 --> 00:30:10.680
but this is for Ruth, but it's also for everyone else.

441
00:30:10.680 --> 00:30:14.800
The reminder that God is doing a new thing.

442
00:30:14.800 --> 00:30:17.000
Can you not perceive it?

443
00:30:17.000 --> 00:30:20.480
He's bringing rivers, and I might be saying this backwards,

444
00:30:20.480 --> 00:30:22.460
but in the wasteland and streams

445
00:30:22.460 --> 00:30:25.520
where there's been a desert dryness.

446
00:30:25.520 --> 00:30:27.560
And so Lord, we just pray right now

447
00:30:27.560 --> 00:30:31.400
over anybody that's experienced any level of dryness,

448
00:30:31.400 --> 00:30:34.600
if you will, in their relationship with you, Father,

449
00:30:34.600 --> 00:30:36.440
Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit,

450
00:30:36.440 --> 00:30:38.620
maybe even in their relationships with other people

451
00:30:38.620 --> 00:30:41.680
where they've felt unnoticed or forgotten,

452
00:30:42.640 --> 00:30:45.920
or at times just like they don't matter to other people

453
00:30:45.920 --> 00:30:49.960
as much as they invest and pour into those around them.

454
00:30:49.960 --> 00:30:52.160
Lord, we just thank you that you would just

455
00:30:53.520 --> 00:30:56.040
continue to speak to them about their identity

456
00:30:56.080 --> 00:30:59.040
and who they are and the blessing that they are.

457
00:30:59.040 --> 00:31:02.800
God, we thank you that where at times they felt

458
00:31:02.800 --> 00:31:06.560
like there's a little drip, drip, drip of your Holy Spirit,

459
00:31:06.560 --> 00:31:11.560
we thank you for a deluge, a deluge of your Holy Spirit.

460
00:31:12.120 --> 00:31:14.560
Y'all, if you've never looked up the word deluge,

461
00:31:14.560 --> 00:31:17.560
look it up, D-E-L-U-G-E.

462
00:31:17.560 --> 00:31:20.320
Years ago, I went on a young adult retreat

463
00:31:20.320 --> 00:31:22.240
and it was called Deluge.

464
00:31:22.240 --> 00:31:26.680
And it was all about just really the,

465
00:31:26.680 --> 00:31:28.120
kind of like a tsunami wave.

466
00:31:28.120 --> 00:31:31.560
And I know that scares a lot of people, that word tsunami,

467
00:31:31.560 --> 00:31:36.560
but just an in flood of the Holy Spirit,

468
00:31:36.560 --> 00:31:39.520
his transformation in our life, just being so full.

469
00:31:39.520 --> 00:31:43.080
And how interesting that I did the cup thing earlier

470
00:31:43.080 --> 00:31:45.600
and I had no plan on using the word deluge

471
00:31:45.600 --> 00:31:47.040
or talking about that,

472
00:31:47.040 --> 00:31:49.160
but it's just hear the Holy Spirit saying

473
00:31:49.160 --> 00:31:52.280
he wants to do a new thing in your relationship

474
00:31:52.280 --> 00:31:55.080
with the Father, with Jesus Christ and with him.

475
00:31:55.080 --> 00:31:57.880
He wants to become more and more and more real.

476
00:31:57.880 --> 00:32:00.880
They, the Trinity, three in one,

477
00:32:00.880 --> 00:32:05.120
wanna become more real to all of you every day.

478
00:32:05.120 --> 00:32:06.720
We thank you, Lord, that tonight,

479
00:32:06.720 --> 00:32:09.840
as we're talking about confession and repentance,

480
00:32:09.840 --> 00:32:12.880
Lord, that you're continuing to come in

481
00:32:12.880 --> 00:32:15.480
and help the ladies to give thanks

482
00:32:15.480 --> 00:32:17.200
for every area of their lives,

483
00:32:17.200 --> 00:32:19.600
even the areas that they're learning tonight,

484
00:32:19.600 --> 00:32:22.680
just as that reminder that we don't know what we don't know

485
00:32:22.680 --> 00:32:24.040
because we don't know it.

486
00:32:24.040 --> 00:32:26.880
So Lord, help us to extend grace to ourselves,

487
00:32:28.680 --> 00:32:33.680
help us to see the areas where we can make changes today

488
00:32:34.360 --> 00:32:37.000
and then tomorrow we can make a change tomorrow

489
00:32:37.000 --> 00:32:40.920
that will lead us further into your big, bold,

490
00:32:40.920 --> 00:32:42.480
beautiful plan for our lives,

491
00:32:42.480 --> 00:32:45.000
the fullness of who you originally created us to be,

492
00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:48.800
that we don't ever have to be in a place of settling

493
00:32:48.800 --> 00:32:49.960
for less than your best.

494
00:32:49.960 --> 00:32:51.720
So Lord, we just thank you for,

495
00:32:54.240 --> 00:32:56.760
yeah, Lord, we just thank you for revival fire

496
00:32:56.760 --> 00:32:58.560
in our hearts, you all.

497
00:32:58.560 --> 00:33:00.920
Revival starts with us.

498
00:33:00.920 --> 00:33:02.920
Forever, the church, the body of Christ

499
00:33:02.920 --> 00:33:05.560
has talked about revival, revival in the land.

500
00:33:05.560 --> 00:33:06.880
Well, revival starts with us

501
00:33:06.880 --> 00:33:09.320
and it starts in our hearts as we heal.

502
00:33:09.320 --> 00:33:11.240
And as God comes in and he touches

503
00:33:11.240 --> 00:33:14.320
and he awakens these areas and he stirs them up,

504
00:33:14.360 --> 00:33:16.560
the Bible also talks about,

505
00:33:16.560 --> 00:33:17.800
and again, I didn't mean on saying this,

506
00:33:17.800 --> 00:33:19.080
but it's just coming up in my spirit.

507
00:33:19.080 --> 00:33:20.440
So I'm gonna go with it.

508
00:33:20.440 --> 00:33:23.720
Talks about stirring up the gifts of God within us.

509
00:33:23.720 --> 00:33:25.420
We play a role in that, you all.

510
00:33:25.420 --> 00:33:30.420
So we can pray into and ask God to stir up the gifts of God

511
00:33:31.800 --> 00:33:34.180
that have already been planted inside of us,

512
00:33:34.180 --> 00:33:36.240
but we also are participants

513
00:33:36.240 --> 00:33:40.360
and need to take action to cultivate those things.

514
00:33:40.360 --> 00:33:44.280
So sometimes cultivating the gifts of God in our lives

515
00:33:45.120 --> 00:33:47.000
is doing a class to learn about something.

516
00:33:47.000 --> 00:33:52.000
So if you want or feel led to grow in your ability to pray,

517
00:33:53.140 --> 00:33:56.040
take a class or study scriptures on prayer.

518
00:33:56.040 --> 00:34:00.680
So maybe your thing is hospitality,

519
00:34:00.680 --> 00:34:03.160
you feel gifted to serve,

520
00:34:03.160 --> 00:34:07.460
maybe joining the welcome committee, not committee,

521
00:34:07.460 --> 00:34:11.739
but I can't think of what it's called, team at your church.

522
00:34:11.739 --> 00:34:14.239
So stirring up the gifts of God within

523
00:34:14.239 --> 00:34:16.780
and seeing what God will do through it.

524
00:34:16.780 --> 00:34:18.780
Welcome back, everyone.

525
00:34:18.780 --> 00:34:20.260
I'm over talking about something

526
00:34:20.260 --> 00:34:21.719
I never planned on talking about,

527
00:34:21.719 --> 00:34:24.620
but it came up in my spirit, so there it was.

528
00:34:24.620 --> 00:34:26.940
So glad to have you guys back.

529
00:34:26.940 --> 00:34:28.800
It's always a ride, right?

530
00:34:28.800 --> 00:34:30.300
I'll always take you guys somewhere.

531
00:34:30.300 --> 00:34:31.980
Hopefully you enjoy it.

532
00:34:31.980 --> 00:34:34.420
All right, so who wants to share

533
00:34:34.420 --> 00:34:39.420
from your private breakout room what you, I'm sorry.

534
00:34:39.900 --> 00:34:42.300
Who wants to share with the whole group

535
00:34:42.300 --> 00:34:44.739
what you shared in your private breakout room?

536
00:34:44.739 --> 00:34:46.020
That's what I was trying.

537
00:34:46.020 --> 00:34:47.820
I don't know what I'm saying right now.

538
00:34:47.820 --> 00:34:49.219
I think you guys know what I mean.

539
00:34:49.219 --> 00:34:51.060
All right, Brittany, go ahead.

540
00:34:51.060 --> 00:34:52.340
Help me out here.

541
00:34:52.340 --> 00:34:54.980
Yeah, yeah, I can help you out there.

542
00:34:54.980 --> 00:34:59.020
So in breakout room, we talked about a couple of things,

543
00:34:59.020 --> 00:35:04.020
but I'm going to share a little bit of what I've learned.

544
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.920
the common thing was just like forgiving like family and

545
00:35:05.840 --> 00:35:07.280
Just even

546
00:35:07.280 --> 00:35:11.240
children and family as well, so I know I share that

547
00:35:11.800 --> 00:35:14.560
The Lord has placed in my heart to forgive my family

548
00:35:15.200 --> 00:35:22.120
just because like I come from a family who's tried the best they can with raising each and every person and

549
00:35:22.600 --> 00:35:29.320
and my childhood my family's codependent and I'm growing up and that system was a little bit hard because

550
00:35:30.520 --> 00:35:35.920
Going into my adulthood. I've had to take care of everyone else along with myself and

551
00:35:36.560 --> 00:35:40.400
Being in ministry, and I know some decisions that I made was of my own choice

552
00:35:41.320 --> 00:35:46.860
which I don't blame them for that, but I'm the Lord has brought up more that I should forgive my family because

553
00:35:47.800 --> 00:35:51.320
That's just how they're operating and for me

554
00:35:51.320 --> 00:35:58.180
I'm not operating in that way anymore since God has continuously worked on me for that for about four years now and

555
00:35:58.660 --> 00:36:04.300
Just doing that and forgiving my family not only just for that and my dad but just for

556
00:36:05.420 --> 00:36:11.340
The emotional unavailability that they have so my family appears to be healthy on the outside

557
00:36:11.340 --> 00:36:16.700
But when you start having conversations with them, and if you try to it's always

558
00:36:17.260 --> 00:36:23.140
Surface level anytime you try to go deep. It's like a red zone and they're like nope

559
00:36:23.660 --> 00:36:26.060
I am going to be on my phone

560
00:36:26.700 --> 00:36:28.700
Watch my TV

561
00:36:29.060 --> 00:36:34.900
And I think I may only have maybe two family members. I can actually have deep conversations with so

562
00:36:35.460 --> 00:36:37.460
it's taken some effort, but

563
00:36:38.260 --> 00:36:44.300
Other than that, I'm not trying to change them. But yeah, just letting my couple family members know like hey, I'm here

564
00:36:44.940 --> 00:36:48.060
Just having conversations and having a safe space. Oh, yeah

565
00:36:48.660 --> 00:36:54.420
So good. So stay there. Don't don't leave me up. So what is the confession part for you?

566
00:36:54.860 --> 00:37:00.060
Like what is yeah, go ahead. Oh, yeah, so, um, I would say like

567
00:37:00.060 --> 00:37:04.940
I when I was talking to Laura the other day too, I would say like I like I really forgive my family for just

568
00:37:05.980 --> 00:37:10.540
the emotional availability that they don't have for me just because like I was

569
00:37:11.460 --> 00:37:13.460
treated differently

570
00:37:13.580 --> 00:37:19.980
So that happened of course a lot of years and that really hurt quite a bit

571
00:37:20.140 --> 00:37:25.980
So, okay, I'm gonna help divide this a little bit kind of just to give you some clarity to so I'm so proud of you

572
00:37:25.980 --> 00:37:31.180
first and foremost for sharing because we're gonna we're gonna unpack the what you just shared here in just a moment, but

573
00:37:31.860 --> 00:37:39.100
Confession is is our part. Okay, so that would be more like is there any area?

574
00:37:39.980 --> 00:37:42.460
That you feel God is showing something

575
00:37:43.100 --> 00:37:47.900
Showing you something that you need to confess like where you played a role in something

576
00:37:47.980 --> 00:37:49.980
That brought an unhealthy

577
00:37:51.260 --> 00:37:53.820
You know dynamic or situation

578
00:37:54.460 --> 00:37:58.540
Yeah, I'd say I've been in in that whole situation

579
00:37:58.620 --> 00:38:02.700
I've still been like an enabler in a sense because I would always like try to

580
00:38:03.660 --> 00:38:08.700
Help someone in my family like my grandmother who I'm still like a caretaker for

581
00:38:09.260 --> 00:38:12.700
so there was always like some type of rescuing and

582
00:38:12.700 --> 00:38:14.700
Those types of situations

583
00:38:15.740 --> 00:38:21.580
I would do that to kind of like fix them at times because I was still trying to get my own needs met and

584
00:38:22.460 --> 00:38:27.340
The Lord really showed me that like there was a communication issue with me, too

585
00:38:28.220 --> 00:38:31.260
And so since then I've been really working on that

586
00:38:31.660 --> 00:38:35.340
But yeah, a lot of it was just in order to get my own needs met

587
00:38:35.900 --> 00:38:39.180
I would have to like create a situation in order for it to

588
00:38:39.180 --> 00:38:41.500
Doable so that way I can still continue to

589
00:38:42.220 --> 00:38:49.580
Manage my own life and things seem to be like more performance and perfecting the situation in order for it for myself to be

590
00:38:50.140 --> 00:38:51.180
Okay

591
00:38:51.180 --> 00:38:57.260
Yes. Okay, so good. Okay, you shared some something super important when you were sharing that confession you said

592
00:38:58.060 --> 00:39:00.060
I tried to fix them

593
00:39:00.620 --> 00:39:02.620
To get my own needs met

594
00:39:02.780 --> 00:39:04.380
and so

595
00:39:04.380 --> 00:39:12.300
You know where when we're in in relationship with people and it is hard I do this too I do this sometimes more with my spiritual daughters

596
00:39:13.020 --> 00:39:14.540
because

597
00:39:14.540 --> 00:39:16.540
They're younger. So it still feels like

598
00:39:17.340 --> 00:39:20.940
Sometimes I need a parent when they're not asking for that, right?

599
00:39:21.660 --> 00:39:27.100
And my dynamics are a little different too because they're my spiritual daughters not biological all that kind of stuff

600
00:39:27.100 --> 00:39:29.100
But i'm using that as an example

601
00:39:29.100 --> 00:39:35.340
It is actually like me crossing a boundary if they're not asking for my input

602
00:39:36.140 --> 00:39:37.660
Yeah, okay

603
00:39:37.660 --> 00:39:39.100
and so

604
00:39:39.100 --> 00:39:44.620
It can create an unhealthy dynamic and codependency and i'm not, you know, like

605
00:39:45.500 --> 00:39:50.540
Allowing them to grow and make mistakes and be who they are, you know in some sense

606
00:39:51.180 --> 00:39:53.180
And so I'm using that as an example

607
00:39:53.180 --> 00:39:59.660
Allowing them to grow and make mistakes and be who they are, you know in some sense and so

608
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.800
Some of that I was doing out of trying to protect them

609
00:40:02.800 --> 00:40:04.160
from getting hurt.

610
00:40:04.160 --> 00:40:07.440
But the reality is, is again, they have to make choices

611
00:40:07.440 --> 00:40:09.920
and they have to grow and they have to learn.

612
00:40:09.920 --> 00:40:13.160
And so even adults, even our parents

613
00:40:13.160 --> 00:40:17.560
and people that are unhealthy, you all, we get really,

614
00:40:17.560 --> 00:40:20.240
I'm not saying you, Brittany, do or were,

615
00:40:20.240 --> 00:40:23.920
but for myself, I would get really mad at people

616
00:40:23.920 --> 00:40:27.520
when they would cross my boundaries or resent them for it.

617
00:40:27.520 --> 00:40:32.160
But the reality is, is if I allow them to,

618
00:40:33.160 --> 00:40:37.200
and I'm not setting the healthy boundary that I need to set,

619
00:40:37.200 --> 00:40:40.360
really, I'm the one that needs to shift and change.

620
00:40:40.360 --> 00:40:41.640
Now, do they also?

621
00:40:41.640 --> 00:40:43.120
Probably.

622
00:40:43.120 --> 00:40:46.540
But I can only change who?

623
00:40:48.120 --> 00:40:50.840
This girl right here.

624
00:40:50.840 --> 00:40:54.400
I'm the only one that I can change myself and that is it.

625
00:40:54.400 --> 00:40:55.680
And so you all just,

626
00:40:55.680 --> 00:40:57.720
I wanted to kind of pull this out a little bit

627
00:40:57.720 --> 00:41:02.400
because so many of us find ourselves in these scenarios.

628
00:41:02.400 --> 00:41:05.520
Even with men, we try to fix them and we're like,

629
00:41:05.520 --> 00:41:08.480
well, you know, he showed me this little glimmer

630
00:41:08.480 --> 00:41:13.480
of maybe this little tiny bit of, he's a nice guy,

631
00:41:13.840 --> 00:41:18.040
but then there's this big glaring, no, no, he's not.

632
00:41:18.040 --> 00:41:19.880
He's not healthy.

633
00:41:19.880 --> 00:41:22.720
But we convince ourselves in this little glimmer

634
00:41:23.720 --> 00:41:27.840
that he's great or in these situations.

635
00:41:27.840 --> 00:41:30.560
So great job, great share.

636
00:41:30.560 --> 00:41:32.400
I don't want to forget.

637
00:41:32.400 --> 00:41:35.880
So as you kind of like lean into, you know,

638
00:41:35.880 --> 00:41:39.400
really owning and asking the Holy Spirit,

639
00:41:39.400 --> 00:41:42.000
like, where do I need to set healthy boundaries

640
00:41:42.000 --> 00:41:43.560
in the days ahead?

641
00:41:43.560 --> 00:41:45.560
And he'll show you, he'll show you.

642
00:41:45.560 --> 00:41:48.280
Now, everyone keep in mind,

643
00:41:48.280 --> 00:41:49.800
when you set healthy boundaries,

644
00:41:49.800 --> 00:41:51.200
that doesn't automatically mean

645
00:41:51.240 --> 00:41:53.520
that people are going to be happy about it.

646
00:41:53.520 --> 00:41:56.120
They actually, some of them might get angry,

647
00:41:56.120 --> 00:41:58.760
but that doesn't mean you're not supposed to

648
00:41:58.760 --> 00:42:00.200
set that healthy boundary.

649
00:42:00.200 --> 00:42:01.720
Every time, you know,

650
00:42:01.720 --> 00:42:03.200
we don't want to do things out of spite.

651
00:42:03.200 --> 00:42:04.280
And I don't think, you know, Brittany,

652
00:42:04.280 --> 00:42:05.120
that's what you're doing.

653
00:42:05.120 --> 00:42:08.480
But as the Lord shows us what to do, you know,

654
00:42:08.480 --> 00:42:10.400
what happens when we create boundaries

655
00:42:10.400 --> 00:42:13.280
is it brings other people to crossroads

656
00:42:13.280 --> 00:42:15.400
and now they have a choice to make.

657
00:42:15.400 --> 00:42:16.800
Are they going to make the choice

658
00:42:16.800 --> 00:42:18.480
that they need to make to become healthier?

659
00:42:18.480 --> 00:42:20.640
Or are they going to choose to go the other direction?

660
00:42:20.640 --> 00:42:21.880
And that's up to them.

661
00:42:23.080 --> 00:42:24.320
Yeah, that's up to them.

662
00:42:24.320 --> 00:42:27.040
And sometimes y'all, it is super hard

663
00:42:27.040 --> 00:42:30.600
because we want everyone to be on the journey with us.

664
00:42:30.600 --> 00:42:31.440
We do.

665
00:42:32.920 --> 00:42:36.320
But not everybody is going to journey with you right now.

666
00:42:36.320 --> 00:42:37.400
That's been in your story,

667
00:42:37.400 --> 00:42:39.760
whether that's your family, your friends.

668
00:42:39.760 --> 00:42:42.240
You know, I just had something the last few days,

669
00:42:42.240 --> 00:42:44.120
like great friends with someone,

670
00:42:44.120 --> 00:42:46.560
but just, man, they just keep blowing me off.

671
00:42:46.560 --> 00:42:49.680
And then they're actually using God

672
00:42:49.680 --> 00:42:52.320
as their reason that they're blowing me off.

673
00:42:52.320 --> 00:42:56.680
And I'm like, no, no, that's not okay anymore.

674
00:42:56.680 --> 00:42:58.200
And now obviously you guys,

675
00:42:58.200 --> 00:43:00.640
I believe in the Holy Spirit leading people,

676
00:43:00.640 --> 00:43:02.880
but I also believe when you give your word to someone

677
00:43:02.880 --> 00:43:04.880
that that matters too.

678
00:43:04.880 --> 00:43:07.400
And so I think that it's really important for us

679
00:43:07.400 --> 00:43:10.960
to not use God as an excuse all the time.

680
00:43:10.960 --> 00:43:14.280
I am led by the Holy Spirit all the time,

681
00:43:14.280 --> 00:43:17.800
but if I tell my friend I'm going to show up for them,

682
00:43:18.720 --> 00:43:20.320
sometimes I have to cancel,

683
00:43:20.320 --> 00:43:22.680
but if it's a constant thing,

684
00:43:22.680 --> 00:43:26.240
there's something not right there, okay?

685
00:43:26.240 --> 00:43:28.160
And I don't have to be okay with it,

686
00:43:28.160 --> 00:43:30.040
and you all don't either.

687
00:43:30.040 --> 00:43:33.240
We all want to be in healthy relationships

688
00:43:33.240 --> 00:43:35.960
with our friends and other people as well.

689
00:43:35.960 --> 00:43:37.640
Okay, so the last thing I was going to say

690
00:43:37.640 --> 00:43:41.360
on when you were sharing two things,

691
00:43:41.360 --> 00:43:44.280
and the reason I want to mention this is because,

692
00:43:44.280 --> 00:43:46.080
and not to embarrass you, but this happens,

693
00:43:46.080 --> 00:43:48.040
and it's important for me to teach it.

694
00:43:48.040 --> 00:43:51.040
When you guys are sharing, I do this too sometimes,

695
00:43:51.040 --> 00:43:52.600
when I start talking about something

696
00:43:52.600 --> 00:43:54.040
that's really hard for me,

697
00:43:54.040 --> 00:43:57.360
sometimes I'll get like stuck in my throat

698
00:43:57.360 --> 00:44:00.120
or I'll get kind of that emotional kind of feel

699
00:44:00.120 --> 00:44:01.720
start to bubble up.

700
00:44:01.720 --> 00:44:04.360
And when that happens, that's a signal to me

701
00:44:04.360 --> 00:44:06.880
that you guys have, you know, that's tender,

702
00:44:06.880 --> 00:44:08.320
that's tender for you.

703
00:44:08.320 --> 00:44:11.240
And that happened when you were talking about,

704
00:44:13.800 --> 00:44:15.440
like when you were red zoned

705
00:44:15.480 --> 00:44:17.400
and they were emotionally unavailable.

706
00:44:17.400 --> 00:44:20.840
And then also when you said the phrase,

707
00:44:20.840 --> 00:44:22.680
I was treated differently.

708
00:44:23.680 --> 00:44:24.880
And so I want to encourage you

709
00:44:24.880 --> 00:44:26.320
to lean into that a little more,

710
00:44:26.320 --> 00:44:28.240
because I feel like God wants to heal

711
00:44:28.240 --> 00:44:30.600
that area a little more.

712
00:44:30.600 --> 00:44:31.720
And it doesn't mean you guys

713
00:44:31.720 --> 00:44:35.040
that we're not going to still have some level of tenderness,

714
00:44:35.040 --> 00:44:39.000
you know, but typically that to me is a signal of like,

715
00:44:39.000 --> 00:44:42.640
I'm just paraphrasing this as like a hot zone, if you will.

716
00:44:42.640 --> 00:44:47.640
So that means it's still pretty hurt inside.

717
00:44:48.000 --> 00:44:48.840
Okay.

718
00:44:48.840 --> 00:44:51.040
I'm really kind of just bringing this down real basic,

719
00:44:51.040 --> 00:44:53.920
but hopefully that was helpful for you.

720
00:44:53.920 --> 00:44:55.280
I see Nadine said,

721
00:44:55.280 --> 00:44:57.800
when you say lean in a little bit more, what do you mean?

722
00:44:57.800 --> 00:45:00.160
So what that means to me is like.

723
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.000
Like if God was sitting here with me

724
00:45:05.000 --> 00:45:09.400
and we were having a conversation, he's my dad.

725
00:45:09.400 --> 00:45:11.320
And some of you guys, I didn't have a dad like this,

726
00:45:11.320 --> 00:45:14.000
but I see other daughters with their dads

727
00:45:14.000 --> 00:45:16.300
that are super close and this is how it works.

728
00:45:18.000 --> 00:45:21.480
If they're having a conversation with their dad

729
00:45:21.480 --> 00:45:25.680
and they need comfort, they lean in, right?

730
00:45:25.680 --> 00:45:28.080
They lean in, they get a hug.

731
00:45:28.160 --> 00:45:30.600
Maybe they lean in and let dad hug them

732
00:45:30.600 --> 00:45:32.560
while dad's giving them advice.

733
00:45:32.560 --> 00:45:35.160
So when I say lean in, to me it's

734
00:45:36.360 --> 00:45:39.600
come a little closer to the Lord, okay?

735
00:45:39.600 --> 00:45:41.960
So lean into what he's revealing.

736
00:45:41.960 --> 00:45:44.000
So the Lord's showing you,

737
00:45:44.000 --> 00:45:46.120
like in this case, I was talking to Brittany,

738
00:45:46.120 --> 00:45:48.800
the Lord's showing her these areas that

739
00:45:48.800 --> 00:45:51.600
she's wanting to set boundaries and needs to

740
00:45:51.600 --> 00:45:53.920
in this pain that she was talking about.

741
00:45:53.920 --> 00:45:56.760
So I would then lean in a little bit more.

742
00:45:56.760 --> 00:45:58.880
I would go to the Lord and say,

743
00:45:58.880 --> 00:46:03.080
Lord, if this is me, I'm pretending I'm Brittany.

744
00:46:03.080 --> 00:46:05.480
Lord, last night when I was sharing,

745
00:46:05.480 --> 00:46:07.540
these were the things that were still

746
00:46:07.540 --> 00:46:10.040
really causing tenderness and I feel vulnerable

747
00:46:10.040 --> 00:46:12.940
in these areas or whatever her verbiage might be.

748
00:46:12.940 --> 00:46:15.780
Lord, can you show me if there's anything else

749
00:46:15.780 --> 00:46:18.680
that needs revealed for healing in this area?

750
00:46:18.680 --> 00:46:20.460
So when I say leaning in, ladies,

751
00:46:20.460 --> 00:46:22.320
even when I say that to you guys in text,

752
00:46:22.320 --> 00:46:23.400
that's what I mean.

753
00:46:23.400 --> 00:46:26.340
Just ask another really great question

754
00:46:26.860 --> 00:46:29.320
and see what God wants to uncover there.

755
00:46:32.620 --> 00:46:35.020
Yeah, okay.

756
00:46:35.020 --> 00:46:35.860
I think,

757
00:46:39.940 --> 00:46:41.140
Lorraine, I'm not sure what you mean

758
00:46:41.140 --> 00:46:42.260
on peacekeeper or peacemaker.

759
00:46:42.260 --> 00:46:44.380
So if you put that in the chat, I'll circle back to that.

760
00:46:44.380 --> 00:46:46.020
Okay, Jessica, go ahead.

761
00:46:49.500 --> 00:46:53.060
In my group, I was talking about being passive

762
00:46:53.100 --> 00:46:56.820
and I put off things like reading my Bible

763
00:46:56.820 --> 00:46:59.820
and the Lord's been convicting me of that

764
00:46:59.820 --> 00:47:04.140
and going, I didn't share it in the group completely,

765
00:47:04.140 --> 00:47:07.620
but just being in the habit of prayer.

766
00:47:07.620 --> 00:47:11.740
You're gonna meet a guy, so I need you to come close,

767
00:47:11.740 --> 00:47:16.740
draw close, and just developing healthy habits

768
00:47:18.260 --> 00:47:22.180
of taking care of things each day

769
00:47:22.340 --> 00:47:24.340
and just putting it off.

770
00:47:24.340 --> 00:47:25.980
That's so good.

771
00:47:25.980 --> 00:47:26.820
So good.

772
00:47:26.820 --> 00:47:27.660
Thank you for sharing that.

773
00:47:27.660 --> 00:47:30.700
And you all, yeah, I mean, think about it this way,

774
00:47:32.620 --> 00:47:34.380
whether you guys realize this or not,

775
00:47:34.380 --> 00:47:38.340
when you get married, you have less time by yourself.

776
00:47:39.980 --> 00:47:40.980
You do.

777
00:47:40.980 --> 00:47:44.220
And so, man, soak up this time.

778
00:47:44.220 --> 00:47:46.220
I'm telling you, I'm not minimizing

779
00:47:46.220 --> 00:47:48.260
because I didn't want to be single anymore either.

780
00:47:48.260 --> 00:47:50.100
And I didn't like when people would be like,

781
00:47:50.100 --> 00:47:52.500
just use this time to be with the Lord.

782
00:47:52.500 --> 00:47:54.540
So that's not what I'm necessarily saying.

783
00:47:54.540 --> 00:47:56.020
Obviously, I am saying that,

784
00:47:56.020 --> 00:47:58.340
but what I'm trying to tell you

785
00:47:58.340 --> 00:48:03.340
is that you will appreciate the time you're taking right now

786
00:48:04.780 --> 00:48:06.860
drawing as close to the Lord as you can

787
00:48:06.860 --> 00:48:09.500
in this healing process and on your journey.

788
00:48:09.500 --> 00:48:11.060
You will appreciate it very much.

789
00:48:11.060 --> 00:48:15.940
I'm so glad that I spent a lot of extra time with the Lord

790
00:48:15.940 --> 00:48:17.620
when I was going through my healing journey

791
00:48:17.620 --> 00:48:21.140
and I don't regret it one bit.

792
00:48:21.140 --> 00:48:21.980
I don't.

793
00:48:21.980 --> 00:48:25.220
Okay, so yes, lean in, ladies.

794
00:48:25.220 --> 00:48:27.060
So in that case, when I say lean in,

795
00:48:27.060 --> 00:48:30.660
I'm like, spend time with the Lord, make time with Him.

796
00:48:30.660 --> 00:48:33.140
Y'all, some of you guys, thank you, Lord.

797
00:48:33.140 --> 00:48:35.500
Some of y'all need to put on some music

798
00:48:37.060 --> 00:48:38.580
and slow dance with the Lord.

799
00:48:39.580 --> 00:48:41.260
And I know like, you're gonna be like,

800
00:48:41.260 --> 00:48:43.460
well, that's kind of weird.

801
00:48:43.460 --> 00:48:44.540
Well, just try it.

802
00:48:45.380 --> 00:48:46.420
Just try it.

803
00:48:46.420 --> 00:48:49.900
Some of you guys have never had a slow dance with a man

804
00:48:49.900 --> 00:48:51.060
where you felt safe.

805
00:48:52.900 --> 00:48:53.740
You haven't.

806
00:48:54.780 --> 00:48:57.620
And some of you didn't have a dad that did that with you.

807
00:48:59.620 --> 00:49:04.380
And God wants to teach you what it's like to be loved

808
00:49:05.540 --> 00:49:08.700
and romanced and adored.

809
00:49:08.700 --> 00:49:11.460
And He will start, and I can attest to this.

810
00:49:11.460 --> 00:49:13.660
This is why I'm telling you this.

811
00:49:13.660 --> 00:49:16.220
Sometimes my dancing with the Lord in my kitchen

812
00:49:16.980 --> 00:49:17.820
was fun and upbeat.

813
00:49:17.820 --> 00:49:19.860
And I just, you know, there's a song like,

814
00:49:19.860 --> 00:49:21.020
Dance Like Nobody's Watching.

815
00:49:21.020 --> 00:49:24.060
It's an old song, but that's kind of what I'm thinking of.

816
00:49:24.060 --> 00:49:27.060
But also there were times where I just felt led

817
00:49:27.060 --> 00:49:31.660
to put on a slow song and just let the Lord love me

818
00:49:33.380 --> 00:49:38.220
and just be open to receive what He was pouring in

819
00:49:38.220 --> 00:49:39.980
in those moments.

820
00:49:39.980 --> 00:49:44.700
So for whoever that's for, I encourage you to go for it.

821
00:49:44.740 --> 00:49:46.740
And, you know, if you need to close the window

822
00:49:46.740 --> 00:49:48.300
so people don't see you, do that.

823
00:49:48.300 --> 00:49:50.900
But just let yourself be free.

824
00:49:50.900 --> 00:49:52.180
Y'all, that's how I started.

825
00:49:52.180 --> 00:49:55.380
And then before long, I didn't care who was looking.

826
00:49:55.380 --> 00:49:56.380
I didn't.

827
00:49:56.380 --> 00:49:57.420
Have fun with it.

828
00:49:58.300 --> 00:49:59.300
He will meet you there.

829
00:49:59.300 --> 00:50:00.140
Okay, Lucy.

830
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:00.840
Go ahead.

831
00:50:05.080 --> 00:50:06.120
Awesome.

832
00:50:07.440 --> 00:50:08.960
Okay.

833
00:50:08.960 --> 00:50:09.800
Hi, Bethany.

834
00:50:09.800 --> 00:50:10.640
Hi, everybody.

835
00:50:10.640 --> 00:50:11.480
Hello.

836
00:50:11.480 --> 00:50:12.520
So, hey.

837
00:50:14.320 --> 00:50:17.800
Yes, I felt to raise my hand tonight on this one.

838
00:50:17.800 --> 00:50:20.960
A girl in my group gave me some really great advice.

839
00:50:20.960 --> 00:50:22.720
I appreciate that.

840
00:50:22.720 --> 00:50:23.880
But yeah, I still feel to share it.

841
00:50:23.880 --> 00:50:28.880
So when I was in the relationship I was in all of last year,

842
00:50:29.520 --> 00:50:32.080
I was back and forth going, is this the right guy?

843
00:50:32.080 --> 00:50:33.440
Is this not the right guy?

844
00:50:33.440 --> 00:50:35.640
Are there things that are gonna jump out and be bad?

845
00:50:35.640 --> 00:50:39.120
And, you know, and there were things like from his past

846
00:50:39.120 --> 00:50:40.280
that were pretty intense

847
00:50:40.280 --> 00:50:42.840
and I didn't know if they were dealt with.

848
00:50:42.840 --> 00:50:43.840
But all of last year,

849
00:50:43.840 --> 00:50:46.120
I was the one second guessing and afraid

850
00:50:46.120 --> 00:50:47.520
and talking to all my friends,

851
00:50:47.520 --> 00:50:49.040
like, I don't know if we should stay together.

852
00:50:49.040 --> 00:50:50.440
I don't know if he's the one.

853
00:50:50.440 --> 00:50:51.680
I don't know, I feel all this fear.

854
00:50:51.680 --> 00:50:53.680
So he was feeling that all last year.

855
00:50:53.680 --> 00:50:56.080
And then he finally broke up with me twice.

856
00:50:56.080 --> 00:50:58.080
It was super dramatic and it was New Year's Eve

857
00:50:58.080 --> 00:51:01.440
and all the things, you know, break up, get back together.

858
00:51:01.440 --> 00:51:02.960
I miss you, break up again.

859
00:51:02.960 --> 00:51:04.760
But I didn't tell that to my friends.

860
00:51:04.760 --> 00:51:06.640
You know, they heard the story of all his breakups.

861
00:51:06.640 --> 00:51:08.800
But the reality was, is I was the one afraid

862
00:51:08.800 --> 00:51:10.880
the whole time we were dating mostly

863
00:51:12.840 --> 00:51:15.200
and didn't know that or didn't know what to do.

864
00:51:15.200 --> 00:51:17.320
Other thing is with my housemate right now,

865
00:51:17.320 --> 00:51:20.440
I feel fearful around like,

866
00:51:21.960 --> 00:51:23.720
I don't feel respected in our house

867
00:51:23.720 --> 00:51:26.000
and the way I'm treated often.

868
00:51:26.040 --> 00:51:29.640
But I also, I'm not sure what to bring up,

869
00:51:29.640 --> 00:51:32.720
what's in my head, is there something to stand on

870
00:51:32.720 --> 00:51:34.600
and feel afraid to bring it up

871
00:51:34.600 --> 00:51:36.920
because she's a quite forceful personality,

872
00:51:36.920 --> 00:51:39.960
like a former division one basketball player.

873
00:51:39.960 --> 00:51:43.960
And so I just want to confess that I'm holding that

874
00:51:43.960 --> 00:51:46.680
in my head and not bringing it up to her.

875
00:51:47.880 --> 00:51:51.680
And I'm second guessing if I should or could even.

876
00:51:51.680 --> 00:51:52.840
So this is where things are.

877
00:51:52.840 --> 00:51:56.040
So I think I'm in victim mode there, confessing that.

878
00:51:56.040 --> 00:51:59.520
And definitely with the last guy,

879
00:51:59.520 --> 00:52:00.720
I'm sure it wasn't fun for him.

880
00:52:00.720 --> 00:52:03.120
And I'm just confessing that I was that one.

881
00:52:05.920 --> 00:52:08.640
Thank you so much for sharing that.

882
00:52:08.640 --> 00:52:13.440
So you all, when you are going through scenarios like this,

883
00:52:13.440 --> 00:52:16.280
I appreciate what Lucy was sharing in the sense that,

884
00:52:18.280 --> 00:52:21.040
some relationships didn't work out

885
00:52:21.040 --> 00:52:24.640
because we were the ones, right?

886
00:52:24.640 --> 00:52:28.880
That whether that we withheld or we didn't engage

887
00:52:28.880 --> 00:52:30.040
or there was something we did.

888
00:52:30.040 --> 00:52:32.520
So allowing ourselves to surrender those things

889
00:52:32.520 --> 00:52:33.960
and confess them.

890
00:52:33.960 --> 00:52:36.400
And then on the feeling disrespected,

891
00:52:36.400 --> 00:52:39.480
I really felt led to kind of mention this.

892
00:52:40.320 --> 00:52:42.760
I would encourage you, Lucy,

893
00:52:42.760 --> 00:52:45.000
or anyone else that this is speaking to,

894
00:52:45.000 --> 00:52:46.320
to ask the Lord,

895
00:52:46.320 --> 00:52:49.280
what is the root of why you feel disrespected?

896
00:52:49.280 --> 00:52:52.120
And I would encourage you to write it out

897
00:52:52.120 --> 00:52:53.720
because sometimes you all,

898
00:52:53.720 --> 00:52:55.360
when we are gonna go talk to someone

899
00:52:55.360 --> 00:52:58.040
or we feel led to talk to someone and we're nervous,

900
00:52:58.040 --> 00:53:00.360
what can happen is we can go to talk

901
00:53:00.360 --> 00:53:02.000
and stuff can come out all wrong.

902
00:53:02.000 --> 00:53:03.760
So if you get your thoughts out

903
00:53:03.760 --> 00:53:06.040
and process what's happening,

904
00:53:06.040 --> 00:53:08.880
I think it'll also reveal a couple different things.

905
00:53:08.880 --> 00:53:12.640
It's gonna reveal, is this really about her?

906
00:53:12.640 --> 00:53:15.400
Because you were saying you're trying to discern,

907
00:53:15.400 --> 00:53:16.320
is this real?

908
00:53:16.320 --> 00:53:17.800
Is this not real?

909
00:53:17.840 --> 00:53:20.360
So as you're processing what you're writing,

910
00:53:20.360 --> 00:53:21.440
you'll be able to like,

911
00:53:21.440 --> 00:53:25.080
okay, Lord, is this just me being triggered?

912
00:53:25.080 --> 00:53:28.800
Or is there something that she is doing

913
00:53:28.800 --> 00:53:32.920
that I need to use my voice and say,

914
00:53:32.920 --> 00:53:37.920
hey, when you do this, I feel this way.

915
00:53:38.520 --> 00:53:41.120
I want you guys to practice that verbiage.

916
00:53:41.120 --> 00:53:42.440
Did everyone catch it?

917
00:53:44.080 --> 00:53:45.440
And again, this isn't blaming

918
00:53:45.440 --> 00:53:46.760
and pointing fingers at somebody.

919
00:53:46.760 --> 00:53:49.880
This isn't a nice, kind conversation.

920
00:53:49.880 --> 00:53:53.840
When this happens or when you do this,

921
00:53:53.840 --> 00:53:57.160
I feel this way.

922
00:53:58.560 --> 00:54:01.040
That is ownership verbiage.

923
00:54:01.040 --> 00:54:06.040
If you say things like, you made me feel blank.

924
00:54:06.920 --> 00:54:10.000
Well, there is no ownership of your own feelings

925
00:54:10.000 --> 00:54:10.960
in that statement.

926
00:54:12.000 --> 00:54:13.840
Y'all understand that?

927
00:54:13.880 --> 00:54:16.440
You are automatically becoming a victim.

928
00:54:18.080 --> 00:54:23.080
So we own our feelings and we process and communicate.

929
00:54:23.520 --> 00:54:24.800
And you can even say like,

930
00:54:24.800 --> 00:54:26.920
I've even said to my now husband,

931
00:54:26.920 --> 00:54:31.240
like I'm feeling triggered by this

932
00:54:31.240 --> 00:54:33.440
and I'll explain whatever it is.

933
00:54:33.440 --> 00:54:38.440
But while what you said caused the trigger,

934
00:54:38.440 --> 00:54:42.360
I know that it actually is connected to all this stuff

935
00:54:42.360 --> 00:54:44.280
that has nothing to do with you.

936
00:54:45.160 --> 00:54:48.080
And I try to communicate really well.

937
00:54:48.080 --> 00:54:51.040
And then that can then create that space

938
00:54:51.040 --> 00:54:53.520
for truth and healing and everything

939
00:54:53.520 --> 00:54:57.800
versus everybody putting walls up and shutting down.

940
00:54:57.800 --> 00:55:00.160
Does that make sense, everyone?

941
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:08.000
Okay. So just keep that in mind. Yeah. Just keep that in mind as you're processing. And

942
00:55:08.000 --> 00:55:14.360
I would even pray before you talk to her, not in the sense that she would change the

943
00:55:14.360 --> 00:55:19.760
way she is, but just pray for God to give her wisdom as well. As you guys come together

944
00:55:19.760 --> 00:55:25.040
to have a conversation and that you guys would both just have kindness in your hearts towards

945
00:55:25.040 --> 00:55:29.480
each other. As you communicate, it can really make a difference. You all, if we pray before

946
00:55:29.480 --> 00:55:36.240
we go into conversations. You're welcome. So good. Such a great question. All right.

947
00:55:36.240 --> 00:55:42.800
So I want to turn and shift us a little bit. Now I know a couple of you guys, um, mentioned

948
00:55:42.800 --> 00:55:47.120
about forgiveness. So that's kind of, we were going there tonight too, but I also, I did

949
00:55:47.120 --> 00:55:51.800
see Carrie, your, your comment in the chat there. I've been asking God to help me dance

950
00:55:51.800 --> 00:55:58.320
with men. I'm scared a lot to partner dance. Yeah. Yeah. And some of that you guys, as

951
00:55:58.480 --> 00:56:01.960
you know, when you are in which Carrie, I know you're in phase two, but when you get

952
00:56:01.960 --> 00:56:08.000
into phase two and we start encouraging you to get out and interacting with men in that

953
00:56:08.000 --> 00:56:14.120
capacity, that'll help you face some of that. But ways you guys can implement, implement

954
00:56:14.120 --> 00:56:17.920
that in phase one is not necessarily go out and find guys to dance with right now, because

955
00:56:17.920 --> 00:56:22.080
we're asking you to pause on the guys. But what we do want you to practice is looking

956
00:56:22.080 --> 00:56:28.760
guys in the eye, making eye contact, saying hello to a guy, letting a guy open the door

957
00:56:28.760 --> 00:56:33.520
for you. Not just being like, you know, if a guy offers to carry your groceries out to

958
00:56:33.520 --> 00:56:37.480
the car, y'all I've noticed some stores are doing that a little bit more again, where

959
00:56:37.480 --> 00:56:43.560
they're offering to carry the groceries out and don't just turn them away and be like,

960
00:56:43.560 --> 00:56:51.240
no, I got that. I got it. Yes. Why? Thank you so much. I would love that. How, how awesome

961
00:56:51.240 --> 00:56:58.080
is that to be cared for and let somebody help you. If you guys didn't know Jackie did

962
00:56:58.080 --> 00:57:02.760
the 1pm session today, catch that recording that replay. I was listening to it a little

963
00:57:02.760 --> 00:57:06.640
bit and it was really good. She was talking about kind of that, that aspect of leaning

964
00:57:06.640 --> 00:57:13.080
into the divine feminine and even repenting for ways that we have not walked in the divine

965
00:57:13.080 --> 00:57:16.080
feminine. So definitely want to make sure you guys know about that. I'm not going to

966
00:57:16.080 --> 00:57:20.500
go into that because she already covered it today. It's really, really good, but I do

967
00:57:20.500 --> 00:57:25.140
want to talk about two things real quick. As we start to turn towards the forgiveness

968
00:57:25.140 --> 00:57:32.540
aspect she's saying here in the book, the sin cycle is what produces shame, condemnation

969
00:57:32.540 --> 00:57:37.460
and guilt. True, true repentance will break the cycle and set us free from mindsets that

970
00:57:37.460 --> 00:57:42.140
are behind the patterns. Okay. So again, if you guys are struggling to figure out why

971
00:57:42.140 --> 00:57:46.060
you're going around the same mountain over and over and over again, here, this is, this

972
00:57:46.060 --> 00:57:50.940
has to do with that. A simple definition of repentance, again, is a change of mind,

973
00:57:50.940 --> 00:57:56.660
change of heart. Repentance also includes turning around, as I mentioned, and submitting

974
00:57:56.660 --> 00:58:02.620
to God's plan for your life. Repentance says, stop the car. I'm getting out. So we're not

975
00:58:02.620 --> 00:58:08.700
going in that same direction anymore. All right. I felt led to kind of recap that because

976
00:58:08.700 --> 00:58:14.100
I want to read this to you. The word of God says, for the Lord corrects those he loves

977
00:58:14.100 --> 00:58:19.340
just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights. If you have only known punishment

978
00:58:19.340 --> 00:58:26.380
or harsh discipline from authority figures like parents, bosses, pastors, or even oppressive

979
00:58:26.380 --> 00:58:31.460
spouses, then this is Jackie talking. Let me tell you what a course correction from

980
00:58:31.460 --> 00:58:39.060
father God via the Holy spirit looks and sounds like. It sounds a lot like this. Hey, baby

981
00:58:39.060 --> 00:58:44.860
girl, you're better than this. You don't have to live this way. This is not who I created

982
00:58:44.860 --> 00:58:51.940
you to be. Let me teach you something new. Sweetheart, you're taking the hard road. Take

983
00:58:51.940 --> 00:58:58.060
my hand and I will show you a better way. Daughter, you're headed for danger. Listen

984
00:58:58.060 --> 00:59:05.340
to me. Trust me. This road is a dead end. Stop the car and let me drive. I will get

985
00:59:05.340 --> 00:59:14.340
us to safety. Any voice of correction that comes your way that is harsh, demeaning, degrading,

986
00:59:14.340 --> 00:59:23.020
that causes fear or confusion or makes you want to run and hide is not God. You all,

987
00:59:23.020 --> 00:59:26.940
it is not God. That is not his voice. And some of the people will be like, well, God

988
00:59:26.940 --> 00:59:34.380
corrected people. Yes he did. But you guys, it never says in the Bible that his voice

989
00:59:34.380 --> 00:59:41.540
was harsh when he spoke to them, he might've been direct, but it did not say that he was

990
00:59:41.540 --> 00:59:46.980
harsh. God's correction will never diminish you, make you feel small or put you in the

991
00:59:46.980 --> 00:59:52.020
corner. So that movie, you know, dirty dancing where baby was put in the corner, y'all God

992
00:59:52.020 --> 00:59:57.980
doesn't put baby in the corner and doesn't put you there either. Some of you all, I just,

993
00:59:57.980 --> 00:59:59.620
it just came right up in my spirit.

994
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.620
Some of y'all have literally been put in the corner at school where you weren't allowed

995
01:00:04.620 --> 01:00:05.960
to look at the kids.

996
01:00:05.960 --> 01:00:11.680
Maybe even at home, you're put in the corner or some kind of harsh discipline.

997
01:00:11.680 --> 01:00:15.940
I don't know what that looks like, but somebody tonight needs to know that that is not the

998
01:00:15.940 --> 01:00:18.200
way of God, the father.

999
01:00:18.200 --> 01:00:19.200
Okay.

1000
01:00:19.200 --> 01:00:21.600
So he's totally different.

1001
01:00:21.600 --> 01:00:23.100
Okay.

1002
01:00:23.100 --> 01:00:24.100
Next piece I want to share.

1003
01:00:24.100 --> 01:00:28.420
And again, I'm turning towards forgiveness, but I feel like these are important.

1004
01:00:28.420 --> 01:00:32.940
This part of the book says, never let them see you sweat.

1005
01:00:32.940 --> 01:00:36.780
She's talking here about the old commercial, you know, and the tagline, don't let them

1006
01:00:36.780 --> 01:00:38.500
see you sweat.

1007
01:00:38.500 --> 01:00:43.860
But what I thought was really important to point out, if we're going to be, excuse me,

1008
01:00:43.860 --> 01:00:48.140
if we're going to going to get free and be our real selves, we have to throw out all

1009
01:00:48.140 --> 01:00:50.260
the cultural lies.

1010
01:00:50.260 --> 01:00:54.380
Being weak is okay.

1011
01:00:54.380 --> 01:01:00.760
It's okay to admit you don't have it all together and that you have made mistakes.

1012
01:01:00.760 --> 01:01:07.620
So I wanted you guys to know that again, tonight, that it is okay to make mistakes and God,

1013
01:01:07.620 --> 01:01:11.980
he knows the mistakes we make, but he's not up there making this big, long list of all

1014
01:01:11.980 --> 01:01:20.460
the things he can't wait to yell at you about how the Holy spirit on that a little bit,

1015
01:01:20.460 --> 01:01:21.460
you know?

1016
01:01:21.460 --> 01:01:22.460
Okay.

1017
01:01:22.460 --> 01:01:23.460
So here again, I just feel this.

1018
01:01:23.540 --> 01:01:24.540
I'm just going to go with it.

1019
01:01:24.540 --> 01:01:31.420
So some of you guys, and again, that our parents, you know, and I'm not making excuses for their

1020
01:01:31.420 --> 01:01:36.620
unhealthy behavior, but our parents did the best that they could do with the information

1021
01:01:36.620 --> 01:01:38.700
that they had at the time.

1022
01:01:38.700 --> 01:01:39.860
Okay.

1023
01:01:39.860 --> 01:01:45.060
But some of you all had parents that waited up and would scold you as soon as you got

1024
01:01:45.060 --> 01:01:50.020
home, even if you didn't even do anything wrong because they had a horrible day.

1025
01:01:50.020 --> 01:01:54.060
And there was a lot of abusive, harsh words spoken to you.

1026
01:01:54.060 --> 01:02:00.540
And God wants you to know tonight that that was not his heart for you.

1027
01:02:00.540 --> 01:02:01.580
That was not his heart for you.

1028
01:02:01.580 --> 01:02:04.420
That was not his path for you.

1029
01:02:04.420 --> 01:02:08.820
And it broke his heart when it happened to you.

1030
01:02:08.820 --> 01:02:13.820
So on that note, we're going to turn towards forgiveness.

1031
01:02:13.820 --> 01:02:15.700
Forgiveness is a lot of different things.

1032
01:02:15.700 --> 01:02:21.700
You guys, it's, you know, God's wanting to weave together all kinds of stuff.

1033
01:02:21.700 --> 01:02:26.220
Romans 8, 28 says, so we are convinced that every detail of our lives is continually woven

1034
01:02:26.220 --> 01:02:31.700
together to fit into God's perfect plan of bringing good into our lives.

1035
01:02:31.700 --> 01:02:35.020
For we are his lovers who have been called to fulfill his design purpose.

1036
01:02:35.020 --> 01:02:40.020
I want to encourage you guys, since we kind of talked about confession, I'm probably going

1037
01:02:40.020 --> 01:02:45.340
to just open up for Q&A and you guys can ask any question you want.

1038
01:02:45.980 --> 01:02:49.820
But I want to encourage you guys this week as you're leaning into forgiveness, even if

1039
01:02:49.820 --> 01:02:55.780
you're in week three, if the word brings people up to forgive, I want you to get that forgiveness

1040
01:02:55.780 --> 01:02:57.500
prayer out that's on that worksheet.

1041
01:02:57.500 --> 01:03:02.780
And I just want you to work through it because I want you to practice keeping short accounts.

1042
01:03:02.780 --> 01:03:03.780
What do I mean by that?

1043
01:03:03.780 --> 01:03:09.420
Short accounts is if somebody tomorrow hurts you or offends you, that you'll keep a short

1044
01:03:09.420 --> 01:03:13.700
account that you won't go throughout your whole day and carry that with you into the

1045
01:03:13.700 --> 01:03:14.860
night and sleep on it.

1046
01:03:15.380 --> 01:03:16.380
And then you have it the next day.

1047
01:03:16.380 --> 01:03:20.940
A short account is like, let's get that out of your soul and spirit right now, as quick

1048
01:03:20.940 --> 01:03:21.940
as you can.

1049
01:03:21.940 --> 01:03:22.940
Okay.

1050
01:03:22.940 --> 01:03:26.220
So some of you guys might want to take a screenshot of that forgiveness prayer, keep it in your

1051
01:03:26.220 --> 01:03:33.500
phone and just as soon as you have forgiven or I'm sorry, as soon as something happens,

1052
01:03:33.500 --> 01:03:41.460
you know, find a quiet space and pray that forgiveness prayer, forgiveness.

1053
01:03:41.460 --> 01:03:47.100
When you guys think about it this way to keep in mind that when our hearts are broken,

1054
01:03:47.100 --> 01:03:49.220
our broken hearts aren't forward with us.

1055
01:03:49.220 --> 01:03:55.460
So our broken hearts will tell us that we're okay, but we're not.

1056
01:03:55.460 --> 01:03:59.340
And the forgiveness prayer, unfortunately, like my book pages are different than your

1057
01:03:59.340 --> 01:04:08.180
all's, but I can tell you that it is right before chapter 12.

1058
01:04:08.180 --> 01:04:10.580
That's what I can tell you for sure.

1059
01:04:10.700 --> 01:04:13.980
So I want you guys to get a little bit more closure.

1060
01:04:13.980 --> 01:04:20.180
And the way you're going to do that is through choosing to forgive Ephesians 4, 23 says,

1061
01:04:20.180 --> 01:04:25.420
forgive one another, just as God forgave you because of what Christ has done.

1062
01:04:25.420 --> 01:04:28.740
Colossians 3, 13 says, remember the Lord forgave you.

1063
01:04:28.740 --> 01:04:33.380
So you must also forgive other people.

1064
01:04:33.380 --> 01:04:38.660
So as we choose to forgive you guys, that's how the tethers are getting broken.

1065
01:04:38.780 --> 01:04:43.020
I've told this story before, but this is literally the, one of the best analogies I've come up

1066
01:04:43.020 --> 01:04:46.380
with so far is like the tether pole, tether ball pole.

1067
01:04:46.380 --> 01:04:49.220
When we were younger in elementary school, if you're really young, you probably don't

1068
01:04:49.220 --> 01:04:54.140
have one or didn't see one, but it's a pole that has a string, a rope and a ball connected

1069
01:04:54.140 --> 01:04:55.140
to it.

1070
01:04:55.140 --> 01:05:00.020
And that ball cannot get off that rope and that tether pole until somebody.

1071
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:02.820
He takes it off or whatever.

1072
01:05:02.820 --> 01:05:05.400
So imagine that you are the ball.

1073
01:05:05.800 --> 01:05:06.180
Okay.

1074
01:05:06.860 --> 01:05:11.020
And the tether is the areas that you have not confessed, repented

1075
01:05:11.020 --> 01:05:12.360
and chosen not to forgive.

1076
01:05:13.160 --> 01:05:17.980
And it links you to the pole, which is the other person in that situation.

1077
01:05:18.300 --> 01:05:22.460
And you will never move away from that pole because you're

1078
01:05:22.460 --> 01:05:24.820
tethered to it until you forgive.

1079
01:05:26.200 --> 01:05:29.460
I don't know about you guys, but the first time I learned about that,

1080
01:05:29.840 --> 01:05:33.820
I was like, wait a minute, what I'm tethered to this person that

1081
01:05:33.820 --> 01:05:35.700
I'm choosing to not forgive right now.

1082
01:05:36.020 --> 01:05:37.860
That means I'm connected to them.

1083
01:05:37.860 --> 01:05:39.020
You all in the spirit.

1084
01:05:39.420 --> 01:05:41.200
I don't want to be connected to that person.

1085
01:05:41.600 --> 01:05:42.760
I'm going to forgive them.

1086
01:05:42.980 --> 01:05:46.420
And I'm going to do what God's word commands as well, because

1087
01:05:46.420 --> 01:05:48.860
that's a, it's a command to forgive.

1088
01:05:49.700 --> 01:05:52.780
And I'm going to get the heck away from this person and I'm

1089
01:05:52.780 --> 01:05:54.300
going to move my left forward.

1090
01:05:54.580 --> 01:05:57.660
And I'm trying to be a little silly because forgiveness is a, it's a heavy

1091
01:05:57.660 --> 01:06:02.300
topic and I know people struggle, but y'all for real, let's, let's get away

1092
01:06:02.300 --> 01:06:05.380
from these people, let's create some distance in the spirit.

1093
01:06:05.380 --> 01:06:10.020
Let's move our life forward and see what God will do.

1094
01:06:10.380 --> 01:06:10.980
Yes.

1095
01:06:11.100 --> 01:06:11.620
Yes.

1096
01:06:11.660 --> 01:06:13.860
Freedom is powerful.

1097
01:06:14.020 --> 01:06:15.640
Y'all where the spirit of the Lord is.

1098
01:06:15.640 --> 01:06:16.820
There is freedom.

1099
01:06:17.700 --> 01:06:19.740
When we walk, thank you, father.

1100
01:06:20.340 --> 01:06:24.100
When we walk in resentment and bitterness and unforgiveness, and

1101
01:06:24.100 --> 01:06:27.620
we continue to walk in that, that's how bitter roots are formed.

1102
01:06:29.220 --> 01:06:34.040
So if you got, if you all do any kind of search on bitter root scriptures,

1103
01:06:34.040 --> 01:06:39.660
you'll see there's several and God does not want us to have these bitter roots.

1104
01:06:39.940 --> 01:06:43.260
So when we choose to forgive, we're also getting that, all

1105
01:06:43.260 --> 01:06:45.180
that stuff will start to come out.

1106
01:06:45.740 --> 01:06:49.140
Unforgiveness and bitterness and resentment are like poison.

1107
01:06:49.340 --> 01:06:53.940
And I can imagine, I think most of you probably don't want to live your life

1108
01:06:53.940 --> 01:06:57.060
with the inside of you full of poison, right?

1109
01:06:58.140 --> 01:06:59.220
Just think of it that way.

1110
01:07:00.940 --> 01:07:02.460
Is it hard to forgive?

1111
01:07:03.780 --> 01:07:08.860
If you think about it that way, it will be, but here's the good thing.

1112
01:07:09.860 --> 01:07:13.820
God will enable you right now, right now.

1113
01:07:14.380 --> 01:07:15.420
He will enable you.

1114
01:07:15.420 --> 01:07:17.420
He will empower you to forgive.

1115
01:07:17.420 --> 01:07:19.940
He never asked us to do something.

1116
01:07:19.940 --> 01:07:21.820
He hasn't already already done.

1117
01:07:21.820 --> 01:07:27.460
Jesus on the cross chose to forgive y'all.

1118
01:07:27.460 --> 01:07:33.060
He went through the worst of the worst of the worst, and he chose to forgive.

1119
01:07:33.340 --> 01:07:34.380
And what did he say?

1120
01:07:34.700 --> 01:07:37.940
For they know not what they do.

1121
01:07:39.140 --> 01:07:44.980
Y'all have been through some horrible stuff, bad, even literally, and it's

1122
01:07:44.980 --> 01:07:47.860
not the worst thing I've ever been through, but even some stuff we're still

1123
01:07:47.860 --> 01:07:49.780
going through in this, these churches.

1124
01:07:49.780 --> 01:07:55.980
And it's just stuff that I'm like, man, they are not acting like the body.

1125
01:07:56.020 --> 01:07:59.540
They are not acting like the father and it hurts.

1126
01:07:59.860 --> 01:08:00.900
It hurts you all.

1127
01:08:02.580 --> 01:08:07.140
But like, I can either get bitter and resentful and stay there.

1128
01:08:07.140 --> 01:08:10.020
Or I can say what I'm telling you, while I'm preaching to myself

1129
01:08:10.020 --> 01:08:12.140
tonight, a little bit, keep a short account.

1130
01:08:12.140 --> 01:08:14.300
Father, no, I'm not going to be like them.

1131
01:08:14.300 --> 01:08:15.980
I'm not going to do what they're doing.

1132
01:08:16.220 --> 01:08:17.580
I'm going to lean into you.

1133
01:08:17.580 --> 01:08:20.859
I'm going to forgive and I'm going to let you take me higher.

1134
01:08:22.859 --> 01:08:25.500
I'm going to let you take me higher and I'm going to let you take me deeper and

1135
01:08:25.500 --> 01:08:27.740
further than I ever thought I could go.

1136
01:08:29.180 --> 01:08:33.899
So for whoever that's for tonight, I'm saying to you, as you choose to forgive

1137
01:08:34.220 --> 01:08:38.060
the thing you've been longing for and asking for, and you've been desperate for.

1138
01:08:38.060 --> 01:08:41.260
And you're wondering, how can I obtain that thing?

1139
01:08:41.580 --> 01:08:43.660
Some of you all, it is forgiveness.

1140
01:08:44.060 --> 01:08:47.740
And I know that you don't want me to tell you that, but that is the truth.

1141
01:08:47.819 --> 01:08:50.939
It is forgiveness is the path to freedom.

1142
01:08:51.500 --> 01:08:52.700
It is the path to life.

1143
01:08:52.700 --> 01:08:56.380
It is the path to abundant joy, unspeakable and full of glory.

1144
01:08:56.700 --> 01:08:57.260
It is.

1145
01:08:59.180 --> 01:09:00.380
Does, okay.

1146
01:09:00.380 --> 01:09:01.340
Let me say this too.

1147
01:09:01.500 --> 01:09:05.100
Will those feelings always come as soon as you feel it?

1148
01:09:05.100 --> 01:09:10.140
Will those feelings always come as soon as you forgive the joy, the hope, the

1149
01:09:10.140 --> 01:09:10.939
happiness?

1150
01:09:11.420 --> 01:09:11.740
No.

1151
01:09:13.740 --> 01:09:19.260
Sometimes you are not going to feel any different at all in the moment, but as

1152
01:09:19.260 --> 01:09:23.420
you continue to walk forward, you will start to feel different.

1153
01:09:25.180 --> 01:09:30.700
Sometimes some of you all will choose to forgive someone and they'll text you or

1154
01:09:30.700 --> 01:09:33.500
call you, or you'll see them the next day.

1155
01:09:33.740 --> 01:09:34.939
I'm not, I'm not joking.

1156
01:09:34.939 --> 01:09:36.460
Like legit, this stuff happens.

1157
01:09:38.380 --> 01:09:43.260
And sometimes it's because God's giving you an opportunity to continue to walk that

1158
01:09:43.260 --> 01:09:47.180
forgiveness out in the physical, because it's another layer of what you need.

1159
01:09:47.819 --> 01:09:50.779
Sometimes it's a test from the enemy.

1160
01:09:52.140 --> 01:09:56.220
He's trying to see if you'll go right back into that stuff.

1161
01:09:56.220 --> 01:09:58.940
If he uses that person to act like a snake.

1162
01:10:00.960 --> 01:10:02.960
Legit that will happen

1163
01:10:03.880 --> 01:10:10.820
But continue continue on don't don't take your eyes off the father where he's taking you keep moving forward

1164
01:10:11.160 --> 01:10:14.840
Because he's got good things ahead for you. He does he does

1165
01:10:15.360 --> 01:10:18.080
All right. I'm gonna open it up any questions

1166
01:10:18.080 --> 01:10:23.180
You can ask me anything and I'll do my best to answer you can be about any of the content Oh Alani

1167
01:10:23.800 --> 01:10:25.800
Eleni Lonnie, I don't I

1168
01:10:26.760 --> 01:10:28.760
Hope you can hear me. I'm driving but

1169
01:10:29.520 --> 01:10:32.560
When you talked about the being tethered to the pole

1170
01:10:32.560 --> 01:10:38.880
I think my thing is I think I've forgiven my mom, but apparently she keeps popping up

1171
01:10:40.520 --> 01:10:42.520
Like in my dreams or something

1172
01:10:42.920 --> 01:10:47.540
Somebody will be like, oh feel like and they have no idea what's going on between me and my mom

1173
01:10:47.540 --> 01:10:53.080
But they'll mention seems like there's somebody who has a critical voice in your life that you need to like

1174
01:10:53.280 --> 01:10:55.280
Break that or forgive that person

1175
01:10:55.480 --> 01:11:00.280
So I feel like I'm constantly doing that but I don't even think I have anything against my mom

1176
01:11:00.480 --> 01:11:07.360
but it's just something along those lines or I'm trying to figure out like I thought I forgave her forgave her, but I

1177
01:11:07.880 --> 01:11:11.840
Have this critical voice in like in my head maybe

1178
01:11:12.480 --> 01:11:16.120
So something along those lines is what I'm trying to figure out

1179
01:11:16.800 --> 01:11:19.240
What what that forgiveness aspect is?

1180
01:11:19.760 --> 01:11:24.400
What's what's happening in the dream? Like give me an example of something that happened in a dream. Um

1181
01:11:25.520 --> 01:11:28.120
I recently had a dream where

1182
01:11:30.560 --> 01:11:35.200
Basically basically she wasn't in the dream but the feeling of being

1183
01:11:37.000 --> 01:11:39.600
Like kind of not attended to like

1184
01:11:40.680 --> 01:11:42.680
everybody else was attended to but

1185
01:11:43.040 --> 01:11:45.080
When it was my turn, I was overlooked

1186
01:11:45.720 --> 01:11:49.160
And then there's like a critical voice of like rejection

1187
01:11:50.120 --> 01:11:52.120
And

1188
01:11:52.360 --> 01:11:54.360
Yeah, sorry my

1189
01:11:54.840 --> 01:12:00.400
Creators right now. Yeah, great. Okay. My next question. This is how I unpack stuff you also I'm giving you an example

1190
01:12:00.400 --> 01:12:03.120
I would do the same thing if I was coaching one-on-one

1191
01:12:04.080 --> 01:12:05.560
so

1192
01:12:05.560 --> 01:12:07.200
in the dream

1193
01:12:07.200 --> 01:12:10.480
Your mom wasn't there. I'm gonna kind of reiterate make sure I'm following you

1194
01:12:10.840 --> 01:12:16.200
You know, I've attended to and you felt overlooked and you noticed that rejection was present there

1195
01:12:16.640 --> 01:12:20.400
So, yeah, what makes you connect that to your mom?

1196
01:12:21.360 --> 01:12:26.240
um, actually it was when I was praying I sent the dream to one of my friends and she

1197
01:12:27.120 --> 01:12:33.280
She picked up that there's like is there some is there some familiar like familial like?

1198
01:12:33.880 --> 01:12:36.960
Something about my mom and my my relationship to my mom and my dad

1199
01:12:37.640 --> 01:12:40.960
but yeah, the dream was about going camping and

1200
01:12:41.920 --> 01:12:47.080
In like a small group setting and everybody knew about the trip except me and

1201
01:12:47.720 --> 01:12:51.520
it was like we're all supposed to share how we're doing and then

1202
01:12:53.000 --> 01:12:59.080
Every time it was my turn like there was a distraction and then people would be like, oh, let's attend to that thing and

1203
01:13:00.000 --> 01:13:03.680
And then I finally got mad and was like who's in charge here

1204
01:13:04.240 --> 01:13:06.640
Okay, this is good. Okay, so I

1205
01:13:07.280 --> 01:13:10.360
It's okay. We're going somewhere. That's what I want to have you stop for a sec

1206
01:13:11.160 --> 01:13:13.760
When's the first time you recall?

1207
01:13:14.800 --> 01:13:16.800
Let's just go with your mom for now

1208
01:13:16.920 --> 01:13:19.400
You feel like your mom

1209
01:13:20.360 --> 01:13:25.680
Didn't meet a need that you had in the moment and just whatever comes to your mind first

1210
01:13:28.400 --> 01:13:32.620
I mean I had a thing where I was

1211
01:13:34.360 --> 01:13:36.360
In high school

1212
01:13:37.120 --> 01:13:39.120
And

1213
01:13:40.960 --> 01:13:44.120
I guess she like emotionally she wasn't there for me

1214
01:13:46.480 --> 01:13:52.160
Okay, is there something specific about the situation that you were going through and you needed her to be there for you and she wasn't

1215
01:13:56.080 --> 01:13:58.080
That you're comfortable with sharing she would always

1216
01:14:00.080 --> 01:14:04.400
Shoot always have like talks with my sister, but when I tried to open up

1217
01:14:05.240 --> 01:14:07.160
she I

1218
01:14:07.160 --> 01:14:10.120
Don't think she understood the gravity of how I was feeling

1219
01:14:11.480 --> 01:14:19.080
So, I just never saw her as somebody I could go to did you feel like she understood your sister?

1220
01:14:21.680 --> 01:14:25.480
Yeah, like she would spend time trying to figure like

1221
01:14:26.320 --> 01:14:27.760
Comfort her

1222
01:14:27.760 --> 01:14:32.280
Okay. So here's here's where I see the rejection coming in in this situation

1223
01:14:33.920 --> 01:14:40.440
You at some point probably before this time is my is my gut feeling

1224
01:14:40.600 --> 01:14:42.600
Mm-hmm

1225
01:14:42.600 --> 01:14:45.080
Believed the lie from the enemy that your mom

1226
01:14:46.280 --> 01:14:48.280
Loves your sister more than you

1227
01:14:49.680 --> 01:14:51.240
And

1228
01:14:51.240 --> 01:14:58.280
Because yeah, I was believed it then started to I'll call it like branching off into other things

1229
01:14:58.280 --> 01:15:00.280
so for example

1230
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.200
Mom listens to my sister and understands her,

1231
01:15:03.200 --> 01:15:08.200
but mom doesn't take the time to fully understand me, okay?

1232
01:15:09.200 --> 01:15:11.040
And I'm not saying these things aren't real,

1233
01:15:11.040 --> 01:15:12.740
but I want you guys to understand

1234
01:15:12.740 --> 01:15:16.400
when this kind of thing happens, typically,

1235
01:15:16.400 --> 01:15:18.920
now she's giving us an example of something in high school,

1236
01:15:18.920 --> 01:15:20.280
because that's what came to her mind first.

1237
01:15:20.280 --> 01:15:22.640
So great job on that.

1238
01:15:22.640 --> 01:15:25.880
But what I would do from there is ask the Lord,

1239
01:15:25.880 --> 01:15:29.380
was there another time before that

1240
01:15:29.380 --> 01:15:34.380
where I felt like my mom didn't love me enough,

1241
01:15:36.220 --> 01:15:38.300
didn't listen to me, or, you know,

1242
01:15:38.300 --> 01:15:41.220
you can even say to the Lord that was similar to this,

1243
01:15:41.220 --> 01:15:45.100
but it happened before where I believe the lie

1244
01:15:45.100 --> 01:15:49.340
that I'm not loved as much as my sibling or whoever,

1245
01:15:49.340 --> 01:15:50.920
you know, for you guys, it might be somebody else,

1246
01:15:50.920 --> 01:15:54.020
but in this case, what the Lord is highlighting to me

1247
01:15:54.020 --> 01:15:55.860
is that there's a lot of comparison,

1248
01:15:55.860 --> 01:15:58.340
the enemies cause her to compare herself

1249
01:15:58.340 --> 01:16:00.980
to the love that her sister's getting versus herself,

1250
01:16:00.980 --> 01:16:04.780
or maybe even other siblings, hence the camping trip.

1251
01:16:04.780 --> 01:16:06.060
Y'all, this is how God,

1252
01:16:06.060 --> 01:16:08.420
he brings these things up through these dreams,

1253
01:16:08.420 --> 01:16:09.720
the camping trip,

1254
01:16:10.900 --> 01:16:13.020
I didn't write all this stuff down on the camping trip,

1255
01:16:13.020 --> 01:16:16.180
but you said everybody else was getting listened to,

1256
01:16:16.180 --> 01:16:18.860
and then when it came your turn,

1257
01:16:18.860 --> 01:16:21.060
there was a distraction.

1258
01:16:21.060 --> 01:16:25.040
And so you felt like they weren't listening to you.

1259
01:16:25.040 --> 01:16:29.520
So this probably took root way younger,

1260
01:16:29.520 --> 01:16:30.840
way younger at some point.

1261
01:16:30.840 --> 01:16:33.240
So I would encourage you pray about that,

1262
01:16:33.240 --> 01:16:36.000
and then if and when, okay,

1263
01:16:36.000 --> 01:16:38.960
I believe the when more than the if,

1264
01:16:38.960 --> 01:16:41.040
when God shows you what it is,

1265
01:16:41.040 --> 01:16:42.880
I would encourage you to create a post about it

1266
01:16:42.880 --> 01:16:44.920
and let us know how that goes,

1267
01:16:44.920 --> 01:16:46.480
because I think God's gonna wanna help you

1268
01:16:46.480 --> 01:16:47.920
unpack that more.

1269
01:16:47.920 --> 01:16:49.400
Okay, great.

1270
01:16:49.400 --> 01:16:50.440
Thank you so much.

1271
01:16:50.440 --> 01:16:51.280
You're welcome.

1272
01:16:51.280 --> 01:16:52.720
And this is how it starts, guys,

1273
01:16:52.720 --> 01:16:55.920
you're not always gonna get the exact answer every time

1274
01:16:55.920 --> 01:16:56.960
when we're on a live session,

1275
01:16:56.960 --> 01:16:59.080
but you'll get maybe a piece that can lead you

1276
01:16:59.080 --> 01:17:02.400
to the next revelation that you need.

1277
01:17:02.400 --> 01:17:05.120
Let's see, Michaela, is that how you say your name?

1278
01:17:05.120 --> 01:17:06.400
Michelle.

1279
01:17:06.400 --> 01:17:07.880
Michelle.

1280
01:17:07.880 --> 01:17:08.760
Thank you.

1281
01:17:08.760 --> 01:17:12.240
No, Bethany, I have been struggling a little bit

1282
01:17:12.240 --> 01:17:14.440
with unforgiveness for sure.

1283
01:17:14.440 --> 01:17:17.640
It's just that recently I realized

1284
01:17:17.640 --> 01:17:20.480
I had an abusive relationship with my ex,

1285
01:17:20.480 --> 01:17:22.320
but then just recently I realized

1286
01:17:22.920 --> 01:17:27.920
that he had been sexually abusive with my daughters.

1287
01:17:29.440 --> 01:17:30.800
My daughters are older now,

1288
01:17:30.800 --> 01:17:34.520
but they finally came out with the truth.

1289
01:17:34.520 --> 01:17:37.520
And that just sent me to a place,

1290
01:17:37.520 --> 01:17:40.040
to a very, very dark place,

1291
01:17:40.040 --> 01:17:44.280
but God has been working on me so much.

1292
01:17:44.280 --> 01:17:48.120
But one of the verses that caught my attention,

1293
01:17:48.120 --> 01:17:53.120
the Bible, is the Romans 12, 19, that says,

1294
01:17:53.680 --> 01:17:56.800
do not take revenge, my dear friends,

1295
01:17:56.800 --> 01:17:58.680
but leave room for God's wrath.

1296
01:17:59.600 --> 01:18:03.440
For it is written, it is mine to avenge, I will repay.

1297
01:18:04.400 --> 01:18:06.720
But however, I just struggle with that

1298
01:18:06.720 --> 01:18:08.480
because at the same time,

1299
01:18:10.560 --> 01:18:14.320
how can I say, he's been spoken to me to forgive, right?

1300
01:18:14.320 --> 01:18:19.200
So if I truly forgive,

1301
01:18:19.200 --> 01:18:22.360
then I should not be looking forward

1302
01:18:22.360 --> 01:18:26.000
to see that revenge, you know?

1303
01:18:27.720 --> 01:18:31.440
It's almost like I want to see the revenge.

1304
01:18:32.640 --> 01:18:35.040
But that's where you're at, sweetie, right now.

1305
01:18:36.040 --> 01:18:39.600
I want you to know it's super normal, okay?

1306
01:18:39.600 --> 01:18:43.280
And I say that because I've walked through it.

1307
01:18:43.840 --> 01:18:45.840
Way back in the beginning,

1308
01:18:45.840 --> 01:18:48.040
when I first started really facing

1309
01:18:48.040 --> 01:18:50.080
the sexual abuse I had gone through,

1310
01:18:52.080 --> 01:18:54.840
I did want revenge, you all, I did.

1311
01:18:54.840 --> 01:18:57.600
And I wanted them to have to pay for what they did

1312
01:18:57.600 --> 01:19:00.560
because my life was messed up because of it.

1313
01:19:00.560 --> 01:19:02.960
But God was working in my heart.

1314
01:19:02.960 --> 01:19:06.840
And I remember the first time

1315
01:19:06.840 --> 01:19:08.560
I'd ever gotten a prophetic word,

1316
01:19:08.560 --> 01:19:10.160
I'd never even knew anything about it.

1317
01:19:10.160 --> 01:19:13.320
I went to this church and this man prophesied it for me.

1318
01:19:13.320 --> 01:19:15.080
And he gave me this word,

1319
01:19:15.080 --> 01:19:16.760
and I'm gonna kind of butcher it,

1320
01:19:16.760 --> 01:19:19.240
but the word was, if you'll keep it for me,

1321
01:19:19.240 --> 01:19:21.880
I'll pour it out on you like choice oil.

1322
01:19:21.880 --> 01:19:25.160
And I knew God was speaking to me about that situation.

1323
01:19:26.640 --> 01:19:28.000
But he gave me a choice.

1324
01:19:28.000 --> 01:19:31.000
He didn't say I had to, he gave me a choice.

1325
01:19:31.000 --> 01:19:34.120
But he told me that if I kept that for him

1326
01:19:34.120 --> 01:19:35.280
and let him deal with it,

1327
01:19:35.280 --> 01:19:38.480
that he would pour that out on my life like choice oil.

1328
01:19:38.480 --> 01:19:41.520
And what I do know you all is that

1329
01:19:42.720 --> 01:19:46.120
while all that stuff was so hard,

1330
01:19:46.120 --> 01:19:49.400
I can help people in ways

1331
01:19:49.400 --> 01:19:53.280
that I don't know if I could have.

1332
01:19:53.280 --> 01:19:55.080
I don't think that was God's plan for me,

1333
01:19:55.080 --> 01:19:58.240
but he's absolutely using it to set other people free.

1334
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:02.840
I want you to know, and the reason I shared that

1335
01:20:02.840 --> 01:20:06.720
is because I think it's healthy for you guys to hear.

1336
01:20:06.720 --> 01:20:10.440
I went from the wanting revenge to God speaking to me

1337
01:20:10.440 --> 01:20:12.960
and ministering to me and comforting me

1338
01:20:12.960 --> 01:20:15.040
and giving me a promise.

1339
01:20:15.920 --> 01:20:18.600
He gave me a promise that night.

1340
01:20:18.600 --> 01:20:22.680
And I had a choice, and as I leaned into,

1341
01:20:22.680 --> 01:20:25.320
there's that lean word, I say lean a lot, don't I?

1342
01:20:25.320 --> 01:20:30.320
As I chose to align myself with the promise of heaven,

1343
01:20:31.160 --> 01:20:33.720
I mean, I can't tell you, and that prayer,

1344
01:20:33.720 --> 01:20:35.720
that word, it was recorded.

1345
01:20:35.720 --> 01:20:38.560
I can't tell you how many, I wore that tape out, you all,

1346
01:20:39.640 --> 01:20:42.620
because I needed to cling to that.

1347
01:20:42.620 --> 01:20:47.620
So I'm saying, Michella, that where you're at is normal

1348
01:20:49.120 --> 01:20:51.040
and the Lord understands,

1349
01:20:51.040 --> 01:20:53.400
and he's gonna meet you in every moment,

1350
01:20:53.400 --> 01:20:57.440
and he wants to continue to encourage you and love you,

1351
01:20:57.440 --> 01:20:59.840
and, ooh, I feel the Holy Spirit.

1352
01:21:02.920 --> 01:21:06.440
Even the father, it's like a bear with cubs,

1353
01:21:06.440 --> 01:21:08.200
he's protective, he is,

1354
01:21:08.200 --> 01:21:11.280
and it might not look always the way we think in the world,

1355
01:21:11.280 --> 01:21:12.640
because again, the world's ways

1356
01:21:12.640 --> 01:21:15.160
are way different than God's ways,

1357
01:21:15.160 --> 01:21:20.160
but he will handle the situation

1358
01:21:20.880 --> 01:21:23.080
in the way that he sees fit,

1359
01:21:23.080 --> 01:21:28.080
and he'll hold your heart in his hands.

1360
01:21:29.240 --> 01:21:33.240
The Bible talks about he'll collect every tear in a bottle,

1361
01:21:33.240 --> 01:21:38.240
right, and so I wanna encourage you to forgive yourself

1362
01:21:39.240 --> 01:21:44.240
for how you feel, and know that he understands, he does.

1363
01:21:44.240 --> 01:21:49.240
And he has compassion, yeah, he has compassion and grace

1364
01:21:49.240 --> 01:21:51.520
for you and for your daughters,

1365
01:21:51.520 --> 01:21:56.520
and he's gonna continue to see you through this

1366
01:21:56.520 --> 01:21:57.840
all the way, he's not gonna leave you

1367
01:21:57.840 --> 01:21:59.720
in the midst of this, okay?

1368
01:21:59.720 --> 01:22:01.040
Yes, thank you so much,

1369
01:22:01.040 --> 01:22:04.080
but I've been working in forgiving,

1370
01:22:04.080 --> 01:22:06.560
you know, it goes back and forth,

1371
01:22:06.560 --> 01:22:11.560
but it's just so important for me,

1372
01:22:12.560 --> 01:22:17.160
it's just because it was a conflicting kind of thing for me,

1373
01:22:17.160 --> 01:22:19.040
you know, like, so I should forgive,

1374
01:22:19.040 --> 01:22:24.040
but I'm still looking for the revenge, but I'm not.

1375
01:22:25.080 --> 01:22:28.080
Well, again, it's okay to,

1376
01:22:28.080 --> 01:22:30.080
like, that's what I'm trying to say to you guys,

1377
01:22:30.080 --> 01:22:32.440
is you guys, it's not like,

1378
01:22:34.160 --> 01:22:36.800
it's kind of like the same thing I said a couple weeks ago,

1379
01:22:36.800 --> 01:22:39.640
you know, God doesn't force his way into our hearts,

1380
01:22:39.640 --> 01:22:41.520
he stands at the door of our hearts,

1381
01:22:42.480 --> 01:22:45.640
and he knocks, and he asks for an invitation to come in,

1382
01:22:45.640 --> 01:22:47.680
Jesus Christ, the same thing,

1383
01:22:47.680 --> 01:22:50.880
when we accept Jesus Christ, it's an invitation,

1384
01:22:50.880 --> 01:22:54.120
and we invite him to come in

1385
01:22:54.120 --> 01:22:56.080
and change our hearts and our lives,

1386
01:22:56.080 --> 01:22:58.160
so even in this, it's kind of like

1387
01:22:58.160 --> 01:23:01.400
there's this invitation to forgiveness,

1388
01:23:01.400 --> 01:23:05.520
it's a process, you all, he understands the process,

1389
01:23:05.520 --> 01:23:07.920
it's that, here's the beautiful thing,

1390
01:23:07.920 --> 01:23:10.320
your heart is so tender and so beautiful,

1391
01:23:10.320 --> 01:23:11.680
I hope you know that,

1392
01:23:11.680 --> 01:23:14.240
like, there's a lot of people that would never

1393
01:23:15.280 --> 01:23:18.280
even wrestle with what you're wrestling with

1394
01:23:18.280 --> 01:23:19.760
in the way that you are,

1395
01:23:19.760 --> 01:23:23.840
because you don't want that to be in you,

1396
01:23:23.840 --> 01:23:28.000
and so even in that, there's a beauty in the wrestling

1397
01:23:28.000 --> 01:23:29.280
that you're going through right now,

1398
01:23:29.280 --> 01:23:31.160
I know it doesn't feel good,

1399
01:23:31.160 --> 01:23:34.520
but just know, like, God sees the beauty of the process

1400
01:23:34.520 --> 01:23:38.880
that you're in and your willingness to surrender your heart

1401
01:23:38.880 --> 01:23:43.160
and to surrender everything to him, he really does.

1402
01:23:43.160 --> 01:23:44.320
Thank you.

1403
01:23:44.320 --> 01:23:45.400
You're welcome.

1404
01:23:45.400 --> 01:23:48.800
We're gonna be praying for you and your daughters,

1405
01:23:48.800 --> 01:23:53.360
if you will, can you just put in the chat,

1406
01:23:53.360 --> 01:23:56.240
I'd like to be praying for your daughters by name,

1407
01:23:57.200 --> 01:24:00.040
that will help me a lot so that I can do that.

1408
01:24:00.960 --> 01:24:02.200
Thank you so much.

1409
01:24:02.200 --> 01:24:03.880
You're welcome, thank you for sharing,

1410
01:24:03.880 --> 01:24:05.280
Tiffany, go ahead.

1411
01:24:06.280 --> 01:24:11.280
Hi, Bethany, so how do I forgive my mother

1412
01:24:12.280 --> 01:24:17.280
when she continues to hurt me, like, verbally,

1413
01:24:19.240 --> 01:24:21.640
and it's Mother's Day coming up, right,

1414
01:24:21.640 --> 01:24:24.040
which is probably one of my least favorite holidays

1415
01:24:24.040 --> 01:24:27.360
because it's like, oh, I have to go find a card

1416
01:24:27.360 --> 01:24:29.840
that says, oh, you're the best mom in the world,

1417
01:24:29.840 --> 01:24:31.560
and it's like, I don't believe any of that,

1418
01:24:31.560 --> 01:24:34.040
I can't even bring myself to buy a card

1419
01:24:34.160 --> 01:24:37.120
that says that, and I mean,

1420
01:24:37.120 --> 01:24:39.120
if we're gonna fill out a piece of paper

1421
01:24:39.120 --> 01:24:41.000
to forgive every instance,

1422
01:24:41.000 --> 01:24:44.040
my stack's gonna be pretty high just for my mom,

1423
01:24:44.040 --> 01:24:45.880
and it's gonna continue to grow,

1424
01:24:45.880 --> 01:24:49.080
and part of me is like, what even is the point?

1425
01:24:49.080 --> 01:24:50.320
I'm gonna forgive her for this,

1426
01:24:50.320 --> 01:24:52.920
and then she's gonna do this, and then she's gonna do that,

1427
01:24:52.920 --> 01:24:56.600
and I have a lot of anger that has come up

1428
01:24:56.600 --> 01:24:58.440
in the last couple of weeks over her

1429
01:24:58.440 --> 01:24:59.800
while I'm doing this work.

1430
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:04.400
heartwork, which is interesting because I got into this heartwork because of my divorce.

1431
01:25:05.760 --> 01:25:15.840
Okay. So my first answer to you is that we are asked to forgive 70 times seven, which

1432
01:25:15.840 --> 01:25:22.720
it's not just a number. It's like continual. I will tell you this. I can relate to you.

1433
01:25:22.720 --> 01:25:28.880
My mother passed away though, and back in May of 2022, but my mother was similar.

1434
01:25:29.760 --> 01:25:33.440
Um, and I want to, you know, I always try to speak very carefully,

1435
01:25:33.440 --> 01:25:40.160
especially now that she's gone, but always even before that. But, um, I struggled with

1436
01:25:40.160 --> 01:25:44.960
very similar things as far as there was constantly something being said and things like that.

1437
01:25:46.160 --> 01:25:50.320
So one of the things, uh, and Jackie talks about this a lot and has over the years,

1438
01:25:50.320 --> 01:25:56.080
one of the things she talks about is that, um, we don't need to buy a card that's fake.

1439
01:25:57.120 --> 01:26:04.080
We don't need to buy and have something that says, um, something that we don't believe. Um,

1440
01:26:04.080 --> 01:26:07.520
I'm going to screenshot her daughter's names just real quick, just cause I don't want to forget to

1441
01:26:07.520 --> 01:26:15.600
do that. Bear with me. Um, but what we can do is we can get a card that just says, I mean,

1442
01:26:15.600 --> 01:26:20.960
even if it's blank and we just say happy mother's day, I'm praying for you, or God bless you. It

1443
01:26:20.960 --> 01:26:27.120
can be very simple, very still honoring. Um, you know, and here, here's the thing. This is,

1444
01:26:27.120 --> 01:26:31.360
this is, I wrestled with this too. I kind of lost you on the screen there for a minute.

1445
01:26:31.360 --> 01:26:39.360
There you are. Um, because Jackie encouraged me to get my mom something for her birthday

1446
01:26:40.320 --> 01:26:46.480
and I wrestled with it. I did because I was like, she doesn't deserve it. I'm just being a hundred

1447
01:26:46.480 --> 01:26:51.440
percent honest. I didn't feel like she deserved it because something that she had just done,

1448
01:26:51.440 --> 01:26:59.840
that was really hurtful. And, uh, but Jackie challenged me and she said, you know, we don't

1449
01:26:59.840 --> 01:27:09.840
deserve love either. Ouch. Truth, right? Yes. You all, we don't deserve love either, but God

1450
01:27:09.840 --> 01:27:18.880
gives it to us freely unconditionally without condition without condition. And so that stirred

1451
01:27:18.880 --> 01:27:23.840
in my heart a lot. It was a good reminder. And I had heard it before you guys have, I mean,

1452
01:27:23.840 --> 01:27:29.600
I've been saved a long time, but when she said it to me that day, it hit my heart a lot differently.

1453
01:27:30.240 --> 01:27:37.040
Because here I was putting a condition on my mom. If you're perfect, if you do this,

1454
01:27:37.040 --> 01:27:39.680
then, then you are deserving of my love.

1455
01:27:42.560 --> 01:27:47.280
Does it, did it hurt me like crazy when she was mean to me? Absolutely. She's my mom.

1456
01:27:47.280 --> 01:27:51.600
I wanted her to love me. I wanted to be close to her. I wanted all these things.

1457
01:27:52.560 --> 01:27:57.840
I didn't have my relationship with her, but you know what? I prayed into that

1458
01:27:57.840 --> 01:28:04.400
and I did choose, I sent her this, um, she was in a nursing home at the time. I sent her this,

1459
01:28:04.400 --> 01:28:09.360
um, edible and rain arrangement. I spent more money than I originally was going to,

1460
01:28:09.360 --> 01:28:14.800
just because I felt led at that point. Like I need to bless her more. I need to bless her extra

1461
01:28:14.800 --> 01:28:21.680
because I need to break free from this cycle of, you know, the manipulation and the hurt and the

1462
01:28:21.680 --> 01:28:26.560
unforgiveness and the bitterness, like the cycle that we were in. And I just decided I'm breaking

1463
01:28:26.560 --> 01:28:35.440
free from this stuff. And so, um, I sent her that, that gift, that arrangement and, you know,

1464
01:28:35.440 --> 01:28:40.320
it really blessed her. She even posted on Facebook about it, which, you know, it was like a big deal

1465
01:28:40.320 --> 01:28:46.640
for my mom to do something like that. Here's the kicker. And then she did something mean again.

1466
01:28:48.480 --> 01:28:52.880
And, and there was that part of me that was like, I should have never sent that to her

1467
01:28:53.600 --> 01:28:58.880
because it didn't even matter, but see, that's the enemy. That was the enemy.

1468
01:29:00.160 --> 01:29:05.200
And so I just kept praying into it. Like, Lord, I don't, all I know is that hurt people,

1469
01:29:05.200 --> 01:29:12.960
hurt people. And my mom doesn't even know the depth of what she's doing. She doesn't. And her

1470
01:29:12.960 --> 01:29:20.720
brokenness is causing her to act in ways that are not healthy. I wasn't excusing her. I limited my,

1471
01:29:20.720 --> 01:29:27.680
my connection with her, but I knew God was calling me to keep loving. Love is a risk you

1472
01:29:27.680 --> 01:29:33.200
all it is, but it's worth it. And I'm going to, I'm going to kind of button this part up with this.

1473
01:29:35.440 --> 01:29:39.280
I'm so grateful that I listened to the Holy spirit and not my flesh.

1474
01:29:42.160 --> 01:29:46.320
I had no clue y'all that all that stuff I was just talking about

1475
01:29:46.320 --> 01:29:59.360
happened in, let's see, April in the beginning of May of 2022. My mom died two weeks later.

1476
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:05.960
I'm not saying it's going to happen like that for anybody else.

1477
01:30:05.960 --> 01:30:15.360
I hope it doesn't, but ask me now if I regret it.

1478
01:30:15.360 --> 01:30:18.200
Not one second.

1479
01:30:18.200 --> 01:30:27.080
My mom at times didn't deserve by her actions in my mind and in my flesh, the love that

1480
01:30:27.080 --> 01:30:30.200
I was pouring back out on her.

1481
01:30:30.200 --> 01:30:39.720
But if I'm getting the love from the father and I'm getting filled up every day from him,

1482
01:30:39.720 --> 01:30:40.720
then you know what?

1483
01:30:40.720 --> 01:30:43.720
I'm given out of the overflow of what he's given me.

1484
01:30:43.720 --> 01:30:44.720
Yeah.

1485
01:30:44.720 --> 01:30:46.760
Otherwise it's just being selfish.

1486
01:30:46.760 --> 01:30:47.760
Yeah.

1487
01:30:47.760 --> 01:30:56.080
And so you guys, there are going to be times where it is just hard, gut wrenching, but

1488
01:30:56.080 --> 01:31:02.760
I can tell you since my mom passed away in the last six months, you all, I hardly ever

1489
01:31:02.760 --> 01:31:05.480
had my mom in my dreams.

1490
01:31:05.480 --> 01:31:11.440
I've had two dreams of my mom coming in my dreams and protecting me.

1491
01:31:11.440 --> 01:31:17.360
And I believe it is from heaven and that God is showing me my mom's true heart for me.

1492
01:31:17.360 --> 01:31:23.000
And so again, these concepts might blow your all's minds a little bit, but I'm telling

1493
01:31:23.000 --> 01:31:28.480
you, we don't always know what's working behind the scenes.

1494
01:31:28.480 --> 01:31:33.440
People that are broken, again, the enemy can use them to get to us and that's true.

1495
01:31:33.440 --> 01:31:39.040
But if I don't focus on that and I focus more on the father and what he's doing and father,

1496
01:31:39.040 --> 01:31:42.640
what do you want me to be doing?

1497
01:31:42.640 --> 01:31:48.560
Then I can just be a vessel that he works through and I don't have to allow myself to

1498
01:31:48.560 --> 01:31:50.760
continue to be abused by those people.

1499
01:31:50.760 --> 01:31:56.240
Now in my circumstance and situation, I felt like God in that time was asking me to kind

1500
01:31:56.240 --> 01:32:00.520
of be back around my mom more in that season.

1501
01:32:00.520 --> 01:32:02.120
I had taken a break from that.

1502
01:32:02.120 --> 01:32:04.400
You all, I did for several years.

1503
01:32:04.400 --> 01:32:08.620
I hardly saw her because it was just too painful and too hard.

1504
01:32:08.620 --> 01:32:13.400
So I gave myself time to heal and get into a better place.

1505
01:32:13.400 --> 01:32:14.600
And here's the other thing.

1506
01:32:14.600 --> 01:32:16.440
Thank you, Lord.

1507
01:32:16.440 --> 01:32:24.240
When I would go around my mom, I had to posture myself in a heart posture of ministry.

1508
01:32:24.240 --> 01:32:31.480
I had to go into that atmosphere and understand that I'm going as a minister of Christ, not

1509
01:32:31.480 --> 01:32:34.220
just her daughter.

1510
01:32:34.220 --> 01:32:39.960
Because if I went in as just her daughter, then my heart was way more vulnerable.

1511
01:32:40.960 --> 01:32:47.960
But if I went in as also the minister that I am, then I can hear things she's saying

1512
01:32:47.960 --> 01:32:52.520
and funnel it through the truth that I know as a coach.

1513
01:32:52.520 --> 01:32:54.520
Does that make sense?

1514
01:32:54.520 --> 01:32:56.520
A hundred percent.

1515
01:32:56.520 --> 01:32:57.520
Yes.

1516
01:32:57.520 --> 01:32:58.520
Yes.

1517
01:32:58.520 --> 01:32:59.520
God is so good.

1518
01:32:59.520 --> 01:33:06.520
You guys, he is, if we forgive, he will pour out a blessing on us, which we cannot contain.

1519
01:33:06.520 --> 01:33:07.680
We can't comprehend it.

1520
01:33:07.680 --> 01:33:08.680
We can't conceive it.

1521
01:33:08.680 --> 01:33:12.560
And we cannot even imagine the glory that will be revealed.

1522
01:33:12.560 --> 01:33:13.560
Truly.

1523
01:33:13.560 --> 01:33:14.560
Yeah.

1524
01:33:14.560 --> 01:33:16.560
We'll pray for you.

1525
01:33:16.560 --> 01:33:17.560
Bless you.

1526
01:33:17.560 --> 01:33:18.560
You guys, Mother's Day.

1527
01:33:18.560 --> 01:33:25.640
Again, just as a reminder, come if you can, please come to Sunday night activation, Sunday

1528
01:33:25.640 --> 01:33:26.640
night.

1529
01:33:26.640 --> 01:33:27.640
What is that?

1530
01:33:27.640 --> 01:33:28.640
This Sunday?

1531
01:33:28.640 --> 01:33:29.640
It is.

1532
01:33:29.640 --> 01:33:30.640
Oh my gosh.

1533
01:33:30.640 --> 01:33:31.640
This Sunday night.

1534
01:33:31.640 --> 01:33:32.640
Come to that.

1535
01:33:32.640 --> 01:33:34.360
We're going to be doing some special ministry.

1536
01:33:34.360 --> 01:33:37.040
You don't have to be a mom to come.

1537
01:33:37.400 --> 01:33:38.400
It's for everyone.

1538
01:33:38.400 --> 01:33:43.160
We're going to minister to people in every area regarding any, anything you can think

1539
01:33:43.160 --> 01:33:46.700
of regarding the needs for healing regarding moms.

1540
01:33:46.700 --> 01:33:47.700
Maybe you are a mom.

1541
01:33:47.700 --> 01:33:51.560
Maybe you've been hurt by mom, all the different things come, come, come, come, please come

1542
01:33:51.560 --> 01:33:52.560
to that.

1543
01:33:52.560 --> 01:33:53.560
All right.

1544
01:33:53.560 --> 01:33:54.560
So I have one more hand up.

1545
01:33:54.560 --> 01:33:55.560
That's been waiting.

1546
01:33:55.560 --> 01:33:58.040
If you need to log out, I completely understand.

1547
01:33:58.040 --> 01:34:02.600
I try not to go over an hour and a half, but I really, I'm grateful that I gave that time

1548
01:34:02.600 --> 01:34:04.440
and space regarding mom wounds.

1549
01:34:04.440 --> 01:34:07.200
Cause I know a lot of you guys have those as well.

1550
01:34:07.200 --> 01:34:11.440
Michelle would love to hear what you want to share tonight.

1551
01:34:11.440 --> 01:34:12.440
Hello.

1552
01:34:12.440 --> 01:34:13.440
Hi.

1553
01:34:13.440 --> 01:34:14.440
Hi.

1554
01:34:14.440 --> 01:34:16.720
All right.

1555
01:34:16.720 --> 01:34:24.240
So I did the forgiveness prayer and I went through the reading for that and I could understand,

1556
01:34:24.240 --> 01:34:28.760
you know, being hurt by someone and it's hard to forgive them because at one point when

1557
01:34:28.760 --> 01:34:32.580
I read in the book, it said that if you, if you're willing to forgive someone and they

1558
01:34:32.580 --> 01:34:37.900
were somebody that I didn't really want to forgive and I said no to myself, but then

1559
01:34:37.900 --> 01:34:42.500
I realized that you can ask God to forgive the person for you.

1560
01:34:42.500 --> 01:34:46.700
So I did that and I actually did a forgiveness prayer for that person and it really helped

1561
01:34:46.700 --> 01:34:47.700
to release me.

1562
01:34:47.700 --> 01:34:49.700
I was surprised by that.

1563
01:34:49.700 --> 01:34:55.860
However, on the other hand, my mother also came to mind about forgiveness as well.

1564
01:34:55.860 --> 01:34:59.780
And I thought that for me, that's strange because I.

1565
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:02.000
I had a good relationship with my mother.

1566
01:35:02.000 --> 01:35:08.000
She was a very good mother to me, but I find it hard to think that I need to forgive her.

1567
01:35:08.000 --> 01:35:13.000
But I remember when I became a Christian, there was a memory that God brought back to me.

1568
01:35:13.000 --> 01:35:19.000
That when I was a child, in my country, when you're about four to six years,

1569
01:35:19.000 --> 01:35:23.000
they give you like a booklet with words that you have to learn.

1570
01:35:23.000 --> 01:35:27.000
But I was not really good at grammar and spelling.

1571
01:35:27.000 --> 01:35:30.000
And I remember she was teaching me at about five or six.

1572
01:35:30.000 --> 01:35:32.000
And for some reason, I couldn't get it.

1573
01:35:32.000 --> 01:35:35.000
And I think she called me stupid.

1574
01:35:35.000 --> 01:35:38.000
And for some reason, that memory just came back.

1575
01:35:38.000 --> 01:35:42.000
And an ex-pastor also told me that there were words that were spoken over me

1576
01:35:42.000 --> 01:35:45.000
that really affected me.

1577
01:35:45.000 --> 01:35:48.000
And even now, when I was waiting to talk to you, I even said to myself,

1578
01:35:48.000 --> 01:35:53.000
I feel stupid asking this question because my mother was a good person.

1579
01:35:53.000 --> 01:35:58.000
I remember even after she passed, I felt like I had to do well in school

1580
01:35:58.000 --> 01:36:01.000
because I had to make her proud.

1581
01:36:01.000 --> 01:36:04.000
To the point where it felt really heavy on me as well.

1582
01:36:04.000 --> 01:36:06.000
Because maybe that's where my perfection came from,

1583
01:36:06.000 --> 01:36:11.000
where I felt like I have to do well because of that moment.

1584
01:36:11.000 --> 01:36:17.000
But to me, that's the hardest part because I know that she's not that type of person

1585
01:36:17.000 --> 01:36:21.000
and she must have went through something very hard for her to have said that.

1586
01:36:22.000 --> 01:36:27.000
But I still cannot come to a point where I can write that forgiveness prayer for her.

1587
01:36:27.000 --> 01:36:29.000
So God will get you to that point.

1588
01:36:29.000 --> 01:36:31.000
I think just from what you've shared,

1589
01:36:31.000 --> 01:36:39.000
I think when you come to terms with the fact that your mom isn't perfect,

1590
01:36:39.000 --> 01:36:42.000
and I don't mean that you think like put her on this pedestal,

1591
01:36:42.000 --> 01:36:48.000
but sometimes even from my experience with people,

1592
01:36:48.000 --> 01:36:51.000
when they do have good parents,

1593
01:36:51.000 --> 01:36:56.000
they actually sometimes struggle more to actually face the reality

1594
01:36:56.000 --> 01:37:02.000
that their parent did or said something that actually did hurt them deeply.

1595
01:37:02.000 --> 01:37:10.000
And so it's okay to just acknowledge that your mom was a great mom,

1596
01:37:10.000 --> 01:37:13.000
but in that moment, she wasn't.

1597
01:37:15.000 --> 01:37:19.000
Because she's imperfect and every person is imperfect.

1598
01:37:22.000 --> 01:37:25.000
I absolutely have not done everything perfectly,

1599
01:37:25.000 --> 01:37:29.000
even as a role model for my spiritual daughters.

1600
01:37:30.000 --> 01:37:32.000
I mean, there's things all the time that I'm like,

1601
01:37:32.000 --> 01:37:34.000
oh Lord, help them to forgive.

1602
01:37:35.000 --> 01:37:41.000
And so the other thing that's coming up in my spirit,

1603
01:37:41.000 --> 01:37:46.000
just as I was kind of sharing that is that sometimes it's just a choice.

1604
01:37:48.000 --> 01:37:50.000
So I would encourage you to ask yourself,

1605
01:37:50.000 --> 01:37:53.000
why are you avoiding writing that prayer?

1606
01:37:54.000 --> 01:37:58.000
And ask the Holy Spirit to reveal, is it just you're avoiding it?

1607
01:37:58.000 --> 01:38:03.000
Is it that you're having a hard time acknowledging your mom who is great?

1608
01:38:03.000 --> 01:38:07.000
Good mom made this mistake that wounded you so deeply.

1609
01:38:07.000 --> 01:38:13.000
Is it that you haven't fully allowed yourself to feel the pain of that day?

1610
01:38:13.000 --> 01:38:17.000
As you said, four to six year old timeframe.

1611
01:38:18.000 --> 01:38:21.000
I mean, there's a lot of different things that could be going on there,

1612
01:38:21.000 --> 01:38:26.000
but ask the Lord to reveal like what's keeping you from moving forward

1613
01:38:26.000 --> 01:38:28.000
and praying the prayer.

1614
01:38:29.000 --> 01:38:32.000
Sometimes too, this might seem a little crazy,

1615
01:38:32.000 --> 01:38:36.000
but what can happen even is now this memory has surfaced.

1616
01:38:36.000 --> 01:38:37.000
And even though it's not a good memory,

1617
01:38:37.000 --> 01:38:41.000
it's a memory about your mom and an interaction that you all had.

1618
01:38:41.000 --> 01:38:45.000
And sometimes people will cling to that stuff instead of moving forward

1619
01:38:45.000 --> 01:38:49.000
because there's some feeling of closeness.

1620
01:38:50.000 --> 01:38:52.000
And again, I'm just kind of putting a couple things out there

1621
01:38:52.000 --> 01:38:55.000
and I'll let the Lord reveal to you what it is for you.

1622
01:38:56.000 --> 01:39:02.000
But I would encourage you to choose to move forward,

1623
01:39:02.000 --> 01:39:04.000
to choose to do that prayer,

1624
01:39:04.000 --> 01:39:07.000
but seek the Lord about what's keeping you from doing it.

1625
01:39:10.000 --> 01:39:15.000
And also aligning with the truth that you're not stupid

1626
01:39:15.000 --> 01:39:20.000
and that you don't have to continue to strive to make them proud,

1627
01:39:20.000 --> 01:39:22.000
whether for you, it's your mom,

1628
01:39:22.000 --> 01:39:26.000
for someone else that might be their dad or someone in their family

1629
01:39:27.000 --> 01:39:30.000
where you guys just really give yourselves permission to be who you are

1630
01:39:31.000 --> 01:39:35.000
and that you're not living up to some expectation,

1631
01:39:35.000 --> 01:39:38.000
not only of people that are here on earth, but people that are gone.

1632
01:39:40.000 --> 01:39:43.000
Okay. So I find it very interesting.

1633
01:39:43.000 --> 01:39:46.000
I actually thought I didn't even, I didn't even,

1634
01:39:46.000 --> 01:39:48.000
I forgot mother's day was this Sunday. If you guys didn't catch on,

1635
01:39:48.000 --> 01:39:50.000
I kind of forgot that was coming up, but,

1636
01:39:51.000 --> 01:39:54.000
I had a feeling we were going to do forgiveness towards dads tonight,

1637
01:39:54.000 --> 01:39:58.000
but mom's was definitely kind of an underlying theme.

1638
01:39:58.000 --> 01:40:00.000
I want to encourage you guys.

1639
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:04.560
I saw several of you saying this resonated, this resonated,

1640
01:40:04.560 --> 01:40:09.560
you know, be really kind to yourselves this week, ladies.

1641
01:40:10.240 --> 01:40:11.080
Okay.

1642
01:40:12.680 --> 01:40:14.320
You know, spend some extra time,

1643
01:40:14.320 --> 01:40:17.200
whatever the thing is that's gonna make you feel comforted.

1644
01:40:17.200 --> 01:40:19.280
If it's taking a bath with candles,

1645
01:40:19.280 --> 01:40:22.160
if it's going for a walk, if it's reading,

1646
01:40:22.160 --> 01:40:25.380
if it's getting an extra nap, do those things.

1647
01:40:25.380 --> 01:40:26.960
You guys are processing a lot,

1648
01:40:26.960 --> 01:40:28.800
but especially during, you know,

1649
01:40:28.800 --> 01:40:31.140
Mother's Day can be a trigger for a lot of people

1650
01:40:31.140 --> 01:40:33.080
for a lot of different reasons.

1651
01:40:33.080 --> 01:40:36.640
If that doesn't apply to you, great, but if it is,

1652
01:40:36.640 --> 01:40:39.240
you know, just know that we're praying, we're here.

1653
01:40:39.240 --> 01:40:44.240
Yeah, Tammy, you can absolutely write about that

1654
01:40:44.480 --> 01:40:46.440
in the group, we wanna help you process that.

1655
01:40:46.440 --> 01:40:49.080
If it is, whoever you guys are having a hard time

1656
01:40:49.080 --> 01:40:51.480
processing, forgiving them, you know,

1657
01:40:51.480 --> 01:40:53.480
that's what the group is for.

1658
01:40:53.480 --> 01:40:56.240
That's what even these sessions that we're here coaching

1659
01:40:56.240 --> 01:40:59.000
through this stuff, just know that you're not alone

1660
01:40:59.000 --> 01:41:01.600
and God loves you and he wants to continue

1661
01:41:01.600 --> 01:41:04.040
to help you process those things.

1662
01:41:04.920 --> 01:41:08.560
Michelle, thank you for sharing, if I forgot to say that.

1663
01:41:08.560 --> 01:41:10.920
But you guys, it's gonna be a great week, okay?

1664
01:41:10.920 --> 01:41:12.940
So that's the last thing I wanna say.

1665
01:41:13.880 --> 01:41:18.720
I know that it can be a hard week and sometimes knowing

1666
01:41:18.720 --> 01:41:21.160
that a holiday like this is coming

1667
01:41:21.560 --> 01:41:26.360
can actually send people into like a yucky kind of funk

1668
01:41:26.360 --> 01:41:29.000
place, but here's what I wanna encourage you guys.

1669
01:41:29.000 --> 01:41:31.440
It could be that for me too, it really could be.

1670
01:41:32.380 --> 01:41:34.960
But God has been talking to me the last few years

1671
01:41:34.960 --> 01:41:39.960
about like reclaiming things.

1672
01:41:41.540 --> 01:41:43.920
So I wanna encourage you all this week

1673
01:41:43.920 --> 01:41:48.920
to reclaim Mother's Day, whatever that looks like for you.

1674
01:41:49.640 --> 01:41:52.440
This is one of the ways I started reclaiming things

1675
01:41:52.440 --> 01:41:55.160
a few years ago and it wasn't always just Mother's Day,

1676
01:41:55.160 --> 01:41:56.800
but it was just different things.

1677
01:41:57.980 --> 01:42:02.000
I love flowers, so if there was a day or a holiday

1678
01:42:02.000 --> 01:42:03.840
or anything that I was reclaiming,

1679
01:42:03.840 --> 01:42:05.880
I went and bought myself flowers

1680
01:42:05.880 --> 01:42:07.380
and I did something nice for myself.

1681
01:42:07.380 --> 01:42:11.520
So for you guys, maybe you need to buy a Mother's Day card

1682
01:42:11.520 --> 01:42:15.300
for yourself and write a note to yourself

1683
01:42:15.300 --> 01:42:17.840
and encourage yourself as a mom.

1684
01:42:17.840 --> 01:42:19.240
Reclaim Mother's Day.

1685
01:42:19.240 --> 01:42:21.200
Maybe some of you guys have broken relationships

1686
01:42:21.200 --> 01:42:24.760
with your kids, reclaim Mother's Day for you.

1687
01:42:24.760 --> 01:42:26.160
Go out with a friend.

1688
01:42:26.160 --> 01:42:27.680
Don't stay home alone.

1689
01:42:27.680 --> 01:42:29.980
Please, please, please, I encourage you.

1690
01:42:29.980 --> 01:42:33.100
Do not stay home alone and isolate yourself.

1691
01:42:33.100 --> 01:42:34.840
Go celebrate who you are.

1692
01:42:34.840 --> 01:42:36.800
Go buy yourself a dress.

1693
01:42:36.800 --> 01:42:39.440
You guys, I mean, there's so many things you can do

1694
01:42:40.520 --> 01:42:42.080
to celebrate who you are,

1695
01:42:42.080 --> 01:42:44.600
to celebrate what God has done in your life.

1696
01:42:44.600 --> 01:42:46.780
And again, I'm not minimizing the pain

1697
01:42:46.860 --> 01:42:48.660
of what you guys have gone through with moms

1698
01:42:48.660 --> 01:42:53.660
or dads or whoever, but God is making all things new

1699
01:42:54.520 --> 01:42:58.140
and you can choose to align with the new.

1700
01:43:00.300 --> 01:43:01.760
Is it easy?

1701
01:43:01.760 --> 01:43:04.780
No, but it will be worth it.

1702
01:43:05.620 --> 01:43:07.060
It will be worth it.

1703
01:43:07.060 --> 01:43:09.200
Maybe some of you, it's reclaiming a t-shirt.

1704
01:43:09.200 --> 01:43:11.140
Maybe some of you, it's reclaiming a town,

1705
01:43:11.140 --> 01:43:13.100
an area that you don't go to anymore

1706
01:43:13.100 --> 01:43:16.780
because somebody that hurt you before

1707
01:43:16.780 --> 01:43:18.180
that you actually need to forgive

1708
01:43:18.180 --> 01:43:20.980
and God's putting that person on your heart tonight,

1709
01:43:20.980 --> 01:43:22.180
you don't go to that town

1710
01:43:22.180 --> 01:43:23.660
or you don't go to that coffee shop

1711
01:43:23.660 --> 01:43:26.280
because that is where you went with that person.

1712
01:43:26.280 --> 01:43:28.800
Maybe some of you all need to go visit that place

1713
01:43:28.800 --> 01:43:31.260
and have a great cup of coffee or whatever

1714
01:43:31.260 --> 01:43:34.340
and say, thank you, Jesus, that I'm reclaiming this place

1715
01:43:34.340 --> 01:43:37.780
and those old memories don't keep me bound anymore.

1716
01:43:37.780 --> 01:43:40.140
I'm just throwing all kinds of ideas out there,

1717
01:43:40.140 --> 01:43:41.460
but we bless you.

1718
01:43:41.460 --> 01:43:43.140
We thank you guys for showing up,

1719
01:43:43.140 --> 01:43:45.840
showing up for yourself, showing up for everybody here.

1720
01:43:45.840 --> 01:43:47.440
I hope this is a blessing to you tonight.

1721
01:43:47.440 --> 01:43:49.060
I'm gonna pray and close this out.

1722
01:43:49.060 --> 01:43:51.420
God's doing something kind of wonderful in our grief.

1723
01:43:51.420 --> 01:43:53.460
I hope you feel and experience it.

1724
01:43:53.460 --> 01:43:56.340
Receive the joy of the Lord.

1725
01:43:56.340 --> 01:44:00.280
His love is wide and deep for you.

1726
01:44:00.280 --> 01:44:03.340
Father, thank you so much for your healing power

1727
01:44:03.340 --> 01:44:05.400
and virtue that flows down from heaven.

1728
01:44:06.260 --> 01:44:08.820
God, we thank you that you would place the balm of Gilead

1729
01:44:08.820 --> 01:44:12.060
upon hearts, minds, bodies, spirits, and souls.

1730
01:44:12.060 --> 01:44:13.860
God, that you would heal mother wounds,

1731
01:44:13.860 --> 01:44:16.220
that you would heal father wounds and sister wounds,

1732
01:44:16.220 --> 01:44:18.520
that you would heal, yes, Lord,

1733
01:44:19.500 --> 01:44:22.540
that you would heal identity wounds

1734
01:44:22.540 --> 01:44:24.240
in the core of who they are,

1735
01:44:24.240 --> 01:44:27.100
that you would pour confidence into them.

1736
01:44:27.100 --> 01:44:28.580
God, that you would help them to become more

1737
01:44:28.580 --> 01:44:31.140
and more confident in you every single day.

1738
01:44:31.140 --> 01:44:33.900
God, that you would help them to choose to forgive,

1739
01:44:33.900 --> 01:44:36.500
that you would give them the grace and the enablement,

1740
01:44:36.780 --> 01:44:39.940
the power from heaven, yes, Lord,

1741
01:44:39.940 --> 01:44:43.220
the same power that rose Jesus Christ from the dead

1742
01:44:43.220 --> 01:44:45.080
is living in them, operating in them,

1743
01:44:45.080 --> 01:44:47.420
and can enable them to forgive.

1744
01:44:47.420 --> 01:44:49.540
So Lord, I thank you that you help us all.

1745
01:44:50.660 --> 01:44:53.100
Even those that today might've hurt us,

1746
01:44:53.100 --> 01:44:55.980
thank you for helping us to forgive them,

1747
01:44:55.980 --> 01:44:57.860
to pray for them.

1748
01:44:57.860 --> 01:45:00.300
And we thank you, God, for releasing us in life.

1749
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:03.240
launching us forward into the new that you have for us.

1750
01:45:03.240 --> 01:45:05.100
In Jesus name, amen.

1751
01:45:05.100 --> 01:45:06.600
God bless you.

1752
01:45:06.600 --> 01:45:08.080
We'll see you guys really soon.

1753
01:45:08.080 --> 01:45:09.680
Have a wonderful night, everyone.