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Alright guys, let's get started here. Sorry, I'm still in transit, but that is okay. We will go ahead and start.

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And there's only two guys here so you guys get a lot of attention tonight. How about that. And I'll be on camera here in probably the next 10 minutes.

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Alright, so let me go ahead and start the recording.

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Alright. Okay, so dating 101 is the topic tonight. So I'm going to go ahead and assume that both of you gentlemen and anyone who's watching this replay has finished the heart work portion of last year single.

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Is that correct.

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Oh Matthew you haven't.

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Okay, so you definitely want to start there, and there is a heart check in tonight so if you want to jump over to that other link we will not be offended.

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But if you want to stay here and kind of, if you want to stay here and hear what this is all about, and then go watch that and replay at a different time.

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Have you done any. Have you done any of the heart work materials yet. Yeah, I've started it a few times but I always get stuck when it's time to make the Jesus care board, I just don't put in the effort.

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And then, and then I start over.

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Oh, well that's like in the first two videos. So I've done like the first three big first two three videos.

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But here's the thing, you don't Jesus cares board for you for, you know, for a guy, you know, it could be just simply you know you writing down a few things, you know, on your computer screen and putting a post it note on your, you know, your, you know, you know that little memos

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that you can put up digitally that just has a few areas where you know that you're on the struggle bus, and you're just asking God to, you know, supernaturally give you answers in those areas or favor in those areas or whatever it is.

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It doesn't have to be some big craft project. Now I do admit the women go crazy for crafts.

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They definitely do right they get out there. They're like, you know, construction paper, whatever they got going on, and then they make the Jesus cares for but you guys don't have to do that.

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My husband's Jesus cares board is just a bunch of post it notes stuck on my Jesus cares board.

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He just wrote down some stuff and stuck it, you know, post it.

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The whole purpose of the Jesus cares board is just to get whatever you're burdened with out in the open. And, you know, acknowledging that hey I can't solve this stuff I can't fix this stuff.

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And instead of just carrying it around with me like in my subconscious, you know where it always is stressing me out, giving me like you know, a heart attack, when I'm, you know, 63 years old, I'm going to go ahead and tell you God that I can't fix this and I'm asking you to help me with it.

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Okay.

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Hopefully that hopefully that demystifies that whole situation. So you guys, dating has changed. That's what this session is about dating has changed Christian dating really is kind of weird.

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There's a lot of weird, you know, rules pseudo rules unspoken rules rules that you know, no one actually knows because they're being made up as we go along.

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When it comes to dating as a Christian. And then of course, for those of you that dated before you were in a serious relationship maybe before you were married, and now you're back on the market.

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Things got crazy out here it's the wild wild west out here now and so it's like whoa, you know, things have really changed since I have been, you know, single.

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So, regardless of what camp you're in this what this session is all about. It's about dating one on one it's about going back to the basics, it's about talking about what is dating, why do we do it, how do we do it well, and then you guys of course can ask questions.

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Cool.

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All right.

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So, um, first of all, little history of dating guys I have a dating book coming out that is not just for women.

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But the first time I'm actually writing a book that actually is for men as well so hopefully you guys will be proud of me for that.

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And, you know, in the book, I talked about the history of dating, dating really wasn't even a word until the turn of the century.

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Obviously we can't find any good information in the Bible about dating because dating didn't exist right dating is something that actually happened if you guys don't know the history behind the word dating.

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It actually came about because of World War One.

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World War One is where dating comes from. Why is that, because women actually joined the workforce.

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A lot of them forced into the workforce because, you know, for the need to make money.

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because a lot of men were actually going to war,

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a lot of young men specifically going to war

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and the factories and all the different places

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that employed men now needed workers.

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And so they were, women were being called out of the homes

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into the workforce, right?

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But a lot of these women,

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they actually weren't earning a paycheck to like,

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you know, because they lived at home and to help,

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you know, whatever, whoever still lived at home to survive.

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They actually were answering the call

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for those open positions that the men no longer had

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because they had gone to war.

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And these women had apartments,

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these women moved to the city,

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they had apartments and these were the working girls,

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so to speak.

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And so unfortunately,

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and this is not gonna be some diatribe on feminism.

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So I don't want you guys to worry about that.

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I just got to my destination.

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Sorry, I'm a little late

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because your friend David Dorman forgot to get me something

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that I needed to make dinner later.

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So I had to stop at the store on my way home.

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Okay, so a woman's work is never done, y'all.

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It just isn't ever done, is it?

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So they, you know, the factory owners,

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the employers, whoever those people were,

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they actually paid women about 50% or less

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of what they paid men.

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And I know that sounds kind of ridiculous

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and you kind of wonder how that could even be possible

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to pay women 50% less for the same jobs,

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but it's a thing, it really happened.

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And it happened because this was the thinking behind that.

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Women are not working to support themselves.

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They're working to supplement an income

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of some male figure in their lives.

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This was the mentality.

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And because it was a supplemental income,

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even though women were doing the same jobs

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for the same hours, they got paid half the pay, all right?

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But what this caused, y'all, is it caused women

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to kind of be at a poverty level

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if they were living in the city.

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And so what else happened is, is that young men,

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the ones that weren't at war for whatever reason,

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would take these women on dates and pay.

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This is where men paying for the meal came from.

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And this was probably where women going out with men

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for a meal because they're hungry came from.

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Don't you think?

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I'm sure a lot of women went out with guys

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that they probably didn't have any kind of interest in

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because of the fact that a girl's gotta eat, right?

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A girl's gotta eat.

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And so that is definitely something that was going on.

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Now, the authorities at the time, you guys,

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back in the early days of dating,

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they did not, they frowned upon this.

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Unsupervised young people going out on dates,

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this was not a popular thing in culture.

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It was looked down upon.

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And the powers that be back then just assumed

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that these girls that were taking these dates

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with these boys were not the right type of girl.

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So if you actually were dating,

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you actually were someone back then

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that people thought had loose morals, okay?

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So that's the history of the word dating.

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That is where dating comes from, okay?

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And then, of course, it got more and more and more popular

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all the way till the 1950s,

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where going steady and dating and all that stuff

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really became very, very popular.

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And then in the 1960s, dating turned into no longer

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the chasteness of courting and all that stuff.

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Then it turned into, as you guys know,

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all of the different multiple partners,

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multiple people, sex before marriage,

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you know, birth control on demand in the late 60s,

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early 70s, abortion, all the crazy, right?

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Slippery slope.

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Definitely didn't get better.

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So before the turn of the century in the World War,

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First World War, the way that men and women met each other

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was through community.

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It was through family.

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It was through church.

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It was through school.

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It was through other civic kinds of places.

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And a man's responsibility to have the approval

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of not just the girl, but also her family was high.

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And it was called courting back then.

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You know, if you were interested in a woman,

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you had to show up at her house,

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you had to get her father and her mother's seal of approval.

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You had to sit in the parlor.

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Every date that you were gonna go on

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was gonna be supervised.

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You were never gonna be alone together

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until you were married.

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That's crazy, right?

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And now you can see like the turn of the century

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and all these young people running around together.

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I'm sure that there were a lot of older people

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that had their hair on fire about all that, right?

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For sure.

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So courting is what,

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but the thing that I want you to see

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is that back then during the courting days,

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the woman and her family.

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family, they were really the ones that held the power, weren't they?

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Because they got to set the terms of courting.

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And marrying for love wasn't really a thing.

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It was more about, do I get along with this person?

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Are we compatible?

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Are they going to be kind?

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Do they, can they, can they upgrade my life socially and economically?

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You guys, some of these agreements between families back then had, you know, they went

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all the way down to how much butter are you going to supply your in-laws with when they

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retire?

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How much butter are you going to give these people for the rest of their lives?

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You know, it was crazy.

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It was crazy stuff.

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Right.

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And so it was more of a financial transaction.

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It was more about who's going to be a good life partner, who is going to once again,

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accelerate your, you know, your lot in life, so to speak.

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And for the gentleman, it was, you know, is she going to be a good homemaker?

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Is she going to make my life easier?

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Is she going to, you know, whatever, as far as, is she going to be a good wife?

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Is she going to be a good mother?

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Is she going to be able to give me children?

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You know, that kind of thing was what was important back during those days of romance,

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so to speak.

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Time for love didn't actually even become a thing until the turn of the century.

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And that's when the young people took control.

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They started dating each other.

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And obviously this is where women started wearing makeup.

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You guys, World War One, all that women started wearing sexy like stockings with the things

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up the back.

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They started wearing makeup and doing all the things.

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Why is that?

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Because now it's a competition.

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Is it a competition of who is going to take me out?

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You know, because the power has shifted now.

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Back in the courting days, the power was on the woman's side and her family's side to

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make a good match.

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And now during the dating days, the power's on the man's side of who is he going to choose?

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Who is he going to ask out?

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Who is he going to pick and spend his money on?

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And then in return, she's going to be pretty and she's going to, you know, she's going

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to look good on his arm and, you know, she's going to, you know, it became more about other

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things besides who's going to make a good partner became more about who am I attracted

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to?

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Do you guys see that?

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It's kind of interesting history, isn't it?

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And it's obviously not gotten better from there.

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And so now where we stand now, I think that the power is still a lot on the man's side

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because you guys, you still have to choose us.

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You still have to, you know, ask us out.

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You still have to be the one that's interested.

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And in order for women to kind of level that player player, that playing field, especially

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under the curse, in order for women to level that playing field, women have become more

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and more and more seductive and manipulative.

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It's just true, isn't it?

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It's true.

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And so that's why we see what we're seeing now.

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And so as men of God, this is dating one-on-one, obviously for godly men, as men of God, it's

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important for you to see how we've gotten to where we are and really how, you know,

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the opposing forces have been behind that whole thing, right?

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The deterioration of family started with these world wars, started with industrialization,

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started with people leaving their families and going far away from them to other, to

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the city, right?

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Power, money, control, all the things, marrying for love, which really, you know, yeah, it's

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great to marry for love.

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But I will tell you statistically arranged marriages do much better because a lot of

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times you're marrying for love, but under the curse, it really isn't love, is it?

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It's lust, isn't it?

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And lust has an expiration date.

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It wears off.

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And then what are you left with?

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You're left with a woman who can't cook, doesn't want to be a mom, right?

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She used to look good, but you don't look so good anymore because I'm going to tell

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you the most beautiful woman with a foul, nasty, argumentative mouth is all of a sudden

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not that attractive, is she?

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Imagine that.

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So these are the things that we're dealing with.

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But as godly men, you have an opportunity to shift back to what I believe that God had

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in mind when he partnered the masculine and feminine together, that we're better together.

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And you have an opportunity to do that now.

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You have an opportunity.

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And what does that mean?

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You have an opportunity to choose, not just based on what society has told you is attractive

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in a woman.

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00:14:59.300 --> 00:14:59.980
Whether you guys know...

233
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:03.380
but or not your attraction, you know, we're like,

234
00:15:03.380 --> 00:15:05.860
oh, I'm not, I'm not attracted to them.

235
00:15:05.860 --> 00:15:07.700
Hey, hey, you want to go out with this girl?

236
00:15:07.700 --> 00:15:09.980
Hey, I want to introduce you to this girl.

237
00:15:09.980 --> 00:15:11.900
Yeah, I'm not attracted to her.

238
00:15:11.900 --> 00:15:13.480
Well, you don't even know her.

239
00:15:14.580 --> 00:15:16.220
You haven't even met her yet.

240
00:15:17.260 --> 00:15:20.140
What you're doing is you're looking at a picture, right?

241
00:15:20.140 --> 00:15:21.860
And so let's go back to the turn of the century

242
00:15:21.860 --> 00:15:23.340
where the women were, you know,

243
00:15:23.340 --> 00:15:25.180
they were primping and they were pulling back

244
00:15:25.180 --> 00:15:26.020
and they were pulling up

245
00:15:26.020 --> 00:15:27.180
and they were doing all the things

246
00:15:27.180 --> 00:15:28.620
and they were wearing the pointy bras

247
00:15:28.620 --> 00:15:31.380
and they were doing all the stuff, you know,

248
00:15:31.380 --> 00:15:33.980
wearing the stockings and what were they doing?

249
00:15:33.980 --> 00:15:37.300
They were trying to basically win.

250
00:15:37.300 --> 00:15:38.620
It was like sports for women.

251
00:15:38.620 --> 00:15:39.820
They were trying to win.

252
00:15:41.660 --> 00:15:43.780
Who can get the most attention from a man?

253
00:15:43.780 --> 00:15:45.940
Who can get his attention?

254
00:15:45.940 --> 00:15:47.980
What, which man did they want to win?

255
00:15:47.980 --> 00:15:51.060
The richest man, right?

256
00:15:51.060 --> 00:15:53.260
Because for women, even all the way back then,

257
00:15:53.260 --> 00:15:55.580
it was, it's about safety and security.

258
00:15:55.580 --> 00:15:57.980
Guys, it is hardwired in women

259
00:15:57.980 --> 00:16:01.540
to want to find safety and security.

260
00:16:01.540 --> 00:16:03.580
You need to write that down.

261
00:16:03.580 --> 00:16:05.540
What drives men and what drives women

262
00:16:05.540 --> 00:16:09.020
in this whole quest for partnership is not the same thing.

263
00:16:10.160 --> 00:16:12.740
It is not the same thing, right?

264
00:16:12.740 --> 00:16:17.260
Women want safety and security mostly.

265
00:16:17.260 --> 00:16:18.540
Mostly they do.

266
00:16:18.540 --> 00:16:20.540
And so what were those women doing back then?

267
00:16:20.540 --> 00:16:25.420
They were trying to be the one that wins the heart

268
00:16:26.260 --> 00:16:28.560
of the man that's going to be the most successful.

269
00:16:29.820 --> 00:16:31.540
He's going to be the most successful in life.

270
00:16:31.540 --> 00:16:33.860
And I want to win his attention.

271
00:16:33.860 --> 00:16:36.100
And so I have to be the prettiest.

272
00:16:36.100 --> 00:16:39.060
I have to be the prettiest for whatever that timeframe was.

273
00:16:39.060 --> 00:16:40.660
Because obviously what was pretty back then

274
00:16:40.660 --> 00:16:42.340
is not what's pretty now.

275
00:16:42.340 --> 00:16:43.700
I have to be the shapeliest.

276
00:16:43.700 --> 00:16:47.420
I have to be the most, you know, demure.

277
00:16:47.420 --> 00:16:49.940
Back then, what captured a man's attention

278
00:16:49.940 --> 00:16:52.580
was a woman who, you know, I hate to say it,

279
00:16:52.580 --> 00:16:55.140
but was a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets.

280
00:16:55.860 --> 00:16:56.700
That's what they wanted.

281
00:16:56.700 --> 00:16:58.980
And really, they still want that a lot.

282
00:16:58.980 --> 00:17:01.100
You know, that's a saying, it's a thing.

283
00:17:01.100 --> 00:17:04.220
Want someone who knows how to carry herself,

284
00:17:04.220 --> 00:17:07.780
you know, has a lot of decorum in public,

285
00:17:07.780 --> 00:17:11.460
but then, you know, is your fantasy somehow

286
00:17:11.460 --> 00:17:13.900
behind closed doors, right?

287
00:17:13.900 --> 00:17:17.700
And there's an element of that, which isn't wrong,

288
00:17:17.700 --> 00:17:19.339
but at the same time, you know,

289
00:17:19.339 --> 00:17:24.060
there's a whole lot that goes into a godly partnership

290
00:17:24.099 --> 00:17:26.579
that that leaves out a whole lot of that.

291
00:17:26.579 --> 00:17:30.740
So women started learning how to manipulate,

292
00:17:30.740 --> 00:17:33.900
how to seduce, how to trick.

293
00:17:35.980 --> 00:17:37.580
Okay, all part of the curse.

294
00:17:38.460 --> 00:17:40.500
And it's still going on today.

295
00:17:40.500 --> 00:17:42.780
And all of those things, I believe,

296
00:17:42.780 --> 00:17:46.500
have infiltrated into Christianity as well.

297
00:17:46.500 --> 00:17:49.220
See a lot of that still going on now,

298
00:17:49.220 --> 00:17:52.940
where men still are being drawn to

299
00:17:52.940 --> 00:17:56.340
what they consider the most sexually attractive

300
00:17:56.340 --> 00:17:59.100
to them person, okay?

301
00:17:59.100 --> 00:18:01.740
They're thinking with the wrong playbook

302
00:18:01.740 --> 00:18:04.420
when it comes to choosing a life partner.

303
00:18:04.420 --> 00:18:05.860
This is a life partner.

304
00:18:05.860 --> 00:18:08.540
This is not a week partner, a month partner,

305
00:18:08.540 --> 00:18:09.940
or even a five-year partner.

306
00:18:09.940 --> 00:18:13.100
This is a life partner, right?

307
00:18:13.100 --> 00:18:15.260
So she's gotta have more than a pretty face.

308
00:18:15.260 --> 00:18:18.100
She's gotta have more than an in-shape body.

309
00:18:19.420 --> 00:18:22.180
These have to be, it has to be a much deeper

310
00:18:22.180 --> 00:18:25.500
and higher level of attraction for your spirit

311
00:18:25.500 --> 00:18:27.620
and your soul and not just your body.

312
00:18:27.620 --> 00:18:28.780
But it's still happening.

313
00:18:28.780 --> 00:18:32.100
And women, even on these dating apps,

314
00:18:32.100 --> 00:18:35.980
women are trying to be, you know,

315
00:18:35.980 --> 00:18:40.740
the prized cow that gets chosen at the fair.

316
00:18:40.740 --> 00:18:42.540
You guys ever swiped through these apps, right?

317
00:18:42.540 --> 00:18:45.700
These women, they have all kinds of filters on their face.

318
00:18:45.700 --> 00:18:47.740
They have all kinds of, you know,

319
00:18:47.740 --> 00:18:48.980
even the Christian apps,

320
00:18:48.980 --> 00:18:52.020
subtly, subtly sexy type of pictures.

321
00:18:52.860 --> 00:18:54.860
These pictures are not overtly sexy,

322
00:18:54.860 --> 00:18:58.660
but, you know, it's meant to attract you

323
00:18:58.660 --> 00:19:00.940
to those very superficial qualities.

324
00:19:00.940 --> 00:19:01.780
Am I wrong?

325
00:19:03.140 --> 00:19:05.900
And we call it putting our best foot forward.

326
00:19:05.900 --> 00:19:07.780
And no one wants to look like a scrub.

327
00:19:07.780 --> 00:19:10.140
So of course, yes, that's fine.

328
00:19:10.140 --> 00:19:13.340
But at the same time, what's our motivations for that?

329
00:19:13.340 --> 00:19:15.820
And let me ask you this question.

330
00:19:15.820 --> 00:19:19.580
Do you believe that there's a supernatural element to this?

331
00:19:19.580 --> 00:19:24.580
Your flesh choosing someone else's flesh

332
00:19:25.300 --> 00:19:28.820
that you find appealing right now where you are in life.

333
00:19:30.100 --> 00:19:31.300
That's not a good idea.

334
00:19:32.220 --> 00:19:33.260
It's not a good idea.

335
00:19:33.260 --> 00:19:36.140
So first and foremost, for Dating 101, for godly men,

336
00:19:36.140 --> 00:19:38.140
for Christian men, for Christ-following men,

337
00:19:38.140 --> 00:19:42.500
is you have to allow Holy Spirit to help you.

338
00:19:43.900 --> 00:19:45.820
You have to let Holy Spirit help you.

339
00:19:45.820 --> 00:19:48.500
You have to ask Holy Spirit to help you.

340
00:19:48.500 --> 00:19:50.340
If you guys are on the apps, we're gonna have,

341
00:19:50.340 --> 00:19:51.860
you guys are in phase two

342
00:19:51.860 --> 00:19:53.740
because you graduated from HeartWork.

343
00:19:53.740 --> 00:19:55.340
So we're starting with Dating 101,

344
00:19:55.340 --> 00:19:58.420
but we're gonna have online dating next Monday night.

345
00:19:58.420 --> 00:20:00.300
We're gonna have the Divine Masculine.

346
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:01.560
We're gonna talk about what that looks like

347
00:20:01.560 --> 00:20:05.200
to be divinely masculine in this age, 2024.

348
00:20:05.200 --> 00:20:08.120
And so you'll have lots of opportunity

349
00:20:08.120 --> 00:20:11.120
to kind of walk this stuff out, right?

350
00:20:11.120 --> 00:20:12.360
But if you're already on the apps

351
00:20:12.360 --> 00:20:15.220
and that's how you're trying to meet people,

352
00:20:15.220 --> 00:20:19.400
it's important that you are asking Holy Spirit for help

353
00:20:19.400 --> 00:20:21.280
before you get on the app.

354
00:20:21.280 --> 00:20:24.060
Even asking Holy Spirit which app to get on.

355
00:20:25.200 --> 00:20:27.720
There's lots of apps, as you know.

356
00:20:28.720 --> 00:20:31.400
But are you being divinely led in this area of your life?

357
00:20:31.400 --> 00:20:33.120
Or are you approaching it

358
00:20:33.120 --> 00:20:37.360
from a totally humanistic type of way?

359
00:20:37.360 --> 00:20:38.840
You know, boy meets girl.

360
00:20:38.840 --> 00:20:40.120
You know, it happens all the time.

361
00:20:40.120 --> 00:20:41.640
This is just a vehicle to do it.

362
00:20:41.640 --> 00:20:43.520
This is technology, so I'm just gonna do it.

363
00:20:43.520 --> 00:20:48.520
No, you need to treat this area of your life

364
00:20:48.520 --> 00:20:51.520
with the importance that it has.

365
00:20:51.520 --> 00:20:53.720
This is a make it or break it relationship.

366
00:20:54.560 --> 00:20:56.640
This is a relationship that's either gonna make you

367
00:20:56.720 --> 00:20:58.860
or break you as a man.

368
00:21:00.320 --> 00:21:05.080
And some of you have already been to that rodeo.

369
00:21:05.080 --> 00:21:06.760
You have that T-shirt and that mug

370
00:21:06.760 --> 00:21:09.780
and you can attest that what I'm saying is true, right?

371
00:21:12.720 --> 00:21:15.120
So you don't just want, and I don't believe in the one.

372
00:21:15.120 --> 00:21:17.120
There's no such thing as the one.

373
00:21:17.120 --> 00:21:22.120
But there is the one for the season

374
00:21:22.160 --> 00:21:23.920
that you're meeting her in.

375
00:21:23.920 --> 00:21:27.520
Someone who can grow with you throughout the other seasons.

376
00:21:27.520 --> 00:21:29.520
Now, if you guys would wait and, you know,

377
00:21:29.520 --> 00:21:30.880
decide that you're not gonna date

378
00:21:30.880 --> 00:21:32.300
and you just don't wanna do this right now,

379
00:21:32.300 --> 00:21:34.320
even though God's inviting you,

380
00:21:34.320 --> 00:21:36.280
he's inviting you to find your wife.

381
00:21:36.280 --> 00:21:37.820
That's why you're all here.

382
00:21:37.820 --> 00:21:41.280
If you would put this on pause, just like Matthew said,

383
00:21:41.280 --> 00:21:42.840
he said, hey, I tried to do the hard work,

384
00:21:42.840 --> 00:21:44.720
but I fell off several times.

385
00:21:44.720 --> 00:21:47.360
But an invitation continues to come.

386
00:21:47.360 --> 00:21:50.560
So regardless of when you accept that invitation,

387
00:21:50.560 --> 00:21:53.480
there's going to be a different partner.

388
00:21:53.480 --> 00:21:54.580
Does that make sense?

389
00:21:55.600 --> 00:21:56.740
Five years from now,

390
00:21:56.740 --> 00:21:58.480
there could be a partner that you can meet now.

391
00:21:58.480 --> 00:22:01.000
Five years from now, there could be a different partner.

392
00:22:01.000 --> 00:22:03.680
You know, when David and I met, he was my next door neighbor.

393
00:22:03.680 --> 00:22:07.260
I almost did not re-sign that lease.

394
00:22:07.260 --> 00:22:09.600
And had I not, I would have moved out a month

395
00:22:09.600 --> 00:22:10.600
before he moved in.

396
00:22:12.700 --> 00:22:15.320
And even though God aligned our paths,

397
00:22:15.320 --> 00:22:17.520
there were several times when we were just like,

398
00:22:17.520 --> 00:22:19.560
yeah, no, it's not the right timing.

399
00:22:19.560 --> 00:22:21.380
We were both going through a lot in our lives,

400
00:22:21.380 --> 00:22:23.080
divorces, different things.

401
00:22:23.680 --> 00:22:25.640
And we could have decided it was too hard.

402
00:22:25.640 --> 00:22:27.020
And guess what?

403
00:22:27.020 --> 00:22:30.340
I believe that we still would have ended up,

404
00:22:30.340 --> 00:22:32.800
if we surrendered to God, gave him the pen,

405
00:22:32.800 --> 00:22:34.220
let him write the love story,

406
00:22:34.220 --> 00:22:36.360
I believe we would still have been partnered

407
00:22:36.360 --> 00:22:38.480
with someone who could go forward with us,

408
00:22:38.480 --> 00:22:39.920
even if it wasn't each other.

409
00:22:40.960 --> 00:22:43.160
Now I know that that doesn't sound romantic.

410
00:22:45.360 --> 00:22:48.060
And I want to assure you, our relationship is very romantic.

411
00:22:48.060 --> 00:22:50.620
We're very much in love 17 years in.

412
00:22:50.620 --> 00:22:52.400
We are great partners for each other.

413
00:22:52.760 --> 00:22:55.460
We've really helped each other grow in so many ways,

414
00:22:55.460 --> 00:22:57.680
but he's not the one.

415
00:22:59.360 --> 00:23:04.360
He's one of the ones, but he's not the one.

416
00:23:04.360 --> 00:23:06.120
And so if you have avoidant attachment,

417
00:23:06.120 --> 00:23:07.460
and also you guys, we're going to cover

418
00:23:07.460 --> 00:23:11.680
more attachment theory here in phase two for y'all as well.

419
00:23:11.680 --> 00:23:13.920
But if you have avoidant attachment,

420
00:23:13.920 --> 00:23:16.440
no woman is ever going to be the one.

421
00:23:16.440 --> 00:23:18.840
And you're going to fully believe there is the one,

422
00:23:18.840 --> 00:23:22.160
and you're going to continue to look for the one.

423
00:23:22.840 --> 00:23:25.360
And all you're going to find is flawed women.

424
00:23:26.280 --> 00:23:28.080
And at first you might get really excited about them

425
00:23:28.080 --> 00:23:30.640
until you see the flaws that you're absolutely looking for

426
00:23:30.640 --> 00:23:32.180
because of your avoidance.

427
00:23:34.280 --> 00:23:35.920
Does that make sense to everyone?

428
00:23:36.960 --> 00:23:40.400
And then you'll be off to the races to find the next woman,

429
00:23:40.400 --> 00:23:42.760
who you'll be excited about for a brief moment

430
00:23:42.760 --> 00:23:47.760
until you discover that she too is a human that has flaws.

431
00:23:48.120 --> 00:23:50.960
And then lather, rinse, repeat.

432
00:23:50.960 --> 00:23:54.560
And you anxious guys, you guys will find someone,

433
00:23:54.560 --> 00:23:56.200
you'll get excited about them,

434
00:23:56.200 --> 00:23:57.480
you will love bomb them,

435
00:23:57.480 --> 00:24:01.200
meaning that you will become very needy and clingy.

436
00:24:01.200 --> 00:24:03.400
You will try to rush the relationship.

437
00:24:03.400 --> 00:24:07.080
You will try to go from zero to a hundred miles an hour

438
00:24:07.080 --> 00:24:11.120
in commitment and in intensity.

439
00:24:11.120 --> 00:24:13.240
And she'll either be scared away,

440
00:24:13.280 --> 00:24:15.120
and she'll either be scared away,

441
00:24:15.120 --> 00:24:19.720
or she will be also an anxious attachment.

442
00:24:19.720 --> 00:24:22.720
And then you guys will start something

443
00:24:22.720 --> 00:24:25.360
that is going to look like a crazy merry-go-round.

444
00:24:29.600 --> 00:24:33.000
Or we can do our heart work,

445
00:24:33.000 --> 00:24:35.840
and we can take our attachment styles

446
00:24:35.840 --> 00:24:37.640
and become more and more secure.

447
00:24:37.640 --> 00:24:39.200
Now, are you going to become a secure attach

448
00:24:39.200 --> 00:24:40.160
if you're not one?

449
00:24:40.160 --> 00:24:41.000
No, you're not,

450
00:24:41.000 --> 00:24:45.320
but you're going to become your version of secure attached,

451
00:24:45.320 --> 00:24:47.000
and you're not going to give in

452
00:24:47.000 --> 00:24:50.760
to your regular repertoire that you do

453
00:24:50.760 --> 00:24:53.840
when you are getting in relationship with someone.

454
00:24:53.840 --> 00:24:56.560
You're gonna recognize your patterns,

455
00:24:56.560 --> 00:24:58.600
and you're not gonna give into them.

456
00:24:58.600 --> 00:24:59.440
Cool?

457
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:01.000
All right.

458
00:25:01.000 --> 00:25:02.000
Okay.

459
00:25:02.000 --> 00:25:05.000
So that's kind of the intro to what we're doing right now.

460
00:25:05.000 --> 00:25:06.000
History of dating.

461
00:25:06.000 --> 00:25:07.000
Where did it come from?

462
00:25:07.000 --> 00:25:08.080
Where are we now?

463
00:25:08.080 --> 00:25:10.080
We have to flip the script.

464
00:25:10.080 --> 00:25:11.080
It's important.

465
00:25:11.080 --> 00:25:15.900
And guys, as the men, you have to lead this charge.

466
00:25:15.900 --> 00:25:17.720
You have to lead it.

467
00:25:17.720 --> 00:25:24.840
We'll specifically talk about what that looks like in online, in the dating app or the online

468
00:25:24.840 --> 00:25:27.480
dating class that you guys are going to have next week.

469
00:25:27.960 --> 00:25:33.680
But right now, let's just look at what it looks like in person.

470
00:25:33.680 --> 00:25:39.400
You have to be the one who makes things happen.

471
00:25:39.400 --> 00:25:42.720
Men make things happen.

472
00:25:42.720 --> 00:25:43.800
They do.

473
00:25:43.800 --> 00:25:46.360
And we'll talk more about that in Divine Masculine.

474
00:25:46.360 --> 00:25:50.440
But men are the ones that are supposed to be the movement makers.

475
00:25:50.440 --> 00:25:52.840
God created you to be the movement makers.

476
00:25:52.840 --> 00:25:54.960
He created you to be originators.

477
00:25:54.960 --> 00:25:55.960
Okay?

478
00:25:55.960 --> 00:25:58.720
He created you to be intentional.

479
00:25:58.720 --> 00:26:03.120
He created you to be, you know, a lot of people are like, does the man have to make the first

480
00:26:03.120 --> 00:26:06.160
move as far as like, can I drop the hanky?

481
00:26:06.160 --> 00:26:08.040
That's a popular saying nowadays.

482
00:26:08.040 --> 00:26:09.440
Can I drop the hanky?

483
00:26:09.440 --> 00:26:12.520
Can I let a guy know that I like him?

484
00:26:12.520 --> 00:26:25.120
Yes, but, but I think that it's important that a man be intentional, right?

485
00:26:25.120 --> 00:26:30.200
Women can let you know that they're open to getting to know you more.

486
00:26:30.200 --> 00:26:34.680
Raise your hand if you think that you're clueless about whether or not a woman likes you, that

487
00:26:34.680 --> 00:26:37.560
you're not really sure.

488
00:26:37.560 --> 00:26:39.360
Kind of talk yourself out of it.

489
00:26:39.360 --> 00:26:40.360
Okay.

490
00:26:40.360 --> 00:26:43.520
Maybe we should talk about that for a second.

491
00:26:43.520 --> 00:26:44.520
All right.

492
00:26:44.520 --> 00:26:48.760
How many of you have, have thought wrong about a woman liking you before?

493
00:26:48.760 --> 00:26:55.480
You thought she liked you and then you kind of like, we're like, okay, yeah, she likes

494
00:26:55.480 --> 00:26:56.480
me.

495
00:26:56.480 --> 00:26:59.360
And then you found out later that she's just being friendly.

496
00:26:59.360 --> 00:27:02.080
She doesn't like you like that.

497
00:27:02.080 --> 00:27:04.480
Okay.

498
00:27:04.480 --> 00:27:07.440
And so you guys, it's a very small group of guys.

499
00:27:07.440 --> 00:27:09.640
So unmute, please talk, talk back to me.

500
00:27:09.640 --> 00:27:11.460
This is a two sided conversation.

501
00:27:11.460 --> 00:27:20.940
Do you feel like that keeps you from, you know, trying to ask a woman to spend time

502
00:27:20.940 --> 00:27:21.940
with you?

503
00:27:21.940 --> 00:27:22.940
No.

504
00:27:22.940 --> 00:27:23.940
No.

505
00:27:23.940 --> 00:27:30.620
Do you feel like that causes anxiety in the process of you asking a woman to go on a date?

506
00:27:30.620 --> 00:27:31.620
No.

507
00:27:31.620 --> 00:27:32.620
No.

508
00:27:32.620 --> 00:27:33.620
No.

509
00:27:33.620 --> 00:27:34.620
I don't think so.

510
00:27:34.620 --> 00:27:35.620
I can think of other facts.

511
00:27:35.620 --> 00:27:36.620
You guys, can you hear me?

512
00:27:36.620 --> 00:27:37.620
Yes.

513
00:27:37.620 --> 00:27:38.620
Yeah.

514
00:27:38.620 --> 00:27:39.620
Okay.

515
00:27:39.620 --> 00:27:40.620
Good.

516
00:27:40.780 --> 00:27:41.780
Good.

517
00:27:41.780 --> 00:27:42.780
You guys all sound really far away.

518
00:27:42.780 --> 00:27:43.780
Let me see.

519
00:27:43.780 --> 00:27:44.780
Yeah.

520
00:27:44.780 --> 00:27:45.780
All right.

521
00:27:45.780 --> 00:27:50.620
So you're saying you, you have, you have guessed wrong in the past, but you don't feel like

522
00:27:50.620 --> 00:27:52.780
it's impaired your ability to do it.

523
00:27:52.780 --> 00:27:53.780
Nope.

524
00:27:53.780 --> 00:27:54.780
No.

525
00:27:54.780 --> 00:27:55.780
No.

526
00:27:55.780 --> 00:27:56.780
That's good.

527
00:27:56.780 --> 00:27:57.780
That's good.

528
00:27:57.780 --> 00:27:59.180
All right.

529
00:27:59.180 --> 00:28:05.980
It does make me pause maybe a half a second more, you know, you know, yeah.

530
00:28:05.980 --> 00:28:08.820
A half a second, a half a second more.

531
00:28:08.820 --> 00:28:09.820
I'm an extrovert.

532
00:28:10.020 --> 00:28:11.020
I'm an extrovert.

533
00:28:11.020 --> 00:28:12.020
Okay.

534
00:28:12.020 --> 00:28:15.940
Maybe, maybe a one, maybe a whole second, you know, you know, I, you know, I want to

535
00:28:15.940 --> 00:28:21.940
live a life where I take all the shots that I don't want to not take a shot and regret

536
00:28:21.940 --> 00:28:22.940
it.

537
00:28:22.940 --> 00:28:23.940
Okay.

538
00:28:23.940 --> 00:28:24.940
And so, yeah.

539
00:28:24.940 --> 00:28:25.940
That's good.

540
00:28:25.940 --> 00:28:26.940
There's some other factors of me.

541
00:28:26.940 --> 00:28:37.940
Of course, it's a long story.

542
00:28:37.940 --> 00:28:38.940
Jackie you disappeared.

543
00:28:39.060 --> 00:28:40.060
We just lost her.

544
00:28:40.060 --> 00:28:41.060
Lost her.

545
00:28:41.060 --> 00:28:42.060
Are you serious?

546
00:28:42.060 --> 00:28:43.060
We're just too hard.

547
00:28:43.060 --> 00:28:44.060
We're just too hopeless.

548
00:28:44.060 --> 00:28:45.060
She just gave up on us.

549
00:28:45.060 --> 00:28:46.060
Yeah.

550
00:28:46.060 --> 00:28:47.060
Well, I mean, it's a great question, right?

551
00:28:47.060 --> 00:28:48.060
Like, I mean, so I think some women just want attention, right.

552
00:28:48.060 --> 00:28:49.060
You know, like, or, you know, I don't know.

553
00:28:49.060 --> 00:28:50.060
Yeah.

554
00:28:50.060 --> 00:28:51.060
Right.

555
00:28:51.060 --> 00:28:52.060
I've had that where I had a woman just kind of take interest in me.

556
00:28:52.060 --> 00:28:53.060
But then when I was serious coming back to her, I was like, okay, I'm going to take a

557
00:28:53.060 --> 00:28:54.060
shot.

558
00:28:54.060 --> 00:28:55.060
I'm going to take a shot.

559
00:28:55.060 --> 00:28:56.060
I'm going to take a shot.

560
00:28:56.060 --> 00:28:57.060
I'm going to take a shot.

561
00:28:57.060 --> 00:28:58.060
I'm going to take a shot.

562
00:28:58.060 --> 00:28:59.060
I'm going to take a shot.

563
00:28:59.060 --> 00:29:00.060
I'm going to take a shot.

564
00:29:00.860 --> 00:29:16.860
want attention or the idea of having that person around as a friend or something, but,

565
00:29:16.860 --> 00:29:20.440
okay, guys, technical difficulties, but I'm back.

566
00:29:20.440 --> 00:29:21.440
All right.

567
00:29:21.440 --> 00:29:22.440
I'm David Dorman now.

568
00:29:22.440 --> 00:29:24.160
I'm David Dorman now, but I'm still here.

569
00:29:24.160 --> 00:29:25.160
Okay.

570
00:29:25.160 --> 00:29:26.160
All right.

571
00:29:26.160 --> 00:29:27.160
Okay.

572
00:29:27.160 --> 00:29:28.160
So Paul, what were you saying?

573
00:29:28.160 --> 00:29:32.360
Well, we were, me and Mike were just talking how that's happened before and we were just

574
00:29:32.360 --> 00:29:37.880
saying we just, you know, the women seemed interested, but we just kind of figured I,

575
00:29:37.880 --> 00:29:43.640
anyway, I just, they just liked the idea of having me around a guy friend or lots of times

576
00:29:43.640 --> 00:29:49.640
it may be a younger woman, but then when you respond, they're like, uh, you know, so.

577
00:29:49.640 --> 00:29:50.640
Okay.

578
00:29:50.640 --> 00:29:56.320
So here's, you guys, here's how you're going to stay out of the friend zone, all right?

579
00:29:56.320 --> 00:29:57.720
Especially as Christian men.

580
00:29:57.720 --> 00:29:59.440
This is how you're going to stay out of the friend zone.

581
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:02.540
Don't be a friend.

582
00:30:04.200 --> 00:30:06.640
That's how you're gonna stay out of the friend zone, okay?

583
00:30:06.640 --> 00:30:11.640
And let me explain what I mean by that, okay?

584
00:30:13.840 --> 00:30:17.880
Oftentimes, when a guy's interested in a woman,

585
00:30:17.880 --> 00:30:20.680
especially within Christian community,

586
00:30:20.680 --> 00:30:23.920
you will hang around way too much as a friend

587
00:30:23.920 --> 00:30:27.760
before asking her to simply date you,

588
00:30:27.760 --> 00:30:30.040
go on a date with you, okay?

589
00:30:30.040 --> 00:30:33.880
And what happens then is a woman sees you as a friend.

590
00:30:33.880 --> 00:30:37.420
You guys, the kiss of death for a man,

591
00:30:37.420 --> 00:30:39.680
whether you're a Christian man or not a Christian man,

592
00:30:39.680 --> 00:30:41.640
with women is passivity.

593
00:30:41.640 --> 00:30:45.480
Women do not like passive men.

594
00:30:46.560 --> 00:30:47.600
We don't.

595
00:30:47.600 --> 00:30:50.860
This is why we still date toxic alpha men,

596
00:30:50.860 --> 00:30:54.360
because at least they're not passive, right?

597
00:30:54.360 --> 00:30:55.920
We don't like passive men.

598
00:30:55.920 --> 00:30:59.640
And the only women that are interested, please hear me,

599
00:30:59.640 --> 00:31:01.360
the only women that are interested in men

600
00:31:01.360 --> 00:31:02.920
that kind of don't know what they want,

601
00:31:02.920 --> 00:31:04.680
take a long time to make up their mind,

602
00:31:04.680 --> 00:31:07.080
men that are willing for the woman

603
00:31:07.080 --> 00:31:09.320
to sort of drive the bus kind of thing,

604
00:31:09.320 --> 00:31:10.840
drive things forward,

605
00:31:10.840 --> 00:31:13.980
are women who are going to wear the pants

606
00:31:13.980 --> 00:31:15.840
in your relationship.

607
00:31:15.840 --> 00:31:18.240
They are going to be the person in charge.

608
00:31:18.240 --> 00:31:20.220
And they wanna be with a man,

609
00:31:20.220 --> 00:31:22.560
but they wanna be with a man they can control.

610
00:31:23.560 --> 00:31:25.840
And that should scare all y'all.

611
00:31:27.160 --> 00:31:28.680
You don't wanna be with a woman

612
00:31:28.680 --> 00:31:32.640
who is not comfortable with your masculinity,

613
00:31:32.640 --> 00:31:34.720
who wants you to be someone

614
00:31:34.720 --> 00:31:37.720
who just does what they're told, right?

615
00:31:37.720 --> 00:31:39.560
Someone who doesn't have an opinion,

616
00:31:39.560 --> 00:31:41.320
someone who doesn't really have any direction,

617
00:31:41.320 --> 00:31:44.440
and someone who's just gonna be there to be her companion

618
00:31:44.440 --> 00:31:47.420
while she is the person who's in charge.

619
00:31:49.680 --> 00:31:50.840
Right?

620
00:31:50.840 --> 00:31:52.160
You don't want that.

621
00:31:52.760 --> 00:31:53.800
And a lot of damaged women are like that.

622
00:31:53.800 --> 00:31:55.680
You guys, some of the sweetest women,

623
00:31:55.680 --> 00:31:58.840
some of the bless your heart, sweetest women

624
00:31:58.840 --> 00:32:01.180
are covert controllers.

625
00:32:03.200 --> 00:32:04.200
Okay?

626
00:32:04.200 --> 00:32:06.780
And the way that you can see that pretty quickly

627
00:32:06.780 --> 00:32:08.300
is that if you're in conversation,

628
00:32:08.300 --> 00:32:10.320
and here, please write this down.

629
00:32:10.320 --> 00:32:11.680
She can't take a joke.

630
00:32:12.560 --> 00:32:15.160
She gets all up in arms.

631
00:32:15.160 --> 00:32:18.240
She gets offended really easily, super offended.

632
00:32:18.240 --> 00:32:21.080
Now, if you're being crude and rude, that's one thing.

633
00:32:21.080 --> 00:32:23.640
But if you're just being funny, right?

634
00:32:23.640 --> 00:32:26.560
Men like a woman with a sense of humor, you know?

635
00:32:26.560 --> 00:32:29.000
And if she takes things too seriously all the time,

636
00:32:29.000 --> 00:32:29.840
if she gets offended,

637
00:32:29.840 --> 00:32:32.900
gets her panties in the water all the time, you know?

638
00:32:32.900 --> 00:32:36.920
If she uses the phrase, we have to talk a lot,

639
00:32:36.920 --> 00:32:38.920
especially at the beginning,

640
00:32:38.920 --> 00:32:41.560
and then she goes on to tell you about, you know,

641
00:32:41.560 --> 00:32:43.080
all the things that you're doing

642
00:32:43.080 --> 00:32:45.220
that are either triggering her

643
00:32:45.220 --> 00:32:49.080
or, you know, things that are making her uncomfortable.

644
00:32:49.080 --> 00:32:50.920
And, you know, you've done your hard work

645
00:32:51.760 --> 00:32:55.320
and no one else in your life tells you that, right?

646
00:32:55.320 --> 00:32:56.800
So if other people in your life tell you,

647
00:32:56.800 --> 00:32:58.240
hey, you don't have a filter.

648
00:32:58.240 --> 00:32:59.480
Hey, you're inappropriate.

649
00:32:59.480 --> 00:33:00.960
Hey, you know, you need to chill out.

650
00:33:00.960 --> 00:33:02.080
That's one thing.

651
00:33:02.080 --> 00:33:05.280
But if this just only happens to you in the dating realm,

652
00:33:05.280 --> 00:33:07.780
that means that that woman has an offended heart.

653
00:33:08.880 --> 00:33:09.760
She does.

654
00:33:09.760 --> 00:33:13.820
And she is looking for a very vanilla man.

655
00:33:14.700 --> 00:33:17.400
Vanilla, the vanilla ice cream flavor.

656
00:33:17.400 --> 00:33:20.560
She's looking for a man who is not gonna do anything.

657
00:33:21.200 --> 00:33:22.040
Manly.

658
00:33:22.920 --> 00:33:23.960
That scares her.

659
00:33:26.600 --> 00:33:27.480
Okay?

660
00:33:27.480 --> 00:33:29.120
No manliness allowed.

661
00:33:31.560 --> 00:33:35.880
So that is the only type of woman who likes a passive man.

662
00:33:35.880 --> 00:33:39.480
All the rest of us, we want our men to be men.

663
00:33:41.200 --> 00:33:42.440
Now, does that mean you have to go out

664
00:33:42.440 --> 00:33:43.440
and shoot and kill things?

665
00:33:43.440 --> 00:33:44.760
No, I'm not interested in that.

666
00:33:44.760 --> 00:33:46.200
In fact, my brother told me last night

667
00:33:46.200 --> 00:33:47.920
that he ate a coyote.

668
00:33:47.920 --> 00:33:48.920
My brother.

669
00:33:48.920 --> 00:33:50.000
What?

670
00:33:50.360 --> 00:33:52.360
He told me that he ate a coyote.

671
00:33:52.360 --> 00:33:53.200
Like all of it.

672
00:33:53.200 --> 00:33:54.920
Because we're, you know, we're Native Americans.

673
00:33:54.920 --> 00:33:56.040
So he's like, I ate all of it.

674
00:33:56.040 --> 00:33:57.120
I ate all the coyote.

675
00:33:57.120 --> 00:33:57.960
I ate its organs.

676
00:33:57.960 --> 00:33:58.800
I ate its eyeballs.

677
00:33:58.800 --> 00:33:59.800
I'm like, okay, stop.

678
00:34:00.840 --> 00:34:01.680
I'm good.

679
00:34:01.680 --> 00:34:02.500
All right.

680
00:34:02.500 --> 00:34:06.080
I don't need my man to kill my food.

681
00:34:06.080 --> 00:34:08.120
I will go to the grocery store.

682
00:34:08.120 --> 00:34:10.120
In fact, I don't, you know,

683
00:34:10.120 --> 00:34:11.639
if you guys are hunters, that's great.

684
00:34:11.639 --> 00:34:13.920
But I don't even, I pass on deer meat even.

685
00:34:13.920 --> 00:34:14.800
It's gamey to me.

686
00:34:14.800 --> 00:34:16.400
I'm not interested in it.

687
00:34:16.400 --> 00:34:19.719
And so most women don't need a man,

688
00:34:19.920 --> 00:34:21.639
don't need a man that hunts.

689
00:34:21.639 --> 00:34:23.320
They'd be open to a man that hunts.

690
00:34:23.320 --> 00:34:25.960
But when you think of a manly man,

691
00:34:25.960 --> 00:34:27.480
you know, please don't,

692
00:34:27.480 --> 00:34:28.480
please don't think that.

693
00:34:28.480 --> 00:34:32.280
And please don't think that we need you to be a guy that,

694
00:34:32.280 --> 00:34:34.199
you know, loves all the sports.

695
00:34:35.040 --> 00:34:36.040
Okay.

696
00:34:36.040 --> 00:34:38.679
You know, my husband likes to play golf.

697
00:34:38.679 --> 00:34:41.360
He very rarely does because he's very busy.

698
00:34:41.360 --> 00:34:42.920
But besides college football,

699
00:34:42.920 --> 00:34:47.080
because he graduated from the Ohio State University,

700
00:34:47.719 --> 00:34:50.280
well, he doesn't watch anything.

701
00:34:50.280 --> 00:34:51.639
He doesn't watch any pro sports,

702
00:34:51.639 --> 00:34:54.080
baseball, football, hockey, soccer.

703
00:34:54.080 --> 00:34:55.679
He just watches college football.

704
00:34:55.679 --> 00:34:56.880
That's it.

705
00:34:56.880 --> 00:35:00.080
So a woman is not going to, you know, check.

706
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.720
you or give you a demerit or check you off the masculine list if you're not a guy who

707
00:35:04.720 --> 00:35:10.080
is going to sit in the barco lounger with a beer and watch football, okay? But what are we going

708
00:35:10.080 --> 00:35:16.400
to be looking for in order to say yes to your invitation to a date? Well, one thing, are you

709
00:35:16.400 --> 00:35:20.480
a man who knows what you want? Are you going to step up to us and be like, hey, I'd like to take

710
00:35:20.480 --> 00:35:26.000
you on a date? Hey, I'd like to get to know you. Hey, I'd like to take you to coffee or dinner.

711
00:35:26.000 --> 00:35:32.320
Are you open to that? I mean, that right there is going to score you major points. Look,

712
00:35:32.320 --> 00:35:37.920
even if she wasn't immediately interested in you now, she's like, oh, okay.

713
00:35:40.240 --> 00:35:46.480
This guy, this guy knows that he likes me. He knows that he likes what he sees and he wants to

714
00:35:46.480 --> 00:35:52.960
get to know me better. That's very attractive in a woman. Okay. But Mike, if you've known her

715
00:35:52.960 --> 00:35:59.280
in community, all right, for too long, and you've been in the friend zone of that community where,

716
00:35:59.280 --> 00:36:03.680
you know, you're hanging out in groups together and all the things, then you have to read the

717
00:36:03.680 --> 00:36:09.520
signs of whether or not she actually wants that invitation. And this is why this is how men get

718
00:36:09.520 --> 00:36:16.240
friend zoned because you're hanging out in community and, you know, she thinks that she

719
00:36:16.240 --> 00:36:20.080
knows what you're like from that community. She's never spent any one-on-one time with you.

720
00:36:20.560 --> 00:36:28.000
And because of that, a lot of times it's actually a turnoff, not a turn on. Okay. This is why a lot

721
00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:32.800
of guys get shot down in their own church spiritual communities when they ask someone out.

722
00:36:34.320 --> 00:36:39.600
So don't be a friend. Don't be there for her. Don't be there in the prayer line with her.

723
00:36:40.160 --> 00:36:44.640
Don't, don't do any of that stuff. And if you feel like she's already friend zoned, you

724
00:36:44.640 --> 00:36:50.320
disappear for a little while from her, not from church, but, you know, kind of like, don't seek

725
00:36:50.320 --> 00:36:55.360
her out. Don't be that person, you know, that's always kind of like making a beeline for her.

726
00:36:55.360 --> 00:37:00.480
Don't do that. Look, this is not a game, not asking you to play a head game, but I'm asking you

727
00:37:00.480 --> 00:37:04.320
to give her a moment to reframe what she thinks about you.

728
00:37:07.040 --> 00:37:11.280
Okay. Got to give her a moment to reframe what she thinks about you.

729
00:37:11.840 --> 00:37:15.200
You're not giving her the cold shoulder, not playing head games. You're not ignoring her,

730
00:37:15.760 --> 00:37:21.920
but you're also not like a little, like a, like a little, uh, um, golden retriever.

731
00:37:24.240 --> 00:37:31.280
Right. Right. Women, women don't want to marry a golden retriever. We like them. We want them

732
00:37:31.280 --> 00:37:38.160
as dogs. They're sweet. They're always there. You know, they're always happy to see us. That's great.

733
00:37:38.160 --> 00:37:46.720
Women want to marry, you know, men who have more, they hold themselves in a different posture than

734
00:37:46.720 --> 00:37:53.360
that. Okay. So, um, in spiritual community, you guys, it's really hard. I know that it's really

735
00:37:53.360 --> 00:38:01.840
hard. So here are some of the signs in a group that she is interested in you. All right. If she

736
00:38:01.920 --> 00:38:06.320
seeks you out and not to talk about her last date that went wrong.

737
00:38:09.680 --> 00:38:15.680
Okay. Not to give, not to ask you for advice, not to ask you to help her move something in her house,

738
00:38:15.680 --> 00:38:22.400
not to ask you to look at her car that's broke down. Okay. She seeks you out just to say hi,

739
00:38:22.400 --> 00:38:29.680
just to talk to you. If she seems a little, you know, like not shy or bashful, but a little bit

740
00:38:29.680 --> 00:38:38.080
like, you know, um, that's the real, the word back in the old days would be coquettish. Right.

741
00:38:38.080 --> 00:38:41.520
If she seems just a little, when she seeks you out, if she seems like a little,

742
00:38:42.160 --> 00:38:47.520
you know, um, unsure of herself in some ways, you know, if she touches you a lot,

743
00:38:49.200 --> 00:38:53.280
you know, when she's talking to you, I mean, that's obvious flirtation when she touches you a

744
00:38:53.280 --> 00:38:59.360
lot, unless you're her BFF, don't be her BFF because she's going to do all these same things

745
00:38:59.360 --> 00:39:04.960
with her, you know, her, you know, boy BFF too. This is why you guys got to stay out of that

746
00:39:04.960 --> 00:39:12.320
friend zone by not putting yourself in it in the first place. Okay. If you like a woman in your,

747
00:39:12.320 --> 00:39:18.880
within your spiritual community, do not hang out with her in a group nonstop. Don't do it.

748
00:39:19.840 --> 00:39:28.720
Okay. Ask her to do one-on-one like almost immediately. All right. And then if she says,

749
00:39:28.720 --> 00:39:34.960
no, she's not interested. That's fine. Do you respect her? No. And she might just need some

750
00:39:34.960 --> 00:39:41.120
time to get to see you in action, just within, within that community to see whether or not

751
00:39:41.120 --> 00:39:45.840
you're safe to see whether or not she's attracted to you. I have several success stories that

752
00:39:45.840 --> 00:39:50.400
happened that way. You know, the woman was immediately like, no, I'm not interested. But

753
00:39:50.400 --> 00:39:57.200
then as she saw that man within that spiritual community, you know, saw how he served, you know,

754
00:39:57.200 --> 00:39:59.760
he wasn't doing any of it to impress her. It was just being himself.

755
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.160
but saw how he served others and loved others and prayed for others and did those things,

756
00:40:04.160 --> 00:40:08.640
all those things became very attractive to her. But guess what? He wasn't sitting around

757
00:40:08.640 --> 00:40:16.000
waiting for her. Yes. He was just doing his own thing. And then when he came back again to say,

758
00:40:16.000 --> 00:40:20.880
Hey, you know, do you want to, do you want to do something? Then the answer was yes.

759
00:40:22.640 --> 00:40:25.680
And sometimes the answer will forever be no, because that woman just doesn't,

760
00:40:25.680 --> 00:40:31.680
she's not interested in you. And that's okay. Because quite frankly, there's probably five

761
00:40:31.680 --> 00:40:34.800
other women that are interested in you that you're not paying attention to while you're

762
00:40:34.800 --> 00:40:42.640
wasting your time on that woman. True. Can I ask a question? Yeah, you can ask a question.

763
00:40:42.640 --> 00:40:48.800
One second. I want to say one more thing. And men don't take this well. Women take this really well

764
00:40:48.800 --> 00:40:54.480
and women do this. And because of that, women have a lot of success. And so guys, it is a yes

765
00:40:54.480 --> 00:41:00.960
until it's a no. A lot of you are waiting for some woman to, you know, just to, to just knock

766
00:41:00.960 --> 00:41:06.320
your socks off before you give it, you know, give it, give yourself a chance to get to know her

767
00:41:06.320 --> 00:41:10.880
better. And, you know, you're looking for Mrs. Right. And she's got a, you know, a lot of times

768
00:41:10.880 --> 00:41:16.480
you have this really strong internal list of what that looks like, or some strong attack, uh,

769
00:41:16.480 --> 00:41:21.760
attraction, something that you're attracted to guys. I, this one guy, this client that I have,

770
00:41:21.760 --> 00:41:27.280
I've shown him so many pictures of beautiful, objectively beautiful women that are my clients.

771
00:41:27.280 --> 00:41:31.600
And he has said no to every single one of them without even saying a word to any of them.

772
00:41:33.120 --> 00:41:39.760
Do not be this guy. That's an avoidant attachment right there, right? It makes you very picky,

773
00:41:39.760 --> 00:41:45.920
very particular, and it's going to keep you single. All right. You guys grow on us. That's

774
00:41:45.920 --> 00:41:51.040
why we're willing to give you a chance. That's why we obey the instructions of it's a yes until

775
00:41:51.120 --> 00:41:56.640
to know what does that mean? That means, you know what? Hang out with people, get to know them.

776
00:41:56.640 --> 00:42:03.200
It's not a, it's not a marriage proposal. Keep it low stakes. Don't make it romantic. Don't take

777
00:42:03.200 --> 00:42:09.840
her to, you know, a hundred dollar a plate steak house, ask her to go do something fun.

778
00:42:09.840 --> 00:42:14.560
You can see her personality. You can see whether or not, you know, she has something more than

779
00:42:14.560 --> 00:42:20.480
maybe what you see on the surface. And then if there's any attraction at all, if you had fun with

780
00:42:20.480 --> 00:42:27.280
her, you know, and you know, she made you feel good, then do it again. And don't just do it with

781
00:42:27.280 --> 00:42:31.920
one woman at a time. Do it with more than one woman at a time going out. That is obviously

782
00:42:32.880 --> 00:42:38.960
so that you can, you know, keep your options not only open, but you can really start to see

783
00:42:38.960 --> 00:42:42.080
what is going to be long-term compatible to you. All right, go ahead, Mike.

784
00:42:43.040 --> 00:42:50.480
All right. So I had, I don't have a ton of experience in this, but I asked, I made a

785
00:42:50.480 --> 00:42:55.360
connection request with one of the gals in the community and we actually hit it off fairly well,

786
00:42:55.360 --> 00:43:01.920
I thought, but then like, she wasn't interested in dating, but she wanted to be friends. And I was

787
00:43:01.920 --> 00:43:08.560
thinking, should I be able to be both of those, even though, should I be with, I don't know, I

788
00:43:08.640 --> 00:43:14.000
really couldn't flip off. I just would like to pursue you romantically and the friendship thing.

789
00:43:14.800 --> 00:43:20.000
She is amazing, but I just couldn't switch that off. Should I be able to, that was a question

790
00:43:20.000 --> 00:43:26.800
that I had. Let me ask you a question. Is she local to you? No. Okay. So that's part of the problem.

791
00:43:28.160 --> 00:43:33.520
Part of the problem is, is that, you know, she's not local. So you guys, long distance is really

792
00:43:33.520 --> 00:43:37.120
hard and a lot of people are not willing to give it a chance. Are any of you willing to give long

793
00:43:37.120 --> 00:43:40.320
distance a chance? I mean, Mike obviously is because he wanted to get to know her better.

794
00:43:40.320 --> 00:43:44.960
Anybody else? Okay. Matthew said yes. Anybody,

795
00:43:48.080 --> 00:43:51.840
you know, the thing with long distance is that you have to have a pretty strong,

796
00:43:52.480 --> 00:43:57.200
you know, kind of compatibility right from the beginning. I don't want to even use the

797
00:43:57.200 --> 00:44:02.800
word attraction because that's so misused, but it's overused. There has to be something that

798
00:44:02.800 --> 00:44:10.640
you're like, wow, I really like this person in order to invest the time and energy and money

799
00:44:10.640 --> 00:44:16.480
that it's going to take to really see if you actually really do like that person. Yeah. Okay.

800
00:44:17.280 --> 00:44:24.000
So Mike, I think as of right now, I think we have like 1200 women in the community. So pick another

801
00:44:24.000 --> 00:44:34.320
one. Yeah. So no, just, but like, um, yeah, so yeah, I did. So I, I moved on. Yeah. In all the

802
00:44:34.320 --> 00:44:38.080
rejections, you guys, I want you to take an inventory, all the rejections that you've received

803
00:44:38.080 --> 00:44:43.520
from women that you were interested in. Um, and maybe you'd never even let them know. Maybe you

804
00:44:43.520 --> 00:44:47.440
just knew that you're going to get rejected. So you didn't even try, but what are those women

805
00:44:47.440 --> 00:44:54.480
have in common? Okay. I have a private client right now and I'm having him do that inventory.

806
00:44:54.480 --> 00:44:59.280
And I want you guys to do that inventory to all the women, whether you dated them, whether you

807
00:44:59.280 --> 00:44:59.840
had a relationship.

808
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:02.840
whether you were married to them, it doesn't matter.

809
00:45:02.840 --> 00:45:04.920
All the women that you've ever been attracted to,

810
00:45:04.920 --> 00:45:06.800
that you had a crush on, that you liked,

811
00:45:06.800 --> 00:45:08.240
that you would have liked to have dated

812
00:45:08.240 --> 00:45:09.680
or had a relationship with,

813
00:45:09.680 --> 00:45:12.180
what do they all have in common?

814
00:45:14.280 --> 00:45:17.800
They all have something in common, right?

815
00:45:17.800 --> 00:45:19.320
And I need you to see what it is

816
00:45:19.320 --> 00:45:22.160
because that is how we're going to gauge

817
00:45:22.160 --> 00:45:24.960
what it is that you notice about women

818
00:45:24.960 --> 00:45:26.440
and what you're going after

819
00:45:26.440 --> 00:45:28.960
and why it's not working for you.

820
00:45:28.960 --> 00:45:31.720
Because remember, you're not only attracted to it

821
00:45:31.720 --> 00:45:32.560
and going after it,

822
00:45:32.560 --> 00:45:34.720
it also is not attracted back to you

823
00:45:34.720 --> 00:45:37.300
or it's not healthy for you for some reason.

824
00:45:37.300 --> 00:45:39.480
So we got to dig into that, don't we?

825
00:45:40.360 --> 00:45:43.160
Is there anyone here who has never really been

826
00:45:43.160 --> 00:45:45.180
really that attracted to any woman?

827
00:45:46.200 --> 00:45:49.200
You've never met someone that you really

828
00:45:49.200 --> 00:45:52.120
would have even liked to have a relationship with?

829
00:45:52.120 --> 00:45:53.720
Anybody?

830
00:45:53.720 --> 00:45:55.480
Okay, Hunter says yes.

831
00:45:55.480 --> 00:45:56.340
Anybody else?

832
00:45:59.080 --> 00:46:00.080
Yeah.

833
00:46:00.080 --> 00:46:03.960
Okay, everybody else has had definite crushes.

834
00:46:03.960 --> 00:46:06.160
Sorry for the technical difficulties tonight, y'all.

835
00:46:06.160 --> 00:46:07.000
Sorry about that.

836
00:46:07.000 --> 00:46:08.360
Yeah.

837
00:46:08.360 --> 00:46:09.860
I had that problem earlier today

838
00:46:09.860 --> 00:46:11.200
when I did a woman Zoom too.

839
00:46:11.200 --> 00:46:13.480
They said that my voice sounded like it was in a tunnel.

840
00:46:13.480 --> 00:46:15.280
So I think I just have a bad signal.

841
00:46:15.280 --> 00:46:19.680
Okay, so cool.

842
00:46:19.680 --> 00:46:21.240
All right, what other questions do we have

843
00:46:21.240 --> 00:46:23.840
about getting out there?

844
00:46:23.840 --> 00:46:25.400
You guys, it's not a numbers game.

845
00:46:25.400 --> 00:46:27.400
I don't want you to think of it that way,

846
00:46:27.480 --> 00:46:29.320
but it is important.

847
00:46:29.320 --> 00:46:30.680
I think a lot of guys,

848
00:46:30.680 --> 00:46:33.320
they're not even willing to even ask for the date

849
00:46:33.320 --> 00:46:38.320
unless they're just really, really taken with the woman.

850
00:46:41.720 --> 00:46:42.880
And there's a couple of reasons, Mike.

851
00:46:42.880 --> 00:46:44.480
Number one, men are like that.

852
00:46:44.480 --> 00:46:46.820
Women will give a guy that they're not that attracted

853
00:46:46.820 --> 00:46:51.160
to a chance to see if it's a yes until it's a no.

854
00:46:51.160 --> 00:46:54.320
But men want to be very physically attracted

855
00:46:54.320 --> 00:46:55.200
right from the beginning.

856
00:46:55.200 --> 00:46:56.240
And you guys, it doesn't have to be

857
00:46:56.240 --> 00:46:57.440
about sexual attraction,

858
00:46:57.440 --> 00:46:59.240
just very physically attractive, whatever.

859
00:46:59.240 --> 00:47:02.160
You think she's really cute, whatever, it doesn't matter.

860
00:47:02.160 --> 00:47:04.080
Men want that for sure.

861
00:47:04.080 --> 00:47:06.880
And Christian men are really worried

862
00:47:06.880 --> 00:47:08.320
that they're going to take out a girl

863
00:47:08.320 --> 00:47:10.080
that they're not that interested in

864
00:47:10.080 --> 00:47:12.440
to quote unquote get to know her a little bit better.

865
00:47:12.440 --> 00:47:14.680
And then she's gonna get the wrong idea and get upset.

866
00:47:14.680 --> 00:47:17.780
And they're gonna kind of get in trouble

867
00:47:17.780 --> 00:47:20.080
because they've let her on.

868
00:47:20.080 --> 00:47:21.760
It's almost like you can't date someone

869
00:47:21.760 --> 00:47:24.640
that you don't already know that is marriage material

870
00:47:24.640 --> 00:47:25.480
for you.

871
00:47:25.480 --> 00:47:26.760
You can't even take them on a date.

872
00:47:26.760 --> 00:47:31.040
Guys, that is so dumb, all right?

873
00:47:31.040 --> 00:47:33.360
Please let us, let's let that go.

874
00:47:33.360 --> 00:47:35.040
That is so dumb.

875
00:47:35.040 --> 00:47:37.840
And that came to be from, you know,

876
00:47:37.840 --> 00:47:39.560
church impurity culture.

877
00:47:39.560 --> 00:47:41.320
I kiss dating goodbye culture.

878
00:47:41.320 --> 00:47:43.720
So if God hasn't spoken to you,

879
00:47:43.720 --> 00:47:45.080
that they're your husband or wife,

880
00:47:45.080 --> 00:47:46.600
then you better not even go on a date with them.

881
00:47:46.600 --> 00:47:48.440
You guys, let's let go of that.

882
00:47:48.440 --> 00:47:49.960
That is not how this works.

883
00:47:49.960 --> 00:47:52.720
These are low stakes meetups where adult people,

884
00:47:52.720 --> 00:47:54.880
consenting adults are getting together

885
00:47:54.880 --> 00:47:56.480
because they want to,

886
00:47:56.480 --> 00:47:58.920
and getting to know each other better.

887
00:47:58.920 --> 00:47:59.840
All right?

888
00:47:59.840 --> 00:48:00.960
And it's very important.

889
00:48:00.960 --> 00:48:02.000
Okay, Paul, go ahead.

890
00:48:03.480 --> 00:48:05.240
No, I was just kind of agreeing

891
00:48:05.240 --> 00:48:06.920
with some of what you said.

892
00:48:06.920 --> 00:48:07.760
Yeah, okay.

893
00:48:07.760 --> 00:48:08.600
Mike, go ahead.

894
00:48:09.400 --> 00:48:12.960
You know, what would be helpful, I guess, right?

895
00:48:14.360 --> 00:48:17.800
Like, I really liked the thing we did the other day

896
00:48:17.800 --> 00:48:20.520
where we all were in groups at,

897
00:48:20.520 --> 00:48:22.000
that wasn't HeartConnect, was it HeartConnect?

898
00:48:22.000 --> 00:48:22.840
I don't remember.

899
00:48:22.840 --> 00:48:24.200
Yes, it was.

900
00:48:24.200 --> 00:48:25.040
Oh, okay, yeah.

901
00:48:25.040 --> 00:48:29.040
So, like, it's hard to,

902
00:48:29.040 --> 00:48:30.000
what would your, okay,

903
00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:32.360
what would your, I'll phrase it as a question.

904
00:48:33.640 --> 00:48:35.320
In wanting to connect with people,

905
00:48:35.320 --> 00:48:36.680
how would you,

906
00:48:36.680 --> 00:48:38.160
it doesn't seem like there's a lot of people

907
00:48:38.160 --> 00:48:39.840
to connect with, like 90% of people,

908
00:48:39.840 --> 00:48:42.800
95% are off camera or even,

909
00:48:42.800 --> 00:48:45.280
I think the app might help with that.

910
00:48:45.280 --> 00:48:46.120
Like getting-

911
00:48:46.120 --> 00:48:48.600
Yes, it is going to, big time.

912
00:48:48.600 --> 00:48:49.440
Big time.

913
00:48:49.440 --> 00:48:50.560
And you guys, I don't know if you heard,

914
00:48:50.560 --> 00:48:54.160
but you guys are getting onboarded onto the app

915
00:48:54.920 --> 00:48:55.760
this week.

916
00:48:55.760 --> 00:48:56.600
Mm-hmm.

917
00:48:56.600 --> 00:48:58.640
So, yeah, so I'm really excited about that.

918
00:48:58.640 --> 00:49:00.480
You know, the app has taken a lot longer

919
00:49:00.480 --> 00:49:01.600
than we expected it to.

920
00:49:01.600 --> 00:49:02.800
It's been very frustrating.

921
00:49:02.800 --> 00:49:05.920
There's been a lot of bugs in the, you know,

922
00:49:05.920 --> 00:49:08.040
in the development of it.

923
00:49:08.040 --> 00:49:11.680
But it is finally to a place where we feel like

924
00:49:11.680 --> 00:49:12.840
we're going to let people on

925
00:49:12.840 --> 00:49:13.680
and they're not going to be like,

926
00:49:13.680 --> 00:49:15.320
this is broken or this doesn't work.

927
00:49:15.320 --> 00:49:17.600
And we're going to have 50,000 emails every day.

928
00:49:17.600 --> 00:49:20.240
So it's to a place where we feel like it's not,

929
00:49:20.240 --> 00:49:22.480
it's not that glitchy.

930
00:49:22.480 --> 00:49:23.680
And so you guys are going to get on

931
00:49:24.200 --> 00:49:25.360
and then our female moderators.

932
00:49:25.360 --> 00:49:27.560
So we have a whole group of women that work for us

933
00:49:27.560 --> 00:49:30.040
in one way, shape, or form that used to be students.

934
00:49:30.040 --> 00:49:31.800
So they moderate single cities,

935
00:49:31.800 --> 00:49:35.200
they moderate chat rooms within the women's groups.

936
00:49:35.200 --> 00:49:36.800
And so all of those leaders,

937
00:49:36.800 --> 00:49:38.360
and there's, I think, about 50 of them,

938
00:49:38.360 --> 00:49:40.400
they'll be getting on the app with y'all

939
00:49:40.400 --> 00:49:42.360
at the same time as you.

940
00:49:42.360 --> 00:49:46.480
And then we'll migrate phase three women on,

941
00:49:46.480 --> 00:49:48.640
phase two women, and then phase one women.

942
00:49:48.640 --> 00:49:53.640
And you guys will have lots of opportunities to,

943
00:49:56.480 --> 00:49:57.840
because we're moving single nation,

944
00:49:57.840 --> 00:49:59.840
obviously from Facebook to the app.

945
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.760
Once again, you guys, the app is only for members.

946
00:50:02.760 --> 00:50:04.720
And so there's benefits to membership.

947
00:50:04.880 --> 00:50:08.160
And one of the benefits for all y'all is the odds are forever in your favor,

948
00:50:08.480 --> 00:50:13.520
because there are not that many men that are members of this community.

949
00:50:13.760 --> 00:50:17.000
There's only probably about a hundred of you and there's 1200 women.

950
00:50:18.000 --> 00:50:22.600
So if you cannot find a woman within that odd, that, that mathematical

951
00:50:22.600 --> 00:50:24.360
odds, then I don't know what to tell you.

952
00:50:24.800 --> 00:50:29.200
Um, but there'll be a lot of new men joining like within the next,

953
00:50:29.240 --> 00:50:30.480
you know, 30 days.

954
00:50:30.520 --> 00:50:38.040
So definitely when you get on, make sure that you get to know people and, um, and,

955
00:50:38.040 --> 00:50:40.880
and build out your, and make sure your profile will, we'll teach you all this

956
00:50:40.880 --> 00:50:41.160
stuff.

957
00:50:41.160 --> 00:50:43.840
I don't want to get into it cause I want to confuse you, but you'll, you're

958
00:50:43.840 --> 00:50:45.240
going to have a profile on there.

959
00:50:45.360 --> 00:50:48.960
People will be able to really connect with each other and it'll be great.

960
00:50:49.040 --> 00:50:51.400
And don't forget, we do have a dating app as well.

961
00:50:51.680 --> 00:50:55.000
Um, Mike, that is going to be released this summer.

962
00:50:56.880 --> 00:50:58.640
You're going to do a single city, San Francisco.

963
00:51:00.200 --> 00:51:03.000
Um, we are going to have a conference in San Francisco and then we're going to see

964
00:51:03.000 --> 00:51:03.640
what happens.

965
00:51:03.680 --> 00:51:06.560
And that conference is going to be in July and we're going to see, it's going to be

966
00:51:06.560 --> 00:51:08.800
at the same venue where you saw him before.

967
00:51:09.240 --> 00:51:13.280
And we're going to have a hundred guys and a hundred girls at that conference.

968
00:51:13.320 --> 00:51:16.440
And then we're going to see like what becomes of that.

969
00:51:17.480 --> 00:51:17.680
Cool.

970
00:51:19.160 --> 00:51:19.320
Yeah.

971
00:51:19.360 --> 00:51:23.920
Uh, do you need any help, um, advertising it if you shoot me some stuff?

972
00:51:23.920 --> 00:51:24.400
Like, um,

973
00:51:25.240 --> 00:51:29.600
yeah, um, I think that Hooman, who is the creative director of that venue is going

974
00:51:29.600 --> 00:51:33.680
to put together a team from within our, within our, um, program.

975
00:51:33.680 --> 00:51:35.360
And so if you want to be on that team, I'll let them know.

976
00:51:36.080 --> 00:51:36.360
You're cool.

977
00:51:36.440 --> 00:51:36.520
Yeah.

978
00:51:36.520 --> 00:51:37.000
Hooman's cool.

979
00:51:37.520 --> 00:51:37.840
Okay.

980
00:51:40.720 --> 00:51:41.000
All right.

981
00:51:41.000 --> 00:51:42.160
Just need prayer too.

982
00:51:44.800 --> 00:51:45.160
Okay.

983
00:51:45.200 --> 00:51:50.560
Well, you, you can post in the, in the, in your group Hunter, um, in the newsfeed,

984
00:51:50.800 --> 00:51:52.280
any kind of prayer request you guys.

985
00:51:52.280 --> 00:51:57.000
And listen, you guys do not show up for each other the way that I really would

986
00:51:57.000 --> 00:52:01.800
hope you would, um, you know, post what you're doing, what you're working on.

987
00:52:02.080 --> 00:52:04.720
Like for instance, Brett's not here tonight, but Brett is

988
00:52:04.720 --> 00:52:06.360
dating on one of our ladies.

989
00:52:06.400 --> 00:52:10.480
You know, art got married to one of our ladies just a couple of weeks ago.

990
00:52:10.680 --> 00:52:14.920
Um, no one posted about this stuff in the group when they were doing it.

991
00:52:16.040 --> 00:52:17.880
So it's like, you guys are not keeping each other.

992
00:52:17.880 --> 00:52:20.880
And I know that men don't communicate the way that way women do, but I feel like

993
00:52:20.880 --> 00:52:24.560
you guys are going to have your own group on, you know, the community app as

994
00:52:24.560 --> 00:52:28.920
well, it's important for you guys to not just support each other, but, you know,

995
00:52:28.920 --> 00:52:32.960
weigh in on each other's issues and situations and different things, pray for

996
00:52:32.960 --> 00:52:33.520
each other.

997
00:52:33.880 --> 00:52:36.480
And so all of that, all that's really important to do.

998
00:52:36.480 --> 00:52:38.760
And I'd love to see more of that for sure.

999
00:52:39.080 --> 00:52:40.880
Got a bunch of new guys coming in, you guys.

1000
00:52:40.880 --> 00:52:44.840
So I want to see, I'd love to see that happen for y'all.

1001
00:52:45.840 --> 00:52:50.520
Um, people are asking, what's your favorite part of the show?

1002
00:52:50.560 --> 00:52:53.880
People don't last men don't last in this community very long without getting

1003
00:52:53.880 --> 00:52:54.280
married.

1004
00:52:55.080 --> 00:52:59.960
So all of you, you know, some of you have been here for a minute, but you also just,

1005
00:53:00.360 --> 00:53:01.600
you haven't really been around.

1006
00:53:02.600 --> 00:53:06.200
So I want, I want you to get intentional about it.

1007
00:53:06.200 --> 00:53:07.040
Do you want to meet someone?

1008
00:53:07.040 --> 00:53:09.360
Like, for instance, let me just do a round Robin real quick.

1009
00:53:09.680 --> 00:53:13.440
Mike, you're in, you're in San Francisco, Matt, where are you at?

1010
00:53:13.440 --> 00:53:15.480
Matthew Los Angeles, Los Angeles.

1011
00:53:15.960 --> 00:53:16.120
Okay.

1012
00:53:16.120 --> 00:53:16.800
You're in LA.

1013
00:53:16.840 --> 00:53:17.320
What part?

1014
00:53:17.360 --> 00:53:18.800
What, what, what, where?

1015
00:53:19.240 --> 00:53:21.760
Uh, the Valley, Tonga Burbank area.

1016
00:53:22.200 --> 00:53:22.560
Okay.

1017
00:53:22.640 --> 00:53:23.040
Great.

1018
00:53:23.520 --> 00:53:28.040
Um, let's see, Greg, you're in the care.

1019
00:53:28.040 --> 00:53:29.800
Are you in the Carolinas or Virginia?

1020
00:53:29.840 --> 00:53:30.760
I can't remember.

1021
00:53:32.400 --> 00:53:33.080
Greg Thomas.

1022
00:53:33.080 --> 00:53:34.800
He might not be here right now.

1023
00:53:35.080 --> 00:53:37.200
Ryan, you're Ryan.

1024
00:53:37.240 --> 00:53:39.360
It says Arkins, but is that Ryan Atkins?

1025
00:53:39.840 --> 00:53:40.280
Yeah.

1026
00:53:40.280 --> 00:53:42.440
Well, yeah, I'm still in Reading.

1027
00:53:43.160 --> 00:53:43.480
Okay.

1028
00:53:43.520 --> 00:53:44.160
You're in Reading.

1029
00:53:44.160 --> 00:53:44.520
Great.

1030
00:53:45.000 --> 00:53:45.520
Awesome.

1031
00:53:45.560 --> 00:53:47.720
Had a lot of success stories in Reading, Ryan.

1032
00:53:47.720 --> 00:53:48.640
So you know that.

1033
00:53:48.640 --> 00:53:50.280
How about Paul and Hunter?

1034
00:53:50.280 --> 00:53:51.400
I know you're in New York.

1035
00:53:51.520 --> 00:53:52.320
Paul, where are you at?

1036
00:53:52.760 --> 00:53:54.720
Um, just North of Cincinnati a little bit.

1037
00:53:56.200 --> 00:53:57.440
North of Cincinnati.

1038
00:53:57.480 --> 00:53:57.960
Okay.

1039
00:53:58.400 --> 00:54:02.520
And then Greg is Greg somewhere on the East coast, I think.

1040
00:54:02.680 --> 00:54:04.240
Um, okay.

1041
00:54:04.520 --> 00:54:06.760
So yeah, lots of women.

1042
00:54:06.760 --> 00:54:08.320
So we have lots of women in these areas.

1043
00:54:08.320 --> 00:54:10.960
We have a huge LA group of women.

1044
00:54:11.360 --> 00:54:15.400
Um, not just the single city LA, like a huge group of women that are in that area.

1045
00:54:15.760 --> 00:54:18.360
Um, and we have lots of women in New York.

1046
00:54:18.360 --> 00:54:24.160
We have lots of women in San Francisco, Sacramento, Napa Valley, Reading, all

1047
00:54:24.160 --> 00:54:26.160
of those Northern California areas.

1048
00:54:26.560 --> 00:54:28.800
Um, we do have lots of women on the East coast.

1049
00:54:28.800 --> 00:54:33.880
And of course we have lots of women in Kentucky, Tennessee, Nashville, uh,

1050
00:54:33.920 --> 00:54:36.920
Columbus, we do have some in Cincinnati as well.

1051
00:54:36.960 --> 00:54:39.760
And so there are local women for y'all to meet.

1052
00:54:39.840 --> 00:54:42.040
And once again, it doesn't have to be local.

1053
00:54:42.040 --> 00:54:43.400
It can definitely be long distance.

1054
00:54:43.800 --> 00:54:47.520
I mean, art was in Canada and Annette was in Washington.

1055
00:54:48.040 --> 00:54:50.240
Which isn't very far, but still a flight.

1056
00:54:50.480 --> 00:54:54.960
It was a flight, you know, it was like maybe eight, eight, nine hour drive.

1057
00:54:56.000 --> 00:55:00.000
So, um, and then Rory, who you guys don't.

1058
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.680
No, because he doesn't really post in here and stuff, but he's engaged to

1059
00:55:04.680 --> 00:55:09.400
Danny from our community and he was in, you know, Eastern Canada, he was in

1060
00:55:09.400 --> 00:55:11.560
Toronto and she's all the way in Tennessee.

1061
00:55:12.400 --> 00:55:17.520
And so, um, lots and lots of long distance success stories for sure.

1062
00:55:18.280 --> 00:55:19.280
Hey, Jackie, this is Greg.

1063
00:55:19.280 --> 00:55:20.880
I'm in Charlotte, North Carolina.

1064
00:55:20.920 --> 00:55:21.520
Couldn't get off me.

1065
00:55:22.640 --> 00:55:23.080
Okay.

1066
00:55:23.120 --> 00:55:23.520
Charlotte.

1067
00:55:23.520 --> 00:55:25.920
I knew that you were, I knew that you were up there someplace.

1068
00:55:25.960 --> 00:55:26.320
Okay.

1069
00:55:26.600 --> 00:55:30.960
So we do have great community in Charlotte, Raleigh, and some other

1070
00:55:30.960 --> 00:55:32.440
areas that are close there as well.

1071
00:55:32.880 --> 00:55:35.520
So, and I know that, you know, Greg, you were interested in long distance.

1072
00:55:35.520 --> 00:55:36.640
I know you were talking to someone.

1073
00:55:36.640 --> 00:55:40.520
I can't remember who it was and didn't you fly to see them or they flew to see

1074
00:55:40.520 --> 00:55:42.640
you or something like that happened, right?

1075
00:55:44.120 --> 00:55:48.400
Yeah, I've had a few, uh, definitely a few dates within the community.

1076
00:55:48.600 --> 00:55:52.280
Um, some were traveling and some were a couple hours Raleigh area.

1077
00:55:53.000 --> 00:55:53.320
Okay.

1078
00:55:54.320 --> 00:55:57.640
Well, it'd be much easier for you guys when we get on the community app for you

1079
00:55:57.640 --> 00:55:59.840
to be able to find women and reach out to them.

1080
00:56:00.440 --> 00:56:06.520
Um, so that will be a positive for the whole app experience, unlike Facebook,

1081
00:56:06.520 --> 00:56:08.640
where you guys are in different, you're in different groups.

1082
00:56:09.120 --> 00:56:10.160
So, um,

1083
00:56:14.320 --> 00:56:15.360
yes, Android as well.

1084
00:56:15.800 --> 00:56:16.120
Okay.

1085
00:56:16.120 --> 00:56:17.520
Who else, who else was asking?

1086
00:56:17.920 --> 00:56:19.280
Well, uh, we take go live.

1087
00:56:19.720 --> 00:56:20.520
You say for the app,

1088
00:56:20.920 --> 00:56:22.880
you go, the, the app is live.

1089
00:56:23.320 --> 00:56:24.520
You guys could all download it.

1090
00:56:24.520 --> 00:56:25.280
It is live.

1091
00:56:25.320 --> 00:56:27.360
Um, you also can use it on your desktop.

1092
00:56:27.480 --> 00:56:27.760
Okay.

1093
00:56:27.760 --> 00:56:30.240
So it's a, it's a browser based app, so you can use it.

1094
00:56:30.240 --> 00:56:31.560
I mean, it's ready to go right now.

1095
00:56:32.240 --> 00:56:33.320
Oh, it is ready to go.

1096
00:56:33.320 --> 00:56:34.880
It's just been really glitchy.

1097
00:56:34.880 --> 00:56:40.160
We've had a lot of tickets in to our, to the it department to fix all kinds of

1098
00:56:40.160 --> 00:56:43.960
different things on it that weren't working to the specifications that we

1099
00:56:43.960 --> 00:56:45.520
had it built to work to.

1100
00:56:45.920 --> 00:56:48.280
And so, but you guys will be onboarded.

1101
00:56:48.560 --> 00:56:49.760
I don't know how they're going to do that.

1102
00:56:49.760 --> 00:56:52.680
I have to ask Cheryl and Renee how they're onboarding the guys this week,

1103
00:56:52.680 --> 00:56:57.160
but either we're just going to post in your Facebook group, um, the information

1104
00:56:57.160 --> 00:57:01.920
on how to, how you, you know, how you guys can get on and what, what we want you

1105
00:57:01.920 --> 00:57:03.520
to do, that's probably what they're going to do.

1106
00:57:03.760 --> 00:57:08.800
So be watching the Facebook group for the post that gives you instructions on that.

1107
00:57:10.200 --> 00:57:10.640
All right.

1108
00:57:11.000 --> 00:57:11.360
Okay.

1109
00:57:11.400 --> 00:57:14.200
So, but here's the thing guys, and this is what I want you to really

1110
00:57:14.200 --> 00:57:15.840
get into your hearts right now.

1111
00:57:16.000 --> 00:57:17.480
It's not about a shortage of women.

1112
00:57:18.280 --> 00:57:19.520
There's no shortage of women.

1113
00:57:19.880 --> 00:57:21.720
Women are the majority of the population.

1114
00:57:21.880 --> 00:57:22.680
You know that, right?

1115
00:57:23.320 --> 00:57:26.000
Yeah, 51, 52% women in the world.

1116
00:57:26.640 --> 00:57:26.920
Okay.

1117
00:57:26.920 --> 00:57:30.040
So the majority of the population, it's not a shortage of women.

1118
00:57:30.240 --> 00:57:33.280
It's not even a shortage of women that you could be compatible with, that you

1119
00:57:33.280 --> 00:57:35.040
could like, that you could find attractive.

1120
00:57:35.400 --> 00:57:38.840
It is something that's in your own way.

1121
00:57:40.240 --> 00:57:41.520
It's something that's in your own way.

1122
00:57:41.520 --> 00:57:44.000
And I think that analysis paralysis is part of it.

1123
00:57:45.400 --> 00:57:51.520
I think that men talk themselves out of just picking someone, just choosing

1124
00:57:51.520 --> 00:57:54.320
someone, even if you're, you don't have to choose them for life, but

1125
00:57:54.320 --> 00:57:58.520
just choose them for a date, you know, who, okay.

1126
00:57:58.520 --> 00:58:00.600
So you guys are obviously dating one-on-one.

1127
00:58:00.600 --> 00:58:04.840
So this starts the seven date challenge, right?

1128
00:58:04.920 --> 00:58:06.760
Matthew has to do his heart work.

1129
00:58:06.760 --> 00:58:09.320
So, all right, so let's get that going.

1130
00:58:09.320 --> 00:58:11.520
You can do this simultaneous if you want to.

1131
00:58:11.880 --> 00:58:14.360
Um, but seven date challenge.

1132
00:58:15.520 --> 00:58:20.680
I need y'all to have dates or day seven dates.

1133
00:58:21.840 --> 00:58:26.080
I like what's, what's the challenge for a week, right?

1134
00:58:26.560 --> 00:58:29.600
Yeah, no seven dates, y'all seven day challenge.

1135
00:58:29.720 --> 00:58:30.200
All right.

1136
00:58:30.720 --> 00:58:34.960
And so let's choose an end date for the seven dates.

1137
00:58:35.360 --> 00:58:35.640
All right.

1138
00:58:35.640 --> 00:58:36.840
Cause you guys are starting right now.

1139
00:58:36.840 --> 00:58:38.400
It's May 6th right now.

1140
00:58:38.760 --> 00:58:43.480
So we're going to give it, we're going to give it to, let's see, want to give

1141
00:58:43.480 --> 00:58:48.600
you the same amount of time we gave the ladies when is, does anyone know

1142
00:58:48.600 --> 00:58:50.200
when the summer solstice starts?

1143
00:58:50.200 --> 00:58:51.040
Is that the 20th?

1144
00:58:52.000 --> 00:58:52.560
21st.

1145
00:58:53.640 --> 00:58:54.200
21st.

1146
00:58:54.240 --> 00:58:54.440
Okay.

1147
00:58:54.440 --> 00:58:54.840
Let me look.

1148
00:58:56.080 --> 00:58:56.400
All right.

1149
00:58:56.600 --> 00:58:57.640
So it's May 6th.

1150
00:59:00.720 --> 00:59:01.960
Get as many as you can.

1151
00:59:02.040 --> 00:59:04.480
If you don't get all seven, that's fine, but I'm going to give

1152
00:59:04.480 --> 00:59:05.840
you to the first day of summer.

1153
00:59:08.200 --> 00:59:08.960
Here's the thing.

1154
00:59:09.440 --> 00:59:10.520
Phone dates count.

1155
00:59:11.440 --> 00:59:14.720
Zoom dates count for those of you that would be doing long

1156
00:59:14.720 --> 00:59:18.120
distance that counts, right?

1157
00:59:18.640 --> 00:59:20.800
Can we do this after the app launches?

1158
00:59:24.160 --> 00:59:31.680
My thing isn't, um, it's lack of opportunity more than, um, yeah.

1159
00:59:33.040 --> 00:59:37.000
I mean, I'm around a ton of people who are in their twenties, right.

1160
00:59:37.000 --> 00:59:40.400
You know, but like, you know, being 14, let's talk about that.

1161
00:59:40.400 --> 00:59:41.120
Let's talk about that.

1162
00:59:41.120 --> 00:59:43.680
Because Paul mentioned that too, is that okay.

1163
00:59:43.960 --> 00:59:46.760
You know, woman's nice until, you know, she thinks you're a creeper.

1164
00:59:46.760 --> 00:59:48.720
Cause she's, you know, younger or something.

1165
00:59:48.760 --> 00:59:49.200
Okay.

1166
00:59:49.600 --> 00:59:52.160
So I will tell you something that I have noticed, and

1167
00:59:52.160 --> 00:59:53.800
this is definitely a shift.

1168
00:59:54.160 --> 00:59:58.080
It didn't use to be like this, but it has definitely become like

1169
00:59:58.080 --> 00:59:59.960
this and probably the last, you.

1170
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.900
know, five or six years, women are not that open to age

1171
01:00:03.900 --> 01:00:09.020
differences anymore. Yeah. Notice that? Yeah, they're not.

1172
01:00:09.660 --> 01:00:13.020
They're not that open to age differences anymore. And, you

1173
01:00:13.020 --> 01:00:16.980
know, that didn't used to be the case, y'all. It didn't. But it

1174
01:00:16.980 --> 01:00:21.020
is definitely very few and far between like when women fill out

1175
01:00:21.020 --> 01:00:24.100
their forms for me and I asked, you know, how big of an age

1176
01:00:24.100 --> 01:00:27.180
difference will you entertain? You know, usually the age

1177
01:00:27.180 --> 01:00:32.920
difference is not more than five years. Okay, so all that

1178
01:00:32.940 --> 01:00:35.160
old fashioned stuff where they're like, hey, you know,

1179
01:00:35.160 --> 01:00:38.560
divide your age in half and then add seven years, you know, I

1180
01:00:38.560 --> 01:00:41.480
don't know where this came from. But it may have used to been

1181
01:00:41.480 --> 01:00:44.640
true, but it's not now. So if you're a 50 year old man using

1182
01:00:44.640 --> 01:00:47.160
that math, a 50 year old man could date a 32 year old woman,

1183
01:00:47.340 --> 01:00:51.400
right? Half his age plus seven years. And that definitely

1184
01:00:51.400 --> 01:00:56.100
probably used to be a thing, but it's not anymore. And so what I

1185
01:00:56.100 --> 01:01:00.320
would love for y'all to do instead is kind of dig into why

1186
01:01:00.320 --> 01:01:04.760
you don't like women your own age. And you know, why that, you

1187
01:01:04.760 --> 01:01:07.120
know, why you're not attracted to women your own age, because I

1188
01:01:07.120 --> 01:01:13.280
will tell you, we objectively, okay, have really good looking

1189
01:01:13.280 --> 01:01:17.920
women in every age group. I mean, women that, you know, they

1190
01:01:17.920 --> 01:01:20.720
might be in their 60s, but they look like they're in their 40s.

1191
01:01:20.960 --> 01:01:24.480
You know, women, a lot of times are a lot younger minded and

1192
01:01:24.480 --> 01:01:29.140
even like, more active than men as they age. For the most part,

1193
01:01:29.620 --> 01:01:34.500
that's a thing. And so, so just want to let you guys know, women

1194
01:01:34.500 --> 01:01:39.940
are very, very afraid. There's a big fear in women nowadays, to

1195
01:01:39.940 --> 01:01:43.860
marry a man who isn't going to be as active as she is. That's

1196
01:01:43.860 --> 01:01:46.320
why they don't want to marry older. You know, yeah, they

1197
01:01:46.320 --> 01:01:50.300
might be attracted to him when you know, they're 25. And you

1198
01:01:50.300 --> 01:01:55.680
know, he's 45. But what happens when he's 65? And they're 45?

1199
01:01:55.700 --> 01:01:59.900
You know, they're just like, no. And so they're, they're very,

1200
01:01:59.920 --> 01:02:04.480
they're very concerned about becoming caretakers. For someone

1201
01:02:04.480 --> 01:02:07.360
who's a lot older than them, you know, it starts having health

1202
01:02:07.360 --> 01:02:10.480
problems. And so please keep this in mind for those of you

1203
01:02:10.480 --> 01:02:14.200
that for whatever reason, are attracted to women much younger

1204
01:02:14.200 --> 01:02:17.400
than you. And when I say much younger, I'm going to say, you

1205
01:02:17.400 --> 01:02:23.860
know, 1015 years or more. Okay, ask yourself why that is. And

1206
01:02:23.860 --> 01:02:25.560
for some of you, you're like, well, I still want to have

1207
01:02:25.560 --> 01:02:28.740
children. And but you guys, there's a lot of ways to have

1208
01:02:28.740 --> 01:02:31.780
children. There's lots of ways to have children. And if we get

1209
01:02:31.780 --> 01:02:35.020
into the mindset that we only want biological children, then

1210
01:02:35.020 --> 01:02:37.820
maybe we need to take that to the Lord as well and ask about

1211
01:02:37.820 --> 01:02:42.220
our ego. Because if we want biological children, then we

1212
01:02:42.220 --> 01:02:44.540
should have probably gotten married before we were 60 years

1213
01:02:44.560 --> 01:02:49.480
old. Yeah. Because it's not just about marrying a younger woman

1214
01:02:49.480 --> 01:02:52.760
who's able to have children still, it's also about you being

1215
01:02:52.800 --> 01:02:57.980
a very older, older dad. You know, so there's lots of things

1216
01:02:57.980 --> 01:02:58.720
at stake there.

1217
01:03:00.620 --> 01:03:04.760
Yeah, I mean, I find most women in their early 40s to mid 40s,

1218
01:03:04.760 --> 01:03:10.880
they're all wanting kids badly. And that's been and not that I

1219
01:03:10.880 --> 01:03:14.500
have like, maybe five in my life in my whole in all of my

1220
01:03:14.500 --> 01:03:21.060
circles. So total, so like in the age range, there isn't a lot

1221
01:03:21.060 --> 01:03:24.180
of people in my age range at all. So

1222
01:03:26.780 --> 01:03:32.960
how old are you? 48? Okay. Yeah, women, women, women in their

1223
01:03:32.980 --> 01:03:36.340
late 30s and early 40s, which you know, early 40s would

1224
01:03:36.340 --> 01:03:39.740
definitely still be doable for you. They do if they don't have

1225
01:03:39.760 --> 01:03:41.760
any children, they do want children. Do you not want

1226
01:03:41.760 --> 01:03:46.360
children? I can't have kids anymore. So well, by the bill.

1227
01:03:46.820 --> 01:03:50.120
So anyway, so that's been that's been no, are you telling me that

1228
01:03:50.120 --> 01:03:55.120
you are you're in the boys club? I got it. Yeah. Okay. All right.

1229
01:03:55.160 --> 01:04:01.400
So you already have children. Okay. Okay. All right. So yes.

1230
01:04:01.400 --> 01:04:04.960
So women, yes. But I will tell you that there are women like

1231
01:04:04.960 --> 01:04:08.040
you that have grown children that don't want any more

1232
01:04:08.040 --> 01:04:12.060
children. Yeah, just a matter of aligning.

1233
01:04:14.820 --> 01:04:18.300
Okay, so let's talk about when we're dating, how quickly we

1234
01:04:18.300 --> 01:04:22.780
share information like that. Right. So here's the thing. So

1235
01:04:22.800 --> 01:04:27.740
Mike has a vasectomy. He has kids already. He doesn't he, you

1236
01:04:27.740 --> 01:04:30.740
know, unless he would get that reversed, which it is possible

1237
01:04:30.740 --> 01:04:33.420
to get it reversed. But if you don't feel led to do that, you

1238
01:04:33.420 --> 01:04:38.760
don't want to do that. Also, it doesn't always work. And so

1239
01:04:38.780 --> 01:04:41.280
there's a lot that goes into that situation. He's almost 50

1240
01:04:41.280 --> 01:04:44.580
years old. So fathering children, that ship has kind of

1241
01:04:44.580 --> 01:04:48.320
sailed for him. He's already has them. And so when would it be

1242
01:04:48.320 --> 01:04:54.520
okay for him to share kind of that like, hey, you know, I have

1243
01:04:54.520 --> 01:04:57.660
grown children. And I'm, you know, I don't know if you're

1244
01:04:57.660 --> 01:04:59.880
interested in still having biological children, but

1245
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:05.000
I, I'm not, I would say honestly, pretty quickly,

1246
01:05:08.340 --> 01:05:10.880
especially with Christian women, because you're right.

1247
01:05:10.880 --> 01:05:12.720
The ones that are in their early forties,

1248
01:05:12.720 --> 01:05:14.680
they are, their, their baby clocks are ticking

1249
01:05:14.680 --> 01:05:16.980
and they're ticking hard and loud.

1250
01:05:16.980 --> 01:05:19.720
So they have to make a decision that if they like you

1251
01:05:19.720 --> 01:05:22.240
and want to be with you, then that's something that,

1252
01:05:22.240 --> 01:05:24.920
you know, they're going to have to, you know,

1253
01:05:24.920 --> 01:05:26.320
be a bonus mom to your kids.

1254
01:05:26.320 --> 01:05:27.760
I don't know if you're open to adoption

1255
01:05:27.760 --> 01:05:29.400
or if you're not open to any kids at all

1256
01:05:29.400 --> 01:05:31.440
for any reason at all.

1257
01:05:31.440 --> 01:05:33.040
But those are things that you need to think through.

1258
01:05:33.040 --> 01:05:35.420
And all of you gentlemen, you need to think through that.

1259
01:05:35.420 --> 01:05:37.960
Are you willing to date a woman who has children

1260
01:05:37.960 --> 01:05:40.120
that she's still raising?

1261
01:05:40.120 --> 01:05:41.840
That's a possibility.

1262
01:05:41.840 --> 01:05:44.240
You know, sometimes women have adopted children.

1263
01:05:44.240 --> 01:05:46.160
We have this amazing woman in our community.

1264
01:05:46.160 --> 01:05:47.960
She's married now, but her name was Ronnie

1265
01:05:47.960 --> 01:05:50.000
and she's in her fifties,

1266
01:05:50.000 --> 01:05:53.800
but she was raising two young adopted daughters

1267
01:05:53.800 --> 01:05:56.920
that she adopted as a single woman.

1268
01:05:56.960 --> 01:05:59.120
And a lot of women are adopting children right now

1269
01:05:59.120 --> 01:06:00.680
as they're, while they're single.

1270
01:06:00.680 --> 01:06:02.960
So you need to make a decision

1271
01:06:02.960 --> 01:06:04.880
about how you feel about that.

1272
01:06:04.880 --> 01:06:08.240
And also be open to your feelings changing

1273
01:06:08.240 --> 01:06:10.760
if you meet a woman that you really fall in love with,

1274
01:06:10.760 --> 01:06:13.640
because that can change how you feel about that as well.

1275
01:06:13.640 --> 01:06:14.920
Ryan, you got a question?

1276
01:06:19.320 --> 01:06:20.940
Your window is green.

1277
01:06:20.940 --> 01:06:22.440
Did you want to say something?

1278
01:06:22.880 --> 01:06:24.360
Nope, that was an accident.

1279
01:06:24.360 --> 01:06:25.680
My apologies.

1280
01:06:25.680 --> 01:06:26.520
Okay.

1281
01:06:26.520 --> 01:06:27.440
So you guys just make a decision

1282
01:06:27.440 --> 01:06:28.640
about how you feel about that.

1283
01:06:28.640 --> 01:06:32.960
And also, you know, make that decision with God

1284
01:06:32.960 --> 01:06:36.080
because once again, that can definitely change.

1285
01:06:36.080 --> 01:06:39.160
And so when you're talking to a woman,

1286
01:06:39.160 --> 01:06:42.720
make sure that, you know, once again with Mike,

1287
01:06:42.720 --> 01:06:47.720
you know, he's not able without supernatural miracle

1288
01:06:48.400 --> 01:06:51.000
or, you know, a reversal with this,

1289
01:06:51.000 --> 01:06:53.600
which I heard is pretty painful surgery

1290
01:06:53.600 --> 01:06:56.240
to even try to have kids.

1291
01:06:56.240 --> 01:06:58.120
And so that is the thing that I would share.

1292
01:06:58.120 --> 01:06:59.760
Not that you're not interested in having them,

1293
01:06:59.760 --> 01:07:02.080
but hey, you know, you, you know, you have,

1294
01:07:02.080 --> 01:07:04.400
you've been married, your children are grown

1295
01:07:04.400 --> 01:07:05.640
and you have a vasectomy.

1296
01:07:07.080 --> 01:07:07.920
Yeah.

1297
01:07:08.840 --> 01:07:11.320
You know, it is what it is.

1298
01:07:12.400 --> 01:07:14.760
So on the long distance thing, right?

1299
01:07:14.760 --> 01:07:17.080
I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm,

1300
01:07:17.280 --> 01:07:18.120
right.

1301
01:07:18.120 --> 01:07:20.680
And is there a, I mean,

1302
01:07:20.680 --> 01:07:23.760
cause I was looking at somebody within like the,

1303
01:07:23.760 --> 01:07:26.120
like the, the Western half of the US,

1304
01:07:26.120 --> 01:07:27.840
but I mean like, is there,

1305
01:07:27.840 --> 01:07:30.640
is there a breakup of like the distance

1306
01:07:30.640 --> 01:07:33.560
or does it, does it not matter between six hours,

1307
01:07:33.560 --> 01:07:36.720
like New York or you understand what I'm saying?

1308
01:07:36.720 --> 01:07:38.720
Like somebody on the West coast

1309
01:07:38.720 --> 01:07:41.280
versus somebody on the East coast.

1310
01:07:41.280 --> 01:07:42.360
I mean, you can't, I mean,

1311
01:07:42.360 --> 01:07:46.160
you're not going to be able to decide, you know,

1312
01:07:46.160 --> 01:07:49.160
who you're attracted to based on how close they are to you.

1313
01:07:49.160 --> 01:07:52.040
If you're attracted to someone who you're really attracted

1314
01:07:52.040 --> 01:07:55.080
to someone who lives far away and you're willing to,

1315
01:07:55.080 --> 01:07:57.760
you know, make the sacrifice, the time investment,

1316
01:07:57.760 --> 01:07:59.920
the money investment that it's going to take

1317
01:07:59.920 --> 01:08:00.960
to get to know that woman.

1318
01:08:00.960 --> 01:08:02.160
You guys, you have to start,

1319
01:08:02.160 --> 01:08:05.040
you have to start getting to know them pretty quick.

1320
01:08:05.040 --> 01:08:05.880
Okay.

1321
01:08:05.880 --> 01:08:06.960
If you meet someone long distance

1322
01:08:06.960 --> 01:08:08.240
and you're intrigued by them,

1323
01:08:08.240 --> 01:08:10.960
that first visit has to happen very quickly.

1324
01:08:10.960 --> 01:08:13.880
Please do not talk to someone for months on the phone,

1325
01:08:13.880 --> 01:08:15.320
fall in love with their voice

1326
01:08:15.320 --> 01:08:17.439
and talk to them every single day.

1327
01:08:17.439 --> 01:08:20.800
Because if you get together with them in person eventually,

1328
01:08:20.800 --> 01:08:23.279
and that same chemistry is not there,

1329
01:08:23.279 --> 01:08:24.840
it's going to be a real downer.

1330
01:08:25.920 --> 01:08:26.760
How'd that happen?

1331
01:08:26.760 --> 01:08:30.319
Well, and oftentimes it's not.

1332
01:08:30.319 --> 01:08:32.160
So Mike, I know that you got your tooth knocked out.

1333
01:08:32.160 --> 01:08:33.840
When are you getting that fixed?

1334
01:08:33.840 --> 01:08:38.080
Well, I'm getting my Invisalign next week or this week.

1335
01:08:38.080 --> 01:08:40.399
I do have, I have my tooth, my fake tooth,

1336
01:08:40.399 --> 01:08:42.880
but I just don't wear it very often, but.

1337
01:08:42.880 --> 01:08:44.800
Okay, wait, you're getting Invisalign,

1338
01:08:45.279 --> 01:08:47.439
you're not getting like an implant of a tooth or what?

1339
01:08:47.439 --> 01:08:49.520
No, I have the implant, it's healing.

1340
01:08:50.399 --> 01:08:51.240
Oh, gotcha, gotcha.

1341
01:08:51.240 --> 01:08:52.319
Okay, all right.

1342
01:08:52.319 --> 01:08:54.399
So like, and then they're like,

1343
01:08:54.399 --> 01:08:57.000
before we can do the crown, we have to do the Invisalign.

1344
01:08:57.000 --> 01:08:57.840
If you want to do the Invisalign,

1345
01:08:57.840 --> 01:08:59.080
before you do that, fill the crown.

1346
01:08:59.080 --> 01:09:01.120
And then, so it's going to be built,

1347
01:09:01.120 --> 01:09:04.359
temporary tooth built into the Invisalign retainer.

1348
01:09:04.359 --> 01:09:05.279
Oh, that's interesting.

1349
01:09:05.279 --> 01:09:06.120
Okay, cool.

1350
01:09:06.120 --> 01:09:08.520
Yeah, David is kind of going through

1351
01:09:08.520 --> 01:09:09.840
that whole process too.

1352
01:09:09.840 --> 01:09:11.880
All right, so that's going to be important, you guys.

1353
01:09:11.880 --> 01:09:14.359
When women tell me what they notice about a man,

1354
01:09:14.920 --> 01:09:16.200
the very first thing that they notice about you

1355
01:09:16.200 --> 01:09:18.120
is your smile, okay?

1356
01:09:18.120 --> 01:09:20.000
Women are into teeth.

1357
01:09:20.000 --> 01:09:22.120
Women are into teeth, okay?

1358
01:09:22.120 --> 01:09:23.720
So, you know, you don't have to have

1359
01:09:23.720 --> 01:09:25.200
perfectly straight teeth,

1360
01:09:25.200 --> 01:09:26.960
but if you're missing teeth,

1361
01:09:26.960 --> 01:09:28.279
probably need to get that fixed.

1362
01:09:28.279 --> 01:09:30.279
And if your teeth are discolored,

1363
01:09:30.279 --> 01:09:31.840
you know, if there's nothing you can do about that,

1364
01:09:31.840 --> 01:09:34.399
you got tetracycline stains or something from a kid,

1365
01:09:34.399 --> 01:09:37.120
when you're a kid, you had antibiotics, okay, whatever.

1366
01:09:37.120 --> 01:09:40.160
But if it's just a situation that you drink coffee

1367
01:09:40.160 --> 01:09:42.319
or something else and you need to whiten your teeth,

1368
01:09:42.319 --> 01:09:44.680
maybe you smoked for 20 years and now you don't anymore,

1369
01:09:44.680 --> 01:09:46.600
but you never had your teeth whitened,

1370
01:09:46.600 --> 01:09:48.520
get your teeth whitened, okay?

1371
01:09:48.520 --> 01:09:49.720
The other thing that women notice

1372
01:09:49.720 --> 01:09:51.120
is that if you have facial hair,

1373
01:09:51.120 --> 01:09:53.319
which women like facial hair,

1374
01:09:53.319 --> 01:09:55.280
but they like it to be manscaped.

1375
01:09:56.560 --> 01:09:59.440
They don't want to date ZZ Top, all right?

1376
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.080
don't want to, they're not, they're not interested in being

1377
01:10:03.080 --> 01:10:06.000
with the Doug Dynasty guy, right? All right. So when you

1378
01:10:06.000 --> 01:10:07.360
think facial hair,

1379
01:10:09.880 --> 01:10:15.240
let's think that it's nicely, you know, it's nicely groomed.

1380
01:10:15.320 --> 01:10:18.680
Okay, so well groomed man, if he has facial hair, that his facial

1381
01:10:18.680 --> 01:10:22.120
hair is well groomed, that his teeth, you know, that he takes

1382
01:10:22.160 --> 01:10:24.360
care of his teeth, his teeth don't look like there's stuff

1383
01:10:24.360 --> 01:10:27.120
growing on them, but they look clean. They look, you know, as

1384
01:10:27.120 --> 01:10:31.320
white as they can, of course. And then did you care about the

1385
01:10:31.320 --> 01:10:36.320
date? Did you show up like looking your best? Or are you

1386
01:10:36.320 --> 01:10:40.440
do you are you looking sloppy? You guys, I have so many stories

1387
01:10:40.480 --> 01:10:44.120
of men showing up to dates and stained clothes and clothes.

1388
01:10:44.120 --> 01:10:47.760
They just got off work. If you got off work, and you work like

1389
01:10:47.760 --> 01:10:51.760
you know, some sort of, like, you know, really manual labor

1390
01:10:51.760 --> 01:10:56.120
job. Okay, cool. And women think that's sexy, manual labor, sexy

1391
01:10:56.120 --> 01:10:58.760
women like men who can fix things meant women like men who

1392
01:10:58.760 --> 01:11:03.320
can do stuff. All right, they do. But at the same time, show

1393
01:11:03.320 --> 01:11:09.000
her that you value your meetup with her by looking good.

1394
01:11:10.080 --> 01:11:14.360
Looking as good as you can look. Okay, smelling as good as you

1395
01:11:14.360 --> 01:11:19.120
can smell. Do not bathe in cologne. Women don't like that.

1396
01:11:19.120 --> 01:11:21.920
In fact, you guys, I'm just gonna tell you cologne is a real

1397
01:11:21.920 --> 01:11:25.440
like autoimmune trigger for a lot of people now. A lot of

1398
01:11:25.440 --> 01:11:29.040
people are like, you know, thumbs down on the cologne. So

1399
01:11:29.040 --> 01:11:31.480
if you do like cologne, and you do wear cologne, make sure it's

1400
01:11:31.480 --> 01:11:33.520
something that works with your body chemistry. It's not

1401
01:11:33.520 --> 01:11:37.240
overpowering. You don't put too much of it on. A little dab will

1402
01:11:37.240 --> 01:11:41.080
do you. I think that women like cologne if it's something that

1403
01:11:41.080 --> 01:11:45.680
is, you know, it's a it's a favorable smell, and it's not

1404
01:11:45.680 --> 01:11:49.400
too overpowering. If you get in the elevator, and you leave the

1405
01:11:49.400 --> 01:11:53.000
elevator and for two hours, the elevator still smells like you

1406
01:11:53.000 --> 01:11:59.080
you're wearing too much cologne. Okay. All right. So those are

1407
01:11:59.080 --> 01:12:01.160
the things that women notice about men, they notice if you're

1408
01:12:01.160 --> 01:12:03.880
well groomed, especially if you have facial hair, if your

1409
01:12:03.880 --> 01:12:06.880
clothes, if you look like you tried, you know, even if you're

1410
01:12:06.880 --> 01:12:09.000
not the most fashionable guy in the world, you look like you

1411
01:12:09.000 --> 01:12:13.760
tried, you know, and that you're and that you let you take care

1412
01:12:13.800 --> 01:12:18.360
of your take care of your teeth. Cool.

1413
01:12:19.080 --> 01:12:23.800
All right. Well, I just have a mustache and a soul patch. Does

1414
01:12:23.800 --> 01:12:25.400
that does that look okay?

1415
01:12:26.600 --> 01:12:32.880
It just has to be well groomed. Okay. And then the thing that

1416
01:12:32.880 --> 01:12:35.760
men notice about women, I want you guys to add this in so I can

1417
01:12:35.760 --> 01:12:38.920
tell the women what you said. But what guys have told me I

1418
01:12:38.920 --> 01:12:41.640
took a poll, the guys told me the first things that they

1419
01:12:41.640 --> 01:12:47.320
noticed about women and also her smile, and her eyes, her

1420
01:12:47.320 --> 01:12:52.920
hair. Okay. And so do you guys want to add anything to that?

1421
01:12:52.920 --> 01:12:55.240
Those are the three things that men told me they're like, you

1422
01:12:55.240 --> 01:12:57.240
know, obviously, if you talk to her a little bit her sense of

1423
01:12:57.240 --> 01:13:01.240
humor, her laugh, you know, her demeanor, but just looking at a

1424
01:13:01.240 --> 01:13:06.040
woman from across the room, her eyes, her smile, like her face,

1425
01:13:06.040 --> 01:13:09.400
like her eyes, her smile and her hair. What do you guys say?

1426
01:13:10.360 --> 01:13:10.840
Hair.

1427
01:13:12.840 --> 01:13:15.400
Okay, what what about her hair, Paul? What's what do you want it

1428
01:13:15.400 --> 01:13:15.960
to look like?

1429
01:13:16.440 --> 01:13:20.840
Just, you know, well kept. I usually prefer longer hair, but

1430
01:13:20.840 --> 01:13:25.000
it's not like a deal breaker or anything like that. You know,

1431
01:13:25.000 --> 01:13:25.480
it's just

1432
01:13:26.200 --> 01:13:29.640
Okay. Any particular color of hair?

1433
01:13:32.440 --> 01:13:35.960
I see women with gray hair look really nice. So sometimes

1434
01:13:36.920 --> 01:13:42.440
purple and pink and mixed colors. I don't know, maybe not.

1435
01:13:43.320 --> 01:13:47.160
Yeah. I mean, with highlights, I've seen some with, you know,

1436
01:13:47.160 --> 01:13:49.080
different colored highlights that look good. But you know,

1437
01:13:49.640 --> 01:13:52.920
it's too far off. But that's probably someone way too young

1438
01:13:52.920 --> 01:13:53.880
for me anyway. So

1439
01:13:54.760 --> 01:13:57.160
I don't know. There's a lot of there's a lot of women dying

1440
01:13:57.160 --> 01:14:00.920
their hair purple nowadays in their 50s and 60s for sure. So

1441
01:14:00.920 --> 01:14:04.120
but yeah, I hear you. Okay, so natural occurring colors in

1442
01:14:04.200 --> 01:14:08.200
nature. Got it. Does anyone here have a problem with redheads?

1443
01:14:09.080 --> 01:14:13.080
Nope. Nope. I was one when I was younger.

1444
01:14:14.360 --> 01:14:17.480
Wow. Okay. All right. I've had brown.

1445
01:14:19.000 --> 01:14:22.040
You know, one of the things so like, I don't this is gonna

1446
01:14:22.040 --> 01:14:24.200
sound bad. I don't know. This may or may not sound bad. I'm

1447
01:14:24.200 --> 01:14:28.840
looking I live a lifestyle that's always busy and I'm trying

1448
01:14:28.840 --> 01:14:32.120
to stay fit. And so somebody who's taking care of their body,

1449
01:14:32.120 --> 01:14:34.760
right, you know, because I want somebody to grow old with and

1450
01:14:34.760 --> 01:14:39.800
have fun with and I married a couch potato before and that

1451
01:14:39.800 --> 01:14:44.680
was really not a lot of fun for either of us. So I mean, so

1452
01:14:44.680 --> 01:14:48.440
like, so somebody who I could go dancing with, I mean, they

1453
01:14:48.440 --> 01:14:52.360
don't have to have, you know, I mean, be like, just somebody

1454
01:14:52.360 --> 01:14:56.440
who's in shape. Right? Yeah. And and what you have to

1455
01:14:56.440 --> 01:14:59.400
understand, though, is that at 49 years old, you know, in

1456
01:14:59.400 --> 01:14:59.960
shape.

1457
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.120
looks different in your forties and fifties than it did in your twenties and thirties.

1458
01:15:04.120 --> 01:15:09.520
And so someone can be really active. Someone could go to Pilates or, you know, be to the

1459
01:15:09.520 --> 01:15:14.900
gym and work out, work out with weight. Someone could walk three to five miles a day and still

1460
01:15:14.900 --> 01:15:20.720
be a little fluffy, right? Still, still have a little bit of weight around their hips or

1461
01:15:20.720 --> 01:15:26.300
their midsection. Cause that's called menopause. And so you're going to have to kind of come

1462
01:15:26.300 --> 01:15:30.900
to terms with the fact that, you know, not women in your age range don't all have hard

1463
01:15:30.900 --> 01:15:36.820
bodies like they're 20 and 30 years old anymore, you know? And then I don't, a lot of women

1464
01:15:36.820 --> 01:15:42.940
didn't even have that then. And so, so in shape can't be judged by whether or not a

1465
01:15:42.940 --> 01:15:47.080
woman's carrying an extra 10 to 15 pounds. Cause in your age range, a lot of times they

1466
01:15:47.080 --> 01:15:52.620
are no matter what kind of diet or exercise they do. So basically what you're saying,

1467
01:15:53.300 --> 01:15:58.500
yeah. So what you're saying is, is you just want someone who loves to be active, who loves

1468
01:15:58.500 --> 01:16:02.380
to be active and do things that are active. Cause you don't want to be married to someone

1469
01:16:02.380 --> 01:16:07.380
who just sits around and watches television. So that's more something that you're going

1470
01:16:07.380 --> 01:16:14.460
to find out by talking to someone than by just looking at them is all I'm saying. And

1471
01:16:14.460 --> 01:16:19.140
as a woman, who's going to be 50 years old January. So seven months from now, I just

1472
01:16:19.140 --> 01:16:22.380
know it to be true. And you know, they always tell us this when we're young, they're like,

1473
01:16:22.380 --> 01:16:27.460
Oh, Hey, you know, just enjoy that fast metabolism while you have it. Because when you get older,

1474
01:16:27.460 --> 01:16:32.340
no matter what you eat, you even look at a cookie, you're going to gain 15 pounds. Right?

1475
01:16:32.340 --> 01:16:37.260
They tell us that and we never believe it. We're like, whatever, that's ridiculous. All

1476
01:16:37.260 --> 01:16:41.940
I got to do is just, you know, you got to run three miles a day and I'll be fit as a

1477
01:16:41.940 --> 01:16:46.860
fiddle. Well, that doesn't, that doesn't work anymore when you get older. Okay. All right.

1478
01:16:46.860 --> 01:16:52.580
So anyone else, uh, Paul said hair, Mike said he likes the woman who's fit or at least

1479
01:16:52.580 --> 01:16:59.860
takes care of herself, wants to be active. Anyone else? What do you notice about a woman?

1480
01:16:59.860 --> 01:17:06.220
Um, I think just the way she dresses, just like I wear just like, uh, like just the classiness

1481
01:17:06.220 --> 01:17:12.540
and I mean, it doesn't, yeah, I think that, um, yeah, just like, yeah, I think just the

1482
01:17:12.540 --> 01:17:21.140
way she dresses. Okay. So you like a classier woman, a woman who isn't always in torn up

1483
01:17:21.140 --> 01:17:26.060
jeans and a t-shirt, someone who, you know, carries herself a little more femininity.

1484
01:17:26.060 --> 01:17:33.100
Is that what I'm hearing? Ryan? Yes. And then, um, yeah, I think even just like accessories

1485
01:17:33.100 --> 01:17:38.060
and stuff, like just knows how to dress well, even though I don't, so I need to up my game

1486
01:17:38.060 --> 01:17:45.420
in that one, but okay. So even the accessories, even Ryan says, okay. So like jewelry and stuff.

1487
01:17:46.220 --> 01:17:51.740
Um, cool. Yeah, no, that's good. I like that you notice a woman who's well-dressed and that's

1488
01:17:51.740 --> 01:17:55.660
great. Anyone else have anything else that you, you know, really noticed about a woman

1489
01:17:55.660 --> 01:18:03.660
that really attracts you? Femininity is very attractive, you know, um, like, and women like,

1490
01:18:03.660 --> 01:18:09.340
you know, walking in, um, that's, it's funny how like a dress can make all the difference in the

1491
01:18:09.340 --> 01:18:14.700
world. Right. Like, I don't know. Uh, there's something like, but it is because it's feminine.

1492
01:18:14.700 --> 01:18:19.980
Right. And so, yeah, no, it's true. And I, you guys, just so you know, when women take dating

1493
01:18:19.980 --> 01:18:24.700
one-on-one and when they have their seven date challenge, they have, they have three other

1494
01:18:24.700 --> 01:18:31.740
challenges. And one of them is wear a dress challenge. You know, a lot of women, they don't,

1495
01:18:31.740 --> 01:18:35.820
cause you guys, when women wear dresses, there's a lot to go that goes into that. It's much easier

1496
01:18:35.820 --> 01:18:40.620
to throw on some leggings and a t-shirt or a sweatshirt, or, you know, even just a sweater

1497
01:18:40.620 --> 01:18:44.460
and a pair of jeans than it is to wear a dress. When we wear a dress, then we got all kinds of

1498
01:18:44.460 --> 01:18:49.100
different undergarments that we got to put on that different kinds of shoes that we got to wear.

1499
01:18:49.100 --> 01:18:53.900
Our hair has to be styled differently. If we have a dress on than if we have on something much more

1500
01:18:53.900 --> 01:18:58.300
casual than that. And of course there's casual dresses, but still when you put on a dress,

1501
01:18:58.300 --> 01:19:03.900
you automatically feel a lot, you feel dressed up. And so there's a lot that goes into that.

1502
01:19:03.900 --> 01:19:11.820
Okay. So, um, all right. I want you guys to take the seven date, that seven date challenge

1503
01:19:11.820 --> 01:19:16.540
seriously. I want you to be posting in the group. So you're, you're checking you guys,

1504
01:19:16.540 --> 01:19:20.860
you have a check-in that comes out every Sunday in the group. It's a post that just says, where

1505
01:19:20.860 --> 01:19:26.140
are you? What are you working on? You know, kind of thing. And so for those of you that are in the

1506
01:19:26.140 --> 01:19:29.900
dating challenge, which is all of you guys and all the guys that listen to this and replay

1507
01:19:30.620 --> 01:19:37.100
on that check-in every Sunday, I want you to, you know, give me an update on where you are,

1508
01:19:37.100 --> 01:19:42.780
how many dates you've been on, you know, if you're, if you're struggling and you,

1509
01:19:42.780 --> 01:19:46.380
and you haven't found a date, then I can get you a date.

1510
01:19:48.220 --> 01:19:54.220
That's the other thing I can help you to get a date. Uh, because I want all of you to,

1511
01:19:54.300 --> 01:19:57.260
I really feel like this could be a breakthrough for some of you.

1512
01:19:57.260 --> 01:19:59.980
Some of you have just been, you've been in this group for a while. You've been

1513
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.160
listening, you've been watching, you go to things like prayer and supernatural Saturday and all that,

1514
01:20:04.160 --> 01:20:11.520
but you have yet to really, you know, put yourself out there and, and really try to pursue any type

1515
01:20:11.520 --> 01:20:16.240
of connection with anyone. And I'm and I want that to change because even if they she doesn't end up

1516
01:20:16.240 --> 01:20:20.880
being your spirit mate, that could break the seal off this whole thing. All right. Okay.

1517
01:20:21.840 --> 01:20:26.320
There's such a thing as the one before the one, right? There's such a thing as the one before the

1518
01:20:26.320 --> 01:20:32.160
one before the one. And sometimes that's what we need. We just need some confidence restored to us

1519
01:20:32.160 --> 01:20:36.960
and we need some practice, so to speak. And so it's important that we get out there and do it.

1520
01:20:36.960 --> 01:20:41.280
All right. Sound good, everyone. All right. So the dating app is this week, right?

1521
01:20:42.560 --> 01:20:46.640
It's not a dating app, Hunter. It's a community app. And so all the things you do here in the

1522
01:20:46.640 --> 01:20:51.360
Facebook group are going to be on an app now, including some other things that allow you to

1523
01:20:51.360 --> 01:20:55.200
mingle with the women more, which is true. All right. So basically this week, huh?

1524
01:20:57.120 --> 01:21:02.480
This week, we'll post in your group and tell you guys how to, how to, how to migrate over there.

1525
01:21:02.480 --> 01:21:06.800
Okay. And you guys have a Facebook group. We'll leave a Facebook group open for a while, probably

1526
01:21:06.800 --> 01:21:11.920
like the next 90 days. And so if you ever get lost, you can always post a question here and

1527
01:21:11.920 --> 01:21:16.960
we'll make sure that, you know, that you get to where you need to be. Okay. Is this recorded,

1528
01:21:16.960 --> 01:21:23.440
Jackie? It is recorded. It's recorded you guys next Monday night. There'll be another link for

1529
01:21:23.440 --> 01:21:29.520
you guys that are in phase two. It will be online dating. So Renee will be teaching Matt. She's a

1530
01:21:29.520 --> 01:21:35.840
great teacher. She dated online for years before, you know, she just recently had success. She's in

1531
01:21:35.840 --> 01:21:42.960
a level three courtship right now, marriage minded relationship. And so she's going to give you lots

1532
01:21:42.960 --> 01:21:49.920
and lots of practical, practical things that you can do to try to really meet people online. If

1533
01:21:49.920 --> 01:21:54.560
that's what you're interested in doing. Okay. Be a great session, regardless of whether you're on

1534
01:21:54.560 --> 01:21:59.520
the apps or not. All right. So, okay. Appreciate you guys be watching for our posts to get on the

1535
01:21:59.520 --> 01:22:03.680
app. And then you guys, when you're on the app, if anything doesn't work, you, you know, hit a

1536
01:22:03.680 --> 01:22:08.400
button, you do this, you do that doesn't work. Please post in our Facebook group and say, Hey,

1537
01:22:08.400 --> 01:22:12.720
you know, this isn't working on the app. We're looking, we're really looking to you guys to

1538
01:22:12.720 --> 01:22:19.040
be like the beta testers. Okay. All right. Everyone see you soon. Seven days,

1539
01:22:19.040 --> 01:22:22.800
seven days, guys, a little less than seven weeks. See you soon. Bye everyone.