WEBVTT

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Hi, ladies.

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Happy Memorial Day.

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For those of you that are Americans.

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All right.

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Sorry.

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Let me try to get some better light here.

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Crazy, crazy light.

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Right.

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All right.

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How are you guys doing?

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You doing good?

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None of y'all have cookouts tonight.

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Nothing going on in your life tonight on Memorial Day.

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All right.

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Awesome.

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All right.

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Well, I am filling in tonight because all of our all of our team is off

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doing Memorial Day stuff eating brats and hamburgers and you know, doing

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all the America things to celebrate freedom with all of the people that

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have given their lives for that freedom.

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So in celebration of the people so yes, yes.

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Yes.

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So we're going to start looking to the Lord Father God.

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We're so thankful that we get to come here together tonight and that we

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get to hear from you.

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So we're asking that you would speak to us and through us tonight that

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we would open our minds and hearts and spirits to receive your greater

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truth about our lives and about our situations and we thank you for

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revelation in Jesus name.

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Amen.

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All right.

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So let me kind of take a little poll.

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So I know what we're dealing with tonight.

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So raise your hand at this is your first ever heart check-in.

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Your first ever heart check-in.

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You've never been to a coaching session.

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You're brand new to the program.

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All right.

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So help me with your name.

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Is it here?

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Help me.

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I know.

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I know.

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I know it's Irina Irina Irina.

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Okay, and in Detra, is that right?

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Detra Detra.

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Okay, Detra.

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Are you guys in week one then you just did week one?

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Yeah, I just did week one and I started week two.

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Okay, start week two.

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All right.

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Is anybody else here in week one?

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You're still in week one.

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Can I see all the hands of week one supernatural surrender ladies?

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All right, Tiffany's in week one Veronica's in week one.

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All right week two.

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Let's see who's in the week two materials right now.

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Who's working on week two?

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Stephanie is and Suzanne and Irina is and Detra and Yasmina.

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Did you raise your hand?

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No.

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Okay.

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All right, then week three.

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Who's in confession week?

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Who's in that confession week?

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Let's see your hands.

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All right, Pamela's there and Jessica Damaris and Karen.

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Jessica zoom user.

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I'm not sure what your name is.

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Stephanie Linda Johanna or Johanna.

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All right, and then week for forgiveness week.

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Let's see who's in the forgiveness week rocking out those forgiveness

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templates Lorraine looks like Lorraine is there Joanne is there Stephanie

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Ashley.

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All right, Michelle and then who is in week five who's about to graduate

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to phase two who's in there the real you week.

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Remember I said don't dye your hair purple and pierce your nose.

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Not quite yet got Diane.

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All right.

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Awesome.

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All right.

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So as you can see everyone in the group is in different places in the

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first phase and heart work, but a lot of you are in week one two and

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three.

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That's where a lot of you are kind of concentrated for this go-around

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and you guys are getting breakthroughs, right?

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You have revealings for healings things are happening.

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I know it's so great.

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Isn't it?

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So supernatural.

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I just love it.

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So I taught the earlier heart check-in as well and we really focused on

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confession.

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We ended up really focusing on week three and con confession and on

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empathy and on understanding that within community.

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It's really important that we get vulnerable.

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And so I want to encourage you guys as well.

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First of all, go back and listen to that session because it will be

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available in replay for those of you that are new your schedule in phase

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one is always the same on Mondays at 1 p.m.

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Eastern or 8 p.m.

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Eastern.

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There is a live coaching on this same link every single time.

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All right, so make sure that you are tuning in or you're listening to

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the replay and the replays can be found in your Facebook group and or

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on your Jackie Dorman.com portal.

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And so that's super important that you're listening to those replays.

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We cannot, you know, I saw a friend's child their young person yesterday.

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She just graduated from high school and I said, oh, hey, you're out of

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high school and I said, here's the thing that you need to know about

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college.

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I'm going to tell you no one's going to make you go.

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That's the thing you need to know about college, right?

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Because a lot of times you live on campus, which she's going to do.

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I said, it's going to be up to you whether or not you want to put in the

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work and whether you want.

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and bass, that's going to be up to you. And so, um, that's how this is as well. So on Mondays,

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you have those live sessions. You can watch the replays of those live sessions. But the other

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thing is show up in your group, show up to prayer. You have all of these different, beautiful prayer

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times, Monday through Sunday. And then Wednesday night, you have all these different things to

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choose from supernatural Saturday and Sunday night activation. We had an all prophetic night. Who

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came to that last night? Who was there for the all prophetic night? It was fire, right? It was so

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good. And, um, you want to make sure that you are just taking advantage of everything. Now,

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when you guys get to phase three, you will be on an app. You will be invited to an app.

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For those of you that said you're at face, you're, you're at week five of heartwork phase one. Um,

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and it's time when it's time for you to go into phase two, make sure that you're emailing us

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and asking us to move you. Now, when you get to the app, you won't have to do any of that

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because it will happen automatically. Okay. So that's good. All right. So you have to show up,

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you have to invest. God is here. He's inviting you. Let's go back to challenge. Remember song

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of songs to that scripture about the foxes. He said, will you catch the foxes for me?

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And then he said, Oh, for, you know what? On second thought, we'll do it together.

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And that is indicative of grace in a season for you to get free. And I believe that you are in

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a season of grace to get free from whatever's blocking you from a better life. The good,

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good life, the John 10 life in your love life, but also in your financial life and in your health

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life and in your relational life. Okay. In your spiritual life, drawing close to God,

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you know, understanding who you are and loving self, and then obviously having better

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and amazing relationships with others, including your spirit mate. And so this is the invitation

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that you're in right now. In this first part, phase one is the secret sauce. And when you get

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to phase two, you're going to have a lot of fun over there. You can have a dating challenge. A

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lot of people meet their person during that. You're going to have divine feminine and dating

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one-on-one because dating is so weird, right? It's not normal. It's not biblical. How do we

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do it as Christians? You're going to learn all that stuff over there in phase two, when you get

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there, and it's going to be just as fun as this phase. And you're going to continue to learn and

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do hard work all through the whole program as you go forward. All right. So for those of you that

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raised your hand that were in phase one, please make sure that you're not mailing a week one.

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I'm sorry. Don't make sure you're not mailing week one in that supernatural surrender,

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that permission slip. Make sure that you are looking at it, that you're praying that teach

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me, show me, heal me, grow me over yourself. That you're giving God space, that you're giving

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him the pen, that you're realizing that you cannot do anything anymore, that you've done your best,

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and now God has to do the rest. Right? We want a supernatural life. Who wants a supernatural

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life? Who's tired of what they can do themselves? You're just tired because you know. I know what

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I can accomplish myself and it's not a whole heck of a lot and I'm done with it. All right.

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That's a good place to be at the end of yourself is a good, good, good place to be. All right.

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And then the other thing is for those of you that are in phase two, you're going to start seeing

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and understanding how you're made, that you're a spirit that lives in a body that possesses a soul.

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And you're going to start deciding, okay. Or discerning is a better word. You're going to

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start discerning the things that are spirit and soul and body. Are you guys already seeing that

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happen? You're starting to discern, hey, that's my body that's doing that right now. My body is

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reacting to that for some reason. My soul, that soul part, that heart part of me, that master

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control that's keeping all the information, that's driving the truck right now. That's the thing

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that's in control right now. It's my soul part. And then you'll know when you're being led by the

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spirit. You guys, we want to be led by the spirit, don't we? When we're led by the spirit,

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then we can make the soul and the body get in line. Right? I'm going to tell you,

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anytime you use the words, well, I feel you're in your soul. You in your soul. All right. When

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you say that. And so what I want you to do, and I feel Holy spirit on this.

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When you say the words, well, I feel like, or I feel this. When you say that,

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I want you to immediately stop and train yourself that when you start talking about your feelings,

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which are good, God's created you to emote. He has, but feelings and emotions are not always

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the same thing. And when you say, I feel.

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Unhappy or I feel lonely or I feel discouraged or I feel this or I feel that whenever you are saying that I want

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You to stop and I want you to see

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What you're feeling what you're saying

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Want you to ask Holy Spirit to show you where it's coming from. Where is it rooted in?

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the soul in the heart part, right, especially if it's a negative feeling that you're having and

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And

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Doesn't line up with the spirit. Is it true?

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It doesn't matter if you feel it your feelings can lie to you. Remember the broken heart Jeremiah 17. It's a liar

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It's a pretender

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It's an imposter, isn't it?

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It's a puzzle

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And so we want to make sure that we're paying attention to what it's trying to invite us to do

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Because a lot of times almost all the times, you know

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These thoughts that we're having in our heart these triggers and a lot of times they're unconscious thoughts

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Guys, 98% of your life is unconscious. And so you're having these unconscious thoughts

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And

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They they kind of manifest as feelings and then those feelings turn into actions, right?

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That turn into some sort of consequence whether it's a good thing or a bad thing

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So we want to cut that process off at the thought to feeling

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We don't always know what our

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Hearts are thinking about until we start feeling

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And then when you start feeling that is when you start healing

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So we don't just feel the feels we heal the feels

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So we don't just feel the feels we heal the feels

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Now is this going to require you to become very self-aware a thousand percent

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Does that mean that you don't just to get to go off half-cocked and just feel however you want to and just speak however you

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want to because remember out of abundance with the overflow of the heart the mouth communicates and

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so when we start feeling we start speaking and

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And that's how you're gonna find out what's going on because you're gonna hear yourself being negative you're gonna hear yourself

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Singing the same old sad song and then you're like, wait a second

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How do I get here?

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How did I get here I got an invitation to a pity party and I and I checked I'm coming for sure

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Right

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Or I got invited to a fight with someone and I checked yep, I'll be there

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You guys I'm proud of myself because there's been several times lately just

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traveling when I'm already exhausted and overwhelmed when someone's just been a straight-up snot to me and they

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Invited me to a fight with them and I was like, man

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Especially

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At the airport because they will ban you and you will never fly again

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So you got to make sure that you keep your head on straight

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and

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And the thing is is that the people that work at the airport know that so I think sometimes they even if they're in

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They're having a bad day. They're trying to bait you right don't take the bait

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Do not take the bait because they're gonna be fine and you're gonna be on the no-fly list

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So make sure that that does not happen

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Amen

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But seriously, does anyone feel like there have been rogue emotions that have been surfacing?

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Trying to drag you down

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dark alleys of

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Just places you don't want to go who's been experiencing that

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Okay

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Whether it's trying to drag you into the past and drag you into oh

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I should have done this or I should have done that or this person shouldn't have done that trying to drag you into shame

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Trying to drag you into sin taking action on something because you are sick and tired of waiting for God to do it

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You can go do it yourself

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Right

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Yes, do you guys know that unbelief is a sin?

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Right fear is a sin when I found that out because I used to be like, well, I don't sin

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You know, I love Jesus and you know, and I don't sin because I was thinking why you know

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I don't drink and I mean

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I don't get drunk and I don't go out and do bad things and steal and kill and you know

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I'm thinking about all the big things right and then a mentor my life is like

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You know, are you afraid and I was like, yeah, he's like, well, that's a sin and I was like, oh oops

233
00:14:41.360 --> 00:14:45.120
But you guys is not about being sin conscious it's about being

234
00:14:45.920 --> 00:14:47.600
cross conscious

235
00:14:47.600 --> 00:14:55.040
The cross the finished work of the cross, right and so when we get drugged down these alleyways

236
00:14:55.360 --> 00:14:59.680
That's when we have to remember that Jesus died for us and he died as us

237
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:04.280
Instead of feeling bad about ourselves because we can't get it together,

238
00:15:04.280 --> 00:15:06.160
we remember, oh, that's right.

239
00:15:06.160 --> 00:15:07.420
I don't have to get it together.

240
00:15:07.420 --> 00:15:09.480
Jesus got it together for me on the cross.

241
00:15:09.480 --> 00:15:14.960
Now, what I need to do is I need to surrender to him, right?

242
00:15:15.200 --> 00:15:23.640
By grace, I can become who he's created me to be.

243
00:15:23.640 --> 00:15:25.760
I think Paul said it best.

244
00:15:25.760 --> 00:15:29.000
He said, oh, hey, you started this whole thing by faith.

245
00:15:29.000 --> 00:15:32.120
He said, are you now?

246
00:15:32.120 --> 00:15:34.000
He started it all by faith, by grace.

247
00:15:34.000 --> 00:15:36.760
He said, now, do you think you're going to be doing it?

248
00:15:37.000 --> 00:15:39.960
You're going to be made perfect by your flesh?

249
00:15:42.000 --> 00:15:44.040
You started this thing supernaturally.

250
00:15:44.040 --> 00:15:47.440
Do you think that now you're going to naturally finish it?

251
00:15:52.200 --> 00:15:52.700
Right?

252
00:15:52.700 --> 00:15:59.540
Guys, if you could get a hold of that, it would change your life.

253
00:16:01.060 --> 00:16:02.540
It would completely change your life.

254
00:16:03.660 --> 00:16:10.140
So many of you are in the sin shame cycle where you want to do right, even in your

255
00:16:10.140 --> 00:16:17.100
thinking and even in your speaking, but you don't, and that gives more ammunition

256
00:16:17.780 --> 00:16:23.620
to just continue, gives you that shame that actually leads to more of the bad

257
00:16:23.620 --> 00:16:24.580
behavior, right?

258
00:16:25.540 --> 00:16:26.540
That's what happens.

259
00:16:27.380 --> 00:16:31.940
We don't do what we need to do, and then we feel bad about it and feeling bad about

260
00:16:31.940 --> 00:16:32.060
it.

261
00:16:32.060 --> 00:16:37.300
The condemnation that comes from that actually creates more self-medicating and

262
00:16:37.300 --> 00:16:40.460
more bad behavior, unworthy behavior cycle.

263
00:16:43.620 --> 00:16:44.860
So let me see your medicators.

264
00:16:45.100 --> 00:16:46.580
We did that on the first call too.

265
00:16:47.460 --> 00:16:52.420
What are your self-medicators when you just start feeling negative and bad and you

266
00:16:52.420 --> 00:16:53.540
just want to escape?

267
00:16:53.980 --> 00:16:56.260
What is your poison?

268
00:16:56.260 --> 00:16:57.580
What is it that you like to do?

269
00:16:58.460 --> 00:16:59.940
Binge watch Netflix.

270
00:16:59.940 --> 00:17:00.460
What do you got?

271
00:17:00.580 --> 00:17:01.380
Put it in the chat.

272
00:17:05.500 --> 00:17:06.780
Social media.

273
00:17:06.940 --> 00:17:07.980
That's a hole, right?

274
00:17:08.020 --> 00:17:08.940
Can't get out of that hole.

275
00:17:08.940 --> 00:17:14.300
Once you get in TV, junk food shop, retail therapy for sure.

276
00:17:14.380 --> 00:17:14.780
Talk.

277
00:17:14.780 --> 00:17:15.140
Yep.

278
00:17:15.180 --> 00:17:16.380
Binge watch TV.

279
00:17:16.380 --> 00:17:18.020
Scrolling food.

280
00:17:18.020 --> 00:17:18.420
Eat things.

281
00:17:18.420 --> 00:17:19.220
I know we're bad.

282
00:17:19.780 --> 00:17:20.619
Daydream.

283
00:17:21.220 --> 00:17:21.819
Eat stuff.

284
00:17:21.819 --> 00:17:22.500
That's bad.

285
00:17:22.500 --> 00:17:23.819
Sex and alcohol.

286
00:17:24.540 --> 00:17:29.580
Video games, social media, isolation, isolate.

287
00:17:29.620 --> 00:17:29.940
Yeah.

288
00:17:33.260 --> 00:17:34.620
And here's the thing.

289
00:17:35.180 --> 00:17:41.660
If in those moments when we're just feeling so much pain, instead of doing those

290
00:17:41.660 --> 00:17:45.820
things, if we'll just come to the Lord, guys, we could get massive breakthrough.

291
00:17:46.020 --> 00:17:46.540
Right then.

292
00:17:47.580 --> 00:17:52.300
Instead of doing that, if you just come to the Lord and pour your heart out to him and

293
00:17:52.300 --> 00:17:56.460
just say, I'm so tired, Lord, I'm so overwhelmed.

294
00:17:57.940 --> 00:18:02.220
I'm so sick and tired of the same old, same old.

295
00:18:02.900 --> 00:18:04.780
I know that there's gotta be more to this life.

296
00:18:04.780 --> 00:18:06.900
I know that there's gotta be more to this situation.

297
00:18:06.900 --> 00:18:10.020
I don't understand why this won't change or that won't change or this person

298
00:18:10.020 --> 00:18:11.300
continues to torment me.

299
00:18:11.540 --> 00:18:14.900
Lord, I cannot do this anymore.

300
00:18:16.700 --> 00:18:24.380
And then grace shows up and then revelation shows up and then breakthrough

301
00:18:24.380 --> 00:18:33.220
shows up and then you have a Holy ghost party instead of doing anything that's on

302
00:18:33.220 --> 00:18:38.300
that list, all that's going to do is just put off a little longer, the inevitable.

303
00:18:38.300 --> 00:18:41.020
Cause we all know that you're going to end up flat on your face before the Lord

304
00:18:41.020 --> 00:18:41.780
sooner or later.

305
00:18:42.300 --> 00:18:43.620
So you might as well do it now.

306
00:18:46.060 --> 00:18:46.500
Right.

307
00:18:48.260 --> 00:18:50.500
Cause sooner or later, the medicators are not going to work.

308
00:18:50.500 --> 00:18:55.020
It's just going to get to such a high level of overwhelm that you're going to

309
00:18:55.020 --> 00:18:56.460
snot up the carpet with Jesus.

310
00:18:56.460 --> 00:18:57.940
So you might as well go ahead and do it now.

311
00:19:02.980 --> 00:19:07.300
My nanny, she passed away a few years ago, but she was 91 years old.

312
00:19:07.300 --> 00:19:13.540
And you know, when I was a little girl, you know, I, I, I wish I would have met

313
00:19:13.540 --> 00:19:17.220
Jesus back then, but when I was a little girl, I went and stayed a summer with her

314
00:19:17.260 --> 00:19:19.700
and she sang this song.

315
00:19:20.180 --> 00:19:27.100
Um, have a little talk with Jesus, you know, tell him all about your troubles.

316
00:19:27.340 --> 00:19:31.540
He will hear your faintest cry and he will answer by and by see the little

317
00:19:31.540 --> 00:19:32.740
prayer world turn in.

318
00:19:32.820 --> 00:19:34.260
No, a little fire is burning.

319
00:19:34.500 --> 00:19:36.820
Have a little talk with Jesus makes it right.

320
00:19:39.260 --> 00:19:42.580
I had no idea what that meant, but I will tell you I do now.

321
00:19:44.060 --> 00:19:44.700
I do now.

322
00:19:45.100 --> 00:19:47.740
And so I don't know who that's for, who that's for.

323
00:19:47.740 --> 00:19:49.660
Cause I'm sure it's for more than one person.

324
00:19:50.020 --> 00:19:54.100
Um, but one of the things that you have to begin to implement in your

325
00:19:54.100 --> 00:19:58.340
life is bringing it to him who made their Jesus cares board.

326
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:05.720
You guys, that Jesus Cares board came from a very dark time in my life when the Lord

327
00:20:05.720 --> 00:20:10.520
really showed me that I was very independent in trying to solve all my problems myself.

328
00:20:10.520 --> 00:20:14.560
You know, he spoke to me, he said, Jackie, who do you belong to?

329
00:20:14.560 --> 00:20:15.560
I belong to you, Lord.

330
00:20:15.560 --> 00:20:16.560
Okay.

331
00:20:16.560 --> 00:20:17.560
Who do your problems belong to?

332
00:20:17.560 --> 00:20:19.960
They belong to me, Lord.

333
00:20:19.960 --> 00:20:20.960
I created them.

334
00:20:20.960 --> 00:20:23.520
He said, well, if you belong to me, then your problems belong to me.

335
00:20:23.520 --> 00:20:24.520
And guess what?

336
00:20:24.520 --> 00:20:27.240
I don't have any problems.

337
00:20:27.240 --> 00:20:34.480
And that is when I realized that through communion with him, that I was trying to bear my own

338
00:20:34.480 --> 00:20:35.880
burdens.

339
00:20:35.880 --> 00:20:37.600
I was trying to figure out everything.

340
00:20:37.600 --> 00:20:44.680
I had a very orphan heart, okay, from my background, from being abandoned as a child, from being,

341
00:20:44.680 --> 00:20:48.520
you know, given away to a girl's home, from foster care, from all the things.

342
00:20:48.520 --> 00:20:52.000
I mean, I truly was an orphan for a season of my life.

343
00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:54.880
And that had carried over into my spiritual life.

344
00:20:54.880 --> 00:20:56.600
And a lot of you have the same situations.

345
00:20:56.960 --> 00:20:58.840
You've been abandoned by people.

346
00:20:58.840 --> 00:21:02.440
You've had so many seasons of your life and you didn't have anyone to rely on, but yourself

347
00:21:02.440 --> 00:21:03.440
and God.

348
00:21:03.440 --> 00:21:07.880
And so, and because God felt so distant, you ended up trying to just fix everything yourself.

349
00:21:07.880 --> 00:21:12.640
You were abandoned by husbands and friends and you know, all kinds of bad things have

350
00:21:12.640 --> 00:21:13.640
happened.

351
00:21:13.640 --> 00:21:17.240
And you guys, that, those habits die hard of just relying on yourself.

352
00:21:17.240 --> 00:21:19.800
So I really want you to be focused on those Jesus cares board.

353
00:21:19.800 --> 00:21:22.960
I can't tell you how many times I put stuff up there.

354
00:21:22.960 --> 00:21:24.360
And then when I see it, I pray over it.

355
00:21:24.360 --> 00:21:25.360
I give it back to the Lord.

356
00:21:25.360 --> 00:21:28.760
And every time I start to worry about it again, I remind myself that I've given it

357
00:21:28.760 --> 00:21:32.240
to him and that he's promised to take care of it for me.

358
00:21:32.240 --> 00:21:35.200
And if he needs my help, he'll let me know.

359
00:21:35.200 --> 00:21:40.640
Now y'all, I don't put stuff up there that I know that I need to take care of.

360
00:21:40.640 --> 00:21:41.640
That's a cop-out.

361
00:21:41.640 --> 00:21:46.200
I don't put stuff up there that I know I need to take care of, right?

362
00:21:46.200 --> 00:21:49.640
I can ask God to help me, to give me grace, to do what I need to do.

363
00:21:49.640 --> 00:21:52.240
I do my part, right?

364
00:21:52.240 --> 00:21:59.680
I do my best, but then I rest and I let God do the rest because there's a lot of stuff

365
00:21:59.680 --> 00:22:01.040
that you cannot do.

366
00:22:01.040 --> 00:22:03.160
His part is supernatural.

367
00:22:03.160 --> 00:22:06.320
You do your part and he does his.

368
00:22:06.320 --> 00:22:07.320
And your love story is supernatural.

369
00:22:07.320 --> 00:22:10.800
I just want to release that every all tonight.

370
00:22:10.800 --> 00:22:11.800
It's supernatural.

371
00:22:11.800 --> 00:22:15.920
There are some things that you're going to be required to do, but there are other things

372
00:22:15.920 --> 00:22:17.400
that only God can do.

373
00:22:17.400 --> 00:22:21.240
Only he can do it.

374
00:22:21.240 --> 00:22:25.920
Proverbs says, he's the one that's going to open up your future husband's eyes and

375
00:22:25.920 --> 00:22:29.040
let him see you as a wife.

376
00:22:29.040 --> 00:22:31.880
Proverbs 18.22.

377
00:22:31.880 --> 00:22:35.480
You can't make him do that.

378
00:22:35.480 --> 00:22:38.800
You can't make him do that by wearing a little bit lower cut shirt.

379
00:22:38.800 --> 00:22:46.240
You can't do that by, you know, doing whatever he wants you to do, submitting and just being

380
00:22:46.240 --> 00:22:49.000
so ladylike and proper and great and wonderful.

381
00:22:49.000 --> 00:22:50.000
Okay.

382
00:22:50.000 --> 00:22:53.000
If that's who you really are, then, okay, do that.

383
00:22:53.000 --> 00:22:59.840
But that isn't going to win you a husband, right?

384
00:22:59.840 --> 00:23:06.920
God has to open that man's eyes and show him that you are his suitable partner, that you're

385
00:23:06.920 --> 00:23:11.000
his good thing, but you know what you can do?

386
00:23:11.000 --> 00:23:15.720
So if it's a man's job to find you, it's just your job to be found.

387
00:23:15.720 --> 00:23:17.680
Your job is just to be found.

388
00:23:17.680 --> 00:23:22.800
That means you can't sit in your jammies on your couch and binge Netflix and play video

389
00:23:22.800 --> 00:23:26.440
games and eat a bunch of junk food and shop online.

390
00:23:26.440 --> 00:23:28.600
Whatever it was, you put yourself medicators.

391
00:23:28.600 --> 00:23:36.960
You got to go outside as your best self and when you get to phase two, you're going to

392
00:23:36.960 --> 00:23:41.840
have a dating challenge and you're going to see, but you got to show up as your best self.

393
00:23:41.840 --> 00:23:48.160
You got to be in the right place at the right time with the right heart and then God will

394
00:23:48.160 --> 00:23:49.160
do the rest.

395
00:23:49.160 --> 00:23:54.280
You guys, we used to, we were getting engagement announcements every week, but lately we've

396
00:23:54.280 --> 00:23:57.360
been getting them every day.

397
00:23:57.360 --> 00:23:59.400
I don't know if it's just because it's summertime.

398
00:23:59.400 --> 00:24:05.640
I don't know, but I'm just telling you popcorn's a pop it.

399
00:24:05.640 --> 00:24:11.120
But what all those women have in common is this phase of the program, right?

400
00:24:11.120 --> 00:24:13.680
And all of you are going to have different things to work on.

401
00:24:13.680 --> 00:24:18.840
All right, so vulnerability, who does it well?

402
00:24:18.840 --> 00:24:20.920
Which one of you raise your hand?

403
00:24:20.920 --> 00:24:21.920
Who does vulnerability?

404
00:24:21.920 --> 00:24:25.760
Well, you don't have any problems sharing, letting people in.

405
00:24:25.760 --> 00:24:27.040
You trust people.

406
00:24:27.040 --> 00:24:30.760
Well, you don't overtrust them, but you don't under trust them.

407
00:24:30.760 --> 00:24:31.760
Right?

408
00:24:31.760 --> 00:24:32.760
Yeah.

409
00:24:32.760 --> 00:24:33.760
Yeah.

410
00:24:33.760 --> 00:24:34.760
Mina.

411
00:24:34.760 --> 00:24:35.760
She says she does.

412
00:24:35.760 --> 00:24:36.760
Pamela thinks she does.

413
00:24:36.760 --> 00:24:38.520
Nadine said, I do.

414
00:24:38.520 --> 00:24:40.720
All right, that's good.

415
00:24:40.720 --> 00:24:42.360
And I want you to be vulnerable in this group.

416
00:24:42.360 --> 00:24:46.440
You guys, you have to show up for each other.

417
00:24:46.440 --> 00:24:51.600
Your breakthrough creates breakthrough for others in your group, in your page, post things.

418
00:24:51.600 --> 00:24:52.600
Where are you at?

419
00:24:52.600 --> 00:24:53.600
What are your breakthroughs?

420
00:24:53.600 --> 00:24:54.640
Where are you stuck?

421
00:24:54.640 --> 00:24:55.640
Make sure you do it.

422
00:24:55.640 --> 00:24:59.320
For those of you that are in the confession week, confess in there.

423
00:24:59.320 --> 00:25:00.040
Let it be a confession.

424
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:02.000
You know, this is a safe space.

425
00:25:02.000 --> 00:25:05.000
You don't have to worry about that.

426
00:25:05.000 --> 00:25:06.000
It's a safe space.

427
00:25:06.000 --> 00:25:28.000
All right. So, let me see.

428
00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:32.000
All right.

429
00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:35.000
How many are on here? 50?

430
00:25:35.000 --> 00:25:38.000
We're going to stay in this main group.

431
00:25:38.000 --> 00:25:41.000
It doesn't look like I have the permission to put you in breakouts.

432
00:25:41.000 --> 00:25:44.000
We're going to share.

433
00:25:44.000 --> 00:25:47.000
I would love for you to keep your shares under 90 seconds long.

434
00:25:47.000 --> 00:25:52.000
So everyone who wants to share can share.

435
00:25:52.000 --> 00:25:55.000
I want you to share what is the biggest breakthrough you've had up to

436
00:25:55.000 --> 00:25:56.000
this point.

437
00:25:56.000 --> 00:25:58.000
And if you can just share what is your,

438
00:25:58.000 --> 00:25:59.000
your, your biggest.

439
00:25:59.000 --> 00:26:03.000
Aha.

440
00:26:03.000 --> 00:26:05.000
Revealing for healing breakthrough that you've had so far.

441
00:26:05.000 --> 00:26:10.000
Okay, Pamela, you want to go.

442
00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:18.000
Hi.

443
00:26:18.000 --> 00:26:21.000
So I had done quite a bit of work before I started this challenge and

444
00:26:21.000 --> 00:26:22.000
I really love it.

445
00:26:22.000 --> 00:26:26.000
But I had a family member that confided in me when I was a child.

446
00:26:26.000 --> 00:26:34.000
And I had struggled with it because it didn't happen to me.

447
00:26:34.000 --> 00:26:38.000
But it happened to a family member that confided in me when we were

448
00:26:38.000 --> 00:26:39.000
children.

449
00:26:39.000 --> 00:26:42.000
And I grew up in a household of secrets.

450
00:26:42.000 --> 00:26:44.000
So she told me a secret.

451
00:26:44.000 --> 00:26:49.000
So I kept the secret.

452
00:26:49.000 --> 00:26:52.000
And I told the secret to my mom, my mom, my mom,

453
00:26:52.000 --> 00:26:55.000
my mom, my mom, my mom, my mom, my mom.

454
00:26:55.000 --> 00:26:58.000
And my mom and her were part of the secret and they allowed it and he

455
00:26:58.000 --> 00:26:59.000
didn't do anything.

456
00:26:59.000 --> 00:27:00.000
Wow.

457
00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:02.000
They felt really, really bad about it.

458
00:27:02.000 --> 00:27:04.000
And I work with a nonprofit.

459
00:27:04.000 --> 00:27:06.000
Group that rescues children.

460
00:27:06.000 --> 00:27:08.000
The sex track from sex trafficking.

461
00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:10.000
So.

462
00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:14.000
I was a child.

463
00:27:14.000 --> 00:27:15.000
And I had a lot of memories,

464
00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:18.000
things that I had forgot about. I never talked about it.

465
00:27:18.000 --> 00:27:24.000
I grew up as an only child. So there was nobody to talk to.

466
00:27:24.000 --> 00:27:25.000
So I just held it all in.

467
00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:28.000
And even when I was going through therapy and having breakthroughs and

468
00:27:28.000 --> 00:27:29.000
doing, you know, before this.

469
00:27:29.000 --> 00:27:31.000
I never talked about that.

470
00:27:31.000 --> 00:27:33.000
And of course it affected me and my relationships.

471
00:27:33.000 --> 00:27:37.000
And so.

472
00:27:37.000 --> 00:27:40.000
You know, and I had to realize I was a child because I felt so guilty

473
00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:41.000
for my cousin.

474
00:27:41.000 --> 00:27:43.000
She had, she struggled in her life.

475
00:27:43.000 --> 00:27:46.000
And but.

476
00:27:46.000 --> 00:27:47.000
You know,

477
00:27:47.000 --> 00:27:50.000
and I'm praying to God to make her latter years better than her former.

478
00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:51.000
And he can do that.

479
00:27:51.000 --> 00:27:53.000
Amen.

480
00:27:53.000 --> 00:27:56.000
So did you get to the part of the materials about secrets?

481
00:27:56.000 --> 00:27:57.000
No.

482
00:27:57.000 --> 00:27:58.000
Oh, well it's in there.

483
00:27:58.000 --> 00:28:00.000
I could write the whole chapter.

484
00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:01.000
Yeah.

485
00:28:01.000 --> 00:28:03.000
What week are you in right now?

486
00:28:03.000 --> 00:28:05.000
I'm finishing three.

487
00:28:06.000 --> 00:28:13.000
Okay.

488
00:28:13.000 --> 00:28:14.000
Okay.

489
00:28:14.000 --> 00:28:17.000
So you're going to get to the place where it talks about secrets and it

490
00:28:17.000 --> 00:28:19.000
talks about how dangerous they are.

491
00:28:19.000 --> 00:28:21.000
And, you know, and so wait, so everyone put your hand out.

492
00:28:21.000 --> 00:28:23.000
I know everyone wants to share that has their hands up.

493
00:28:23.000 --> 00:28:24.000
Put them down. Someone take a little poll.

494
00:28:24.000 --> 00:28:33.000
I want you to raise your hand based on your sister, Pamela's share.

495
00:28:33.000 --> 00:28:35.000
Okay.

496
00:28:35.000 --> 00:28:36.000
Yeah, yeah.

497
00:28:36.000 --> 00:28:39.000
So Pamela's is very.

498
00:28:39.000 --> 00:28:40.000
Just.

499
00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:43.000
You know, very detrimental and very destructive.

500
00:28:43.000 --> 00:28:44.000
All right.

501
00:28:44.000 --> 00:28:45.000
See, look at all those hands.

502
00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:46.000
Yeah.

503
00:28:46.000 --> 00:28:47.000
The enemy loves secrets.

504
00:28:47.000 --> 00:28:48.000
Y'all.

505
00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:52.000
He loves secrets. You know why? Because they create isolation.

506
00:28:52.000 --> 00:28:55.000
You know,

507
00:28:55.000 --> 00:28:58.000
I was a child from the age of two around two years old till I was 10

508
00:28:58.000 --> 00:29:00.000
years old, almost 11.

509
00:29:00.000 --> 00:29:03.000
And I had to keep that secret.

510
00:29:03.000 --> 00:29:05.000
Right.

511
00:29:05.000 --> 00:29:06.000
I had to keep that secret and I didn't have to,

512
00:29:06.000 --> 00:29:11.000
but I felt like I had to because I didn't want to ruin my family.

513
00:29:11.000 --> 00:29:12.000
I didn't want to hurt.

514
00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:14.000
Cause I was being molested by a family member by my grandfather,

515
00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:15.000
actually.

516
00:29:15.000 --> 00:29:19.000
And I had to keep that secret.

517
00:29:19.000 --> 00:29:23.000
And it was, it was eating me alive. Secrets will destroy you.

518
00:29:23.000 --> 00:29:24.000
They will kill you.

519
00:29:24.000 --> 00:29:28.000
They're like a cancer, right? There's eat, they eat you.

520
00:29:28.000 --> 00:29:33.000
And so this is a safe space to tell your secrets.

521
00:29:33.000 --> 00:29:37.000
My mom told me a secret about herself before she passed away.

522
00:29:37.000 --> 00:29:39.000
She had never told anyone.

523
00:29:39.000 --> 00:29:42.000
And I just wish that my mom would have felt safe enough to tell that

524
00:29:42.000 --> 00:29:45.000
secret years and years and years before, because I think that.

525
00:29:45.000 --> 00:29:50.000
That secret is part of the reason why she lost her life.

526
00:29:51.000 --> 00:29:54.000
So let's just make, let's make a pact with each other. All right.

527
00:29:54.000 --> 00:29:56.000
Bad vows are bad, but good vows are good. Let's.

528
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.360
make a vow, let's make a pact with each other that we aren't going to be, we're not going

529
00:30:04.360 --> 00:30:08.360
to be, um, secret keepers, right?

530
00:30:08.360 --> 00:30:14.080
We're not, we're ready to tell our truth, God's truth.

531
00:30:14.080 --> 00:30:15.080
We are honorably, right?

532
00:30:15.080 --> 00:30:20.560
We're going to speak the truth and love, but we're not going to, we're not going to turn

533
00:30:20.560 --> 00:30:21.560
a blind eye.

534
00:30:21.560 --> 00:30:22.880
We're not going to be secret keepers.

535
00:30:22.880 --> 00:30:26.160
A lot of us, those secrets started as children and there was nothing we could do about it.

536
00:30:26.160 --> 00:30:31.120
We felt out of control of being able to do anything, right?

537
00:30:31.120 --> 00:30:33.860
But we are not going to do that as we go forward.

538
00:30:33.860 --> 00:30:40.960
We're going to be vulnerable and we're going to James five 16 confess and be healed.

539
00:30:40.960 --> 00:30:47.640
Even if like Pamela, it wasn't anything that we did, but for whatever reason we've been

540
00:30:47.640 --> 00:30:54.160
asked to look away, I want you to raise your hand.

541
00:30:54.160 --> 00:31:01.320
If you experience some sort of sexual violation or abuse, molestation at the hands of a family

542
00:31:01.320 --> 00:31:07.400
member, a sibling, you know, a grandparent and I had an uncle, you know, someone who

543
00:31:07.400 --> 00:31:12.920
was like family, like a honorary uncle, you know, people that you call your aunts or uncles

544
00:31:12.920 --> 00:31:21.840
or grandparents that weren't, but just someone within your family circle has a lot of hands.

545
00:31:21.840 --> 00:31:27.120
And then raise your hand if you just experienced some sort of sexual violation or some other

546
00:31:27.120 --> 00:31:32.360
type of abuse, just in general, not from a family member, but just period, you just experienced

547
00:31:32.360 --> 00:31:35.440
it, right?

548
00:31:35.440 --> 00:31:36.960
So that's a lot more people.

549
00:31:36.960 --> 00:31:37.960
Okay.

550
00:31:37.960 --> 00:31:41.760
So oftentimes, especially if you're a child, you're going to be asked to keep that secret,

551
00:31:41.760 --> 00:31:43.240
right?

552
00:31:43.240 --> 00:31:44.240
Or you're going to be threatened.

553
00:31:44.240 --> 00:31:47.280
You're not even asked to keep a secret, but you're just threatened, right?

554
00:31:47.280 --> 00:31:50.960
You better not tell or whatever.

555
00:31:51.080 --> 00:31:53.600
People are going to not love you anymore.

556
00:31:53.600 --> 00:31:55.440
You're going to get kicked out of the family.

557
00:31:55.440 --> 00:32:02.240
You know, all the different crazy lies that predators tell us in order to keep us silent,

558
00:32:02.240 --> 00:32:06.480
but we are silent no more, are we?

559
00:32:06.480 --> 00:32:10.240
Thank goodness that we live in a day and age where children that are being abused have

560
00:32:10.240 --> 00:32:15.640
a forum to speak up, right, right.

561
00:32:15.640 --> 00:32:16.640
So that's good.

562
00:32:16.640 --> 00:32:18.040
Pamela, thank you for that.

563
00:32:18.120 --> 00:32:24.040
So if any of, if any of you are still holding onto a secret and you really, really want

564
00:32:24.040 --> 00:32:26.960
to release it, you can release it here tonight.

565
00:32:26.960 --> 00:32:32.400
We would love to be the safe space for you to get that off your chest and finally out

566
00:32:32.400 --> 00:32:33.400
of your life.

567
00:32:33.400 --> 00:32:37.640
Because I'm telling you, when you break your silence, it causes breakthrough.

568
00:32:37.640 --> 00:32:39.640
Okay.

569
00:32:39.640 --> 00:32:43.880
And or find someone trusted in your community to tell if that's what you want to do, but

570
00:32:43.880 --> 00:32:47.480
get vulnerable because you have to release that thing.

571
00:32:47.920 --> 00:32:49.920
That's like a powder keg waiting for a spark.

572
00:32:49.920 --> 00:32:51.960
You hear me?

573
00:32:51.960 --> 00:32:53.680
Secrets are powder kegs waiting for a spark.

574
00:32:53.680 --> 00:32:59.280
And you do not want that to blow up in your life and cause dis-ease and disease in your

575
00:32:59.280 --> 00:33:00.280
body.

576
00:33:00.280 --> 00:33:02.880
You don't want it to cause mental and emotional health issues.

577
00:33:02.880 --> 00:33:04.320
You don't want it to cause chaos.

578
00:33:04.320 --> 00:33:07.000
You want to get it out.

579
00:33:07.000 --> 00:33:08.000
Better out than in.

580
00:33:08.000 --> 00:33:10.960
When I did that, did y'all see my high beddies?

581
00:33:10.960 --> 00:33:15.360
I went, and then my, my, my arm was flapping.

582
00:33:15.360 --> 00:33:16.360
All right.

583
00:33:16.360 --> 00:33:17.360
I love it.

584
00:33:18.240 --> 00:33:19.240
Okay.

585
00:33:19.240 --> 00:33:20.240
Stephanie, you're up.

586
00:33:20.240 --> 00:33:21.240
That's it.

587
00:33:21.240 --> 00:33:22.240
We've got the high beddies, all of us.

588
00:33:22.240 --> 00:33:23.240
All right.

589
00:33:23.240 --> 00:33:24.240
You guys, I've been working on those.

590
00:33:24.240 --> 00:33:25.240
They just, I don't know.

591
00:33:25.240 --> 00:33:26.240
They just don't get tight.

592
00:33:26.240 --> 00:33:27.240
All right.

593
00:33:27.240 --> 00:33:28.240
Stephanie, what do you have?

594
00:33:28.240 --> 00:33:31.440
There are actually quite a few Stephanie's tonight, so I didn't know if you meant me

595
00:33:31.440 --> 00:33:32.440
or not.

596
00:33:32.440 --> 00:33:33.440
Yeah.

597
00:33:33.440 --> 00:33:34.440
I do mean you.

598
00:33:34.440 --> 00:33:35.440
Okay.

599
00:33:35.440 --> 00:33:38.360
So my, mine was a secret for years.

600
00:33:38.360 --> 00:33:44.000
I had an affair with my pastors, with my best friend's husband, who was my pastor.

601
00:33:44.000 --> 00:33:47.360
We, I was with him for seven years.

602
00:33:47.360 --> 00:33:51.960
I never told, I didn't tell anybody for a long, long time.

603
00:33:51.960 --> 00:33:57.220
I actually kind of then went out and did weird things and told weird, it was weird to tell

604
00:33:57.220 --> 00:34:02.320
people at work who did not have any understanding of what had happened.

605
00:34:02.320 --> 00:34:06.160
Can I ask one question before you say anything more?

606
00:34:06.160 --> 00:34:12.300
So and this, I just want you to answer this question.

607
00:34:12.300 --> 00:34:21.940
Looking back, do you feel like there was any, there was any spiritual, when someone's

608
00:34:21.940 --> 00:34:28.260
a pastor, that spiritual authority, do you feel like there was any manipulation from

609
00:34:28.260 --> 00:34:32.900
a spiritual place that caused you to want to be, I'm not listening, I'm not giving you

610
00:34:32.900 --> 00:34:33.900
a pass.

611
00:34:33.900 --> 00:34:34.980
Thank you for confessing.

612
00:34:34.980 --> 00:34:36.820
And I know that you're owning your side of the street.

613
00:34:36.820 --> 00:34:41.500
And I know that you feel very remorseful for what you've done, but was there spiritual

614
00:34:41.540 --> 00:34:43.620
coercion there at all?

615
00:34:43.620 --> 00:34:47.179
Did you feel any type of anything like that?

616
00:34:47.179 --> 00:34:48.179
I don't think so.

617
00:34:48.179 --> 00:34:51.739
I, I have gone through this with the, I read the hope.

618
00:34:51.739 --> 00:34:55.179
I went through the hope section, the hope when you did that thing on hope.

619
00:34:55.179 --> 00:34:59.820
And I realized that I, he asked me to go out one night with him and I,

620
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:06.360
Felt special and it related all back to something when I was in sixth grade and as I haven't understood all that but

621
00:35:07.160 --> 00:35:11.920
What I wanted to share something. Did you feel special because he was your pastor?

622
00:35:14.480 --> 00:35:18.000
Maybe okay. All right. Keep talking. Okay, so

623
00:35:19.160 --> 00:35:20.960
I have

624
00:35:20.960 --> 00:35:26.600
Confessed this I actually have confessed it in front of Christians within the last year and

625
00:35:26.600 --> 00:35:33.680
And some of those people thought I was very brave. Some people just judged me and that's their problem. Not mine, I guess

626
00:35:34.640 --> 00:35:36.640
But I came here

627
00:35:37.280 --> 00:35:41.080
still having deep deep regrets and shame and

628
00:35:42.880 --> 00:35:44.880
The first night I

629
00:35:45.240 --> 00:35:51.400
Think I shared with a few people here that I asked God. What was my main lie? What was what was holding me back and

630
00:35:52.360 --> 00:35:55.280
the lie was I am unforgivable and

631
00:35:57.080 --> 00:36:02.600
When I realized that was a lie and that God had Jesus had already forgiven me I will tell you the last two weeks

632
00:36:03.440 --> 00:36:09.440
Have been I'm a different person like I don't feel that shame. I love it

633
00:36:09.880 --> 00:36:14.520
So that is and I told God if I don't

634
00:36:15.040 --> 00:36:18.120
Experience anything else in this phase one

635
00:36:18.680 --> 00:36:23.980
That would be enough for me because I feel like I can live now. Oh that listen

636
00:36:23.980 --> 00:36:29.220
That's huge because now and I want to tell you this Stephanie when you get into the dating phase

637
00:36:30.340 --> 00:36:36.100
Even though this is part of your public testimony, like you said, and I'm sure that God will use it to help others

638
00:36:37.020 --> 00:36:43.940
Eventually in different ways. This is not something that you need to tell men as you're getting to know them. Thank you

639
00:36:43.940 --> 00:36:46.900
I was wondering about that. I'm gonna get a lot about that

640
00:36:47.100 --> 00:36:53.140
You do not need and for all of you that you know had some sort of you know affair

641
00:36:53.300 --> 00:36:58.440
Maybe you're the villain of your story where you're the person who cheated and you're the person that did whatever

642
00:36:58.540 --> 00:37:03.020
You do not have to disclose that information to anyone as you're getting to know them

643
00:37:03.020 --> 00:37:07.300
I know that we have this desire to kind of layer all of our cards on the table

644
00:37:07.300 --> 00:37:12.380
So whether they'll just you know cut and run or you know, whatever and so you do not need to do that

645
00:37:12.380 --> 00:37:16.860
And you'll hear more and more coaching about you know, when and if to ever

646
00:37:17.460 --> 00:37:22.180
Tell things about your past in phase two. All right. Thank you so much Stephanie for sharing that

647
00:37:22.180 --> 00:37:26.700
I'm sorry. I share one one more quick thing. Sure. I because you're talking about being vulnerable

648
00:37:26.820 --> 00:37:34.020
so I shared that I had I shared the lie and my revelation with my daughter and

649
00:37:35.140 --> 00:37:41.580
She and when I was at her house, and she wrote to me. Thank you for sharing with me last night about your forgiveness journey

650
00:37:41.580 --> 00:37:48.060
I don't know if I've ever clearly communicated that I forgive you, but if not I do I

651
00:37:48.820 --> 00:37:53.340
Hope you can find true peace and forgiveness after getting over this last huge lie

652
00:37:54.020 --> 00:37:59.460
Wow, I love that for you. Yeah, that was awesome. That is so awesome

653
00:38:00.700 --> 00:38:05.540
So many more good things are gonna happen Stephanie. I'm so happy for you. All right, Yamina, you're up

654
00:38:10.580 --> 00:38:13.460
Hi Jackie, hi, thank you

655
00:38:14.060 --> 00:38:20.860
So I did a couple of days ago well actually last week towards the end the revealing for healing

656
00:38:21.940 --> 00:38:27.060
Worksheet and I had um, you know several words, but one of the main words that kept on

657
00:38:27.700 --> 00:38:29.340
has been

658
00:38:29.340 --> 00:38:33.580
kind of I guess haunting me for several years now is abandoned and

659
00:38:34.460 --> 00:38:41.100
When I went through the worksheet of the cycle where it asked when did this first show up obviously?

660
00:38:41.740 --> 00:38:45.020
You know, it's when my late husband passed away

661
00:38:46.460 --> 00:38:48.460
and then I

662
00:38:50.860 --> 00:38:54.500
The story that I was telling myself is I'm always going to be alone and

663
00:38:56.540 --> 00:39:00.020
After that I sat in you know

664
00:39:00.940 --> 00:39:02.220
really

665
00:39:02.220 --> 00:39:05.540
meditated, you know in the quiet with the Lord and

666
00:39:05.660 --> 00:39:12.460
He just I heard in that my spirit you were not abandoned he you know came home to me

667
00:39:14.140 --> 00:39:16.980
After that, I looked up Bible verses to

668
00:39:18.060 --> 00:39:19.580
from

669
00:39:19.580 --> 00:39:22.980
Me to speak over myself that were very helpful

670
00:39:22.980 --> 00:39:30.580
I went to it the Lord took me to Psalm 68 5 a father to the fatherless a defender of the widows is God

671
00:39:30.580 --> 00:39:37.260
In his holy dwelling and then on John 14 to 3 and my father's house. There are many mansions

672
00:39:37.940 --> 00:39:44.100
rooms if it were not so I would have told you I go to prepare a place for you and I will come again and

673
00:39:44.100 --> 00:39:51.220
Receive you to myself that where I am there. You will be also and so that that gave me peace because I know

674
00:39:52.180 --> 00:39:57.380
That my late husband is with the Lord and and that's what keeps me going because I will see him one day

675
00:39:57.380 --> 00:39:59.380
You

676
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:08.000
Um, but anyways, that was big for me because I was telling that story to myself for quite some time.

677
00:40:08.800 --> 00:40:14.080
And that's so good. You guys pay attention to what she's saying right now. She's saying,

678
00:40:14.080 --> 00:40:19.280
I was telling myself that story. Yes. You guys, we all tell ourselves stories that are not true.

679
00:40:19.920 --> 00:40:25.120
And so Holy Spirit wants to highlight, he wants to actually stop you as you're telling yourself

680
00:40:25.120 --> 00:40:29.920
the story wants to stop you in mid sentence as you're getting a revelation that, wait a minute,

681
00:40:30.640 --> 00:40:36.720
this isn't true. This thing that I'm telling myself, she wasn't abandoned. Her husband got

682
00:40:36.720 --> 00:40:42.240
another assignment. He got another assignment. He went on to his next assignment. He's not in

683
00:40:42.240 --> 00:40:48.320
her past. He's in her future. Yes. Right. And although we'll never stop missing their presence

684
00:40:48.320 --> 00:40:52.080
here on earth with us, you know, I lost, you know, it's just, as I was getting to know my

685
00:40:52.080 --> 00:40:57.200
mother, I lost her and, you know, to heaven, to her next assignment. And cause you guys,

686
00:40:57.200 --> 00:41:01.920
you know, that death doesn't exist anymore, right? Jesus took the keys of death and how death,

687
00:41:01.920 --> 00:41:05.680
when we say that people die, we're actually lying. Oh, well they died. No, they didn't.

688
00:41:06.480 --> 00:41:11.520
They didn't die. They transitioned out of this body, but they didn't die because death is not

689
00:41:11.520 --> 00:41:20.400
real. There's only eternal life. Life is eternal now. And so her husband is alive and well, he's

690
00:41:20.400 --> 00:41:28.560
just not alive in this, in this, um, paradigm and the earth paradigm. He's not, he's not visible.

691
00:41:28.560 --> 00:41:34.080
I should say in the earth paradigm, he can see her, but she can't see him. And so it's important

692
00:41:34.080 --> 00:41:38.560
to understand that her assignment's not over yet, which means she needs a partner.

693
00:41:41.040 --> 00:41:48.400
Right. But it's a continuation of a love story that already is in progress. Yes.

694
00:41:48.400 --> 00:41:54.160
And we have so many, we have so many widows, Yamina, that find that next partner through

695
00:41:54.160 --> 00:42:00.640
this program. And so, and I know that your husband is, is interceding for that for you.

696
00:42:01.280 --> 00:42:07.360
Yes, I believe that. And one more thing, um, Jackie, if I may. So this afternoon I was watching

697
00:42:07.440 --> 00:42:17.520
the, your, the Sunday prophecy for, um, April 28th. And this goes on the heels of, of the,

698
00:42:17.520 --> 00:42:23.360
what I, uh, with the, uh, the revealing for healing, you said in there, I was, um,

699
00:42:23.920 --> 00:42:30.240
I was in shock. You said in there that for whoever this is for, you couldn't have saved them.

700
00:42:30.640 --> 00:42:37.680
You need to go over. You don't need to go over and over reliving the past. I should have,

701
00:42:38.480 --> 00:42:46.000
or I could have, it was not in my power to change what happened and they are safe with Jesus. So let

702
00:42:46.000 --> 00:42:54.160
go now. Jesus is the hero of the story. And I needed to hear that more than you'll ever know,

703
00:42:54.160 --> 00:43:00.160
because, um, my husband was sick for seven years and I took care of him. And, um, I,

704
00:43:00.160 --> 00:43:04.560
I was beating myself up that I didn't do enough. So thank you for that.

705
00:43:05.520 --> 00:43:10.000
You're welcome. That was for me too, because I felt the same way. What should I have done

706
00:43:10.000 --> 00:43:16.160
differently for my mom? You know, we have to understand you guys that they actually,

707
00:43:16.160 --> 00:43:22.640
while we're feeling sorry for them because they've, you know, transitioned, we, we're the

708
00:43:22.640 --> 00:43:27.600
ones that really should be felt sorry for, right. Cause we're the ones that are not in the presence

709
00:43:27.600 --> 00:43:31.840
of Jesus the way that they are. So they get the better gig there. I know that's hard. I'm

710
00:43:31.840 --> 00:43:38.000
really feeling led to show this recent success story of one of my beautiful students from phase

711
00:43:38.000 --> 00:43:43.280
three. She just got engaged, Carolyn. I just really feel like this is just going to really

712
00:43:43.280 --> 00:43:48.880
encourage someone's heart. Um, and I just want to show you, look at the joy there. Y'all just look,

713
00:43:48.880 --> 00:43:54.400
I just want you to see the beauty and the beauty of this. Um, that's just hot off the presses.

714
00:43:54.400 --> 00:43:59.520
She posted those pictures today in our group. And so I just want to, I just wanted to show you

715
00:43:59.520 --> 00:44:06.400
guys that all right, Diane, it's your turn. You're you're muted. Still Diane.

716
00:44:12.320 --> 00:44:23.360
Still muted. There you go. Um, my biggest breakthrough, I believe is just

717
00:44:24.720 --> 00:44:30.880
um, hearing that the Lord wants abundant life for me. I don't think that I've ever really

718
00:44:30.880 --> 00:44:38.560
heard that or believed it. And I've focused, um, I think I've suffered under the whole religious

719
00:44:38.560 --> 00:44:47.760
view of not being eligible to remarry and feeling that, you know, um, it's my fault.

720
00:44:47.760 --> 00:44:52.960
And have you, have you watched my marriage and family, my, I'm sorry, my divorce and remarriage

721
00:44:52.960 --> 00:44:59.760
session yet? Not yet. Oh girl, it's going to rock your world. Yeah. I'm I'm.

722
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:07.040
I'm looking forward to that, but you just you speak such hope and you really gave me hope and you gave me

723
00:45:07.440 --> 00:45:09.440
permission to believe that

724
00:45:10.000 --> 00:45:17.560
I can have an abundant life with a partner even though my relationship history is a train wreck. I mean

725
00:45:20.280 --> 00:45:26.280
You know, I just I it's the first time I've ever felt hope the first time I've ever felt, you know

726
00:45:26.800 --> 00:45:34.160
Renewed a sense of just anticipation of what the Lord is going to do and I've also not ever

727
00:45:35.320 --> 00:45:37.840
Been in a church that really talked about the supernatural

728
00:45:38.840 --> 00:45:45.080
Much and that is something I believe has I've been missing in my walk with the Lord

729
00:45:46.080 --> 00:45:52.360
And so I'm just I'm just really connecting a lot with with your teaching and just I just have hope now

730
00:45:52.360 --> 00:45:57.760
I just I just really want to thank you and hope is powerful y'all hope changes things

731
00:45:57.760 --> 00:46:03.520
Hope turns into faith that turns into miracles. And so Diane you are on the right track, and I'm so happy for you

732
00:46:03.680 --> 00:46:08.240
Thank you. Yeah, I didn't see nothing yet girl. You just wait God has so much more for you

733
00:46:08.240 --> 00:46:13.920
And so it's so exciting. Also, I want to show this hot off the presses another engagement announcement in phase three

734
00:46:14.280 --> 00:46:19.780
She just posted this guys this woman right here only joined the program in December

735
00:46:20.320 --> 00:46:21.720
Wow

736
00:46:21.720 --> 00:46:25.480
Yeah, so and that happens. So I just want to make sure that

737
00:46:26.000 --> 00:46:30.960
I just I feel led to show you all that. Okay, so we're just gonna go we're gonna continue to go

738
00:46:31.880 --> 00:46:33.880
clockwise here and so

739
00:46:34.280 --> 00:46:36.280
Dietra

740
00:46:39.080 --> 00:46:47.240
Hello, um, I would just like to share a secret the only two people who know the secret are

741
00:46:48.240 --> 00:46:50.080
my two

742
00:46:50.120 --> 00:46:58.040
Ex-husbands, they're only two that know my family doesn't know and so the secret that I've been carrying with me is that I've had two abortions

743
00:47:00.880 --> 00:47:05.680
And then so like my past relationships have all been very short

744
00:47:06.000 --> 00:47:09.640
I'm the one that tends to break up with the guy for whatever reason

745
00:47:10.800 --> 00:47:12.720
so like for my breakthrough

746
00:47:12.720 --> 00:47:19.880
I just feel like the spirit is like trying to tell me like a lasting relationship is possible

747
00:47:20.080 --> 00:47:22.440
When I was on vacation with my parents this week

748
00:47:22.840 --> 00:47:28.960
We met a couple at Dairy Queen and they were telling us that they were reunited after 62 years

749
00:47:29.800 --> 00:47:31.800
Yeah, wow

750
00:47:32.200 --> 00:47:36.000
They went on their first date when they were teenagers and they broke up after that

751
00:47:36.000 --> 00:47:39.560
But they recently reunited because both of their spouses had passed away

752
00:47:41.360 --> 00:47:47.000
Sweet couple and then I listened to two sermons last night from two separate churches

753
00:47:47.160 --> 00:47:51.000
And the first sermon was about a pastor who restored his marriage

754
00:47:52.000 --> 00:47:56.280
He said that he was too busy tending to his flock of the his church

755
00:47:56.520 --> 00:48:03.400
so he didn't have time for his wife and she kind of you know, like got on to him about that and so

756
00:48:03.760 --> 00:48:09.360
He did kind of like what you said we need to do instead of doing the things that we've been doing

757
00:48:10.440 --> 00:48:12.440
like

758
00:48:12.760 --> 00:48:18.480
The fillers he went to Jesus instead and he put his marriage before the Lord

759
00:48:18.480 --> 00:48:22.160
He said now him and his wife were celebrating 25 years of marriage

760
00:48:22.760 --> 00:48:26.880
Awesome. I like that message then another pastor from a different church

761
00:48:27.200 --> 00:48:29.440
He told a story about a 90 year old lady

762
00:48:29.800 --> 00:48:35.320
Whose husband had just passed away and she had on the same wedding ring that he gave her

763
00:48:35.560 --> 00:48:42.240
When they got married which only cost a dollar and she got it through the mail like a mail-order ring

764
00:48:42.600 --> 00:48:48.640
And she never asked for an upgrade and she wore that, you know up up until her death also

765
00:48:49.200 --> 00:48:51.200
But I just thought that was a sweet love story

766
00:48:51.880 --> 00:48:56.080
Yeah, just that it's a lasting relationship is possible

767
00:48:57.480 --> 00:49:01.120
Absolutely, and you guys and a supernatural relationship is possible

768
00:49:01.560 --> 00:49:06.640
So do you sure thank you for confessing that's actually the thing that my mom confessed to me before she passed away as well

769
00:49:06.640 --> 00:49:11.320
Is that she had had abortions and she was so ashamed and had never told anyone

770
00:49:11.320 --> 00:49:13.320
And do you have any living children?

771
00:49:13.960 --> 00:49:15.240
to

772
00:49:15.240 --> 00:49:19.600
Okay on earth earth children because you do have children in heaven waiting for you, too

773
00:49:19.600 --> 00:49:24.520
and my mom got the biggest revelation about that and and so

774
00:49:25.280 --> 00:49:27.840
You know, they forgive you. They love you

775
00:49:28.560 --> 00:49:35.560
You know and you're gonna have a beautiful reunion with them someday and I think an amazing family

776
00:49:36.640 --> 00:49:38.480
revival here on earth

777
00:49:38.520 --> 00:49:43.640
You know a family revival on earth because everything that is trying to stop our siege

778
00:49:43.640 --> 00:49:46.920
Y'all starting to stop our lineage and legacy, you know

779
00:49:46.920 --> 00:49:52.400
All the lies all the tactics of the enemy that try to cut off our you know

780
00:49:52.400 --> 00:49:54.000
Our family line, you know

781
00:49:54.000 --> 00:49:59.800
that means that our family lines important and that you know, God wants to revive and he wants to

782
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.120
You know, allow us to become, you know, people that are kinsmen redeemers.

783
00:50:05.120 --> 00:50:06.680
And I just believe that for you, Dietra.

784
00:50:06.680 --> 00:50:10.520
So I just speak that over you, that you're a kinsmen redeemer and that, you know, you

785
00:50:10.520 --> 00:50:14.080
don't have to grieve that anymore, that you've grieved it.

786
00:50:14.080 --> 00:50:18.480
I, what I hear the Holy Spirit saying is, is you've grieved those children for so long.

787
00:50:18.480 --> 00:50:25.920
It's time for you to, it's time for you to actually celebrate them, you know, and rejoice

788
00:50:25.920 --> 00:50:30.680
over the fact that, you know, that you have children on earth with you, you have children

789
00:50:30.680 --> 00:50:31.880
in heaven waiting for you.

790
00:50:31.880 --> 00:50:37.680
They're already on the next assignment and you have so much to give to family on earth

791
00:50:37.680 --> 00:50:39.040
and that's going to happen.

792
00:50:39.040 --> 00:50:44.640
And kind of around what Dietra was already saying, um, during the Columbia retreat, one

793
00:50:44.640 --> 00:50:49.440
of the students showed me her father, her mother passed away a few years ago and her

794
00:50:49.440 --> 00:50:52.600
father and mother had been married for 40 something years.

795
00:50:52.600 --> 00:50:57.800
And so her father was in his sixties and he really wanted to be remarried.

796
00:50:57.800 --> 00:50:58.800
He was lonely.

797
00:50:58.800 --> 00:51:04.160
And, um, and he, after a few stops and starts with online dating, he actually met a beautiful

798
00:51:04.160 --> 00:51:09.640
woman through someone, someone introduced him to someone and you know, just community

799
00:51:09.640 --> 00:51:14.760
based matchmaking you guys, but he fell immediately in love with this woman.

800
00:51:14.760 --> 00:51:17.060
They got married very quickly, a couple of months.

801
00:51:17.060 --> 00:51:23.620
And my student Kelly said she, everyone loves this woman, that she's great, but it was recently

802
00:51:23.620 --> 00:51:30.540
her father's birthday and his new wife was going through all the photos that of her dad's

803
00:51:30.540 --> 00:51:35.380
trying to get together a picture collage to do for his birthday.

804
00:51:35.380 --> 00:51:38.300
And you know what she found?

805
00:51:38.300 --> 00:51:45.740
She found a picture of her husband and his former wife who had passed away and her, she

806
00:51:45.740 --> 00:51:47.460
was in the picture.

807
00:51:47.460 --> 00:51:51.620
They had been at an event together and for whatever reason, the three of them were standing

808
00:51:51.620 --> 00:51:54.460
in a cluster, like a triangle right together.

809
00:51:54.460 --> 00:51:58.780
It was him and then his former wife that passed away and then she was standing right next

810
00:51:58.780 --> 00:52:01.980
to, it was a triangle of the three of them.

811
00:52:01.980 --> 00:52:03.780
She didn't remember being at that event.

812
00:52:03.780 --> 00:52:07.860
She knew that they had some friends in common, you know, decades and decades ago and they

813
00:52:07.860 --> 00:52:12.140
had been at some person's birthday party or something, but they just happened to all be

814
00:52:12.140 --> 00:52:14.020
standing next to each other for this picture.

815
00:52:14.340 --> 00:52:15.940
Isn't that powerful and crazy?

816
00:52:16.580 --> 00:52:19.060
Super natural stuff, y'all.

817
00:52:19.580 --> 00:52:20.620
Super natural stuff.

818
00:52:21.020 --> 00:52:21.420
All right.

819
00:52:21.420 --> 00:52:22.540
Thank you so much, Deetra.

820
00:52:22.580 --> 00:52:27.420
We need to speak peace shalom over you and God is going to use you to bring so much healing

821
00:52:27.420 --> 00:52:28.340
to other people.

822
00:52:29.140 --> 00:52:30.700
So much healing to other people.

823
00:52:31.260 --> 00:52:31.500
All right.

824
00:52:31.500 --> 00:52:35.580
Have you ever, have you ever asked God to talk to you about your children and tell you

825
00:52:35.580 --> 00:52:36.140
who they are?

826
00:52:36.780 --> 00:52:41.060
You should ask God what their names are because they have names and he'll tell you.

827
00:52:42.740 --> 00:52:43.260
He will.

828
00:52:43.740 --> 00:52:45.980
I wonder if we should do a post-abortive session.

829
00:52:46.740 --> 00:52:49.020
I used to do that in my WOW Women's Ministry.

830
00:52:49.020 --> 00:52:50.260
It's a very powerful session.

831
00:52:50.260 --> 00:52:51.660
I wonder if we have enough women.

832
00:52:51.660 --> 00:52:53.940
We probably do have enough women in this community to do that.

833
00:52:54.140 --> 00:52:57.020
I'm going to think about doing that, Deetra, and we'll actually do that.

834
00:52:58.220 --> 00:53:03.340
We'll do that session and that activation about really finding out more information.

835
00:53:03.580 --> 00:53:08.340
I had a really horrible miscarriage, y'all, when I was a teenager, because remember, I

836
00:53:08.340 --> 00:53:12.580
was living on my own and in foster care and I had a boyfriend and I got pregnant.

837
00:53:13.060 --> 00:53:17.620
And I, I miscarried like around my second, my second trimester.

838
00:53:17.620 --> 00:53:21.700
So like three months or so in, it was a very traumatic event for me.

839
00:53:22.020 --> 00:53:23.180
I was on drugs.

840
00:53:23.300 --> 00:53:24.540
I was doing a bunch of stuff.

841
00:53:24.780 --> 00:53:31.060
So while it wasn't necessarily an abortion, I always felt like, you know, unconsciously

842
00:53:31.060 --> 00:53:32.540
like it was my fault, right?

843
00:53:32.540 --> 00:53:37.700
Because I had, you know, been living terrible life and doing drugs and all the

844
00:53:37.740 --> 00:53:46.460
things. And it was in my thirties that God, during heartwork, that God showed me that,

845
00:53:46.660 --> 00:53:51.820
that situation and showed me that my heart was not healed of that.

846
00:53:51.820 --> 00:53:57.940
And that I still had so much self-bitterness against myself for that traumatic event.

847
00:53:58.300 --> 00:54:02.620
And not only did he heal me of it, Deetra, but he also showed me my daughter Abigail.

848
00:54:03.620 --> 00:54:10.180
And, you know, and her father, my boyfriend, when I was a teenager, he actually passed

849
00:54:10.180 --> 00:54:11.540
away of drugs and alcohol.

850
00:54:11.580 --> 00:54:13.500
God brought me out of that relationship.

851
00:54:13.540 --> 00:54:16.940
You know what? I feel like the story needs to be told because you guys, our love stories

852
00:54:16.940 --> 00:54:20.420
are supernatural. So as a teenager, I had a boyfriend.

853
00:54:20.420 --> 00:54:21.420
I was out on my own.

854
00:54:21.420 --> 00:54:24.540
I was emancipated very young because I lived in a girl's home in foster care.

855
00:54:24.780 --> 00:54:25.940
I got pregnant by that guy.

856
00:54:25.940 --> 00:54:27.140
I was with him for a couple of years.

857
00:54:27.140 --> 00:54:31.580
He got me involved in all, he wasn't a bad person, but he was a traumatized person that

858
00:54:31.780 --> 00:54:33.100
was self-medicating with drugs.

859
00:54:33.300 --> 00:54:38.020
And so I was drugs and alcohol all the time in that relationship with him.

860
00:54:38.180 --> 00:54:39.180
I got pregnant.

861
00:54:39.380 --> 00:54:40.700
I lost the child.

862
00:54:40.700 --> 00:54:45.860
And then right after that, probably about six months after that miscarriage, I no longer

863
00:54:45.860 --> 00:54:48.340
wanted to be there. I was with him for two years.

864
00:54:48.340 --> 00:54:51.540
And then I just woke up one day when I was 18 and a half years old.

865
00:54:51.540 --> 00:54:53.100
And I was like, I'm leaving.

866
00:54:54.260 --> 00:54:58.540
Once again, he wasn't abusive to me, very kind to me, but not kind to himself.

867
00:54:58.820 --> 00:55:00.020
And he eventually ended up dying.

868
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.240
of drugs and alcohol overdose, okay?

869
00:55:02.240 --> 00:55:04.400
Or his heart just stopped.

870
00:55:04.400 --> 00:55:06.000
But I didn't have anywhere to go

871
00:55:06.000 --> 00:55:07.480
and I didn't really have anyone to be with,

872
00:55:07.480 --> 00:55:09.360
but you guys, something inside of me,

873
00:55:09.360 --> 00:55:10.780
which now I know is Holy Spirit,

874
00:55:10.780 --> 00:55:14.680
was driving me out of that situation and away from it.

875
00:55:14.680 --> 00:55:17.040
And so I moved out, moved away.

876
00:55:17.040 --> 00:55:18.780
Like I said, I didn't have really any friends

877
00:55:18.780 --> 00:55:21.960
or anywhere to go or didn't have any family connection,

878
00:55:21.960 --> 00:55:24.440
but I moved two hours away to Columbus.

879
00:55:24.440 --> 00:55:25.840
I was thinking about going to college.

880
00:55:25.840 --> 00:55:28.560
I was thinking about a few things to do.

881
00:55:28.560 --> 00:55:32.320
And then at 22 years old, so two years later, I met Jesus.

882
00:55:32.320 --> 00:55:34.500
I had a radical conversion experience.

883
00:55:34.500 --> 00:55:36.280
I was on fire for the Lord.

884
00:55:36.280 --> 00:55:38.120
And I immediately was thrust

885
00:55:38.120 --> 00:55:40.520
into ministry with prostituted women.

886
00:55:41.460 --> 00:55:44.120
So I was ministering to these prostituted women,

887
00:55:44.120 --> 00:55:48.480
and oftentimes they would end up in the short-term prison

888
00:55:48.480 --> 00:55:50.880
in Columbus, Ohio, which is called The Workhouse.

889
00:55:50.880 --> 00:55:52.760
And I would go to The Workhouse.

890
00:55:52.760 --> 00:55:54.920
Anyone who was sentenced to less than a year and a half

891
00:55:54.920 --> 00:55:56.400
would get sent there, and I would go there

892
00:55:56.400 --> 00:55:58.600
and I would visit these women in prison.

893
00:55:58.600 --> 00:56:00.500
And there was one girl specifically

894
00:56:00.500 --> 00:56:02.200
that was there for about seven months,

895
00:56:02.200 --> 00:56:04.680
and I was going and visiting her every Tuesday.

896
00:56:04.680 --> 00:56:07.400
And I noticed when I was going to visit her every Tuesday

897
00:56:07.400 --> 00:56:09.880
that there was this beautiful, tall,

898
00:56:09.880 --> 00:56:11.840
because I'm tall, and I notice other tall people.

899
00:56:11.840 --> 00:56:15.080
I'm 5'10", so this girl was probably even taller than me,

900
00:56:15.080 --> 00:56:19.440
beautiful blonde, tall girl in the waiting room with me.

901
00:56:19.440 --> 00:56:22.000
And every Tuesday she was there.

902
00:56:22.000 --> 00:56:24.160
And she would go to the men's side for visitation,

903
00:56:24.160 --> 00:56:26.040
and I would go to the women's side for visitation.

904
00:56:26.680 --> 00:56:27.720
And I always wanted to talk to her.

905
00:56:27.720 --> 00:56:30.040
And after a while, guys, over the course of that seven

906
00:56:30.040 --> 00:56:32.960
months, I started noticing that she was pregnant.

907
00:56:32.960 --> 00:56:34.800
She started getting bigger and bigger

908
00:56:34.800 --> 00:56:36.640
every week that I saw her.

909
00:56:36.640 --> 00:56:38.840
And then one week she wasn't there.

910
00:56:38.840 --> 00:56:41.760
And so I said to myself, that girl had her baby.

911
00:56:42.800 --> 00:56:44.000
That's probably where she is,

912
00:56:44.000 --> 00:56:47.160
because she was there every single week, just like me.

913
00:56:47.160 --> 00:56:50.960
And so a few weeks, about a month or even more went by,

914
00:56:50.960 --> 00:56:53.040
and I didn't see her anymore on Tuesdays.

915
00:56:53.040 --> 00:56:56.480
And then one Tuesday she showed up with a baby carrier.

916
00:56:56.480 --> 00:56:58.120
She was there with her baby.

917
00:56:58.120 --> 00:57:00.200
And I just assumed that she was going over there

918
00:57:00.200 --> 00:57:02.120
to visit her baby daddy, right?

919
00:57:03.320 --> 00:57:06.800
And so this day I had gotten there early,

920
00:57:06.800 --> 00:57:08.600
and she had gotten there early too.

921
00:57:08.600 --> 00:57:10.160
And so we were the only two people there,

922
00:57:10.160 --> 00:57:12.080
me, her, and her baby.

923
00:57:12.080 --> 00:57:14.200
And so I went over and I sat down next to her,

924
00:57:14.200 --> 00:57:16.000
and I said, hey, I've noticed you here

925
00:57:16.000 --> 00:57:17.800
over the last six, seven months.

926
00:57:17.800 --> 00:57:19.840
And she said, yeah, I've noticed you too.

927
00:57:19.840 --> 00:57:21.840
And I said, I'm Jackie, introduced myself.

928
00:57:21.840 --> 00:57:22.840
We started chatting.

929
00:57:22.840 --> 00:57:24.520
And I found out that she was driving

930
00:57:24.520 --> 00:57:26.640
over two and a half hours every Tuesday

931
00:57:26.640 --> 00:57:28.920
to come and visit her baby daddy.

932
00:57:30.000 --> 00:57:33.320
And I was like, I said, wow, that's a lot.

933
00:57:33.320 --> 00:57:34.160
And she said, yeah.

934
00:57:34.160 --> 00:57:35.760
I said, you had to go through this whole pregnancy alone.

935
00:57:35.760 --> 00:57:36.840
She said, yeah.

936
00:57:36.840 --> 00:57:38.600
She's like, he's always in trouble.

937
00:57:38.600 --> 00:57:40.440
She's like, he's always in trouble with the law

938
00:57:40.440 --> 00:57:41.280
and with drugs.

939
00:57:41.280 --> 00:57:43.200
And she's like, and she was just so overwhelmed

940
00:57:43.200 --> 00:57:45.240
and all the things, right?

941
00:57:45.240 --> 00:57:47.560
And so as we got talking,

942
00:57:47.560 --> 00:57:50.640
I realized that we had some things in common,

943
00:57:50.640 --> 00:57:52.320
like the place that she was driving to

944
00:57:52.320 --> 00:57:54.880
two and a half hours away, I used to live there.

945
00:57:54.880 --> 00:57:56.680
So I was like, hey, she's like,

946
00:57:56.680 --> 00:57:58.160
I said, what high school did you go to?

947
00:57:58.160 --> 00:57:59.560
And she told me, and I said, oh,

948
00:57:59.560 --> 00:58:01.560
I said my brother's girlfriend went to high school there.

949
00:58:01.560 --> 00:58:03.080
And I told her my brother's girlfriend's name.

950
00:58:03.080 --> 00:58:04.960
She goes, oh yeah, she was in my class.

951
00:58:04.960 --> 00:58:06.800
And so we had some like mutual friends

952
00:58:06.800 --> 00:58:08.520
and all kinds of things, right?

953
00:58:08.520 --> 00:58:10.280
And as we kept talking, I said,

954
00:58:10.280 --> 00:58:11.360
well, where do you live now?

955
00:58:11.360 --> 00:58:13.760
And she said, well, I live in this place.

956
00:58:13.760 --> 00:58:15.560
And I said, oh, I said,

957
00:58:15.560 --> 00:58:18.640
I used to live there before I moved here.

958
00:58:18.680 --> 00:58:20.920
And she said, oh, she's like, that's crazy.

959
00:58:20.920 --> 00:58:22.520
And I said, she said, what street did you live on?

960
00:58:22.520 --> 00:58:23.800
I said, I lived on Long Avenue.

961
00:58:23.800 --> 00:58:25.480
She goes, I live on Long Avenue.

962
00:58:25.480 --> 00:58:27.640
And I was like, really?

963
00:58:27.640 --> 00:58:29.240
I was like, that's a bad neighborhood.

964
00:58:29.240 --> 00:58:30.560
And she's like, yeah, it is.

965
00:58:30.560 --> 00:58:32.120
And I was like, okay.

966
00:58:32.120 --> 00:58:33.440
I said, so, I mean, you guys,

967
00:58:33.440 --> 00:58:35.960
I mean, it's like crack alley, it's a bad neighborhood.

968
00:58:35.960 --> 00:58:38.200
And I was like, oh, I said, do you,

969
00:58:38.200 --> 00:58:40.440
I said, oh, do you know the Dysons?

970
00:58:40.440 --> 00:58:41.440
And she's like, yeah.

971
00:58:41.440 --> 00:58:45.880
She's like, Henry Dysons, my boyfriend's best friend.

972
00:58:45.880 --> 00:58:49.760
And I said, okay, wait, who's your boyfriend?

973
00:58:49.760 --> 00:58:54.000
My baby daddy was her baby daddy.

974
00:58:56.360 --> 00:58:57.400
Right?

975
00:58:57.400 --> 00:58:59.160
Can't make this stuff up, y'all.

976
00:59:00.400 --> 00:59:02.200
And I said, who's your boyfriend?

977
00:59:02.200 --> 00:59:03.560
And she said his name.

978
00:59:03.560 --> 00:59:05.760
And I said, my jaw just dropped.

979
00:59:05.760 --> 00:59:07.960
And I said, I'm Jackie.

980
00:59:09.120 --> 00:59:10.120
And she said, yeah, I know.

981
00:59:10.120 --> 00:59:12.240
I said, no, I said, I'm Jackie.

982
00:59:13.240 --> 00:59:16.520
I'm Jerry's ex-girlfriend, Jackie.

983
00:59:16.520 --> 00:59:17.800
And she said, oh my God.

984
00:59:17.800 --> 00:59:18.880
She's like, what's happening?

985
00:59:18.880 --> 00:59:20.560
And I was like, I don't know.

986
00:59:20.560 --> 00:59:22.200
I was like, it's gotta be God.

987
00:59:22.200 --> 00:59:23.880
Because remember, I'm already a believer.

988
00:59:23.880 --> 00:59:26.080
And I start ministering to her and helping her.

989
00:59:26.080 --> 00:59:27.280
But what I realized, y'all,

990
00:59:27.280 --> 00:59:29.320
is I was looking at that little baby in the carrier.

991
00:59:29.320 --> 00:59:30.760
This would have been my life.

992
00:59:32.240 --> 00:59:34.200
Had Abigail not gone to heaven,

993
00:59:34.200 --> 00:59:35.200
this would have been my life.

994
00:59:35.200 --> 00:59:37.320
Because I'm a very loyal person.

995
00:59:37.320 --> 00:59:39.160
Had I had had that child with that man,

996
00:59:39.160 --> 00:59:40.600
I would have stayed with him.

997
00:59:42.280 --> 00:59:44.960
I would have had God knows how many children with him.

998
00:59:45.920 --> 00:59:46.960
And guess what?

999
00:59:46.960 --> 00:59:50.720
He would have abandoned me for drugs and alcohol

1000
00:59:50.720 --> 00:59:54.000
and died at 37 years old.

1001
00:59:57.120 --> 00:59:58.680
You see what I'm saying?

1002
00:59:58.680 --> 01:00:00.080
And that girl, her name was.

1003
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:01.520
Mary, she did stay with him.

1004
01:00:01.520 --> 01:00:03.240
She had another son with him.

1005
01:00:03.240 --> 01:00:04.520
She married him.

1006
01:00:04.520 --> 01:00:06.000
Then she eventually divorced him

1007
01:00:06.000 --> 01:00:07.120
because he wouldn't get clean.

1008
01:00:07.120 --> 01:00:08.440
He didn't get clean.

1009
01:00:08.440 --> 01:00:10.320
And then she moved on with her life

1010
01:00:10.320 --> 01:00:11.840
and he ended up with someone else.

1011
01:00:11.840 --> 01:00:15.760
And that someone else found him dead next to her in bed

1012
01:00:15.760 --> 01:00:17.760
a couple years later from heart failure.

1013
01:00:19.520 --> 01:00:20.600
Do you see how we,

1014
01:00:22.080 --> 01:00:23.140
do you see how God was like,

1015
01:00:23.140 --> 01:00:25.320
oh no, no, baby girl, you ain't staying here.

1016
01:00:25.320 --> 01:00:26.220
We gotta go.

1017
01:00:27.220 --> 01:00:29.140
And even though all those years

1018
01:00:29.140 --> 01:00:32.340
I had blamed myself for Abigail not staying in my womb

1019
01:00:32.340 --> 01:00:34.540
and not coming to live in the earth,

1020
01:00:34.540 --> 01:00:35.900
she's very much alive.

1021
01:00:36.780 --> 01:00:39.240
She kind of just skipped this life, right?

1022
01:00:39.240 --> 01:00:41.860
And because she skipped it,

1023
01:00:41.860 --> 01:00:43.900
I also got to skip all that trauma

1024
01:00:45.900 --> 01:00:48.300
because I definitely would have been there.

1025
01:00:48.300 --> 01:00:50.860
We don't all the time get to see all the things

1026
01:00:50.860 --> 01:00:53.940
that could have been and would have been

1027
01:00:53.940 --> 01:00:55.780
had we not made a different decision.

1028
01:00:56.340 --> 01:01:00.020
And in this case, very important different decision, right?

1029
01:01:01.900 --> 01:01:03.060
But you guys, I had no idea

1030
01:01:03.060 --> 01:01:05.380
what was drawing me out of there.

1031
01:01:05.380 --> 01:01:06.220
I didn't,

1032
01:01:08.260 --> 01:01:09.460
I didn't understand.

1033
01:01:09.460 --> 01:01:12.380
I didn't know what was causing me to leave that place

1034
01:01:12.380 --> 01:01:14.760
because I didn't know that God knew me.

1035
01:01:15.740 --> 01:01:17.200
I didn't know he knew me yet.

1036
01:01:19.060 --> 01:01:21.540
So I hope that that brings some closure to some of you

1037
01:01:21.540 --> 01:01:22.900
and the things that you just don't know

1038
01:01:22.900 --> 01:01:24.240
why you did those things.

1039
01:01:24.280 --> 01:01:27.080
And you've beat yourself up for stuff

1040
01:01:27.080 --> 01:01:29.160
because whatever reason,

1041
01:01:29.160 --> 01:01:32.440
but you also don't know had those decisions not been made

1042
01:01:33.400 --> 01:01:36.360
and we're all walking in full forgiveness of the father

1043
01:01:36.360 --> 01:01:38.760
because of the cross of Jesus Christ,

1044
01:01:38.760 --> 01:01:42.120
that your lineage, your legacy

1045
01:01:42.120 --> 01:01:44.320
would have gone down a whole different road.

1046
01:01:45.840 --> 01:01:48.120
And possibly a road that you couldn't get back

1047
01:01:48.120 --> 01:01:51.920
from in this life, right?

1048
01:01:51.920 --> 01:01:54.680
There's no doubt in my mind, had I stayed in that space,

1049
01:01:54.680 --> 01:01:56.660
I probably would be dead too.

1050
01:01:57.960 --> 01:02:00.560
Cause I was getting involved in lots of drugs y'all,

1051
01:02:01.760 --> 01:02:02.660
lots of drugs.

1052
01:02:02.660 --> 01:02:05.520
But you know, when I left there, I never did drugs again.

1053
01:02:06.840 --> 01:02:08.400
So it was circumstantial, right?

1054
01:02:08.400 --> 01:02:09.280
It was environmental.

1055
01:02:09.280 --> 01:02:11.160
It didn't have anything to do with me.

1056
01:02:14.180 --> 01:02:15.640
So that's important.

1057
01:02:15.640 --> 01:02:16.720
I think that's really good.

1058
01:02:16.720 --> 01:02:19.640
And Deitra, I hope that ministers to your heart

1059
01:02:19.640 --> 01:02:21.700
and helps you see that a lot of times

1060
01:02:22.480 --> 01:02:23.300
what we think, you know,

1061
01:02:23.300 --> 01:02:25.660
Genesis 50, 20 is a real scripture, you guys,

1062
01:02:25.660 --> 01:02:28.100
what the enemy means for evil,

1063
01:02:28.100 --> 01:02:30.580
God will use not just for us,

1064
01:02:30.580 --> 01:02:32.660
but for our future generations.

1065
01:02:35.060 --> 01:02:39.020
Had Joseph not been betrayed and sold into slavery

1066
01:02:39.020 --> 01:02:41.420
and lied upon and abused and used

1067
01:02:41.420 --> 01:02:43.260
in all the things that he experienced,

1068
01:02:43.260 --> 01:02:45.520
had that not happened,

1069
01:02:45.520 --> 01:02:49.460
then his entire lineage would have died in a famine.

1070
01:02:50.460 --> 01:02:53.060
Everybody, dead.

1071
01:02:56.420 --> 01:02:58.260
So it's important that we understand.

1072
01:02:59.500 --> 01:03:01.100
And I know that our church,

1073
01:03:01.100 --> 01:03:04.420
our church experience just tells us that, you know,

1074
01:03:04.420 --> 01:03:06.160
nothing good can come from abortion.

1075
01:03:06.160 --> 01:03:08.160
Nothing good can come from this or that.

1076
01:03:08.160 --> 01:03:09.220
I disagree.

1077
01:03:11.380 --> 01:03:12.900
I disagree.

1078
01:03:12.900 --> 01:03:14.500
Nothing good can come from your sin.

1079
01:03:14.500 --> 01:03:15.460
Really?

1080
01:03:15.460 --> 01:03:17.500
That's not what the Bible says.

1081
01:03:17.500 --> 01:03:19.140
The Bible says in Romans 8, 28,

1082
01:03:19.820 --> 01:03:22.900
I can work all things to the good of those that love me

1083
01:03:22.900 --> 01:03:25.500
and are called according to my purposes.

1084
01:03:25.500 --> 01:03:26.480
Doesn't it?

1085
01:03:26.480 --> 01:03:28.180
And I'm pretty sure all means all.

1086
01:03:30.220 --> 01:03:31.700
All means all.

1087
01:03:31.700 --> 01:03:33.460
But we're not the,

1088
01:03:33.460 --> 01:03:36.340
he's not the one that's gonna keep that.

1089
01:03:36.340 --> 01:03:38.580
We're the ones that are gonna keep it from happening

1090
01:03:38.580 --> 01:03:40.220
because we don't believe it.

1091
01:03:40.220 --> 01:03:42.020
We believe that, oh, you know,

1092
01:03:42.020 --> 01:03:43.420
God can work some things to the good,

1093
01:03:43.420 --> 01:03:46.380
but good, there's some things that good can't come out of.

1094
01:03:47.380 --> 01:03:50.460
Because of some condemnation that we're carrying

1095
01:03:50.460 --> 01:03:52.180
or some religiosity that we're carrying.

1096
01:03:52.180 --> 01:03:53.680
You guys let go of that.

1097
01:03:54.540 --> 01:03:56.880
God can give beauty for any ashes.

1098
01:03:58.560 --> 01:04:00.860
And if you are sitting with a pile of ashes still,

1099
01:04:00.860 --> 01:04:03.980
it's because you have chosen to sit with a pile of ashes

1100
01:04:03.980 --> 01:04:05.300
instead of giving them to God

1101
01:04:05.300 --> 01:04:07.100
and letting him make them beautiful.

1102
01:04:08.300 --> 01:04:09.140
Amen?

1103
01:04:09.140 --> 01:04:11.680
Who wants to, who wants beauty for those ashes?

1104
01:04:11.680 --> 01:04:14.620
Who's tired of holding on to a ashtray?

1105
01:04:17.300 --> 01:04:18.140
All right.

1106
01:04:18.140 --> 01:04:20.700
I want you to put in the chat right now

1107
01:04:20.700 --> 01:04:23.100
what you maybe previously have believed

1108
01:04:23.100 --> 01:04:24.580
nothing good could come out of

1109
01:04:24.580 --> 01:04:27.420
that you're willing to give to God today

1110
01:04:27.420 --> 01:04:31.160
and let him show you that the story's not over yet.

1111
01:04:32.780 --> 01:04:35.260
That it really does turn to good.

1112
01:04:35.260 --> 01:04:36.180
What is that thing?

1113
01:04:36.180 --> 01:04:37.020
Put it up.

1114
01:04:41.080 --> 01:04:42.340
Losing your mom.

1115
01:04:42.340 --> 01:04:44.620
That's Stephanie, I'm rowing that boat with you.

1116
01:04:44.620 --> 01:04:46.740
Abusive marriage, come on.

1117
01:04:46.740 --> 01:04:49.460
Former abused biological father, sexually abused.

1118
01:04:49.460 --> 01:04:52.380
Okay, that's very, that's a deep daddy wound right there.

1119
01:04:52.380 --> 01:04:56.700
Yep, the loss of, I think that was a loss of my husband.

1120
01:04:56.700 --> 01:04:58.060
Abortion at age 19.

1121
01:04:58.060 --> 01:04:59.420
Yes, so cease.

1122
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.640
Tread. This has already caused there to be more people coming out and confessing this

1123
01:05:04.640 --> 01:05:11.200
lifelong psychological abuse. Come on. Bad financial decisions. You don't have to lay

1124
01:05:11.200 --> 01:05:15.840
in the bed that you made Stephanie with those bad decisions. You can lay in the bed that Jesus made

1125
01:05:15.840 --> 01:05:21.520
to finish work at a cross. You can loss of husband, five marriages. Cause I have another

1126
01:05:21.520 --> 01:05:28.400
student that was married four times. She got married in this, in this, uh, program that's

1127
01:05:28.400 --> 01:05:37.680
marriage divorces, broken engagements. Look at all that stuff. I love this big pile of ashes.

1128
01:05:40.960 --> 01:05:43.120
God's going to make it beautiful. You believe that

1129
01:05:45.280 --> 01:05:50.880
I've seen it. I've seen it with my own eyes and it's really, really real. And it's really true.

1130
01:05:51.600 --> 01:05:58.320
Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. Lord. We just thank you that as we surrender these ashes to you

1131
01:05:58.320 --> 01:06:05.120
as we give you our pain, you give us back beauty. This is the divine exchange right now. I want you

1132
01:06:05.120 --> 01:06:09.680
to picture yourself having that thing and you're just giving it to Jesus at the cross. I want you

1133
01:06:09.680 --> 01:06:14.560
to picture yourself laying it down at his feet, giving it to him, right? I want you to picture

1134
01:06:14.560 --> 01:06:18.560
yourself, close your eyes, picture yourself doing it right now. You're taking that thing and you're

1135
01:06:18.560 --> 01:06:24.960
laying it down that big bag of ashes, whatever that thing is. And I want you to ask him,

1136
01:06:25.760 --> 01:06:29.680
I want you to say to him, Jesus, I'm giving you this thing. Say what it is. I'm giving you this

1137
01:06:29.680 --> 01:06:37.040
thing. I'm giving you the death of my mom, Jesus. We never got to have an earthly relationship.

1138
01:06:38.880 --> 01:06:44.480
I never really got to really have anything with her that I wanted. And I'm bringing that to you.

1139
01:06:45.280 --> 01:06:49.200
All the images of all the suffering she went through at the end of her life. I'm just bringing

1140
01:06:49.200 --> 01:06:54.720
you all those ashes, Lord. And I'm just laying them at your feet right now. And I want you to

1141
01:06:54.720 --> 01:07:04.400
say this next. What will you give me in exchange? Jesus, what will you give me in exchange for this

1142
01:07:04.400 --> 01:07:12.080
disappointment? What will you give me in exchange?

1143
01:07:12.080 --> 01:07:36.160
Yes, write that down. You might've seen something. You might've felt something. Peace

1144
01:07:36.160 --> 01:07:41.520
just might've washed over you. I just been peace that came over you. You felt a release of some

1145
01:07:41.520 --> 01:07:49.120
sort. Maybe later on as you go about your night or tonight, when you're sleeping and dreaming,

1146
01:07:49.120 --> 01:07:54.720
you're going to experience more. Just go ahead and keep that channel of communication open with

1147
01:07:54.720 --> 01:08:01.200
Jesus. If you did feel something, see something, sense something, go ahead and put it in the chat.

1148
01:08:01.200 --> 01:08:07.200
What's he going to give you in exchange for those ashes, for that trauma, for that hurt,

1149
01:08:07.200 --> 01:08:13.520
for that pain, for that sin? What are you going to get in exchange? Love? Yes. Wonderful.

1150
01:08:15.520 --> 01:08:26.319
Loving connection. Yes. Love it. New life. Yes. So good. Healthy, loving spirit, made an

1151
01:08:26.319 --> 01:08:31.120
abundant life confidence and boldness. I heard the Lord say, I'm going to, you're going to get

1152
01:08:31.120 --> 01:08:37.120
the ability to help reunite mothers and daughters. And I've been able to do some of that.

1153
01:08:38.160 --> 01:08:44.160
Even Stephanie was able to just testify to this reconciliation with her daughter at a deeper

1154
01:08:44.160 --> 01:08:48.720
level of forgiveness. I love that. And I believe that this is just the beginning.

1155
01:08:48.720 --> 01:08:53.680
I've seen so many mothers and daughters reunited and I'm thankful for that.

1156
01:08:54.319 --> 01:08:57.439
Hope, love, freedom, peace, love, and acceptance.

1157
01:09:00.800 --> 01:09:05.040
Kylie got the revelation that if those things didn't happen, she wouldn't be here right now.

1158
01:09:05.040 --> 01:09:13.040
Yes, that's true. Confidence, boldness. The story's not over yet. Friends. The story's not over yet.

1159
01:09:14.800 --> 01:09:19.760
Whatever happened, that thing, the story didn't end with that. The story's not over yet. There's

1160
01:09:19.840 --> 01:09:25.520
still a chance for a happy ending. And there will be as we surrender these things to the Lord.

1161
01:09:31.520 --> 01:09:37.520
Yes. Praise God. Look at all the things that your sisters are putting up in the chat.

1162
01:09:37.520 --> 01:09:42.160
All right. Please show up in group. Be vulnerable. This is a, let's keep this going. Okay.

1163
01:09:42.720 --> 01:09:46.880
Let's keep this going because this is what causes there to be more and more and more

1164
01:09:46.880 --> 01:09:52.479
breakthrough in those layers to peel back faster is when we show up together. Okay. All right. So

1165
01:09:52.479 --> 01:09:57.040
when we think about having a specific session, we did have a, like a mom kind of here.

1166
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:01.560
healing session on Mother's Day.

1167
01:10:01.560 --> 01:10:02.960
We're gonna have one on Father's Day

1168
01:10:02.960 --> 01:10:04.280
on Sunday night activation.

1169
01:10:04.280 --> 01:10:07.200
On Father's Day, we'll have that father wound healing thing.

1170
01:10:07.200 --> 01:10:09.600
But I think that I'm probably gonna do something

1171
01:10:10.800 --> 01:10:12.240
around some of these subjects

1172
01:10:12.240 --> 01:10:14.440
just in a specific joint session.

1173
01:10:14.440 --> 01:10:15.720
And you guys will see more of that

1174
01:10:15.720 --> 01:10:17.760
as you go further in the program.

1175
01:10:17.760 --> 01:10:19.240
All right, I love y'all, bless you.

1176
01:10:19.240 --> 01:10:20.680
Have a great rest of your holiday.

1177
01:10:20.680 --> 01:10:22.280
See you soon, everyone, bye-bye.