WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.880 --> 00:00:05.280 All right. Hey, everyone. Welcome to love seats. Exciting, 2 00:00:05.680 --> 00:00:09.480 exciting times. Lots of fun things going to happen tonight. 3 00:00:10.560 --> 00:00:14.640 I want to let you guys know that, um, 4 00:00:16.000 --> 00:00:18.120 well, hold on one second. Let me do one thing really quick. 5 00:02:31.000 --> 00:02:32.760 All right. Hey everyone. 6 00:02:32.760 --> 00:02:36.880 I was just making sure that all of our phase two beauties are getting over here 7 00:02:36.880 --> 00:02:41.840 for love seats tonight and not getting lost, um, on a different link. Okay. 8 00:02:41.880 --> 00:02:45.680 So that's all set up and that's perfect. All right. 9 00:02:55.920 --> 00:02:59.760 All right. Welcome to love seats. If this is your first love seat, 10 00:02:59.760 --> 00:03:02.640 you're in for a treat. See how that rhymes. Um, 11 00:03:02.640 --> 00:03:07.680 you are going to be able to participate in our online 12 00:03:07.720 --> 00:03:12.640 or not our online, but our, our live dating coaching, 13 00:03:12.680 --> 00:03:15.440 which is what we do on love seats. So everyone comes here. 14 00:03:15.440 --> 00:03:20.160 This is a co-ed session. Um, you can ask us to be in the love seat. 15 00:03:20.800 --> 00:03:24.240 Usually we want you to let us know in advance if you want to get in the love 16 00:03:24.240 --> 00:03:28.760 seat, but if someone here has some kind of really, you know, 17 00:03:28.760 --> 00:03:32.160 burning question that they want to jump in the love seat and ask in front of 18 00:03:32.160 --> 00:03:33.520 everyone, then we'll let you do that. 19 00:03:33.520 --> 00:03:35.120 But that's exactly what we do on love seats. 20 00:03:35.360 --> 00:03:39.920 People volunteer to personally coach with me in front of everybody else. 21 00:03:40.320 --> 00:03:42.960 And I'm not always the person that runs love seats, 22 00:03:42.960 --> 00:03:46.280 but usually if I'm in town and I'm available, then it is me. 23 00:03:46.280 --> 00:03:47.800 That's going to do it. Um, 24 00:03:47.800 --> 00:03:52.720 we are going to be having some guest coaches starting in August guys. 25 00:03:52.720 --> 00:03:56.760 We are going to have a special session on relationship anxiety and what I call 26 00:03:56.760 --> 00:03:59.840 relationship OCD. You're like Jackie, 27 00:03:59.840 --> 00:04:03.800 are you saying that we have mental health issues in the area of relationships? 28 00:04:04.280 --> 00:04:05.120 Kind of 29 00:04:07.360 --> 00:04:12.640 sometimes, um, if you're not familiar with the OCD acronym, 30 00:04:12.640 --> 00:04:16.920 it just stands for obsessive compulsive disorder. Okay. 31 00:04:16.959 --> 00:04:17.920 Dysfunction. 32 00:04:18.600 --> 00:04:22.760 And it just means that you get intrusive thoughts and obsessive thoughts about 33 00:04:22.800 --> 00:04:23.600 things, 34 00:04:23.600 --> 00:04:28.600 thoughts that get stuck and go over and over and cycle over and over again in 35 00:04:28.840 --> 00:04:32.880 your mind that are not helpful. They're not leading you anywhere productive. 36 00:04:33.040 --> 00:04:36.200 Actually, lots of times they're worrisome thoughts. They're, 37 00:04:36.680 --> 00:04:40.200 they're fear-based thoughts or anxiety-based thoughts. Um, 38 00:04:40.240 --> 00:04:42.760 they're abandonment based thoughts. 39 00:04:42.800 --> 00:04:47.800 There can be all different types of dis based thoughts that get stuck and you 40 00:04:48.800 --> 00:04:51.720 continue to focus and fixate on those thoughts. 41 00:04:51.960 --> 00:04:56.600 And we can do that in relationship. And to me, relationship OCD, 42 00:04:56.600 --> 00:05:00.000 also known as relationship anxiety can partner with. 43 00:05:00.560 --> 00:05:02.000 Religious OCD. 44 00:05:03.560 --> 00:05:04.780 I touched on this a little bit 45 00:05:04.780 --> 00:05:08.360 in our relationship anxiety series that I already taught, 46 00:05:08.360 --> 00:05:09.560 but I'm gonna bring on a coach 47 00:05:09.560 --> 00:05:11.780 that this is their main thing. 48 00:05:11.780 --> 00:05:14.240 Their main thing is to help people break out 49 00:05:14.240 --> 00:05:17.240 of the patterns of relationship anxiety 50 00:05:17.240 --> 00:05:19.000 and relationship OCD. 51 00:05:19.000 --> 00:05:20.700 And if you add religion to that mix, 52 00:05:20.700 --> 00:05:21.760 a lot of people can think 53 00:05:21.760 --> 00:05:24.200 that God's telling them something he's not. 54 00:05:24.200 --> 00:05:26.360 Specifically, don't go out with them, 55 00:05:26.360 --> 00:05:28.300 they're not for you, break up with them. 56 00:05:28.300 --> 00:05:29.760 I'm saying no. 57 00:05:29.760 --> 00:05:32.460 I have someone else for you or the opposite. 58 00:05:32.460 --> 00:05:34.020 This is your person. 59 00:05:34.020 --> 00:05:35.340 This is the person for you. 60 00:05:35.340 --> 00:05:37.460 It doesn't matter if they don't pay attention to you. 61 00:05:37.460 --> 00:05:39.460 It doesn't matter if they don't know who you are. 62 00:05:39.460 --> 00:05:42.140 It doesn't matter if you got hit by a car 63 00:05:42.140 --> 00:05:43.800 and they right in front of them, 64 00:05:43.800 --> 00:05:46.260 they would not cross the street to see if you're okay. 65 00:05:46.260 --> 00:05:48.020 That's your future spouse. 66 00:05:49.620 --> 00:05:51.060 You had a dream about them. 67 00:05:51.060 --> 00:05:52.640 You were in prayer at church 68 00:05:52.640 --> 00:05:55.140 and you felt like God just highlighted them to you 69 00:05:55.140 --> 00:05:56.740 and said, this is the person. 70 00:05:56.740 --> 00:05:59.300 Even though once again, they have no interest in you. 71 00:05:59.320 --> 00:06:01.160 They've never expressed interest in you. 72 00:06:01.160 --> 00:06:03.400 And that's best case scenario. 73 00:06:03.400 --> 00:06:04.360 Guys, I've heard it all. 74 00:06:04.360 --> 00:06:07.120 Worst case scenario is they're married to somebody else 75 00:06:08.160 --> 00:06:10.320 and you think they're gonna be your spouse. 76 00:06:12.620 --> 00:06:14.400 Oh, then you tell yourself, well, they must be, 77 00:06:14.400 --> 00:06:15.680 maybe they're gonna get divorced 78 00:06:15.680 --> 00:06:17.120 or maybe their spouse is gonna die. 79 00:06:17.120 --> 00:06:19.380 Y'all, these are terrible thoughts. 80 00:06:20.240 --> 00:06:22.920 Then you put yourself in some proverbial waiting room, 81 00:06:22.920 --> 00:06:25.540 waiting for that to play out. 82 00:06:25.540 --> 00:06:27.120 And then if you're in community with them, 83 00:06:27.120 --> 00:06:30.740 you might actually start to get unhealthily close to them. 84 00:06:30.740 --> 00:06:32.340 You might start to flirt with them. 85 00:06:32.340 --> 00:06:33.940 You might start to do things 86 00:06:33.940 --> 00:06:36.580 that establish some kind of connection with them. 87 00:06:36.580 --> 00:06:40.020 And that's fully inappropriate and demonic. 88 00:06:40.960 --> 00:06:43.420 That is not God telling you that that person 89 00:06:43.420 --> 00:06:46.580 who is married to someone else is your future spouse. 90 00:06:46.580 --> 00:06:47.940 All right? 91 00:06:47.940 --> 00:06:48.860 It isn't. 92 00:06:48.860 --> 00:06:51.440 Some people get fixated on celebrities. 93 00:06:51.440 --> 00:06:53.500 I've had plenty of people come to this program 94 00:06:53.500 --> 00:06:56.240 that told me that they were going to marry a celebrity 95 00:06:56.240 --> 00:06:58.060 and specifically a specific celebrity. 96 00:06:58.060 --> 00:07:00.380 And then they tell me who the person is. 97 00:07:00.380 --> 00:07:02.060 Sometimes that person is married already 98 00:07:02.060 --> 00:07:03.580 and sometimes that person is single. 99 00:07:03.580 --> 00:07:06.080 Sometimes it's a Christian celebrity, so to speak, 100 00:07:07.140 --> 00:07:09.580 famous preacher or singer songwriter, 101 00:07:09.580 --> 00:07:11.820 and sometimes it's not. 102 00:07:11.820 --> 00:07:13.700 But they have this intrusive thought, 103 00:07:13.700 --> 00:07:16.700 this obsessive thought that that is their person. 104 00:07:16.700 --> 00:07:18.600 And then they start following that person around. 105 00:07:18.600 --> 00:07:21.080 They start joining fan clubs for that person. 106 00:07:21.080 --> 00:07:22.240 If the person's a preacher, 107 00:07:22.240 --> 00:07:24.340 they start going to their church. 108 00:07:24.340 --> 00:07:26.000 I just had someone ask me the other day, 109 00:07:26.760 --> 00:07:28.940 they said, hey, someone that I know 110 00:07:28.940 --> 00:07:31.520 wants to introduce me to a single pastor. 111 00:07:32.700 --> 00:07:33.980 And then they asked this question, 112 00:07:33.980 --> 00:07:36.900 should I go to his church and sit on the front row 113 00:07:36.900 --> 00:07:38.780 so he'll notice me? 114 00:07:38.780 --> 00:07:40.380 Absolutely not. 115 00:07:40.380 --> 00:07:42.460 That's completely inappropriate. 116 00:07:42.460 --> 00:07:44.500 Don't go to some church that's not your church 117 00:07:44.500 --> 00:07:46.020 because you heard the pastor is single 118 00:07:46.020 --> 00:07:49.940 and go sit on the front row so that you're in his sight 119 00:07:49.940 --> 00:07:52.100 so he can notice you and fall in love with you 120 00:07:52.100 --> 00:07:54.620 or ask you out or get introduced to you guys. 121 00:07:55.280 --> 00:07:59.420 These are not godly ideas, okay? 122 00:08:01.400 --> 00:08:04.020 If that person wants you to meet that single pastor 123 00:08:04.020 --> 00:08:06.840 and they know them, they should make the introduction. 124 00:08:07.820 --> 00:08:09.800 They shouldn't tell you to go sit on the front row 125 00:08:09.800 --> 00:08:14.800 of their church so that they can see you 126 00:08:16.560 --> 00:08:18.320 and you can be a distraction to them 127 00:08:18.320 --> 00:08:20.860 while they're doing their job. 128 00:08:21.680 --> 00:08:25.400 Would you show up to anybody else's job like that? 129 00:08:26.600 --> 00:08:28.920 I mean, think about it for a second. 130 00:08:28.920 --> 00:08:30.920 Oh, there's this cute pilot that you should meet. 131 00:08:30.920 --> 00:08:33.679 Would you buy a plane ticket and try to get on his flight 132 00:08:33.679 --> 00:08:36.440 and try to like go up to the cockpit and meet him 133 00:08:36.440 --> 00:08:39.120 before he takes off or afterwards? 134 00:08:39.120 --> 00:08:42.480 I mean, no, you wouldn't do that because that's weird. 135 00:08:42.480 --> 00:08:44.500 Well, the same with this church stuff. 136 00:08:45.400 --> 00:08:47.200 Don't just start going to a church 137 00:08:47.200 --> 00:08:50.180 because you heard some hot guys there that's single. 138 00:08:51.240 --> 00:08:54.720 That gives the wrong vibes, you guys. 139 00:08:54.720 --> 00:08:57.520 That's giving off desperation, right? 140 00:08:57.520 --> 00:08:59.680 If someone wants you to meet somebody 141 00:08:59.680 --> 00:09:01.160 that goes to their church that's single, 142 00:09:01.160 --> 00:09:03.200 then they need to play matchmaker. 143 00:09:03.200 --> 00:09:05.660 They need to play introducer. 144 00:09:09.520 --> 00:09:11.240 I'm not trying to be harsh, 145 00:09:11.240 --> 00:09:14.520 but I am trying to put an exclamation point on that 146 00:09:14.520 --> 00:09:18.520 because that's not appropriate, all right? 147 00:09:18.540 --> 00:09:21.580 And if it gets out that that's why you did it, 148 00:09:21.580 --> 00:09:23.060 first of all, most churches, 149 00:09:23.060 --> 00:09:25.260 you're not gonna just go sit on the front row of the church 150 00:09:25.260 --> 00:09:26.940 because that's usually their staff 151 00:09:26.940 --> 00:09:30.500 or usually their team is gonna be sitting up there 152 00:09:30.500 --> 00:09:33.460 for a good reason because the people that sit up there 153 00:09:33.460 --> 00:09:35.500 are gonna be the people that don't distract 154 00:09:35.500 --> 00:09:39.180 the people that are leading the service, right? 155 00:09:40.540 --> 00:09:42.340 So you're not gonna be able to do that anyway. 156 00:09:42.340 --> 00:09:45.780 But if it got out that that's why you were at a church, 157 00:09:46.680 --> 00:09:51.680 I had one of my students here say to me 158 00:09:52.520 --> 00:09:55.600 that they were thinking about 159 00:09:55.600 --> 00:09:57.700 just joining a church specifically 160 00:09:57.700 --> 00:10:00.700 because they heard that there's a lot of single people there. 161 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:02.700 You know, if you don't have a church, 162 00:10:02.700 --> 00:10:04.900 then you definitely should join a church 163 00:10:04.900 --> 00:10:09.380 that has resources for where you are in life. 164 00:10:11.340 --> 00:10:13.820 For instance, if you have young children, 165 00:10:13.820 --> 00:10:15.900 you should join a spiritual community 166 00:10:15.900 --> 00:10:17.100 that has a good Sunday school, 167 00:10:17.100 --> 00:10:18.620 that has a good children's program 168 00:10:18.620 --> 00:10:21.460 so that your kids can, you know, be discipled. 169 00:10:21.460 --> 00:10:23.180 You're discipling them at home, of course, 170 00:10:23.180 --> 00:10:25.540 but also that they can have community. 171 00:10:26.380 --> 00:10:28.420 You definitely should find a church 172 00:10:28.420 --> 00:10:30.060 where you feel like God's leading you there 173 00:10:30.060 --> 00:10:31.660 because you're spiritually hungry 174 00:10:31.660 --> 00:10:34.340 and there's, you know, whatever they're teaching 175 00:10:34.340 --> 00:10:36.940 and preaching at that church is exactly where you are 176 00:10:36.940 --> 00:10:40.340 in life and it's what you need, right? 177 00:10:40.340 --> 00:10:43.860 To grow, to become more like Jesus, 178 00:10:43.860 --> 00:10:46.660 to be around people that are like-minded and like-spirited. 179 00:10:46.660 --> 00:10:48.220 These are important things. 180 00:10:48.220 --> 00:10:50.620 And so I'm not telling you to not go join a church 181 00:10:50.620 --> 00:10:52.780 that has what you need as a single. 182 00:10:52.780 --> 00:10:55.460 And if they have a great singles community 183 00:10:55.460 --> 00:10:58.340 for your age group and you want to go 184 00:10:59.180 --> 00:11:00.660 because you want to do life with other singles in person, 185 00:11:00.660 --> 00:11:02.500 then by all means, go check that out. 186 00:11:02.500 --> 00:11:04.500 But don't go with the motive that 187 00:11:04.500 --> 00:11:06.980 I'm only going to find my spouse 188 00:11:06.980 --> 00:11:09.060 or I heard that the pastor's single 189 00:11:09.060 --> 00:11:10.340 and I'm going to go and, you know, 190 00:11:10.340 --> 00:11:11.860 try to get him to notice me. 191 00:11:11.860 --> 00:11:13.360 You guys don't, don't do those things. 192 00:11:13.360 --> 00:11:15.500 And gentlemen, same thing. 193 00:11:15.500 --> 00:11:18.260 Don't be those creeper guys that go to churches 194 00:11:18.260 --> 00:11:19.580 looking for single women. 195 00:11:20.660 --> 00:11:22.620 Hop all over to different churches 196 00:11:22.620 --> 00:11:25.300 looking for hot single women. 197 00:11:25.300 --> 00:11:29.420 Go to churches because you want to grow spiritually 198 00:11:30.740 --> 00:11:32.660 and go to the spiritual communities 199 00:11:32.660 --> 00:11:34.020 and join the spiritual communities 200 00:11:34.020 --> 00:11:37.380 where they have the resources to help you grow spiritually. 201 00:11:37.380 --> 00:11:40.340 And if your spirit mate's there, then guess what? 202 00:11:40.340 --> 00:11:42.020 God will bring y'all together. 203 00:11:42.020 --> 00:11:43.860 Cool? Awesome. 204 00:11:43.860 --> 00:11:45.540 All right, we're going to start with love seats tonight. 205 00:11:45.540 --> 00:11:47.020 We have a lot of people that have asked 206 00:11:47.020 --> 00:11:47.900 to be in the love seat. 207 00:11:47.900 --> 00:11:49.180 Once again, if you're new, 208 00:11:49.180 --> 00:11:51.020 you can email us ahead of love seats. 209 00:11:51.020 --> 00:11:53.900 It's on the calendar when love seat is going to be. 210 00:11:53.900 --> 00:11:55.580 And so you can email us and say, 211 00:11:55.580 --> 00:11:57.220 hey, I'd like to be in the love seat. 212 00:11:57.220 --> 00:12:01.420 Pretty soon on the resource tab on the app for phase three, 213 00:12:01.420 --> 00:12:03.140 which is community phase for ladies. 214 00:12:03.140 --> 00:12:06.020 And then gentlemen, your group is already phase three 215 00:12:06.020 --> 00:12:07.740 because it's phase one, two, and three. 216 00:12:07.740 --> 00:12:10.020 In the resource tab, there will be a place 217 00:12:10.020 --> 00:12:13.480 where you can click and ask to be in the love seat as well. 218 00:12:13.480 --> 00:12:16.380 The same place that has the resource for Ask Jackie. 219 00:12:16.380 --> 00:12:17.660 All right? Okay. 220 00:12:19.140 --> 00:12:23.820 So if you are here and you have emailed us, 221 00:12:24.620 --> 00:12:25.500 I'm going to start with the emailing people. 222 00:12:25.500 --> 00:12:26.780 And you've asked to be in the love seat. 223 00:12:26.780 --> 00:12:29.460 Please raise your little digital avatar yellow hand. 224 00:12:29.460 --> 00:12:30.300 Okay. 225 00:12:55.100 --> 00:12:56.440 I see five hands up. 226 00:12:56.440 --> 00:12:57.280 All right. 227 00:12:59.280 --> 00:13:00.120 All right. Let's pray. 228 00:13:00.120 --> 00:13:01.560 Father God, I thank you for this time together. 229 00:13:01.560 --> 00:13:04.560 I thank you, Lord, that you have wisdom for us. 230 00:13:04.560 --> 00:13:07.400 That's beyond our human pay grade. 231 00:13:07.400 --> 00:13:09.400 And so we want to lean into your wisdom 232 00:13:09.400 --> 00:13:11.500 and your understanding, your revelation from heaven. 233 00:13:11.500 --> 00:13:14.000 Speak to us, speak through us, 234 00:13:14.000 --> 00:13:15.720 give us the biggest breakthroughs 235 00:13:15.720 --> 00:13:17.320 in the shortest amount of time 236 00:13:17.320 --> 00:13:20.680 in the area of our relationships and love lives 237 00:13:20.680 --> 00:13:23.800 and anything else that comes up tonight in Jesus name. 238 00:13:23.800 --> 00:13:24.640 Amen. 239 00:13:24.680 --> 00:13:28.160 All right. So we'll start out with Stacy in Texas. 240 00:13:28.160 --> 00:13:29.560 Stacy, go ahead and unmute yourself. 241 00:13:29.560 --> 00:13:31.200 You are on the love seat. 242 00:13:32.460 --> 00:13:33.300 Hi. 243 00:13:34.200 --> 00:13:39.200 So went in June to see Jeff in Wisconsin. 244 00:13:39.720 --> 00:13:40.800 We had a great time. 245 00:13:42.360 --> 00:13:45.080 We stayed for two days with my friends 246 00:13:45.080 --> 00:13:46.560 and just did a bunch of stuff. 247 00:13:46.560 --> 00:13:50.240 For everyone who's just joining this broadcast 248 00:13:50.240 --> 00:13:52.600 already in process, tell them who Jeff is 249 00:13:52.600 --> 00:13:53.880 and how long you've been talking 250 00:13:53.880 --> 00:13:56.720 and then just give them 30 seconds 251 00:13:56.720 --> 00:13:58.120 of lead up to your question. 252 00:13:59.320 --> 00:14:03.920 Jeff and I have been talking since March 253 00:14:03.920 --> 00:14:08.920 and we have acquaintance through high school. 254 00:14:09.280 --> 00:14:11.040 And so we met up in Wisconsin 255 00:14:11.040 --> 00:14:12.520 cause I was there to see my family 256 00:14:12.520 --> 00:14:14.240 and he lives in Indiana. 257 00:14:14.240 --> 00:14:15.520 I live in Texas. 258 00:14:15.520 --> 00:14:16.880 He met up with me. 259 00:14:16.880 --> 00:14:21.200 We spent two days together at my friend's house, 260 00:14:21.200 --> 00:14:23.720 which by the way, I suggest you do that 261 00:14:24.560 --> 00:14:25.640 if you're gonna do something long distance, 262 00:14:25.640 --> 00:14:27.880 stay together, but separate bedrooms, 263 00:14:27.880 --> 00:14:29.360 separate bathrooms, all that. 264 00:14:29.360 --> 00:14:30.720 Anyway, had a great time. 265 00:14:30.720 --> 00:14:34.800 At the end, I said, what's going on here? 266 00:14:34.800 --> 00:14:36.960 And he said, well, I think I need to come to Austin. 267 00:14:36.960 --> 00:14:39.760 So he has bought his plane ticket 268 00:14:39.760 --> 00:14:42.280 and he has bought us concert tickets. 269 00:14:42.280 --> 00:14:46.480 And so he's gonna come August 16th weekend 270 00:14:46.480 --> 00:14:49.560 and we're gonna stay at my sister's house, 271 00:14:49.560 --> 00:14:52.240 my sister, my brother-in-law's house, 272 00:14:52.240 --> 00:14:54.240 separate bedrooms, separate bathrooms 273 00:14:54.240 --> 00:14:55.480 and all of those things. 274 00:14:55.480 --> 00:14:56.640 So this is the question. 275 00:14:56.640 --> 00:15:00.200 The question is, cause we haven't had a DTR talk. 276 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:02.040 I determine the relationship talk. 277 00:15:02.040 --> 00:15:05.040 Do I need to bring that up if he doesn't, 278 00:15:05.040 --> 00:15:09.080 or do I just kind of need to relax a little bit? 279 00:15:10.440 --> 00:15:12.960 So here's the thing, friends, when it's long distance, 280 00:15:12.960 --> 00:15:14.440 we've already said, and if you're new 281 00:15:14.440 --> 00:15:17.480 and you're just coming into phase two or phase three, 282 00:15:17.480 --> 00:15:20.840 and you're just new to this whole, how do we date? 283 00:15:20.840 --> 00:15:23.000 Like, you know, we're old enough to know better 284 00:15:23.000 --> 00:15:24.480 for the most part, for all of you. 285 00:15:24.480 --> 00:15:25.800 How do we date? 286 00:15:25.800 --> 00:15:27.800 What does this look like? 287 00:15:27.880 --> 00:15:30.000 Especially long distance, 288 00:15:30.000 --> 00:15:32.840 you definitely have to make decisions quicker 289 00:15:32.840 --> 00:15:34.800 when it's long distance, because like she just said, 290 00:15:34.800 --> 00:15:36.400 there's a lot of investment going on here. 291 00:15:36.400 --> 00:15:39.040 There's plane tickets being bought, right? 292 00:15:39.040 --> 00:15:41.240 There's lots of travel happening. 293 00:15:41.240 --> 00:15:43.400 There's lots of kind of back and forth 294 00:15:43.400 --> 00:15:45.540 and talking and FaceTiming and all the things 295 00:15:45.540 --> 00:15:47.880 without having the in-person stuff. 296 00:15:47.880 --> 00:15:49.440 And so she went there. 297 00:15:49.440 --> 00:15:51.240 And how many weeks was it before you, 298 00:15:51.240 --> 00:15:53.640 that you guys talked after being reconnected 299 00:15:53.640 --> 00:15:56.960 before you actually saw each other in person in Wisconsin? 300 00:15:57.040 --> 00:15:58.320 March, April, May. 301 00:15:58.320 --> 00:16:01.400 So probably about 90 days. 302 00:16:01.400 --> 00:16:03.320 Okay, so three months, you guys. 303 00:16:03.320 --> 00:16:05.120 Three months of talking. 304 00:16:05.120 --> 00:16:07.800 That was the soonest that they could get together in person. 305 00:16:07.800 --> 00:16:09.800 They did get together in person. 306 00:16:09.800 --> 00:16:12.280 It went well, it went great. 307 00:16:12.280 --> 00:16:14.400 I definitely agree with Stacey. 308 00:16:14.400 --> 00:16:17.720 Utilize your resources when you go visit people 309 00:16:17.720 --> 00:16:20.280 long distance to keep the prices down. 310 00:16:20.280 --> 00:16:22.640 Also utilize their resources. 311 00:16:22.640 --> 00:16:24.320 If they want you to come to their town, 312 00:16:24.320 --> 00:16:26.960 they need to put you up with friends, family, church. 313 00:16:26.960 --> 00:16:29.560 Like if they don't have any friends or family or church, 314 00:16:29.560 --> 00:16:30.960 that's a problem. 315 00:16:31.960 --> 00:16:33.860 Where's their community at? 316 00:16:33.860 --> 00:16:36.400 If they just move there, okay, we'll call it a yellow flag. 317 00:16:36.400 --> 00:16:38.120 But if they've lived there for a long time, 318 00:16:38.120 --> 00:16:40.920 then we're wondering what's up with that, right? 319 00:16:40.920 --> 00:16:42.880 They should have at least one person 320 00:16:42.880 --> 00:16:47.480 who can give you some sort of shelter while you're there. 321 00:16:47.480 --> 00:16:49.720 Especially ladies, when you're traveling, 322 00:16:49.720 --> 00:16:52.440 if you have the more flexible job, 323 00:16:52.440 --> 00:16:53.920 you're like, who should travel? 324 00:16:54.520 --> 00:16:55.480 The person who can. 325 00:16:56.600 --> 00:16:58.320 And I feel like you should share the cost 326 00:16:58.320 --> 00:17:01.120 when you're just getting to know each other. 327 00:17:01.120 --> 00:17:02.920 Guys, both have to get skin in the game. 328 00:17:02.920 --> 00:17:04.560 You both have to invest in this. 329 00:17:04.560 --> 00:17:07.440 This isn't going out to dinner and him picking up the check. 330 00:17:07.440 --> 00:17:09.920 This is you seeing whether or not there's anything here 331 00:17:09.920 --> 00:17:12.480 and you both have to put an investment of time in 332 00:17:12.480 --> 00:17:14.079 and energy and maybe even money 333 00:17:14.079 --> 00:17:16.119 in order to make this happen. 334 00:17:16.119 --> 00:17:19.839 Now, I don't suggest going and seeing someone 335 00:17:19.839 --> 00:17:21.160 that you're traveling to see 336 00:17:21.160 --> 00:17:23.760 that you don't know anyone that they know. 337 00:17:24.200 --> 00:17:25.599 They're not a known variable to you. 338 00:17:25.599 --> 00:17:26.720 You met them on the internet. 339 00:17:26.720 --> 00:17:28.400 You've been talking on a dating app with them, 340 00:17:28.400 --> 00:17:31.800 but you can't vouch for who they are. 341 00:17:31.800 --> 00:17:34.480 Don't travel and go see them. 342 00:17:34.480 --> 00:17:35.560 That's dangerous. 343 00:17:36.840 --> 00:17:39.200 They're gonna have to come to you for the first time. 344 00:17:39.200 --> 00:17:41.480 And if they have to wait until they get paid time off 345 00:17:41.480 --> 00:17:43.400 or whatever, then that's the way it has to be. 346 00:17:43.400 --> 00:17:45.920 You don't have any business going someplace, 347 00:17:45.920 --> 00:17:50.320 states away, maybe even an entire side of the country away 348 00:17:50.320 --> 00:17:51.600 to go meet up with someone 349 00:17:51.600 --> 00:17:53.360 when you don't know who they are, all right? 350 00:17:53.960 --> 00:17:54.800 There are exceptions to that. 351 00:17:54.800 --> 00:17:57.640 If you can get to know people that know them 352 00:17:57.640 --> 00:18:00.080 and you guys can find common ground 353 00:18:00.080 --> 00:18:02.680 or if you've just talked to them for a long time 354 00:18:02.680 --> 00:18:06.000 on FaceTimes and met people that know them 355 00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:07.400 and you feel safe, 356 00:18:07.400 --> 00:18:10.160 there's definitely exceptions to rules, 357 00:18:10.160 --> 00:18:11.120 but for the most part, 358 00:18:11.120 --> 00:18:12.560 you're gonna want them to come to you. 359 00:18:12.560 --> 00:18:16.200 So they met up and he said, 360 00:18:16.200 --> 00:18:18.000 I need to come to Austin next. 361 00:18:18.000 --> 00:18:19.880 So he already said what he's gonna do next. 362 00:18:19.880 --> 00:18:20.720 We wanna see that. 363 00:18:20.720 --> 00:18:21.640 We wanna see intention. 364 00:18:21.640 --> 00:18:23.400 I've said it before, I'm gonna say it again. 365 00:18:23.400 --> 00:18:24.720 When it comes to long distance, 366 00:18:24.720 --> 00:18:29.160 if the guy is not all in after meeting you in person, 367 00:18:29.160 --> 00:18:30.320 it's not gonna work. 368 00:18:32.400 --> 00:18:35.160 Let me say that again for the people in the back. 369 00:18:35.160 --> 00:18:38.680 After seeing each other face to face the first time, 370 00:18:38.680 --> 00:18:40.680 long distance relationship, 371 00:18:40.680 --> 00:18:44.320 if the guy is not infatuated enough 372 00:18:44.320 --> 00:18:46.880 to be all in to this situation, 373 00:18:46.880 --> 00:18:49.080 if he's just kind of like, eh, 374 00:18:49.080 --> 00:18:50.320 he can take it or leave it, 375 00:18:50.320 --> 00:18:51.440 it's gonna putter out. 376 00:18:52.840 --> 00:18:53.800 It is. 377 00:18:53.800 --> 00:18:57.040 So this guy liked enough of what he saw 378 00:18:57.040 --> 00:18:58.680 that he said, I'm gonna come to Austin. 379 00:18:58.680 --> 00:19:00.280 And then what he did, 380 00:19:00.280 --> 00:19:01.400 what he, it wasn't just words. 381 00:19:01.400 --> 00:19:02.240 What did he do? 382 00:19:02.240 --> 00:19:03.840 He took action. 383 00:19:03.840 --> 00:19:05.200 He bought his plane ticket. 384 00:19:06.600 --> 00:19:07.760 He bought concert tickets. 385 00:19:07.760 --> 00:19:09.720 He got something for them to do. 386 00:19:09.720 --> 00:19:11.120 That's very divinely masculine. 387 00:19:11.120 --> 00:19:12.480 I like that so far. 388 00:19:12.480 --> 00:19:15.760 So when he comes, which is just in a few weeks, 389 00:19:15.760 --> 00:19:17.840 it's about, actually it's a month from today. 390 00:19:17.840 --> 00:19:19.760 When he comes to visit, 391 00:19:19.760 --> 00:19:21.400 I'm sure they're gonna have a great time, 392 00:19:21.400 --> 00:19:22.800 a roll wind weekend. 393 00:19:22.800 --> 00:19:24.440 Emotions are gonna be high. 394 00:19:24.440 --> 00:19:25.840 Have y'all kissed or anything yet? 395 00:19:25.840 --> 00:19:27.000 Where are you? 396 00:19:27.000 --> 00:19:27.840 I'm right here. 397 00:19:27.840 --> 00:19:29.200 Just like mwah. 398 00:19:30.640 --> 00:19:32.040 But lips to lips? 399 00:19:32.040 --> 00:19:34.560 Lips to lips, but it was very, 400 00:19:34.560 --> 00:19:36.920 it was at the end when we said goodbye. 401 00:19:36.920 --> 00:19:38.600 What about lingering hugs? 402 00:19:43.400 --> 00:19:44.520 Not much. 403 00:19:44.520 --> 00:19:45.360 He's pretty- 404 00:19:45.360 --> 00:19:47.040 What about holding hands? 405 00:19:47.040 --> 00:19:49.120 Grabbing arms and things like that. 406 00:19:49.400 --> 00:19:51.360 We touched for sure. 407 00:19:51.360 --> 00:19:52.200 Okay. 408 00:19:52.200 --> 00:19:53.040 All right. 409 00:19:53.040 --> 00:19:54.600 So when he comes this time, 410 00:19:54.600 --> 00:19:58.000 that will probably escalate a little bit 411 00:19:58.000 --> 00:19:59.200 since there's already, 412 00:19:59.200 --> 00:20:00.040 kind of guys are- 413 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:01.400 He broke the barrier there. 414 00:20:01.700 --> 00:20:05.220 So that might escalate a little bit out of the concert, all the things. 415 00:20:05.280 --> 00:20:05.680 All right. 416 00:20:06.020 --> 00:20:10.820 And so you're going to know whether or not you're having a good time. 417 00:20:10.880 --> 00:20:13.480 You're going to know whether or not the chemistry is building or 418 00:20:13.480 --> 00:20:15.120 the chemistry is diminishing. 419 00:20:15.580 --> 00:20:16.000 Right. 420 00:20:16.260 --> 00:20:18.780 And if you feel like this is where you're going to have to judge this. 421 00:20:19.120 --> 00:20:22.800 If you feel like the chemistry is building, you feel like he's not just, 422 00:20:22.800 --> 00:20:25.140 you know, having a good time in Austin and going to a concert, but 423 00:20:25.140 --> 00:20:26.780 that he is really digging you. 424 00:20:28.180 --> 00:20:28.640 Right. 425 00:20:29.000 --> 00:20:33.820 And you guys are beginning to share some deeper, more vulnerable 426 00:20:33.820 --> 00:20:35.360 things with each other on this trip. 427 00:20:36.200 --> 00:20:41.840 Then it is appropriate for you or him to say, Hey, you know, this is long 428 00:20:41.840 --> 00:20:44.680 distance and it is a bigger investment. 429 00:20:45.120 --> 00:20:49.920 Um, do we see enough potential here to keep this going? 430 00:20:51.120 --> 00:20:53.840 Do we want to, are we feeling it? 431 00:20:54.120 --> 00:20:56.920 And hopefully it sounds like he's a really intentional guy. 432 00:20:57.920 --> 00:21:01.800 You know, as far as he he's told you from the beginning, what it was going 433 00:21:01.800 --> 00:21:03.440 to, what he was going to do and he's done it. 434 00:21:04.280 --> 00:21:08.720 So I don't see him leaving Austin without having a conversation 435 00:21:08.720 --> 00:21:13.320 about what's going to happen next, but it's fully permissible for you 436 00:21:13.320 --> 00:21:15.600 to have a next steps conversation. 437 00:21:16.600 --> 00:21:17.040 Okay. 438 00:21:17.560 --> 00:21:19.080 Then I have one more question. 439 00:21:19.840 --> 00:21:23.760 So he is, um, he's pretty social. 440 00:21:24.600 --> 00:21:30.240 And I had said something about meeting some of my friends and he's like, yeah. 441 00:21:30.800 --> 00:21:34.600 So Jackie, do you think, tell me what you think? 442 00:21:34.600 --> 00:21:37.440 Cause you kind of know about my community a little bit and stuff. 443 00:21:37.840 --> 00:21:40.520 Like, should I do that or should I just keep it low key? 444 00:21:42.920 --> 00:21:44.040 No, I think you should. 445 00:21:44.040 --> 00:21:48.040 I think he should totally see the community that you're involved with 446 00:21:48.040 --> 00:21:49.240 and you should have a lot of fun. 447 00:21:49.920 --> 00:21:50.320 Okay. 448 00:21:51.320 --> 00:21:51.680 Yeah. 449 00:21:51.680 --> 00:21:52.040 Yeah. 450 00:21:52.600 --> 00:21:57.640 I mean, you know, your parents don't live here, so, you know, these are just 451 00:21:57.640 --> 00:22:00.360 your friends and, you know, these are people that you do life with. 452 00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:03.920 And I feel like these are people that actually bring out the best in you. 453 00:22:03.920 --> 00:22:08.640 So it's going to actually paint you in an even better light because he's going 454 00:22:08.640 --> 00:22:13.000 to see, you know, how many people just love and respect you and it brings out 455 00:22:13.000 --> 00:22:15.320 your, you know, your fun and all the things. 456 00:22:16.120 --> 00:22:16.400 Okay. 457 00:22:16.400 --> 00:22:17.520 So yeah. 458 00:22:17.600 --> 00:22:18.000 Okay. 459 00:22:18.640 --> 00:22:20.920 Now I would, I would definitely say 80, 20. 460 00:22:20.920 --> 00:22:24.080 So 80%, just you guys and then 20% others. 461 00:22:24.080 --> 00:22:25.000 So, okay. 462 00:22:26.440 --> 00:22:30.800 Um, I'm just writing down something. 463 00:22:30.880 --> 00:22:31.240 Okay. 464 00:22:34.920 --> 00:22:35.240 Okay. 465 00:22:35.680 --> 00:22:36.040 All right. 466 00:22:36.040 --> 00:22:36.840 So that's exciting. 467 00:22:36.840 --> 00:22:38.440 So we're excited for you, Stacy. 468 00:22:38.680 --> 00:22:39.680 Yay. 469 00:22:40.040 --> 00:22:40.840 All right. 470 00:22:41.360 --> 00:22:42.040 Go ahead and raise. 471 00:22:42.120 --> 00:22:45.640 I know we have some avatar hands up for people jumping in a love suit seat, but 472 00:22:45.640 --> 00:22:47.280 I want you to go ahead and raise your hand. 473 00:22:47.560 --> 00:22:55.280 If you are in some level of getting to know someone like, and it's going good. 474 00:22:55.320 --> 00:22:56.880 You're in some level of getting to know someone. 475 00:22:56.880 --> 00:22:57.960 You might be in just level two. 476 00:22:57.960 --> 00:23:00.400 You're just still kind of seeing each other in the talking stage, or you're 477 00:23:00.400 --> 00:23:06.000 all the way to, um, the official boyfriend and girlfriend stage, or 478 00:23:06.000 --> 00:23:07.600 maybe you already are engaged. 479 00:23:07.960 --> 00:23:09.680 Let's see how many hands of people. 480 00:23:09.880 --> 00:23:10.280 Okay. 481 00:23:11.160 --> 00:23:13.080 That's quite, that's quite a bit of people. 482 00:23:13.200 --> 00:23:13.640 Okay. 483 00:23:13.880 --> 00:23:17.280 And for those of you that don't have your hand up, get ready, get ready. 484 00:23:17.680 --> 00:23:21.120 Um, you guys, I did do, I, I subbed this morning for prayer. 485 00:23:21.160 --> 00:23:25.320 I was a sub this morning, but God gave us an amazing word. 486 00:23:25.360 --> 00:23:29.480 And so we did record this morning for prayer and we're going to make 487 00:23:29.480 --> 00:23:32.240 that available for all of you, even though it was ladies prayer, gentlemen, 488 00:23:32.240 --> 00:23:33.360 we're going to put it in your group. 489 00:23:33.360 --> 00:23:35.720 So if any of my team are on here, please put that in the 490 00:23:35.720 --> 00:23:37.240 men's group replays as well. 491 00:23:37.240 --> 00:23:38.880 It's a powerful word. 492 00:23:39.200 --> 00:23:42.600 If you've been discouraged at all, you want to listen to what God said to us. 493 00:23:42.600 --> 00:23:45.440 You want to listen to what God said to us this morning, because 494 00:23:45.640 --> 00:23:46.720 it's going to light you up. 495 00:23:48.080 --> 00:23:49.120 Light you up. 496 00:23:49.360 --> 00:23:49.760 Okay. 497 00:23:50.160 --> 00:23:54.680 Um, next in line, Shannon, you are in the love seat. 498 00:23:56.200 --> 00:23:56.720 Hello. 499 00:23:57.160 --> 00:23:58.560 Um, all right. 500 00:23:58.560 --> 00:24:03.000 So I have been, um, I guess in a level two relationship with a guy, his 501 00:24:03.000 --> 00:24:04.880 name is Lee for the past two months. 502 00:24:05.440 --> 00:24:10.280 Um, and we've seen each other pretty much once a week for the past two months. 503 00:24:10.280 --> 00:24:13.600 Um, I've been on the phone, you know, communicating. 504 00:24:14.240 --> 00:24:16.360 Um, I get the sense that he is. 505 00:24:16.840 --> 00:24:20.760 On track to kind of see if we want to go to level three shortly, which is why 506 00:24:20.760 --> 00:24:25.440 I'm just kind of now like wondering if it should, so he is a Christian. 507 00:24:25.440 --> 00:24:26.840 He's very intentional. 508 00:24:26.880 --> 00:24:29.600 Um, he always plans stuff that we do. 509 00:24:29.600 --> 00:24:31.240 He makes sure that I'm okay. 510 00:24:31.240 --> 00:24:35.600 Like he's, he's, he's very gentleman, like picks me up for the dates, like 511 00:24:35.600 --> 00:24:37.120 just very intentional with that. 512 00:24:37.120 --> 00:24:38.600 So that is something that stands out to me. 513 00:24:38.600 --> 00:24:42.160 The one, or I guess the two things that I'm just kind of wondering and wanting 514 00:24:42.160 --> 00:24:47.000 to make sure I understand is our compatible lifestyles. 515 00:24:47.400 --> 00:24:50.080 So I am a very active person. 516 00:24:50.080 --> 00:24:51.800 Like I go to the gym every day. 517 00:24:51.840 --> 00:24:53.240 Um, I like to be in community. 518 00:24:53.240 --> 00:24:54.840 I'm very involved in my church. 519 00:24:55.560 --> 00:25:00.160 Him on the other hand, doesn't have a notion to work out. 520 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:06.200 He's more of a farm guy, likes to work on his gardens and animals. 521 00:25:06.200 --> 00:25:10.920 So I just, and I did ask him like, if he does go to church every Sunday, he's involved in 522 00:25:10.920 --> 00:25:12.720 a prayer group. 523 00:25:12.720 --> 00:25:17.800 But in terms of like getting more involved in the church and having that community, he 524 00:25:17.800 --> 00:25:19.400 didn't really have interest in that. 525 00:25:19.400 --> 00:25:24.520 So I guess I want to just make sure, and by understanding that I don't know if we would 526 00:25:24.520 --> 00:25:30.320 be able to keep up with each other just because our lifestyles are very different versus well, 527 00:25:30.320 --> 00:25:36.800 yeah, maybe some interests can change when you're with someone, if that makes sense. 528 00:25:36.800 --> 00:25:37.800 Okay. 529 00:25:37.800 --> 00:25:38.800 So let me ask you a question. 530 00:25:38.800 --> 00:25:41.000 Do you like the outdoors? 531 00:25:41.000 --> 00:25:49.200 I enjoy being outside walking nature, but if I'm camping, not really. 532 00:25:49.200 --> 00:25:50.320 Okay. 533 00:25:50.320 --> 00:25:53.080 Does he live on a farm? 534 00:25:53.080 --> 00:25:59.880 He lives on a very big property that has chickens and sheep and animals gardens. 535 00:25:59.880 --> 00:26:02.840 How do you feel about that? 536 00:26:02.840 --> 00:26:06.080 That's just not my, my forte. 537 00:26:06.080 --> 00:26:11.400 Like I'm a more of a suburban girl, right? 538 00:26:11.400 --> 00:26:16.920 And I was definitely more of a city girl before I moved to two and a half acres in hill country, 539 00:26:16.920 --> 00:26:17.920 but I love it out here. 540 00:26:17.920 --> 00:26:18.920 It's super quiet. 541 00:26:19.920 --> 00:26:23.480 With no chickens because the coyotes ate all of my neighbor's chickens. 542 00:26:23.480 --> 00:26:27.800 And I'm not going to do that to my heart because I will name each one of those girls. 543 00:26:27.800 --> 00:26:30.880 And if they get eaten by coyotes, it's not going to be pretty. 544 00:26:30.880 --> 00:26:31.880 All right. 545 00:26:31.880 --> 00:26:37.680 But I have a space for a garden and I definitely want to give that a chance eventually when 546 00:26:37.680 --> 00:26:43.840 I have some time, the bottom line is, is that unless he is looking for a farm wife and he's 547 00:26:43.840 --> 00:26:48.280 going to expect you to milk the cows and do the things, you know, um, as long as you're 548 00:26:48.640 --> 00:26:52.400 not too far from town, my grandparents used to have a farm and they didn't live too far 549 00:26:52.400 --> 00:26:53.400 from town. 550 00:26:53.400 --> 00:26:55.520 Um, it can be a great life. 551 00:26:55.520 --> 00:27:02.160 I want you all to really understand that even though it wasn't what you did before, it doesn't 552 00:27:02.160 --> 00:27:05.040 mean that you might not like it, right? 553 00:27:05.040 --> 00:27:07.140 Same with them having change as well. 554 00:27:07.140 --> 00:27:11.160 And when you're saying that you're a gym girl and you'd like to work out your gym girly, 555 00:27:11.160 --> 00:27:16.480 well, you know, functional exercise, the exercise on the farm is exercise. 556 00:27:16.480 --> 00:27:19.480 That's a lot of hard work exercise right there. 557 00:27:19.480 --> 00:27:22.720 You know, going out, doing the garden, remember my grandparents had a garden. 558 00:27:22.720 --> 00:27:27.840 So my grandpa was always out there sweating, working in his garden, you know, taking care 559 00:27:27.840 --> 00:27:29.160 of the animals. 560 00:27:29.160 --> 00:27:36.400 And so I'm just saying that those things don't have to be, they have to be complimentary. 561 00:27:36.400 --> 00:27:40.940 They have to be simpatico in the way that you're willing to really enjoy things that 562 00:27:40.940 --> 00:27:45.400 other people enjoy, as long as they're willing to enjoy what you enjoy as well, a little 563 00:27:45.400 --> 00:27:48.000 bit country, a little bit rock and roll, you know? 564 00:27:48.000 --> 00:27:51.840 And so these are the conversations that you guys need to have going forward is that, Hey, 565 00:27:51.840 --> 00:27:53.840 we're attracted to each other. 566 00:27:53.840 --> 00:27:58.320 You like the old fashioned part of him, which happens to come with kind of a ranch life 567 00:27:58.320 --> 00:27:59.520 as well. 568 00:27:59.520 --> 00:28:01.880 And so like, what are his expectations? 569 00:28:01.880 --> 00:28:07.360 You guys have been talking long enough that you can go ahead and talk about like, what, 570 00:28:07.360 --> 00:28:10.160 what are his expectations in a love story? 571 00:28:10.160 --> 00:28:15.400 Like what kind of like, what does he picture his future life and marriage looking like 572 00:28:15.400 --> 00:28:18.520 and see if there's any synergy in those things. 573 00:28:18.520 --> 00:28:24.000 And I'll tell you something about men as far as church goes, friends, church, especially 574 00:28:24.000 --> 00:28:28.480 North American, American church here in the United States of America, it's really set 575 00:28:28.480 --> 00:28:30.240 up for women and children. 576 00:28:30.240 --> 00:28:31.240 For the most part. 577 00:28:31.240 --> 00:28:32.240 It really is. 578 00:28:32.240 --> 00:28:37.560 It's set up to attract women and children, okay. 579 00:28:37.560 --> 00:28:43.320 In the way that, you know, these long worship sets and it's dark and there's like dry ice 580 00:28:43.320 --> 00:28:50.080 and smoke and you know, it's really emotional a lot of times in its presentation. 581 00:28:50.080 --> 00:28:53.680 And then of course you have all this fun stuff for kids to do and all the things guys are 582 00:28:53.680 --> 00:28:55.480 not always into that. 583 00:28:55.480 --> 00:28:58.840 My husband checks out and we go to church, you know, he's sitting there, he's listening 584 00:28:58.840 --> 00:29:05.960 and stuff, but he's not necessarily like loving the model, the format he comes because I go 585 00:29:06.280 --> 00:29:13.000 And ladies, if you marry a man who wants a spirit mate and wants you to be the feminine 586 00:29:13.000 --> 00:29:17.500 in his life, he is going to do things that please you. 587 00:29:17.500 --> 00:29:21.320 And one of those things is he's going to want, he's going to go to community because it pleases 588 00:29:21.320 --> 00:29:22.320 you. 589 00:29:22.320 --> 00:29:23.320 And then guess what? 590 00:29:23.320 --> 00:29:28.160 When they get there, they find things to, for them to attach to as well, right? 591 00:29:28.160 --> 00:29:31.360 My husband has friends at church, you know, my kids are adults. 592 00:29:31.360 --> 00:29:36.880 So my kids have friends that my husband also is kind of like mentoring and stuff. 593 00:29:36.880 --> 00:29:41.040 And then we all go out to eat afterwards and we hang out together and we do life together. 594 00:29:41.040 --> 00:29:45.320 And so just because a guy has not joined like 15 groups at his church and he's not part 595 00:29:45.320 --> 00:29:49.000 of a cell group and you know, he's not an usher at his church and he's not, that doesn't 596 00:29:49.000 --> 00:29:52.480 mean that he's not spiritually involved. 597 00:29:52.480 --> 00:29:56.660 It just means he's not that social of a person and you're going to be the social director 598 00:29:56.660 --> 00:29:58.640 of your marriage. 599 00:29:58.640 --> 00:30:00.280 I'm the social director of my marriage. 600 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.120 but as long as your husband is wanting, 601 00:30:03.120 --> 00:30:05.240 and we cover this in Simbis, you guys, 602 00:30:05.240 --> 00:30:06.960 if you get engaged or you get to level three 603 00:30:06.960 --> 00:30:08.680 and you want to see if you're really compatible, 604 00:30:08.680 --> 00:30:11.240 take Simbis because we cover community 605 00:30:11.240 --> 00:30:13.000 and we cover the kinds of topics 606 00:30:13.000 --> 00:30:15.040 we're talking about right now 607 00:30:15.040 --> 00:30:17.840 because you have to have community together. 608 00:30:17.840 --> 00:30:22.120 So I want to challenge you, my friend, 609 00:30:22.120 --> 00:30:25.000 to have a conversation with him 610 00:30:25.000 --> 00:30:29.440 about what does he think that his life looks like? 611 00:30:30.040 --> 00:30:31.920 In the future with his spirit mate, 612 00:30:31.920 --> 00:30:33.400 like, what does that look like? 613 00:30:33.400 --> 00:30:35.960 And see if you guys can talk about that 614 00:30:35.960 --> 00:30:39.000 and then see how you feel after that conversation. 615 00:30:39.000 --> 00:30:40.440 Okay. 616 00:30:40.440 --> 00:30:41.280 Okay? 617 00:30:41.280 --> 00:30:42.120 All right. 618 00:30:42.120 --> 00:30:43.520 And I don't like to camp either. 619 00:30:43.520 --> 00:30:44.880 I don't want to go camping. 620 00:30:44.880 --> 00:30:48.280 I mean, I'll go stay in a cabin. 621 00:30:48.280 --> 00:30:50.880 Yes, that's more my cup of tea too, 622 00:30:50.880 --> 00:30:53.160 but a tent, I just, that's just, I can't do. 623 00:30:54.240 --> 00:30:55.080 Yeah. 624 00:30:55.080 --> 00:30:56.720 And just because he likes, you know, 625 00:30:56.720 --> 00:30:58.680 a garden and some chickens doesn't mean 626 00:30:58.680 --> 00:31:00.920 that he's going to make you be in a tent. 627 00:31:00.920 --> 00:31:03.320 So, right? 628 00:31:03.320 --> 00:31:04.600 You know, just because he wants to go out 629 00:31:04.600 --> 00:31:06.360 and kill Bambi's mother doesn't mean 630 00:31:06.360 --> 00:31:08.080 he wants you to go hunting with him. 631 00:31:08.080 --> 00:31:10.240 You know, guys, like a lot of men that are like that, 632 00:31:10.240 --> 00:31:13.000 they like men's stuff and they do it with men. 633 00:31:13.000 --> 00:31:16.120 They're not expecting us to be doing that 634 00:31:16.120 --> 00:31:18.920 or be interested in that in any way. 635 00:31:18.920 --> 00:31:19.760 All right. 636 00:31:19.760 --> 00:31:20.600 Cool. 637 00:31:20.600 --> 00:31:21.440 All right. 638 00:31:21.440 --> 00:31:23.680 So she's going to report back to us after she has that. 639 00:31:24.680 --> 00:31:29.600 I put something on my Instagram today, you guys. 640 00:31:29.600 --> 00:31:32.680 And it said, I forget. 641 00:31:32.680 --> 00:31:34.800 So I've just got to read it to you. 642 00:31:34.800 --> 00:31:38.040 Don't settle for less because more is out there 643 00:31:38.040 --> 00:31:39.320 and it's looking for you. 644 00:31:39.320 --> 00:31:40.880 And then the caption is, 645 00:31:40.880 --> 00:31:42.920 you might really be tempted to settle for things 646 00:31:42.920 --> 00:31:44.360 you know are not right for your life 647 00:31:44.360 --> 00:31:47.520 because you're scared that there's nothing better out there. 648 00:31:47.520 --> 00:31:50.240 Please believe me when I tell you that better exists 649 00:31:50.240 --> 00:31:51.600 and it's looking for you. 650 00:31:51.640 --> 00:31:53.200 Make sure when it finds you 651 00:31:53.200 --> 00:31:55.360 that you're still single and ready for love, 652 00:31:55.360 --> 00:31:57.120 meaning that you haven't just went ahead 653 00:31:57.120 --> 00:31:59.600 and taken yourself off the market for something. 654 00:31:59.600 --> 00:32:04.600 You guys, that post is 100% about unhealthy relationship. 655 00:32:07.680 --> 00:32:09.920 It's not about what I'm talking to her about. 656 00:32:12.160 --> 00:32:14.280 A lot of times we'll think that the better 657 00:32:14.280 --> 00:32:17.560 is something that 100% fits our current life. 658 00:32:17.560 --> 00:32:18.960 Guys, I'm going to tell you something 659 00:32:18.960 --> 00:32:20.720 and it's really important that you hear it. 660 00:32:20.760 --> 00:32:23.560 If you want to get married, your life's going to change. 661 00:32:25.480 --> 00:32:26.320 Please listen to me. 662 00:32:26.320 --> 00:32:27.160 I'm going to say it again. 663 00:32:27.160 --> 00:32:29.600 If you want to partner, 664 00:32:29.600 --> 00:32:31.680 you are not allowed to keep your life 665 00:32:31.680 --> 00:32:33.720 the way it is right now. 666 00:32:33.720 --> 00:32:35.160 You're not going to. 667 00:32:35.160 --> 00:32:37.520 If you're looking for someone to just come 668 00:32:37.520 --> 00:32:39.280 and fit into your current life 669 00:32:39.280 --> 00:32:40.720 and do everything that you like 670 00:32:40.720 --> 00:32:43.360 and be at the same community 671 00:32:43.360 --> 00:32:45.000 and do all the same activities 672 00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:46.880 and have the same friends, 673 00:32:46.880 --> 00:32:48.240 that's not going to happen. 674 00:32:49.240 --> 00:32:53.400 And the reason why I'm being so maybe even aggressive 675 00:32:53.400 --> 00:32:55.200 with this topic right now 676 00:32:55.200 --> 00:32:58.040 is because I have seen people get separated 677 00:32:58.040 --> 00:33:00.320 in this community after they got married 678 00:33:00.320 --> 00:33:03.080 because they thought that they were just going 679 00:33:03.080 --> 00:33:04.600 to be able to keep their single life 680 00:33:04.600 --> 00:33:06.560 and add another person to it. 681 00:33:10.160 --> 00:33:11.800 That's not the way this works. 682 00:33:13.040 --> 00:33:15.000 It does not work that way. 683 00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:16.800 When my husband and I got married, 684 00:33:16.840 --> 00:33:18.320 we ended up leaving the church 685 00:33:18.320 --> 00:33:21.400 that he was at for 27 years. 686 00:33:23.040 --> 00:33:24.200 Why? 687 00:33:24.200 --> 00:33:25.640 Because Jackie didn't want to go there? 688 00:33:25.640 --> 00:33:28.640 No, because God called us out, 689 00:33:28.640 --> 00:33:30.120 called us somewhere else, 690 00:33:30.120 --> 00:33:32.760 someplace neither one of us had ever been. 691 00:33:32.760 --> 00:33:35.120 We didn't end up with the same friends. 692 00:33:35.120 --> 00:33:37.640 My best friend for 20 years, 693 00:33:37.640 --> 00:33:38.720 I barely even talked to her. 694 00:33:38.720 --> 00:33:41.400 I think she's best friends with someone else now. 695 00:33:41.400 --> 00:33:42.880 It isn't because I was mad at her. 696 00:33:42.880 --> 00:33:44.240 I didn't break up with her. 697 00:33:44.240 --> 00:33:45.480 I just moved on. 698 00:33:46.480 --> 00:33:49.200 I moved far, far away. 699 00:33:49.200 --> 00:33:51.920 And that's just what it looks like. 700 00:33:53.520 --> 00:33:55.760 I have different hobbies than I had before. 701 00:33:55.760 --> 00:33:57.720 There's some things that are the same, 702 00:33:57.720 --> 00:33:59.360 but a lot is different. 703 00:33:59.360 --> 00:34:02.080 And I want you guys to go ahead and embrace that idea 704 00:34:02.080 --> 00:34:05.320 because if you're not willing to sign up for change 705 00:34:05.320 --> 00:34:07.200 and maybe radical change, 706 00:34:07.200 --> 00:34:08.840 then marriage is not for you. 707 00:34:12.159 --> 00:34:13.920 Get a roommate. 708 00:34:13.920 --> 00:34:14.760 Get a dog. 709 00:34:16.480 --> 00:34:21.199 You know, seriously, marriage is not for you 710 00:34:21.199 --> 00:34:25.560 if you're not willing to be radically 711 00:34:28.280 --> 00:34:29.159 stretched. 712 00:34:30.080 --> 00:34:31.080 Okay. 713 00:34:31.080 --> 00:34:33.120 All right, Katie, you're in the love seat. 714 00:34:36.480 --> 00:34:37.880 Yeah, thanks. 715 00:34:38.760 --> 00:34:40.960 So I have been dating Robert. 716 00:34:40.960 --> 00:34:44.080 Our first date was December 31st 717 00:34:45.080 --> 00:34:48.239 and about two months in is when I stopped seeing other people 718 00:34:48.239 --> 00:34:50.320 to just be exclusive with him. 719 00:34:51.920 --> 00:34:55.280 And we're level three, have been since probably 720 00:34:56.719 --> 00:34:57.880 about two months in. 721 00:34:59.360 --> 00:35:00.200 And I've been- 722 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.720 feeling for a while that we were reaching this crossroads 723 00:35:03.720 --> 00:35:07.080 where either it was about to get really, really good 724 00:35:07.080 --> 00:35:08.560 or it was time to call it. 725 00:35:09.640 --> 00:35:12.080 And I actually feel like I kind of made a decision 726 00:35:12.080 --> 00:35:14.840 but I wanted to bring it still to the coaching 727 00:35:14.840 --> 00:35:16.840 to see if there's something I'm missing. 728 00:35:17.920 --> 00:35:18.760 But feeling like- 729 00:35:18.760 --> 00:35:21.200 Hey, wait, I need a little bit of clarity 730 00:35:21.200 --> 00:35:22.200 before you say anything more. 731 00:35:22.200 --> 00:35:25.080 How long have you been talking? 732 00:35:25.080 --> 00:35:25.900 Six months. 733 00:35:25.900 --> 00:35:28.080 We just had our six month anniversary. 734 00:35:28.080 --> 00:35:29.880 Six month anniversary. 735 00:35:29.880 --> 00:35:31.160 How long of that six months 736 00:35:31.160 --> 00:35:33.680 have you been official level three? 737 00:35:33.680 --> 00:35:35.180 Four. 738 00:35:35.180 --> 00:35:36.020 Four months. 739 00:35:37.640 --> 00:35:39.520 And did he ask you to be his girlfriend 740 00:35:39.520 --> 00:35:42.120 or did you just kind of fall into it and decide together? 741 00:35:42.120 --> 00:35:44.680 Just kind of fell into it, decided together. 742 00:35:44.680 --> 00:35:46.840 Okay, but there was a conversation at some point 743 00:35:46.840 --> 00:35:48.400 that, hey, we're exclusive, we're together, 744 00:35:48.400 --> 00:35:49.880 we're not seeing anybody else. 745 00:35:49.880 --> 00:35:50.920 Yes. 746 00:35:50.920 --> 00:35:51.880 Okay. 747 00:35:51.880 --> 00:35:54.600 And you feel like after six months, 748 00:35:54.600 --> 00:35:58.880 I mean, so you feel like there's a kind of like 749 00:35:58.880 --> 00:36:01.520 make it or break it thing that you're at right now 750 00:36:01.520 --> 00:36:03.120 where we're either gonna go forward 751 00:36:03.120 --> 00:36:05.040 into like what, engagement, marriage, 752 00:36:05.040 --> 00:36:06.840 or we're gonna go our separate ways? 753 00:36:09.000 --> 00:36:12.640 I don't think we would be moving towards engagement yet. 754 00:36:12.640 --> 00:36:16.320 I see him as a potential husband 755 00:36:16.320 --> 00:36:19.880 and I see that there's possibility of us having kids. 756 00:36:19.880 --> 00:36:22.720 I feel like I am definitely falling in love with him 757 00:36:22.720 --> 00:36:25.300 but I also feel like there's a lot of ways 758 00:36:25.300 --> 00:36:29.100 that he's not stepping up and stepping into this 759 00:36:29.100 --> 00:36:32.460 and there's lots of fear and anxiety 760 00:36:32.460 --> 00:36:35.620 that kind of rules his life 761 00:36:35.620 --> 00:36:38.800 and affects our relationship in a really negative way. 762 00:36:40.140 --> 00:36:41.060 And so- 763 00:36:41.060 --> 00:36:42.460 Can you wave your hand around 764 00:36:42.460 --> 00:36:44.500 because I'm having trouble finding you. 765 00:36:44.500 --> 00:36:45.320 Okay, there you are. 766 00:36:45.320 --> 00:36:46.160 Thank you. 767 00:36:46.160 --> 00:36:46.980 All right. 768 00:36:46.980 --> 00:36:48.940 Okay, so you said that you feel like 769 00:36:48.940 --> 00:36:51.620 you know what's gonna happen next. 770 00:36:51.620 --> 00:36:53.580 You feel like you're coming here 771 00:36:53.620 --> 00:36:55.700 for kind of like even maybe a confirmation. 772 00:36:55.700 --> 00:36:56.600 So what is that? 773 00:36:57.780 --> 00:36:59.980 Yeah, I'm feeling like it's time to end it. 774 00:37:02.380 --> 00:37:05.940 So I've been looking at my Jesus Cares board. 775 00:37:05.940 --> 00:37:10.020 There's a lot of things he checks off in a lot of good ways. 776 00:37:10.020 --> 00:37:14.140 We're complementary in very, 777 00:37:14.140 --> 00:37:16.380 we're opposite complementary. 778 00:37:16.380 --> 00:37:19.700 I'm introverted but more outgoing than he is 779 00:37:19.700 --> 00:37:22.420 where he is very, very introverted. 780 00:37:22.740 --> 00:37:26.220 Doesn't socialize with anybody. 781 00:37:26.220 --> 00:37:27.820 How often do you see each other? 782 00:37:29.660 --> 00:37:30.940 Two to three times a week. 783 00:37:31.900 --> 00:37:33.380 So you live close? 784 00:37:33.380 --> 00:37:35.340 Yeah, about 35 minutes away. 785 00:37:35.340 --> 00:37:36.900 Any kids involved? 786 00:37:36.900 --> 00:37:38.380 Nope. 787 00:37:38.380 --> 00:37:40.620 Okay, either of you ever been married? 788 00:37:40.620 --> 00:37:42.180 Nope. 789 00:37:42.180 --> 00:37:43.780 You're falling in love with him? 790 00:37:45.500 --> 00:37:49.980 Yeah, I feel like there's, I'm headed that way, yeah. 791 00:37:49.980 --> 00:37:52.540 I don't feel like I'm in love yet. 792 00:37:52.540 --> 00:37:55.700 But you're headed that way and you wanna pull the plug 793 00:37:55.700 --> 00:37:58.260 because you don't think he's falling in love with you. 794 00:37:58.260 --> 00:38:01.180 You're getting more serious than he's getting. 795 00:38:01.180 --> 00:38:02.860 What's your evidence of that? 796 00:38:02.860 --> 00:38:04.500 He's seeing you two to three times a week. 797 00:38:04.500 --> 00:38:06.060 What's your evidence? 798 00:38:06.060 --> 00:38:07.940 For four months, he's been seeing you 799 00:38:07.940 --> 00:38:10.940 two to three times a week, yes? 800 00:38:10.940 --> 00:38:12.540 Yeah, it's not that I don't think 801 00:38:12.540 --> 00:38:14.740 he's falling in love with me. 802 00:38:14.740 --> 00:38:18.060 I just see some really big core issues for us 803 00:38:18.060 --> 00:38:20.180 that are not in alignment. 804 00:38:20.180 --> 00:38:22.500 Our faith, for one. 805 00:38:22.500 --> 00:38:23.900 Okay, tell me about that. 806 00:38:26.580 --> 00:38:28.260 I'm very involved in my church. 807 00:38:28.260 --> 00:38:31.140 I've been in leadership, want to be a church planter, 808 00:38:32.420 --> 00:38:34.100 involved every single week. 809 00:38:34.100 --> 00:38:35.580 He has a life of faith 810 00:38:35.580 --> 00:38:39.100 and he has been a part of the same denomination as me, 811 00:38:39.100 --> 00:38:41.780 but he has issues with the church 812 00:38:41.780 --> 00:38:45.820 because of some racial issues and political issues. 813 00:38:46.740 --> 00:38:49.220 He told me that he wants to get involved again 814 00:38:49.220 --> 00:38:52.180 and he feels the desire and drive to go back, 815 00:38:52.180 --> 00:38:55.020 but his words and actions don't match. 816 00:38:56.460 --> 00:39:00.340 He's not going because in the season 817 00:39:00.340 --> 00:39:02.420 that we're in, racial, politically, 818 00:39:02.420 --> 00:39:05.180 he just has hard time with that. 819 00:39:06.860 --> 00:39:08.700 Does he have, outside of the church, 820 00:39:08.700 --> 00:39:09.980 does he have spiritual community? 821 00:39:09.980 --> 00:39:11.980 Does he have friends that are believers? 822 00:39:11.980 --> 00:39:14.460 Does he have men in his life? 823 00:39:15.300 --> 00:39:18.380 How do you see him as a man of faith? 824 00:39:18.380 --> 00:39:21.860 What kind of relationship does he have with God 825 00:39:21.860 --> 00:39:23.540 and what is the fruit of that? 826 00:39:24.500 --> 00:39:26.620 Yeah, that's what I've been searching for 827 00:39:26.620 --> 00:39:28.980 and looking for at first, 828 00:39:29.900 --> 00:39:31.980 just trusting his word that like, 829 00:39:31.980 --> 00:39:34.220 yeah, I'm in the Bible, I'm reading my Bible, 830 00:39:34.220 --> 00:39:36.500 I'm listening to worship, 831 00:39:36.500 --> 00:39:40.220 but I don't, the more and more I ask about it, 832 00:39:40.220 --> 00:39:42.900 the more and more I invite- 833 00:39:42.900 --> 00:39:43.740 But the thing is, 834 00:39:43.740 --> 00:39:45.980 as you're spending two to three times a week with him, 835 00:39:45.980 --> 00:39:47.660 what kind of fruit do you see in your life? 836 00:39:47.660 --> 00:39:48.500 Is he kind? 837 00:39:48.500 --> 00:39:49.340 Is he gentle? 838 00:39:49.340 --> 00:39:50.500 Is he generous? 839 00:39:50.500 --> 00:39:52.380 You know, what do you see? 840 00:39:52.380 --> 00:39:55.060 He is kind, he's generous. 841 00:39:55.060 --> 00:39:58.980 He does have anger issues that bubble up, 842 00:39:58.980 --> 00:39:59.820 but I mean- 843 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.800 I do too. So, okay. 844 00:40:01.800 --> 00:40:03.420 He has anger issues that bubble up. 845 00:40:03.420 --> 00:40:04.660 Give me an example. 846 00:40:05.900 --> 00:40:08.540 Road rage is his biggest one. 847 00:40:08.540 --> 00:40:10.100 Okay. Let me tell you, 848 00:40:10.100 --> 00:40:12.700 let me tell you guys something about men, gentlemen. 849 00:40:12.700 --> 00:40:15.420 You can, it doesn't have to be true of every man, 850 00:40:15.420 --> 00:40:19.060 but men don't like to feel weak 851 00:40:19.060 --> 00:40:21.540 because they're brainwashed from the time they're born 852 00:40:21.540 --> 00:40:22.820 that they're not allowed to. 853 00:40:22.820 --> 00:40:24.180 Okay. Especially in America. 854 00:40:24.180 --> 00:40:27.140 And so when men feel emotion, 855 00:40:27.160 --> 00:40:29.960 it usually gets transmuted into anger. 856 00:40:30.880 --> 00:40:32.840 Okay. They feel frustrated, angry. 857 00:40:32.840 --> 00:40:34.840 They feel sad, angry. 858 00:40:34.840 --> 00:40:37.040 They, do you guys see what I'm saying here? 859 00:40:38.640 --> 00:40:42.040 So that's what happens because they're taught 860 00:40:42.040 --> 00:40:43.440 that they're not allowed to cry. 861 00:40:43.440 --> 00:40:44.640 They're not, they shouldn't be weak. 862 00:40:44.640 --> 00:40:45.640 They shouldn't, you know, 863 00:40:45.640 --> 00:40:48.800 they shouldn't be pathetic or pitiful. 864 00:40:48.800 --> 00:40:51.100 You know, they shouldn't, you know, whatever. 865 00:40:52.300 --> 00:40:54.240 And a lot of times when we have that deep, 866 00:40:54.240 --> 00:40:57.000 deep rooted sorrow and trauma as a man 867 00:40:57.860 --> 00:41:00.740 that we're not dealing with, that we haven't gotten healed, 868 00:41:00.740 --> 00:41:03.060 anger is just right at the surface. 869 00:41:03.060 --> 00:41:04.860 And that's where road rage comes from. 870 00:41:04.860 --> 00:41:08.220 That's like different things that are not being dealt with 871 00:41:08.220 --> 00:41:11.740 deeper inside of the person that are just like popping off 872 00:41:11.740 --> 00:41:15.580 on the surface when there's any kind of trigger, right? 873 00:41:15.580 --> 00:41:17.180 Has he ever expressed anger towards you? 874 00:41:17.180 --> 00:41:18.700 Has he been verbally abusive? 875 00:41:18.700 --> 00:41:21.220 Has he any kind of aggression towards you? 876 00:41:23.420 --> 00:41:24.900 And you're with him two to three times a week, 877 00:41:24.920 --> 00:41:26.800 but you're saying that he exhibits 878 00:41:26.800 --> 00:41:27.880 other fruit of the spirit. 879 00:41:27.880 --> 00:41:31.520 So he exhibits generosity and kindness. 880 00:41:31.520 --> 00:41:32.440 He's gentle. 881 00:41:32.440 --> 00:41:33.360 He's a gentleman. 882 00:41:33.360 --> 00:41:38.360 Has he respected and even protected your sexuality? 883 00:41:38.720 --> 00:41:39.560 Yes. 884 00:41:40.400 --> 00:41:41.240 Okay. 885 00:41:41.240 --> 00:41:43.200 There's a lot of green flags there, honey. 886 00:41:43.200 --> 00:41:44.040 Yeah. 887 00:41:44.040 --> 00:41:44.880 All right. 888 00:41:44.880 --> 00:41:45.700 Here's the thing. 889 00:41:45.700 --> 00:41:46.540 There's the thing. 890 00:41:46.540 --> 00:41:48.000 And I want her to hear this and I want us all to hear this. 891 00:41:48.000 --> 00:41:50.120 We are not looking for perfect men or women. 892 00:41:50.120 --> 00:41:51.880 We're looking for people that are trying 893 00:41:51.880 --> 00:41:54.640 and you are never ever going to find anyone 894 00:41:55.300 --> 00:41:57.380 who is not struggling or in process 895 00:41:57.380 --> 00:41:59.260 in an area of their life. 896 00:41:59.260 --> 00:42:01.580 So many people right now in this generation 897 00:42:01.580 --> 00:42:03.020 that we're living in because, 898 00:42:03.020 --> 00:42:04.620 guys, look at all the mega churches 899 00:42:04.620 --> 00:42:06.660 that are falling and failing because of abuse 900 00:42:06.660 --> 00:42:09.180 and because of sexual immorality 901 00:42:09.180 --> 00:42:11.020 and all the crazy stuff that's been happening 902 00:42:11.020 --> 00:42:12.180 behind the scenes. 903 00:42:12.180 --> 00:42:13.840 People, especially men, 904 00:42:13.840 --> 00:42:15.500 because they're more practical and logical, 905 00:42:15.500 --> 00:42:18.180 they don't trust stuff like that. 906 00:42:18.180 --> 00:42:21.180 Institutionalized spirituality. 907 00:42:21.200 --> 00:42:24.240 And of course, we're in a highly, highly, 908 00:42:26.800 --> 00:42:27.760 what's the word? 909 00:42:28.840 --> 00:42:30.520 Not detonated. 910 00:42:30.520 --> 00:42:33.360 Highly charged political season 911 00:42:33.360 --> 00:42:35.980 where literally our former president 912 00:42:35.980 --> 00:42:37.800 just almost got assassinated. 913 00:42:37.800 --> 00:42:40.560 Like two inches from getting shot in the head. 914 00:42:41.400 --> 00:42:42.240 All right. 915 00:42:42.240 --> 00:42:45.200 We're living in crazy, crazy, crazy times. 916 00:42:45.200 --> 00:42:47.920 And so, yes, there's a lot of people 917 00:42:47.920 --> 00:42:49.840 deconstructing right now. 918 00:42:49.860 --> 00:42:53.420 Now, I'm not here to tell you not to call it quits 919 00:42:54.300 --> 00:42:56.500 or to call it quits, 920 00:42:56.500 --> 00:42:59.140 but I am saying that it's important 921 00:42:59.140 --> 00:43:01.060 that you understand that no one 922 00:43:01.060 --> 00:43:02.980 is going to ever have it all together. 923 00:43:04.460 --> 00:43:05.420 Yeah. 924 00:43:05.420 --> 00:43:08.660 As long as they want to try to have it all together. 925 00:43:08.660 --> 00:43:12.340 And remember, friends, we're not gift inspectors. 926 00:43:12.340 --> 00:43:13.380 We're not looking for someone. 927 00:43:13.380 --> 00:43:16.460 How many hours did you volunteer at church this week? 928 00:43:17.000 --> 00:43:17.840 You know? 929 00:43:19.200 --> 00:43:20.840 We're not looking for gift inspectors. 930 00:43:20.840 --> 00:43:22.400 We're looking for fruit inspectors. 931 00:43:22.400 --> 00:43:26.360 Fruit is the only true indicator of relationship with God. 932 00:43:26.360 --> 00:43:28.160 It is the only true indicator. 933 00:43:28.160 --> 00:43:30.040 And no one can fake it till they make it. 934 00:43:30.040 --> 00:43:31.320 Eventually, you're gonna see 935 00:43:31.320 --> 00:43:33.080 whether or not their fruit is real. 936 00:43:34.000 --> 00:43:34.940 Yeah. 937 00:43:34.940 --> 00:43:37.440 Whether it really is from them being in the word. 938 00:43:37.440 --> 00:43:39.980 Whether it really is from them spending time with God. 939 00:43:39.980 --> 00:43:42.780 And just because they're not spending time 940 00:43:42.780 --> 00:43:44.900 in a building that we call church, 941 00:43:47.440 --> 00:43:48.440 right? 942 00:43:48.440 --> 00:43:49.400 And we want that, you guys. 943 00:43:49.400 --> 00:43:50.760 We have to have community, 944 00:43:50.760 --> 00:43:53.900 especially now more than ever, ever before. 945 00:43:53.900 --> 00:43:55.620 So one thing that I want to say to you 946 00:43:55.620 --> 00:43:59.880 before you pull the plug is offer this community to him. 947 00:43:59.880 --> 00:44:01.920 We have an amazing men's community. 948 00:44:01.920 --> 00:44:04.280 It sounds like he needs men in his life. 949 00:44:04.280 --> 00:44:05.480 A lot of people that come here 950 00:44:05.480 --> 00:44:07.040 are people that have been spiritually hurt. 951 00:44:07.040 --> 00:44:08.560 You know, you can tell him that my husband 952 00:44:08.560 --> 00:44:11.280 was at a mega church for 27 years 953 00:44:11.280 --> 00:44:13.560 and on staff for 15 of those years, 954 00:44:13.560 --> 00:44:16.920 and they fired him out of nowhere 955 00:44:16.920 --> 00:44:19.420 after he'd given his entire life to them 956 00:44:19.420 --> 00:44:21.620 and really hurt, it really hurt him. 957 00:44:21.620 --> 00:44:23.020 And now that same mega church 958 00:44:23.020 --> 00:44:26.460 is falling under horrible scrutiny 959 00:44:26.460 --> 00:44:30.340 because of all kinds of terrible things that they've done. 960 00:44:30.340 --> 00:44:32.500 And so my husband is finally getting some vindication 961 00:44:32.500 --> 00:44:35.460 and some healing from giving so much of his life 962 00:44:35.460 --> 00:44:38.580 to someplace that could throw him away so easily. 963 00:44:38.580 --> 00:44:40.080 And so, so many people have been hurt 964 00:44:40.080 --> 00:44:43.380 by what we call church and they've deconstructed. 965 00:44:44.200 --> 00:44:45.440 So now it's time to reconstruct. 966 00:44:45.440 --> 00:44:48.440 And so definitely offer that to him. 967 00:44:48.440 --> 00:44:49.840 We'll be praying for you. 968 00:44:49.840 --> 00:44:51.040 We can't give you, like I said, 969 00:44:51.040 --> 00:44:52.480 we can't give you a yes or no, 970 00:44:52.480 --> 00:44:54.680 but based on what you've said today, 971 00:44:54.680 --> 00:44:56.680 it sounds like he's a really good guy 972 00:44:56.680 --> 00:44:59.960 who is just on the back burner of ministry. 973 00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:02.200 because of things that have happened in his life. 974 00:45:02.200 --> 00:45:04.020 And people like that get moved 975 00:45:04.020 --> 00:45:06.400 to the front burner pretty quickly. 976 00:45:06.400 --> 00:45:10.260 Yeah, I've heard the coaching and from a lot of calls 977 00:45:10.260 --> 00:45:13.200 and that's what's kept me holding on of like, 978 00:45:14.840 --> 00:45:17.240 being the social director for people's lives 979 00:45:17.240 --> 00:45:20.940 that you feel like there's this prophetic word 980 00:45:20.940 --> 00:45:24.180 that women are bringing men to the church to kind of, 981 00:45:25.080 --> 00:45:27.800 where they just need that catalyst to get there. 982 00:45:27.800 --> 00:45:29.080 And so those are things that I'm like, 983 00:45:29.080 --> 00:45:32.680 okay, I see that that could be playing out for us. 984 00:45:32.680 --> 00:45:34.640 The other thing that I see- 985 00:45:34.640 --> 00:45:36.760 I wanna say one more thing before you say that 986 00:45:36.760 --> 00:45:37.920 because I wanna answer that. 987 00:45:37.920 --> 00:45:40.960 I don't think that women are bringing men to the church. 988 00:45:40.960 --> 00:45:42.880 I'm gonna say something pretty scandalous. 989 00:45:42.880 --> 00:45:46.420 I think that, I think church, the church age is over. 990 00:45:47.640 --> 00:45:49.560 And if you quit my community because of this, 991 00:45:49.560 --> 00:45:52.160 then you're probably taking what I'm saying out of context. 992 00:45:52.160 --> 00:45:53.480 I believe the church age, 993 00:45:53.480 --> 00:45:56.640 the building of the church age is over. 994 00:45:56.640 --> 00:45:58.200 I believe that we're in a kingdom age 995 00:45:58.200 --> 00:45:59.440 and I believe that kingdom looks like 996 00:45:59.440 --> 00:46:00.840 a lot of things, friends. 997 00:46:00.840 --> 00:46:02.500 It looks like doing life together 998 00:46:02.500 --> 00:46:04.400 with like-minded believers that are going 999 00:46:04.400 --> 00:46:05.480 the same direction. 1000 00:46:05.480 --> 00:46:07.560 Now, we always talk about the book of Daniel and Daniel 1001 00:46:07.560 --> 00:46:09.680 and how he was able to stand up to Nebuchadnezzar 1002 00:46:09.680 --> 00:46:11.540 and all the different things that happened there. 1003 00:46:11.540 --> 00:46:13.480 But we forget that he was in relationship 1004 00:46:13.480 --> 00:46:15.800 with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. 1005 00:46:15.800 --> 00:46:19.840 They were a micro church within Babylon, right? 1006 00:46:19.840 --> 00:46:21.720 And they were all called there for a purpose. 1007 00:46:21.720 --> 00:46:25.420 They were all there to show these people 1008 00:46:25.420 --> 00:46:28.260 what it looked like to be sons of God. 1009 00:46:28.260 --> 00:46:29.820 And so we're doing life together. 1010 00:46:29.820 --> 00:46:32.180 My husband and I, yeah, we do have a spiritual community 1011 00:46:32.180 --> 00:46:33.100 that we hang out with. 1012 00:46:33.100 --> 00:46:34.780 We go to a church called Bethel Austin here, 1013 00:46:34.780 --> 00:46:37.000 love the pastors, they're good friends of ours. 1014 00:46:37.000 --> 00:46:38.340 We're out of town a lot. 1015 00:46:38.340 --> 00:46:40.900 So if that was the only spiritual camaraderie 1016 00:46:40.900 --> 00:46:43.000 we were gonna get, we'd be in big trouble. 1017 00:46:43.000 --> 00:46:47.720 But we have a vast community of spiritual entrepreneurs, 1018 00:46:47.720 --> 00:46:50.180 kingdom entrepreneurs that we do life with. 1019 00:46:50.180 --> 00:46:53.100 And any given time that we're at, they're praying for us, 1020 00:46:53.100 --> 00:46:54.940 we're praying for them, we're doing life together, 1021 00:46:55.700 --> 00:46:58.180 we just all went to Disneyland together with our families 1022 00:46:58.180 --> 00:47:00.740 and spent a week, like four or five days together, 1023 00:47:00.740 --> 00:47:03.580 just really like uplifting each other in the Lord. 1024 00:47:03.580 --> 00:47:08.180 And you guys, we can coast on the power of that gathering 1025 00:47:08.180 --> 00:47:11.060 for three or four months because it was so powerful. 1026 00:47:11.060 --> 00:47:13.420 We don't have quantity of time with them all the time, 1027 00:47:13.420 --> 00:47:15.060 but we have quality of time. 1028 00:47:15.060 --> 00:47:18.100 And so you have to understand that this is what 1029 00:47:18.100 --> 00:47:20.200 the Ekklesia looks like. 1030 00:47:21.060 --> 00:47:22.480 Now, if you have a local church 1031 00:47:22.480 --> 00:47:25.800 that has an Ekklesia mindset, amazing. 1032 00:47:25.800 --> 00:47:27.000 You're a blessed person. 1033 00:47:27.000 --> 00:47:31.280 But a lot of people are going to Church Incorporated 1034 00:47:31.280 --> 00:47:33.680 that is a small business that has turned into 1035 00:47:33.680 --> 00:47:37.400 maybe even a mega Fortune 500 business. 1036 00:47:37.400 --> 00:47:40.000 And that's what it is, it's a business. 1037 00:47:40.000 --> 00:47:44.100 And when we mix business with spiritual things, 1038 00:47:44.100 --> 00:47:45.480 people get hurt. 1039 00:47:45.480 --> 00:47:48.580 And that is what has happened across the board everywhere. 1040 00:47:48.580 --> 00:47:51.560 And so God's doing a new thing, friends, He really is. 1041 00:47:51.560 --> 00:47:53.280 And there are a lot of people that are never gonna 1042 00:47:53.280 --> 00:47:56.360 darken the door of Church Incorporated. 1043 00:47:56.360 --> 00:47:58.440 They're not gonna darken the door of Church Incorporated, 1044 00:47:58.440 --> 00:48:01.080 but they are going to come to a home group or a cell group 1045 00:48:01.080 --> 00:48:04.540 or some sort of club that you start for people 1046 00:48:04.540 --> 00:48:07.440 who are believers that like to play pickleball. 1047 00:48:07.440 --> 00:48:08.760 And then you guys worship together 1048 00:48:08.760 --> 00:48:09.920 and pray over one another. 1049 00:48:09.920 --> 00:48:11.440 You break bread together. 1050 00:48:11.440 --> 00:48:14.760 You continue in the teachings of the apostles. 1051 00:48:14.760 --> 00:48:16.080 Go back to the book of Acts, friends. 1052 00:48:16.080 --> 00:48:17.280 We need to go back to study hall 1053 00:48:17.280 --> 00:48:19.440 and see what the church really looks like. 1054 00:48:19.440 --> 00:48:22.120 We're the church, okay? 1055 00:48:22.120 --> 00:48:23.960 And so for all of you that are single, 1056 00:48:23.960 --> 00:48:26.640 if you have to have someone who is a church person 1057 00:48:26.640 --> 00:48:28.000 because you're a church person 1058 00:48:28.000 --> 00:48:29.840 and that's a deal breaker for you, okay. 1059 00:48:29.840 --> 00:48:31.160 I'm not gonna talk you out of that. 1060 00:48:31.160 --> 00:48:33.860 But what I am saying is that a lot of times people 1061 00:48:33.860 --> 00:48:36.880 will hide a lot of their dysfunction 1062 00:48:36.880 --> 00:48:38.680 underneath their church membership. 1063 00:48:38.680 --> 00:48:40.240 And people will be blindsided 1064 00:48:40.240 --> 00:48:42.380 because this person goes to church and they serve 1065 00:48:42.380 --> 00:48:43.520 and they speak in tongues 1066 00:48:43.520 --> 00:48:45.480 and they raise their hands to worship. 1067 00:48:45.480 --> 00:48:47.680 But they're just really a wolf in sheep's clothing 1068 00:48:47.680 --> 00:48:51.800 or a wolfette, a wolfette in sheep's clothing. 1069 00:48:51.800 --> 00:48:53.920 So please friends, be careful with that 1070 00:48:53.920 --> 00:48:57.840 because the fruit cannot be faked, but the gifts can. 1071 00:48:59.000 --> 00:49:00.000 All right. 1072 00:49:00.000 --> 00:49:00.840 Okay, now go ahead. 1073 00:49:00.840 --> 00:49:03.560 You can say the rest of what you wanna say. 1074 00:49:03.560 --> 00:49:08.560 Yeah, I just, I have a hard time seeing us as a missional, 1075 00:49:08.840 --> 00:49:10.520 like a couple on a mission, 1076 00:49:10.520 --> 00:49:13.920 like that we're working towards the same purpose. 1077 00:49:13.960 --> 00:49:18.560 I see a lot of me making accommodations for him. 1078 00:49:19.680 --> 00:49:22.120 He has too much anxiety one time 1079 00:49:22.120 --> 00:49:24.920 or it's too far for him to drive to my house. 1080 00:49:24.920 --> 00:49:26.760 My dog is too much for him. 1081 00:49:26.760 --> 00:49:29.880 And so spending a lot of time going to his spaces. 1082 00:49:29.880 --> 00:49:34.100 And we've talked about that, where that's my frustration. 1083 00:49:34.100 --> 00:49:39.100 But I desire someone who has ambition and motivation 1084 00:49:39.440 --> 00:49:42.520 but that also means motivation and ambition 1085 00:49:42.520 --> 00:49:45.320 in our relationship to make us better. 1086 00:49:45.320 --> 00:49:49.080 And I don't see him doing that. 1087 00:49:51.600 --> 00:49:54.400 He does it at a very, very in dribs and drabs. 1088 00:49:54.400 --> 00:49:56.240 Like there is some movement, 1089 00:49:56.240 --> 00:49:59.240 but it takes a lot of courage. 1090 00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.140 focusing to get that to happen. 1091 00:50:02.140 --> 00:50:06.520 And I don't know, I'm kind of at the point where I- 1092 00:50:06.520 --> 00:50:10.320 It sounds like he has a lot of unhealed trauma. 1093 00:50:10.320 --> 00:50:11.920 You know, unhealed trauma will cause us 1094 00:50:11.920 --> 00:50:13.280 to be procrastinators. 1095 00:50:13.280 --> 00:50:16.020 It will cause us to not take accountability 1096 00:50:16.020 --> 00:50:18.440 for change in our lives because we just get stuck 1097 00:50:18.440 --> 00:50:20.640 and we don't know what to do next. 1098 00:50:20.640 --> 00:50:22.920 So you're right, it's not your job to fix him. 1099 00:50:22.920 --> 00:50:25.200 And if you have told him that these things bother you 1100 00:50:25.200 --> 00:50:28.440 and he has not changed them or tried to change them, 1101 00:50:28.440 --> 00:50:30.160 you guys, that's the green flag. 1102 00:50:30.160 --> 00:50:31.480 We're not expecting perfect people, 1103 00:50:31.480 --> 00:50:33.600 but we let people know, hey, you know, 1104 00:50:33.600 --> 00:50:36.740 I, this really bothers me, it troubles me. 1105 00:50:36.740 --> 00:50:38.560 I just, I don't want to be in relationship 1106 00:50:38.560 --> 00:50:42.400 where this is a dynamic and they don't acknowledge it 1107 00:50:42.400 --> 00:50:45.360 and then work on changing it, 1108 00:50:45.360 --> 00:50:47.800 then that yellow flag becomes red. 1109 00:50:47.800 --> 00:50:50.800 And so we need to make sure that we understand that. 1110 00:50:50.800 --> 00:50:53.560 Now, if you do decide to, you know, 1111 00:50:53.560 --> 00:50:54.800 let him go his own way, 1112 00:50:54.800 --> 00:50:56.120 then make sure that you leave him better 1113 00:50:56.120 --> 00:50:59.120 than you found him, turn his sails to the wind. 1114 00:50:59.120 --> 00:51:02.560 You know, being broken up with is never fun 1115 00:51:02.560 --> 00:51:05.240 and it's not gonna be happy moment. 1116 00:51:05.240 --> 00:51:10.040 But, you know, if you do it right, quote unquote, 1117 00:51:10.040 --> 00:51:13.560 then he, you know, it won't just be another 1118 00:51:13.560 --> 00:51:16.000 disappointing rejection type of thing. 1119 00:51:16.000 --> 00:51:18.060 And that's not on you, that's not your problem, 1120 00:51:18.060 --> 00:51:21.160 but just make sure that it's not, 1121 00:51:21.160 --> 00:51:25.080 it's not a whole list of, well, you know, 1122 00:51:25.080 --> 00:51:27.160 I want this and I want a man like that. 1123 00:51:27.160 --> 00:51:29.120 And, you know, I'm, you know, 1124 00:51:29.120 --> 00:51:30.920 basically I'm better than you. 1125 00:51:30.920 --> 00:51:32.320 Let's just, let's make sure that 1126 00:51:32.320 --> 00:51:33.680 that doesn't come off that way. 1127 00:51:33.680 --> 00:51:35.080 Okay. 1128 00:51:35.080 --> 00:51:37.040 But yeah, keep us posted. 1129 00:51:37.040 --> 00:51:37.860 It sounds like, you know, 1130 00:51:37.860 --> 00:51:39.360 what you want to do and what you need to do. 1131 00:51:39.360 --> 00:51:41.120 And sometimes that's enough of a catalyst 1132 00:51:41.120 --> 00:51:42.920 for people to make change. 1133 00:51:42.920 --> 00:51:45.720 I saw that happen with a recent breakup. 1134 00:51:45.720 --> 00:51:47.440 The breakup did happen. 1135 00:51:47.440 --> 00:51:50.160 And now, and a lot of times we'll think, 1136 00:51:50.160 --> 00:51:51.600 oh, well, they're just trying to win me back. 1137 00:51:51.600 --> 00:51:54.000 No, sometimes it's a catalyst 1138 00:51:54.000 --> 00:51:58.760 because trauma actually brings trauma to the surface. 1139 00:51:58.760 --> 00:52:00.320 And so when someone gets broken up with, 1140 00:52:00.320 --> 00:52:01.880 especially if they're really falling in love 1141 00:52:01.880 --> 00:52:02.720 with that person, 1142 00:52:02.720 --> 00:52:04.840 or they're really attaching to that person, 1143 00:52:04.840 --> 00:52:07.600 then that trauma actually makes trauma come to the surface. 1144 00:52:07.600 --> 00:52:09.000 And some people will medicate it 1145 00:52:09.000 --> 00:52:13.880 and some people will go after healing for it. 1146 00:52:13.880 --> 00:52:17.880 So a trauma can actually cause it to be a catalyst 1147 00:52:17.880 --> 00:52:19.720 for other trauma to get healed. 1148 00:52:19.720 --> 00:52:22.160 And so that happens too sometimes. 1149 00:52:22.160 --> 00:52:23.600 Rob is saying soft encouragement, 1150 00:52:24.160 --> 00:52:26.000 how we feel apt to engage with personal emotions 1151 00:52:26.000 --> 00:52:28.800 other than angry and hungry throughout the day. 1152 00:52:30.360 --> 00:52:31.200 That's fun. 1153 00:52:32.560 --> 00:52:33.760 Two feelings for men. 1154 00:52:33.760 --> 00:52:34.960 I'm angry and I'm hungry. 1155 00:52:34.960 --> 00:52:36.800 Is that what we're saying there, Rob? 1156 00:52:37.640 --> 00:52:38.480 I should say so. 1157 00:52:39.600 --> 00:52:40.440 Yeah. 1158 00:52:40.440 --> 00:52:42.280 I think that there's a third thing that men feel 1159 00:52:42.280 --> 00:52:43.760 that you're leaving out there. 1160 00:52:46.120 --> 00:52:46.960 Please tell. 1161 00:52:50.880 --> 00:52:52.160 It begins with an H. 1162 00:52:52.160 --> 00:52:53.000 All right. 1163 00:52:53.000 --> 00:52:55.320 So Joshua says, 1164 00:52:55.320 --> 00:52:57.040 I'm burned out from churchianity. 1165 00:52:57.040 --> 00:52:58.400 Come on, bro. 1166 00:52:58.400 --> 00:53:00.360 Used to serve my heart out for 10 years. 1167 00:53:00.360 --> 00:53:01.600 Don't regret it though, 1168 00:53:01.600 --> 00:53:03.160 because I knew I did it. 1169 00:53:03.160 --> 00:53:04.320 And for whom? 1170 00:53:04.320 --> 00:53:05.480 Time for a new season, 1171 00:53:05.480 --> 00:53:06.720 but I don't know what to do, 1172 00:53:06.720 --> 00:53:08.720 especially since I'm still anchored 1173 00:53:08.720 --> 00:53:10.360 to the church in some ways. 1174 00:53:10.360 --> 00:53:11.680 You guys, it's not... 1175 00:53:12.880 --> 00:53:14.840 Can you bring my two cans over? 1176 00:53:14.840 --> 00:53:16.400 Can you bring my two cans over? 1177 00:53:17.280 --> 00:53:18.120 I know. 1178 00:53:18.120 --> 00:53:18.960 I know, babe. 1179 00:53:18.960 --> 00:53:20.360 I'm live right now. 1180 00:53:20.360 --> 00:53:21.200 I love you. 1181 00:53:21.200 --> 00:53:22.080 Thank you. 1182 00:53:22.880 --> 00:53:25.080 You guys, see this little opal pendant? 1183 00:53:26.280 --> 00:53:28.800 This is some jewelry that my mom's husband 1184 00:53:28.800 --> 00:53:30.920 gave to me of hers when she passed away. 1185 00:53:31.880 --> 00:53:34.960 And my husband accidentally sucked it up 1186 00:53:34.960 --> 00:53:39.960 in a vacuum at a car wash today. 1187 00:53:40.400 --> 00:53:44.360 And he went over there and had them 1188 00:53:44.360 --> 00:53:46.960 check all the filters and all the vacuums for it, 1189 00:53:46.960 --> 00:53:47.840 and they found it. 1190 00:53:47.840 --> 00:53:48.760 And here it is. 1191 00:53:50.480 --> 00:53:51.560 Here it is, you guys. 1192 00:53:51.560 --> 00:53:53.160 That's a miracle. 1193 00:53:53.160 --> 00:53:54.560 That's a miracle that this was found. 1194 00:53:54.560 --> 00:53:56.480 Do you see how tiny it is? 1195 00:53:56.480 --> 00:53:57.320 I mean, you can't, 1196 00:53:57.320 --> 00:53:58.440 I don't think you can even see how pretty it is. 1197 00:53:58.440 --> 00:53:59.680 It's a fire opal. 1198 00:53:59.680 --> 00:54:02.440 But, wow. 1199 00:54:03.960 --> 00:54:04.800 He just bought it. 1200 00:54:04.800 --> 00:54:06.040 And he's crying, you guys. 1201 00:54:06.040 --> 00:54:08.040 He's crying over here. 1202 00:54:08.040 --> 00:54:08.880 Baba! 1203 00:54:10.720 --> 00:54:11.560 Miracle. 1204 00:54:11.560 --> 00:54:12.680 It is, it's a miracle. 1205 00:54:12.680 --> 00:54:13.520 God is so good. 1206 00:54:13.520 --> 00:54:15.640 We prayed, we asked God to return this. 1207 00:54:16.720 --> 00:54:19.520 We asked God to return this, you guys. 1208 00:54:19.520 --> 00:54:20.360 And he did. 1209 00:54:20.360 --> 00:54:21.480 I'm so thankful. 1210 00:54:22.440 --> 00:54:23.280 He just found it. 1211 00:54:23.280 --> 00:54:24.120 He has brought it in. 1212 00:54:24.120 --> 00:54:25.800 Bring me my two cans, please. 1213 00:54:25.800 --> 00:54:26.640 Okay. 1214 00:54:28.320 --> 00:54:29.400 What Joshua said, you guys, 1215 00:54:29.400 --> 00:54:30.800 just let's just stay here for a moment. 1216 00:54:30.800 --> 00:54:32.840 This is so important because so many of you 1217 00:54:32.840 --> 00:54:35.280 are wanting to marry church people, right? 1218 00:54:35.280 --> 00:54:38.000 Because that's the paradigm that you've been living in, 1219 00:54:38.000 --> 00:54:39.680 but God's shifting something. 1220 00:54:40.600 --> 00:54:43.560 Everything that can be shaken will be shaken. 1221 00:54:43.560 --> 00:54:45.200 Do you guys see how many scandals 1222 00:54:45.200 --> 00:54:47.920 are rocking the church world right now? 1223 00:54:47.920 --> 00:54:50.440 The kingdom cannot be shaken, just so you know. 1224 00:54:51.600 --> 00:54:53.440 Whatever can be shaken will be shaken 1225 00:54:53.440 --> 00:54:57.480 so that what cannot be shaken has room to remain 1226 00:54:57.480 --> 00:54:59.760 or grow or prosper or gain ground. 1227 00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.080 As all of these man-made edifices, 1228 00:55:02.080 --> 00:55:04.400 all this church incorporated is shaking 1229 00:55:04.400 --> 00:55:05.960 because we put men on pedestals 1230 00:55:05.960 --> 00:55:09.960 and then we're surprised when they fall off, right? 1231 00:55:09.960 --> 00:55:11.360 My pastor went to prison, y'all. 1232 00:55:11.360 --> 00:55:12.800 I got all the mugs and t-shirts. 1233 00:55:12.800 --> 00:55:14.660 Don't tell me, I know. 1234 00:55:16.380 --> 00:55:18.320 I walked into the church that I served loyally 1235 00:55:18.320 --> 00:55:19.160 for 13 years. 1236 00:55:19.160 --> 00:55:20.840 I was there because it was Pentecostal 1237 00:55:20.840 --> 00:55:22.460 three to four times a week. 1238 00:55:22.460 --> 00:55:25.600 Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, Friday night. 1239 00:55:25.600 --> 00:55:27.680 These people love to have church friends. 1240 00:55:27.760 --> 00:55:30.160 And they are the people that discipled me. 1241 00:55:30.160 --> 00:55:33.020 And I served in leadership during all of that, 1242 00:55:33.020 --> 00:55:35.600 through all my anxiety, through all my problems, 1243 00:55:35.600 --> 00:55:36.480 my agoraphobia. 1244 00:55:36.480 --> 00:55:38.640 In fact, the only place I could go for a whole season 1245 00:55:38.640 --> 00:55:40.400 and leave my house was to church. 1246 00:55:40.400 --> 00:55:42.600 I drove the church van for 10 years. 1247 00:55:42.600 --> 00:55:47.120 Guys, I put my blood, sweat, tears, prayers, intercession. 1248 00:55:47.120 --> 00:55:50.080 I also was there for women's prayer on Wednesday mornings. 1249 00:55:50.080 --> 00:55:53.560 I was there for youth service on Friday nights, everything. 1250 00:55:54.400 --> 00:55:57.200 And then one day someone walked into the church 1251 00:55:57.720 --> 00:55:58.920 and just said, your pastor stole all the money. 1252 00:55:58.920 --> 00:55:59.920 He's going to prison. 1253 00:55:59.920 --> 00:56:02.840 And that day the church fell apart and closed down. 1254 00:56:02.840 --> 00:56:04.640 And I had no church. 1255 00:56:04.640 --> 00:56:06.720 Overnight, the rug got pulled out from under us. 1256 00:56:06.720 --> 00:56:07.560 It was crazy. 1257 00:56:07.560 --> 00:56:08.520 And it got worse than that. 1258 00:56:08.520 --> 00:56:09.760 Way, way, way worse. 1259 00:56:09.760 --> 00:56:11.080 I'm not gonna go into that. 1260 00:56:11.080 --> 00:56:14.400 But when you put people on pedestals, they fall down. 1261 00:56:14.400 --> 00:56:15.680 They fall off pedestals. 1262 00:56:15.680 --> 00:56:18.240 When you give people inappropriate power 1263 00:56:18.240 --> 00:56:19.280 and control over you, 1264 00:56:19.280 --> 00:56:20.880 just because they have the word pastor 1265 00:56:20.880 --> 00:56:21.960 in front of their name, 1266 00:56:21.960 --> 00:56:24.360 or evangelist, or prophet, or anything else, 1267 00:56:24.360 --> 00:56:27.560 then it falls apart. 1268 00:56:27.560 --> 00:56:28.840 Boundaries are crossed. 1269 00:56:29.960 --> 00:56:31.320 Hearts are broken. 1270 00:56:31.320 --> 00:56:33.640 Disappointment comes, disillusionment comes. 1271 00:56:33.640 --> 00:56:38.560 And in worst case scenarios, even more crazy stuff happens. 1272 00:56:40.680 --> 00:56:42.440 Even more crazy stuff. 1273 00:56:42.440 --> 00:56:44.680 And under the guise of being spiritually 1274 00:56:44.680 --> 00:56:46.600 and emotionally abused. 1275 00:56:46.600 --> 00:56:49.400 So Church Inc., and not all churches are like that, 1276 00:56:49.400 --> 00:56:50.360 but there's a lot of them 1277 00:56:50.360 --> 00:56:53.960 where there is inappropriate control happening. 1278 00:56:55.120 --> 00:56:59.080 People are building something that's not eternal. 1279 00:57:00.200 --> 00:57:04.680 They're having church, but they are not the church. 1280 00:57:04.680 --> 00:57:08.200 Now you can tell, have you gone to a church for decades, 1281 00:57:08.200 --> 00:57:10.160 but your life has not improved? 1282 00:57:10.160 --> 00:57:11.960 You're not living John 10, 10. 1283 00:57:11.960 --> 00:57:13.200 You're still dealing with shame. 1284 00:57:13.200 --> 00:57:14.920 You're still dealing with all kinds of the sin, 1285 00:57:14.920 --> 00:57:17.360 same shame cycle, right? 1286 00:57:17.360 --> 00:57:18.360 You're not being fed. 1287 00:57:18.360 --> 00:57:19.200 You feel empty. 1288 00:57:19.200 --> 00:57:20.040 You feel lost. 1289 00:57:20.640 --> 00:57:21.480 You feel confused. 1290 00:57:21.480 --> 00:57:22.560 You're still broke. 1291 00:57:24.880 --> 00:57:27.720 You still have the same old job that you don't like. 1292 00:57:27.720 --> 00:57:28.680 You still feel lonely. 1293 00:57:28.680 --> 00:57:29.720 You don't have community. 1294 00:57:29.720 --> 00:57:30.600 You don't have friends. 1295 00:57:30.600 --> 00:57:31.560 You go to your church, 1296 00:57:31.560 --> 00:57:33.240 and you feel like nobody even knows you there. 1297 00:57:33.240 --> 00:57:35.320 Friends, that's the Church Incorporated. 1298 00:57:37.560 --> 00:57:38.960 That's not the Ecclesia. 1299 00:57:40.080 --> 00:57:43.080 And so many people, like the guy that she's talking about, 1300 00:57:43.080 --> 00:57:44.400 they've been hurt by this. 1301 00:57:46.000 --> 00:57:47.800 Churches that are super political, 1302 00:57:50.080 --> 00:57:51.240 super, super political. 1303 00:57:51.240 --> 00:57:52.400 They're nationalists. 1304 00:57:52.400 --> 00:57:54.280 It's all about America. 1305 00:57:54.280 --> 00:57:55.920 You guys, we come from a kingdom, 1306 00:57:57.520 --> 00:57:59.320 and we're gonna return to that kingdom. 1307 00:57:59.320 --> 00:58:00.960 That kingdom is invading earth through us. 1308 00:58:00.960 --> 00:58:02.840 We are pilgrims, the Bible says. 1309 00:58:05.120 --> 00:58:06.520 Now, I love this country, 1310 00:58:06.520 --> 00:58:09.120 and I would prefer to live here than anywhere else, 1311 00:58:11.400 --> 00:58:14.120 but my allegiance is not to America. 1312 00:58:14.120 --> 00:58:15.960 My allegiance is to Jesus. 1313 00:58:16.920 --> 00:58:18.680 That's what the Ecclesia looks like. 1314 00:58:21.040 --> 00:58:23.040 And so, friends, it's important that we understand that, 1315 00:58:23.040 --> 00:58:24.440 and I wanna tell you something. 1316 00:58:24.440 --> 00:58:25.600 I'm gonna prophesy this 1317 00:58:25.600 --> 00:58:28.120 because I'm a prophet to the single nation. 1318 00:58:28.120 --> 00:58:29.240 Things are shaken up, 1319 00:58:30.720 --> 00:58:34.520 and that's not a doomsday declaration 1320 00:58:34.520 --> 00:58:37.320 because my Bible tells me that things get shaken 1321 00:58:37.320 --> 00:58:38.600 because they can be shaken 1322 00:58:38.600 --> 00:58:40.640 so that what cannot be shaken 1323 00:58:40.640 --> 00:58:43.720 has more room to explode on the scene. 1324 00:58:43.840 --> 00:58:44.880 And so, I don't know about you, 1325 00:58:44.880 --> 00:58:47.320 but that's an exciting thought to me, 1326 00:58:48.480 --> 00:58:52.960 that the kingdom would have room to explode on the scene 1327 00:58:52.960 --> 00:58:54.680 and that people could actually meet 1328 00:58:54.680 --> 00:58:56.880 the king of that kingdom, Jesus. 1329 00:58:59.360 --> 00:59:02.480 The church is keeping a lot of people from Jesus right now 1330 00:59:02.480 --> 00:59:05.440 because of its hypocrisy and its prejudice 1331 00:59:05.440 --> 00:59:09.280 and its racism and its sexism and its nationalism, 1332 00:59:09.280 --> 00:59:12.240 all the isms that are going on in the church right now. 1333 00:59:13.120 --> 00:59:16.640 All the isms are schisms in the body of Christ, 1334 00:59:16.640 --> 00:59:18.720 and it's time for us to push past that. 1335 00:59:18.720 --> 00:59:21.560 And so, if you have a great church full of kingdom people 1336 00:59:21.560 --> 00:59:24.040 that are doing kingdom work and partnering together, 1337 00:59:24.040 --> 00:59:25.680 then bravo, that's amazing. 1338 00:59:25.680 --> 00:59:29.240 But remember, people don't care how much you know 1339 00:59:29.240 --> 00:59:30.880 until they know how much you care. 1340 00:59:30.880 --> 00:59:31.840 And there's a lot of people 1341 00:59:31.840 --> 00:59:34.120 that we have to win back to the Ecclesia 1342 00:59:35.360 --> 00:59:37.240 because they are part of the church, 1343 00:59:37.240 --> 00:59:38.320 because we are the church, 1344 00:59:38.320 --> 00:59:40.720 but they have been hurt by the false one. 1345 00:59:41.560 --> 00:59:43.080 And so, just let's keep that in mind. 1346 00:59:43.080 --> 00:59:44.600 Sorry, I didn't mean to go off on a tirade. 1347 00:59:44.600 --> 00:59:46.000 You guys, look at what I bought today. 1348 00:59:46.000 --> 00:59:48.920 Oh my gosh, I can't wait to show you this. 1349 00:59:48.920 --> 00:59:50.920 They're finger puppets and they're toucans. 1350 00:59:50.920 --> 00:59:52.680 One can't, but two can. 1351 00:59:52.680 --> 00:59:53.720 Look at how cute they are. 1352 00:59:53.720 --> 00:59:55.880 Someone knit these and made these. 1353 00:59:55.880 --> 00:59:58.360 And if you want one of these, let me know 1354 00:59:58.360 --> 01:00:00.920 because I'm gonna get with the lady that made these. 1355 01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:02.620 He's and I'm going to have her make us some. 1356 01:00:02.620 --> 01:00:06.140 And if you want to get one, they're only $3 and you know, 1357 01:00:06.540 --> 01:00:07.660 we can mail them out. 1358 01:00:07.700 --> 01:00:08.340 Aren't they cute. 1359 01:00:09.220 --> 01:00:09.780 So cute. 1360 01:00:10.020 --> 01:00:10.380 All right. 1361 01:00:10.440 --> 01:00:12.020 I don't think you can see how cute they are. 1362 01:00:12.060 --> 01:00:12.860 They're so detailed. 1363 01:00:12.860 --> 01:00:14.260 Look at its little feet right there. 1364 01:00:14.260 --> 01:00:14.940 Just so cute. 1365 01:00:15.060 --> 01:00:15.380 All right. 1366 01:00:16.320 --> 01:00:19.260 All the guys are just like, Oh my gosh, Jackie, you're so corny. 1367 01:00:19.260 --> 01:00:19.820 I know. 1368 01:00:19.900 --> 01:00:22.760 I know I am, but all the ladies love it and that's all that matters. 1369 01:00:22.820 --> 01:00:23.180 Okay. 1370 01:00:23.820 --> 01:00:24.660 Quote of the day. 1371 01:00:24.660 --> 01:00:26.180 The fruit cannot be faked. 1372 01:00:26.340 --> 01:00:27.140 It's you're not can't. 1373 01:00:27.260 --> 01:00:27.620 Okay. 1374 01:00:27.960 --> 01:00:30.240 So our sister is going to report back to us. 1375 01:00:30.280 --> 01:00:33.440 I believe that Holy spirit is going to show her what she needs to do. 1376 01:00:33.920 --> 01:00:40.000 And, um, and yeah, that's gonna, that's gonna be great. 1377 01:00:40.560 --> 01:00:40.960 Okay. 1378 01:00:41.400 --> 01:00:45.480 Um, Andrea, we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna try to go 1379 01:00:45.480 --> 01:00:46.720 faster with our love seats. 1380 01:00:46.760 --> 01:00:48.320 So Andrea, you're in the love seat. 1381 01:00:49.560 --> 01:00:50.320 Thank you. 1382 01:00:50.360 --> 01:00:50.720 Okay. 1383 01:00:50.720 --> 01:00:56.840 So, um, so I met, um, I did the prophesy your year in January and had a word 1384 01:00:56.860 --> 01:01:01.700 that I would meet someone in April or March and that confirmed 1385 01:01:01.700 --> 01:01:02.860 what I'd already been feeling. 1386 01:01:02.860 --> 01:01:04.500 And so I was like, okay, this is awesome. 1387 01:01:04.500 --> 01:01:07.180 And you said, even if it's crazy, write it down. 1388 01:01:07.180 --> 01:01:09.940 So I wrote down what I saw, which was penguins and mountains. 1389 01:01:10.020 --> 01:01:12.340 And I was like, okay, so wrote that down. 1390 01:01:12.660 --> 01:01:17.460 I ended up, um, getting on upward met, um, uh, the guy that I'm dating now. 1391 01:01:17.500 --> 01:01:21.300 And on March 5th, we met there, we met like a week or two later. 1392 01:01:21.800 --> 01:01:27.000 Um, and he happened to buy a shirt for our date that had a little penguin on it. 1393 01:01:27.000 --> 01:01:29.360 And I was like, oh my gosh, that's so awesome. 1394 01:01:29.360 --> 01:01:32.240 And there was just lots of confirmations from that. 1395 01:01:32.240 --> 01:01:34.000 And things were going really, really good. 1396 01:01:34.360 --> 01:01:36.240 Um, he was very intentional. 1397 01:01:36.300 --> 01:01:37.440 Um, he's a single dad. 1398 01:01:37.440 --> 01:01:38.440 I'm a single mom. 1399 01:01:38.480 --> 01:01:39.420 My daughter's 11. 1400 01:01:39.420 --> 01:01:40.520 His is 14. 1401 01:01:41.040 --> 01:01:42.440 We lived two hours away. 1402 01:01:42.680 --> 01:01:45.560 And so there was just this very, just very intentional. 1403 01:01:45.560 --> 01:01:46.880 I was like, wow, I'm being treated. 1404 01:01:46.880 --> 01:01:49.480 I wasn't super attracted in the beginning, but I was like, he's so 1405 01:01:49.500 --> 01:01:53.660 intentional and he's like you said, the fruit, there was a lot of fruit, but 1406 01:01:53.660 --> 01:01:57.540 then I kept feeling like, what's the difference between a suddenly and love 1407 01:01:57.540 --> 01:02:01.380 bombing, like I've never been in that like love bombing, but so anyway, I just 1408 01:02:01.380 --> 01:02:06.220 kept in it and then something happened that, um, that really shook me up. 1409 01:02:06.220 --> 01:02:10.980 So, um, in the very beginning, he made a few comments about being kind of jealous 1410 01:02:11.020 --> 01:02:15.260 and it just made me feel kind of, and so finally I asked him, what does that 1411 01:02:15.260 --> 01:02:19.340 look like when you say you're, you can be jealous, how would I experience you? 1412 01:02:19.700 --> 01:02:20.820 When you were jealous. 1413 01:02:20.820 --> 01:02:22.540 And he's like, oh, great question. 1414 01:02:22.820 --> 01:02:24.860 I'm not like some psycho guy or anything. 1415 01:02:24.880 --> 01:02:26.700 I probably would just keep it on the inside. 1416 01:02:26.700 --> 01:02:27.420 You'd never know. 1417 01:02:27.820 --> 01:02:29.020 And I was like, okay, okay. 1418 01:02:29.020 --> 01:02:33.340 And then about two months later, we'd been dating about three months. 1419 01:02:33.500 --> 01:02:40.840 Um, I was at his house and he ended up taking a call, um, with one of his like 1420 01:02:40.840 --> 01:02:42.940 friends, a woman, he's a therapist. 1421 01:02:42.940 --> 01:02:46.140 So there was that, I know he has this desire to like help people and love on 1422 01:02:46.140 --> 01:02:46.640 people. 1423 01:02:47.080 --> 01:02:51.160 And, um, he kind of, it just seemed like he was being secretive with it. 1424 01:02:51.160 --> 01:02:53.520 And so I asked him, I was like, who were you talking to? 1425 01:02:53.520 --> 01:02:57.320 It's like 11 o'clock at night, like, you know, and he, he told me it was 1426 01:02:57.320 --> 01:03:01.440 his friend and she was crying and, and I just felt like, that's kind of 1427 01:03:01.440 --> 01:03:03.280 like, I drove down here to see you. 1428 01:03:03.280 --> 01:03:06.720 Like, we're getting ready to watch a movie and you chose to do that. 1429 01:03:06.720 --> 01:03:07.000 Yeah. 1430 01:03:07.000 --> 01:03:10.240 It took five minutes, but it just felt really awkward. 1431 01:03:10.240 --> 01:03:13.800 And so when I asked him about it, he said, oh, you know, babe, are you jealous? 1432 01:03:13.820 --> 01:03:16.860 And I was like, no, I just think that was weird. 1433 01:03:16.860 --> 01:03:20.020 And, um, and then he goes, well, cause I don't have, like, I'm not 1434 01:03:20.020 --> 01:03:21.420 jealous and I don't have that. 1435 01:03:21.480 --> 01:03:22.460 And I was like, what do you mean? 1436 01:03:22.460 --> 01:03:23.220 You don't have that? 1437 01:03:23.220 --> 01:03:25.660 Like, I really, it really bothered me. 1438 01:03:25.660 --> 01:03:27.000 I'm like, am I triggered right now? 1439 01:03:27.000 --> 01:03:29.420 Or is this like really something's wrong with this? 1440 01:03:29.460 --> 01:03:33.540 And, um, so anyway, I asked him about it and he didn't admit it in the moment. 1441 01:03:34.020 --> 01:03:38.140 But ever since then I've had, um, I've just had this, like, I don't want to 1442 01:03:38.140 --> 01:03:40.780 open my heart back to him because I feel like I can't trust them. 1443 01:03:40.840 --> 01:03:44.840 And about a week ago, we finally talked for like the third time 1444 01:03:44.920 --> 01:03:46.480 because he asked me what was going on. 1445 01:03:46.480 --> 01:03:48.520 And I said, I just feel like I can't get past it. 1446 01:03:48.520 --> 01:03:50.240 I, I don't know how they both can be true. 1447 01:03:50.240 --> 01:03:51.640 How can you be kind of jealous? 1448 01:03:51.720 --> 01:03:53.400 And then you're not jealous at all. 1449 01:03:53.800 --> 01:03:59.720 So my question is, is it seems like a red flag, but I wasn't sure if what 1450 01:03:59.720 --> 01:04:01.080 your coaching would be around that. 1451 01:04:01.680 --> 01:04:02.920 That was one of my questions. 1452 01:04:03.920 --> 01:04:07.760 Well, let me ask you what, what do you think is the red flag in the story 1453 01:04:08.120 --> 01:04:09.840 that he's not jealous? 1454 01:04:10.420 --> 01:04:11.820 Yeah, that he said he was jealous. 1455 01:04:11.820 --> 01:04:15.860 And then when it came time, when I asked him about something he did, he asked me 1456 01:04:15.860 --> 01:04:19.380 if I was jealous and told me he didn't have jealousy, he didn't, that wasn't. 1457 01:04:19.780 --> 01:04:22.420 And he doesn't remember saying that to me ever. 1458 01:04:24.620 --> 01:04:25.100 Okay. 1459 01:04:25.620 --> 01:04:30.420 So do you think, do you think the red flag is him not remember saying it or 1460 01:04:30.420 --> 01:04:33.020 him just saying that, you know, why are you jealous? 1461 01:04:33.020 --> 01:04:35.140 Like, I don't get jealous, which thing? 1462 01:04:35.140 --> 01:04:35.340 Yeah. 1463 01:04:35.340 --> 01:04:39.580 I, I think that it felt like we had three conversations. 1464 01:04:39.580 --> 01:04:42.160 Like he, we brought up the whole jealousy thing three different 1465 01:04:42.160 --> 01:04:44.520 times, like on dates, like, Oh, here's an example, Andrea. 1466 01:04:44.520 --> 01:04:48.580 This is, this is how my jealousy shows up even in friendships. 1467 01:04:48.640 --> 01:04:49.560 Oh, okay, cool. 1468 01:04:49.880 --> 01:04:53.400 But he acted like he didn't remember any of the conversations and that 1469 01:04:53.400 --> 01:04:54.840 made me feel really uncomfortable. 1470 01:04:54.920 --> 01:04:56.520 Like, how can you not remember? 1471 01:04:57.120 --> 01:04:57.600 I'm sorry. 1472 01:04:57.600 --> 01:04:58.680 I just have to have clarity. 1473 01:04:58.680 --> 01:05:00.000 So you're saying that he told. 1474 01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.600 told you in other previous conversations that he was jealous. 1475 01:05:03.600 --> 01:05:06.640 And then in this situation, he said that he doesn't get jealous. 1476 01:05:07.120 --> 01:05:07.620 Yes. 1477 01:05:08.800 --> 01:05:09.240 Okay. 1478 01:05:09.680 --> 01:05:09.920 All right. 1479 01:05:09.920 --> 01:05:14.560 First of all, let's just go back to 11 o'clock at night, talking to a girl. 1480 01:05:14.560 --> 01:05:17.400 That's a friend on the phone when you're in town. 1481 01:05:17.760 --> 01:05:20.640 Um, I think that if he was hiding something, you probably wouldn't have 1482 01:05:20.640 --> 01:05:22.200 answered the phone while you're there. 1483 01:05:22.240 --> 01:05:27.040 Secondly, um, people that are therapists, counselors, coaches, a lot 1484 01:05:27.040 --> 01:05:28.720 of times they have bad boundaries. 1485 01:05:29.680 --> 01:05:32.480 Um, people that are people that are in those professions. 1486 01:05:32.520 --> 01:05:36.720 And I say this because of my own self, we have to really learn boundaries, 1487 01:05:36.720 --> 01:05:38.320 people that love to help people. 1488 01:05:38.320 --> 01:05:39.520 They want to help people. 1489 01:05:39.880 --> 01:05:42.520 A lot of times they draw people. 1490 01:05:42.840 --> 01:05:45.280 They attract people that have a lot of problems. 1491 01:05:45.680 --> 01:05:49.600 And then if you don't have boundaries, you're talking to people at 11 or 12 1492 01:05:49.600 --> 01:05:52.480 o'clock at three o'clock in the morning, you're going out to rescue someone. 1493 01:05:52.480 --> 01:05:53.600 That kind of stuff's happening. 1494 01:05:53.840 --> 01:05:58.240 So that's kind of what I saw there of him, just not having good boundaries. 1495 01:05:58.600 --> 01:06:02.480 Um, you know, with this person, um, and you know, it's a woman, 1496 01:06:02.680 --> 01:06:04.400 you know, I coach men and women. 1497 01:06:04.400 --> 01:06:06.320 So I'm talking to men all day long. 1498 01:06:06.320 --> 01:06:11.440 If my husband was jealous, um, really friends jealous, isn't a thing. 1499 01:06:12.040 --> 01:06:14.040 It's, it's a by-product of fear. 1500 01:06:14.520 --> 01:06:17.880 And that specific type of fear comes from a lack of trust. 1501 01:06:18.440 --> 01:06:20.120 And so that can be a lot of different things. 1502 01:06:20.120 --> 01:06:24.600 So a lack of trust for that person, because they're not trustworthy or a lack 1503 01:06:24.600 --> 01:06:28.480 of trust for that type of person, whether it's a man, whether it's a woman, 1504 01:06:28.480 --> 01:06:31.560 just in general, because you haven't forgiven other people that have betrayed 1505 01:06:31.560 --> 01:06:33.160 you that are men or women. 1506 01:06:33.840 --> 01:06:37.400 And so it's important that you understand that now, if I had a husband who was not 1507 01:06:37.400 --> 01:06:42.360 a securely attached person who didn't trust me and you know, who I haven't 1508 01:06:42.360 --> 01:06:46.640 proven myself to be trustworthy over the last 17 years, um, then I probably 1509 01:06:46.640 --> 01:06:49.200 wouldn't be able to fulfill the calling on my life. 1510 01:06:50.040 --> 01:06:51.960 Now, do I have good boundaries? 1511 01:06:52.000 --> 01:06:53.760 Have I learned how to have good boundaries? 1512 01:06:53.760 --> 01:06:54.240 Yes. 1513 01:06:54.920 --> 01:07:01.160 Um, with, you know, with coaching clients that are men, you know, um, yes, I, I 1514 01:07:01.160 --> 01:07:04.280 have, I have learned how to have good boundaries and we've, I've never had any 1515 01:07:04.280 --> 01:07:09.960 situation where I've even had a coaching client who tried to talk to me in any 1516 01:07:09.960 --> 01:07:15.880 kind of inappropriate way, because I don't give off the vibe that you can. 1517 01:07:16.840 --> 01:07:20.480 So the bottom line is, is I don't give off the vibe that you can, like I have a 1518 01:07:20.520 --> 01:07:26.120 big, you know, you know, you know what I have written across my forehead, if 1519 01:07:26.120 --> 01:07:27.560 someone would even start that. 1520 01:07:27.920 --> 01:07:28.360 Okay. 1521 01:07:28.480 --> 01:07:31.120 And so that's important to have that kind of posturing and 1522 01:07:31.120 --> 01:07:33.360 those kinds of boundaries up. 1523 01:07:33.640 --> 01:07:39.800 So the other thing is, is that in the moment, um, with you kind of calling him 1524 01:07:39.800 --> 01:07:43.720 on the carpet, you know, people do say things in the moment when, when there's 1525 01:07:44.120 --> 01:07:48.320 a lot of tension and different things happening, um, he may have just said that 1526 01:07:48.320 --> 01:07:50.160 to try to diffuse the situation. 1527 01:07:50.480 --> 01:07:53.680 And also he may have said that out of kind of the fight or flight 1528 01:07:53.680 --> 01:07:55.160 fawn or freeze response. 1529 01:07:55.560 --> 01:07:59.200 And a lot of times when we say something out of the fawn or freeze response, we 1530 01:07:59.200 --> 01:08:03.000 actually won't remember what we said, because we're like in a, we're like in a 1531 01:08:03.000 --> 01:08:06.600 state of panic almost, you know, like, Oh, I made this person upset. 1532 01:08:06.640 --> 01:08:08.640 So it's just like, Oh, you know, don't get mad. 1533 01:08:08.640 --> 01:08:09.680 Everything's okay. 1534 01:08:10.040 --> 01:08:14.760 Um, so it's possibly that, um, do you think that he displays a lot of jealousy 1535 01:08:14.760 --> 01:08:18.560 towards you and wanting you not to wanting you to have good boundaries 1536 01:08:18.560 --> 01:08:21.359 with males, with other men? 1537 01:08:21.399 --> 01:08:24.319 I mean, I'm a, I'm a hairdresser, so I I'm close with men and 1538 01:08:24.319 --> 01:08:25.800 women because of what I do too. 1539 01:08:25.800 --> 01:08:27.279 So I don't think that. 1540 01:08:27.920 --> 01:08:29.160 I don't think that he really does. 1541 01:08:29.160 --> 01:08:30.120 There were just a few things. 1542 01:08:30.120 --> 01:08:33.720 Like I went to the pool with my daughter and he's like, Oh, any cute guys there. 1543 01:08:33.720 --> 01:08:37.880 And, and, you know, like he just would make little comments and he would laugh 1544 01:08:37.880 --> 01:08:40.279 about it, but I'm like, it just, I don't know. 1545 01:08:40.279 --> 01:08:43.399 I just didn't like it, but I didn't think it was a deal breaker because he didn't 1546 01:08:43.399 --> 01:08:46.640 show any like signs of, of a big thing. 1547 01:08:46.640 --> 01:08:50.439 But the, so the other thing was with the marriage thing, he was 1548 01:08:50.439 --> 01:08:51.880 bringing up marriage right away. 1549 01:08:51.880 --> 01:08:53.080 Like, I'm going to marry you. 1550 01:08:53.080 --> 01:08:54.880 Like, I mean, obviously you'd have to marry me. 1551 01:08:54.880 --> 01:08:56.560 And I'm like, we just met like a month ago. 1552 01:08:56.560 --> 01:08:58.200 Like it's like, okay. 1553 01:08:58.520 --> 01:09:03.880 And then finally one night I was just like, I've been engaged five times, never married. 1554 01:09:03.880 --> 01:09:07.880 And so like, first of all, I just met second of all, like engagements 1555 01:09:07.880 --> 01:09:10.760 have always gone bad up until now. 1556 01:09:10.760 --> 01:09:14.279 And so I just, I said it sarcastically, which I apologize for it, but I was like, 1557 01:09:14.279 --> 01:09:16.600 can we just like not talk about marriage for a day? 1558 01:09:16.600 --> 01:09:21.080 Like, we just kind of met like, like I really care about you and yeah, I 1559 01:09:21.080 --> 01:09:24.040 could see potential future, but that's like a, that's a lot. 1560 01:09:24.040 --> 01:09:27.800 And then after that, he just kind of, he did stop talking about it, but 1561 01:09:27.800 --> 01:09:30.040 he also started focusing on work. 1562 01:09:30.040 --> 01:09:31.479 And I asked him about that. 1563 01:09:31.479 --> 01:09:35.560 I said, you, I said what you had told me in the beginning that you treat me 1564 01:09:35.560 --> 01:09:37.240 differently than you've treated anybody else. 1565 01:09:37.240 --> 01:09:38.279 And it's on purpose. 1566 01:09:38.279 --> 01:09:39.319 You're a new person. 1567 01:09:39.319 --> 01:09:40.279 You've grown a lot. 1568 01:09:40.359 --> 01:09:42.680 You've healed a lot from your divorce and all of these things. 1569 01:09:43.560 --> 01:09:46.359 How, how long distance you guys are long distance? 1570 01:09:46.359 --> 01:09:47.000 Two hours. 1571 01:09:47.960 --> 01:09:48.279 Okay. 1572 01:09:48.279 --> 01:09:49.560 And how often do you see each other? 1573 01:09:50.359 --> 01:09:52.680 Just about once a week, maybe twice a week. 1574 01:09:53.479 --> 01:09:53.960 Okay. 1575 01:09:53.960 --> 01:09:55.720 And how long have you been seeing each other? 1576 01:09:56.360 --> 01:09:57.080 Since March. 1577 01:09:58.120 --> 01:09:58.600 Okay. 1578 01:09:58.600 --> 01:09:59.800 And is this the only thing? 1579 01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:01.700 that's happened that bothers you? 1580 01:10:04.520 --> 01:10:06.440 No, the other thing was just, 1581 01:10:06.440 --> 01:10:07.940 he wasn't respecting my boundaries 1582 01:10:07.940 --> 01:10:10.800 about like kissing and things like that. 1583 01:10:11.680 --> 01:10:15.400 Okay, when did that start, not respecting your boundaries? 1584 01:10:15.400 --> 01:10:16.600 Oh, pretty early on. 1585 01:10:18.320 --> 01:10:23.320 Okay, and did you tell him how that made you feel? 1586 01:10:24.100 --> 01:10:29.100 Yeah, and it's better now, but like, yeah, it's better now. 1587 01:10:29.220 --> 01:10:32.220 But then he says it, yeah, it's better now, 1588 01:10:32.220 --> 01:10:34.740 but once you've kissed somebody and had, you know, 1589 01:10:34.740 --> 01:10:36.620 intimacy, like kissing and stuff, 1590 01:10:36.620 --> 01:10:39.500 then you take that away and then it just feels, 1591 01:10:39.500 --> 01:10:41.900 like, I don't know if that was my fault. 1592 01:10:41.900 --> 01:10:44.740 Obviously, I didn't wanna do that, so I did, yeah. 1593 01:10:45.620 --> 01:10:47.280 So what do you like about him? 1594 01:10:48.700 --> 01:10:50.580 I like that he's a good dad. 1595 01:10:50.580 --> 01:10:52.580 And I've heard one of your calls, you're like, 1596 01:10:52.580 --> 01:10:55.520 don't, you didn't maybe exactly say don't be a brat, 1597 01:10:55.520 --> 01:10:58.180 but you're like, give the single dad the break. 1598 01:10:58.180 --> 01:10:59.180 Like, they're doing a lot. 1599 01:10:59.180 --> 01:11:00.740 And he has her 50% of the time. 1600 01:11:00.740 --> 01:11:04.980 I love that he loves people well, and I love that. 1601 01:11:04.980 --> 01:11:07.460 And then there's also times where I'm like, 1602 01:11:07.460 --> 01:11:08.940 am I being a total brat here? 1603 01:11:08.940 --> 01:11:12.340 Because there's so many times when I'm in his town 1604 01:11:12.340 --> 01:11:15.020 where we go out and he interrupts our conversation 1605 01:11:15.020 --> 01:11:18.420 to talk to people, because he, I guess he's been like, 1606 01:11:18.420 --> 01:11:21.580 in the magazines there and stuff for being, you know, 1607 01:11:21.580 --> 01:11:22.900 whatever, he's been there. 1608 01:11:22.900 --> 01:11:25.540 And I, like on one hand, I think that's amazing, 1609 01:11:25.540 --> 01:11:26.380 but on the other hand- 1610 01:11:27.140 --> 01:11:28.820 Are you telling me that when you're out and about 1611 01:11:28.820 --> 01:11:30.940 in his town, people recognize him and come up 1612 01:11:30.940 --> 01:11:32.380 and want to talk to him? 1613 01:11:32.380 --> 01:11:33.540 Yes, and vice versa. 1614 01:11:33.540 --> 01:11:36.940 Or he'll go up and see people and start talking, yeah. 1615 01:11:36.940 --> 01:11:38.500 Every single time? 1616 01:11:38.500 --> 01:11:39.580 Yes. 1617 01:11:39.580 --> 01:11:40.940 Okay. 1618 01:11:40.940 --> 01:11:41.780 All right. 1619 01:11:41.780 --> 01:11:44.500 And you guys only see each other once or twice a week? 1620 01:11:44.500 --> 01:11:45.580 Yes. 1621 01:11:45.580 --> 01:11:46.540 Okay. 1622 01:11:46.540 --> 01:11:47.380 All right. 1623 01:11:47.380 --> 01:11:48.580 So good dad, loves people well. 1624 01:11:48.580 --> 01:11:50.180 What else do you like about him? 1625 01:11:52.860 --> 01:11:55.100 I love, like he takes care. 1626 01:11:55.100 --> 01:11:58.260 I love seeing how he, like little kids love him, 1627 01:11:58.260 --> 01:11:59.100 run up to him. 1628 01:11:59.100 --> 01:12:01.860 And one of his businesses deals with kids. 1629 01:12:01.860 --> 01:12:05.940 And I just love seeing, it can be hard to love kids. 1630 01:12:05.940 --> 01:12:08.060 And just seeing the connection there. 1631 01:12:08.060 --> 01:12:09.460 He's really sweet to my daughter. 1632 01:12:09.460 --> 01:12:11.660 My daughter really loves him. 1633 01:12:11.660 --> 01:12:12.860 She's like, he's so kind. 1634 01:12:12.860 --> 01:12:15.780 And, but she even said, is everything okay? 1635 01:12:15.780 --> 01:12:18.380 Like a few weeks ago, she goes, he's still kind and nice, 1636 01:12:18.380 --> 01:12:20.260 but something's just different, mom. 1637 01:12:20.260 --> 01:12:22.780 And I was like, okay, you're 11, 1638 01:12:22.780 --> 01:12:24.420 for her to say something different. 1639 01:12:24.420 --> 01:12:27.220 And she couldn't put her finger on it either. 1640 01:12:27.220 --> 01:12:28.580 Yeah, but has she heard you, 1641 01:12:28.580 --> 01:12:30.660 has she heard you questioning the relationship 1642 01:12:30.660 --> 01:12:32.820 with anyone on the phone? 1643 01:12:32.820 --> 01:12:36.820 She, if she was listening when my door was closed possibly, 1644 01:12:36.820 --> 01:12:39.300 but not like in front of her, in front of her. 1645 01:12:39.300 --> 01:12:40.740 So there could have been that. 1646 01:12:40.740 --> 01:12:43.580 Our kids hear a lot more than we think they do. 1647 01:12:43.580 --> 01:12:45.780 And there's been plenty of times where my daughter 1648 01:12:45.780 --> 01:12:49.180 has competed complete, has repeated back to me, 1649 01:12:49.180 --> 01:12:51.700 kind of my own mindsets about different people 1650 01:12:51.700 --> 01:12:52.540 and different things 1651 01:12:52.540 --> 01:12:55.900 because she heard me saying something about it. 1652 01:12:55.900 --> 01:12:58.260 And so that's why we have to be careful with that. 1653 01:12:58.260 --> 01:13:00.140 Right, so here's what I want to say about this. 1654 01:13:00.140 --> 01:13:03.780 Okay, so, you know, you've been engaged five times, 1655 01:13:03.780 --> 01:13:05.100 you've never made it to the altar. 1656 01:13:05.100 --> 01:13:07.700 So you got it, you got a heart wound there, okay? 1657 01:13:08.540 --> 01:13:10.700 Right, when things start getting serious, 1658 01:13:10.700 --> 01:13:13.460 then things, the cracks start showing up in the foundation, 1659 01:13:13.460 --> 01:13:15.620 you start seeing them and you know, 1660 01:13:15.620 --> 01:13:17.700 and then, and then things fall apart. 1661 01:13:17.700 --> 01:13:20.300 Okay, so you've never paid it past that watermark. 1662 01:13:20.300 --> 01:13:22.540 This guy was wanting to get you to that watermark 1663 01:13:22.540 --> 01:13:26.420 really quickly, so he's poking your wound, number one. 1664 01:13:26.420 --> 01:13:28.660 Okay, nothing that you said to me 1665 01:13:28.660 --> 01:13:31.780 is a red flag in and of itself. 1666 01:13:31.780 --> 01:13:34.460 But remember, yellow flags turn red 1667 01:13:34.460 --> 01:13:37.100 when we talk to people about their behavior 1668 01:13:37.100 --> 01:13:41.940 and they either blow it off, dismiss it, justify it 1669 01:13:41.940 --> 01:13:44.980 and don't change it, right? 1670 01:13:44.980 --> 01:13:47.220 And again, if we're being irrational, we're being crazy 1671 01:13:47.220 --> 01:13:49.540 and we're demanding things that don't, you know, 1672 01:13:49.540 --> 01:13:53.020 that aren't things that people should do, that's one story. 1673 01:13:53.020 --> 01:13:55.700 But you only see this guy one to two times a week 1674 01:13:55.700 --> 01:13:58.380 and when you're going out and you could be exaggerating, 1675 01:13:58.380 --> 01:14:00.300 so you have to hold yourself accountable here 1676 01:14:00.300 --> 01:14:02.620 because I can only coach you on what you're telling me. 1677 01:14:02.620 --> 01:14:05.660 But if he is like spending time talking to other people 1678 01:14:05.660 --> 01:14:07.620 and making the rounds and shaking the hands 1679 01:14:07.620 --> 01:14:09.340 and kissing the babies, you know, 1680 01:14:09.340 --> 01:14:11.540 that's because that's where he gets his significance 1681 01:14:11.540 --> 01:14:13.540 and he wants to be the star of the show 1682 01:14:13.540 --> 01:14:14.700 and the center of attention 1683 01:14:14.700 --> 01:14:17.220 and that's gonna be a problem, all right? 1684 01:14:17.220 --> 01:14:18.540 Yeah, he admitted that. 1685 01:14:18.540 --> 01:14:20.940 I mean, he actually admitted that to me 1686 01:14:20.940 --> 01:14:23.140 and he also said it's good business 1687 01:14:23.140 --> 01:14:24.980 because you know, if you're being nice to people 1688 01:14:24.980 --> 01:14:26.140 and you have businesses 1689 01:14:26.140 --> 01:14:28.020 and you need people to come into your businesses. 1690 01:14:28.020 --> 01:14:29.220 So anyway, but yeah. 1691 01:14:29.220 --> 01:14:30.300 Yeah, but he's not, 1692 01:14:30.300 --> 01:14:32.340 but he only sees you once to twice a week 1693 01:14:32.340 --> 01:14:33.900 and if he wants to court you, 1694 01:14:33.900 --> 01:14:35.300 then you need to be the person 1695 01:14:35.300 --> 01:14:36.900 that he's paying attention to. 1696 01:14:36.900 --> 01:14:39.300 And he's gonna have to learn how to have good boundaries 1697 01:14:39.300 --> 01:14:40.860 because the only thing worse 1698 01:14:40.860 --> 01:14:42.940 than being married to a woman with no boundaries 1699 01:14:42.940 --> 01:14:45.780 is being married to a man with no boundaries. 1700 01:14:45.820 --> 01:14:47.900 And you're like, why is it worse for a man? 1701 01:14:47.900 --> 01:14:51.020 Because men usually have better boundaries than women. 1702 01:14:51.020 --> 01:14:53.220 And if you're with a man that doesn't have good boundaries 1703 01:14:53.220 --> 01:14:55.460 and it's like, oh, that's weird, all right? 1704 01:14:55.460 --> 01:14:58.220 Because men usually have no problem telling people no. 1705 01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.200 And so you definitely want to have a conversation about this. 1706 01:15:03.200 --> 01:15:06.760 Like, Hey, you know, um, I've got to come first. 1707 01:15:06.760 --> 01:15:09.440 And the way that I feel about things has to be important. 1708 01:15:10.020 --> 01:15:13.700 Um, you know, he's gonna have to have good boundaries, especially as a therapist, 1709 01:15:13.700 --> 01:15:17.720 especially as a coach of some sort, because he can't just be talking to people 1710 01:15:17.720 --> 01:15:20.100 at 11 o'clock at night, business hours. 1711 01:15:20.200 --> 01:15:20.740 Okay. 1712 01:15:21.000 --> 01:15:24.660 And he can't be spending all of his time, juking and jiving and kissing babies and 1713 01:15:24.660 --> 01:15:31.140 shaking hands when you know, you, you need him to be focused on you or the family. 1714 01:15:31.660 --> 01:15:33.940 And so that is what I would tell you to do. 1715 01:15:34.220 --> 01:15:35.940 Um, I put it before Holy spirit. 1716 01:15:36.220 --> 01:15:39.500 I definitely would tell him how you feel about these things. 1717 01:15:39.540 --> 01:15:40.900 Ask him for change. 1718 01:15:40.900 --> 01:15:43.140 And then if you don't see it, I guess you'll have your answer. 1719 01:15:44.140 --> 01:15:44.700 Thank you. 1720 01:15:45.700 --> 01:15:46.420 You're welcome. 1721 01:15:47.340 --> 01:15:47.740 All right. 1722 01:15:48.340 --> 01:15:50.820 Julie K you're in the love seat. 1723 01:15:51.900 --> 01:15:52.340 Hi. 1724 01:15:53.300 --> 01:15:53.580 Yeah. 1725 01:15:53.660 --> 01:16:01.420 Um, so, uh, I, I went on a, uh, this weekend on a third date with someone 1726 01:16:01.420 --> 01:16:07.540 I've been talking to since, um, middle of may, um, like I posted about it in the 1727 01:16:07.540 --> 01:16:09.180 group, it was like an ax throwing date. 1728 01:16:09.260 --> 01:16:16.540 Um, and, um, I'm attracted to him, but I don't, I think I have relationship 1729 01:16:16.540 --> 01:16:21.260 anxiety and I just, I don't know if he likes me. 1730 01:16:22.220 --> 01:16:24.700 Um, I don't know. 1731 01:16:24.700 --> 01:16:28.900 I just don't see him like cherishing me. 1732 01:16:28.900 --> 01:16:30.100 Like I want to be cherished. 1733 01:16:30.140 --> 01:16:31.500 Um, okay. 1734 01:16:31.620 --> 01:16:36.540 How many dates have you been on three, three dates. 1735 01:16:36.780 --> 01:16:37.300 Okay. 1736 01:16:37.340 --> 01:16:40.620 And after the last date, what happened? 1737 01:16:40.620 --> 01:16:41.980 Did he ask you to go out again? 1738 01:16:43.860 --> 01:16:50.740 Um, yeah, he, he does, but he's, he's kind of, uh, he, he makes it known that 1739 01:16:50.740 --> 01:16:52.700 he wants to go out again, but he waits. 1740 01:16:53.420 --> 01:16:57.340 He does wait like until two days before to plan it. 1741 01:16:58.420 --> 01:16:58.820 Okay. 1742 01:16:59.100 --> 01:17:03.980 So I guess my, my biggest, my biggest flag here is you actually use the word 1743 01:17:03.980 --> 01:17:09.220 cherish for someone you've been on three dates with, so no one's getting 1744 01:17:09.220 --> 01:17:10.740 cherished in three dates, y'all. 1745 01:17:11.220 --> 01:17:12.420 No one's cherished. 1746 01:17:12.460 --> 01:17:12.900 Okay. 1747 01:17:13.020 --> 01:17:16.620 Love y'all, but you're not getting cherished in three dates. 1748 01:17:16.660 --> 01:17:17.260 Okay. 1749 01:17:18.140 --> 01:17:21.460 And, and, and listen, that, that hits home for me because that's a prayer 1750 01:17:21.460 --> 01:17:23.060 that I used to pray in my first marriage. 1751 01:17:23.100 --> 01:17:25.700 I was very verbally, emotionally, and spiritually abused. 1752 01:17:25.700 --> 01:17:27.780 And my first marriage was bullied. 1753 01:17:28.180 --> 01:17:33.060 You know, I was just basically left to die, left to drown and die, um, with 1754 01:17:33.060 --> 01:17:36.860 mental health issues and physical health issues, and I used to cry out to the 1755 01:17:36.860 --> 01:17:42.380 Lord and say, I just need you to, to, to send me someone people, not just a love 1756 01:17:42.380 --> 01:17:47.580 interest, but people that will care about me, that will cherish me. 1757 01:17:47.620 --> 01:17:49.100 Like I want to be cherished. 1758 01:17:49.100 --> 01:17:51.940 I want to be valued by someone. 1759 01:17:51.940 --> 01:17:54.660 And you cherish something that's very valuable, right? 1760 01:17:54.940 --> 01:17:57.180 That you've come to recognize is very valuable. 1761 01:17:57.380 --> 01:17:58.500 And so that hits home with me. 1762 01:17:58.500 --> 01:18:02.260 I understand you want to be cherished, but no one's going to cherish you. 1763 01:18:03.180 --> 01:18:04.820 Cherish is something that has to grow. 1764 01:18:06.660 --> 01:18:07.020 All right. 1765 01:18:07.100 --> 01:18:08.660 It's not going to happen in three days. 1766 01:18:08.940 --> 01:18:11.100 Now respect, respect. 1767 01:18:11.100 --> 01:18:12.340 You can happen in three days. 1768 01:18:12.340 --> 01:18:13.420 Respect your time. 1769 01:18:13.940 --> 01:18:15.460 Respect your boundaries. 1770 01:18:15.500 --> 01:18:16.300 That can happen. 1771 01:18:17.940 --> 01:18:18.220 Okay. 1772 01:18:19.220 --> 01:18:19.700 In three days. 1773 01:18:19.740 --> 01:18:20.020 Okay. 1774 01:18:20.020 --> 01:18:20.340 Yeah. 1775 01:18:20.340 --> 01:18:26.860 I think, um, it's partially maybe like I'm comparing to an X, which was like 1776 01:18:26.860 --> 01:18:32.060 four years ago that I think probably fell under love bombing. 1777 01:18:32.220 --> 01:18:37.460 So I, I think I'm like comparing to that and I'm like, I just don't feel it here. 1778 01:18:37.500 --> 01:18:40.540 Um, but, um, besides that, 1779 01:18:41.100 --> 01:18:43.060 your ex, your ex love bombed you. 1780 01:18:44.220 --> 01:18:45.380 Yeah, I would say so. 1781 01:18:45.460 --> 01:18:45.780 Yeah. 1782 01:18:46.420 --> 01:18:48.100 And you guys, let's just face it. 1783 01:18:48.500 --> 01:18:49.500 Let's just be honest. 1784 01:18:49.500 --> 01:18:49.900 Everyone. 1785 01:18:49.900 --> 01:18:50.580 Let's be honest. 1786 01:18:51.300 --> 01:18:58.060 Love bombing feels so good when you've been like a dry desert lands 1787 01:18:58.060 --> 01:19:02.780 and no one has been noticing you being love bomb feels so great. 1788 01:19:03.340 --> 01:19:03.980 It does. 1789 01:19:03.980 --> 01:19:05.620 It feels like, oh, you're so beautiful. 1790 01:19:05.660 --> 01:19:07.220 Oh, I can't stop thinking about you. 1791 01:19:07.300 --> 01:19:08.420 Oh, I can't wait to see you. 1792 01:19:08.820 --> 01:19:10.220 Oh, I think I'm falling in love with you. 1793 01:19:10.220 --> 01:19:13.620 You're like, yeah, but you guys, it's not real. 1794 01:19:14.140 --> 01:19:15.180 It's not real. 1795 01:19:15.180 --> 01:19:16.580 And it's not sustainable. 1796 01:19:18.140 --> 01:19:18.420 Right. 1797 01:19:18.420 --> 01:19:21.340 Christina says it feels good until it doesn't exactly. 1798 01:19:21.340 --> 01:19:24.700 Cause it always is connected to someone who's super unhealthy. 1799 01:19:26.620 --> 01:19:27.060 Yeah. 1800 01:19:27.220 --> 01:19:27.660 Yep. 1801 01:19:27.980 --> 01:19:29.100 Found that out the hard way. 1802 01:19:29.180 --> 01:19:33.780 Um, yeah, so just cause he's not a planner and it takes him, you know, 1803 01:19:33.780 --> 01:19:34.740 he's being intentional. 1804 01:19:34.740 --> 01:19:36.380 He's letting you know, he's had a good time. 1805 01:19:36.380 --> 01:19:40.820 He wants to be with you more, you know, just, you know, get, give the guy a 1806 01:19:40.820 --> 01:19:44.180 break, let him, let him build up to it. 1807 01:19:44.660 --> 01:19:46.740 You know, you don't want, this is what you want. 1808 01:19:46.740 --> 01:19:51.220 You want to study Eddie, someone who's continuing to, you know, be consistent, 1809 01:19:51.220 --> 01:19:54.940 even if he's not such a great planner and waste the last minute, two days before 1810 01:19:55.100 --> 01:19:58.020 y'all two days for, before, for me is early. 1811 01:19:58.260 --> 01:19:58.780 Okay. 1812 01:19:58.860 --> 01:19:59.980 I don't know what I'm doing. 1813 01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:01.880 five minutes before a lot of times. 1814 01:20:01.880 --> 01:20:04.800 So it's personalities, different strokes for different folks, 1815 01:20:04.800 --> 01:20:09.000 but give them a chance to really fall in love with you. 1816 01:20:09.000 --> 01:20:10.960 And then let's see how he acts. 1817 01:20:10.960 --> 01:20:11.800 Mm-hmm. 1818 01:20:11.800 --> 01:20:12.960 Okay. 1819 01:20:12.960 --> 01:20:15.760 So, so some things that concern me on the date. 1820 01:20:16.800 --> 01:20:21.280 So there was a woman who was dressed very provocatively, 1821 01:20:21.280 --> 01:20:23.120 like sitting outside. 1822 01:20:23.120 --> 01:20:24.940 Yeah, like very provocatively. 1823 01:20:24.940 --> 01:20:28.440 And she was taking selfies of herself 1824 01:20:28.480 --> 01:20:30.880 and he started like criticizing her. 1825 01:20:30.880 --> 01:20:33.540 And I don't remember what he said exactly 1826 01:20:33.540 --> 01:20:36.620 because I was just so shocked that he was saying that to me. 1827 01:20:36.620 --> 01:20:41.620 And he, and then he like remarked that she was going, 1828 01:20:42.560 --> 01:20:45.720 she was gonna go home with somebody to, 1829 01:20:45.720 --> 01:20:48.440 and then he used like a profane word. 1830 01:20:48.440 --> 01:20:50.320 And I was like, I was just like in shock. 1831 01:20:50.320 --> 01:20:51.920 And he's like, oh, I'm so sorry I said that, 1832 01:20:51.920 --> 01:20:53.780 but it's the truth. 1833 01:20:53.780 --> 01:20:57.380 And I'm like, I don't know. 1834 01:20:57.380 --> 01:20:59.220 I just, it made me feel uncomfortable. 1835 01:20:59.220 --> 01:21:02.020 I probably should have said more about it, but I didn't. 1836 01:21:03.060 --> 01:21:04.740 And then, just something. 1837 01:21:04.740 --> 01:21:07.500 No, okay, so he, so a woman was dressed provocatively 1838 01:21:07.500 --> 01:21:10.260 and she was taking selfies of herself and he said what? 1839 01:21:12.620 --> 01:21:15.460 He said that she's looking for one thing. 1840 01:21:15.460 --> 01:21:18.320 She's looking to go home with somebody and like, 1841 01:21:20.100 --> 01:21:23.960 you know, he used an explicit word. 1842 01:21:25.260 --> 01:21:26.940 Oh. 1843 01:21:27.460 --> 01:21:30.700 Yeah, and then he's like, oh, I'm sorry I said that. 1844 01:21:30.700 --> 01:21:31.540 And I just kind of- 1845 01:21:31.540 --> 01:21:36.420 So it sounds like he has a trigger in that area 1846 01:21:36.420 --> 01:21:38.280 because, you know, we've all seen people 1847 01:21:38.280 --> 01:21:39.980 that are up to no good or doing things 1848 01:21:39.980 --> 01:21:42.180 that are not worthy of them and all that stuff, 1849 01:21:42.180 --> 01:21:44.980 but we don't always comment on it, right? 1850 01:21:44.980 --> 01:21:47.360 We don't always, you know, a lot of times 1851 01:21:47.360 --> 01:21:50.220 we might even feel compassion or pity for that person, 1852 01:21:50.220 --> 01:21:53.420 but he felt kind of angry towards it. 1853 01:21:53.420 --> 01:21:54.860 That's definitely interesting. 1854 01:21:54.860 --> 01:21:57.180 I don't know if he's ever had anyone cheat on him before 1855 01:21:57.180 --> 01:21:59.180 or anyone that he was involved with, 1856 01:21:59.180 --> 01:22:03.140 even a parent that, you know, cheated or was, you know, 1857 01:22:04.420 --> 01:22:07.800 promiscuous because it sounds like he does have a trigger 1858 01:22:07.800 --> 01:22:09.380 somehow in that area. 1859 01:22:09.380 --> 01:22:12.740 I'm not saying where he's coming from, but sounds like it. 1860 01:22:12.740 --> 01:22:14.980 Yeah, I don't know if that's the case 1861 01:22:14.980 --> 01:22:16.980 because he has like a pretty clean slate. 1862 01:22:16.980 --> 01:22:18.540 What about religious? 1863 01:22:18.540 --> 01:22:20.100 Is he religious? 1864 01:22:20.100 --> 01:22:21.500 Okay, well, there you go. 1865 01:22:21.500 --> 01:22:22.740 A little bit, yeah. 1866 01:22:25.500 --> 01:22:28.220 Okay, so, and then he started, 1867 01:22:28.220 --> 01:22:30.780 I guess he's been reading about like toxic masculinity 1868 01:22:30.780 --> 01:22:34.480 and all that and like divine femininity. 1869 01:22:34.480 --> 01:22:38.340 And he was like telling me about how women 1870 01:22:38.340 --> 01:22:42.780 always like test men and that a man's job 1871 01:22:42.780 --> 01:22:44.800 is not to cave to a woman. 1872 01:22:46.060 --> 01:22:47.500 And he's like, they will test you. 1873 01:22:47.500 --> 01:22:49.820 And I'm like, okay, well, I don't do that. 1874 01:22:49.820 --> 01:22:54.820 But I feel like he withholds from me 1875 01:22:55.060 --> 01:23:00.060 in a way just to like proactively not test, like, you know. 1876 01:23:04.300 --> 01:23:06.600 Well, once again, you guys are just getting 1877 01:23:06.600 --> 01:23:09.460 to know each other, only time will tell. 1878 01:23:09.460 --> 01:23:12.580 I mean, this is such a very new relationship, 1879 01:23:12.580 --> 01:23:15.480 you know, just new connection, not even relationship. 1880 01:23:15.480 --> 01:23:17.540 And so these are things where, friends, 1881 01:23:17.540 --> 01:23:19.100 don't judge people prematurely. 1882 01:23:19.100 --> 01:23:21.500 I see a lot of you are trying to say, you know, 1883 01:23:21.500 --> 01:23:26.500 to who was on earlier, Andrea, that, you know, 1884 01:23:26.980 --> 01:23:29.060 that it felt like that guy was gaslighting. 1885 01:23:29.060 --> 01:23:32.980 I don't think that was gaslighting and I'm the coach. 1886 01:23:32.980 --> 01:23:35.740 So, but a lot of you have heart wounds 1887 01:23:35.740 --> 01:23:37.180 in the areas of those things. 1888 01:23:37.180 --> 01:23:39.220 And so you're gonna automatically jump to that. 1889 01:23:39.220 --> 01:23:41.380 Now, if, remember, that's why I asked her, 1890 01:23:41.380 --> 01:23:43.380 what do you like about him? 1891 01:23:43.380 --> 01:23:45.340 And the reason why is because a lot of times, 1892 01:23:45.340 --> 01:23:46.660 and this is where we have to be careful 1893 01:23:46.660 --> 01:23:48.340 when we're asking for coaching 1894 01:23:48.340 --> 01:23:50.760 or even asking for advice from a friend, 1895 01:23:50.760 --> 01:23:52.240 because of our own heart wounds, 1896 01:23:52.240 --> 01:23:54.200 we will exaggerate a situation. 1897 01:23:54.200 --> 01:23:57.080 Then of course, everyone's gonna be scream abuse then. 1898 01:23:57.080 --> 01:23:58.600 Everyone's gonna say, oh yeah, get out. 1899 01:23:58.600 --> 01:23:59.720 Ooh, that's gaslighting. 1900 01:23:59.720 --> 01:24:00.760 Oh, that's narcissism. 1901 01:24:00.760 --> 01:24:02.400 That sounds like a narcissist to me. 1902 01:24:02.400 --> 01:24:04.680 When you're exaggerating the situation 1903 01:24:04.680 --> 01:24:07.760 because you're triggered. 1904 01:24:07.760 --> 01:24:09.420 You're triggered by what they did 1905 01:24:09.420 --> 01:24:12.000 because of your own unhealed heart stuff. 1906 01:24:12.000 --> 01:24:14.480 I call it poking each other's heart wounds. 1907 01:24:14.480 --> 01:24:16.300 You're poking each other's heart wounds. 1908 01:24:16.300 --> 01:24:17.920 When they're not actually a bad person, 1909 01:24:17.920 --> 01:24:19.680 you guys just poked each other 1910 01:24:19.680 --> 01:24:21.760 and you guys got some stuff that came out of it 1911 01:24:21.760 --> 01:24:23.240 that was not great. 1912 01:24:23.240 --> 01:24:26.080 But that other person that you're asking for advice 1913 01:24:26.080 --> 01:24:28.040 or a coach that you're asking to give feedback, 1914 01:24:28.040 --> 01:24:29.320 they weren't there. 1915 01:24:29.320 --> 01:24:33.000 And so when we show up and we're having a level 10 response 1916 01:24:33.000 --> 01:24:34.840 to a level two situation, 1917 01:24:34.840 --> 01:24:37.280 people have a tendency to escalate with us. 1918 01:24:37.280 --> 01:24:38.800 But you guys, I've coached a lot of people, 1919 01:24:38.800 --> 01:24:40.240 so I know not to. 1920 01:24:40.240 --> 01:24:42.880 And that's why I ask supporting questions 1921 01:24:42.880 --> 01:24:44.740 that really get the bigger picture. 1922 01:24:45.920 --> 01:24:47.320 Now, if she couldn't think of anything 1923 01:24:47.320 --> 01:24:48.640 that she liked about him, 1924 01:24:49.240 --> 01:24:50.760 you know, she's like, he's a good guy. 1925 01:24:50.760 --> 01:24:51.680 He's a good dad. 1926 01:24:51.680 --> 01:24:53.160 He loves his children well. 1927 01:24:53.160 --> 01:24:54.520 He's sweet to my daughter. 1928 01:24:54.520 --> 01:24:55.760 He takes good care of people. 1929 01:24:55.760 --> 01:24:56.960 He loves people well. 1930 01:24:56.960 --> 01:24:58.720 Guys, those are all green flags. 1931 01:24:59.680 --> 01:25:00.520 Now. 1932 01:25:00.640 --> 01:25:04.960 Once again, if it, if it ends up that as she, you know, 1933 01:25:05.560 --> 01:25:10.240 gets to know him better and she sees more cracks in the 1934 01:25:10.240 --> 01:25:12.720 foundation, because you guys, people can't hide. They're crazy. 1935 01:25:13.320 --> 01:25:16.600 Eventually it does come to the surface. It really does. 1936 01:25:16.800 --> 01:25:19.960 And as long as we are not putting on blind spots and filters, 1937 01:25:19.960 --> 01:25:22.560 because we just want to make it work, then we're going to see it. 1938 01:25:24.320 --> 01:25:26.560 We are God defended and God will show us, 1939 01:25:26.920 --> 01:25:31.920 but we also don't want to cut and run just because people are in process and we 1940 01:25:32.240 --> 01:25:35.680 can't handle people in process because we're looking for perfection because we 1941 01:25:35.680 --> 01:25:37.200 have too many unhealed heart wounds. 1942 01:25:38.760 --> 01:25:42.280 And so we want to cut and run every time we see someone's yellow flags, 1943 01:25:43.800 --> 01:25:46.000 because we want to escalate them to red. Do you guys see that? 1944 01:25:48.240 --> 01:25:52.600 I've had several different situations just recently where that has happened. 1945 01:25:53.160 --> 01:25:55.760 People poking each other's heart wounds, 1946 01:25:56.960 --> 01:26:01.280 people misunderstanding each other just had a situation where, you know, 1947 01:26:01.280 --> 01:26:05.280 two people that met, they got together, 1948 01:26:05.560 --> 01:26:09.280 they had a conversation over, over technology. 1949 01:26:09.920 --> 01:26:14.600 And the guy said one thing that triggered the girl. 1950 01:26:15.160 --> 01:26:19.160 And then she completely had a response 1951 01:26:19.680 --> 01:26:21.440 that was level 10. 1952 01:26:23.360 --> 01:26:28.360 And it was full of all kinds of preconceived ideas based on one little thing. 1953 01:26:30.720 --> 01:26:33.920 And then when I talked to both of them separately, I could definitely see, 1954 01:26:33.920 --> 01:26:36.960 I could piece the puzzle pieces together and see that these people were poking 1955 01:26:36.960 --> 01:26:37.800 each other's heart wounds. 1956 01:26:39.360 --> 01:26:43.400 This woman had her guard up for certain triggers. And when they happened, 1957 01:26:45.640 --> 01:26:47.560 she was, she completely shut down. 1958 01:26:49.200 --> 01:26:53.400 And this guy didn't even know what he did because he was trying to do something 1959 01:26:53.420 --> 01:26:54.640 completely different. And so you guys, 1960 01:26:54.640 --> 01:26:58.600 they were at opposite ends of the spectrum trying to pull something out of each 1961 01:26:58.600 --> 01:26:59.200 other. 1962 01:26:59.200 --> 01:27:03.120 And what happened instead is that they completely misunderstood each other. 1963 01:27:03.520 --> 01:27:07.080 And then there was an impasse. Do you guys know how often this happens? 1964 01:27:09.280 --> 01:27:13.400 And the reason why is because you're not showing up as a fat little newborn baby 1965 01:27:13.440 --> 01:27:17.320 into these dating relationships, right? 1966 01:27:17.440 --> 01:27:21.560 You're showing up with all of your baggage. 1967 01:27:22.640 --> 01:27:24.800 And that's why we do part work in phase one. 1968 01:27:24.800 --> 01:27:27.560 So we can try to diffuse some of these bombs before they go off. 1969 01:27:28.640 --> 01:27:31.360 Now there are going to be things that you just can't get past and you just can't 1970 01:27:31.360 --> 01:27:32.280 get over right now. 1971 01:27:32.280 --> 01:27:36.080 And you are not going to be able to partner with someone who pokes those wounds. 1972 01:27:36.640 --> 01:27:39.520 You're not going to be able to see past it. And that's fine. 1973 01:27:39.800 --> 01:27:42.440 I don't believe you can miss out on your spirit mate if you're really 1974 01:27:42.440 --> 01:27:44.800 surrendering to healing, but you just aren't there yet. 1975 01:27:44.840 --> 01:27:47.000 And some people just bring out the worst in each other. 1976 01:27:47.040 --> 01:27:48.400 Neither one of them are bad people, 1977 01:27:48.400 --> 01:27:51.000 but they bring out the worst in each other because they don't have 1978 01:27:51.000 --> 01:27:52.560 complimentary heart wounds. 1979 01:27:52.560 --> 01:27:55.480 They have heart wounds that are going to antagonize each other. 1980 01:27:56.960 --> 01:28:00.920 I call it poking each other's orphan, poking each other's orphan. 1981 01:28:02.400 --> 01:28:03.000 Okay. 1982 01:28:03.000 --> 01:28:07.480 So I want to say that because a lot of you will jump to immediately to terms 1983 01:28:07.480 --> 01:28:10.800 like gaslighting and narcissism. You know, 1984 01:28:10.800 --> 01:28:13.080 I'm so glad that we've learned these words. 1985 01:28:13.200 --> 01:28:18.200 But let's also learn some other words like personal accountability for your own 1986 01:28:18.200 --> 01:28:20.520 heart work. Okay. 1987 01:28:21.720 --> 01:28:25.120 Now, none of you guys jumped in the love seat and don't think I didn't notice 1988 01:28:25.120 --> 01:28:28.560 that. In fact, Bob, who's new here, thinks that we're having a girl chat, 1989 01:28:31.120 --> 01:28:34.880 but we're not Bob. All this stuff pertains to men as well. 1990 01:28:34.920 --> 01:28:39.240 And you can apply all of this advice to yourself. Okay. 1991 01:28:39.320 --> 01:28:41.160 It's not a girl chat. It's not a guy chat. 1992 01:28:41.800 --> 01:28:43.320 Okay. It's not a girl chat. 1993 01:28:44.360 --> 01:28:49.360 But none of you guys wanted to get into the love seat and I don't know why. 1994 01:28:50.160 --> 01:28:54.360 So Bob's learning a lot. Thanks, Bob. I'm just, I'm picking on you, 1995 01:28:54.360 --> 01:28:55.480 but I'm not really picking on you. 1996 01:29:00.000 --> 01:29:02.240 Friends, I'm going to take single spotlights to the app. 1997 01:29:02.240 --> 01:29:05.080 So if you're in phase three and you have not joined the app yet, 1998 01:29:05.080 --> 01:29:07.280 please do that. If you're like, I don't know how to join the app, 1999 01:29:07.520 --> 01:29:11.320 email us at admin, Jackie at admin at Jackie Dorman.com. 2000 01:29:11.560 --> 01:29:14.200 So we can get you on the app. If you're in phase two, 2001 01:29:14.200 --> 01:29:17.360 when you graduate to phase three, you will also be on the app. 2002 01:29:18.400 --> 01:29:22.120 And the reason why this is important is because ask Jackie is going to happen 2003 01:29:22.120 --> 01:29:26.000 inside the app now and the replay, excuse me, and the replay will be there. 2004 01:29:26.360 --> 01:29:30.840 And then also I'm going to be single spotlighting eligible men to you in the 2005 01:29:30.840 --> 01:29:33.960 app, right? And then you can, 2006 01:29:34.320 --> 01:29:38.840 you can let us know whether or not they are guys that you, you know, 2007 01:29:38.920 --> 01:29:42.600 that you fit the criteria of a match for them and whether or not you would want 2008 01:29:42.600 --> 01:29:46.920 to meet them. And then three, our matchmaking platform, the, 2009 01:29:47.160 --> 01:29:48.720 the community level of that, 2010 01:29:48.720 --> 01:29:52.360 the dating base is going to be available very soon. 2011 01:29:52.360 --> 01:29:56.840 And you guys will be filling out a pretty lengthy questionnaire about yourself 2012 01:29:57.120 --> 01:29:59.960 for the purpose of the computer algorithm to match. 2013 01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:05.340 you within the dating base. All right. And so that is something that we have been working 2014 01:30:05.340 --> 01:30:10.720 on and we're going to have that level of that done. And then sometime, probably towards 2015 01:30:10.720 --> 01:30:16.060 the end of August, early September, we'll have the whole spirit mate match site done. 2016 01:30:16.060 --> 01:30:21.340 And that spirit mate match site is going to be great. And I'm excited about that. All 2017 01:30:21.340 --> 01:30:25.380 right. Um, no, Mike, I wasn't saying that you were saying the gaslighting. I'm just 2018 01:30:25.380 --> 01:30:28.900 like, we are very, we're very quick, especially people that have been through a lot of abuse 2019 01:30:28.900 --> 01:30:34.140 to jump to, Hey, this is abusive, but just because you don't like it doesn't mean it's 2020 01:30:34.140 --> 01:30:40.420 abusive. And a lot of times we're actually part of the problem when these things happen 2021 01:30:40.420 --> 01:30:44.940 in these new connections. And so it's important that we take accountability for that and we 2022 01:30:44.940 --> 01:30:53.180 see how we might be triggering each other. Cool. All right. Okay. So let's see, is there 2023 01:30:53.180 --> 01:30:58.900 anything else that we need to talk about? I'm going to be spotlighting singles gentlemen. 2024 01:30:58.900 --> 01:31:03.540 I will also be spotlighting ladies to you in the app. Sorry. I forgot to tell you that. 2025 01:31:03.540 --> 01:31:07.020 And so that will be happening as well, especially for you guys that have been asking for certain 2026 01:31:07.020 --> 01:31:12.860 types of matches. And we have lots of private clients right now in this season, you guys. 2027 01:31:12.860 --> 01:31:18.940 So just because you don't see people here does not mean that we do not have more people 2028 01:31:19.020 --> 01:31:23.500 that are working with us to find their spirit mates because there's a whole lot of people. 2029 01:31:23.500 --> 01:31:27.340 All right. So we're right about at 90 minutes. This has been super fun. I will go ahead and 2030 01:31:27.340 --> 01:31:31.580 answer the ask Jackie questions in the app. Don't forget about the toucans and you guys 2031 01:31:31.580 --> 01:31:36.540 don't forget about this miracle of this Opal being returned and restored. If you have something 2032 01:31:36.540 --> 01:31:41.260 that has been lost and you've never been able to find it, go ahead and raise your hand right now. 2033 01:31:41.420 --> 01:31:48.700 It might be something tangible material possession. It could be something else that 2034 01:31:48.700 --> 01:31:54.140 you think qualifies for this. And so Lord, I just thank you right now, the same way that you 2035 01:31:54.140 --> 01:31:59.580 returned this and you've returned other things to me in the past as well, that it seemed impossible 2036 01:31:59.580 --> 01:32:04.620 for those things to ever be found. We just release that right now that angels are on a 2037 01:32:05.580 --> 01:32:13.660 assignment to go into, find these lost things and return them to their rightful owners, 2038 01:32:14.380 --> 01:32:17.820 to their rightful owners. And I just see heavens lost and found right now. 2039 01:32:17.820 --> 01:32:20.940 And there are things that some of you didn't even raise your hand, or maybe you raised your 2040 01:32:20.940 --> 01:32:25.180 hand for something else, but I hear Holy spirit saying that there are things in heavens lost and 2041 01:32:25.180 --> 01:32:29.580 found that have been lost. And you don't even know that they've been lost. There's a lot of 2042 01:32:30.460 --> 01:32:33.820 and found that have been lost. And you don't even know that they've been lost. 2043 01:32:34.380 --> 01:32:39.020 There's different gifts and talents and mantles or different opportunities and open doors and 2044 01:32:39.020 --> 01:32:44.060 keys of authority that you don't even know have been lost. Not even maybe in your generation, 2045 01:32:44.060 --> 01:32:48.300 but in the generations of your family line that came before you and they, and they, 2046 01:32:48.300 --> 01:32:52.460 they hold with them material possessions. There have been houses and lands. There's 2047 01:32:52.460 --> 01:32:56.860 been all kinds of different things like that website that the government puts out that, 2048 01:32:56.860 --> 01:33:01.660 Hey, we owe you money. If this is you, you know, you have lost money and here it is. 2049 01:33:01.660 --> 01:33:06.940 I just declare right now that whatever belongs to your sons and daughters is returned from the 2050 01:33:06.940 --> 01:33:12.300 north, south, east, and west angels on assignment, bringing it back to them, whether it's land, 2051 01:33:12.300 --> 01:33:20.300 deeds, titles, money, inheritance, opportunities, gifts, callings, mantles, 2052 01:33:21.260 --> 01:33:26.940 people that have been lost. Someone has a lost loved one. You haven't heard from in a long time. 2053 01:33:26.940 --> 01:33:30.700 You have no idea where they are. They've been lost for a long time. You've wondered if you're 2054 01:33:30.700 --> 01:33:35.660 ever going to hear from them again, father, we thank you that the loss will be found in Jesus 2055 01:33:35.660 --> 01:33:43.580 name. Amen. Lost pet. Someone lost a cat. Lord, we thank you for closure in these situations. 2056 01:33:43.660 --> 01:33:53.260 We thank you, Lord, that you restore you restore in Jesus name. Amen. Right. We'll see you guys 2057 01:33:53.260 --> 01:33:57.980 soon. Get on the app. If you're not there, if you're a level two, you're not quite there yet, 2058 01:33:57.980 --> 01:34:00.220 but you're almost there and we'll see you there soon. Bye.