WEBVTT

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Hello, welcome, welcome. Hi everyone. Welcome to our heart check in. I am going to ask if you have a zoom user any kind of generic thing on your name.

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If you'll click on the three like your computer name. If you'll click on the three dots. Like if you hover over your picture and just at least put your first name and last initial just so I know who you are.

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That way I can call you by name. That will be super helpful.

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All right. Welcome. Who's here. Is anyone joining me joining us for the first time tonight. You've never been on a live session ever. Okay, awesome. Becca. Hi, Michelle. Hello. Anyone else you can put it in the chat to if that's easier. Oh, okay.

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It's even better. I'm trying to figure out. I think I signed in wrong zoom

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Right event. So if you just like when you hover over your picture. If you click on the three dots, it'll say rename

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And then I've been any name you want for this and you can select you just want it to change the name for this one time or every time you log in there so you can just pick one time.

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Perfect. Yeah, I have no idea which one I

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Different emails. Thank you.

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All right. You're welcome. All right. Well, welcome, everyone. Those joining us for the first time, as well as those coming back. Some of us.

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Some of our ladies are in phase two and come back for more hard work on occasion. So we're glad that you're here and that you are placing yourself in a position to receive what God has for you tonight.

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When I encourage you all to really lean in tonight to what the Holy Spirit wants to say to you.

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And I was just kind of pausing and praying for a few minutes before we hopped on and I just felt really led to pray something I haven't prayed in a long time, specifically, is that

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God, no matter what I say, by the time it reaches their heart. Let it be exactly what they need to hear.

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You know, and just that reminder to humble myself humble ourselves, you know, in God's presence and just really lean into what he's trying to say to you specifically tonight.

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Also, just my other housekeeping. I don't have a lot tonight is just for you all to share your wins. Keep sharing your wins and I will keep encouraging you all to do this on your journey.

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Because what can happen in our heartwork season is we can see all the things that still need healing and it can really become overwhelming at times.

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And especially for people that have a and when I said propensity. It's like you don't mean to do it. It's just you are tend to be harder on yourself.

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You might be someone who will get caught down in the depression feelings, if you will.

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Having to visit heartwork in certain areas again or even heartwork in general. Some of you might be feeling that fight or flight. Like, I don't know if I really want to do this. Why did I sign up for this.

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All that kind of stuff. It's super important to celebrate your wins along the way and focus more on those than on the hard parts of doing heartwork.

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And it's not that you ignore the reality because at times it is hard. Right. But when we focus on what is hard. It's hard. It's actually harder for us to see the progress that we're making

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And I know that some of you are seeing the wins, but the enemy has really been trying to get some of you all trapped in oppression.

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And depression and all of that kind of stuff. So I want to pray specifically as we kind of start tonight over that for a little bit. Not a lot, but I just felt led just even just now as I'm talking about it.

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I'm that the Holy Spirit would just come and lift that off of you. Those of you that are feeling a little bit of that way.

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And yes, I mean headaches, all kinds of stuff. Y'all are going to experience all different kinds of stuff. If you're getting a lot of headaches. I will encourage you to drink a lot of water.

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Epsom salt baths. I know I'm not giving you medical advice. I'm just telling you, sometimes there's natural remedies to help your body process toxins out

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Okay, and Epsom salts baths. That's a good way. And you can even put your feet in that you don't even have to get in the whole bath. Do you all know that

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So just that's a way to get toxins out and your feet are huge receptors for good things. Okay, so you have a lot of pressure points, a lot of places even essential oils can be really cleansing and healing and very natural. Okay.

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So I want to encourage y'all keep leaning in celebrate your wins and your victories along the way. And I want to encourage you, for those of you. I see so many lovely faces on screen tonight without me even asking. I'm so excited about that.

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If you're able to turn your screen on so that we can see you and you don't have it on yet would love to see your faces.

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Here's why. And I'm going to, you're going to get sick of hearing me say this, but it's good for you.

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So in this season, you are coming out of hiding. You're coming out of all the ways that you may be at times, especially in the season of COVID where we kind of got up, you know,

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behind screens all the time.

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And then we would just show up

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and not turn our screens on, right?

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But this also can translate into ways

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that we're not showing up as our full selves in the world.

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Like literally when we go out and about,

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we don't, we've turned into a society.

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We don't want people to talk to us, myself included.

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Y'all, I used to like go to my neighbor's houses

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and talk to people.

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And over the years, the world has caused us to what?

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Isolate, withdraw, not engage.

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And I believe in this season,

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God is actually telling us to go forth, isn't he?

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He's telling us to come out of hiding and to go forth,

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to tell the good news and all of that stuff.

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And we can do that if we aren't hiding, okay?

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And that also is gonna include the stuff

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that's gonna happen with your spirit mate in the future.

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So we'll talk to y'all more about that in phase two,

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but if you practice now, it is gonna help you later on.

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So I wanna encourage you that.

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I'm gonna go ahead and pray and we're gonna get started.

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Father, thank you so much for God this night.

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Thank you so much for every woman that is here,

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those that will watch the replay.

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God, we know that you are mighty, that you are powerful,

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that you're the creator of heaven and earth

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and nothing is too hard for you.

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I thank you that when the enemy comes in

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and causes doubt and unbelief or fear,

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we thank you that you cause him to flee seven ways

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that we don't have to be afraid of him,

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that your perfect love is what cast out all fear.

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So Lord, I thank you that you would help us

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to experience your perfect love in a fresh way tonight,

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that we would hear what your spirit is saying to us

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louder than any voice of the enemy.

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And we just ask you, Father Jesus Christ,

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by the power of your blood that you would break

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every shackle, every spirit of oppression,

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every spirit of depression, panic, worry,

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fear, dread disorders, we just thank you in Jesus name

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that you would release a spirit of freedom, of liberty,

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of a sound mind, of love and abundance

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in every area of our lives.

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And we just thank you that we would receive everything

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that you have for us tonight, Lord,

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that you would bring everything out of darkness

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into the light so that we can step further into the freedom

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that you've already, Jesus died to give us.

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Holy Spirit, we thank you that you're here.

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We invite you to come in.

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We've in and out of our conversations,

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out of the teaching parts, out of just the breakouts,

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out of the group shares and make your mark tonight

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on our hearts and our minds and our spirits.

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We thank you, Holy Spirit, that you're our comforter,

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you're our counselor, you're our guide,

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you're our ever present help in time of need.

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We can rely on you and I thank you

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for your presence in our lives.

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In Jesus name, amen.

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Y'all, God is so good.

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He's three in one, God, the Father, Jesus Christ

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and the Holy Spirit, and he's always working

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to lead us into greater revelation.

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So I hope that is what happens in your heart tonight.

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We're gonna talk about two different things tonight.

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I wanna kind of preface it in advance

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because both are massively important to your freedom,

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to your breakthrough.

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Tonight, we're gonna talk about God knows the why

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behind the what, and we're gonna talk about forgiveness

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and forgiveness in regards to men specifically tonight.

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And so that's where we're going.

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So I hope that you'll track with us the whole way

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because God has something for you in store.

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When I say God knows the why behind the what,

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obviously y'all, for those of you, I should say,

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that are at this point in the coursework,

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you've heard Jackie already talking about that.

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If you're not there yet, you will hear more about this.

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But the point is that every single one of us makes mistakes

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and most of us, how many have ever sinned?

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How many have ever made a mistake in your life?

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Yes, we all have, right?

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We all fall short of the glory of God.

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We all make mistakes, we've all sinned.

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Praise God for forgiveness and healing and redemption

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for all of us, right?

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But sometimes we don't even know why we do what we do.

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Paul talks about it in the word.

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He also said, I wanna do this over here,

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but I keep doing the things that I don't wanna do.

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And Jackie talked about this several weeks ago.

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You can catch it in some of the replays

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in Supernatural Saturday,

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but there's this war between our spirit man

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and our flesh man.

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The flesh is made up of our what?

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Our soul.

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That's our mind, our will, and our emotions.

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Y'all know that our emotions can lead us astray

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every single day.

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We want you to feel the feels

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so that God can heal the feels,

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but we don't want you to let your feelings

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lead you down a path that is not meant for you, okay?

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Your feelings are fickle, aren't they?

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Sometimes your feelings are gonna just lead you

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way off track if you let them.

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So tonight, I wanna encourage you

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that as we talk about some of these concepts,

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some of y'all are gonna feel anger,

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you're gonna feel sadness,

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you're gonna feel aggravation.

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There might be all kinds of stuff.

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Feel that stuff, but stay.

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They kind of tuned into what we're talking about.

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You can even journal, journal and write,

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hey, this came up when she was talking about this.

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And that's how you're gonna start to recognize

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what the Holy Spirit is highlighting to you.

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Okay, out of what we're talking about.

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We don't always know why we do what we do,

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but the Holy Spirit does.

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This is why we encourage you all

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over and over and over again.

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Ask the Lord, ask the Lord, ask the Lord,

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what is the root?

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What is the first time that you ever experienced

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this emotion or this feeling?

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When's the first time you ever struggled

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with this area of sin?

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You know, we're gonna always lead you back

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to the Father and Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit

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because they are the ones that have the answers

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that you need.

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We can, as coaches, ask for discernment and wisdom

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that ultimately God is your source.

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And so we ask the Holy Spirit to reveal things for healing.

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That's how that whole process comes into play.

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But I wanna ask you tonight,

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have you ever paused and asked yourself

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and asked the Lord to reveal why you do what you do?

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And what I mean by that is what are the cycles

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and areas that you tend to struggle on a regular basis?

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I'm gonna start reading some examples and some things,

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some areas that I believe at times we've all struggled,

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but I want you to consider these things.

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And again, if anything is highlighted to you

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where you start to feel kind of anything rising up in you,

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I want you to jot that down

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so you remember to go back to that with the Lord later,

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or that could come up in our conversation

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in breakouts or with group.

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Why do you get so angry?

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Maybe in traffic, maybe with your kids,

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short temper, your kid just really ticks you off,

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zero to 180.

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Maybe it's your sister that's in that place

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and not your kids.

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Maybe it's your mom.

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I don't know who it is, but why traffic is a big one.

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A lot of people cutting people off,

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road rage all the time.

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It's on an all time high, you all.

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I saw it the other day,

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people just chasing each other down the road,

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back and forth.

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Because somewhere along the way, someone ticks someone off.

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But we live our lives like that, but why?

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Why do we get so angry?

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Why do we struggle with authority?

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Why do we revert to thoughts like marriage

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just maybe isn't for me?

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Or maybe I'm just better off with just my friends

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or my pets or just being single.

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And everybody tells me

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that I should just be happy being single.

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But I don't really believe that.

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But when something happens and there's pressure applied,

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my go-to says in me,

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I'm just better off without those things.

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When things aren't going well, what are the lies?

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What are the things that are surfacing?

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What are the go-tos for you

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where you maybe do go into sin?

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Is it overeating?

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Is it drinking?

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Is it trying to hook up with a guy?

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Is it pornography?

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Is it gossiping?

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What is it?

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What do we turn to when the pressure gets applied?

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What are our trigger points?

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Why do we tend to lean towards negative mindsets

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and verbiage and things and stories that we tell ourself?

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Where did these stories begin?

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We talked about that last week.

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Instead of accepting every thought that we have as our own,

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like just really, again, pausing

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and where did this begin, Lord?

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Was this actually my thought?

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Or did I learn this from someone in my life?

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Why do we do the things that harm us?

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I referenced a couple of the things that we tend to do.

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Maybe in the moment we think and tell ourselves,

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well, this is gonna help me feel better.

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Not just a glass of wine.

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Y'all, I'm not against somebody having a glass of wine.

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So I don't want anyone to misunderstand.

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But there are times where even in my own life,

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I had to pause and ask myself,

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and this was more in high school.

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When I first gave my life to the Lord,

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I was more rule following.

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And the church I went to, they said, you don't drink.

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And so I didn't for a very, very long time,

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never had another drink.

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And then I felt like the Lord took me through a season

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of learning to not just follow rules,

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but to better understand why I was choosing

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what I was choosing.

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And along that journey, the Lord just started talking to me

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and it wasn't that I over drank or that I got crazy

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and partied all again and lost my salvation.

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None of that happened.

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But what I noticed was that when I would get sad

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and have a glass of wine, I would feel better.

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feel way more sad. I would feel emotions and things enhanced.

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And I just started talking to the Lord about it, like, what's

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this about? And God just started showing me it's because, you

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know, all that's weakening our ability, our defenses, isn't it?

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And so the things that we try to press down and ignore, are going

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to surface more, right, in heart healing, or when we're doing

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things that actually might not be good for us. For me, that's

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not something I feel like God wants me to have a lot of in my

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life. Because my family, generationally, my dad was an

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alcoholic and a drug addict. And I have several other family

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members that have also ruined their lives due to drug

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addiction, alcoholism, and all of the things. And so I've

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always been very careful in that regard anyways. But I started

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seeing that sometimes it also like, I didn't always act on it,

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y'all. So that's not what I'm saying. But sometimes that

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desire to not feel anything was there. That's what I'm trying to

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kind of bring to the surface here. And so I think there's a

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lot of times where even with men and turning to men, and we want

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to feel less alone. And so we go hook up with someone. Y'all, I'm

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telling real truths. We have people that confess in heartwork

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in phase two and phase three. And I want to encourage you

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there's no shame. Okay, I'd rather you all tell us the

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honest truth of what you're struggling with, versus hiding

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and pretending in some way. Because guess what darkness and

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secrets create? What more darkness and more secrets and

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more shame and more guilt and condemnation. Y'all when we

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allow the Lord to bring things to the light, that is where true

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freedom and healing can happen. So I want to encourage you, you

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don't have to hide, you can be who you are. And that's how God

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is going to start the process of healing for you. But two more

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examples I want to give you. Why do we say things like, I've just

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always been this way. So they're just going to have to accept me

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the way that I am. Or it can sound like this is just the way

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that I am. I can't change. Y'all I hear this stuff all the time

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too. At all different ages. Why do we allow our hearts to become

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hard and position ourselves as if we can't change or believe

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the lie that nothing's ever going to change. I put in all

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this hard work, but nothing is changing. That is a lie from the

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pit of hell. Y'all are changing every single day. You guys may

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not see it as much as the coaches see it. But we see what

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God is doing in you. And it's glorious. And it's a beautiful

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even in the hard moments that y'all are pressing in and you're

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receiving from the Lord, and you're healing and you're

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growing. And sometimes that growth is really hard. But

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you're growing every single day and God is doing a work in your

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life. So I want to encourage you to not align with the truth

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that you're not making any progress and that nothing is

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changing. Even if y'all have done heart work and healing

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stuff before, and the enemy is coming to you, and he's telling

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you, yeah, nothing really changed after you did that. And

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he's trying to tell you that nothing is different this time,

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that you're going to do all this work, and you're still not going

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to get where you want to be. If that's the lie, the enemy is

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feeding you. I want to encourage you just to send him packing

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tonight because he is trying to take you off course. He's always

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you know, we really battle the enemy. He wants to kill, steal

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and destroy. And he wants to hinder God's promise in and plan

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for your life. And he doesn't want you to step into your

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family and marriage. So we have to resist the devil. And

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therefore that is how he flees from us. Okay. All right. James

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516 says, therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray

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for each other so that you might be healed. The prayer of a

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righteous man avails much. So God is trying to encourage you

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tonight that your prayers matter. We're going to, we did

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confession a couple of weeks ago, but I felt led by the Lord

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to do this again tonight, specifically in the areas I've

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been talking about. Okay. Why do you do what you do? What is

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the area that God is saying to you tonight that you need to

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confess about? I'm going to say a couple more things, then I'm

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going to get the breakout session. I just want you to be

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thinking about that. When we don't confess sins or the secret

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struggles or whatever is coming up for you all, here's what

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happens. We remain tethered to it. I'm going to talk more about

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this. When y'all come back after we do group coaching, what

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tether is, what it looks like, and what it creates, and how we can break it. Sins that we don't repent

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for or confess of can also create those blind spots, those filters that we've talked about

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before, and those are the things that are going to lead, just like myself in the past, that's what led

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me to choose unhealthy people. So that's going to be also what would lead us astray to pick unhealthy

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people in the futures if we don't allow God to remove the blind spots and filters that are created

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through the areas that we need to confess, forgive, all of the things. I'm going to read one other

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thing to you and then I'm going to send you into breakouts. I believe this is in chapter nine, you

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all. I'm not going to tell you the page because it's different for you all, but I want to read

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this because it's about secrets. I alluded to that already and it says this, secrets are dangerous

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because they are an infection that's trapped inside of those heart wounds of ours.

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Infection is easily treated when it's able to be let out of the body, but when it's trapped inside,

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it can cause life-threatening damage. Some of you all are stuck because there's an infection on the

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inside because you've been terrified to confess some of the secrets. And some of it, you all,

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it's not even, it doesn't even have to be these big secrets. Sometimes they're little secrets.

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Okay. Maybe you lied to somebody. Maybe you, maybe you had an affair. Maybe you had an abortion.

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You know, there, those are big, small, there are, there's all things in between you all,

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but the secrets create infection and infection is what causes you to not only be stuck, but will,

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it will cause stuff in your body to go wrong. It's going to cause things to be hindered when

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you're believing for the promise. We, we blame God a lot for the promises we don't receive,

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but sometimes it's because we haven't fully surrendered and stepped into forgiveness and

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healing and areas that we need to. Okay. All right. This is going to be really good. I encourage

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you all, keep your cameras on, engage with your sisters. I know it takes a lot of courage,

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but you can do it. God brought you here. Your story, what you share might actually help your

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sisters break free to remember. You don't have to help each other, help her hats go off. You

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just get to encourage each other, love each other, be short, brief, and powerful. Okay.

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It's going to be really good. Father, thank you. As they're getting ready to go into breakouts,

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thank you that you would just give them the courage to confess the things that you've

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already been putting on their hearts, that you would help them to know that you see them,

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that you love them unconditionally, that nothing can separate them from your love.

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And I thank you that they will step into it further tonight. There you all go.

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Praying for you all. Go ahead and click to join, click to join those groups.

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Anita, that's totally fine. If you can't go into breakout, you can stay here.

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All right. Let's see. Christina, do you see a thing to click to join there?

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Not yet. Did you just pop it? Oh, that's why. I just popped it. Okay. Yeah. Hold on one sec.

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Go ahead and click to join that.

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See who else I have. I think some other people, just their connections are a little delayed.

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All right. Father, just thank you so much for these amazing women. Thank you so much for

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sharing your story with us tonight. And I just want to say thank you so much to all of you

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for being here tonight. And I just want to say thank you so much to all of you for being here

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tonight. Father, just thank you so much for these amazing women. Thank you so much for

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continuing to work in their hearts, their minds, their bodies, their spirits, and their souls. We

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thank you for the courage to confess. We thank you that you would just come in the midst of their

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situations and the dynamics they've been walking through. We thank you for lifting heavy weights

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and burdens off of them tonight as they confess and turn to you. And Lord, for those that are

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watching this replay, I pray that you would show them someone that is safe for them to confess to

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with the things that you are revealing to them as well. We thank you that where you lead us,

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you don't leave us alone. God, you always take us by the hand. And I thank you that at the times

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that we can't walk, that you carry us and that you embrace us and you love us. We thank you,

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Jesus, that you came and you allowed your body to be broken, your blood to be shed for the

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forgiveness of our sins, for our healing, for our redemption, for our freedom, but also so that we

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could be in relationship with you as, excuse me, as you are in relationship with the Father. I

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thank you for intimacy and closeness that we can rely on you.

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that you came through for us all back then, even knowing the mistakes and the sins that we would

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commit. And I thank you, God, that you chose us. I thank you, Jesus, that you chose us. I thank

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you, Holy Spirit, that you chose to come so that we would have your help and assistance in every

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situation. We thank you that you would help us to guard our hearts and our minds through Christ

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Jesus, that we would take every thought captive and make it obedient to Jesus Christ, and that

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we would pass down every argument and every high and lofty thing that would exalt itself against

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the knowledge of who you are, God, in our lives. And we would say no more, that we would not

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continue to align ourselves with the patterns and the ways of the past, the habits that we've walked

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in, that we picked up from generations before us, that we would start to just continue to,

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just like a coach, shed that stuff off of ourselves and decide that we can be different,

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that we are kinsmen redeemers, that we have been called to rebuild and restore, and that you are

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the one doing that work in us, and then through us in the lives of our families, our friends, our

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communities, for generations to come, that we are the impact because of you, God. We ask for your

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glory to come and your will to be done in our lives and the lives of our families. We thank you

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that you would just continue to bring, yes, Lord, in the name of Jesus Christ and by the power of

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your blood, Jesus, that you would right now in Jesus' name bind and break every spirit of religion,

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every spirit of oppression, depression, every spirit of unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment

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in Jesus' name, that you would then loose a spirit of healing, a spirit of forgiveness, a spirit of

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release and love and of power and of a sound mind, that we, Jesus, would walk in your ways, that we

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would learn from you as we study the word of God that's true, it's alive, it's living, and it's

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sharper than any two-edged sword, that it would cut through bone and marrow, and it would bring truth

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and life to us, that the cutting between bone and marrow isn't to bring destruction to us, it's to

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bring healing and redemption and truth and to the core of who we are. And so, Lord, we thank you that

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you're rewriting our stories and you're helping us to hear what your spirit has to say louder than

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any voice of the enemy. And so, Lord, tonight we thank you that you would help us to partner with your

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truth. We thank you that you're continuing to minister life and hope, even right now, the ways

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that we hear your words, God, let them be through ears that are cleansed, that you would create in us

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a clean heart and renew a steadfast spirit within us, Lord, that we would continue to trust in your

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word, to trust in your ability to, yes, Lord, just to help us to step into the promises that you're

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unfolding before us, that every single day that we would take the next best step that you reveal to

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us to do and that we wouldn't take those things lightly, that as we partner with the good plan

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that you unfold for us every day as we seek you, God, that we will find you. Your word declares that

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if we seek you, we will find you. If we knock, the door will be open to us. So, Lord, if we believe in

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any way that we've been knocking and knocking and knocking and you're not opening the door to us,

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God, I thank you that you would bring truth to those areas that we believe lies that have led

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us to believe that you've abandoned us because that's not who you are. You're a good father who's

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faithful, who's kind, who's loving and giving and you show up and you fulfill your promises. You are

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not a man that you would lie and that you've never lied. So, Lord, we thank you that you would bring

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truth to every area that's wounded, that has made us susceptible to the lies of the enemy. We thank

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you that you are bringing truth and healing. I thank you that you would just continue to transform

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mindsets tonight. Yes, Lord, I thank you that you would give people new hearts tonight. We thank

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you that you would remove the hearts of stone that are hard and unable to receive your truth

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and that you would put in the place of our hardened stony hearts a heart of flesh that's

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soft and pliable to you. And I thank you, Lord, that we don't have to be afraid.

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We don't have to fear what might come in the days ahead because we can trust and rely on you. We

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thank you that we can hide under the shadow of your wings and in the presence of the Almighty

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and we thank you that you will continue to help us. Yes, Lord, to see ourselves through your eyes

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in a fresh way. I thank you that you cancel all debts. I thank you that you would help

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us to learn how to forgive ourselves even more tonight.

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I thank you that, yes Lord, I thank you that you are doing,

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even right now, you're just showing me something

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that I didn't even see earlier today

443
00:30:12.120 --> 00:30:13.620
that you want me to touch on tonight.

444
00:30:13.620 --> 00:30:16.620
I thank you that as you are speaking truth

445
00:30:16.620 --> 00:30:17.780
about canceling our debts,

446
00:30:17.780 --> 00:30:21.540
that you Lord would help us to release ourselves

447
00:30:21.540 --> 00:30:24.540
from the bondages we've put on ourselves.

448
00:30:24.540 --> 00:30:29.340
Lord help us to trust that you are, you forgive us.

449
00:30:30.080 --> 00:30:32.400
You've forgiven us and you don't keep coming back

450
00:30:32.400 --> 00:30:33.480
and holding that over our heads.

451
00:30:33.480 --> 00:30:36.800
So if that's happening, we know and recognize

452
00:30:36.800 --> 00:30:39.880
that that is the enemy trying to cause us to believe

453
00:30:39.880 --> 00:30:43.400
that we are not forgiven when we've already been forgiven.

454
00:30:43.400 --> 00:30:45.260
So Lord, I thank you that you would help those

455
00:30:45.260 --> 00:30:47.520
that are struggling with forgiving themselves

456
00:30:48.560 --> 00:30:51.280
or forgiving others, that you would help them

457
00:30:51.280 --> 00:30:55.160
to release everything into your hands.

458
00:30:55.160 --> 00:30:57.660
Ephesians 4.27 in the amplified version says,

459
00:30:58.640 --> 00:31:00.560
do not give place to the enemy.

460
00:31:00.560 --> 00:31:03.400
Don't give him legal access to your life and your family

461
00:31:03.400 --> 00:31:05.580
and do not give the devil an opportunity

462
00:31:05.580 --> 00:31:07.920
to lead you into sin by holding a grudge

463
00:31:07.920 --> 00:31:10.040
or nurturing anger or harboring resentment

464
00:31:10.040 --> 00:31:11.560
or cultivating bitterness.

465
00:31:11.560 --> 00:31:14.240
We thank you Lord, that we will be daughters

466
00:31:14.240 --> 00:31:17.340
that have hearts that are humble before you.

467
00:31:18.760 --> 00:31:21.280
That we would continue to seek your face

468
00:31:21.280 --> 00:31:24.520
and Lord, I thank you that you would help us Lord

469
00:31:24.580 --> 00:31:29.100
to have the grace and the courage in every moment

470
00:31:29.100 --> 00:31:34.100
to pursue healing, to Lord open up our hearts

471
00:31:34.540 --> 00:31:37.020
to receive the new that you have for us,

472
00:31:37.020 --> 00:31:39.740
including all of the love that will come

473
00:31:39.740 --> 00:31:42.980
as we choose to forgive, as we choose to confess,

474
00:31:42.980 --> 00:31:47.980
as we choose to repent and repent being fully turn away

475
00:31:48.020 --> 00:31:49.560
and go in a different direction

476
00:31:49.560 --> 00:31:51.740
from where we've been going in the past.

477
00:31:51.740 --> 00:31:54.380
We thank you Lord in advance for everything

478
00:31:55.240 --> 00:31:57.080
that you're doing, God that you're leading us

479
00:31:57.080 --> 00:32:02.080
into new destinies, new stories, new life where yes Lord,

480
00:32:03.480 --> 00:32:06.760
new life where we haven't seen life before.

481
00:32:06.760 --> 00:32:08.840
Thank you for your redemption plan.

482
00:32:08.840 --> 00:32:11.680
Thank you God that you see all things

483
00:32:11.680 --> 00:32:14.400
and know all things that we need.

484
00:32:14.400 --> 00:32:17.000
Hi ladies, welcome back.

485
00:32:17.000 --> 00:32:19.200
30 seconds and we'll have everybody back.

486
00:32:22.360 --> 00:32:23.680
It's gonna be good.

487
00:32:24.380 --> 00:32:26.040
It's gonna be good.

488
00:32:34.040 --> 00:32:35.720
Hello, welcome back.

489
00:32:35.720 --> 00:32:37.760
Jenna, love that green shirt.

490
00:32:37.760 --> 00:32:39.000
Looks really nice on you.

491
00:32:40.280 --> 00:32:42.080
Thank you, it's from Target.

492
00:32:42.080 --> 00:32:43.660
Oh, I love it, looks good.

493
00:32:45.160 --> 00:32:47.600
Y'all look great, all of y'all look great.

494
00:32:48.840 --> 00:32:51.000
I wore it to go get my driver's license,

495
00:32:51.000 --> 00:32:56.000
but thanks to the whole technological thing,

496
00:32:57.240 --> 00:32:58.780
the DMVs are closed.

497
00:32:58.780 --> 00:33:00.620
Oh, gotcha.

498
00:33:00.620 --> 00:33:03.280
Well, maybe you'll get dressed up all over again.

499
00:33:03.280 --> 00:33:04.800
There's purpose in everything y'all,

500
00:33:04.800 --> 00:33:05.760
even in the little things,

501
00:33:05.760 --> 00:33:07.360
like I don't think God caused that to happen,

502
00:33:07.360 --> 00:33:10.700
but I think the practice of putting on something cute

503
00:33:10.700 --> 00:33:13.120
is good practice and feeling really great

504
00:33:13.120 --> 00:33:14.560
when you go out and about.

505
00:33:14.560 --> 00:33:16.480
Who, welcome back by the way,

506
00:33:16.480 --> 00:33:19.600
who wants to share with the whole group

507
00:33:19.600 --> 00:33:22.320
what you shared in your private breakout group?

508
00:33:24.680 --> 00:33:28.800
Okay, yes, I should remember this from last week.

509
00:33:30.800 --> 00:33:32.360
You're gonna have to remind me.

510
00:33:33.720 --> 00:33:35.140
Oh, unmute yourself, sorry.

511
00:33:36.640 --> 00:33:39.600
I want you to try, you almost had it.

512
00:33:39.600 --> 00:33:41.120
I said?

513
00:33:41.120 --> 00:33:42.840
Think rye bread.

514
00:33:42.840 --> 00:33:43.680
You said?

515
00:33:43.680 --> 00:33:44.500
Shirai?

516
00:33:44.500 --> 00:33:45.340
Is it Shirai?

517
00:33:45.340 --> 00:33:46.160
Yes, it is.

518
00:33:46.160 --> 00:33:47.880
Okay, okay, okay.

519
00:33:47.880 --> 00:33:49.320
I was nervous.

520
00:33:50.040 --> 00:33:51.400
When I practice, I always just feel really bad

521
00:33:51.400 --> 00:33:52.240
where I get it wrong.

522
00:33:52.240 --> 00:33:54.120
Okay, Shirai, go ahead.

523
00:33:54.120 --> 00:33:58.880
Okay, I shared that I'm a perfectionist

524
00:34:01.080 --> 00:34:04.200
and I'm a planner

525
00:34:05.840 --> 00:34:09.639
and I will plan things out in my own mind

526
00:34:09.639 --> 00:34:12.719
about how things should go with friends,

527
00:34:12.719 --> 00:34:14.440
whatever, whatever, it doesn't matter.

528
00:34:14.440 --> 00:34:17.679
And then if I'm a little bit late

529
00:34:17.679 --> 00:34:22.679
or somebody impedes in whatever I was planning, I lose it.

530
00:34:25.280 --> 00:34:29.800
Okay, so let me ask you this.

531
00:34:29.800 --> 00:34:34.159
When that happens, what is your deepest fear?

532
00:34:34.159 --> 00:34:37.320
Like if you don't feel, let me say it this way.

533
00:34:37.320 --> 00:34:40.560
If you don't feel perfect in that moment or that situation,

534
00:34:40.560 --> 00:34:43.020
what is your deepest fear that rises up?

535
00:34:48.600 --> 00:34:50.639
I just feel like I have to have everything right.

536
00:34:50.639 --> 00:34:53.480
Like everything has to be right.

537
00:34:55.199 --> 00:34:58.480
Okay, when's the first time you remember feeling that way?

538
00:34:58.480 --> 00:35:00.080
I guess I felt really, I feel.

539
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:08.320
really out of felt out of control or couldn't control the situation when my parents separated.

540
00:35:08.320 --> 00:35:14.200
Even though it was it wasn't even though it was not necessarily a bad thing, you know,

541
00:35:14.200 --> 00:35:20.940
that they separated. There was just a lot of things I couldn't control when they were

542
00:35:20.940 --> 00:35:27.680
together as a kid. And I definitely couldn't control what happened during their split up.

543
00:35:28.240 --> 00:35:32.080
Subsequently, all everything that had to do with all of that. So

544
00:35:34.160 --> 00:35:37.840
So what's the first time? Okay, so when's the first time when they were together?

545
00:35:38.880 --> 00:35:42.240
And you say I couldn't control things when they were together.

546
00:35:43.120 --> 00:35:51.600
I'm just what's the first situation that comes to your mind that felt scary or overwhelming?

547
00:35:52.320 --> 00:35:54.560
When you have the thought I can't control this.

548
00:35:57.680 --> 00:36:01.360
It definitely has to be with I don't know what they were arguing about.

549
00:36:02.080 --> 00:36:06.640
But I vividly remember my dad picking up like some kind of two by four

550
00:36:07.920 --> 00:36:12.240
and swinging it toward my mom. And I remember saying mom duck.

551
00:36:13.920 --> 00:36:17.760
And that's the only thing I remember. I don't remember what they were arguing about.

552
00:36:17.840 --> 00:36:21.200
All I remember is saying mom duck. Okay.

553
00:36:22.560 --> 00:36:27.360
Okay, so on this lady is the reason I'm kind of leading her through this a little bit. And

554
00:36:27.360 --> 00:36:31.840
you might have already done work on this. But tonight, we're going to do some healing

555
00:36:31.840 --> 00:36:38.160
and forgiveness work regarding men, specifically. And so even if your dad isn't the one that God

556
00:36:38.160 --> 00:36:42.720
leads you to talk about tonight in that timeframe, really want to encourage you

557
00:36:43.680 --> 00:36:49.600
to really lean into this memory a little bit with the Lord. And ask the Lord if there's any

558
00:36:49.600 --> 00:36:55.200
other memories he wants you to kind of work with him on regarding your parents, y'all.

559
00:36:55.200 --> 00:36:59.280
And the reason I'm saying this is because while we don't, we may not realize it.

560
00:37:00.960 --> 00:37:05.440
A lot of the reason we struggle today in situations where we get very triggered where

561
00:37:05.440 --> 00:37:11.200
our anger or our frustration, again, goes from that zero to 180 is because typically

562
00:37:11.200 --> 00:37:16.400
underneath the surface, there's something that we are afraid about, or that were that is still

563
00:37:16.400 --> 00:37:24.080
hurting underneath the surface. And so anytime the little girl Shirai feels scared, whether you

564
00:37:24.080 --> 00:37:29.520
realize it or not, what's happening is that's what's causing that spike. When you feel like

565
00:37:29.520 --> 00:37:35.280
something's not perfect, or you can't control it, or whatever. It's because the little Shirai

566
00:37:35.280 --> 00:37:39.600
is still scared and hurting, if you will. Does that make sense, everyone?

567
00:37:41.200 --> 00:37:46.240
Is everyone following me? I can't tell. Okay. I see some head shakes now. Okay. And so I'm not

568
00:37:46.240 --> 00:37:51.760
saying like in a weird, creepy way, you talk to your little selves, but you all, I'm a big proponent

569
00:37:51.760 --> 00:38:00.400
for encouraging you all to merge back with your little, your young you. Because a lot of you,

570
00:38:00.400 --> 00:38:07.600
myself included in the past, when trauma happened, we began like, in a sense, and not know, again,

571
00:38:07.600 --> 00:38:13.920
this is not creepy, but like, we start creating these protection mechanisms and tell ourselves

572
00:38:13.920 --> 00:38:21.520
that we are not safe. And so we don't remain intact fully with who we are. And so we create

573
00:38:21.520 --> 00:38:26.480
these false versions of ourselves. Again, that's how these trauma things happen. We believe lies,

574
00:38:26.480 --> 00:38:31.600
and then the lies plant all this other stuff. And that's how different versions of us are created.

575
00:38:31.600 --> 00:38:38.800
But a lot of times it's at the core, the younger, yeah, Ivanka, you can call it the inner child.

576
00:38:38.800 --> 00:38:45.440
It's our younger self, literally. And so God has taught me a lot about inviting Jesus into

577
00:38:46.720 --> 00:38:53.360
core memories like that, that were scary, that were wounding, whatever, and ask Jesus to show

578
00:38:53.360 --> 00:38:59.680
you where he was at in that situation as well. So the truth that you need is not only, okay,

579
00:38:59.680 --> 00:39:04.800
Jesus, what was hard in this situation? Reveal that to me. But you also need to know,

580
00:39:05.360 --> 00:39:09.680
Jesus, where were you when this happened? And what do you want me to know about it?

581
00:39:10.320 --> 00:39:14.960
And just ask him, and he'll start showing you things. And y'all, some of this journey is about

582
00:39:14.960 --> 00:39:20.560
you all learning how to trust what God is showing you. And especially for those of you, some of you

583
00:39:20.560 --> 00:39:24.880
have said, well, what if I made a mistake before when I was asking God about something? How can I

584
00:39:24.880 --> 00:39:30.240
trust myself? Well, it's, it's called you, you have to relearn how to trust yourself.

585
00:39:30.240 --> 00:39:33.920
And that comes through practice. Okay. So I want to encourage you all.

586
00:39:34.800 --> 00:39:40.640
I guess that's my concern. I'm sorry. That's my concern is that I've had moments that I thought

587
00:39:40.640 --> 00:39:49.120
I've heard God. And so it does make me cut. And then, but I'm not sure I trust that because things

588
00:39:49.120 --> 00:39:54.000
didn't pan out what I thought I heard. Yeah. I remember you talking about that before,

589
00:39:54.000 --> 00:39:58.080
but I think this is a new season. So even though that happened before Shirai,

590
00:39:58.080 --> 00:39:59.760
I really want to encourage you to keep partnering.

591
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.640
you are different now, and so you're going to hear different now, you're in this community,

592
00:40:04.640 --> 00:40:11.920
and you can run things by us. If things don't align with the Word of God, a lot of times we're

593
00:40:11.920 --> 00:40:17.360
just going to say, hey, that's not quite aligning. And even prophetic words, y'all, just so y'all,

594
00:40:17.360 --> 00:40:25.040
like, when people get prophetic words, we really discourage prophetic words about mates and dates,

595
00:40:25.040 --> 00:40:29.920
and there's a third topic, and it's just not something that we highly recommend. So if people

596
00:40:29.920 --> 00:40:35.760
give you prophetic words like that, we would really encourage you to always really take those

597
00:40:35.760 --> 00:40:42.400
to the Lord, and if they don't align with God's Word for your life, just be very careful with

598
00:40:42.400 --> 00:40:49.760
those, okay? But Shirai, it is about you relearning to trust yourself, and that will be something that

599
00:40:49.760 --> 00:40:55.680
will happen more and more as you continue to heal, and just even acknowledging, like,

600
00:40:56.480 --> 00:41:03.040
when that situation happened, like, how did you feel as a little girl? And just sitting with that

601
00:41:03.040 --> 00:41:07.680
and talking to the Lord about it and owning your emotions in that moment, those are the kind of

602
00:41:07.680 --> 00:41:13.040
things that are going to also help you learn how to trust yourself, even in the present today. That

603
00:41:13.040 --> 00:41:19.360
make sense, everyone? All right, awesome. Thank you so much for sharing. Leslie, go ahead.

604
00:41:23.200 --> 00:41:31.280
Okay, so I was sharing with them that I feel like this, well, last week, I was super emotional. I'm

605
00:41:31.280 --> 00:41:35.600
pretty sure a couple of these girls were in my breakout room with me, not just that day,

606
00:41:35.600 --> 00:41:44.400
but, like, every day, just pouring tears. But prior to joining the heart work, I was seeing a

607
00:41:44.400 --> 00:41:50.720
guy for, I don't know, maybe five months, and things started to kind of decline, not terribly,

608
00:41:50.720 --> 00:41:55.840
but enough to where I started to question things, and that's when I pulled the trigger on joining

609
00:41:55.840 --> 00:42:01.760
the heart work. Well, sure enough, I start hearing from him again, and then last week,

610
00:42:02.560 --> 00:42:06.880
totally got in my feels and was triggered immediately by something he said and went

611
00:42:06.880 --> 00:42:16.720
just completely off on him. And then I felt so guilty for not guarding my tongue and feeling

612
00:42:16.720 --> 00:42:22.320
like I was being driven by my emotions and my feelings more than by the things that I've been

613
00:42:22.320 --> 00:42:32.080
learning through this heart work course. Then we do the let go, hold on session, and I felt even

614
00:42:32.080 --> 00:42:36.400
more confused because I thought, was I supposed to let him go, or am I supposed to just kind of

615
00:42:36.400 --> 00:42:42.480
hold on? Because I do feel like he's my friend, too, and we share things throughout the day with

616
00:42:42.480 --> 00:42:49.760
each other. He lives kind of far away, so our personal interaction wasn't always frequent.

617
00:42:49.760 --> 00:42:54.800
It was more distant, like it still kind of is, and so the confession was more about

618
00:42:55.520 --> 00:43:02.800
being in my feels all the time, it seems like, and trying to stay more on track with

619
00:43:03.520 --> 00:43:08.400
letting God lead me in that way and the Holy Spirit lead me in that way instead of how I feel

620
00:43:08.400 --> 00:43:14.880
that day when I wake up in the morning. But also the tendency, when you said the desire to not feel,

621
00:43:15.840 --> 00:43:22.480
is I have a tendency to, when I feel so bad in that way, is to try to go to bed as soon as possible.

622
00:43:22.480 --> 00:43:31.600
And whether that's taking a gummy of some kind or a Unisom or a Benadryl or whatever it is that,

623
00:43:31.600 --> 00:43:36.720
I'm not much on drinking because then I kind of feel yucky from that, but I'll take something quick

624
00:43:36.720 --> 00:43:42.320
that'll make me go to sleep. And the longer I can sleep, the better I feel because I've just

625
00:43:42.480 --> 00:43:53.120
completely blocked it out. So, yeah, so anytime any of you all shut down like that when you're

626
00:43:53.120 --> 00:43:59.360
feeling so intensely, I want to encourage you to ask yourself, when is the first time I did this?

627
00:43:59.360 --> 00:44:05.360
When's the first time you, and again, you're not asking yourself, you're asking the Lord to reveal

628
00:44:06.240 --> 00:44:16.240
to you, when is the first time I totally, you know, took something to go to sleep and check out?

629
00:44:17.760 --> 00:44:23.520
And just help him remind you of why you did that and what was going on when you chose to do that

630
00:44:24.080 --> 00:44:29.680
and come into that place and heal that wound because that wound was the core. And some of

631
00:44:29.680 --> 00:44:34.560
you all, as you do this, you'll get there and that will get healed. And then God will actually

632
00:44:34.640 --> 00:44:40.320
show you, there's actually another thing underneath of that, of that layer that also needs

633
00:44:40.320 --> 00:44:46.640
healed. So it is, it can be a process at times, but go with what he shows you first. That's how

634
00:44:46.640 --> 00:44:51.680
the revealing for healing kind of cycle happens. And then as you go with that and he heals that,

635
00:44:52.480 --> 00:44:57.200
again, I think you'll start to see more there. The other thing that came up when you were talking

636
00:44:59.440 --> 00:44:59.920
is that

637
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.440
at, um, and someone asked even in the thing, and I think this

638
00:45:04.440 --> 00:45:07.900
kind of can go together. What do we do if someone, if we feel

639
00:45:07.900 --> 00:45:10.700
like God said something to us, you all, this is the thing when

640
00:45:10.700 --> 00:45:15.020
we have counterfeit, like identities created through blind

641
00:45:15.020 --> 00:45:19.780
spots, filters, lies, we believe all the trauma, y'all, we hear

642
00:45:19.780 --> 00:45:23.220
everything through those lenses. We see everything through those

643
00:45:23.220 --> 00:45:28.200
lenses. And even God, y'all, I don't know why that thing is up

644
00:45:28.200 --> 00:45:33.640
there on that screen there. Um, and so that's, that is my honest

645
00:45:33.640 --> 00:45:37.580
answer for you. You all, I also had the same thing. I thought

646
00:45:37.580 --> 00:45:41.520
God led me to that guy. I dated for six years. That just cheated

647
00:45:41.520 --> 00:45:45.660
on me over and over and over again. I don't think now that

648
00:45:45.660 --> 00:45:53.560
God led me to him. I think my, um, my insecurities, my

649
00:45:53.560 --> 00:45:57.640
vulnerabilities, I think my lack of boundaries connected me to

650
00:45:57.640 --> 00:46:01.820
him, uh, in the soul realm. I think that I had a lot of lust

651
00:46:01.820 --> 00:46:04.420
that was still kind of like in my life. I wasn't like having

652
00:46:04.420 --> 00:46:08.820
sex with him, but I really battled. And so our, our lust,

653
00:46:08.980 --> 00:46:13.100
like the spirit of the lust connects very quick. That's how

654
00:46:13.100 --> 00:46:15.460
some of you, like when we get together with people, that's why

655
00:46:15.460 --> 00:46:19.420
you got these intense, massive feelings of sexual, whatever the

656
00:46:19.420 --> 00:46:22.740
first couple of times, guess what? That's not healthy. Y'all.

657
00:46:23.360 --> 00:46:28.080
So our, our, we trauma bonded real quick. Cause I overshared.

658
00:46:28.880 --> 00:46:33.880
I think some of y'all probably relate into me right now. So I'm

659
00:46:33.880 --> 00:46:38.720
saying this, all of that, I'm sharing all of that because I'm,

660
00:46:39.640 --> 00:46:46.840
I allowed my soul and my brokenness to lead me into

661
00:46:47.200 --> 00:46:52.720
basically convincing myself that he was sent from God. And I

662
00:46:52.740 --> 00:46:55.900
know that sounds like, okay, well then how can I trust

663
00:46:55.900 --> 00:47:00.340
myself? Well, I had the same question for myself because I

664
00:47:00.340 --> 00:47:05.060
really messed up there, but I can tell you that I absolutely

665
00:47:05.140 --> 00:47:09.380
learned from that situation way more than I even learned from my

666
00:47:09.380 --> 00:47:12.980
prior marriage. You all I've grown as I've gone. And yes, I

667
00:47:12.980 --> 00:47:16.820
made multiple mistakes that man, the redemption of what God has

668
00:47:16.820 --> 00:47:19.620
done, even through those mistakes, as I continue to give

669
00:47:19.620 --> 00:47:24.680
it to him. I mean, I told y'all, like, I truly am living a whole

670
00:47:24.680 --> 00:47:28.880
different life now. So some of you all, you're hanging on to

671
00:47:28.880 --> 00:47:33.120
people because you're not sure. You're not sure like what you're

672
00:47:33.120 --> 00:47:36.240
saying is God telling me to hold on. Is he telling me to let go?

673
00:47:36.480 --> 00:47:40.400
I will say, um, even people that are friends that are guys, some

674
00:47:40.400 --> 00:47:43.440
of you all really need to be asking God, is this someone I

675
00:47:43.440 --> 00:47:45.280
should be talking to during heartwork?

676
00:47:45.280 --> 00:47:48.580
Because some of these friends, and I'm not saying he's not your

677
00:47:48.580 --> 00:47:51.820
friend, but we've had romantic feelings towards them at some

678
00:47:51.820 --> 00:47:56.260
point. And then we keep staying in contact with them. And God is

679
00:47:56.260 --> 00:47:59.860
trying to talk to you, but you're still hanging on to these

680
00:47:59.860 --> 00:48:03.340
people. And I'm not saying you have to get rid of them for good,

681
00:48:03.340 --> 00:48:06.820
but even some of these guy friends have been taking up

682
00:48:06.820 --> 00:48:10.620
space in your all's world and your hearts and your minds. And

683
00:48:10.800 --> 00:48:14.000
you, you need to press pause on them. And I can't tell you that

684
00:48:14.000 --> 00:48:17.720
that's the case for you, Leslie, God needs to tell you that. And

685
00:48:17.720 --> 00:48:22.080
even if you do your best to hear God, and you, let's just say you

686
00:48:22.080 --> 00:48:25.800
make a mistake, guess what? God will help you. Okay. So you just

687
00:48:25.800 --> 00:48:28.440
walk it out to the best of your ability right now. But I'm just

688
00:48:28.440 --> 00:48:32.120
using that as an example for everyone, because I think that

689
00:48:32.400 --> 00:48:35.520
multiple people are battling with that in various different

690
00:48:35.520 --> 00:48:38.040
ways right now. And I'm not saying you have to get rid of

691
00:48:38.040 --> 00:48:40.780
people are battling with that in various different ways right

692
00:48:40.780 --> 00:48:45.140
now, in this group, just from post I've seen and questions and

693
00:48:45.140 --> 00:48:48.300
things that I kind of have a sense that's going that's going

694
00:48:48.300 --> 00:48:53.500
on and happening. So some of y'all have been friend zoned a

695
00:48:53.500 --> 00:48:57.180
lot. And some of those guy friends that are in your life

696
00:48:57.420 --> 00:49:01.620
are actually, you know, just taking up space that needs to be

697
00:49:01.620 --> 00:49:04.560
there for your spirit mate in the future. But God needs to

698
00:49:04.560 --> 00:49:07.800
show you when to let go and who to hold on to. Just want to

699
00:49:07.800 --> 00:49:11.140
remind you, it's all balance, y'all. Good, good, good, good

700
00:49:11.140 --> 00:49:16.260
share. And Tammy, go ahead. And you know what I'm going to do

701
00:49:16.260 --> 00:49:18.420
now just so y'all know, I'm going to do popcorn and

702
00:49:18.420 --> 00:49:21.720
everyone's going to share and I just nobody else put hands up.

703
00:49:21.720 --> 00:49:24.580
So everybody that I see right now, Tammy, Emily, Christina,

704
00:49:24.580 --> 00:49:27.220
Becca, and Monique, we're going to go one after the other. Go

705
00:49:27.220 --> 00:49:31.060
ahead and popcorn share. And then I'll coach after that. And

706
00:49:31.060 --> 00:49:34.180
then I want to get us ready for the next section. Okay. All

707
00:49:34.180 --> 00:49:38.920
right, Tammy. What I shared with our group was that I had

708
00:49:38.920 --> 00:49:45.280
trust issues with the Lord. And and that sometimes I feel like a

709
00:49:45.280 --> 00:49:51.320
child. And I don't know why I'm like getting emotional for this.

710
00:49:51.320 --> 00:49:55.060
But I said that I get angry when I can't seem to understand

711
00:49:55.060 --> 00:49:59.280
something or comprehend what to do.

712
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:13.760
And when you questioned Shirai, and she mentioned her dad, all of a sudden this memory came.

713
00:50:16.320 --> 00:50:20.320
Now I don't remember any of this because I was very young and my mom told me about it, but

714
00:50:21.440 --> 00:50:26.320
it was like a scene that played out in my mind. And it was the time that my mom told me when

715
00:50:26.880 --> 00:50:36.640
when I was 17 months old that we were at a shelter and he found us at the shelter, my dad,

716
00:50:37.200 --> 00:50:42.400
and my sister was three months old and my mom had hesitations because she didn't feel safe

717
00:50:42.400 --> 00:50:47.840
going back with him, taking us back. And then he got really angry and she said,

718
00:50:47.840 --> 00:50:52.720
you were in the back seat and he kicked you out of the vehicle. You hit the pavement and he took off.

719
00:50:53.360 --> 00:50:58.000
And then she said, when I was two, I was standing up in the back seat of the car and he punched me

720
00:50:58.000 --> 00:51:03.040
in the back twice because I didn't sit down while he was driving. And she said, it put a deep arch

721
00:51:03.040 --> 00:51:10.160
in my back. And so she said, I kind of walked kind of pigeon chested. And then when I was five,

722
00:51:10.160 --> 00:51:16.160
she got me a swing set to help to straighten my back out. And then in 2008, when my back went out,

723
00:51:16.160 --> 00:51:20.400
the chiropractor said that my spine was pushed up to my heart. And that's why every time I climbed

724
00:51:20.400 --> 00:51:26.800
stairs, I would be out of breath. But the other thought that came to mind was when I was two and

725
00:51:26.800 --> 00:51:32.560
a half, my dad got really angry and said it was time to leave. And my mom said he yanked me off

726
00:51:32.560 --> 00:51:38.400
the slide and threw me in the air. She said to you, your hands and legs were flinging like you

727
00:51:38.400 --> 00:51:43.200
were a rag doll and your head hit the barbed wire fence. Because I would ask her for years,

728
00:51:43.200 --> 00:51:47.760
why do I have a one inch scar on my head? Like what happened when I was a kid? And she would

729
00:51:47.760 --> 00:51:53.280
never say. And so as Shirai was speaking and mentioned this thing about her dad, like I

730
00:51:53.280 --> 00:51:59.040
forgiven my dad a long time ago and I hold nothing against him. He's gone, you know, he's passed like

731
00:51:59.040 --> 00:52:05.200
17 years ago, but I hold nothing against him. But when you said what happened then,

732
00:52:05.200 --> 00:52:10.960
then he was this thing like, maybe I don't trust God and sometimes feel like a child because

733
00:52:11.920 --> 00:52:17.600
maybe there's just an area there that's still not been healed, even though in past

734
00:52:18.960 --> 00:52:23.840
forgiveness and stuff, I've gone back to that. But when, anyway, I don't want to go on and on, but

735
00:52:24.800 --> 00:52:31.600
yeah. So there, I'm sorry I took so much time. Okay. Emily, I'm going to jump in just real quick.

736
00:52:31.600 --> 00:52:39.200
Okay. So sorry. So number one, you all, if we feel like a child in a certain area,

737
00:52:39.920 --> 00:52:45.600
I'm not making this up. I have felt like that before in certain things over the years.

738
00:52:46.560 --> 00:52:53.200
I really want to encourage you to not be hard on yourself. You all know that when we are little and

739
00:52:53.200 --> 00:52:59.200
we go through traumatic events and y'all, I know this was super hard to hear. And some of y'all

740
00:52:59.200 --> 00:53:03.680
might even be getting triggered right now, but it's super important to stay with me here. Okay.

741
00:53:04.640 --> 00:53:12.640
Um, when we go through stuff that's traumatic like that, just like, uh, it's very similar to

742
00:53:12.640 --> 00:53:18.720
like when an alcoholic, when they went or a drug addict, they start abusing drugs and alcohol,

743
00:53:18.720 --> 00:53:24.640
their brain can actually, you know, kind of be stunted until God, you know, until they,

744
00:53:25.440 --> 00:53:29.920
they choose to turn away from addiction and God heals. God can restore all that you all,

745
00:53:29.920 --> 00:53:35.680
but it does take time and not that it's the same, but there's an inside version of us,

746
00:53:35.680 --> 00:53:40.960
this little kid that does need healing. Um, and so the times that you feel that way,

747
00:53:40.960 --> 00:53:44.320
I really want to encourage you in the days ahead, just to be really kind to yourself.

748
00:53:45.360 --> 00:53:50.000
And again, I'm going to talk about like even the little Tammy be kind to little Tammy because,

749
00:53:50.640 --> 00:53:55.760
um, she needs love and she needs acceptance and she needs to know that it's safe. Now

750
00:53:55.920 --> 00:54:04.560
it's safe. Now to come out and play and be a kid and have fun and enjoy life. And,

751
00:54:04.560 --> 00:54:11.600
and that she's not going to get in trouble by God for doing so, and really just start loving on her.

752
00:54:11.600 --> 00:54:18.400
Um, and, and y'all, I'm, y'all might think I'm a little crazy, but I talk to myself. If I need

753
00:54:18.400 --> 00:54:24.720
encouragement, like y'all the power of our words bring life and death. And I believe that when I

754
00:54:24.720 --> 00:54:30.640
speak to myself, that my spirit lines up with that because the Bible tells me that it will do

755
00:54:30.640 --> 00:54:37.680
that. And so I, even when I felt that way, I was just like, Lord, right now I feel really silly

756
00:54:37.680 --> 00:54:42.320
because I feel like a little kid, but I thank you that you're helping me to grow up in this area,

757
00:54:42.320 --> 00:54:46.400
that you're helping me to not be hard on myself. You're helping me to love myself.

758
00:54:46.400 --> 00:54:49.760
And you're going to teach me what I need to know because you're a good dad.

759
00:54:50.640 --> 00:54:53.520
And I know that sounds really simple, but those kinds of prayers,

760
00:54:53.520 --> 00:54:59.120
I just started aligning with that stuff and it started changing so much.

761
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.680
much rapidly. I feel like God accelerated my understanding and some things, like even

762
00:55:05.680 --> 00:55:12.120
things that I coach you on now, you all, I feel like God accelerated my healing so that

763
00:55:12.120 --> 00:55:16.880
I could help set other people free. And I believe that can be your destiny as well,

764
00:55:16.880 --> 00:55:24.400
Tammy. I really do. Keep moving. You're doing great. Emily, go ahead.

765
00:55:24.400 --> 00:55:31.960
So just when you started sharing, I felt like all this stuff was coming out, like my true

766
00:55:31.960 --> 00:55:38.880
feelings towards men that I have in my heart, carrying a lot of like bitterness and malice

767
00:55:38.880 --> 00:55:45.120
and wrath and even hatred. And it kind of was all like under this lie of like, like

768
00:55:45.120 --> 00:55:51.720
you can't trust men with your emotions and sort of like a general like, well, yeah, that

769
00:55:51.720 --> 00:55:54.120
sounds completely right. And then I was like, well, that doesn't sound right. And that's

770
00:55:54.120 --> 00:56:01.200
not fair. So, yeah, just confessing judgment and just like all this stuff to defend myself

771
00:56:01.200 --> 00:56:08.200
with that lie, like, like accusing people before they even deserve it. And just kind

772
00:56:08.200 --> 00:56:16.400
of like this general like lens of like, yeah, you can't trust men with your emotions. Yeah.

773
00:56:16.400 --> 00:56:23.840
Thank you for sharing. Christina, go ahead.

774
00:56:23.840 --> 00:56:29.560
When we were talking, I was just thinking about there's places I moved across the country

775
00:56:29.560 --> 00:56:35.720
from far away from my family and all of my people in my 40s. And there's places where

776
00:56:35.720 --> 00:56:46.680
I catch myself stress eating or scrolling and numbing. And it's not just that I'm eating

777
00:56:46.680 --> 00:56:54.420
sugar, but that as I'm eating sugar or I'm scrolling or I'm caretaking. And it's kind

778
00:56:54.420 --> 00:57:00.560
of like, like with a little kid, sometimes if you want to be, make them be quiet, you

779
00:57:00.560 --> 00:57:06.080
give them a cookie and turn on the TV and throw them in the corner. And I feel like

780
00:57:06.080 --> 00:57:17.160
I, there's a part of, like there's places where I have this opportunity to be present

781
00:57:17.160 --> 00:57:24.680
with my heart and with the Lord and actually walk into healing and actually walk into grace.

782
00:57:24.680 --> 00:57:32.340
Sometimes I do it, but a lot of time I follow this pattern of doing something to make my

783
00:57:32.340 --> 00:57:40.500
soul shut up and to make, to make her be quiet. Cause I'm not sure what's going to come out

784
00:57:40.500 --> 00:57:48.320
if I give her space and time. So really, this is really important. We're going to circle

785
00:57:48.320 --> 00:57:52.680
back to the things y'all have been saying. I want to make sure we get through Becca and

786
00:57:52.680 --> 00:58:03.960
Monique. Delisa, I'll have to have you hold on. Okay. Becca, go ahead. Thank you for sharing Christina.

787
00:58:03.960 --> 00:58:09.640
For the confession piece, what came up when you were asking some of those questions was

788
00:58:09.640 --> 00:58:18.600
the sort of question of why do I need to like self-solve every situation? And I think it

789
00:58:18.600 --> 00:58:24.840
has something to do with also not wanting to share externally anything that's actually

790
00:58:24.840 --> 00:58:30.560
going on internally. It's something that's come up for me for many, many years. And I

791
00:58:30.560 --> 00:58:38.960
think I'm feeling a sort of permission invitation to dig into that with the Lord in this season

792
00:58:38.960 --> 00:58:44.920
of what is it? The phrase that came up was like self-satisfying. And I don't just mean

793
00:58:44.920 --> 00:58:50.360
it in like a sort of sexual way, but also like in kind of way, like what is it about

794
00:58:50.360 --> 00:58:59.160
my need to take care of things for myself by myself and not invite other people into

795
00:58:59.160 --> 00:59:04.200
solution or not even expose what's actually going on inside of me so that other people

796
00:59:04.200 --> 00:59:10.520
could speak into that or like provide some kind of whatever it is that is needed. So

797
00:59:10.600 --> 00:59:12.600
I think that's the thing that's sort of jumping out most today.

798
00:59:13.560 --> 00:59:18.760
So you guys, this is so many good things. Okay. I'm going to come here in a minute. Monique,

799
00:59:18.760 --> 00:59:23.720
go ahead. Thank you for sharing Becca. Okay. So I was saying in my group,

800
00:59:24.920 --> 00:59:31.880
I struggle with eating as far as like escaping. I was molested when I was younger. And I think

801
00:59:31.880 --> 00:59:37.400
for me, it's been a safety mechanism, right? Because if I'm overweight, a guy's not going

802
00:59:37.480 --> 00:59:43.640
to want to harm me in that way. And so it's like, I feel like I can halfway try other things. Like

803
00:59:43.640 --> 00:59:50.280
I got the master's degree. I can learn a new program, like everything else I halfway try

804
00:59:50.280 --> 00:59:58.600
and I succeed like over and above when I actually try to like eat clean and diet and exercise.

805
00:59:58.600 --> 00:59:59.880
It's like, I can't commit. I can't.

806
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.800
and stick to it. And I think the lie to telling myself was, well,

807
01:00:03.800 --> 01:00:06.840
this is safe, right? Cause food's not going to hurt me. You

808
01:00:06.840 --> 01:00:10.400
know, um, no one's going to try to like rape and kidnap me. You

809
01:00:10.400 --> 01:00:13.680
know, I think it's this lie. I keep believing, but it's like,

810
01:00:14.360 --> 01:00:17.800
I love how you said it. Like Jesus, where were you when that

811
01:00:17.800 --> 01:00:20.800
happened? And I think that's, that's what I wrestled with.

812
01:00:20.800 --> 01:00:25.000
Cause I, I feel like, did you just close your eyes? Like,

813
01:00:26.640 --> 01:00:29.400
yeah. So I'm going to share something with you all. I'm

814
01:00:29.400 --> 01:00:31.560
going to jump in and coach here because I think it's super

815
01:00:31.560 --> 01:00:36.640
important. So I will share with you all. When I asked Jesus

816
01:00:36.640 --> 01:00:43.440
where he was, when I was abused sexually, you all, he was

817
01:00:43.440 --> 01:00:50.120
weeping. He wept. He weeps for us when we're hurting. And a lot

818
01:00:50.120 --> 01:00:51.680
of people, and we're not going to get into the whole

819
01:00:51.680 --> 01:00:54.760
philosophical thing. Um, well, why didn't he just stop, you

820
01:00:54.760 --> 01:00:57.440
know, jump in and stop it. We, we kind of touched on that a

821
01:00:57.440 --> 01:01:00.360
couple of weeks ago. God gives everyone free will out of his

822
01:01:00.360 --> 01:01:05.520
great love for everyone. And people choose unhealthy things.

823
01:01:06.240 --> 01:01:09.320
And there's a lot of brokenness in the world, but I feel like

824
01:01:09.320 --> 01:01:12.960
it's important to share this right now that, and we talked

825
01:01:12.960 --> 01:01:15.960
about this in the session earlier today. Do y'all know

826
01:01:15.960 --> 01:01:22.200
when, when Lazarus died, it says that Jesus wept. Isn't that

827
01:01:22.200 --> 01:01:26.160
interesting? Jesus knew he was going to heal him and raise him

828
01:01:26.160 --> 01:01:32.200
from the dead. I believe it's a sign of the actual reality that

829
01:01:32.200 --> 01:01:36.040
there was emotion that God expresses Jesus, Holy spirit,

830
01:01:36.280 --> 01:01:39.320
again, they're three in one. So when we talk about one, we're

831
01:01:39.320 --> 01:01:44.640
talking about the other, Jesus showed us in his humanity that

832
01:01:44.640 --> 01:01:52.400
God has emotion and that his heart breaks for us. I want

833
01:01:52.400 --> 01:01:55.840
some of y'all to consider that, that when you were broken and

834
01:01:55.840 --> 01:02:02.080
hurt by someone else, that God wept for you. And I reminded

835
01:02:02.080 --> 01:02:05.560
everyone today, and I feel led again, I wasn't planning on

836
01:02:05.560 --> 01:02:07.920
bringing this up again, but I feel like it's super important

837
01:02:07.920 --> 01:02:11.640
again, tonight that scripture talks about that God will

838
01:02:11.640 --> 01:02:17.680
collect our tears in a bottle. Do you think someone who's

839
01:02:17.760 --> 01:02:26.760
unkind and uncaring would do that? I don't think so. I think

840
01:02:26.760 --> 01:02:31.480
God in his great care for us is saying with that scripture, I

841
01:02:31.760 --> 01:02:37.120
care about what pains you and what has hurt you. And I want to

842
01:02:37.120 --> 01:02:43.320
make it right. Do y'all know that a lot of times scripture

843
01:02:43.320 --> 01:02:47.600
talks about oil being poured out over us wholly, like the

844
01:02:47.600 --> 01:02:51.920
living water, the Holy spirit is like living water, it fills us

845
01:02:51.920 --> 01:02:56.000
afresh. And it's like bellies of living water flowing up out of

846
01:02:56.000 --> 01:02:59.960
us. And there's all this metaphor stuff and symbolism of

847
01:02:59.960 --> 01:03:04.720
water and refreshing. And you all those tears that he's

848
01:03:04.720 --> 01:03:08.520
collecting in the bottle. Some of y'all have cried for a long

849
01:03:08.520 --> 01:03:12.520
time, and you felt like nobody noticed or cared. And then

850
01:03:12.520 --> 01:03:16.920
you've been all alone. And that has not been true. And God has

851
01:03:16.920 --> 01:03:21.040
been saying in due season, I'm going to pour these out over

852
01:03:21.040 --> 01:03:27.800
you like choice, oil. He is going to restore to you all the

853
01:03:27.800 --> 01:03:32.600
locust has eaten in the moth has destroyed. But you have to

854
01:03:32.600 --> 01:03:37.680
start believing that he is good. And partner with that truth.

855
01:03:37.920 --> 01:03:41.120
The enemy wants you to believe God's not good. And he will do

856
01:03:41.120 --> 01:03:44.240
that through the things that people do to harm us. And the

857
01:03:44.240 --> 01:03:48.320
enemy will be like, See, I told you God didn't love you. Because

858
01:03:48.320 --> 01:03:53.720
if he did, he would have he would have stopped that. Y'all

859
01:03:53.720 --> 01:03:57.440
Joseph, if you look at the example of his life, went

860
01:03:57.440 --> 01:04:03.400
through horrible things, did he not? God loved him, and was with

861
01:04:03.400 --> 01:04:12.440
him all along. God never left him. Joseph was promoted over

862
01:04:12.440 --> 01:04:16.520
and over and over again, even in the even in the prison cell. He

863
01:04:16.520 --> 01:04:21.640
was promoted. How does that happen? Because God was with

864
01:04:21.640 --> 01:04:27.240
him. God was blessing him even in the midst of the hardest

865
01:04:27.400 --> 01:04:30.800
moments. And I believe God is trying to say that to some of

866
01:04:30.800 --> 01:04:32.960
you tonight, we're going to start to shift. I'm going to

867
01:04:32.960 --> 01:04:36.600
coach more on some of the other stuff. I want to shift on the

868
01:04:36.600 --> 01:04:39.480
forgiveness section. I feel like we have to go there tonight.

869
01:04:39.720 --> 01:04:43.120
Because we're there already, aren't we? We're there already.

870
01:04:43.360 --> 01:04:46.360
God in his goodness already set up this conversation. Some of

871
01:04:46.360 --> 01:04:51.480
y'all, Becca, Christina, Emily, I haven't forgotten you. Okay,

872
01:04:51.480 --> 01:04:56.120
we're gonna come back. We're gonna come back. James 516 was

873
01:04:56.120 --> 01:04:58.720
what I gave you guys about confessing. We talked about the

874
01:04:58.720 --> 01:04:59.560
tethers.

875
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:05.000
I want to encourage you all to start thinking about these tethers, a tether pole.

876
01:05:05.000 --> 01:05:08.000
I use this example a lot just because it's what I'm most familiar with.

877
01:05:08.000 --> 01:05:13.000
I grew up in the day and age where there was these tether ball games on the playgrounds,

878
01:05:13.000 --> 01:05:16.000
and it's a pole that had a rope and a ball at the end of it,

879
01:05:16.000 --> 01:05:19.000
and you would just stand there as kids and you'd hit it back and forth.

880
01:05:19.000 --> 01:05:25.000
And I use this example because the ball never got unhooked, well, unless it got broken,

881
01:05:25.000 --> 01:05:28.000
but it stayed hooked to the rope, and the rope, guess what,

882
01:05:28.000 --> 01:05:35.000
stayed hooked to the pole until what? Until someone removed it from the pole.

883
01:05:35.000 --> 01:05:39.000
Someone physically had to remove it from the pole, and so the example,

884
01:05:39.000 --> 01:05:48.000
I want to just kind of give you the imagery that when we walk in forgiveness,

885
01:05:48.000 --> 01:05:53.000
when we choose forgiveness, it breaks the tether.

886
01:05:53.000 --> 01:05:56.000
So the ball is us in this example, you all,

887
01:05:56.000 --> 01:06:00.000
and God is wanting to come in and he's wanting to break the tether,

888
01:06:00.000 --> 01:06:03.000
but we have to choose to follow him.

889
01:06:03.000 --> 01:06:09.000
Unforgiveness, when we choose unforgiveness, we choose to say, no, I can't.

890
01:06:09.000 --> 01:06:16.000
It's too hard. They've done too much. It's unforgivable.

891
01:06:16.000 --> 01:06:21.000
What we are choosing to do, whether we realize it or not, you all, this is the truth.

892
01:06:22.000 --> 01:06:25.000
I know this is a hard reality, but I try to make it real plain.

893
01:06:25.000 --> 01:06:28.000
So everybody knows what it really looks like.

894
01:06:28.000 --> 01:06:31.000
If we don't walk in forgiveness, you all,

895
01:06:31.000 --> 01:06:38.000
we are actually binding ourself to that person and to that trauma.

896
01:06:38.000 --> 01:06:44.000
We're actually like making ourselves stuck to them, whether we want to or not.

897
01:06:44.000 --> 01:06:48.000
When we forgive though, it's releasing others.

898
01:06:49.000 --> 01:06:51.000
It's not saying what they did is okay.

899
01:06:51.000 --> 01:06:56.000
It's just saying I choose to forgive and release you.

900
01:06:56.000 --> 01:07:00.000
And then what happens is then we are also released.

901
01:07:00.000 --> 01:07:07.000
That tether is broken and we're no longer connected and tied to them anymore.

902
01:07:07.000 --> 01:07:09.000
That is truth.

903
01:07:09.000 --> 01:07:11.000
Closure will also come from forgiveness.

904
01:07:11.000 --> 01:07:16.000
A lot of you all, you're wanting that person to come and apologize to you.

905
01:07:16.000 --> 01:07:18.000
I understand it. I've lived it, man.

906
01:07:18.000 --> 01:07:23.000
I wanted my brothers to apologize and I begged for it.

907
01:07:23.000 --> 01:07:28.000
I'm begged for it. And then the day it finally came, guess what you all.

908
01:07:28.000 --> 01:07:33.000
It did not feel like it even mattered because I didn't even believe him.

909
01:07:33.000 --> 01:07:35.000
And that's how it goes a lot of the time.

910
01:07:35.000 --> 01:07:39.000
So you all know when I got the most freedom in my life, even from the girls,

911
01:07:39.000 --> 01:07:41.000
my spiritual daughter's dad,

912
01:07:42.000 --> 01:07:44.000
I got to the point where I was just like, though,

913
01:07:44.000 --> 01:07:47.000
at the end time he had lied so many times I was really glad.

914
01:07:47.000 --> 01:07:52.000
And he cried and I was like, just stop, just, just stop.

915
01:07:52.000 --> 01:07:55.000
Because you know what? I didn't even need that.

916
01:07:55.000 --> 01:07:59.000
All I needed to do was to walk into what I knew God was telling me to do,

917
01:07:59.000 --> 01:08:04.000
break that, that stinking relationship up and off of me.

918
01:08:04.000 --> 01:08:07.000
And I needed to walk into the freedom that God had for me.

919
01:08:07.000 --> 01:08:11.000
I needed to walk into the freedom that God had for me to walk into for years.

920
01:08:11.000 --> 01:08:14.000
And when I broke that tether and I just told the Lord, like,

921
01:08:14.000 --> 01:08:17.000
I don't need anything from him.

922
01:08:17.000 --> 01:08:18.000
I just want you.

923
01:08:18.000 --> 01:08:20.000
I just want what you have for me, God.

924
01:08:20.000 --> 01:08:23.000
And I believe God that you'll take care of all of that.

925
01:08:23.000 --> 01:08:26.000
Because God, you have my back.

926
01:08:26.000 --> 01:08:27.000
Don't think for a second.

927
01:08:27.000 --> 01:08:30.000
I don't want something bad to happen to that guy.

928
01:08:30.000 --> 01:08:34.000
But I know daddy loves this girl.

929
01:08:34.000 --> 01:08:38.000
And daddy is looking out for me a lot.

930
01:08:38.000 --> 01:08:44.000
And I know that what he will do is take care of all of those situations.

931
01:08:44.000 --> 01:08:46.000
He will, and he'll take care of you too.

932
01:08:46.000 --> 01:08:50.000
Brokenness in us is what causes us to see men differently.

933
01:08:50.000 --> 01:08:53.000
So this is where I'm going now.

934
01:08:53.000 --> 01:08:55.000
It causes us to see men differently.

935
01:08:55.000 --> 01:08:59.000
It causes us to interact with men differently.

936
01:08:59.000 --> 01:09:03.000
And it actually impacts our ability to connect with men.

937
01:09:03.000 --> 01:09:06.000
Y'all the same thing applies for women.

938
01:09:06.000 --> 01:09:09.000
Same thing applies for people in authority.

939
01:09:09.000 --> 01:09:13.000
People in churches. If you've been hurt by people in a church.

940
01:09:13.000 --> 01:09:15.000
All this stuff I'm saying about men applies to all those people in

941
01:09:15.000 --> 01:09:19.000
situations as well, but I'm talking specifically about men tonight.

942
01:09:19.000 --> 01:09:23.000
Because God told me we need to go here.

943
01:09:23.000 --> 01:09:27.000
Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a choice.

944
01:09:27.000 --> 01:09:29.000
And I want to ask you tonight.

945
01:09:29.000 --> 01:09:32.000
Ephesians four 23 says, forgive one another.

946
01:09:32.000 --> 01:09:35.000
Just as God forgave you.

947
01:09:35.000 --> 01:09:43.000
Because of what Christ has done.

948
01:09:43.000 --> 01:09:46.000
Colossians three 13 says, remember the Lord forgave you.

949
01:09:46.000 --> 01:09:49.000
So you must also forgive others earlier tonight.

950
01:09:49.000 --> 01:09:51.000
Before the pressure was on. I asked everybody.

951
01:09:51.000 --> 01:09:54.000
Who has sinned and made a mistake. And I think unanimous.

952
01:09:54.000 --> 01:09:56.000
It looked like everybody raised their hand.

953
01:09:56.000 --> 01:10:00.000
And I'm going to ask you tonight.

954
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:14.000
I want you to remember that, to know that Jesus Christ went to the cross for you, and for me, and for the person he's asking you to forgive.

955
01:10:14.000 --> 01:10:26.000
And just like the book will tell you, some of you feel like there's just no way I can do this. And I want to encourage you to ask God to give you the strength and to help you.

956
01:10:26.000 --> 01:10:28.000
He will.

957
01:10:28.000 --> 01:10:32.000
He will meet you in the midst of that struggle to forgive.

958
01:10:32.000 --> 01:10:42.000
Here is a couple things on the cycle of bitterness also from the book. These are some things that are going to show up in your life. If you live in a cycle of bitterness.

959
01:10:42.000 --> 01:10:52.000
Holding a grudge, nurturing anger, harboring resentment, and cultivating bitterness.

960
01:10:53.000 --> 01:11:06.000
Proverbs 14 verse 30 in the message version says this, a sound mind makes for a robust body, but runaway emotions corrode the bones.

961
01:11:06.000 --> 01:11:16.000
I believe God wants us to be in health and wholeness in every area of our body, including our mind, our spirit, our soul, our emotions, our finances, you all.

962
01:11:16.000 --> 01:11:22.000
That's not our body, but I just, I believe that as well. He wants us completely whole, lacking no good thing.

963
01:11:22.000 --> 01:11:27.000
And he wants that for every single one of you, including myself.

964
01:11:28.000 --> 01:11:39.000
You all know so many times we will say, you know, if I forgive, it's like, I'm forgetting, like I'm saying what they did is okay. And that's not true.

965
01:11:39.000 --> 01:11:48.000
It's never going to be true. You are never saying when you forgive someone that what they did is okay. People make really unhealthy choices.

966
01:11:49.000 --> 01:12:16.000
And so I just want to encourage you to continue to seek God for your, your, um, uh, sanction as the word that's coming to me, sanctuary, like that safe place.

967
01:12:16.000 --> 01:12:36.000
And I'm going to read something over you. I want you to get prepared to go into breakout session. Your question for this next breakout is what man do you need to forgive tonight and why?

968
01:12:36.000 --> 01:12:41.000
And when you share the, why y'all, you don't have to share all the glory, like all the gory details. Okay.

969
01:12:42.000 --> 01:12:53.000
I'm just saying in general, anytime we share, just know that you can just share the general sense of the why without having to share all the details.

970
01:12:53.000 --> 01:13:02.000
Because sometimes too, we can go too far into a story. I've caught myself even still to this day. Sometimes I catch myself when I'm telling stories about that guy I'm talking about.

971
01:13:02.000 --> 01:13:06.000
And I can start to feel that icky feeling. And then I know, okay, I've gone too far.

972
01:13:06.000 --> 01:13:16.000
Got to back up because God doesn't need me to go into that because he's given me a new life and he's helping me break free from all that. Okay.

973
01:13:16.000 --> 01:13:21.000
I am going to read the forgiveness prayer over you.

974
01:13:21.000 --> 01:13:26.000
Um, before you go into breakout.

975
01:13:26.000 --> 01:13:33.000
Yeah, I just wanna make sure I have the right one. I want to read. Okay, cool.

976
01:13:33.000 --> 01:13:41.000
Yeah, this is the one I'm going with. All right. So if you'll just close your eyes with me for me, as I read this over you, I just want to prepare your hearts.

977
01:13:41.000 --> 01:13:46.000
Father God, thank you for giving me a heart that's willing to forgive.

978
01:13:46.000 --> 01:13:53.000
I choose to obey your word and release those who, who have hurt me and owe me debts.

979
01:13:53.000 --> 01:13:59.000
I ask you to show me the areas where I have not forgiven myself, others, or even you.

980
01:13:59.000 --> 01:14:06.000
Let them surface fully so that I can release them to you and be free in those areas to have an abundant life.

981
01:14:06.000 --> 01:14:21.000
Holy spirit come and plow every place in my heart that is barren right now because of hurt, shame, pain, anger, or bitterness so that I can grow your fruit of peace, joy, and love in my life.

982
01:14:21.000 --> 01:14:23.000
Amen. Amen.

983
01:14:23.000 --> 01:14:25.000
All right, y'all.

984
01:14:25.000 --> 01:14:30.000
I know tonight, I feel like I've been saying this last few weeks, it's tough a little bit tonight.

985
01:14:30.000 --> 01:14:34.000
God's doing some, some deep work I'm confident of that.

986
01:14:34.000 --> 01:14:38.000
I want to encourage you all to share again I'm giving you eight minutes this time.

987
01:14:38.000 --> 01:14:47.000
Short, brief and powerful go ahead and click to join those rooms.

988
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:02.240
All right, make sure I got everybody.

989
01:15:11.160 --> 01:15:14.520
We're just thank you so much for everything that you're doing.

990
01:15:14.520 --> 01:15:18.960
We thank you, Lord, for healing. We thank you for redemption and

991
01:15:18.960 --> 01:15:23.080
the areas where we have felt like there is no way that any

992
01:15:23.080 --> 01:15:26.720
good can come from this area in our lives. We thank you that

993
01:15:26.720 --> 01:15:28.800
you're bringing truth that you're bringing life that you're

994
01:15:28.800 --> 01:15:32.000
bringing healing and restoration. We thank you, Lord,

995
01:15:32.000 --> 01:15:37.320
that you are restoring us from the foundations of the world

996
01:15:37.320 --> 01:15:41.040
that you're giving us a new story. We thank you that even as

997
01:15:41.040 --> 01:15:44.160
Romans 828 says, and we know that God causes everything to

998
01:15:44.160 --> 01:15:46.920
work together for the good of those who love God and who are

999
01:15:46.920 --> 01:15:51.720
called according to his purpose. And even as Genesis 5020 says

1000
01:15:51.880 --> 01:15:55.840
that God will use these situations in our lives, not

1001
01:15:55.840 --> 01:15:59.640
just for us, but to save many people alive. We thank you, God,

1002
01:15:59.840 --> 01:16:03.080
for the testimonies that are going to come from the healing

1003
01:16:03.080 --> 01:16:06.240
things that are being released tonight. We thank you that you

1004
01:16:06.240 --> 01:16:10.400
God did not intend this harm to come on our lives and to come

1005
01:16:10.400 --> 01:16:14.680
into our homes, our families. But God, we thank you that what

1006
01:16:14.680 --> 01:16:17.200
the enemy intended for evil God that you're going to turn it

1007
01:16:17.200 --> 01:16:20.840
around for good again, not to save just us, but to save many

1008
01:16:20.840 --> 01:16:23.240
people alive. We thank you for redemption stories and

1009
01:16:23.240 --> 01:16:26.440
reconciliation and healing that is being released tonight. We

1010
01:16:26.440 --> 01:16:29.840
declare your glory and your favor to be upon the hearts,

1011
01:16:29.840 --> 01:16:32.680
the minds, the bodies, the spirits, and the souls that are

1012
01:16:32.680 --> 01:16:34.800
here tonight, as well as those that are watching the replay

1013
01:16:34.800 --> 01:16:37.200
that they are going to receive the fullness of all that you

1014
01:16:37.200 --> 01:16:39.880
have for them, that no weapon formed against them will

1015
01:16:39.880 --> 01:16:44.560
prosper or will ever prosper as they hide in you. We thank you

1016
01:16:44.560 --> 01:16:46.760
that you're also helping them to come out of hiding, that they

1017
01:16:46.880 --> 01:16:50.400
can come into a safe place with you, God, that even at times

1018
01:16:50.400 --> 01:16:52.760
where the enemy has told them they couldn't trust you, God, I

1019
01:16:52.760 --> 01:16:56.120
thank you that you're helping them even right now to know that

1020
01:16:56.120 --> 01:17:02.880
they can trust you, that you are good. I thank you that James

1021
01:17:02.880 --> 01:17:06.200
1, 2-4 says, My fellow believers, when it seems as

1022
01:17:06.200 --> 01:17:09.040
though you are facing nothing but difficulties, see it as an

1023
01:17:09.040 --> 01:17:12.960
invaluable opportunity to experience the greatest joy that

1024
01:17:12.960 --> 01:17:16.240
you can. For you know that when your faith is tested, it stirs

1025
01:17:16.240 --> 01:17:20.240
up power within you to endure all things. And then as your

1026
01:17:20.240 --> 01:17:24.280
endurance grows even stronger, it will release perfection into

1027
01:17:24.280 --> 01:17:27.920
every part of your being until there is nothing missing and

1028
01:17:27.920 --> 01:17:32.280
nothing lacking. I thank you, Lord, that even in this, this is

1029
01:17:32.280 --> 01:17:36.720
a great reminder, ladies, Ephesians 4, 26 and 27. And this

1030
01:17:36.720 --> 01:17:39.320
kind of goes back to what we were talking about earlier about

1031
01:17:39.320 --> 01:17:43.040
our emotions, like, we want to feel the feels so God can heal

1032
01:17:43.040 --> 01:17:46.080
the feels, but we don't want to allow our emotions to rule us

1033
01:17:46.080 --> 01:17:50.040
and reign over us. Here's a good reminder. Again, Ephesians

1034
01:17:50.040 --> 01:17:53.400
4, 26-27 in the Passion Translation, it says, But don't

1035
01:17:53.400 --> 01:17:58.040
let the passion of your emotions lead you to sin. Don't let anger

1036
01:17:58.040 --> 01:18:02.440
control you or be fuel for revenge, not even for one day.

1037
01:18:02.840 --> 01:18:05.200
Don't give the slanderous accuser, the devil, an

1038
01:18:05.200 --> 01:18:10.680
opportunity to manipulate you. So Lord, we just thank you that,

1039
01:18:12.200 --> 01:18:15.240
yes, Lord, that we will catch the devil quickly and all of his

1040
01:18:15.280 --> 01:18:18.320
deceitful lies, and we'll cast those down and believe rather

1041
01:18:18.320 --> 01:18:21.360
what the Word of God says about us as well as other people. We

1042
01:18:21.360 --> 01:18:24.800
thank you, God, that even in these situations that we are

1043
01:18:24.800 --> 01:18:28.560
talking about tonight, that we are thinking about the areas

1044
01:18:28.560 --> 01:18:31.240
where we need to forgive people, forgive men, where we need to

1045
01:18:31.240 --> 01:18:34.920
come into the fullness of your plan and purpose for our lives,

1046
01:18:34.920 --> 01:18:38.520
that you would help us to see even those who have harmed us

1047
01:18:38.520 --> 01:18:41.400
through your eyes. It doesn't mean we have to allow them back

1048
01:18:41.400 --> 01:18:45.200
into our lives to come close. Some of them, you might ask us

1049
01:18:45.200 --> 01:18:48.720
to love them and extend an olive branch. But Lord, that comes

1050
01:18:48.720 --> 01:18:52.000
through great discernment. But Lord, I thank you that you would

1051
01:18:52.000 --> 01:18:55.680
show us and give us wisdom to know those situations and

1052
01:18:55.680 --> 01:18:58.840
navigate them really well. We thank you that you would help us

1053
01:18:58.840 --> 01:19:06.560
to not label people and use our words to harm or hurt another.

1054
01:19:06.760 --> 01:19:09.920
We thank you, God, that every person has been made in your

1055
01:19:09.920 --> 01:19:12.760
image. So Lord, I thank you again that you give us your eyes

1056
01:19:12.760 --> 01:19:17.840
to see and your ears to hear what your spirit is saying. We

1057
01:19:17.840 --> 01:19:21.840
thank you that we will not partner with the enemy in

1058
01:19:21.840 --> 01:19:25.480
declaring negative things over the lives of other people as

1059
01:19:25.480 --> 01:19:28.200
well as over ourselves. Yes, Lord, thank you for that

1060
01:19:28.200 --> 01:19:31.320
reminder. Thank you even right now that some of you watching

1061
01:19:31.320 --> 01:19:35.200
this replay and even some in the rooms and breakout, God is

1062
01:19:35.200 --> 01:19:39.040
saying it's time to forgive yourself. It's time to release

1063
01:19:39.040 --> 01:19:42.560
yourself from all the guilt and shame and condemnation that the

1064
01:19:42.560 --> 01:19:46.760
enemy has had you living under that has literally hindered you

1065
01:19:46.760 --> 01:19:49.680
from being able to move forward. You've told yourself and

1066
01:19:49.680 --> 01:19:52.080
believe the lie that the enemy has been feeding you that you're

1067
01:19:52.080 --> 01:19:54.640
not good enough and you'll never be good enough, that you'll

1068
01:19:54.640 --> 01:19:58.040
never get cleaned up enough. And that is not the truth for your

1069
01:19:58.040 --> 01:20:00.040
life. God has a different story for you.

1070
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:03.200
And I encourage you to align with the truth

1071
01:20:03.200 --> 01:20:05.080
that God has good plans for you,

1072
01:20:05.080 --> 01:20:08.000
plans to prosper you, to give you a hope and a future.

1073
01:20:08.000 --> 01:20:09.680
He does not have a plan for harm

1074
01:20:09.680 --> 01:20:11.320
or destruction for your life.

1075
01:20:12.360 --> 01:20:14.840
Psalm 139, 13 through 16 says this,

1076
01:20:14.840 --> 01:20:17.680
you made all the delicate inner parts of my body

1077
01:20:17.680 --> 01:20:20.880
and knit me together in my mother's womb.

1078
01:20:20.880 --> 01:20:23.300
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex.

1079
01:20:23.300 --> 01:20:24.880
Your workmanship is marvelous.

1080
01:20:24.880 --> 01:20:26.400
How well I know it.

1081
01:20:26.440 --> 01:20:30.240
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion.

1082
01:20:30.240 --> 01:20:32.560
As I was woven together in the dark of the womb,

1083
01:20:32.560 --> 01:20:35.240
you saw me before I was born.

1084
01:20:35.240 --> 01:20:38.920
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.

1085
01:20:38.920 --> 01:20:43.160
Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

1086
01:20:43.160 --> 01:20:46.720
I thank you, God, that you care about us so much,

1087
01:20:46.720 --> 01:20:51.720
that you recorded every day of our life in your book.

1088
01:20:52.160 --> 01:20:53.160
And I thank you, God,

1089
01:20:53.160 --> 01:20:55.120
that you would just continue to help us

1090
01:20:58.040 --> 01:20:59.800
to hear what your spirit is saying.

1091
01:20:59.800 --> 01:21:01.280
And I thank you that you would help us

1092
01:21:01.280 --> 01:21:04.160
to partner with you in the truth.

1093
01:21:05.380 --> 01:21:09.200
Matthew 5, 14 through 16 in the message version says this,

1094
01:21:09.200 --> 01:21:10.880
I'm putting you on a light stand.

1095
01:21:10.880 --> 01:21:14.360
Now that I've put you there on a hilltop on a light stand,

1096
01:21:14.360 --> 01:21:18.200
shine, keep open house, be generous with your lives.

1097
01:21:18.200 --> 01:21:20.240
By opening up to others,

1098
01:21:20.240 --> 01:21:23.960
you'll prompt people to open up with God,

1099
01:21:23.960 --> 01:21:25.560
this generous father in heaven.

1100
01:21:25.560 --> 01:21:29.960
God, I thank you that as you're continuing to heal us

1101
01:21:29.960 --> 01:21:30.980
and transform us,

1102
01:21:30.980 --> 01:21:33.400
that you're gonna help other people to see your glory

1103
01:21:33.400 --> 01:21:36.440
shining in us, through us, all around us.

1104
01:21:36.440 --> 01:21:39.600
God, that you would draw people to yourself through us.

1105
01:21:39.600 --> 01:21:43.800
I thank you that you would just continue to,

1106
01:21:43.800 --> 01:21:47.320
yes, Lord, wash over every broken area.

1107
01:21:47.320 --> 01:21:49.400
I thank you that you would place the balm of Gilead

1108
01:21:49.400 --> 01:21:52.160
upon the brokenness, upon the trauma,

1109
01:21:52.160 --> 01:21:55.680
that Jesus, you would reveal to your daughters

1110
01:21:55.680 --> 01:21:58.320
where you were at their deepest point of pain

1111
01:21:58.320 --> 01:21:59.320
and show them the truth.

1112
01:21:59.320 --> 01:22:00.880
Show them that you were fighting for them.

1113
01:22:00.880 --> 01:22:03.200
Show them that you were interceding for them.

1114
01:22:03.200 --> 01:22:05.600
Show them that you were speaking truth over them,

1115
01:22:05.600 --> 01:22:07.880
even in that situation.

1116
01:22:07.880 --> 01:22:09.600
And I thank you that you would comfort them

1117
01:22:09.600 --> 01:22:12.600
in those moments and you would help them to hear your truth.

1118
01:22:12.600 --> 01:22:15.120
God, I thank you that as a good father,

1119
01:22:15.120 --> 01:22:17.440
that you are warring on their behalf.

1120
01:22:17.440 --> 01:22:20.360
You've sent angels to war on their behalf, even right now.

1121
01:22:21.240 --> 01:22:22.560
And you sent your son, Jesus,

1122
01:22:22.560 --> 01:22:24.880
to make a way for us to be one with you

1123
01:22:24.880 --> 01:22:26.480
so that we could be in relationship with you

1124
01:22:26.480 --> 01:22:29.200
because you never wanted us to be alone.

1125
01:22:29.200 --> 01:22:32.120
And abandonment is not our lot, ladies.

1126
01:22:32.120 --> 01:22:34.000
That isn't what God had planned for us.

1127
01:22:34.000 --> 01:22:36.640
And that is also a lie from the enemy.

1128
01:22:36.640 --> 01:22:40.520
God is the restorer of family.

1129
01:22:40.520 --> 01:22:42.600
He says in Psalm 68, six,

1130
01:22:42.600 --> 01:22:45.000
that he would place the solitary in families.

1131
01:22:45.880 --> 01:22:47.160
And you all know that he declares

1132
01:22:47.160 --> 01:22:49.080
that ministry to orphans and widows

1133
01:22:49.080 --> 01:22:52.560
is his most important goal for us,

1134
01:22:52.560 --> 01:22:54.160
that we should always care

1135
01:22:54.160 --> 01:22:56.200
about the ministry to orphans and widows.

1136
01:22:56.200 --> 01:22:59.280
So how could we think for a second

1137
01:22:59.280 --> 01:23:00.800
that if we feel alone,

1138
01:23:00.800 --> 01:23:04.760
that he would not be able to come to our aid or willing?

1139
01:23:04.760 --> 01:23:06.760
So Lord, we just thank you that you would help us

1140
01:23:06.760 --> 01:23:10.760
to see all the ways that you are fighting on our behalf,

1141
01:23:11.960 --> 01:23:14.840
even right now, that we would just hear your truth,

1142
01:23:15.680 --> 01:23:17.480
that we would align with your truth.

1143
01:23:18.600 --> 01:23:19.440
I thank you, Lord,

1144
01:23:19.440 --> 01:23:23.160
that you would help us to just receive your grace,

1145
01:23:23.160 --> 01:23:27.040
your goodness, your healing virtue from heaven,

1146
01:23:27.040 --> 01:23:29.880
that it would just flow over us even right now.

1147
01:23:31.320 --> 01:23:33.440
I thank you that Psalm 139, 14 says,

1148
01:23:33.440 --> 01:23:34.880
I will give thanks and praise to you

1149
01:23:34.880 --> 01:23:36.800
for I'm fearfully and wonderfully made.

1150
01:23:36.800 --> 01:23:40.800
Wonderful are your works and my soul knows it very well.

1151
01:23:40.800 --> 01:23:44.160
So Lord, I just thank you that we can trust ourselves,

1152
01:23:44.200 --> 01:23:46.360
we can trust the body that you gave us

1153
01:23:46.360 --> 01:23:48.760
because it's fearfully and wonderfully made.

1154
01:23:48.760 --> 01:23:50.600
And Lord, let that be true more and more

1155
01:23:50.600 --> 01:23:53.480
for each one of us every single day.

1156
01:23:53.480 --> 01:23:54.960
Welcome back, everyone.

1157
01:23:54.960 --> 01:23:55.960
I think we have everyone.

1158
01:23:55.960 --> 01:23:57.960
Do we have one more room?

1159
01:23:57.960 --> 01:23:59.840
Okay, everyone's here, awesome.

1160
01:23:59.840 --> 01:24:00.840
Hello.

1161
01:24:00.840 --> 01:24:05.160
Okay, so who is willing to share with the whole group?

1162
01:24:05.160 --> 01:24:06.600
I can take two people.

1163
01:24:06.600 --> 01:24:07.640
That's it tonight.

1164
01:24:07.640 --> 01:24:09.320
That's it for this last one, okay?

1165
01:24:09.320 --> 01:24:12.320
Because I still wanna coach on the other couple ladies.

1166
01:24:12.320 --> 01:24:14.800
All right, Jessica, awesome.

1167
01:24:14.800 --> 01:24:15.640
Go ahead.

1168
01:24:17.360 --> 01:24:22.360
Hi, so I said the person I was going to forgive

1169
01:24:22.640 --> 01:24:25.480
and why was my dad.

1170
01:24:25.480 --> 01:24:30.280
And he's actually, we're all human

1171
01:24:30.280 --> 01:24:33.040
and he's like really was a great dad

1172
01:24:33.040 --> 01:24:35.800
in my memories from most of my childhood and high school.

1173
01:24:35.800 --> 01:24:38.760
And it was actually like after I moved out of home

1174
01:24:38.760 --> 01:24:39.680
when I was in college

1175
01:24:39.720 --> 01:24:42.640
that he went through a pretty major trauma event

1176
01:24:42.640 --> 01:24:45.960
and has like really withdrawn from my family.

1177
01:24:46.920 --> 01:24:48.920
Even like physically taking a job

1178
01:24:48.920 --> 01:24:50.560
that now he travels all the time

1179
01:24:50.560 --> 01:24:52.760
instead of it being with my family.

1180
01:24:52.760 --> 01:24:55.480
Seeing him kind of like not be there for my mom

1181
01:24:55.480 --> 01:24:57.760
and siblings still in the home

1182
01:24:57.760 --> 01:24:59.520
has been really difficult for me.

1183
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:03.960
And I'm kind of, he's still in that part of his life.

1184
01:25:03.960 --> 01:25:07.320
So it's really like, that's something I like,

1185
01:25:07.320 --> 01:25:08.160
want to forgive him for.

1186
01:25:08.160 --> 01:25:09.800
It's kind of ongoing at the same time.

1187
01:25:09.800 --> 01:25:12.860
So yeah, that's where I'm at.

1188
01:25:13.720 --> 01:25:14.880
Thank you for sharing that.

1189
01:25:14.880 --> 01:25:15.700
We'll be praying.

1190
01:25:15.700 --> 01:25:17.400
What is your dad's name?

1191
01:25:17.400 --> 01:25:18.320
Paul.

1192
01:25:18.320 --> 01:25:19.280
Paul.

1193
01:25:19.280 --> 01:25:20.880
We'll be praying for Paul.

1194
01:25:23.120 --> 01:25:25.080
I believe God wants to heal

1195
01:25:25.080 --> 01:25:27.120
whatever that trauma touched on.

1196
01:25:27.120 --> 01:25:28.400
As you're praying for him, Jessica,

1197
01:25:28.400 --> 01:25:30.640
I just want to give you some insight.

1198
01:25:30.640 --> 01:25:34.000
And y'all, this is how, when we choose to forgive,

1199
01:25:34.000 --> 01:25:37.200
it also can give us revelation and insight.

1200
01:25:37.200 --> 01:25:41.500
So while the situation that happened

1201
01:25:41.500 --> 01:25:44.880
is what caused the current situation,

1202
01:25:44.880 --> 01:25:49.880
I believe sincerely that it kind of pressure point.

1203
01:25:50.980 --> 01:25:52.200
It hit on something else

1204
01:25:52.200 --> 01:25:55.200
that already was underneath the surface in your dad

1205
01:25:55.200 --> 01:25:57.600
that he doesn't know how to deal with.

1206
01:25:57.600 --> 01:25:59.080
So as you're praying for him,

1207
01:25:59.080 --> 01:26:00.840
I would encourage you to pray.

1208
01:26:00.840 --> 01:26:02.960
And I seriously believe this is from the Holy Spirit.

1209
01:26:02.960 --> 01:26:07.160
Just pray for your dad as a young boy.

1210
01:26:07.160 --> 01:26:09.200
I feel like there's something that he went through

1211
01:26:09.200 --> 01:26:11.520
that he maybe has never even told people.

1212
01:26:11.520 --> 01:26:13.640
And so he doesn't, I just keep feeling like

1213
01:26:13.640 --> 01:26:16.800
he doesn't know how to face the whole situation.

1214
01:26:16.800 --> 01:26:18.340
So it's not just this current thing.

1215
01:26:18.340 --> 01:26:20.720
It's the stuff back here.

1216
01:26:20.720 --> 01:26:22.920
And so just continue to intercede for him.

1217
01:26:22.920 --> 01:26:25.280
I believe God, even in right now,

1218
01:26:25.280 --> 01:26:27.160
as you're talking about forgiving him,

1219
01:26:27.720 --> 01:26:29.680
is working in that situation in his heart.

1220
01:26:29.680 --> 01:26:32.160
And I think that, and I'm not just saying this,

1221
01:26:32.160 --> 01:26:33.720
I believe I'm supposed to say,

1222
01:26:33.720 --> 01:26:35.720
I think there's a turnaround.

1223
01:26:35.720 --> 01:26:37.360
I think there's a turnaround spirit

1224
01:26:37.360 --> 01:26:39.080
that's working in his life.

1225
01:26:39.080 --> 01:26:41.080
And he wants to come home.

1226
01:26:41.080 --> 01:26:44.320
It's not like he's left permanently,

1227
01:26:44.320 --> 01:26:46.120
but I'm just sensing like there's this,

1228
01:26:46.120 --> 01:26:50.200
he wants to, he just doesn't know how to get there yet,

1229
01:26:50.200 --> 01:26:51.720
but God knows how to get him there.

1230
01:26:51.720 --> 01:26:52.880
Does that make sense?

1231
01:26:52.880 --> 01:26:53.800
Yeah.

1232
01:26:53.800 --> 01:26:54.760
And this is where,

1233
01:26:54.760 --> 01:26:56.360
I don't know if y'all heard this session

1234
01:26:56.400 --> 01:26:57.880
a couple of weeks ago where Jackie talked

1235
01:26:57.880 --> 01:27:01.680
about the importance of us interceding for our families.

1236
01:27:01.680 --> 01:27:03.480
And this is another example.

1237
01:27:03.480 --> 01:27:06.120
Like her dad, he may, you know, he's your dad.

1238
01:27:06.120 --> 01:27:08.780
And yes, we want our parents to defend and protect us,

1239
01:27:08.780 --> 01:27:11.540
but there's times God is going to use us

1240
01:27:11.540 --> 01:27:13.240
to intercede for our parents

1241
01:27:13.240 --> 01:27:17.320
for things that they don't even know that they need, right?

1242
01:27:17.320 --> 01:27:19.560
We're gaining revelation and insight here

1243
01:27:19.560 --> 01:27:21.040
that's going to be really valuable

1244
01:27:21.040 --> 01:27:22.840
to those that are in our lives.

1245
01:27:22.840 --> 01:27:26.240
Thank you for sharing with us, Jessica.

1246
01:27:27.000 --> 01:27:27.840
Kaitlyn, go ahead.

1247
01:27:30.160 --> 01:27:32.080
Yeah, hi everyone.

1248
01:27:32.080 --> 01:27:34.240
Mine is also about my dad.

1249
01:27:36.000 --> 01:27:38.540
Not sure exactly what I need to forgive.

1250
01:27:38.540 --> 01:27:41.800
It's complex.

1251
01:27:41.800 --> 01:27:44.200
He was an alcoholic and a drug addict

1252
01:27:44.200 --> 01:27:48.760
and he passed three years ago.

1253
01:27:50.520 --> 01:27:52.940
But I think the main thing coming up is,

1254
01:27:53.780 --> 01:27:58.780
I guess I have just like anger

1255
01:27:58.940 --> 01:28:01.960
that he like didn't choose like us in life,

1256
01:28:03.420 --> 01:28:05.620
that like we weren't enough.

1257
01:28:05.620 --> 01:28:09.640
Even though I know like his struggles and like why he used,

1258
01:28:11.900 --> 01:28:15.840
still like, I feel like I need to forgive in that area.

1259
01:28:17.060 --> 01:28:21.500
Yeah, so thank you for sharing.

1260
01:28:22.500 --> 01:28:25.380
I resonate so much with what you shared.

1261
01:28:26.380 --> 01:28:30.820
My dad still, he's alive right now, but he's not doing well.

1262
01:28:30.820 --> 01:28:33.460
And my dad has never really been able to be a dad

1263
01:28:33.460 --> 01:28:35.620
and it is heartbreaking, right?

1264
01:28:36.940 --> 01:28:39.140
So I just sympathize with you

1265
01:28:39.140 --> 01:28:42.080
and I'm so sorry for your loss as well.

1266
01:28:44.300 --> 01:28:47.920
As you were talking about the anger part,

1267
01:28:47.920 --> 01:28:51.840
I just wanna encourage you to forgive yourself

1268
01:28:51.840 --> 01:28:53.200
for even feeling angry.

1269
01:28:55.240 --> 01:28:57.440
I think so often the enemy tries to cause us

1270
01:28:57.440 --> 01:29:00.680
to feel shame for the feelings that we have.

1271
01:29:00.680 --> 01:29:03.040
And I really just sense that a lot with you

1272
01:29:03.040 --> 01:29:04.800
when you're talking about it.

1273
01:29:04.800 --> 01:29:08.360
But also I just am curious,

1274
01:29:10.320 --> 01:29:11.280
this just keeps coming up.

1275
01:29:11.280 --> 01:29:12.480
So I'm just gonna ask you,

1276
01:29:12.480 --> 01:29:16.360
is there any guilt that you took on yourself

1277
01:29:16.400 --> 01:29:18.840
regarding your dad?

1278
01:29:21.240 --> 01:29:22.320
Yeah.

1279
01:29:22.320 --> 01:29:23.560
Okay, can you describe?

1280
01:29:23.560 --> 01:29:25.740
Yeah, okay, just describe the part

1281
01:29:25.740 --> 01:29:27.440
that's coming to mind the most right now,

1282
01:29:27.440 --> 01:29:30.480
specifically something that you felt guilty

1283
01:29:30.480 --> 01:29:32.040
about regarding your dad.

1284
01:29:33.360 --> 01:29:35.440
The last time I saw him,

1285
01:29:35.440 --> 01:29:39.640
I actually was setting a boundary and was very firm

1286
01:29:39.640 --> 01:29:41.480
and like not nice.

1287
01:29:41.480 --> 01:29:44.900
And I was always kind of respected my dad

1288
01:29:44.900 --> 01:29:49.900
and didn't really say those kinds of things.

1289
01:29:51.300 --> 01:29:54.260
And so I saw in his face like how much it hurt him.

1290
01:29:55.980 --> 01:29:58.540
And I also have just a lot of guilt for,

1291
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:04.080
just not being able to save him, you know, since a child, like

1292
01:30:04.120 --> 01:30:08.640
trying to keep him alive. Um, and different ways I blame

1293
01:30:08.640 --> 01:30:13.760
myself for like him getting worse, or, um, like, he got

1294
01:30:13.760 --> 01:30:17.200
really bad when I went to college, and I like blame

1295
01:30:17.200 --> 01:30:17.960
myself for it.

1296
01:30:19.300 --> 01:30:24.480
Okay, so this is why I needed to ask you, okay? It's okay for

1297
01:30:24.480 --> 01:30:31.200
you to live. It's okay for you to live. And I feel like it's

1298
01:30:31.200 --> 01:30:37.080
super important, ladies, so many times, um, when we grow up in

1299
01:30:37.080 --> 01:30:39.600
any kind of home where there's any kind of addiction to

1300
01:30:39.600 --> 01:30:44.600
anything, um, or, you know, someone's just unavailable, even

1301
01:30:47.240 --> 01:30:51.560
mental health issue. I mean, there's so many things, we can

1302
01:30:51.560 --> 01:30:57.240
feel guilty for living. And going like you're saying going

1303
01:30:57.240 --> 01:31:02.440
to college like that is a normal decision that a young woman or

1304
01:31:02.440 --> 01:31:06.920
man makes at that point in their life. And so the enemy is trying

1305
01:31:06.920 --> 01:31:11.200
to cause you to literally feel bad for living. So I want to

1306
01:31:11.200 --> 01:31:14.400
encourage you just to kind of spend some time and really think

1307
01:31:14.400 --> 01:31:17.800
about okay, I want to want to flip this for a sec. I want you

1308
01:31:17.800 --> 01:31:21.200
to think about the ways that you want to live in the days ahead.

1309
01:31:21.560 --> 01:31:26.400
And not receive any guilt from the enemy for doing so. Okay, so

1310
01:31:26.400 --> 01:31:30.840
that's one thing. And the other thing I really, the reason I

1311
01:31:30.840 --> 01:31:34.680
asked you was a because the Holy Spirit just kept saying she

1312
01:31:34.680 --> 01:31:39.360
doesn't forgive herself. And I'm like, for what? And here it is,

1313
01:31:39.480 --> 01:31:44.680
you said something that you feel bad for. But that isn't what

1314
01:31:44.680 --> 01:31:50.240
caused your dad to do what he did. Okay. So I encourage you to

1315
01:31:50.240 --> 01:31:53.400
use the forgiveness prayer sheet. You're going to, you

1316
01:31:53.400 --> 01:31:55.480
know, use that with your dad, you've mentioned you need to

1317
01:31:55.480 --> 01:31:59.400
forgive him. But I also feel like a huge part of why this

1318
01:31:59.400 --> 01:32:02.360
came up tonight is because God wants you to forgive yourself.

1319
01:32:02.720 --> 01:32:06.640
Not because your dad this stuff happened to him because of what

1320
01:32:06.640 --> 01:32:09.360
you did. But he want God is saying, I want you to forgive

1321
01:32:09.360 --> 01:32:13.280
yourself because the thing that you said to him is not what led

1322
01:32:13.280 --> 01:32:18.680
him down that path. And everyone makes mistakes, and it's time

1323
01:32:18.680 --> 01:32:24.000
for you to release yourself. Okay. Y'all we talked we

1324
01:32:24.000 --> 01:32:26.920
covered some good ground tonight. I don't want to forget

1325
01:32:26.920 --> 01:32:30.000
my three ladies. I'm going to do this real quick, but it's super

1326
01:32:30.000 --> 01:32:36.520
important. Christina, Emily, Becca, is that I think I talked

1327
01:32:36.520 --> 01:32:40.080
about Monique's a little bit. I think if not, I'll say something

1328
01:32:40.080 --> 01:32:46.080
on that too. Um, so the Christina was saying that she

1329
01:32:46.280 --> 01:32:49.960
sometimes struggles and anytime the little girl and her starts

1330
01:32:49.960 --> 01:32:53.480
to want to voice something, she's like, shut up, be quiet.

1331
01:32:53.880 --> 01:32:56.800
Okay, so my question to anyone that has that kind of stuff

1332
01:32:56.800 --> 01:33:02.080
happening is, you know, did that happen a lot when you tried to

1333
01:33:02.080 --> 01:33:06.840
use your voice as a kid? Did people tell you to shut up and

1334
01:33:06.840 --> 01:33:09.400
be quiet a lot when you were a kid? I know that sounds so

1335
01:33:09.400 --> 01:33:14.080
simple. But so many people never think about that. Because this

1336
01:33:14.080 --> 01:33:17.800
kind of stuff doesn't just come up in us out of nowhere. This is

1337
01:33:17.800 --> 01:33:21.480
stuff we've learned, we've heard, or we've seen, somehow

1338
01:33:21.480 --> 01:33:24.720
we've experienced it. And if we haven't, okay, here's the other

1339
01:33:24.760 --> 01:33:29.600
the other piece here, ladies, is that if it wasn't us that

1340
01:33:29.600 --> 01:33:33.920
experienced it, then someone in our family has most likely,

1341
01:33:34.560 --> 01:33:38.880
okay, things can travel down in generations. Okay. So if it's

1342
01:33:38.880 --> 01:33:41.400
not you asked the Lord to show you was someone like your

1343
01:33:41.400 --> 01:33:45.440
mother, grandmother, dad, whatever, did they experience

1344
01:33:45.440 --> 01:33:49.840
those things? Okay. On now, let's see, Emily said hatred

1345
01:33:49.840 --> 01:33:54.000
towards men can't trust my own, excuse me, can't trust men, I

1346
01:33:54.000 --> 01:33:57.280
can't read my own writing, men with with your emotions. So I

1347
01:33:57.280 --> 01:34:00.960
want to encourage you. And I want you to start writing

1348
01:34:01.120 --> 01:34:05.640
opposite statements, Emily. I want you to start writing

1349
01:34:05.640 --> 01:34:10.880
statements about a that you can trust God with your emotions.

1350
01:34:11.400 --> 01:34:16.400
And that God will enable you to trust healthy men with your

1351
01:34:16.400 --> 01:34:18.640
emotions. Because here's the thing, ladies, we don't want to

1352
01:34:18.640 --> 01:34:22.720
just trust everybody. Because some people are unhealthy.

1353
01:34:23.920 --> 01:34:26.280
Right? That's what I used to do, though. I used to trust

1354
01:34:26.280 --> 01:34:30.200
everybody. That got me into not good situations. So you want to

1355
01:34:30.200 --> 01:34:33.280
trust healthy people. So make sure your statement aligns with

1356
01:34:33.280 --> 01:34:38.960
that. And I believe just in the hatred towards men, y'all, I'm

1357
01:34:38.960 --> 01:34:43.160
always going to go for the who was the man in your life that

1358
01:34:43.160 --> 01:34:48.680
you felt hatred for? First, where did the hatred towards men

1359
01:34:48.720 --> 01:34:51.600
begin in your life? And you all I'm going to say this to you, I

1360
01:34:51.600 --> 01:34:54.800
already touched on this. But if your mom or someone in your

1361
01:34:54.800 --> 01:34:59.200
life that was a big influence, hated men and spoke about that

1362
01:34:59.200 --> 01:34:59.680
a lot.

1363
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:04.680
You know, that gets ingrained in our minds and our spirits.

1364
01:35:04.680 --> 01:35:08.800
Words that we hear just y'all ever go and you're just, you know, kind of going about

1365
01:35:08.800 --> 01:35:10.840
your day and then you just start singing a song.

1366
01:35:10.840 --> 01:35:14.240
Has anybody ever had that happen?

1367
01:35:14.240 --> 01:35:15.240
Happens to me all the time.

1368
01:35:15.240 --> 01:35:16.640
And sometimes I'm like, where did that song come from?

1369
01:35:16.640 --> 01:35:17.640
Oh, yeah, that's right.

1370
01:35:17.640 --> 01:35:20.920
It came up out of my spirit because I sing it.

1371
01:35:20.920 --> 01:35:25.540
The same thing happens with yucky garbage stuff too, doesn't it?

1372
01:35:25.540 --> 01:35:28.320
We just don't catch it as quick.

1373
01:35:28.320 --> 01:35:29.920
So let's catch the garbage.

1374
01:35:30.840 --> 01:35:31.840
Where's that stuff coming from?

1375
01:35:31.840 --> 01:35:37.860
Okay, Becca, why do I need to self solve every situation, man, that stood out to me when

1376
01:35:37.860 --> 01:35:40.000
you said that.

1377
01:35:40.000 --> 01:35:44.660
Because somewhere along the way, someone didn't solve a situation for you.

1378
01:35:44.660 --> 01:35:45.800
Someone didn't come to your aid.

1379
01:35:45.800 --> 01:35:47.740
They didn't fight for you.

1380
01:35:47.740 --> 01:35:48.740
They didn't war on your behalf.

1381
01:35:48.740 --> 01:35:51.520
I mean, it could be any of those kind of things.

1382
01:35:51.520 --> 01:35:55.760
And because somewhere along the way, someone didn't in your mind fight for you the way

1383
01:35:55.760 --> 01:35:59.000
that you thought that they should have.

1384
01:35:59.000 --> 01:36:00.360
And maybe they should have, right?

1385
01:36:00.360 --> 01:36:04.800
Okay, sometimes it's real, like our parents, or other people that were supposed to protect

1386
01:36:04.800 --> 01:36:07.000
us didn't or neglected us.

1387
01:36:07.000 --> 01:36:12.180
But sometimes it's also the way we perceive a situation, okay?

1388
01:36:12.180 --> 01:36:17.200
When we're little, we can't fully comprehend every situation we're going through.

1389
01:36:17.200 --> 01:36:20.120
And again, it doesn't mean you saw the situation wrong.

1390
01:36:20.120 --> 01:36:26.920
I'm just saying sometimes we do, as kids only remember certain things, because we can't

1391
01:36:26.920 --> 01:36:28.440
process it all.

1392
01:36:28.440 --> 01:36:30.840
All right, so that was the first thing I had for you.

1393
01:36:30.840 --> 01:36:36.240
And then Becca, the other thing, when you said need to take care of myself by myself,

1394
01:36:36.240 --> 01:36:38.760
kind of linked to that same first one, all of it stood out to me.

1395
01:36:38.760 --> 01:36:42.640
But those two things, those are very similar threads.

1396
01:36:42.640 --> 01:36:50.940
So when, okay, two things, when the need or the feeling in you arises, I need to take

1397
01:36:50.940 --> 01:36:55.080
care of myself by myself, I want you to like be prepared.

1398
01:36:55.080 --> 01:37:02.000
So like, just pray and find some scriptures, but just declarations like, it could be something

1399
01:37:02.000 --> 01:37:06.200
as simple as, you know, devil, I'm not going to rely on just myself, I'm going to reach

1400
01:37:06.200 --> 01:37:08.320
out and ask people for help.

1401
01:37:08.320 --> 01:37:11.920
It literally and we don't want to talk to the devil y'all too much, but it's just this

1402
01:37:11.920 --> 01:37:16.520
positive declaration, I'm aligning with God's purposes and plans for my life.

1403
01:37:16.520 --> 01:37:21.240
And that includes community, which includes people helping me to see the difference there.

1404
01:37:21.240 --> 01:37:23.660
So just be careful on how you declare it.

1405
01:37:23.660 --> 01:37:30.240
But the other thing is, is that your assignment for the next few weeks is to ask God, who

1406
01:37:30.240 --> 01:37:35.480
you are supposed to have help you in with what, and then start asking him, you're going

1407
01:37:35.480 --> 01:37:41.960
to start activating, opening yourself up to allowing people to help you and war against

1408
01:37:41.960 --> 01:37:45.680
that old lie and tape that's been playing in your mind and your spirit.

1409
01:37:45.680 --> 01:37:46.680
Okay.

1410
01:37:46.680 --> 01:37:50.280
These are real like things you guys can, any lady, any of y'all can put into practice if

1411
01:37:50.280 --> 01:37:51.680
that's something you struggle with.

1412
01:37:51.680 --> 01:37:52.680
Okay.

1413
01:37:52.680 --> 01:37:53.680
All right.

1414
01:37:53.680 --> 01:37:54.680
We're going to close up tonight.

1415
01:37:54.680 --> 01:37:55.840
I've been so bad the last few weeks.

1416
01:37:55.840 --> 01:37:57.480
We're over time again.

1417
01:37:57.480 --> 01:37:58.480
We've had a good night.

1418
01:37:58.480 --> 01:38:01.480
I hope you all are experiencing some truth and some revelation.

1419
01:38:01.480 --> 01:38:03.640
Father, thank you.

1420
01:38:03.640 --> 01:38:10.920
Thank you for being so good to us and for loving us or never leaving us for never forsaking

1421
01:38:10.920 --> 01:38:11.920
us.

1422
01:38:11.920 --> 01:38:17.280
God, I thank you that you would man, so many vulnerable stories shared tonight, Lord, and

1423
01:38:17.280 --> 01:38:23.240
a lot of tender hearts, rawness can feel really hard to hear these difficult stories.

1424
01:38:23.240 --> 01:38:28.600
So what I just pray that you would just come in and comfort your daughters tonight.

1425
01:38:28.600 --> 01:38:33.040
And I just pray that you would help them as they're laying down, even at to sleep, that

1426
01:38:33.040 --> 01:38:37.640
you would help them to have sale arrest, that they would experience the peace of God, like

1427
01:38:37.640 --> 01:38:38.640
never before.

1428
01:38:38.640 --> 01:38:40.800
God, you are the God of peace.

1429
01:38:40.800 --> 01:38:46.320
And we just ask you to usher peace into this place right now and to every home, every room,

1430
01:38:46.320 --> 01:38:53.920
every person that represents these places, Lord, that we would be marked by your peace.

1431
01:38:53.920 --> 01:38:56.920
And I thank you that your peace that passes all understanding guards, our hearts and our

1432
01:38:56.920 --> 01:38:58.480
minds through Christ Jesus.

1433
01:38:58.480 --> 01:39:03.200
And I thank you that, that our minds, our bodies, our spirits, and our souls are protected

1434
01:39:03.200 --> 01:39:04.200
by you.

1435
01:39:04.200 --> 01:39:08.440
God, that we right now are being hid under the shadow of your wings and in the presence

1436
01:39:08.440 --> 01:39:13.440
of the almighty, that we don't have to fear or be afraid of anything that is to come because

1437
01:39:13.440 --> 01:39:15.720
you God are warring on our behalf.

1438
01:39:15.720 --> 01:39:19.480
Even right now, I thank you for your hedge of protection around us and our families.

1439
01:39:19.480 --> 01:39:20.480
I thank you, God.

1440
01:39:20.480 --> 01:39:21.480
Yes, Lord.

1441
01:39:21.480 --> 01:39:24.960
I thank you for the, the spirit of breakthrough.

1442
01:39:24.960 --> 01:39:28.720
I thank you for the spirit of liberty and freedom being released into every one of these

1443
01:39:28.720 --> 01:39:34.280
ladies' lives tonight and in the days ahead more and more and more in Jesus name.

1444
01:39:34.280 --> 01:39:35.280
Amen.

1445
01:39:35.280 --> 01:39:37.480
Y'all, he's fighting for you.

1446
01:39:37.480 --> 01:39:38.480
I love it.

1447
01:39:38.480 --> 01:39:40.120
God's doing so much good stuff.

1448
01:39:40.120 --> 01:39:42.880
I hope you hear him in a fresh way.

1449
01:39:42.880 --> 01:39:43.880
We love you.

1450
01:39:43.880 --> 01:39:44.880
And we'll see you all in the group.

1451
01:39:44.880 --> 01:39:45.880
Okay.

1452
01:39:45.880 --> 01:39:45.880