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Guys, how are you tonight?

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David.

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From work.

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Okay.

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Got it.

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Now Carlos is with us Carlos are you in a place we usually do video if we can. So but if you're not in a place where you can do it that's fine.

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Josh is on here. I don't know what our other guys are tonight.

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Yeah, I can do it.

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I just got home from work so that's right. No worries.

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Give me a sec. All the guys are always in different states of being in

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rest or unrest or whatever.

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Transition.

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Josh you there.

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Yeah.

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Josh is there he's like, Yeah, yeah.

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Um,

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I did exercise tonight.

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And wanted to get one and everybody to start thinking about

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some some things that they're feeling right now. Ryan's here but I wanted to kind of get everybody in the room. Before we kind of did that so everybody can do it together, that kind of thing so maybe we'll just wait a little bit longer

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to get into that.

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And right now, we can just do an update real quickly so how's everybody doing, what's everybody doing, what is going on.

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What's new.

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What's exciting.

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What's not so exciting.

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What is troubling, and so on and so forth. So, who wants to start.

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I'll jump in if you guys don't mind.

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Yeah, go ahead, Carlos. So it's my first time joining you guys so thank you for having me.

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You know, it's been really interesting I am just now starting week three of the hard work.

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I'm going to be pretty clear and just that way everyone kind of understands where I'm coming from but initially when I started this, I wasn't sure what to expect.

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I honestly thought it was just kind of like, you know, almost like reading the self help book and be like okay cool here you go and then figure it out as you go type deal.

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But I can say that I have just, there is a very underlining supernatural thing going on, I guess I would say, specifically I was looking at last week I had completed week number two, and as I was going through just kind of day to day stuff.

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I just like for my own self recognize like I was at a pretty even keel place like I was, you know, I, I'm a little bit on edge you know just kind of naturally as a person with work and things like that.

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And I was just like, man, you were guys at work or trying to either pushing boundaries to try to do and I was just, it was just kind of rolling off my shoulders you know not.

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It wasn't triggering anything and I actually had felt the peace of the Lord for like all week that I hadn't really felt in a very long time.

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And so things that would normally try to trigger me like I just wasn't triggered by any of the, the common stuff and so it was really interesting because I was just having dialogue between the Lord and I, as we were processing week two, and I felt good man I felt really, really good.

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I felt that the Lord was speaking to me about, you know, some past things that I had to address and identify.

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And, like I said, man, I was sleeping well I was resting.

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Nothing, nothing really seemed to kind of bother me.

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And then last night was a whole different story, and this is kind of where I'm like, trying to make sense of what all is kind of how it's unfolding.

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I started reading week three I started my readings.

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And then all of a sudden, out of nowhere man like yes last night. I mean, just to be open with you guys like I just started like breaking down, and I have not one it's not really in my person to kind of just do that.

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And I just couldn't tell you what it was like I can't tell you that I was having some.

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crazy emotional breakthrough or that the Holy Spirit was, you know, showing me something

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super deep.

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It was none of that.

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And it just kind of opened the floodgates for me a little bit.

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And it freaked me out, to be honest with you.

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It freaked me out because I didn't understand what was happening or why I was feeling what

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I was feeling and basically having to process.

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Even today, I'm not really sure why.

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I just know that I had a solid 30, 40 minutes of just kind of letting things kind of release

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and let go, which, you know, I'm glad that I'm able to join because, you know, I know

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it's the check-in and I really wouldn't, you know, I'm sure you guys will talk about it,

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but kind of identify, you know, that process of what that looks like.

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I'm not sure if I'm the only guy who's gone through it or whatever, but really identify

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like, hey, okay, we recognize what that looks like or what's going on on your end.

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But really putting more words to some of the things that I've experienced.

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And I felt fine today, like it wasn't anything crazy.

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But I remember as I was reading the book and going through the heart work, that was one

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of the things that Jackie really mentioned.

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It's like, yeah, you're going to feel stuff.

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And, you know, initially I was like, cool, not a big deal.

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And I think the Lord and the Holy Spirit started kind of unpacking some things, I guess.

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And I remember last week, like on Friday, things started to pop up and I quickly sorted

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away.

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I quickly, I was like, I don't, I remember thinking to myself, like, I actually don't

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have time to, to deal with this.

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So I packed it away.

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I was like, I packed it away.

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I was like, I, you know, I, I felt it come up and I was like, I gotta, I don't have time

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for this.

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And then yesterday, like I said, last night just came around and, and just really felt

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all the things.

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And I really don't know what it was or have the, the words to describe, you know, like

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I said, I didn't have one memory.

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If anything, I can describe it as like a lot of, a lot of small little memories coming

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together and basically just releasing a lot of grief, if that makes any sense to you guys.

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I mean, I don't know.

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And so that's where that, where I'm at really, really good stuff happening.

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Like I said, I really, the Lord had asked me to, to let go of some things, you know,

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to kind of not let go in terms of like, forget it, but like to give it to him.

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I, I, I didn't, I didn't think that I had offense towards some of the things that happened

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to me in the past.

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You know, obviously being a Christian and walking out my, my life, forgiveness has always

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been at the core, you know, at the cornerstone of that.

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And so in my, in my head, I, you know, if anything came up where I felt offended, like,

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Oh, I'm going to forgive them and just kind of leave it at that, you know?

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But the Lord was like, man, you've been, yeah, like you've, you say that you've like, you've

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forgiven and you do things, but you ruminate and you hold on to things.

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And the Lord really showed me that it was like an offense that I was carrying and that

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he was asking me to give that to him.

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You know, and like, again, give it to him as like, Hey, you don't need to ruminate on

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this.

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Like, you don't need to sit here and think about all the what ifs and, you know, should

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have done that and should have done this or, you know, all the things.

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So that was really cool last week.

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Just the Lord showing me like, essentially that I did have offense, but even though it

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was under the definition of like, Oh, I'm not mad at that person or I'm not really angry

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at this person, just holding on to the things that happened in itself, the circumstances

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around that, you know, that's where the offense for me was.

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And it was really cool.

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I just handed it over to the Lord, you know, multiple things.

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And like I said, I felt great, felt great.

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And just yesterday was a little bit of a little bit of a swirl.

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And, you know, that's why I jumped on here, because I saw it, you know, and I was like,

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you know what?

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I need to get with some guys who probably have been through it or at least have some

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words to put into into what I was experiencing.

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So that's awesome.

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Thank you for sharing, Carlos.

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Yeah.

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We have no idea what you're talking about.

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No, just that's that's great.

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That's all I did.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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No, we have no recollection of any of that.

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Like, yeah, no, that's that's that's pretty, pretty standard.

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For the course, for heart work in general.

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and kind of the stuff that we've been working through

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for on this call.

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And it's exactly what this is all about,

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where it comes out in different ways through our conversations

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and some of the things that we do.

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But yeah, essentially, I think it's really cool.

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First of all, I just want to affirm that you're actually

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getting some breakthrough, because whenever you have,

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just when you have or have any kind of thing that's

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not normal, that's usually shifting,

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that's usually breaking through, that's usually transition,

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that's usually indications of something is shifting

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that needs to shift.

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Sometimes when you're dealing with something that's messy,

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say you're cleaning out a drain pipe,

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that's all clogged up,

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and you finally have that breakthrough moment

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where it kind of breaks through.

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Well, it does get messy when you're cleaning out crap

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out of a drain pipe.

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But eventually, as the breakthrough comes through,

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then it gets clean and it gets better and so forth

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and it operates better.

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So I don't know if that's the best analogy,

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but that's the thing that came to mind.

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So it's just kind of like, when things shift and change,

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I have a tendency to think that change is mostly good.

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And on the surface, depending on, like I said,

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if it's a drain pipe that gets messy,

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on the surface, on the front end,

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sometimes you're like, oh, this is not good.

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But eventually I think that change overall is a good thing.

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Like I enjoy change.

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There are some people that are resistant to change, period.

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There is such a thing in corporate America

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called change management.

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It's actually a whole department of how they can bring

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about change on a broad level and how to systematize it

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and prioritize and so forth and manage it in such a way

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that it doesn't become very difficult.

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So change though, as a general situation,

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is, I think, always good, but it does leave an unsettling.

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If it's not something that you're used to

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in terms of emotionally processing

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what was happening to you,

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things that have been held up for a long time,

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it can be pretty jarring.

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It can be pretty like, whoa, this is amazing.

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I didn't know that was there.

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So that's a lot of what the heartwork experience is like.

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And I want some of the guys to speak to that a little bit

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and just respond to your sharing.

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You guys got anything you'd like to share,

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anything that came to mind while Carlos was sharing?

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I felt like, Josh, I felt like you were leaning

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in pretty good.

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You had a smirk on your face.

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I felt like you were like, yeah, I know, I feel you.

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And it's always good to hear testimony.

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It's always good to hear testimony

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of what the Holy Spirit's doing in other people's lives.

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Yeah.

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I don't have a whole lot to share.

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Okay.

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But I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

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I enjoyed listening to Carlos' testimony

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and how it's changing him,

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because it's very much like listening to someone who,

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and I'm not saying this is Carlos,

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but, you know, when you see people who are,

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who don't accept God and they resist Him,

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and then one day they, they have an encounter with Him

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and things begin to change in their life.

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It's always wonderful to see that.

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And it's encouraging and it's uplifting.

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And for some, it's quite a refreshment to hear those things

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because it's a reminder to us that, you know,

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God's not dead.

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There's a movie on that thing, but, you know.

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Yeah.

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No, I, I agree.

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I love it when, like, I was talking about change,

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but yeah, there's also that sort of like

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another form of change is like redemption,

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like when it finally hits

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and when it finally like really comes into being.

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So yeah, we want to, you know,

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it's really refreshing to see that

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when you've, when you finally had some breakthrough.

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So Carlos, we want to definitely

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acknowledge and champion and, and rejoice and, you know,

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like, you know, be happy with you

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that you've had this breakthrough

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and that you're seeing some things

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and, and don't be surprised about the emotions

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that might come from that because that's all normal.

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It just really is.

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We're just not used to it, especially as men.

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We're not used to what emotions may come that surprise us.

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It's like we're used to the ones that we know and we're familiar with and that we have the ability to control. I mean, I can't imagine your situation, you know, why you would even need to control your emotions. You only work in like, you know, emergency services. So it's like, Hello, but you know, I get it. And so you're good at that. You're good at like, keeping it level, keeping it like, I don't got time for this. You know, I got to pack this in. I got stuff to do.

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That's honorable, but at the same time, it doesn't serve your personhood in the sense of like, Hey, I've got to process some stuff. So it kind of wars against you, even, you know, what your career is. And so, but it sounds like what's really cool. I think about one of the things you said was that you were just going about your business and this just started happening to you.

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And it wasn't because it just started happening. It was because a while back, you had given permission for this to happen to you because of the hardware process. It just didn't show up until there was a moment when you were ready, or there was a moment when you were, you know, like marinating on it. So it's just like, it's a good sauce. It's like, you know, it doesn't taste good at first, but once it marinates, once it sets in, once it like comes all together,

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then it starts to be something and you're like, Whoa, this is pretty good. So I think that's kind of cool how it just came to you, but it really didn't come to you. It was a, it was a precipitation of something that you had given permission to a while back.

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And that to me just now, like this, you saying that is like, Oh yeah, I did sign that permission slip. I did. Do you know what I mean? Like, and that's where I, again, I think the other, the other thing that my humanistic perspective tries to do is like, okay, obviously me kind of breaking down last night was like, and you're going to have to excuse me, but I was like, shit, I have a problem. Right.

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It's like, okay, I have a problem. Now I got to fix it. And so that's where the human is like, now I got to fix this. Right. Like I have a problem now. And then I started to realize I was like, actually, man, I try to find like, well, what's the solution? Why was I doing this? Why did I, you know, and I was like, man, like, I, and I don't know. And I don't want to go spiral down that, you know, I remember part of the book was like, man, don't go digging.

225
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Like, don't go trying to like, figure out why or who or what or whatever. But in my mind, I was just like, Hey, I got to go fix this. Like, I got to, I got to figure this out. And I think that was the other part of the struggle where I was like, well, now what do I do if I don't go fix this? Or if I can't if I'm not supposed to go dig, then do I just sit here with it? And do I just kind of like, like, man, it was I, you know, I'm slightly embarrassed by it, to be honest with you.

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But it was some ugly crime. Like, it wasn't like, a tear where you're like, Oh, cool. Everything's fine. Like, no, it was like, here in my living room. And I, you know, I would, if anybody was in here, I would have been like, completely embarrassed by it. And so that that's where I was struggling with, with some of that stuff is like, man, how do I, how do I, you know, you want to fix it? Right. And I think that's human nature. But, you know, I, I didn't know what to do with it.

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I didn't know what to do with it. Basically, I yeah, I can sit with I can sit with the emotion. But, you know, it's like, cool, I can sit here. But what's the solution? Like, how do I fix this? Obviously, I'm dealing with a bunch of stuff. How do I fix it? And I think, as men, you know, everyone has that kind of hardwired and like, okay, hey, there's a problem fix it. Like, how do you fix it? And so I just, and I was kind of left with no real solution. You know, I prayed and I spent time with the Lord and, and trying to figure it out.

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But I really kind of let my foot off the gas in terms of like, hey, I'm going to go fix this right now. Because frankly, I don't have the solution. I don't know, because I couldn't identify what was when I was experiencing. So I just kind of let it go. And again, that's why I was just like, I looked, I was like, when's this heart check in? I was like, oh, it's today. So I'm glad that I was able to make it. Like I said, I just, I want a little bit more context to help me.

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Like, hey, man, like, if somebody experienced what I experienced yesterday, then at least I know that I'm in the right track. And I'm not just making this up and having some kind of weird break. You know what I mean? Like,

230
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Oh, no. So like, so here's the thing, um, you know, just, just to sort of like reset a little bit, you know, um, the digging part is, um, oh, I had this breakthrough. I had this connection on this emotion, or I had this trauma. So let me go dig for more instances or for more trauma or for more stuff. So that's the digging part. You are supposed to make connections.

231
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actions, but then again, not try to go through and try to, you

232
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know, tear the room apart and trying to find all the

233
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connections that are supposed to be, it's supposed to sort of

234
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like just come to you. So that's the Holy Spirit's job is to

235
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bring these things to you over a period of time. Number one, so

236
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they're manageable. And number two, because he just has a way

237
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of presenting things that are priority, and things are in a

238
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process so that it is a process, but as a spirit led

239
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process, it's not like, oh, you have a problem. Most of what we

240
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have been raised with, especially again, as men is,

241
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yeah, you do have a problem, and you better go fix it. So the

242
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pressure is on. In this instance, in this process, the

243
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pressure is completely off. So it's just always, it's always

244
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grace, it's always mercy. It's always an invitation coming into

245
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sonship. So it's not a, you know, it's, I like to use this

246
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analogy, it's kind of like, God's the kind of father that

247
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comes into your room gives you a firm direction that says, Hey,

248
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this room's a mess, get it cleaned up. And, but then walks

249
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in the doorway, keeps the light on, and helps you clean it up,

250
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you know, shows you some things through the process versus

251
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I kind of feel like what most people are used to is a father

252
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who would come in and say, not that your father did this, but

253
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I'm just saying a father who would come in and go, this

254
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room's a mess, clean it up, slam the door and almost shut off the

255
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lights, which doesn't help at all. Because it's like, well,

256
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now what do I do, you know, and so two different, two different

257
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scenarios are way to handle it. But same situation, still a

258
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mess, still needs attention, that kind of thing. So yeah,

259
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glad that you're going through that and hang with us. And I

260
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think that we'll get some we'll get some good stuff. Anybody

261
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else have something they want to on their heart and their mind

262
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they want to respond to?

263
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Can I ask Carlos a question? Yeah. Yeah, Carlos. So just just

264
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to help me understand a little bit. Were you processing through

265
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some, some particular memories? Or is this just something that

266
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came over you? Like, did you have a memory that hurt in your

267
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head? Or was this just did this just come over you as you were

268
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sitting or reading or something?

269
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Yeah, no, it was, I was just reading, like, I wasn't

270
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ruminating on like, any specific thought or memory. And I think

271
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that's why I kind of struggled with it. I think if I had said,

272
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Hey, like I, if I were to, if I were able to correlate, I'm

273
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crying, or I'm breaking down, because I remember this memory

274
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that really hurt me, then I kind of feel more at peace,

275
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because I can tie it back to like, oh, this is why it's

276
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happening, versus not really having anything heavy or

277
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specific that I'm aware of happened. And that's kind of

278
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what I kind of experienced yesterday was there wasn't

279
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anything specific. It just kind of came. And then I was reading,

280
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I was reading week three, the chapters. And so in the middle

281
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of it, I just remember stopping, and just kind of

282
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praying, which, you know, coincidental or not, it was, I

283
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think, the chapter of, like unboxing or whatever, kind of

284
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the hard stuff. But there wasn't anything specific. And I think

285
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that's where I found the hardest.

286
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Like, where did this come from?

287
00:23:37.480 --> 00:23:41.000
Yeah, this is and then all of a sudden, as I'm like, actively

288
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going and processing these, I do remember having a couple of

289
00:23:44.840 --> 00:23:49.880
memories pop up. But they weren't like, you know, maybe

290
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I'm saying this now, but like, I didn't feel like those things

291
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were necessarily correlated, or, or at least the amount of grief

292
00:24:01.600 --> 00:24:04.600
that I was experiencing correlated to that one specific

293
00:24:04.600 --> 00:24:05.920
memory, if that makes sense.

294
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Right, right.

295
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I think that's a really cool Holy Spirit encounter. Honestly,

296
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I mean, it sounds it's exciting. Not to say I'm not a little

297
00:24:15.760 --> 00:24:19.320
jealous. That's really cool. So God's working.

298
00:24:20.640 --> 00:24:25.120
That's awesome. Well, let's guys, one of the things I wanted

299
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to do tonight, and like I said, I wish we had had more guys on

300
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here. But um, but we can go ahead and do this and guys can

301
00:24:31.800 --> 00:24:38.120
get in recording too. And we may even come back to it. But is

302
00:24:38.200 --> 00:24:41.960
dealing with, you know, these feelings and emotions. We've had

303
00:24:41.960 --> 00:24:48.040
several instances this last week. Jackie's had some coaching

304
00:24:48.080 --> 00:24:54.320
opportunities, and I've had some different encounters. Not

305
00:24:54.320 --> 00:24:57.440
anything one one thing or another, but just some this

306
00:24:57.440 --> 00:25:00.040
topic has come up. And that is the top

307
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:05.000
of emotions and feelings, and that's the thing,

308
00:25:07.760 --> 00:25:12.400
it's certainly an area that I think guys are,

309
00:25:15.440 --> 00:25:19.400
there's a lot of confusion in this area,

310
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especially for guys, I think.

311
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One of the things that Jackie was telling me,

312
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and she was actually telling, I think,

313
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three or four different clients this week,

314
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and they were all men, and she mentioned this,

315
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and that was that anger is probably the one emotion,

316
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not saying it's the only, but it's probably

317
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the one emotion that men, particularly,

318
00:25:47.660 --> 00:25:52.420
are most familiar with on a lot of different levels.

319
00:25:52.420 --> 00:25:56.340
It's kind of like, if you're frustrated, you get angry.

320
00:25:56.340 --> 00:25:58.700
If you're sad, you get angry.

321
00:25:58.700 --> 00:26:03.700
If something challenging happens to you, you get angry.

322
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It's just like, it's funny, because it's almost

323
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like a default, in a way, sometimes.

324
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Now, it's not that way every time,

325
00:26:09.780 --> 00:26:12.980
but I think it's just funny how there's a lot of men

326
00:26:15.060 --> 00:26:20.060
that process and go to the anger emotion,

327
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and there's obviously different levels

328
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of these emotions, right?

329
00:26:25.220 --> 00:26:27.620
You can get a little bit more descriptive with like,

330
00:26:27.620 --> 00:26:30.820
well, what kind of anger is it, or are you truly

331
00:26:30.820 --> 00:26:32.240
just enraged, anger?

332
00:26:32.240 --> 00:26:34.620
Well, no, no, I'm not really enraged, anger.

333
00:26:34.620 --> 00:26:39.620
I'm just frustrated, or I'm really serious and intense,

334
00:26:39.860 --> 00:26:43.700
or whatever it is, and I think the reason why that is

335
00:26:43.700 --> 00:26:48.700
is because for a lot of men growing up,

336
00:26:49.780 --> 00:26:53.580
anger or frustration or getting mad is about

337
00:26:53.580 --> 00:26:58.540
the only emotion that was allowed,

338
00:26:58.540 --> 00:27:01.980
in terms of what is manly, what is appropriate,

339
00:27:01.980 --> 00:27:06.900
what is tolerable, what is expected.

340
00:27:06.900 --> 00:27:11.180
When you go out onto the field of competition,

341
00:27:11.180 --> 00:27:14.620
what is one of the things that happens?

342
00:27:14.620 --> 00:27:17.220
Somebody gets aggressive, angry,

343
00:27:17.220 --> 00:27:21.780
so it's sort of a default, but quite honestly,

344
00:27:21.780 --> 00:27:24.620
there are a ton of other emotions

345
00:27:24.620 --> 00:27:27.660
that I think lots of times we fail to process

346
00:27:27.660 --> 00:27:32.220
because we oversimplify, I think, our feelings.

347
00:27:32.220 --> 00:27:33.900
Hey, Rob, thanks for joining us.

348
00:27:34.820 --> 00:27:37.880
You look like you're in a really crazy, cool place.

349
00:27:41.060 --> 00:27:42.700
You're muted still.

350
00:27:42.700 --> 00:27:45.540
Just a courtyard, nothing fancy.

351
00:27:45.540 --> 00:27:48.000
Courtyard Marriott Hotel.

352
00:27:48.000 --> 00:27:49.220
Oh, courtyard, oh.

353
00:27:49.220 --> 00:27:50.060
Yeah.

354
00:27:50.060 --> 00:27:52.820
Cool courtyard at Courtyard Marriott Hotel, got it.

355
00:27:52.820 --> 00:27:53.660
Yeah.

356
00:27:53.660 --> 00:27:55.180
Cool deal.

357
00:27:55.180 --> 00:27:57.340
So anyway, so what I wanted to do is

358
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I wanted to ask you guys to identify some emotions,

359
00:28:03.860 --> 00:28:06.460
some feelings, I want you to feel,

360
00:28:06.460 --> 00:28:11.460
I want you to identify as descriptively as possibly,

361
00:28:11.580 --> 00:28:16.340
like as unique of a word as you can

362
00:28:16.340 --> 00:28:19.420
to describe the emotion that you have right now

363
00:28:19.420 --> 00:28:22.880
in this moment on the phone, or on this call,

364
00:28:24.180 --> 00:28:26.200
depending on whether it's affected by this call,

365
00:28:26.200 --> 00:28:28.140
whether you came into this with this emotion,

366
00:28:28.140 --> 00:28:29.780
whatever, just like right now,

367
00:28:30.620 --> 00:28:32.720
what is your feeling, what is your emotion?

368
00:28:32.720 --> 00:28:36.240
Identify the emotion that you have right now

369
00:28:36.240 --> 00:28:38.140
while we're on this call,

370
00:28:38.140 --> 00:28:41.760
and I'll just give you a minute to sort of think about it,

371
00:28:41.760 --> 00:28:43.500
think of a good descriptive word.

372
00:28:50.420 --> 00:28:52.860
Anybody know right now off the top of their head

373
00:28:52.860 --> 00:28:55.340
what's a good word that they feel?

374
00:28:55.340 --> 00:28:57.380
I do, I got three emotions I'm feeling.

375
00:28:58.380 --> 00:29:02.580
Just to be all, I'm feeling content

376
00:29:02.580 --> 00:29:05.140
with a combination of, I think,

377
00:29:05.140 --> 00:29:07.880
maybe a little of anxiety because of tiredness.

378
00:29:09.060 --> 00:29:09.900
Okay.

379
00:29:11.100 --> 00:29:12.500
Let's not concentrate on why,

380
00:29:12.500 --> 00:29:14.060
let's just concentrate on what the emotion is,

381
00:29:14.060 --> 00:29:15.300
but thank you, yeah, that's good.

382
00:29:15.300 --> 00:29:16.560
Okay, content.

383
00:29:16.560 --> 00:29:19.380
So contentment and anxiety.

384
00:29:20.280 --> 00:29:21.120
Okay.

385
00:29:22.640 --> 00:29:25.080
And who else, anybody, a word?

386
00:29:31.040 --> 00:29:32.840
I'd say excitement.

387
00:29:35.240 --> 00:29:37.500
Excitement, okay.

388
00:29:41.320 --> 00:29:42.640
Joyful and grateful.

389
00:29:43.760 --> 00:29:45.580
Joyful and grateful, okay.

390
00:29:47.560 --> 00:29:48.400
Okay.

391
00:29:49.440 --> 00:29:51.080
Who else?

392
00:29:51.080 --> 00:29:53.240
Some frustration and a little bit of shame.

393
00:29:55.080 --> 00:29:57.240
Chris, frustration and shame, all right.

394
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:05.560
Shame and stuck.

395
00:30:05.560 --> 00:30:09.560
Shame and stuck, okay.

396
00:30:09.560 --> 00:30:11.960
Josh.

397
00:30:11.960 --> 00:30:14.600
At ease.

398
00:30:14.600 --> 00:30:18.600
At ease.

399
00:30:18.600 --> 00:30:21.680
Okay.

400
00:30:21.680 --> 00:30:28.920
And I'll do mine, I'm just, I gotta, I've been trying to, I've been working so hard

401
00:30:28.920 --> 00:30:35.160
to try to feel like what my emotion is.

402
00:30:35.160 --> 00:30:43.040
I feel I'm a little under pressure right now.

403
00:30:43.040 --> 00:30:47.720
So I don't know if that's quite an emotion, but I have the feeling of like, I've got a

404
00:30:47.720 --> 00:30:49.160
lot to do.

405
00:30:49.160 --> 00:30:51.340
So I don't know what word that describes that.

406
00:30:51.340 --> 00:30:55.800
So I'm probably not even doing this exercise myself very well, but I'm just trying to figure

407
00:30:55.800 --> 00:30:56.800
out.

408
00:30:56.800 --> 00:31:00.480
So I feel, I feel there's a lot of things going on.

409
00:31:00.480 --> 00:31:01.480
So pressured.

410
00:31:01.480 --> 00:31:07.440
David, when you feel that pressure, do you internalize that as a personally negative

411
00:31:07.440 --> 00:31:08.440
thing?

412
00:31:08.440 --> 00:31:15.320
Because I heard a really interesting lecture once just recently about the idea that stress

413
00:31:15.320 --> 00:31:19.640
is behind a negative quality, but in fact, it doesn't have to be, it becomes negative

414
00:31:19.640 --> 00:31:23.680
because you make it negative.

415
00:31:23.680 --> 00:31:29.240
Do you like internalize that as I'm feeling, or is that just external?

416
00:31:29.240 --> 00:31:32.720
Both.

417
00:31:32.720 --> 00:31:38.360
Not right now, both, but I have processed it both ways.

418
00:31:38.360 --> 00:31:48.600
So right now it's just an inordinately busy time and I've got a lot to do before a deadline.

419
00:31:48.600 --> 00:31:51.120
And it's not necessarily the deadline for the project.

420
00:31:51.120 --> 00:31:54.920
It's just that, you know, my daughter's getting married next week.

421
00:31:54.920 --> 00:31:58.360
I've got a bunch of people coming to the house and there's a lot of things that need to be

422
00:31:58.360 --> 00:32:00.360
done before that.

423
00:32:00.360 --> 00:32:05.600
But before the, the, the, the hub, what is it?

424
00:32:05.600 --> 00:32:10.440
The, the excitement of the wedding and all that for the week pre preceding the wedding,

425
00:32:10.440 --> 00:32:14.720
I have to get a bunch of stuff that I have to get done before that week.

426
00:32:14.720 --> 00:32:18.440
So I've got like, it's all piling up and it's all like coming like, oh, I've been anticipating

427
00:32:18.440 --> 00:32:19.680
this for a month now.

428
00:32:19.680 --> 00:32:22.240
And I'm like, okay, and I've been doing pretty good.

429
00:32:22.240 --> 00:32:23.760
And I think I'm on course.

430
00:32:23.760 --> 00:32:28.040
So, and I think I've gotten managed and I'm not completely overwhelmed.

431
00:32:28.040 --> 00:32:32.880
If I were completely overwhelmed, I would be feeling sort of like, oh my gosh, I'm failing.

432
00:32:32.880 --> 00:32:33.880
I'm not going to do this.

433
00:32:33.880 --> 00:32:38.080
And I, that now I see it, like I'm forecasting, I'm not going to get this done.

434
00:32:38.080 --> 00:32:40.160
So at least I have more time now.

435
00:32:40.160 --> 00:32:43.920
I feel like I can actually, actually accomplish it.

436
00:32:43.920 --> 00:32:48.800
But I am pressed for like, okay, I've got to execute, execute, execute.

437
00:32:48.800 --> 00:32:51.360
So that's kind of where I'm at.

438
00:32:51.360 --> 00:32:58.560
So I was shown this and you guys probably might have seen this before.

439
00:32:58.560 --> 00:33:02.520
Something that's called a feeling wheel and I'll share my screen here.

440
00:33:02.520 --> 00:33:04.720
Anybody ever seen what's called a feeling wheel?

441
00:33:04.720 --> 00:33:07.560
Yeah, Rob, I'm not surprised.

442
00:33:07.560 --> 00:33:10.600
And you've done a lot of work.

443
00:33:10.600 --> 00:33:14.840
But anybody, anybody else seen the feeling wheel before?

444
00:33:14.840 --> 00:33:17.600
There's several different versions of it and I'll share my screen to show you what this

445
00:33:17.600 --> 00:33:18.600
is.

446
00:33:19.400 --> 00:33:22.400
Josh has seen it.

447
00:33:22.400 --> 00:33:23.400
Okay, cool.

448
00:33:23.400 --> 00:33:29.200
Hey, when you're done sharing, I also want to share an app that I use.

449
00:33:29.200 --> 00:33:30.200
Yes, please.

450
00:33:30.200 --> 00:33:32.200
When you're done.

451
00:33:32.200 --> 00:33:33.520
Okay.

452
00:33:33.520 --> 00:33:46.240
So the feeling wheel is a graphic that shows, everybody see this on their screen?

453
00:33:46.240 --> 00:33:47.240
Everybody see it?

454
00:33:47.240 --> 00:33:48.240
Got it.

455
00:33:48.880 --> 00:33:51.880
I promise I won't leave this up like I did the umbrella thing a few weeks ago and just

456
00:33:51.880 --> 00:33:53.480
annoy the hell out of everybody.

457
00:33:53.480 --> 00:33:55.600
So try not to do that.

458
00:33:55.600 --> 00:34:02.280
The feeling wheel though, this, what this does is it helps us to sort of identify emotions

459
00:34:02.280 --> 00:34:08.040
and kind of where they're categorized and kind of how they relate to each other.

460
00:34:08.040 --> 00:34:15.000
And then begin to give us some more language instead of just like simple, like, I'm mad,

461
00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:16.960
you know, or I'm this or that.

462
00:34:17.560 --> 00:34:24.840
To try to descriptively come to a better understanding of what it is we're actually feeling.

463
00:34:24.840 --> 00:34:31.040
And then the next step would be to, after you have identified what emotion you're having

464
00:34:31.040 --> 00:34:35.760
and feelings that you're having, try to connect that with something that's going on in your

465
00:34:35.760 --> 00:34:42.080
life or connect that with a habit or behavior or something that, you know, right now that

466
00:34:42.080 --> 00:34:47.360
you're trying to either like, that you don't know that needs to be worked on or something

467
00:34:47.360 --> 00:34:53.080
that needs to like in heart work, we're typically not dealing with traumatic events right now,

468
00:34:53.080 --> 00:34:57.200
even though they might, you might be going through something personally during heart

469
00:34:57.200 --> 00:34:59.800
work, but we're trying to identify.

470
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:08.320
trauma points in the past, really more so, to try to connect pain points to that,

471
00:35:09.200 --> 00:35:13.680
understand what happened, and then process that with Holy Spirit's help, and then release it

472
00:35:13.680 --> 00:35:19.680
through the process of forgiveness, all right? But this just helps us to understand some of

473
00:35:19.680 --> 00:35:25.040
the relationship. The top half of the circle are typically negative emotions,

474
00:35:25.920 --> 00:35:31.120
and the bottom half of the circle are typically associated with positive emotions,

475
00:35:32.400 --> 00:35:39.520
and what's interesting, though, is that sometimes we can have emotions, sometimes we think, oh,

476
00:35:39.520 --> 00:35:44.080
I'm having a good day, or I'm having a bad day, right? I'm having a good emotion, or I'm having

477
00:35:44.080 --> 00:35:50.000
a bad emotion, right? And so we don't understand sometimes, though, that we can actually have

478
00:35:50.000 --> 00:35:55.520
good emotions and bad emotions at the same time. I think what's kind of interesting,

479
00:35:55.520 --> 00:36:01.760
the very first person that said what their emotion was, is contentment and anxiety,

480
00:36:02.400 --> 00:36:06.640
and I was like, oh, that's kind of weird. How can you be content and anxious at the same time?

481
00:36:06.640 --> 00:36:10.160
That doesn't seem like it goes together. It doesn't seem like it's going to be impossible,

482
00:36:10.720 --> 00:36:17.280
but yet here's Ryan, who's, I don't know, somehow we lost Ryan, but Ryan was like, I'm content,

483
00:36:18.240 --> 00:36:24.640
but I also feel anxious, and so if you look on the chart there, you see anxious,

484
00:36:24.640 --> 00:36:30.960
you find the word anxious, and it is in sort of the, it's in the middle circle,

485
00:36:31.760 --> 00:36:42.960
so the way this is arranged is the outside circle are emotions that are less intense.

486
00:36:43.840 --> 00:36:51.280
The middle is intense, and the inner circle is the most intense of these versions of these

487
00:36:51.280 --> 00:36:59.840
emotions. Make sense? And so anxiousness is right in the middle there, and so it's an intense

488
00:36:59.840 --> 00:37:07.440
emotion. It's not less intense. It's not super over intense, but it is related to being scared.

489
00:37:08.160 --> 00:37:15.520
It's related to insecurity, and you can see all the other words that are associated in this

490
00:37:15.520 --> 00:37:23.120
category of emotion, and then can somebody, let's see if contentment is on here anywhere,

491
00:37:23.120 --> 00:37:28.000
something that's like it. Yeah, content actually is on there. It's on the exact opposite side

492
00:37:28.880 --> 00:37:35.280
in the peaceful category, so it's very odd that someone could feel

493
00:37:36.320 --> 00:37:40.800
peaceful and scared at the same time, right?

494
00:37:44.000 --> 00:37:48.480
So it just shows you the relationship, and I think when Ryan was saying that, you know,

495
00:37:49.120 --> 00:37:52.480
he felt like the reason he was feeling anxious because it was maybe lack of sleep,

496
00:37:53.200 --> 00:37:58.080
and I don't know whether that's just a, I just feel irritable because of lack of sleep,

497
00:37:59.120 --> 00:38:08.080
or I am anxious because I have a sleep issue sometimes, and sometimes if I don't get sleep,

498
00:38:08.080 --> 00:38:12.640
I might be scared that I might not continue to get sleep. I know that's a bigger problem,

499
00:38:12.640 --> 00:38:18.160
but I've known people like that who struggle with sleep, and they're like, oh, I had a restless

500
00:38:18.160 --> 00:38:22.960
night last night. Most people would like, oh, it's no big deal. I'll just sleep tonight,

501
00:38:22.960 --> 00:38:28.560
or I'll just take a nap or whatever, but some people have an anxiousness that's attached to

502
00:38:28.560 --> 00:38:34.800
that because they have sleep issues, and they've gone through maybe a season of time where it was

503
00:38:34.800 --> 00:38:44.240
sleeplessness, and then they're scared that just one night of a bad, really restless night may be

504
00:38:44.240 --> 00:38:50.240
the first night of a long series of restless nights for whatever reason, and so that can,

505
00:38:50.880 --> 00:38:58.400
you know, drudge up its own level of anxiousness and go through that situation. So anyway,

506
00:38:58.400 --> 00:39:04.080
you can see all the associations that we're dealing with. So anybody seeing anything on

507
00:39:04.080 --> 00:39:08.880
this chart that sort of pops out to them or makes sense to them in terms of like, oh, I wondered

508
00:39:09.520 --> 00:39:16.000
where this would kind of, my emotion would kind of lie, or do you want to describe your emotion

509
00:39:16.000 --> 00:39:32.000
a little bit more now that you've seen this chart? Anybody? Nobody. I mean, I could share

510
00:39:32.000 --> 00:39:38.240
just a little. I mean, I think for me, I don't know, I like the description. Yeah, it's kind of

511
00:39:38.240 --> 00:39:43.120
fun seeing the contentment with the anxiousness on the exact opposite, but it's just like, oh,

512
00:39:43.120 --> 00:39:48.720
I am fully content, you know, and relax, that peaceful, but there's also, and mine was more

513
00:39:48.720 --> 00:39:52.560
like the tiredness was in sleep, but it was also like having multiple things to do,

514
00:39:53.200 --> 00:39:57.040
that there's the anxiousness because I have another meds group I leave right after this.

515
00:39:57.040 --> 00:39:59.840
So it's just like, all right, just like I'm peaceful.

516
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.160
but yet at the same time, oh, I got stuff to do.

517
00:40:03.160 --> 00:40:04.280
But it's like.

518
00:40:04.280 --> 00:40:05.120
Okay.

519
00:40:06.840 --> 00:40:07.680
I get it.

520
00:40:09.040 --> 00:40:09.960
Anybody else?

521
00:40:15.600 --> 00:40:19.360
Anybody surprised to see that the emotion

522
00:40:19.360 --> 00:40:22.640
that they declared when we were going through everybody,

523
00:40:24.040 --> 00:40:26.080
what other emotions that it's connected to?

524
00:40:26.080 --> 00:40:27.280
Anybody surprised?

525
00:40:31.000 --> 00:40:33.160
Yeah, ashamed and stupid.

526
00:40:33.160 --> 00:40:37.280
It was surprising, but it makes sense.

527
00:40:38.400 --> 00:40:41.040
Does ashamed, does it surprise you that shame

528
00:40:41.040 --> 00:40:44.240
or being ashamed is connected with sadness?

529
00:40:44.240 --> 00:40:45.080
Sadness.

530
00:40:59.240 --> 00:41:00.440
I don't see that.

531
00:41:01.960 --> 00:41:05.680
Ashamed is right next to sad.

532
00:41:07.160 --> 00:41:08.800
Oh, okay.

533
00:41:08.800 --> 00:41:10.880
I was like in the other direction.

534
00:41:10.880 --> 00:41:11.720
Yeah.

535
00:41:11.720 --> 00:41:13.280
Oh, you were saying like, you were looking out like,

536
00:41:13.280 --> 00:41:14.600
yeah, okay.

537
00:41:14.600 --> 00:41:15.440
Oh, I see.

538
00:41:15.440 --> 00:41:17.160
No, that makes sense.

539
00:41:17.160 --> 00:41:18.000
Okay.

540
00:41:20.840 --> 00:41:24.480
Frustration, Chris was talking about being frustrated

541
00:41:24.480 --> 00:41:28.400
and shame, so he said some shame.

542
00:41:29.320 --> 00:41:34.320
Trying to figure out where frustration is on the mad side

543
00:41:35.920 --> 00:41:39.600
and a little bit of shame is on the sad side.

544
00:41:39.600 --> 00:41:42.400
So it's interesting that frustration

545
00:41:42.400 --> 00:41:45.600
is sort of the gateway or entryway to anger

546
00:41:45.600 --> 00:41:50.480
and anger into like being completely mad.

547
00:41:50.480 --> 00:41:53.680
And I don't know if that's the English word

548
00:41:53.680 --> 00:41:56.640
of like definition of like, oh, oh brother,

549
00:41:56.640 --> 00:41:58.680
yeah, completely mad.

550
00:41:58.680 --> 00:42:02.560
Like crazy, like psycho, like almost, you know.

551
00:42:03.400 --> 00:42:05.240
Like inside out too.

552
00:42:05.240 --> 00:42:06.320
Huh?

553
00:42:06.320 --> 00:42:08.040
Inside out too.

554
00:42:08.040 --> 00:42:08.920
Oh yeah.

555
00:42:08.920 --> 00:42:10.000
I've not seen that movie yet.

556
00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:11.200
So we're about to see that.

557
00:42:11.200 --> 00:42:13.520
I think probably sometime in the near future.

558
00:42:15.120 --> 00:42:17.680
So good for this David, so good.

559
00:42:17.680 --> 00:42:20.400
I wanted to connect you to this chart

560
00:42:20.400 --> 00:42:22.840
because I think maybe sometimes

561
00:42:22.840 --> 00:42:24.920
it could help you process some things.

562
00:42:26.640 --> 00:42:28.840
I don't have the overlay,

563
00:42:28.840 --> 00:42:32.560
but one thing I just wanna make in terms of a comparison

564
00:42:33.680 --> 00:42:38.680
to sort of a scriptural or a biblical version of this

565
00:42:39.200 --> 00:42:40.560
that's similar.

566
00:42:40.560 --> 00:42:43.960
It's not emotions, but it's fruits of the spirit

567
00:42:43.960 --> 00:42:46.160
and works of the flesh.

568
00:42:46.160 --> 00:42:48.400
I don't know if you've ever taken the time to study this,

569
00:42:48.400 --> 00:42:49.960
but there's a direct correlation

570
00:42:49.960 --> 00:42:54.080
between fruits of the spirit and works of the flesh.

571
00:42:54.080 --> 00:42:58.760
There are correlations between how habits and behaviors

572
00:42:58.760 --> 00:43:01.000
precipitate into works of the flesh

573
00:43:01.000 --> 00:43:03.240
and study what those are

574
00:43:03.240 --> 00:43:05.920
versus exhibiting fruits of the spirit.

575
00:43:05.920 --> 00:43:08.840
We talk about in heart work in our community a lot

576
00:43:08.880 --> 00:43:13.320
that we are not to be gift inspectors,

577
00:43:13.320 --> 00:43:16.080
but we are to be fruit inspectors.

578
00:43:16.080 --> 00:43:18.120
So when we're looking at people like,

579
00:43:21.040 --> 00:43:22.800
this person has these things

580
00:43:22.800 --> 00:43:25.000
and they have these qualities and so forth

581
00:43:25.000 --> 00:43:26.040
and they do these things,

582
00:43:26.040 --> 00:43:28.680
but they're all associated with who they are

583
00:43:28.680 --> 00:43:30.600
and what they do for like a living

584
00:43:30.600 --> 00:43:32.640
or the skill set that they have

585
00:43:32.640 --> 00:43:36.400
and the things that they can quote bring to the table,

586
00:43:36.400 --> 00:43:38.760
or the things that you look at.

587
00:43:38.760 --> 00:43:41.400
Like lots of times women do this with men

588
00:43:41.400 --> 00:43:42.680
in their church affiliation.

589
00:43:42.680 --> 00:43:43.760
Oh, he's a good man.

590
00:43:43.760 --> 00:43:45.000
He goes to church.

591
00:43:45.000 --> 00:43:46.520
He raises his hand in church.

592
00:43:46.520 --> 00:43:48.040
He even sings a little bit.

593
00:43:48.040 --> 00:43:50.000
So he's like going through the rudiments

594
00:43:50.000 --> 00:43:52.200
of looking like he's like a real deep,

595
00:43:52.200 --> 00:43:54.560
spiritual, good guy, right?

596
00:43:54.560 --> 00:43:58.280
But we've often found, it's not always the case,

597
00:43:58.280 --> 00:43:59.440
but we found this a lot.

598
00:43:59.440 --> 00:44:01.440
It's a very common behavior

599
00:44:01.440 --> 00:44:04.160
where there's a lot of guys especially

600
00:44:04.160 --> 00:44:07.040
that are in church that look the part,

601
00:44:07.040 --> 00:44:08.880
but don't actually have the fruit.

602
00:44:09.960 --> 00:44:12.760
There's a lot of even, I dare I say,

603
00:44:12.760 --> 00:44:15.160
this is kind of getting into controversial topics,

604
00:44:15.160 --> 00:44:18.720
but there's a lot of even Christian people

605
00:44:18.720 --> 00:44:21.280
and Christian leaders, if you will,

606
00:44:21.280 --> 00:44:23.560
that have a lot of things that they can tell

607
00:44:23.560 --> 00:44:28.560
in terms of their abilities, their gifts, their skill set,

608
00:44:29.080 --> 00:44:32.680
but they lack the character, they lack the fruit of it.

609
00:44:32.680 --> 00:44:34.800
And scripture teaches us

610
00:44:34.800 --> 00:44:37.080
that we should be looking at fruit.

611
00:44:37.080 --> 00:44:41.400
We should be inspectors of fruit, not inspectors of gifts.

612
00:44:41.400 --> 00:44:45.120
Gifts are something that are given to us.

613
00:44:45.120 --> 00:44:47.000
We decide what to do with those gifts,

614
00:44:47.000 --> 00:44:50.080
but the fruit is the stuff that remains.

615
00:44:50.080 --> 00:44:51.840
Does that make sense?

616
00:44:51.840 --> 00:44:54.360
So it's really interesting that you can look at,

617
00:44:54.360 --> 00:44:56.720
you can do this sort of similar study

618
00:44:56.720 --> 00:44:58.760
and comparing fruits of the spirit

619
00:44:58.760 --> 00:45:00.160
versus works of the flesh.

620
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.880
And there's even a Christian counselor that's from Alaska

621
00:45:04.880 --> 00:45:09.880
that he's done Christian counseling with individuals

622
00:45:11.720 --> 00:45:15.880
and processing them through fruits of the spirit

623
00:45:15.880 --> 00:45:18.000
and works of the flesh,

624
00:45:18.000 --> 00:45:20.880
and has identified literal disease,

625
00:45:20.880 --> 00:45:24.960
almost every disease associated directly

626
00:45:24.960 --> 00:45:29.960
with certain fruits of the spirit and works of the flesh.

627
00:45:29.960 --> 00:45:33.320
So where you would manifest a fruit of the spirit

628
00:45:33.320 --> 00:45:35.520
that would overcome and bring healing

629
00:45:35.520 --> 00:45:38.920
in direct correlation against a disease

630
00:45:38.920 --> 00:45:42.260
that was tied to a work of the flesh.

631
00:45:42.260 --> 00:45:44.480
And he actually has statistics.

632
00:45:44.480 --> 00:45:47.440
He says, in the number of instances

633
00:45:47.440 --> 00:45:48.800
where somebody has come to me and says,

634
00:45:48.800 --> 00:45:52.400
I have this condition, or I have this disease,

635
00:45:52.400 --> 00:45:56.560
I literally process them through the program

636
00:45:56.560 --> 00:45:59.320
and I walk them through deliverance prayers

637
00:45:59.320 --> 00:46:00.760
and deliverance counseling,

638
00:46:00.760 --> 00:46:03.440
and we manifest the fruits of the spirit

639
00:46:03.440 --> 00:46:06.320
in direct opposition and correlation to,

640
00:46:06.320 --> 00:46:08.920
he says, in the number of instances

641
00:46:08.920 --> 00:46:12.320
where this disease is present,

642
00:46:12.320 --> 00:46:17.320
he knows that this work of the flesh is the basis of it.

643
00:46:17.640 --> 00:46:19.920
So they deal with that work of the flesh,

644
00:46:19.920 --> 00:46:22.040
and so many, and he has statistics,

645
00:46:22.040 --> 00:46:25.400
that 78% of the time people get healed

646
00:46:25.400 --> 00:46:28.740
when we work through that methodology.

647
00:46:28.740 --> 00:46:31.680
And it's amazing, it's fascinating.

648
00:46:31.680 --> 00:46:36.680
So interesting stuff if you want to continue to study that.

649
00:46:36.860 --> 00:46:38.900
And again, I'm not an expert in any of this,

650
00:46:38.900 --> 00:46:40.380
but I'm just trying to share this with you

651
00:46:40.380 --> 00:46:43.060
as a resource to kind of process some things.

652
00:46:43.060 --> 00:46:45.340
So if you want to download the Feeling Wheel,

653
00:46:45.340 --> 00:46:48.160
it's very easy, you can find it on the internet.

654
00:46:48.160 --> 00:46:51.040
This one's from the Gottman Institute,

655
00:46:51.040 --> 00:46:54.060
and thought it would just kind of share that with you

656
00:46:54.060 --> 00:46:59.060
to help you, as men, process through some of your emotions

657
00:46:59.220 --> 00:47:01.220
to the point where you can just,

658
00:47:01.220 --> 00:47:04.540
not just like, I'm just angry, I'm just mad, I'm just angry.

659
00:47:04.540 --> 00:47:07.620
Like, okay, let's get a little bit more specific about that.

660
00:47:07.620 --> 00:47:10.900
Like, what are you angry, you know, are you jealous?

661
00:47:10.900 --> 00:47:11.900
Are you skeptical?

662
00:47:11.900 --> 00:47:13.260
Are you irritated?

663
00:47:13.260 --> 00:47:15.940
You know, well, no, I'm really anxious.

664
00:47:15.940 --> 00:47:18.100
Oh, well, that's not actually anger and mad,

665
00:47:18.100 --> 00:47:20.820
that's actually a form of being scared.

666
00:47:20.820 --> 00:47:21.700
You know what I'm saying?

667
00:47:21.700 --> 00:47:23.460
So they're like, oh, wait a minute, like scared?

668
00:47:23.460 --> 00:47:24.300
What do you mean?

669
00:47:24.300 --> 00:47:25.120
I'm not scared.

670
00:47:25.120 --> 00:47:26.820
Well, yeah, you just said you were anxious.

671
00:47:26.820 --> 00:47:29.420
Oh, that's a form of being scared.

672
00:47:29.420 --> 00:47:31.180
Oh, whoa, wait a minute, I didn't know that.

673
00:47:31.180 --> 00:47:33.820
I thought that was like, I don't know,

674
00:47:33.820 --> 00:47:35.380
whatever, something else.

675
00:47:35.380 --> 00:47:36.860
So this kind of helps you to process

676
00:47:36.860 --> 00:47:39.140
and maybe make some connection points

677
00:47:39.140 --> 00:47:41.460
to the emotions that you're feeling

678
00:47:41.460 --> 00:47:45.880
and the circumstances that you want to start addressing.

679
00:47:45.880 --> 00:47:46.720
All right?

680
00:47:49.700 --> 00:47:52.660
Go ahead and share there, Rob, what you wanted to share,

681
00:47:52.660 --> 00:47:54.260
because I'm interested to know

682
00:47:55.300 --> 00:47:56.980
a resource that you have for us.

683
00:47:59.260 --> 00:48:02.620
Sure, thanks for, I've used the feelings wheel,

684
00:48:02.620 --> 00:48:05.700
but I haven't looked at the interplay between them.

685
00:48:05.700 --> 00:48:09.340
So that was a really helpful conversation

686
00:48:10.420 --> 00:48:11.660
to think more about.

687
00:48:13.460 --> 00:48:16.820
So real quick, last week I shared with you

688
00:48:16.820 --> 00:48:19.720
that emotional maturity has been a big part of my journey.

689
00:48:20.720 --> 00:48:22.680
And I feel like I had a lot of catching up to do

690
00:48:22.680 --> 00:48:24.440
in the last five or six years.

691
00:48:24.440 --> 00:48:29.320
So I was having a really hard time last September

692
00:48:29.320 --> 00:48:32.960
and I was at a conference with a friend who said,

693
00:48:32.960 --> 00:48:37.360
hey, have you tried the How We Feel app?

694
00:48:37.360 --> 00:48:38.280
Never heard of it.

695
00:48:38.280 --> 00:48:41.520
So long and short of it is I downloaded it.

696
00:48:41.520 --> 00:48:43.960
It's still beneficial for me today.

697
00:48:43.960 --> 00:48:46.600
I don't know if this is helpful to even show on the screen,

698
00:48:46.600 --> 00:48:47.760
but I'm going to try it.

699
00:48:48.360 --> 00:48:50.640
Okay, let me stop sharing.

700
00:48:51.800 --> 00:48:53.360
Oh, no, I'm just showing on my screen.

701
00:48:53.360 --> 00:48:55.760
Oh, okay, you guys, yeah, got it.

702
00:48:55.760 --> 00:48:59.000
So four categories, and they're ranked

703
00:48:59.000 --> 00:49:02.600
by high unpleasant energy, high pleasant energy,

704
00:49:02.600 --> 00:49:05.560
low unpleasant, low pleasant.

705
00:49:05.560 --> 00:49:07.240
So if I just click on red,

706
00:49:07.240 --> 00:49:09.920
and I was stuck in an airport today with a delay,

707
00:49:09.920 --> 00:49:13.180
and so I went to red, which was high unpleasant,

708
00:49:13.180 --> 00:49:16.520
and I picked the word peeved.

709
00:49:16.520 --> 00:49:21.400
But if you see, you've got all these little red words,

710
00:49:21.400 --> 00:49:25.960
emotions, very specific, back to David's point,

711
00:49:25.960 --> 00:49:28.000
that allow you to just pick a word,

712
00:49:28.000 --> 00:49:30.760
it's like, oh, that's kind of what I'm feeling.

713
00:49:30.760 --> 00:49:34.200
It gives you a quick space to do a quick diary,

714
00:49:34.200 --> 00:49:38.160
and then you hit enter, and then what the app does,

715
00:49:38.160 --> 00:49:41.480
it's free, by the way, it actually tracks that,

716
00:49:41.480 --> 00:49:44.680
so you can go back over the course of a week or a month

717
00:49:44.680 --> 00:49:45.860
and say, what are the patterns?

718
00:49:46.020 --> 00:49:47.460
These colors start to pop, right?

719
00:49:47.460 --> 00:49:50.500
Green, and you get to say, oh, gosh,

720
00:49:50.500 --> 00:49:53.540
every Monday I show up as, or I feel.

721
00:49:55.720 --> 00:49:58.620
Super helpful for me, if it's helpful for you guys, great.

722
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:06.320
up to remind me twice a day. So it alerts me twice a day to check in. Um, so whatever I'm

723
00:50:06.320 --> 00:50:09.840
doing in the moment, I try to just pause and say, yeah, what checking with myself first,

724
00:50:09.840 --> 00:50:15.680
what am I feeling? And then, uh, and then just try to, all that for me is designed to just

725
00:50:15.680 --> 00:50:20.960
increase my emotional maturity and self-awareness. So if it's helpful for you, great, uh, free,

726
00:50:20.960 --> 00:50:27.440
it's called how we feel. I love that. Yeah. That's pretty awesome. I can see how that would

727
00:50:27.440 --> 00:50:38.160
be very beneficial. Um, I think the reason this topic came up is because, um, I think men,

728
00:50:38.160 --> 00:50:45.680
especially, um, are just, we're just not, I don't want to say we're not sophisticated. I'm just

729
00:50:45.680 --> 00:50:50.080
saying we're just, we're just not in the habit and put it that way. So not in the habit of really

730
00:50:50.080 --> 00:50:56.160
taking the inventory of our emotions in that way. And then trying to correlate things to our

731
00:50:56.160 --> 00:51:03.280
behavior. And, um, but the honest thing is, is that we feel all these emotions,

732
00:51:04.480 --> 00:51:09.680
you know, I'm saying we feel all of the, the whole wheel, you know, we feel that we feel the

733
00:51:09.680 --> 00:51:16.400
entire spectrum of emotion. We just don't process it and don't identify it with what's going on in

734
00:51:16.400 --> 00:51:23.760
our life. And these are the things that, um, like women like overdue in spades, right? So it's like,

735
00:51:23.760 --> 00:51:28.160
we, it's like, we're better together because it helps us to balance. But these are the things

736
00:51:28.160 --> 00:51:32.960
that like, you know, women are looking for in men to be like more connected with their emotions.

737
00:51:33.600 --> 00:51:41.120
And so if you're doing this inventory and you're connecting, um, with certain patterns in your life,

738
00:51:41.120 --> 00:51:45.920
then you can probably actually start addressing some of the things that you're frustrated with,

739
00:51:45.920 --> 00:51:52.080
because you're like, then it becomes more of a, like, oh, I can actually do something about this

740
00:51:52.080 --> 00:51:58.080
rather than just like, I'm just feeling all kind of whatever. And I don't know why, like, that's

741
00:51:58.080 --> 00:52:06.480
just like, that's like the worst. Right. So, um, and then it just escalates. So like we manage it

742
00:52:06.480 --> 00:52:11.920
for, you know, a time, like Carlos was saying, he's a firefighter and a medic. And he's just

743
00:52:11.920 --> 00:52:15.360
like, yeah, I don't got time for that. So I packed that away for another day. And so that's what we

744
00:52:15.360 --> 00:52:20.720
do day after day after day, especially as men, lots of times, because we're taking care of

745
00:52:20.720 --> 00:52:24.800
business, we're taking care of this. We got to do that. We got a long list of things we got to

746
00:52:24.800 --> 00:52:29.840
accomplish and do, and we just don't have time for the emotion. But I think this might be a

747
00:52:29.840 --> 00:52:34.480
helpful way for us to be able to use some of these tools to really take an inventory

748
00:52:35.760 --> 00:52:39.520
of our emotions and a history. And it sounds like it's really simple with that app. That's

749
00:52:39.520 --> 00:52:45.120
really cool. Thank you for sharing that, Rob. And then being able to, to connect

750
00:52:46.000 --> 00:52:52.960
certain date parts or certain times or certain trends in behavior and analyze like, oh, why do

751
00:52:52.960 --> 00:52:57.840
I, like you said, like, why do I show up on Mondays angry? You know, what's happening on Sunday night

752
00:52:57.840 --> 00:53:02.000
or what's happening Monday morning? Is it just because it's Monday morning or what's happening

753
00:53:02.000 --> 00:53:08.160
or did I, do I always encounter this person, you know, the day before, because of your habit of

754
00:53:08.160 --> 00:53:13.360
what you do on Sundays and that's creating this, you know, this problem area. So that can be very,

755
00:53:13.360 --> 00:53:19.600
very helpful. And I can see that that's really cool. So maybe we take an opportunity to download

756
00:53:19.600 --> 00:53:24.160
the app and work with it for a week and see what happens. We can talk about it next time.

757
00:53:25.840 --> 00:53:32.640
But thank you for sharing that. And I think what we need to do too, is just at the very least,

758
00:53:33.840 --> 00:53:40.720
start paying attention to our emotions. Start paying attention to when things happen.

759
00:53:40.720 --> 00:53:45.120
I love the fact that Carlos started off with tonight was he having the breakthrough

760
00:53:46.000 --> 00:53:51.280
in his heart work. And the most thing that stood out to me was that it came to him.

761
00:53:52.160 --> 00:53:56.240
It wasn't like he was trying to uncover. He's like, look, I was just minding my own business.

762
00:53:56.240 --> 00:54:00.000
I was just trying to read. I was just trying to do the work. You know, I was just trying to be a

763
00:54:00.000 --> 00:54:04.720
good guy and read this book that I'm supposed to read. And all of a sudden I get hit with this

764
00:54:04.720 --> 00:54:09.600
flood of emotion. I'm like, oh, okay, that's cool. Because that's kind of the way it's supposed to

765
00:54:09.600 --> 00:54:14.960
happen. Or that's kind of like the way we've seen this process work out, is as it comes to you.

766
00:54:14.960 --> 00:54:24.320
So as emotions and things come to you, let's just practice being aware of those and practice

767
00:54:24.320 --> 00:54:29.440
taking a little bit of an inventory. And maybe we can make some connections along the way to do that.

768
00:54:30.720 --> 00:54:31.520
Sound good, guys?

769
00:54:32.000 --> 00:54:38.880
Amen. We lost somebody, but we'll just pray out and continue on and just bless

770
00:54:40.400 --> 00:54:44.960
you guys for a better week. Father God, we do thank you, Lord, for this time together.

771
00:54:44.960 --> 00:54:48.960
Thank you, Lord, for these men. We thank you, Lord, for Carlos's breakthrough. Thank you,

772
00:54:48.960 --> 00:54:54.960
Lord, the sharing with that. Thank you, Lord, for all the guys that shared their thoughts,

773
00:54:54.960 --> 00:55:00.480
their feelings, their insights, their thoughts, their thoughts, their thoughts,

774
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.680
Securities their their secrets even and we just bless that lord. We bless the fact that

775
00:55:06.480 --> 00:55:09.280
You've given us a community and a space

776
00:55:09.920 --> 00:55:11.920
to be able to just um

777
00:55:12.560 --> 00:55:17.200
Be with one another share with one another be transparent and be open

778
00:55:17.920 --> 00:55:19.360
and honest

779
00:55:19.360 --> 00:55:21.840
And we thank you for what you're doing in each one of our lives

780
00:55:22.160 --> 00:55:26.000
Because I know that you have a plan for us. I know that you have great things for each one of us

781
00:55:27.040 --> 00:55:28.160
and

782
00:55:28.160 --> 00:55:33.520
Lord break us through break us through to the next level so that we just don't uh stagnant and we don't uh,

783
00:55:33.920 --> 00:55:36.560
Just stay where we're at. We thank you lord for change

784
00:55:37.200 --> 00:55:40.720
We thank you for the change of holy spirit in jesus name

785
00:55:41.600 --> 00:55:43.600
Amen, and amen

786
00:55:45.520 --> 00:55:48.000
All right guys god bless have a great week

787
00:55:49.680 --> 00:55:51.680
Thanks for sharing everybody

788
00:55:52.160 --> 00:55:54.160
Thanks