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Hello, welcome.

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How is everyone?

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Good to see you all.

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Just as a reminder, it's great to see you when I can see you.

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For those of you that can turn your cameras on,

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we love for you to come out of hiding

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and come into connection and community.

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And it's just really good to see you all in coaching,

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while the ladies, while y'all are talking to each other,

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all the things.

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So I want to encourage you to do that.

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If you've never met me before, my name's Bethany Cooper.

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I'm one of the coaches in the Heartwork Group.

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Who is new here tonight?

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Is anyone here for the first time?

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You've never been here before.

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Anyone new?

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It's okay.

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Oh, do I see, is K110, what's your name?

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What's your first name?

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Oh, I can't hear you, sweetie.

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You gotta unmute.

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If you hover, it's okay.

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If you hover over the bottom of your screen,

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if you hover over the bottom of your screen,

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it'll have like a mute button, a microphone thing,

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or your video little area.

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If you click the mute button, it'll unmute you.

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And just so y'all know, when you go on Zoom,

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quick little lesson for you.

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If you hover over your photo,

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there's three dots that appear.

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If you click on that, at the bottom,

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it'll say rename towards the bottom.

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You can just create whatever name you want

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when you come on to Zoom sessions.

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So that way, if you have one for work,

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you can always change it temporarily for like our sessions

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or even later one day when you're doing video dating

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and all that kind of fun stuff.

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So just a little tidbit for you.

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So again, welcome.

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If you're joining us the first time,

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you can put it in the chat as well.

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Just FYI, you can do it that way.

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Wanna remind you all, best practice.

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What I mean by that is content-wise.

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One week of content per week.

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That's our recommendation.

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If you go a little slower, that's fine.

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We definitely do not want you going faster, okay?

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So out of love for you all, if anyone,

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when you all say you're finished,

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we're gonna go in and look at the date

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of when you started, okay?

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And the reason we do that is because we don't want you

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to move to the next thing

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if you literally have only just begun, okay?

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So if you just started a week ago,

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please don't say I'm finished.

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Please don't do that.

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Because y'all, there's no way,

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the healing work that needs to happen here,

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there's no way it can happen in one week.

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There's just so much that God wants to help you unpack

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more than what you realize.

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And we really wanna encourage you.

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The reason you're here in the heart work

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is because something wasn't working before.

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And God led you here to get healing and breakthrough.

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So we want you to take full advantage of it, okay?

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Five weeks.

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One week of content per week.

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Again, if it takes you a little longer, that's fine.

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But we definitely don't want you binge watching the videos

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or binging on the book.

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We build the course in progression, okay?

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So, we're gonna give you five minutes

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to get ready to help you unpack

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and to give your heart the room and the space that it needs.

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Some of y'all have had massive trauma

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that has even some of you don't even remember it's in there.

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It's stuffed so far down that your heart needs,

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it needs weeks to know that it's safe

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so that you know that you can open up and share.

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So please, please don't rush this process, okay?

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We want you to progress over perfection.

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So for those of you that are struggling

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or life distractions came up,

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wanna encourage you just to keep moving forward, okay?

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Instead of quitting or kind of isolating

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and totally stopping, just take one day at a time,

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one step at a time, just keep moving forward.

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And also just wanna help you all.

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When you come on the sessions,

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it doesn't matter what week you're on, okay?

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Even if you're on week one,

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if I talk about content in week five, it's okay.

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It's time to kind of relax and just know it doesn't matter.

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And you can come on any week

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and I'm gonna be coaching from different things.

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So this week I've picked content

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just that's not necessarily in your book per se.

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I mean, it is, but it's not in a lesson

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that you're going through.

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So we're just gonna be talking about some concepts

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and breaking it down and helping you all impact stuff

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that you're learning in the course content

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and to help you break free.

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Cause some of y'all don't even recognize some of the things

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until we start breaking it down in sessions, right?

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Okay, so two other little mini things

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and then we'll pray and get started.

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Jesus Cares Board, how many people?

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Can I see, you can do your digital hand

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or your physical hand.

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Who has done a Jesus Cares Board?

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Show me who's done one.

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It's okay if you're brand new or you haven't done it yet,

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but I just wanna kind of get a feel for how many people.

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Okay, we have a decent amount.

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This is good.

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Okay, if you have, you can go ahead and put your hands down.

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I think that kind of gives me

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at least a little bit of an idea.

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All right, let's see, 31 people here tonight.

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So about a little over half of y'all have done

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the Jesus Cares Board.

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I want.

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encourage you, if you haven't done it, the enemy will give you every reason to not do it. Even the

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Jesus Cares Board. He'll give you all the reasons. It has to be creative. It has to be perfect. You

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have to know every care and worry to get it started. I want to encourage you just to get

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started. Y'all, literally, you can start with a couple posted notes, stick it up on your wall

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and get started. Because as soon as you start casting those cares on Jesus, He's going to come

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in and start supernaturally working in those. So I want to encourage you, don't keep waiting

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and move forward with that. This Thursday, we have a special session. It was not on your calendars.

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We started announcing it last week, Thursday night, August 8th at 8 p.m. So just remember,

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8, 8, 8. Thursday, August 8th at 8 p.m. Okay, Eastern Time. We say all the time Eastern Time,

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so y'all just know like if we announce just and we say one time, it's Eastern Standard Time and

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just kind of figure out from there. That's 7 p.m. Central and 5 p.m. Pacific. We have people in all

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other different time zones as well. That special session is going to be on Dream Interpretation.

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Y'all do have one in your course content. I want you to know that's completely different. Okay,

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we're bringing a whole different guy and Jackie's going to do this. Like she's been collecting

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questions that people have been putting in in each phase group. Y'all, the post is in the group

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and she would collected those comments and questions and she's going to be interviewing

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the guy. It's going to be really insightful. You guys were hopefully going to get some

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answers to questions you've been having and even asking us and so we'd love to have you join us.

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That event is already in your events tab. So if you look at Thursday night, it was placed there

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today. So just so you know, it's already there for you. It just says Dream Interpretation.

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So that's the one I'm talking about in your event calendar. Okay. All right. I'm going to go ahead

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and pray. Father, thank you so much for your amazing grace. God, even just before we came on

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live, Lord, I just sat and just remember just how many different times when I was in boot camp.

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That's what we used to call it. Heartwork. Lord, I would come in and some days I just would have had

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a bad day and Lord, just the prayer that I had was just that you would remove the remnants

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of any kind of yuckiness or rough day or even arguments that rose up with family over the last

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few days or anything that the enemy would try to use to hinder us from receiving all that you

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have for us. I pray that you would remove distractions tonight. Even people texting

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people during the session. Lord, all these things used to happen to me. So I just pray

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that you would cover our ladies, cover their minds, their hearts, their spirits, and their souls.

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Help them to lean in to hear what your spirit is saying to them. I pray that you would just

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help them to remember that they are your sheep and your sheep hear your voice. And even at times

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where they've questioned their ability to hear you, God, I pray that you just continue to teach

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them who you are. And the more that they get to know you, the more they will recognize your voice

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over the voice of the enemy or even their own voice at times. So Lord, I pray that you bring

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anything out of darkness into the light, that there would be revealings for healing. And Lord,

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we just thank you for sending the Holy Spirit, Jesus, when you ascended into heaven. And we

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just thank you Holy Spirit for coming and being here, weaving in and through our conversations,

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through the lesson, through just every aspect. You are the great counselor, the comforter. You

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are the one that redeems and illuminates. And so we're just asking you to illuminate our hearts

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and our minds and our spirits, creating us clean hearts, oh God, and renew steadfast spirits within

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us in Jesus name, amen. Y'all, I used to years ago, I grew up on Joyce Meyer, y'all, my faith.

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And we don't talk about a lot of outside people, but I feel like it's relevant. She used to always

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say, if you just put your ears, your hands on your ears and say, I am his sheep and his sheep

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hear his voice. And I remember seeing her do that for the first time and doing it. And just God

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nudging me to do that all the time. Y'all I'm serious. I would just every morning, I am his

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sheep and I hear his voice. God, thank you that I am your sheep. I hear your voice. And I would just

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say it over and over again. And so I just want to encourage you. Maybe that's for you tonight. Maybe

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you've been struggling to know if you hear from the Lord. And I just want you to know that you

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can, and you do y'all he's always talking. It's just whether or not we're tuned into the radio

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frequency of the heaven. That's I know it sounds so simplistic, but it truly is that. And for some

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of us that causes frustration because you feel like you're trying to lean in. And I have this

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happen a lot. People be like, I'm trying, I'm trying. And I just want you to know, he sees you

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and he, he hears you. He sees you and he's going to help you recognize the way.

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that you hear him, because the way I hear him might not be the way you hear him, but God's

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going to help you understand the way that you hear him, recognize him in the world around you.

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He created us all to hear and perceive differently, y'all. All right. So we're actually not talking

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about that at all tonight. That was just extra. I believe that was the Holy Spirit coming up in that.

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But I want to talk about a couple topics tonight. The first one is fear and anxiety kind of combo.

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We're going to talk about coming out of fear and anxiety and into love, into love. And then we're

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going to talk about control. So without further ado, I want to talk a little bit about our hearts

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and how impressionable they are. I want you guys to think about today. I want you to think about

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how many things were said to you by people, or even this last week, let's not just make it today.

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How many people said things to you that without you even realizing the enemy was suddenly,

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subtly, not suddenly, sorry, subtly, like very, very kind of sneaky, you know,

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just weaving his way in there, trying to convince you of something that wasn't true about yourself.

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I'm going to give you an example. I kind of alluded to this this afternoon, but I'm going to

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go into it a little bit more tonight. I've had this situation with a dear friend of mine,

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someone that a couple years ago, several years ago, really opened her heart and her home and

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her family to me. And I started hanging out with them and their family became very close.

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I was in her wedding. She was in my wedding. She's amazing, incredible person. But the tough thing is

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that this friendship has changed and I have found that I'm pouring in and pouring in and pouring in,

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and I don't feel like it's being reciprocated anymore. And so it's been this struggle for

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two years that I've been trying to really like figure out, do I keep trying to revive this thing

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and keep it going? Or Laura, do you want me to let this go? It doesn't mean I'm not going to be,

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not going to be friends with her. It doesn't mean I don't love her, but like in new seasons,

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sometimes y'all, our circles change and it doesn't mean God won't bring her back in close later.

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But here's the reality. There's some things that have happened along the way in that two years

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time, dates and times we set up where we were supposed to connect and she would say, well,

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God's leading me this way instead. And she would blow off our connection time.

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And I say, blow off. She believes she heard from the Lord, but here's the thing. Relationship is

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commitment. It's showing up. And sometimes the more spiritual thing is to stay committed to

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something. Okay. So I've been over here trying to not get bitter in my heart and resent the being

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blown off. Okay. So I'm just trying to paint this picture a little bit. And you might wonder,

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how's this connected to fear? And I'm going to show you in a little bit here.

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So I've been working hard. I've been striving, trying to keep that going,

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if you will, and not even intentionally striving, but kind of the final straw was she blew off

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another time a couple months ago. And it was, it was a time I really needed my close friends.

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We were going through a lot with denomination stuff and the big move that we had to make.

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And, and when she blew me off, I just, I just was so hurt that I couldn't even, I couldn't even say

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anything back. And I just, so I just said, I'll get back to you when I can. And I say that because

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when I looked back at the last community communication time, y'all this last few weeks,

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it was back in may. And, uh, I really had to look at a, I was, it was crazy busy. We,

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I was working two jobs. I was getting ready for a move. We were under so much pressure with the

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denominational stuff. It just really was a crushing all of press time. If y'all know what

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I'm talking about. Um, but I also want to just be transparent and honest with you all. I didn't say

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anything else to her because I was hurting. I felt hurt that she blew me off when I really needed

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her. And so because of that, I put up walls and I just was like, I don't have time. I don't,

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I can't just keep getting hurt over and over again by her. So I'm just not going to say anything.

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And y'all, I never heard from her. So there's that too. Okay. So why am I saying all this? I'm

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saying this because, um, she reached out last week, just like, Hey, I'm thinking of you praying

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for you. That sounds great. You know? And I responded, thank you so much. I'd love to get

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together with you. And it started this kind of whole thing. Um, y'all the short of it is that

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I got

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flown off again and not just once, but multiple times in one week.

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And so I grew, I grew some courage.

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I found my courage and I sent her this vulnerable message last Wednesday and

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just said, Hey, you know, I just need to be honest and say, I've been, I've

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been hurting because you blew me off way back in May and, uh, and then, you

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know, I'm struggling with kind of how things are and when the response came

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back, she wasn't unkind, but there was no acknowledgement of how I felt.

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And not only that, but then at the end, she said, neither one of us have

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invested in this, in this relationship at all, and y'all a hundred percent

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transparency, that is absolutely not true.

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And I can tell you, if I wanted to, I can make a whole list of the things that I

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have done, not only in the last few years, but in the last year, even in the

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last several months, except for those two months from that time that

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happened in our move time.

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So here's why I'm sharing all this.

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It's okay.

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You all I'm okay.

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Just so you know, I am actually, this is really good for me.

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And this is a good example for you all, because this is where

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heartwork is a lifestyle.

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Okay.

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If I feel a Holy spirit on that, if I didn't have the heartwork in my life,

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you all, I don't even think I would be as self-aware in this process as I am right

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now.

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So I'm sharing it to you with you because of this a, uh, the reality

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is I fear the loss of friendship.

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Okay.

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I'm afraid to lose my friend because this is someone that when they say to

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me, you're like my family, I take that seriously.

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I take that seriously.

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So that feels hard and hurtful to think, well, this isn't just my friend.

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We're supposed to be family.

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Okay.

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So there's that here's the other thing.

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I didn't even realize it until tonight.

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So after my session with the 1 PM ladies before tonight, I was talking with a

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different front and not gossiping, just processing.

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And she said something to me and she said, Bethany, I've known you for years.

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And I've never known you to be someone who doesn't pursue relationship

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and invest in friendship.

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And when I read her text, I was like, oh my gosh, you're right.

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You're right.

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It doesn't mean I don't make mistakes you all, but the enemy was subtly coming

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in and attacking me and my identity through the thing my friend said.

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So I'm saying to you tonight, as I'm kicking off fear and anxiety, and we're

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going to talk about control, I don't want to lose that friendship.

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I don't, but I can't control what someone else does.

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We can't control what other people do.

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Do I regret getting close to her?

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Absolutely not.

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I love her.

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And I, you all, I know, I sincerely know that my friend loves me, but I think

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her interpretation of love right now is different than my interpretation of

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love and how we express it to each other.

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Okay.

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So I can learn how to hold people with an open hand in a big old open heart and

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know that sometimes love hurts, but it's so worth it.

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Hey, all right.

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I'm setting y'all up because fear and anxiety comes in real quick.

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Doesn't it?

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In so many different ways.

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I want you to think about how has your heart been highly impressionable to the

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lies and the voice of the enemy, even in the last week, and that's why I use that

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example, because the enemy was trying to come against my identity and say, you

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haven't shown up and you haven't done enough to keep this friendship going.

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And that is the honest goodness, not the truth.

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Okay.

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Um, and so what is it that he's been saying to you?

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Where has it been causing fear and anxiety about a relationship, about a

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situation, about a person, about a job, about money, whatever it's about?

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Oh, I'm giving you an example of a relationship, but this could

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come in so many different ways.

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Proverbs 4 23 and the ESV says, keep your heart with all vigilance for

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from it flows the springs of life.

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Vigilance literally means the quality or state of being vigilant.

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So what does that mean?

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It's the alert, alertly watchful being alertly watchful to avoid danger.

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So if, if, you know, Jackie talks about in the book, we have all

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these passwords on our phones.

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Y'all I can kind of chuckle.

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I wish I could show y'all our front door.

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It has three locks on it and we laugh about it, but y'all, we lock all three.

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I don't know why they have three locks.

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on the door. It's actually a pretty safe neighborhood. But I laugh about that and look at it as I'm

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talking to you all because, you know, we guard our homes and we guard all this stuff, but

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so often our hearts are kind of, there's no guard over that. And I'm not saying put walls

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up. I'm talking about asking God to place the armor over your heart, to help you guard

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your heart and mind through Christ Jesus. And how do we do that? It's to know the truth.

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It's to go to God and ask for healing with even situations like I'm saying to you, I've

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been going to the Lord and saying, Lord, this, this has hurt me. This is, I don't know what

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to do about this. And just having conversation with my father who cares about me and he cares

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about you. So where do you need to guard your heart? Maybe with a little bit more vigilance

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in the next week ahead. Trauma that happened to us is what actually stops us from living

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an amazing life. You all, that's not what stops us. Yes, it hurts us. It, it might slow

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us down for a little bit, but ultimately that is not what stops us from having an amazing

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life. Do you know what does the lies we believe because of the trauma we've experienced. So

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in the kind of like, just asking the Lord to reveal things tonight, I want you to ask

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him what lies am I still believing when you're looking at your life, where do you see problem

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areas? Where do you still feel stuck? And that those things that, that, that kind of

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translate into that. Those are the signals that tell you there are lies that you are

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still believing in that area. Okay. I'm going to say that again, problem areas and areas

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that you feel stuck. And those are signals that say, Hey, you're believing a lie here

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still. Okay. So if you feel stuck in your job, y'all, it's not just the people at your

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job that are mean to you. I hate to say it. It is that sometimes, but sometimes the reason

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we're stuck in that job is because there's something God is trying to do in us. Am I

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saying God put you in a job where people mistreat you? No, I'm not. That's not what I'm saying.

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But what I'm saying is we got to get free on the inside and grow in our value. A lot

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of times it's that we don't believe we deserve a different job, or we are afraid to go and

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actually apply for a different job because we're not sure we will get it. I had, I had

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someone I was talking to, uh, recently, and we were talking about this, this opportunity

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that came up. And when she was talking about it, we were doing a coaching session and she's

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just lighten up talking about this opportunity. And so I encouraged her. I was like, you should

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just apply for that thing today. She's like today, she had the shock. Yeah. Today. I was

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like, you're lighting up like all kinds of like, Woo. Like, I mean, literally she wasn't

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saying that, but like her face was saying it. She wanted that job. She's like, okay,

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okay. I'll do it. I'll do it. Y'all we get off that coaching call. And this is someone

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I talk to on a regular basis. So it's not like a heartwork session. Weeks later, I circle

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back like, Hey, just curious. Did you apply for that job? No, I didn't. Y'all. She ended

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up worrying that her resume wasn't good enough. Then she got sick. Then she thought she needed

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a friend to help her do her resume. And I get it. Y'all these are all fears we all face.

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So I'm just trying to break it down. This is how it shows up in our life, right? This

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is a job. She is a, like a dream job, but she never still to this day has applied for

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it. Why? Why don't we? Well, deep down inside, there's something telling us, yeah, that job

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isn't for you or you can't get that job or what? Some reason your resume is not good

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enough. Y'all. I believe that God is big enough and good enough that if my, if I'm intended

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to have a job that he's going to put my resume to the front of the line, I really believe

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that. I believe God can give us favor in any circumstance. I really do. So where are the

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lies holding you back from living the amazing abundant life that God has for you? Fear is

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false evidence appearing real. I want you to remember that fear is false evidence appearing

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real. So the enemy is trying to convince us that something negative is going to happen.

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And he's, he's making it look very, very realistic. So with my friend, you're going to lose family.

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You're going to lose that friendship. You're going to feel a void and you're not going

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to get other friends like that friend. Does anyone else relate to this stuff? Y'all here's

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the truth. I love her and I don't want to not have her in my life. But if the, if the

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season of that friendship is ending, you know what I know? If I really lean into truth,

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not in my fear, not in my sadness. If I lean into truth, guess what that means? That means

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God is making room.

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for somebody else that I need in this next season,

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that I don't even know that I need them, but I do.

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And they're gonna carry something.

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I'm speaking to myself, thank you, Lord.

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They're gonna carry something

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that I need in this next season.

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So some of you all, that's truth for you too.

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Whatever you need, God will provide it in the days ahead.

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If you, if we will not be afraid to let go.

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Anxiety is what?

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Anxiety is, how is it fueled?

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It's fueled by fear and what I call the what ifs.

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What if this?

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What if that?

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What if this happens?

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And what if this doesn't happen?

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And what if I do that and they do the, like y'all,

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we just sometimes need to say, okay, devil, not today.

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Like we need to serve that stop sign, eviction notice.

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Like I am not going to sit

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and listen to these what ifs today.

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I'm gonna choose to put on some worship music.

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I'm gonna choose to read scripture out loud.

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Do y'all know one of the best ways

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to get the enemy to stop speaking to your mind?

396
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Just get your Bible out

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and literally start reading scripture out loud.

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Y'all, I used to do that even during COVID.

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I mean, I lived alone.

400
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I couldn't go see my family.

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I really didn't even get to see friends.

402
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It was a tough time.

403
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Do y'all know what I would do?

404
00:26:20.120 --> 00:26:22.640
I'm not joking you and I'm not patting myself on the back

405
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cause I literally did not plan on saying any of this.

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So I'm glad it's helping some of y'all.

407
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I remember, and this might sound funny.

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I was getting my steps in at the same time.

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I would walk in circles and walk around my apartment

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and just read the word of God out loud.

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I would, I was getting my steps in.

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I was reading the word of God

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and y'all I was speaking to my spirit

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and I was telling my spirit how it was gonna feel

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and what my body was gonna do

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because my body and my spirit

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needed to get into alignment with heaven.

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Because yes, it felt, I felt alone.

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Y'all real talk.

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I felt alone.

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I felt afraid.

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And I thought that was, that season was never gonna end.

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At moments, it literally felt like

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I was gonna be by myself for years.

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But that wasn't true.

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That wasn't true.

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And God did not want me to stay in that false belief.

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So I want you to ask God to help you with these things.

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Ask God to show you what are the facts, okay?

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When you're struggling with something, what are the facts?

431
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And then what is the truth from heaven

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that you need to know?

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The Bible says that God will tell us the secrets from heaven.

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That's not just for me, you all.

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That's for all of us.

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If we come in close enough and we spend enough time with him

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we will start to hear through the word of God

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when we're reading it, through prayer, through dreams,

439
00:27:52.880 --> 00:27:56.720
we will start to hear the whispers from heaven.

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We can overcome fears the more we heal

441
00:27:58.640 --> 00:28:02.240
and become rooted in God's love and faithfulness to us.

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So that's how, again, fear and anxiety overcome

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by the more we grow in love.

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I'm gonna read something to you all

445
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real quick from the book.

446
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It's called The Biggest Lie.

447
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This is the section that says the biggest lie.

448
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If you're not there yet, it's totally fine.

449
00:28:17.280 --> 00:28:18.160
But this is what it says.

450
00:28:18.160 --> 00:28:20.000
But not everyone sees the dysfunction

451
00:28:20.000 --> 00:28:22.000
in their life as a problem.

452
00:28:22.000 --> 00:28:24.080
The biggest lie that you may believe in life

453
00:28:24.080 --> 00:28:26.880
is that your life is normal.

454
00:28:26.880 --> 00:28:29.000
Many people live, excuse me,

455
00:28:29.000 --> 00:28:30.560
many people that live broken lives

456
00:28:30.560 --> 00:28:33.400
believe that it's reasonable to live that way.

457
00:28:33.400 --> 00:28:35.760
They have inherited the emotional debt or trauma

458
00:28:35.760 --> 00:28:37.040
from their family.

459
00:28:37.040 --> 00:28:40.000
And they think it's normal to be overweight,

460
00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:42.880
that it's normal to be unhappy, to be unfaithful,

461
00:28:42.880 --> 00:28:45.160
to be in a relationship where someone mistreats you

462
00:28:45.160 --> 00:28:47.680
or to be sick all the time.

463
00:28:48.760 --> 00:28:51.120
They think it's okay to have massive amounts of debt

464
00:28:51.120 --> 00:28:52.520
and spend all of their energy

465
00:28:52.520 --> 00:28:54.880
trying to figure out how to pay the bills

466
00:28:54.880 --> 00:28:57.480
or even more severe of a deception.

467
00:28:57.480 --> 00:28:58.520
Here it is you all.

468
00:28:59.400 --> 00:29:02.640
Like it's normal for people to get abused

469
00:29:02.640 --> 00:29:04.560
and hurt by others.

470
00:29:04.560 --> 00:29:08.040
And it's normal for that to be in your life too.

471
00:29:08.040 --> 00:29:09.800
That's not normal.

472
00:29:09.800 --> 00:29:12.280
It's not normal for us to live that way.

473
00:29:12.280 --> 00:29:16.520
God created us to live in an abundant life.

474
00:29:16.560 --> 00:29:18.720
Does that sound like any of those things?

475
00:29:19.640 --> 00:29:21.000
Doesn't, right?

476
00:29:21.000 --> 00:29:22.800
So I'm saying that to you

477
00:29:22.800 --> 00:29:25.480
because maybe some of you that's your lie.

478
00:29:26.640 --> 00:29:28.480
Your lie that the enemy is telling you

479
00:29:28.480 --> 00:29:32.520
is that this is how your life is and this is normal

480
00:29:32.520 --> 00:29:35.760
because your mom, I'm just gonna go here, okay?

481
00:29:35.760 --> 00:29:38.560
I have a sister that has four kids out of wedlock.

482
00:29:41.120 --> 00:29:43.360
I love my sister,

483
00:29:43.400 --> 00:29:46.680
but it breaks my heart for her and her kids.

484
00:29:47.600 --> 00:29:49.200
Do I think she can recover?

485
00:29:49.200 --> 00:29:50.880
Yes, I do.

486
00:29:50.880 --> 00:29:53.800
But she has to want to and she has to partner with heaven.

487
00:29:54.920 --> 00:29:57.880
My mom and my dad had my brother.

488
00:29:57.880 --> 00:30:00.560
My mom got pregnant with him before they were married.

489
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.320
They got married because they got pregnant with my brother.

490
00:30:04.320 --> 00:30:07.560
Am I saying that my mom's choices and my dad,

491
00:30:07.560 --> 00:30:10.520
that it's their fault my sister chose that way?

492
00:30:10.520 --> 00:30:13.320
No. But what I am saying is that the things that we

493
00:30:13.320 --> 00:30:16.880
choose do impact those around us for good or for not good.

494
00:30:16.880 --> 00:30:20.140
So we have to understand that when we choose good,

495
00:30:20.140 --> 00:30:23.740
you all, and we choose to be kinsmen redeemers in our families,

496
00:30:23.740 --> 00:30:27.640
you all generations behind us will have blessing.

497
00:30:27.640 --> 00:30:31.700
Some of you all, I know this is going to be a hard thing for you to hear,

498
00:30:31.700 --> 00:30:34.060
but some of you all are fighting right now.

499
00:30:34.060 --> 00:30:37.660
You're fighting and you're believing and you're pressing through,

500
00:30:37.660 --> 00:30:39.840
not just for you.

501
00:30:39.840 --> 00:30:42.560
This isn't just for you to find a man,

502
00:30:42.560 --> 00:30:43.960
to find your spirit mate.

503
00:30:43.960 --> 00:30:48.000
This is for you to break other people free.

504
00:30:48.000 --> 00:30:54.780
Yes. Your kids and your grandkids and their grandkids and their grandkids.

505
00:30:54.780 --> 00:31:00.820
So that freedom and blessing can be in the generations to come in your family.

506
00:31:00.820 --> 00:31:04.700
Some of you all are fearing sudden things like,

507
00:31:04.700 --> 00:31:06.860
you're afraid the other shoe is going to drop.

508
00:31:06.860 --> 00:31:10.980
You're thinking the worst case scenario all the time.

509
00:31:10.980 --> 00:31:12.900
I'm going to give you two scenarios.

510
00:31:12.900 --> 00:31:14.580
Again, there's a ton of different scenarios,

511
00:31:14.580 --> 00:31:16.960
but these were the two God gave me this morning.

512
00:31:16.960 --> 00:31:22.100
Sometimes some of you all hear sirens and automatically your heart drops and

513
00:31:22.100 --> 00:31:28.300
you're afraid that someone in your family that you love has been in a terrible accident.

514
00:31:28.300 --> 00:31:30.300
Does anyone, put it in chat.

515
00:31:30.300 --> 00:31:31.820
If you ever have that fear,

516
00:31:31.820 --> 00:31:33.060
I want to see who you are.

517
00:31:33.060 --> 00:31:35.480
Maybe no one tonight, but I do want to check.

518
00:31:35.480 --> 00:31:39.020
If you've ever had fears like that, okay, Benjamin.

519
00:31:39.020 --> 00:31:41.580
I don't think you're, are you Benjamin?

520
00:31:42.940 --> 00:31:46.620
I'm teasing because I see you're not Benjamin.

521
00:31:46.620 --> 00:31:48.780
You're on someone else's computer.

522
00:31:48.780 --> 00:31:51.060
I just want to call you by the right name tonight.

523
00:31:51.500 --> 00:31:52.300
All right.

524
00:31:52.300 --> 00:31:54.900
So yeah, so let's ladies.

525
00:31:54.900 --> 00:31:57.100
And when you're looking at this,

526
00:31:57.100 --> 00:32:02.540
I want you to be aware of that lie that something bad is all like something always.

527
00:32:02.540 --> 00:32:03.780
Why do we believe that?

528
00:32:03.780 --> 00:32:06.500
Y'all I used to have the same panic thing.

529
00:32:06.500 --> 00:32:08.460
Well, when I looked at it and I did the heart healing,

530
00:32:08.460 --> 00:32:09.980
even around that y'all,

531
00:32:09.980 --> 00:32:13.740
even around when we hear sirens that we automatically panic,

532
00:32:13.740 --> 00:32:16.060
something bad happened to someone I love.

533
00:32:16.060 --> 00:32:19.700
Well, when I did heartwork, guess what?

534
00:32:19.700 --> 00:32:22.900
Do y'all know how many accidents my family had been in?

535
00:32:22.900 --> 00:32:24.980
Like crazy number.

536
00:32:24.980 --> 00:32:28.500
And my mom and my oldest brother and my sister were hit by a drunk driver.

537
00:32:28.500 --> 00:32:33.220
And my family was massively impacted, like serious stuff.

538
00:32:33.220 --> 00:32:38.220
So it's no surprise when I finally did heartwork around that

539
00:32:38.220 --> 00:32:40.300
and just quit living with that.

540
00:32:40.300 --> 00:32:42.740
See, even that, like, do you know how so many of us are like,

541
00:32:42.740 --> 00:32:46.060
oh, this is normal that I get afraid every time I hear a siren.

542
00:32:47.300 --> 00:32:48.660
It's not normal.

543
00:32:49.500 --> 00:32:53.940
It's brokenness causing us to be afraid all the time.

544
00:32:54.860 --> 00:32:58.540
Some of y'all, when someone doesn't respond to your texts,

545
00:32:58.540 --> 00:33:00.940
you automatically think something bad has happened

546
00:33:00.940 --> 00:33:03.980
or they're mad at you or they don't care about you.

547
00:33:03.980 --> 00:33:08.980
The worst case scenario instead of believing the best.

548
00:33:09.060 --> 00:33:10.940
So what is the heartwork for you?

549
00:33:10.940 --> 00:33:12.500
Where does that come from?

550
00:33:13.500 --> 00:33:16.260
Did someone that you love literally reject you

551
00:33:16.260 --> 00:33:18.300
and not respond to you in the past?

552
00:33:18.340 --> 00:33:20.100
Like, where is the fear coming from?

553
00:33:20.100 --> 00:33:22.940
1 John 4, 18 in the NIV version says this,

554
00:33:22.940 --> 00:33:25.660
there's no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear

555
00:33:25.660 --> 00:33:28.500
because fear has to do with punishment.

556
00:33:28.500 --> 00:33:30.620
Another version says torment.

557
00:33:30.620 --> 00:33:34.620
The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

558
00:33:36.660 --> 00:33:38.260
I want you to think about that.

559
00:33:38.260 --> 00:33:39.780
Do you struggle with fear?

560
00:33:40.820 --> 00:33:42.980
Because the Bible here is saying,

561
00:33:42.980 --> 00:33:44.500
and this was a reality check for me.

562
00:33:44.500 --> 00:33:48.700
It says the one who fears is not made perfect in love.

563
00:33:50.860 --> 00:33:52.700
So y'all, when we're struggling with fear,

564
00:33:52.700 --> 00:33:56.860
it's because we're forgetting how loved we are.

565
00:33:58.140 --> 00:34:00.700
And we're forgetting who God himself is.

566
00:34:00.700 --> 00:34:03.180
God is love and nothing.

567
00:34:03.180 --> 00:34:05.380
It says nothing can separate us from his love,

568
00:34:05.380 --> 00:34:07.940
not height nor depth, nor principality, nor power,

569
00:34:07.940 --> 00:34:10.540
nor things in the present day or things to come.

570
00:34:11.659 --> 00:34:13.659
Nothing can separate us from his love,

571
00:34:13.659 --> 00:34:18.659
but why is our go-to fear versus leaning back

572
00:34:19.780 --> 00:34:21.620
into the embrace and Lord,

573
00:34:21.620 --> 00:34:24.340
I know the enemy wants me to be afraid right now,

574
00:34:24.340 --> 00:34:29.139
but I know that you love me and I can hide in your love.

575
00:34:31.620 --> 00:34:33.500
Totally different stance, isn't it?

576
00:34:34.420 --> 00:34:36.900
I'm gonna read a different version of that same scripture.

577
00:34:36.900 --> 00:34:40.139
1 John 4, 18, this is the amplified version.

578
00:34:41.179 --> 00:34:42.659
There's no fear in love.

579
00:34:42.699 --> 00:34:46.060
Dread does not exist in love.

580
00:34:46.060 --> 00:34:49.780
The perfect, complete, full-grown love drives out fear

581
00:34:49.780 --> 00:34:54.100
because fear involves the expectation of divine punishment.

582
00:34:54.100 --> 00:34:57.300
So the one who is afraid of God's judgment

583
00:34:57.300 --> 00:35:00.780
is not perfected in love, has not grown in love.

584
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.200
and into a sufficient understanding of God's love.

585
00:35:04.560 --> 00:35:07.920
So how many of us, myself included,

586
00:35:07.920 --> 00:35:10.800
y'all I've been admitting things already tonight,

587
00:35:10.800 --> 00:35:13.160
need an upgrade in our understanding

588
00:35:13.160 --> 00:35:14.780
of the love of the father?

589
00:35:17.240 --> 00:35:18.800
Man, I feel like every day,

590
00:35:18.800 --> 00:35:20.960
I feel like that's what I ask him all the time now.

591
00:35:20.960 --> 00:35:22.560
Just help me, Lord.

592
00:35:22.560 --> 00:35:24.960
Help me to have an upgrade in my understanding of your love.

593
00:35:24.960 --> 00:35:29.800
Help me to know that I can hide in the cleft of your rock.

594
00:35:31.000 --> 00:35:34.480
Okay, fear is a liar.

595
00:35:34.480 --> 00:35:38.160
I'm gonna read a couple song lyrics to y'all.

596
00:35:38.160 --> 00:35:40.200
It's from Zach Williams song.

597
00:35:40.200 --> 00:35:42.040
And then I'm getting ready to put you in your breakout.

598
00:35:42.040 --> 00:35:46.760
So start thinking about what you wanna share about,

599
00:35:46.760 --> 00:35:48.520
but still listen to the song here.

600
00:35:49.400 --> 00:35:51.460
What fear are you gonna ask God to help you

601
00:35:51.460 --> 00:35:53.320
come out of alignment with tonight?

602
00:35:53.320 --> 00:35:56.640
Okay, this is a couple lyrics,

603
00:35:56.640 --> 00:35:58.560
song lyrics from the beginning of this song,

604
00:35:58.560 --> 00:35:59.580
fear is a liar.

605
00:36:00.480 --> 00:36:02.160
When he told you, you're not good enough.

606
00:36:02.160 --> 00:36:03.440
When he told you, you're not right.

607
00:36:03.440 --> 00:36:05.200
When he told you, you're not strong enough

608
00:36:05.200 --> 00:36:06.720
to put up a good fight.

609
00:36:06.720 --> 00:36:08.480
When he told you, you're not worthy.

610
00:36:08.480 --> 00:36:11.160
When he told you, you're not loved.

611
00:36:11.160 --> 00:36:13.260
When he told you, you're not beautiful,

612
00:36:13.260 --> 00:36:16.080
you'll never be enough.

613
00:36:16.080 --> 00:36:18.000
Fear, he is a liar.

614
00:36:18.000 --> 00:36:21.360
Okay, he's talking about the devil here in the he.

615
00:36:21.360 --> 00:36:24.400
He will take your breath, stop you in your steps.

616
00:36:24.400 --> 00:36:27.040
Fear, he is a liar.

617
00:36:27.040 --> 00:36:30.320
He will rob your rest, steal your happiness,

618
00:36:30.320 --> 00:36:32.960
cast your fear in the fire,

619
00:36:32.960 --> 00:36:35.000
because fear is a liar.

620
00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:36.440
Here's the second verse.

621
00:36:37.440 --> 00:36:39.600
When he told you, you were troubled,

622
00:36:39.600 --> 00:36:42.000
you'll forever be alone.

623
00:36:42.000 --> 00:36:43.680
When he told you, you should run away,

624
00:36:43.680 --> 00:36:45.280
you'll never find a home.

625
00:36:45.280 --> 00:36:46.880
When he told you that you were dirty

626
00:36:46.880 --> 00:36:48.080
and you should be ashamed.

627
00:36:48.080 --> 00:36:49.820
When he told you that you,

628
00:36:51.000 --> 00:36:53.040
when he told you, you could be the one

629
00:36:53.040 --> 00:36:55.480
that grace could never change.

630
00:36:55.480 --> 00:36:56.760
Wow.

631
00:36:56.760 --> 00:36:58.080
Oh, fear, he is a liar.

632
00:36:58.080 --> 00:37:00.640
He will take your breath, stop you in your steps.

633
00:37:00.640 --> 00:37:02.520
Fear, he is a liar.

634
00:37:02.520 --> 00:37:05.280
He will rob you of your rest, steal your happiness,

635
00:37:05.280 --> 00:37:08.080
cast your fear in the fire,

636
00:37:08.080 --> 00:37:09.840
because fear, he is a liar.

637
00:37:11.680 --> 00:37:14.040
So many lies, and you know,

638
00:37:14.040 --> 00:37:15.520
he goes through so many lies.

639
00:37:15.520 --> 00:37:16.880
Zach Williams, man, I'm like,

640
00:37:16.880 --> 00:37:20.000
he must've battled with some fears there,

641
00:37:20.000 --> 00:37:21.280
because he's speaking some truth.

642
00:37:21.280 --> 00:37:23.520
How many times, y'all, when he told you,

643
00:37:23.520 --> 00:37:25.680
you were troubled and you'll forever be alone.

644
00:37:25.680 --> 00:37:28.000
I know some of y'all have been battling that.

645
00:37:29.360 --> 00:37:32.080
And the enemy, Satan, is a liar.

646
00:37:32.080 --> 00:37:33.800
Do y'all know that God is not a liar?

647
00:37:33.800 --> 00:37:35.200
He's not a man that he should lie.

648
00:37:35.200 --> 00:37:37.440
The Bible says he's not a liar.

649
00:37:40.680 --> 00:37:42.320
The devil is a liar,

650
00:37:42.320 --> 00:37:44.080
and he's the one feeding you lies

651
00:37:44.080 --> 00:37:45.520
and has been feeding you lies.

652
00:37:45.520 --> 00:37:47.440
He's the one that's bringing destruction

653
00:37:47.440 --> 00:37:49.320
and death and harm in your life.

654
00:37:49.320 --> 00:37:53.560
But God is there to help you pick up the pieces,

655
00:37:53.560 --> 00:37:58.400
to right the wrongs, and to love you back to life.

656
00:37:58.400 --> 00:37:59.600
Ooh, I felt the Holy Spirit.

657
00:37:59.600 --> 00:38:01.360
To love you back to life.

658
00:38:02.480 --> 00:38:05.560
So Lord, before you go into breakouts, ladies,

659
00:38:05.560 --> 00:38:06.560
I'm just gonna pray real quick.

660
00:38:06.560 --> 00:38:09.000
Father, would you just come into every crevice,

661
00:38:09.000 --> 00:38:13.720
every broken place where the enemy has been sowing fear

662
00:38:13.720 --> 00:38:15.520
and torment into their lives.

663
00:38:15.520 --> 00:38:17.200
I pray that you would just help them even now

664
00:38:17.240 --> 00:38:20.000
to know what fears they need to come out of alignment

665
00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:23.760
with tonight, to decide that today is the day

666
00:38:23.760 --> 00:38:26.720
that they are separating themselves from these fears,

667
00:38:26.720 --> 00:38:28.960
and they're gonna come further into your love

668
00:38:28.960 --> 00:38:32.480
and into your grace and into your mercy and your goodness.

669
00:38:32.480 --> 00:38:33.920
Help them to receive your love.

670
00:38:33.920 --> 00:38:36.520
Help them to not be afraid of you, God.

671
00:38:36.520 --> 00:38:37.920
Yes, we're supposed to fear you, Lord,

672
00:38:37.920 --> 00:38:40.520
but not tremble in fear of you.

673
00:38:40.520 --> 00:38:45.320
To have fear and reverence towards you, awe and wonder.

674
00:38:45.320 --> 00:38:47.240
Lord, help us to understand the difference

675
00:38:47.240 --> 00:38:48.720
a little bit more tonight.

676
00:38:48.720 --> 00:38:51.560
In Jesus' name, amen.

677
00:38:51.560 --> 00:38:53.320
That's totally fine if some of y'all are driving

678
00:38:53.320 --> 00:38:55.120
and can't go into breakouts, just stay here,

679
00:38:55.120 --> 00:38:57.360
and I'll be praying and doing all of that

680
00:38:57.360 --> 00:38:59.760
while they're in the breakouts.

681
00:39:05.360 --> 00:39:06.200
Great.

682
00:39:10.760 --> 00:39:11.600
There you go.

683
00:39:11.600 --> 00:39:12.960
Go ahead and click to join.

684
00:39:16.080 --> 00:39:16.920
Hold on one.

685
00:39:16.920 --> 00:39:18.000
Mandy, I'll get you situated

686
00:39:18.000 --> 00:39:19.400
as soon as I get everybody else in there,

687
00:39:19.400 --> 00:39:21.200
because it bounces the screen around

688
00:39:21.200 --> 00:39:22.440
until they get settled.

689
00:39:23.360 --> 00:39:27.600
Welcome, welcome, ladies that are joining new.

690
00:39:29.640 --> 00:39:30.480
All right.

691
00:39:34.320 --> 00:39:35.160
There you go, Mandy.

692
00:39:35.160 --> 00:39:36.960
That should be there for you to click.

693
00:39:39.600 --> 00:39:40.440
All right.

694
00:39:40.440 --> 00:39:42.120
Is anyone else?

695
00:39:45.560 --> 00:39:47.680
Anyone else here that can't?

696
00:39:47.680 --> 00:39:49.280
Did you get kicked out, Shelly?

697
00:39:49.280 --> 00:39:51.160
I might've done it myself, Bethany.

698
00:39:51.160 --> 00:39:52.520
I was in room six.

699
00:39:53.720 --> 00:39:54.560
Let me see.

700
00:39:54.560 --> 00:39:56.680
I don't know if it'll let me put you back in that same room.

701
00:39:56.680 --> 00:39:57.520
Okay.

702
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:07.000
Yeah, I don't think so. Go ahead. And I'm going to just put you in a different room.

703
00:40:07.000 --> 00:40:15.760
All right. Father, thank you so much for your amazing grace. God, thank you so much for

704
00:40:15.760 --> 00:40:21.760
truth in life. We thank you that you bring light into dark places and you illuminate

705
00:40:21.760 --> 00:40:26.640
everything that that which was dead can be made alive. Oh, it kicked you back again.

706
00:40:26.640 --> 00:40:33.360
What's on? Let me find you. I wonder if a prompt that keeps showing up and when I try

707
00:40:33.360 --> 00:40:40.360
to exit out, it kicks me out. So I'm not sure. I won't exit out of it this time. Okay, yeah,

708
00:40:40.360 --> 00:40:45.480
just leave. Just let it go. I wonder if your connection is maybe tricky. I'll put you back

709
00:40:45.480 --> 00:40:53.400
now and six. It'll let me do that now. All right. All right, cool. Thank you, Father,

710
00:40:53.400 --> 00:40:58.800
that you know everything that we need to be set free. I thank you that you bring dead

711
00:40:58.800 --> 00:41:05.400
things to life just in in my spirit. I'm just thinking about the story of Lazarus and and

712
00:41:05.400 --> 00:41:10.760
father how you brought. Through the power of Jesus Christ here on Earth, you brought

713
00:41:10.760 --> 00:41:15.960
Lazarus back from the dead and you gave him life again after three days in the tomb. So

714
00:41:15.960 --> 00:41:19.720
Lord, we just thank you that every area that has felt dead where it's felt like we have

715
00:41:19.720 --> 00:41:24.800
no life where we've been afraid or we've really struggled with anxiety or panic or

716
00:41:24.800 --> 00:41:29.360
worry, dread disorders. We thank you that you can just right now in Jesus name that

717
00:41:29.360 --> 00:41:35.520
you can quench all of those fears that you can bind and break in the name of Jesus Christ

718
00:41:35.520 --> 00:41:41.920
and by the power of your blood, Jesus, the spirits of fear, panic, worry, just dread

719
00:41:41.920 --> 00:41:47.140
oppression and anxious thoughts. We thank you that you would just silence those that

720
00:41:47.140 --> 00:41:51.020
every voice of the enemy would be silenced tonight and that the ladies would hear your

721
00:41:51.020 --> 00:41:57.980
voice louder than any other voice in their lives. And we just thank you for that, Lord.

722
00:41:57.980 --> 00:42:04.820
We know that. Yes, this is so good, Philippians four, seven, NLT says, then you will experience

723
00:42:04.820 --> 00:42:09.980
God's peace, which exceeds anything that we can understand. His peace will guard your

724
00:42:09.980 --> 00:42:14.900
hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. So Lord, tonight, I thank you that you would

725
00:42:14.900 --> 00:42:20.860
help us to experience you as God of peace, that you are the prince of peace. So we ask

726
00:42:20.860 --> 00:42:25.100
you to release peace from heaven into their hearts, their minds, their bodies, their spirits,

727
00:42:25.100 --> 00:42:30.100
their souls, that you would help our us to just come into complete unity with the truth

728
00:42:30.100 --> 00:42:35.740
of heaven and, and help us, Lord, just to right now, just like your peace washing over

729
00:42:35.740 --> 00:42:41.980
us that it would become tangible, that it would just come into the room where they're

730
00:42:41.980 --> 00:42:47.460
at and just help them to, even as they're talking about fear, to just feel a supernatural

731
00:42:47.460 --> 00:42:55.900
peace rising up in them. We just thank you for that in advance. Sorry, y'all, my throat

732
00:42:55.900 --> 00:43:02.580
is getting dry. We thank you Lord that, um, you say in Proverbs 23, 23, to embrace the

733
00:43:02.580 --> 00:43:09.260
truth and hold it close. Don't let go of wisdom instruction and life giving understanding.

734
00:43:09.260 --> 00:43:13.900
So Lord, we know that your word also declares to ask for wisdom and to seek to get understanding

735
00:43:13.900 --> 00:43:18.740
and even to like pay for it, to purchase it. So Lord, we thank you that you would help

736
00:43:18.740 --> 00:43:23.540
us to know the places and ways to invest in getting wisdom and understanding this being

737
00:43:23.540 --> 00:43:28.500
a part of this community is a part of that, that every dollar that we spend to invest

738
00:43:28.500 --> 00:43:33.180
in the upgrade of our understanding of who you are, father, what it looks like to live

739
00:43:33.180 --> 00:43:38.840
a healthy and whole life, to have a healed heart and to live from a place of abundance

740
00:43:38.840 --> 00:43:43.840
and freedom because we're rooted and grounded in your love. Like nothing is worth more than

741
00:43:43.840 --> 00:43:49.800
that. So Lord, we just thank you for blessing all of these ladies financially, blessing

742
00:43:49.800 --> 00:43:55.000
them for investing in themselves, investing in your kingdom ultimately, because everything

743
00:43:55.000 --> 00:44:00.720
you're doing in us here, God, it's causing ripple effects for eternity as we continue

744
00:44:00.720 --> 00:44:04.680
to be a vessel that you can work through as well. So Lord, we just thank you for healing

745
00:44:04.680 --> 00:44:11.800
and redeeming and restoring families. Yes, Lord, I thank you. I'm just hearing the Lord

746
00:44:11.800 --> 00:44:15.520
say that he's going to, I don't know who this is for, but I'm just going to speak it out

747
00:44:15.520 --> 00:44:21.360
that he's going to restore the missing link. I heard the Lord just say that he's going

748
00:44:21.360 --> 00:44:26.880
to restore the missing link. So we just thank you for that. We thank you that you're healing,

749
00:44:26.880 --> 00:44:32.160
you're redeeming, you're restoring, you're rebuilding every broken and fallen place.

750
00:44:32.160 --> 00:44:37.160
I thank you that even some of us, you're calling us to be the builder. So I pray, Lord,

751
00:44:37.160 --> 00:44:41.320
if we are a part of the rebuilding process, I pray that you would show us where to go,

752
00:44:41.320 --> 00:44:46.400
what to say, what to do. I thank you that you would help us to just truly lean into

753
00:44:46.400 --> 00:44:51.440
your heartbeat and convey that to your sons and daughters around us. We thank you in Jeremiah

754
00:44:51.440 --> 00:44:56.480
17, nine through 10 in the message version that it says this, the heart is hopelessly

755
00:44:56.480 --> 00:45:00.000
dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out.

756
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:02.480
but I, God, search the heart and examine the mind.

757
00:45:02.480 --> 00:45:04.380
I get to the heart of the human.

758
00:45:04.380 --> 00:45:06.520
I get to the root of things.

759
00:45:06.520 --> 00:45:09.920
I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be.

760
00:45:09.920 --> 00:45:11.820
God, I thank you that we don't have to pretend

761
00:45:11.820 --> 00:45:13.760
in your presence or with each other,

762
00:45:13.760 --> 00:45:17.400
that we are safe in this community to come out of hiding,

763
00:45:17.400 --> 00:45:19.360
to talk about the things that we struggle with,

764
00:45:19.360 --> 00:45:23.020
to talk about fears, to talk about even sin areas

765
00:45:23.020 --> 00:45:25.400
that have kept us bound so that we can step further

766
00:45:25.400 --> 00:45:28.100
into freedom and healing and redemption.

767
00:45:28.100 --> 00:45:31.460
So Lord, we just thank you that you would wash over

768
00:45:31.460 --> 00:45:34.660
our hearts, our minds, our spirits, and our souls tonight.

769
00:45:34.660 --> 00:45:37.980
We thank you that we are being transformed and renewed by,

770
00:45:37.980 --> 00:45:40.060
or transformed by the renewing of our minds,

771
00:45:40.060 --> 00:45:42.460
that all things are passing away.

772
00:45:42.460 --> 00:45:44.820
Behold, everything in you is becoming new.

773
00:45:44.820 --> 00:45:47.500
I thank you that you're making all things new

774
00:45:47.500 --> 00:45:50.060
and that you're helping us to get rid of the old

775
00:45:50.060 --> 00:45:52.500
so that we can make room to receive the new

776
00:45:52.500 --> 00:45:54.260
that you have for us, new friendships,

777
00:45:54.260 --> 00:45:57.620
new spirit mate, new truth.

778
00:45:57.660 --> 00:46:01.320
And I just thank you for helping us, Lord.

779
00:46:01.320 --> 00:46:05.340
Yes, Lord, help us to hear, help us to perceive and to know,

780
00:46:05.340 --> 00:46:08.580
help us to see every situation in person with your eyes,

781
00:46:08.580 --> 00:46:12.100
Lord, not with our flesh, not through our pain,

782
00:46:12.100 --> 00:46:15.500
but your eyes, help us to hear with your ears

783
00:46:15.500 --> 00:46:17.020
what your spirit is saying.

784
00:46:18.420 --> 00:46:22.300
I thank you that you would help us to know

785
00:46:22.300 --> 00:46:25.780
that you are not as the world is,

786
00:46:25.780 --> 00:46:27.140
that you don't treat us,

787
00:46:27.140 --> 00:46:29.820
you won't treat us the way that the world has treated us,

788
00:46:29.820 --> 00:46:31.360
and we can trust you.

789
00:46:32.740 --> 00:46:34.020
We can trust you.

790
00:46:36.780 --> 00:46:38.660
Thank you for Exodus 26.

791
00:46:38.660 --> 00:46:41.260
It says, I lavish unfailing love

792
00:46:41.260 --> 00:46:43.940
for a thousand generations on those who love me

793
00:46:43.940 --> 00:46:45.880
and obey my commands.

794
00:46:45.880 --> 00:46:48.740
I thank you, Lord, that you are lavishing your blessings

795
00:46:48.740 --> 00:46:51.660
and your love upon us as we obey your commands,

796
00:46:51.660 --> 00:46:54.660
as we walk with you and talk with you

797
00:46:54.660 --> 00:46:59.020
and receive your truth, your revelation, life-giving truth.

798
00:46:59.020 --> 00:47:02.100
We thank you that it will cut through bone and marrow.

799
00:47:02.100 --> 00:47:04.060
It will reveal truth to us.

800
00:47:04.060 --> 00:47:07.340
I thank you that we will not hide or be afraid,

801
00:47:07.340 --> 00:47:09.780
but to come into full view of you, God,

802
00:47:09.780 --> 00:47:12.740
that we would allow you to have full access to our hearts,

803
00:47:12.740 --> 00:47:15.340
our minds, our bodies, our spirits, and our souls.

804
00:47:16.780 --> 00:47:21.080
I thank you, Lord God, that any area of our minds

805
00:47:21.080 --> 00:47:25.240
that is still caught up in old ways of thinking,

806
00:47:25.240 --> 00:47:27.760
limiting belief systems, orphan mentalities,

807
00:47:27.760 --> 00:47:29.440
I pray that you would just come in

808
00:47:29.440 --> 00:47:31.040
and reveal those areas to us

809
00:47:31.040 --> 00:47:34.880
so that we can understand the areas

810
00:47:34.880 --> 00:47:38.040
where we still just aren't seeing things clearly

811
00:47:38.040 --> 00:47:41.360
because we have filters or blind spots through brokenness.

812
00:47:41.360 --> 00:47:44.200
And we just thank you for that in advance.

813
00:47:44.200 --> 00:47:45.020
Welcome back.

814
00:47:45.020 --> 00:47:48.680
We have like 30 seconds and everybody will be back with us.

815
00:47:48.680 --> 00:47:51.040
We have a couple of rooms we're still waiting on.

816
00:47:51.760 --> 00:47:52.600
We'll set it up.

817
00:47:57.560 --> 00:47:59.480
That is good, you all.

818
00:47:59.480 --> 00:48:00.720
He's so good at healing.

819
00:48:00.720 --> 00:48:03.260
He knows exactly what you need.

820
00:48:03.260 --> 00:48:04.720
He's the master craftsman.

821
00:48:04.720 --> 00:48:07.540
So just continue to trust him in your process.

822
00:48:07.540 --> 00:48:10.320
He's going to weave everything together

823
00:48:10.320 --> 00:48:11.920
in his perfect timing.

824
00:48:13.360 --> 00:48:14.200
Yes, Lord.

825
00:48:14.200 --> 00:48:15.040
I just heard him say too.

826
00:48:15.040 --> 00:48:17.120
He's going to use some gold thread

827
00:48:17.120 --> 00:48:18.760
to weave some of that stuff back together.

828
00:48:18.760 --> 00:48:20.040
He's going to weave gold in your life.

829
00:48:20.040 --> 00:48:21.440
Some glory.

830
00:48:21.440 --> 00:48:22.920
That's what that is, you all.

831
00:48:22.920 --> 00:48:25.840
His glory is so powerful.

832
00:48:25.840 --> 00:48:27.480
He does amazing work.

833
00:48:27.480 --> 00:48:30.640
He is a great physician and nothing is too hard for him.

834
00:48:30.640 --> 00:48:31.600
Okay.

835
00:48:31.600 --> 00:48:32.440
All right.

836
00:48:32.440 --> 00:48:33.260
Just remember to mute.

837
00:48:33.260 --> 00:48:34.240
Go ahead and mute for me.

838
00:48:34.240 --> 00:48:38.340
And then whoever wants to share with the whole group.

839
00:48:39.600 --> 00:48:41.160
Yeah, Michelle, go ahead.

840
00:48:42.800 --> 00:48:43.860
Number one.

841
00:48:43.860 --> 00:48:44.780
Yeah.

842
00:48:46.120 --> 00:48:46.960
Well, first of all,

843
00:48:46.960 --> 00:48:48.640
I'm still kind of a little bit choked up

844
00:48:48.640 --> 00:48:51.820
about Cindy and Georgette's check-ins.

845
00:48:53.560 --> 00:48:57.240
They're precious women and my heart is grieving,

846
00:48:57.240 --> 00:48:59.680
you know, and feeling for where they're at.

847
00:48:59.680 --> 00:49:04.120
So, but I'll talk about me and let them talk about them.

848
00:49:05.540 --> 00:49:07.640
My worst fear came true.

849
00:49:08.560 --> 00:49:12.320
That when you said earlier, Bethany, in the call,

850
00:49:12.320 --> 00:49:14.820
you said, I just can't feel the loss

851
00:49:14.820 --> 00:49:18.380
of even one more relationship or something like that.

852
00:49:18.380 --> 00:49:21.260
And I think that used to be my fear,

853
00:49:21.260 --> 00:49:23.700
my fear of being alone.

854
00:49:23.700 --> 00:49:27.460
And I have family of origin issues that support that.

855
00:49:27.460 --> 00:49:29.100
Well, actually my fear happened

856
00:49:30.640 --> 00:49:33.380
and I lost my husband five years ago.

857
00:49:34.300 --> 00:49:39.300
And since then I lost my two closest friends, not by death.

858
00:49:39.620 --> 00:49:43.780
My husband was by death, suicide actually.

859
00:49:43.780 --> 00:49:46.780
And my girlfriends were, I had to end the relationship

860
00:49:46.780 --> 00:49:49.180
because they got off the narrow road

861
00:49:49.180 --> 00:49:51.060
and went on the wide road

862
00:49:51.060 --> 00:49:53.940
and they couldn't go where God was sending me.

863
00:49:53.940 --> 00:49:55.640
So those had, and they were toxic.

864
00:49:55.640 --> 00:49:56.840
They ended up being toxic.

865
00:49:56.840 --> 00:49:59.860
They weren't, and they morphed somehow.

866
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.200
And then my sons, and I don't know what's going on,

867
00:50:03.200 --> 00:50:06.280
I have three adult sons and five grandchildren,

868
00:50:06.280 --> 00:50:09.560
and they all just pushed me out of their life.

869
00:50:10.720 --> 00:50:12.080
And I've asked why,

870
00:50:12.080 --> 00:50:14.600
and they won't offer me an explanation.

871
00:50:14.600 --> 00:50:17.520
I think I sent a text about this.

872
00:50:17.520 --> 00:50:21.260
And so I've literally lost

873
00:50:21.260 --> 00:50:22.680
all that was most important to me.

874
00:50:22.680 --> 00:50:26.640
I still have some siblings, but they're very, very busy.

875
00:50:26.640 --> 00:50:28.080
I'm in the middle of a move

876
00:50:28.080 --> 00:50:29.680
and nobody's coming over to help me.

877
00:50:29.680 --> 00:50:32.920
Here I am a widow, a Christian widow,

878
00:50:32.920 --> 00:50:34.400
and I have a Christian family

879
00:50:34.400 --> 00:50:37.180
and nobody's taking some time to come and help me.

880
00:50:37.180 --> 00:50:38.020
But you know what?

881
00:50:38.020 --> 00:50:38.860
I'm doing fine.

882
00:50:38.860 --> 00:50:40.240
I'm packing it up.

883
00:50:40.240 --> 00:50:43.440
I'm purging most things and it's okay.

884
00:50:43.440 --> 00:50:46.880
But the thing is, is what I shared with Cindy and Georgette

885
00:50:46.880 --> 00:50:50.240
is my worst fear came true.

886
00:50:50.240 --> 00:50:51.640
And guess what?

887
00:50:51.640 --> 00:50:53.120
I'm not alone.

888
00:50:53.120 --> 00:50:54.200
That's right.

889
00:50:54.200 --> 00:50:57.580
I have Jesus, I feel his presence.

890
00:50:58.580 --> 00:51:01.300
And I feel stronger than ever

891
00:51:01.300 --> 00:51:05.020
because he is who I really need.

892
00:51:05.020 --> 00:51:08.620
And I think he knew that I always felt that way,

893
00:51:08.620 --> 00:51:10.120
but he needed me to know it.

894
00:51:11.540 --> 00:51:15.140
So I don't know that, I don't think he orchestrated,

895
00:51:15.140 --> 00:51:17.920
he just allowed everybody to do their will

896
00:51:17.920 --> 00:51:18.820
and where I'm at.

897
00:51:18.820 --> 00:51:23.820
And what I really sense is that he's opening the door

898
00:51:24.660 --> 00:51:29.100
for a new life for me, a new spirit mate.

899
00:51:29.100 --> 00:51:31.180
You know, my husband didn't want to be married anymore.

900
00:51:31.180 --> 00:51:32.500
I didn't want to be alive anymore.

901
00:51:32.500 --> 00:51:37.500
So he ended that new with a family, a new family.

902
00:51:38.200 --> 00:51:42.660
And not that I will, my heart soil is still good

903
00:51:42.660 --> 00:51:45.340
for my children to want to come back.

904
00:51:45.340 --> 00:51:49.180
I received them with love and forgiveness,

905
00:51:49.180 --> 00:51:53.180
but right now I can't control their choices.

906
00:51:53.180 --> 00:51:55.380
So it feels like I'm in a really good place.

907
00:51:55.380 --> 00:51:57.820
And even though it still hurts,

908
00:51:57.820 --> 00:52:00.900
like you said with your friends, it still hurts,

909
00:52:00.900 --> 00:52:05.900
but the overarching lesson and value that I got

910
00:52:09.820 --> 00:52:14.820
from that suffering and that lesson is not replaceable.

911
00:52:15.140 --> 00:52:17.580
I wouldn't give it up for the world.

912
00:52:17.580 --> 00:52:18.420
Yes.

913
00:52:18.420 --> 00:52:20.180
There's a song that comes to mind,

914
00:52:20.180 --> 00:52:22.280
a couple of things just real quick.

915
00:52:22.280 --> 00:52:25.840
I used to listen to It Is Well all the time.

916
00:52:25.840 --> 00:52:26.880
I think that's the name of it.

917
00:52:26.880 --> 00:52:28.280
It Is Well With My Soul.

918
00:52:28.280 --> 00:52:29.980
Yeah, but the Bethel version.

919
00:52:29.980 --> 00:52:31.880
I mean, I love it regardless.

920
00:52:31.880 --> 00:52:34.400
I love that song, but the Bethel version especially,

921
00:52:34.400 --> 00:52:39.100
and it really just helped me just in the hardest moments.

922
00:52:39.100 --> 00:52:41.720
And I'm sure people have said this to you before,

923
00:52:41.720 --> 00:52:45.520
but my husband just preached about Job two weekends ago,

924
00:52:45.520 --> 00:52:47.320
and we were looking at the life of Job

925
00:52:47.320 --> 00:52:50.780
and how much he lost and how that all went.

926
00:52:50.780 --> 00:52:54.860
And then God gave him a double portion.

927
00:52:54.860 --> 00:52:57.560
So I just wanna speak a double portion over you, Michelle,

928
00:52:57.560 --> 00:53:00.740
that God is a double portion.

929
00:53:00.740 --> 00:53:02.260
And that doesn't mean like you said

930
00:53:02.260 --> 00:53:04.860
that your kids won't come back around

931
00:53:04.860 --> 00:53:06.620
and you all won't reconcile,

932
00:53:06.620 --> 00:53:09.780
because we're gonna be believing for that, okay?

933
00:53:09.780 --> 00:53:13.100
As a community, I want us to align and pray and believe,

934
00:53:13.100 --> 00:53:14.620
but it takes two, okay?

935
00:53:14.620 --> 00:53:17.420
So just like with my friend, it takes two to tango.

936
00:53:17.420 --> 00:53:19.340
It's gotta be from both sides, right?

937
00:53:19.340 --> 00:53:23.340
And so when those people aren't ready, we love them.

938
00:53:23.340 --> 00:53:26.300
We keep this soil of our heart good, like you said,

939
00:53:26.300 --> 00:53:31.300
and we keep allowing God to heal us and be willing to love,

940
00:53:32.420 --> 00:53:35.220
but just trust that God might be doing something in them

941
00:53:35.220 --> 00:53:36.700
in the process as well.

942
00:53:38.060 --> 00:53:40.540
And even when it doesn't look the way

943
00:53:40.540 --> 00:53:42.380
we think it's supposed to look too,

944
00:53:42.380 --> 00:53:43.860
because y'all sometimes it's like,

945
00:53:43.860 --> 00:53:46.220
we think it should look a certain way.

946
00:53:46.220 --> 00:53:48.340
So that's in the surrender and the letting go

947
00:53:48.340 --> 00:53:50.340
that he can come in and create

948
00:53:50.340 --> 00:53:52.060
a really beautiful masterpiece.

949
00:53:52.060 --> 00:53:55.660
And he's way better at it than we are, isn't he?

950
00:53:55.660 --> 00:53:58.180
So yeah, and I thought of Job too,

951
00:53:58.180 --> 00:54:01.340
because in that book, if y'all remember,

952
00:54:01.340 --> 00:54:05.340
it says the thing that he had feared came upon him.

953
00:54:06.820 --> 00:54:09.740
You all, I don't wanna make you afraid, okay?

954
00:54:09.740 --> 00:54:10.580
Because we're talking about

955
00:54:10.580 --> 00:54:11.820
coming out of alignment with fear,

956
00:54:11.820 --> 00:54:14.460
but here's the reality.

957
00:54:14.460 --> 00:54:16.740
It's not good for us to live in fear,

958
00:54:16.780 --> 00:54:18.100
because those things,

959
00:54:18.100 --> 00:54:22.820
it can actually draw that stuff to us, okay?

960
00:54:22.820 --> 00:54:26.380
So super important for us to come out of alignment with fear

961
00:54:26.380 --> 00:54:27.820
and come into truth,

962
00:54:27.820 --> 00:54:31.380
but also the reality is God is your defender.

963
00:54:31.380 --> 00:54:36.380
He's the one that held you in his hand the whole time, okay?

964
00:54:36.940 --> 00:54:40.180
So we're gonna be shouting and praising the Lord with you

965
00:54:40.180 --> 00:54:42.340
as you step into your double portion season.

966
00:54:42.340 --> 00:54:43.380
I think it's already started.

967
00:54:43.380 --> 00:54:46.060
I think you're just, it's just in the spiritual,

968
00:54:46.100 --> 00:54:46.940
it's already started.

969
00:54:46.940 --> 00:54:49.140
It's just the physical has got to catch up now.

970
00:54:49.140 --> 00:54:50.780
So we're gonna believe that for you.

971
00:54:50.780 --> 00:54:52.980
Thank you so much for sharing with us.

972
00:54:52.980 --> 00:54:54.660
Appreciate that so much.

973
00:54:54.660 --> 00:54:55.900
Erica, go ahead.

974
00:54:59.380 --> 00:55:00.220
Hey.

975
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:07.520
Um so my family of origin is very much um like if you're not perfect and you don't completely meet

976
00:55:08.800 --> 00:55:17.600
their expectations um they just kind of cut you off and I have been cut off and um

977
00:55:19.200 --> 00:55:26.880
and 95% of the time I'm okay with that because it wasn't really a relationship to begin with

978
00:55:27.760 --> 00:55:35.440
um but um I've noticed going through this that certain things bring that up again um I had made

979
00:55:35.440 --> 00:55:42.560
a post and I think it just got lost but because I was vulnerable in that post immediately I became

980
00:55:43.760 --> 00:55:51.920
I went and again this like sideswiped me because I feel like I'm growing in my confidence

981
00:55:52.560 --> 00:55:57.600
I'm able to sort of talk myself through things like if someone gives you a dirty look but I

982
00:55:57.600 --> 00:56:02.640
don't know that before I would have taken that on and now I now I can start to think through

983
00:56:02.640 --> 00:56:12.560
things like they don't know me enough to not like me right and so when the post was unanswered and

984
00:56:12.560 --> 00:56:19.360
it's fine that it was but it's okay is it in the app it is in the app okay I'll go look for it

985
00:56:19.360 --> 00:56:22.960
because I've I've been in there every day so that's kind of interesting that I haven't seen it

986
00:56:22.960 --> 00:56:28.000
but I'll go look maybe maybe I'll post it again after this it's okay I'll I'll go look for it I'll

987
00:56:28.000 --> 00:56:35.040
find it I'll find it in there and and it's okay honestly because it I shared it with my friend

988
00:56:35.040 --> 00:56:40.880
and we talked through it and and it so it accomplished what it needed to accomplish

989
00:56:41.120 --> 00:56:49.360
what my mind went to was immediately like you're too much um you don't have it all together

990
00:56:50.000 --> 00:56:59.840
you're kind of you know um oh just the lies the lies and so this these past couple weeks I've

991
00:56:59.840 --> 00:57:09.280
really learned like wow this is still real in my mind it's it's a lie that I um need to battle

992
00:57:09.920 --> 00:57:15.440
and so I have really been doing that this week and it's it's been a struggle but it's been good

993
00:57:16.960 --> 00:57:22.080
yes okay so here's the thing and I I understand your verbiage a lie that you need to battle but

994
00:57:22.080 --> 00:57:27.600
I just want to cause you to shift the way you're expressing that a little bit because whether we

995
00:57:27.600 --> 00:57:32.560
realize it or not the way we express it is typically how we look at it and so I want you

996
00:57:32.560 --> 00:57:39.920
to consider it's a lie that you need revealed for healing okay so that's where that revealing

997
00:57:39.920 --> 00:57:45.520
for healing cycle is going to really be key for for all of you all but y'all God fights our battles

998
00:57:45.520 --> 00:57:52.560
yes we war and we do battle as well but sometimes some like some of y'all are battling so much

999
00:57:53.760 --> 00:58:00.320
that like you're trying to do God's job too does that make sense not not necessarily you Erica but

1000
00:58:00.320 --> 00:58:05.680
like I do think sometimes we we are pushing we're striving we're trying to figure it out and

1001
00:58:05.680 --> 00:58:09.840
you know you're trying this you're trying that and you feel like nothing's working you're stuck

1002
00:58:09.840 --> 00:58:15.920
well it's because there's healing that needs to happen and in the healing in the resting

1003
00:58:18.000 --> 00:58:26.800
y'all sometimes in the resting rest can be warfare yeah worship can be warfare so many

1004
00:58:26.800 --> 00:58:32.560
times we think we've got to be in there with you know and this is a metaphor but guns blazing right

1005
00:58:33.200 --> 00:58:38.080
trying to make something happen so even with our family and those situations you know really would

1006
00:58:38.080 --> 00:58:43.600
encourage you um and I know that you're I really believe that you're fine with the post but I'm

1007
00:58:43.600 --> 00:58:47.520
kind of surprised that I missed it because I feel like I'm pretty good at getting in there

1008
00:58:47.520 --> 00:58:53.040
but I do think okay so here's the thing y'all I think what she has accomplished out of her

1009
00:58:53.040 --> 00:58:57.120
revelation is really important so I hope you all catch this excuse me

1010
00:58:59.120 --> 00:59:03.760
God used even me not seeing that post for a purpose

1011
00:59:06.240 --> 00:59:10.720
I I almost venture to say there's a part of me that's like okay did God

1012
00:59:12.000 --> 00:59:20.000
hide that post like you know because I'm in there every day so and Bethany you are always so good

1013
00:59:20.000 --> 00:59:25.520
about that that hit me last week because I think I had responded by saying you know thank you so

1014
00:59:25.520 --> 00:59:30.080
much for looking I know you're so good about responding and I was thinking about that as I

1015
00:59:30.080 --> 00:59:38.320
drove into work like could the Lord have made that not be seen so that I can realize wow this still

1016
00:59:38.320 --> 00:59:44.640
needs to be processed so that's honestly why I'm okay that you hadn't responded you know yeah yeah

1017
00:59:44.640 --> 00:59:49.680
and here's the thing too I want to I want y'all to be thinking about this because automatically

1018
00:59:50.240 --> 00:59:56.400
anxiety can rise up in us and the lies start beginning and and some of us attach our identity

1019
00:59:57.760 --> 00:59:59.840
um to getting a word to getting

1020
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:07.440
response. Our culture is social media driven. So many times, even myself, I have to watch myself,

1021
01:00:07.440 --> 01:00:12.720
like constantly looking to see if people liked my post. I'm like, put the phone down. Put the

1022
01:00:12.720 --> 01:00:17.120
phone down. It doesn't matter at the end. I'm just trying to bless people. That's the point.

1023
01:00:17.120 --> 01:00:23.200
The point isn't how many people like it, comment. The point is that, you know, we're sharing. And

1024
01:00:23.200 --> 01:00:28.880
for you all, the point, a lot of you all is to use your voice, even through the text of what

1025
01:00:28.880 --> 01:00:35.680
you're writing. It's for you. It's for you to get that out and break free. So I want to continue to

1026
01:00:35.680 --> 01:00:41.360
encourage you all to keep posting, keep doing it, keep using your voices. I love that revelation,

1027
01:00:41.360 --> 01:00:47.440
Erica. It's so good. So encourage you. Also, when is the first time, you don't have to answer now,

1028
01:00:47.440 --> 01:00:52.560
but this is something I want you to be praying about this week. When is the first time that

1029
01:00:52.640 --> 01:01:00.960
you believed the lie that you were too much? And what was going on in that scenario? And what does

1030
01:01:00.960 --> 01:01:08.400
the Lord want to heal in that situation? Okay. I see a question in the app. Y'all, just so y'all

1031
01:01:08.400 --> 01:01:13.200
know, if you're in the Facebook group, you're right where you need to be. When you move to

1032
01:01:13.200 --> 01:01:17.680
phase two, you'll go to the app. So just, I just don't want people to get distracted from heartwork.

1033
01:01:17.680 --> 01:01:22.320
Okay. All right. And I know it gets confusing because we have a couple of different groups

1034
01:01:22.320 --> 01:01:29.200
all in here now. So I understand why that can be confusing, Shelly. So sorry about that, but

1035
01:01:29.200 --> 01:01:35.120
just everybody's where they need to be. Okay. All right. Erica, thank you for sharing on that. Okay.

1036
01:01:35.120 --> 01:01:39.520
I'm going to take two more now, and then I'm going to shift and we're going to talk about control,

1037
01:01:39.520 --> 01:01:43.600
but anybody else that wanted to share, you can come back. We'll do another, we'll do another

1038
01:01:43.600 --> 01:01:48.240
group share. Okay. So don't, don't feel not seen or heard. All right. All right. Tenora,

1039
01:01:48.240 --> 01:01:55.520
I'd like to hear what you had to share. Yes. Hi, I'm, I'm, I'm really nervous about sharing,

1040
01:01:55.520 --> 01:02:04.400
but I will. So it's kind of three in one. The first one is two facts. Second one is too many kids.

1041
01:02:05.200 --> 01:02:11.440
And then the last one is all men cheat and they can't be trusted. So I grew up in foster care

1042
01:02:11.840 --> 01:02:20.160
and growing up in foster care, I was really just destroyed as a person. And majority of the people

1043
01:02:20.160 --> 01:02:24.640
that was supposed to protect me, which was supposed to be my own father, he chose not to.

1044
01:02:25.200 --> 01:02:35.360
So I grew up automatically feeling like men were the devil. There's no other way to really put it

1045
01:02:36.080 --> 01:02:44.240
I'm out to get me out to kill me out to harm me. I was molested in front of family by men did

1046
01:02:44.240 --> 01:02:54.640
nothing really just tormented. And so I think growing up in that environment and then dead

1047
01:02:54.640 --> 01:03:03.040
in relationships to failed marriages made me really truly feel like I was invisible. If that

1048
01:03:03.040 --> 01:03:09.840
makes any sense, I got the weight. I got the weight loss surgery in 2000. I lost 120 pounds.

1049
01:03:10.880 --> 01:03:16.800
I am currently at 200 pounds. I needed, well, my weight loss goal was supposed to be 180.

1050
01:03:16.800 --> 01:03:22.080
So I'm still 30, 40 pounds out. And I'm still feeling like I'm that 320 pound woman,

1051
01:03:23.680 --> 01:03:32.560
five kids, two divorces. It's just this week has really just been making me feel way down,

1052
01:03:32.560 --> 01:03:39.120
way down in my weight, way down in my mind, way down with my job, which I actually

1053
01:03:39.120 --> 01:03:43.920
loved at one point. Now I'm starting to feel like I'm not sure if I like the job anymore.

1054
01:03:44.640 --> 01:03:50.080
What are you on to Nora? Just so I know. So this is I'm in phase four, I believe

1055
01:03:51.680 --> 01:03:58.880
you're in forgiveness. Yes. I'm in forgiveness. So trying to forgive myself at the same time of

1056
01:03:59.440 --> 01:04:05.840
not really understanding who I am in some areas. What exactly does this mean? It's just kind of all

1057
01:04:05.840 --> 01:04:14.000
those three things meshed in one. Okay. All right. So here is a couple things real quick.

1058
01:04:14.720 --> 01:04:19.200
So the most powerful thing, you know, the scripture talks about loving our neighbor

1059
01:04:19.200 --> 01:04:26.560
as we love ourselves, okay. Loving our neighbor as we love ourselves. And so I would encourage

1060
01:04:27.520 --> 01:04:31.760
you to really, as you're thinking about forgiveness and feeling like it's hard to

1061
01:04:31.760 --> 01:04:38.960
forgive yourself, I want you to also focus on the fact that God wants to help you learn how

1062
01:04:38.960 --> 01:04:46.800
to love yourself. Okay. You all so many times when brokenness and we make mistakes, self-hatred can

1063
01:04:46.800 --> 01:04:52.000
come in self-loathing, especially people that have gone through forms of abuse on any level.

1064
01:04:52.000 --> 01:04:59.280
Um, they can really reject their bodies in a lot of different ways. So I want to encourage you to

1065
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:05.980
you're, as you're working through this week and you're feeling like all that pressure

1066
01:05:05.980 --> 01:05:12.780
just to really extend a lot of grace. Okay. So if you need extra rest, if you need, you

1067
01:05:12.780 --> 01:05:19.520
know, extra sunshine, whatever it is, like to give yourself permission to do the things

1068
01:05:19.520 --> 01:05:25.120
that you need to do to care for yourself really well, because you're on the way through, okay.

1069
01:05:25.120 --> 01:05:32.820
This week can be tough. A lot of people forgiving themselves is the one that's the hardest.

1070
01:05:32.820 --> 01:05:38.080
And so I want you to know you're not alone in your struggle that you're feeling. And

1071
01:05:38.080 --> 01:05:42.800
the other thing is just, you know, a lot of people feel like, and I don't know if this

1072
01:05:42.800 --> 01:05:46.140
is part of what you're struggling with. A lot of people feel like when we forgive, like

1073
01:05:46.140 --> 01:05:51.160
it's like, someone's asking us to forget this stuff happened, but God's not asking us to

1074
01:05:51.160 --> 01:05:57.840
forget. He's just saying, forgive as I forgave you. We're extending grace to ourselves and

1075
01:05:57.840 --> 01:06:04.080
to others the same way that Jesus Christ died on the cross and he shed his blood for us

1076
01:06:04.080 --> 01:06:09.960
to be forgiven for us to be healed. But also again, remember you, I'll always try to remind

1077
01:06:09.960 --> 01:06:17.240
us as a group. He also did it to create us in a way to be in relationship with him, just

1078
01:06:17.240 --> 01:06:20.960
as he's in relationship with the father relationship with the Holy spirit. So it was

1079
01:06:20.960 --> 01:06:29.320
always about relationship. So God's biggest concern for all of us is us being closer to

1080
01:06:29.320 --> 01:06:35.680
him being in relationships. So if you think of it as, you know, how can I learn to love

1081
01:06:35.680 --> 01:06:43.240
myself more as I learn also to love God more and let him love me more? Because I think

1082
01:06:43.240 --> 01:06:47.720
a lot of us, you know, even we go to church and we learn about love and you know, God

1083
01:06:47.720 --> 01:06:51.800
is love God, you know, yes, yes. God loves me. God loves me. And we say that, but so

1084
01:06:51.800 --> 01:06:59.880
many times we struggle to receive it, like to really like receive God's love and affirmation.

1085
01:06:59.880 --> 01:07:05.320
It says in his word that he removes our sins. As far as the East is from the West, he forgets

1086
01:07:05.320 --> 01:07:14.760
them like they don't even exist anymore. As soon as we ask for forgiveness, it is gone.

1087
01:07:14.760 --> 01:07:23.880
It's gone. But we, the enemy, we, we believe his lies and we allow him to continue to shackle

1088
01:07:23.880 --> 01:07:32.200
us over and over and over again with this stuff. And sometimes y'all, I was just thinking

1089
01:07:32.200 --> 01:07:36.360
about this the other day, crazy stuff. I've had thoughts like coming back to my mind that

1090
01:07:36.360 --> 01:07:41.600
I have gotten over long ago. And I said to the Lord the other day, like, what is going

1091
01:07:41.600 --> 01:07:46.400
on with this? This is stuff I've gotten over like 10 years ago. Where's this coming from?

1092
01:07:46.400 --> 01:07:54.040
And he said, the enemy is trying to assault your mind, assault it. A S S A U L T assault.

1093
01:07:54.040 --> 01:07:58.640
The enemy will try to assault our minds with stuff because if he can wear us down in our

1094
01:07:58.640 --> 01:08:06.720
minds, you all, he can wear us down. But you know what? Guess what? Do y'all know what

1095
01:08:06.720 --> 01:08:13.920
God gave us in the armor that goes on our heads? The helmet of salvation. Y'all serious.

1096
01:08:13.920 --> 01:08:18.200
I know I'm kind of like making light a little bit of this, but the armor of God is something

1097
01:08:18.200 --> 01:08:25.359
we should put on every day. The helmet of salvation to remember that I am saved. I'm

1098
01:08:25.359 --> 01:08:29.840
covered by the blood of the lamb, by the blood of the lamb and the word of my testimony,

1099
01:08:29.840 --> 01:08:36.080
I will rise and I will go forth. And the same can be true for all of you. Tanora, you are

1100
01:08:36.240 --> 01:08:45.359
made white as snow sister. And last thing I want to say is when you said, I still feel like

1101
01:08:46.640 --> 01:08:51.120
a 300, you said 300 something. So I don't want to say the wrong number pound women,

1102
01:08:52.720 --> 01:08:58.960
320 pound women in a 200 pound body. Okay. So, okay. So what I want you to really be

1103
01:08:58.960 --> 01:09:12.000
asking the Lord to help you with is to accept your body to love who you are on the inside.

1104
01:09:14.000 --> 01:09:17.920
And yes, I think we should work on our bodies. Y'all, I think I've been telling you, I've been

1105
01:09:17.920 --> 01:09:25.359
doing that too, but God has spoken to me so many times over and over and over learn to love

1106
01:09:26.000 --> 01:09:32.640
yourself now, not just the smaller me, not just, you know, hair done, make it like

1107
01:09:32.640 --> 01:09:37.279
looking in the mirror and learning how to love myself.

1108
01:09:39.279 --> 01:09:46.000
And say, I mean, just a second and say, I think my body was the first thing that was defiled.

1109
01:09:46.000 --> 01:09:52.720
If that makes any sense, my body was the first thing that I felt like was

1110
01:09:52.720 --> 01:09:58.960
nasty or ugly or tore up. If that makes any sense.

1111
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.840
does. I don't know if you were on to Nora the week that I talked

1112
01:10:03.840 --> 01:10:06.600
about going through sexual abuse as well. And when you just said

1113
01:10:06.600 --> 01:10:08.080
that, I'm going to share one other thing. And then I'm going

1114
01:10:08.080 --> 01:10:10.720
to start to talk about our content because I want to make

1115
01:10:10.720 --> 01:10:15.200
sure we have time to get it in. The Lord told me just now when

1116
01:10:15.200 --> 01:10:17.960
you said that about your body was the first thing defiled. I

1117
01:10:17.960 --> 01:10:23.080
heard him so gently and quickly say tell her that her body did

1118
01:10:23.080 --> 01:10:29.200
not reject like your body didn't reject you basically,

1119
01:10:29.200 --> 01:10:33.520
like, it didn't, it wasn't angry with you. It wasn't your fault,

1120
01:10:33.520 --> 01:10:39.320
like, like, basically, what he's saying is like your body, what

1121
01:10:39.320 --> 01:10:49.760
you felt didn't become a nasty thing. And so we're going to be

1122
01:10:49.760 --> 01:10:53.000
praying and I'll remember as you guys start to go into

1123
01:10:53.000 --> 01:10:56.240
breakouts here in a little bit, I'll remember to pray, you know,

1124
01:10:56.240 --> 01:10:59.120
for a lot of you all that there would be convergence that would

1125
01:10:59.120 --> 01:11:02.760
start to happen where you would start to come back into

1126
01:11:02.760 --> 01:11:06.680
connection with your younger bodies, and self hatred and

1127
01:11:06.680 --> 01:11:17.560
self loathing and body rejection issues would go away. Some of

1128
01:11:17.560 --> 01:11:20.320
y'all really want to encourage you I know this is probably

1129
01:11:20.320 --> 01:11:24.440
like, little elementary kind of schoolish, but like, literally,

1130
01:11:24.440 --> 01:11:29.240
I just feel like so many of y'all just kind of need to wrap

1131
01:11:29.240 --> 01:11:35.560
yourself up in your own arms and hug yourself. No, we don't we

1132
01:11:35.560 --> 01:11:41.960
don't. We don't take enough time to love us. And then we want to

1133
01:11:41.960 --> 01:11:47.120
try to go out and love other people. So tonight, I'm serious

1134
01:11:47.120 --> 01:11:51.480
when some of y'all get off this live, I want you just to just to

1135
01:11:51.480 --> 01:11:54.480
lay there and put your arms around yourself and ask God to

1136
01:11:54.480 --> 01:12:00.200
help you feel his love. And just soak in it a little bit. Even if

1137
01:12:00.200 --> 01:12:05.080
you don't feel the feels, just just just believe by faith that

1138
01:12:05.080 --> 01:12:10.160
as you're doing the action of it, that you're experiencing a

1139
01:12:10.160 --> 01:12:13.840
hug from heaven, that you're learning how to love yourself a

1140
01:12:13.840 --> 01:12:19.400
little bit more. Okay. All right. All right. I'm sorry,

1141
01:12:19.400 --> 01:12:23.560
ladies that have your hands up. I love you. Stay there. When you

1142
01:12:23.560 --> 01:12:26.720
come we come back. I'll try to bring you in the loop again.

1143
01:12:26.720 --> 01:12:30.440
Okay, control. I got to go here tonight. We have to talk about

1144
01:12:30.440 --> 01:12:37.240
it. You all we love to control don't we? Who are my control

1145
01:12:37.240 --> 01:12:40.280
freaks? Can I see in the chat? Tell me tell me are you a

1146
01:12:40.280 --> 01:12:43.240
control freak? Tell me something you're struggling to control

1147
01:12:43.240 --> 01:12:47.120
right now in your life. What are you trying to control? Let

1148
01:12:47.120 --> 01:12:51.880
me see it. Let me see it. Put in the chat. All right, while

1149
01:12:51.880 --> 01:12:55.160
you're doing that. All right, money. Let's see some more.

1150
01:12:57.000 --> 01:13:00.760
Control is an illusion you all. It's a misleading image,

1151
01:13:00.760 --> 01:13:03.800
something that misleads us intellectually, physically,

1152
01:13:03.800 --> 01:13:08.360
emotionally, all of the things. Okay, oh, good. I see some more

1153
01:13:08.360 --> 01:13:11.800
here future now it's starting to go. It's so funny. It takes a

1154
01:13:11.800 --> 01:13:14.600
while and then they just start to fly future plans everything.

1155
01:13:15.120 --> 01:13:19.800
Sure. I everything she says I'm trying to control it all. I love

1156
01:13:19.800 --> 01:13:22.640
it. She's being honest stuff at work. I try to control what I

1157
01:13:22.640 --> 01:13:29.600
get afraid of. Okay. Oh, that's good. Shelly. My schedule. I'm

1158
01:13:29.600 --> 01:13:32.680
trying to control my job and where I live finances trying to

1159
01:13:32.680 --> 01:13:36.240
figure out unknowns. Unknowns came up earlier today as well

1160
01:13:36.240 --> 01:13:41.880
outcomes. My house has to be clean. All right, or what

1161
01:13:41.920 --> 01:13:46.880
Natalia fear controlling. Okay, so you struggle to control to

1162
01:13:46.880 --> 01:13:50.360
have your house clean. Tell me more. I feel like there's

1163
01:13:50.360 --> 01:13:53.320
something bigger. They're not making any mistakes over

1164
01:13:53.320 --> 01:13:58.680
thinking I want my everything my way kids and future time and

1165
01:13:58.680 --> 01:14:03.240
money. There's so many y'all I love this. Get these things in

1166
01:14:03.240 --> 01:14:06.160
here because this is what you're going to start letting go of

1167
01:14:06.160 --> 01:14:13.080
tonight. All right. Healthy people who walk in victory don't

1168
01:14:13.080 --> 01:14:17.840
try to control other people. They know it doesn't work. Y'all

1169
01:14:17.880 --> 01:14:22.600
it doesn't work. So we just need to stop trying to control

1170
01:14:22.600 --> 01:14:27.800
people. It's not our job. Okay, healthy people know it's not our

1171
01:14:27.800 --> 01:14:31.400
job to control people. You know what we can only control in a

1172
01:14:31.400 --> 01:14:39.120
sense or change who this person us I can only impact and change

1173
01:14:39.120 --> 01:14:44.800
my own self. And guess what you all even when you get married

1174
01:14:47.160 --> 01:14:53.240
is the same. You can't control people. Okay. I'm kind of Joe. I

1175
01:14:53.240 --> 01:14:57.040
mean, y'all in love you submit to one another. We're going to

1176
01:14:57.040 --> 01:15:00.160
talk about submission next week. We are coming here

1177
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.700
about it, it's going to be good and spicy. But um, you all in

1178
01:15:04.700 --> 01:15:07.980
marriage, we submit to one another in love, but we don't

1179
01:15:07.980 --> 01:15:13.620
control and manipulate each other. Okay. What areas of your

1180
01:15:13.620 --> 01:15:16.240
life do you struggle to let go of control? Are you struggling

1181
01:15:16.240 --> 01:15:20.040
to let go of controlling people, places, things, here's some

1182
01:15:20.040 --> 01:15:24.000
perceptions. Some of you all are safe, right? I almost feel like

1183
01:15:24.320 --> 01:15:29.320
that house one, having the house clean feels connected there for

1184
01:15:29.320 --> 01:15:32.320
me somehow. Again, I don't remember who wrote that. But

1185
01:15:32.320 --> 01:15:36.040
Natalia was that Natalia is the only thing I can control. Yes.

1186
01:15:36.040 --> 01:15:40.040
So when life gets out of control, okay. All right. Hey,

1187
01:15:40.040 --> 01:15:43.640
Natalia, my youngest spiritual daughter has OCD with cleaning

1188
01:15:43.640 --> 01:15:47.240
the house when she gets really stressed out. I feel like

1189
01:15:47.240 --> 01:15:51.920
there's a connection there. And a lot of times it's because of

1190
01:15:51.960 --> 01:15:57.280
unhealed trauma from the past and fragmentation. So I want you

1191
01:15:57.280 --> 01:16:01.320
to pray into that a little bit more. Okay. perceptions are we

1192
01:16:01.320 --> 01:16:05.000
trying to like cause everyone to think we have it all together

1193
01:16:05.000 --> 01:16:07.840
that we never mess up that whatever, okay, whatever the

1194
01:16:07.840 --> 01:16:11.760
perception is that we've got all the designer stuff. Some people,

1195
01:16:11.840 --> 01:16:14.320
you know, we've got to have the name brand everything because

1196
01:16:14.320 --> 01:16:19.720
there's a perception of control. Maybe it's having straight A's

1197
01:16:19.720 --> 01:16:22.720
maybe it's you know, certain level in your job. I don't know

1198
01:16:22.720 --> 01:16:26.560
you all but you guys you know what what it is. Maybe your area

1199
01:16:26.560 --> 01:16:30.200
where you struggle to control is an outcome. We talked a

1200
01:16:30.200 --> 01:16:32.920
little bit about family tonight you all didn't we and

1201
01:16:32.920 --> 01:16:35.320
reconciliation that needs to happen. I talked about

1202
01:16:35.320 --> 01:16:40.240
friendship one that man I would love to control that outcome. I

1203
01:16:40.240 --> 01:16:46.560
know the outcome I want but I have to just surrender and put

1204
01:16:46.560 --> 01:16:50.760
that on my Jesus cares board and trust that God is going to take

1205
01:16:50.760 --> 01:16:54.280
care of that situation. Are you trying to avoid pain and getting

1206
01:16:54.280 --> 01:16:58.400
hurt? How many of you are trying to control because you're trying

1207
01:16:58.400 --> 01:17:03.800
to make sure nobody hurts you. So you got this barbed wire. I

1208
01:17:03.800 --> 01:17:07.240
just watched this movie last night. It's really cute on

1209
01:17:07.240 --> 01:17:09.920
Netflix. Harry Connick Jr. was in it. I don't remember

1210
01:17:09.960 --> 01:17:13.800
something falling. I don't remember. Anyways point it just

1211
01:17:13.800 --> 01:17:17.760
made me think about it. The movie these people come to this

1212
01:17:17.760 --> 01:17:21.800
cliff and they just they were jumping off and so he starts the

1213
01:17:21.800 --> 01:17:23.960
movies trying to build this fence because he doesn't want

1214
01:17:23.960 --> 01:17:27.360
people to do that. There's this whole theme of this fence. I

1215
01:17:27.360 --> 01:17:30.320
just felt led to bring that up. Sometimes we're these fences

1216
01:17:30.320 --> 01:17:33.520
we're trying to avoid pain. You know, we're trying to avoid

1217
01:17:33.520 --> 01:17:37.160
suffering. We're trying to avoid even other people suffering. And

1218
01:17:37.160 --> 01:17:39.960
so sometimes we even tell our friends things that's not true

1219
01:17:39.960 --> 01:17:43.880
because we just want them to be happy. And sometimes our friends

1220
01:17:43.880 --> 01:17:46.840
do that to us, don't they? Everybody just wants us to be

1221
01:17:46.840 --> 01:17:50.280
happy. That's not a bad thing, but it can get out of balance,

1222
01:17:50.280 --> 01:17:55.240
right? Are you trying to keep people where you want them so

1223
01:17:55.240 --> 01:18:01.120
that they don't hurt you? Y'all, this isn't abundant living. If

1224
01:18:01.120 --> 01:18:06.120
we're doing those things, that's not abundance. What can we

1225
01:18:06.120 --> 01:18:10.440
control? We can control our beliefs about God and other

1226
01:18:10.440 --> 01:18:13.200
people. We can control our responses. Remember, I've been

1227
01:18:13.200 --> 01:18:19.520
talking instead of reacting that we would respond instead that we

1228
01:18:19.520 --> 01:18:22.880
would pause and like, Lord, what do you think about this?

1229
01:18:23.600 --> 01:18:27.920
Help me not to get triggered. And if I get triggered, help me

1230
01:18:27.920 --> 01:18:30.240
to recognize why am I getting offended? Why am I getting

1231
01:18:30.240 --> 01:18:35.040
triggered? What are you trying to show me? We can control our

1232
01:18:35.040 --> 01:18:38.280
boundaries that we set with people. But I do want to

1233
01:18:38.280 --> 01:18:41.440
caution you all sometimes we get we get out of balance with our

1234
01:18:41.440 --> 01:18:45.040
boundaries. And we just put so many boundaries in place as

1235
01:18:45.040 --> 01:18:49.920
self-protection. Because again, we just we don't want anyone to

1236
01:18:49.920 --> 01:18:54.320
hurt us. So you got to have balance there. Remember to lean

1237
01:18:54.320 --> 01:18:58.840
into being God defended as well, ladies, that you are embraced in

1238
01:18:58.840 --> 01:19:03.560
God's love. Isaiah 26.3 says you will keep him in perfect peace

1239
01:19:03.560 --> 01:19:08.160
those whose minds are stayed upon you because they trust in

1240
01:19:08.160 --> 01:19:14.640
you. So when we trust in God, and we keep our minds steadfast

1241
01:19:14.640 --> 01:19:20.960
upon him, he'll keep us in perfect peace you all. It's time

1242
01:19:20.960 --> 01:19:24.840
to yield control. It's time to give in it's time to let go to

1243
01:19:24.840 --> 01:19:30.720
concede to who to God not to not to people. But to God, it's

1244
01:19:30.720 --> 01:19:36.520
time to wave the white flag and admit God, I can't do this

1245
01:19:36.760 --> 01:19:41.520
anymore. I've tried to control these situations and these

1246
01:19:41.520 --> 01:19:46.960
people and these things. And it isn't going where I want it to

1247
01:19:46.960 --> 01:19:52.240
go. I can't do this anymore. So you're going to go into

1248
01:19:52.240 --> 01:19:55.400
breakout. I'm going to put you in there for five minutes total

1249
01:19:55.400 --> 01:19:58.760
for this breakout. I want you to talk about where are you going

1250
01:19:58.760 --> 01:19:59.800
to let go of control.

1251
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:02.400
Okay, it's going to be short and sweet.

1252
01:20:02.400 --> 01:20:04.080
I'm going to put two people in every breakout,

1253
01:20:04.080 --> 01:20:08.560
so you have two and a half minutes to talk about this.

1254
01:20:08.560 --> 01:20:12.720
Got to break these rooms down a little bit more.

1255
01:20:13.160 --> 01:20:16.940
If some of you go in and there's one of you in a room,

1256
01:20:16.940 --> 01:20:18.040
just stay there for a minute,

1257
01:20:18.040 --> 01:20:19.160
okay, because I have a couple,

1258
01:20:19.160 --> 01:20:20.040
there might be just one.

1259
01:20:20.040 --> 01:20:22.960
I'll move you, so don't worry,

1260
01:20:22.960 --> 01:20:25.720
and I'll try to do it as quick as possible.

1261
01:20:25.720 --> 01:20:28.200
Okay, there you go.

1262
01:21:00.000 --> 01:21:18.360
Father, thank you so much for your goodness.

1263
01:21:18.360 --> 01:21:20.640
God, thank you for reminding us that we don't have to

1264
01:21:20.640 --> 01:21:25.000
control any situation or anything, any circumstance.

1265
01:21:25.000 --> 01:21:28.040
God, we don't have to control perceptions or outcomes,

1266
01:21:28.040 --> 01:21:30.080
that we are God defended,

1267
01:21:30.080 --> 01:21:32.680
that you are warring even right now on our behalf,

1268
01:21:32.680 --> 01:21:34.640
that you're sending and dispatching.

1269
01:21:34.640 --> 01:21:36.200
I believe that by faith,

1270
01:21:36.200 --> 01:21:41.280
that you're sending and dispatching angels to fight for us.

1271
01:21:41.280 --> 01:21:44.320
Help us to hear what your spirit is saying.

1272
01:21:44.320 --> 01:21:47.320
Thank you, Lord, that you would help

1273
01:21:47.320 --> 01:21:50.820
us to continue to embrace your truth tonight,

1274
01:21:50.820 --> 01:21:54.720
that you would help us to hear just the whispers of heaven,

1275
01:21:54.720 --> 01:21:56.640
what you're speaking over us,

1276
01:21:56.680 --> 01:21:58.160
the areas that you're coming in.

1277
01:21:58.160 --> 01:21:59.880
We thank you for the balm of Gilead

1278
01:21:59.880 --> 01:22:03.320
being placed upon our hearts, our minds, our bodies,

1279
01:22:03.320 --> 01:22:05.200
our spirits, and our souls.

1280
01:22:07.120 --> 01:22:08.960
We thank you for the healing balm.

1281
01:22:08.960 --> 01:22:13.000
We thank you for just loving us unconditionally,

1282
01:22:14.520 --> 01:22:15.880
making us white as snow.

1283
01:22:15.880 --> 01:22:18.760
I thank you, Lord, that you're causing us to be

1284
01:22:18.760 --> 01:22:20.800
like Psalm 1 3 declares,

1285
01:22:20.800 --> 01:22:24.000
that we will be standing firm like a flourishing tree

1286
01:22:24.000 --> 01:22:25.640
planted by God's design,

1287
01:22:25.640 --> 01:22:28.760
deeply rooted by the brooks of bliss,

1288
01:22:28.760 --> 01:22:32.060
bearing fruit in every season of our lives.

1289
01:22:33.000 --> 01:22:35.160
We are never dry, never fainting,

1290
01:22:35.160 --> 01:22:37.680
ever blessed and ever prosperous.

1291
01:22:37.680 --> 01:22:39.160
Lord, I thank you that you'll help us

1292
01:22:39.160 --> 01:22:42.160
to begin to live the prosperous life,

1293
01:22:42.160 --> 01:22:46.620
that we would walk in prosperous mindsets and mentalities,

1294
01:22:46.620 --> 01:22:49.960
that we would lay aside the weights that do ensnare us

1295
01:22:49.960 --> 01:22:52.880
so easily and press on toward the high calling

1296
01:22:52.880 --> 01:22:55.200
that you have for our lives.

1297
01:22:55.200 --> 01:22:59.360
I thank you that you help us to hear, to see,

1298
01:22:59.360 --> 01:23:02.240
and to move and take action quickly,

1299
01:23:02.240 --> 01:23:03.960
that faith without works is dead.

1300
01:23:03.960 --> 01:23:06.560
So I thank you that we combine our faith with our works

1301
01:23:06.560 --> 01:23:08.360
and that we take imperfect action

1302
01:23:08.360 --> 01:23:11.320
to move towards your grace and your goodness.

1303
01:23:11.320 --> 01:23:14.080
And I thank you that you are just,

1304
01:23:14.080 --> 01:23:18.080
you never give up on us, Lord, you never give up on us.

1305
01:23:18.080 --> 01:23:20.600
Philippians 1 6 in the message version says,

1306
01:23:20.600 --> 01:23:23.160
there has never been the slightest doubt in my mind

1307
01:23:23.160 --> 01:23:25.080
that the God who started this great work

1308
01:23:25.080 --> 01:23:27.200
and you would keep at it and bring it

1309
01:23:27.200 --> 01:23:29.760
to a flourishing finish on the very day

1310
01:23:29.760 --> 01:23:31.640
Christ Jesus appears.

1311
01:23:31.640 --> 01:23:34.040
God, we thank you that you're always finishing the work,

1312
01:23:34.040 --> 01:23:37.400
that you're continuing to work in us even right now.

1313
01:23:37.400 --> 01:23:39.020
That Jesus, I thank you that you're sitting

1314
01:23:39.020 --> 01:23:42.040
at the right hand of the Father, interceding for us,

1315
01:23:42.040 --> 01:23:46.340
believing for us, praying for us right now.

1316
01:23:47.340 --> 01:23:51.060
Yes, Lord, I thank you that even in Philippians 3 2,

1317
01:23:51.060 --> 01:23:52.180
it says, I don't mean to say

1318
01:23:52.180 --> 01:23:53.620
that I've already achieved these things

1319
01:23:53.620 --> 01:23:55.660
or that I've already reached perfection,

1320
01:23:55.660 --> 01:23:58.020
but I press on to possess that perfection

1321
01:23:58.020 --> 01:24:00.900
for which Christ Jesus first possessed us.

1322
01:24:00.900 --> 01:24:03.740
I thank you, Lord, that you would help us

1323
01:24:03.740 --> 01:24:06.020
to learn a little bit more about the fullness

1324
01:24:06.020 --> 01:24:07.900
of who you originally created us to be

1325
01:24:07.900 --> 01:24:10.660
before trauma ever entered our lives,

1326
01:24:10.660 --> 01:24:12.340
before we ever believed a lie.

1327
01:24:12.340 --> 01:24:14.620
Help us to see ourselves through your eyes

1328
01:24:14.660 --> 01:24:18.180
and understand your view of us.

1329
01:24:18.180 --> 01:24:21.140
Help us to come out of alignment with self-hatred,

1330
01:24:21.140 --> 01:24:24.060
self-rejection, any kind of anger, wrath,

1331
01:24:24.060 --> 01:24:27.080
malice, outbursts of rage, violence,

1332
01:24:27.080 --> 01:24:29.900
violent thoughts that we have towards people or situations.

1333
01:24:29.900 --> 01:24:32.260
I thank you that you would help us to embrace

1334
01:24:32.260 --> 01:24:33.740
all the fruits of the Holy Spirit,

1335
01:24:33.740 --> 01:24:36.060
which are love, joy, peace, kindness,

1336
01:24:36.060 --> 01:24:38.540
goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,

1337
01:24:38.540 --> 01:24:41.500
and self-control, forbearance is in there somewhere.

1338
01:24:41.500 --> 01:24:43.060
I think it might've been one of those words I said,

1339
01:24:43.060 --> 01:24:45.180
but thank you, God, that you help us to walk

1340
01:24:45.180 --> 01:24:49.220
in those fruits and that we can be an example

1341
01:24:49.220 --> 01:24:51.380
of your goodness and your mercy

1342
01:24:51.380 --> 01:24:53.600
and your grace to those around us.

1343
01:24:54.740 --> 01:24:56.380
I thank you, Lord, that when we struggle

1344
01:24:56.380 --> 01:24:58.380
with doubt and unbelief, that we can say,

1345
01:24:58.380 --> 01:25:00.180
God, help my unbelief, that you.

1346
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:02.000
You don't turn us away.

1347
01:25:03.200 --> 01:25:07.400
And I thank you that even as Erica was sharing earlier, you

1348
01:25:07.400 --> 01:25:11.100
never have an opinion that we have to have it all together.

1349
01:25:11.800 --> 01:25:14.500
I thank you that there's only one perfect one and his name is

1350
01:25:14.500 --> 01:25:17.500
Jesus Christ and I thank you that you are continuing to work

1351
01:25:17.500 --> 01:25:23.900
in us and move and shift things in us to help us to know what

1352
01:25:23.900 --> 01:25:26.600
is your good good and perfect plan for us.

1353
01:25:27.400 --> 01:25:30.700
I thank you that you didn't bring harm or destruction, but

1354
01:25:30.700 --> 01:25:34.300
you have a plan that's full of good things.

1355
01:25:35.200 --> 01:25:38.400
And I thank you that you're continuing to align us with all

1356
01:25:38.400 --> 01:25:39.400
of those things.

1357
01:25:41.700 --> 01:25:46.200
Yes, Lord y'all sometimes it just you know, like I feel like

1358
01:25:46.200 --> 01:25:49.400
I just see in the spirit like just the Lord has taken lies

1359
01:25:49.400 --> 01:25:51.800
and swiping them right off of minds tonight.

1360
01:25:52.700 --> 01:25:54.100
So just even for some of you.

1361
01:25:54.100 --> 01:25:56.200
I just want to encourage you just kind of like do that

1362
01:25:56.200 --> 01:25:57.100
motion like Lord.

1363
01:25:57.100 --> 01:26:00.000
Thank you for getting rid of the lies off my mind tonight.

1364
01:26:00.600 --> 01:26:03.300
Thank you for helping me to hear what your spirit is saying

1365
01:26:03.300 --> 01:26:05.300
help my heart to receive your truth.

1366
01:26:06.800 --> 01:26:10.600
There's a scripture that talks about stubborn stony hearts

1367
01:26:10.600 --> 01:26:13.300
hardened hearts and Lord help us.

1368
01:26:13.300 --> 01:26:16.600
It says to have a heart of flesh that's soft and pliable to

1369
01:26:16.600 --> 01:26:17.200
you.

1370
01:26:18.800 --> 01:26:21.500
Y'all know what creates stony hardened hearts.

1371
01:26:22.200 --> 01:26:23.000
It's pain.

1372
01:26:23.600 --> 01:26:27.200
It's pain and brokenness things that are not healed harm

1373
01:26:27.200 --> 01:26:28.700
that's been done to us.

1374
01:26:29.200 --> 01:26:32.500
And so by God's goodness and his grace, he's wanting to wipe

1375
01:26:32.500 --> 01:26:33.900
the slate clean.

1376
01:26:33.900 --> 01:26:36.700
Okay, he wants to give you a brand new start.

1377
01:26:38.300 --> 01:26:42.100
Wants to give you a brand new start and literally I know

1378
01:26:42.100 --> 01:26:48.000
this might shock you but your start now could cause you to

1379
01:26:48.000 --> 01:26:51.200
enter the scripture that talks about your latter years.

1380
01:26:51.200 --> 01:26:53.900
Might be greater than your former years.

1381
01:26:54.400 --> 01:26:57.400
I remember the first time I read that scripture years ago

1382
01:26:57.400 --> 01:26:59.100
and I that was another scripture.

1383
01:26:59.100 --> 01:27:02.000
I really clung to that because I had so much pain in my

1384
01:27:02.000 --> 01:27:06.300
childhood you all like even even still today.

1385
01:27:06.300 --> 01:27:07.300
I don't feel the pain of it.

1386
01:27:07.300 --> 01:27:10.600
But sometimes when I sit and think about and I write down

1387
01:27:10.600 --> 01:27:14.800
my timeline my family timeline like I'm just like it's crazy

1388
01:27:14.800 --> 01:27:19.700
that that was my life because now I just feel like that wasn't

1389
01:27:19.800 --> 01:27:22.300
I just feel like that wasn't my life because I'm living.

1390
01:27:22.300 --> 01:27:24.600
I feel like I live a completely different life now.

1391
01:27:26.800 --> 01:27:30.200
So just know that God can do that in you as well.

1392
01:27:31.200 --> 01:27:33.500
Michelle, you know what I need to look up.

1393
01:27:33.500 --> 01:27:36.900
I have I that scripture comes up in my spirit a lot.

1394
01:27:36.900 --> 01:27:37.900
I should know where that's at.

1395
01:27:37.900 --> 01:27:42.200
But the latter years are greater than the former years.

1396
01:27:42.200 --> 01:27:43.200
Somebody is really quick.

1397
01:27:43.200 --> 01:27:45.000
If you want to look that up for that us and put that in

1398
01:27:45.000 --> 01:27:45.600
the chat.

1399
01:27:45.600 --> 01:27:47.800
I will would really greatly appreciate that.

1400
01:27:47.900 --> 01:27:48.700
Okay, who am I?

1401
01:27:48.800 --> 01:27:51.900
I had we won't have time for four.

1402
01:27:52.000 --> 01:27:54.700
I probably have time for two who want?

1403
01:27:54.700 --> 01:27:55.500
Okay, Michelle.

1404
01:27:55.500 --> 01:27:56.100
Go ahead.

1405
01:27:58.100 --> 01:27:59.600
Is that the Michelle with two L's?

1406
01:28:00.200 --> 01:28:01.200
Yes, ma'am.

1407
01:28:03.100 --> 01:28:05.900
I didn't notice when she said Michelle with the one and I

1408
01:28:05.900 --> 01:28:08.100
was oh, sorry was talking about.

1409
01:28:09.600 --> 01:28:09.900
Okay.

1410
01:28:09.900 --> 01:28:13.400
So this is part of the one that I was going to share in the

1411
01:28:13.400 --> 01:28:16.000
first breakout and I never got to because I don't think I was

1412
01:28:16.000 --> 01:28:21.000
ready but I was able to share it with my new friend Jessica

1413
01:28:21.000 --> 01:28:21.700
in this group.

1414
01:28:21.700 --> 01:28:27.600
But one of the things I need to let go is the control of

1415
01:28:29.100 --> 01:28:33.000
my daughter and controlling her choices.

1416
01:28:33.600 --> 01:28:37.500
She's been making some poor decisions as a young 15 year

1417
01:28:37.500 --> 01:28:37.700
old.

1418
01:28:37.700 --> 01:28:40.700
She thinks she knows it all and I know the outcomes and I

1419
01:28:40.700 --> 01:28:43.000
know what's going to happen if she continues making these

1420
01:28:43.000 --> 01:28:47.200
choices and it terrifies me to the point of giving my I hold

1421
01:28:47.200 --> 01:28:48.300
the anxiety for her.

1422
01:28:48.600 --> 01:28:52.300
Yes, and I need to let it go.

1423
01:28:52.500 --> 01:28:56.800
I need to let it go because God has her in his hands.

1424
01:28:57.100 --> 01:29:01.700
And so that was one of the things that I keep it keeps it

1425
01:29:01.700 --> 01:29:05.200
was I was you had mentioned something today about you are

1426
01:29:05.200 --> 01:29:09.400
walking around the room praying and I was I was telling Jessica

1427
01:29:09.400 --> 01:29:14.700
I was like I this morning I was totally being attacked and

1428
01:29:14.700 --> 01:29:19.100
Satan was at me and my mind and it was because I did not do

1429
01:29:19.100 --> 01:29:20.200
my devotion this morning.

1430
01:29:20.200 --> 01:29:24.800
And so I had I didn't put on my armor and I was in a hot mess

1431
01:29:24.800 --> 01:29:28.700
this morning and I was like every morning I need to wake up

1432
01:29:28.700 --> 01:29:31.500
and I need to put on the armor because without that I am

1433
01:29:31.500 --> 01:29:32.300
defenseless.

1434
01:29:32.900 --> 01:29:33.200
Yeah.

1435
01:29:34.600 --> 01:29:35.000
I do.

1436
01:29:35.000 --> 01:29:40.000
I feel like to I want to remind you all because I feel that

1437
01:29:40.000 --> 01:29:43.300
way a lot to Michelle in the past more than even now.

1438
01:29:43.700 --> 01:29:44.700
I am more now.

1439
01:29:44.700 --> 01:29:47.900
It's just because man, I miss my Papa when I don't spend time

1440
01:29:47.900 --> 01:29:48.500
with him.

1441
01:29:48.600 --> 01:29:49.600
I love him.

1442
01:29:50.200 --> 01:29:52.000
I love spending time with the father.

1443
01:29:52.600 --> 01:29:53.500
I really do.

1444
01:29:53.900 --> 01:29:58.100
And in the past I used to be afraid that if and I'm not saying

1445
01:29:58.100 --> 01:29:59.900
this is what you were saying, but I just want to make sure.

1446
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:06.240
Everybody knows this, that there's grace that covers us even on the days that we don't.

1447
01:30:06.240 --> 01:30:07.240
Okay.

1448
01:30:07.240 --> 01:30:11.880
Cause some of, some of y'all have grown up in a lot of religion and you have to pray

1449
01:30:11.880 --> 01:30:15.980
an hour, read an hour, like there's all these rules.

1450
01:30:15.980 --> 01:30:19.960
And if you don't do all these things, God, isn't going to be close to you and protect

1451
01:30:19.960 --> 01:30:20.960
you.

1452
01:30:20.960 --> 01:30:24.720
And I want to make sure that we're not, we're not agreeing with that because that's not

1453
01:30:24.720 --> 01:30:25.720
truth.

1454
01:30:25.720 --> 01:30:26.720
Okay.

1455
01:30:27.280 --> 01:30:30.240
So spend time with your father.

1456
01:30:30.240 --> 01:30:31.240
Yes.

1457
01:30:31.240 --> 01:30:36.680
Some seasons, I will say the season that I was describing earlier was a season I was

1458
01:30:36.680 --> 01:30:43.960
in that constant, like now I do believe when I get called into intercession, you all that's,

1459
01:30:43.960 --> 01:30:47.400
I tend to lean into those kinds of things a lot more where I'm reading the word, I'm

1460
01:30:47.400 --> 01:30:48.800
praying it out loud.

1461
01:30:48.800 --> 01:30:50.960
There's an intercession that starts to happen.

1462
01:30:50.960 --> 01:30:53.600
And I feel this call, like, I just got to pray.

1463
01:30:53.600 --> 01:30:54.600
I just got to pray.

1464
01:30:54.600 --> 01:30:55.600
I just got to pray.

1465
01:30:55.600 --> 01:30:57.320
I just got to pray.

1466
01:30:57.320 --> 01:31:03.680
And that is a difference than when it's my daily, do you understand what I'm getting

1467
01:31:03.680 --> 01:31:04.680
at here?

1468
01:31:04.680 --> 01:31:08.520
I just want to make sure when you, when you're saying that Michelle, that you don't feel

1469
01:31:08.520 --> 01:31:14.160
afraid that you're not protected.

1470
01:31:14.160 --> 01:31:20.740
If you don't spend time in your devotion, because you're protected because the love

1471
01:31:20.740 --> 01:31:23.640
of the father is with you.

1472
01:31:23.680 --> 01:31:27.960
I think it's, I don't think it was that I, I don't feel protected, but I felt weaker.

1473
01:31:27.960 --> 01:31:29.120
I felt weaker.

1474
01:31:29.120 --> 01:31:35.040
I didn't feel as strong because I, it, my mind was weak because I didn't have solid

1475
01:31:35.040 --> 01:31:40.080
truth to come up because I had been immediately in it.

1476
01:31:40.080 --> 01:31:44.960
I mean, I, as soon as I woke up, I was, I was immediately attacked because all I could

1477
01:31:44.960 --> 01:31:47.360
think about was what had happened the night before.

1478
01:31:47.360 --> 01:31:48.360
Okay.

1479
01:31:48.360 --> 01:31:49.360
Yeah.

1480
01:31:49.360 --> 01:31:50.360
And so this is really good.

1481
01:31:50.560 --> 01:31:53.520
As you were just saying that I almost feel like a life preserver.

1482
01:31:53.520 --> 01:31:56.160
It's like a life preserver right now being thrown to you.

1483
01:31:56.160 --> 01:31:58.000
Like you really, it's like a lifeline to you.

1484
01:31:58.000 --> 01:31:59.000
You need it.

1485
01:31:59.000 --> 01:32:03.920
You have to have it like an IV intravenous and want to encourage you.

1486
01:32:03.920 --> 01:32:09.040
And when you said holding anxiety for her, so it's interesting.

1487
01:32:09.040 --> 01:32:13.240
My my spiritual daughters are both not making great choices right now.

1488
01:32:13.240 --> 01:32:16.880
And so I really related to what you said.

1489
01:32:16.880 --> 01:32:20.840
And I can't tell you how many times I'm sitting and thinking, like, if they continue on this

1490
01:32:20.840 --> 01:32:21.840
road, this could happen.

1491
01:32:21.840 --> 01:32:22.840
This could happen.

1492
01:32:22.840 --> 01:32:23.840
This could happen.

1493
01:32:23.840 --> 01:32:24.840
This could happen.

1494
01:32:24.840 --> 01:32:26.400
And that's where the what ifs all kick in.

1495
01:32:26.400 --> 01:32:27.960
Right.

1496
01:32:27.960 --> 01:32:35.520
And so even though I still have concern for those things, I've had to continue to remind

1497
01:32:35.520 --> 01:32:44.680
myself and tell the double this to God got me here through all of my mistakes, where

1498
01:32:44.680 --> 01:32:45.680
I am today.

1499
01:32:45.680 --> 01:32:46.680
Amen.

1500
01:32:46.680 --> 01:32:47.680
Yeah.

1501
01:32:47.680 --> 01:32:48.680
Just receive that.

1502
01:32:48.680 --> 01:32:54.680
Just receive that, sweetie, because God has your daughter too.

1503
01:32:54.680 --> 01:32:55.680
What's her name?

1504
01:32:55.680 --> 01:32:59.520
Just her first name.

1505
01:32:59.520 --> 01:33:02.680
Her name is Neveline, but she doesn't go by that.

1506
01:33:02.680 --> 01:33:06.760
Okay, that's all right.

1507
01:33:06.760 --> 01:33:08.520
God has her.

1508
01:33:08.520 --> 01:33:13.360
And at the end of the day, his love is greater for her than anything you could ever imagine

1509
01:33:13.360 --> 01:33:16.640
as deep as your love is for her.

1510
01:33:16.640 --> 01:33:17.640
And he's going to help her.

1511
01:33:17.640 --> 01:33:20.280
He's going to see her through one way or another.

1512
01:33:20.280 --> 01:33:26.480
And again, sometimes y'all in the physical realm, man, it's hard because we see with

1513
01:33:26.480 --> 01:33:31.480
our physical eyes, but I want to encourage you all if you if any of you are struggling

1514
01:33:31.480 --> 01:33:36.600
with anything similar, I want you to ask the father to give you his perspective.

1515
01:33:36.600 --> 01:33:41.280
Hey, give give you his perspective.

1516
01:33:41.280 --> 01:33:43.800
Help you to hear what is he saying?

1517
01:33:43.800 --> 01:33:45.480
This is something that God led me to do.

1518
01:33:45.480 --> 01:33:47.200
And I can't take credit for it.

1519
01:33:47.200 --> 01:33:51.080
I don't even remember where I read it, but I read it from a minister and he was saying

1520
01:33:51.080 --> 01:33:58.360
that he asked God for a word to speak over his child.

1521
01:33:58.360 --> 01:34:03.960
And he did literally not just scripture, but an actual like prophetic word that from heaven

1522
01:34:03.960 --> 01:34:05.640
to declare over his child.

1523
01:34:05.640 --> 01:34:07.280
And he started doing that.

1524
01:34:07.280 --> 01:34:10.440
Oh, I feel the Holy Spirit.

1525
01:34:10.440 --> 01:34:11.800
He started doing that.

1526
01:34:11.800 --> 01:34:16.040
And you know what you all that child started changing.

1527
01:34:16.040 --> 01:34:20.480
And and I'll tell you, I've tested this out and I've started seeing it some, but then

1528
01:34:20.480 --> 01:34:23.240
it was like it then the enemy just came back in.

1529
01:34:23.240 --> 01:34:24.800
But I'm still holding on to that.

1530
01:34:24.800 --> 01:34:29.240
But I asked for a word specifically for my older spiritual daughter.

1531
01:34:29.240 --> 01:34:34.580
And literally, I saw this vision of all this wisdom stuff, all these branches in life grown

1532
01:34:34.580 --> 01:34:36.080
up and out of her mind.

1533
01:34:37.080 --> 01:34:38.720
I feel the Holy Spirit.

1534
01:34:38.720 --> 01:34:40.640
I'm going to minister myself right now.

1535
01:34:40.640 --> 01:34:44.240
I don't even mean to you all.

1536
01:34:44.240 --> 01:34:49.080
She is battling her mental health more than ever.

1537
01:34:49.080 --> 01:34:51.720
And it's from brokenness from the things she's gone through.

1538
01:34:51.720 --> 01:34:52.960
But you know what?

1539
01:34:52.960 --> 01:34:58.000
I really do believe God got me through so much and he's held me and he's kept me and

1540
01:34:58.000 --> 01:34:59.400
he sustained me.

1541
01:34:59.400 --> 01:35:00.040
Even when I didn't.

1542
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:08.520
live for him. So I believe, Neveline, Neveline. Yeah, I

1543
01:35:08.520 --> 01:35:11.120
believe that God is going to do the same for her and you'll see

1544
01:35:11.120 --> 01:35:16.520
you through to no matter what. No matter what. Thank you so

1545
01:35:16.520 --> 01:35:19.800
much for sharing and trusting us with what's going on. You're

1546
01:35:19.800 --> 01:35:24.400
welcome. All right, we're at 935. Take one more. I can take

1547
01:35:24.400 --> 01:35:35.480
one more. Susan, go ahead. Oh, you're muted, sweetie.

1548
01:35:40.560 --> 01:35:47.280
Okay, I think I've managed to do it. I have been in a season of

1549
01:35:47.400 --> 01:35:52.080
almost panic. I'm trying to prepare to go overseas. I'm

1550
01:35:52.080 --> 01:35:55.120
supposed to speak at a retreat there. I've got a bunch of

1551
01:35:55.160 --> 01:35:57.680
different things here that have to be done and finished. And

1552
01:35:57.680 --> 01:36:00.480
I've been finding myself going around in circles getting

1553
01:36:00.480 --> 01:36:02.960
absolutely nothing done, but trying so hard to control my

1554
01:36:02.960 --> 01:36:09.400
circumstances that I I'm not sleeping well at night, just

1555
01:36:09.480 --> 01:36:13.080
different things going on. So hard cry has been out to the

1556
01:36:13.080 --> 01:36:17.080
Lord. What do I do with this? And I had a dream the other

1557
01:36:17.080 --> 01:36:22.480
night. And the dream was, I was in charge of a wildlife park

1558
01:36:22.520 --> 01:36:27.040
with elephants and lions and zebras, that sort of thing.

1559
01:36:27.640 --> 01:36:33.560
Like a zoo. And I'm trying to get away. And this other person

1560
01:36:33.560 --> 01:36:38.520
called Kristen is trying to get me to to go just don't worry

1561
01:36:38.520 --> 01:36:41.000
about it. And I keep turning around and saying, Oh, but if

1562
01:36:41.000 --> 01:36:43.840
this happens with the lions, this is what you have to do.

1563
01:36:44.240 --> 01:36:47.320
Don't worry, I've got this, you just go get out of town, you

1564
01:36:47.320 --> 01:36:51.640
need to go rest. And I say, Oh, but I know the zebra have to

1565
01:36:51.640 --> 01:36:56.440
have this on certain certain days. And you need to apply

1566
01:36:56.440 --> 01:37:00.280
that. For that situation, just get out of town, go, I'm telling

1567
01:37:00.280 --> 01:37:03.880
you to go. Anyway, what was crazy in the dream was Kristen

1568
01:37:03.880 --> 01:37:06.560
was me, it was looked like me, it was identical to me. And I

1569
01:37:06.560 --> 01:37:09.120
noticed that my dream kind of quit. And I thought, well, what

1570
01:37:09.120 --> 01:37:12.200
was that all about? And as I was praying and pondering about it,

1571
01:37:12.960 --> 01:37:17.640
I suddenly had this picture across my mind. And it wasn't

1572
01:37:17.640 --> 01:37:23.120
Kristen, it was Christ in it is ch ri st in me. And it was like

1573
01:37:23.120 --> 01:37:28.320
there was an almost immediate release of, oh, it's Christ in

1574
01:37:28.320 --> 01:37:31.600
me has been telling me to stop and just get your mind into

1575
01:37:31.600 --> 01:37:34.920
perfect peace. Stay on, get your mind on me. I'll take care of

1576
01:37:34.920 --> 01:37:37.880
these details that you've been panicking about. And if you

1577
01:37:37.880 --> 01:37:42.640
quit panicking about it, you'll get these things done. And trying

1578
01:37:42.640 --> 01:37:44.920
to prepare for this retreat. I don't know how many times I've

1579
01:37:44.920 --> 01:37:47.080
written and rewritten and rewritten and rewritten. And

1580
01:37:47.080 --> 01:37:49.240
it's like, I just want to burn it all and start all over

1581
01:37:49.240 --> 01:37:52.920
again. And that got me to such a place of peace. I've had some

1582
01:37:52.920 --> 01:37:55.800
really sweet days with the Lord the last three days, but it's,

1583
01:37:55.960 --> 01:38:00.520
it's been that trying to control it and get it all in my hand and

1584
01:38:00.520 --> 01:38:04.480
fixed. That's been got me in circles. So

1585
01:38:05.360 --> 01:38:08.480
I can relate to what you shared so much, Susan, I tend to stress

1586
01:38:08.480 --> 01:38:12.040
a lot when I have big events coming before our move. I just a

1587
01:38:12.040 --> 01:38:15.880
lot I wasn't sleeping. So that can tend to make it worse. So

1588
01:38:15.880 --> 01:38:18.400
I'm so glad you have that breakthrough. It is find me

1589
01:38:18.400 --> 01:38:22.040
caught falling you all I just looked it up as she was sharing

1590
01:38:22.040 --> 01:38:26.960
too. But Susan, I'm so glad that you had that dream and you had

1591
01:38:26.960 --> 01:38:30.640
the revelation of what God was saying to you in that something

1592
01:38:30.640 --> 01:38:34.320
that stood out to me as well. Zebras are black and white, you

1593
01:38:34.320 --> 01:38:40.040
all they're light and dark, good and good and evil. Okay. So

1594
01:38:40.080 --> 01:38:43.640
I just feel like also the Lord is reminding you that no matter

1595
01:38:43.640 --> 01:38:48.560
what you face light nor dark, that he is in you. He's in you,

1596
01:38:48.560 --> 01:38:51.280
he is with you the same power that rose Jesus Christ from the

1597
01:38:51.280 --> 01:38:54.680
dead, you all is living in us and it can operate through us

1598
01:38:54.680 --> 01:38:59.080
every day. So that tangible piece that we need, y'all

1599
01:38:59.080 --> 01:39:03.280
sometimes we just need to reach up, search up, look up, but also

1600
01:39:03.280 --> 01:39:09.000
inside. Because he's in you. He's in you and he's with you

1601
01:39:09.000 --> 01:39:13.440
and he's gone before you so all the details will come together

1602
01:39:13.840 --> 01:39:17.360
is going to help you. And just believing that you all will

1603
01:39:17.360 --> 01:39:20.840
continue to receive his peace tonight. I really want to

1604
01:39:20.840 --> 01:39:23.800
encourage you all remember what I said, here's your one act

1605
01:39:23.840 --> 01:39:26.640
here. Here's one activation whoever wants to do it. I'll

1606
01:39:26.640 --> 01:39:29.160
give you all another one. I'm going to try to always give you

1607
01:39:29.160 --> 01:39:33.240
an activation every week. Hug yourself tonight. I'm serious.

1608
01:39:33.560 --> 01:39:36.680
Even if you don't put on any music, I want you just to lay

1609
01:39:36.680 --> 01:39:40.760
there and just what does it feel like to hug yourself and really

1610
01:39:40.760 --> 01:39:46.640
just like, God helped me to love myself more. Even if you don't

1611
01:39:46.640 --> 01:39:50.400
feel again, something tangible, but ask God, God helped me to

1612
01:39:50.400 --> 01:39:54.160
feel your love tonight while I lay here for a few minutes, set

1613
01:39:54.160 --> 01:39:56.840
a timer. And for some of you, it's gonna be real hard because

1614
01:39:56.840 --> 01:39:59.920
you're gonna want to do it for a second and get up when you set

1615
01:39:59.920 --> 01:40:00.440
a timer.

1616
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:06.040
or for five minutes. I just want you to feel it. Some of y'all

1617
01:40:06.040 --> 01:40:09.840
need to cry and forgive yourselves. Some of y'all need

1618
01:40:09.840 --> 01:40:14.000
to just be kind to yourself and your thoughts. So think on

1619
01:40:14.000 --> 01:40:16.080
things that are good about yourself while you're laying

1620
01:40:16.080 --> 01:40:19.520
there. Receive God's love through your own thoughts

1621
01:40:19.880 --> 01:40:25.840
towards yourself. And here's your activation on on the fear

1622
01:40:25.840 --> 01:40:33.560
stuff. When fear comes at you this week, shoot, so I think

1623
01:40:33.560 --> 01:40:37.200
it's second Timothy, but the one that's, God has not given me a

1624
01:40:37.200 --> 01:40:39.920
spirit of fear, but he's given me a spirit of love and of power

1625
01:40:39.920 --> 01:40:44.440
and of a sound mind. I want you all to I want you all to

1626
01:40:44.480 --> 01:40:47.280
memorize that scripture this week. And every time fear comes

1627
01:40:47.280 --> 01:40:51.080
against you, I want you to remind yourself and the devil,

1628
01:40:51.480 --> 01:40:54.760
God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of love and of power

1629
01:40:54.760 --> 01:41:01.080
and of a sound mind. Let me look it up for you. Second

1630
01:41:01.080 --> 01:41:06.840
Timothy one verse seven, second Timothy one verse seven. Okay.

1631
01:41:06.840 --> 01:41:10.640
So your activations are hugging yourself, loving on yourself for

1632
01:41:10.640 --> 01:41:15.080
five minutes, setting a timer, doing it and tell us about it in

1633
01:41:15.080 --> 01:41:16.840
the group. I want to, some of y'all are going to have

1634
01:41:16.840 --> 01:41:21.400
supernatural breakthrough doing this. Come in and tell us how

1635
01:41:21.400 --> 01:41:23.960
did it go? Even if it felt awkward, feels awkward. I want,

1636
01:41:23.960 --> 01:41:29.640
I just want you to talk about it with each other. And then as

1637
01:41:29.640 --> 01:41:33.640
you face fears this week, memorize that scripture, have it

1638
01:41:33.640 --> 01:41:36.760
in your kind of like your back pocket, if you were, well, God

1639
01:41:36.760 --> 01:41:38.960
has not given me a spirit of fear, but of love and of power

1640
01:41:38.960 --> 01:41:41.760
and of a sound mind. And just start talking and speaking to

1641
01:41:41.760 --> 01:41:45.560
the devil, you know, when I say that y'all don't pay too much

1642
01:41:45.560 --> 01:41:48.200
attention to the devil, but it's just the reality you're telling

1643
01:41:48.200 --> 01:41:51.360
him where to go. Like in Jesus name, God hasn't given me a

1644
01:41:51.360 --> 01:41:55.360
spirit. And I used to insert my name. Y'all I used to battle

1645
01:41:55.480 --> 01:42:00.200
fear, something terrible, fear of the dark massively to the

1646
01:42:00.200 --> 01:42:02.920
point that I would run up the stairs. I'm not joking. It was

1647
01:42:02.920 --> 01:42:08.320
bad. And the Lord told me like to slow down and not run in

1648
01:42:08.320 --> 01:42:12.320
every step. God has not given Bethany a spirit of fear, but

1649
01:42:12.320 --> 01:42:14.680
God has given Bethany a spirit of love and of power and of a

1650
01:42:14.680 --> 01:42:18.320
sound mind. And I would just do that over and over and over

1651
01:42:18.840 --> 01:42:22.640
until God set me free. So God is going to do that for you as

1652
01:42:22.640 --> 01:42:26.000
well. Let me pray for you, father. Thank you so much for

1653
01:42:26.000 --> 01:42:28.760
your goodness, for your grace. Thank you for, for setting us

1654
01:42:28.760 --> 01:42:31.400
free in ways that we don't even realize it right now. Thank you

1655
01:42:31.400 --> 01:42:34.120
Lord for illuminating areas where we need to let go of

1656
01:42:34.120 --> 01:42:37.440
control, where we need to surrender supernaturally to you

1657
01:42:37.680 --> 01:42:40.680
and to trust that we are God defended that you have our back

1658
01:42:41.760 --> 01:42:44.760
and we never face life alone. I thank you that you go before us

1659
01:42:44.760 --> 01:42:47.960
this week. I thank you that you've provided the armor of

1660
01:42:47.960 --> 01:42:51.080
God, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes of the

1661
01:42:51.080 --> 01:42:54.560
readiness of the gospel piece, the helmet of salvation, the

1662
01:42:54.560 --> 01:42:57.280
breastplate of righteousness, the sword of the spirit, the

1663
01:42:57.280 --> 01:42:59.560
shield of faith. And I thank you that your glory is our rear

1664
01:42:59.560 --> 01:43:02.640
guard. I thank you that you've hedged us in that your love is

1665
01:43:02.640 --> 01:43:05.280
enough for us. I thank you that you'll help us to become more

1666
01:43:05.280 --> 01:43:08.400
rooted and grounded in the understanding and revelation of

1667
01:43:08.400 --> 01:43:11.640
your love. That's unconditional for us. Help us to receive it in

1668
01:43:11.640 --> 01:43:15.680
a fresh way this week in Jesus name. God bless you all. Have an

1669
01:43:15.680 --> 01:43:20.160
amazing night. Have a great day. Night. I'm sorry. Have a great

1670
01:43:20.160 --> 01:43:22.040
night. I'll see y'all in the group. That's what I meant to

1671
01:43:22.040 --> 01:43:22.240
say.