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All I had to do was put a pair of hippie pants on, wear some crystals, skateboard around

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a little bit, and it was just really easy to be accepted by them.

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I grew up in a small coastal town in Wisconsin with an older brother and two loving parents,

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and my mom had somewhat of a background with the Lord.

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I met a group of friends on the college campus, and they were so easy to get along with.

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They accepted everything, they accepted everyone.

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It was all about love and light, your truth, my truth.

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Shortly after joining this group of people, they really drastically changed the view that

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I held in life.

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I started to see things differently in the sense of, I am my own God, I can create my

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own reality.

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That led to just getting into psychedelics, which led to this false perception of reality

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really starting to settle in, especially with the psychedelics, because everything seemed

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so real.

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There was this deep connection that I felt on a spiritual level that we were all one.

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I was one with this tree, I was one with my friends, everything was one.

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If everything is one, then there's no distinction between the creation and the creator.

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I was desperately seeking to be the best human that I could be.

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I was confused, I was lost, I was aimlessly wandering.

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I was getting into relationships that just totally distorted my view of love.

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I was so desperate for love and finding it in all the wrong places.

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One day I went for a drive and I ended up in this church parking lot where I used to

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volunteer when I was in high school.

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I was sitting in the parking lot and realized that I was such a hypocrite.

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I believed that I accepted everything and everyone, but the name of Jesus triggered

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me so much and I had no idea why.

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After that, the spiritual attacks just started coming in hot.

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One night, I had this nightmare, this demonic attack in my dream.

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I willingly walked through this door and I was on the edge of this cliff.

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There is this cliff and I was right here, about to fall off into this conglomeration

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of just black, mangled demons just all entwined together.

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I started calling out all these different names, I was like, Buddha save me, Allah save

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me and nothing happened and finally I called on the name of Jesus and I instantly was out

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of the dream.

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I seriously just believed that everything was love and light.

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I didn't believe that Satan was real.

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I didn't believe that demons were real.

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To experience something that was so dark just shifted my perception on everything.

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I didn't think this was real, but it obviously is based on this crazy experience that I just

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had and then immediately being filled with the Holy Spirit after, I was like, this is

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real.

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This is what I was searching for.

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It just instantly filled that hole inside of me.

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Shortly after that dream, I ended up going to my first worship night at the church that

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I had been volunteering at.

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I didn't really know anybody there and so I went to leave really quick and this lady

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stopped me and she told me, I have a message for you from the Holy Spirit.

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She told me, you want to bring hope to this world, but you don't know how because you

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don't know hope himself.

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There was so much truth that rang to the words that she shared with me.

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We get so distracted by all of these shiny things that the world tries to offer us that

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sometimes it's even hard to know where to seek God.

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I think that there's power in just a simple cry out to the Lord and a simple heart posture

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of if you are real God, please lead me, guide me.

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I want to know you and I want to know truth.

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It gets confusing to know that by yourself, but the Holy Spirit is so faithful in revealing

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that because that's who he is.

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I love you.

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God bless you.

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God bless you.

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