WEBVTT

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Okay, welcome tonight to tonight's community session. Tonight's community session is simply

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called love story. If you know, you know, if you're an OG, you might have been around

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when we used to do this, this particular type of session, we haven't actually done it in

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a long time. But we will start doing it. I'm not going to say regularly, but we will start

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doing it semi regularly. And I'll tell you all about it in just a second. I have a few

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community announcements to make spirit mate match intake forms are ready. So we are ready

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to share the spirit mate match intake form, you might ask, What is that? Well, it's kind

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of like a glorified questionnaire of sorts. You know, I was calling it a questionnaire.

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My husband corrected me. He said, Babe, it's an intake form. I'm like, Okay, it's an intake

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form. Because the questionnaire is something that might not be connected to technology.

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But this is connected to technology. So you would you're going to fill this out. All right,

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we're going to put up a link and all the groups, you're going to be able to fill it out. And

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it's gets pretty specific. It's gonna and it's important that you fill it out in in

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its entirety and its totality. So it might ask some really personal questions on there.

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And I just want to let you know that the answers that you put, I'm gonna go really slow right

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now as I'm making this announcement, because people will start emailing us with all kinds

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of questions. And you know what, the answer is usually we're already shared. So I'm gonna

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go really slow, because I know I talk fast sometimes. So it's an intake form. No one

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will see the answers to it, except for the computer, the computer. So be honest, okay,

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don't leave anything out, don't skip anything. And there are required fields that you can't

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skip. You can't skip them, even if you want to, you can't. And so it's important that

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you fill it out fully and honestly, because it is going to use technology to help the

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matchmakers find you compatible matches. All right. That is what the purpose of this is.

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Now everyone in the community about be at a different kind of level of being able to

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interact with this new system, this new service, because it is a matchmaking service. But all

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of you, without exception, will be able to fill out that intake form and go into what

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I call the dating pool. It's not the data pool, it is a data pool, but I'm calling it

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the dating pool. Now some of you might be on the shallow end of the dating pool. And

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some of you might be waiting out to the deeper end of the dating pool, but you'll all be

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in the dating pool, which will be good. And we'll explain to you as we go forward, what

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we're going to do with this information, what the computer is going to do with it,

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what opportunities do you have to engage with people that match with you based on the criteria

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that this algorithm puts out. It's going to be great. At the very least, we're going to

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put together really curated online and in-person events. And at the very most, you actually

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might be using this technology, the matchmaker might match you with your spirit mate. Personally,

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I might personally do that. But like I said, and I'm going to be very clear, it all depends

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on what level of membership you're in within the community. And those are things that will

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be explained later as we go forward. Now that we have this service available that so many

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of you have been asking for, for so long, Jackie, can you matchmake me? Can you matchmake

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me? Is there a matchmaking service? Is there a matchmaking capability? Yes. Now there is.

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Now there is. I want to also, because a couple newer people, and I don't even know if they're

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here to phase three yet. So maybe this is redundant for me to say this, but, or pointless,

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I should say for me to say it, not redundant. I say this all the time, but I don't know

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if it's going to reach the people that need to hear it. And that is, there are so many

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things that should be happening to you and in you as a result of being in this community.

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Only one of which has to do with your love life. Hopefully you see that there's so much

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more value here. And if you don't, then it's possible that you're dealing with some kind

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of anxious attachment, meaning that it's all about where's the person, where's the person,

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where's the person that's going to complete my life. Where's the magic bullet of happiness

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that's going to change my life. If I could just find that person, then everything's going

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to be okay and be better. And that's not necessarily true. It isn't. And so I really want to encourage

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you to take advantage of what you've been sent here to take advantage of.

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Now we have a rollout plan and Bethany, I see you're here. Thank you for being here

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tonight. We have a rollout plan for this.

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new service, because we have to get 1000 plus people to do the

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intake form. In order for this to work, we need all of you to

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do your intake form. Okay, so it's going to take we have a we

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have a rollout calendar. And so we're going to go ahead and

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share that intake form with you when, as soon as possible here,

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we're going to decide within ourselves as a team tomorrow

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morning on our meeting, what what's the best way to get it to

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you? Should we post it as a link in the app in the resource part

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of the app, all of your groups have a resource page in your

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app? Is that how we do it? We email it out to all of you. But

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then some of you don't ever check your emails from us. So is

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that not the right way to do it? You guys? You have no idea how

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crazy it is behind the scenes trying to serve all of you. And

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we're doing our best. We have an amazing team. And I'm so

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thankful for our team. But we are doing our best. And so we're

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going to give you a calendar of what you can expect. Just know

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this, the sooner that you fill out your intake form, the

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better. And I know you're gonna have lots of questions like, you

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know what, I don't think I should have answered that

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question that way. I'd like to go back and change that answer.

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Is it possible for me to go back and change that answer? Someone's

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gonna ask that. Right. So we have a chat bot that is being

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programmed right now. She's not ready to go yet. But her name is

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Jane. And she's Jackie's little know-it-all sister. If you guys

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don't know this, the media company that my husband and I

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founded together many years ago is called Jane Media, J-A-N-E

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like the girl's name. And so our chat bots name is Jane. And

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she's going to be a little smarty pants know-it-all when we

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get done with her right now. She's just still learning what

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she needs to know, thanks to good old AI. But eventually, she

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will be able to answer any and all questions that you have. And

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that will be great. But in the meantime, you know what we're

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going to do? Instead of you emailing us, please listen very

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carefully. Do not email us about spirit mate match service. Do

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not email us. If you email us, I know this is mean we're going to

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delete your email. We're not going to answer it. Because we

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told you not to. So what I do want you to do is I want you to

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pay attention in the app, anything that's pinned to the

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featured section. If you're in a Facebook group, you can pay

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attention there because we will still pin it to the featured

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section of that group as well. But also pay attention to the

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calendar that we're going to give you. And so if that date

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hasn't passed yet, then that means we're still working on

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that level or that tier of letting people on. And guess

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what we're going to have instead of you emailing us, we're going

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to have information sessions. We're going to have zooms like

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this where you can come and ask all your questions at one time.

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And some of our staff will be here to answer all those

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questions. Does that sound good? Because this rollout is

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going to take a few weeks, several weeks to do. And so it's

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important that we don't want you guys to get discouraged. But we

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also want you to know that we're moving forward, moving forward

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fast. I have a whole different announcement to make that

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doesn't even have to do with this is that just as exciting as

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this, that I can't tell you tonight because otherwise my

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team's going to vote me off the island. Because they're like

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Jackie, you can't keep a secret. You tell people too soon. And

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then everyone's emailing us and asking us when when when when

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but I will tell you that it's another whole rollout that we've

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been working on behind the scenes that also will be

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available in the next few weeks. And I'm going to tell you about

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that soon. And I'm going to be doing something around the

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subject of that rollout on Supernatural Saturday this

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Saturday. And so if you can be there, be there. And if you're

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not there, be square. All right, because it's going to be great.

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Make sure you watch the email the replays of anything and

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everything you miss. And yes, there will be replays for those

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information sessions. And so if you ask us in the app, hey, what

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about this, we're just going to give you the link to the replay.

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It's just easier. It's better that way. That way all your

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questions get answered. Okay, cool. All right. All right. Okay.

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So for those of you, all of you should be phase three that are

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in here. Right, Bethany, that's all we have is men in phase

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three. Is that correct? Men in phase three is what just phase

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three and men tonight. Okay, so that being said, do not share

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this information with your friend that's in phase one and

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heartwork. You got them to do the hard work. Now they're here.

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They're in phase one. You know why? Because this isn't

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information for them. They're not going to get the intake

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form. It's not time for them to do that. Our dating sabbatical

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still exists for phase one, phase two, we're not going to

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onboard them onto this while they are in their dating season.

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That's true. We want to make sure that we get all phase three

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and all the men on first night. You're like, well, Jackie,

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there's not that many men. So what are you worried about?

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There actually is I have a group of men. They're not in men

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training.

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for ship like Rob here is or Hunter is,

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but they are engaged at some level with this community

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and there's 900 plus of them.

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So I have to get them into the algorithm, don't I?

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Raise your hand ladies if you want me to.

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I think that it's unanimous, all right?

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So yes, we have guys that are here that are, you know,

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doing the program part of what we're doing

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and then there are other guys that are doing

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that wanna sign up for the matchmaking side.

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I personally think the guys that have volunteered

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as tribute to do the program side,

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we're gonna give them special perks

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and they're gonna get, because of their membership,

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they're gonna have a whole different tier

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of being able to use the service

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than the other guys or the other folks.

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But when people hear about it,

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they're gonna wanna join up

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at that level of membership, right?

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And so it's important

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that we don't let the cat out of the bag.

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Keep all cats in bags.

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Okay, this is just an announcement

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for this tier of our community

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until we can get you guys all safely onboarded.

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And you guys, I'm super excited.

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We have been waiting for this as a team

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for at least two years.

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And so here we are and we're finally here

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and it's really, really exciting.

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You guys, I have gone through this intake form

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with a fine tooth comb.

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I'm asking questions like, do you have any pets?

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What kind of pets do you have?

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Are you open to other people that have pets?

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What kind of pet?

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Are you dogs only?

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Are you cats only?

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Are you any kind of pet?

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Are you allergic to animals?

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You're like, Jackie, why all those questions?

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Because tonight's love story.

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And so we're gonna touch on a few love stories.

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I'm gonna let you ask me as the matchmaker

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any questions that you want about any love stories, okay?

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I might leave out some names to protect the innocent

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or the guilty, but all love stories,

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including my love story is up for grabs tonight.

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And the reason why that's part of this intake form

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is because I have seen people break up

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and or get separated from being married

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because of a animal.

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Yes, just a few weeks after the wedding.

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You know, I thought I could,

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but I just really can't live with your cat.

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Are we kidding right now?

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I mean, I personally don't like cats either,

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but I don't like them because I've never been around one.

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Maybe I would like a cat if I knew a cat

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and a cat knew me.

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I personally think those little flat faced cats

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are pretty cute, little grumpy cats.

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I'm not allergic to cats.

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And so there's no reason why I can't be around a cat.

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Some people will say I'm allergic

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instead of saying I don't like.

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It's not the same thing, all right?

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Okay, and so all kinds of different questions

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about church attendance and spirituality.

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Some people wanna marry someone who likes to go to church.

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Like they like it.

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Like that's their thing, going to church.

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They're like, woo-hoo, going to church.

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If that's you, there's a match for you.

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You guys can go to church until your little hearts explode.

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That's great and wonderful.

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Other people are like, yeah,

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I don't want to not have spiritual community,

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but my spiritual community looks more like

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a group of other Christian people

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that I do a Bible study with or that I do life with.

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We have a home group.

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We have a cell group.

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We have a house church.

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We have a house church.

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We have a guys group that meets every week, whatever.

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So the algorithm is gonna take all that into an account.

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00:13:48.840 --> 00:13:51.360
And when I tell you that I could punch in as a matchmaker

231
00:13:51.360 --> 00:13:53.560
and say, I need a match for my client

232
00:13:54.920 --> 00:13:59.640
that likes cats, doesn't have any children.

233
00:14:00.800 --> 00:14:04.240
They can be married, but only once, right?

234
00:14:04.240 --> 00:14:06.560
They are this denomination.

235
00:14:06.560 --> 00:14:07.440
They believe this.

236
00:14:07.440 --> 00:14:09.560
They don't believe that.

237
00:14:09.560 --> 00:14:11.040
They're this tall.

238
00:14:11.040 --> 00:14:13.080
They live in this general region.

239
00:14:13.080 --> 00:14:16.320
You guys, it can show me the people.

240
00:14:16.320 --> 00:14:18.120
It could get that specified.

241
00:14:19.960 --> 00:14:21.960
Really, it can.

242
00:14:23.280 --> 00:14:28.160
Now, I am not putting any space on the intake form

243
00:14:28.160 --> 00:14:31.480
for your non-negotiables that are not from heaven.

244
00:14:34.120 --> 00:14:36.880
Ladies, okay?

245
00:14:36.880 --> 00:14:41.800
So if you put six, five, blue eyes, finance, trust fund,

246
00:14:42.800 --> 00:14:47.360
it's not gonna compute, right?

247
00:14:47.360 --> 00:14:48.360
If you guys know that joke,

248
00:14:48.360 --> 00:14:50.120
you've been spending way too much time on TikTok.

249
00:14:50.120 --> 00:14:55.120
All right, so there is a place for height for all of y'all.

250
00:14:56.600 --> 00:14:58.000
We have a lot of really tall.

251
00:14:58.000 --> 00:15:00.000
You guys, can we normalize short kings?

252
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:01.240
and tall Queens.

253
00:15:01.240 --> 00:15:03.360
Can we normalize short Kings and tall Queens?

254
00:15:03.360 --> 00:15:04.360
Can we?

255
00:15:04.360 --> 00:15:06.040
Cause that's what I got going on.

256
00:15:06.040 --> 00:15:07.800
The short King and a tall Queen.

257
00:15:07.800 --> 00:15:09.760
Can we normalize that?

258
00:15:09.760 --> 00:15:11.360
Cause I think that's fun,

259
00:15:11.360 --> 00:15:13.280
but we do have a lot of really tall beauties

260
00:15:13.280 --> 00:15:14.720
in our community.

261
00:15:14.720 --> 00:15:18.640
And it's harder to make matches when you're tall

262
00:15:18.640 --> 00:15:22.560
because a lot of times tall women don't want to be

263
00:15:22.560 --> 00:15:23.400
with shorter men.

264
00:15:23.400 --> 00:15:25.600
And I think you should get over that.

265
00:15:25.600 --> 00:15:27.880
My husband's going to be here soon and he's going to help.

266
00:15:27.880 --> 00:15:29.440
So tonight is called love story.

267
00:15:29.480 --> 00:15:31.760
Sometimes we have like specific couples come on

268
00:15:31.760 --> 00:15:33.400
and share about their story.

269
00:15:33.400 --> 00:15:36.520
And tonight what we're going to do is we're going to do

270
00:15:36.520 --> 00:15:38.600
ask the matchmaker in the way of,

271
00:15:38.600 --> 00:15:40.120
I can tell a few stories.

272
00:15:40.120 --> 00:15:42.680
You can ask me questions like what's the craziest match

273
00:15:42.680 --> 00:15:44.720
or you know, what's this or what's that?

274
00:15:44.720 --> 00:15:47.560
Or tell us about, you know, a match that included this

275
00:15:47.560 --> 00:15:50.840
or what do you think about this type of love story?

276
00:15:50.840 --> 00:15:54.360
I know a lot of us get really, I think

277
00:15:54.400 --> 00:15:59.400
I'm judgmental of other people's love stories.

278
00:16:01.720 --> 00:16:03.560
And just cause you don't like their love story

279
00:16:03.560 --> 00:16:05.520
and you don't think that their love story happened

280
00:16:05.520 --> 00:16:07.120
the way that you think it should happen

281
00:16:07.120 --> 00:16:09.600
or the way that you think a love story should happen

282
00:16:09.600 --> 00:16:12.320
doesn't mean that their love story is inferior

283
00:16:12.320 --> 00:16:13.840
to any other love stories.

284
00:16:13.840 --> 00:16:15.560
Does that make sense for everybody?

285
00:16:15.560 --> 00:16:17.720
And then I can share with you the love story trends

286
00:16:17.720 --> 00:16:18.960
that I'm seeing.

287
00:16:18.960 --> 00:16:20.280
Bethany's on here as well.

288
00:16:20.280 --> 00:16:22.200
So she can, she, do you guys know,

289
00:16:22.200 --> 00:16:24.080
do you guys know that Bethany is a success story

290
00:16:24.800 --> 00:16:25.640
of this community?

291
00:16:28.560 --> 00:16:30.160
And so just so you know, for our team,

292
00:16:30.160 --> 00:16:31.400
we like to hire from within.

293
00:16:31.400 --> 00:16:34.720
So everyone that works on our team is a former student.

294
00:16:34.720 --> 00:16:37.600
Everyone, right?

295
00:16:37.600 --> 00:16:39.720
And so Bethany's on here with her, you know,

296
00:16:39.720 --> 00:16:42.000
she can answer questions about her love story.

297
00:16:42.000 --> 00:16:44.840
I don't know if Mr. Cooper is here.

298
00:16:46.400 --> 00:16:48.400
He's not, okay, David is here though.

299
00:16:49.520 --> 00:16:51.760
All right, I'm five nine and taller in heels.

300
00:16:52.600 --> 00:16:56.720
Kimberly, it's okay.

301
00:16:56.720 --> 00:17:00.040
You know what I have to say about height differences?

302
00:17:00.040 --> 00:17:02.800
Doesn't matter how tall you are when you're lying down.

303
00:17:03.920 --> 00:17:05.319
That's all you need to know.

304
00:17:07.160 --> 00:17:09.359
That's all anybody needs to know about that.

305
00:17:10.800 --> 00:17:13.280
And there's ways in pictures to like stand in front

306
00:17:13.280 --> 00:17:15.160
or kind of stand a little bit behind

307
00:17:15.160 --> 00:17:16.880
to kind of make it look like you're the same height,

308
00:17:16.880 --> 00:17:19.319
no matter how different the heights are.

309
00:17:19.960 --> 00:17:22.480
Ah, it can work out.

310
00:17:23.599 --> 00:17:24.599
All right, here comes David.

311
00:17:24.599 --> 00:17:26.880
I see him already giving me the eyeballs.

312
00:17:26.880 --> 00:17:31.400
Like, oh Lord, she's gonna be inappropriate tonight.

313
00:17:33.360 --> 00:17:34.760
Am I ever appropriate?

314
00:17:34.760 --> 00:17:36.120
That's really the question.

315
00:17:38.920 --> 00:17:42.160
Guys, we just had a video of our little grandson.

316
00:17:42.160 --> 00:17:43.160
Here's David Dorman.

317
00:17:43.160 --> 00:17:45.520
We just got a video of our little grandson.

318
00:17:45.520 --> 00:17:48.040
We have twin grandbabies, a girl and a boy,

319
00:17:48.040 --> 00:17:50.600
and they'll be two years old next month.

320
00:17:50.600 --> 00:17:52.520
They're yummy, okay?

321
00:17:52.520 --> 00:17:56.560
And he, a fire truck was going by

322
00:17:56.560 --> 00:17:58.040
and he was yelling about it.

323
00:17:58.040 --> 00:18:00.920
He was like, and I'll just let you use your imagination

324
00:18:00.920 --> 00:18:02.720
of what cuss word he was screaming

325
00:18:02.720 --> 00:18:04.280
at the top of his little lungs.

326
00:18:05.200 --> 00:18:06.440
It rhymes with truck.

327
00:18:08.320 --> 00:18:10.640
Those TRs are hard.

328
00:18:10.640 --> 00:18:12.880
That sound is hard, y'all.

329
00:18:12.880 --> 00:18:13.920
Poor little guy.

330
00:18:14.760 --> 00:18:18.120
And you know who used to do that when he was a little boy?

331
00:18:20.600 --> 00:18:21.680
Right here.

332
00:18:21.680 --> 00:18:24.240
His mom was horrified.

333
00:18:24.240 --> 00:18:26.920
His mom was a sweet church lady that was horrified

334
00:18:28.280 --> 00:18:29.880
by her little cussing toddler.

335
00:18:29.880 --> 00:18:32.880
And I loved, I loved, I loved also,

336
00:18:33.760 --> 00:18:36.440
I loved also American flags.

337
00:18:37.920 --> 00:18:39.240
American flags.

338
00:18:39.240 --> 00:18:40.080
And so-

339
00:18:40.080 --> 00:18:41.800
Oh no, don't do it.

340
00:18:41.800 --> 00:18:42.840
I'm not gonna say it.

341
00:18:42.840 --> 00:18:43.680
Okay.

342
00:18:44.680 --> 00:18:48.240
I'm, one of the letters was left out of the word flag.

343
00:18:48.240 --> 00:18:49.080
No, no.

344
00:18:49.080 --> 00:18:52.520
And then you probably imagine craziness.

345
00:18:52.520 --> 00:18:53.360
Did you?

346
00:18:53.360 --> 00:18:54.200
I lowered your chair.

347
00:18:54.200 --> 00:18:55.040
I don't like it.

348
00:18:55.040 --> 00:18:55.880
Yeah, well-

349
00:18:55.880 --> 00:18:57.560
He lowered my chair, you guys.

350
00:18:57.560 --> 00:18:58.400
Get out of here.

351
00:18:58.400 --> 00:19:01.200
Because there's only like one inch difference between us.

352
00:19:02.240 --> 00:19:04.200
You're 5'10 and I'm 5'9.

353
00:19:05.040 --> 00:19:06.360
He's 5'7, y'all.

354
00:19:06.360 --> 00:19:07.200
On a good day.

355
00:19:07.200 --> 00:19:08.040
It's what it says on my driver's license.

356
00:19:08.040 --> 00:19:09.240
It says 5'9.

357
00:19:09.240 --> 00:19:12.000
On a good day, he's 5'7.

358
00:19:12.000 --> 00:19:12.840
All right.

359
00:19:12.840 --> 00:19:13.680
Okay, I see-

360
00:19:14.440 --> 00:19:15.720
If I wear those special shoes,

361
00:19:15.720 --> 00:19:17.160
I can get an inch taller.

362
00:19:17.160 --> 00:19:18.000
That's right, you can.

363
00:19:18.000 --> 00:19:19.200
You can wear your cowboy boots.

364
00:19:19.200 --> 00:19:20.800
All right, 128 people live.

365
00:19:20.800 --> 00:19:22.760
I see some new faces here.

366
00:19:22.760 --> 00:19:24.640
I see some new guy faces too.

367
00:19:24.640 --> 00:19:28.200
Oh my gosh, Ty, are you here in the flesh?

368
00:19:28.200 --> 00:19:29.040
Ty's back.

369
00:19:29.040 --> 00:19:30.880
Hey.

370
00:19:30.880 --> 00:19:31.720
Sup, Ty?

371
00:19:32.880 --> 00:19:34.000
That's exciting.

372
00:19:34.000 --> 00:19:34.840
All right.

373
00:19:34.840 --> 00:19:36.320
It's been a while, huh?

374
00:19:36.320 --> 00:19:38.400
Yeah, it's been a minute.

375
00:19:38.400 --> 00:19:40.120
You're back from the dead, bro.

376
00:19:40.120 --> 00:19:40.960
Yeah.

377
00:19:41.880 --> 00:19:43.600
Good to see y'all.

378
00:19:44.400 --> 00:19:45.240
All right.

379
00:19:45.240 --> 00:19:46.800
Okay, ladies.

380
00:19:46.800 --> 00:19:48.600
Got another silver fox back.

381
00:19:48.600 --> 00:19:49.560
Here he is.

382
00:19:49.560 --> 00:19:51.120
All right.

383
00:19:51.120 --> 00:19:51.960
I see Matthew.

384
00:19:51.960 --> 00:19:52.800
Matthew's new.

385
00:19:52.800 --> 00:19:53.640
Hi, Matthew.

386
00:19:53.640 --> 00:19:55.680
I just, we haven't, I haven't seen you.

387
00:19:55.680 --> 00:19:56.520
It's good to see you.

388
00:19:56.520 --> 00:19:57.400
Yeah, he's been around.

389
00:19:57.400 --> 00:19:59.440
Yeah, you've been around, but I haven't seen you.

390
00:19:59.440 --> 00:20:00.280
You're another one.

391
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:03.000
That's back or you're not necessarily here all the time.

392
00:20:03.080 --> 00:20:04.080
I think it's real busy.

393
00:20:04.240 --> 00:20:05.220
Matthew gets real busy.

394
00:20:05.240 --> 00:20:05.720
Okay.

395
00:20:06.160 --> 00:20:06.660
All right.

396
00:20:07.080 --> 00:20:10.320
So ladies, we have some of our other guys that are in mentorship.

397
00:20:10.360 --> 00:20:12.400
These are guys that have bought all the way in.

398
00:20:12.400 --> 00:20:17.680
And so I think there's about, um, around a hundred ish of those guys.

399
00:20:18.560 --> 00:20:19.060
All right.

400
00:20:19.120 --> 00:20:22.280
So, um, let's talk about love stories.

401
00:20:22.400 --> 00:20:22.600
Okay.

402
00:20:22.600 --> 00:20:23.520
No holds barred.

403
00:20:23.520 --> 00:20:24.720
You can ask whatever you want.

404
00:20:24.880 --> 00:20:26.280
Let's just start out with our love story.

405
00:20:26.280 --> 00:20:29.680
Cause you were going to tell us so many people haven't heard our love story.

406
00:20:29.960 --> 00:20:31.640
And remember how I said, you can get judgmental.

407
00:20:32.040 --> 00:20:35.040
So I'm going to D I'm going to say something really shocking when David and

408
00:20:35.040 --> 00:20:39.120
I met, he was my neighbor, as you guys know, if you don't know, you didn't,

409
00:20:39.120 --> 00:20:40.600
then you didn't read any of my books.

410
00:20:40.640 --> 00:20:43.600
Cause I tell that story and all my books are well in one of them.

411
00:20:43.960 --> 00:20:46.160
And we've told that story a thousand times.

412
00:20:46.200 --> 00:20:48.000
It seems like, but I yelled at him.

413
00:20:48.640 --> 00:20:54.640
I yelled at him because I had gotten an email that same day that I met him that

414
00:20:54.640 --> 00:20:59.200
said that a sex offender had moved into my neighborhood and he was out moving

415
00:20:59.200 --> 00:21:04.120
in next door and I lived in a very small little cul-de-sac neighborhood.

416
00:21:04.360 --> 00:21:08.240
So of course I didn't realize that that email was for the, the

417
00:21:08.240 --> 00:21:13.880
whole area that I lived in county, not my neighborhood.

418
00:21:14.120 --> 00:21:14.720
Okay.

419
00:21:15.440 --> 00:21:17.440
I wasn't smart like that.

420
00:21:17.920 --> 00:21:21.880
And so I just assumed he was the only person moving in.

421
00:21:21.880 --> 00:21:24.240
So I immediately assumed that he was the sex offender that

422
00:21:24.240 --> 00:21:25.760
the email was warning me about.

423
00:21:26.040 --> 00:21:28.840
My side of the story is I was just minding my own business.

424
00:21:29.480 --> 00:21:30.400
Sweeping my driveway.

425
00:21:30.400 --> 00:21:32.800
He was 36 years old and I was 32 years old.

426
00:21:32.800 --> 00:21:34.520
We've been married for 17 years now.

427
00:21:34.680 --> 00:21:35.160
Okay.

428
00:21:35.520 --> 00:21:38.040
It was April, 2007.

429
00:21:39.400 --> 00:21:41.800
And he was moving in.

430
00:21:42.920 --> 00:21:43.400
That's right.

431
00:21:43.600 --> 00:21:44.720
Yeah, I moved in.

432
00:21:44.920 --> 00:21:45.240
Yeah.

433
00:21:45.720 --> 00:21:49.360
And I got that email and my daughter decided that she wanted to be

434
00:21:49.360 --> 00:21:50.720
best friends with his little daughter.

435
00:21:50.720 --> 00:21:55.080
He had a nine year old and I had a six year old and she went

436
00:21:55.080 --> 00:21:56.560
over and went into his garage.

437
00:21:56.560 --> 00:21:58.440
She was playing in the yard with her other little friends.

438
00:21:58.440 --> 00:22:02.360
She decided to go over next door and go into his house.

439
00:22:02.360 --> 00:22:05.080
And when I came out looking for her, I couldn't find her.

440
00:22:05.080 --> 00:22:06.800
And I was freaking out single mom.

441
00:22:06.960 --> 00:22:07.360
Okay.

442
00:22:07.360 --> 00:22:09.320
Just crazy.

443
00:22:09.600 --> 00:22:10.680
I was going through a lot.

444
00:22:10.960 --> 00:22:16.400
I was in a trauma response and I went over there and I saw him and I saw my,

445
00:22:16.400 --> 00:22:19.920
as soon as I saw him, my daughter had come out of his garage with his

446
00:22:19.920 --> 00:22:21.680
daughter and I just lit into him.

447
00:22:21.680 --> 00:22:22.560
I just yelled at him.

448
00:22:23.000 --> 00:22:24.120
I'll let you guess.

449
00:22:24.480 --> 00:22:25.960
Like as a single father.

450
00:22:26.520 --> 00:22:32.080
You, you think I know where my daughter's at on a Saturday afternoon,

451
00:22:32.120 --> 00:22:35.680
like beautiful day, kids are out playing in the court and everything.

452
00:22:36.240 --> 00:22:40.640
I had no idea that her daughter was in my house or even where my daughter was.

453
00:22:40.680 --> 00:22:43.560
What a typical man, a woman would have known.

454
00:22:43.880 --> 00:22:44.200
All right.

455
00:22:44.240 --> 00:22:47.800
I mean, I would have checked in an hour or two or three or six, but you know,

456
00:22:47.800 --> 00:22:51.000
come on, I yelled at him and I ripped his head right off.

457
00:22:51.280 --> 00:22:52.040
I yelled at him.

458
00:22:52.080 --> 00:22:53.280
I was like, look, bro.

459
00:22:53.280 --> 00:22:54.720
I knew I know who you are.

460
00:22:54.840 --> 00:22:56.600
You know, it literally was like that.

461
00:22:56.600 --> 00:22:57.160
It was bad.

462
00:22:57.640 --> 00:23:01.600
But the thing that I want to bring out tonight, besides the crazy origin

463
00:23:01.600 --> 00:23:06.600
story of our relationship is that both of us by the state of Ohio, which is

464
00:23:06.600 --> 00:23:13.040
where we met and where we lived, we were both legally married on that day.

465
00:23:13.040 --> 00:23:15.160
When that happened, we were both legally married.

466
00:23:16.400 --> 00:23:19.160
And this is how we could get our judgment panties in a wad

467
00:23:19.160 --> 00:23:20.680
over other people's love stories.

468
00:23:21.080 --> 00:23:25.040
17 years in, we've raised a beautiful blended family together.

469
00:23:25.040 --> 00:23:28.360
We've had so many amazing ministry opportunities together.

470
00:23:28.920 --> 00:23:33.120
We've both been healed and done so much, you know, so many layers of

471
00:23:33.120 --> 00:23:38.120
heartwork and also have done that with other people and we've helped save so

472
00:23:38.120 --> 00:23:41.440
many marriages, we've helped people get out of marriages that were abusive and

473
00:23:41.440 --> 00:23:46.360
unsafe, we brought so many marriages together through this ministry, this

474
00:23:46.360 --> 00:23:50.160
movement last year, single, but when we met each other, we were going through

475
00:23:50.200 --> 00:23:52.480
it in the area of our own marriages.

476
00:23:53.080 --> 00:23:55.280
My pastor had gone to prison.

477
00:23:57.160 --> 00:23:59.800
And that was the only family that I ever had.

478
00:23:59.800 --> 00:24:03.040
I was raised as a teenager in a home for unwanted children.

479
00:24:03.040 --> 00:24:06.800
That's literally what it said on the sign, the home for unwanted children.

480
00:24:07.640 --> 00:24:11.360
And so I got married at 20 years old, didn't know Jesus married.

481
00:24:11.360 --> 00:24:14.240
The first boy who acted like he was going to take care of me and help

482
00:24:14.240 --> 00:24:16.840
me and be nice to me and kind to me.

483
00:24:16.880 --> 00:24:20.080
And it was an abusive situation to say the least.

484
00:24:20.520 --> 00:24:24.320
Um, but I started going to his church with him two years into our marriage

485
00:24:24.360 --> 00:24:27.880
and that became my family for the next 10 years of my life.

486
00:24:27.920 --> 00:24:29.000
That became my family.

487
00:24:29.000 --> 00:24:30.560
It was the only family that I had.

488
00:24:30.880 --> 00:24:36.320
And then the pastor got in trouble for all kinds of stuff, 23 felonies.

489
00:24:36.600 --> 00:24:38.840
He was convicted of 22 of those felonies.

490
00:24:39.160 --> 00:24:40.400
And you guys, this happened overnight.

491
00:24:40.400 --> 00:24:41.640
This didn't, it was a slow burn.

492
00:24:41.640 --> 00:24:44.640
It didn't happen over the course of five months or a year.

493
00:24:44.680 --> 00:24:49.520
It happened in one week and one week, someone found out about

494
00:24:49.520 --> 00:24:50.800
something the pastor was doing.

495
00:24:51.040 --> 00:24:54.480
And they told someone else who told someone else who told the advisory

496
00:24:54.480 --> 00:24:56.520
board of the church who called the police.

497
00:24:56.800 --> 00:24:59.880
And then literally they came during a church service.

498
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.600
and took over the church and told everybody at one time what was happening.

499
00:25:04.600 --> 00:25:07.000
It was crazy.

500
00:25:07.000 --> 00:25:10.300
And then I had a nervous breakdown.

501
00:25:10.300 --> 00:25:13.300
I had a nervous breakdown, and so when this man moved in next door to me,

502
00:25:13.300 --> 00:25:16.400
I was trying to navigate through my nervous breakdown.

503
00:25:16.400 --> 00:25:21.200
I had been in the hospital, the mental health hospital,

504
00:25:21.200 --> 00:25:24.400
trying to figure out in my life what was real, what wasn't real.

505
00:25:24.400 --> 00:25:27.500
This man that's been discipling me since I was 22 years old

506
00:25:27.600 --> 00:25:28.900
is not who he says he is.

507
00:25:28.900 --> 00:25:30.300
He has an alternate family.

508
00:25:30.300 --> 00:25:32.400
He stole all the money from the church.

509
00:25:32.400 --> 00:25:33.600
No one's talking to each other.

510
00:25:33.600 --> 00:25:35.700
I don't have a church anymore.

511
00:25:35.700 --> 00:25:37.700
My whole family's gone.

512
00:25:37.700 --> 00:25:39.100
My husband's gone.

513
00:25:39.100 --> 00:25:41.000
Now what?

514
00:25:41.000 --> 00:25:44.700
And so, yes, I was legally married, but I needed a friend, you guys.

515
00:25:44.700 --> 00:25:46.100
I needed someone to help me.

516
00:25:46.100 --> 00:25:49.300
I didn't have anyone to turn to in the entire world.

517
00:25:49.300 --> 00:25:51.400
I didn't have family, origin family.

518
00:25:51.400 --> 00:25:53.200
I now didn't have church family.

519
00:25:53.200 --> 00:25:56.600
I didn't have any friends, okay?

520
00:25:56.700 --> 00:25:59.000
And I also didn't have a husband that I could lean into,

521
00:25:59.000 --> 00:26:00.600
and I had a small daughter.

522
00:26:00.600 --> 00:26:04.600
And so do you see how sometimes God will allow us to be in each other's lives

523
00:26:04.600 --> 00:26:08.000
for reasons and for seasons, and sometimes that will turn into something

524
00:26:08.000 --> 00:26:11.400
more like our situation that turned into a marriage?

525
00:26:11.400 --> 00:26:16.800
And so it's important not to judge other people's origin stories.

526
00:26:16.800 --> 00:26:20.500
Now, David was still married because his wife had left two years

527
00:26:20.500 --> 00:26:23.200
before that day I yelled at him in the front yard,

528
00:26:23.200 --> 00:26:25.700
and the reason why he was moving in next door to me

529
00:26:25.700 --> 00:26:30.700
is because his house was foreclosed upon because of that divorce.

530
00:26:30.700 --> 00:26:33.900
He had stayed in it as long as he could, but now they were taking it,

531
00:26:33.900 --> 00:26:37.500
so he moved into rentals, which is what I was in,

532
00:26:37.500 --> 00:26:39.100
and he moved in next door.

533
00:26:39.100 --> 00:26:44.300
And his whole life had been completely turned upside down two years earlier

534
00:26:44.300 --> 00:26:46.900
by his wife just waking up one day and deciding

535
00:26:46.900 --> 00:26:48.300
she didn't want to be married anymore,

536
00:26:48.300 --> 00:26:50.800
and she also didn't want to be a Christian anymore.

537
00:26:50.800 --> 00:26:52.400
She wanted to deconstruct her faith,

538
00:26:52.400 --> 00:26:55.800
and part of her faith was her marriage because her and David

539
00:26:55.800 --> 00:27:00.800
were both on staff at a megachurch, and she didn't turn back.

540
00:27:00.800 --> 00:27:04.600
And so when I happened upon him in the front yard and yelled at him,

541
00:27:04.600 --> 00:27:09.600
she had left two years previously, and he was in the last moments

542
00:27:09.600 --> 00:27:15.200
of the bankruptcy, foreclosure, divorce, discharge.

543
00:27:15.200 --> 00:27:16.000
Paperwork.

544
00:27:16.000 --> 00:27:16.800
Paperwork.

545
00:27:16.800 --> 00:27:17.800
All the stuff.

546
00:27:18.800 --> 00:27:27.600
Covenants are not ended in American court systems, y'all.

547
00:27:27.600 --> 00:27:32.200
If you did have a covenant with someone and it wasn't just some contract

548
00:27:32.200 --> 00:27:35.200
that you made under dress, under false pretenses,

549
00:27:35.200 --> 00:27:39.200
with bad information, that's what I call a lot of marriages,

550
00:27:39.200 --> 00:27:42.800
they're not covenants at all, but if you did have a covenant,

551
00:27:42.800 --> 00:27:47.200
that covenant was broken way before you ever made it to the divorce court.

552
00:27:48.200 --> 00:27:54.100
And got the legal paperwork that says you can take back your maiden name

553
00:27:54.100 --> 00:28:00.400
and move on and buy things without the other person's credit or their taxes.

554
00:28:00.400 --> 00:28:00.900
You know?

555
00:28:03.600 --> 00:28:04.500
And why am I saying that?

556
00:28:04.500 --> 00:28:11.600
Because so many of our success stories, they don't look good on paper.

557
00:28:11.600 --> 00:28:13.800
They're not perfect on paper, and you want to know why?

558
00:28:13.800 --> 00:28:16.100
Because people are not perfect anymore.

559
00:28:16.100 --> 00:28:18.100
People have a lot of baggage.

560
00:28:18.100 --> 00:28:22.200
People were never perfect, but a lot of times when people got married,

561
00:28:22.200 --> 00:28:24.100
it was their first marriage for both people.

562
00:28:24.100 --> 00:28:27.000
They didn't have any kids from a previous marriage.

563
00:28:27.000 --> 00:28:30.100
They didn't have all this crazy baggage and abuse and different things

564
00:28:30.100 --> 00:28:32.500
they were carrying around.

565
00:28:32.500 --> 00:28:35.300
Nowadays, that's not the case.

566
00:28:35.300 --> 00:28:36.600
It's really complex.

567
00:28:36.600 --> 00:28:37.300
It is.

568
00:28:37.300 --> 00:28:41.000
And I'll tell you, there was a moment, you know, as we were neighbors

569
00:28:41.000 --> 00:28:47.400
and we started becoming friends because it was summertime or beginning,

570
00:28:47.400 --> 00:28:48.800
just at the end of the school year.

571
00:28:48.800 --> 00:28:53.500
I worked at the Christian school, and Jackie needed someplace for her daughter

572
00:28:53.500 --> 00:28:56.100
to go during the summer, like a summer program.

573
00:28:56.100 --> 00:28:58.700
And we happened to have a summer program at our school,

574
00:28:58.700 --> 00:29:02.400
and I knew that it was closed, or she was telling me it was closed,

575
00:29:02.400 --> 00:29:03.500
and I knew that it was closed.

576
00:29:03.500 --> 00:29:06.600
But I also knew the coordinator of the program,

577
00:29:06.600 --> 00:29:09.600
and so I pulled a few strings and got her daughter in there.

578
00:29:09.600 --> 00:29:12.500
So as a good neighbor, as friends.

579
00:29:12.500 --> 00:29:17.100
Now, of course, I was stricken by her beauty the very first time I saw her,

580
00:29:17.100 --> 00:29:21.800
so I was definitely interested for the future.

581
00:29:21.800 --> 00:29:24.700
But there was, so as we were getting to know each other,

582
00:29:24.700 --> 00:29:27.000
I had to understand her story.

583
00:29:27.000 --> 00:29:28.500
I had to understand where she was at.

584
00:29:28.500 --> 00:29:33.600
I just finished praying in my heart, not that day, but in that season,

585
00:29:33.600 --> 00:29:38.000
Lord, I, you know, I'm getting divorced, in the process of getting divorced.

586
00:29:38.100 --> 00:29:39.900
I don't want to be alone.

587
00:29:39.900 --> 00:29:41.900
But at the same time, I have these kids.

588
00:29:41.900 --> 00:29:44.700
I have a ministry job that I'm doing.

589
00:29:44.700 --> 00:29:45.800
I have lots at stake.

590
00:29:45.800 --> 00:29:50.000
I can't just, you know, go out and just any woman, you know, and so forth.

591
00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:53.400
And God was very providential in bringing us together.

592
00:29:53.400 --> 00:29:56.000
And even though it wasn't the way I would have scripted it,

593
00:29:56.000 --> 00:29:59.100
or we would have written it out if we were writing our own love story,

594
00:29:59.100 --> 00:30:00.100
God providential.

595
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.120
does things in order to have people cross paths.

596
00:30:04.120 --> 00:30:08.480
And a lot of what we teach and what we see in this community

597
00:30:08.480 --> 00:30:10.420
is the providential working of God.

598
00:30:10.420 --> 00:30:13.480
And then sometimes it's not,

599
00:30:13.480 --> 00:30:14.800
sometimes it's our own doing

600
00:30:14.800 --> 00:30:18.620
and we're our own trying to bring things together.

601
00:30:18.620 --> 00:30:22.640
And sometimes it's better just to let God do what he does.

602
00:30:22.640 --> 00:30:26.320
And so there was even a moment where I was even saying like,

603
00:30:26.320 --> 00:30:29.640
look, I understand our situation, your situation,

604
00:30:29.640 --> 00:30:32.400
my situation, I can't be the one necessarily

605
00:30:32.400 --> 00:30:35.180
holding your hand through that part of it.

606
00:30:35.180 --> 00:30:38.620
And so there was a time where it was very precarious

607
00:30:38.620 --> 00:30:42.080
because we were interested, but we were still just friends.

608
00:30:42.080 --> 00:30:47.080
It wasn't until we made a step towards the romantic interest

609
00:30:48.840 --> 00:30:51.920
that we knew things were already taken care of

610
00:30:51.920 --> 00:30:52.720
as they should have been.

611
00:30:52.720 --> 00:30:57.440
So it was an interesting journey and fun.

612
00:30:57.440 --> 00:31:01.240
I call it my summer of love because we met in April

613
00:31:01.240 --> 00:31:04.880
and by November we were married, eight months.

614
00:31:04.880 --> 00:31:07.640
Crazy y'all, it was crazy for sure.

615
00:31:07.640 --> 00:31:09.920
Just so you know, we were both legally divorced

616
00:31:09.920 --> 00:31:10.760
when we got married.

617
00:31:10.760 --> 00:31:12.360
Yes, that is true.

618
00:31:12.360 --> 00:31:14.000
All right, all right.

619
00:31:14.000 --> 00:31:15.720
I'm nobody's sister wife.

620
00:31:15.720 --> 00:31:18.040
That's not what's going on here, okay.

621
00:31:18.040 --> 00:31:20.000
Wrong religion, okay.

622
00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:22.040
So what's going on with that little window up there?

623
00:31:22.040 --> 00:31:22.880
You see it?

624
00:31:22.880 --> 00:31:24.120
Okay, let's fix that.

625
00:31:24.960 --> 00:31:29.960
So there's a lot of like myths

626
00:31:31.440 --> 00:31:33.480
of what it needs to feel like or look like

627
00:31:33.480 --> 00:31:35.760
or what it needs to be in order to be okay

628
00:31:35.760 --> 00:31:39.280
or to be spirit led.

629
00:31:40.240 --> 00:31:42.760
A lot of people have preconceived ideas

630
00:31:42.760 --> 00:31:45.280
of what their love story is gonna look like.

631
00:31:45.280 --> 00:31:47.120
And so they won't pay attention to anything

632
00:31:47.120 --> 00:31:49.560
that doesn't have those details.

633
00:31:49.560 --> 00:31:53.880
Guys, I've heard it all.

634
00:31:53.880 --> 00:31:55.440
I have, I've heard it all.

635
00:31:55.440 --> 00:31:57.760
And so any questions that you guys wanna start asking

636
00:31:57.760 --> 00:32:01.040
in the chat, you wanna mute yourself and ask a question

637
00:32:01.040 --> 00:32:03.880
about love stories, about what if this,

638
00:32:03.880 --> 00:32:07.160
and just anything, anything that you think

639
00:32:07.160 --> 00:32:08.400
would be fun to ask.

640
00:32:09.320 --> 00:32:11.080
One thing I know for sure is you do not have

641
00:32:11.080 --> 00:32:12.960
to be attracted to the person that eventually

642
00:32:12.960 --> 00:32:16.920
becomes your spirit mate at first sight.

643
00:32:16.920 --> 00:32:19.760
It does not have to be love at first sight.

644
00:32:19.760 --> 00:32:23.040
It was rage at first sight for me and this guy right here.

645
00:32:23.040 --> 00:32:24.640
I was in a trauma response.

646
00:32:24.640 --> 00:32:26.160
I was concerned about my daughter.

647
00:32:26.160 --> 00:32:29.440
I was going through so much as I just explained.

648
00:32:29.440 --> 00:32:31.800
And I was just-

649
00:32:31.800 --> 00:32:34.000
I didn't even know I was getting yelled at actually.

650
00:32:34.000 --> 00:32:35.200
He got the mama bear.

651
00:32:35.200 --> 00:32:36.160
That's what he got.

652
00:32:36.160 --> 00:32:37.400
I was like Joey from friends.

653
00:32:37.400 --> 00:32:39.760
I was like, hey, how are you doing?

654
00:32:39.760 --> 00:32:40.920
I was just like, hey.

655
00:32:40.920 --> 00:32:44.840
No, no, no, no, no.

656
00:32:44.840 --> 00:32:48.040
And I did not think he was, nope, nope.

657
00:32:48.040 --> 00:32:49.800
She did not think it was cute at all.

658
00:32:49.800 --> 00:32:50.960
I didn't.

659
00:32:50.960 --> 00:32:52.040
So weird though.

660
00:32:52.040 --> 00:32:52.880
It was.

661
00:32:53.720 --> 00:32:54.560
I'm like, I'm so cute now.

662
00:32:54.560 --> 00:32:55.760
And I just don't understand how,

663
00:32:55.760 --> 00:32:57.240
not from the very beginning.

664
00:32:57.240 --> 00:32:59.400
Because I had stranger danger.

665
00:32:59.400 --> 00:33:02.040
I had stranger danger and you were a stranger.

666
00:33:03.120 --> 00:33:03.960
I'm not a stranger now.

667
00:33:03.960 --> 00:33:08.960
No, but and you had weird friends and he did.

668
00:33:09.240 --> 00:33:12.280
He had this friend that came over.

669
00:33:12.280 --> 00:33:16.680
I was outside when this guy pulled up and I heard his base.

670
00:33:16.680 --> 00:33:18.880
Guys, this is, when I say that this is like

671
00:33:18.880 --> 00:33:23.240
the most suburban area in the whole world.

672
00:33:23.240 --> 00:33:26.840
You don't hear any base ever in any way, shape or form.

673
00:33:26.840 --> 00:33:29.440
And his friend is pumping his base.

674
00:33:29.440 --> 00:33:32.640
Like, I don't know, at least a mile away,

675
00:33:32.640 --> 00:33:34.640
I hear him coming and I'm from Cleveland

676
00:33:34.640 --> 00:33:36.800
and I'm from the city and I'm from, you know,

677
00:33:36.800 --> 00:33:39.160
so I'm used to that, but not where I,

678
00:33:39.160 --> 00:33:40.600
not where we live together.

679
00:33:40.600 --> 00:33:43.200
And I was like, who is coming?

680
00:33:43.200 --> 00:33:45.720
And then here comes this car, tinted windows,

681
00:33:45.720 --> 00:33:50.120
low riding, pulling up in front of our little,

682
00:33:50.120 --> 00:33:52.040
you know, townhouse.

683
00:33:52.040 --> 00:33:55.600
And then this guy gets out and he's pimp limping

684
00:33:55.600 --> 00:33:58.760
up the driveway to his door.

685
00:33:58.760 --> 00:33:59.880
My wing man.

686
00:33:59.880 --> 00:34:01.360
Guys know what a pimp limp is?

687
00:34:01.360 --> 00:34:02.800
You know what that looks like?

688
00:34:02.800 --> 00:34:05.200
I do, because I'm from Cleveland and I'm from the city,

689
00:34:05.200 --> 00:34:08.960
but this little cinnamon roll.

690
00:34:08.960 --> 00:34:10.560
I'm a little neighborhood white boy.

691
00:34:10.560 --> 00:34:12.320
This little cinnamon roll.

692
00:34:12.360 --> 00:34:15.960
I was like, how does he know this person?

693
00:34:15.960 --> 00:34:17.080
That is what I wanted to know.

694
00:34:17.080 --> 00:34:19.639
And you guys, he literally did one of these things.

695
00:34:19.639 --> 00:34:20.480
Look at, I'm-

696
00:34:20.480 --> 00:34:21.320
How do I know him?

697
00:34:21.320 --> 00:34:22.159
None of your business.

698
00:34:22.159 --> 00:34:23.480
None of your business.

699
00:34:23.480 --> 00:34:25.360
That's what he would say.

700
00:34:25.360 --> 00:34:26.480
That's what he would say.

701
00:34:26.480 --> 00:34:28.480
That's what, that's what Wilson would say.

702
00:34:28.480 --> 00:34:31.840
And so I'm out in the driveway washing my car

703
00:34:31.840 --> 00:34:35.600
because y'all, this is, you know, the early 2000s

704
00:34:35.600 --> 00:34:37.840
and we still wash cars by hand.

705
00:34:37.840 --> 00:34:39.760
I was washing my car out there.

706
00:34:39.800 --> 00:34:43.080
And this guy is pimp limping up the driveway

707
00:34:43.080 --> 00:34:45.920
and goes one of these with his sunglasses,

708
00:34:47.400 --> 00:34:49.600
watching me as he's going up the driveway

709
00:34:49.600 --> 00:34:50.920
with his sunglasses down.

710
00:34:50.920 --> 00:34:54.400
And I was like, oh no, oh no, no, no, no.

711
00:34:54.400 --> 00:34:56.080
And so what happened?

712
00:34:56.080 --> 00:34:57.360
He got a demerit.

713
00:34:58.880 --> 00:35:00.080
Cause I barely knew him.

714
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:06.880
friend. He got a little black mark on his report card because this guy was like checking me out,

715
00:35:06.880 --> 00:35:10.320
looking me up and down. I noticed it took like a couple of days for you to come back over and

716
00:35:10.320 --> 00:35:17.600
talk to me. Oh my gosh. It was like hillbilly elegy. Oh no. And so then I found out later

717
00:35:18.480 --> 00:35:24.160
his name is Matthew, this guy. Um, he's very nice. He just, I don't know. I don't know what

718
00:35:24.160 --> 00:35:28.720
he thinks. I don't know who he thinks he is. I don't know. He thinks Marvin Gaye lives inside

719
00:35:28.720 --> 00:35:33.520
of him. He is a legend in his own mind. He is a legend in his own mind. He is the dorkiest

720
00:35:33.520 --> 00:35:38.080
white guy that you'll ever see. And then when you get to know him, you're just like, all right,

721
00:35:38.080 --> 00:35:44.560
I guess you're a little cool. I'm not sure. Maybe you are. Maybe you're not. I don't know. Um, but

722
00:35:44.560 --> 00:35:49.200
he is part of the reason he's in our love story. That's true. So even though at the beginning,

723
00:35:49.200 --> 00:35:56.640
I was just like, no detention. No. Who is your friend? What is this? I worked at a pizza parlor

724
00:35:56.640 --> 00:36:01.120
and somehow these guys found out where I worked and they both showed up there together, him

725
00:36:01.840 --> 00:36:06.240
and Wilson. Yeah. And they were sitting in my section. I came out of the kitchen and they're

726
00:36:06.240 --> 00:36:11.520
sitting in my section. I want to check out what's going on a grapevine pizza. I was so nervous. You

727
00:36:11.520 --> 00:36:18.800
guys, I was just like, and then I went over to the table and Wilson obviously didn't take my

728
00:36:18.800 --> 00:36:23.360
class because he starts asking me all kinds of personal inappropriate questions. He went deep.

729
00:36:23.360 --> 00:36:28.560
He did. He went deep. He's like, what are you doing? Why are you doing that? What are you going

730
00:36:28.560 --> 00:36:32.880
to be doing a year from now? You're going to be doing the same thing. You know, what's what's up,

731
00:36:32.880 --> 00:36:37.760
you know, starts tossing me questions about my, my marriage that's ending about this, about that.

732
00:36:37.760 --> 00:36:44.080
I'm like, who is this guy picking up all the details. And I have a tray full of popcorn and

733
00:36:44.080 --> 00:36:48.960
I'm just trying to like talk. And I'm trying, I'm super nervous. And then I went to do like

734
00:36:48.960 --> 00:36:54.080
something like this and then I flipped the tray and the popcorn flips the entire popcorn thing

735
00:36:54.080 --> 00:36:59.040
all over the floor shower on everyone. Cause I was so nervous by all this guy's questions,

736
00:36:59.040 --> 00:37:03.920
but you know what? After that doesn't miss a beat, like keeps on talking, like have carrying

737
00:37:03.920 --> 00:37:08.720
on the conversation 10 minutes later, I'm like, are we going to, are you going to pick up that

738
00:37:08.720 --> 00:37:11.680
popcorn? I mean, I like, are you just going to leave it there on the floor? I was going to leave

739
00:37:11.680 --> 00:37:15.120
it on the floor. Y'all. I was just trying to ignore that it even happened. You know, one of

740
00:37:15.120 --> 00:37:20.560
those awkward kind of things, but I will tell you this after they left, I just couldn't get that

741
00:37:20.560 --> 00:37:24.720
guy's words out of my mind. Like, are you still going to be doing this a year from now? Not the

742
00:37:24.720 --> 00:37:28.880
pizza, not working at the pizza place. I was a broker insurance broker during the day. And at

743
00:37:28.880 --> 00:37:34.560
night I worked at this pizza place because single mom y'all that's why. And I was just like the

744
00:37:34.560 --> 00:37:38.880
relational stuff that he was asking me that was completely inappropriate for him to ask me.

745
00:37:39.600 --> 00:37:44.320
I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was like, no, I don't want to be in this space,

746
00:37:44.320 --> 00:37:49.680
but I don't know how to get out of this space. And that was a catalyst for a lot of what became

747
00:37:50.400 --> 00:37:59.280
the heartwork. Right? So good things happen. And a lot of times they have crazy origin stories.

748
00:37:59.280 --> 00:38:02.720
The good things that happen in our life. They have crazy origin stories. Like the one that I

749
00:38:02.720 --> 00:38:08.160
just said, some crazy guy, my first impression of him was not him, but my first impression of the

750
00:38:08.160 --> 00:38:12.720
guy was like, Oh my gosh, what's wrong with this guy? This guy is trouble. This guy is weird.

751
00:38:12.720 --> 00:38:18.800
And he actually ended up asking me a life changing question, right? It can happen. Okay.

752
00:38:18.800 --> 00:38:23.760
Rachel's like, we're cute. Yeah. We're you guys. And here's the thing. We just had our youngest

753
00:38:23.760 --> 00:38:27.200
daughter get married and you should have heard the speeches at this wedding. It wasn't one speech or

754
00:38:27.200 --> 00:38:33.920
two speech. It was like five, six, seven speeches, people praising our family and all of our children

755
00:38:33.920 --> 00:38:38.480
and how amazing our children are and how our children have changed their lives and bless them.

756
00:38:38.480 --> 00:38:43.200
Their peers were telling us that their parents of their peers were telling us that,

757
00:38:43.200 --> 00:38:47.760
you know, you guys, we did good. When we got married, our kids were six, nine and 11. Now

758
00:38:47.760 --> 00:38:52.960
they're 29, 27 and 23. The two girls are married. The boy's probably going to be married before too

759
00:38:52.960 --> 00:38:57.760
long. He's in a serious relationship. All of them chose amazing people, not perfect people,

760
00:38:57.760 --> 00:39:04.240
but amazing partners. We did good. If you don't think something good could come out of divorce,

761
00:39:04.240 --> 00:39:12.400
you're wrong. Divorce is not the end of the story. It's not. Our family is well-adjusted.

762
00:39:12.960 --> 00:39:17.280
You know, our kids, yeah, they had to do some hard work. Their parents got divorced,

763
00:39:18.080 --> 00:39:21.680
but the way that we raised them and the way that we raised them all together,

764
00:39:21.680 --> 00:39:26.000
the way that we loved them, the way that we did hard work with them from a very young age,

765
00:39:26.000 --> 00:39:31.760
the way that we chose spiritual communities that focused on grace instead of legalism,

766
00:39:31.760 --> 00:39:40.000
the way that we left everything behind that we had known in religion and had made a exodus towards

767
00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:46.080
grace and towards kingdom. Yeah. It was not easy you guys, but God led us out and we did it. And

768
00:39:46.080 --> 00:39:51.360
now we get to live in the fruit of that. Yeah. And this woman here, I'll tell you, you're the

769
00:39:51.360 --> 00:39:58.560
greatest mom. You're the mom of the century. Really? She kept a lot of us together, all of us together

770
00:39:58.560 --> 00:39:59.920
for so many of those years.

771
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:06.080
years through all the ups and downs and the craziness and no money and whatever we were

772
00:40:06.080 --> 00:40:07.080
doing.

773
00:40:07.080 --> 00:40:10.540
Well, you guys, you know that I love my mom and she's safely in heaven.

774
00:40:10.540 --> 00:40:14.120
And I know that she wanted to be a good mother, but she wasn't.

775
00:40:14.120 --> 00:40:20.640
And so the biggest accomplishment of my life would be to be a good mother.

776
00:40:20.640 --> 00:40:25.560
And I'm glad that that's, I'm glad that that is, I'm glad that that stuff that other people

777
00:40:25.560 --> 00:40:26.680
are saying about me.

778
00:40:26.680 --> 00:40:27.680
All right.

779
00:40:27.680 --> 00:40:34.240
So guys, the story isn't over with divorce.

780
00:40:34.240 --> 00:40:36.640
So let's have some love story fun.

781
00:40:36.640 --> 00:40:38.200
Let's tell some stories that are not our story.

782
00:40:38.200 --> 00:40:39.320
You can see we've been together.

783
00:40:39.320 --> 00:40:43.760
We're celebrating 17 years of marriage in a couple months.

784
00:40:43.760 --> 00:40:53.240
We'll head into our 18th year of marriage and um, our kids are all grown to married

785
00:40:53.240 --> 00:40:59.600
one going to be, and we have two twin grand babies.

786
00:40:59.600 --> 00:41:03.000
This is their year picture.

787
00:41:03.000 --> 00:41:08.960
There are two, almost two now, but you can see them a little nuggets and, uh, God is

788
00:41:08.960 --> 00:41:09.960
good.

789
00:41:09.960 --> 00:41:12.600
And you guys, this is not special stuff for just special people.

790
00:41:12.600 --> 00:41:14.200
God has a love story like that for you.

791
00:41:14.200 --> 00:41:18.560
And that's the whole purpose of tonight's session is that you would be filled with faith

792
00:41:18.560 --> 00:41:21.760
that what God has done for others, God can do for you.

793
00:41:21.760 --> 00:41:24.520
And tonight's date is significant is 8 22.

794
00:41:24.520 --> 00:41:26.920
That's new beginnings and partnership.

795
00:41:26.920 --> 00:41:31.440
That's why we decided to do this session tonight because it's on eight.

796
00:41:31.440 --> 00:41:34.480
That's the Hebraic number for new beginnings.

797
00:41:34.480 --> 00:41:39.920
And 22 is the number of partnership and agreement.

798
00:41:39.920 --> 00:41:45.120
So come into agreement with us tonight that God has a new beginning of partnership for

799
00:41:45.120 --> 00:41:46.120
you.

800
00:41:46.120 --> 00:41:47.120
Okay.

801
00:41:47.120 --> 00:41:52.880
And also 22 is number of the bride, both the bride of man and the bride of Christ.

802
00:41:52.880 --> 00:41:53.880
Okay.

803
00:41:53.880 --> 00:41:58.320
A couple, a couple of questions, a hand, hand, right?

804
00:41:58.320 --> 00:41:59.320
All right.

805
00:41:59.320 --> 00:42:00.320
Hands raised.

806
00:42:00.320 --> 00:42:01.320
Johanna, Johanna, Joanna.

807
00:42:01.320 --> 00:42:02.320
I'm sorry.

808
00:42:02.320 --> 00:42:03.320
I'm hooked on phonics.

809
00:42:03.320 --> 00:42:04.960
Please tell me again how to say it.

810
00:42:04.960 --> 00:42:05.960
Johanna.

811
00:42:05.960 --> 00:42:06.960
Like Hannah.

812
00:42:06.960 --> 00:42:07.960
Oh, Hannah.

813
00:42:07.960 --> 00:42:08.960
Thank you.

814
00:42:08.960 --> 00:42:09.960
That helps.

815
00:42:09.960 --> 00:42:10.960
Hannah.

816
00:42:10.960 --> 00:42:11.960
Yeah.

817
00:42:11.960 --> 00:42:12.960
Hannah.

818
00:42:12.960 --> 00:42:13.960
Okay.

819
00:42:13.960 --> 00:42:19.160
So I was just curious, and this is, this may be taking it in another direction, but out

820
00:42:19.160 --> 00:42:24.000
of all the love stories that you've been a part of over the years, have you ever had

821
00:42:24.000 --> 00:42:36.240
anyone that has regretted not having sex before marriage?

822
00:42:36.240 --> 00:42:41.960
Not that they told me, I mean, no one, no one has ever shown up and said to me, Hey,

823
00:42:41.960 --> 00:42:49.080
I just, I really wish that I would have had sex before marriage because, um, the sex is

824
00:42:49.080 --> 00:42:53.240
really bad and you know, I wish I would have known this would have been a deal breaker

825
00:42:53.240 --> 00:42:57.160
or, you know, their sexual habits are really bizarre.

826
00:42:57.160 --> 00:43:02.760
And I feel like this is showing me trauma that they have that I didn't know they had.

827
00:43:02.760 --> 00:43:03.920
I will tell you this.

828
00:43:03.920 --> 00:43:08.920
If anyone has had an extensive porn addiction, that's going to affect your sex life.

829
00:43:08.920 --> 00:43:12.560
And so it's important for you during this preliminary time in your life where you're

830
00:43:12.560 --> 00:43:18.160
preparing for marriage, that we get that healed so that your arousal is not attached to things

831
00:43:18.160 --> 00:43:20.600
that are detrimental to your partner.

832
00:43:20.600 --> 00:43:21.600
Okay.

833
00:43:21.600 --> 00:43:25.600
So that the things that turn you on, so to speak, are not things that are degrading to

834
00:43:25.600 --> 00:43:27.920
them.

835
00:43:27.920 --> 00:43:28.920
That's important.

836
00:43:28.920 --> 00:43:34.280
And if you have any kind of impotence issues, um, ladies, uh, for those of you that are

837
00:43:34.280 --> 00:43:38.760
having that change of life, you know, these are all things that you can begin to work

838
00:43:38.760 --> 00:43:39.760
on.

839
00:43:39.760 --> 00:43:45.680
They have proven that all of that stuff can, uh, be that stuff can be helped.

840
00:43:45.680 --> 00:43:50.680
It can be a lot of that has to do with hormone issues.

841
00:43:50.680 --> 00:43:55.880
A lot of it also has to do with circulation issues, blood sugar issues.

842
00:43:55.880 --> 00:43:58.600
Our bodies are all interconnected.

843
00:43:58.600 --> 00:44:04.320
And so, um, making sure that you have really good cholesterol, blood sugar, all of those

844
00:44:04.320 --> 00:44:06.760
things can help with those problems.

845
00:44:06.760 --> 00:44:12.320
Um, let's talk about sex before marriage, because I will tell you that we've had quite

846
00:44:12.320 --> 00:44:18.800
a few love stories that once they were engaged, they went ahead and started sleeping together.

847
00:44:18.800 --> 00:44:20.480
And some of them even living together.

848
00:44:20.480 --> 00:44:22.140
How do y'all feel about that?

849
00:44:22.140 --> 00:44:24.840
That has happened in this community.

850
00:44:24.840 --> 00:44:32.280
I did a poll on my Instagram, 15.5 thousand followers.

851
00:44:32.280 --> 00:44:34.080
I don't know who all those people are.

852
00:44:34.080 --> 00:44:37.000
They're obviously not all people that are in this community and have listened to my

853
00:44:37.000 --> 00:44:40.960
teaching, but I just simply asked, do you think that living together, if you plan on

854
00:44:40.960 --> 00:44:43.260
getting married is okay.

855
00:44:43.260 --> 00:44:51.240
And most people said no, but quite a few people said they weren't sure.

856
00:44:51.240 --> 00:44:53.840
And I'm glad they were honest.

857
00:44:53.840 --> 00:44:59.720
They weren't sure, like maybe, you know, and I noticed that the majority of those people

858
00:44:59.720 --> 00:45:00.000
were either.

859
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.360
They're older than 60 or millennials.

860
00:45:08.800 --> 00:45:12.000
So Johanna, why do you ask?

861
00:45:13.800 --> 00:45:15.600
I thought you'd ask that question.

862
00:45:15.600 --> 00:45:20.600
Well, because in my years of just watching marriages

863
00:45:23.600 --> 00:45:24.680
in the Christian community,

864
00:45:24.680 --> 00:45:29.480
I've seen and known a handful of,

865
00:45:29.480 --> 00:45:31.440
well, both sides, I've seen the stories

866
00:45:31.440 --> 00:45:33.640
where people are, gosh, I wish we would have waited.

867
00:45:33.640 --> 00:45:36.680
But then I've also seen the other side where it's like,

868
00:45:36.680 --> 00:45:41.320
yeah, I would have turned out this guy

869
00:45:41.320 --> 00:45:45.320
that this one lady married never wanted to have sex.

870
00:45:45.320 --> 00:45:49.280
And she went seven years in a marriage without sex.

871
00:45:51.160 --> 00:45:54.800
And maybe there could have been some signs

872
00:45:54.800 --> 00:45:56.800
that she could have seen beforehand.

873
00:45:57.640 --> 00:46:02.480
But I've known a few people that have regretted

874
00:46:02.480 --> 00:46:05.200
not having sex before marriage

875
00:46:05.200 --> 00:46:06.600
because they may have seen things

876
00:46:06.600 --> 00:46:09.640
and think that maybe that could have helped them

877
00:46:10.760 --> 00:46:13.920
not go a certain way with the person

878
00:46:13.920 --> 00:46:15.920
that they ended up getting married with.

879
00:46:17.800 --> 00:46:19.640
Yeah, and I hear what you're saying

880
00:46:19.640 --> 00:46:23.520
and I don't wanna dismiss people's hypothesis

881
00:46:23.520 --> 00:46:25.160
of what they think could have helped them

882
00:46:25.160 --> 00:46:26.800
kind of dodge a bullet.

883
00:46:26.800 --> 00:46:29.600
But the truth is, biblically speaking,

884
00:46:29.600 --> 00:46:34.440
that fornication is what out of covenant sex is called

885
00:46:34.440 --> 00:46:37.120
and it's actually a whole different bullet.

886
00:46:37.120 --> 00:46:40.680
And so even if you end up marrying that person,

887
00:46:40.680 --> 00:46:43.280
engaging in fornication with that person

888
00:46:43.280 --> 00:46:47.040
before you marry them is always a bad idea

889
00:46:47.040 --> 00:46:51.320
because it actually introduces what sin introduces

890
00:46:51.320 --> 00:46:53.400
into relationships and that's death.

891
00:46:54.400 --> 00:46:58.400
So what I've seen specifically and had a front row seat to

892
00:46:58.400 --> 00:47:01.800
for people who have had sex before they've gotten married

893
00:47:01.800 --> 00:47:06.680
has been that it has introduced death to trust.

894
00:47:08.000 --> 00:47:10.880
So even though it's consensual, no one was being forced,

895
00:47:10.880 --> 00:47:13.680
no one's being coerced or pressured,

896
00:47:13.680 --> 00:47:17.440
the woman, the way that the feminine is made,

897
00:47:17.440 --> 00:47:21.240
she expects the masculine in a divine sense

898
00:47:21.240 --> 00:47:23.520
and covenants are only made divinely, y'all.

899
00:47:23.520 --> 00:47:24.920
You can make contracts all day long

900
00:47:24.920 --> 00:47:26.280
with anyone you wanna make,

901
00:47:26.280 --> 00:47:29.080
but if you wanna make a covenant, then that involves God.

902
00:47:29.080 --> 00:47:33.680
In order to invite God into sealing your marriage together,

903
00:47:33.680 --> 00:47:38.600
both people have to be in agreement

904
00:47:38.600 --> 00:47:41.680
with each other and with God, right?

905
00:47:41.680 --> 00:47:45.520
And so one thing that a woman, the feminine expects,

906
00:47:45.520 --> 00:47:47.760
even unconsciously in a covenant

907
00:47:47.760 --> 00:47:49.640
is to be covered and protected.

908
00:47:50.640 --> 00:47:55.640
And so if a man is willing to, even if you want to as well,

909
00:47:56.240 --> 00:48:01.080
not follow God in his behavior towards you

910
00:48:01.080 --> 00:48:04.760
before you're married, then it introduces the idea

911
00:48:04.760 --> 00:48:07.240
that this is not truly a man of God.

912
00:48:07.240 --> 00:48:09.160
Now I know that's not fair

913
00:48:09.160 --> 00:48:12.920
because you wanted to do it too, right?

914
00:48:12.920 --> 00:48:15.400
And it was completely consensual,

915
00:48:15.400 --> 00:48:17.360
but at the same time, it's not about fair,

916
00:48:17.360 --> 00:48:20.480
it's about spiritual transactions.

917
00:48:20.480 --> 00:48:23.720
And sex is a spiritual transaction.

918
00:48:23.720 --> 00:48:26.040
It's not merely a physical transaction.

919
00:48:26.040 --> 00:48:27.240
That's what the Bible tells us.

920
00:48:27.240 --> 00:48:29.640
It's not common, it's actually holy.

921
00:48:30.800 --> 00:48:33.360
So these are the issues with premarital sex

922
00:48:33.360 --> 00:48:37.720
because it's going to introduce distrust at the best

923
00:48:37.720 --> 00:48:39.320
and at the worst,

924
00:48:39.320 --> 00:48:42.040
it's going to actually introduce infidelity.

925
00:48:48.360 --> 00:48:50.720
It's very quiet on this call.

926
00:48:50.720 --> 00:48:51.760
I know.

927
00:48:52.680 --> 00:48:54.000
You guys, we were next door neighbors.

928
00:48:54.000 --> 00:48:56.320
And when I tell you that we wanted to go ahead

929
00:48:56.320 --> 00:49:01.320
and get the party started, we did, you know?

930
00:49:01.480 --> 00:49:04.080
And we got the pre-party started,

931
00:49:05.120 --> 00:49:08.360
but we wanted to get the full party started, but we didn't.

932
00:49:08.360 --> 00:49:10.000
We were next door neighbors and we could have,

933
00:49:10.000 --> 00:49:12.480
but we made a decision that, you know what?

934
00:49:12.480 --> 00:49:13.920
God's way is the best way.

935
00:49:13.920 --> 00:49:15.280
And we should just do it this way.

936
00:49:15.280 --> 00:49:17.720
We weren't religious or legalistic about it.

937
00:49:17.720 --> 00:49:21.160
We just knew that that is what we should do.

938
00:49:22.200 --> 00:49:23.560
And we did it.

939
00:49:23.560 --> 00:49:24.520
What's interesting-

940
00:49:24.520 --> 00:49:27.000
Can we talk about this right here too?

941
00:49:27.000 --> 00:49:27.840
Without sex?

942
00:49:27.840 --> 00:49:29.880
No, this is the six years.

943
00:49:29.880 --> 00:49:30.800
Go ahead and say what you're gonna say

944
00:49:30.800 --> 00:49:32.120
and let's make sure we go back here.

945
00:49:32.120 --> 00:49:36.000
I just, you know, to put a little bit of perspective

946
00:49:36.000 --> 00:49:38.120
around the whole sexuality,

947
00:49:38.120 --> 00:49:40.480
all of the questions around sexuality,

948
00:49:41.000 --> 00:49:45.280
I'm not gonna try to historically comment

949
00:49:45.280 --> 00:49:48.480
on periods of time or whatever,

950
00:49:48.480 --> 00:49:51.680
but this is a relatively new thing.

951
00:49:51.680 --> 00:49:55.320
Sex is not new, but the whole heightened awareness

952
00:49:55.320 --> 00:49:59.560
over sexualization of a culture that we live in is-

953
00:49:59.560 --> 00:50:00.400
So good.

954
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:20.000
It's new, overlaid with all of the technology and information that we have about it. Like, you could have looked at Sodom and Gomorrah and say that's an overly sexualized culture and it was at the same time probably even worse than what we see today.

955
00:50:20.000 --> 00:50:40.000
And at the same time, the, we all have been to a degree, you know, sexually abused just by the culture we live in the attention that's given to sex and sexualization of, of, of everything and everybody I mean you can't even sell like, you know, gum

956
00:50:40.000 --> 00:50:43.000
without it being sexy you know it's just ridiculous.

957
00:50:43.000 --> 00:50:58.000
And so we all are dealing with this so that's why these even this that's why these questions even come up, or why there's such attention given to why this is so important, you know, and if you were to be honest, not that you're not being honest

958
00:50:58.000 --> 00:51:08.000
but if you were to just kind of like look at it for, you know, on its face, you know, sex in, in, in general, it's just overrated.

959
00:51:08.000 --> 00:51:29.000
I mean how much of it, can you like consume, obviously a lot, but I'm just saying it's just like what, I mean, this is why you get desensitized to the act of the intimacy the beauty the holiness of the actual sex act in a covenant holy relationship

960
00:51:30.000 --> 00:51:46.000
is because there's so much input of it through everything that's around us, let alone, consuming it yourself in an appropriate way so it's just really troublesome to begin with and I'm not, I'm not coming down on I'm just saying it's a really hard

961
00:51:46.000 --> 00:52:03.000
thing to do because these are real things that people experiencing their, their, their things, but the marriage is an a time to be able to bring all of that into perspective, the, the, the, what are we doing here.

962
00:52:03.000 --> 00:52:18.000
Marriage is for the purpose of coming together in into me see it is the bond of matrimony, it is a holy thing, it is a most vulnerable type of interaction.

963
00:52:18.000 --> 00:52:33.000
And so, so spiritually speaking what people don't realize is that sex in inside covenant actually promotes connection. Yeah. Okay. But outside of covenant it promotes disconnection. Yeah, even though it might be good it might physically feel good.

964
00:52:33.000 --> 00:52:47.000
Remember your body is not the thing making the covenant, it is your spirit and your soul making the covenant. Okay, and so your spirit and soul have to be able to connect before your body should get its chance, your body should be the last thing that connects.

965
00:52:47.000 --> 00:52:49.000
Right.

966
00:52:49.000 --> 00:52:59.000
And if your spirit and soul feel safe and your spirit and soul are being well taken care of, then your body will want to as well. Guess what if they don't care about your spirit, then they're not your spirit mate.

967
00:53:00.000 --> 00:53:04.000
If they don't care about your body, then they're your flesh mate their body mate.

968
00:53:04.000 --> 00:53:18.000
Hannah saying something about didn't I say on a previous live that it was okay to live together if you're engaged, because that is those are practical as practical advice about the woman who lived, because she moved from across the country and lived in the

969
00:53:19.000 --> 00:53:22.000
house as her fiance in his daughter's room.

970
00:53:22.000 --> 00:53:34.000
Those that's practical advice. The question that I asked on my Instagram implied sex before marriage and implied living together as husband and wife without being married.

971
00:53:34.000 --> 00:53:45.000
So, basically speaking, you might have to share accommodations leading up to the wedding we did that my lease was up on my townhouse, what about a month before.

972
00:53:46.000 --> 00:54:05.000
Yeah, a month before. And so I moved in to his townhouse me and my daughter moved in with them. And up until the wedding. So, dwelling, dwelling in a doss domicile together and living as a married couple together, two different things promise you I did it with my ex

973
00:54:05.000 --> 00:54:12.000
wife for two years as I was living in my house estranged from my wife for longest time.

974
00:54:12.000 --> 00:54:27.000
And so, not saying that's ideal. It's not, you know, I think I'm glad that sex got brought up. Thank you, Johanna for bringing it up so I think that one of the things that we all forget is that most people.

975
00:54:28.000 --> 00:54:35.000
Most people have not had sex, the way that God intended it.

976
00:54:35.000 --> 00:54:39.000
And I'm not talking about the missionary position y'all. Okay.

977
00:54:39.000 --> 00:54:57.000
All right, I'm talking about the connection of spirits full and body through into me see the place of trust and connection, the place where the place where you know your, your oneness really is magnified.

978
00:54:57.000 --> 00:55:00.000
Most people, you know why they haven't had it that way.

979
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.360
know what it is. No one ever told them about it. And all of

980
00:55:03.360 --> 00:55:08.480
the examples and modeling they have for sex have been not good.

981
00:55:09.120 --> 00:55:16.160
Movies, music, pornography, family, you know, public

982
00:55:16.160 --> 00:55:20.800
education, peers that are watching movies, and you know,

983
00:55:20.800 --> 00:55:24.240
porn and all different types of things. And so they're finding

984
00:55:24.240 --> 00:55:29.280
out about this cursed state of sex, just like everything else,

985
00:55:29.280 --> 00:55:35.520
sex has a divine design, and it has a cursed state. And so a lot

986
00:55:35.520 --> 00:55:40.560
of people have been partaking of it over here. And yeah, it feels

987
00:55:40.560 --> 00:55:43.520
good to your body. Until afterwards, when you're left

988
00:55:43.520 --> 00:55:46.800
with shame, you feel shamed, when you feel disconnected, you

989
00:55:46.800 --> 00:55:49.920
don't even know why you're like, I'm married. Why do I feel bad

990
00:55:49.920 --> 00:55:54.720
about having sex? Because your spirits and your souls are not

991
00:55:54.720 --> 00:55:57.040
connecting, your bodies are connecting. And afterwards,

992
00:55:57.120 --> 00:56:03.120
you're feeling used. That's why. After it's all over, and

993
00:56:03.120 --> 00:56:06.720
everyone's gotten what they came for, you're feeling used,

994
00:56:06.720 --> 00:56:12.240
you're feeling empty. And so so many Christians are waiting till

995
00:56:12.240 --> 00:56:16.000
they can legally have sex, do it God's way, don't be disobedient,

996
00:56:16.000 --> 00:56:19.920
but their heart is full of garbage about what sex is. And

997
00:56:19.920 --> 00:56:23.840
even though their body has not, you know, forgive my language

998
00:56:23.920 --> 00:56:27.600
been penetrated in intercourse, or vice versa penetrated anyone

999
00:56:27.600 --> 00:56:30.960
in intercourse doesn't mean that when you get to that moment,

1000
00:56:30.960 --> 00:56:34.080
that it is not going to invoke shame inside of you because of

1001
00:56:34.080 --> 00:56:36.960
all the bad information and baggage that you brought to it.

1002
00:56:39.200 --> 00:56:42.800
There's a lot of layers here, y'all. A lot of layers.

1003
00:56:43.440 --> 00:56:49.120
So I have a question around that. Okay, call me, I don't know

1004
00:56:49.120 --> 00:56:53.120
how to how to process this. But I have, outside of covenant,

1005
00:56:54.320 --> 00:56:59.520
or outside of marriage, had sex where I felt the the complete

1006
00:56:59.520 --> 00:57:04.080
merging together a oneness. And I didn't feel that with every

1007
00:57:04.080 --> 00:57:08.000
sexual experience of people I've had sex with. But I did in one

1008
00:57:08.000 --> 00:57:11.280
particular case. And I don't know how to compute that because

1009
00:57:11.280 --> 00:57:15.840
I felt that merging together of complete oneness. We both felt

1010
00:57:15.840 --> 00:57:20.240
that. So does that mean I'm like I just said, it's not it's

1011
00:57:20.240 --> 00:57:23.440
not common. It's spiritual. So there is emerging together

1012
00:57:23.440 --> 00:57:27.920
during sex. And that's where a lot of soul ties come from. So

1013
00:57:27.920 --> 00:57:30.560
when we're not planning on being part of covenant with each

1014
00:57:30.560 --> 00:57:33.120
other, when we haven't made a covenant commitment, just so you

1015
00:57:33.120 --> 00:57:35.280
guys know, I don't think covenants are made in churches,

1016
00:57:35.280 --> 00:57:38.480
just like I don't think divorce courts and covenants. I think

1017
00:57:38.480 --> 00:57:42.800
that covenants are made between two people and God. And then I

1018
00:57:42.800 --> 00:57:45.520
do believe that there is there is precedent in the Bible for

1019
00:57:45.520 --> 00:57:48.960
there to be a witness portion of that. Okay, so whether

1020
00:57:48.960 --> 00:57:53.120
someone witnesses witnesses it afterwards, or someone witnesses

1021
00:57:53.120 --> 00:57:56.480
it beforehand, you know, back in the olden days, they used to

1022
00:57:56.480 --> 00:57:59.440
witness the consummation of marriages, and that the

1023
00:57:59.440 --> 00:58:02.240
covenant actually was created by sex. Did you guys know that

1024
00:58:02.240 --> 00:58:04.240
that's how the covenant was created? The covenant was

1025
00:58:04.240 --> 00:58:11.120
created by the two people coming together in in, in having sex.

1026
00:58:11.920 --> 00:58:19.040
And so, and then the party got started. And so, yes, there is a

1027
00:58:19.040 --> 00:58:23.680
spiritual aspect to sex, Johanna, there is. But if you're

1028
00:58:23.680 --> 00:58:27.120
not making a covenant with that person, then to what end?

1029
00:58:31.120 --> 00:58:34.800
Thank you. Because I mean, I don't know if I answered your

1030
00:58:34.800 --> 00:58:38.640
question. But yes, there are, there are guys that get created

1031
00:58:38.720 --> 00:58:42.160
by that. And I'm not, and I'm very aware of that. Like,

1032
00:58:42.160 --> 00:58:45.120
there's no, that's not new information. For me, I'm very

1033
00:58:45.120 --> 00:58:49.440
aware of that. I think that that's my part of the question

1034
00:58:49.440 --> 00:58:52.400
and why I'm thinking about all this and bringing it up is like,

1035
00:58:52.400 --> 00:58:57.360
because of my, my experience in life and choices I've made in

1036
00:58:57.360 --> 00:59:01.600
thinking about, okay, I really would like to not have sex with

1037
00:59:01.600 --> 00:59:05.600
somebody before I get married my partner, and then I'm running

1038
00:59:05.600 --> 00:59:08.400
up against with the sexual healing that I've done in

1039
00:59:08.400 --> 00:59:11.680
healing, if I still am running up against these questions, when

1040
00:59:11.680 --> 00:59:14.880
I meet somebody of like, well, am I going to be set? I have

1041
00:59:14.880 --> 00:59:19.680
been very satisfied. And I do understand that maybe, maybe

1042
00:59:19.680 --> 00:59:22.240
there's something I haven't experienced, it's even greater.

1043
00:59:22.240 --> 00:59:26.000
But like, I am, I am hitting those things of like, well, can

1044
00:59:26.000 --> 00:59:28.320
I trust? Like, can I really?

1045
00:59:28.880 --> 00:59:31.840
Can I ask you? Can I ask you? I mean, you're sharing personal

1046
00:59:31.840 --> 00:59:34.240
information. So I'm assuming that you're open to questions

1047
00:59:34.320 --> 00:59:38.480
why this person that you felt so merged with and so one with

1048
00:59:38.480 --> 00:59:39.520
why didn't you marry them?

1049
00:59:41.920 --> 00:59:47.600
Because at the end of the day, they weren't, they decided not

1050
00:59:47.600 --> 00:59:53.760
to be a Christian and it was going to we were we didn't think

1051
00:59:53.760 --> 00:59:59.840
that it was gonna work. He didn't want he he

1052
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:08.240
the decision and he didn't want to be in that, in that type of relationship.

1053
01:00:10.160 --> 01:00:16.480
And let me ask you a question. Did that, did that break your heart? Absolutely. Yeah. And

1054
01:00:16.480 --> 01:00:24.240
this is the reason why. So while you may have found someone who, you know, you're hitting on

1055
01:00:24.240 --> 01:00:28.160
all cylinders with and your body's decided that they want it to be on board with that,

1056
01:00:29.120 --> 01:00:32.960
that soul connection that you guys had, you didn't have the spirit connection. Couldn't

1057
01:00:32.960 --> 01:00:38.880
get there because he, you know, he didn't want to surrender his spirit to Christ.

1058
01:00:39.680 --> 01:00:45.520
And so there wasn't anywhere to go from there. And when there wasn't anywhere to go from there,

1059
01:00:45.520 --> 01:00:50.880
then that causes heartbreak. You know, God knows how we're made y'all. And I just want to let you

1060
01:00:50.960 --> 01:00:57.680
get a new note. You guys know, the character of God is not to create rules for the sake of rules,

1061
01:00:58.720 --> 01:01:04.160
not to create boundaries for the sake of boundaries, not to put up guardrails on roads,

1062
01:01:04.160 --> 01:01:11.280
just because he wants to. It's to protect us because he knows the frailty of our design.

1063
01:01:12.400 --> 01:01:18.080
He knows what we can handle and what we can't handle. And he knows the spirituality.

1064
01:01:19.040 --> 01:01:29.520
Okay. And the power of sex. He knows it's a make you or break you kind of situation. I want you

1065
01:01:29.520 --> 01:01:32.880
to raise your hand. We didn't intend on going here, but holy spirits brought us here. So this

1066
01:01:32.880 --> 01:01:37.040
is what we're going to do. I want you to raise your hand. If you've had some sort of sexual

1067
01:01:37.040 --> 01:01:40.720
experience, it doesn't have to have been intercourse, but some kind of sexual experience

1068
01:01:40.720 --> 01:01:50.480
that you felt at some level broke you. It hurts you. It broke your heart. You felt deceived. You

1069
01:01:50.480 --> 01:01:56.800
felt used. You felt taken advantage of you felt violated, or, you know, you just, you felt so

1070
01:01:56.800 --> 01:02:03.600
connected and they passed away. They're they're gone. They're not on the earth anymore. You felt

1071
01:02:04.400 --> 01:02:09.680
blindsided or deceived by someone who, you know, promised you a lot of things.

1072
01:02:09.680 --> 01:02:17.760
And then I didn't work out. It didn't happen. You guys, the majority of you have your hands up.

1073
01:02:20.240 --> 01:02:27.840
Okay. It's a huge number of people. So hopefully you can see this by that, that small exercise,

1074
01:02:27.840 --> 01:02:40.720
the power that this has on people. Okay. So may all the people, may all of you, may all of you,

1075
01:02:40.720 --> 01:02:47.760
the next sexual experience that you have, where your body is wanting to jump on board with what

1076
01:02:47.760 --> 01:02:54.240
your spirit and your soul have already signed off on. May those experiences be experiences that

1077
01:02:54.240 --> 01:02:59.440
make you better people. May those experiences be experiences that heal you because I believe

1078
01:02:59.440 --> 01:03:07.040
hurting sex healed in sex. May they be experiences that help you feel more connected to God.

1079
01:03:07.840 --> 01:03:11.600
Did you know that good sex helps you make you feel more connected to God? I know a lot of

1080
01:03:11.600 --> 01:03:15.120
people are like, well, I don't really want God hanging around while I'm having sex.

1081
01:03:15.120 --> 01:03:20.160
And that's your first problem. You sex has shame attached to it. So for you,

1082
01:03:20.480 --> 01:03:26.800
yeah. Just so you know, God can see you having sex just so you know. So it's not just like,

1083
01:03:26.800 --> 01:03:30.720
he's like, okay, turn that video screen off. They're having sex over here. You guys,

1084
01:03:30.720 --> 01:03:36.400
that's not how it works. We're inside of him. It's in him that we move and breathe and have our being.

1085
01:03:37.200 --> 01:03:40.240
And I think this is a really important subject. You and I were actually talking about it.

1086
01:03:40.240 --> 01:03:45.920
Yeah. I just, you know, I'm just still so taken aback, not, not in the context of this conversation.

1087
01:03:46.800 --> 01:03:51.360
I think this is a, just a precipitation of what I'm feeling, but I'm just so in our culture and

1088
01:03:51.360 --> 01:04:00.240
our world, especially in the Christian community, this is such a tab taboo subject because of the

1089
01:04:00.240 --> 01:04:06.000
shame, because of the over-sexualization it's in quite honest, I don't mean to reduce it to

1090
01:04:06.640 --> 01:04:12.960
such a simple thing, but it's, it's a bondage of the enemy, the strategy of the enemy to just keep

1091
01:04:13.040 --> 01:04:22.080
you out of, you know, intimacy out of truth out of like, and, and, and that being said,

1092
01:04:22.080 --> 01:04:27.840
we have to make sure that all of, you know, that just like Johanna, if you've had sex

1093
01:04:28.480 --> 01:04:33.760
outside of covenant, the story's not over for you. It's not like, it's not a one and done

1094
01:04:33.760 --> 01:04:38.080
situation where you can't come back from that, or you can't make a decision to do something

1095
01:04:38.080 --> 01:04:43.760
different than that. It's not something that you can't, you know, move, move upwards from.

1096
01:04:44.560 --> 01:04:49.840
I think that the problem is, is a lot of people don't understand that sex is not physical. It's

1097
01:04:49.840 --> 01:04:54.800
spiritual. It has physical aspects to it, but it's a spiritual act. Yeah.

1098
01:04:56.880 --> 01:04:59.920
You guys know how people always say that rape is not a sexual.

1099
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:02.240
It's a sexual act, it's an act of violence.

1100
01:05:02.240 --> 01:05:03.840
Yeah.

1101
01:05:03.840 --> 01:05:05.960
Because there's a spirit attached to it,

1102
01:05:05.960 --> 01:05:10.960
a spirit that wants to, you know, violate, humiliate.

1103
01:05:14.040 --> 01:05:18.000
Completely rob of identity.

1104
01:05:18.000 --> 01:05:19.040
Yeah, steal your identity.

1105
01:05:19.040 --> 01:05:22.360
You guys, when armies would be at war,

1106
01:05:22.360 --> 01:05:25.280
one of the first things that they would do historically

1107
01:05:25.280 --> 01:05:28.000
when they came into places that they were occupying

1108
01:05:28.000 --> 01:05:29.680
or taking over is they would rape

1109
01:05:29.680 --> 01:05:30.760
all the women and children.

1110
01:05:30.760 --> 01:05:32.160
Yeah, rape, pillage, and plunder.

1111
01:05:32.160 --> 01:05:34.240
I mean, that was like common.

1112
01:05:34.240 --> 01:05:35.880
Do you think it was just because, you know,

1113
01:05:35.880 --> 01:05:37.640
excuse my language, but they were horny

1114
01:05:37.640 --> 01:05:39.400
because they had been in battle for so long

1115
01:05:39.400 --> 01:05:40.480
and they just wanted to come in

1116
01:05:40.480 --> 01:05:41.720
and have sex with a bunch of people?

1117
01:05:41.720 --> 01:05:42.840
No, it was domination.

1118
01:05:42.840 --> 01:05:45.440
No, it was about domination, intimidation, and fear.

1119
01:05:45.440 --> 01:05:46.280
Thank you.

1120
01:05:48.720 --> 01:05:49.880
I'm not laughing at that,

1121
01:05:49.880 --> 01:05:53.080
but I'm laughing at how in tune we are.

1122
01:05:53.080 --> 01:05:55.840
And you guys, that's what sex will do.

1123
01:05:55.840 --> 01:05:57.040
And the thing is, is you know what?

1124
01:05:57.080 --> 01:05:59.000
We always call good sex something

1125
01:05:59.000 --> 01:06:01.400
that makes us feel good in our bodies

1126
01:06:01.400 --> 01:06:04.400
and we have good orgasms and that's good sex.

1127
01:06:04.400 --> 01:06:07.160
Wow, man, that was good sex.

1128
01:06:07.160 --> 01:06:11.040
Good sex is when you feel connected

1129
01:06:11.040 --> 01:06:13.320
and you feel seen and known.

1130
01:06:13.320 --> 01:06:15.040
You feel safe.

1131
01:06:15.040 --> 01:06:16.760
You feel that oneness.

1132
01:06:16.760 --> 01:06:19.280
You feel that divinity of God.

1133
01:06:20.560 --> 01:06:22.280
That's good sex.

1134
01:06:22.280 --> 01:06:24.560
The stakes are high in this.

1135
01:06:24.560 --> 01:06:27.120
And the reason is, is because this is just one

1136
01:06:27.120 --> 01:06:31.880
of those areas where it's just so divine.

1137
01:06:31.880 --> 01:06:35.400
And it's just, it's easy to get it wrong.

1138
01:06:35.400 --> 01:06:38.400
It's the same reason why baking a cake,

1139
01:06:38.400 --> 01:06:40.400
baking cake is difficult.

1140
01:06:40.400 --> 01:06:44.200
Simple ingredients, very simple ingredients.

1141
01:06:44.200 --> 01:06:46.560
But how many, you know, cakes have you ever had

1142
01:06:46.560 --> 01:06:47.800
that were just like, oh my gosh,

1143
01:06:47.800 --> 01:06:49.360
this is the best cake in the world?

1144
01:06:49.360 --> 01:06:52.240
It's because someone knows how to put those ingredients

1145
01:06:52.240 --> 01:06:56.080
together in the right way that just is so unbelievably

1146
01:06:56.080 --> 01:06:59.280
like, like this is out of this world.

1147
01:06:59.280 --> 01:07:03.280
I mean, I'm just, you know, it's like,

1148
01:07:03.280 --> 01:07:07.040
this is just one of those things where, you know,

1149
01:07:07.040 --> 01:07:09.600
the stakes are really, really, really high.

1150
01:07:09.600 --> 01:07:12.760
But you guys, a lot of times we equate sex.

1151
01:07:12.760 --> 01:07:14.400
It's so good, babe.

1152
01:07:14.400 --> 01:07:15.240
That's such a good analogy.

1153
01:07:15.240 --> 01:07:16.080
Is it really?

1154
01:07:16.080 --> 01:07:16.920
It is.

1155
01:07:16.920 --> 01:07:18.240
It's so good.

1156
01:07:18.280 --> 01:07:20.080
We equate sex.

1157
01:07:20.080 --> 01:07:22.280
Holy spirit speaking through you.

1158
01:07:22.280 --> 01:07:26.440
We equate sex to the animal part of us, right?

1159
01:07:28.000 --> 01:07:29.360
Hormone part of us.

1160
01:07:29.360 --> 01:07:32.640
Oh, I just can't wait to have sex, you know?

1161
01:07:32.640 --> 01:07:37.160
Yeah, well, that's the kind of animal part of you, right?

1162
01:07:37.160 --> 01:07:39.600
You're physical, but you're also spiritual

1163
01:07:39.600 --> 01:07:43.120
and you also have the soul part, this heart part of you.

1164
01:07:43.120 --> 01:07:45.880
And so sex can't be just good for the physical part of you.

1165
01:07:45.880 --> 01:07:48.640
It has to be good for all the other parts of you as well.

1166
01:07:48.640 --> 01:07:50.720
And you guys, I just, I don't want to burst your bubble,

1167
01:07:50.720 --> 01:07:52.360
but the physical part of sex,

1168
01:07:52.360 --> 01:07:54.960
a lot of times when you're really attracted

1169
01:07:54.960 --> 01:07:57.440
to someone physically, it's hormonal.

1170
01:07:58.920 --> 01:08:00.400
It's a hormonal thing.

1171
01:08:00.400 --> 01:08:02.520
Guys, I just want to let you know, women are on a cycle

1172
01:08:02.520 --> 01:08:04.400
and I believe men are on a cycle too.

1173
01:08:04.400 --> 01:08:06.560
We don't talk about men's cycles as much as women,

1174
01:08:06.560 --> 01:08:09.080
but women have cycles and men do too.

1175
01:08:09.080 --> 01:08:11.600
And women have a cycle where she will literally

1176
01:08:11.600 --> 01:08:13.120
eat your face off.

1177
01:08:14.120 --> 01:08:17.520
She will, all right?

1178
01:08:17.520 --> 01:08:20.439
This is why even people in terrible marriages

1179
01:08:20.439 --> 01:08:21.720
where they're mistreating each other

1180
01:08:21.720 --> 01:08:23.080
and talking down to each other,

1181
01:08:23.080 --> 01:08:27.160
end up having all this crazy, what I call porn sex,

1182
01:08:27.160 --> 01:08:29.680
where they just are all over each other like animals,

1183
01:08:29.680 --> 01:08:32.040
you know, fight and make up

1184
01:08:32.040 --> 01:08:34.080
because it's hormonally driven.

1185
01:08:34.080 --> 01:08:35.720
You'll see that depicted in a movie and it'd be like,

1186
01:08:35.720 --> 01:08:38.319
oh, see, they really love each other.

1187
01:08:38.319 --> 01:08:41.200
No, they don't really love each other.

1188
01:08:43.120 --> 01:08:48.120
They're just, they're just raw.

1189
01:08:51.120 --> 01:08:54.319
The producers put it in their interviews.

1190
01:08:54.319 --> 01:08:57.680
Yeah, from the immortal words of Tina Turner,

1191
01:08:57.680 --> 01:08:59.000
what's love got to do with it?

1192
01:08:59.000 --> 01:09:00.319
Exactly.

1193
01:09:00.319 --> 01:09:01.319
Nothing.

1194
01:09:01.319 --> 01:09:04.399
All right, so I'm glad we talked about this

1195
01:09:04.399 --> 01:09:05.840
because I think a lot of people

1196
01:09:05.840 --> 01:09:08.960
are equating sex with love and love with sex.

1197
01:09:08.960 --> 01:09:10.399
And we're talking about love stories.

1198
01:09:10.399 --> 01:09:12.000
So this has turned into sex story tonight

1199
01:09:12.000 --> 01:09:12.840
instead of love story.

1200
01:09:13.600 --> 01:09:14.600
But I also want to say-

1201
01:09:14.600 --> 01:09:17.640
But people need to understand that, you know,

1202
01:09:18.720 --> 01:09:20.319
the thing that's driving you

1203
01:09:20.319 --> 01:09:23.120
into wanting to have relationship is the spirit of God.

1204
01:09:23.120 --> 01:09:24.720
The thing that's driving you to partner

1205
01:09:24.720 --> 01:09:26.600
is the spirit of God, okay?

1206
01:09:26.600 --> 01:09:28.840
It's not your body that's like, I'm so lonely

1207
01:09:28.840 --> 01:09:30.040
and I just want someone to hold me

1208
01:09:30.040 --> 01:09:32.880
and I just want to, you know, make love with someone.

1209
01:09:32.880 --> 01:09:35.560
You know, that's part of it,

1210
01:09:35.560 --> 01:09:37.279
but that's not what's driving you to partner.

1211
01:09:37.279 --> 01:09:40.680
What's driving you to partner is it's your divine design

1212
01:09:40.680 --> 01:09:42.840
and it's so much more than sex.

1213
01:09:42.840 --> 01:09:43.680
Yeah.

1214
01:09:43.680 --> 01:09:44.520
So much more.

1215
01:09:44.520 --> 01:09:46.520
And I'll say one more thing really quickly.

1216
01:09:46.520 --> 01:09:49.840
Johanna, one of the ways that we get around

1217
01:09:49.840 --> 01:09:51.479
what you're talking about ending up with someone,

1218
01:09:51.479 --> 01:09:52.399
like you said, you have a friend

1219
01:09:52.399 --> 01:09:54.279
that didn't have sex for six years.

1220
01:09:54.279 --> 01:09:56.400
First of all, that wasn't a physical issue

1221
01:09:56.400 --> 01:09:57.880
where this man had a low libido

1222
01:09:57.880 --> 01:10:00.680
and didn't want to have sex or something more going on.

1223
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:01.520
on in that story.

1224
01:10:01.520 --> 01:10:02.360
Okay.

1225
01:10:02.360 --> 01:10:04.160
There's something more going on in that story.

1226
01:10:04.160 --> 01:10:05.960
Yeah, he could have had some impotence problems.

1227
01:10:05.960 --> 01:10:07.880
He could have had some libido hormonal problems,

1228
01:10:07.880 --> 01:10:10.280
but he also probably had some heartwork problems.

1229
01:10:10.280 --> 01:10:13.320
There's also probably some issues that you're not privy to

1230
01:10:13.320 --> 01:10:15.520
of things happening in that situation.

1231
01:10:15.520 --> 01:10:17.240
And one of the ways we get around that

1232
01:10:17.240 --> 01:10:22.240
in the premarital phase is you do good coaching.

1233
01:10:22.280 --> 01:10:23.800
Simbis, which is what we teach,

1234
01:10:23.800 --> 01:10:25.280
save your marriage before it starts,

1235
01:10:25.280 --> 01:10:28.280
and what we have available for our people.

1236
01:10:28.280 --> 01:10:29.920
If you want to take that course,

1237
01:10:29.960 --> 01:10:31.560
we get into the sex talk.

1238
01:10:31.560 --> 01:10:33.040
We talk about sex.

1239
01:10:33.040 --> 01:10:35.200
The computer rates your desire for each other.

1240
01:10:35.200 --> 01:10:36.920
It even asks how, you know,

1241
01:10:36.920 --> 01:10:38.720
your plan for frequency of sex,

1242
01:10:38.720 --> 01:10:41.680
like once a week, twice a week, twice a day.

1243
01:10:41.680 --> 01:10:43.120
It rates all those things

1244
01:10:43.120 --> 01:10:45.000
so that you can have those discussions

1245
01:10:45.000 --> 01:10:47.240
way before you ever say, I do.

1246
01:10:47.240 --> 01:10:48.520
Go ahead.

1247
01:10:48.520 --> 01:10:51.040
You know, the wisdom of scripture,

1248
01:10:51.040 --> 01:10:53.960
the wisdom of God, the wisdom of heaven,

1249
01:10:53.960 --> 01:10:58.200
you know, you can always find a story

1250
01:10:58.200 --> 01:11:01.600
that can be the exception to that wisdom.

1251
01:11:01.600 --> 01:11:03.120
Yeah, but this, yeah, but that.

1252
01:11:03.120 --> 01:11:05.400
And the thing about it is, is in every instance,

1253
01:11:05.400 --> 01:11:08.400
there's always a part of that story of information

1254
01:11:08.400 --> 01:11:12.080
that you don't know, or that's left out, that's not known.

1255
01:11:12.080 --> 01:11:13.400
It's more complex than that.

1256
01:11:13.400 --> 01:11:17.360
And the wisdom of heaven will always, always trump that.

1257
01:11:17.360 --> 01:11:19.560
But it is my, and I just want to say that in there,

1258
01:11:19.560 --> 01:11:22.080
but it's my desire that in this conversation,

1259
01:11:22.080 --> 01:11:26.360
even as we're having this, that, you know,

1260
01:11:26.360 --> 01:11:29.680
everyone on this call is single.

1261
01:11:29.680 --> 01:11:32.720
I would never want anybody to leave this call

1262
01:11:33.800 --> 01:11:35.720
having heard this discussion

1263
01:11:35.720 --> 01:11:39.880
and feeling less than feeling like,

1264
01:11:39.880 --> 01:11:42.880
oh my gosh, it's so hard to overcome this,

1265
01:11:42.880 --> 01:11:46.400
or I'm hearing all this in juxtaposition

1266
01:11:46.400 --> 01:11:49.040
with my life experience and what I'm going through

1267
01:11:49.040 --> 01:11:52.600
and making it sound like this is,

1268
01:11:53.560 --> 01:11:56.480
this is really not only difficult,

1269
01:11:56.480 --> 01:11:58.160
but then even more shame,

1270
01:11:58.160 --> 01:11:59.600
because you're realizing things

1271
01:11:59.600 --> 01:12:03.080
about your own experience with sexuality.

1272
01:12:03.080 --> 01:12:05.000
There's no shame in this at all.

1273
01:12:05.000 --> 01:12:08.720
Shame is not a productive heavenly emotion.

1274
01:12:08.720 --> 01:12:10.280
So we're just going to set that aside

1275
01:12:10.280 --> 01:12:12.480
because that's not what this discussion was about.

1276
01:12:12.480 --> 01:12:14.640
And it was Holy Spirit led.

1277
01:12:14.640 --> 01:12:16.400
So I really just want to make sure

1278
01:12:16.400 --> 01:12:18.920
that the residue of this conversation

1279
01:12:18.920 --> 01:12:21.680
is that you are lifted up and you are encouraged

1280
01:12:21.720 --> 01:12:26.240
and you are enlightened by how we were talking about it

1281
01:12:26.240 --> 01:12:30.360
so that it can be something that you can consider.

1282
01:12:30.360 --> 01:12:31.920
This is a hard thing.

1283
01:12:31.920 --> 01:12:33.960
As the scripture says, this is a difficult thing.

1284
01:12:33.960 --> 01:12:34.920
This is a hard thing.

1285
01:12:34.920 --> 01:12:35.920
Let's ponder this.

1286
01:12:35.920 --> 01:12:37.280
Let's consider this.

1287
01:12:37.280 --> 01:12:39.640
Let's take this with great value

1288
01:12:39.640 --> 01:12:42.400
into the relationships that we're about to have.

1289
01:12:42.400 --> 01:12:43.840
And you guys, I noticed that

1290
01:12:43.840 --> 01:12:45.480
there were a lot more people on camera

1291
01:12:45.480 --> 01:12:47.160
when we started talking about this

1292
01:12:47.160 --> 01:12:49.320
and people turn their cameras off.

1293
01:12:49.320 --> 01:12:51.280
And so they don't even feel comfortable enough

1294
01:12:51.280 --> 01:12:53.040
to have their camera on for this discussion.

1295
01:12:53.040 --> 01:12:55.080
And these are things that we have to get ahold of

1296
01:12:55.080 --> 01:12:56.720
before you would ever get married.

1297
01:12:56.720 --> 01:12:57.560
It's hard.

1298
01:12:57.560 --> 01:12:59.640
Because if you have shame attached to sex,

1299
01:12:59.640 --> 01:13:01.680
then we need to deal with that, right?

1300
01:13:01.680 --> 01:13:03.080
We need to talk about that.

1301
01:13:03.080 --> 01:13:04.960
And this is another reason why we don't have sex

1302
01:13:04.960 --> 01:13:09.080
outside of covenant because God lists that as sin

1303
01:13:09.080 --> 01:13:12.040
and sin brings shame.

1304
01:13:12.040 --> 01:13:14.920
So you don't want to be in the sin shame cycle, right?

1305
01:13:14.920 --> 01:13:16.160
You don't want to be in that.

1306
01:13:16.160 --> 01:13:18.560
And I've even seen people try to legitimize

1307
01:13:18.560 --> 01:13:21.040
their sexual decisions by rushing to get married

1308
01:13:21.640 --> 01:13:22.920
to someone that they know they shouldn't marry

1309
01:13:22.920 --> 01:13:26.080
because there are other areas that are not safe

1310
01:13:26.080 --> 01:13:29.600
in that relationship, simply because they were having sex.

1311
01:13:30.800 --> 01:13:33.400
It's like, okay, well, I know this is wrong

1312
01:13:33.400 --> 01:13:36.400
and now I'm going to go get married so we can make it right.

1313
01:13:36.400 --> 01:13:39.840
Y'all do not do that, all right?

1314
01:13:39.840 --> 01:13:42.880
Just like any other behavior that's unworthy of you

1315
01:13:42.880 --> 01:13:47.640
and unworthy of your right standing with God through Christ,

1316
01:13:47.640 --> 01:13:49.520
we call these unworthy things sin.

1317
01:13:49.560 --> 01:13:53.000
Just like any other area where you would fall short,

1318
01:13:53.000 --> 01:13:56.320
there's forgiveness for you, there's grace for you.

1319
01:13:56.320 --> 01:13:59.560
There's changing direction and repentance

1320
01:13:59.560 --> 01:14:01.720
and doing things God's way instead of the way

1321
01:14:01.720 --> 01:14:03.640
that you were doing things, right?

1322
01:14:03.640 --> 01:14:05.840
And so please, that's all you need to do.

1323
01:14:05.840 --> 01:14:08.440
You don't need to try to make it right

1324
01:14:08.440 --> 01:14:11.000
by doing something else that's wrong,

1325
01:14:11.000 --> 01:14:14.640
like getting into a marriage that is not healthy.

1326
01:14:14.640 --> 01:14:15.600
Don't do that.

1327
01:14:15.600 --> 01:14:16.800
Babe, you're like a little furnace.

1328
01:14:16.800 --> 01:14:18.200
You're making me so hot.

1329
01:14:18.200 --> 01:14:20.880
Guys, I'm over here having like hot flashes

1330
01:14:20.880 --> 01:14:21.720
because he's emanating so much heat.

1331
01:14:21.720 --> 01:14:24.360
It's 106 degrees in Texas today.

1332
01:14:24.360 --> 01:14:27.200
It is, it's so, I think you just want to go

1333
01:14:27.200 --> 01:14:28.280
bake a cake with me.

1334
01:14:29.840 --> 01:14:31.800
I think that's really what's up.

1335
01:14:31.800 --> 01:14:32.800
If you guys didn't catch that,

1336
01:14:32.800 --> 01:14:35.360
then you weren't listening to my husband's perfect,

1337
01:14:35.360 --> 01:14:36.920
perfect cake analogy.

1338
01:14:36.920 --> 01:14:39.760
Okay, all right, so we have a few more minutes.

1339
01:14:39.760 --> 01:14:42.240
I know we had a big, long sex talk.

1340
01:14:42.240 --> 01:14:44.320
I think that it was definitely on time

1341
01:14:44.320 --> 01:14:45.400
and I'm glad that it happened.

1342
01:14:45.400 --> 01:14:48.040
So we're going to shift out of sex story

1343
01:14:48.040 --> 01:14:49.400
into back into love story.

1344
01:14:49.400 --> 01:14:51.880
Does anyone have any fun questions to ask

1345
01:14:51.880 --> 01:14:53.840
about love stories that maybe we have seen?

1346
01:14:53.840 --> 01:14:57.080
I will tell you that the trend right now in love stories,

1347
01:14:57.080 --> 01:14:59.360
it doesn't mean this has to be the trend for you,

1348
01:14:59.360 --> 01:15:00.200
but the trend.

1349
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.000
is people falling in love with their friends.

1350
01:15:04.840 --> 01:15:07.520
I'm seeing it, it's happening so much right now.

1351
01:15:07.520 --> 01:15:09.640
So many love stories from our community

1352
01:15:09.640 --> 01:15:12.240
and from people that I'm involved with,

1353
01:15:12.240 --> 01:15:15.960
with private clients and people that have come to my events

1354
01:15:15.960 --> 01:15:16.920
and different things.

1355
01:15:16.920 --> 01:15:20.600
They are falling in love with friends,

1356
01:15:20.600 --> 01:15:22.400
with people that have always just been their friends.

1357
01:15:22.400 --> 01:15:23.240
And then all of a sudden-

1358
01:15:23.240 --> 01:15:24.360
They're your best friend, right?

1359
01:15:24.360 --> 01:15:26.920
God opens their eyes and shows them

1360
01:15:26.920 --> 01:15:28.320
that there's something more.

1361
01:15:29.320 --> 01:15:30.920
I don't, here's the thing.

1362
01:15:30.920 --> 01:15:33.280
I don't really think we were ever really friends like that.

1363
01:15:33.280 --> 01:15:35.560
I know we say we were friends, but we weren't.

1364
01:15:35.560 --> 01:15:36.400
There was all kinds of-

1365
01:15:36.400 --> 01:15:37.360
Just finding this out.

1366
01:15:37.360 --> 01:15:39.560
There's all kinds of romantic tension there.

1367
01:15:39.560 --> 01:15:41.360
There was always romantic tension.

1368
01:15:41.360 --> 01:15:44.120
These people are legit friends, completely platonic.

1369
01:15:44.120 --> 01:15:44.960
No, that's true.

1370
01:15:44.960 --> 01:15:46.240
We did not- Fully friends.

1371
01:15:46.240 --> 01:15:47.800
Truthfully, we did not know it yet.

1372
01:15:47.800 --> 01:15:50.040
Yeah, truthfully, you always liked me

1373
01:15:50.040 --> 01:15:50.880
as more than a friend.

1374
01:15:50.880 --> 01:15:52.200
But you're my best friend right now.

1375
01:15:52.200 --> 01:15:54.040
I know, thank you.

1376
01:15:54.040 --> 01:15:57.960
Stephanie had a question a little while ago, Jackie.

1377
01:15:58.480 --> 01:16:00.080
Okay, let me roll back.

1378
01:16:00.080 --> 01:16:00.920
Unless you know what it is, Stephanie.

1379
01:16:00.920 --> 01:16:01.760
Oh, she has her hand up.

1380
01:16:01.760 --> 01:16:02.600
She has her hand up.

1381
01:16:02.600 --> 01:16:04.360
Oh, okay, go ahead.

1382
01:16:04.360 --> 01:16:06.280
I was just typing it, but I'll just ask.

1383
01:16:06.280 --> 01:16:10.000
Can you share about people who've come into a relationship

1384
01:16:10.000 --> 01:16:13.600
with like different faith expressions or traditions?

1385
01:16:13.600 --> 01:16:17.320
Like, I'm thinking like Catholic and Protestant,

1386
01:16:17.320 --> 01:16:21.000
and if there's two different or how that could work.

1387
01:16:22.600 --> 01:16:24.080
You know, we have seen that.

1388
01:16:24.080 --> 01:16:25.640
We have seen it.

1389
01:16:25.640 --> 01:16:30.360
And that is another area on our Symbus, spirituality.

1390
01:16:30.360 --> 01:16:33.200
And what do you think it's important to have in common?

1391
01:16:33.200 --> 01:16:35.120
And what don't you have in common?

1392
01:16:35.120 --> 01:16:37.320
And, you know, people have different upbringings

1393
01:16:37.320 --> 01:16:39.440
that were raised in churches and denominations.

1394
01:16:39.440 --> 01:16:41.880
And then some people are newer believers.

1395
01:16:41.880 --> 01:16:44.520
And while other people have been in a certain denomination

1396
01:16:44.520 --> 01:16:45.840
for a long amount of time,

1397
01:16:45.840 --> 01:16:47.960
I think that it's important to know

1398
01:16:47.960 --> 01:16:49.480
that you agree on Christ.

1399
01:16:51.640 --> 01:16:52.480
Just so you know that.

1400
01:16:52.480 --> 01:16:54.040
B, don't be unequally yoked.

1401
01:16:54.040 --> 01:16:55.560
That's talking about Christ.

1402
01:16:56.680 --> 01:16:59.280
It's talking about the teachings of Christ.

1403
01:16:59.280 --> 01:17:01.800
And so if you can go to the teachings of Christ

1404
01:17:01.800 --> 01:17:03.520
in the New Testament,

1405
01:17:03.520 --> 01:17:05.840
you can go there in the New Testament,

1406
01:17:05.840 --> 01:17:07.480
and you can agree on those things,

1407
01:17:07.480 --> 01:17:11.400
then I don't consider you unequally yoked, right?

1408
01:17:11.400 --> 01:17:13.640
If you can agree that those are the most important things

1409
01:17:13.640 --> 01:17:15.800
in which to build your life and your marriage on,

1410
01:17:15.800 --> 01:17:18.480
then I wouldn't consider you unequally yoked.

1411
01:17:18.480 --> 01:17:19.680
Now, that being said,

1412
01:17:19.680 --> 01:17:22.080
if you are trying to date someone

1413
01:17:22.080 --> 01:17:26.440
who has very, very different political views than you do,

1414
01:17:26.440 --> 01:17:30.480
and they have made that their religion or their doctrine,

1415
01:17:30.480 --> 01:17:32.120
this is right, and this is wrong,

1416
01:17:32.120 --> 01:17:35.720
and socially and economically and different things like that,

1417
01:17:35.720 --> 01:17:38.320
or they have taken things in the Bible

1418
01:17:38.320 --> 01:17:39.720
that are not in the New Testament,

1419
01:17:39.720 --> 01:17:42.960
and they're not in the teachings of Christ and the apostles,

1420
01:17:42.960 --> 01:17:46.000
but they've taken just random things from the Old Testament

1421
01:17:46.000 --> 01:17:46.960
or other places,

1422
01:17:46.960 --> 01:17:49.160
maybe Paul's letters and different things,

1423
01:17:49.160 --> 01:17:52.000
and they've made a theology out of that,

1424
01:17:52.760 --> 01:17:54.640
and they're dogmatic about that,

1425
01:17:54.640 --> 01:17:56.600
and if you don't line up to those things,

1426
01:17:56.600 --> 01:17:59.040
like, for instance, here's something that just come to mind,

1427
01:17:59.040 --> 01:18:00.200
women shouldn't talk,

1428
01:18:00.200 --> 01:18:01.520
and they shouldn't talk in the church,

1429
01:18:01.520 --> 01:18:03.200
and they shouldn't teach.

1430
01:18:03.200 --> 01:18:04.040
You know?

1431
01:18:04.040 --> 01:18:04.920
Well, I obviously don't believe that.

1432
01:18:04.920 --> 01:18:06.240
Right.

1433
01:18:06.240 --> 01:18:09.160
And, you know, my former husband

1434
01:18:09.160 --> 01:18:10.760
believed that women shouldn't cut their hair,

1435
01:18:10.760 --> 01:18:12.880
and that they should never wear pants

1436
01:18:12.880 --> 01:18:15.960
because of some random scripture

1437
01:18:15.960 --> 01:18:19.120
that was being mistaught in his denomination,

1438
01:18:19.120 --> 01:18:21.200
and so, that being said,

1439
01:18:21.200 --> 01:18:25.480
if they're a dogmatic person towards theology

1440
01:18:25.480 --> 01:18:28.320
that you don't believe,

1441
01:18:28.320 --> 01:18:31.080
and you're not able to get into agreement with,

1442
01:18:31.080 --> 01:18:33.280
then that's not gonna work out.

1443
01:18:33.280 --> 01:18:35.200
Yeah, the biggest thing is about agreement.

1444
01:18:35.200 --> 01:18:37.680
And having a teachable and open heart.

1445
01:18:37.680 --> 01:18:40.240
The biggest thing is about agreement.

1446
01:18:40.240 --> 01:18:44.800
If you need to just agree on core truths,

1447
01:18:44.800 --> 01:18:45.960
and that's where you agree,

1448
01:18:45.960 --> 01:18:47.440
and that's where you align,

1449
01:18:47.440 --> 01:18:49.760
that can be a beautiful relationship that works.

1450
01:18:49.760 --> 01:18:51.400
I mean, the scripture says, you know,

1451
01:18:51.400 --> 01:18:55.440
can two walk together except they are agreed.

1452
01:18:55.440 --> 01:19:00.440
And it all comes down to what areas

1453
01:19:00.440 --> 01:19:02.840
are important for us to agree upon.

1454
01:19:02.840 --> 01:19:05.120
Some wanna go really elaborate,

1455
01:19:05.120 --> 01:19:07.880
and others go really very simple.

1456
01:19:07.880 --> 01:19:11.040
So the key is, is agreement.

1457
01:19:11.040 --> 01:19:12.840
Yeah, the key would be agreement.

1458
01:19:12.840 --> 01:19:13.680
I've known people-

1459
01:19:13.680 --> 01:19:16.320
And the key is also giving the other person room

1460
01:19:16.320 --> 01:19:17.960
for their personal relationship with God.

1461
01:19:17.960 --> 01:19:20.320
David and I don't worship the same.

1462
01:19:20.320 --> 01:19:22.160
We don't connect with God the same way.

1463
01:19:22.160 --> 01:19:25.200
And if I would sit in judgment of his relationship with God

1464
01:19:25.200 --> 01:19:27.280
because it doesn't look like mine,

1465
01:19:27.280 --> 01:19:29.080
then that wouldn't be right.

1466
01:19:29.080 --> 01:19:31.600
And vice versa, that wouldn't be right.

1467
01:19:31.600 --> 01:19:32.440
And so it's important

1468
01:19:32.440 --> 01:19:34.000
that you look for fruit in people's lives,

1469
01:19:34.000 --> 01:19:35.720
fruit of relationship with God.

1470
01:19:35.720 --> 01:19:37.520
However the fruit got there,

1471
01:19:37.520 --> 01:19:40.680
however they're, you know, plowing the fields with God,

1472
01:19:40.680 --> 01:19:42.760
and whatever that looks like for that fruit

1473
01:19:42.760 --> 01:19:43.600
to grow in their life,

1474
01:19:43.600 --> 01:19:46.240
maybe being out in nature, hunting,

1475
01:19:46.240 --> 01:19:47.960
some men, they feel really close to God.

1476
01:19:47.960 --> 01:19:49.000
They're really talking to God

1477
01:19:49.000 --> 01:19:51.040
and having relationship with God while they're out,

1478
01:19:51.040 --> 01:19:52.600
you know, killing God's creatures.

1479
01:19:52.600 --> 01:19:53.760
I don't know.

1480
01:19:53.760 --> 01:19:56.120
But David really loves music.

1481
01:19:56.120 --> 01:19:58.240
He never feels closer to God

1482
01:19:58.240 --> 01:20:00.240
and getting downloads and having God.

1483
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:05.760
speak to him and even bring correction to some things in his heart and life than when he is

1484
01:20:05.760 --> 01:20:12.320
worshipping, like playing music, listening to music and playing music. You know, there's stories

1485
01:20:12.320 --> 01:20:19.120
of people who were flat out just wrong, but they agreed with each other in their wrongness

1486
01:20:20.480 --> 01:20:24.640
and they have beautiful relationships. So if you're talking about like people just getting

1487
01:20:24.640 --> 01:20:31.360
along and being in a good marriage and a solid marriage, there's lots of people that have good,

1488
01:20:31.360 --> 01:20:37.600
working, solid marriages and they're just flat out wrong. So if they can do it, you know,

1489
01:20:37.600 --> 01:20:43.520
two people that agree on actual truth can agree and work in relationship.

1490
01:20:43.520 --> 01:20:47.920
Would you recommend that they attend different churches in their denominations if they're

1491
01:20:47.920 --> 01:20:51.680
different or too different? Here's the thing, and we say this during Symbus, I'm going to say it

1492
01:20:51.680 --> 01:20:56.640
now. I don't think that your relationship with God and the discipleship of your relationship

1493
01:20:56.640 --> 01:21:03.040
with God is just one building, just one group of people, just one building. I think that it's

1494
01:21:03.040 --> 01:21:07.360
important to have community. And so if you have a church that you go to that, you know, yeah,

1495
01:21:07.360 --> 01:21:11.440
the teaching isn't really, hasn't really been hitting the spot for a long time. And the fact

1496
01:21:11.440 --> 01:21:14.960
that you're not learning anything new, you don't feel like you're being stretched or challenged,

1497
01:21:14.960 --> 01:21:20.880
but the community, you know, aspect of it is, is really important to you. Okay, great. But you need

1498
01:21:20.880 --> 01:21:24.000
to be somewhere where you're getting stretched and challenged. I don't believe that anyone should

1499
01:21:24.000 --> 01:21:31.520
be going to any church exclusively, which means you're not like going other places, spiritual

1500
01:21:31.520 --> 01:21:35.280
communities, conferences. You gotta be going someplace where you're getting stretched,

1501
01:21:35.280 --> 01:21:40.640
where you're getting challenged. If you believe the same thing, the exact same thing, every I,

1502
01:21:40.640 --> 01:21:46.160
every T that you believed even a year ago, I would challenge that you're not growing in the Lord.

1503
01:21:46.480 --> 01:21:49.920
And I know for sure that if you're in this community, you come to supernatural Saturday,

1504
01:21:49.920 --> 01:21:53.280
that you are not believing the exact same thing that you believed a year ago,

1505
01:21:53.280 --> 01:21:57.920
because I'm going to challenge you every Saturday. And why is that? Because Holy

1506
01:21:57.920 --> 01:22:02.560
spirit is challenging us to grow. This is a growth model. You guys, the kingdom is a growth model.

1507
01:22:03.120 --> 01:22:08.240
This is why, this is why people sit in churches for 30 plus years and oh my gosh, they're so

1508
01:22:08.240 --> 01:22:12.880
faithful and they're so wonderful. And they're so dedicated to that church and they haven't grown

1509
01:22:13.840 --> 01:22:21.280
one inch in 30 years. And they're the most, some of them, the most hateful, spiteful individuals,

1510
01:22:21.280 --> 01:22:27.040
because Christian people that you can imagine, because the kingdom is a, is a model that's

1511
01:22:27.040 --> 01:22:32.480
always moving forward. And so I would submit to you that if you're not moving forward,

1512
01:22:32.480 --> 01:22:38.480
you might actually be sliding backwards. Okay. I tell you, if I had a church, if I started a

1513
01:22:38.560 --> 01:22:43.360
church, I'd have a five-year rule. You can come to church for five years, but then after five years,

1514
01:22:43.360 --> 01:22:48.960
you have to go, you have to be out. You have to go do something, go fulfill your life's purpose,

1515
01:22:48.960 --> 01:22:53.520
go on a mission, do whatever. Like it's good. You can hang out here for five years. You're

1516
01:22:53.520 --> 01:22:58.240
not going to pastor a church. I'm not. You are. I'm just saying, if you are, I'll do it with you.

1517
01:22:58.240 --> 01:23:02.720
I probably wouldn't though. You wouldn't? We're going to leave Bethany and Brian. Would you be

1518
01:23:02.720 --> 01:23:12.320
my pastor's wife? Sing solos and specials? No, I will not. I will not be your pastor's wife.

1519
01:23:12.320 --> 01:23:19.520
Run the women's ministry? No. Y'all, he's just over here just trying to get my goat.

1520
01:23:20.880 --> 01:23:29.760
All right. Okay. So I believe that both of us are cycling through thoughts of what that would

1521
01:23:29.840 --> 01:23:36.000
look like and just the hilariousness of like how that would not work or go. But listen, you guys,

1522
01:23:36.000 --> 01:23:40.640
if you find someone who really believes that a woman's place is, you know, in a certain place,

1523
01:23:40.640 --> 01:23:44.240
and you don't believe that that's where your place is, then that's just going to have to be a

1524
01:23:44.800 --> 01:23:54.400
no for you. All right. Who's next? Go ahead. Janine. Hey Todd, can you make that go colder?

1525
01:23:54.960 --> 01:24:00.160
No, I don't think you can. It's 66. Yeah. Hi, Janine, are you ready?

1526
01:24:00.160 --> 01:24:06.080
Jill said first lady's Jackie. Oh Lord. Oh Lord.

1527
01:24:09.680 --> 01:24:15.040
There is a... Janine's not asking her question. So Maddie. Maddie.

1528
01:24:15.920 --> 01:24:25.440
Hi. Kind of related to what you were just saying. What if like say I am into growth mindset

1529
01:24:26.000 --> 01:24:31.280
and the other person's like, nope, here are the rules. We're going to stick with the rules. These

1530
01:24:31.280 --> 01:24:37.760
are my rules. I'm stuck in this problem. We're just going to stay stuck here in this place.

1531
01:24:38.320 --> 01:24:44.640
There is no compromise because I'm the man and I'm recovering. So I say this is how it goes.

1532
01:24:45.360 --> 01:24:49.040
Well, I don't think you should marry someone like that because it doesn't sound like that's

1533
01:24:49.040 --> 01:24:55.040
what you want. I mean, if you're a woman that wants that, I guess you can make that work,

1534
01:24:55.680 --> 01:24:59.600
but yeah, I don't know too many women that would.

1535
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:05.600
Yeah. Okay. If, yeah, that's definitely, that's not going to be the right match for,

1536
01:25:06.560 --> 01:25:12.160
for 95% of women nowadays. But if that's something that you believe too, you believe

1537
01:25:12.160 --> 01:25:16.560
that the man is, you believe that the head of the house means that, which it doesn't just so

1538
01:25:16.560 --> 01:25:21.200
you know, scripturally, um, then, you know, more power to people that make it work for them.

1539
01:25:21.760 --> 01:25:26.000
You know, I'm not here to tell people that what they want in a partnership they can't have.

1540
01:25:26.080 --> 01:25:30.400
I have a male client right now who wants a traditional wife. He wants someone who

1541
01:25:30.400 --> 01:25:35.040
does not want to do anything outside of the home. Just wants to be home, being a homemaker,

1542
01:25:35.040 --> 01:25:40.880
making a nice safe place for him and their future children. And that's it. That's what he wants. And,

1543
01:25:40.880 --> 01:25:45.120
and he'll find it because there are women that want that. And I'm not here to judge those women.

1544
01:25:45.760 --> 01:25:49.680
I'm not here to judge them at all. And I do believe that children should be raised. Um,

1545
01:25:49.680 --> 01:25:53.440
and there should be a parent in the home, somebody, and they should, uh, if you're going

1546
01:25:53.440 --> 01:25:57.680
to have children together, you got to figure out how your children can actually be raised by their

1547
01:25:57.680 --> 01:26:03.200
parents and not by the public school system or daycare or something. And I understand that there

1548
01:26:03.200 --> 01:26:07.120
are financial things out there. And so you guys have to figure that out ahead of time in order

1549
01:26:07.120 --> 01:26:12.960
to make that happen. And so, um, but yeah, Maddie, if that isn't what you believe, then definitely

1550
01:26:12.960 --> 01:26:18.640
don't get involved with someone who believes that. Well, I left a relationship of things are

1551
01:26:18.640 --> 01:26:23.920
bad and will always be bad. So let's cry in our soup. And I just couldn't take it anymore. And I

1552
01:26:23.920 --> 01:26:29.200
had to leave that relationship. Okay. Well, that'd be hard. Yeah.

1553
01:26:31.200 --> 01:26:35.840
All right. Well, we're going to talk a little bit about victimhood, um, on supernatural Saturday,

1554
01:26:35.840 --> 01:26:41.760
as we go into some of our fun, um, announcements. And so kind of like what she was just talking

1555
01:26:41.760 --> 01:26:46.400
about. So what's kind of at the root of that, but take a few more, cause it was getting late now,

1556
01:26:46.400 --> 01:26:51.760
you guys, cause we talked about sex for so long. Um, we'll Sarah, go ahead. We'll take you.

1557
01:26:56.800 --> 01:27:07.760
Hello. Hi. Okay. Yes. Um, so if you guys can think of like the most supernatural love story

1558
01:27:08.480 --> 01:27:12.640
that, you know, um, and I'm talking about like, cause I'm super into like,

1559
01:27:13.200 --> 01:27:20.640
um, being led by the Holy spirit or like divine meetings, like, let's say you like missed a flight

1560
01:27:20.640 --> 01:27:26.640
and because you like missed a flight, you ended up in like a restaurant and that restaurant ended up,

1561
01:27:26.640 --> 01:27:30.640
you know what I mean? Like, you know how sometimes the Holy spirit can lead you

1562
01:27:30.640 --> 01:27:35.520
into different situations and places and you end up meeting like your spirit mate.

1563
01:27:35.840 --> 01:27:43.120
Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to think. Okay. So like you gave me an example of something. So now I'm

1564
01:27:43.120 --> 01:27:46.960
trying to think if there was this one story with the, like the two people, they exchanged those

1565
01:27:46.960 --> 01:27:53.600
$5 bills and the one road on it. Stop. That's a movie. Sorry. Stop. He's being dumb. Serendipity.

1566
01:27:53.600 --> 01:28:00.400
So, oh yeah. Um, let's see. Um, uh, being in the right place at the right time. Um, I do,

1567
01:28:00.400 --> 01:28:04.720
we do have a love story where they worked at the same company, a very large company

1568
01:28:05.280 --> 01:28:10.240
and never met each other. And then they were at the same wedding. There's even pictures of them,

1569
01:28:10.240 --> 01:28:15.760
both dancing on the dance floor at the same time. Okay. So the bride is brides right here,

1570
01:28:15.760 --> 01:28:19.440
bride and groom are here and they're dancing on the dance floor. It's like, you know, everyone's

1571
01:28:19.440 --> 01:28:24.720
boogie in and they're on the dance floor too. Okay. But they didn't meet at that wedding.

1572
01:28:25.440 --> 01:28:28.800
So even though they worked at the same company and they were at the same wedding, knew the same

1573
01:28:28.800 --> 01:28:34.640
people, didn't meet, didn't meet at the wedding. Um, but then very soon after the wedding,

1574
01:28:34.640 --> 01:28:39.600
there was a company meeting that involved their departments and they were both at that company

1575
01:28:39.600 --> 01:28:44.080
meeting. And that's where they met, met for the first time and ended up getting married.

1576
01:28:44.960 --> 01:28:50.720
So it kind of shows like ships passing in the night kind of thing. And we actually have an

1577
01:28:50.720 --> 01:28:55.840
element of that to our love story too. So you guys know that he moved in next door to me and

1578
01:28:55.840 --> 01:28:59.600
I yelled at him, didn't know him, thought he was a sex offender. All the things eight months later,

1579
01:28:59.600 --> 01:29:06.640
we got married then maybe four or five months later, we were moving. Would you say, Oh yeah.

1580
01:29:06.640 --> 01:29:11.040
Four or five months later, we were moving and he's like going through all of his stuff, you know,

1581
01:29:11.040 --> 01:29:15.360
purging, throwing things out, keeping things. He's like, babe, come here. I want you to see something

1582
01:29:15.360 --> 01:29:20.720
funny. And I'm like, what? So I go in there and he pops a VCR tape in that's how old we are.

1583
01:29:20.720 --> 01:29:28.800
He pops a VCR tape in, of what ends up being this, this prank video. He was on staff at a

1584
01:29:28.800 --> 01:29:34.640
mega church, big mega church in Ohio for 14 years. And when he was the youth pastor of that church,

1585
01:29:34.640 --> 01:29:40.320
they pranked their staff, like the punk videos with Ashton on MTV, like those kinds of things

1586
01:29:40.320 --> 01:29:44.000
where they make up scenarios that are not real. And they try to make you think that that thing's

1587
01:29:44.000 --> 01:29:49.040
really happening. Well, they had pranked him like that and it was videotaped and it was very,

1588
01:29:49.040 --> 01:29:54.400
very funny. But the thing is, is that when he showed it to me that day, my mouth just

1589
01:29:54.400 --> 01:29:59.440
dropped open. And he's like, babe, what what's wrong? And I was like, I can't believe this.

1590
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:01.240
And he's like, what?

1591
01:30:01.240 --> 01:30:04.800
And I said, I was at that event two years

1592
01:30:04.800 --> 01:30:07.760
before he became my neighbor.

1593
01:30:07.760 --> 01:30:09.200
Two years earlier, 2005.

1594
01:30:09.200 --> 01:30:12.280
So that was like four years or like, yeah.

1595
01:30:12.280 --> 01:30:13.400
Yeah, 2005.

1596
01:30:13.400 --> 01:30:16.160
He became my neighbor in 2007.

1597
01:30:16.160 --> 01:30:20.560
Okay, so in 2005, I was at an event at his mega church

1598
01:30:20.560 --> 01:30:21.920
that I did not attend.

1599
01:30:21.920 --> 01:30:23.080
It was an outdoor event.

1600
01:30:23.080 --> 01:30:24.880
The community was invited to it.

1601
01:30:24.880 --> 01:30:26.280
And my friend that went to his church

1602
01:30:26.280 --> 01:30:27.960
invited me to this event.

1603
01:30:27.960 --> 01:30:31.360
And on a big jumbotron outside this mega church,

1604
01:30:31.360 --> 01:30:35.200
they were showing these pranked videos of their staff.

1605
01:30:35.200 --> 01:30:37.480
And that video that he showed me of himself

1606
01:30:37.480 --> 01:30:39.240
was one of the videos that they showed.

1607
01:30:39.240 --> 01:30:42.400
And that was the last one that I saw before I left the event.

1608
01:30:42.400 --> 01:30:44.560
And I told my friend that invited me,

1609
01:30:44.560 --> 01:30:45.680
hey, I know that guy.

1610
01:30:45.680 --> 01:30:47.320
And she's like, oh, he's our youth pastor.

1611
01:30:47.320 --> 01:30:48.560
And I said, hmm.

1612
01:30:48.560 --> 01:30:49.400
I said, yeah.

1613
01:30:49.400 --> 01:30:51.080
And I said, I know him.

1614
01:30:51.080 --> 01:30:53.040
I said, I think that I might've gone to school

1615
01:30:53.040 --> 01:30:55.080
with him or something, or we worked together.

1616
01:30:55.080 --> 01:30:56.560
I said, I really know him.

1617
01:30:56.560 --> 01:30:58.360
And I just couldn't place his name.

1618
01:30:58.360 --> 01:30:59.960
I couldn't figure out who he was.

1619
01:30:59.960 --> 01:31:01.160
And she said, oh, his name's David.

1620
01:31:01.160 --> 01:31:03.680
I was like, oh, that doesn't ring a bell.

1621
01:31:03.680 --> 01:31:05.680
But I really know him from somewhere.

1622
01:31:05.680 --> 01:31:07.680
And I just really don't know where.

1623
01:31:07.680 --> 01:31:10.000
And that was the video that he showed me

1624
01:31:10.000 --> 01:31:12.400
after we were married for four months.

1625
01:31:12.400 --> 01:31:15.120
So I knew him before I knew him.

1626
01:31:15.120 --> 01:31:17.160
And when we did the math,

1627
01:31:17.160 --> 01:31:18.960
when we looked back at our lives

1628
01:31:18.960 --> 01:31:20.800
in all the years before we met each other,

1629
01:31:20.800 --> 01:31:24.200
you guys, we were at the same restaurants at the same time

1630
01:31:24.200 --> 01:31:26.320
because our churches were some of the only churches

1631
01:31:27.080 --> 01:31:28.520
that had Sunday night services in Columbus.

1632
01:31:28.520 --> 01:31:30.240
And we all went to the same restaurants

1633
01:31:30.240 --> 01:31:31.920
that were open till midnight on Sunday nights.

1634
01:31:31.920 --> 01:31:35.400
Applebee's, you know, Shoney's.

1635
01:31:35.400 --> 01:31:37.880
We knew a lot of the same people.

1636
01:31:37.880 --> 01:31:39.360
But we didn't know each other's.

1637
01:31:39.360 --> 01:31:40.200
Very strange.

1638
01:31:40.200 --> 01:31:42.200
So shifts passed in a night.

1639
01:31:42.200 --> 01:31:43.440
And it's a good thing that we didn't meet

1640
01:31:43.440 --> 01:31:46.120
when I saw him on that punk video and my spirit knew him,

1641
01:31:46.120 --> 01:31:47.960
but I didn't know why I knew him

1642
01:31:47.960 --> 01:31:50.320
because he was still married at the time.

1643
01:31:50.320 --> 01:31:52.960
In fact, your wife was just about to leave you.

1644
01:31:52.960 --> 01:31:55.480
His wife left him right, really right after that.

1645
01:31:55.480 --> 01:32:00.040
So, and then two years later, he became my neighbor.

1646
01:32:00.040 --> 01:32:03.680
And a year later, I saw that video.

1647
01:32:04.840 --> 01:32:05.680
Sounds like a movie.

1648
01:32:05.680 --> 01:32:07.360
Yeah, it does, but it really happened.

1649
01:32:07.360 --> 01:32:08.320
All right, friends,

1650
01:32:08.320 --> 01:32:09.880
we're gonna go ahead and let y'all go.

1651
01:32:09.880 --> 01:32:12.320
Thank you so much for joining us for Love Story.

1652
01:32:14.600 --> 01:32:17.120
I know it turned into, it went a different direction,

1653
01:32:17.120 --> 01:32:19.800
but I think that it was important for all of us to hear.

1654
01:32:19.800 --> 01:32:21.400
And so go out there and make good choices.

1655
01:32:21.400 --> 01:32:23.240
Understand that God has better things for you

1656
01:32:23.240 --> 01:32:25.080
than you would ever have for yourself.

1657
01:32:25.680 --> 01:32:27.520
And we'll see you on Supernatural Saturday.

1658
01:32:27.520 --> 01:32:28.360
Bye everyone.

1659
01:32:28.360 --> 01:32:29.200
Bless you all.

1660
01:32:29.200 --> 01:32:30.040
Bless you.