WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.000 Wow awesome 2 00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:08.200 Well, welcome ladies. This is the face to one o'clock Eastern live at check-in 3 00:00:08.720 --> 00:00:12.600 For those ladies who don't know me. I'm Carla Johnson 4 00:00:12.600 --> 00:00:18.960 I'm one of your coaches here in phase two. I am a success story from Jackie's group 5 00:00:19.880 --> 00:00:22.980 And it's actually a very special day 6 00:00:23.240 --> 00:00:27.980 I'm super honored to be here to be able to do this call with y'all today 7 00:00:28.460 --> 00:00:33.940 Because I am not in my home state of Texas today, but I'm in Napa country 8 00:00:35.100 --> 00:00:40.300 Celebrating my one-year wedding anniversary with my husband. So I 9 00:00:41.060 --> 00:00:46.700 Just feel so honored to be here today. One of the biggest things from this program 10 00:00:47.700 --> 00:00:49.060 is 11 00:00:49.060 --> 00:00:50.580 being able to 12 00:00:50.580 --> 00:00:52.940 turn around and be able to just 13 00:00:53.140 --> 00:00:59.620 Show gratitude and thankfulness for the things that God has done through this program and it's blessed me 14 00:00:59.780 --> 00:01:03.780 So I hope to be a blessing to all of you. So I couldn't 15 00:01:04.620 --> 00:01:12.220 It couldn't be more just like surreal for me to be able to share this day with you ladies and be able to hopefully 16 00:01:12.660 --> 00:01:17.900 Give some encouragement and hope for all of you and help you walk through this process 17 00:01:17.940 --> 00:01:24.260 So I always just it honestly it feels more of a blessing for me to be able to 18 00:01:24.660 --> 00:01:29.820 Help you ladies as it you know, probably isn't what I'm able to give to you ladies 19 00:01:29.820 --> 00:01:32.780 It actually is, you know quite a blessing to me. So 20 00:01:33.580 --> 00:01:36.100 With that being said if you have not watched 21 00:01:37.420 --> 00:01:41.540 Supernatural Saturday, I would encourage you to watch it in the replay 22 00:01:41.540 --> 00:01:44.540 So Jackie has some exciting news if you haven't heard already 23 00:01:45.100 --> 00:01:47.100 We do have this affiliate program 24 00:01:48.100 --> 00:01:54.380 where you're gonna be able to give back what you have gotten from this program and be able to share it with other people and 25 00:01:54.380 --> 00:01:55.460 then there is a 26 00:01:55.460 --> 00:02:00.260 Monetary incentive to do so. So listen to that Supernatural Saturday 27 00:02:00.260 --> 00:02:07.500 And then we also have a is a special recorded session from I believe it was September 28 00:02:07.540 --> 00:02:10.500 What is today's third? So I think it was on September 1st 29 00:02:10.740 --> 00:02:16.880 So there's more info about that affiliate program and it is in your replay so definitely check that out as well 30 00:02:18.780 --> 00:02:23.300 All right, let's see Mariah you sometimes have trouble with the breakout so 31 00:02:24.180 --> 00:02:28.660 Can sign in again? Awesome. So yes, Mariah. Are you back in? I'm not okay 32 00:02:28.660 --> 00:02:31.100 You are and I see your beautiful face. Hi, how are you? 33 00:02:31.900 --> 00:02:36.540 And so Michelle you're driving. No worries, but you're here. I love it. Awesome 34 00:02:37.300 --> 00:02:41.380 Fantastic, so yeah, we have a lot to cover today. So I'm gonna go ahead and get us started 35 00:02:41.980 --> 00:02:45.980 First of all, is there anybody that is new to phase two? 36 00:02:47.020 --> 00:02:52.760 This week or this is maybe your first live session in phase two 37 00:02:54.020 --> 00:02:55.620 anybody 38 00:02:55.620 --> 00:03:01.340 No, we're good. I do see a few new faces. So maybe you're new with me at this one o'clock 39 00:03:02.100 --> 00:03:07.660 So, that's awesome. Awesome. I'm glad to see you ladies. Yeah, I'm I'm the one that usually does the one o'clock 40 00:03:08.300 --> 00:03:11.980 Renee and Ebony will be the ones that will do the eight o'clock 41 00:03:13.140 --> 00:03:15.340 Because I'm usually running around with my kids 42 00:03:15.860 --> 00:03:21.180 And got so many things going on on Tuesdays now that my kids are back to school with after-school activities 43 00:03:21.180 --> 00:03:25.700 So I enjoy getting to do the one o'clock with y'all 44 00:03:26.540 --> 00:03:30.740 Okay, so if you are new or this is your first time to one o'clock welcome 45 00:03:31.340 --> 00:03:38.100 just a reminder we do a little bit of a housekeeping with y'all because we never know who's watching and replay and we want to 46 00:03:38.100 --> 00:03:43.820 Make sure that we are keeping y'all up to date with what's going on here in phase two. Just remember 47 00:03:44.220 --> 00:03:46.900 We do have those five videos in 48 00:03:47.460 --> 00:03:51.580 The content and we really do encourage that you watch those 49 00:03:52.060 --> 00:03:57.940 One a week it just really allows you that good week of being able to sit unpacked 50 00:03:58.180 --> 00:04:05.940 Process ask Holy Spirit what he wants to highlight to you putting the content into practice in your everyday life 51 00:04:07.220 --> 00:04:13.060 So that is really really important to do. I always tell you ladies. This is not a sprint 52 00:04:13.420 --> 00:04:18.980 It really is like you are just you're not gonna rush into anything with your spirit mate 53 00:04:18.980 --> 00:04:23.220 So it's really good practice just to pace yourself 54 00:04:23.660 --> 00:04:29.000 And we start by doing that here in phase two with just that one video a week 55 00:04:29.140 --> 00:04:34.100 Okay, so those videos include your lustrate accelerator kickoff 56 00:04:34.100 --> 00:04:38.660 That's where Jackie talks about the seven-day challenge and the water 57 00:04:39.220 --> 00:04:45.500 Physical movement sort of challenge and just gives you an overview of what to look forward to in phase two 58 00:04:46.260 --> 00:04:51.340 Ladies, I want to encourage you do not get overwhelmed with that seven-day challenge 59 00:04:51.380 --> 00:04:57.300 Alright, it really is just a way for you to kind of start stepping out because we've asked you to take a sabbatical 60 00:04:57.820 --> 00:04:59.820 of dating in phase one as you 61 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:01.440 work through the hard work. 62 00:05:01.440 --> 00:05:04.480 And then as you walk into phase two, 63 00:05:04.480 --> 00:05:06.280 you're able to utilize those tools 64 00:05:06.280 --> 00:05:09.120 that you've gained in hard work into your dating life. 65 00:05:09.120 --> 00:05:13.000 We don't want you to freak out about that, okay? 66 00:05:13.000 --> 00:05:17.360 Most of you are probably not gonna get your seven dates in, 67 00:05:17.360 --> 00:05:19.280 in phase two, all right? 68 00:05:19.280 --> 00:05:21.720 You're gonna be able to move into phase three 69 00:05:21.720 --> 00:05:24.200 and still be working on those seven dates. 70 00:05:24.200 --> 00:05:26.000 I know when I joined the community 71 00:05:26.000 --> 00:05:28.040 and Jackie threw out that seven date challenge, 72 00:05:28.040 --> 00:05:30.080 it took me a really long time 73 00:05:30.080 --> 00:05:32.520 to get back onto the dating scene. 74 00:05:34.280 --> 00:05:37.080 But we're all on our own pacing and things like that. 75 00:05:37.080 --> 00:05:39.320 So just keep that in mind, all right? 76 00:05:39.320 --> 00:05:40.760 It's really just a way to encourage you 77 00:05:40.760 --> 00:05:42.320 to get out there and dating. 78 00:05:42.320 --> 00:05:44.680 So then the next video is the Dating 101, 79 00:05:44.680 --> 00:05:47.520 which we're gonna break down a little bit today. 80 00:05:47.520 --> 00:05:50.320 I'm gonna kind of touch on some highlighted points. 81 00:05:50.320 --> 00:05:53.080 That's where we talk about the levels of dating. 82 00:05:53.080 --> 00:05:56.160 So I'm gonna go over a little bit of that today. 83 00:05:56.200 --> 00:05:58.240 Then the next video that you'll watch 84 00:05:58.240 --> 00:05:59.560 is that Divine Feminine, 85 00:05:59.560 --> 00:06:02.600 which is actually one of my favorite videos. 86 00:06:02.600 --> 00:06:05.720 And then Renee will take you through that online dating 87 00:06:05.720 --> 00:06:07.400 in that next video, 88 00:06:07.400 --> 00:06:10.280 give you lots of tips and tricks and things like that, 89 00:06:10.280 --> 00:06:13.080 if and when you are ready to step out into online dating, 90 00:06:13.080 --> 00:06:16.840 because I know it can be a doozy sometimes, all right? 91 00:06:16.840 --> 00:06:18.040 I've been there, done that too. 92 00:06:18.040 --> 00:06:20.480 I got the t-shirt for the online dating 93 00:06:21.320 --> 00:06:23.520 before HeartWork and even after HeartWork, 94 00:06:23.520 --> 00:06:25.800 which is definitely a little bit different 95 00:06:26.000 --> 00:06:28.240 once you've got some HeartWork under your belt. 96 00:06:28.240 --> 00:06:30.000 And then the last one is Boundaries, 97 00:06:30.000 --> 00:06:33.080 which Renee does a phenomenal job 98 00:06:33.080 --> 00:06:35.000 with breaking down boundaries. 99 00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:37.760 And that is such a good thing to have, 100 00:06:37.760 --> 00:06:39.760 especially when you're stepping out to dating 101 00:06:39.760 --> 00:06:42.120 is creating good, healthy boundaries 102 00:06:42.120 --> 00:06:44.160 and knowing that, 103 00:06:44.160 --> 00:06:46.560 and then healthy conflict too with boundaries. 104 00:06:46.560 --> 00:06:49.080 So those are what you're gonna get 105 00:06:49.080 --> 00:06:52.120 in those video content from each of those. 106 00:06:52.120 --> 00:06:57.120 So definitely take your time watching those each week, 107 00:06:57.160 --> 00:07:00.000 asking the Lord to show up and highlight to you 108 00:07:00.000 --> 00:07:02.320 what it is that he wants to speak to you. 109 00:07:03.720 --> 00:07:06.000 So hopefully we got that covered. 110 00:07:06.000 --> 00:07:09.440 Ladies, don't forget to post here in phase two. 111 00:07:09.440 --> 00:07:11.440 So we've got that app up and working. 112 00:07:11.440 --> 00:07:15.360 So your posts can be about absolutely anything. 113 00:07:15.360 --> 00:07:18.120 So we've got, anything HeartWork related, 114 00:07:18.120 --> 00:07:19.480 you can post that. 115 00:07:19.480 --> 00:07:21.960 We wanna hear what breakthroughs you're experiencing. 116 00:07:22.800 --> 00:07:23.880 So that will go in that wins category. 117 00:07:23.880 --> 00:07:27.080 If you just really wanna celebrate what God is doing, 118 00:07:27.080 --> 00:07:29.640 maybe breakthroughs that you're getting. 119 00:07:29.640 --> 00:07:33.120 If you have dating interactions, share that as well. 120 00:07:33.120 --> 00:07:35.120 That can be in that all category. 121 00:07:35.120 --> 00:07:37.120 Or if you have questions 122 00:07:37.120 --> 00:07:40.280 that you specifically want a coach to answer, 123 00:07:40.280 --> 00:07:43.800 make sure that you're clicking that Ask a Coach tab 124 00:07:43.800 --> 00:07:46.080 when you're making your post in the app. 125 00:07:46.080 --> 00:07:48.520 And just ladies, please remember 126 00:07:48.520 --> 00:07:51.920 that under those Ask a Coach tab questions, 127 00:07:52.760 --> 00:07:55.080 that you are not responding to any of those women. 128 00:07:55.080 --> 00:07:57.880 Allow us coaches to be the ones going in there 129 00:07:57.880 --> 00:07:59.320 and responding to them. 130 00:07:59.320 --> 00:08:03.360 We want you ladies interacting in all of the other areas. 131 00:08:03.360 --> 00:08:05.640 So I will definitely encourage you ladies 132 00:08:05.640 --> 00:08:08.160 to make sure that you're posting yourself 133 00:08:08.160 --> 00:08:10.280 and then share your other sisters on. 134 00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:14.880 Give encouragement, positive feedback, 135 00:08:14.880 --> 00:08:17.120 but again, just do not put those things 136 00:08:17.120 --> 00:08:18.120 in the Ask a Coach tab, 137 00:08:18.240 --> 00:08:20.400 because that's where we want to be able 138 00:08:20.400 --> 00:08:23.280 to give direct feedback to those ladies. 139 00:08:23.280 --> 00:08:26.320 And remember ladies, this is your phase 140 00:08:26.320 --> 00:08:30.440 to really get extra coaching 141 00:08:30.440 --> 00:08:32.880 because this is a much smaller group. 142 00:08:32.880 --> 00:08:35.120 Phase two, we're intentional 143 00:08:35.120 --> 00:08:37.559 about making this group smaller 144 00:08:37.559 --> 00:08:41.159 for the sake of you ladies getting out of heartwork 145 00:08:41.159 --> 00:08:42.720 and into that dating scene. 146 00:08:42.720 --> 00:08:45.560 So again, phase two should really be 147 00:08:45.840 --> 00:08:48.960 So again, phase two should really only take you 148 00:08:48.960 --> 00:08:51.200 about four to five weeks, okay? 149 00:08:51.200 --> 00:08:55.760 We do not want you going any faster than that. 150 00:08:55.760 --> 00:08:58.320 But we also understand that some of you may need 151 00:08:58.320 --> 00:09:02.160 a few extra weeks to kind of unpack 152 00:09:02.160 --> 00:09:04.080 and process some of that content. 153 00:09:04.080 --> 00:09:07.360 But we are eventually going to kick you out of phase two 154 00:09:07.360 --> 00:09:08.760 after a couple months, 155 00:09:08.760 --> 00:09:10.800 because we do want to encourage you ladies 156 00:09:10.800 --> 00:09:12.000 to move on to phase three, 157 00:09:12.000 --> 00:09:14.000 where it's a bigger community 158 00:09:14.000 --> 00:09:16.080 and you're still going to get awesome content 159 00:09:16.080 --> 00:09:19.080 and you get more of an experience 160 00:09:19.080 --> 00:09:20.360 with the rest of the community. 161 00:09:20.360 --> 00:09:22.400 So we want to keep it small here. 162 00:09:22.400 --> 00:09:24.040 So that's why we're eventually going to kick you out 163 00:09:24.040 --> 00:09:25.600 because as we get more women coming in, 164 00:09:25.600 --> 00:09:28.360 it will just, if you don't move on to phase three, 165 00:09:28.360 --> 00:09:29.600 it's just going to grow any bigger 166 00:09:29.600 --> 00:09:31.280 and then you're not really going to get much 167 00:09:31.280 --> 00:09:32.280 out of phase two. 168 00:09:32.280 --> 00:09:35.640 So in that four to five weeks, 169 00:09:35.640 --> 00:09:38.160 if you need to spend about six to eight weeks, 170 00:09:38.160 --> 00:09:39.240 we totally get it. 171 00:09:39.240 --> 00:09:40.920 We know life happens. 172 00:09:40.920 --> 00:09:43.400 So keep that in mind. 173 00:09:43.760 --> 00:09:44.800 Ladies, when you're posting, 174 00:09:44.800 --> 00:09:48.160 try to keep things short, brief and powerful. 175 00:09:48.160 --> 00:09:51.600 We want you telling us what's going on in your life, 176 00:09:51.600 --> 00:09:52.960 especially if you're dating 177 00:09:52.960 --> 00:09:54.960 and having dating interactions. 178 00:09:54.960 --> 00:09:57.320 It really does help us kind of see 179 00:09:57.320 --> 00:09:59.760 what it is that you need help processing. 180 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:03.860 and we can give more detailed feedback to you ladies. 181 00:10:03.860 --> 00:10:07.740 Do your best to come and, oh, here's another thing. 182 00:10:07.740 --> 00:10:09.980 I know that there's possibly, I believe, 183 00:10:09.980 --> 00:10:12.860 a way to do videos. 184 00:10:12.860 --> 00:10:15.340 If you do do a video in the app, 185 00:10:15.340 --> 00:10:18.180 let's try to keep it at three minutes. 186 00:10:18.180 --> 00:10:21.140 The best way to do this is jot your ideas 187 00:10:21.140 --> 00:10:22.980 and thoughts ahead of time 188 00:10:22.980 --> 00:10:26.700 so that you can keep those videos a little bit more short 189 00:10:26.700 --> 00:10:28.580 and so you can kind of just touch on the details 190 00:10:28.620 --> 00:10:30.660 that you want to share with your sisters 191 00:10:30.660 --> 00:10:32.620 here in the community and the coaches. 192 00:10:34.060 --> 00:10:36.460 Again, these live sessions are great. 193 00:10:36.460 --> 00:10:39.260 We're here to help you kind of break down 194 00:10:39.260 --> 00:10:41.020 more of those situations 195 00:10:41.020 --> 00:10:44.560 that you need a little bit more help with coaches, 196 00:10:44.560 --> 00:10:46.620 and it helps us to have dialogue with you. 197 00:10:46.620 --> 00:10:50.500 So you'll notice sometimes myself, Renee, or Ebony 198 00:10:50.500 --> 00:10:54.740 will maybe respond to you in the app on your post 199 00:10:54.740 --> 00:10:57.140 and ask you to come or try to make an effort 200 00:10:57.140 --> 00:10:58.660 to come to one of these live calls 201 00:10:58.660 --> 00:11:00.940 so that we can kind of dialogue with you 202 00:11:00.940 --> 00:11:03.380 and help you unpack the situation you're in. 203 00:11:03.380 --> 00:11:07.580 So we'll do our best to respond to those things in the app, 204 00:11:07.580 --> 00:11:08.980 but it sometimes really does help 205 00:11:08.980 --> 00:11:11.260 to have more of a face-to-face interaction 206 00:11:11.260 --> 00:11:13.800 with you ladies here in this check-in session. 207 00:11:15.300 --> 00:11:18.140 Let's make sure that when you are creating posts 208 00:11:18.140 --> 00:11:21.340 that you are not linking any websites, 209 00:11:22.860 --> 00:11:25.900 websites, speakers, authors, influencers, pastors, 210 00:11:25.900 --> 00:11:27.380 things like that of that nature 211 00:11:27.380 --> 00:11:30.180 that you're not posting those links 212 00:11:30.180 --> 00:11:32.200 because we don't have the capacity 213 00:11:32.200 --> 00:11:36.340 to be able to vet out and approve that content. 214 00:11:36.340 --> 00:11:38.180 We wanna make sure that it aligns 215 00:11:38.180 --> 00:11:41.780 with what we're teaching you here in last year's single. 216 00:11:41.780 --> 00:11:45.500 So if you do happen to put an actual link in 217 00:11:45.500 --> 00:11:47.500 to whether it's the roll call 218 00:11:47.500 --> 00:11:52.500 or one of the posts in the app, we will probably remove it. 219 00:11:53.300 --> 00:11:55.220 And then so if you post 220 00:11:55.220 --> 00:11:58.700 and you see that your comment got deleted, 221 00:11:58.700 --> 00:12:00.860 it's because there may have been a link in there. 222 00:12:00.860 --> 00:12:02.820 So we have to remove that. 223 00:12:02.820 --> 00:12:05.880 So just keep in mind, you can share about certain things, 224 00:12:05.880 --> 00:12:09.340 but let's just, again, not link any sort of websites 225 00:12:10.420 --> 00:12:13.220 or things of that nature. 226 00:12:13.220 --> 00:12:14.060 Cool? 227 00:12:14.940 --> 00:12:16.220 I got everybody here with me. 228 00:12:16.220 --> 00:12:17.580 Awesome, cool. 229 00:12:17.580 --> 00:12:18.900 Just a few more things. 230 00:12:18.900 --> 00:12:21.420 Again, just engage with one another here, 231 00:12:21.420 --> 00:12:23.540 come to these live sessions, 232 00:12:23.540 --> 00:12:25.940 lift your sisters up, 233 00:12:25.940 --> 00:12:27.420 make sure you're watching the replays 234 00:12:27.420 --> 00:12:29.060 if you can't come in live, 235 00:12:29.060 --> 00:12:31.820 attend as many prayer call sessions as you can, 236 00:12:31.820 --> 00:12:35.260 especially if you can get that Supernatural Saturday. 237 00:12:35.260 --> 00:12:37.380 Those are super important. 238 00:12:37.380 --> 00:12:39.420 Ladies, as we're getting on this app, 239 00:12:39.420 --> 00:12:42.980 I also encourage you to check out the training tab 240 00:12:42.980 --> 00:12:45.140 and click on that. 241 00:12:45.140 --> 00:12:47.040 It's called Tech Training. 242 00:12:47.040 --> 00:12:50.060 Renee gives a great like five to six minute video 243 00:12:50.060 --> 00:12:51.780 of how to navigate this app. 244 00:12:51.780 --> 00:12:55.660 We're all kind of learning all the hiccups 245 00:12:55.660 --> 00:12:58.860 and ways of getting around some of that stuff 246 00:12:58.860 --> 00:13:01.740 and making it a little bit more user friendly. 247 00:13:01.740 --> 00:13:04.980 So the best way to do that is watch that training video 248 00:13:04.980 --> 00:13:06.380 and then actually get in the app 249 00:13:06.380 --> 00:13:09.060 and like navigate it yourself. 250 00:13:09.060 --> 00:13:11.420 Also, I don't know if I already touched on this, 251 00:13:11.420 --> 00:13:14.540 is that affiliate program info session. 252 00:13:14.540 --> 00:13:19.300 That is uploaded in the replay of the app. 253 00:13:19.300 --> 00:13:22.540 So make sure that you ladies are watching that 254 00:13:22.540 --> 00:13:26.440 and we will post more details about that 255 00:13:26.440 --> 00:13:31.440 as we get that information out to you, okay? 256 00:13:32.300 --> 00:13:33.140 Awesome. 257 00:13:33.140 --> 00:13:36.420 All the housekeeping stuff, I think I covered, right? 258 00:13:36.420 --> 00:13:39.380 It's a lot, I know, and I know you ladies come in 259 00:13:39.380 --> 00:13:43.540 and you hear it every week, but it is super important, okay? 260 00:13:43.540 --> 00:13:45.340 So let's go ahead and jump into this teaching. 261 00:13:45.340 --> 00:13:48.240 Like I said, we've got lots of stuff going on here 262 00:13:48.240 --> 00:13:51.320 and I want to make sure I cover as much as I can, 263 00:13:51.320 --> 00:13:54.240 but I also wanna make sure I leave time for you ladies 264 00:13:54.240 --> 00:13:57.520 as well with all your questions and comments and feedback. 265 00:13:57.520 --> 00:14:02.160 Okay, so again, Supernatural Saturday, watch that. 266 00:14:02.160 --> 00:14:05.560 So let's see here, Dating 101, all right? 267 00:14:05.560 --> 00:14:08.440 How many of you ladies have watched that Dating 101? 268 00:14:08.440 --> 00:14:10.080 Just put your little avatar hand up 269 00:14:10.080 --> 00:14:11.840 if you've watched it already. 270 00:14:11.840 --> 00:14:14.540 Awesome, I think most of you have. 271 00:14:15.100 --> 00:14:18.940 I see, awesome, perfect. 272 00:14:18.940 --> 00:14:20.580 All right, if you haven't yet, 273 00:14:20.580 --> 00:14:21.820 so I think there's a couple of you 274 00:14:21.820 --> 00:14:23.060 that might not have watched it. 275 00:14:23.060 --> 00:14:26.560 This will be a great little overview for you. 276 00:14:26.560 --> 00:14:28.260 And then those of you that have watched it, 277 00:14:28.260 --> 00:14:30.880 maybe we can kind of unpack a little bit more 278 00:14:30.880 --> 00:14:31.820 of what that means. 279 00:14:31.820 --> 00:14:35.380 So we're gonna just go over those levels of dating, 280 00:14:35.380 --> 00:14:38.780 one, two, and three, and I'm gonna kind of unpack those 281 00:14:38.780 --> 00:14:41.700 and show you the value and talk a little bit of value 282 00:14:41.700 --> 00:14:42.900 of each of those stages. 283 00:14:42.900 --> 00:14:47.780 The first one we have is that level one relationship, 284 00:14:47.780 --> 00:14:48.620 all right? 285 00:14:48.620 --> 00:14:52.540 And what that means is it really is just people 286 00:14:52.540 --> 00:14:54.000 and community. 287 00:14:54.000 --> 00:14:57.740 This can be at church, this can be at your workplace, 288 00:14:57.740 --> 00:14:59.220 this could be, you know, 289 00:14:59.220 --> 00:15:00.620 just in everyday life. 290 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:06.520 day life. It's even included in that online dating. So if you're online, all the people 291 00:15:06.520 --> 00:15:12.320 that you're interacting with is still considered a level one. All right, that's you're in community, 292 00:15:12.320 --> 00:15:16.800 you're doing life, you're, you know, there's acquaintances, there's people that are coming 293 00:15:16.800 --> 00:15:24.200 across your day to day life. And so that's that level one, okay, this is not what we 294 00:15:24.200 --> 00:15:30.920 would consider level two, discovery dating, that does not happen until you get your first 295 00:15:30.920 --> 00:15:40.900 video date, or in person date. All right, the level one is just in real life. Okay. 296 00:15:40.900 --> 00:15:47.060 And then level two, that's that discovery dating. That's when you're getting face to 297 00:15:47.060 --> 00:15:55.080 face in person, or on a video. So believe it or not, ladies, when you're messaging back 298 00:15:55.080 --> 00:16:01.020 and forth to people, and you're doing it on text or in the apps or things like that, that's 299 00:16:01.020 --> 00:16:07.680 still considered level one. So let's just be mindful of the information that you are 300 00:16:07.680 --> 00:16:17.200 offering people and that level one that you're not worth vomiting. I was guilty of that. 301 00:16:17.200 --> 00:16:25.080 This program, it was really easy for me to get attached in level one dating. And even 302 00:16:25.080 --> 00:16:32.160 in level two, and that's where I had to learn some skills from this community to make sure 303 00:16:32.160 --> 00:16:39.320 that I wasn't putting myself in just not so great situation. So level two, that's when you 304 00:16:39.320 --> 00:16:46.760 are interacting face to face. So video chat, I say that's, it's great to go ahead and get on 305 00:16:46.760 --> 00:16:51.480 a video chat within the first week of messaging back and forth. All right, that's what we really 306 00:16:51.480 --> 00:16:56.760 do encourage. Because if you are doing more of your messaging back and forth for several weeks, 307 00:16:57.000 --> 00:17:04.839 what can happen there is you can create a false sense of intimacy with somebody. I actually can 308 00:17:04.839 --> 00:17:11.400 just share some of my own testimony. I found myself in this level. It was a level one because 309 00:17:11.400 --> 00:17:15.680 we were just messaging back and forth, maybe having a phone call here and there. I did this 310 00:17:15.680 --> 00:17:22.119 for almost like nine months with somebody. And I really thought that this guy was special and 311 00:17:22.480 --> 00:17:27.640 that we were having a relationship that when he moved from Indiana to Florida, where I was 312 00:17:27.640 --> 00:17:36.040 originally at, I thought we were in a full blown relationship and I got my heart broken because 313 00:17:36.040 --> 00:17:42.080 I was not in that sit. Like I just, we were not in an intimate relationship. We hadn't even had 314 00:17:42.080 --> 00:17:49.840 like face to face interactions. All right. So just be mindful of that. So your level two dating is 315 00:17:50.160 --> 00:17:56.720 those face to face interactions. So this is where you are going to learn to talk about high level 316 00:17:56.720 --> 00:18:02.160 versions. All right. So you are going to have some personal pieces, but you're not going to just dump 317 00:18:02.880 --> 00:18:09.840 all of your past stuff in onto that person. Okay. So again, it's learning to navigate 318 00:18:10.480 --> 00:18:17.360 and share pieces of you that let someone know who you are in the here and now, 319 00:18:18.240 --> 00:18:24.640 so that you're learning to, do you want to continue to get to know someone? All right. 320 00:18:24.640 --> 00:18:30.560 So level two, I always, the best way that I can break this down and what was helpful to me 321 00:18:30.560 --> 00:18:36.080 is to remember that you will have level two relationships with even your, with your girlfriends. 322 00:18:37.280 --> 00:18:42.400 All right. So when you're in community with people and maybe you're in a church group or a small 323 00:18:42.400 --> 00:18:47.840 group, you might like recognize like, man, that girl looks really, really cool. Like I think she 324 00:18:47.840 --> 00:18:53.040 would really be cool to get to know. And you might set up coffee dates with some new girlfriends, 325 00:18:53.040 --> 00:18:58.880 right? That's level two. It's literally just getting to know someone and whether or not you 326 00:18:58.880 --> 00:19:04.160 have some similarities and some things in common. And then as you're getting to know them in that 327 00:19:04.160 --> 00:19:09.360 level two, after a couple of times, you're going to start deciding, do I want to continue to get to 328 00:19:09.360 --> 00:19:15.040 know them more and have a deeper relationship with them? Like, is this going to be a girlfriend 329 00:19:15.040 --> 00:19:21.200 of mine? That's like my ride or die or my best friend. Or if I'm looking at it in a relation, 330 00:19:21.200 --> 00:19:26.560 like a romantic relationship, you're probably like, we don't encourage you to have that romance 331 00:19:27.120 --> 00:19:32.080 in level two. You are just saying, do I have some things in common with this guy? 332 00:19:32.960 --> 00:19:38.800 Do I see it going in that direction and figuring out more things about them? 333 00:19:40.080 --> 00:19:47.200 Kind of like peeling an onion. You just get to know a little bit at a time. So I always 334 00:19:47.200 --> 00:19:53.600 encourage in level two, like stay there for a couple months. There's nothing wrong with just 335 00:19:53.600 --> 00:19:59.600 getting to know somebody and just uncovering a little bit with somebody. If you're rushing in, 336 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:05.000 typically that's gonna be a red flag for you. 337 00:20:05.080 --> 00:20:09.120 So it's also navigating like how quickly are you jumping in? 338 00:20:09.120 --> 00:20:13.960 So that level two, like if you are getting so invested 339 00:20:13.960 --> 00:20:16.400 in someone that all of a sudden that they decided 340 00:20:16.400 --> 00:20:19.040 that they're not interested, maybe they start, 341 00:20:19.040 --> 00:20:22.360 like if it goes to you, are you gonna be devastated 342 00:20:22.360 --> 00:20:24.840 if you stop talking to them? 343 00:20:24.840 --> 00:20:26.200 If you are gonna find yourself 344 00:20:26.200 --> 00:20:28.120 like where you're gonna have this devastation 345 00:20:28.160 --> 00:20:31.840 if that person just kind of cuts and runs, 346 00:20:31.840 --> 00:20:33.440 if you're gonna feel that devastation, 347 00:20:33.440 --> 00:20:36.200 it's probably because you probably put a little bit 348 00:20:36.200 --> 00:20:39.280 too much pressure on that level two. 349 00:20:39.280 --> 00:20:40.960 And those are things that you can come here 350 00:20:40.960 --> 00:20:45.960 and we can unpack and we can navigate that with you, okay? 351 00:20:46.560 --> 00:20:49.960 So then when you have spent some time in level two, 352 00:20:49.960 --> 00:20:52.760 then you're thinking, wow, like I really, 353 00:20:52.760 --> 00:20:57.640 I really see myself interested in this person, 354 00:20:57.680 --> 00:21:01.560 I really wanna take this to the next level. 355 00:21:01.560 --> 00:21:06.560 Maybe you're like, I kind of am done meeting other people, 356 00:21:06.560 --> 00:21:08.520 I really wanna see where this is going. 357 00:21:08.520 --> 00:21:11.920 That would be that exclusive level three, all right? 358 00:21:11.920 --> 00:21:16.120 This is where ladies, we encourage the men to lead this. 359 00:21:16.120 --> 00:21:18.840 A man has got to be invested into wanting 360 00:21:18.840 --> 00:21:22.960 to have a level three exclusive relationship with you. 361 00:21:22.960 --> 00:21:26.800 It means there's intent and interest of taking it 362 00:21:26.800 --> 00:21:29.160 to the next step, okay? 363 00:21:29.160 --> 00:21:32.840 And getting to know them more on a romantic level, okay? 364 00:21:32.840 --> 00:21:35.000 And this is where you wanna pace yourself. 365 00:21:36.160 --> 00:21:38.120 You don't wanna, you don't wanna, 366 00:21:39.240 --> 00:21:42.880 you don't wanna get in over your head in this level, okay? 367 00:21:42.880 --> 00:21:45.840 So it's, you wanna make sure that you're resisting 368 00:21:45.840 --> 00:21:47.680 a little bit of that physical intimacy 369 00:21:47.680 --> 00:21:49.640 because this is maybe where you're gonna start 370 00:21:49.640 --> 00:21:52.840 holding hands, hugging, there might be some kissing, 371 00:21:52.840 --> 00:21:54.400 things of that nature. 372 00:21:54.400 --> 00:21:56.480 But again, here in Last Year Single, 373 00:21:56.480 --> 00:22:01.480 we do encourage that physical intimacy, 374 00:22:01.480 --> 00:22:03.120 especially in terms of sex. 375 00:22:03.120 --> 00:22:06.360 Like we want you to hopefully feel convicted 376 00:22:06.360 --> 00:22:10.080 to keep that for marriage, all right? 377 00:22:10.080 --> 00:22:12.160 Because sometimes, oftentimes, 378 00:22:12.160 --> 00:22:16.160 probably, it probably is more than once. 379 00:22:16.160 --> 00:22:17.520 I mean, or not more than once, 380 00:22:17.520 --> 00:22:20.720 but I can't say that there's never gonna be a time 381 00:22:20.720 --> 00:22:23.520 where if you're gonna get physically intimate with somebody, 382 00:22:23.520 --> 00:22:27.920 it can just lead to clouding of confusion 383 00:22:27.920 --> 00:22:30.520 and you're not gonna see red flags. 384 00:22:30.520 --> 00:22:32.640 So even in level three, 385 00:22:32.640 --> 00:22:36.400 there can still be red flags that arise. 386 00:22:36.400 --> 00:22:40.000 And if we're physically intimate with someone, 387 00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:41.280 it will cloud that. 388 00:22:41.280 --> 00:22:42.920 I can attest to that. 389 00:22:42.920 --> 00:22:47.720 I will, my testimony is that I just got myself 390 00:22:47.720 --> 00:22:49.960 in over my head and I never saw the red flags 391 00:22:49.960 --> 00:22:51.920 because here's the thing, ladies, 392 00:22:51.960 --> 00:22:55.120 I know that Renee even talks about this, 393 00:22:55.120 --> 00:22:57.280 I think in that boundaries video, 394 00:22:57.280 --> 00:23:02.280 where the female does let off some of that, 395 00:23:03.880 --> 00:23:07.680 it's a chemical that when we get physically intimate 396 00:23:07.680 --> 00:23:10.640 with somebody, it will release this connection 397 00:23:10.640 --> 00:23:12.360 and that will cloud. 398 00:23:12.360 --> 00:23:17.360 So again, in level three, resist too much physical intimacy. 399 00:23:18.640 --> 00:23:20.200 And again, ladies, we all understand 400 00:23:20.200 --> 00:23:22.840 that y'all are big girls here, right? 401 00:23:22.840 --> 00:23:25.600 Y'all adults, so we understand, 402 00:23:25.600 --> 00:23:29.920 but we have to make sure that we're communicating to you 403 00:23:29.920 --> 00:23:31.680 what can happen there, 404 00:23:31.680 --> 00:23:34.080 because I've seen it time and time again, 405 00:23:34.080 --> 00:23:37.400 and from my own experience, honestly, 406 00:23:37.400 --> 00:23:40.720 of how it's just never suited me, all right? 407 00:23:40.720 --> 00:23:45.600 It's never served me well to get in over my head, okay? 408 00:23:45.600 --> 00:23:49.200 All right, so if any questions about any of the levels, 409 00:23:49.240 --> 00:23:52.440 we can go into those deeper during our breakout, 410 00:23:52.440 --> 00:23:53.320 not a breakout session, 411 00:23:53.320 --> 00:23:56.240 but our group coaching session here in a little bit. 412 00:23:56.240 --> 00:24:00.000 So if you have any questions, definitely write them down 413 00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:02.720 and we can discuss more of those levels 414 00:24:02.720 --> 00:24:06.040 if you want further details on that, okay? 415 00:24:06.040 --> 00:24:07.960 Also, what you ladies are gonna hear, 416 00:24:07.960 --> 00:24:10.800 we'll often say it's a yes until it's a no. 417 00:24:10.800 --> 00:24:13.440 And so I do wanna kind of share what we mean by that. 418 00:24:13.440 --> 00:24:17.640 So oftentimes it's really easy for us 419 00:24:17.680 --> 00:24:20.480 to go on a date with somebody 420 00:24:20.480 --> 00:24:22.480 and we're already immediately like, 421 00:24:22.480 --> 00:24:25.120 okay, nope, this guy's not for me, all right? 422 00:24:25.120 --> 00:24:26.680 We might be triggered, 423 00:24:26.680 --> 00:24:29.840 we might have some of our things that were, 424 00:24:31.280 --> 00:24:35.360 we might have this list of things that we're looking for, 425 00:24:35.360 --> 00:24:38.560 and if a guy doesn't meet our physical attraction, 426 00:24:38.560 --> 00:24:41.280 or maybe he's a little awkward on a first date, 427 00:24:41.280 --> 00:24:43.840 we're ready to like cut and run, all right? 428 00:24:43.840 --> 00:24:47.440 So we encourage you ladies not to cut and run 429 00:24:48.200 --> 00:24:49.040 too soon. 430 00:24:49.040 --> 00:24:53.600 So what that means is give a guy a second or a third date, 431 00:24:53.600 --> 00:24:57.160 don't be ready to initially write them off 432 00:24:57.160 --> 00:24:59.120 for whatever superficial reason. 433 00:24:59.120 --> 00:25:00.280 So that could be like. 434 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:05.840 his looks and being too clunky or just awkward on a first date or even his 435 00:25:05.840 --> 00:25:09.680 interactions like so maybe you haven't even had a first date yet maybe in some 436 00:25:09.680 --> 00:25:13.640 of your video calls or your your messaging back and forth like maybe 437 00:25:13.640 --> 00:25:18.040 he's not doing all the things that you want him to do so let's not write men 438 00:25:18.040 --> 00:25:24.000 off right away the same thing like if he's sharing too much or too little just 439 00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:29.880 help communicate that so don't be ready to shut them down but what this also 440 00:25:29.880 --> 00:25:36.200 doesn't mean is that we're encouraging you ladies to say in something with 441 00:25:36.200 --> 00:25:42.000 someone that just really is treating you badly okay so again come here to our 442 00:25:42.000 --> 00:25:46.760 community if you're having a hard time figuring out is this a yes until it's a 443 00:25:46.760 --> 00:25:51.200 no is this a no or is this a yes like we're here to help you process through 444 00:25:51.200 --> 00:25:56.160 that as well so a lot of times this is where we talk about that being God 445 00:25:56.160 --> 00:26:02.520 defended versus being self defended so I will just encourage you ladies just to 446 00:26:02.520 --> 00:26:12.520 remember that sometimes rejection often means protection okay so looking at your 447 00:26:12.520 --> 00:26:17.280 God defended list versus your self defended list so Jackie talks a lot 448 00:26:17.280 --> 00:26:23.560 about that so again you want to make sure that you are open to men that have 449 00:26:23.560 --> 00:26:28.000 the three M's so what we mean by that is are they marriage minded are they 450 00:26:28.000 --> 00:26:32.980 mature and are they masculine now masculine we want to make sure that we 451 00:26:32.980 --> 00:26:39.240 have a healthy definition of what divine masculine looks like so that can we'll 452 00:26:39.240 --> 00:26:44.120 go you'll go in more detail in that divine feminine video and Jackie really 453 00:26:44.120 --> 00:26:48.440 does a great job of breaking down what divine feminine is versus and then 454 00:26:48.440 --> 00:26:56.240 divine masculine so keep that in mind all right um this also doesn't mean this 455 00:26:56.240 --> 00:27:00.200 yes until it's no that you continue to keep hanging out with a guy that you 456 00:27:00.200 --> 00:27:05.280 have nothing in common with or you really just don't enjoy your time give 457 00:27:05.280 --> 00:27:10.000 yourself two or three dates to really allow yourself to enjoy time with them 458 00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:16.080 but after two or three dates if you're just like man this guy it's like pulling 459 00:27:16.080 --> 00:27:23.360 teeth like I just do not enjoy myself like he's you know whatever I can't 460 00:27:23.360 --> 00:27:28.520 tell you some of the dating experiences that I have been on with guys that I'm 461 00:27:28.520 --> 00:27:35.440 like yeah this is just I actually even had that experience with someone I went 462 00:27:35.440 --> 00:27:40.000 on three dates with them we had a fourth date setting up I didn't feel like he 463 00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:45.840 was respecting some of my boundaries he was a little quirky he even actually 464 00:27:46.120 --> 00:27:52.320 met one of my friends and she was like you know Carla no this this guy is not 465 00:27:52.320 --> 00:27:57.280 your match he's like I just don't see this being you know the masculine man 466 00:27:57.280 --> 00:28:03.280 that you need to bring out your your you know best divine feminine self and so I 467 00:28:03.280 --> 00:28:09.400 really took like I took her her feedback what I was also experiencing and I went 468 00:28:09.400 --> 00:28:15.200 to God and I was like Lord I still don't know if I should cut this guy off or not 469 00:28:15.200 --> 00:28:21.600 I really need your peace about this and you know I did make a decision just to 470 00:28:21.600 --> 00:28:26.800 go ahead and in that with that guy and ask the Lord like look if I'm doing this 471 00:28:26.800 --> 00:28:31.480 wrong and I'm cutting and running too soon God I trust you I trust you with my 472 00:28:31.480 --> 00:28:35.960 spirit mate and if this guy is my spirit mate Lord you're not gonna allow allow 473 00:28:35.960 --> 00:28:40.160 me to shut that door but you're gonna open it when it needs to be open and 474 00:28:40.160 --> 00:28:47.400 thankfully I shut that door and for a year it did not it did not open back up 475 00:28:47.400 --> 00:28:53.200 and I can't tell you in that year how oftentimes I thought about reaching back 476 00:28:53.200 --> 00:28:58.040 out to the guy because I thought I shut the door too quickly but I kept being 477 00:28:58.040 --> 00:29:04.680 reminded that no I laid this at God's feet and I was asking him to open it not 478 00:29:04.680 --> 00:29:12.160 me and right before my husband dropped in my DMS I was considering reaching out 479 00:29:12.160 --> 00:29:18.960 to this guy but I I halted and I let God show me and then my actual husband came 480 00:29:18.960 --> 00:29:24.280 along and so I didn't I didn't have to I didn't have to do all of that stuff I 481 00:29:24.280 --> 00:29:30.440 trusted I was gonna do my part God was gonna do his so keep that in mind ladies 482 00:29:30.440 --> 00:29:36.360 all right surrender that pen do your part and then ask God to do his part 483 00:29:36.360 --> 00:29:42.040 all right so then also when we talk about keeping it light in the beginning 484 00:29:42.040 --> 00:29:46.920 so let's really talk about what this looks like looks like as well so no one 485 00:29:46.920 --> 00:29:53.680 expects you to keep things surface level and those first exchanges like at some 486 00:29:53.680 --> 00:29:59.440 point you're gonna have to share bits and pieces of yourself we just ask that 487 00:29:59.440 --> 00:30:02.440 you don't 488 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.000 in the drama, the trauma, or the triggers, okay? So, and none of that really should be in your 489 00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:13.680 first exchanges anyway, so again, it's just let them know a piece of you, but you don't have to, 490 00:30:13.680 --> 00:30:21.760 like, dump, right? If you have a hard time with that, again, us coaches are here to process that 491 00:30:21.760 --> 00:30:25.440 with you, and that's why I always encourage you ladies to come to these lives, because we can, 492 00:30:25.440 --> 00:30:31.680 we can break that down with you. Keeping it light does not mean that you're texting every day, 493 00:30:32.240 --> 00:30:37.200 all right? Keep texting to the facts, not your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions, 494 00:30:37.200 --> 00:30:43.120 your opinions, and you're, you know, analyzing things. Leave that for live conversation so you 495 00:30:43.120 --> 00:30:48.400 can hear someone's tone and inflection and see their body language, because that's when you're 496 00:30:48.400 --> 00:30:54.080 really going to see, are they 100% engaged with you, all right? You're not going to have someone's 497 00:30:54.080 --> 00:31:00.800 full attention when you're texting, all right? How many times have you messaged people and you've, 498 00:31:00.800 --> 00:31:04.640 like, gone through and read and been like, oh, that's not what I want to say, I want to change it, 499 00:31:05.680 --> 00:31:11.680 you know? So that can happen in that dating, like, you're not real, are you getting someone's initial 500 00:31:11.680 --> 00:31:16.720 response? Are you seeing their body language, how they're interacting with you? Like, are they 501 00:31:16.720 --> 00:31:21.440 engaged with what you're saying? Are they leaned in? Are they listening? Are they responding to what 502 00:31:21.440 --> 00:31:27.760 you're saying? Or is there, you know, I always, like, I can tell when people are checked out and 503 00:31:27.760 --> 00:31:34.400 when they're not, when I'm talking, you know? And also, like, it helps me even gauge, like, wow, I 504 00:31:34.400 --> 00:31:39.600 maybe am talking too much, so I need to go back and ask a question and get more interaction that 505 00:31:39.600 --> 00:31:47.760 way, all right? So just keep that in mind, you know, we don't want you on those apps and texting 506 00:31:47.760 --> 00:31:53.120 back and forth, like, really do your best to get that video call for an in-person date within that 507 00:31:53.120 --> 00:31:58.400 first week, I always say, is probably the best rule of thumb, all right? Because then you start texting 508 00:31:58.400 --> 00:32:02.640 more than a week, then you're going to start getting into those in-depth questions, and a lot 509 00:32:02.640 --> 00:32:07.200 of those questions you really do need to see how people are interacting with you face to face. 510 00:32:08.880 --> 00:32:15.120 Again, so that also helps keep in mind, like, if it means, like, if you're in that level 511 00:32:15.120 --> 00:32:20.320 of dating where, you know, in the beginning and you're keeping it light, like, if you're keeping 512 00:32:20.320 --> 00:32:25.520 things light and they left tomorrow, you're not going to be torn up from the floor up because 513 00:32:25.520 --> 00:32:31.760 you overshared, I mean, that's typically when you get emotionally attached because you've 514 00:32:31.760 --> 00:32:37.600 overshared a piece of you, it's kind of that, like, that hangover, like, I've had that where I've gotten, 515 00:32:37.600 --> 00:32:43.200 like, I, you know, maybe spent two or three hours on a phone call with someone that I've never met 516 00:32:43.200 --> 00:32:47.840 in person and I've just kind of overshared that then the next morning I wake up and I'm like, oh 517 00:32:47.840 --> 00:32:54.800 my gosh, like, what did I just do? Like, it's that emotional hangover, so we want to kind of, like, keep 518 00:32:54.800 --> 00:33:02.400 that, like, limited a little bit, okay? And again, I can't emphasize enough, ladies, that you cannot rush, 519 00:33:03.520 --> 00:33:07.840 you can't rush your spirit mate. I mean, if that person's your spirit mate, they're your spirit 520 00:33:07.840 --> 00:33:13.360 mate forever. You don't need to rush it because you're going to be with them forever, all right? 521 00:33:13.360 --> 00:33:22.320 There is such a gift in God's timing and, you know, it really, like, I can only share just my 522 00:33:22.320 --> 00:33:28.800 own testimony, like, God's timing really truly is perfect. I say that all the time in my, you know, 523 00:33:29.440 --> 00:33:34.880 relationship with my husband. It really was God's perfect timing. 524 00:33:36.240 --> 00:33:41.760 So, you know, don't rush into it. You know, God hasn't forgotten about you. God's not going to 525 00:33:41.760 --> 00:33:48.320 give up on your desire, all right? He put that desire there for marriage, so trust him with it. 526 00:33:48.320 --> 00:33:54.000 He's got all of the pieces. He's got all the puzzle pieces. We only typically have a couple 527 00:33:54.000 --> 00:34:01.360 puzzle pieces, but God knows that masterpiece. He knows what he wants it to look like, 528 00:34:01.360 --> 00:34:07.440 so trust him with that because sometimes you don't want to rush a timing thing because it could 529 00:34:07.440 --> 00:34:14.320 actually make things fall apart. Like, my husband and I, like, my husband had to have, he had to be 530 00:34:14.320 --> 00:34:21.040 open and ready for that right time. If we would have met a year or two prior, neither one of us 531 00:34:21.040 --> 00:34:26.320 would have been ready, all right? My husband was living in Texas, and I was living in Florida, 532 00:34:26.320 --> 00:34:33.440 and I was not moving. Like, I was adamant about that. Y'all can ask Jackie. Jackie for years 533 00:34:34.080 --> 00:34:40.000 asked me, like, are you willing to move? Are you willing to, like, relocate? And I was like, 534 00:34:40.000 --> 00:34:44.960 absolutely not. Like, why would anyone want to leave Florida? It's amazing. It's like paradise. 535 00:34:45.760 --> 00:34:54.480 And so, and I had such a community there. Like, I loved being in Florida. I was not going to leave. 536 00:34:55.199 --> 00:34:59.920 So, if I would have met my husband sooner than what I did, I would have probably shot 537 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.760 the door on him because he wasn't living in Texas and he wasn't moving. 538 00:35:05.280 --> 00:35:09.520 Once I released and surrendered the pen of this idea of relocating because 539 00:35:09.520 --> 00:35:11.240 finally I had enough, I was, 540 00:35:11.280 --> 00:35:16.280 I was starting to doubt and be discouraged with God's promise of marriage. 541 00:35:18.400 --> 00:35:22.080 I was ready to just to throw in the towel. I was done. I was done dating. 542 00:35:22.440 --> 00:35:26.080 Like I had been in this program for over two years. It wasn't happening. 543 00:35:26.360 --> 00:35:29.920 And I was like, that's it. Enough is enough. And Jackie's like, 544 00:35:31.000 --> 00:35:33.160 he might not be in your area. Carla, 545 00:35:33.160 --> 00:35:37.640 are you willing to open up your radius here? You're, you know, 546 00:35:37.720 --> 00:35:39.440 distance here and, and, 547 00:35:40.080 --> 00:35:44.840 and think about dating and talking to people that are maybe not in your area. 548 00:35:45.440 --> 00:35:47.760 And finally I was like, you know what, God's going to do what he's going to do. 549 00:35:48.080 --> 00:35:50.960 So I guess if you know, that's the case, then sure. Why not? 550 00:35:51.560 --> 00:35:52.760 A week later, 551 00:35:53.040 --> 00:35:57.640 my husband dropped into my DMS and I thought he lived in Florida 552 00:35:57.840 --> 00:36:01.520 and then when I met, he messaged me, I thought, Oh yeah, you're in Clearwater. 553 00:36:01.520 --> 00:36:05.480 I'm in Sarasota. That's an hour away. He's like, Oh no, 554 00:36:05.520 --> 00:36:10.040 I live in Dallas, Fort Worth. I travel for work. 555 00:36:10.040 --> 00:36:14.760 My work is based out of Clearwater. I'm only there once every couple months. 556 00:36:15.480 --> 00:36:18.320 He's like, I understand if you don't want to continue talking. 557 00:36:18.320 --> 00:36:22.240 And I was like, well, you know what? I might as well just be open to it. 558 00:36:22.240 --> 00:36:25.160 We can get, we can go ahead and get to know each other better. 559 00:36:25.160 --> 00:36:30.160 Three weeks later we met and then the rest is history. 560 00:36:30.600 --> 00:36:35.600 I knew he wasn't willing to relocate and God really started pressing on my heart 561 00:36:36.280 --> 00:36:40.280 once we got into an exclusive relationship about, you know, 562 00:36:40.680 --> 00:36:43.280 three or four days after that exclusive relationship. 563 00:36:43.280 --> 00:36:48.280 My son's biological father shared with me that he was leaving Florida. 564 00:36:48.360 --> 00:36:49.760 He was moving to Michigan. 565 00:36:49.760 --> 00:36:54.760 So that, you know, hesitation of moving out of Florida was that burden was gone. 566 00:36:56.760 --> 00:36:59.760 And I didn't have to do anything with it. I didn't, 567 00:36:59.760 --> 00:37:04.760 I didn't push my husband or my husband, my son's dad to move. 568 00:37:04.760 --> 00:37:08.760 God opened that door and he was basically saying, Carla, 569 00:37:08.760 --> 00:37:12.760 I release you from this area because now your son's dad's not here. 570 00:37:12.760 --> 00:37:14.760 You have no reason to stay in Florida. 571 00:37:14.760 --> 00:37:19.760 I'm giving you, I'm giving you the go ahead, the green light that you can be open 572 00:37:19.760 --> 00:37:24.760 to moving. So that's kind of the long story here about, you know, 573 00:37:24.760 --> 00:37:28.760 rushing into things. And, and I, you know, I had to be ready. 574 00:37:28.760 --> 00:37:33.760 I had to be ready to relocate and my husband even needed to be ready because he 575 00:37:33.760 --> 00:37:36.760 was dating and making all the wrong decisions with ladies. 576 00:37:36.760 --> 00:37:39.760 So I had to be ready to relocate. 577 00:37:39.760 --> 00:37:44.760 So I had to be ready to relocate and my husband even needed to be ready because 578 00:37:44.760 --> 00:37:48.760 he was dating and making all the wrong decisions with ladies previous to, 579 00:37:48.760 --> 00:37:53.760 so he was having to be willing to allow God to show him who his wife was going 580 00:37:53.760 --> 00:37:56.760 to be. So God's timing is always perfect. 581 00:37:56.760 --> 00:38:00.760 And he's very intentional with his timing. Okay. Okay. 582 00:38:00.760 --> 00:38:05.760 Just a few more things. I know we're kind of going a little over here, 583 00:38:05.760 --> 00:38:07.760 but I do want to touch on a couple more things. 584 00:38:08.760 --> 00:38:12.760 It really is not just, you're not just getting to know new people, 585 00:38:12.760 --> 00:38:16.760 but you're also getting to know yourself too. So just keep that in mind. 586 00:38:16.760 --> 00:38:19.760 Sometimes God's going to bring people for you to date, 587 00:38:19.760 --> 00:38:23.760 not because they're your person and then you need to get to know them better, 588 00:38:23.760 --> 00:38:27.760 but it's going to unlock some things that you need to learn about yourself too. 589 00:38:27.760 --> 00:38:32.760 So don't get discouraged when you go on a date and it's not what you 590 00:38:33.760 --> 00:38:38.760 anticipated it to be because maybe it's just what you needed to grow you. 591 00:38:39.760 --> 00:38:44.760 Maybe God wants to show you some areas to upgrade. 592 00:38:45.760 --> 00:38:50.760 All right. That's, that was my experience. And I, 593 00:38:50.760 --> 00:38:54.760 and oftentimes many of the women that have success stories in here, 594 00:38:54.760 --> 00:38:59.760 that was their experience too. I want to encourage you ladies to remove the, 595 00:39:00.760 --> 00:39:05.760 is this my husband thought and mindset when you're out dating, 596 00:39:05.760 --> 00:39:07.760 especially in those first couple of days, 597 00:39:08.760 --> 00:39:13.760 it really does create a block and it adds so much pressure. All right. 598 00:39:14.760 --> 00:39:18.760 So instead I would encourage you to replace that. 599 00:39:18.760 --> 00:39:23.760 Is this my husband mindset to how can God use this person as an opportunity to 600 00:39:24.760 --> 00:39:28.760 grow into my best self? 601 00:39:28.760 --> 00:39:33.760 Because that's what this program really is all about us learning how to be the 602 00:39:34.760 --> 00:39:38.760 best version of ourselves so that we can be a gift to our spirit mate. 603 00:39:39.760 --> 00:39:41.760 All right. Remember we're better together. 604 00:39:42.760 --> 00:39:46.760 Your spirit mate is going to grow you and help you grow into a better version 605 00:39:46.760 --> 00:39:49.760 of yourself, but you're also going to do that for your husband. 606 00:39:49.760 --> 00:39:54.760 And we want you just like you want your husband doing the work before he meets 607 00:39:55.760 --> 00:39:59.760 you. We got to also be a gift to our spirit mate. 608 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.360 willing to do the work before we meet him. 609 00:40:02.360 --> 00:40:05.340 So that is the best advice that I can give 610 00:40:05.340 --> 00:40:07.180 in this process of dating. 611 00:40:08.280 --> 00:40:10.280 Ladies, I want you to be mindful 612 00:40:10.280 --> 00:40:14.080 of any of those critical hearts that you might have 613 00:40:14.080 --> 00:40:16.400 because a critical heart is a broken heart 614 00:40:16.400 --> 00:40:20.420 and it's gonna be recognizing those as growth opportunities. 615 00:40:20.420 --> 00:40:23.360 So if you are finding yourself picking people apart 616 00:40:23.360 --> 00:40:24.560 in those early stages, 617 00:40:24.560 --> 00:40:27.120 a lot of times that can be a revealing for healing. 618 00:40:27.680 --> 00:40:31.840 And so balancing that mindset 619 00:40:31.840 --> 00:40:35.040 and focusing all your energy on that. 620 00:40:35.040 --> 00:40:40.040 So if you are constantly criticizing 621 00:40:40.520 --> 00:40:43.280 or concerned with their actions, 622 00:40:43.280 --> 00:40:45.960 I really want you to challenge yourself 623 00:40:45.960 --> 00:40:50.960 to be aware of, are you focusing on their actions? 624 00:40:53.360 --> 00:40:55.480 Are you focusing on what you can do 625 00:40:55.480 --> 00:40:57.160 to grow into that opportunity? 626 00:40:58.040 --> 00:41:00.200 And also ladies, if you're on the apps, 627 00:41:00.200 --> 00:41:02.600 don't be quick to throw in the towel. 628 00:41:02.600 --> 00:41:05.760 I know that online dating can be 629 00:41:05.760 --> 00:41:09.240 sometimes like pulling teeth, right? 630 00:41:09.240 --> 00:41:11.280 If you're online dating and sometimes you're just like, 631 00:41:11.280 --> 00:41:14.000 oh my gosh, this is just like, 632 00:41:15.480 --> 00:41:16.880 Eliza, I see you laughing 633 00:41:16.880 --> 00:41:19.200 so you probably have experienced it, right? 634 00:41:19.200 --> 00:41:20.920 Where you're just like, oh my gosh, 635 00:41:20.920 --> 00:41:24.920 this is just annoying, all right? 636 00:41:25.800 --> 00:41:29.840 Many of these guys don't have a Jackie in their life. 637 00:41:29.840 --> 00:41:31.920 They just don't, you know? 638 00:41:31.920 --> 00:41:34.760 So sometimes it's like giving those guys grace 639 00:41:34.760 --> 00:41:36.840 because let's face it, 640 00:41:36.840 --> 00:41:40.680 like we're all just out there trying to figure it out. 641 00:41:40.680 --> 00:41:44.000 I mean, we're here because we needed help. 642 00:41:44.000 --> 00:41:45.320 Many of these men like, 643 00:41:46.360 --> 00:41:47.960 sometimes they might not even realize 644 00:41:47.960 --> 00:41:49.320 that they need the help. 645 00:41:49.320 --> 00:41:50.800 And most men are, I mean, 646 00:41:50.800 --> 00:41:54.480 I found that a lot of men really, it's a pride thing. 647 00:41:55.080 --> 00:41:57.160 It's something that men battle and that masculinity, 648 00:41:57.160 --> 00:42:02.160 like they do battle this reaching out for help, you know? 649 00:42:02.480 --> 00:42:04.800 And if you can find a man that has a teachable heart, 650 00:42:04.800 --> 00:42:08.080 like that is gold, like it is. 651 00:42:08.080 --> 00:42:09.840 So just be mindful, 652 00:42:09.840 --> 00:42:12.320 like these men don't have it all together either. 653 00:42:12.320 --> 00:42:14.440 I mean, none of us do. 654 00:42:14.440 --> 00:42:16.640 We're all gonna have yellow flags. 655 00:42:16.640 --> 00:42:17.920 Like that's just reality. 656 00:42:17.920 --> 00:42:20.200 We're all gonna have these opportunities 657 00:42:20.200 --> 00:42:22.440 for growth and upgrades. 658 00:42:22.440 --> 00:42:25.000 So again, don't be ready to throw in the towel. 659 00:42:25.000 --> 00:42:28.720 Like there is a feast or famine to the online dating. 660 00:42:28.720 --> 00:42:29.560 It really is. 661 00:42:29.560 --> 00:42:31.320 I remember there would be times I'm like, 662 00:42:31.320 --> 00:42:32.440 where are the men at? 663 00:42:32.440 --> 00:42:34.240 And then all of a sudden, like a week or two later, 664 00:42:34.240 --> 00:42:35.120 it was like raining men. 665 00:42:35.120 --> 00:42:36.720 And I like, I couldn't even manage it 666 00:42:36.720 --> 00:42:39.640 because I had a busy life being a single mama. 667 00:42:39.640 --> 00:42:42.600 So don't throw in the towel too quickly. 668 00:42:42.600 --> 00:42:43.920 I will even say, 669 00:42:43.920 --> 00:42:46.360 stick with an app for at least two or three months 670 00:42:46.360 --> 00:42:49.840 before jumping off and move into another one. 671 00:42:49.840 --> 00:42:52.760 Because again, you just never know the algorithms 672 00:42:52.760 --> 00:42:54.320 that these dating apps use. 673 00:42:54.320 --> 00:42:57.040 You just give it time, 674 00:42:57.040 --> 00:43:00.000 trust that God's got you where he wants you 675 00:43:00.000 --> 00:43:01.680 and where he needs you. 676 00:43:01.680 --> 00:43:05.480 So just focus on that. 677 00:43:05.480 --> 00:43:09.360 And last, I saw a lot of discouragement happening 678 00:43:09.360 --> 00:43:10.480 for some of you ladies. 679 00:43:10.480 --> 00:43:14.240 So I would like to, 680 00:43:14.240 --> 00:43:15.840 actually let's do this right now. 681 00:43:15.880 --> 00:43:20.040 Ladies, if you have been feeling any sort of discouragement 682 00:43:20.040 --> 00:43:23.720 in this whole like promise of marriage, 683 00:43:23.720 --> 00:43:27.440 can you go ahead and just type in the chat? 684 00:43:27.440 --> 00:43:30.920 Like what discouragement are you feeling? 685 00:43:30.920 --> 00:43:33.160 What are you struggling with the most? 686 00:43:34.160 --> 00:43:37.400 And then let's start giving each other some encouragement 687 00:43:37.400 --> 00:43:39.480 and lifting each other up. 688 00:43:39.480 --> 00:43:42.120 All right, and then I am gonna do a breakout 689 00:43:42.120 --> 00:43:44.760 with you ladies here in a moment. 690 00:43:46.520 --> 00:43:49.320 So that you all can kind of get one-on-one 691 00:43:49.320 --> 00:43:51.360 with a few, two or three of you 692 00:43:51.360 --> 00:43:54.280 and that you guys can be sharing some stuff together. 693 00:43:54.280 --> 00:43:55.960 And then we can come back in here 694 00:43:55.960 --> 00:43:59.960 and we can unpack some more things together. 695 00:43:59.960 --> 00:44:02.360 But if you are feeling discouraged, 696 00:44:02.360 --> 00:44:04.120 yes, okay, we got some people coming in. 697 00:44:04.120 --> 00:44:08.920 Okay, I have not had a date yet and I'm annoyed. 698 00:44:08.920 --> 00:44:11.520 Oh girl, I feel you. 699 00:44:11.520 --> 00:44:13.400 I really struggled with that. 700 00:44:14.240 --> 00:44:19.240 Oftentimes there would be people that would express 701 00:44:19.640 --> 00:44:23.040 somebody that they might had for me to date. 702 00:44:23.040 --> 00:44:26.760 And then as soon as like it was shared 703 00:44:26.760 --> 00:44:30.600 or they reached out to a guy, it was kind of like crickets. 704 00:44:30.600 --> 00:44:33.000 Or I was on the online apps and I thought, 705 00:44:33.000 --> 00:44:36.640 oh, there's a guy that I might be interested in. 706 00:44:36.640 --> 00:44:40.560 And then all of a sudden like they unmatched me 707 00:44:40.560 --> 00:44:42.800 or they stopped responding to me. 708 00:44:43.840 --> 00:44:46.760 I had a hard time even just getting dates 709 00:44:46.760 --> 00:44:48.880 because my schedule was a little tight. 710 00:44:48.880 --> 00:44:50.200 I was a single mama. 711 00:44:51.360 --> 00:44:53.920 My son went to his dad every other weekend, 712 00:44:53.920 --> 00:44:56.840 one night a week, every other Saturday night. 713 00:44:58.200 --> 00:45:00.360 So that got discouraging because I didn't. 714 00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:06.000 have a lot of room in my schedule to be able to do that. I mean I had a busy life early mornings, 715 00:45:06.000 --> 00:45:11.920 so even weekday dates were a little difficult. So I feel you, Mariah. I understand it can be 716 00:45:11.920 --> 00:45:18.000 annoying, but just rest assured, you know, God's got you, okay? And if you want to unpack that in 717 00:45:18.000 --> 00:45:22.720 a little bit, we can do that. Susie, you're feeling discouraged that you haven't had dates 718 00:45:22.720 --> 00:45:28.560 yet either, and you haven't really met anyone that you're interested in. I feel you 100%. 719 00:45:30.000 --> 00:45:36.880 Let's see here. I thought my chat just kind of went crazy there. So yeah, you haven't met anyone 720 00:45:36.880 --> 00:45:43.760 that you're interested in. Susie, I want to encourage you, like, have you shared with 721 00:45:43.760 --> 00:45:49.760 friends and family that you're open to dating? Maybe they can get you in front of people. Ladies, 722 00:45:49.760 --> 00:45:55.120 let me tell you this. Sometimes it's even meeting other women. Maybe getting yourself out there to 723 00:45:55.120 --> 00:46:00.160 other women and engaging and building some friendships, new friendships, because you never 724 00:46:00.160 --> 00:46:07.200 know who's connected to your spirit mate. So okay, Leslie, you honestly wish God would just take your 725 00:46:07.200 --> 00:46:13.840 desire away because the process becomes exhausting and disappointing. I get it. I get that exhaustion 726 00:46:13.840 --> 00:46:22.720 and the disappointment. Leslie, are you currently, are you on the apps? Are you, what's going on there? 727 00:46:26.000 --> 00:46:32.960 I'm on the apps. And so it's just, it's getting exhausting just being on the apps. 728 00:46:34.080 --> 00:46:45.440 Yeah, that's exhausting. Then I think I just, I don't know that I think that I'll find someone that I truly 729 00:46:46.080 --> 00:46:53.760 will be great. Yeah, I've never met somebody great. So I just have a hard time believing that I will. 730 00:46:56.240 --> 00:47:03.040 It is exhausting. I'm just get so tired of saying hello, good morning, blah, blah, blah, all day, 731 00:47:03.040 --> 00:47:10.880 every day. And then the idea of going through the whole process and then them not being the one, I 732 00:47:11.200 --> 00:47:16.400 just, I'd rather not. Yeah. How long have you been on the apps? 733 00:47:18.400 --> 00:47:24.800 Well, I've done it before I did this program. So I did it last year. Then I was off because I was 734 00:47:24.800 --> 00:47:32.880 seeing someone who I thought was going to be my one. And anyway, now I'm back on. 735 00:47:33.520 --> 00:47:41.840 Leslie, I feel you, honey. I totally get it. I just, I want to just release some encouragement 736 00:47:41.840 --> 00:47:49.840 to you, you know, give yourself grace. It's, it's totally okay to give yourself some grace and just, 737 00:47:49.840 --> 00:47:55.440 you know, allow God to come in and just comfort you in this time. You know, I had to give myself 738 00:47:55.440 --> 00:48:00.320 some of that time too, especially when I was getting discouraged with my job. And so I just 739 00:48:01.200 --> 00:48:05.280 especially when I was getting discouraged when guys just were not, it just didn't seem like it 740 00:48:05.280 --> 00:48:11.280 was clicking. It wasn't working. There was even a gentleman in this program that I thought was 741 00:48:11.280 --> 00:48:17.520 going to be it. He, he was, you know, he was a great guy and you know, he just wasn't interested 742 00:48:17.520 --> 00:48:23.840 in me and you not interested in me more than a friend. And so when I started seeing him date 743 00:48:23.840 --> 00:48:30.960 somebody who was actually in my area, it was, it was, it was really, it was really hard, but I just 744 00:48:30.960 --> 00:48:38.400 allowed myself to feel it. I connected with a lot of women in this community. I built really strong 745 00:48:38.400 --> 00:48:44.160 connections with the women in this community. So Leslie, I do want to encourage you, you know, 746 00:48:44.160 --> 00:48:50.320 don't allow yourself to be in any sort of isolation, like really do connect in this community 747 00:48:50.320 --> 00:48:56.160 and, and, you know, ladies, we're going to have, we have these single cities as well. I know that 748 00:48:56.160 --> 00:49:00.880 link came up in the app. So if you have a single city that is close to your area, I will encourage 749 00:49:00.880 --> 00:49:07.200 you to get plugged into that, you know, share with other ladies that might be in, in the air, 750 00:49:07.200 --> 00:49:12.400 in the same area that you're in and make connections. Even if it's a couple hours away, 751 00:49:12.400 --> 00:49:22.240 ladies, I, this program gave me so many relationships, friendships in this community. 752 00:49:22.240 --> 00:49:29.200 I have connections all over the country from this community. I was living in Florida. I had 753 00:49:29.200 --> 00:49:36.800 several girlfriends that were in the Atlanta area. I had some that were in the Midwest where I grew 754 00:49:36.800 --> 00:49:42.560 up. There were some in the Carolinas that I had connected with many of the women in Texas, 755 00:49:42.560 --> 00:49:48.720 like, and I had no idea it was going to be moving to Texas. And so now I've had relationships and 756 00:49:48.720 --> 00:49:56.320 friendships there. One of the girls that I got to know and became close with, 757 00:49:56.320 --> 00:49:59.920 she's the one that introduced me to my husband. She saw him. 758 00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.240 his profile on some Facebook Christian singles group and was like, 759 00:50:03.240 --> 00:50:04.200 Hey, what do you think? 760 00:50:04.960 --> 00:50:08.160 She was originally, she had lived in my area at one point. 761 00:50:08.160 --> 00:50:09.520 I didn't know her when she lived there. 762 00:50:09.520 --> 00:50:12.800 She was actually, I think, lived there before I had moved into the Sarasota area. 763 00:50:13.080 --> 00:50:17.600 She was living in Atlanta, but then she was traveling as a, she was a travel nurse. 764 00:50:17.600 --> 00:50:20.280 And so she was moving to like North Dakota and now she's in Missouri and 765 00:50:20.280 --> 00:50:22.480 she was dating her husband now. 766 00:50:22.480 --> 00:50:25.280 And she's was like, Hey, what about this guy? 767 00:50:26.320 --> 00:50:28.000 And then she reached out to him. 768 00:50:28.000 --> 00:50:30.040 And was like, you need to get to know my friend Carla. 769 00:50:30.360 --> 00:50:32.440 And you know, my husband dropped into my DMS. 770 00:50:33.160 --> 00:50:35.440 So it's, it's building connections. 771 00:50:35.840 --> 00:50:36.960 So don't lose hope. 772 00:50:36.960 --> 00:50:41.400 And don't think ladies like, yes, online dating is a great 773 00:50:41.400 --> 00:50:43.760 resource to help get you out there. 774 00:50:43.760 --> 00:50:47.240 But don't, don't think that that is the only way that you 775 00:50:47.240 --> 00:50:49.360 can start building connections. 776 00:50:49.920 --> 00:50:50.600 Okay. 777 00:50:51.080 --> 00:50:53.400 There's, there's other ways of doing that. 778 00:50:53.400 --> 00:51:00.040 So, you know, I just, Leslie, I just want us to fill you with God's hope. 779 00:51:00.160 --> 00:51:00.760 All right. 780 00:51:01.360 --> 00:51:03.240 He's put that desire in you. 781 00:51:03.640 --> 00:51:06.400 I believe that there's going to be such great fruit and such 782 00:51:06.400 --> 00:51:09.600 great testimony to your love story. 783 00:51:10.800 --> 00:51:15.040 And it's okay to just rest in the exhaustion at times 784 00:51:15.040 --> 00:51:18.400 and allow yourself grace. 785 00:51:19.360 --> 00:51:20.040 All right. 786 00:51:20.400 --> 00:51:22.760 So hope that helps you and encourages you ladies. 787 00:51:22.760 --> 00:51:25.800 I hope that encourages all of you that are feeling some 788 00:51:25.800 --> 00:51:27.760 discouragement and some hopelessness. 789 00:51:28.200 --> 00:51:30.320 Like, I can't tell you enough. 790 00:51:30.440 --> 00:51:31.480 I had that. 791 00:51:32.200 --> 00:51:34.440 I had that literally. 792 00:51:35.360 --> 00:51:40.480 Like, I mean, I was avoiding Jackie, like the plague before I met my husband. 793 00:51:41.600 --> 00:51:44.400 Like she was trying to reach out to me and I was like, no, don't hear you. 794 00:51:44.480 --> 00:51:45.040 I want to hear you. 795 00:51:46.280 --> 00:51:51.480 And so, and even when she, when I did finally connect with Jackie. 796 00:51:52.400 --> 00:51:54.200 I still, I didn't have the faith. 797 00:51:55.560 --> 00:51:59.840 And I remember specifically, she asked me to borrow her faith because she 798 00:51:59.840 --> 00:52:05.680 believed Jackie believed that I was next, that I was going to be the bride. 799 00:52:05.960 --> 00:52:07.240 I didn't believe it ladies. 800 00:52:07.800 --> 00:52:11.480 I didn't believe it, but she did. 801 00:52:12.280 --> 00:52:18.360 So if you don't have the faith and you're feeling discouraged, borrow our faith. 802 00:52:19.360 --> 00:52:21.920 We believe this for you because we've seen it happen. 803 00:52:21.920 --> 00:52:24.640 I've been in this community since 2020. 804 00:52:25.920 --> 00:52:29.600 It's it's literally, I've been in this for about four years. 805 00:52:30.160 --> 00:52:33.000 I found Jackie at the end of September of 2020. 806 00:52:33.440 --> 00:52:36.840 I joined the program in October, but September, yeah, October. 807 00:52:37.800 --> 00:52:39.200 I've been in it for four years. 808 00:52:39.240 --> 00:52:39.920 I've seen it. 809 00:52:39.960 --> 00:52:41.080 I've seen it happen. 810 00:52:41.080 --> 00:52:43.920 I've seen the supernatural happen ladies. 811 00:52:44.200 --> 00:52:45.680 So borrow our faith. 812 00:52:46.160 --> 00:52:47.960 It will happen for you. 813 00:52:49.120 --> 00:52:49.720 All right. 814 00:52:50.440 --> 00:52:51.400 Sit with that. 815 00:52:51.880 --> 00:52:54.920 If it's happened for others, it can happen for you. 816 00:52:57.360 --> 00:53:00.520 And I just feel so strongly, even the message that Jackie gave 817 00:53:00.520 --> 00:53:03.400 on Supernatural Saturday, ladies, check it out. 818 00:53:04.040 --> 00:53:04.640 All right. 819 00:53:05.000 --> 00:53:09.040 In the very beginning, she talks about the affiliate program and that, and the, 820 00:53:09.040 --> 00:53:12.680 the consumer mentality that we're always wanting to, to, to receive and 821 00:53:12.680 --> 00:53:14.320 take, but we've got to give it back. 822 00:53:14.320 --> 00:53:17.840 Ladies, you make what you make happen for other people. 823 00:53:17.840 --> 00:53:19.360 You can make happen for yourself. 824 00:53:19.920 --> 00:53:21.560 What you make happen for others. 825 00:53:21.560 --> 00:53:23.040 God will make happen for you. 826 00:53:23.760 --> 00:53:26.200 Sometimes it's about shifting our mindsets. 827 00:53:27.360 --> 00:53:27.800 All right. 828 00:53:27.800 --> 00:53:31.960 So I just want just to remind you ladies, don't lose hope. 829 00:53:32.160 --> 00:53:33.120 It's there. 830 00:53:33.840 --> 00:53:34.760 We believe it. 831 00:53:35.040 --> 00:53:38.040 You may not believe it right now, but we do. 832 00:53:38.160 --> 00:53:39.520 So borrow our faith. 833 00:53:40.280 --> 00:53:42.880 And as soon as I did that, I literally, I mean, because it's 834 00:53:42.880 --> 00:53:44.640 I had the conversation with Jackie. 835 00:53:44.640 --> 00:53:46.240 She can probably recall this. 836 00:53:47.280 --> 00:53:48.520 I was like, I'm, I'm over it. 837 00:53:48.800 --> 00:53:52.600 I feel like I'm a failure as a mom and it's too overwhelming. 838 00:53:52.600 --> 00:53:53.760 It's too exhausting. 839 00:53:53.760 --> 00:53:54.840 I'm done dating. 840 00:53:54.840 --> 00:53:56.440 I just can't do this anymore. 841 00:53:56.440 --> 00:53:59.200 God's just going to have to make something crazy happen. 842 00:53:59.720 --> 00:54:01.560 And that's when she's like, well, maybe he's not in your area. 843 00:54:01.560 --> 00:54:02.520 And I'm like, well, you know what? 844 00:54:02.520 --> 00:54:04.440 If he's not, then God let it happen. 845 00:54:04.680 --> 00:54:09.680 Cause I I'm done searching in seven days, like seven days later, I 846 00:54:09.680 --> 00:54:18.640 on 11, 11 of 2022, my husband dropped in my DNS talk about like talk about numbers. 847 00:54:18.680 --> 00:54:19.240 Right. 848 00:54:19.720 --> 00:54:21.320 You guys have listened to Jackie. 849 00:54:21.320 --> 00:54:23.640 She knows like God speaks to her through numbers. 850 00:54:23.640 --> 00:54:29.960 God was speaking to me through numbers, seven days, the number of completion 851 00:54:31.800 --> 00:54:34.200 seven days later, I'm like, I'm done. 852 00:54:34.200 --> 00:54:34.720 I'm done. 853 00:54:34.720 --> 00:54:35.240 I'm done. 854 00:54:35.240 --> 00:54:35.720 I'm done. 855 00:54:35.720 --> 00:54:36.240 I'm done. 856 00:54:36.240 --> 00:54:36.760 I'm done. 857 00:54:36.760 --> 00:54:37.240 I'm done. 858 00:54:37.240 --> 00:54:37.760 I'm done. 859 00:54:37.760 --> 00:54:38.240 I'm done. 860 00:54:38.240 --> 00:54:38.760 I'm done. 861 00:54:38.760 --> 00:54:43.280 Seven days later, he dropped into my DMS after like literally surrendering the pen. 862 00:54:43.960 --> 00:54:45.880 It took me years to surrender that pen. 863 00:54:46.160 --> 00:54:48.680 I surrender it for a minute and then I like take it back. 864 00:54:49.680 --> 00:54:50.280 All right. 865 00:54:51.760 --> 00:54:55.960 So I hope that just fills you ladies with some hope and some encouragement. 866 00:54:56.840 --> 00:54:58.320 I'm seeing a lot more here. 867 00:54:58.800 --> 00:55:00.040 You know, you've been online for about. 868 00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.320 about two minutes, Susie, and it seems like mission impossible. 869 00:55:03.320 --> 00:55:04.040 I get it. 870 00:55:04.040 --> 00:55:06.760 Just do the next best thing. 871 00:55:09.680 --> 00:55:12.280 And if you ladies are online, just remember, 872 00:55:12.280 --> 00:55:14.560 that's not the only avenue that you can use. 873 00:55:14.560 --> 00:55:16.600 I think it's a great avenue, because sometimes it 874 00:55:16.600 --> 00:55:18.480 gets you in front of people that you might not 875 00:55:18.480 --> 00:55:19.760 have been in front of before. 876 00:55:23.960 --> 00:55:25.480 Let's see. 877 00:55:25.480 --> 00:55:28.080 Sometimes, OK, so Elizette, you feel like sometimes you 878 00:55:28.080 --> 00:55:29.680 won't be able to love someone again. 879 00:55:29.680 --> 00:55:30.840 I get that. 880 00:55:30.840 --> 00:55:37.000 I had my heart broken often with men in my past, 881 00:55:37.000 --> 00:55:39.320 especially my son's dad. 882 00:55:39.320 --> 00:55:42.480 So it was hard. 883 00:55:42.480 --> 00:55:44.560 And I can just share just what helped me. 884 00:55:44.560 --> 00:55:46.920 Again, it was going through that forgiveness 885 00:55:46.920 --> 00:55:50.160 and allowing the Lord to kind of reveal and heal me 886 00:55:50.160 --> 00:55:51.800 of some of those past relationships. 887 00:55:51.800 --> 00:55:54.560 And once that started working in my heart 888 00:55:54.560 --> 00:55:57.040 and the forgiveness was coming, it really 889 00:55:57.040 --> 00:55:58.680 did allow me to open up. 890 00:55:58.680 --> 00:56:03.400 And I saw the growth in myself through all of the guys 891 00:56:03.400 --> 00:56:07.280 that I was dating, even the guys that were not my spirit mate. 892 00:56:07.280 --> 00:56:10.040 God used them to show me how I was healing 893 00:56:10.040 --> 00:56:11.200 and how I was growing. 894 00:56:14.480 --> 00:56:18.400 So Michelle, your late husband checked many of the boxes 895 00:56:18.400 --> 00:56:21.120 and had bonuses. 896 00:56:21.120 --> 00:56:24.000 After two years of marriage, things changed. 897 00:56:24.000 --> 00:56:26.560 You were blindsided. 898 00:56:26.560 --> 00:56:29.120 Yes, yes. 899 00:56:29.120 --> 00:56:31.240 Being discouraged and leaning the dream of marriage. 900 00:56:31.240 --> 00:56:32.600 There's nothing going to happen. 901 00:56:32.600 --> 00:56:34.320 You feel like you've been waiting forever. 902 00:56:34.320 --> 00:56:35.200 I totally get it. 903 00:56:38.200 --> 00:56:39.000 Totally get it. 904 00:56:39.000 --> 00:56:42.280 Ladies, I just hope that after today's call, 905 00:56:42.280 --> 00:56:45.720 you really can start embracing what God's going to do. 906 00:56:45.720 --> 00:56:49.200 And just know there are hundreds in this movement 907 00:56:49.200 --> 00:56:51.560 and hundreds in this community. 908 00:56:51.560 --> 00:56:52.360 I've been there. 909 00:56:52.360 --> 00:56:53.200 I've seen it. 910 00:56:53.200 --> 00:56:54.800 I've seen it with my own eyes, ladies. 911 00:56:54.800 --> 00:56:55.920 I can even share. 912 00:56:55.920 --> 00:56:58.200 I was in this program for two years 913 00:56:58.200 --> 00:57:02.120 before God showed me my husband, before we met. 914 00:57:02.120 --> 00:57:05.280 And I don't want to say that to discourage you, 915 00:57:05.280 --> 00:57:07.400 but I saw I would get discouraged. 916 00:57:07.400 --> 00:57:10.080 I'm like, man, this woman just hopped into this program. 917 00:57:10.080 --> 00:57:14.160 And four months later, she's meeting the guy of her dreams. 918 00:57:14.160 --> 00:57:16.320 I'm like, why her? 919 00:57:16.320 --> 00:57:19.680 I'm sitting here, and I'm putting the work in, God. 920 00:57:19.680 --> 00:57:22.080 That was some area of growth in me 921 00:57:22.080 --> 00:57:25.480 that I had to work through, this idea. 922 00:57:25.480 --> 00:57:28.320 For me, it was more of this idea of work. 923 00:57:28.320 --> 00:57:29.800 I had to work to get my blessing, 924 00:57:29.800 --> 00:57:31.520 and that was not like God was showing me. 925 00:57:31.520 --> 00:57:33.760 I don't have to work to get my blessing. 926 00:57:33.760 --> 00:57:37.920 A blessing's already there, and it's me trusting in the Lord 927 00:57:37.920 --> 00:57:40.760 that He's got all of this in control. 928 00:57:40.760 --> 00:57:44.400 So I hope that kind of gives you some encouragement. 929 00:57:44.400 --> 00:57:47.120 Ladies, I do want to go ahead and let's 930 00:57:47.120 --> 00:57:49.280 do a quick breakout here. 931 00:57:49.280 --> 00:57:53.080 I'm going to post the questions in the chat. 932 00:57:53.080 --> 00:57:56.560 I'm going to break you all up into some small groups 933 00:57:56.560 --> 00:57:58.960 to get you all kind of maybe conversing with each other. 934 00:57:58.960 --> 00:58:00.600 And ladies, I really want to encourage 935 00:58:00.600 --> 00:58:05.400 you to be lifting each other up in these breakout rooms. 936 00:58:05.400 --> 00:58:09.600 We're going to just start really releasing some hope 937 00:58:09.600 --> 00:58:11.080 and some encouragement. 938 00:58:14.040 --> 00:58:18.200 I cannot tell you we understand sometimes the hopelessness 939 00:58:18.200 --> 00:58:21.640 and the discouragement, because all of us coaches, 940 00:58:21.880 --> 00:58:23.440 we've been there. 941 00:58:23.440 --> 00:58:27.240 We've had it, all right? 942 00:58:27.240 --> 00:58:29.560 Myself, Bethany. 943 00:58:29.560 --> 00:58:33.600 Bethany was in my group and my community, 944 00:58:33.600 --> 00:58:38.600 and we walked through some stuff together. 945 00:58:39.280 --> 00:58:42.040 And then now we're on the other side of it, 946 00:58:42.040 --> 00:58:44.840 and we can celebrate with each other 947 00:58:44.840 --> 00:58:48.080 and with this community what God has done. 948 00:58:48.080 --> 00:58:50.120 But it doesn't mean that we still don't have trials 949 00:58:50.120 --> 00:58:52.680 and tribulations, you know? 950 00:58:53.800 --> 00:58:56.720 We've grown into where we're at now, 951 00:58:56.720 --> 00:59:00.280 but guess what God was preparing us in that time 952 00:59:00.280 --> 00:59:01.560 as we step into marriage? 953 00:59:01.560 --> 00:59:02.800 Because ladies, let me tell you, 954 00:59:02.800 --> 00:59:06.560 like there's growth that happens in your marriage. 955 00:59:07.760 --> 00:59:10.840 There's some hard times that you'll experience 956 00:59:10.840 --> 00:59:12.080 with your spirit mate. 957 00:59:12.080 --> 00:59:12.920 Because let me tell you, 958 00:59:12.920 --> 00:59:15.800 the enemy wants to kill, steal, and destroy, 959 00:59:15.800 --> 00:59:17.520 especially when you get to your, 960 00:59:17.520 --> 00:59:20.040 you connect with your spirit mate. 961 00:59:20.840 --> 00:59:21.680 And those of you ladies 962 00:59:21.680 --> 00:59:24.080 that are gonna have blended families, 963 00:59:24.080 --> 00:59:26.080 there's gonna be some stuff. 964 00:59:26.080 --> 00:59:28.160 But what's great is that we have this community here 965 00:59:28.160 --> 00:59:30.400 to lean on and get the support from. 966 00:59:30.400 --> 00:59:32.080 We are here for you. 967 00:59:32.080 --> 00:59:37.080 We are fighting in prayer for you ladies. 968 00:59:37.480 --> 00:59:40.760 So let's just, we're gonna release some encouragement 969 00:59:40.760 --> 00:59:42.160 today on these breakout rooms. 970 00:59:42.160 --> 00:59:44.960 So write these questions down. 971 00:59:44.960 --> 00:59:48.080 I'm also gonna go ahead and copy and paste 972 00:59:48.120 --> 00:59:49.560 the questions in the chat. 973 00:59:49.560 --> 00:59:53.320 So the first question I want you ladies to cover is, 974 00:59:53.320 --> 00:59:56.720 where do you get most nervous or stuck in dating? 975 00:59:57.720 --> 00:59:59.600 So maybe it's messaging. 976 01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:07.200 men to begin with, or going from texting to getting that live video or that video call 977 01:00:07.200 --> 01:00:10.700 or that live in-person meetup. 978 01:00:10.700 --> 01:00:15.180 Maybe it's getting emotionally invested and kind of oversharing where you kind of get 979 01:00:15.180 --> 01:00:17.180 stuck. 980 01:00:17.180 --> 01:00:22.860 Or some of you, I know this was a big thing for me, was balancing discovery dating, level 981 01:00:22.860 --> 01:00:24.180 two dating with more than one guy. 982 01:00:24.180 --> 01:00:29.620 I oftentimes wanted to put all my eggs in one basket and then it led me to kind of overshare 983 01:00:29.860 --> 01:00:35.620 And then when they weren't interested in me, I was left just feeling like beaten and broken. 984 01:00:35.620 --> 01:00:39.420 I mean, I was tore up from the flora. 985 01:00:39.420 --> 01:00:43.940 You know, sometimes I'd go on first dates and I'd kiss a guy on the first date. 986 01:00:43.940 --> 01:00:46.820 And then I was like, well, why doesn't he like me? 987 01:00:46.820 --> 01:00:47.820 Why isn't he? 988 01:00:47.820 --> 01:00:54.260 You know, I did that, you know, and God had to teach me to put up a boundary there even. 989 01:00:54.260 --> 01:00:57.700 And I share this story and I know I share it probably every week. 990 01:00:57.780 --> 01:01:02.940 I know I think even Shelly was asking me about it last week, was my husband asking me on 991 01:01:02.940 --> 01:01:06.540 our first date and I told him no. 992 01:01:06.540 --> 01:01:12.580 So I had to put a boundary there and you know, not that I didn't want to kiss him, I did, 993 01:01:12.580 --> 01:01:17.940 but I knew what that was going to do to me if I did, because I didn't want to get my 994 01:01:17.940 --> 01:01:19.460 heart broken. 995 01:01:19.460 --> 01:01:25.180 If he wasn't my person, I needed to kind of just guard my heart there. 996 01:01:25.220 --> 01:01:28.060 So that's the first question. 997 01:01:28.060 --> 01:01:33.620 So I'm going to, when I pair you ladies off, take about 90 seconds to kind of share your 998 01:01:33.620 --> 01:01:42.140 response and then allow everybody in the chat or in the, in your group to respond and then 999 01:01:42.140 --> 01:01:47.980 move on to the second question, which I'm going to post here is I want you ladies talking 1000 01:01:47.980 --> 01:01:51.780 about your God defended list. 1001 01:01:51.780 --> 01:01:56.300 And so what's your God defended list, so what have you learned as part of your God 1002 01:01:56.300 --> 01:02:02.060 defended list and what you've learned to let go of in your self defended list, especially 1003 01:02:02.060 --> 01:02:04.100 in that level one or two. 1004 01:02:04.100 --> 01:02:05.100 Okay. 1005 01:02:05.100 --> 01:02:10.460 You'll hear Jackie oftentimes talking about when we have our own list and it's coming 1006 01:02:10.460 --> 01:02:13.980 from a self defended, like we have to protect ourselves. 1007 01:02:13.980 --> 01:02:19.500 We build these walls and you'll hear her say that the only person that will scale walls 1008 01:02:19.500 --> 01:02:20.500 are thieves. 1009 01:02:20.820 --> 01:02:24.980 So we don't want to create these walls in these huge ways that people can't get in to 1010 01:02:24.980 --> 01:02:26.380 get to know us better. 1011 01:02:26.380 --> 01:02:31.020 So we start building, we build those walls because we're trying to protect ourselves. 1012 01:02:31.020 --> 01:02:35.860 We have to remember, we don't have to protect ourselves because God is already protecting 1013 01:02:35.860 --> 01:02:36.860 us. 1014 01:02:36.860 --> 01:02:38.260 We have to trust him with that. 1015 01:02:38.260 --> 01:02:43.820 We have to, we have to lean on him giving us wisdom and discernment when we are in situations 1016 01:02:43.820 --> 01:02:48.020 that maybe we need to, you know, where he's showing us an area where like, Hey, I'm going 1017 01:02:48.020 --> 01:02:49.500 to protect you here. 1018 01:02:49.500 --> 01:02:51.820 I want you to partner with me in wisdom and discernment. 1019 01:02:51.820 --> 01:02:52.820 Okay. 1020 01:02:52.820 --> 01:02:53.820 Does that make sense? 1021 01:02:53.820 --> 01:02:54.820 Okay. 1022 01:02:54.820 --> 01:02:55.820 All right. 1023 01:02:55.820 --> 01:03:05.540 Before I break y'all out into these rooms, is there anyone that can not unmute and chat 1024 01:03:05.540 --> 01:03:09.700 with the women in your group? 1025 01:03:09.700 --> 01:03:10.700 Anybody? 1026 01:03:10.700 --> 01:03:13.700 I think everybody's good. 1027 01:03:13.700 --> 01:03:19.380 I know there were a few people said that they were at work, but they could still participate. 1028 01:03:19.380 --> 01:03:21.740 So let's see here. 1029 01:03:21.740 --> 01:03:30.500 I'm going to start breakout rooms and I'm going to go ahead and put two to three people 1030 01:03:30.500 --> 01:03:31.900 per room. 1031 01:03:31.900 --> 01:03:37.460 So remember 90 seconds to answer the first one question, let everybody in your group 1032 01:03:37.460 --> 01:03:43.020 respond and then let's go ahead and move into that second question. 1033 01:03:43.140 --> 01:03:49.220 So I'll give you probably between five and 10 minutes and probably in between there to 1034 01:03:49.220 --> 01:03:50.940 cover that. 1035 01:03:50.940 --> 01:03:56.140 And then we'll come back here and then I will open the floor up for y'all to ask your questions. 1036 01:03:56.140 --> 01:03:57.140 Cool. 1037 01:03:57.140 --> 01:04:01.260 All right. 1038 01:04:01.260 --> 01:04:02.260 Those rooms are open. 1039 01:04:02.260 --> 01:04:05.260 So go ahead and join. 1040 01:04:05.260 --> 01:04:07.260 Awesome. 1041 01:04:07.260 --> 01:04:09.260 Awesome. 1042 01:04:09.500 --> 01:04:11.500 Awesome. 1043 01:04:11.500 --> 01:04:13.500 Awesome. 1044 01:04:13.500 --> 01:04:15.500 Awesome. 1045 01:04:15.500 --> 01:04:17.500 Good. 1046 01:04:17.500 --> 01:04:19.500 Good. 1047 01:04:19.500 --> 01:04:21.500 Good. 1048 01:04:21.500 --> 01:04:23.500 Looks like everybody's going. 1049 01:04:23.500 --> 01:04:30.020 Michelle, are you able to jump into your room? 1050 01:04:30.020 --> 01:04:34.980 If not, I see Kelly S is in your room. 1051 01:04:34.980 --> 01:04:39.180 So I'm going to move her to somewhere else if you cannot join. 1052 01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:11.520 All right. So ladies, welcome back. Again, hopefully everybody got time to share answers 1053 01:05:11.520 --> 01:05:16.240 to those questions. I hope that y'all were able to lift each other up and give y'all 1054 01:05:16.240 --> 01:05:22.120 some encouragement and know that you're not alone in some of that discouragement, but 1055 01:05:22.120 --> 01:05:27.240 we're here to support and lift one another up. And if God's done it for others, he's 1056 01:05:27.240 --> 01:05:32.720 going to be able to do it to you. Okay. Do it for you as well. So now I'm just going 1057 01:05:32.720 --> 01:05:39.680 to open the floor. So if you want to ask any of your questions, maybe it's, um, you know, 1058 01:05:39.680 --> 01:05:43.040 something from the content that you've watched. Maybe it's something that I've talked about 1059 01:05:43.040 --> 01:05:50.560 here today. If you want to share your situation, maybe a dating experience that you're having. 1060 01:05:50.560 --> 01:05:54.040 Maybe you want to share just something that you are learning and it's a breakthrough and 1061 01:05:54.040 --> 01:05:58.800 you want, you know, want to celebrate with us here. So I'm going to open it up to you 1062 01:05:58.800 --> 01:06:05.600 ladies. So if you have a question, go ahead and just raise your avatar hands. I know I 1063 01:06:05.600 --> 01:06:14.680 usually have at least a couple. All right. Don't be shy. All right. I got one. Come on 1064 01:06:14.680 --> 01:06:20.480 ladies. This is your time here. Awesome. Thank you. This is your time here. Ladies. This 1065 01:06:20.480 --> 01:06:27.760 space too is where we really do get to help you. Um, don't want you ladies to take advantage 1066 01:06:27.760 --> 01:06:34.600 of it. It's good stuff. I know a lot of times when we share what we're experiencing, um, 1067 01:06:34.600 --> 01:06:39.200 it actually helps other women in the process because I assure you you're probably not the 1068 01:06:39.200 --> 01:06:46.440 only one that's running into some stuff. So don't be shy. This is a safe space ladies. 1069 01:06:46.440 --> 01:06:53.880 Like we really take heart into making sure that we are safe and protected here in this 1070 01:06:53.880 --> 01:07:00.760 community. So what, what you have to share here, it's not, it's not going to be, um, 1071 01:07:00.760 --> 01:07:05.920 shared other places. So, um, just here in our special little phase two group. Okay. 1072 01:07:05.920 --> 01:07:11.440 All right. So I'm gonna take Shelly then Elizabeth and then I see Michelle. You got some courage 1073 01:07:11.440 --> 01:07:18.120 to share too. So thank you. All right, Shelly, what do you got? Well, my first question is 1074 01:07:18.120 --> 01:07:24.600 a logistical question about the lighting because in the zoom picture of myself on there, it 1075 01:07:24.600 --> 01:07:30.000 looks like, like the lights in the ceiling are very bright. So how do you do the lighting 1076 01:07:30.000 --> 01:07:36.160 better? Okay. I actually think your lighting looks really good. Mine here. Cause I'm again, 1077 01:07:36.160 --> 01:07:44.000 I'm not at my house. I'm, I'm here in Napa. It's a little foggy. Um, so one thing is, 1078 01:07:44.000 --> 01:07:50.960 is what Renee is coached on even is having the light coming and facing you and not being 1079 01:07:50.960 --> 01:07:57.160 behind you. So I don't know if this will help because I wonder, cause it's just really dark 1080 01:07:57.160 --> 01:08:03.440 in here. Unfortunately, you guys had like a link for, um, one of the things to attach 1081 01:08:03.520 --> 01:08:08.560 to your phone for Amazon. So we're not wasting those ring lights. Yeah. Those ring lights, 1082 01:08:08.560 --> 01:08:12.160 those can go behind you, but you see how, if I have lights coming from behind me, 1083 01:08:12.880 --> 01:08:16.800 like what can happen? Like you can't even see my hand. Right. All right. So again, 1084 01:08:16.800 --> 01:08:23.279 you don't want the light behind you. You want it more in front of you. Okay. I can really, 1085 01:08:23.279 --> 01:08:28.720 so actually that's the, see how I, now I switched it in any other direction and it eliminates your 1086 01:08:28.720 --> 01:08:33.840 face some more. So even if you get those, like Ann Marie said, there's ring lights and stuff like 1087 01:08:33.840 --> 01:08:40.399 that that you can get on. I'm going to move this way just because it's really okay. Okay. I'll try 1088 01:08:40.399 --> 01:08:48.240 that. Michelle looks like she has good lighting. Her lighting looks good to me, but that was just a 1089 01:08:48.240 --> 01:08:56.000 Michelle. Michelle, do you have a light in front of you? Yes. It's called the sun. Oh, 1090 01:08:56.960 --> 01:09:05.840 exactly. I'm outside. I'm outside. Yeah. Natural light is always, to me it's being in a room with 1091 01:09:05.840 --> 01:09:09.920 windows where the window is in front of you and not behind you. Kind of like how I showed you a 1092 01:09:09.920 --> 01:09:13.840 moment ago when I switched it, you saw it because it was behind me. But when it's in front of you, 1093 01:09:13.840 --> 01:09:18.640 it's a lot better. Okay. So that was just the logistic thing I had. Then the second thing is 1094 01:09:18.640 --> 01:09:23.600 I'm not interested or have peace about online dating at this time. I've never done that. 1095 01:09:23.600 --> 01:09:29.279 I'm not feeling that. I'm open to if that feeling comes, but it's not here yet. 1096 01:09:30.640 --> 01:09:37.520 So I haven't done a profile yet and I haven't taken a headshot and a body shot and put it 1097 01:09:37.520 --> 01:09:42.560 anywhere it's supposed to go yet, but I'm hoping to do that this week. I asked a friend if she'd 1098 01:09:42.560 --> 01:09:48.399 take a picture. So I'm hoping to do that. So when we get to move to level three or to phase three, 1099 01:09:48.399 --> 01:09:52.800 which will be next week for me, what does that look like as far as, 1100 01:09:54.240 --> 01:09:59.040 will we just look at people's profiles? What does that look like? 1101 01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.960 three, it's we're not necessarily like you're not going to have access to other people's 1102 01:10:04.960 --> 01:10:10.080 profiles and things of that nature. Phase three is just more of a bigger community. 1103 01:10:10.080 --> 01:10:14.160 So it's all the people that are in our community that have gone through phase one and phase 1104 01:10:14.160 --> 01:10:19.680 two. So yes, it does include some of the men. And then you'll get invited. So like even 1105 01:10:19.680 --> 01:10:24.440 tonight, you're going to jump into like, if you have the ability to go into that eight 1106 01:10:24.440 --> 01:10:30.400 o'clock call, you're going to kind of see what we do in phase three, which is usually 1107 01:10:30.400 --> 01:10:37.680 one night a week, one or one night a week, one evening a month, sometimes two evenings 1108 01:10:37.680 --> 01:10:42.360 a month, I think, where people can jump into the love seat, but it's going to be a lot 1109 01:10:42.360 --> 01:10:49.500 bigger. So and I'll have to just confirm, there are times where men are on those community 1110 01:10:49.500 --> 01:10:56.140 calls and sometimes when they're not. So again, then we'll do these like single spotlights 1111 01:10:56.140 --> 01:11:01.620 where Jackie will have a guy or two on and they'll she'll spotlight them and ask them 1112 01:11:01.620 --> 01:11:07.540 questions and such. And I do know we've got that spirit mate match that is in the works 1113 01:11:07.540 --> 01:11:13.940 as well. Again, Jackie shared don't don't blast us with all the emails of all the questions 1114 01:11:13.940 --> 01:11:19.020 about spirit mate match. We will get that information out to you ladies in phase three 1115 01:11:19.020 --> 01:11:26.660 when it becomes available to us. So just keep that in mind. So if you have not felt 1116 01:11:26.660 --> 01:11:32.780 peace about online dating, that's totally, that's totally fine. Some people are not going 1117 01:11:32.780 --> 01:11:38.420 to be ready to do that. Again, it's giving yourself grace, allowing God to give you peace 1118 01:11:38.420 --> 01:11:42.980 about that. But that doesn't mean that you're not getting yourself out there. So Shelly, 1119 01:11:42.980 --> 01:11:49.820 let me ask you, if you're not doing online, what are some things that you've done to show 1120 01:11:49.820 --> 01:11:55.580 people that you're interested in? Or what have you stepped out in and done for yourself 1121 01:11:55.580 --> 01:12:01.020 to kind of get you out there? Well, at this point, I really, really just told my family 1122 01:12:01.020 --> 01:12:08.020 and friends like, I'm finally open to this. And so we've had some good laughs. And so 1123 01:12:08.020 --> 01:12:15.220 we've done that. I'm also not on social media. So it's not like I'm posting on social media. 1124 01:12:15.220 --> 01:12:20.180 So that's really all I've done at this point, except, you know, the normal things like, 1125 01:12:20.180 --> 01:12:24.620 but I'm a very relational person. So I'm always talking to people in the store and everywhere 1126 01:12:24.620 --> 01:12:31.220 I go. So I'm not hiding in that sense. I just sometimes think, Oh, do you have a sign that 1127 01:12:31.220 --> 01:12:36.100 on your head that says don't talk to me, I don't want to talk to you, if you're a guy. 1128 01:12:36.100 --> 01:12:40.260 So I laugh about that. But then I go back to the place where I'm like, the Lord already 1129 01:12:40.260 --> 01:12:45.700 has this figured out, I'm not gonna have to overthink it. And so when Danny first told 1130 01:12:45.700 --> 01:12:50.100 me about this program last fall, and I told her that, like, the Lord directs the steps 1131 01:12:50.100 --> 01:12:54.100 of a righteous man, I'm not gonna have to go search this guy down. She kind of laughed 1132 01:12:54.100 --> 01:13:00.060 at me like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm still a little bit hanging on to that mindset. 1133 01:13:00.060 --> 01:13:03.420 I'm gonna have to go like, search under every rock for him. 1134 01:13:04.700 --> 01:13:10.540 So it's not like you're gonna have to work hard to do it, right? Like, I that's, I see that. 1135 01:13:10.540 --> 01:13:15.420 But I do think, you know, God is just gonna start pressing on you, like ways that you can 1136 01:13:15.420 --> 01:13:21.420 get yourself out there, maybe a little bit more. So maybe it is joining an activity group or 1137 01:13:21.420 --> 01:13:25.980 volunteering, volunteering somewhere in your community. So maybe be praying about that, 1138 01:13:26.060 --> 01:13:31.340 like other opportunities and avenues of places you can go and ways to get in front of more 1139 01:13:31.340 --> 01:13:37.420 people where you can have that relational connection with people. Maybe it's even just, 1140 01:13:37.420 --> 01:13:43.420 I know, I'm a very like open book to like, I talked to a lot of people, that's just been 1141 01:13:43.420 --> 01:13:48.620 something that, you know, by the time I was an adult, like I was, I started stepping into that. 1142 01:13:48.620 --> 01:13:53.260 So sometimes it's just going, like maybe going out to eat to print it with like Panera and 1143 01:13:53.260 --> 01:13:57.980 striking up a conversation with someone and just getting in front of more people. So 1144 01:13:57.980 --> 01:14:04.300 depressing the Lord, like reveal to you ways that you can get out and do that. And maybe step a 1145 01:14:04.300 --> 01:14:09.340 little bit out of your comfort zone. That's not like you have to go like, dive and things like 1146 01:14:09.340 --> 01:14:15.100 that. That's what I would encourage is just finding ways to get in front of more people, 1147 01:14:15.100 --> 01:14:21.020 you know, going to new places that maybe you haven't visited before. And doing that. Does 1148 01:14:21.020 --> 01:14:27.340 that help? It does. Thank you. Good. Awesome. Well, thank you so much for asking your question. 1149 01:14:27.340 --> 01:14:32.300 All right. I've got L is that and then I know Michelle, you took your avatar hand down, 1150 01:14:32.300 --> 01:14:36.860 but I'm guessing you still have your question. Awesome. Okay. And then I'll move on to Sarah. 1151 01:14:36.860 --> 01:14:42.620 So L is that what do you got? Okay, so I don't think it's actually a question. I just want to 1152 01:14:42.700 --> 01:14:51.420 say so I think I kind of messed up. I went on a date with the guy. He was nice. And he asked me 1153 01:14:51.420 --> 01:14:59.260 for another one on. So the one was on Saturday. The other one was on Sunday. And I told my ladies 1154 01:14:59.260 --> 01:14:59.740 in the group. 1155 01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:08.960 that I'm a very nervous person and I just wanted to run away the whole time and I didn't text him 1156 01:15:08.960 --> 01:15:14.640 back and didn't tell him that I actually had a great time and I'm just a very nervous person. 1157 01:15:14.640 --> 01:15:22.080 First dates makes me so nervous and um yeah so I think I kind of messed up um and I don't know how 1158 01:15:22.080 --> 01:15:28.160 to fix this. So this was this current Saturday and Sunday so you had two different dates with 1159 01:15:28.160 --> 01:15:33.760 two different people? No, two different days with one person. With the same person so you 1160 01:15:33.760 --> 01:15:40.880 went out on Saturday, you went out on Sunday, um you enjoyed yourself? Minus the nervousness? 1161 01:15:42.080 --> 01:15:48.880 I kind of did. He asked a lot of questions and was really nice and um yeah so there was nothing 1162 01:15:49.440 --> 01:15:56.960 really wrong with him. I just like I told the ladies in my group I started to beat myself up 1163 01:15:56.960 --> 01:16:08.160 for not feeling like better or more towards him um yeah. I totally get it because so ladies like 1164 01:16:08.160 --> 01:16:14.960 this we all go through this and men go through this too like it's that you're just getting to 1165 01:16:14.960 --> 01:16:20.320 know somebody like it's sometimes it's awkward right you don't know what to talk about you're 1166 01:16:20.320 --> 01:16:27.840 not sure of all of that stuff so you know give yourself grace. Can I ask you like what I think 1167 01:16:27.840 --> 01:16:33.200 we talked about this last week that you know you you deal with a little bit of anxiety and nerves 1168 01:16:33.200 --> 01:16:39.200 and I think I pressed you to kind of go to the Lord with some of that and and asking what like 1169 01:16:39.200 --> 01:16:46.400 where maybe this first surfaced and be like started and I think you even shared with me 1170 01:16:46.480 --> 01:16:53.440 it like when you were a kid and in school and needing to be right um and so have you taken 1171 01:16:53.440 --> 01:17:00.000 some time to kind of pray with God and ask him to reveal those and maybe um share with you areas 1172 01:17:00.000 --> 01:17:04.480 that maybe there's some healing that needs to take place so that you're not beating yourself 1173 01:17:04.480 --> 01:17:13.520 up to having to be this like perfect or on all the time sometimes go ahead um there there were 1174 01:17:13.520 --> 01:17:21.120 some things that happened in school um especially uh yeah he revealed to me um some things with 1175 01:17:21.120 --> 01:17:28.080 the boys that I went to school with so the memories that just came up was when I had to 1176 01:17:28.080 --> 01:17:37.600 stand in front of the class and to and I don't know what you call it an oral exam yeah so I was 1177 01:17:37.600 --> 01:17:44.160 I just remember doing funny stuff and not getting all my words out and all I can remember is 1178 01:17:45.040 --> 01:17:53.040 the faces of the boys laughing and I never actually finished my orals ever 1179 01:17:54.080 --> 01:17:59.840 because of this nervousness and because of the laughing and I even remember one 1180 01:18:00.800 --> 01:18:08.720 one boy said that he liked me I just mustn't be so shy like I'm too shy 1181 01:18:10.080 --> 01:18:16.080 and those are the things that came up and yeah those are just some of the things that came up 1182 01:18:17.120 --> 01:18:23.600 gotcha have you been able to work through some of those heart work tools that we teach you in 1183 01:18:23.600 --> 01:18:29.120 phase one to kind of navigate that because I wonder if that could possibly be what you're 1184 01:18:29.360 --> 01:18:35.600 experiencing now on these dates with men is that you know that uncomfortableness of are they going 1185 01:18:35.600 --> 01:18:42.800 to like me am I being too shy and in this maybe even I know what's bringing what's kind of being 1186 01:18:42.800 --> 01:18:49.520 brought up to me and something that I can just kind of relate and share is my my identity and 1187 01:18:49.520 --> 01:18:58.000 my worth and knowing like I had I really had to work through a lot of that because I was very 1188 01:18:58.080 --> 01:19:07.360 insecure about you know how people saw me how men saw me and and realizing and trusting God to kind 1189 01:19:07.360 --> 01:19:16.560 of walk through with me how he saw me and start trusting to look at myself the way that God 1190 01:19:17.360 --> 01:19:25.280 looked at me and so and then in that process you know him taking me through some of the dating 1191 01:19:25.280 --> 01:19:35.920 pieces where he was showing me how I could let go of those like insecurities in my interactions 1192 01:19:35.920 --> 01:19:41.200 and dates with people so when you went on this date with him on Saturday and Sunday 1193 01:19:41.840 --> 01:19:50.720 like when did you start feeling very uncertain was it questions he was asking and how you were 1194 01:19:50.720 --> 01:19:58.320 nervous about how you responded was it certain questions that he asked was it I mean let's start 1195 01:19:58.320 --> 01:20:00.000 breaking that down and seeing 1196 01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:03.200 seeing if what that looks like. 1197 01:20:05.000 --> 01:20:07.080 So what, go ahead. 1198 01:20:07.080 --> 01:20:07.920 Sorry. 1199 01:20:12.240 --> 01:20:14.520 So what I revealed in my group 1200 01:20:14.520 --> 01:20:17.520 is that I constantly have this fear 1201 01:20:17.520 --> 01:20:20.700 that I'm gonna say something stupid and embarrass myself. 1202 01:20:22.280 --> 01:20:27.280 So as we went on and talked and talked, 1203 01:20:27.480 --> 01:20:31.680 I just, you know, I got more nervous 1204 01:20:31.680 --> 01:20:33.800 because I'm actually not English, 1205 01:20:33.800 --> 01:20:36.960 as most of you can probably hear. 1206 01:20:36.960 --> 01:20:40.440 And this guy is actually English. 1207 01:20:40.440 --> 01:20:43.560 So it's difficult for me to sometimes express myself 1208 01:20:43.560 --> 01:20:46.320 in the English language. 1209 01:20:46.320 --> 01:20:50.000 And so I'm just constantly nervous 1210 01:20:50.000 --> 01:20:51.680 about saying something stupid. 1211 01:20:51.680 --> 01:20:56.280 And then this guy would think I'm like this weird girl 1212 01:20:56.280 --> 01:20:57.720 and walk away from me. 1213 01:21:00.720 --> 01:21:01.560 Yes. 1214 01:21:01.560 --> 01:21:05.280 So I can totally, I totally get that, 100%. 1215 01:21:05.280 --> 01:21:06.320 But one thing that, you know, 1216 01:21:06.320 --> 01:21:09.000 God just really put on my heart to share with you, 1217 01:21:09.000 --> 01:21:11.120 and I hope that this blesses you 1218 01:21:11.120 --> 01:21:13.280 and gives you encouragement, 1219 01:21:13.280 --> 01:21:18.280 is your spirit mate is gonna just adore you and love you 1220 01:21:19.240 --> 01:21:24.240 and just, there's nothing that you're going to do 1221 01:21:25.080 --> 01:21:29.120 that's going to make him not be attracted 1222 01:21:29.120 --> 01:21:31.360 and just drawn to you. 1223 01:21:31.360 --> 01:21:35.240 I can't tell you how many times in my marriage I have, 1224 01:21:35.240 --> 01:21:37.800 and even like when I was with my husband 1225 01:21:37.800 --> 01:21:39.520 before we got married, 1226 01:21:39.520 --> 01:21:43.600 some of the crazy, like ridiculous things I've done 1227 01:21:43.600 --> 01:21:46.240 or said, or even some of the things 1228 01:21:46.240 --> 01:21:49.960 that I have to work on in myself that, you know, 1229 01:21:49.960 --> 01:21:52.800 the Lord needs to kind of work with me on. 1230 01:21:52.800 --> 01:21:53.640 Because let me tell you, 1231 01:21:53.640 --> 01:21:58.200 there's parts of my personality that are just not pretty. 1232 01:21:58.200 --> 01:21:59.040 All right. 1233 01:21:59.040 --> 01:22:01.920 Because God's having to grow me and like humble me 1234 01:22:01.920 --> 01:22:05.400 and mature me in the season that I'm in. 1235 01:22:05.400 --> 01:22:07.720 I mean, there's so many things. 1236 01:22:07.720 --> 01:22:09.480 And there are times where I have, 1237 01:22:09.480 --> 01:22:11.960 even in my marriage, been like, 1238 01:22:11.960 --> 01:22:15.520 my husband is not gonna, you know, love me the same. 1239 01:22:15.520 --> 01:22:17.720 He's gonna look at me differently. 1240 01:22:17.720 --> 01:22:21.320 And when I've allowed myself to share that with my husband 1241 01:22:21.320 --> 01:22:23.640 and open up and communicate to him 1242 01:22:23.640 --> 01:22:27.280 some of my concerns or my fears, 1243 01:22:27.280 --> 01:22:29.520 he's been able to come in and rest, 1244 01:22:29.520 --> 01:22:32.200 like help me rest in it. 1245 01:22:32.200 --> 01:22:35.800 So, you know, now again, I'm not saying like, you know, 1246 01:22:35.800 --> 01:22:38.720 when you're first dating someone in those couple of dates, 1247 01:22:38.720 --> 01:22:43.160 you know, you're not gonna just dump all of the past, 1248 01:22:43.160 --> 01:22:44.840 like this is what I've experienced 1249 01:22:44.840 --> 01:22:45.840 and all that kind of stuff. 1250 01:22:45.840 --> 01:22:50.840 But I do think it's okay for you to express yourself 1251 01:22:50.840 --> 01:22:54.480 to this guy and like, oh my goodness, I'm really nervous. 1252 01:22:54.480 --> 01:22:56.200 You know, I know that, you know, 1253 01:22:56.200 --> 01:22:57.920 my English is not that great. 1254 01:22:57.920 --> 01:22:59.720 So I'm a little concerned that, you know, 1255 01:22:59.720 --> 01:23:02.880 maybe it's gonna be awkward or anything like that. 1256 01:23:02.880 --> 01:23:05.800 And like, it's just communicating 1257 01:23:05.800 --> 01:23:09.840 and allowing that man to step into his masculine 1258 01:23:09.840 --> 01:23:14.840 and just protect and know that you can rest 1259 01:23:14.920 --> 01:23:17.720 and that man is going to keep you safe. 1260 01:23:17.760 --> 01:23:22.760 Like that, a masculine man, his divine, 1261 01:23:23.400 --> 01:23:28.400 like the divine masculine is to keep you safe and protected. 1262 01:23:28.400 --> 01:23:30.080 When we step into marriage, 1263 01:23:30.080 --> 01:23:33.800 it is a husband is a covering over you. 1264 01:23:33.800 --> 01:23:36.320 He covers you and covers your children 1265 01:23:36.320 --> 01:23:37.760 as you cover your children. 1266 01:23:37.760 --> 01:23:40.480 It's just, it's the divine, 1267 01:23:40.480 --> 01:23:43.680 like how God's created man and wife 1268 01:23:43.680 --> 01:23:46.280 and what each person's roles are. 1269 01:23:46.280 --> 01:23:49.920 So that was something that I even experienced 1270 01:23:49.920 --> 01:23:53.320 when my husband and I were dating and he was courting me 1271 01:23:53.320 --> 01:23:58.120 is when I put boundaries up or I communicated with him 1272 01:23:58.120 --> 01:24:01.640 in areas that maybe I was uncertain or unsure, 1273 01:24:02.640 --> 01:24:07.040 he came and respected those boundaries. 1274 01:24:07.040 --> 01:24:10.240 He allowed me to feel safe and protected. 1275 01:24:11.120 --> 01:24:13.480 You know, one thing that even my husband does now 1276 01:24:13.480 --> 01:24:15.600 is when we're walking down the street, 1277 01:24:15.640 --> 01:24:19.160 he shifts himself to the outside of the street 1278 01:24:19.160 --> 01:24:20.640 and I walk on the inside. 1279 01:24:21.800 --> 01:24:24.880 Like, it's just a natural thing. 1280 01:24:24.880 --> 01:24:26.640 So I would, again, like, 1281 01:24:28.360 --> 01:24:30.960 so you had the date Saturday and Sunday, 1282 01:24:30.960 --> 01:24:33.720 it's Tuesday now, you haven't communicated 1283 01:24:33.720 --> 01:24:35.520 to him since Sunday? 1284 01:24:36.600 --> 01:24:40.040 It's okay, reach out to him. 1285 01:24:40.040 --> 01:24:41.480 You can even just open up like, 1286 01:24:41.480 --> 01:24:44.080 look, I really had a great time on our date 1287 01:24:44.080 --> 01:24:45.040 Saturday and Sunday. 1288 01:24:45.440 --> 01:24:48.720 I apologize if I've seemed a little distant. 1289 01:24:48.720 --> 01:24:52.280 I'm still just learning to get over the awkwards 1290 01:24:52.280 --> 01:24:56.640 of like dating, you know, getting to know someone. 1291 01:24:56.640 --> 01:25:00.000 So I hope that you can understand that I'm. 1292 01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:04.240 learning how to navigate this and, you know, just understand 1293 01:25:04.240 --> 01:25:08.580 that I am interested in getting to know you more. And have a 1294 01:25:08.580 --> 01:25:12.800 little grace with me if you if you will, and, and see where 1295 01:25:12.800 --> 01:25:17.520 that goes. Because if he is a good man who is interested in 1296 01:25:17.520 --> 01:25:21.720 you, he's going to nurture and protect that. And if he's not, 1297 01:25:22.200 --> 01:25:27.200 then it's God revealing to you that, hey, this isn't your guy. 1298 01:25:27.200 --> 01:25:32.880 But look, you just grew and you upgraded yourself. And you've 1299 01:25:32.880 --> 01:25:37.000 gotten practice and you've learned a new tool. And 1300 01:25:37.000 --> 01:25:39.920 hopefully that can help you overcome some of maybe the 1301 01:25:39.920 --> 01:25:44.040 insecurity and the discomfort that you feel with getting to 1302 01:25:44.040 --> 01:25:47.280 know someone in the very beginning. Because I would I 1303 01:25:47.280 --> 01:25:49.640 would rest assure that there's probably other women on this 1304 01:25:49.640 --> 01:25:52.000 call or that's going to listen in a replay that they are going 1305 01:25:52.000 --> 01:25:56.960 to relate to you 100%. And you you come in here and sharing 1306 01:25:56.960 --> 01:26:01.800 that is going to help someone else. And I bet to believe that 1307 01:26:01.840 --> 01:26:04.400 there's going to be some other women in the apps are going to 1308 01:26:04.400 --> 01:26:06.400 be able to be like, Oh, my goodness, thank you so much for 1309 01:26:06.400 --> 01:26:09.320 sharing. And y'all are going to be able to come in and lift each 1310 01:26:09.320 --> 01:26:14.720 other up and support each other in that. Well, thank you. You 1311 01:26:14.720 --> 01:26:18.560 are welcome. Thank you so much for just being so real and 1312 01:26:18.560 --> 01:26:24.760 honest with us here. Ladies, I can't tell you just how good and 1313 01:26:24.760 --> 01:26:28.240 helpful it is when we do that. All right, Michelle, I'm going 1314 01:26:28.240 --> 01:26:30.880 to jump to you, then I'm going to jump to Sarah. And then I see 1315 01:26:31.120 --> 01:26:34.000 Leslie, you posted something in the chat. So I'm going to read 1316 01:26:34.000 --> 01:26:37.880 through that after these two ladies go. And then ladies, if 1317 01:26:37.880 --> 01:26:45.360 you have another question, then throw your avatar hand up so 1318 01:26:45.360 --> 01:26:48.480 that I know. All right, Michelle, what did you want to 1319 01:26:48.480 --> 01:26:49.200 share with us? 1320 01:26:49.920 --> 01:26:55.120 Well, I think I'm stuck in this place of not wanting to waste 1321 01:26:55.120 --> 01:27:01.920 time, communicating in level one and level two, with guys, and 1322 01:27:01.920 --> 01:27:08.240 then find out, put a lot invest and then find out that, you 1323 01:27:08.240 --> 01:27:11.840 know, location is a non negotiable, like they won't 1324 01:27:11.840 --> 01:27:16.320 move. I just built a house I'm moving in in October, not not 1325 01:27:16.320 --> 01:27:20.280 saying I wouldn't give it up. But let's say they're absolutely 1326 01:27:20.280 --> 01:27:23.720 don't want to move. You know, and then I go, okay, I invested 1327 01:27:23.760 --> 01:27:27.200 all of this. And and it's like, it's not really going to go 1328 01:27:27.200 --> 01:27:31.920 anywhere. And the other piece is, spiritually, you know, are 1329 01:27:31.920 --> 01:27:37.600 they mature, Christian, masculine male. And I don't know 1330 01:27:37.600 --> 01:27:40.560 how to really determine that without having more level three 1331 01:27:40.560 --> 01:27:46.080 conversations. So that's my big thing is right now I'm 1332 01:27:46.080 --> 01:27:49.120 communicating with three different guys. Okay, I have no 1333 01:27:49.120 --> 01:27:52.520 information on this. And I feel like this could be just a 1334 01:27:52.520 --> 01:27:54.080 colossal waste of my time. 1335 01:27:54.880 --> 01:28:00.200 Okay, I totally I totally get that. And I think a lot of women 1336 01:28:00.200 --> 01:28:05.120 in this community have felt and experienced some of this, the 1337 01:28:05.120 --> 01:28:10.280 same thing that you're experiencing. So to address the 1338 01:28:10.320 --> 01:28:14.520 location part. So when you're meeting people online, you're 1339 01:28:14.520 --> 01:28:18.920 probably going to know fairly quickly where they're where they 1340 01:28:18.920 --> 01:28:25.200 live, right? All right. So if you notice that they are far 1341 01:28:25.200 --> 01:28:34.240 away, we definitely encourage to try to get a face to face video 1342 01:28:34.240 --> 01:28:37.480 and then an in person within six weeks. Now I know you're 1343 01:28:37.480 --> 01:28:42.200 thinking six weeks. That's a lot, right? So I see it. Yes, 1344 01:28:42.280 --> 01:28:45.240 totally get it. So but again, like when you are dating 1345 01:28:45.240 --> 01:28:47.360 multiple people, and you're getting to know more people, 1346 01:28:47.360 --> 01:28:51.480 just trust the process of it. And you're going to know fairly 1347 01:28:51.480 --> 01:28:55.240 quickly, especially when they're long distance, are, are they 1348 01:28:55.240 --> 01:28:58.720 going to be willing to move? So that may be one of those 1349 01:28:58.720 --> 01:29:02.320 questions of, hey, I noticed that we're in two different 1350 01:29:02.320 --> 01:29:06.200 places. I want to get to know you better. You know, I find 1351 01:29:06.200 --> 01:29:09.280 that we have some things in common. You know, let me ask, 1352 01:29:09.280 --> 01:29:14.000 like, what's your thoughts on relocating? Have you ever 1353 01:29:14.000 --> 01:29:17.840 thought about that? I don't think that that is a question 1354 01:29:17.840 --> 01:29:22.560 that you can't ask early on, especially when you realize that 1355 01:29:22.560 --> 01:29:26.520 they're not close in proximity. That happened with my husband 1356 01:29:26.520 --> 01:29:31.680 and I. So the first time that we connected, when I thought he 1357 01:29:31.680 --> 01:29:35.240 lived like an hour away from me, and he's like, No, I'm in Texas. 1358 01:29:35.680 --> 01:29:38.360 And he was even like, Look, I understand if you don't want to 1359 01:29:38.360 --> 01:29:42.080 continue to get to know me, if that's not an option for you. 1360 01:29:43.120 --> 01:29:47.920 And that's when I made a choice to say, you know what, I'm okay 1361 01:29:47.920 --> 01:29:51.920 investing a little bit more time, because I am, I realized 1362 01:29:51.920 --> 01:29:57.040 God's pressing me to be open to that possibility. Now, I hadn't 1363 01:29:57.040 --> 01:30:00.040 decided whether or not I was going to move. I was 1364 01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:08.160 open to the possibility. So that's why I could continue to get to know him. So just know like 1365 01:30:08.160 --> 01:30:15.280 you're not asking someone, will you move for me? But hey, what are your thoughts on relocating? 1366 01:30:15.280 --> 01:30:19.920 Because the guy might, might tell you, you know, I really don't want to move, but you know what, 1367 01:30:19.920 --> 01:30:26.720 if God wants it, then I'm willing to do it. You know, and that might help you even with that 1368 01:30:26.720 --> 01:30:32.480 faith piece of like learning a little bit more about his relationship with God. So ways that 1369 01:30:32.480 --> 01:30:40.720 Renee has coached you ladies in this group, and I love what she shares, is learning to ask certain 1370 01:30:40.720 --> 01:30:49.280 questions that would allow for that, that to be opened up. But we also encourage you not to shut 1371 01:30:49.280 --> 01:30:56.720 the door in the very, very beginning stages. In those first two or three dates, if a guy 1372 01:30:57.360 --> 01:31:04.080 is not opening up about his faith right away. So it's sometimes being like, you know, tell me what 1373 01:31:04.080 --> 01:31:11.200 are things in your life that are your passions right now? Like what, what takes up your time 1374 01:31:11.200 --> 01:31:16.640 currently? And so for some people who have a strong relationship with God, they're going to 1375 01:31:16.640 --> 01:31:22.480 share about that. I was like that, but I also knew that not everyone is like that is going to 1376 01:31:22.480 --> 01:31:27.760 always open up about their intimate relationship with the Lord. Some of those people might be a 1377 01:31:27.760 --> 01:31:31.760 little bit more private and they're going to want to get to know you a little bit more before you, 1378 01:31:31.760 --> 01:31:37.680 they allow you into that part of their life. But as you start talking and communicating with one 1379 01:31:37.680 --> 01:31:45.760 another, you can start just like opening that up. So even asking, so I noticed that you share that 1380 01:31:45.760 --> 01:31:50.800 you're a Christian, can you on your site or on your profile, can you share a little bit more 1381 01:31:51.680 --> 01:31:58.160 about that? Like what's that look like for you or, you know, certain questions that kind of, 1382 01:31:58.160 --> 01:32:03.040 again, you're not interrogating them, but it allows them that opportunity to share a little 1383 01:32:03.040 --> 01:32:11.280 bit more. And here's like for me, when then I would ask those questions, guys would then respond 1384 01:32:11.280 --> 01:32:16.480 and ask me the same question. And then I could open up with what I was willing to share, 1385 01:32:17.120 --> 01:32:23.680 not going overshare and deep diving and sharing like all of the, you know, my testimony of how I, 1386 01:32:23.680 --> 01:32:29.360 how I came to know Jesus and the hard times that I went and why it got me there. I'm not going there, 1387 01:32:29.360 --> 01:32:35.600 but I'm talking about just that high level of, you know, I've learned over the years that my 1388 01:32:35.680 --> 01:32:41.120 intimate relationship with the Lord is so important. And I really just, you know, my special 1389 01:32:41.120 --> 01:32:46.880 time is in this community that I'm in and we get to share about, you know, God and I get to pour 1390 01:32:46.880 --> 01:32:54.000 into other people. So anything of that nature, like I, my favorite thing to do on the weekends 1391 01:32:54.000 --> 01:32:58.800 is the volunteer work that I do at my church. And this is why it's a passion of mine. Again, 1392 01:32:58.800 --> 01:33:04.000 it's that surface like high level surface stuff. Right. So it's kind of like what you would share 1393 01:33:04.000 --> 01:33:11.520 in an interview highlight of what's important to you and why it's important. So once you start 1394 01:33:11.520 --> 01:33:18.320 opening up that way, then sometimes men can come in and kind of share what their faith walk looks 1395 01:33:18.320 --> 01:33:28.400 like for them. So I get it. I 100% again, because ladies, you want to be in relationship with men 1396 01:33:28.400 --> 01:33:33.920 that have a connection with the Lord, that's going to be important. 1397 01:33:35.440 --> 01:33:41.440 So I'm not saying don't ask those questions. We just want to make sure that you're pacing those 1398 01:33:41.440 --> 01:33:48.480 questions. So go ahead. I'll spend things. So if you find out, you know, like, where do you spend 1399 01:33:48.480 --> 01:33:54.160 your time or what does it look like to you to be a Christian? I do ask that question. And if they 1400 01:33:54.160 --> 01:34:00.960 come back with, well, you know, I used to go to church as a, you know, I was in a church growing 1401 01:34:00.960 --> 01:34:06.720 up, but I really haven't pursued that. I mean, there's your answer, right? So can you end the 1402 01:34:06.720 --> 01:34:10.480 relationship then? I mean, can you just say, well, I don't think we're compatible. 1403 01:34:11.440 --> 01:34:17.600 I would encourage for at least a date or two. You still would. You're, you're just working 1404 01:34:17.600 --> 01:34:25.520 through a muscle of like, practicing the dating and getting to know somebody. And then, you know, 1405 01:34:25.520 --> 01:34:30.000 you might learn a little bit more, but again, like maybe after one or two dates, and you're like, 1406 01:34:30.560 --> 01:34:35.360 this is a really big piece for me. And then that's when you can say, you know, I really appreciate 1407 01:34:35.360 --> 01:34:41.280 you taking time to get to know me. I've enjoyed our date or two, but I don't see this going 1408 01:34:41.840 --> 01:34:47.360 in a romantic way. So I appreciate your time and I wish you the best of luck. 1409 01:34:47.360 --> 01:34:51.120 But at least you've allowed yourself to kind of practice that dating muscle, 1410 01:34:51.680 --> 01:34:55.360 get to know some guys. Cause again, you just never know, you know, 1411 01:34:55.360 --> 01:34:59.840 they might be a little closed off or unsure of sharing what their faith is. 1412 01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:05.000 experiences and you never know like what can happen. 1413 01:35:05.600 --> 01:35:07.680 So one thing that Jackie shares is, 1414 01:35:07.680 --> 01:35:10.360 it's not about where a guy's been, 1415 01:35:10.360 --> 01:35:12.000 but it's where they're going. 1416 01:35:12.000 --> 01:35:13.880 So just because the guy is saying like, 1417 01:35:13.880 --> 01:35:16.320 you know what, I don't really go to church, 1418 01:35:16.320 --> 01:35:18.280 you know, I'm really, you know, 1419 01:35:18.280 --> 01:35:20.280 but maybe they're hungry for it. 1420 01:35:21.400 --> 01:35:23.880 Maybe they do truly have a desire 1421 01:35:23.880 --> 01:35:28.880 and maybe that can come, it will unfold in a date or two. 1422 01:35:29.680 --> 01:35:34.680 And then they're young, they're young in their faith. 1423 01:35:35.360 --> 01:35:38.720 I've been a Christian 40 years and I've been a leader. 1424 01:35:38.720 --> 01:35:43.200 And that to me is, how is he gonna lead me? 1425 01:35:43.200 --> 01:35:44.760 You know, so I, at that point, 1426 01:35:44.760 --> 01:35:46.760 I feel like I still already know. 1427 01:35:46.760 --> 01:35:48.800 And then to go on another date or two, 1428 01:35:48.800 --> 01:35:52.640 to me is investing and wasting time. 1429 01:35:52.640 --> 01:35:55.360 Honestly, I just don't want to do it. 1430 01:35:55.360 --> 01:36:00.360 So again, like if you are there and if you've taken this, 1431 01:36:01.520 --> 01:36:05.600 if you have taken this to the Lord, again, 1432 01:36:05.600 --> 01:36:07.880 so this is a good opportunity for you 1433 01:36:07.880 --> 01:36:11.320 to really get vulnerable with the Lord and asking the Lord, 1434 01:36:11.320 --> 01:36:16.320 look, I need a God defended list and a self defended list. 1435 01:36:16.560 --> 01:36:19.520 All right, really take that kind of stuff to the Lord 1436 01:36:19.520 --> 01:36:21.240 because here's the thing I will know, 1437 01:36:21.240 --> 01:36:24.440 like I know with, and I'm sure Bethany 1438 01:36:24.440 --> 01:36:26.280 and Renee can attest to this as well. 1439 01:36:26.280 --> 01:36:29.120 Like, you know, Renee is in ministry, 1440 01:36:29.120 --> 01:36:31.840 like ministry school, right? 1441 01:36:31.840 --> 01:36:33.600 That's a big part of her life. 1442 01:36:33.600 --> 01:36:36.240 Bethany, for her, she just, 1443 01:36:36.240 --> 01:36:39.360 she has an anointing for ministry as well. 1444 01:36:39.360 --> 01:36:42.400 And those were very important. 1445 01:36:42.400 --> 01:36:44.640 That was a God defended list. 1446 01:36:44.640 --> 01:36:47.280 That when you know that your purpose 1447 01:36:47.280 --> 01:36:51.800 and your divine assignment is going to be linked to that, 1448 01:36:51.840 --> 01:36:54.760 you're gonna need someone that's gonna match that. 1449 01:36:54.760 --> 01:36:55.600 Right. 1450 01:36:55.600 --> 01:36:57.520 So it's taking that stuff to God 1451 01:36:57.520 --> 01:37:01.600 and really asking for him to partner with you in that 1452 01:37:01.600 --> 01:37:05.480 and asking him to walk alongside you in this. 1453 01:37:05.480 --> 01:37:08.680 So that's what I will leave you with that is just, 1454 01:37:08.680 --> 01:37:12.960 you know, really take that in prayer and ask, 1455 01:37:12.960 --> 01:37:14.920 you know, Lord, this is important to me. 1456 01:37:14.920 --> 01:37:16.520 And if it is something for you, 1457 01:37:16.520 --> 01:37:19.160 I want you to start clarifying to me 1458 01:37:19.160 --> 01:37:21.200 when I need to say, you know, no, thank you. 1459 01:37:21.600 --> 01:37:23.640 And when I need to press forward. 1460 01:37:23.640 --> 01:37:25.240 Because again, we don't want you ladies 1461 01:37:25.240 --> 01:37:27.560 just like shutting the door. 1462 01:37:27.560 --> 01:37:31.120 But at the same time, if you really do truly feel like, 1463 01:37:31.120 --> 01:37:33.560 no, God has shown me this, 1464 01:37:33.560 --> 01:37:37.280 then again, I mean, we're gonna partner with you. 1465 01:37:37.280 --> 01:37:38.880 All right. 1466 01:37:38.880 --> 01:37:40.320 So hopefully that's helped. 1467 01:37:40.320 --> 01:37:41.160 Yeah. 1468 01:37:42.280 --> 01:37:44.800 Because I do, I know, like I know there's just certain, 1469 01:37:44.800 --> 01:37:46.400 like they have a ministry, 1470 01:37:46.400 --> 01:37:48.560 like they have ministry in their life. 1471 01:37:48.560 --> 01:37:49.840 It's in their purpose. 1472 01:37:49.840 --> 01:37:52.080 So they do need to make sure that their husband 1473 01:37:52.080 --> 01:37:54.000 is walking alongside them. 1474 01:37:54.000 --> 01:37:55.000 Right. 1475 01:37:55.000 --> 01:37:56.720 So important. 1476 01:37:56.720 --> 01:37:57.840 Okay. 1477 01:37:57.840 --> 01:37:59.720 I can relate so much to Michelle. 1478 01:37:59.720 --> 01:38:01.760 You know, I was married to a man 1479 01:38:01.760 --> 01:38:03.520 that I thought it was enough that he believed in God 1480 01:38:03.520 --> 01:38:04.360 and was a Catholic. 1481 01:38:04.360 --> 01:38:06.920 And I was a single parent long before I ever, 1482 01:38:06.920 --> 01:38:07.840 you know, became one. 1483 01:38:07.840 --> 01:38:10.760 And then years and years of emotionally investing 1484 01:38:10.760 --> 01:38:13.600 into men that would have Christian on their profile, 1485 01:38:13.600 --> 01:38:15.800 but their walk doesn't match their talk. 1486 01:38:15.800 --> 01:38:17.200 Their behavior doesn't do that. 1487 01:38:17.200 --> 01:38:19.600 So then I started nipping it in the bud 1488 01:38:19.600 --> 01:38:21.520 in the online dating as I like, 1489 01:38:21.520 --> 01:38:23.080 second sentence into the text. 1490 01:38:23.080 --> 01:38:25.640 I'm like, okay, are you a quote, practicing Christian? 1491 01:38:25.640 --> 01:38:29.200 It's like, cause I don't want to emotionally invest anymore, 1492 01:38:29.200 --> 01:38:31.720 you know, waste time. 1493 01:38:31.720 --> 01:38:32.560 Yeah. 1494 01:38:32.560 --> 01:38:33.680 As Christian, I think we should, you know, 1495 01:38:33.680 --> 01:38:36.080 want people that are active with their walk 1496 01:38:36.080 --> 01:38:37.560 in their Lord and have fruit. 1497 01:38:37.560 --> 01:38:39.280 And a lot of these ladies is too, 1498 01:38:39.280 --> 01:38:41.800 it's gonna be, it's as you're getting to know people, 1499 01:38:41.800 --> 01:38:45.080 you're gonna see, does a man have a teachable spirit? 1500 01:38:45.080 --> 01:38:47.640 Is he willing to walk along that? 1501 01:38:47.640 --> 01:38:50.560 I mean, I think we all can attest that, you know, 1502 01:38:50.560 --> 01:38:52.680 our relationship and our intimacy with the Lord, 1503 01:38:52.680 --> 01:38:55.880 it is a partnership and growing and being able 1504 01:38:55.880 --> 01:38:59.880 to humble ourselves and discipline ourselves 1505 01:38:59.880 --> 01:39:02.560 to kind of walk through that seasons, 1506 01:39:02.560 --> 01:39:04.640 all those types of seasons where, you know, 1507 01:39:04.640 --> 01:39:06.760 we're constantly growing and learning 1508 01:39:06.760 --> 01:39:09.000 and wanting to kind of just get upgrades. 1509 01:39:09.000 --> 01:39:10.200 You're gonna start seeing that, 1510 01:39:10.200 --> 01:39:11.400 but ladies, what I will tell you, 1511 01:39:11.400 --> 01:39:13.360 you're not gonna see that all the time 1512 01:39:13.360 --> 01:39:15.320 in the first one or two dates, 1513 01:39:15.320 --> 01:39:19.560 it's going to take some time to peel that onion, 1514 01:39:19.560 --> 01:39:21.120 really get to know someone. 1515 01:39:21.120 --> 01:39:23.360 So that's why we really do encourage, 1516 01:39:23.360 --> 01:39:25.560 give yourself a couple dates 1517 01:39:25.560 --> 01:39:27.000 of really getting to know someone 1518 01:39:27.000 --> 01:39:29.360 because you just never know, 1519 01:39:29.360 --> 01:39:33.440 like you never know where their walk is gonna lead, okay? 1520 01:39:33.440 --> 01:39:34.360 So that's what I'm saying, 1521 01:39:34.360 --> 01:39:38.600 like partnering with, this is partnering with the Lord, 1522 01:39:38.600 --> 01:39:40.840 being God defended and self defended 1523 01:39:40.840 --> 01:39:42.200 and knowing that, you know, 1524 01:39:42.200 --> 01:39:45.680 Michelle and Amory, you're not wasting time 1525 01:39:45.680 --> 01:39:48.160 because when you're operating in God's time, 1526 01:39:48.160 --> 01:39:49.800 you're not wasting time. 1527 01:39:51.440 --> 01:39:56.160 God's perfect timing, I mean, it's good and it's perfect. 1528 01:39:56.160 --> 01:39:59.520 He's the author of your love story, 1529 01:39:59.520 --> 01:40:00.360 so there's no... 1530 01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:04.560 time wasted especially when you connect with your spirit mate which is your 1531 01:40:04.560 --> 01:40:12.060 forever all right so just rest in that I know sometimes we can start operating 1532 01:40:12.060 --> 01:40:17.640 in our self-defended I don't want to waste my time I don't know like we don't 1533 01:40:17.640 --> 01:40:25.640 have to waste time we're not gonna mess up our love story all right I've been 1534 01:40:25.640 --> 01:40:29.160 divorced 24 years and I've wanted nothing more than to be married again 1535 01:40:29.160 --> 01:40:32.520 to show that with a person and I don't want to just have five or ten years 1536 01:40:32.520 --> 01:40:37.440 before they die and it seems like it's all the 70 year old 60 year old men 1537 01:40:37.440 --> 01:40:42.960 that come my way or else they're 22 or 25 yeah hard to not feel that time clock 1538 01:40:42.960 --> 01:40:48.960 girl I get you so I don't know I don't know how much of my story y'all ladies 1539 01:40:48.960 --> 01:40:55.360 know I know some of you are new faces to me so I am 41 years old I had never 1540 01:40:55.360 --> 01:41:01.640 been married I was in a lot of really toxic unhealthy relationships in my in 1541 01:41:01.640 --> 01:41:09.680 my 20s and into my 30s I was an unmarried mom all right I gotten 1542 01:41:09.680 --> 01:41:14.080 involved and with a man I thought I thought he was I thought he was a 1543 01:41:14.080 --> 01:41:18.280 God-fearing man I thought he believed I thought he practiced and I got attached 1544 01:41:18.440 --> 01:41:25.960 really quickly we got pregnant and things just unraveled very very quickly 1545 01:41:25.960 --> 01:41:31.120 he ended up cheating on me while I was still pregnant left me when I was seven 1546 01:41:31.120 --> 01:41:35.160 months pregnant and I thought that was the end for me and then I sat and I 1547 01:41:35.160 --> 01:41:42.640 spent like five to six years not dating I didn't even date like I don't like to 1548 01:41:42.640 --> 01:41:47.760 broadcast this but even in when I first joined this program I didn't date for 1549 01:41:47.760 --> 01:41:52.760 over a year now I wouldn't advise that but I knew that God was with me and 1550 01:41:52.760 --> 01:41:57.440 there was a process in that and you know God used that time even when I wasn't 1551 01:41:57.440 --> 01:42:04.800 dating to help me you know break break it break through in areas I needed to 1552 01:42:04.800 --> 01:42:11.400 get breakthrough but you know I never been married and I met my husband when I 1553 01:42:11.480 --> 01:42:24.400 was 39 years old was you know November of 2022 and met him and then on my 40th 1554 01:42:24.400 --> 01:42:30.640 birthday in 2023 my husband proposed to me 40 years I mean you talk about like 1555 01:42:30.640 --> 01:42:36.800 the connection there with you know wander in the desert for 40 years like 1556 01:42:36.800 --> 01:42:40.960 this like you know and I thought it was like that promised land was never gonna 1557 01:42:40.960 --> 01:42:47.920 come but I assure you there was just so much refining and so many breakthroughs 1558 01:42:47.920 --> 01:42:56.000 that I could experience in that so hear me when I say ladies I I feel you I've 1559 01:42:56.000 --> 01:43:01.600 been there I know how easy it is to get discouraged and feeling like it's time 1560 01:43:01.600 --> 01:43:06.960 wasted and you know I'm not gonna get to experience all the fruit of marriage 1561 01:43:06.960 --> 01:43:12.720 because I'm getting married later in life and I had this past of just toxic 1562 01:43:12.720 --> 01:43:19.680 and I'm I mean we can if we focus there because that let's be real like that's 1563 01:43:19.680 --> 01:43:25.360 where the enemy wants us to focus you know he wants us he wants us left 1564 01:43:25.360 --> 01:43:31.240 feeling discouraged hopeless and oh yeah God's gonna deliver this promise to 1565 01:43:31.240 --> 01:43:35.640 marriage but guess what you're not gonna enjoy it it's gonna be short-lived I 1566 01:43:35.760 --> 01:43:43.280 mean let's be real the enemy can't stand marriage because that's God's divine 1567 01:43:43.280 --> 01:43:49.600 plan and purpose is for husband and wife because you think about that that's the 1568 01:43:49.600 --> 01:43:56.080 perfect image of God is when two people come together masculine feminine man and 1569 01:43:56.080 --> 01:44:04.040 woman come together oh the stuff that can be unlocked you know there is I'm 1570 01:44:04.080 --> 01:44:09.920 telling you there is such an anointing on this movement because God wants 1571 01:44:09.920 --> 01:44:16.400 marriage for his children so the enemy is going to come and want to attack in 1572 01:44:16.400 --> 01:44:22.360 every which way he's gonna attack you before you meet your husband with all 1573 01:44:22.360 --> 01:44:27.120 these thoughts and fears and discouragement and hopelessness and then 1574 01:44:27.120 --> 01:44:30.160 ladies let me tell you he's gonna come in and attack you when you do meet your 1575 01:44:30.160 --> 01:44:38.000 husband like I can't tell you like it's but it's just resting assured knowing 1576 01:44:38.000 --> 01:44:43.960 that God's got you he's on your side he's planned and purpose this out like 1577 01:44:43.960 --> 01:44:51.000 it it can't be destroyed you know God gave me a word early on when I joined 1578 01:44:51.000 --> 01:44:56.000 this program and I just really feel like it's probably for somebody here that's 1579 01:44:56.000 --> 01:45:00.480 either here with us now are gonna watch and replay 1580 01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:05.600 God is not going to allow what he has for you to be stolen. 1581 01:45:07.600 --> 01:45:10.360 That was something that was released over me, 1582 01:45:10.360 --> 01:45:16.160 that there is redemption in what the enemy is trying to steal from you, 1583 01:45:16.160 --> 01:45:18.240 that there is reconciliation, 1584 01:45:18.240 --> 01:45:21.480 there's restoration, and there is redemption in that, 1585 01:45:21.480 --> 01:45:26.400 and nothing that God has for you can be taken from you. 1586 01:45:27.400 --> 01:45:30.760 And maybe that's your relationship, 1587 01:45:30.760 --> 01:45:33.520 and maybe that's your marriage. 1588 01:45:33.520 --> 01:45:40.640 Ladies, there is such a supernatural anointing on this program. 1589 01:45:41.280 --> 01:45:44.960 You're not here by mistake. 1590 01:45:44.960 --> 01:45:50.840 I believe that God has called you all here because 1591 01:45:50.840 --> 01:46:00.080 your marriage is going to be a breakthrough and be a testimony for other people. 1592 01:46:00.080 --> 01:46:05.600 And ladies, when you tap into that and you start sharing that, 1593 01:46:05.600 --> 01:46:11.480 I mean, woo, some stuff can just really be released in the spirit realm. 1594 01:46:11.480 --> 01:46:18.760 So ladies, I want you to just take hold of that and trust in that, 1595 01:46:19.640 --> 01:46:26.200 that desire in your heart, it's not by mistake. 1596 01:46:26.200 --> 01:46:33.760 All right, this program can really shift some things in the spirit. 1597 01:46:33.760 --> 01:46:39.560 I can't tell you all of the things that have been unlocked just for me 1598 01:46:39.560 --> 01:46:44.160 and other women in this community that I've gotten to walk alongside with 1599 01:46:44.160 --> 01:46:47.520 before I got married, during my marriage, and even after, 1600 01:46:47.520 --> 01:46:50.520 and then even being able to be here with you, ladies, 1601 01:46:50.520 --> 01:46:55.040 and just pour into you all and just share with you my gratitude and thanks 1602 01:46:55.040 --> 01:46:59.040 and being able to walk alongside you all in this journey. 1603 01:46:59.040 --> 01:47:04.360 It gives encouragement to me sometimes when I'm going through rough times in my marriage 1604 01:47:04.360 --> 01:47:09.160 and what the enemy is trying to get me to start buying into. 1605 01:47:09.160 --> 01:47:12.280 All right? 1606 01:47:12.320 --> 01:47:18.200 So ladies, I want to thank you for just being here and being vulnerable. 1607 01:47:18.200 --> 01:47:24.880 And I hope that this day and this, whether you're here live with us or in replay, 1608 01:47:24.880 --> 01:47:29.480 that it's just going to start unlocking some great things 1609 01:47:29.480 --> 01:47:33.560 and that hope and the encouragement. 1610 01:47:33.560 --> 01:47:35.360 All right? 1611 01:47:35.360 --> 01:47:38.840 Does anybody else have any questions that they want to ask? 1612 01:47:38.840 --> 01:47:44.320 Okay, Leslie, I do know we're kind of running a little bit late on time. 1613 01:47:44.320 --> 01:47:45.320 I'm getting better. 1614 01:47:45.320 --> 01:47:47.640 I will eventually get better with my timing here, 1615 01:47:47.640 --> 01:47:50.520 but I do really think it was probably really important. 1616 01:47:50.520 --> 01:47:54.920 I think we got some really good breakthroughs here. 1617 01:47:54.920 --> 01:48:01.200 But Leslie, you shared how much I can verbally share your emotions are out of control. 1618 01:48:01.200 --> 01:48:07.320 Leslie, I just hope that, you know, in this time that you felt some comfort. 1619 01:48:07.320 --> 01:48:12.080 So you recently had labs done in June with normal hormones, 1620 01:48:12.080 --> 01:48:17.400 but was feeling very bluesy, 1621 01:48:17.400 --> 01:48:22.720 thought it was related to several traumatic events that occurred back in March. 1622 01:48:22.720 --> 01:48:28.760 So things got worse symptomatically, and now hormones show menopause at 45. 1623 01:48:28.760 --> 01:48:30.600 So now added to the heartache and the trauma, 1624 01:48:30.600 --> 01:48:33.280 I'm also grieving being a woman in that way. 1625 01:48:33.280 --> 01:48:34.840 So many wild emotions. 1626 01:48:34.840 --> 01:48:37.000 Girl, I get you. 1627 01:48:38.000 --> 01:48:39.960 I feel you on the hormones. 1628 01:48:39.960 --> 01:48:44.200 You know, I'm 41, and, oh, girl. 1629 01:48:44.200 --> 01:48:49.040 Like, I even recently learned that I got some perimental pausal stuff, 1630 01:48:49.040 --> 01:48:52.800 and sometimes that's a challenge. 1631 01:48:52.800 --> 01:48:55.160 You know, what I do know is, you know, 1632 01:48:55.160 --> 01:48:59.200 God can show us ways that we can work through that. 1633 01:48:59.200 --> 01:49:02.200 So I'm going to just pray that over you as well. 1634 01:49:04.320 --> 01:49:06.800 And so you're asking if you should take a break from dating. 1635 01:49:07.600 --> 01:49:13.080 I think, Leslie, those are questions that I think the Lord 1636 01:49:13.080 --> 01:49:15.840 will be able to give you some peace and some grace on. 1637 01:49:15.840 --> 01:49:19.320 So if you feel like you need to push pause, it's okay. 1638 01:49:19.320 --> 01:49:22.600 Ladies, sometimes just the push pause, it might just be for a couple weeks, 1639 01:49:22.600 --> 01:49:27.320 it might be for a month, and then God will give you a little time. 1640 01:49:27.320 --> 01:49:31.800 So, Leslie, I don't want to put you on the spot 1641 01:49:31.800 --> 01:49:33.320 if you're feeling overly emotional, 1642 01:49:33.400 --> 01:49:40.120 but if you want to unmute and share with us, feel free. 1643 01:49:40.120 --> 01:49:44.120 Mostly, I just don't want to misrepresent myself 1644 01:49:44.120 --> 01:49:48.800 because I feel a little, not a little, a lot nutty, 1645 01:49:48.800 --> 01:49:52.920 and in a way that I've never been before. 1646 01:49:52.920 --> 01:49:59.040 And there are a few guys, I mean, there's a million guys on dating apps 1647 01:49:59.040 --> 01:50:00.040 that I could care less. 1648 01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:04.000 But there's a couple that I've actually enjoyed talking to, 1649 01:50:04.000 --> 01:50:06.480 but I have a tendency to want to explain, 1650 01:50:06.480 --> 01:50:11.480 like, I'm usually a little more peppy or, you know, 1651 01:50:11.520 --> 01:50:12.880 like that sort of thing. 1652 01:50:12.880 --> 01:50:17.880 And I don't want to accidentally tell them all my business 1653 01:50:18.440 --> 01:50:21.440 because I can't think straight. 1654 01:50:22.560 --> 01:50:23.400 Yeah. 1655 01:50:24.520 --> 01:50:26.680 So, yeah, I mean, if you feel like right now 1656 01:50:26.680 --> 01:50:29.640 you need to press pause so you can kind of navigate 1657 01:50:29.720 --> 01:50:32.960 and like, you know, work through some of those emotions 1658 01:50:32.960 --> 01:50:35.680 right now and maybe get some more revealing and healings. 1659 01:50:35.680 --> 01:50:38.840 And again, if you need to go back to that heartwork piece 1660 01:50:38.840 --> 01:50:40.800 and just kind of walk through a little bit of that, 1661 01:50:40.800 --> 01:50:42.120 that's totally fine. 1662 01:50:42.120 --> 01:50:45.000 Again, ladies, you're going to know, 1663 01:50:45.000 --> 01:50:46.800 and you're going to have the peace 1664 01:50:46.800 --> 01:50:48.480 about what you need to do. 1665 01:50:48.480 --> 01:50:50.280 And we're here to support you ladies. 1666 01:50:50.280 --> 01:50:53.400 So, you know, for some of you, you might want to push pause 1667 01:50:53.400 --> 01:50:54.760 and that's totally fine. 1668 01:50:54.760 --> 01:50:55.840 Don't feel like we're, 1669 01:50:55.840 --> 01:50:58.480 we threw this seven day challenge out to you 1670 01:50:58.480 --> 01:51:00.200 that all of a sudden you've got to rush 1671 01:51:00.200 --> 01:51:03.240 to get these seven dates if it's putting some pressure. 1672 01:51:03.240 --> 01:51:04.400 Because let me tell you, ladies, 1673 01:51:04.400 --> 01:51:05.240 when you start dating, 1674 01:51:05.240 --> 01:51:07.240 some things are going to be unlocked 1675 01:51:07.240 --> 01:51:10.000 and some, you know, revealings and healings 1676 01:51:10.000 --> 01:51:12.280 come through that dating process. 1677 01:51:12.280 --> 01:51:14.240 And so if you have to push pause 1678 01:51:14.240 --> 01:51:16.800 to kind of work through what you're experiencing, 1679 01:51:16.800 --> 01:51:18.440 and like I said, it could take a week, 1680 01:51:18.440 --> 01:51:21.240 it could take a couple of weeks, it might take a month, 1681 01:51:21.240 --> 01:51:26.120 and just be gentle with yourselves. 1682 01:51:26.120 --> 01:51:28.440 And this is a really important time 1683 01:51:29.400 --> 01:51:31.200 where, you know, you practice, you know, 1684 01:51:31.200 --> 01:51:33.560 partnering with the Lord 1685 01:51:33.560 --> 01:51:36.320 and having that intimacy with him too. 1686 01:51:36.320 --> 01:51:39.560 Because what I will tell you in my own experience, 1687 01:51:39.560 --> 01:51:42.800 this program, yes, I can sit here and attest 1688 01:51:42.800 --> 01:51:46.880 that I got a husband and, you know, that was the focus, 1689 01:51:46.880 --> 01:51:50.800 but that wasn't the biggest fruit from this program 1690 01:51:51.880 --> 01:51:53.400 that I received. 1691 01:51:53.400 --> 01:51:57.720 The biggest, the biggest fruit that I got from this program 1692 01:51:57.720 --> 01:51:59.520 and working through the hard work 1693 01:51:59.520 --> 01:52:03.040 and building community here and getting to know more people 1694 01:52:03.040 --> 01:52:07.400 was the relationship that I started building with the Lord. 1695 01:52:07.400 --> 01:52:11.120 I got upgrades in my intimacy with the Lord, 1696 01:52:11.120 --> 01:52:13.600 and that has been the, by far, 1697 01:52:13.600 --> 01:52:18.600 the biggest blessing and fruit from this program. 1698 01:52:21.400 --> 01:52:25.680 So just trust that, like utilize these times 1699 01:52:25.680 --> 01:52:27.200 to tap into that. 1700 01:52:28.720 --> 01:52:31.560 Okay, ladies, I think that's it. 1701 01:52:31.560 --> 01:52:33.800 We've gone over a really long time. 1702 01:52:33.800 --> 01:52:35.040 I apologize. 1703 01:52:35.040 --> 01:52:38.480 I thank you ladies for sticking it out with me. 1704 01:52:38.480 --> 01:52:40.880 I hope that you got blessed. 1705 01:52:43.000 --> 01:52:45.280 I'm just kind of going through here, 1706 01:52:47.080 --> 01:52:48.400 all the stuff in the chat 1707 01:52:48.400 --> 01:52:50.600 to make sure I didn't miss anything. 1708 01:52:51.440 --> 01:52:56.440 Amory, you may email admin at Jackie.com 1709 01:52:59.600 --> 01:53:04.600 or yeah, admin at JackieDorman.com to inquire about that 1710 01:53:05.120 --> 01:53:07.640 because I think that's still in the process of, 1711 01:53:07.640 --> 01:53:10.040 so that you might get more detail there 1712 01:53:10.040 --> 01:53:12.440 about personal dating coaches sessions 1713 01:53:12.440 --> 01:53:15.400 because I do know at some point in the future 1714 01:53:15.400 --> 01:53:18.680 that might be something that we're gonna share 1715 01:53:19.480 --> 01:53:20.760 more information on. 1716 01:53:20.760 --> 01:53:22.640 But if you are looking for that, 1717 01:53:22.640 --> 01:53:25.440 just reach out there and inquire about that 1718 01:53:25.440 --> 01:53:30.240 and just be patient with getting responses from our team 1719 01:53:30.240 --> 01:53:32.480 because the app and some of the new things 1720 01:53:32.480 --> 01:53:35.400 that we're unlocking, it does have, 1721 01:53:35.400 --> 01:53:38.400 it might take a little time, okay? 1722 01:53:38.400 --> 01:53:42.320 So just know, put your questions out there in that regards 1723 01:53:42.320 --> 01:53:45.760 and just, yes. 1724 01:53:45.800 --> 01:53:48.120 So hopefully that helped that. 1725 01:53:50.280 --> 01:53:51.240 Awesome. 1726 01:53:51.240 --> 01:53:54.720 Ladies, I love that y'all are making connections here 1727 01:53:54.720 --> 01:53:57.680 and building a sisterhood 1728 01:53:57.680 --> 01:53:59.200 because I can't tell you enough 1729 01:53:59.200 --> 01:54:03.320 just what a blessing this program has been for me 1730 01:54:03.320 --> 01:54:05.000 and the relationships I've built. 1731 01:54:05.000 --> 01:54:08.240 A lot of the women that I built friendships with 1732 01:54:08.240 --> 01:54:10.400 here in this community were at my wedding. 1733 01:54:11.360 --> 01:54:16.360 You know, so just know you're in the right place. 1734 01:54:17.440 --> 01:54:19.840 All right, ladies, I'm gonna pray us out 1735 01:54:19.840 --> 01:54:20.880 so I can let you go 1736 01:54:20.880 --> 01:54:23.120 and then hopefully I don't get reprimanded too much 1737 01:54:23.120 --> 01:54:24.840 for going on time. 1738 01:54:24.840 --> 01:54:28.160 And so I'm just gonna quickly pray us out 1739 01:54:28.160 --> 01:54:29.600 and then release you ladies. 1740 01:54:29.600 --> 01:54:31.920 And so I thank you. 1741 01:54:31.920 --> 01:54:32.760 Thank you, God. 1742 01:54:32.760 --> 01:54:34.200 I thank you for this time together. 1743 01:54:34.200 --> 01:54:36.800 I thank you for each one of these women 1744 01:54:36.800 --> 01:54:38.440 that are here currently 1745 01:54:38.440 --> 01:54:39.960 and that are gonna be in Replay Lord. 1746 01:54:40.520 --> 01:54:41.720 And I thank you for the love story 1747 01:54:41.720 --> 01:54:44.280 that you have written for each and every one of them. 1748 01:54:44.280 --> 01:54:46.480 Lord, I thank you for their vulnerable hearts. 1749 01:54:46.480 --> 01:54:48.160 I thank you for their honesty. 1750 01:54:48.160 --> 01:54:50.280 Lord, I just ask that you come alongside 1751 01:54:50.280 --> 01:54:51.840 and that you just comfort them. 1752 01:54:53.160 --> 01:54:55.960 Let them know that you are with them, 1753 01:54:55.960 --> 01:54:58.360 that they're not here by mistake, 1754 01:54:58.360 --> 01:55:00.080 that the desire that you've placed 1755 01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:02.640 and their hearts for marriage is not by mistake, Lord, 1756 01:55:02.640 --> 01:55:07.680 that you've purposely placed that desire into them 1757 01:55:07.680 --> 01:55:10.160 for a plan and a purpose. 1758 01:55:10.160 --> 01:55:16.560 Lord, I just thank you that we can trust your plan for us. 1759 01:55:16.560 --> 01:55:23.640 And Lord, I just thank you for those plans and purposes 1760 01:55:23.640 --> 01:55:27.160 that you have, and how it is going to bless the kingdom. 1761 01:55:27.160 --> 01:55:30.840 Their marriages are going to bless you, God. 1762 01:55:30.840 --> 01:55:36.280 It's going to be great testimony of your love and your care. 1763 01:55:36.280 --> 01:55:39.200 Their marriages are going to be an encouragement to other people 1764 01:55:39.200 --> 01:55:42.240 because you want your sons and daughters married. 1765 01:55:42.240 --> 01:55:45.400 Lord, we know that the enemy is attacking 1766 01:55:45.400 --> 01:55:50.120 every aspect of marriage in this country and in this world. 1767 01:55:50.120 --> 01:55:54.040 And Lord, we just know that you have everything worked out 1768 01:55:54.040 --> 01:55:55.920 for your good. 1769 01:55:55.920 --> 01:56:03.040 That no act of the enemy can prosper 1770 01:56:03.040 --> 01:56:05.920 because you already have it figured out, God. 1771 01:56:05.920 --> 01:56:08.560 And we just thank you for that promise. 1772 01:56:08.560 --> 01:56:11.840 So Lord, I just release these women today 1773 01:56:11.840 --> 01:56:16.240 to go out and just continue to build their intimate 1774 01:56:16.240 --> 01:56:18.280 relationship with you, Lord, and that you're just 1775 01:56:18.280 --> 01:56:24.160 going to continue to reveal your goodness to them 1776 01:56:24.160 --> 01:56:27.480 and give them the comfort and peace to just continue, 1777 01:56:27.480 --> 01:56:32.320 especially in those times of discouragement, God, 1778 01:56:32.320 --> 01:56:36.480 and that they can just rest in your peace and comfort. 1779 01:56:36.480 --> 01:56:37.640 So thank you, Lord. 1780 01:56:37.640 --> 01:56:40.400 And we give all of this in Jesus' name. 1781 01:56:40.400 --> 01:56:42.280 Amen. 1782 01:56:42.280 --> 01:56:44.120 Ladies, thank you again. 1783 01:56:44.120 --> 01:56:46.400 Hop on tonight at 8 o'clock if you 1784 01:56:46.400 --> 01:56:50.200 can join the love seat with Jackie and the bigger community. 1785 01:56:50.200 --> 01:56:53.800 And then I will see you all again next week, all right? 1786 01:56:53.800 --> 01:56:54.960 Be blessed, ladies. 1787 01:56:54.960 --> 01:56:56.640 Thank you so much. 1788 01:56:56.640 --> 01:56:57.440 Thank you. 1789 01:56:57.440 --> 01:56:59.400 Bye-bye, ladies. 1790 01:56:59.400 --> 01:57:00.960 Bye.