WEBVTT

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Recording in progress.

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All right, so welcome to Love Seats for September.

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If this is your first Love Seat, this is how it works.

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I'm gonna make some announcements

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about two amazing programs that we're launching here,

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and you're gonna be able to ask me any questions

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that you want about that.

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So do a little housekeeping at the beginning,

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but then we're gonna just jump right into Love Seats.

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And so the way that it works is it's group dating coaching.

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If you have a question or a scenario for the Love Seat,

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then you can raise your hand

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and volunteer to get in the Love Seat,

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and I can coach you live in front of the group,

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or we can do a speed round of just questions,

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dating questions, just different things

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that you guys want to get my input on also in the chat.

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And we can also do both, all right?

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So if we don't have enough people to get in the Love Seat

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and kind of talk about their situation,

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you guys can talk about a heartwork situation,

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you can talk about a dating situation,

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something that you keep running into,

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a specific question about a relationship that you're in,

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no matter what phase of relationship it is,

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level one, two, three, four, five.

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And so we will do that starting in just a minute.

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But first, I wanna talk about a couple things.

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Number one, there was a Labor Day prayer session.

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It was just regular Monday women's prayer,

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but I led it because it was Labor Day.

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And I felt like God gave me a word for Monday

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about intercessory prayer.

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But you guys, what ended up happening on that call

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was really powerful.

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And so we recorded it.

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So please make sure that you go to your replays

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and listen to Monday's prayer recording.

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Guys, you as well, we put the prayer recording in your group

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because a lot of it had to do with praying for men

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and praying for the reconciliation

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of the genders and the earth.

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And it was super powerful.

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And so we wanted you guys to be able to

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have access to that as well.

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So guys, it's in your replays as well.

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All right, a couple more announcements

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that have to do with this kind of stuff.

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We have phase one, two, and three in the app

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and only phase two and three are here tonight.

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Let's see, Bethany, can you make sure

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that someone's sitting on the other link right now

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in phase two, directing people to come over here

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in case they didn't get the memo?

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All right, great, thank you.

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So we're combining phase two and phase three tonight

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for Love Seat, but we have phase one, two, and three

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on the app.

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But we also have a phase three Facebook group

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that we are gonna leave open.

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We've been phasing out our phase one and phase two,

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phasing out our phase one and phase two Facebook groups

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and taking all of the students

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in phase one and two onto the app.

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Now those are not completely phased out.

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We're still phasing them out.

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But phase three Facebook group is gonna stay open

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as a women's community page.

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The men also have a community page on Facebook as well

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as their group in the app.

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And so I just wanna keep that open going forward

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because it's easier to have community on Facebook platform

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than it is on the app platform, and we understand that.

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That being said, your curriculum, your replays,

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and your calendar will remain on the app.

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You will not find that in your Facebook groups.

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We will not be updating that in Facebook.

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If you wanna find out what's on the calendar,

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where's the link, wanna rewatch some session

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because I wanna look at my replays.

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If I wanna see curriculum,

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if you're in phase one or phase two,

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you wanna look through your curriculum

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because you need some, do some homework.

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All of that's still gonna be in your app.

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We still wanna encourage you

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to use the Ask a Coach tab in your app.

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So if you really wanna get ahold of a coach,

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asking a coach in the app

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is gonna be the best place to do it.

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Let's just chit chat with each other on Facebook

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and leave all the coaching and all the questions

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and all that for the app.

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There's another little tab in all of your app groups,

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your app groups, okay, not on Facebook, called Resources.

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And if you don't see it yet, you'll see it soon.

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And what's gonna be underneath that Resource tab

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is the ability to book a one-on-one coaching session.

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Also, what's gonna be in that Resource tab

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is the ability to get your affiliate link.

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If you haven't heard the news,

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go watch the last Supernatural Saturday and the one before

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and my husband's special information session

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from Sunday night, last Sunday night,

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where you'll hear about last year's single affiliation.

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So all of you have the ability to refer people.

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Raise your hand if you've ever referred someone

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to this community.

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You're like, hey, you should check this out.

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Hey, it's amazing, you should come.

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Hey, you know, I love it, it's life-changing.

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Look at all those hands.

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Now, when you refer someone and they join,

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you'll get 75 bucks, 75 bones,

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75 buckaroos every single time.

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And you guys, that's a huge percentage

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of the 297 that people pay.

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And I want to let you know, that's how much we value you.

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And that's how much we value community-based matchmaking.

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We're never, ever, ever going to do this without each other.

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We're not.

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Yes, we have 800 or so success stories.

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But with your help, we can have triple that, quadruple

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that this coming year.

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And you can be those.

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Why?

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Because whoever you refer will refer someone

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who will refer someone who will refer someone you'll

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refer someone that's someone else's spirit mate.

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They'll refer someone who's your spirit mate.

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Remember how I always say, you know

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someone who knows someone who knows your spirit mate?

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Yeah, this is how that happens.

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All right?

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So get them in the program so we can

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help them do their hard work.

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Because we know already that people need their hard work.

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It's not just about meeting someone who's single.

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It's meeting someone who is ready to partner.

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And so we're going to help them get ready as they're in here.

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And then last but not least, also under that resource tab,

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you're going to be able to get the link to create your profile

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on Spirit Mate Match.

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You guys, do you want to see our mascot?

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Oh my gosh, he's finally done.

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This has taken so much longer than I thought.

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We had several technical difficulties.

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And the customer experience team that

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created our technology for us that we're working with

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is in a whole different time zone.

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And so by the time we wake up, they're asleep.

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By the time we go to sleep, they're getting up.

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And it's just a nightmare to try to get a hold of these folks.

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And so finally, got the technical difficulties worked out for us

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to be able to put up your link.

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So please be watching for that link.

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Where, Jackie?

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Watching for that link in phase 3 app, OK?

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In the resource page.

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That is where it's going to be posted.

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Don't email us and ask where it is, because that's where it is.

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And we'll have another information session to answer questions.

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Do not email us with questions about affiliation

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or about Spirit Mate Match.

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If you have a question about that, please post it and ask a coach.

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Phase 2, I know you're here.

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Spirit Mate Match profile is not going to be available to you

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until you're in phase 3.

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Does that mean hurry up and rush through phase 2 and not do the work?

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No.

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The reason why it's only available to phase 3,

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even though you guys are in your dating season 2,

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is because we have to roll it out one group at a time.

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It's just way too many people to onboard at the same time.

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So in the next couple of weeks, as you graduate from phase 2,

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it will be available to you.

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All right, you guys want to see our mascot?

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I want you to see our mascot.

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Isn't he the cutest little toucan?

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You see him?

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He's shaped like a heart.

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Now, you guys, we will know what the toucan means,

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but not everyone will know what it means.

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But it's a supernatural symbol.

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You guys, I believe in supernatural prophetic markers.

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I could have chose anything for my logo.

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But Spirit Mate Match, which is in the process of being

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trademarked right now, its logo will be this toucan.

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And we'll all know why.

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Because one can't, but two can, right?

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Why?

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Because that's the word that God gave us.

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And I believe that because we are going forward

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with that word, because we are valuing that word,

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we're going to see the supernatural breakthrough

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that that word brings, aren't we?

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And so that's just a little tidbit for tonight.

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If God has said something to you,

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the best thing that you can do is you

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can value what God says to you.

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If God says a verse to you or something,

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maybe get it tattooed on your body.

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Perhaps at least, at the very least, journal it.

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Write it down.

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Draw it out.

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Do something with it.

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Why?

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Because you value it.

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If it's something that continues to be a theme and a banner

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over your life, then perhaps have something

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created, like a picture to hang up in your house or something.

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What does that mean?

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That means you're keeping it before your eyes

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all the time, what God has promised.

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Every time any of us see that stinking,

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that cute little toucan, that stinking cute little toucan,

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what are we going to think?

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We're going to think, God said one can't, but two can.

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Every time.

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It's going to be a prophetic marker for us, isn't it?

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Every time we see him.

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Do you guys notice how tan I am?

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That's because I go on vacation tomorrow

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for my mother's 80th birthday.

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And I got spray tanned.

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And it's a little dark.

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It's a little dark.

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I have to admit, it's darker than I expected.

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I may have changed nationalities.

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No one's going to be able to guess who or what I am.

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I'm just.

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I'm, I'm, uh, what's the word? I'm an enigma because I don't even know if you can see it,

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but I'm just like, Whoa, I'm really tan. Um, but I am going on vacation for my mother-in-law's

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80th birthday. You guys so special to spend special time with family. And that is exciting.

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All right. I look very Hawaiian. Yeah. Thanks. Someone earlier. Yeah. You're my Puerto Rican

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sister. And someone earlier thought I was some other version of Hispanic. And I'm just

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like, you know, people, but you guys, I am just a tan person in general, just have a

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tanner skin tone because of my, my heritage. And so people do come up to me frequently

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and try to speak other languages to me as if I speak that language and I don't. All

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right. Thank you, Sandra. I appreciate that. Okay. So that I'm going to questions really

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quickly. Any questions about the affiliate program or spirit mate match that I can answer?

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Because this is being, this is being recorded right now and we can get this replay out to

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everyone. Um, you are supposed to join the single cities. Uh, you guys, we're not going

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to send the single cities to the app right now. We feel like if it's something that needs

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to be community based, it's like Facebook, obviously there's billions of dollars behind

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that platform. So the community aspect of Facebook and being able to connect is just

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easier. And so as of right now, we're still just keeping them over on Facebook. So please

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go ahead and join your single cities because you guys, this technology that we have this

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matchmaking service that we have, we have the ability to put together events with it

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as well. And we're going to be putting together some events in these different single city

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regions. So please, please, please, um, go ahead and join your single city. Let me go

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ahead and make another announcement. We have, if you want to Mark your calendar with this,

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00:12:00.400 --> 00:12:05.080
um, there's going to be two registration pages for last trip single. These are our last two

254
00:12:05.080 --> 00:12:09.800
trips for 2024. There's going to come out here in the next couple of days for you to

255
00:12:09.800 --> 00:12:14.840
register the first, the second weekend. I'm sorry. Is it the third weekend?

256
00:12:16.480 --> 00:12:20.560
Bethany, can you help me with the, the dates on the October event? Do you know what it is?

257
00:12:21.120 --> 00:12:26.160
Um, it's the second weekend. I don't based on some of the other stuff you said, I wasn't sure

258
00:12:26.160 --> 00:12:30.880
what dates for sure you landed on, but I know for sure, 11th and 12th, we talked about.

259
00:12:31.680 --> 00:12:37.280
Okay. So you guys, there's a huge, there's a huge event in Washington, DC on the mall

260
00:12:37.920 --> 00:12:42.720
for women. Okay. And we're going to be involved in that event. In fact, I don't know if any of

261
00:12:42.720 --> 00:12:47.360
you know who Lou angle is, but he's going to come and he's going to lead prayer at one of

262
00:12:47.360 --> 00:12:52.560
our prayer sessions here in the community. And we're going to go gather and men you're welcome

263
00:12:52.560 --> 00:12:58.240
to come as well. Um, but women, especially are going to gather on the mall in DC to pray and

264
00:12:58.240 --> 00:13:02.800
intercede for our nation. Okay. It's not because it's an election year. This was already planned.

265
00:13:02.800 --> 00:13:06.720
And this was the date that God gave Lou to do this. They tried it four years ago,

266
00:13:07.360 --> 00:13:11.680
five years ago. Um, and there wasn't a huge turnout this year. They're hoping for a million

267
00:13:11.680 --> 00:13:16.240
women to come. And we are going to be some of those women. So if you want to meet up with us

268
00:13:16.240 --> 00:13:21.280
in DC, we're going to put together a page. It'll list hotels in different places where you can book

269
00:13:21.280 --> 00:13:25.360
if you're, if you're kind of clueless and say, I don't know what to do. We will try to do at least

270
00:13:25.360 --> 00:13:29.680
one fun thing when we're there together, like go to the creation museum or do something while we're

271
00:13:29.680 --> 00:13:34.400
there in DC together, but we're definitely going to go to this event together. It's an all day

272
00:13:34.400 --> 00:13:39.040
event. Um, it will be fun. You'll be with your sisters and with, you know, lots of other sisters

273
00:13:39.040 --> 00:13:43.040
from all over. And we're going to pray. We're going to sing. We're going to worship. We're

274
00:13:43.040 --> 00:13:47.040
going to be together. We're going to eat some food. We're not going to be fasting that day.

275
00:13:47.040 --> 00:13:52.160
Okay. Fast until you get there, but not there, you know, of course, unless God tells you to.

276
00:13:52.160 --> 00:13:56.080
Um, so we'll put the information up for that. And then the first weekend of December

277
00:13:56.720 --> 00:14:02.720
mark your calendar. So starting on Thursday, the fifth, Friday, the sixth, Saturday, the seventh,

278
00:14:02.720 --> 00:14:07.120
Sunday, the eighth, we're going to be in New York city. If you've ever wanted to do Christmas in

279
00:14:07.120 --> 00:14:12.080
New York, this is the time to do it. The Rockefeller tree will already be lit. The ice skating will

280
00:14:12.080 --> 00:14:16.400
already be up. All the things will be going Christmas in New York city is one of my favorites.

281
00:14:16.400 --> 00:14:20.880
And I want to share that with you. Life center, New York city is going to be having a worship night

282
00:14:20.880 --> 00:14:24.880
on Saturday, the seventh. And we're going to be attending that with them. Um, we're going

283
00:14:24.880 --> 00:14:31.280
to have all kinds of fun, spiritual and not, you know, spiritual, overtly spiritual, and then just

284
00:14:31.280 --> 00:14:36.320
fun recreational things to do together. We'll have a whole itinerary. We will have a room block

285
00:14:36.320 --> 00:14:40.960
on that registration. The DC you're on your own. We'll give you a list of hotels that might have

286
00:14:40.960 --> 00:14:44.400
some available rooms. Got to get them while they're hot, because there's a lot of women

287
00:14:44.400 --> 00:14:49.760
going to DC during that time. Um, but New York city, we will have a room block and we can continue

288
00:14:49.760 --> 00:14:54.400
to add to it depending on who wants to come. If you live in the area, if you're part of single

289
00:14:54.400 --> 00:14:58.960
city, New York city, you live in the tri-state area somewhere, and you're just going to come in

290
00:14:58.960 --> 00:14:59.840
and then go back home.

291
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:01.680
That's fine as well.

292
00:15:01.680 --> 00:15:04.400
All right, and then next year, y'all, in 2025,

293
00:15:04.400 --> 00:15:06.520
in spring 2025, we're gonna kick off

294
00:15:06.520 --> 00:15:09.240
last trip single with a singles cruise.

295
00:15:09.240 --> 00:15:11.680
And so we're gonna have the registration up for that

296
00:15:11.680 --> 00:15:14.480
very soon too, so you can start paying towards it,

297
00:15:14.480 --> 00:15:17.760
little increments, so it can be budget-friendly

298
00:15:17.760 --> 00:15:20.000
for everyone to be able to go that wants to go.

299
00:15:20.000 --> 00:15:23.240
And then of course, wherever you guys wanna see us go

300
00:15:23.240 --> 00:15:25.400
next year in 2025, let us know,

301
00:15:25.400 --> 00:15:27.880
and we will take it into consideration.

302
00:15:27.960 --> 00:15:30.520
Like to do some fun trips, some camping trips,

303
00:15:30.520 --> 00:15:32.080
some different fun things.

304
00:15:32.080 --> 00:15:34.000
I'd like to do like an adult camp.

305
00:15:34.000 --> 00:15:35.440
You know, we do all kinds of camp stuff,

306
00:15:35.440 --> 00:15:36.960
like zip lining and all the fun,

307
00:15:36.960 --> 00:15:38.280
and we stay in cabins together,

308
00:15:38.280 --> 00:15:41.200
boys versus girls and all that.

309
00:15:41.200 --> 00:15:42.480
Some of you wanna go,

310
00:15:42.480 --> 00:15:44.440
you guys, we are going to Cartagena again.

311
00:15:44.440 --> 00:15:45.680
I think it's in April.

312
00:15:45.680 --> 00:15:47.000
You guys, that was fun.

313
00:15:47.000 --> 00:15:50.000
You guys gotta come, got to come.

314
00:15:50.000 --> 00:15:55.000
And yeah, spring, Regina, spring.

315
00:15:55.280 --> 00:15:57.800
Okay, so those registration pages will be up

316
00:15:58.560 --> 00:16:02.800
soon also in the resource tab in your app

317
00:16:02.800 --> 00:16:05.000
will be the last trip single calendar

318
00:16:05.000 --> 00:16:08.440
and in a way to connect to the last trip single stuff.

319
00:16:08.440 --> 00:16:09.280
So you're like, hey,

320
00:16:09.280 --> 00:16:10.920
where are those registration pages gonna be?

321
00:16:10.920 --> 00:16:13.840
In the resource tab, where?

322
00:16:13.840 --> 00:16:15.280
In your app.

323
00:16:15.280 --> 00:16:17.240
So whatever phase you're in, in your app.

324
00:16:17.240 --> 00:16:18.600
Is it gonna be on Facebook?

325
00:16:18.600 --> 00:16:19.800
Nope.

326
00:16:19.800 --> 00:16:22.920
It's gonna be in the app on the resource page.

327
00:16:22.920 --> 00:16:25.600
All right, any questions about Spirit Mate Match

328
00:16:25.600 --> 00:16:27.400
affiliation program before we go ahead

329
00:16:28.000 --> 00:16:29.000
and jump in the love seat?

330
00:16:30.400 --> 00:16:31.520
I have a question.

331
00:16:31.520 --> 00:16:32.880
Okay.

332
00:16:32.880 --> 00:16:35.600
I have not seen anything in my email

333
00:16:35.600 --> 00:16:39.440
having to do with Spirit Mate Match or the affiliate.

334
00:16:39.440 --> 00:16:42.280
Okay, Marsha, Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.

335
00:16:42.280 --> 00:16:43.320
Thank you, babe.

336
00:16:43.320 --> 00:16:45.840
I'm glad you asked that in front of everybody.

337
00:16:45.840 --> 00:16:48.240
You guys, am I gonna send you emails about this?

338
00:16:49.800 --> 00:16:52.920
No, you're not gonna get any emails.

339
00:16:52.920 --> 00:16:54.040
That's why you don't have one.

340
00:16:54.040 --> 00:16:55.080
Cause you're not going to.

341
00:16:55.080 --> 00:16:58.440
No one's gonna get any emails about this.

342
00:16:58.440 --> 00:17:01.920
That's a current member of this community.

343
00:17:01.920 --> 00:17:04.040
You will only find the information

344
00:17:04.040 --> 00:17:08.359
in the resource tab of whatever group you are in,

345
00:17:08.359 --> 00:17:09.200
in the app.

346
00:17:09.200 --> 00:17:12.400
If you're in phase two, it'll be in your resource tab.

347
00:17:12.400 --> 00:17:14.599
Phase three, it'll be in your resource tab.

348
00:17:14.599 --> 00:17:16.599
Phase two, cheeky mamas and guys,

349
00:17:16.599 --> 00:17:18.040
when you get to phase three,

350
00:17:18.040 --> 00:17:20.560
it'll still be in your resource tab.

351
00:17:20.560 --> 00:17:23.480
Every resource tab will have the exact same thing,

352
00:17:23.480 --> 00:17:25.319
whether you're in phase one, two or three,

353
00:17:25.319 --> 00:17:27.480
whether you're in the men's group, it doesn't matter.

354
00:17:27.480 --> 00:17:30.520
It'll all be there except Spirit Mate Match,

355
00:17:30.520 --> 00:17:34.200
which for right now will only be in phase three tab,

356
00:17:34.200 --> 00:17:36.640
resource tab and men's tab.

357
00:17:36.640 --> 00:17:41.080
Very soon, everyone in all phases that are dating

358
00:17:41.080 --> 00:17:44.400
and not in a sabbatical will be in the Spirit Mate Match,

359
00:17:44.400 --> 00:17:47.160
but we're starting out with phase three and men.

360
00:17:48.160 --> 00:17:51.040
But everything else, last trip, single, affiliation,

361
00:17:51.040 --> 00:17:52.720
anything else that you need,

362
00:17:52.720 --> 00:17:54.720
the ability to book a one-on-one coaching session,

363
00:17:54.720 --> 00:17:56.600
whatever, resource tab.

364
00:17:56.600 --> 00:17:58.200
Cool?

365
00:17:58.200 --> 00:18:00.080
Okay, so Marcia, don't look for emails.

366
00:18:00.080 --> 00:18:01.880
No one else, don't look for emails about this

367
00:18:01.880 --> 00:18:03.040
because you will not receive them.

368
00:18:03.040 --> 00:18:04.840
And you wanna know why we're not gonna send you emails?

369
00:18:04.840 --> 00:18:06.760
Because people don't get their emails.

370
00:18:07.760 --> 00:18:08.600
They don't.

371
00:18:08.600 --> 00:18:09.960
They don't check their emails.

372
00:18:09.960 --> 00:18:11.840
Your email looks like the wild, wild west.

373
00:18:11.840 --> 00:18:13.280
Let's just be honest.

374
00:18:13.280 --> 00:18:16.640
You have 50,000 and I'm not being exaggerated.

375
00:18:16.640 --> 00:18:19.440
You have 50,000 unread emails in your inbox

376
00:18:19.440 --> 00:18:21.200
because you use that email address to sign up

377
00:18:21.200 --> 00:18:23.440
for every freebie offer at every store

378
00:18:23.440 --> 00:18:25.720
that you've ever went into in your entire life.

379
00:18:25.720 --> 00:18:26.560
Okay?

380
00:18:26.560 --> 00:18:29.320
And so that's not a good way for us to communicate with you.

381
00:18:29.320 --> 00:18:30.960
Do we send you emails?

382
00:18:30.960 --> 00:18:33.680
Sometimes, but not recently.

383
00:18:33.680 --> 00:18:34.520
Okay?

384
00:18:34.520 --> 00:18:37.080
And so only in the resource tab,

385
00:18:37.080 --> 00:18:39.280
and that's why the resource tab is gonna be so valuable

386
00:18:39.280 --> 00:18:41.720
because if there's something important we wanna tell you,

387
00:18:41.720 --> 00:18:44.160
we're gonna put it in the resource tab.

388
00:18:44.160 --> 00:18:45.520
Everyone on the same page?

389
00:18:47.000 --> 00:18:47.840
Okay.

390
00:18:47.840 --> 00:18:50.960
I know I said that like five times in different ways

391
00:18:51.720 --> 00:18:52.560
and the reason why is because

392
00:18:52.560 --> 00:18:54.160
not everyone learns the same way.

393
00:18:54.160 --> 00:18:58.240
So I want everyone to know it's in the resource tab.

394
00:18:58.240 --> 00:19:01.040
Is it in the resource tab right this second?

395
00:19:01.040 --> 00:19:01.880
It's not.

396
00:19:02.840 --> 00:19:05.080
So when I say it's in the resource tab,

397
00:19:05.080 --> 00:19:08.320
what I mean to say is that when it's available,

398
00:19:08.320 --> 00:19:10.160
it'll be in the resource tab.

399
00:19:10.160 --> 00:19:12.800
And we hope that it will be available

400
00:19:12.800 --> 00:19:14.960
within the next 24 hours.

401
00:19:14.960 --> 00:19:18.840
Just keep looking in the resource tab until you see it.

402
00:19:18.840 --> 00:19:19.920
Okay.

403
00:19:19.920 --> 00:19:21.040
All right.

404
00:19:21.040 --> 00:19:21.960
Woo-hoo!

405
00:19:21.960 --> 00:19:22.800
Becca.

406
00:19:22.800 --> 00:19:25.400
See, Becca said she's a zero inbox girl.

407
00:19:25.400 --> 00:19:29.720
Do you guys know that with this new matchmaking service,

408
00:19:29.720 --> 00:19:32.400
I have the ability to match people based on

409
00:19:32.400 --> 00:19:35.560
whether you're a zero inbox person or not?

410
00:19:35.560 --> 00:19:37.440
I have the ability to know the littlest,

411
00:19:37.440 --> 00:19:41.240
tiniest things about you that could possibly cause you

412
00:19:41.240 --> 00:19:43.640
to wanna be with someone else.

413
00:19:43.640 --> 00:19:44.480
You know?

414
00:19:45.920 --> 00:19:48.520
The other day, someone posted on one of my challenge things

415
00:19:48.520 --> 00:19:49.520
and they said,

416
00:19:49.520 --> 00:19:52.920
oh, I can't find a man so I keep accumulating cats.

417
00:19:52.920 --> 00:19:56.600
If you heard someone say that they were accumulating cats,

418
00:19:56.600 --> 00:19:59.320
you would kind of think they had a lot of cats, right?

419
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:01.840
So I responded to her and said,

420
00:20:01.840 --> 00:20:04.520
''Hey, if you really want to make a match,

421
00:20:04.520 --> 00:20:06.840
stop accumulating cats,

422
00:20:06.840 --> 00:20:09.120
maybe rehome a few of them,

423
00:20:09.120 --> 00:20:14.760
get prepared to meet someone who maybe isn't a big fan of cats.''

424
00:20:14.760 --> 00:20:16.720
Then this girl shot back at me,

425
00:20:16.720 --> 00:20:18.200
she clapped back and said,

426
00:20:18.200 --> 00:20:19.600
''I only have two cats.''

427
00:20:19.600 --> 00:20:21.680
I was like, ''Well, then you're not accumulating them.''

428
00:20:21.680 --> 00:20:24.080
Because that word would not be used.

429
00:20:24.080 --> 00:20:25.520
I said this in my head,

430
00:20:25.520 --> 00:20:27.080
I didn't say it out loud to her.

431
00:20:27.080 --> 00:20:29.680
Instead, what I said to her out loud,

432
00:20:29.680 --> 00:20:32.680
or in writing was, I said, ''Oh, I'm sorry.

433
00:20:32.680 --> 00:20:35.160
You made it sound like you had a lot of cats.''

434
00:20:35.160 --> 00:20:41.760
Then I put 20 cat emojis after my words.

435
00:20:41.760 --> 00:20:45.000
So if you're a 20 cat person,

436
00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:48.720
I can match you with someone who likes 20 cats as well.

437
00:20:48.720 --> 00:20:52.120
Yes, and I'm excited about all that.

438
00:20:52.120 --> 00:20:54.480
Anyone have any other questions about this?

439
00:20:54.480 --> 00:20:58.000
So we can move on to love seeds.

440
00:20:58.000 --> 00:21:01.680
The love seed.

441
00:21:15.320 --> 00:21:17.920
We got some people lined up for the love seed.

442
00:21:17.920 --> 00:21:21.240
Shana Marie, I'm going to put you.

443
00:21:21.240 --> 00:21:23.480
Are you going to come on camera?

444
00:21:23.480 --> 00:21:29.960
I should make love seeds only available to people on camera.

445
00:21:32.400 --> 00:21:36.120
I think a couple of people had their hands up already,

446
00:21:36.120 --> 00:21:40.200
and I couldn't lower them for you because I'm not co-host.

447
00:21:40.200 --> 00:21:43.200
Oh, you're not? Okay. You may be the co-host.

448
00:21:43.200 --> 00:21:46.240
All right. Let me make you a co-host,

449
00:21:46.240 --> 00:21:48.080
and then I put everyone's hand down.

450
00:21:48.080 --> 00:21:50.600
Now, only raise your hand if you have a question,

451
00:21:50.600 --> 00:21:52.880
or you want to jump in the love seed.

452
00:21:54.280 --> 00:21:58.040
All right, you guys.

453
00:21:58.040 --> 00:21:59.480
So we're going to start out with love seeds.

454
00:21:59.480 --> 00:22:01.960
We want to make sure that we are honoring everyone's time.

455
00:22:01.960 --> 00:22:03.640
We want to get everyone into the love seed.

456
00:22:03.640 --> 00:22:05.720
And so if you do have a question for the love seed,

457
00:22:05.720 --> 00:22:07.520
let's make sure that it's short, brief,

458
00:22:07.520 --> 00:22:09.400
and powerful so I can answer it,

459
00:22:09.400 --> 00:22:10.800
and we can move on to the next.

460
00:22:10.800 --> 00:22:13.240
Joellen, it looks like she's the first one up,

461
00:22:13.240 --> 00:22:16.320
and I'm going to go ahead and spotlight her.

462
00:22:16.320 --> 00:22:19.160
So you can see her ask her question.

463
00:22:20.160 --> 00:22:30.560
Okay. So my situation is kind of like a pacing type question

464
00:22:30.560 --> 00:22:37.360
of like how you kind of go when you're in level two.

465
00:22:37.360 --> 00:22:41.600
Like, I don't know how to make it short.

466
00:22:41.600 --> 00:22:44.480
So that's my problem right now.

467
00:22:44.480 --> 00:22:46.440
I've been in a level two relationship

468
00:22:47.040 --> 00:22:49.280
since the end of July.

469
00:22:49.280 --> 00:22:55.880
And so there have been a lot of really great things

470
00:22:55.880 --> 00:22:57.560
that came out of this relationship,

471
00:22:57.560 --> 00:22:59.680
like wonderful things.

472
00:22:59.680 --> 00:23:03.320
But there are also like a lot about everything about us

473
00:23:03.320 --> 00:23:04.960
is very different.

474
00:23:04.960 --> 00:23:09.200
And there were some issues to work through.

475
00:23:09.200 --> 00:23:12.640
Like one of the main things being different races

476
00:23:12.640 --> 00:23:16.200
and him experiencing a lot of racism.

477
00:23:16.200 --> 00:23:21.000
And the trauma surrounding that has weighed pretty heavy

478
00:23:21.000 --> 00:23:24.680
like on me on how to be understanding of that

479
00:23:24.680 --> 00:23:26.720
because I've not experienced that,

480
00:23:26.720 --> 00:23:28.760
even though I've lived in other countries

481
00:23:28.760 --> 00:23:31.960
and I'm an ESL teacher.

482
00:23:31.960 --> 00:23:35.320
Like that's just been kind of like a highlight thing,

483
00:23:35.320 --> 00:23:36.760
like a concern.

484
00:23:36.760 --> 00:23:40.480
But anyway, one of the questions I had was,

485
00:23:40.480 --> 00:23:44.360
I didn't know really like when to tell him

486
00:23:44.360 --> 00:23:47.000
I was involved in this program.

487
00:23:47.000 --> 00:23:51.720
And that was one thing that like I just recently told him,

488
00:23:51.720 --> 00:23:53.960
but I felt like at different times

489
00:23:53.960 --> 00:23:58.760
we were maybe doing some things too quickly

490
00:23:58.760 --> 00:24:00.880
or getting too vulnerable too quickly.

491
00:24:00.880 --> 00:24:05.760
And then I would kind of like take a step back a little bit

492
00:24:05.760 --> 00:24:06.600
because I wasn't-

493
00:24:06.600 --> 00:24:08.600
Okay, so give us some examples

494
00:24:08.600 --> 00:24:10.360
of what you thought you were doing too quickly.

495
00:24:10.360 --> 00:24:13.480
So you've been dating him since the end of July.

496
00:24:13.480 --> 00:24:14.320
Yeah.

497
00:24:15.960 --> 00:24:17.760
So it is only the beginning of September.

498
00:24:17.760 --> 00:24:20.720
So really you've been dating him for about a month.

499
00:24:20.720 --> 00:24:22.200
Yeah.

500
00:24:22.200 --> 00:24:23.040
Okay.

501
00:24:23.040 --> 00:24:27.280
So, oh, so an example would be like in the beginning

502
00:24:27.280 --> 00:24:28.800
we started to pray together

503
00:24:28.800 --> 00:24:32.360
and then I asked a coach, like I mentioned that.

504
00:24:32.360 --> 00:24:34.520
And then one of the coaches said

505
00:24:34.520 --> 00:24:36.320
like that's probably not a good thing to do

506
00:24:36.320 --> 00:24:39.040
because you're developing soul ties.

507
00:24:39.040 --> 00:24:41.480
And then I was like, wow, I didn't even think about that.

508
00:24:41.480 --> 00:24:44.920
Like I had no idea about that.

509
00:24:44.920 --> 00:24:46.440
What kind of prayer together?

510
00:24:48.160 --> 00:24:51.400
We were, well, actually we were praying

511
00:24:51.400 --> 00:24:54.800
about like particular decisions

512
00:24:54.800 --> 00:24:56.680
that we were individually making.

513
00:24:56.680 --> 00:24:58.960
And then actually he had a situation

514
00:24:58.960 --> 00:25:00.360
where he needed to forgive.

515
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:06.560
someone and he did that in prayer. So actually for me, it was a good thing because I got to see him

516
00:25:07.360 --> 00:25:14.720
display heart work, you know, um, so. Okay. So let's clarify this right now for the entire group.

517
00:25:14.720 --> 00:25:20.480
So in the past we have in phase two, which is your, you know, learning to date, dating one-on-one

518
00:25:20.480 --> 00:25:26.720
kind of phase. We discourage people from praying with people that they're in, you know, these

519
00:25:26.720 --> 00:25:31.520
talking stages with, you know, in these level two relationships with where you're getting to

520
00:25:31.520 --> 00:25:36.240
know someone because, and this is the reason why, because there is spiritual manipulation

521
00:25:36.240 --> 00:25:40.960
that can happen. Um, when you're praying with someone, you know, we've had it happen lots of

522
00:25:40.960 --> 00:25:45.520
times where, you know, people get really engrossed in each other's stuff. And then they think they're

523
00:25:45.520 --> 00:25:48.960
hearing from the Lord while they're praying. And then they're giving each other words about

524
00:25:48.960 --> 00:25:52.880
each other and just different things. And so you want to be careful that being said,

525
00:25:52.880 --> 00:25:57.920
if you are spiritually mature and you're getting to know someone and you want to like, you know,

526
00:25:57.920 --> 00:26:01.360
they want to say, Hey, you know, I have a big job interview this week. Will you pray for me?

527
00:26:01.360 --> 00:26:05.840
You know, will you keep me in prayer? Or I have this situation if by getting to know someone,

528
00:26:05.840 --> 00:26:11.520
especially since we're spirit mates and not just flesh mates or soulmates, it's important that we

529
00:26:11.520 --> 00:26:18.160
are spiritual, you know, in front of each other, like she's saying right now. And so you just need

530
00:26:18.160 --> 00:26:24.400
to know how to keep a balance in it. Does that make sense to everyone? Okay. It can get manipulative.

531
00:26:24.960 --> 00:26:31.200
You can create, uh, feelings of false intimacy through intercession and prophetic prayer and

532
00:26:31.200 --> 00:26:35.360
different things with each other. But yeah, if you're, like I said, if you're spiritually mature

533
00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:41.680
and you're using it correctly now, do I suggest in, in, you know, in a level two relationship,

534
00:26:41.680 --> 00:26:45.040
we're just getting to know someone that you start going through a book together or doing a devotional

535
00:26:45.040 --> 00:26:51.520
together or doing some dating or pre marriage book together. No, I don't suggest that now after

536
00:26:51.520 --> 00:26:57.120
you've established an exclusive relationship with someone where it is now a marriage minded

537
00:26:57.120 --> 00:27:01.040
relationship, regardless of how long you've been together. If you've developed, if you have

538
00:27:01.040 --> 00:27:06.480
established a marriage minded relationship, then I would say, take it slow on that stuff.

539
00:27:07.040 --> 00:27:12.480
Because once again, it can, it can actually mask red flags. If you're being all spiritual

540
00:27:12.480 --> 00:27:16.720
with someone, you might not be paying attention to what's right in front of you. Okay. And so

541
00:27:16.720 --> 00:27:22.400
just be careful with that because it can cause you to ignore things that you shouldn't ignore.

542
00:27:22.400 --> 00:27:27.520
Okay. Back to you. All right. So what is your question about pacing? What do you want to know?

543
00:27:27.520 --> 00:27:33.360
Um, so, well, basically, cause I feel like I, then I took a step back and,

544
00:27:33.360 --> 00:27:41.200
and I was kind of like not doing that. And then, um, yeah, like with pacing, like just figuring

545
00:27:41.200 --> 00:27:47.520
out like how you go from one level to the next, because I feel like I really mess things up

546
00:27:47.520 --> 00:27:55.600
because we were in different locations for a bit. Um, he's in another country right now at location.

547
00:27:55.600 --> 00:28:04.560
And, um, so basically I feel like I made a really big mistake because, you know, he was saying that

548
00:28:04.560 --> 00:28:10.720
he was going out with an old friend that was a girl and whatever. Um, and it didn't really bother

549
00:28:10.800 --> 00:28:17.360
me because I just believed him on that. And then, um, I went out with some friends and then our

550
00:28:17.360 --> 00:28:23.920
plans changed and then we ended up going to like a single meetup. And when I told him that he got

551
00:28:23.920 --> 00:28:32.480
really, really upset and was like, how could you go to a single meetup? And I was like, well,

552
00:28:32.480 --> 00:28:39.440
you know, we haven't really defined like how, where we're at and nothing happened at the single

553
00:28:39.440 --> 00:28:46.160
meetup. I just played miniature golf with a bunch of women. But anyway, um, I felt really bad about

554
00:28:46.160 --> 00:28:53.520
that, but he got very upset and was like, I think we just need to be friends. And so I was sort of

555
00:28:53.520 --> 00:29:02.720
like really crushed. Okay. Well, yeah, just, okay. So first of all, um, displaying that type of

556
00:29:02.720 --> 00:29:09.440
jealousy so early in, you know, any kind of relationship is not good. It's not a good sign.

557
00:29:10.240 --> 00:29:14.320
You know, if he doesn't trust you, I mean, he barely knows you. You don't have any reason to

558
00:29:14.320 --> 00:29:17.760
lie to him. If he thinks that you're doing something that you shouldn't be doing or that

559
00:29:17.760 --> 00:29:22.960
you're lying to him or cheating on him, even though you're not his girlfriend, then that is

560
00:29:22.960 --> 00:29:29.280
showing that he's got some unhealed trauma. So if he's saying that you should just be friends, then

561
00:29:29.280 --> 00:29:36.480
I would consider that being God defended, honestly. Okay. You know, you didn't, but I want

562
00:29:36.480 --> 00:29:42.160
to tell you something, you didn't do anything wrong. In fact, I think that the decision that

563
00:29:42.160 --> 00:29:48.720
you made there was probably very supernaturally driven in being able to see and see, you know,

564
00:29:48.720 --> 00:29:56.560
show you what's going on here. You know? Yeah. I want to, I want to say something else about,

565
00:29:56.560 --> 00:29:59.840
people that are dating outside of your, you know, your race.

566
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.360
It doesn't have to just be your race. It could also be your background.

567
00:30:03.360 --> 00:30:06.960
Like say you're raised in the church, you're dating someone who's a newer believer

568
00:30:06.960 --> 00:30:10.560
or someone who just became a believer as an adult, you're dating someone from a different race,

569
00:30:10.560 --> 00:30:16.560
a different nationality, someone whose first language was not the same as your first language,

570
00:30:16.560 --> 00:30:20.720
even though they speak your language now, it wasn't, you know, just cultural differences.

571
00:30:20.720 --> 00:30:24.320
There are going to be differences in the way that you think and feel about things.

572
00:30:24.880 --> 00:30:31.440
There are. It's not going to be easy to date someone who has a very, very different upbringing

573
00:30:31.440 --> 00:30:40.720
or past or heritage or lineage or, you know, creed, anything. And so that keeping that in mind,

574
00:30:40.720 --> 00:30:45.360
you're going to have to work through that stuff. I like it that we're different. I think that it

575
00:30:45.360 --> 00:30:49.600
brings a richness to relationships, but you're going to have to be willing to see life through

576
00:30:49.600 --> 00:30:55.280
somebody else's eyes. Okay. And that's not the easiest thing to do. And so let's make sure that

577
00:30:55.280 --> 00:31:01.200
we keep that in mind as we're going forward. All right. So I'm sorry that you're disappointed

578
00:31:01.200 --> 00:31:07.520
about that. I know that it sounded like it was going in a good direction, but once again,

579
00:31:07.520 --> 00:31:11.760
I think that the things you're seeing right now are things that you definitely should not ignore.

580
00:31:12.720 --> 00:31:16.560
I'm trying to see what your name. Okay. Joellen. All right. So.

581
00:31:18.000 --> 00:31:23.120
I, and just like one other thing is because our backgrounds were so different,

582
00:31:24.720 --> 00:31:32.640
like he experienced a lot of trauma and how he grew up and I didn't. And like, I think I felt

583
00:31:32.640 --> 00:31:37.920
like he just kept on saying, like, I have all this experience and you don't have experience.

584
00:31:38.640 --> 00:31:44.240
And I just didn't know how to answer that. I was like, well, I don't have the experience,

585
00:31:44.240 --> 00:31:49.280
but how else do you get experience? Unless you just dig in and try to deal with things.

586
00:31:49.840 --> 00:31:52.960
What specific thing was he saying? You didn't have experience in.

587
00:31:53.520 --> 00:31:59.840
In relationships because he had a long-term relationship where he was engaged and he broke

588
00:31:59.840 --> 00:32:06.320
it off. And so, and he's had a lot of experiences with a lot of relationships and I haven't.

589
00:32:07.120 --> 00:32:11.840
Okay. Well, here's the thing. The common denominator in all those failed relationships

590
00:32:11.840 --> 00:32:16.320
is him. So hopefully he will be open to coming and doing some hard work. And then secondly,

591
00:32:16.880 --> 00:32:22.640
not having experience in relationship means that you also don't have relationship baggage. And so

592
00:32:22.640 --> 00:32:28.880
that is good for you. Right. And so not having experience, especially if it's bad experience,

593
00:32:28.880 --> 00:32:35.520
like what he's talking about is a good thing. It's a good thing, right? Yeah. All right.

594
00:32:36.880 --> 00:32:45.040
All right. Guess what? Guess what? You just got some experience. Yeah, it's true. Welcome.

595
00:32:45.680 --> 00:32:52.000
Thank you. Welcome. All right. You're welcome. Listen, I know that that's disappointing, but

596
00:32:53.040 --> 00:32:58.800
you'll see, you'll see why you watch and see what's going to happen after you, you learn

597
00:32:58.800 --> 00:33:03.680
these things that you're learning here and you're moving forward. You're going to see that there are

598
00:33:03.680 --> 00:33:10.880
better prospects ahead. All right. Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. And, and ladies and gentlemen,

599
00:33:11.440 --> 00:33:15.920
let's, let's not rush in with our feelings and our emotions too quickly with people.

600
00:33:15.920 --> 00:33:21.440
All right. Um, let's definitely not do that. We want to make sure that we're giving ourselves

601
00:33:21.440 --> 00:33:27.200
space to get to know people. We're at a good pace so that we don't get super disappointed

602
00:33:28.080 --> 00:33:33.040
over a relationship that really didn't have a lot of longevity anyway.

603
00:33:33.040 --> 00:33:37.360
Like it didn't have a lot of promise of longevity anyway. Right. This is a great,

604
00:33:37.920 --> 00:33:45.120
this was a great opportunity for her to get some experience, um, in dealing with people and in

605
00:33:45.120 --> 00:33:51.360
dating someone and, you know, and in seeing different levels of heartwork and different

606
00:33:51.360 --> 00:33:58.560
non-negotiables from heaven. And so I call this a win. This is a win for her. All right.

607
00:33:58.560 --> 00:34:03.200
Especially since guys, isn't it beautiful how quickly God will defend us, how quickly God will

608
00:34:03.200 --> 00:34:07.680
show us what's there so that we don't have to spin our wheels and waste our time. If we will

609
00:34:07.680 --> 00:34:12.880
let him, God will show us things really fast about the acquaintances that we are entertaining.

610
00:34:13.840 --> 00:34:17.760
It's important. All right. We're going to go ahead and jump into the next love seat. Rachel's next

611
00:34:17.760 --> 00:34:27.280
in line on my, on my chart here. So Rachel you're up. Thanks Jackie. Um, so I actually have a pacing

612
00:34:27.280 --> 00:34:32.639
question kind of as well, but it's kind of the other end of it. So I have been talking to a man

613
00:34:32.639 --> 00:34:42.080
since the middle of June. Um, and we've gone out on seven dates, um, throughout the summer

614
00:34:42.080 --> 00:34:48.880
and they've all been really fun dates. Um, we've had tons of time to talk and, um,

615
00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:57.840
lots we've gotten to know each other really well. Um, but it's been like, uh, lots of time in between.

616
00:34:58.800 --> 00:34:59.920
And, um,

617
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.600
And this last one was, we had almost three weeks between our

618
00:35:03.600 --> 00:35:07.480
prior date to the last one this last weekend. And we went on a

619
00:35:07.480 --> 00:35:10.800
long hike and had a picnic. So we were together for a few hours

620
00:35:10.800 --> 00:35:14.600
and, and it was at this point that I, I just felt like I

621
00:35:14.600 --> 00:35:18.040
needed to ask him kind of where things were, because I've

622
00:35:18.040 --> 00:35:21.800
noticed that he doesn't initiate a lot of texting or calls in

623
00:35:21.800 --> 00:35:26.120
between. I'll text, he'll text me back, I'll text, and then

624
00:35:26.120 --> 00:35:29.520
he'll call me. But he doesn't initiate a lot of the calls or

625
00:35:29.520 --> 00:35:36.000
the texts. And then he always initiates the dates. And he's,

626
00:35:36.840 --> 00:35:41.480
he's has the three M's for sure. But he's also fairly newly

627
00:35:41.480 --> 00:35:45.520
divorced. And so this is kind of a new how newly how newly

628
00:35:45.520 --> 00:35:51.360
divorced? I think it was final in May, I think in May was when

629
00:35:51.360 --> 00:35:53.680
it was final. Okay. And how long have they been separated?

630
00:35:54.560 --> 00:36:01.480
A year and a half before that. Okay, go ahead. So when we

631
00:36:01.480 --> 00:36:05.600
talked on Sunday, and I asked where we were at, he basically

632
00:36:05.600 --> 00:36:09.520
said, he's not ready for a commitment, because he doesn't

633
00:36:09.520 --> 00:36:12.240
want to have a rebound relationship. And I'm the first

634
00:36:12.720 --> 00:36:18.720
person that he's dated since the divorce. And so he wants to

635
00:36:18.720 --> 00:36:21.720
just take it slowly. He wants to honor the Lord, he wants to

636
00:36:22.600 --> 00:36:26.400
follow him through. Okay, let me ask you a question. Is he taking

637
00:36:26.400 --> 00:36:27.040
it slowly?

638
00:36:29.000 --> 00:36:32.280
Well, I guess that's my question. Is he taking it

639
00:36:32.280 --> 00:36:35.240
slowly? Because it feels like I mean, there's been two to three

640
00:36:35.240 --> 00:36:39.080
weeks between dates. The the bigger issue for me is like he

641
00:36:39.080 --> 00:36:45.120
doesn't text or call to check in between. Very rarely does he and

642
00:36:45.120 --> 00:36:47.760
so he'll respond to mine, but I, I'm

643
00:36:48.120 --> 00:36:51.480
a romantic relationship. Has he held your hand? Has he tried to

644
00:36:51.480 --> 00:36:53.960
kiss you? Has he gotten romantic with you in any way?

645
00:36:54.200 --> 00:36:56.680
He's not tried to kiss me. He has held my hand.

646
00:36:57.360 --> 00:37:01.200
Okay. And there's two to three weeks in between these dates.

647
00:37:01.600 --> 00:37:05.880
And you don't hear from him until like, do you plan the next

648
00:37:05.880 --> 00:37:08.720
date when you're together? Or does he just pop up two to three

649
00:37:08.720 --> 00:37:10.240
weeks later? Like, hey, you want to go out?

650
00:37:11.080 --> 00:37:17.040
So we've been texting in between. And, okay. It was

651
00:37:17.040 --> 00:37:20.040
fairly as you said, there was no communication in between. No,

652
00:37:20.040 --> 00:37:23.400
no, he wasn't initiating the text. So I would text and then

653
00:37:23.400 --> 00:37:27.200
he would text me back. Okay. And then or I would text him and he

654
00:37:27.200 --> 00:37:30.360
would call but waiting for him to initiate a text sometimes

655
00:37:30.360 --> 00:37:35.360
will be two or three days or four days. Yeah. And so then

656
00:37:35.880 --> 00:37:39.200
he'll text me and say, Hey, do you want to go dancing tonight?

657
00:37:39.720 --> 00:37:42.880
And so three of our dates were like totally spontaneous same

658
00:37:42.880 --> 00:37:49.560
day. And so there's not a lot of thought ahead. And then and he

659
00:37:49.560 --> 00:37:52.440
actually told me on this last date that his wife got upset

660
00:37:52.440 --> 00:37:55.400
with him. His ex wife got upset with him about that a few times

661
00:37:55.400 --> 00:38:00.560
because he didn't plan things. So that was interesting insight

662
00:38:00.760 --> 00:38:04.920
from that standpoint. But I'm just wondering, do I need to

663
00:38:04.920 --> 00:38:08.280
just hold back and let him initiate who does he have

664
00:38:08.280 --> 00:38:13.840
children? Yes. Okay. And who initiated the who initiated the

665
00:38:13.840 --> 00:38:14.560
divorce?

666
00:38:18.160 --> 00:38:20.840
What was the reason for the divorce? As far as you know,

667
00:38:21.120 --> 00:38:26.800
renounced God and went bipolar and lost custody of her kids and

668
00:38:27.440 --> 00:38:28.480
went a little bit crazy.

669
00:38:29.720 --> 00:38:34.080
Okay, so he has full custody of his children. Okay, and how old

670
00:38:34.080 --> 00:38:40.680
are they? 1517 21 and 23. Okay, so he has two teenagers at home

671
00:38:40.720 --> 00:38:44.520
and maybe a young adult of some sort.

672
00:38:44.840 --> 00:38:48.360
Because his girls are don't live at home. His older they don't

673
00:38:48.360 --> 00:38:51.160
live with him. They're they're on their own. They're in college

674
00:38:51.160 --> 00:38:53.920
and on their own. But the 15 and 17 year old live at home.

675
00:38:53.960 --> 00:38:59.360
15 and 17. All right, well, the guy's busy. All right. So he's

676
00:38:59.360 --> 00:39:04.720
full. He has full custody of kids. And, you know, and so

677
00:39:04.720 --> 00:39:10.000
he's, he's just officially divorced as of May. And he

678
00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:12.200
already told you with his own words that he wants to take

679
00:39:12.200 --> 00:39:16.400
things slow that he doesn't want to rebound. You're seeing him

680
00:39:16.440 --> 00:39:19.720
every two to three weeks. I'm kind of concerned about the fact

681
00:39:19.720 --> 00:39:22.320
that the only thing that's keeping communication alive with

682
00:39:22.320 --> 00:39:27.240
you guys is you. That's my question. Right? Yeah. So I

683
00:39:27.240 --> 00:39:30.840
definitely hit you guys. This is a slippery slope, ladies. I want

684
00:39:30.840 --> 00:39:36.560
to talk to you about this. Okay. This guy is trying to figure out

685
00:39:36.560 --> 00:39:40.320
his life. It's not a bad guy. All right. Nothing that we've

686
00:39:40.320 --> 00:39:43.440
heard so far says that this guy is bad in any way, shape or

687
00:39:43.440 --> 00:39:48.600
form. Okay, he's, he's, he's been dealt some blows. He lost

688
00:39:48.600 --> 00:39:51.600
his he lost his wife, he lost his marriage because of her

689
00:39:51.600 --> 00:39:56.000
choices. Okay, there's it takes two to tango. So I'm sure there

690
00:39:56.000 --> 00:40:00.040
were some failures on his part to cover and protect. But yes.

691
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.640
And then he's got four kids.

692
00:40:02.640 --> 00:40:03.900
Two of them might be at college,

693
00:40:03.900 --> 00:40:06.300
but I have three kids that are all adults.

694
00:40:06.300 --> 00:40:07.400
And I know what it's like,

695
00:40:07.400 --> 00:40:08.920
even when they don't live with me,

696
00:40:08.920 --> 00:40:10.600
them calling, them needing things,

697
00:40:10.600 --> 00:40:12.160
you know, worrying about them, all this stuff.

698
00:40:12.160 --> 00:40:14.640
And then he has two teenagers at home.

699
00:40:14.640 --> 00:40:17.320
And I'm telling you, high school is the wild, wild west.

700
00:40:17.320 --> 00:40:19.520
And so he's got two teenagers at home

701
00:40:19.520 --> 00:40:22.520
and he's trying to have some kind of social life.

702
00:40:22.520 --> 00:40:25.040
So seeing him every two to three weeks, that's about right.

703
00:40:25.040 --> 00:40:27.120
And he's telling you that he wants to go slow.

704
00:40:27.120 --> 00:40:28.960
And so you're going to have to go slow with him

705
00:40:29.000 --> 00:40:30.440
because that's what he has said he wanted.

706
00:40:30.440 --> 00:40:32.360
So my question to you is who else are you seeing

707
00:40:32.360 --> 00:40:33.820
or dating besides this guy?

708
00:40:34.800 --> 00:40:36.240
Nobody right now.

709
00:40:36.240 --> 00:40:38.160
Right, that's a mistake.

710
00:40:38.160 --> 00:40:40.840
So you're a beautiful woman,

711
00:40:40.840 --> 00:40:42.520
you're an eligible bachelorette.

712
00:40:42.520 --> 00:40:44.200
You need to get out there and meet more people

713
00:40:44.200 --> 00:40:46.280
because if you're sitting around waiting for this

714
00:40:46.280 --> 00:40:47.960
to turn into something,

715
00:40:47.960 --> 00:40:51.120
you won't be waiting for a minute, okay?

716
00:40:51.120 --> 00:40:54.380
And so don't do that.

717
00:40:55.960 --> 00:40:58.280
Now, the slippery slope part is,

718
00:40:58.280 --> 00:41:03.280
should she stop being the initiator in the conversations?

719
00:41:04.040 --> 00:41:07.620
Well, she set herself up as the initiator.

720
00:41:07.620 --> 00:41:11.000
So now she is the initiator and that doesn't make him bad.

721
00:41:11.000 --> 00:41:12.680
It doesn't make him not interested in her.

722
00:41:12.680 --> 00:41:15.280
It's just because she has been the initiator,

723
00:41:15.280 --> 00:41:17.800
he now expects her to initiate.

724
00:41:17.800 --> 00:41:20.800
And that's what happens when we do that.

725
00:41:20.800 --> 00:41:24.360
And he already told you that in his former marriage,

726
00:41:24.360 --> 00:41:26.480
his wife was the initiator

727
00:41:26.480 --> 00:41:28.360
because she complained that he doesn't initiate.

728
00:41:28.360 --> 00:41:29.640
So guess who initiated?

729
00:41:29.640 --> 00:41:31.840
Him, I mean her.

730
00:41:31.840 --> 00:41:34.560
So do you see what I'm saying?

731
00:41:34.560 --> 00:41:37.080
Now, does that make a man a bad man?

732
00:41:37.080 --> 00:41:41.200
No, I definitely initiated most contact

733
00:41:41.200 --> 00:41:44.120
with my husband when we were neighbors.

734
00:41:45.800 --> 00:41:48.000
I flirted mostly with him.

735
00:41:48.000 --> 00:41:49.520
He had no game at all.

736
00:41:49.520 --> 00:41:52.760
And so this guy just might not have any game.

737
00:41:52.760 --> 00:41:54.800
He's been married for a long time.

738
00:41:54.800 --> 00:41:56.760
Look at how old his kids are.

739
00:41:56.760 --> 00:41:58.360
26 years.

740
00:41:58.360 --> 00:42:01.120
Yeah, so he doesn't know how to do this.

741
00:42:01.120 --> 00:42:02.080
He doesn't.

742
00:42:02.080 --> 00:42:04.960
And so I definitely would keep him in the roster.

743
00:42:04.960 --> 00:42:06.680
I would keep him on your roster,

744
00:42:06.680 --> 00:42:09.480
but I would definitely add a few more players.

745
00:42:09.480 --> 00:42:11.840
Okay, that way you don't feel like you're waiting around

746
00:42:11.840 --> 00:42:13.320
for Mr. two to three weeks.

747
00:42:15.640 --> 00:42:18.520
Okay, he's in a healing trajectory right now.

748
00:42:18.520 --> 00:42:20.680
He's healing, he's figuring out what he wants,

749
00:42:20.680 --> 00:42:22.680
what life, he's raising his kids.

750
00:42:23.480 --> 00:42:27.320
You know, if something happens here, okay,

751
00:42:27.320 --> 00:42:28.600
you can make a decision about it

752
00:42:28.600 --> 00:42:29.840
if something starts to happen

753
00:42:29.840 --> 00:42:31.280
and he starts to develop feelings for you

754
00:42:31.280 --> 00:42:34.520
and he wants to make more of a concerted effort on you,

755
00:42:34.520 --> 00:42:35.920
but he's just not there yet.

756
00:42:37.520 --> 00:42:38.360
Right?

757
00:42:38.360 --> 00:42:41.440
So if you feel like, if it ever gets to a place with,

758
00:42:41.440 --> 00:42:44.600
because you're Mrs. Initiation now, just so you know.

759
00:42:44.600 --> 00:42:48.040
And so if it ever gets to feel like, you know,

760
00:42:48.040 --> 00:42:50.280
like you're chasing him or he can't be bothered,

761
00:42:50.280 --> 00:42:52.360
then definitely don't do that anymore.

762
00:42:53.040 --> 00:42:54.000
But if you're communicating

763
00:42:54.000 --> 00:42:55.480
and he's communicating right back

764
00:42:55.480 --> 00:42:57.400
and he's like, hey, let's go out, wanna do things.

765
00:42:57.400 --> 00:42:58.240
Okay, cool.

766
00:42:58.240 --> 00:43:01.480
You can continue to be the person that is,

767
00:43:01.480 --> 00:43:03.760
you know, communicating.

768
00:43:03.760 --> 00:43:05.760
And some people are really bad communicators

769
00:43:05.760 --> 00:43:08.080
through technology, you guys.

770
00:43:08.080 --> 00:43:10.800
I mean, to this day, my husband is a horrible texter.

771
00:43:11.680 --> 00:43:12.520
Horrible.

772
00:43:12.520 --> 00:43:15.360
He's told me that straight up right at the very beginning.

773
00:43:15.360 --> 00:43:16.200
That he's not-

774
00:43:16.200 --> 00:43:17.040
Yeah, my husband's bad.

775
00:43:17.040 --> 00:43:18.640
Yeah, my husband's bad too.

776
00:43:18.640 --> 00:43:20.560
Like the whole family complains about it.

777
00:43:20.600 --> 00:43:21.800
You send dad a text,

778
00:43:21.800 --> 00:43:25.360
you're not gonna get a reply for like a long time.

779
00:43:26.400 --> 00:43:27.240
Okay.

780
00:43:27.240 --> 00:43:30.960
And so, in fact, our team will say,

781
00:43:30.960 --> 00:43:32.920
my husband has a lot of amazing qualities,

782
00:43:32.920 --> 00:43:36.400
but communicating through technology is not one of them.

783
00:43:37.520 --> 00:43:39.240
And so, because our team communicates

784
00:43:39.240 --> 00:43:40.520
through technology too.

785
00:43:40.520 --> 00:43:41.640
So we're not gonna hold that against.

786
00:43:41.640 --> 00:43:42.760
There's a whole bunch of things.

787
00:43:42.760 --> 00:43:45.640
I love it that he was able to tell you from the beginning

788
00:43:45.640 --> 00:43:48.040
that he has no intention of moving quickly.

789
00:43:48.040 --> 00:43:49.280
That is good.

790
00:43:49.280 --> 00:43:50.880
It's good that he's able to say that.

791
00:43:50.880 --> 00:43:52.000
He hasn't led you on.

792
00:43:52.000 --> 00:43:54.200
He's let you know from the very beginning.

793
00:43:54.200 --> 00:43:55.640
It sounds like you guys are having fun together

794
00:43:55.640 --> 00:43:56.880
when you do get together.

795
00:43:56.880 --> 00:44:00.160
Let's just let it be that until it becomes something else.

796
00:44:00.160 --> 00:44:01.000
Okay.

797
00:44:01.000 --> 00:44:01.840
Thank you, I appreciate it.

798
00:44:01.840 --> 00:44:02.680
Sound good, Rachel?

799
00:44:02.680 --> 00:44:03.520
Okay.

800
00:44:03.520 --> 00:44:04.840
Cause Rachel, you're just back at,

801
00:44:04.840 --> 00:44:06.760
you're back out on these dating streets.

802
00:44:06.760 --> 00:44:09.200
Weren't you like in a semi-serious relationship

803
00:44:09.200 --> 00:44:10.280
not that long ago?

804
00:44:10.280 --> 00:44:11.120
Yeah.

805
00:44:11.120 --> 00:44:12.000
I mean, it was only,

806
00:44:12.000 --> 00:44:14.320
that relationship was only about a month and a half long,

807
00:44:14.320 --> 00:44:17.560
but yes, that was back in April.

808
00:44:17.560 --> 00:44:19.840
So you're still licking your wounds from that

809
00:44:19.840 --> 00:44:23.320
and you are afraid that this is showing signs of that.

810
00:44:23.320 --> 00:44:24.160
You're right.

811
00:44:24.160 --> 00:44:25.680
That's exactly right.

812
00:44:25.680 --> 00:44:26.640
Well, that's Holy Spirit

813
00:44:26.640 --> 00:44:28.240
because you know how many of you guys there are?

814
00:44:28.240 --> 00:44:29.880
And the fact that I remember that about you

815
00:44:29.880 --> 00:44:33.520
tells me that Holy Spirit is jogging my memory about that.

816
00:44:33.520 --> 00:44:36.640
So do not compare that guy to this guy.

817
00:44:37.560 --> 00:44:40.440
And the way you stay out of these situations

818
00:44:40.440 --> 00:44:43.440
is by keeping more than one guy in rotation

819
00:44:44.240 --> 00:44:47.480
when they're not ready for something serious yet.

820
00:44:49.240 --> 00:44:50.080
Okay?

821
00:44:50.080 --> 00:44:50.920
Okay.

822
00:44:50.920 --> 00:44:51.760
Thank you.

823
00:44:51.760 --> 00:44:52.600
All right.

824
00:44:52.600 --> 00:44:53.440
Yep.

825
00:44:53.440 --> 00:44:54.520
And in fairness, you guys,

826
00:44:54.520 --> 00:44:57.120
this guy shouldn't be ready for something serious yet.

827
00:44:57.120 --> 00:44:57.960
You guys, he shouldn't.

828
00:44:57.960 --> 00:44:59.960
He just got divorced in May.

829
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:02.400
It's only the beginning of September.

830
00:45:02.400 --> 00:45:06.640
So it's great that he's pacing himself a little bit

831
00:45:06.640 --> 00:45:08.160
and trying to get his head together.

832
00:45:08.160 --> 00:45:09.440
I think that's good.

833
00:45:09.440 --> 00:45:10.600
All right, Constance.

834
00:45:14.800 --> 00:45:19.280
Hi Jackie, thank you for taking my question.

835
00:45:19.280 --> 00:45:22.840
I met a man about a month ago

836
00:45:22.840 --> 00:45:26.560
through my singles ministry at my church

837
00:45:26.560 --> 00:45:29.440
and we've been hanging out ever since.

838
00:45:29.440 --> 00:45:34.440
And last week he asked me to meet with his counselor

839
00:45:37.960 --> 00:45:40.760
to do a phone call with her.

840
00:45:40.760 --> 00:45:45.760
And then he also asked if he could do a call

841
00:45:47.280 --> 00:45:50.360
with one of my, I don't have a counselor right now,

842
00:45:50.360 --> 00:45:53.040
but one of my past counselors.

843
00:45:53.040 --> 00:45:57.760
And so I thought that was kind of weird,

844
00:45:57.760 --> 00:46:00.680
but I went ahead and did that.

845
00:46:00.680 --> 00:46:03.640
I never, no one's ever asked me to do that before,

846
00:46:03.640 --> 00:46:05.760
but I did meet with his counselor

847
00:46:05.760 --> 00:46:10.760
and she assured me that I wasn't on trial,

848
00:46:12.080 --> 00:46:16.680
but, and that she wanted to share with me some emotional,

849
00:46:16.680 --> 00:46:19.720
spiritual and emotional things

850
00:46:19.720 --> 00:46:24.720
that might help us know if we're compatible, I guess.

851
00:46:24.880 --> 00:46:26.520
And so, yeah.

852
00:46:26.520 --> 00:46:28.960
So what are your thoughts, I guess, on that first?

853
00:46:29.880 --> 00:46:31.240
I think it's super weird.

854
00:46:33.360 --> 00:46:36.760
Okay, does anyone, raise your hand if you think it's weird.

855
00:46:42.960 --> 00:46:47.600
How, can you remind me of how long you've known this guy

856
00:46:47.600 --> 00:46:50.320
or how long, like how long after the first date

857
00:46:50.320 --> 00:46:52.960
did he ask you to talk to his counselor?

858
00:46:53.040 --> 00:46:56.360
About three weeks.

859
00:46:57.760 --> 00:47:00.720
Okay, and have you, how many dates have you had in total?

860
00:47:02.120 --> 00:47:03.880
A lot, it's been about a month,

861
00:47:03.880 --> 00:47:07.240
but we've done dance festivals

862
00:47:07.240 --> 00:47:11.760
and we've logged a lot of hours in the last month, so.

863
00:47:11.760 --> 00:47:13.600
Okay, so here's the thing.

864
00:47:13.600 --> 00:47:15.840
He could be a completely okay guy.

865
00:47:15.840 --> 00:47:18.360
It sounds like you're having fun with him,

866
00:47:18.360 --> 00:47:21.480
but he could have like, like a,

867
00:47:21.480 --> 00:47:23.280
and I don't want to say inappropriate

868
00:47:23.280 --> 00:47:24.440
because that makes it sound sexual,

869
00:47:24.440 --> 00:47:28.640
but it sounds like he might have a little bit too much

870
00:47:28.640 --> 00:47:30.760
of a codependency on his therapist.

871
00:47:31.920 --> 00:47:33.760
Is that what it sounds like to you guys?

872
00:47:33.760 --> 00:47:37.520
Like it almost like he needs her to speak for him

873
00:47:37.520 --> 00:47:41.040
or she needs to be involved in, you know,

874
00:47:41.040 --> 00:47:43.680
in the relationship in some way.

875
00:47:43.680 --> 00:47:46.440
And that's a flag for me.

876
00:47:46.440 --> 00:47:47.680
Okay.

877
00:47:47.680 --> 00:47:49.880
Therapy should be something that's very private,

878
00:47:49.880 --> 00:47:50.880
something that's, you know,

879
00:47:50.880 --> 00:47:52.120
unless you're married to someone

880
00:47:52.120 --> 00:47:53.880
and you're going to a joint counselor,

881
00:47:53.880 --> 00:47:56.840
having someone, you know,

882
00:47:56.840 --> 00:47:58.720
directing someone to your therapist

883
00:47:58.720 --> 00:48:01.040
so that they can understand you better

884
00:48:02.160 --> 00:48:03.800
after three weeks of knowing them?

885
00:48:03.800 --> 00:48:05.360
Because I'm assuming that that was like,

886
00:48:05.360 --> 00:48:06.560
oh, talk to my therapist

887
00:48:06.560 --> 00:48:07.960
and you'll understand like me better.

888
00:48:07.960 --> 00:48:09.600
You'll understand what I'm dealing with

889
00:48:09.600 --> 00:48:10.560
or what I'm going through.

890
00:48:10.560 --> 00:48:12.400
Was that the purpose?

891
00:48:12.400 --> 00:48:15.480
I think it's more the purpose for,

892
00:48:16.840 --> 00:48:19.000
so he's been divorced for two years.

893
00:48:19.000 --> 00:48:22.440
He remarried like six years ago

894
00:48:22.440 --> 00:48:27.440
and that woman was, according to him

895
00:48:27.440 --> 00:48:31.000
and the therapist and she didn't go into details,

896
00:48:31.000 --> 00:48:34.600
but she confirmed that that lady

897
00:48:34.600 --> 00:48:36.880
was completely off her rocker.

898
00:48:36.880 --> 00:48:37.720
And-

899
00:48:37.720 --> 00:48:38.920
Okay, so what's happening here

900
00:48:38.920 --> 00:48:41.640
is he was having you vetted out by the therapist

901
00:48:41.640 --> 00:48:43.760
to see if you're completely off your rocker.

902
00:48:43.760 --> 00:48:44.600
Exactly.

903
00:48:46.400 --> 00:48:48.760
You just got interviewed by the therapist.

904
00:48:49.520 --> 00:48:50.360
Yeah.

905
00:48:50.360 --> 00:48:51.920
Yeah, did you pass?

906
00:48:51.920 --> 00:48:56.120
I did, I did pass, so that's good.

907
00:48:56.120 --> 00:48:56.960
And it actually-

908
00:48:56.960 --> 00:48:58.160
We're going to give him a pass right now

909
00:48:58.160 --> 00:48:59.000
because you know what?

910
00:48:59.000 --> 00:49:00.160
You know what's happened y'all

911
00:49:00.160 --> 00:49:02.520
is he doesn't have a community like this.

912
00:49:03.400 --> 00:49:04.240
Right.

913
00:49:04.240 --> 00:49:05.520
You know, you guys bring men here,

914
00:49:05.520 --> 00:49:06.720
you bring women here

915
00:49:06.720 --> 00:49:10.520
and you present them to us,

916
00:49:10.520 --> 00:49:13.040
you know, you guys post your scenarios and stuff

917
00:49:13.040 --> 00:49:14.800
so that you can get other eyeballs on it

918
00:49:14.800 --> 00:49:16.400
in case you're still going back

919
00:49:16.400 --> 00:49:19.680
into the same old dysfunctional patterns as before.

920
00:49:19.680 --> 00:49:21.560
So this guy doesn't have a community like this.

921
00:49:21.560 --> 00:49:23.160
All he has is this therapist

922
00:49:23.160 --> 00:49:24.680
that's obviously helped him heal

923
00:49:24.680 --> 00:49:26.280
from whatever he's been through.

924
00:49:26.280 --> 00:49:29.880
And so he's having her be his community like us.

925
00:49:29.880 --> 00:49:30.880
That's what's happening.

926
00:49:30.880 --> 00:49:32.600
Yeah, yeah, I think so too.

927
00:49:32.600 --> 00:49:35.200
Cause at first I was, I was converted out about it

928
00:49:35.200 --> 00:49:37.120
but then when I talked to her,

929
00:49:37.120 --> 00:49:39.120
I actually felt way better

930
00:49:39.120 --> 00:49:42.400
because I was kind of nervous about him too

931
00:49:42.480 --> 00:49:47.480
because of my background being completely duped myself.

932
00:49:49.640 --> 00:49:51.720
And, and, you know, like all of us

933
00:49:51.720 --> 00:49:53.840
like not realizing what we're getting into.

934
00:49:53.840 --> 00:49:57.640
And so it was nice to have her perspective

935
00:49:57.640 --> 00:49:59.400
cause she's known him for,

936
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:01.640
for like 15 years.

937
00:50:01.640 --> 00:50:03.480
He actually met her 15 years ago

938
00:50:03.480 --> 00:50:07.000
when he was saved through their ministry.

939
00:50:07.000 --> 00:50:11.160
And then he went back to her when that marriage went down.

940
00:50:11.160 --> 00:50:15.560
I don't think it's a big deal for her to vet you out

941
00:50:15.560 --> 00:50:17.720
because he's had so much trauma

942
00:50:17.720 --> 00:50:19.560
in the area of picking a woman

943
00:50:19.560 --> 00:50:21.400
because he's essentially doing what we do here.

944
00:50:21.400 --> 00:50:24.520
But if you start to see any codependency

945
00:50:24.520 --> 00:50:26.920
between him and her, he's known her for 15 years.

946
00:50:26.920 --> 00:50:30.280
It sounds like he really leans in a lot to her opinion.

947
00:50:30.280 --> 00:50:32.680
Right now, you have her favor,

948
00:50:32.680 --> 00:50:35.040
but that could change and it could shift.

949
00:50:35.040 --> 00:50:36.320
I know it sounds weird,

950
00:50:36.320 --> 00:50:38.800
but even though she's just his therapist,

951
00:50:38.800 --> 00:50:42.200
people don't like not being needed anymore

952
00:50:42.200 --> 00:50:44.640
when someone else comes along

953
00:50:44.640 --> 00:50:46.960
that someone is needing more than them.

954
00:50:46.960 --> 00:50:50.320
And so you gotta keep an eye on that.

955
00:50:50.320 --> 00:50:51.160
Okay.

956
00:50:51.160 --> 00:50:52.040
Okay.

957
00:50:52.040 --> 00:50:53.240
Okay, good.

958
00:50:53.240 --> 00:50:58.240
And then my question to you is what do you,

959
00:51:00.720 --> 00:51:05.720
should I just deny him the ability to talk to a counselor

960
00:51:06.520 --> 00:51:09.600
that I've seen in the past or just,

961
00:51:10.920 --> 00:51:13.480
I mean, cause there's nothing a counselor is gonna tell him

962
00:51:13.480 --> 00:51:15.160
that is a deep, dark secret

963
00:51:15.160 --> 00:51:16.880
because I don't have any deep, dark secrets,

964
00:51:16.880 --> 00:51:19.160
but his ask for me was-

965
00:51:19.160 --> 00:51:22.360
Okay, so you're saying that he wants to talk

966
00:51:22.400 --> 00:51:24.320
to one of your counselors now?

967
00:51:24.320 --> 00:51:25.800
Yes.

968
00:51:25.800 --> 00:51:26.640
Okay.

969
00:51:26.640 --> 00:51:29.040
So he obviously puts a high priority

970
00:51:29.040 --> 00:51:30.840
on counseling and therapy.

971
00:51:30.840 --> 00:51:34.440
He obviously thinks that that is like where it's at.

972
00:51:34.440 --> 00:51:37.920
And he is wanting to do the same thing

973
00:51:37.920 --> 00:51:40.520
that he did for you with you.

974
00:51:40.520 --> 00:51:43.920
Like it's a deeper level of like vulnerability

975
00:51:43.920 --> 00:51:45.560
or transparency.

976
00:51:46.760 --> 00:51:49.920
I think that what you share with your counselor

977
00:51:49.920 --> 00:51:51.560
is private information.

978
00:51:51.560 --> 00:51:54.800
And I think that it is actually, in my opinion,

979
00:51:54.800 --> 00:51:57.080
it's just because he wanted to do that

980
00:51:57.080 --> 00:52:00.840
doesn't mean that you should do in kind.

981
00:52:00.840 --> 00:52:04.120
I think that it's a violation of boundaries, honestly.

982
00:52:04.120 --> 00:52:04.960
Okay.

983
00:52:04.960 --> 00:52:05.800
I do.

984
00:52:05.800 --> 00:52:08.440
But the thing is, is because he values counseling

985
00:52:08.440 --> 00:52:12.000
and therapy and he values that level of transparency,

986
00:52:12.000 --> 00:52:13.280
he might not take that well

987
00:52:13.280 --> 00:52:15.640
and it might be the end of your relationship.

988
00:52:15.640 --> 00:52:17.160
Right.

989
00:52:17.160 --> 00:52:18.000
Yeah.

990
00:52:18.000 --> 00:52:19.240
I wouldn't do it.

991
00:52:19.240 --> 00:52:20.120
I wouldn't do it.

992
00:52:20.200 --> 00:52:23.880
I don't think it's necessary.

993
00:52:23.880 --> 00:52:27.840
I think that letting him meet your people,

994
00:52:27.840 --> 00:52:29.080
the people that know you well,

995
00:52:29.080 --> 00:52:30.360
if he wants to get to know you,

996
00:52:30.360 --> 00:52:32.640
he can get to know you in community.

997
00:52:32.640 --> 00:52:33.920
The people that you go to church with,

998
00:52:33.920 --> 00:52:35.240
your friends, your family,

999
00:52:35.240 --> 00:52:36.480
that's how you get to know people,

1000
00:52:36.480 --> 00:52:39.120
not by going and meeting with their therapist.

1001
00:52:39.120 --> 00:52:40.600
Okay.

1002
00:52:40.600 --> 00:52:41.440
Okay.

1003
00:52:41.440 --> 00:52:42.280
It's just not a thing.

1004
00:52:43.760 --> 00:52:46.360
And so what I'm getting from this is,

1005
00:52:46.400 --> 00:52:48.240
I mean, he's definitely marriage-minded

1006
00:52:48.240 --> 00:52:52.440
in our moving forward, right?

1007
00:52:52.440 --> 00:52:54.400
Like that's for him,

1008
00:52:54.400 --> 00:52:57.560
because he hasn't been through this community,

1009
00:52:57.560 --> 00:53:00.560
you know, he's considering our time

1010
00:53:02.000 --> 00:53:07.000
as whether or not we would be a marriage-minded relationship.

1011
00:53:08.440 --> 00:53:10.560
I mean, that's what he's thinking, I think.

1012
00:53:10.560 --> 00:53:13.240
You can always invite him here.

1013
00:53:13.240 --> 00:53:14.080
Oh, I will.

1014
00:53:14.080 --> 00:53:16.240
He's actually already, I'm waiting for my link.

1015
00:53:17.120 --> 00:53:19.480
He's already asked me for the info.

1016
00:53:19.480 --> 00:53:22.400
So I will, as soon as I have my link,

1017
00:53:22.400 --> 00:53:24.040
I will be sending it to him.

1018
00:53:24.040 --> 00:53:24.880
Yeah.

1019
00:53:24.880 --> 00:53:25.720
Yeah.

1020
00:53:25.720 --> 00:53:26.920
Well, and we have a great Symbus class

1021
00:53:26.920 --> 00:53:28.200
for all of you that are in any kind

1022
00:53:28.200 --> 00:53:30.480
of marriage-minded relationship,

1023
00:53:30.480 --> 00:53:32.680
even if it's not an engagement.

1024
00:53:32.680 --> 00:53:34.200
Symbus is wonderful.

1025
00:53:34.200 --> 00:53:37.120
It's taught by either me and David or Brian and Bethany,

1026
00:53:37.120 --> 00:53:40.040
and it is called Save Your Marriage Before It Starts,

1027
00:53:40.040 --> 00:53:41.640
S-Y-M-B-I-S,

1028
00:53:41.640 --> 00:53:43.440
and it digs into anything and everything

1029
00:53:43.440 --> 00:53:45.000
you could ever want to know about someone

1030
00:53:45.000 --> 00:53:47.560
before you would move forward with them towards marriage.

1031
00:53:47.560 --> 00:53:49.400
And so, and it's fun too.

1032
00:53:49.400 --> 00:53:52.520
And so we have those at least

1033
00:53:53.400 --> 00:53:56.280
probably every seven to eight weeks, I would say.

1034
00:53:56.280 --> 00:53:58.440
All right, so get in on the next one

1035
00:53:58.440 --> 00:54:00.560
if you guys want to have a good time with that.

1036
00:54:00.560 --> 00:54:02.840
Okay, thank you for those questions.

1037
00:54:02.840 --> 00:54:05.480
Keep us posted, let us know how it goes.

1038
00:54:05.480 --> 00:54:06.520
All right, let's kind of,

1039
00:54:06.520 --> 00:54:07.760
guys, these are taking,

1040
00:54:07.760 --> 00:54:09.560
each one of these is taking a little bit too long,

1041
00:54:09.560 --> 00:54:11.280
so we're going to have to do like a lightning,

1042
00:54:11.280 --> 00:54:12.720
a lightning round.

1043
00:54:12.720 --> 00:54:14.120
So Leslie, you're up,

1044
00:54:14.120 --> 00:54:15.960
but we've got to keep it brief and to the point.

1045
00:54:15.960 --> 00:54:17.920
What is your loveseat question?

1046
00:54:18.760 --> 00:54:19.920
Yes, thank you.

1047
00:54:19.920 --> 00:54:22.720
My loveseat question is this.

1048
00:54:23.640 --> 00:54:27.840
I've been on Facebook, doing the Facebook dating,

1049
00:54:27.840 --> 00:54:31.280
and I'm finding that a lot of the gentlemen there

1050
00:54:31.280 --> 00:54:36.280
are interested in forming an intimate relationship.

1051
00:54:38.520 --> 00:54:39.800
And so once,

1052
00:54:39.840 --> 00:54:42.880
and they're pretty much telling me that upfront.

1053
00:54:42.880 --> 00:54:46.880
And so I have pretty much said no,

1054
00:54:49.280 --> 00:54:51.960
not pretty much, I've said no to all of them.

1055
00:54:51.960 --> 00:54:54.600
And I just want to know,

1056
00:54:54.600 --> 00:54:56.920
is there somewhere else I can go?

1057
00:54:56.920 --> 00:54:59.280
Should I stay on Facebook dating?

1058
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.680
there some type of cue that I can look for

1059
00:55:03.680 --> 00:55:06.160
that will let me know that that man

1060
00:55:06.160 --> 00:55:09.540
is just interested in intimacy?

1061
00:55:09.540 --> 00:55:11.680
I'm just trying to figure it out.

1062
00:55:11.680 --> 00:55:14.160
Here's the thing, and it's such a good question, thank you.

1063
00:55:14.160 --> 00:55:17.920
And when she says intimacy, she's saying sex, y'all, okay?

1064
00:55:17.920 --> 00:55:21.200
She's not saying intimacy, she's saying, you know,

1065
00:55:21.200 --> 00:55:23.520
he wants to, you know, get in the goods.

1066
00:55:23.520 --> 00:55:27.720
And so let's talk about the fact

1067
00:55:27.720 --> 00:55:31.400
that people play their cards pretty quick, all right?

1068
00:55:31.400 --> 00:55:32.960
If that's what someone's interested in,

1069
00:55:32.960 --> 00:55:34.300
they're not usually interested

1070
00:55:34.300 --> 00:55:37.240
in playing the long game to get there, right?

1071
00:55:37.240 --> 00:55:40.840
They usually kind of play those cards really quickly

1072
00:55:40.840 --> 00:55:42.880
in the language that they use with us.

1073
00:55:42.880 --> 00:55:44.760
You know, they might bait a hook, you know, here and there.

1074
00:55:44.760 --> 00:55:46.360
And it's not just men that do this.

1075
00:55:46.360 --> 00:55:48.440
Women do this as well.

1076
00:55:48.440 --> 00:55:50.800
They do, all right?

1077
00:55:51.880 --> 00:55:53.100
They do.

1078
00:55:53.100 --> 00:55:56.520
There's a woman right now who pretended to be a guy

1079
00:55:56.520 --> 00:55:57.360
on a dating app,

1080
00:55:57.360 --> 00:56:00.120
just to see how women would react to her and stuff.

1081
00:56:00.120 --> 00:56:02.960
And women can be just as scandalous as men.

1082
00:56:02.960 --> 00:56:05.520
Just want to let you know that right now, okay?

1083
00:56:05.520 --> 00:56:07.880
So usually, Leslie,

1084
00:56:07.880 --> 00:56:10.080
they're going to let you know pretty quickly.

1085
00:56:10.080 --> 00:56:11.880
They're going to focus in on your looks.

1086
00:56:11.880 --> 00:56:13.320
They're going to focus in on your body.

1087
00:56:13.320 --> 00:56:15.840
They're going to ask you inappropriate questions

1088
00:56:15.840 --> 00:56:17.840
about, you know, different things.

1089
00:56:17.840 --> 00:56:19.480
That's an immediate no.

1090
00:56:19.480 --> 00:56:23.240
Once that happens, it's thank you next, you know,

1091
00:56:23.240 --> 00:56:24.960
because they're not going to play the long game.

1092
00:56:25.000 --> 00:56:26.800
Another thing they do a lot of times

1093
00:56:26.800 --> 00:56:30.280
is they will message you at inappropriate times,

1094
00:56:30.280 --> 00:56:32.480
like late at night, okay?

1095
00:56:32.480 --> 00:56:34.040
Late at night.

1096
00:56:34.040 --> 00:56:34.880
Why?

1097
00:56:34.880 --> 00:56:36.040
Because they probably had a couple of drinks

1098
00:56:36.040 --> 00:56:37.480
and now they're just horny

1099
00:56:37.480 --> 00:56:39.880
looking for someone to talk to.

1100
00:56:39.880 --> 00:56:41.040
Yeah.

1101
00:56:41.040 --> 00:56:43.520
Yes, friends, this is what happens, okay?

1102
00:56:43.520 --> 00:56:46.360
And so if they message you late at night,

1103
00:56:46.360 --> 00:56:50.120
it's an immediate bless them and block them, right?

1104
00:56:50.120 --> 00:56:52.440
Sometimes we don't give people even a second chance

1105
00:56:52.440 --> 00:56:53.640
once we see.

1106
00:56:53.640 --> 00:56:56.600
We're like, no, I don't have time for that.

1107
00:56:56.600 --> 00:56:58.960
And here's why it's so important,

1108
00:56:58.960 --> 00:57:02.160
because if you entertain men or women like that,

1109
00:57:02.160 --> 00:57:03.960
gentlemen, if you entertain women like that,

1110
00:57:03.960 --> 00:57:06.480
that are just after your paycheck

1111
00:57:06.480 --> 00:57:08.920
or, you know, show that they don't have real interest in you

1112
00:57:08.920 --> 00:57:10.320
beyond what you can do for them,

1113
00:57:10.320 --> 00:57:12.720
or women that, you know, doesn't happen as often,

1114
00:57:12.720 --> 00:57:15.280
but you can tell that they're, you know,

1115
00:57:15.280 --> 00:57:18.880
immoral as far as what they physically want from you.

1116
00:57:18.880 --> 00:57:21.680
And then women with men, that happens a lot more

1117
00:57:21.680 --> 00:57:24.560
with men being physically inappropriate,

1118
00:57:24.560 --> 00:57:27.120
like, you know, trying to get physically inappropriate

1119
00:57:27.120 --> 00:57:29.520
and being verbally inappropriate.

1120
00:57:29.520 --> 00:57:31.400
If we block those people quick, y'all,

1121
00:57:31.400 --> 00:57:34.400
if we cut that off fast, then what does it do?

1122
00:57:34.400 --> 00:57:37.320
It reserves our time and energy

1123
00:57:37.320 --> 00:57:42.120
and our bandwidth for someone who's not looking for that,

1124
00:57:43.040 --> 00:57:44.760
right, right off the bat,

1125
00:57:45.600 --> 00:57:47.040
only thing they're looking for.

1126
00:57:47.040 --> 00:57:50.240
And also it doesn't jade our minds

1127
00:57:50.240 --> 00:57:51.760
that this is all men want.

1128
00:57:54.760 --> 00:57:55.840
This is all they want.

1129
00:57:57.080 --> 00:57:58.600
I hear men all the time say to me,

1130
00:57:58.600 --> 00:57:59.840
all women want is money.

1131
00:57:59.840 --> 00:58:01.200
All they want is a free ride.

1132
00:58:01.200 --> 00:58:02.440
All they want is a paycheck.

1133
00:58:02.440 --> 00:58:03.920
All they want is someone to take care of them

1134
00:58:03.920 --> 00:58:05.160
so they can do whatever they want.

1135
00:58:05.160 --> 00:58:06.000
You know why?

1136
00:58:06.000 --> 00:58:07.000
Because those men,

1137
00:58:07.000 --> 00:58:09.720
they entertain too many women that were like that,

1138
00:58:09.720 --> 00:58:13.640
and now it has just jaded their minds.

1139
00:58:14.760 --> 00:58:17.200
So in order for us not get jaded against men,

1140
00:58:17.200 --> 00:58:18.960
oh, all they want is sex.

1141
00:58:18.960 --> 00:58:20.240
All they want to do is sex.

1142
00:58:20.240 --> 00:58:21.760
All they want to do is talk about sex.

1143
00:58:21.760 --> 00:58:22.840
All they want to do is, you know,

1144
00:58:22.840 --> 00:58:25.120
try to do this or that.

1145
00:58:25.120 --> 00:58:26.840
Cut it off really quickly

1146
00:58:26.840 --> 00:58:28.520
so that you don't end up thinking

1147
00:58:28.520 --> 00:58:30.360
that that's all the men out there

1148
00:58:30.360 --> 00:58:32.040
and that's all that they want.

1149
00:58:32.040 --> 00:58:36.280
Don't let it go even past hello, right?

1150
00:58:36.280 --> 00:58:38.120
As soon as you see it, it's over.

1151
00:58:39.000 --> 00:58:40.240
Bless them and block them.

1152
00:58:40.240 --> 00:58:41.680
Don't leave the door open.

1153
00:58:41.680 --> 00:58:43.240
And you know what else?

1154
00:58:43.240 --> 00:58:45.640
Don't try to save them, sister Christian.

1155
00:58:46.640 --> 00:58:49.160
Okay, don't try to save them.

1156
00:58:49.160 --> 00:58:50.480
And I'm not talking to my friend

1157
00:58:50.480 --> 00:58:52.560
that was just on here talking to me.

1158
00:58:52.560 --> 00:58:54.080
I don't think she probably tries to do that,

1159
00:58:54.080 --> 00:58:56.720
but some of you ladies would probably be

1160
00:58:56.720 --> 00:59:00.080
trying to talk them into being a good man,

1161
00:59:00.080 --> 00:59:02.600
trying to talk them into being respectful

1162
00:59:02.600 --> 00:59:05.760
or trying to talk them into not treating you that way.

1163
00:59:05.760 --> 00:59:08.760
Why would you waste your time on that?

1164
00:59:10.480 --> 00:59:12.280
Your job is not to lead them to Jesus.

1165
00:59:12.280 --> 00:59:14.120
Bless them and block them and move on.

1166
00:59:14.120 --> 00:59:15.960
Okay, so my answer to her is,

1167
00:59:15.960 --> 00:59:19.200
as soon as you see signs of it, goodbye, moving forward.

1168
00:59:19.200 --> 00:59:21.360
And the answer to her question about

1169
00:59:21.360 --> 00:59:23.040
should I go to a different platform?

1170
00:59:23.040 --> 00:59:26.360
No, because it's everywhere.

1171
00:59:26.360 --> 00:59:28.160
But there's also good men everywhere.

1172
00:59:28.160 --> 00:59:29.880
There's also men that are marriage minded

1173
00:59:29.880 --> 00:59:31.280
everywhere as well.

1174
00:59:31.280 --> 00:59:32.840
And so what we have to do

1175
00:59:32.840 --> 00:59:35.400
is we have to cut off the other ones quickly

1176
00:59:35.400 --> 00:59:37.280
so we make room for the new ones.

1177
00:59:37.280 --> 00:59:39.880
And if you're swiping on a certain type of man,

1178
00:59:39.880 --> 00:59:42.880
ask yourself, am I picking the guys that are like this?

1179
00:59:42.880 --> 00:59:45.440
What do all the guys I swipe on have in common?

1180
00:59:46.480 --> 00:59:47.520
What do they have in common?

1181
00:59:47.520 --> 00:59:49.600
Because maybe I'm choosing this type of man.

1182
00:59:49.600 --> 00:59:50.760
And then the next thing you can do

1183
00:59:50.760 --> 00:59:54.720
is make sure that your pictures, lady, your profile,

1184
00:59:54.720 --> 00:59:55.560
the things you've written

1185
00:59:55.560 --> 00:59:58.120
and the way you've presented yourself,

1186
00:59:58.120 --> 00:59:59.400
and I'm not saying she's doing this,

1187
00:59:59.400 --> 01:00:00.520
but this is something.

1188
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.320
and y'all need to look at, does it in any way, shape or form

1189
01:00:04.320 --> 01:00:12.000
suggest that you are open to, you know, sex or sexual

1190
01:00:12.000 --> 01:00:17.240
comments? Case in point, I know that this is year 2024. I know

1191
01:00:17.240 --> 01:00:20.320
women can dress however they want to. But if you go around

1192
01:00:20.320 --> 01:00:23.080
with your boobies out, men are going to want to have sex with

1193
01:00:23.080 --> 01:00:26.480
you. I'm just gonna tell you that right now. If you have a

1194
01:00:26.480 --> 01:00:30.160
picture on a dating app, that's you and all boobs, you're gonna

1195
01:00:30.160 --> 01:00:35.720
attract the wrong kind of people. You are. Now, can you

1196
01:00:36.080 --> 01:00:40.400
have a bikini picture? Sure. But should you post it on a date on

1197
01:00:40.400 --> 01:00:44.800
a dating app? No, you shouldn't. Why? Because the people that are

1198
01:00:44.800 --> 01:00:49.880
looking for that are looking for skin, the more skin that you're

1199
01:00:49.880 --> 01:00:56.000
showing, especially the you know, the spicy skin, if you're

1200
01:00:56.000 --> 01:01:00.000
showing the spicy skin, then that's what you're gonna get. If

1201
01:01:00.000 --> 01:01:03.880
you're if your pictures have skin tight clothes on that leave

1202
01:01:03.880 --> 01:01:07.520
nothing to the imagination, that's what you're gonna get. I'm

1203
01:01:07.520 --> 01:01:10.520
not saying that you got to dress like grandma Moses. But I am

1204
01:01:10.520 --> 01:01:15.200
saying that whatever you are baiting the hook with is what

1205
01:01:15.200 --> 01:01:22.200
you're going to catch. All right, keep it in mind. All

1206
01:01:22.200 --> 01:01:30.280
right. If I go on a dating app, and all I'm all I'm all I'm

1207
01:01:30.280 --> 01:01:35.680
swiping on are guys that are in finance that drive Ferraris that

1208
01:01:35.720 --> 01:01:40.240
you know, are you know, their favorite pastime is drinking old

1209
01:01:40.320 --> 01:01:44.080
scotch, then what do you think those guys are going to have in

1210
01:01:44.080 --> 01:01:51.600
common? They like money. Right? They like money. They like image.

1211
01:01:52.800 --> 01:01:54.520
They like, you know,

1212
01:02:00.800 --> 01:02:05.880
prestige. Okay, so look at the people that you're swiping on and

1213
01:02:05.880 --> 01:02:11.280
ask yourself, what do all these people have in common? And do

1214
01:02:11.280 --> 01:02:18.480
they have in common the things that I would want in a spirit

1215
01:02:18.480 --> 01:02:30.600
mate? Cool. You get it? Sorry, guys, it's raining so hard. I

1216
01:02:30.600 --> 01:02:33.680
can barely even hear I'm like screaming over here. Because

1217
01:02:33.680 --> 01:02:39.480
it's raining so hard at my house right now. Spicy skin. Yeah.

1218
01:02:42.080 --> 01:02:47.520
Got it. Thank you. So let so Leslie, all the guys that have

1219
01:02:47.520 --> 01:02:51.360
tried to hit you up for a little booty call. What do they

1220
01:02:51.360 --> 01:02:53.960
have in common? I want you to sit down with Holy Spirit and

1221
01:02:53.960 --> 01:02:57.360
see what do all of their profiles have in common? Okay.

1222
01:03:02.520 --> 01:03:05.520
Because you're on an app where they got to choose you and you

1223
01:03:05.520 --> 01:03:08.360
got to choose them back. So why did you why did you choose them

1224
01:03:08.360 --> 01:03:11.880
back? Like why did you say yes to them? What made you say yes?

1225
01:03:11.920 --> 01:03:15.880
And what is the attractor for you in all of those scenarios?

1226
01:03:15.880 --> 01:03:19.840
What caused you to say yes to that connection in all of those

1227
01:03:19.840 --> 01:03:27.360
scenarios? Does that make sense? Yes. All right, then report

1228
01:03:27.360 --> 01:03:31.200
back. Because there are good men out there that do not want to

1229
01:03:31.200 --> 01:03:36.480
have sex with you. Until they're married to you. They are they

1230
01:03:36.480 --> 01:03:39.880
exist. I promise you they exist. They do want to have sex. They

1231
01:03:39.880 --> 01:03:43.160
do want to have sex. Leslie, do not misunderstand me. They do.

1232
01:03:43.360 --> 01:03:46.360
But they also want to respect you and God. And those are the

1233
01:03:46.360 --> 01:03:50.640
men you're looking for. Amen. Amen, girl. It's gonna happen.

1234
01:03:51.440 --> 01:03:54.800
Okay, well, you guys what I'm going to give one ounce of our

1235
01:03:54.800 --> 01:03:59.560
attention or time to the guys that are not like that. But I

1236
01:03:59.560 --> 01:04:02.760
want to tell you something about them that I know to be true. A

1237
01:04:02.760 --> 01:04:06.480
lot of times they're fun. And they're funny. And they have a

1238
01:04:06.480 --> 01:04:10.280
lot of charisma. They're very charismatic. All right. They're

1239
01:04:10.280 --> 01:04:14.400
smooth talking. I used to like the smooth talking guys. All

1240
01:04:14.400 --> 01:04:18.160
right. So be careful. Be careful of yourself. Because there's

1241
01:04:18.160 --> 01:04:21.120
some things that you like about those guys. Even though you

1242
01:04:21.120 --> 01:04:23.520
don't like what you say you don't like about them. There are

1243
01:04:23.520 --> 01:04:26.640
some things we do like about them. And so we've got to own

1244
01:04:26.640 --> 01:04:31.520
that. Okay, let's own it. All right. So Jessica, all right,

1245
01:04:31.520 --> 01:04:33.240
short, brief and powerful. What you got, girl?

1246
01:04:34.520 --> 01:04:37.480
Okay, my anxiety immediately like kick things. I'm like,

1247
01:04:37.480 --> 01:04:40.880
okay, I've got notes here. So you wanted an update about a

1248
01:04:40.880 --> 01:04:45.960
question that I asked back in mid December. I'm sure there's a

1249
01:04:45.960 --> 01:04:48.360
replay somewhere, but I don't know. I haven't been able to

1250
01:04:48.360 --> 01:04:52.720
locate it. Anywho, I was in a relationship with a guy that we

1251
01:04:52.720 --> 01:04:56.120
reconnected. We dated when I was like in junior high. He was in

1252
01:04:56.120 --> 01:04:59.840
high school. At the time I was living in Redding, California.

1253
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:05.200
and I was about to move back to the south and he ended up coming out to California

1254
01:05:05.200 --> 01:05:11.040
and then he kind of had like this uh anxiety panic attack and okay yeah I remember this story

1255
01:05:11.840 --> 01:05:18.400
he was struggling with anxiety and depression yeah and uh I was he had never like he said

1256
01:05:18.400 --> 01:05:23.280
that he never really thought of himself as getting married um but that maybe he would

1257
01:05:23.280 --> 01:05:33.680
now because I was in the picture um and then um he said that you know he wasn't really wanting

1258
01:05:33.680 --> 01:05:41.040
to have children um but also like he wanted to change but didn't know how to and so um

1259
01:05:42.800 --> 01:05:49.360
yeah I was encouraged to like be prying about it and um that like if he says he doesn't want

1260
01:05:49.360 --> 01:05:55.360
to have children that I kind of need to like believe him and so it got to a point to where

1261
01:05:55.360 --> 01:06:00.320
it was like okay I feel like emotionally in my heart like I'm about to be like at a place

1262
01:06:00.320 --> 01:06:06.320
like a point of no return kind of thing um and there were so many things that were great about it

1263
01:06:06.320 --> 01:06:13.360
but then there were just like a couple of things that were like like weird or like or just not

1264
01:06:13.360 --> 01:06:19.120
something was off like there's a check in my spirit um so I ended up having a conversation

1265
01:06:19.120 --> 01:06:27.040
with him at like the end of January 1st of February and um just shared that just shared

1266
01:06:27.040 --> 01:06:35.040
my heart with him and um so I broke things off um I didn't know I don't know if maybe somewhere

1267
01:06:35.040 --> 01:06:39.280
I thought that maybe I don't know I could sit here for like seriously hours and tell you all

1268
01:06:39.280 --> 01:06:43.760
these different angles because I know but we don't got time girl I know I'm gonna just like

1269
01:06:43.760 --> 01:06:52.640
cut to the point um so I we parted ways and then I started working this new job in Louisiana

1270
01:06:52.640 --> 01:06:58.400
I started dating someone else or getting to know someone else um and it was two months later

1271
01:06:59.120 --> 01:07:07.760
my brother like comes to tell me one morning that this guy uh died because he he shot himself the

1272
01:07:07.760 --> 01:07:16.720
night before so um I've been like yeah grieving and processing all that and um looking at it from

1273
01:07:16.720 --> 01:07:29.120
all these different angles my question is like how do I like because I know even in the midst of all

1274
01:07:29.120 --> 01:07:34.000
of this like God knew all of the things that were going to happen I'm also aware that people have

1275
01:07:34.000 --> 01:07:42.080
free choice like free will and so um okay so first of all I just want to let you know

1276
01:07:43.520 --> 01:07:49.120
that if you would not have broken things off with him in January and you were still with him dating

1277
01:07:49.120 --> 01:07:57.840
him you know God forbid married to him he still would have killed himself okay you you couldn't

1278
01:07:57.840 --> 01:08:03.440
have changed the trajectory of this right this is him doing this it has nothing to do with you

1279
01:08:03.440 --> 01:08:07.360
doesn't have to do with the disappointment of not being with you he told you when he visited

1280
01:08:07.360 --> 01:08:13.600
you that he has severe anxiety issues okay he told you that he was struggling with his mental health

1281
01:08:14.720 --> 01:08:20.640
okay what has happened here is that you opted out of being part of that struggle

1282
01:08:23.600 --> 01:08:28.640
you opted out of being part of that struggle you made a decision you did not have peace in

1283
01:08:28.640 --> 01:08:36.319
your spirit y'all this is why it's so important to follow after peace okay follow peace yes

1284
01:08:36.319 --> 01:08:41.120
right embrace peace she didn't have peace about continuing the relationship she didn't continue

1285
01:08:41.120 --> 01:08:45.680
the relationship somewhere down the line of this year this man took his life this is a very tragic

1286
01:08:45.680 --> 01:08:54.080
situation very tragic but also not something that you had a front row seat to because you

1287
01:08:54.080 --> 01:08:59.120
were buying a ticket to a front row seat to this man's struggle and you are not you were not

1288
01:08:59.120 --> 01:09:05.680
involved with it okay and because God checked your spirit like you said you're using that word checked

1289
01:09:05.680 --> 01:09:11.439
my spirit meaning that you knew it wasn't the right thing for you and you put up a boundary

1290
01:09:12.000 --> 01:09:17.439
and you went a different way and I think that's great I think it's wonderful guys when it comes

1291
01:09:17.439 --> 01:09:23.760
to suicide it's very very misunderstood what happens to people especially when their mental

1292
01:09:23.760 --> 01:09:30.560
health causes them to take their own lives I know that the old religious people like back in the day

1293
01:09:30.560 --> 01:09:36.000
the religious idea is that those people go straight to hell I do not believe that that's true okay

1294
01:09:36.000 --> 01:09:40.640
I do not believe that I believe that these people are caught in a web of lies I believe that they

1295
01:09:40.640 --> 01:09:46.720
are being held hostage in their minds by so much demonic intrusive thoughts I think that God is a

1296
01:09:46.720 --> 01:09:53.120
loving and gracious God and I do not believe that suicide is the unforgivable sin and so if you

1297
01:09:53.120 --> 01:09:59.840
believe that it's not biblical it's not scriptural okay it isn't

1298
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.120
Um, and I'm really sorry that that happened with your friends.

1299
01:10:03.120 --> 01:10:04.920
You obviously cared about this man.

1300
01:10:04.920 --> 01:10:09.460
And yes, it is appropriate for you to grieve, but also it's appropriate to be

1301
01:10:09.460 --> 01:10:14.880
very thankful that the Lord did not allow you to go forward into a romantic

1302
01:10:14.880 --> 01:10:18.240
relationship, possible, even possible marriage with this man.

1303
01:10:18.760 --> 01:10:21.400
Um, and so that's something to be thankful for as well.

1304
01:10:23.480 --> 01:10:26.360
Well, and there's a part of me too, that's like, I'm so aware, like whenever

1305
01:10:26.360 --> 01:10:29.680
you talk about the war on marriage and like, there's this part of me that's

1306
01:10:29.680 --> 01:10:33.760
like very aggressive and like, cause I never, if you had asked me whenever I

1307
01:10:33.760 --> 01:10:36.680
was younger, would this be like some big dream of my life?

1308
01:10:36.680 --> 01:10:40.520
Like I always just like, of course, to be married and to have a family and

1309
01:10:40.520 --> 01:10:44.080
things and like just seeing society today and how it's all playing out.

1310
01:10:44.240 --> 01:10:44.620
Yes.

1311
01:10:44.620 --> 01:10:49.320
There's part of me that wants to be even all the more like intentional.

1312
01:10:49.320 --> 01:10:52.200
And, and, you know, and I'm thankful too, that you've mentioned that there's

1313
01:10:52.200 --> 01:10:57.360
not just one person for everybody, but like, it's about like, are you on the

1314
01:10:57.360 --> 01:11:01.360
same path or are you like your spirit mate, like you're doing kingdom business

1315
01:11:01.360 --> 01:11:06.040
together, whether that is just being married and loving each other and being

1316
01:11:06.040 --> 01:11:11.200
your representation of that to the world or yeah, whatever, you know, business

1317
01:11:11.200 --> 01:11:13.800
or, or whatever sort of things that you might be doing together.

1318
01:11:14.200 --> 01:11:19.760
Um, but yeah, I just, I'm like, I think that, uh, I've just noticed because

1319
01:11:19.760 --> 01:11:25.160
that happened back in April and, um, like just like these sort of, yeah, I guess.

1320
01:11:25.200 --> 01:11:25.680
I don't know.

1321
01:11:25.760 --> 01:11:27.600
I think someone posted like survivors.

1322
01:11:27.840 --> 01:11:31.920
I don't know, but basically guilt and just like trying to like, you

1323
01:11:31.920 --> 01:11:33.520
know, not beating myself up about it.

1324
01:11:33.520 --> 01:11:36.080
So we just super appreciate prayers.

1325
01:11:36.120 --> 01:11:39.240
And also if you have any suggestions about how I can move through

1326
01:11:39.240 --> 01:11:41.280
this, I'd super appreciate that.

1327
01:11:42.760 --> 01:11:45.560
Yeah, no, I mean, that's why I told you that it isn't your fault and there

1328
01:11:45.560 --> 01:11:47.040
isn't any way that you could change that.

1329
01:11:47.080 --> 01:11:50.720
Oftentimes people will think, well, if I would have done this or that, then I

1330
01:11:50.720 --> 01:11:54.280
could have changed the trajectory of this person's outcome and that's not true.

1331
01:11:55.440 --> 01:11:57.240
It isn't, it's just not true.

1332
01:11:57.680 --> 01:12:02.920
Um, and so it's important that we do not, um, make up stories like that.

1333
01:12:03.760 --> 01:12:07.880
And if any of you have a story like that right now, where you had someone that you

1334
01:12:07.880 --> 01:12:11.800
cared about that passed away, regardless of whether it was in an accident, whether

1335
01:12:11.800 --> 01:12:16.280
it was by self harm, whether it was because of a disease and you have entertained the

1336
01:12:16.280 --> 01:12:20.680
thought that if I would have done X, Y, Z differently, maybe they would still be

1337
01:12:20.680 --> 01:12:21.200
alive.

1338
01:12:21.200 --> 01:12:24.800
If I would have taken them to get a second opinion, if I would have, you

1339
01:12:24.800 --> 01:12:28.520
know, tried to get them to go to this therapy or that therapy, or if I would

1340
01:12:28.520 --> 01:12:31.920
have just been there that night, or if, you know, if, if we wouldn't have gotten

1341
01:12:31.920 --> 01:12:35.040
to that argument and they wouldn't have gotten the car, you know, whatever, raise

1342
01:12:35.040 --> 01:12:35.640
your hand.

1343
01:12:35.640 --> 01:12:42.880
If you have had some type of guilt about someone else passing away and you wishing

1344
01:12:42.880 --> 01:12:48.920
that you would have, or could have done something differently and have made up

1345
01:12:48.920 --> 01:12:52.840
stories in your mind about how that could have saved them.

1346
01:12:52.840 --> 01:12:54.560
You guys, that's a normal part of grief.

1347
01:12:54.800 --> 01:12:55.720
It's called bargaining.

1348
01:12:56.480 --> 01:12:57.480
It's a normal part of grief.

1349
01:12:57.640 --> 01:13:01.280
Well, if I would have done this different, well, you know, just, and even playing it

1350
01:13:01.280 --> 01:13:04.720
out in your mind of what it would look like for you to do this different thing

1351
01:13:04.720 --> 01:13:08.200
that you thought maybe could have changed it.

1352
01:13:08.960 --> 01:13:09.280
Right.

1353
01:13:09.280 --> 01:13:12.120
Cause hindsight's 20, 20, and you look back and say, well, maybe I could have

1354
01:13:12.120 --> 01:13:14.560
done this, or maybe I could have done that, but what if this would have

1355
01:13:14.560 --> 01:13:15.480
happened instead of this?

1356
01:13:15.880 --> 01:13:16.640
Stop that.

1357
01:13:17.320 --> 01:13:19.120
Stop torturing yourself that way.

1358
01:13:19.600 --> 01:13:20.640
You know, my mom was sick.

1359
01:13:20.640 --> 01:13:23.800
She died of fourth stage metastatic breast cancer.

1360
01:13:24.360 --> 01:13:30.040
To her bones, to her brain, um, to her lungs and essentially of COVID before

1361
01:13:30.040 --> 01:13:33.840
people knew what COVID was in the hospital, she passed away of all of those

1362
01:13:33.840 --> 01:13:37.960
things on a ventilator in the ICU in a way that no one should ever see a loved

1363
01:13:37.960 --> 01:13:38.880
one pass away.

1364
01:13:39.360 --> 01:13:41.640
And that was four years ago.

1365
01:13:41.720 --> 01:13:44.840
And since she's passed, I can't tell you how many times it has tried

1366
01:13:44.840 --> 01:13:46.760
to enter into my mind space.

1367
01:13:47.000 --> 01:13:49.160
Well, if you would have just done this differently, if you would have got

1368
01:13:49.160 --> 01:13:52.760
the second opinion, you know, if you would have just, you know, made her do

1369
01:13:52.760 --> 01:13:56.760
this diet or that diet or try this supplement or do this, first of all,

1370
01:13:56.760 --> 01:13:59.320
y'all, my mom wasn't open to doing any of that stuff.

1371
01:13:59.600 --> 01:14:00.040
Okay.

1372
01:14:00.160 --> 01:14:01.160
She's got free will.

1373
01:14:01.360 --> 01:14:02.840
And I couldn't even get her to juice.

1374
01:14:03.320 --> 01:14:03.600
Right.

1375
01:14:03.600 --> 01:14:06.440
Because she was like, the vegetables are still dirty, even if you cleaned them.

1376
01:14:06.680 --> 01:14:07.000
All right.

1377
01:14:07.000 --> 01:14:14.400
So there isn't anything that I could have done nothing, but your mind will

1378
01:14:14.400 --> 01:14:15.840
still try to tell you there is.

1379
01:14:17.240 --> 01:14:18.520
So you've got to shut it down.

1380
01:14:18.720 --> 01:14:21.560
Go listen to my supernatural Saturday about thinking about what you're thinking

1381
01:14:21.560 --> 01:14:22.840
about, you've got to shut it down.

1382
01:14:23.440 --> 01:14:23.800
All right.

1383
01:14:23.800 --> 01:14:28.520
So, um, one thing that I think that you can do, uh, my friend, Jessica is you

1384
01:14:28.520 --> 01:14:30.600
could read a book called imagine heaven.

1385
01:14:31.680 --> 01:14:38.120
And it talks about what people experience after they pass away, based on hundreds

1386
01:14:38.200 --> 01:14:41.360
of near death experiences of people that were interviewed for this book.

1387
01:14:41.560 --> 01:14:42.600
And it's powerful.

1388
01:14:42.880 --> 01:14:47.240
And I think that it will help you come into a peace about where your friend is

1389
01:14:47.520 --> 01:14:50.200
and what he's experiencing because of the grace and goodness of God.

1390
01:14:50.720 --> 01:14:51.120
All right.

1391
01:14:51.320 --> 01:14:53.480
And then ask God to continue to heal your heart.

1392
01:14:53.720 --> 01:14:59.000
Psalm promises us that he's close to the brokenhearted and he is, um, with

1393
01:14:59.000 --> 01:14:59.920
those that are questions.

1394
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:06.320
spirit, right? And so, uh, yes, we pray for your heart and specifically for your mind

1395
01:15:06.320 --> 01:15:10.320
to be free from guilt and shame in Jesus name. Okay. You guys, we got to go through these

1396
01:15:10.320 --> 01:15:17.080
Ruth. You're up. You guys said, listen, when I say brief, I mean brief. Okay. Because all

1397
01:15:17.080 --> 01:15:20.520
of these that I've said brief to have not been brief. So we've just got to do it brief.

1398
01:15:20.520 --> 01:15:26.200
All right. I'll try to make this week. Um, so my question is more theoretical. Thank

1399
01:15:26.680 --> 01:15:34.120
you for taking the question, by the way. Um, so I have a very close relationship with God.

1400
01:15:34.120 --> 01:15:42.040
I've always heard God very clearly ever since I was a child. And I often will like talk

1401
01:15:42.040 --> 01:15:48.400
to God about the dates I'm going on or before I go on them. And God will often be like,

1402
01:15:48.400 --> 01:15:54.480
that's not for you. And he did this with my ex-husband. He did this with my last boyfriend.

1403
01:15:54.720 --> 01:16:00.240
Okay. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Okay. I have read your question in the ask Jackie.

1404
01:16:00.240 --> 01:16:07.040
Um, and so I want to ask you a different question before God, before God, and I'm not saying God

1405
01:16:07.040 --> 01:16:10.800
doesn't talk to you, but it's important because a lot of y'all in here, I've got religious OCD

1406
01:16:10.800 --> 01:16:16.720
and you think God's always saying no to everything. So I got to address this. Okay. Before God says

1407
01:16:16.720 --> 01:16:25.200
to you, Ruth, that's not for you. Do you ever have anything inside of you that is already

1408
01:16:25.920 --> 01:16:32.400
seeing some discrepancies and some possible flags? That is a good question. Um,

1409
01:16:36.160 --> 01:16:46.000
so I'm trying to think sometimes yes or no. It's a yes. It's, but no, but it's because

1410
01:16:46.960 --> 01:16:51.760
the way I was raised, I was raised to accept things that were unhealthy as healthy.

1411
01:16:52.480 --> 01:16:57.040
And so I think it's been God's protection. Cause there was like several guys that it was super

1412
01:16:57.040 --> 01:17:02.240
into at my churches back home. But even though, even though you, even though you were raised to

1413
01:17:02.240 --> 01:17:08.160
see healthy thing, unhealthy things as healthy, you did notice them before God said, this is not

1414
01:17:08.160 --> 01:17:12.720
for you. You did notice those things, regardless of whether you were trying to make them healthy

1415
01:17:12.720 --> 01:17:19.200
in your mind. No. Like there was one guy, his name was Jordan. God literally told me like before

1416
01:17:19.200 --> 01:17:23.120
I even met him, he was like, this guy is not for you. You're going to marry somebody similar to him.

1417
01:17:24.160 --> 01:17:29.200
Okay. So this is where it gets off into what I don't think is good. All right. So I'm going to

1418
01:17:29.200 --> 01:17:34.320
go ahead and coach you in this because all of you need to hear this. All right. First and foremost,

1419
01:17:34.320 --> 01:17:40.880
we need to meet people. If you're really scared that you're the kind of person who's going to

1420
01:17:40.880 --> 01:17:46.160
be anxiously attached to someone who's unhealthy and end up in an abusive relationship. That's what

1421
01:17:46.160 --> 01:17:51.520
this community is for is for you to come here. And if you're honest and transparent about your

1422
01:17:51.520 --> 01:17:56.400
experience with the person that you're talking to, we will check you before you wreck you.

1423
01:17:56.400 --> 01:18:01.600
And if you're teachable, then you'll be all right, because we're part of your God defense system.

1424
01:18:01.600 --> 01:18:06.720
That's what this is about. The coaches here, your peers here, that is what this is about. So you do

1425
01:18:06.720 --> 01:18:12.560
not have to be hyper-vigilant in your own safety and always feel like God is always telling you,

1426
01:18:12.560 --> 01:18:16.560
no, I know you guys hear from the Lord. I know some of you hear from the Lord prolifically,

1427
01:18:16.560 --> 01:18:21.760
but in this area of your life, along with a couple other areas, but this area specifically,

1428
01:18:21.760 --> 01:18:27.520
so many people keep themselves from growing by always feeling like God is telling them,

1429
01:18:27.520 --> 01:18:37.280
no, like an authoritarian parent. Okay. As a parent of three grown people, I will tell you,

1430
01:18:37.280 --> 01:18:42.480
there are plenty of times when I raised them, when they wanted to do something that I knew it wasn't

1431
01:18:42.480 --> 01:18:48.800
dangerous. Okay. But I knew that it wasn't the best use of their time, their energy, their talent.

1432
01:18:48.800 --> 01:18:54.080
It wasn't the best friend that they were choosing to hang with at the moment. Once again, not

1433
01:18:54.080 --> 01:19:00.240
dangerous situations, but also not expedient situations. And you know what, as a parent,

1434
01:19:00.240 --> 01:19:06.000
I let them find that out themselves. You know why? Because you got to do that. So if daddy,

1435
01:19:06.000 --> 01:19:11.120
God is always keeping us from making any mistakes or meeting anyone we shouldn't,

1436
01:19:11.120 --> 01:19:16.800
or being able to exercise our free will or grow in our understanding, wisdom, revelation, and grace,

1437
01:19:16.800 --> 01:19:24.240
then that is not God. That's religion. Okay. Okay. Keeping us immature, keeping us dependent.

1438
01:19:24.240 --> 01:19:29.120
And so Ruth, I'm just going to tell you from now on, if you hear God's voice telling, you know,

1439
01:19:29.120 --> 01:19:33.600
before you even get started it's important that you get a confirmation of that

1440
01:19:34.400 --> 01:19:39.280
outside of yourself and not by asking someone for a confirmation, just simply say, Hey God,

1441
01:19:39.280 --> 01:19:45.120
you know what, if this is really you and you don't even want me to even take one step foot on this

1442
01:19:45.120 --> 01:19:51.840
road, then I'm going to need a confirmation in that because I may be preventing myself from

1443
01:19:51.840 --> 01:19:58.960
maturing. Okay. I guess, I guess the confusion is I haven't necessarily put too much clout in it.

1444
01:19:58.960 --> 01:19:59.760
I've always like,

1445
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.720
taking the time to get to know the person. And then later on, it's like, Oh, so I guess like

1446
01:20:04.720 --> 01:20:11.200
where I'm like, okay, do I need to like step back or what? So I guess that's where my confusion is,

1447
01:20:11.840 --> 01:20:16.000
but maybe I'm just doing the right thing and continue doing what I'm doing.

1448
01:20:17.120 --> 01:20:21.920
No, I mean, if you're continuing to go forward, even though you think God's telling, you know,

1449
01:20:21.920 --> 01:20:28.080
then, um, and seeing, you know, it play out as far as whether or not it's going to be something,

1450
01:20:28.080 --> 01:20:32.880
you know, that, that's going to go forward in your life or not, then that's good. Because once

1451
01:20:32.880 --> 01:20:41.600
again, there are, there are times when God keeps us from disaster, you guys with a firm, no, yes,

1452
01:20:41.600 --> 01:20:45.600
there are times when that happens. Just like me as a parent, there were times when I would say,

1453
01:20:45.600 --> 01:20:53.600
absolutely not no way, no shape, no form. But if all you ever hear God say in your life is no,

1454
01:20:54.160 --> 01:20:58.720
then something's a miss. Does that make sense to everybody?

1455
01:21:01.280 --> 01:21:08.800
And if it's always just, no, if God's just the no guy, then something is a miss. So yes, if Ruth,

1456
01:21:08.800 --> 01:21:14.560
if you're taking a step forward and checking it out and making sure that, you know, you are hearing

1457
01:21:14.560 --> 01:21:20.720
right and good, keep doing that. All right. Thank you for that question. Cause that brought up a

1458
01:21:20.720 --> 01:21:26.080
really important topic. You guys are going to do an entire series. We did a series on relationship

1459
01:21:26.080 --> 01:21:33.440
anxiety and attachment styles, but we're going to do an entire series on relationship and religious

1460
01:21:33.440 --> 01:21:40.160
OCD. Okay. People that have intrusive and obsessive thoughts that they think are from God

1461
01:21:40.880 --> 01:21:45.920
and that are usually surrounding relationship. And we're going to do that real soon. We're going

1462
01:21:45.920 --> 01:21:49.920
to do that at the beginning of October. So get ready for that. Okay. And it's going to come

1463
01:21:49.920 --> 01:21:53.760
right in time. Cause a lot of you will be already onboarded on spirit mate match. And you're just

1464
01:21:53.760 --> 01:21:58.240
going to need help because a lot of you are in your own way. And in God's way, you really are,

1465
01:21:58.240 --> 01:22:04.000
you are, you don't know that you are, but you are because you're trying to keep yourself safe

1466
01:22:04.000 --> 01:22:10.880
instead of allowing God to keep yourself safe. Okay. Meaning that you are talking to yourself

1467
01:22:12.160 --> 01:22:17.200
in obsessive thoughts and blaming them on God. And so we got to get to the root of that. It's

1468
01:22:17.200 --> 01:22:20.800
going to be really important, right? There are no hands up right now. Does that mean that all

1469
01:22:20.800 --> 01:22:25.200
of the love seats have been done? Because if so, we can do a few questions, Ruth, it's such a good

1470
01:22:25.200 --> 01:22:30.080
subject. It's so important. And I'm not saying that you have relationship or religious OCD guys.

1471
01:22:30.080 --> 01:22:37.040
I'm not saying Ruth has that, but I feel like her question, a lot of people that do have it,

1472
01:22:37.040 --> 01:22:41.360
that is a similar question that people would ask, except it would go a lot deeper than that.

1473
01:22:41.920 --> 01:22:47.760
Okay. And raise your hand. If you think that you have a problem with always thinking that

1474
01:22:47.760 --> 01:22:54.560
you're not allowed to do something or that something is not good, dangerous, God's trying

1475
01:22:54.560 --> 01:22:59.520
to keep you from, you know, getting killed or hurt, or it's always like, you know, something

1476
01:22:59.520 --> 01:23:04.160
bad is going to happen. God's telling me, no, I got to listen. If you're always thinking about

1477
01:23:04.160 --> 01:23:08.480
obedience, the word obedient, being obedient, obedient, obedient, like that's a big word in

1478
01:23:08.480 --> 01:23:15.680
your life. Raise your hand. If you have intrusive or obsessive thoughts about negative stuff,

1479
01:23:16.800 --> 01:23:21.600
negative stuff, not being enough, not doing the right thing, missing God's will for my life,

1480
01:23:21.600 --> 01:23:27.680
you know, choosing someone that God didn't choose for me, you know, marrying the wrong person,

1481
01:23:30.480 --> 01:23:36.800
not reading the signs, right. And ending up with someone that is unhealthy or abusive

1482
01:23:36.800 --> 01:23:46.720
because you didn't listen to God. That's okay. That is, that's a good number of hands.

1483
01:23:49.280 --> 01:23:58.240
All right. Yeah. Raise your hand. If you get in relationship with someone and then you start

1484
01:23:58.240 --> 01:24:01.760
kind of picking them apart because you don't think that they're spiritual enough and you don't think

1485
01:24:01.760 --> 01:24:05.680
that they're the one that God chose, you always get hung up on, is this the one? Is this the one?

1486
01:24:05.680 --> 01:24:10.160
I don't know if this is the one. What if this is not the one that God chose for me? What if,

1487
01:24:10.160 --> 01:24:17.680
what if they're not the one? Okay. All right. There's a lot, a lot of, a lot of hands. Okay,

1488
01:24:17.680 --> 01:24:21.120
cool. Thank y'all. Thank you for that honesty. I appreciate that.

1489
01:24:23.760 --> 01:24:28.720
All right. You guys, this is, these are common things that people deal with,

1490
01:24:28.720 --> 01:24:34.480
you know, and like Ruth, if you grew up in a family where you didn't really know what was

1491
01:24:34.480 --> 01:24:42.000
healthy, because the things that were happening that you were, you know, experiencing were being

1492
01:24:42.000 --> 01:24:46.080
called healthy when they weren't. Do you guys know that there's a lot of religious things that

1493
01:24:46.080 --> 01:24:51.120
we can, we call healthy because we grew up in religious circles that are not healthy at all.

1494
01:24:52.560 --> 01:24:57.840
Did you know that it's not healthy to put church before your family?

1495
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:02.780
What? Stop it.

1496
01:25:02.780 --> 01:25:05.200
No, it's not healthy.

1497
01:25:05.200 --> 01:25:07.720
It's not healthy to put ministry before your family.

1498
01:25:07.720 --> 01:25:09.180
Why do you think pastor's kids,

1499
01:25:09.180 --> 01:25:11.400
why do you think there's a joke about pastor's kids,

1500
01:25:11.400 --> 01:25:12.460
that they baddies?

1501
01:25:13.820 --> 01:25:16.640
They baddies because they were orphaned by religion.

1502
01:25:16.640 --> 01:25:19.320
Their parents, they were orphaned by ministry.

1503
01:25:19.320 --> 01:25:22.080
They lost their parents to the work of God.

1504
01:25:22.080 --> 01:25:23.720
Why do you think so many pastor's kids grow up

1505
01:25:23.720 --> 01:25:25.040
and don't serve God?

1506
01:25:25.040 --> 01:25:26.080
Because they're mad at God

1507
01:25:26.080 --> 01:25:28.460
because God stole their parents from them.

1508
01:25:29.460 --> 01:25:30.300
Right?

1509
01:25:30.300 --> 01:25:32.260
Their parents were always doing something for someone else,

1510
01:25:32.260 --> 01:25:34.020
someone else's family, someone in need

1511
01:25:34.020 --> 01:25:35.260
because God told them to

1512
01:25:35.260 --> 01:25:37.620
because they were trying to help God.

1513
01:25:37.620 --> 01:25:38.440
Right?

1514
01:25:38.440 --> 01:25:40.140
So there's a lot of ideas that we get

1515
01:25:40.140 --> 01:25:43.100
from religious circles that are not healthy at all.

1516
01:25:43.100 --> 01:25:44.640
And they're not true and they're not biblical.

1517
01:25:44.640 --> 01:25:45.780
They're not scriptural.

1518
01:25:47.500 --> 01:25:48.700
They're not.

1519
01:25:48.700 --> 01:25:49.700
Okay?

1520
01:25:49.700 --> 01:25:52.280
And so that's just one that just off the top of my head

1521
01:25:52.280 --> 01:25:53.800
that comes to mind.

1522
01:25:53.800 --> 01:25:55.780
And so let's unpack this stuff.

1523
01:25:55.780 --> 01:26:00.780
You guys wanna unpack and slay all that sacred idol cows?

1524
01:26:01.860 --> 01:26:03.660
You guys wanna do that?

1525
01:26:03.660 --> 01:26:08.660
I will tell you that I like slaying those cows.

1526
01:26:08.780 --> 01:26:11.260
It has helped me immensely in my life

1527
01:26:11.260 --> 01:26:12.380
because I was discipled

1528
01:26:12.380 --> 01:26:15.420
by some of the most religious folks you've ever met.

1529
01:26:15.420 --> 01:26:19.460
And it really kept me from being prosperous in my mind.

1530
01:26:19.460 --> 01:26:20.380
It did.

1531
01:26:20.380 --> 01:26:22.780
It kept me from being able to really connect to God

1532
01:26:22.780 --> 01:26:24.460
in my spirit and in my heart.

1533
01:26:24.460 --> 01:26:25.660
And that's why the heart work exists.

1534
01:26:26.540 --> 01:26:28.020
If you guys ever wanted to know why the heart work exists,

1535
01:26:28.020 --> 01:26:29.580
that's why.

1536
01:26:29.580 --> 01:26:32.040
It exists not so you can get married,

1537
01:26:32.040 --> 01:26:35.620
although that's the fruit that it bears.

1538
01:26:35.620 --> 01:26:36.700
And God showed me that.

1539
01:26:36.700 --> 01:26:38.380
He's like, look, when people do it, they get married.

1540
01:26:38.380 --> 01:26:39.260
I'm like, oh, yay.

1541
01:26:39.260 --> 01:26:41.000
It's a side effect.

1542
01:26:41.000 --> 01:26:44.300
But the first and most important thing about it

1543
01:26:44.300 --> 01:26:48.420
is that it will help you get out of all of these ideologies

1544
01:26:48.420 --> 01:26:52.820
that are incorrect about religion, about you, about God,

1545
01:26:52.820 --> 01:26:56.100
about anywhere that you're stuck and not living abundantly.

1546
01:26:56.100 --> 01:26:58.020
Let's slay the cows, Melissa Joy.

1547
01:26:58.020 --> 01:27:00.120
You seem like a cow slayer to me.

1548
01:27:00.120 --> 01:27:02.700
I feel like you would be someone

1549
01:27:02.700 --> 01:27:04.980
that religious people would call a heretic.

1550
01:27:04.980 --> 01:27:07.700
And I mean that in the nicest way possible.

1551
01:27:10.580 --> 01:27:11.540
I don't even know where she is.

1552
01:27:11.540 --> 01:27:13.340
I just see her name right here.

1553
01:27:14.240 --> 01:27:16.000
I mean, that is the biggest compliment

1554
01:27:16.000 --> 01:27:17.100
that I could ever give you.

1555
01:27:17.100 --> 01:27:18.500
Okay.

1556
01:27:18.500 --> 01:27:19.340
All right.

1557
01:27:19.340 --> 01:27:20.180
Thank you.

1558
01:27:20.180 --> 01:27:21.000
Yes.

1559
01:27:21.040 --> 01:27:23.480
Do we have heretics?

1560
01:27:23.480 --> 01:27:24.480
All of you.

1561
01:27:24.480 --> 01:27:25.320
Okay.

1562
01:27:25.320 --> 01:27:28.200
Do we have any more questions, you guys?

1563
01:27:28.200 --> 01:27:29.920
We have two minutes.

1564
01:27:29.920 --> 01:27:31.580
Two minutes to closing time.

1565
01:27:37.640 --> 01:27:38.480
Okay.

1566
01:27:38.480 --> 01:27:39.300
I have a question.

1567
01:27:39.300 --> 01:27:40.800
Can I ask it quickly?

1568
01:27:40.800 --> 01:27:41.800
Yeah.

1569
01:27:41.800 --> 01:27:42.640
Yeah.

1570
01:27:42.640 --> 01:27:47.400
So I met a guy last week online

1571
01:27:47.400 --> 01:27:49.960
and we had a video chat

1572
01:27:49.960 --> 01:27:52.780
and had some text message back and forth.

1573
01:27:52.780 --> 01:27:54.600
So he kind of want to meet in person.

1574
01:27:54.600 --> 01:27:55.860
We're in the same city.

1575
01:27:58.960 --> 01:28:00.920
But his background is very different from me.

1576
01:28:00.920 --> 01:28:02.680
I'm the first generation immigrant

1577
01:28:02.680 --> 01:28:07.680
and he left his Amish community when he was 16.

1578
01:28:08.840 --> 01:28:12.080
So I'm like, yeah, at first I was not that interested

1579
01:28:12.080 --> 01:28:14.720
because I think we are too different.

1580
01:28:14.720 --> 01:28:17.320
But like, kind of like, what shall we talk about?

1581
01:28:17.320 --> 01:28:21.320
Like what focus on when we have lunch together?

1582
01:28:21.320 --> 01:28:24.080
Because I'm like, I can do coffee or do a simple meal

1583
01:28:24.080 --> 01:28:26.600
and then he's like, let me find a restaurant

1584
01:28:26.600 --> 01:28:28.200
and something like that.

1585
01:28:28.200 --> 01:28:29.640
Yeah.

1586
01:28:29.640 --> 01:28:30.940
I mean, just have fun.

1587
01:28:32.000 --> 01:28:34.760
You know, I mean, all different types of people

1588
01:28:34.760 --> 01:28:38.400
that we could click with come from backgrounds

1589
01:28:38.400 --> 01:28:40.160
that we wouldn't have expected.

1590
01:28:40.160 --> 01:28:42.560
Like, you know, I mean, I grew up in America.

1591
01:28:42.560 --> 01:28:44.200
So when you say the word Amish to me

1592
01:28:44.680 --> 01:28:47.000
and you tell me that he defected from the Amish,

1593
01:28:47.000 --> 01:28:50.400
I'm immediately like, okay, like I have a stereotype

1594
01:28:50.400 --> 01:28:52.320
in my mind of what that might look like

1595
01:28:52.320 --> 01:28:54.160
because the girl's home that I lived at

1596
01:28:54.160 --> 01:28:55.000
when I was a teenager,

1597
01:28:55.000 --> 01:28:57.120
because I lived in like a girl's home orphanage

1598
01:28:57.120 --> 01:28:59.880
kind of thing, the workers that worked there

1599
01:28:59.880 --> 01:29:03.920
on the grounds were all people that left the Amish.

1600
01:29:03.920 --> 01:29:06.640
And so immediately that says, you know, like to me,

1601
01:29:06.640 --> 01:29:09.080
like it conjures up like an idea,

1602
01:29:09.080 --> 01:29:12.240
but he could be completely different than that.

1603
01:29:12.240 --> 01:29:13.240
He could be great.

1604
01:29:13.240 --> 01:29:15.320
And this is why you guys, we don't want to be prejudiced.

1605
01:29:15.320 --> 01:29:17.560
We don't want to already think that we have an idea

1606
01:29:17.560 --> 01:29:19.160
of what people are like.

1607
01:29:19.160 --> 01:29:21.480
It doesn't matter if we don't come from the same backgrounds.

1608
01:29:21.480 --> 01:29:23.400
It doesn't matter if we don't come from the same places.

1609
01:29:23.400 --> 01:29:26.120
All that matters is if we want to go to the same place.

1610
01:29:26.120 --> 01:29:28.160
It doesn't matter if we haven't come from the same place.

1611
01:29:28.160 --> 01:29:29.920
Do we want to go to the same place?

1612
01:29:29.920 --> 01:29:32.800
So Abby, have fun, have fun.

1613
01:29:32.800 --> 01:29:36.200
You know, you guys, if you are an awkward person,

1614
01:29:36.200 --> 01:29:40.920
just in general, come armed to these dates with something.

1615
01:29:40.920 --> 01:29:42.960
There's a bunch of, there's a fun game

1616
01:29:43.680 --> 01:29:46.280
that's called, well, we're not really strangers.

1617
01:29:46.280 --> 01:29:48.640
And the phase one cards,

1618
01:29:48.640 --> 01:29:50.120
take a couple of those cards with you.

1619
01:29:50.120 --> 01:29:51.920
I know it sounds hokey and cheesy,

1620
01:29:51.920 --> 01:29:53.720
but nothing's worse than sitting there in silence

1621
01:29:53.720 --> 01:29:55.120
with nothing to talk about.

1622
01:29:55.120 --> 01:29:56.520
Okay.

1623
01:29:56.520 --> 01:29:58.080
There's another, a company,

1624
01:29:58.080 --> 01:29:59.640
it's called the Adventure Challenge.

1625
01:29:59.640 --> 01:30:00.480
You can.

1626
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:03.200
actually get scratch-offs to take on your dates.

1627
01:30:03.200 --> 01:30:04.960
And then you're like, okay, hey,

1628
01:30:04.960 --> 01:30:06.200
do you want to do this or not?

1629
01:30:06.200 --> 01:30:08.500
And if they're in, then you scratch it off together

1630
01:30:08.500 --> 01:30:11.320
and then you literally have to do whatever it says.

1631
01:30:11.320 --> 01:30:12.740
It might say, go to the thrift store

1632
01:30:12.740 --> 01:30:14.420
and pick out an outfit for each other.

1633
01:30:14.420 --> 01:30:16.000
You got to do what it says.

1634
01:30:16.000 --> 01:30:18.760
And so if you're a boring person

1635
01:30:18.760 --> 01:30:21.040
who doesn't know how to play in fun things,

1636
01:30:21.040 --> 01:30:22.640
then get some help.

1637
01:30:22.640 --> 01:30:25.200
You guys, we all couldn't come out of the box

1638
01:30:25.200 --> 01:30:27.200
as Enneagram Sevens.

1639
01:30:27.200 --> 01:30:29.760
I've never lived a boring day in my life.

1640
01:30:29.760 --> 01:30:31.560
But you know what?

1641
01:30:31.560 --> 01:30:33.080
I know boring people.

1642
01:30:33.080 --> 01:30:34.600
I know people who just,

1643
01:30:34.600 --> 01:30:37.360
they just are not that creative in their ideas.

1644
01:30:37.360 --> 01:30:38.360
And you know what?

1645
01:30:38.360 --> 01:30:40.980
They're good at other things and I love them.

1646
01:30:40.980 --> 01:30:43.520
And when I need someone to organize something

1647
01:30:43.520 --> 01:30:45.840
or manage something or plan a schedule

1648
01:30:45.840 --> 01:30:48.880
or someone who makes sure that I don't get in trouble,

1649
01:30:48.880 --> 01:30:50.080
they're my go-to.

1650
01:30:50.080 --> 01:30:52.960
We can't all be the creative people

1651
01:30:52.960 --> 01:30:55.000
that come up with all the cool things.

1652
01:30:55.000 --> 01:30:58.720
And so make sure that if you're not a person like that,

1653
01:30:58.720 --> 01:31:00.320
that you get help.

1654
01:31:00.320 --> 01:31:01.480
You can get help.

1655
01:31:01.480 --> 01:31:03.120
Call your creative friend and say,

1656
01:31:03.120 --> 01:31:04.520
hey, I have a blind date.

1657
01:31:04.520 --> 01:31:05.440
What should we do?

1658
01:31:06.700 --> 01:31:07.940
Work together.

1659
01:31:08.860 --> 01:31:10.180
Work together.

1660
01:31:11.540 --> 01:31:13.760
Rachel, I don't know that it's not a,

1661
01:31:13.760 --> 01:31:15.740
it's not, the name of the scratch off thing

1662
01:31:15.740 --> 01:31:17.680
is not like a name,

1663
01:31:17.680 --> 01:31:19.480
but it's the adventure challenge.

1664
01:31:19.480 --> 01:31:23.800
And it's for couples, dating couples and married couples.

1665
01:31:23.800 --> 01:31:27.160
I have their, I have their quickies.

1666
01:31:27.160 --> 01:31:29.480
You scratch it off and then whatever sexual stuff

1667
01:31:29.480 --> 01:31:30.760
it tells you and your husband to do,

1668
01:31:30.760 --> 01:31:32.120
then you're supposed to do it.

1669
01:31:32.120 --> 01:31:33.640
Someone gifted me this.

1670
01:31:33.640 --> 01:31:35.600
This is why I know about this company.

1671
01:31:35.600 --> 01:31:37.300
It's a Christian company, y'all.

1672
01:31:38.560 --> 01:31:39.400
Okay?

1673
01:31:39.400 --> 01:31:41.260
So this is Christian spice.

1674
01:31:41.260 --> 01:31:44.320
This is Christian spice in these cards that you,

1675
01:31:45.760 --> 01:31:47.080
that you scratch off.

1676
01:31:48.500 --> 01:31:50.360
This is me though, okay?

1677
01:31:50.360 --> 01:31:51.600
True story.

1678
01:31:51.600 --> 01:31:53.800
So I got this box of all these scratch offs

1679
01:31:53.800 --> 01:31:56.280
and it's called quickies on it, right?

1680
01:31:56.280 --> 01:31:59.040
And then, so I was like, okay, I can be adventurous.

1681
01:31:59.040 --> 01:31:59.880
Let me do this.

1682
01:31:59.880 --> 01:32:00.760
Cause it's a Christian company.

1683
01:32:00.760 --> 01:32:03.440
So it's not going to be anything that's like,

1684
01:32:03.440 --> 01:32:06.540
you know, inappropriate or immoral.

1685
01:32:06.540 --> 01:32:07.380
Okay.

1686
01:32:07.380 --> 01:32:10.480
And so I scratched the first one off and I'm like, eh.

1687
01:32:10.480 --> 01:32:12.600
And I just started scratching them all off

1688
01:32:12.600 --> 01:32:14.920
until I tried to find one I liked.

1689
01:32:14.920 --> 01:32:17.400
Was like, okay, this, you know,

1690
01:32:17.400 --> 01:32:19.880
oh, that, oh, that sounds too complicated.

1691
01:32:19.880 --> 01:32:22.040
Oh, I don't, I don't have any whipped cream,

1692
01:32:22.040 --> 01:32:23.880
you know, just like whatever.

1693
01:32:23.880 --> 01:32:25.600
I just started scratching them all off.

1694
01:32:25.920 --> 01:32:28.480
So when you're married, get y'all a box of that.

1695
01:32:28.480 --> 01:32:30.960
But until then they have it for dates too.

1696
01:32:30.960 --> 01:32:32.720
They have one for blind dates.

1697
01:32:32.720 --> 01:32:36.200
And so at our curated shuffle events that we'll be having

1698
01:32:36.200 --> 01:32:38.840
with our spirit mate match technology,

1699
01:32:38.840 --> 01:32:41.760
we will be having some of these little scratch offs

1700
01:32:43.120 --> 01:32:46.400
available for the people that will be meeting

1701
01:32:46.400 --> 01:32:47.400
for the first time.

1702
01:32:47.400 --> 01:32:49.120
So I think that that's fun.

1703
01:32:49.120 --> 01:32:51.680
The card game's called, we're not really strangers.

1704
01:32:52.680 --> 01:32:56.760
And it just has fun little questions and different things.

1705
01:32:56.760 --> 01:32:58.000
It's not Christian.

1706
01:32:58.000 --> 01:33:02.160
So make sure that you take the cards that you want.

1707
01:33:02.160 --> 01:33:04.440
Don't just bring the box and just pull out cards

1708
01:33:04.440 --> 01:33:07.800
because you might be with a card that you don't want.

1709
01:33:07.800 --> 01:33:10.480
But it's also not, it's not inappropriate either.

1710
01:33:10.480 --> 01:33:12.560
I haven't seen any inappropriate cards.

1711
01:33:14.800 --> 01:33:16.800
Ruth, I'm hilarious tonight.

1712
01:33:16.800 --> 01:33:19.680
I'm always hilarious, Ruth.

1713
01:33:19.680 --> 01:33:21.080
Come over, hang out with me.

1714
01:33:21.080 --> 01:33:21.920
You'll know.

1715
01:33:23.280 --> 01:33:24.400
I'm a cray cray.

1716
01:33:24.400 --> 01:33:25.560
Okay.

1717
01:33:25.560 --> 01:33:28.920
I had that book, but the BF boyfriend hated the idea

1718
01:33:28.920 --> 01:33:30.240
of crazy fun dates.

1719
01:33:30.240 --> 01:33:31.520
And the other hand, I loved it.

1720
01:33:31.520 --> 01:33:33.200
We are obviously not together.

1721
01:33:33.200 --> 01:33:34.040
See?

1722
01:33:34.960 --> 01:33:36.480
Now, if you love to have fun,

1723
01:33:36.480 --> 01:33:39.040
you cannot be with someone who never will allow you

1724
01:33:39.040 --> 01:33:40.680
to drag them into your shenanigans.

1725
01:33:40.680 --> 01:33:43.760
My husband, he is not a naturally fun person,

1726
01:33:43.760 --> 01:33:48.600
but he loves it when my fun personality comes out

1727
01:33:48.600 --> 01:33:50.520
because I'm all business a lot of times.

1728
01:33:50.520 --> 01:33:54.560
But then when I get fun, he's like, I like it.

1729
01:33:54.560 --> 01:33:55.920
I like it when you're like that.

1730
01:33:55.920 --> 01:34:00.040
So find someone who likes it when you're yourself

1731
01:34:00.040 --> 01:34:02.640
and that is going to be the person.

1732
01:34:02.640 --> 01:34:04.160
So you guys, can we pray real quick?

1733
01:34:04.160 --> 01:34:07.280
Can we pray over these two new things we have going on?

1734
01:34:07.280 --> 01:34:09.680
I really believe God told us at the beginning of the year

1735
01:34:09.680 --> 01:34:12.680
to throw out the net and pull in new people.

1736
01:34:12.680 --> 01:34:15.200
And I really believe that this affiliation program

1737
01:34:15.200 --> 01:34:17.760
is so, is part of that.

1738
01:34:17.760 --> 01:34:20.000
God told me that there was going to be so many people,

1739
01:34:20.000 --> 01:34:23.040
spouses that were going to come in in these nets.

1740
01:34:23.040 --> 01:34:24.760
And so I started running ads.

1741
01:34:24.760 --> 01:34:26.480
You guys, I started spending a bunch of money

1742
01:34:26.480 --> 01:34:28.280
trying to get new people in.

1743
01:34:28.280 --> 01:34:29.680
I started, you know,

1744
01:34:29.680 --> 01:34:32.240
trying to get the name out here through podcasts

1745
01:34:32.240 --> 01:34:33.200
and different things.

1746
01:34:33.200 --> 01:34:35.040
But this affiliation program, I think,

1747
01:34:35.040 --> 01:34:37.720
is one of the biggest nets that we're going to throw out

1748
01:34:37.720 --> 01:34:39.520
because good people know good people

1749
01:34:39.520 --> 01:34:41.320
and good people meet good people.

1750
01:34:41.320 --> 01:34:45.320
And I really think that it's going to cause this to explode.

1751
01:34:45.320 --> 01:34:48.680
In fact, I'm going to go ahead and say that I believe

1752
01:34:48.680 --> 01:34:51.720
that we are going to have so many of you

1753
01:34:51.720 --> 01:34:53.960
in marriage-minded courtships

1754
01:34:53.960 --> 01:34:55.680
even before this year is over with.

1755
01:34:55.680 --> 01:34:58.600
And so I'm so excited about this.

1756
01:34:58.600 --> 01:35:00.080
And so let's pray over it.

1757
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:01.000
Okay.

1758
01:35:01.000 --> 01:35:04.000
Bethany, why don't you do that or Renee?

1759
01:35:04.000 --> 01:35:14.260
Why don't I just, I'll go, thanks, Father God, we just thank you for each and every

1760
01:35:14.260 --> 01:35:15.720
single woman on this call.

1761
01:35:15.720 --> 01:35:19.120
We thank you for Jackie and for Bethany.

1762
01:35:19.120 --> 01:35:21.760
I ask that you just bless her back abundantly.

1763
01:35:21.760 --> 01:35:26.920
I know that when we teach and we pour out, we pour out till we're empty.

1764
01:35:26.920 --> 01:35:30.840
And so Father God, I ask you first and foremost, fill Jackie back up, fill Bethany back up

1765
01:35:30.840 --> 01:35:32.560
because I know she's been teaching too.

1766
01:35:32.560 --> 01:35:37.800
Father God, each person that shared, let them feel the peace that surpasses all understanding

1767
01:35:37.800 --> 01:35:42.580
and let them not have any moments where they feel like they overshared or they're worried

1768
01:35:42.580 --> 01:35:47.480
about how they came off to the group that we all learned and we grew from their story.

1769
01:35:47.480 --> 01:35:49.040
So give them peace about that.

1770
01:35:49.040 --> 01:35:53.680
Father God, if any of us felt any healthy conviction about things that we need to adjust

1771
01:35:53.680 --> 01:36:00.120
in the way that we vet other people or present ourselves, may you do that in humility with

1772
01:36:00.120 --> 01:36:06.840
us and that we see where we might need to take a bit of a tweak or a turn and not beat

1773
01:36:06.840 --> 01:36:08.160
ourselves up about that.

1774
01:36:08.160 --> 01:36:12.960
Father God, but I also and finally pray for each and every single person on this call

1775
01:36:12.960 --> 01:36:17.960
for the love story that you are writing in all of the many ways that that love story

1776
01:36:17.960 --> 01:36:23.560
is going to manifest beyond our spirit match, but that we are going to bring about kingdom

1777
01:36:23.560 --> 01:36:31.280
results and kingdom stories and that we will be excited to share this testimony that will

1778
01:36:31.280 --> 01:36:36.960
fill back up that cup for Jackie and David just so that they are reminded that what they

1779
01:36:36.960 --> 01:36:38.760
are doing is for kingdom purposes.

1780
01:36:38.760 --> 01:36:43.240
And we lift all of this up in the precious name of Jesus as you protect and go forward

1781
01:36:43.240 --> 01:36:47.040
with all of these new growths and changes that we're doing in Jesus name.

1782
01:36:47.040 --> 01:36:48.040
Amen.

1783
01:36:48.040 --> 01:36:49.040
Amen.

1784
01:36:49.040 --> 01:36:54.320
And of course, the guys too, there's guys on this call.

1785
01:36:54.320 --> 01:36:55.880
This is a coed call.

1786
01:36:55.880 --> 01:36:57.400
And so all the men as well.

1787
01:36:57.400 --> 01:36:58.400
We appreciate you.

1788
01:36:58.400 --> 01:36:59.400
We thank you guys.

1789
01:36:59.400 --> 01:37:05.480
If you did not hear that prayer call on Monday about the reparations and reconciliation of

1790
01:37:05.480 --> 01:37:07.200
men and women, please go listen to it.

1791
01:37:07.200 --> 01:37:12.200
It's in your replays Monday, this last Monday, Labor Day.

1792
01:37:12.200 --> 01:37:14.800
Go ahead and watch and listen to that.

1793
01:37:14.800 --> 01:37:20.400
Please watch your resource group on your pages, your resource tab on your, not your

1794
01:37:20.400 --> 01:37:24.800
pages on your app, your resource tab on your app.

1795
01:37:24.800 --> 01:37:30.920
And we will be putting spirit mate match on phase three, phase two and phase three and

1796
01:37:30.920 --> 01:37:36.220
men's group all getting the affiliate program link as well.

1797
01:37:36.220 --> 01:37:37.220
And we'll see you soon.

1798
01:37:37.220 --> 01:37:37.720
Bye everyone.