WEBVTT

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Hello, welcome, everyone. Welcome, welcome. Good night. Good night, not over. As in, it's

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a good night. I totally said that funny. What I want you all to do for me, just to get us

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started, let's put where you're joining from in the chat. Because one of the questions

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we get all the time is, I don't know who lives near me that I can connect with. So here's your

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chance. It's going to go fast. So if you want to look for somebody in your area as it's coming

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in there, reach out to them. Try not to get distracted during heart work tonight, please.

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But this at least gives you an idea of somebody that you can reach out to in your area.

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For those of you that don't know, because some of you may not have heard this already,

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Spiritmate Match intake form is live. You're going to find the link to complete that in the

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app. Okay, so whether you're the men's group or the women's phase three, you're going to go to

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the last year single app. And you're going to go into your group and you're going to click on the

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resources tab. And the link for that is already there. And the link for the affiliate sign up,

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if you're interested in doing that, is also there. That wasn't working a little bit ago,

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but we've gotten it fixed. It was just a little bug. So it's working. Y'all sometimes, you know,

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there's just little glitches that that happens. So thanks for letting us know. I don't remember

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who's who let us know, but thank you for that. And we've gotten that fixed. Be praying for the

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movement. Be praying for this because it's really important as we're working on all these things for

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people to fill the forms out. Okay, so we can't do shuffles and fun events. If people aren't filling

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the form out. All right. So pray, pray, pray that on both sides, that's showing up on both sides.

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We have a lot of people that have filled it out. So if you have, thank you. Thank you for filling

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that out. But that's how we're going to get you all together. So we did make some schedule shifts

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in September, if you didn't notice already. So next Thursday, we're either going to do

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HeartConnect or a fun game night. We're deciding right now. So that's going to be a lot of fun.

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So hope you'll join us for that. And then we're going to do the prophetic processing

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path session on Tuesday. That's going to be the 24th. Y'all, we're still going to do a shuffle.

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So don't panic. We're still going to do spirit match shuffle, but we have to have enough people

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to make that happen in the system. So we're going to do that hopefully sometime in October.

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So we're just pushing it back a month, but be praying for us to make that all happen as well.

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All right, let me pray and get us started for tonight. I have a lot of good stuff planned.

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And just to kind of let you know, if you've never been on an advanced heartwork session,

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all of you hopefully have been through heartwork. But the way we do it is kind of like when we do

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love seats, but it's going to be a heartwork seat. So I'm going to do some coaching and

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some teaching on some stuff God has shown me today to release to you all. And then I'm going to open

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it up and some people can get into the seat and I'll coach you specifically on what your question

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is about. And then we'll see how that goes. And then I have additional content and we'll do the

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same thing again. All right. Father, thank you so much for everyone that's here. God, thank you

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that you are the God of the breakthrough. So many times, Lord, we can feel stuck. Lord,

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we face challenges. We face situations and trials. Sometimes those things

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are really happening in the world, but sometimes those things are happening within

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and it's affecting things in our physical realm. So Lord, I pray that you would heal

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us within tonight in a fresh way. Help us to hear what your spirit is saying louder than any voice

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of the enemy. Thank you, God, that you would take us to an upgrade in our revelation and understanding

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that we would hear from heaven tonight for each one of our own personal situations, God, that you

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would bring your light into every dark area and help us to see truth, help us to understand.

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We know that where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom, there is liberty. So we're

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asking Holy Spirit, we're thanking you for being here. We thank you for bringing revelation, truth,

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manna, fresh manna from heaven. We can't do this apart from you, Father. You are the vine,

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we're the branches. So even tonight, as I try to convey what you were showing me today,

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I pray that you'll help it to come through exactly the way that they need to hear it

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tonight so that they can step further into freedom and the fullness of who you originally

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created them to be long before trauma or wounds ever entered their life. We just thank you in

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advance for all these things in Jesus name. All right, y'all. So the Lord told me this morning,

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this is exactly how he said it, he said to go after identity. So at some point tonight,

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we're going to be doing that. I have some things to kind of prep us before we go there.

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Y'all might've heard bits and pieces of this

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along your heartwork journey,

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but I think some of it will also be new

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as we're gonna talk a little bit about

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the lie of insignificance.

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Yeah, I just felt that as I said it.

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The lie of insignificance.

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That's exactly what I was meditating on this morning,

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something I was reading,

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and that's when I heard the Lord say,

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go after identity.

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Because I was praying like,

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what did he want us to talk about tonight?

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What did he want us to touch on?

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And so that's what we're gonna lean into.

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But first, before we go there,

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I wanna prepare your heart for some other things in advance.

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Y'all, if you remember from the heartwork

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that our heart is our broken heart, not our healed heart,

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but any brokenness in our heart

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can cause our heart to be what?

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Three things, the liar, the puzzle, and the pretender.

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So there are parts, even as we've gone through heart healing

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we're a little bit more whole than we were

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before we came into the program.

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Hopefully we go on our journey.

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Some of y'all start dating and it's like, no holds barred.

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Everything kind of went out the window for some of you all.

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Love you, but it's true.

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And you forget what you learned,

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not fully, but maybe temporarily.

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And why is that?

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Well, because even my own life,

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when I look back,

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it's because I didn't fully know my identity yet.

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And so every time something happened

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that kind of triggered me or caused fear or whatever,

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it was like my identity kind of was off kilter

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and everything else would get chaotic feeling.

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And so the Lord wants you to know tonight,

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if that's you, that you're not alone

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and you can and will make it through this.

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And you can be set free from that cycle too.

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Attachment styles obviously are, they play a key,

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they do, they play a part in our journey,

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but the more our heart heals,

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the more secure we become in the Father's love,

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the less the anxious or avoidant plays a role.

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Again, I'm not saying it won't still play a part at times.

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I think we all battle that stuff.

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But when I think back,

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I used to struggle with the anxious attachment.

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When I think back to like how I used to feel

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and how I felt when I was dating Brian,

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and there were moments where I felt that anxiousness

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wanting to creep in.

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And I remember the Lord just saying, don't go there.

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Don't go there, because that's not truth.

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And so I wanna encourage you all,

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when you feel that stuff

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or even the avoidant trying to kick in,

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the people that are anxious, don't go there.

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I hope you remember this when you feel that anxiousness,

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just to press pause and say, Lord, is this feeling accurate?

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Or am I allowing myself to go down a road

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that's not real at all?

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And then those that are avoided,

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that you would say, Lord, help me to stay in connection.

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Stay in the game and don't avoid.

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All right, Jeremiah 79 says,

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the heart is deceitful above all things

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and desperately wicked who can know it.

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Am I saying that our hearts can't get rid of this stuff?

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No, but I think it's important for us to remember

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that our hearts deceive us.

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Our hearts can deceive us.

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The brokenness is what I'm talking about.

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Again, not our healed hearts.

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These are the parts of our hearts

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that are still needing God's touch,

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His revelation, His love.

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Our hearts are highly impressionable.

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I want you to think, as I was thinking about it,

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right before I even jumped on, in our day and age,

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media is like bigger than ever.

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I don't know for those of you

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that may not do marketing or advertising,

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you might not know this,

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but what's really big is you look at all kinds of data.

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And one of the data points is impression served.

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That's like a big phrase in the marketing world now.

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Impression served means that it can,

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like, and I might get this a little wrong, okay?

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So you marketing gurus that know even more than me,

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please don't correct me, just go with me on this.

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But basically it's just potentially

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somebody could have seen it or they did see it.

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And so when I started thinking about that,

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our hearts are highly impressionable.

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I started thinking about the fact

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of how many thoughts cross our hearts

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and our minds every day

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and how those thoughts are creating impressions.

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You know, those neuropathways.

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But, you know, so many times we don't even realize

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how many impressions we see of media even ever.

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every single day that are also feeding

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right into that stuff as well.

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Being impressionable is,

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it actually means capable of being easily impressed.

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Mark made by pressure.

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So any amount of pressure, if you can imagine,

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think of even in the last week,

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a situation that you went through where you felt stressed.

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Okay?

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Any level of stress.

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It could be a little stress or a lot of stress.

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What was happening in your heart,

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in your mind in that moment?

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And what were the impressions that were being made?

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Were they positive?

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Were they negative?

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Were they fear-driven?

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Were they centered in truth?

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Like really ask the Lord to show you

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what you were rooted in in that moment.

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Proverbs 4.23 says,

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"'Keep your heart with all visions

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"'for from it flows the springs of life.'"

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To be vigilant about something is to be alertly watchful

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as to avoid danger.

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So if we are being alert,

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like all the time, we're always watching.

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And again, y'all, this isn't about perfection, y'all.

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We're gonna all make mistakes.

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I make mistakes too.

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And I'm like down the road and I'm like, wait a minute.

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I was driving that car way too fast and way too far

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and not even thinking about where that was leading me

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for a little bit there.

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And so when I recognize that, I'm like,

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let me put the car in reverse

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and look at this a little bit different

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through a different lens.

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And typically I don't want my lens.

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I want the lens of the Father.

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Father, what are you saying?

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What is heaven saying?

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What am I not seeing or hearing through a healed heart?

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What am I, how am I looking at this through brokenness

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or believing that someone is thinking something

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that they're probably never even thinking?

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Y'all, someone, that's a word for someone tonight.

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Some of y'all get so worked up,

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even about these people you're talking to on apps

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and you have this whole scheme in your mind

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that's unfolding and it's not even happening.

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And that is a signal that your heart needs healing.

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If that's something that happens, again, there's no shame.

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That's why I'm talking about this.

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There's no shame, but I want you to not just stay there.

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I wanna encourage you to lean into

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what is God trying to show you through it

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so that you don't stay in that place.

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Trauma that happened to us isn't what stops us

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from living an amazing life,

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but it's the lies we believe as a result of the trauma.

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Again, I'm gonna repeat some information

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y'all heard a while ago,

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but we need a revisit on this stuff.

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Lies like, and I'm gonna bring in the insignificance.

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This is the first one.

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Maybe some of you are hearing lies

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like you are insignificant

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and it might not come out exactly that way.

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So I wrote down what insignificant actually means.

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Not significant, lacking meaning,

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not worth considering, unimportant.

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I know I've read some posts from you all

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that have actually said, I didn't even respond to that guy

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because I thought he was too good for me.

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So guess what, ladies and gentlemen,

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if we think like that, somewhere underneath the surface,

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we struggle with insignificance, a low self worth.

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Okay, so maybe your lie is you don't matter.

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Maybe your lie is you should be seen and not heard.

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You're not enough.

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Your opinion doesn't matter.

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You're always going to have to beg.

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If they really knew me and knew my whole story,

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they wouldn't fill in the blank,

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accept me, love me, choose me.

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What are the lies that you have been believing?

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So I wanna start to see in the chat.

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And maybe it's not any of the ones I said.

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If there's something else coming up in your spirit,

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I wanna start to see

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what is it that you all are struggling with?

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Let's just be real and honest tonight

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because this is where breakthrough happens.

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All right, yeah, Diana, that's so not true.

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All right, so I'm too fat, old, ugly,

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I'm invisible, unqualified.

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I relate to thinking of they knew my whole story.

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They would be, yep, okay, I see what you're saying there.

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All right, it's gonna start to go a little too fast for me.

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I don't make a difference, not being a priority.

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All right, I'm gonna just touch on that,

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not being a priority just for a minute.

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I'm not doing dating coaching,

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so I'm not gonna go into that too much,

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but I feel like it's worth mentioning.

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I just was talking to someone yesterday

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where the enemy was trying to convince them

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that they weren't as important as something else

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in the conversation.

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And I'm not gonna go into that too much today.

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the life of the person that they are with. And you all, the enemy

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I'm gonna just touch on that,

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not being a priority, just for a minute.

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will try to do that on a regular basis in relationships. You

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I'm not doing dating coaching,

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so I'm not gonna go into that too much,

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know, even before you're in marriage, you know, if that's a

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lie you're hearing, when did that start? Remember, the main

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key question is God, when was the first time I believed this

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lie, or I had this thought or experience this emotion? If you

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get triggered a lot, or even at all, God, why am I getting

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triggered right now? Like, why am I why am I getting so upset

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with this person? You know, at the checkout counter? I had a

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BMV, I had to go to the BMV in Florida to get my license here.

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Y'all I had stress before I even walked in there. I get so

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stressed going into those places. And I had to sit there

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for a really long time. And the longer that my stuff like I kept

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facing obstacle obstacle. And the more that that happened, I

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felt myself getting so triggered. And I had to really

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like, watch myself because this poor lady, she was being so

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kind. And I was just so stressed. And it was starting to

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translate through. And so I did end up apologizing just FYI. I

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wasn't mean or like bad, but I was just I was short with her.

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And I felt it in my spirit as soon as I did it. And so I

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apologized to her later. I'm like, this isn't about you. I

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don't know what's going on with me. I'm just I feel stress in

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here. And I shared that little example. Because those kind of

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things matter to like, I need to look at that. Like maybe it's it

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is just because those tend to be high stress environments. But

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maybe there's something else that's going on underneath the

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surface there that I need to pay attention to. So you all wherever

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it shows up, let's just be willing to ask the Lord, where

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is this coming from? Why am I feeling the stress? What it what

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am I believing and responding to that isn't a part of your kingdom

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and your love? Okay, so moving on all of the lies that we

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believe or we have heard, Queeness, you know, especially

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the ones like, we're insignificant, we don't have any

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worth, we lack meaning, or we have no, we're not a priority.

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All of those kind of lies that sounds similar to that we're not

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enough. My opinion doesn't matter. They all point to low

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self esteem, not understanding our value, not understanding our

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worth, pauper, like as in P-A-U-P-E-R, not P-O-P-P-E-R,

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pauper, and orphan mentalities. So if you think of, I don't know

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how many of you would remember, I don't know why this movie is

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coming to mind, but it is Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, like

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the old one, Kevin Costner, you know, kind of picture the

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paupers in that time, they were people that didn't have a lot of

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money. Their clothes were, you know, kind of ragged and dingy.

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And, you know, especially like kind of Kevin Costner even made

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himself look more like that at points to get closer, you know,

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to where he needed to go. The reason I bring that up is

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because some of us in our spirit are dressed like that. In our

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souls, we actually believe that we are less than, because we

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don't know our true value and worth. And even people that have

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gone to church for a long time, like I knew my value and worth

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long before I came in this program, but I can tell you,

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I've had multiple upgrades of understanding since I joined

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this program. So I want you all to just be open to considering

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where do you still feel like you're living in rags? That's

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what I'm asking you where you're not living up to the fullness of

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everything God has for you. The fullness of the promises, you

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know, when you read the Bible and you hear things like the

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goodness of God is, you know, you're going to experience it in

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the land of the living. And you're just feeling like there's

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this massive gap between that truth in your life, that right

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there, that's a sign to you that there's probably healing

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that needs to happen. And yes, we face trials and tribulation,

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y'all that's, that's, that's a part of this as well. Okay. So

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it's not always like we're going to have attacks and encounters

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that we face, but it's typically one or the other. So I brought

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some truth for you as well. For those of you that struggle with

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understanding your value and your worth, I wanted to provide

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you with some truth that you can cling to tonight and in the days

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ahead. And I really want to encourage you to look into this

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for yourself, like look

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to the word and what is God wanting to say to you personally. Here are a couple things. This is one

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the Lord told me to specifically write down and there's so many others. So I have one truth I

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wrote down and then the rest are scriptures. You can have enough to give away all the time.

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You are a lender, not a borrower. That one has to do with finances if you can't tell.

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But that could also be someone who lends care and kindness. You know, you can look at that

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all kinds of ways. You can have enough to give away all the time. You can have enough love to

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give away all the time. You can have enough joy to give away all the time. You can have enough,

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you know, happiness, like fill in the blank you all. So originally I wrote it down about finances,

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but God started talking to me about this whole, we can have enough. But paupers and orphan

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mentalities, we tend to people that struggle with that stuff tend to believe there's never enough.

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So for example, when your sister or brother meets someone and they start celebrating in the group

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about this relationship or engagement, you are excited for them. But deep down,

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sometimes not everyone, some people struggle with jealousy and feeling like, oh gosh,

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I missed my chance now. Like that's one less person, you know? So if we're looking at scenarios

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and situations thinking there's not enough for us, that's another signal that you can look at

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that tells you that there's healing needed regarding the way that you look at God's

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provision for your life. So God sent me Brian. I said, I never wanted to move.

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I went on the apps and said, okay, I'm only putting this at two and a half hours. Cause

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I'm not moving. And then one day God was like, a couple of days later, he's like, okay, extend

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that to a little bit further. And I did. And I ended up meeting Brian.

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I do believe in God's provision and his direction. I believe that God can do that for you as well.

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Proverbs 12 49 says a wife of noble character is her husband's crown. So ladies,

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as you continue to heal, as you continue to walk in the ways of the Lord, as you continue

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to pursue the love of the father, guess what? The truth is you are worth like so much value to

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him that you're going to be like a crown on his head. He's going to be proud to call you his wife,

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not because of what you can do for him, but because of who you are. Genesis. And the same

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thing for the men, but it's just, you flip it. It's not, you know, we'll come with one for you

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in a little bit here. Genesis one 26 says, then God said, let us make man mankind in our image.

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So we are valuable because of who we are, who we are made in the image of that never changes.

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Ephesians one five says in love. He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ

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in accordance with his pleasure and will Isaiah 43 four says, since you are precious and honored

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in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you and nations

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in exchange for your life. Y'all he's doing some trading on our behalf because of his deep love.

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Now. Yeah. I mean, that was back in Isaiah, but if it was true, then it is true. Now he is the

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same God yesterday, today, and forever. So I'm going to read that again. Since you are precious

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and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you

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and nations in exchange for your life. That was Isaiah 43, four. Thank you all for helping me

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put those in the chat. Luke 12 seven is the last scripture for now. Indeed, the very hairs of your

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head are all numbered. Don't be afraid. You are worth more than many sparrows.

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Who or what has the enemy tried to use to destroy your identity or cause you to devalue yourself?

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I just had this image in my head pop up. So I'm going to say it. Who all has ever had a garage sale?

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Anyone? You know, when you're putting the stickers on there and you're trying to decide how much

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you're going to, you know, sell this.

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stuff for, I just heard in the spirit, like some of you all, you know, the ones where you're not

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selling it and you're like, okay, well, I need to get rid of this. So I'm going to discount this.

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And you put the discount sticker 50% off or whatever. Some of you all are actually like,

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you think you're worth the discount value. Like you're in the, I can't sell, this is how you're

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viewing yourself that you're in the category of, yeah, you sat on the shelf and I tried to sell

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you, but you're just not, you're like, you didn't get picked. So now I'm moving you over to the sale

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aisle. Y'all that. And again, these are just analogies. I'm not saying that that is truth.

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I'm saying some of you actually think your value is low and that's not true. All right. So it's

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time. God's been saying that to me a lot lately. So if y'all see it, when I write things, it's

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because he's saying it's time, it's time for what it's time for all kinds of good stuff. God is,

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he's literally on the move. If you weren't on last Sunday, we didn't record prayer because

401
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this just was normal prayer. But one of the words that got released was that there is a dam in the

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spirit realm. That's about to break. It's about to burst open and God's about to rain all kinds

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of stuff down on us and over us, a lot of refreshing and outpouring of the spirit. But

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here's the thing. I'm also hearing it's time, time to learn to love ourselves as much as God does.

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As much as God does. So if we don't know what that looks like or sounds like y'all,

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I didn't have a dad that called me. I didn't. So was it at times hard to understand the love of

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the father, like God's good, good love, his love that envelops me and lifts me up every single

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day? Yeah, sometimes. But you know what? I just ask him to keep showing me in tangible ways.

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Show me Lord, show me your love. Show me the understanding of what your love looks like,

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feels like, sounds like. Help me to see it all around me and within me. Help me to become more

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rooted in the understanding of nothing can separate me from your love. Not height, nor depth,

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nor principality, nor power, nor things in the present, nor things to come. Y'all, not anybody

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on a dating app, not something someone says. Nothing. No thing. But we have to live in that truth.

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It's time. It's time to step out of the shadows. This is also a word for somebody tonight,

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maybe a couple of somebodies. God said, it's time to step out of the shadows and stand strong in the light.

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I heard in the spirit that backbones are going to be strengthened tonight as well.

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And specifically, not in a prideful way. God is saying, in confidence returning,

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an inner strength within you growing. Have y'all ever felt kind of just slumped over when you feel

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low self-esteem? Don't we sit with our shoulders kind of hunched? And we're not just walking with

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that confidence, that backbone strong. And so the Lord is wanting to heal confidence tonight.

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What are the problem areas in your life right now?

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What areas are you stuck in? And those are where we're going to kind of hone in.

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Those are the things that are signaling to you in this season, the areas that you are still

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believing lies. And sometimes they're like blaring warning signs, like warning, warning, warning.

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And sometimes they're flashing, but we're not hearing the warning. So we got to be willing to

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what I said earlier, be alert and watchful. Being alert and watchful means we're watching

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with our eyes, right? That we would guard our hearts and our minds through Christ Jesus

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and make every thought, take it all captive and make it obedient to Jesus Christ and the truth

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of his word. All right. So I'm going to open up the seats. I think it is Dawn. Dawn and Marsha,

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are your hands up to do heart work or were you just had, did you have your hands up from before?

431
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Okay. Not sure there.

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All right. So I think Tammy, anyone who wants to get into the heart work seat,

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you can put your hands up. Tammy, is that okay? Marsha, sorry. I didn't know if you

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were wanting to do that. All right, Tammy, go ahead and tell me, tell me what your question

435
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is tonight. Well, my question or my issue or your issue. Yeah. However you want.

436
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Yeah. Well, lately I've just been getting triggered kind of easily.

437
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by like, I guess, really old, old beliefs that they're very, I can't remember a

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specific time necessarily anything happened.

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Some of them I can, but like if my mom says something to me that seems kind

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of judgmental, that really rubbed me the wrong way.

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I mean, a few days ago I was really upset for a while and I just had to get sick

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of being upset and just say, okay, God, this isn't joy, this isn't what the

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word says, not to be afraid of someone's judging me or be angry at me.

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You know, and I just chose not to think that and chose to think what God says

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and have joy and go on like that.

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And that just kind of got over it.

447
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But that just keeps happening lately.

448
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I'm like, well, I don't need to spend time in the word, obviously.

449
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But yeah, so it's just kind of weird.

450
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So it has to do with like my, my self-esteem or I can't, people

451
00:30:58.240 --> 00:31:01.200
tell me in the past, sometimes when we were kids, like my big sister, we

452
00:31:01.200 --> 00:31:04.160
were in the library, my mom and her, and they were looking for a particular

453
00:31:04.160 --> 00:31:05.520
book and I couldn't really read yet.

454
00:31:06.160 --> 00:31:08.080
But I was determined to help them find this book.

455
00:31:08.880 --> 00:31:12.960
And my sister said something kind of ugly to me, like not necessarily meaning

456
00:31:12.960 --> 00:31:16.640
that, but it kind of hurt my feelings about like, you can't, you can't find

457
00:31:16.640 --> 00:31:17.880
that or whatever, something like that.

458
00:31:18.560 --> 00:31:21.080
And I happened to grab the right book and I showed that one to them.

459
00:31:21.080 --> 00:31:22.520
And they're like, you found it.

460
00:31:22.520 --> 00:31:23.240
They were startled.

461
00:31:23.240 --> 00:31:25.720
And I actually happened to find that book on the shelf somehow.

462
00:31:26.160 --> 00:31:27.160
I couldn't even read.

463
00:31:27.920 --> 00:31:30.320
So, but I mean, I always wanted to like help with things, you know,

464
00:31:30.320 --> 00:31:35.480
little, little kids are, and just think people, people say sometimes they

465
00:31:35.480 --> 00:31:39.440
don't maybe mean to be mean, but it comes across that way and judgmental.

466
00:31:39.480 --> 00:31:41.400
And so I'm going to ask you a question.

467
00:31:41.400 --> 00:31:42.120
I'm going to hop in.

468
00:31:43.280 --> 00:31:45.720
Tell me what the old belief sounds like.

469
00:31:47.680 --> 00:31:50.720
You mentioned old belief and then yeah, go ahead with that.

470
00:31:51.840 --> 00:31:52.240
Yeah.

471
00:31:52.240 --> 00:31:59.240
Um, well, just like I'm insignificant, like I'm less than everybody else.

472
00:31:59.960 --> 00:32:02.760
Like when I was with my little friends on the street and the neighborhood

473
00:32:02.760 --> 00:32:06.360
and like first grade or whatever, they're running around all these places.

474
00:32:06.360 --> 00:32:09.680
I'd go with them, but sometimes I want to stay in where we were at and play

475
00:32:09.680 --> 00:32:12.240
with something in the room and they don't want to leave and I'd be like,

476
00:32:12.880 --> 00:32:17.320
eh, you know, feeling left out and just will not listen to, I guess.

477
00:32:17.320 --> 00:32:19.960
And I just always felt less than everybody else.

478
00:32:20.040 --> 00:32:24.680
Like, um, one time when I was about a pair, so I was younger than that.

479
00:32:24.680 --> 00:32:25.920
I was like four years old.

480
00:32:25.920 --> 00:32:27.320
Maybe my parents weren't even divorced yet.

481
00:32:27.720 --> 00:32:29.840
And we had gone one night to visit one of our neighbors.

482
00:32:30.120 --> 00:32:31.080
I'm just remembering this.

483
00:32:31.080 --> 00:32:32.040
Like God must be reminding me.

484
00:32:32.680 --> 00:32:38.200
And, um, these people had apparently a little boy in our family and I was

485
00:32:38.200 --> 00:32:39.200
standing there with my parents.

486
00:32:39.200 --> 00:32:41.240
I was just talking about a talk to these people for a minute.

487
00:32:41.240 --> 00:32:42.680
And I saw this particular toy.

488
00:32:42.680 --> 00:32:44.480
I don't even remember what it was sitting there.

489
00:32:45.240 --> 00:32:46.680
And I was curious about it.

490
00:32:46.920 --> 00:32:50.280
So I start playing it and this little boy that lives there comes over.

491
00:32:50.800 --> 00:32:55.360
And my dad or something, my dad told me, uh, let the little boy play with it.

492
00:32:55.360 --> 00:32:57.800
Cause it was his toy, you know, which is fine.

493
00:32:57.920 --> 00:32:59.120
But just things like that.

494
00:32:59.120 --> 00:33:01.360
I just felt less than like I couldn't do.

495
00:33:01.920 --> 00:33:02.200
Yeah.

496
00:33:02.200 --> 00:33:06.400
When my dad said literally it was the way I interpreted myself and

497
00:33:06.600 --> 00:33:10.080
had that no one knew that I was like worthless, that I couldn't do that.

498
00:33:11.240 --> 00:33:14.280
You know, the other people got things that I couldn't have normal things.

499
00:33:14.280 --> 00:33:15.960
Cause I grew up, I was really, really allergic.

500
00:33:16.000 --> 00:33:17.080
I was allergic to breast milk.

501
00:33:17.480 --> 00:33:18.600
Then I was allergic to formula.

502
00:33:18.600 --> 00:33:20.040
Finally, mom found one I could drink.

503
00:33:20.560 --> 00:33:21.920
Then I started eating solid food.

504
00:33:21.920 --> 00:33:24.840
My grandfather told me he's deceased now told me one time I couldn't

505
00:33:24.840 --> 00:33:26.000
eat was green beans and chicken.

506
00:33:26.000 --> 00:33:27.120
And he was kind of exaggerating.

507
00:33:27.120 --> 00:33:29.280
I think that I was allergic to tons of different foods.

508
00:33:30.280 --> 00:33:32.200
And so I had a lot of problems from that.

509
00:33:32.640 --> 00:33:33.720
I had a cross by.

510
00:33:34.040 --> 00:33:36.120
I had, I'm going to have you, I'm going to have you pause.

511
00:33:36.280 --> 00:33:37.400
Hold on, hold on for me.

512
00:33:37.760 --> 00:33:41.800
So let's, let's just lean into this first thing that we were talking about.

513
00:33:41.800 --> 00:33:45.440
And I'm glad that the situation came up when you were younger.

514
00:33:45.640 --> 00:33:49.480
I think all of these things are kind of tying together, but in my spirit,

515
00:33:49.480 --> 00:33:54.360
like, even as you're talking, you know, part of the key, everyone is that we

516
00:33:54.360 --> 00:33:56.200
come out of agreement with these things.

517
00:33:56.200 --> 00:33:58.920
So when they come up and we might have to do it kind of

518
00:33:58.920 --> 00:34:00.600
repetitively for a little while.

519
00:34:00.840 --> 00:34:06.160
Like years ago, when I overcame a spirit of fear, um, part of it was coming out

520
00:34:06.160 --> 00:34:10.040
of a alignment and agreement with that, but it was also coming into agreement

521
00:34:10.040 --> 00:34:14.679
with truth, continuously speaking that out of my mouth over and over and over again.

522
00:34:14.920 --> 00:34:20.840
And so, you know, um, when the feelings of I'm less than or

523
00:34:20.840 --> 00:34:26.000
insignificance are rising up, what are you doing to come out of agreement

524
00:34:26.000 --> 00:34:30.400
with that and speak truth over yourself and partner with that instead?

525
00:34:30.920 --> 00:34:31.639
You know what I'm saying?

526
00:34:31.639 --> 00:34:36.840
So really like, and even the people that are very like, uh, they can pray

527
00:34:36.840 --> 00:34:38.560
for people, they hear the prophetic.

528
00:34:38.760 --> 00:34:42.719
Sometimes people forget to do these kinds of things that are causing

529
00:34:42.760 --> 00:34:45.920
them to shift into truth and partner with that.

530
00:34:47.239 --> 00:34:50.760
And so I would encourage you in the day, in the next like week to two weeks,

531
00:34:50.760 --> 00:34:55.920
just start tracking how often are you actually continuing to allow yourself

532
00:34:55.920 --> 00:34:59.760
to think on the, I'm not, I'm insignificant, and when you're

533
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.520
Missing judgmental things like, um, let me give this example too.

534
00:35:04.560 --> 00:35:09.760
If I had two people, one person over here and the other person here, this

535
00:35:09.760 --> 00:35:12.480
person is saying, I think she's awesome.

536
00:35:12.880 --> 00:35:15.840
This person over here is saying, I don't think she's that great.

537
00:35:16.760 --> 00:35:17.960
Which person is right.

538
00:35:22.000 --> 00:35:24.260
Neither one you all guess why?

539
00:35:24.940 --> 00:35:30.900
Because if I think I am a kind person that I'm generous, that I'm faithful,

540
00:35:31.180 --> 00:35:34.460
I'm not just talking ignorance, but in my heart, I know that that is

541
00:35:34.460 --> 00:35:36.620
the intention of my heart in my life.

542
00:35:37.140 --> 00:35:40.900
If that person, it doesn't mean that I don't care about their feelings or

543
00:35:40.900 --> 00:35:44.980
their thoughts, but I can't let their thoughts and the things that they think

544
00:35:44.980 --> 00:35:48.700
and say to define me, even the person that's saying the good stuff, because

545
00:35:48.700 --> 00:35:52.540
then I'm getting my worth from what someone's saying to me.

546
00:35:53.260 --> 00:35:56.060
And so then what happens if that person gets upset with me

547
00:35:56.060 --> 00:35:57.580
and now they change their mind?

548
00:35:58.940 --> 00:36:00.900
Do I then forget who I am?

549
00:36:01.980 --> 00:36:03.660
And, and again, there's no shame in judgment.

550
00:36:03.660 --> 00:36:06.340
Y'all I used to struggle with this very, very much.

551
00:36:06.540 --> 00:36:11.820
And so I've really been trying to lean into, okay, what do I believe?

552
00:36:12.300 --> 00:36:13.860
Lord, what do you believe about me?

553
00:36:13.860 --> 00:36:15.220
What do you say about me?

554
00:36:15.220 --> 00:36:18.140
Help me to hear what your spirit is saying louder than any voice of the

555
00:36:18.580 --> 00:36:21.340
enemy than any opinion of a person.

556
00:36:21.900 --> 00:36:25.540
Because y'all sometimes I, I coach and I teach and I think I did great.

557
00:36:25.540 --> 00:36:28.260
And I feel like, man, I don't know if that was as good.

558
00:36:28.260 --> 00:36:30.140
And then there's times I think I don't do as good.

559
00:36:30.140 --> 00:36:34.180
And people like, yes, I got, I got free and it's mind boggling.

560
00:36:34.180 --> 00:36:38.380
But see, that's, you know, God takes the things of the, the

561
00:36:38.420 --> 00:36:39.940
world to confound the wise.

562
00:36:39.940 --> 00:36:42.020
Like we don't have to understand.

563
00:36:42.380 --> 00:36:42.900
Right.

564
00:36:44.100 --> 00:36:46.220
We just need to know who we are in him.

565
00:36:46.780 --> 00:36:51.260
So I encourage you this next week, two weeks, start just journaling.

566
00:36:51.260 --> 00:36:54.220
When you're having these thoughts, these old beliefs are kicking in,

567
00:36:54.580 --> 00:36:56.460
literally write them down.

568
00:36:56.980 --> 00:37:01.700
And if they're like negative old things, cross that stuff out and ask God for the

569
00:37:01.700 --> 00:37:06.020
truth, get that revealing for healing cycle back out, get that back out.

570
00:37:06.020 --> 00:37:07.340
That's a tool in your tool belt.

571
00:37:07.340 --> 00:37:11.780
Get that out and go through that process and see what else God brings up for you.

572
00:37:11.780 --> 00:37:13.140
That was a great share, Tammy.

573
00:37:13.140 --> 00:37:15.540
Thank you so much for sharing that with us tonight.

574
00:37:15.540 --> 00:37:16.420
Don, go ahead.

575
00:37:18.660 --> 00:37:18.860
Okay.

576
00:37:18.860 --> 00:37:19.300
Hello.

577
00:37:19.540 --> 00:37:20.220
Hi everybody.

578
00:37:20.220 --> 00:37:20.700
I'm Bethany.

579
00:37:20.700 --> 00:37:24.700
So my question is, I had a setback and I was going to share that.

580
00:37:25.140 --> 00:37:29.940
So I, so I had some, what happened is I've been dealing with my orphan

581
00:37:29.940 --> 00:37:33.420
mentality, scarcity, that God doesn't want to bless me.

582
00:37:33.420 --> 00:37:36.940
And then when other people get blessed, I get jealous and I get offended.

583
00:37:37.180 --> 00:37:41.900
So I was working on that and I had the Lord show me in many different ways.

584
00:37:41.900 --> 00:37:43.460
How he really does love me.

585
00:37:43.460 --> 00:37:46.220
He cares about me and he does want to see me blessed.

586
00:37:46.700 --> 00:37:49.180
Like with the car, that was a really big thing.

587
00:37:49.460 --> 00:37:53.180
So then when something good happens, then you like the hard work, the

588
00:37:53.180 --> 00:37:54.940
devil's going to try to cause a setback.

589
00:37:55.500 --> 00:38:00.100
So what happened is I was in a meeting and there was a speaker, like a women's

590
00:38:00.100 --> 00:38:03.900
meeting, and this was like a, oh, no, a week or two ago, there was a woman

591
00:38:03.900 --> 00:38:08.540
speaking and I got very offended at what she said, because she was like, the

592
00:38:08.540 --> 00:38:14.580
speaker was bragging about, I guess, all the stuff she got and about prosperity

593
00:38:14.580 --> 00:38:17.700
and how rich she is and how it was all, God did this for her.

594
00:38:17.700 --> 00:38:18.780
God did that.

595
00:38:18.820 --> 00:38:19.820
God did this.

596
00:38:19.820 --> 00:38:21.300
And it was way overboard.

597
00:38:21.620 --> 00:38:25.580
It was very, um, braggadocio, very extravagant.

598
00:38:25.900 --> 00:38:30.260
Nobody else really got upset, but I got so upset and offended.

599
00:38:30.540 --> 00:38:32.900
I told my girlfriend, I said, I can't take this.

600
00:38:33.020 --> 00:38:34.940
Uh, this woman is crazy.

601
00:38:34.940 --> 00:38:36.340
I can't believe she's talking.

602
00:38:36.340 --> 00:38:40.820
And I walked out and I left and I was really mad and I could just huff and a pop.

603
00:38:40.900 --> 00:38:42.900
I'm just really mad with what she was saying.

604
00:38:43.220 --> 00:38:44.940
And I knew there's something wrong with me.

605
00:38:44.940 --> 00:38:48.660
It affected me to such a degree because she didn't know how I felt.

606
00:38:49.780 --> 00:38:54.420
So, so now I have an offense towards the woman, what she said.

607
00:38:55.180 --> 00:38:55.500
Yep.

608
00:38:55.500 --> 00:38:56.620
And here, here you go.

609
00:38:56.620 --> 00:38:58.260
Tonight's your night to let that go.

610
00:38:58.900 --> 00:38:59.180
Yeah.

611
00:38:59.260 --> 00:39:01.140
Offense is an opportunity for an upgrade.

612
00:39:01.300 --> 00:39:02.940
So you're about to have an upgrade.

613
00:39:03.140 --> 00:39:03.780
Another one.

614
00:39:03.780 --> 00:39:05.020
You've been having a couple lately.

615
00:39:05.260 --> 00:39:08.380
And so here's a couple of questions I have for you.

616
00:39:09.740 --> 00:39:11.420
Why was this so extravagant?

617
00:39:11.460 --> 00:39:13.140
Why was it too extravagant?

618
00:39:13.180 --> 00:39:15.340
Y'all God is extravagant.

619
00:39:15.980 --> 00:39:19.100
He's extravagant in his love and his blessings.

620
00:39:19.340 --> 00:39:21.180
And I get, I get, I get what you're saying.

621
00:39:21.380 --> 00:39:25.980
So I want you to, to know, I empathize with you because when I didn't have a lot,

622
00:39:25.980 --> 00:39:28.220
that kind of stuff was hard for me to hear too.

623
00:39:28.700 --> 00:39:32.420
Um, you know, when preachers would say someone just gave me a call and I'm like,

624
00:39:32.420 --> 00:39:36.860
it's breaking down like crazy, Lord, I'm praying for a car.

625
00:39:36.860 --> 00:39:40.780
I was praying for the, you know, we just, we don't fully know and understand.

626
00:39:40.780 --> 00:39:47.020
And it's not about that, but I think we need to look at why, why is, is something

627
00:39:47.020 --> 00:39:47.460
like that?

628
00:39:47.460 --> 00:39:48.660
Why do we not like that?

629
00:39:48.660 --> 00:39:53.820
Why don't we want to hear about the blessings that God gave to someone, even

630
00:39:53.820 --> 00:39:59.060
if it is, even if it's not a blessing, even if it's not a gift, even if it's not

631
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.160
Yeah, we can answer your question. It was a little too materialistic. A car can be a need,

632
00:40:04.160 --> 00:40:07.760
but she was talking about stuff that was very materialistic that was not a need.

633
00:40:08.400 --> 00:40:16.640
Okay, here we go. This is key. I'm curious, when you grew up, if you were told that certain types

634
00:40:16.640 --> 00:40:21.600
of things, if you want those things, that it's being materialistic, because that's a very

635
00:40:22.160 --> 00:40:33.200
specific word. To me, God has given me an upgrade in understanding that He cares about my needs

636
00:40:33.200 --> 00:40:43.440
and my wants. And my wants, you all. He gave Brian and I $500. I don't even know who gave it to us,

637
00:40:43.440 --> 00:40:49.040
because we wanted to go on a trip. It's with pastoral people, and we really want to connect

638
00:40:49.040 --> 00:40:54.720
with them. We're wanting community. And I was like, Lord, I don't think we should spend that

639
00:40:54.720 --> 00:40:59.920
money right now. And so you know what he did? He put it on someone else's heart to give us the

640
00:40:59.920 --> 00:41:08.640
money. So that might be offensive to someone, when I say that, even tonight. And even for you.

641
00:41:10.080 --> 00:41:16.640
And I'm not saying that to brag, but oh my gosh, that's the first time that's happened like that.

642
00:41:16.640 --> 00:41:22.480
I've had people bless me. Like when I went to Indiana, someone blessed me with money on the

643
00:41:22.480 --> 00:41:28.960
front end to pay, help me pay for that move. Not Brian. It was, I mean, he blessed me in other

644
00:41:28.960 --> 00:41:36.160
ways too, but this was someone that felt led to so into my love story. God is extravagant.

645
00:41:36.960 --> 00:41:42.720
He is. And so if we look at things and we're like, well, that's so materialistic, typically

646
00:41:43.280 --> 00:41:50.160
that came from somewhere. And I'm not saying like, yeah, I think there are people that can

647
00:41:50.160 --> 00:41:55.520
get excessive at times, but again, it's all our perspective of what is excessive. Isn't it?

648
00:41:57.600 --> 00:42:03.840
I grew up. Yeah, I know, Stephanie. I'm sorry. So I grew up like, so my parents were hippies and

649
00:42:03.840 --> 00:42:09.200
they were very non-materialistic. So they were from the sixties and everything was a need base,

650
00:42:09.920 --> 00:42:15.200
but materialism was not a good thing. Yeah. So that's, that's the root there.

651
00:42:15.760 --> 00:42:20.800
So I would encourage you to ask the Lord here. Here's when this stuff comes up, you all,

652
00:42:20.800 --> 00:42:27.920
it doesn't mean that we can't keep some of what we believe. Right. But let's just ask the Lord,

653
00:42:27.920 --> 00:42:36.400
like, God, is that how you look at this? God, is there anything that I learned growing up that I

654
00:42:36.400 --> 00:42:45.440
heard that isn't a part of the kingdom? And just start asking him and let him show you, because,

655
00:42:46.160 --> 00:42:55.600
you know, again, our perspective aligning with heaven is what matters. Not just me telling you

656
00:42:55.600 --> 00:43:00.160
what I think you should think. Does that make sense? Yeah. What are some scriptures you can

657
00:43:00.160 --> 00:43:04.000
give me for this? Cause I've had a lot. I mean, off the top of my head, I would have,

658
00:43:04.000 --> 00:43:09.120
I search just like you all do. I mean, I know the Bible pretty good, but I don't know it all by heart.

659
00:43:09.120 --> 00:43:14.640
And so I would encourage you for yourself. You all, I'm really big on you, you all doing the

660
00:43:14.640 --> 00:43:20.080
work. Cause guess what? At one point I had to do the work. So you go search for it, seek it out,

661
00:43:20.080 --> 00:43:25.920
let God speak to you about that personally, and then come back and share it with us.

662
00:43:25.920 --> 00:43:30.320
But when you said the term extravagant, where did we get that? The Bible, where would it even say

663
00:43:30.320 --> 00:43:35.360
God is extravagant? Like, I've never really heard that. Okay. It kind of blows me like, what? I mean,

664
00:43:35.360 --> 00:43:41.840
I've never like, what is. Yeah. God says he will chase us down with his goodness.

665
00:43:43.280 --> 00:43:50.080
He even, I mean, Elijah and all of them, I mean, they, they literally had provision coming out.

666
00:43:50.080 --> 00:43:55.040
I mean, they would go somewhere. Elijah's under a tree. God sends a bird and feeds them,

667
00:43:55.040 --> 00:44:00.080
gives them drink. Maybe that's not extravagant to you, but I'm kind of like,

668
00:44:00.080 --> 00:44:04.160
well, that's kind of extravagant. God used a bird to bring him some food.

669
00:44:06.240 --> 00:44:11.440
God does things in all kinds of ways. I think you're looking, you can look up. I mean,

670
00:44:13.440 --> 00:44:19.360
see if there is actual scripture. That's okay. That says extravagant, but it's more about what

671
00:44:19.360 --> 00:44:24.880
is extravagant. What about the situation where my heart is just more like, there's just a big

672
00:44:25.280 --> 00:44:28.240
thing here that keeps coming back. That makes me very offended.

673
00:44:28.800 --> 00:44:34.640
Well, because, because yeah, it's because it's been a stronghold for you. And so over time,

674
00:44:34.640 --> 00:44:40.320
that's going to get weaker and weaker and weaker. And one day, mark my words, one day you will not

675
00:44:40.320 --> 00:44:45.040
battle this the same way. But for right now, that's just part of you getting your freedom

676
00:44:45.040 --> 00:44:50.400
and your breakthrough and coming out of old mindsets and patterns of thinking that you

677
00:44:50.400 --> 00:44:57.760
have been in for a very long time. And so freedom can be a process sometimes. So keep with it. Way

678
00:44:57.760 --> 00:44:59.920
to go. You've been doing great. Do not give up.

679
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.400
up. Don't grow weary in well doing because in due season, you're going to keep reaping and

680
00:45:04.400 --> 00:45:09.040
understanding and growing. It's going to be really good. This is helping you. I know it hurts

681
00:45:09.040 --> 00:45:13.920
sometimes, but it is helping you. I'm going to go on to Carrie. Thank you so much for sharing, Dawn.

682
00:45:16.720 --> 00:45:23.600
Hi, can you hear me? Yep. Okay. So a little tender heart right now because I just had a breakup on

683
00:45:23.600 --> 00:45:31.200
Monday. A lot of the issues that I'm going through, it's happened after breakups in the past.

684
00:45:32.560 --> 00:45:37.200
The one thing that I've noticed is if there's a person who has a big personality, I shut down

685
00:45:38.080 --> 00:45:44.800
and I can't be myself. I just think back on the past things that we were

686
00:45:46.560 --> 00:45:51.600
on dates and everything like that because he did have a big personality. I loved that about him,

687
00:45:51.600 --> 00:45:57.200
but I shut down because I was too scared to be myself. I would get really, really quiet and

688
00:45:57.200 --> 00:46:05.280
reserved. Or on the reverse of that, I would have to show up being on because I am an introvert.

689
00:46:05.280 --> 00:46:14.000
I'm a little more quiet. They kind of compete with each other where I want to be myself,

690
00:46:14.000 --> 00:46:19.760
but I also want to be on and show them that I'm having fun. Then I'm also really scared

691
00:46:20.480 --> 00:46:27.360
with the big personality that's there. Then of course, after the breakup, there's the fear of,

692
00:46:27.360 --> 00:46:33.280
oh my gosh, I can't do this. I don't know how to do this and I don't know if this is ever going to

693
00:46:33.280 --> 00:46:41.200
happen. Okay. Two things here. The big personality shut down, can't be myself, too scared to be

694
00:46:41.200 --> 00:46:46.960
yourself. Those are things that I heard you saying. I'm curious, when is the first time,

695
00:46:46.960 --> 00:46:51.920
who's the first person you ever felt yourself do that with? Where they had a big personality,

696
00:46:51.920 --> 00:46:56.320
is there someone in your family that has a big personality that you do that with? Who is it?

697
00:46:56.880 --> 00:47:02.960
It's my sister. She was the beautiful one. She still is the beautiful one. She's the seen one.

698
00:47:03.600 --> 00:47:10.880
Everybody knew who she was and people had no idea who I was when I came through school because I

699
00:47:10.880 --> 00:47:15.920
lived in a small town and everybody knew my family. They knew right away who she was and

700
00:47:15.920 --> 00:47:21.520
it would take them till the second semester to figure out who I was. All right. So guess what?

701
00:47:21.520 --> 00:47:27.840
That word tonight about coming out of the shadows, my friend, that is for you. Okay. I feel this in

702
00:47:27.840 --> 00:47:34.400
the Holy Spirit so much. You said she was the beautiful one. Yeah. Hello. Do you see yourself?

703
00:47:35.360 --> 00:47:46.080
So this is where the value in knowing who you are. I understand a lot of people face this stuff

704
00:47:46.080 --> 00:47:50.000
when they grow up and they have siblings and there's comparison that goes on in the home and

705
00:47:50.000 --> 00:47:55.040
or even out in public and people aren't trying to compare but they just say something to one

706
00:47:55.040 --> 00:47:59.680
sibling and then the other one's left feeling like they're not enough or they're not, they don't

707
00:47:59.680 --> 00:48:04.640
measure up to that other person. And this can happen even with, you know, like I felt like that

708
00:48:04.640 --> 00:48:08.800
with my oldest brother, not because I thought he was more beautiful than me, but he was very

709
00:48:08.800 --> 00:48:14.560
accomplished and I felt like everybody was like, oh, you got to be like Brian, you know, all this

710
00:48:14.560 --> 00:48:21.840
stuff. And so I want to encourage you to A, come out of alignment with the lie that she is the

711
00:48:21.840 --> 00:48:29.200
beautiful one and you're not. Huge right there. Number two, I want you to ask the Lord to help

712
00:48:29.280 --> 00:48:38.560
you really know the first time that you shut down with your sister when she was around, something

713
00:48:38.560 --> 00:48:45.360
that happened that caught like where you caused or where it caused you, excuse me, to pull back and

714
00:48:45.360 --> 00:48:52.720
feel like you were scared to actually be yourself. And just see what God brings up for you because

715
00:48:52.720 --> 00:48:57.360
that's going to be a thread. I like to call it a thread to pull on. That's kind of been my phrase

716
00:48:57.360 --> 00:49:01.760
lately. It may not show you everything, but I think it's going to be the place to start. That's

717
00:49:01.760 --> 00:49:10.880
going to lead you to some other stuff. Because here's the thing. You can show up in the world

718
00:49:10.880 --> 00:49:20.480
and just be who you are. And that is enough. But me telling you that and you believing it

719
00:49:20.480 --> 00:49:26.320
for yourself are two different things. So really leaning into that. The second, those, those two

720
00:49:26.320 --> 00:49:31.280
things that I gave you there. The next thing is the breakup. And then you said you had a lot of

721
00:49:31.280 --> 00:49:38.320
fear. I can't do this. You know, I think you said maybe I'm not good enough or said something there.

722
00:49:38.320 --> 00:49:42.720
So that kind of partners with the other stuff. I'm not good enough because you were always in

723
00:49:42.720 --> 00:49:48.320
sister's shadow. So now here's this guy you're dating. And it kind of sounds like maybe you

724
00:49:48.320 --> 00:49:54.560
started feeling like you were in his shadow too, or that you had to kind of really put yourself up

725
00:49:54.560 --> 00:49:59.680
more than you felt comfortable doing to keep up with him. In a sense. A lot of times that's where

726
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.780
And we think we're not on the same level as someone else.

727
00:50:03.780 --> 00:50:07.060
It's a value, it's a heart worth value issue.

728
00:50:07.060 --> 00:50:12.060
Yeah, because he could actually articulate very, very well.

729
00:50:12.580 --> 00:50:15.100
And I'm a processor where I need to sit and think.

730
00:50:15.100 --> 00:50:16.460
And so we would bring up,

731
00:50:17.460 --> 00:50:19.340
we would just bring up things that we need,

732
00:50:19.340 --> 00:50:20.940
we were talking about working on

733
00:50:20.940 --> 00:50:24.580
and I was very vulnerable with them, which is a good thing.

734
00:50:24.580 --> 00:50:27.700
That normally I'm not, so I'm proud of myself on that.

735
00:50:27.720 --> 00:50:31.200
But when he would ask questions,

736
00:50:31.200 --> 00:50:33.760
like to the point of when we were gonna be exclusive,

737
00:50:33.760 --> 00:50:35.760
he goes, what does it mean to you for being exclusive?

738
00:50:35.760 --> 00:50:37.920
And my mind just would shut down.

739
00:50:37.920 --> 00:50:39.640
And he goes, this is what it means for me.

740
00:50:39.640 --> 00:50:41.960
And I couldn't articulate,

741
00:50:41.960 --> 00:50:45.880
even though I know it, I couldn't articulate it.

742
00:50:45.880 --> 00:50:49.160
Yeah, and so just, I'm just sensing too,

743
00:50:49.160 --> 00:50:51.600
I feel like you need to give yourself some grace.

744
00:50:51.600 --> 00:50:54.960
I feel like you're kind of being real hard on yourself

745
00:50:54.960 --> 00:50:58.620
and you all, we grow as we go.

746
00:50:58.620 --> 00:51:02.580
I think, sometimes what I'm seeing is people feel like

747
00:51:02.580 --> 00:51:05.300
they have to have it all figured out all the time.

748
00:51:05.300 --> 00:51:07.260
And if they don't, then they're not enough

749
00:51:07.260 --> 00:51:08.820
or they've messed up.

750
00:51:08.820 --> 00:51:10.980
So I love that you're seeing the way

751
00:51:10.980 --> 00:51:13.640
that this relationship helped you grow.

752
00:51:13.640 --> 00:51:15.340
Cause I heard you say a couple of things

753
00:51:15.340 --> 00:51:16.680
that you learned about yourself

754
00:51:16.680 --> 00:51:19.040
and you got out of your comfort zone a little bit

755
00:51:19.040 --> 00:51:19.880
in some ways.

756
00:51:19.880 --> 00:51:23.220
And so as you go forward, you can do this.

757
00:51:23.240 --> 00:51:25.400
You're learning, you're learning.

758
00:51:25.400 --> 00:51:28.320
It's kind of like, when we first learned how,

759
00:51:28.320 --> 00:51:30.640
and not that I'm saying this is where you're at,

760
00:51:30.640 --> 00:51:33.360
but when we first learned how to ride a bike,

761
00:51:33.360 --> 00:51:35.480
we had training wheels, a lot of us,

762
00:51:35.480 --> 00:51:37.700
unless you were like me, someone put you on a bike

763
00:51:37.700 --> 00:51:39.060
and they just shoved you down a hill

764
00:51:39.060 --> 00:51:42.040
and you learned how to ride or you were gonna fall.

765
00:51:42.040 --> 00:51:45.360
But like a lot of us had training wheels and it took time.

766
00:51:45.360 --> 00:51:47.880
And then when we were ready for a bigger,

767
00:51:47.880 --> 00:51:49.520
then the training wheels got taken off

768
00:51:49.520 --> 00:51:51.620
and then you get a bigger bike and it keeps,

769
00:51:51.620 --> 00:51:53.200
I want you to kind of think of it like that.

770
00:51:53.980 --> 00:51:55.220
And it doesn't mean that you have to have multiple,

771
00:51:55.220 --> 00:51:56.900
maybe you will, I don't know,

772
00:51:56.900 --> 00:51:59.560
but like you're growing and you're learning.

773
00:51:59.560 --> 00:52:02.340
I feel like it's gonna be an important part

774
00:52:02.340 --> 00:52:03.660
of your confidence.

775
00:52:03.660 --> 00:52:05.320
Like that stuff I was talking about earlier,

776
00:52:05.320 --> 00:52:07.720
where your backbone's kind of strengthening,

777
00:52:07.720 --> 00:52:09.280
you're figuring out who you are

778
00:52:09.280 --> 00:52:12.060
outside of the shadow of other people

779
00:52:12.060 --> 00:52:16.660
and just really loving, loving Carrie,

780
00:52:16.660 --> 00:52:18.820
loving Carrie really well.

781
00:52:18.820 --> 00:52:20.980
So you might need to,

782
00:52:20.980 --> 00:52:22.220
I don't know if you heard the HeartWorks,

783
00:52:22.220 --> 00:52:24.240
Advanced HeartWork the last time I did it,

784
00:52:24.240 --> 00:52:26.760
but I kind of released an idea about

785
00:52:28.560 --> 00:52:31.320
writing all, like doing a silhouette of yourself

786
00:52:31.320 --> 00:52:33.480
and writing all of the positive statements

787
00:52:33.480 --> 00:52:35.320
from the Lord about who you are.

788
00:52:35.320 --> 00:52:38.620
I really would encourage you if you haven't heard that,

789
00:52:38.620 --> 00:52:42.560
that will be in the training tab under the paths

790
00:52:42.560 --> 00:52:44.480
and you'll just have to look.

791
00:52:44.480 --> 00:52:47.440
I think it was July 29th I did that last Advanced HeartWork.

792
00:52:47.440 --> 00:52:49.600
You might wanna listen to that one as well.

793
00:52:50.500 --> 00:52:53.540
Okay, so work on those and then come back

794
00:52:53.540 --> 00:52:54.920
and post in the group and let us know

795
00:52:54.920 --> 00:52:56.540
how you're doing on that, okay?

796
00:52:56.540 --> 00:52:58.940
For everybody that I gave feedback to,

797
00:52:58.940 --> 00:53:00.140
because that's how you're gonna continue

798
00:53:00.140 --> 00:53:01.300
to implement this stuff.

799
00:53:01.300 --> 00:53:03.520
Thank you so much for sharing, Carrie.

800
00:53:03.520 --> 00:53:05.880
All right, so I know I have a ton more hands.

801
00:53:05.880 --> 00:53:07.700
I'm gonna try my best to get to more of you,

802
00:53:07.700 --> 00:53:10.540
but I also wanna give some additional content.

803
00:53:10.540 --> 00:53:13.100
I wanna get you guys reactivated and re-engaged

804
00:53:13.100 --> 00:53:15.140
because I know it can get long

805
00:53:15.140 --> 00:53:16.420
when we're just sitting here, right?

806
00:53:16.420 --> 00:53:18.420
So kind of stretch, move around.

807
00:53:19.660 --> 00:53:21.420
I wanna talk to you about fear.

808
00:53:21.420 --> 00:53:22.900
Fear is coming up a lot tonight.

809
00:53:22.900 --> 00:53:27.260
So I feel like this is the Lord preparing in advance.

810
00:53:27.260 --> 00:53:29.380
What fears are you facing right now?

811
00:53:29.380 --> 00:53:31.520
So some of you are already talking about fears

812
00:53:31.520 --> 00:53:33.940
that are coming up, fears that you're not enough,

813
00:53:33.940 --> 00:53:36.820
fears that like when mom judges or when,

814
00:53:36.820 --> 00:53:39.220
even when we hear something and it offends us,

815
00:53:39.220 --> 00:53:40.660
like, why can't I get past this?

816
00:53:40.660 --> 00:53:43.340
So that can cause fear or anxiety.

817
00:53:43.340 --> 00:53:46.660
Fear remembers false evidence appearing real.

818
00:53:46.660 --> 00:53:51.160
So it seems like it is real, but it's false.

819
00:53:52.760 --> 00:53:57.760
Anxiety is fueled by fear and what if thoughts.

820
00:54:01.120 --> 00:54:03.860
Thank you, Cheryl, for putting that in the chat for us.

821
00:54:05.040 --> 00:54:07.720
Anxiety is fueled by fear and what if thoughts.

822
00:54:07.720 --> 00:54:11.200
So if you tend to be an anxious person,

823
00:54:12.360 --> 00:54:16.140
remember being anxious is not your identity.

824
00:54:17.360 --> 00:54:20.360
Super important that you differentiate

825
00:54:20.360 --> 00:54:24.000
between something you struggle with and your identity.

826
00:54:24.000 --> 00:54:27.560
You can say, hey, I struggle with feeling anxious

827
00:54:27.560 --> 00:54:32.560
or I am battling with worry or panic,

828
00:54:32.660 --> 00:54:36.080
but don't own that stuff as your identity.

829
00:54:36.080 --> 00:54:37.800
So for example, years ago,

830
00:54:37.800 --> 00:54:41.760
I used to struggle with anxiety really like massively.

831
00:54:41.760 --> 00:54:44.080
And I remember one day just saying to the Lord,

832
00:54:44.080 --> 00:54:46.000
like, why did you make me this way?

833
00:54:46.960 --> 00:54:48.760
And he said, I didn't.

834
00:54:48.760 --> 00:54:49.760
And I was like, what?

835
00:54:49.760 --> 00:54:50.600
Yes, you did.

836
00:54:50.600 --> 00:54:52.240
I've been like this since I was little.

837
00:54:52.240 --> 00:54:54.640
I just remember always being like this.

838
00:54:54.640 --> 00:54:58.640
And he said, Bethany, I did not create you that way.

839
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.100
and the stuff that I went through,

840
00:55:03.100 --> 00:55:06.620
and just because I didn't know any better as a little kid,

841
00:55:06.620 --> 00:55:10.260
lies I believed, you know, allowed that stuff to enter.

842
00:55:10.260 --> 00:55:13.060
And then the more I, you know, didn't know that,

843
00:55:13.060 --> 00:55:15.060
the more it got kind of defined

844
00:55:15.060 --> 00:55:17.940
and that stronghold got built in there.

845
00:55:17.940 --> 00:55:21.020
And so there have been, to what kind of Don was saying,

846
00:55:21.020 --> 00:55:23.540
there have been times where I was past it.

847
00:55:23.540 --> 00:55:25.420
I had breakthrough, I had freedom.

848
00:55:25.420 --> 00:55:27.660
And then when I went through all those betrayals

849
00:55:27.660 --> 00:55:30.460
in that last relationship, it was like a floodgate

850
00:55:30.460 --> 00:55:32.460
just opened the doors wide open

851
00:55:32.460 --> 00:55:35.160
to all that anxiety and panic again.

852
00:55:35.160 --> 00:55:38.620
And I was kind of like how she was saying,

853
00:55:38.620 --> 00:55:39.980
like, why am I dealing with this again?

854
00:55:39.980 --> 00:55:41.500
I thought I was already free from this.

855
00:55:41.500 --> 00:55:44.780
And so that's when I had that conversation with the Lord.

856
00:55:44.780 --> 00:55:45.980
Why did you make me this way?

857
00:55:45.980 --> 00:55:47.520
And he said, I didn't.

858
00:55:47.520 --> 00:55:50.340
So that was the day that I got the revelation on,

859
00:55:50.340 --> 00:55:53.540
anxiety is something that I struggle with

860
00:55:53.540 --> 00:55:55.060
or have struggled with,

861
00:55:55.100 --> 00:55:59.340
but it is not how God made me, okay?

862
00:55:59.340 --> 00:56:01.300
So whatever it is that you all are struggling with,

863
00:56:01.300 --> 00:56:05.420
make sure you're not claiming that as this is just who I am.

864
00:56:05.420 --> 00:56:07.500
This is how I'm always going to be.

865
00:56:07.500 --> 00:56:08.820
If you're saying stuff like that

866
00:56:08.820 --> 00:56:10.660
or thinking stuff like that,

867
00:56:10.660 --> 00:56:13.500
that's what we're going to produce.

868
00:56:13.500 --> 00:56:15.340
Remember, whatever we put in our heart,

869
00:56:15.340 --> 00:56:18.180
whatever gets in here is what comes out.

870
00:56:19.300 --> 00:56:22.500
All right, Proverbs 12, 25 says,

871
00:56:22.580 --> 00:56:24.380
anxiety weighs down the heart,

872
00:56:24.380 --> 00:56:28.420
but a kind word cheers it up.

873
00:56:28.420 --> 00:56:31.180
So how kind have you been to yourself lately?

874
00:56:33.300 --> 00:56:35.660
Kind words from other people can also cheer you up,

875
00:56:35.660 --> 00:56:39.220
but kind words from yourself can also cheer you up.

876
00:56:39.220 --> 00:56:41.580
So again, anxiety weighs down the heart,

877
00:56:41.580 --> 00:56:43.300
but a kind word cheers it up.

878
00:56:44.140 --> 00:56:46.260
I want to encourage you to resist the what ifs.

879
00:56:46.260 --> 00:56:48.380
So just like I was saying earlier,

880
00:56:48.380 --> 00:56:49.980
we got to take these thoughts captive

881
00:56:49.980 --> 00:56:53.540
and make them obedient to Jesus Christ in the word,

882
00:56:54.540 --> 00:56:57.780
resisting every thought that does not align with heaven,

883
00:56:57.780 --> 00:56:59.460
including all of the what ifs.

884
00:56:59.460 --> 00:57:00.300
What if this?

885
00:57:00.300 --> 00:57:01.140
What if that?

886
00:57:01.140 --> 00:57:02.220
What if they think this?

887
00:57:02.220 --> 00:57:04.820
That whole rabbit trail that people go down.

888
00:57:04.820 --> 00:57:06.180
So I want you to ask yourself,

889
00:57:06.180 --> 00:57:08.460
if you're someone that struggles with anxiety

890
00:57:08.460 --> 00:57:13.100
and anxious thinking, ask yourself a couple things.

891
00:57:13.100 --> 00:57:14.420
Here they are.

892
00:57:14.420 --> 00:57:15.980
What are the facts?

893
00:57:16.980 --> 00:57:19.220
What are the facts of this situation?

894
00:57:21.580 --> 00:57:23.660
What is true?

895
00:57:23.660 --> 00:57:27.540
Like what can you actually prove to be true?

896
00:57:27.540 --> 00:57:29.460
So for example,

897
00:57:31.780 --> 00:57:34.540
let's say someone's not texting you back

898
00:57:35.580 --> 00:57:37.900
and you automatically believe the worst.

899
00:57:40.180 --> 00:57:43.660
There's probably what ifs feeding that

900
00:57:44.500 --> 00:57:47.940
unless you have truth and facts to support it.

901
00:57:49.580 --> 00:57:51.980
Sometimes y'all people are just busy

902
00:57:52.940 --> 00:57:54.820
and it doesn't mean they don't care.

903
00:57:54.820 --> 00:57:58.540
Sometimes people don't know how they feel

904
00:57:58.540 --> 00:57:59.620
about moving forward.

905
00:57:59.620 --> 00:58:01.500
And so they don't know how to communicate that.

906
00:58:01.500 --> 00:58:03.820
And they might be leaning into their old patterns

907
00:58:03.820 --> 00:58:06.180
and behaviors and trying to figure that out.

908
00:58:06.180 --> 00:58:07.820
I'm not saying we got to stick with those people,

909
00:58:07.820 --> 00:58:09.900
but just understand it doesn't always mean

910
00:58:09.900 --> 00:58:11.740
that you're not enough.

911
00:58:11.780 --> 00:58:14.180
It doesn't always mean that you're not good enough for them.

912
00:58:14.180 --> 00:58:17.020
It just means that they're not texting you back

913
00:58:17.020 --> 00:58:18.220
for whatever reason.

914
00:58:19.380 --> 00:58:22.340
But so many of you, myself included in the past,

915
00:58:22.340 --> 00:58:24.420
we take that stuff on ourselves

916
00:58:24.420 --> 00:58:26.500
and claim it as a part of who we are.

917
00:58:26.500 --> 00:58:29.500
And this is how it's just always going to be for me.

918
00:58:31.140 --> 00:58:33.220
Okay, that's not true.

919
00:58:33.220 --> 00:58:37.340
Ask God to help you to discern

920
00:58:38.260 --> 00:58:40.100
things that are true or false.

921
00:58:40.100 --> 00:58:45.100
Remember, fear is false evidence appearing real, okay?

922
00:58:45.100 --> 00:58:46.380
We can overcome our fears,

923
00:58:46.380 --> 00:58:48.220
the more we heal and become more rooted

924
00:58:48.220 --> 00:58:51.500
in God's love and faithfulness to us.

925
00:58:51.500 --> 00:58:53.340
So what are you rooted in?

926
00:58:53.340 --> 00:58:56.700
Like what does your soil look like right now?

927
00:58:57.900 --> 00:59:02.540
And this isn't about check the box, I went to church.

928
00:59:02.540 --> 00:59:05.180
This is about, I'm talking about like in your heart,

929
00:59:05.180 --> 00:59:07.300
like what are you rooted in?

930
00:59:08.300 --> 00:59:11.180
Have you been meditating on how much God loves you?

931
00:59:12.180 --> 00:59:15.540
Have you been meditating on your worth in him?

932
00:59:15.540 --> 00:59:17.620
If not, again, this is not to shame you.

933
00:59:17.620 --> 00:59:20.580
I just want to tell you, that's what's going to help you.

934
00:59:20.580 --> 00:59:23.420
I know you all, we want to meet somebody right away,

935
00:59:23.420 --> 00:59:26.460
but if we don't know who we are,

936
00:59:27.860 --> 00:59:31.220
you're going to go into that relationship broken

937
00:59:31.220 --> 00:59:33.700
and it's going to make it a lot harder.

938
00:59:33.740 --> 00:59:36.940
So become a whole person individually

939
00:59:36.940 --> 00:59:40.060
so that you're bringing that to the table.

940
00:59:40.060 --> 00:59:42.300
And again, that can be in process.

941
00:59:42.300 --> 00:59:44.900
It doesn't mean that I wasn't perfect when I met Brian.

942
00:59:44.900 --> 00:59:46.660
Y'all, I've done a lot of healing

943
00:59:46.660 --> 00:59:48.980
in the three years I've known him.

944
00:59:48.980 --> 00:59:50.820
And two of which we've been married.

945
00:59:50.820 --> 00:59:52.740
We still even tonight just talking,

946
00:59:52.740 --> 00:59:56.580
like God's always healing, he's redeeming, he's restoring.

947
00:59:56.580 --> 00:59:57.900
It's a process.

948
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:02.360
But what are you rooted in right now?

949
01:00:02.360 --> 01:00:03.800
1 John 4, 18 says,

950
01:00:03.800 --> 01:00:05.080
there is no fear in love,

951
01:00:05.080 --> 01:00:08.800
but perfect love drives out fear.

952
01:00:08.800 --> 01:00:10.960
Because fear has to do with torment.

953
01:00:10.960 --> 01:00:12.920
Some versions say punishment.

954
01:00:12.920 --> 01:00:16.120
The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

955
01:00:17.000 --> 01:00:18.840
What fears do you need to invite

956
01:00:18.840 --> 01:00:20.800
the love of God into tonight?

957
01:00:21.880 --> 01:00:24.360
And ask him for insight and revealing for healing

958
01:00:24.360 --> 01:00:25.880
so that you can step into freedom.

959
01:00:25.880 --> 01:00:27.120
So let's see the fears.

960
01:00:27.120 --> 01:00:28.240
I wanna see them in the chat.

961
01:00:28.240 --> 01:00:30.520
Let's start to put those in there.

962
01:00:30.520 --> 01:00:33.640
What fear, like tonight for you,

963
01:00:33.640 --> 01:00:35.320
where are you gonna invite God in

964
01:00:35.320 --> 01:00:37.000
to bring his love into that fear,

965
01:00:37.000 --> 01:00:39.560
that place of fear that you're having,

966
01:00:39.560 --> 01:00:41.440
the stuff that's been stirring,

967
01:00:41.440 --> 01:00:44.360
the questions and the lies,

968
01:00:44.360 --> 01:00:46.120
whatever that sounds like for you.

969
01:00:49.920 --> 01:00:52.520
Fear of actually meeting a potential man for initial date.

970
01:00:52.520 --> 01:00:53.360
What if I fail?

971
01:00:53.360 --> 01:00:55.000
Fear of dating, I'm not enough.

972
01:00:55.000 --> 01:00:57.200
Fear of intimacy, fear of dating.

973
01:00:59.240 --> 01:01:02.480
So Naomi, I feel like that kind of partnered

974
01:01:02.480 --> 01:01:04.480
with the answer you gave earlier.

975
01:01:04.480 --> 01:01:08.240
Fear, so intimacy is into me see.

976
01:01:08.240 --> 01:01:12.280
So it's that you're afraid of them really seeing you.

977
01:01:12.280 --> 01:01:15.120
So I'd encourage you to ask the Lord,

978
01:01:15.120 --> 01:01:17.920
like where did that hiding start?

979
01:01:17.920 --> 01:01:22.840
Like, and that, ask him to help you come out of hiding

980
01:01:22.840 --> 01:01:25.640
and really see yourself for who you are.

981
01:01:25.680 --> 01:01:28.960
Your worth is far above Ruby's, my friend.

982
01:01:28.960 --> 01:01:31.000
All right, where do you need to choose

983
01:01:31.000 --> 01:01:34.080
to come out of alignment with a life of torment?

984
01:01:35.720 --> 01:01:38.280
For some of you, I heard the Lord say that specifically,

985
01:01:38.280 --> 01:01:42.440
like some of you have partnered with a life of torment

986
01:01:42.440 --> 01:01:45.600
for so long that you just think that's your life.

987
01:01:45.600 --> 01:01:48.560
And that's all, and you're trying to break free from it,

988
01:01:48.560 --> 01:01:49.680
but then every time you do,

989
01:01:49.680 --> 01:01:51.480
you just keep feeling like you're being pulled

990
01:01:51.480 --> 01:01:52.760
right back into it.

991
01:01:52.760 --> 01:01:55.560
But part of that is because you keep telling yourself

992
01:01:56.360 --> 01:01:59.560
that this is your life and that that's all

993
01:01:59.560 --> 01:02:01.840
that there is for you, but that's not true.

994
01:02:01.840 --> 01:02:05.280
So where are you believing in partnering with lies

995
01:02:05.280 --> 01:02:06.800
that don't reflect the love

996
01:02:06.800 --> 01:02:08.840
and the heart of the Father for you?

997
01:02:09.760 --> 01:02:12.280
All right, one more scripture for you,

998
01:02:12.280 --> 01:02:14.240
and then I'm gonna come back to the people to coach.

999
01:02:14.240 --> 01:02:17.800
John 1, 5, this is the amplified version, you all.

1000
01:02:19.080 --> 01:02:19.920
Excuse me.

1001
01:02:20.920 --> 01:02:25.160
The light shines on in the darkness,

1002
01:02:25.160 --> 01:02:29.040
did not understand it, or overpower it,

1003
01:02:29.040 --> 01:02:32.200
or appropriate it, or absorb it,

1004
01:02:32.200 --> 01:02:36.000
and is unreceptive to it.

1005
01:02:36.000 --> 01:02:37.200
I'm gonna read it again.

1006
01:02:37.200 --> 01:02:42.200
The light, capital L, shines on in the darkness,

1007
01:02:42.520 --> 01:02:45.440
did not understand it, or overpower it,

1008
01:02:45.440 --> 01:02:48.080
or appropriate it, or absorb it,

1009
01:02:49.000 --> 01:02:51.480
and is unreceptive to darkness.

1010
01:02:51.480 --> 01:02:54.840
The light is unreceptive to darkness.

1011
01:02:54.840 --> 01:02:59.840
So if we have any area where we have torment,

1012
01:03:00.960 --> 01:03:04.320
fear, panic, dread, worry,

1013
01:03:05.080 --> 01:03:07.760
these insidious thoughts,

1014
01:03:07.760 --> 01:03:09.440
these things that just over and over,

1015
01:03:09.440 --> 01:03:11.440
they're just constantly going,

1016
01:03:11.440 --> 01:03:14.440
y'all, that's part, there's darkness there.

1017
01:03:15.400 --> 01:03:18.240
Not that you're dark, okay?

1018
01:03:18.240 --> 01:03:21.080
But the truth is, is that we believe lies in those areas.

1019
01:03:21.080 --> 01:03:23.800
That means that we need light to come in

1020
01:03:23.800 --> 01:03:26.600
and shine and illuminate, because guess what?

1021
01:03:26.600 --> 01:03:30.520
That light will never get absorbed into that darkness,

1022
01:03:30.520 --> 01:03:33.280
because the light is always stronger.

1023
01:03:38.760 --> 01:03:41.440
Let the light of heaven shine into the dark areas

1024
01:03:41.440 --> 01:03:43.360
of your heart tonight.

1025
01:03:43.360 --> 01:03:45.240
Again, there's no shame, you all, okay?

1026
01:03:45.240 --> 01:03:47.080
So wherever you're at, that's where you're at,

1027
01:03:47.080 --> 01:03:49.680
but this is the continuing point.

1028
01:03:49.680 --> 01:03:51.680
It's not a starting point, but it's a continuing point.

1029
01:03:51.680 --> 01:03:55.440
We are becoming more like Christ, hopefully, every day,

1030
01:03:56.800 --> 01:03:57.640
right?

1031
01:03:58.760 --> 01:04:00.280
Yeah.

1032
01:04:00.280 --> 01:04:03.920
So it says to put on love, to put on hope,

1033
01:04:03.920 --> 01:04:07.000
to not take it off, to put on joy.

1034
01:04:07.000 --> 01:04:10.920
This is a practice, it's a lifestyle, all right?

1035
01:04:10.920 --> 01:04:14.640
Okay, I'm gonna come over to Hunter.

1036
01:04:14.640 --> 01:04:16.400
I see that you're about to jump off.

1037
01:04:16.400 --> 01:04:17.840
Do you still wanna share?

1038
01:04:20.880 --> 01:04:21.720
Oh, you're on mute.

1039
01:04:23.080 --> 01:04:26.720
Oh, okay, I was gonna let one person go first ahead of me.

1040
01:04:27.840 --> 01:04:30.400
Yeah, we can let someone else go, that's totally fine.

1041
01:04:30.400 --> 01:04:31.920
And I can come next.

1042
01:04:31.920 --> 01:04:34.840
Okay, Gabriella, go ahead.

1043
01:04:41.520 --> 01:04:42.360
Okay.

1044
01:04:44.120 --> 01:04:47.680
I've been walking through a really challenging season

1045
01:04:47.680 --> 01:04:50.240
that's just dragging on and on forever.

1046
01:04:50.240 --> 01:04:53.480
And a lot of the things that you've been talking about

1047
01:04:53.480 --> 01:04:54.600
definitely apply to me.

1048
01:04:55.880 --> 01:04:58.600
The fears that are coming up are like,

1049
01:04:58.600 --> 01:04:59.880
number one, I,

1050
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.000
I escaped a very bad situation seven years ago and it just feels never ending.

1051
01:05:06.000 --> 01:05:11.820
And like, this is like, I'm not really free and this is holding me back from everything

1052
01:05:11.820 --> 01:05:12.820
that I want to do.

1053
01:05:12.820 --> 01:05:19.200
Like I want God to use my testimony to help other people, but I just feel stuck.

1054
01:05:19.200 --> 01:05:23.820
And yeah, that's the main thing right now.

1055
01:05:23.820 --> 01:05:31.420
So what is the, tell me one or two fears that you're hearing right now.

1056
01:05:31.420 --> 01:05:37.920
I have a really tormenting fear that if I make any mistakes that I'll lose God's protection

1057
01:05:37.920 --> 01:05:40.700
over me and my kids.

1058
01:05:40.700 --> 01:05:46.340
And I've been struggling with anxiety and like PTSD that is preventing me from doing

1059
01:05:46.340 --> 01:05:49.700
things I need to do.

1060
01:05:49.700 --> 01:05:55.280
And then I beat myself up for not doing those things and it's just a vicious cycle.

1061
01:05:55.280 --> 01:06:00.860
And then I get, then I'm afraid that because I'm not doing the things I need to do, that

1062
01:06:00.860 --> 01:06:05.260
God's going to punish me or that I'm going to lose his protection.

1063
01:06:05.260 --> 01:06:10.740
And yeah, I feel like I remember maybe doing a little bit of work with you before about

1064
01:06:10.740 --> 01:06:11.740
your dad.

1065
01:06:11.740 --> 01:06:16.740
I mean, I definitely think some of this connects back there.

1066
01:06:16.780 --> 01:06:20.660
One of the things that I think is really important, any mistakes, you're afraid that you'll lose

1067
01:06:20.660 --> 01:06:22.460
God's protection.

1068
01:06:22.460 --> 01:06:27.900
So God's protection doesn't change you all like his love.

1069
01:06:27.900 --> 01:06:31.620
He doesn't, he is love.

1070
01:06:31.620 --> 01:06:36.460
Like God is love.

1071
01:06:36.460 --> 01:06:39.780
And I know we hear that all the time, but just like, think about that.

1072
01:06:39.780 --> 01:06:46.260
Like everything that he is emanates that even to you right now, Gabrielle.

1073
01:06:46.780 --> 01:06:53.820
Like he wants you to know that nothing can take you from his love and his protection

1074
01:06:53.820 --> 01:06:58.100
is a part of his promise that comes through the love.

1075
01:06:58.100 --> 01:07:03.900
And so if you make a mistake, and I thought of this earlier today.

1076
01:07:03.900 --> 01:07:08.500
So it's interesting that you said that someone else in the, in the group posted something

1077
01:07:08.500 --> 01:07:12.420
and they were saying how afraid they are to make a mistake, you know, because they just

1078
01:07:12.420 --> 01:07:14.480
want to get it right.

1079
01:07:14.480 --> 01:07:20.000
And I was thinking in regards to this person this afternoon, I remember somebody telling

1080
01:07:20.000 --> 01:07:24.680
me years ago, cause I re I remember being afraid to make decisions because I didn't

1081
01:07:24.680 --> 01:07:28.880
trust myself because I had made some not good choices in the past.

1082
01:07:28.880 --> 01:07:31.680
And I paid like, in a sense, I paid for it.

1083
01:07:31.680 --> 01:07:32.680
I had consequences.

1084
01:07:32.680 --> 01:07:37.840
There was, I ended up in an abusive marriage and there was just stuff.

1085
01:07:37.840 --> 01:07:46.360
And so somebody said to me once, is God not big enough to help you get back on track if

1086
01:07:46.360 --> 01:07:50.760
you make a mistake?

1087
01:07:50.760 --> 01:07:56.640
And I thought that was a really good question because I had to look back and see all the

1088
01:07:56.640 --> 01:08:03.880
ways God helped me all the time before leading up to that and the ways he was there for me

1089
01:08:03.880 --> 01:08:10.040
long before I ever even knew that he was and the things he was working together in

1090
01:08:10.040 --> 01:08:12.320
my life to provide for me.

1091
01:08:12.320 --> 01:08:18.640
And so I want to encourage you, um, a so important to stay in community, Gabrielle.

1092
01:08:18.640 --> 01:08:19.640
Okay.

1093
01:08:19.640 --> 01:08:25.479
So when you're making good, like making decisions, the Bible says that we should seek a multitude

1094
01:08:25.479 --> 01:08:28.660
of counselors and people that walk in wisdom.

1095
01:08:28.660 --> 01:08:36.580
So one of the PR like protections God has provided for you, I believe is this community.

1096
01:08:36.580 --> 01:08:42.060
And so for me, when I was going, you know, in my dating process and even some other things,

1097
01:08:42.060 --> 01:08:44.700
I was making decisions about my job and all that.

1098
01:08:44.700 --> 01:08:52.540
I shared that stuff in my community group regularly because I didn't want to make, um,

1099
01:08:52.540 --> 01:08:53.540
mistakes again.

1100
01:08:53.540 --> 01:08:59.500
And so like hearing from my sisters who could really give me another perspective was important.

1101
01:08:59.500 --> 01:09:05.660
Um, and as well as the coach and leaders, which was, you know, Jackie at that time primarily.

1102
01:09:05.660 --> 01:09:11.300
So I want to encourage you that this is bit, this community is here to love you and cheer

1103
01:09:11.300 --> 01:09:18.460
you on and, and help you in a sense so that you can maybe continue to keep stepping into

1104
01:09:18.460 --> 01:09:20.420
the healthy path.

1105
01:09:20.420 --> 01:09:21.420
Right.

1106
01:09:21.420 --> 01:09:23.779
So that's one thing that came up in my spirit.

1107
01:09:23.779 --> 01:09:29.740
The other thing is that God isn't going to remove his love from you, no matter what,

1108
01:09:29.740 --> 01:09:34.540
when you said about, uh, I forget exactly how you said it, but it was about doing things.

1109
01:09:34.540 --> 01:09:38.740
And then if you're not doing something a certain way, then you beat yourself up.

1110
01:09:38.740 --> 01:09:44.260
And again, you all, I'm not trying to beat a dead horse, but it's when we think like

1111
01:09:44.260 --> 01:09:49.899
that, when we have thoughts like that, it's because we don't understand who God is.

1112
01:09:49.899 --> 01:09:57.540
God isn't, you know, God isn't one that beats people up or beats them over the head if they

1113
01:09:57.540 --> 01:09:58.620
do something wrong.

1114
01:09:58.620 --> 01:10:00.020
So then why do we do?

1115
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.040
that. It says, love your neighbor as you love yourself.

1116
01:10:03.040 --> 01:10:05.760
Well, if we don't love ourselves, well, a lot of times

1117
01:10:05.760 --> 01:10:08.640
that has to do with the fact that we don't know God's love in

1118
01:10:08.640 --> 01:10:12.800
that way. And so then we also struggle to extend it the same

1119
01:10:12.800 --> 01:10:14.840
way to other people. Does that make sense?

1120
01:10:18.000 --> 01:10:20.920
Yes, it makes sense. And I, I wrestle with that all the time,

1121
01:10:20.920 --> 01:10:25.240
because being in, that was all I knew for so long, like 20 years,

1122
01:10:25.280 --> 01:10:28.960
I still have that voice in my head of condemnation. And if I

1123
01:10:28.960 --> 01:10:32.040
make one mistake, I'm going to have, I'm going to pay for it.

1124
01:10:32.040 --> 01:10:33.160
And yeah,

1125
01:10:33.280 --> 01:10:37.080
and it takes time. I know it. I know that it can be tough to

1126
01:10:37.080 --> 01:10:41.400
feel like kind of like what Don was saying. And I mean, I gave

1127
01:10:41.400 --> 01:10:45.160
my life to the Lord in 1998. So y'all, I've had some years to

1128
01:10:45.160 --> 01:10:49.520
work on this. And so just want to encourage you to keep going,

1129
01:10:49.560 --> 01:10:53.240
just keep going. You're, you're going in a good as far as like

1130
01:10:53.240 --> 01:10:56.440
coming here tonight, talking about it, come into the group,

1131
01:10:56.440 --> 01:10:58.960
tell us more, what is it that you're praying about that you're

1132
01:10:58.960 --> 01:11:02.560
worried you're going to make a mistake with? And, and y'all,

1133
01:11:02.680 --> 01:11:05.680
let me say this to you. I know it can be really tough if a

1134
01:11:05.680 --> 01:11:09.960
coach says something that that it feels offensive, or feels

1135
01:11:09.960 --> 01:11:14.080
uncomfortable. But y'all, we're saying it with love. We're

1136
01:11:14.080 --> 01:11:17.640
saying it because we want God's best for you. We want you to

1137
01:11:17.640 --> 01:11:20.720
walk into the fullness of God's plan for you in a healthy

1138
01:11:20.720 --> 01:11:24.440
relationship in a healthy environment. And so just please,

1139
01:11:24.440 --> 01:11:27.840
as you receive information, remember that our hearts, we

1140
01:11:27.840 --> 01:11:30.600
have all these filters and blind spots and things from the

1141
01:11:30.600 --> 01:11:34.000
brokenness. And we still receive information through that not

1142
01:11:34.000 --> 01:11:36.360
that Gabriella did, but I just that came up in my spirit. So I

1143
01:11:36.360 --> 01:11:39.840
felt led to mention that as well. So we're going to be

1144
01:11:39.840 --> 01:11:43.200
cheering you on come in the group and tell us a little bit

1145
01:11:43.200 --> 01:11:46.000
more kind of what you're trying to navigate and let us let us

1146
01:11:46.000 --> 01:11:48.640
meet you and walk alongside of you in that. Okay.

1147
01:11:48.960 --> 01:11:52.960
Okay, thank you. And that also ties into the second main thing

1148
01:11:52.960 --> 01:11:55.600
like it's too much like I don't want to burden people because

1149
01:11:55.600 --> 01:12:00.360
it's my life is so messy. And I feel like it's just too much.

1150
01:12:00.680 --> 01:12:04.560
And especially dating someone, I feel like it's too much for

1151
01:12:04.560 --> 01:12:07.560
them to deal with too. And like a never ending custody battle

1152
01:12:07.560 --> 01:12:11.480
and financial strain because of that, and just makes me feel

1153
01:12:11.480 --> 01:12:12.080
like giving up.

1154
01:12:12.840 --> 01:12:16.080
Yeah, and I mean, I get it. I used to think my story was

1155
01:12:16.080 --> 01:12:18.600
too much for people to and now I talk about it all the time,

1156
01:12:18.600 --> 01:12:21.680
y'all. Like I feel like on her. I mean, I talk about it all the

1157
01:12:21.680 --> 01:12:25.000
time and hard work. And but I can remember feeling that way

1158
01:12:25.000 --> 01:12:27.720
even when I met Brian, because he came from a very different

1159
01:12:27.720 --> 01:12:32.120
background than I did. He had, like really great parents. And

1160
01:12:32.120 --> 01:12:34.600
hardly, I mean, they had stuff they went through, but he

1161
01:12:34.600 --> 01:12:37.440
didn't have the toxic environment I grew up in and

1162
01:12:37.480 --> 01:12:40.520
all of that. But here's the other thing that's important for

1163
01:12:40.520 --> 01:12:44.520
everybody to hear. Y'all God's shoulders are broad. And I

1164
01:12:44.520 --> 01:12:47.880
know God's shoulders are broad, and they're big, and he's

1165
01:12:47.880 --> 01:12:51.840
mighty, and he can handle anything. And guess what he

1166
01:12:51.840 --> 01:12:55.480
equips his saints, his his sons and daughters with the ability

1167
01:12:55.480 --> 01:13:00.120
and the grace to also, it says in the Bible, bear with one

1168
01:13:00.120 --> 01:13:03.080
another's burdens with this, like having compassion with

1169
01:13:03.080 --> 01:13:06.320
others with the same, you know, I forget exactly how it says it.

1170
01:13:06.320 --> 01:13:09.680
But basically, I'm able to do for others because what God has

1171
01:13:09.680 --> 01:13:15.160
done for me, right. So at some point, I had a lot of people

1172
01:13:15.160 --> 01:13:19.640
that walked in my life with me. And I had to start believing

1173
01:13:19.680 --> 01:13:25.640
that I wasn't too much. I'm just right, y'all. You're just right.

1174
01:13:26.400 --> 01:13:29.120
I know these are these might be little things that I'm saying,

1175
01:13:29.120 --> 01:13:32.480
but I hope it really goes into the core of some of what you

1176
01:13:32.480 --> 01:13:34.800
all are believing about yourselves. You're just right.

1177
01:13:35.840 --> 01:13:38.840
God didn't make a mistake. God didn't mess up. And even now

1178
01:13:38.840 --> 01:13:41.480
God's rewriting your whole story, Gabriella, and for

1179
01:13:41.480 --> 01:13:46.080
everybody else, he's rewriting, and rebuilding and restoring,

1180
01:13:46.360 --> 01:13:50.120
and just keep putting a foot the next foot in front of the other

1181
01:13:50.120 --> 01:13:55.120
and just keep keep walking. Okay. Y'all, y'all can do this.

1182
01:13:55.120 --> 01:13:59.360
You've got this. God's got you and you've got this. All right,

1183
01:13:59.560 --> 01:14:00.600
Emily, go ahead.

1184
01:14:00.880 --> 01:14:04.800
Wait, wait, wait. Oh, yeah. Hunter Hunter. Thank you. Go

1185
01:14:04.800 --> 01:14:10.840
ahead. Well, you see, I just turned 36 this September. But

1186
01:14:10.880 --> 01:14:15.360
of course, I have pros and cons. The problem is, I'm, I'm still

1187
01:14:15.360 --> 01:14:18.440
not married. I still have no kids. And I have this feeling

1188
01:14:18.480 --> 01:14:21.720
and I have to deal with this rat race. I started out when I

1189
01:14:21.720 --> 01:14:25.360
graduated high school with the tension of living life at the

1190
01:14:25.360 --> 01:14:29.960
fullest. And I did I could and every time I don't have my

1191
01:14:29.960 --> 01:14:32.120
spirit made, the more I feel like I'm not living at its

1192
01:14:32.120 --> 01:14:35.280
fullest. And the more I started getting a fit of rage thinking,

1193
01:14:35.560 --> 01:14:39.120
oh, there's someone out there. Oh, she won't be faithful. Or

1194
01:14:39.120 --> 01:14:42.400
maybe she's not queuing up. Oh, she's too inferior. I can do

1195
01:14:42.400 --> 01:14:45.080
better stuff than that. I can do better stuff than her. I was

1196
01:14:45.080 --> 01:14:49.360
already doing my marriage. But as I get older, if God's will is

1197
01:14:49.360 --> 01:14:53.680
that I have to wait. But yeah, he's figured that if I wait only

1198
01:14:53.680 --> 01:14:57.880
till late 40s or 50s, I'm gonna end up devaluing it because I'm

1199
01:14:57.880 --> 01:15:00.080
framing I enjoy the marriage

1200
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.520
at the fullest. So I think I won't be able to enjoy it at

1201
01:15:03.520 --> 01:15:07.440
the fullest, thinking that they all be too brief, it'll be too

1202
01:15:07.440 --> 01:15:09.960
late, we won't be able to have kids, we won't be able to do

1203
01:15:09.960 --> 01:15:11.840
stuff what married couples would do.

1204
01:15:12.640 --> 01:15:19.720
Okay, so I'm gonna have you go back to the I'm still not

1205
01:15:19.720 --> 01:15:22.280
married, no kids running a rat race. So you're just feeling

1206
01:15:22.280 --> 01:15:24.660
like you're not enough by yourself, which goes right back

1207
01:15:24.660 --> 01:15:27.680
to identity that I was talking about earlier, you all that I

1208
01:15:27.680 --> 01:15:31.760
mean, that's like a huge example right there. But Hunter, I hear

1209
01:15:31.760 --> 01:15:34.320
what you're saying. And I just want you to know that we're

1210
01:15:34.320 --> 01:15:37.120
going to be praying for you about all of that. One of the

1211
01:15:37.120 --> 01:15:41.240
other things that came to mind as you were sharing is that even

1212
01:15:41.240 --> 01:15:45.040
men, you know, you all have to really decide what is truth.

1213
01:15:45.040 --> 01:15:47.760
What do you believe? Like, what is the report of the Lord over

1214
01:15:47.760 --> 01:15:51.320
your life? Like, I hear you saying, and we all battle these

1215
01:15:51.320 --> 01:15:55.120
lies that the enemy is saying to us, but what report are we going

1216
01:15:55.120 --> 01:15:58.680
to believe? Are we going to believe what God is saying? And

1217
01:15:58.840 --> 01:16:03.960
when you were talking about the fullness of if you know, when

1218
01:16:04.000 --> 01:16:06.760
God and brings you and your spirit mate together, depending

1219
01:16:06.760 --> 01:16:10.880
on what that age is, but you use the age of 40. If it doesn't

1220
01:16:10.880 --> 01:16:13.760
happen until I'm 40, then I'm going to miss out and it's not

1221
01:16:13.760 --> 01:16:16.480
going to feel full is what you said.

1222
01:16:17.000 --> 01:16:20.520
Yes, it's basically some thinking about that if we don't

1223
01:16:20.520 --> 01:16:23.720
if it doesn't happen, we're gonna have to I might have to go

1224
01:16:23.760 --> 01:16:27.480
take drastic measures, we're going to go back in. And we got

1225
01:16:27.480 --> 01:16:30.400
a knuckle back in time and go back to my way I was born and

1226
01:16:30.400 --> 01:16:33.280
raised in Ohio. And I live I may live in New York, but I was born

1227
01:16:33.280 --> 01:16:35.680
and raised in Ohio, we're gonna go all the way back to Ohio and

1228
01:16:35.880 --> 01:16:39.080
trace my footsteps. And we're gonna enjoy stuff. Well, during

1229
01:16:39.080 --> 01:16:41.680
those years, because I was, because while I'm waiting, I'm

1230
01:16:41.680 --> 01:16:44.720
just doing stuff that involves finding personal happiness

1231
01:16:44.760 --> 01:16:47.640
outside contribute something that involves contributing to my

1232
01:16:47.640 --> 01:16:50.400
own happiness. So we're gonna go back in time. And we're gonna

1233
01:16:50.400 --> 01:16:52.840
do all the things I used to do with me.

1234
01:16:53.120 --> 01:16:57.520
Well, so here's the key. You don't have to go back in time.

1235
01:16:57.800 --> 01:17:00.080
Because guess what, you're writing a new story when you

1236
01:17:00.080 --> 01:17:02.000
meet your spirit mate, and you're writing a story with

1237
01:17:02.000 --> 01:17:07.120
them. And you get to start right then. And I can tell you that

1238
01:17:07.120 --> 01:17:11.400
just from even Brian and I like the story in the life that I

1239
01:17:11.400 --> 01:17:16.720
live and I'm, I'm almost 10 years older than you Hunter is

1240
01:17:16.720 --> 01:17:20.600
way better than anything I could have ever thought. And I

1241
01:17:20.600 --> 01:17:25.120
definitely do not feel like my life is not full. My life is so

1242
01:17:25.120 --> 01:17:29.120
full. And we are going on adventures together. And we're

1243
01:17:29.120 --> 01:17:33.360
having fun. And I, I've literally never had the thought

1244
01:17:33.360 --> 01:17:37.960
that I need to take him back into my prior life, and show him

1245
01:17:37.960 --> 01:17:42.040
all those things because I am who I am now. I want him to know

1246
01:17:42.040 --> 01:17:46.480
me now. And I can tell him about some of those things. I can say,

1247
01:17:46.480 --> 01:17:50.160
Hey, I used to, I used to love doing this, or this is how the

1248
01:17:50.160 --> 01:17:53.920
service used to be at my church. But we all have that, like, even

1249
01:17:53.920 --> 01:17:57.040
if you meet a friend, like a bro, and you're hanging out with

1250
01:17:57.040 --> 01:18:00.000
him, are you going to take him back on that journey with you

1251
01:18:00.040 --> 01:18:03.600
all those years? No, you're not, you're going to start right now.

1252
01:18:04.360 --> 01:18:07.160
So that's all you have to do, even when you meet the person

1253
01:18:07.160 --> 01:18:10.840
that God's going to bring to you. You just all of us, we

1254
01:18:10.840 --> 01:18:15.440
start now. We don't have to rewrite all that God's doing all

1255
01:18:15.440 --> 01:18:18.040
that. He's redeeming the timeline, he's rewriting the

1256
01:18:18.040 --> 01:18:20.720
story. And he's going to help you have a lot of fun. If you

1257
01:18:20.720 --> 01:18:24.480
partner with that truth, you can have an incredible time and a

1258
01:18:24.480 --> 01:18:29.360
very, very full relationship in life, no matter what. There's

1259
01:18:29.360 --> 01:18:32.720
people in our community, y'all meeting in their 70s getting

1260
01:18:32.720 --> 01:18:35.880
married. And I can tell you what, they're having a full life

1261
01:18:35.920 --> 01:18:38.720
and they're having a great time. And they're not thinking about

1262
01:18:38.720 --> 01:18:42.680
all the stuff they missed out on before. So it's it's what we

1263
01:18:42.680 --> 01:18:47.280
partner with in our minds. It truly is. The battlefield is

1264
01:18:47.280 --> 01:18:51.800
truly up here. Hunter, I'm so glad you share because I think a

1265
01:18:51.800 --> 01:18:54.240
lot of people struggle with this in a lot of different ways. So I

1266
01:18:54.240 --> 01:18:57.880
appreciate you being honest and sharing that with us tonight.

1267
01:18:58.200 --> 01:19:01.360
Well, of course, can I say that I was glad I was brought with

1268
01:19:01.360 --> 01:19:05.200
that because there is a grain of truth to that. Because when I

1269
01:19:05.200 --> 01:19:09.120
was in school, I used to fall behind get in trouble. But then

1270
01:19:09.120 --> 01:19:12.440
I started excelling and well, and then early in high school,

1271
01:19:12.440 --> 01:19:15.840
and then I started excelling in high school. And then my mom was

1272
01:19:15.840 --> 01:19:18.520
trying to get a you know, they were all pressuring when you're

1273
01:19:18.560 --> 01:19:21.320
at high school, they graduating, they pressure you on what you're

1274
01:19:21.320 --> 01:19:23.640
gonna do what you're gonna do, basically try and get your

1275
01:19:23.640 --> 01:19:28.480
future. And my mom and I want to be cool because I don't want to

1276
01:19:28.480 --> 01:19:32.440
say my mom to look at me Sam Sam home playing computer games and

1277
01:19:32.440 --> 01:19:35.600
playing World of Warcraft. So I have to make everything count.

1278
01:19:35.840 --> 01:19:39.000
They basically live in the moment like, like wrestling,

1279
01:19:39.000 --> 01:19:42.240
like or they get this good grade or something, that sort of

1280
01:19:42.240 --> 01:19:45.360
thing. So I started developing that mentality. And of course,

1281
01:19:45.360 --> 01:19:48.600
it did help with a lot of things like that got me I got to be

1282
01:19:48.600 --> 01:19:52.400
out. And it was a time place for vegans, but I had to sell get a

1283
01:19:52.400 --> 01:19:56.560
job even move out of the house at 24. Or get involved in

1284
01:19:56.560 --> 01:19:59.160
ministry except fell behind because I did go to church, but

1285
01:19:59.160 --> 01:19:59.960
I didn't know why the heck

1286
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.640
I was there, I didn't get into the word or so. And then I

1287
01:20:04.640 --> 01:20:09.240
wanted to get make the most of it and grab it. Absorb all the

1288
01:20:09.240 --> 01:20:11.040
biblical knowledge, I can get my hands on

1289
01:20:11.880 --> 01:20:14.580
assignment for you. I hear what you're saying. I have an

1290
01:20:14.580 --> 01:20:16.960
assignment for you and anybody else that understands where he's

1291
01:20:16.960 --> 01:20:20.800
going with this. Make a bucket list of what you want to do

1292
01:20:20.800 --> 01:20:25.400
with your spirit mate. When you are together, a bucket list is a

1293
01:20:25.400 --> 01:20:29.080
list of ideas of things you cannot wait to go do with them.

1294
01:20:29.280 --> 01:20:31.840
You know, I did that before I met Brian. I'm so glad I did

1295
01:20:31.840 --> 01:20:35.620
because we've actually done some of the things on that list. So

1296
01:20:35.620 --> 01:20:39.160
yes, of course, I think when we when we have the thoughts that

1297
01:20:39.160 --> 01:20:41.640
we want to live our life to the full, and we don't want to miss

1298
01:20:41.640 --> 01:20:44.740
out on anything, I do think it does propel us to make good

1299
01:20:44.740 --> 01:20:48.240
choices and invest in ourself. So I'm definitely in agreement

1300
01:20:48.240 --> 01:20:53.560
with you there. But I also don't think we need to feel like we're

1301
01:20:53.560 --> 01:20:57.560
not going to have enough if we wait for God to bring that

1302
01:20:57.560 --> 01:21:01.520
person to us. So thank you so much for sharing. I'm going to

1303
01:21:01.560 --> 01:21:05.120
I'm going to have Emily share now. Okay. All right. We'll

1304
01:21:05.120 --> 01:21:08.800
share later. All right. Bye. Emily, go ahead.

1305
01:21:09.600 --> 01:21:16.040
Yes. Hi, Bethany. Um, I know. It hit me last weekend. Actually,

1306
01:21:17.040 --> 01:21:20.920
I went I was hanging out. I've got this good friend and she's

1307
01:21:21.040 --> 01:21:25.080
been in a relationship with this guy for a year now. She's not

1308
01:21:25.080 --> 01:21:28.320
Christian. Really? They think neither of them are. They don't

1309
01:21:28.320 --> 01:21:32.080
live Christian lifestyle. And he hasn't treated her the best way.

1310
01:21:32.240 --> 01:21:37.640
So is this okay? Is this hard work about yours? Because I'm

1311
01:21:37.640 --> 01:21:45.560
dealing with stuff that's coming up. Okay. Yeah, she basically

1312
01:21:45.600 --> 01:21:51.480
wants me to be happy for her in this relationship. And I'm

1313
01:21:51.480 --> 01:21:57.560
struggling. I've been struggling with jealousy. And

1314
01:21:57.720 --> 01:22:02.200
not sure, you know, why these feelings of, I can't be happy

1315
01:22:02.200 --> 01:22:08.840
for her. And I know it's a lot to do with me internally. And

1316
01:22:08.840 --> 01:22:12.600
I've been praying about it. And part of that that I listened to

1317
01:22:12.600 --> 01:22:16.760
the Supernatural Saturday from last weekend as well. And that

1318
01:22:16.760 --> 01:22:18.920
really talked to me and made me realize that I'm the one on the

1319
01:22:18.920 --> 01:22:25.440
beach, criticizing everyone, instead of going out. Because I

1320
01:22:25.440 --> 01:22:29.320
haven't really been dating. I'm trying to get back out there

1321
01:22:29.320 --> 01:22:34.800
now. But, you know, so I struggle with jealousy for a

1322
01:22:34.800 --> 01:22:40.080
while. So I'm trying to like figure out how to get out of

1323
01:22:40.080 --> 01:22:40.240
it.

1324
01:22:40.800 --> 01:22:43.960
I appreciate you sharing that with us. At first, the reason I

1325
01:22:43.960 --> 01:22:46.840
was trying to jump in is because we have to be careful. Like I

1326
01:22:46.840 --> 01:22:49.040
wanted you to share, but we also have to be careful that we

1327
01:22:49.040 --> 01:22:52.120
don't say things that could be slanderous towards someone that's

1328
01:22:52.120 --> 01:22:54.920
not here. So that's where we have to kind of toe that line

1329
01:22:54.920 --> 01:22:58.960
really carefully. But I'm glad that you shared what you did. And

1330
01:22:59.720 --> 01:23:03.400
I my question actually isn't about the jealousy. We'll go

1331
01:23:03.400 --> 01:23:06.720
there in a minute. But my first question for you is, you know,

1332
01:23:06.720 --> 01:23:09.320
you said you really resonated with being the one on the beach

1333
01:23:09.320 --> 01:23:12.680
criticizing everyone. So when is the first time you remember,

1334
01:23:12.960 --> 01:23:17.440
just feeling really critical of someone that, like in your life

1335
01:23:17.440 --> 01:23:20.320
that you felt like they got something that you wanted, and

1336
01:23:20.320 --> 01:23:22.880
you felt like you were critical of them?

1337
01:23:24.440 --> 01:23:26.880
Probably that friend I was referring to.

1338
01:23:27.680 --> 01:23:30.480
Hey, when? When was the first time?

1339
01:23:32.760 --> 01:23:38.680
Probably when she got married the first time. And of course,

1340
01:23:38.840 --> 01:23:43.400
not married. But because I it's, it seemed like everyone was

1341
01:23:43.400 --> 01:23:48.120
getting what I wanted. And like you and my brother, my brother

1342
01:23:48.120 --> 01:23:52.360
got married when he's younger than me, and has two kids now.

1343
01:23:52.360 --> 01:23:54.520
So and

1344
01:23:55.600 --> 01:23:58.800
so at the core, is it that you don't believe God cares about

1345
01:23:58.800 --> 01:23:59.120
you?

1346
01:24:00.760 --> 01:24:06.080
I think it used to be like that. I'm getting better. Feeling you

1347
01:24:06.080 --> 01:24:09.640
know, feeling that I my relationship with the Lord has

1348
01:24:09.640 --> 01:24:13.160
grown a lot, especially when joining this program.

1349
01:24:13.400 --> 01:24:19.520
Yeah. But okay, and I believe you. But I just did this

1350
01:24:19.520 --> 01:24:22.880
session this past Monday with the heartwork group about God's

1351
01:24:22.880 --> 01:24:26.280
care. And a lot of times we we will grow in our understanding

1352
01:24:26.280 --> 01:24:31.440
of God's care for us. But we will still struggle at the core.

1353
01:24:32.040 --> 01:24:35.640
If we have any kind of abandonment or neglect when we

1354
01:24:35.640 --> 01:24:41.960
were kids. And in those times, if we partnered with that God

1355
01:24:41.960 --> 01:24:48.560
cares about other people more than me, then that will show up

1356
01:24:48.560 --> 01:24:52.520
in other relationships that are in our life. And this friend

1357
01:24:52.560 --> 01:24:55.760
seems to be one of those relationships where he's showing

1358
01:24:55.760 --> 01:24:59.680
up the job. And the jealousy, you know, you all that tends to

1359
01:24:59.680 --> 01:24:59.880
be

1360
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:15.000
Rooted in like hatred and self-hatred and all kinds of stuff, which goes back into wounds of like not believing that you're cared about and sadness and resentment. I mean, it's all kind of all kinds of stuff balled up in there.

1361
01:25:15.000 --> 01:25:32.000
So, I would just encourage you to ask the Lord to show you like if there are any areas where you don't really fully, I'm not saying you don't believe it at all but like fully believe that he cares about you, just as much as he cares about someone

1362
01:25:32.000 --> 01:25:42.000
else. Yeah, like, like I just heard in my spirit like second best. So do you believe your second best.

1363
01:25:42.000 --> 01:25:45.000
Probably yeah that's.

1364
01:25:45.000 --> 01:25:46.000
Yeah.

1365
01:25:46.000 --> 01:26:03.000
Okay, so if that is true, if that is something you partnered with at some point when you were a kid. You have to come out of agreement with that, because that isn't true because God can take you and take you to the front of the line just like you can do that for anybody

1366
01:26:03.000 --> 01:26:06.000
else in this room tonight.

1367
01:26:07.000 --> 01:26:12.000
But guess what, God can take everybody to the front of the line at the same time.

1368
01:26:12.000 --> 01:26:15.000
Truth.

1369
01:26:15.000 --> 01:26:27.000
Because God is able to help all of you all get to where he wants to take you, but he wants you to get there, healthy and whole.

1370
01:26:28.000 --> 01:26:47.000
I feel like the underlying stuff with the jealousy, with this same friend. When you said that about her getting married the first time I heard the word resentment so the Bible talks about not having a bitter root.

1371
01:26:47.000 --> 01:27:00.000
And that I feel like goes together with the resentment for you because when we have resentments that are unresolved and those remain unhealed, that's where it can turn into the bitter root.

1372
01:27:00.000 --> 01:27:16.000
Okay, so pray into those a little bit, you know, forgiving her first for whatever you might need to get that forgiveness prayer sheet out and work through some forgiveness forgive yourself for some stuff if that comes up.

1373
01:27:17.000 --> 01:27:25.000
Okay, so I'm going to talk a little bit about how we can help each other.

1374
01:27:25.000 --> 01:27:37.000
So, you know, maybe parents if they tended to put your siblings before you in situations, you know, some parents will actually say, like my mom on social media told everybody who her favorite kid was.

1375
01:27:37.000 --> 01:27:40.000
This was before she died.

1376
01:27:40.000 --> 01:27:42.000
Yeah, you all guess what?

1377
01:27:42.000 --> 01:27:45.000
It wasn't me.

1378
01:27:45.000 --> 01:27:57.000
It was other parents, you know, that are not healthy my mom, you know, just really operated in a lot of unhealthy stuff like that a lot of manipulation and control.

1379
01:27:57.000 --> 01:28:08.000
And she was mad at me because I confronted her behind the scenes. I don't do stuff on social media. I'm not going to confront people out in the open like that I like to do it the way it should happen.

1380
01:28:09.000 --> 01:28:27.000
And I was talking to her trying to talk through something and she didn't like it and so she went to social media. And so I'm using that as an example because I've, I've had to forgive my mom for that, you know, for putting my siblings before me and a lot of situations.

1381
01:28:27.000 --> 01:28:32.000
And God has shown me a lot he's given me a lot of compassion for my mom.

1382
01:28:33.000 --> 01:28:38.000
And I'm not going to excuse those things, but I have understanding into why she did it.

1383
01:28:38.000 --> 01:28:51.000
So I want to encourage you all we're at 929 you I can't believe this hour and a half went so fast. I know I have hands still up. I'm so sorry. I wish I could get to everybody. Sometimes it just takes time, I would love for you all to go ahead and put in your groups.

1384
01:28:52.000 --> 01:29:08.000
And I will come and I can coach you there because I care about what you're going to say and I want you to feel seen, known and heard as well. And if you will do that I will definitely keep an eye out tonight and tomorrow for those posts in the groups.

1385
01:29:08.000 --> 01:29:16.000
I hope this was a blessing to all hope you got some freedom. God is so good you all soak in the goodness of God.

1386
01:29:16.000 --> 01:29:28.000
Also, for those that do struggle with believing that God cares about you I posted this for my heart work groups this week Psalm 145 has several verses a talk about God's care for us.

1387
01:29:28.000 --> 01:29:38.000
So, check that out. And let me pray for us father. Thank you so much that you, man, you're just so good.

1388
01:29:39.000 --> 01:29:45.000
Your mercy is new every morning I thank you that even tonight. As we go to sleep.

1389
01:29:45.000 --> 01:29:53.000
God that you would help us to hear what your spirit is saying about us to us for us for our futures.

1390
01:29:53.000 --> 01:30:00.000
You say yes to us Lord you say blessing you say life you say the word live over us.

1391
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:02.720
Even while we sleep, God, we thank you that you would give us

1392
01:30:02.720 --> 01:30:06.360
Salem rest, that you would protect us from every attack of

1393
01:30:06.360 --> 01:30:10.560
the enemy. We thank you that you had just about. And we thank you

1394
01:30:10.560 --> 01:30:13.720
God that we don't have to fear, we don't have to be afraid. God

1395
01:30:13.720 --> 01:30:15.880
help us to grow in the understanding of your love for

1396
01:30:15.880 --> 01:30:20.480
us, that we would become rooted firmly fixed and rooted in the

1397
01:30:20.480 --> 01:30:23.880
understanding of who you are as love, who you are as faithful,

1398
01:30:23.880 --> 01:30:28.960
who you are as kind, who you are as good, who you are as joy. And

1399
01:30:28.960 --> 01:30:32.840
that we would grow and just see your glory manifested in our

1400
01:30:32.840 --> 01:30:35.920
life more and more and more every day. We just thank you in

1401
01:30:35.920 --> 01:30:38.160
advance for everything that you've done everything you are

1402
01:30:38.160 --> 01:30:42.200
going to do in the days ahead in Jesus name. Amen. God bless you

1403
01:30:42.200 --> 01:30:45.360
all. Have a good night, everyone. Bye