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All right. Welcome, ladies. Today is, what, Tuesday, September 17th. This is your live

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check-in call here in Phase 2. I am Carla Johnson. I am one of your coaches in Phase

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2. So, welcome. I was just telling Nicole here, I've been in this program. Bethany and

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I actually walked through this program together with Jackie a couple of years ago. And so,

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I am a success story. I am now married to my husband. We just celebrated one year here

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a couple of weeks ago. We went to Napa Valley for our anniversary trip. So, welcome. I've

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been where you've been. I've walked through that season. And I've, you know, listened

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to Jackie numerous and countless times. And she always, she has a way. God really, really

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uses her as an amazing vessel. So, I'm excited to be here with y'all today and, you know,

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just pour into you and give back to you all what, you know, people were able to do for

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me. So, is there anybody that is on the call right now? I know we still got some more people

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popping in. That is, this is their first week in Phase 2. Go ahead and raise your avatar hand

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if you can't be on camera. And ladies, if you can be on camera, we just want to get into good

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practice and start coming out of hiding and go ahead and get on video. It's just us ladies. So,

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if, you know, you still are in pajamas or your hair and makeup's not done, it's totally fine.

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But I also know some of you are at work too. So, I understand. But if you can, go ahead and come

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on camera. Let's see your beautiful face. So, Blessie, you are new to Phase 2. Welcome. So,

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what I'm going to do is I'm going to go ahead and go over some housekeeping items. If you've

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been with us before, many of these you have already heard that we always put, we always do

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these recordings and we post them. So, we go through them because someone who's watching in

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replay may need to hear those housekeeping items. So, I'm going to go ahead. I'm trying to get

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better with my timing. So, I'm going to go ahead and set a timer to kind of keep me on track

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because I want to always make time for you all to share at the end. So, all right, housekeeping

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items. So, reminder that in Phase 2, you have five videos in your content. We ask that you watch

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one video per week. There's a reason for that is because there's so much good information.

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We really do want you to be able to sit with that and process it, journal, pray, ask the Lord to

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reveal any highlighted things that he wants to show you for you to be working on throughout the

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week, okay? So, just be watching one a week, okay? I know it's easy for us to want to watch them all and

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that's fine, but make sure you go back and you really are processing one video per week and you're

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putting things into practice that you're learning in that video, okay? So, then once you've done that,

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it's your opportunity to come into the app and share with us what you received, what

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ahas did you have through that video. So, make sure that you're coming and you're sharing with us

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the process of Phase 2, okay? It's super, super important, you know, let us know your current

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situation, all those kinds of things, what you're processing. It's a way for you to really glean

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what this program has to offer, okay? And again, I am a success story from this program. I have

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gone through this program. I have worked the program. I totally can attest to utilizing the teaching

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and putting it into practice, okay? It doesn't mean that it's not going to be hard, okay?

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Like Jackie said, it doesn't have to be easy. It just has to be worth it, but I can only tell you

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that when you put it into process, it really, truly, truly, you'll come out with some amazing

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breakthroughs and you'll be in awe of what God can do, okay? So, if you are coming out of Phase 1

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for the first time, you're now cleared to date, right? So, we put you on that sabbatical, that

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dating sabbatical. We wanted you really just to focus on heartwork in Phase 1, but now you're in

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Phase 2. So, yes, you are allowed to date. So, we've even given you a seven-date challenge,

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and I know for a lot of you, because it was like this for me, you got a little freaked out by

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seven dates. Like, oh my goodness, how

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How am I gonna do this?

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Don't sweat it, okay?

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You're not gonna have to finish your seven dates

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in order to move on to phase three, okay?

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Y'all are gonna be on your own pace, your own journey.

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What I encourage you to do

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is not play the comparison game, all right?

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God is working a good work in you,

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so that's what you need to focus on.

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Not all the other things, okay?

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We can partner with each other,

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we can cheer each other on, we can encourage each other,

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we can learn from one another,

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but don't start putting yourself into the comparison, okay?

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Again, I reiterate, come to phase two

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and post about all the things, okay?

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This can be hard work things,

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because believe it or not,

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hard work doesn't just go away

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just because you're out of phase one.

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Hard work is a continued process, okay?

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And dating is going to peel that next layer of that onion

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and can really unfold some other healings and revealings

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that will take place as you step into those scenarios, okay?

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So post about hard work things,

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post about your dating situations and scenarios,

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what you're learning and applying on those videos,

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any breakthroughs that you're having,

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and celebrations, like we wanna hear about that.

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If you have questions about any of the content

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or something that you're going through

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and you're not sure how to navigate,

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because remember, you've learned new information,

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so you're gonna do things differently this time, okay?

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I can attest I did things all wrong before this program.

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I can even attest and share with you

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that I did some things that were not right

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even in this program,

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but I came and I brought it to the group,

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I was vulnerable, I shared, I opened up about it,

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I didn't hide in shame, I didn't put a lot of guilt, okay?

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I didn't stay there,

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there might've been times that I had that,

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I didn't stay there,

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but I came and I was vulnerable in the group

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and God was able to show up, okay?

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So please, please, please make sure

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that you are coming and posting all those things.

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When you are posting,

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now that we've moved everything into the app,

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please be mindful that you're clicking on the correct tab

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when you're posting in the app.

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So especially in the Ask a Coach tab,

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this is super important

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because that's where we really wanna make sure

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that we are answering your questions as quickly as possible.

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And because of that,

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we're asking that any of you ladies,

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like we want y'all encouraging one another

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and commenting on what y'all are posting,

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we just ask that in the Ask a Coach tab

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that you leave that only for coaches to respond, okay?

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If there's wins in the win category and wins post

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or relationship milestones,

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or even in that all category,

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you may go ahead and respond in those,

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but make sure that you leave the Ask a Coach questions

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to just the coaches, okay?

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When you're posting in the group,

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we ask that you don't link or promote

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any other authors or speakers or influencers

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or pastors or websites or anything like that.

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We just can't,

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we can't do all of that.

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And we really wanna make sure

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that what y'all are receiving in this app

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and in this program aligns with what we're teaching.

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So sometimes I know there's some really great sermons

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out there, especially on singleness and things like that.

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But I've also seen some sermons out there

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that teach on singleness that don't align

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with some of the things that we teach, okay?

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So we just wanna make sure that we're doing that.

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So please, please, please don't attach any of those links

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in your comments, okay?

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I know there's been a couple of you

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that have made videos in the app.

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I'm an external processor, so I totally get it.

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Sometimes you just have to talk it out.

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It's a lot easier just to verbalize it and not type it.

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If you do that, we really, really ask that you consider

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to keep those videos under three minutes, okay?

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I know sometimes that gets hard.

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I struggled with that.

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That's why I have a timer right now,

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so that I stay on topic.

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The best way to do that is really just to jot down notes

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and to keep yourself accountable, okay?

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When you are, see, look, there goes my timer

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and I'm still not done.

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So I gave myself a few minutes

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because I knew I'd possibly go over.

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Engage with one another, connect with one another.

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So again, do this on post, just don't comment

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on any of those ask the coach posts.

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When you're responding, make sure

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that you're being encouraging and positive.

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Really refrain from giving advice

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and coaching other people.

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It's really important.

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This is your all's phase to really receive, okay?

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I know some of us that have a teaching gift

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and a counseling gift.

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gift and advice-giving gift.

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It's really easy for us to want to pour that

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into other people, but we really want you to be

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in this posture of receiving, especially in a phase two.

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So really, if you struggle with, you know,

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because you're a teacher or you're a counselor,

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just really, really encourage yourself not to do that, okay?

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Come to as many live check-ins as you can, okay?

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During that four and five weeks that you're here with us

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in phase two, listen, ladies, it's a short season,

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and again, it's designed to give you that extra support.

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So utilize it to your benefit and get as much

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from it as you can.

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And last on our housekeeping list is navigating the app.

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Okay, I know a lot of you have been sharing

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that it gets a little bit, it's a bit of a struggle

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right now because sometimes the app shuts down.

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That happens for me too, and we are working

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with the developers to kind of get all those kinks out.

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One thing that I can tell you is that when I'm in the app

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and I am on my phone and I'm trying to respond to you,

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ladies, and then I'm sure it's happened to me,

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and I know it's happened to a couple of you,

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where you're in there and you're typing,

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and maybe you're responding to one of us coaches

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that have responded to you, and then all of a sudden

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the app shuts down and it just, your screen goes blank, okay?

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That happens to me.

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I totally get it.

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I know it gets frustrating.

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So the way that I've circumvented it

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and what's helped me the most is using my desktop,

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using my computer, okay?

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So I know we're on the go all the time

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and it's super nice to have our phones on hand

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to be able to do that.

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If you're out and about, just put it on pause

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and then come back and then respond on the desktop

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if you're noticing that.

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Sometimes it just helps to shut the app down

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and give your phone a rest and then go back into it later.

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But any of that stuff for navigating that app,

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there is a training tab in your app.

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I would strongly recommend that you click

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on the Tech Training app.

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And so it's a five minute video

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that really walks you through the app

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if you haven't already done so.

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Also, ladies, it's super important to be sure

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to check out that resource tab.

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So we've got the SpiritMate Match and the Affiliate Program.

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All of that info is in the resource tab.

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So please, please, please go check it out.

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Please do not email us about anything in that resource tab.

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Okay, so if you send us emails about the SpiritMate Match,

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the Affiliate Program, anything of that nature,

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we are not going to respond to you, okay?

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The only emails that we are replying to currently

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that we're asking you to email us about

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is when you've finished phase two content,

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you've gone through all the videos,

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you've been in the phase two for at least four to five weeks,

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you've come to some Tuesday Live calls,

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and you are ready to move over to phase three.

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When you are in phase three,

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that's how you get to phase three,

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is right now, currently, you have to email us

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to get to phase three, cool?

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All right, all right.

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So Sarah, that is a good question.

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So how long have you been in phase three?

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How long have you been in phase three now?

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All right, I'll just unmute, because it's easier.

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I've been in phase three,

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like I just found out that they moved me to phase three

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today, but I've been in phase two.

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Wow, yeah.

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Yeah, you're good to be here today.

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Ladies, it's really important for you to,

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once you get to phase three, stick with phase three, okay?

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Don't try to double dip here, okay?

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It's a smaller community, all right?

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So when you're transitioning from phase two to phase three,

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I know a couple of you ladies do wanna come

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to a check-in or two, maybe for a week, that's good.

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Once you get into phase three, leave phase two

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to be for the ladies that are currently in phase two, okay?

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Because we go through the teachings of the videos,

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and it just, as you can see on your screen, ladies,

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it's a smaller community, okay?

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We really do this to be able to pour into you,

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as you're transitioning from phase one to phase three.

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It's kind of that interim.

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It's there to help you navigate going from not dating

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and working on your heart work,

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and then processing through, okay?

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Because some of you ladies are not gonna be ready

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to date in phase two, and that's totally fine, okay?

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If God hasn't given you the clear

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and there's no peace there, that's fine too.

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Doesn't mean that you can't glean things from here.

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And then, as you get ready to move into phase three,

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there's a huge community out there in phase three,

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and there's great teachings.

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So, a lot of phase three,

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there's times where we do invite you ladies in phase two

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to come to our phase three teachings.

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actually one a month or one every two months,

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but we really want to help y'all get through

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the content that's in phase two, okay?

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And once you've gone through that content,

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now you're ready for phase three, okay?

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There's just gonna be lots more connection there.

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So yes, Mickey, you're still working on videos in phase two

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and that's perfectly fine, okay?

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Ladies, we do encourage four to five weeks in phase two,

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but we understand that life happens.

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Not all of you are gonna be on the same like journey

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and pace and we totally get that.

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There is grace here in this community.

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So if it takes you a little bit longer,

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that's totally fine, okay?

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After many months, if we kind of see that, you know,

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you might just need a little nudging out the nest,

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we will be here to support you in that

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and we will help you along the way.

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But we're not just gonna like, you know,

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not give you grace and not be gentle with y'all, okay?

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Look, I've been there, I've been where you're at,

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like we all get it, okay?

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Yes, there's times for tough love,

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but we are also doing tough love out of love, okay?

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So don't stress about any of that.

292
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So yes, Kelly, you sent an email yesterday

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about the app on your iPad.

294
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Okay, this is good.

295
00:16:17.380 --> 00:16:19.340
You have it on your phone, but on the iPad,

296
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it's not showing that you have any groups, okay?

297
00:16:21.820 --> 00:16:26.580
So yeah, don't send an email for that.

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I would suggest in, well, are you have,

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if you have access to the app in your phone,

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there is, again, in that tech training,

301
00:16:35.580 --> 00:16:38.380
there's a place for you ladies

302
00:16:38.380 --> 00:16:41.420
to share all of the glitches that you're seeing,

303
00:16:41.420 --> 00:16:43.980
whether it's in the SpiritMate match intake form,

304
00:16:43.980 --> 00:16:45.580
whether it's the affiliate program,

305
00:16:45.580 --> 00:16:47.460
because you've been trying to set that up,

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if it's the app in general,

307
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there is a resource in that app to communicate to us

308
00:16:54.840 --> 00:16:57.760
all the technical difficulties that you're having, okay?

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That's how you'll communicate that with us.

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So you can, you know, I can't promise that every,

311
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that your email is going to get answered, okay?

312
00:17:06.280 --> 00:17:09.839
So just try to do it there, okay?

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All right, been a little longer on the housekeeping

314
00:17:12.200 --> 00:17:13.020
than I would like to,

315
00:17:13.020 --> 00:17:16.560
but I think it's all good, important information, okay?

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00:17:16.560 --> 00:17:19.180
We got lots more people on, which is awesome.

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If you can come on camera, please do.

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I know some of you are at work, but again,

319
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if you're in, even if you're in the car

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or you don't have your hair and makeup done,

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you can come on camera, it's just us ladies.

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I can tell you many times I've come on camera here

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00:17:33.240 --> 00:17:35.760
on these Zooms looking not put together,

324
00:17:35.760 --> 00:17:38.880
and it's okay, it's just us ladies, all right?

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All right, so I wanna go ahead

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00:17:40.520 --> 00:17:42.240
and get into our teaching of the week.

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How many really great things,

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please raise your hand if you make an effort

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to get to Supernatural Saturday.

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Raise your avatar hand or raise your physical hand

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if you're on camera, okay?

332
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All right, so I got Mickey and Blessie, awesome, love it.

333
00:18:01.520 --> 00:18:03.680
I see Kelly is raising her hand,

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Sarah and Nicole, awesome, awesome, awesome.

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All right, yes, ladies, okay?

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If you are not raising your hand,

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I really want to encourage you

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00:18:15.120 --> 00:18:17.800
to get to those Supernatural Saturdays.

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00:18:17.800 --> 00:18:20.720
We do them every week, Jackie comes on,

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she gives, I mean, she is anointed.

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Let me tell you the words that, you know,

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00:18:26.200 --> 00:18:29.840
God speaks through her are always so timely.

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And there's a lot of breakthrough that can happen

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00:18:33.080 --> 00:18:36.360
when you just receive what she's teaching on Saturday.

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Bethany's on those Supernatural Saturdays as well.

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So I can attest that it's just good, okay?

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If you can't make it on Saturdays,

348
00:18:46.440 --> 00:18:51.440
I oftentimes I can't because I've got, you know, three kids,

349
00:18:51.960 --> 00:18:54.920
my son is in travel baseball.

350
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So we're always up at the butt crack of dawn on Saturdays,

351
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like driving 30 minutes, an hour away

352
00:19:01.040 --> 00:19:03.200
to these baseball tournaments and all that kind of stuff.

353
00:19:03.200 --> 00:19:08.160
So I can't always get to that, but we put them in replay.

354
00:19:08.160 --> 00:19:10.080
So watch them in replay, ladies.

355
00:19:10.080 --> 00:19:13.560
I can't, I'm like, I've spent the last couple of days

356
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going back and listening to Supernatural Saturdays,

357
00:19:16.400 --> 00:19:18.640
especially from the last two weeks.

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Ladies, it's so good, okay?

359
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So I'm going to talk a little bit about that.

360
00:19:23.680 --> 00:19:25.360
I don't want to spoil it,

361
00:19:25.360 --> 00:19:28.360
but I really feel like Holy Spirit

362
00:19:28.360 --> 00:19:31.640
is on what Jackie is speaking.

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And, you know, God has been speaking to me through her

364
00:19:35.040 --> 00:19:38.040
and even speaking to me in some other areas as well

365
00:19:38.920 --> 00:19:40.880
that falls into line with, you know,

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what she's been sharing over the last couple of weeks.

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So, you know, one of the things that Jackie

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really emphasized, and I can attest to this

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just having been through this program,

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is that when God gives us a word or a promise,

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it will come with a process.

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So ladies, you all are in this single season right now, okay?

373
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experience some stuff. All right. I was in a single season too.

374
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I was in a single season for 40 years and I went through some stuff.

375
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And once I stepped into and I knew that God had this promise of marriage to me,

376
00:20:12.640 --> 00:20:15.000
you know, there was this process, there was,

377
00:20:15.280 --> 00:20:19.240
there was some struggle at times. Okay. You know?

378
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And so, you know,

379
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she really talks a lot about that and I really want to emphasize,

380
00:20:25.800 --> 00:20:29.080
you know, the importance of understanding that

381
00:20:30.640 --> 00:20:33.840
it's going to get hard at times. Okay.

382
00:20:34.400 --> 00:20:38.320
And I'm seeing that often in the roll calls and seeing that in our,

383
00:20:38.320 --> 00:20:41.280
our life sessions. And, um,

384
00:20:42.280 --> 00:20:45.680
I get it cause I've experienced it too. I was,

385
00:20:45.680 --> 00:20:49.160
I was going through that same thing. All right. And, and then,

386
00:20:49.160 --> 00:20:53.600
and one of the, the supernatural Saturdays, I think it was last week, you know,

387
00:20:53.600 --> 00:20:56.600
what stuck out to me is what, you know, Jackie shared is,

388
00:20:56.600 --> 00:21:00.240
are you going to give up or are you going to get up?

389
00:21:01.360 --> 00:21:04.440
All right. As Christians,

390
00:21:04.680 --> 00:21:07.720
we're going to walk through trials and tribulations,

391
00:21:08.920 --> 00:21:13.040
but the good news is that Jesus has overcome it.

392
00:21:13.600 --> 00:21:18.320
Okay. So there is hard seasons as a Christian,

393
00:21:18.360 --> 00:21:20.200
we're going to go through trials and tribulations.

394
00:21:21.120 --> 00:21:25.560
It will be in your single season too. But what I will tell you, okay.

395
00:21:25.960 --> 00:21:28.360
And what I really appreciate that Jackie did,

396
00:21:28.360 --> 00:21:33.280
because I wished I would have heard more of this

397
00:21:33.280 --> 00:21:35.240
when I was going through the program.

398
00:21:36.200 --> 00:21:38.840
And that's not that it wasn't being spoken.

399
00:21:39.280 --> 00:21:41.280
I wasn't paying attention to it.

400
00:21:41.960 --> 00:21:45.320
And so he talks about a little bit

401
00:21:46.560 --> 00:21:51.360
about marriage is going to have seasons of hard, just like singleness.

402
00:21:52.000 --> 00:21:52.480
Okay.

403
00:21:52.520 --> 00:21:55.720
And that this season that you're in and the heart and the struggle that you're

404
00:21:55.720 --> 00:22:00.320
going through is preparing you for what you're going to step into in

405
00:22:00.320 --> 00:22:01.160
marriage.

406
00:22:01.360 --> 00:22:05.600
You'll hear Jackie oftentimes say that marriage is God's

407
00:22:05.600 --> 00:22:10.200
maturity plan for humankind. He's not joking y'all. All right.

408
00:22:10.200 --> 00:22:14.080
Some of you have even been married at one time or another, and probably can,

409
00:22:14.440 --> 00:22:15.560
can, you know,

410
00:22:15.720 --> 00:22:20.080
confirm that there are seasons of just hard in marriage.

411
00:22:20.440 --> 00:22:22.840
You know, I just celebrated one year with my husband.

412
00:22:22.840 --> 00:22:26.200
I had never been married before and ladies,

413
00:22:27.000 --> 00:22:31.440
I'm going to be real with you. It has been a very, very difficult year for me.

414
00:22:32.040 --> 00:22:36.760
I thought single was hard. Ooh, marriage has been even harder for me.

415
00:22:37.520 --> 00:22:41.320
Okay. And I'm thankful for this community.

416
00:22:41.320 --> 00:22:46.080
And I'm thankful to this program because it was the tools and the

417
00:22:46.160 --> 00:22:50.880
teachings that I got and that I practice that fortified

418
00:22:50.880 --> 00:22:55.600
me to get to this season that I'm in now where I'm blending a family

419
00:22:56.360 --> 00:23:00.800
and I'm stepping into marriage. You know, we're my husband and I I'm 41 now.

420
00:23:01.160 --> 00:23:06.160
He's 40. Okay. We've, we've been through life, you know, we're, we're,

421
00:23:06.200 --> 00:23:09.440
we're older now, you know, we've had more life. It's not like we were, you know,

422
00:23:09.440 --> 00:23:12.400
18, 19 years old, getting married. We're older.

423
00:23:12.400 --> 00:23:15.960
We have some stuff that comes with it. I had some stuff in my life.

424
00:23:15.960 --> 00:23:20.120
There's hard work that I had to go through with the things that I experienced.

425
00:23:20.840 --> 00:23:25.240
And then he had a previous marriage. He was married for 11 years.

426
00:23:25.640 --> 00:23:28.320
And his, his words are,

427
00:23:28.360 --> 00:23:30.880
it was 11 years of hell on earth for him.

428
00:23:31.440 --> 00:23:36.120
He was married to a woman that was borderline personality disorder.

429
00:23:36.680 --> 00:23:40.160
And it was very, very hard. And you know,

430
00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:43.640
God took her though. She's passed.

431
00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:49.000
She had cancer and is now healed in heaven,

432
00:23:49.920 --> 00:23:53.480
but he's worked through a season. And so there was just hardness that,

433
00:23:53.480 --> 00:23:54.400
that happened.

434
00:23:55.440 --> 00:23:58.920
And now we're stepping into a new season and there's some,

435
00:23:58.920 --> 00:24:00.200
still some hard here,

436
00:24:00.520 --> 00:24:04.960
but God has seen us through all of that and God's going to see you through this

437
00:24:04.960 --> 00:24:07.920
single season and he's preparing you.

438
00:24:07.920 --> 00:24:12.920
So I really think it's important for y'all to listen to those supernatural

439
00:24:13.120 --> 00:24:17.920
Saturdays because ladies, this community is here to lift each other up.

440
00:24:18.040 --> 00:24:22.320
You know, Jackie talked about lifting each other's sails. So, you know,

441
00:24:22.440 --> 00:24:26.640
I, I got, I got the husband, I got the promise. Okay.

442
00:24:26.680 --> 00:24:28.920
It came with preparation, you know,

443
00:24:28.920 --> 00:24:33.160
and I got here because the program and what Jackie was Jackie did and the advice

444
00:24:33.160 --> 00:24:35.640
was given. But I will tell you, it wasn't easy.

445
00:24:35.640 --> 00:24:38.600
The singleness wasn't easy and it's still not easy.

446
00:24:39.160 --> 00:24:42.120
And that is why I'm here now. It's why I love what I do.

447
00:24:42.120 --> 00:24:45.720
I love that I can pour into you ladies, because truth be told,

448
00:24:45.720 --> 00:24:48.440
it actually helps lift me up too. You know,

449
00:24:48.440 --> 00:24:52.200
those supernatural Saturday calls that I just listened to this week from the last

450
00:24:52.200 --> 00:24:56.680
couple of weeks, I was like, man, that really is helping me in my season.

451
00:24:57.000 --> 00:25:00.040
Okay. So I just want to, you know,

452
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:01.400
but put that on you ladies.

453
00:25:01.400 --> 00:25:04.540
And I know I think last week I talked to y'all about,

454
00:25:04.540 --> 00:25:06.420
you know, something that I wanted to share

455
00:25:06.420 --> 00:25:09.880
and it goes hand in hand and I think it was very timely.

456
00:25:09.880 --> 00:25:13.600
And so I'm thankful that it's being brought up again

457
00:25:13.600 --> 00:25:16.680
because I want to give you all this visual

458
00:25:16.680 --> 00:25:20.040
because it helps me and I think it's gonna help y'all too.

459
00:25:20.040 --> 00:25:22.640
So my husband and I, we went to Napa

460
00:25:22.640 --> 00:25:25.420
for our one year anniversary.

461
00:25:25.420 --> 00:25:28.000
And, you know, we went to a bunch of different wineries

462
00:25:28.040 --> 00:25:30.240
and what was interesting to me

463
00:25:30.240 --> 00:25:32.080
was that at a couple of these wineries,

464
00:25:32.080 --> 00:25:37.080
they had glass containers of soil and dirt.

465
00:25:37.960 --> 00:25:40.560
And apparently in Napa,

466
00:25:40.560 --> 00:25:44.560
there's all these different areas

467
00:25:44.560 --> 00:25:46.120
that have different soils

468
00:25:46.120 --> 00:25:49.640
and certain wines come from certain,

469
00:25:49.640 --> 00:25:51.680
like it's all like this art,

470
00:25:51.680 --> 00:25:53.640
like it really is this like science.

471
00:25:53.640 --> 00:25:55.800
It's really fascinating.

472
00:25:55.800 --> 00:25:58.340
But one of the wineries that we were at,

473
00:26:00.160 --> 00:26:03.200
there was a table of all these things of dirt

474
00:26:03.200 --> 00:26:04.560
from all these different areas

475
00:26:04.560 --> 00:26:07.760
and where they get their grapes for their wine and stuff.

476
00:26:07.760 --> 00:26:11.720
And it was really interesting and it was really profound

477
00:26:11.720 --> 00:26:13.400
and I felt Holy Spirit on it

478
00:26:13.400 --> 00:26:15.960
when our tour guide shared this.

479
00:26:15.960 --> 00:26:18.480
He was explaining to us and if you looked at the soil

480
00:26:18.480 --> 00:26:21.160
and I will try to remember to post a picture

481
00:26:21.160 --> 00:26:25.160
in the app for you ladies of some of the soil.

482
00:26:25.160 --> 00:26:28.240
Some of the soil had like straight up rocks in it,

483
00:26:28.240 --> 00:26:30.440
like huge rocks.

484
00:26:31.400 --> 00:26:34.720
And he said, if you look at it,

485
00:26:34.720 --> 00:26:36.760
when you look at it, you don't think to yourself,

486
00:26:36.760 --> 00:26:39.980
oh, that's good soil to plant vegetation in.

487
00:26:40.960 --> 00:26:44.400
And I'm like, yeah, no, I'll be like,

488
00:26:44.400 --> 00:26:47.680
I am a killer of anything like plant wise, okay?

489
00:26:47.680 --> 00:26:49.360
So I'm like, yeah, I definitely,

490
00:26:49.360 --> 00:26:51.680
but I know I'm like, I'm not planting anything in there

491
00:26:51.680 --> 00:26:52.920
cause there's just no way.

492
00:26:52.920 --> 00:26:54.280
I mean, I can hardly keep anything.

493
00:26:54.280 --> 00:26:55.840
A little house plant alive,

494
00:26:55.840 --> 00:26:58.440
let alone something growing in this like rocky,

495
00:26:58.440 --> 00:27:00.320
dry looking soil.

496
00:27:00.320 --> 00:27:03.800
And so he said, but in fact,

497
00:27:03.800 --> 00:27:07.360
that is actually really good soil for the vine,

498
00:27:07.360 --> 00:27:08.800
for the grapes.

499
00:27:08.800 --> 00:27:11.720
And the reason being is because it's got,

500
00:27:11.720 --> 00:27:16.720
there's so much stress taking place in that soil

501
00:27:16.960 --> 00:27:21.960
that it really forces the vines to get down

502
00:27:22.040 --> 00:27:27.040
and get to the root or get to the source of the nutrients.

503
00:27:27.960 --> 00:27:32.960
It has to work harder to get to the source

504
00:27:32.960 --> 00:27:35.680
through the stress and the struggle of the soil.

505
00:27:37.400 --> 00:27:42.400
And then he says, but that type of soil,

506
00:27:42.600 --> 00:27:45.760
and when the vine gets to the source,

507
00:27:45.760 --> 00:27:47.480
goes deep to the source,

508
00:27:48.440 --> 00:27:52.960
that's what produces the more abundant, sweeter,

509
00:27:52.960 --> 00:27:55.920
more highly concentrated fruit.

510
00:27:55.920 --> 00:28:00.920
It gives a more plentiful harvest of those grapes.

511
00:28:01.640 --> 00:28:03.360
And those are the grapes that produce

512
00:28:03.360 --> 00:28:05.360
some of the best wines.

513
00:28:05.360 --> 00:28:10.360
And I was just like, whoa, like reference the Bible

514
00:28:12.040 --> 00:28:15.560
and how oftentimes it talks about Jesus being

515
00:28:16.560 --> 00:28:19.280
like the vine, right?

516
00:28:20.240 --> 00:28:23.360
Like, oh, like, think about that.

517
00:28:23.360 --> 00:28:28.360
So the stress, if you go through struggles right now, ladies

518
00:28:28.400 --> 00:28:31.560
it's just calling you deeper to the source.

519
00:28:32.680 --> 00:28:34.240
And when you go deeper to the source,

520
00:28:34.240 --> 00:28:37.800
it is going to produce such an amazing fruit.

521
00:28:38.840 --> 00:28:42.240
It's, God will use it, okay?

522
00:28:42.240 --> 00:28:45.080
So again, I just, I leave that with y'all.

523
00:28:45.600 --> 00:28:47.560
I hope it blesses you.

524
00:28:47.560 --> 00:28:50.200
So I really, I just, I wanted to highlight that

525
00:28:50.200 --> 00:28:54.000
before we go into talking a little bit about our video,

526
00:28:54.000 --> 00:28:55.320
the online dating video,

527
00:28:55.320 --> 00:28:58.600
where I'm gonna go over those top 10, okay?

528
00:28:58.600 --> 00:29:01.520
So I hope you got something from that,

529
00:29:01.520 --> 00:29:04.720
but talk about struggles, right?

530
00:29:04.720 --> 00:29:07.360
We're gonna talk about online dating, okay?

531
00:29:07.360 --> 00:29:10.560
So I know online dating is not always

532
00:29:10.560 --> 00:29:11.960
everybody's favorite thing,

533
00:29:12.040 --> 00:29:15.240
and there are some struggles with online dating.

534
00:29:15.240 --> 00:29:19.400
So raise your hand if you are currently online dating

535
00:29:19.400 --> 00:29:24.400
and you've experienced some, you know, rockiness, okay?

536
00:29:26.880 --> 00:29:28.360
Some, anybody, anybody?

537
00:29:29.800 --> 00:29:33.480
Yep, Nicole, it's there.

538
00:29:33.480 --> 00:29:35.440
All right, I totally get it.

539
00:29:35.440 --> 00:29:38.360
You know, online dating wasn't my favorite either,

540
00:29:38.360 --> 00:29:39.480
but you know what?

541
00:29:39.480 --> 00:29:41.920
God gave me the green light for it.

542
00:29:42.760 --> 00:29:45.280
So I listened, I stepped into obedience.

543
00:29:45.280 --> 00:29:50.000
So just know I've been there with you, okay?

544
00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:52.840
So we're just gonna go over the top 10 of online dating,

545
00:29:52.840 --> 00:29:55.800
and then we are going to do a little quick breakout,

546
00:29:55.800 --> 00:29:58.560
and then we'll get to your questions, okay?

547
00:29:58.560 --> 00:30:00.440
So online dating.

548
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.680
Go in with a fresh attitude or don't go in at all, okay?

549
00:30:04.680 --> 00:30:11.640
it's really important that you really have the peace of going with it and then come in with a

550
00:30:11.880 --> 00:30:15.960
Positive attitude and then do it if you already have some negative

551
00:30:16.200 --> 00:30:23.120
Mindsets take some time to process through that before jumping in because anybody that's on online dating will attest

552
00:30:23.120 --> 00:30:28.760
There's just some not-so-great things about it at times, but it doesn't have to ruin our experience

553
00:30:28.760 --> 00:30:36.080
Okay, so it's good to have a good fresh attitude with it when you do online dating number two go in to actually date

554
00:30:36.120 --> 00:30:40.840
All right, get to know yourself practice your dating skill. All right

555
00:30:40.840 --> 00:30:47.040
I know sometimes it's easy just to want to stay behind your screen and just do the texting back and forth

556
00:30:47.040 --> 00:30:51.600
But really go in with it with the mindset that you're gonna learn a little bit about yourself

557
00:30:51.640 --> 00:30:55.680
You're gonna practice these new dating skills that you're learning and you're actually gonna have some

558
00:30:56.160 --> 00:31:00.680
Face to face interaction. Okay, whether that's on video or in person

559
00:31:00.680 --> 00:31:05.720
Okay, if it's if they're long-distance, yeah, it's gonna be on video from for a lot of it

560
00:31:05.720 --> 00:31:12.680
Okay, eventually within six weeks. We encourage you all you're on long-distance dating within six weeks

561
00:31:13.200 --> 00:31:15.200
Get get in person. Okay

562
00:31:16.640 --> 00:31:20.520
I can attest to that because I my husband and I were long-distance

563
00:31:20.520 --> 00:31:26.540
It was I think we met each other after three weeks. So it worked out worked out well in our favor. Okay

564
00:31:27.320 --> 00:31:33.680
Number three be willing to deal with the scammers the ghosters the wishy-washy men, you know, just pass them by ladies

565
00:31:33.880 --> 00:31:35.880
You're gonna have them. All right

566
00:31:36.280 --> 00:31:40.440
It's not your job to teach them how to date though. Okay, I know it's really easy

567
00:31:40.440 --> 00:31:45.240
It was always I always wanted to tell them like especially the guys that really ticked me

568
00:31:45.240 --> 00:31:48.680
I wanted to tell them what's up. I had to learn to let it go

569
00:31:48.800 --> 00:31:52.960
Okay, it's not our job to teach them how to date it's not our job to share the gospel

570
00:31:53.640 --> 00:31:58.600
Not our job to especially with online dating. Okay, if yes, we want it

571
00:31:58.600 --> 00:32:04.200
We want to share the gospel with people. You don't have to do it when you're online dating or dating in general

572
00:32:04.200 --> 00:32:07.840
Okay, that's not an avenue to do it in. All right, so

573
00:32:08.520 --> 00:32:12.840
And then don't teach these men how to date the way that you date

574
00:32:12.840 --> 00:32:17.240
Okay, you'll have Jackie and us coaches helping you these don't have it. Okay

575
00:32:18.040 --> 00:32:20.200
It's not your job to teach them the heart work either

576
00:32:20.640 --> 00:32:25.840
Okay, so if you notice that you see that, you know, some of these men are just really really stuck

577
00:32:26.360 --> 00:32:29.520
you know, that's just be ready to deal with that and

578
00:32:30.160 --> 00:32:36.360
You know come into this community and share with us what your experience and we'll help you through that process. Okay?

579
00:32:37.080 --> 00:32:42.920
Number four we're gonna talk about your profile. So pick your best photos that are close-up and that are full length

580
00:32:43.080 --> 00:32:47.280
Okay, don't put other people in your photos, it's very distracting

581
00:32:47.280 --> 00:32:52.320
All right, and try not to cover up your face with sunglasses men want to see your face. They want to see your eyes

582
00:32:52.960 --> 00:32:58.900
They want to see your smile. So make sure you're smiling. You don't want to have that RBF. All right

583
00:32:59.480 --> 00:33:05.720
So, you know what? I'm talking about. It's all that resting space. All right, we don't want to have that in our photos smile

584
00:33:05.720 --> 00:33:10.320
All right, men love women to have a nice smile. Okay

585
00:33:11.040 --> 00:33:14.660
So make sure you're posting those type of photos

586
00:33:15.520 --> 00:33:20.680
Positive about who you are and what you like to do and what you're looking for. So

587
00:33:21.720 --> 00:33:28.600
Renee even encourages in that video like don't don't go to Jesus. Okay, you can share that

588
00:33:28.600 --> 00:33:34.760
You have a relationship with Jesus, but you don't want it to get the point that you sound a little preachy. Okay?

589
00:33:35.600 --> 00:33:42.000
That can actually distract men even Christian men for wanting to get to know you

590
00:33:42.480 --> 00:33:47.000
Okay, because there's there's and there's unhealed Christian people out there, too

591
00:33:47.000 --> 00:33:53.720
So some people have had experience with that and then make sure on those profiles that you're filling in all the places

592
00:33:53.720 --> 00:33:55.720
So there's lots of different

593
00:33:55.840 --> 00:34:03.400
Online sites have places for photos and answering questions or things for videos. Just fill it out to its full capacity

594
00:34:03.760 --> 00:34:04.880
Okay

595
00:34:04.880 --> 00:34:11.840
Number five focus on just one or two sites at a time. Some of the free ones are Facebook dating

596
00:34:11.840 --> 00:34:14.280
That's actually what I used

597
00:34:14.280 --> 00:34:17.280
I didn't find my husband on Facebook dating

598
00:34:17.280 --> 00:34:24.080
But that's where I got a majority of my dates and honestly, I didn't have a lot of horrible experiences through that leave it or not

599
00:34:24.280 --> 00:34:30.800
Okay. Yeah. Did I come across the men that weren't Christian? Yeah, did some of them I still go on dates with yeah

600
00:34:31.080 --> 00:34:35.159
They're still nice guys now, I knew they weren't aligned with some of my beliefs

601
00:34:35.320 --> 00:34:39.800
So after a couple of days, I was like, thanks, but no thing, you know, best of luck to you

602
00:34:40.440 --> 00:34:42.440
I think hinge is another one

603
00:34:42.800 --> 00:34:47.320
That has a free version. So just focus on one or two at a time

604
00:34:47.760 --> 00:34:51.639
Otherwise, you're working like it working it like a job and I don't know about y'all

605
00:34:51.639 --> 00:34:56.280
But when I was single, I was a single mom. I didn't have time for that. I really had to make sure that I

606
00:34:57.160 --> 00:35:00.000
Allotted appropriate time so I didn't want to edit

607
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.700
when bombard myself.

608
00:35:01.700 --> 00:35:03.500
Okay, number six, we encourage you

609
00:35:03.500 --> 00:35:05.580
to only text for about a week,

610
00:35:05.580 --> 00:35:06.980
and then move to a video.

611
00:35:06.980 --> 00:35:08.260
You can use Zoom.

612
00:35:08.260 --> 00:35:10.020
Zoom is actually really great,

613
00:35:10.020 --> 00:35:11.180
especially the free version,

614
00:35:11.180 --> 00:35:13.340
because it will cut you off after 40 minutes,

615
00:35:13.340 --> 00:35:16.100
because we really don't want that first interaction,

616
00:35:16.100 --> 00:35:19.180
especially on video, to last longer than an hour,

617
00:35:19.180 --> 00:35:21.580
because then you kind of run into the territory

618
00:35:21.580 --> 00:35:24.260
of going too deep too quick.

619
00:35:24.260 --> 00:35:26.660
So 40 minutes is kind of like Zoom cuts you off

620
00:35:26.660 --> 00:35:27.620
and like kicks you off.

621
00:35:27.680 --> 00:35:31.320
So you can move the video, you can use Zoom,

622
00:35:31.320 --> 00:35:34.920
or you can move to a phone call.

623
00:35:34.920 --> 00:35:36.800
I still encourage the video.

624
00:35:36.800 --> 00:35:37.840
I get the phone call.

625
00:35:37.840 --> 00:35:40.120
My husband and I did a phone call first,

626
00:35:40.120 --> 00:35:41.840
just so I could hear his voice

627
00:35:41.840 --> 00:35:43.840
and make sure that he was a real person.

628
00:35:43.840 --> 00:35:47.440
But video is just me, it's a little bit better.

629
00:35:47.440 --> 00:35:49.520
And then move to that live date as well.

630
00:35:49.520 --> 00:35:51.040
So if you can do that within a week,

631
00:35:51.040 --> 00:35:52.320
we do encourage you that.

632
00:35:53.520 --> 00:35:55.840
Number seven, so some top things to say

633
00:35:55.860 --> 00:35:56.980
when you're online dating

634
00:35:56.980 --> 00:35:59.580
and you're interacting with men is,

635
00:35:59.580 --> 00:36:01.580
one thing you can say is that you are looking

636
00:36:01.580 --> 00:36:03.140
to date in real life.

637
00:36:03.140 --> 00:36:05.260
You don't want a pen pal, okay?

638
00:36:05.260 --> 00:36:06.540
You're not gonna marry someone

639
00:36:06.540 --> 00:36:08.260
that you have a relationship

640
00:36:08.260 --> 00:36:12.260
that's just solely right here on your phone, okay?

641
00:36:12.260 --> 00:36:14.380
You need to get in person with them, okay?

642
00:36:14.380 --> 00:36:17.620
So you want to date in real life, okay?

643
00:36:17.620 --> 00:36:19.220
And then if guys, if you're saying,

644
00:36:19.220 --> 00:36:20.300
hey, I wanna do a video chat,

645
00:36:20.300 --> 00:36:21.140
I wanna meet in person,

646
00:36:21.140 --> 00:36:23.380
and they keep like blowing you off,

647
00:36:24.240 --> 00:36:27.440
then it's time, okay, move on to the next one, okay?

648
00:36:27.440 --> 00:36:29.920
It's possible that they could be a scammer, all right?

649
00:36:29.920 --> 00:36:31.240
Not saying that happens all the time,

650
00:36:31.240 --> 00:36:34.200
but frequently, if they're reluctant

651
00:36:34.200 --> 00:36:37.640
to have a video call with you or get in person,

652
00:36:37.640 --> 00:36:40.440
it's probably because they're not who they say they are.

653
00:36:40.440 --> 00:36:41.280
All right?

654
00:36:42.640 --> 00:36:44.040
Another thing you can say is,

655
00:36:44.040 --> 00:36:46.080
those are great questions for a live chat

656
00:36:46.080 --> 00:36:49.640
so we can hear each other's tone and inflection.

657
00:36:49.640 --> 00:36:52.640
What, do you wanna go ahead and set that up?

658
00:36:52.660 --> 00:36:54.460
So if they're asking some questions,

659
00:36:54.460 --> 00:36:56.820
like say, I would love to answer that question,

660
00:36:56.820 --> 00:37:00.620
let's go ahead and do it live on video.

661
00:37:00.620 --> 00:37:01.620
What do you say?

662
00:37:01.620 --> 00:37:03.080
You wanna go ahead and set that up?

663
00:37:03.080 --> 00:37:07.380
Those are ways that you can get that video call.

664
00:37:07.380 --> 00:37:08.660
Another thing you can say,

665
00:37:08.660 --> 00:37:12.740
what things do you do that take up your time

666
00:37:12.740 --> 00:37:14.460
that matter to you?

667
00:37:14.460 --> 00:37:16.300
This is where you get,

668
00:37:16.300 --> 00:37:18.940
what is a priority and important in their life?

669
00:37:19.940 --> 00:37:23.340
I use this question to share about my faith.

670
00:37:24.280 --> 00:37:27.160
And I didn't like go real deep, okay?

671
00:37:27.160 --> 00:37:29.720
I just expressed, this is important to me,

672
00:37:29.720 --> 00:37:31.440
this is what matters in my life,

673
00:37:31.440 --> 00:37:33.680
this is how it shows up in my life.

674
00:37:33.680 --> 00:37:34.640
Okay?

675
00:37:34.640 --> 00:37:37.120
And then I would wait and hear,

676
00:37:37.120 --> 00:37:39.720
see if men had the same response

677
00:37:39.720 --> 00:37:42.080
and they maybe shared about their faith.

678
00:37:42.080 --> 00:37:44.360
So that's kind of a way that you can ask.

679
00:37:44.360 --> 00:37:46.080
Now, I'm not gonna say start deep diving

680
00:37:46.080 --> 00:37:47.740
when you get into the faith question,

681
00:37:47.740 --> 00:37:49.880
but it gives you an idea.

682
00:37:51.560 --> 00:37:52.760
What things do you like to do

683
00:37:52.760 --> 00:37:55.620
to decompress, relax, and restore?

684
00:37:55.620 --> 00:37:56.500
That's a good question.

685
00:37:56.500 --> 00:37:58.240
That's a good thing to say.

686
00:37:58.240 --> 00:38:01.560
Another thing is stick to the present day conversations

687
00:38:01.560 --> 00:38:04.980
and what they're wanting to do in the next year or two.

688
00:38:04.980 --> 00:38:06.720
Don't talk so much about the future,

689
00:38:06.720 --> 00:38:08.640
don't talk about the past.

690
00:38:08.640 --> 00:38:11.240
So the next thing is don't overshare your trauma,

691
00:38:11.240 --> 00:38:13.900
your drama, your ex situation, triggers,

692
00:38:13.900 --> 00:38:17.160
or to get too deep into your faith

693
00:38:17.160 --> 00:38:20.380
and don't have those sex conversations.

694
00:38:20.380 --> 00:38:21.220
Okay?

695
00:38:21.220 --> 00:38:22.060
We actually encourage you

696
00:38:22.060 --> 00:38:24.540
not to have those sex conversations

697
00:38:24.540 --> 00:38:26.000
until much later,

698
00:38:26.000 --> 00:38:29.380
once you have been in level two for some time

699
00:38:29.380 --> 00:38:31.340
and then the man is asking

700
00:38:31.340 --> 00:38:33.860
for that exclusive level three relationship.

701
00:38:33.860 --> 00:38:36.180
That's when you're gonna have those conversations

702
00:38:36.180 --> 00:38:37.200
because you're gonna be stepping

703
00:38:37.200 --> 00:38:39.860
into a level three relationship with this person

704
00:38:39.860 --> 00:38:43.140
and you need to make sure that you're lined up

705
00:38:43.140 --> 00:38:45.700
to save yourself for marriage and that they are too.

706
00:38:45.720 --> 00:38:48.040
Because ladies, we've had, even just last week,

707
00:38:48.040 --> 00:38:49.840
someone shared that a guy wanted

708
00:38:49.840 --> 00:38:52.520
to have an exclusive relationship with them

709
00:38:52.520 --> 00:38:54.800
and she just needed a little time to pray on it

710
00:38:54.800 --> 00:38:56.560
and really take some time.

711
00:38:56.560 --> 00:38:59.700
And then they had another conversation, another date,

712
00:38:59.700 --> 00:39:03.000
and they had the abstinent before marriage talk.

713
00:39:03.000 --> 00:39:04.480
And she was adamant

714
00:39:04.480 --> 00:39:08.040
that she was saving herself for marriage.

715
00:39:08.040 --> 00:39:12.620
And he was like, yeah, I don't think I can do that.

716
00:39:12.640 --> 00:39:15.720
Ladies, men will tell you,

717
00:39:15.720 --> 00:39:17.820
take that as truth.

718
00:39:17.820 --> 00:39:18.660
All right?

719
00:39:18.660 --> 00:39:22.120
So if you're in a level two

720
00:39:22.120 --> 00:39:23.200
and you're getting to know somebody

721
00:39:23.200 --> 00:39:24.680
before you step into that level three

722
00:39:24.680 --> 00:39:26.100
and they're telling you,

723
00:39:26.100 --> 00:39:28.480
yeah, no, I plan to have sex

724
00:39:28.480 --> 00:39:30.720
with the person that I'm dating

725
00:39:30.720 --> 00:39:32.760
before I get married to them.

726
00:39:32.760 --> 00:39:34.940
Ladies, that right there,

727
00:39:34.940 --> 00:39:35.780
they're gonna tell you

728
00:39:35.780 --> 00:39:37.840
they're not gonna respect your boundary.

729
00:39:37.840 --> 00:39:38.680
Okay?

730
00:39:39.260 --> 00:39:44.260
So ways to not overshare,

731
00:39:44.900 --> 00:39:46.540
what you can say is,

732
00:39:46.540 --> 00:39:49.020
that's a great question for us to tackle

733
00:39:49.020 --> 00:39:52.480
once we've gotten to know each other a little more.

734
00:39:52.480 --> 00:39:55.900
Another thing, number eight is,

735
00:39:55.900 --> 00:39:58.140
be open to long distance

736
00:39:58.140 --> 00:40:00.340
if you can afford to do it.

737
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.800
do it and you are willing to relocate or if they say they are.

738
00:40:04.920 --> 00:40:08.280
Okay. One of my non-negotiables was I was not moving.

739
00:40:08.640 --> 00:40:10.360
I lived in Florida and I was not moving.

740
00:40:10.360 --> 00:40:14.000
I had no interest in dating anybody that didn't live close to me. Well,

741
00:40:14.000 --> 00:40:18.280
God had a work through my heart and he had a, you know,

742
00:40:19.080 --> 00:40:23.480
he had worked some things through me. And once I let that go,

743
00:40:24.280 --> 00:40:28.400
I met my husband. I thought he lived in Florida and it turns out he was from

744
00:40:28.400 --> 00:40:31.840
Texas. Okay. But I was in a place where I'm like, okay,

745
00:40:31.840 --> 00:40:36.640
I'm willing to see where this goes. And if God wants me to relocate,

746
00:40:36.640 --> 00:40:38.000
then he's going to have to do something.

747
00:40:38.000 --> 00:40:42.520
But I was willing to allow God to take that

748
00:40:42.520 --> 00:40:47.160
pen to write that love story. If that's what he wanted for me now,

749
00:40:48.080 --> 00:40:49.480
um, you know,

750
00:40:49.520 --> 00:40:53.720
my husband worked where I was living, um,

751
00:40:53.760 --> 00:40:56.720
about an hour away and he frequently traveled to Florida.

752
00:40:56.720 --> 00:40:59.280
So I knew we were going to be able to see each other in person.

753
00:40:59.680 --> 00:41:03.960
He was open to helping financially cover the,

754
00:41:04.000 --> 00:41:08.840
the cost of the travel. I knew I had a savings.

755
00:41:08.840 --> 00:41:13.560
I knew I could afford to help out here and there. So it worked. Um,

756
00:41:13.560 --> 00:41:18.360
and like I said, God, God worked it all out. I had to loosely hold it.

757
00:41:18.360 --> 00:41:22.000
I was very adamant about not moving. And then when I let it go,

758
00:41:22.400 --> 00:41:25.280
God gave me the opportunity. Hey, well,

759
00:41:25.280 --> 00:41:28.360
I think your husband is not in your area. Are you going to,

760
00:41:28.400 --> 00:41:31.160
are you going to walk where I want you to walk? And I was like, okay, God,

761
00:41:31.160 --> 00:41:32.360
you're going to have to do something.

762
00:41:32.800 --> 00:41:37.760
And I had a son and his dad lived about 45 minutes away.

763
00:41:38.040 --> 00:41:40.880
His dad would see him every other weekend, one night a week.

764
00:41:41.720 --> 00:41:45.400
And about two days

765
00:41:46.760 --> 00:41:51.360
after my husband and I decided to be exclusive when we talked about what this

766
00:41:51.360 --> 00:41:55.160
was going to look like and what marriage would look like. Um,

767
00:41:55.160 --> 00:41:56.960
if that was God's plan,

768
00:41:58.360 --> 00:42:01.720
my son's dad called me to tell me he was leaving the state of Florida.

769
00:42:03.200 --> 00:42:06.720
So I didn't have to do anything. God was like, I'm opening the door.

770
00:42:07.120 --> 00:42:10.160
I've already got that situation handled. You don't have to stress about it.

771
00:42:10.600 --> 00:42:15.040
I've already taken it. So again, be open to long distance, but know what,

772
00:42:15.320 --> 00:42:19.120
what that entails. So if, if you know, you're like me, you're like,

773
00:42:19.120 --> 00:42:20.000
I'm not moving.

774
00:42:20.520 --> 00:42:24.920
All I ask and all I tell y'all is just hold those things like

775
00:42:25.280 --> 00:42:28.560
non-negotiables loosely. Number nine,

776
00:42:28.720 --> 00:42:32.800
let them know that you want to see them again. If you want to see them again,

777
00:42:32.800 --> 00:42:36.720
if you go on a date and you had a nice time, you don't have to know like, Oh,

778
00:42:36.720 --> 00:42:39.760
I really liked that guy. I want him to be my husband. But if you're like, wow,

779
00:42:39.800 --> 00:42:44.800
that was enjoyable or that was okay. Maybe he was just a little nervous.

780
00:42:45.640 --> 00:42:48.600
Let them know, Hey, thank you. I had a really nice time.

781
00:42:48.960 --> 00:42:52.160
I would love to do this again. Let them know. Okay.

782
00:42:52.160 --> 00:42:55.200
Then let them initiate seeing you again. But here's the thing.

783
00:42:55.200 --> 00:43:00.200
They might not initiate seeing you again if they don't think you want to see

784
00:43:00.360 --> 00:43:03.800
them. Okay. So it's important to let them know that, Hey,

785
00:43:03.800 --> 00:43:06.760
if you enjoyed yourself, let them know and let them know that you would like to

786
00:43:06.760 --> 00:43:07.600
do it again.

787
00:43:07.680 --> 00:43:11.920
And the last thing that I will leave y'all before we jumped into some breakout

788
00:43:11.960 --> 00:43:16.960
questions and groups is it's a yes until it's a no. Okay.

789
00:43:17.480 --> 00:43:20.920
Be willing to have a couple dates with somebody.

790
00:43:21.000 --> 00:43:25.560
I say two or three after two or three dates, you're going to know, yeah,

791
00:43:25.560 --> 00:43:28.960
I don't, I don't think this is going anywhere. Bring it to the group.

792
00:43:29.840 --> 00:43:33.160
Us coaches will, we'll walk you through the process. Okay.

793
00:43:33.320 --> 00:43:37.000
We'll let you know if we think maybe you're responding to that because you're

794
00:43:37.000 --> 00:43:40.960
fearful or maybe you might be a little overcritical. Like that was me.

795
00:43:40.960 --> 00:43:44.240
I was oftentimes very critical guys. All right.

796
00:43:44.440 --> 00:43:49.440
But it's a harder thing than all right. So but bring it to us here.

797
00:43:49.800 --> 00:43:52.920
And again, like y'all are, are grown adult women.

798
00:43:52.920 --> 00:43:55.880
You're allowed to make those choices. I just, again,

799
00:43:57.040 --> 00:44:00.560
I know that the advice works because I've done it and I've done it the wrong

800
00:44:00.560 --> 00:44:01.840
way. I've done it the right way.

801
00:44:02.120 --> 00:44:05.680
I've seen many women come through this community and you know,

802
00:44:05.720 --> 00:44:09.000
they've given guys a second chance, a third date,

803
00:44:09.040 --> 00:44:11.960
and then they ended up marrying the guy. All right.

804
00:44:11.960 --> 00:44:13.200
Some of the women were even like,

805
00:44:13.240 --> 00:44:17.120
I wasn't even physically attracted to this guy and I'm married to him.

806
00:44:17.120 --> 00:44:21.240
So I kind of joke with my husband. That was kind of my experience.

807
00:44:21.280 --> 00:44:25.400
Like I thought my husband was a decent looking guy when I looked at pictures,

808
00:44:25.400 --> 00:44:28.960
but I didn't think he was drop dead gorgeous hot. I thought, okay, yeah,

809
00:44:28.960 --> 00:44:31.880
he's all right. And then once I met,

810
00:44:32.080 --> 00:44:37.080
met him and got to know his heart and I saw just some really amazing qualities.

811
00:44:37.760 --> 00:44:42.120
It just made me, I found myself so attracted to him,

812
00:44:42.480 --> 00:44:45.520
you know, more on a spiritual, intimate, you know,

813
00:44:45.520 --> 00:44:49.840
emotional level and then that physical level came as well. Okay.

814
00:44:50.320 --> 00:44:54.600
So that's, that's, that's all for today on online dating.

815
00:44:54.600 --> 00:44:59.040
I'm going to go ahead and read through some of your questions.

816
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:06.160
Before I do that, I'm going to go ahead and copy and paste our questions for the breakout session.

817
00:45:06.160 --> 00:45:12.720
I'm going to break y'all out here. So while I'm doing that, ladies, if you are not going to be

818
00:45:12.720 --> 00:45:22.160
able to unmute, please put that in the chat so I can see who that is so that if I put you in a

819
00:45:22.160 --> 00:45:28.160
group, I know to make sure that there's another two people in there if you're not able to.

820
00:45:30.320 --> 00:45:35.440
I'm trying to just for some reason, I didn't copy and paste these questions.

821
00:45:37.840 --> 00:45:42.560
Okay, yes, Judith, you have a question. So we'll get to that. We're going to do the breakouts first

822
00:45:42.560 --> 00:45:49.040
and then I will come back to the group. Okay, so I'm posting the three questions for breakout.

823
00:45:50.000 --> 00:45:53.840
So read through those. As you do that, I'm going to quickly go through and see

824
00:45:54.720 --> 00:46:01.440
if there was any other. Okay, so yeah, listen to the recording if I have. Okay, good, good, good,

825
00:46:01.440 --> 00:46:08.560
good. All right. So yeah, Judith, she loves all those supernatural Saturdays. It's good.

826
00:46:10.160 --> 00:46:14.880
Perfect, perfect, perfect. Okay, so Candy, you're the only one that's I see currently that's not

827
00:46:14.880 --> 00:46:19.920
able to unmute and Melissa. Okay. All right. So I'm going to try to put y'all in groups.

828
00:46:20.560 --> 00:46:25.680
So and Carissa, so lots of you can't. So all right, that's fine.

829
00:46:28.080 --> 00:46:30.640
Questions. So those of you that are going to be able to unmute,

830
00:46:31.440 --> 00:46:38.720
first question is I want you all to start to share what you would say about yourself

831
00:46:38.720 --> 00:46:45.280
in your profile and get feedback from the other person that you're talking with in your breakout

832
00:46:45.280 --> 00:46:49.680
session. So, you know, you don't have to necessarily be like ready for online dating,

833
00:46:49.680 --> 00:46:56.320
but let's just let's practice sharing about yourself. What positive good things can you

834
00:46:56.320 --> 00:47:03.520
talk to talk to somebody about yourself? All right. So share that the number two. So

835
00:47:04.320 --> 00:47:09.520
you will share for like no more than 90 seconds and then let the next person go. And then when

836
00:47:10.160 --> 00:47:12.880
everybody's answered the first question, move on to number two.

837
00:47:13.520 --> 00:47:21.360
What are you doing outside of online dating to get back out there? Okay. So go ahead and do that.

838
00:47:23.680 --> 00:47:27.440
And then the last one, this is going to be a challenging one because it kind of goes into

839
00:47:27.440 --> 00:47:31.920
what, you know, Supernatural Saturday, what I really felt like Holy Spirit was speaking through

840
00:47:31.920 --> 00:47:38.320
Jackie is ladies, I want you to confess to each other what is an excuse you've been using to

841
00:47:38.320 --> 00:47:42.480
avoid stepping into a promise that God has given you. So for some of you, it might be the promise

842
00:47:42.480 --> 00:47:52.560
of marriage. Have you been using any excuses? So confess what those excuses are. Okay. And here's

843
00:47:52.560 --> 00:47:57.840
the thing. I see them and some of y'all confess them in roll call. So I know, I know some of you

844
00:47:57.840 --> 00:48:05.120
do it. All right. We all do it. All right. I give a lot of excuses, even in my current life of how,

845
00:48:05.120 --> 00:48:09.040
you know, things are just not going to get better. It's just going to always be hard blending a

846
00:48:09.040 --> 00:48:15.760
family. No, I'm using excuses. All right. It doesn't have to be. All right. God, God can use it all.

847
00:48:16.640 --> 00:48:23.920
So when you confess that, I want you then to share with each other how you're going to stop

848
00:48:23.920 --> 00:48:31.760
allowing that to be an excuse. Okay. So we got the question. I'm going to go ahead and

849
00:48:31.760 --> 00:48:33.200
set up these breakout rooms.

850
00:48:36.960 --> 00:48:46.560
Let's see. All right. So I think it was Melissa, Candy and Chris are unable to mute. So if one of,

851
00:48:46.560 --> 00:48:51.600
if you are in there with one of them and there's nobody else, give me time and I will shift you to

852
00:48:51.600 --> 00:48:55.520
somebody else. But I'm going to go ahead and do it where there's two or three people in a group.

853
00:48:56.400 --> 00:48:58.800
All right. So go ahead and join those.

854
00:49:04.480 --> 00:49:12.880
Okay. Go ahead and join ladies, if you can. Oh, wait, I have to open all rooms. Sorry about that.

855
00:49:14.000 --> 00:49:16.080
All right. There's a couple of you that I do need to move.

856
00:49:26.400 --> 00:49:34.400
Okay.

857
00:49:41.440 --> 00:49:48.400
Hey, Chris, I know you can't do that, but if you could still step into the room,

858
00:49:48.400 --> 00:49:53.360
I have you and one other person that cannot join in a room together.

859
00:49:55.520 --> 00:49:56.580
Okay.

860
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:19.520
All right, we're back.

861
00:50:19.520 --> 00:50:20.520
Welcome back.

862
00:50:20.520 --> 00:50:21.840
So now we're going to go ahead and take questions.

863
00:50:21.840 --> 00:50:23.800
So I got four hands up.

864
00:50:23.800 --> 00:50:27.520
We're a little bit past that hour.

865
00:50:27.520 --> 00:50:32.600
So I see four hands up currently, so ladies, do me a favor, okay, because we want to be

866
00:50:32.600 --> 00:50:35.720
mindful of everybody's time, especially in the middle of the day, because I know a lot

867
00:50:35.720 --> 00:50:39.680
of you have work and things that you got to get done during the day.

868
00:50:39.680 --> 00:50:47.360
So I'm going to ask that you partner with me in keeping things short, brief, and powerful.

869
00:50:47.360 --> 00:50:52.400
And if you have more than one question, just give me your first question, and then let's

870
00:50:52.400 --> 00:50:55.480
get everybody through at least their one question.

871
00:50:55.480 --> 00:51:01.000
And then as time allows, I'll stay on and we can take additional questions.

872
00:51:01.000 --> 00:51:06.040
If you have more than one, just give me your first one and keep things short, brief, and

873
00:51:06.040 --> 00:51:07.040
powerful.

874
00:51:07.040 --> 00:51:08.320
Okay, so let's see.

875
00:51:08.320 --> 00:51:09.320
I got Judith.

876
00:51:09.320 --> 00:51:14.440
You are up first, then Sarah, then Nicole, and then we'll move to Kelly.

877
00:51:14.440 --> 00:51:15.440
Okay.

878
00:51:15.440 --> 00:51:20.520
So Judith, you said you wanted to share with us, are you in a dating situation, like what's

879
00:51:20.520 --> 00:51:21.520
going on?

880
00:51:21.640 --> 00:51:29.840
No, I know, but I mean, you know, because I've been coming and you've been, so here's

881
00:51:29.840 --> 00:51:30.840
the deal.

882
00:51:30.840 --> 00:51:37.080
No, I'm trying to get myself to, you know, get, I am moving towards, not trying to get

883
00:51:37.080 --> 00:51:40.640
myself, I'm moving towards completing a profile and putting it online.

884
00:51:40.640 --> 00:51:46.360
And I had a great talk in the group with Julie, who, you know, both, well, you know, I, anyway,

885
00:51:46.360 --> 00:51:50.280
I don't want to share with her stuff this, but you know, this whole idea of practice

886
00:51:50.280 --> 00:51:56.080
dating and I'd say nothing about online dating was not really, not at all what I believed

887
00:51:56.080 --> 00:51:58.840
about what God had for me.

888
00:51:58.840 --> 00:52:03.480
So I have just been, you know, joining it, but here's the thing that happened.

889
00:52:03.480 --> 00:52:07.560
So, you know, when I did all the things, meeting the, you know, getting out there and blah,

890
00:52:07.560 --> 00:52:08.560
blah, blah.

891
00:52:08.560 --> 00:52:11.480
So there's a new aquatic center that I've been going to, I love to swim.

892
00:52:11.480 --> 00:52:16.640
And last week there was a man in the, after the lap pool closed, there's a resistance

893
00:52:16.640 --> 00:52:20.760
walk and he was in there and, oh, and then there's a soaking pool outside of warm pool,

894
00:52:20.760 --> 00:52:22.720
kind of like a hot tub, but not quite.

895
00:52:22.720 --> 00:52:27.320
And it was a beautiful day and I was walking past and it's a huge hot tub.

896
00:52:27.320 --> 00:52:29.400
And I said, oh, there's a little bit of heaven, isn't it?

897
00:52:29.400 --> 00:52:31.400
And he said, yep, heaven on earth.

898
00:52:31.400 --> 00:52:32.880
And you know, I always do that kind of stuff.

899
00:52:32.880 --> 00:52:37.840
I talk to people, but then I was, I was by my car waiting because the kids were coming

900
00:52:37.840 --> 00:52:39.820
and I was going to meet my kids and grandkids.

901
00:52:39.820 --> 00:52:42.360
And he came out and I forget what he, how he started chatting.

902
00:52:42.360 --> 00:52:45.640
It was natural, but anyway, it was about, he was going to this.

903
00:52:45.640 --> 00:52:49.820
And I said, oh, wait, you're the man from Fernley from last week, right?

904
00:52:49.820 --> 00:52:53.000
And I thought last week, I thought, you know, I should have just introduced myself when

905
00:52:53.000 --> 00:52:57.040
we were in the resistance walk together, but it didn't occur to me.

906
00:52:57.040 --> 00:52:59.120
He just said, oh, he was down from Fernley.

907
00:52:59.120 --> 00:53:00.960
And he said, yeah, I'm the man from Fernley.

908
00:53:00.960 --> 00:53:04.640
Well, anyway, we just talked, it was natural.

909
00:53:04.640 --> 00:53:09.920
And he, he was talking to me about elephant garlic and then he said, and for me, those

910
00:53:09.920 --> 00:53:11.360
are Republican ears.

911
00:53:11.360 --> 00:53:16.520
And I said, oh, I said, well, I, I mean, that they'd be Republican ears for me too.

912
00:53:16.520 --> 00:53:22.080
And then we started talking about a proposition on the Nevada ballot and he said, hey, don't

913
00:53:22.080 --> 00:53:23.080
go anywhere.

914
00:53:23.080 --> 00:53:24.080
Seriously.

915
00:53:24.080 --> 00:53:25.080
I just want to go to my car and get you information.

916
00:53:25.080 --> 00:53:26.080
My truck's right there.

917
00:53:26.080 --> 00:53:27.080
And he did.

918
00:53:27.080 --> 00:53:28.080
And he came back.

919
00:53:28.080 --> 00:53:31.960
And by that time, my kids were starting to come, but you know, he was saying, yeah, he

920
00:53:31.960 --> 00:53:36.120
moved from California and he just couldn't, he, he belonged to a yacht club.

921
00:53:36.120 --> 00:53:37.120
He loved to sail.

922
00:53:37.120 --> 00:53:41.320
Now, you know, this guy swims, he, water is my thing.

923
00:53:41.320 --> 00:53:43.900
You know, you speak in my language when you talk water.

924
00:53:43.900 --> 00:53:48.040
And so we were talking and he said, no, I couldn't take the taxes and where my money

925
00:53:48.040 --> 00:53:49.040
was going.

926
00:53:49.040 --> 00:53:51.440
I know, no offense to anybody who lives in California.

927
00:53:51.440 --> 00:53:52.440
I get it.

928
00:53:52.440 --> 00:53:54.680
But I also understood what he was saying.

929
00:53:54.680 --> 00:53:57.360
And he said, so six years ago, I sold it all and moved to Fernley.

930
00:53:57.360 --> 00:54:01.160
That's about 45 minutes, an hour from where I live in Reno.

931
00:54:01.160 --> 00:54:03.440
And I said, okay, so have you ever kayaked?

932
00:54:03.440 --> 00:54:04.760
Because I love to kayak.

933
00:54:04.760 --> 00:54:06.920
And he said, no, I've never tried that.

934
00:54:06.920 --> 00:54:11.000
And he said, and I said, I'm sure you'd love it if you love to sail and you love to, because

935
00:54:11.680 --> 00:54:13.680
So tell me, did you, did you connect with him?

936
00:54:13.680 --> 00:54:15.560
No, here's what I got to know, what I should do.

937
00:54:15.560 --> 00:54:16.560
That's why I'm telling you this.

938
00:54:16.560 --> 00:54:17.560
I'm sorry.

939
00:54:17.560 --> 00:54:19.400
It took this to, and that was the short answer.

940
00:54:19.400 --> 00:54:26.520
So he left and he came back to my, he came back with his, you know, his, with the voting

941
00:54:26.520 --> 00:54:27.880
stuff in his card.

942
00:54:27.880 --> 00:54:32.720
It's a business card with his name and his email and his number.

943
00:54:32.720 --> 00:54:36.640
And that's when we, I think we started then talking about the kayak and he said, hey,

944
00:54:36.640 --> 00:54:38.080
well then why don't you take me?

945
00:54:38.080 --> 00:54:39.320
Why don't you take me?

946
00:54:39.640 --> 00:54:42.240
I said, well, we could rent kayaks on Lake Tahoe.

947
00:54:42.240 --> 00:54:43.520
And he said, yeah, can you believe it?

948
00:54:43.520 --> 00:54:44.600
I had not been to Tahoe.

949
00:54:44.600 --> 00:54:46.560
I'm like, how could you not have been to Tahoe?

950
00:54:46.560 --> 00:54:47.560
That's crazy.

951
00:54:47.560 --> 00:54:48.560
Okay.

952
00:54:48.560 --> 00:54:49.560
So I don't want to.

953
00:54:49.560 --> 00:54:50.560
Yeah.

954
00:54:50.560 --> 00:54:51.560
So tell me.

955
00:54:51.560 --> 00:54:52.560
What's your question?

956
00:54:52.560 --> 00:54:53.560
Okay.

957
00:54:53.560 --> 00:54:54.560
We got to get to your question.

958
00:54:54.560 --> 00:54:55.560
Okay.

959
00:54:55.560 --> 00:54:56.560
Well, the question is.

960
00:54:56.560 --> 00:54:57.560
I love hearing all this, but we do, we do have.

961
00:54:57.560 --> 00:54:58.560
Well, this is the question.

962
00:54:58.560 --> 00:54:59.560
We're there.

963
00:54:59.560 --> 00:55:00.560
We're there.

964
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.280
This is the question, you wouldn't know.

965
00:55:00.560 --> 00:55:01.560
What you got?

966
00:55:01.560 --> 00:55:02.560
No, that's.

967
00:55:02.280 --> 00:55:04.840
Well, maybe you would, I wouldn't know.

968
00:55:04.840 --> 00:55:07.920
So I have this number and I have this email

969
00:55:07.920 --> 00:55:12.920
and I would have to drive separately to Lake Tahoe

970
00:55:13.920 --> 00:55:16.480
and it's off season now.

971
00:55:16.480 --> 00:55:18.880
So I'm not sure, I mean, I don't have a kayak now.

972
00:55:18.880 --> 00:55:22.280
I had one back east, but we would have to rent kayaks.

973
00:55:22.280 --> 00:55:25.200
And I was thinking about calling back,

974
00:55:25.200 --> 00:55:27.240
but I need the, or emailing them,

975
00:55:27.240 --> 00:55:29.240
but I don't wanna do that from my email

976
00:55:29.240 --> 00:55:31.800
or from my phone number, I don't know how to do that.

977
00:55:31.800 --> 00:55:35.760
Okay, so set up a Google number.

978
00:55:35.760 --> 00:55:37.840
How do you, okay, I'll just set up.

979
00:55:37.840 --> 00:55:39.680
Yeah, just go on Google and then set up,

980
00:55:39.680 --> 00:55:42.480
like I've never set up a Google number,

981
00:55:42.480 --> 00:55:43.640
but I know it's fairly easy.

982
00:55:43.640 --> 00:55:45.640
I think my husband has done it before.

983
00:55:45.640 --> 00:55:47.480
I'll just do a video.

984
00:55:47.480 --> 00:55:48.640
Google how to set up a good,

985
00:55:48.640 --> 00:55:50.360
and it will walk you through the process.

986
00:55:50.360 --> 00:55:52.640
So I would say, set up a Google number.

987
00:55:52.640 --> 00:55:53.800
Okay.

988
00:55:53.800 --> 00:55:57.240
And give them a phone call and say, hey,

989
00:55:58.080 --> 00:55:59.560
I don't know if you remember me.

990
00:55:59.560 --> 00:56:00.400
I'm Judith.

991
00:56:00.400 --> 00:56:02.200
We met da, da, da, da, da.

992
00:56:02.200 --> 00:56:03.840
Keep it, you know, keep it brief and be like,

993
00:56:03.840 --> 00:56:05.880
I really, you know, I would really,

994
00:56:05.880 --> 00:56:09.240
I enjoyed having a chat with you.

995
00:56:09.240 --> 00:56:11.440
I would love for us to connect.

996
00:56:11.440 --> 00:56:15.280
Do you have any time free this week or say,

997
00:56:15.280 --> 00:56:17.120
are you free next Saturday?

998
00:56:17.120 --> 00:56:18.280
Are you free?

999
00:56:18.280 --> 00:56:21.240
You know, do you have, are you free anytime on the weekend?

1000
00:56:21.240 --> 00:56:23.360
Don't worry about the details right now.

1001
00:56:23.360 --> 00:56:25.640
Don't worry about what you guys are gonna go do.

1002
00:56:25.640 --> 00:56:28.440
Just initiate a contact and say,

1003
00:56:28.440 --> 00:56:31.560
I really enjoyed connecting with you.

1004
00:56:31.560 --> 00:56:35.000
Do you have any time to meet up at some point

1005
00:56:35.000 --> 00:56:37.480
in the next week or whatever works for you?

1006
00:56:37.480 --> 00:56:38.320
Okay.

1007
00:56:38.320 --> 00:56:39.160
Here's my, I don't know about that.

1008
00:56:39.160 --> 00:56:40.680
So again, the kayak thing.

1009
00:56:40.680 --> 00:56:44.120
So you're saying Lake Tahoe, like, is that,

1010
00:56:44.120 --> 00:56:45.400
how far is that from you?

1011
00:56:45.400 --> 00:56:46.720
Well, it's a little bit.

1012
00:56:46.720 --> 00:56:48.360
It's like an hour.

1013
00:56:48.360 --> 00:56:51.160
Is there anything local?

1014
00:56:51.160 --> 00:56:52.000
Okay.

1015
00:56:52.000 --> 00:56:53.800
So maybe it's not kayaking,

1016
00:56:53.800 --> 00:56:56.920
but maybe you guys can just go grab coffee.

1017
00:56:56.920 --> 00:56:59.040
Well, here's what I was gonna suggest to him

1018
00:56:59.040 --> 00:57:00.520
because I think the kayaking thing,

1019
00:57:00.520 --> 00:57:03.360
first of all, I don't want to take him kayaking.

1020
00:57:03.360 --> 00:57:05.040
It would be fine to go together,

1021
00:57:05.040 --> 00:57:06.960
but I don't want to do all the work for that.

1022
00:57:06.960 --> 00:57:09.840
You know, I mean, so what I was gonna suggest is,

1023
00:57:09.840 --> 00:57:10.680
hey-

1024
00:57:10.680 --> 00:57:11.520
Just drop the hanky.

1025
00:57:11.520 --> 00:57:13.240
You want to meet up with him.

1026
00:57:13.240 --> 00:57:15.080
Yeah, well, I was gonna say,

1027
00:57:15.080 --> 00:57:18.080
but about water, only not just to do anything.

1028
00:57:18.080 --> 00:57:19.360
I was gonna say, hey,

1029
00:57:19.360 --> 00:57:22.480
why don't we meet at Sand Harbor in Lake Tahoe,

1030
00:57:22.480 --> 00:57:24.160
which is the closest point,

1031
00:57:24.160 --> 00:57:26.280
and see what their rental situation is.

1032
00:57:26.280 --> 00:57:27.120
They have a place there.

1033
00:57:27.120 --> 00:57:28.880
You can also have lunch or coffee.

1034
00:57:28.880 --> 00:57:29.720
We can walk.

1035
00:57:29.720 --> 00:57:31.480
If you haven't been in Tahoe, you know,

1036
00:57:31.480 --> 00:57:33.640
it will give you a chance to see the lake.

1037
00:57:33.640 --> 00:57:34.920
How far is Tahoe again?

1038
00:57:34.920 --> 00:57:35.760
I'm sorry.

1039
00:57:35.760 --> 00:57:36.600
I think you answered that.

1040
00:57:36.600 --> 00:57:40.680
No, it's maybe 50 minutes to Sand Harbor.

1041
00:57:40.680 --> 00:57:41.520
Okay.

1042
00:57:41.520 --> 00:57:42.520
Yeah, it's a distance.

1043
00:57:42.520 --> 00:57:45.040
It's not, I mean, he was the one who suggested Tahoe.

1044
00:57:45.040 --> 00:57:46.560
I mean, he was good with Tahoe,

1045
00:57:46.560 --> 00:57:47.400
so I don't feel fine.

1046
00:57:47.400 --> 00:57:48.240
Here's the thing.

1047
00:57:48.240 --> 00:57:49.960
I think you can just throw some things out there,

1048
00:57:49.960 --> 00:57:51.800
but let him lead.

1049
00:57:51.800 --> 00:57:56.800
Let him lead to what, like,

1050
00:57:57.080 --> 00:58:00.360
just say, hey, I would like to get together with you.

1051
00:58:00.360 --> 00:58:03.760
That's it, and let him initiate

1052
00:58:03.760 --> 00:58:05.240
or throw some suggestions out.

1053
00:58:05.240 --> 00:58:07.520
Let him reciprocate, okay?

1054
00:58:07.520 --> 00:58:09.240
You don't have to go and plan.

1055
00:58:09.240 --> 00:58:10.200
You don't have to go plan out.

1056
00:58:10.200 --> 00:58:12.120
You don't have to plan the date.

1057
00:58:12.120 --> 00:58:13.560
You just, right now,

1058
00:58:13.560 --> 00:58:18.560
what you need to focus on is making contact with him,

1059
00:58:18.840 --> 00:58:21.640
drop the hanky, express to him

1060
00:58:21.640 --> 00:58:25.200
that you enjoyed the conversation that y'all had,

1061
00:58:25.200 --> 00:58:27.640
and you would like to get together in person.

1062
00:58:29.280 --> 00:58:30.120
Okay.

1063
00:58:30.120 --> 00:58:32.240
And then see what he comes up with.

1064
00:58:33.240 --> 00:58:34.200
Okay, that's good.

1065
00:58:34.200 --> 00:58:35.760
That's what I needed help with.

1066
00:58:36.880 --> 00:58:38.360
We got you.

1067
00:58:38.360 --> 00:58:40.040
And that's why I had to give the background,

1068
00:58:40.040 --> 00:58:43.360
because it wasn't like just, hey, you want to get together?

1069
00:58:43.360 --> 00:58:46.120
He was, you know, but that was his entry point.

1070
00:58:46.120 --> 00:58:46.960
Well, because here's the thing.

1071
00:58:47.200 --> 00:58:50.040
You don't have to go kayaking on a first date,

1072
00:58:50.040 --> 00:58:51.400
but if things progress

1073
00:58:51.400 --> 00:58:53.480
and you're enjoying each other's company,

1074
00:58:53.480 --> 00:58:56.240
it can be a third, fourth date down the road.

1075
00:58:56.240 --> 00:58:58.080
It could be something that,

1076
00:58:58.080 --> 00:59:01.440
you know that the two of you have something in common.

1077
00:59:01.440 --> 00:59:02.280
Yes.

1078
00:59:02.280 --> 00:59:03.160
You both enjoy that.

1079
00:59:03.160 --> 00:59:04.800
That's what we're looking for.

1080
00:59:04.800 --> 00:59:06.720
Ladies, you want to make connections.

1081
00:59:06.720 --> 00:59:09.680
You want to see what things do you have in common

1082
00:59:09.680 --> 00:59:12.800
with someone that you can enjoy, okay?

1083
00:59:12.800 --> 00:59:14.240
Doesn't mean that you have to go run

1084
00:59:14.240 --> 00:59:15.960
and do those things super quick,

1085
00:59:15.960 --> 00:59:18.000
but you're getting to know each other.

1086
00:59:18.000 --> 00:59:19.520
This is that discovery dating.

1087
00:59:19.520 --> 00:59:23.520
So that's that level two, getting to know each other.

1088
00:59:23.520 --> 00:59:26.080
You're going to have two or three dates of just, you know,

1089
00:59:26.080 --> 00:59:29.800
keeping things, you know, simple, all right?

1090
00:59:29.800 --> 00:59:31.720
Yeah, if we have that.

1091
00:59:31.720 --> 00:59:32.560
I don't know.

1092
00:59:32.560 --> 00:59:34.080
I mean, I don't know if he's married.

1093
00:59:34.080 --> 00:59:35.440
I mean, he's got a ring

1094
00:59:35.440 --> 00:59:37.760
and he didn't talk like he was married.

1095
00:59:37.760 --> 00:59:40.880
We're not going to spiral into the all the what ifs.

1096
00:59:40.880 --> 00:59:41.720
I don't know.

1097
00:59:41.720 --> 00:59:42.960
We don't need to do that, okay?

1098
00:59:42.960 --> 00:59:43.800
Okay.

1099
00:59:44.000 --> 00:59:46.200
I think for me, it's safe for me not to,

1100
00:59:46.200 --> 00:59:49.280
I didn't know if like, I really need confirmation

1101
00:59:49.280 --> 00:59:51.560
that he's not married before we meet, but.

1102
00:59:51.560 --> 00:59:52.840
Oh, here's the thing.

1103
00:59:52.840 --> 00:59:54.960
Okay, ladies, this is a good question.

1104
00:59:54.960 --> 00:59:57.800
So, you know, you're not sure

1105
00:59:57.800 --> 01:00:00.000
you're having a conversation with someone.

1106
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:07.520
drop the hanky, guess what? If he's, if he's married, guess what? He's going to tell you.

1107
01:00:07.520 --> 01:00:17.320
All right. Yeah. Okay. But let's again, they like, you can't sit here and go play detective.

1108
01:00:17.320 --> 01:00:24.240
You have to trust that you are God protected. God's got you. All right. And that's why it's

1109
01:00:24.240 --> 01:00:29.920
low stakes dating at this point. Okay. We don't have to, we don't have to project all

1110
01:00:29.920 --> 01:00:35.360
these things in the future. It's low stakes. You're dropping the hanky. Let's just see

1111
01:00:35.360 --> 01:00:40.360
if he picks it up. Ladies. Most men are not going to pick it up. Okay. And here's the

1112
01:00:40.360 --> 01:00:44.880
thing. If a man picks it up and he's a married man, God's going to defend you. God's going

1113
01:00:44.880 --> 01:00:48.000
to protect you. He's going to let you know what you need to know when you need to know

1114
01:00:48.000 --> 01:00:53.040
it. Trust that. That's good. Okay. Yeah. I just want to make sure I'm going to move on

1115
01:00:53.120 --> 01:00:58.080
to Sarah so we can get, get through the next, the next couple of ladies. Okay. Sarah,

1116
01:00:58.080 --> 01:01:02.720
do you have an update for us? How are things going with yourself? Is it South African man?

1117
01:01:02.720 --> 01:01:08.880
Yeah. South African man. His name's going, his name's Alyssa. I'm so, so grateful that you

1118
01:01:08.880 --> 01:01:13.520
like encouraged me to have the conversation to like, Hey, where's this going? Like,

1119
01:01:13.520 --> 01:01:16.720
if you're going to claim me, you better claim me like, you know, that sort of thing.

1120
01:01:17.920 --> 01:01:22.080
And here's the thing, ladies. So I want to preface like, we don't typically ask the women

1121
01:01:22.080 --> 01:01:27.760
to have that conversation. But for those of you that were not here last week or didn't watch it

1122
01:01:27.760 --> 01:01:32.560
in replay, Sarah's situation was a little bit different. There was some things that happened.

1123
01:01:32.560 --> 01:01:39.520
Okay. So that's why I encouraged her that, you know, some things happen. So now like it would

1124
01:01:39.520 --> 01:01:44.960
give you the green light to be able to have that conversation. So I just want to make that clear.

1125
01:01:44.960 --> 01:01:51.920
Because we do ask you ladies to let the man initiate that level three conversation. Okay.

1126
01:01:52.560 --> 01:01:56.720
So, okay. So I'm glad. So you, you did that. How did that go?

1127
01:01:57.360 --> 01:02:01.520
So in, in this particular situation, it was kind of a two part thing. So Thursday,

1128
01:02:02.080 --> 01:02:07.040
he was kind of cold feet. We only had limited time to talk because it was like on my lunch break.

1129
01:02:07.920 --> 01:02:13.520
He came to visit me at work, but we ran out of time. But he, I could tell that he was like

1130
01:02:13.520 --> 01:02:18.480
one foot in the door, one foot out the door and like sabotaging based on fear of the future.

1131
01:02:19.200 --> 01:02:24.800
And also kind of like waiting on a sign from God in a way. And I'm like, sometimes you just gotta

1132
01:02:24.800 --> 01:02:28.480
like move forward and like trust that God's gonna stop you if it's, you know, if it needs to be

1133
01:02:28.480 --> 01:02:36.000
stopped. So the next day, I had a dream that evening, that I was in South Africa with a

1134
01:02:36.000 --> 01:02:41.200
missionary group, and he was leading the group. And he talked about taking a car up into the

1135
01:02:41.200 --> 01:02:46.240
mountains. He's like, we're all going to drive six hours up into the mountains. And so I shared

1136
01:02:46.240 --> 01:02:50.960
that dream with him that like, in my dream, which, you know, he, he's very much into like,

1137
01:02:50.960 --> 01:02:56.960
dream language and things like that. In my dream, I was in South Africa, and he was there leading

1138
01:02:56.960 --> 01:03:02.400
this trip. And so he felt like that was enough confirmation from the Lord to like, okay, let's,

1139
01:03:02.400 --> 01:03:07.280
let's move forward. And so he asked me to be his girlfriend. And now he's using language like,

1140
01:03:07.280 --> 01:03:12.640
oh, you're mine. Like, it's like, so exciting. And so it's just I also needed to call him out

1141
01:03:12.640 --> 01:03:20.320
for the like, hey, could you be maybe sabotaging this because some fear about like, I don't know

1142
01:03:20.320 --> 01:03:25.520
about when whether I'm going to live in South Africa or in the US or both. And like, you know,

1143
01:03:25.520 --> 01:03:29.920
so it's like, it's really a leap of faith for both of us. But the timing.

1144
01:03:29.920 --> 01:03:34.320
And that's and ladies, and as you come into those relationships with, you know, people like,

1145
01:03:34.800 --> 01:03:41.120
um, you know, obviously, we're hopeful and expectant that this could be spirit mate potential,

1146
01:03:41.120 --> 01:03:48.000
but we also hold things loosely, knowing that God's in control. And that God's the he's, he's,

1147
01:03:48.000 --> 01:03:54.800
he knows what's ahead. Okay. And so it's, again, it's, it's that faith of trusting that, you know,

1148
01:03:54.800 --> 01:03:59.040
you are stepping in the season, and God has a purpose and plan for that. We don't know what

1149
01:03:59.040 --> 01:04:05.280
it's going to be. But we know that God is good. And so that is, I'm super excited. I can't wait

1150
01:04:05.280 --> 01:04:11.040
to continue to keep hearing more and more. But I think that's, that's really beautiful. I'm so

1151
01:04:11.040 --> 01:04:18.880
glad that worked out. And I love that, you know, you're practicing, I'm practicing having some of

1152
01:04:18.880 --> 01:04:24.800
those tough conversations. And because ladies, I will tell you one of the things you know,

1153
01:04:24.800 --> 01:04:29.680
what were something that you said, Sarah reminded me of the situation that I was in with my,

1154
01:04:30.320 --> 01:04:35.920
my husband. And when we were getting together, you know, we had the conversation about having

1155
01:04:35.920 --> 01:04:40.800
more kids. And I always thought I was going to have my another baby and he was, you know, no.

1156
01:04:40.800 --> 01:04:46.720
And so I shared with him my heart. And one thing that I loved about him that I fell for and that,

1157
01:04:46.720 --> 01:04:51.280
you know, like, just again, it just, you know, I was attracted to is that he told me

1158
01:04:51.840 --> 01:04:54.640
what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear.

1159
01:04:55.760 --> 01:04:59.920
And that's important, ladies, as you are stepping into relationships and you're getting

1160
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.460
to know men, you're looking for those three N's.

1161
01:05:03.460 --> 01:05:04.360
Are they masculine?

1162
01:05:04.360 --> 01:05:05.200
Are they mature?

1163
01:05:05.200 --> 01:05:06.620
And are they marriage minded?

1164
01:05:06.620 --> 01:05:10.980
And one of those things is, are they mature?

1165
01:05:10.980 --> 01:05:14.180
Are they gonna be good for you?

1166
01:05:14.180 --> 01:05:18.620
Are they going to grow you and help you grow

1167
01:05:18.620 --> 01:05:20.660
and into a deeper relationship with God?

1168
01:05:20.660 --> 01:05:24.340
And I took that conversation, was able to go to the Lord

1169
01:05:24.340 --> 01:05:26.660
and the Lord then confirmed things

1170
01:05:26.660 --> 01:05:28.420
and showed me things and spoke to me.

1171
01:05:28.460 --> 01:05:30.700
So I love that you were willing

1172
01:05:30.700 --> 01:05:33.420
to have the tough conversation with him.

1173
01:05:33.420 --> 01:05:37.780
And as you step into this season and level three,

1174
01:05:37.780 --> 01:05:41.360
you're gonna get into more deeper conversations and things

1175
01:05:41.360 --> 01:05:45.800
and we're here to support you as you move into phase three.

1176
01:05:45.800 --> 01:05:50.100
So lots of great resources here at Last Year Single.

1177
01:05:50.100 --> 01:05:53.940
And I look forward to watching your journey unfold.

1178
01:05:53.940 --> 01:05:56.660
So thank you so much for sharing that with us, Sarah.

1179
01:05:56.700 --> 01:05:57.660
Yes, absolutely.

1180
01:05:57.660 --> 01:05:59.660
And thank you for your encouragement.

1181
01:05:59.660 --> 01:06:02.340
This community has been super pivotal

1182
01:06:02.340 --> 01:06:05.180
in even leading up to meeting this guy

1183
01:06:05.180 --> 01:06:07.860
and just aligning my heart where it needs to be.

1184
01:06:07.860 --> 01:06:12.660
So I'm excited about the future and continuing to benefit

1185
01:06:12.660 --> 01:06:14.220
from the resources in this community.

1186
01:06:14.220 --> 01:06:16.220
So super grateful.

1187
01:06:16.220 --> 01:06:17.980
Thank you.

1188
01:06:17.980 --> 01:06:19.820
I'm so happy for you.

1189
01:06:19.820 --> 01:06:23.260
All right, Nicole, you're up next.

1190
01:06:23.260 --> 01:06:25.060
I actually just had a question.

1191
01:06:26.020 --> 01:06:28.780
How do you, are there signs,

1192
01:06:28.780 --> 01:06:32.020
like if you have commitment issues

1193
01:06:32.020 --> 01:06:34.260
or if there's a fear of commitment there,

1194
01:06:34.260 --> 01:06:38.140
are there signs of that that we can pick up on in others

1195
01:06:38.140 --> 01:06:41.340
and in our own self if those exist?

1196
01:06:41.340 --> 01:06:43.460
So what are you experiencing?

1197
01:06:43.460 --> 01:06:48.020
So let me know what's coming up.

1198
01:06:48.020 --> 01:06:50.660
So I'm guessing this question is coming from,

1199
01:06:50.660 --> 01:06:53.540
are you having some concerns

1200
01:06:53.540 --> 01:06:55.420
that you might have a commitment?

1201
01:06:55.420 --> 01:06:57.140
Well, this is gonna sound silly.

1202
01:06:57.140 --> 01:06:58.340
It has nothing to do with dating,

1203
01:06:58.340 --> 01:07:00.980
but I have been thinking about getting a dog

1204
01:07:00.980 --> 01:07:04.580
for a very long time, but I'm also very practical.

1205
01:07:04.580 --> 01:07:05.820
Just, I travel.

1206
01:07:05.820 --> 01:07:08.940
So it's like paying for somebody to watch the dog,

1207
01:07:08.940 --> 01:07:09.780
this, that, and the other.

1208
01:07:09.780 --> 01:07:12.860
Long story short, I wanna wait till I'm married

1209
01:07:12.860 --> 01:07:14.900
just because I wanna share that responsibility

1210
01:07:14.900 --> 01:07:18.740
with someone I don't really want that weight to be on me

1211
01:07:18.740 --> 01:07:19.740
to get an animal.

1212
01:07:19.740 --> 01:07:22.820
And I had this thought several times.

1213
01:07:23.420 --> 01:07:26.420
Does this mean I have commitment fear or something like that?

1214
01:07:26.420 --> 01:07:30.180
I can't commit to even a dog for 10, 15 years,

1215
01:07:30.180 --> 01:07:32.540
which I don't feel like I have that,

1216
01:07:32.540 --> 01:07:34.340
but I was like, is this a sign?

1217
01:07:34.340 --> 01:07:35.180
I don't know.

1218
01:07:35.180 --> 01:07:36.620
I just told you what I'm asking.

1219
01:07:36.620 --> 01:07:39.380
Is this a theme that runs in your life?

1220
01:07:39.380 --> 01:07:42.260
Is this consistently something that comes up?

1221
01:07:42.260 --> 01:07:44.740
Is this the only occurrence that you have

1222
01:07:44.740 --> 01:07:46.500
or do you see a trend happening?

1223
01:07:46.500 --> 01:07:49.900
To me, I see if you really did,

1224
01:07:49.900 --> 01:07:51.940
it would show up several different times

1225
01:07:51.940 --> 01:07:53.500
in several different ways.

1226
01:07:53.500 --> 01:07:56.700
So for, I mean, when I hear you talk about a dog,

1227
01:07:56.700 --> 01:07:57.660
like, let's be real.

1228
01:07:57.660 --> 01:08:00.180
Having an animal is a huge commitment

1229
01:08:00.180 --> 01:08:01.740
and it takes a lot of time.

1230
01:08:01.740 --> 01:08:03.100
Like I'm one of those people.

1231
01:08:03.100 --> 01:08:05.380
I love, I love dogs.

1232
01:08:05.380 --> 01:08:08.060
I am not in a position or a place

1233
01:08:08.060 --> 01:08:10.020
to take on that responsibility.

1234
01:08:10.020 --> 01:08:12.140
And I've even seen people that do,

1235
01:08:12.140 --> 01:08:14.980
they love dogs so much that they get these dogs

1236
01:08:14.980 --> 01:08:17.500
and they really are not able to be responsible

1237
01:08:17.500 --> 01:08:18.979
with that dog and then my heart breaks.

1238
01:08:18.979 --> 01:08:21.020
And I'm like, oh, why would you get a dog

1239
01:08:21.020 --> 01:08:23.500
if you really can't have that responsibility?

1240
01:08:23.500 --> 01:08:25.740
So sometimes like, I've seen nothing,

1241
01:08:25.740 --> 01:08:29.100
for me, I see nothing wrong with choosing to wait

1242
01:08:29.100 --> 01:08:31.460
because it is a responsibility.

1243
01:08:31.460 --> 01:08:34.899
Like, I almost didn't want to date my husband

1244
01:08:34.899 --> 01:08:35.740
cause he had a cat.

1245
01:08:35.740 --> 01:08:40.660
Cause I'm like, and I still struggle in my home,

1246
01:08:40.660 --> 01:08:42.700
married, with my kids.

1247
01:08:42.700 --> 01:08:45.740
That cat is the vein of my, vein of my existence.

1248
01:08:45.740 --> 01:08:47.819
Like I can't stand that thing

1249
01:08:47.819 --> 01:08:49.899
because it is a huge responsibility.

1250
01:08:49.939 --> 01:08:52.420
And then I have to get on the kids

1251
01:08:52.420 --> 01:08:54.100
because it's the kid's responsibility,

1252
01:08:54.100 --> 01:08:55.700
but then I'm responsible for the kids.

1253
01:08:55.700 --> 01:09:00.700
So I would say if you find that you are in a trend

1254
01:09:01.779 --> 01:09:04.660
where you're constantly not doing something

1255
01:09:04.660 --> 01:09:09.660
because you're afraid to have to stretch yourself

1256
01:09:09.779 --> 01:09:11.420
all the time.

1257
01:09:11.420 --> 01:09:13.939
So I would just take time with the Lord

1258
01:09:13.939 --> 01:09:18.100
and ask him to reveal to you if this is in fact

1259
01:09:18.100 --> 01:09:20.740
something that you need to work through.

1260
01:09:20.740 --> 01:09:23.580
I would even be curious to ask,

1261
01:09:23.580 --> 01:09:28.380
have you asked him to show you ways that you are committed?

1262
01:09:28.380 --> 01:09:29.220
What's that?

1263
01:09:29.220 --> 01:09:30.300
I feel like you just answered it.

1264
01:09:30.300 --> 01:09:31.979
Like, it's definitely not that.

1265
01:09:31.979 --> 01:09:33.580
I think I read way too much into it

1266
01:09:33.580 --> 01:09:34.979
cause I'm loyal as a dog.

1267
01:09:34.979 --> 01:09:38.540
And like, I'm like all about like long relationships,

1268
01:09:38.540 --> 01:09:39.819
friendships, things like that.

1269
01:09:39.819 --> 01:09:43.020
So I think that I will definitely go to the Lord,

1270
01:09:43.020 --> 01:09:44.220
but I think you just-

1271
01:09:44.220 --> 01:09:45.060
Okay.

1272
01:09:45.060 --> 01:09:46.180
That for me, I don't get it.

1273
01:09:46.220 --> 01:09:49.300
I'm getting a sense that I don't, I mean, again,

1274
01:09:49.300 --> 01:09:51.260
I think I have a very discerning spirit,

1275
01:09:51.260 --> 01:09:53.540
but at the same time, I'm not always right.

1276
01:09:53.540 --> 01:09:57.420
So it's why I always want you ladies to always,

1277
01:09:57.420 --> 01:09:59.700
of course, as coaches are here to,

1278
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:01.760
give our feedback and our input,

1279
01:10:01.760 --> 01:10:04.540
but it's still always important for you all

1280
01:10:04.540 --> 01:10:07.640
to still take that, what we coach,

1281
01:10:07.640 --> 01:10:10.040
what we advise to take it to the Lord.

1282
01:10:10.040 --> 01:10:14.920
So I get a discerning feeling that it's not that at all,

1283
01:10:14.920 --> 01:10:18.080
that if it was, it would show up more frequently,

1284
01:10:18.080 --> 01:10:21.360
and I would be safe to say that you probably have

1285
01:10:21.360 --> 01:10:24.320
a lot of areas where you are fully committed,

1286
01:10:24.320 --> 01:10:27.160
and God will start showing that to you.

1287
01:10:27.160 --> 01:10:29.480
Just to confirm, okay?

1288
01:10:29.560 --> 01:10:31.840
Thank you so much, Nicole.

1289
01:10:31.840 --> 01:10:33.280
All right, I've got Kelly,

1290
01:10:33.280 --> 01:10:35.880
and if anybody else still has a question,

1291
01:10:35.880 --> 01:10:38.280
feel free to put your avatar hand up.

1292
01:10:38.280 --> 01:10:39.120
We'll come to you.

1293
01:10:39.120 --> 01:10:41.720
If not, we'll finish up with Kelly,

1294
01:10:41.720 --> 01:10:43.840
and then I'll give you a little thing of activation

1295
01:10:43.840 --> 01:10:45.680
as something to go do this week,

1296
01:10:45.680 --> 01:10:47.400
and then we'll close in prayer.

1297
01:10:47.400 --> 01:10:49.640
But Kelly, how are you?

1298
01:10:49.640 --> 01:10:50.740
Good to see you.

1299
01:10:51.920 --> 01:10:56.920
So I think, yeah, I'm not sure how to say it.

1300
01:10:57.760 --> 01:11:02.400
So the baseball guy, I still have not come out with him

1301
01:11:02.400 --> 01:11:04.680
because I just had so many things come up

1302
01:11:04.680 --> 01:11:05.960
where it was like a sudden trip.

1303
01:11:05.960 --> 01:11:09.840
I had to go visit family and just different things like that.

1304
01:11:09.840 --> 01:11:12.840
And so I do have a lot of fears.

1305
01:11:12.840 --> 01:11:14.120
I've never been in a relationship.

1306
01:11:14.120 --> 01:11:18.700
I have dated, but not serious or anything.

1307
01:11:18.700 --> 01:11:21.220
I just, with work stuff and different things,

1308
01:11:21.220 --> 01:11:24.120
I've been hurt so much as a missionary and stuff like that.

1309
01:11:24.120 --> 01:11:26.420
So I just have a lot of fear.

1310
01:11:27.100 --> 01:11:31.860
I just need to know how to still message him

1311
01:11:31.860 --> 01:11:35.540
and say, can we get together and not, I don't know.

1312
01:11:36.660 --> 01:11:38.620
What's the relationship look like right now

1313
01:11:38.620 --> 01:11:40.460
with the two of you?

1314
01:11:40.460 --> 01:11:41.580
Are you still connecting?

1315
01:11:41.580 --> 01:11:43.900
Is there still reciprocation happening?

1316
01:11:43.900 --> 01:11:46.040
Is he reaching out to you and you reciprocating,

1317
01:11:46.040 --> 01:11:48.700
and then he's reciprocating off of you?

1318
01:11:48.700 --> 01:11:53.700
It was, and then in August, I had to go out of town again.

1319
01:11:54.020 --> 01:11:55.300
And then my mom was like,

1320
01:11:55.300 --> 01:11:56.860
oh, and now we have to go here

1321
01:11:56.860 --> 01:11:58.900
because we have a family thing.

1322
01:11:58.900 --> 01:12:01.860
It was, I had to help my mom with something.

1323
01:12:01.860 --> 01:12:05.140
So yeah, so I did tell him I would-

1324
01:12:05.140 --> 01:12:06.980
How's he responding to that?

1325
01:12:08.420 --> 01:12:09.340
He was fine.

1326
01:12:09.340 --> 01:12:12.020
Okay, I think that's good.

1327
01:12:12.020 --> 01:12:12.980
All right.

1328
01:12:12.980 --> 01:12:16.940
I mean, that shows that he's patient.

1329
01:12:18.540 --> 01:12:19.380
Yeah.

1330
01:12:19.380 --> 01:12:20.220
That's what I'm sensing is that,

1331
01:12:20.220 --> 01:12:25.020
he's patient, he's gonna allow you the time, okay?

1332
01:12:25.780 --> 01:12:28.220
But like you said, if you're feeling some fears,

1333
01:12:28.220 --> 01:12:32.580
so are you gonna let that fear grip you

1334
01:12:32.580 --> 01:12:35.820
and get ahold of you and keep you from the promises

1335
01:12:35.820 --> 01:12:37.900
that God has for you?

1336
01:12:37.900 --> 01:12:40.700
Or do you want to step out in faith?

1337
01:12:40.700 --> 01:12:43.260
And yes, I see you shaking your head.

1338
01:12:44.700 --> 01:12:47.380
Because that's also a lot to do with like ministry

1339
01:12:47.380 --> 01:12:49.260
and like finding another organization

1340
01:12:49.260 --> 01:12:52.060
and so much fear from being hurt from my last organization

1341
01:12:52.060 --> 01:12:53.460
in the school that I was at.

1342
01:12:53.700 --> 01:12:54.700
Yeah.

1343
01:12:54.700 --> 01:12:57.220
So I am meeting with a therapist now

1344
01:12:57.220 --> 01:12:58.660
who has been a missionary

1345
01:12:58.660 --> 01:13:00.420
and it's really helpful to talk with people

1346
01:13:00.420 --> 01:13:02.980
that have been in your shoes a little bit.

1347
01:13:02.980 --> 01:13:05.540
And she did agree with some other people

1348
01:13:05.540 --> 01:13:07.540
that I've talked to that I just need a time

1349
01:13:07.540 --> 01:13:11.100
of like not working and just healing.

1350
01:13:11.100 --> 01:13:13.180
Yeah, absolutely.

1351
01:13:13.180 --> 01:13:16.220
And then you have heart work tools too.

1352
01:13:16.220 --> 01:13:18.820
So again, these are always like,

1353
01:13:18.820 --> 01:13:21.220
again, it's so important, ladies,

1354
01:13:21.220 --> 01:13:25.860
of just having that deeper intimacy with the Lord.

1355
01:13:25.860 --> 01:13:28.220
That's kind of why I really thought it was important

1356
01:13:28.220 --> 01:13:30.540
to share with y'all about the soil

1357
01:13:30.540 --> 01:13:32.380
and the hard times and the struggles

1358
01:13:32.380 --> 01:13:35.020
and how important it is to really like,

1359
01:13:36.060 --> 01:13:40.140
at the end of the day, it's getting our nutrients,

1360
01:13:40.140 --> 01:13:43.500
our fill from the Lord.

1361
01:13:43.500 --> 01:13:45.580
I mean, He's our source.

1362
01:13:45.580 --> 01:13:48.300
And so when we're drawing deeper to Him

1363
01:13:48.300 --> 01:13:50.780
and then that fruit can come from that.

1364
01:13:51.620 --> 01:13:55.740
And so, ladies, this season of singleness

1365
01:13:55.740 --> 01:13:57.540
and dating and all that kind of stuff,

1366
01:13:57.540 --> 01:14:00.460
it will have its challenges, okay?

1367
01:14:00.460 --> 01:14:01.300
It really will.

1368
01:14:01.300 --> 01:14:04.060
There's a refining that takes place.

1369
01:14:04.980 --> 01:14:06.740
And I say that knowing,

1370
01:14:06.740 --> 01:14:10.380
I say that having experienced it myself

1371
01:14:11.420 --> 01:14:13.100
and it's all good things.

1372
01:14:13.100 --> 01:14:16.460
And you have a community here that's here to support you

1373
01:14:16.460 --> 01:14:19.580
and to stand and partner with you and celebrate with you.

1374
01:14:19.580 --> 01:14:22.100
And we're your shoulders to cry on.

1375
01:14:22.100 --> 01:14:24.140
We're here for you to be vulnerable

1376
01:14:24.140 --> 01:14:27.580
and really express like what you're going through.

1377
01:14:27.580 --> 01:14:30.020
And when you're able to do that,

1378
01:14:30.020 --> 01:14:32.700
God really can use it for some really amazing things

1379
01:14:32.700 --> 01:14:34.860
and a lot of healing can take place.

1380
01:14:34.860 --> 01:14:39.860
So are you contemplating on just not continuing

1381
01:14:44.580 --> 01:14:47.420
to connect with Him and meet up?

1382
01:14:47.420 --> 01:14:50.340
Like what are you, what's your thoughts on that?

1383
01:14:52.020 --> 01:14:54.140
I think I would try at least one date

1384
01:14:54.140 --> 01:14:57.540
and then see how it goes and then, yeah.

1385
01:14:57.540 --> 01:14:58.780
Yes, I think that's good.

1386
01:14:58.780 --> 01:14:59.980
Ladies, all you.

1387
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.200
can do is just one foot in front of the other. All right. We

1388
01:15:04.200 --> 01:15:07.200
don't have to project we don't have to think about the what is

1389
01:15:07.200 --> 01:15:10.640
like, okay, I'm going to go on this date. What what if we're

1390
01:15:10.640 --> 01:15:16.120
not going there? It's what can you do today to move you closer

1391
01:15:16.120 --> 01:15:20.440
to that promise? Okay. And I think it's really important for,

1392
01:15:21.040 --> 01:15:25.320
you know, me to share and for you ladies to hear is, you know,

1393
01:15:25.320 --> 01:15:29.000
this dating process, sometimes it doesn't look like it's the

1394
01:15:29.000 --> 01:15:32.600
first guy out the gate that you step into phase two and go on a

1395
01:15:32.600 --> 01:15:37.560
date with, you know, I know, we want to hear that. I know, we

1396
01:15:37.560 --> 01:15:39.560
want to be like, yeah, the first guy I went on a date with, he's

1397
01:15:39.560 --> 01:15:43.320
my spirit mate. You know, I wish that would have happened to me,

1398
01:15:43.320 --> 01:15:45.960
but it didn't, you know, and it's not saying that it won't

1399
01:15:45.960 --> 01:15:48.400
because it does happen to some of the women in this community.

1400
01:15:50.320 --> 01:15:54.880
It really truly is it's a process and, and as you as you

1401
01:15:54.880 --> 01:15:59.040
walk through it, you're going to get strength and courage and

1402
01:15:59.680 --> 01:16:04.480
overcome things you're going to heal, you're going to grow. And

1403
01:16:04.480 --> 01:16:08.440
that just and that doesn't just happen in your single life. It

1404
01:16:08.440 --> 01:16:13.080
will happen into marriage. Like I'm still continuing to grow

1405
01:16:13.080 --> 01:16:17.400
God is still revealing some things in me and healing things

1406
01:16:17.400 --> 01:16:22.040
in me currently that you know, it wouldn't have happened until

1407
01:16:22.040 --> 01:16:27.040
I stepped into the season. All right. So I I'm, I'm proud of

1408
01:16:27.040 --> 01:16:33.640
you for, you know, being vulnerable and sharing and just

1409
01:16:33.640 --> 01:16:37.920
recognizing some areas of where the hurt came from and you're

1410
01:16:37.920 --> 01:16:41.240
working through it. And you know, you're, you're getting

1411
01:16:41.240 --> 01:16:45.800
wisdom, ladies, that's so important, you know, is, you

1412
01:16:45.800 --> 01:16:49.680
know, seeking wisdom. And so it sounds like that's what you're

1413
01:16:49.680 --> 01:16:53.280
doing, Kelly. And so just keep doing that. Keep coming here,

1414
01:16:53.280 --> 01:16:56.920
keep showing up, get to those prayer calls, come to these

1415
01:16:56.920 --> 01:17:02.160
lives, watch your content, pray, ask Holy Spirit to reveal to you

1416
01:17:02.160 --> 01:17:06.560
what's being highlighted. And it's, it's a good journey, I

1417
01:17:06.560 --> 01:17:11.680
promise. All right. Okay, ladies, I don't see any other

1418
01:17:11.680 --> 01:17:16.560
hands. Anybody have any last minute things that you want to

1419
01:17:16.560 --> 01:17:23.160
share? All right. No. I want to hear something. Natalia, what's

1420
01:17:23.160 --> 01:17:27.720
up? Um, I don't know. It's kind of like, no questions, just

1421
01:17:27.720 --> 01:17:32.680
celebration, I guess. Love those. Just like, um, I don't

1422
01:17:32.680 --> 01:17:40.160
know. The last week God has been resurfacing online dating. And I

1423
01:17:40.160 --> 01:17:44.280
think in the last couple of days, one of the nights in the

1424
01:17:44.280 --> 01:17:47.840
last few days, he was showing me that he has tools. And I'm

1425
01:17:47.840 --> 01:17:50.480
like, God, okay, what are your tools, you know? And I'm

1426
01:17:50.480 --> 01:17:52.840
thinking, like, you know, I'm trying to look for a job right

1427
01:17:52.840 --> 01:17:54.880
now. So I'm like, okay, what are your tools? I need your tools,

1428
01:17:54.880 --> 01:18:00.480
because I need a job. Right. And so I, but he's just been

1429
01:18:00.480 --> 01:18:03.920
silent. He did. All he says is tools. And I'm like, okay, God,

1430
01:18:03.920 --> 01:18:07.680
you know what, whenever you want to explain that to me? Sure. So

1431
01:18:07.680 --> 01:18:10.440
today, I was just kind of like in my quiet time in my Bible

1432
01:18:10.440 --> 01:18:13.400
time. And usually I don't join the morning sessions for these

1433
01:18:13.400 --> 01:18:18.000
Tuesday meetings. It's usually the afternoons with Renee. And

1434
01:18:18.000 --> 01:18:24.840
so I have time now, I have no job to come. And God has been

1435
01:18:24.840 --> 01:18:28.480
like, kind of resurfacing online dating. And at first, I'm like,

1436
01:18:28.560 --> 01:18:31.600
Oh, heck no, God, like been there done that last four years

1437
01:18:31.600 --> 01:18:35.240
been like, like, I've had, I'm not gonna say all of it has been

1438
01:18:35.240 --> 01:18:40.560
bad. Like I've had so many good hits as well. But I'm just, I

1439
01:18:40.560 --> 01:18:43.960
don't know, God, like, I don't, I don't, I don't know, like,

1440
01:18:44.000 --> 01:18:44.400
okay,

1441
01:18:44.400 --> 01:18:47.600
this is a new season. So like you have now you have heartwork

1442
01:18:47.600 --> 01:18:51.720
tools, you do have tools, he's giving you those tools. So yes,

1443
01:18:51.720 --> 01:18:54.440
I know, it's easy for us to go because ladies, let me tell you,

1444
01:18:54.440 --> 01:18:58.560
I did the whole online dating, my son's dad, I met through

1445
01:18:58.600 --> 01:19:02.800
online dating. And so I was like, absolutely not like, that

1446
01:19:02.800 --> 01:19:06.320
was a bad experience. I forgot about all the good experiences I

1447
01:19:06.320 --> 01:19:09.560
had in that time, just because I had one bad experience or a

1448
01:19:09.560 --> 01:19:12.920
couple bad experiences. It doesn't mean that has to

1449
01:19:13.160 --> 01:19:17.960
continue to be a bad experience for you. So because you are

1450
01:19:17.960 --> 01:19:21.880
coming in with more wisdom, more knowledge, you have the

1451
01:19:21.880 --> 01:19:25.920
heartwork tools, you have the content here in phase two, you

1452
01:19:25.920 --> 01:19:29.760
have this community, you have the tools that you need to be

1453
01:19:29.760 --> 01:19:35.000
successful. Because, you know, one thing that I appreciated is

1454
01:19:35.000 --> 01:19:40.040
when I was going online, and I was getting dates, I could come

1455
01:19:40.040 --> 01:19:43.840
to this community and I could share about my experiences. And

1456
01:19:43.840 --> 01:19:47.760
it was, I was able to use those dating experience, the good, the

1457
01:19:47.760 --> 01:19:52.480
bad, the ugly, to help me grow. Yeah, that's important, ladies

1458
01:19:52.480 --> 01:19:55.240
is when you're stepping into these, you know, you're dating,

1459
01:19:55.240 --> 01:19:57.600
you're gonna date, you might date some duds, you might date a

1460
01:19:57.600 --> 01:19:59.800
handful of duds, you might, you know, come

1461
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:06.080
a guy that's just very unhealed and hurt and he is projecting stuff on you maybe

1462
01:20:06.080 --> 01:20:11.400
he's being rude and crude and you know harsh and you know you might come into

1463
01:20:11.400 --> 01:20:18.600
some scammers all of that stuff can be tools to grow you deeper in your

1464
01:20:18.600 --> 01:20:22.360
relationship with the Lord because he's gonna he's gonna utilize those

1465
01:20:22.360 --> 01:20:27.240
situations for your good and so I love that you came here Natalia and you're

1466
01:20:27.240 --> 01:20:31.600
able to see that and I just want to you know again just reiterate like what God

1467
01:20:31.600 --> 01:20:36.560
is showing you you do have the tools he's given you the tools he's he's he

1468
01:20:36.560 --> 01:20:41.760
has the tools that he's giving you you are the possessor of those tools yeah

1469
01:20:41.760 --> 01:20:46.760
it's just gonna continue to help you help you grow and and I believe it's

1470
01:20:46.760 --> 01:20:51.960
gonna be a really amazing experience yeah yeah my celebration is just like

1471
01:20:51.960 --> 01:20:59.800
being in that breakout room with Sarah like she was a big person like go and

1472
01:20:59.800 --> 01:21:05.000
talk about that stuff so I love that ladies and I love that connect with each

1473
01:21:05.000 --> 01:21:09.560
other here in this community I can't tell you enough ladies like it was

1474
01:21:09.560 --> 01:21:14.600
actually one of the women in this community that linked me to my husband

1475
01:21:14.600 --> 01:21:19.440
so I share that I feel like on every call I share a lot of the same things on

1476
01:21:19.480 --> 01:21:23.160
every call because this is what this program does you know it builds

1477
01:21:23.160 --> 01:21:27.560
community it builds relationship we're here to do it together all God ever

1478
01:21:27.560 --> 01:21:34.760
wanted was a family created us for relationship he created us for marriage

1479
01:21:34.760 --> 01:21:40.080
all right and so that's why this community I feel like there's just so

1480
01:21:40.080 --> 01:21:46.360
many amazing things that that has come from this community and it will continue

1481
01:21:46.360 --> 01:21:51.080
to happen I think there's still more things that God is ready to release in

1482
01:21:51.080 --> 01:21:54.120
this community that he hasn't even released yet ladies I've been in this

1483
01:21:54.120 --> 01:21:59.760
program since 2020 and it's 2024 it's the year of the open door and he's just

1484
01:21:59.760 --> 01:22:03.520
gonna keep opening doors for this community and it's gonna be such a

1485
01:22:03.520 --> 01:22:07.920
blessing and we're you know get on like okay I'm gonna actually activate you

1486
01:22:07.920 --> 01:22:11.160
ladies and we're gonna you know go ahead and close in prayer but one of the

1487
01:22:11.160 --> 01:22:14.040
things I want to activate you ladies and doing is I want you to go to that

1488
01:22:14.040 --> 01:22:20.560
resource tab this week and I want you to complete that spirit mate match

1489
01:22:20.560 --> 01:22:27.200
intake form and if you want to share this program I want you to get your

1490
01:22:27.200 --> 01:22:33.440
affiliate set up let's start let's start sharing what this can be like let's

1491
01:22:33.440 --> 01:22:37.880
start sharing this community with people there's so much breakthrough that I have

1492
01:22:37.880 --> 01:22:42.000
seen happen since the very beginning and it's just gonna continue to grow and

1493
01:22:42.000 --> 01:22:47.000
it's gonna start with all of us you know sharing it with people and so now

1494
01:22:47.000 --> 01:22:50.640
Jackie's got it set up where now y'all can get some cash in your pocket when

1495
01:22:50.640 --> 01:22:55.920
you do so so get those get those affiliate programs set up get your

1496
01:22:55.920 --> 01:22:59.880
spirit mate match and take form so we can start curating some events for y'all

1497
01:22:59.880 --> 01:23:03.760
and Jackie's the only one that's gonna see that content in the spirit mate

1498
01:23:03.760 --> 01:23:08.000
match for right now okay she's the only one she's the only one that has eyes on

1499
01:23:08.000 --> 01:23:13.160
it get that filled out so she can start using that information to start making

1500
01:23:13.160 --> 01:23:18.120
connections within the community and start getting some things going so

1501
01:23:18.120 --> 01:23:22.160
that's what I want to activate y'all to do this week and I also want to activate

1502
01:23:22.160 --> 01:23:25.480
you to start working on your dating profiles if you haven't done so

1503
01:23:25.480 --> 01:23:32.640
already and whatnot okay all right let's go ahead and pray out and then I want to

1504
01:23:32.640 --> 01:23:37.000
bless you all to have an amazing Tuesday and rest of your week so Heavenly

1505
01:23:37.000 --> 01:23:41.560
Father we just thank you we thank you for the love stories that you have

1506
01:23:41.560 --> 01:23:44.880
written in our lives Lord we thank you for this community we thank you for

1507
01:23:44.880 --> 01:23:48.960
Jackie and David we thank you for Bethany and Renee and all those that are

1508
01:23:48.960 --> 01:23:54.000
on our team Lord I just I their blessing Lord and I just thank you for that Lord

1509
01:23:54.000 --> 01:23:58.520
I want to thank you for each and every one of the members in this community not

1510
01:23:58.520 --> 01:24:03.560
just the women here in phase two but the women in all phases Lord and I just

1511
01:24:03.560 --> 01:24:07.880
thank you even for the men that are in this community as well Lord oh thank you

1512
01:24:07.880 --> 01:24:13.480
Jesus you know especially those men because it takes some strong courageous

1513
01:24:13.480 --> 01:24:17.360
men to step out in faith and join a community like this and I just thank you

1514
01:24:17.360 --> 01:24:20.640
for those men that they're they're the ones that are leading the way for the

1515
01:24:20.640 --> 01:24:25.800
other men of this world Lord I just pray for every single one of the ladies that

1516
01:24:25.800 --> 01:24:30.400
are on this call and on replay I pray for each one of their marriages and their

1517
01:24:30.440 --> 01:24:36.000
husbands Lord you know I just I pray that you know you are doing a good work

1518
01:24:36.000 --> 01:24:40.280
in those spirit mates and that you are aligning things that need to be aligned

1519
01:24:40.280 --> 01:24:46.880
and your order is good and father I just thank you I thank you for Jackie's word

1520
01:24:46.880 --> 01:24:55.800
of just not giving up not using excuses that it's time to partner with you and

1521
01:24:55.800 --> 01:25:02.040
it's time to work through the process even in the hard Lord I think

1522
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:04.660
you for the the ways that you show us that you are good and that even in those

1523
01:25:04.660 --> 01:25:09.840
stresses we can still just go deeper with you Lord and we can connect with

1524
01:25:09.840 --> 01:25:16.580
you and that you are our source you are the one that gives us the ability to

1525
01:25:16.580 --> 01:25:22.000
have bountiful fruit Lord and you your promises are good you are for us you

1526
01:25:22.000 --> 01:25:27.980
protect us I just thank you for all that you've done for us and Lord I just want

1527
01:25:27.980 --> 01:25:33.260
to bless each one of these ladies on their week and just encourage them show

1528
01:25:33.260 --> 01:25:37.560
them that you are with them and I just thank you for each and every one of them

1529
01:25:37.560 --> 01:25:45.720
in your mighty son's name amen thank you ladies so good to be with you we've got

1530
01:25:45.720 --> 01:25:52.700
our 8 o'clock all coming up tonight with ebony and miss Renee will be on too so

1531
01:25:52.700 --> 01:25:58.060
if you can make it please do I know Renee is moving on to some other areas

1532
01:25:58.060 --> 01:26:02.980
in our last year single group and some other things in her life so I know she

1533
01:26:02.980 --> 01:26:08.660
wants to speak to y'all tonight just briefly so if you can jump on please do

1534
01:26:08.660 --> 01:26:13.020
and ladies just go have a wonderful rest of your week and I can't wait to see you

1535
01:26:13.020 --> 01:26:20.300
next week all right thank you so much so much Carla bye-bye