WEBVTT

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All right, we did record our 12 p.m. Central 1 p.m. Eastern session.

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It was a longer session than normal, it was about an hour and a half, and there was some

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really good stuff shared, so make sure that you watch that recording when it gets posted

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because I feel like there was some good nuggets in there.

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All right, so I am your guest mentor, which seems funny to say because I used to be the

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only mentor, but now your hostess with the mostest is on a vacation, so Bethany is away

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with her husband on a cruise, we're so happy for her to get some time off, that's exciting,

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and so here I am, the OG, coming back.

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So if you've never coached with me before, if you're new, then welcome to me, Jackie

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D. I'm here to entertain you until you learn something tonight.

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All right, let me see what week you're in.

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Put in the comments what week of heart work you're in, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, I want to see what

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we've got going on tonight.

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Courtney is in that forgiveness week, girl, hold on tight.

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All right, we've got a couple people.

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Marishka is also in the forgiveness week, Joanna is in that week, too, you guys, that's

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a tough week a lot of times.

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Make sure you take it slow, low and slow.

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Jenny is in week two, that's that understanding your heart phase, that's a good one.

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Alicia's in her final phase of heart work, that the real you, all those counterfeits

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are being peeled away, the real you's rising, Jennifer is in there, too, Stacy's in there,

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too, week five.

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You guys, I can't sound out names, is it Kajsa, help me, say it again.

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Kajsa.

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Kajsa?

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Yes.

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All right, see, thank you, I would have never gotten that.

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You guys, if you don't know this, I am phonetically dyslexic, which means I cannot sound things

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out at all, which means I can't speak a foreign language because I can't sound things out.

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So, heal me, Lord.

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Okay, so we have a lot of people finishing week two, that's an important week of really

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understanding that you are a spirit that lives in a body that possesses a soul.

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You want to understand not just where you are now in life, but how you got there.

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And so that week two is some real important information on that.

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Week three is that confession week, very important stuff.

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Supernatural surrender, we have some ladies in here that are just starting out week one,

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we have Sarah and Lori and Aris, Aris, Aris, Aris, I don't know, something, something that's

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an A-R-I-S in week one as well.

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And so welcome all of you newbies, you're in for a treat.

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I want to make sure that you know that week one is so important to foundational, to the

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foundation of what you're about to do.

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Supernatural surrender, so important.

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And so make sure that you're not mailing that first weekend, that you're really signing

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that permission slip, that you're really leaning into the idea that God can only do what we

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can allow Him to do.

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Did you guys know that?

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It's not what God can do, because God can do anything.

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It's what we believe He can do.

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It's what we allow Him to do.

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And so that was a hard learned lesson for me in my life.

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You may not be there either yet.

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You may think that you're there, but you're not, meaning that you don't understand why

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you don't have breakthrough in your life, but you're still sitting behind the steering

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wheel of the car.

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You're still driving.

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You're still in control, full control.

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I just watched a hilarious video about what happens when Jesus takes the wheel.

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It was very funny.

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I should post it in your group.

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It was Mr. Toe's Wild Ride, and it's pretty accurate, actually.

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So God will take us places that we would never take ourselves when He is in control.

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Guys, I just want to start out our session tonight.

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I do have the notes that Bethany put together from your roll call, and we will go over those

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topics.

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But I just want to start out tonight's session by saying I am so sad in my heart tonight

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because I had a front row seat to a woman sabotaging her love story today.

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And I see that a lot.

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I do.

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But this guy, when I tell you that he's top shelf, he's top shelf, and not just like in

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the eyes of his grandmother.

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mother. I mean, in the eyes of everyone, he's tall. First of all, he's tall, y'all. Okay.

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He's tall. He's in the gym. He's good looking. You know, he's got nice eyes, got nice features,

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good skin, dresses, nice, kind, considerate, loves God, masculine, has a good job, makes great money.

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I mean, what's there not to like here? He's not goofy or nerdy or weird. Okay.

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He's cool to a certain extent. He's in his mid thirties, never married, no kids, no baggage.

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And this girl that he really deeply cares about is sabotaging herself.

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She's sabotaging herself. Why is she sabotaging herself? Because

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he's a good guy. You guys know that saying nice guys finish last. It's actually really true.

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Why is this? Why? Why have women been conditioned to want to be with the men

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that are going to cause them the most pain? Why? Why? Now I will admit

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that healthy relationships are far less exciting than the dysfunctional ones.

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Okay. The roller coaster ride is fun for a minute until you get off and you throw up.

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So truly, it is going to be a little anticlimactic for those of you that have been

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riding the Ferris wheel. Okay. Riding the, what's that called? When I was a kid,

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it was called the rotor or something. Forgive me guys, I have jet lag. The thing where it goes,

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it spins and spins and you stick to the wall, you stick to the wall like gravity,

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you're supposed to stick to the wall. Do you guys remember this ride

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at the fair? The bottom falls out and you're supposed to stick to the wall and then you're

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just hanging there. Like you remember when you take balloons and static electricity and you would

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put them like this and then stick them to the wall? Did anyone ever do that with balloons when

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you were a kid? Well, that's the concept of this ride. It starts going fast enough that the sheer

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force will like pin you to the wall and then the bottom falls out and then you're stuck to the

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wall, but your feet are not on anything because there's no bottom. Well, I never stuck to the

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wall. I would start sliding down the wall on that ride. Okay. That was not a fun ride for me. I

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hated that ride and my brother and all my friends always wanted to go on it, but I never Graviton.

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Yeah. Something like that. I never stuck to the wall. I didn't, no matter how many times I went

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on that ride, I hated it every time. And yet I kept getting on it. And this is what we do in

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our love lives. We just keep getting on the ride that we hate. Why do we do this? And this is what

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the heart work is supposed to be helping you do is unpack these toxic patterns of why you can't

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receive love from people who are emotionally available and healthy enough to give it.

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And instead we want to be in relationship with the people that are going to betray us and be

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dishonest and unfaithful. The ones that are going to take us on a ride that we've already been on

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plenty of times and we don't like it ever. Okay. So why am I saying that? Because you need to know

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that you could become this girl. You might've already been her in the past, but I want to

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help you not be her in the future because she is sabotaging an amazing opportunity.

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Yep. And some of you, and I want you to be honest, if this is your takeaway, well, you know, she can't

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help it if she's not attracted. A guy could really be great and he could be great on paper,

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but you know, you can't predict attraction.

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Attraction is rooted in something. Did you know that?

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You're not just born with your attractions. Your attractions come from somewhere.

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You're not just born with your attractions. Your attractions come from somewhere.

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And if your attractions are leading you to dysfunctional relationships, then that means

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your attractions are not working for you. They're working against you. And that means that they're

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rooted in dysfunction. They're rooted in trauma. These counterfeit identities, those of you that

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are in week five, you're peeling back the counterfeits and allowing the real you to

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emerge, the authentic you. Those counterfeits, each one of those counterfeits has a whole ecosystem

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around it, meaning that it has.

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likes and dislikes and preferences, who it thinks it is, who it doesn't think it is,

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who it is, who it's not, what it will do, what it won't do. Do you guys get that?

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All those counterfeit identities that were created by trauma,

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they aren't just, they're not just one faceted, they're multifaceted.

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And so what you have to do is you have to be present in yourself when you're doing something

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that's unworthy of you. Whatever behavior pattern is leading you into trouble, it's leading you to

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heartache and pain. There's a scripture in the Bible that says, take my feet off this path of

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pain, God, and lead me back to you. So anytime you find yourself in situations that you don't

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want to be in, you have to take inventory of how you got there. What choices, what decisions,

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what preferences, what attractions got you there? And then you got to unpack that stuff

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because all of that is rooted somewhere in some type of lie and some type of trauma and some type

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of lie that's in that trauma, a whole belief system that is creating this less than kingdom

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life for you. Amen. Do you guys know the most successful people in this world? And I don't

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mean success on like a secular scale, the most kingdom successfully, successfully kingdom people,

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jet lag, sorry, you guys. They are people that are very intentionally self-aware.

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And you know what happens when you decide to become intentionally self-aware?

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You're going to be slower to process things. You're going to make decisions a little bit slower.

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You're going to speak a little bit slower. You're going to take a few moments to take inventory of

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the situation before you just come out guns blaring. Before you say yes to the opportunity,

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you're going to take a few moments, maybe even a few hours, maybe even a few days

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to get down to whether or not it is in your real self's best interest.

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Come on, you guys picking this up what we're tracking on here with Holy Spirit.

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One rightly timed yes

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is powerful. And at the same time, all the no's that it takes to get to that yes, powerful.

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Life-changing.

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But it takes desire and that's what the heart work is all about.

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It takes desire to want to live at full capacity as your real God-created self.

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And you guys, it's not an overnight process and there will be ebbs and flows and there will be

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wrong turns and there will be all different types of things that happen in this process.

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But as long as you in the next moment make the next decision to once again go back to that

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intentionality of taking time to really process and be self-aware, you can get back on track.

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Okay, so we have to think about what we're thinking about.

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And so for those of you that are in for a little bit of a break,

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and so for those of you that are in phase one, or I'm sorry, in a week one of phase one heart work,

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that's what that permission slip is all about. If you read it carefully, it's talking about

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my favorite prayer, which is simple, teach me, show me, heal me, grow me.

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It's talking about if there is anything that is in the unconscious realm,

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any belief systems, any pretenses that I'm living my life by that I'm not aware of consciously,

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I'm giving you permission to de-energize.

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Disconnect me from my default systems

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Do you guys believe that

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How many of you are already seeing that happen

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Your default whatever you default to you you're starting to be aware of it

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It's called the revealing for healing starting to be aware. Oh, wait a second

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There's something about this that seems

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Not like me

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You'll start to notice the imposter

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Type stuff you'll start to notice the counterfeit stuff

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It'll feel like it has anyone noticed this yet, it'll feel like you're acting

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It'll actually feel like you're being fake when you're operating in those old

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mindsets

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Has anyone here ever

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You know as you're in this healing process, have you said something and literally said in your mind?

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I don't actually think what I just said was true

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Like you're you're playing along and you're saying something that maybe you would have normally said in the past

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But now when it leaves your lips, it sounds false. It rings

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false anybody else and

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And then you're just like

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What am I a liar now? What's going on?

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know what's happening is is that the real you is is starting to

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Gain momentum. And so these counterfeit versions of you are starting to feel exactly that counterfeit

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One thing I want you to be especially aware of

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Is what and who bring out your counterfeits the most

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What what triggers those counterfeits and what are they you can even give them names if you want to

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Like you can give one of your counterfeits because you we have more than one you guys it's not just it's like multiple personalities, okay

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So what brings out your people pleaser?

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What brings out your people pleaser what circumstances brings out your toxic people pleaser

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For those of you that have that counterfeit what brings that out who brings that out, you know

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Let's give them some names let's give our counterfeit some names right now

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Let's do that let's do that as an activation

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I will go over the things the notes that Bethany left for us

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But I did a lot of that in the first session for this today

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So because that's available in replay, I want to go after some other things tonight

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So what are who brings out the counterfeits let's give our counterfeits some names and don't be shy you guys

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Because remember those are not the real you anyway, so don't be embarrassed

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Maybe one of your counterfeits is a liar

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You

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Pay attention if you if you say things that are not true

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Pay attention to what circumstances make you you know

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Pull you into that

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Where you feel like is it when you feel like you're being questioned when people are being nosy

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They're asking too many questions

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Is it when you're around people that you don't want them to know your business and so you find yourself telling little white lies?

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About what you're doing or where you're going or how you feel about things, you know

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What are those counterfeits let's name them an avoidant counterfeit, okay

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Okay, let's name them like for those of you that are Millennials

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Let's name them like friends shows the one where I have to have it all together

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The one who acts like they're always happy that's a good one

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When go ahead and unmute yourself. When do you feel like you have to put on the smile?

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A pretty girl is a happy girl. When does that counterfeit come out who what circumstance?

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Eris Aris, tell me how you pronounce your name and tell us when that comes out

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You

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Eris like Paris perfect. Are you gonna unmute yourself? Are you somewhere you that you can't talk?

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Exactly. She said she's at work. Okay, so she's at work right now and that is the place where

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She feels like she has to always act like everything's good

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Now you have to ask yourself why?

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Ask Holy Spirit to show you why why do you have to always be chipper and happy at work?

215
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Why do you have to be that person?

216
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Why?

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Everybody has trouble everyone feels down. Not everyone's having a good day every day

218
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So, how come?

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00:20:34.800 --> 00:20:37.360
why is your value at work a

220
00:20:38.480 --> 00:20:45.780
Counterfeit of always up always on always good ask yourself that. All right. Let's go to some other ones

221
00:20:49.240 --> 00:20:53.820
Have to have everything under control Laura when around who

222
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Joanna is very similar. I have to have it all together. Why who said

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Where does it come from

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This is Joanna, I

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Don't know I guess I don't really know where it comes from but

226
00:21:21.360 --> 00:21:23.360
It's just always has been in

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In green that I have to like have it all together

228
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And it's in every aspect

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Like with my family

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At work in business

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Okay

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Well, first of all is dishonest, right

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Because nobody has it all together

234
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24-7 and

235
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Actually some of the most endearing parts of us write this down

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00:22:01.680 --> 00:22:08.400
some of the most endearing parts of you meaning the parts that people will like the most and people will feel the most drawn to

237
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Are the messier parts of you?

238
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And a lot of times we don't believe that because we're raised in families that don't allow us to express emotion

239
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Unless that emotion is I'm good

240
00:22:22.600 --> 00:22:24.600
We're all out to be angry or sad

241
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We're not allowed to have any kind of beef

242
00:22:28.280 --> 00:22:32.720
be upset about anything any kind of pushback and kind of conflict and

243
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Then there are some families where there's nothing but conflict all the time

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and

245
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so

246
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You need to know and God wants you to know that some of the best parts of you

247
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Are

248
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Messy

249
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And see you might think that those are not fit for public consumption, but

250
00:22:55.120 --> 00:22:58.280
They are and you guys I think this is a gender thing as well

251
00:22:59.720 --> 00:23:02.960
Because I know that it's socially acceptable for men to be angry

252
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Right

253
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For them to get ticked off for them to have road rage for them to whatever but women

254
00:23:13.200 --> 00:23:16.440
Generally speaking. We're supposed to be happy

255
00:23:18.920 --> 00:23:20.920
And kind

256
00:23:21.400 --> 00:23:28.120
You know, it's a general it's it's a generation thing the younger women maybe they're not dealing with that as much but if you're in

257
00:23:28.320 --> 00:23:30.320
here right now and you're

258
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You know

259
00:23:32.240 --> 00:23:34.240
40 and up let's say

260
00:23:34.880 --> 00:23:38.480
Definitely you have been taught that women should act a certain way

261
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And

262
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Usually that way is happy

263
00:23:45.400 --> 00:23:48.080
Well, if you want to attract a man you better be happy

264
00:23:50.680 --> 00:23:52.680
You better smile

265
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And

266
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No one could smile all the time. Nobody's happy all the time. And I will tell you that comes across as very disingenuous

267
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Now we also don't want to be known as forgive me for saying this because I'm trying to make a point

268
00:24:10.200 --> 00:24:14.040
I don't think that this should be named a person's name and if this is your name

269
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I'm not saying that this is your identity, but no one wants to be branded as a Karen nowadays

270
00:24:22.440 --> 00:24:27.040
I've always felt so sorry for everyone named Karen after that happened, right? Because that sucks

271
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But you know, that is a woman who is visibly and publicly upset

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And not having it and as you know

273
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Apparently not allowed to be that

274
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Did you guys know that?

275
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Gen Z. So that's anyone who's

276
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27 and down right now that

277
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You know when they work in customer service or they work in public face

278
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:09.800
facing jobs, they actually will not deal with people who are unhappy with whatever service

279
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or whatever's happening in the situation.

280
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If you're upset, they actually shut down.

281
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They shut down.

282
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They not only don't help you, they're actually opposed to helping you if you're upset about

283
00:25:28.400 --> 00:25:33.680
something, especially if you have any kind of tone or you seem aggressive in any way,

284
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shape or form.

285
00:25:34.680 --> 00:25:42.680
Guys, we are dealing with a society who is continuously making it harder and harder and

286
00:25:42.680 --> 00:25:50.520
harder for people to, you know, express unhappiness.

287
00:25:50.520 --> 00:25:55.800
Now, I'm not saying you should be rude to people.

288
00:25:55.800 --> 00:26:00.040
I'm not saying that you should show up entitled, but there are going to be times when, you

289
00:26:00.040 --> 00:26:02.640
know, things aren't right.

290
00:26:02.640 --> 00:26:08.360
And we're dealing with a society who wants everyone to act like everything's okay all

291
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the time.

292
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And that's not a real thing.

293
00:26:16.760 --> 00:26:22.160
So Marsha says she can't make mistakes.

294
00:26:22.160 --> 00:26:25.880
Jennifer says she has to be self-sufficient, has to take care of herself, has to depend

295
00:26:25.880 --> 00:26:27.560
on herself.

296
00:26:27.560 --> 00:26:33.840
She doesn't deserve good things to happen to her.

297
00:26:33.840 --> 00:26:38.680
Laura said her mom always taught her to have it together in public.

298
00:26:38.680 --> 00:26:40.300
Sarah's the peacekeeper.

299
00:26:40.300 --> 00:26:44.440
She can't disagree or rock the boat.

300
00:26:44.440 --> 00:26:47.920
Shelly says be careful not to be too much around family.

301
00:26:47.920 --> 00:26:54.640
So she's telling us who that counterfeit comes out around, family.

302
00:26:54.640 --> 00:26:58.200
Don't let them see you sweat.

303
00:26:58.200 --> 00:26:59.200
Don't show any weakness.

304
00:26:59.200 --> 00:27:09.920
It's almost like being around a bunch of predators, right?

305
00:27:09.920 --> 00:27:15.520
April says around her sister, she feels like she always has to be positive.

306
00:27:15.720 --> 00:27:16.720
Annette said church.

307
00:27:16.720 --> 00:27:19.040
I'm trying to figure out what that goes with.

308
00:27:19.040 --> 00:27:22.200
Annette, what did that go with?

309
00:27:22.200 --> 00:27:31.320
I'm trying to scroll back.

310
00:27:31.320 --> 00:27:42.200
Just, I know church is supposed to be a place where we could go for healing at, but I have

311
00:27:42.200 --> 00:27:50.760
came across a lot of people I feel like that are judgmental in church.

312
00:27:50.760 --> 00:28:09.840
And so it made me not want to open up and just express really how I was feeling.

313
00:28:09.840 --> 00:28:12.360
It's called religion, right?

314
00:28:12.360 --> 00:28:14.080
Religion expects you to be perfect.

315
00:28:14.080 --> 00:28:18.960
Jesus even said to the Pharisees, he's like on the outside, you look good, but inside

316
00:28:18.960 --> 00:28:22.400
you is dead men's bones.

317
00:28:22.400 --> 00:28:23.800
Right?

318
00:28:23.800 --> 00:28:30.200
So we go to churches where everyone's dressed up nice looking good, you know, sit next to

319
00:28:30.200 --> 00:28:32.240
their spouses.

320
00:28:32.240 --> 00:28:39.560
Everything seems kosher on the surface, but underneath the surface, that ain't true.

321
00:28:40.280 --> 00:28:41.280
Right?

322
00:28:41.280 --> 00:28:42.280
Right.

323
00:28:42.280 --> 00:28:45.440
I went to a church like that too.

324
00:28:45.440 --> 00:28:48.560
And you guys, I will tell you, and this is important.

325
00:28:48.560 --> 00:28:52.360
This is why it's important for us to be who we really are.

326
00:28:52.360 --> 00:28:58.460
And who cares if people judge us because somebody wants to see your humanity.

327
00:28:58.460 --> 00:29:01.640
Somebody needs to see you're messy.

328
00:29:01.640 --> 00:29:07.280
When I first became a believer, I went to a church that on the surface, everybody seemed

329
00:29:07.280 --> 00:29:09.560
to have it all together, which made me feel worse.

330
00:29:09.560 --> 00:29:17.280
It made me feel more damaged because I was like, Oh my goodness, all these people, they

331
00:29:17.280 --> 00:29:19.840
love their spouses, they love their kids.

332
00:29:19.840 --> 00:29:24.760
And I have a half drank bottle of vodka underneath the seat of my car right now as we speak.

333
00:29:24.760 --> 00:29:31.360
And I'm like trying to make it here, you know, and the women's gatherings were really bad

334
00:29:31.360 --> 00:29:36.760
because everyone seemed so perfect and perfectly manicured and dressed and all the things and

335
00:29:37.240 --> 00:29:38.240
problems.

336
00:29:39.240 --> 00:29:46.320
But you guys know that that same church is where 10 years later, the pastor went to prison

337
00:29:46.320 --> 00:29:50.680
because he was stealing all the money, cheating on his wife, had a whole nother family, had

338
00:29:50.680 --> 00:29:53.560
other kids.

339
00:29:53.560 --> 00:29:58.240
Half the people in that church ended up getting divorced after he was arrested because they

340
00:29:58.240 --> 00:29:59.440
were all living a lie.

341
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.240
porn addictions, swingers, swapping husbands and wives, all kinds of crazy crap.

342
00:30:07.680 --> 00:30:14.160
And how does that happen? It happens when we have a form of godliness. It's a big show,

343
00:30:14.160 --> 00:30:21.440
but we deny the power that can truly make us holy. And that's what goes on, unfortunately,

344
00:30:21.440 --> 00:30:25.760
in a lot of spiritual communities. And so here's the advice that I have to people who don't feel

345
00:30:25.760 --> 00:30:33.600
like they can be truly themselves at their church. Find a new church. Don't go to that church.

346
00:30:35.440 --> 00:30:40.400
If you can't express where you're at or what you're going through and have people come around

347
00:30:40.400 --> 00:30:44.560
you and support you and pray for you, and not for the purpose of gossiping about you

348
00:30:44.560 --> 00:30:53.280
or finding out the tea, then you're in the wrong place. Guys, half of my mental health issues were

349
00:30:53.280 --> 00:30:56.960
because I was at that church. As soon as the pastor went to prison and the whole church fell

350
00:30:56.960 --> 00:31:03.120
apart and basically closed its doors and I was forced to not be there anymore because there was

351
00:31:03.120 --> 00:31:11.840
no way to be there, I got almost immediately better because of the spiritual abuse and the

352
00:31:11.840 --> 00:31:16.480
stress of that place was really a lot of what was going on with me. And of course, the abusive

353
00:31:16.480 --> 00:31:23.440
marriage that I was in that ended with that church's ending. Because sometimes it's a rescue

354
00:31:23.440 --> 00:31:32.240
mission. Whatever calamity happened in your life, God actually was using that calamity to rescue

355
00:31:32.240 --> 00:31:39.520
you because he knew that you were never going to leave any other way because of your toxic loyalty.

356
00:31:39.520 --> 00:31:42.480
And yes, I put the word toxic in front of loyalty.

357
00:31:48.000 --> 00:31:52.560
If your loyalty to anything is killing you and your children, it's toxic.

358
00:31:55.120 --> 00:31:58.560
Don't pat yourself on the back. Oh, I'm a lifer. I'm a ride or die.

359
00:31:59.680 --> 00:32:07.760
Well, you might just get your wish. Die. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

360
00:32:08.720 --> 00:32:13.040
There's nothing wrong with quitting when something's not working.

361
00:32:17.200 --> 00:32:24.160
It's absolutely godly to give up. Somebody needs to hear that. It's absolutely godly to give up.

362
00:32:28.000 --> 00:32:33.680
It is. In some cases, it's what needs to happen.

363
00:32:38.240 --> 00:32:42.080
So for those of you that have been beating yourself up because you gave up on something

364
00:32:42.080 --> 00:32:47.840
and you just still feel like such a failure, failure is a component of success.

365
00:32:50.560 --> 00:32:58.400
Failure is necessary in life. And God promises us in Romans 8, 28, that he will work all things

366
00:32:58.400 --> 00:33:01.520
to the good of those that love him and are called according to his purposes.

367
00:33:03.360 --> 00:33:07.200
And really his purpose is just that you would show this world what it looks like to be a son

368
00:33:07.200 --> 00:33:15.840
or a daughter of God. Right? All right. So that's important, guys. That's important stuff.

369
00:33:15.840 --> 00:33:18.640
So I like the vulnerability here. So let's just keep going with that.

370
00:33:19.760 --> 00:33:25.280
Some of you need some endings. You're here for a new beginning, but new beginnings require endings.

371
00:33:26.080 --> 00:33:30.240
And so even though some of you already have this t-shirt and this mug,

372
00:33:30.240 --> 00:33:32.720
you've already been to this rodeo that we're talking about right now,

373
00:33:33.200 --> 00:33:39.440
and you've already left those places, there's some of you that are still in those places

374
00:33:40.640 --> 00:33:46.080
of toxic loyalty and you still do need to leave. It could be your job. It could be a spiritual

375
00:33:46.080 --> 00:33:51.680
community. It could be a friend group that's never had your back. They don't ever clap when you win.

376
00:33:53.120 --> 00:33:56.960
Right? They haven't been for you for a moment, for not even a moment.

377
00:33:57.600 --> 00:34:00.000
But I've known him since kindergarten. I don't care.

378
00:34:01.040 --> 00:34:03.680
That just means that you've just put up with it for way too long.

379
00:34:05.680 --> 00:34:08.719
God can't fill a space that you don't make empty.

380
00:34:11.760 --> 00:34:14.719
You got to empty that space so God can fill it.

381
00:34:20.880 --> 00:34:25.520
Guys, we would not pride ourselves on anything else in any other genre.

382
00:34:27.120 --> 00:34:34.400
Like we do hanging on to broke down, messed up, toxic, hooptie relationships.

383
00:34:35.040 --> 00:34:39.040
Apply that to a car. Would you brag to everybody that, oh, you know,

384
00:34:39.679 --> 00:34:43.600
I've just been through thick and thin with this car. This car is blown up. This car has caught

385
00:34:43.600 --> 00:34:47.440
fire. This car doesn't even have any seats in it anymore. I'm sitting on the floorboard

386
00:34:47.440 --> 00:34:52.000
riding this, you know, hooptie. It's what we used to call it when I was a kid.

387
00:34:52.880 --> 00:34:56.480
Would you brag about that? No, you wouldn't. Why? You'd be embarrassed.

388
00:34:57.040 --> 00:34:59.840
You'd be embarrassed to admit that you had helped somebody.

389
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:00.840
Hold on to this thing.

390
00:35:00.840 --> 00:35:02.560
You're going to ride it till the wheels fall off.

391
00:35:04.600 --> 00:35:09.120
But why, why do we do that with human relationships?

392
00:35:10.360 --> 00:35:13.760
Bragging about how this person's put us through hell and

393
00:35:13.760 --> 00:35:15.320
back, but we're still here.

394
00:35:15.320 --> 00:35:19.800
What, what, why does that make any sense?

395
00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:27.000
Why do we consider that noble?

396
00:35:28.000 --> 00:35:30.000
You guys, that comes from somewhere.

397
00:35:31.000 --> 00:35:34.800
And so ask Holy spirit to show you where you started believing

398
00:35:35.400 --> 00:35:40.600
that love hurts and that the longer that you stay in and with

399
00:35:40.880 --> 00:35:46.400
people that are hurting you and taking advantage of you and

400
00:35:46.400 --> 00:35:51.640
putting you through it over and over again, why that somehow

401
00:35:51.640 --> 00:35:53.080
says that you're a good person.

402
00:35:53.080 --> 00:35:58.880
If people in your life say, oh, I don't know how you put up

403
00:35:58.880 --> 00:35:59.280
with that.

404
00:35:59.280 --> 00:36:00.880
It probably means you shouldn't be.

405
00:36:07.080 --> 00:36:10.480
Alright, so Holy spirit would not take us down that rabbit

406
00:36:10.480 --> 00:36:12.480
trail unless that's for several people.

407
00:36:12.480 --> 00:36:14.080
So if the shoe fits, babe.

408
00:36:16.480 --> 00:36:17.680
Come on.

409
00:36:18.680 --> 00:36:20.080
God wants us to get free.

410
00:36:21.080 --> 00:36:22.080
And just so you know.

411
00:36:24.280 --> 00:36:28.080
When we stay in dead places like that, we stay in dead counterfeit

412
00:36:28.080 --> 00:36:29.080
personalities.

413
00:36:29.480 --> 00:36:31.680
The real you can't survive in those places.

414
00:36:31.680 --> 00:36:36.080
And so you're going to always have to create a false you in

415
00:36:36.080 --> 00:36:37.280
order to be there.

416
00:36:42.480 --> 00:36:43.080
Cool.

417
00:36:44.480 --> 00:36:45.080
All right.

418
00:36:45.880 --> 00:36:48.880
Anyone want to give some input?

419
00:36:50.280 --> 00:36:52.080
Want to speak to that?

420
00:36:52.080 --> 00:36:53.480
Want to say, hey, that's me.

421
00:36:53.480 --> 00:36:54.080
Help me.

422
00:36:54.680 --> 00:36:55.680
I want out of here.

423
00:37:02.680 --> 00:37:04.180
Emily said that's for her.

424
00:37:05.680 --> 00:37:07.480
Eris said Amen.

425
00:37:08.180 --> 00:37:11.280
Rebecca said my ex threw that at me that it was godly to give

426
00:37:11.280 --> 00:37:15.480
up that it was godly to give up on me for not doing my wifely

427
00:37:15.480 --> 00:37:17.780
duty and giving him enough sex.

428
00:37:18.980 --> 00:37:19.780
That's gag.

429
00:37:20.480 --> 00:37:24.580
Toxic religion taught us this because then we are not loving

430
00:37:24.580 --> 00:37:25.180
right?

431
00:37:28.280 --> 00:37:32.280
Yeah, our definition of love and God's definition of love.

432
00:37:33.280 --> 00:37:33.980
Not the same.

433
00:37:36.780 --> 00:37:37.580
It's not the same.

434
00:37:45.480 --> 00:37:49.080
And whoever posted that about your ex said that it was okay

435
00:37:49.080 --> 00:37:52.380
to give up on you because you weren't giving him enough sex.

436
00:37:52.380 --> 00:37:54.280
So he divorced you girl.

437
00:37:54.280 --> 00:37:55.380
You dodged a bullet.

438
00:37:59.980 --> 00:38:03.680
Because that smacks of narcissism.

439
00:38:04.580 --> 00:38:06.680
Right just about me.

440
00:38:06.880 --> 00:38:10.480
It's about my needs and about something so base.

441
00:38:12.280 --> 00:38:15.680
Yeah, we want to have sexual compatibility in our marriages,

442
00:38:15.680 --> 00:38:19.780
but anyone who makes that the main aspect of marriage.

443
00:38:20.480 --> 00:38:22.580
They didn't they don't want a wife.

444
00:38:24.380 --> 00:38:25.080
Right?

445
00:38:25.880 --> 00:38:27.680
They just want a sexual outlet.

446
00:38:29.980 --> 00:38:30.880
No, thanks.

447
00:38:32.680 --> 00:38:35.380
I mean you can unmute yourself and answer this but I bet your

448
00:38:35.380 --> 00:38:36.680
sex life sucked.

449
00:38:37.980 --> 00:38:42.180
I bet it was not fulfilling and intimate in any way shape or

450
00:38:42.180 --> 00:38:42.680
form.

451
00:38:43.080 --> 00:38:44.380
I bet it felt like

452
00:38:45.380 --> 00:38:46.180
you were being

453
00:38:47.280 --> 00:38:47.980
used.

454
00:38:49.180 --> 00:38:50.680
Yeah, that that was me.

455
00:38:51.880 --> 00:38:55.980
Yeah, and yes, I think I didn't notice it because I was too

456
00:38:55.980 --> 00:39:01.180
busy taking care of him and his you know physical issues and

457
00:39:01.180 --> 00:39:03.780
his I'm a wounded warrior thing and

458
00:39:05.280 --> 00:39:07.180
the real truth is after 20 years.

459
00:39:07.180 --> 00:39:09.180
He was patched up but just wanted to go play.

460
00:39:11.180 --> 00:39:11.680
Yeah.

461
00:39:12.680 --> 00:39:16.680
Guys anytime a woman or even a man but we're women.

462
00:39:16.680 --> 00:39:20.280
So let's talk about us anytime a woman in a relate in a marriage

463
00:39:20.280 --> 00:39:24.480
doesn't really want to have sex and you've ruled out biological

464
00:39:24.480 --> 00:39:29.180
like situations like medical situations like hormones and

465
00:39:29.180 --> 00:39:32.180
different things like that is because there isn't an emotional

466
00:39:32.180 --> 00:39:33.780
depth to the relationship.

467
00:39:33.780 --> 00:39:35.780
There isn't a strong emotional

468
00:39:36.780 --> 00:39:37.480
connection

469
00:39:38.380 --> 00:39:40.880
and women don't want to give their bodies to men that they

470
00:39:40.880 --> 00:39:41.980
don't feel safe with.

471
00:39:44.380 --> 00:39:45.480
It's a real buzzkill.

472
00:39:46.880 --> 00:39:50.480
Well, and I think some women just aren't initiators.

473
00:39:51.480 --> 00:39:52.380
I never told the man.

474
00:39:52.380 --> 00:39:52.780
No,

475
00:39:53.680 --> 00:39:55.080
he could have had as much as he wanted.

476
00:39:57.780 --> 00:39:58.380
Yeah,

477
00:39:58.980 --> 00:39:59.480
you know,

478
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.000
Yeah.

479
00:40:01.000 --> 00:40:04.320
But you knew that 20 years ago when we got married.

480
00:40:04.320 --> 00:40:12.560
Well, he wouldn't have anything to complain about then, right?

481
00:40:12.560 --> 00:40:14.700
He wouldn't have anything to complain about.

482
00:40:14.700 --> 00:40:21.600
You guys, there's a shocking amount of married women who have absolutely no enjoyment in

483
00:40:21.600 --> 00:40:22.600
their sex lives.

484
00:40:22.600 --> 00:40:28.920
They don't even have orgasms because there isn't any kind of compatibility there where

485
00:40:29.920 --> 00:40:40.040
their pleasure or their needs or their intimacy is being prioritized.

486
00:40:40.040 --> 00:40:48.760
It's a shocking amount of women and not just like our age of women, but even younger women.

487
00:40:48.760 --> 00:40:50.960
And so my daughters are both married.

488
00:40:50.960 --> 00:40:55.960
I have a 27-year-old daughter and I have a 23-year-old daughter and my 27-year-old daughter,

489
00:40:55.960 --> 00:40:58.800
all of her friends got married at the same time.

490
00:40:58.800 --> 00:41:03.200
So all of them have been married for a couple of years now and she's been talking to her

491
00:41:03.200 --> 00:41:07.160
friends because they're all married women about their sex lives and different things.

492
00:41:07.160 --> 00:41:09.960
Some of them are having babies now and different things.

493
00:41:09.960 --> 00:41:16.800
And she's like, mom, she's like, nobody is enjoying their sex lives.

494
00:41:16.800 --> 00:41:18.500
No one's having orgasms.

495
00:41:18.500 --> 00:41:25.960
No one is feeling seen or known or prioritized in this area of their marriage.

496
00:41:25.960 --> 00:41:26.960
And I blame a few things.

497
00:41:27.120 --> 00:41:30.560
I blame the purity movement, right?

498
00:41:30.560 --> 00:41:36.000
These younger kids, they're getting married and they have no idea about sex or how to

499
00:41:36.000 --> 00:41:42.560
even navigate that or what they're allowed to want or desire in those situations.

500
00:41:42.560 --> 00:41:46.760
There's a lot of shame around sex still, unfortunately, because of religion.

501
00:41:46.760 --> 00:41:50.120
And so even though now they're legally allowed to have sex because they're married, they

502
00:41:50.120 --> 00:41:53.960
still can't really enjoy it or really get into it or really explore it because they

503
00:41:53.960 --> 00:41:56.320
feel like that's out of bounds.

504
00:41:56.320 --> 00:41:57.320
So there's that.

505
00:41:57.320 --> 00:42:04.520
And then there's also the, unfortunately, within the Christian sphere, there's a lot

506
00:42:04.520 --> 00:42:09.480
of ideas that sex is really just for the, either for procreation or for the enjoyment

507
00:42:09.480 --> 00:42:12.680
of men, right?

508
00:42:12.680 --> 00:42:16.560
Which is so not true.

509
00:42:16.560 --> 00:42:17.560
It's so not true.

510
00:42:17.560 --> 00:42:18.560
Okay.

511
00:42:18.560 --> 00:42:21.480
It's so not true.

512
00:42:21.480 --> 00:42:22.480
God wants us.

513
00:42:22.480 --> 00:42:23.480
He made us sexual beings.

514
00:42:23.640 --> 00:42:25.680
And just so you guys know, that's not part of the curse.

515
00:42:25.680 --> 00:42:30.520
Adam and Eve are going to be intimate with each other.

516
00:42:30.520 --> 00:42:32.080
They were.

517
00:42:32.080 --> 00:42:35.560
That's why they were male and female.

518
00:42:35.560 --> 00:42:37.960
That's why God brought them together.

519
00:42:37.960 --> 00:42:40.320
That's why it was not good for a man to be alone.

520
00:42:40.320 --> 00:42:45.000
One of the aspects is that the masculine and the feminine are better together in every

521
00:42:45.000 --> 00:42:47.760
way, including sexually.

522
00:42:47.760 --> 00:42:53.120
And so sex is not part of the curse, it's part of divine design.

523
00:42:53.760 --> 00:42:58.320
And so maybe this is something that you need to unpack during this heartwork phase of Last

524
00:42:58.320 --> 00:42:59.840
Year Single program.

525
00:42:59.840 --> 00:43:11.280
You need to unpack all of your ideas about intimacy that are based in counterfeit.

526
00:43:11.280 --> 00:43:19.280
And that counterfeit could have happened when you were sexually violated, repressed, oppressed,

527
00:43:19.280 --> 00:43:21.560
abused.

528
00:43:21.560 --> 00:43:23.720
Any and all of those things.

529
00:43:23.720 --> 00:43:27.720
And when I say oppressed or repressed by religion, by your parents, by the things you've been

530
00:43:27.720 --> 00:43:34.280
taught, and then also we can be sexually abused not just by people, but by ideas, by society,

531
00:43:34.280 --> 00:43:40.680
by movies, by books we've read, all different types of things can cause sexual dysfunction.

532
00:43:40.680 --> 00:43:46.160
And so if you feel like you have shame around sex, if you feel like you have fear around

533
00:43:46.160 --> 00:43:49.560
sex, then that is part of a counterfeit that you're going to want to unpack because your

534
00:43:49.560 --> 00:43:56.800
future marriage is full of intimacy, including physical, right?

535
00:43:56.800 --> 00:44:01.120
And so we want to make sure that we're getting to the bottom of that before we get there.

536
00:44:01.120 --> 00:44:03.040
Guys, that's what this is all about.

537
00:44:03.040 --> 00:44:08.440
This is helping you to diffuse these bombs before they ever go off, right?

538
00:44:08.440 --> 00:44:12.120
Helping you unpack these boxes so you don't have to move them into your marriage and clutter

539
00:44:12.120 --> 00:44:13.240
it all up.

540
00:44:13.240 --> 00:44:14.800
That is what this is about.

541
00:44:14.800 --> 00:44:19.520
And not just your marriage, your future marriage, but also your relationship with God in yourself

542
00:44:19.720 --> 00:44:23.520
and your relationships with others that are not romantic.

543
00:44:23.520 --> 00:44:26.560
This is meant for you to live abundantly.

544
00:44:26.560 --> 00:44:29.440
All right, so let's keep going with these counterfeits.

545
00:44:29.440 --> 00:44:32.080
I feel like that's kind of the theme of our call tonight.

546
00:44:32.080 --> 00:44:36.320
This is where Holy Spirit led us, and so let's just keep going with this.

547
00:44:36.320 --> 00:44:39.800
Who has something that they want to share about what we're talking about right now about

548
00:44:39.800 --> 00:44:43.200
a counterfeit that you're dealing with?

549
00:44:43.200 --> 00:44:47.040
Maybe you know where it comes from, maybe you don't, but let's dig into it together.

550
00:44:50.400 --> 00:44:53.120
I can share.

551
00:44:53.120 --> 00:44:54.760
I don't entirely know what to call it.

552
00:44:54.760 --> 00:44:59.240
I've actually been trying to figure out how to word it fully, but it's basically this

553
00:44:59.240 --> 00:45:00.080
sense of like...

554
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:02.940
Like I have to be the responsible one.

555
00:45:03.500 --> 00:45:06.820
Um, and that phrase I've kind of known for a long time, but the Lord's been

556
00:45:06.820 --> 00:45:09.660
really helping me unpack that lately.

557
00:45:09.780 --> 00:45:14.900
Um, and it seems to come out in like, so my mom has an illness

558
00:45:14.900 --> 00:45:16.500
that she's had my whole life.

559
00:45:16.660 --> 00:45:18.420
It's more noticeable now.

560
00:45:18.420 --> 00:45:22.980
It wasn't necessarily noticeable as a kid, but I think I kind of picked up on it

561
00:45:22.980 --> 00:45:30.120
enough to go, if I'll react a certain way or, or, um, act a certain way, tends

562
00:45:30.120 --> 00:45:35.160
to lean into perfection, like it'll help her, it'll help, it'll fix how she's

563
00:45:35.160 --> 00:45:37.840
feeling, she'll be able to be more present.

564
00:45:38.200 --> 00:45:42.040
And that also then played out with dad would come home frustrated

565
00:45:42.040 --> 00:45:43.200
because he didn't like his job.

566
00:45:43.200 --> 00:45:46.620
And I would, but it would be the same feeling of I'm the one, basically,

567
00:45:46.620 --> 00:45:51.840
I'm the one who has to be responsible to manage their emotions.

568
00:45:52.060 --> 00:45:57.240
And I think what I've noticed is it's just come out in more than just that.

569
00:45:57.240 --> 00:45:58.980
I've been seeing it at work too.

570
00:45:58.980 --> 00:46:03.620
I carry, I just carry the weight of so many things, probably more

571
00:46:03.620 --> 00:46:06.660
than what my actual role requires.

572
00:46:07.080 --> 00:46:09.100
And it's just kind of been like that my whole life.

573
00:46:09.100 --> 00:46:12.740
So the responsible one, I guess, the counterfeit.

574
00:46:14.100 --> 00:46:14.360
All right.

575
00:46:14.360 --> 00:46:15.580
So let's ask a question.

576
00:46:16.020 --> 00:46:16.260
Yeah.

577
00:46:16.300 --> 00:46:17.740
Let's ask ourselves this question.

578
00:46:18.300 --> 00:46:19.780
What would happen?

579
00:46:20.420 --> 00:46:20.900
Okay.

580
00:46:21.900 --> 00:46:23.620
If, how do you say your name?

581
00:46:24.020 --> 00:46:24.460
Anya.

582
00:46:25.140 --> 00:46:25.540
Anya.

583
00:46:26.100 --> 00:46:33.700
What would happen if Anya didn't keep other people fixed?

584
00:46:34.380 --> 00:46:41.040
What would happen if Anya didn't do what she does?

585
00:46:42.180 --> 00:46:44.100
What, what would, what would happen?

586
00:46:44.100 --> 00:46:49.360
What is it that you think would happen if you were not responsible?

587
00:46:49.360 --> 00:46:51.640
Like you're saying, what, what do you think would happen?

588
00:46:54.440 --> 00:46:57.600
Honestly, the first thought that comes to mind is I would actually probably be way

589
00:46:57.600 --> 00:46:59.640
less stressed about a lot of things.

590
00:47:00.440 --> 00:47:06.560
Um, I don't know.

591
00:47:06.560 --> 00:47:10.440
I think in some scenarios, I feel like things would, things would be

592
00:47:11.260 --> 00:47:15.100
I think in some scenarios, I feel like things would, would fall apart.

593
00:47:16.060 --> 00:47:16.500
Yeah.

594
00:47:17.140 --> 00:47:18.340
I feel like they would fall apart.

595
00:47:18.820 --> 00:47:19.940
Like, what would that look like?

596
00:47:19.940 --> 00:47:21.700
Like, let's just take your parents for instance.

597
00:47:22.180 --> 00:47:26.300
If you didn't, however, you're showing up that you're calling the responsible one.

598
00:47:27.100 --> 00:47:31.220
If you didn't do whatever that looks like, what do you think, what

599
00:47:31.220 --> 00:47:32.020
do you think would happen?

600
00:47:32.020 --> 00:47:32.860
What would it look like?

601
00:47:32.860 --> 00:47:40.200
Um, I'm trying to, would mom, would mom and dad like fight and get divorced?

602
00:47:40.560 --> 00:47:44.400
Um, would like, like, would, would mom not get out of bed?

603
00:47:44.400 --> 00:47:48.160
Would she just, you know, like, I mean, like, I don't know what the scenarios

604
00:47:48.160 --> 00:47:52.400
are, like what would happen if you did not show up in this energy that

605
00:47:52.400 --> 00:47:53.640
you're talking about right now?

606
00:47:56.920 --> 00:47:59.800
Cause I think it's important for you to just go ahead and do what you're doing.

607
00:48:00.780 --> 00:48:07.100
Cause I think it's important for you to just go ahead and face, like the truth

608
00:48:07.100 --> 00:48:14.340
of this is what I think would happen if I didn't continue to be in this counterfeit

609
00:48:14.740 --> 00:48:16.500
and then go ahead and let it happen.

610
00:48:17.020 --> 00:48:19.860
And because I guarantee you, it's not going to look like whatever

611
00:48:19.860 --> 00:48:20.980
it is that you're fearing.

612
00:48:21.540 --> 00:48:21.780
Yeah.

613
00:48:21.780 --> 00:48:26.620
And at the same time, you know, you have to let things fall apart.

614
00:48:26.660 --> 00:48:27.380
You have to.

615
00:48:28.820 --> 00:48:29.060
Yeah.

616
00:48:29.240 --> 00:48:34.600
The only way out of this is literally to allow the poop to hit the fan.

617
00:48:37.520 --> 00:48:38.080
You have to.

618
00:48:38.560 --> 00:48:38.800
Yeah.

619
00:48:38.800 --> 00:48:42.240
So I just want to know, because it's never what we think.

620
00:48:42.480 --> 00:48:44.520
What do you think that looks like?

621
00:48:45.280 --> 00:48:46.080
What are you afraid of?

622
00:48:48.980 --> 00:48:52.800
That's where I'm like, I'm not even sure if I know, I know.

623
00:48:54.760 --> 00:48:55.320
Right.

624
00:48:55.680 --> 00:48:56.320
Yeah.

625
00:48:56.860 --> 00:48:58.480
Cause no, they would definitely not.

626
00:48:58.480 --> 00:49:02.900
Like they've been so committed to each other through all of this.

627
00:49:03.660 --> 00:49:05.700
And I've probably, I'm seeing that more now.

628
00:49:05.700 --> 00:49:09.940
So I have zero fear of if I don't step into those places, they're

629
00:49:09.940 --> 00:49:10.980
not going to be together.

630
00:49:11.580 --> 00:49:12.140
Zero.

631
00:49:12.460 --> 00:49:12.820
None.

632
00:49:12.900 --> 00:49:13.340
Okay.

633
00:49:13.500 --> 00:49:17.220
So maybe you stepping into those places is keeping dad from stepping

634
00:49:17.220 --> 00:49:18.740
up the way he needs to in life.

635
00:49:19.380 --> 00:49:22.540
Cause here's the thing that we don't understand is that when we are in our

636
00:49:22.540 --> 00:49:24.100
counterfeits, whatever they are.

637
00:49:24.500 --> 00:49:24.660
Okay.

638
00:49:24.680 --> 00:49:26.200
Anya is telling us for a counterfeit.

639
00:49:26.200 --> 00:49:27.280
We really appreciate that.

640
00:49:27.280 --> 00:49:29.160
Cause that's a catalyst for all of us right now.

641
00:49:29.720 --> 00:49:32.960
But when we show up in our counterfeits, especially counterfeits that are.

642
00:49:33.400 --> 00:49:38.760
Uh, people fixers or pleasers or, you know, um, you know, toxic, uh,

643
00:49:38.800 --> 00:49:41.800
codependent kind of trauma, bondings and different things.

644
00:49:41.800 --> 00:49:46.240
When we do that, we're actually keeping that other person stuck with us.

645
00:49:47.560 --> 00:49:51.960
It's not just us that staying stuck in these counterfeits, all

646
00:49:51.960 --> 00:49:54.280
these other people are stuck too.

647
00:49:54.540 --> 00:49:58.220
And yes, it is true that when we decide to show up as our real selves,

648
00:49:58.220 --> 00:49:59.980
when we decide to say no, when we decide.

649
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.920
to, you know, not do the things that we've done in the past that we know are not good,

650
00:50:04.480 --> 00:50:09.600
there is going to be fallout. We don't, we're afraid of what that looks like. We're afraid

651
00:50:09.600 --> 00:50:14.640
of conflict. We're afraid of people not loving us anymore or people not, you know,

652
00:50:16.400 --> 00:50:21.600
people abandoning us because now we're not what they want or whatever. We're afraid of that stuff,

653
00:50:21.600 --> 00:50:27.440
but we have to face it. And those other people have to face it too. And it is true that there

654
00:50:27.440 --> 00:50:34.240
are some relationships that could even possibly end if we won't play the false role anymore.

655
00:50:35.440 --> 00:50:37.440
Those relationships have to end and they should.

656
00:50:41.920 --> 00:50:46.880
Look, I'm not saying it's easy. I actually lost my best friend of 20 plus years.

657
00:50:46.880 --> 00:50:56.800
She barely ever even talks to me now. And the reason why was because I was,

658
00:50:58.400 --> 00:51:06.400
didn't want to show up as the giver and her, the taker anymore. It was a very one-sided friendship,

659
00:51:07.680 --> 00:51:13.600
you know, best friends. But the problem is, is that we weren't best friends because a best

660
00:51:13.600 --> 00:51:24.400
friendship is a reciprocal friendship, right? And it wasn't reciprocal and it never had been

661
00:51:24.400 --> 00:51:33.200
reciprocal. It was very one-sided. And finally, instead of just secretly resenting her and always

662
00:51:33.200 --> 00:51:39.280
feeling unsupported, like she was my maid of honor and she didn't do anything. She didn't help me.

663
00:51:39.280 --> 00:51:44.080
She didn't go to me to pick out my dress. She wasn't there for the fittings. She didn't ask me

664
00:51:44.080 --> 00:51:49.120
what I needed. In fact, one of my other bridesmaids that I should have made my maid of honor was there.

665
00:51:49.120 --> 00:51:52.960
She made, you know, help me make all the decorations and do all the things and all that.

666
00:51:52.960 --> 00:51:56.880
And my maid of honor didn't plan my bachelorette party, didn't do anything

667
00:51:57.680 --> 00:52:02.560
because that was my best friend. And I gave her that role that she didn't deserve.

668
00:52:03.440 --> 00:52:10.080
And that's just like one little snippet of all the different things that had built up over the years.

669
00:52:10.080 --> 00:52:14.320
But I always forgave her because I never even called her out on any of it because she was my

670
00:52:14.320 --> 00:52:25.120
best friend, right? And then one day, I just realized that I really resented her. And it was

671
00:52:25.120 --> 00:52:31.440
causing me to have a lot of bitterness building up in my heart. And so I finally just said, hey,

672
00:52:31.440 --> 00:52:44.400
you know, we're not best friends. And we're not. And we never had been. And now we don't have bad

673
00:52:44.400 --> 00:52:49.360
blood. There's definitely forgiveness there, but there's also not that fake relationship anymore

674
00:52:49.360 --> 00:53:00.880
either. Feel me? Who would be honest and say that you have some type of counterfeit that

675
00:53:00.960 --> 00:53:06.400
if you stopped being it, that you would lose a relationship over it?

676
00:53:11.600 --> 00:53:17.680
Lori said she would lose one. Melissa said she would lose one. Florence said, yes, me.

677
00:53:20.960 --> 00:53:23.680
But you guys, it's worth it because when you make that space,

678
00:53:24.640 --> 00:53:27.360
actually it gets filled with someone else and something else.

679
00:53:27.760 --> 00:53:28.560
It does.

680
00:53:33.760 --> 00:53:41.120
The other day, I have, I think I might attract like, um, not like I'm, they think I'm their best

681
00:53:41.120 --> 00:53:46.320
friend, but they're not my best friend. So the other day I was asked by a mutual friend that I

682
00:53:46.320 --> 00:53:51.520
don't see a lot. When I was in Europe, I saw one of my friends and they were like, hey, is so-and-so

683
00:53:51.520 --> 00:53:56.480
really your best friend? Because like, you know, people will shout you out on social media and

684
00:53:56.480 --> 00:54:01.280
be like besties, you know, and different things like that. So they had seen something like that.

685
00:54:01.280 --> 00:54:06.080
And they're like, Hey, is so-and-so really your best friend? Um, and I was like, well,

686
00:54:06.080 --> 00:54:12.000
we're good friends. And they're like, but are you best friends? And I said, well, to be honest,

687
00:54:12.000 --> 00:54:16.800
I would not, I would not feel comfortable calling them out on anything. Like I wouldn't feel

688
00:54:16.800 --> 00:54:21.440
comfortable calling them out. And they're like, well, then you're not best friends.

689
00:54:21.840 --> 00:54:26.560
And I'm like, you're right. We're not. You guys, if you have a close friendship that you would not

690
00:54:26.560 --> 00:54:34.480
feel comfortable challenging them, okay. You wouldn't feel comfortable telling them that

691
00:54:34.480 --> 00:54:39.360
something that they're doing is probably not good for them or wise. If you would not feel

692
00:54:39.360 --> 00:54:43.520
comfortable bringing correction, kind of check you before you wreck you kind of energy, that's

693
00:54:43.920 --> 00:54:52.880
not your best friend. It's not. Okay. I don't know why we're harping on friends right now, but

694
00:54:54.880 --> 00:54:56.080
friends are really important.

695
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:01.760
important part of our lives.

696
00:55:01.760 --> 00:55:03.920
And if you don't have close friends

697
00:55:03.920 --> 00:55:07.080
and you have counterfeit friends, or you have frenemies,

698
00:55:07.080 --> 00:55:09.480
you have people who are jealous or envious of you,

699
00:55:09.480 --> 00:55:11.800
you have people that have been in your life for a long time,

700
00:55:11.800 --> 00:55:14.480
but you know that they're holding you back

701
00:55:14.480 --> 00:55:17.120
because they're always really negative about your progress

702
00:55:17.120 --> 00:55:18.760
or your dreams or things, you know,

703
00:55:18.760 --> 00:55:20.280
they don't clap when you win,

704
00:55:20.280 --> 00:55:22.360
it's time for you to get some new friends.

705
00:55:24.000 --> 00:55:24.840
Okay?

706
00:55:27.680 --> 00:55:28.520
Cool.

707
00:55:30.960 --> 00:55:32.640
Lucy just lost a friend.

708
00:55:36.320 --> 00:55:38.160
Virginia lost some friends.

709
00:55:39.080 --> 00:55:42.280
Laura says she finally has authentic friends.

710
00:55:42.280 --> 00:55:44.240
Alicia's lost several.

711
00:55:44.240 --> 00:55:47.280
God's beginning to rebuild some authentic friendships.

712
00:55:47.280 --> 00:55:48.760
That's really good, you guys.

713
00:55:50.240 --> 00:55:51.320
That's really good.

714
00:55:51.320 --> 00:55:52.280
Who'd be honest to say,

715
00:55:52.280 --> 00:55:53.560
hey, I would really love to have

716
00:55:53.560 --> 00:55:55.320
some authentic friends in my life.

717
00:55:56.320 --> 00:55:58.600
I would really love

718
00:56:00.840 --> 00:56:04.640
to make some new friendships that could be really like,

719
00:56:04.640 --> 00:56:08.160
almost like family, strong, strong bonds

720
00:56:08.160 --> 00:56:11.840
of mutual reciprocation support.

721
00:56:13.600 --> 00:56:16.240
Emily, Emily wants some friends.

722
00:56:18.280 --> 00:56:21.640
I think I honestly, I think I have a desire for that.

723
00:56:21.640 --> 00:56:24.960
I spend a lot of time with women, as you guys know,

724
00:56:25.480 --> 00:56:27.880
but just because you teach and coach a lot of women

725
00:56:27.880 --> 00:56:32.240
doesn't mean that you have a lot of close personal friends.

726
00:56:32.240 --> 00:56:33.640
And I do have a couple,

727
00:56:33.640 --> 00:56:37.280
but I definitely would like some more, I think, for sure.

728
00:56:38.240 --> 00:56:40.160
Veronica says me.

729
00:56:40.160 --> 00:56:41.160
She wants that.

730
00:56:44.040 --> 00:56:45.760
All right, you guys, here's the truth.

731
00:56:45.760 --> 00:56:48.760
If you want to attack, oop, I hit the camera.

732
00:56:48.760 --> 00:56:50.360
If you want to attract real ones,

733
00:56:50.360 --> 00:56:53.480
you got to be a real one, okay?

734
00:56:54.960 --> 00:56:57.480
Counterfeit attracts counterfeit, write that down.

735
00:56:59.240 --> 00:57:01.080
If you're operating in your counterfeit,

736
00:57:01.080 --> 00:57:04.520
meaning that you're afraid of rejection,

737
00:57:04.520 --> 00:57:07.760
so you're always flattering or you're people-pleasing,

738
00:57:07.760 --> 00:57:10.400
or you're not speaking up about the things you want,

739
00:57:10.400 --> 00:57:11.560
you're just letting the other person

740
00:57:11.560 --> 00:57:12.840
always make the decisions

741
00:57:12.840 --> 00:57:14.120
so that they'll be friends with you

742
00:57:14.120 --> 00:57:17.720
because you're so easygoing, that's the counterfeit.

743
00:57:19.960 --> 00:57:24.240
You guys, nobody is easygoing

744
00:57:24.240 --> 00:57:27.040
to the point where they don't have preferences,

745
00:57:27.040 --> 00:57:29.360
they don't have opinions.

746
00:57:29.360 --> 00:57:33.240
That's not easygoing, that's fear of rejection.

747
00:57:36.840 --> 00:57:37.680
What do you want to do?

748
00:57:37.680 --> 00:57:40.160
Oh, I don't know, what do you want to do?

749
00:57:40.160 --> 00:57:41.000
What?

750
00:57:42.920 --> 00:57:44.320
Oh, you know, I'm just laid back,

751
00:57:44.320 --> 00:57:46.840
I'm just easygoing, Jackie, I'm just go with the flow,

752
00:57:46.840 --> 00:57:49.400
you know, whatever anyone else wants, I'm cool with it.

753
00:57:49.400 --> 00:57:50.720
No, that's a counterfeit.

754
00:57:52.160 --> 00:57:53.960
That's not your real personality.

755
00:57:55.240 --> 00:58:00.240
That is how you've learned to be from some kind of trauma.

756
00:58:01.720 --> 00:58:05.440
Your family growing up, you're the middle kid,

757
00:58:05.440 --> 00:58:07.760
there's all kinds of chaos in the family

758
00:58:07.760 --> 00:58:08.840
because there's a lot of kids

759
00:58:08.840 --> 00:58:10.160
and everybody wants their own way

760
00:58:10.160 --> 00:58:13.680
and you've just learned to sacrifice your desires

761
00:58:13.680 --> 00:58:16.320
in order to keep the peace.

762
00:58:17.320 --> 00:58:18.360
That's not healthy.

763
00:58:19.360 --> 00:58:22.080
You guys, my son is falling in love with a girl right now,

764
00:58:22.080 --> 00:58:25.320
I'm super excited, they're dating, they're serious,

765
00:58:25.320 --> 00:58:27.840
but there's been several cute girls in the past

766
00:58:27.840 --> 00:58:32.160
that liked my son and he never really liked them back.

767
00:58:32.160 --> 00:58:34.000
He went on maybe one or two dates with them

768
00:58:34.000 --> 00:58:35.160
and I would always say to my son,

769
00:58:35.160 --> 00:58:37.840
hey, that girl seems really nice, what's wrong with her?

770
00:58:37.840 --> 00:58:39.600
And he would always have the same answer,

771
00:58:39.600 --> 00:58:43.160
he'd say, yeah, he's like, she's too easygoing,

772
00:58:43.160 --> 00:58:45.400
like she doesn't really have any opinions.

773
00:58:45.760 --> 00:58:48.320
My son was desiring a challenge,

774
00:58:48.320 --> 00:58:53.320
he was desiring not conflict in the way of like pushback,

775
00:58:53.680 --> 00:58:57.000
but he was desiring like a push and pull

776
00:58:58.000 --> 00:59:03.000
that would grow him and help him to expand his horizons.

777
00:59:03.880 --> 00:59:05.280
Makes sense?

778
00:59:05.280 --> 00:59:08.400
And I'm telling you, good men want a woman

779
00:59:08.400 --> 00:59:10.120
who has opinions.

780
00:59:10.120 --> 00:59:11.360
And I'm telling you,

781
00:59:11.400 --> 00:59:14.800
good men want a woman who has opinions.

782
00:59:16.000 --> 00:59:19.640
They want a woman who has her own mind,

783
00:59:19.640 --> 00:59:21.400
has her own preferences.

784
00:59:23.600 --> 00:59:26.640
And so if you don't have those things,

785
00:59:26.640 --> 00:59:28.960
let's get to the bottom of why you don't have them,

786
00:59:28.960 --> 00:59:32.640
because I guarantee you, it's a trauma of some sort.

787
00:59:34.600 --> 00:59:38.960
It's a belief system that you should just be easygoing,

788
00:59:42.200 --> 00:59:43.680
laid back.

789
00:59:46.160 --> 00:59:49.000
How many times have we heard like in movies and stuff,

790
00:59:49.000 --> 00:59:51.400
the guy go, man, she's just so cool,

791
00:59:51.400 --> 00:59:53.320
she's just so easy to be with.

792
00:59:54.760 --> 00:59:57.000
You know, she's like one of the guys.

793
00:59:57.000 --> 00:59:59.960
And then of course, we see that on movies.

794
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:01.760
We're like, oh yeah, that's what men want.

795
01:00:01.760 --> 01:00:03.000
That's not what men want.

796
01:00:04.080 --> 01:00:06.940
Men that are marriage-minded, that's not what they want.

797
01:00:06.940 --> 01:00:08.720
Men that are Peter Pans,

798
01:00:08.720 --> 01:00:10.520
that don't wanna be held accountable,

799
01:00:10.520 --> 01:00:12.360
they don't wanna grow up, they don't wanna mature,

800
01:00:12.360 --> 01:00:15.020
they don't wanna be stretched, yeah, they might want that.

801
01:00:15.020 --> 01:00:18.440
They might want the girl that doesn't have any expectations

802
01:00:18.440 --> 01:00:20.680
and doesn't want anything from them.

803
01:00:20.680 --> 01:00:23.920
It's just easy, go with the flow and whatever they want,

804
01:00:23.920 --> 01:00:28.000
okay, but men that want wives, that's not what they want.

805
01:00:28.080 --> 01:00:31.240
And you don't want those Peter Pans.

806
01:00:31.240 --> 01:00:32.240
You don't want them.

807
01:00:35.120 --> 01:00:36.480
Uh-huh, that's what I said.

808
01:00:44.760 --> 01:00:46.000
And then we go back to childhood.

809
01:00:46.000 --> 01:00:47.280
See what Marsha's saying here?

810
01:00:47.280 --> 01:00:48.800
She's saying, I was never allowed

811
01:00:48.800 --> 01:00:50.680
to have my own opinion growing up.

812
01:00:51.640 --> 01:00:52.480
Uh-huh.

813
01:00:56.360 --> 01:00:58.600
Did anyone ever have that growing up in your family?

814
01:00:58.600 --> 01:01:00.680
You try to voice something and someone say,

815
01:01:00.680 --> 01:01:01.760
nobody asked you?

816
01:01:04.200 --> 01:01:06.680
Anyone come from a family when their kids

817
01:01:06.680 --> 01:01:08.860
are supposed to be seen and not heard?

818
01:01:10.340 --> 01:01:12.440
You never had a say?

819
01:01:12.440 --> 01:01:14.960
Nobody cared how you felt about anything?

820
01:01:14.960 --> 01:01:16.640
This is what the adults had decided

821
01:01:16.640 --> 01:01:18.700
and that was what was gonna happen.

822
01:01:18.700 --> 01:01:20.100
You didn't have a voice.

823
01:01:21.160 --> 01:01:22.000
Anybody?

824
01:01:25.800 --> 01:01:29.520
Okay, Eris said yes, Sarah said yes.

825
01:01:35.120 --> 01:01:36.600
Marsha already said that.

826
01:01:46.280 --> 01:01:48.600
I'm gonna go back to the friend group for a minute

827
01:01:48.640 --> 01:01:51.800
because Rebecca made a point that I think is really good.

828
01:01:51.800 --> 01:01:55.120
As you grow, it hurts bad when so many have to go

829
01:01:55.120 --> 01:01:57.060
or you let them go, but it's so worth it

830
01:01:57.060 --> 01:01:58.560
when you're left with a small tribe

831
01:01:58.560 --> 01:02:00.480
of ride or die partners in life.

832
01:02:00.480 --> 01:02:03.420
And you guys, all you need is a small circle.

833
01:02:04.400 --> 01:02:08.080
You don't need to have tons and tons of friends.

834
01:02:08.080 --> 01:02:11.320
I don't even think that we have the bandwidth for that.

835
01:02:11.320 --> 01:02:16.080
Acquaintances, community, sure,

836
01:02:16.080 --> 01:02:19.000
but the people that you let in your inner, inner circle

837
01:02:19.000 --> 01:02:21.220
that are really close to you and know you the best,

838
01:02:21.220 --> 01:02:23.120
it's gonna be a small group of people.

839
01:02:26.000 --> 01:02:26.840
It is.

840
01:02:27.740 --> 01:02:32.020
Like you guys know me, you know, you joined my program,

841
01:02:32.020 --> 01:02:35.200
you've heard me teach probably a lot of times.

842
01:02:35.200 --> 01:02:37.360
And so there's a certain type of familiarity

843
01:02:37.360 --> 01:02:39.460
that's built there, but you don't know me.

844
01:02:40.880 --> 01:02:43.440
You know me, but you don't know me, right?

845
01:02:44.440 --> 01:02:46.740
And I may get to know some of you,

846
01:02:47.920 --> 01:02:50.560
may even end up matchmaking some of you, different things,

847
01:02:50.560 --> 01:02:53.440
and I may know you, but I don't know you.

848
01:02:55.100 --> 01:02:58.140
The people that we let into those inner,

849
01:02:59.280 --> 01:03:02.960
inner intimacy, into me see places,

850
01:03:02.960 --> 01:03:04.720
those are gonna be very few people.

851
01:03:07.800 --> 01:03:10.720
By Sprint, or is that just the name of your phone?

852
01:03:11.680 --> 01:03:14.280
Is that just the name of your carrier that's on there?

853
01:03:19.840 --> 01:03:22.320
All right, well, we just speak healing over you right now.

854
01:03:22.320 --> 01:03:24.960
Father, we just declare that that cough is gone

855
01:03:24.960 --> 01:03:26.920
in Jesus' name.

856
01:03:26.920 --> 01:03:28.960
Whatever's causing it, Lord.

857
01:03:28.960 --> 01:03:32.600
Inflammation, bacteria, we just ask God

858
01:03:32.600 --> 01:03:36.860
that that would totally leave her body, Tammy's body.

859
01:03:38.080 --> 01:03:39.560
Thank you, Lord.

860
01:03:39.560 --> 01:03:40.680
Middle child syndrome.

861
01:03:40.680 --> 01:03:42.460
My opinion wasn't even heard or acknowledged.

862
01:03:42.460 --> 01:03:45.100
I'm also a middle child, yes.

863
01:03:49.000 --> 01:03:51.120
I struggle to recognize if I have discernment

864
01:03:51.120 --> 01:03:54.480
about friendships or if it's a critical spirit, okay?

865
01:03:54.480 --> 01:03:56.320
If you've been hurt by a lot of friendships,

866
01:03:56.320 --> 01:03:59.960
then it's possible that you could be trying

867
01:03:59.960 --> 01:04:04.960
to kind of pull away before they pull away from you.

868
01:04:05.880 --> 01:04:07.760
You guys, all of the same things

869
01:04:07.760 --> 01:04:09.640
that we apply to romantic relationships

870
01:04:09.640 --> 01:04:11.320
where we're looking for red flags

871
01:04:11.320 --> 01:04:14.560
and we're wanna, you know, we don't wanna get hurt,

872
01:04:14.560 --> 01:04:18.080
we wall ourselves off, we do that in other relationships,

873
01:04:18.080 --> 01:04:19.560
too, not just romance.

874
01:04:21.560 --> 01:04:25.160
Remember, I don't know if you guys read this or not,

875
01:04:25.160 --> 01:04:26.480
depending on where you are in the book,

876
01:04:26.480 --> 01:04:30.920
but hurt in relationship, healed in relationship,

877
01:04:30.920 --> 01:04:33.280
that is also hurt in friendship.

878
01:04:33.760 --> 01:04:36.560
That is also hurt in friendship, healed in friendship.

879
01:04:36.560 --> 01:04:38.480
Hurt in community, healed in community.

880
01:04:38.480 --> 01:04:40.520
Hurt in marriage, healed in marriage.

881
01:04:44.560 --> 01:04:47.080
God really wants us to focus on friendships tonight

882
01:04:47.080 --> 01:04:50.400
for some reason, and so you need to know

883
01:04:50.400 --> 01:04:52.880
that from the very beginning,

884
01:04:52.880 --> 01:04:55.080
friendship has been a very important part

885
01:04:55.080 --> 01:04:56.360
of our divine design.

886
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:13.680
Several people at the very beginning of God's entire plan were friends with God.

887
01:05:13.680 --> 01:05:19.200
Friendship is super divine.

888
01:05:19.200 --> 01:05:26.680
Raise your hand if you've ever had a really, really good friend.

889
01:05:26.680 --> 01:05:28.600
They were there for you.

890
01:05:28.600 --> 01:05:31.840
They were understanding.

891
01:05:31.840 --> 01:05:34.360
They weren't out for what they could get from you.

892
01:05:34.360 --> 01:05:39.200
They wanted to give to you.

893
01:05:39.200 --> 01:05:48.000
They didn't let anyone talk bad about you when you weren't in the room.

894
01:05:48.000 --> 01:05:54.240
They also called you out on your stuff and love.

895
01:05:54.240 --> 01:05:57.600
That's awesome, right?

896
01:05:57.600 --> 01:06:02.080
To have a good friend, isn't it so good?

897
01:06:02.080 --> 01:06:09.360
Yeah, it's so good.

898
01:06:09.360 --> 01:06:13.800
I'm feeling like, I know some of you are in the forgiveness portion and some of you, you

899
01:06:13.800 --> 01:06:14.800
know, you're not there yet.

900
01:06:14.800 --> 01:06:18.640
You're in week one or two or three and you're not in four yet, or some of you might be in

901
01:06:18.640 --> 01:06:23.480
five in your past forgiveness portion, but I'm really feeling in my heart like there's

902
01:06:23.480 --> 01:06:32.760
some of us that need to repent for not being a good friend and some of us that actually

903
01:06:32.760 --> 01:06:42.740
need to reach out to someone and maybe even apologize for not being a good friend.

904
01:06:42.740 --> 01:06:48.920
And there's others of us that need to forgive someone who we trusted and loved, but they

905
01:06:48.920 --> 01:06:52.240
weren't a good friend to us.

906
01:06:52.240 --> 01:06:56.000
I'm feeling like there's some forgiveness work to do around the area of friendship.

907
01:06:56.000 --> 01:06:59.000
What do you guys think?

908
01:06:59.000 --> 01:07:02.680
Nikki got your hand up because you had a good friend.

909
01:07:02.680 --> 01:07:03.920
Is that person still in your life?

910
01:07:03.920 --> 01:07:04.920
What about you, Lori?

911
01:07:04.920 --> 01:07:09.840
Are these people still in your lives?

912
01:07:09.840 --> 01:07:11.280
They've been a good friend to you guys.

913
01:07:11.280 --> 01:07:15.280
Have you been a good friend to them?

914
01:07:15.280 --> 01:07:18.660
Good.

915
01:07:18.660 --> 01:07:22.340
Can anyone think of someone who was really good to you in a season of your life, but

916
01:07:22.340 --> 01:07:28.060
you really didn't give that back?

917
01:07:28.060 --> 01:07:31.940
Someone that you might need to reach out to and say, Hey, I really appreciate your friendship.

918
01:07:31.940 --> 01:07:32.940
Thank you so much.

919
01:07:32.940 --> 01:07:37.020
I'm sorry that I wasn't a better friend to you.

920
01:07:37.020 --> 01:07:40.500
I can think of someone.

921
01:07:40.500 --> 01:07:44.700
You know what often happens is that we have this one person that we really want to be

922
01:07:44.700 --> 01:07:45.700
our best friend.

923
01:07:45.700 --> 01:07:47.300
We really want them to reciprocate.

924
01:07:47.300 --> 01:07:52.300
We really idolize this relationship and we want it to be our best friendship.

925
01:07:52.300 --> 01:07:55.660
When there's this other person over here, like the bridesmaid in my wedding, who actually

926
01:07:55.660 --> 01:07:58.940
was a better friend than this other person.

927
01:07:58.940 --> 01:08:00.060
They were there for me.

928
01:08:00.060 --> 01:08:01.060
They did serve me.

929
01:08:01.060 --> 01:08:05.820
They did all this thing, but I didn't appreciate their friendship because I was fixated on

930
01:08:05.820 --> 01:08:08.860
this person becoming my best friend.

931
01:08:08.860 --> 01:08:13.020
I was wanting this person's affection and affirmation and love, and I was taking this

932
01:08:13.020 --> 01:08:16.420
other person for granted.

933
01:08:16.420 --> 01:08:22.100
That's the real thing.

934
01:08:22.100 --> 01:08:23.620
See what Lori's saying here.

935
01:08:23.620 --> 01:08:27.540
In some ways, I feel like that about my first husband who was my best friend.

936
01:08:27.540 --> 01:08:28.540
Okay.

937
01:08:28.540 --> 01:08:30.420
Did he pass away?

938
01:08:30.420 --> 01:08:31.500
Did you cheat on him?

939
01:08:31.500 --> 01:08:33.100
Did you mess up the marriage?

940
01:08:33.100 --> 01:08:36.859
What'd you, what happened?

941
01:08:36.859 --> 01:08:37.939
No.

942
01:08:37.939 --> 01:08:41.100
He was motocrossing and hurt his back really bad.

943
01:08:41.100 --> 01:08:47.180
And it was in the 1990s before we knew what pain medication, what oxys did.

944
01:08:47.180 --> 01:08:53.420
Well, he fell into a really bad addiction.

945
01:08:53.420 --> 01:08:55.460
We were together for over 20 years.

946
01:08:55.460 --> 01:08:56.460
We have four kids.

947
01:08:56.460 --> 01:09:01.380
And so I was his best friend through all that and was doing everything.

948
01:09:01.380 --> 01:09:07.819
But then when he decided to go racing his motorcycle again with no insurance and I was

949
01:09:07.819 --> 01:09:13.380
homeschooling our kids and we, I don't know, just, I just got really angry and my heart

950
01:09:13.380 --> 01:09:16.700
became dead to him because he said, F you motorcycles are my life.

951
01:09:16.700 --> 01:09:17.700
See ya.

952
01:09:17.700 --> 01:09:21.020
And he put studs in his tires and went raced on the ice.

953
01:09:21.020 --> 01:09:23.180
And I just said, I can't do this on purpose.

954
01:09:23.180 --> 01:09:28.660
And after that, I just shut my heart down and then moved my kids into my parents' house.

955
01:09:28.660 --> 01:09:32.859
And you know, but I had tried to help him through his addiction for five years, you

956
01:09:32.859 --> 01:09:33.859
know?

957
01:09:33.859 --> 01:09:44.859
And I wonder, like, if I didn't show up, then he met the neighbor lady who was my friend

958
01:09:44.859 --> 01:09:47.740
and then they were together.

959
01:09:47.740 --> 01:09:54.540
And so then I got really angry and just turned my heart cold to God and said, Oh, you think

960
01:09:54.540 --> 01:09:56.660
I can't go get attention somewhere else?

961
01:09:56.660 --> 01:09:57.660
Watch me.

962
01:09:57.660 --> 01:09:59.580
And it went down a really bad path with my children.

963
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:06.820
And, you know, we just now have resolved this, it's been 18 years in the desert, and I feel

964
01:10:06.820 --> 01:10:10.700
like I never could give my heart to another man.

965
01:10:10.700 --> 01:10:18.500
And I heard your message on these winters over, and God has brought me back to life

966
01:10:18.500 --> 01:10:19.500
this year.

967
01:10:19.500 --> 01:10:28.820
And I feel like there's hope for like a new life for me, my husband and my best friend.

968
01:10:28.820 --> 01:10:37.520
I don't know if I didn't do enough, so I never could let go of it.

969
01:10:37.520 --> 01:10:42.400
And I was able to actually, it was partially through grief share, because my second husband

970
01:10:42.400 --> 01:10:48.200
died, that I found out that my real source of grief never left me, I was stuck in grief

971
01:10:48.200 --> 01:10:53.000
with this first marriage ending, but you weren't really allowed to grieve a divorce.

972
01:10:53.000 --> 01:10:54.000
He laughed.

973
01:10:54.000 --> 01:10:58.480
It was supposed to be like, I could just be strong superwoman and go on, you know, it

974
01:10:58.480 --> 01:10:59.480
wasn't like he died.

975
01:10:59.480 --> 01:11:03.640
And then when my second husband died, I just turned into this grief canoe function.

976
01:11:03.640 --> 01:11:05.480
And I knew it wasn't just him.

977
01:11:05.480 --> 01:11:09.480
And that's when I found out I was really stuck in this original grief.

978
01:11:09.480 --> 01:11:10.560
So I'm sorry to go on.

979
01:11:10.560 --> 01:11:16.320
I just but like, when I think about that, you know, I don't know, was I not?

980
01:11:16.320 --> 01:11:20.960
Because really, maybe I should never have left him, you know, and stayed with them to

981
01:11:20.960 --> 01:11:21.960
that.

982
01:11:22.960 --> 01:11:25.960
So I don't know.

983
01:11:27.960 --> 01:11:33.960
So no, I what I when you're talking, what I hear Holy Spirit saying is that there's

984
01:11:33.960 --> 01:11:39.400
been a lot of things that have been stolen from you, that, you know, God wants to return

985
01:11:39.400 --> 01:11:45.240
a lot of things, a lot of things have been stolen from you.

986
01:11:45.240 --> 01:11:51.320
You know, this, this addiction robbed you, you guys have your marriage.

987
01:11:51.320 --> 01:11:56.640
You know, and, you know, when we love someone, it's very difficult to watch someone slowly

988
01:11:56.640 --> 01:12:02.360
die in front of us, right to make decisions that that's why we harden our hearts, you

989
01:12:02.360 --> 01:12:10.960
guys, our hearts get hardened, because we don't want to feel the pain of what's inevitable.

990
01:12:10.960 --> 01:12:16.360
You know, the betrayal, the unfaithfulness, the bad decisions, the recklessness, all the

991
01:12:16.360 --> 01:12:18.720
different things.

992
01:12:18.720 --> 01:12:22.640
It doesn't sound like you could have stayed in that marriage, it sounds like you had to

993
01:12:22.640 --> 01:12:25.720
separate yourself from what was happening there.

994
01:12:25.720 --> 01:12:30.560
And all that happened was, is he just found someone that would enable him to continue

995
01:12:30.560 --> 01:12:34.360
on the path that he was on, right?

996
01:12:34.360 --> 01:12:37.080
Someone who wasn't gonna say no to that.

997
01:12:37.080 --> 01:12:44.080
The part that I have a hard time giving is, you know, it's like biblical, like, put together

998
01:12:44.640 --> 01:12:48.840
and we had four beautiful kids.

999
01:12:48.840 --> 01:12:55.800
We had become Christians, we were clean from addiction for 19 years and became Christians

1000
01:12:55.800 --> 01:12:58.160
and raised our children in that.

1001
01:12:58.160 --> 01:13:03.160
And the part that I never saw coming was the effect on my kids.

1002
01:13:03.160 --> 01:13:10.160
I'm yelling at him and moving his oven and my son is curled up in a ball crying.

1003
01:13:11.160 --> 01:13:18.160
It's been a lot of years to try to walk through this with my kids.

1004
01:13:18.160 --> 01:13:23.160
And I fell apart as a mom and went back to that old crap.

1005
01:13:23.160 --> 01:13:26.160
And they had to be with me and he abandoned us.

1006
01:13:26.160 --> 01:13:33.160
And I just think, you know, maybe I should have been able to, like, trust, keep my focus

1007
01:13:33.160 --> 01:13:39.960
on God, instead of getting angry and turning away from God and then taking the whole family

1008
01:13:39.960 --> 01:13:47.960
into this trash, you know, regardless of what he did, regardless of him and his addiction.

1009
01:13:47.960 --> 01:13:53.960
I don't know, trusting God or saying that, I feel like I dropped the ball on that, you know?

1010
01:13:53.960 --> 01:13:59.960
Well, all of you guys need to know that God never expects us to trust him beyond our experience

1011
01:13:59.960 --> 01:14:01.960
with him, you know?

1012
01:14:01.960 --> 01:14:07.960
So I just want to let you know that you didn't have enough history with God to be able to

1013
01:14:07.960 --> 01:14:12.960
trust him in those places, okay?

1014
01:14:12.960 --> 01:14:19.960
At the level of believer that you were when all of that was coming against you, you didn't

1015
01:14:19.960 --> 01:14:26.960
have enough history with God in order to be able to trust him with that type of warfare.

1016
01:14:26.960 --> 01:14:34.960
And so the bottom line is, is that the enemy, you know, he wreaked havoc on your family

1017
01:14:34.960 --> 01:14:38.960
and on your marriage, and he's got to pay for that.

1018
01:14:38.960 --> 01:14:43.960
And so the things that have been stolen, the Bible says, have to be returned sevenfold.

1019
01:14:43.960 --> 01:14:51.960
And so I believe that you're in a season of restitution as you've come into this program,

1020
01:14:51.960 --> 01:14:56.960
and specifically where it concerns your children and any kind of grandchildren or any kind

1021
01:14:56.960 --> 01:14:59.960
of legacy that you have going on.

1022
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:06.760
That you're gonna begin to see the blessings in favor of God show up on your children's lives and on their children's lives

1023
01:15:06.760 --> 01:15:10.360
And you're gonna realize that God never forgot about you

1024
01:15:10.920 --> 01:15:13.400
that even though you felt abandoned because

1025
01:15:14.000 --> 01:15:14.640
You know

1026
01:15:14.640 --> 01:15:21.440
You weren't delivered out of those moments and it didn't end the way you thought it should or would when you were trusting the Lord

1027
01:15:21.680 --> 01:15:23.840
that God saw you and

1028
01:15:24.240 --> 01:15:29.800
He saw what was being done to you the injustice of the things that were being done to you guys

1029
01:15:30.160 --> 01:15:35.120
You know via the warfare and the the spiritual things that were happening that you couldn't see

1030
01:15:35.800 --> 01:15:39.560
that there will be restoration for those things and

1031
01:15:40.240 --> 01:15:43.720
You will live to see that in this season of your life

1032
01:15:43.720 --> 01:15:48.960
I believe you're gonna begin to see a lot of it and I do believe that the next marriage that you have will bring a

1033
01:15:48.960 --> 01:15:52.080
Lot of closure and healing to these other experiences as well

1034
01:15:54.320 --> 01:15:56.840
It's okay, it's you guys it's okay to

1035
01:15:57.360 --> 01:16:02.200
Forgive ourselves for not knowing then what we know now

1036
01:16:04.520 --> 01:16:08.440
It's exciting because when I heard your message about putting us in a coma

1037
01:16:09.640 --> 01:16:16.480
You know because I couldn't heal from all of it. I couldn't even deal with it and I was making deadly choices using drugs and

1038
01:16:17.160 --> 01:16:22.240
Leaving my whole life and I came to California because my son called me and said mom

1039
01:16:22.240 --> 01:16:26.640
You know, you're not married and you don't need to be the way if your mom just died

1040
01:16:26.640 --> 01:16:32.040
You don't have to be the daughter and we love you, but we don't need you helicopter mommying us in a sick way

1041
01:16:32.920 --> 01:16:35.800
How about you come here to California and start a new life?

1042
01:16:35.800 --> 01:16:41.040
And it was like one of the best things that happened them and then through this process of hearing that message

1043
01:16:41.040 --> 01:16:45.600
I finally understood that I thought it was through my addiction that it was resentments and anger

1044
01:16:45.600 --> 01:16:49.240
But I learned in grief share and from what you said with the scriptures about God

1045
01:16:49.240 --> 01:16:52.320
Bringing the winter is over with that. It was a broken heart

1046
01:16:53.240 --> 01:16:55.240
I've had a broken

1047
01:16:55.240 --> 01:16:57.240
for a lot of years and

1048
01:16:57.880 --> 01:17:04.800
I'm free of that now and it's so exciting to you know that this new garden. I don't know what it's gonna be

1049
01:17:05.560 --> 01:17:08.400
But that's why I'm here to do this work because you know

1050
01:17:08.400 --> 01:17:13.200
I feel like things are budding around me and God is calling me to a new thing

1051
01:17:13.200 --> 01:17:16.000
And I'm in when I was thinking about this thing

1052
01:17:16.000 --> 01:17:22.120
I put my kids because I was always just trying to be this perfect mom to make total restitution to him and I had to be

1053
01:17:22.120 --> 01:17:26.600
Perfect. I could never be real or tell them the truth or something that might make them mad

1054
01:17:26.600 --> 01:17:29.320
And I just started being really real

1055
01:17:29.880 --> 01:17:34.440
This and letting it fall where it may and and if my kids need to work through some more stuff one daughter

1056
01:17:34.680 --> 01:17:38.880
That's okay. I'll walk with her in it, but I'm not gonna act fake or act like well

1057
01:17:38.880 --> 01:17:43.240
You're not giving me what I need and so I kind of just let it go and I'm just like, okay

1058
01:17:43.240 --> 01:17:47.120
Or act like well, you're not giving me what I need and said I can give her to God and

1059
01:17:47.760 --> 01:17:52.240
continue my authentic self and showing that I am relying on God and

1060
01:17:52.920 --> 01:17:57.840
Because really I used to feel like my children's salvation was if I did everything perfect

1061
01:17:57.840 --> 01:18:02.960
Maybe they'd end up perfected but you know, that's not the way it works that their relationship is between them and God

1062
01:18:03.680 --> 01:18:08.280
So that no reasons I'm beginning to get to a place where I can forgive myself for the mistakes

1063
01:18:08.280 --> 01:18:11.400
I did make you know when I dropped the ball in all of our lives

1064
01:18:12.400 --> 01:18:17.600
Absolutely, and in all of us there's without exception we all have made mistakes and

1065
01:18:18.280 --> 01:18:22.040
So forgiving yourself is one of the most powerful things that you're gonna do ladies

1066
01:18:22.680 --> 01:18:29.800
Forgiving yourself is one of the most important forgiveness templates that you're gonna write out when you get to level two week for

1067
01:18:30.680 --> 01:18:32.680
Make sure that you don't

1068
01:18:33.000 --> 01:18:38.400
Skip forgiving yourself and just forgiving everybody else. You need to forgive yourself and you also need to forgive God

1069
01:18:38.760 --> 01:18:40.760
You didn't make a forgiveness template for God

1070
01:18:41.400 --> 01:18:46.080
There's all kinds of resentments and grudges that we hold against God because we feel like hey, he's God

1071
01:18:46.440 --> 01:18:52.640
He could have done more. He could have shown up differently. He could have stopped that thing from happening

1072
01:18:52.680 --> 01:18:56.080
There's all different types of things that we

1073
01:18:56.760 --> 01:19:02.540
Unconsciously believe about you know God and what he does or doesn't do

1074
01:19:03.080 --> 01:19:08.360
Okay, and so we want to make sure that we're addressing that as well and Laurie said about you know

1075
01:19:08.360 --> 01:19:11.440
This whole time has been a broken heart you guys just like broken bodies

1076
01:19:12.120 --> 01:19:14.120
broken hearts look for medication

1077
01:19:14.840 --> 01:19:16.840
Okay, when our hearts are broken

1078
01:19:16.840 --> 01:19:21.560
It's just as painful as having a broken leg or a broken hip in a lot of in a lot of ways

1079
01:19:21.560 --> 01:19:26.080
it's even more painful than those things when we have a broken spirit and

1080
01:19:27.240 --> 01:19:31.800
We will look to be medicated. We will look for things that help us to

1081
01:19:32.760 --> 01:19:34.760
numb out and

1082
01:19:34.880 --> 01:19:36.360
so

1083
01:19:36.360 --> 01:19:39.280
Please keep that in mind when you've had your heart broken

1084
01:19:39.280 --> 01:19:43.920
The Bible says that God is close to the brokenhearted and those that are crushed in spirit

1085
01:19:44.840 --> 01:19:46.840
he's close to us and

1086
01:19:47.960 --> 01:19:54.200
Because we're in him and we live and we move in or we have our being inside of God. He takes up all space

1087
01:19:54.200 --> 01:19:59.960
He's omnipotent. He's omniscient because of that when we see that typology of he's close

1088
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:05.680
to us? How can he be any closer to us when he's as close as our next heartbeat or our next breath?

1089
01:20:05.680 --> 01:20:12.560
And I want you to really think about that if you're brokenhearted right now or crushed in spirit, that God's promising to be somehow

1090
01:20:13.120 --> 01:20:15.120
supernaturally even closer to you

1091
01:20:16.000 --> 01:20:19.440
than he already is. And what I think is that

1092
01:20:20.560 --> 01:20:23.800
when we're brokenhearted and crushed in spirit, we actually

1093
01:20:24.400 --> 01:20:26.400
have the ability to

1094
01:20:26.640 --> 01:20:31.920
understand how close God is to us. Like we're able to be conscious

1095
01:20:32.880 --> 01:20:33.760
of

1096
01:20:33.760 --> 01:20:36.720
his presence in a way that we are not

1097
01:20:37.600 --> 01:20:39.600
in other seasons of life.

1098
01:20:40.000 --> 01:20:42.000
Does that make sense?

1099
01:20:42.240 --> 01:20:46.400
Because even though he's always with us, it's one of those things where you take it for granted and

1100
01:20:46.800 --> 01:20:49.940
you kind of become numb to his presence, kind of desensitized.

1101
01:20:50.720 --> 01:20:56.080
But when you're brokenhearted and you're crushed in spirit, I feel like that is when you feel his nearness

1102
01:20:56.560 --> 01:20:59.120
even though he's always near, that's when you're really

1103
01:20:59.920 --> 01:21:01.920
aware of it

1104
01:21:02.800 --> 01:21:04.800
more than ever before.

1105
01:21:05.360 --> 01:21:08.720
And so Lori, we all just declare, just declare over your sister

1106
01:21:08.720 --> 01:21:12.560
this is a season of restitution and restoration for her and her children,

1107
01:21:13.360 --> 01:21:17.200
that everything the enemy has stolen is going to be returned with interest

1108
01:21:17.760 --> 01:21:21.040
and that she's going to see massive breakthrough in the season of her life.

1109
01:21:22.640 --> 01:21:24.320
And it's going to

1110
01:21:24.320 --> 01:21:27.600
in one way shape or form, it's all going to work out to her good

1111
01:21:29.840 --> 01:21:34.320
and to the good of her children and her family. So Lori, we thank you for that.

1112
01:21:39.040 --> 01:21:45.600
Guys, I have a spiritual father figure and I've purposed to try to help him

1113
01:21:46.560 --> 01:21:50.320
find a wife and he is dating someone pretty seriously now.

1114
01:21:50.880 --> 01:21:55.760
But his first wife, not unlike Lori's story, in fact, his first wife's name was Lori.

1115
01:21:55.760 --> 01:21:56.880
So it's very interesting.

1116
01:21:58.080 --> 01:22:02.880
But they met when they were kids and they were together all their lives,

1117
01:22:02.880 --> 01:22:06.480
best friends. And just like Lori's husband, she became an addict

1118
01:22:07.840 --> 01:22:10.720
and he was a truck driver, over the road truck driver.

1119
01:22:10.720 --> 01:22:13.680
So he'd be gone during the week and home on the weekends.

1120
01:22:13.680 --> 01:22:16.000
And they had two beautiful daughters and a son and

1121
01:22:16.960 --> 01:22:20.480
her addiction got worse and worse. And they had become Christians

1122
01:22:20.480 --> 01:22:25.120
and he was trying to lean into his faith and that alienated her even more

1123
01:22:25.120 --> 01:22:31.520
because she wasn't willing to give up drugs. She didn't want God to heal her,

1124
01:22:31.520 --> 01:22:35.760
deliver her because those drugs were her God at that moment in her life.

1125
01:22:36.400 --> 01:22:41.760
And that was tangible to her. So she'd become really angry with him.

1126
01:22:41.760 --> 01:22:45.920
And just like Lori's story, she ended up running off with one of his friends.

1127
01:22:47.840 --> 01:22:50.720
In fact, it's very interesting how similar these stories are.

1128
01:22:51.840 --> 01:22:54.720
And she ran off with one of his friends,

1129
01:22:54.720 --> 01:22:57.680
a friend that wasn't going to try to get her to stop drinking,

1130
01:22:59.360 --> 01:23:01.840
wasn't going to get her to stop, wasn't going to try to get her,

1131
01:23:01.840 --> 01:23:05.360
but was going to party with her and and be OK with it.

1132
01:23:06.400 --> 01:23:10.880
And they were separated. And even though she was living with another man,

1133
01:23:10.880 --> 01:23:14.160
he wouldn't divorce her because he loved her and he wanted

1134
01:23:14.160 --> 01:23:18.560
he wanted the marriage to be restored. And he was praying for that.

1135
01:23:18.560 --> 01:23:22.640
God, deliver her. God, heal her. You know, we've been together since we were 17 years old.

1136
01:23:22.640 --> 01:23:29.280
Restore her, you know, all these things. And every time he saw her, she was just worse.

1137
01:23:31.040 --> 01:23:34.480
And so he went to a church service and at the church service,

1138
01:23:34.480 --> 01:23:39.200
a stranger came up to him and said to him, God said, it's time for you to let her go.

1139
01:23:41.600 --> 01:23:47.600
And of course, he knew. Who God was talking about, the stranger didn't know,

1140
01:23:47.600 --> 01:23:52.400
he was just giving him a word of knowledge, but he didn't know who he was talking about.

1141
01:23:52.400 --> 01:23:59.680
But Mark knew. And so Mark released her and surrendered her to the one that loves her more

1142
01:24:01.200 --> 01:24:06.640
than he loves her. And that's her heavenly father. And you guys know, a week later.

1143
01:24:07.600 --> 01:24:14.400
She got drunk and passed out. In the wintertime, outside of her house and froze to death and died.

1144
01:24:16.640 --> 01:24:21.040
And had he not released her before that happened, I don't think that he would have been able to

1145
01:24:21.040 --> 01:24:27.360
recover from that. Because she was always his responsibility, he was always trying to save her.

1146
01:24:28.720 --> 01:24:34.320
He was always trying to fix her. He was always trying to, you know, make everything OK for his

1147
01:24:34.480 --> 01:24:41.120
children and his family. But he had released her. She was in a lot of pain. She was suffering.

1148
01:24:41.840 --> 01:24:46.880
And there was no end to her suffering besides just going home to be with Jesus.

1149
01:24:48.080 --> 01:24:55.920
And that's what happened. OK, it's taken him years to heal his broken heart.

1150
01:24:55.920 --> 01:24:59.920
And now he is living in the same type of restoration and restitution.

1151
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:05.440
that I believe is happening in Lori's life and is going to continue to happen, where things are

1152
01:25:05.440 --> 01:25:12.720
beginning to, you know, the blessings of God are beginning to pursue and overtake him and his

1153
01:25:12.720 --> 01:25:20.160
children. Because they were all devastated by that, obviously, as anyone would be. And it's

1154
01:25:20.160 --> 01:25:25.600
taken years. And even his oldest daughter started to become an addict herself. But there's been so

1155
01:25:25.600 --> 01:25:30.720
much breakthrough and so many things are happening. So I guess the story is to say this, that,

1156
01:25:30.720 --> 01:25:39.680
you know, we don't always see right away Genesis 5020 or Romans 828 working in our lives. But

1157
01:25:40.640 --> 01:25:46.000
God's blessings will catch up to you. They will pursue you and they will overtake you.

1158
01:25:46.000 --> 01:25:51.280
And you will see his goodness in the land of the living. You will. Okay.

1159
01:25:52.160 --> 01:25:55.920
And I believe that Lori, not this Lori, but that Lori, because that's actually what his

1160
01:25:55.920 --> 01:26:04.080
wife's name was. She is free from her suffering and her pain. And she is able to, you know,

1161
01:26:05.200 --> 01:26:09.600
not have to, because some people can't handle this life. You guys know that, right?

1162
01:26:11.280 --> 01:26:14.720
And there have been people that some of you do, I feel like Holy Spirit's on this too. You've been

1163
01:26:14.720 --> 01:26:19.280
upset at people because they made bad decisions and those bad decisions

1164
01:26:19.520 --> 01:26:25.040
turned into them losing their lives. And, you know, you felt so abandoned and so betrayed by

1165
01:26:25.040 --> 01:26:30.000
them and you miss them and you're so sad, whether it was a parent or a sibling or someone else in

1166
01:26:30.000 --> 01:26:35.120
your life. And I just wanted to let you know that those people were too fragile for this world.

1167
01:26:35.120 --> 01:26:40.160
They couldn't handle it here. This world is wicked, y'all. This is a hard life.

1168
01:26:41.600 --> 01:26:46.560
It is. Even with Jesus, there's a lot of heart. Would everyone agree to that?

1169
01:26:46.880 --> 01:26:52.640
And so those people, they need to go home and be with Jesus.

1170
01:26:54.320 --> 01:26:58.640
They need to be delivered from this earthly life and they need to go and move on.

1171
01:27:00.560 --> 01:27:04.800
And I want to let you know, don't let religion put any of those people in hell

1172
01:27:04.800 --> 01:27:08.800
just because you think that they died in their sin. That's not for you to judge.

1173
01:27:10.480 --> 01:27:14.720
God doesn't just see the what and the how. He sees the what and the how.

1174
01:27:16.560 --> 01:27:23.840
He sees the why. He says he doesn't judge the works or the actions of people. He judges the heart.

1175
01:27:26.080 --> 01:27:29.840
So he knows things about people that you will never know about them.

1176
01:27:32.000 --> 01:27:35.760
So it's important that we understand that. And so it's time for you to forgive them

1177
01:27:36.640 --> 01:27:41.840
for not doing what you would have done. Just because you're strong, just because you have

1178
01:27:41.840 --> 01:27:45.280
a spirit of perseverance, just because you've been able to be an overcomer,

1179
01:27:45.840 --> 01:27:48.320
don't judge them for not being able to be that.

1180
01:27:49.680 --> 01:27:58.880
Okay? It's time to let go of judgment. It's time to forgive them and move forward.

1181
01:28:04.160 --> 01:28:08.560
I even hear in the spirit someone saying, well, if they would have loved me, if they would have

1182
01:28:08.560 --> 01:28:11.760
loved our children, you know, they wouldn't have made those decisions. And that doesn't

1183
01:28:11.760 --> 01:28:14.960
have to be someone who's died. It could be someone who's still living in their sin on earth.

1184
01:28:16.480 --> 01:28:20.240
But remember, they're not as strong as you.

1185
01:28:22.320 --> 01:28:27.920
They're not. Just be thankful that God gave you the spirit of an overcomer.

1186
01:28:31.200 --> 01:28:34.240
Be thankful for that. Instead of judging people that don't,

1187
01:28:34.240 --> 01:28:37.360
haven't been able to overcome, thank God that you have.

1188
01:28:39.520 --> 01:28:45.280
That's a shift. Make that shift. Okay? So Father God, we thank you for this time

1189
01:28:45.280 --> 01:28:49.760
together tonight. We thank you for all the amazing revelation and wisdom and truth,

1190
01:28:49.760 --> 01:28:55.280
this time of sharing and being vulnerable, confessing. Your word says, if we confess

1191
01:28:55.280 --> 01:29:02.080
our faults, our weaknesses, our frailties, even our sin to one another, we will be healed.

1192
01:29:02.080 --> 01:29:07.680
And so Father, I pray that healing would find all of us in our weakest and most vulnerable

1193
01:29:07.680 --> 01:29:14.640
places tonight. Thank you, Lord. We pray that you would teach us and show us and heal us and grow us

1194
01:29:15.280 --> 01:29:21.120
continue to reveal and heal, help us to be self-aware, help us to not put up with

1195
01:29:21.120 --> 01:29:27.840
counterfeits in our lives, Lord, but to desire true, authentic identity through the finished

1196
01:29:27.840 --> 01:29:34.080
work of the cross in Jesus name. Amen. All right. I love you ladies. This is also recorded. Go watch

1197
01:29:34.080 --> 01:29:38.000
the first recording from today too. If you want to hear some other good stuff, it's been two great

1198
01:29:38.000 --> 01:29:43.840
sessions today. And, um, let's see, I think we're going to invite everyone to pass sessions this

1199
01:29:43.840 --> 01:29:49.840
week. Cause it's about prophetic processing of your promises. And so, um, look for that invitation

1200
01:29:49.840 --> 01:29:56.080
cause it is tomorrow night. Um, look for that in, is it tomorrow night? Yes. Look for that invitation,

1201
01:29:56.080 --> 01:29:59.680
um, in your groups, your Facebook group, or the app with the link.

1202
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:03.360
you guys would wanna join that session.

1203
01:30:03.360 --> 01:30:06.520
It's usually a path three session, so it's for phase three,

1204
01:30:06.520 --> 01:30:09.360
but I think we're gonna let everyone come that wants to.

1205
01:30:09.360 --> 01:30:10.480
All right, so see you soon.

1206
01:30:10.480 --> 01:30:11.320
Bye, everybody.