WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:11.680 There we go, welcome to October, what is it, 4th today, 5th, something like that, 6th, 2 00:00:11.680 --> 00:00:16.640 5th, 7th, October 7th men's heart check-in. 3 00:00:16.640 --> 00:00:22.400 So guys, so anybody else want to share anything that's on their heart tonight to start out 4 00:00:22.400 --> 00:00:23.400 with? 5 00:00:23.400 --> 00:00:27.800 What's been going on with you? 6 00:00:27.800 --> 00:00:34.000 We had a pretty good talk last week, and I don't know if anybody has any reflections 7 00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:35.480 on that. 8 00:00:35.480 --> 00:00:46.480 Paul, Brant, I know you made a comment last week at the end, you were just kind of uplifted, 9 00:00:46.480 --> 00:00:50.600 I think you were just kind of encouraged last week, so I was wondering what that was about, 10 00:00:50.600 --> 00:00:53.920 I don't know if you were just lifted up or there's just kind of an encouraging moment, 11 00:00:54.920 --> 00:00:57.120 I don't know if there's more you wanted to share on that. 12 00:00:57.120 --> 00:01:01.320 Wow, I think back a whole week, sorry. 13 00:01:01.320 --> 00:01:02.640 I know, that's tough, isn't it? 14 00:01:02.640 --> 00:01:05.640 I'm not in that same space right now, sorry about that. 15 00:01:05.640 --> 00:01:06.640 It's okay. 16 00:01:06.640 --> 00:01:14.800 It's nothing with you, I'm just, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it's coming back to me now, it 17 00:01:14.800 --> 00:01:23.840 was just, yeah, actually now that I just opened the door to that recess in my brain, I guess, 18 00:01:24.760 --> 00:01:30.040 it was good hearing all the men just talk about different things that they might want 19 00:01:30.040 --> 00:01:38.080 to do, and just kind of open my mind to what life could be like, and just going after different 20 00:01:38.080 --> 00:01:47.960 ventures, goal setting, kind of took on a new identity, the concept of goal setting, 21 00:01:47.960 --> 00:01:51.680 I don't know if there's another way, I've thought of that before, I mean I never do 22 00:01:52.120 --> 00:01:56.760 New Year's resolutions, you know, because it's just like, because of connotation within 23 00:01:56.760 --> 00:02:04.480 me that, whatever, it just feels like it's just performance, but that was different, 24 00:02:04.480 --> 00:02:11.680 it was different last week, it was just kind of, made me think, and maybe it was more relational 25 00:02:11.680 --> 00:02:17.080 just hearing guys, seeing, hearing, you know what I mean? 26 00:02:17.080 --> 00:02:21.040 That's exactly what I wanted you to kind of highlight, was because, you know, that's 27 00:02:21.040 --> 00:02:34.280 the reason that I was getting into that subject matter, because, I think, for New Year's resolution, 28 00:02:34.280 --> 00:02:38.840 it's a perfect example of the pressure that some people get, I don't know if it's like 29 00:02:39.840 --> 00:02:47.680 some people, like, you know, but it's very common for people to start setting goals at 30 00:02:47.680 --> 00:02:51.680 the New Year, right, like what's magical about the New Year, I don't know, I can't think 31 00:02:51.680 --> 00:02:55.920 actually magical about the New Year, it's nothing really different, it's just sometimes 32 00:02:55.920 --> 00:03:03.440 it gives you an opportunity, as far as a date on the calendar, to be able to make a new 33 00:03:03.440 --> 00:03:08.080 start, and so it's just a reminder to say, okay, maybe I can renew this commitment, maybe 34 00:03:08.080 --> 00:03:16.000 I can make a start, but the honest truth is, is that that new start capability is always 35 00:03:16.000 --> 00:03:25.760 available, and I think where guys get discouraged is they think it's an exercise in formality, 36 00:03:25.760 --> 00:03:29.840 that they don't trust themselves to be able to fulfill, so then, because you've tried 37 00:03:29.840 --> 00:03:36.800 it before, and then it becomes just a unfulfilled, you know, sort of prophecy in your life, why 38 00:03:36.880 --> 00:03:40.640 make a goal at all, because I'm never going to accomplish it, I'm never going to do it, 39 00:03:41.200 --> 00:03:48.320 it's not going to happen, it's really going to change, and that's kind of where I was getting 40 00:03:48.320 --> 00:03:52.640 to the point last week, is that we can't just set goals for this, you know, single sake, 41 00:03:52.640 --> 00:03:59.760 obviously, but we want to connect with the desire that's on the inside of us, and answer 42 00:03:59.760 --> 00:04:05.040 that essential question of is, what do you want, and that's sort of a lifelong pursuit, 43 00:04:05.760 --> 00:04:10.080 and it's not just one time you answer that question, like, what do you want, this is 44 00:04:10.080 --> 00:04:16.959 my whole life, you know, but you might ask yourself that several critical moments throughout 45 00:04:16.959 --> 00:04:26.080 your life, and in smaller ways, almost monthly, weekly, and even daily, to where you're like, 46 00:04:26.080 --> 00:04:32.800 what do I want, you know, so like, we understand if you're hungry, and you're like, I've got all 47 00:04:32.800 --> 00:04:38.480 these choices, what I want to eat, we're used to those kinds of decisions, but we're not used to 48 00:04:39.440 --> 00:04:44.000 answering the question, what do I want, as far as like, what do I want to accomplish, 49 00:04:44.000 --> 00:04:50.800 what do I want out of life, what do I want to achieve, what do I want, like, great, 50 00:04:50.800 --> 00:04:59.840 and also short seasons, because sometimes, what you want this week, or this month, 51 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:05.680 will connect to what it is that you want in this year and what this year answering that question 52 00:05:05.680 --> 00:05:14.640 will next what you want in the 5-10 years mark. But you have to be pursuing this not from a 53 00:05:14.640 --> 00:05:21.360 position of just like it's never going to happen. When if you can connect desire that's on the 54 00:05:21.360 --> 00:05:30.480 inside of you. I believe from scripture that the connecting to that desire is connecting to God 55 00:05:30.480 --> 00:05:37.280 because God puts the desires into your heart and wants to accomplish those desires. Scripture speaks 56 00:05:37.280 --> 00:05:47.600 to that right and so I believe desires come from within. I don't particularly believe that what you 57 00:05:47.680 --> 00:05:53.040 are supposed to do, what your purpose in life typically comes from without. I think most people 58 00:05:53.040 --> 00:05:57.120 find it from within and whether you know God or not I think there's a lot of people that 59 00:05:57.120 --> 00:06:05.200 serendipitously understand that not even knowing God. I think what's beautiful about that is 60 00:06:06.320 --> 00:06:13.040 that just shows that the character of God in his image whether you even know God personally or not 61 00:06:13.040 --> 00:06:20.240 it still can be something that can come out as a fruit of life because it's a biblical 62 00:06:20.240 --> 00:06:26.560 universal concept. So I think that's even more amazing when people tap into that how much more 63 00:06:27.440 --> 00:06:32.000 should someone who is a child of God who understands they know who God is have a 64 00:06:32.000 --> 00:06:40.560 relationship. They have an understanding more about how God works in humanity that 65 00:06:44.880 --> 00:06:51.440 God has placed inside of them a desire. Desire for what? Desire for him first and foremost 66 00:06:51.440 --> 00:06:55.840 but secondly a desire to do something, to be something, to fulfill something. 67 00:06:55.840 --> 00:07:03.280 Take what he's giving you as skills and talents and put them to use in a career, in a relationship, 68 00:07:04.800 --> 00:07:11.920 in a life's work, in you know self-discipline. There's so many things to ask. 69 00:07:11.920 --> 00:07:20.960 And if you can answer the question in your heart to that question 70 00:07:42.480 --> 00:07:46.960 maybe that connection is better. 71 00:07:49.120 --> 00:07:55.760 Hey Dave, we lost you for the last 15 seconds. Can you hear me now? I was just turning off the wi-fi. 72 00:07:57.360 --> 00:07:58.160 Is that better now? 73 00:08:00.480 --> 00:08:05.920 The audio is better. Okay, I think what it was. You're still a little choppy. I think I was 74 00:08:05.920 --> 00:08:10.880 I'm outside and I was trying to connect to wi-fi my phone was and so now it's better cellular. 75 00:08:11.440 --> 00:08:16.480 So we'll see how that goes. But sometimes the answer to that question the what I want question 76 00:08:17.200 --> 00:08:24.080 manifests in the antithesis is what I was saying with regard to sometimes it's like well I don't 77 00:08:24.080 --> 00:08:29.360 want to be that. I don't want to be that guy. I don't want to be that type of individual. 78 00:08:30.000 --> 00:08:38.559 So therefore I'm going to do better. I'm going to be more authentic. I'm going to be 79 00:08:39.120 --> 00:08:44.560 one of those individuals who's actually a person of my word. I'm going to be somebody who is known 80 00:08:45.760 --> 00:08:52.800 in private even if nobody else knows in private. I'm actually going to be authentically whatever 81 00:08:52.800 --> 00:09:00.080 fill in the blank so that I have not just so you can have strong character. I always think it's 82 00:09:00.160 --> 00:09:08.720 funny how the goal becomes in motivational talk. It becomes something that you aspire to be that 83 00:09:08.720 --> 00:09:14.720 you have to agree first and foremost that that's a good thing. Does that make sense to anybody? 84 00:09:14.720 --> 00:09:20.160 When somebody says hey you should have good character. I understand that principally that 85 00:09:20.160 --> 00:09:25.120 character is a good thing and that you should have good character. But if I don't have any true 86 00:09:26.080 --> 00:09:32.400 sense of even what having good character is you know it means nothing to me. 87 00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:41.440 So I don't want the rhetoric of something that sounds motivational to be placed as a goal. 88 00:09:42.640 --> 00:09:48.480 I want to define what that is and what that is for me if somebody says hey you should have better 89 00:09:48.640 --> 00:09:55.200 character. That means nothing to me because I'm not like I'm not like a character type that 90 00:09:55.200 --> 00:09:59.760 character thing doesn't do anything for me. But if somebody says hey you know what 91 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:11.100 Um, you should be authentic and honest to yourself, whether anybody knows it or not 92 00:10:11.100 --> 00:10:14.460 as an honest person type thing. 93 00:10:14.460 --> 00:10:19.740 Now that means something to me because I'm like, oh man, what I do in my own person and 94 00:10:19.740 --> 00:10:24.060 my own self, sometimes I make an exception for everything for myself, but I'm good on 95 00:10:24.060 --> 00:10:25.060 the outside. 96 00:10:25.060 --> 00:10:29.940 So everybody else sees me as a good person, but I know who I really am type thing. 97 00:10:29.940 --> 00:10:38.460 So if I know who I really am and I'm true, um, in all of those ways, privately, then 98 00:10:38.460 --> 00:10:43.180 I can have this reassurance that man, you know, God's really doing some transformation 99 00:10:43.180 --> 00:10:44.840 on my life. 100 00:10:44.840 --> 00:10:47.460 Somebody else would call that good character. 101 00:10:47.460 --> 00:10:50.140 But to me, the good character thing isn't motivating. 102 00:10:50.140 --> 00:10:55.140 It's the same thing when like, I feel like when people say, you know, um, you should 103 00:10:55.140 --> 00:10:58.860 pray more because prayer is a good thing. 104 00:10:58.860 --> 00:11:04.700 Prayer is like a high virtue, but like, am I just praying more just to pray more just 105 00:11:04.700 --> 00:11:09.860 to say that I pray more so I can tell other people that I pray more, that I'm a person 106 00:11:09.860 --> 00:11:16.940 of prayer or should I want to pray more because prayer is actual communion with God and it's 107 00:11:16.940 --> 00:11:18.540 where I get my answers. 108 00:11:18.540 --> 00:11:20.260 It's where I get my fulfillment. 109 00:11:20.260 --> 00:11:22.600 It's where I get understanding. 110 00:11:22.600 --> 00:11:27.200 It's where I solve the problems in my life that I'm having difficulty with. 111 00:11:27.200 --> 00:11:33.560 See, when somebody describes prayer to be that way, I'm not aspiring to have more prayer. 112 00:11:33.560 --> 00:11:37.760 I'm aspiring to have the answers and solve the problems that are in my life. 113 00:11:37.760 --> 00:11:40.040 Do you see how that makes a difference? 114 00:11:40.040 --> 00:11:44.200 You know what I'm saying? 115 00:11:44.200 --> 00:11:47.960 So I just, I just don't like the motivational speech. 116 00:11:47.960 --> 00:11:55.080 I sometimes like I hear in church community, in like business and fulfillment, I always 117 00:11:55.080 --> 00:11:57.800 want to know, like, I hear what you're saying. 118 00:11:57.800 --> 00:11:58.960 I should have these virtues. 119 00:11:58.960 --> 00:12:01.480 I should have these things, but why? 120 00:12:01.480 --> 00:12:04.760 Like let's get to the nuts and bolts, let's get some more to the root of that. 121 00:12:04.760 --> 00:12:05.760 Does that make sense? 122 00:12:05.760 --> 00:12:10.520 So I've been trying to push on this a little bit from that, from that aspect of like, I 123 00:12:10.520 --> 00:12:16.120 think that's why that question is so important is because if you can answer the question, 124 00:12:16.120 --> 00:12:18.960 what is it you want? 125 00:12:18.960 --> 00:12:20.100 What is it you want today? 126 00:12:20.100 --> 00:12:21.640 What is you want this week? 127 00:12:21.640 --> 00:12:22.640 What do you want to do? 128 00:12:22.640 --> 00:12:23.640 What do you want to accomplish? 129 00:12:23.640 --> 00:12:28.640 What do you want to have done in your life this month? 130 00:12:28.640 --> 00:12:31.280 What do you want to, it's different. 131 00:12:31.280 --> 00:12:39.320 Like Brian Tracy has this methodology where he has you set goals and he's like, if I can 132 00:12:39.320 --> 00:12:45.160 make a magical wand and make one of those goals appear immediately and you have that 133 00:12:45.200 --> 00:12:51.240 and it will make a significant difference in your life, what would that goal be? 134 00:12:51.240 --> 00:12:55.520 And then you identify that goal on a list of 10 goals you've made and he goes, okay, 135 00:12:55.520 --> 00:12:56.680 that's the one. 136 00:12:56.680 --> 00:13:01.480 You go after that one and you go after that and nothing else. 137 00:13:01.480 --> 00:13:05.800 You just do that one thing and you go after that and you accomplish that goal because 138 00:13:05.800 --> 00:13:09.840 anything you set your mind to do, anything you set your heart to do, you can learn, you 139 00:13:09.840 --> 00:13:15.120 can change, you can transform and you can accomplish it if you don't quit type of thing. 140 00:13:15.120 --> 00:13:16.120 That's his methodology. 141 00:13:16.120 --> 00:13:20.280 And that inspired me to talk about goal setting. 142 00:13:20.280 --> 00:13:22.800 And that's kind of why I brought it up last week. 143 00:13:22.800 --> 00:13:30.400 So anybody willing to express or even whether you've written that out or not, whether you've 144 00:13:30.400 --> 00:13:35.860 thought about it or not, anybody willing to express and answer the question, what is it 145 00:13:35.860 --> 00:13:40.600 you want right now in life? 146 00:13:40.600 --> 00:13:45.140 What do you want like either today, this week, this season? 147 00:13:45.140 --> 00:13:48.200 Maybe it's a life pursuit, okay? 148 00:13:48.200 --> 00:13:53.320 So there's lots of different levels to this, but anybody willing to start or try to articulate 149 00:13:53.320 --> 00:13:55.880 the answer to, this is what I want. 150 00:13:55.880 --> 00:13:57.560 I want this. 151 00:13:57.560 --> 00:14:01.480 This would change my life dramatically. 152 00:14:01.480 --> 00:14:02.360 Anybody willing to do that? 153 00:14:10.600 --> 00:14:15.520 This is challenging. 154 00:14:15.520 --> 00:14:16.520 It's not easy. 155 00:14:16.520 --> 00:14:20.240 I'm willing to talk about it, but I think that Rob, I think I saw you unmute yourself 156 00:14:20.240 --> 00:14:24.880 earlier. 157 00:14:24.880 --> 00:14:25.880 I'll go first. 158 00:14:25.880 --> 00:14:29.320 If nobody wants to jump out there, go ahead. 159 00:14:29.320 --> 00:14:34.480 I want a wife personally for me, for me, that's my number one priority. 160 00:14:34.480 --> 00:14:36.360 I have, I have desires for my kids. 161 00:14:36.360 --> 00:14:41.920 I have professional desires, have, you know, I have all that personally for me at the end 162 00:14:41.920 --> 00:14:42.920 of the day. 163 00:14:42.920 --> 00:14:46.000 And at the first thing in the morning, I want to be next to somebody and I want it to be 164 00:14:46.000 --> 00:14:48.200 the person that God has in mind for me. 165 00:14:48.200 --> 00:14:49.680 So I'll put it out there for you. 166 00:14:49.680 --> 00:14:51.320 I love it. 167 00:14:51.320 --> 00:14:54.360 So awesome. 168 00:14:54.360 --> 00:14:55.360 So good. 169 00:14:55.360 --> 00:14:56.360 Thank you. 170 00:14:56.360 --> 00:14:57.360 Thank you, Dana, for sharing. 171 00:14:57.360 --> 00:14:58.360 I love that. 172 00:14:58.360 --> 00:14:59.720 Go ahead, Andy. 173 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:02.000 Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, so I mean 174 00:15:03.280 --> 00:15:07.600 Um, not to be a broken record, but I was gonna say the same thing like I I want a wife 175 00:15:07.680 --> 00:15:10.240 I've been searching for a wife for a long time. Um 176 00:15:11.280 --> 00:15:14.960 And I want to have kids and raise them. Um in the faith 177 00:15:17.600 --> 00:15:22.640 Awesome, I love it. I love it. That's what you're pursuing. That's your number one pursuit right now 178 00:15:23.840 --> 00:15:28.800 So that's the thing. It's just like it's not that you don't develop in other areas. It's not that you're you know 179 00:15:29.740 --> 00:15:32.240 Irresponsible and all the things that you're required to do daily 180 00:15:32.800 --> 00:15:36.480 But it just becomes like this is a this is a major focus for my life right now 181 00:15:37.120 --> 00:15:40.640 Finding my spirit mate finding that one that who is going to be 182 00:15:41.360 --> 00:15:44.240 You know my partner my soulmate my spirit mate 183 00:15:44.880 --> 00:15:46.880 And move into that 184 00:15:47.100 --> 00:15:49.100 perfecting relationship 185 00:15:49.520 --> 00:15:51.520 anybody else 186 00:15:52.480 --> 00:15:59.680 Uh, i'll jump in from a little different perspective. Thank thomas. Thank you for the kind call out by the way 187 00:16:00.800 --> 00:16:01.920 um 188 00:16:01.920 --> 00:16:03.360 I 189 00:16:03.360 --> 00:16:08.640 I'm, actually asking myself that question. And so I only had 15 minutes with y'all last week 190 00:16:08.960 --> 00:16:11.680 Um had my first relationship since I was a teenager 191 00:16:12.560 --> 00:16:15.920 Or since being divorced but even before that as a teenager 192 00:16:16.720 --> 00:16:20.480 Um and really ended up caring deeply for this individual even though it's a short time 193 00:16:20.960 --> 00:16:21.760 um 194 00:16:21.760 --> 00:16:23.760 And so in the middle of grieving this week 195 00:16:24.880 --> 00:16:27.120 It's still grieving. It's been been over a week 196 00:16:28.480 --> 00:16:30.480 Uh still grieving 197 00:16:30.480 --> 00:16:32.640 Lost asking myself like what do I want? 198 00:16:32.640 --> 00:16:37.840 Like how did I get here if I found found somebody's pretty special pretty um unique 199 00:16:38.640 --> 00:16:43.520 I don't believe it was just by random circumstance that out of all the women in the 200 00:16:44.240 --> 00:16:47.040 Program or however many profiles when I signed up 201 00:16:48.160 --> 00:16:50.160 That I picked her out of all of them 202 00:16:51.360 --> 00:16:55.920 So asking myself that question and then in the middle of it also finding myself 203 00:16:56.480 --> 00:16:58.480 uh leading leading to a place of 204 00:16:59.040 --> 00:17:02.240 One of the things I know that I want is to continue this idea 205 00:17:03.120 --> 00:17:07.300 Healing from this idea that i'm prone to self-protection and performance 206 00:17:08.640 --> 00:17:14.240 So yeah as i've been kind of unpacking the last kind of half of our time together. I realized 207 00:17:15.359 --> 00:17:16.960 um 208 00:17:16.960 --> 00:17:21.119 That performance became part of my way of relating 209 00:17:21.760 --> 00:17:25.520 As I got closer to her and as I started imagining a future and as you know 210 00:17:25.520 --> 00:17:28.079 The stakes got a little bit higher a little bit at a time 211 00:17:29.120 --> 00:17:30.960 um 212 00:17:30.960 --> 00:17:32.960 performance and uh 213 00:17:33.440 --> 00:17:38.400 some self-protection was setting in and I I couldn't quite realize it like I didn't have a 214 00:17:38.960 --> 00:17:43.760 Grasp on it. Um, but she was kind enough to hold up a mirror for me at the end 215 00:17:44.720 --> 00:17:46.720 Uh and help me see that 216 00:17:47.040 --> 00:17:52.800 And so again just unpacking that there's still healing that that I desire there. And so if I think about 217 00:17:53.440 --> 00:17:55.440 kind of even learning from this 218 00:17:55.920 --> 00:17:59.040 This our time together. It's what I want is 219 00:17:59.840 --> 00:18:02.160 You know to continue the healing that comes with 220 00:18:03.200 --> 00:18:08.320 Why I choose to self-protect and or why performance still is part of? 221 00:18:09.360 --> 00:18:10.880 um 222 00:18:10.880 --> 00:18:15.120 The mechanisms when I get close when things get a little dangerous a little bit 223 00:18:15.920 --> 00:18:17.920 um risky, so 224 00:18:18.080 --> 00:18:22.400 What do you what area do you feel like you perform in? Um rob? 225 00:18:24.400 --> 00:18:26.400 Yeah, great question, um 226 00:18:27.280 --> 00:18:31.760 I mean I can only reflect on i'll reflect inside this relationship. I 227 00:18:33.040 --> 00:18:35.520 I was super worried about like the um 228 00:18:35.680 --> 00:18:37.280 Um 229 00:18:37.280 --> 00:18:40.880 setting up the circumstances and setting up the events and 230 00:18:41.920 --> 00:18:47.040 really kind of working on a schedule and making sure that there was um 231 00:18:48.160 --> 00:18:50.160 this individual was being 232 00:18:50.160 --> 00:18:53.760 Taken care of and liked and you know really shown 233 00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:59.360 How important she was to me like all of that became more important than just 234 00:19:00.460 --> 00:19:02.460 recognizing and sitting in the moments 235 00:19:03.100 --> 00:19:06.060 Like even as i've gotten some space from it I can all I can all of a sudden I can 236 00:19:06.360 --> 00:19:11.900 Reimagine moments that I was like, oh I missed an opportunity for connection because I was too worried about the next thing 237 00:19:12.540 --> 00:19:15.980 Or what the next thing might look like and how well it should go or how? 238 00:19:16.540 --> 00:19:18.540 Perfect. It should be you know 239 00:19:18.620 --> 00:19:19.660 Okay 240 00:19:19.660 --> 00:19:21.660 so I don't know if that helps but that's 241 00:19:22.060 --> 00:19:25.100 those are just some things i've reflected on the last seven days as I 242 00:19:25.740 --> 00:19:27.900 Again, just try to get some space from it. I grieve 243 00:19:28.860 --> 00:19:30.860 grief the loss it's 244 00:19:31.180 --> 00:19:35.340 I don't know if it's because it's my if you those of you that have more experience, um 245 00:19:36.360 --> 00:19:42.700 Connecting and then kind of releasing you maybe you've been through this but this is my first time and it it feels really heavy 246 00:19:43.180 --> 00:19:45.180 It feels really heavy 247 00:19:45.580 --> 00:19:46.780 Yeah 248 00:19:46.780 --> 00:19:52.940 And I would you know, I I thank you for sharing rob because I know that's extremely vulnerable. Um 249 00:19:53.820 --> 00:19:55.420 because of 250 00:19:55.420 --> 00:19:59.900 This being your first venture first relationship all a lot of the things that are happening there 251 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:06.720 Um, I, I, I know that I feel like that you're processing it also from a position 252 00:20:06.720 --> 00:20:09.800 of like, you know, what are the things that I've learned as well? 253 00:20:09.800 --> 00:20:12.800 So now I said, I know you're probably doing that too, but I just want to 254 00:20:12.800 --> 00:20:20.120 reinforce that encouragement to, um, not be so if it's a case where you're 255 00:20:20.120 --> 00:20:24.040 being heavy on yourself, then stop it. 256 00:20:24.880 --> 00:20:28.020 But if it's something that you're truly grieving, just because you're like, 257 00:20:28.020 --> 00:20:31.220 you feeling like, oh, you know, that was, that could have been whatever. 258 00:20:31.860 --> 00:20:34.500 Um, and that may be valid as well. 259 00:20:34.500 --> 00:20:37.860 It's not saying it's invalid, but what I'm saying is, is like, don't beat 260 00:20:37.860 --> 00:20:40.500 yourself up if that's what's going on. 261 00:20:40.500 --> 00:20:43.620 Now, if it's not that, if it's, if you're not being yourself up and you're just 262 00:20:43.620 --> 00:20:48.060 like, you know, I'm just really trying to figure out like, what's, you know, 263 00:20:48.060 --> 00:20:51.340 what's the next step or how would I do this differently type thing, you know, 264 00:20:51.340 --> 00:20:54.620 and reassessing that, I guess that that can be constructive. 265 00:20:55.060 --> 00:20:58.620 So, um, yeah, I would just encourage you to lift you up. 266 00:20:58.620 --> 00:21:06.020 Like, you know, I want you to feel like that there's going to be hope to have, 267 00:21:06.540 --> 00:21:13.420 be able to do that again, like really soon instead of like, oh, does this mean 268 00:21:13.420 --> 00:21:14.860 I have to go around the mountain? 269 00:21:14.860 --> 00:21:22.140 Like, uh, like, you know, in a really big way type thing, you know, and that 270 00:21:22.140 --> 00:21:24.340 like adds insult to injury, so to speak. 271 00:21:24.340 --> 00:21:26.620 You know, I don't want you, I don't want you to feel that way. 272 00:21:26.620 --> 00:21:27.660 I want you to feel lifted up. 273 00:21:27.660 --> 00:21:33.060 Like, Hey, you know, um, this was just a minor setback. 274 00:21:33.060 --> 00:21:35.180 I'm going to get right back into this type of thing. 275 00:21:35.180 --> 00:21:39.620 You know, like there's worthy pursuit, like to go right after this again, 276 00:21:39.620 --> 00:21:45.380 like still pursue, you know, don't, don't let it be that much of a setback. 277 00:21:46.780 --> 00:21:47.860 I hope that makes sense. 278 00:21:50.060 --> 00:21:50.300 Yeah. 279 00:21:50.300 --> 00:21:51.700 I received that encouragement. 280 00:21:51.700 --> 00:21:52.420 Thank you, David. 281 00:21:53.140 --> 00:21:56.500 Yeah, because that's kind of what I was starting from a couple of weeks ago. 282 00:21:56.500 --> 00:22:02.060 I mentioned this thing because I was, I mentioned my own experience having gone 283 00:22:02.060 --> 00:22:08.620 on vacation and felt very productive, very forward thinking, very like on my 284 00:22:08.620 --> 00:22:10.060 game and all that kind of stuff. 285 00:22:10.380 --> 00:22:13.580 And I felt very strong going into my vacation that way. 286 00:22:13.860 --> 00:22:15.700 And then all of a sudden vacation mode set in. 287 00:22:16.260 --> 00:22:20.260 And then all of a sudden I get back from vacation, having to dive into work, 288 00:22:20.540 --> 00:22:23.900 having to dive into my life, having to dive into all the things that 289 00:22:23.900 --> 00:22:25.100 are staring me in the face. 290 00:22:25.540 --> 00:22:30.980 And I felt like, Oh man, I've got like such a setback here that I got to take 291 00:22:30.980 --> 00:22:32.740 time to go round the mountain again. 292 00:22:32.740 --> 00:22:35.660 Like I had all this momentum and I lost it all. 293 00:22:36.660 --> 00:22:40.180 And this is where I had the revelations is no, I didn't lose it. 294 00:22:40.180 --> 00:22:43.940 I just need to pick it back up where I left and pick it back up. 295 00:22:44.660 --> 00:22:49.020 And so I don't want, I don't want to be discouraged to, to feel like, and I, I 296 00:22:49.060 --> 00:22:54.460 was edifying all of you guys in this group to say that, no, this is just 297 00:22:54.900 --> 00:22:59.100 learning and we might've slowed down and stopped on the path, but we didn't go 298 00:22:59.100 --> 00:23:03.540 backwards, we're just picking up what we learned and we're moving forward because 299 00:23:03.980 --> 00:23:08.700 the goal in front of us and the pursuit of what it is that we're after there, our 300 00:23:08.700 --> 00:23:13.740 desire is more important than the setback. 301 00:23:15.420 --> 00:23:16.500 So that's the thing. 302 00:23:17.020 --> 00:23:21.220 And I think, I think a lot of people waste a lot of time sometimes, or 303 00:23:21.220 --> 00:23:23.340 they get stuck in their own way. 304 00:23:23.620 --> 00:23:29.300 They get stuck in the mud a little bit thinking about, Oh, what's this, what's 305 00:23:29.300 --> 00:23:33.340 that, blah, blah, blah, going around rethinking and this and that, and sort 306 00:23:33.340 --> 00:23:37.860 of like nothing wrong with processing, nothing wrong with reflecting, nothing 307 00:23:37.860 --> 00:23:43.300 wrong with like learning, but we don't want to get stuck and that's my desire 308 00:23:43.300 --> 00:23:49.260 for you guys is, is that you don't get stuck, that you get unstuck and you 309 00:23:49.260 --> 00:23:54.420 don't continue to get stuck, but you get unstuck and you really move forward. 310 00:23:55.220 --> 00:23:59.860 And I don't mean in just relationship again, it has to come back to the, what 311 00:23:59.860 --> 00:24:05.700 do you want, like that has to become so powerful in you, like, what are, like, 312 00:24:05.700 --> 00:24:10.540 if you have to ask yourself that every day, every moment, every hour, even like, 313 00:24:10.540 --> 00:24:11.260 what do I want? 314 00:24:11.500 --> 00:24:12.260 What do I want? 315 00:24:12.260 --> 00:24:12.700 What do I want? 316 00:24:12.700 --> 00:24:13.700 And it's not selfish. 317 00:24:14.540 --> 00:24:18.380 So many believers think that that thing is a selfish desire. 318 00:24:18.380 --> 00:24:18.940 It's not. 319 00:24:19.660 --> 00:24:23.620 What you were trying to do is you're trying to tap into the God given desire 320 00:24:23.620 --> 00:24:28.220 that's been placed on the inside of you and, and letting it out to fulfill it. 321 00:24:28.940 --> 00:24:30.860 Because that's what God rides on. 322 00:24:31.380 --> 00:24:36.100 God is not outside of you trying to coax you into something 323 00:24:36.100 --> 00:24:37.140 that you don't want to do. 324 00:24:38.540 --> 00:24:40.860 That's the essential Christian experience has been. 325 00:24:40.900 --> 00:24:42.900 So that's what religion does. 326 00:24:42.900 --> 00:24:48.980 Religion has a way of trying to make you think that God is outside of you, trying 327 00:24:48.980 --> 00:24:53.700 to coax you in to be better, do something and do a whole bunch of stuff 328 00:24:53.700 --> 00:24:54.700 that you don't want to do. 329 00:24:55.260 --> 00:24:55.740 Why? 330 00:24:55.980 --> 00:24:58.860 Because he's God and you're not, and you're supposed to do want to good, 331 00:24:59.180 --> 00:25:00.100 want to do good stuff. 332 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:08.160 stuff. I'm like, that's bullcrap. Like, your human nature, first of all, before you have 333 00:25:08.160 --> 00:25:13.320 any redemption in your life, you want to go do bad stuff. Like, when you're told, like, 334 00:25:13.320 --> 00:25:18.320 do this, mind your things, follow the rules. What do most people want to do when they're 335 00:25:18.320 --> 00:25:23.640 a teenager? They want to do everything but that, right? That's because, you know, you're 336 00:25:23.640 --> 00:25:28.820 young and you're foolish and, you know, you have youth that you're contending with, right? 337 00:25:28.820 --> 00:25:34.220 You have your flesh that you haven't learned how to manage your flesh in that point in 338 00:25:34.220 --> 00:25:37.580 your life and you're just like, dang it, I don't want to do the good things. I want to 339 00:25:37.580 --> 00:25:40.940 do all the bad things. But then you get a point in your life where you grow up, you 340 00:25:40.940 --> 00:25:45.700 mature and life has its way in you or you might have this redemptive moment where you're 341 00:25:45.700 --> 00:25:50.340 like, okay, I'm finally willing to resolve these things. I'm going to give my life to 342 00:25:50.340 --> 00:25:55.600 God and I'm going to really do what I'm supposed to do, right? And then it becomes about these 343 00:25:55.640 --> 00:25:59.960 pursuits of like doing the good thing, doing the right thing, doing the responsible thing, 344 00:25:59.960 --> 00:26:04.080 doing the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, follow the rules. And it's still hard as hell 345 00:26:04.080 --> 00:26:13.800 to do that because you're just doing the rules rather than finding the desire in your heart. 346 00:26:13.800 --> 00:26:21.760 Like, what is it I want to do? What do I want to be? What do I want to go after? And letting 347 00:26:21.760 --> 00:26:29.640 that be the thing that fires your life. And if it's a relationship or if it's an accomplishment 348 00:26:29.640 --> 00:26:35.120 or if it's a self-disciplined thing or whatever it is, you know, and again, like I'm saying, 349 00:26:35.120 --> 00:26:38.640 it can be temporary because those things can pile up and they can, one thing can lead to 350 00:26:38.640 --> 00:26:45.720 another, right? I am married. I have grown kids. I have grandkids. I've accomplished 351 00:26:45.720 --> 00:26:52.040 those things. But there's things in my life right now that if I don't master them now, 352 00:26:52.040 --> 00:27:03.000 I won't have another 20, 30 years to be more productive, i.e. my health, my stamina, my 353 00:27:03.000 --> 00:27:10.640 stability. I have my fitness. I have to become this way because if I don't, I'm going to 354 00:27:10.640 --> 00:27:18.200 pay the price dearly in about 15 to 20 years. And that's not to scare anybody. That's just 355 00:27:18.200 --> 00:27:25.080 my reality right now. That's just me, right? So that's kind of where I'm at. I love you 356 00:27:25.080 --> 00:27:29.120 guys, like Abram, Andy, you're sharing about like this nutritional thing, like you guys 357 00:27:29.120 --> 00:27:33.360 are like on it, like you're like, you're aware, you're woke to this. You're like, you're learning 358 00:27:33.360 --> 00:27:39.000 all this stuff early in your life, earlier than me. And you're like, you're beginning 359 00:27:39.000 --> 00:27:43.280 to master this stuff. So you're like, okay, I got the stuff on lock. I understand this. 360 00:27:43.280 --> 00:27:47.800 I have these habits. I have these things. This is how I do my life. That's not that's 361 00:27:47.800 --> 00:27:51.640 something you're already mastering. What is it the area that you want to master in your 362 00:27:51.640 --> 00:27:57.520 life is really the question. So what do you want? So who else is willing to just kind 363 00:27:57.520 --> 00:28:06.680 of share a little bit if you if you can, I'd love to hear your hearts. And you know what? 364 00:28:06.680 --> 00:28:12.760 This doesn't need to be something that you've been doing for a while. This may be something 365 00:28:12.760 --> 00:28:17.640 that you just thought of in the last week, or even on this call tonight. You're like, 366 00:28:17.640 --> 00:28:23.560 you know what? That's it. I'm finally going to make up my mind. This is what I want. I've 367 00:28:23.560 --> 00:28:27.160 been thinking about this for a long time. I've been bugging myself for a long time. 368 00:28:27.160 --> 00:28:30.720 This has been bugging at me. This has been eating at me. This has been doing it. I'm 369 00:28:30.720 --> 00:28:33.960 finally going to make a commitment. I'm going to confess this. I'm going to bring this out. 370 00:28:33.960 --> 00:28:38.520 I'm going to share this with the group said, this is what I'm going to be. This is what 371 00:28:38.520 --> 00:28:44.840 I'm going to do. And we're going to be like, yes. Yes. And we're going to champion you. 372 00:28:44.840 --> 00:28:49.880 And we're going to be like, dude, how's it going? It's great. Like, here's an idea. Or 373 00:28:49.880 --> 00:28:54.440 man, don't stop. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's what we want to be. That's what 374 00:28:54.440 --> 00:29:00.600 this that's what this call needs to be for men. Because I've said it before, I'll say 375 00:29:00.600 --> 00:29:06.760 it some more. We need good men. And we don't need just good men who are just good on paper. 376 00:29:07.560 --> 00:29:16.200 We need actually good men to take on the sacrifice of who they are as men. 377 00:29:17.080 --> 00:29:23.800 Most of what men do is they lay down their life. And if you're not like a war hero and 378 00:29:23.800 --> 00:29:27.560 like have a purple heart, you know, a word where you actually got shot or whatever, 379 00:29:27.560 --> 00:29:34.200 got hurt in war, you still are a man that the most one of the most worthy things you can do 380 00:29:34.200 --> 00:29:39.720 is literally lay down your life. You know, do something, accomplish something that you'll 381 00:29:39.720 --> 00:29:47.160 never get recognized for. How many men have built buildings, built roads, built infrastructure, 382 00:29:47.160 --> 00:29:52.520 built the things that we take for granted every day when you flip on the frickin lights and you 383 00:29:52.520 --> 00:29:58.440 expect it to be there? How many of those guys engineered all that crap and never got one thank 384 00:29:58.440 --> 00:29:59.400 you for it? 385 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:07.520 But all of the world takes for granted what men built and engineered and maintain all day long 386 00:30:08.960 --> 00:30:12.160 The planes you ride in the cars you drive in the things you go down 387 00:30:13.840 --> 00:30:15.840 All of the stuff 388 00:30:16.320 --> 00:30:18.320 The financial systems the computers 389 00:30:19.680 --> 00:30:23.920 Men did that i'm not saying i'm not saying women don't do that kind of stuff but 390 00:30:24.720 --> 00:30:26.160 pretty much 391 00:30:26.160 --> 00:30:27.920 That's what men do 392 00:30:27.920 --> 00:30:30.480 They lay their stinking life down 393 00:30:31.280 --> 00:30:33.040 for everyone else 394 00:30:33.040 --> 00:30:37.840 They go provide for they go get up early and they work late to provide for their family 395 00:30:38.400 --> 00:30:40.240 If you're that kind of dude 396 00:30:40.240 --> 00:30:41.520 You know i'm saying 397 00:30:41.520 --> 00:30:43.520 They're the ones that you know 398 00:30:43.760 --> 00:30:45.760 That are willing to go out in the middle of the night 399 00:30:46.320 --> 00:30:48.320 and do this errand 400 00:30:48.400 --> 00:30:53.360 You know that kind of kind of sounds soft, but hey, it's a version of laying down your life 401 00:30:54.400 --> 00:30:56.400 You know what i'm saying 402 00:30:57.040 --> 00:30:59.040 That's when men are their best 403 00:30:59.840 --> 00:31:04.660 Is when we are literally tending the garden when we are literally taking the responsibility 404 00:31:05.280 --> 00:31:08.340 When we're literally laying down our life when we're literally 405 00:31:09.120 --> 00:31:11.680 Doing the things that other people won't do 406 00:31:12.560 --> 00:31:20.240 That's when we are at our best when we're doing that level of service and that is godly and it's holy and it is divine 407 00:31:22.320 --> 00:31:25.840 So the question then is going back to this is like what do you want 408 00:31:26.560 --> 00:31:29.760 It could be just as simple as I want to be that kind of guy 409 00:31:30.800 --> 00:31:35.600 I have another um, I have another thing. Um, go ahead a goal. Um, 410 00:31:36.160 --> 00:31:41.120 so I haven't um really made up my mind fully about if i'm gonna do this or not, but um, 411 00:31:42.240 --> 00:31:46.400 So I told you i've been learning about like holistic medicine and all that. Um, 412 00:31:47.280 --> 00:31:48.400 well 413 00:31:48.400 --> 00:31:54.160 There's a um a form of medicine that most people don't even know exists. It's called german new medicine 414 00:31:55.120 --> 00:32:00.480 And it's like a very groundbreaking scientific discovery and it's like highly um 415 00:32:01.180 --> 00:32:04.240 persecuted by the conventional medical community 416 00:32:05.200 --> 00:32:10.160 and um, but I think from what i'm learning about I think it's real and I think that um, 417 00:32:11.120 --> 00:32:12.000 that 418 00:32:12.000 --> 00:32:16.880 Maybe god wants me to go into it and use it to help people like, you know 419 00:32:17.680 --> 00:32:18.720 be 420 00:32:18.720 --> 00:32:21.200 help help people, you know, like jesus would and it's 421 00:32:21.840 --> 00:32:25.520 Um again, it's a very controversial thing, but it's like what i'm learning about 422 00:32:26.080 --> 00:32:33.760 I haven't fully experienced the healing effects of it myself yet, but i'm learning about i'm gonna work with um a practitioner of it and 423 00:32:34.320 --> 00:32:38.400 see if um, I can get healing on my own and and then you know, I 424 00:32:39.040 --> 00:32:40.960 if I think it's like 425 00:32:40.960 --> 00:32:46.000 A really cool and legit thing. I might be really into it. I might want to actually use it to help people 426 00:32:46.940 --> 00:32:48.960 absolutely 427 00:32:48.960 --> 00:32:50.960 What what an amazing calling 428 00:32:51.600 --> 00:32:52.700 be 429 00:32:52.700 --> 00:32:54.060 reformational 430 00:32:54.060 --> 00:32:56.060 transformational in the medical 431 00:32:56.640 --> 00:32:59.120 Health and wellness industry in that way 432 00:32:59.680 --> 00:33:06.000 Bringing new things to light doing the research doing the work playing your life being your being yourself 433 00:33:06.560 --> 00:33:10.240 The guinea pig in your own life who are like i'm going to try this on me first 434 00:33:10.640 --> 00:33:13.840 And if I live and survive and don't die i'm going to share it with others 435 00:33:14.400 --> 00:33:18.480 You know i'm saying i'm like it's just kind of that radical, but i'm I love it, you know 436 00:33:18.960 --> 00:33:21.040 And this is the kind of stuff that men 437 00:33:22.480 --> 00:33:25.840 Are brilliant at men are good at this kind of stuff 438 00:33:26.640 --> 00:33:29.840 men are willing to take it's kind of like, you know, like 439 00:33:31.360 --> 00:33:33.360 I don't take medicine a lot 440 00:33:33.680 --> 00:33:35.680 I'm, not on any kind of meds per se 441 00:33:36.320 --> 00:33:39.040 Uh, I don't I don't have like but when I take 442 00:33:40.140 --> 00:33:41.600 advil 443 00:33:41.600 --> 00:33:43.520 I'll down three or four of them 444 00:33:43.520 --> 00:33:47.120 And my wife's like you shouldn't take advil. It's bad for you and all that kind of stuff 445 00:33:47.760 --> 00:33:51.680 It's not like I take it every day. I just take it when I have a headache, which is like very 446 00:33:52.300 --> 00:33:57.200 Nominal now, I understand there's probably other ways to do that. But what i'm trying to say is this like my wife 447 00:33:58.240 --> 00:34:00.640 You can't hand her nothing. She's just like what's in it? 448 00:34:00.880 --> 00:34:04.320 Who gave you that to you where did it come from? Does anybody test that before? 449 00:34:04.720 --> 00:34:07.920 She's asking all the questions like women. They're just like wait a minute 450 00:34:08.080 --> 00:34:10.960 I have to know everything about this before I put in my where man 451 00:34:11.040 --> 00:34:13.920 We're just like just give me that stuff, you know, i'm just thinking is it dirty, you know? 452 00:34:13.920 --> 00:34:17.840 Doesn't matter doesn't like just put it in, you know, we're willing to go there 453 00:34:18.320 --> 00:34:20.719 We're willing to take the risk. We're willing again 454 00:34:20.719 --> 00:34:24.159 Like I say we're willing to lay down our life why for the cause? 455 00:34:24.719 --> 00:34:26.719 What's the cause? I don't know 456 00:34:27.360 --> 00:34:31.840 The cause is anything the cause is like my family the cause is like some 457 00:34:32.719 --> 00:34:38.159 Great heroic thing the the new way of doing business a new way of thinking, you know 458 00:34:39.120 --> 00:34:42.560 I'm willing to take the risks and play the part of the fool 459 00:34:42.960 --> 00:34:47.360 to be able to show people a new way like one of the things that for me is like, um, 460 00:34:48.880 --> 00:34:52.800 Um, I was just talking to my to my dad today we had breakfast this morning 461 00:34:53.760 --> 00:34:55.760 And you know, I have a passion 462 00:34:56.560 --> 00:34:57.900 for 463 00:34:57.900 --> 00:34:59.900 reformation in the body of christ 464 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:06.960 because I had an extensive vocational church ministry background that I did years ago, 465 00:35:06.960 --> 00:35:09.440 that I don't do that anymore. I don't do that type of work anymore. 466 00:35:10.160 --> 00:35:16.400 But it frustrates the tar out of me when I talk about it, not necessarily because I have still 467 00:35:16.400 --> 00:35:22.320 hurt from it. I do. But I've gotten over most of that, the personal part of it. 468 00:35:23.120 --> 00:35:32.240 But the reformational part of it to me is still very important because I want the church to 469 00:35:32.240 --> 00:35:40.960 operate in a new form, in a more transformative way, an antithesis to the modern issues that 470 00:35:40.960 --> 00:35:46.800 church is having. And so I don't know what that looks like. Part of that is me participating in 471 00:35:47.360 --> 00:35:53.680 the work that we're doing. Many people accuse us of being a ministry. We're actually not a 472 00:35:53.680 --> 00:36:00.640 ministry. We're actually a for-profit company that provides an online product, an online service, 473 00:36:00.640 --> 00:36:05.840 and we try to over-deliver in that area. It just happens to be in a spiritual, 474 00:36:08.400 --> 00:36:16.000 emotional, transformational industry relationship. And we talk about God a lot. We talk about 475 00:36:16.000 --> 00:36:20.720 spiritual concepts a lot. But many are like, oh, you know, the ministry. And then when they get 476 00:36:20.720 --> 00:36:26.320 upset and they're like, oh, you know, you failed me as a ministry. I'm like, dude, I'm sorry to 477 00:36:26.320 --> 00:36:32.880 say that, but we're not a ministry. We're not your church. We're not your local church. I'll pray for 478 00:36:32.880 --> 00:36:38.880 you. I'll uplift you. I'll love you like a brother in Christ, but I'm not your pastor. You know what 479 00:36:38.880 --> 00:36:43.760 I'm saying? There's a difference in how I'm operating in that way. And it's very intentional 480 00:36:43.760 --> 00:36:49.840 that we're doing it that way because we're not trying to be the end-all be-all. I'm not trying 481 00:36:49.840 --> 00:36:57.200 to be this church that's down on the corner that's trying to take care of every facet of 482 00:36:57.200 --> 00:37:04.240 every human stage in life. We're concentrating on one thing right here, transformational 483 00:37:04.240 --> 00:37:09.360 development, heart healing, as it relates to relationships. That's what we're focusing on. 484 00:37:09.920 --> 00:37:14.720 And that's what we're doing. We're trying to do that well. You see that? That's transformational 485 00:37:14.720 --> 00:37:20.080 to me. That's reformational to me. So that's the kind of work that we're doing. That's what we're 486 00:37:20.080 --> 00:37:24.720 doing today. A year from now, five years from now, 10 years from now, it may look really different. 487 00:37:25.520 --> 00:37:33.840 You know what I'm saying? So I'm allowing God to work through us and develop us and show us 488 00:37:34.800 --> 00:37:39.840 what more of that looks like. So that's just an example of what I'm doing right now 489 00:37:41.280 --> 00:37:46.800 and why I'm doing what we're doing. Does that lighten anybody? Does that help anybody 490 00:37:49.280 --> 00:37:55.760 see anything differently? Did any light bulbs go on on tonight's conversation? 491 00:37:56.320 --> 00:38:04.320 There's one above Thomas's head. Yeah, I can see it. Thomas, you're thinking hard about this. 492 00:38:08.000 --> 00:38:15.120 Yeah. I mean, first of all, Rob, I just want to take a moment to kind of honor and acknowledge 493 00:38:15.120 --> 00:38:18.720 the pain that you're experiencing and to thank you for sharing. And 494 00:38:19.440 --> 00:38:27.360 disconnection, I think, is designed to be hard. I think the way that the universe exists is set up. 495 00:38:28.240 --> 00:38:37.440 So I so appreciate your encouragement, David, to you, Rob, about not dwelling on it. And I'll be 496 00:38:37.440 --> 00:38:43.360 praying for you this week about the right mix of feeling all the feelings and not getting in the 497 00:38:44.080 --> 00:38:51.040 head like you were saying, David. I mean, there's clearly like, you know, a whole lot to be said 498 00:38:51.040 --> 00:38:57.840 about this kind of stuff. I think, you know, coming from the background of believing that both 499 00:38:57.840 --> 00:39:05.120 desire and happiness were sinful, you know, I definitely hear you saying, David, in terms of 500 00:39:05.840 --> 00:39:13.520 that encouragement. I think I was at a really good listening prayer night on Saturday. And 501 00:39:15.200 --> 00:39:22.960 I feel like God was talking to me a lot about how I had given up excitement and thinking that that 502 00:39:22.960 --> 00:39:27.840 was something that you experience when you're a kid or maybe a youth. But the part of being mature 503 00:39:27.840 --> 00:39:34.160 is letting go of that and just realizing that you have, you know, you've been through a lot. 504 00:39:35.200 --> 00:39:39.920 Seen a lot more stuff in the world is a lot more brutal, you know, than you thought it was. And 505 00:39:39.920 --> 00:39:46.000 that God will work stuff out. But I think God was encouraging me to believe that excitement 506 00:39:46.000 --> 00:39:52.880 is possible again. And I think part of that is when I when I think about what you were saying, 507 00:39:52.880 --> 00:39:58.720 I think a lot of it lines up with that idea of, you know, what is it that kind of activates our 508 00:39:58.720 --> 00:39:59.840 hearts? Yeah. 509 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.520 And so I know two weeks ago you gave us the assignment to come up with five, you know, I am statements 510 00:40:05.520 --> 00:40:08.960 And so I've been working on those. It's been tough. It's been tough, but 511 00:40:10.320 --> 00:40:11.960 someone 512 00:40:11.960 --> 00:40:18.560 On Saturday night felt like God gave them the movie Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings for me, which I love 513 00:40:18.560 --> 00:40:20.560 I so much and 514 00:40:20.720 --> 00:40:26.520 kind of the the chief kind of line in that movie at the end of the second act like going into the third is 515 00:40:27.200 --> 00:40:28.760 when 516 00:40:28.760 --> 00:40:32.040 he's told like you have the heart of kind of like 517 00:40:32.360 --> 00:40:36.880 Supernatural power and love and all you need to do is take what you've been given and make it your own 518 00:40:36.880 --> 00:40:41.640 And so I think I tried that yesterday playing. He's a church 519 00:40:43.160 --> 00:40:45.080 And 520 00:40:45.080 --> 00:40:50.800 Brought not just trying to listen to what God wanted which I always try to do like when I'm like leading worship 521 00:40:50.800 --> 00:40:55.000 But trying to bring in my own kind of heart into it as well and say like this is what I feel like 522 00:40:55.280 --> 00:40:58.040 could be present like to kind of 523 00:40:58.760 --> 00:41:01.480 Honor the Lord as well, and I feel like I'm hitting kind of that 524 00:41:02.640 --> 00:41:05.560 Tough thing where it seems kind of contradictory 525 00:41:08.800 --> 00:41:10.600 Where it's like how do you 526 00:41:10.600 --> 00:41:12.600 Only do what the father does 527 00:41:12.600 --> 00:41:16.400 Like Jesus said and how do you only say what the what the father is saying? 528 00:41:16.400 --> 00:41:21.280 But then also bring your heart into the situation. So I'm grateful to be 529 00:41:21.920 --> 00:41:23.400 Kind of trying to learn how to do that 530 00:41:23.400 --> 00:41:28.880 So I did write out like the statements like you encouraged us to do it's it's in rough draft form 531 00:41:28.880 --> 00:41:35.360 But I think that the question of how do you dance with God and be the follower, you know? 532 00:41:35.360 --> 00:41:37.160 but then also be 533 00:41:37.160 --> 00:41:40.280 Kind of present I think is is is something that 534 00:41:42.320 --> 00:41:47.960 That seemed feels pretty deep and that I don't understand fully yet 535 00:41:48.960 --> 00:41:56.760 Yeah, thank you, thank you for the sharing that Thomas if you want to share any of your statements now and or on another call 536 00:41:56.760 --> 00:42:00.640 That's that's fine, too. So but if you don't want to do that, that's cool, too 537 00:42:02.920 --> 00:42:07.320 Thank you, you know, I'd love to I see that Daniel just asked for prayer tonight 538 00:42:07.320 --> 00:42:09.320 He said he's gonna be having a really difficult conversation 539 00:42:09.440 --> 00:42:13.600 I'm wondering if maybe we can save mine for a different time and absolutely we can do that 540 00:42:13.600 --> 00:42:17.520 I'm yeah, I wasn't looking at the chat. Sorry about that. Thank you for seeing that 541 00:42:17.960 --> 00:42:18.960 my 542 00:42:18.960 --> 00:42:24.040 Yeah, the person I'm meeting with just parked in so I got a drop but I do appreciate any prayers you guys can spare for me 543 00:42:25.640 --> 00:42:28.840 Okay, we will definitely blessed with wisdom yes 544 00:42:30.480 --> 00:42:36.160 Thank you, yeah, we will pray for Daniel so I will do that. Thank you Thomas for for catching that 545 00:42:38.080 --> 00:42:43.320 Yeah, I just I just a lot of things that Thomas said there, you know, I I 546 00:42:43.720 --> 00:42:49.600 Want to recap but I don't I don't want to take a lot of time but yeah, no this this this is a continuing dialogue 547 00:42:49.600 --> 00:42:51.000 There's just no way 548 00:42:51.000 --> 00:42:53.000 We're going to tackle this 549 00:42:53.320 --> 00:42:58.880 This topic in one or two or several sessions. I mean, this is just continuing dialogue 550 00:42:58.880 --> 00:43:02.760 so maybe we'll be talking on this for a while until we get to 551 00:43:03.360 --> 00:43:04.920 to some 552 00:43:04.920 --> 00:43:10.640 Some real meat I would I would like for each one of you to dive into that assignment 553 00:43:10.760 --> 00:43:17.720 Whether this is your first time on this call or a couple times in the assignment is this it's to make 554 00:43:18.880 --> 00:43:20.560 five 555 00:43:20.560 --> 00:43:22.040 goals and 556 00:43:22.040 --> 00:43:24.600 To make them into I am statements 557 00:43:24.600 --> 00:43:27.920 So if your goal is like a financial goal, for instance 558 00:43:28.080 --> 00:43:35.240 like I am making such-and-such salary like, you know, if it's if it's a number that you want or if it's a 559 00:43:35.920 --> 00:43:42.480 Number that you want and in your savings account that you're like as a goal I have this I 560 00:43:43.240 --> 00:43:50.920 Obtained this or I have achieved this I am this I am a maybe it's a position that you're wanting to try to achieve 561 00:43:51.000 --> 00:43:56.520 And so you say I am a whatever it is and you write in the name of the position 562 00:43:57.640 --> 00:44:00.360 Maybe it's a status, you know, I am 563 00:44:00.800 --> 00:44:06.680 Married with, you know to my spirit mate and blah, you know, you do a descriptive thing like that. So 564 00:44:07.800 --> 00:44:09.800 and these are 565 00:44:10.320 --> 00:44:12.320 statements that 566 00:44:12.360 --> 00:44:19.400 They're typically within the 12-month time period. Although you can make them for whatever time period you want 567 00:44:20.280 --> 00:44:22.280 but it the more 568 00:44:22.440 --> 00:44:25.760 Qualitative and quantitative that you can make the statement the better 569 00:44:25.760 --> 00:44:32.240 So it's measurable and you know, it's attainable and it's something that you can track and look at and see but just making a statement 570 00:44:32.240 --> 00:44:37.920 That says I am this I am that I have this I have done this, you know, I I 571 00:44:38.480 --> 00:44:40.160 achieved this 572 00:44:40.160 --> 00:44:46.240 You know, maybe your goal is to hold your breath underwater for a certain period of time 573 00:44:46.240 --> 00:44:50.320 And he's like I can now hold my breath underwater for six minutes, you know, whatever it is 574 00:44:50.320 --> 00:44:52.160 I don't know if that's your goal or not 575 00:44:52.160 --> 00:44:53.680 I don't know why that would be your goal 576 00:44:53.680 --> 00:44:58.000 But maybe it's a tie to whatever it is that you're going to be a champion in 577 00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.080 at, I don't know, but what you understand was in the example is there, you know, 578 00:45:04.520 --> 00:45:08.740 I am the manager of this, whatever it is that you want to achieve in your life 579 00:45:08.740 --> 00:45:15.120 and make five statements that are those things, and then the beautiful thing 580 00:45:15.120 --> 00:45:22.840 about it is to really let one of those statements really rise to the top. 581 00:45:23.680 --> 00:45:25.040 Really shine out. 582 00:45:25.600 --> 00:45:29.020 So it's kind of like that of the five statements that you finally have 583 00:45:29.020 --> 00:45:33.080 thought about written down that are worthy goals to have and worthy 584 00:45:33.080 --> 00:45:34.140 achievements to have in your life. 585 00:45:34.540 --> 00:45:39.100 Not that you say you won't achieve all five of them, but what you do is 586 00:45:39.100 --> 00:45:45.220 allow yourself to really, like, if one of those I am statements, you 587 00:45:45.220 --> 00:45:49.660 can wave a magical wand and it were true immediately, and it would bring 588 00:45:50.300 --> 00:45:51.860 tremendous transformation to your life. 589 00:45:52.460 --> 00:45:53.900 Which one would it be? 590 00:45:54.580 --> 00:45:57.380 Which one would have the most impact in your life right now? 591 00:45:57.780 --> 00:46:03.580 If it were true this moment, that's the one that is highlighted to you. 592 00:46:04.140 --> 00:46:10.060 And that's the one that you'll concentrate on first and then she'll go after and 593 00:46:10.060 --> 00:46:16.540 that you will, you know, discipline your life, rearrange your schedule, educate 594 00:46:16.540 --> 00:46:18.420 yourself, whatever it's necessary. 595 00:46:19.020 --> 00:46:22.500 That goal requires, that's what you're going after. 596 00:46:23.020 --> 00:46:26.740 And that's what you're trying to see change and transformed in your life. 597 00:46:27.620 --> 00:46:33.820 And the journey, the journey of that is what is transformational. 598 00:46:35.660 --> 00:46:40.340 It's not necessarily important at some point, whether you actually obtain the 599 00:46:40.340 --> 00:46:45.420 goal, because maybe you learn some things along the way and the goal changes. 600 00:46:46.140 --> 00:46:49.580 Now, this is a little bit more advanced and I'm not trying to like ruin the 601 00:46:49.580 --> 00:46:54.260 assignment because I'm trying to, what I'm saying is, is the journey of going 602 00:46:54.260 --> 00:46:58.180 towards that goal and the transformation you experienced in doing that is the 603 00:46:58.180 --> 00:47:00.860 life-changing part, that's the beauty of it. 604 00:47:03.100 --> 00:47:06.660 And it's helpful to, and this is really in direct alignment and going after that 605 00:47:06.660 --> 00:47:08.780 question, like, what do you want? 606 00:47:09.820 --> 00:47:10.500 What do you want? 607 00:47:11.140 --> 00:47:11.860 What do you want? 608 00:47:14.620 --> 00:47:16.900 You know, what do you want? 609 00:47:18.140 --> 00:47:23.380 And I will continue asking that question because it's like, you know, 610 00:47:24.740 --> 00:47:30.540 you could, you guys have ever heard the, um, what next sort of thing, 611 00:47:31.380 --> 00:47:33.060 similar to the, what is, do you want? 612 00:47:33.860 --> 00:47:34.660 It's like, what are you doing? 613 00:47:34.660 --> 00:47:35.380 What's next? 614 00:47:35.660 --> 00:47:37.460 Well, the next thing is I'll do, I guess I'll just do this. 615 00:47:37.820 --> 00:47:38.700 Well then, then what? 616 00:47:39.540 --> 00:47:41.700 Well, then I guess I'll just, you know, this will happen. 617 00:47:42.100 --> 00:47:42.740 And then what? 618 00:47:43.340 --> 00:47:44.540 You know, it's just like, and then what? 619 00:47:44.540 --> 00:47:44.940 And then what? 620 00:47:44.940 --> 00:47:46.180 It just keeps on going and going. 621 00:47:46.180 --> 00:47:49.060 You're like, I don't know, I guess I'll just die. 622 00:47:49.620 --> 00:47:51.540 And then you go, and then what? 623 00:47:52.060 --> 00:47:56.500 You know, so like that, that question that just, it's one of those life 624 00:47:56.500 --> 00:48:00.540 questions, it's like the, what do you want question that really just, if you 625 00:48:00.540 --> 00:48:04.940 just continue to allow that just to simmer and to pursue that, you'll 626 00:48:04.940 --> 00:48:08.380 finally strike on something that's like, man, that is really what I want. 627 00:48:08.820 --> 00:48:11.620 And finally the answer, you'll answer that question one day and you'll be like, 628 00:48:12.140 --> 00:48:14.020 yeah, that's it. 629 00:48:14.340 --> 00:48:15.700 I really do want that. 630 00:48:15.700 --> 00:48:17.340 Like, that is what I really want. 631 00:48:17.740 --> 00:48:18.180 Like that. 632 00:48:18.180 --> 00:48:20.180 And then you'll be like, that is powerful. 633 00:48:20.460 --> 00:48:21.540 That is amazing. 634 00:48:21.540 --> 00:48:27.260 Like, that is so life transforming for me that you'd be like, now I'm 635 00:48:27.260 --> 00:48:28.740 like empowered to go after that. 636 00:48:29.340 --> 00:48:30.980 You know, you'll get excited about it. 637 00:48:30.980 --> 00:48:34.620 And I love Thomas that you brought that up because it's so true. 638 00:48:35.180 --> 00:48:40.540 Like if you connect with passion on the inside of you, desire on the inside of 639 00:48:40.540 --> 00:48:47.300 you, um, and again, many people religiously are afraid of desire. 640 00:48:47.420 --> 00:48:48.020 Why? 641 00:48:48.300 --> 00:48:53.500 Because desire in a religious context always leads to, oh, that's sinful. 642 00:48:54.020 --> 00:48:58.220 Uh, it always leads to something that you want, but not what God wants. 643 00:48:58.460 --> 00:49:00.900 And that's what, again, we're destroying that myth. 644 00:49:01.300 --> 00:49:04.380 That's kind of why we're doing this exercise because we're destroying that 645 00:49:04.380 --> 00:49:08.700 idea that it comes from without, it doesn't come from without it comes from 646 00:49:08.700 --> 00:49:10.540 within because God's placed it in you. 647 00:49:11.020 --> 00:49:15.940 And if you can connect that passion and that desire, then that will breed 648 00:49:15.940 --> 00:49:20.180 excitement into your activity, into your future. 649 00:49:20.180 --> 00:49:23.980 And then you were like, oh man, I finally actually found something 650 00:49:23.980 --> 00:49:25.500 worthy to get excited about. 651 00:49:25.500 --> 00:49:26.580 That's really cool. 652 00:49:26.940 --> 00:49:28.020 That's amazing. 653 00:49:28.700 --> 00:49:31.940 Like, if you get to that point, you're like, oh my gosh, my life is brand new now. 654 00:49:33.140 --> 00:49:36.860 And that's, that's what I believe is the essence of what scripture talks to us. 655 00:49:36.980 --> 00:49:40.100 That's about going from glory to glory. 656 00:49:40.740 --> 00:49:43.820 It is because we get in that mode where we're like, we're moving on and we're 657 00:49:43.820 --> 00:49:45.420 moving on and we're moving on. 658 00:49:46.020 --> 00:49:47.060 And it's a beautiful thing. 659 00:49:48.140 --> 00:49:48.660 Amen. 660 00:49:50.140 --> 00:49:50.620 Amen. 661 00:49:51.500 --> 00:49:52.060 Hi guys. 662 00:49:52.140 --> 00:49:54.780 Uh, nine Oh nine or at least Eastern time. 663 00:49:55.260 --> 00:49:56.700 And I love every one of you. 664 00:49:57.060 --> 00:49:58.140 Thank you for showing up. 665 00:49:58.660 --> 00:49:59.980 I do want to. 666 00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:01.960 shout out and Andy was new tonight. 667 00:50:01.960 --> 00:50:07.240 And we did have, um, or John Rodarte that joined us. 668 00:50:07.240 --> 00:50:12.360 I don't know, John, if this was your first time or not, um, on these kind of 669 00:50:12.360 --> 00:50:15.960 call, but I want to welcome you and I would just call you out and you were 670 00:50:15.960 --> 00:50:19.040 kind of joined late, so we, unfortunately we were kind of in the thick of things. 671 00:50:19.040 --> 00:50:23.520 And so, sorry about that, but we will get to knowing you as well. 672 00:50:23.720 --> 00:50:27.920 If you show back up and let's pray for Dan Thomas, you want to pray for Daniel. 673 00:50:27.920 --> 00:50:28.960 You did see that message. 674 00:50:28.960 --> 00:50:30.160 You would pray for Daniel. 675 00:50:30.160 --> 00:50:32.840 Just lead us in that prayer for Daniel. 676 00:50:32.920 --> 00:50:33.420 Thank you. 677 00:50:35.960 --> 00:50:38.120 Lord, we thank you for your goodness in our lives. 678 00:50:38.360 --> 00:50:41.720 We thank you that, um, you have, you've made us alive. 679 00:50:41.720 --> 00:50:43.400 You're bringing our hearts to life in new ways. 680 00:50:43.400 --> 00:50:47.080 And we thank you right now that that's happening with Daniel too. 681 00:50:47.440 --> 00:50:52.200 We thank you that, uh, that he is a man of integrity and honor. 682 00:50:52.400 --> 00:50:57.680 And that, um, in this conversation that he's having that, um, you are, 683 00:50:57.680 --> 00:51:03.320 you are giving him discernment that you are empowering him to tell what threads 684 00:51:03.320 --> 00:51:06.160 of the conversation are going to be helpful to pursue and which ones are 685 00:51:06.160 --> 00:51:07.960 going to be helpful to let slide by. 686 00:51:08.720 --> 00:51:11.760 Um, I pray Lord, in the name of Jesus, that you Holy spirit would be there 687 00:51:11.760 --> 00:51:16.640 and that you would help both of them, uh, love each other well, um, whatever 688 00:51:16.640 --> 00:51:22.480 the conversation is about and that both of them, uh, would have words that would 689 00:51:22.480 --> 00:51:24.720 be motivated by each other's best interest. 690 00:51:25.000 --> 00:51:25.500 Yeah. 691 00:51:26.140 --> 00:51:32.340 Uh, I ask Lord for your grace and your supernatural empowerment and, um, uh, 692 00:51:32.380 --> 00:51:39.540 for her, um, to have anything that she's hearing that it would not be connecting 693 00:51:39.540 --> 00:51:43.260 with her self-worth that her self-worth would be infinite and in you. 694 00:51:44.020 --> 00:51:50.180 Uh, and, um, uh, we ask Lord that, um, that your will for this conversation 695 00:51:50.180 --> 00:51:53.100 would happen, that you would give them both your insights and your eyes to 696 00:51:53.100 --> 00:51:54.980 see, and that you would open the eyes of their hearts. 697 00:51:55.580 --> 00:51:59.500 Um, to see how they feel about each other and what it looks like 698 00:51:59.500 --> 00:52:00.820 to move forward in healthy ways. 699 00:52:01.380 --> 00:52:04.820 We pray also for Daniel's week that you'd be with him day by day. 700 00:52:05.580 --> 00:52:07.940 And, um, yeah, we love you, God. 701 00:52:07.940 --> 00:52:09.020 And we thank you for your love. 702 00:52:09.020 --> 00:52:13.420 And we pray for all of us that, that we would increasingly connect with your 703 00:52:13.420 --> 00:52:17.420 love and with your heart and with your, your desires for us, Lord, we love you 704 00:52:17.420 --> 00:52:20.700 in Jesus name and please also bless David as he's with extended family. 705 00:52:21.540 --> 00:52:22.060 Amen. 706 00:52:22.460 --> 00:52:22.980 Thank you. 707 00:52:22.980 --> 00:52:23.700 Thank you, Thomas. 708 00:52:23.700 --> 00:52:24.200 Yeah. 709 00:52:24.460 --> 00:52:25.340 I bless you guys. 710 00:52:25.380 --> 00:52:27.380 I just speak life and health and strength over you. 711 00:52:27.900 --> 00:52:29.420 Thank you for each one of you, Lord. 712 00:52:29.420 --> 00:52:34.020 I thank you for each one of these men that are just aspiring to be all that it 713 00:52:34.020 --> 00:52:38.100 is that you've called them to be and want them to be, and I just thank you for each 714 00:52:38.100 --> 00:52:41.940 of their desires and passions on the inside of them, that they'd be revealed 715 00:52:41.940 --> 00:52:45.660 in Jesus name, and we just give you praise and glory for it all. 716 00:52:46.220 --> 00:52:46.580 Amen. 717 00:52:46.580 --> 00:52:47.060 And amen. 718 00:52:47.740 --> 00:52:48.100 All right, guys. 719 00:52:48.100 --> 00:52:48.540 God bless. 720 00:52:48.540 --> 00:52:49.140 Have a good one. 721 00:52:49.220 --> 00:52:50.100 Have a great week. 722 00:52:50.940 --> 00:52:51.980 We'll connect with you guys.