WEBVTT

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All right, ladies. Awesome. I see a few more people jumping on. That's good. We're just

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a couple minutes past 1 o'clock. Shawnee and I were not sure if we were going to be the

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only two in here today. So welcome to your October 22nd Phase 2 live check-in. It's

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always such a pleasure to be here. I'm Karla Johnson. Hold on a second. Julia, I'm going

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to decline because I'm recording it as the host and then we post it in there. So we don't

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actually allow anyone else to record because what we do here is supposed to be sacred and

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we don't want it getting out to other people. So it's just a safety precaution for you ladies.

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But know that I record it on my end and we do put it in replay for you ladies in Phase

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2 to watch. So if you're here, you can re-watch the session. And then if you're not here,

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you're obviously probably now watching it in replay. It's what we actually really do

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encourage you ladies to do if you are not on live or even if you are, just to hit it

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in replay. So I'm Karla Johnson. It's always really a great pleasure to be here with you

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ladies. I myself was in this program, found Jackie in the late 2020 and have been a success

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story and found my husband a little over almost two years now it's been. We've been married

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a little over a year. So it's just really great to be here, to be able to kind of pour

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back into this ministry and this community because it blessed me in so many different

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ways. So I'm excited to be here with you ladies. Just by a show of hands, is there

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anybody that is new to Phase 2? This is your first time joining us in Phase 2 live. Anybody?

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I don't know. Oh, I hear somebody. Joanne, hi. Welcome. I've seen you post a couple times.

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So glad to have you with us. Perfect. I'm going to go over some housekeeping items.

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I love when someone's a new timer because then I don't feel like I'm repeating myself

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to people who have already heard it a hundred times. But it is good because again, we do

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this in replay. So one thing, first things first, tonight there is a special session

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with Jackie tonight. It's one of our love seats. So be sure to go ahead and catch that

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tonight at eight o'clock Eastern time. We are in the process of getting that link in

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that events tab in your app in Phase 2. So that's what you're going to go to to get

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that link, to get the Zoom link for that tonight. And then we also made a post as well about

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the love seat tonight. So definitely check it out. It's going to be really good tonight.

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Jackie's going to go over all the tips and ways to navigate level two relationship, which

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for you ladies here in Phase 2, that's ideally where you ladies will live in Phase 2 is level

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one and level two relationships. It's very not typical for people that are in Phase 2

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to jump quickly into level three, not saying that it can't happen, but because you ladies

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are typically only here for about four to five weeks in Phase 2, you're not going to

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typically find yourself in a level three. It doesn't mean that it's never happened,

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but it's just really super important to be able to navigate that level two and level

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one relationship. So Jackie will talk about that tonight. So we went ahead and go ahead

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and met some of the newbies here. So if you jumped on and you're new to Phase 2, just

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raise your avatar hand so I can see you. So if you are here and you're new to Phase 2,

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so what do you need to do? So you're probably like, okay, this is a little bit different

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than Phase 1. What do I have to do? So first things first is that you will have five videos

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in your content, right? So that's found in the app. There's going to be five of those

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that Love Story Accelerator, Dating 101, Divine Feminine. Then there's a video on online dating.

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And then the last video is Boundaries, which is what we're going to talk about a little

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bit today. So the goal is to watch one video a week, okay? We do this so that you have

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time to pray, meditate, take notes on it, and then consider how you're going to apply

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that content in your life, okay? And then what we want you to do is post in our community

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your takeaways from those videos. So today we're going to just briefly discuss a little

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bit about the Boundaries video. If you haven't watched it, don't stress. I hit every single

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one of those videos.

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Those in a month. Okay. So if you're joining us now, you're getting the boundaries. That's not going to be you're not going to watch that video until it's the last video. Okay.

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And at the start of the next month, we'll go. We'll start all over again. Okay. So, um, excuse me.

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So, yeah, definitely make sure that you're watching that content.

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And then the next thing that you need to make sure to do, which you all are doing right now is come to these live Tuesday session. Okay.

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At the very least, if you can't make it watch the replay. Okay. We cover a lot of highlights from each one of the videos each week. And we also take all of y'all's questions.

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So you're going to be able to find lots of good information when you watch the replay. If you weren't able to make it. So sometimes we see questions that come up in our community where

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We might have discussed it last week. And if you watch the replay, you might be able to find out your answer. Now, obviously, we're here to answer all your questions. So we're not going to

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You know, try to detract you from posting your questions because we definitely want to be there to support you. But just know, sometimes you can get your questions answered by those replays. Um, what else you also need to do.

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Excuse me, ladies, is keep attending those prayer calls. So you should have access to those prayer calls like you did in phase one.

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Keep going to those prayer calls. We have one every single day. And I will say Supernatural Saturday and Sunday night activation will definitely fill your cup. So get to those. And if you can't watch those and replay. Okay.

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You'll be here in phase two at a minimum four to five weeks. Okay, we encourage no more than 10 weeks. Okay, we understand life happens. But if you can get through that content and come here, show up, get encouraged, get your questions answered.

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We want you to get all that stuff done. And then once you've completed all of those things and watched your content, then that's when you will email admin at Jackie dorman.com to move over to phase three. Okay, so again, ladies, I can't stress enough like how important it is to show up and prioritize this community in your life.

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Because you deserve to invest time in yourself. All right, I know, like myself, I was so busy being single mom and doing things for other people that sometimes I neglected my dreams, my hopes, my desires, my time with the Lord, and forgot what how important it was to invest in myself so that I can grow and be a better version of myself because that's what we really want to do.

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We want to practice being the best versions of ourselves. So when God blesses us with that spirit, mate, we are ready. We're prepared, right? Okay, so now I'm going to just explain to you ladies, like how you can make the most of this phase. Okay, I say this out of my own experience. Okay, because like I said, I was in this community. I found Jackie in 2020.

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Took me a couple years until my husband came along. But it came. Okay. Um, so I, I've been where you're at. I know, you know, I know the ups and the downs. And I know how you know, exhausting. Single hood can be and the dating game can be I totally get it. There's highs, there's lows, there's all sorts of things. So ways that you can show up in the community is hosting in our community. Okay, about all the things.

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All right. So this is especially interactions with guys and date, you know, post other posts can be about heart work, what you're learning in the videos, what God is doing in your life, breakthroughs, you're having any celebrations, like your wins, questions, prayer request.

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Um, but again, share with us your interactions with men and dating. It helps us to coach you before you find yourself in a crisis. Okay. I can't tell you how many times. Okay. I've been doing this for a close to a year now. And then obviously being in the program myself.

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Okay. So it's kind of how like, I don't know about you all, but I kind of do that sometimes in my prayer life, unfortunately, like my relationship with God, like, everything's going good, smooth sailing, everything's fantastic, that I forget to sometimes have that community, like that community and my, my connection, my intimacy with God.

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Until things start going like haywire. And then I'm like, Oh, my gosh, like, my prayer life, my intimate time with God is like, you know, taking a backseat. Now, no wonder my life is in chaos. The same thing is here, ladies. So if you want to try to eliminate some of that chaos and crisis, just continue to do that.

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You need to show up here in community

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and that will continue on as you go into phase three.

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You're gonna continue to make connections in this community

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and share with people your life, okay?

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Another way of doing that is build those friendships

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and interact with your sisters here in community.

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Respond to what your sisters share in the app,

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but just make sure that you are not commenting

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or posting on any of those comments

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that they have an ask a coach tab, okay?

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So when you're in the app, there's certain tabs

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and if you click on the ask a coach,

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you're gonna see where people have requested

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a coach specifically to respond to them.

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So sometimes what can happen is that ask a coach post

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can also show up in the all tab as well.

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So when you're making comments

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and you're encouraging your sisters

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and giving some positivity to your sisters,

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relating with your sisters,

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let's just be mindful that it's not also falling

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under that ask a coach post as well, cool?

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Everybody with me?

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Good, all right.

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We're almost through the housekeeping stuff, I promise.

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But yeah, just make sure that you are staying positive,

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you're encouraging.

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We do ask that you refrain from some advice giving

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and coaching and most certainly refrain

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from any negativity, okay?

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Another thing that you can do while you're in this phase

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is to come out of hiding.

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So this is your time to shine,

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here in community and in real life, all right?

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Get out and share with friends and family

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what God has placed on your heart.

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Be open to dating, this is online and in real life.

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And remember that seven day challenge

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that Jackie encourages you to do,

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it doesn't have to be scary

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and it also doesn't have to be rushed, okay?

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So last thing in housekeeping here

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is some of the important reminders about the app.

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Just like any new app, there's gonna be glitches,

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so please practice some patience with us

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as we work with our developer to work things out.

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So please know that we care deeply for you

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and that if we don't respond to something

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that you've posted within eight to 12 hours,

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just know and trust that as soon as we see it,

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we're gonna respond to you, okay?

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If a coach asks or responds to something that you've posted

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and you need to reply to us, reply under our comments, okay?

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So on our comment, there's gonna be a little reply button.

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That just gives us the notification in our app

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that you've replied to us.

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So this has happened a few times

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where someone's made a comment, I have gone and responded

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and then asked a question, they go in and respond,

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but they didn't click reply to me.

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They went and responded underneath their original post

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and it doesn't notify me that you've responded to me, okay?

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So sometimes I do my best to kind of always

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kind of keep track of like,

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hey, who have I still not heard from?

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But sometimes some people can kind of fall

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through the cracks if it's not notifying me.

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So I'm not perfect.

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I do my best to make sure that I'm staying on top of that,

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but sometimes one slips through where I'm like,

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oh my goodness, it's been almost a week

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and they responded to me and I need to respond back to them.

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So just make sure that you're doing that.

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I already talked with you about making sure

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that when you're making a post

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that you're clicking the correct label,

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so whether it's all wins, relationship, milestone,

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or that ask a coach tab, okay?

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Make sure you know how to get to your training videos,

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the replay videos, the resource page,

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the training page, and the event page.

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Those pages are where you will find

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a good amount of information, okay?

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And then last but not least,

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don't send emails to admin at JackieDorman.com

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about anything that's listed in that resource page, okay?

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Especially anything that has to do

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with the affiliate program or the spirit mate match.

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All the information that you need

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will be under that resource tab, okay?

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Are we good?

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Awesome, all right, so now let's get to the meat, all right?

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Let's go ahead and get into some of our teaching here.

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So raise your hand if you have watched the boundaries video.

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Victoria, okay, I think, Victoria,

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you're still probably a little,

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you've got, you're halfway through, I think,

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you mentioned a while ago.

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Okay, cool, Kylie, you've watched it as well.

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I know there's a couple of you that are new on here.

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Don't worry if you haven't watched it.

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I'm just gonna go over some highlights.

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from the boundaries so do your best take some notes anything that calls out to you if you have

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questions about anything keep that question we can discuss it here in a little bit um i'm going

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to try to get through a big chunk of it because i do like to spend time with um you ladies and

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getting your questions and kind of having it more of a dialogue so um so the boundaries video so

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boundaries what are they right and what do they offer um renee in the video i love her analogy

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she uses where we describe boundaries that they're not walls but in fact they're fences with

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gates okay boundaries are good it keeps out the not so good but it also allows us to have a gate

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that opens up and allows us to receive the good things okay so those boundaries are there to

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define us and protect us okay and one thing that we spend a lot of time in that video having you

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know a teaching on is it's called the carpem drama triangle so it's just like vicious cycle that we

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can kind of find ourselves in and at some point there's like three like three points of that

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triangle and we can be all of those things at some point in our life okay because again it's kind of

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this cycle it just kind of goes around so i'm going to talk a little bit about that so the first

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one i'm going to talk about is the controller and the persecutor okay so what that looks like okay

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it can show up aggressively all right this might be like someone's not listening or you're not

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listening you're running people over or people running over you and it also shows up pretty

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aggressive when you're just not accepting people as they are okay so it reminds me of just something

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that's just more fear-based is typically like you're going to try to control it and you're

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going to be you know aggressive about it because it makes you uncomfortable okay so controller

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persecutor can show up pretty aggressively okay then there's another part of that too where it's

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manipulative so it can be seducing or persuading people away from their own boundaries

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so you might be thinking and i know when i first listened to this i'm going to sit here and i'm

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like oh my gosh this person this person and this person they like totally invade my uh boundaries

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and i can sit here and name all the people that have tried to be a controller of my life and

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have been aggressive towards me and manipulative towards me but i want to challenge you ladies

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right now to stop and like yeah you're gonna have some of that it's important to recognize when

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people are trying to bust our boundaries but i also want to um challenge you a little bit to

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think to yourself how have i shown up in this counterfeit when i maybe am trying to um bust

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somebody else's boundaries right okay sometimes a little hard when we have to look in the mirror

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and be like oh dang i don't like when people do that to me but you okay so um that's the controller

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persecutor and then what can happen okay and this is interesting like i always like it because it's

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like if you try to control you don't accept somebody as they are you're running people over

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and someone doesn't like it then what happens is people then will play victim all right they'll

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blame people or things they'll complain about people and things they don't take ownership of

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their part in things okay i'm guilty of that sometimes right and then they want others to

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do things for them that they're not willing to do for themselves okay and then when that doesn't

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happen sometimes we then turn into the rescuer helper so what this can show up like is oftentimes

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it's it's where you are feeling like you are responsible for other people which that in essence

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is codependency so it's not that we need to be responsible for others but we can be responsible

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to others and so that's a healthier way of being more empathetic right so that's what we're looking

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for okay you you know you can't go and save everybody sometimes it's like people are going

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to go and and i mean i'm guilty in my past of being the fixer all right and that's what i was

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in a relationship i found myself in relationships with all sorts of unhealthy men that i felt like

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i needed to fix all right i found myself in relationships with addicts and i was going to

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i was going to love them out of that addiction and by all means like if they loved me enough

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then they would change their addiction right and so then that's when i found myself in that

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cycle. I was going to fix them. And then when they didn't fix

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them, then I was going to control them, I was going to

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make them do it. And then when they didn't do that, guess what,

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then I've turned victim. And it just this vicious cycle

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continues. Okay, so that's just one example of how those

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boundaries can just get really mucky. All right. So, um, next

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thing is healthy confrontation. Okay. So yeah, boundaries, when

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we think of that, we're thinking, oh, people are busting

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our boundaries, and it's not a good thing. Well, guess what,

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boundaries are are a good thing. And confrontation is good, too.

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It's just are we doing it in a healthy way. So I'm going to

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just briefly talk about what healthy confrontation looks

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like. Okay, so jot these down. All right. Healthy

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confrontation. You're not raising your voice, you're not

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attacking, you're not blaming. Okay, when you're going into

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having a confrontation with someone, because let me tell you

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people will want to bust your boundaries. All right. So when

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that happens, it's going in and getting ready to have a

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confrontation about that, but doing it in a healthy way. So

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you don't have to raise your voice or attack or blame. You

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can speak in a manner that's inviting. All right. And ladies,

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let me tell you, you're gonna have healthy confrontation.

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Let's hope you're gonna have confrontation with your spirit

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mate. All right. I can't tell you how much confrontation and

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just even a year's marriage we I've had to learn how to

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practice this healthy confrontation because I didn't

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have healthy confrontation. All right. Um, that was an area that

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I'm still having to learn from. Okay, so it's speaking in an

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inviting manner, right? Because if anybody's like coming at you,

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I mean, people are gonna get you're gonna get defensive,

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right? So when you have to give, you know, you have to confront

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somebody, you don't want to put them on defense, especially your

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spouse, because you're supposed to be a team, you're supposed to

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be a partner. And this goes with any relationship. This doesn't

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just go with marriage. It's, it's all sorts of relationships.

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Another thing to keep in mind when having healthy

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confrontation is no, know what your goals are and determine if

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they're healthy and helpful. Sometimes we have to check

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ourself like, are we acting in like, are we trying to control a

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situation? Are we trying to get someone to do something that we

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want them to do? So you have to ask yourself is is my goal of

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having this confrontation, something that's going to be

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healthy for me and this other individual. Okay. Be okay with

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leaning into negative emotion. Okay, when someone busts your

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boundaries, or maybe you bust somebody's boundaries, there's

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going to be some negative emotion, there's going to be

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some hurt. Right? You're going to get hurt, and it feels sad,

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there could be some anger. Be okay with leaning into that when

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I'm when I talk about that, that, you know, lean into your

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Papa, lean into your, you know, Heavenly Father with that, okay.

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Be okay with being able to express how those negative

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emotions have affected you. Okay, not to blame them for

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things, but just to express what you're feeling what those what

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those emotions are. And then if you have some negative emotions,

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you may need to get your emotions kind of at a at a level

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where you are able to have healthy confrontation. One thing

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that I've had to learn to express to my husband when I'm

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at a 10, and my emotions are all over the place, because I'm, I'm

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an emotional being, all right, my husband is not. And my two

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youngest kids are emotional beings. Okay, it's a son and a

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daughter, my oldest son is not an emotional being. Okay. So

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I've had to learn that when I my emotions are pretty negative and

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are really high. I have to be willing to express like now is

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not the time for me to have healthy confrontation. Because

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I'm in my negative emotions right now. I have to do things

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to take my like, regulate those negative emotions. That's also

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another reason why we lean in those negative emotions

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recognize them know where they come from, be willing to

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express them. But don't step into healthy confrontation if

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you're like, you know, really feeling like you're not going to

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have healthy confrontation really is what that is. Alright,

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so but also be willing to have those tough conversations. All

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right.

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I know there was a time in my life

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where I would avoid confrontation.

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So be okay to have those tough conversations

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because it's okay to have confrontation.

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Learn how to listen.

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This is one that I struggle with, y'all.

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I have a really hard time because I'm a talker.

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So having to stop and listen to what someone is saying

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and returning, it can be difficult.

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But just keep in mind, half of communicating,

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if not more of communicating,

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is more so listening than talking, all right?

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Have the courage to be curious.

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And this is how I have to work on my listening skills.

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Instead of jumping to conclusions

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about something that someone says,

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I then ask questions about what they're saying.

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It helps me clarify.

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It helps me practice listening to them

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because I have to think about what they're saying

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to be able to ask them a question

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about what they're expressing.

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And then don't go into confrontation

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looking for them to determine your self-worth.

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That one is, again, if you're going back

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to remembering what your goals are

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in having the confrontation,

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if they're healthy and helpful,

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if you've gone into it expecting someone

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to do something for you

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because it's gonna make you feel better

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and it's gonna tell you who you are,

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that's not healthy confrontation, all right?

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Y'all still with me?

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Thumbs up.

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Awesome, good, good stuff.

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I know a few of you are not on camera.

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I know that some people are at work.

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If you are able to get on camera,

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that's super helpful.

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It helps us practice coming out of hiding, all right?

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So if you can put yourself on camera, that'd be great.

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I've got just a couple more things on boundaries.

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We're gonna get through this as quick as I can.

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The next thing that we talk about in boundaries

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is getting your pies in order.

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So what do we mean by that?

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P-I-E-S, all right?

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So P stands for physical, water, whole food, movement,

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health, okay, making sure that you're filling your body

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and taking care of your body

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because when we don't get those physical necessities,

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we can become irritable

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and then people are more apt to bust our boundaries

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and we're also busting other people's boundaries

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because we're not taking care of ourself physically.

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Also includes sleep, all right?

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That's a big one too.

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If you're not getting enough sleep,

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I don't know about you all,

350
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but I get really cranky if I'm not well-rested, all right?

351
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When you have three kids and a husband,

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oftentimes I don't get sleep.

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So I have to really be mindful of that and take rest, okay?

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So that's the P, the I is intellectual.

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This is do you have a teachable spirit, okay?

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Are you willing to grow yourself, okay?

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I will tell you, this is super important in this program

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is having that teachable spirit

359
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because I've seen it happen a few times

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that we have some people that will come

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through our community and they just wanna stay stuck.

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They really don't have a teachable spirit

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and they find themselves in some not so great situations

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over and over and over again.

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So it's really important to get your intellectual,

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teachable spirit in check, okay?

367
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We're here to partner with you.

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We're not here to partner against you, okay?

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Be willing to be made willing, okay?

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The next one is the E is emotion, all right?

371
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So how do you handle stress?

372
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How do you handle your time, your schedule,

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your capacity, your emotions, all right?

374
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That can change and alter your boundaries

375
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and whether or not you're crossing other people's boundaries

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and the last one is spiritual, all right?

377
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Having that alone time with God, worship,

378
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being in the word, discipleship,

379
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being in corporate community and serving, okay?

380
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I don't know about you all,

381
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but anytime I'm with my church community

382
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or spending time with my heavenly father,

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I just feel more at ease

384
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and I have a lot more patience for things.

385
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So if you find yourself.

386
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of getting into these unhealthy cycles

387
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or this irritability where you feel like people

388
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are busting your boundaries

389
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or maybe you're just irritated with people,

390
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ask yourself, do I have my pies in order?

391
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Because maybe it's something as simple as like,

392
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man, I'm just not really spending time with the Lord.

393
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Maybe I'm not getting enough sleep.

394
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Maybe I put too much on my plate

395
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and I need to remove something from my schedule.

396
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Maybe something's stressing me out

397
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and I really need to learn how to relax

398
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and do some things that are for me and have some fun.

399
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All right, that's a big one for me.

400
00:30:37.120 --> 00:30:40.780
I oftentimes forget to like chill

401
00:30:40.780 --> 00:30:44.680
and go do something fun for myself, all right?

402
00:30:45.840 --> 00:30:47.640
So then the last thing we're gonna talk about

403
00:30:47.640 --> 00:30:51.360
is boundaries at level two and level three relationships.

404
00:30:51.360 --> 00:30:54.840
I'm gonna just kind of some healthy,

405
00:30:54.840 --> 00:30:56.800
quick, healthy examples of that.

406
00:30:56.800 --> 00:31:00.480
So level two, and I'm just gonna give examples

407
00:31:00.480 --> 00:31:02.700
from boundaries that I set

408
00:31:02.700 --> 00:31:05.160
when I was going through this program and dating.

409
00:31:06.960 --> 00:31:11.720
In level two, I was very, very convicted

410
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not to have, not to be kissing in level two.

411
00:31:19.000 --> 00:31:21.600
And that's actually what we encourage you ladies

412
00:31:21.600 --> 00:31:24.880
is to not start slopping that spit, right?

413
00:31:25.880 --> 00:31:29.440
Because you're ideally going to be dating

414
00:31:29.440 --> 00:31:31.080
a couple people at level two.

415
00:31:31.080 --> 00:31:32.880
I know some people freak out with that.

416
00:31:32.880 --> 00:31:35.240
I did, I was like, what do you mean?

417
00:31:35.240 --> 00:31:36.400
Like, I only liked,

418
00:31:36.400 --> 00:31:38.680
I felt like I had to only date one person at a time.

419
00:31:38.680 --> 00:31:42.040
But what happens is then we put all our eggs in a basket

420
00:31:42.040 --> 00:31:44.920
and then we kind of get into quickly.

421
00:31:44.920 --> 00:31:49.880
So level two boundary for me was I wasn't kissing anybody.

422
00:31:49.880 --> 00:31:52.840
I also was being very protective of what,

423
00:31:53.840 --> 00:31:58.840
what deep intimate information I shared in level two.

424
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All right?

425
00:32:00.520 --> 00:32:03.880
So those are some examples of level two

426
00:32:03.880 --> 00:32:06.200
of just creating some boundaries.

427
00:32:06.200 --> 00:32:08.160
And then level three,

428
00:32:08.160 --> 00:32:10.040
again, it was more of the physical stuff.

429
00:32:10.040 --> 00:32:12.360
I was like, we're not having,

430
00:32:12.360 --> 00:32:16.320
I'm not having sex with you until marriage.

431
00:32:16.320 --> 00:32:17.720
That was super important.

432
00:32:17.720 --> 00:32:21.400
That was again, another boundary that I set.

433
00:32:21.400 --> 00:32:25.360
I also was diligent about setting boundaries with my son

434
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because I was a single mom.

435
00:32:28.240 --> 00:32:31.760
So I set boundaries there of what that looked like.

436
00:32:31.760 --> 00:32:36.760
I also did not share with people my address,

437
00:32:37.640 --> 00:32:39.200
like where I lived.

438
00:32:40.200 --> 00:32:41.440
That was super important.

439
00:32:41.440 --> 00:32:43.440
And I also was not about to show up

440
00:32:43.440 --> 00:32:45.560
at somebody else's house.

441
00:32:45.560 --> 00:32:47.600
I was going to keep things public.

442
00:32:47.600 --> 00:32:49.840
And so that one is super important.

443
00:32:50.480 --> 00:32:51.880
That's a safety thing.

444
00:32:51.880 --> 00:32:54.040
That's a safety boundary.

445
00:32:54.040 --> 00:32:55.040
Okay?

446
00:32:55.040 --> 00:32:55.960
Especially at level two,

447
00:32:55.960 --> 00:33:00.080
like you don't know this person entirely.

448
00:33:00.080 --> 00:33:03.920
They're still a stranger in the early stages of level two.

449
00:33:04.760 --> 00:33:09.000
So those are some boundaries that,

450
00:33:09.000 --> 00:33:11.400
those are just some examples of some healthy boundaries.

451
00:33:11.400 --> 00:33:16.360
Again, tonight, Jackie is doing that live love seat

452
00:33:16.360 --> 00:33:18.280
that y'all are invited to,

453
00:33:18.320 --> 00:33:19.840
and she's really going to dive

454
00:33:19.840 --> 00:33:21.880
into level two relationship.

455
00:33:21.880 --> 00:33:22.760
Okay?

456
00:33:22.760 --> 00:33:26.280
So that's when you are going on face-to-face dates.

457
00:33:26.280 --> 00:33:28.480
So definitely check that out tonight

458
00:33:28.480 --> 00:33:30.520
because I'm almost certain she's going to talk

459
00:33:30.520 --> 00:33:34.040
about boundaries to have in level two.

460
00:33:34.040 --> 00:33:34.880
Okay?

461
00:33:34.880 --> 00:33:37.440
And so I share this because,

462
00:33:37.440 --> 00:33:40.080
and I share this quite often in this community,

463
00:33:40.080 --> 00:33:44.560
is when you set good healthy boundaries for yourself

464
00:33:44.560 --> 00:33:46.600
and you communicate those boundaries

465
00:33:46.600 --> 00:33:48.240
with people that you're dating,

466
00:33:49.040 --> 00:33:53.200
you're going to see just how respectful

467
00:33:53.200 --> 00:33:57.080
and masculine and mature these men are

468
00:33:57.080 --> 00:34:00.800
because they're going to either respect your boundary

469
00:34:00.800 --> 00:34:02.800
or they're not.

470
00:34:02.800 --> 00:34:06.400
So one of the things that I found super attractive

471
00:34:06.400 --> 00:34:10.800
about my husband early on was that he respected my boundary

472
00:34:10.800 --> 00:34:12.159
of not kissing me.

473
00:34:13.600 --> 00:34:15.400
Like on our first date,

474
00:34:15.400 --> 00:34:17.639
he asked to kiss me and I was like, no.

475
00:34:19.040 --> 00:34:19.880
And you know what?

476
00:34:19.880 --> 00:34:21.040
He respected it.

477
00:34:21.040 --> 00:34:26.120
And then after we decided to be exclusive

478
00:34:26.120 --> 00:34:27.920
and go into a level three relationship,

479
00:34:27.920 --> 00:34:30.360
he didn't assume just because I was in a level three

480
00:34:30.360 --> 00:34:33.239
committed exclusive relationship with him

481
00:34:33.239 --> 00:34:35.760
that I was ready to kiss him.

482
00:34:36.639 --> 00:34:39.600
And so he allowed me,

483
00:34:39.600 --> 00:34:41.920
he's like, hey, when you're ready,

484
00:34:41.920 --> 00:34:43.360
well, he put a boundary with me.

485
00:34:43.360 --> 00:34:45.159
He's like, hey, when you're ready,

486
00:34:45.159 --> 00:34:46.920
would you let me know?

487
00:34:48.800 --> 00:34:53.199
I was like, yeah, that sounds pretty reasonable, right?

488
00:34:53.199 --> 00:34:56.840
So it's important that we set our boundaries.

489
00:34:56.840 --> 00:34:59.960
We follow those boundaries because it will help show us.

490
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.980
which men that we're dating,

491
00:35:01.980 --> 00:35:03.440
are they going to be respectful,

492
00:35:03.440 --> 00:35:06.680
mature, and masculine in that.

493
00:35:08.160 --> 00:35:11.560
Couple more things before we do some breakouts.

494
00:35:11.560 --> 00:35:13.440
I'm going to just, we're going to talk about

495
00:35:13.440 --> 00:35:16.960
a few things that I thought were important to bring up.

496
00:35:16.960 --> 00:35:22.240
I'm going to try to get y'all talking in the chat here.

497
00:35:22.240 --> 00:35:24.800
This is the first time I have anybody in the chat.

498
00:35:24.800 --> 00:35:28.320
Usually, I have a few people in the chat already right now.

499
00:35:29.040 --> 00:35:31.520
Let's talk about yellow flags.

500
00:35:31.520 --> 00:35:33.040
We all have them.

501
00:35:35.040 --> 00:35:37.480
But I want to not just talk about yellow flags,

502
00:35:37.480 --> 00:35:39.160
but I also want to discuss

503
00:35:40.980 --> 00:35:44.940
yellow flags versus red flags versus green flags.

504
00:35:46.200 --> 00:35:49.320
I'm curious to hear from you all,

505
00:35:50.200 --> 00:35:55.040
what would you consider a yellow flag?

506
00:35:55.040 --> 00:35:56.240
Put that in the chat.

507
00:35:58.640 --> 00:36:01.280
What are you going to consider a yellow flag?

508
00:36:04.600 --> 00:36:08.120
I'll share, my husband had yellow flags.

509
00:36:08.120 --> 00:36:09.120
I had yellow flags.

510
00:36:09.120 --> 00:36:11.480
Maybe I should share my yellow flag first.

511
00:36:11.480 --> 00:36:13.520
My yellow flag was,

512
00:36:14.440 --> 00:36:16.640
I had been a single mom for so long

513
00:36:17.880 --> 00:36:22.880
that I can be very controlling and headstrong

514
00:36:23.800 --> 00:36:27.960
and structured and go get it.

515
00:36:28.640 --> 00:36:32.760
I don't want to sit here and not really receive help.

516
00:36:33.720 --> 00:36:35.320
I want to do it all.

517
00:36:37.400 --> 00:36:39.880
Is anybody typing in the chat?

518
00:36:39.880 --> 00:36:41.520
Or am I just not seeing it?

519
00:36:44.640 --> 00:36:45.480
Anybody?

520
00:36:46.360 --> 00:36:49.040
Can someone unmute and tell me

521
00:36:49.040 --> 00:36:50.520
if they have things in the chat?

522
00:36:50.520 --> 00:36:52.640
Maybe it's on my end, I'm just not seeing it.

523
00:36:52.640 --> 00:36:54.800
I can't see anything in the chat.

524
00:36:54.800 --> 00:36:56.040
I'm sitting here thinking,

525
00:36:56.040 --> 00:37:00.040
maybe it's my Zoom, maybe it's not letting me see chats.

526
00:37:00.040 --> 00:37:01.880
Okay, so just no one's posted yet.

527
00:37:01.880 --> 00:37:05.520
Okay, so yeah, my yellow flag was I was a single mom.

528
00:37:05.520 --> 00:37:07.040
I didn't like to receive help.

529
00:37:07.040 --> 00:37:08.640
I liked to do it all myself.

530
00:37:08.640 --> 00:37:10.840
I was super rigid and structured.

531
00:37:10.840 --> 00:37:12.320
Things had to be a certain way

532
00:37:12.320 --> 00:37:15.320
because I was like in survival mode.

533
00:37:15.320 --> 00:37:17.920
So that was one of my yellow flags.

534
00:37:17.920 --> 00:37:20.720
I'm sure my husband sometimes still struggles with that

535
00:37:20.720 --> 00:37:22.720
because again, now I don't have just one child,

536
00:37:22.720 --> 00:37:24.560
I have three children.

537
00:37:24.560 --> 00:37:28.960
And I'm constantly having to try to keep order in the house.

538
00:37:28.960 --> 00:37:32.360
And my husband is like, happy-go-lucky.

539
00:37:32.360 --> 00:37:37.360
So that's where we have a complementary opposite, right?

540
00:37:37.520 --> 00:37:42.240
So where I am very like driven, let's get things done,

541
00:37:42.240 --> 00:37:44.720
let's have structure order in the home.

542
00:37:44.720 --> 00:37:47.520
He's like, fly by the seat of your pants,

543
00:37:47.520 --> 00:37:50.120
like everything will happen as it's supposed to,

544
00:37:50.120 --> 00:37:51.320
we're all good.

545
00:37:51.320 --> 00:37:55.880
And so both, like those can be yellow flags for both of us.

546
00:37:55.880 --> 00:37:58.840
Now we are complementary opposite and we kind of help

547
00:37:58.840 --> 00:38:02.840
where my husband needs to have more structure,

548
00:38:02.840 --> 00:38:04.760
I'm helpful to him.

549
00:38:04.760 --> 00:38:09.200
Now where he is more happy-go-lucky

550
00:38:09.200 --> 00:38:13.560
helps me to loosen my reins a bit, okay?

551
00:38:13.560 --> 00:38:16.120
So that was one of my yellow flags.

552
00:38:16.120 --> 00:38:20.080
And I had to be willing and I still have to be willing

553
00:38:20.080 --> 00:38:23.160
to sometimes release that, all right?

554
00:38:23.160 --> 00:38:24.480
Thank you, Shawnee, for sharing.

555
00:38:24.480 --> 00:38:28.840
So exaggeration, yeah, so some people can look at that

556
00:38:28.840 --> 00:38:29.840
and be like, oh, I don't know,

557
00:38:29.840 --> 00:38:30.680
I don't know if I want someone

558
00:38:30.680 --> 00:38:32.720
who's exaggerating all the time.

559
00:38:32.720 --> 00:38:36.600
Hating your work, that's a good one, all right?

560
00:38:36.600 --> 00:38:38.560
No desire for community,

561
00:38:38.560 --> 00:38:41.080
disconnected relationships with family.

562
00:38:41.080 --> 00:38:46.080
Yes, so those for some people may be a yellow flag.

563
00:38:46.880 --> 00:38:50.320
And as they get to know you and see,

564
00:38:50.320 --> 00:38:52.480
are you working in a healthy way

565
00:38:52.480 --> 00:38:55.160
to overcome some of those things,

566
00:38:55.160 --> 00:38:58.720
that can then show more of a green light, okay?

567
00:38:58.720 --> 00:39:01.720
So again, we're all gonna have yellow flags

568
00:39:01.720 --> 00:39:05.040
and God's not gonna just make us work

569
00:39:05.040 --> 00:39:08.080
on all of those things at once, all right?

570
00:39:08.080 --> 00:39:12.360
I'm still having to work on my yellow flags, all right?

571
00:39:12.360 --> 00:39:17.360
So a yellow flag that my husband had was he was a widow.

572
00:39:20.240 --> 00:39:23.880
And I say that because early on,

573
00:39:23.880 --> 00:39:25.760
and this was another yellow flag of his,

574
00:39:25.760 --> 00:39:30.280
is that he kind of deep dived pretty early on.

575
00:39:30.280 --> 00:39:32.680
And I was like, hold on a second.

576
00:39:32.680 --> 00:39:37.680
And so he was sharing with me some of his drama

577
00:39:37.680 --> 00:39:40.360
from his late wife.

578
00:39:40.400 --> 00:39:42.320
And I remember thinking, hold on,

579
00:39:42.320 --> 00:39:46.120
this woman is not even on this earth to defend herself.

580
00:39:47.120 --> 00:39:50.400
So I had to be like, I took those things

581
00:39:50.400 --> 00:39:54.440
to my community here and shared those.

582
00:39:54.440 --> 00:39:55.880
And Jackie was able to be like,

583
00:39:55.880 --> 00:39:58.400
look, don't think too much into it.

584
00:39:58.400 --> 00:40:00.000
Like, give yourself time.

585
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.800
Because this was all happened before I met him in person.

586
00:40:02.800 --> 00:40:05.160
And I was ready to be like, boy, bye.

587
00:40:06.560 --> 00:40:09.360
Because I was like, that's a red flag.

588
00:40:09.360 --> 00:40:14.360
And she's like, stop, have fun, get yourself off the ledge,

589
00:40:16.000 --> 00:40:18.680
learn a little bit more.

590
00:40:18.680 --> 00:40:23.680
And so as I learned, I saw my husband and he was teachable.

591
00:40:25.040 --> 00:40:26.400
He went to therapy.

592
00:40:26.400 --> 00:40:28.560
He was getting counseling for that stuff.

593
00:40:28.560 --> 00:40:33.080
He had been in a very toxic marriage for 11 years.

594
00:40:33.960 --> 00:40:36.840
And it did show up in him.

595
00:40:36.840 --> 00:40:40.200
But I saw how he was growing from that.

596
00:40:40.200 --> 00:40:44.120
And then through time, obviously I met the therapist

597
00:40:44.120 --> 00:40:48.520
and she was even to share with me what that looked like.

598
00:40:48.520 --> 00:40:52.280
So again, like, if he was just gonna be negative

599
00:40:52.280 --> 00:40:57.280
about his past relationship and not show me any,

600
00:40:57.360 --> 00:41:01.720
like, teachable, solid stuff from that,

601
00:41:01.720 --> 00:41:04.520
then that might've eventually shifted to a red flag

602
00:41:04.520 --> 00:41:07.360
because he might've just been like negative

603
00:41:07.360 --> 00:41:10.000
and constantly not trying to help, you know,

604
00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:13.160
heal and get help for himself.

605
00:41:13.160 --> 00:41:17.800
But with time, I saw that that wasn't the case, all right?

606
00:41:17.800 --> 00:41:22.200
So those are just good to be thinking about.

607
00:41:22.200 --> 00:41:23.400
What is a yellow flag?

608
00:41:23.400 --> 00:41:24.560
What's a red flag?

609
00:41:24.560 --> 00:41:25.640
What's a green flag?

610
00:41:25.640 --> 00:41:29.280
Okay, so you got someone, yellow flag is suspicious.

611
00:41:29.280 --> 00:41:30.960
A person has to earn your trust.

612
00:41:30.960 --> 00:41:33.480
Okay, so yeah, that's a yellow flag.

613
00:41:33.480 --> 00:41:36.440
It's like learning to kind of let that guard down,

614
00:41:36.440 --> 00:41:38.800
stepping into being God defended.

615
00:41:38.800 --> 00:41:41.000
You may have situations when you're dating

616
00:41:41.000 --> 00:41:44.520
where, you know, that might get triggered at times,

617
00:41:44.520 --> 00:41:47.120
but are you willing to work through that

618
00:41:47.120 --> 00:41:48.720
with someone that you're dating?

619
00:41:48.720 --> 00:41:52.040
And are they gonna be willing to work with you as well?

620
00:41:52.040 --> 00:41:55.080
So that's how, again, like, I like that we see

621
00:41:55.120 --> 00:41:58.200
what these yellow flags look like.

622
00:41:59.240 --> 00:42:03.120
Bad mouthing their ex and not taking in a responsibility.

623
00:42:03.120 --> 00:42:07.000
That's not, I wouldn't say that necessarily is a red flag.

624
00:42:07.000 --> 00:42:10.520
Okay, now they may have some hurt there.

625
00:42:10.520 --> 00:42:14.120
Now, if you see that they're not willing to,

626
00:42:14.120 --> 00:42:17.520
and it shows up in other areas of their life,

627
00:42:17.520 --> 00:42:21.080
and they're just not willing, then yeah,

628
00:42:21.080 --> 00:42:22.720
that would kind of show you

629
00:42:22.720 --> 00:42:24.800
they don't have a teachable heart.

630
00:42:25.480 --> 00:42:27.520
They might not be mature enough yet.

631
00:42:27.520 --> 00:42:30.840
Because again, we want those men with the three M's.

632
00:42:30.840 --> 00:42:32.440
Are they marriage-minded?

633
00:42:33.320 --> 00:42:35.000
Are they mature?

634
00:42:35.000 --> 00:42:36.840
And are they masculine?

635
00:42:36.840 --> 00:42:39.560
Now I'm talking about divine masculinity.

636
00:42:39.560 --> 00:42:42.280
Okay, not the world's version of masculinity,

637
00:42:42.280 --> 00:42:45.280
but God's version of masculinity.

638
00:42:45.280 --> 00:42:47.760
Okay, so again, those would be things,

639
00:42:47.760 --> 00:42:49.920
like when we tell you about yellow flags

640
00:42:49.920 --> 00:42:51.840
and we all have them,

641
00:42:51.840 --> 00:42:54.400
that's when you just need more information

642
00:42:54.400 --> 00:42:57.560
to see is it yellow turning red,

643
00:42:57.560 --> 00:43:00.080
or is it yellow turning green?

644
00:43:00.080 --> 00:43:05.080
So I wouldn't say until you have more information, Alexis,

645
00:43:05.640 --> 00:43:07.960
it's not a red flag until you get more information.

646
00:43:07.960 --> 00:43:11.600
And this is sometimes where as you get to know a person

647
00:43:11.600 --> 00:43:14.000
and certain situations come up,

648
00:43:14.000 --> 00:43:15.240
or maybe they're constantly,

649
00:43:15.240 --> 00:43:17.720
every time that you are out with them

650
00:43:17.720 --> 00:43:20.960
and they're constantly bad mouthing their ex,

651
00:43:20.960 --> 00:43:23.880
I would say, if it happens like two or three times,

652
00:43:23.880 --> 00:43:25.440
just say, hey.

653
00:43:25.440 --> 00:43:27.200
So I noticed that,

654
00:43:29.080 --> 00:43:31.160
would it be fair in saying that

655
00:43:31.160 --> 00:43:35.200
there's some frustration that you have with your ex?

656
00:43:35.200 --> 00:43:37.400
I mean, obviously I would imagine they're gonna say,

657
00:43:37.400 --> 00:43:40.120
yeah, well, she did da-da-da-da-da-da.

658
00:43:40.120 --> 00:43:45.120
Okay, well, how are you using that to learn and grow?

659
00:43:46.600 --> 00:43:50.040
Like you can start getting curious about those things

660
00:43:50.040 --> 00:43:52.160
and asking, like, have you ever considered

661
00:43:52.160 --> 00:43:54.640
talking to somebody about that?

662
00:43:55.760 --> 00:43:59.840
And I know that can sometimes be for men.

663
00:43:59.840 --> 00:44:01.800
I mean, who knows?

664
00:44:01.800 --> 00:44:03.360
You might see a response.

665
00:44:03.360 --> 00:44:05.080
If they start getting aggressive to me,

666
00:44:05.080 --> 00:44:06.360
then it'd be like, okay,

667
00:44:06.360 --> 00:44:09.880
they're not willing to look at that just yet.

668
00:44:09.880 --> 00:44:12.760
But then there's also the other situation where,

669
00:44:14.240 --> 00:44:18.000
I know some people, and I had this as well,

670
00:44:18.040 --> 00:44:21.440
where I was, it was a yellow flag for me

671
00:44:21.440 --> 00:44:25.960
if a guy was a father and wasn't involved in his kid's life.

672
00:44:27.320 --> 00:44:29.560
That was a yellow flag for me.

673
00:44:29.560 --> 00:44:32.360
But I couldn't assume it was because they didn't want to

674
00:44:33.440 --> 00:44:34.640
or they couldn't.

675
00:44:35.880 --> 00:44:40.680
Sometimes it may actually be because the mother

676
00:44:41.840 --> 00:44:44.000
was difficult and unhealthy herself

677
00:44:44.000 --> 00:44:47.440
and refused for him to be in their life.

678
00:44:47.880 --> 00:44:50.560
So you see how sometimes a yellow flag to us might,

679
00:44:50.560 --> 00:44:53.000
we might just jump to conclusions,

680
00:44:53.000 --> 00:44:54.520
may not be a yellow flag.

681
00:44:54.520 --> 00:44:56.760
Like we don't know the full story.

682
00:44:56.760 --> 00:44:58.520
Because Jackie will share that,

683
00:44:58.520 --> 00:44:59.680
especially with.

684
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.500
fathers, single fathers, and a lot of people, single fathers

685
00:45:05.500 --> 00:45:11.320
can easily catch a bad rap. And we forget that there's toxic

686
00:45:11.320 --> 00:45:15.840
women out there that keep their children away from their

687
00:45:15.840 --> 00:45:19.520
fathers. Some of them within good reason, you know, maybe

688
00:45:19.520 --> 00:45:22.760
they're abusive, or they're an alcoholic or drug addict, they

689
00:45:22.760 --> 00:45:25.600
are going to, you know, give, you know, harm them in some way.

690
00:45:26.160 --> 00:45:31.160
Those are all good reasons. But sometimes, it's just because the

691
00:45:31.160 --> 00:45:36.680
mother is hurt and angry, and she is unhealthy. And she's

692
00:45:36.680 --> 00:45:41.960
using her child as a way to get back at how she's hurt. So you

693
00:45:41.960 --> 00:45:45.560
see how sometimes we can't just jump to a conclusion, we have to

694
00:45:45.560 --> 00:45:48.640
get more information. Now, that doesn't mean that we interrogate

695
00:45:48.640 --> 00:45:52.160
these men and ask them all these questions. It's and it's also

696
00:45:52.160 --> 00:45:56.240
why we are just gradually getting to know someone. And

697
00:45:56.280 --> 00:46:00.680
again, Jackie, we'll talk to you ladies tonight about level two

698
00:46:00.680 --> 00:46:05.560
relationship and how to do that. Well. Okay, so these are all

699
00:46:05.560 --> 00:46:08.800
things that will occur in level two as you're getting to know

700
00:46:08.800 --> 00:46:14.160
somebody. Um, did I get okay, him mentioning he doesn't have a

701
00:46:14.160 --> 00:46:18.560
job and say he's looking for work. Okay, that can be a yellow

702
00:46:18.560 --> 00:46:22.320
flag. For sure. It can be a yellow flag. You know, because

703
00:46:22.320 --> 00:46:26.920
again, you need to see is he in fact looking for work. You know,

704
00:46:26.920 --> 00:46:32.840
you're going to see that through time. Does he is he showing the

705
00:46:32.840 --> 00:46:38.760
intention of doing it? Maybe they, you know, I mean, we're in

706
00:46:38.760 --> 00:46:43.280
a economy right now is in a crisis, right? I mean, jobs are

707
00:46:43.280 --> 00:46:48.680
hard to come by income is like things cost more now. And I can

708
00:46:48.680 --> 00:46:52.520
tell you this much, there's a grocery store costs way more

709
00:46:52.520 --> 00:46:56.920
than it used to a couple of years ago. And you know, people

710
00:46:56.920 --> 00:47:01.240
aren't getting raises to match that cost of living increase,

711
00:47:01.240 --> 00:47:03.480
right? So it's a little bit harder. So some people might

712
00:47:03.480 --> 00:47:07.120
even, you know, they had a job and now it's like, man, I need a

713
00:47:07.120 --> 00:47:10.160
second job. And so sometimes it's a little bit harder to find

714
00:47:10.160 --> 00:47:13.520
work. All right. Are they like, are they going out and looking

715
00:47:13.520 --> 00:47:17.000
for work? Are they using gifts and talents? I mean, there's all

716
00:47:17.000 --> 00:47:19.680
sorts of things. Again, it's just finding out more

717
00:47:19.680 --> 00:47:25.120
information. It's just things to kind of keep on like, just keep

718
00:47:25.120 --> 00:47:29.360
it in your peripheral. You know, as you're getting to know them

719
00:47:29.360 --> 00:47:34.480
and seeing is it coming up? And it's showing a red flag? Or is

720
00:47:34.480 --> 00:47:39.000
it coming up and showing you green? And so again, ladies, we

721
00:47:39.000 --> 00:47:41.960
could sit here and just go over all these different types of

722
00:47:41.960 --> 00:47:48.000
flags. But the best way for us to work through all of these is

723
00:47:48.280 --> 00:47:53.680
share in our community, as you have things come up. And we can

724
00:47:53.680 --> 00:47:58.480
discuss how to use like look at those yellow flags and see,

725
00:47:58.480 --> 00:48:02.480
okay, am I looking at it with the eyes and the lens of like

726
00:48:02.520 --> 00:48:08.600
being open minded and also being cautious. And then as you find

727
00:48:08.600 --> 00:48:12.480
out more information, share that with us. And then we can

728
00:48:12.480 --> 00:48:16.360
help those blind spots and say, yeah, this is looking more red,

729
00:48:16.400 --> 00:48:19.600
or you know what, this is looking a little bit green. And

730
00:48:19.600 --> 00:48:22.600
we can even give you questions and promptings of how to

731
00:48:22.600 --> 00:48:27.360
approach some of those yellow flags. Okay. So Joanne says when

732
00:48:27.360 --> 00:48:30.160
they text, they constantly misspell words and proper

733
00:48:30.160 --> 00:48:37.160
grammar, abbreviate too much in slang. So ladies, I am a

734
00:48:37.160 --> 00:48:42.440
horrible speller. I have horrible grammar. I just learned

735
00:48:42.440 --> 00:48:47.280
that my youngest son is diagnosed with dyslexia. And he

736
00:48:47.280 --> 00:48:51.200
struggles with spelling and I would hate for when he gets

737
00:48:51.240 --> 00:48:55.760
older. Now, thankfully, we've got resources in place at school

738
00:48:55.760 --> 00:48:58.000
that will hopefully help him overcome some of those

739
00:48:58.000 --> 00:49:05.520
challenges. But I would hate for a woman to look at that as, oh,

740
00:49:05.520 --> 00:49:10.320
that's a red flag. You know what, maybe we don't we don't

741
00:49:10.320 --> 00:49:15.600
know, we need more information. Okay. Now what I will say is, if

742
00:49:15.600 --> 00:49:21.640
you're noticing like, the like the way the the wording is, it

743
00:49:21.640 --> 00:49:25.280
sounds like broken English, sometimes that can be an

744
00:49:25.280 --> 00:49:28.960
indicator that you're dealing with a scammer. So the best way

745
00:49:28.960 --> 00:49:31.520
to find out more information with that is ladies, we

746
00:49:31.520 --> 00:49:36.320
encourage you to not be on the chatting and those apps for more

747
00:49:36.320 --> 00:49:42.040
than a week with a person, get them on a video call, or a live

748
00:49:42.040 --> 00:49:47.240
date. All right. We don't want y'all having like texting

749
00:49:47.240 --> 00:49:51.080
relationships, because it's not really a relationship. Pull

750
00:49:51.080 --> 00:49:55.560
those things off and do and do life do live things. Okay, so

751
00:49:55.560 --> 00:49:59.280
get on a video, because I will tell you, majority of the time,

752
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.540
Scammers are not going to do a video call.

753
00:50:05.260 --> 00:50:08.540
So that would be like,

754
00:50:08.540 --> 00:50:10.340
okay, if that's the yellow flag,

755
00:50:10.340 --> 00:50:12.060
you need to find out more information,

756
00:50:12.060 --> 00:50:15.460
get them in front of you.

757
00:50:15.460 --> 00:50:18.020
We coach that a lot.

758
00:50:18.020 --> 00:50:20.900
So if you need help with that, let us know.

759
00:50:20.900 --> 00:50:25.420
Alexis, yes, tonight will be recorded as well.

760
00:50:25.660 --> 00:50:29.380
For employment, they write CEO, owner,

761
00:50:29.420 --> 00:50:30.860
self-employed, et cetera.

762
00:50:30.860 --> 00:50:35.180
So Joanne, help me understand why that's a yellow flag.

763
00:50:37.940 --> 00:50:42.940
So, again, when you're online and you look at profiles

764
00:50:43.300 --> 00:50:46.540
and you see someone that says owner or CEO,

765
00:50:46.540 --> 00:50:49.420
I feel like that's like a yellow flag to me

766
00:50:49.420 --> 00:50:54.420
until I see that they are actually have an employment

767
00:50:55.380 --> 00:50:57.500
or is running a company.

768
00:50:57.500 --> 00:51:01.100
Because for somebody who's unemployed,

769
00:51:01.100 --> 00:51:03.480
they could just easily say I'm the CEO.

770
00:51:04.480 --> 00:51:07.900
Or, you know, so that's why I say that.

771
00:51:07.900 --> 00:51:11.860
So you're just wanting to see career-wise, right?

772
00:51:11.860 --> 00:51:14.100
Like making sure that they are holding a career.

773
00:51:14.100 --> 00:51:17.220
So let me ask you, have you been in relationships

774
00:51:17.220 --> 00:51:22.220
with anybody in the past where they didn't have a career?

775
00:51:23.580 --> 00:51:25.620
Or that maybe you got lied to,

776
00:51:25.620 --> 00:51:29.220
they made them look like they had their stuff together

777
00:51:29.220 --> 00:51:30.060
and they didn't.

778
00:51:30.060 --> 00:51:34.420
So can I ask you, is there anything

779
00:51:34.420 --> 00:51:36.740
that gets stirred up in you about that?

780
00:51:36.740 --> 00:51:41.660
Like, does it put you on the defense in any way?

781
00:51:43.020 --> 00:51:44.500
Okay.

782
00:51:44.500 --> 00:51:45.700
I guess to me.

783
00:51:47.500 --> 00:51:48.980
Help me understand why this would be,

784
00:51:48.980 --> 00:51:50.200
like, I mean, I get what you're saying,

785
00:51:50.200 --> 00:51:52.000
like you'd wanna see that they have a career,

786
00:51:52.000 --> 00:51:56.240
but I wouldn't necessarily say these are like yellow flags.

787
00:51:56.240 --> 00:51:57.520
Like when I think of yellow flags,

788
00:51:57.520 --> 00:51:59.760
it's like, are we being suspicious?

789
00:52:01.440 --> 00:52:02.280
Cause I'm-

790
00:52:02.280 --> 00:52:04.240
Oh, go ahead, go ahead.

791
00:52:04.240 --> 00:52:08.000
Maybe it's just me, maybe my assumption,

792
00:52:08.000 --> 00:52:10.200
but I guess I just don't assume that people

793
00:52:10.200 --> 00:52:13.320
who are business owners or have their own company

794
00:52:13.320 --> 00:52:17.360
or CEOs are on these dating apps.

795
00:52:17.360 --> 00:52:22.360
So that's why I'm like, I'm new to this dating app.

796
00:52:22.840 --> 00:52:25.600
So I can, like, again, I could be totally wrong,

797
00:52:25.600 --> 00:52:28.960
but most of the time you'll see, you know, waiters,

798
00:52:28.960 --> 00:52:30.920
waitresses, you know, all the different people,

799
00:52:30.920 --> 00:52:33.000
people put like the name of their company

800
00:52:33.000 --> 00:52:36.160
or where they work, but then somebody just put CEO,

801
00:52:36.160 --> 00:52:38.060
but they don't put a name of their company.

802
00:52:38.060 --> 00:52:41.200
Or it's just like, you're the CEO of who, of what?

803
00:52:41.200 --> 00:52:43.200
I mean, you could be, you may not want to-

804
00:52:43.200 --> 00:52:46.920
I was gonna say, I'm gonna take a,

805
00:52:46.920 --> 00:52:48.360
I'm gonna take a poll here.

806
00:52:48.360 --> 00:52:50.360
What have any ladies that are on right now

807
00:52:50.360 --> 00:52:51.900
that own their own business?

808
00:52:52.800 --> 00:52:55.120
Raise your avatar hand or raise your hand.

809
00:52:55.120 --> 00:52:57.360
Okay, so do you see, we have someone here that owns,

810
00:52:57.360 --> 00:53:00.920
we got three, three ladies just on our call,

811
00:53:00.920 --> 00:53:02.360
they own their own business.

812
00:53:02.360 --> 00:53:05.120
Are you ladies on online dating

813
00:53:05.120 --> 00:53:07.080
or have you ever been on online dating?

814
00:53:09.720 --> 00:53:10.600
Do you see?

815
00:53:11.480 --> 00:53:14.920
Online dating is from all walks of life.

816
00:53:15.400 --> 00:53:18.560
So I would just keep that in mind, all right?

817
00:53:18.560 --> 00:53:21.760
Here's the thing, like we live in a world now,

818
00:53:21.760 --> 00:53:24.640
it's so fast paced and so fast moving.

819
00:53:24.640 --> 00:53:28.080
We've kind of stepped away from doing life,

820
00:53:28.080 --> 00:53:33.080
in real life that most people nowadays meet online.

821
00:53:34.120 --> 00:53:35.880
I met my husband online.

822
00:53:37.280 --> 00:53:41.640
Bethany met her husband online, all right?

823
00:53:41.640 --> 00:53:46.640
I met my husband, he was on a Facebook community

824
00:53:48.080 --> 00:53:49.840
for single Christians.

825
00:53:49.840 --> 00:53:52.200
I wasn't in the group, but a lot of my sisters

826
00:53:52.200 --> 00:53:53.760
that were in this community,

827
00:53:53.760 --> 00:53:55.240
the Jackie's community were in that

828
00:53:55.240 --> 00:53:58.680
and they saw him for me, but I still didn't know him.

829
00:53:58.680 --> 00:54:00.600
They didn't know him.

830
00:54:00.600 --> 00:54:02.680
I was online, I was on Facebook dating,

831
00:54:02.680 --> 00:54:05.440
I was on all sorts of websites.

832
00:54:05.440 --> 00:54:10.280
So just, I want to stretch you and take some time

833
00:54:10.320 --> 00:54:15.320
to process where you think that comes from.

834
00:54:16.280 --> 00:54:18.400
Is there a lie that's attached with that,

835
00:54:18.400 --> 00:54:22.040
that people that own their own business and companies

836
00:54:22.040 --> 00:54:25.240
can't go searching and find love online?

837
00:54:26.240 --> 00:54:29.320
And I also will preface, so those three ladies

838
00:54:29.320 --> 00:54:32.120
that you all, you own a business,

839
00:54:32.120 --> 00:54:34.880
on your profiles, are you telling people

840
00:54:34.880 --> 00:54:36.040
what your business is?

841
00:54:40.800 --> 00:54:45.200
I see, Shawnee said yes, but Alexis and Mariska,

842
00:54:45.200 --> 00:54:47.000
I'm sorry if I butchered your name.

843
00:54:48.120 --> 00:54:52.280
Do you openly share with people what your company is?

844
00:54:54.640 --> 00:54:57.360
You can unmute too, if you want to, it's easier.

845
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:06.960
I don't because it's related to the health and wellness and the guys normally shocked out because

846
00:55:06.960 --> 00:55:13.920
of the like kind of hearing about naturopathic doctor the thing that I'm eating only grass and

847
00:55:13.920 --> 00:55:23.840
you know so I'm it's it's very specific so. Gotcha Alexis do you share your business?

848
00:55:23.840 --> 00:55:32.960
So I am a personal health coach and I don't that's not written in my bio at the top of my page but if

849
00:55:32.960 --> 00:55:39.280
you scroll through my page you can probably tell um the only thing I wrote in my description is

850
00:55:39.280 --> 00:55:46.400
that I help people get healthy so in a roundabout way. Okay but you see how we're not maybe going to

851
00:55:46.400 --> 00:55:53.200
be super broad in that because actually that is sorry I got something on my lip here um

852
00:55:54.080 --> 00:56:00.560
sometimes that could be a safety issue I know um it was about a year ago or maybe it was like

853
00:56:00.560 --> 00:56:08.320
six or seven months ago we had a woman in our phase two she was a doctor all right so she's

854
00:56:08.320 --> 00:56:14.240
somebody who's who's got her stuff together she wasn't sharing with people that she was a doctor

855
00:56:14.880 --> 00:56:21.360
or because then she could be looked up so so again like if you're sharing somebody a company

856
00:56:21.360 --> 00:56:29.120
that you own and maybe it's a business you get some crazy like stalkers so just keep that in

857
00:56:29.120 --> 00:56:32.800
mind that sometimes maybe a man is putting that out there because he's not trying to get some

858
00:56:32.800 --> 00:56:39.280
woman trying to stalk him so that he knows like she knows where to find him so sometimes it's a

859
00:56:39.920 --> 00:56:45.920
safety thing right you see that there's women here in our community there they they own their

860
00:56:45.920 --> 00:56:54.560
own businesses CEOs they're they're open about it okay so just want to give you that different

861
00:56:54.560 --> 00:57:03.600
perspective okay and hopes helps helps bring some of that you know down okay um and just again

862
00:57:03.600 --> 00:57:08.720
because ladies you're doing dating differently now all right we're going to start breaking off

863
00:57:08.720 --> 00:57:14.720
some of those counterfeits we're going to break off some of those lies all right um i want to get

864
00:57:14.720 --> 00:57:21.360
us to our breakout sessions here in a moment but i also want to talk because i've noticed this come

865
00:57:21.360 --> 00:57:26.080
up a little bit and maybe not so much with the ladies in here but even in the past and i'm

866
00:57:26.080 --> 00:57:30.240
starting to kind of see and get something in my spirit where i'm like you know what we need to

867
00:57:30.240 --> 00:57:38.080
have a conversation so ladies you don't have to go all magnum pi on some of these dudes okay

868
00:57:38.960 --> 00:57:45.520
those of you that are my age maybe a little older you know what i mean okay magnum pi was an 80s tv

869
00:57:45.520 --> 00:57:51.520
show it's a personal investigator you're going out and you're scoping you're getting all the dirt on

870
00:57:51.520 --> 00:57:57.840
somebody ladies you don't have to do that okay especially with the guys that are inappropriate

871
00:57:57.840 --> 00:58:04.400
with you i've seen that come up a couple times in our community here recently where some men have

872
00:58:04.400 --> 00:58:12.640
been super inappropriate and women are trying to justify why they need to block them so ladies you

873
00:58:12.640 --> 00:58:17.600
don't you don't have to go personal investigation if they're inappropriate it's a blessing block

874
00:58:17.600 --> 00:58:20.960
and that does not mean that you have to tell them that you're blocking them it doesn't mean that you

875
00:58:20.960 --> 00:58:27.440
don't have that you tell them like what they need to do differently it's literally bless them with

876
00:58:27.440 --> 00:58:32.240
you know you and papa bless them and then just block them all right you don't have to go start

877
00:58:32.240 --> 00:58:37.600
digging dirt on them to justify why you had to block them and oh i found out they're married

878
00:58:37.600 --> 00:58:46.160
oh i found out he's got you know whatever like he's got a rap sheet he's been arrested three times

879
00:58:46.160 --> 00:58:52.320
like you we don't we don't need any of that all right the guy's inappropriate you block them all

880
00:58:52.320 --> 00:59:01.760
right we don't need to invest time on someone that is inappropriate so don't don't go don't go magnum

881
00:59:01.760 --> 00:59:08.320
pi in them okay no because if they're gross and inappropriate boy bye that's all i need i'm not

882
00:59:08.320 --> 00:59:14.000
going to waste any more energy or effort on on people that are like that this also goes for some

883
00:59:14.000 --> 00:59:20.000
of you ladies that want to go digging up on social media with men you want to go find the dirt

884
00:59:21.200 --> 00:59:26.160
all right let's really practice using wisdom and discernment and practice being god-defending

885
00:59:26.160 --> 00:59:32.480
um because again some of us will want to make yellow flags into red but remember we all have

886
00:59:32.480 --> 00:59:36.480
yellow flags it's kind of why i brought up the whole yellow red green flag so remember

887
00:59:37.200 --> 00:59:46.000
we all have yellow flags we all have a past okay i don't know about you all but i have a past

888
00:59:48.160 --> 00:59:54.160
i mean my biggest thing like a yellow some people thought a yellow flag for me was that i had a child

889
00:59:54.160 --> 00:59:59.760
and i was never married i had some guys literally

890
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.640
not want to date me or not even give me a time of day.

891
01:00:04.640 --> 01:00:06.040
Even in Jackie's community,

892
01:00:06.040 --> 01:00:08.160
when she reached out to some of her guys

893
01:00:08.160 --> 01:00:11.220
and tried to spotlight me,

894
01:00:12.600 --> 01:00:15.060
some guys were like, that's a yellow flag.

895
01:00:15.060 --> 01:00:19.200
She's never been married and she has a kid.

896
01:00:19.200 --> 01:00:20.360
Ladies, that hurt.

897
01:00:20.360 --> 01:00:21.600
Like, yeah, I had a past.

898
01:00:21.600 --> 01:00:24.120
I didn't do it God's way.

899
01:00:25.440 --> 01:00:28.280
And I took that with the Lord

900
01:00:28.280 --> 01:00:29.840
and he forgave me through that.

901
01:00:30.680 --> 01:00:32.360
And I like repented of that.

902
01:00:32.360 --> 01:00:34.560
And he convicted my life, he changed my life,

903
01:00:34.560 --> 01:00:37.020
but my son is a huge blessing.

904
01:00:38.280 --> 01:00:41.280
And I don't want you ladies,

905
01:00:41.280 --> 01:00:46.080
I would never want any men to take your yellow flags

906
01:00:46.080 --> 01:00:48.880
and judge you for that without getting to know you first.

907
01:00:50.240 --> 01:00:52.960
So that's why I bring this yellow flags up,

908
01:00:52.960 --> 01:00:55.600
and I bring up not digging through people's dirt

909
01:00:55.600 --> 01:00:58.000
and people's past, okay?

910
01:00:58.000 --> 01:01:02.320
Using discernment, using wisdom, using this community

911
01:01:02.320 --> 01:01:05.240
to come and share with us what you're experiencing

912
01:01:05.240 --> 01:01:09.280
and we will help you through that, okay?

913
01:01:10.840 --> 01:01:14.320
So I think we've covered a lot.

914
01:01:16.920 --> 01:01:19.120
Victoria, so yeah, your mom can relate.

915
01:01:19.120 --> 01:01:20.880
She had a kid before becoming a Christian.

916
01:01:20.880 --> 01:01:23.080
So when she met my dad,

917
01:01:23.080 --> 01:01:25.240
my dad was sincere and didn't see it as a red flag.

918
01:01:25.240 --> 01:01:29.160
So yes, that's huge, y'all.

919
01:01:30.400 --> 01:01:34.200
So it was part of my past,

920
01:01:34.200 --> 01:01:37.600
but it doesn't mean that it was something for someone,

921
01:01:37.600 --> 01:01:42.600
like, thank God my husband didn't see that as a red flag

922
01:01:43.760 --> 01:01:47.840
and not give me an opportunity to get to know me

923
01:01:47.840 --> 01:01:49.400
and to get to know my,

924
01:01:49.400 --> 01:01:52.240
obviously, I wasn't introducing him to my son

925
01:01:52.240 --> 01:01:53.560
in the very beginning,

926
01:01:53.560 --> 01:01:57.600
but my husband loves my son as his own,

927
01:01:58.480 --> 01:02:02.080
and I'm very blessed and I'm very thankful for that.

928
01:02:02.080 --> 01:02:06.560
But again, I had some dudes that did not,

929
01:02:06.560 --> 01:02:08.520
they were like, no, Jackie, I don't wanna date her.

930
01:02:08.520 --> 01:02:11.480
She has a kid and she's never been married.

931
01:02:11.480 --> 01:02:14.240
Like, she must not be that strong of a Christian

932
01:02:14.240 --> 01:02:16.840
because she was doing things

933
01:02:16.840 --> 01:02:18.880
that she wasn't supposed to be doing.

934
01:02:18.880 --> 01:02:22.320
Like, no, they never really got to know me

935
01:02:22.320 --> 01:02:24.200
and they never got to see my heart

936
01:02:24.200 --> 01:02:29.200
and how God refined that and redeemed that for me

937
01:02:29.600 --> 01:02:33.560
and redeemed it from my legacy as well

938
01:02:33.560 --> 01:02:37.400
and what God wants to do in my life and my family's life.

939
01:02:40.720 --> 01:02:43.680
Yes, so just keep that in mind

940
01:02:43.680 --> 01:02:47.240
when you are seeing yellow flags come up,

941
01:02:47.240 --> 01:02:49.920
think about what yellow flags you may have

942
01:02:49.920 --> 01:02:52.480
and do you want someone to be so quick to judge

943
01:02:52.480 --> 01:02:54.840
and start digging in your past?

944
01:02:54.840 --> 01:02:58.040
Because here's the thing, ladies, you are God defended.

945
01:02:58.040 --> 01:02:59.240
All right, I'm not saying

946
01:02:59.240 --> 01:03:01.880
that those yellow flags can't be read,

947
01:03:01.880 --> 01:03:06.040
but let's really give men an opportunity to get to know them.

948
01:03:06.040 --> 01:03:09.400
Now, obviously, we always say it's a yes until it's a no.

949
01:03:09.400 --> 01:03:11.800
A no is when they're completely inappropriate.

950
01:03:11.800 --> 01:03:12.960
All right, and we can, again,

951
01:03:12.960 --> 01:03:15.280
if you have questions about that,

952
01:03:15.280 --> 01:03:18.240
come to our community, share that, okay?

953
01:03:18.960 --> 01:03:20.480
I'm going to open the floor up right now

954
01:03:20.480 --> 01:03:22.840
for you ladies to ask your questions.

955
01:03:24.520 --> 01:03:27.160
And then I might, usually I like to do breakout rooms,

956
01:03:27.160 --> 01:03:31.080
but we spent a lot of time here,

957
01:03:31.080 --> 01:03:34.200
so maybe we can do some of these questions if there's time

958
01:03:34.200 --> 01:03:36.360
and we can kind of do them with each other

959
01:03:36.360 --> 01:03:37.400
here in this group.

960
01:03:38.280 --> 01:03:41.760
All right, Mareshka, if you want to go,

961
01:03:41.760 --> 01:03:43.280
I see your hand first.

962
01:03:44.240 --> 01:03:49.240
I just want to share something that maybe just to put

963
01:03:49.640 --> 01:03:52.720
a little bit of awareness in the community

964
01:03:52.720 --> 01:03:56.440
because I think I spoke for two weeks

965
01:03:56.440 --> 01:03:59.280
with the completely stranger.

966
01:03:59.280 --> 01:04:03.880
I don't even know who he was and I followed instructions.

967
01:04:03.880 --> 01:04:06.880
So we talked for about a week.

968
01:04:06.880 --> 01:04:08.880
There is absolutely nothing inappropriate.

969
01:04:08.880 --> 01:04:11.640
He was presenting himself a widow

970
01:04:12.560 --> 01:04:15.800
and we spoke and everything was fine.

971
01:04:16.920 --> 01:04:20.720
He was like sending me devotionals in the morning

972
01:04:20.720 --> 01:04:22.440
and it was amazing.

973
01:04:22.440 --> 01:04:23.880
It was honestly amazing.

974
01:04:23.880 --> 01:04:28.080
Then we went on Zoom and on Zoom,

975
01:04:28.080 --> 01:04:29.960
it was something very weird

976
01:04:29.960 --> 01:04:33.760
because I Zoom with business clients all the time.

977
01:04:33.760 --> 01:04:37.800
So it was virtually recorded

978
01:04:37.800 --> 01:04:40.000
and he was speaking live to me,

979
01:04:40.000 --> 01:04:41.840
but there is a recording

980
01:04:41.840 --> 01:04:45.280
and I can see that it's not synchronized

981
01:04:45.280 --> 01:04:48.800
with what he's saying and what I hear.

982
01:04:48.800 --> 01:04:53.120
And more video with a cell phone

983
01:04:53.120 --> 01:04:56.760
and he's one of the also like a self-employed

984
01:04:56.760 --> 01:04:58.760
and like it was a big business.

985
01:04:58.760 --> 01:05:00.080
So I.

986
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.220
After that meeting and the meeting went like 15 minutes. I was thinking something is wrong. Maybe so anyway

987
01:05:06.220 --> 01:05:11.300
And it was quick and after that meeting I was thinking like all red flags are up

988
01:05:12.460 --> 01:05:18.760
This was this was the it was like a 15-minute zoom right and I think Bethany responded to you

989
01:05:19.080 --> 01:05:22.720
Yes in the group. So yeah, I love that you brought this up

990
01:05:22.720 --> 01:05:27.440
So ladies if you go under the ask the coach tab, you can read through

991
01:05:28.040 --> 01:05:33.460
What she posted and you know what she described of what happened and then you can kind of see how we

992
01:05:34.240 --> 01:05:40.000
Navigate so with that again ladies when we're when we're doing zoom and live and stuff

993
01:05:41.000 --> 01:05:45.320
We don't want to be giving out our personal information and our phone numbers and things like that

994
01:05:45.320 --> 01:05:46.960
So again, it's why we talk about zoom

995
01:05:46.960 --> 01:05:51.800
but it's being keen and using that discernment of like something doesn't sit well here and

996
01:05:51.960 --> 01:05:54.560
And so that is that you know

997
01:05:54.560 --> 01:06:02.520
And again bringing it to community and then getting getting guidance there and getting advice. So yeah, it's we live in this

998
01:06:03.000 --> 01:06:05.000
technology day and age

999
01:06:05.160 --> 01:06:10.360
Where now we have to even remember that we're dealing with AI

1000
01:06:12.120 --> 01:06:17.240
You know, and so there's sometimes those programs these AI's I mean

1001
01:06:17.240 --> 01:06:21.240
It's just growing into a thing and it's being mindful of that

1002
01:06:21.800 --> 01:06:23.400
so

1003
01:06:23.400 --> 01:06:25.840
You know being being keen on

1004
01:06:26.840 --> 01:06:29.160
Are they not doing zoom calls?

1005
01:06:29.920 --> 01:06:31.200
because of

1006
01:06:31.200 --> 01:06:33.880
Time stuff. So sometimes that they're in a different country

1007
01:06:33.880 --> 01:06:36.800
They're not on the same time zone as us, you know

1008
01:06:36.800 --> 01:06:40.480
If you're in the United States, like there's like a couple hours window

1009
01:06:40.560 --> 01:06:47.200
But then if they're like, oh, I can't can't zoom at that time and then they're they're saying oh I can zoom at like 5

1010
01:06:47.200 --> 01:06:50.160
And 6 a.m. Well, that's not ideal

1011
01:06:50.800 --> 01:06:55.760
So it's just keeping those types of things in mind and if you have those types of situations

1012
01:06:56.000 --> 01:07:01.680
Don't hesitate to come into our community and share with us what's happening because yes

1013
01:07:01.680 --> 01:07:05.720
There are times that they're scammers and I know I think even Bethany had shared

1014
01:07:06.760 --> 01:07:14.480
you know, they they will a lot of times they will disguise them as like they're military or they're widowed and

1015
01:07:15.480 --> 01:07:17.760
They live like overseas

1016
01:07:18.320 --> 01:07:23.080
Like those are sometimes some indicators. I'm not saying that there are not guys that like

1017
01:07:23.640 --> 01:07:30.160
Use online dating that live overseas in our military or whatever, but you're gonna recognize it. Sometimes that happens

1018
01:07:30.160 --> 01:07:32.920
So those are things like yellow flags just keep your guard on

1019
01:07:33.440 --> 01:07:36.720
Okay, so I love that you brought that up because yeah

1020
01:07:36.720 --> 01:07:41.400
We're in this technology world and we have to make sure that we're doing things safely

1021
01:07:41.400 --> 01:07:43.880
And that's what we always encourage you ladies to do

1022
01:07:45.000 --> 01:07:50.400
Communicate with us. Don't give your personal information out. Don't send people money. I can't tell you

1023
01:07:50.400 --> 01:07:53.880
Oh, there was one time I might have been a year or so ago

1024
01:07:54.760 --> 01:07:56.760
someone in our community

1025
01:07:57.440 --> 01:08:00.280
Gave this guy that they were talking to

1026
01:08:01.880 --> 01:08:03.880
Thousands of dollars

1027
01:08:04.800 --> 01:08:06.360
Like

1028
01:08:06.360 --> 01:08:10.720
Because they felt like they had a relationship with them ladies. It's also why we tell you

1029
01:08:11.400 --> 01:08:14.880
Do not do the back-and-forth texting a couple exchanges

1030
01:08:15.640 --> 01:08:17.640
Get on a zoom

1031
01:08:17.720 --> 01:08:23.359
You saw like, you know, he's sending you devotionals and you're like maybe talking about your faith ladies

1032
01:08:23.439 --> 01:08:27.760
We really want to kind of limit the amount of information that we're giving someone

1033
01:08:28.000 --> 01:08:32.000
Especially that first week when we have not met them on zoom or in live

1034
01:08:33.760 --> 01:08:35.319
Okay

1035
01:08:35.319 --> 01:08:37.319
When you start having those

1036
01:08:37.319 --> 01:08:41.800
Exchanges guess what as women we are emotionally driven creatures

1037
01:08:42.040 --> 01:08:46.439
we start forming connection and bonding with people and

1038
01:08:47.160 --> 01:08:51.680
I will tell you scammers are good. They are gonna be charismatic there

1039
01:08:51.680 --> 01:08:59.080
I mean any con artist has charisma. All right, not saying that means somebody has charisma. They're a con artist

1040
01:08:59.080 --> 01:09:01.560
Okay, so don't hear that. Okay, but

1041
01:09:02.520 --> 01:09:07.680
Just keep in mind like that's why don't stay in the texting

1042
01:09:08.600 --> 01:09:14.920
Conversation the back-and-forth. I really encourage you ladies. Don't be texting all day every day

1043
01:09:16.080 --> 01:09:22.520
Until like you've gotten to know them a little bit and you can set boundaries there. We talked about boundaries today

1044
01:09:22.800 --> 01:09:26.560
All right, so I love that you brought that up and you know what? You're not the only one

1045
01:09:26.560 --> 01:09:31.319
I mean I was I fell victim to that not not a con artist not a guy like that

1046
01:09:31.479 --> 01:09:33.560
But I thought I built up this

1047
01:09:33.840 --> 01:09:39.880
Relationship with a gentleman for over a year because we text and talked on the phone every single day for about a year. I

1048
01:09:40.520 --> 01:09:46.040
Was living in Florida. He was living in, Indiana. He'd been to the area that I was living in in, Florida

1049
01:09:46.040 --> 01:09:50.760
He had friends and family there. He eventually moved there and I thought we were in a full-blown relationship

1050
01:09:51.640 --> 01:09:55.520
Come to find out he didn't want to have an exclusive relationship

1051
01:09:55.520 --> 01:09:59.560
I spent an entire year thinking I was in a relationship with this guy

1052
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:08.240
And I was devastated, like it took me a lot of time to heal from that but it's

1053
01:10:08.240 --> 01:10:13.080
because I sat and had like a relationship with someone just on the

1054
01:10:13.080 --> 01:10:20.160
phone. I didn't have real-life connection, I never, I didn't have this program you

1055
01:10:20.160 --> 01:10:25.640
know and then this program comes along and I'm like oh wow I was I I've done

1056
01:10:25.640 --> 01:10:32.680
that. So I say that with love ladies because a lot of the things I probably

1057
01:10:32.680 --> 01:10:38.840
have done myself. All right but know that this community is here for you and to

1058
01:10:38.840 --> 01:10:42.800
support you and like that's why I always tell you bring all of that stuff to our

1059
01:10:42.800 --> 01:10:47.000
community. We're here to share that you know and coach you and give you advice

1060
01:10:47.000 --> 01:10:53.360
and and and learn and grow with each other. My little suggestion is maybe

1061
01:10:53.360 --> 01:11:02.240
after I saw I think somebody's responded about the Google, Google voice,

1062
01:11:02.240 --> 01:11:07.280
through Google maybe some little technical things how we can do it

1063
01:11:07.280 --> 01:11:12.560
without like using Zoom because I'm you know for business purposes I use Zoom

1064
01:11:12.560 --> 01:11:18.960
and I love Zoom but for security purposes how can we use technically and

1065
01:11:18.960 --> 01:11:23.600
what's the other options to use it? So I mean here's the thing is like we talk

1066
01:11:23.600 --> 01:11:27.920
about I think Bethany even shared in that and forgive me if I'm you know

1067
01:11:27.920 --> 01:11:33.000
misguided here is we talk about Google voice so you're not giving out your

1068
01:11:33.000 --> 01:11:38.120
personal number. Sometimes we're like oh my email I can't give that out because

1069
01:11:38.120 --> 01:11:44.200
it's your name and has your last name. Set up another like another email like I

1070
01:11:44.200 --> 01:11:49.960
have I have two emails currently like I have a Gmail and I have a Yahoo. So I

1071
01:11:49.960 --> 01:11:53.360
mean I know sometimes it's just that extra technicality and you have to

1072
01:11:53.360 --> 01:11:58.240
double-check it but it really is for your safety. You can set up even a

1073
01:11:58.240 --> 01:12:02.960
separate Zoom account I'm pretty sure. You can have two separate ones like you

1074
01:12:02.960 --> 01:12:06.880
can do a free version like there's the word like some people have it for their

1075
01:12:06.880 --> 01:12:11.200
business and it's a paid one like my husband owns a business he has this paid

1076
01:12:11.200 --> 01:12:18.480
version so that he can have Zoom calls that are longer than 40 minutes. So maybe

1077
01:12:18.480 --> 01:12:24.400
instead of using that get a free version and log into that so then if something

1078
01:12:24.400 --> 01:12:29.720
gets compromised you can like report it you can close that that free account and

1079
01:12:29.720 --> 01:12:33.960
then you can sign up with another account. So there might be some extra

1080
01:12:33.960 --> 01:12:39.520
steps that are kind of inconvenient but how inconvenient would you rather it be

1081
01:12:39.520 --> 01:12:45.120
inconvenient or would you rather it you know harm harm your safety and your

1082
01:12:45.120 --> 01:12:50.080
well-being. So it's just navigating that and here's the thing like we're in this

1083
01:12:50.080 --> 01:12:56.080
technology world and we're still learning how to do that and that's why

1084
01:12:56.080 --> 01:12:59.240
we share that stuff with the community and as it gets brought up like the team

1085
01:12:59.240 --> 01:13:07.040
we talk about ways that we can can navigate that. So yeah so Google Voice is

1086
01:13:07.040 --> 01:13:11.520
only available for America not Canadians I'm sure I mean ask around I'm

1087
01:13:11.520 --> 01:13:17.520
sure there's probably some other platform or something. I never used

1088
01:13:17.520 --> 01:13:23.480
Google Voice personally because I waited really to give anybody my phone number

1089
01:13:23.480 --> 01:13:29.960
and then when I did my mindset was well I can just block their phone number but

1090
01:13:29.960 --> 01:13:35.600
now that was you know years ago where now I can see like I wouldn't advise

1091
01:13:35.600 --> 01:13:43.080
doing that but finding other avenues of sorts. Again zoom calls I mean they're

1092
01:13:43.080 --> 01:13:47.800
free free zoom call 40 minutes and then you get face-to-face and then like you

1093
01:13:47.800 --> 01:13:52.400
know Mariska she she noticed there's something not right it's not it's not

1094
01:13:52.400 --> 01:13:58.600
adding up so that was an indicator for her like I don't know if I like this and

1095
01:13:58.600 --> 01:14:03.200
so she could use discernment and just go ahead and remove herself from that say

1096
01:14:03.200 --> 01:14:10.000
okay this is probably a scam I'm gonna move on and she knows she's got defended.

1097
01:14:10.000 --> 01:14:17.200
And you know he tricked me on you he wanted to talk on what's up instead of

1098
01:14:17.200 --> 01:14:24.160
text and he said oh let's share more pictures on what's up and I'm like

1099
01:14:24.160 --> 01:14:28.280
appropriate pictures he sent me beautiful pictures and such like regular

1100
01:14:28.280 --> 01:14:33.760
pictures and he's I said why why what's up why not just texting and I do have a

1101
01:14:33.760 --> 01:14:39.520
free phone that I use for the website I could use the different texting messages

1102
01:14:39.520 --> 01:14:44.720
but he said well better quality you can send a better quality pictures on what's

1103
01:14:44.720 --> 01:14:51.720
up versus text and I'm like okay I knew it. I will say my I don't like when

1104
01:14:51.720 --> 01:14:56.560
people use that what's app I have tended to find that people want to get you off

1105
01:14:56.560 --> 01:15:00.640
and then get you into what's app or something else.

1106
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:02.400
typically is a scam, all right?

1107
01:15:02.400 --> 01:15:04.960
So when they wanna remove you from that app,

1108
01:15:04.960 --> 01:15:08.000
because now you can't report them, right,

1109
01:15:08.000 --> 01:15:11.920
to that community, to that online database,

1110
01:15:11.920 --> 01:15:14.960
wherever, you know, if you're using Pinge or Bumble

1111
01:15:14.960 --> 01:15:18.200
or whatever, it can't be reported,

1112
01:15:18.200 --> 01:15:20.360
so they pull you off of there.

1113
01:15:20.360 --> 01:15:22.360
So those are typically indicators,

1114
01:15:22.360 --> 01:15:24.480
and that's where, again, you set boundaries,

1115
01:15:24.480 --> 01:15:26.520
like, I'm not comfortable with that,

1116
01:15:26.520 --> 01:15:28.240
can we do this instead?

1117
01:15:28.240 --> 01:15:31.160
And if they're not willing to respect

1118
01:15:31.160 --> 01:15:36.160
your concern and safety, that can be an indicator too.

1119
01:15:36.200 --> 01:15:39.400
Like, okay, you're not willing to help me

1120
01:15:39.400 --> 01:15:41.520
feel safe and comfortable,

1121
01:15:41.520 --> 01:15:43.520
then that's not a masculine, mature man.

1122
01:15:45.160 --> 01:15:48.160
Okay, ladies, I hope, I love that you brought this up,

1123
01:15:48.160 --> 01:15:51.280
I think it's always good to remind you ladies of that,

1124
01:15:51.280 --> 01:15:53.520
so just keep that in mind,

1125
01:15:53.520 --> 01:15:55.520
balance, like, again, we talked about boundaries,

1126
01:15:55.520 --> 01:15:56.720
it's so important.

1127
01:15:57.720 --> 01:16:00.160
All right, Alexis, what's your question?

1128
01:16:02.040 --> 01:16:06.400
Kylie made a question in the chat a while ago

1129
01:16:06.400 --> 01:16:10.880
about addictions and whether or not they're yellow or red,

1130
01:16:10.880 --> 01:16:12.880
and I'm not sure if you answered that.

1131
01:16:12.880 --> 01:16:13.960
I didn't see that,

1132
01:16:13.960 --> 01:16:16.320
so thank you for bringing that to my attention.

1133
01:16:16.320 --> 01:16:18.880
Okay, so yes, having addictions,

1134
01:16:21.160 --> 01:16:23.720
it can be a yellow flag for sure.

1135
01:16:23.720 --> 01:16:26.600
Now, where you see if it's gonna turn red

1136
01:16:27.480 --> 01:16:32.480
or green is, are they working on that addiction?

1137
01:16:35.560 --> 01:16:37.000
Do they have accountability?

1138
01:16:37.000 --> 01:16:41.600
Have they been clean, sober, free from that addiction

1139
01:16:41.600 --> 01:16:43.160
for at least a year?

1140
01:16:43.160 --> 01:16:48.160
Most recovery programs typically will tell those people

1141
01:16:54.000 --> 01:16:56.360
that they cannot get into relationship

1142
01:16:57.120 --> 01:16:57.960
for the first 12 months

1143
01:16:57.960 --> 01:17:00.880
while they are trying to break that addiction.

1144
01:17:00.880 --> 01:17:04.880
Okay, so if they're not doing those things,

1145
01:17:04.880 --> 01:17:07.560
that would typically be more of a red flag.

1146
01:17:07.560 --> 01:17:09.280
So if they're in that addiction,

1147
01:17:09.280 --> 01:17:11.960
they haven't gotten help, they haven't seeked help,

1148
01:17:11.960 --> 01:17:15.560
then yes, that would typically be a red flag, okay?

1149
01:17:15.560 --> 01:17:19.000
Sometimes people are not gonna let you know right away

1150
01:17:19.000 --> 01:17:20.560
that they're struggling with that.

1151
01:17:20.560 --> 01:17:24.360
So again, that's why pacing yourself through level two

1152
01:17:24.360 --> 01:17:27.200
and just getting to know them,

1153
01:17:27.200 --> 01:17:31.040
seeing those things will be helpful, okay?

1154
01:17:31.040 --> 01:17:36.040
So now, there are several godly men out there that I know

1155
01:17:37.840 --> 01:17:40.400
that have struggled with sex addictions

1156
01:17:40.400 --> 01:17:43.480
and they are married and have wonderful marriages

1157
01:17:43.480 --> 01:17:48.480
because they were working on themselves,

1158
01:17:48.480 --> 01:17:50.320
they have accountability,

1159
01:17:50.320 --> 01:17:53.040
they have, it was something that they struggled with

1160
01:17:53.040 --> 01:17:54.600
that they've overcome it,

1161
01:17:54.600 --> 01:17:57.880
they're in a program or they have someone

1162
01:17:57.880 --> 01:18:00.320
that they hold themselves accountable to

1163
01:18:00.320 --> 01:18:02.640
and it's just gauging on whether or not

1164
01:18:02.640 --> 01:18:07.640
are they working on it and do they have accountability?

1165
01:18:07.840 --> 01:18:09.560
And then here's another thing, ladies,

1166
01:18:09.560 --> 01:18:11.640
you are not gonna be their accountability.

1167
01:18:14.320 --> 01:18:17.720
It's not your job to hold them accountable

1168
01:18:18.640 --> 01:18:22.160
to keep away from those addictions, okay?

1169
01:18:22.160 --> 01:18:24.640
And I say this from experience

1170
01:18:24.640 --> 01:18:26.120
because I was in a relationship

1171
01:18:26.120 --> 01:18:29.240
with someone who was a drug addict and alcoholic

1172
01:18:29.240 --> 01:18:31.880
and I thought it was my job

1173
01:18:31.880 --> 01:18:33.640
to help them stay clean and sober.

1174
01:18:34.960 --> 01:18:39.160
And it's they have to want it, they have to do the work.

1175
01:18:40.160 --> 01:18:41.640
They have to be accountable to someone

1176
01:18:41.640 --> 01:18:46.040
that they don't have a like intimate connection with, okay?

1177
01:18:46.040 --> 01:18:48.000
It can't be their like best friend,

1178
01:18:48.000 --> 01:18:49.080
it can't be a family member,

1179
01:18:49.080 --> 01:18:54.080
it can't be their girlfriend, their fiance, their wife, okay?

1180
01:18:54.720 --> 01:18:56.960
They have to have, a lot of those programs

1181
01:18:56.960 --> 01:18:59.440
they have what's called sponsors.

1182
01:18:59.440 --> 01:19:02.000
Someone that will be hard on them

1183
01:19:02.000 --> 01:19:05.760
and there's no like, because here's the thing,

1184
01:19:05.760 --> 01:19:07.560
if they're coming to you

1185
01:19:07.560 --> 01:19:10.320
and asking you to hold them accountable

1186
01:19:10.320 --> 01:19:12.440
and they're doing something that they're not supposed to

1187
01:19:12.440 --> 01:19:14.360
and you start shedding light on it,

1188
01:19:14.360 --> 01:19:18.400
like, hey, like I looked at your computer

1189
01:19:18.440 --> 01:19:21.000
and I saw that you were looking at porn.

1190
01:19:21.000 --> 01:19:23.520
You told me that you weren't gonna do that.

1191
01:19:23.520 --> 01:19:25.840
What, they're gonna start getting defensive.

1192
01:19:26.920 --> 01:19:28.640
They're gonna start making you the victim

1193
01:19:28.640 --> 01:19:32.880
or you the accuser and it's just not healthy.

1194
01:19:32.880 --> 01:19:34.560
Or like in my instance,

1195
01:19:34.560 --> 01:19:39.560
like whenever my boyfriend at the time was,

1196
01:19:39.800 --> 01:19:41.720
I caught him using drugs,

1197
01:19:42.880 --> 01:19:45.360
like it became, I was not trustworthy,

1198
01:19:45.360 --> 01:19:46.880
I was in his business.

1199
01:19:46.920 --> 01:19:50.800
I had no, like, it just creates habit.

1200
01:19:50.800 --> 01:19:54.720
So they have to be ones that are working on it

1201
01:19:54.720 --> 01:19:59.720
and I typically say, and recovery programs will,

1202
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:07.200
say this as well, they need to have at least 12 months clean, sober from their addiction and I

1203
01:20:07.200 --> 01:20:14.720
would make sure that you're seeing that they have that accountability. Now you don't want to sit

1204
01:20:14.720 --> 01:20:20.800
there and just prejudge them like, you know, we all again, we all have past. Some people's past

1205
01:20:20.800 --> 01:20:27.200
may have that addiction there. It doesn't necessarily mean it's a red flag. But it's

1206
01:20:27.200 --> 01:20:33.360
definitely a yellow flag to keep in mind. So does that help? Does anybody have questions about that?

1207
01:20:33.360 --> 01:20:41.120
Because I know this is kind of a, it's a deep subject. I kind of have a question. Yes, Kylie.

1208
01:20:41.120 --> 01:20:45.600
I'm sorry. Give me one second. That's my train of thought.

1209
01:20:46.800 --> 01:20:51.840
Alexis, you were the one that like brought it up. Do you have any questions about that?

1210
01:20:52.320 --> 01:20:56.800
No, not really. You pretty much answered them. Thank you. Okay, good.

1211
01:20:56.800 --> 01:21:03.360
Sorry, I did remember it now. I was curious. Within boundaries of like physical boundaries,

1212
01:21:03.360 --> 01:21:11.280
because everyone's like, you just don't have sex. Is there any video or like content that

1213
01:21:11.280 --> 01:21:17.520
Jackie or like the group has put out on like, that type of thing? Not that I'm like trying to be like,

1214
01:21:17.520 --> 01:21:24.880
how far can I go? But I'm generally curious, because when you're dating men, their brains are wired like

1215
01:21:24.880 --> 01:21:32.560
differently than ours are. Well, and here's the thing, we all like, we all like, it's, it feels good.

1216
01:21:32.560 --> 01:21:39.360
Right? I mean, ladies, we're all we're all grown adults here. Right? Like, our bodies were created,

1217
01:21:39.360 --> 01:21:46.640
God created our bodies to enjoy that, right within marriage, but it doesn't mean like we obviously

1218
01:21:46.800 --> 01:21:54.000
I think we all can probably attest, like, you know, it happens, right? So that's why we really

1219
01:21:54.000 --> 01:22:00.080
encourage it. And we strongly suggest like, Jackie has done in her Instagram post, I'm wanting to say

1220
01:22:00.080 --> 01:22:07.440
it was like a little over a year ago, she talked about why sex before marriage doesn't work. Okay,

1221
01:22:07.440 --> 01:22:13.360
so she she breaks that down now. Like you're to your question of yes, don't have sex, and we

1222
01:22:14.320 --> 01:22:22.640
understand the why. But the where do you draw the line? So that's going to be when you're in level

1223
01:22:22.640 --> 01:22:28.720
three relationship, that topic is going to come up. All right, that that conversation is going to

1224
01:22:28.720 --> 01:22:33.760
come up because here's the thing, you your body's gonna want I mean, you're gonna especially when

1225
01:22:33.760 --> 01:22:38.160
you meet your spirit mate, before you get married, they're gonna be your spirit mate, your body's

1226
01:22:38.160 --> 01:22:42.720
gonna want in on the action. So it's about creating those boundaries. And it's about

1227
01:22:42.720 --> 01:22:51.520
communicating with your partner what that looks like. So everybody's going to have different

1228
01:22:51.520 --> 01:22:57.600
levels. Okay, so years ago, and that might be something that I can even bring up to the team,

1229
01:22:57.600 --> 01:23:05.520
that it may be something that we can do on a special session with Jackie. So for some people,

1230
01:23:05.920 --> 01:23:14.800
cuddling on the couch is their boundary. Because if they go past that,

1231
01:23:16.080 --> 01:23:23.120
they're going to find themselves in a situation where they're going to do the deed. Some people

1232
01:23:23.120 --> 01:23:29.840
cuddling on the couch is not going to arouse them enough to want to do that. But maybe like,

1233
01:23:30.080 --> 01:23:37.040
maybe like, a lot of like heavy kissing is going to then cross that line.

1234
01:23:38.720 --> 01:23:49.040
So you have to decide so between two people, whoever has the lowest, like level of

1235
01:23:50.080 --> 01:23:54.880
physical intimacy. So whether I mean, if you're with a partner, and he's like,

1236
01:23:55.840 --> 01:23:59.840
if I'm cuddling with you on the couch, I'm going to want to do more than guess what,

1237
01:23:59.840 --> 01:24:07.360
you're not cuddling on the couch. Where maybe for you, you can have like a makeout session,

1238
01:24:07.360 --> 01:24:11.680
and you can draw the line and be like, Nope, not doing that. Like it doesn't phase me.

1239
01:24:12.240 --> 01:24:17.360
But for someone else that they're heavily making out, like if your partner, like is making out

1240
01:24:17.360 --> 01:24:22.720
with you. And they're like, Nope, if I'm making out with you, I'm going all the way. And guess

1241
01:24:22.720 --> 01:24:28.880
what, you're not heavy making out. So you have to find between two people, what's the lowest level

1242
01:24:28.880 --> 01:24:40.160
of physical intimacy they can have without it going past that. Okay? Some like, you just and

1243
01:24:40.160 --> 01:24:46.880
those things, you're just going to constantly have to communicate where you're at. And that's,

1244
01:24:46.880 --> 01:24:53.680
again, why we really encourage like having, you know, putting yourself in relationship with

1245
01:24:53.680 --> 01:24:59.760
someone who's going to respect boundaries, and open that communication. Like, if you're in

1246
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:05.280
level two, like, we don't want you having those conversations

1247
01:25:05.280 --> 01:25:07.280
really in level two, once you get into level three, you're

1248
01:25:07.280 --> 01:25:11.120
gonna have those conversations. But hopefully by then, you've

1249
01:25:11.120 --> 01:25:15.000
given some other areas to them and communicated them other

1250
01:25:15.000 --> 01:25:17.840
boundaries that they've shown you that they've respected those

1251
01:25:17.840 --> 01:25:19.960
boundaries so that when you do step into level three

1252
01:25:19.960 --> 01:25:24.400
relationship, you know that you're safe there. So for

1253
01:25:24.400 --> 01:25:28.200
example, like my husband asked me first date, can I kiss you?

1254
01:25:28.200 --> 01:25:32.560
And I'm like, No, I didn't mean that I didn't want to, I knew

1255
01:25:32.560 --> 01:25:38.200
for me that if I was kissing someone, like I was going to

1256
01:25:38.200 --> 01:25:42.200
attach, and I didn't want to do that if they were dating other

1257
01:25:42.200 --> 01:25:45.560
people. And I didn't want to confuse if there was anybody

1258
01:25:45.560 --> 01:25:47.960
else that I was going to date in the next couple weeks or

1259
01:25:47.960 --> 01:25:52.080
whatever, that it was going to cloud my judgment. And he

1260
01:25:52.080 --> 01:25:55.920
respected that. And then even when we were exclusive, he

1261
01:25:55.920 --> 01:26:01.680
allowed me to decide when I was ready. And even then we had to

1262
01:26:01.680 --> 01:26:05.800
have those discussions of what that looked like, as we got

1263
01:26:05.800 --> 01:26:11.920
engaged in and you know, spent more time together. Keeping that

1264
01:26:11.920 --> 01:26:15.200
communication open and you know, understanding the importance

1265
01:26:15.200 --> 01:26:19.480
that that was it was important for both of us that we were not

1266
01:26:19.480 --> 01:26:23.880
going to cross boundaries. And so there were just times like, I

1267
01:26:23.880 --> 01:26:27.360
even know, I'm sure Bethany will be okay with me sharing

1268
01:26:27.360 --> 01:26:32.040
this. She's she even said, like, when her and Brian were, you

1269
01:26:32.040 --> 01:26:37.240
know, a couple months or so away of getting married, they had to

1270
01:26:37.240 --> 01:26:43.160
draw even stronger boundaries, because the desire was there

1271
01:26:43.200 --> 01:26:48.000
more, because they were so close to getting married. So she's

1272
01:26:48.000 --> 01:26:53.080
like, I can't even sit next to you on the couch. And so she had

1273
01:26:53.080 --> 01:26:57.000
to communicate that to him like, hey, I if I sit next to

1274
01:26:57.000 --> 01:27:00.040
you on the couch, I don't trust myself to not cross that

1275
01:27:00.040 --> 01:27:05.200
boundary. And Brian respected that and made sure that they

1276
01:27:05.200 --> 01:27:08.720
didn't sit right next to each other on the couch. So you're

1277
01:27:08.720 --> 01:27:11.560
going to always have to have that open communication once you

1278
01:27:11.560 --> 01:27:14.840
get into those, you know, level threes. But I will tell you

1279
01:27:14.840 --> 01:27:16.960
ladies until you are an exclusive level three

1280
01:27:16.960 --> 01:27:20.800
relationship, I will strongly encourage you not to have

1281
01:27:21.760 --> 01:27:25.800
physical connection, even kissing. And I know for some of

1282
01:27:25.800 --> 01:27:30.960
you are like, you're such a prude Carla. Because I know some

1283
01:27:30.960 --> 01:27:34.600
of you like kissing girls, I like kissing too. But I'm

1284
01:27:34.600 --> 01:27:39.080
telling you, it it will cloud the clarity and the judgment

1285
01:27:39.080 --> 01:27:44.560
there. Especially when you don't know the person and you're not

1286
01:27:44.560 --> 01:27:46.560
really sure if you're going to go into level three and then

1287
01:27:46.560 --> 01:27:51.280
going into an engagement. It's just gonna make it hard. Let's

1288
01:27:51.280 --> 01:27:56.240
speak from experience. All right. All right, Alexis, I

1289
01:27:56.240 --> 01:27:59.360
think we answered your question. And Kylie, we got yours. I'm

1290
01:27:59.360 --> 01:28:04.920
going to go to Victoria and then Joanne. And then ladies. Well,

1291
01:28:04.920 --> 01:28:09.880
it's about one 130 here central time, it's 230 Eastern. So I'm

1292
01:28:09.880 --> 01:28:12.360
going to allow Victoria and Joanne, if you have any other

1293
01:28:12.360 --> 01:28:15.840
questions, just make sure you post them in our community. And

1294
01:28:15.840 --> 01:28:18.400
we'll get to those as well. But I want to be respectful of your

1295
01:28:18.400 --> 01:28:22.840
time. If you have to go, don't don't feel like you have to stay

1296
01:28:22.840 --> 01:28:25.600
on. I know some of you are at the middle of the day. I know

1297
01:28:25.600 --> 01:28:32.240
that's a little hard. So, Victoria, how are you doing? I

1298
01:28:32.240 --> 01:28:37.080
saw that you went to band with your mom and that was good for

1299
01:28:37.080 --> 01:28:41.200
you. I'm so I'm so glad that you were able to do that. And get

1300
01:28:41.600 --> 01:28:46.560
some some rest. I know you've been the ringer. Yeah.

1301
01:28:48.280 --> 01:28:52.560
Mike, yes, it was good refreshment. My question kind of

1302
01:28:52.560 --> 01:28:58.040
relates to that. Like, a boundary for myself is like

1303
01:28:58.040 --> 01:29:04.840
where? How can I tell if I'm ready to go back in? Or should

1304
01:29:04.840 --> 01:29:07.800
I like what's what's kind of like a good indicator that I'm

1305
01:29:07.800 --> 01:29:12.080
ready to go back into the dating circle? Or do I need to

1306
01:29:12.080 --> 01:29:15.240
put a boundary on myself and say maybe wait a little longer?

1307
01:29:15.480 --> 01:29:17.560
Like, what's the thing? What was your advice be?

1308
01:29:18.080 --> 01:29:22.560
So I would say, just dip your toe in. All right, we're not

1309
01:29:22.560 --> 01:29:25.000
we're not going to sit here and respond out of fear. Because

1310
01:29:25.000 --> 01:29:28.240
that's what that sounds like to me. I'm kind of just discerning.

1311
01:29:28.480 --> 01:29:31.080
You're a little scared, right? Because I know you went through

1312
01:29:31.080 --> 01:29:39.160
some hurt, right? Yeah. So take it easy. Go in it. All right.

1313
01:29:39.440 --> 01:29:44.200
Don't rush the process. Okay. When you have those emotions

1314
01:29:44.200 --> 01:29:49.840
come up, feel them. All right. Work through that as certain

1315
01:29:49.840 --> 01:29:54.240
things come up partner with Holy Spirit. Ask him what he's

1316
01:29:54.240 --> 01:29:58.720
revealing to you. Okay. It's okay to pace yourself. You

1317
01:29:58.720 --> 01:30:00.080
don't have to go full fledge.

1318
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:03.720
want to sit here and say, Oh, go get onto three sites and start

1319
01:30:03.720 --> 01:30:06.760
like talking to a bunch of people. That's going to be a bit

1320
01:30:06.760 --> 01:30:12.520
overwhelming. Just start, start one at a time. Get to know them

1321
01:30:12.520 --> 01:30:15.920
again, approach it like you're just getting to know somebody

1322
01:30:15.920 --> 01:30:19.880
new. All right, we're not looking at romance. All right,

1323
01:30:19.880 --> 01:30:22.720
ladies, I will encourage y'all not to look at that, you know,

1324
01:30:22.720 --> 01:30:26.840
looking at romance. Like is this my husband, you know, just go

1325
01:30:26.840 --> 01:30:29.960
into it, say, Hey, I'm just meeting new people as you would.

1326
01:30:30.840 --> 01:30:35.080
If you were meeting a bunch of girlfriends, right? You join a

1327
01:30:35.080 --> 01:30:37.920
new new church, and there's a woman's group and you get in a

1328
01:30:37.920 --> 01:30:40.560
woman's group. And there's one or two ladies that kind of like,

1329
01:30:40.720 --> 01:30:43.920
are highlighted to you, you're going to want to go Hey, like, I

1330
01:30:43.920 --> 01:30:46.440
really enjoy getting to know I like what you shared it small

1331
01:30:46.440 --> 01:30:49.080
group, I would love to grab coffee with you some time to get

1332
01:30:49.080 --> 01:30:52.200
to know you better. That you see how there's like no pressure

1333
01:30:52.200 --> 01:30:55.320
there. It's just really stepping in and saying, Okay, I'm just

1334
01:30:55.320 --> 01:30:58.360
gonna get to know someone new, you're not going to dive into

1335
01:30:58.360 --> 01:31:01.600
your past, you're not going to divulge to them like what just

1336
01:31:01.600 --> 01:31:05.200
happened or what's happened in your past. It's just, you know,

1337
01:31:05.240 --> 01:31:09.640
easy, breezy, light, airy, and just, you know, dip your toe in.

1338
01:31:10.360 --> 01:31:13.840
All right. And then if things come up, you come to our

1339
01:31:13.840 --> 01:31:17.640
community, you talk through what that what that looks like. And

1340
01:31:17.640 --> 01:31:20.840
we're here to coach you. All right.

1341
01:31:21.520 --> 01:31:27.440
Mm hmm. I help you. Yeah, that does. And I know I'll just Yeah,

1342
01:31:27.440 --> 01:31:33.200
I just try one. Maybe that'd be one at a time. Yeah. Yep.

1343
01:31:33.680 --> 01:31:37.920
Absolutely. You're welcome. Joanne, I'm gonna take your

1344
01:31:37.920 --> 01:31:41.920
question. And ladies, I'm gonna bid you all farewell. What's

1345
01:31:41.920 --> 01:31:42.680
your question?

1346
01:31:43.680 --> 01:31:50.160
Hi. So yes, I'm this is my first live phase two. I think

1347
01:31:50.160 --> 01:31:56.080
this is actually my first live live. In phase one, I was always

1348
01:31:56.080 --> 01:32:03.120
catching it at my tail end of work. So yes. So I've been

1349
01:32:03.120 --> 01:32:07.080
reading the ask the coach and taking everyone the advice. And

1350
01:32:07.080 --> 01:32:12.160
so I as we've read, I've gone on the Facebook dating and the

1351
01:32:12.560 --> 01:32:15.320
higher bond, I feel like the thing higher bound right now is

1352
01:32:16.840 --> 01:32:21.960
but Facebook dating. So and like I was saying, I was like, it

1353
01:32:21.960 --> 01:32:24.600
started off like, Hi, how you doing? How was your day? Hi,

1354
01:32:24.600 --> 01:32:27.360
how was your day? How's your day? I'm like, how many times am

1355
01:32:27.360 --> 01:32:31.640
I going to keep saying, Oh, my day is great. You know, it's a

1356
01:32:31.640 --> 01:32:34.480
little I you know, I know someone responded about that.

1357
01:32:34.480 --> 01:32:38.800
But I didn't get to solve this. Like, so one person had

1358
01:32:38.800 --> 01:32:41.640
responded was like, if you feel comfortable, here's my phone

1359
01:32:41.640 --> 01:32:45.920
number. And I was like, I don't know, you know, even though I

1360
01:32:45.920 --> 01:32:48.120
have a Google phone number, so that wouldn't have been the

1361
01:32:48.120 --> 01:32:52.000
issue. But I just didn't know like where to go. So I so I read

1362
01:32:52.000 --> 01:32:54.920
in the ask the coach and I was just like, Hey, would you like a

1363
01:32:54.920 --> 01:32:59.400
video? And he was like, Sure. So we set up a video for later on

1364
01:32:59.400 --> 01:33:05.000
tonight. And then another person, I didn't even wait to go

1365
01:33:05.000 --> 01:33:07.200
the back and forth. And I was just like, Hey, how about a

1366
01:33:07.200 --> 01:33:11.040
video? And he was like, Sure. But today I was with my plumber

1367
01:33:11.040 --> 01:33:14.000
and my plumber was super talkative. So I missed that. And

1368
01:33:14.000 --> 01:33:17.520
I was like, Oh, I so apologize. But he was like, it's okay. I

1369
01:33:17.520 --> 01:33:20.800
understand. I'm like, thank you for being understanding. So

1370
01:33:20.800 --> 01:33:24.280
we're supposed to have another video. So my question, I say all

1371
01:33:24.280 --> 01:33:29.280
this to say is my question is, like, I have other, you know,

1372
01:33:29.360 --> 01:33:31.680
I've moved to a lot of a lot of people, like you said, dating

1373
01:33:31.680 --> 01:33:35.360
many people or not dating, but community phase two with a lot

1374
01:33:35.360 --> 01:33:40.880
of people. The back and forth is just a little special. I mean,

1375
01:33:40.880 --> 01:33:44.800
it's okay for like, we first move over. But now it's like,

1376
01:33:44.840 --> 01:33:49.000
so is it okay to be like, Hey, let's just move to the zoom? Or

1377
01:33:49.000 --> 01:33:52.800
is that too fast? Or just I think it's just depends on

1378
01:33:52.800 --> 01:33:56.160
everybody's preference. Like me personally, I like to have a

1379
01:33:56.160 --> 01:34:00.560
couple exchanges of like, lightly kind of getting to know

1380
01:34:00.560 --> 01:34:03.760
them asking a fun question. So I know it's like, Hey, how's your

1381
01:34:03.760 --> 01:34:08.480
day going? It gets kind of man. So what I learned when I was,

1382
01:34:08.640 --> 01:34:14.240
you know, dating online, is having a couple questions in my

1383
01:34:14.240 --> 01:34:18.200
toolbox of like, what did I find interesting to know about a

1384
01:34:18.200 --> 01:34:21.880
person. And a lot of times it had to do with like my interests

1385
01:34:21.920 --> 01:34:25.320
or what I saw someone else's interests were and that I wanted

1386
01:34:25.320 --> 01:34:30.920
to know more about. So it's having, you know, coming to the

1387
01:34:30.960 --> 01:34:35.400
you know, initial communication with having some get to know you

1388
01:34:35.400 --> 01:34:38.120
questions like those icebreakers. I mean, if you're,

1389
01:34:38.240 --> 01:34:40.880
you know, and I think if you've ever been in any sort of like

1390
01:34:40.880 --> 01:34:46.680
group setting, like corporate or like, convention type setting or

1391
01:34:46.680 --> 01:34:49.040
small group setting, there's always those icebreaker

1392
01:34:49.040 --> 01:34:52.520
questions. And I don't know about y'all, like, early on, I

1393
01:34:52.520 --> 01:34:55.240
used to freak out was like, Oh, my gosh, I'm putting on the spot.

1394
01:34:55.240 --> 01:34:57.760
Like, what am I going to say? Now I've learned is just kind of

1395
01:34:57.760 --> 01:35:00.040
like, okay, they're always fun, light hearted.

1396
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:04.160
and that kind of stuff. So I would go in prepared with some

1397
01:35:04.160 --> 01:35:07.680
of those questions. So they're like, Hey, how are you? I'm

1398
01:35:07.680 --> 01:35:13.480
great. I had a wonderful day at work. Um, you know, maybe you're

1399
01:35:14.000 --> 01:35:17.280
my go to is always travel because it's an interest of

1400
01:35:17.280 --> 01:35:21.720
mine. So and it was something that I would hope that my spirit

1401
01:35:21.720 --> 01:35:26.360
mate would also have a desire or an interest and enjoy traveling

1402
01:35:26.360 --> 01:35:30.440
as well. Okay, so my go to questions a lot of time had to

1403
01:35:30.440 --> 01:35:35.280
do with travel, vacation, things of that nature. So I might go

1404
01:35:35.280 --> 01:35:39.240
into an oftentimes when I was single, even with my youngest

1405
01:35:39.240 --> 01:35:43.720
son, I always had trips planned, whether they were small, like a

1406
01:35:43.720 --> 01:35:47.160
couple hours away, or maybe it was, you know, out of state. So

1407
01:35:47.160 --> 01:35:51.040
I'd be like, I'm doing great. I'm looking forward to, you

1408
01:35:51.040 --> 01:35:55.480
know, getting ready to go out of town in a couple months. Um, do

1409
01:35:55.480 --> 01:36:00.600
you enjoy traveling? And then they respond? Oh, yeah, I enjoy

1410
01:36:00.600 --> 01:36:06.120
traveling. Now. I would hope that a guy would say, Oh, you

1411
01:36:06.120 --> 01:36:10.360
know, where are you going? Like, is it for work pleasure? Not

1412
01:36:10.360 --> 01:36:15.480
every man's gonna take the bait and like, ask a question. But

1413
01:36:15.480 --> 01:36:19.640
sometimes you might have to, you know, put the questions out

1414
01:36:19.640 --> 01:36:22.800
there because some people are just not good at like the

1415
01:36:22.800 --> 01:36:25.440
texting, you know, communication and asking and

1416
01:36:25.720 --> 01:36:30.800
answering questions. But you can practice that. And then so

1417
01:36:30.800 --> 01:36:34.040
going in with that kind of question or looking at their

1418
01:36:34.040 --> 01:36:37.760
profile and seeing something that they post and asking more

1419
01:36:37.760 --> 01:36:43.600
about it being curious about it. Like, hey, I, I saw you put that

1420
01:36:43.600 --> 01:36:48.200
you you like to do Frisbee golf in your spare time. I've never

1421
01:36:48.200 --> 01:36:53.720
heard of that. Like, I think I remember, you know, in college,

1422
01:36:53.720 --> 01:36:56.680
some of my guy friends would go do it, but I never knew what

1423
01:36:56.680 --> 01:37:01.320
that was. Tell me more about that. Did you see how it's like

1424
01:37:01.320 --> 01:37:04.360
you're you're you're pulling them into that conversation. So

1425
01:37:04.360 --> 01:37:08.040
it's not that like, Hey, how are you? Oh, great. I had to work.

1426
01:37:08.080 --> 01:37:10.520
Oh, what are you? What are you doing this weekend? Oh, nothing

1427
01:37:10.520 --> 01:37:13.520
just watching Netflix. Like you see how sometimes it can get

1428
01:37:13.520 --> 01:37:17.400
kind of boring. Be open to having some of those

1429
01:37:17.400 --> 01:37:20.160
conversations. And once you've had a couple of those back and

1430
01:37:20.160 --> 01:37:25.440
forth, you know, I would really like to jump on a zoom call. So

1431
01:37:25.440 --> 01:37:30.680
we can, you know, see each other face to face. And just learn a

1432
01:37:30.680 --> 01:37:32.640
little bit more about each other. Would that be cool with

1433
01:37:32.640 --> 01:37:38.440
you? Are you free? Such and such day, either of these times, and

1434
01:37:38.440 --> 01:37:40.920
then give them options and see it sounds like you're doing

1435
01:37:40.920 --> 01:37:44.240
great with throwing it out there. And I think that's great.

1436
01:37:44.240 --> 01:37:48.760
If you're comfortable jumping in, go for it. But again, I will

1437
01:37:48.760 --> 01:37:56.840
say to kind of limit the those awkward pauses and like, we're

1438
01:37:57.000 --> 01:38:01.400
if someone's not a great like talker, come ready with

1439
01:38:01.400 --> 01:38:04.480
questions. And then as well, if you've had a little bit of

1440
01:38:04.480 --> 01:38:08.920
exchanges, you might be able to pull some dialogue from what

1441
01:38:08.920 --> 01:38:13.360
you've exchanged and like learning more about what they do

1442
01:38:13.360 --> 01:38:16.000
and what they like. Okay.

1443
01:38:17.040 --> 01:38:19.440
Yeah, I think I'm gonna have to go back and look at well on

1444
01:38:19.440 --> 01:38:22.280
Facebook, there's not really much on there a little profile

1445
01:38:22.280 --> 01:38:26.280
in the dating thing. So I'll try to pull something so for the

1446
01:38:26.280 --> 01:38:29.600
conversation photos, I mean, look at their photos, like if

1447
01:38:29.600 --> 01:38:32.680
they have photos of like a big giant mountain in the back, be

1448
01:38:32.680 --> 01:38:37.400
like, hey, like, so is that a trip that you went on? Like, do

1449
01:38:37.400 --> 01:38:41.080
you enjoy hiking? Like, you know, what kinds of things do

1450
01:38:41.080 --> 01:38:43.440
you like to do outdoors? I mean, if you're an outdoorsy

1451
01:38:43.440 --> 01:38:47.200
person, and you would like someone to be outdoorsy with

1452
01:38:47.200 --> 01:38:51.520
you? I mean, be like, hey, so I love being in the outdoors. Is

1453
01:38:51.520 --> 01:38:53.640
that something that you're interested in? If so, what kinds

1454
01:38:53.640 --> 01:38:57.320
of things do you do in outdoors? I mean, again, you're gonna

1455
01:38:57.320 --> 01:39:01.280
start learning a little bit more about a person and that that

1456
01:39:01.280 --> 01:39:04.840
helps. That helps the flow of conversation. And here's the

1457
01:39:04.840 --> 01:39:09.320
thing, ladies, people like to talk about themselves. They

1458
01:39:09.320 --> 01:39:13.760
like, like, I'm one of those people. I like to talk about

1459
01:39:13.760 --> 01:39:17.800
myself. I like to see how I relate to somebody. And and

1460
01:39:17.800 --> 01:39:22.120
that's how I form relationship with people is I find things

1461
01:39:22.120 --> 01:39:27.040
that we have in common. So be ready with some questions. And

1462
01:39:27.040 --> 01:39:29.600
then when you have those questions, be ready to answer

1463
01:39:29.600 --> 01:39:34.960
your own question. That sometimes happens to like, hey,

1464
01:39:34.960 --> 01:39:37.840
like, what's your favorite vacation you've ever been on?

1465
01:39:38.840 --> 01:39:41.520
And then they'll tell you and then they're like, how about

1466
01:39:41.520 --> 01:39:45.960
you? And then you're like, Oh, I don't I don't know. Like,

1467
01:39:48.120 --> 01:39:50.760
the question. I don't know if any of you ladies got to see the

1468
01:39:50.760 --> 01:39:54.120
spirit mate match event that we had. We put it in replay. We

1469
01:39:54.120 --> 01:39:58.560
invited you ladies in phase two. And I loved what Jackie did is

1470
01:39:58.560 --> 01:39:59.640
that she asked

1471
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:06.520
She was helping one of the guys with questions,

1472
01:40:06.520 --> 01:40:09.360
or the one guy with question and she was like,

1473
01:40:09.360 --> 01:40:13.520
okay, answer this question

1474
01:40:13.520 --> 01:40:16.960
and then pick one of the ladies to answer that same question.

1475
01:40:17.040 --> 01:40:21.860
He had to answer the question and share a little bit about himself,

1476
01:40:21.860 --> 01:40:24.200
and then they were.

1477
01:40:24.200 --> 01:40:26.080
Again, if we're going back to the travel,

1478
01:40:26.080 --> 01:40:27.400
I think there was a question like,

1479
01:40:27.400 --> 01:40:31.640
what's your ideal place for travel, mountains or beach?

1480
01:40:31.640 --> 01:40:33.120
He's like, I love the beach.

1481
01:40:33.120 --> 01:40:35.800
I'd love to go to Hawaii or something like that.

1482
01:40:35.800 --> 01:40:37.480
How about you?

1483
01:40:37.480 --> 01:40:39.320
Then one of the ladies was like,

1484
01:40:39.320 --> 01:40:42.600
oh, I really like the mountains because I like to go hiking.

1485
01:40:42.600 --> 01:40:46.920
You see how he answered and then opened it up.

1486
01:40:46.920 --> 01:40:51.640
Now, I sometimes like to ask them first because I don't want to think that

1487
01:40:51.640 --> 01:40:58.000
they're responding to my question because of how I responded.

1488
01:40:58.000 --> 01:41:01.760
I'll put it on them and then if they don't ask me a question

1489
01:41:01.760 --> 01:41:05.920
after because some guys just don't ask questions,

1490
01:41:05.920 --> 01:41:09.520
then I'll say, oh, that's really interesting.

1491
01:41:09.520 --> 01:41:14.640
I can maybe make a comment about what they answered and then be like,

1492
01:41:14.640 --> 01:41:18.640
my favorite ideal vacation,

1493
01:41:18.640 --> 01:41:21.680
the most fun I've ever went on was when I went on a cruise.

1494
01:41:21.680 --> 01:41:25.560
I just loved how there was so many activities to choose from.

1495
01:41:25.560 --> 01:41:28.120
I could eat whenever I wanted.

1496
01:41:28.120 --> 01:41:34.320
I enjoyed being able to have a fine dining experience and that just made it fun

1497
01:41:34.320 --> 01:41:38.720
because I didn't have to do any of the planning because typically I'm a planner.

1498
01:41:38.720 --> 01:41:43.840
I enjoy going on vacation when I don't have to make the plans.

1499
01:41:44.000 --> 01:41:46.480
Do you see how I already hit,

1500
01:41:46.480 --> 01:41:48.560
they learned a little bit about me.

1501
01:41:48.560 --> 01:41:49.880
I answered my question,

1502
01:41:49.880 --> 01:41:53.920
but then I got to tell them how I'm a planner,

1503
01:41:53.920 --> 01:41:58.160
but I don't always like to be the one planning.

1504
01:41:58.400 --> 01:42:02.880
You see how you can throw in some of parts of

1505
01:42:02.880 --> 01:42:06.960
your personality based on your own answers to questions.

1506
01:42:06.960 --> 01:42:09.840
Then hopefully they can, oh, yeah,

1507
01:42:09.840 --> 01:42:11.600
I'm not a planner.

1508
01:42:11.600 --> 01:42:13.160
I don't like planning things.

1509
01:42:13.160 --> 01:42:15.080
I like just having people,

1510
01:42:15.080 --> 01:42:16.720
I'm go with the flow.

1511
01:42:16.720 --> 01:42:19.680
I like to be spontaneous.

1512
01:42:19.680 --> 01:42:22.600
Now you see how you learned a little bit about them.

1513
01:42:22.600 --> 01:42:25.480
It's just that flow of communication.

1514
01:42:25.480 --> 01:42:30.240
Sometimes with men, it takes a little pulling out of them.

1515
01:42:30.240 --> 01:42:33.240
Luckily, my husband was not like that,

1516
01:42:33.240 --> 01:42:37.840
but I'm definitely more of the talker in our relationship.

1517
01:42:37.840 --> 01:42:45.000
But he will entertain me with conversation as well.

1518
01:42:45.000 --> 01:42:49.080
Well, ladies, I hope that helps.

1519
01:42:49.080 --> 01:42:50.720
I hope you-all had fun.

1520
01:42:50.720 --> 01:42:52.320
I always love these calls.

1521
01:42:52.320 --> 01:42:55.400
One of these days, I feel like the last couple of weeks,

1522
01:42:55.400 --> 01:42:59.720
I have lacked on getting us to breakout rooms.

1523
01:42:59.720 --> 01:43:01.880
My goal for next week,

1524
01:43:01.880 --> 01:43:03.240
the activation I'm going to do for

1525
01:43:03.240 --> 01:43:06.440
myself is make sure that we get to those.

1526
01:43:06.440 --> 01:43:09.160
But what I want to activate you ladies,

1527
01:43:09.160 --> 01:43:11.000
I know I've got 1, 2, 3, 4,

1528
01:43:11.000 --> 01:43:12.560
5 of you on,

1529
01:43:12.560 --> 01:43:14.160
and anybody watching in a replay,

1530
01:43:14.160 --> 01:43:15.880
you've made it this far.

1531
01:43:15.880 --> 01:43:18.240
Your activation for the week is

1532
01:43:18.240 --> 01:43:21.200
to let us know a little bit about you.

1533
01:43:21.200 --> 01:43:25.480
Under the wins tab on our community page,

1534
01:43:25.480 --> 01:43:28.280
I want you to go post a photo of you

1535
01:43:28.280 --> 01:43:32.240
doing an activity that you enjoy the most.

1536
01:43:32.960 --> 01:43:36.400
Let's start getting to know each other.

1537
01:43:37.320 --> 01:43:43.400
I want to see all the fun things that you do.

1538
01:43:43.400 --> 01:43:45.600
What makes you you?

1539
01:43:45.600 --> 01:43:47.240
What takes up your time?

1540
01:43:47.240 --> 01:43:50.040
What do you like to do the most?

1541
01:43:50.040 --> 01:43:52.160
I know Shawnee is awesome about

1542
01:43:52.160 --> 01:43:54.840
posting photos and doing these activations.

1543
01:43:54.840 --> 01:43:57.880
If you need some inspiration,

1544
01:43:57.880 --> 01:44:00.440
definitely check out some of her posts.

1545
01:44:00.440 --> 01:44:01.600
She's got lots of fun things.

1546
01:44:01.600 --> 01:44:04.040
She showed us a cute outfit that she had.

1547
01:44:04.080 --> 01:44:06.600
She looked hot, y'all.

1548
01:44:06.600 --> 01:44:10.800
Take some encouragement and some inspiration from her,

1549
01:44:10.800 --> 01:44:15.360
and let me see all the awesome things that make you you,

1550
01:44:15.360 --> 01:44:17.320
what you love, what you enjoy.

1551
01:44:17.320 --> 01:44:20.520
Maybe it's a picture of you with your family,

1552
01:44:20.520 --> 01:44:22.640
with your kids, with your grandkids,

1553
01:44:22.640 --> 01:44:24.040
whatever that is.

1554
01:44:24.040 --> 01:44:29.040
Mine will probably be a photo of watching

1555
01:44:29.080 --> 01:44:30.480
baseball.

1556
01:44:30.480 --> 01:44:33.760
My youngest is in travel ball,

1557
01:44:33.760 --> 01:44:36.720
and I thought we were done,

1558
01:44:36.720 --> 01:44:43.720
and then he got asked to play up in a tournament this weekend.

1559
01:44:43.720 --> 01:44:46.920
I'm back at the baseball fields this weekend,

1560
01:44:46.920 --> 01:44:48.240
and I actually love it.

1561
01:44:48.240 --> 01:44:49.440
It's fun for me,

1562
01:44:49.440 --> 01:44:52.080
and we enjoy going as a family.

1563
01:44:52.080 --> 01:44:53.880
That's exactly what I'm going to do.

1564
01:44:53.880 --> 01:44:55.920
I'm going to post a photo of me

1565
01:44:55.920 --> 01:44:58.280
We enjoy going as a family.

1566
01:44:58.280 --> 01:45:00.280
That's exactly what I'm going to do with us this week.

1567
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:02.320
I'm going to probably take my other kids with me.

1568
01:45:02.320 --> 01:45:04.640
They enjoy watching as well,

1569
01:45:04.640 --> 01:45:07.080
and they like the families and stuff like that.

1570
01:45:07.080 --> 01:45:11.960
I will probably post a photo of watching some young nine,

1571
01:45:11.960 --> 01:45:14.100
well, my son is nine,

1572
01:45:14.100 --> 01:45:16.920
but he's playing up with 10U team.

1573
01:45:16.920 --> 01:45:20.160
It will be with some 10-year-olds playing baseball.

1574
01:45:20.160 --> 01:45:23.360
All right, ladies.

1575
01:45:23.360 --> 01:45:25.120
I'm going to just quickly pray this out,

1576
01:45:25.120 --> 01:45:26.280
and then I'm going to send you on your way.

1577
01:45:26.280 --> 01:45:29.520
Don't forget about the eight o'clock special session

1578
01:45:29.520 --> 01:45:30.400
with Jackie tonight.

1579
01:45:30.400 --> 01:45:32.400
She's going to tell you how to navigate

1580
01:45:32.400 --> 01:45:34.840
level two relationship, all right?

1581
01:45:34.840 --> 01:45:37.080
So it's going to be good, all right?

1582
01:45:37.080 --> 01:45:39.520
You're going to get some real good information there

1583
01:45:39.520 --> 01:45:41.520
that's going to help you here in this phase.

1584
01:45:41.520 --> 01:45:43.720
So Heavenly Father, I just thank you

1585
01:45:43.720 --> 01:45:46.360
for each and every one of these women.

1586
01:45:46.360 --> 01:45:50.080
Lord, I just ask that you bless them this week.

1587
01:45:50.080 --> 01:45:52.240
Lord, help them come out of their shells.

1588
01:45:52.240 --> 01:45:54.000
Help them come out of hiding.

1589
01:45:54.000 --> 01:45:57.560
Let them know and be secure

1590
01:45:57.560 --> 01:46:00.680
in your protection over them, God.

1591
01:46:00.680 --> 01:46:04.280
I thank you for the love story you already have written

1592
01:46:04.280 --> 01:46:05.680
for each and every one of them,

1593
01:46:05.680 --> 01:46:08.680
and how it is going to bless the kingdom.

1594
01:46:08.680 --> 01:46:11.220
They're going to impact your kingdom

1595
01:46:11.220 --> 01:46:14.920
because their marriages are going to make a difference.

1596
01:46:14.920 --> 01:46:17.240
And it's going to just pass all generations,

1597
01:46:17.240 --> 01:46:19.200
go through all generations.

1598
01:46:19.200 --> 01:46:24.200
And Lord, I thank you for the reconciliation

1599
01:46:24.560 --> 01:46:27.920
and the redemption of breaking generational curses, Lord.

1600
01:46:27.920 --> 01:46:29.400
I thank you for that.

1601
01:46:29.400 --> 01:46:31.800
And Lord, I just, again, I just pray over each one

1602
01:46:31.800 --> 01:46:34.000
of these women and their spirit mates as well,

1603
01:46:34.000 --> 01:46:36.640
and help them prepare their hearts,

1604
01:46:36.640 --> 01:46:40.040
and help their spirit mates prepare their hearts as well.

1605
01:46:40.040 --> 01:46:42.940
And just, again, remind them that you love them,

1606
01:46:42.940 --> 01:46:47.940
you care for them, and you only give good, perfect gifts.

1607
01:46:48.320 --> 01:46:52.520
And their husbands are going to be a gift to them,

1608
01:46:52.560 --> 01:46:54.720
and they are going to be a gift to their husbands.

1609
01:46:54.720 --> 01:46:58.040
So thank you, Father, in your son's mighty name,

1610
01:46:58.040 --> 01:47:01.080
we pray, amen.

1611
01:47:01.080 --> 01:47:04.040
All right, ladies, have a blessed rest of your day,

1612
01:47:04.040 --> 01:47:07.640
and I hope to see you all on tonight, okay?

1613
01:47:07.640 --> 01:47:08.720
Take care.

1614
01:47:10.080 --> 01:47:10.920
Bye.