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All right, we're recording.

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All right, everyone, welcome to November Simba's class, S-Y-M-B-I-S, it's an acronym for Save

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Your Marriage Before It Starts.

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So everyone in this group is not necessarily even engaged yet, but all of you are in a

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pre-marital type of relationship, meaning that you like each other enough that you're

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thinking that somewhere down the line, and for some of you that might be before you even

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get out of this class, you might be getting engaged and going forward into an engagement

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towards a marriage, okay?

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And so this is a really great class for anyone who is in a serious dating relationship, regardless

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of whether you've known each other for three months or three years, but you want to take

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it to the next level, and you want to really see whether or not you're compatible to take

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it to the next level.

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I promise you one thing, you're going to see a lot about each other that maybe you don't

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know during the six weeks with me, and that is the point.

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It is the point.

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Some people start to kind of fuss a little bit with each other as they head into Simbas,

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and I feel like it's because they're starting to put pressure on themselves in the relationship,

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knowing that, hey, this is about to get real, it's about to get serious, and then maybe

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triggering each other a little bit, pulling each other's triggers, and that might happen

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also throughout the six weeks.

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Does that mean you're not compatible?

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No, it doesn't.

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Does that mean you shouldn't be together?

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No, it doesn't mean that either.

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It just means that we're all humans, and we all have some baggage that isn't always seen.

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We don't always know that it's there until something lights that fuse and that bomb goes

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off.

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So my job is to help you see the unseen about yourself, about each other, in order to see

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whether or not those are going to be deal breakers or whether those are things that

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you can work through towards building a lifelong partnership.

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Guys, marriage is hard.

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It is.

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I wanted to start out by saying that marriage is hard, and for those of you that have been

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married before, you know that, don't you?

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You know that it's not easy, but it is worth it.

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Marriage is the relationship that is going to stretch you more than any other relationship

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on earth.

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I have a private client, and I was talking to him today, and he said, I really want to

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marry someone.

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He's in that baby-making generation, the millennials, and a lot of the women that are his age are

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itching for a baby.

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So they're in their late 30s, early 40s, their little clocks are ticking, like a little ticking

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time bomb, and so he's meeting a lot of women that, you know, they want to sort of skip

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the courtship and get right to the baby-making, I mean, get married and get right to the baby-making

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because they're worried that they're going to run out of time, and he said, yeah, I really

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would just like to meet a girl who, you know, likes me more than she likes the idea of having

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a baby because, he said, when I marry someone, I want them to love me 51% and the kids 49%.

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He said, and I understand that maybe during the first 18 years, they love the kids 51%

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and me 49%, and I thought it was really funny because a lot of people have a lot of different

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agendas of why they want to get married, especially in different eras of their lives, okay?

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And so we're going to unpack all that stuff.

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We're going to talk about it.

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You guys, there isn't anything we're not going to talk about during this class, everything.

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All of the main reasons why people, you know, end up not being able to partner, end up cutting

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off partnerships, divorcing, all those reasons, all those top 10 reasons why are in this SIMBAS

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assessment.

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Okay, so in-laws and out-laws, all the other people outside of the relationship that might

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be influencing you, that's one of the reasons that a lot of people will cut off partnership.

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Money issues, trust issues, we're going to talk about sex.

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We have a whole module on sex, and so if you feel embarrassed to talk about sex, you might

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want to be absent that day because I'm not embarrassed to talk about sex and we got to

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talk about sex.

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All right, it's important, but it's not all that's important.

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We're going to talk about communication.

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That's one of the top three reasons why people don't end up being able to go deeper in relationship

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and further in relationship, and so we're going to cover all of it.

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Now, a little bit about me.

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If you don't know me, because some of you are not my students, some of you have come

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in through a student, so your partner is a student of mine or a client of mine, but you

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haven't been.

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My name is Jackie Dorman.

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I am the founder of something called Last Year Single.

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To date, I have helped over 800 couples get married, so that's 1,600 people, and we have

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so many other people in what I call.

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our marriage funnel, meaning that they're headed towards

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marriage, but they're not quite there yet. And we, we, we help

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them in every way that we can as far as preparing them, because

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I believe that when you're getting married, an ounce of

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prevention is worth a pound of cure. And so we get engagement

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announcements every week in my communities. And in my programs,

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I'm also a matchmaker. So I directly help people get married

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by introducing them to their spouses. And we do so many fun,

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amazing things. But I really want to help you to have an

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amazing relationship and amazing marriage. I believe in the

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revival of marriage and family, I want you to believe that this

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is the best relationship of your life, the most important

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relationship of your life, and that you grow and partner

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together to do amazing things world changers, that further the

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kingdom of God. This is a Bible or biblical based premarital

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coaching class, there is a whole module on spirituality. And you

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don't have to be fully on the same page spiritually, meaning

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having come from the same place, having been taught the exact

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same things, but what's going to be necessary in order for you to

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go forward together is that you have the same desire or hunger

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for where you want to take your spirituality in the future.

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We're gonna, we're gonna unpack all of that. So that includes

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all denominations includes all backgrounds, it includes

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everybody or anybody who really wants to just continue to grow

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in their relationship with God. Right. And so we'll talk about

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having different backgrounds and what that looks like to come

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together and go forward together spiritually as well. So

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spirituality, communication, the the outside relationships, the

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money, okay, the gender roles, your origin, family stuff that

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could be influencing the way that you think about each other

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about marriage about God, about family in general, all of that

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we're gonna talk about sex, we're gonna talk about intimacy

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and partnership, anything and everything you can think of, we

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will cover in this six weeks. So what I'm going to do tonight

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during orientation is I'm just going to give you an overview of

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that assessment that you took. Okay, just quickly go through

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the pages, give you an overview of it, show you where the

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homework sections are. And then I'm going to assign a homework

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section, a session section at the end of the session, say that

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really fast, I'm going to assign a homework section at the end of

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this session, that you will have ready for next Monday.

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Everything's always available in replay, if you have to miss a

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Monday, go ahead and watch the replay, watch it together. As if

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you would be live, okay, and make sure that you are, you

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like, you know, we'll have some activations during these

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sessions, make sure you're doing that as you're watching the

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replay, make sure you do the homework, don't mail this in.

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Maybe one of you wanted to do this more than the other person,

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maybe one of you doesn't really think it's that necessary. It's

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like, we really know each other, that's okay, I promise

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you're going to find out things about each other that you didn't

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know. And I also promise that you're going to either at the

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end of this feel really empowered to partner and go

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forward together, or you might actually break up. Okay. And we

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do have couples that break up during Symbus. I'm obviously not

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speaking that or wishing that over anybody. But if you're not

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a good match for longevity, then it's important that you know

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that now. That's why it's called saving marriage before it

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starts. Okay. And so if you're not a good match for long term

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relationship, you don't want the same things, you find out some

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things during this time together, that are deal breakers.

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Right, not just triggering your fear, but an actual deal breaker.

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And we'll talk about those things and what that means.

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Because I believe you should have a very short list of deal

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breakers, it shouldn't be super long, because that's based on

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fear, a very small, small list of deal breakers, to where you

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can't go further in partnership. And those need to be from

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heaven. Those those deal breakers need to be heaven deal

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breakers, things that you believe God has put in your

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heart that you absolutely have to have, or you absolutely

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cannot have in relationship. And then anything else can be worked

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out. If you want it to be anything else can be overcome.

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Your marriage relationship will be an entire lifetime of

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overcoming obstacles inside of yourself and outside of yourself

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inside of the relationship and outside of the relationship.

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Cool, capisce, everyone get it. Alright, so I am here to fight

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for your relationship if it's the right one for you. But if

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you do end up deciding that this is not the right partner for

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you, and you guys do decide to go your separate ways, then we

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will absolutely support you and help you in that as well. But if

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we think that you're doing it out of fear, if we get to know

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you in here, and we think you're doing it out of fear, you're

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having a knee jerk reaction, you're having a level 10

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reaction to a level two situation, we will probably

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privately call you out on that to make sure you're making the

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right decision. Okay. Cool. Good. All right. My husband,

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David will be joining me for the last two sessions. The last

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session is a no holds barred grab bag q&a. And we might

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actually have our other symbols coaches that teach sometimes as

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well.

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Jump on that. So you can get a different perspective from people who've been married less amount of time than us

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We are celebrating 17 years this month actually on the 17th. So I will be with you during our anniversary time and

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The other couple that teaches Simba's for us. They are a success story of ours in this community

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They are certified Simba's teachers and they've been married for two years

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Okay, and so they're going to have some more newlywed type of things to answer especially for those of you that

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Grew up in the church. Maybe you're a virgin right now gonna be getting married, you know, or thinking about getting married

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What does that look like to navigate all that stuff? They would be good people to ask those questions, too

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All right, so let's pray father God. I thank you for these couples

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I thank you Lord that you have brought them all here to this divine

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Intersection with each other with me so that we can go forward together

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Let's see the clear path God and we're asking that you speak to us and through us. We're asking that everyone without

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Exception learn something about themself about each other and about you during this course and those that see clear to partner Lord that they

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Have the confidence to move forward in Jesus name. Amen. All right

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Okay, so I'm going to if you can all see my screen, which I've been assured that you can I'm going to go through

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Very quickly the Simba's assessment and then after we do that

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We're gonna have a time where you are gonna introduce yourselves

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Okay, I'm gonna do this first get this out of the way so that we can have a little time of sharing

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Introducing yourselves how you met how long you've been together. What is the status of your relationship right now?

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Are you dating? Are you engaged if you're engaged?

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When's the wedding date kind of thing and I also want you to post that write this down in the Facebook group

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So you're gonna briefly

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Introduce yourselves tonight

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But I want you to actually make a post and if you're long-distance and you can't be together for that post just post a

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picture of yourselves together

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Right and and then under of course with that picture, you know post the same information

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Hey, you know, this is Jason and Allison. We've been dating for this amount of time. We're engaged

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We're not engaged. Whatever. This is how we met

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And and this is what we're hoping to get from this course. Cool

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All right. Okay. So you guys this is a sample report these people are not real I haven't just

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Chosen some random person's report and I'm going to show you all of their personal information

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Tony and Chris are

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Fake they're fake people

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all right, and

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we're gonna go ahead and just go through this Simba's report and then I'm gonna take all of your questions and we're gonna have a

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Little time of getting to know each other

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So this very first page here is just you're about us page

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This is going to be a bio page of the both of you

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So your age your background your religious affiliation your education status your employment status

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All of the things of your family origin your parents. Are they married? How were you raised? Who were you raised by your birth family?

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Your birth order in the family. They have found more and more that birth order does play a part in personality mixes

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And we're gonna do some fun personality things during this time of Simba's

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We'll be doing some fun personality stuff some attachment style stuff

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All of that's going to be very important. Some of you have very opposite attachment styles and that's going to poke each other a lot

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Okay, that is going to cause a lot of arguments because of a different type of attachment style and we're gonna talk about that because

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You can mitigate that it doesn't mean that you're not right for each other

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It just means that you're going to have to be very mindful of how the other person reacts in certain situations

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This is it's good. It stretches you. It's good. All right number of kids in your family

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Okay relationship if you have a wedding date, it would be there

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What's your relationship status as far as how far are you in relationship with each other?

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Have you been married before if you have children how many if you're expecting a child with each other?

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Never say never we have had people take Simba's that are expecting a child with each other

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No judgment length of dating relationship the stability of your dating relationship and long-distance

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one of the things that I don't agree with in Simba's is that it thinks that you have a better chance of

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Being a good match the longer you've been together that directly goes against the philosophy of last year single and what I teach

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I don't think that it has to necessarily do with length of time

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I do think that people should know each other through all four seasons before they get married that does not always happen

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Some people feel the green light from God to get married within the first year of knowing each other. That's cool

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That's fine. David and I actually did it and you see it worked out

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You hear a little little pieces of my love story if you had don't already know it throughout our class

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Okay, we were actually married in eight months or less and I have a book called

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married in 12 months or

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less. Okay. It's not, it's not 12 days or less.

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It's not 12 weeks or less. It's 12 months or less,

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which is an entire year if you do the math. Okay.

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And so I do believe in people really taking the time to be intentional and get

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to know each other and take courses like this so that you really can dig into

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what's really going on there before you say I do at the altar. Okay.

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So the length of your relationship, here's your first homework.

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Do you see this blue star section here at the bottom of page one,

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those throughout the assessment will be your signed homework.

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As we unpack this assessment together at each Monday

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that we're together.

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So I will give you homework a blue star section,

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and then you will come to the next Monday class. If you can't be there live,

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make sure you still do the homework and you will present that homework to the

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group. Okay.

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The very first thing you're going to present is next Monday.

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And it's going to be what are your goals personally?

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And as a couple for this premarital course,

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what's your goal is your goal to find out if we're compatible is your goal to

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find out more about what we need to do to be prepared to get married is your

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goal to find out if, you know, each, if you're the, if you're each other's one,

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you know, be very honest, be very transparent about what your goals are,

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discuss those things with each other,

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and then bring that back next week to be part of our

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share at the beginning. This is the only time we're going to share at the end

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today. You're going to tell us who you are, how you met all that good stuff.

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But at the beginning of every class going forward,

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you're going to share at the beginning, your homework. Okay.

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And each class will be about 75 ish minutes long,

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right? Page two. This is your marriage momentum meter. This is,

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it took all the information from your assessment and it gave you a marriage

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momentum score. And so you see that this speedometer is on high for Tony and

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Chris it's on that last little block, yellow block.

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Does anyone have a marriage momentum meter that is either straight up

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or to the left?

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Anyone kind of going slow with their momentum or just kind of middling right

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halfway. So everyone's either halfway or to the right. Yes.

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Okay. All right. So right here, this will all make sense to you later.

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But it's giving them a marriage mindset. Tony is romantic. Chris is resolute.

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We're going to get into that. It's giving caution flags to Tony,

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none to Chris.

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That's a caution flag for me when no one has any caution flags because everybody

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has things that they need to work through.

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So Chris is a caution flag for not having any caution flags.

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And so this is his wellbeing score.

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That is about where you are in your own heartwork and where you are as a couple,

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when both of your heartworks come together and are given a grade or a score

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on this assessment context that,

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that there's a whole bunch of different things that fall under context.

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And you'll see those things in just a second. And then what is the dynamic,

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the personality dynamic between these two people? All right.

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The cooperating spouse and the affirming spouse are what these people have.

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You guys, there is a companion book to this course.

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You see it here on the bottom of page two.

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We are not going to use this workbook.

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If you guys want to get the workbook and just go through it together,

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you absolutely can. If you want to do that extra work.

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But we are not going to be using that during this time.

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We'll be digging into a lot of stuff.

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You guys will see that we really don't need the workbook because we're going to

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dig into a lot of stuff that's even outside of this assessment. All right.

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So here we see on page three, the mindset, this is where you get,

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you get assigned a mindset, uh,

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romantic and resolute for this couple and how those mindsets match.

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How do they come together? I love complimentary opposites.

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Some of you might be polar opposites and guess what? That's still workable.

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You're going to have to work a little harder at understanding each other.

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Complimentary opposites have a tendency to understand each other more.

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And then if you're exactly the same, similar personalities,

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they have a hard time as well. So we have complimentary opposites.

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They usually have the easiest time. Okay.

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Cause they're different, but they're complimentary.

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And then we have polar opposites that sometimes it feels like working at like a

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job. When you get past all the infatuation,

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you don't really understand each other that well.

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And so you have to work at it harder.

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And then you have the people that are two alike what's happening here.

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There's no iron sharpening iron over here. There's no challenge.

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There's no rubbing. There's no stretching.

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And so you have to create opportunities to be challenged and stretched

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because the likelihood of you being challenged and stretched by each other is

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lessened because you're too much alike. Does that make sense to everybody?

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Please, as we're going through,

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write down your questions that you're going to ask me at the end.

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because I would love to answer those questions for you.

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And you'll see that this page, page three,

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is the first page that has this blue starred section

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at the bottom of it again.

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I'm not asking you to do this homework now.

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I already told you what your homework was for next session,

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but you will eventually be assigned

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all the blue starred sections,

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plus extra homework that I'll be giving you

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that has to do with outside tests and quizzes

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and different things that you'll be able to do

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in the Facebook page.

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The links will be in the Facebook page.

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All right, page four, wellbeing.

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Your marriage is only gonna be as healthy

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as you are individually as you come together.

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That's why in our program, we do heartwork.

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That's the very first phase of anyone who works with me

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is doing their heartwork, unpacking those boxes

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so you don't have to carry that baggage

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into your relationship.

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So here we're assessing

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these individual people's wellbeing,

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and then what are they the sum total of

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right here at the bottom?

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And what does that say about their longevity as a couple,

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their stability as a couple,

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and their similarity as a couple?

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And then at the bottom of page four,

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you see the blue starred section again, right?

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Then that first context, remember I said context.

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They had a context score on that first page

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in this assessment.

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This is what it was scoring, okay?

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So the first context is social support.

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How much support do you have for your relationship?

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Good marriages happen within good community.

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Go ahead and write that down.

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You're gonna hear me say that a lot.

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Good marriages happen within good community.

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It's not about you and your partner

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being siloed off on your own somewhere.

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It's important to understand that God wants to put you,

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place you into community where both of you can grow,

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grow as a couple and grow as individuals.

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Gentlemen, all of you need guys in your life

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that can check you before you wreck you,

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men that are gonna stretch you,

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men that are gonna call you up and call you out.

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You have to have that.

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That is going to make you a better husband.

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That's gonna make you a better father.

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And without it,

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you're probably gonna flounder a little bit

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because you're only gonna have your wife

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calling you up and calling you out.

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And you're gonna consider that nagging

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and you're not gonna like it.

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But if you don't have men doing that in your life

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and causing you to become better,

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your wife is gonna see,

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she's gonna think it's her job

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because she wants you to be a better man.

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Remember, we've been created to be the helpers.

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And just so you know that word,

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even though it kind of sounds like a subordinate,

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like second string type of person, it's not.

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The actual word is a word in Hebrew that is the word easier.

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And it means that we are warriors, okay?

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It means that we are challengers

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and we are going to help you

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to become the best version of yourself.

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But it's probably easier if you hear a lot of that stuff

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from another man in your life,

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fathers, brothers, peers, and so community.

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And then ladies, the book of Titus shows us

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that we need women in our lives that help us,

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help us to do what?

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Help us to be better mothers and better wives

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and help us to stay in our divine feminine.

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This whole culture wants women to be butt kickers, okay?

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Which we are, we're strong,

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but we wanna put on the butt kick hat

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outside of the marriage, not inside of the marriage.

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All right, let's divide and conquer,

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but let's not try to conquer each other.

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And so ladies, we wanna make sure

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that we are divinely feminine in our marriages,

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that we are a soft place to land,

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that we are supportive and helpful,

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and that we are also using our gifts and talents,

401
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whether inside the home or outside of the home

402
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to help the entire family to prosper and benefit, okay?

403
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And so we have to have community.

404
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So what kind of support do we have

405
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from friends and family for our relationship?

406
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Some of you may not have friends and family

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that have even met your person yet.

408
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Raise your hand if there are people close to you

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that have not met your boyfriend or girlfriend yet.

410
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People that are close to you that have not met them yet.

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Okay, all right, relationship with in-laws.

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Now, some of you were raised by wolves like me,

413
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and you don't really care what your family thinks

414
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about your potential partner because they have bad advice

415
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or they're not safe people.

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And we'll talk about what do we do

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if we're marrying into a family

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where the person that we're marrying doesn't talk?

419
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They have a no contact.

420
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Does anyone have that situation

421
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where you have no contact with your family

422
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because of boundaries,

423
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because they're not safe or healthy?

424
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Anybody?

425
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Don't talk to a mom or dad or sibling.

426
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Don't talk to maybe a grown child

427
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because they're just not that healthy.

428
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Okay, so we'll talk about how do we navigate that?

429
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What does that look like?

430
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Okay, has anyone raised their hand and say,

431
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I don't have a bad relationship with my family,

432
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but my potential partner here has not met them,

433
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has not met both of them.

434
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Maybe your parents are divorced

435
00:24:52.120 --> 00:24:53.840
and you haven't had a chance for them

436
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to meet both your parents.

437
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Okay, network of mutual friends we both enjoy.

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Do we have mutual friends?

439
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.300
Are we far enough in relationship to have them?

440
00:25:03.300 --> 00:25:05.940
And if we don't have them, we want to have them.

441
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And so that's important.

442
00:25:06.860 --> 00:25:09.700
And then social support from our faith community.

443
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Do you guys go to the same church?

444
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Do you go to different churches?

445
00:25:12.220 --> 00:25:13.580
Do you go to different denominations?

446
00:25:13.580 --> 00:25:15.940
Whose church are you going to go to when you get married?

447
00:25:15.940 --> 00:25:17.780
Are you going to go to one of the other churches

448
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or are you going to find a new church together?

449
00:25:19.500 --> 00:25:22.180
These are all important things to ask,

450
00:25:22.180 --> 00:25:26.180
not because church, but because of spiritual community.

451
00:25:26.180 --> 00:25:27.660
And so you guys, when I say the word church,

452
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I mean spiritual community.

453
00:25:28.700 --> 00:25:29.880
That could look like a home group.

454
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It could look like a running club for Christians.

455
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It can look like wherever it is that you show up

456
00:25:35.080 --> 00:25:38.440
and you're held accountable to good works.

457
00:25:39.480 --> 00:25:40.840
You're being provoked to good works.

458
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You're being provoked to deeper relationship with God.

459
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You're learning more about God,

460
00:25:44.960 --> 00:25:46.280
whatever that looks like for you,

461
00:25:46.280 --> 00:25:47.920
because it doesn't look traditional

462
00:25:47.920 --> 00:25:49.440
for a lot of people anymore.

463
00:25:49.440 --> 00:25:51.480
A lot of people don't have a local church.

464
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They have a spiritual community of some other kind.

465
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I have a business community that I meet up with,

466
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every month, that are all Christians.

467
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They're all spiritual entrepreneurs

468
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and we hold each other accountable.

469
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We pray for each other.

470
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We have a weekly prayer call.

471
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We do all kinds of different things.

472
00:26:08.200 --> 00:26:10.480
That is more my spiritual community

473
00:26:10.480 --> 00:26:13.080
than the local church that I sporadically attend.

474
00:26:14.440 --> 00:26:16.680
And so it can look like anything, but do you have it?

475
00:26:16.680 --> 00:26:19.440
And if not, how are you going to get it?

476
00:26:19.440 --> 00:26:23.680
So that's page five, and that is a blue-starred section.

477
00:26:23.680 --> 00:26:25.280
There, you'll see that there's some homework.

478
00:26:25.280 --> 00:26:27.080
And then we get into some nitty gritty.

479
00:26:27.440 --> 00:26:28.840
We're going to get into finances.

480
00:26:28.840 --> 00:26:30.840
What is your money matrix?

481
00:26:30.840 --> 00:26:31.920
What does that look like?

482
00:26:31.920 --> 00:26:34.560
Are you fit financially?

483
00:26:34.560 --> 00:26:35.680
Are you ready to be married?

484
00:26:35.680 --> 00:26:37.720
If not, how are you going to get ready?

485
00:26:37.720 --> 00:26:39.920
Money talks, we're going to do this entire section

486
00:26:39.920 --> 00:26:41.400
as homework, so don't do it yet.

487
00:26:41.400 --> 00:26:43.160
Don't do it until you're assigned it.

488
00:26:43.160 --> 00:26:45.440
That is going to be very revealing for healing.

489
00:26:45.440 --> 00:26:48.160
How do you process money?

490
00:26:48.160 --> 00:26:50.640
What does money mean in your life?

491
00:26:50.640 --> 00:26:53.000
Are you a wise steward of your resources?

492
00:26:53.000 --> 00:26:53.960
Are you in debt?

493
00:26:53.960 --> 00:26:55.400
How are you going to get out of debt?

494
00:26:55.400 --> 00:26:58.160
What does that look like to come together

495
00:26:58.160 --> 00:27:02.160
in the area of financial freedom?

496
00:27:02.160 --> 00:27:04.320
And then the next context is expectations.

497
00:27:04.320 --> 00:27:06.240
This is basically gender role stuff.

498
00:27:06.240 --> 00:27:08.640
Based on what you saw in your origin family,

499
00:27:08.640 --> 00:27:10.480
what do you think it's going to be like to be

500
00:27:10.480 --> 00:27:11.880
partnered with this person?

501
00:27:11.880 --> 00:27:13.800
Who do you expect to do what?

502
00:27:13.800 --> 00:27:18.360
We don't really have a lot of people that are too off on this.

503
00:27:18.360 --> 00:27:22.320
Most people see that it's a partnership,

504
00:27:22.320 --> 00:27:24.880
and so we don't really have a lot of problems with that page.

505
00:27:24.880 --> 00:27:27.040
And then you see there's some homework at the bottom.

506
00:27:27.040 --> 00:27:28.600
And then remarriage and blending a family.

507
00:27:28.600 --> 00:27:29.760
Who does this pertain to?

508
00:27:29.760 --> 00:27:31.840
Who would this be a remarriage for or you're

509
00:27:31.840 --> 00:27:35.320
blending a family, you already have children?

510
00:27:35.320 --> 00:27:37.160
Raise them high, loud and proud.

511
00:27:37.160 --> 00:27:38.240
Let's see them.

512
00:27:38.240 --> 00:27:39.440
OK, quite a few of you.

513
00:27:39.440 --> 00:27:41.320
All right, so this we're going to talk about.

514
00:27:41.320 --> 00:27:43.000
What's your motivation to remarry,

515
00:27:43.000 --> 00:27:44.680
your remarriage readiness?

516
00:27:44.680 --> 00:27:47.600
I do have a bonus session you can watch about divorce

517
00:27:47.600 --> 00:27:49.240
and remarriage biblically.

518
00:27:49.240 --> 00:27:50.240
What does that look like?

519
00:27:50.240 --> 00:27:53.440
It's really mistaught in so many religious circles.

520
00:27:53.440 --> 00:27:57.920
I want you to get free from the guilt of divorce.

521
00:27:57.920 --> 00:28:02.120
And also, some of you really need some encouragement

522
00:28:02.120 --> 00:28:04.040
that you're even allowed to get remarried

523
00:28:04.040 --> 00:28:07.200
from a spiritual point of view.

524
00:28:07.200 --> 00:28:09.800
And so you'll be able to see that bonus session when

525
00:28:09.800 --> 00:28:10.760
we get to here.

526
00:28:10.760 --> 00:28:13.400
And then blending a family, what does that look like?

527
00:28:13.400 --> 00:28:17.520
There's a reason why blended rhymes with offended.

528
00:28:17.520 --> 00:28:19.440
Because there's lots of opportunity

529
00:28:19.440 --> 00:28:21.640
to get offended in a blended family.

530
00:28:21.640 --> 00:28:24.840
Lots, baby mama drama, got baby daddy issues,

531
00:28:24.840 --> 00:28:28.040
got all kinds of stuff with in-laws and out-laws

532
00:28:28.040 --> 00:28:29.080
and all the things.

533
00:28:29.080 --> 00:28:32.440
And so we will talk about that during the session that

534
00:28:32.440 --> 00:28:34.640
includes page 7A.

535
00:28:34.640 --> 00:28:36.840
All right, going down to dynamics,

536
00:28:36.840 --> 00:28:39.480
this is the personalities.

537
00:28:39.480 --> 00:28:41.000
What are your similarities?

538
00:28:41.000 --> 00:28:42.080
What are your differences?

539
00:28:42.080 --> 00:28:44.440
How can you work together to conquer?

540
00:28:44.440 --> 00:28:46.600
How can you work together to be world changers?

541
00:28:46.600 --> 00:28:47.960
What is that going to look like?

542
00:28:47.960 --> 00:28:49.000
That's page 8.

543
00:28:49.000 --> 00:28:53.560
Page 9 is going to continue off the dynamics of the personality

544
00:28:53.560 --> 00:28:56.800
types that you were assigned from this SIMBAS assessment.

545
00:28:56.800 --> 00:29:00.440
And what does it look like to work together?

546
00:29:00.440 --> 00:29:02.000
What strengths do you bring?

547
00:29:02.000 --> 00:29:05.400
What weaknesses do you have to overcome together?

548
00:29:05.400 --> 00:29:07.920
What are your styles in solving problems

549
00:29:07.920 --> 00:29:09.640
and influencing each other?

550
00:29:09.640 --> 00:29:12.120
What are your styles in communicating?

551
00:29:12.120 --> 00:29:14.480
What's your relationship with change?

552
00:29:14.480 --> 00:29:16.480
What's your relationship with making decisions?

553
00:29:16.480 --> 00:29:17.880
What does that look like?

554
00:29:17.920 --> 00:29:20.440
And then the next dynamic is love.

555
00:29:20.440 --> 00:29:21.440
How do you view love?

556
00:29:21.440 --> 00:29:23.240
How do you feel loved?

557
00:29:23.240 --> 00:29:25.040
We don't all feel loved the same way.

558
00:29:25.040 --> 00:29:26.440
What is it going to take for your partner

559
00:29:26.440 --> 00:29:27.400
to feel loved by you?

560
00:29:27.400 --> 00:29:28.440
What does that look like?

561
00:29:28.440 --> 00:29:29.720
How do you define love?

562
00:29:29.720 --> 00:29:32.400
We're going to talk about sex.

563
00:29:32.400 --> 00:29:34.600
What's your sex life going to look like?

564
00:29:34.600 --> 00:29:36.320
What are you expecting it to look like?

565
00:29:36.320 --> 00:29:39.360
What do you think you need to work on in order

566
00:29:39.360 --> 00:29:42.600
to have a healthy connection physically?

567
00:29:42.600 --> 00:29:43.920
We're going to talk about that.

568
00:29:43.920 --> 00:29:45.600
The next dynamic is attitude.

569
00:29:45.640 --> 00:29:47.040
The different personalities,

570
00:29:47.040 --> 00:29:49.480
what kind of attitude do you bring to the table?

571
00:29:49.480 --> 00:29:52.400
What are you like when times get hard,

572
00:29:52.400 --> 00:29:54.480
when you're facing a challenge?

573
00:29:54.480 --> 00:29:56.000
What kind of, you know,

574
00:29:56.000 --> 00:29:58.520
if all of you are familiar with the Enneagram,

575
00:29:58.520 --> 00:30:00.320
do you go into, what do you go into?

576
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:02.840
to what personality you go into during when you're strong,

577
00:30:02.840 --> 00:30:05.760
what personality you go into when you're triggered and weak,

578
00:30:05.760 --> 00:30:07.040
places that you still need healing.

579
00:30:07.040 --> 00:30:09.640
What does that look like on that spectrum?

580
00:30:09.640 --> 00:30:11.200
Anyone here have a problem with the Enneagram?

581
00:30:11.200 --> 00:30:12.200
You think it's from the devil?

582
00:30:12.200 --> 00:30:13.200
Can I see a hand?

583
00:30:14.160 --> 00:30:16.520
We can skip that quiz if you do.

584
00:30:16.520 --> 00:30:19.240
You guys, just making sure.

585
00:30:20.240 --> 00:30:22.520
I'm friends with a guy,

586
00:30:22.520 --> 00:30:25.360
Zach Tyler on Instagram, Gospel for Enneagram.

587
00:30:25.360 --> 00:30:27.880
And just, it's a really powerful tool

588
00:30:27.880 --> 00:30:30.240
that you can use to really understand other people

589
00:30:30.240 --> 00:30:31.960
and where they're coming from.

590
00:30:31.960 --> 00:30:35.080
He's really dug into the origins of Enneagram

591
00:30:35.080 --> 00:30:36.160
and where it came from

592
00:30:36.160 --> 00:30:38.520
and the person that created that tool

593
00:30:38.520 --> 00:30:42.360
where there's a lot of urban legend out there about that.

594
00:30:42.360 --> 00:30:43.800
And so if you're one of the people

595
00:30:43.800 --> 00:30:46.320
that heard those urban legends and you believed it,

596
00:30:46.320 --> 00:30:49.320
I would love to share just a little report with you

597
00:30:49.320 --> 00:30:50.160
so you see that.

598
00:30:50.160 --> 00:30:52.000
It's just a tool like any other tool.

599
00:30:52.000 --> 00:30:53.920
Nothing in and of itself is demonic.

600
00:30:53.920 --> 00:30:58.920
People can use it for things that are not good, right?

601
00:31:00.440 --> 00:31:03.520
Just like money can be used for not good reasons.

602
00:31:03.520 --> 00:31:06.320
Any other tool could also be used for not good reasons.

603
00:31:06.320 --> 00:31:09.200
And so I think that it's important for us to understand

604
00:31:09.200 --> 00:31:11.880
that when we're using those tools,

605
00:31:11.880 --> 00:31:13.400
we're not looking for identity

606
00:31:13.400 --> 00:31:15.640
in personality tests and assessments.

607
00:31:15.640 --> 00:31:17.120
We're not looking for identity.

608
00:31:17.120 --> 00:31:20.280
What we are looking for is where are we right now

609
00:31:20.280 --> 00:31:22.640
and how do we react to certain stimulus?

610
00:31:22.640 --> 00:31:26.160
That's really all that those tools are supposed to tell us.

611
00:31:26.160 --> 00:31:27.000
Cool?

612
00:31:28.120 --> 00:31:28.960
Good?

613
00:31:30.400 --> 00:31:33.000
Hi, how you guys doing?

614
00:31:33.000 --> 00:31:33.840
Doing good?

615
00:31:33.840 --> 00:31:35.000
Okay, all right.

616
00:31:35.000 --> 00:31:35.960
This is page 11.

617
00:31:35.960 --> 00:31:36.880
I really like this

618
00:31:36.880 --> 00:31:39.440
because how do you perceive your partner

619
00:31:39.440 --> 00:31:41.400
when they get stressed out?

620
00:31:41.400 --> 00:31:44.000
Has anyone here not seen your partner stressed out yet?

621
00:31:44.000 --> 00:31:45.760
You've never seen them in a bad mood.

622
00:31:45.760 --> 00:31:47.480
You've never seen them in a funk.

623
00:31:47.480 --> 00:31:49.640
You've never seen them facing a problem.

624
00:31:49.640 --> 00:31:51.560
Raise your hand if you've just never seen this person

625
00:31:51.560 --> 00:31:53.600
except when they're just fat, dumb and happy.

626
00:31:53.600 --> 00:31:55.160
Come on, let's see it.

627
00:31:57.360 --> 00:31:58.200
Not that you're fat.

628
00:31:58.200 --> 00:31:59.240
That's just a saying.

629
00:32:00.560 --> 00:32:02.040
Because I feel like happiness sometimes

630
00:32:02.040 --> 00:32:03.800
is a little fluffy and fat.

631
00:32:03.800 --> 00:32:05.440
It's all the bad food.

632
00:32:05.440 --> 00:32:06.280
I don't know.

633
00:32:06.280 --> 00:32:07.680
It's just a me thing.

634
00:32:07.680 --> 00:32:12.080
Okay, so all of you have seen someone not at their best.

635
00:32:12.080 --> 00:32:12.920
That's good.

636
00:32:12.920 --> 00:32:15.480
We have a blue star section at the bottom of page 11.

637
00:32:15.480 --> 00:32:17.440
So we'll definitely be assigning that homework.

638
00:32:17.440 --> 00:32:18.280
Communication.

639
00:32:18.280 --> 00:32:20.320
This is the lifeblood of your relationship.

640
00:32:20.320 --> 00:32:22.160
How do you communicate?

641
00:32:22.160 --> 00:32:24.640
How do you want to be communicated with?

642
00:32:24.640 --> 00:32:27.280
What kind of self-preservation techniques

643
00:32:27.280 --> 00:32:30.400
do you come into when communication is off?

644
00:32:30.400 --> 00:32:33.080
And we're gonna give you an entire list of that.

645
00:32:33.080 --> 00:32:34.040
We're gonna give you a quiz.

646
00:32:34.040 --> 00:32:35.920
You're gonna be able to really find that out,

647
00:32:35.920 --> 00:32:37.120
dig into that.

648
00:32:37.120 --> 00:32:40.240
What kind of communication skills would you like to improve

649
00:32:40.240 --> 00:32:42.920
or would you like your partner to improve?

650
00:32:42.920 --> 00:32:44.040
Gender.

651
00:32:44.040 --> 00:32:45.720
This is kind of a throwaway page for me,

652
00:32:45.720 --> 00:32:48.200
except here at the bottom, your top five needs.

653
00:32:48.200 --> 00:32:52.840
Kind of important to see how the genders rank their needs.

654
00:32:52.840 --> 00:32:54.240
One to five.

655
00:32:54.240 --> 00:32:55.640
And then conflict.

656
00:32:55.640 --> 00:32:56.640
You're gonna have it.

657
00:32:56.640 --> 00:32:58.400
If you haven't had it yet, you will.

658
00:32:58.400 --> 00:32:59.240
You should.

659
00:32:59.240 --> 00:33:00.080
You need to.

660
00:33:00.080 --> 00:33:01.840
Raise your hand if you've never had any conflict

661
00:33:01.840 --> 00:33:02.840
with each other yet.

662
00:33:04.160 --> 00:33:05.000
Nope.

663
00:33:05.000 --> 00:33:05.960
No arguments.

664
00:33:06.840 --> 00:33:07.920
No disagreements.

665
00:33:09.440 --> 00:33:10.680
Wow, you guys are great.

666
00:33:11.720 --> 00:33:12.920
You've been arguing.

667
00:33:12.920 --> 00:33:13.880
I like it.

668
00:33:14.840 --> 00:33:15.680
Okay.

669
00:33:15.680 --> 00:33:19.680
So what are the personal conflict challenges that you have

670
00:33:19.680 --> 00:33:20.880
and what are the hot topics?

671
00:33:20.880 --> 00:33:22.160
According to this assessment,

672
00:33:22.160 --> 00:33:24.920
it took all your information and it gave some hot topics

673
00:33:24.920 --> 00:33:27.480
of what it thinks you're gonna fight about,

674
00:33:27.480 --> 00:33:29.480
specifically as a couple.

675
00:33:29.480 --> 00:33:31.280
And you see for these two,

676
00:33:31.280 --> 00:33:34.520
chores is the number one, all right?

677
00:33:34.520 --> 00:33:36.360
Both of them have sex on the list.

678
00:33:36.360 --> 00:33:38.080
Both of them have money on the list.

679
00:33:38.080 --> 00:33:40.280
It's ranked differently, but it's there.

680
00:33:41.920 --> 00:33:45.560
Tony has communication on the list over here.

681
00:33:46.440 --> 00:33:48.320
And children is on Chris's list.

682
00:33:48.320 --> 00:33:51.200
So there's some different things of the hot topics.

683
00:33:51.200 --> 00:33:53.880
And we're gonna fight, but we're gonna fight fair.

684
00:33:53.880 --> 00:33:55.800
Everyone's gonna fight, every couple.

685
00:33:57.000 --> 00:33:58.360
But we are gonna fight fair

686
00:33:58.360 --> 00:33:59.960
and we are gonna fight with honor.

687
00:33:59.960 --> 00:34:04.960
And we are going to disagree with momentum

688
00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:06.400
or upgrade in mind,

689
00:34:06.400 --> 00:34:07.800
because I believe every disagreement,

690
00:34:07.800 --> 00:34:10.639
every offense has the ability to upgrade the relationship

691
00:34:10.639 --> 00:34:13.880
and bring you closer if you want it to.

692
00:34:13.880 --> 00:34:15.080
All right, spirituality.

693
00:34:15.840 --> 00:34:18.000
How do you feel close to God?

694
00:34:18.000 --> 00:34:21.239
All of us engage God differently.

695
00:34:21.239 --> 00:34:22.080
We really do.

696
00:34:22.080 --> 00:34:23.840
And we need to make space for that in our marriage,

697
00:34:23.840 --> 00:34:25.920
in our relationship leading to marriage.

698
00:34:25.920 --> 00:34:28.800
We can't judge someone else's spirituality based on ours.

699
00:34:29.679 --> 00:34:32.480
We like to get up in the morning and read the word

700
00:34:32.480 --> 00:34:35.080
and have coffee with the Lord at five o'clock in the morning

701
00:34:35.080 --> 00:34:36.120
and dah, dah, dah.

702
00:34:36.120 --> 00:34:38.159
Well, just because your partner doesn't do that,

703
00:34:38.159 --> 00:34:40.320
doesn't make them less spiritual than you.

704
00:34:42.239 --> 00:34:44.880
Maybe they don't connect to God like that.

705
00:34:44.920 --> 00:34:46.199
Some people like to go out

706
00:34:46.199 --> 00:34:48.600
and get in a tree stand and kill Bambi.

707
00:34:48.600 --> 00:34:50.239
And that's how they feel close to the Lord.

708
00:34:50.239 --> 00:34:51.560
God's out there talking to them

709
00:34:51.560 --> 00:34:54.280
while they're shooting his creation.

710
00:34:56.320 --> 00:34:57.160
I'm only saying that

711
00:34:57.160 --> 00:34:58.320
because I've had quite a few men say,

712
00:34:58.320 --> 00:35:00.120
I feel close to God.

713
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.000
when I'm hunting, I'm like, okay, you know?

714
00:35:03.000 --> 00:35:05.460
So we can't judge other people's spirituality

715
00:35:05.460 --> 00:35:08.020
of how they feel like they're close to God.

716
00:35:08.020 --> 00:35:10.560
So what's your spiritual life going to look like together?

717
00:35:10.560 --> 00:35:12.040
Are you going to attend church together?

718
00:35:12.040 --> 00:35:13.980
Are you going to go to the same church?

719
00:35:13.980 --> 00:35:15.620
How are you going to discuss spiritual issues?

720
00:35:15.620 --> 00:35:17.480
Are you going to,

721
00:35:17.480 --> 00:35:20.720
are you going to receive communion, agree on theology?

722
00:35:20.720 --> 00:35:21.920
And I'm going to add to this list.

723
00:35:21.920 --> 00:35:23.080
I don't love this list.

724
00:35:23.080 --> 00:35:24.240
There's a couple of parts of Symbus

725
00:35:24.240 --> 00:35:25.720
that if I had created Symbus,

726
00:35:25.720 --> 00:35:27.000
I would have done it differently.

727
00:35:27.000 --> 00:35:29.040
And so when we get to this place,

728
00:35:29.080 --> 00:35:30.640
we're going to dig in a little deeper

729
00:35:30.640 --> 00:35:32.960
than just these things here, right?

730
00:35:32.960 --> 00:35:36.800
And then, like I said, if you need to book a one-on-one,

731
00:35:36.800 --> 00:35:37.960
where do you go from here?

732
00:35:37.960 --> 00:35:40.000
After Symbus is over, if you feel like,

733
00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:41.640
hey, there were just a couple of things

734
00:35:41.640 --> 00:35:43.000
that I need to dig deeper into

735
00:35:43.000 --> 00:35:44.300
that we want to dig deeper into,

736
00:35:44.300 --> 00:35:46.400
we do have one-on-ones available

737
00:35:46.400 --> 00:35:47.800
for those of you that want to dig deeper

738
00:35:47.800 --> 00:35:50.120
into your assessment one-on-one with a coach,

739
00:35:50.120 --> 00:35:54.580
with me or our other Symbus coach, all right?

740
00:35:54.580 --> 00:35:56.760
Okay, so I'm going to stop my share.

741
00:35:59.160 --> 00:36:03.040
And we are going to introduce ourselves.

742
00:36:03.040 --> 00:36:05.280
So we're going to start clockwise.

743
00:36:05.280 --> 00:36:06.440
I'm going to start up here in the corner

744
00:36:06.440 --> 00:36:08.040
and we're going to go clockwise.

745
00:36:08.040 --> 00:36:11.840
And then you guys are going to tell us who you are,

746
00:36:11.840 --> 00:36:15.280
where you live, how you met, how long you've been together.

747
00:36:15.280 --> 00:36:17.920
You know, what level of relationship are you at?

748
00:36:17.920 --> 00:36:19.440
Okay, does that sound good?

749
00:36:19.440 --> 00:36:23.760
Let's go ahead and start with Mickler and Evie.

750
00:36:23.760 --> 00:36:25.400
We're going to start with you guys.

751
00:36:26.400 --> 00:36:29.840
Hi everyone, my name is Mickler.

752
00:36:29.840 --> 00:36:31.760
This is Yvonne.

753
00:36:31.760 --> 00:36:33.320
Hi, I'm Yvonne.

754
00:36:34.320 --> 00:36:36.680
We were in Los Angeles.

755
00:36:36.680 --> 00:36:40.240
We met on a dating app called Holi.

756
00:36:40.240 --> 00:36:43.440
We've been dating for five months now.

757
00:36:44.320 --> 00:36:47.720
And I'm forgetting the other question.

758
00:36:50.120 --> 00:36:52.320
Wait, did you say where you lived?

759
00:36:52.320 --> 00:36:53.600
Los Angeles.

760
00:36:53.600 --> 00:36:54.600
Okay, Los Angeles.

761
00:36:54.600 --> 00:36:56.160
You guys met on Holi.

762
00:36:56.160 --> 00:36:57.760
You've been dating for five months.

763
00:36:57.760 --> 00:37:00.560
Okay, so you're dating and you're dating for five months.

764
00:37:01.960 --> 00:37:03.160
And I know Mickler.

765
00:37:03.160 --> 00:37:05.080
Mickler and I, we go back.

766
00:37:05.080 --> 00:37:09.080
And so, yeah, so that's exciting

767
00:37:09.080 --> 00:37:11.200
and I'm happy for you guys, that's fun.

768
00:37:11.200 --> 00:37:12.480
And she's cute, Mickler.

769
00:37:12.480 --> 00:37:15.400
So hey, he's like, yes.

770
00:37:15.400 --> 00:37:16.760
He's like, yes, yes, she is.

771
00:37:16.760 --> 00:37:18.440
Okay, that's fun.

772
00:37:18.440 --> 00:37:23.240
Okay, so the next that we have here is Jason and Allison.

773
00:37:23.880 --> 00:37:25.600
You guys are next on my screen.

774
00:37:25.600 --> 00:37:26.640
Same questions.

775
00:37:29.720 --> 00:37:31.040
Hi, I'm Jason.

776
00:37:31.040 --> 00:37:31.880
Allison.

777
00:37:32.960 --> 00:37:36.760
We met on a dating app as well.

778
00:37:36.760 --> 00:37:40.400
And we've been dating for 15 months.

779
00:37:40.400 --> 00:37:42.200
And we are currently engaged.

780
00:37:43.160 --> 00:37:44.000
Wow.

781
00:37:44.920 --> 00:37:47.160
We live in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.

782
00:37:49.040 --> 00:37:52.320
Murfreesboro, my grandma lived in Murfreesboro

783
00:37:52.320 --> 00:37:54.840
and my cousins live there.

784
00:37:54.840 --> 00:37:56.280
So for those of you that don't know where that is,

785
00:37:56.280 --> 00:37:58.800
very close to Nashville, Franklin,

786
00:37:58.800 --> 00:38:01.280
very close to that whole area over there.

787
00:38:01.280 --> 00:38:04.280
And awesome, well, glad to have you here.

788
00:38:04.280 --> 00:38:07.400
And Allison, you were in my program, weren't you?

789
00:38:07.400 --> 00:38:08.240
Oh, okay.

790
00:38:08.240 --> 00:38:09.800
2022, January, yeah.

791
00:38:09.800 --> 00:38:10.960
Yes, awesome.

792
00:38:10.960 --> 00:38:12.320
So glad to have you here.

793
00:38:12.320 --> 00:38:16.520
Okay, and then Nettie is next and whoever is your person.

794
00:38:19.000 --> 00:38:22.080
Hi, I'm Nettie and Armando is actually not on.

795
00:38:22.840 --> 00:38:24.280
He's with his kids at a hockey game

796
00:38:24.280 --> 00:38:25.480
for his son's birthday today.

797
00:38:25.480 --> 00:38:29.600
So we'll be on together hopefully in the future.

798
00:38:29.600 --> 00:38:33.080
But we're in Phoenix, Mesa-Gilbert area.

799
00:38:34.080 --> 00:38:36.680
We have only been dating about six, seven weeks.

800
00:38:36.680 --> 00:38:38.600
So pretty, pretty new.

801
00:38:40.160 --> 00:38:41.240
Yeah, and I was in Jack,

802
00:38:41.240 --> 00:38:44.600
oh, we met on also on a dating app on Facebook.

803
00:38:45.760 --> 00:38:46.760
Facebook dating.

804
00:38:48.160 --> 00:38:49.120
Awesome.

805
00:38:49.120 --> 00:38:51.600
See guys, the internet's not all bad.

806
00:38:52.120 --> 00:38:52.960
The apps aren't all bad.

807
00:38:52.960 --> 00:38:55.200
If you do the work, you can meet someone for sure.

808
00:38:55.200 --> 00:38:56.200
I believe that.

809
00:38:56.200 --> 00:38:59.000
Okay, so it's Alfonso, right?

810
00:38:59.000 --> 00:39:00.240
Armando.

811
00:39:00.240 --> 00:39:02.000
Armando, I'm sorry, what the heck?

812
00:39:02.000 --> 00:39:04.960
Okay, Armando, and he's gonna be able to be here next week.

813
00:39:04.960 --> 00:39:06.880
Make sure you let him know if he doesn't,

814
00:39:06.880 --> 00:39:08.720
well, first of all, he can watch the replay,

815
00:39:08.720 --> 00:39:11.520
but the homework is for you guys to come up

816
00:39:11.520 --> 00:39:12.600
with your goals individually

817
00:39:12.600 --> 00:39:14.240
and as a couple for this course.

818
00:39:15.360 --> 00:39:16.720
Okay, awesome.

819
00:39:16.720 --> 00:39:19.520
Guys, the most that you can be here live, the better.

820
00:39:19.520 --> 00:39:20.720
You can always watch the replays,

821
00:39:20.720 --> 00:39:22.040
but we'd love for you to be live.

822
00:39:22.040 --> 00:39:23.320
All right, very important.

823
00:39:23.320 --> 00:39:24.560
All right, Carrie, and then Carrie,

824
00:39:24.560 --> 00:39:27.320
who's your partner on here?

825
00:39:27.320 --> 00:39:30.360
My partner is Joss Smith.

826
00:39:30.360 --> 00:39:32.280
We're coming up on seven months

827
00:39:32.280 --> 00:39:34.240
and we met on Facebook dating

828
00:39:34.240 --> 00:39:36.800
and we're in the Dallas-Fort Worth area.

829
00:39:38.240 --> 00:39:39.400
Okay, awesome.

830
00:39:39.400 --> 00:39:41.840
And then Joss, you wanna add anything to that?

831
00:39:43.160 --> 00:39:46.120
No, I would say the same thing.

832
00:39:46.120 --> 00:39:49.040
We're a little bit further apart in the grapevine

833
00:39:49.080 --> 00:39:50.960
or in the Dallas-Fort Worth area.

834
00:39:50.960 --> 00:39:52.280
I'm in grapevine, she's in Azle,

835
00:39:52.280 --> 00:39:54.160
if you're familiar with the area.

836
00:39:55.120 --> 00:39:55.960
But we're-

837
00:39:55.960 --> 00:39:57.640
Lots of traffic.

838
00:39:57.640 --> 00:39:58.480
Yeah.

839
00:39:58.480 --> 00:39:59.680
Little bit, little bit.

840
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:07.340
It's like, I was just in LA for a whole week and it's like, um, I, I was talking

841
00:40:07.340 --> 00:40:08.760
to someone, I was like, Hey, let's get together.

842
00:40:08.760 --> 00:40:11.380
Cause I'm looking on the map and I'm like, you're only like four miles from me.

843
00:40:11.380 --> 00:40:12.820
They're like, yeah, that's two hours.

844
00:40:12.900 --> 00:40:18.660
And I was like, oh, um, so it's, it can get crazy with that Metroplex traffic.

845
00:40:18.660 --> 00:40:20.660
And then of course, LA is the same way.

846
00:40:20.660 --> 00:40:23.760
And then, yeah, so, okay, cool.

847
00:40:23.760 --> 00:40:28.180
So Carrie and Josh, did you guys say seven months and how did you meet?

848
00:40:30.120 --> 00:40:32.260
We were Facebook dating app.

849
00:40:33.240 --> 00:40:35.380
Stop Facebook dating again.

850
00:40:35.380 --> 00:40:36.300
Come on Facebook.

851
00:40:36.460 --> 00:40:36.800
All right.

852
00:40:37.420 --> 00:40:38.660
Okay, great.

853
00:40:38.700 --> 00:40:39.260
Love it.

854
00:40:39.320 --> 00:40:39.760
Okay.

855
00:40:39.760 --> 00:40:42.500
And then Amy, and who are you here with Amy?

856
00:40:43.060 --> 00:40:44.580
Hi, I'm here with Dave.

857
00:40:44.820 --> 00:40:47.140
Um, we're in the Seattle area.

858
00:40:47.140 --> 00:40:52.260
We've been dating for three months and we met on the upward dating app.

859
00:40:53.420 --> 00:40:54.120
Awesome.

860
00:40:54.120 --> 00:40:54.740
Look at this.

861
00:40:54.800 --> 00:40:55.220
Okay.

862
00:40:55.220 --> 00:40:56.080
Is Dave here?

863
00:40:56.140 --> 00:40:56.380
Oh yeah.

864
00:40:56.380 --> 00:40:56.940
Dave cross.

865
00:40:56.940 --> 00:40:58.300
Dave, you want to add anything to that?

866
00:41:01.000 --> 00:41:02.220
Dave, where's Dave?

867
00:41:02.820 --> 00:41:03.380
There we go.

868
00:41:04.100 --> 00:41:04.620
There we go.

869
00:41:04.620 --> 00:41:05.140
There he is.

870
00:41:05.820 --> 00:41:08.220
Yeah, no, I have the good fortune of dating Amy.

871
00:41:08.280 --> 00:41:12.660
So, uh, we met on, on upward and that's been awesome.

872
00:41:12.660 --> 00:41:18.100
I just relocated from kind of the LA area, San Diego area to Seattle

873
00:41:18.100 --> 00:41:20.220
to try and give this a good run.

874
00:41:20.220 --> 00:41:22.460
So, oh, I love that.

875
00:41:22.460 --> 00:41:22.860
Okay.

876
00:41:23.020 --> 00:41:23.380
All right.

877
00:41:23.380 --> 00:41:24.860
Already relocated you guys.

878
00:41:24.860 --> 00:41:26.780
That's very necessary and long distance.

879
00:41:26.780 --> 00:41:27.980
And so that's, that's great.

880
00:41:28.000 --> 00:41:29.640
Very necessary and long distance.

881
00:41:29.640 --> 00:41:32.420
And so that definitely shows intention.

882
00:41:32.480 --> 00:41:33.440
So that's awesome.

883
00:41:35.680 --> 00:41:37.440
Looking forward to coaching you guys.

884
00:41:37.480 --> 00:41:37.760
Okay.

885
00:41:37.760 --> 00:41:41.840
Joshua, you're up and who is that lovely lady with you?

886
00:41:44.120 --> 00:41:45.000
I'm Josh.

887
00:41:45.840 --> 00:41:46.840
Hi, and I'm Jen.

888
00:41:47.840 --> 00:41:53.680
Uh, we also met online, uh, been dating, I think right about six months

889
00:41:53.960 --> 00:41:55.960
and we live in Buffalo, New York.

890
00:41:57.280 --> 00:41:57.640
All right.

891
00:41:57.640 --> 00:41:59.020
So you guys are in the same place.

892
00:42:01.180 --> 00:42:01.820
We are right.

893
00:42:02.460 --> 00:42:03.060
Awesome.

894
00:42:03.460 --> 00:42:07.940
Um, no one, I didn't ask you to share this, but as anyone already have children

895
00:42:07.980 --> 00:42:09.460
that are coming into this mix too.

896
00:42:13.900 --> 00:42:15.540
Oh, quite a few people.

897
00:42:16.180 --> 00:42:16.700
Wow.

898
00:42:17.380 --> 00:42:19.540
Lots of kids, lots of kids around here.

899
00:42:19.580 --> 00:42:20.700
Okay, good.

900
00:42:20.860 --> 00:42:21.500
That's going to be good.

901
00:42:21.860 --> 00:42:23.860
Um, we are an amazing blended family.

902
00:42:23.900 --> 00:42:26.460
Um, when David and I met each other, we were next door neighbors.

903
00:42:26.760 --> 00:42:29.280
We actually met through our daughters that started playing together.

904
00:42:29.280 --> 00:42:32.760
My daughter was almost six and his daughter was nine and he

905
00:42:32.760 --> 00:42:34.560
had an 11 year old son as well.

906
00:42:34.600 --> 00:42:37.360
And so six, almost six, nine, 11.

907
00:42:37.360 --> 00:42:38.520
Now they're 29.

908
00:42:38.600 --> 00:42:41.040
My daughter's birthday is today, 27.

909
00:42:41.320 --> 00:42:43.760
And then my youngest daughter who just got married 23.

910
00:42:44.080 --> 00:42:46.320
So we know some things about blended family.

911
00:42:46.640 --> 00:42:47.240
Okay.

912
00:42:47.560 --> 00:42:52.480
And we will help you navigate that with grace and it's going to be great.

913
00:42:52.640 --> 00:42:53.000
All right.

914
00:42:53.840 --> 00:42:54.680
I love blended family.

915
00:42:54.700 --> 00:42:56.980
Blended family is amazing.

916
00:42:57.100 --> 00:43:03.500
If you have grace and you give it time and you're connected to the truth,

917
00:43:03.580 --> 00:43:07.460
grace, truth, and time Constance you're up and who is your partner?

918
00:43:12.900 --> 00:43:17.780
Yes, I'm Constance and Jeff is on with us as well.

919
00:43:17.780 --> 00:43:22.220
And we're in the Sacramento area and we've been dating about three months.

920
00:43:23.460 --> 00:43:23.980
Okay.

921
00:43:24.360 --> 00:43:26.920
And we did not meet online.

922
00:43:28.080 --> 00:43:32.920
We met, we met in person at a pickleball tournament.

923
00:43:33.840 --> 00:43:35.680
Come on, pick a ball.

924
00:43:37.000 --> 00:43:38.040
Everyone likes the pickleball.

925
00:43:38.040 --> 00:43:40.560
You guys have never played, never played pickleball.

926
00:43:40.600 --> 00:43:42.080
So going to have to do that.

927
00:43:42.520 --> 00:43:43.160
Well, that's exciting.

928
00:43:43.160 --> 00:43:43.400
Okay.

929
00:43:43.400 --> 00:43:45.880
So three months and already in Simbas.

930
00:43:45.940 --> 00:43:46.240
Okay.

931
00:43:46.240 --> 00:43:49.840
So you guys really, well, I'm going to hear your goals next Monday, but I'm

932
00:43:49.840 --> 00:43:53.740
assuming that you guys want to, you're serious about it and you want to, you

933
00:43:53.740 --> 00:43:55.220
know, get to know each other better.

934
00:43:56.020 --> 00:43:57.860
Um, so that's awesome.

935
00:43:57.860 --> 00:43:58.060
Okay.

936
00:43:58.060 --> 00:43:58.700
Let's see.

937
00:43:58.700 --> 00:44:00.940
I want us to see if I'm missing anybody here.

938
00:44:00.980 --> 00:44:03.660
Uh, Lydia and Carlos, I see y'all.

939
00:44:04.060 --> 00:44:05.540
Um, all right.

940
00:44:05.540 --> 00:44:05.780
Yeah.

941
00:44:05.820 --> 00:44:08.740
Lydia and Carlos, go ahead and unmute yourselves and tell us about you.

942
00:44:09.420 --> 00:44:09.860
Okay.

943
00:44:09.860 --> 00:44:10.460
There it is.

944
00:44:10.980 --> 00:44:12.660
Hi, Lydia.

945
00:44:14.500 --> 00:44:16.780
And we've been dating for about a year.

946
00:44:17.760 --> 00:44:18.480
We live here.

947
00:44:18.520 --> 00:44:21.840
We live here in Austin, Texas, and we met via Jackie.

948
00:44:22.360 --> 00:44:23.000
Yes.

949
00:44:24.320 --> 00:44:26.160
Woo Jackie.

950
00:44:27.040 --> 00:44:30.840
Oh, you can name your first child, Jack.

951
00:44:33.040 --> 00:44:33.400
Okay.

952
00:44:33.520 --> 00:44:34.320
So, all right.

953
00:44:34.320 --> 00:44:36.080
So yes, they're here in Austin with us.

954
00:44:36.080 --> 00:44:37.160
So that's awesome.

955
00:44:37.200 --> 00:44:39.200
Um, but, but Lydia, you live somewhere else.

956
00:44:39.200 --> 00:44:40.880
So you relocated from.

957
00:44:41.480 --> 00:44:43.080
I relocated from Nashville.

958
00:44:43.560 --> 00:44:44.080
Most recent.

959
00:44:44.400 --> 00:44:44.920
Yes.

960
00:44:45.900 --> 00:44:47.820
I've lived in different places.

961
00:44:48.940 --> 00:44:50.700
So yes.

962
00:44:51.220 --> 00:44:51.460
All right.

963
00:44:51.460 --> 00:44:52.340
Did I miss anyone?

964
00:44:52.500 --> 00:44:53.420
I don't think I missed anyone.

965
00:44:53.420 --> 00:44:53.780
Did I?

966
00:44:53.820 --> 00:44:54.060
Okay.

967
00:44:54.060 --> 00:44:58.500
So we have 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.

968
00:44:59.780 --> 00:44:59.940
And.

969
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.560
Nita, and I don't know what his name is,

970
00:45:04.560 --> 00:45:05.520
Nita is one of my students,

971
00:45:05.520 --> 00:45:07.180
they're supposed to be in this class as well.

972
00:45:07.180 --> 00:45:11.000
I do not see them, but hopefully they will watch the replay.

973
00:45:11.000 --> 00:45:12.480
All right, you guys, now it's Q&A time.

974
00:45:12.480 --> 00:45:17.480
We have, I wanna get you guys out of here by eight central.

975
00:45:17.880 --> 00:45:20.440
And so once again, all classes will be about

976
00:45:20.440 --> 00:45:23.400
60 to 75 minutes long, usually 75 minutes,

977
00:45:23.400 --> 00:45:25.480
except for orientation.

978
00:45:25.480 --> 00:45:28.920
And I'll respect your time, respect each other's time,

979
00:45:28.920 --> 00:45:32.280
try to be on time if you're gonna be here live

980
00:45:32.280 --> 00:45:34.120
and ready to share homework,

981
00:45:34.120 --> 00:45:36.320
because this is not the time to be shy,

982
00:45:36.320 --> 00:45:37.960
because the questions that you ask

983
00:45:37.960 --> 00:45:39.960
help other people ask their questions

984
00:45:39.960 --> 00:45:42.880
and maybe even answer other people's questions

985
00:45:42.880 --> 00:45:45.320
that are afraid to ask that same question.

986
00:45:45.320 --> 00:45:48.800
And so you guys are in a group pre-marital coaching class,

987
00:45:48.800 --> 00:45:50.800
and so you guys are going to help

988
00:45:51.800 --> 00:45:55.880
breakthrough happen for each other as you participate, okay?

989
00:45:55.880 --> 00:45:58.240
A lot of you have similar stories and you don't know it.

990
00:45:58.240 --> 00:46:00.680
A lot of you are facing similar things in relationship

991
00:46:00.680 --> 00:46:01.720
and you don't know it.

992
00:46:01.720 --> 00:46:04.320
And so the more that you open up,

993
00:46:04.320 --> 00:46:07.400
the more that others will be able to open up as well, okay?

994
00:46:07.400 --> 00:46:09.200
So your breakthrough creates breakthrough for others

995
00:46:09.200 --> 00:46:10.760
is basically what I'm trying to say.

996
00:46:10.760 --> 00:46:12.320
So we're gonna do some Q&A right now.

997
00:46:12.320 --> 00:46:14.160
Any questions that you have about logistics,

998
00:46:14.160 --> 00:46:17.560
about time, about replays, anything technical,

999
00:46:17.560 --> 00:46:19.680
anything that you have a question about

1000
00:46:19.680 --> 00:46:22.160
of what we maybe covered or said tonight,

1001
00:46:22.160 --> 00:46:25.360
anything and everything, let's go.

1002
00:46:25.400 --> 00:46:29.440
You can put it in the chat or you can unmute yourself.

1003
00:46:29.440 --> 00:46:30.560
I'd rather you unmute yourself.

1004
00:46:30.560 --> 00:46:32.160
So this isn't just the Jackie show

1005
00:46:32.160 --> 00:46:34.280
with me talking all night, that'd be great.

1006
00:46:34.280 --> 00:46:36.360
A question on logistics.

1007
00:46:36.360 --> 00:46:37.200
Okay.

1008
00:46:37.200 --> 00:46:39.920
Okay, if I'm not able to make it live,

1009
00:46:39.920 --> 00:46:42.800
but Yvonne is, is that okay?

1010
00:46:42.800 --> 00:46:46.960
And then we watch it together, is that what you recommend?

1011
00:46:46.960 --> 00:46:49.040
I would love for you to both be here live.

1012
00:46:49.040 --> 00:46:52.160
If only one of you can be here live, that's awesome.

1013
00:46:52.160 --> 00:46:53.600
If neither of you can be here live,

1014
00:46:53.600 --> 00:46:56.240
also replays are always available,

1015
00:46:56.240 --> 00:46:59.280
but make sure that you watch them together.

1016
00:46:59.280 --> 00:47:02.160
Okay, even if you're long distance, watch it together,

1017
00:47:02.160 --> 00:47:04.720
put it on, watch it together,

1018
00:47:04.720 --> 00:47:07.960
you know, go through the activations, talk to each other.

1019
00:47:07.960 --> 00:47:10.280
You're gonna get out of this what you put into it.

1020
00:47:11.600 --> 00:47:12.880
Okay, cool.

1021
00:47:12.880 --> 00:47:14.560
Sounds good, thank you.

1022
00:47:14.560 --> 00:47:15.400
Yep.

1023
00:47:17.960 --> 00:47:19.800
Is there anything that you would like us to do

1024
00:47:19.800 --> 00:47:21.120
for next week?

1025
00:47:22.120 --> 00:47:26.280
Yes, your homework is that first start section

1026
00:47:26.280 --> 00:47:28.200
at the bottom, I think it's page one.

1027
00:47:28.200 --> 00:47:30.640
What are your goals for this class?

1028
00:47:30.640 --> 00:47:31.840
Why did you sign up?

1029
00:47:31.840 --> 00:47:34.080
What are you hoping to learn?

1030
00:47:34.080 --> 00:47:37.080
Is there a question that you're hoping to answer

1031
00:47:37.080 --> 00:47:38.960
about the relationship?

1032
00:47:38.960 --> 00:47:40.560
Is there something that you need to see

1033
00:47:40.560 --> 00:47:45.560
in order to assess compatibility for the long run?

1034
00:47:45.840 --> 00:47:46.960
You know, what is it?

1035
00:47:46.960 --> 00:47:48.360
Is there something inside of yourself

1036
00:47:48.360 --> 00:47:51.480
that you wanna, you know, wanna get to the bottom of?

1037
00:47:51.480 --> 00:47:52.800
What?

1038
00:47:52.800 --> 00:47:54.560
Individually and together,

1039
00:47:54.560 --> 00:47:57.400
you're gonna share your goals for the six weeks.

1040
00:47:57.400 --> 00:47:59.000
I believe that we don't get what we expect,

1041
00:47:59.000 --> 00:48:00.200
we get what we inspect.

1042
00:48:00.200 --> 00:48:04.200
And so it's important that we inspect what we want

1043
00:48:04.200 --> 00:48:08.200
and we put it down and then just hold each other accountable

1044
00:48:08.200 --> 00:48:09.880
to getting there for those goals.

1045
00:48:16.520 --> 00:48:17.680
Any other questions?

1046
00:48:19.360 --> 00:48:20.200
Mm-hmm.

1047
00:48:24.720 --> 00:48:26.800
For the, let's see, who was it?

1048
00:48:26.800 --> 00:48:28.640
Jason and Allison are engaged.

1049
00:48:28.640 --> 00:48:29.960
Did you say there's a wedding date?

1050
00:48:29.960 --> 00:48:30.800
What's the date?

1051
00:48:34.280 --> 00:48:36.640
All right, don't panic, but December 4th.

1052
00:48:38.920 --> 00:48:40.440
No, I'm not panicked.

1053
00:48:41.600 --> 00:48:43.840
December 4th, got it.

1054
00:48:43.840 --> 00:48:45.080
Okay.

1055
00:48:45.080 --> 00:48:47.240
And are you guys blending a family?

1056
00:48:48.120 --> 00:48:49.200
Very nice.

1057
00:48:49.200 --> 00:48:50.680
And how old are your children?

1058
00:48:52.440 --> 00:48:55.360
I've got two girls, 17 and 11.

1059
00:48:55.360 --> 00:48:56.200
Okay.

1060
00:48:56.200 --> 00:48:57.640
And I have a 13-year-old boy

1061
00:48:57.640 --> 00:48:59.560
and almost 11-year-old girl.

1062
00:49:00.720 --> 00:49:03.200
Okay, so two 11-year-old girls.

1063
00:49:03.200 --> 00:49:04.880
That's fun, right?

1064
00:49:05.800 --> 00:49:06.640
And then-

1065
00:49:06.640 --> 00:49:07.480
My oldest just turned 12.

1066
00:49:07.480 --> 00:49:08.760
Okay.

1067
00:49:08.760 --> 00:49:10.200
Just, she turned 12 in October.

1068
00:49:10.200 --> 00:49:11.040
Yeah.

1069
00:49:11.040 --> 00:49:11.880
So yeah.

1070
00:49:11.880 --> 00:49:12.720
But still close enough.

1071
00:49:12.720 --> 00:49:14.360
It'll be 11, 12, 13, and then a 17.

1072
00:49:14.360 --> 00:49:16.200
So real close.

1073
00:49:16.200 --> 00:49:19.480
And you guys have shared parenting of your children?

1074
00:49:19.480 --> 00:49:20.320
Yes.

1075
00:49:21.320 --> 00:49:23.120
I'm gonna talk about this in the blended family,

1076
00:49:23.120 --> 00:49:23.960
but I'm gonna go ahead

1077
00:49:23.960 --> 00:49:25.840
and just give you this bonus round right now.

1078
00:49:25.840 --> 00:49:27.240
Get on the same schedule.

1079
00:49:28.280 --> 00:49:29.120
Okay.

1080
00:49:29.120 --> 00:49:31.920
Either have all the children or no children.

1081
00:49:31.920 --> 00:49:32.760
Yes.

1082
00:49:32.760 --> 00:49:34.480
That way you can enjoy being newlyweds.

1083
00:49:34.480 --> 00:49:36.280
All the children or no children.

1084
00:49:36.280 --> 00:49:37.120
All right.

1085
00:49:37.120 --> 00:49:39.160
It's really important to the success of blended families.

1086
00:49:39.160 --> 00:49:41.480
So get there as close as you can

1087
00:49:41.480 --> 00:49:44.360
to where that you have carved out some alone couple time

1088
00:49:44.360 --> 00:49:45.800
of getting to know each other

1089
00:49:46.360 --> 00:49:48.320
and being able to build that foundation with each other

1090
00:49:48.320 --> 00:49:50.480
without all of this kid stuff.

1091
00:49:52.640 --> 00:49:54.600
That's why we chose December 4th.

1092
00:49:54.600 --> 00:49:56.600
So we got the holiday schedules to factor in

1093
00:49:56.600 --> 00:49:58.960
and new years and all that.

1094
00:49:58.960 --> 00:49:59.800
Yes.

1095
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:01.080
Yes, yes.

1096
00:50:01.080 --> 00:50:03.120
Both of your former spouses alive

1097
00:50:03.120 --> 00:50:04.920
and on board with this marriage?

1098
00:50:06.840 --> 00:50:07.680
Yes.

1099
00:50:07.680 --> 00:50:08.880
They are, surprisingly.

1100
00:50:08.880 --> 00:50:12.480
Like my husband is better to me now, I think,

1101
00:50:12.480 --> 00:50:14.440
just that I've got someone in my life.

1102
00:50:15.720 --> 00:50:16.560
Oh, perfect.

1103
00:50:16.560 --> 00:50:18.100
He doesn't feel responsible for you anymore.

1104
00:50:18.100 --> 00:50:18.940
Okay.

1105
00:50:18.940 --> 00:50:19.760
Exactly.

1106
00:50:19.760 --> 00:50:20.680
Yes.

1107
00:50:20.680 --> 00:50:21.520
Okay, good.

1108
00:50:21.520 --> 00:50:22.360
Awesome.

1109
00:50:23.240 --> 00:50:24.080
Well, that's awesome.

1110
00:50:24.080 --> 00:50:25.920
I'm excited for you guys, December 4th.

1111
00:50:25.920 --> 00:50:28.800
And it's so easy to decorate a winter wedding, you guys.

1112
00:50:28.840 --> 00:50:31.120
Because all the twinkle lights and all the things,

1113
00:50:31.120 --> 00:50:33.180
winter weddings are so easy

1114
00:50:33.180 --> 00:50:36.260
because Christmas month is so beautiful already.

1115
00:50:38.000 --> 00:50:38.840
Yes.

1116
00:50:38.840 --> 00:50:39.760
One thing led to another.

1117
00:50:39.760 --> 00:50:41.200
Yeah, my dad's gonna perform.

1118
00:50:41.200 --> 00:50:42.120
My dad's a pastor.

1119
00:50:42.120 --> 00:50:45.360
He's gonna marry us in our old historic church

1120
00:50:45.360 --> 00:50:46.800
that my grandfather was buried in.

1121
00:50:46.800 --> 00:50:50.160
My roots are deep in this city, yeah.

1122
00:50:50.160 --> 00:50:51.560
Oh, that's so beautiful.

1123
00:50:51.560 --> 00:50:52.760
I love that.

1124
00:50:53.840 --> 00:50:54.920
Well, enjoy it.

1125
00:50:54.920 --> 00:50:56.560
Because y'all have two daughters

1126
00:50:56.560 --> 00:50:58.680
that are gonna go into puberty here in a second.

1127
00:50:59.520 --> 00:51:00.360
So praise the Lord.

1128
00:51:01.360 --> 00:51:02.200
Okay.

1129
00:51:05.160 --> 00:51:06.000
Okay.

1130
00:51:06.000 --> 00:51:08.880
All the kids on board and excited about you getting married?

1131
00:51:08.880 --> 00:51:09.720
They are.

1132
00:51:09.720 --> 00:51:10.540
Yeah.

1133
00:51:10.540 --> 00:51:11.640
Okay, good.

1134
00:51:11.640 --> 00:51:12.480
I love it.

1135
00:51:12.480 --> 00:51:13.320
Yeah.

1136
00:51:13.320 --> 00:51:14.140
I love it.

1137
00:51:14.140 --> 00:51:16.120
Well, hopefully we'll be able to give you some cheat codes

1138
00:51:16.120 --> 00:51:20.000
on how to blend that family even faster.

1139
00:51:21.240 --> 00:51:22.560
Sweet.

1140
00:51:22.560 --> 00:51:25.480
I think my 11 year old has a crush on him.

1141
00:51:26.920 --> 00:51:27.960
That's normal.

1142
00:51:29.440 --> 00:51:30.280
Yeah.

1143
00:51:30.280 --> 00:51:32.360
He's innocent, but I see it.

1144
00:51:32.360 --> 00:51:34.320
Yeah, just the doting eyes.

1145
00:51:36.560 --> 00:51:38.440
Yeah, I think that's normal.

1146
00:51:38.440 --> 00:51:40.960
And my youngest daughter, who's my biological child,

1147
00:51:40.960 --> 00:51:43.480
who just turned 23 and got married,

1148
00:51:43.480 --> 00:51:46.360
my husband, David, actually officiated that wedding.

1149
00:51:46.360 --> 00:51:47.640
She wanted him to do something

1150
00:51:47.640 --> 00:51:49.360
since he wasn't gonna be walking her down the aisle

1151
00:51:49.360 --> 00:51:50.560
because her dad did.

1152
00:51:50.560 --> 00:51:53.480
And they're peas in a pod, him and her.

1153
00:51:53.480 --> 00:51:56.760
And so they have a very special, very close relationship.

1154
00:51:56.760 --> 00:51:57.640
She loves her dad.

1155
00:51:57.640 --> 00:51:58.840
She has a good relationship with him,

1156
00:51:58.840 --> 00:52:00.000
but this is daddy David.

1157
00:52:00.000 --> 00:52:02.560
It's a completely different type of relationship.

1158
00:52:02.560 --> 00:52:05.360
And it's really very beautiful to watch.

1159
00:52:05.360 --> 00:52:06.200
I love it.

1160
00:52:07.200 --> 00:52:08.040
That's great.

1161
00:52:08.040 --> 00:52:08.860
Yeah.

1162
00:52:08.860 --> 00:52:10.160
Yeah, it's good to know.

1163
00:52:10.160 --> 00:52:11.000
All right.

1164
00:52:11.000 --> 00:52:14.360
So anyone have kids that are like real little,

1165
00:52:14.360 --> 00:52:17.880
like under three, babies?

1166
00:52:17.880 --> 00:52:19.000
Oh, we got babies.

1167
00:52:19.000 --> 00:52:20.800
All right, tell me about your babies real quick, Amy.

1168
00:52:20.800 --> 00:52:21.640
What you got?

1169
00:52:23.120 --> 00:52:24.600
My youngest is three.

1170
00:52:25.600 --> 00:52:27.440
Three years old.

1171
00:52:28.240 --> 00:52:30.000
And she doesn't, a girl.

1172
00:52:30.000 --> 00:52:30.840
Yeah.

1173
00:52:30.840 --> 00:52:31.680
Okay.

1174
00:52:31.680 --> 00:52:33.040
She doesn't know her father.

1175
00:52:33.040 --> 00:52:36.880
So she's excited to get to know David.

1176
00:52:36.880 --> 00:52:38.800
Oh, that's really sweet.

1177
00:52:38.800 --> 00:52:40.400
Okay, and let's see.

1178
00:52:43.200 --> 00:52:45.840
Amy, you guys been together for four months?

1179
00:52:46.720 --> 00:52:47.840
Three, yeah.

1180
00:52:47.840 --> 00:52:48.920
Great, three months.

1181
00:52:48.920 --> 00:52:50.840
And he's already relocated.

1182
00:52:50.840 --> 00:52:52.760
Okay, yes, that's very special.

1183
00:52:52.760 --> 00:52:54.040
It's very special there, Dave.

1184
00:52:54.040 --> 00:52:56.880
So I'm sure that, I'm sure.

1185
00:52:56.880 --> 00:52:59.200
Do you have any kids of your own?

1186
00:52:59.200 --> 00:53:00.960
I have five.

1187
00:53:00.960 --> 00:53:01.800
Oh, wow, okay.

1188
00:53:01.800 --> 00:53:05.200
But I don't have any time with them right now.

1189
00:53:05.200 --> 00:53:08.880
It's kind of, there's been a lot of alienation

1190
00:53:08.880 --> 00:53:10.080
and things that have gone on.

1191
00:53:10.080 --> 00:53:12.280
And I have kind of stepped away from it

1192
00:53:12.280 --> 00:53:15.760
to try and just give that space.

1193
00:53:16.760 --> 00:53:18.280
Gotcha.

1194
00:53:18.280 --> 00:53:21.520
So it's really, it's been really cool for me

1195
00:53:21.520 --> 00:53:25.000
to get to know Amy and her kids.

1196
00:53:25.000 --> 00:53:27.920
And they're some pretty awesome kids.

1197
00:53:27.920 --> 00:53:31.000
So I'm excited for the future with that.

1198
00:53:32.240 --> 00:53:33.400
That is exciting.

1199
00:53:33.400 --> 00:53:34.800
I'm excited for you.

1200
00:53:34.800 --> 00:53:37.560
And prayerfully, you'll be able to reconnect

1201
00:53:37.560 --> 00:53:39.120
with your children as well.

1202
00:53:39.120 --> 00:53:40.560
Because that happens a lot in divorce.

1203
00:53:40.560 --> 00:53:41.480
It's really unfortunate,

1204
00:53:41.480 --> 00:53:44.520
but there's a lot of parental alienation out there.

1205
00:53:44.520 --> 00:53:46.280
Doesn't mean that the parent that's being alienated

1206
00:53:46.280 --> 00:53:47.880
is a bad person.

1207
00:53:47.880 --> 00:53:51.160
It just means that there's a lot of unresolved anger

1208
00:53:51.160 --> 00:53:53.400
and different things in those situations

1209
00:53:53.400 --> 00:53:55.320
that become very manipulative with kids

1210
00:53:55.320 --> 00:53:56.880
caught in the crosshairs.

1211
00:53:56.880 --> 00:53:58.040
And so I see it a lot,

1212
00:53:58.040 --> 00:54:00.240
but we'll be able to give you guys some advice

1213
00:54:00.240 --> 00:54:02.080
on how to navigate that as well,

1214
00:54:02.080 --> 00:54:03.680
because we deal with that a lot.

1215
00:54:04.600 --> 00:54:08.600
So, and then I saw that Evie had her hand up for a baby,

1216
00:54:08.600 --> 00:54:10.520
babies, little baby.

1217
00:54:10.520 --> 00:54:15.520
Yeah, I have a baby that's 15 months old.

1218
00:54:16.000 --> 00:54:16.880
Wow.

1219
00:54:16.880 --> 00:54:17.720
Yeah.

1220
00:54:17.720 --> 00:54:22.720
So I have all girls and my toddler just turned four.

1221
00:54:24.440 --> 00:54:27.520
Okay, so all girls, how many girls?

1222
00:54:27.520 --> 00:54:29.280
I have three girls.

1223
00:54:29.280 --> 00:54:31.960
Okay, four-year-old and then?

1224
00:54:31.960 --> 00:54:34.760
I have my 15-month-old, my four-year-old,

1225
00:54:34.760 --> 00:54:37.080
and then my soon to be 11-year-old.

1226
00:54:37.960 --> 00:54:39.280
Okay, wow.

1227
00:54:39.280 --> 00:54:41.080
Houseful girls, got it.

1228
00:54:41.080 --> 00:54:43.280
And Mickler, do you have any kids?

1229
00:54:43.280 --> 00:54:47.200
Yeah, one son, he's 14, turning 15.

1230
00:54:48.040 --> 00:54:48.880
Okay.

1231
00:54:49.960 --> 00:54:50.800
January?

1232
00:54:52.520 --> 00:54:54.000
What day?

1233
00:54:54.000 --> 00:54:55.400
15th.

1234
00:54:55.400 --> 00:54:57.520
On my birthday, it's the 16th.

1235
00:54:57.520 --> 00:54:59.120
Oh, wow. Yay!

1236
00:54:59.120 --> 00:54:59.960
Oh, wow.

1237
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.600
Today, my birthday is the same as your daughter's is today.

1238
00:55:03.720 --> 00:55:05.200
Oh, it is 11, 11.

1239
00:55:05.200 --> 00:55:05.880
I love it.

1240
00:55:06.080 --> 00:55:07.360
Happy birthday.

1241
00:55:07.600 --> 00:55:08.000
Thank you.

1242
00:55:08.000 --> 00:55:08.640
Happy birthday.

1243
00:55:10.160 --> 00:55:10.640
I'm sorry.

1244
00:55:10.880 --> 00:55:13.360
Holy 32, 32.

1245
00:55:13.400 --> 00:55:13.560
Yeah.

1246
00:55:13.600 --> 00:55:15.640
She turned 27 and you turned 32.

1247
00:55:15.680 --> 00:55:16.320
So fun.

1248
00:55:16.480 --> 00:55:16.960
That's great.

1249
00:55:16.960 --> 00:55:17.720
What a great birthday.

1250
00:55:17.720 --> 00:55:18.400
11, 11.

1251
00:55:18.400 --> 00:55:18.800
I love it.

1252
00:55:19.320 --> 00:55:20.680
Um, okay.

1253
00:55:20.680 --> 00:55:24.560
So yes, if you guys want to just throw up in the chat, how old your kids are,

1254
00:55:24.560 --> 00:55:27.200
for those of you that have children, let's just take a look at that real quick.

1255
00:55:27.480 --> 00:55:33.320
You have about two minutes left just so that we can see who has what, um,

1256
00:55:33.920 --> 00:55:36.680
these, these are some beautiful families coming together.

1257
00:55:36.840 --> 00:55:40.080
And I believe that when God writes our love story, it's not just our love story.

1258
00:55:40.080 --> 00:55:41.600
It's also our children's love story.

1259
00:55:41.600 --> 00:55:44.520
If we have kids already, it's their love story as well.

1260
00:55:44.760 --> 00:55:47.400
And so we want to make sure that we are helping them prepare.

1261
00:55:47.680 --> 00:55:50.400
And I'll give you tools and different things to help them prepare.

1262
00:55:50.560 --> 00:55:54.520
Sometimes kids, especially preteens and teenagers are not all about it.

1263
00:55:55.080 --> 00:55:56.960
They don't really want you to get remarried.

1264
00:55:56.960 --> 00:55:58.160
They want you to themselves.

1265
00:55:58.160 --> 00:55:59.360
They're afraid of alienation.

1266
00:55:59.360 --> 00:56:01.920
They're afraid of abandonment, especially if it's been a messy

1267
00:56:01.920 --> 00:56:04.400
divorce, we'll help you with that stuff.

1268
00:56:04.560 --> 00:56:07.160
For those of you that don't have any children, we're not going

1269
00:56:07.160 --> 00:56:08.600
to waste your time with that.

1270
00:56:08.640 --> 00:56:12.920
But it will be important for that when you do have children, because all of

1271
00:56:12.920 --> 00:56:17.800
these same, you know, rules of engagement apply to kids just in general.

1272
00:56:18.040 --> 00:56:21.560
So 13, three, eight, and 10, all girls.

1273
00:56:21.600 --> 00:56:22.200
Wow.

1274
00:56:22.560 --> 00:56:24.560
Uh, 12 and 13 boys.

1275
00:56:25.160 --> 00:56:28.240
A 12, 13, 16, 22, and 24.

1276
00:56:29.000 --> 00:56:29.440
Whoa.

1277
00:56:29.640 --> 00:56:31.520
That's a, that's a, that's a team.

1278
00:56:31.840 --> 00:56:32.400
That's a team.

1279
00:56:32.400 --> 00:56:34.320
That's a sports team of some sort right there.

1280
00:56:34.400 --> 00:56:35.200
Basketball, right?

1281
00:56:35.200 --> 00:56:35.600
Five.

1282
00:56:35.640 --> 00:56:38.240
That's a basketball team, except maybe not.

1283
00:56:38.640 --> 00:56:44.560
Almondo has an eight year old girl and 12 year old boy, a 17, 15, 13, 11, 10,

1284
00:56:44.560 --> 00:56:48.440
all girls with a trans oldest transitioning to a boy.

1285
00:56:48.480 --> 00:56:48.880
All right.

1286
00:56:48.880 --> 00:56:52.000
So Dave, we see that, you know, there's just been, there's a lot of

1287
00:56:52.000 --> 00:56:53.520
trauma going on with your kids.

1288
00:56:53.600 --> 00:56:56.120
And that's probably part of the alienation.

1289
00:56:56.120 --> 00:56:56.560
Right.

1290
00:56:57.080 --> 00:57:02.720
And so, um, so yeah, so we're going to be able to support you in that.

1291
00:57:03.040 --> 00:57:08.360
Um, yeah, you guys, these kids nowadays, Gen Z, they have it rough out there.

1292
00:57:08.880 --> 00:57:12.240
And so we need to be giving them as much support as we can, because they are

1293
00:57:12.240 --> 00:57:17.800
being bombarded on every side with all kinds of rhetoric and agenda.

1294
00:57:18.600 --> 00:57:23.200
And of course, um, half truths, lies, all the things.

1295
00:57:23.720 --> 00:57:23.960
All right.

1296
00:57:23.960 --> 00:57:25.120
Well, thank you for joining me.

1297
00:57:25.160 --> 00:57:25.840
Who's excited.

1298
00:57:25.840 --> 00:57:27.120
You guys excited about Simbas?

1299
00:57:27.120 --> 00:57:28.480
We're going to have so much fun.

1300
00:57:28.880 --> 00:57:31.120
Um, come back armed with your goals.

1301
00:57:31.760 --> 00:57:34.560
You know, make sure that you're really transparent about those, because

1302
00:57:34.560 --> 00:57:37.000
whatever you put into it is what you're going to get out of it.

1303
00:57:37.240 --> 00:57:39.000
Try to be here live as much as possible.

1304
00:57:39.000 --> 00:57:43.280
If not watch the replays, watch them together, dig into the questions

1305
00:57:43.280 --> 00:57:48.320
together, when I give you homework, do the homework together, and you will

1306
00:57:48.440 --> 00:57:55.080
really get a lot closer, a lot more clear in this, um, in this class about

1307
00:57:55.080 --> 00:57:57.080
each other and about where you guys are headed.

1308
00:57:57.280 --> 00:57:57.760
Okay.

1309
00:57:58.040 --> 00:57:58.520
All right.

1310
00:57:58.680 --> 00:58:00.720
Have an amazing night and we'll see you soon.

1311
00:58:00.800 --> 00:58:04.320
By the way, the replays are going to be in this group and they

1312
00:58:04.320 --> 00:58:05.760
will be in the guide section.

1313
00:58:06.160 --> 00:58:06.400
Right.

1314
00:58:06.400 --> 00:58:10.400
And they'll get put up right after it's over within just a few hours.

1315
00:58:10.760 --> 00:58:11.160
Okay.

1316
00:58:11.320 --> 00:58:11.880
See you soon.

1317
00:58:11.960 --> 00:58:12.560
Bye everyone.