WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:10.040 All right, hello, ladies, so we've just got a couple of you on at the moment, but I'm 2 00:00:10.040 --> 00:00:17.080 sure more people will join, typically happens on a Tuesday at one o'clock, so no worries 3 00:00:17.080 --> 00:00:18.080 there. 4 00:00:18.080 --> 00:00:28.600 All right, so today it's November 12th, this is your one o'clock phase two check-in call, 5 00:00:28.600 --> 00:00:35.200 so good to be here, I'm Carla Johnson, I'm one of your coaches, so good to see you, it 6 00:00:35.200 --> 00:00:39.240 looks like somebody just popped off, now there's just three of us, maybe they'll come back, 7 00:00:39.240 --> 00:00:43.680 maybe there was just bad connection, I'm going to go ahead and get us started with some housekeeping 8 00:00:43.680 --> 00:00:53.080 items, and then we will go ahead and dive right in, so is there anyone on here currently 9 00:00:53.080 --> 00:00:57.000 that's new to phase two? 10 00:00:57.000 --> 00:00:58.000 I am. 11 00:00:58.000 --> 00:01:06.600 Okay, Brittany, I thought you looked new, that's okay, sometimes some people come to 12 00:01:06.600 --> 00:01:12.480 the afternoon or the evening call, so I don't always get to see y'all's faces, so sometimes 13 00:01:12.480 --> 00:01:17.240 I don't want to call people out, because you might have been here for a couple weeks, and 14 00:01:17.240 --> 00:01:21.800 this is your first time on the one o'clock, but thank you so much for coming, we're so 15 00:01:21.800 --> 00:01:27.640 happy to have you, I'm Carla Johnson, I'm one of your coaches here with phase two, I've 16 00:01:27.640 --> 00:01:33.760 been with Jackie since towards the end of 2020, I actually found her at the end of September, 17 00:01:33.760 --> 00:01:40.480 I am excited to say I am a success story, it took me some time to get there, but I did 18 00:01:40.480 --> 00:01:49.760 find a husband, he found me, and we've been married a little over a year, in fact we actually, 19 00:01:49.760 --> 00:01:57.960 he actually messaged me yesterday to wish me a happy when we first met text, so it was 20 00:01:57.960 --> 00:02:05.840 our anniversary yesterday of when he initially reached out to me on my DMs, so that was two 21 00:02:05.840 --> 00:02:13.360 years ago yesterday, and we met and got married in December, met in December, and then nine 22 00:02:13.400 --> 00:02:22.720 months later got married, and whatnot, so hey Julia, this has happened a couple times each 23 00:02:22.720 --> 00:02:28.480 week where you come on and you're requesting to record the meeting, I'm not sure if there's 24 00:02:28.480 --> 00:02:34.880 something that you're hitting, but just so you're aware, we can't approve anyone to record the 25 00:02:34.880 --> 00:02:42.440 meetings, we personally record them and put them in replays, but it's out of safety and whatnot 26 00:02:42.440 --> 00:02:48.040 for all of our members, so I do decline it every week, I'm sure you know, but I don't know if 27 00:02:48.040 --> 00:02:54.120 there's something that you're pushing, so I am declining that request, okay, but just rest assured 28 00:02:54.120 --> 00:03:01.800 ladies, we do record this call, so and then usually my one o'clock's are what you'll see in replay, so 29 00:03:01.800 --> 00:03:08.120 if you happen to miss a Tuesday call, know that you can catch it in replay, we always have those 30 00:03:08.120 --> 00:03:15.960 posted, okay, so but yes, Brittany, welcome, and welcome to anybody else that is in phase two for the 31 00:03:15.960 --> 00:03:21.640 first week and is watching this replay, so I'm just going to go over a couple housekeeping items so 32 00:03:21.640 --> 00:03:27.560 you kind of know what to expect now that you're in phase two, Gabrielle, you're new as well, so 33 00:03:27.560 --> 00:03:34.680 welcome, so good to have you, so when you jump into phase two, you'll notice that we do have five videos, 34 00:03:34.680 --> 00:03:40.760 and so we encourage you to watch those videos just one a week, I know that they're good, and like you 35 00:03:40.760 --> 00:03:46.680 just want to get all the information, but do your best just to go and kind of pace yourself, like we 36 00:03:46.680 --> 00:03:53.000 even just tell you, pace yourself in dating, pace yourself with watching those videos, do one a week, 37 00:03:53.000 --> 00:03:59.880 and then as you watch those, hey Gabrielle, if you're able to, can you mute yourself, 38 00:04:00.840 --> 00:04:03.480 now I can try to figure out how to do this myself, 39 00:04:05.800 --> 00:04:07.400 which I don't know if I can, 40 00:04:11.080 --> 00:04:20.279 all right, thank you Gabrielle, so yeah, pace yourself with that, watch one video, sit with it, 41 00:04:20.279 --> 00:04:26.120 sit with Holy Spirit, pray on it, meditate on it, ask the Lord to reveal and highlight 42 00:04:26.920 --> 00:04:33.480 certain content in that video that he wants you to sit with, and then share it with us in our 43 00:04:33.480 --> 00:04:39.400 community, okay, let us know your takeaways, let us know what stuck out to you the most, was there 44 00:04:39.400 --> 00:04:43.080 something that scared you, was there something that you questioned, was there something that made 45 00:04:43.080 --> 00:04:47.000 you nervous, was there something that made you really excited, was there a breakthrough that 46 00:04:47.000 --> 00:04:53.880 happened, let us know what you're experiencing while you're watching those videos, okay, so 47 00:04:53.880 --> 00:04:59.640 one video a week, that's the main focus, then the next thing you need to make sure that 48 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:01.800 that you're doing in phase two is that you're coming 49 00:05:01.800 --> 00:05:03.440 to these live check-ins. 50 00:05:03.440 --> 00:05:05.900 So all of you that are with me right now, good job. 51 00:05:05.900 --> 00:05:07.540 You're coming to live check-in. 52 00:05:07.540 --> 00:05:10.620 If you're watching in replay, do your very best 53 00:05:10.620 --> 00:05:11.900 to come to these live check-ins. 54 00:05:11.900 --> 00:05:14.020 That's where a lot of breakthrough can happen. 55 00:05:14.020 --> 00:05:16.500 It's where as coaches can really pour into you 56 00:05:16.500 --> 00:05:18.060 a little more on a one-on-one level 57 00:05:18.060 --> 00:05:20.480 in a smaller group community. 58 00:05:21.340 --> 00:05:23.380 We have one at one o'clock, which is right now. 59 00:05:23.380 --> 00:05:26.500 And then we also have the seven o'clock, 60 00:05:26.500 --> 00:05:28.260 or I'm sorry, seven o'clock for me. 61 00:05:28.300 --> 00:05:30.260 It's eight o'clock Eastern for you all. 62 00:05:31.180 --> 00:05:33.300 I'm in central time, but that's the Eastern time. 63 00:05:33.300 --> 00:05:35.900 So one o'clock Eastern, eight o'clock Eastern. 64 00:05:35.900 --> 00:05:39.420 And Ebony, our awesome coach for the evening, 65 00:05:39.420 --> 00:05:41.180 she is there doing that one. 66 00:05:41.180 --> 00:05:43.400 And every now and then I pop in 67 00:05:43.400 --> 00:05:46.020 because I miss seeing all of your faces. 68 00:05:46.020 --> 00:05:48.860 So if I'm able to, I do like to come in 69 00:05:48.860 --> 00:05:52.360 and just kind of sit in the back and just watch, okay? 70 00:05:53.780 --> 00:05:55.480 But I have three kids, 71 00:05:55.480 --> 00:05:58.540 so it can get pretty hectic in the evenings. 72 00:05:58.540 --> 00:06:01.680 But so yeah, come to live check-ins 73 00:06:01.680 --> 00:06:03.840 and watch replays if you can. 74 00:06:03.840 --> 00:06:05.120 Also, when you're in phase two, 75 00:06:05.120 --> 00:06:07.960 continue to keep going to those prayer calls. 76 00:06:07.960 --> 00:06:09.240 They're always so good. 77 00:06:09.240 --> 00:06:11.500 It's really a way for you to connect 78 00:06:11.500 --> 00:06:15.320 and bond with the women and men in this community. 79 00:06:15.320 --> 00:06:18.360 Especially, I will even encourage y'all 80 00:06:18.360 --> 00:06:20.840 to check out those Supernatural Saturdays 81 00:06:20.840 --> 00:06:22.720 and Sunday night activations. 82 00:06:22.720 --> 00:06:25.000 Jackie is usually on Supernatural Saturday 83 00:06:25.520 --> 00:06:27.360 and she always brings a word that she is hearing 84 00:06:27.360 --> 00:06:29.280 and it's resonating with her. 85 00:06:29.280 --> 00:06:32.200 And it really does pour into this community. 86 00:06:33.680 --> 00:06:35.080 It's just always really timely. 87 00:06:35.080 --> 00:06:36.560 So I will definitely encourage you 88 00:06:36.560 --> 00:06:39.360 getting on those Supernatural Saturday calls. 89 00:06:39.360 --> 00:06:41.840 And those are ones that we'll record as well 90 00:06:41.840 --> 00:06:43.240 and put in replay. 91 00:06:43.240 --> 00:06:45.040 And then just so you're aware, 92 00:06:45.040 --> 00:06:47.480 you're only most, like for most people, 93 00:06:47.480 --> 00:06:49.540 we really just say you're gonna probably only be here 94 00:06:49.540 --> 00:06:53.200 about four or five weeks in phase two, okay? 95 00:06:53.200 --> 00:06:55.020 Now, if you need to take a little longer, 96 00:06:55.020 --> 00:06:56.320 that's totally fine. 97 00:06:57.200 --> 00:06:58.320 We say four to five weeks 98 00:06:58.320 --> 00:07:00.000 because if you really are on track 99 00:07:00.000 --> 00:07:02.380 with watching one video a week, 100 00:07:02.380 --> 00:07:05.540 coming to live, hopping on those prayer calls, 101 00:07:05.540 --> 00:07:07.980 sharing in our community app, 102 00:07:07.980 --> 00:07:09.560 after about four or five weeks, 103 00:07:09.560 --> 00:07:11.400 if you've done all of those things, 104 00:07:11.400 --> 00:07:15.400 you'll send an email to admin at askjackie, 105 00:07:15.400 --> 00:07:18.400 I'm sorry, admin at jackiedorman.com 106 00:07:18.400 --> 00:07:21.640 to request to move over to phase three. 107 00:07:21.640 --> 00:07:25.960 So four to five weeks, then you move to phase three. 108 00:07:25.960 --> 00:07:29.880 Now, again, if you, life happens, all right, we know. 109 00:07:29.880 --> 00:07:31.900 Sometimes there's some women in here, 110 00:07:31.900 --> 00:07:32.960 they get through the content 111 00:07:32.960 --> 00:07:35.200 and they just want another week or two 112 00:07:35.200 --> 00:07:37.960 of just getting more of that dating coaching going. 113 00:07:37.960 --> 00:07:41.840 So, or they're trying to like get out 114 00:07:41.840 --> 00:07:43.140 and date a little bit more. 115 00:07:43.140 --> 00:07:45.440 So they stick around just a couple extra weeks. 116 00:07:45.440 --> 00:07:46.520 We really try to encourage, 117 00:07:46.520 --> 00:07:49.080 don't stay in phase two more than 10 weeks 118 00:07:49.960 --> 00:07:52.760 because there is great things that happen in phase three 119 00:07:52.760 --> 00:07:55.360 and there is still a lot of great community there 120 00:07:55.360 --> 00:07:58.440 that happens as it does here in phase two. 121 00:07:58.440 --> 00:08:01.560 Okay, so again, that's just one way 122 00:08:01.560 --> 00:08:03.720 to make the most out of phase two. 123 00:08:03.720 --> 00:08:07.780 So show up, post things in the app, in the community, 124 00:08:07.780 --> 00:08:09.760 and it could be about all different things, okay? 125 00:08:09.760 --> 00:08:12.320 It can be about heartwork stuff, 126 00:08:12.320 --> 00:08:13.800 things that you're learning from the videos, 127 00:08:13.800 --> 00:08:14.960 like I stated before, 128 00:08:14.960 --> 00:08:18.160 like come and bring us what you took away from those videos. 129 00:08:18.160 --> 00:08:19.320 Maybe you wanna share something 130 00:08:19.320 --> 00:08:21.040 that God is doing in your life. 131 00:08:21.040 --> 00:08:24.360 It doesn't always have to involve dating. 132 00:08:24.360 --> 00:08:27.160 Maybe there's something that you wanna celebrate with us, 133 00:08:27.160 --> 00:08:28.060 share that. 134 00:08:28.060 --> 00:08:29.580 Maybe there's questions that you have, 135 00:08:29.580 --> 00:08:30.880 whether it's questions about dating, 136 00:08:30.880 --> 00:08:32.080 questions about the videos, 137 00:08:32.080 --> 00:08:33.880 questions about something that's going on in your life 138 00:08:33.880 --> 00:08:37.440 and you wanna know how to navigate that. 139 00:08:37.440 --> 00:08:41.360 Bring that with us, bring your prayer requests to us, okay? 140 00:08:41.360 --> 00:08:43.640 But the big thing that I will share 141 00:08:44.520 --> 00:08:46.860 that you need to make sure that you're coming in community 142 00:08:46.860 --> 00:08:50.140 and bringing in our app and letting us coaches know 143 00:08:50.140 --> 00:08:52.880 is your dating interactions with guys. 144 00:08:52.880 --> 00:08:55.860 What interactions are you having with guys, all right? 145 00:08:55.860 --> 00:08:58.500 This is where it allows us coaches 146 00:08:58.500 --> 00:09:00.940 to kind of help coach you through things. 147 00:09:00.940 --> 00:09:04.180 Especially if you're bringing this stuff to us early on, 148 00:09:04.180 --> 00:09:08.860 we can sometimes help steer you away from a crisis, okay? 149 00:09:08.860 --> 00:09:11.820 Because sometimes we can't get our own way, all right? 150 00:09:11.820 --> 00:09:14.740 I say that because I did it, all right? 151 00:09:14.740 --> 00:09:17.460 So I always came to this community 152 00:09:17.460 --> 00:09:20.220 when I was here and I was dating 153 00:09:20.220 --> 00:09:22.880 and it was super, super important. 154 00:09:24.100 --> 00:09:27.060 And so when things happened, 155 00:09:27.060 --> 00:09:31.160 I had my sisters to help me, okay? 156 00:09:31.160 --> 00:09:32.780 That was kind of before, 157 00:09:32.780 --> 00:09:36.380 it was much smaller when I joined in the beginning. 158 00:09:36.380 --> 00:09:38.600 So we really did just have Jackie. 159 00:09:38.600 --> 00:09:41.180 Now we've grown and we have a team of coaches, 160 00:09:41.180 --> 00:09:46.180 myself, Bethany, Ebony, several women in the apps as well. 161 00:09:46.180 --> 00:09:48.600 They're in there, so you might not see us on Zoom calls 162 00:09:48.600 --> 00:09:50.680 coaching you, but there are other women 163 00:09:50.680 --> 00:09:53.980 that we have on our team that are gonna help you navigate 164 00:09:53.980 --> 00:09:55.580 that season in your life, okay? 165 00:09:55.580 --> 00:09:58.060 So make sure that you come and share 166 00:09:58.060 --> 00:10:00.100 about your interactions, okay? 167 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:06.380 Another thing to do to make the most of this community is to build friendships and interact with your sisters here. 168 00:10:06.820 --> 00:10:13.700 Okay, so when women are posting in the all or the wins or the relationships milestones, 169 00:10:14.100 --> 00:10:16.340 don't hesitate to celebrate with them. 170 00:10:16.620 --> 00:10:20.420 All right, encourage them, lift them up, get to know them. 171 00:10:20.820 --> 00:10:21.500 All right, 172 00:10:21.500 --> 00:10:24.420 these will be, some of these women will be your friends for life. 173 00:10:24.700 --> 00:10:27.500 Some of these women will be even guests in your wedding, 174 00:10:27.840 --> 00:10:30.640 guests at your wedding, and maybe some of them will be in your wedding. 175 00:10:30.840 --> 00:10:32.840 All right, known fact, 176 00:10:32.840 --> 00:10:34.840 Bethany was one of my bridesmaids. 177 00:10:35.560 --> 00:10:40.160 She was one of my sisters in this community. Several of the women that I met 178 00:10:40.760 --> 00:10:45.680 in this community came to my wedding. One of the women actually is the one that 179 00:10:46.240 --> 00:10:49.240 kind of saw my husband in a group, 180 00:10:50.000 --> 00:10:54.880 you know, a singles Christian group, and she saw him and she's like, hey, what do you think about this guy? 181 00:10:54.980 --> 00:10:57.540 I'm going to let him know about you. I'm going to have him reach out to you. 182 00:10:57.780 --> 00:11:01.940 I hope it was okay that I gave him your information. I mean, she did get permission first. 183 00:11:01.940 --> 00:11:08.580 I was like, yeah, do whatever, like that's fine. And so if it wasn't for her, I might not have been, 184 00:11:09.380 --> 00:11:14.500 might not be where I'm at right now. So get to know your sisters, build friendships with them. 185 00:11:15.060 --> 00:11:21.780 The only thing that we do ask is if you're responding to women and your sisters here in this community in the app 186 00:11:22.360 --> 00:11:28.360 that you leave any of the posts that are in the ask a coach tab, 187 00:11:29.320 --> 00:11:31.800 leave those just for the coaches to respond to. 188 00:11:32.280 --> 00:11:38.600 So sometimes when you're looking in the app, when you're looking under all of the posts in the all section, 189 00:11:39.160 --> 00:11:45.320 click on it and make sure that it's also not in the ask a coach. So just be mindful of that. 190 00:11:46.300 --> 00:11:52.540 Another thing that you can be doing to make the most out of this community is to come out of hiding. 191 00:11:53.100 --> 00:11:58.300 So Brittany's doing an awesome job. She's on camera. She's coming out of hiding. That's one way of practicing. 192 00:11:58.940 --> 00:12:02.060 Emily, I'd love to see your face. You've come in a couple weeks before. 193 00:12:02.620 --> 00:12:05.980 You usually have that beautiful picture up, but I don't ever see your face in person. 194 00:12:06.540 --> 00:12:12.060 And Mariska, I do see you occasionally. So I know you come on video as well. 195 00:12:13.040 --> 00:12:21.040 And I did see Gabriella as well. So come on camera, show us your face, all right, come out of hiding. 196 00:12:21.600 --> 00:12:28.400 Not just here in our Zoom calls, but also in your community. So when you watch that 197 00:12:30.960 --> 00:12:35.120 the kickoff video, Jackie gives you that challenge to 198 00:12:35.920 --> 00:12:40.880 start sharing with your people that you're looking and open to dating, okay? 199 00:12:41.700 --> 00:12:46.020 Do you encourage sometimes going on social media if you have the courage to do that? 200 00:12:46.500 --> 00:12:49.380 I did that. It took me some time. I didn't do it right away. 201 00:12:49.860 --> 00:12:51.700 But I did that as well. 202 00:12:51.700 --> 00:12:55.700 And then just being open to dating in real life, you know, whether it's online 203 00:12:56.500 --> 00:13:04.100 or dating in real life, like with people connecting you, just open your heart up and see what God has for you, okay? 204 00:13:04.580 --> 00:13:08.100 We also give you that seven date challenge, which I am going to touch base 205 00:13:08.600 --> 00:13:12.200 on here in a little bit because I know a lot of women get super nervous 206 00:13:13.000 --> 00:13:16.600 when they say seven dates. Oh my goodness, I haven't dated in years. That was me. 207 00:13:17.880 --> 00:13:19.880 I haven't dated in like several years. 208 00:13:20.600 --> 00:13:24.040 And when I had that seven date challenge, I was like, there's just no way. 209 00:13:24.440 --> 00:13:29.640 There's no way as a single mom I was going to be able to do that. But I did, okay? 210 00:13:30.280 --> 00:13:32.600 So it just took me some time. All right. 211 00:13:33.580 --> 00:13:38.140 And then the last thing I want to cover in housekeeping is just things about our apps. 212 00:13:38.620 --> 00:13:40.620 Just make sure that you do a quick 213 00:13:41.580 --> 00:13:43.820 tour in our app if you haven't done so. 214 00:13:44.620 --> 00:13:47.100 So check out all the tabs that are available. 215 00:13:48.140 --> 00:13:55.900 You know, know where the training videos are, know where the replay is. There's an events page as well. 216 00:13:56.460 --> 00:13:59.420 That's going to let you know when we have live calls. 217 00:13:59.440 --> 00:14:02.720 It's going to give you the links to the Zoom call or the 218 00:14:03.360 --> 00:14:05.360 meeting number and password. 219 00:14:06.480 --> 00:14:09.840 So make sure that you know how to navigate that. 220 00:14:10.480 --> 00:14:11.520 Okay. 221 00:14:11.520 --> 00:14:15.040 If I will say if a coach replies to one of your 222 00:14:15.740 --> 00:14:17.740 posts, 223 00:14:17.920 --> 00:14:22.800 instead of replying back to your own post, reply to the coach 224 00:14:23.900 --> 00:14:27.920 underneath. Okay. So what I mean by that is you make a post, 225 00:14:28.420 --> 00:14:33.380 one of us coaches responds. It's kind of like a bullet point underneath your post. 226 00:14:34.100 --> 00:14:38.020 Then under where the coach responds, there is a 227 00:14:38.660 --> 00:14:39.860 little 228 00:14:39.860 --> 00:14:41.700 button that says reply. 229 00:14:41.700 --> 00:14:46.580 That's what you're going to click to reply to us. It's kind of very similar to what you would see in Facebook. 230 00:14:47.300 --> 00:14:50.180 But I've noticed sometimes, and I'm guilty of it too, 231 00:14:50.820 --> 00:14:52.980 where I will go in and respond 232 00:14:53.780 --> 00:14:55.780 to the original post 233 00:14:55.780 --> 00:14:59.960 instead of the person that I was commenting and it puts it all the way 234 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:01.120 at the top. 235 00:15:01.120 --> 00:15:05.300 And so the reason I say that is because if it's your post 236 00:15:05.300 --> 00:15:07.260 and I reply to it, 237 00:15:07.260 --> 00:15:11.300 and then I ask you a question, you reply to me, 238 00:15:11.300 --> 00:15:12.960 but you're replying to yourself, 239 00:15:12.960 --> 00:15:15.860 you get the notification, I don't. 240 00:15:15.860 --> 00:15:17.700 So then I'm having to go through and figure out, 241 00:15:17.700 --> 00:15:20.940 okay, who have I asked questions to? 242 00:15:20.940 --> 00:15:23.120 Who do I need to follow up to see if they come back 243 00:15:23.120 --> 00:15:24.700 and responded to me yet? 244 00:15:24.700 --> 00:15:29.140 And so sometimes that's when we might miss several days 245 00:15:29.180 --> 00:15:30.920 where we might not get back to you right away. 246 00:15:30.920 --> 00:15:34.680 So if you could just help us by reply specifically to us 247 00:15:34.680 --> 00:15:39.080 under your post, that would be great, okay? 248 00:15:39.080 --> 00:15:43.400 So let me just make sure I've covered everything. 249 00:15:43.400 --> 00:15:46.520 Again, just keep in mind when you're posting 250 00:15:46.520 --> 00:15:49.040 and creating a post that if it's specific, 251 00:15:49.040 --> 00:15:50.880 that you want a response from a coach, 252 00:15:50.880 --> 00:15:54.580 that you make sure that you have it as an ask the coach. 253 00:15:54.580 --> 00:15:57.940 Okay, so I think that's about it. 254 00:15:59.140 --> 00:16:01.960 Resource page, that's got lots of great information 255 00:16:01.960 --> 00:16:04.640 about our SpiritMate Match and our affiliate program. 256 00:16:04.640 --> 00:16:09.160 Just keep in mind, a lot of people sometimes 257 00:16:09.160 --> 00:16:11.080 will just send an abundance of emails, 258 00:16:11.080 --> 00:16:13.360 especially about like SpiritMate Match, 259 00:16:13.360 --> 00:16:17.040 and we're not gonna reply to those emails, okay? 260 00:16:17.040 --> 00:16:20.840 So, and the reason for that is because 261 00:16:21.720 --> 00:16:25.500 we will reach out to you in regards of SpiritMate Match. 262 00:16:26.920 --> 00:16:28.400 And same thing with affiliates. 263 00:16:28.420 --> 00:16:29.940 So all the information that you need 264 00:16:29.940 --> 00:16:31.860 is in that resource page. 265 00:16:31.860 --> 00:16:34.740 So a lot of those things can be navigated that way, 266 00:16:34.740 --> 00:16:38.740 or you can simply ask us some questions in our app, okay? 267 00:16:38.740 --> 00:16:41.700 But let's try to refrain from sending 268 00:16:41.700 --> 00:16:43.980 an abundance of emails. 269 00:16:43.980 --> 00:16:46.700 Email is good if you're in phase two and finished 270 00:16:46.700 --> 00:16:49.100 and you need to move phase three, okay? 271 00:16:49.100 --> 00:16:52.860 Or if there was a single spotlight that you saw 272 00:16:52.860 --> 00:16:54.660 and you were interested in one of the single spotlights 273 00:16:54.660 --> 00:16:56.460 or you know somebody from a single spotlight, 274 00:16:56.460 --> 00:17:00.560 then obviously we've encouraged you to email, okay? 275 00:17:02.760 --> 00:17:05.160 Yeah, no worries, no worries, Mariska. 276 00:17:05.160 --> 00:17:07.240 Totally, totally get it. 277 00:17:07.240 --> 00:17:09.000 Thank you for letting us know. 278 00:17:09.000 --> 00:17:14.000 All right, so I think I'm good with housekeeping items. 279 00:17:14.000 --> 00:17:16.680 Before we do that, I'm going to, 280 00:17:16.680 --> 00:17:21.680 so if you happen to be on last week's call, 281 00:17:22.760 --> 00:17:24.359 but the eight o'clock one, 282 00:17:25.339 --> 00:17:28.460 Bethany gave y'all an activation. 283 00:17:28.460 --> 00:17:31.580 So I'm aware that some of my ladies at the one o'clock call 284 00:17:31.580 --> 00:17:34.060 wouldn't have heard this activation. 285 00:17:34.060 --> 00:17:37.660 So I'm going to actually give you your activation 286 00:17:37.660 --> 00:17:41.580 for next week right now, okay? 287 00:17:41.580 --> 00:17:46.060 So the next time that you come to a live check-in, 288 00:17:46.060 --> 00:17:47.660 so whether it's eight o'clock tonight 289 00:17:47.660 --> 00:17:49.980 or next week at one or eight, 290 00:17:49.980 --> 00:17:53.780 I want you to come dressed and ready 291 00:17:53.800 --> 00:17:58.800 as if you're going on a date, okay? 292 00:17:58.920 --> 00:18:02.160 Whether it's a Zoom date or an in-person date. 293 00:18:02.160 --> 00:18:04.920 So many of you that have been on here with me before 294 00:18:04.920 --> 00:18:08.400 know that I'm not typically like this done up, okay? 295 00:18:08.400 --> 00:18:11.240 So this is what we did early on 296 00:18:11.240 --> 00:18:14.040 when I was in the community with, 297 00:18:14.880 --> 00:18:18.240 it was really early on, we did kind of a whole session 298 00:18:18.240 --> 00:18:22.040 about how to be presentable 299 00:18:22.040 --> 00:18:24.140 when we're doing these video Zoom calls. 300 00:18:24.140 --> 00:18:26.780 So remember, I joined in like 2020, 301 00:18:26.780 --> 00:18:29.980 so it was kind of like lots of things are on Zoom, 302 00:18:31.320 --> 00:18:33.900 but this is great because sometimes when you might, 303 00:18:33.900 --> 00:18:36.180 if you're open to long distance dating, 304 00:18:36.180 --> 00:18:38.680 you're going to need to do more Zoom calls. 305 00:18:38.680 --> 00:18:41.700 We encourage you ladies to do video chat, 306 00:18:41.700 --> 00:18:45.100 oftentimes when you're just meeting people and exchanging. 307 00:18:45.100 --> 00:18:48.300 So we want to like looking presentable. 308 00:18:48.300 --> 00:18:49.700 Because sometimes what happens 309 00:18:49.720 --> 00:18:52.320 is that we're just kind of relaxed in our own home, 310 00:18:52.320 --> 00:18:54.360 in our own house, in our own surrounding, 311 00:18:54.360 --> 00:18:55.800 and we're on a video. 312 00:18:55.800 --> 00:18:59.200 And so we might not present ourselves. 313 00:18:59.200 --> 00:19:01.680 So this was something that we did early on. 314 00:19:02.640 --> 00:19:05.000 Jackie put us on a session, 315 00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:06.960 she had us all come dressed and ready, 316 00:19:06.960 --> 00:19:09.040 and she gave us all these tips and pointers. 317 00:19:09.040 --> 00:19:12.560 She told us, yeah, that's a great color shirt on you, 318 00:19:12.560 --> 00:19:13.840 your hair looks nice. 319 00:19:13.840 --> 00:19:16.040 Hey, you need to add a little bit more lipstick 320 00:19:16.040 --> 00:19:18.920 to your thing, your lighting is off. 321 00:19:18.940 --> 00:19:23.940 So if you come to next, your next Zoom call, 322 00:19:24.940 --> 00:19:28.540 like we can be here to help you kind of navigate that. 323 00:19:28.540 --> 00:19:32.980 So if you see with me, okay, I have my hair done. 324 00:19:32.980 --> 00:19:35.500 All right, men like when women have their hair done. 325 00:19:35.500 --> 00:19:40.500 All right, I have, I'm big on statement earrings. 326 00:19:40.900 --> 00:19:43.180 Now I'm not saying that you have to, 327 00:19:43.180 --> 00:19:44.820 this is just a big thing for me. 328 00:19:44.820 --> 00:19:47.920 I would put on like some big earrings 329 00:19:47.940 --> 00:19:49.660 and then some makeup. 330 00:19:49.660 --> 00:19:52.460 Now, what I will say is I don't typically wear 331 00:19:52.460 --> 00:19:55.420 like this deep of a color for my lipstick. 332 00:19:55.420 --> 00:19:57.580 If I was going out on a live date, 333 00:19:57.580 --> 00:19:59.620 I probably would make this a little more subtle 334 00:19:59.620 --> 00:20:00.460 unless I'm. 335 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:02.640 going out, like, out on a really nice date, 336 00:20:02.640 --> 00:20:03.880 like with my husband, okay? 337 00:20:03.880 --> 00:20:06.800 Like, once I've been in a relationship for a little while, 338 00:20:06.800 --> 00:20:09.760 maybe it's a level three exclusive relationship, 339 00:20:09.760 --> 00:20:12.960 I might add a little bit more of a pop of color. 340 00:20:12.960 --> 00:20:14.600 Now, on your beginning date, 341 00:20:14.600 --> 00:20:16.260 you're probably doing more casual stuff, 342 00:20:16.260 --> 00:20:18.880 so I wouldn't go full glam, okay? 343 00:20:18.880 --> 00:20:20.400 So I try not to do that tonight. 344 00:20:20.400 --> 00:20:22.280 I just did my eyebrow pencil, 345 00:20:22.280 --> 00:20:25.440 my, I just put mascara on. 346 00:20:25.440 --> 00:20:29.320 In the past, I will do fake lashes at times, 347 00:20:29.320 --> 00:20:31.520 and then, like, today, I put the bright lip on 348 00:20:31.520 --> 00:20:33.200 because I'm on a video call, all right? 349 00:20:33.200 --> 00:20:35.320 And it's a little hard to see when we're on video. 350 00:20:35.320 --> 00:20:37.720 Another thing is having lighting 351 00:20:37.720 --> 00:20:41.080 on the other side of you facing you is good. 352 00:20:41.080 --> 00:20:43.760 I have natural light here because I'm in my living room, 353 00:20:43.760 --> 00:20:46.400 and so my windows are over there, 354 00:20:46.400 --> 00:20:48.160 so I have natural light shining on me. 355 00:20:48.160 --> 00:20:52.360 So if that's possible, definitely do that, okay? 356 00:20:52.360 --> 00:20:53.480 If you're doing in the evening, 357 00:20:53.480 --> 00:20:54.640 sometimes it's a little harder, 358 00:20:54.640 --> 00:20:59.040 but make sure that there's a good lighting behind you. 359 00:20:59.800 --> 00:21:02.080 Gabriella, I loved how she kind of, she has her glasses. 360 00:21:02.080 --> 00:21:03.600 She just took them off for a moment. 361 00:21:03.600 --> 00:21:06.960 So fun fact is I typically wear glasses, 362 00:21:06.960 --> 00:21:09.880 but when I come on video calls, 363 00:21:09.880 --> 00:21:11.720 see, now, yours don't do it so much. 364 00:21:11.720 --> 00:21:14.280 Mine glare really bad. 365 00:21:14.280 --> 00:21:17.280 So that can be really distracting when you're on a date. 366 00:21:17.280 --> 00:21:20.320 So sometimes, if you have contacts, put some contacts in. 367 00:21:20.320 --> 00:21:22.280 Like, I always wear contacts for the call 368 00:21:22.280 --> 00:21:26.560 so y'all don't have to see my glaring glasses all the time. 369 00:21:26.600 --> 00:21:30.360 So, but yeah, with the blue lighting coating, 370 00:21:30.360 --> 00:21:31.880 so that's a possibility. 371 00:21:31.880 --> 00:21:32.720 I don't have those. 372 00:21:32.720 --> 00:21:35.280 I just have some cheap prescription glasses, 373 00:21:35.280 --> 00:21:37.160 so they just glare super bad. 374 00:21:37.160 --> 00:21:41.240 So I always wear contacts if I'm doing a video call 375 00:21:41.240 --> 00:21:42.680 so that there's no glare. 376 00:21:42.680 --> 00:21:44.800 So those are just some tips and pointers. 377 00:21:44.800 --> 00:21:49.200 So we wanna see how you're going to present yourself 378 00:21:49.200 --> 00:21:52.880 on a date, on a video call, okay? 379 00:21:52.880 --> 00:21:54.880 So this is great, 380 00:21:54.880 --> 00:21:57.040 because when I did it, 381 00:21:57.040 --> 00:22:00.560 then it was like I also had this expectation 382 00:22:00.560 --> 00:22:02.240 that the guys were getting the same coaching, 383 00:22:02.240 --> 00:22:03.440 and they didn't. 384 00:22:03.440 --> 00:22:05.600 Ladies, I will tell you, after I got this coaching 385 00:22:05.600 --> 00:22:08.400 and then I'd go on video dates with guys, 386 00:22:08.400 --> 00:22:10.560 they'd be moving around a bunch 387 00:22:10.560 --> 00:22:14.760 and I'm getting dizzy and nauseous. 388 00:22:14.760 --> 00:22:17.240 So find somewhere to sit. 389 00:22:17.240 --> 00:22:19.960 Now, I'm wearing a bright blue color. 390 00:22:20.800 --> 00:22:23.800 So pop of color, something like a nice blouse. 391 00:22:23.800 --> 00:22:25.360 Now, what I wouldn't probably do 392 00:22:25.360 --> 00:22:27.320 is I probably wouldn't sit in the blue chair. 393 00:22:27.320 --> 00:22:29.760 And then I have the shorts for my hair. 394 00:22:31.080 --> 00:22:32.680 I probably, if I was gonna wear blue, 395 00:22:32.680 --> 00:22:34.200 I probably wouldn't sit in this blue chair, 396 00:22:34.200 --> 00:22:36.520 but I always have something like a nice background. 397 00:22:36.520 --> 00:22:39.280 Like when I was single and living in my own condo, 398 00:22:39.280 --> 00:22:43.920 like I had a whole setup on the wall of where I, 399 00:22:43.920 --> 00:22:45.480 because I would do it in my dining room, 400 00:22:45.480 --> 00:22:48.800 and so I had everything on my dining room wall. 401 00:22:49.160 --> 00:22:50.880 And so I had it set up really nice. 402 00:22:50.880 --> 00:22:54.640 Like this is just kind of impromptu in my living room. 403 00:22:54.640 --> 00:22:57.800 So it's kind of like not centered well, but I did that. 404 00:22:57.800 --> 00:23:00.760 One thing I also brought today is like things 405 00:23:00.760 --> 00:23:02.960 that I had on the back of my wall. 406 00:23:13.960 --> 00:23:16.000 It says, and if not, he is still good. 407 00:23:16.000 --> 00:23:17.440 It's Daniel 3, 18. 408 00:23:17.440 --> 00:23:19.760 I had that on my wall. 409 00:23:19.760 --> 00:23:23.320 When I was on Zoom calls, I'd have this one. 410 00:23:23.320 --> 00:23:24.880 Serve one another in love. 411 00:23:24.880 --> 00:23:26.200 That's Galatians 5, 13. 412 00:23:26.200 --> 00:23:29.280 So I had, like, this is just how I decorate my house 413 00:23:29.280 --> 00:23:30.280 in general. 414 00:23:30.280 --> 00:23:32.440 So those were things that were in the back 415 00:23:32.440 --> 00:23:34.320 on the wall for me. 416 00:23:34.320 --> 00:23:38.080 So again, I was subtly letting men know, 417 00:23:38.080 --> 00:23:42.880 like, you know, scripture, Jesus was important to me. 418 00:23:42.920 --> 00:23:46.120 And obviously, I would put that on my online profile, 419 00:23:46.120 --> 00:23:49.480 but I also wouldn't feel like then I'd have to, like, 420 00:23:49.480 --> 00:23:53.040 quiz them or interrogate them or really, like, 421 00:23:53.040 --> 00:23:56.920 make it known that I was a Jesus-loving girl, all right? 422 00:23:56.920 --> 00:23:58.760 So there was subtle things. 423 00:24:02.600 --> 00:24:04.520 Was back there, like, follow your arrow. 424 00:24:04.520 --> 00:24:07.120 Like, I just, all these, like, little, like, 425 00:24:07.120 --> 00:24:09.680 home goods things that I would find to decorate my house. 426 00:24:09.680 --> 00:24:12.280 So those were on shelves and things like, 427 00:24:13.360 --> 00:24:16.360 you know, sometimes those can be great conversation starters. 428 00:24:16.360 --> 00:24:17.800 Like, I have another one here. 429 00:24:17.800 --> 00:24:19.880 This one wasn't, I didn't ever have that behind me, 430 00:24:19.880 --> 00:24:23.080 but let your faith be bigger than your fear. 431 00:24:23.080 --> 00:24:24.480 Like, you never know. 432 00:24:24.480 --> 00:24:27.280 A guy might see that, especially if someone's like, 433 00:24:27.280 --> 00:24:29.200 you know, man is a believer. 434 00:24:29.200 --> 00:24:32.120 He might see that and he might, 435 00:24:32.120 --> 00:24:34.240 at that point, then he may feel comfortable 436 00:24:34.240 --> 00:24:37.320 to open the door to have that conversation, okay? 437 00:24:37.320 --> 00:24:39.960 So it's just little subtle things that you can do, 438 00:24:39.960 --> 00:24:41.160 all right? 439 00:24:41.160 --> 00:24:45.080 So next week when you come, what are y'all gonna do? 440 00:24:45.080 --> 00:24:46.040 Put it in the chat. 441 00:24:46.040 --> 00:24:47.520 Let me know what you're gonna do. 442 00:24:47.520 --> 00:24:49.200 How are we gonna activate you? 443 00:24:51.240 --> 00:24:53.040 Oh, thank you, Mariska. 444 00:24:53.040 --> 00:24:54.120 I appreciate it. 445 00:24:54.120 --> 00:24:55.560 My kids are, I'm gonna go pick up my kids 446 00:24:55.560 --> 00:24:56.640 from school today and they're gonna be like, 447 00:24:56.640 --> 00:24:57.840 mom, where are you going? 448 00:24:58.000 --> 00:24:58.840 I'm gonna go pick up my kids from school today 449 00:24:58.840 --> 00:24:59.840 and they're gonna be like, mom, where are you going? 450 00:25:01.000 --> 00:25:04.040 Yes, dress up as if you have a date. 451 00:25:04.040 --> 00:25:05.840 That's nice, perfect, awesome. 452 00:25:05.840 --> 00:25:07.320 So that's your activation for next week. 453 00:25:07.320 --> 00:25:09.160 So I'm giving it to you early. 454 00:25:09.160 --> 00:25:10.900 So then that kind of puts us into 455 00:25:10.900 --> 00:25:13.220 what I want to talk to y'all about today. 456 00:25:15.280 --> 00:25:18.520 We do a little bit of coaching each week 457 00:25:18.520 --> 00:25:21.320 based on the videos that's in your content. 458 00:25:21.320 --> 00:25:23.800 So last week we did Dating 101. 459 00:25:23.800 --> 00:25:26.200 This week is The Divine Feminine. 460 00:25:26.200 --> 00:25:29.480 This video is my favorite video. 461 00:25:29.560 --> 00:25:31.280 Like I absolutely love this video. 462 00:25:31.280 --> 00:25:33.320 I could probably watch it on replay 463 00:25:33.320 --> 00:25:36.100 like once a month, if not more. 464 00:25:36.100 --> 00:25:38.560 So one thing that I really love about this video 465 00:25:38.560 --> 00:25:40.880 if you haven't watched it already 466 00:25:40.880 --> 00:25:45.680 is Jackie does such a phenomenal way 467 00:25:45.680 --> 00:25:48.520 of teaching what The Divine Feminine is 468 00:25:48.520 --> 00:25:50.380 but also what it isn't. 469 00:25:50.380 --> 00:25:54.220 And also allowing us to see the perspective 470 00:25:54.220 --> 00:25:59.160 of looking at The Divine Feminine before the curse. 471 00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:02.840 We're living in a world after the curse 472 00:26:02.840 --> 00:26:06.280 and so a lot of times our view and perception 473 00:26:06.280 --> 00:26:09.200 of what is feminine and what is masculine 474 00:26:09.200 --> 00:26:13.280 is through the eyes of sin and destruction 475 00:26:13.280 --> 00:26:17.480 and things that are gunk, right? 476 00:26:17.480 --> 00:26:21.320 But it is really that reminder of God's intent 477 00:26:21.320 --> 00:26:24.660 for The Divine Feminine and even the masculine 478 00:26:24.660 --> 00:26:29.340 and stepping into that, looking at that 479 00:26:29.340 --> 00:26:34.340 and letting our innate Divine Feminine come out daily. 480 00:26:35.820 --> 00:26:39.780 Okay, so some of those things. 481 00:26:39.780 --> 00:26:43.220 I want you ladies, I want some of your feedback here. 482 00:26:43.220 --> 00:26:45.500 Some of you might have watched The Divine Feminine already 483 00:26:45.500 --> 00:26:47.540 so you probably know some of these. 484 00:26:47.540 --> 00:26:49.860 Some of you might not, which is fine 485 00:26:49.860 --> 00:26:53.180 but I wanna get everybody's thoughts 486 00:26:53.180 --> 00:26:56.900 on what they believe The Divine Feminine looks like. 487 00:26:57.940 --> 00:27:00.660 What does that mean, Divine Feminine? 488 00:27:00.660 --> 00:27:02.220 What are some characteristics, 489 00:27:02.220 --> 00:27:04.280 some traits of The Divine Feminine? 490 00:27:05.900 --> 00:27:07.740 So go ahead and put that in the chat. 491 00:27:13.900 --> 00:27:15.660 Judy, that's totally fine 492 00:27:15.660 --> 00:27:17.860 if you can come to the one o'clock, perfect. 493 00:27:24.140 --> 00:27:25.300 Okay, being a mother. 494 00:27:28.820 --> 00:27:32.100 There are a lot of mothering characteristics, 495 00:27:32.100 --> 00:27:34.380 believe it or not, about The Divine Feminine 496 00:27:34.380 --> 00:27:36.260 but what I wanna be careful 497 00:27:37.340 --> 00:27:41.860 is just because you don't have children 498 00:27:41.860 --> 00:27:43.980 doesn't mean that you're not feminine 499 00:27:45.380 --> 00:27:46.780 because I know there's some women out there 500 00:27:46.780 --> 00:27:48.140 that might see that and think, 501 00:27:48.140 --> 00:27:50.340 well, then if I can't have children 502 00:27:50.380 --> 00:27:54.660 or I miss the boat on getting married and having children, 503 00:27:54.660 --> 00:27:56.260 it doesn't necessarily mean that. 504 00:27:56.260 --> 00:27:57.860 That doesn't mean that you're feminine 505 00:27:57.860 --> 00:28:01.540 but there are mothering qualities and characteristics 506 00:28:01.540 --> 00:28:03.420 like being a helper to the family. 507 00:28:03.420 --> 00:28:04.940 So just being a helper, 508 00:28:04.940 --> 00:28:08.780 being someone who's nurturing and comforting, 509 00:28:08.780 --> 00:28:13.780 someone who is, yeah, just encouraging 510 00:28:14.100 --> 00:28:17.500 and uplifting, right? 511 00:28:17.500 --> 00:28:19.940 So those are things that you're willing to be a helper. 512 00:28:20.900 --> 00:28:23.060 Jackie does some teaching on this as well 513 00:28:23.060 --> 00:28:24.900 and I believe it's in The Divine Feminine 514 00:28:24.900 --> 00:28:29.900 that The Divine Feminine is referred to as the easer, 515 00:28:30.180 --> 00:28:35.180 all right, the helpmate of the masculine, right? 516 00:28:36.300 --> 00:28:38.900 So it's a partnering even. 517 00:28:40.300 --> 00:28:43.860 Kindness, supportive, peaceful, absolutely. 518 00:28:43.860 --> 00:28:46.260 Those are good, Brittany, that's good. 519 00:28:46.260 --> 00:28:47.540 Yeah, having a kindness. 520 00:28:47.540 --> 00:28:51.300 I also like, you know, if you're meek, right? 521 00:28:51.300 --> 00:28:54.060 There's a vulnerability, there's a softness. 522 00:28:54.940 --> 00:28:56.980 You bring that peace, shalom. 523 00:28:58.900 --> 00:29:00.820 All right, so we don't have, 524 00:29:00.820 --> 00:29:04.180 like we can step into our Divine Feminine 525 00:29:04.180 --> 00:29:07.340 every single day, okay? 526 00:29:07.340 --> 00:29:08.740 And so I wanna kind of talk about 527 00:29:08.740 --> 00:29:11.940 what that might look like, all right? 528 00:29:11.940 --> 00:29:13.300 Another one of the characteristics 529 00:29:13.300 --> 00:29:14.780 that I don't think anybody touched on 530 00:29:14.780 --> 00:29:16.580 and I wanna make sure that I do touch on it 531 00:29:16.580 --> 00:29:20.780 is being wise and intuitive, okay? 532 00:29:20.780 --> 00:29:23.180 Women bring such an intuition, 533 00:29:23.180 --> 00:29:24.660 like have you ever heard of a, 534 00:29:24.660 --> 00:29:28.100 like heard the saying, a woman's intuition? 535 00:29:29.460 --> 00:29:30.460 Like it's a good thing. 536 00:29:30.460 --> 00:29:32.540 Now, it doesn't come out of suspicion 537 00:29:32.540 --> 00:29:34.860 and fear and deception. 538 00:29:34.860 --> 00:29:37.420 It's really just a knowing and a peace 539 00:29:37.420 --> 00:29:40.020 and an understanding and the wisdom, 540 00:29:40.020 --> 00:29:41.780 especially when we're aligning with God 541 00:29:41.780 --> 00:29:44.780 and we're choosing to be God-defended. 542 00:29:44.780 --> 00:29:47.100 We can partner with God 543 00:29:47.100 --> 00:29:49.260 in our Divine Feminine in that way. 544 00:29:49.260 --> 00:29:51.340 So what that might look like in everyday life. 545 00:29:51.340 --> 00:29:54.100 So I'm trying to talk about maybe just practical, 546 00:29:54.100 --> 00:29:56.300 what it looks like, what it doesn't look like. 547 00:29:56.300 --> 00:30:00.020 So being Divine Feminine is being encouraging. 548 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.680 lifting people up, not being negative, 549 00:30:04.680 --> 00:30:07.100 not being critical and harsh on people, 550 00:30:07.100 --> 00:30:10.720 but just truly seeing goodness in 551 00:30:10.720 --> 00:30:15.640 people and lifting that up and pouring into that. 552 00:30:15.640 --> 00:30:18.680 Now, that doesn't mean that we're doing 553 00:30:18.680 --> 00:30:22.120 things for people that they can't do themselves. 554 00:30:22.120 --> 00:30:26.440 We're also not doing this from a people-pleasing standpoint, 555 00:30:26.440 --> 00:30:28.560 because we want to be liked, 556 00:30:28.560 --> 00:30:30.560 so I'm going to be nice and I'm going to be encouraging, 557 00:30:30.560 --> 00:30:31.720 I'm going to lift people up because I 558 00:30:31.720 --> 00:30:33.520 just want people to like me. 559 00:30:33.520 --> 00:30:37.240 We go into what people-pleasing 560 00:30:37.240 --> 00:30:40.360 can be when we talk about boundaries. 561 00:30:40.360 --> 00:30:42.880 That's not what that is because typically 562 00:30:42.880 --> 00:30:46.840 that people-pleasing is a control thing. 563 00:30:46.840 --> 00:30:48.440 It's a manipulation thing 564 00:30:48.440 --> 00:30:50.480 sometimes is when we're trying to be people-pleasers, 565 00:30:50.480 --> 00:30:52.240 but that's not the divine feminine. 566 00:30:52.240 --> 00:30:56.520 The divine feminine is really just seeing goodness in 567 00:30:56.520 --> 00:30:58.960 someone and being able to water 568 00:30:58.960 --> 00:31:03.200 that and let people draw that out of them on themselves. 569 00:31:03.560 --> 00:31:05.920 It's also just pressing into 570 00:31:05.920 --> 00:31:09.720 Holy Spirit and walking in wisdom and confidence. 571 00:31:09.720 --> 00:31:12.880 We can practice that every day. 572 00:31:12.880 --> 00:31:15.720 It's not approaching situations or 573 00:31:15.720 --> 00:31:18.200 relationships out of judgment or suspicion, 574 00:31:18.200 --> 00:31:21.480 or using that manipulation like I was just talking about. 575 00:31:21.480 --> 00:31:24.000 It is truly about being God-defended. 576 00:31:24.000 --> 00:31:26.360 When we're pressing into Holy Spirit, 577 00:31:26.360 --> 00:31:28.920 and we're asking and seeking wisdom, 578 00:31:28.920 --> 00:31:31.920 we can come from a peaceful approach. 579 00:31:31.920 --> 00:31:34.320 Again, that's all that divine feminine. 580 00:31:34.320 --> 00:31:36.360 It also is just gentle, 581 00:31:36.360 --> 00:31:38.480 it's soft, it's vulnerable. 582 00:31:38.480 --> 00:31:42.120 It's not rigid, it's not cold. 583 00:31:43.400 --> 00:31:47.200 This is just a little introduction of 584 00:31:47.200 --> 00:31:50.400 what we can do to step into that divine feminine. 585 00:31:50.400 --> 00:31:53.000 Because again, in a couple of weeks, 586 00:31:53.000 --> 00:31:56.440 we'll talk about boundaries because we want to make 587 00:31:56.440 --> 00:31:59.560 sure that we are stepping in our divine feminine 588 00:31:59.560 --> 00:32:03.560 in relationships at the appropriate time, 589 00:32:03.560 --> 00:32:05.480 like how it looks like depending 590 00:32:05.480 --> 00:32:08.760 on the level of relationship that we're in. 591 00:32:10.720 --> 00:32:13.720 Another couple of things that I want to talk a little bit more 592 00:32:13.720 --> 00:32:15.920 about divine feminine before I move on 593 00:32:15.920 --> 00:32:19.800 is one thing that Jackie mentioned in the video, 594 00:32:19.800 --> 00:32:21.520 and it really stuck out to me, 595 00:32:21.560 --> 00:32:24.520 and it always continues to stick out to me, 596 00:32:24.520 --> 00:32:27.080 is the divine feminine, 597 00:32:27.080 --> 00:32:28.800 like putting it into practice is really, 598 00:32:28.800 --> 00:32:33.360 truly valuing yourself because you are a gift. 599 00:32:34.480 --> 00:32:37.320 And it's also remembering that men are gifts too. 600 00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:44.560 Men and women are made in the divine image of God. 601 00:32:45.560 --> 00:32:47.520 It's the coming of together 602 00:32:47.520 --> 00:32:51.320 that gives us the full image of God. 603 00:32:52.120 --> 00:32:55.720 So believe it or not, like if you're divine feminine, 604 00:32:55.720 --> 00:32:58.200 you're a piece, an image of God, 605 00:32:58.200 --> 00:33:01.080 and God is good, and God is a gift. 606 00:33:02.440 --> 00:33:05.360 Oh, I just got Holy Spirit chills on that one. 607 00:33:05.360 --> 00:33:08.720 But it's also remembering that before feminine, 608 00:33:08.720 --> 00:33:11.640 God made Adam in full, complete image, 609 00:33:11.640 --> 00:33:14.560 but then realized it wasn't good. 610 00:33:14.560 --> 00:33:18.920 And he pulled from Adam out the feminine. 611 00:33:18.920 --> 00:33:20.560 So believe it or not, 612 00:33:20.560 --> 00:33:22.800 God pulled out some good parts of the feminine, 613 00:33:22.800 --> 00:33:25.080 but there was still good in man. 614 00:33:27.000 --> 00:33:29.800 And I know that sometimes it's hard to hear, 615 00:33:29.800 --> 00:33:32.320 especially when we've been wounded by men. 616 00:33:33.480 --> 00:33:35.440 It's hard to hear sometimes even with the feminine 617 00:33:35.440 --> 00:33:38.000 because we've been wounded by women too. 618 00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:44.920 But just remember, value yourself and value men 619 00:33:44.920 --> 00:33:46.800 because we're all gifts. 620 00:33:46.800 --> 00:33:49.520 We all have unique things about us. 621 00:33:49.520 --> 00:33:51.440 And men and women, when they come together, 622 00:33:51.440 --> 00:33:52.680 can accomplish great things. 623 00:33:52.680 --> 00:33:55.280 That's why marriage is so good 624 00:33:57.200 --> 00:33:58.600 because it's a coming together. 625 00:33:58.600 --> 00:34:03.600 It's the shaping and molding of just, it's just good. 626 00:34:03.640 --> 00:34:05.320 And it's also a reminder to me 627 00:34:05.320 --> 00:34:07.520 why the enemy doesn't like it. 628 00:34:07.520 --> 00:34:09.719 And that's why a lot of times what will happen 629 00:34:09.719 --> 00:34:11.120 is that the enemy will wanna come 630 00:34:11.120 --> 00:34:15.400 and attack any desire in your heart to get married 631 00:34:15.400 --> 00:34:18.080 because the last thing he's gonna want you to do 632 00:34:18.080 --> 00:34:19.159 is to do that. 633 00:34:20.159 --> 00:34:21.719 And he most certainly doesn't want you 634 00:34:21.719 --> 00:34:24.639 to be connected to that masculine, divine masculine man 635 00:34:24.639 --> 00:34:26.600 that God has for you 636 00:34:26.600 --> 00:34:31.320 because that means it's competition for, 637 00:34:31.320 --> 00:34:33.560 not even competition, because there is no competition. 638 00:34:33.560 --> 00:34:36.159 Let's just get that straight, right? 639 00:34:36.159 --> 00:34:37.840 Enemy does not like it 640 00:34:37.840 --> 00:34:42.400 when God's sons and daughters come together, all right? 641 00:34:42.400 --> 00:34:45.000 But just remembering that we're all gifts. 642 00:34:45.000 --> 00:34:48.400 And so if we can practice just remembering 643 00:34:48.400 --> 00:34:50.880 that I'm a gift, I'm gonna value myself. 644 00:34:50.880 --> 00:34:52.440 I'm gonna be kind to myself. 645 00:34:52.440 --> 00:34:54.239 I'm gonna be good to myself. 646 00:34:54.239 --> 00:34:56.520 I'm gonna show up good on the outside, 647 00:34:56.520 --> 00:34:59.560 but I'm also gonna work on my inside and be good, all right? 648 00:34:59.560 --> 00:35:00.400 Because those. 649 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.720 that stuff is in there, all right? 650 00:35:02.720 --> 00:35:04.680 And same thing with men, when we're interacting with men, 651 00:35:04.680 --> 00:35:06.880 because ladies, I will tell you, 652 00:35:06.880 --> 00:35:09.680 when you start dating, if you haven't done so already, 653 00:35:09.680 --> 00:35:14.360 you gotta find some just wounded men out there, all right? 654 00:35:15.600 --> 00:35:17.040 There just are, okay? 655 00:35:17.040 --> 00:35:19.480 When I was dating, there was just some things 656 00:35:19.480 --> 00:35:20.640 that I'm like, man, dude, 657 00:35:20.640 --> 00:35:22.600 why do you have to be like a creeper? 658 00:35:24.160 --> 00:35:25.720 All right, but at the end of the day, 659 00:35:25.720 --> 00:35:29.000 it's again, like, as long as we remember, 660 00:35:29.000 --> 00:35:31.240 it's not them that we're fighting, 661 00:35:31.240 --> 00:35:34.200 it's just, you know what, that guy's not for me 662 00:35:34.200 --> 00:35:36.480 and it's fine, I can move on, 663 00:35:36.480 --> 00:35:38.640 and just, that's when we call bless and block, 664 00:35:38.640 --> 00:35:40.160 all right, ladies? 665 00:35:40.160 --> 00:35:43.520 So that's just, again, I just wanna emphasize, 666 00:35:43.520 --> 00:35:46.760 like, putting that feminine into practice 667 00:35:46.760 --> 00:35:49.880 is really by linking the alignment, 668 00:35:49.880 --> 00:35:53.240 like, really truly believing that you are a gift, all right? 669 00:35:55.040 --> 00:35:56.560 Another thing that we can practically do, 670 00:35:56.560 --> 00:35:58.960 and this is why I'm also having you ladies show up, 671 00:35:59.800 --> 00:36:00.720 like, dressed, ready to go, 672 00:36:00.720 --> 00:36:03.120 is, you know, look, look, 673 00:36:03.120 --> 00:36:07.240 take the, value yourself on the outside, all right? 674 00:36:07.240 --> 00:36:09.640 Wear some dresses, wear some bright colored clothes, 675 00:36:09.640 --> 00:36:12.800 do your hair, do some makeup, wear some jewelry, 676 00:36:12.800 --> 00:36:16.040 do something fun, like, you know, just to, 677 00:36:16.040 --> 00:36:19.160 not for other people, but just do it for yourself. 678 00:36:20.920 --> 00:36:23.520 But I'm curious, when I say that, 679 00:36:23.520 --> 00:36:26.200 I'm wondering if there's anybody on my call right now 680 00:36:27.200 --> 00:36:29.880 when I tell you, you gotta dress up, 681 00:36:29.880 --> 00:36:32.400 and you gotta look nice, you gotta go out, 682 00:36:32.400 --> 00:36:34.520 and I'm not just talking about coming to my, 683 00:36:34.520 --> 00:36:37.480 our lives next week dressed and ready, 684 00:36:37.480 --> 00:36:41.560 but are you going out when you're out and about 685 00:36:41.560 --> 00:36:42.680 in the community? 686 00:36:42.680 --> 00:36:46.480 Are you dressing to present yourself? 687 00:36:48.160 --> 00:36:51.200 Are you doing your hair, throwing a little makeup on, right? 688 00:36:52.240 --> 00:36:54.520 I'm curious if anyone is a little, like, 689 00:36:55.080 --> 00:36:57.480 irritated with me when I ask you to do that. 690 00:36:58.400 --> 00:36:59.680 Is there anybody on this call? 691 00:36:59.680 --> 00:37:01.960 I know I've only got a couple of you on camera 692 00:37:01.960 --> 00:37:04.760 because some of you can't come on camera. 693 00:37:04.760 --> 00:37:08.440 And if that's you, if I've irritated you a little bit, 694 00:37:09.440 --> 00:37:12.960 or maybe a lot, let me know in the chat. 695 00:37:12.960 --> 00:37:16.840 Or is everybody like, no, like, I'm all for 696 00:37:16.840 --> 00:37:19.760 dressing nice, look, you know, doing myself up. 697 00:37:21.920 --> 00:37:24.240 Maybe there's somebody in replay that's like, 698 00:37:24.920 --> 00:37:25.920 I don't wanna do that. 699 00:37:27.240 --> 00:37:29.480 Awesome, Brittany, I love it. 700 00:37:29.480 --> 00:37:31.320 This is great. 701 00:37:31.320 --> 00:37:35.800 So yeah, I only say this because at one point 702 00:37:35.800 --> 00:37:38.440 when I was in this community, like, 703 00:37:38.440 --> 00:37:40.920 it was really difficult for me to do that. 704 00:37:42.000 --> 00:37:45.440 Like, it was hard because I was a single mom, 705 00:37:45.440 --> 00:37:48.520 I was tired, I was working as a waitress, 706 00:37:48.520 --> 00:37:51.000 and I didn't like wearing makeup. 707 00:37:51.000 --> 00:37:52.320 And the restaurant that I worked at 708 00:37:52.320 --> 00:37:54.840 was like an Amish Mennonite restaurant. 709 00:37:54.840 --> 00:37:57.920 So like, really doing my hair and makeup 710 00:37:57.920 --> 00:38:01.440 was not really a thing that you typically did. 711 00:38:01.440 --> 00:38:06.440 So I was a little like taken back, you know, 712 00:38:06.680 --> 00:38:09.200 like, I don't know if I really wanna do it. 713 00:38:09.200 --> 00:38:13.720 But I will tell you, as I started partnering with that 714 00:38:13.720 --> 00:38:16.320 and started doing that more frequently, 715 00:38:17.280 --> 00:38:19.560 my spirit shifted. 716 00:38:20.080 --> 00:38:23.080 How I felt about myself shifted. 717 00:38:23.080 --> 00:38:23.920 Because again, ladies, 718 00:38:23.920 --> 00:38:27.440 we're not doing this for other people, all right? 719 00:38:27.440 --> 00:38:30.240 We're not doing like, oh, I have to look a certain way. 720 00:38:30.240 --> 00:38:32.160 So don't hear what I'm not saying. 721 00:38:32.160 --> 00:38:35.040 I'm not saying that just because you're not dolled up 722 00:38:35.040 --> 00:38:35.960 and all that kind of stuff, 723 00:38:35.960 --> 00:38:38.160 that means no one's going to wanna date you. 724 00:38:38.160 --> 00:38:40.440 That's not what I'm saying, all right? 725 00:38:40.440 --> 00:38:42.600 This is not a, I'm not good enough, 726 00:38:42.600 --> 00:38:44.120 I don't look or I don't fit the part. 727 00:38:44.120 --> 00:38:46.360 That's not it at all, okay? 728 00:38:46.480 --> 00:38:50.040 Truth be told, when I first came in, you know, 729 00:38:50.040 --> 00:38:51.800 communication with my husband, 730 00:38:53.320 --> 00:38:58.320 he wanted, we were long distance and I was really ill. 731 00:39:00.960 --> 00:39:03.760 Like I had laryngitis, I could like, I was sick, 732 00:39:03.760 --> 00:39:06.120 snotty, like I was just gross. 733 00:39:06.120 --> 00:39:09.160 And so we didn't do a video call or anything like that 734 00:39:09.160 --> 00:39:11.040 because it wasn't well. 735 00:39:11.040 --> 00:39:13.720 But he asked for a picture of me 736 00:39:13.840 --> 00:39:15.160 like when we were talking, he's like, 737 00:39:15.160 --> 00:39:17.640 can you just snap a picture of yourself right now? 738 00:39:17.640 --> 00:39:22.160 And I'm like, I have no makeup on, my hair's not done. 739 00:39:22.160 --> 00:39:23.520 I don't think I've showered for days 740 00:39:23.520 --> 00:39:26.200 because I literally was ill for days. 741 00:39:26.200 --> 00:39:28.280 And I normally wouldn't have done that, 742 00:39:28.280 --> 00:39:30.160 but Holy Spirit was like, it's okay, 743 00:39:30.160 --> 00:39:32.240 this guy is safe to do, okay? 744 00:39:32.240 --> 00:39:34.600 Now there are some guys that will sit there and want photos. 745 00:39:34.600 --> 00:39:36.760 So don't, again, I'm not saying like, 746 00:39:36.760 --> 00:39:37.840 there's always a balance, 747 00:39:37.840 --> 00:39:39.160 there's always a way to do it, 748 00:39:39.160 --> 00:39:40.960 but I'm not saying that you can't do it. 749 00:39:40.960 --> 00:39:44.080 Again, I'm not saying like, there's always a balance here, 750 00:39:44.080 --> 00:39:47.680 this is why you always come to us first, okay? 751 00:39:47.680 --> 00:39:51.480 But I did, like my husband was, 752 00:39:52.400 --> 00:39:53.560 thought I was beautiful 753 00:39:53.560 --> 00:39:55.040 even without the makeup and all the hair. 754 00:39:55.040 --> 00:39:57.720 And I say, the reason I say that is because again, 755 00:39:57.720 --> 00:40:00.000 I want to emphasize, we're not. 756 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:08.060 doing this for other people. We're doing it for ourselves. Okay. It will shift something 757 00:40:08.060 --> 00:40:13.660 in your spirit. It really, really truly will. That's why we kind of always put this challenge 758 00:40:13.660 --> 00:40:21.140 out there to Jackie used to have us. She had the challenge of us to go out and wear dresses. 759 00:40:21.140 --> 00:40:26.340 And like some of us, like we're like, I'm not like, but we did. And once, once women 760 00:40:26.340 --> 00:40:32.280 and we still do it, we still activate you women to go wear dresses, guys like dresses. 761 00:40:32.280 --> 00:40:36.540 And women would start putting on dresses that hadn't wore dresses in years. And men were 762 00:40:36.540 --> 00:40:40.440 approaching them, not even like just to date them, but just being like, Hey, you look really 763 00:40:40.440 --> 00:40:46.480 nice. Other women were coming up to me like, that's a gorgeous dress. Where did you get 764 00:40:46.480 --> 00:40:51.900 it? So there's just something about it that it really does shift. So that's one thing 765 00:40:51.900 --> 00:40:58.380 that you can do to put your feminine to practice. Another thing is ask men for help. This doesn't 766 00:40:58.380 --> 00:41:04.140 have to be men that you're interested in dating. This could be like one of the things that 767 00:41:04.140 --> 00:41:09.940 me and the women in my community, when I was in that we used to have this kind of joke, 768 00:41:09.940 --> 00:41:16.060 I don't know if it was a joke, but we literally like, we would do this. We would go to home 769 00:41:16.060 --> 00:41:21.780 depot because that's where guys hung out. You know, you would go to the store, like 770 00:41:21.780 --> 00:41:25.300 you can't go to a clothing store. You don't see a lot of men. If there's a man there, 771 00:41:25.300 --> 00:41:30.820 it's because his wife or his girlfriend or sisters dragging him to go clothes shopping. 772 00:41:30.820 --> 00:41:34.780 Right. You know, especially now when you can Amazon prime everything to your door, you 773 00:41:34.780 --> 00:41:39.700 can Amazon all your clothes. So I'm like, you can't even go out. Like, and, and, you 774 00:41:39.700 --> 00:41:44.460 know, very rarely are you seeing men at the grocery store again, you can like, you can 775 00:41:44.460 --> 00:41:52.820 Amazon prime your groceries to your door. So, but one place that men do go is home depot 776 00:41:52.820 --> 00:41:57.900 and Lowe's. So we would do that. We would just like joke around like, Oh, I had to go 777 00:41:57.900 --> 00:42:03.100 to home depot because I need to like repaint something in my house or, you know, do something 778 00:42:03.100 --> 00:42:07.100 like I had a young son and they always had things that they would do for kids. So I literally, 779 00:42:07.100 --> 00:42:12.140 I take my, my son who was like five, six years old at the time, I take him to home depot 780 00:42:12.140 --> 00:42:18.140 and I mean, men all over the place. So I'm not saying that like those, I mean, those 781 00:42:18.140 --> 00:42:21.660 scope been out there, like that they're all single, but there's times where it's like 782 00:42:21.660 --> 00:42:28.540 if there's something high on a shelf, Hey, can you grab that for me please? Or maybe 783 00:42:28.540 --> 00:42:33.700 if you're just like looking at a paint color, you need to know, like ask, ask one of the 784 00:42:33.700 --> 00:42:36.980 men that are working there. Hey, can you help me out with this? I've never done this before. 785 00:42:36.980 --> 00:42:40.940 I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be looking for. Whether you need to or not, just 786 00:42:40.940 --> 00:42:48.580 go ask them for help. Let men open the door for you. That's a thing, right? I know there's 787 00:42:48.580 --> 00:42:53.020 not a lot of men. I mean, there are, if you're in Texas, I will tell you there are a lot 788 00:42:53.020 --> 00:42:57.780 of men in Texas that will open doors for you. My husband is like adamant about that. Like 789 00:42:57.780 --> 00:43:02.420 I can't even open my own car door. He makes me shut. If I open my door on accident, he 790 00:43:02.420 --> 00:43:09.340 makes me shut it and wait for him to open it. So let men open doors for you. Like let 791 00:43:09.340 --> 00:43:15.540 people do those. Let, let people do nice things for you. Ask them for help in general. 792 00:43:15.540 --> 00:43:19.060 Like that's another thing. Just accept when people want to offer to do nice things for 793 00:43:19.060 --> 00:43:31.060 you. Like receive the divine feminine is receptive and she's physically and spiritually built 794 00:43:31.060 --> 00:43:38.620 to receive. So if you were like me, that was hard at first, especially when I went out 795 00:43:38.620 --> 00:43:46.740 would go on dates and this idea of men paying for me. How many of you are like, no, I want 796 00:43:46.740 --> 00:43:54.460 to pay for myself. How many of you have just raise your hand or put in the chat. You are 797 00:43:54.460 --> 00:44:01.420 a little nervous about going on dates because you feel like you want to have to pay for 798 00:44:01.420 --> 00:44:10.300 yourself or you're concerned. Yeah. Brittany, thank you. I was like that. I was always so 799 00:44:10.300 --> 00:44:16.500 afraid that men would think I was gold digging or that I couldn't provide for myself, especially 800 00:44:16.500 --> 00:44:25.220 as a single mom. Like I had some pride around that. Um, but I had to learn to be okay with 801 00:44:25.220 --> 00:44:36.780 men providing and paying. I love that. So yeah, like, yes, Gabrielle, like love it. If they pay, 802 00:44:36.780 --> 00:44:43.020 it is, it's so nice to be treated well. And ladies, and it's also why, you know, we don't 803 00:44:43.020 --> 00:44:51.300 encourage, don't go to the expensive, fancy restaurant on a first date. Okay. My husband 804 00:44:52.180 --> 00:44:57.060 picked the fancy restaurant for the first day. I was not even aware that that it was like, 805 00:44:58.740 --> 00:44:59.940 but I was just like, Oh my 806 00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:01.800 Gosh, Jackie's gonna kill me. 807 00:45:03.040 --> 00:45:05.360 She's gonna tell me I wasn't supposed to go 808 00:45:05.360 --> 00:45:06.900 to the fancy restaurant. 809 00:45:06.900 --> 00:45:09.540 Now, obviously it worked out for the best. 810 00:45:10.760 --> 00:45:14.120 Funny story, there was where we went to dinner, 811 00:45:14.120 --> 00:45:17.200 it was a nice fancy restaurant on the top floor, 812 00:45:17.200 --> 00:45:20.840 but the bottom floor was like a casual 813 00:45:20.840 --> 00:45:23.000 because it was on the water. 814 00:45:23.000 --> 00:45:25.360 I was searching the bottom one thinking like, 815 00:45:25.360 --> 00:45:26.200 where is this dude? 816 00:45:26.200 --> 00:45:27.800 Did he stand me up? 817 00:45:27.840 --> 00:45:29.160 Turns out someone was like, 818 00:45:29.160 --> 00:45:30.920 no, there's a restaurant upstairs too. 819 00:45:30.920 --> 00:45:32.240 And I was messaging him and he's like, 820 00:45:32.240 --> 00:45:33.840 oh, I'm already seated at a table. 821 00:45:33.840 --> 00:45:36.400 And I'm like, funny, cause I can't find you. 822 00:45:37.560 --> 00:45:40.760 But so again, we don't, like I say that again, 823 00:45:40.760 --> 00:45:43.320 I'm going, I'm getting off sidetracked here. 824 00:45:43.320 --> 00:45:45.360 I say that because again, 825 00:45:45.360 --> 00:45:47.740 you don't have to go to the fancy restaurant. 826 00:45:47.740 --> 00:45:51.320 It literally can be just for a tea or a coffee 827 00:45:51.320 --> 00:45:55.580 or a small lunch or something casual. 828 00:45:55.580 --> 00:45:56.840 Maybe, I don't know about y'all, 829 00:45:56.880 --> 00:45:59.480 but I love a good food truck. 830 00:45:59.480 --> 00:46:01.920 So maybe it's like a food truck in the park 831 00:46:01.920 --> 00:46:05.640 and you're like walking your dogs or whatever have you, 832 00:46:05.640 --> 00:46:09.720 like something, like let them offer to pay that. 833 00:46:09.720 --> 00:46:12.160 Okay, you don't feel like you have to do that. 834 00:46:12.160 --> 00:46:16.440 Go ahead and receive that gift, receive being treated. 835 00:46:16.440 --> 00:46:17.820 Okay, totally fine. 836 00:46:17.820 --> 00:46:21.760 I'm not saying all men are gonna jump the boat and do that. 837 00:46:21.760 --> 00:46:23.400 Okay, and there's all sorts of reasons 838 00:46:23.400 --> 00:46:27.260 we won't probably get into, but we can later day. 839 00:46:29.200 --> 00:46:31.480 But don't, don't ask the man 840 00:46:31.480 --> 00:46:33.620 just cause he doesn't pay for you the first time. 841 00:46:33.620 --> 00:46:37.880 Okay, cause remember we're giving grace to men. 842 00:46:37.880 --> 00:46:40.600 Not all of them have a Jackie Dorman or coaches 843 00:46:40.600 --> 00:46:44.640 like helping them out, but those are good, good things 844 00:46:44.640 --> 00:46:47.920 for putting into practice the divine feminine. 845 00:46:47.920 --> 00:46:50.200 So hopefully now like you've got some tools 846 00:46:50.200 --> 00:46:52.360 that you can use when you go out. 847 00:46:52.360 --> 00:46:55.380 Yes, coffee shops are definitely a great go-to. 848 00:46:56.800 --> 00:46:59.760 I like fun and different coffee shops. 849 00:46:59.760 --> 00:47:03.080 I sometimes, now Jackie will probably, she'll hear her 850 00:47:03.080 --> 00:47:06.960 and she encourages more active first dates instead of coffee 851 00:47:06.960 --> 00:47:09.680 because sometimes what can happen on coffee dates 852 00:47:09.680 --> 00:47:12.000 is it can turn into an interview. 853 00:47:12.000 --> 00:47:13.640 All right, we already know first dates 854 00:47:13.640 --> 00:47:15.600 already feel like that regardless. 855 00:47:15.600 --> 00:47:18.480 So sometimes like she does encourage more active dates 856 00:47:18.480 --> 00:47:22.400 and things like that where you can like be doing something 857 00:47:22.400 --> 00:47:25.840 together and then still having like talks, you know, 858 00:47:25.840 --> 00:47:27.280 and getting to know one another. 859 00:47:27.280 --> 00:47:29.560 But I did coffee dates sometimes too, 860 00:47:29.560 --> 00:47:32.120 cause sometimes it was just the easiest thing to do 861 00:47:33.560 --> 00:47:35.960 and going to like bookshops and stuff like that. 862 00:47:38.220 --> 00:47:42.120 Yes, Joanna, yes, you like it, but you definitely thank, 863 00:47:42.120 --> 00:47:44.000 thank them when they pay. 864 00:47:44.000 --> 00:47:46.960 Absolutely still, again, that's the divine feminine thing 865 00:47:47.000 --> 00:47:51.120 is like kindness, like be humble, be appreciative, 866 00:47:51.120 --> 00:47:52.960 show that you are thankful for it, 867 00:47:52.960 --> 00:47:55.480 practice gratitude, absolutely. 868 00:47:56.800 --> 00:47:59.480 How about first date at the church? 869 00:47:59.480 --> 00:48:01.280 It's where your next date asked to meet. 870 00:48:01.280 --> 00:48:05.280 Okay, that I wanna get to that, but before we do, 871 00:48:05.280 --> 00:48:08.280 can you stick on for a little while Mariska? 872 00:48:08.280 --> 00:48:11.160 Okay, I just wanna check cause I wanna get to your question 873 00:48:11.160 --> 00:48:12.600 cause I do wanna talk about that 874 00:48:12.600 --> 00:48:15.000 cause I think someone else, there might've been a couple 875 00:48:15.000 --> 00:48:16.880 of women in the last couple of weeks 876 00:48:16.880 --> 00:48:19.240 that had dates at churches. 877 00:48:19.240 --> 00:48:22.400 And so I'm gonna talk a little bit about that. 878 00:48:22.400 --> 00:48:25.720 But the other thing is I wanna share 879 00:48:25.720 --> 00:48:27.480 the seven date challenge, okay? 880 00:48:27.480 --> 00:48:30.780 How many of you like got that challenge and freaked out? 881 00:48:31.740 --> 00:48:33.240 Like what seven dates? 882 00:48:34.560 --> 00:48:36.800 Raise your hand or put in the chat. 883 00:48:36.800 --> 00:48:38.360 You're like, Ooh, I don't know. 884 00:48:39.400 --> 00:48:41.840 Seven day, yeah, Joanne, thank you. 885 00:48:42.720 --> 00:48:45.440 I know, I think I saw a post from you. 886 00:48:45.440 --> 00:48:46.920 Yep, way freaked out about it. 887 00:48:46.920 --> 00:48:50.080 100% ladies, I get it, okay? 888 00:48:50.080 --> 00:48:54.240 I was that girl as well in this community 889 00:48:54.240 --> 00:48:55.680 that was like seven dates. 890 00:48:55.680 --> 00:48:56.980 I hadn't been on a date. 891 00:48:58.720 --> 00:49:03.320 Like I joined this community and my son was five years old 892 00:49:03.320 --> 00:49:04.700 just to turn five. 893 00:49:07.080 --> 00:49:10.720 And I had gone on like two dates with one guy 894 00:49:10.720 --> 00:49:12.000 and it was just super awkward. 895 00:49:12.000 --> 00:49:13.600 Like I just, I didn't like it. 896 00:49:13.600 --> 00:49:14.600 I didn't enjoy the date. 897 00:49:14.600 --> 00:49:17.320 He was very anxious attachment. 898 00:49:17.320 --> 00:49:21.240 Like just was like ready for it to be a thing. 899 00:49:21.240 --> 00:49:22.240 Love bombed me. 900 00:49:22.240 --> 00:49:25.480 Like it was just, he was desperate, okay? 901 00:49:25.480 --> 00:49:28.920 So just like men can be desperate too, okay? 902 00:49:28.920 --> 00:49:32.880 And so I hadn't been on a date for years, okay? 903 00:49:32.880 --> 00:49:34.840 And so I was like super freaked out. 904 00:49:34.840 --> 00:49:36.200 I'm like, I don't know about this. 905 00:49:36.200 --> 00:49:37.240 Like I'm a single mom. 906 00:49:37.240 --> 00:49:38.620 I don't have very much time. 907 00:49:38.620 --> 00:49:40.780 It's hard to find a sitter. 908 00:49:42.660 --> 00:49:45.580 My son only goes to his dad like one night 909 00:49:45.580 --> 00:49:46.880 every other weekend. 910 00:49:47.940 --> 00:49:50.260 And so I get it, okay? 911 00:49:50.260 --> 00:49:52.300 We give you that challenges. 912 00:49:52.300 --> 00:49:54.520 Just do it one date at a time. 913 00:49:54.520 --> 00:49:58.620 Just focus on being open to getting out and date 914 00:49:58.620 --> 00:49:59.940 and let God 915 00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:07.280 play a piece and orchestrating those meetups, okay. He might press you to step out of your 916 00:50:07.280 --> 00:50:14.000 comfort zone, okay, with getting yourself out there. I know a lot of people freak out and 917 00:50:14.000 --> 00:50:19.520 don't want to do the online dating thing. They either never did it before or they did it and it 918 00:50:19.520 --> 00:50:28.400 was like bad and, you know, had bad experiences or they just so feel like God is telling them 919 00:50:28.400 --> 00:50:33.440 that they're going to meet their husband a certain way, okay. Like I've heard it all because I've 920 00:50:33.440 --> 00:50:39.600 given all of those same excuses as to why, all right. It's just about being open to it, okay. 921 00:50:40.240 --> 00:50:45.840 So even though I didn't even like the online dating thing, I still did it eventually because 922 00:50:45.840 --> 00:50:52.640 I needed to put it into practice. I mean Jackie almost like kicked me out of the nest and forced 923 00:50:52.640 --> 00:50:59.680 me to go on dates. She's like you got to get out on dates. It's just so that you're putting 924 00:50:59.680 --> 00:51:04.160 things into practice and when we do that, we don't want you to freak out because just because 925 00:51:04.160 --> 00:51:07.360 you go on a date with a guy doesn't mean that you have to decide whether or not you're spending the 926 00:51:07.360 --> 00:51:13.040 rest of your life with them. You're just getting to know somebody new, just like you would get to 927 00:51:13.040 --> 00:51:20.240 know a girlfriend, like a new girlfriend, right. So it's just really about getting out there, 928 00:51:20.240 --> 00:51:27.360 interacting with new people and just, you know, putting your best foot forward. Like again, 929 00:51:27.360 --> 00:51:37.360 go back to your gift, your valued, let people see that part of you, okay. So it doesn't have to be 930 00:51:37.360 --> 00:51:43.520 super duper scary, all right. It's just take one date at a time and those dates can be video dates 931 00:51:43.520 --> 00:51:51.280 too, in person, in video dates, okay. And it doesn't mean that you have to go on 932 00:51:51.280 --> 00:51:56.800 seven dates with seven different men either, okay. One, like three of those dates could be 933 00:51:56.800 --> 00:52:02.720 with the same guy. I had that. I had three dates with one guy. I had a fourth day lined up with 934 00:52:02.720 --> 00:52:08.480 him and then I really felt like it wasn't, like after three dates with him, I'm like 935 00:52:09.280 --> 00:52:15.680 I'm not sure I can romantically see myself with this person. And so I ended up canceling the 936 00:52:15.680 --> 00:52:20.800 fourth date, but I had three dates with one person. Okay. So it doesn't have to be seven 937 00:52:20.800 --> 00:52:28.480 different guys either. Okay. I know some people are like, that's a lot. So another thing that I 938 00:52:28.480 --> 00:52:32.240 want to talk about, and this kind of goes hand in hand, I'm going to kind of merge these two. 939 00:52:33.200 --> 00:52:40.240 Someone on, in the app this week were sharing about a situation with someone that they met 940 00:52:40.240 --> 00:52:46.640 and the man was expressing that he had some pretty strong feelings that he felt like this 941 00:52:46.640 --> 00:52:51.440 person, like this woman was like someone that he could potentially see himself with. 942 00:52:52.640 --> 00:53:00.080 And there was some question of whether or not like that's possible. Can men just know? And so 943 00:53:02.240 --> 00:53:09.600 I want to kind of talk a little bit about this because I think there is a balance here. So I 944 00:53:09.600 --> 00:53:15.280 want you, when I, when I share this, I want you to put it through the lens of it being balanced, 945 00:53:15.280 --> 00:53:22.320 where I'm not saying it's absolute. Like what I'm saying is no, it's not absolute. There are some 946 00:53:22.320 --> 00:53:33.440 men when they meet you, if it's your spirit mate, they will, most of the time, not most of the time, 947 00:53:34.160 --> 00:53:40.240 there are times when the men will feel very, the man will feel very strongly that he's met his wife. 948 00:53:41.200 --> 00:53:52.400 Okay. That's not, not, not normal. Okay. But again, I say this as it's not absolute. And then if you 949 00:53:52.400 --> 00:54:00.240 have a man kind of pushing that on you, it doesn't mean that he's your spirit mate. Okay. I just want 950 00:54:00.240 --> 00:54:09.520 to take out the things needing to be absolute. And the reason I say this is because my situation 951 00:54:09.680 --> 00:54:17.520 and my love story is a bit different. Okay. It's, it's not the norm. All right. My, my marriage with 952 00:54:17.520 --> 00:54:24.560 my husband, our relationship was very supernaturally accelerated. And so I'm always very cautious about 953 00:54:24.560 --> 00:54:31.440 sharing my story because I don't want women thinking that this is what it's going to always 954 00:54:31.440 --> 00:54:38.640 look like when it's supernatural. But I say it, I talk about it because I think it's important 955 00:54:38.640 --> 00:54:44.960 because my husband very early on had a very strong feeling that I was his wife. 956 00:54:46.080 --> 00:54:54.640 And I actually just learned last week on our, we went on a date night and I was sharing with him 957 00:54:54.640 --> 00:54:59.760 about, you know, I, you know, we talk about the, 958 00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.280 you know, my work and everything like that. 959 00:55:02.280 --> 00:55:04.380 And he understands like when he met me, 960 00:55:04.380 --> 00:55:07.240 he knew I was in a mentorship and stuff like that. 961 00:55:07.240 --> 00:55:09.660 And so he fully supports my coaching. 962 00:55:09.660 --> 00:55:11.480 And so I asked him, I said, you know, 963 00:55:11.480 --> 00:55:12.820 one of the women in here, 964 00:55:12.820 --> 00:55:16.460 she's not sure about a man having strong feelings, 965 00:55:16.460 --> 00:55:18.620 but they had never met in person yet. 966 00:55:18.620 --> 00:55:22.860 Now I knew my husband had shared with me before 967 00:55:22.860 --> 00:55:26.180 when he first met me in person, he knew. 968 00:55:27.020 --> 00:55:32.020 And then on the second date he shared with me 969 00:55:33.680 --> 00:55:36.160 that I was going to be his wife. 970 00:55:36.160 --> 00:55:37.240 Now that was on date two. 971 00:55:37.240 --> 00:55:38.780 And I say that again, 972 00:55:38.780 --> 00:55:41.260 and that's why I preface what I said, 973 00:55:41.260 --> 00:55:43.160 because it's not always going to look like that. 974 00:55:43.160 --> 00:55:44.000 Okay. 975 00:55:45.120 --> 00:55:47.520 So just keep that in mind. 976 00:55:47.520 --> 00:55:48.720 All right. 977 00:55:48.720 --> 00:55:53.280 But I say that because I was like, he knew. 978 00:55:53.280 --> 00:55:54.880 Now I wouldn't advise, 979 00:55:55.700 --> 00:55:57.220 he didn't have a coach. 980 00:55:57.220 --> 00:55:59.020 I mean, Jaggi kind of busted his butt. 981 00:55:59.020 --> 00:56:01.880 And she was like, she had like the yellow flag, 982 00:56:01.880 --> 00:56:04.380 almost red flag radars on him. 983 00:56:04.380 --> 00:56:05.220 Okay. 984 00:56:05.220 --> 00:56:08.300 She's like, Harla, you just need to be very careful. 985 00:56:08.300 --> 00:56:12.800 And so we did, obviously, I paced myself through that, 986 00:56:12.800 --> 00:56:16.540 but wouldn't advise men to share that. 987 00:56:16.540 --> 00:56:19.940 And usually if a man would have said that to me, 988 00:56:19.940 --> 00:56:21.540 I would have been like, no, 989 00:56:21.540 --> 00:56:22.860 like that would have freaked me out. 990 00:56:22.860 --> 00:56:23.800 It would have scared me off. 991 00:56:23.820 --> 00:56:25.660 But for some reason, again, 992 00:56:25.660 --> 00:56:27.780 there was a lot of supernatural things that happened. 993 00:56:27.780 --> 00:56:29.820 There was a supernatural piece. 994 00:56:29.820 --> 00:56:32.940 There was a lot of supernatural confirmation 995 00:56:32.940 --> 00:56:35.380 around my relationship with him. 996 00:56:35.380 --> 00:56:38.780 And it happened through like courses of several weeks 997 00:56:38.780 --> 00:56:41.300 and months where God just was highlighting 998 00:56:41.300 --> 00:56:42.300 that he was my husband. 999 00:56:42.300 --> 00:56:47.040 So again, God was confirming, not by my own doing, 1000 00:56:47.040 --> 00:56:49.920 not by me going out and I need to check for signs. 1001 00:56:49.920 --> 00:56:50.760 All right. 1002 00:56:50.760 --> 00:56:52.000 Cause I know I used to do that. 1003 00:56:52.000 --> 00:56:54.740 Well, it's a sign this, this man does this. 1004 00:56:54.740 --> 00:56:57.020 So it must be a sign that he's my husband. 1005 00:56:57.020 --> 00:57:00.020 No, God will come and confirm it supernaturally. 1006 00:57:00.020 --> 00:57:02.040 You don't have to go searching for it. 1007 00:57:02.040 --> 00:57:03.140 But I say that again, 1008 00:57:03.140 --> 00:57:05.220 kind of going back to men sharing their feelings. 1009 00:57:05.220 --> 00:57:08.500 And so I learned my husband was like, yeah, 1010 00:57:08.500 --> 00:57:12.400 when I was talking to you before we met in person, 1011 00:57:12.400 --> 00:57:14.100 he's like, I had a very strong feeling 1012 00:57:14.100 --> 00:57:15.620 that you were different. 1013 00:57:15.620 --> 00:57:17.560 And then he even told me that there was someone 1014 00:57:17.560 --> 00:57:20.580 that he was in a singles group at church 1015 00:57:20.580 --> 00:57:22.440 that was interested in him. 1016 00:57:22.440 --> 00:57:24.000 And he ended up like break, 1017 00:57:24.000 --> 00:57:27.640 like not like entertaining that 1018 00:57:27.640 --> 00:57:31.720 because he had a strong feeling before even meeting me. 1019 00:57:31.720 --> 00:57:33.640 So I, now he didn't tell me any of that, 1020 00:57:33.640 --> 00:57:35.000 like literally just found this out. 1021 00:57:35.000 --> 00:57:36.920 And I literally have only like, 1022 00:57:38.920 --> 00:57:40.800 it's been two years, right? 1023 00:57:40.800 --> 00:57:42.720 Like I met him, got to like, 1024 00:57:42.720 --> 00:57:45.340 he reached out to me like two years ago yesterday. 1025 00:57:45.340 --> 00:57:46.360 So I just learned this. 1026 00:57:46.360 --> 00:57:49.760 So I say this again is sometimes men 1027 00:57:49.760 --> 00:57:52.340 will catch feelings early on, okay? 1028 00:57:52.340 --> 00:57:55.740 And there are times it will be genuine, okay? 1029 00:57:55.740 --> 00:57:57.900 There's also times when it is love bombing. 1030 00:57:59.660 --> 00:58:01.140 So that's why, again, 1031 00:58:01.140 --> 00:58:03.380 we emphasize the importance of you ladies 1032 00:58:03.380 --> 00:58:06.380 coming to our community and sharing in the app 1033 00:58:06.380 --> 00:58:09.200 and letting us coaches know what you're experiencing, 1034 00:58:09.200 --> 00:58:10.580 what's happening on your dates, 1035 00:58:10.580 --> 00:58:12.060 what are men saying, what are they doing? 1036 00:58:12.060 --> 00:58:12.900 What are you doing? 1037 00:58:12.900 --> 00:58:14.260 What are you saying? 1038 00:58:14.260 --> 00:58:15.620 How that's panning out. 1039 00:58:15.620 --> 00:58:19.180 So we can kind of help navigate you through that, okay? 1040 00:58:19.200 --> 00:58:22.920 So, you know, one of your sisters brought this 1041 00:58:22.920 --> 00:58:26.080 and it could be one of those things where like, 1042 00:58:26.080 --> 00:58:29.080 yeah, no, this is like that, that guy's love bombing you. 1043 00:58:29.080 --> 00:58:30.200 But at the same time, 1044 00:58:30.200 --> 00:58:32.800 I also know that sometimes it's not love bombing. 1045 00:58:32.800 --> 00:58:34.380 Sometimes it's genuine. 1046 00:58:34.380 --> 00:58:37.380 We just, this is when it would be like a yellow flag 1047 00:58:37.380 --> 00:58:39.240 and we would need to know more information. 1048 00:58:39.240 --> 00:58:40.900 She would need to pace herself. 1049 00:58:40.900 --> 00:58:42.920 But just because he's sharing feelings with her 1050 00:58:42.920 --> 00:58:45.600 doesn't mean that she needs to cut and run right away. 1051 00:58:46.500 --> 00:58:51.340 It's literally just being like, okay, this is new. 1052 00:58:51.340 --> 00:58:52.700 He's sharing feelings. 1053 00:58:52.700 --> 00:58:54.020 It could be genuine. 1054 00:58:54.020 --> 00:58:56.060 It could be love bombing. 1055 00:58:56.060 --> 00:58:59.320 We don't know yet because we don't have enough information. 1056 00:58:59.320 --> 00:59:03.420 Now I do believe she still plans to go meet him in person. 1057 00:59:03.420 --> 00:59:07.140 And again, as long as she's communicating with us 1058 00:59:07.140 --> 00:59:10.980 here in the community, we can kind of see 1059 00:59:10.980 --> 00:59:14.460 is that potential yellow flag going to turn red 1060 00:59:14.480 --> 00:59:16.240 or is it going to turn green? 1061 00:59:17.440 --> 00:59:18.600 All right. 1062 00:59:18.600 --> 00:59:22.840 And I also want to share this idea of the love bombing 1063 00:59:22.840 --> 00:59:24.200 and whether or not people are genuine 1064 00:59:24.200 --> 00:59:27.280 because sometimes what happens when we're dating 1065 00:59:27.280 --> 00:59:30.260 is we go in it for the fantasy. 1066 00:59:31.820 --> 00:59:36.820 We want the perfect fairy tale, Cinderella story. 1067 00:59:36.820 --> 00:59:41.480 Like, you know, we start wanting to date the fantasy 1068 00:59:41.500 --> 00:59:44.740 that when a man starts presenting himself 1069 00:59:44.740 --> 00:59:48.620 in this like dreamy knight in shining armor, 1070 00:59:48.620 --> 00:59:53.620 handsome, chivalrous, like, wow, he's such a great guy. 1071 00:59:53.740 --> 00:59:56.820 We are so hooked in on the fantasy 1072 00:59:56.820 --> 01:00:00.220 that we get blind and we don't see the blinds. 1073 01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.360 thoughts. So again, I say this is because we have to make sure 1074 01:00:04.360 --> 01:00:10.640 that we're balancing what we're learning here, and coming into 1075 01:00:10.640 --> 01:00:15.440 community and sharing what's happening. Because and then not 1076 01:00:15.480 --> 01:00:19.720 not being so quick to make a quick judgment call. Because 1077 01:00:19.720 --> 01:00:24.520 some of us if you were like me was an anxious attachment. I'd 1078 01:00:24.520 --> 01:00:27.320 just be like, why isn't he doing this? Why is it? I was just 1079 01:00:27.320 --> 01:00:29.680 anxious, like, does he like me? Does he not? Oh, my gosh, he did 1080 01:00:29.680 --> 01:00:32.200 this and might not like me. Oh, wait, he's doing this must mean 1081 01:00:32.200 --> 01:00:37.200 he really likes me. I was super anxious attachment. And so it 1082 01:00:37.200 --> 01:00:40.840 would freak me out, right? And then there's some of us that are 1083 01:00:40.840 --> 01:00:44.040 like, the guy just wants to open your door and you're ready to 1084 01:00:44.040 --> 01:00:48.640 cut and run. Like, you know, like you're ready to avoid any 1085 01:00:48.640 --> 01:00:53.480 potential of like, someone just being nice to you, right? Or 1086 01:00:53.520 --> 01:00:56.200 they caught feelings and now you're like ready to run and 1087 01:00:56.200 --> 01:01:00.000 it's really great guy, but you're just so scared of being 1088 01:01:00.000 --> 01:01:03.960 hurt that you're going to avoid. So that's why it's so important. 1089 01:01:03.960 --> 01:01:07.200 I share all of this because I want to emphasize the 1090 01:01:07.200 --> 01:01:11.200 importance of making sure that you're coming and sharing in 1091 01:01:11.200 --> 01:01:14.880 community, what interactions you're having with men, what's 1092 01:01:14.880 --> 01:01:19.040 coming up? What's surfacing? How are you responding? What 1093 01:01:19.040 --> 01:01:21.560 emotions and feelings are you getting? What are you concerned 1094 01:01:21.560 --> 01:01:23.560 with? What are you worried about? What do you think is the 1095 01:01:23.560 --> 01:01:28.200 yellow flag? All right. Sometimes they are, sometimes 1096 01:01:28.200 --> 01:01:29.840 they are yellow flags. And then sometimes we're going to tell 1097 01:01:29.840 --> 01:01:32.320 you it's not a yellow flag, or we're gonna tell you it's a 1098 01:01:32.320 --> 01:01:35.440 yellow flag, but let's watch for it to turn green. Or it's a 1099 01:01:35.440 --> 01:01:39.640 yellow flag, let's watch to see if it turns red. All right. So 1100 01:01:39.640 --> 01:01:45.360 it's just practicing that. So all of that to say, come to 1101 01:01:45.360 --> 01:01:47.760 community, all right, come into your community, let us know 1102 01:01:47.760 --> 01:01:51.800 what's going on. All right, I'm going to, I'm going to take 1103 01:01:51.800 --> 01:01:54.080 Mariska, I'm going to take your question. And then I do want to 1104 01:01:54.080 --> 01:01:58.400 put you all in breakouts. I've got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 of 1105 01:01:58.400 --> 01:02:02.680 you. So that's good. I probably put each of you in a group with 1106 01:02:02.760 --> 01:02:05.520 just like one on one. Oh, I think I just had another joiner. 1107 01:02:05.520 --> 01:02:08.480 I don't know. Maybe I didn't. Something weird happened to my 1108 01:02:08.480 --> 01:02:12.720 screen. I do want to put you in breakouts. And we're going to do 1109 01:02:12.720 --> 01:02:17.200 things a little differently in breakouts. I want to put you in 1110 01:02:17.200 --> 01:02:20.040 breakouts after I answer Mariska's question and talk a 1111 01:02:20.040 --> 01:02:22.600 little bit about that. Okay, thank you, Judy, for letting me 1112 01:02:22.600 --> 01:02:26.560 know, I might have to put you all in groups of three. And one 1113 01:02:26.560 --> 01:02:30.200 group with two, we'll figure that out. But I want to put you 1114 01:02:30.200 --> 01:02:33.280 in these breakout groups to have like 10 minutes of getting to 1115 01:02:33.280 --> 01:02:37.040 know your sisters here in community. But I want you to 1116 01:02:37.040 --> 01:02:44.600 approach it. Like, it's a date. Like it's a discovery called 1117 01:02:44.600 --> 01:02:48.440 date, I want you to practice asking and answering questions 1118 01:02:48.440 --> 01:02:53.560 with each other. And the reason I'm doing that is because we 1119 01:02:53.560 --> 01:02:56.880 sometimes get so hung up when we're going on dates with guys 1120 01:02:57.800 --> 01:03:01.480 that we get uncomfortable with what questions we want to ask 1121 01:03:01.480 --> 01:03:03.960 and how we want to answer questions when really it's just 1122 01:03:03.960 --> 01:03:08.120 dialogue with back and forth with somebody. It really is a 1123 01:03:08.120 --> 01:03:13.520 low stakes, no pressure type of get to know you situation. So I 1124 01:03:13.520 --> 01:03:19.720 want us to start practicing these tools of getting to know 1125 01:03:19.720 --> 01:03:24.920 somebody with each other. Get to know your sisters in here. Ask 1126 01:03:24.920 --> 01:03:27.360 them some questions that you might ask them out on a date, 1127 01:03:27.360 --> 01:03:31.320 get to know them better. Because here's another thing, ladies, if 1128 01:03:31.320 --> 01:03:35.440 you're asking certain questions, and it doesn't feel natural to 1129 01:03:35.440 --> 01:03:40.280 ask one of your sisters in Christ, it's probably not a good 1130 01:03:40.280 --> 01:03:44.760 first date question. Like, you're probably not going to ask 1131 01:03:44.760 --> 01:03:50.400 some of your sisters here. So do you want to have kids? How many 1132 01:03:50.400 --> 01:03:53.560 kids do you want to have one day? Like, okay, that's just an 1133 01:03:53.560 --> 01:03:57.600 example. Okay. Like, you're not going to ask a guy on a date 1134 01:03:57.640 --> 01:04:00.720 about how many kids he wants to have. And it's, you know, like, 1135 01:04:00.760 --> 01:04:04.280 that's just not a first date question. We're going to ask 1136 01:04:04.280 --> 01:04:08.040 questions of really just truly getting to know who someone is, 1137 01:04:08.040 --> 01:04:12.080 what do they like to do? What's interesting about them? So I do 1138 01:04:12.080 --> 01:04:14.520 want to do that here in a moment. But Mariska, you had a 1139 01:04:14.520 --> 01:04:19.800 question about first date being at church. Okay. It is one thing 1140 01:04:19.800 --> 01:04:27.400 that I know, Bethany, Jackie, even myself will encourage not 1141 01:04:27.400 --> 01:04:31.360 to make church dates your first date. I'm not saying that they 1142 01:04:31.360 --> 01:04:35.960 don't happen. Okay. I think last week or the week before, a woman 1143 01:04:35.960 --> 01:04:40.800 in our community was traveling. And when she, you know, went to 1144 01:04:40.800 --> 01:04:44.880 this city that this guy was in, she knew I think she might have 1145 01:04:44.880 --> 01:04:49.800 known him through a friend or something. And he invited her to 1146 01:04:49.800 --> 01:04:55.920 go to his like church service. And so it happens. All right. 1147 01:04:56.120 --> 01:05:00.040 It's something that we, we, we encourage you not to do. 1148 01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:05.000 but that is because at this point when you are, 1149 01:05:05.180 --> 01:05:08.540 there's an intimacy that you have in your faith 1150 01:05:08.540 --> 01:05:09.460 and with God. 1151 01:05:09.460 --> 01:05:13.540 And so sometimes what can happen is that 1152 01:05:13.540 --> 01:05:17.280 you will get blinded by the faith stuff 1153 01:05:17.280 --> 01:05:19.540 and not really potentially see the fruit 1154 01:05:19.540 --> 01:05:21.820 or the lack of fruit in someone. 1155 01:05:21.820 --> 01:05:26.820 So it could potentially put blinders on 1156 01:05:27.300 --> 01:05:30.620 because again, now you're sharing an intimacy with someone 1157 01:05:30.620 --> 01:05:34.180 because you're sharing a personal intimacy 1158 01:05:34.180 --> 01:05:36.340 spiritually with somebody. 1159 01:05:36.340 --> 01:05:39.700 And so then sometimes when some yellow flags 1160 01:05:39.700 --> 01:05:42.020 and red flags start showing, 1161 01:05:42.020 --> 01:05:44.240 you might be a little bit more on guard. 1162 01:05:44.240 --> 01:05:46.260 So that's kind of one of the reasons 1163 01:05:46.260 --> 01:05:51.260 why I wouldn't suggest it is because again, 1164 01:05:52.780 --> 01:05:54.900 for a lot of that, that's just a vulnerable thing. 1165 01:05:54.900 --> 01:05:57.580 And again, we do ask you ladies to be vulnerable, 1166 01:05:57.580 --> 01:06:00.540 but again, we ask you to do it in a pacing 1167 01:06:00.540 --> 01:06:03.180 in response of the level of relationship that you're in. 1168 01:06:03.180 --> 01:06:06.580 I'm not saying don't completely not have church dates 1169 01:06:06.580 --> 01:06:10.180 because believe it or not, one of my third dates, 1170 01:06:10.180 --> 01:06:12.100 that guy that I was just telling you all earlier about 1171 01:06:12.100 --> 01:06:16.000 that I had a fourth date with, that ended up ending it, 1172 01:06:16.000 --> 01:06:19.340 the third date that we went on, he came to my church 1173 01:06:19.340 --> 01:06:22.020 because he had friends that went there. 1174 01:06:22.020 --> 01:06:25.540 And so we went there and I will just tell you, 1175 01:06:25.540 --> 01:06:28.180 I just romantically wasn't feeling it with him. 1176 01:06:28.180 --> 01:06:30.340 It got really uncomfortable for me 1177 01:06:30.340 --> 01:06:32.660 because he was sitting right next to me. 1178 01:06:32.660 --> 01:06:37.660 And when I'm praising and worship, I'm crying it out. 1179 01:06:40.140 --> 01:06:42.540 It didn't feel natural 1180 01:06:42.540 --> 01:06:46.140 because I didn't really know him still well enough, 1181 01:06:46.140 --> 01:06:48.060 but it was a third date. 1182 01:06:48.060 --> 01:06:50.380 Okay, so I still did it. 1183 01:06:50.380 --> 01:06:52.180 And then he got to see some of my friends 1184 01:06:52.180 --> 01:06:53.260 in community as well. 1185 01:06:53.260 --> 01:06:55.660 And then I got some feedback from some of my friends 1186 01:06:55.660 --> 01:06:57.440 that met him at my church. 1187 01:06:58.740 --> 01:07:00.380 But those are just, again, 1188 01:07:00.380 --> 01:07:01.980 I'm not saying that they don't happen. 1189 01:07:01.980 --> 01:07:06.300 I would just encourage make it after getting to know them 1190 01:07:06.300 --> 01:07:07.940 after a couple of dates. 1191 01:07:07.940 --> 01:07:10.220 Because even then, on a third date, I realized, 1192 01:07:10.220 --> 01:07:11.380 I'm like, I don't know. 1193 01:07:11.380 --> 01:07:13.140 We talked about our faith and stuff 1194 01:07:13.140 --> 01:07:16.040 and I knew it was important to him, it was important to me. 1195 01:07:16.920 --> 01:07:19.400 But I eventually ended up sensing 1196 01:07:19.400 --> 01:07:23.520 that he was just really wanting to be in a relationship, 1197 01:07:23.520 --> 01:07:28.000 that it almost felt like he was only choosing the faith walk 1198 01:07:28.000 --> 01:07:30.580 because he knew how important it was to me. 1199 01:07:30.580 --> 01:07:35.580 And so it was more of a let me impress you kind of thing. 1200 01:07:36.640 --> 01:07:39.920 And so that's why I kind of ended up ending it with him. 1201 01:07:39.920 --> 01:07:42.200 And then he wanted to do like a Bible study with me. 1202 01:07:42.200 --> 01:07:46.680 And again, we don't encourage praying with each other. 1203 01:07:46.680 --> 01:07:48.560 I mean, obviously, if you're praying over a meal, 1204 01:07:48.560 --> 01:07:49.760 completely understand that. 1205 01:07:49.760 --> 01:07:51.400 But if you're praying for one another 1206 01:07:51.400 --> 01:07:53.560 in level two relationship, 1207 01:07:53.560 --> 01:07:57.960 it just builds a spiritual like bond there 1208 01:07:57.960 --> 01:08:00.280 and an intimacy that if you're not 1209 01:08:00.280 --> 01:08:02.880 in level three relationship, 1210 01:08:05.680 --> 01:08:08.120 it can get really mucky sometimes. 1211 01:08:08.120 --> 01:08:11.360 So that's why we don't encourage it. 1212 01:08:11.360 --> 01:08:16.040 But are you planning to do this? 1213 01:08:16.040 --> 01:08:18.800 Are you in the stages where you can offer 1214 01:08:18.800 --> 01:08:20.300 to do something else instead? 1215 01:08:22.840 --> 01:08:24.740 He decided to do it. 1216 01:08:24.740 --> 01:08:28.560 So I didn't really, it's a large church. 1217 01:08:28.560 --> 01:08:31.600 It's in between, it's really not my church. 1218 01:08:31.600 --> 01:08:33.120 It's the church I go to 1219 01:08:33.120 --> 01:08:35.840 because I have mentors up there at the church. 1220 01:08:35.840 --> 01:08:39.680 And it's in between my city and his city. 1221 01:08:39.680 --> 01:08:43.520 So it's kind of like a break in ice, so to speak. 1222 01:08:43.520 --> 01:08:46.840 And the service is normally like a short, 1223 01:08:46.840 --> 01:08:49.160 it's non-denominational church. 1224 01:08:49.160 --> 01:08:52.520 So that's why I said, okay, so. 1225 01:08:53.920 --> 01:08:55.479 Okay, when is this happening? 1226 01:08:56.840 --> 01:08:58.120 Next Sunday. 1227 01:08:58.120 --> 01:09:00.640 Okay, so you still have some time to think about it. 1228 01:09:00.640 --> 01:09:02.960 If you wanted to, you could probably even just say, 1229 01:09:02.960 --> 01:09:05.000 hey, I've done some thinking on it. 1230 01:09:05.000 --> 01:09:07.399 And I would like, you know, 1231 01:09:07.399 --> 01:09:09.560 you could even say something like, 1232 01:09:10.439 --> 01:09:11.279 because here's the thing, ladies. 1233 01:09:11.279 --> 01:09:14.000 Sorry, I'm kind of going off on a tangent here. 1234 01:09:14.000 --> 01:09:16.680 When you're in worship and you're in a service, 1235 01:09:16.680 --> 01:09:19.359 are you really gonna be able to get to know a person? 1236 01:09:19.359 --> 01:09:20.520 No. 1237 01:09:20.520 --> 01:09:23.640 So that's what, like I would even say, 1238 01:09:23.640 --> 01:09:26.160 hey, I've done some thinking. 1239 01:09:26.160 --> 01:09:28.000 I appreciate the offer to go to church. 1240 01:09:28.000 --> 01:09:29.920 It's something that I would look forward to do, 1241 01:09:29.920 --> 01:09:31.560 you know, in the future after we've gotten 1242 01:09:31.560 --> 01:09:32.640 to know each other. 1243 01:09:32.640 --> 01:09:36.000 But I think it'd probably be best if we go do, 1244 01:09:36.000 --> 01:09:37.880 maybe give them two suggestions. 1245 01:09:37.880 --> 01:09:39.160 We can either go do this or this. 1246 01:09:39.720 --> 01:09:41.200 I think it would allow us an opportunity 1247 01:09:41.200 --> 01:09:43.439 really to get to know one another better 1248 01:09:44.640 --> 01:09:47.240 without any sort of interruption. 1249 01:09:48.200 --> 01:09:50.080 And just, you know, and present that. 1250 01:09:50.080 --> 01:09:52.200 Give him two options of something 1251 01:09:52.200 --> 01:09:55.560 that's maybe in the middle, again. 1252 01:09:55.560 --> 01:09:59.960 Like whether it is go to coffee or go do an activity. 1253 01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:06.320 something or you know something where you can have some communication of really getting to know 1254 01:10:06.320 --> 01:10:11.600 someone because again at church services I mean you're not talking you're not talking while the 1255 01:10:11.600 --> 01:10:19.600 preacher's talking right I mean yeah I get it might leeway into having a conversation about 1256 01:10:19.600 --> 01:10:25.280 what the serve you know service was about but again that's when again we're sharing some more 1257 01:10:25.280 --> 01:10:33.360 intimate like spiritual things like again and we do like you're gonna want to know that y'all are 1258 01:10:33.360 --> 01:10:39.760 on the same page spiritually and and the faith is there but ladies it doesn't have to come right 1259 01:10:39.760 --> 01:10:46.800 away it really is simply just getting to know them outside of their faith are they a fun person 1260 01:10:46.800 --> 01:10:52.000 to be around do you enjoy spending time with them because I will tell you like my husband 1261 01:10:52.000 --> 01:11:02.400 is such I mean such a spirit-filled like godly Christian man but that's not all that he is 1262 01:11:02.400 --> 01:11:07.920 all right he's not sitting in worship with the because he'll he'll he's half the time he's 1263 01:11:07.920 --> 01:11:13.280 probably got more tears in worship than I do and I thought that's weird because I like I mean it 1264 01:11:13.280 --> 01:11:20.800 comes on thick for me but he's not doing that every single day in our everyday life all right 1265 01:11:20.800 --> 01:11:30.080 he is a fun like outgoing sense of humor like he is a goofy I always call him weird I always 1266 01:11:30.080 --> 01:11:36.960 tell him he's a weirdo like that's just his personality and I it's important that you see 1267 01:11:37.760 --> 01:11:43.920 and get to know men outside of that too because they're not just gonna be I mean my husband's not 1268 01:11:43.920 --> 01:11:50.240 sitting here worship and praising Jesus all day every day like you know tears coming down like 1269 01:11:50.320 --> 01:11:56.320 there's another side to him as well and so we want to we want you ladies to to know that there 1270 01:11:56.320 --> 01:12:05.840 are other things besides their faith yes faith is a core it's important but you don't have to 1271 01:12:05.840 --> 01:12:09.840 find that out right away because again some of these guys you're going to go out on a date or 1272 01:12:09.840 --> 01:12:14.720 two with and it's just you're going to be like yeah no that's that doesn't fit that doesn't fit 1273 01:12:14.720 --> 01:12:21.120 for me and it's not going to matter what kind of faith he has because it's not a fit all right 1274 01:12:21.920 --> 01:12:28.160 hope that helps all right let's go ahead and just jump and do like 10 minutes of a breakout session 1275 01:12:28.160 --> 01:12:33.920 where I want you just ladies just what questions would you ask on a date ask them to one of your 1276 01:12:33.920 --> 01:12:40.640 sisters just ask one maybe two dates respond get to know some of your sisters and then we'll come 1277 01:12:40.640 --> 01:12:45.440 back and we can share a little bit about some of the things that you learned about one another 1278 01:12:47.440 --> 01:12:54.080 and then I'll take all y'all's questions how many do I have here one two three four five six seven 1279 01:12:54.080 --> 01:12:58.320 eight and then was there anybody that's not going to be able to participate 1280 01:13:01.200 --> 01:13:06.160 see if I can do four groups if there's someone that's not able to participate 1281 01:13:06.720 --> 01:13:13.840 I will I will shift and move people okay so just get in your group I'll see if y'all are talking 1282 01:13:13.840 --> 01:13:17.840 so if you can participate I'm gonna see y'all talking because I'll see the little mic thing 1283 01:13:17.840 --> 01:13:22.640 going up and down if I see someone that has their mic off and they're not talking and there's one 1284 01:13:22.640 --> 01:13:26.880 person in there that has their mic on I will move the person with the mic on into another group 1285 01:13:27.600 --> 01:13:30.080 sound cool all right 1286 01:13:33.280 --> 01:13:34.560 go ahead and get started 1287 01:13:35.440 --> 01:13:42.000 okay there's one person still it just says zoom user get a pretty hat with like a pretty background 1288 01:13:42.000 --> 01:13:47.600 I don't know if you can hear me I'm guessing maybe you can hear me but I'm not sure if you can hear 1289 01:13:47.600 --> 01:13:53.040 me so I'm going to go ahead and share my screen so I'm going to share my screen and I'm going to 1290 01:13:53.600 --> 01:13:55.600 move some people 1291 01:14:00.560 --> 01:14:05.760 okay there's one person still it just says zoom user get a pretty hat with like a pretty 1292 01:14:05.760 --> 01:14:11.600 background I don't know if you can hear me I'm guessing maybe you're not able to go into a group 1293 01:14:14.160 --> 01:14:15.600 okay I'm gonna move 1294 01:14:18.320 --> 01:14:19.600 some people 1295 01:14:23.840 --> 01:14:27.600 so 1296 01:14:41.280 --> 01:14:44.880 okay you're at work okay gotcha no worries I just moved you 1297 01:14:46.320 --> 01:14:50.000 if you can just click on a room and then just go to that room 1298 01:14:54.000 --> 01:14:54.080 you 1299 01:14:56.800 --> 01:14:57.600 thank you 1300 01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:18.480 All right, ladies, so I'm interested to know, did, excuse me, was there any question that 1301 01:15:18.480 --> 01:15:22.360 one of your sisters shared that was just a really good question that you're like, Oh, 1302 01:15:22.360 --> 01:15:23.360 I love that question. 1303 01:15:23.360 --> 01:15:28.080 I'm going to use that the next time I'm on a date. 1304 01:15:28.080 --> 01:15:35.200 Or there was a question that was able to, um, gotcha, gotcha that you have to go back 1305 01:15:35.200 --> 01:15:36.200 to work. 1306 01:15:36.200 --> 01:15:37.200 Totally fine. 1307 01:15:37.200 --> 01:15:38.560 I'll have this in replay too. 1308 01:15:38.560 --> 01:15:42.240 So if any of your sisters ask questions, you can always fast forward it to this part. 1309 01:15:42.240 --> 01:15:46.400 If you want to hear any of the questions that your sisters ask and how we coach through 1310 01:15:46.400 --> 01:15:47.400 that. 1311 01:15:47.400 --> 01:15:49.080 So if you have to jump off, no worries. 1312 01:15:49.080 --> 01:15:50.840 I know we're kind of a little late on time. 1313 01:15:50.840 --> 01:15:55.360 So ladies, if you have to go totally understand, but I'm curious. 1314 01:15:55.360 --> 01:15:58.200 So what, like, was it fun? 1315 01:15:58.200 --> 01:16:00.560 Did you like learn some things about your sisters? 1316 01:16:00.560 --> 01:16:06.760 Like, tell me what your experience was like, I can talk. 1317 01:16:06.760 --> 01:16:14.800 So, um, I was in the group with Jovan and Gabrielle and, um, it was really interesting 1318 01:16:14.800 --> 01:16:21.640 to just get to know one another and just share a little bit of like, um, like experience 1319 01:16:21.640 --> 01:16:24.120 with like dating online. 1320 01:16:24.120 --> 01:16:31.160 And, um, just like when, when a question is asked to us, like that type of personal question, 1321 01:16:31.160 --> 01:16:37.760 like it's too deep early on and just really just getting some, um, insights of how to 1322 01:16:37.760 --> 01:16:38.760 go about that. 1323 01:16:38.760 --> 01:16:44.200 Like, Hey, I will love to talk to, talk to you about this over coffee or in person. 1324 01:16:44.200 --> 01:16:50.600 Um, especially if it's something like, um, I know the question that was brought up was 1325 01:16:50.600 --> 01:16:56.000 when one of them was asked, Hey, um, what do you, what are you looking for? 1326 01:16:56.000 --> 01:17:01.080 Like in a partner and just really just like, yeah, it's like questions like that. 1327 01:17:01.080 --> 01:17:05.640 That's something that you would, I mean, you could ask on a first day, obviously that if 1328 01:17:05.640 --> 01:17:10.560 it's a little too deep and maybe a few days in, but, um, but yeah, I thought that was 1329 01:17:10.560 --> 01:17:11.560 really good. 1330 01:17:11.560 --> 01:17:15.800 Cause, um, it was also brought up that like one person tried to send a whole paragraph 1331 01:17:15.800 --> 01:17:21.400 and it's just, it's just too much on an app. 1332 01:17:21.400 --> 01:17:22.400 Exactly. 1333 01:17:22.400 --> 01:17:27.880 So that's the thing, like, you know, and again, I think you all ladies understand, like we're 1334 01:17:27.880 --> 01:17:34.840 here and we have mentors and coaches, these guys, they don't, they aren't going to find 1335 01:17:34.840 --> 01:17:38.680 into that, but then it doesn't have to be so scary when those types of questions come 1336 01:17:38.680 --> 01:17:42.480 up, because especially when you're online dating, I think it's kind of one of those 1337 01:17:42.480 --> 01:17:47.480 just like unwritten, um, like it's almost like they think it's like an unwritten rule. 1338 01:17:47.480 --> 01:17:52.440 Like you have to ask the questions like, so what are you looking for in a person or what 1339 01:17:52.440 --> 01:17:54.560 happened in your last relationship? 1340 01:17:54.560 --> 01:17:55.560 Like why are you not together? 1341 01:17:55.560 --> 01:18:01.400 And it's just kind of like, I think it's just because people really don't know what to ask 1342 01:18:01.400 --> 01:18:03.240 or kind of what to talk about. 1343 01:18:03.240 --> 01:18:07.920 So it kind of just, you're there to date, so you just kind of assume you're going to 1344 01:18:07.920 --> 01:18:09.760 ask those kinds of questions. 1345 01:18:09.760 --> 01:18:14.560 So yeah, like it's, I love that you ladies were able to talk about that and help each 1346 01:18:14.560 --> 01:18:21.560 other navigate, like how you can, can come to that like response of, Hey, that's a really 1347 01:18:21.560 --> 01:18:22.560 great question. 1348 01:18:22.560 --> 01:18:27.840 It would be really great to be able to have that conversation in person. 1349 01:18:27.840 --> 01:18:31.440 Why don't we go at, or on a video, why don't we go ahead and set that up? 1350 01:18:31.440 --> 01:18:33.720 Are there any days this week that you're free? 1351 01:18:33.720 --> 01:18:36.000 Like think of that nature. 1352 01:18:36.000 --> 01:18:42.440 And then again, like when those questions get asked to you, like what are you looking 1353 01:18:42.440 --> 01:18:44.160 for? 1354 01:18:44.160 --> 01:18:48.320 You don't have to go in, you don't have to get into the weeds. 1355 01:18:48.320 --> 01:18:50.560 You can just give highlights. 1356 01:18:50.560 --> 01:18:55.360 I honestly oftentimes encourage you ladies to share a little bit on your online dating 1357 01:18:55.360 --> 01:18:56.600 profiles. 1358 01:18:56.600 --> 01:19:02.520 What are some characteristics and qualities that you find that you are, that you're looking 1359 01:19:02.520 --> 01:19:03.520 for? 1360 01:19:04.320 --> 01:19:08.040 So when I say that, I'll give some examples. 1361 01:19:08.040 --> 01:19:14.160 I really appreciate a man that is, has a servant's heart. 1362 01:19:14.160 --> 01:19:22.760 So I'm looking for a quality of a man that will show that he's willing to serve others, 1363 01:19:22.760 --> 01:19:27.280 not just me as, you know, a potential person. 1364 01:19:27.280 --> 01:19:31.200 I mean, I might not even say that on a first date, but I would just say like, I'm looking 1365 01:19:31.200 --> 01:19:32.800 for someone who has a servant's heart. 1366 01:19:33.080 --> 01:19:37.040 And I think it's really important for me to see that someone's willing to just pour into 1367 01:19:37.040 --> 01:19:41.800 other people, whether it's myself or other people in the community, because I have a 1368 01:19:41.800 --> 01:19:43.760 heart for that. 1369 01:19:43.760 --> 01:19:48.080 And so I want to know that there is a man that would appreciate that. 1370 01:19:48.080 --> 01:19:53.000 And so that's one thing again, like, and it doesn't have to be like, I want to see that 1371 01:19:53.000 --> 01:19:55.280 in other people, not just my husband. 1372 01:19:55.280 --> 01:19:56.280 Right. 1373 01:19:56.280 --> 01:19:59.680 I mean, I'm, I want to get to know you, like, do you have a servant's heart? 1374 01:19:59.680 --> 01:20:00.680 What does that look like? 1375 01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:03.420 look like. So those are types of things. And they don't have to 1376 01:20:03.420 --> 01:20:07.320 be like, I'm looking for, you know, a man that wants to have 1377 01:20:07.320 --> 01:20:10.600 like four kids and, you know, has a great relationship with 1378 01:20:10.600 --> 01:20:13.520 his family. Like, you're not gonna like, you don't have to do 1379 01:20:13.520 --> 01:20:16.560 that. Just be like, these are things I value. I value family, 1380 01:20:16.600 --> 01:20:21.120 I value people that can serve others. I value someone that 1381 01:20:21.120 --> 01:20:25.360 has a lot of fun, that likes to, you know, I enjoy someone who 1382 01:20:25.360 --> 01:20:29.840 can be spontaneous. That for me, I love someone who can be 1383 01:20:29.840 --> 01:20:33.160 spontaneous, because I'm not typically a spontaneous person. 1384 01:20:33.960 --> 01:20:37.960 So I need that complimentary opposite, where I'm a planner, 1385 01:20:38.080 --> 01:20:41.240 like it's got to look a certain way. So those are things again, 1386 01:20:41.240 --> 01:20:44.520 it doesn't, you don't have to deep dive, but you can just give 1387 01:20:44.520 --> 01:20:46.960 a highlight, like these are things I value. These are things 1388 01:20:46.960 --> 01:20:51.760 that I find attractive in a person. I once had someone give 1389 01:20:51.760 --> 01:20:57.280 me a challenge of being able to list something I found 1390 01:20:57.280 --> 01:21:02.240 attractive in a person on any person that I came in contact 1391 01:21:02.240 --> 01:21:07.360 with. Whether it was a man, a woman, an elderly woman, an 1392 01:21:07.360 --> 01:21:12.000 elderly man, a child, whatever, whoever I came into contact 1393 01:21:12.000 --> 01:21:16.040 with, finding something attractive about them. And I'm 1394 01:21:16.040 --> 01:21:18.920 not talking about physical attraction, I'm talking about 1395 01:21:18.920 --> 01:21:24.240 heart attraction, what qualities and characteristics can come up. 1396 01:21:24.240 --> 01:21:26.920 So I love that. Yes, you're going to run into those 1397 01:21:26.920 --> 01:21:30.880 questions, right? But there's a way of navigating those that 1398 01:21:30.880 --> 01:21:34.360 doesn't have to deep dive. Same thing with, you know, you're 1399 01:21:34.360 --> 01:21:39.600 gonna get those questions of, so when, how, what, when was your 1400 01:21:39.600 --> 01:21:42.680 last relationship? How long was it? Why did it end? Why are you 1401 01:21:42.680 --> 01:21:46.480 divorced? Whatever. And those are questions you'd be like, I 1402 01:21:46.480 --> 01:21:52.040 understand, like, that question, I would really like to get to 1403 01:21:52.040 --> 01:21:54.800 know someone first before I kind of get into that, that 1404 01:21:54.840 --> 01:21:58.040 discussion. Let's get to know one another first, before we, 1405 01:21:58.400 --> 01:22:01.640 like dive into that stuff. I mean, you can, you can, you can 1406 01:22:01.640 --> 01:22:05.240 navigate that well. But I love that you ladies had practice 1407 01:22:05.240 --> 01:22:08.560 with that. That's awesome. That's why I think I want to 1408 01:22:08.560 --> 01:22:12.160 continue and I'm going to ask some of the other coaches. I 1409 01:22:12.160 --> 01:22:15.680 think I would like to use those breakout sessions for you ladies 1410 01:22:15.680 --> 01:22:20.080 to start practicing what questions to ask one another to 1411 01:22:20.080 --> 01:22:24.240 get to know each other. I think it's going to help you ladies 1412 01:22:24.240 --> 01:22:28.160 form relationships in here. And I think it's also going to help 1413 01:22:28.160 --> 01:22:31.560 make when you are dating, whether you're dating right now 1414 01:22:31.560 --> 01:22:34.400 or you haven't dated yet, but you're going to step into that. 1415 01:22:34.560 --> 01:22:39.920 It makes it not feel as scary and daunting. Because really all 1416 01:22:39.920 --> 01:22:42.920 dating is is just a get to know you. We talk about discovery 1417 01:22:42.920 --> 01:22:47.200 dating, we talk about, you know, just it's a get to know you 1418 01:22:47.200 --> 01:22:51.400 stage, it can be enjoyable. It doesn't have to be like super 1419 01:22:51.400 --> 01:22:55.320 romantic, it shouldn't be romantic in the early stages. 1420 01:22:55.680 --> 01:22:58.520 And it doesn't have you don't have to go into the weeds with 1421 01:22:58.520 --> 01:23:03.600 someone either. So Joanne, she said a guy asked me that what I 1422 01:23:03.600 --> 01:23:06.080 am looking for in a guy and I was like, um, then I said 1423 01:23:06.080 --> 01:23:09.320 masculine marriage minded, decisiveness and mature. I love 1424 01:23:09.320 --> 01:23:13.560 it. Yeah, you say look, I really want a masculine man. I want a 1425 01:23:13.560 --> 01:23:17.600 man that's mature. I want a man that you know, is looking to get 1426 01:23:17.600 --> 01:23:21.120 married in the future, not maybe married right now. Sometimes 1427 01:23:21.120 --> 01:23:24.440 like how we word that can be, you know, we want to tiptoe 1428 01:23:24.440 --> 01:23:27.680 around that. On a first date, you don't be like, I'm looking 1429 01:23:27.680 --> 01:23:32.360 to get married. Like, I'm gonna be like, Whoa, I just met you. 1430 01:23:33.320 --> 01:23:39.520 But yeah, and so then it can, and hopefully, there's dialogue 1431 01:23:39.520 --> 01:23:43.200 back. Oh, so what do you mean by masculine? And you can share 1432 01:23:43.200 --> 01:23:45.480 that? Like, what do you mean by masculine? Are you talking about 1433 01:23:45.480 --> 01:23:48.320 a man that's just going to be able to lift things and, you 1434 01:23:48.320 --> 01:23:52.920 know, be like macho? Because some guys will think that's what 1435 01:23:52.920 --> 01:23:55.760 you mean by masculine. But we can talk about the divine 1436 01:23:55.760 --> 01:23:59.440 masculine, like someone who is, you know, can hold boundaries 1437 01:23:59.440 --> 01:24:03.920 well, someone who is willing to protect and honor the people 1438 01:24:03.920 --> 01:24:07.440 that he's around. So again, that's why for me, a servant's 1439 01:24:07.440 --> 01:24:10.720 heart is important. You know, a man that's going to be, you 1440 01:24:10.720 --> 01:24:17.400 know, willing to serve me as his wife. All right, and allow me to 1441 01:24:17.400 --> 01:24:20.880 be able to step into my divine feminine and receive and then be 1442 01:24:20.880 --> 01:24:27.480 able to pour in and nurture and encourage a husband. Okay, so I 1443 01:24:27.480 --> 01:24:31.440 love that. I love that you did that. That's awesome. Anybody 1444 01:24:31.440 --> 01:24:34.720 else want to share? It doesn't have to be with what you what 1445 01:24:34.720 --> 01:24:38.320 y'all discussed in your breakout? Maybe you have another 1446 01:24:38.320 --> 01:24:42.760 question that's on your mind a situation that you're in. Whether 1447 01:24:42.760 --> 01:24:46.640 you're dating or not dating, maybe you are here to date want 1448 01:24:46.640 --> 01:24:51.160 to talk about question. Yeah, what's up? Okay, my question is, 1449 01:24:51.200 --> 01:24:55.440 I get this a lot. They want to know, are you talking or dating 1450 01:24:55.440 --> 01:24:59.960 to someone else? And I really before I was 1451 01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:03.760 Hey, I'm talking to other people and you, for some reason, 1452 01:25:05.240 --> 01:25:09.120 a certain demographic of men will always be like, 1453 01:25:09.120 --> 01:25:12.500 I just don't believe in talking to so many multiple people. 1454 01:25:12.500 --> 01:25:13.340 It's just like, 1455 01:25:13.340 --> 01:25:15.680 they didn't understand the different levels of dating. 1456 01:25:15.680 --> 01:25:19.360 Like one even said, it's too many spirits. 1457 01:25:19.360 --> 01:25:20.340 I'm like, what? 1458 01:25:22.360 --> 01:25:24.640 So that's, I'm just trying to figure out what to say 1459 01:25:24.640 --> 01:25:26.880 because I know I'm gonna get that. 1460 01:25:26.880 --> 01:25:29.920 And so I just wanna be ready to say that 1461 01:25:29.920 --> 01:25:32.720 and not have to go through the levels of dating with them. 1462 01:25:32.720 --> 01:25:33.760 Sound like- 1463 01:25:33.760 --> 01:25:36.120 Yeah, we don't wanna do like a whole teaching, 1464 01:25:36.120 --> 01:25:38.400 you know, like a Jackie teaching with them, right? 1465 01:25:38.400 --> 01:25:39.840 Okay, we don't wanna be their moms. 1466 01:25:39.840 --> 01:25:41.680 We don't wanna coach them, that kind of stuff. 1467 01:25:41.680 --> 01:25:45.160 Like, yes, a divine feminine is a, 1468 01:25:45.160 --> 01:25:47.200 is got wisdom and sufficient. 1469 01:25:47.200 --> 01:25:49.640 She's gonna be able to be, you know, 1470 01:25:49.640 --> 01:25:52.000 coach and teach and things like that's in that nature, 1471 01:25:52.000 --> 01:25:53.620 but we're not gonna step into that with men. 1472 01:25:53.620 --> 01:25:55.800 So I love this question. 1473 01:25:55.800 --> 01:26:00.800 Yeah, like this is definitely one of those scenarios 1474 01:26:03.360 --> 01:26:08.360 that I think, especially coming into this community 1475 01:26:08.800 --> 01:26:11.000 and you all can kind of weigh in 1476 01:26:11.000 --> 01:26:15.800 and on what, how you took this 1477 01:26:15.800 --> 01:26:19.840 is when I, before I came in this community, 1478 01:26:19.840 --> 01:26:24.360 I was not comfortable dating more than one person at a time. 1479 01:26:25.240 --> 01:26:28.360 That was me, like to me, 1480 01:26:28.360 --> 01:26:31.680 I thought you were cheating on someone, right? 1481 01:26:31.680 --> 01:26:35.240 And so, and then there is other people 1482 01:26:35.240 --> 01:26:37.080 where they're not serious, 1483 01:26:37.080 --> 01:26:40.520 so they're just dating all sorts of different people. 1484 01:26:40.520 --> 01:26:44.800 But this was a whole different scenario for me 1485 01:26:44.800 --> 01:26:47.560 to really have to step into is this idea 1486 01:26:47.560 --> 01:26:50.400 that I can date more than one person. 1487 01:26:50.400 --> 01:26:54.600 For me, and I think this can happen with a lot of people, 1488 01:26:54.600 --> 01:26:59.000 partly why this happens is because oftentimes, 1489 01:26:59.000 --> 01:27:00.560 especially in the society, 1490 01:27:00.560 --> 01:27:02.960 in the world that we live in right now, 1491 01:27:02.960 --> 01:27:06.680 there's a lot of like physical intimacy that's happening. 1492 01:27:06.680 --> 01:27:08.640 There's a lot of like, you know, 1493 01:27:08.640 --> 01:27:13.080 kissing and other things that are happening where, yeah, 1494 01:27:13.080 --> 01:27:16.600 you're not gonna be doing that with more than one person. 1495 01:27:16.600 --> 01:27:21.000 However, we're stepping into this community 1496 01:27:21.000 --> 01:27:24.160 where it is about dating more than one person, 1497 01:27:24.160 --> 01:27:27.400 but we're also holding boundaries, 1498 01:27:27.400 --> 01:27:31.600 biblical godly boundaries and why that's important. 1499 01:27:31.600 --> 01:27:34.440 And so, yes, you're gonna get these types of things 1500 01:27:34.440 --> 01:27:35.280 that come up. 1501 01:27:35.280 --> 01:27:40.280 So the best way that I would respond to people asking me, 1502 01:27:41.480 --> 01:27:44.560 especially if a guy's like, you know, asking me, 1503 01:27:44.560 --> 01:27:46.760 are you dating more than one person? 1504 01:27:47.680 --> 01:27:49.760 I'd be like, well, you know, 1505 01:27:49.760 --> 01:27:52.240 I just started getting to know you. 1506 01:27:52.240 --> 01:27:53.760 I'm in a stage of dating 1507 01:27:53.760 --> 01:27:55.640 where I just wanna get to know people 1508 01:27:55.640 --> 01:27:59.600 and see if I connect with someone on a different level. 1509 01:27:59.600 --> 01:28:04.600 And I believe in the, how do I wanna word this? 1510 01:28:05.520 --> 01:28:07.240 I believe that it's important 1511 01:28:07.240 --> 01:28:08.400 to really get to know someone 1512 01:28:08.400 --> 01:28:12.360 before you go into deeper levels of relationship. 1513 01:28:12.360 --> 01:28:16.720 And so, yes, I'm getting to know more people, 1514 01:28:16.720 --> 01:28:20.760 but I also hold, like I have healthy boundaries 1515 01:28:20.760 --> 01:28:22.920 and to make sure that that doesn't cross. 1516 01:28:24.040 --> 01:28:24.880 Okay. 1517 01:28:24.880 --> 01:28:27.160 Like, I think, again, it's just, 1518 01:28:27.160 --> 01:28:29.680 it's about being clear and communicating. 1519 01:28:29.680 --> 01:28:34.680 Like the reason why we choose and coach you all 1520 01:28:35.960 --> 01:28:37.760 to be open to dating more than one person, 1521 01:28:37.760 --> 01:28:39.760 because you really are just getting to know a person. 1522 01:28:39.800 --> 01:28:43.080 You're not planning a future with someone. 1523 01:28:43.080 --> 01:28:44.800 You are just getting to know them. 1524 01:28:44.800 --> 01:28:48.160 And again, I always put it in the terms of, 1525 01:28:48.160 --> 01:28:52.280 if you were in a community of women 1526 01:28:53.960 --> 01:28:56.640 and you were building friendships, 1527 01:28:56.640 --> 01:29:00.640 would you just have one friend, one girlfriend, 1528 01:29:00.640 --> 01:29:02.520 one best friend, one best girlfriend, 1529 01:29:02.520 --> 01:29:03.760 one ride or die chick? 1530 01:29:03.760 --> 01:29:04.720 No. 1531 01:29:04.720 --> 01:29:08.120 Most of us women have several different women 1532 01:29:08.120 --> 01:29:10.080 that we have relationship with. 1533 01:29:11.880 --> 01:29:13.920 I have several different, you know, 1534 01:29:13.920 --> 01:29:17.560 friendships with women from all different stages of my life. 1535 01:29:17.560 --> 01:29:22.520 I have friends that are solely my, you know, 1536 01:29:22.520 --> 01:29:25.200 my son's baseball travel mom team. 1537 01:29:25.200 --> 01:29:27.880 Like it's all of us moms getting together 1538 01:29:27.880 --> 01:29:30.280 because we have something in common. 1539 01:29:30.280 --> 01:29:32.240 Our boys play travel baseball 1540 01:29:32.240 --> 01:29:33.880 and we spend a lot of time together. 1541 01:29:33.920 --> 01:29:36.000 I have a community of women 1542 01:29:36.000 --> 01:29:39.840 that I connect with at church that are friends. 1543 01:29:39.840 --> 01:29:42.280 I have friends from, you know, high school. 1544 01:29:42.280 --> 01:29:43.640 I have friends from my college. 1545 01:29:43.640 --> 01:29:46.880 I have friends from when I was living in Florida. 1546 01:29:47.840 --> 01:29:49.440 I have all sorts of group of friends 1547 01:29:49.440 --> 01:29:51.000 and I wouldn't subject myself 1548 01:29:51.000 --> 01:29:53.880 to only having one girlfriend at a time. 1549 01:29:55.200 --> 01:29:56.720 So again, like I would just say, 1550 01:29:56.720 --> 01:29:58.360 look, I'm just getting to know people. 1551 01:29:58.360 --> 01:30:00.000 I haven't made a decision 1552 01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:04.520 be serious with someone and have a committed relationship. 1553 01:30:04.520 --> 01:30:07.680 So until I'm ready to have a committed relationship with someone, 1554 01:30:08.120 --> 01:30:09.800 I am going to get to know other people. 1555 01:30:11.040 --> 01:30:12.240 And you can even say like, 1556 01:30:12.240 --> 01:30:14.800 that doesn't mean that you have to feel that same way. 1557 01:30:14.800 --> 01:30:16.760 Like if you like, 1558 01:30:16.800 --> 01:30:17.840 you can tell a guy like, 1559 01:30:17.840 --> 01:30:18.080 look, 1560 01:30:18.080 --> 01:30:21.760 just because I'm dating someone else doesn't necessarily, 1561 01:30:21.760 --> 01:30:23.760 if that's not comfortable for you, 1562 01:30:23.960 --> 01:30:26.400 I'm not forcing you to do that. 1563 01:30:26.760 --> 01:30:28.360 I don't think most men would be like, 1564 01:30:28.680 --> 01:30:29.520 you know, 1565 01:30:30.400 --> 01:30:30.720 be like, 1566 01:30:30.720 --> 01:30:31.640 you know what I'm saying? 1567 01:30:31.840 --> 01:30:32.280 But I mean, 1568 01:30:32.280 --> 01:30:35.720 I think it's just looking at it that way and just letting them know, 1569 01:30:35.720 --> 01:30:38.240 like I'm not in, 1570 01:30:38.280 --> 01:30:40.360 I'm not in a committed relationship with someone. 1571 01:30:40.360 --> 01:30:41.600 And I hold that very dear. 1572 01:30:41.600 --> 01:30:44.760 It's really important to me when I decide to be in a committed relationship with 1573 01:30:44.760 --> 01:30:45.600 somebody, 1574 01:30:45.960 --> 01:30:46.800 it's, 1575 01:30:47.160 --> 01:30:47.600 it's, 1576 01:30:47.600 --> 01:30:48.560 it's serious. 1577 01:30:48.560 --> 01:30:49.920 Like I take that, 1578 01:30:49.960 --> 01:30:51.200 I value that. 1579 01:30:51.560 --> 01:30:51.760 I mean, 1580 01:30:51.760 --> 01:30:55.040 I had that same conversation with my husband on our first date. 1581 01:30:55.040 --> 01:30:56.280 He wanted to kiss me and I said, 1582 01:30:56.280 --> 01:30:57.100 no, 1583 01:30:57.800 --> 01:30:59.280 I'm not comfortable with that. 1584 01:31:00.000 --> 01:31:03.240 I'm not comfortable kissing someone, 1585 01:31:04.520 --> 01:31:04.560 um, 1586 01:31:04.560 --> 01:31:06.640 that I'm not in a committed relationship with. 1587 01:31:07.720 --> 01:31:09.120 And I explained to him that, 1588 01:31:09.120 --> 01:31:09.960 look, 1589 01:31:10.000 --> 01:31:12.880 I'm aware that we're just getting to know each other. 1590 01:31:13.080 --> 01:31:14.480 You could be dating other people. 1591 01:31:14.480 --> 01:31:15.960 I could be dating other people. 1592 01:31:16.400 --> 01:31:17.440 And for me, 1593 01:31:17.520 --> 01:31:20.960 I don't want to kiss more than one person. 1594 01:31:21.560 --> 01:31:25.880 So it's important to me to wait till I'm exchanging, 1595 01:31:26.480 --> 01:31:26.760 you know, 1596 01:31:26.760 --> 01:31:27.760 a kiss on the lip. 1597 01:31:27.760 --> 01:31:29.040 It's something that is like, 1598 01:31:29.320 --> 01:31:29.720 that's a, 1599 01:31:29.720 --> 01:31:30.400 that's to me, 1600 01:31:30.480 --> 01:31:31.440 that's sacred. 1601 01:31:32.240 --> 01:31:33.120 And so I'm not, 1602 01:31:33.200 --> 01:31:35.240 I'm not going to do that with a bunch of different people. 1603 01:31:38.400 --> 01:31:39.240 You're welcome. 1604 01:31:39.400 --> 01:31:40.280 That's a good question. 1605 01:31:40.280 --> 01:31:41.680 I like that because again, 1606 01:31:42.000 --> 01:31:47.000 I think it goes to men out there that y'all are going to be dating, 1607 01:31:47.440 --> 01:31:49.320 don't have a community like this. 1608 01:31:50.040 --> 01:31:51.040 And if they don't, 1609 01:31:51.080 --> 01:31:55.160 you can introduce them to this community 100%, 1610 01:31:55.160 --> 01:31:58.960 or especially if they're a good guy and they might not be for you, 1611 01:31:59.000 --> 01:32:02.720 definitely introduce them to our community because just because they're not a 1612 01:32:02.720 --> 01:32:03.200 match for you, 1613 01:32:03.200 --> 01:32:05.440 doesn't mean that they're not a match for one of your sisters here in this 1614 01:32:05.440 --> 01:32:06.280 community. 1615 01:32:07.520 --> 01:32:08.360 All right. 1616 01:32:08.560 --> 01:32:09.600 Anybody else? 1617 01:32:12.160 --> 01:32:13.400 I have a question. 1618 01:32:14.720 --> 01:32:19.440 How do you ask what season a person is in? 1619 01:32:20.440 --> 01:32:22.040 Cause I know you guys talked about, 1620 01:32:22.040 --> 01:32:22.600 you know, 1621 01:32:22.600 --> 01:32:24.720 people are in different seasons. 1622 01:32:25.600 --> 01:32:26.480 In their lives. 1623 01:32:26.480 --> 01:32:30.440 And I know you mentioned that obviously when it comes to seasons, 1624 01:32:30.440 --> 01:32:32.520 like so for me, 1625 01:32:33.400 --> 01:32:36.440 the season I would like obviously is motherhood and, 1626 01:32:36.440 --> 01:32:36.720 you know, 1627 01:32:36.720 --> 01:32:37.560 starting fresh, 1628 01:32:37.880 --> 01:32:41.480 but then a lot of the guys I'm meeting are kind of like retired or, 1629 01:32:41.680 --> 01:32:42.160 you know, 1630 01:32:42.160 --> 01:32:42.880 or have, 1631 01:32:42.880 --> 01:32:43.240 you know, 1632 01:32:43.240 --> 01:32:44.200 in that portion, 1633 01:32:44.200 --> 01:32:46.120 I don't want to assume that they're not looking. 1634 01:32:46.280 --> 01:32:47.120 So how do you ask? 1635 01:32:47.880 --> 01:32:51.360 So I think just seeing about what season a person's life, 1636 01:32:51.360 --> 01:32:52.920 and that can mean several different things. 1637 01:32:52.920 --> 01:32:57.800 So one way that I would ask is asking them, 1638 01:32:57.960 --> 01:32:58.800 you know, 1639 01:32:59.000 --> 01:33:02.080 especially early on when you really are still getting to know them. 1640 01:33:02.080 --> 01:33:04.040 And maybe it's like a first date or something. 1641 01:33:05.000 --> 01:33:07.160 You're just kind of feeling out certain, 1642 01:33:07.200 --> 01:33:08.640 certain energy and stuff like that. 1643 01:33:08.680 --> 01:33:09.880 But I would ask, 1644 01:33:09.920 --> 01:33:14.720 so help me understand like what in your life right now takes up a lot of your 1645 01:33:14.720 --> 01:33:15.560 time. 1646 01:33:15.600 --> 01:33:16.320 Like what, 1647 01:33:16.320 --> 01:33:16.960 what is, 1648 01:33:16.960 --> 01:33:17.480 what, 1649 01:33:17.480 --> 01:33:21.240 what are some of the priorities in your life right now in this moment? 1650 01:33:22.120 --> 01:33:23.480 And seeing what they say, 1651 01:33:23.480 --> 01:33:24.520 because again, 1652 01:33:25.280 --> 01:33:28.600 and I say that because many single people, 1653 01:33:28.600 --> 01:33:29.880 you're not going to know, 1654 01:33:29.880 --> 01:33:30.240 like, 1655 01:33:30.240 --> 01:33:34.480 they're not going to be in a season of having children because they're single. 1656 01:33:34.800 --> 01:33:36.560 So you might not learn about that, 1657 01:33:36.560 --> 01:33:40.880 but you're going to see like what's important to them right now. 1658 01:33:41.240 --> 01:33:42.440 So again, 1659 01:33:42.440 --> 01:33:43.440 if they're like, 1660 01:33:43.480 --> 01:33:44.960 I'm in a season of, 1661 01:33:45.280 --> 01:33:45.640 you know, 1662 01:33:45.640 --> 01:33:47.120 dating and getting to know someone, 1663 01:33:47.120 --> 01:33:51.560 because I would like to potentially be married and have a family someday, 1664 01:33:51.880 --> 01:33:54.040 you can kind of navigate that well. 1665 01:33:54.040 --> 01:33:56.560 And so then if a man is asking you and just be like, 1666 01:33:56.800 --> 01:33:57.200 you know, 1667 01:33:57.200 --> 01:33:59.520 I'm in a season of just coming out of hiding, 1668 01:33:59.920 --> 01:34:00.440 you know, 1669 01:34:00.440 --> 01:34:00.760 I'm, 1670 01:34:00.760 --> 01:34:01.160 I'm, 1671 01:34:01.160 --> 01:34:04.120 I'm part of this really awesome community of women and, 1672 01:34:04.520 --> 01:34:07.200 and just learning more about myself and, 1673 01:34:07.200 --> 01:34:09.200 and partnering with the Lord. 1674 01:34:09.200 --> 01:34:10.760 And I'm, 1675 01:34:10.800 --> 01:34:11.760 I'm looking, 1676 01:34:11.800 --> 01:34:12.120 I'm, 1677 01:34:12.120 --> 01:34:16.680 I'm preparing myself to step into God's purpose for me. 1678 01:34:16.680 --> 01:34:19.480 And I believe that is to be a wife someday. 1679 01:34:20.480 --> 01:34:21.000 I mean, 1680 01:34:21.000 --> 01:34:23.320 you can say things of that nature as, 1681 01:34:23.360 --> 01:34:23.840 and again, 1682 01:34:23.840 --> 01:34:28.800 it doesn't have to be super intimidating to a man. 1683 01:34:29.160 --> 01:34:30.200 You see what I'm saying? 1684 01:34:30.200 --> 01:34:30.640 And it's just, 1685 01:34:30.640 --> 01:34:30.960 again, 1686 01:34:30.960 --> 01:34:35.960 it's a lot of times it is about just creating dialogue and letting it naturally 1687 01:34:37.120 --> 01:34:37.960 come up. 1688 01:34:39.000 --> 01:34:39.600 And so, 1689 01:34:39.600 --> 01:34:41.600 and you'll see like after several dates, 1690 01:34:41.600 --> 01:34:42.680 you'll more, 1691 01:34:42.720 --> 01:34:44.360 more oftentimes than not, 1692 01:34:44.480 --> 01:34:48.320 God will start revealing to you certain things and opening, 1693 01:34:48.320 --> 01:34:50.120 especially like opening up, 1694 01:34:50.120 --> 01:34:53.800 like where person's coming from again. 1695 01:34:53.800 --> 01:34:57.600 And as long as like one thing that was important to me when I was dating is I 1696 01:34:57.600 --> 01:34:58.080 was, 1697 01:34:58.080 --> 01:34:59.160 before I went on a date, 1698 01:34:59.200 --> 01:35:00.040 I was always. 1699 01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:04.320 is going to my Heavenly Father and praying to Him first, 1700 01:35:04.320 --> 01:35:06.640 before going out on the date. 1701 01:35:06.640 --> 01:35:08.920 And just having some peace and some clarity, 1702 01:35:08.920 --> 01:35:11.240 trusting Him with the process, 1703 01:35:11.240 --> 01:35:12.840 and also just reminding myself, 1704 01:35:12.840 --> 01:35:15.120 I just wanna go out and enjoy myself 1705 01:35:15.120 --> 01:35:18.360 with whoever you've put in my path, 1706 01:35:18.360 --> 01:35:20.080 whether he's my spirit mate or not, 1707 01:35:20.080 --> 01:35:21.960 I just wanna go out and have a good time. 1708 01:35:21.960 --> 01:35:24.120 And Lord, I trust that you're gonna reveal things 1709 01:35:24.120 --> 01:35:28.080 that I need to know, and let that kind of unfold. 1710 01:35:28.080 --> 01:35:30.200 And if you enjoy conversation with the person, 1711 01:35:30.200 --> 01:35:31.920 and you wanna do it again, 1712 01:35:31.920 --> 01:35:33.560 then go out on another date again. 1713 01:35:33.560 --> 01:35:36.200 And as you kind of build that relationship, 1714 01:35:36.200 --> 01:35:37.040 and you see like, you know, 1715 01:35:37.040 --> 01:35:40.080 I really enjoy this person a little bit more. 1716 01:35:40.080 --> 01:35:42.920 It's gonna naturally flow into seeing 1717 01:35:42.920 --> 01:35:45.280 whether or not a guy is gonna be intentional 1718 01:35:45.280 --> 01:35:47.160 and wanting to get to know you better. 1719 01:35:47.160 --> 01:35:49.920 And then like down the road, after several dates, 1720 01:35:49.920 --> 01:35:53.000 you will naturally start having those conversations 1721 01:35:53.000 --> 01:35:57.000 about what this would look like progressing. 1722 01:35:58.160 --> 01:35:59.520 But we don't have to, 1723 01:35:59.520 --> 01:36:02.160 it will not oftentimes happen in a first date. 1724 01:36:02.160 --> 01:36:03.280 I will tell you that. 1725 01:36:04.240 --> 01:36:06.360 Because a lot of times it's just awkward, like, right? 1726 01:36:06.360 --> 01:36:10.200 Like, raise your hand if first dates, 1727 01:36:10.200 --> 01:36:12.400 most first dates you go on are just awkward. 1728 01:36:14.200 --> 01:36:15.040 Right? 1729 01:36:15.040 --> 01:36:16.200 I know some of you, if you have your avatar hand, 1730 01:36:16.200 --> 01:36:17.160 or maybe just put it in the chat, 1731 01:36:17.160 --> 01:36:20.560 like, yeah, first dates, it can get awkward. 1732 01:36:22.400 --> 01:36:23.400 So I hope that helps. 1733 01:36:23.400 --> 01:36:24.840 Just again, asking someone like, 1734 01:36:24.840 --> 01:36:25.960 what's important to you? 1735 01:36:25.960 --> 01:36:27.920 What are your priorities in life? 1736 01:36:28.800 --> 01:36:30.280 What takes up a lot of time? 1737 01:36:30.280 --> 01:36:33.120 What takes up your time in the week? 1738 01:36:35.120 --> 01:36:36.920 You might find someone's like, yeah, 1739 01:36:36.920 --> 01:36:41.600 I'm coming, I'm retiring. 1740 01:36:41.600 --> 01:36:43.720 Like I used to work 50 hours a week 1741 01:36:43.720 --> 01:36:46.360 and now I'm starting to enjoy that I'm doing more things 1742 01:36:46.360 --> 01:36:47.480 and being more active. 1743 01:36:47.480 --> 01:36:50.000 And then you can, and if he talks about retirement, 1744 01:36:50.000 --> 01:36:50.840 you can be like, 1745 01:36:50.840 --> 01:36:53.240 well, what does retirement look like for you? 1746 01:36:53.240 --> 01:36:56.200 What would you envision your retirement look like? 1747 01:36:56.200 --> 01:36:59.600 Who would be, who would you share your retirement with? 1748 01:36:59.600 --> 01:37:01.120 Are there certain people in your life 1749 01:37:01.120 --> 01:37:05.080 that is important for you to spend your retirement with? 1750 01:37:05.080 --> 01:37:07.160 And maybe that's how you might be like, 1751 01:37:07.160 --> 01:37:09.560 well, I would hope to retire 1752 01:37:09.560 --> 01:37:11.640 and I hope to be married when I'm retired. 1753 01:37:12.960 --> 01:37:13.840 They're right there. 1754 01:37:13.840 --> 01:37:17.440 Like you didn't ask him, are you, are you marriage minded? 1755 01:37:17.440 --> 01:37:19.600 He might just naturally say, you know, 1756 01:37:19.600 --> 01:37:20.920 when I look at retirement, 1757 01:37:20.920 --> 01:37:25.680 I would love to be married and share it with someone special. 1758 01:37:25.680 --> 01:37:26.960 Or maybe he might not even say married, 1759 01:37:26.960 --> 01:37:28.560 he might share it with someone special. 1760 01:37:28.560 --> 01:37:30.120 Oh, that's interesting. 1761 01:37:30.120 --> 01:37:31.080 With someone special, 1762 01:37:31.080 --> 01:37:33.720 would that be like a wife or with kids? 1763 01:37:33.720 --> 01:37:34.800 Is that your mother? 1764 01:37:34.800 --> 01:37:35.840 Is that your father? 1765 01:37:35.840 --> 01:37:37.640 Like, is it your sibling? 1766 01:37:37.640 --> 01:37:41.080 I mean, you could ask a bunch of questions there. 1767 01:37:41.080 --> 01:37:44.920 Like you can, you can, doors get open that way. 1768 01:37:45.760 --> 01:37:47.880 So, and that's why, again, 1769 01:37:47.880 --> 01:37:50.160 I think it would be great when we come in 1770 01:37:50.160 --> 01:37:52.760 to have these breakout sessions of practicing, 1771 01:37:52.800 --> 01:37:55.720 asking questions as if we are on dates 1772 01:37:56.560 --> 01:37:59.560 and how you would respond to one of your sisters. 1773 01:37:59.560 --> 01:38:01.200 And we could even do that on a session. 1774 01:38:01.200 --> 01:38:04.000 Maybe it's like you guys ask me questions 1775 01:38:04.000 --> 01:38:06.160 and I'll respond to you or I'll ask you questions 1776 01:38:06.160 --> 01:38:07.440 and you ladies respond to me. 1777 01:38:07.440 --> 01:38:09.280 That's maybe something that I can, 1778 01:38:09.280 --> 01:38:11.800 I can chat with Ebony and some of the other coaches 1779 01:38:11.800 --> 01:38:14.280 and maybe we could try to put that together one day 1780 01:38:14.280 --> 01:38:17.240 on one of these coaching calls. 1781 01:38:17.240 --> 01:38:18.080 Cool. 1782 01:38:18.960 --> 01:38:20.000 Anybody else? 1783 01:38:21.000 --> 01:38:22.440 Anybody want to share about like 1784 01:38:22.440 --> 01:38:24.520 what their dates have been looking like? 1785 01:38:24.520 --> 01:38:27.640 Or maybe if you're not dating 1786 01:38:27.640 --> 01:38:29.400 and you're nervous about dating, 1787 01:38:29.400 --> 01:38:30.840 let's, if you want to talk about that, 1788 01:38:30.840 --> 01:38:32.480 we can unpack that. 1789 01:38:34.760 --> 01:38:36.600 Nobody, everybody's really quiet. 1790 01:38:38.360 --> 01:38:40.920 I mean, I can share, but I don't want to hog up the, 1791 01:38:42.000 --> 01:38:43.240 I don't know if you can hear this. 1792 01:38:43.240 --> 01:38:45.160 I know some of your sisters are not even able to talk 1793 01:38:45.160 --> 01:38:46.160 because I know they're at work. 1794 01:38:46.160 --> 01:38:47.320 So go ahead, Joanne. 1795 01:38:47.320 --> 01:38:48.400 And if there's anybody else, 1796 01:38:49.040 --> 01:38:50.960 go ahead and put your avatar hand up. 1797 01:38:50.960 --> 01:38:53.000 And then if there's no one else, 1798 01:38:53.000 --> 01:38:54.960 I'll take Joanne's question and then we'll jump off 1799 01:38:54.960 --> 01:38:57.520 because we are coming up at two hours, I think here. 1800 01:38:57.520 --> 01:39:00.880 So I don't want to take up all y'all's time either. 1801 01:39:00.880 --> 01:39:02.680 So Joanne, what's going on with you? 1802 01:39:04.320 --> 01:39:07.800 So I have, I'm on the Facebook dating. 1803 01:39:07.800 --> 01:39:12.800 And so I obviously set up some texting back and forth. 1804 01:39:13.080 --> 01:39:15.840 And so I've asked them to jump on to Zoom 1805 01:39:15.840 --> 01:39:18.000 just to make sure that they're real. 1806 01:39:18.880 --> 01:39:22.320 So one guy was really funny 1807 01:39:22.320 --> 01:39:24.320 because he was like, yes, I'm real, I'm real. 1808 01:39:24.320 --> 01:39:25.600 And like, I have real teeth. 1809 01:39:25.600 --> 01:39:29.040 And so he was very hilarious about it. 1810 01:39:29.040 --> 01:39:32.320 And so I got to chat and see that he was real. 1811 01:39:32.320 --> 01:39:36.440 So he also did like the resume dump and I was like, whoa, 1812 01:39:37.520 --> 01:39:39.600 I don't need a resume dump, you know, 1813 01:39:39.600 --> 01:39:40.480 start a conversation. 1814 01:39:40.480 --> 01:39:41.320 But then- 1815 01:39:41.320 --> 01:39:43.040 Oh, he started resume dumping on you? 1816 01:39:43.040 --> 01:39:43.880 Yeah. 1817 01:39:44.040 --> 01:39:45.360 So I was like- 1818 01:39:45.360 --> 01:39:48.320 Legitimately like, and you're feminine kind of just say, 1819 01:39:48.320 --> 01:39:52.080 hey, I understand, like, look, like this doesn't have to, 1820 01:39:52.080 --> 01:39:54.560 I mean, that's when I'd be like, look, I get the awkward. 1821 01:39:54.560 --> 01:39:55.840 It doesn't have to be like that. 1822 01:39:55.840 --> 01:39:58.440 And then that's where you, you're fun, flirty. 1823 01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:02.040 feminine side can come out. 1824 01:40:02.040 --> 01:40:03.240 So that's funny that he did that. 1825 01:40:03.240 --> 01:40:05.640 Cause again, these men don't have coaches. 1826 01:40:06.840 --> 01:40:08.800 Speaking of coaches, just like you said, 1827 01:40:08.800 --> 01:40:12.000 like the whole guy in his bedroom with the zoom, 1828 01:40:12.000 --> 01:40:13.760 with the lights and stuff like that. 1829 01:40:13.760 --> 01:40:16.720 And I was like, this is totally like not, you know, 1830 01:40:16.720 --> 01:40:19.640 but considering it was just like, for me, 1831 01:40:19.640 --> 01:40:23.120 I didn't mind because I just wanted more proof of like, 1832 01:40:23.120 --> 01:40:24.240 not scammer. 1833 01:40:24.240 --> 01:40:28.280 So I'm sure like the next real one would be more appropriate 1834 01:40:28.280 --> 01:40:29.480 and stuff like that. 1835 01:40:30.840 --> 01:40:33.720 So, and then the other gentleman, 1836 01:40:33.720 --> 01:40:35.160 like I also did the same, he was, 1837 01:40:35.160 --> 01:40:37.120 he was actually pleasantly happy that, 1838 01:40:37.120 --> 01:40:39.880 and surprised that I offered to do zoom 1839 01:40:41.000 --> 01:40:44.280 because he was like, oh, not everybody will do that. 1840 01:40:44.280 --> 01:40:47.240 And, you know, and he also forced a proof of, 1841 01:40:47.240 --> 01:40:49.600 you know, realness, so that was good. 1842 01:40:49.600 --> 01:40:52.400 And I was talking with Mariska, 1843 01:40:52.400 --> 01:40:53.880 cause it's like when they were asking me, 1844 01:40:53.880 --> 01:40:54.880 well, tell me about you. 1845 01:40:54.880 --> 01:40:59.560 And I was like, I'm a nurse and I was like so stuck. 1846 01:41:00.160 --> 01:41:01.520 So it's like, cause I don't want to be like an interview. 1847 01:41:01.520 --> 01:41:04.400 You know how like you have like that elevator speech. 1848 01:41:04.400 --> 01:41:07.800 So I was like, so I was kind of a little stuck on 1849 01:41:07.800 --> 01:41:11.320 like how to get over that initial hump. 1850 01:41:12.160 --> 01:41:13.840 Yeah, that's always typically a thing too. 1851 01:41:13.840 --> 01:41:15.240 Like people are like, tell me about you. 1852 01:41:15.240 --> 01:41:17.160 You're like, oh, okay. 1853 01:41:17.160 --> 01:41:20.160 Like sometimes I like more specific questions. 1854 01:41:20.160 --> 01:41:23.040 And so that one, you, again, you could be like, well, 1855 01:41:26.160 --> 01:41:29.000 you know, I have, like, how would I answer that? 1856 01:41:29.000 --> 01:41:31.120 Like, that's a good one. 1857 01:41:31.120 --> 01:41:33.440 Like even I see, I even get stumped with that. 1858 01:41:33.440 --> 01:41:34.760 Cause again, like it's been a while 1859 01:41:34.760 --> 01:41:36.880 since I've been on the dating scene, obviously. 1860 01:41:36.880 --> 01:41:38.960 But yeah, it's like, tell me more about you. 1861 01:41:38.960 --> 01:41:43.320 Well, you know, I, this is when for me, 1862 01:41:43.320 --> 01:41:44.880 I do share my faith. 1863 01:41:44.880 --> 01:41:46.760 Like, you know, look at the, 1864 01:41:46.760 --> 01:41:48.080 when I was asked this question, 1865 01:41:48.080 --> 01:41:49.200 be like, I'm a single mom. 1866 01:41:49.200 --> 01:41:51.880 Like I have, I have a son. 1867 01:41:51.880 --> 01:41:53.600 So a lot of my time is spent, you know, 1868 01:41:53.600 --> 01:41:57.360 interacting with him and doing things that he enjoys. 1869 01:41:57.360 --> 01:41:58.280 Like he's athletic. 1870 01:41:58.280 --> 01:42:00.600 So I go to sports and stuff, but you know, 1871 01:42:00.600 --> 01:42:02.960 I'm really involved with my church. 1872 01:42:02.960 --> 01:42:06.560 I have a group of friends, like I'm part of a community. 1873 01:42:06.560 --> 01:42:10.640 I'm, you know, really into just growing as a person 1874 01:42:10.640 --> 01:42:12.680 and, you know, interacting with people. 1875 01:42:12.680 --> 01:42:13.680 Like I love people. 1876 01:42:13.680 --> 01:42:15.720 I love getting to know a lot of new people. 1877 01:42:15.720 --> 01:42:16.880 So I kind of talk about that. 1878 01:42:16.880 --> 01:42:17.920 And then I'd be like, 1879 01:42:17.920 --> 01:42:20.520 then you can turn it and flip it to a question. 1880 01:42:20.520 --> 01:42:22.040 Then start asking him questions. 1881 01:42:22.040 --> 01:42:22.880 And I'd be like, you know, 1882 01:42:22.880 --> 01:42:25.800 one thing that about me is I do love to travel. 1883 01:42:25.840 --> 01:42:28.760 Like I just went here on a vacation 1884 01:42:28.760 --> 01:42:30.600 and my next vacation is going to be here. 1885 01:42:30.600 --> 01:42:32.440 Tell me, like, do you have any vacations? 1886 01:42:32.440 --> 01:42:34.560 Like, are you a person that likes to travel? 1887 01:42:34.560 --> 01:42:36.360 So you see how sometimes you can kind of share 1888 01:42:36.360 --> 01:42:38.680 a little bit, like you're here and now, 1889 01:42:38.680 --> 01:42:41.160 like what's going on in your life here and now, 1890 01:42:41.160 --> 01:42:43.280 and then turn it into a question 1891 01:42:43.280 --> 01:42:45.080 where it gets them responding. 1892 01:42:45.080 --> 01:42:47.160 Because again, sometimes people just don't know 1893 01:42:47.160 --> 01:42:48.760 how to communicate very well. 1894 01:42:48.760 --> 01:42:50.520 They don't know how to have dialogue with people. 1895 01:42:50.520 --> 01:42:52.640 So it's practicing that skill too. 1896 01:42:52.640 --> 01:42:55.120 That's why I like it when you ladies jump on and stuff. 1897 01:42:55.120 --> 01:42:58.600 So tell me, these two guys, 1898 01:42:58.600 --> 01:43:01.560 do you have any, like a second date set up? 1899 01:43:01.560 --> 01:43:03.320 Are they local? 1900 01:43:03.320 --> 01:43:04.920 Are they long distance? 1901 01:43:04.920 --> 01:43:06.760 What's going on with these two? 1902 01:43:07.800 --> 01:43:09.920 So one is local. 1903 01:43:09.920 --> 01:43:12.400 I'm trying to, I was trying to set up a, 1904 01:43:12.400 --> 01:43:14.000 since I'm off for the next couple of days, 1905 01:43:14.000 --> 01:43:14.840 trying to set up something, 1906 01:43:14.840 --> 01:43:17.400 but he was saying weekdays are not good for him. 1907 01:43:17.400 --> 01:43:20.160 So, but he said he's off next week. 1908 01:43:20.160 --> 01:43:21.560 So I was like, okay, great. 1909 01:43:21.560 --> 01:43:22.520 So I had a date. 1910 01:43:22.520 --> 01:43:25.480 So we'll see how we're going to do like a live date, 1911 01:43:25.480 --> 01:43:26.520 maybe next week. 1912 01:43:27.920 --> 01:43:29.920 The other one is not, he's in Delaware. 1913 01:43:29.920 --> 01:43:31.760 I'm in New York. 1914 01:43:31.760 --> 01:43:36.760 So to be determined when we can kind of spit it in. 1915 01:43:37.320 --> 01:43:38.800 Yeah, definitely. 1916 01:43:38.800 --> 01:43:40.360 Yeah, definitely could jump on a Zoom, 1917 01:43:40.360 --> 01:43:42.440 but like an actual live date. 1918 01:43:42.440 --> 01:43:44.360 And then I don't know if you remember 1919 01:43:44.360 --> 01:43:47.720 from when I had asked you guys in the coach 1920 01:43:47.720 --> 01:43:50.320 about the gentleman who was in Massachusetts, 1921 01:43:51.120 --> 01:43:54.600 where we've been doing like Zooms and phone calls and stuff. 1922 01:43:54.600 --> 01:43:57.160 So I have two questions and then I'll give an update. 1923 01:43:57.160 --> 01:43:58.560 So one quick before I forget. 1924 01:43:58.560 --> 01:44:02.320 So I've given him my Google phone number. 1925 01:44:02.320 --> 01:44:03.160 Okay. 1926 01:44:03.160 --> 01:44:05.480 And so I've actually met him and I actually, 1927 01:44:05.480 --> 01:44:07.320 you know, like he's a live person. 1928 01:44:07.320 --> 01:44:09.240 He's, I deem that he's kind of safe. 1929 01:44:09.240 --> 01:44:12.160 And like, I met like his, the people around him. 1930 01:44:12.160 --> 01:44:13.280 Okay, good. 1931 01:44:13.280 --> 01:44:16.040 The question is, when do I give him my real number? 1932 01:44:16.040 --> 01:44:21.040 I don't, I mean, I think as long as you're still 1933 01:44:23.680 --> 01:44:25.440 making connection and stuff like that, 1934 01:44:25.440 --> 01:44:26.280 and you're still doing, 1935 01:44:26.280 --> 01:44:27.440 I don't think that that wouldn't, 1936 01:44:27.440 --> 01:44:29.000 you wouldn't have to give a real number. 1937 01:44:29.000 --> 01:44:33.360 I mean, are you finding that it's hard to have communication 1938 01:44:33.360 --> 01:44:35.560 because he doesn't have your real number? 1939 01:44:35.560 --> 01:44:36.400 No. 1940 01:44:36.400 --> 01:44:38.280 I was just wondering because, you know, 1941 01:44:38.280 --> 01:44:39.440 not that he asked or anything, 1942 01:44:39.440 --> 01:44:40.920 I was just curious of like, you know, 1943 01:44:40.920 --> 01:44:42.840 when do you be like, okay, now here's my real number 1944 01:44:42.840 --> 01:44:43.680 versus, you know. 1945 01:44:43.720 --> 01:44:44.840 Yeah, I would, I, you know, 1946 01:44:44.840 --> 01:44:46.320 I would wait after several dates 1947 01:44:46.320 --> 01:44:48.400 and maybe if you see it kind of going, 1948 01:44:48.400 --> 01:44:50.680 if maybe you're going to kind of move 1949 01:44:50.680 --> 01:44:53.960 into a more serious relationship with him, then yeah. 1950 01:44:53.960 --> 01:44:55.880 But right now you're just discovery dating, 1951 01:44:55.880 --> 01:44:56.960 you're getting to know people. 1952 01:44:56.960 --> 01:44:59.520 I wouldn't, I wouldn't press it honestly. 1953 01:44:59.520 --> 01:45:00.360 And if he's. 1954 01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:04.800 not asking and it's working, I would say that's fine. Um, so 1955 01:45:04.800 --> 01:45:07.200 that's good. That's exciting. 1956 01:45:07.360 --> 01:45:11.520 So I went to take my niece on a college tour, and he lived in 1957 01:45:11.520 --> 01:45:15.800 the town right next to it. So he had the one with the had the 1958 01:45:15.800 --> 01:45:19.200 community where he opened the open house for this next week, I 1959 01:45:19.200 --> 01:45:22.720 did come I brought chocolate. And so I got to meet him. It was 1960 01:45:22.720 --> 01:45:27.680 very platonic and shook my hand. So it was nice. It was a little 1961 01:45:27.680 --> 01:45:29.840 weird. I was a little nerve wracking. I was praying the 1962 01:45:29.840 --> 01:45:36.480 whole time. But you know, it always are. So we'll see how 1963 01:45:36.560 --> 01:45:39.600 like he's also in Massachusetts. So we'll see. 1964 01:45:40.120 --> 01:45:43.120 I love it. This is good. It's really good. And I like that 1965 01:45:43.120 --> 01:45:47.200 again, like, ladies, I also want you to hear you know, it's not 1966 01:45:47.200 --> 01:45:50.560 just us women that are, you know, looking to see are they a 1967 01:45:50.560 --> 01:45:53.880 real person like the men are dealing with the same things we 1968 01:45:53.880 --> 01:45:56.840 are to make sure that you're real, you know, make sure that 1969 01:45:56.840 --> 01:46:00.680 you're an actual person. I think, again, she probably like 1970 01:46:00.680 --> 01:46:03.960 the guy that was probably shocked that you were willing to 1971 01:46:03.960 --> 01:46:07.600 do a video call like I know a lot of women that are in office 1972 01:46:07.600 --> 01:46:11.760 about it. And so I'm sure that was probably a breath of fresh 1973 01:46:11.800 --> 01:46:15.120 air for him that you were willing again, ladies, we can 1974 01:46:15.120 --> 01:46:18.880 step into that confidence and are feminine and just, you know, 1975 01:46:18.880 --> 01:46:22.120 we have nothing to like, we're God defended, we don't have 1976 01:46:22.120 --> 01:46:29.080 anything to fear. And it really does move the the getting to 1977 01:46:29.080 --> 01:46:32.560 know you part along instead of that awkward back and forth, 1978 01:46:32.560 --> 01:46:37.360 like getting to see them live and in person, or on a video 1979 01:46:37.360 --> 01:46:41.960 where they're like interacting, you can you can tell a lot, you 1980 01:46:41.960 --> 01:46:44.920 know, and again, like same thing, like I know, nowadays, 1981 01:46:44.920 --> 01:46:49.560 it seems like even if you are on a video chat, I think it was 1982 01:46:49.560 --> 01:46:53.240 Mariska that she kind of noticed it was very awkward. The 1983 01:46:53.240 --> 01:46:55.920 zoom was very awkward for her because she wasn't even sure if 1984 01:46:55.920 --> 01:47:00.280 it was a real person, because of the way that technology is. So 1985 01:47:00.280 --> 01:47:03.360 again, sometimes you can get yourself, you can kind of feel 1986 01:47:03.360 --> 01:47:06.640 that out. So again, like, you're going to see and it's going to 1987 01:47:06.640 --> 01:47:08.920 flow, it's going to be naturally going to have natural human 1988 01:47:09.160 --> 01:47:13.400 interaction. And it's a way for you, again, to kind of, you 1989 01:47:13.400 --> 01:47:17.400 know, instead of doing all the back and forth messaging, and 1990 01:47:17.400 --> 01:47:19.440 then you're getting your feelings and you're talking and 1991 01:47:19.440 --> 01:47:21.640 then you're like, Oh, I want to talk to you every day. And then 1992 01:47:21.640 --> 01:47:24.840 you realize, like, they're not a person, they're not a real 1993 01:47:24.840 --> 01:47:27.920 person, they're not who they say they are. And at this point, if 1994 01:47:28.120 --> 01:47:30.840 you're like me, and like most women, you start catching 1995 01:47:30.840 --> 01:47:35.200 feelings for people, because you start sharing intimate details 1996 01:47:35.200 --> 01:47:38.680 with a person that you haven't met face to face. All right, 1997 01:47:38.680 --> 01:47:41.640 because eventually, after a couple weeks of talking and 1998 01:47:41.640 --> 01:47:44.840 getting to know somebody, you're going to run out of things to 1999 01:47:44.840 --> 01:47:48.600 talk about, like, where you're going to eventually kind of 2000 01:47:48.600 --> 01:47:52.120 naturally progress to that. And so we really do want to make 2001 01:47:52.120 --> 01:47:57.720 sure that you are speaking to an actual person, not deep diving 2002 01:47:57.720 --> 01:48:00.840 until you've had some face to face interactions with people. 2003 01:48:01.160 --> 01:48:05.920 Because you can, can feel that out once you're in person, like 2004 01:48:05.920 --> 01:48:08.320 sometimes you think they're going to be really like, Oh, 2005 01:48:08.320 --> 01:48:11.160 this is this guy is great. And then you meet them. And you're 2006 01:48:11.160 --> 01:48:15.680 like, what happened? I have the same conversation with my 2007 01:48:15.680 --> 01:48:19.200 husband when he was like, coming to visit me and meeting 2008 01:48:19.200 --> 01:48:23.800 me for the first time. He was traveling from Texas to Florida. 2009 01:48:23.800 --> 01:48:28.240 And he's like, Am I going to get to see you more than once? And I 2010 01:48:28.240 --> 01:48:32.680 was like, I don't know, I haven't met you in person in 2011 01:48:32.680 --> 01:48:35.600 real life. I don't know what that will look like. Let's meet 2012 01:48:35.600 --> 01:48:40.440 first. And then we'll decide. Like, sometimes you don't like I 2013 01:48:40.440 --> 01:48:44.120 went on dates with guys that I thought this guy is cute, 2014 01:48:44.120 --> 01:48:48.000 attractive, like he seems fun. And then you get on the date, 2015 01:48:48.000 --> 01:48:52.440 and it's kind of like, like, nothing, nothing like you're 2016 01:48:52.440 --> 01:48:55.880 like, okay, like, the guy couldn't hold eye contact. He 2017 01:48:55.880 --> 01:48:58.680 didn't seem interested in me at all. He was on his phone the 2018 01:48:58.680 --> 01:49:04.360 whole time. He was, you know, drinking too much or he was, you 2019 01:49:04.360 --> 01:49:08.080 know, talking about his ex girlfriend so much and like, and 2020 01:49:08.080 --> 01:49:12.440 I'm like, like, that didn't that didn't plan out the way that I 2021 01:49:12.440 --> 01:49:15.600 hoped. So again, it's, it's important to make sure that 2022 01:49:15.600 --> 01:49:18.320 you're getting on those face to face and doing the zoom calls 2023 01:49:18.320 --> 01:49:20.720 and all that kind of stuff. So Joanna, thank you so much for 2024 01:49:20.720 --> 01:49:24.480 that update. I love it. I'm excited to hear how these go. I 2025 01:49:24.480 --> 01:49:26.920 love that you're getting out there. I love that you're open 2026 01:49:26.920 --> 01:49:30.000 to like getting to know more than one person. And just 2027 01:49:30.040 --> 01:49:34.280 relax and see where it goes and just enjoy the process. Okay. 2028 01:49:34.800 --> 01:49:37.800 All right, ladies, I've taken up a lot of your time already. So 2029 01:49:37.800 --> 01:49:41.240 I'm going to go ahead and send y'all off. Don't forget next 2030 01:49:41.240 --> 01:49:45.600 week, come live like you're going to go on a video day or a 2031 01:49:45.600 --> 01:49:50.040 real day. Let's let's get some coaching on that. We're going to 2032 01:49:50.040 --> 01:49:55.880 talk about online dating as well next week. And then don't forget 2033 01:49:55.880 --> 01:49:58.600 tonight if you can jump on the eight o'clock Eastern, you'll 2034 01:49:58.600 --> 01:49:59.600 have Ebony. 2035 01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:05.880 well and some of the other women so if you can make both great if not totally 2036 01:50:05.880 --> 01:50:10.760 fine but I will see you ladies next week don't forget to come in the app share 2037 01:50:10.760 --> 01:50:16.360 what's going on in your life all right don't be a stranger all right all right 2038 01:50:16.360 --> 01:50:19.520 I'm gonna pray us out real quick and then send you ladies on your way so 2039 01:50:19.520 --> 01:50:23.840 Heavenly Father I just thank you so much for the time that we get to share on 2040 01:50:23.840 --> 01:50:28.120 Tuesdays with one another Lord I think that I thank you for the love stories 2041 01:50:28.120 --> 01:50:31.560 you've written for these women I thank you for the opportunities and the growth 2042 01:50:31.560 --> 01:50:36.520 that you're gonna constantly be pressing into these women Lord that you just you 2043 01:50:36.520 --> 01:50:42.880 are our father you have good things for us good gifts for us and and and the men 2044 01:50:42.880 --> 01:50:46.400 are gonna be gifts to us and we are gonna be gifts to men and other people 2045 01:50:46.400 --> 01:50:52.360 that come in contact Lord I just I thank you for just the constant opportunity 2046 01:50:52.360 --> 01:50:58.120 Lord I just I bless this community I just am so thankful for this community 2047 01:50:58.120 --> 01:51:04.040 and the gift that you've given not just not just to these women but Lord I just 2048 01:51:04.040 --> 01:51:08.800 thank you for the gift of this community for me you know this this this community 2049 01:51:08.800 --> 01:51:14.400 has been such a great blessing for me in my life in the early stages and even now 2050 01:51:14.400 --> 01:51:18.880 Lord and I just thank you I thank you for the opportunity that you've given me 2051 01:51:18.880 --> 01:51:23.600 to be a hope and a light and an encouragement to them and Lord I just I 2052 01:51:23.600 --> 01:51:28.960 I bless them and I thank you for them and I know that you are gonna make them 2053 01:51:28.960 --> 01:51:33.520 blessings in other people's lives as well just because of this community I 2054 01:51:33.520 --> 01:51:37.160 thank you for the relationships and the friendships that are gonna be formed in 2055 01:51:37.160 --> 01:51:40.920 this community I thank you for the friendships that you've already created 2056 01:51:40.920 --> 01:51:44.440 this community and the ones you're gonna continue to keep creating I thank you 2057 01:51:44.440 --> 01:51:47.600 for each and every one of their spirit mates Lord and I just bless their spirit 2058 01:51:47.600 --> 01:51:54.120 mates I bless them that they get an acceleration on the supernatural Lord I 2059 01:51:54.120 --> 01:52:00.760 pray for your clarity and confirmation as they go out into this into this 2060 01:52:00.760 --> 01:52:05.840 community into this phase of dating Lord I pray that you give them confidence and 2061 01:52:05.840 --> 01:52:10.720 peace and wisdom I just thank you for all the things that you're doing in this 2062 01:52:10.720 --> 01:52:16.400 community and and and beyond so Lord we just pray all these things in your son's 2063 01:52:16.400 --> 01:52:23.000 name amen ladies thank you so much always such a blessing I can't wait to 2064 01:52:23.000 --> 01:52:27.440 see y'all next week I may be on tonight in the background so if you're there 2065 01:52:27.440 --> 01:52:32.160 I'll look forward to seeing you there as well but have a great wonderful rest of 2066 01:52:32.160 --> 01:52:40.120 your week watch one video a week and then share in community okay take care