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Hello, welcome. Hello, hello. It is Monday night. I can't believe it's already been a

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week. I feel like I was just here. It's a good feeling. Feels like home. Welcome back

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to those joining us again tonight. If you're here for your first live session, can you

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put that in the chat for me so that I know that you are here for your first live session

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and we can welcome you. I see another Bethany in the house. Hi. That's super fun.

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I don't see my name that often, so it's always fun when I see it. Lauren, welcome for your first

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live session. Anyone else joining for the first time? Tiffany, is this your first live session?

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Yep, okay. And Susan's first live session. All right, we have several. Welcome, welcome. So

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for those of you joining for the first time, I typically open up and we do some content,

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and then I will put you all in breakouts and you'll chat with some sisters in the community

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for a few minutes, bring you all back together. We'll do some group sharing and I'll do some

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coaching then, talk a little bit more and share a little bit more content. We'll do the breakouts

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again and Lord willing, we'll do group coaching again at the end. I was running a little behind

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today, so let's hope I can get through it a little quicker this evening and we'll have more

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group coaching time this afternoon. But I always trust when the Holy Spirit's guiding conversation

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and we're open for that, right? So God's got some good stuff planned. I hope that y'all are excited

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and expecting transformation and change. When you come with an expectant heart, I believe God will

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meet you there and he'll give you more than you even know that you need or expect. He likes to

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surprise us. He loves to love on us. And so if that's not been your experience up to this

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point in your relationship with the Lord, I believe he's about to show you a little bit more about

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himself in this season. And so I want to encourage you to come in with open hearts. My name's Bethany

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Cooper. If you've never met me before, I am one of the master heartwork coaches in this community

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and I'm raising up some other heartwork coaches. It's an exciting time and God's doing some really

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amazing stuff. And so you all see some of those coaches, Annette Winter and Jennifer Yankovich.

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They also helped me respond to you. So if they are responding, they are a part of the team.

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If y'all did not know that, we're working on kind of a better way for y'all to know who the team is

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in every phase. So look for that to be coming soon as well. And I want to plug Supernatural Saturday.

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If you're also new, you're probably learning. There's a whole lot to this program.

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The prayer calls are not mandatory, but highly, highly recommend you join if or when you can.

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We know some people work during the day. We understand that. Y'all, I used to listen truly.

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I had an office job, so it was a little easy for me at times to do this, but I would listen in

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even if I couldn't pray out loud. And I'm so grateful that I did because there were a lot

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of days I can remember like shutting tears at my desk while I would be working. So sometimes,

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you know, even as we go, God's healing. And so there's that. Saturday, we did Supernatural

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Saturday. If anyone was able to join, you know that we kicked off, Jackie kicked off the project

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Good Year. If you don't know what I'm talking about, if you listen to that Supernatural Saturday,

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you'll hear more about it. But the reason I want to mention it today is that so many of us

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in life, we will, especially if our hope is deferred or we have a low hope tank in any area,

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we tend to dread birthdays and holidays unless we just really love them. My family always loved

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birthdays and holidays. So I grew up in a family that celebrated those no matter what,

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but not everybody had that experience. Some people that actually had really tough experiences during

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the holidays. My spiritual daughters that the oldest one in general, out of the two of them

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more so like just does not like the holidays and it breaks my heart because they're so good.

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But I'm saying this to you all to say that I believe that however we posture our hearts

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is really key. So if you go in expecting for Christmas to suck, pardon the way I'm saying

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that, but that's how we feel sometimes, right? So let's just be real. But if we posture our heart

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like that, then that is typically how we're going to experience it. But if you go in with it, with

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the hope and the expectation that God is changing your life, like you're here for a divine purpose,

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for a divine reason, for God to transform you from the inside out, and you have the potential

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to have the best Christmas that you've had in years. And whether that's with a spirit mate

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or not, y'all, that's the cherry on top. You knowing who you are more than ever before and

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being set free and feeling light.

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and experiencing more joy and all of those things,

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that's the real deal.

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So we hope that that is a part of your experience

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on this journey.

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But part of that is us looking for people

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that we can be a blessing to.

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Y'all, I'm gonna tell you a real quick story.

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I shared this actually in the chat

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during the prayer call this morning,

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but I wanna deposit this into your spirit tonight.

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Jackie talks a lot about what we do for others.

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We believe in this community that God will do it for us.

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It's not a name it, claim it,

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so please don't believe any of that stuff.

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But we've seen this in tangible ways

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and here's my testimony for you.

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When I was on the journey that you are now on,

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I had just finished my bootcamp.

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We used to call it bootcamp back then.

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It's now called the Heartwork Phase 1.

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I had just finished that just a few weeks prior

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to going on a retreat with this community, went to Austin.

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At one of the last nights we were there in Austin,

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Jackie and David did a night of prayer

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and worship at their home.

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Jackie released this really incredible word.

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I wish I remembered the whole thing.

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I just remember being really impacted.

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I cried, which happens a lot.

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Y'all, I get really emotional.

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I'm a sensitive girl.

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But she released this word that I do remember

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and she was talking about what I'm saying to you.

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What we do for someone else, God will do it for us.

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And she put out the call for us to be midwives

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in someone else's life.

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In the sense of that we would stand in the gap

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and pray and intercede and believe

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for someone else's love story.

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And I took that seriously that night.

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And they're actually, interestingly enough,

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we have another Bethany here tonight,

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but that night was a Bethany there

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and God like highlighted her to me.

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She was in the middle of really trying

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to walk out a love story.

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She had believed she met her spirit mate,

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but there was some resistance there and he wasn't sure.

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There was a lot of aspects to it.

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He was going through a lot of pain.

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He hadn't healed fully from the past.

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All of that to say it's a little bit longer story than this,

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but God led me to be that midwife for her in the spirit.

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And that's what I did.

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And so from that day forward,

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I went up and talked to her about it that night.

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From that day forward, I called her on a regular basis,

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voice memoed, how's things going?

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How can I pray for you?

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How can I pray for, and asked his name and all of that.

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Y'all, their lives got changed.

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And I'm not saying I'm the only person

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or reason that that happened,

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but I do believe that God worked in what I did.

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Does that make sense, everyone?

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And they got married.

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They did.

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And they're together and they are a blended family

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and it's really beautiful and awesome.

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And I just want y'all to know that I do believe

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that those seeds that I sowed prepared the way for me.

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I do.

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I think it accelerated my process.

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So I wanna encourage you,

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it doesn't have to look that way in this season.

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Maybe this season for you

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is just to do something small for someone else.

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Maybe you're not in the place to do what I did for them.

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Maybe yours is to send a card with an encouraging word

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to someone that God lays on your heart for that day.

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So you don't have to go big.

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Hey, let's just, how can we be a midwife

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or an encourager to other people in this season?

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We ask you to focus a lot on yourself during heart work

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and we still want you to do that, okay?

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We don't want you to shift into helper mode

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to help everybody else in their trauma.

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But I do think it's good to lift up encouragement

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to other people and see what God wants to do through that.

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All right?

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Okay, so the only other, gosh, the only other,

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I can't believe it's almost 10 after already.

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The only other thing I need to remind you all,

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just because we have some new ladies in here tonight,

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as well as those that have been in for a few weeks,

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it's time for the reminder, distractions will come,

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especially with the holidays approaching.

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Y'all that just started,

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don't get off track with the holidays.

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I know there's so much going on.

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There's gonna be parties and family and shopping

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and every reason that the enemy

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will send your way as possible.

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As many things as you can think of to get you off track.

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It happens all the time.

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There's no shame or blame in it.

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Don't feel guilt, but just understand

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that just keep doing the next best thing

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that you can do every day

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to move forward in your process, okay?

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Don't give up.

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Don't go off course.

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If you go off course, just get back on, okay?

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That's really the easiest thing.

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Just get back on and keep going.

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All right, let me pray for us.

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Father, thank you so much for your goodness.

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God, thank you for this season.

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God, that you are the reason that we celebrate.

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This week began the advent of hope.

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God, we can't have hope without you.

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And I thank you for sending Jesus,

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the light of the world.

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to light up all of the dark areas of our hearts of society

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and to bring truth and hope and resurrection power.

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We thank you, Jesus, that you died so that we could live,

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that you already won the victory for us.

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I thank you that you're gonna help us tonight

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to step further into the perfect union

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between the victory that you've already won

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and where we are right now,

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that you're gonna help us bridge that gap

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a little bit more.

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We thank you for divine healing and revelation

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flowing from heaven above and into our spirits.

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We thank you, God, that you are the great physician,

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that nothing is too hard for you.

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We've tried, some of us, so many times

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to figure things out on our own.

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We've done all the self-care and self-help classes

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and seminars and books and all the things

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that are out there in the digital world

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that we listen to on a regular basis,

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but God, at the end of it all, God, we need you.

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We need your healing power to flow into us

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because you are the one that brings healing.

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You're the one that brings transformation,

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that brings a life,

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that it's by the spirit of the Lord that we are free.

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So we ask you, Holy Spirit, to come and have your way.

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Weave in and out of our conversations

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throughout the teaching, even throughout this prayer,

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and I thank you that right now

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that you administer life and truth and hope

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even into the darkest places of our souls

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where some of us feel like we could never truly break free

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from situations, cycles, strongholds, scenarios.

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God, you know it all,

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but we thank you that you've brought freedom into our lives.

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You've given us the ability to be set free

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through the power and the presence

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of Jesus Christ in our lives,

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but also that you've invited us into relationship with you.

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We just say thank you,

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and I ask you to just continue to prepare our hearts

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to receive everything you have for us tonight.

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In Jesus' name, amen.

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Y'all, God is so good.

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He's so good, and he never gives up on us, ever.

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He never gives up.

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And when y'all are going through things,

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I just wanna encourage you to just look up.

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Just look up.

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And what I mean by that is so many times

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when I am coaching and working with people,

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what I find is when we look to,

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like during this process, you're looking inwardly,

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but you're still asking the Lord to guide the process, okay?

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So he's really the one looking in.

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He already sees it.

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He already knows it.

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So when we trust him,

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it's not so much you're getting self-focused, okay,

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and looking down and feeling that pressure.

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And if you feel depressed or oppressed at any point,

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the enemy, remember, he will try to resist.

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He will try to resist what's happening,

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but we don't have to be afraid of that

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because we know who already won, and it's Jesus Christ.

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So we can partner with that,

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and we can look up because where our help comes from,

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it comes from the Lord who is the maker

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of heaven and earth, everything that he made.

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Y'all, he could do that in a moment right now in our life.

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And that's hard for us to understand

248
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because sometimes we're like,

249
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well, why doesn't he just do that?

250
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We're guarding the spirit mate or this or that, right?

251
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We want this stuff right now.

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We do.

253
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And there's nothing wrong with that

254
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in the sense of wanting it,

255
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but what if we're not ready for it?

256
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What if God gave it to us right now,

257
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if the foundation he placed it on

258
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had all these cracks and fissures,

259
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and the weight actually caused your foundation

260
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to fall apart and break?

261
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Okay, that's the reality.

262
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Sometimes we think we're ready, and we're not.

263
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And sometimes some of us are in the waiting room

264
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a really, really long time, and we are ready,

265
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but we need to learn how to come out of that waiting room.

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Okay, and that's part of the process

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of allowing God to heal our hearts.

268
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And if y'all remember,

269
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we talk a lot about the broken heart in this journey.

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So what is the broken heart?

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Tonight, we're gonna touch on that briefly.

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Y'all have the content.

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I'm not gonna go too far into it.

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I wanna have more time for coaching tonight,

275
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but I want you to be thinking about a couple things

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as we journey through this conversation.

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What is your broken heart leading you into

278
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that is not a part of your true identity?

279
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Why don't you just start thinking

280
00:14:19.020 --> 00:14:20.940
about your own heart recently?

281
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Are there any areas where your broken heart

282
00:14:25.140 --> 00:14:29.980
has led you away from the heart of the Father

283
00:14:29.980 --> 00:14:33.060
and led you into things that are not part

284
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of the true identity of Jesus Christ,

285
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like the plan and the purpose God gave you

286
00:14:38.460 --> 00:14:39.460
when he created you?

287
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If you remember, trauma doesn't just hurt us,

288
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it's gonna create different versions of us.

289
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And those different versions of us

290
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can lead us down pathways and into situations

291
00:14:50.120 --> 00:14:53.040
and scenarios and dynamics with people

292
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that aren't healthy for us.

293
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And sometimes we're the ones

294
00:14:57.340 --> 00:14:59.380
that are creating the unhealthy.

295
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:01.700
Can I get an amen on that?

296
00:15:02.880 --> 00:15:06.880
Yep, sometimes it's us, you all, right?

297
00:15:06.880 --> 00:15:11.840
Yes, so we have to learn about

298
00:15:11.840 --> 00:15:14.720
who were we originally created to be

299
00:15:16.200 --> 00:15:20.960
before trauma and wounds and pain ever entered our world.

300
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I'm gonna read a little briefing from the book

301
00:15:24.800 --> 00:15:26.960
and basically I'm gonna just pick up

302
00:15:26.960 --> 00:15:29.240
where Jackie is talking about Beezlebub.

303
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Beezlebub is a name of the enemy that's used in the Bible.

304
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It's the Lord of the flies and here's where we pick up.

305
00:15:35.160 --> 00:15:36.640
I know flies serve a purpose

306
00:15:36.640 --> 00:15:39.720
in the decomposition process of organic materials,

307
00:15:39.720 --> 00:15:41.280
but I still detest them.

308
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However, knowing this nickname of the enemy

309
00:15:43.280 --> 00:15:46.140
helps us to understand how our heart wounds

310
00:15:46.140 --> 00:15:47.820
get infected with these lies.

311
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What flies do is they find an unhealed wound,

312
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a sore or some place of decomposition

313
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and they lay their eggs inside of that place.

314
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That's why I wanted you to think about

315
00:16:02.880 --> 00:16:05.120
where's your broken heart leading you

316
00:16:05.120 --> 00:16:06.920
that's not a part of your true identity.

317
00:16:06.920 --> 00:16:08.920
So I want you to be thinking about

318
00:16:08.920 --> 00:16:11.720
where do you have like open wounds right now

319
00:16:11.720 --> 00:16:15.040
or even you just maybe you don't realize

320
00:16:15.040 --> 00:16:16.820
or recognize you have an open wound here,

321
00:16:16.820 --> 00:16:20.320
but you just tend to get real stuck in a certain area

322
00:16:20.320 --> 00:16:23.480
and you can't move forward and you don't know why.

323
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I'm gonna say my best guess is that you have broken wounds

324
00:16:27.400 --> 00:16:28.480
underneath the surface

325
00:16:28.480 --> 00:16:30.560
that you just don't realize are there.

326
00:16:30.560 --> 00:16:32.440
And that's where the enemy's coming in

327
00:16:32.440 --> 00:16:35.020
and he's laying eggs in there

328
00:16:35.020 --> 00:16:40.020
and he's trying to grow a whole big patch of lies in there

329
00:16:40.440 --> 00:16:41.600
out of that one lie.

330
00:16:41.600 --> 00:16:43.080
That's kind of the way I'm gonna explain it.

331
00:16:43.080 --> 00:16:44.720
She goes on.

332
00:16:44.720 --> 00:16:46.760
They do this so when the eggs hash,

333
00:16:46.760 --> 00:16:50.240
the larvae will then have an unlimited food source.

334
00:16:50.240 --> 00:16:51.760
That's how that then grows

335
00:16:51.760 --> 00:16:54.680
because that unlimited food source are those open wounds.

336
00:16:54.680 --> 00:16:57.740
I'm kind of adding some to her book stuff here.

337
00:16:58.760 --> 00:17:01.040
These unhealed heart wounds, traumas and rejections

338
00:17:01.040 --> 00:17:02.800
become an ideal place for the enemy

339
00:17:02.800 --> 00:17:04.839
to sow his seeds and lies

340
00:17:04.839 --> 00:17:09.839
because our hearts are fertile wombs, W-O-M-B-S, wombs.

341
00:17:11.680 --> 00:17:13.680
Anything that gets inside of our hearts,

342
00:17:13.680 --> 00:17:15.720
you all reproduces.

343
00:17:17.440 --> 00:17:20.119
So what's getting reproduced out of your heart?

344
00:17:20.119 --> 00:17:21.800
And again, there's no shame.

345
00:17:21.800 --> 00:17:24.400
Like I've had literal days where at the end of the day,

346
00:17:25.079 --> 00:17:28.359
I'm like, man, I was more negative than normal.

347
00:17:28.359 --> 00:17:30.080
What's going on there, Lord?

348
00:17:30.080 --> 00:17:32.000
Like that didn't even feel like me today

349
00:17:32.000 --> 00:17:33.720
when I did that or thought about that.

350
00:17:33.720 --> 00:17:35.120
Sometimes I don't even say something.

351
00:17:35.120 --> 00:17:37.240
It's something I thought that I'm like,

352
00:17:37.240 --> 00:17:40.120
yeah, that didn't feel like me.

353
00:17:40.120 --> 00:17:43.140
So was there hurt underneath of that thought that I had?

354
00:17:44.120 --> 00:17:46.800
And just where we allow the Lord to help us unpack

355
00:17:46.800 --> 00:17:49.560
and recognize what's going on inside of us.

356
00:17:51.160 --> 00:17:52.960
A broken heart is a couple of things.

357
00:17:53.000 --> 00:17:53.840
It's a liar.

358
00:17:53.840 --> 00:17:54.880
So it's full of lies.

359
00:17:54.880 --> 00:17:55.960
We just talked about that.

360
00:17:55.960 --> 00:17:57.440
It's a puzzle.

361
00:17:57.440 --> 00:17:59.800
Oftentimes it's messed up

362
00:17:59.800 --> 00:18:02.680
and it says that we want things that we don't really want.

363
00:18:02.680 --> 00:18:04.760
Sometimes there's a lot of chaos in there.

364
00:18:04.760 --> 00:18:07.280
I can't tell you how many times I've coached people

365
00:18:07.280 --> 00:18:08.920
and even Jackie coached me.

366
00:18:08.920 --> 00:18:10.760
I'm gonna own this too.

367
00:18:10.760 --> 00:18:12.880
Y'all, when I first got married,

368
00:18:14.560 --> 00:18:17.600
I can remember telling Jackie I was bored one day

369
00:18:17.600 --> 00:18:20.120
and I felt terrible saying it.

370
00:18:20.120 --> 00:18:22.000
You wanna know why I felt bored?

371
00:18:23.080 --> 00:18:25.520
Because my life wasn't chaotic anymore.

372
00:18:28.040 --> 00:18:29.960
Yeah, food for thought.

373
00:18:30.880 --> 00:18:34.560
Sometimes y'all God sends us really good guys,

374
00:18:34.560 --> 00:18:37.520
but we don't want them because they're not chaotic.

375
00:18:40.240 --> 00:18:42.160
I still wanted Brian.

376
00:18:42.160 --> 00:18:43.040
I still loved him.

377
00:18:43.040 --> 00:18:44.160
Obviously I'm still with him.

378
00:18:44.160 --> 00:18:45.360
I was already married,

379
00:18:45.360 --> 00:18:49.120
but it was definitely an aha moment for me

380
00:18:49.120 --> 00:18:50.560
because I was like, oh yeah,

381
00:18:51.560 --> 00:18:54.000
I don't need all of that.

382
00:18:54.000 --> 00:18:56.400
I need to learn how to live differently now.

383
00:18:57.920 --> 00:19:00.040
I need to learn how to live without chaos

384
00:19:00.040 --> 00:19:03.840
and know that it's okay and actually really normal.

385
00:19:03.840 --> 00:19:06.160
And I can fill that space

386
00:19:06.160 --> 00:19:08.440
with a lot of other healthy things.

387
00:19:09.480 --> 00:19:10.560
So for some of you,

388
00:19:10.560 --> 00:19:12.160
that's going to be something

389
00:19:12.160 --> 00:19:14.320
you're gonna have to process through

390
00:19:14.320 --> 00:19:17.240
because if you grew up your whole life in chaos

391
00:19:17.240 --> 00:19:19.360
and then you went into chaos in marriage

392
00:19:19.360 --> 00:19:22.400
and some of you don't even know that you grew up in chaos.

393
00:19:22.400 --> 00:19:24.640
I love my husband's family.

394
00:19:24.640 --> 00:19:25.600
They're amazing.

395
00:19:26.440 --> 00:19:27.760
He had really good parents.

396
00:19:27.760 --> 00:19:31.360
They never fought in front of the kids, which is great.

397
00:19:31.360 --> 00:19:36.000
But the more that my husband met me

398
00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:37.360
and I coach all the time.

399
00:19:37.360 --> 00:19:39.560
So he hears me talking about this stuff all the time.

400
00:19:39.560 --> 00:19:41.720
I have a lot of heartwork conversations

401
00:19:41.720 --> 00:19:44.040
that we talk about things and process,

402
00:19:44.040 --> 00:19:44.960
not just our own stuff,

403
00:19:44.960 --> 00:19:47.080
but even like as we're leading people,

404
00:19:47.120 --> 00:19:49.040
there's heartwork to be done with staff

405
00:19:49.040 --> 00:19:50.560
and people and all this stuff.

406
00:19:51.880 --> 00:19:55.440
We've chatted a lot about his mom and his oldest sister

407
00:19:56.440 --> 00:20:00.000
and some of the dynamics there that he.

408
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.920
went through that led him to choose someone that was very similar to who I

409
00:20:04.920 --> 00:20:05.720
used to choose.

410
00:20:05.760 --> 00:20:09.480
And they were people that struggled with narcissistic tendencies and a lot of

411
00:20:09.480 --> 00:20:13.840
control and manipulation and things. And, uh, his mom is a good woman.

412
00:20:13.840 --> 00:20:17.280
And so is his oldest sister, but they struggle with those things too.

413
00:20:18.200 --> 00:20:23.120
And so I'm just saying that sometimes even really lovely families have

414
00:20:23.120 --> 00:20:26.640
some dysfunction and yellow flags y'all.

415
00:20:26.920 --> 00:20:31.080
And so we need to be willing, not that we're looking down on people,

416
00:20:31.080 --> 00:20:35.280
but just be willing to look at like, okay, what dynamic was I raised in?

417
00:20:36.120 --> 00:20:38.920
Not was it bad or good? You can look at it that way.

418
00:20:38.920 --> 00:20:42.400
I like to say, was it healthy or unhealthy? Was that,

419
00:20:42.560 --> 00:20:46.520
was that way when they did that healthy or unhealthy,

420
00:20:47.000 --> 00:20:51.400
you know? So process it that way would be my recommendation. Okay.

421
00:20:51.400 --> 00:20:54.880
Going on the broken heart is that liar. I said, puzzle.

422
00:20:54.880 --> 00:20:59.040
The third one is a pretender. The pretender shows up in all kinds of ways.

423
00:20:59.080 --> 00:21:01.640
One of the ways it shows up is mask.

424
00:21:02.440 --> 00:21:05.920
So I want you to put in the chat for me. I want to activate you for a minute.

425
00:21:06.480 --> 00:21:11.400
What are some of the masks that you all tend to find yourself putting on?

426
00:21:12.200 --> 00:21:15.040
And you might be like, well, I don't think I put on any mask.

427
00:21:15.080 --> 00:21:19.840
Some people will do things like, or say things like, uh,

428
00:21:19.880 --> 00:21:24.280
you know, perfect parent. I can never, you know, Oh yes. Always smiling,

429
00:21:24.280 --> 00:21:28.720
always trying to be perfect. Um, you know, boss, boss, babe,

430
00:21:28.720 --> 00:21:33.840
you got it all together. Um, all the things there's so many others.

431
00:21:34.200 --> 00:21:37.880
Let's see what else wallflower. Okay. Katie,

432
00:21:37.880 --> 00:21:39.760
I love that you put that in there.

433
00:21:40.200 --> 00:21:44.280
We talked this morning about how sometimes people say,

434
00:21:44.560 --> 00:21:46.040
I'm not saying some people aren't shy.

435
00:21:46.080 --> 00:21:50.600
I do think some people don't have personalities that are like other people,

436
00:21:50.640 --> 00:21:55.480
but I also have found that some people that say they're shy

437
00:21:55.520 --> 00:21:57.360
actually were not created that way,

438
00:21:57.440 --> 00:22:00.560
but they became shy because of the circumstances they grew up in.

439
00:22:01.080 --> 00:22:05.360
And so I always want to encourage you all just to always be asking the Lord,

440
00:22:06.040 --> 00:22:09.000
is this how you created me? Like, is this,

441
00:22:09.360 --> 00:22:12.240
was this a part of the original design you had for me?

442
00:22:12.960 --> 00:22:15.200
And just see what he says. All right. I love this.

443
00:22:15.200 --> 00:22:19.000
You guys are putting some really good things in there. Life is fine.

444
00:22:19.480 --> 00:22:20.320
Let's see what else.

445
00:22:23.040 --> 00:22:26.400
I'm confident. I don't have any insecurities. I just saw that one.

446
00:22:26.400 --> 00:22:30.440
I think a lot of people have insecurities way more than they'll admit something

447
00:22:30.800 --> 00:22:33.960
seeming like everything's fine. I'm strong and nothing gets to me.

448
00:22:33.960 --> 00:22:36.560
That's huge. Susan. Um,

449
00:22:36.600 --> 00:22:39.400
I had someone this afternoon that made a mention, uh,

450
00:22:39.440 --> 00:22:43.880
during one of the coaching parts, um, you know, she doesn't like to cry.

451
00:22:44.120 --> 00:22:47.440
Um, and so, or feels uncomfortable crying in front of people.

452
00:22:47.600 --> 00:22:49.560
Forget how she said, I don't want to misquote her,

453
00:22:49.560 --> 00:22:53.480
but just sometimes having that I'm strong. I don't need anybody's help.

454
00:22:53.480 --> 00:22:55.200
I've got this, um,

455
00:22:55.240 --> 00:22:58.200
kind of her reasoning is that she had worked through a lot of stuff.

456
00:22:58.200 --> 00:23:01.320
So in her mind, she's kind of been telling herself, well,

457
00:23:01.320 --> 00:23:05.720
I don't need to cry about this again. So that's another mask you all like,

458
00:23:05.760 --> 00:23:10.520
it's okay for us to cry again. If we need to, um,

459
00:23:10.680 --> 00:23:14.360
it's our party and we can cry if we want to. Don't you know,

460
00:23:15.280 --> 00:23:19.720
does anyone, Oh, I see someone Jen, Jen got me. All right. Yeah.

461
00:23:19.720 --> 00:23:22.000
I just wanted to throw that in there. Okay. Keep going.

462
00:23:22.560 --> 00:23:23.880
What else is a pretender?

463
00:23:23.880 --> 00:23:27.440
We pretend and say we want expensive things, um,

464
00:23:27.480 --> 00:23:31.800
because we think expensive things project status. Sometimes it's houses, cars,

465
00:23:32.200 --> 00:23:34.480
you know, sometimes it's clothing and purses.

466
00:23:34.520 --> 00:23:37.160
I don't think any of those things are bad. You all.

467
00:23:37.360 --> 00:23:40.840
I just think if we get out of balance and allow that to be our source of

468
00:23:40.840 --> 00:23:44.320
identity, that can be really unhealthy for us. Uh, again,

469
00:23:44.320 --> 00:23:46.520
I don't need help. I'm okay. Um,

470
00:23:46.520 --> 00:23:50.000
and anything that causes you to live below that true identity,

471
00:23:50.760 --> 00:23:52.320
Jeremiah 17, nine says this,

472
00:23:52.560 --> 00:23:57.080
the hardest deceitful above all things and desperately wicked who can know it,

473
00:23:57.720 --> 00:23:58.560
who can know it.

474
00:23:58.920 --> 00:24:02.640
That's why we got to seek the Lord because the Lord knows us better than we know

475
00:24:02.640 --> 00:24:05.200
ourselves. Proverbs four 23 says,

476
00:24:05.200 --> 00:24:09.680
keep your heart with all vigilance for from it flows the springs of life.

477
00:24:10.120 --> 00:24:13.320
So to keep our heart y'all, that means we need to be tending our heart.

478
00:24:13.720 --> 00:24:18.200
If you have a garden, if you don't ever attend that garden,

479
00:24:18.520 --> 00:24:22.960
the vegetables and whatever you planted in the garden may never come up,

480
00:24:23.280 --> 00:24:26.360
right? If they're not cared for properly, some might come up,

481
00:24:26.360 --> 00:24:31.360
but they might not produce the level of crop that could be produced if we tend

482
00:24:32.320 --> 00:24:33.600
and keep that garden.

483
00:24:33.600 --> 00:24:37.720
So I want you to be thinking about your heart as a garden. Okay.

484
00:24:37.720 --> 00:24:38.360
That womb,

485
00:24:38.360 --> 00:24:43.240
that place and that you would start to be more protective about what's going in

486
00:24:43.240 --> 00:24:46.360
to your heart. Have y'all ever heard about the eye gates in here?

487
00:24:46.400 --> 00:24:49.280
I'm pointing at my ears, but I'm saying eyes, eye gate, near gate,

488
00:24:50.200 --> 00:24:52.360
watching what goes in the eye gate, near gate,

489
00:24:52.360 --> 00:24:55.880
super important during this time as well. Um,

490
00:24:56.520 --> 00:24:59.960
because our hearts are highly impressionable.

491
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.800
They're highly impressionable.

492
00:25:03.800 --> 00:25:06.960
And I don't know, some of y'all are maybe nurses in here,

493
00:25:06.960 --> 00:25:10.440
but like, I know this because my mom years ago,

494
00:25:10.440 --> 00:25:13.160
when she had edema is when I saw it the most

495
00:25:13.160 --> 00:25:14.120
and learned the most about it.

496
00:25:14.120 --> 00:25:16.500
But like, when I would press,

497
00:25:16.500 --> 00:25:19.120
we would press on her skin to see how she was doing,

498
00:25:19.120 --> 00:25:21.080
it wouldn't bounce back.

499
00:25:21.080 --> 00:25:24.440
Okay, you guys can't, like mine bounces right back.

500
00:25:24.440 --> 00:25:26.600
So what I want you to think about is like,

501
00:25:26.600 --> 00:25:30.520
some things went in and pressed on our hearts

502
00:25:30.520 --> 00:25:33.600
and it pressed down and because it was so impressionable

503
00:25:33.600 --> 00:25:35.840
and there was maybe potential trauma

504
00:25:35.840 --> 00:25:38.280
or wounding already in there,

505
00:25:38.280 --> 00:25:42.240
in that area, your heart may not have bounced back yet.

506
00:25:42.240 --> 00:25:44.840
That doesn't mean it's not going to or that it can't,

507
00:25:44.840 --> 00:25:48.480
I just want you to acknowledge that that may have happened.

508
00:25:48.480 --> 00:25:50.400
So you might have a mark in there

509
00:25:50.400 --> 00:25:52.960
from the pressure that you went through, so to speak.

510
00:25:52.960 --> 00:25:54.800
And I'm not even saying it's a physical mark, y'all,

511
00:25:54.800 --> 00:25:56.080
I'm talking about spiritual,

512
00:25:56.080 --> 00:25:59.840
like kind of in the supernatural realm in your soul.

513
00:26:00.920 --> 00:26:02.240
I'm going to go through some lies.

514
00:26:02.240 --> 00:26:04.340
You all might have totally different lies.

515
00:26:04.340 --> 00:26:06.840
I'm just putting these out there to get you to like,

516
00:26:06.840 --> 00:26:09.440
start thinking about what are you thinking about?

517
00:26:09.440 --> 00:26:11.080
What are the things going on internally?

518
00:26:11.080 --> 00:26:12.400
We started this last week

519
00:26:12.400 --> 00:26:14.560
and this is kind of a continuation.

520
00:26:14.560 --> 00:26:17.800
It's not the same content, so don't check out on me, okay?

521
00:26:17.800 --> 00:26:21.480
All right, so are you hearing lies like this?

522
00:26:22.860 --> 00:26:24.400
You are insignificant.

523
00:26:25.800 --> 00:26:29.800
The definition of insignificant is not significant,

524
00:26:29.800 --> 00:26:34.560
lacking meaning, not worth considering, unimportant.

525
00:26:34.560 --> 00:26:36.920
Did anyone in your life ever tell you

526
00:26:36.920 --> 00:26:39.680
that you were not important?

527
00:26:39.680 --> 00:26:41.420
Maybe they didn't say it in those words,

528
00:26:41.420 --> 00:26:43.940
but maybe in their behavior, maybe the way they treated you,

529
00:26:43.940 --> 00:26:45.880
maybe the way they dismissed you,

530
00:26:47.040 --> 00:26:48.960
maybe when they betrayed you

531
00:26:48.960 --> 00:26:51.560
and sought relationship with another woman,

532
00:26:51.560 --> 00:26:54.500
there's so many different things that this could apply to.

533
00:26:55.200 --> 00:26:58.180
Lie number two, you don't matter.

534
00:26:59.420 --> 00:27:01.820
Lie number two partners with lie number one

535
00:27:01.820 --> 00:27:02.820
a lot of the time.

536
00:27:02.820 --> 00:27:05.100
Lie number three also does the same.

537
00:27:05.100 --> 00:27:08.200
Lie number three is this, you should be seen and not heard.

538
00:27:10.700 --> 00:27:12.740
You should be seen and not heard.

539
00:27:12.740 --> 00:27:17.340
I have a lot of ladies that in the older generation,

540
00:27:18.240 --> 00:27:19.580
that's how they grew up.

541
00:27:19.580 --> 00:27:21.460
We're saying it to the younger generation

542
00:27:21.460 --> 00:27:22.520
in a totally different way.

543
00:27:22.520 --> 00:27:23.700
I don't know if you all have noticed,

544
00:27:23.700 --> 00:27:25.340
the younger generation's really having

545
00:27:25.340 --> 00:27:28.180
a very hard time connecting with people

546
00:27:28.180 --> 00:27:30.900
because they're growing up on technology.

547
00:27:30.900 --> 00:27:32.700
And then we're shaming them for it.

548
00:27:35.260 --> 00:27:36.380
We're shaming the kids

549
00:27:36.380 --> 00:27:39.900
because they don't wanna go out and play in the yard,

550
00:27:39.900 --> 00:27:41.580
but that like literally,

551
00:27:42.580 --> 00:27:45.960
oh, we did this to them essentially.

552
00:27:47.820 --> 00:27:52.460
And so we're basically the kids when we are in,

553
00:27:52.500 --> 00:27:54.420
if you did this, please know,

554
00:27:54.420 --> 00:27:55.820
I'm not trying to shame you as a parent

555
00:27:55.820 --> 00:27:57.780
because if you're a single mama

556
00:27:57.780 --> 00:27:59.860
and you're just trying to make it through,

557
00:27:59.860 --> 00:28:03.860
sometimes giving your babe something to look at on a screen

558
00:28:03.860 --> 00:28:06.300
is an easy way to be able to work

559
00:28:06.300 --> 00:28:07.900
on something you're doing, okay?

560
00:28:07.900 --> 00:28:10.700
So please know this, I'm not saying this to shame,

561
00:28:10.700 --> 00:28:14.340
but there are a lot of times in some ways

562
00:28:14.340 --> 00:28:17.580
where there are parents that I've actually seen

563
00:28:17.580 --> 00:28:20.720
that don't want to spend time with their kids

564
00:28:20.720 --> 00:28:22.020
or don't know how.

565
00:28:22.540 --> 00:28:24.340
Let's say it that way too.

566
00:28:24.340 --> 00:28:26.220
They're emotionally having a hard time

567
00:28:26.220 --> 00:28:27.340
connecting with their kids.

568
00:28:27.340 --> 00:28:30.180
And so they're just putting their kids in front of the TV

569
00:28:30.180 --> 00:28:31.900
or in front of a device.

570
00:28:31.900 --> 00:28:35.400
And so whether the kids realize it or not,

571
00:28:35.400 --> 00:28:38.700
they're getting a subconscious message from their parents.

572
00:28:40.500 --> 00:28:42.700
And again, please don't receive shame from that.

573
00:28:42.700 --> 00:28:45.820
If that happened, if you have done that,

574
00:28:45.820 --> 00:28:47.820
every day we have from this day forward,

575
00:28:47.820 --> 00:28:50.700
we get to make a new day, we get to create a new thing.

576
00:28:50.740 --> 00:28:53.460
So we can always change anything that we're doing,

577
00:28:53.460 --> 00:28:55.460
myself included, okay?

578
00:28:55.460 --> 00:29:00.220
Lie number four, that we hear a lot, you're not enough.

579
00:29:00.220 --> 00:29:01.660
Maybe you don't hear that lie,

580
00:29:01.660 --> 00:29:03.460
maybe you hear the lie, you're too much,

581
00:29:03.460 --> 00:29:06.400
which I'm gonna go into that here in a little bit.

582
00:29:06.400 --> 00:29:09.360
Lie number five, your opinion doesn't matter.

583
00:29:09.360 --> 00:29:12.280
Lie number six, you're always going to have to beg.

584
00:29:13.780 --> 00:29:17.560
So for those of you that like, oh, I don't feel like that,

585
00:29:17.560 --> 00:29:20.460
do you ever feel like God passes everybody by

586
00:29:21.140 --> 00:29:24.740
and gives everybody else a baby or a partner or a house

587
00:29:24.740 --> 00:29:27.760
or whatever it is that you want and you're still waiting?

588
00:29:31.380 --> 00:29:33.140
Where you feel like you have to plead with God

589
00:29:33.140 --> 00:29:37.700
to give that to you, that's where that lie kind of comes in.

590
00:29:37.700 --> 00:29:40.780
Lie number seven, if they really knew me,

591
00:29:40.780 --> 00:29:45.600
they wouldn't accept me, love me, or choose me.

592
00:29:47.260 --> 00:29:49.740
And again, you all, these can sound different ways,

593
00:29:49.780 --> 00:29:51.340
but those are just examples.

594
00:29:51.340 --> 00:29:54.220
Lies show up in all different variations,

595
00:29:54.220 --> 00:29:56.760
but this is just to kind of get you started

596
00:29:56.760 --> 00:29:59.620
as you continue to lean into the Lord on,

597
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:01.400
What lies do you hear?

598
00:30:01.400 --> 00:30:05.340
What is really going on down underneath the surface that you may not have even

599
00:30:05.340 --> 00:30:08.800
realized was there until you're hearing this kind of stuff?

600
00:30:10.880 --> 00:30:17.040
All of the lies that I mentioned tonight have a common theme and it's low

601
00:30:17.040 --> 00:30:21.080
self-esteem. It's not understanding our value and our worth.

602
00:30:21.900 --> 00:30:25.320
It's also pauper and or orphan mentalities.

603
00:30:25.560 --> 00:30:28.640
All of the lies that I mentioned tonight have those common themes.

604
00:30:29.400 --> 00:30:33.760
Okay. So does it mean you don't have any self-esteem if you believe those things?

605
00:30:33.760 --> 00:30:37.680
No, that's not what I'm saying, but I am saying that are the way we view

606
00:30:37.680 --> 00:30:40.560
ourselves is below what it should be.

607
00:30:42.480 --> 00:30:47.320
We have to grow in our value and the way we look at ourselves and view ourselves

608
00:30:47.320 --> 00:30:51.200
and the worth that we believe that we bring into this world, not in a prideful

609
00:30:51.200 --> 00:30:56.920
way, but in a healthy, balanced way so that when we go into even friendships,

610
00:30:56.920 --> 00:30:59.480
you all, we want to connect with healthy people.

611
00:31:00.240 --> 00:31:04.960
As I said before, we don't want to be a bunch of givers attracting takers or

612
00:31:04.960 --> 00:31:07.960
even us being takers in this situation.

613
00:31:08.000 --> 00:31:10.560
And we're just getting connected to all these givers.

614
00:31:10.600 --> 00:31:12.240
We want to, Jackie talked about this.

615
00:31:12.240 --> 00:31:16.440
We want to have both in, we want to, we want to be able to both show up and give

616
00:31:16.440 --> 00:31:21.880
equally and kind of that, uh, give and take Brian and I, I love being a team

617
00:31:21.880 --> 00:31:26.560
with him and I genuinely feel like, uh, Jackie talked about this and I've seen

618
00:31:26.560 --> 00:31:30.880
it to be very true in our relationship as well on the days that he feels down.

619
00:31:31.040 --> 00:31:34.720
I'm up on the days I feel down, he's up where, you know, God

620
00:31:34.720 --> 00:31:36.240
uses us to balance each other.

621
00:31:36.600 --> 00:31:40.880
And so I believe that can be possible for you in romantic relationship in

622
00:31:40.880 --> 00:31:44.080
the future, as well as friendships, you know, that we would desire

623
00:31:44.080 --> 00:31:45.480
and find those kinds of friends.

624
00:31:46.560 --> 00:31:48.600
All right, here are some truths for you all.

625
00:31:48.600 --> 00:31:49.920
I have one truth in particular.

626
00:31:49.920 --> 00:31:51.880
I really felt led to mention this today.

627
00:31:52.360 --> 00:31:56.040
Um, there are a lot of people in our community that struggle financially.

628
00:31:56.040 --> 00:32:00.480
And it, it, even if you don't realize it, financial trouble

629
00:32:01.160 --> 00:32:03.760
also goes back to heart issues.

630
00:32:04.360 --> 00:32:04.840
Okay.

631
00:32:05.040 --> 00:32:07.880
You all, the more that we heal in our hearts, the more we're going to

632
00:32:07.880 --> 00:32:10.080
look at money differently as well.

633
00:32:10.440 --> 00:32:10.720
Okay.

634
00:32:10.720 --> 00:32:14.640
We're going to look at, um, how we balance our time regarding becoming

635
00:32:14.640 --> 00:32:19.160
financial stewards and actually growing in our understanding of how to be better

636
00:32:19.160 --> 00:32:24.640
stewards as well as how do we like not lose everything that comes into our pocket.

637
00:32:24.640 --> 00:32:25.520
That's how I used to feel.

638
00:32:25.520 --> 00:32:28.640
I felt like literally sometimes like, where's this going?

639
00:32:28.640 --> 00:32:29.400
I feel like a holes.

640
00:32:29.640 --> 00:32:33.440
I felt like constantly something would go wrong when I would get a bonus or something

641
00:32:33.440 --> 00:32:34.920
and that money would just be like gone.

642
00:32:35.360 --> 00:32:39.880
And, um, some of it was the way I was handling money, looking at money,

643
00:32:39.880 --> 00:32:44.280
thinking about money, obsessing about it, worrying about it, all of those things.

644
00:32:45.680 --> 00:32:47.560
When God just wanted me to trust him.

645
00:32:48.080 --> 00:32:52.520
He wanted me to grow in my faith and understanding of what his provision

646
00:32:52.520 --> 00:32:56.160
looked like, as well as his constant care in my life.

647
00:32:56.560 --> 00:33:03.280
Proverbs 12 49 says this, a wife of noble character is her husband's crown.

648
00:33:04.920 --> 00:33:08.000
Not her doormat, not his doormat, but his crown.

649
00:33:09.800 --> 00:33:17.120
So I'm curious how many of you actually have thought of yourself as a crown?

650
00:33:18.480 --> 00:33:25.200
Probably not a lot of you and it, and it doesn't mean again, it's not like,

651
00:33:25.520 --> 00:33:27.360
Oh, this is like us being prideful.

652
00:33:27.360 --> 00:33:30.400
Like we're this amazing gift, but why not?

653
00:33:31.920 --> 00:33:36.040
Do we believe we are a gift to our spirit mate when he finds us that

654
00:33:36.040 --> 00:33:37.840
we are a blessing to his life?

655
00:33:39.880 --> 00:33:43.440
If we don't believe that y'all, we are not going to attract someone

656
00:33:43.440 --> 00:33:44.840
that's going to treat us that way.

657
00:33:44.960 --> 00:33:48.400
Ephesians one five says in love, he predestined us for adoption to

658
00:33:48.400 --> 00:33:52.680
sonship through Jesus Christ in accordance with his pleasure and will.

659
00:33:53.000 --> 00:33:58.520
Isaiah 43 four says, since you are precious and honored in my sight,

660
00:33:58.520 --> 00:34:03.440
and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you.

661
00:34:04.280 --> 00:34:07.120
Nations and exchange for your life.

662
00:34:09.320 --> 00:34:10.000
I'm going to read it again.

663
00:34:10.000 --> 00:34:11.440
I felt that one this afternoon too.

664
00:34:11.440 --> 00:34:15.480
And I just, there's something on that scripture today in this community,

665
00:34:15.719 --> 00:34:22.679
Isaiah 43, four, since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because

666
00:34:22.679 --> 00:34:31.960
I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations and exchange for your life.

667
00:34:34.360 --> 00:34:36.679
Y'all God is going to bat for you.

668
00:34:36.719 --> 00:34:37.719
What do I mean by that?

669
00:34:37.760 --> 00:34:40.199
I mean, like he's fighting for you.

670
00:34:41.080 --> 00:34:46.320
He's going out ahead of you and he's, you know, making all these plans and

671
00:34:46.320 --> 00:34:53.920
preparations so that you can come into blessing and life and joy.

672
00:34:53.920 --> 00:34:59.600
And he's, you know, making all these plans and preparations so that you can

673
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:07.840
unspeakable and full of glory. The good, good life. Is it a journey? Is it a process to

674
00:35:07.840 --> 00:35:12.800
partner with Him in these truths? Yes, it is. Is it going to feel really hard some days?

675
00:35:12.800 --> 00:35:19.880
Yep, it absolutely is. Because if we're used to thinking negative things, that's a habit

676
00:35:19.880 --> 00:35:27.080
for us. And it will take energy and strength and courage to shift to the other things on

677
00:35:27.080 --> 00:35:31.800
a daily basis, sometimes moment by moment, but it will absolutely be worth it. And one

678
00:35:31.800 --> 00:35:37.000
day you all, one day our habit is going to be new and it's going to be good and it's

679
00:35:37.000 --> 00:35:41.520
going to create momentum. And guess what? Then God will reveal another one that we need

680
00:35:41.520 --> 00:35:46.520
to shift in and we'll start to shift. And before long, we're going to start moving at

681
00:35:46.520 --> 00:35:53.200
a whole different pace at a whole different calibration. Can you tell us the scripture

682
00:35:53.200 --> 00:36:06.640
reference again? Um, let's see. Proverbs 1249, I read. Ephesians 1.5. Isaiah 43.4.

683
00:36:06.640 --> 00:36:13.920
Here's the last one for you. Luke 12.7. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

684
00:36:13.920 --> 00:36:22.160
Don't be afraid. You are worth more than sparrows. Breakout question number one is this tonight.

685
00:36:22.160 --> 00:36:28.120
What lie have you been believing that you need to invite God into tonight to heal? And

686
00:36:28.120 --> 00:36:32.440
you might have more than one, but just, just pick one for tonight. Okay. What lie have

687
00:36:32.440 --> 00:36:37.600
you been believing that you need to invite God into so that he can heal it? Maybe it

688
00:36:37.600 --> 00:36:41.400
was a lie from something I said from the list or something else that rose up in your spirit.

689
00:36:41.400 --> 00:36:45.560
It could be something, you know, that God's been showing you this week, but what lie are

690
00:36:45.560 --> 00:36:50.320
you going to ask God to come into and heal tonight? I'm going to put you all in the breakout

691
00:36:50.320 --> 00:36:55.080
rooms. Please don't leave. Please don't leave when we start breakouts. They're super important.

692
00:36:55.080 --> 00:36:59.120
You all are going to get massive breakthrough from participating in these highly believe

693
00:36:59.120 --> 00:37:05.640
that I've seen it. I've heard it. Uh, if you're at work and you're not able to do breakout,

694
00:37:05.640 --> 00:37:10.040
that's different, but let me know that. So if I need to move people around, I can. All

695
00:37:10.040 --> 00:37:14.560
right, ladies, here you go. You're going to have, um, six minutes. So short, brief and

696
00:37:14.560 --> 00:37:18.880
powerful. Okay. All right, Rambo. That's totally fine. Collette. Have a good night.

697
00:37:23.280 --> 00:37:26.360
All right. Click to join those for me. Awesome.

698
00:37:36.080 --> 00:37:40.360
I know some of y'all work, so I know that some of you can't join. And we had a couple

699
00:37:40.360 --> 00:37:44.640
of ladies that had to duck out, but we're here this afternoon. So I know it's not always

700
00:37:44.640 --> 00:37:49.960
people leaving because they don't want to do breakouts, but if y'all can stay love for

701
00:37:49.960 --> 00:37:55.040
you to stay. All right. I think, uh, I'm guessing Nicole, I think you're probably at work. I

702
00:37:55.040 --> 00:37:59.760
know that you're normally listening in at work. Emily, are you able to click to join?

703
00:38:10.360 --> 00:38:28.880
Father, thank you so much for your goodness. Thank you, God, for the reminder that you

704
00:38:28.880 --> 00:38:33.480
are doing a work in all of our lives, far beyond what we can ever ask, think, or imagine.

705
00:38:33.480 --> 00:38:37.680
We thank you the right now that you would just be upon every lady and every breakout

706
00:38:37.680 --> 00:38:44.400
room. Um, hi, Emily. Hi. I went into the group, but then there's nobody, I think, because

707
00:38:44.400 --> 00:38:49.400
I couldn't tell if you were able to. Oh yeah. I was driving on my way home, but I stopped

708
00:38:49.400 --> 00:38:55.080
on the side so I can join. I can join the group. Yeah. Okay. Let me put you in there.

709
00:38:55.080 --> 00:39:04.680
Okay. There you go. Awesome. Father, thank you right now for the conversations that are

710
00:39:04.680 --> 00:39:09.440
happening. We just ask for continued revealings for healing, even for those watching the replay

711
00:39:09.440 --> 00:39:14.280
or here in the room with me while they're at work or traveling. God, we thank you for,

712
00:39:14.280 --> 00:39:19.560
um, just continuing to bring things out of darkness into the light Lord, um, that you

713
00:39:19.560 --> 00:39:24.640
would just bring, um, convergence of ideas and understanding and revelation that would

714
00:39:24.640 --> 00:39:31.520
bring insight and truth and transformation. We're to thank you that, um, yeah, Lord, we

715
00:39:31.520 --> 00:39:35.160
don't have to figure it out. We thank you that you can help us in this process. So we

716
00:39:35.160 --> 00:39:40.680
just, we just say right now, we surrender, we surrender everything to you, every idea,

717
00:39:40.680 --> 00:39:45.840
every preconceived notion that we have about how this healing process needs to look, feel.

718
00:39:45.840 --> 00:39:52.400
Um, and we just thank you that you are continuing to revive us, renew us and rebuild us from

719
00:39:52.400 --> 00:39:57.600
the inside out. We thank you that you are, um, Lord, we just thank you that you would

720
00:39:57.600 --> 00:39:59.920
come in and just where the enemy.

721
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.800
has sown lies into our spirits,

722
00:40:03.960 --> 00:40:06.440
or our souls where the wounds were there,

723
00:40:06.440 --> 00:40:08.000
we ask you to just come in

724
00:40:08.000 --> 00:40:11.160
and gently clean those areas out tonight.

725
00:40:11.160 --> 00:40:15.120
We thank you that you would bring divine healing oil

726
00:40:15.120 --> 00:40:17.960
just flowing down from heaven

727
00:40:17.960 --> 00:40:21.520
and flowing into every one of the areas of our souls

728
00:40:21.520 --> 00:40:22.740
that still needs mended.

729
00:40:22.740 --> 00:40:24.680
We thank you, God.

730
00:40:24.680 --> 00:40:27.600
Just like a river that it would flow through and cleanse

731
00:40:27.600 --> 00:40:29.280
every area that needs cleansed

732
00:40:29.280 --> 00:40:33.960
that you would bring truth and, yeah,

733
00:40:33.960 --> 00:40:36.320
I just keep hearing the word renewal, renewal.

734
00:40:36.320 --> 00:40:39.500
We thank you that new life is being birthed tonight.

735
00:40:39.500 --> 00:40:42.060
We thank you that we don't have to struggle.

736
00:40:42.060 --> 00:40:43.120
We don't have to strive.

737
00:40:43.120 --> 00:40:47.320
We can lean back and trust you.

738
00:40:47.320 --> 00:40:51.200
Psalm 139, 23 and 24 says this,

739
00:40:51.200 --> 00:40:53.520
God, I invite your searching gaze into my heart,

740
00:40:53.520 --> 00:40:55.280
examine me through and through,

741
00:40:55.280 --> 00:40:58.160
find out everything that may be hidden within me,

742
00:40:58.200 --> 00:41:01.600
put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares,

743
00:41:01.600 --> 00:41:04.440
see if there's any path of pain I'm walking on

744
00:41:04.440 --> 00:41:07.340
and lead me back to your glorious ways,

745
00:41:07.340 --> 00:41:09.640
the path that brings me back to you.

746
00:41:10.580 --> 00:41:11.420
Thank you, Lord,

747
00:41:11.420 --> 00:41:14.520
that you would take our feet off of pathways of pain.

748
00:41:14.520 --> 00:41:15.800
Lord, even right now,

749
00:41:15.800 --> 00:41:18.000
areas where we may not recognize

750
00:41:18.000 --> 00:41:20.420
that we are walking on pathways of pain,

751
00:41:21.720 --> 00:41:23.760
you know, we're deceived because we're deceived.

752
00:41:23.760 --> 00:41:26.160
And so, Lord, I ask you to bring revelation

753
00:41:26.160 --> 00:41:27.840
and insight to any area

754
00:41:27.840 --> 00:41:30.080
where we might currently be deceived

755
00:41:30.080 --> 00:41:32.380
through brokenness, through pain,

756
00:41:32.380 --> 00:41:34.340
where we might be having lenses

757
00:41:34.340 --> 00:41:36.400
that are altering the way we're looking at things,

758
00:41:36.400 --> 00:41:38.600
even including the way we look at your word,

759
00:41:38.600 --> 00:41:41.440
the way that we receive truth and understanding

760
00:41:41.440 --> 00:41:42.640
when we're in church services,

761
00:41:42.640 --> 00:41:45.080
hear worship, all of those things.

762
00:41:45.080 --> 00:41:47.320
Lord, I thank you that you would cleanse us

763
00:41:47.320 --> 00:41:50.560
and just bring hope in life.

764
00:41:50.560 --> 00:41:55.560
And yeah, Lord, that you would just create in us

765
00:41:55.800 --> 00:41:59.840
clean hearts of God and renew steadfast spirits within us.

766
00:41:59.840 --> 00:42:01.780
I thank you that you're taking us.

767
00:42:03.520 --> 00:42:05.000
Yeah, I just, ladies,

768
00:42:05.000 --> 00:42:09.460
I just saw almost like in my spirit, like a dusting rag.

769
00:42:09.460 --> 00:42:12.740
And the Lord is just dusting off any of the areas

770
00:42:12.740 --> 00:42:16.760
that even some of you, I'm just sensing that,

771
00:42:16.760 --> 00:42:19.280
like you've still loved the Lord

772
00:42:19.280 --> 00:42:20.460
and you've always loved him,

773
00:42:20.460 --> 00:42:22.600
but things have gotten a little dusty.

774
00:42:23.600 --> 00:42:27.100
And he's just saying he's gonna clean that up

775
00:42:27.100 --> 00:42:29.580
and he's gonna bring some new life and new hope

776
00:42:29.580 --> 00:42:31.640
and some new laughter and fun

777
00:42:31.640 --> 00:42:34.000
into your relationship with him.

778
00:42:34.000 --> 00:42:35.120
That word actually came up

779
00:42:35.120 --> 00:42:36.880
during the live session this afternoon,

780
00:42:36.880 --> 00:42:38.520
now that I'm even saying it out loud,

781
00:42:38.520 --> 00:42:41.920
that God wants to help some of his sons and daughters

782
00:42:41.920 --> 00:42:44.920
that have never believed us to know that he's fun.

783
00:42:44.920 --> 00:42:47.060
And he wants to invite people

784
00:42:47.060 --> 00:42:49.480
into that part of the relationship as well.

785
00:42:49.480 --> 00:42:52.440
God is also the God that brings conviction and truth

786
00:42:53.280 --> 00:42:54.440
and all of that stuff,

787
00:42:54.440 --> 00:42:57.560
but he's also a fun, loving, kind father.

788
00:42:57.560 --> 00:43:02.080
And he enjoys having that intimacy with us,

789
00:43:02.080 --> 00:43:04.120
that relationship that's a closeness.

790
00:43:04.120 --> 00:43:07.080
And I just imagine even like,

791
00:43:07.080 --> 00:43:09.400
I've seen some daughters like this with their dads,

792
00:43:09.400 --> 00:43:11.360
like where they're just having so much fun

793
00:43:11.360 --> 00:43:12.920
and all the things.

794
00:43:12.920 --> 00:43:15.960
And I imagine the father, God the father,

795
00:43:15.960 --> 00:43:18.320
is like that with some of us as well.

796
00:43:18.320 --> 00:43:19.240
Hi there.

797
00:43:20.240 --> 00:43:23.960
And that he's inviting all of us into that place

798
00:43:23.960 --> 00:43:27.600
of having fun and laughter in our relationship with him.

799
00:43:27.600 --> 00:43:29.040
Proverbs 13, 12 says,

800
00:43:29.040 --> 00:43:32.560
unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick,

801
00:43:32.560 --> 00:43:36.760
but a sudden good break can turn life around.

802
00:43:36.760 --> 00:43:39.120
Lord Bruce, thank you for sudden good breaks

803
00:43:39.120 --> 00:43:42.240
and sudden leaves in this community and beyond.

804
00:43:42.240 --> 00:43:43.840
We thank you that you're gonna help us

805
00:43:43.840 --> 00:43:46.120
to start to have hope in places

806
00:43:46.120 --> 00:43:47.800
we haven't had hope in a long time.

807
00:43:47.800 --> 00:43:51.920
God, that you would just breathe life, hope, truth, joy,

808
00:43:51.920 --> 00:43:53.760
that we would open up our hearts

809
00:43:53.760 --> 00:43:57.040
to receive everything new that you have for us.

810
00:43:57.040 --> 00:44:00.400
God, that you would help us to start to look around

811
00:44:00.400 --> 00:44:03.000
and see life around us color,

812
00:44:03.000 --> 00:44:05.200
where people have felt depressed and oppressed

813
00:44:05.200 --> 00:44:07.240
and just a lot of gray.

814
00:44:07.240 --> 00:44:09.880
God, I thank you that you would just open up their mind

815
00:44:09.880 --> 00:44:13.080
to receive the colors of the world in a fresh way.

816
00:44:13.080 --> 00:44:13.920
In Jesus name.

817
00:44:13.920 --> 00:44:16.480
If y'all have ever heard the song Wonder by Hillsong,

818
00:44:16.480 --> 00:44:17.640
that just came up in my spirit

819
00:44:18.480 --> 00:44:21.600
and I just said that, it's called Wonder by Hillsong.

820
00:44:21.600 --> 00:44:24.240
It's so good and I always think

821
00:44:24.240 --> 00:44:26.080
of all the beautiful colors in the world.

822
00:44:26.080 --> 00:44:28.640
God could have created the world so differently,

823
00:44:28.640 --> 00:44:31.200
but he created it with so much color,

824
00:44:31.200 --> 00:44:33.480
so much color for us to enjoy.

825
00:44:33.480 --> 00:44:36.800
And on days where you're feeling really stressed, ladies,

826
00:44:36.800 --> 00:44:38.320
it's really healthy if you can,

827
00:44:38.320 --> 00:44:39.760
if you live in a really cold area,

828
00:44:39.760 --> 00:44:41.360
you probably wanna stay inside right now,

829
00:44:41.360 --> 00:44:43.280
but if you live in a warm area

830
00:44:43.280 --> 00:44:44.920
or you're able to get outside,

831
00:44:45.920 --> 00:44:48.720
connect with the color that you see around you.

832
00:44:48.720 --> 00:44:50.640
That was something I learned several years ago

833
00:44:50.640 --> 00:44:53.000
and it really served me so well.

834
00:44:53.000 --> 00:44:57.320
Like when I would be really overwhelmed or stressed,

835
00:44:57.320 --> 00:44:59.360
I would listen for the sounds,

836
00:44:59.360 --> 00:45:00.200
I would look for.

837
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.080
the color, and y'all, the more I did that,

838
00:45:03.080 --> 00:45:05.280
the more colorful things became.

839
00:45:05.280 --> 00:45:06.640
It was really intriguing,

840
00:45:06.640 --> 00:45:09.880
and I believe that that can happen for all of you as well.

841
00:45:09.880 --> 00:45:12.080
All right, welcome back.

842
00:45:12.080 --> 00:45:13.400
Welcome back.

843
00:45:13.400 --> 00:45:15.680
Who is willing to share with the whole group

844
00:45:15.680 --> 00:45:18.040
what you shared in your private breakout group?

845
00:45:19.560 --> 00:45:21.200
Who wants to kick us off tonight?

846
00:45:23.840 --> 00:45:24.880
I will.

847
00:45:24.880 --> 00:45:25.720
Awesome.

848
00:45:25.720 --> 00:45:30.720
So I said that I've believed this for a long time,

849
00:45:30.960 --> 00:45:32.880
and I've identified it a long time ago, et cetera,

850
00:45:32.880 --> 00:45:37.040
but it just kind of keeps coming back,

851
00:45:37.040 --> 00:45:41.360
the lie that I'm insignificant and unimportant to God,

852
00:45:41.360 --> 00:45:46.360
and that that is why he doesn't give me the things, right,

853
00:45:46.720 --> 00:45:48.040
in my romantic life.

854
00:45:48.040 --> 00:45:52.420
So it kind of relates, those things kind of relate,

855
00:45:52.420 --> 00:45:55.700
and are married in a way, so.

856
00:45:56.420 --> 00:45:58.940
So when was the first time you had the thought

857
00:45:58.940 --> 00:46:01.300
of insignificance or unimportance to God?

858
00:46:03.100 --> 00:46:08.100
I think it was, and I've traced this back to my dad

859
00:46:09.340 --> 00:46:11.140
just not being emotionally available

860
00:46:11.140 --> 00:46:13.440
and really being physically there much either,

861
00:46:15.160 --> 00:46:19.740
and so feeling insignificant, unimportant to him,

862
00:46:19.740 --> 00:46:22.620
and then kind of by extension, I feel like,

863
00:46:22.640 --> 00:46:26.280
feeling like that about God, even as a kid.

864
00:46:26.280 --> 00:46:28.120
Yeah. Kind of extra, you know?

865
00:46:29.160 --> 00:46:30.000
What do you mean?

866
00:46:30.000 --> 00:46:31.800
You felt you were extra?

867
00:46:31.800 --> 00:46:33.120
Yeah.

868
00:46:33.120 --> 00:46:34.720
Tell me, what does that look like?

869
00:46:34.720 --> 00:46:39.720
Like, not wanting to be, like kind of a bother,

870
00:46:42.800 --> 00:46:45.500
like an extra person.

871
00:46:45.500 --> 00:46:46.640
Okay.

872
00:46:46.640 --> 00:46:48.920
So do you feel like at some point

873
00:46:48.920 --> 00:46:50.680
you believed that you were a burden?

874
00:46:50.720 --> 00:46:52.380
Is that what I'm hearing you say?

875
00:46:56.340 --> 00:46:58.000
Yeah.

876
00:46:58.000 --> 00:46:58.840
Okay.

877
00:46:58.840 --> 00:47:00.800
So we just, I think, uncovered something

878
00:47:00.800 --> 00:47:04.120
that maybe has made, like you mentioned when you started,

879
00:47:04.120 --> 00:47:06.100
this is something that you've kind of been seeking

880
00:47:06.100 --> 00:47:10.140
the Lord about before, and when you just said the extra,

881
00:47:10.140 --> 00:47:11.700
like I could have just passed over that,

882
00:47:11.700 --> 00:47:15.020
and I almost did, and the Lord's like, ask her about that.

883
00:47:15.020 --> 00:47:18.940
And so when I asked you to tell me what that meant,

884
00:47:18.960 --> 00:47:22.440
you ended up saying a bother, basically.

885
00:47:22.440 --> 00:47:24.720
And so I would encourage you to ask yourself,

886
00:47:24.720 --> 00:47:26.720
when is the first time you felt,

887
00:47:26.720 --> 00:47:27.880
and you don't have to answer it now

888
00:47:27.880 --> 00:47:30.320
unless it comes right up for you,

889
00:47:30.320 --> 00:47:33.800
when is the first time like you felt or believed the lie

890
00:47:33.800 --> 00:47:37.840
that you were a bother to, it could be anyone,

891
00:47:37.840 --> 00:47:39.720
to your parents, to whatever.

892
00:47:39.720 --> 00:47:43.000
I mean, and sometimes y'all, I'm just gonna say this,

893
00:47:43.000 --> 00:47:44.680
sometimes some of y'all came out of the womb

894
00:47:44.680 --> 00:47:48.880
feeling like that, and that's not truth.

895
00:47:49.940 --> 00:47:52.240
Like even when you were in the womb, God was,

896
00:47:52.240 --> 00:47:55.720
or not God, the enemy was trying to cause you

897
00:47:55.720 --> 00:47:58.600
to feel rejection before you were ever here.

898
00:48:00.120 --> 00:48:03.080
And that is literally proven that that can happen.

899
00:48:03.080 --> 00:48:04.880
So we're not gonna go into all that tonight,

900
00:48:04.880 --> 00:48:07.440
but I just wanna encourage you to lean into that

901
00:48:07.440 --> 00:48:12.280
because I believe that while it may be with your dad,

902
00:48:12.280 --> 00:48:13.240
I feel like it's something

903
00:48:13.240 --> 00:48:16.840
before he felt emotionally unavailable.

904
00:48:16.840 --> 00:48:18.280
I feel like there's something before that

905
00:48:18.340 --> 00:48:19.940
that needs revealed.

906
00:48:19.940 --> 00:48:22.620
And again, you don't have to worry about digging,

907
00:48:22.620 --> 00:48:25.560
but we're gonna just start asking the Lord about it, okay?

908
00:48:25.560 --> 00:48:27.860
Like you are, but I'm encouraging you to.

909
00:48:29.180 --> 00:48:31.420
And just see what he shows you.

910
00:48:31.420 --> 00:48:33.340
And I would encourage you to post in the group

911
00:48:33.340 --> 00:48:34.780
when you learn more about it.

912
00:48:34.780 --> 00:48:37.740
And it could be this week, it could be next week, whenever.

913
00:48:37.740 --> 00:48:40.540
Even if you end up being in phase two when it comes up,

914
00:48:40.540 --> 00:48:42.380
still post about it, okay?

915
00:48:42.380 --> 00:48:43.780
Super important.

916
00:48:43.780 --> 00:48:46.280
Awesome, thanks for sharing, yeah, appreciate it.

917
00:48:46.300 --> 00:48:49.020
Who else is willing to go tonight?

918
00:48:49.020 --> 00:48:50.020
I'll share.

919
00:48:50.020 --> 00:48:51.500
Awesome, would love that.

920
00:48:52.660 --> 00:48:53.780
Is it Lolita?

921
00:48:53.780 --> 00:48:54.940
Lolita, yes.

922
00:48:54.940 --> 00:48:56.020
All right, I love it.

923
00:48:56.020 --> 00:48:57.140
Go ahead.

924
00:48:57.140 --> 00:49:01.020
Okay, so I think for me,

925
00:49:01.020 --> 00:49:04.060
the kind of guy that I'm interested in

926
00:49:04.060 --> 00:49:06.860
is like a pastor or preacher or whatever,

927
00:49:06.860 --> 00:49:08.980
cause I'm always talking about the Lord

928
00:49:08.980 --> 00:49:10.340
and everything like that.

929
00:49:10.340 --> 00:49:13.700
And that like, I wouldn't meet anybody like that.

930
00:49:13.700 --> 00:49:17.080
And then I'm not high maintenance,

931
00:49:17.080 --> 00:49:20.200
so I don't look the look, you know,

932
00:49:20.200 --> 00:49:23.920
like, and I'm not the neatest person.

933
00:49:23.920 --> 00:49:26.760
So I don't, I think what I want,

934
00:49:26.760 --> 00:49:29.080
I don't measure up.

935
00:49:29.080 --> 00:49:31.120
I think that's what it is.

936
00:49:31.120 --> 00:49:34.960
Okay, so question for you.

937
00:49:36.920 --> 00:49:39.800
On the not, how did you say the last one?

938
00:49:39.800 --> 00:49:40.680
I'm not very neat.

939
00:49:40.680 --> 00:49:42.320
How did you say that?

940
00:49:42.340 --> 00:49:43.900
Yeah, I'm not very neat.

941
00:49:44.980 --> 00:49:46.780
I'm clean, I'm just not very neat.

942
00:49:46.780 --> 00:49:49.160
Like neat, organized, like neat.

943
00:49:51.060 --> 00:49:56.060
So basically you're saying that you feel like

944
00:49:56.460 --> 00:50:00.100
a pastor's wife has a certain role.

945
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.200
in a certain look, that that's what they look like and feel like and sound like.

946
00:50:04.200 --> 00:50:05.860
And you're, you don't fit that.

947
00:50:05.860 --> 00:50:06.700
Is that what you're saying?

948
00:50:07.500 --> 00:50:11.420
Yeah, I didn't realize that's what I'm saying, but yeah, I think so.

949
00:50:12.200 --> 00:50:12.460
Okay.

950
00:50:12.460 --> 00:50:14.940
So what if God wants to help you?

951
00:50:15.020 --> 00:50:18.420
I'm not saying that God has a pastor or a preacher for you.

952
00:50:18.480 --> 00:50:19.980
I don't know what he, who he has.

953
00:50:20.180 --> 00:50:22.360
Sometimes ladies, we think we want that.

954
00:50:22.360 --> 00:50:26.440
And I'm going to just tell you all it's, it's not, it's amazing, but it's hard

955
00:50:26.440 --> 00:50:28.560
to, okay, cause I'm a pastor's wife.

956
00:50:28.560 --> 00:50:29.640
So I can tell you that.

957
00:50:30.120 --> 00:50:31.880
If there's a lot that comes with that.

958
00:50:32.200 --> 00:50:36.480
And I can tell you, I've always like believed, even when I was married before,

959
00:50:36.520 --> 00:50:41.200
I really, I've always had a call on my life from day one, when I gave my life

960
00:50:41.200 --> 00:50:45.160
to the Lord, I like, I knew there was something like God was speaking to me

961
00:50:45.160 --> 00:50:47.940
a lot in those early days about his calling on my life.

962
00:50:47.940 --> 00:50:51.000
So I've always known that I have a calling on my life.

963
00:50:51.900 --> 00:50:55.520
And so I've always known that or believed that I was going

964
00:50:55.520 --> 00:50:58.320
to do ministry with my spouse.

965
00:50:58.640 --> 00:51:02.480
And that was even when I was married before, but when that all fell apart.

966
00:51:03.040 --> 00:51:06.400
For a long time, I kind of struggled with, okay, what is this going to look like?

967
00:51:06.400 --> 00:51:10.280
What if I kind of like what you're saying, Lolita, like, what if I never

968
00:51:10.280 --> 00:51:14.720
find this person, because for a long time I would keep attracting people

969
00:51:14.720 --> 00:51:19.300
that I felt like I was trying to kind of pull along with me and that

970
00:51:19.300 --> 00:51:21.320
wasn't healthy and that wasn't good.

971
00:51:21.760 --> 00:51:27.040
And so, um, one day I was listening to something and the, the minister

972
00:51:27.040 --> 00:51:31.440
was preaching and he said, you should be running in such a way that when

973
00:51:31.440 --> 00:51:34.320
you look over, you see them running too.

974
00:51:36.680 --> 00:51:39.680
And y'all, it's not always a pastor or preacher, but they could still be

975
00:51:39.680 --> 00:51:44.520
running hard after the Lord and doing ministry and serving in their calling.

976
00:51:45.040 --> 00:51:49.720
And maybe that is who God has for some of you, but like some of you, you're

977
00:51:49.720 --> 00:51:52.660
not going to even fully know what your spiritual DNA is yet, because you

978
00:51:52.660 --> 00:51:54.200
haven't met your spirit mate yet.

979
00:51:54.200 --> 00:51:58.240
And when y'all meet your spiritual DNA and both of y'all is going to get lit

980
00:51:58.240 --> 00:52:05.000
right up, but some of you maybe will end up in a relationship with someone

981
00:52:05.000 --> 00:52:07.880
that is a pastor, a preacher, a leader, whatever in the church.

982
00:52:08.520 --> 00:52:11.520
Um, so I'm not saying again, that that can't be the case, but here's the

983
00:52:11.520 --> 00:52:16.440
thing for you, Lolita, or anyone else that's resonating with what she said.

984
00:52:18.480 --> 00:52:20.520
Who told you that you don't measure up?

985
00:52:22.040 --> 00:52:23.720
Like, where did that come from for you?

986
00:52:25.200 --> 00:52:30.680
And I'm going to venture to say that long before you thought you

987
00:52:30.680 --> 00:52:35.280
wanted to be with a preacher, someone told you that you

988
00:52:35.280 --> 00:52:36.920
didn't measure up in another way.

989
00:52:37.840 --> 00:52:42.120
Yeah, I think so because I was dating a preacher's son.

990
00:52:43.240 --> 00:52:48.640
And at the time I was not, I think I was saved, but I just

991
00:52:48.680 --> 00:52:50.320
was not really living that way.

992
00:52:50.880 --> 00:52:55.120
And I had a baby out of wedlock and his family never accepted the fact

993
00:52:55.120 --> 00:52:56.560
that I had a baby on a wedlock.

994
00:52:56.560 --> 00:53:01.080
And so he couldn't be with me and things like that.

995
00:53:02.000 --> 00:53:02.560
Okay.

996
00:53:03.040 --> 00:53:03.640
This is huge.

997
00:53:03.640 --> 00:53:05.160
Have you ever processed this before?

998
00:53:07.760 --> 00:53:13.000
Um, I thought about it, but I don't know if I ever really processed.

999
00:53:13.800 --> 00:53:16.000
No, I don't think so.

1000
00:53:16.520 --> 00:53:19.840
I think this is a really big connection for you.

1001
00:53:19.840 --> 00:53:25.000
I felt it when you were saying it and God chose you and he chose your baby

1002
00:53:25.280 --> 00:53:29.120
and he's going to place you with a spirit mate that will love, you know,

1003
00:53:29.120 --> 00:53:32.840
whether you just have that one baby or additional kids that I feel like

1004
00:53:32.840 --> 00:53:35.560
God needs to heal that back there.

1005
00:53:36.240 --> 00:53:39.440
And there might be other things he reveals to you, but I encourage you

1006
00:53:39.440 --> 00:53:44.960
to do, um, even if you've already forgiven them for not receiving you

1007
00:53:44.960 --> 00:53:48.640
and not accepting you and anything else that comes up for you.

1008
00:53:48.680 --> 00:53:52.800
Um, but that you would choose to do a forgiveness prayer sheet towards, uh,

1009
00:53:52.800 --> 00:53:58.680
that family that maybe even, uh, the word rejection is coming up in my spirit.

1010
00:53:58.680 --> 00:54:00.360
So I don't know if you felt rejected.

1011
00:54:00.880 --> 00:54:02.480
I'm assuming that's underlying.

1012
00:54:03.480 --> 00:54:04.080
Yeah.

1013
00:54:04.720 --> 00:54:11.320
But I have done a lot of work and that one, I guess I didn't touch on.

1014
00:54:12.160 --> 00:54:12.440
Okay.

1015
00:54:13.120 --> 00:54:13.560
All right.

1016
00:54:13.560 --> 00:54:18.480
So this week we look forward to a report on how it goes when you start leaning

1017
00:54:18.520 --> 00:54:23.720
into this, uh, this area, Lolita, because, you know, as we say, the Lord

1018
00:54:23.720 --> 00:54:27.440
wants to heal the root sections, the root areas that these other

1019
00:54:27.440 --> 00:54:28.760
things grow up out of.

1020
00:54:28.800 --> 00:54:29.240
Okay.

1021
00:54:29.520 --> 00:54:33.600
And so even if that's not the, the total, you know, maybe there's other

1022
00:54:33.600 --> 00:54:36.720
things that God's going to reveal as you keep going, but it sounds like that's

1023
00:54:36.720 --> 00:54:39.400
the next place to focus on for right now.

1024
00:54:39.960 --> 00:54:40.200
Yeah.

1025
00:54:40.840 --> 00:54:41.080
Yeah.

1026
00:54:41.080 --> 00:54:41.760
So good.

1027
00:54:41.760 --> 00:54:42.160
Yeah.

1028
00:54:42.200 --> 00:54:42.960
Thank you.

1029
00:54:43.400 --> 00:54:47.960
And, uh, we'll be praying for God's absolute best for you because

1030
00:54:47.960 --> 00:54:49.200
he knows what it looks like.

1031
00:54:49.200 --> 00:54:51.520
He knows how they sound and all of the things.

1032
00:54:51.560 --> 00:54:51.960
Okay.

1033
00:54:53.160 --> 00:54:53.760
All right.

1034
00:54:54.160 --> 00:54:55.160
Who else is willing?

1035
00:54:55.160 --> 00:54:57.800
We have a few more minutes before we go into the next content.

1036
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:10.240
So I wrote down when you started talking, there's a feeling like I'm not good enough

1037
00:55:10.240 --> 00:55:12.560
or belong.

1038
00:55:12.560 --> 00:55:16.840
And that's leading to like fear and insecurity.

1039
00:55:16.840 --> 00:55:22.600
So when you listed the whole line by line, I felt like I could relate to most of it.

1040
00:55:22.600 --> 00:55:29.520
And then it's like the low self esteem and the orphan mentality, I think.

1041
00:55:30.080 --> 00:55:33.360
Um, when was the first time you felt like you didn't belong?

1042
00:55:35.360 --> 00:55:40.000
Um, I think as a kid, to be honest, because I'm the youngest of five.

1043
00:55:40.000 --> 00:55:45.520
And the older kids, I think they were just joking with me that I was never one of them.

1044
00:55:46.800 --> 00:55:50.880
Because I was I joked, like, the brother who's two years older than me was the oops.

1045
00:55:50.880 --> 00:55:52.480
And I was like, the hell no.

1046
00:55:52.480 --> 00:55:55.440
Like, I was the unwanted surprise.

1047
00:55:55.680 --> 00:55:58.000
Okay, this is stuff you all joked about as kids.

1048
00:55:59.200 --> 00:56:03.760
Yeah, I mean, they joked with me about it, because some of my siblings are like 10 years

1049
00:56:03.760 --> 00:56:04.640
older than I am.

1050
00:56:04.640 --> 00:56:05.840
Yeah, yeah.

1051
00:56:06.560 --> 00:56:13.040
So, um, interestingly enough, I'm not saying that all jokes come out of sarcasm or pain,

1052
00:56:13.040 --> 00:56:20.000
but a lot of times they do, especially when there are sarcastic things or what might be

1053
00:56:20.240 --> 00:56:26.400
what might be played off as like a joke, but like that created separation.

1054
00:56:27.760 --> 00:56:28.000
Okay.

1055
00:56:28.960 --> 00:56:33.280
Whether they meant to or not, I don't think they were trying to like hurt you intentionally.

1056
00:56:34.160 --> 00:56:38.080
At least I mean, I don't know their heart, but I don't it sounds like kids just playing

1057
00:56:38.080 --> 00:56:39.040
and saying things.

1058
00:56:39.040 --> 00:56:44.480
But I am wondering if there was any kind of like hardship that they went through because

1059
00:56:44.480 --> 00:56:47.520
mom and dad had additional kids, you just never know.

1060
00:56:47.600 --> 00:56:53.760
So I encourage you to come out of alignment with, um, how did you say it?

1061
00:56:53.760 --> 00:56:56.320
Your brother before you was an oops, and you were a what?

1062
00:56:56.960 --> 00:56:58.640
I was like the oh, hell no.

1063
00:57:00.000 --> 00:57:00.240
Yeah.

1064
00:57:01.120 --> 00:57:01.440
Yeah.

1065
00:57:01.440 --> 00:57:08.480
So even though that was a joke, I actually think that like your brothers and sisters,

1066
00:57:08.480 --> 00:57:12.080
you can't change them if they partner with that, but you don't have to partner with that

1067
00:57:12.080 --> 00:57:14.480
anymore, because you're not an oh, hell no.

1068
00:57:14.960 --> 00:57:18.480
God formed you and predestined you to be here.

1069
00:57:20.400 --> 00:57:26.480
Yeah, actually, um, that is actually a theme I feel like throughout my life with from my

1070
00:57:26.480 --> 00:57:33.920
family, because anytime I didn't fit the mold, or I would just buck and talk back or say

1071
00:57:33.920 --> 00:57:35.440
like, no, we're going to try it this way.

1072
00:57:36.000 --> 00:57:41.360
They would I have always gotten like, you're not one of us, you won't necessarily look

1073
00:57:42.160 --> 00:57:48.720
like all of us or that you're just kind of like, yeah, like you don't belong.

1074
00:57:49.840 --> 00:57:51.120
Okay, this.

1075
00:57:51.840 --> 00:57:54.400
I mean, you're you're very calm right now.

1076
00:57:54.400 --> 00:57:56.880
I'm assuming you've done a lot of work around this already.

1077
00:57:56.880 --> 00:58:03.120
But I'm just I mean, is this something that hurts you if you actually like think about

1078
00:58:03.120 --> 00:58:03.280
it?

1079
00:58:03.840 --> 00:58:04.800
Oh, yeah.

1080
00:58:04.800 --> 00:58:05.040
Yeah.

1081
00:58:05.680 --> 00:58:10.720
So I want to encourage you to not just pass that over anymore and not partner with that.

1082
00:58:10.720 --> 00:58:14.320
Like, I literally want you this week to come out of agreement with those things.

1083
00:58:14.320 --> 00:58:21.120
Because while the enemy tried from the beginning to cause you to feel like an outsider in your

1084
00:58:21.120 --> 00:58:22.800
family, I feel the Holy Spirit on this.

1085
00:58:23.440 --> 00:58:27.520
You were never an outsider, you were you were sent there to bring change.

1086
00:58:29.520 --> 00:58:33.600
I believe that with all my heart, I believe you were sent to your family to bring change

1087
00:58:33.600 --> 00:58:35.760
and transformation in ways that they needed it.

1088
00:58:35.760 --> 00:58:40.480
You carry gifts on the inside of you that God wanted in this world.

1089
00:58:40.480 --> 00:58:42.160
And he wanted them in your family, too.

1090
00:58:42.160 --> 00:58:43.520
They just didn't know what to do with them.

1091
00:58:45.120 --> 00:58:51.520
Okay, so you have a design from day one, and God chose you, he wanted you, he formed you,

1092
00:58:51.520 --> 00:58:53.760
he knew everything that he needed to be in you.

1093
00:58:54.800 --> 00:58:58.320
And so unfortunately, at times, people don't know how to handle all that.

1094
00:58:59.520 --> 00:58:59.840
Okay.

1095
00:59:00.560 --> 00:59:05.920
Um, but I believe in the days ahead, the more that you come out of alignment with that you

1096
00:59:05.920 --> 00:59:09.280
don't belong or agree with them that you're not one of them.

1097
00:59:10.000 --> 00:59:12.800
And that's where the enemy can have that foothold.

1098
00:59:13.440 --> 00:59:14.240
Does that make sense?

1099
00:59:14.960 --> 00:59:21.520
And so as you come out of agreement and allow God to heal you and help you know that you

1100
00:59:21.520 --> 00:59:25.120
are good, like he makes us good, ladies, he makes us good.

1101
00:59:25.600 --> 00:59:30.560
He's what enables us to become everything that he created us to be.

1102
00:59:30.560 --> 00:59:36.000
And so every day we can show up and be like, okay, Lord, like, I might not feel secure in

1103
00:59:36.000 --> 00:59:36.160
this.

1104
00:59:36.160 --> 00:59:38.240
I might not feel good about myself in this area.

1105
00:59:38.240 --> 00:59:40.800
But help me, Lord, help me to hear what your Spirit's saying.

1106
00:59:40.800 --> 00:59:42.640
Help me to heal a little bit more in this area.

1107
00:59:42.640 --> 00:59:45.760
I used to pray all the time, like literally daily.

1108
00:59:45.760 --> 00:59:46.560
It was almost a year.

1109
00:59:46.560 --> 00:59:48.320
I can remember when I started praying it.

1110
00:59:48.320 --> 00:59:51.520
I was in that relationship with the girl's dad, and it just wasn't good.

1111
00:59:51.520 --> 00:59:55.920
I can remember crying, sitting out in the car after I had some kind of argument.

1112
00:59:55.920 --> 00:59:59.840
I mean, there were arguments all the time with this guy, like all the time.

1113
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:07.000
And I can just remember praying like, Lord, help me to become more confident in you.

1114
01:00:07.000 --> 01:00:12.080
Help me to become more confident in you so that I can become more confident in me.

1115
01:00:12.080 --> 01:00:13.920
And I just remember praying that over and over.

1116
01:00:13.920 --> 01:00:18.440
Help me to know you more as love so that I can become more secure in your love and let

1117
01:00:18.440 --> 01:00:24.400
that change who, like how I show up, who, what I believe about myself, how I see myself,

1118
01:00:24.400 --> 01:00:25.560
like what I'm putting up with.

1119
01:00:25.560 --> 01:00:32.240
Like I just started like consistently praying that over and over and it did, it changed

1120
01:00:32.240 --> 01:00:40.160
me because the more that I asked him to show me who he was as love, like it just changed

1121
01:00:40.160 --> 01:00:46.520
the whole way I saw everything else.

1122
01:00:46.520 --> 01:00:51.120
So you are created in his image, my friend.

1123
01:00:51.120 --> 01:00:52.120
Thank you.

1124
01:00:52.120 --> 01:00:53.120
You're welcome.

1125
01:00:53.120 --> 01:00:54.120
Yeah.

1126
01:00:54.120 --> 01:00:55.120
So good.

1127
01:00:55.120 --> 01:00:56.120
That was so good.

1128
01:00:56.120 --> 01:00:59.600
Um, Jen, were you going to go, yeah, go ahead and go.

1129
01:00:59.600 --> 01:01:00.600
Um, yeah.

1130
01:01:00.600 --> 01:01:08.000
What I shared in my group was like a belief, like a lie about God, like God, um, is good

1131
01:01:08.000 --> 01:01:13.120
to me in all the other areas of my life, but he won't be good to me in this area.

1132
01:01:13.120 --> 01:01:14.120
Okay.

1133
01:01:14.120 --> 01:01:17.120
Oh, go ahead.

1134
01:01:17.120 --> 01:01:20.120
Were you, were you finished?

1135
01:01:20.120 --> 01:01:21.120
Yeah.

1136
01:01:21.120 --> 01:01:23.120
That was kind of the gist of it.

1137
01:01:24.120 --> 01:01:31.280
Or sort of like, I guess also, like I was saying, like, it's not just with single, single

1138
01:01:31.280 --> 01:01:32.280
people.

1139
01:01:32.280 --> 01:01:36.960
Cause like, I see my single friends and I see, like, I can see like, yeah, of course

1140
01:01:36.960 --> 01:01:39.600
God's going to do something amazing in their love story.

1141
01:01:39.600 --> 01:01:40.600
You know?

1142
01:01:40.600 --> 01:01:44.720
Like it's, so I feel like the lie is not just about singleness.

1143
01:01:44.720 --> 01:01:49.520
It's more about like me in the context of singleness with God.

1144
01:01:49.520 --> 01:01:51.280
Okay.

1145
01:01:51.280 --> 01:01:57.720
So as you're looking like back at life, like for anybody that can resonate, can I see hands

1146
01:01:57.720 --> 01:02:00.040
who resonates with Jen?

1147
01:02:00.040 --> 01:02:03.840
You can raise your physical hand, digital hand, whatever works.

1148
01:02:03.840 --> 01:02:06.760
If y'all, I should show y'all, if you don't know how to raise your digital hand, if you

1149
01:02:06.760 --> 01:02:10.440
hover over the bottom of the screen, there's a little raise hand thing, or you can click

1150
01:02:10.440 --> 01:02:12.440
on more and I'll show you how to do that.

1151
01:02:12.440 --> 01:02:13.440
Okay.

1152
01:02:13.440 --> 01:02:15.920
So we have a lot of people that relate to what you just shared.

1153
01:02:15.920 --> 01:02:19.360
I saw other people raising hands to physically hands up.

1154
01:02:19.360 --> 01:02:20.360
Yeah.

1155
01:02:20.440 --> 01:02:24.320
So here's the thing, ladies.

1156
01:02:24.320 --> 01:02:29.640
If we believe that we're, we're standing in a line, I'm going to give you a visual.

1157
01:02:29.640 --> 01:02:31.460
Hopefully this is something that can help you.

1158
01:02:31.460 --> 01:02:37.480
If you imagine yourself standing in a line and you're waiting for whatever, let's say

1159
01:02:37.480 --> 01:02:42.680
a spirit mate in this regard, and you're almost to the front.

1160
01:02:42.680 --> 01:02:48.040
And then all of a sudden somebody comes from back behind and they go in front of you, kind

1161
01:02:48.040 --> 01:02:52.280
of like when you're on the freeway and people start to do that, you know, it's kind of like

1162
01:02:52.280 --> 01:02:55.920
a not good feeling, right?

1163
01:02:55.920 --> 01:03:02.080
But that's not really how it works, but that's how some of us perceive it because of the

1164
01:03:02.080 --> 01:03:06.040
dialogue internally that we are telling ourselves.

1165
01:03:06.040 --> 01:03:11.600
And so I want to encourage you all, if you have ever struggled with that lie that you're

1166
01:03:11.600 --> 01:03:17.480
waiting in line and you're like being so patient and you're doing everything that God has told

1167
01:03:17.480 --> 01:03:23.760
you to do, and he just keeps passing you by because he's blessing someone else instead.

1168
01:03:23.760 --> 01:03:25.480
Or someone, there's not enough men.

1169
01:03:25.480 --> 01:03:29.760
We have this scarcity mentality that we get into as well.

1170
01:03:29.760 --> 01:03:34.000
And instead of like waiting and trusting that the Lord will give us someone and waiting

1171
01:03:34.000 --> 01:03:37.500
is not a stop doing stuff, you all.

1172
01:03:37.500 --> 01:03:40.520
It's a daily partnering with God and walking it out.

1173
01:03:40.520 --> 01:03:41.760
We don't put ourselves in park.

1174
01:03:41.760 --> 01:03:46.080
We don't put ourselves in the waiting room and just wait for God to drop our spirit mate

1175
01:03:46.080 --> 01:03:47.080
in our lap.

1176
01:03:47.080 --> 01:03:48.080
But we're moving.

1177
01:03:48.080 --> 01:03:50.320
We're doing what God is showing us to do in that season.

1178
01:03:50.320 --> 01:03:57.640
Jackie talks a lot about, we want to go and harvest in the field that is ready to be reaped.

1179
01:03:57.640 --> 01:04:03.080
Some of you all right now in this season, you're not ready to reap the spirit mate yet.

1180
01:04:03.080 --> 01:04:07.600
But there's another thing that you can reap because that's ready to be reaped because

1181
01:04:07.600 --> 01:04:10.520
the fruit is blooming and blossoming.

1182
01:04:10.520 --> 01:04:16.720
And so you can go reap that field right now while God is helping prepare the other field.

1183
01:04:16.720 --> 01:04:24.480
So don't feel like just, just because if it's not ready yet, that means it's not coming.

1184
01:04:24.480 --> 01:04:27.960
But some of us believe here's the kicker.

1185
01:04:27.960 --> 01:04:35.360
Some of you actually believe the seeds not in the ground.

1186
01:04:35.360 --> 01:04:36.600
What do I mean by that?

1187
01:04:36.600 --> 01:04:43.520
What I mean by that is you don't believe that it's ever going to really happen for you.

1188
01:04:43.520 --> 01:04:52.040
At the core, some of you don't believe that God has that blessing for your life.

1189
01:04:52.040 --> 01:04:53.920
And so that's where you need to get to.

1190
01:04:53.920 --> 01:04:56.800
You need to like really uncover where does that start for you?

1191
01:04:56.800 --> 01:05:00.040
When did the belief first set in?

1192
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.480
and that God was gonna bless other people and not your life.

1193
01:05:04.960 --> 01:05:07.600
Or that you should just settle and be okay being single

1194
01:05:07.600 --> 01:05:11.020
or whatever the dialogue is that started for you all.

1195
01:05:12.000 --> 01:05:14.760
So Jen, for you, I would just, you know, for everybody,

1196
01:05:14.760 --> 01:05:16.800
but just encourage you.

1197
01:05:16.800 --> 01:05:19.520
And I think that this is gonna partner

1198
01:05:19.520 --> 01:05:23.280
with some other things where I don't know,

1199
01:05:23.280 --> 01:05:25.720
like if you ever felt, do you have siblings?

1200
01:05:25.720 --> 01:05:27.560
I cannot remember.

1201
01:05:27.560 --> 01:05:30.640
I have half siblings from my dad's previous marriage.

1202
01:05:31.760 --> 01:05:34.440
Okay, so this is interesting.

1203
01:05:34.440 --> 01:05:37.160
The reason I asked you that is I kept seeing

1204
01:05:38.000 --> 01:05:41.040
like you having to give your stuff away to someone else.

1205
01:05:42.600 --> 01:05:46.440
And so I was like, okay, Lord, is this a sibling?

1206
01:05:46.440 --> 01:05:48.120
Like, you know, where it was yours,

1207
01:05:48.120 --> 01:05:50.360
but you felt like you had to keep giving it away.

1208
01:05:50.360 --> 01:05:52.880
And so I don't know if there's some healing

1209
01:05:52.880 --> 01:05:56.400
that needs to happen regarding the siblings

1210
01:05:56.440 --> 01:05:58.880
that are from the other marriage there.

1211
01:06:00.160 --> 01:06:03.000
Potentially even having, oh, I feel the Holy Spirit.

1212
01:06:03.000 --> 01:06:04.880
I don't know if you ever felt like you gave your,

1213
01:06:04.880 --> 01:06:07.160
like, it was almost like,

1214
01:06:07.160 --> 01:06:08.800
not that you had to give your dad away,

1215
01:06:08.800 --> 01:06:13.800
but like he got taken away essentially in your mind,

1216
01:06:14.360 --> 01:06:15.960
potentially, is this resonating?

1217
01:06:15.960 --> 01:06:19.080
There's something so huge on that, yeah.

1218
01:06:19.080 --> 01:06:23.840
Okay, okay, so I feel like that's why,

1219
01:06:23.840 --> 01:06:26.640
that's like at the root of why you believe.

1220
01:06:29.800 --> 01:06:33.040
Yeah, I'm gonna let that sit there for a minute.

1221
01:06:34.480 --> 01:06:35.920
Sometimes we need to simmer.

1222
01:06:37.120 --> 01:06:39.600
We need to simmer and marinate in something.

1223
01:06:41.760 --> 01:06:44.080
You have believed the lie

1224
01:06:44.080 --> 01:06:47.440
that you have to always give what's yours to someone else.

1225
01:06:49.360 --> 01:06:52.760
And that's not true, but in your heart,

1226
01:06:52.760 --> 01:06:55.720
because whatever happened there with your dad

1227
01:06:55.720 --> 01:06:59.080
and then seeing him be happy with other kids,

1228
01:07:00.040 --> 01:07:02.960
I think there's some exchange there

1229
01:07:02.960 --> 01:07:04.440
that happened in the spirit realm

1230
01:07:04.440 --> 01:07:07.400
where you partnered with lies

1231
01:07:07.400 --> 01:07:09.960
that you are subconsciously still partnering with.

1232
01:07:09.960 --> 01:07:13.520
You just haven't known it, okay?

1233
01:07:13.520 --> 01:07:16.440
And so as those get revealed more in the next few weeks,

1234
01:07:16.440 --> 01:07:18.160
because I feel like tonight's gonna be a huge

1235
01:07:18.160 --> 01:07:21.800
kind of burst this stuff open in a good way, okay?

1236
01:07:21.840 --> 01:07:24.760
Just remember, pain is profitable, okay?

1237
01:07:24.760 --> 01:07:27.000
Y'all say that with me, pain is profitable

1238
01:07:27.000 --> 01:07:28.440
and it's not long-term, okay?

1239
01:07:28.440 --> 01:07:30.160
In this process, you don't have to stay

1240
01:07:30.160 --> 01:07:32.000
in the intensive care unit forever,

1241
01:07:32.000 --> 01:07:34.440
but I think this is gonna probably feel a little painful

1242
01:07:34.440 --> 01:07:36.160
when you first go into it, okay?

1243
01:07:36.160 --> 01:07:39.680
But just don't quit, just keep moving through

1244
01:07:39.680 --> 01:07:42.440
because God has some real big healing for you

1245
01:07:42.440 --> 01:07:44.680
on the other side of this, I really believe that.

1246
01:07:44.680 --> 01:07:48.800
I feel like a lid is being kind of like opened up tonight.

1247
01:07:48.800 --> 01:07:51.440
Okay, y'all, God is so good.

1248
01:07:53.000 --> 01:07:56.560
He's so good, he knows what we need.

1249
01:07:56.560 --> 01:07:58.520
I said this this afternoon, I said it last week,

1250
01:07:58.520 --> 01:08:01.520
he knows how to get it to us, he knows where we are.

1251
01:08:01.520 --> 01:08:04.600
He loves you, Jen, he loves you

1252
01:08:04.600 --> 01:08:06.440
and he hasn't passed you over.

1253
01:08:08.440 --> 01:08:10.840
Sometimes y'all, we count ourselves out.

1254
01:08:12.320 --> 01:08:15.720
And I want y'all to know if any of you ever feel

1255
01:08:15.720 --> 01:08:20.720
like you made a mistake and you missed out on a good guy

1256
01:08:20.720 --> 01:08:23.479
because whatever reason,

1257
01:08:25.040 --> 01:08:27.000
there's plenty of good, healthy men out there

1258
01:08:27.000 --> 01:08:29.479
and God will bring someone to your life, okay?

1259
01:08:30.439 --> 01:08:31.279
All right.

1260
01:08:32.319 --> 01:08:35.800
All right, y'all ready to go into the next phase here?

1261
01:08:35.800 --> 01:08:38.240
I gotta move quick on this, revealing for healing.

1262
01:08:38.240 --> 01:08:39.920
I did this this afternoon too.

1263
01:08:39.920 --> 01:08:42.000
I wanna make sure we have time to explain it.

1264
01:08:42.000 --> 01:08:43.600
If we don't have time to coach on it,

1265
01:08:43.600 --> 01:08:45.600
we can unpack this stuff more in the group.

1266
01:08:46.479 --> 01:08:48.640
So I wanna make sure we have time to explain it.

1267
01:08:48.640 --> 01:08:52.600
I know this is a lot of work and I know y'all can always post

1268
01:08:52.600 --> 01:08:55.240
but I'll do my best so that you guys have time to share.

1269
01:08:55.240 --> 01:08:57.680
So I wanna bring up the revealing for healing cycle.

1270
01:08:57.680 --> 01:09:00.080
For those of you that are just starting, okay,

1271
01:09:00.080 --> 01:09:03.640
you're in week one or week two, don't worry.

1272
01:09:03.640 --> 01:09:07.120
This will be more and more explained in week three

1273
01:09:07.120 --> 01:09:08.880
but I'm still gonna show everybody

1274
01:09:08.880 --> 01:09:11.080
because we have people in all different weeks.

1275
01:09:11.080 --> 01:09:12.800
And so when we come together on the lives,

1276
01:09:12.800 --> 01:09:15.399
that's why I pull from all different weeks now, okay?

1277
01:09:16.160 --> 01:09:17.720
So you can still do those questions,

1278
01:09:17.720 --> 01:09:19.960
still come prepared because it gets your heart ready.

1279
01:09:19.960 --> 01:09:20.800
It gets your heart ready

1280
01:09:20.800 --> 01:09:23.120
for whatever we come in and talk about.

1281
01:09:23.120 --> 01:09:27.720
All right, so the revealing for healing cycle is this guy.

1282
01:09:27.720 --> 01:09:30.479
It is in week three, this worksheet here.

1283
01:09:30.479 --> 01:09:31.479
This is what it looks like.

1284
01:09:31.479 --> 01:09:32.680
Can everybody see that?

1285
01:09:33.680 --> 01:09:35.040
Yep, okay, awesome.

1286
01:09:35.040 --> 01:09:37.000
All right, so when you're working

1287
01:09:37.000 --> 01:09:38.120
on the revealing for healing,

1288
01:09:38.120 --> 01:09:40.040
y'all can do this with your notes tonight.

1289
01:09:40.040 --> 01:09:41.920
You can take notes on what I'm talking about.

1290
01:09:41.920 --> 01:09:43.680
So even if you don't have the worksheet yet,

1291
01:09:43.680 --> 01:09:45.080
if that's not unlocked for you,

1292
01:09:45.760 --> 01:09:48.080
you should be ready to start processing this stuff

1293
01:09:48.080 --> 01:09:49.279
even this week.

1294
01:09:49.279 --> 01:09:51.000
You're gonna start with the pink here.

1295
01:09:51.000 --> 01:09:52.800
I'm gonna walk through the cycle,

1296
01:09:52.800 --> 01:09:54.160
where it starts and where it ends.

1297
01:09:54.160 --> 01:09:56.200
And then I'm gonna actually give you some examples

1298
01:09:56.200 --> 01:09:57.960
from my own life, okay?

1299
01:09:57.960 --> 01:10:00.160
So the negative emotions, the pink is.

1300
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:00.920
where you're gonna start.

1301
01:10:00.920 --> 01:10:03.680
And Jackie touches on this in the Supernatural Hope as well.

1302
01:10:03.680 --> 01:10:07.420
So this is the sheet that she uses in that explanation.

1303
01:10:08.420 --> 01:10:11.440
Then it goes into the painful memory.

1304
01:10:11.440 --> 01:10:13.640
Okay, so negative emotion is the thing

1305
01:10:13.640 --> 01:10:16.960
that we experience, our emotion that's negative.

1306
01:10:16.960 --> 01:10:18.080
And then we have, okay,

1307
01:10:18.080 --> 01:10:20.840
what painful memory is that connected to?

1308
01:10:20.840 --> 01:10:22.000
And a lot of times people are like,

1309
01:10:22.000 --> 01:10:23.760
what's the difference between painful memory

1310
01:10:23.760 --> 01:10:24.800
and a trauma story?

1311
01:10:24.800 --> 01:10:27.320
I'm gonna kind of explain that here in a little bit.

1312
01:10:27.320 --> 01:10:29.220
But from the painful memory, then we're like,

1313
01:10:29.220 --> 01:10:32.940
okay, Lord, what trauma story or stories

1314
01:10:32.940 --> 01:10:35.460
are those painful memories connected to?

1315
01:10:35.460 --> 01:10:38.900
And then we go into what are the lies believed

1316
01:10:39.960 --> 01:10:44.260
being revealed that are connected to these trauma stories?

1317
01:10:44.260 --> 01:10:46.580
And you all, we don't stop there, okay?

1318
01:10:46.580 --> 01:10:49.220
We don't stop short of going for the truth.

1319
01:10:49.220 --> 01:10:51.740
We go all the way through, okay, God,

1320
01:10:51.740 --> 01:10:54.300
this is the lie I've believed for a long time

1321
01:10:54.300 --> 01:10:56.300
because of this trauma, because of this pain.

1322
01:10:56.300 --> 01:10:58.500
I'm having these negative emotions,

1323
01:10:58.540 --> 01:11:01.380
but Lord, help me to know the truth.

1324
01:11:01.380 --> 01:11:02.380
Why?

1325
01:11:02.380 --> 01:11:06.140
Because we need the truth to replace the lie, okay?

1326
01:11:06.140 --> 01:11:08.140
So the truth is kind of like what I had you all

1327
01:11:08.140 --> 01:11:11.060
start working on last week, those declarations.

1328
01:11:11.060 --> 01:11:13.540
I started teaching you and preparing you.

1329
01:11:13.540 --> 01:11:16.220
So that's gonna help you know how to do

1330
01:11:16.220 --> 01:11:17.340
that God reveals the truth.

1331
01:11:17.340 --> 01:11:18.380
It's the same way.

1332
01:11:18.380 --> 01:11:21.940
You're gonna look for the truth to replace the lie.

1333
01:11:21.940 --> 01:11:25.940
The truth to replace the lie is the opposite of the lie, okay?

1334
01:11:25.940 --> 01:11:27.600
And then you can find scripture to support it.

1335
01:11:27.600 --> 01:11:30.640
So I'm now gonna walk you through this in my own life.

1336
01:11:30.640 --> 01:11:32.840
And these are just some examples, y'all.

1337
01:11:32.840 --> 01:11:34.640
I have so many things I could have shared with you,

1338
01:11:34.640 --> 01:11:37.720
but this is what I felt led to share tonight.

1339
01:11:37.720 --> 01:11:42.720
So my negative emotion was fear, specifically fear a lot.

1340
01:11:44.120 --> 01:11:47.480
I dealt with all kinds of fear, fear of the dark,

1341
01:11:47.480 --> 01:11:50.560
fear of man, fear of letting people down.

1342
01:11:50.560 --> 01:11:52.800
But tonight I'm gonna be talking around

1343
01:11:52.800 --> 01:11:56.040
the fear around men, okay?

1344
01:11:56.040 --> 01:11:58.720
So I felt fear when I would go around men

1345
01:11:58.720 --> 01:12:00.020
on a regular basis.

1346
01:12:01.880 --> 01:12:06.880
And then the painful memory that was then connected

1347
01:12:07.080 --> 01:12:10.400
to the fear of man, the painful memory.

1348
01:12:10.400 --> 01:12:14.580
So to me, the way I have done this is I always ask God

1349
01:12:14.580 --> 01:12:18.760
for the overarching, kind of the umbrella memory, okay?

1350
01:12:18.760 --> 01:12:20.480
That the other stuff would fall under.

1351
01:12:20.480 --> 01:12:24.480
So for me, abused by men, that was my painful memory,

1352
01:12:24.480 --> 01:12:27.280
overarching kind of thought, okay?

1353
01:12:27.280 --> 01:12:31.200
My trauma stories are what is underneath of that.

1354
01:12:31.200 --> 01:12:34.680
So is still more general, okay?

1355
01:12:34.680 --> 01:12:36.880
It's not like all the details,

1356
01:12:36.880 --> 01:12:39.720
but it is kind of unpacking that a little bit more.

1357
01:12:39.720 --> 01:12:43.000
So here are my examples for my trauma stories

1358
01:12:43.000 --> 01:12:46.760
that come up under the painful memory of abused by men.

1359
01:12:47.640 --> 01:12:50.560
Sexually abused by brothers and sister,

1360
01:12:50.560 --> 01:12:53.720
emotional, mental, spiritual abuse, et cetera,

1361
01:12:53.720 --> 01:12:57.760
my ex-husband, my former husband.

1362
01:12:57.760 --> 01:13:00.160
Additional trauma stories that were similar in nature

1363
01:13:00.160 --> 01:13:03.040
to these other two that connected

1364
01:13:03.040 --> 01:13:05.720
to the larger trauma stories.

1365
01:13:07.360 --> 01:13:08.400
I don't know how old,

1366
01:13:08.400 --> 01:13:10.920
but I believe I was in like elementary school.

1367
01:13:10.920 --> 01:13:14.200
I went to an event with my mom at a friend's house,

1368
01:13:14.200 --> 01:13:15.800
like her friend's house.

1369
01:13:15.800 --> 01:13:18.880
And there was a boy there that tried to lock me in a room

1370
01:13:18.880 --> 01:13:20.720
and not let me out.

1371
01:13:20.720 --> 01:13:23.200
So that was underneath of there too.

1372
01:13:23.680 --> 01:13:25.880
And then also when I was in high school,

1373
01:13:25.880 --> 01:13:29.840
I had a friend like shove me into a bathroom

1374
01:13:29.840 --> 01:13:31.840
and put a little ball down my shirt.

1375
01:13:31.840 --> 01:13:32.680
She thought it was so funny.

1376
01:13:32.680 --> 01:13:34.920
And then she had this boy come in

1377
01:13:34.920 --> 01:13:36.880
and he wouldn't let me out of the bathroom.

1378
01:13:36.880 --> 01:13:38.720
Again, that might not sound like a big deal,

1379
01:13:38.720 --> 01:13:42.000
but those were very traumatizing things

1380
01:13:42.000 --> 01:13:43.440
that then kind of went up

1381
01:13:43.440 --> 01:13:45.280
under all this other abuse with men.

1382
01:13:45.280 --> 01:13:47.080
Cause they were all connected to men.

1383
01:13:47.080 --> 01:13:48.840
And then that last one,

1384
01:13:48.840 --> 01:13:52.120
the reason I included that is because my friend,

1385
01:13:52.120 --> 01:13:54.920
someone that I thought was a friend of mine,

1386
01:13:55.880 --> 01:13:58.840
traumatized me and betrayed me that night.

1387
01:13:58.840 --> 01:14:00.280
And I didn't even fully know,

1388
01:14:00.280 --> 01:14:04.600
like I knew that I felt unsafe when that happened,

1389
01:14:04.600 --> 01:14:06.920
but I never, like I kind of moved on from that

1390
01:14:06.920 --> 01:14:09.760
and tried to act like everything was fine in our friendship,

1391
01:14:09.760 --> 01:14:12.880
but really nothing was ever the same after that.

1392
01:14:12.880 --> 01:14:15.800
Okay, so I want you all to see how that can work as well.

1393
01:14:15.800 --> 01:14:18.920
Okay, so what were the lies that I believed

1394
01:14:18.920 --> 01:14:21.680
that were revealed connected to these trauma stories?

1395
01:14:22.280 --> 01:14:23.960
I'm just gonna share two tonight.

1396
01:14:24.880 --> 01:14:29.400
I believe the lie that all men were abusive, are abusive,

1397
01:14:29.400 --> 01:14:31.440
and that I need to be afraid of men.

1398
01:14:32.440 --> 01:14:35.840
Okay, God revealed the truth to me.

1399
01:14:35.840 --> 01:14:39.960
Truth number one, I don't have to fear or be afraid.

1400
01:14:39.960 --> 01:14:43.480
Isaiah 41.10 says, so do not fear for I am with you.

1401
01:14:43.480 --> 01:14:45.320
Do not be dismayed for I am your God.

1402
01:14:45.320 --> 01:14:47.040
I will strengthen you and help you.

1403
01:14:47.040 --> 01:14:49.480
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

1404
01:14:49.480 --> 01:14:52.120
Isaiah 41.13 says, for I am the Lord your God

1405
01:14:52.120 --> 01:14:55.280
who takes hold of your right hand and says to you,

1406
01:14:55.280 --> 01:14:58.920
do not fear, I will help you.

1407
01:14:58.920 --> 01:15:00.120
Truth number two.

1408
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.680
to counteract the lie that I was believing.

1409
01:15:03.680 --> 01:15:06.620
I can trust God to protect me.

1410
01:15:07.540 --> 01:15:09.600
Psalm 121, seven through eight says,

1411
01:15:09.600 --> 01:15:11.640
"'The Lord will keep you from all harm.

1412
01:15:11.640 --> 01:15:13.200
"'He will watch over your life.

1413
01:15:13.200 --> 01:15:16.040
"'The Lord will watch over your coming and going,

1414
01:15:16.040 --> 01:15:19.200
"'both now and forevermore.'"

1415
01:15:19.200 --> 01:15:23.120
Y'all, God wants to bring truth and hope to all of you,

1416
01:15:23.120 --> 01:15:24.340
and he wants to help you go through

1417
01:15:24.340 --> 01:15:27.160
that revealing for healing cycle to get you to that place.

1418
01:15:27.160 --> 01:15:31.560
So as you are processing your life and your trauma

1419
01:15:31.560 --> 01:15:32.600
and the things that you go through,

1420
01:15:32.600 --> 01:15:34.340
I hope that you all will not just use

1421
01:15:34.340 --> 01:15:36.600
this revealing for healing worksheet

1422
01:15:36.600 --> 01:15:38.120
while you're in heart work.

1423
01:15:38.120 --> 01:15:41.200
I hope that you will keep it as a tool in your tool belt

1424
01:15:41.200 --> 01:15:42.780
as you journey through life.

1425
01:15:42.780 --> 01:15:44.840
That is really our heart's desire for you.

1426
01:15:44.840 --> 01:15:46.680
And even with the forgiveness sheets,

1427
01:15:47.520 --> 01:15:49.040
even myself the other day, I was like,

1428
01:15:49.040 --> 01:15:51.000
man, I really need to get the forgiveness sheet

1429
01:15:51.000 --> 01:15:52.460
back out myself about something.

1430
01:15:52.460 --> 01:15:53.800
And I was talking with a friend

1431
01:15:53.800 --> 01:15:56.620
about a certain situation that had happened.

1432
01:15:56.620 --> 01:15:58.900
Y'all, these can be things that we can use

1433
01:15:58.900 --> 01:16:02.980
long after we're out of this kind of coursework and program.

1434
01:16:02.980 --> 01:16:05.760
All right, here's your breakout question.

1435
01:16:06.620 --> 01:16:08.940
What is a negative emotion or memory

1436
01:16:08.940 --> 01:16:11.580
that God is bringing up in your spirit tonight

1437
01:16:12.580 --> 01:16:14.780
for revealing, for healing?

1438
01:16:14.780 --> 01:16:18.340
Okay, what is a negative emotion or memory

1439
01:16:18.340 --> 01:16:21.140
that God is bringing up in your spirit tonight

1440
01:16:21.140 --> 01:16:23.160
that he is revealing for healing?

1441
01:16:23.160 --> 01:16:24.080
Okay, you don't have to know

1442
01:16:24.080 --> 01:16:26.340
all the other pieces and parts tonight,

1443
01:16:27.060 --> 01:16:27.900
but we're just gonna start

1444
01:16:27.900 --> 01:16:30.140
with either the emotion or the memory.

1445
01:16:30.140 --> 01:16:30.980
Because sometimes y'all,

1446
01:16:30.980 --> 01:16:34.300
we might not know what our emotion is, but we know a memory.

1447
01:16:34.300 --> 01:16:35.620
And then we can start to unpack

1448
01:16:35.620 --> 01:16:37.980
what is the emotion that we're feeling connected to that.

1449
01:16:37.980 --> 01:16:39.500
Does that make sense?

1450
01:16:39.500 --> 01:16:41.460
Okay, I'm gonna put you in the breakouts.

1451
01:16:41.460 --> 01:16:44.560
I am gonna change your rooms and recreate these.

1452
01:16:46.060 --> 01:16:48.580
And here you go.

1453
01:16:50.640 --> 01:16:52.340
Short, brief and powerful, ladies.

1454
01:16:56.340 --> 01:16:57.180
Okay.

1455
01:17:14.700 --> 01:17:15.980
Hi there.

1456
01:17:15.980 --> 01:17:18.500
Bethany, can I ask a question?

1457
01:17:18.500 --> 01:17:20.240
Yeah, let me just,

1458
01:17:21.520 --> 01:17:24.320
I need to get these other folks situated.

1459
01:17:24.320 --> 01:17:28.080
Hi, Lauren, did you get knocked out of the room?

1460
01:17:28.080 --> 01:17:31.280
Well, I was gonna type a message.

1461
01:17:31.280 --> 01:17:32.600
My daughter's not feeling well,

1462
01:17:32.600 --> 01:17:34.480
so I'm gonna have to leave.

1463
01:17:34.480 --> 01:17:36.320
That's okay.

1464
01:17:36.320 --> 01:17:37.640
Okay, all right, thank you.

1465
01:17:37.640 --> 01:17:39.000
Yeah, it's really fun, so sorry to hear that.

1466
01:17:39.000 --> 01:17:39.960
Have a good night.

1467
01:17:42.240 --> 01:17:43.080
All right.

1468
01:17:45.960 --> 01:17:49.200
Sorry, sorry, I gotta get these people situated.

1469
01:17:49.200 --> 01:17:51.920
Some people sitting in rooms by themselves.

1470
01:17:51.920 --> 01:17:52.760
Oh, shoot.

1471
01:17:55.020 --> 01:17:55.860
All right.

1472
01:18:08.640 --> 01:18:09.640
Go ahead, Stephanie.

1473
01:18:12.360 --> 01:18:14.200
Oh, good night.

1474
01:18:14.200 --> 01:18:17.000
So when you did your negative list, right,

1475
01:18:18.320 --> 01:18:22.760
I'm the one that relisted out to me

1476
01:18:23.720 --> 01:18:27.440
that's really like on my heart since then

1477
01:18:27.440 --> 01:18:32.440
is to be seen and not to be heard, right?

1478
01:18:32.800 --> 01:18:37.800
How come with that type of emotional thing?

1479
01:18:37.880 --> 01:18:40.240
Because, you know, I was raised in the Caribbean,

1480
01:18:40.240 --> 01:18:42.720
so you hear it a lot.

1481
01:18:42.720 --> 01:18:44.160
And I realized, you know,

1482
01:18:44.160 --> 01:18:45.520
what I shared in the breakout room,

1483
01:18:45.520 --> 01:18:50.360
I realized that that has been a part of everything I did.

1484
01:18:50.360 --> 01:18:52.480
I never realized until you said it

1485
01:18:53.200 --> 01:18:55.680
that everything I do now as an adult

1486
01:18:55.680 --> 01:18:57.760
is like, you know, I tiptoe around things

1487
01:18:57.760 --> 01:18:59.800
because you want to be quiet,

1488
01:18:59.800 --> 01:19:03.480
but I didn't realize that was like from a root cause

1489
01:19:03.480 --> 01:19:07.880
of those words here as a child.

1490
01:19:07.880 --> 01:19:12.880
So how would I pray about it or how would I deal with it?

1491
01:19:15.120 --> 01:19:18.800
Like, are you asking how to then go through

1492
01:19:18.800 --> 01:19:20.720
the revealing for healing cycle with it?

1493
01:19:20.720 --> 01:19:22.160
Is that what you're asking me?

1494
01:19:22.840 --> 01:19:23.680
Yeah, sorry.

1495
01:19:23.680 --> 01:19:24.520
I just didn't know how to say it.

1496
01:19:24.520 --> 01:19:25.360
So I think-

1497
01:19:25.360 --> 01:19:26.200
That's okay.

1498
01:19:26.200 --> 01:19:27.040
That's all right.

1499
01:19:27.040 --> 01:19:27.880
I'm just clarifying.

1500
01:19:27.880 --> 01:19:31.280
So the not to be heard, how did you say it?

1501
01:19:31.280 --> 01:19:32.120
I'm so sorry.

1502
01:19:33.640 --> 01:19:35.600
As a child, I would say you should be seen

1503
01:19:35.600 --> 01:19:37.000
and not to be heard.

1504
01:19:37.000 --> 01:19:37.840
Okay.

1505
01:19:39.080 --> 01:19:40.680
I just want to make sure.

1506
01:19:40.680 --> 01:19:45.680
So that would be the painful, like overarching memory.

1507
01:19:46.200 --> 01:19:49.680
And so I would encourage you to ask the Lord

1508
01:19:49.680 --> 01:19:52.000
if you don't remember how that felt

1509
01:19:52.840 --> 01:19:54.440
when you were told that as a kid,

1510
01:19:54.440 --> 01:19:55.760
I would ask the Lord, like,

1511
01:19:55.760 --> 01:20:00.120
Lord, help me to remember how I felt.

1512
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:02.540
when that happened with my parents?

1513
01:20:02.540 --> 01:20:03.620
Because at some point,

1514
01:20:03.620 --> 01:20:06.980
someone initially kind of did or said something,

1515
01:20:06.980 --> 01:20:09.780
even though it's a cultural thing,

1516
01:20:09.780 --> 01:20:11.800
there is a way that people are treated

1517
01:20:11.800 --> 01:20:14.960
that caused them to feel that way.

1518
01:20:14.960 --> 01:20:16.860
And so did you feel sad?

1519
01:20:16.860 --> 01:20:18.100
Did you feel afraid?

1520
01:20:18.100 --> 01:20:20.820
Did you, you know, but God can show you that feeling,

1521
01:20:20.820 --> 01:20:22.260
that emotion.

1522
01:20:22.260 --> 01:20:25.180
And then the other aspects of it,

1523
01:20:25.180 --> 01:20:27.140
if you go into that further,

1524
01:20:27.140 --> 01:20:28.980
and so like as the trauma story,

1525
01:20:29.020 --> 01:20:32.740
so when was a situation when that actually happened?

1526
01:20:32.740 --> 01:20:34.060
So for example,

1527
01:20:34.060 --> 01:20:38.380
when was there a time that you were heard

1528
01:20:38.380 --> 01:20:39.940
and got in trouble for it?

1529
01:20:39.940 --> 01:20:40.980
Does that make sense?

1530
01:20:45.100 --> 01:20:46.260
Yes, ma'am.

1531
01:20:46.260 --> 01:20:47.100
Okay.

1532
01:20:47.100 --> 01:20:49.060
And so then you're gonna go through

1533
01:20:49.060 --> 01:20:51.740
to the lies that you believe because of it.

1534
01:20:51.740 --> 01:20:56.300
So obviously lies that you could believe is

1535
01:20:56.300 --> 01:20:58.100
my voice doesn't matter.

1536
01:20:59.140 --> 01:21:01.500
You know, people don't care about how I feel.

1537
01:21:01.500 --> 01:21:02.340
I mean, there's,

1538
01:21:02.340 --> 01:21:04.740
again, I don't wanna tell you what your lies are.

1539
01:21:04.740 --> 01:21:07.260
Those are more like the Lord has to reveal the lies

1540
01:21:07.260 --> 01:21:09.060
that you've believed because of it.

1541
01:21:10.180 --> 01:21:12.740
But then as you unpack the lies,

1542
01:21:12.740 --> 01:21:15.300
that's what's gonna help you be able to know

1543
01:21:15.300 --> 01:21:18.820
how to then come up with the truth to replace the lie.

1544
01:21:18.820 --> 01:21:19.860
Does that make sense?

1545
01:21:22.420 --> 01:21:23.620
Yes, ma'am.

1546
01:21:23.620 --> 01:21:25.380
Okay, awesome.

1547
01:21:25.380 --> 01:21:26.220
Do you wanna,

1548
01:21:26.220 --> 01:21:28.340
they only have like a minute and 20 seconds left.

1549
01:21:28.340 --> 01:21:30.380
So it's okay if you wanna just hang here

1550
01:21:30.380 --> 01:21:32.740
while I pray for people.

1551
01:21:32.740 --> 01:21:33.740
Yes, ma'am.

1552
01:21:33.740 --> 01:21:34.860
All right, awesome.

1553
01:21:34.860 --> 01:21:37.580
Father, thank you so much for the conversations

1554
01:21:37.580 --> 01:21:39.900
that I even just had right now with Stephanie,

1555
01:21:39.900 --> 01:21:42.740
the conversations that are happening in the breakout rooms.

1556
01:21:42.740 --> 01:21:45.100
God, thank you for continuing to bring truth

1557
01:21:45.100 --> 01:21:46.060
and revelation,

1558
01:21:46.060 --> 01:21:48.700
even as we're trying to learn new concepts

1559
01:21:48.700 --> 01:21:50.900
and learn how to hear what your spirit is saying.

1560
01:21:50.900 --> 01:21:51.740
We thank you, God,

1561
01:21:51.740 --> 01:21:55.300
that you would reveal the emotions that we have felt

1562
01:21:55.660 --> 01:21:58.540
when we've gone through hard situations in the past.

1563
01:21:58.540 --> 01:22:00.140
Lord, I thank you that we would,

1564
01:22:01.180 --> 01:22:04.220
yeah, Lord, that those things would come to the surface

1565
01:22:04.220 --> 01:22:05.820
so that we would have a memory,

1566
01:22:05.820 --> 01:22:08.620
even acknowledge how we felt in the moment

1567
01:22:08.620 --> 01:22:09.620
that something happened.

1568
01:22:09.620 --> 01:22:11.500
So Lord, if we shove those things down,

1569
01:22:11.500 --> 01:22:13.500
I ask you to bring those things out of darkness

1570
01:22:13.500 --> 01:22:16.180
into the light so that we can feel the feel

1571
01:22:16.180 --> 01:22:17.620
so that you can heal the feel.

1572
01:22:17.620 --> 01:22:19.900
So Lord, we thank you in advance for doing that.

1573
01:22:19.900 --> 01:22:22.980
We thank you, God, for bringing truth and revelation.

1574
01:22:22.980 --> 01:22:25.420
We thank you for resurrection power

1575
01:22:25.420 --> 01:22:28.380
that we came to know through what you did with Jesus Christ

1576
01:22:28.380 --> 01:22:30.300
when he was risen from the grave,

1577
01:22:30.300 --> 01:22:32.380
the same power that like healed him,

1578
01:22:32.380 --> 01:22:34.220
rose him, resurrected him.

1579
01:22:34.220 --> 01:22:36.340
God is working in us, it's living in us.

1580
01:22:36.340 --> 01:22:38.020
We thank you, God, that you can come

1581
01:22:38.020 --> 01:22:41.620
and just revive us in every area of our lives.

1582
01:22:41.620 --> 01:22:44.540
We thank you that you would awaken us,

1583
01:22:44.540 --> 01:22:47.300
awake, awake, oh sleeper, rise up from the dead.

1584
01:22:47.300 --> 01:22:49.460
We thank you that you're gonna breathe life

1585
01:22:49.460 --> 01:22:52.220
into every dead situation, into every dead area.

1586
01:22:52.260 --> 01:22:53.900
You're gonna help us to hear

1587
01:22:53.900 --> 01:22:55.660
what your spirit is saying about us

1588
01:22:55.660 --> 01:22:58.460
louder than any voice of the enemy in this week ahead.

1589
01:22:58.460 --> 01:23:00.380
We thank you, God, that you would guard and protect

1590
01:23:00.380 --> 01:23:02.500
and keep watch over us and our families.

1591
01:23:02.500 --> 01:23:04.500
We thank you that you, even right now,

1592
01:23:04.500 --> 01:23:05.900
your eyes are always on us.

1593
01:23:05.900 --> 01:23:07.860
You don't slumber or sleep.

1594
01:23:08.780 --> 01:23:11.020
We thank you that you're working on our behalf,

1595
01:23:11.020 --> 01:23:13.780
even right now, God, in ways that we can't even ask,

1596
01:23:13.780 --> 01:23:14.980
think or imagine.

1597
01:23:14.980 --> 01:23:16.820
I thank you, God, that your word declares,

1598
01:23:16.820 --> 01:23:18.780
even as my husband preached yesterday,

1599
01:23:18.780 --> 01:23:21.300
the reminder of the fact that we are the apple

1600
01:23:21.300 --> 01:23:23.260
of your eye, Lord.

1601
01:23:23.260 --> 01:23:26.420
And that actually means little man in the eye.

1602
01:23:26.420 --> 01:23:28.540
So, God, that you actually,

1603
01:23:28.540 --> 01:23:31.060
that means that we are in the reflection of your eye,

1604
01:23:31.060 --> 01:23:33.100
which means you are close to us.

1605
01:23:33.100 --> 01:23:37.340
You're close enough that we can actually see ourselves

1606
01:23:37.340 --> 01:23:40.020
in your eye, in the apple of your eye,

1607
01:23:40.020 --> 01:23:40.860
the core of your eye.

1608
01:23:40.860 --> 01:23:42.700
So, Lord, I thank you that you'll help us

1609
01:23:42.700 --> 01:23:44.620
to not be afraid of your presence,

1610
01:23:44.620 --> 01:23:49.140
to know that you love us and that you care so much about us

1611
01:23:49.140 --> 01:23:50.740
and wanna see good things in our lives.

1612
01:23:51.180 --> 01:23:54.420
We thank you that you'll help us to partner with God,

1613
01:23:54.420 --> 01:23:56.420
that you are doing good things in our life,

1614
01:23:56.420 --> 01:23:59.340
that we can expect good things in the days ahead

1615
01:23:59.340 --> 01:24:00.780
and come out of agreement,

1616
01:24:00.780 --> 01:24:04.700
aligned with the lie that life is always going to be hard.

1617
01:24:04.700 --> 01:24:07.140
In Jesus' name, welcome back.

1618
01:24:07.140 --> 01:24:10.180
Praise the Lord, y'all, so much good stuff is happening.

1619
01:24:10.180 --> 01:24:12.060
Who is willing to share with the whole group

1620
01:24:12.060 --> 01:24:14.460
what you shared in your breakout?

1621
01:24:14.460 --> 01:24:16.740
We probably have time for maybe two.

1622
01:24:16.740 --> 01:24:18.500
I'm not sure, we'll see how it goes.

1623
01:24:18.540 --> 01:24:21.580
Anna, sorry, I had to make you proud a couple times here.

1624
01:24:21.580 --> 01:24:22.420
Oh, that's okay.

1625
01:24:25.500 --> 01:24:29.460
So, I actually put this in the like week check-in

1626
01:24:29.460 --> 01:24:31.100
as well earlier today.

1627
01:24:31.100 --> 01:24:33.140
So, it was just maybe a couple hours ago,

1628
01:24:33.140 --> 01:24:35.820
so maybe nobody has seen it yet, but I did share it.

1629
01:24:35.820 --> 01:24:39.260
I feel like the Lord, the past like a week and a half

1630
01:24:39.260 --> 01:24:42.780
has really been putting his finger on like feeling

1631
01:24:44.460 --> 01:24:45.620
like abandonment.

1632
01:24:45.620 --> 01:24:48.380
And it's weird because I don't think of myself

1633
01:24:49.260 --> 01:24:51.940
as having been neglected per se,

1634
01:24:51.940 --> 01:24:54.300
but I've just been like thinking back on,

1635
01:24:55.340 --> 01:24:57.500
you know, my dad traveled a lot for work

1636
01:24:57.500 --> 01:25:00.100
and so he was gone during the week.

1637
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:03.200
and my mom clearly favored my brother.

1638
01:25:03.200 --> 01:25:05.360
And over the past like 10 years,

1639
01:25:05.360 --> 01:25:09.320
I've lost three best friends, like just been ghosted.

1640
01:25:09.320 --> 01:25:11.920
And one of them, I know the reason,

1641
01:25:11.920 --> 01:25:15.120
but the other ones just never told me the reason of it.

1642
01:25:15.120 --> 01:25:16.520
And so the thing when you had asked,

1643
01:25:16.520 --> 01:25:19.800
like what's coming up this evening,

1644
01:25:19.800 --> 01:25:22.320
and this is actually, originally,

1645
01:25:22.320 --> 01:25:23.880
I didn't like connect the dot,

1646
01:25:23.880 --> 01:25:26.120
but in the breakout room, we were able to connect a dot.

1647
01:25:26.120 --> 01:25:27.600
But basically this, and again,

1648
01:25:27.640 --> 01:25:30.480
I don't know why this is coming up from like 30 years ago,

1649
01:25:30.480 --> 01:25:31.480
but I was in middle school

1650
01:25:31.480 --> 01:25:33.560
and I was really interested in a guy

1651
01:25:33.560 --> 01:25:34.960
and he was interested in me,

1652
01:25:34.960 --> 01:25:37.960
but he was also interested in one of my friends.

1653
01:25:37.960 --> 01:25:38.940
And we weren't best friends,

1654
01:25:38.940 --> 01:25:42.120
but we were pretty good friends.

1655
01:25:42.120 --> 01:25:44.860
And he had told me, Anna, I'm interested in you,

1656
01:25:44.860 --> 01:25:46.560
but I'm also interested in your friend

1657
01:25:46.560 --> 01:25:48.920
and I'm just not sure who I should choose.

1658
01:25:48.920 --> 01:25:50.560
And I was pretty supportive of it and saying,

1659
01:25:50.560 --> 01:25:53.640
well, if you feel like you like her more,

1660
01:25:53.640 --> 01:25:56.680
then I'll still be your friend, that's okay.

1661
01:25:56.680 --> 01:25:58.360
And then he ended up choosing her.

1662
01:25:58.360 --> 01:26:00.480
And so when we talked about it in the breakout room,

1663
01:26:00.480 --> 01:26:02.360
we were talking about,

1664
01:26:02.360 --> 01:26:04.400
maybe it's not so much abandonment,

1665
01:26:04.400 --> 01:26:06.340
but like not being chosen.

1666
01:26:09.160 --> 01:26:10.760
Interesting, so good.

1667
01:26:10.760 --> 01:26:14.080
I also am kind of wondering,

1668
01:26:15.120 --> 01:26:17.400
how did you really feel about this boy?

1669
01:26:18.520 --> 01:26:20.640
Oh, I really wanted him to like me.

1670
01:26:20.640 --> 01:26:23.060
I really wanted to be in a relationship with him.

1671
01:26:23.060 --> 01:26:24.420
And so it's always been,

1672
01:26:25.340 --> 01:26:28.580
I've always been a giving person

1673
01:26:28.580 --> 01:26:31.260
and willing to self-sacrifice.

1674
01:26:31.260 --> 01:26:34.360
And so to me, as much as I wanted to be with him,

1675
01:26:34.360 --> 01:26:36.740
I was like, well, if he likes my friend

1676
01:26:36.740 --> 01:26:38.780
and that's what he really wants

1677
01:26:38.780 --> 01:26:40.260
and that's what she really wants,

1678
01:26:40.260 --> 01:26:44.100
then why would I stand in the way of that?

1679
01:26:44.100 --> 01:26:47.380
Right, and I understand your thought process there

1680
01:26:47.380 --> 01:26:48.780
because of what you said to us,

1681
01:26:48.780 --> 01:26:51.060
but here's what I feel like God

1682
01:26:51.060 --> 01:26:53.140
is asking me to pull out for you.

1683
01:26:53.140 --> 01:26:53.980
Okay.

1684
01:26:54.580 --> 01:26:57.500
And you also denied your true feelings in that moment.

1685
01:26:57.500 --> 01:26:58.820
Yeah.

1686
01:26:58.820 --> 01:27:02.060
And you chose to let other people,

1687
01:27:02.060 --> 01:27:05.020
like basically to me,

1688
01:27:05.020 --> 01:27:06.540
and this isn't something you would even

1689
01:27:06.540 --> 01:27:07.580
maybe know as a kid,

1690
01:27:07.580 --> 01:27:09.540
a lot of us do this kind of stuff

1691
01:27:09.540 --> 01:27:10.900
where it's like,

1692
01:27:10.900 --> 01:27:14.380
you just kind of bow out and self-sabotage.

1693
01:27:14.380 --> 01:27:15.500
That make sense?

1694
01:27:15.500 --> 01:27:16.700
Yeah.

1695
01:27:16.700 --> 01:27:19.380
And ladies, we have a lot of people in this community

1696
01:27:19.380 --> 01:27:21.220
right now doing this very thing

1697
01:27:21.220 --> 01:27:24.140
that are trying to step into relationships with people

1698
01:27:24.140 --> 01:27:25.940
and they're actually self-sabotaging.

1699
01:27:25.940 --> 01:27:27.820
They're counting themselves out.

1700
01:27:29.980 --> 01:27:31.900
Whether they meet somebody in person

1701
01:27:31.900 --> 01:27:33.340
or they're on a dating app

1702
01:27:33.340 --> 01:27:36.740
and they're like, yeah, that guy's, he's too good for me.

1703
01:27:36.740 --> 01:27:38.420
And they just decide to bow out

1704
01:27:38.420 --> 01:27:40.980
because they don't wanna go through the thought

1705
01:27:40.980 --> 01:27:44.180
of being rejected or the idea of not getting chosen.

1706
01:27:44.180 --> 01:27:46.260
And so while I do agree,

1707
01:27:46.260 --> 01:27:48.140
I think you guys are onto something really great

1708
01:27:48.140 --> 01:27:49.480
from that breakout room.

1709
01:27:50.240 --> 01:27:52.320
I think there is some pain there

1710
01:27:52.320 --> 01:27:54.800
probably from not being chosen,

1711
01:27:54.800 --> 01:27:56.760
but maybe there's also some pain.

1712
01:27:56.760 --> 01:28:01.760
And what is the word I wanna use?

1713
01:28:01.920 --> 01:28:06.920
Like where you actually like hurt yourself in a sense.

1714
01:28:07.840 --> 01:28:09.240
I can't think of the word right now.

1715
01:28:09.240 --> 01:28:10.360
It's not coming to me,

1716
01:28:10.360 --> 01:28:12.960
but just because of you not choosing yourself.

1717
01:28:14.400 --> 01:28:15.480
That make sense?

1718
01:28:15.480 --> 01:28:16.560
Yeah, it makes sense.

1719
01:28:17.520 --> 01:28:19.040
Yeah, so it could be self-betrayal.

1720
01:28:19.600 --> 01:28:22.320
That wasn't the word I was, it'll come to me,

1721
01:28:22.320 --> 01:28:25.560
but I'll respond on your thing in the group as well.

1722
01:28:25.560 --> 01:28:30.560
But I feel like just really asking the Lord,

1723
01:28:32.080 --> 01:28:33.480
he brought this up for a reason.

1724
01:28:33.480 --> 01:28:34.960
So I wanted to say that too.

1725
01:28:37.720 --> 01:28:39.360
This is where it's really important, ladies.

1726
01:28:39.360 --> 01:28:42.520
We don't always understand why God's bringing something up,

1727
01:28:42.520 --> 01:28:44.600
but there's always a reason.

1728
01:28:45.760 --> 01:28:49.000
And if you began as a young child,

1729
01:28:49.840 --> 01:28:51.480
denying your own feelings,

1730
01:28:51.480 --> 01:28:55.800
denying your own wants to make other people happy,

1731
01:28:55.800 --> 01:28:57.560
including your friends,

1732
01:28:59.520 --> 01:29:02.600
then I believe it probably started even before this boy.

1733
01:29:04.560 --> 01:29:06.160
So where you start asking the Lord,

1734
01:29:06.160 --> 01:29:10.120
okay, when is the first time I set my feelings aside

1735
01:29:11.080 --> 01:29:12.480
for someone else?

1736
01:29:12.480 --> 01:29:13.320
And again, ladies,

1737
01:29:13.320 --> 01:29:15.720
I'm not saying we shouldn't do that at times.

1738
01:29:15.720 --> 01:29:18.400
So there's balance, balance is key,

1739
01:29:18.400 --> 01:29:20.480
it can get overextended.

1740
01:29:20.480 --> 01:29:22.760
Jackie will talk about that a lot.

1741
01:29:22.760 --> 01:29:25.880
We can get overextended in the area of always giving,

1742
01:29:25.880 --> 01:29:27.720
always giving, always giving.

1743
01:29:27.720 --> 01:29:29.760
I talked about it this afternoon,

1744
01:29:29.760 --> 01:29:31.440
when we get on airplanes, they tell us,

1745
01:29:31.440 --> 01:29:35.000
hey, put your oxygen mask on yourself first.

1746
01:29:35.000 --> 01:29:37.440
Well, why did they tell us to do that?

1747
01:29:37.440 --> 01:29:41.640
Because if we don't, we can't help anybody else either.

1748
01:29:41.640 --> 01:29:44.000
And we won't survive, right?

1749
01:29:45.000 --> 01:29:48.600
So how many times are we not surviving

1750
01:29:48.600 --> 01:29:50.160
or having that thing happen

1751
01:29:50.160 --> 01:29:54.080
because we're actually self-sacrificing

1752
01:29:54.080 --> 01:29:55.840
to the point that it's harming us?

1753
01:29:57.280 --> 01:29:58.680
Yeah, and it's interesting you say that

1754
01:29:58.680 --> 01:30:00.120
because now I'm also,

1755
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:07.440
attaching this to my mom always telling me I was selfish and what's interesting

1756
01:30:07.440 --> 01:30:12.440
about that is my it wasn't until I was like graduated from college before I

1757
01:30:12.440 --> 01:30:17.200
confronted her about it and said it's in it hurts me that you would say that

1758
01:30:17.200 --> 01:30:23.080
because in fact everyone else I know says that I'm too generous to a fault

1759
01:30:23.080 --> 01:30:27.480
and so I don't know why you don't see that in me I remember like just being

1760
01:30:27.480 --> 01:30:31.500
devastated and just bawling in front of her and saying I don't know why you

1761
01:30:31.500 --> 01:30:36.660
think that about me when was the first time you recall her telling you that do

1762
01:30:36.660 --> 01:30:41.260
you know I don't remember the first time but I mean as a very young child she

1763
01:30:41.260 --> 01:30:46.560
called me like you little princess and you just have to always have your way

1764
01:30:46.560 --> 01:30:51.980
and you're selfish and hey let me ask you a question when dad was home you

1765
01:30:51.980 --> 01:30:57.300
said he traveled a lot right yeah when dad was home was mom jealous of you

1766
01:30:57.300 --> 01:31:03.040
because of dad giving you attention not that not that I recall but I do know

1767
01:31:03.040 --> 01:31:07.200
that my dad did tend to favor me over my brother just like my mom favored my

1768
01:31:07.200 --> 01:31:11.400
brother over me but my dad wasn't there he was only home on the weekends

1769
01:31:11.400 --> 01:31:16.260
typically yeah so I feel like some stuff's probably gonna get revealed

1770
01:31:16.260 --> 01:31:22.140
through this yeah it sounds like mom and dad were pitting the kids against each

1771
01:31:22.140 --> 01:31:28.200
other whether they meant to or not mom and dad I think maybe had something

1772
01:31:28.200 --> 01:31:33.720
going on there that needed help and they didn't know how to deal with it and they

1773
01:31:33.720 --> 01:31:38.960
loved both of their kids but they then kind of like chose a kid does that make

1774
01:31:38.960 --> 01:31:44.840
sense yeah and so and again ladies I'm not saying people even know why they're

1775
01:31:44.840 --> 01:31:48.840
doing what they're doing hurt people hurt people period they don't mean to

1776
01:31:48.840 --> 01:31:52.780
some people choose to okay let's just be honest some people just choose

1777
01:31:52.780 --> 01:31:57.060
unhealthy things and they choose to be mean to people but there are a lot of

1778
01:31:57.060 --> 01:32:01.460
people that do things subconsciously out of their own brokenness that's not

1779
01:32:01.460 --> 01:32:06.180
healed and so I don't necessarily I'm not saying your mom or your dad intended

1780
01:32:06.180 --> 01:32:10.700
to do those things but I'm just sensing like just the way you're describing this

1781
01:32:10.700 --> 01:32:14.020
and the way it's kind of getting unpacked tonight even while I'm like

1782
01:32:14.020 --> 01:32:21.040
talking to you about it like your mom saying you little princess like if she

1783
01:32:21.040 --> 01:32:25.600
didn't say in a kind way it feels like there's something there to that for me

1784
01:32:25.600 --> 01:32:29.160
and that's where when I asked the Lord where's that coming from I immediately

1785
01:32:29.160 --> 01:32:35.000
thought of your dad like a lot of moms get jealous of their daughters if

1786
01:32:35.000 --> 01:32:41.440
someone else is paying them a lot of attention and so for me I got treated

1787
01:32:41.440 --> 01:32:46.540
like that because my dad's I looked a lot like my dad and my mom and dad were

1788
01:32:46.540 --> 01:32:51.760
at odds all the time and I looked a lot like my grandma which was my mom's or my

1789
01:32:51.760 --> 01:32:57.280
dad's mom and my dad's parents were really like they really favored me I was

1790
01:32:57.280 --> 01:33:04.340
the baby and my mom could never measure up in my grandma's eyes and so there was

1791
01:33:04.340 --> 01:33:10.540
just a lot of jealousy there and so I got caught in the middle of that between

1792
01:33:10.760 --> 01:33:17.520
them does that make sense yeah okay so good this is good you know again these

1793
01:33:17.520 --> 01:33:21.220
are not easy things for us to unpack at times ladies but there's gonna be so

1794
01:33:21.220 --> 01:33:25.920
much richness and healing that will come when like even though Anna was like I

1795
01:33:25.920 --> 01:33:29.480
don't know why this memories coming up this is where it's important like okay

1796
01:33:29.480 --> 01:33:33.820
Lord help me to see why you're revealing this to me help me to look at like what

1797
01:33:33.820 --> 01:33:37.480
are you trying to show me that's connected here and so just from asking a

1798
01:33:37.480 --> 01:33:42.100
couple questions it led to your mom telling you that you were selfish which

1799
01:33:42.100 --> 01:33:45.700
led to the her saying to you you little princess and you know these negative and

1800
01:33:45.700 --> 01:33:50.020
so continue to unpack that use that revealing for healing cycle this week

1801
01:33:50.020 --> 01:33:56.100
and see what else you can identify with the Lord showing you okay remember not

1802
01:33:56.100 --> 01:34:01.260
to dig it will come up when it's time just keep asking God to reveal things

1803
01:34:01.260 --> 01:34:06.380
for healing and he will he will when you're ready thank you you're welcome

1804
01:34:06.380 --> 01:34:11.800
okay ladies we're at 934 I am gonna let Emily go but if anyone needs to jump

1805
01:34:11.800 --> 01:34:15.520
off totally understand I want y'all to know that is totally okay but I am gonna

1806
01:34:15.520 --> 01:34:19.880
let Emily go ahead and share tonight go ahead

1807
01:34:22.880 --> 01:34:27.960
actually is very resonant to what happened to me I think when we were in

1808
01:34:27.960 --> 01:34:32.200
the breakout room I was thinking about saying other experience but then it

1809
01:34:32.200 --> 01:34:39.700
Thursday come up with the ladies I was saying as well in the group so I was so

1810
01:34:39.700 --> 01:34:45.100
before oh I'm in this program for a long time so I think I needed to come out I

1811
01:34:45.100 --> 01:34:52.420
see you know better me know about it I was here so long yeah so I need to come

1812
01:34:52.420 --> 01:34:57.580
out so I'm like consistently every every Monday I'm here so um I think for me I

1813
01:34:57.580 --> 01:35:01.480
have a memory of

1814
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:05.440
two guys that I think beginning of the year someone introduced to me and then we chatted

1815
01:35:05.440 --> 01:35:13.200
on the phone once and then we were agreed to go on like go to gym and then later on the guy was

1816
01:35:13.200 --> 01:35:19.040
just texting me saying oh you you're so good but then I don't think we wanted to continue to proceed

1817
01:35:19.040 --> 01:35:23.920
knowing each other and then I was like okay the first guy was okay because I wasn't I wasn't

1818
01:35:23.920 --> 01:35:29.840
really into him so I was like okay bless you and then and then I moved on and then what happened

1819
01:35:29.840 --> 01:35:35.840
is after I think um there was a couple months later there was another guy that was introduced

1820
01:35:35.840 --> 01:35:44.080
to me and same thing we had I think we talked for like once online and then after a while he

1821
01:35:44.080 --> 01:35:49.920
texted me the same thing like exact same similar thing oh you're so good but then I don't think

1822
01:35:49.920 --> 01:35:55.680
it will work out and then I was like the first impression is I would I throw my phone away I

1823
01:35:55.680 --> 01:36:01.600
was like throw it I was like I was so mad that I was like I read the message I was like why are

1824
01:36:01.600 --> 01:36:08.160
they saying like you're so good but then it's not working out and I felt like I get um kind of voted

1825
01:36:08.160 --> 01:36:13.520
out before I even prove myself or I even like kind of like for a job right they didn't pick me and

1826
01:36:13.520 --> 01:36:20.400
stuff so I think I have that I believe the lie that like they will choose other people beside like

1827
01:36:20.400 --> 01:36:28.080
over me kind of and then I think another thing is like I do have felt that uh what I'm not saying

1828
01:36:28.080 --> 01:36:34.480
like I'm not true to my own feeling I don't know what I want kind of like so sometimes like I kind

1829
01:36:34.480 --> 01:36:42.560
of um I think maybe I I wasn't I wasn't showing in like interest to other people so then a lot of I

1830
01:36:42.560 --> 01:36:47.440
have guys friends but then a lot of them they just think that oh Emily is very good but then

1831
01:36:47.440 --> 01:36:53.920
they don't do not have any romantic feeling for me or toward me so I'm just kind of kind of stuck

1832
01:36:53.920 --> 01:37:00.400
here so but I'm like okay I need to continue on and then I think for the second guy actually

1833
01:37:00.400 --> 01:37:08.480
instead of I was angry but then at the same time I think God has pulled me down and the reasons why

1834
01:37:08.480 --> 01:37:14.880
he think it's not gonna work out but I think having that reason it partially heals my heart

1835
01:37:14.880 --> 01:37:20.720
because I think I get to respect him for uh because it's going to be a long distance he's in

1836
01:37:20.720 --> 01:37:27.600
LA I'm here in northern California anyway but then it's like I can get to see that it's not about me

1837
01:37:28.240 --> 01:37:34.480
it's just about preference and I think I'm learning that way as well too yeah it's so good Emily so

1838
01:37:34.480 --> 01:37:39.760
I'm going to jump in because I want to point out just so the ladies know too so Emily was saying

1839
01:37:39.760 --> 01:37:46.000
she's been here for a while I forget Emily are you in phase two now um no not yet okay yeah I'm

1840
01:37:46.000 --> 01:37:50.880
still trying to finish yeah yeah so that was kind of back before you started heartwork when that

1841
01:37:50.880 --> 01:37:57.200
happened with those guys um I think it was in the middle of it so it was kind of yeah so this is

1842
01:37:57.200 --> 01:38:02.000
where it's super important ladies and I'm not picking on Emily but in the heartwork this is

1843
01:38:02.000 --> 01:38:09.120
why we ask you all to just pause on dating because y'all are processing so much when you're in here

1844
01:38:09.120 --> 01:38:14.960
it's going to get all messed up when you try to talk to guys okay because like you need to unpack

1845
01:38:14.960 --> 01:38:20.720
what you're doing here and then when you're done with heartwork we would encourage you if you're

1846
01:38:20.720 --> 01:38:26.640
ready in phase two then you can step into that and there's so many reasons why I'm not going to

1847
01:38:26.640 --> 01:38:31.840
go into them tonight but um what I am going to I wanted to make sure the ladies knew kind of what

1848
01:38:31.840 --> 01:38:36.000
was going on there because we ask for people to press pause sometimes we have ladies from phase

1849
01:38:36.000 --> 01:38:40.720
two that come in and join us for heartwork because they're coming back because stuff's getting stirred

1850
01:38:40.720 --> 01:38:46.160
up when they're starting to date people we do heartwork over there too just so everyone knows

1851
01:38:46.160 --> 01:38:50.400
but sometimes it will happen so I just wanted clarity on I couldn't remember if Emily had moved

1852
01:38:50.400 --> 01:38:58.400
on to phase two so I do want to point out when you were talking you said I was voted out before I

1853
01:38:58.400 --> 01:39:06.320
could prove myself I was voted out before I could prove myself and that really stood out to me um

1854
01:39:07.040 --> 01:39:11.520
out of everything else you said here's the thing

1855
01:39:12.000 --> 01:39:19.440
we have to really partner ladies with God defended in this community because that is genuinely the

1856
01:39:19.440 --> 01:39:26.400
case at times where you're not going to understand why a guy all of a sudden just you know it doesn't

1857
01:39:26.400 --> 01:39:32.320
work out or whatever um even a guy that you might be talking to and he seems like a nice guy and

1858
01:39:32.320 --> 01:39:37.200
then all of a sudden he's like I want to be friends or you know you like you're saying like

1859
01:39:37.360 --> 01:39:41.840
you like you're saying like hey you're really good but like it's not going to work out and

1860
01:39:41.840 --> 01:39:46.320
they're just you know they move on at least in this case in my opinion it's great that they

1861
01:39:46.320 --> 01:39:50.160
were kind to you and they said something to you and they didn't just ghost you right

1862
01:39:50.160 --> 01:39:58.640
so but here's the key is that internally it's kind of like what I was coaching um

1863
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:01.000
Yeah.

1864
01:40:01.000 --> 01:40:02.000
Yeah.

1865
01:40:02.000 --> 01:40:10.960
The self-sabotaging internally, like if you believe that you're always going to get voted

1866
01:40:10.960 --> 01:40:15.600
out before you can prove yourself, if you're believing that lie and you're partnering with

1867
01:40:15.600 --> 01:40:19.580
that, even when you're getting upset, you know, because you're frustrated, that's going

1868
01:40:19.580 --> 01:40:21.040
to be, what's going to play out.

1869
01:40:21.040 --> 01:40:25.960
And I don't want to coach too much on dating, but the heart work that needs to be done underneath

1870
01:40:25.960 --> 01:40:34.560
of that is why do you feel like you have to prove yourself?

1871
01:40:34.560 --> 01:40:37.880
That's what I, that's what I'm getting out of it tonight that I feel like the Lord wants

1872
01:40:37.880 --> 01:40:44.960
you to lean into is, is there, is there some reason underlying that you believe when you

1873
01:40:44.960 --> 01:40:49.360
enter relationships with men, that they're not going to already see your value, but you

1874
01:40:49.360 --> 01:40:51.160
have to prove it to them.

1875
01:40:52.160 --> 01:40:54.760
I have to like heart sells myself or like,

1876
01:40:54.760 --> 01:41:01.640
Well, yeah, I mean, we don't have to sell ourselves to anybody, ladies, if, if, if our

1877
01:41:01.640 --> 01:41:07.960
spirit mates come when they do, when our spirit mates come in contact with us and we are,

1878
01:41:07.960 --> 01:41:12.760
you know, becoming healthier and healthier every day, 100%, we believe that God's going

1879
01:41:12.760 --> 01:41:15.960
to highlight to us, to them and them, to us.

1880
01:41:15.960 --> 01:41:19.880
And they're going to know they've found a good thing because Proverbs 18 22 says a man

1881
01:41:19.880 --> 01:41:23.280
who finds a wife has found a good thing.

1882
01:41:23.280 --> 01:41:24.600
Okay.

1883
01:41:24.600 --> 01:41:30.880
So if we trust that God will highlight us to our spirit mate, then we can also release.

1884
01:41:30.880 --> 01:41:36.520
I know it's not always easy, but it can be done, but we underlying, if we think we have

1885
01:41:36.520 --> 01:41:43.120
to prove that we're good, why, where is that coming from?

1886
01:41:43.120 --> 01:41:44.520
Okay.

1887
01:41:44.520 --> 01:41:46.560
Did we have to prove ourselves to our parents?

1888
01:41:46.560 --> 01:41:48.520
Did we have to get better grades?

1889
01:41:48.520 --> 01:41:50.640
Did we have to, so where's that coming from?

1890
01:41:50.640 --> 01:41:53.880
And so that's what I would unpack with the Lord and ask him, where did that start for

1891
01:41:53.880 --> 01:42:01.120
you that you felt like you had to, you know, prove yourself to someone in order for them

1892
01:42:01.120 --> 01:42:02.800
to keep you.

1893
01:42:02.800 --> 01:42:05.120
Does that make sense?

1894
01:42:05.120 --> 01:42:06.120
Yeah.

1895
01:42:06.120 --> 01:42:07.120
Yeah.

1896
01:42:07.120 --> 01:42:08.120
All right, ladies.

1897
01:42:08.120 --> 01:42:11.200
We're at nine 42, so I got to close this out.

1898
01:42:11.200 --> 01:42:12.200
Okay.

1899
01:42:12.200 --> 01:42:13.200
Thank you.

1900
01:42:13.200 --> 01:42:14.200
Yeah.

1901
01:42:14.200 --> 01:42:15.200
You're welcome.

1902
01:42:15.200 --> 01:42:16.200
Thanks for sharing everyone who shared tonight.

1903
01:42:16.200 --> 01:42:17.200
Thank you so much.

1904
01:42:17.200 --> 01:42:18.200
You shared in the chat.

1905
01:42:18.880 --> 01:42:22.880
And so everything that you share and how you show up here really matter matters ladies.

1906
01:42:22.880 --> 01:42:24.400
And here's, here's the kicker.

1907
01:42:24.400 --> 01:42:28.480
Even the fact that you show up at all matters.

1908
01:42:28.480 --> 01:42:29.840
It really does to your process.

1909
01:42:29.840 --> 01:42:31.280
So God bless you.

1910
01:42:31.280 --> 01:42:33.560
Thanks for showing up for yourself.

1911
01:42:33.560 --> 01:42:35.400
Not not, not, it's not about us.

1912
01:42:35.400 --> 01:42:38.080
You showed up for yourself and that is awesome.

1913
01:42:38.080 --> 01:42:42.160
So I hope that you all will kind of give yourself a hug when you get off here tonight and tell

1914
01:42:42.160 --> 01:42:44.000
yourself that you're proud of yourself.

1915
01:42:44.000 --> 01:42:48.560
I know these sound like small things, ladies, but we go through days and days and days of

1916
01:42:48.560 --> 01:42:55.000
never just like, man, Bethany, I'm like, I'm proud of myself for that.

1917
01:42:55.000 --> 01:42:56.880
Like love on yourself a little bit tonight.

1918
01:42:56.880 --> 01:42:57.880
Okay.

1919
01:42:57.880 --> 01:43:00.560
Here's your activation for this week before I pray.

1920
01:43:00.560 --> 01:43:01.560
It's an easy one.

1921
01:43:01.560 --> 01:43:06.880
I think for some of you all, it's going to be hard, but we're going to activate fun this

1922
01:43:06.880 --> 01:43:07.880
week.

1923
01:43:07.880 --> 01:43:08.880
Okay.

1924
01:43:08.880 --> 01:43:09.880
We're going to activate fun.

1925
01:43:09.880 --> 01:43:13.000
I want to encourage you all to have a lot of fun this week.

1926
01:43:13.000 --> 01:43:15.360
And here is specifically what I want you to do.

1927
01:43:15.360 --> 01:43:21.120
I want you to activate the inner child in yourself.

1928
01:43:21.120 --> 01:43:29.000
What was something that you did as a kid that you haven't done in a really long time?

1929
01:43:29.000 --> 01:43:30.780
Maybe it was swing on swings.

1930
01:43:30.780 --> 01:43:34.280
If you're in a really cold state, you're probably not going to feel like climbing no trees,

1931
01:43:34.280 --> 01:43:38.400
but maybe in the snow you make us a snow angel.

1932
01:43:38.400 --> 01:43:42.880
And I know some of you literally do that kind of stuff all the time, but some of you are

1933
01:43:43.760 --> 01:43:44.960
so serious and so stressed.

1934
01:43:44.960 --> 01:43:47.840
You haven't done anything fun in a really long time.

1935
01:43:47.840 --> 01:43:48.840
Okay.

1936
01:43:48.840 --> 01:43:51.080
Maybe you're going to jump in a rain puddle.

1937
01:43:51.080 --> 01:43:53.840
Maybe you're going to be silly and I don't know, play with Play-Doh.

1938
01:43:53.840 --> 01:43:55.240
I'm just kind of throwing ideas.

1939
01:43:55.240 --> 01:43:56.720
Baseball cards are great too.

1940
01:43:56.720 --> 01:43:57.720
I saw that.

1941
01:43:57.720 --> 01:43:58.720
Yeah.

1942
01:43:58.720 --> 01:44:01.000
I loved your post.

1943
01:44:01.000 --> 01:44:05.000
Maybe some of you all are going to have a PJ party and invite some friends over because

1944
01:44:05.000 --> 01:44:10.000
you haven't done a girl's night in a really long time and you need one, paint nails, whatever

1945
01:44:10.000 --> 01:44:11.000
you feel like.

1946
01:44:11.120 --> 01:44:16.480
I know some of you don't like spa stuff at all, but I'm just trying to say, have fun.

1947
01:44:16.480 --> 01:44:21.160
Y'all want to know what healthy men like?

1948
01:44:21.160 --> 01:44:24.880
Anyone want to guess?

1949
01:44:24.880 --> 01:44:28.400
Women who can have fun.

1950
01:44:28.400 --> 01:44:33.480
Yep, it's true.

1951
01:44:33.480 --> 01:44:38.880
They like it when we have fun and we can relax and be silly.

1952
01:44:38.880 --> 01:44:42.680
My husband loves to laugh every day.

1953
01:44:42.680 --> 01:44:47.600
I got dad jokes all the time, coming 24 seven dad jokes.

1954
01:44:47.600 --> 01:44:52.040
I told him sometimes they're funny and sometimes they aren't, but they still make me laugh.

1955
01:44:52.040 --> 01:44:53.320
I love it.

1956
01:44:53.320 --> 01:44:54.320
I love it.

1957
01:44:54.320 --> 01:44:55.320
Yes.

1958
01:44:55.320 --> 01:44:56.320
Flower fight.

1959
01:44:56.320 --> 01:44:57.320
Anything.

1960
01:44:57.320 --> 01:44:59.640
I said today, I'll share one more thing and then I'll pray, I promise.

1961
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:02.200
I'm going to use my pen like a microphone.

1962
01:45:02.200 --> 01:45:05.000
Some of y'all, I almost forgot I shared this,

1963
01:45:05.000 --> 01:45:06.520
Crystal's going to laugh, okay.

1964
01:45:06.520 --> 01:45:09.240
I'm going to start with the light layer first.

1965
01:45:09.240 --> 01:45:11.840
Some of y'all need to get a microphone out.

1966
01:45:11.840 --> 01:45:13.800
Crystal's laughing. She's getting a little red.

1967
01:45:13.800 --> 01:45:15.800
She knows what I'm about to say.

1968
01:45:15.800 --> 01:45:18.320
Some of y'all need to get a microphone,

1969
01:45:18.320 --> 01:45:20.200
fake one, and put some music

1970
01:45:20.200 --> 01:45:23.240
on and have a dance party in your house.

1971
01:45:23.240 --> 01:45:25.680
Here's the second layer to this,

1972
01:45:25.680 --> 01:45:27.360
and this is why she's turning red.

1973
01:45:27.360 --> 01:45:29.120
Yes, I did. I did say it.

1974
01:45:29.120 --> 01:45:31.440
I'm going to say it again tonight.

1975
01:45:31.440 --> 01:45:32.960
Now I am going to tell you,

1976
01:45:32.960 --> 01:45:35.520
you're going to want to close your blinds

1977
01:45:35.520 --> 01:45:38.360
and you're not going to want anyone to be able to see you,

1978
01:45:38.360 --> 01:45:40.440
but some of you all need to get comfortable

1979
01:45:40.440 --> 01:45:41.920
in your own skin again.

1980
01:45:42.760 --> 01:45:45.720
And so I'm going to encourage you to practice.

1981
01:45:45.720 --> 01:45:47.880
If you want to dance around in underwear, bra,

1982
01:45:47.880 --> 01:45:49.920
I know this sounds so silly, but I'm serious.

1983
01:45:49.920 --> 01:45:52.920
I know this sounds so like, okay, Bethany,

1984
01:45:52.920 --> 01:45:55.680
what does this have to do with my heart healing?

1985
01:45:55.680 --> 01:45:57.960
For some of you, everything.

1986
01:46:00.120 --> 01:46:04.120
Genuinely, some of you don't like to even see yourself

1987
01:46:04.120 --> 01:46:05.520
at all physically.

1988
01:46:07.640 --> 01:46:12.640
So I used to never, ever walk around

1989
01:46:13.000 --> 01:46:14.800
without layers of clothes on

1990
01:46:14.800 --> 01:46:18.560
because I grew up in an unsafe environment.

1991
01:46:18.560 --> 01:46:22.400
And so when I finally got into my own place in Lexington,

1992
01:46:22.400 --> 01:46:24.200
like I've had other places before,

1993
01:46:24.200 --> 01:46:25.600
but this was like the first place

1994
01:46:25.600 --> 01:46:27.280
that felt like a safe place.

1995
01:46:28.280 --> 01:46:31.000
I remember the first time the Lord was like,

1996
01:46:31.000 --> 01:46:33.840
you don't have to shut the doors all the time.

1997
01:46:33.840 --> 01:46:38.280
You don't have to, you know, walk around with layers.

1998
01:46:38.280 --> 01:46:39.440
Like, I just remember the first day,

1999
01:46:39.440 --> 01:46:40.280
the Lord was like, yeah,

2000
01:46:40.280 --> 01:46:41.480
just walk around your apartment

2001
01:46:41.480 --> 01:46:43.800
and get comfortable in bra and underwear

2002
01:46:43.800 --> 01:46:45.600
because one day you're going to be married

2003
01:46:45.600 --> 01:46:47.720
and you need to get more comfortable.

2004
01:46:50.360 --> 01:46:52.200
So I know I'm pushing that a little bit,

2005
01:46:52.200 --> 01:46:54.600
but I want you all to be like,

2006
01:46:54.600 --> 01:46:57.520
I want you all to be like, think about,

2007
01:46:57.520 --> 01:46:59.480
that's not like letting the inner kid out, okay?

2008
01:46:59.480 --> 01:47:01.320
But that, this is like a different side

2009
01:47:01.320 --> 01:47:03.920
of getting comfortable with yourself, okay?

2010
01:47:03.920 --> 01:47:05.560
So I added a layer to it.

2011
01:47:08.080 --> 01:47:10.720
Some of you all might need to like old school it,

2012
01:47:10.720 --> 01:47:15.440
just be free, close the blinds,

2013
01:47:15.440 --> 01:47:19.200
let God help you heal whatever you need to heal.

2014
01:47:19.200 --> 01:47:22.680
For some of you, that's what it is, okay?

2015
01:47:22.680 --> 01:47:25.120
All right, I said it, Crystal, you made it.

2016
01:47:26.840 --> 01:47:29.200
I think I was a little more silly this afternoon with it,

2017
01:47:29.200 --> 01:47:31.360
but it was fun, we had fun.

2018
01:47:32.400 --> 01:47:34.720
We love you all and we want to see you get free

2019
01:47:34.720 --> 01:47:36.360
in every way that is needed.

2020
01:47:36.360 --> 01:47:39.160
And so sometimes we'll share things

2021
01:47:39.160 --> 01:47:41.640
that seem like so insignificant to some of you,

2022
01:47:41.640 --> 01:47:44.640
but to other people, it's, you're feeling your heart beating

2023
01:47:44.640 --> 01:47:46.880
when I'm talking about that tonight.

2024
01:47:46.880 --> 01:47:48.560
So Father, we just thank you.

2025
01:47:49.760 --> 01:47:52.040
All right, hot tub naked.

2026
01:47:52.040 --> 01:47:55.320
Okay, Stephanie, look at her putting that in there.

2027
01:47:55.320 --> 01:47:57.280
Get comfortable with yourself.

2028
01:47:57.280 --> 01:48:00.200
Y'all just make sure nobody else can see you, okay?

2029
01:48:00.200 --> 01:48:04.760
Because in this community, we do believe in modesty, okay?

2030
01:48:04.760 --> 01:48:09.000
All right, I'm a pastor's wife, so I gotta tell you that.

2031
01:48:10.440 --> 01:48:13.400
No, I believe in modesty, but it is,

2032
01:48:13.400 --> 01:48:14.560
and I think she's being modest.

2033
01:48:14.560 --> 01:48:15.800
I'm just kind of being funny now.

2034
01:48:15.800 --> 01:48:17.400
Okay, promise I'll pray.

2035
01:48:17.400 --> 01:48:18.240
I promise I'll pray.

2036
01:48:18.240 --> 01:48:20.800
Yeah, she says nobody else can see her, good.

2037
01:48:20.800 --> 01:48:22.960
Keep the goods for your hubby for later,

2038
01:48:22.960 --> 01:48:25.600
but when you're by yourself, you can do that.

2039
01:48:25.600 --> 01:48:26.440
All right.

2040
01:48:28.280 --> 01:48:30.440
Father, thank you for silliness.

2041
01:48:30.440 --> 01:48:31.560
Thank you for fun.

2042
01:48:31.560 --> 01:48:32.920
Thank you for laughter.

2043
01:48:32.920 --> 01:48:36.920
We know that laughter is good medicine for our soul.

2044
01:48:36.920 --> 01:48:39.560
So in the midst of talking about heartwork

2045
01:48:39.560 --> 01:48:42.040
and painful things, God, thank you for a reprieve.

2046
01:48:42.040 --> 01:48:42.920
Thank you for rest.

2047
01:48:42.920 --> 01:48:45.320
Thank you for joy and speakable and full of glory

2048
01:48:45.320 --> 01:48:47.240
entering our lives.

2049
01:48:47.240 --> 01:48:49.240
God, we thank you that you are the great physician,

2050
01:48:49.240 --> 01:48:50.780
that nothing is too hard for you,

2051
01:48:51.560 --> 01:48:52.980
that you created the heavens and the earth.

2052
01:48:52.980 --> 01:48:55.220
You created every good thing that we can look around

2053
01:48:55.220 --> 01:48:56.220
and see.

2054
01:48:56.220 --> 01:48:59.540
God, I thank you that you're creating us in a new way,

2055
01:48:59.540 --> 01:49:00.900
that you're making us brand new,

2056
01:49:00.900 --> 01:49:04.100
that you're transforming us by the renewing of our minds,

2057
01:49:04.100 --> 01:49:05.700
that all old things have passed away

2058
01:49:05.700 --> 01:49:08.340
and behold, everything has become new in you.

2059
01:49:08.340 --> 01:49:11.060
And we thank you, God, that we will partner with you

2060
01:49:11.060 --> 01:49:12.220
in this journey of healing.

2061
01:49:12.220 --> 01:49:13.580
And we will this week,

2062
01:49:13.580 --> 01:49:15.260
show us the ways that we need to have fun,

2063
01:49:15.260 --> 01:49:17.060
help us to see and remember the things

2064
01:49:17.060 --> 01:49:20.060
that we have long put away when we were kids

2065
01:49:20.460 --> 01:49:21.980
and we have partnered with,

2066
01:49:21.980 --> 01:49:23.900
we're too adult to do that now

2067
01:49:23.900 --> 01:49:26.860
and help us to come out of that place, Lord,

2068
01:49:26.860 --> 01:49:30.420
and to allow you to awaken us in every way.

2069
01:49:30.420 --> 01:49:34.060
We thank you, God, for hope being breathed

2070
01:49:34.060 --> 01:49:36.980
and a fresh into each one of us as well.

2071
01:49:36.980 --> 01:49:38.660
In Jesus name, amen.

2072
01:49:38.660 --> 01:49:39.780
God bless you all.

2073
01:49:39.780 --> 01:49:40.620
We love you.

2074
01:49:40.620 --> 01:49:41.900
We'll see you in the group.

2075
01:49:41.900 --> 01:49:43.540
Have a good night, everyone.

2076
01:49:43.540 --> 01:49:44.380
Bye.

2077
01:49:44.380 --> 01:49:45.420
Thank you, bye.

2078
01:49:45.420 --> 01:49:46.260
Bye, everybody.