WEBVTT

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All right, ladies, welcome. It's always such a pleasure to be here with you all. It is

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December 3rd at 2024. We are doing our one o'clock phase two live check in. If you don't

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know me, I'm Carla Johnson. I am one of your coaches here in phase two at last year's single.

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It's always such a great honor to be here because I myself went through this program

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four years ago. Actually, it's coming on five. I think I've lost count. So it's always such

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an honor to be able to come here because I was in this program and I am a success story

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and found my spirit mate and I'm now married. So it's always such a pleasure and an honor

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to be able to encourage you ladies, you know, share my testimony, share my ups and downs

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that I had in my single season before God blessed me with a husband. And I was very

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fortunate to connect with Jackie and be part of this group. So like I said, always such

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a blessing to be here with you ladies and get to experience this with you and walk alongside

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with you in this season and hopes to give you encouragement, faith, hope and just even

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just to share just my ups and downs to with it. So and then also being able to be on the

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other side of it and express to you ladies how important what you are doing to prepare

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now will serve you later. Okay, so first things first, we're just going to go over a couple

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housekeeping items and then we'll get on with our teaching for the day and some coaching

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questions that you ladies have. So is there anyone that this is their first week and phase

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two? I know I've got two of you on. Yes, Jennifer, I was gonna say I hadn't seen you before.

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I didn't know if maybe this is the first time coming to one o'clock or if this is just your

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first time in general. So it's great to have you here with us. I know some of you are not

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on camera. Again, if you are able to come on camera, please do so. Priscilla, thank

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you so much. It's your first week here. It's always such an honor and blessing to have

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you ladies for the first time. So we just go over a couple of housekeeping items and

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then we get into our teaching for the week. So just a few things. Just remember to show

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up to these live sessions. When you're in phase two, we have them at two, not two o'clock,

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one o'clock Eastern and eight o'clock Eastern Standard Time. It's on Tuesdays. So you'll

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be here for about four to five weeks at a minimum. Okay. It doesn't mean that you have

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to rush out of here in four to five weeks, but ideally you'll watch one video a week,

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which is your training videos. We have five of them. And then after you're done watching

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those, after you've done come to lives and spent some time in phase two, getting to know

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your sisters in this community and coming to these calls, then you will move on to phase

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three. And so when you do that, you'll request that via admin at JackieDorman.com. But that's

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only after you've spent a minimum of four to five weeks here, watched all the training

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videos, come to some live sessions, showing your face in the app, shared with us what's

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going on with your life. Okay. We want to get to know you. And again, like I said, I

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was through this program. So I have walked through it and I will attest to the fact that

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you will get so much more out of it when you show up and you share what's going on. Okay.

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So that's why we emphasize that because it really does help the process. Okay. Also just

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a few things. Make sure that you're connecting with your sisters here in community. Okay.

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I was in this program early on. And so we did things slightly different, but I will

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tell you the number one thing that was super successful was the relationships that I built

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in this community. Okay. And I know a lot of you ladies are like, but where are the

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men? I want to connect with the men. We don't want to neglect getting to know your sisters

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in here. Cause truth be told, a lot of women have met their spirit mates by connecting

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with their sisters here in this community, myself included. Okay. One of my sisters in

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this community was looking out for me. She saw my husband and his profile in a single

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Facebook Christian group. And she's like, Hey, what do you think about this guy? I was

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You know, I was at a place in my life where I was kind of like exhausted. I was feeling

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disappointment.

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I was being discouraged.

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I was like, Lord, is this ever gonna happen?

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And my sister was looking out for me

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and she was able to reach out to him

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and he did drop in my DMs after that

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and then the rest is history.

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I'm not gonna go into too much detail about my story,

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but I say this because don't neglect

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getting to know the women in here.

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They are your sisters for life, okay?

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They can be.

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You can build relationship there.

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Many of the girls that I met in this community

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were at my wedding, even in my wedding party.

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So there's just all good things

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that can come from this group.

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So I know it's a little challenging

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because our app doesn't allow us to message one another,

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but that's why coming to these lives

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and connecting with each other here in the lives

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and getting to know one another

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is a really great way to do that, okay?

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And then you can share your email.

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You can share your number.

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You can text each other.

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You can do all sorts of things.

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You can friend request each other on Facebook

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and you can start building relationship

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with the ladies here, okay?

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One other thing that I wanna discuss

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before moving on the housekeeping stuff

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is when you're in the app

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and you are replying to one of the coaches,

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please make sure you click the reply under the coach's name.

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It just helps us give those notifications

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and we can get to your responses a little better, okay?

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Because a lot of times you post something,

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we share some feedback,

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we need some more feedback from you,

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and then you go in and reply to us.

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But if you don't click the reply,

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then sometimes we don't get that notification.

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We have to like actually go click through a bunch of things.

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So we may not get to it as quickly

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if you don't hit that reply.

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So just keep that in mind when you're in the app.

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Curious, I got a few more of you ladies on here.

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Curious, just by show of hands,

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how many of you have had the opportunity

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to watch the recent Supernatural Saturday?

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Maybe you were on it live or you've watched it in replay.

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So Jill and Lavina and then Summer and Rishka.

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Okay, perfect.

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Ladies, if you did watch that Supernatural Saturday,

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I want you to just take a minute

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and maybe post in the chat,

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what were some things that really stood out to you

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in that Supernatural Saturday?

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And while we're waiting for you ladies to respond,

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those of you that shook your head like,

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no, I haven't watched Supernatural Saturday,

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I want you to write down that I want you to go watch that.

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Okay, Supernatural Saturdays get recorded every week

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and we post them in the replay, all right?

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It's important to try to get to those live if you can,

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but if you can't, make sure you watch the replay, all right?

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Lots of great things happened.

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Jackie always releases a great word.

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I actually was not able to get live,

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but I was listening to it earlier this morning

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as I was praying and spending time with Holy Spirit

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about what I wanted to share with you ladies

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and asking Holy Spirit to speak to me

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what He wanted me to share with you ladies today.

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And it was so good

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because a lot of what Jackie shared on Saturday

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were things that I felt the Lord had been speaking to me

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when I go into prayer for you ladies.

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And so it was just such a reminder and such a confirmation,

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just how intentional God is in this community

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and what He has for you and what He wants for you ladies.

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So please make sure that you go do that.

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Thank you, Jill.

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So she shared that to be open to God,

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leading you to help others,

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even if it feels like an interruption,

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it can be a way God uses you in others' lives.

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Yes, Jill, I got Holy Spirit chills

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because I actually thought of you when I heard that.

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You were on my call last week on Tuesday

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and ladies, I originally was gonna activate you ladies

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to do a couple of different things,

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but Holy Spirit really pushed me to share last week

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the importance of being able to pour into others

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in this season.

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And Jill posted earlier this week in our community

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ways that God was doing that for her.

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And I just really felt touched when she shared that.

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So when I heard Jackie talking about that today,

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I initially was reminded of Jill.

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So I love that Jill brought that up

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because that was something that was highlighted to me

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and why I know that it's God confirmation

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that that is something we really need to be practicing.

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this season. If you haven't watched her Supernatural Saturday, she touches on that. She calls it

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Project Good Cheer, which is something I shared a little bit last week. I shared my own story

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of how God led me to a Christmas tradition that I was doing with my son because someone

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came and blessed me the first year as a single mom. I was a brand new mom and I was single.

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God just blessed me with somebody that just poured into me and my son, and I just made

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it a tradition. It was really important. Being able to hear Jackie doing that as well, just

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really emphasized how important that is in this season. You'll hear about that, the Project

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Good Cheer, and just so many other good things. She touches on God speaking the full circle

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of things and what else it was, being open to receiving things that we don't deserve.

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She touches on that. I just think it's really important for you ladies to make sure that

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you watch it. Summer, she's also shared, it was such a good reminder of how we are going

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through things, but someone is always going through something more. Yeah, 100%. There's

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always people around us that need something. She shared about how it's biblical. God tells

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us to cast our burden on Him, but then it's also biblical to take up other people's burdens,

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to help lighten the load for others because there are hurting people in this season and

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how important that is and what a great reminder that is in this season. I really, really love

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that. Mariska shares, I love when Jackie talked about the friendship and marrying our best

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friend. I talk and date a few guys, but now I'm looking for my best friend even more in

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depth than ever. That's so true. That spoke to me because I am now married myself and

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it's true. My husband is my best friend. He serves me so well. She shared how David went

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out and got something from the car. I'm like, oh, it was a good reminder because my husband

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does that too. Sometimes I neglect to thank him for that. He really is truly a good friend.

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He just reminded me how important it is for me to make sure that I'm being a good friend

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to my husband and all people that are around me, making sure that I'm being a good friend

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because I know that's part of who God's called me to be is a good friend and how Jesus is

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a good friend to us. That was just such a great reminder. Levina, she talks about the

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belief that we can have what we think we don't deserve irrespective of our past. Someone

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also said that we are pure. Those are all such great things. Thank you, ladies, so much

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for sharing that. Be sure to jump on that. I'm going to even touch a little bit on that

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today as well. Like I said, I was listening to Supernatural Saturday as I was pressing

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into the Holy Spirit. He highlighted some things to me that I want to share with you

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ladies today. I just think that's really important. Curious, last week I gave an activation

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of self-care. We talked a little bit about just blessing other people, but then also

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self-care. I know, Jill, you posted something in the community. I think there was one or

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two other people that posted what they did for self-care. I think someone went on a walk

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and that's how they just really take time for themselves. It was a really beautiful

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picture and I was like, it's so beautiful out. I'm curious how many of you know, I know

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a couple of you are brand new this week, so you might be like, what do you mean self-care?

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What was I supposed to be doing? Each week when you come to Lives, we try to give you

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an activation, kind of like a little homework assignment. It's to start activating your

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faith and start partnering with Holy Spirit in this season and what he wants to grow you

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in, bless you with, and all that kind of stuff. Last week, I felt really pressed to kind of

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have people focusing, you ladies focusing on ways to make sure that you're taking care

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of yourself in this season. I'm curious how many of you were able to do that? Just show

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a hand that you were able last week to show some ways of self-care. Okay, so Mariska was

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able to do that. Jill was able to do that. Do either of you ladies want to unmute and

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just short, brief and powerful share with the girls here with us on our Live and that

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we'll watch and replay. What was it that you did to practice self-care?

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I will. So I got my hair done and I got my nails done and I have been kind of in a funk,

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just not really feeling it. And so to make myself feel better for me, you know,

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Doing those things starts to make me feel a little better

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internally when I do my hair and do my makeup,

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things like that.

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So I did that.

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I also gave myself grace to rest and not go, go, go.

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And then even just kind of cleaning my apartment,

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just tidying up.

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And I really felt like the Lord was asking me to,

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when I envision myself in the future with my husband

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and our family, what does that Jill look like?

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What is her character?

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What does she do?

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And then align that with what am I doing now?

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And is there any pieces missing?

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And for me, because I live alone, sometimes I clean,

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but I don't always put everything back right away, right?

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But if I live with another person, I would,

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or I leave laundry folded, but in the basket, it's clean.

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And so just, I mean, I'm being real, right?

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So I love that.

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That was kind of a self care, but also in preparation

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and an activation I felt from the Lord is like,

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start being that person that you envision now,

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start doing some of those things now

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and not just when dating somebody.

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And then I also joined a fitness thing.

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It's called Shred for the Web.

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I loved that.

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I love seeing that.

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That was awesome.

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I got such goosebumps when you shared that.

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So cool.

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Well, thank you so much for sharing.

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So yeah, ladies, I want you to just, again,

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just kind of press into that.

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I'm gonna get you some new activations this week.

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And then, so I'm gonna go over those now.

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I like to kind of, in the past,

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I've been putting the activations at the end of our session.

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And I notice that sometimes if we get, you know,

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rolling with time and it kind of gets long,

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like we kind of miss those activations.

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So last week I felt this push

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to start giving you these ladies,

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these activations early on.

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So those that are even watching in replay,

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you hear those things first.

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And so this week I am gonna kind of touch

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on what I shared last week

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because I really felt Holy Spirit's present even today.

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Cause he spoke to me about some things

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that I felt were good for me in my season.

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But I also felt that it was important

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to share with you ladies as well.

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Cause I think it all again goes full circle.

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So last week I shared with you ladies

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an activation that I did early on in this program.

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I joined in 2020, okay.

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And that was at the end of like September.

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And so that my first Christmas in this community,

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I felt led to buy a Christmas ornament

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that was an engagement ring.

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I hadn't been dating anybody.

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I hadn't dated people in like five years.

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Like I literally hadn't done that, okay.

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And so I joined this community and I, you know,

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I was a little bit reluctant on whether or not

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marriage was even for me,

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but there was so many good things

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that I originally was drawn to this community

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with the heartwork piece of it.

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But I have this strong desire for marriage.

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I wanted, I so wanted to be married

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because I was 37 when I joined this group.

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I think it was 37, I've lost track of time.

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It was 37 when I joined this group.

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I was never married, but I had a son.

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And, you know, I was getting discouraged

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that that was ever going to happen for me.

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But when I joined this group, it was about heartwork,

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but I wanted marriage.

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And so one of the ladies that was in this community,

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such a great friend, her name is Bridget.

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She's actually, she found her husband

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and she recently just had a baby,

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which again, that in of itself is a story,

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but she bought a similar ornament

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and I felt drawn to go do the same thing.

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And so I put this on my tree as a reminder

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that next Christmas I was going to have a husband

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or be engaged.

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And so I shared with you ladies last week

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that my husband didn't come for over two years

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being in this program, okay?

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So sometimes this ornament was that next Christmas,

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this ornament was almost like a reminder

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that it didn't happen yet,

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but I still activated and put it on my tree.

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And so I was thinking about that this morning

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and sharing that with you ladies,

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was I'm still gonna put this on my tree this year

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and here's why, and I felt like God,

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this is what.

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God really wanted me to share with you ladies is that there was a time in my life early on before

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my husband came into my life where being single was a struggle. There was some growing pain. There

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was some refining. There was a process that was happening by being in this community and being

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single. I'd love to tell you ladies that it was all easy, but Jackie often shares that it doesn't

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have to be easy. It has to be worth it. All of God's promises aren't usually going to be very

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easy, but they are going to come with the process. I'm reminded that now I have the marriage,

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right? I have the ring on my finger, all that kind of stuff. It's a reminder of God's faithfulness

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is why I'm putting that on my tree this year because I have to share with you ladies.

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Jackie even touches briefly on this in Supernatural Saturday is that we often think that

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what we might not have right now in this season that we're wishing for, we're hoping for,

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that if we just had that, life would be good. Everything would fall into place. Life would

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be perfect. We'd be happy. We wouldn't feel lonely, all that kind of stuff, right?

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When the truth is that even in marriage, there's a refining process. There's some

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seasons where maybe it's not easy. That's where I'm at in my life right now. I'm blending a family.

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My husband and I have been married for one year, three months. I know that because

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today my husband sent me a message, happy official being together anniversary. Two years ago today

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was when we became what? Official. We were officially a couple. When we officially became

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a couple, nine months later, we got married. Officially became a couple on September 3rd

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of that following year, we got married. Now I know, okay, that was nine months. We've been

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married for a year and three months. Let me tell you, I share this because

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we're blending a family. He's got two teenage kids. I got a little boy that just turned nine

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a few months ago. We're blending family. We're in a hard season right now where my husband

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had a great job, but God pulled him out of that to start an entrepreneurship.

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It's not been an easy season. At times, it's really easy for me to focus on the negative,

331
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but I was so reminded and wanted to share with you ladies the importance of keeping positive.

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That's what I want to activate you ladies with. I want you to take some time this week

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to think back on things that you wished for or you prayed for that God has delivered that promise

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to you. Share with us in that community because here's the thing ladies,

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if we keep our eyes on what he has done and what he's doing and we're staying positive,

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we can shift out of that negative focus. I want you to be thinking about that. What has

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shared in our community? What is something that God has done for you in the past? Let it be a

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reminder that if he's done it for you in the past, when the enemy wants to creep in

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and share with you and remind you, oh, this is the holiday season, you're single,

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all that kind of stuff. We talked about last week about how sometimes the season

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in Christmas, it's just a reminder that maybe we're single. Ladies, let me tell you,

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I was single for 40 years. My husband came right before my 40th birthday,

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proposed to me on my 40th birthday, but I was single for that long.

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But again, he does deliver on his promises. He is faithful. Be thinking about that.

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I also want, now this one might stretch you ladies. I shared the easy activation first because

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it's easy for us to remember what God's done for us in the past and share that in their community

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because I want you ladies to keep focus of he's done it in the past, he's going to continue to

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He's done it in the past. He's going to continue to keep delivering on his promises. Now,

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this one is going to stretch some of you.

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I want to activate you ladies to go buy a Christmas gift for your future husband.

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I won't sit on that one because I know some of you are like,

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what? I don't even have a potential guy right now.

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That's the point. Because here's the thing, ladies,

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because God's going to deliver on this promise for you.

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Jackie has shared in the past,

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and this happened to me,

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is she shares often that we

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sometimes don't do things because we still have disbelief.

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There's some people in this community that still are

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not quite sure they believe that God's going to bring their husband.

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But we're going to activate that he is,

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and it's going to be stepping into it.

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We're going to do something to partner with it.

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I'm asking you ladies to go buy a gift for your future husband,

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because there's going to be a Christmas,

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you're going to have a husband,

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and guess what? You're going to get that gift to him.

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It's going to be a reminder,

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like my ornament is a reminder that God's faithful.

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I did this in a season I wasn't dating anybody,

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didn't have anybody potential.

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I'll even share this.

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I wasn't even thinking about sharing this,

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but I've shared it before,

375
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and God's just even reminding me because I want,

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because I think some of you think this is like,

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you're maybe reluctant to go buy a gift for your husband.

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Because you're like, yes, I don't know what he wants.

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I want you to sit with that,

380
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I want you to pray about it.

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It's not going to show you something good to give him.

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But I share this because ladies,

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I bought my wedding dress before I even met my husband.

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I joined this program in 2020,

385
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and then in 2021,

386
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in this community, we did a retreat.

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There was 25 of us women in this community.

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We all traveled to Austin, Texas.

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Jackie took us to a bridal boutique to try on wedding dresses.

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There were, I think,

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between 7-10 of us that bought our wedding dresses.

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That was in 2021.

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00:27:18.120 --> 00:27:22.360
I didn't get married until 2023.

394
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I wore the dress that I bought.

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I did. I had to start believing that I was the bride.

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I had to start believing that God had a husband for me.

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God was pressing me to do things that seems crazy on the outside.

398
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Some of you all think I'm crazy for

399
00:27:43.280 --> 00:27:45.680
activating you all to go buy a present for your husband

400
00:27:45.680 --> 00:27:47.080
when you don't even know who he is.

401
00:27:47.080 --> 00:27:49.000
Maybe you haven't even met him yet.

402
00:27:49.000 --> 00:27:51.040
I didn't meet my husband,

403
00:27:51.040 --> 00:27:53.160
and I went and bought a wedding dress.

404
00:27:53.160 --> 00:27:57.320
I just want you ladies to start partnering with

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00:27:57.320 --> 00:28:00.960
the belief that God has a spirit mate for you.

406
00:28:00.960 --> 00:28:05.160
Good? I'm going to go through in some of these.

407
00:28:05.160 --> 00:28:07.360
I haven't checked all these little messages.

408
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I'm going to go ahead and do that.

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00:28:10.840 --> 00:28:15.240
Mariska, she rested well during the holidays and went dancing.

410
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This is what she did for self-care.

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She loves to dance.

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Being single is a challenge to find a partner,

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but I go trusting God for a partner and he always provides.

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I love that.

415
00:28:27.040 --> 00:28:30.000
Love, love, love that.

416
00:28:30.360 --> 00:28:35.080
Let's see. My Christmas tree has been a prophetic tree for

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00:28:35.080 --> 00:28:39.480
over 20 years and everything I put there came to pass.

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Yes, I have a couple ornament on my tree.

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Love it, love it, love it.

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This should be confirmation, right?

421
00:28:49.000 --> 00:28:50.840
This is good stuff.

422
00:28:50.840 --> 00:28:52.800
God is so good.

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00:28:52.800 --> 00:28:55.880
A gazillion of passwords that I've entered every day

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00:28:55.880 --> 00:28:58.320
include bride 2025 words.

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00:28:58.320 --> 00:29:00.360
Yes, so good, so good, so good.

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00:29:00.360 --> 00:29:05.040
I love this. So good.

427
00:29:05.040 --> 00:29:07.640
I love it. I love it.

428
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Perfect, perfect, perfect.

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00:29:10.520 --> 00:29:12.600
Jackie prophesied that someone will meet

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00:29:12.600 --> 00:29:15.280
her future in December 2024.

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I believe that for myself.

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00:29:17.000 --> 00:29:19.160
Anybody else believe that?

433
00:29:19.160 --> 00:29:26.040
Mariska, I love this because this reminds me of my story.

434
00:29:26.440 --> 00:29:29.920
It was 2022, it was the beginning of November.

435
00:29:29.920 --> 00:29:34.440
I was really discouraged about marriage.

436
00:29:34.480 --> 00:29:39.000
I thought I was going to meet and marry my person in 2022.

437
00:29:39.000 --> 00:29:40.200
Jackie shared with me,

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00:29:40.200 --> 00:29:41.960
you know what, you're not getting married this year,

439
00:29:41.960 --> 00:29:45.720
but she believed that I was going to meet

440
00:29:45.720 --> 00:29:49.400
my husband before the end of the year.

441
00:29:49.400 --> 00:29:52.640
Ladies, it was November, okay?

442
00:29:52.640 --> 00:29:54.760
Beginning of November, okay?

443
00:29:54.760 --> 00:29:56.920
I was like, yeah, whatever, right?

444
00:29:56.920 --> 00:29:58.680
But she assured me, she was like,

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00:29:58.680 --> 00:30:00.200
look, borrow my hand.

446
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.680
Borrow my face. It is a week later. My husband dropped into my DMS a

447
00:30:06.600 --> 00:30:11.240
Week later I met my husband before the end of that year

448
00:30:12.800 --> 00:30:14.320
So I love that

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00:30:14.320 --> 00:30:19.200
You know because I truly believe that because if he can do that for me and my love story

450
00:30:19.400 --> 00:30:21.400
Who's to say he can't do that for any of you?

451
00:30:23.080 --> 00:30:25.080
Right

452
00:30:25.360 --> 00:30:32.880
So I thank you so much for sharing that Mariska because I get like I believe that I believe that there is somebody in our

453
00:30:33.200 --> 00:30:36.960
community if not one but a handful of them were

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Some of you some of you ladies are they're gonna are gonna meet your husbands

455
00:30:41.920 --> 00:30:43.880
before the end of the year

456
00:30:43.880 --> 00:30:45.920
So hold on to that

457
00:30:46.840 --> 00:30:53.880
Yes, second time that's been said today. So good. Love it. Let that activate your faith

458
00:30:54.560 --> 00:30:57.520
Let that give you encouragement let that give you hope

459
00:30:58.360 --> 00:31:04.120
Okay, we don't have to be in a down like slump in our holiday season

460
00:31:04.360 --> 00:31:12.140
We can fix our eyes on him the positive things that he's doing know that he's a good father and stay

461
00:31:13.440 --> 00:31:18.600
Positive. Okay, it's super super super important. All right, so your activations

462
00:31:19.120 --> 00:31:22.040
buy a Christmas present for your husband and

463
00:31:22.880 --> 00:31:26.440
I want y'all like share a picture of it

464
00:31:28.000 --> 00:31:31.720
Or at least wrap it and show us a picture of your beautiful wrapping

465
00:31:31.720 --> 00:31:33.720
I don't know about y'all, but I'm a sucker for like

466
00:31:34.600 --> 00:31:36.720
like pristine looking wrapping paper

467
00:31:37.600 --> 00:31:44.640
Before I had three kids and I had more time on my hand. I used to love wrapping Christmas gifts now like I

468
00:31:45.360 --> 00:31:47.360
Have you know?

469
00:31:47.880 --> 00:31:51.120
Aspirations that as the Christmas gifts are coming in for my kids

470
00:31:51.120 --> 00:31:54.480
I want to take time to wrap each and every one of them my goal

471
00:31:54.480 --> 00:31:56.440
I can't promise that's gonna happen

472
00:31:56.440 --> 00:32:02.400
But you know show us pictures of you beautifully wrapped present for your husband and I want to see those pictures

473
00:32:03.080 --> 00:32:08.240
Okay, share with us like what God spoke to you and buying that gift

474
00:32:09.160 --> 00:32:14.920
because I really do think God's gonna highlight something and you're gonna see that when you give it to your husband it was the

475
00:32:14.920 --> 00:32:21.840
Perfect gift for him and then it's gonna be a reminder in your marriage season of just God's faithfulness

476
00:32:23.360 --> 00:32:29.600
You know, I needed that I needed the reminder that God is faithful that's why I'm putting my ornament on my tree

477
00:32:32.120 --> 00:32:34.160
Because I need reminding that you know

478
00:32:34.160 --> 00:32:37.080
If God did God brought that promise that has been for me

479
00:32:37.080 --> 00:32:42.920
Then there's a purpose in our marriage and in our family and in our season of having to you know

480
00:32:42.920 --> 00:32:45.240
Rough out the edgy edges that you know

481
00:32:45.240 --> 00:32:52.000
There's gonna be a testimony in my marriage and in my family with my kids and even though it's not easy

482
00:32:53.000 --> 00:32:58.080
We're gonna have an awesome story to tell of God's faithfulness in this season that I'm in

483
00:32:58.480 --> 00:33:01.360
Okay, cuz Jackie again and that supernatural Saturday

484
00:33:01.360 --> 00:33:06.640
She briefly touches on you know, we all think that the marriage is gonna come in our lives

485
00:33:06.640 --> 00:33:11.320
They're gonna be perfect, but there's hardness and you know, I don't like to say that word often

486
00:33:11.320 --> 00:33:15.920
But there is an and there's a discomfort. There's a growing there's a refining in

487
00:33:16.360 --> 00:33:21.680
Marriage and it just draws out new opportunity for us to grow

488
00:33:23.120 --> 00:33:26.280
Okay, so that's gonna be important to remember

489
00:33:26.840 --> 00:33:31.760
Okay, and that's why heart work is so important because let me tell you you think y'all doing heart work now

490
00:33:32.200 --> 00:33:37.520
wait till you start dating because that's gonna bring out all those little little triggers and stuff and little

491
00:33:37.720 --> 00:33:45.040
Offenses and you're gonna have to apply some heartwork stuff while you're dating and the things that are gonna start coming up

492
00:33:45.200 --> 00:33:48.400
Okay, and then when you ladies get married

493
00:33:49.360 --> 00:33:51.360
And you start living with your husband

494
00:33:52.360 --> 00:33:56.040
And then if you have kids on top of it, it will be all sorts of stuff

495
00:33:56.040 --> 00:33:59.880
Okay, and they're gonna be heart work stuff that you're gonna have to do there, too. All right

496
00:34:00.880 --> 00:34:05.520
All right. Do I have everybody with me every good? How's everybody feeling right now?

497
00:34:06.320 --> 00:34:13.520
Before I jump into some more things I want like if you feel led to kind of share something go ahead and unmute

498
00:34:14.320 --> 00:34:15.400
and

499
00:34:15.400 --> 00:34:17.400
Let us know like how's everybody feeling?

500
00:34:18.280 --> 00:34:22.199
Anybody have some reluctance anybody excited about what I just shared

501
00:34:23.639 --> 00:34:26.080
Let's get talking. Let's get connected

502
00:34:27.800 --> 00:34:29.800
In fact, you know what ladies

503
00:34:31.440 --> 00:34:34.639
God highlighted this to me earlier and I almost forgot about it

504
00:34:35.760 --> 00:34:39.139
But it's important to connect with your sisters here and I touched on it earlier

505
00:34:40.560 --> 00:34:47.080
But our app doesn't make it super easy to do right? We can't like direct message. So if you feel led I

506
00:34:48.679 --> 00:34:50.760
Want you to put your email

507
00:34:52.120 --> 00:34:59.440
Or even maybe your phone number if you are open to someone in this community that's on this chat right now

508
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.160
that you would be open for someone connecting with you,

509
00:35:04.160 --> 00:35:08.120
go ahead and share your info.

510
00:35:11.880 --> 00:35:15.360
See, look, I'm just stretching you ladies all sorts today,

511
00:35:15.360 --> 00:35:18.040
aren't I? Like what?

512
00:35:18.040 --> 00:35:20.000
You want me to buy a Christmas gift for somebody?

513
00:35:20.000 --> 00:35:24.280
You want me to give out my information to complete strangers?

514
00:35:25.800 --> 00:35:27.840
Amy, I love it.

515
00:35:27.840 --> 00:35:31.840
You're laughing with me, I appreciate it.

516
00:35:31.840 --> 00:35:33.240
You're humoring me.

517
00:35:34.320 --> 00:35:35.880
I love it, I love it.

518
00:35:36.960 --> 00:35:40.840
Anybody? Yes, Jill, thank you.

519
00:35:40.840 --> 00:35:45.840
So ladies, Jill is open to you connecting with her.

520
00:35:46.680 --> 00:35:49.160
She's got her email, she's got her phone number.

521
00:35:49.160 --> 00:35:52.680
If you want to shoot her a text, reach out to her.

522
00:35:52.680 --> 00:35:55.400
Levina, she's got her email.

523
00:35:56.400 --> 00:35:58.560
Jennifer, she's got hers.

524
00:35:58.560 --> 00:36:03.320
Summer, yes, let's start connecting with your sisters here.

525
00:36:03.320 --> 00:36:06.840
Let's start building relationship because here's the thing.

526
00:36:06.840 --> 00:36:09.600
You know, I'm gonna just briefly touch

527
00:36:09.600 --> 00:36:13.280
on our Dating 101 video.

528
00:36:13.280 --> 00:36:17.840
And sometimes we get into phase two

529
00:36:17.840 --> 00:36:19.680
and some of us aren't ready to start dating

530
00:36:19.680 --> 00:36:21.600
or, you know, we're working on it.

531
00:36:21.600 --> 00:36:23.640
And, but it doesn't mean

532
00:36:23.640 --> 00:36:25.880
that we can't start practicing connection

533
00:36:25.880 --> 00:36:28.120
with community and people.

534
00:36:28.120 --> 00:36:30.200
That's why I think it's so important

535
00:36:31.240 --> 00:36:33.600
to go ahead and do that.

536
00:36:33.600 --> 00:36:36.680
So look, look at you, Priscilla's got her info up.

537
00:36:36.680 --> 00:36:39.320
Amy, Mariska, she's got her info.

538
00:36:39.320 --> 00:36:43.280
So ladies, jot some of these down.

539
00:36:43.280 --> 00:36:44.800
You know, you don't have to jot them all,

540
00:36:44.800 --> 00:36:48.480
but if God's highlighting a certain one to you,

541
00:36:48.480 --> 00:36:50.040
go ahead and do that.

542
00:36:50.960 --> 00:36:52.200
Shoot a text.

543
00:36:52.200 --> 00:36:54.760
Hey, I was on the live call today.

544
00:36:54.760 --> 00:36:55.600
Would love to connect.

545
00:36:55.600 --> 00:36:57.280
Would love to pray for you.

546
00:36:57.280 --> 00:37:00.000
Would love to get to know you better.

547
00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:01.440
All right.

548
00:37:01.440 --> 00:37:03.680
We put you in phase two and we start asking you

549
00:37:03.680 --> 00:37:06.040
to come out of hiding and start dating, right?

550
00:37:06.040 --> 00:37:09.720
And I know myself, it took me a year to like start dating.

551
00:37:09.720 --> 00:37:13.120
I wouldn't advise that, but that's what took me for a while.

552
00:37:13.120 --> 00:37:15.880
But I still was able to put other things in practice.

553
00:37:15.880 --> 00:37:17.880
And I use this community of women,

554
00:37:17.880 --> 00:37:20.760
of people I didn't know to start building connection.

555
00:37:20.760 --> 00:37:22.560
And like I said, many of the women

556
00:37:22.560 --> 00:37:24.440
that I met in this community were in my wedding.

557
00:37:24.440 --> 00:37:25.480
They were in my bridal party.

558
00:37:25.480 --> 00:37:27.360
They came to my wedding.

559
00:37:27.360 --> 00:37:29.160
I still stay connected with.

560
00:37:29.160 --> 00:37:31.280
I would, even before I met my husband,

561
00:37:31.280 --> 00:37:33.400
we would, I would travel with my youngest son

562
00:37:33.400 --> 00:37:35.200
and I would meet other women.

563
00:37:35.200 --> 00:37:37.080
I also at the time lived in Florida.

564
00:37:37.080 --> 00:37:39.760
So women would come down and visit me

565
00:37:39.760 --> 00:37:41.760
and I would just connect and I would get,

566
00:37:41.760 --> 00:37:43.560
I would do real life with them.

567
00:37:44.560 --> 00:37:46.120
I would go out to lunch with them.

568
00:37:46.120 --> 00:37:49.640
I went to an Atlanta Braves baseball game

569
00:37:49.640 --> 00:37:51.440
with a couple of the ladies.

570
00:37:51.440 --> 00:37:53.520
I wasn't, I didn't even live in Atlanta,

571
00:37:53.520 --> 00:37:54.360
but I was visiting.

572
00:37:54.360 --> 00:37:56.320
I was taking my son on a trip to the mountains.

573
00:37:56.320 --> 00:37:58.880
And then we decided to stop in Atlanta for a few days.

574
00:37:58.880 --> 00:38:01.440
I stayed with, actually stayed with one of the ladies

575
00:38:01.440 --> 00:38:02.560
in this community.

576
00:38:02.560 --> 00:38:03.800
We never met.

577
00:38:03.800 --> 00:38:06.720
Actually, we did meet on a retreat, but she had two kids.

578
00:38:06.720 --> 00:38:09.440
And so me and my son went and stayed with her.

579
00:38:09.440 --> 00:38:10.520
We had such a great time.

580
00:38:10.520 --> 00:38:12.560
Our boys became friends.

581
00:38:12.560 --> 00:38:15.120
Like my son still talks about her son, Aiden,

582
00:38:15.120 --> 00:38:17.080
like, hey, how's he doing?

583
00:38:18.200 --> 00:38:21.240
So it's good to start putting into practice

584
00:38:21.240 --> 00:38:23.720
this connecting with one another in community.

585
00:38:23.720 --> 00:38:26.400
Because here's your sisters that are doing this season

586
00:38:26.400 --> 00:38:28.520
of singleness and life with you.

587
00:38:28.520 --> 00:38:30.240
And then as you get to know each other,

588
00:38:30.240 --> 00:38:32.240
then y'all are gonna start realizing

589
00:38:32.240 --> 00:38:33.480
y'all start gonna get married

590
00:38:33.480 --> 00:38:35.800
and then you're gonna go do married life with each other.

591
00:38:35.800 --> 00:38:38.080
Okay, me and Bethany were in the community together

592
00:38:38.080 --> 00:38:39.280
and she and I are both married.

593
00:38:39.280 --> 00:38:41.320
And there's times that I reach out to her

594
00:38:41.320 --> 00:38:44.080
when I'm like, needing advice

595
00:38:44.080 --> 00:38:46.400
or needing perspective on my marriage.

596
00:38:46.400 --> 00:38:48.520
And she's able to kind of share and pour into me

597
00:38:48.520 --> 00:38:50.680
and we help each other out in that way.

598
00:38:50.680 --> 00:38:52.440
Like you want to do life with people.

599
00:38:52.440 --> 00:38:54.520
I know Jackie even shared with that.

600
00:38:57.080 --> 00:38:59.120
Did she share with her on this Supernatural Saturday?

601
00:38:59.120 --> 00:39:03.440
Maybe it was on one of her social medias about,

602
00:39:03.440 --> 00:39:08.440
God put us together to do life in community with people

603
00:39:08.600 --> 00:39:10.760
and have relationship with people.

604
00:39:10.760 --> 00:39:12.640
That was his divine plan.

605
00:39:12.680 --> 00:39:15.440
Was relationship, not just with your husband,

606
00:39:15.440 --> 00:39:18.080
but with people in general and community.

607
00:39:18.080 --> 00:39:20.160
All right, so I love that ladies.

608
00:39:20.160 --> 00:39:22.440
So make sure that you connect

609
00:39:22.440 --> 00:39:23.960
with one of your sisters here.

610
00:39:25.160 --> 00:39:30.160
So Dating 101, if you watch that video

611
00:39:30.440 --> 00:39:32.520
or refer back to when you watch that video,

612
00:39:32.520 --> 00:39:36.520
we talked a little bit about the levels of relationship.

613
00:39:36.520 --> 00:39:39.600
So I'm briefly just gonna touch on a few of those.

614
00:39:39.600 --> 00:39:42.080
So level one is that meeting and community.

615
00:39:42.520 --> 00:39:44.320
So all you ladies right here now

616
00:39:44.320 --> 00:39:47.000
are all in level one relationship with each other.

617
00:39:47.000 --> 00:39:49.200
You're in community with one another.

618
00:39:49.200 --> 00:39:50.160
You're gonna start reaching out

619
00:39:50.160 --> 00:39:52.560
and you're gonna get to know one another, okay?

620
00:39:53.720 --> 00:39:56.840
So you're in level one with these ladies.

621
00:39:56.840 --> 00:40:00.120
Then level two dating, it doesn't, it's the.

622
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:06.120
Um, level two is when you actually are officially like dating people.

623
00:40:06.160 --> 00:40:06.520
Okay.

624
00:40:06.520 --> 00:40:07.880
And that can be men and women.

625
00:40:08.240 --> 00:40:11.320
So this is still level two is still a platonic stage.

626
00:40:12.120 --> 00:40:20.280
So a lot of you ladies are going to, to, to, um, be stretched here.

627
00:40:20.480 --> 00:40:21.880
I mean, I'm going to try to see how I want it.

628
00:40:23.000 --> 00:40:25.640
You're going to be stretched in this season because what we teach here in

629
00:40:25.640 --> 00:40:30.200
last year's single is when you're in level two relationship, okay.

630
00:40:31.040 --> 00:40:32.520
And you're going out on dates with guys.

631
00:40:32.520 --> 00:40:37.280
So we consider live date your face to face or a video date would

632
00:40:37.280 --> 00:40:39.200
be a level two relationship.

633
00:40:40.360 --> 00:40:41.280
I'm going to stretch.

634
00:40:41.280 --> 00:40:44.920
Some of y'all here is this is a level where you're still resisting romance.

635
00:40:47.160 --> 00:40:54.280
This was new for me when I came into this program confession, when I

636
00:40:54.280 --> 00:40:57.320
would go on a date with people, I often kiss people on the first date.

637
00:40:57.680 --> 00:41:01.160
I got romantic real quick with guys that just knew.

638
00:41:02.440 --> 00:41:07.680
And this program helped me realize that I was, you know, kind of

639
00:41:07.680 --> 00:41:14.080
exhilarating a little too fast and trusting people with more things that

640
00:41:14.080 --> 00:41:18.160
probably need to be shared with someone that you have built relationship with.

641
00:41:18.240 --> 00:41:19.640
I was doing that too soon.

642
00:41:20.640 --> 00:41:24.360
So this doesn't mean that you're not going to talk about your life in detail.

643
00:41:24.680 --> 00:41:29.280
It just means you're going to learn to talk about more high level versions,

644
00:41:29.280 --> 00:41:33.120
something that are more personal, personal pieces, but on a higher

645
00:41:33.120 --> 00:41:36.200
level of, um, getting to know you.

646
00:41:36.560 --> 00:41:36.720
Okay.

647
00:41:36.720 --> 00:41:39.520
You're not going to get into that intimacy of like really getting

648
00:41:39.520 --> 00:41:41.040
into the nitty gritty of things.

649
00:41:41.120 --> 00:41:41.680
Okay.

650
00:41:41.960 --> 00:41:45.760
We talk about, you know, getting, not getting into the weeds with somebody,

651
00:41:45.800 --> 00:41:49.760
not digging into the X files, not, you know, oversharing.

652
00:41:49.760 --> 00:41:50.000
Okay.

653
00:41:50.000 --> 00:41:51.080
I was an overshare.

654
00:41:51.760 --> 00:41:54.120
That was, I was notorious for that.

655
00:41:55.080 --> 00:41:59.160
So keep in mind that you can have, you're going to have level two

656
00:41:59.160 --> 00:42:01.040
relationship with men and women.

657
00:42:01.920 --> 00:42:06.760
So when you approach dating, you don't have to look at it from a

658
00:42:06.760 --> 00:42:09.040
perspective of, is this guy, my husband?

659
00:42:10.960 --> 00:42:13.720
You know, is this someone that I'm like super duper attracted to?

660
00:42:13.720 --> 00:42:15.520
And I can't wait to make out with his face.

661
00:42:15.880 --> 00:42:16.160
Okay.

662
00:42:17.480 --> 00:42:17.840
All right.

663
00:42:17.840 --> 00:42:19.120
We're going to resist that.

664
00:42:19.120 --> 00:42:23.280
We're going to really get to know and be intentional with getting to know

665
00:42:23.280 --> 00:42:27.520
people and see, okay, do we have things that do I enjoy being with this person?

666
00:42:27.920 --> 00:42:28.720
Do I have fun?

667
00:42:28.720 --> 00:42:29.600
Can I laugh?

668
00:42:30.200 --> 00:42:32.280
Can I talk about, you know, things that I enjoy?

669
00:42:32.280 --> 00:42:36.200
Do, can I do activities with this person and have a good time?

670
00:42:37.160 --> 00:42:37.640
Okay.

671
00:42:37.680 --> 00:42:38.800
We do that with women.

672
00:42:39.320 --> 00:42:40.800
So why can't we do that with men?

673
00:42:41.480 --> 00:42:42.160
Okay.

674
00:42:42.400 --> 00:42:43.720
It takes the pressure off.

675
00:42:44.320 --> 00:42:47.920
I will tell you, I didn't do this perfectly when I was in this program.

676
00:42:48.040 --> 00:42:48.600
Okay.

677
00:42:48.840 --> 00:42:53.360
But I share it because I do think it's important to be reminded and to

678
00:42:53.360 --> 00:42:56.160
be keeping intentional with that.

679
00:42:56.200 --> 00:42:56.840
Okay.

680
00:42:57.040 --> 00:43:00.160
Doesn't mean that if you made a mistake, you can come share it with us.

681
00:43:00.160 --> 00:43:03.960
We're not going to like, you know, get on you and be super harsh on you.

682
00:43:04.240 --> 00:43:08.080
We're just going to, again, it's just going to be a way of reminding

683
00:43:08.080 --> 00:43:09.920
and saying, okay, this is why.

684
00:43:10.080 --> 00:43:14.000
Because then we start seeing and pulling in the pieces because let me tell you

685
00:43:14.040 --> 00:43:18.080
ladies, when we start doing some of the things like getting in the romance,

686
00:43:18.320 --> 00:43:19.920
things start getting a little mucky.

687
00:43:20.400 --> 00:43:21.080
All right.

688
00:43:22.040 --> 00:43:23.800
And we have these learning experiences.

689
00:43:23.800 --> 00:43:24.840
It's a growing process.

690
00:43:24.840 --> 00:43:28.560
So just know we're not going to do it perfectly, but let's keep that

691
00:43:28.560 --> 00:43:31.040
in mind as we go into level two.

692
00:43:31.560 --> 00:43:34.200
And then level three is where it's exclusive.

693
00:43:34.600 --> 00:43:34.800
Okay.

694
00:43:34.800 --> 00:43:38.440
That's where we are now dating just one person.

695
00:43:39.000 --> 00:43:46.200
And we encourage that you at least have a month, if not a little more in the

696
00:43:46.200 --> 00:43:51.960
discovering dating stage, that level two stage of getting to know somebody before

697
00:43:51.960 --> 00:43:56.760
you jump into level three, no matter how magical and perfect it seems.

698
00:43:57.560 --> 00:44:00.000
Oh, but it's just like, it's like, he's my person.

699
00:44:00.000 --> 00:44:02.640
Like, oh, we just have such a connection.

700
00:44:02.840 --> 00:44:07.240
Let's resist some of that exclusivity early on.

701
00:44:07.240 --> 00:44:09.760
Let's really give it at least a month, if not more.

702
00:44:10.240 --> 00:44:12.760
Also jot this down.

703
00:44:12.800 --> 00:44:16.520
We really encourage men to lead into level three.

704
00:44:17.480 --> 00:44:18.160
Okay.

705
00:44:18.520 --> 00:44:22.400
We talk a lot about, you know, we can drop a hanky.

706
00:44:22.400 --> 00:44:25.280
We can let guys know that we're interested, that we'd be open

707
00:44:25.280 --> 00:44:26.840
to getting, you know, on a date.

708
00:44:26.880 --> 00:44:27.560
Okay.

709
00:44:28.600 --> 00:44:31.000
You know, a lot of us are like, but I want to be pursued.

710
00:44:31.920 --> 00:44:34.360
No, there's gotta be some like reciprocation.

711
00:44:34.360 --> 00:44:37.840
You can drop the hanky after the first date, then we want to

712
00:44:37.840 --> 00:44:40.000
see the man initiating more.

713
00:44:40.160 --> 00:44:40.880
Okay.

714
00:44:41.200 --> 00:44:44.520
You're going to let them know after the first date, if you had a good time and

715
00:44:44.520 --> 00:44:47.920
would be open to doing it again, you're going to let them know at the end of the

716
00:44:47.920 --> 00:44:55.120
date, then when you connect, maybe later on that day or, you know, the next day,

717
00:44:55.360 --> 00:44:58.480
when y'all are then like calling each other on the phone, or maybe

718
00:44:58.480 --> 00:44:59.840
you're texting one another.

719
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.240
You're going to remind him like it was really fun. I would love to do that again sometime.

720
00:45:05.440 --> 00:45:10.480
Okay, don't always rely on what I told him I'd be interested in going out again

721
00:45:10.480 --> 00:45:13.680
at the end of the date. I mean, there's all sorts of like

722
00:45:13.680 --> 00:45:20.640
butterflies and jitters and first date kind of like, you know, don't assume that he believed

723
00:45:20.640 --> 00:45:26.640
that you really did want to go on a second date. Okay. If you were like me before this

724
00:45:26.720 --> 00:45:32.880
artwork and before last year single, I just said it because I thought it was the thing you said,

725
00:45:32.880 --> 00:45:35.520
even if I didn't want to go out on a date with a second date with a guy.

726
00:45:36.160 --> 00:45:38.880
Oh, you had a good time. Thanks. Yeah, we could do it again sometime

727
00:45:39.520 --> 00:45:46.320
with no intention of actually going on a second date. So again, if women are doing that,

728
00:45:46.320 --> 00:45:51.760
the guy might not be sure that you really do want to go on a second date. So it's okay.

729
00:45:52.720 --> 00:45:59.120
The next day or the next time you communicate to remind him you'd be open to doing it again.

730
00:45:59.680 --> 00:46:05.840
And then we want them in initiating. Okay, let them put something together. Okay.

731
00:46:07.440 --> 00:46:11.760
But you do that level two. And then as you've gotten to know each other,

732
00:46:11.760 --> 00:46:18.480
then again, that man initiating, hey, I really have gotten like he's going to come to me like,

733
00:46:18.560 --> 00:46:24.000
I want to be exclusive. I just want to date you again. Those are things share with us in

734
00:46:24.000 --> 00:46:30.400
the community, share with your coaches here when that happens, because we're going to help you see

735
00:46:30.400 --> 00:46:37.040
if it's yellow or green flags, because there are times that men want to just like love,

736
00:46:37.040 --> 00:46:41.280
bomb you and rush you into an exclusive relationship. When we want to make sure

737
00:46:41.280 --> 00:46:46.080
that you've spent time getting to know them before you agree to jumping into that level three.

738
00:46:47.040 --> 00:46:53.360
Okay. Or maybe some of you are like, you know, I, he's, he, you know, I just,

739
00:46:53.360 --> 00:46:59.120
I only want to date him and he hasn't asked me come with us with all of the, all the tidbit.

740
00:46:59.120 --> 00:47:07.040
Okay. So that I think that's about it for the levels of dating that I'm going to cover.

741
00:47:08.000 --> 00:47:16.320
And then let's play a show of hands before I dive into a few more things.

742
00:47:16.320 --> 00:47:20.800
How many of you have questions that you want some coaching on today?

743
00:47:23.360 --> 00:47:27.840
Go ahead, anybody just show of hand to your avatar hand. I want to go ahead and get,

744
00:47:27.840 --> 00:47:32.560
start getting those avatar hands up. I like to get an idea of how many people

745
00:47:33.440 --> 00:47:40.080
I have because I want to be mindful of time. Okay. So Jill, right now, she's one that's got

746
00:47:40.080 --> 00:47:45.200
a question. I know some of you newbies might be like, Oh, I don't want to be in the hot seat.

747
00:47:45.200 --> 00:47:53.360
It's totally fine. This is, this phase two is a smaller group so that you do get more

748
00:47:53.360 --> 00:47:58.400
one-on-one coaching because as you progress in this community, we have a bigger community.

749
00:47:58.960 --> 00:48:02.720
And so it's harder to get in front of the coach and get more one-on-one

750
00:48:02.720 --> 00:48:08.720
like pointers and tips of things that you're experiencing. Okay. So Holly, she's got one as

751
00:48:08.720 --> 00:48:14.960
well. Hey Mariska, I got encouraged to continue dating apps because I met a guy who went to the

752
00:48:14.960 --> 00:48:20.320
same dance event that I went to last month and there was no other way we would meet.

753
00:48:20.320 --> 00:48:25.440
He is part of a different dance group. We have a date tomorrow. Awesome. I love that. So Mariska,

754
00:48:25.440 --> 00:48:30.320
you have to make sure that you come into the app and you need to let us know how that date goes.

755
00:48:30.320 --> 00:48:40.480
I want all the deets. All right. We want to know. We want to be here to support you and

756
00:48:40.480 --> 00:48:47.600
celebrate with you. And then ladies, we ask that of you because then if there are any blind spots

757
00:48:47.600 --> 00:48:58.400
or yellow flags or green flag, we can communicate that with you. Okay. All right. So Jill and Holly,

758
00:48:58.400 --> 00:49:03.440
I'm going to do things a little differently. I'm going to go ahead and pause my teaching and then

759
00:49:03.440 --> 00:49:08.000
I'm going to let the two of you share your questions. And then we're going to come back

760
00:49:08.000 --> 00:49:13.120
after that. And I'm going to touch on a couple of things. I want to share with you a little bit

761
00:49:13.120 --> 00:49:18.320
about it being a yes until it's a no. Okay. So we're going to talk a little bit about that. What

762
00:49:18.320 --> 00:49:24.160
we mean by, what do you mean it's a yes until it's a no. So in terms of dating, what that looks like,

763
00:49:25.200 --> 00:49:30.480
I also want to talk a little bit about this idea. I see this, I've seen this the last couple of

764
00:49:30.480 --> 00:49:39.360
weeks, this idea that we're wasting time on dates with the person that's not our husband.

765
00:49:39.840 --> 00:49:44.640
So want to talk a little bit about that perspective and let's shift that perspective

766
00:49:44.640 --> 00:49:51.920
a little bit. And then the tying in with this idea of, you know, focusing all on

767
00:49:52.960 --> 00:49:57.280
where are the men at? I want to meet more men. When's Jackie going to introduce me to somebody?

768
00:49:58.640 --> 00:49:59.840
You know, where

769
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.880
Where can I meet guys? I mean, the whole like, where are the men at? All right.

770
00:50:04.160 --> 00:50:06.480
Cause I trust me.

771
00:50:06.640 --> 00:50:10.920
I know there's some of you ladies that that's all you want to know.

772
00:50:11.240 --> 00:50:14.600
I know some of you don't even want to do online dating because you're holding

773
00:50:14.600 --> 00:50:17.240
out that Jackie's going to match you with somebody. Cause that was me.

774
00:50:17.880 --> 00:50:20.040
I held out for a year from dating. Cause I was like,

775
00:50:20.280 --> 00:50:24.880
surely she's got somebody that she's going to introduce me to. All right.

776
00:50:25.080 --> 00:50:26.040
I was holding out.

777
00:50:26.840 --> 00:50:29.440
So I want to talk a little bit about that and,

778
00:50:29.680 --> 00:50:34.680
and help us look at some other perspectives about what else this community can

779
00:50:35.920 --> 00:50:40.640
bring, not just the man. And so help balancing that shift.

780
00:50:40.640 --> 00:50:42.480
So those are the things that we're going to share.

781
00:50:42.480 --> 00:50:45.080
I'm going to talk about a little bit later, but Jill,

782
00:50:45.880 --> 00:50:49.040
what do you have for us this week? What's going on? You've got a question,

783
00:50:49.040 --> 00:50:52.480
a comment. What's, what did, what coaching do you need?

784
00:50:52.880 --> 00:50:54.280
So, um,

785
00:50:54.560 --> 00:50:59.560
I felt leaving from the Holy spirit to start going on and trying dating apps

786
00:51:01.000 --> 00:51:02.760
again. Um,

787
00:51:02.920 --> 00:51:06.680
I have never once got a date from them in the past,

788
00:51:07.320 --> 00:51:11.000
but God is trying to challenge, you know,

789
00:51:12.040 --> 00:51:14.320
I'm not the same person I was. Um,

790
00:51:14.720 --> 00:51:18.800
and then I was feeling a lot of heaviness right after I had signed up.

791
00:51:19.080 --> 00:51:22.040
Cause like I haven't paid for some big, you know, not a lot,

792
00:51:22.040 --> 00:51:24.920
but just a couple just to be like, okay, let's really go in.

793
00:51:24.960 --> 00:51:28.400
I only did three cause I know we're only supposed to do,

794
00:51:28.440 --> 00:51:32.120
or you suggest that we only do a couple just to kind of, you know, keep it.

795
00:51:33.480 --> 00:51:37.520
Challenges I have is I don't feel like I am, um,

796
00:51:37.560 --> 00:51:42.400
geographically where I meant to be with these, um,

797
00:51:42.480 --> 00:51:45.640
apps. There's only a radius of a hundred,

798
00:51:45.640 --> 00:51:49.760
150 or max 240 miles in the past.

799
00:51:49.760 --> 00:51:52.200
I have run out of matches. Um,

800
00:51:52.520 --> 00:51:56.600
so I have opened up certain things beyond what I did before.

801
00:51:57.600 --> 00:52:02.600
Um, but I will be very honest that I don't feel like this is how I'm going to

802
00:52:03.160 --> 00:52:07.280
meet my husband. Um, but again,

803
00:52:07.280 --> 00:52:11.320
God is challenging me by reminding me that, um,

804
00:52:12.000 --> 00:52:15.680
I feel called to be a community builder, um,

805
00:52:15.960 --> 00:52:18.480
in the future and to be open.

806
00:52:18.480 --> 00:52:22.320
So I work from home and I don't interact with a lot of people.

807
00:52:22.560 --> 00:52:27.560
So to take this as an opportunity to just relearn how to have small talk,

808
00:52:28.120 --> 00:52:31.840
which I'm not good at, and I don't enjoy, but how do you,

809
00:52:31.920 --> 00:52:33.000
I think you're so hold on.

810
00:52:33.000 --> 00:52:36.840
I think you're good at it because I feel like this is your second week and you

811
00:52:36.840 --> 00:52:39.200
do that. Well, you interact and you're engaging.

812
00:52:39.200 --> 00:52:44.200
So I would disagree, but I think you're,

813
00:52:44.720 --> 00:52:45.760
I think you're great at it.

814
00:52:45.920 --> 00:52:48.840
Well, thank you. So, but you know, especially with men,

815
00:52:48.840 --> 00:52:52.920
I live in a smaller town where there's not a lot of single men around my age.

816
00:52:53.520 --> 00:52:55.200
Um, so there's a lot of like,

817
00:52:55.640 --> 00:52:59.760
it's going to take a God miracle for things to happen for me.

818
00:53:00.160 --> 00:53:00.800
Um,

819
00:53:00.800 --> 00:53:04.280
especially since where I feel like he's leading me as cross country and there's

820
00:53:04.280 --> 00:53:07.840
no open doors right now. So with all of that,

821
00:53:07.840 --> 00:53:10.880
I'm trying to lean into, um,

822
00:53:10.920 --> 00:53:13.040
if I feel like I'm supposed to be a community builder,

823
00:53:13.040 --> 00:53:15.000
how do I just get to know people,

824
00:53:15.120 --> 00:53:19.800
strangers and just be open to them and know that,

825
00:53:20.760 --> 00:53:24.400
um, you know, one of these men could be friends just like you, is it right?

826
00:53:24.400 --> 00:53:27.960
Could be friends with someone or a cousin or, you know,

827
00:53:27.960 --> 00:53:32.360
one of these ladies could know somebody, you know, or whatever,

828
00:53:32.480 --> 00:53:36.840
but I can at least get to know other people and, um,

829
00:53:37.040 --> 00:53:40.320
a very positive thing and not to take up too much time. I'm sorry, ladies,

830
00:53:40.320 --> 00:53:43.440
I know I'm being long-winded. Um, but I,

831
00:53:43.680 --> 00:53:48.320
so I started and I was able to hold some boundaries of like,

832
00:53:48.320 --> 00:53:52.880
you know, I don't want to just answer all day long on these apps.

833
00:53:53.080 --> 00:53:56.640
So between nine and nine are my window,

834
00:53:56.800 --> 00:54:00.920
but when I'm working, I'm not going to stop unless I'm on a break,

835
00:54:01.040 --> 00:54:05.680
like I would at lunchtime or after 5.00 PM. Um,

836
00:54:05.760 --> 00:54:09.520
and someone said, Hey, can I like call you?

837
00:54:09.920 --> 00:54:14.320
And, um, he asked me yesterday afternoon and I gave him a specific time.

838
00:54:14.720 --> 00:54:17.960
He misunderstood the time zone. And I said, Oh, I'm sorry.

839
00:54:18.240 --> 00:54:21.720
And I didn't just change my plans, which normally I would.

840
00:54:21.960 --> 00:54:24.640
So that's good. Um,

841
00:54:24.680 --> 00:54:29.320
but I guess I'm saying all this cause I'm like, this is what I'm doing. Um,

842
00:54:29.480 --> 00:54:30.880
what are your thoughts?

843
00:54:30.960 --> 00:54:34.040
Or if you have any impressions from the Lord that you want to share,

844
00:54:34.520 --> 00:54:35.360
I guess, yeah.

845
00:54:36.000 --> 00:54:39.360
I I'm so appreciative that you come because there was a lot of really good

846
00:54:39.360 --> 00:54:41.800
things that I heard in your sharing.

847
00:54:42.520 --> 00:54:47.440
And I think it's really teachable for many of the ladies that are on this call

848
00:54:47.480 --> 00:54:51.000
and that will watch this and replay. So again, ladies,

849
00:54:51.000 --> 00:54:53.680
I want you to hear that, you know,

850
00:54:53.720 --> 00:54:58.680
she's being open and not just using this platform

851
00:54:58.720 --> 00:55:00.040
or this way of.

852
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.000
connecting with people as a, I'm just trying to meet my husband,

853
00:55:05.280 --> 00:55:07.400
but being more open of, okay,

854
00:55:07.400 --> 00:55:12.400
what else does God want to do in what he's,

855
00:55:12.480 --> 00:55:14.440
you know, kind of pressing me on,

856
00:55:14.680 --> 00:55:18.320
even though she doesn't feel like she's going to meet her husband online.

857
00:55:19.400 --> 00:55:20.240
Okay.

858
00:55:20.280 --> 00:55:25.240
So I think that's really positive and that it's helping you put into practice

859
00:55:25.600 --> 00:55:29.160
some of the things that we're teaching here of having the small talk,

860
00:55:29.360 --> 00:55:32.280
getting to know people, the boundaries.

861
00:55:32.760 --> 00:55:34.600
So y'all listen to what she said.

862
00:55:34.600 --> 00:55:38.760
Like she's learned a boundary where she's communicating, Hey, I,

863
00:55:39.320 --> 00:55:41.760
I'm not going to be on these apps.

864
00:55:41.760 --> 00:55:45.920
I'm not going to be communicating unless it's between this time and this time.

865
00:55:46.040 --> 00:55:49.040
And I'm not working and only when I'm on break.

866
00:55:49.400 --> 00:55:51.920
So she's balancing that real well.

867
00:55:52.920 --> 00:55:55.520
And that's important because I will tell you ladies,

868
00:55:55.560 --> 00:55:58.400
I didn't do that at first when I went online,

869
00:55:58.440 --> 00:56:00.200
like I got overwhelmed very easily.

870
00:56:00.200 --> 00:56:05.200
That's also why I encourage only doing like one to no more than three apps

871
00:56:06.080 --> 00:56:08.000
because it can get overwhelming,

872
00:56:08.280 --> 00:56:12.440
especially if you're kind of on the fence about doing online dating.

873
00:56:13.400 --> 00:56:18.320
If you're on the fence and then you start like having it consume your life,

874
00:56:18.560 --> 00:56:20.920
you're going to be like, okay, I don't want to do this.

875
00:56:21.360 --> 00:56:24.080
So it's important to have those boundaries.

876
00:56:25.040 --> 00:56:26.240
I'm only going to do,

877
00:56:26.240 --> 00:56:29.800
I'm only going to spend two hours on this day, this day, and this day.

878
00:56:29.800 --> 00:56:31.480
And it's going to be from this time to this time.

879
00:56:32.360 --> 00:56:35.360
I'm going to interact with people. I'm going to, you know,

880
00:56:35.440 --> 00:56:38.280
set boundaries if I'm going to reach out to them and that, you know,

881
00:56:38.280 --> 00:56:40.200
when I'm going to have conversation with them,

882
00:56:41.160 --> 00:56:45.440
because what's going to happen and I don't know about y'all,

883
00:56:45.440 --> 00:56:46.560
but I know it happened to me.

884
00:56:46.560 --> 00:56:51.200
So I'm pretty sure it's going to happen to all y'all is that I would get dudes

885
00:56:51.200 --> 00:56:52.760
that would message me all day long.

886
00:56:54.680 --> 00:56:58.240
I'm like, Oh, this is exhausting. Right. And I don't know you,

887
00:56:58.400 --> 00:57:01.120
you're going to have, you know, men, men are not going to do this.

888
00:57:01.120 --> 00:57:04.800
Well, just like us women don't always do it. Well, I mean, here's the thing.

889
00:57:04.800 --> 00:57:08.680
We have a community and you all have coaches to help you with this dating

890
00:57:08.680 --> 00:57:11.720
process. I will tell you a lot of these guys don't.

891
00:57:13.000 --> 00:57:15.760
So you're going to find that some men are going to want to have the

892
00:57:15.760 --> 00:57:17.480
inappropriate conversations with you.

893
00:57:18.640 --> 00:57:20.400
They're going to want to dive into the X files.

894
00:57:20.400 --> 00:57:21.800
They're going to want to know why you're single.

895
00:57:21.800 --> 00:57:23.600
They're going to want to talk about their exes.

896
00:57:24.320 --> 00:57:28.480
Some of them are even going to talk about sex. We're like, no,

897
00:57:28.480 --> 00:57:30.040
we're not doing that. Okay.

898
00:57:30.240 --> 00:57:32.320
That's when we're going to start learning boundaries.

899
00:57:32.320 --> 00:57:35.240
And that's why it's really important ladies.

900
00:57:35.240 --> 00:57:39.200
And so I love Jillian that you are bringing this up because this really does

901
00:57:39.200 --> 00:57:42.880
touch on a lot of things that I was going to go into teaching anyway.

902
00:57:43.720 --> 00:57:46.240
And unfortunately I see that Holly jumped off.

903
00:57:46.240 --> 00:57:47.800
So I wonder if she's going to be back on,

904
00:57:47.800 --> 00:57:52.440
because I want to make sure I make space for you ladies that want to ask

905
00:57:52.440 --> 00:57:56.840
questions or share things that there's time to do that. Okay. Mariska,

906
00:57:56.840 --> 00:57:59.520
she also has a question, so we'll get to that as well.

907
00:57:59.520 --> 00:58:04.480
But Jillian brought up a lot of really good things that I think are good

908
00:58:04.480 --> 00:58:09.240
things to have in perspective because she's putting things into

909
00:58:09.240 --> 00:58:13.480
practice. Her focus isn't, is this guy, my husband,

910
00:58:13.720 --> 00:58:16.360
where are all the men at? You know,

911
00:58:16.400 --> 00:58:17.680
it is really like,

912
00:58:17.720 --> 00:58:22.480
how can God use what he's pressing me to do now to grow

913
00:58:22.480 --> 00:58:25.400
me into who he has created me to be?

914
00:58:26.520 --> 00:58:29.600
She's finding other purpose and opportunity.

915
00:58:29.600 --> 00:58:34.000
And I think that's so important because I can't emphasize

916
00:58:34.000 --> 00:58:38.960
enough that oftentimes God

917
00:58:38.960 --> 00:58:43.240
may bring not the right people that you're, I mean,

918
00:58:43.600 --> 00:58:44.360
I shouldn't say that.

919
00:58:44.360 --> 00:58:46.960
Let me take that back because I don't like the way this is being worded.

920
00:58:47.800 --> 00:58:52.600
He may bring into your path other men

921
00:58:52.600 --> 00:58:57.080
that are not your spirit mate, not because he's holding out on you,

922
00:58:57.080 --> 00:59:01.240
but because he wants you to grow into things. Okay.

923
00:59:01.240 --> 00:59:03.960
So let me explain that. Okay.

924
00:59:04.280 --> 00:59:06.880
So for myself,

925
00:59:09.080 --> 00:59:14.080
I, I had, you know, a handful of dates. Okay.

926
00:59:14.080 --> 00:59:17.320
And again, this is the, I don't want to wait, like, let's, we're going to this.

927
00:59:17.320 --> 00:59:21.400
I don't want to waste my time. Right. Oh, I don't want to get to know him.

928
00:59:21.400 --> 00:59:24.240
I can already tell he's not my person. This is where, again,

929
00:59:24.240 --> 00:59:26.960
it's a yes until it's a no. Okay.

930
00:59:26.960 --> 00:59:30.840
When we say that we're like, give men second and third dates.

931
00:59:32.200 --> 00:59:32.800
Okay.

932
00:59:32.800 --> 00:59:37.760
We're not saying if he is like crossing all sorts of boundaries and he's being

933
00:59:37.760 --> 00:59:39.720
absolutely inappropriate,

934
00:59:40.240 --> 00:59:43.840
obviously there's situations of blessing and blocking.

935
00:59:44.840 --> 00:59:49.280
But sometimes we are so quick to be like, well,

936
00:59:49.320 --> 00:59:52.320
he doesn't go to church. So he's not for me.

937
00:59:54.280 --> 00:59:56.240
Ladies. When I met my husband,

938
00:59:56.240 --> 00:59:59.520
I was not religiously going to church every Sunday. Like I used to.

939
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:02.760
kind of pulled me from that for a little while

940
01:00:02.760 --> 01:00:04.800
because he was doing some other things than me.

941
01:00:04.800 --> 01:00:07.400
Okay, so just because a man's not going to church

942
01:00:07.400 --> 01:00:09.400
doesn't necessarily mean that he's not,

943
01:00:10.480 --> 01:00:12.800
you know, has a relationship with God.

944
01:00:12.800 --> 01:00:17.800
I say all of this to emphasize that

945
01:00:19.360 --> 01:00:23.720
there is sometimes a growing process.

946
01:00:23.720 --> 01:00:27.760
God brought me some really not great guys

947
01:00:27.760 --> 01:00:30.280
in my dating process that were inappropriate,

948
01:00:30.280 --> 01:00:33.160
that I learned very quickly that I'm like, ugh.

949
01:00:34.520 --> 01:00:36.280
But I didn't look at it as a negative.

950
01:00:36.280 --> 01:00:38.720
I didn't look at it as a disgust.

951
01:00:38.720 --> 01:00:41.360
I looked at it as, thank you, God,

952
01:00:41.360 --> 01:00:43.680
that I'm no longer attracted to that.

953
01:00:43.680 --> 01:00:48.160
Thank you, God, that I now have tools to hold boundaries.

954
01:00:48.160 --> 01:00:50.000
Thank you, God, for showing me

955
01:00:50.000 --> 01:00:52.400
that I'm no longer attracted to those type of men

956
01:00:52.400 --> 01:00:53.600
because I was.

957
01:00:54.800 --> 01:00:57.240
I was always being drawn to those guys,

958
01:00:57.240 --> 01:01:01.440
but God was, like, I had a few of those trickle in,

959
01:01:02.480 --> 01:01:06.440
but as a reminder that I was not attracted

960
01:01:07.760 --> 01:01:09.520
to those same type of men.

961
01:01:09.520 --> 01:01:12.200
And as I started recognizing that,

962
01:01:12.200 --> 01:01:17.200
God started bringing other men to date that were good men.

963
01:01:18.960 --> 01:01:22.560
All right, I dated a handful of guys that were good men,

964
01:01:23.520 --> 01:01:25.640
some from this program, some from not,

965
01:01:25.680 --> 01:01:29.600
some from online dating that weren't my person,

966
01:01:29.600 --> 01:01:31.320
but they were still good guys.

967
01:01:32.600 --> 01:01:33.960
And I could have been like, ugh,

968
01:01:33.960 --> 01:01:36.520
this is just a waste of my time, he's not my person.

969
01:01:36.520 --> 01:01:40.560
No, God showed me that I was starting

970
01:01:40.560 --> 01:01:43.880
to attract what I believed.

971
01:01:45.360 --> 01:01:48.000
He was showing me the goodness

972
01:01:48.000 --> 01:01:50.600
that there were good guys out there.

973
01:01:50.600 --> 01:01:53.320
And as I was healing and as I was learning more

974
01:01:53.320 --> 01:01:57.480
about myself, good guys started becoming attracted to me.

975
01:01:57.480 --> 01:01:59.840
I'm not saying, I don't hear what I'm not saying here.

976
01:01:59.840 --> 01:02:01.520
It means like, oh, you're not good enough,

977
01:02:01.520 --> 01:02:03.880
that's why some of these bad guys are coming.

978
01:02:03.880 --> 01:02:07.600
No, okay, but there are opportunities

979
01:02:07.600 --> 01:02:11.920
that if we start seeing patterns, we can recognize.

980
01:02:13.000 --> 01:02:18.000
Okay, so yes until it's a no,

981
01:02:18.600 --> 01:02:22.800
put the things into practice, it's investing time,

982
01:02:22.800 --> 01:02:24.480
it's not wasting time.

983
01:02:25.400 --> 01:02:27.640
So Jill is looking at this opportunity

984
01:02:27.640 --> 01:02:29.920
of she's getting to know people

985
01:02:29.920 --> 01:02:32.920
and it's helping her become a community builder.

986
01:02:32.920 --> 01:02:35.320
It's helping her put into practice other things

987
01:02:35.320 --> 01:02:38.040
that are going to prepare her for other things

988
01:02:38.040 --> 01:02:40.440
that God has in her life.

989
01:02:40.440 --> 01:02:42.320
That's not just about being a wife.

990
01:02:42.320 --> 01:02:44.720
Because ladies, there's more to you

991
01:02:44.720 --> 01:02:47.080
and your destiny DNA and your purpose

992
01:02:47.080 --> 01:02:48.320
than just being a wife.

993
01:02:49.560 --> 01:02:52.120
Your identity isn't just gonna be in being a wife

994
01:02:52.120 --> 01:02:53.360
or being a mom.

995
01:02:53.360 --> 01:02:57.680
There's other things that God has you on this earth to do

996
01:02:57.680 --> 01:03:01.280
and his purpose for, all right?

997
01:03:01.280 --> 01:03:04.160
Yes, God brings two of us together

998
01:03:04.160 --> 01:03:06.480
because there are certain things in life

999
01:03:06.480 --> 01:03:09.600
that God wants two people walking through

1000
01:03:09.600 --> 01:03:14.480
and I do believe that's why he is the divine plan

1001
01:03:14.480 --> 01:03:18.800
is marriage, but it's an investment, okay?

1002
01:03:18.800 --> 01:03:21.080
And we're looking at it that way.

1003
01:03:21.080 --> 01:03:23.000
So I love that.

1004
01:03:23.000 --> 01:03:25.200
Another thing, Jill, that you mentioned

1005
01:03:25.200 --> 01:03:26.800
was the distance thing.

1006
01:03:26.800 --> 01:03:29.840
So help me understand.

1007
01:03:29.840 --> 01:03:31.400
You said that some of these apps

1008
01:03:31.400 --> 01:03:34.040
don't let you expand your radius.

1009
01:03:34.040 --> 01:03:37.080
Like I'm curious what apps you're using

1010
01:03:37.080 --> 01:03:40.280
because I've always seen where it can open up.

1011
01:03:40.280 --> 01:03:43.480
I was someone who did not want today.

1012
01:03:43.480 --> 01:03:45.240
I wanted it to be super local.

1013
01:03:45.240 --> 01:03:47.560
But I do know there's a lot of women out there

1014
01:03:47.560 --> 01:03:49.040
that are open to long distance

1015
01:03:49.040 --> 01:03:52.280
because I do think if you don't know geographically

1016
01:03:52.280 --> 01:03:54.080
this is where you're gonna stay,

1017
01:03:54.080 --> 01:03:56.680
that you probably aren't open to long distance

1018
01:03:56.680 --> 01:03:57.520
and would like to broaden.

1019
01:03:57.520 --> 01:04:00.440
So I'm curious and maybe we can get some feedback

1020
01:04:00.440 --> 01:04:03.200
from some other ladies here in the community

1021
01:04:03.200 --> 01:04:06.960
that are on apps that maybe they have experience

1022
01:04:06.960 --> 01:04:09.840
with having a larger radius.

1023
01:04:09.840 --> 01:04:13.560
I'm using Hinge, Facebook dating and eHarmony.

1024
01:04:14.840 --> 01:04:16.280
Okay.

1025
01:04:17.120 --> 01:04:19.080
Facebook dating doesn't have that?

1026
01:04:19.080 --> 01:04:20.960
It has 240 miles.

1027
01:04:22.800 --> 01:04:24.520
Can I ask where do you live again?

1028
01:04:24.520 --> 01:04:28.200
I live in a small town outside of Chattanooga, Tennessee.

1029
01:04:28.200 --> 01:04:30.960
So it's a lot of other small towns.

1030
01:04:30.960 --> 01:04:31.800
Okay.

1031
01:04:31.800 --> 01:04:34.640
I don't, I just know that this is,

1032
01:04:34.640 --> 01:04:37.520
I would never moved here to stay here long-term.

1033
01:04:37.520 --> 01:04:38.360
Okay.

1034
01:04:38.360 --> 01:04:40.520
It's a short-term thing.

1035
01:04:40.520 --> 01:04:45.000
So definitely don't want, but it only goes to,

1036
01:04:45.040 --> 01:04:48.600
it does go a wide range of like Alabama,

1037
01:04:48.600 --> 01:04:51.640
parts of Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina,

1038
01:04:51.640 --> 01:04:53.240
up to Kentucky and all of that.

1039
01:04:53.240 --> 01:04:56.320
But it's just, this is not supposed to be,

1040
01:04:56.320 --> 01:04:57.360
like I just know.

1041
01:04:57.360 --> 01:05:00.040
So I'm open because there may be somebody who isn't.

1042
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.480
the same place. But I know in my heart, this is not where God has for me. And it's a lot

1043
01:05:06.480 --> 01:05:18.720
of the same guy in this region of the country as well. And I guy. So again, I know some

1044
01:05:18.720 --> 01:05:26.160
of them like when you when you travel, it then matches you with people that are where

1045
01:05:26.160 --> 01:05:30.880
you're geographically located. So let's say, okay, so I live in Texas now, and the Dallas

1046
01:05:30.880 --> 01:05:36.480
Fort Worth area, if I was on a dating app, and I, you know, went on a vacation to California,

1047
01:05:36.480 --> 01:05:40.560
and I'd log into my app, it would start matching me with people in the California area.

1048
01:05:40.560 --> 01:05:46.120
I can't. But here's the thing is, I don't want to change it to the place because I don't

1049
01:05:46.120 --> 01:05:50.440
know the exact city where God's calling me that I can. Yeah, I don't want to change it

1050
01:05:50.440 --> 01:05:53.680
there because I'm not there. I don't know when I'm going to be there. So I don't want

1051
01:05:53.760 --> 01:05:59.760
to be the man. So I think what you're doing now, though, is the fact that you have this

1052
01:05:59.760 --> 01:06:07.600
mindset that you're being open. And then, like you even mentioned, you never know who

1053
01:06:07.600 --> 01:06:13.120
you're going to meet that may be connected. Same thing like that's why I had you ladies

1054
01:06:13.120 --> 01:06:17.600
put your information, your contact information and start connecting with one another because

1055
01:06:17.600 --> 01:06:22.960
you never know how God is going to connect you to your spirit mate. So I think you're

1056
01:06:22.960 --> 01:06:27.840
doing the right thing. You're keeping the positive attitude. You're keeping that mindset.

1057
01:06:27.840 --> 01:06:31.520
You're not getting discouraged just because you're, you know, I mean, I'm sure it can

1058
01:06:31.520 --> 01:06:35.520
be discouraging that you're meeting the same type of guy. But I think, again, just being

1059
01:06:35.520 --> 01:06:41.840
reminded that this is all an opportunity. God is growing you. God is highlighting things

1060
01:06:41.840 --> 01:06:46.960
to you. That's why, ladies, it's so important to constantly have that intimacy with the

1061
01:06:46.960 --> 01:06:52.240
Lord and having him lead and direct you. Because here's the thing, as coaches, we can give

1062
01:06:52.240 --> 01:06:56.880
you advice. We can, you know, Holy Spirit can speak through us. But at the end of the

1063
01:06:56.880 --> 01:07:03.920
day, you all have the ability to listen and hear from God. And it's important to keep

1064
01:07:03.920 --> 01:07:09.840
that relationship solid and oppressed into that. Now, God can use us coaches. He can

1065
01:07:09.840 --> 01:07:16.000
use the women in this community to speak into that. But it's important to, again, just to

1066
01:07:16.000 --> 01:07:25.040
continue to seek him as you navigate what we encourage you to do here. Okay. But I think

1067
01:07:25.040 --> 01:07:28.800
you're doing great, Jill. This is what your second week. Yeah.

1068
01:07:31.440 --> 01:07:35.280
So keep praying. Cause I feel like I'm supposed to go to Southern California.

1069
01:07:36.080 --> 01:07:41.920
So crazy. I lived there before. Don't know how I'm going to get back. So if you think of me,

1070
01:07:42.640 --> 01:07:48.880
I see familiar faces from phase one. So I'll be praying. I know at least one of these girls

1071
01:07:48.880 --> 01:07:55.040
is looking to relocate as well. So, yes, absolutely. And I will even say there's,

1072
01:07:55.040 --> 01:07:58.880
you know, some of you don't want to relocate, but God's going to relocate you.

1073
01:08:00.000 --> 01:08:04.560
That was my story. Cause I'm going to say it cause you did it to me. You might be able to do

1074
01:08:04.560 --> 01:08:12.080
that to you too. I was so, you can ask, y'all ask Jackie. I was like headstrong about staying

1075
01:08:12.080 --> 01:08:17.520
in Florida. And early on, she felt the Lord told her I wasn't going to stay in Florida,

1076
01:08:17.520 --> 01:08:22.720
but she didn't press the issue with me. She allowed God to move in my heart.

1077
01:08:23.680 --> 01:08:27.680
You know, she would put things out there here and there, but you know,

1078
01:08:28.640 --> 01:08:36.720
it was, it was an act of God. It was a miracle that I got out of Florida. I, you know, my husband

1079
01:08:36.720 --> 01:08:44.319
was in Texas. So yeah, good, good, good stuff. All right, Holly, I'm so glad you got back. I,

1080
01:08:44.319 --> 01:08:49.920
first I thought I lost you and I was like, Oh no, I didn't get to your question. So what, what's,

1081
01:08:50.800 --> 01:09:00.080
what's going on? Talk to us. Can y'all hear me? Yes. Okay. I'm at work. I'm a teacher and I live

1082
01:09:00.080 --> 01:09:06.880
in Chattanooga. I'm actually on signal mountain. Jill. So we need to get together sometime.

1083
01:09:08.960 --> 01:09:14.720
So I had posted something, just asking for encouragement and prayer in the chat

1084
01:09:14.720 --> 01:09:22.640
and the group tech and the group app. I don't have the warmest, best family situation. I've

1085
01:09:22.640 --> 01:09:28.080
been through a lot different types of abuse and trauma that I've worked through in counseling.

1086
01:09:28.080 --> 01:09:38.720
And this, the holidays can be lonely, especially when you have a family that's not very, doesn't

1087
01:09:38.720 --> 01:09:45.520
know how to show unconditional love. I was almost estranged by my family four years ago, almost

1088
01:09:45.520 --> 01:09:51.040
disowned by my family four years ago. I was estranged because of coming forward about some

1089
01:09:51.040 --> 01:09:57.520
abuse and family counseling. And yeah, so I'm just kind of rebuilding my friendship network,

1090
01:09:57.520 --> 01:09:59.760
just praying for more Christian female friends.

1091
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.880
are like-minded. I'm an artist. I'm real involved in the arts and so I've had a lot of

1092
01:10:05.840 --> 01:10:13.520
not like-minded, like-minded spiritual friends and anyway, so I've, I don't know, God's been

1093
01:10:13.520 --> 01:10:20.000
moving and answering prayers. I've, I'm doing some seasonal work as teaching drama for elementary

1094
01:10:20.000 --> 01:10:27.040
kids over the break and just got hired to be a sitter for a woman during Christmas week in the

1095
01:10:27.040 --> 01:10:35.760
mornings and then, sorry, those are our school announcements. Oh, you're good. I'm so sorry.

1096
01:10:35.760 --> 01:10:40.400
You're going to have to sit through Hicks and High's school announcements. I was a school

1097
01:10:40.400 --> 01:10:45.600
teacher for a number of years, so I totally get it. Yeah, and then today, I'm also involved in

1098
01:10:45.600 --> 01:10:52.880
film acting. I just joined the Nashville Filmmakers Guild because I was in a Christmas movie that

1099
01:10:52.880 --> 01:10:57.840
comes out in December with Great American Family. I was featured background and really was drawn to

1100
01:10:57.840 --> 01:11:03.360
the people of Nashville and there's a lot of Christian artists moving there and yeah, and

1101
01:11:03.360 --> 01:11:11.840
then I found this film work, this film weekend conference in January that I want to go to. A lot

1102
01:11:11.840 --> 01:11:17.280
of Christians are speaking at it involved with The Chosen and The Best Christmas Pageant Ever and

1103
01:11:17.600 --> 01:11:23.520
I feel like God is just like giving me a vision beyond Chattanooga because Chattanooga is a hard

1104
01:11:23.520 --> 01:11:30.240
place to date. It is a hard place to be almost 48 with no children of your own and not be in

1105
01:11:30.240 --> 01:11:36.400
those kind of circles in terms of churches and community and so I feel like he's just like

1106
01:11:36.400 --> 01:11:43.760
wanting me to open up and look beyond the city and who knows, I might meet some Christian

1107
01:11:43.760 --> 01:11:49.200
filmmaker guys at this conference and with the Nashville Filmmakers Guild, so

1108
01:11:50.960 --> 01:12:00.480
realizing I need to be more open and just trust that he's gonna provide family for me because I

1109
01:12:00.480 --> 01:12:06.160
know he says the lonely and family but at Thanksgiving, no one spoke to me at the dinner

1110
01:12:06.160 --> 01:12:13.040
table except for my two nieces and so they just kind of like go through the motions with me. It's

1111
01:12:13.040 --> 01:12:19.760
very duty oriented and it was that way at my father's birthday party, no one spoke to me for

1112
01:12:19.760 --> 01:12:24.800
three hours. It was just a lot of small talk and I was basically just there for pictures for

1113
01:12:24.800 --> 01:12:32.800
Facebook. Yeah, I remember seeing your post and sharing with you. I'm so thankful that you came

1114
01:12:33.520 --> 01:12:40.240
to live. Yeah, this is my planning time so I'm gonna make like I put it in my calendar to like

1115
01:12:40.880 --> 01:12:44.480
schedule to come to this on Tuesdays at one because this is what I don't have.

1116
01:12:46.480 --> 01:12:52.800
I love that. So yeah, I think it's good and it looks and honestly to me, you know, you're talking

1117
01:12:52.800 --> 01:12:57.760
and you know, you were sharing about wanting to make connection and Jill was sharing the same

1118
01:12:57.760 --> 01:13:04.800
thing and look, look how God is moving. The two of you are in like the same area. I know.

1119
01:13:04.800 --> 01:13:11.120
How God is that ladies? Like let that be an encouragement, you know, and Holly, I think this

1120
01:13:11.120 --> 01:13:18.800
is so therapeutic for you because you know, I know you shared in detail just some of the

1121
01:13:20.240 --> 01:13:27.440
background in your past and your family and yeah, it can be hard. It can be hard when we come from

1122
01:13:27.440 --> 01:13:34.240
backgrounds like that and I just want to again, I just want to continue to encourage you to not

1123
01:13:34.240 --> 01:13:42.000
align and partner with the hard and not to and I think I shared this on the post of his Jackie

1124
01:13:42.000 --> 01:13:48.160
oftentimes has brought up this analogy before and it's always spoke to me not just in regards to my

1125
01:13:48.160 --> 01:13:58.000
family but people in general is that we can sit next to a glass of poison and we don't get poison

1126
01:13:58.000 --> 01:14:03.760
unless we choose to pick it up and drink it and I and I just again like I just felt that and I know

1127
01:14:03.760 --> 01:14:10.640
I shared that with you of you know, it's we can sit here and align with the you know, this is how

1128
01:14:10.640 --> 01:14:16.240
people treat me and this is the hardness and no one you know, they're they're just doing this to

1129
01:14:16.240 --> 01:14:23.680
you know, look pretty on Facebook, but we don't want to align with that and start just

1130
01:14:24.160 --> 01:14:28.560
constantly partnering with that like we can recognize it. I think it's important. Yeah,

1131
01:14:28.560 --> 01:14:34.800
I don't feel like I partner with it. I agree for what it is and I see it for what it is

1132
01:14:35.840 --> 01:14:43.840
and you know, just practice that I grieve that loss of where my family is and how broken it is

1133
01:14:44.880 --> 01:14:50.000
and this is where heart work will be good for you. I think going back to your heart workbook

1134
01:14:50.000 --> 01:14:57.120
and asking the Lord to reveal things to you in that in in what those memories are and how and

1135
01:14:57.120 --> 01:14:59.840
again practicing forgiveness through it and I know

1136
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.840
Sometimes that's so hard when people just really hurt us,

1137
01:15:03.840 --> 01:15:07.200
but practicing that, but then also having the faith

1138
01:15:07.200 --> 01:15:08.920
and the dream and the prayer

1139
01:15:08.920 --> 01:15:12.800
that God is going to reconcile family for you.

1140
01:15:12.800 --> 01:15:13.920
Yeah.

1141
01:15:13.920 --> 01:15:16.480
I believe in the wills that may.

1142
01:15:17.560 --> 01:15:21.640
And he's gonna bring your family and your marriage.

1143
01:15:21.640 --> 01:15:23.240
Yeah, I really believe that.

1144
01:15:23.240 --> 01:15:27.440
I mean, my family's that I can pray for them,

1145
01:15:27.440 --> 01:15:29.560
but they have free will, you know,

1146
01:15:30.560 --> 01:15:33.360
I can't make decisions for them.

1147
01:15:33.360 --> 01:15:37.000
I can't change the way they view me.

1148
01:15:37.000 --> 01:15:38.880
I do have a good counselor.

1149
01:15:38.880 --> 01:15:40.680
I've been in counseling my whole life

1150
01:15:40.680 --> 01:15:43.080
and have healthy boundaries,

1151
01:15:44.240 --> 01:15:47.000
but my mom struggles with narcissism

1152
01:15:47.000 --> 01:15:49.400
and verbal and emotional abuse

1153
01:15:49.400 --> 01:15:52.120
and is not an empathetic person.

1154
01:15:52.120 --> 01:15:55.400
So I've learned she's not a good person

1155
01:15:55.400 --> 01:16:00.400
to look for for comfort and for validation

1156
01:16:01.600 --> 01:16:03.680
because she's been through a lot herself.

1157
01:16:04.680 --> 01:16:05.600
Yeah.

1158
01:16:05.600 --> 01:16:07.440
Well, I love that you just, you brought that up.

1159
01:16:07.440 --> 01:16:09.880
Like you, you're recognizing your mom.

1160
01:16:09.880 --> 01:16:12.600
And so you kind of know the boundaries

1161
01:16:12.600 --> 01:16:15.160
that you need to hold for yourself with your mom.

1162
01:16:15.160 --> 01:16:17.080
But then this last piece that you just shared

1163
01:16:17.080 --> 01:16:22.080
that resonates with me is you recognize possibly the why

1164
01:16:23.080 --> 01:16:25.440
because maybe she's been through some of that.

1165
01:16:25.440 --> 01:16:28.880
And that was something when I was in this community,

1166
01:16:28.880 --> 01:16:32.120
I worked through as well with people in my past

1167
01:16:32.120 --> 01:16:34.560
that were hurtful to me,

1168
01:16:34.560 --> 01:16:37.520
that God walked me through this heart work

1169
01:16:37.520 --> 01:16:39.400
to, you know, practice forgiveness.

1170
01:16:39.400 --> 01:16:43.440
And he brought me to a place of compassion

1171
01:16:44.680 --> 01:16:46.200
with some of these people.

1172
01:16:46.200 --> 01:16:51.200
And I mean, again, it's recognizing that's,

1173
01:16:52.120 --> 01:16:53.600
that's where they're at.

1174
01:16:53.600 --> 01:16:56.000
It has nothing to do with me individually.

1175
01:16:56.000 --> 01:16:57.600
It's just where they're at.

1176
01:16:57.600 --> 01:16:59.800
And I can still keep healthy boundaries.

1177
01:16:59.800 --> 01:17:01.880
Like you can still keep healthy boundaries,

1178
01:17:01.880 --> 01:17:05.720
but just recognizing that your mom

1179
01:17:05.720 --> 01:17:08.000
maybe went through some stuff.

1180
01:17:08.000 --> 01:17:08.920
Oh, she did.

1181
01:17:08.920 --> 01:17:10.720
My aunt has shared about her dad.

1182
01:17:10.720 --> 01:17:12.240
And just recognizing, you know what,

1183
01:17:12.240 --> 01:17:15.880
she may never choose to work on it or whatever,

1184
01:17:15.880 --> 01:17:18.560
but you just, you can recognize it.

1185
01:17:18.560 --> 01:17:20.800
And again, like I was reminded,

1186
01:17:20.800 --> 01:17:24.640
because I had a situation that happened to me in my past

1187
01:17:24.640 --> 01:17:28.400
where I was, I had a lot of anger and bitterness

1188
01:17:28.400 --> 01:17:30.760
and just frustration.

1189
01:17:30.760 --> 01:17:32.560
And it was somebody that I actually

1190
01:17:32.560 --> 01:17:34.880
had to have a relationship with.

1191
01:17:34.880 --> 01:17:36.880
I couldn't avoid them,

1192
01:17:36.880 --> 01:17:39.560
but I had to learn how to practice healthy boundaries.

1193
01:17:39.560 --> 01:17:42.240
And in that season and walking through the heart work

1194
01:17:42.240 --> 01:17:45.040
early on when I joined this community,

1195
01:17:45.040 --> 01:17:50.040
God gave me a sense of just awareness and having compassion

1196
01:17:50.080 --> 01:17:52.280
because Jesus has compassion.

1197
01:17:52.280 --> 01:17:53.120
And I remember being like,

1198
01:17:53.120 --> 01:17:54.920
but I don't want to have compassion for this person.

1199
01:17:54.920 --> 01:17:55.760
They hurt me.

1200
01:17:56.760 --> 01:17:59.000
But it was a different compassion.

1201
01:17:59.000 --> 01:18:01.080
It was an awareness and a learning.

1202
01:18:01.080 --> 01:18:05.880
And it helped me not stay stuck in the negative

1203
01:18:05.880 --> 01:18:10.880
and the poor is me, woe is me, that sort of sense.

1204
01:18:11.720 --> 01:18:15.040
Because that sometimes can creep in too.

1205
01:18:15.040 --> 01:18:16.600
Because the enemy will want to use.

1206
01:18:16.600 --> 01:18:19.680
I was definitely feeling sorry for myself this weekend

1207
01:18:20.320 --> 01:18:23.120
just because that was who I mainly spent,

1208
01:18:23.120 --> 01:18:25.520
I pretty much spent time with, was with family.

1209
01:18:25.520 --> 01:18:28.440
With family, that's not been nice to you, right?

1210
01:18:28.440 --> 01:18:31.960
Yeah, and they kind of pretty much ignored me.

1211
01:18:31.960 --> 01:18:34.000
And that happened at my birthday last year.

1212
01:18:34.000 --> 01:18:36.720
So I'm not, I'm choosing not to celebrate

1213
01:18:36.720 --> 01:18:38.520
with my family this year.

1214
01:18:38.520 --> 01:18:41.800
Yeah, so see, you're learning these tools of,

1215
01:18:41.800 --> 01:18:44.320
okay, like I don't like how I'm feeling here.

1216
01:18:44.320 --> 01:18:45.960
You're recognizing it and saying,

1217
01:18:45.960 --> 01:18:49.160
okay, next year, I'm not going to do that.

1218
01:18:49.160 --> 01:18:51.440
I'm going to make it a joyful experience.

1219
01:18:51.440 --> 01:18:53.600
So you're on the right path.

1220
01:18:53.600 --> 01:18:57.720
And I just, again, like I just applaud you

1221
01:18:57.720 --> 01:19:01.400
and I'm thankful to you that you're coming to the community

1222
01:19:01.400 --> 01:19:04.960
and sharing this stuff because it can be vulnerable

1223
01:19:05.920 --> 01:19:06.920
in the group sometimes,

1224
01:19:06.920 --> 01:19:08.240
especially when we don't know people.

1225
01:19:08.240 --> 01:19:09.920
And I just, again, I want to applaud you

1226
01:19:09.920 --> 01:19:12.480
and thank you for coming and sharing this.

1227
01:19:12.480 --> 01:19:16.280
And I want it to encourage you

1228
01:19:16.280 --> 01:19:19.400
that you have community here.

1229
01:19:19.400 --> 01:19:21.640
You have people loving and caring about you here

1230
01:19:21.640 --> 01:19:23.680
and are praying for you.

1231
01:19:23.680 --> 01:19:26.720
Yes, I need more sisters in Christ in my life.

1232
01:19:26.720 --> 01:19:29.560
I've been kind of isolated the past four years

1233
01:19:29.560 --> 01:19:33.160
from close friendships with sisters.

1234
01:19:33.160 --> 01:19:37.480
I've been friends with people who aren't believers

1235
01:19:37.480 --> 01:19:40.520
or just kind of more progressive than me.

1236
01:19:40.520 --> 01:19:42.200
And now you have this community here

1237
01:19:42.200 --> 01:19:44.760
where you're going to start making connection here.

1238
01:19:44.760 --> 01:19:47.840
I'm telling you, this community

1239
01:19:47.840 --> 01:19:49.480
didn't just bring me my husband,

1240
01:19:49.480 --> 01:19:51.720
like my husband was the bonus piece, all right?

1241
01:19:51.720 --> 01:19:55.040
That was just, but there was so much more

1242
01:19:55.040 --> 01:19:57.800
that I got by being in this community

1243
01:19:57.800 --> 01:20:00.080
that I can't even emphasize.

1244
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:06.800
enough to you ladies just what a blessing this community is when we show up and we you know

1245
01:20:07.520 --> 01:20:14.720
show up share life and walk through and do the things that us coaches share with you because

1246
01:20:14.720 --> 01:20:21.680
I'm telling you I did it I got so many great friendships from it I got a deeper intimacy

1247
01:20:21.680 --> 01:20:28.800
with the Lord that I never I never thought I needed but there was just constant upgrades

1248
01:20:28.800 --> 01:20:35.440
constant growth and it's just going to continue and so ladies I love like Holly again thank you

1249
01:20:35.440 --> 01:20:41.040
for sharing because I think you the the women need to hear that that you know this isn't just

1250
01:20:41.040 --> 01:20:46.560
about finding the husband this isn't just a hey is Jackie going to introduce me to somebody or

1251
01:20:46.560 --> 01:20:51.760
is there a a match for me when are we going to have like you know how when when do I get in

1252
01:20:51.760 --> 01:20:56.880
front of the men here in this community it's so much more there's so many different opportunities

1253
01:20:57.840 --> 01:21:04.880
so Holly I'm going to jump over to Mariska's question because we are coming up on almost

1254
01:21:04.880 --> 01:21:10.320
an hour and a half and I want to be mindful of all you all of your time and I know Mariska had

1255
01:21:10.320 --> 01:21:19.200
a question of when we talk to several guys at the time frame how many guys at the same time is it

1256
01:21:19.200 --> 01:21:26.640
okay to talk to this is a good question so I always say so each of you are going to be

1257
01:21:26.640 --> 01:21:35.440
different okay some of you are going to find that maybe two or three is all you have the capacity

1258
01:21:35.440 --> 01:21:41.760
for I would say generally that's more ideal two to three guys at one time because they're going

1259
01:21:41.760 --> 01:21:47.120
to just kind of ebb and flow excuse me and it's gonna there's going to be seasons of where it's

1260
01:21:47.120 --> 01:21:51.680
like oh it's raining men and then it's like okay there's a drought here okay there's an ebb and

1261
01:21:51.680 --> 01:21:59.520
flow of it so I always say you know a couple at a time is totally fine it just depends some of you

1262
01:22:00.240 --> 01:22:06.320
may be able to handle four or five guys at one time I personally could not do that I was also

1263
01:22:06.320 --> 01:22:13.040
a single mom as well so it mean my life didn't you know lend it to that some of you have busier

1264
01:22:13.040 --> 01:22:18.400
lives some of you have jobs that are more time-consuming some of you may or may not have

1265
01:22:18.400 --> 01:22:23.680
children so it's going to look different but I say a good rule of thumb is you know two or three at

1266
01:22:23.680 --> 01:22:28.240
a time and again you could hope that you're having two or three at a time but maybe there's just one

1267
01:22:28.240 --> 01:22:33.680
guy right now but you're not in a level three you're just in that level two getting to know

1268
01:22:33.680 --> 01:22:40.000
but you're still on the app you're still community or if you're on the apps you're still going to

1269
01:22:40.800 --> 01:22:45.120
you know be out and open to meeting people and conversing like you're going to still swipe

1270
01:22:45.120 --> 01:22:50.160
you're going to still reach out when guys message you or you know maybe you're not on the apps but

1271
01:22:50.160 --> 01:22:54.960
maybe you've got you know you're out in community you're an active in an activity group and you're

1272
01:22:54.960 --> 01:22:59.760
just gen you're just continuing to meet people you're sharing with your friends that you're

1273
01:22:59.760 --> 01:23:05.760
open to meeting so you may be dating or getting to know one or two guys and a friend's like hey

1274
01:23:06.400 --> 01:23:13.520
I have this person or you're at an event or at a concert or maybe you're at a singles event with

1275
01:23:13.520 --> 01:23:18.080
your church or maybe you're just on the greeting committee at church and you happen to meet

1276
01:23:18.080 --> 01:23:24.880
somebody you never know I would say two to three people but again it's it's not always going to be

1277
01:23:24.880 --> 01:23:32.800
a set number you kind of have to leave that to the lord sort of thing and I know sometimes you

1278
01:23:32.800 --> 01:23:38.640
can be dating two or three and one you're like really interested in and then there was one maybe

1279
01:23:38.640 --> 01:23:43.360
you're not so interested in and all of a sudden you spend time with both of them where the guy

1280
01:23:43.360 --> 01:23:48.400
that you were super interested at first you start realizing like maybe we're not compatible like

1281
01:23:48.400 --> 01:23:53.120
maybe this isn't going to work and the person that maybe you would have probably axed right away

1282
01:23:54.160 --> 01:23:59.680
starts growing on you and you start realizing hey this is someone I really enjoy getting to know

1283
01:24:00.400 --> 01:24:05.920
I know I think that happened with Bethany when she met Brian she was actually talking to a couple

1284
01:24:05.920 --> 01:24:11.440
people at one time and she liked Brian he was the nice guy but she didn't think he was a top

1285
01:24:11.440 --> 01:24:16.800
contender she thought another guy was and then as she kind of got to know this guy she realized

1286
01:24:16.800 --> 01:24:22.880
her destiny DNA wasn't aligned with him you know Bethany has a calling on her life to ministry

1287
01:24:22.880 --> 01:24:27.440
that's just been at her part of her destiny DNA and she knew it was important for her to have

1288
01:24:27.440 --> 01:24:33.280
someone that was going to have a matching destiny DNA that was called to ministry and while at first

1289
01:24:33.280 --> 01:24:38.240
Brian wasn't something that she thought was a top contender she learned more and more that he had

1290
01:24:38.960 --> 01:24:44.800
this minute he was a minute he was a pastor and so and she started learning more about him and

1291
01:24:44.800 --> 01:24:49.520
he started rising to the top and it was very evident that that was it so that's why we

1292
01:24:49.520 --> 01:24:56.320
again we share with you ladies it's a yes until to know we remove the romance in level two we're

1293
01:24:56.320 --> 01:24:59.840
getting to know several people at one time okay two to three

1294
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:06.080
If more if you have the capacity to do so and again, we're not looking at you know

1295
01:25:06.080 --> 01:25:08.080
is this my husband but a

1296
01:25:08.120 --> 01:25:13.940
How does God want to use the season of life that I'm in to grow me into the bride that I know

1297
01:25:14.600 --> 01:25:19.640
He's called me to be but let's be open to what that season looks like

1298
01:25:20.280 --> 01:25:22.280
cool

1299
01:25:22.920 --> 01:25:26.000
Just make sure I did not speak with my family

1300
01:25:26.000 --> 01:25:32.360
Okay, so Mariska sharing that she didn't speak with her family for over 10 years and after her heart was healed God

1301
01:25:32.880 --> 01:25:39.720
Reconnected me with them and it's amazing how I can speak with the same people now and no pain is there but love and compassion

1302
01:25:40.440 --> 01:25:44.640
It was a blessing to say happy 87th birthday to my dad healing is real

1303
01:25:44.640 --> 01:25:50.840
I cannot thank you enough for this ministry and Jackie. That's exactly what I was sharing Mariska

1304
01:25:50.840 --> 01:25:53.920
I don't think Holly's on now, but maybe she'll catch this in replay

1305
01:25:54.160 --> 01:25:59.280
But that's and and new ladies that are here listening in and are watching and replay as well

1306
01:25:59.280 --> 01:26:02.720
I think that's so important this program is

1307
01:26:03.520 --> 01:26:04.760
first

1308
01:26:04.760 --> 01:26:06.760
about heart work

1309
01:26:07.760 --> 01:26:09.600
It's first about heart work

1310
01:26:09.600 --> 01:26:15.060
And I know a lot of us come in because we just want the husband because we think that's gonna just make our life

1311
01:26:15.440 --> 01:26:19.920
Better than what it is now. I'm not saying it won't because marriage is a gift

1312
01:26:20.440 --> 01:26:22.840
you know, there's gonna be blessings that come from it, but

1313
01:26:23.920 --> 01:26:25.920
There's so much more

1314
01:26:26.080 --> 01:26:31.080
There's a heart work process. There's other things that God wants to grow in us and

1315
01:26:32.000 --> 01:26:34.000
refine

1316
01:26:34.400 --> 01:26:40.160
And if we focus on what God is doing and can do and what he has done again those

1317
01:26:40.520 --> 01:26:44.880
Activations what has God done in your life in the past?

1318
01:26:45.840 --> 01:26:53.440
What blessings has he brought? What what did you I love that saying and my sister-in-law has this in her bathroom is I

1319
01:26:54.320 --> 01:26:55.960
remember

1320
01:26:55.960 --> 01:26:59.600
The time that I prayed for the things that I have now

1321
01:27:02.840 --> 01:27:08.760
What did you use to pray for that you didn't have them but God brought that to you now and

1322
01:27:09.800 --> 01:27:12.360
let's share that in the app this week and

1323
01:27:14.280 --> 01:27:17.500
Focus on if he did it then he can do it now

1324
01:27:18.200 --> 01:27:20.200
He's gonna bring me that promise

1325
01:27:20.600 --> 01:27:23.680
I'm gonna activate my faith. I'm gonna go buy a

1326
01:27:24.600 --> 01:27:28.120
Christmas present for my future husband, even though I don't know who that is

1327
01:27:29.120 --> 01:27:31.120
and I'm gonna be

1328
01:27:31.160 --> 01:27:37.400
Reminded that God is faithful and he is good and he's working on me now

1329
01:27:39.000 --> 01:27:41.440
Because he knows the season I'm going into

1330
01:27:42.360 --> 01:27:46.400
He knows ladies. He knows what who your husband is

1331
01:27:46.640 --> 01:27:53.320
He could he knows the areas that you and your husband are gonna help refine and an iron sharpen

1332
01:27:53.600 --> 01:27:55.760
sharpens iron he's he knows

1333
01:27:56.640 --> 01:27:59.400
What stuff is gonna be refined in that marriage?

1334
01:27:59.400 --> 01:28:00.560
He's gonna know

1335
01:28:00.560 --> 01:28:06.720
What what that looks like and he's gonna work on you now so that when you step into that season you're prepared

1336
01:28:08.920 --> 01:28:14.880
Ladies I cannot tell you I had no clue what marriage was gonna look like for me

1337
01:28:15.840 --> 01:28:17.840
It's not what I'm in now

1338
01:28:17.840 --> 01:28:22.040
I mean if I could have thought what marriage was gonna look like before I met my husband

1339
01:28:22.600 --> 01:28:24.720
It wouldn't be what I'm going through now

1340
01:28:25.480 --> 01:28:31.440
And I say that I'm not saying that as a negative way. I'm saying it as a just God knows. I

1341
01:28:33.480 --> 01:28:40.200
Mean y'all I've shared this before I have three children. I have two bonus children who are teenagers

1342
01:28:41.160 --> 01:28:45.920
And who I was not prepared for teenage years, I don't feel like I was prepared for teenage years

1343
01:28:45.920 --> 01:28:47.960
But you know what God knew I could do it

1344
01:28:47.960 --> 01:28:53.200
Okay, you wouldn't give me the assignment if you didn't know that I couldn't do it with his partnership. I

1345
01:28:53.920 --> 01:28:55.920
Will tell you I can't do it on my own

1346
01:28:56.920 --> 01:29:00.960
None of us can do anything on our own. We have to partner with God

1347
01:29:01.840 --> 01:29:04.480
All right. I don't ever like that saying is

1348
01:29:05.040 --> 01:29:08.960
Come I always hear the saying God doesn't give us more than we can handle

1349
01:29:10.200 --> 01:29:14.000
and I get the whole like purpose of it, but honestly

1350
01:29:14.520 --> 01:29:19.440
God does give us more than we can then we ourselves can handle because

1351
01:29:21.320 --> 01:29:24.920
We are supposed to partner with him we're not supposed to handle it all by ourselves

1352
01:29:25.440 --> 01:29:30.000
We're supposed to partner with him. Okay. So again, I had no idea what

1353
01:29:30.800 --> 01:29:33.640
Teenage life was gonna be like and I was a teenager

1354
01:29:34.160 --> 01:29:39.920
All right, but I also have two two kids two teen teens, you know bonus children

1355
01:29:39.920 --> 01:29:41.360
that

1356
01:29:41.360 --> 01:29:43.120
went through a

1357
01:29:43.120 --> 01:29:45.120
lot of trauma a

1358
01:29:46.040 --> 01:29:51.960
Lot I have my own birth baby my my biological son

1359
01:29:53.480 --> 01:29:56.680
I'm seeing the trauma that was created in his life

1360
01:29:58.040 --> 01:30:00.040
with

1361
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:04.200
and Rebecca I saw your hand I'm gonna get to you if you can just hang tight

1362
01:30:04.200 --> 01:30:10.400
for just a minute my birth son my biological baby and I'm seeing the

1363
01:30:10.400 --> 01:30:15.600
trauma that he's experiencing and what he's walking through and having a

1364
01:30:15.600 --> 01:30:23.400
biological father that isn't present all the time you know there's trauma there

1365
01:30:23.400 --> 01:30:28.680
and I'm like oh my goodness I would have never thought this season you know and I

1366
01:30:28.680 --> 01:30:32.640
would love to say yeah I'm married and it's just you know rainbows and

1367
01:30:32.640 --> 01:30:41.040
butterflies but we you know God's doing a refining he's doing you know it's he's

1368
01:30:41.040 --> 01:30:46.160
he's using our lives to show his goodness because I believe that God

1369
01:30:46.160 --> 01:30:54.360
wants to heal and reconcile and redeem the hurt the trauma the all of that

1370
01:30:54.360 --> 01:30:59.040
stuff that I've experienced that my husband experienced that my kids have

1371
01:30:59.040 --> 01:31:07.320
experienced and he's working it through us okay so I hope that gives you all

1372
01:31:07.320 --> 01:31:12.960
some perspective Rebecca I want to make sure I give you time do you have

1373
01:31:12.960 --> 01:31:18.400
something that you want to share with us sorry I I didn't want to put what you

1374
01:31:18.400 --> 01:31:22.080
were saying short I apologize I just oh you're good you're good you know it's

1375
01:31:22.240 --> 01:31:27.280
easy you always can leave your hands up okay cuz I know you I know you were

1376
01:31:27.280 --> 01:31:30.760
concerned about the time it's being extended so I just thought maybe I would

1377
01:31:30.760 --> 01:31:35.160
ask the question in the app so no you can ask it here I'm gonna stay on for

1378
01:31:35.160 --> 01:31:39.120
you I always stay on for you ladies now if any of you can't stay on you always

1379
01:31:39.120 --> 01:31:43.280
are more than welcome to jump off we always have this replay but I'm always

1380
01:31:43.280 --> 01:31:52.240
here my my my blessing is being here to be free be here for you ladies so what's

1381
01:31:52.240 --> 01:31:59.240
your question Rebecca so I I have gone on three video dates with one individual

1382
01:31:59.240 --> 01:32:06.400
and yeah I you know just kind of taking notes from the past trainings I know

1383
01:32:06.400 --> 01:32:11.520
that you know we shouldn't have like video dates too long you know try to

1384
01:32:11.520 --> 01:32:18.280
meet in person if you're somewhat local and I mean he's yeah he's probably about

1385
01:32:18.280 --> 01:32:24.920
an hour and a half from me distance wise yeah he you know the third video call

1386
01:32:24.920 --> 01:32:29.200
just he's trying to get some like demographics from me like my height and

1387
01:32:29.200 --> 01:32:33.280
things like he's like you know obviously as we're on video we're not really able

1388
01:32:33.280 --> 01:32:36.520
to see each other and I was just like well I'm open to meeting up you know if

1389
01:32:36.520 --> 01:32:40.160
that's if that's something that you would be open to doing you know I'd be

1390
01:32:40.160 --> 01:32:44.680
open to meeting you and he was a bit hesitant I think he's more reserved

1391
01:32:44.680 --> 01:32:50.800
which I'm fine with like I I don't mind I just you know as he brought that up I

1392
01:32:50.800 --> 01:32:55.160
was like well you know that is so yeah just I'm just wondering like it just

1393
01:32:55.160 --> 01:32:59.600
seems like you you almost have to kind of gauge where the person is that you

1394
01:32:59.600 --> 01:33:04.040
know obviously going at their level yes so we always talk about this

1395
01:33:04.040 --> 01:33:08.440
reciprocating so again if he's more reserved here's the thing you've done

1396
01:33:08.440 --> 01:33:14.640
your part mm-hmm you're you're jumping on video calls with him you're dropping

1397
01:33:14.640 --> 01:33:19.800
the hanky and letting him know hey I'd be open to meeting now you're putting it

1398
01:33:19.800 --> 01:33:25.960
in his court so remember this is again why we we encourage you ladies to be

1399
01:33:25.960 --> 01:33:30.120
getting to know a couple people you know just be open to dating and interacting

1400
01:33:30.120 --> 01:33:35.120
with more than one person because if he's not gonna pick it up and initiate

1401
01:33:35.120 --> 01:33:41.320
then through time like I would say you've you've had three video dates was

1402
01:33:41.320 --> 01:33:46.880
it this third date that you said hey I'd be open to meeting yeah especially when

1403
01:33:46.880 --> 01:33:50.440
he brought up the reality that we haven't actually seen each other in

1404
01:33:50.440 --> 01:33:55.800
person and he was asking me like how tall I was I told him my height yeah I

1405
01:33:55.800 --> 01:33:59.000
would say if you've thrown that out there so you you know you put it out

1406
01:33:59.000 --> 01:34:05.560
there hey we should meet I would wait let's see if he's going to reciprocate

1407
01:34:05.560 --> 01:34:09.280
and throw that out there and if you know that he actually did he did respond

1408
01:34:09.280 --> 01:34:15.680
sorry he he was just like yeah he that so he just pretty much said you know I

1409
01:34:15.680 --> 01:34:20.760
I'm just gonna I'm just gonna take the take time and determine when that's the

1410
01:34:20.760 --> 01:34:26.760
best time that for that to happen so like for me like it was I just felt like

1411
01:34:26.760 --> 01:34:34.400
I just felt like I was a bit too pushy but at the same time I yeah he opened

1412
01:34:34.400 --> 01:34:41.400
the door yeah yeah he opened the door for that so yeah I yeah I don't I don't

1413
01:34:41.400 --> 01:34:47.680
want to navigate now how to navigate now that that conversations happen okay I

1414
01:34:47.680 --> 01:34:53.040
get it he might be a little more reserved and is not sure about it that's

1415
01:34:53.040 --> 01:34:55.680
again I'm gonna encourage you to continue to keep getting to know other

1416
01:34:55.680 --> 01:35:00.360
people sure but here's the thing ladies

1417
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:03.220
If these guys don't want to meet you in person

1418
01:35:03.220 --> 01:35:08.220
and do real life with you, you can vocalize that.

1419
01:35:08.220 --> 01:35:12.560
So you can respect his boundary right now,

1420
01:35:13.480 --> 01:35:17.080
leave it open, continue to get to know him.

1421
01:35:17.080 --> 01:35:21.300
But again, if you notice he's not initiating

1422
01:35:21.300 --> 01:35:24.340
and wanting to actually meet you,

1423
01:35:24.820 --> 01:35:29.820
you can communicate, hey, I really appreciate

1424
01:35:31.540 --> 01:35:34.780
spending time on video and getting to know you.

1425
01:35:34.780 --> 01:35:37.300
I appreciate the time that you've given.

1426
01:35:38.380 --> 01:35:42.440
Where I'm at in my life is to meet people in real life

1427
01:35:42.440 --> 01:35:43.900
and to date in real life.

1428
01:35:43.900 --> 01:35:47.860
And so I understand that maybe you want to take it slower.

1429
01:35:47.860 --> 01:35:51.420
However, I'm going to,

1430
01:35:52.220 --> 01:35:54.500
I'm looking to date in real life.

1431
01:35:54.500 --> 01:35:55.980
And so if you don't think that's something

1432
01:35:55.980 --> 01:35:58.500
that you're able to do at this time,

1433
01:35:58.500 --> 01:36:00.540
I wish you the best of luck.

1434
01:36:00.540 --> 01:36:01.380
Wow.

1435
01:36:02.300 --> 01:36:05.220
Yeah, like I, I'm actually-

1436
01:36:05.220 --> 01:36:07.420
You're kind of like, well, what's the point?

1437
01:36:07.420 --> 01:36:10.500
Sure, I do, I respect that.

1438
01:36:10.500 --> 01:36:12.420
Like he, I want to obviously make sure

1439
01:36:12.420 --> 01:36:13.740
that he's comfortable.

1440
01:36:13.740 --> 01:36:15.620
Like I don't want to be the one,

1441
01:36:15.620 --> 01:36:18.380
be the driving force of the relationship

1442
01:36:18.420 --> 01:36:19.980
if he's not really, you know,

1443
01:36:19.980 --> 01:36:21.660
even trying to make an effort.

1444
01:36:21.660 --> 01:36:23.500
And I do see the effort he's making.

1445
01:36:25.140 --> 01:36:27.780
These men are, they're divine masculine.

1446
01:36:27.780 --> 01:36:28.740
That's what we're looking for.

1447
01:36:28.740 --> 01:36:30.720
We're looking for a divine masculine man.

1448
01:36:30.720 --> 01:36:34.140
And it doesn't mean that we can't want comfortability

1449
01:36:34.140 --> 01:36:38.340
for the, you know, the man and getting to know them.

1450
01:36:38.340 --> 01:36:40.100
And as a woman, you know,

1451
01:36:40.100 --> 01:36:42.540
you obviously want men to feel comfortable,

1452
01:36:42.540 --> 01:36:47.540
but it's the man's job to help us feel comfortable.

1453
01:36:49.260 --> 01:36:50.100
Sure.

1454
01:36:50.100 --> 01:36:50.940
All right.

1455
01:36:50.940 --> 01:36:53.900
He can step up and be the leader, the provider,

1456
01:36:53.900 --> 01:36:56.420
the protector, that's his identity.

1457
01:36:56.420 --> 01:36:58.100
So I understand where you're coming from.

1458
01:36:58.100 --> 01:36:59.420
Like you want him to be comfortable.

1459
01:36:59.420 --> 01:37:02.900
You want him to pace himself, but here's the thing.

1460
01:37:04.140 --> 01:37:06.380
He needs to decide whether or not

1461
01:37:06.380 --> 01:37:09.060
he really does want to date in real life.

1462
01:37:09.060 --> 01:37:11.780
Yeah, I have a, I have a sense that he might also,

1463
01:37:11.780 --> 01:37:14.500
because I am, I'm, I'm talking to a couple of people

1464
01:37:14.500 --> 01:37:17.660
as well, so at the same time,

1465
01:37:18.500 --> 01:37:20.740
and he might be doing the exact same thing.

1466
01:37:20.740 --> 01:37:24.060
So maybe he's just trying to, you know, make sure that he's.

1467
01:37:24.060 --> 01:37:25.780
Maybe you can keep the interaction light.

1468
01:37:25.780 --> 01:37:27.860
You can still continue to get to know them.

1469
01:37:27.860 --> 01:37:28.700
Absolutely.

1470
01:37:28.700 --> 01:37:29.940
Continue to get to know them.

1471
01:37:29.940 --> 01:37:32.220
And like I said, if you kind of see,

1472
01:37:32.220 --> 01:37:34.940
like it's not really picking up.

1473
01:37:34.940 --> 01:37:36.540
Progressing, yeah.

1474
01:37:36.540 --> 01:37:37.940
That's understandable.

1475
01:37:37.940 --> 01:37:40.780
Again, sit with Holy Spirit.

1476
01:37:40.780 --> 01:37:42.740
Ask, you know, what gives you peace?

1477
01:37:42.740 --> 01:37:46.780
Do you, you know, I would encourage ladies,

1478
01:37:46.780 --> 01:37:48.380
I don't want you all sitting

1479
01:37:48.380 --> 01:37:50.580
and just getting to know one person

1480
01:37:50.580 --> 01:37:53.500
in hopes that, oh, maybe they need more time.

1481
01:37:53.500 --> 01:37:57.060
Because obviously if God's leading you to do that 100%,

1482
01:37:57.060 --> 01:38:00.940
but I don't want you ladies getting stuck there either.

1483
01:38:00.940 --> 01:38:01.780
Sure.

1484
01:38:01.780 --> 01:38:04.740
Where you're just kind of, oh, I'm just going to sit here.

1485
01:38:04.740 --> 01:38:06.820
I want you to make sure that you're going out

1486
01:38:06.820 --> 01:38:08.780
and still interacting with other people.

1487
01:38:08.780 --> 01:38:09.900
And, and just, you know,

1488
01:38:09.900 --> 01:38:11.900
it doesn't mean that you have to cut people off right away.

1489
01:38:11.900 --> 01:38:13.580
You can be respectful of that.

1490
01:38:13.580 --> 01:38:16.820
But if you do, if you see that it's not moving.

1491
01:38:16.820 --> 01:38:18.500
Yeah, I have to do that.

1492
01:38:18.500 --> 01:38:19.340
Here's the thing.

1493
01:38:19.340 --> 01:38:20.340
You ladies are here to do that.

1494
01:38:20.340 --> 01:38:23.060
Like do real life dating.

1495
01:38:23.060 --> 01:38:24.220
You can't marry someone

1496
01:38:24.220 --> 01:38:27.660
that you don't spend time with in real life.

1497
01:38:27.660 --> 01:38:29.980
I mean, my husband and I were long distance.

1498
01:38:29.980 --> 01:38:30.900
Okay. I was in Florida.

1499
01:38:30.900 --> 01:38:32.500
He was in Texas.

1500
01:38:32.500 --> 01:38:35.380
We saw each other as frequently as we could.

1501
01:38:35.380 --> 01:38:36.540
I mean, I don't think,

1502
01:38:36.540 --> 01:38:40.340
I think the longest we went from being

1503
01:38:40.340 --> 01:38:43.300
in front of each other in person

1504
01:38:43.980 --> 01:38:45.300
was six weeks.

1505
01:38:45.300 --> 01:38:47.100
And that was only because something happened

1506
01:38:47.100 --> 01:38:49.460
and he had to push a trip back.

1507
01:38:49.460 --> 01:38:51.780
But we typically was at least seeing each other

1508
01:38:51.780 --> 01:38:53.140
once a month.

1509
01:38:53.140 --> 01:38:55.260
So we were doing life together,

1510
01:38:55.260 --> 01:38:56.620
even though we were long distance.

1511
01:38:56.620 --> 01:38:57.860
So that's another thing, ladies.

1512
01:38:57.860 --> 01:39:02.060
If you feel you are open to long distance,

1513
01:39:02.060 --> 01:39:04.900
it's important to know that you can still do life

1514
01:39:04.900 --> 01:39:07.260
with somebody long distance.

1515
01:39:07.260 --> 01:39:09.420
So like Rebecca, she's got this guy,

1516
01:39:09.420 --> 01:39:10.580
he's about an hour and a half away.

1517
01:39:10.580 --> 01:39:12.660
So it is a little more challenging

1518
01:39:12.660 --> 01:39:17.580
to get in front of that person in real life,

1519
01:39:17.580 --> 01:39:20.780
but there has to be effort being made

1520
01:39:20.780 --> 01:39:22.100
because that's the only way

1521
01:39:22.100 --> 01:39:24.780
that you truly do get to know somebody.

1522
01:39:24.780 --> 01:39:26.980
You need the face-to-face,

1523
01:39:26.980 --> 01:39:29.180
you need to hear inflection

1524
01:39:29.180 --> 01:39:32.500
and see facial expression and tone.

1525
01:39:32.500 --> 01:39:35.860
You need to be able to be in community,

1526
01:39:35.860 --> 01:39:38.820
whether you're seeing what their life is like

1527
01:39:38.900 --> 01:39:40.940
in their community where they're at,

1528
01:39:40.940 --> 01:39:42.780
and then them seeing what you're like

1529
01:39:42.780 --> 01:39:44.380
in your community where you're at.

1530
01:39:44.380 --> 01:39:46.100
It's very important.

1531
01:39:47.180 --> 01:39:51.300
Okay, we don't want the texting relationship to unfold

1532
01:39:51.300 --> 01:39:53.260
and then catching feelings with someone

1533
01:39:53.260 --> 01:39:55.380
that we can't be doing real life with,

1534
01:39:55.380 --> 01:39:56.540
if that makes sense.

1535
01:39:57.900 --> 01:39:59.340
Just another follow-up.

1536
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:04.320
And I have to end a communication with one guy.

1537
01:40:04.320 --> 01:40:07.280
Thank you for your response for the last question.

1538
01:40:08.440 --> 01:40:11.960
He just kind of, he loved the text,

1539
01:40:11.960 --> 01:40:15.440
which I was okay with, but then realizing like,

1540
01:40:15.440 --> 01:40:19.320
okay, this does need to progress beyond texting.

1541
01:40:19.320 --> 01:40:23.040
And he also was about an hour from me.

1542
01:40:23.040 --> 01:40:25.080
So we started doing phone calls

1543
01:40:25.120 --> 01:40:29.720
and that was pretty much all that we did

1544
01:40:29.720 --> 01:40:30.700
beyond the texting.

1545
01:40:30.700 --> 01:40:31.660
We just called each other.

1546
01:40:31.660 --> 01:40:36.400
I don't know if that would be considered,

1547
01:40:36.400 --> 01:40:40.360
I believe that the dating is more than just the phone calls.

1548
01:40:40.360 --> 01:40:42.000
Is that right, I believe?

1549
01:40:42.000 --> 01:40:43.240
Yeah, so we don't say,

1550
01:40:43.240 --> 01:40:46.320
so I would consider you're still in level one.

1551
01:40:46.320 --> 01:40:47.760
Level one, okay.

1552
01:40:47.760 --> 01:40:49.940
Until you have a video date

1553
01:40:49.940 --> 01:40:51.600
where you're in front of the person

1554
01:40:51.600 --> 01:40:54.240
and you know that they're actually who they say they are.

1555
01:40:54.720 --> 01:40:55.720
Yeah.

1556
01:40:55.720 --> 01:40:59.080
Then you're in a video or you're in real life.

1557
01:40:59.080 --> 01:41:01.240
That would be level two.

1558
01:41:01.240 --> 01:41:02.680
Okay, yeah.

1559
01:41:02.680 --> 01:41:04.120
He just, it didn't seem like he wanted

1560
01:41:04.120 --> 01:41:05.200
to progress beyond that.

1561
01:41:05.200 --> 01:41:08.320
And I wasn't really sure if we were compatible.

1562
01:41:08.320 --> 01:41:09.360
Yeah, and so that's what you say,

1563
01:41:09.360 --> 01:41:12.320
just say, hey, I'd love to take this off the texting

1564
01:41:12.320 --> 01:41:13.140
or a phone call.

1565
01:41:13.140 --> 01:41:14.760
Would you be open to doing a video chat?

1566
01:41:14.760 --> 01:41:16.120
A video chat, yeah.

1567
01:41:16.120 --> 01:41:19.040
And if they say, oh no, or they kind of like,

1568
01:41:19.040 --> 01:41:22.120
then again, that kind of gives you the answer.

1569
01:41:22.120 --> 01:41:26.560
I mean, we don't want you,

1570
01:41:26.560 --> 01:41:27.760
I mean, because here's again,

1571
01:41:27.760 --> 01:41:29.760
we don't want to do the whole wasting time, right?

1572
01:41:29.760 --> 01:41:31.860
But that's what I'm saying, we got to put,

1573
01:41:33.280 --> 01:41:35.080
we got to activate and make sure

1574
01:41:35.080 --> 01:41:38.320
that we're putting ourselves in the position

1575
01:41:38.320 --> 01:41:40.900
to get what the desired outcome is.

1576
01:41:40.900 --> 01:41:43.120
Like if you ladies want marriage

1577
01:41:43.120 --> 01:41:44.160
and you want relationship

1578
01:41:44.160 --> 01:41:45.920
and you want to do life with someone,

1579
01:41:45.920 --> 01:41:48.520
then you have to put yourself in proximity

1580
01:41:48.520 --> 01:41:53.520
to be in a person's life face-to-face, okay?

1581
01:41:54.160 --> 01:41:56.200
Understandable, thank you so much.

1582
01:41:56.200 --> 01:41:58.240
Oh, you're so welcome.

1583
01:41:58.240 --> 01:41:59.720
All right, so I'm going to answer

1584
01:41:59.720 --> 01:42:01.280
Summer's question real quick.

1585
01:42:01.280 --> 01:42:04.240
And then ladies, we are coming up on two hours,

1586
01:42:04.240 --> 01:42:05.360
so I'm going to let you all go,

1587
01:42:05.360 --> 01:42:06.960
but let's get to Summer's question first.

1588
01:42:06.960 --> 01:42:08.840
She says, if we are not keeping up

1589
01:42:08.840 --> 01:42:10.920
with the likes in the dating app,

1590
01:42:10.920 --> 01:42:12.800
so they are just sitting there for a while,

1591
01:42:12.800 --> 01:42:15.760
would you suggest putting our dating profiles

1592
01:42:15.760 --> 01:42:18.920
on a break from the app until we catch up on the likes?

1593
01:42:18.920 --> 01:42:20.720
No, I don't think you need to.

1594
01:42:20.720 --> 01:42:23.040
I mean, I can't tell you how oftentimes

1595
01:42:23.040 --> 01:42:25.800
like I was not paying attention to the likes

1596
01:42:25.800 --> 01:42:27.400
or all that stuff.

1597
01:42:27.400 --> 01:42:30.080
Sometimes my life got busy, I still kept it there

1598
01:42:30.080 --> 01:42:32.480
because if someone liked me,

1599
01:42:32.480 --> 01:42:36.480
then they'd jump into my DM or they would reach out

1600
01:42:36.480 --> 01:42:38.440
and then I was still having communication.

1601
01:42:38.440 --> 01:42:43.280
So I say, just leave it there because you never know.

1602
01:42:43.280 --> 01:42:44.440
I don't think it needs to be like,

1603
01:42:44.440 --> 01:42:47.640
I can't move on to this if I don't check the likes

1604
01:42:47.640 --> 01:42:49.440
and I can't move on if I didn't respond

1605
01:42:49.440 --> 01:42:52.120
to every single person that sent me a message.

1606
01:42:52.120 --> 01:42:53.560
Because here's the thing, ladies,

1607
01:42:53.560 --> 01:42:56.240
I can't tell you there were times

1608
01:42:56.240 --> 01:42:59.320
that I would have an inbox full of messages

1609
01:42:59.320 --> 01:43:01.320
and I didn't respond to all of them.

1610
01:43:02.240 --> 01:43:04.480
Not because I was trying to be rude,

1611
01:43:04.480 --> 01:43:06.240
it was just because my life got busy

1612
01:43:06.240 --> 01:43:09.600
and I just had to trust that God was going to push me

1613
01:43:09.600 --> 01:43:12.920
to respond to the people that I need to respond to.

1614
01:43:12.920 --> 01:43:14.760
I don't think I was being unkind

1615
01:43:14.760 --> 01:43:16.080
by not responding to people

1616
01:43:16.080 --> 01:43:19.000
because there were times that I would reach out to somebody

1617
01:43:19.000 --> 01:43:20.600
and they wouldn't respond to me

1618
01:43:20.600 --> 01:43:22.000
and I didn't take offense to that.

1619
01:43:22.000 --> 01:43:25.280
I was just like, okay, this person's busy

1620
01:43:25.280 --> 01:43:28.000
or maybe they didn't like my profile

1621
01:43:28.000 --> 01:43:30.160
or maybe it's not even a real person at all

1622
01:43:31.920 --> 01:43:33.880
and just moved on.

1623
01:43:33.880 --> 01:43:37.120
I trusted that God had me

1624
01:43:37.120 --> 01:43:40.480
and he was going to put the people in front of me

1625
01:43:40.480 --> 01:43:42.600
that I needed to be in front of.

1626
01:43:43.280 --> 01:43:44.360
And God was going to protect me

1627
01:43:44.360 --> 01:43:45.520
if I got put in front of people

1628
01:43:45.520 --> 01:43:48.320
that I wasn't supposed to be put in front of.

1629
01:43:48.320 --> 01:43:51.040
So just keep that in mind.

1630
01:43:51.040 --> 01:43:53.240
So hopefully that helps you, Summer.

1631
01:43:53.240 --> 01:43:54.680
I wouldn't say put it on pause

1632
01:43:54.680 --> 01:43:56.720
unless you feel like Holy Spirit is saying,

1633
01:43:56.720 --> 01:43:58.160
nope, I need you to put this on pause

1634
01:43:58.160 --> 01:44:00.760
because he wants you to work through something else.

1635
01:44:02.000 --> 01:44:03.280
All right, awesome.

1636
01:44:03.280 --> 01:44:06.120
Well, ladies, I am so thankful.

1637
01:44:06.120 --> 01:44:07.400
Oh, you're welcome, Summer.

1638
01:44:07.400 --> 01:44:09.720
I'm so thankful to always be here with you, ladies.

1639
01:44:09.720 --> 01:44:13.040
So I'm going to go ahead and pray us out

1640
01:44:13.040 --> 01:44:15.160
and then send you all on your way.

1641
01:44:15.160 --> 01:44:18.440
There's another call tonight with Ms. Ebony

1642
01:44:18.440 --> 01:44:21.280
at eight o'clock p.m. Eastern, okay?

1643
01:44:21.280 --> 01:44:23.840
So if you want to even jump on that one,

1644
01:44:23.840 --> 01:44:26.000
she always has great insight.

1645
01:44:27.360 --> 01:44:30.880
But again, don't forget about your activations this week.

1646
01:44:30.880 --> 01:44:32.880
I look forward to seeing those in the app

1647
01:44:32.880 --> 01:44:35.760
and just make sure that you're connecting with one another

1648
01:44:35.760 --> 01:44:37.760
and do life with each other, okay?

1649
01:44:37.800 --> 01:44:40.400
So Heavenly Father, I just thank you.

1650
01:44:40.400 --> 01:44:41.800
I thank you for your presence.

1651
01:44:41.800 --> 01:44:45.680
I thank you that we can come together in this community

1652
01:44:45.680 --> 01:44:47.800
and that you are just with us.

1653
01:44:47.800 --> 01:44:49.160
You're here to encourage us.

1654
01:44:49.160 --> 01:44:52.880
You're here to give us reminders that we are not alone.

1655
01:44:52.880 --> 01:44:55.040
We do not have to walk this alone,

1656
01:44:55.040 --> 01:44:56.440
that we are in this together

1657
01:44:56.440 --> 01:45:00.040
and you are bringing angels to walk side us.

1658
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:05.360
to do life with. I just thank you for that opportunity, Lord. And I just thank you for

1659
01:45:05.360 --> 01:45:10.960
the blessings of Jackie and David and this community and the words that you've released

1660
01:45:10.960 --> 01:45:17.920
to us. And I just pray that we just press into that, Heavenly Father, that we are reminded

1661
01:45:17.920 --> 01:45:23.200
that you are with us and you are for us. And I just thank you for that. And Heavenly Father,

1662
01:45:23.200 --> 01:45:27.440
I just pray that you are with each and every one of these women during this holiday season

1663
01:45:27.440 --> 01:45:36.640
and that you, you know, ignite in them a passion for what you're doing in their life. I pray that

1664
01:45:36.640 --> 01:45:41.360
they are reminded of the things that you have done and the things that you're continuing to do

1665
01:45:41.920 --> 01:45:48.560
as they look to you and they keep their focus on you and to not look back into the negative,

1666
01:45:48.560 --> 01:45:53.680
but just to focus on your goodness and your faithfulness. And I just,

1667
01:45:53.920 --> 01:46:00.560
again, I just pray for them in this season that they feel loved, seen and heard and cherished

1668
01:46:01.200 --> 01:46:09.840
by you and all those that are around them. So I thank you in your son's mighty name. Amen.

1669
01:46:10.720 --> 01:46:16.320
Ladies, it's always a pleasure. I will see you all next week and see you in the app. Okay. So

1670
01:46:16.320 --> 01:46:20.240
make sure that you're posting. All right. Let us know what's going on in your life.

1671
01:46:20.240 --> 01:46:23.520
All right. Take care. Thank you.