WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.520 It doesn't seem like Ryan's gonna be a long-term fit 2 00:00:02.520 --> 00:00:04.840 and we need to find a short-term exit strategy. 3 00:00:04.840 --> 00:00:06.200 And there I sit in my chair. 4 00:00:06.200 --> 00:00:07.760 I feel like I go to ground zero. 5 00:00:07.760 --> 00:00:11.520 We talk about being alert and oriented times five. 6 00:00:11.520 --> 00:00:13.040 And you've referenced this too. 7 00:00:13.040 --> 00:00:15.520 And I go to a zero and I'm kind of spun out. 8 00:00:15.520 --> 00:00:17.040 I'm going, oh my gosh, what is this? 9 00:00:17.040 --> 00:00:19.000 Why do I have access to this email? 10 00:00:19.000 --> 00:00:21.560 And why now? 11 00:00:21.560 --> 00:00:24.840 And my world's confused and I'm shocked and I'm disoriented 12 00:00:24.840 --> 00:00:26.480 and I don't know what's going on. 13 00:00:26.480 --> 00:00:35.320 So welcome to the Empower You podcast. 14 00:00:35.320 --> 00:00:38.680 And I have Pastor Ryan Steyer, 15 00:00:38.680 --> 00:00:42.880 who has been with me since the beginning of the Road Church, 16 00:00:42.880 --> 00:00:46.920 which is the church that we kind of together planted 17 00:00:46.920 --> 00:00:49.360 10 years ago here. 18 00:00:49.360 --> 00:00:51.920 We're in the studio here of the Road Church. 19 00:00:51.960 --> 00:00:56.800 And Ryan was a part of Mountain Springs Church, 20 00:00:56.800 --> 00:00:58.880 the church that I pastored before, 21 00:00:58.880 --> 00:01:01.120 but we didn't really know each other. 22 00:01:01.120 --> 00:01:05.519 But when I resigned from Mountain Springs, 23 00:01:05.519 --> 00:01:08.240 Ryan and his wife Mandy came along 24 00:01:08.240 --> 00:01:13.240 and probably been with us almost every day for 10 years. 25 00:01:14.240 --> 00:01:15.240 That's true. 26 00:01:15.240 --> 00:01:17.040 Even when you weren't on staff or anything, 27 00:01:17.040 --> 00:01:18.600 we were always together. 28 00:01:18.640 --> 00:01:22.680 We hunted together, we fished together, 29 00:01:22.680 --> 00:01:25.680 we've been by the fire and had cigars together 30 00:01:25.680 --> 00:01:28.960 for so many years. 31 00:01:28.960 --> 00:01:31.880 Probably smoked hundreds of cigars together, 32 00:01:31.880 --> 00:01:33.840 probably caught hundreds of fish. 33 00:01:33.840 --> 00:01:34.680 You, not me. 34 00:01:34.680 --> 00:01:36.480 Definitely, I don't know about that, 35 00:01:36.480 --> 00:01:38.640 but we caught a few. 36 00:01:38.640 --> 00:01:42.240 Shot elk together, cleaned elk together. 37 00:01:42.240 --> 00:01:44.120 I think, was I the first one 38 00:01:44.120 --> 00:01:45.520 to kind of show you elk hunting? 39 00:01:45.520 --> 00:01:46.720 Did we do that for the first time? 40 00:01:46.720 --> 00:01:48.200 Yeah, big game hunting for sure. 41 00:01:48.920 --> 00:01:52.320 And then Sam, his oldest son has come with us too. 42 00:01:52.320 --> 00:01:54.480 That's pretty fun to see him grow up 43 00:01:54.480 --> 00:01:55.880 from being just a little squirt. 44 00:01:55.880 --> 00:01:57.040 No doubt. 45 00:01:57.040 --> 00:01:59.440 Yeah, adventuring from the beginning, 46 00:01:59.440 --> 00:02:02.920 just kind of starting to start to do life together 47 00:02:02.920 --> 00:02:04.720 from the early days of the road. 48 00:02:04.720 --> 00:02:06.520 It's kind of surreal sitting here now, 49 00:02:06.520 --> 00:02:09.600 filming and talking about this journey 50 00:02:09.600 --> 00:02:11.760 that's evolved over the last 10 years. 51 00:02:11.760 --> 00:02:14.080 Some of you may know this, some of you may not know this, 52 00:02:14.080 --> 00:02:18.840 but when I resigned from Mountain Springs, 53 00:02:18.840 --> 00:02:20.960 I felt super lonely. 54 00:02:20.960 --> 00:02:24.080 I felt really betrayed and hurt. 55 00:02:24.080 --> 00:02:27.200 And some guys sort of gathered around me 56 00:02:27.200 --> 00:02:29.240 to comfort me, to be a friend to me. 57 00:02:29.240 --> 00:02:30.640 Some I knew, some I didn't know, 58 00:02:30.640 --> 00:02:32.520 but that's where Ryan came in. 59 00:02:32.520 --> 00:02:35.240 Ryan came in during that time. 60 00:02:35.240 --> 00:02:40.240 And because of that relationship of vulnerability 61 00:02:41.080 --> 00:02:44.440 and brokenness that I was going through, 62 00:02:44.440 --> 00:02:48.240 then it was sort of a setup that we didn't expect 63 00:02:48.240 --> 00:02:53.240 that Ryan was gonna go through within the year of my thing. 64 00:02:54.360 --> 00:02:57.080 So I think it's kind of an interesting spot 65 00:02:57.080 --> 00:03:02.080 to start with, what were you going through? 66 00:03:02.200 --> 00:03:04.160 What was happening in your life 67 00:03:04.160 --> 00:03:05.640 and how did all that come down? 68 00:03:05.640 --> 00:03:06.960 Absolutely. 69 00:03:07.000 --> 00:03:10.320 Well, God had been drawing us to Colorado 70 00:03:10.320 --> 00:03:11.560 out of our life in Phoenix, 71 00:03:11.560 --> 00:03:13.560 where we had started our family and life together, 72 00:03:13.560 --> 00:03:14.520 Mandy and I. 73 00:03:14.520 --> 00:03:18.840 We have four kids ranging from Sam, the oldest of 18, 74 00:03:18.840 --> 00:03:22.240 down to Sawyer, seven, Sophie and Sadie in the middle, 75 00:03:22.240 --> 00:03:23.800 our girls, so bookend boys. 76 00:03:23.800 --> 00:03:26.160 Got the cutest kids in the world. 77 00:03:26.160 --> 00:03:31.160 They could be models on the picture of any magazine. 78 00:03:31.240 --> 00:03:32.240 Very gracious. 79 00:03:32.240 --> 00:03:34.160 We have their mother to thank for that, for sure. 80 00:03:34.160 --> 00:03:35.760 That's true, I have to admit that. 81 00:03:35.760 --> 00:03:37.200 Absolutely, we married up. 82 00:03:37.200 --> 00:03:41.000 I would say the journey that God started us on 83 00:03:41.000 --> 00:03:43.360 into Colorado, that's where the story starts 84 00:03:43.360 --> 00:03:45.680 for really you and us, 85 00:03:45.680 --> 00:03:47.640 even though we weren't maybe that close together 86 00:03:47.640 --> 00:03:48.720 in those early years, 87 00:03:48.720 --> 00:03:52.680 when we moved from Phoenix in 2010 that summer, 88 00:03:52.680 --> 00:03:54.720 Mandy was, we were checking out some churches, 89 00:03:54.720 --> 00:03:56.880 checked out Al's church here in town, 90 00:03:56.880 --> 00:03:59.440 and then Mandy caught you in the afternoon on the radio. 91 00:03:59.440 --> 00:04:01.600 And she's like, we should go listen to, 92 00:04:01.600 --> 00:04:03.520 we should go over and check out Mountain Springs. 93 00:04:03.520 --> 00:04:05.880 And I like, I think you'll like how this guy communicates. 94 00:04:05.880 --> 00:04:07.360 And I said, absolutely, let's go check it out. 95 00:04:07.360 --> 00:04:12.360 And so Chuck went, visited September, jumped right in. 96 00:04:12.560 --> 00:04:16.760 And from the very beginning of my first introduction to you, 97 00:04:16.760 --> 00:04:20.019 how you communicated, teaching verse by verse, 98 00:04:20.019 --> 00:04:21.040 we felt at home. 99 00:04:21.040 --> 00:04:23.480 And I said, this, Steve's gonna be my pastor. 100 00:04:23.480 --> 00:04:25.300 And just the spiritual growth 101 00:04:25.300 --> 00:04:27.320 that we got to go through together, 102 00:04:27.320 --> 00:04:29.080 coming into a community with no family, 103 00:04:29.080 --> 00:04:31.160 we moved here not knowing anybody, 104 00:04:31.160 --> 00:04:34.920 came on kind of what I would call a bank scholarship, 105 00:04:34.920 --> 00:04:38.760 in that a promotion brought us into Colorado out of Phoenix. 106 00:04:38.760 --> 00:04:39.920 And the next several years, 107 00:04:39.920 --> 00:04:42.080 we're just sitting under your teaching, 108 00:04:42.080 --> 00:04:44.280 your leadership at MSC. 109 00:04:44.280 --> 00:04:47.160 And we got involved in community groups 110 00:04:47.160 --> 00:04:50.400 and really had a great growth season in our lives 111 00:04:50.400 --> 00:04:53.320 with community, with biblical teaching. 112 00:04:53.320 --> 00:04:56.800 And that's where things started to shift then, 113 00:04:56.800 --> 00:04:58.680 where we're picking up now. 114 00:04:58.680 --> 00:04:59.520 And. 115 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:03.080 I got a call, I think Liz contacted Mandy and said, 116 00:05:03.080 --> 00:05:06.520 hey, would you be interested in coming to a very close, 117 00:05:06.520 --> 00:05:08.040 just community group of people? 118 00:05:08.040 --> 00:05:10.080 We wanna just pray together about what's happening 119 00:05:10.080 --> 00:05:11.320 for our future. 120 00:05:11.320 --> 00:05:13.280 And I think there was about seven couples 121 00:05:13.280 --> 00:05:16.440 in your living room, and that began the journey 122 00:05:16.440 --> 00:05:19.080 of what God was starting to write in both of our stories 123 00:05:19.080 --> 00:05:21.520 about the planting of the road, 124 00:05:21.520 --> 00:05:24.280 where he was leading you to pastor, 125 00:05:24.280 --> 00:05:27.400 and then really where our two stories 126 00:05:27.400 --> 00:05:29.200 were starting to converge. 127 00:05:29.240 --> 00:05:30.960 And I remember sitting around the fire pit, 128 00:05:30.960 --> 00:05:32.960 and as we were thinking about and hearing 129 00:05:32.960 --> 00:05:35.160 what was in your heart about a church plant, 130 00:05:36.120 --> 00:05:39.920 here in Colorado Springs, and then deeper in that still 131 00:05:39.920 --> 00:05:43.160 was this message of how do we go after the masculine spirit? 132 00:05:43.160 --> 00:05:45.260 How do we restore and recover guys? 133 00:05:46.160 --> 00:05:49.200 Something that was very passionate for me as well. 134 00:05:49.200 --> 00:05:51.400 The energy, the enthusiasm, 135 00:05:51.400 --> 00:05:53.280 the excitement around that was great. 136 00:05:53.280 --> 00:05:56.560 And just the conversations were rich and full, 137 00:05:56.960 --> 00:05:58.880 and just the future was a blank canvas 138 00:05:58.880 --> 00:06:03.880 of rewriting essentially how a local church 139 00:06:04.360 --> 00:06:06.920 can go after the masculine heart. 140 00:06:06.920 --> 00:06:07.760 It's pretty cool. 141 00:06:07.760 --> 00:06:10.040 That's true, and for Ryan and I, 142 00:06:10.040 --> 00:06:11.360 we had never done that before. 143 00:06:11.360 --> 00:06:15.280 He actually had more life experience 144 00:06:15.280 --> 00:06:17.440 in men's ministry than I did, 145 00:06:17.440 --> 00:06:21.480 because down at First Assembly, down in Phoenix, 146 00:06:21.480 --> 00:06:22.960 you'd been a part of and exposed 147 00:06:22.960 --> 00:06:24.520 to a really good program down there, 148 00:06:24.520 --> 00:06:27.520 and Ed Cole and all that stuff. 149 00:06:27.520 --> 00:06:29.720 I didn't have much of anything. 150 00:06:29.720 --> 00:06:33.360 Maybe read a few books, sort of Christian men's books. 151 00:06:33.360 --> 00:06:36.600 That was about it, but yeah, it's true. 152 00:06:36.600 --> 00:06:41.160 We started thinking about what, 153 00:06:41.160 --> 00:06:44.680 well, let me backtrack a little before I talk about that. 154 00:06:44.680 --> 00:06:47.920 So then tell us what happened to you 155 00:06:47.920 --> 00:06:51.400 in the banking world where you were a trust officer. 156 00:06:51.400 --> 00:06:54.800 You'd spent 14 years in that after college. 157 00:06:54.800 --> 00:06:58.360 So this is your career, but then something happened 158 00:06:58.360 --> 00:07:00.640 that was pretty traumatic. 159 00:07:00.640 --> 00:07:03.120 Yeah, interesting, true. 160 00:07:03.120 --> 00:07:06.680 So went to college, got a history degree, 161 00:07:06.680 --> 00:07:09.840 realized that that wasn't very useful in corporate America, 162 00:07:09.840 --> 00:07:12.320 was on a military track through ROTC, 163 00:07:12.320 --> 00:07:14.400 and through just some life events, 164 00:07:14.400 --> 00:07:15.960 God changed that trajectory and ended up 165 00:07:15.960 --> 00:07:19.440 in corporate America and in the world of finance. 166 00:07:19.440 --> 00:07:21.720 And then specifically in the private bank, 167 00:07:21.720 --> 00:07:23.760 helping people with wealth management, 168 00:07:23.760 --> 00:07:25.960 estates, and those things. 169 00:07:25.960 --> 00:07:30.320 And it was fulfilling, but I didn't feel 170 00:07:30.320 --> 00:07:34.360 like I was really living out what God had put in my heart. 171 00:07:34.360 --> 00:07:36.760 And I felt, I'd shared this with Mandy, 172 00:07:36.760 --> 00:07:38.520 and I know that I've shared this with you as well, 173 00:07:38.520 --> 00:07:41.080 just sitting in the woods or shooting birds. 174 00:07:41.080 --> 00:07:44.980 It's just that I felt like I was this wild kind of lion 175 00:07:44.980 --> 00:07:47.000 with a wildness or a heart in me 176 00:07:47.000 --> 00:07:49.660 that was starting to die in the corporate structure 177 00:07:49.660 --> 00:07:52.540 of America, working in the banking world. 178 00:07:52.540 --> 00:07:54.400 I would just start to say this simple prayer, 179 00:07:54.400 --> 00:07:56.240 and all this was happening simultaneously, 180 00:07:56.240 --> 00:07:58.200 that the road was being planted, 181 00:07:58.200 --> 00:08:01.720 and then God's stirring my heart. 182 00:08:01.720 --> 00:08:03.720 And I start to say this simple prayer, 183 00:08:03.720 --> 00:08:05.840 and given this testimony in a lot more detail 184 00:08:05.840 --> 00:08:09.200 at our men's conferences, but it's this prayer of, 185 00:08:09.200 --> 00:08:14.200 God, father me today and reveal the work you have 186 00:08:14.220 --> 00:08:15.800 for me to do this side of eternity. 187 00:08:15.800 --> 00:08:17.480 Like, what am I here, what's my purpose, 188 00:08:17.480 --> 00:08:21.040 what have you put in my heart that is not alive right now, 189 00:08:21.040 --> 00:08:23.000 and I need you to father me today. 190 00:08:23.000 --> 00:08:25.080 And I would pray that on the way into work 191 00:08:25.080 --> 00:08:26.720 and on the way home from work. 192 00:08:26.720 --> 00:08:30.880 And then as he does, God starts to shift things 193 00:08:30.880 --> 00:08:33.080 in the heavenlies and in the physical, 194 00:08:33.080 --> 00:08:35.919 and things beyond my control and even understanding 195 00:08:35.919 --> 00:08:39.299 start to deteriorate in the banking world. 196 00:08:39.299 --> 00:08:41.320 I'm losing favor with management, 197 00:08:42.780 --> 00:08:45.040 peer relationships are falling apart, 198 00:08:45.040 --> 00:08:47.000 and I can't even understand why. 199 00:08:47.000 --> 00:08:50.240 And I would come to find out that there was some sabotage 200 00:08:50.240 --> 00:08:52.000 happening behind the scenes, 201 00:08:52.000 --> 00:08:56.240 and that there was some people working pretty actively 202 00:08:56.240 --> 00:08:59.000 to see me removed from that organization. 203 00:08:59.000 --> 00:09:03.100 And I go to bed one night, I have this very lucid dream 204 00:09:03.100 --> 00:09:05.680 of a conference room happening, 205 00:09:05.680 --> 00:09:08.720 and everybody, peers are at the table, 206 00:09:08.720 --> 00:09:11.200 and clearly I wasn't invited to the meeting. 207 00:09:11.200 --> 00:09:14.080 And I come in, and I kind of go to my office, 208 00:09:14.080 --> 00:09:16.360 leave the door open, I can hear them talking. 209 00:09:16.360 --> 00:09:18.720 And then there's some specific language about, 210 00:09:19.640 --> 00:09:21.340 some of my peers asked where I was, 211 00:09:21.340 --> 00:09:22.240 why I wasn't at the meeting, 212 00:09:22.240 --> 00:09:24.120 and the manager running the meeting says, 213 00:09:24.120 --> 00:09:27.440 well, we need to find a short-term exit strategy for Ryan, 214 00:09:27.440 --> 00:09:28.620 it's not working out. 215 00:09:29.600 --> 00:09:31.000 And then I woke up from my dream, 216 00:09:31.000 --> 00:09:32.760 and I kind of was a little flustered, 217 00:09:32.760 --> 00:09:35.280 went into work, kind of day started, 218 00:09:35.280 --> 00:09:37.800 this is real time now, and I'm at my desk, 219 00:09:37.800 --> 00:09:39.320 kind of have the day, a lot of things happen 220 00:09:39.320 --> 00:09:41.540 in between my dream and the end of the day, 221 00:09:41.540 --> 00:09:46.140 just business and life, and clients, needs, et cetera. 222 00:09:46.140 --> 00:09:46.980 And then at the end of the day, 223 00:09:46.980 --> 00:09:48.020 I'm kind of shutting everything down, 224 00:09:48.020 --> 00:09:49.900 and I see this email, check my email one last time, 225 00:09:49.900 --> 00:09:52.780 and then there's this email from the manager in Denver, 226 00:09:52.780 --> 00:09:54.280 and it has my name in the subject line, 227 00:09:54.280 --> 00:09:57.820 but yet I'm getting a copy of it by accident, 228 00:09:57.820 --> 00:10:00.020 and I open it up, and I start reading it. 229 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:06.880 And one of the last messages or lines in the email, and this went to HR as well as my direct supervisor in Colorado Springs, it said, 230 00:10:07.880 --> 00:10:09.760 doesn't seem like Ryan's going to be a long term fit. 231 00:10:09.760 --> 00:10:11.720 We need to find a short term exit strategy. 232 00:10:12.040 --> 00:10:13.480 And there I sit in my chair. 233 00:10:13.480 --> 00:10:15.000 I feel like I go to ground zero. 234 00:10:15.000 --> 00:10:18.200 We talk about being alert and oriented times five. 235 00:10:18.720 --> 00:10:20.040 And you've referenced this, too. 236 00:10:20.240 --> 00:10:22.760 And I go to a zero and I'm kind of spun out. 237 00:10:22.760 --> 00:10:24.280 I'm going, oh, my gosh, what is this? 238 00:10:24.280 --> 00:10:28.040 Why do I have access to this email and why now? 239 00:10:28.760 --> 00:10:33.400 And I and my world's confused and I'm shocked and I'm disoriented and I don't know what's going on. 240 00:10:33.800 --> 00:10:39.280 I leave that email there and I come home and I spend the night kind of processing that situation. 241 00:10:39.560 --> 00:10:40.440 I called you. 242 00:10:41.520 --> 00:10:43.880 I remember calling you on the way home and just talking through that. 243 00:10:44.240 --> 00:10:48.880 And then I God brings back the the revelation of the dream I'd had the night before. 244 00:10:48.880 --> 00:10:50.000 And it's all coming together. 245 00:10:50.000 --> 00:10:54.880 And I'm going, oh, my gosh, Holy Spirit CIA working behind the scenes. 246 00:10:55.200 --> 00:10:56.600 And I have information. 247 00:10:56.640 --> 00:10:57.400 Intelligence. 248 00:10:57.720 --> 00:10:58.520 Yeah, that's right. 249 00:10:58.840 --> 00:11:00.360 Christ Intelligence Agency. 250 00:11:00.360 --> 00:11:01.120 That's right, brother. 251 00:11:01.520 --> 00:11:02.360 So then I go in. 252 00:11:02.360 --> 00:11:03.000 I said, you know what? 253 00:11:04.160 --> 00:11:06.280 I'm going to be the owner of my destiny. 254 00:11:06.320 --> 00:11:07.480 I'm not going to let them let me go. 255 00:11:07.480 --> 00:11:09.360 I'm going to go in and I'm going to resign on my own terms. 256 00:11:09.360 --> 00:11:15.400 So wake up the next day, write the email, send to my supervisor, go in. 257 00:11:15.400 --> 00:11:20.400 He goes, I saw that you also received that email, too, and apologize for the awkwardness. 258 00:11:20.400 --> 00:11:21.160 I said, all good. 259 00:11:21.720 --> 00:11:25.800 So I think we all understand kind of what needs to happen here and then move on. 260 00:11:26.000 --> 00:11:27.080 Give the two week notice. 261 00:11:27.840 --> 00:11:33.240 Now, the road had already been established for about a year at this point or was about to have an anniversary in May. 262 00:11:33.880 --> 00:11:36.320 This all happened at the end of March. 263 00:11:36.600 --> 00:11:38.360 And I tell you that I resigned. 264 00:11:38.360 --> 00:11:41.160 And you go, well, sounds like we should probably go clear our minds. 265 00:11:41.160 --> 00:11:42.800 And we went out and did some pheasant hunting that day. 266 00:11:43.520 --> 00:11:44.240 And that was great. 267 00:11:44.240 --> 00:11:49.040 And on the road, I just remember we're driving and then what was crazy. 268 00:11:49.480 --> 00:11:53.440 And this is where God's telling stories and converging stories together. 269 00:11:53.440 --> 00:12:02.280 And this was pretty wild because we realized together that it had been exactly a year to the same date that you had submitted your resignation to MSC. 270 00:12:03.000 --> 00:12:06.280 And I had resigned a year later from the bank to the day. 271 00:12:06.760 --> 00:12:10.480 And God was just starting to orchestrate and do some deeper things. 272 00:12:10.920 --> 00:12:11.200 Yeah. 273 00:12:11.200 --> 00:12:16.240 So we're driving out to Rocky Mountain Roosters and talking about it. 274 00:12:16.320 --> 00:12:16.600 Yeah. 275 00:12:16.640 --> 00:12:20.200 And we were like, whoa, this is the same day, a year later. 276 00:12:20.240 --> 00:12:20.680 Yes. 277 00:12:20.720 --> 00:12:21.560 That's crazy. 278 00:12:21.560 --> 00:12:22.400 It was crazy. 279 00:12:22.800 --> 00:12:23.320 Yeah. 280 00:12:23.440 --> 00:12:26.520 I mean, only God, only God can orchestrate those kinds of things. 281 00:12:26.960 --> 00:12:29.200 And then we started praying about what the future could look like. 282 00:12:29.600 --> 00:12:34.680 And then it would turn out that I would be, you know, your first full-time, you know, hire for the road. 283 00:12:34.880 --> 00:12:35.360 That's right. 284 00:12:35.480 --> 00:12:38.040 And then, man, what he's built in the last 10 years here. 285 00:12:38.080 --> 00:12:38.440 It's crazy. 286 00:12:38.440 --> 00:12:39.680 I'm sure we'll get to that, but yeah. 287 00:12:40.360 --> 00:12:44.360 So Ryan and I now have, um, how many staff do we have? 288 00:12:44.720 --> 00:12:46.720 We have nine full-time pastors. 289 00:12:46.760 --> 00:12:47.880 Nine full-time pastors. 290 00:12:47.880 --> 00:12:48.960 And then supporting staff. 291 00:12:49.000 --> 00:12:52.600 Um, between part-time and full-time about 42 staff. 292 00:12:52.840 --> 00:12:53.320 Wow. 293 00:12:53.680 --> 00:12:54.040 Yeah. 294 00:12:54.320 --> 00:12:55.200 So there you go. 295 00:12:55.200 --> 00:13:00.680 And that was just Ryan and I, just me for a year, then Ryan and me for the next year. 296 00:13:01.120 --> 00:13:04.400 And then as, as the church grew, we added. 297 00:13:04.520 --> 00:13:14.880 What do you think for you, Ryan has been the biggest surprise about being in full-time pastoral work? 298 00:13:14.920 --> 00:13:16.000 What's the biggest surprise? 299 00:13:16.000 --> 00:13:17.280 You didn't expect this. 300 00:13:17.760 --> 00:13:21.240 And it it's been surprising to you. 301 00:13:21.280 --> 00:13:29.120 Well, sitting in guidance counselor's offices, even as a young man, thinking about what career path would look like, what was in my heart, explored a lot of different opportunities. 302 00:13:29.120 --> 00:13:40.680 Even at one point had an offer letter to continue the process of employment for Colorado Springs police department was considering fire department for Phoenix, um, went pretty far in the application process with the FBI. 303 00:13:41.320 --> 00:13:42.120 I didn't know. 304 00:13:42.200 --> 00:13:49.760 I mean, God's writing a story in the background and I'm, and I'm kind of like throwing darts at the target that I think is going to meet what's in my heart. 305 00:13:50.440 --> 00:13:57.440 And the biggest surprise is over the last 10 years, what he's been so consistently revealing to me is I couldn't imagine myself doing anything else. 306 00:13:57.840 --> 00:14:08.200 The life, the joy, the adventure that being in this full service of the kingdom of God, being a professional Christian, as you often say, um, yeah, I don't mean that positively either. 307 00:14:08.200 --> 00:14:16.160 It's because it's kind of like, wow, it has a projection out there of being a poser, right? 308 00:14:16.200 --> 00:14:16.520 Yeah. 309 00:14:16.520 --> 00:14:22.960 I think, I think we've really tried to battle that and tried not to fall into those traps, typical traps. 310 00:14:23.280 --> 00:14:23.960 Absolutely. 311 00:14:24.520 --> 00:14:37.120 And, and I've said this to Mandy often and many times over the 10 years and she was here, she'd echo it too, is just to say, you know, babe, if I wasn't working at the road with Steve, I couldn't see myself in ministry anywhere else. 312 00:14:37.640 --> 00:14:45.400 You know, I, I just, I believe wholeheartedly in what God's put in your heart, the vulnerability that you practice, what's offered here. 313 00:14:45.480 --> 00:14:46.080 It's unique. 314 00:14:46.120 --> 00:14:57.480 I mean, it's been unique even from anything from the corporate structure, but some of the surprises have been naively when you kind of put the Jersey on the target increases. 315 00:14:57.640 --> 00:15:00.040 And I think in the early years I was naive to. 316 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:05.000 to the increase of maybe spiritual and demonic attacks 317 00:15:05.440 --> 00:15:06.760 just in our personal lives. 318 00:15:06.760 --> 00:15:11.760 And the intentionality that it takes to walk this out, 319 00:15:13.000 --> 00:15:14.720 as our light's expanding, 320 00:15:14.720 --> 00:15:17.400 as God's using us to break darkness, 321 00:15:17.400 --> 00:15:19.760 be the tip of the spear in some cases for men's hearts, 322 00:15:19.760 --> 00:15:21.360 for men with their son's hearts, 323 00:15:21.360 --> 00:15:23.840 in the case of like the middle school Forge program, 324 00:15:23.840 --> 00:15:27.240 and trying to change some generational things 325 00:15:27.240 --> 00:15:31.760 and just realizing like, okay, I'm not like his only target 326 00:15:31.760 --> 00:15:32.720 or even his sole target, 327 00:15:32.720 --> 00:15:35.360 but my target's increased for the enemy's camp. 328 00:15:35.360 --> 00:15:36.200 That's on the negative side. 329 00:15:36.200 --> 00:15:38.320 On the positive side, I would say 330 00:15:38.320 --> 00:15:40.440 that going through the church merger 331 00:15:40.440 --> 00:15:42.600 was just a very beautiful process. 332 00:15:42.600 --> 00:15:44.200 Yeah, it really was. 333 00:15:44.200 --> 00:15:46.140 I've had a concept and a construct 334 00:15:46.140 --> 00:15:48.140 of what it looks like in corporate America, 335 00:15:48.140 --> 00:15:51.320 but walking through that with just beautiful hearts 336 00:15:51.320 --> 00:15:55.440 and minds of, you know, Chapel Hill's Baptist elders, 337 00:15:55.440 --> 00:15:57.240 our elder team at the time, 338 00:15:57.240 --> 00:15:58.920 and the kindness, the gentleness, 339 00:15:58.920 --> 00:16:00.560 the love that was in the room 340 00:16:00.560 --> 00:16:03.080 as we were just really trying to search God's kingdom 341 00:16:03.080 --> 00:16:05.000 for what do you have here? 342 00:16:05.000 --> 00:16:06.720 It was just an amazing process. 343 00:16:06.720 --> 00:16:07.760 Really was. 344 00:16:08.800 --> 00:16:12.040 We were shocked by that 345 00:16:12.040 --> 00:16:15.560 because all the stories that I'd ever read, 346 00:16:15.560 --> 00:16:18.280 all the pastors that I'd ever known 347 00:16:18.280 --> 00:16:22.240 who had tried to do mergers usually failed 348 00:16:22.240 --> 00:16:26.280 or somebody got all of everything 349 00:16:26.280 --> 00:16:27.720 and the other guy get ripped off, 350 00:16:27.720 --> 00:16:29.680 and I just didn't want any of that. 351 00:16:29.680 --> 00:16:32.000 And I wanted us to stay pure, 352 00:16:32.000 --> 00:16:34.920 but we couldn't have done it, honestly, 353 00:16:34.920 --> 00:16:37.880 without there being the integrity 354 00:16:37.880 --> 00:16:42.880 and the honesty of the Chapel Hill's church people 355 00:16:43.560 --> 00:16:48.280 and just how that was navigated by them. 356 00:16:48.280 --> 00:16:50.520 And Bobby Lingo was the pastor. 357 00:16:50.520 --> 00:16:51.800 He really made it happen. 358 00:16:52.240 --> 00:16:53.840 He really pressed in on that. 359 00:16:53.840 --> 00:16:55.600 And we had to work out some things 360 00:16:55.600 --> 00:16:57.560 as far as how to bless him 361 00:16:57.560 --> 00:17:01.400 in the interim process of the merger, 362 00:17:01.400 --> 00:17:04.400 but even that wasn't any more 363 00:17:04.400 --> 00:17:07.000 than some prolonged conversations. 364 00:17:07.000 --> 00:17:09.440 Nobody ever was upset at each other. 365 00:17:10.280 --> 00:17:12.720 I know Bobby's told me he felt really blessed 366 00:17:12.720 --> 00:17:16.200 by how we took care of him. 367 00:17:16.200 --> 00:17:18.119 We really wanted to do that. 368 00:17:18.119 --> 00:17:19.680 So for any of you out there 369 00:17:19.680 --> 00:17:22.319 that are considering a merger with another church, 370 00:17:22.319 --> 00:17:25.079 give us a call if you want any wisdom 371 00:17:25.079 --> 00:17:27.960 because we didn't really use any consultants. 372 00:17:27.960 --> 00:17:30.600 We did for a short time, but not very long. 373 00:17:30.600 --> 00:17:32.400 We really figured it out on our own. 374 00:17:32.400 --> 00:17:35.640 And everything, I think, boiled down 375 00:17:35.640 --> 00:17:39.240 to the integrity of both sides 376 00:17:39.240 --> 00:17:43.320 and this passion for the kingdom of God expansion 377 00:17:43.320 --> 00:17:46.800 that we were gonna look past some of our differences 378 00:17:46.800 --> 00:17:49.400 in order to move forward with. 379 00:17:50.120 --> 00:17:53.080 I know one of the guys who was an elder for them, 380 00:17:53.080 --> 00:17:58.080 he echoed what I felt from the other group 381 00:17:58.840 --> 00:18:02.120 that we just want this building to be used, man. 382 00:18:02.120 --> 00:18:04.160 We just wanna see it full of people. 383 00:18:04.160 --> 00:18:07.080 It once was, but it's not now, 384 00:18:07.080 --> 00:18:09.120 but we wanna see that happen again. 385 00:18:09.120 --> 00:18:10.480 What a sweet spirit. 386 00:18:10.480 --> 00:18:11.320 It was sweet. 387 00:18:11.320 --> 00:18:14.000 And I mean, I think my takeaways were 388 00:18:14.000 --> 00:18:18.880 what I saw demonstrated with a great group of minds 389 00:18:18.880 --> 00:18:21.280 was that people checked egos at the door. 390 00:18:21.280 --> 00:18:24.240 They really did enter into the room with humility. 391 00:18:24.240 --> 00:18:27.840 And that was so pressing on me, 392 00:18:27.840 --> 00:18:29.360 probably being the junior in the room 393 00:18:29.360 --> 00:18:32.160 by easily 20 years with most of everybody. 394 00:18:32.160 --> 00:18:35.040 I'm watching these, I mean, 395 00:18:35.040 --> 00:18:36.640 they were champions of God's kingdom, 396 00:18:36.640 --> 00:18:38.360 essentially, on both sides. 397 00:18:38.360 --> 00:18:40.600 And just saying, being open-handed with, 398 00:18:40.600 --> 00:18:41.840 God, what are you designing here? 399 00:18:41.840 --> 00:18:43.320 You're the architect. 400 00:18:43.320 --> 00:18:45.360 Let us just be open-minded and open-handed 401 00:18:45.360 --> 00:18:46.760 with this process. 402 00:18:46.760 --> 00:18:49.440 And then walking that out, it was just beautiful. 403 00:18:49.440 --> 00:18:51.960 It was one of the most God-honoring and glorifying things 404 00:18:51.960 --> 00:18:54.600 I think I've been a part of as it relates to church. 405 00:18:54.600 --> 00:18:57.240 And you're right, statistics are pretty dim 406 00:18:57.240 --> 00:18:59.200 as to the general success 407 00:18:59.200 --> 00:19:00.880 of how those things often don't work out. 408 00:19:00.880 --> 00:19:02.120 Yeah, that's right. 409 00:19:02.120 --> 00:19:06.360 So Ryan, take me back to a little bit about your family, 410 00:19:06.360 --> 00:19:09.240 where you're from, your walk of faith, 411 00:19:09.240 --> 00:19:12.320 your first encountering Christ in your life. 412 00:19:12.320 --> 00:19:13.920 Absolutely. 413 00:19:13.960 --> 00:19:18.560 Yeah, grew up in the church. 414 00:19:18.560 --> 00:19:20.520 Mom was the bookkeeper, grandma ran, 415 00:19:20.520 --> 00:19:22.560 was the receptionist, ran the bookstore. 416 00:19:22.560 --> 00:19:25.840 Uncles, dad, grandpa were all deacons and elders, 417 00:19:25.840 --> 00:19:27.680 grew up Assemblies of God. 418 00:19:27.680 --> 00:19:30.880 Tommy Barnett's original church plant in Iowa, 419 00:19:30.880 --> 00:19:33.600 Davenport, Iowa, West Side Assemblies of God, 420 00:19:33.600 --> 00:19:36.320 is where my formative years were spent. 421 00:19:36.320 --> 00:19:38.000 They had a Christian school 422 00:19:38.000 --> 00:19:40.560 that I went through to in the very beginning, 423 00:19:40.560 --> 00:19:43.160 and then grew up in that church. 424 00:19:43.160 --> 00:19:45.880 We would later catch back up with Tommy 425 00:19:45.880 --> 00:19:48.120 when we transitioned to Phoenix and moved to Phoenix 426 00:19:48.120 --> 00:19:50.880 and was a part of Phoenix First Assembly down there. 427 00:19:50.880 --> 00:19:54.320 And then simultaneously, Mandy grew up Assemblies too, 428 00:19:54.320 --> 00:19:55.680 and had the same background. 429 00:19:55.680 --> 00:19:59.440 And so growing up in that, I guess, in that environment, 430 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:06.000 It was interesting because, you know, you just know what you know, and you don't know what you don't know, 431 00:20:06.000 --> 00:20:09.000 and how other people walk out their Christian faith. 432 00:20:09.000 --> 00:20:13.000 And I think, you know, I was blessed by really good spiritual leaders, 433 00:20:13.000 --> 00:20:19.000 had great pastors along the way, caring people that were active and helping grow our faith, growing my faith. 434 00:20:19.000 --> 00:20:24.000 We were that family that was there every time the doors were open, serving behind the scenes. 435 00:20:24.000 --> 00:20:29.000 And I saw my parents model kind of a life of servant leadership. 436 00:20:29.000 --> 00:20:32.000 And it was often that our family was one of the last to leave on Sundays, 437 00:20:32.000 --> 00:20:35.000 because my dad had to say hi to everybody in the church. 438 00:20:35.000 --> 00:20:36.000 And that was formative. 439 00:20:36.000 --> 00:20:44.000 I came to know around my high school years, I was—my parents had separated, 440 00:20:44.000 --> 00:20:47.000 and I was in a little bit of turmoil and turbulence. 441 00:20:47.000 --> 00:20:48.000 And my dad had the idea to say, 442 00:20:48.000 --> 00:20:51.000 why don't you take the summer between your junior and senior year off, 443 00:20:51.000 --> 00:20:54.000 go live with your sister in summer in Phoenix. 444 00:20:54.000 --> 00:20:58.000 Be good for you to get out of town, maybe clear your head, you know, separate from your friend group. 445 00:20:58.000 --> 00:20:59.000 And he was spot on about that. 446 00:20:59.000 --> 00:21:03.000 And it was that summer where I got really intentional. 447 00:21:03.000 --> 00:21:08.000 I think I discovered a very true and authentic relationship with Jesus, asked Him into my heart, 448 00:21:08.000 --> 00:21:16.000 and kind of from that day forward started that sanctification process of just kind of the daily walk and relationship. 449 00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:20.000 It's also the same summer I met Mandy, who would later become my wife. 450 00:21:20.000 --> 00:21:25.000 She was down there visiting her sister for the same reasons, different reasons, 451 00:21:25.000 --> 00:21:28.000 but just down there visiting her sister for the summer. 452 00:21:28.000 --> 00:21:29.000 And so that was really cool. 453 00:21:29.000 --> 00:21:31.000 And God was starting to write our story together. 454 00:21:31.000 --> 00:21:38.000 That would be the early years of kind of coming to faith, our family's background, 455 00:21:38.000 --> 00:21:40.000 and even meeting for the first time in Phoenix. 456 00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:42.000 So Mandy's right by your side. 457 00:21:42.000 --> 00:21:44.000 She's now our assistant. 458 00:21:44.000 --> 00:21:47.000 So she's super—she's kind of a superwoman. 459 00:21:47.000 --> 00:21:51.000 She's an assistant to you and me, 460 00:21:51.000 --> 00:21:57.000 and she's homeschooling two of the four kids, overseeing the other two, and Sam's just starting college. 461 00:21:57.000 --> 00:21:59.000 So she's juggling a lot. 462 00:21:59.000 --> 00:22:05.000 And you guys are juggling a lot with young ones coming a stair step down. 463 00:22:05.000 --> 00:22:10.000 Sam would be 18, and Sawyer would be about— 464 00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:11.000 Seven. 465 00:22:11.000 --> 00:22:12.000 Seven, yeah. 466 00:22:12.000 --> 00:22:17.000 So, again, I'll just say this to all the listeners out there. 467 00:22:17.000 --> 00:22:19.000 Cute is family. 468 00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:26.000 Sawyer's a riot, Sadie—I mean, the whole family is just a riot. 469 00:22:26.000 --> 00:22:32.000 So I've seen Sam, Sophie, Sadie, Sawyer come up, seen you guys navigate some stuff. 470 00:22:32.000 --> 00:22:35.000 So it hasn't been a bed of roses, all right? 471 00:22:35.000 --> 00:22:42.000 So this journey together has not been a bed of roses on either side, my side or your side. 472 00:22:42.000 --> 00:22:48.000 So you've wept with me over stuff, and I've wept with you over stuff. 473 00:22:49.000 --> 00:22:54.000 Tell us a little bit, Ryan, that you feel like you can share, because you don't know the audience here. 474 00:22:54.000 --> 00:23:01.000 You went through a dark time a few years ago, and we were navigating it together. 475 00:23:01.000 --> 00:23:06.000 About seven years ago, I would say, yeah. 476 00:23:06.000 --> 00:23:12.000 Seven years ago, God started to kind of knock on my door, kind of started to deliver some mail. 477 00:23:12.000 --> 00:23:18.000 And it was this conversation I started to have with Him of Him as the loving, gracious Father, 478 00:23:18.000 --> 00:23:21.000 because God's a gentleman in how He always approaches us and our hearts, 479 00:23:21.000 --> 00:23:25.000 and even some of our brokenness in our story that He knows exists. 480 00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:30.000 And the desire there, His true and holy desire, is to make us whole and complete 481 00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:33.000 to the degree that we're willing to be obedient and open our hands. 482 00:23:33.000 --> 00:23:39.000 And seven years ago, He started that journey with me, and it's a sweet invitation to say, 483 00:23:39.000 --> 00:23:41.000 there's more that you can be experiencing. 484 00:23:41.000 --> 00:23:45.000 There's more work that I want to do through you if you'd be willing and open. 485 00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:49.000 But for you to do that, for me to work through you, you've got to really kind of unblock 486 00:23:49.000 --> 00:23:53.000 and get healed from some things that you haven't dealt with. 487 00:23:53.000 --> 00:23:57.000 And that began kind of a negotiation on my side with Him, and that is, 488 00:23:57.000 --> 00:24:00.000 all right, God, I'm all in. I'll work with you on this. 489 00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:07.000 And fully laid everything down, probably the deepest place of repentance and confession I've ever experienced 490 00:24:07.000 --> 00:24:12.000 at that time in my life of really just wanting to come open-handed. 491 00:24:12.000 --> 00:24:18.000 And then fast forward two years later, so now five years ago, God's like, well, we're not done. 492 00:24:18.000 --> 00:24:23.000 Now we need to take this as to its impact in your immediate family and around people around you. 493 00:24:23.000 --> 00:24:28.000 And I really want to deal with maybe some broken areas in your life and heart that you've not dealt with. 494 00:24:28.000 --> 00:24:33.000 And it was a big risk because I could see where, you know, 495 00:24:33.000 --> 00:24:38.000 the discovery and disclosure of these things that had happened and I had done in my past, 496 00:24:38.000 --> 00:24:44.000 you know, could wreck my future here, could wreck my marriage, my family. 497 00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:46.000 It could really bring things down. 498 00:24:46.000 --> 00:24:49.000 And God just offered the sweet invitation. 499 00:24:49.000 --> 00:24:55.000 I just can remember Him so consistently in the sweet ways that He does and deals with us. 500 00:24:55.000 --> 00:25:00.000 It's just, if you'll trust me, if you'll just trust me, like what I write, what I say is true. 501 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.400 it's true for you. You believed it's true for others, but now you need to trust 502 00:25:04.400 --> 00:25:10.200 and believe it's true for you too. And I stepped into that and I came to you, 503 00:25:10.200 --> 00:25:14.400 shared with you what was on my heart and where God was leading me and the work 504 00:25:14.400 --> 00:25:20.760 that I needed to do. And you were very gracious, you were very intentional with 505 00:25:20.760 --> 00:25:26.760 us in that time. And then I shared with Mandy the work that I needed to do and 506 00:25:26.760 --> 00:25:29.760 the impact that it was gonna have on our relationship and the work that we were 507 00:25:29.760 --> 00:25:35.880 gonna have to do together to recover, to heal, and God in his sweet ways. And my 508 00:25:35.880 --> 00:25:41.840 wife is dynamic. She's awesome. We talk about being a worshiper warrior to the 509 00:25:41.840 --> 00:25:48.040 men, but in so many ways it's not exclusive to the masculine gender. 510 00:25:48.040 --> 00:25:52.520 I mean, I see her model that every day of her life. She's a warrior, she's a, 511 00:25:52.520 --> 00:25:57.680 she works for our family, and she's a worshiper of Jesus. And just because of 512 00:25:57.680 --> 00:26:03.160 that, I mean, I can't stress enough that because of my awesome life choice, and 513 00:26:03.160 --> 00:26:08.200 she accepted the task to be my spouse and bride, that we had a, we had a journey 514 00:26:08.200 --> 00:26:13.680 together with the Holy Spirit. And from that place, deep healing, deep restoration, 515 00:26:13.680 --> 00:26:18.320 a love that I didn't even know I could experience this side of eternity. God 516 00:26:18.320 --> 00:26:22.440 manifesting his love through her and through blood-stained allies like 517 00:26:22.440 --> 00:26:27.080 yourself, you know, coming along and helping that restoration process and 518 00:26:27.080 --> 00:26:34.600 kind of, yeah, becoming wholehearted, as we say. Yeah. What do you think happened in 519 00:26:34.600 --> 00:26:41.840 that initial stage where you had to come clean with Mandy and you also had to come 520 00:26:41.840 --> 00:26:47.320 clean with me? How long do you think it was, explain to me how long you think it 521 00:26:47.320 --> 00:26:54.600 was where you began to not be thinking about it every single day? You feel like 522 00:26:54.600 --> 00:26:59.160 you'd gotten to maybe a place of healing? Well, we jumped in and were very 523 00:26:59.160 --> 00:27:04.200 intentional right out of the gates with, I think, reforming new habits, new 524 00:27:04.200 --> 00:27:08.840 processes. We talk about building neuropathways, new grooves in the mind. 525 00:27:08.840 --> 00:27:14.320 All that was happening simultaneously. God doing his miraculous work in the way 526 00:27:14.320 --> 00:27:18.480 that he's built us physiologically and experiencing that firsthand. It's amazing. 527 00:27:18.480 --> 00:27:25.680 I would say probably that there was a pretty tumultuous six months. And then 528 00:27:25.680 --> 00:27:28.560 light at the end of the tunnel started to increase. The distance to the end of the 529 00:27:28.560 --> 00:27:34.840 tunnel shortened. And I would say, you know, within 18 months, we had put down a 530 00:27:34.840 --> 00:27:39.440 very...we'd done a lot of hard work to get to that place. And it was about a year and 531 00:27:39.440 --> 00:27:44.880 a half after everything came out and the work that had started to...well, the way I 532 00:27:44.880 --> 00:27:48.000 like to think about it, actually, I'll reframe it this way, kind of had to leave 533 00:27:48.000 --> 00:27:53.400 that field and get fresh soil and start putting seed into the new soil of our 534 00:27:53.400 --> 00:27:57.720 life, of our marriage, of our relationships. And it took about 18 months 535 00:27:57.720 --> 00:28:04.720 before some of the harvest came. So Ryan, what would you say has been the most 536 00:28:04.720 --> 00:28:11.360 important thing that you've tried to bring into your marriage that's kept it 537 00:28:11.360 --> 00:28:16.320 together, enable you to make it? Because in my opinion, you've got a very 538 00:28:16.320 --> 00:28:23.120 victorious, a joy-filled marriage. You guys do. You're a great witness to everybody 539 00:28:23.120 --> 00:28:28.160 that meets you in the whole church, that you have that. What's been the key to that, 540 00:28:28.160 --> 00:28:34.080 especially going through this deep kind of valley of the shadow of death? 541 00:28:34.960 --> 00:28:40.960 It speaks, I think, to God's heart for all of us that if we're willing to enter in 542 00:28:40.960 --> 00:28:47.160 open-handed...and I mean, it's terrifying. It's terrifying. Like to think back, I can 543 00:28:47.160 --> 00:28:52.400 still touch the hot iron of emotion and the fear of what a reality could look like. 544 00:28:52.400 --> 00:28:57.680 And projecting an outcome or predicting an outcome, that was in my mind, that was the 545 00:28:57.680 --> 00:29:03.280 flesh man-made outcome and what God's outcome is. And thank you. I agree with you 546 00:29:03.280 --> 00:29:09.920 just God's generous love, capacity to restore, resurrect. I think we both 547 00:29:09.920 --> 00:29:16.240 recognize, Mandy and I today, that we have first and foremost a complete and total 548 00:29:16.240 --> 00:29:21.200 reliance on Jesus, our relationship, our connection to Him. And from that, He's the 549 00:29:21.200 --> 00:29:27.360 headwaters from everything else that flows. And even to the place where we've tried to 550 00:29:27.360 --> 00:29:32.680 replace Him with each other, we can't put each other on pedestals. Sometimes I've 551 00:29:32.680 --> 00:29:37.480 tried to sit in God's seat in her life and vice versa. And I think there's awareness 552 00:29:37.480 --> 00:29:43.000 around that, just to say...and we've both done that too. Just post-healing, God, baby, 553 00:29:43.000 --> 00:29:47.320 I'm taking a place in your life right now that I think is only designed for Jesus. And 554 00:29:48.840 --> 00:29:54.920 lovingly and kindly encouraging each other where we need restored, we need refreshed. 555 00:29:54.920 --> 00:29:57.320 Even post all the healing where we just need to be... 556 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.000 moments of refreshment and I think it's awareness around that and just us being consistent and we're 557 00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:12.000 just very we're very intertwined. I think probably grabbing a hold of this oneness concept that the 558 00:30:12.000 --> 00:30:17.520 scriptures say that we cleave from our families of origin and we become one flesh and it's this 559 00:30:17.520 --> 00:30:24.320 discovery of how we've continued to intertwine our oneness over the last five years. She's my best 560 00:30:24.320 --> 00:30:31.200 friend. She's my primary blood-stained ally. I rely on her. I trust her judgment, her discretion, 561 00:30:31.200 --> 00:30:37.360 her discernment. It's such a resource and a gift and that I'm trying to be aware of and I think 562 00:30:37.360 --> 00:30:43.360 you've stated this in a previous podcast. It's just where we step in and enter our bride's worlds 563 00:30:43.920 --> 00:30:48.160 and risking that. That's right. And so I think it's just it's awesome. It could be fearful and 564 00:30:48.160 --> 00:30:53.920 intimidating for guys initially but once you get the rhythm and the muscle memory, the beauty that's 565 00:30:53.920 --> 00:31:00.640 unlocked, the resources, the relationship, it's amazing. Well Ryan, I know you guys have some 566 00:31:00.640 --> 00:31:06.640 some rituals that you've developed as a result of some of these dark times. What are a few 567 00:31:06.640 --> 00:31:11.760 of those rituals that would be helpful to other married couples? There is something that's unlocked 568 00:31:11.760 --> 00:31:18.240 in the kingdom when we are unified in pursuing the kingdom of God in the areas of specifically 569 00:31:18.240 --> 00:31:24.400 prayer. Fasting's been amazing. We've had moments and periods where we fasted together for the same 570 00:31:24.400 --> 00:31:30.720 purposes and goals. Those have just been precious. Really seeing God's kingdom move in our lives, 571 00:31:30.720 --> 00:31:36.880 bring us answers. That's been huge. I can't stress that enough. And then worship. I mean we try to 572 00:31:36.880 --> 00:31:44.160 bring in things that we enjoy where we can kind of experience God's kingdom in our lives with the 573 00:31:44.160 --> 00:31:49.040 area of worship. And so we call it Soaking Saturdays and we invite the family down and 574 00:31:49.040 --> 00:31:54.560 there's no agenda. We just play. We ask the family to add songs to playlists and we'll just kind of 575 00:31:54.560 --> 00:31:59.040 go and leave it open-handed. If there's some prayer requests at the end, that's great. But really just 576 00:31:59.040 --> 00:32:05.120 setting the table to come and kind of Sabbath with God and just be restored through worship. 577 00:32:05.760 --> 00:32:10.400 There's that and then trying to be as intentional as we can going through the scriptures together. 578 00:32:10.400 --> 00:32:14.640 I mean I think Mandy and I for the last five years have always been in at least one Bible 579 00:32:14.640 --> 00:32:21.840 study together, if not a couple going on with the kids, each other, and other people. So you can't 580 00:32:21.840 --> 00:32:27.920 stress enough and you have a great statistic on couples that read the word of God together and 581 00:32:27.920 --> 00:32:32.560 how that divorce proofs your marriage. And I can't stress that. That's absolutely accurate. It's 582 00:32:32.560 --> 00:32:38.720 amazing the glue that holds us together in studying God's word as husband and wife. Amen. 583 00:32:39.440 --> 00:32:44.800 So men and women, there was a survey done a number of years ago that found that when a couple reads 584 00:32:44.800 --> 00:32:50.720 the Bible together and prays together, their chance of divorce is one in 1019. So it's 585 00:32:50.720 --> 00:32:58.000 virtually non-existent. Less than 1% get divorced. And with the high rates of divorce that we see, 586 00:32:58.000 --> 00:33:04.240 even in the church, it's obvious that couples are not doing that. So you guys really intentionally 587 00:33:04.240 --> 00:33:09.440 made that happen. It's just, it's one of those new, those new grooves. It's a new neuropathway 588 00:33:09.440 --> 00:33:14.880 that we're both finding together. And it's been awesome to the point where I think God's put in 589 00:33:14.880 --> 00:33:18.880 our hearts that what he's given us is no longer, it's not ours to keep. We want to give it away. 590 00:33:18.880 --> 00:33:23.680 We want to encourage marriages. If they're hurting, if they're struggling, man, like our 591 00:33:23.680 --> 00:33:29.520 story is not unique. It's unique in that we both accept it and we're obedient to God. But if we 592 00:33:29.520 --> 00:33:35.440 take that posture, I think every marriage can discover restoration, healing, vibrant life 593 00:33:35.440 --> 00:33:43.920 together. Amen to that. That's so awesome. How has parenting been affected by being in the pastorate? 594 00:33:44.480 --> 00:33:50.560 So you're in the pastorate now, now Mandy's been your assistant for a number of years. She hasn't 595 00:33:50.560 --> 00:33:56.080 been an assistant to me, but she has been to you. So you guys, not in the first couple of years, 596 00:33:56.080 --> 00:34:00.640 I don't think, I don't think we could afford it, but when we could, it seems like Mandy's 597 00:34:00.640 --> 00:34:05.680 been by your side. I know Liz has been by my side, but you guys have little kids. We don't, 598 00:34:05.680 --> 00:34:11.520 our kids pretty much out of the house, Charity's there, but she's, she's very self-sufficient. 599 00:34:11.520 --> 00:34:18.400 She's 19, but you've got little ones that are very dependent on you. So for all those future 600 00:34:18.400 --> 00:34:24.080 leaders, as well as current leaders that are in the church, how have you and Mandy just flown 601 00:34:24.080 --> 00:34:30.960 that plane with being parents, but also pastoral leaders? Absolutely. No, that's a good question. 602 00:34:32.480 --> 00:34:37.360 While it was unique and new, I don't think, you know, until you experience it, but there is this 603 00:34:37.360 --> 00:34:44.400 kind of fishbowl experience that you enter into with a life of public service, so to speak. I 604 00:34:44.400 --> 00:34:51.360 think that one thing that we've been intentional with in the last couple of years, more giving 605 00:34:51.360 --> 00:34:56.639 more intentionality, is really trying to guard family time. Now we get older kids and they're 606 00:34:56.639 --> 00:34:59.360 wanting to spread their wings too and expand their social circles, but 607 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.260 Again, prioritizing stuff like Soaking Saturdays, you know, we really are pretty intentional 608 00:35:05.260 --> 00:35:09.220 with family trips, family time together. 609 00:35:09.220 --> 00:35:14.940 We reserve Friday nights at the house for just fun activities and hangout. 610 00:35:14.940 --> 00:35:16.380 And I think that's huge. 611 00:35:16.380 --> 00:35:21.420 Mandy's been so great about choosing the next right curriculum with homeschool. 612 00:35:21.420 --> 00:35:25.020 You know, currently we're using a program called a Becca and seeing our kids really 613 00:35:25.020 --> 00:35:26.800 flourish in that. 614 00:35:26.800 --> 00:35:33.420 But I think as parents, whether you're inside full-time ministry or outside, the responsibility 615 00:35:33.420 --> 00:35:36.240 and stewardship of our children is our responsibility. 616 00:35:36.240 --> 00:35:40.960 And I think that oftentimes culture currently is placing that responsibility outside the 617 00:35:40.960 --> 00:35:41.960 home. 618 00:35:41.960 --> 00:35:47.120 So I think having the mission of our home is our church and it's our first mission 619 00:35:47.120 --> 00:35:49.160 field and we're going to pour into our kids. 620 00:35:49.160 --> 00:35:52.240 We're going to try and teach them biblical truths. 621 00:35:52.240 --> 00:35:55.440 We're going to model that in relationship with each other and encourage them in the 622 00:35:55.440 --> 00:35:57.600 same ways. 623 00:35:57.600 --> 00:36:03.400 And I mean, I know that's probably kind of maybe the expected response of a pastor, but 624 00:36:03.400 --> 00:36:08.800 I would say that we, we really do take it serious that, you know, they might not be 625 00:36:08.800 --> 00:36:12.920 the best at long division, but you know, if they know the word of God and the scriptures 626 00:36:12.920 --> 00:36:16.400 are in their heart, then I trust everything else is going to fall into place. 627 00:36:16.400 --> 00:36:25.080 Well, I think that the part that is most remarkable about you guys is that we, we observe with 628 00:36:25.240 --> 00:36:29.760 you strong work ethic, very hardworking. 629 00:36:29.760 --> 00:36:35.960 I've never felt like you take advantage of my generosity if I'm going to extend it on 630 00:36:35.960 --> 00:36:37.200 any situation. 631 00:36:37.200 --> 00:36:42.680 Whereas I know some pastors and staff in the past at other churches have, you know, they 632 00:36:42.680 --> 00:36:50.160 feel like sometimes that they have pastors or staff that take advantage of some of the 633 00:36:50.160 --> 00:36:54.760 flexibility of the church and aren't there enough, aren't working hard enough. 634 00:36:54.760 --> 00:36:58.960 And that's never been true of you or Mandy. 635 00:36:58.960 --> 00:37:04.840 So I feel blessed to, you know, have you next to me cause I always felt like you keep that. 636 00:37:04.840 --> 00:37:10.120 And then you've, you know, you've like yesterday, I mean, yesterday was kind of a hard day for 637 00:37:10.120 --> 00:37:15.480 me and I was going through a lot of emotional stuff and it was just hard. 638 00:37:15.480 --> 00:37:21.480 And you said, you know, I don't, why don't you think about reevaluating your schedule 639 00:37:21.480 --> 00:37:26.280 tonight with that other thing that you have, when I literally hadn't even thought about 640 00:37:26.280 --> 00:37:27.280 it till you said it. 641 00:37:27.280 --> 00:37:33.000 And I went, Oh yeah, that's exactly the perspective that I needed to hear. 642 00:37:33.000 --> 00:37:38.320 So I canceled that event and went home to be with Liz and then everything that came 643 00:37:38.320 --> 00:37:42.360 down, it was, it was perfect because she needed me to be there. 644 00:37:42.360 --> 00:37:43.360 Amen. 645 00:37:43.360 --> 00:37:44.360 But that's why we need each other. 646 00:37:44.360 --> 00:37:45.360 Right? 647 00:37:45.360 --> 00:37:46.360 That's why we need it. 648 00:37:46.360 --> 00:37:47.360 We need a teammate. 649 00:37:47.360 --> 00:37:48.360 Yeah. 650 00:37:48.360 --> 00:37:50.120 We need a, we need friends, bloodstained allies. 651 00:37:51.120 --> 00:37:55.280 Well, I've appreciated, you know, the pace and ethic that you set here too. 652 00:37:55.280 --> 00:38:02.560 I mean, like I said, it'd be hard for me to imagine following anybody else because one, 653 00:38:02.560 --> 00:38:08.280 your intentionality and leadership, the way you pastor, the way you coach, it's, it's 654 00:38:08.280 --> 00:38:16.160 a joy to serve God's kingdom under that umbrella and just what's, what God has been building 655 00:38:16.160 --> 00:38:22.280 over the last 10 years at the road with just the development of the staff, uh, processes. 656 00:38:22.280 --> 00:38:26.720 Um, I've, I've joked about kind of the Pinocchio story, like growing, like we're a real boy 657 00:38:26.720 --> 00:38:31.200 because we were building the plane as we flew it for a while, right? 658 00:38:31.200 --> 00:38:32.200 Just being tenants. 659 00:38:32.200 --> 00:38:33.200 Totally. 660 00:38:33.200 --> 00:38:34.200 Absolutely true. 661 00:38:34.200 --> 00:38:35.200 And then just how, yeah. 662 00:38:35.200 --> 00:38:41.480 I mean, the covenant of harmony part, it's just a whole nother podcast on that. 663 00:38:42.480 --> 00:38:49.320 What we do in the covenant of harmony at the road is we require all of our staff to have 664 00:38:49.320 --> 00:38:57.000 to follow Matthew 18 in relation to working through any issues, any kind of, um, relational 665 00:38:57.000 --> 00:39:02.200 problems, theological problems, whatever it might be to go to the person and talk about 666 00:39:02.200 --> 00:39:03.200 it. 667 00:39:03.200 --> 00:39:07.360 And we have some processes and procedures that people use. 668 00:39:07.360 --> 00:39:14.740 And that was because of some past stuff where we felt it was kind of unfair. 669 00:39:14.740 --> 00:39:21.160 So we decided to institute that here at the road to really help people not only work through 670 00:39:21.160 --> 00:39:27.920 problems that they might have, which is the immediate issue, but then it's also training 671 00:39:27.920 --> 00:39:36.400 them to be a problem solver in sideway, you know, side angle, sideway relationships where 672 00:39:36.920 --> 00:39:40.160 a lot of times we just run away and we don't want to deal with it. 673 00:39:40.160 --> 00:39:41.160 That's right. 674 00:39:41.160 --> 00:39:42.160 Especially in marriage. 675 00:39:42.160 --> 00:39:43.160 We do it. 676 00:39:43.160 --> 00:39:44.160 Guys do it all the time. 677 00:39:44.160 --> 00:39:45.160 Whether you're Christian or not. 678 00:39:45.160 --> 00:39:47.800 I mean, you'd be saved and going to heaven and you still have bad relationships. 679 00:39:47.800 --> 00:39:52.640 I like to say that just because you got saved one day, it doesn't mean you're good at math. 680 00:39:52.640 --> 00:39:54.520 So cancel culture doesn't help, right? 681 00:39:54.520 --> 00:39:55.520 Right. 682 00:39:55.520 --> 00:39:56.520 It doesn't. 683 00:39:56.520 --> 00:39:59.400 You got like ghosting is a thing now where people just dip if it's hard and they don't 684 00:39:59.400 --> 00:40:00.040 want to confront. 685 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.880 Yeah, what's all that? I mean, like, I've seen that with my own kids, you know, 686 00:40:04.880 --> 00:40:10.000 like they get mad at each other, or they get mad at me. And then it's like, they don't want to talk 687 00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:17.120 to you for like a week or two or a month or two or something. It's like, I mean, it's a baby boomer, 688 00:40:17.120 --> 00:40:22.800 okay? You're not a baby boomer, but I am. But we just didn't blame people. I don't know, in my 689 00:40:22.800 --> 00:40:29.360 generation, I mean, we got blamers. It goes with the fall. Eve and Adam blamed each other. So I 690 00:40:29.360 --> 00:40:36.240 know it just goes with being human. But it does seem that the younger generation now, really, 691 00:40:36.240 --> 00:40:41.680 maybe through psychology that they hear, you know, kind of, I don't know, junior psychologists that 692 00:40:41.680 --> 00:40:47.920 are out there doing podcasts, two counselors, whatever. Sure. It's like you're always a victim, 693 00:40:47.920 --> 00:40:52.320 right? Seems like a lot of victimology going on. Yeah, I've seen it even transcend. I don't know 694 00:40:52.320 --> 00:40:58.320 that we can even target one specific age group anymore, because I feel like it's threaded through 695 00:40:59.040 --> 00:41:05.360 and more people are picking up on it. It's not even gender specific anymore. It seems like there's 696 00:41:05.360 --> 00:41:14.080 permission to avoid ownership and find your place in the victimology of the latter of how victimized 697 00:41:14.080 --> 00:41:18.800 have you been? And then that's your size of the trophy you get. Yeah. And it's kind of like, 698 00:41:18.800 --> 00:41:24.160 well, how many right-handed people do you have on staff? You know, you like right-handed people 699 00:41:24.160 --> 00:41:29.440 better than left-handed people or something. And so we're going to have a lawsuit against you 700 00:41:29.440 --> 00:41:35.120 because you don't have the quota of left-handed people that fits the percentage in the culture. 701 00:41:35.920 --> 00:41:41.680 So it's crazy. Well, conflict is uncomfortable. I love the covenant of harmony and the processes. 702 00:41:41.680 --> 00:41:46.480 And you're right. I mean, that could be its own podcast altogether, but pressing in and challenging 703 00:41:46.480 --> 00:41:52.640 at every stage of life, how do we healthfully, how do we with health approach conflict 704 00:41:53.680 --> 00:41:58.400 for the objective of restoration of the relationship and even growth in ourselves? 705 00:41:58.960 --> 00:42:02.800 And when it's done and modeled, when it's modeled and done God's way, as he writes in the scriptures 706 00:42:02.800 --> 00:42:09.280 of Matthew 18, growth happens in all of us and we mature. And I like the idea of, you know, 707 00:42:09.280 --> 00:42:15.920 we're only ever as mature spiritually as we are emotionally mature. And so those things, 708 00:42:15.920 --> 00:42:19.760 there's a correlation between both of those. And I think that in the process of conflict 709 00:42:19.760 --> 00:42:25.920 resolution under the umbrella rubric of covenant of harmony, both of those are leveling up at the 710 00:42:25.920 --> 00:42:31.520 same time. We're growing emotionally and we're growing spiritually in our maturity. And it's 711 00:42:31.520 --> 00:42:37.360 uncomfortable, but I think when it's done the right way and in a healthy way, it honors God. 712 00:42:37.360 --> 00:42:41.520 And then we grow and benefit and the relationships healed. So I'm a big proponent of it. 713 00:42:41.600 --> 00:42:46.480 And I don't do it perfect. And just for you guys out there listening to this, Ryan and I've had to 714 00:42:46.480 --> 00:42:52.640 do that too. I mean, we've had, I don't know, probably a dozen times over 10 years where 715 00:42:53.520 --> 00:42:59.520 Ryan comes to me because maybe something I said or didn't say or something I did or didn't do 716 00:43:00.320 --> 00:43:06.960 that I needed to hear and I didn't want to hear it. But I did because I trust Ryan and then we 717 00:43:06.960 --> 00:43:13.920 work it out and then I try to grow, you know, and so. And conversely is true. There's aspects of, 718 00:43:14.480 --> 00:43:19.840 you know, um, you know, areas of my life, my, my work life and stuff where you've spoken into it 719 00:43:19.840 --> 00:43:24.160 and things that I need to hear and grow too. And, uh, it's good short accounts kind of, right? 720 00:43:24.160 --> 00:43:29.680 Yeah, that's right. Yep. When we go, when we go hunting together or we're fishing together, 721 00:43:29.680 --> 00:43:36.560 whatever, um, we joke a lot, but when we're at work, you know, we have a lot of fun at work. 722 00:43:36.560 --> 00:43:42.160 There's no doubt about that. We laugh a lot there too. And, uh, the time to be serious and the time 723 00:43:42.160 --> 00:43:49.040 to be funny and time to cry, time to weep, time to ask for forgiveness has sort of characterized 724 00:43:49.040 --> 00:43:56.480 our life. And, uh, so I love working with you, Ryan, looking forward to another decade, maybe 725 00:43:56.480 --> 00:44:02.720 or two together with you and Mandy, Liz and I love you guys so much. And you're always there for us. 726 00:44:02.720 --> 00:44:06.800 And hopefully we're always there for you. Definitely appreciate it. It's mutual brother. 727 00:44:06.800 --> 00:44:12.800 And, uh, just the invitation to join you on a road less traveled and pursue the kingdom of God 728 00:44:12.800 --> 00:44:17.040 for a revolution that he'd want to bring and manifest for our time and place in his history 729 00:44:17.040 --> 00:44:22.320 is just, it's exciting to be here. It is. It's really cool. So, so thanks everybody for listening. 730 00:44:22.320 --> 00:44:28.480 And this is Ryan Steyer. This is his life. This is who he is. And we have a lot of fun together. 731 00:44:28.480 --> 00:44:37.840 Amen, brother. Thank you. God bless you guys. Thanks for tuning in.