WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:08.000 All right. Welcome, ladies, to your Phase 2 1 o'clock check-in. Today is New Year's 2 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:15.120 Eve of 2024. We're getting ready for our new next year. It's going to be exciting. Got 3 00:00:15.120 --> 00:00:23.280 lots of stuff planned for y'all in this community, which is super exciting. But yes, we are only 4 00:00:23.280 --> 00:00:30.720 doing the 1 o'clock call today, because I'm sure lots of people have plans to go out, 5 00:00:30.720 --> 00:00:35.640 getting out and about in your community, spending time with family and friends. It's always 6 00:00:35.640 --> 00:00:41.080 really, really good. So I'm excited to be here with y'all today. I wasn't here last 7 00:00:41.080 --> 00:00:47.680 week. It was Christmas Eve, and Ebony so graciously offered to take the 1 o'clock last week since 8 00:00:47.680 --> 00:00:52.440 we weren't doing the evening call. So we tag-teamed the two holidays. And so I was 9 00:00:52.440 --> 00:00:58.040 very thankful and blessed for her to be able to come to the 1 o'clock, which was probably 10 00:00:58.040 --> 00:01:02.800 a treat for some of you that do typically come on the 1 o'clock and don't have time 11 00:01:02.800 --> 00:01:12.120 with her. So I hope that was a blessing for you all. I always love hearing her coaching 12 00:01:12.120 --> 00:01:17.920 and her feedback. She always just brings such a spirit of excitement and joy and just 13 00:01:17.920 --> 00:01:22.960 like wisdom. I just always really appreciate her and what she brings to our community. 14 00:01:22.960 --> 00:01:30.040 All right. So welcome to anybody that is new to Phase 2. So Crystal, you are new. Welcome. 15 00:01:30.040 --> 00:01:34.600 We're so glad to have you here. Is there anybody else that's new to Phase 2? Just go ahead 16 00:01:34.600 --> 00:01:40.040 and raise your avatar hand. Colette, you are new to Phase 2. I see a couple people that 17 00:01:40.040 --> 00:01:44.800 are not on camera. I do always ask those of you that are used to my 1 o'clock call, 18 00:01:44.800 --> 00:01:50.240 I usually am calling y'all out to come on camera. This is the way we want to have you 19 00:01:50.240 --> 00:01:54.880 come out of hiding, have connection. Thank you, Priscilla. Thank you. Is it Jeannie? 20 00:01:54.880 --> 00:02:00.120 Did I pronounce your name right? Okay, good. That's another thing y'all learn about me 21 00:02:00.120 --> 00:02:06.160 is sometimes I'm a butcher of names. Like I am like phonetically challenged. And so 22 00:02:06.160 --> 00:02:12.240 that was always a hard thing when I was teaching because I was like the first day I was like, 23 00:02:12.240 --> 00:02:19.880 you know, kids were like, that's not my name. Like, oh my goodness. So I apologize. Just 24 00:02:19.880 --> 00:02:25.160 please feel free to correct me if I call you by the wrong name or I mispronounce names. 25 00:02:25.160 --> 00:02:31.520 But yes, so Crystal and Colette, you're new to Phase 2. It's so glad to have you here. 26 00:02:32.080 --> 00:02:38.560 So yes, you don't see any of the heart calls recorded for listening in the app. So Crystal, 27 00:02:38.560 --> 00:02:43.280 what do you mean? Are you talking about Phase 1 heart calls, like your heart work calls? Are you 28 00:02:43.280 --> 00:02:50.960 talking about our replays here in Phase 2? Okay, so what I'll ask you to do is sometimes it's 29 00:02:50.960 --> 00:02:57.920 making sure that you have the newest updated version of our app. So my, I have an iPhone 30 00:02:57.920 --> 00:03:04.320 and I have mine set to have my apps automatically update. If you don't, you'll have to go in your 31 00:03:04.320 --> 00:03:10.560 settings and make sure. I think Holly, who I just saw on the call, she had to go in there and update 32 00:03:10.560 --> 00:03:15.520 her app. And then even, and I gave her advice of sometimes it's shutting your phone down 33 00:03:16.160 --> 00:03:21.440 and then restarting it because ladies, our phones are like computers. I don't know about you all, 34 00:03:21.440 --> 00:03:26.480 but my like laptops and things like that, if I have them on for long periods of time and I don't 35 00:03:26.480 --> 00:03:32.960 shut them down properly, they drag and they run really slow. So the same thing is it happens with 36 00:03:32.960 --> 00:03:37.120 our phones too. So I noticed that sometimes when I'm getting more glitches in my app, 37 00:03:37.840 --> 00:03:43.200 then I just shut my phone down for like 10 to 20 seconds and I turn it back on. And a lot of times 38 00:03:43.200 --> 00:03:47.760 that will fix the problem as long as I have the updated version of the app. So Crystal, I will 39 00:03:47.760 --> 00:03:53.520 encourage you to do that. So yeah, that you have all those replays. Are you able to see your training 40 00:03:53.520 --> 00:04:00.560 videos? So those are the five videos that we have. Yes, I can see the training videos and I've done 41 00:04:00.560 --> 00:04:04.240 all the other things that you said to me because I leave my phone off for eight hours at night and 42 00:04:04.240 --> 00:04:08.720 my app is updated. So I still don't see those. Okay. All right. The next thing that I'll have 43 00:04:08.720 --> 00:04:15.280 you do is then in the app, there is a contact support. Okay. So if you can generate an email 44 00:04:15.280 --> 00:04:22.160 to them and let them know, screenshot how you're not seeing those videos, that always helps them 45 00:04:22.160 --> 00:04:28.640 out. So send that to support and then they can kind of guide and direct. I do my best to 46 00:04:28.640 --> 00:04:34.160 troubleshoot y'all with like the basics, but if it's something like bigger than it goes, it goes 47 00:04:34.160 --> 00:04:42.000 to the support team. So hopefully that will help so we can get you to those replays. Okay. So again, 48 00:04:42.000 --> 00:04:46.720 so that will just kind of lead into some of my housekeeping items that I want to discuss with 49 00:04:46.720 --> 00:04:52.480 you ladies today is, so yeah, make sure if you're new, make sure that you're navigating that app, 50 00:04:52.480 --> 00:04:57.200 you're clicking on the tabs, you know where to find things. Don't forget about the affiliate 51 00:04:57.200 --> 00:05:00.000 link. It's under the resource tabs. I know it could 52 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:03.520 couple ladies had posted in our community 53 00:05:03.520 --> 00:05:06.680 about wanting to refer some men to our community. 54 00:05:06.680 --> 00:05:09.120 And so we have this affiliate link 55 00:05:09.120 --> 00:05:11.240 in the resource tab that you set up. 56 00:05:11.240 --> 00:05:15.300 And anytime that you're discussing with friends and family, 57 00:05:15.300 --> 00:05:17.680 whether it's men or women about this community 58 00:05:17.680 --> 00:05:19.680 and what great things are happening 59 00:05:19.680 --> 00:05:22.120 and you want them to be on board and they're single 60 00:05:22.120 --> 00:05:24.180 and they want, maybe they need some heart healing, 61 00:05:24.180 --> 00:05:28.000 whatever that is, you can send them a link. 62 00:05:28.040 --> 00:05:32.560 And if they sign up using your link, 63 00:05:32.560 --> 00:05:36.000 then you get $75. 64 00:05:36.000 --> 00:05:37.800 So it's like a referral program. 65 00:05:37.800 --> 00:05:40.680 So it's bringing more singles into our community. 66 00:05:40.680 --> 00:05:41.600 We always say, you know, 67 00:05:41.600 --> 00:05:44.640 what you make happen for others, God makes happen for you. 68 00:05:44.640 --> 00:05:47.680 We're all about community-based matchmaking. 69 00:05:47.680 --> 00:05:50.160 So we want to bring, you know, 70 00:05:50.160 --> 00:05:53.520 like-minded individuals into our community 71 00:05:53.520 --> 00:05:55.960 and that happens with word of mouth. 72 00:05:55.960 --> 00:05:58.180 So why not get paid for it, ladies? 73 00:05:58.180 --> 00:06:01.160 Like put some $75 in your pocket, okay? 74 00:06:01.160 --> 00:06:03.320 So make sure that you're checking that link out. 75 00:06:03.320 --> 00:06:05.600 It's under the resource tab. 76 00:06:05.600 --> 00:06:08.840 A couple other things to go over housekeeping-wise 77 00:06:08.840 --> 00:06:11.520 is when y'all are creating posts, 78 00:06:11.520 --> 00:06:16.400 we ask that you refrain from advice giving and coaching. 79 00:06:16.400 --> 00:06:19.280 So I know like when I was in the program, 80 00:06:19.280 --> 00:06:22.280 that was hard because I was just naturally a teacher. 81 00:06:22.280 --> 00:06:25.140 So Debra, you probably understand 82 00:06:25.140 --> 00:06:26.700 as well as you being a teacher 83 00:06:26.700 --> 00:06:30.980 is it's easy for us to put our teaching hats, 84 00:06:30.980 --> 00:06:33.460 our coaching hats, maybe if you're a therapist 85 00:06:33.460 --> 00:06:36.200 or, you know, you just have a gift, 86 00:06:36.200 --> 00:06:37.860 you know, God's given you that gift. 87 00:06:37.860 --> 00:06:40.740 And so you operate that in that daily. 88 00:06:40.740 --> 00:06:42.440 Maybe you're a mother. 89 00:06:42.440 --> 00:06:44.780 And so you kind of have that mothering hat like that. 90 00:06:44.780 --> 00:06:47.740 Sometimes I have to take my mother hat off 91 00:06:47.740 --> 00:06:51.820 in this community because I'm not mothering my children. 92 00:06:51.820 --> 00:06:56.300 I'm, you know, I'm coaching you ladies as grown women. 93 00:06:56.300 --> 00:07:00.940 And so we have to be able to remove those hats 94 00:07:00.940 --> 00:07:02.300 and refrain from coaching. 95 00:07:02.300 --> 00:07:06.300 And we do that because it's really a service for you all. 96 00:07:06.300 --> 00:07:11.300 This is your space to be able to process, grow, heal. 97 00:07:12.460 --> 00:07:17.140 And so instead of you feeling this need to coach and teach, 98 00:07:17.140 --> 00:07:18.940 we want you to receive. 99 00:07:18.940 --> 00:07:20.820 That's that feminine spirit. 100 00:07:20.820 --> 00:07:24.260 It's that divine feminine is a spirit that receives. 101 00:07:24.260 --> 00:07:26.380 And so we really want you ladies practicing 102 00:07:26.380 --> 00:07:31.300 and operating in that, in this community, okay? 103 00:07:31.300 --> 00:07:35.020 So just, and again, if we do see, you know, 104 00:07:35.020 --> 00:07:36.980 posts where it's like you're, 105 00:07:36.980 --> 00:07:39.460 so for example, that would look like, 106 00:07:39.460 --> 00:07:40.860 you know, we come in and we're like, 107 00:07:40.860 --> 00:07:43.680 hey, God has me on this process 108 00:07:43.680 --> 00:07:45.380 and this is what I've been doing. 109 00:07:45.380 --> 00:07:48.260 You know, we all need to be aware of this 110 00:07:48.260 --> 00:07:51.260 and you all need to be careful to not do this. 111 00:07:51.260 --> 00:07:55.260 You see how it kind of shifted from what was working for you 112 00:07:55.260 --> 00:07:57.660 and then now you're telling the other ladies, 113 00:07:57.660 --> 00:08:00.140 you all need to do this too. 114 00:08:00.140 --> 00:08:03.420 We really want to remove from that, okay? 115 00:08:03.420 --> 00:08:04.840 So that would be an example. 116 00:08:04.840 --> 00:08:07.060 And I get it, like it can happen. 117 00:08:07.060 --> 00:08:09.780 If we see those things happening, 118 00:08:09.780 --> 00:08:13.700 we may have to remove a post or a video that you post 119 00:08:13.700 --> 00:08:15.320 or of whatnot, okay? 120 00:08:16.160 --> 00:08:19.760 So hopefully you all understand what I mean by that. 121 00:08:19.760 --> 00:08:22.160 Also, when you're creating posts and videos 122 00:08:22.160 --> 00:08:23.000 and things like that, 123 00:08:23.000 --> 00:08:26.160 we ask that you not link other ministries, 124 00:08:26.160 --> 00:08:30.120 authors, speakers, influencers, pastors. 125 00:08:30.120 --> 00:08:34.039 We just don't have the capacity to vet those out 126 00:08:34.039 --> 00:08:35.559 and their library of work. 127 00:08:35.559 --> 00:08:39.120 And we really want to make sure that we're, you know, 128 00:08:39.120 --> 00:08:41.919 sharing things that aligns with what we teach here 129 00:08:41.919 --> 00:08:43.480 at Last Year Single. 130 00:08:43.480 --> 00:08:46.520 And so there are a lot of great speakers out there 131 00:08:46.520 --> 00:08:48.760 and then it's like, you'll hear something really good 132 00:08:48.760 --> 00:08:50.320 and it sounds like it aligns with us, 133 00:08:50.320 --> 00:08:53.320 but then when you start watching and listening 134 00:08:53.320 --> 00:08:56.840 to more things that they post or things like of that nature, 135 00:08:56.840 --> 00:08:59.120 it might take a turn and it may not be 136 00:08:59.120 --> 00:09:00.860 with what things that we align. 137 00:09:00.860 --> 00:09:03.560 And we just don't want there to be any confusion 138 00:09:03.560 --> 00:09:05.240 because that's what the enemy will do. 139 00:09:05.240 --> 00:09:09.160 The enemy likes to distort and confuse things, okay? 140 00:09:09.160 --> 00:09:12.620 So it's just a way for us to protect the integrity 141 00:09:12.620 --> 00:09:15.900 of what we offer here in the community, okay? 142 00:09:15.900 --> 00:09:19.200 Another friendly reminder, just showing up in the group, 143 00:09:19.200 --> 00:09:22.980 okay, I wanna talk a little bit about that here a moment, 144 00:09:22.980 --> 00:09:24.660 it's kind of what I wanted to kind of teach on 145 00:09:24.660 --> 00:09:26.180 a little bit later. 146 00:09:26.180 --> 00:09:28.040 For those of you that are new, 147 00:09:28.040 --> 00:09:30.140 you've got one training video a week, 148 00:09:30.140 --> 00:09:33.220 we really ask that you pace that one a week, 149 00:09:33.220 --> 00:09:35.620 don't rush it, okay? 150 00:09:35.620 --> 00:09:39.900 It's all about a process and then coming into the community 151 00:09:39.900 --> 00:09:41.100 and sharing your takeaways 152 00:09:41.100 --> 00:09:42.900 and letting us know what's going on. 153 00:09:42.900 --> 00:09:44.380 There's five videos. 154 00:09:44.380 --> 00:09:47.760 So the minimum that you will be in this community 155 00:09:47.760 --> 00:09:49.900 is four to five weeks, okay? 156 00:09:49.900 --> 00:09:53.260 So we do ask that when you complete those five videos 157 00:09:53.260 --> 00:09:55.580 and you've been here for four to five weeks, 158 00:09:55.580 --> 00:09:57.540 if you're ready to move on to phase three, 159 00:09:57.540 --> 00:10:00.540 you would send an email to admin at JackieJorman.com. 160 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:05.840 Requesting phase three, but you'll always see us coaches asking. Hey, did you complete all the videos? 161 00:10:05.880 --> 00:10:12.720 Have you been here four or five weeks and have you been to some live calls? It's really important that y'all get engaged 162 00:10:13.000 --> 00:10:19.680 So again, I can I'll talk about that a little bit later. Make sure that you're connecting with your sisters here in community 163 00:10:19.880 --> 00:10:25.600 So why don't we I've done this on up on the call this last month. I didn't do it last week 164 00:10:25.600 --> 00:10:29.080 I don't know if Ebony was able to do it. I want you ladies 165 00:10:29.680 --> 00:10:31.520 Finding ways to connect with each other 166 00:10:31.520 --> 00:10:35.280 So I typically leave like two minutes right here at the beginning 167 00:10:35.680 --> 00:10:43.400 for you ladies to throw up your contact information in the chat and I want you to pull some of those names and 168 00:10:43.760 --> 00:10:47.960 Those contacts and I want to encourage you to be bold 169 00:10:48.400 --> 00:10:53.480 Step out of your comfort zone because some of you it will be it will be stepping out of your comfort zone getting to know 170 00:10:53.480 --> 00:10:55.480 somebody new and 171 00:10:56.160 --> 00:10:57.200 and 172 00:10:57.200 --> 00:10:59.200 Connect with someone here in the community 173 00:11:00.160 --> 00:11:03.640 Start building relationships here with your sisters here in community 174 00:11:04.360 --> 00:11:06.040 there's so 175 00:11:06.040 --> 00:11:09.480 Much fruit that can happen here ladies. I 176 00:11:11.200 --> 00:11:15.600 Was in this community so for those ladies that are new, I'm Carla Johnson 177 00:11:15.600 --> 00:11:20.800 I'm your face to coach here along with Ebony and Bethany pops in from time to time. I 178 00:11:21.440 --> 00:11:24.600 Was a student of Jackie's I joined her in 179 00:11:24.880 --> 00:11:31.120 2020 and I'm a success story, you know after two plus years a little over two years 180 00:11:31.720 --> 00:11:36.560 My husband and I were introduced by someone in this community 181 00:11:37.360 --> 00:11:39.360 she was on a 182 00:11:40.160 --> 00:11:46.320 Singles Facebook group Christian singles Facebook group or whatever. He had made a post. She had no idea who he was 183 00:11:46.960 --> 00:11:50.160 she just saw his post and read his his bio and 184 00:11:51.160 --> 00:11:54.320 Immediately I came to her heart and 185 00:11:55.720 --> 00:11:56.920 she 186 00:11:56.920 --> 00:11:58.440 commented on his thing like hey 187 00:11:58.440 --> 00:12:01.200 I really think I need to connect you with my friend Carla and 188 00:12:01.480 --> 00:12:05.960 Then there were other women from our community that was also in this like separate group 189 00:12:07.040 --> 00:12:12.680 That saw that because they knew who she was. They knew who I was we were you know, I wasn't in the group 190 00:12:12.680 --> 00:12:14.680 So I couldn't be tagged 191 00:12:15.040 --> 00:12:18.400 but then several of those women started commenting and 192 00:12:19.360 --> 00:12:24.400 And he was bold enough to be like, okay like I'm gonna reach out to this girl now 193 00:12:24.400 --> 00:12:28.960 Luckily, my friend had give me the like 4-1-1 was like, hey, what do you think about this guy? 194 00:12:29.200 --> 00:12:32.760 Sent me screenshots of him and I was like, yeah, okay 195 00:12:32.760 --> 00:12:37.880 Like he seems like a nice guy like he's okay looking like I didn't think he was drop-dead gorgeous 196 00:12:38.880 --> 00:12:44.720 Even was talking to my husband about that last night. You know, I share that story. I tell him how I share that story often 197 00:12:45.720 --> 00:12:50.760 Because I don't know if he really loves that I share that stories like hey and I'm like well 198 00:12:50.760 --> 00:12:56.760 I mean, but then he's like well, obviously you married me. I'm like, yeah, obviously I'm very attracted to you 199 00:12:57.560 --> 00:13:03.400 but at first I wasn't so but all of that to say is it was 200 00:13:04.120 --> 00:13:09.520 Friends in this community that I built they were on the lookout for me just like I was on the lookout for them 201 00:13:09.920 --> 00:13:11.920 So it's important that you start building 202 00:13:12.080 --> 00:13:18.480 Relationships, so there's lots of contact information in the chat ladies pull some of those 203 00:13:18.880 --> 00:13:20.880 write those down and 204 00:13:21.800 --> 00:13:27.000 Make an effort to contact someone this week get to know them 205 00:13:27.520 --> 00:13:32.080 Connect with them. Maybe do a video call with them. Maybe find out where they live 206 00:13:32.080 --> 00:13:34.480 Maybe they live close to you go meet up for coffee 207 00:13:34.760 --> 00:13:38.600 Go hang out start doing life with some of the ladies in this group 208 00:13:39.000 --> 00:13:45.560 I still stay in a lot of contact with some of the women from this community. I had to pick my son up at 209 00:13:46.440 --> 00:13:51.400 Up north in Green Bay over the summer because his dad lives in Upper Peninsula 210 00:13:52.120 --> 00:13:54.120 Upper Peninsula, Michigan 211 00:13:54.120 --> 00:13:59.720 And so I was flying to go pick him up and one of the women that I was friends with in this community 212 00:13:59.880 --> 00:14:04.400 She lives 15 minutes away from the Green Bay Airport. And so I had some time 213 00:14:04.880 --> 00:14:06.640 She came and picked me up at the airport 214 00:14:06.640 --> 00:14:10.320 I went over to her house hung out with her got to meet her kids 215 00:14:10.640 --> 00:14:16.240 We went in like her older son took my younger son to go walk across the street to get ice cream 216 00:14:16.440 --> 00:14:19.960 Like we just had fun connecting so I still stay in contact 217 00:14:20.800 --> 00:14:22.800 with a lot of those women so 218 00:14:23.400 --> 00:14:25.400 That's why I encourage it 219 00:14:26.680 --> 00:14:31.120 Yes, Holly, I love that you have your camera on I'm going through I'm going through the chat now 220 00:14:31.120 --> 00:14:34.480 I want to I want to make sure I don't I don't lose any good questions or anything 221 00:14:35.200 --> 00:14:38.240 Okay, and so Debra was helping out 222 00:14:41.000 --> 00:14:47.400 Okay, someone asked if any of us had any background as Christian navigating taking dance classes, okay, that's cool 223 00:14:47.920 --> 00:14:51.120 Yes, Lisa, there's five videos. So it's the kickoff 224 00:14:51.920 --> 00:14:53.920 It's the dating 101 225 00:14:53.960 --> 00:14:55.960 It's the divine feminine 226 00:14:56.120 --> 00:15:00.000 Online dating and then boundaries is that fifth video? So that's where you're 227 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:01.120 five videos are. 228 00:15:03.960 --> 00:15:06.880 Okay, awesome, I love that, Holly. 229 00:15:06.880 --> 00:15:09.280 All right, and then I got everybody connecting. 230 00:15:09.280 --> 00:15:13.560 We got someone from San Antonio, Texas. 231 00:15:13.560 --> 00:15:14.780 I've been there a couple times. 232 00:15:14.780 --> 00:15:16.880 I'm in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. 233 00:15:16.880 --> 00:15:18.640 I know Holly is from Chattanooga, 234 00:15:18.640 --> 00:15:20.440 and she connected with Jill, 235 00:15:20.440 --> 00:15:23.160 who I think now is in phase three. 236 00:15:23.160 --> 00:15:25.760 She connected with her several weeks ago, 237 00:15:25.760 --> 00:15:27.200 so that's been going great. 238 00:15:27.200 --> 00:15:30.160 I got someone from Armand Beach, Florida. 239 00:15:30.160 --> 00:15:32.800 I'm originally from Florida, good stuff. 240 00:15:32.800 --> 00:15:35.440 Northern California, I know, yep, McKenzie. 241 00:15:35.440 --> 00:15:38.240 We chatted, remember when I went to Napa? 242 00:15:38.240 --> 00:15:41.080 I'm like, that's gonna be a yearly trip for me. 243 00:15:41.080 --> 00:15:43.480 I loved it up there, it was so beautiful. 244 00:15:43.480 --> 00:15:47.640 So we got some Canadians, Alberta. 245 00:15:47.640 --> 00:15:50.200 We got lots of Canadians in this community, y'all, 246 00:15:50.200 --> 00:15:55.200 like a lot, and so there is such a community there. 247 00:15:55.600 --> 00:16:00.600 Like, connect, definitely connect with each other, for sure. 248 00:16:01.280 --> 00:16:03.680 So yeah, definitely do that. 249 00:16:03.680 --> 00:16:06.280 Someone's Rochester, New York, I love it. 250 00:16:06.280 --> 00:16:08.720 See, look, look, some of y'all are already, like, 251 00:16:08.720 --> 00:16:11.120 connecting, because y'all are, like, you know, 252 00:16:11.120 --> 00:16:13.880 finding that you're from the same, like, 253 00:16:13.880 --> 00:16:15.200 I love it, I love it. 254 00:16:15.200 --> 00:16:19.160 So that's why I offer this opportunity up, 255 00:16:19.160 --> 00:16:22.380 because I do think it is super important. 256 00:16:22.740 --> 00:16:27.460 Yes, Catherine is from DFW as well, I love it. 257 00:16:27.460 --> 00:16:29.780 I'm still very new to the area. 258 00:16:29.780 --> 00:16:31.860 I always joke with my husband, I don't know if I joke, 259 00:16:31.860 --> 00:16:35.620 I always get frustrated that everything is so far away. 260 00:16:35.620 --> 00:16:37.660 I originally was from Sarasota, Florida, 261 00:16:37.660 --> 00:16:39.740 and I felt like things were so much closer. 262 00:16:39.740 --> 00:16:42.300 And I'm like, Dallas is two hours away from Dallas. 263 00:16:45.020 --> 00:16:46.500 Like, it drives me crazy. 264 00:16:47.940 --> 00:16:50.820 Like, I live in the Frisco area, and I'm like, 265 00:16:50.820 --> 00:16:52.860 oh my goodness, like, it takes, 266 00:16:52.860 --> 00:16:55.020 or the traffic here is ridiculous. 267 00:16:56.660 --> 00:16:58.300 I got somebody from Austin. 268 00:16:58.300 --> 00:16:59.780 Obviously, I love going to Austin. 269 00:16:59.780 --> 00:17:00.780 I've been there several times. 270 00:17:00.780 --> 00:17:03.400 I have a husband's family, lives in Burnett, 271 00:17:03.400 --> 00:17:04.380 right outside of Austin. 272 00:17:04.380 --> 00:17:08.940 So you see how this is just start generating connection. 273 00:17:08.940 --> 00:17:12.339 And, oh, awesome, Carrollton McKinney. 274 00:17:12.339 --> 00:17:15.780 So yes, I know, yes, that toll tag, y'all, 275 00:17:15.780 --> 00:17:18.940 like, don't even get me started with toll fees. 276 00:17:18.940 --> 00:17:20.020 I don't like them. 277 00:17:21.140 --> 00:17:23.060 All right, so I don't wanna take up too much. 278 00:17:23.060 --> 00:17:26.540 I feel like we're all getting, like, I'm really chatty. 279 00:17:26.540 --> 00:17:28.180 Those of you that have been in phase two know 280 00:17:28.180 --> 00:17:31.780 I'm super chatty, so I can easily get off topic. 281 00:17:31.780 --> 00:17:34.500 So I'm gonna reel it back in, 282 00:17:34.500 --> 00:17:37.260 and I'm gonna get us back on track here. 283 00:17:37.260 --> 00:17:40.660 So hopefully, y'all were able to pull 284 00:17:40.660 --> 00:17:42.500 someone's contact information, 285 00:17:42.500 --> 00:17:45.220 and you're gonna find a way to connect with them this week. 286 00:17:45.220 --> 00:17:48.060 I'm gonna make that part of your activation for this week 287 00:17:48.060 --> 00:17:50.980 is connecting to people in community, okay? 288 00:17:52.620 --> 00:17:57.020 So speaking of activations, I like to do some activations. 289 00:17:57.020 --> 00:17:58.860 We did some in December where I had y'all 290 00:17:58.860 --> 00:18:02.060 buying Christmas gifts for your future husband, 291 00:18:02.060 --> 00:18:04.280 tying things through your Christmas tree, 292 00:18:04.280 --> 00:18:07.460 and start stepping into that prophetic act of faith 293 00:18:07.460 --> 00:18:09.200 of just that God's gonna do it, 294 00:18:09.200 --> 00:18:11.400 God's gonna deliver this promise, 295 00:18:11.400 --> 00:18:13.340 and we're gonna partner with that promise 296 00:18:13.340 --> 00:18:14.380 because we're gonna be faith, 297 00:18:14.380 --> 00:18:17.500 like, we're gonna take those steps of faith 298 00:18:17.860 --> 00:18:18.700 and partner with him. 299 00:18:18.700 --> 00:18:23.700 And so I was praying a little bit about what I thought, 300 00:18:24.100 --> 00:18:26.460 what would be good for the new year 301 00:18:26.460 --> 00:18:28.660 to have y'all do as an activation, 302 00:18:28.660 --> 00:18:32.780 and I was reminded of something that I started, 303 00:18:32.780 --> 00:18:36.580 and it really did begin when I joined this community in 2020. 304 00:18:36.580 --> 00:18:40.540 And I heard it prior, but when I started 305 00:18:40.540 --> 00:18:44.440 getting involved in this community early on, 306 00:18:44.480 --> 00:18:49.240 we did what was like a word of the year, okay? 307 00:18:49.240 --> 00:18:54.240 And I started praying for God to highlight a word or phrase 308 00:18:55.400 --> 00:18:58.400 to get me excited for the new year. 309 00:18:58.400 --> 00:19:03.240 You might've remember from phase one and the heart work, 310 00:19:03.240 --> 00:19:06.480 Jackie speaking about New Year's resolutions, 311 00:19:06.480 --> 00:19:09.960 and I never really loved New Year's resolutions. 312 00:19:09.960 --> 00:19:11.440 New Year's resolutions, they're great 313 00:19:11.440 --> 00:19:13.720 for like a month or two, and then, I don't know, 314 00:19:14.080 --> 00:19:16.600 has anyone ever completed their New Year's resolution 315 00:19:16.600 --> 00:19:18.240 for the entire year? 316 00:19:18.240 --> 00:19:20.800 Crystal, I applaud you. 317 00:19:20.800 --> 00:19:23.240 Gosh, like, I don't know how you do it 318 00:19:23.240 --> 00:19:25.700 because I don't know about you all, 319 00:19:25.700 --> 00:19:29.720 but it's like after a month, I kind of fall off. 320 00:19:29.720 --> 00:19:33.080 And so that's why it's like, oh, I'm gonna eat healthy, 321 00:19:33.080 --> 00:19:37.040 and then Valentine's rolls around, 322 00:19:37.040 --> 00:19:39.640 and I'm like, ooh, I'll look at all those chocolates. 323 00:19:39.640 --> 00:19:41.660 I don't have a somebody, 324 00:19:41.660 --> 00:19:43.400 so I'm gonna buy these for myself, 325 00:19:44.080 --> 00:19:45.800 and then I'm just stuffing my face with chocolate. 326 00:19:45.800 --> 00:19:47.600 Like, no. 327 00:19:47.600 --> 00:19:52.600 So then I'm like, oh, and then I felt discouraged 328 00:19:52.800 --> 00:19:55.480 that I'm like, oh, and then there's like shame and guilt 329 00:19:55.480 --> 00:19:58.080 that I didn't, you know, I didn't follow through. 330 00:19:58.080 --> 00:20:00.200 And so I like this idea of. 331 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:06.640 You know praying for God to give me a word or phrase for the year and I kind of got away from it 332 00:20:06.840 --> 00:20:13.280 This last, you know, I typically like to you know, pray on it and be thinking about it around like 333 00:20:13.840 --> 00:20:19.720 Thanksgiving and the beginning of the holiday for God just just kind of start talking to me and highlighting a certain word. So 334 00:20:20.800 --> 00:20:23.600 I'm I'm gonna start doing that this week 335 00:20:23.600 --> 00:20:29.180 So I want to encourage you ladies if you haven't already done that because I know some people do do do the same thing 336 00:20:29.380 --> 00:20:35.820 So I want you to spend time with the Lord and I want you to ask him to highlight a word or phrase 337 00:20:36.300 --> 00:20:38.560 for you for your new year and 338 00:20:39.220 --> 00:20:44.940 then when he gives you that word or phrase I want you to share it in our community and 339 00:20:45.300 --> 00:20:52.260 So and this is I'm gonna also remind you ladies that we have on January 5th. We have 340 00:20:52.900 --> 00:20:59.660 The prophesy your year so that might be something that you would be interested in and it might help you with your word 341 00:21:00.660 --> 00:21:07.980 And so that is an extra fee on January 5th. You do have to register for it. It's $50 342 00:21:08.300 --> 00:21:11.300 we also require that you have watched the 343 00:21:11.900 --> 00:21:17.000 How to hear God session that we did a few weeks ago with Bethany Hicks 344 00:21:17.300 --> 00:21:21.460 So if you want to participate in that you have to register you have to sign up 345 00:21:21.460 --> 00:21:25.700 You have to pay the $50 and you have to make sure that you watch that how to hear God. Okay 346 00:21:27.380 --> 00:21:34.740 So that might help you with your word for the year, I think from my understanding I I haven't I 347 00:21:35.540 --> 00:21:37.620 Haven't I didn't do the one last year 348 00:21:37.620 --> 00:21:45.420 But they break it down from my understanding is that you kind of prophesy over your year going month to month. And so 349 00:21:46.420 --> 00:21:53.380 I'm looking forward to it this year. And so so I don't have a whole lot of details, but 350 00:21:53.980 --> 00:21:59.380 I'm just putting that out there for those of you that might be new to the community and new to phase two and 351 00:21:59.580 --> 00:22:02.940 Might not have heard about that. That is going to be in your resource tab 352 00:22:03.580 --> 00:22:11.140 Also, I want you ladies to check out the latest pin from Bethany. She posted it just a few hours ago in our phase 2 app 353 00:22:12.620 --> 00:22:14.620 there was a 354 00:22:14.980 --> 00:22:19.500 Sunday night. We did a special session a prophetic night 355 00:22:19.500 --> 00:22:26.400 And so I want you ladies to watch that replay and then one of the women in the community 356 00:22:26.780 --> 00:22:31.340 She is like she does all this art like it's beautiful 357 00:22:31.340 --> 00:22:37.060 So Bethany posted a picture of her sketches from that prophetic night 358 00:22:37.060 --> 00:22:39.620 And so that might even help you 359 00:22:40.140 --> 00:22:46.900 Withdrawing in closer to God to see if maybe he has a word to release for you. Okay, so I love someone 360 00:22:47.220 --> 00:22:51.540 Collette Herbert is often often. I can't you know, I can't speak today 361 00:22:53.580 --> 00:22:56.420 Really can't often I can't say it 362 00:22:56.940 --> 00:23:00.860 Collette when you unmute and can you read that word because I can't say it right now 363 00:23:00.860 --> 00:23:07.220 Authentic yes. Thank you. I mean like I've said it before the past for some reason. It's not coming out of my mouth 364 00:23:09.220 --> 00:23:11.220 So, yeah, so she's sharing her words 365 00:23:11.220 --> 00:23:16.420 So yeah, that's great one word that even God has kind of been speaking to me over the last day or two 366 00:23:16.420 --> 00:23:21.140 I was been thinking about this is connection. So I don't know if there's maybe I 367 00:23:21.700 --> 00:23:26.180 I always like to get connected to God and I'm not sure if that's a good way to do it 368 00:23:26.860 --> 00:23:32.300 So, I don't know if there's maybe I'm I I always like to get confirmation from him 369 00:23:32.300 --> 00:23:34.580 I like I need him to kind of 370 00:23:34.900 --> 00:23:40.660 Tell me things and show me things and I need to hear from him in several different ways so that I just feel 371 00:23:41.100 --> 00:23:45.540 Confident that I'm hearing from the Lord. So that's just how I process things 372 00:23:47.100 --> 00:23:49.020 So that's why I like to sit with it 373 00:23:49.020 --> 00:23:50.580 I like to sit with God 374 00:23:50.620 --> 00:23:57.660 For you know several days and like allow him to kind of reveal things to me and speak to me and that's another thing ladies 375 00:23:57.660 --> 00:24:01.100 If even if you're not going to do prophesy your year 376 00:24:02.060 --> 00:24:05.140 that that on January 5th, I still 377 00:24:05.780 --> 00:24:11.380 Encourage you ladies to listen to the how to hear God that session with Bethany Hicks 378 00:24:12.180 --> 00:24:19.460 Because it will unlock things because God it like God has created us to hear him 379 00:24:19.900 --> 00:24:22.860 but in so many different ways and 380 00:24:23.420 --> 00:24:25.020 so 381 00:24:25.020 --> 00:24:29.900 When I even listened to that when we had that session I went in the replay 382 00:24:29.900 --> 00:24:33.700 I was reminded of how he can speak to me through 383 00:24:34.180 --> 00:24:38.380 lyrics of songs that certain things will pop up in my head and 384 00:24:38.980 --> 00:24:40.900 I'm like, oh, yeah, you're right 385 00:24:40.900 --> 00:24:42.260 That is one way 386 00:24:42.260 --> 00:24:48.660 But sometimes I forget that and so it was a good refresher and reminder of all the different ways that God can speak to us 387 00:24:48.660 --> 00:24:53.620 I'm actually even allowing my daughter to listen to that because she made a comment to me several weeks ago 388 00:24:53.740 --> 00:24:55.500 She's like God doesn't speak to me 389 00:24:55.500 --> 00:25:00.020 She was kind of in in her emotions and there was like a lot of like friction 390 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:02.880 And then stuff like that, you know, that happens with teenage girls. 391 00:25:03.360 --> 00:25:07.480 And so she just, and I was like, well, you know, spend time with God, like, 392 00:25:07.480 --> 00:25:08.720 listen to him, what's he saying to you? 393 00:25:08.720 --> 00:25:10.400 And she's like, he doesn't talk to me. 394 00:25:11.240 --> 00:25:13.640 And I was like, okay. 395 00:25:14.240 --> 00:25:18.760 And then I remembered this, you know, the session and I thought, you know what? 396 00:25:18.760 --> 00:25:21.320 God put on my heart, like, let her listen to that. 397 00:25:22.320 --> 00:25:24.400 Like I do, I do speak to her. 398 00:25:24.600 --> 00:25:29.080 She needs to know that I, I, I love her and I've designed her to, to speak to her. 399 00:25:29.080 --> 00:25:31.760 So it's really a really great session. 400 00:25:31.760 --> 00:25:34.480 So, um, good, good stuff. 401 00:25:34.520 --> 00:25:34.840 Okay. 402 00:25:34.840 --> 00:25:35.640 So I love it. 403 00:25:35.640 --> 00:25:39.640 There's lots of stuff going on in the chat, grace and ease. 404 00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:43.440 Bethany kept saying it and then I had a mug made. 405 00:25:43.480 --> 00:25:44.880 Oh, I love that. 406 00:25:44.920 --> 00:25:47.560 That's like such a great reminder of when you have mugs, like if you're 407 00:25:47.560 --> 00:25:48.840 like me and drink a lot of coffee. 408 00:25:49.320 --> 00:25:50.720 Um, yes. 409 00:25:50.720 --> 00:25:55.320 Holly, God speaks through you through music performance and dance and stuff. 410 00:25:55.320 --> 00:25:55.560 Yes. 411 00:25:55.560 --> 00:25:58.720 Cause you are, I can tell you are such a creative spirit. 412 00:25:59.320 --> 00:26:00.520 I love that about you. 413 00:26:00.560 --> 00:26:03.360 Like it's just, it it's contagious. 414 00:26:03.360 --> 00:26:04.440 It's just, I love that. 415 00:26:04.480 --> 00:26:05.640 So yes. 416 00:26:06.040 --> 00:26:06.520 Awesome. 417 00:26:06.520 --> 00:26:06.920 Awesome. 418 00:26:06.920 --> 00:26:07.600 Awesome. 419 00:26:07.880 --> 00:26:10.120 Lucy, no worries that you're late. 420 00:26:10.520 --> 00:26:16.000 I've just been going over, um, some of our housekeeping stuff, connecting the women. 421 00:26:16.000 --> 00:26:19.520 So go in the chat, check out a way to connect. 422 00:26:20.200 --> 00:26:21.920 Use me with some of your sisters this week. 423 00:26:22.640 --> 00:26:27.480 Um, giving you all the activation to go listen, spend some time with the Lord 424 00:26:27.480 --> 00:26:32.720 and ask him to give you a word or phrase for 2025 and then reminding 425 00:26:32.720 --> 00:26:34.880 you ladies of the prophesy your year. 426 00:26:35.760 --> 00:26:36.280 Okay. 427 00:26:36.800 --> 00:26:37.440 All right. 428 00:26:37.440 --> 00:26:41.840 So a couple of things like we're about 27 minutes in, I promise this is not 429 00:26:41.840 --> 00:26:43.960 going to, I'm not going to take up too much more time. 430 00:26:44.200 --> 00:26:48.760 I just want to touch briefly on a couple of things that kind of came up in my spirit. 431 00:26:49.560 --> 00:26:51.880 This is a month where we have five Tuesdays. 432 00:26:51.880 --> 00:26:56.720 And so each week we typically go over four of the five videos. 433 00:26:57.040 --> 00:27:00.200 And so when there's a fifth one, a fifth Tuesday in there, 434 00:27:00.200 --> 00:27:01.560 it's kind of like a freebie. 435 00:27:02.080 --> 00:27:04.080 And so that's kind of what today is. 436 00:27:04.080 --> 00:27:07.800 And so I was spending some time with God and asking him like, what 437 00:27:08.080 --> 00:27:09.560 do the women need to hear? 438 00:27:09.880 --> 00:27:11.600 Um, today. 439 00:27:11.600 --> 00:27:16.040 And so I really felt he wanted me to remind you ladies, how important 440 00:27:16.040 --> 00:27:17.960 it is to engage in this community. 441 00:27:18.520 --> 00:27:21.840 You know, I've witnessed so much happening. 442 00:27:21.920 --> 00:27:24.520 I've been in this community since 2020. 443 00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:26.360 I am married now. 444 00:27:26.360 --> 00:27:28.360 He, I met him in 2022. 445 00:27:28.360 --> 00:27:30.880 We got married in September of 2023. 446 00:27:31.400 --> 00:27:34.560 So, and I've been coaching here now for over a year. 447 00:27:35.080 --> 00:27:38.000 So I've been in this community for a long time. 448 00:27:38.360 --> 00:27:38.920 All right. 449 00:27:38.960 --> 00:27:44.040 And so I've seen and witnessed what happens for the women that are 450 00:27:44.040 --> 00:27:46.720 showing up and engaging in community. 451 00:27:47.560 --> 00:27:51.040 It's, there is something supernatural that really does happen. 452 00:27:51.040 --> 00:27:54.640 There's an acceleration that happens and I'm not just talking 453 00:27:54.640 --> 00:27:55.800 with meeting your husbands. 454 00:27:55.800 --> 00:27:58.280 I'm talking all sorts of stuff. 455 00:27:58.320 --> 00:28:02.280 I'm talking about deeper intimacy with the Lord right through that 456 00:28:02.280 --> 00:28:05.520 happens, um, reconciliations with family. 457 00:28:05.880 --> 00:28:11.000 Um, all sorts of stuff, healings from trauma, like things that you just 458 00:28:11.000 --> 00:28:15.200 wouldn't like that literally the only response would be is that God just 459 00:28:15.200 --> 00:28:17.680 supernaturally had an acceleration on it. 460 00:28:18.200 --> 00:28:23.040 And so that happens when women are engaged in this community. 461 00:28:23.040 --> 00:28:29.280 And, and what I mean by that is not just focusing on the men. 462 00:28:30.520 --> 00:28:35.280 I S I've seen this, like, again, since I started this community, I was in 463 00:28:35.280 --> 00:28:39.320 this community before the men came in and then we started joining men into 464 00:28:39.320 --> 00:28:46.720 this community and y'all, it was like, women were on the prowl, like it was 465 00:28:46.720 --> 00:28:50.640 like insane and me and some of the women would joke about that with each 466 00:28:50.640 --> 00:28:52.240 other, like, Oh my goodness. 467 00:28:52.240 --> 00:28:56.360 Like, there is just like, they're ravaging these men. 468 00:28:56.360 --> 00:28:57.400 Like, where are they at? 469 00:28:57.400 --> 00:29:01.960 What are the, and it was just like, Oh, so I get it. 470 00:29:02.000 --> 00:29:05.000 Like, I got excited when the men came in the community. 471 00:29:05.000 --> 00:29:08.520 Cause I was like, God's gonna bring me my husband through this community. 472 00:29:09.160 --> 00:29:12.120 And I was just like, Jackie's going to introduce me to my husband. 473 00:29:12.720 --> 00:29:18.040 And so I, I kind of held onto that for a really long time and I didn't 474 00:29:18.040 --> 00:29:20.080 allow myself to really go out and date. 475 00:29:20.080 --> 00:29:22.200 I didn't allow myself to do the online dating. 476 00:29:22.640 --> 00:29:24.360 I wasn't trying to get out in community. 477 00:29:24.360 --> 00:29:26.040 Like I was being coached to do. 478 00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:31.360 And so I sat in this funk for a year and now granted God used that year to grow 479 00:29:31.360 --> 00:29:35.080 me and my identity and other things that I needed to process too, because 480 00:29:35.080 --> 00:29:37.000 he's a gentle, he's a gentle father. 481 00:29:37.480 --> 00:29:43.120 Um, but I say, you know, I want you ladies to, you know, spend some time, 482 00:29:43.120 --> 00:29:46.560 like engage in this community to know that there's so much more fruit that 483 00:29:46.560 --> 00:29:48.560 comes from being in this community. 484 00:29:48.600 --> 00:29:52.040 It's not just the husband, the husband's kind of like the bonus, Terry, but 485 00:29:52.040 --> 00:29:53.720 there's so much more that comes with it. 486 00:29:54.000 --> 00:30:00.000 And so I say that to, if, you know, just watch yourself of this, like. 487 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:02.240 Where'd a man at? Where'd a man at? Where'd a man at? 488 00:30:02.520 --> 00:30:05.160 You know, you're only coming here because you want to meet the man 489 00:30:05.920 --> 00:30:12.800 instead of like coming here because you have an expectancy that God's gonna start doing something and 490 00:30:13.360 --> 00:30:20.560 Transforming you and stirring something in your heart and start prepping you and start giving you opportunities. Oh Lord. Oh, thank you Jesus 491 00:30:20.800 --> 00:30:23.200 Yeah, I have Holy Spirit chills on that one 492 00:30:23.840 --> 00:30:27.640 God wants to do something. I don't know who needs to hear that 493 00:30:28.000 --> 00:30:33.520 but this community is God wants to do something really powerful in you and 494 00:30:34.520 --> 00:30:40.080 It's gonna happen when you engage and you show up and being open and allowing God to just move 495 00:30:40.080 --> 00:30:43.760 I often say that to you women that you know 496 00:30:43.760 --> 00:30:47.400 We can sometimes go into these dates like is this my husband? Is this my husband? 497 00:30:47.400 --> 00:30:51.600 Is this my husband and we forget that those sometimes God brings 498 00:30:52.160 --> 00:30:58.880 Certain situations and certain dates and things like that because he wants to give us an opportunity to shift and grow and move I 499 00:30:59.360 --> 00:31:05.000 dated a handful of guys before meeting my husband and God used those men to 500 00:31:06.160 --> 00:31:08.600 grow me and show me my growth and 501 00:31:09.400 --> 00:31:11.240 upgrade me and 502 00:31:11.240 --> 00:31:16.160 So I don't want you to get discouraged when you go out on a date and it's not your guy 503 00:31:17.160 --> 00:31:22.520 Because that guy could be that link of process and growth and 504 00:31:23.640 --> 00:31:26.560 Breakthrough that's going to lead you to your spirit mate 505 00:31:27.080 --> 00:31:31.920 Y'all if my husband came into the picture at the beginning of this community when I joined this community 506 00:31:31.920 --> 00:31:33.920 I would have turned him away. I 507 00:31:34.960 --> 00:31:36.960 Would have been like no, he's not for me 508 00:31:37.520 --> 00:31:40.200 One was because he was living in Texas and I was like, I'm not moving 509 00:31:41.200 --> 00:31:45.640 But God had to break the walls down that I had up 510 00:31:46.120 --> 00:31:51.280 Y'all I had these non-negotiables that I thought were from heaven when really some of them were just walls 511 00:31:52.840 --> 00:31:58.440 Okay, and I say that because again if we talk about this surrendering the pen and what that looks like 512 00:31:59.080 --> 00:32:02.120 Okay, God is gentle and he will do things in layers 513 00:32:03.200 --> 00:32:06.280 But I want you all to constantly be coming here with an open heart 514 00:32:07.200 --> 00:32:14.120 Okay, I know a lot of you come in here and we give you that seven-day challenge and we talk about 515 00:32:16.640 --> 00:32:21.000 We talk about like going online we have a we have a video and online dating 516 00:32:22.000 --> 00:32:25.240 And I don't know about you all but I'm sure if I ask you raise your hand 517 00:32:25.240 --> 00:32:27.960 How many of you are like do not want to do online dating? 518 00:32:29.400 --> 00:32:32.600 There's a few of you I know y'all I was right there with you 519 00:32:33.120 --> 00:32:39.760 In fact, that's how I met my by like my my my birth son's dad was online and 520 00:32:40.240 --> 00:32:44.520 I got traumatized. I mean not try. I mean there was a lot of trauma there 521 00:32:44.520 --> 00:32:49.160 And so my I had protector mode on I had to protect myself 522 00:32:49.800 --> 00:32:56.320 There's scammers. There's you know men that say they're Christian and they're not Christian. Like I had all the walls up 523 00:32:56.320 --> 00:32:58.600 I didn't want to do the online dating thing 524 00:32:59.800 --> 00:33:01.800 Okay, and at first I didn't 525 00:33:02.120 --> 00:33:04.240 So ladies if that's where you're at, I get it 526 00:33:04.240 --> 00:33:10.960 I want you to constantly come every each and every day each and every week come with an open mind and an open heart 527 00:33:11.040 --> 00:33:13.040 What does God want to do? 528 00:33:14.200 --> 00:33:19.480 Okay, I did eventually start going online and I met some really great guys online I 529 00:33:20.160 --> 00:33:23.320 met some really great guys that showed me where my growth was and 530 00:33:23.720 --> 00:33:28.400 How I wasn't who I was in the past that God really was doing something in me 531 00:33:28.560 --> 00:33:35.080 I was being attracted to healthier men healthier men were being attracted to me 532 00:33:36.360 --> 00:33:38.160 like I 533 00:33:38.160 --> 00:33:44.280 Wouldn't have saw that if I didn't release the pen and say, okay God, I don't want to do this online dating 534 00:33:44.800 --> 00:33:46.800 But I feel like you're nudging me 535 00:33:47.840 --> 00:33:51.800 I'm gonna go ahead and give it to you. I'm on testable. I'm gonna do it 536 00:33:52.680 --> 00:33:54.680 Have your way 537 00:33:55.040 --> 00:33:57.040 Have your way 538 00:33:58.400 --> 00:34:00.080 And so that 539 00:34:00.080 --> 00:34:03.560 Real it does it opens the door it unlocks things 540 00:34:03.560 --> 00:34:07.040 I just I say that because again engage in this community 541 00:34:07.920 --> 00:34:09.600 surrender the pen 542 00:34:09.600 --> 00:34:12.520 Even if if you're like, I'm not gonna do online dating 543 00:34:13.199 --> 00:34:17.800 Okay, I heard God tell me I'm not gonna do online dating. Okay, I get it 544 00:34:17.800 --> 00:34:19.800 Sometimes he is telling people like that 545 00:34:19.960 --> 00:34:26.480 But sometimes we have to assess is it coming from a wall a fear whatever that is 546 00:34:27.000 --> 00:34:31.880 Because that can happen it happened to me I've seen it happen in this community, okay 547 00:34:32.520 --> 00:34:40.460 So I totally I totally totally get it. Another reason why it's important to be sharing in this community is and is because 548 00:34:42.280 --> 00:34:45.639 We're here to coach you through this process 549 00:34:46.159 --> 00:34:53.320 So when you are on dates, it is so important not even when you're even having 550 00:34:53.320 --> 00:35:00.120 Interactions with men it is important for you ladies to come to our community and share what is happening 551 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:06.720 with your interactions and this is why like even just this week someone posted 552 00:35:06.720 --> 00:35:12.120 a screenshot of a conversation that they're having with someone that they 553 00:35:12.120 --> 00:35:18.360 haven't met in person yet or maybe they have I can't I don't recall and because 554 00:35:18.360 --> 00:35:23.200 of that we are able to coach her into hey this looks like you might need to 555 00:35:23.200 --> 00:35:29.800 practice some boundaries so Ebony was able to coach her like hey let's start 556 00:35:29.800 --> 00:35:34.520 setting some strong boundaries I went and looked it over and I felt like okay 557 00:35:34.520 --> 00:35:39.640 yeah thank you for for sharing this with us keep sharing what your interaction 558 00:35:39.640 --> 00:35:43.680 with him because there were some yellow flags and some of the messages that he 559 00:35:43.680 --> 00:35:48.800 was sending okay and so I'm not saying it because I want y'all to start being 560 00:35:48.800 --> 00:35:53.960 suspicious but we're here as coaches to kind of be a lens for you so that you 561 00:35:53.960 --> 00:35:58.040 don't have to go on this suspicion lens and like oh my goodness this is what 562 00:35:58.040 --> 00:36:04.520 this guy's doing no sometimes guys just don't have the tools either all right we 563 00:36:04.520 --> 00:36:08.560 have to give them the benefit of the doubt that's why I said hey make sure 564 00:36:08.560 --> 00:36:14.000 that you're staying you know in contact with us and you're you're communicating 565 00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:18.520 with us what's going on with this guy but she's willing I think to just you 566 00:36:18.520 --> 00:36:24.920 know set some boundaries see where this goes set up an in-person meetup okay so 567 00:36:24.920 --> 00:36:31.080 as she does that I want to make sure that these yellow flags don't turn red I 568 00:36:31.080 --> 00:36:36.120 also want you to come in because there may be yellow flags that turn green and 569 00:36:36.120 --> 00:36:39.000 y'all don't see them turning green you see them turning red but we're as 570 00:36:39.000 --> 00:36:44.360 coaches gonna be able to help you filter through that that's why it's important 571 00:36:44.360 --> 00:36:50.880 when you are texting calling video calling going on dates you let us know 572 00:36:50.880 --> 00:36:55.120 what these interactions look like I have a lot of you women that will come 573 00:36:55.120 --> 00:37:00.280 and say I went on a date and it's a no and you have a positive like I'm glad I 574 00:37:00.280 --> 00:37:04.720 went out I'm like okay cool awesome I'm glad you're out on a date now I want to 575 00:37:04.720 --> 00:37:10.840 know why was it a no sometimes it's a no because the guys just work he's not 576 00:37:10.840 --> 00:37:17.440 healthy he's talking about sex he's being inappropriate like tell me then 577 00:37:17.440 --> 00:37:22.120 I'll be like yeah ladies this is this is when it's a no some of you ladies 578 00:37:22.120 --> 00:37:29.560 it's a no because um he just didn't talk about God on a first date I've had women 579 00:37:29.560 --> 00:37:34.520 do that I just I don't think he has a relationship with Jesus well you only 580 00:37:34.520 --> 00:37:40.040 had one date on one date with him sometimes we don't know that information 581 00:37:40.040 --> 00:37:44.840 and so that's where we might coach you a little bit differently okay because then 582 00:37:44.920 --> 00:37:49.280 and then if we're seeing like you're saying no no no and there's a pattern we 583 00:37:49.280 --> 00:37:55.280 see that pattern and that might be a revealing for healing that might mean to 584 00:37:55.280 --> 00:37:59.000 be something that we want to help you process through we want to help you 585 00:37:59.000 --> 00:38:04.600 unlock okay so that's why again it's important to be communicating with us 586 00:38:04.600 --> 00:38:10.560 what interactions you're having why why you like a person why you don't like a 587 00:38:10.560 --> 00:38:15.320 person because this is discovery dating this isn't just about discovering more 588 00:38:15.320 --> 00:38:20.040 about a new person it's also discovering yourself too so you hear us talk a lot 589 00:38:20.040 --> 00:38:28.360 about that as well so that brings up that faith talk okay so I know like 590 00:38:28.360 --> 00:38:33.160 ladies I say this from experience because y'all my son's biological father 591 00:38:33.160 --> 00:38:40.240 I thought had a relationship with Jesus he said all the right things because he 592 00:38:40.240 --> 00:38:47.160 knew I was looking for someone that had a connection and was a Christian I made 593 00:38:47.160 --> 00:38:52.040 it very clear that that's what I wanted he was able to use that and disguise it 594 00:38:52.040 --> 00:38:57.400 okay I'm not saying that to freak you ladies out okay I'm saying it because 595 00:38:57.400 --> 00:39:03.880 it's it's a place that I've been there and so I was naive and I went too deep 596 00:39:03.880 --> 00:39:08.920 too quick I've got physically involved with him before I actually really knew 597 00:39:08.920 --> 00:39:14.520 him and I didn't allow the process of dating to happen I didn't allow myself 598 00:39:14.520 --> 00:39:22.440 that level to just get to know you like let's see you know who this person is I 599 00:39:22.440 --> 00:39:27.400 want to see his character by interactions no I dove in super quick 600 00:39:27.400 --> 00:39:33.200 and I listened to his like sweet little nothings about how he went to church he 601 00:39:33.200 --> 00:39:38.320 went to church every week and he said all the right things once we got into 602 00:39:38.320 --> 00:39:42.480 a relationship and I got pregnant very quickly into that relationship y'all 603 00:39:42.480 --> 00:39:50.200 and then I felt like I was locked in this was pregnant I was like no this is 604 00:39:50.200 --> 00:39:57.840 what God wants you know God's answering my prayer I really and I really did 605 00:39:57.840 --> 00:39:59.880 believe that for a really long time I was so 606 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.400 blind to all of the yellow and red flags. 607 00:40:03.400 --> 00:40:08.400 And so, I went in, then I got, because of that, 608 00:40:10.280 --> 00:40:13.440 I understood, I wanted someone that had a strong faith. 609 00:40:13.440 --> 00:40:18.040 And so, like many of you, you wanna get to that quick. 610 00:40:18.040 --> 00:40:19.740 You're ready to ask all the questions, 611 00:40:19.740 --> 00:40:23.500 you're ready to ask him like, what's his faith life like? 612 00:40:23.500 --> 00:40:25.160 What's his prayer life like? 613 00:40:25.160 --> 00:40:27.960 You know, you wanna know all the things, right? 614 00:40:27.960 --> 00:40:29.640 You know, does he speak in tongues? 615 00:40:29.640 --> 00:40:30.660 Is he prophetic? 616 00:40:30.660 --> 00:40:34.400 Like, the experience of all that, you know, we do that. 617 00:40:34.400 --> 00:40:37.280 And so, I get it, because I, at one point, 618 00:40:37.280 --> 00:40:39.440 was right there with you, and I had it 619 00:40:39.440 --> 00:40:40.780 because I had this fear of like, 620 00:40:40.780 --> 00:40:43.740 I didn't wanna get in the mess that I got myself in before. 621 00:40:43.740 --> 00:40:48.740 And so, one thing that Jackie helped me learn was pacing, 622 00:40:52.000 --> 00:40:55.560 that level two pacing, level one, level two pacing, 623 00:40:56.520 --> 00:40:59.680 not rushing in, not deep diving, 624 00:40:59.680 --> 00:41:02.880 not getting physical early on. 625 00:41:02.880 --> 00:41:05.920 And I'm talking, like, I wouldn't even kiss a man 626 00:41:07.160 --> 00:41:09.600 if I wasn't in a level three committed relationship. 627 00:41:09.600 --> 00:41:11.480 I told my husband on our first date 628 00:41:11.480 --> 00:41:13.000 when he asked to kiss me, no. 629 00:41:14.320 --> 00:41:17.600 I wasn't going, and trust me, I wanted to. 630 00:41:18.600 --> 00:41:21.320 I really liked him, okay? 631 00:41:21.320 --> 00:41:22.200 I wasn't sure I was like, 632 00:41:22.200 --> 00:41:24.220 super physically attracted to him yet, 633 00:41:24.220 --> 00:41:27.740 but there was something that I was drawn in 634 00:41:27.740 --> 00:41:30.340 because it was, there was a connection there. 635 00:41:30.340 --> 00:41:33.740 It was, you know, divine, in my opinion, 636 00:41:33.740 --> 00:41:37.660 but I wasn't going to just jump in. 637 00:41:37.660 --> 00:41:40.380 And so, yeah, when he asked to kiss me, I was like, no. 638 00:41:40.380 --> 00:41:41.860 So, there was a lot of that stuff 639 00:41:41.860 --> 00:41:44.420 that I had to learn in that process. 640 00:41:44.420 --> 00:41:47.340 And so, another thing that she taught me was 641 00:41:47.340 --> 00:41:50.340 I didn't have to deep dive into the faith conversation. 642 00:41:50.340 --> 00:41:51.640 I didn't have to interrogate. 643 00:41:51.640 --> 00:41:53.480 I didn't have to ask questions. 644 00:41:53.480 --> 00:41:56.320 Instead, what happened is that 645 00:41:56.320 --> 00:41:59.840 as I was getting to know people, asking questions, 646 00:41:59.840 --> 00:42:03.060 them asking me questions, me answering their questions, 647 00:42:03.920 --> 00:42:07.360 my faith, because it was important to me, 648 00:42:07.360 --> 00:42:09.440 naturally came up in conversation. 649 00:42:11.680 --> 00:42:14.480 I think on one of the first conversations that I had, 650 00:42:14.480 --> 00:42:18.140 actually, it was three weeks into getting to know my husband 651 00:42:18.140 --> 00:42:22.160 right before we met in person, we were on a phone call, 652 00:42:22.160 --> 00:42:23.680 and he was asking me something, 653 00:42:23.680 --> 00:42:28.680 and I began to talk to him about my desire 654 00:42:28.800 --> 00:42:33.800 and my heart for churches serving single parents, 655 00:42:35.000 --> 00:42:37.380 because I felt like churches just didn't know 656 00:42:37.380 --> 00:42:40.480 how to serve single parents. 657 00:42:40.480 --> 00:42:42.200 And so, I was talking to him about it, 658 00:42:42.200 --> 00:42:45.560 about how, yeah, like, because he might have asked me, 659 00:42:45.560 --> 00:42:48.560 like, what is something I'm passionate about? 660 00:42:48.560 --> 00:42:51.120 Like, ladies, that could be one of your questions to me. 661 00:42:51.120 --> 00:42:54.400 So, tell me something that you're passionate about. 662 00:42:54.400 --> 00:42:56.040 And then if they turn around and ask you something 663 00:42:56.040 --> 00:42:58.120 that you're passionate about, guess what? 664 00:42:58.120 --> 00:42:59.360 Open door. 665 00:42:59.360 --> 00:43:02.000 I'm really passionate about my relationship with God. 666 00:43:02.000 --> 00:43:03.440 You know, I go to this church, 667 00:43:03.440 --> 00:43:05.520 and I just started going to this one. 668 00:43:05.520 --> 00:43:07.120 This is what I told my husband, like, 669 00:43:07.120 --> 00:43:10.120 I moved from a church that I was at for 10 years, 670 00:43:10.120 --> 00:43:12.720 God told me to move from this church, 671 00:43:12.720 --> 00:43:14.280 and I started going to another church, 672 00:43:14.280 --> 00:43:16.560 and I started to see this pattern, 673 00:43:16.560 --> 00:43:20.280 how the single parents were underserved, 674 00:43:20.280 --> 00:43:22.400 that a lot of people didn't know how 675 00:43:22.400 --> 00:43:25.320 to help single Christian parents 676 00:43:26.840 --> 00:43:30.240 connect in community while they had children. 677 00:43:32.280 --> 00:43:35.200 And I was like, this is such a passion for me. 678 00:43:35.200 --> 00:43:38.440 You know, going to weekday services 679 00:43:38.440 --> 00:43:41.520 when I have to get off of work, 680 00:43:41.520 --> 00:43:43.920 rush to aftercare to pick up my kid, 681 00:43:43.920 --> 00:43:45.720 get him home to feed him dinner, 682 00:43:45.720 --> 00:43:47.440 bathe and get ready for bed 683 00:43:47.440 --> 00:43:49.280 and maybe do a little bit of homework. 684 00:43:49.280 --> 00:43:51.800 How was I gonna make a Wednesday church service? 685 00:43:53.120 --> 00:43:56.240 Because I needed to feed my kid. 686 00:43:56.240 --> 00:43:57.560 So now I'm going and I'm like, 687 00:43:57.560 --> 00:43:59.320 I don't wanna feed him fast food all the time 688 00:43:59.320 --> 00:44:00.280 because I felt like I was doing that 689 00:44:00.280 --> 00:44:02.680 because I was a baseball mom too. 690 00:44:02.680 --> 00:44:07.680 And I was like, why do churches not offer services 691 00:44:08.760 --> 00:44:11.360 during the week that offer like potluck? 692 00:44:13.280 --> 00:44:16.160 Bring something in so that way you can feed family 693 00:44:16.160 --> 00:44:18.760 and connect in community and fellowship. 694 00:44:19.400 --> 00:44:22.600 And I brought that to attention of one of the pastor's wives 695 00:44:22.600 --> 00:44:24.320 at this new church I went to. 696 00:44:24.320 --> 00:44:26.840 So I was telling my husband about it. 697 00:44:26.840 --> 00:44:28.040 I mean, he was my husband at the time. 698 00:44:28.040 --> 00:44:29.240 He was the guy I was dating. 699 00:44:29.240 --> 00:44:30.720 I hadn't even met him yet. 700 00:44:30.720 --> 00:44:32.600 And that was able how I was able 701 00:44:32.600 --> 00:44:35.760 to share a piece of my passion. 702 00:44:35.760 --> 00:44:37.320 And so then my husband was able 703 00:44:37.320 --> 00:44:39.880 to kind of share some of his faith. 704 00:44:39.880 --> 00:44:42.920 And then through time, like we had the conversation 705 00:44:42.920 --> 00:44:47.400 where he was then able to open up his walk. 706 00:44:48.400 --> 00:44:51.080 He came from a very prophetic background. 707 00:44:51.080 --> 00:44:55.040 Like his, both sides of his family, 708 00:44:55.040 --> 00:44:57.320 his mother and father are divorced. 709 00:44:57.320 --> 00:45:00.280 They both come from very prophetic characters. 710 00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:07.160 background and so he has experience with that and that was a deep desire of my 711 00:45:07.160 --> 00:45:15.240 heart that I had someone because I I was this community itself drew me into the 712 00:45:15.240 --> 00:45:19.680 prophetic I didn't have experience prior to this community with the prophetic but 713 00:45:19.680 --> 00:45:22.920 I was starting to have dreams and visions prior to this group and I 714 00:45:22.920 --> 00:45:26.640 couldn't make sense of it I thought I was going crazy y'all I told my husband 715 00:45:26.640 --> 00:45:32.360 I thought I had like a brain tumor because I was seeing things I would be 716 00:45:32.360 --> 00:45:37.760 awake woken up from a like spiritual dream and I closed my eyes and be awake 717 00:45:37.760 --> 00:45:43.240 and I was seeing stuff y'all I thought I had a brain tumor and so it was this 718 00:45:43.240 --> 00:45:47.160 community and once I got connected with people that were familiar with the 719 00:45:47.160 --> 00:45:50.680 prophetic I started understanding it more and God's just been releasing and 720 00:45:50.680 --> 00:45:55.080 doing so much in my life through this community that had nothing to do with 721 00:45:55.080 --> 00:46:00.920 the husband but it was a desire of mine as I learned how God was speaking to me 722 00:46:00.920 --> 00:46:05.160 and what he could like it was fascinating to me I felt closer to the 723 00:46:05.160 --> 00:46:13.320 Lord than I ever had before and so I desired someone that had that I never 724 00:46:13.320 --> 00:46:18.720 told my husband prior that that's what I was looking for I wasn't probing him to 725 00:46:18.720 --> 00:46:22.440 see does he speak in tongues because then I got the gift of being able to do 726 00:46:22.440 --> 00:46:30.920 that I asked God Lord I want this and it literally it came on me like fire and I 727 00:46:30.920 --> 00:46:36.800 was blown away and I was like oh I'm gonna need a husband that is comfortable 728 00:46:36.800 --> 00:46:43.640 with that and so but I didn't I didn't ever share that with my husband it 729 00:46:43.640 --> 00:46:51.780 naturally came up God winked at me it was like girl I already know who your 730 00:46:51.780 --> 00:46:56.380 husband is and what your heart desires because I put that desire there and I've 731 00:46:56.380 --> 00:47:00.940 already got it figured out I'm already intentional about who I have for you for 732 00:47:00.940 --> 00:47:07.940 a spirit mate I didn't have to go like interrogating and to find out God was 733 00:47:07.940 --> 00:47:15.220 able to gradually show me with my pacing of how that worked naturally so I 734 00:47:15.220 --> 00:47:21.060 encourage you ladies bring your faith in a natural way in the topic of 735 00:47:21.060 --> 00:47:30.660 conversation and you'll be surprised okay but understand it can take time 736 00:47:30.660 --> 00:47:39.820 okay all right we got I feel like I covered a lot I really always like to 737 00:47:39.820 --> 00:47:49.380 make sure that we leave lots of room for coaching so now I'm going to open the 738 00:47:49.380 --> 00:47:54.460 floor to y'all so just let me see how many of you at this very moment you're 739 00:47:54.460 --> 00:48:00.380 like I have a question raise your hand I see some questions in the chat so Camilla 740 00:48:00.380 --> 00:48:07.300 how old were you when you got married so I am 41 now I got married when I was I 741 00:48:07.300 --> 00:48:11.460 got engaged when I was 40 my husband proposed to me on my 40th birthday and 742 00:48:12.180 --> 00:48:24.340 we got married that year okay from the moment that I we started being exclusive 743 00:48:24.340 --> 00:48:32.020 to our marriage it was exactly nine months so that was on December 3rd of 744 00:48:32.020 --> 00:48:42.220 2022 and I had a vision or a dream dream and vision years prior in this 745 00:48:42.220 --> 00:48:48.060 community in 2020 when I first got into this community and I had a dream that I 746 00:48:48.060 --> 00:48:53.940 was pregnant like fully pregnant and it wasn't because I was gonna get pregnant 747 00:48:53.940 --> 00:48:57.900 but it was there was a lot of words being spoken in this community at that 748 00:48:57.900 --> 00:49:03.260 time about a birthing season and so there was a lot of talk about that I 749 00:49:03.260 --> 00:49:06.860 remember being fully pregnant like I was gonna birth something and I saw a 750 00:49:06.860 --> 00:49:12.260 calendar with September at the top and the number three like the little square 751 00:49:12.260 --> 00:49:16.340 for the number three and it was like protruding out at me and I remember 752 00:49:16.340 --> 00:49:19.540 being like okay does this mean I'm gonna get pregnant and my baby's gonna be born 753 00:49:19.540 --> 00:49:23.100 on you know like I thought of all those things I sat with the Lord on that like 754 00:49:23.100 --> 00:49:27.340 God didn't reveal to me right away what what that dream was about he gave me 755 00:49:27.380 --> 00:49:32.860 indications of things and and things eventually started unfolding and then 756 00:49:32.860 --> 00:49:37.060 when I'm you know met my husband and we were talking about a date I was just 757 00:49:37.060 --> 00:49:41.340 like I really think September 3rd is supposed to be when I'm supposed to get 758 00:49:41.340 --> 00:49:47.620 married like does that date work for you and and it did and it was great because 759 00:49:47.620 --> 00:49:52.620 it was on a Sunday which meant like we got cheaper cost of a venue because on a 760 00:49:53.060 --> 00:49:57.980 Saturday and then it didn't dawn on me until like closer to our wedding and 761 00:49:57.980 --> 00:50:01.900 after our wedding that I made I put 762 00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:06.720 the two and two together, that that Sunday, September 3rd, was 763 00:50:06.720 --> 00:50:13.680 the day before Labor Day, y'all. And then, because we 764 00:50:13.680 --> 00:50:18.840 started exclusively dating on December 3rd, September 3rd was 765 00:50:18.840 --> 00:50:22.200 nine months prior. So you always talk about, you know, women 766 00:50:22.440 --> 00:50:26.120 being pregnant for nine months. And so it like, again, these are 767 00:50:26.120 --> 00:50:30.080 not things that like, it was just like ways that God was 768 00:50:30.080 --> 00:50:32.900 speaking to me. And I didn't start making the connection 769 00:50:32.900 --> 00:50:35.800 until things started falling into place. It was almost like 770 00:50:35.800 --> 00:50:39.140 after the fact where I'm like, Oh, these are confirmations. So 771 00:50:39.140 --> 00:50:43.760 yes, I was never married when I was in this program. I joined in 772 00:50:43.760 --> 00:50:50.300 2020. So I was 37. I think 37 was 37 when I joined this 773 00:50:50.300 --> 00:50:55.600 community. And I met my husband was 39. And he proposed to me on 774 00:50:55.600 --> 00:50:59.200 my 40th birthday. And we got married when I was 40. And now 775 00:50:59.200 --> 00:51:05.560 I'm 41. So that's the long answer to your question. So I 776 00:51:05.560 --> 00:51:08.200 was 41. I'm 41. I was 40 when I got married. 777 00:51:10.880 --> 00:51:13.680 Colette, I'm so glad that you needed this. I'm so glad that 778 00:51:13.680 --> 00:51:16.640 that's speaking to you. Okay, we've got lots of questions, 779 00:51:16.640 --> 00:51:21.040 ladies. We've got six on the board. If at any moment you have 780 00:51:21.040 --> 00:51:25.160 a question, put your hand up. Okay. So those ladies that have 781 00:51:25.160 --> 00:51:28.400 your hands up now, I'm going to ask that you be short, brave and 782 00:51:28.400 --> 00:51:32.400 powerful so that we you know, try to stay true to time. Okay, 783 00:51:32.520 --> 00:51:35.720 let's just give me all the little the details that 784 00:51:35.760 --> 00:51:41.080 important details that I need to know. And let's stick to one 785 00:51:41.080 --> 00:51:46.000 question. If you have two questions, I'll come we can 786 00:51:46.000 --> 00:51:51.440 always circle back around. Cool. Alright, so because yeah, now we 787 00:51:51.440 --> 00:51:55.560 got seven. I love it. All right. Lucy, I see your hand first. How 788 00:51:55.560 --> 00:51:57.160 are you? Good to see you. 789 00:51:59.240 --> 00:52:03.840 Hi, Carla. And great. Good to be here. And thank you so much for 790 00:52:03.840 --> 00:52:14.400 sharing that. Yeah. Um, so my question is, I've my phenomenon 791 00:52:14.440 --> 00:52:18.320 I've been navigating coming out of this heartwork season. That's 792 00:52:18.320 --> 00:52:23.800 been a lot of interest from guys. Not all. But with that has 793 00:52:23.800 --> 00:52:28.200 been like the interest and then oh my gosh, what do I do? You 794 00:52:28.200 --> 00:52:33.920 know, I'm feeling overwhelmed. Um, or sometimes they get upset 795 00:52:33.920 --> 00:52:36.880 when they might think that they're ready to like plow 796 00:52:36.880 --> 00:52:40.280 forward, but there's other guys as well. And I'm wondering, how 797 00:52:40.280 --> 00:52:44.240 do I navigate this with peace? Because what it feels like is 798 00:52:44.520 --> 00:52:48.200 like, interest, and then all of a sudden, maybe I'm not 799 00:52:48.200 --> 00:52:51.840 navigating it, right? And then nothing. And I'm like, did I 800 00:52:51.840 --> 00:52:58.520 mess it all up? And okay. Yeah, from guys has been like, they 801 00:52:58.520 --> 00:53:02.920 maybe were ready to get exclusive or things like that. 802 00:53:02.920 --> 00:53:03.200 And 803 00:53:05.560 --> 00:53:09.920 yes, so I experienced a lot of that too. So I can totally relate 804 00:53:09.920 --> 00:53:14.560 and I see it often. So the couple things that came up when 805 00:53:14.560 --> 00:53:19.920 you were talking is I want to remind you ladies, you are not 806 00:53:19.920 --> 00:53:23.960 responsible for how people respond to you. I want to 807 00:53:23.960 --> 00:53:27.280 release you from feeling responsible for how people 808 00:53:27.280 --> 00:53:34.120 respond to you. That's on them. Okay, so you don't have to be 809 00:53:34.120 --> 00:53:36.320 anxious. You don't have to worry about how they're going to 810 00:53:36.320 --> 00:53:40.560 respond to you because you know that you want to take this 811 00:53:40.560 --> 00:53:48.320 pacing slow. And ladies, let me tell you, a masculine mature 812 00:53:48.520 --> 00:53:51.720 marriage minded man, I'm getting Holy Spirit chills on this one, 813 00:53:52.760 --> 00:53:59.240 is going to want to honor and protect that for you. So if a 814 00:53:59.240 --> 00:54:04.720 man is not willing to slow down to the pace that you are 815 00:54:04.720 --> 00:54:14.800 comfortable with, then it's okay if he walks away. 100% Y'all 816 00:54:14.800 --> 00:54:17.360 when I told you that story about me saying to my husband, I want 817 00:54:17.360 --> 00:54:24.800 to kiss you. He respected that boundary. I told him I'm not 818 00:54:24.800 --> 00:54:27.600 going to kiss someone that I'm not an exclusive relationship 819 00:54:27.600 --> 00:54:33.680 with. With. I did that for me. Not because I was worried. Like 820 00:54:33.680 --> 00:54:37.120 is he gonna like me? Is he not gonna like me? No. I knew 821 00:54:37.160 --> 00:54:41.040 myself, how attached I get. And I didn't want to do it the same 822 00:54:41.040 --> 00:54:44.440 way. I knew being physical with something was something that was 823 00:54:44.440 --> 00:54:49.560 sacred. I was waiting to merit for marriage. So I wanted to 824 00:54:49.560 --> 00:54:54.200 pace myself on the kissing. So it was okay. And you know what, 825 00:54:54.280 --> 00:55:00.040 some guys would have been like, okay, bye. Like it is some guys 826 00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.780 They just want to, because you ladies are catches. 827 00:55:03.780 --> 00:55:06.900 Some of these ladies are going to, men are like these men are going to scoop you 828 00:55:06.900 --> 00:55:11.100 ladies up. But if you're not ready for that, 829 00:55:11.120 --> 00:55:13.740 it's okay to say, can we slow it down a bit? 830 00:55:13.820 --> 00:55:18.420 I had to do that with a guy that I dated and he was a really nice guy. 831 00:55:19.460 --> 00:55:21.500 I had gone on three dates with this guy. 832 00:55:21.500 --> 00:55:24.260 This is one of the very few guys that I made it to a third date with. 833 00:55:24.840 --> 00:55:29.220 We had set up a fourth date, but he was so persistent. I mean, he was, 834 00:55:29.560 --> 00:55:32.040 he was a, he was, we call it stage five clinger. 835 00:55:33.480 --> 00:55:36.160 This guy was a clinger. And I was like, I don't know. 836 00:55:36.160 --> 00:55:38.440 I don't know if I want to be exclusive with this guy yet. 837 00:55:39.000 --> 00:55:42.960 I'm still learning this process. I'm still trying to discover who I am, 838 00:55:42.960 --> 00:55:45.060 discover what I like, discover who he is. 839 00:55:45.400 --> 00:55:48.080 I'm still interested in seeing what else is out there. 840 00:55:48.880 --> 00:55:51.800 And he was just like, let's go, let's go, let's go. And I was like, no, 841 00:55:51.800 --> 00:55:55.440 I need you to respect that. I'm not ready for that. And he would, 842 00:55:55.440 --> 00:55:56.820 he would respect it for a minute. 843 00:55:57.980 --> 00:56:00.700 And then he brings something else to the front. I'm like, Whoa, dude, 844 00:56:00.700 --> 00:56:05.860 you got to slow down. And I'm like, God, I'm going to release this guy. 845 00:56:05.860 --> 00:56:08.700 God, I don't know if this is the right thing to do or not. I don't know. 846 00:56:09.660 --> 00:56:13.780 I literally had that. What if I'm messing it up? This is my spirit mate. 847 00:56:15.940 --> 00:56:19.780 And I'm like, I just screwed it up. And I was like, but God was like, 848 00:56:21.140 --> 00:56:23.740 and, and, and women in this community and Jackie were like, 849 00:56:23.740 --> 00:56:27.640 you can't mess up your spirit mate. You can't. 850 00:56:28.000 --> 00:56:30.760 And so I was like, okay, God, I'm going to release this guy. 851 00:56:31.960 --> 00:56:34.240 And if I was not supposed to do that, 852 00:56:34.280 --> 00:56:37.800 I know that you are a good father and you're going to give me another 853 00:56:37.800 --> 00:56:40.760 opportunity, but it's not going to be out of my doing. 854 00:56:41.000 --> 00:56:42.360 It's not going to be out of my forcing. 855 00:56:42.560 --> 00:56:45.880 It's not going to be out of my insecurity or my confusion or me trying to be 856 00:56:45.880 --> 00:56:48.400 like, well, maybe if I reach back out to them, nope, 857 00:56:48.440 --> 00:56:51.680 I was going to let God do all of that. And I will tell you ladies, 858 00:56:52.660 --> 00:56:56.380 that lasted for like over a year. 859 00:56:57.780 --> 00:56:59.860 Like I released him and I had no contact with him. 860 00:56:59.980 --> 00:57:03.380 And there were times that even Jackie would bring him up to me. 861 00:57:05.060 --> 00:57:08.100 And I thought, well, maybe that's what I need to do. I knew. Nope. Nope. Lord, 862 00:57:08.100 --> 00:57:09.420 I told you, you were going to do it. 863 00:57:11.700 --> 00:57:16.020 And I almost reach out to this guy. I almost bit the bullet. 864 00:57:16.020 --> 00:57:18.980 I almost like was like, no, I'm gonna take it back. 865 00:57:19.200 --> 00:57:20.160 I'm going to take that pin over. 866 00:57:21.200 --> 00:57:24.560 And I'm glad I didn't because a few weeks later, 867 00:57:24.560 --> 00:57:26.360 my husband sent me a message. 868 00:57:28.560 --> 00:57:32.960 So like, it's okay to pace yourself. 869 00:57:33.960 --> 00:57:36.040 I get what it feels overwhelming. 870 00:57:36.240 --> 00:57:40.560 This is when communicating your boundaries and what you need 871 00:57:42.080 --> 00:57:46.040 coming to our community, sharing with us, like what you're experiencing, 872 00:57:46.040 --> 00:57:48.820 because we'll coach you through that. Okay. 873 00:57:50.260 --> 00:57:52.940 If you're not sure how to lay a boundary down, 874 00:57:53.700 --> 00:57:57.260 we can help you with that. That's what we're here for. 875 00:57:58.300 --> 00:58:02.980 But the biggest thing I really feel many of you need to hear is 876 00:58:03.020 --> 00:58:05.980 you are not responsible for how men respond to you. 877 00:58:08.360 --> 00:58:09.200 That's good. 878 00:58:10.900 --> 00:58:14.580 100% an honorable, 879 00:58:14.680 --> 00:58:16.480 mature, masculine, 880 00:58:16.500 --> 00:58:21.280 respectful man is going to want to honor and protect you period. 881 00:58:24.160 --> 00:58:26.680 Are they going to do it perfectly? No, 882 00:58:29.440 --> 00:58:33.280 but that's when we talk about boundaries and communication. 883 00:58:34.020 --> 00:58:37.280 Ladies communication is huge. 884 00:58:37.920 --> 00:58:41.400 I still have to learn how to communicate better with my husband. Y'all. 885 00:58:41.400 --> 00:58:45.420 I snapped at my husband this morning and he got, he was not happy with me. 886 00:58:46.220 --> 00:58:48.060 He was patient with me though. 887 00:58:48.660 --> 00:58:51.300 Cause I snapped and he's like, 888 00:58:51.300 --> 00:58:55.020 can you not respond to me where you're yelling at me? 889 00:58:56.140 --> 00:59:00.060 And I still didn't want it to get in defense mode. And like, well, 890 00:59:00.060 --> 00:59:02.940 you did this and that's why you weren't listening to me. 891 00:59:02.940 --> 00:59:04.180 And I wasn't done talking. 892 00:59:05.780 --> 00:59:08.900 Like I was not communicating well with my husband. 893 00:59:09.880 --> 00:59:14.080 All right. I don't do it perfectly. So guess what? 894 00:59:14.080 --> 00:59:17.760 Men don't do it perfectly either. He doesn't do things perfectly, 895 00:59:18.440 --> 00:59:20.400 but he's patient and he's loving to me. 896 00:59:22.200 --> 00:59:27.040 He was patient with me today. And I was like, Oh right. 897 00:59:27.040 --> 00:59:30.760 I have to say, I'm sorry. I have to work on that. 898 00:59:32.000 --> 00:59:36.840 Okay. Lucy, I hope that helps you. I hope that helps a lot of you. 899 00:59:39.440 --> 00:59:44.520 All right. Jeannie, your hand is up next. Yeah. And Lisa, okay, good. 900 00:59:44.520 --> 00:59:46.680 You saw how to raise your hand. I see your hand now. 901 00:59:48.680 --> 00:59:51.920 Yeah. I was doing the seven dates 902 00:59:54.240 --> 00:59:56.440 thing and so I was like, Oh wow. 903 00:59:57.160 --> 01:00:00.080 So it just worked out that somebody 904 01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:07.440 somebody from my church. We ran into each other right before I went on a kind of a work trip and 905 01:00:07.440 --> 01:00:13.440 a vacation trip and they were going to be kind of in the area where I was going to end up with 906 01:00:13.440 --> 01:00:20.000 vacation. So long story short, we started talking. We talked on the, it was somebody I didn't, 907 01:00:20.000 --> 01:00:25.040 I just knew casually from volunteering, but we started talking and we just had the best time. 908 01:00:25.040 --> 01:00:32.880 We were texting, we were talking. We did like six FaceTime dates because I was, I was on vacation. 909 01:00:32.880 --> 01:00:39.360 We were far away. And so I'm just, you know, just connected on every level. Just, it was just 910 01:00:39.360 --> 01:00:48.560 really sweet. And so then we, he was, we were going to spend the day on the, the seventh would 911 01:00:48.560 --> 01:00:55.760 be an in-person date and we were going to spend the day. And before I flew back to the, my home, 912 01:00:56.320 --> 01:01:04.080 to my home, and he had just recently moved from there. So, so his home, my home would like 400 913 01:01:04.080 --> 01:01:10.400 miles apart. So that was a little tricky, but, but anyway, but we were just, I was so excited. 914 01:01:10.400 --> 01:01:17.120 I was looking so forward to it. He was excited, but when we, when we actually physically were in the 915 01:01:17.200 --> 01:01:25.520 same area, whatever it was like this shield just popped, you know, it was just like, it was just 916 01:01:25.520 --> 01:01:35.280 like a real hesitancy. And I'm not, when you guys were met, when we met and were with each other 917 01:01:35.280 --> 01:01:42.320 and he was, he was fine. It was on my end. And, and I'm not usually like that. Like usually that's 918 01:01:42.320 --> 01:01:47.520 not, especially when I'm looking for. So you're saying that you were feeling like you needed to 919 01:01:47.520 --> 01:01:54.240 put a protective guard up? Yeah. Yeah. It was like, it was like that. And it was like a gut feeling, 920 01:01:54.240 --> 01:01:59.600 I guess. And, and his, and I, and I was just thinking, well, what's wrong with me? I'm 921 01:01:59.600 --> 01:02:04.480 thinking something's wrong with me. You know, what am I, why am I being hesitant? Why am I, 922 01:02:05.280 --> 01:02:09.520 you know, kind of doing like that? That one, maybe, maybe I need more hard work or something, 923 01:02:10.160 --> 01:02:15.760 but it was just one of those things. And so I just went along with it and, and, 924 01:02:16.960 --> 01:02:22.080 and just enjoyed, you know, enjoyed the date and everything. But, but I was thinking the whole time, 925 01:02:22.080 --> 01:02:27.360 I, this is not, this is not a love connection. This is, he's not the same person. He's not the 926 01:02:27.360 --> 01:02:32.880 same person that, you know, it was just weird. And, and one of my family members actually met 927 01:02:32.880 --> 01:02:41.680 him briefly when he came to pick me up. And, and then, then I got back, I got back and I kind of 928 01:02:41.680 --> 01:02:48.320 texted my family and I was safe. The family members felt the same thing I did. They're like, 929 01:02:48.320 --> 01:02:56.800 there was some weird vibes about that. And I'm like, so anyway, so wow. I, so I kind of talked 930 01:02:56.800 --> 01:03:01.760 because he was kind of thinking about let's keep dating. And I kind of had to have that 931 01:03:01.760 --> 01:03:09.440 conversation yesterday on the phone and it didn't go real, it didn't go real well. I mean, and I 932 01:03:09.440 --> 01:03:15.920 just said, Hey, you know, I'm kind of just, I didn't say I had a weird vibe. I just said, you 933 01:03:15.920 --> 01:03:21.440 know, I just didn't feel like it was really, you know, going anywhere and I'd like to still be 934 01:03:21.440 --> 01:03:27.760 friends or whatever. And, and, and, and he was like, basically, no, I don't do just the friends 935 01:03:27.760 --> 01:03:33.680 thing. I got plenty of friends and just cut it off. And, but I just, I was like, you were saying, 936 01:03:33.680 --> 01:03:38.560 I was like, Oh man, did I do, was I, you know, you question a bunch of stuff after that. 937 01:03:42.160 --> 01:03:45.280 So, yeah, there was a couple of things that you, you know, you mentioned like, again, 938 01:03:45.280 --> 01:03:50.720 that discernment thing. So again, you know, and, and not, you know, I'm not saying ladies, 939 01:03:50.720 --> 01:03:55.920 when you get that, that it immediately means that that person's not it. It just means there's 940 01:03:55.920 --> 01:04:00.480 something that there might need, you might need to process with the Lord. It could be the Lord 941 01:04:00.480 --> 01:04:06.080 kind of saying, you know, I'm going to, this is, this is not, this is not it for whatever reason. 942 01:04:06.800 --> 01:04:13.200 It could be a fear in you. Like maybe, you know, if you haven't dated in a while, like sometimes 943 01:04:13.200 --> 01:04:20.320 the anxiety can kind of come. So it could be anxious. If you're a feeler like me, like I feel 944 01:04:21.600 --> 01:04:27.440 like I have, I've had to learn and I'm still learning how to not pick up other people's 945 01:04:27.440 --> 01:04:32.560 emotions. I will feel other people's emotions. Okay. And I'll be like, why am I angry? 946 01:04:33.360 --> 01:04:38.160 I'm like, I don't have anything to be angry about, but I'm angry because I'll feel it. 947 01:04:38.880 --> 01:04:45.680 Same thing with like someone's like stress and anxiety or sadness. I feel people's sadness all 948 01:04:45.680 --> 01:04:51.520 the time. Like, so sometimes it's that, so you could be picking up maybe some of his energy or 949 01:04:51.520 --> 01:04:58.880 somebody near you, whatever that is. Don't neglect it. Don't neglect what you're feeling, but do 950 01:04:58.880 --> 01:05:00.000 take it and process it. 951 01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.880 us it with the Lord. Right. And I took a couple of days. I took a couple of days to do that 952 01:05:04.880 --> 01:05:09.840 because I was, I didn't want to just, like you said, just jump in. Yeah. And I liked 953 01:05:09.840 --> 01:05:14.920 how you also said I stayed on the date and I, I enjoy, I, I did my best to enjoy the 954 01:05:14.920 --> 01:05:22.280 date. Yeah, I did. Yeah. Enjoy the dates. Yeah. Enjoy spending time with them. You should 955 01:05:22.280 --> 01:05:27.440 only be on these dates for an hour to two hours tops. Like spend two hours enjoying 956 01:05:27.440 --> 01:05:32.880 yourself. Right, right. So, so definitely I like that you did that. I also want to 957 01:05:32.880 --> 01:05:38.000 highlight to ladies, this is also another reason. Now I understand your situation. You 958 01:05:38.000 --> 01:05:42.080 guys couldn't meet up face to face. There was a lot going on, but this is, this is one 959 01:05:42.080 --> 01:05:48.640 reason why we tell you ladies don't spend more than a week texting and talking on the 960 01:05:48.640 --> 01:05:55.960 phone without trying to get a video date or in person date. Okay. Yeah, that's true. You 961 01:05:55.960 --> 01:06:02.440 get used and there's a comfort and you, you get to know them in a different way. And then 962 01:06:02.440 --> 01:06:07.560 in person they don't show up the same way. Sometimes there's just a disconnect and then 963 01:06:07.560 --> 01:06:12.320 that can just lead to disappointment because you're like, Oh, I was just anticipating like 964 01:06:12.320 --> 01:06:16.240 we were going to flow and this was going to be a great connection. And then it's kind 965 01:06:16.240 --> 01:06:22.640 of like, wah, wah. And then you're just like, I just spent four weeks getting to know this 966 01:06:22.640 --> 01:06:27.360 person. And for like, here's the thing, ladies, if you're spending three to four weeks, you're 967 01:06:27.360 --> 01:06:31.200 probably going to start getting into some deeper conversation. Yeah, we did. We did, 968 01:06:31.200 --> 01:06:36.360 you know? And so then that's why when we're getting in those deep conversations, it's 969 01:06:36.360 --> 01:06:41.920 natural for women to feel that connection. Connection. Yeah, exactly. And so when then 970 01:06:41.920 --> 01:06:49.120 it doesn't translate in person, we can kind of, we have this expectation that leads to 971 01:06:49.120 --> 01:06:54.320 this disappointment and we don't want that. So that's why we want you ladies going on 972 01:06:54.320 --> 01:06:59.520 these dates as soon as possible. But again, like understanding your situation, it was, 973 01:06:59.520 --> 01:07:04.560 it's difficult. It's not, ladies, it's not always going to fit in the box. Like not be 974 01:07:04.560 --> 01:07:08.280 able to follow and check all the boxes that we tell you to do. Sometimes like life is 975 01:07:08.280 --> 01:07:15.120 just sticky and messy and you know, it doesn't always work that way, but understand, Oh, 976 01:07:15.120 --> 01:07:18.920 this is why, because it's just not translating and it doesn't have to be something that you 977 01:07:18.920 --> 01:07:23.840 have to sit in disappointment. You can just say, okay, I learned something new. God's 978 01:07:23.840 --> 01:07:29.560 showing me something different, showing me how to do things differently now. And again, 979 01:07:29.560 --> 01:07:36.600 learning his response is not your responsibility. Right? I think it's gracious. He was gracious 980 01:07:36.600 --> 01:07:41.520 and he's a nice person, you know? I mean, a really, really great person. And that's 981 01:07:41.520 --> 01:07:47.640 what I said. I, you know, but anyway, yeah, it just, it was just like you did it. Like 982 01:07:47.800 --> 01:07:52.840 we don't ever want to bring like drag people along that we're just not going to, we're 983 01:07:52.840 --> 01:07:59.000 not your spirit mate, right? Like you can, when you release and you know, you feel confident 984 01:07:59.000 --> 01:08:05.760 that this person is not it. And you just say, Hey, I, the best way to say that ladies, what 985 01:08:05.760 --> 01:08:10.680 is the best way I would say, Hey, I, I really appreciated the time that we've gotten to 986 01:08:10.680 --> 01:08:15.600 get to know each other. I appreciate the date that we went on and had a lot of fun. I don't 987 01:08:15.600 --> 01:08:20.760 see this going anywhere romantically. So I just wanted to let you know, if you're open 988 01:08:20.760 --> 01:08:26.920 to friendship, I'd be down, but I just, I don't, I don't want to drag this on. I want 989 01:08:26.920 --> 01:08:32.160 to respect your time. Yeah. And that's, yeah, that's kind of how it went. So that was good. 990 01:08:32.160 --> 01:08:36.399 Yeah. Okay, good. I did say that. I did say that sort of, so, okay, good. Yeah. So that's 991 01:08:36.399 --> 01:08:40.720 what I'm saying. Like the way you said that, I think it's fine. Now then however, those 992 01:08:40.720 --> 01:08:46.760 men respond to you, that's on them. That's with where they're at. I had the same thing 993 01:08:46.760 --> 01:08:50.200 happened to me with that guy that I told you I had three dates with, and he kind of kept 994 01:08:50.200 --> 01:08:55.880 like wanting to be more. And I wasn't ready for that. I had to kind of let him down gently. 995 01:08:55.880 --> 01:09:01.120 I'm sure I messed it up. All right. Cause ladies, we're going to mess things up. It's 996 01:09:01.120 --> 01:09:05.279 okay. All right. We're going to do things like, Oh, I shouldn't have done it that way. 997 01:09:05.279 --> 01:09:11.760 We don't have to stress about it. Okay. Move like noted. Next time I'll do it better. And 998 01:09:11.760 --> 01:09:18.319 he didn't, he didn't like it either. I'm sure he was feeling pretty insecure. He felt rejected 999 01:09:18.319 --> 01:09:24.620 like that's rejection and they feel vulnerable too, you know? And so when they respond that 1000 01:09:24.620 --> 01:09:28.720 it's just an understanding of, yeah, they're probably feeling a bit rejection. They're 1001 01:09:28.720 --> 01:09:34.040 feeling annoyed at ladies. Sometimes it happens where you say that. And ladies, some of these 1002 01:09:34.040 --> 01:09:40.399 men can get very explosive. And then that's when you're just like, bless and block. I'm 1003 01:09:40.399 --> 01:09:45.160 glad I listened to my, I'm glad I listened to the Lord when he told me to not like to 1004 01:09:45.160 --> 01:09:52.160 end things. I mean, you'll see how they respond. And again, that response isn't your responsibility. 1005 01:09:52.160 --> 01:09:57.840 That's the stuff that they can work on. And you can just bless them beyond the way, like 1006 01:09:57.840 --> 01:09:59.960 we don't have to coach them. We don't have to. 1007 01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:01.440 Tell them what they did wrong. 1008 01:10:01.440 --> 01:10:02.440 Oh, you shouldn't have treated, 1009 01:10:02.440 --> 01:10:04.240 like you shouldn't have responded that way. 1010 01:10:04.240 --> 01:10:05.620 No, we don't even have to tell them 1011 01:10:05.620 --> 01:10:08.720 that their response was not a good, healthy response. 1012 01:10:08.720 --> 01:10:09.840 It's not our job. 1013 01:10:09.840 --> 01:10:11.220 It's our responsibility. 1014 01:10:11.220 --> 01:10:12.760 Yeah, that's good. 1015 01:10:12.760 --> 01:10:14.280 Yeah, thank you. 1016 01:10:14.280 --> 01:10:15.920 You're welcome. 1017 01:10:15.920 --> 01:10:18.040 Crystal, how are you? 1018 01:10:18.040 --> 01:10:19.640 Welcome to phase two. 1019 01:10:19.640 --> 01:10:24.360 Hopefully you're enjoying this live call for the first time. 1020 01:10:24.360 --> 01:10:25.760 Thank you, yes. 1021 01:10:26.720 --> 01:10:30.640 So my questions are many in all in one 1022 01:10:30.640 --> 01:10:31.920 that can be probably summed up. 1023 01:10:31.920 --> 01:10:35.040 So I'm new over here, okay? 1024 01:10:35.040 --> 01:10:37.440 And I've watched a few of the beginning things, 1025 01:10:37.440 --> 01:10:39.400 the intro stuff and the beginning things. 1026 01:10:39.400 --> 01:10:41.600 And this is my main question 1027 01:10:41.600 --> 01:10:43.920 and then maybe a little bit intertwined 1028 01:10:43.920 --> 01:10:45.640 so you can understand. 1029 01:10:45.640 --> 01:10:47.320 My feeling for me is that, 1030 01:10:47.320 --> 01:10:49.920 I guess I'll start with a little bit of backstory, 1031 01:10:49.920 --> 01:10:52.480 is that I was engaged to be married a year ago, 1032 01:10:52.480 --> 01:10:55.400 December 9th, and I'm out of a relationship 1033 01:10:56.040 --> 01:11:00.400 with my ex-fiance that has more safety concerns 1034 01:11:00.400 --> 01:11:02.440 than you can begin to know about police involvement. 1035 01:11:02.440 --> 01:11:03.280 Okay? 1036 01:11:03.280 --> 01:11:04.400 That's true. 1037 01:11:04.400 --> 01:11:06.520 But I've dealt with those things. 1038 01:11:06.520 --> 01:11:11.080 But coming from the unhealthy place and things like that, 1039 01:11:12.240 --> 01:11:14.360 but I've done a lot of like in the past, 1040 01:11:14.360 --> 01:11:15.440 like over the past 17 years, 1041 01:11:15.440 --> 01:11:18.240 I've done work in finance business, all Christian related. 1042 01:11:18.240 --> 01:11:20.480 I've learned that following directions 1043 01:11:20.480 --> 01:11:21.440 is the most important thing 1044 01:11:21.440 --> 01:11:24.320 even when we don't understand why to follow directions. 1045 01:11:24.320 --> 01:11:28.880 So my tendency, but you can correct me 1046 01:11:28.880 --> 01:11:29.840 because of where I came from 1047 01:11:29.840 --> 01:11:30.760 and this is what I'd like to do, 1048 01:11:30.760 --> 01:11:32.720 but you can tell me if it's wrong, 1049 01:11:32.720 --> 01:11:37.000 is that I would like to go through all the material 1050 01:11:37.000 --> 01:11:38.000 before I date. 1051 01:11:38.000 --> 01:11:39.760 Because you just said something like, 1052 01:11:39.760 --> 01:11:42.080 you should be only on a date for an hour or two. 1053 01:11:42.080 --> 01:11:43.800 And it's like, Jackie put out 1054 01:11:43.800 --> 01:11:46.080 the first like seven day challenge, 1055 01:11:46.080 --> 01:11:49.040 but I'm like, no, I wanna get all the information. 1056 01:11:49.040 --> 01:11:51.840 I wanna write down the phrases that I'm supposed to say. 1057 01:11:51.840 --> 01:11:54.480 I wanna know what I shouldn't do, 1058 01:11:54.480 --> 01:11:58.160 what I should do so that I don't make a repeat 1059 01:11:58.160 --> 01:12:00.080 of what I just did. 1060 01:12:00.080 --> 01:12:00.920 Gotcha. 1061 01:12:00.920 --> 01:12:01.760 Yes. 1062 01:12:01.760 --> 01:12:03.640 So there are so many women 1063 01:12:03.640 --> 01:12:05.880 that come into the community here in phase two. 1064 01:12:05.880 --> 01:12:08.360 I've seen women do what you're talking about. 1065 01:12:08.360 --> 01:12:10.160 I wanna know the content first. 1066 01:12:10.160 --> 01:12:11.520 I wanna go through that. 1067 01:12:11.520 --> 01:12:13.640 Then I wanna go through the dating process. 1068 01:12:13.640 --> 01:12:15.240 I've encouraged women, 1069 01:12:15.240 --> 01:12:18.720 like if you feel like you're ready to go out on a date, 1070 01:12:18.720 --> 01:12:19.560 let's do it. 1071 01:12:19.560 --> 01:12:20.480 It's trial and error. 1072 01:12:20.520 --> 01:12:22.600 That's why we say, bring it to community. 1073 01:12:22.600 --> 01:12:23.920 What are you experiencing? 1074 01:12:23.920 --> 01:12:25.760 We'll coach you through it. 1075 01:12:25.760 --> 01:12:28.160 You can't mess anything up, okay? 1076 01:12:28.160 --> 01:12:32.760 But I was like you, I'm very like, I gotta follow rules. 1077 01:12:32.760 --> 01:12:34.240 I'm a rule follower. 1078 01:12:34.240 --> 01:12:36.480 So I wanna take it all in. 1079 01:12:36.480 --> 01:12:41.480 So I, if that is where you feel comfortable and peace, 1080 01:12:41.560 --> 01:12:44.080 I say, do that. 1081 01:12:44.080 --> 01:12:45.280 But I also would like to, 1082 01:12:45.280 --> 01:12:47.040 and that's my other part of the question is, 1083 01:12:47.040 --> 01:12:49.600 Jackie challenged us to put it out on Facebook. 1084 01:12:49.600 --> 01:12:52.440 Now, I wouldn't do that because of my safety issues, 1085 01:12:52.440 --> 01:12:54.720 but I would like access to that post. 1086 01:12:54.720 --> 01:12:56.520 And I would like to follow directions 1087 01:12:56.520 --> 01:12:58.800 and let a few people that are safe for me 1088 01:12:58.800 --> 01:13:00.640 know that personally. 1089 01:13:00.640 --> 01:13:03.040 So I would like to follow kind of some of the directions 1090 01:13:03.040 --> 01:13:05.880 as I'm moving along and not like, 1091 01:13:05.880 --> 01:13:07.200 and just let go of control. 1092 01:13:07.200 --> 01:13:09.080 You know, if God wants to change along the way, 1093 01:13:09.080 --> 01:13:12.720 but right now just coming in and hearing the intro 1094 01:13:12.720 --> 01:13:14.280 and hearing some of the things you said today, 1095 01:13:14.280 --> 01:13:17.400 it's like, okay, God, like I really wanna make sure 1096 01:13:17.440 --> 01:13:21.520 that I do this God's way and super healthy. 1097 01:13:21.520 --> 01:13:22.360 Yes. 1098 01:13:22.360 --> 01:13:27.360 So speaking to that, like put it out there post, 1099 01:13:27.360 --> 01:13:29.400 it doesn't have to be a social media post. 1100 01:13:29.400 --> 01:13:31.400 So like for your instance, like that's, 1101 01:13:31.400 --> 01:13:32.680 again, it's a safety concern. 1102 01:13:32.680 --> 01:13:34.800 So that's where we wouldn't advise you to do that 1103 01:13:34.800 --> 01:13:36.600 because your safety is number one. 1104 01:13:37.680 --> 01:13:41.800 I've had women in the community that will just go 1105 01:13:41.800 --> 01:13:43.560 and reach out to a few friends, 1106 01:13:43.560 --> 01:13:45.320 like close friends and family members 1107 01:13:45.360 --> 01:13:47.560 and just having conversation with them, 1108 01:13:47.560 --> 01:13:49.080 sending them a text message. 1109 01:13:49.080 --> 01:13:53.360 Hey, I'm in this community, I'm learning so much, 1110 01:13:53.360 --> 01:13:55.480 I'm getting so much heart healing 1111 01:13:55.480 --> 01:13:59.120 and it's a way for me to prepare for what God's promised me 1112 01:13:59.120 --> 01:14:00.840 and that's marriage. 1113 01:14:00.840 --> 01:14:05.840 And so I'm really looking for my spirit mate. 1114 01:14:05.960 --> 01:14:10.760 And if you know any great guys that are, 1115 01:14:11.720 --> 01:14:15.000 have a love for the Lord and you think of me, 1116 01:14:15.680 --> 01:14:17.320 can you send them my way? 1117 01:14:17.320 --> 01:14:20.520 It's just, it's simple, like it's just a text message. 1118 01:14:20.520 --> 01:14:21.960 You know, pick a couple people. 1119 01:14:21.960 --> 01:14:24.280 So I've had women do that too, 1120 01:14:24.280 --> 01:14:26.680 where they pick a couple close friends 1121 01:14:26.680 --> 01:14:28.000 and then they share that. 1122 01:14:28.000 --> 01:14:31.120 Because I also am aware that even on social media, 1123 01:14:31.120 --> 01:14:33.840 there's some unhealthy people that are in our lives, 1124 01:14:33.840 --> 01:14:35.680 but they're on social media. 1125 01:14:35.680 --> 01:14:38.400 I mean, I had this happen when my husband and I 1126 01:14:38.400 --> 01:14:41.200 decided to be in an exclusive relationship. 1127 01:14:41.200 --> 01:14:44.120 He questioned why I didn't make it Facebook official. 1128 01:14:44.120 --> 01:14:45.720 And I told him I didn't want him 1129 01:14:45.720 --> 01:14:47.520 to make it Facebook official. 1130 01:14:47.520 --> 01:14:49.560 And he thought it was like a rejection on him. 1131 01:14:49.560 --> 01:14:52.280 I said, no, it's because I believe 1132 01:14:52.280 --> 01:14:54.120 that there's power in words. 1133 01:14:55.000 --> 01:14:57.040 And I think that there's some people 1134 01:14:57.040 --> 01:14:59.040 that are gonna be very critical and judgmental of it. 1135 01:14:59.040 --> 01:15:00.440 And I don't want that being. 1136 01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:01.000 and put it in the atmosphere. 1137 01:15:01.000 --> 01:15:02.600 I don't want to be that put in the spirit. 1138 01:15:02.600 --> 01:15:07.600 Like, I want to let people that I love and care about 1139 01:15:07.680 --> 01:15:10.520 that support me, that are walking alongside me 1140 01:15:10.520 --> 01:15:14.520 in my faith walk, I want them to know first 1141 01:15:14.520 --> 01:15:16.820 so that they can cover us in prayer. 1142 01:15:17.820 --> 01:15:19.320 That was important to me. 1143 01:15:19.320 --> 01:15:22.080 So I didn't want to put it out in the real world just yet 1144 01:15:22.080 --> 01:15:25.120 because I wanted our relationship to be covered in prayer 1145 01:15:25.120 --> 01:15:29.000 by people that were very important to me first. 1146 01:15:29.000 --> 01:15:31.600 So that can happen too on social media. 1147 01:15:31.600 --> 01:15:34.560 I did put a social media post out 1148 01:15:34.560 --> 01:15:35.920 because I was just like, 1149 01:15:35.920 --> 01:15:38.080 hey, everybody knew I was looking to date. 1150 01:15:39.160 --> 01:15:41.200 And I got like a few people that reached out 1151 01:15:41.200 --> 01:15:43.240 and it didn't work out, whatever. 1152 01:15:43.240 --> 01:15:46.360 But yeah, for some women, 1153 01:15:46.360 --> 01:15:49.200 there's some toxic unhealthy family members 1154 01:15:49.200 --> 01:15:51.120 that are in their social media 1155 01:15:52.160 --> 01:15:55.920 and they can be pretty cruel and pretty mean. 1156 01:15:55.920 --> 01:15:58.080 And so I'm not for that either. 1157 01:15:58.120 --> 01:16:02.040 So that's why we give you these guidelines, 1158 01:16:02.040 --> 01:16:03.920 but at the end of the day, 1159 01:16:03.920 --> 01:16:06.760 it's where do you have peace with it? 1160 01:16:06.760 --> 01:16:10.200 It's going to the Lord, it's talking to us about it 1161 01:16:10.200 --> 01:16:11.080 and going from there. 1162 01:16:11.080 --> 01:16:14.480 So yes, just share with a few girlfriends, 1163 01:16:14.480 --> 01:16:16.520 don't post it on social media. 1164 01:16:16.520 --> 01:16:17.680 Okay, just send out a text, 1165 01:16:17.680 --> 01:16:19.800 hey, this cool thing that I'm doing, 1166 01:16:19.800 --> 01:16:22.280 this cool group I'm in, it's really great. 1167 01:16:22.280 --> 01:16:25.160 And I'm believing that God's gonna bring me my spirit mate 1168 01:16:25.200 --> 01:16:28.600 and I believe that he can match us in community. 1169 01:16:28.600 --> 01:16:31.280 So if you know anybody, send them my direction. 1170 01:16:32.640 --> 01:16:36.000 And then, like you said, watch the videos 1171 01:16:36.000 --> 01:16:39.080 because we tell you four to five weeks in this community. 1172 01:16:39.080 --> 01:16:41.360 If you want to spend four to five weeks in the community, 1173 01:16:41.360 --> 01:16:44.120 just grabbing the content, coming to the live calls, 1174 01:16:44.120 --> 01:16:45.560 getting information. 1175 01:16:45.560 --> 01:16:47.520 And when you get through those five videos, 1176 01:16:47.520 --> 01:16:48.720 those five weeks, 1177 01:16:48.720 --> 01:16:50.280 do you want to stay another five weeks 1178 01:16:50.280 --> 01:16:52.200 to start putting into practice 1179 01:16:52.200 --> 01:16:53.960 and coming to the calls and getting coaching 1180 01:16:53.960 --> 01:16:55.560 on the practice that you're doing? 1181 01:16:55.560 --> 01:16:56.880 That's fine too. 1182 01:16:56.880 --> 01:16:58.880 We're not gonna kick y'all out of phase two 1183 01:16:58.880 --> 01:17:00.560 and push you into phase three 1184 01:17:00.560 --> 01:17:03.880 before you're totally ready, all right? 1185 01:17:03.880 --> 01:17:06.000 We're not gonna send you out after five weeks. 1186 01:17:06.000 --> 01:17:08.080 I have women in here that are here sometimes 1187 01:17:08.080 --> 01:17:11.440 for about three months, sometimes four. 1188 01:17:11.440 --> 01:17:13.800 When we start seeing you kind of gravitate 1189 01:17:13.800 --> 01:17:17.200 towards like four, five, six months, 1190 01:17:18.200 --> 01:17:21.720 then we might say, okay, it's time to shift you over. 1191 01:17:21.720 --> 01:17:24.640 But we understand life happens, okay? 1192 01:17:24.640 --> 01:17:25.760 So. 1193 01:17:25.760 --> 01:17:28.440 Do you recommend that we at least get some dates 1194 01:17:28.440 --> 01:17:30.120 before we move to phase three? 1195 01:17:31.520 --> 01:17:33.160 You don't have to. 1196 01:17:33.160 --> 01:17:34.000 Okay. 1197 01:17:34.000 --> 01:17:35.520 You don't have to. 1198 01:17:35.520 --> 01:17:37.400 That's just gonna be with, 1199 01:17:38.640 --> 01:17:40.480 are there dates coming your way? 1200 01:17:41.520 --> 01:17:44.360 Some people, they might live in certain areas 1201 01:17:44.360 --> 01:17:45.960 where they're just not getting it. 1202 01:17:45.960 --> 01:17:49.280 I didn't go on a date for over a year in this community. 1203 01:17:50.280 --> 01:17:51.560 You know, Jackie eventually was like, 1204 01:17:51.560 --> 01:17:53.280 okay, Carly, you're going on a date. 1205 01:17:53.280 --> 01:17:54.680 I'm setting you up with somebody. 1206 01:17:54.680 --> 01:17:55.840 It's not a love connection. 1207 01:17:55.840 --> 01:17:57.160 You just need to go out. 1208 01:17:58.600 --> 01:18:00.200 So she was all about like, 1209 01:18:00.200 --> 01:18:01.400 and that's another thing. 1210 01:18:01.400 --> 01:18:04.240 Like sometimes ladies will tell you, 1211 01:18:04.240 --> 01:18:06.400 go out with this guy even though he's not your spirit mate. 1212 01:18:06.400 --> 01:18:08.400 Just put it into practice. 1213 01:18:08.400 --> 01:18:10.400 Just enjoy getting to know something. 1214 01:18:10.400 --> 01:18:12.400 Enjoy someone like buying you dinner. 1215 01:18:13.720 --> 01:18:16.120 Enjoy just going out and having a fun activity. 1216 01:18:17.120 --> 01:18:19.880 It doesn't, every date doesn't have to be, 1217 01:18:19.880 --> 01:18:20.920 this is my husband. 1218 01:18:22.520 --> 01:18:23.360 Okay. 1219 01:18:24.400 --> 01:18:25.240 Okay, thanks so much. 1220 01:18:25.240 --> 01:18:26.080 You are welcome. 1221 01:18:26.080 --> 01:18:27.760 So glad to have you with us. 1222 01:18:27.760 --> 01:18:29.600 Brittany, welcome back. 1223 01:18:29.600 --> 01:18:31.280 I don't think I've seen you in a couple of weeks. 1224 01:18:31.280 --> 01:18:32.120 How are you? 1225 01:18:32.120 --> 01:18:33.200 What's your question? 1226 01:18:33.200 --> 01:18:34.600 I'm doing pretty well. 1227 01:18:34.600 --> 01:18:35.520 I do have a question. 1228 01:18:35.520 --> 01:18:38.240 So can you just repeat for me, 1229 01:18:38.240 --> 01:18:39.360 I know you said it earlier 1230 01:18:39.360 --> 01:18:41.080 when you were asking someone else's question, 1231 01:18:41.080 --> 01:18:44.680 but can you just repeat when to shift over 1232 01:18:44.720 --> 01:18:48.040 to like a video date or in-person? 1233 01:18:48.040 --> 01:18:50.040 I started, I got matched, 1234 01:18:50.040 --> 01:18:51.920 actually I've matched with someone online, 1235 01:18:51.920 --> 01:18:55.320 even though I don't really care about online dating, 1236 01:18:55.320 --> 01:18:58.800 but I did match with a man. 1237 01:18:58.800 --> 01:19:03.000 And so we just started having conversation. 1238 01:19:03.000 --> 01:19:07.040 I wanna say now it's maybe like day three. 1239 01:19:07.040 --> 01:19:09.440 So I don't wanna go over to video date too, 1240 01:19:09.440 --> 01:19:11.800 like video, like call too quickly or anything like that. 1241 01:19:11.800 --> 01:19:13.960 But I just wanted to just get an idea. 1242 01:19:14.000 --> 01:19:15.200 I just wasn't sure if I missed it 1243 01:19:15.200 --> 01:19:16.800 in like one of the videos that I saw. 1244 01:19:16.800 --> 01:19:18.080 Yeah, I always say, you know, 1245 01:19:18.080 --> 01:19:20.880 have a couple interactions, like a couple back and forth, 1246 01:19:20.880 --> 01:19:23.800 like, you know, get to understand, 1247 01:19:23.800 --> 01:19:25.920 like ask questions about their interests, 1248 01:19:25.920 --> 01:19:28.560 what kinds of things do they like, you know? 1249 01:19:30.440 --> 01:19:32.560 And then after you've had a couple interactions 1250 01:19:32.560 --> 01:19:33.840 and you feel like, you know, 1251 01:19:33.840 --> 01:19:36.800 there's someone that you would enjoy 1252 01:19:36.800 --> 01:19:40.080 and could carry a conversation for an hour or two, 1253 01:19:40.080 --> 01:19:42.600 then just say, hey, like, you know, this is really fun. 1254 01:19:42.920 --> 01:19:44.400 You know, getting to know each other back and forth, 1255 01:19:44.400 --> 01:19:46.920 why don't we jump on a video call? 1256 01:19:46.920 --> 01:19:49.400 Like, so we can see each other in person. 1257 01:19:49.400 --> 01:19:52.840 Or, I mean, I didn't always jump to the video call. 1258 01:19:52.840 --> 01:19:56.480 Sometimes I just offered the in-person meetup 1259 01:19:56.480 --> 01:19:59.080 because I was comfortable with that. 1260 01:19:59.080 --> 01:20:00.120 Like after a while. 1261 01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:02.820 like I got comfortable with that. Like I know some ladies, 1262 01:20:02.820 --> 01:20:04.140 like it's been a while since you date, 1263 01:20:04.140 --> 01:20:08.180 so it might be an extra cushion and extra buffer. And I did that too. 1264 01:20:08.460 --> 01:20:11.280 I did video dates, you know, let me FaceTime you, 1265 01:20:11.280 --> 01:20:16.100 let me see that you're a person, you know? And then I was like, okay, cool. 1266 01:20:16.100 --> 01:20:18.740 And I didn't stay on those video dates long. It was just like, you know, 1267 01:20:18.740 --> 01:20:21.620 I did zoom. So I had free zoom, it lasted 40 minutes. 1268 01:20:22.300 --> 01:20:27.300 So then I would get off after 40 minutes and be like, 1269 01:20:27.300 --> 01:20:29.320 like as I, and to be like, this was fun. Let's, let's, 1270 01:20:29.320 --> 01:20:31.160 let's actually like set up a time to meet. 1271 01:20:31.840 --> 01:20:35.120 Let's like go out and do something before I get off that call. 1272 01:20:35.160 --> 01:20:40.120 If I enjoyed getting to know them on that, like there was one guy, 1273 01:20:40.120 --> 01:20:42.720 I think he was like, actually, no, 1274 01:20:42.720 --> 01:20:44.600 I ended up going out on a date with this guy, 1275 01:20:44.840 --> 01:20:48.800 but he was like carrying his phone around, moving it around. 1276 01:20:48.880 --> 01:20:50.600 I don't think he had his shirt on. 1277 01:20:52.040 --> 01:20:55.920 I saw him like, and it was kind of in the evening hours, like, you know, 1278 01:20:55.940 --> 01:20:58.140 seven o'clock at night, seven, eight o'clock at night, 1279 01:20:58.460 --> 01:21:01.460 probably around eight cause my son was in bed and you know, 1280 01:21:01.460 --> 01:21:06.100 it's dark and I see the TV on and he plops himself in front of the TV and I'm 1281 01:21:06.100 --> 01:21:11.100 seeing the light from the TV and I'm seeing his eyes focused on the TV. 1282 01:21:12.500 --> 01:21:16.900 And I'm like, you're not even interested in getting to know me yet. I still, 1283 01:21:16.940 --> 01:21:21.100 you know what? I'll let the man take me out to dinner. It wasn't a fabulous dinner. 1284 01:21:21.100 --> 01:21:24.340 I think it was to some like the Olive garden, but I got a feel out of it. 1285 01:21:26.100 --> 01:21:28.780 I enjoyed that. And look, I had a good time. 1286 01:21:29.500 --> 01:21:32.540 I try to have a good time anywhere I go, honestly. 1287 01:21:32.820 --> 01:21:35.100 And so needless to say, 1288 01:21:35.380 --> 01:21:40.380 I think that guy was just hoping that after dinner I was gonna want to hang out 1289 01:21:41.060 --> 01:21:44.900 with him at his house because he picked a restaurant that was literally like 1290 01:21:44.900 --> 01:21:46.460 five minutes from his apartment. 1291 01:21:49.580 --> 01:21:51.940 I think he, I think he, I made a very clear like that. 1292 01:21:51.940 --> 01:21:53.820 That was not something that I was into. 1293 01:21:54.480 --> 01:21:58.080 So I think he was just ready for the date to be done. He paid for it. 1294 01:21:58.080 --> 01:22:00.660 And I was like, thank you. And you know, 1295 01:22:00.660 --> 01:22:04.440 he did check to make sure that I got home safe. Cause I drove actually, 1296 01:22:04.440 --> 01:22:08.800 I think like 40 minutes, you know, I was okay with driving by then. 1297 01:22:08.800 --> 01:22:13.360 And, and I was up in the area visiting a friend anyway. I made it, 1298 01:22:13.400 --> 01:22:16.480 I made it and I, I didn't just drive there just to meet up with him. 1299 01:22:16.480 --> 01:22:20.880 I was going to make it an event. Like I was going to go have another, you know, 1300 01:22:20.880 --> 01:22:21.780 a thing to do. 1301 01:22:21.780 --> 01:22:24.380 And so I had ended up hanging out with my friend prior to the date, 1302 01:22:24.660 --> 01:22:28.180 went on the date with him and was on my way home. And he was nice. Like, Oh, 1303 01:22:28.180 --> 01:22:31.340 did you get home safe? Yeah, I got home safe. You know, thanks again for dinner. 1304 01:22:33.060 --> 01:22:36.540 And then there was never any connection after that. And it was totally fine. 1305 01:22:37.060 --> 01:22:41.300 So, you know, all this to say like, again, going back to your question, 1306 01:22:42.060 --> 01:22:43.060 I say no more, 1307 01:22:43.460 --> 01:22:48.300 no more than a week if you can help it of the back and forth texting and talking 1308 01:22:48.300 --> 01:22:52.400 before you jump on video or live like an actual in-person date. 1309 01:22:53.120 --> 01:22:55.560 Okay. Get like, get some interactions there. 1310 01:22:55.840 --> 01:22:58.800 Do your best to not deep dive in that first week. 1311 01:22:59.400 --> 01:23:04.400 And I'm also like, ladies try to really refrain from like texting all day, 1312 01:23:04.620 --> 01:23:09.840 every day, right? Seven days a week, every day, like all hours of the day. 1313 01:23:10.200 --> 01:23:13.040 I mean, that happened to me too. Sometimes, I mean, my husband did that. 1314 01:23:13.040 --> 01:23:17.840 I'm like, okay, you work from home. I don't like, can you like, 1315 01:23:18.480 --> 01:23:22.520 you're blowing my phone up. Like that was something that I was even talking to my 1316 01:23:22.520 --> 01:23:26.960 husband last night about things that were yellow flags that I had of him. 1317 01:23:27.360 --> 01:23:31.200 And I didn't tell him this, but this just came up. Like he blew up my phone. 1318 01:23:32.720 --> 01:23:35.320 I was like, I need space. 1319 01:23:37.720 --> 01:23:40.400 And I was like listening to Jackie's coaching too. 1320 01:23:40.400 --> 01:23:45.400 Like we shouldn't be constantly engaging all hours of the day to someone we not 1321 01:23:48.400 --> 01:23:53.080 even met yet. So, but again, like, as you see, 1322 01:23:53.100 --> 01:23:57.880 I didn't let that be a, I'm not going to go out and meet this guy. 1323 01:23:58.640 --> 01:24:03.400 Ladies had I done that, I probably would still not be married right now. 1324 01:24:04.640 --> 01:24:08.160 So it's being open and also giving grace there. 1325 01:24:09.760 --> 01:24:11.280 Yeah. Thank you so much for sharing that. 1326 01:24:11.280 --> 01:24:16.280 I just had to paste that out and I at least try to answer like once a day. 1327 01:24:16.700 --> 01:24:21.180 I don't, yeah, I've learned my lesson in the past. 1328 01:24:21.180 --> 01:24:24.540 Sometimes it's putting a boundary. I'm saying, Hey, like, you know, I, 1329 01:24:24.540 --> 01:24:27.580 I want you to know that like, I'm not trying to avoid you. 1330 01:24:27.580 --> 01:24:32.100 I just can't be on my phone all hours of the day. I, 1331 01:24:32.180 --> 01:24:34.780 I can respond at, you know, 1332 01:24:35.180 --> 01:24:38.020 this time in the evenings or in the mornings, 1333 01:24:38.340 --> 01:24:40.540 but just so you're aware, like I'm, 1334 01:24:40.860 --> 01:24:43.660 I may not be responding immediately to you. 1335 01:24:43.680 --> 01:24:46.200 It's not because I don't want to get to know you. It's just, 1336 01:24:46.560 --> 01:24:49.520 I'm not near my phone. I have things, you know, happening, 1337 01:24:49.520 --> 01:24:51.760 but I do want to get to know you. I mean, it's just literally, 1338 01:24:51.760 --> 01:24:55.880 it's just about communicating that. Yeah, of course, that boundary. 1339 01:24:55.880 --> 01:24:59.040 And then that way maybe they'll kind of catch the hint, like, Oh wow. Like. 1340 01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:08.880 suffocating her. Thank you. You're welcome. Hey, Mackenzie. 1341 01:25:09.880 --> 01:25:14.880 Good to see you. Good to see you too. Um, I, I have two 1342 01:25:14.880 --> 01:25:17.600 questions, but I'll wait for one of them till at the end if we 1343 01:25:17.600 --> 01:25:22.200 have time. But one of the questions that I have is, um, so 1344 01:25:22.200 --> 01:25:24.840 I've been talking with one of the guys that I'm talking to, 1345 01:25:24.840 --> 01:25:27.360 we've been kind of talking for a little bit over a week, but it's 1346 01:25:27.360 --> 01:25:31.040 kind of wonky with Christmas and stuff. Yeah. Um, and we have 1347 01:25:31.040 --> 01:25:34.200 a lot in common and a lot of things that I think we would 1348 01:25:34.200 --> 01:25:39.360 like, um, connect on, but he, it's definitely slower 1349 01:25:39.360 --> 01:25:45.680 communication, which is okay. Um, and for, I guess my question 1350 01:25:45.680 --> 01:25:49.440 is, um, he, I sent him a text, like probably not yesterday, but 1351 01:25:49.440 --> 01:25:53.160 the day before, and he hasn't responded yet, but I know he's 1352 01:25:53.160 --> 01:25:55.960 told me that he's like in, in my area three days a week, 1353 01:25:55.960 --> 01:25:58.800 because he travels and works here three days a week and then 1354 01:25:58.800 --> 01:26:03.280 goes two hours home. Um, my question, is it bad for me to 1355 01:26:03.280 --> 01:26:06.080 like double text and say, Hey, when you're in town next week, 1356 01:26:06.080 --> 01:26:09.640 if you have time, can we like initiate a date? Because I'd 1357 01:26:09.640 --> 01:26:13.480 kind of like to know sooner than later, rather than kind of 1358 01:26:13.480 --> 01:26:17.520 like, you know, not, you know, if we're going to end up 1359 01:26:17.520 --> 01:26:21.400 together, but just kind of continuing to, to converse with 1360 01:26:21.400 --> 01:26:25.040 him, is it bad for me to double text him or should I just wait 1361 01:26:25.040 --> 01:26:26.120 for him to respond? 1362 01:26:26.480 --> 01:26:28.120 Okay. So let me get this straight. You guys have been 1363 01:26:28.120 --> 01:26:33.800 texting for a week now. Yes. Okay. A week. Is, is there a 1364 01:26:33.800 --> 01:26:36.840 flow, like a back and forth? Usually? 1365 01:26:36.840 --> 01:26:40.080 Yes. Yes. There's, it's like back and forth. And usually he 1366 01:26:40.080 --> 01:26:43.240 texts late at night, cause he gets off work late. And so then 1367 01:26:43.240 --> 01:26:48.120 I will respond until I go to bed, but it's usually so late. 1368 01:26:48.120 --> 01:26:51.800 It's hard to get much conversation, but we've had a 1369 01:26:51.800 --> 01:26:56.640 lot of like, I would say, um, full conversation in those 1370 01:26:56.640 --> 01:26:58.840 texts, but it just is not, I don't know. 1371 01:26:58.840 --> 01:27:02.480 Have you made it clear that you are open to meeting? 1372 01:27:03.240 --> 01:27:05.360 We haven't talked at all about meeting. 1373 01:27:06.440 --> 01:27:12.680 Okay. Um, and you just mess, was this message just today or 1374 01:27:12.680 --> 01:27:13.400 yesterday? 1375 01:27:14.200 --> 01:27:17.080 It was on, what's today? Today's two. 1376 01:27:17.480 --> 01:27:19.480 Who was the last person that texted? Was it you? 1377 01:27:19.640 --> 01:27:20.920 I did. Yeah. 1378 01:27:21.000 --> 01:27:22.040 And what did you send? 1379 01:27:23.000 --> 01:27:28.200 I sent, let me pull it up. Cause he, it was on Sunday and he had 1380 01:27:28.200 --> 01:27:31.320 asked me how, cause we were talking about how Sunday went 1381 01:27:31.640 --> 01:27:34.360 and he, and then he asked me how my Sunday was and then I 1382 01:27:34.360 --> 01:27:38.760 responded, backed in and then I didn't ask him a question back, 1383 01:27:38.920 --> 01:27:41.760 but I just kind of let him know how my Sunday was. And then I 1384 01:27:41.760 --> 01:27:44.120 haven't, he hasn't responded after that. 1385 01:27:44.680 --> 01:27:46.680 Because you didn't have a question for him, did you? 1386 01:27:46.720 --> 01:27:48.600 Yeah. I didn't include a question. 1387 01:27:49.000 --> 01:27:53.480 It's been a couple of days. I think it's again, like sometimes 1388 01:27:53.480 --> 01:27:57.160 it's, it's about just reciprocating, you know, you 1389 01:27:57.160 --> 01:28:02.080 know, some, yes, we want men to kind of initiate and like start 1390 01:28:02.080 --> 01:28:07.200 that trend. But again, like it's okay for us to also 1391 01:28:07.200 --> 01:28:10.920 reciprocate and also initiate at times. So this is that kind of 1392 01:28:10.920 --> 01:28:14.600 in between, like you guys haven't met yet. So this would 1393 01:28:14.600 --> 01:28:17.840 be like, you can drop the hanky, like, Hey, now that the 1394 01:28:17.840 --> 01:28:21.240 holidays are over, what are your thoughts about trying to 1395 01:28:21.240 --> 01:28:25.640 find a time for us to connect and meet in person? Okay. I say 1396 01:28:25.640 --> 01:28:29.400 throw that out there. Now at that point, the ball's in his 1397 01:28:29.400 --> 01:28:33.720 court. For sure. Okay. Let him start initiating. Let him show 1398 01:28:33.720 --> 01:28:37.920 interest. Okay. Well, we don't want to happen. So that's why I 1399 01:28:37.920 --> 01:28:41.360 love that you asked that question because what can tend 1400 01:28:41.360 --> 01:28:44.760 to happen is that for any of us that are anxious attachers, like 1401 01:28:44.760 --> 01:28:50.200 I was an anxious attacher. Like, I would be like, Oh, well, I 1402 01:28:50.200 --> 01:28:52.800 need it. I need to, you know, get in front of them more. Like, 1403 01:28:52.840 --> 01:28:56.880 I'm not in front of them enough. And so we want to make sure that 1404 01:28:56.880 --> 01:29:00.040 that's not what we're doing. So I love hearing that question. 1405 01:29:00.040 --> 01:29:03.640 And like, before doing that, like, this would be a situation 1406 01:29:03.640 --> 01:29:07.560 where you guys haven't met yet. It hasn't really been discussed. 1407 01:29:07.880 --> 01:29:11.000 Go ahead and drop that hanky. But let's make sure that we're 1408 01:29:11.000 --> 01:29:15.160 not always being the one to initiate conversation and 1409 01:29:15.160 --> 01:29:20.000 initiate getting together. Now, if y'all do decide to meet, and 1410 01:29:20.000 --> 01:29:25.320 you go on a date, and you enjoy yourself, let them know, I had a 1411 01:29:25.320 --> 01:29:29.120 really great time. Let's do this again. You get at the end of the 1412 01:29:29.120 --> 01:29:33.960 date. It's also okay, like, like, several hours or a day 1413 01:29:33.960 --> 01:29:39.080 later, to remention it. That was really fun. That would be really 1414 01:29:39.080 --> 01:29:42.680 cool to get together again. And then that's all you say. You 1415 01:29:42.680 --> 01:29:46.680 don't ask a question, you just make a statement. I had fun. It 1416 01:29:46.680 --> 01:29:50.240 would be cool to do this again. Now you let them initiate the 1417 01:29:50.240 --> 01:29:55.360 second date. You've communicated you enjoyed yourself, you would 1418 01:29:55.360 --> 01:29:59.720 want to do it again. Because sometimes men don't know 1419 01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:02.260 Well, is she just saying that? 1420 01:30:02.260 --> 01:30:03.080 I don't know. 1421 01:30:03.080 --> 01:30:04.240 I don't know if she, like, 1422 01:30:04.240 --> 01:30:06.800 they get insecure in their head too. 1423 01:30:06.800 --> 01:30:08.760 Like, not all of them. 1424 01:30:08.760 --> 01:30:09.600 Some of them are just like, 1425 01:30:09.600 --> 01:30:11.140 you know, no, I wasn't interested. 1426 01:30:11.140 --> 01:30:11.980 And that's fine. 1427 01:30:11.980 --> 01:30:14.800 That's why we want them initiating that second date, 1428 01:30:14.800 --> 01:30:19.080 but not because they didn't know that you didn't want it. 1429 01:30:19.080 --> 01:30:19.920 Okay? 1430 01:30:19.920 --> 01:30:20.740 Okay. 1431 01:30:20.740 --> 01:30:21.580 To be honest, as women, 1432 01:30:21.580 --> 01:30:23.420 we can be complicated. 1433 01:30:23.420 --> 01:30:25.760 We can be hard to read. 1434 01:30:26.680 --> 01:30:28.980 Y'all, my husband has a hard time reading me. 1435 01:30:29.980 --> 01:30:30.980 I think I'm a, like, 1436 01:30:30.980 --> 01:30:32.060 I over-communicate. 1437 01:30:32.060 --> 01:30:33.380 I use all the words. 1438 01:30:36.660 --> 01:30:37.980 Okay. Thank you so much. 1439 01:30:37.980 --> 01:30:38.820 You're welcome. 1440 01:30:38.820 --> 01:30:40.180 And so you have a second question. 1441 01:30:40.180 --> 01:30:41.140 Put your hand back up 1442 01:30:41.140 --> 01:30:42.860 so I know that you have another question. 1443 01:30:42.860 --> 01:30:44.100 Okay. 1444 01:30:44.100 --> 01:30:46.860 Okay. I got Kelly, Catherine, then Lisa. 1445 01:30:51.100 --> 01:30:51.940 Hi Kelly. 1446 01:30:51.940 --> 01:30:53.540 I'm trying to unmute. 1447 01:30:53.540 --> 01:30:55.640 I think I see you trying to figure it out. 1448 01:30:57.220 --> 01:30:58.040 Sorry about that. 1449 01:30:58.040 --> 01:30:58.880 I couldn't get it. 1450 01:30:58.880 --> 01:30:59.720 You're good. 1451 01:30:59.720 --> 01:31:01.040 Are you new to face too? 1452 01:31:01.920 --> 01:31:02.760 Well, sort of. 1453 01:31:02.760 --> 01:31:04.320 I usually do the evening session. 1454 01:31:04.320 --> 01:31:05.160 Okay. I was like, 1455 01:31:05.160 --> 01:31:07.360 I don't recognize you. 1456 01:31:07.360 --> 01:31:08.700 This is my third time, 1457 01:31:08.700 --> 01:31:10.280 but I usually do the evening session. 1458 01:31:10.280 --> 01:31:12.520 First of all, your t-shirt says Matadors. 1459 01:31:12.520 --> 01:31:14.480 That's my high school mascot. 1460 01:31:14.480 --> 01:31:15.520 No way. 1461 01:31:15.520 --> 01:31:16.360 Yeah. 1462 01:31:16.360 --> 01:31:19.240 My son is on a travel ball team. 1463 01:31:19.240 --> 01:31:20.960 It's in Little Elm, Texas, 1464 01:31:20.960 --> 01:31:22.660 and they're called Matadors. 1465 01:31:22.660 --> 01:31:24.200 There are a whole lot of Matadors. 1466 01:31:24.200 --> 01:31:25.040 That's why I wondered. 1467 01:31:25.040 --> 01:31:25.860 Yeah. 1468 01:31:25.860 --> 01:31:30.300 I was at church in South Lake, 1469 01:31:30.300 --> 01:31:32.660 and I had the Matador thing on it, 1470 01:31:32.660 --> 01:31:35.220 and a woman was from San Antonio. 1471 01:31:35.220 --> 01:31:36.700 She's like, is that from San Antonio? 1472 01:31:36.700 --> 01:31:37.540 I'm like, no. 1473 01:31:37.540 --> 01:31:39.020 It's Little Elm, Texas. 1474 01:31:39.020 --> 01:31:39.860 But yeah, you'll see. 1475 01:31:39.860 --> 01:31:42.260 I'm like, that's, I literally, 1476 01:31:42.260 --> 01:31:45.100 baseball moms, we sport all the things. 1477 01:31:45.100 --> 01:31:46.700 Baseball becomes life. 1478 01:31:46.700 --> 01:31:48.540 And I have hats and stuff. 1479 01:31:48.540 --> 01:31:50.300 I get self-conscious about it though, 1480 01:31:50.300 --> 01:31:52.660 because it's a Matador and it's got horns. 1481 01:31:52.660 --> 01:31:54.860 And sometimes I'm on these calls 1482 01:31:54.860 --> 01:31:56.580 and I'm like, these women don't think 1483 01:31:56.580 --> 01:31:59.980 that I have double stuff on that I'm wearing. 1484 01:31:59.980 --> 01:32:02.060 It's literally Matador. 1485 01:32:02.060 --> 01:32:02.900 Right, that's funny. 1486 01:32:02.900 --> 01:32:05.180 I'm supporting my son's baseball team, so. 1487 01:32:05.180 --> 01:32:06.020 Okay. 1488 01:32:06.940 --> 01:32:07.820 That's funny. 1489 01:32:07.820 --> 01:32:08.660 Well, go ahead. 1490 01:32:08.660 --> 01:32:09.480 Sorry, okay. 1491 01:32:09.480 --> 01:32:11.420 Let's get to your question. 1492 01:32:11.420 --> 01:32:14.260 So I'm in phase two, 1493 01:32:14.260 --> 01:32:16.180 and I just finished The Divine Feminine. 1494 01:32:16.180 --> 01:32:18.180 I previously had listened to the lessons, 1495 01:32:18.180 --> 01:32:19.420 but I wasn't in the app yet, 1496 01:32:19.420 --> 01:32:22.940 so now I'm going back through and doing them slowly. 1497 01:32:22.980 --> 01:32:26.060 But I've already heard the online dating one, 1498 01:32:27.060 --> 01:32:29.220 but I had already started online dating, 1499 01:32:29.220 --> 01:32:32.340 and I'm finding it, I'm very overwhelmed. 1500 01:32:32.340 --> 01:32:36.500 I wasn't originally, but then I joined Facebook dating, 1501 01:32:36.500 --> 01:32:39.340 and now I just feel like it's like a fire hydrate 1502 01:32:39.340 --> 01:32:44.340 is like, and I kind of don't know who to say yet. 1503 01:32:45.420 --> 01:32:49.380 Like basically, if they don't say that they're Christian, 1504 01:32:49.380 --> 01:32:51.180 or where I live in New Mexico, 1505 01:32:51.180 --> 01:32:52.900 and there's a lot of people who are Buddhist 1506 01:32:53.740 --> 01:32:55.460 and agnostic and all kinds of other things, 1507 01:32:55.460 --> 01:32:57.740 so I just X those right away. 1508 01:32:57.740 --> 01:33:00.580 But then even with the ones who are Christian, 1509 01:33:02.020 --> 01:33:03.940 there hasn't been anybody yet that I'm like, 1510 01:33:03.940 --> 01:33:07.740 oh, excited about, but I'm trying to be open. 1511 01:33:07.740 --> 01:33:11.460 So then I find like, now there's like lots of people 1512 01:33:11.460 --> 01:33:14.700 in my queue or whatever, and I can't keep up with them. 1513 01:33:14.700 --> 01:33:16.540 And I feel like I'm trying to be open, 1514 01:33:16.540 --> 01:33:18.840 but I'm not really interested. 1515 01:33:18.840 --> 01:33:19.680 Yeah. 1516 01:33:19.680 --> 01:33:21.180 And I don't have enough time 1517 01:33:21.220 --> 01:33:24.020 to have these little chitty chats all day long, 1518 01:33:24.020 --> 01:33:26.140 and I don't know what to do. 1519 01:33:26.140 --> 01:33:26.980 Yes, I- 1520 01:33:26.980 --> 01:33:29.380 I think one or two that have been good conversations, 1521 01:33:29.380 --> 01:33:30.980 and one of them we're gonna have coffee, 1522 01:33:30.980 --> 01:33:35.060 but it's over, oh yeah, it's over. 1523 01:33:35.060 --> 01:33:38.220 I get it, I 100% relate. 1524 01:33:38.220 --> 01:33:41.580 I had online dated before this community, 1525 01:33:41.580 --> 01:33:43.020 and it was overwhelming. 1526 01:33:43.020 --> 01:33:45.900 And then after I had my son, 1527 01:33:45.900 --> 01:33:48.860 and then got back onto online dating in this community, 1528 01:33:48.860 --> 01:33:50.240 it still was overwhelming. 1529 01:33:50.240 --> 01:33:52.520 I didn't have as many men responding to me 1530 01:33:52.520 --> 01:33:56.120 because I think part of it was because I had a child, 1531 01:33:56.120 --> 01:33:57.280 but it still got overwhelming 1532 01:33:57.280 --> 01:34:00.520 because my time was stretched thin. 1533 01:34:00.520 --> 01:34:05.400 And so some tips on how for you ladies to navigate this. 1534 01:34:06.560 --> 01:34:08.280 One thing that worked for me, 1535 01:34:08.280 --> 01:34:09.980 and I think works with a lot of women, 1536 01:34:09.980 --> 01:34:14.840 is set boundaries on your time for yourself. 1537 01:34:17.120 --> 01:34:19.120 Go in and just say like, 1538 01:34:19.120 --> 01:34:20.800 so for me, I had to be like, 1539 01:34:20.800 --> 01:34:24.120 okay, I'm only going to go on this site, 1540 01:34:24.120 --> 01:34:26.360 and I did the Facebook dating too. 1541 01:34:26.360 --> 01:34:28.440 I'm only gonna go on, 1542 01:34:29.720 --> 01:34:31.420 on certain days in the morning 1543 01:34:31.420 --> 01:34:32.700 when I didn't have to be at work 1544 01:34:32.700 --> 01:34:34.280 until like 10.30 in the morning 1545 01:34:34.280 --> 01:34:37.040 so I could take my kid to the bus stop. 1546 01:34:37.040 --> 01:34:38.760 And when I came home, 1547 01:34:38.760 --> 01:34:42.160 I had like two hours before I needed to like leave 1548 01:34:42.160 --> 01:34:43.440 to go to work. 1549 01:34:43.440 --> 01:34:47.320 So I would chisel out one of those hours 1550 01:34:47.320 --> 01:34:49.320 to just spend in the app. 1551 01:34:50.880 --> 01:34:53.880 And I, you know, sometimes you might need to set a timer 1552 01:34:54.920 --> 01:34:57.520 and you're only on the app for an hour. 1553 01:34:57.520 --> 01:34:58.720 Maybe it's not even an hour, 1554 01:34:58.720 --> 01:35:00.280 maybe it's just 30 minutes. 1555 01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:06.100 Okay, if an hour seems like too much and it's too overwhelming, 30 minutes. 1556 01:35:06.100 --> 01:35:08.200 And then I do the same thing at night. 1557 01:35:08.200 --> 01:35:11.120 After my son went to bed, I'm only doing this. 1558 01:35:11.120 --> 01:35:21.040 I also had to decide that I didn't always have to look through every single profile 1559 01:35:21.040 --> 01:35:25.320 and I didn't have to respond to every like. 1560 01:35:25.320 --> 01:35:29.820 If someone liked me and I was kind of intrigued by it, I might look at his profile and if 1561 01:35:29.820 --> 01:35:35.580 I thought his profile was, you know, interesting, I might like it back. 1562 01:35:35.580 --> 01:35:41.020 But I didn't feel like I needed to be the first one to send out a message, okay? 1563 01:35:41.020 --> 01:35:46.660 And then when I was receiving messages, I would read them. 1564 01:35:46.660 --> 01:35:50.660 So again, in my 30 minutes or an hour or however long you decide on what days a week that you 1565 01:35:50.660 --> 01:35:54.660 decide, you know, you can spend time reading through those messages. 1566 01:35:54.660 --> 01:36:01.980 If there was a message that was like, hey, you're beautiful, I might go look at his 1567 01:36:01.980 --> 01:36:10.300 profile and if I thought there was something there that I was like, oh, like he seems genuine. 1568 01:36:10.300 --> 01:36:14.220 Whatever it was, I might respond to him. 1569 01:36:14.220 --> 01:36:15.780 I might not. 1570 01:36:15.780 --> 01:36:17.660 You don't have to respond to every single guy. 1571 01:36:17.660 --> 01:36:22.300 I mean, I kind of got to the point where I'm like, I didn't want to respond to the, hey, 1572 01:36:22.300 --> 01:36:23.300 you're beautiful. 1573 01:36:23.540 --> 01:36:24.540 Yeah. 1574 01:36:24.540 --> 01:36:25.540 Like, okay. 1575 01:36:25.540 --> 01:36:29.140 I mean, I didn't even feel obligated to say thank you. 1576 01:36:29.140 --> 01:36:31.140 I was just like, okay, next. 1577 01:36:31.140 --> 01:36:37.940 Because again, I didn't, otherwise I, you could spend hours, hours upon hours. 1578 01:36:37.940 --> 01:36:42.260 And if that's over, like don't overwhelm yourself. 1579 01:36:42.260 --> 01:36:47.940 I feel this like weird guilt, like say I'm looking through, I'm like, okay, he's a Christian. 1580 01:36:47.980 --> 01:36:52.780 I don't, he's probably a nice person, but there's no attraction. 1581 01:36:52.780 --> 01:36:56.460 But because he's a Christian, I'm like, maybe I should be open and give him a try. 1582 01:36:56.460 --> 01:37:00.100 But then I don't, it's like this part of me wants to be like, no. 1583 01:37:00.100 --> 01:37:02.660 But I'm like, no, I should give him a try. 1584 01:37:02.660 --> 01:37:03.660 And no. 1585 01:37:03.660 --> 01:37:04.660 Yeah. 1586 01:37:04.660 --> 01:37:07.740 So that's where that's, so yeah, I think this is where you kind of balance. 1587 01:37:07.740 --> 01:37:12.460 So I'm again, helping you kind of navigate away from the feeling overwhelmed. 1588 01:37:12.460 --> 01:37:14.580 Let's put some parameters on it. 1589 01:37:14.580 --> 01:37:21.900 But I do think maybe there's something here that, you know, are, are you, are you going 1590 01:37:21.900 --> 01:37:22.900 on dates? 1591 01:37:22.900 --> 01:37:23.900 Are you getting date? 1592 01:37:23.900 --> 01:37:24.900 I am. 1593 01:37:24.900 --> 01:37:29.140 I've already, I've gone out with someone and now have a date with another person. 1594 01:37:29.140 --> 01:37:30.140 Okay. 1595 01:37:30.140 --> 01:37:34.860 As long as you keep this flow of dates going again, you don't have to feel guilty. 1596 01:37:34.860 --> 01:37:35.860 Okay. 1597 01:37:35.860 --> 01:37:36.860 Here's the thing. 1598 01:37:36.860 --> 01:37:39.060 You're not going to mess up your spirit mate. 1599 01:37:39.060 --> 01:37:40.060 Yeah. 1600 01:37:40.060 --> 01:37:44.820 Because I will tell you this, like my husband and I, when we started, once we just like 1601 01:37:44.820 --> 01:37:50.700 we got exclusive, there were other puzzle pieces that started showing us that there 1602 01:37:50.700 --> 01:37:55.780 were other ways that God could have used other people to connect us. 1603 01:37:55.780 --> 01:38:03.260 In fact, I came to Texas several weeks after we decided to be exclusive. 1604 01:38:03.260 --> 01:38:05.620 It was between Christmas and new year's. 1605 01:38:05.620 --> 01:38:08.940 So he's in the Dallas Fort Worth area, has family outside of Austin. 1606 01:38:08.940 --> 01:38:09.940 We were driving to Austin. 1607 01:38:10.820 --> 01:38:11.820 That's where Jackie is. 1608 01:38:11.820 --> 01:38:15.860 No, I was, I'm close, you know, it was close with Jackie and she's like, I'm like, Hey, 1609 01:38:15.860 --> 01:38:17.220 I'm coming down here. 1610 01:38:17.220 --> 01:38:18.220 You want to meet up with us? 1611 01:38:18.220 --> 01:38:20.260 You want to go grab breakfast or lunch? 1612 01:38:20.260 --> 01:38:26.220 So she and David met up with him and before we went out to meet up, she's like, Oh my 1613 01:38:26.220 --> 01:38:29.180 goodness, Carla, I actually know this guy. 1614 01:38:29.180 --> 01:38:35.580 This guy came across one, another woman in the community brought him to my attention 1615 01:38:35.660 --> 01:38:41.660 and she's like, she wanted me to match him with somebody in our community. 1616 01:38:41.660 --> 01:38:46.860 She's like, I, he was already on her radar under Jackie's radar. 1617 01:38:46.860 --> 01:38:48.620 So I mean, I was just like, Whoa. 1618 01:38:48.620 --> 01:38:54.140 So if I would have told my friend, no, if I didn't respond to my husband, there might 1619 01:38:54.140 --> 01:39:00.060 have been another path that God might've pushed him in my face again. 1620 01:39:00.060 --> 01:39:06.140 I say that because like, you can't mess up if you tip out on one guy, like don't think, 1621 01:39:06.140 --> 01:39:09.180 Oh, what if I just said no to my spirit mate? 1622 01:39:09.180 --> 01:39:11.180 You can't, you can't do that. 1623 01:39:11.180 --> 01:39:12.180 All right. 1624 01:39:12.180 --> 01:39:16.620 So again, one of the parameters, I feel this is important. 1625 01:39:16.620 --> 01:39:19.500 Like I like you saying like, Oh, I see that he's a Christian again. 1626 01:39:19.500 --> 01:39:24.220 We're not going to always know what their faith walk is for me. 1627 01:39:24.220 --> 01:39:29.180 If a guy didn't put that they were a Christian on their profile, like I was on the Facebook. 1628 01:39:29.180 --> 01:39:33.900 So it there's a religious thing and they can, yeah, they didn't put Christian on there. 1629 01:39:33.900 --> 01:39:35.980 I, I didn't engage with it. 1630 01:39:35.980 --> 01:39:36.980 Yeah. 1631 01:39:36.980 --> 01:39:40.540 I've been doing, I had enough guys where I felt like that was on there. 1632 01:39:40.540 --> 01:39:48.220 Now I didn't not go on a date with a guy because he didn't talk about his faith in his profile, 1633 01:39:48.220 --> 01:39:49.460 right. 1634 01:39:49.460 --> 01:39:52.700 Or didn't talk about his faith in their first interactions. 1635 01:39:52.700 --> 01:39:54.140 I still went on the date. 1636 01:39:54.140 --> 01:39:55.140 Yeah. 1637 01:39:55.140 --> 01:39:56.140 All right. 1638 01:39:56.140 --> 01:39:59.140 So those are just little things. 1639 01:39:59.140 --> 01:40:00.020 But again, I think. 1640 01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:08.400 There's something to, you know, if you find that you're constantly feeling this guilt or worry, 1641 01:40:09.680 --> 01:40:15.040 that's something to kind of go process with the Lord on. Like, where does that come from? 1642 01:40:16.080 --> 01:40:22.640 Where, like, is there something there? Is there something, like, that God wants to reveal to you, 1643 01:40:22.640 --> 01:40:28.480 to heal you from? Like, again, these are all things, ladies, I'm always all about you ladies 1644 01:40:28.480 --> 01:40:34.880 processing and looking at patterns of behavior. I think that's important, okay? I'm not saying 1645 01:40:34.880 --> 01:40:40.160 that there is something that you need to, I would just say if it constantly keeps coming up 1646 01:40:41.040 --> 01:40:45.280 and there's something that just keeps stirring and it keeps getting brought up in your spirit, 1647 01:40:45.280 --> 01:40:50.320 it might be just something that God just is, like, trying to gently highlight to you 1648 01:40:51.440 --> 01:40:57.440 to have you process through. And that goes with anything, ladies. Sometimes that's why, 1649 01:40:57.440 --> 01:41:02.240 that's why I told you, ladies, early on, like, if you're saying, oh, I went on this date and it's a 1650 01:41:02.240 --> 01:41:09.120 no, well, we want to know why. Why was it a no? You know, because is there a pattern there? Are you 1651 01:41:09.120 --> 01:41:16.560 saying no to the same type of person that really it's just a guard or it's a fear that something 1652 01:41:16.560 --> 01:41:20.160 that's happening? Because then we can help you process through that. We can go through those 1653 01:41:20.160 --> 01:41:26.560 heart works. I feel like I'm saying no because I'm like, I barely have time to keep up with 1654 01:41:26.560 --> 01:41:31.120 these handful of guys. And I'm not attracted to this person. You know, like they don't seem like 1655 01:41:31.120 --> 01:41:35.360 there's anything wrong with them, but like nothing in me is like, oh, I'm excited about him. 1656 01:41:37.280 --> 01:41:41.440 What are you basing your attraction on? Like when you say I'm not attracted to him, 1657 01:41:41.440 --> 01:41:49.600 what about them is unattractive to you? Most of the time it's more physical because I will 1658 01:41:49.600 --> 01:41:55.680 weed out the ones that are because of other reasons. Like I said, like they're agnostic or 1659 01:41:55.680 --> 01:42:01.040 yeah, they don't live nearby. I'm not able to relocate like all those things. And there are 1660 01:42:01.040 --> 01:42:07.280 a lot coming in. So I'm like, I don't have time. Yeah. You've got to filter somehow. 1661 01:42:07.280 --> 01:42:13.520 Yeah. I feel like there's some guys that it's kind of like, yes, I would give you a chance 1662 01:42:14.080 --> 01:42:21.760 and try, but I don't even have time to really keep up with these guys very well. So then it's 1663 01:42:21.760 --> 01:42:27.680 like this weird combination of feeling like I want to be open to people that I'm not generally 1664 01:42:28.640 --> 01:42:35.280 wouldn't, you know, I don't feel any, don't feel any attraction for if they are Christians, 1665 01:42:35.280 --> 01:42:39.680 at least, or look like a good person, you know what? And that's why I don't really have time. 1666 01:42:39.680 --> 01:42:46.400 So then I feel like, well, I don't know how to juggle. Plus I feel like, am I supposed to 1667 01:42:46.400 --> 01:42:50.160 respond to these guys every day? Because I feel like once you start a conversation, 1668 01:42:51.040 --> 01:42:58.160 it's like, and again, it is the holiday seasons, but yeah. Now you don't have to respond again. 1669 01:42:58.160 --> 01:43:03.920 This is when, you know, finding, finding boundaries and parameters that work for you. 1670 01:43:03.920 --> 01:43:11.040 I think that's going to be the first key is, you know, let's set some time limits and times of days. 1671 01:43:11.040 --> 01:43:16.720 And I think you, you know, you're, you're doing good about, you know, I'm only liking guys that 1672 01:43:16.720 --> 01:43:21.360 are Christian or, you know, that probably like, kind of like I did that only say Christian year, 1673 01:43:21.360 --> 01:43:27.840 if they say agnostic or, you know, Buddhist or there was, there was another one. And I don't 1674 01:43:27.840 --> 01:43:32.880 know if it's still on their spiritual, but not religious, like that one's up there a lot, 1675 01:43:32.880 --> 01:43:39.520 you know, fun fact, like that was like, before I reconnect with Jesus and I was on the apps, 1676 01:43:39.520 --> 01:43:45.600 like I used that too, cause I wasn't going to church. And so again, like it, yeah, I like, 1677 01:43:45.600 --> 01:43:50.080 I was like, I don't want that. Cause I know that there's probably some confusion there, whatever. 1678 01:43:50.080 --> 01:43:56.720 I knew that I was a Christian. It was, my faith was important. I didn't judge them for that, 1679 01:43:57.360 --> 01:44:03.120 but I just, that wasn't where I was at and that I knew what I wanted in that sense. And so yeah, 1680 01:44:03.120 --> 01:44:12.720 just picking those certain parameters with the attraction thing, like, like I said, I saw 1681 01:44:12.720 --> 01:44:19.280 pictures of my husband and I didn't think he was like super physically like drop dead gorgeous. 1682 01:44:19.280 --> 01:44:25.920 Like I, I thought he was a decent looking guy. He, his pictures looked fun. Yeah. Like a joy 1683 01:44:26.000 --> 01:44:30.800 about him. Like I was like, he's like, he'll be fun to go hang out with for sure. 1684 01:44:33.520 --> 01:44:38.400 He was on the shorter end. Like I did typically like to date taller guys. My husband is five, 1685 01:44:38.400 --> 01:44:43.760 nine now granted I'm five three. So it's still, he's taller than me, but I typically tended to 1686 01:44:43.760 --> 01:44:49.600 go for like the five 11, the six foot, the six one, you know? And so that's where I was like, 1687 01:44:49.600 --> 01:44:56.560 Oh, I want that. I just coached someone one-on-one this week. She is like five 11 and 1688 01:44:56.560 --> 01:44:59.840 she was not dating anybody that was not five. 1689 01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:04.040 I've 11 and I'm like, but you're having a hard time with date. 1690 01:45:05.200 --> 01:45:06.960 And I'm like, let's remove that. 1691 01:45:07.000 --> 01:45:10.160 Let's let's it's okay to date someone a little bit shorter. 1692 01:45:11.600 --> 01:45:17.760 So, but again, so like there's certain things like picking what, what are we 1693 01:45:17.760 --> 01:45:24.760 being picky on with physical attraction and what are we not now, again, I didn't 1694 01:45:24.760 --> 01:45:33.480 want to date someone that was like 200 pounds overweight, that just, because I 1695 01:45:34.320 --> 01:45:38.720 had a young child who plays sports, like we're active, we're on the go. 1696 01:45:39.080 --> 01:45:43.320 That was so, if I saw pictures, that was just like, yeah, that I, I'm 1697 01:45:43.320 --> 01:45:44.520 not going to get past that. 1698 01:45:45.040 --> 01:45:45.560 All right. 1699 01:45:46.000 --> 01:45:46.680 Just not. 1700 01:45:46.720 --> 01:45:47.240 All right. 1701 01:45:47.240 --> 01:45:54.400 So now guys that had dad bods, you know, I was, I have, I'm a mom. 1702 01:45:54.400 --> 01:45:56.200 I'm, I was in my late thirties. 1703 01:45:56.200 --> 01:45:57.400 I'm 41 now. 1704 01:45:57.880 --> 01:45:59.640 I'm no spring chicken. 1705 01:46:00.240 --> 01:46:03.200 You know, I'm not 20 some odd years old, a spring chicken myself. 1706 01:46:03.600 --> 01:46:07.720 So I was like, I'm not going to, you know, Oh, I'm only going to 1707 01:46:07.720 --> 01:46:08.920 date a guy with a six pack. 1708 01:46:09.400 --> 01:46:12.280 Like he's got to be muscular and built because guess what? 1709 01:46:12.320 --> 01:46:13.760 I wasn't muscular and built. 1710 01:46:14.080 --> 01:46:15.640 I'm not in the gym five days a week. 1711 01:46:15.640 --> 01:46:19.520 Now, some of y'all, your health and fitness is super important. 1712 01:46:20.200 --> 01:46:21.800 Like that is important to you. 1713 01:46:21.840 --> 01:46:23.040 That's your lifestyle. 1714 01:46:23.040 --> 01:46:25.520 So you need someone that's going to match that lifestyle. 1715 01:46:26.080 --> 01:46:30.040 So again, it's just picking what physical attraction things like 1716 01:46:31.000 --> 01:46:32.680 put some parameters on that. 1717 01:46:32.720 --> 01:46:33.200 Okay. 1718 01:46:33.200 --> 01:46:37.720 I don't say if you find like, you're just like, I know I can't, no, 1719 01:46:37.760 --> 01:46:39.680 this guy, I cannot look at him. 1720 01:46:40.200 --> 01:46:41.840 Then don't, don't swipe on him. 1721 01:46:43.080 --> 01:46:43.440 All right. 1722 01:46:43.440 --> 01:46:45.240 We don't have to feel guilty for that. 1723 01:46:45.280 --> 01:46:45.920 Okay. 1724 01:46:46.480 --> 01:46:47.560 Now I like that. 1725 01:46:47.560 --> 01:46:49.720 I love your heart that you're open. 1726 01:46:50.640 --> 01:46:53.360 I think that's, that's, that's what we teach you. 1727 01:46:53.840 --> 01:46:54.480 Okay. 1728 01:46:54.720 --> 01:47:02.000 But again, physical attraction is not going to be the number one thing because 1729 01:47:02.000 --> 01:47:05.960 there's other levels of intimacy that come before the physical intimacy. 1730 01:47:08.280 --> 01:47:11.880 But you still need to be physically attracted to your spirit mate. 1731 01:47:13.360 --> 01:47:14.800 Like that has to happen. 1732 01:47:16.000 --> 01:47:16.600 Okay. 1733 01:47:16.840 --> 01:47:19.360 Like, that's what I say to my, like my husband at first, I 1734 01:47:19.440 --> 01:47:21.200 didn't have this physical drawn. 1735 01:47:21.440 --> 01:47:29.520 Now I know my past when I was in my twenties, I was very like my picking 1736 01:47:29.520 --> 01:47:32.000 of men was based on their looks. 1737 01:47:32.760 --> 01:47:35.760 When I was in my twenties and I was unhealthy and all that. 1738 01:47:36.080 --> 01:47:37.280 That's what I pick. 1739 01:47:37.280 --> 01:47:41.920 I only dated guys that I was strongly physically attracted to. 1740 01:47:42.280 --> 01:47:43.840 And that was very unhealthy. 1741 01:47:43.920 --> 01:47:47.800 That was coming from a very unhealthy, unhealed heart. 1742 01:47:48.640 --> 01:47:52.840 Now, as I got older and I worked in counseling and I joined this community, 1743 01:47:53.120 --> 01:47:54.560 I worked through the heart work. 1744 01:47:54.840 --> 01:48:01.600 I started to see why I was doing that and healing those whys. 1745 01:48:02.640 --> 01:48:07.600 And so then when I started going into dating, that wasn't my focus. 1746 01:48:08.080 --> 01:48:13.480 That wasn't where I was being drawn to because the Lord was showing me other 1747 01:48:13.520 --> 01:48:17.640 ways to find attraction in people and in guys. 1748 01:48:18.240 --> 01:48:25.120 And that's my husband's heart was what I was strongly attracted to first. 1749 01:48:26.160 --> 01:48:32.360 And then after that, the physical attraction started unlocking. 1750 01:48:33.400 --> 01:48:37.120 And now I'm like, I look at my husband, I'm like, Hey, he's hot. 1751 01:48:38.160 --> 01:48:40.240 Like, it's funny. 1752 01:48:40.240 --> 01:48:43.160 Cause I also used to have a thing with guys with facial hair. 1753 01:48:43.160 --> 01:48:47.320 Like I liked dating guys with facial hair when I was in my mid thirties, my 1754 01:48:47.320 --> 01:48:50.880 husband, when I met him, didn't have facial hair and he was shaved. 1755 01:48:51.320 --> 01:48:54.880 It wasn't until after we got married, he let his like facial hair grow out. 1756 01:48:54.880 --> 01:48:57.400 And I was like, yes. 1757 01:48:57.440 --> 01:48:58.760 And so now he has facial hair. 1758 01:48:58.760 --> 01:49:00.720 He's like the beard and the mustache and all that. 1759 01:49:00.720 --> 01:49:01.360 And I love it. 1760 01:49:02.960 --> 01:49:06.360 And so there is like, I look at him, I'm like, dang, he is one 1761 01:49:06.680 --> 01:49:09.200 handsome, like masculine looking man. 1762 01:49:09.920 --> 01:49:13.800 So just know like physical attraction is still important. 1763 01:49:13.840 --> 01:49:18.200 It doesn't have to be the number one thing in the very beginning. 1764 01:49:18.200 --> 01:49:23.040 And so that's why we do tell you ladies be open to dating somebody that you might 1765 01:49:23.040 --> 01:49:29.160 not be overly physically drawn to, and maybe spend time going out on a date. 1766 01:49:29.160 --> 01:49:34.200 If that opportunity is available and find characteristics and qualities 1767 01:49:34.200 --> 01:49:38.960 that are attractive in them, that you would like a spirit mate to have. 1768 01:49:39.280 --> 01:49:41.840 I coach women on that all the time. 1769 01:49:42.280 --> 01:49:46.920 When you're making your dating profiles, like what characteristics and 1770 01:49:46.920 --> 01:49:49.760 qualities in a man are attractive to you? 1771 01:49:49.800 --> 01:49:51.240 What are you looking for? 1772 01:49:52.640 --> 01:49:58.840 I love a man that has a servant's heart, a man that's willing to serve because 1773 01:49:58.960 --> 01:49:59.960 that for me. 1774 01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:06.700 important because I find that to be very sexy in a husband. He's going to lay 1775 01:50:06.700 --> 01:50:11.740 down his life and serve his family and his wife the way Christ served the 1776 01:50:11.740 --> 01:50:19.560 church. So for me that was an indicator of a good godly man that had fruits of 1777 01:50:19.560 --> 01:50:24.820 the Spirit. He's gentle. He is patient. Like I have a lot of patience for things. 1778 01:50:24.820 --> 01:50:29.500 One thing, there's a lot of things I don't have patience for and he has it. 1779 01:50:29.500 --> 01:50:37.300 I'm like thank you Jesus because I need his patience at time. So it's finding 1780 01:50:37.300 --> 01:50:40.820 qualities and characteristics. That's why we tell you ladies to go on these 1781 01:50:40.820 --> 01:50:47.980 discovery dates. Start learning what you find attractive in men. Not just look 1782 01:50:47.980 --> 01:50:55.660 wise but character art wise. I think for me to get to that point because it's 1783 01:50:55.660 --> 01:51:01.660 there's too much. Well then let's just have you start. I don't think that's because of me 1784 01:51:01.660 --> 01:51:08.460 being so wonderful. I think it's just like Facebook floods you with stuff and I 1785 01:51:08.460 --> 01:51:12.940 guess the thing is again like I feel like I am being open to people. I 1786 01:51:12.940 --> 01:51:16.660 haven't been attracted to a single one of them but I'm like okay give it a try 1787 01:51:16.660 --> 01:51:25.900 but now I have like all these guys that I'm like how do I start filtering it so 1788 01:51:25.900 --> 01:51:30.580 I'm at least excited about some of these you know. Yeah I think just you know and 1789 01:51:30.580 --> 01:51:33.980 on some of those like as you're engaging if you don't kind of feel the connection 1790 01:51:33.980 --> 01:51:41.340 just kind of you know let them start taking the lead. Okay. And inviting you 1791 01:51:41.340 --> 01:51:46.220 out to go on dates. You know you don't have to respond to everybody right away 1792 01:51:46.300 --> 01:51:51.060 if there's just kind of like okay I'm not as excited about this one. You know 1793 01:51:51.060 --> 01:51:56.180 still keep a trend like still try to get yourself a date or two every now and 1794 01:51:56.180 --> 01:52:00.820 then and just get that into practice and one thing I'll say about online dating 1795 01:52:00.820 --> 01:52:07.620 ladies is there's an ebb and flow. There are times where it will be flooded. It 1796 01:52:07.620 --> 01:52:13.620 will be raining men hallelujah it's raining men. All right and then there's 1797 01:52:13.620 --> 01:52:21.540 times where you're like wait a minute like okay like what's going on like so 1798 01:52:21.540 --> 01:52:26.860 just know and pray and pray for that pray. Ask the Lord to kind of start 1799 01:52:26.860 --> 01:52:32.620 filtering some of it. Okay. Ask him to help in that. Ladies you're allowed to pray to God 1800 01:52:32.620 --> 01:52:39.700 and ask for what you need and what you want and what you desire. Lord I am 1801 01:52:39.700 --> 01:52:45.300 struggling at managing all this. I'm having a really hard time with getting 1802 01:52:45.300 --> 01:52:50.300 excited and finding men attractive. I'm feeling overwhelmed. Lord can you can you 1803 01:52:50.300 --> 01:52:56.220 take some of this from me. Lord I need your help to start filtering the men on 1804 01:52:56.220 --> 01:53:02.380 this on this app. I'm I am being obedient to you and I'm going to online dating 1805 01:53:02.380 --> 01:53:08.460 and I need you I need you to partner with me in this Lord. Help me to filter 1806 01:53:08.460 --> 01:53:14.220 this out. Lord give me peace. Lord remove the shame and guilt that I'm feeling. 1807 01:53:14.220 --> 01:53:22.340 That's right. You know sit with that journal that speak to him. Ask him. Have 1808 01:53:22.340 --> 01:53:27.940 that relationship with the Lord. Ladies I will tell you this community can really 1809 01:53:27.940 --> 01:53:34.260 unlock some things in your intimacy with the Father. You are in a partner. Yes 1810 01:53:34.380 --> 01:53:40.820 we're here as coaches to help you along the way but the number one matchmaker is 1811 01:53:40.820 --> 01:53:47.820 your Heavenly Father. Partner with him. Invite him in. All right. He's not gonna 1812 01:53:47.820 --> 01:53:54.740 force his will. He's a gentleman. He's not gonna force anything but when we 1813 01:53:54.740 --> 01:54:01.740 invite him in and we ask for him to do and help us he'll come in because he's a 1814 01:54:01.740 --> 01:54:10.460 gentleman. He'll do that for us. Okay. Thank you. You are welcome. All right 1815 01:54:10.460 --> 01:54:17.580 Catherine. Hi. How are you? How are you? Good. You're new to Phase 2 right? Awesome. 1816 01:54:17.580 --> 01:54:23.580 Welcome. Awesome. Thank you. Okay so my question is if you're you've gone on a 1817 01:54:23.580 --> 01:54:26.660 couple dates with someone and they have the non-negotiables they seem like a 1818 01:54:26.660 --> 01:54:31.300 really nice person but you're not sure if they're a personality fit or you'd 1819 01:54:31.300 --> 01:54:35.980 have fun together how much time do you give that and like what do you recommend 1820 01:54:35.980 --> 01:54:41.220 to figure out if those things are a fit? Okay so let me make sure I'm hearing you 1821 01:54:41.220 --> 01:54:47.180 so you're talking to someone you've gone on a few dates already. Okay. Two dates. 1822 01:54:47.180 --> 01:54:56.500 Okay. I say within two or three dates you typically will start feeling like is it 1823 01:54:56.500 --> 01:54:59.340 a yes is it a no? 1824 01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:04.000 Are there other guys that you're talking to right now? 1825 01:55:04.000 --> 01:55:05.000 Mm-hmm. 1826 01:55:05.000 --> 01:55:06.000 Yes. 1827 01:55:06.000 --> 01:55:07.000 Okay. 1828 01:55:07.000 --> 01:55:08.000 So it's not like this is the only one. 1829 01:55:08.000 --> 01:55:12.560 I'm going to keep it around and kind of see what happens. 1830 01:55:12.560 --> 01:55:18.000 What is leading you to think that this is a no or you're just not sure about? 1831 01:55:18.000 --> 01:55:24.200 Well, I mean, we'll get to a point in the conversation where I'm like, okay, I'm ready 1832 01:55:24.200 --> 01:55:25.200 to go home. 1833 01:55:25.200 --> 01:55:29.440 But we haven't done any, we've done lots of sitting and talking. 1834 01:55:29.440 --> 01:55:33.640 So I'm hopeful that we'll do an activity that'll show some things. 1835 01:55:33.640 --> 01:55:34.640 Okay. 1836 01:55:34.640 --> 01:55:35.640 Yeah. 1837 01:55:35.640 --> 01:55:36.640 So that's where, okay. 1838 01:55:36.640 --> 01:55:37.640 So you've been on two dates. 1839 01:55:37.640 --> 01:55:40.800 It's kind of been sitting and chatting and just kind of getting to know, and maybe the 1840 01:55:40.800 --> 01:55:42.040 flow is not there. 1841 01:55:42.040 --> 01:55:47.360 Maybe there's still some, again, there's some nerves that come, personality stuff, like 1842 01:55:47.360 --> 01:55:52.760 opening up, like typically it can take people a couple of dates before they really start 1843 01:55:52.760 --> 01:55:54.240 opening up. 1844 01:55:54.280 --> 01:55:59.320 So I like that you mentioned like you're just sitting on dates. 1845 01:55:59.320 --> 01:56:06.880 So that's when ladies, I really strongly encourage, don't just do the coffee date. 1846 01:56:06.880 --> 01:56:12.960 Don't just do the, go have a meal date, get active, go do something, find something that 1847 01:56:12.960 --> 01:56:15.100 you enjoy doing. 1848 01:56:15.100 --> 01:56:22.800 So important, you know, whether it's, I mean, it's getting colder now, like there's ax throwing. 1849 01:56:22.800 --> 01:56:27.200 I always go to that because that's a lot of fun. 1850 01:56:27.200 --> 01:56:32.360 You know, going somewhere like we just got a dart board for my youngest nine-year-old 1851 01:56:32.360 --> 01:56:38.520 and we put it up in the garage and we have so much fun doing that, but I'm like, man, 1852 01:56:38.520 --> 01:56:42.840 this would be a cool date to go on, like go throw darts. 1853 01:56:42.840 --> 01:56:46.960 You know, I, if you like, I'm a sports person. 1854 01:56:46.960 --> 01:56:50.640 I have, I have, I had a young, I mean, I had a nine-year-old that, well, he was seven at 1855 01:56:50.640 --> 01:56:52.760 the time, play sports. 1856 01:56:52.760 --> 01:56:59.120 I'm competitive, me and my family and my son and my brother and my sister-in-law, we would 1857 01:56:59.120 --> 01:57:03.600 play Uno and y'all, we were cutthroat with my son. 1858 01:57:03.600 --> 01:57:08.800 I mean, I remember when he started playing at like four or five years old, we were hard 1859 01:57:08.800 --> 01:57:12.360 on him because we were just competitive in nature. 1860 01:57:12.360 --> 01:57:18.680 And so if you've got to say, okay, what about me is something that's going to show up that 1861 01:57:18.680 --> 01:57:23.280 I want to see how they interact with me in who I am. 1862 01:57:23.280 --> 01:57:27.880 So it was important for me and my husband. 1863 01:57:27.880 --> 01:57:33.480 I needed him to know like, okay, he's going to have to hang with me when I'm competitive. 1864 01:57:33.480 --> 01:57:37.380 Like cause I'm at the baseball field and I'm screaming at coaches and umps and all sorts 1865 01:57:37.380 --> 01:57:38.380 of things. 1866 01:57:38.380 --> 01:57:41.200 Ladies like, it can be pretty embarrassing at times. 1867 01:57:41.200 --> 01:57:42.200 All right. 1868 01:57:42.200 --> 01:57:48.600 I've calmed down thanks to my husband since I used to, but before I met him, but I mean, 1869 01:57:49.520 --> 01:57:50.520 I just competitive. 1870 01:57:50.520 --> 01:57:52.640 One of our, I think it was our second date. 1871 01:57:52.640 --> 01:58:00.280 He took me to an arcade and we played arcade games and he got to see my competitive side 1872 01:58:00.280 --> 01:58:04.000 because we were playing this like driving game and I kicked his butt and I made sure 1873 01:58:04.000 --> 01:58:05.000 he knew. 1874 01:58:05.000 --> 01:58:08.760 I'm like, Hey, and I'm like, he's like, well, I let you. 1875 01:58:08.760 --> 01:58:09.760 And I'm like, no, you didn't. 1876 01:58:09.760 --> 01:58:12.680 I saw you really trying to win. 1877 01:58:12.680 --> 01:58:14.800 And I'm like, I can see how the way you're behaving. 1878 01:58:14.800 --> 01:58:16.420 You don't like the fact that I beat you. 1879 01:58:16.420 --> 01:58:17.420 And I did. 1880 01:58:17.420 --> 01:58:19.380 And you weren't trying to let me win. 1881 01:58:19.380 --> 01:58:22.660 And so I got to see that we could have fun doing that. 1882 01:58:22.660 --> 01:58:27.980 And even now, like this weekend, we went to an arcade and we played video games. 1883 01:58:27.980 --> 01:58:30.060 I, he loves video games. 1884 01:58:30.060 --> 01:58:34.500 I do not, but it's still competitive and fun. 1885 01:58:34.500 --> 01:58:38.140 And so we were able to find something that we both enjoy. 1886 01:58:38.140 --> 01:58:40.180 And so that was, that was our second day. 1887 01:58:40.180 --> 01:58:41.780 And he came up with that one. 1888 01:58:41.780 --> 01:58:45.020 Now, sometimes guys will come up with those and sometimes they won't. 1889 01:58:45.020 --> 01:58:51.820 Sometimes we have to, you know, invite them to, you know, come up with those fun ideas. 1890 01:58:51.820 --> 01:58:56.540 You know, maybe it, you know, maybe it is going and playing darts or going to an arcade 1891 01:58:56.540 --> 01:59:02.060 or going bowling or, I mean, go, maybe it's rock climbing. 1892 01:59:02.060 --> 01:59:05.940 There's a lot of places I know in this area that have like rock climbing walls and all 1893 01:59:05.940 --> 01:59:07.020 sorts of stuff. 1894 01:59:07.020 --> 01:59:08.020 There's go-karts. 1895 01:59:08.020 --> 01:59:12.780 Like we have this big place called Andretti's that's in like the colony. 1896 01:59:12.780 --> 01:59:13.780 So, you know, yeah. 1897 01:59:13.780 --> 01:59:14.860 So there's all that. 1898 01:59:14.860 --> 01:59:17.660 I mean, there's fine, certain things. 1899 01:59:17.660 --> 01:59:19.860 There's escape rooms. 1900 01:59:19.860 --> 01:59:25.740 Y'all, that I always think would be a great date because you can see how someone responds 1901 01:59:25.740 --> 01:59:29.300 under pressure, right? 1902 01:59:29.300 --> 01:59:32.900 How are they going to respond when they're put in a situation and they're like under 1903 01:59:32.900 --> 01:59:34.460 some pressure? 1904 01:59:34.460 --> 01:59:35.780 Are they going to have patience? 1905 01:59:35.780 --> 01:59:38.060 Are they going to be kind with you? 1906 01:59:38.060 --> 01:59:38.420 Right? 1907 01:59:38.420 --> 01:59:42.580 This is where you start seeing parts of their character coming out. 1908 01:59:42.700 --> 01:59:47.220 So I say third date, make it active. 1909 01:59:47.220 --> 01:59:51.060 See if there's something fun that you can do that, you know, you would enjoy and see 1910 01:59:51.060 --> 01:59:52.780 if he can hang. 1911 01:59:52.780 --> 01:59:58.020 And if you just don't see that it's there, then you don't have to keep pressing on that. 1912 01:59:58.020 --> 01:59:59.860 You know, keep getting to know more people. 1913 02:00:00.000 --> 02:00:05.140 You know see if he kind of takes the lead if he doesn't he fizzles out then you know 1914 02:00:05.140 --> 02:00:10.180 A lot of times we put so much pressure on. Oh, I don't know how I feel like, you know 1915 02:00:10.180 --> 02:00:12.040 I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should end it 1916 02:00:12.040 --> 02:00:17.480 I don't know sometimes it naturally just fizzles out and we don't even have to put pressure on it 1917 02:00:17.480 --> 02:00:18.980 I noticed that happened with me 1918 02:00:18.980 --> 02:00:24.040 I would get so worked up like I don't know if I I'm into this guy and I don't know what to do and then 1919 02:00:24.040 --> 02:00:26.940 I wouldn't need to do anything because it would just 1920 02:00:26.940 --> 02:00:28.940 Fizzle out 1921 02:00:30.300 --> 02:00:35.840 So, yeah, I'd say I always tell you ladies two or three dates two or three dates, you know 1922 02:00:35.840 --> 02:00:40.940 Spend a couple weeks really trying to get to know them. You're still getting to know other people, you know 1923 02:00:41.140 --> 02:00:48.740 See if there's just that intentionality and then if you're not there, it's okay because here's the thing and 1924 02:00:48.740 --> 02:00:50.540 As 1925 02:00:50.540 --> 02:00:54.420 Long as it doesn't end with like a lot of like animosity 1926 02:00:54.580 --> 02:00:59.860 It doesn't mean that it can't circle back around if it's intent like if that's what God intended 1927 02:01:00.300 --> 02:01:05.740 Now I've seen that happen in this community where I think even on one of the love seats 1928 02:01:06.900 --> 02:01:11.940 Ladies, I think I don't know if you guys have access to that in phase two. I'll have to double-check 1929 02:01:12.700 --> 02:01:14.340 but we have 1930 02:01:14.340 --> 02:01:16.700 Occasionally, especially in phase three. We'll have what? 1931 02:01:17.300 --> 02:01:23.660 Love story that comes on and we'll get people from our community that are now in marriages or in 1932 02:01:23.940 --> 02:01:30.740 engagements or relationships and they'll the the man and the wife will come in and they kind of walk through and share their love story and 1933 02:01:30.780 --> 02:01:34.600 There was one women one woman and and this couple in the community 1934 02:01:34.820 --> 02:01:40.900 they had been introduced to each other like years ago, and they just weren't interested and then 1935 02:01:42.260 --> 02:01:45.940 Like I think it was something like 10 or 14. I can't even remember like 1936 02:01:46.700 --> 02:01:48.700 It was a long period of time 1937 02:01:49.020 --> 02:01:50.500 where 1938 02:01:50.500 --> 02:01:56.860 They both came up in their spirit and thought I wonder how they're doing and they were in community with each other 1939 02:01:56.860 --> 02:02:01.740 and so they literally they they ended up reconnecting and 1940 02:02:02.860 --> 02:02:04.860 Like now they're married 1941 02:02:05.460 --> 02:02:10.060 So you just never really know like things can kind of come full circle 1942 02:02:10.060 --> 02:02:15.700 I think at the time like I don't think she was attracted to him. There was something about him and then 1943 02:02:16.540 --> 02:02:21.060 She was in the same circle, I think she might have saw a social media post and there was something about him 1944 02:02:21.060 --> 02:02:25.300 She's like there's a change in him. There's a shift. There's something different 1945 02:02:25.340 --> 02:02:29.180 That's there now that wasn't before and it drew her in 1946 02:02:30.180 --> 02:02:32.180 So you just never know 1947 02:02:33.900 --> 02:02:39.660 All right, thank you couple dates and then yeah and then keep us posted 1948 02:02:40.220 --> 02:02:46.180 You know come into the community let us know what's going on what is your interaction so so so important 1949 02:02:47.380 --> 02:02:48.860 Lisa 1950 02:02:48.860 --> 02:02:50.860 How how are you? Oh 1951 02:02:51.900 --> 02:02:53.900 You're muted. I 1952 02:02:54.660 --> 02:02:56.660 Do that all the time 1953 02:02:56.860 --> 02:03:02.820 Let's try that. I'm good. I'm good. Hello everybody. This is my third week in the phase two 1954 02:03:03.540 --> 02:03:07.060 One week I had to do it with I was working and I had it on 1955 02:03:07.900 --> 02:03:09.220 No video 1956 02:03:09.220 --> 02:03:10.740 so 1957 02:03:10.740 --> 02:03:16.940 So my question is probably on the opposite end of the spectrum of most of you younger girls, so I'm 63 1958 02:03:16.940 --> 02:03:22.700 I was married a really long time. My husband passed away seven years ago and 1959 02:03:24.900 --> 02:03:31.820 So I you know online dating was never a thing so I am I am diligently do it 1960 02:03:32.020 --> 02:03:34.020 yeah, I 1961 02:03:34.140 --> 02:03:42.020 You know, I've investigated all kinds of different apps and I ended up, you know with the recommendation one free one paid 1962 02:03:42.660 --> 02:03:49.340 yep, and so I basically am having the opposite but Lucy started out with I partly have any 1963 02:03:49.700 --> 02:03:52.660 replies at all and I'm doing the thing like 1964 02:03:54.460 --> 02:03:57.860 Liking want, you know, I'm on Christian mingle and Facebook dating 1965 02:03:58.420 --> 02:04:02.880 Mm-hmm, and it this Facebook dating is in my age bracket 1966 02:04:04.020 --> 02:04:05.700 It's pretty gross 1967 02:04:05.700 --> 02:04:07.740 It's pretty gross there there 1968 02:04:08.260 --> 02:04:10.020 the majority 1969 02:04:10.020 --> 02:04:12.140 like one out of twenty might not be 1970 02:04:12.940 --> 02:04:16.060 really obese and I'm just not into that and 1971 02:04:17.340 --> 02:04:22.340 So, you know that that's that could be just a lot like you're just going through like that 1972 02:04:23.180 --> 02:04:29.060 Okay, so on Facebook dating I do have some likes but they're almost all those kind of likes. Okay, and 1973 02:04:30.020 --> 02:04:35.100 Or else it says what you said spiritual if it says spiritual and not Christian 1974 02:04:35.100 --> 02:04:41.580 I just swipe swipe swipe or multiple marriages, you know, I'm just I was married one time. I'm open. I'm 1975 02:04:42.260 --> 02:04:44.260 open 1976 02:04:44.380 --> 02:04:46.380 In the right situation 1977 02:04:46.500 --> 02:04:52.660 To get involved with someone that's been divorced or but quite a few multiple divorces. So 1978 02:04:53.260 --> 02:04:57.460 Anyway, I'm not I'm not like no, you know, I'm not gonna marry someone. Yeah 1979 02:04:57.460 --> 02:04:59.980 That one I would you know 1980 02:05:00.000 --> 02:05:13.000 That's not, that's not a no so but it is open to that for sure. I mean, but I understand like that stuff that you will like that, that would be a yellow flag like you want it, you're going to want to know more information but it's not information you're 1981 02:05:13.000 --> 02:05:23.000 going to know the story when it got that far and if we both feel interested in each other, I would want them to know my story I want to know their story so it's not. 1982 02:05:23.000 --> 02:05:38.000 It's not a given no and it's not a given yes it's it. I'm willing. Okay, I'm willing to relocate I'm willing but so on the Christian mingle, you can put a longer bio you know Facebook, you can put 500 characters on the Facebook thing so it's hard 1983 02:05:38.000 --> 02:05:51.000 to it's hard to weed anything. Yes, yeah I had a coach someone went on one this week and we were going through that was like oh yeah I forgot Facebook only allows you so many yeah 500 characters so I've, I wrote it and rewrote it I got a couple friends 1984 02:05:51.000 --> 02:06:04.000 like would you screen this and I tweaked it and enough to be to screen things a little bit by what I said. So, I'm not that you know you can tell I'm not just like looking for a hookup or something. 1985 02:06:05.000 --> 02:06:20.000 That's another thing to like your profile so Lisa was saying like she's getting feedback from her friends and stuff ladies bring your profiles before you post them into our community screenshot then type them out as coaches will go through we can help you like I just did a one on one call. 1986 02:06:21.000 --> 02:06:37.000 This week, and I was like girls and send it my way I will I will give you feedback so just know in the app if you do that in the app. Okay, so the one on one I that was like a paid coaching session but you can put that in, in the phase two. 1987 02:06:38.000 --> 02:06:40.000 Right. 1988 02:06:40.000 --> 02:06:53.000 So yeah I like that Lisa I like that you did that that you're getting. Yeah, I'm trying to you know I decided a friend of mine that is acquainted with Jackie and has been in some different work groups with her is the one that recommend the program to me. 1989 02:06:54.000 --> 02:07:07.000 I know I'm older than the majority but I've seen there's some that's in their 60s. Yeah, we have a handful. Yeah. One of the coaches in phase one was a widow herself and she replied to me so you know I don't have a mindset that I'm a widow and that I have to marry 1990 02:07:07.000 --> 02:07:23.000 a widow but I have it stretching to me because a lot of the commentary feedback, all those kind of things doesn't really relate to me but I'm asking, you know, teach me show me kill me grow man, I want to avail myself of things I can learn. 1991 02:07:24.000 --> 02:07:40.000 I have done like the drop the hanky thing, or if any, anyone who's profile, lets me realize like I would like to get to know them better. Yeah, but not a single one in three weeks has clicked a mutual like. 1992 02:07:40.000 --> 02:07:55.000 Have you sent messages. Yes, I've sent some emails or say send some emails, generating some of that 100% I have all except one, and the one was not really, really very far from me. 1993 02:07:55.000 --> 02:08:09.000 He lives in central Florida and he lived maybe 20 minutes away, but by the address that's on there. And it seemed, I was like very interested like I would really if this man reads my profile interest to get to know me I would like to get to know him. 1994 02:08:09.000 --> 02:08:11.000 Yeah, yeah. 1995 02:08:12.000 --> 02:08:21.000 I reported it and blocked it and everything is the most disgusting on the Christian mingle which is supposedly. I know. 1996 02:08:21.000 --> 02:08:38.000 But anyway, it's discouraging because, um, you know, I want to do the seven dates or whatever but I don't know, I don't know, don't been almost a month now and hasn't really happened so I've been on zoom date from somebody on Facebook date. 1997 02:08:39.000 --> 02:08:54.000 And we both realized we're in the same stage of life and everything but he has something on his mind he's wants to retire and just have fun and I want to be refired and I'm ministry minded and you know there was like your guys's alignment was not going in that direction. 1998 02:08:54.000 --> 02:09:04.000 But he was a gentleman, it was a good experience. But that was off Facebook dating and that's the only one that's gone anywhere with. 1999 02:09:05.000 --> 02:09:11.000 That's my question. It's just keep pressing keep persevering. Okay. 2000 02:09:12.000 --> 02:09:38.000 I think you're doing a really great job and again I 100% understand the stresses of online dating, especially when it's just, there's no attraction there's like they're gross and all that kind of stuff I, I'm so sorry that you've experienced for you had someone being completely inappropriate unfortunately like I wish there was a way for us to filter those things out but it will happen. 2001 02:09:39.000 --> 02:09:54.000 We just coach you on how to bless and block like reported right right that's what I did and I reported it. We don't have to carry my money back actually because his his it's probably like a scammer because it's like broken English in the response. 2002 02:09:54.000 --> 02:09:57.000 Yeah, yeah. And so you'll and you'll get some of that. 2003 02:09:57.000 --> 02:10:00.000 I say you know you've been doing this for a month so you got the Facebook. 2004 02:10:00.000 --> 02:10:05.120 the Christian mingle and again ladies just because and we always get that well I need to be on 2005 02:10:05.120 --> 02:10:10.320 Christian dating sites ladies there's Christians that are on non-Christian dating sites and there's 2006 02:10:10.320 --> 02:10:15.760 non-Christians on Christians dating sites. I did try to I did try two other ones over single. 2007 02:10:16.320 --> 02:10:26.080 Okay I would say stick with stick with a couple let it like go through it for a couple months 2008 02:10:26.080 --> 02:10:31.280 if you're kind of like I say give maybe Christian mingle one because that's the paid one. 2009 02:10:31.840 --> 02:10:36.400 Give Christian mingle another month if you're still not seeing any traction 2010 02:10:36.400 --> 02:10:41.520 shift to a different paid one. Right right well it's it's a three month so yeah three 2011 02:10:41.520 --> 02:10:48.160 months you've got the three months for it after three months and it's go shift to another one 2012 02:10:48.160 --> 02:10:54.240 maybe jump on it maybe do two free ones see how that goes a lot of these dating sites 2013 02:10:54.240 --> 02:11:02.400 will let you try out their site for free first. Yeah I did that with a free version yeah upward 2014 02:11:02.400 --> 02:11:08.320 and everybody is super far away but and it does say that on the when you enter your data 2015 02:11:08.960 --> 02:11:16.080 that you may have so a minority of people in your area so yeah and that's and I always say that too 2016 02:11:16.080 --> 02:11:20.160 like just because one app doesn't work for you doesn't mean that it's not going to work for 2017 02:11:20.160 --> 02:11:25.440 somebody else and just because somebody else has an app that works great for them it may not because 2018 02:11:25.440 --> 02:11:32.880 again the whole demographic thing are you pretty set in where you have to stay in Florida and stay 2019 02:11:32.880 --> 02:11:39.520 in your area? No no I'm not I'm willing to move in the right circumstances. Okay so yeah I would 2020 02:11:39.520 --> 02:11:46.320 even say you know broad your your radius a little bit I had to do that I didn't want to 2021 02:11:47.280 --> 02:11:52.720 right I did not want to and that's when like I said I was that was a pin I was I held on to for 2022 02:11:52.720 --> 02:11:58.080 a very long time and it wasn't until I finally was like Jackie's like girl I don't think your 2023 02:11:58.080 --> 02:12:03.840 husband lives near you and I was like fine God's just gonna have to do something I was kind of at 2024 02:12:03.840 --> 02:12:09.280 my limit I mean I had been in this program for over two years and I was just kind of done I was 2025 02:12:09.280 --> 02:12:15.120 very discouraged she saw that a lot of other women in the community saw that she reached out to me 2026 02:12:15.120 --> 02:12:19.680 and that's when I finally was like all right fine if I have to date someone out of my area 2027 02:12:20.320 --> 02:12:27.040 I'll be open to it but I don't want to move sure my husband popped in I thought he lived in Florida 2028 02:12:27.040 --> 02:12:33.760 he didn't he lived in Texas and I was like fine whatever and so I mean obviously that God opened 2029 02:12:33.760 --> 02:12:39.440 doors and showed me that moving was his plan and his purpose doesn't mean that this move has been 2030 02:12:39.440 --> 02:12:44.640 easy for me there's a lot of growing in that process but I would say open up your you know 2031 02:12:44.640 --> 02:12:50.480 your demographic I do I have it big I have it broad my question is in another week or so when 2032 02:12:50.480 --> 02:12:56.480 I've finished I only have one video left to watch the boundaries I've watched half of it but I 2033 02:12:56.480 --> 02:13:04.000 haven't you know spent the week focusing on that so when you're in phase three does this last year 2034 02:13:04.000 --> 02:13:11.360 single have any type of online dating community itself so there is so we do community events so 2035 02:13:11.360 --> 02:13:18.560 there are some men that are in our community it's not impossible there are women that have 2036 02:13:18.560 --> 02:13:26.080 connected to men in our community I will don't let that be your only source sure sure I just 2037 02:13:26.080 --> 02:13:32.480 wondered what what is face we do we have we have you know usually like once a month we do 2038 02:13:32.480 --> 02:13:40.160 a loveseat single spotlight we might have a man or two on and they we do fun like meetup events 2039 02:13:40.160 --> 02:13:46.400 and things like that usually once a month so that's an option we have also it's called spirit 2040 02:13:46.400 --> 02:13:54.640 mate match and so when you enter into phase three you will fill out your information and and and it 2041 02:13:54.640 --> 02:14:02.320 goes into our system we have a whole dating database that Jackie uses and she can help 2042 02:14:02.320 --> 02:14:08.880 utilize that to match people it doesn't mean that there you get in that and you'll have a match right 2043 02:14:08.880 --> 02:14:15.840 away but it's possible so she's curated an event one time I think it was a couple months ago with 2044 02:14:15.840 --> 02:14:23.040 a guy and she did a dating game with three of his matches and I watched that yeah yeah so we have 2045 02:14:23.040 --> 02:14:29.040 those types of opportunities the other thing that I want to encourage you to do online dating I love 2046 02:14:29.040 --> 02:14:35.760 that you're still like get out there stay on that find other ways in your community to get out and 2047 02:14:35.760 --> 02:14:42.960 meet new people right I'm taking all the steps I went to a new church a different dog park and so 2048 02:14:42.960 --> 02:14:49.440 just trust that process I I know it's like I'm doing all the things God why isn't it happening 2049 02:14:49.440 --> 02:14:55.600 I was right there with you you know I was you know 39 I'd been in the program I was like 2050 02:14:55.600 --> 02:14:59.920 I've never been married I I watched I showed up 2051 02:15:00.000 --> 02:15:02.480 in this community at the time. 2052 02:15:02.480 --> 02:15:06.720 I was on all the calls, I did all the activations, 2053 02:15:06.720 --> 02:15:09.400 I engaged, I did all of those things, 2054 02:15:09.400 --> 02:15:11.160 and I'm like, God, I'm doing everything, 2055 02:15:11.160 --> 02:15:12.760 and then there would be a new woman 2056 02:15:12.760 --> 02:15:14.000 that would come in the community, 2057 02:15:14.000 --> 02:15:16.200 she'd be in for like three months, 2058 02:15:16.200 --> 02:15:17.560 and then she's making a post 2059 02:15:17.560 --> 02:15:19.400 that she's got an engagement ring on her finger, 2060 02:15:19.400 --> 02:15:23.040 and I'm like, she just needs to show up to the call. 2061 02:15:24.480 --> 02:15:25.320 Right. 2062 02:15:25.320 --> 02:15:28.480 Lord, I'm doing all of this, you're still, 2063 02:15:28.560 --> 02:15:31.040 I mean, I've been there, okay, 2064 02:15:31.040 --> 02:15:33.160 but it's important that we don't, 2065 02:15:33.160 --> 02:15:37.280 like, we can't compare someone else's journey to ours, 2066 02:15:37.280 --> 02:15:38.120 we just have to- 2067 02:15:38.120 --> 02:15:39.800 Sure, of course, of course. 2068 02:15:39.800 --> 02:15:41.520 I've just started wondering, you know, 2069 02:15:41.520 --> 02:15:45.000 maybe my demographic is not really 2070 02:15:46.160 --> 02:15:48.400 the fit for last year's single. 2071 02:15:48.400 --> 02:15:49.240 That's kind of what I'm- 2072 02:15:49.240 --> 02:15:53.440 We have so many marriages from this community 2073 02:15:53.440 --> 02:15:55.720 that fits in your demographic. 2074 02:15:55.720 --> 02:15:57.880 I will tell you, are you even connected 2075 02:15:58.280 --> 02:15:59.920 with Jackie on her social media? 2076 02:16:01.560 --> 02:16:03.080 Look at, get on her social media, 2077 02:16:03.080 --> 02:16:05.920 if you have Instagram and Facebook. 2078 02:16:07.480 --> 02:16:08.840 I have Facebook, yeah. 2079 02:16:08.840 --> 02:16:10.160 So get on her Facebook, 2080 02:16:10.160 --> 02:16:13.520 she's always posting pictures of success stories, 2081 02:16:13.520 --> 02:16:17.920 and I'm telling you, it is an older demographic, 2082 02:16:17.920 --> 02:16:22.920 it really is, and I mean, love happens for all ages, 2083 02:16:24.160 --> 02:16:26.880 and I oftentimes, like, I get excited, 2084 02:16:26.880 --> 02:16:28.680 and I get excited because I see it, 2085 02:16:28.680 --> 02:16:30.920 and I'm like, yes, it's happening. 2086 02:16:30.920 --> 02:16:33.200 Women in their 50s and their 60s, 2087 02:16:33.200 --> 02:16:35.840 like, they're finding love again. 2088 02:16:35.840 --> 02:16:38.400 Some have, you know, were married before, 2089 02:16:39.240 --> 02:16:40.680 and they're widowed. 2090 02:16:40.680 --> 02:16:43.840 Some were divorced and finding love again. 2091 02:16:43.840 --> 02:16:45.639 I mean, I've seen it all. 2092 02:16:45.639 --> 02:16:50.240 We have a coach in our community in phase three. 2093 02:16:50.240 --> 02:16:54.680 I was with her, I joined around the same time she did. 2094 02:16:54.680 --> 02:16:56.920 She was widowed, she was, 2095 02:16:56.920 --> 02:17:01.000 I'm wanting to say she was probably in her 50s at the time. 2096 02:17:01.000 --> 02:17:03.480 Maybe she was a little bit older, 2097 02:17:03.480 --> 02:17:06.639 and she met someone, and at first, 2098 02:17:06.639 --> 02:17:07.959 like, he didn't want anything to do 2099 02:17:07.959 --> 02:17:08.959 with being in a relationship, 2100 02:17:08.959 --> 02:17:11.559 he just enjoyed being her friend, 2101 02:17:11.559 --> 02:17:13.280 and she stuck with it, 2102 02:17:13.280 --> 02:17:15.400 and sometimes, you could tell she was irritated, 2103 02:17:15.400 --> 02:17:16.799 she had teenage kids, 2104 02:17:16.799 --> 02:17:19.719 because she, I think, she had kids later in life, 2105 02:17:20.639 --> 02:17:22.480 and y'all, she's married. 2106 02:17:22.480 --> 02:17:24.120 She was, like, she got married, 2107 02:17:24.760 --> 02:17:27.440 I think she was married over a year prior to me, 2108 02:17:27.440 --> 02:17:28.719 before I even met, 2109 02:17:28.719 --> 02:17:30.680 and so, she's one of our coaches, 2110 02:17:30.680 --> 02:17:33.400 like, she's in there, she gives feedback, 2111 02:17:33.400 --> 02:17:35.520 and so, I've seen it happen. 2112 02:17:35.520 --> 02:17:38.799 It's not just, oftentimes, I see more women 2113 02:17:38.799 --> 02:17:42.000 in the older demographic come and get success here 2114 02:17:42.000 --> 02:17:43.959 than maybe, than what you see, 2115 02:17:43.959 --> 02:17:46.200 like, the 20-year-olds coming in here. 2116 02:17:46.200 --> 02:17:48.120 Like, I'm not saying, so if you're 20, 2117 02:17:48.120 --> 02:17:50.520 it doesn't mean that you're not gonna find love, ladies, 2118 02:17:50.520 --> 02:17:54.000 but I just want that to be an encouragement to you 2119 02:17:54.879 --> 02:17:55.719 that it does happen, 2120 02:17:55.719 --> 02:17:58.600 and I see it in this community all the time, 2121 02:17:58.600 --> 02:18:01.760 and keep sticking with it, keep showing up, 2122 02:18:01.760 --> 02:18:03.240 which is what you're doing, 2123 02:18:03.240 --> 02:18:07.040 you're being open, you're going online, get active, 2124 02:18:07.040 --> 02:18:09.040 let people know in your community, 2125 02:18:09.040 --> 02:18:10.360 you know, what you're looking for. 2126 02:18:10.360 --> 02:18:11.600 I think, Lisa, you were the one, 2127 02:18:11.600 --> 02:18:15.080 were you the one that was asking about the men, 2128 02:18:15.080 --> 02:18:17.040 like, referring men in your family? 2129 02:18:17.040 --> 02:18:18.840 Right, because I've been talking to my family 2130 02:18:18.840 --> 02:18:20.160 and friends about this, 2131 02:18:20.160 --> 02:18:22.400 and some of them were wondering how you- 2132 02:18:23.360 --> 02:18:26.120 Keep doing that, because you never know, 2133 02:18:26.120 --> 02:18:28.760 like, you know, months down the road, 2134 02:18:28.760 --> 02:18:30.160 someone that you shared with it, 2135 02:18:30.160 --> 02:18:32.040 they're gonna encounter someone 2136 02:18:32.040 --> 02:18:34.200 that could be your spirit mate, 2137 02:18:34.200 --> 02:18:37.160 and God's gonna, you know, remind them, 2138 02:18:37.160 --> 02:18:42.160 hey, Lisa, this guy, get Lisa in contact with him. 2139 02:18:43.320 --> 02:18:44.160 Right, right. 2140 02:18:44.160 --> 02:18:49.160 So it's all, God, God has a beautiful way of his timing. 2141 02:18:50.120 --> 02:18:54.040 He's intentional, and he is always on time. 2142 02:18:54.040 --> 02:18:55.760 And sometimes, I don't know about you, 2143 02:18:55.760 --> 02:18:58.080 but I've had to learn sometimes it's not in my time, 2144 02:18:58.080 --> 02:19:01.400 but it's his, and I've also had to confess 2145 02:19:01.400 --> 02:19:03.360 that there's been times that I'm upset 2146 02:19:03.360 --> 02:19:06.240 that I want him to hurry it along, 2147 02:19:06.240 --> 02:19:11.240 but I've learned that if I would have hurried things along 2148 02:19:11.240 --> 02:19:14.160 and didn't allow his process and his time, 2149 02:19:14.160 --> 02:19:15.559 then it probably wouldn't have worked out 2150 02:19:15.559 --> 02:19:17.959 the way that it did, and I'm so thankful 2151 02:19:18.360 --> 02:19:21.480 that he's got a daughter that- 2152 02:19:21.480 --> 02:19:24.120 I have to watch my budget, 2153 02:19:24.120 --> 02:19:26.799 so I'm like, should I stay in this for stage three? 2154 02:19:26.799 --> 02:19:28.280 Should I get on a different dating app 2155 02:19:28.280 --> 02:19:29.200 that I have to pay for? 2156 02:19:29.200 --> 02:19:30.040 Should I? 2157 02:19:30.040 --> 02:19:32.160 So that helps, everything you've said helps me to know 2158 02:19:32.160 --> 02:19:33.000 to just- 2159 02:19:33.000 --> 02:19:35.360 Stick with it, and I like, and you know what? 2160 02:19:35.360 --> 02:19:36.639 And then when, if, you know, 2161 02:19:36.639 --> 02:19:38.280 Christian Mingle doesn't work out, 2162 02:19:38.280 --> 02:19:39.680 jump on another free site. 2163 02:19:39.680 --> 02:19:43.400 Don't, you know, pour into it just yet, okay? 2164 02:19:43.400 --> 02:19:46.719 If that, if, you know, have peace about it 2165 02:19:46.719 --> 02:19:50.240 when you go into it, for sure. 2166 02:19:50.240 --> 02:19:52.800 But I love all the things that you're doing, 2167 02:19:52.800 --> 02:19:54.640 you're posting in the community, 2168 02:19:54.640 --> 02:19:57.880 and again, share that, get that affiliate link. 2169 02:19:57.880 --> 02:19:58.880 Start sharing with people, 2170 02:19:58.880 --> 02:20:00.120 because when people sign up- 2171 02:20:00.000 --> 02:20:02.440 You get $75 in your pocket. 2172 02:20:02.440 --> 02:20:07.040 Can they get any, like Jackie put a post that said $99 for today. 2173 02:20:07.040 --> 02:20:11.000 Can anybody that gets the affiliate link get a discount or no? 2174 02:20:11.000 --> 02:20:12.480 No, they have to pay that price. 2175 02:20:12.480 --> 02:20:16.000 So they have to pay $97 and then you get $75. 2176 02:20:16.000 --> 02:20:19.480 And they have to sign up using your link. 2177 02:20:19.480 --> 02:20:20.960 Right. 2178 02:20:20.960 --> 02:20:24.560 If they go through her free challenge and sign up through her free challenge, 2179 02:20:24.560 --> 02:20:29.360 even if you refer them and they didn't sign up and pay through your link, 2180 02:20:29.440 --> 02:20:30.520 then you don't get that. 2181 02:20:30.520 --> 02:20:34.840 So it's important that you share that link with them and make them know like, 2182 02:20:34.840 --> 02:20:38.640 hey, and when, when you're ready to sign up, you have to use this link. 2183 02:20:39.160 --> 02:20:41.280 It's my, it's my referral. 2184 02:20:41.680 --> 02:20:42.920 So please do that. 2185 02:20:42.960 --> 02:20:50.040 And, and ladies like, think about if you introduce one person a month to this 2186 02:20:50.040 --> 02:20:55.600 community and they sign up that $75 in your pocket, that my guess is going to 2187 02:20:55.600 --> 02:20:59.040 pay for your monthly membership to our last year, single community, 2188 02:20:59.400 --> 02:21:01.800 and then probably a paid online dating site. 2189 02:21:02.520 --> 02:21:04.680 Like you just got to pay, right? 2190 02:21:04.680 --> 02:21:08.800 Like, so use, use that affiliate link to your benefit. 2191 02:21:09.600 --> 02:21:10.040 Okay. 2192 02:21:10.720 --> 02:21:11.680 I'm going to have to get off. 2193 02:21:11.680 --> 02:21:12.920 I hate to ladies. 2194 02:21:13.200 --> 02:21:13.800 Absolutely. 2195 02:21:13.800 --> 02:21:18.360 We have the longest session I think I've ever ran, but there's lots of good 2196 02:21:18.360 --> 02:21:24.040 questions, though it's in replay, but if you have to jump off ladies, like 2197 02:21:24.040 --> 02:21:25.600 there's no obligation. 2198 02:21:25.960 --> 02:21:29.800 I stay on because I want to make sure that I take y'all's questions. 2199 02:21:31.120 --> 02:21:31.760 Okay. 2200 02:21:31.880 --> 02:21:33.840 So Mackenzie, you're our last question. 2201 02:21:33.840 --> 02:21:38.120 And ladies, if you had a question and we're a little intimidated or shy about 2202 02:21:38.120 --> 02:21:40.280 asking, put it in the app. 2203 02:21:40.840 --> 02:21:41.200 All right. 2204 02:21:41.200 --> 02:21:46.880 And pray next time that you're on to have some boldness to ask your question. 2205 02:21:47.400 --> 02:21:48.960 I know that sometimes it's hard. 2206 02:21:48.960 --> 02:21:51.680 I don't know if there's someone in replay that needs to hear this or someone 2207 02:21:51.680 --> 02:21:56.000 that's on that is shy and not sure about asking a question, thinking it's a 2208 02:21:56.000 --> 02:21:56.840 stupid question. 2209 02:21:56.840 --> 02:21:58.240 There's not a stupid question. 2210 02:21:58.520 --> 02:22:02.160 A lot of times your question is going to help break through for somebody else, or 2211 02:22:02.160 --> 02:22:06.160 it's something that somebody else was wanting to ask that they were afraid to 2212 02:22:06.160 --> 02:22:06.680 ask. 2213 02:22:07.240 --> 02:22:09.680 So don't be shy about asking your questions. 2214 02:22:09.720 --> 02:22:10.400 Okay. 2215 02:22:11.120 --> 02:22:11.400 All right. 2216 02:22:11.400 --> 02:22:15.680 Mackenzie, I'm going to take yours and then anybody that had a question or has 2217 02:22:15.680 --> 02:22:19.480 it in their mind that, that maybe we're a little intimidated, put it in the app. 2218 02:22:19.480 --> 02:22:19.760 Okay. 2219 02:22:19.760 --> 02:22:21.120 And we'll answer it in the app. 2220 02:22:22.680 --> 02:22:23.360 Okay, sweet. 2221 02:22:23.560 --> 02:22:29.120 So I appreciate your response to my question about the guy that I, cause we 2222 02:22:29.120 --> 02:22:32.560 ended up talking for way longer than I wanted to before we went on a date 2223 02:22:32.560 --> 02:22:35.520 because he was on a work trip and then it was Christmas and all this stuff. 2224 02:22:35.520 --> 02:22:41.080 So we talked for like a month and then we just met up and we had a date on 2225 02:22:41.080 --> 02:22:41.840 Saturday. 2226 02:22:42.040 --> 02:22:42.240 Okay. 2227 02:22:42.240 --> 02:22:46.480 Um, and he, he is really, really sweet and we haven't really talked about 2228 02:22:46.480 --> 02:22:51.440 religion at all, but when I asked him the question, there was something that 2229 02:22:51.560 --> 02:22:55.600 came up and it wasn't specifically about his religion or anything like that. 2230 02:22:55.920 --> 02:23:01.520 Um, but his response kind of told me where he rests in his religion. 2231 02:23:01.520 --> 02:23:06.600 And so I, because of that, I feel like it's a no for me because I know. 2232 02:23:07.080 --> 02:23:08.600 I'm wanting to give me more details. 2233 02:23:10.000 --> 02:23:10.400 Okay. 2234 02:23:10.640 --> 02:23:15.120 So he, he, I can tell that he's, he's Mormon because of his. 2235 02:23:15.920 --> 02:23:16.360 Yeah. 2236 02:23:16.360 --> 02:23:18.480 And so how did that come up? 2237 02:23:18.640 --> 02:23:23.280 I want, can I hear exactly how you came to that realization? 2238 02:23:23.280 --> 02:23:24.560 Like what was said? 2239 02:23:24.680 --> 02:23:26.160 What question did you ask? 2240 02:23:26.560 --> 02:23:28.600 What was said in his response? 2241 02:23:28.880 --> 02:23:32.280 Let's just make sure that we are very clear. 2242 02:23:32.560 --> 02:23:32.880 Yeah. 2243 02:23:32.880 --> 02:23:34.640 We're not just assuming. 2244 02:23:35.120 --> 02:23:35.680 Okay. 2245 02:23:35.680 --> 02:23:39.560 We don't want to assume we don't want to cut things off when we might've just, 2246 02:23:39.720 --> 02:23:43.240 you know, misinterpreted because of a lens that we're looking through. 2247 02:23:43.240 --> 02:23:45.120 So what was the question? 2248 02:23:45.360 --> 02:23:46.920 What did he respond? 2249 02:23:47.360 --> 02:23:48.600 And then we can go from there. 2250 02:23:49.560 --> 02:23:49.800 Yeah. 2251 02:23:49.840 --> 02:23:51.840 Great, great thing to think about. 2252 02:23:51.840 --> 02:23:56.240 So the first thing is that I had, he told me that he was going to church before our 2253 02:23:56.240 --> 02:24:02.680 date and I asked him what church he, he went to, and he told me that, um, a 2254 02:24:02.680 --> 02:24:07.040 temple in the area, which I know is a more, a Mormon temple. 2255 02:24:07.360 --> 02:24:13.840 And then also he had told me before that he, um, we were, I was like, Hey, let's 2256 02:24:13.840 --> 02:24:14.800 grab coffee. 2257 02:24:14.800 --> 02:24:17.680 And he said, Oh, that he doesn't drink coffee or tea. 2258 02:24:18.160 --> 02:24:23.440 And then when we were in person, so I didn't ask him there, but then when we 2259 02:24:23.440 --> 02:24:26.920 were in person at the coffee shop, cause we ended up going to a cafe that he could 2260 02:24:26.920 --> 02:24:31.520 have that when we went in person on the day, I said, so why do you not drink 2261 02:24:31.520 --> 02:24:32.520 coffee or tea? 2262 02:24:32.920 --> 02:24:38.000 Um, and he then told me that it was because of his religion that they require 2263 02:24:38.000 --> 02:24:41.280 that we don't drink, drink alcohol, drink coffee or tea. 2264 02:24:41.280 --> 02:24:46.720 And so that was a very, such a silly thing, but told me a lot about where he 2265 02:24:46.720 --> 02:24:47.400 stands. 2266 02:24:47.720 --> 02:24:51.800 And I know that, not that, not that there's anything like, I feel like he's a 2267 02:24:51.800 --> 02:24:57.480 great guy, but also there's, I know that there's really like fundamental values 2268 02:24:57.480 --> 02:24:58.480 that differ there. 2269 02:24:58.480 --> 02:24:59.320 And I. 2270 02:25:00.000 --> 02:25:02.360 don't want to be yoked to that. 2271 02:25:02.360 --> 02:25:03.600 And yeah. 2272 02:25:03.600 --> 02:25:05.380 Yeah, so that, I love it. 2273 02:25:05.380 --> 02:25:09.040 So I'm, thank you for those details 2274 02:25:09.040 --> 02:25:10.440 because that's important. 2275 02:25:10.440 --> 02:25:12.560 Cause ladies like that's, that is important. 2276 02:25:12.560 --> 02:25:15.560 We, and when you're sharing with us and wanting feedback 2277 02:25:15.560 --> 02:25:17.700 like those details are important 2278 02:25:17.700 --> 02:25:18.920 because we do want to make sure 2279 02:25:18.920 --> 02:25:21.020 that we're coaching you properly. 2280 02:25:21.020 --> 02:25:24.400 And so Mackenzie, it sounds like you did a great job. 2281 02:25:24.400 --> 02:25:28.000 So the one thing that I would say, so, you know 2282 02:25:28.000 --> 02:25:30.320 he brought up naturally organically 2283 02:25:30.320 --> 02:25:32.480 that he was going to church and he said, 2284 02:25:32.480 --> 02:25:33.800 oh, I can't go tea to coffee. 2285 02:25:33.800 --> 02:25:36.320 You had an indicator of what that was. 2286 02:25:36.320 --> 02:25:38.200 You waited until you were in a position 2287 02:25:38.200 --> 02:25:40.080 where you were in front of him and asked him. 2288 02:25:40.080 --> 02:25:41.900 So you explained to me what, like, 2289 02:25:41.900 --> 02:25:44.580 why don't you, you know, drink tea or coffee? 2290 02:25:44.580 --> 02:25:46.920 And he talked about religion. 2291 02:25:46.920 --> 02:25:50.880 This is when now it's that organic conversation 2292 02:25:50.880 --> 02:25:55.240 where I would even say, wow, that's really interesting. 2293 02:25:55.240 --> 02:25:58.360 So can you tell me more about what that would look like 2294 02:25:58.360 --> 02:26:01.640 for someone that you would enter into relationship with? 2295 02:26:01.640 --> 02:26:02.560 Yeah. 2296 02:26:02.560 --> 02:26:05.200 At that point, then it's okay. 2297 02:26:05.200 --> 02:26:08.880 You can get, now it's like, okay, I, he's opened the door. 2298 02:26:08.880 --> 02:26:11.320 He shared a little bit about his faith. 2299 02:26:11.320 --> 02:26:15.200 I would like to know his feedback on what he is looking for 2300 02:26:15.200 --> 02:26:16.920 and what it, how his religion 2301 02:26:16.920 --> 02:26:20.360 and his faith would show up in relationship. 2302 02:26:21.400 --> 02:26:24.520 And so then you can kind of have those, you know 2303 02:26:24.520 --> 02:26:26.360 open conversations. 2304 02:26:26.360 --> 02:26:28.480 And then, you know, again, there's respect. 2305 02:26:28.480 --> 02:26:31.040 Like just because someone doesn't have the same beliefs 2306 02:26:31.040 --> 02:26:32.800 and values that we do, 2307 02:26:32.800 --> 02:26:36.260 doesn't mean that they don't deserve respect. 2308 02:26:36.260 --> 02:26:37.100 Absolutely. 2309 02:26:37.100 --> 02:26:41.400 We can respect what their beliefs are. 2310 02:26:41.400 --> 02:26:44.560 It doesn't always have to align up with ours. 2311 02:26:44.560 --> 02:26:47.740 We can have, you know, good conversation. 2312 02:26:47.740 --> 02:26:50.320 And then at the end, you can say like, you know what? 2313 02:26:50.320 --> 02:26:52.120 You know, thank you for sharing that with me. 2314 02:26:52.120 --> 02:26:52.960 Here's the thing. 2315 02:26:52.960 --> 02:26:54.520 You could have just learned something new 2316 02:26:54.520 --> 02:26:57.200 about a religion that you're not familiar with. 2317 02:26:57.200 --> 02:27:00.300 And not because you are interested in that religion 2318 02:27:00.300 --> 02:27:03.600 but it's just, it helps you grow in your own faith 2319 02:27:03.600 --> 02:27:06.800 of why your faith is important to you. 2320 02:27:06.800 --> 02:27:10.160 And like, you know, and for me, 2321 02:27:10.160 --> 02:27:11.600 I am always intrigued by that 2322 02:27:11.600 --> 02:27:16.040 because then I feel like it helps me grow a stronger, 2323 02:27:16.040 --> 02:27:18.000 stronger in my faith 2324 02:27:18.000 --> 02:27:20.880 but I can also see the perspective of others. 2325 02:27:20.920 --> 02:27:22.480 It just gives me more insight 2326 02:27:22.480 --> 02:27:26.680 as to why people feel and believe the way that they do. 2327 02:27:26.680 --> 02:27:27.520 Okay. 2328 02:27:27.520 --> 02:27:30.240 It's not my job to bring them to Jesus. 2329 02:27:30.240 --> 02:27:33.760 It's not my job to, you know, evangelize to them 2330 02:27:33.760 --> 02:27:35.160 and bring them in. 2331 02:27:35.160 --> 02:27:37.960 Like, let me tell you about Jesus and my faith. 2332 02:27:37.960 --> 02:27:42.160 Like that's not, that's what that, you know, 2333 02:27:42.160 --> 02:27:44.820 conversation is not about. 2334 02:27:44.820 --> 02:27:47.180 But it's you getting more information, 2335 02:27:47.180 --> 02:27:49.080 you being intrigued of how that would show up 2336 02:27:49.080 --> 02:27:50.300 in a relationship. 2337 02:27:50.300 --> 02:27:53.640 So then when y'all, you know, 2338 02:27:53.640 --> 02:27:55.260 maybe have another conversation 2339 02:27:55.260 --> 02:27:57.140 and he wants to go out again and, 2340 02:27:57.140 --> 02:27:59.140 or you just say, you know, I really, 2341 02:27:59.140 --> 02:28:02.540 I really respect that you were able to share that with me. 2342 02:28:04.700 --> 02:28:07.100 It doesn't look like this is gonna go somewhere romantically 2343 02:28:07.100 --> 02:28:10.060 because I'm pretty strong in my faith and my foundation. 2344 02:28:10.060 --> 02:28:13.220 And I think that this would just probably not be 2345 02:28:13.220 --> 02:28:14.620 a good match. 2346 02:28:14.620 --> 02:28:18.420 So I wish you the best of luck and thank you for your time. 2347 02:28:19.420 --> 02:28:20.820 Okay. 2348 02:28:20.820 --> 02:28:22.380 So do you feel like I, 2349 02:28:22.380 --> 02:28:25.780 so because I didn't do that on the day, 2350 02:28:25.780 --> 02:28:27.540 do you think I should wait to the next day 2351 02:28:27.540 --> 02:28:29.620 or just text or what are your thoughts? 2352 02:28:29.620 --> 02:28:30.580 Maybe even having like, 2353 02:28:30.580 --> 02:28:32.700 if you're on a phone conversation or a video date 2354 02:28:32.700 --> 02:28:35.140 and just being like, hey, you know, 2355 02:28:35.140 --> 02:28:36.940 you mentioned the church that you go to, 2356 02:28:36.940 --> 02:28:39.140 you mentioned why you couldn't have tea and coffee. 2357 02:28:39.140 --> 02:28:42.580 Can you help me understand like what, 2358 02:28:42.580 --> 02:28:45.380 how that would show up in relationship with, 2359 02:28:45.380 --> 02:28:47.740 you know, a relationship that you would have in the future? 2360 02:28:47.860 --> 02:28:50.260 Like, what would that look like for you? 2361 02:28:50.260 --> 02:28:51.100 Yeah. 2362 02:28:51.100 --> 02:28:54.060 And then give him space to share. 2363 02:28:54.060 --> 02:28:56.740 And then I think you'll probably unders, 2364 02:28:56.740 --> 02:28:59.460 like you'll get more insight to where then you say like, 2365 02:28:59.460 --> 02:29:01.780 wow, thank you so much for sharing that with me. 2366 02:29:01.780 --> 02:29:03.060 You know, I have to say, 2367 02:29:03.060 --> 02:29:06.460 I appreciate the time that we've spent 2368 02:29:06.460 --> 02:29:08.500 getting to know each other. 2369 02:29:08.500 --> 02:29:13.500 I know where my walk is and what's important to me. 2370 02:29:13.860 --> 02:29:17.140 And I do think that, you know, respectfully, 2371 02:29:17.140 --> 02:29:21.220 our beliefs maybe don't line up. 2372 02:29:21.220 --> 02:29:24.860 And so to respect your time and space, 2373 02:29:24.860 --> 02:29:25.980 I'm just gonna let you know, 2374 02:29:25.980 --> 02:29:29.780 I don't see that this is going to progress anywhere 2375 02:29:29.780 --> 02:29:31.140 for the future. 2376 02:29:31.140 --> 02:29:33.180 But I do appreciate, you know, 2377 02:29:33.180 --> 02:29:35.540 you giving me your insight 2378 02:29:35.540 --> 02:29:38.900 and letting me learn a little bit more about you. 2379 02:29:38.900 --> 02:29:41.660 And just, and then it can be an end. 2380 02:29:41.700 --> 02:29:43.140 And here's the thing. 2381 02:29:43.140 --> 02:29:46.140 His response, not your responsibility. 2382 02:29:46.140 --> 02:29:46.980 Yeah. 2383 02:29:46.980 --> 02:29:50.820 He may receive that with kindness 2384 02:29:50.820 --> 02:29:52.580 and gentleness and understanding. 2385 02:29:52.580 --> 02:29:54.620 And if he does, that's awesome. 2386 02:29:54.620 --> 02:29:55.740 Great. 2387 02:29:55.740 --> 02:29:58.900 That means he's a solid guy for someone else. 2388 02:29:58.900 --> 02:30:00.220 That's aligned with his. 2389 02:30:00.000 --> 02:30:04.960 faith all right but and then it's also showing you that there's other people 2390 02:30:04.960 --> 02:30:09.640 out there that might not align with what you are that are still good kind people 2391 02:30:09.640 --> 02:30:15.840 he may get defensive if he does you don't have to pick it up you don't have 2392 02:30:15.840 --> 02:30:21.080 to justify yourself you don't have to argue with him you just say look I 2393 02:30:21.080 --> 02:30:26.960 apologize but I'm gonna go ahead and let you go I wish you the best of luck I 2394 02:30:26.960 --> 02:30:33.000 mean end it if he's defending if he's angry ladies don't engage with it yeah 2395 02:30:33.000 --> 02:30:38.280 so so with all of that being said so we haven't ever had a phone call we've met 2396 02:30:38.280 --> 02:30:45.000 in person now once so in conversation over texting should I try to prompt a 2397 02:30:45.000 --> 02:30:50.240 phone call and say hey would I know that I mean do you guys the dates that you've 2398 02:30:50.240 --> 02:30:53.840 been on did you did you enjoy going out on a date with them like did you enjoy 2399 02:30:53.840 --> 02:30:59.000 like going out and doing something with somebody that's new I think I enjoyed I 2400 02:30:59.000 --> 02:31:03.200 enjoyed the date but I kind of felt I don't know who said this but I kind of 2401 02:31:03.200 --> 02:31:08.480 fell at the end like I was kind of done but I don't know if that because there's 2402 02:31:08.480 --> 02:31:13.880 also he also has kids so that there's an element which I'm not opposed to kids 2403 02:31:13.880 --> 02:31:19.280 but there's an element of like an extra part of it and there's a couple of other 2404 02:31:19.280 --> 02:31:27.800 yellow flags that have come up so I think my wife might be wonky so I don't know because of 2405 02:31:27.800 --> 02:31:35.000 all of those like previous kind of yeah another date so yeah I would just say 2406 02:31:35.000 --> 02:31:40.600 hey why don't we jump on a video call or why don't we um like talk on the phone 2407 02:31:40.600 --> 02:31:45.920 okay I mean do you have his phone number yeah okay I do 2408 02:31:45.920 --> 02:31:49.960 should my text or say or you know here's the thing like just say hey why 2409 02:31:49.960 --> 02:31:55.000 don't we hey do you have free time to have a conversation tonight like just 2410 02:31:55.000 --> 02:31:58.000 jump on a call I don't think that's weird I think you know you can prompt it 2411 02:31:58.000 --> 02:32:01.760 and I think you can just be like you know I was thinking and you know you 2412 02:32:01.760 --> 02:32:05.760 brought something up a couple times and I was just pondering on it and I wanted 2413 02:32:05.760 --> 02:32:12.120 to kind of get your feedback and wanted to know a little bit more about what 2414 02:32:12.120 --> 02:32:19.640 your beliefs and faith how that shows up in relationship like what would that 2415 02:32:19.640 --> 02:32:24.760 look like for someone that enters a relationship with you okay that's really 2416 02:32:24.760 --> 02:32:27.960 good thank you I appreciate that and then get your feedback I mean like I 2417 02:32:27.960 --> 02:32:32.920 really appreciate you taking your time to do that the reason I asked is because 2418 02:32:32.920 --> 02:32:39.400 I'm not sure that you and I are on the same faith walk and so I don't know if 2419 02:32:39.400 --> 02:32:43.840 this would be a romantic match and so I just wanted to get your feedback before 2420 02:32:43.840 --> 02:32:52.120 making that judgment and then you know you can end it gracefully you know 2421 02:32:52.120 --> 02:32:59.560 yeah how they respond is not your responsibility thank you so much sorry 2422 02:32:59.560 --> 02:33:02.840 my Wi-Fi is kind of wonky but I really appreciate your feedback you are oh 2423 02:33:02.840 --> 02:33:08.040 absolutely all right ladies it's been my longest call it's been good I'm so glad 2424 02:33:08.040 --> 02:33:12.360 that you know I had a lot more of you on today because it's the holiday it was 2425 02:33:12.360 --> 02:33:16.720 such a pleasure I'm so thankful for those of you that were able to engage I 2426 02:33:16.720 --> 02:33:21.880 apologize that I did not get to a lot of the chat there's a lot going on because 2427 02:33:21.880 --> 02:33:26.720 again there's so many of you which I love I love seeing you all show up keep 2428 02:33:26.720 --> 02:33:35.000 doing that if there was a something that you posted in the chat or it was just in 2429 02:33:35.000 --> 02:33:40.560 your mind and you didn't want to share it bring it to the app post it in the 2430 02:33:40.560 --> 02:33:45.520 app we will respond to you there all right reminder we do not have a call 2431 02:33:45.520 --> 02:33:53.400 tonight but we will be back I believe to our regular schedule next Tuesday with 2432 02:33:53.400 --> 02:34:01.680 our one o'clock and eight o'clock okay so ladies have a very last New Year's 2433 02:34:01.680 --> 02:34:08.720 Eve have fun all right be excited and expectant of what the Lord wants to do 2434 02:34:08.720 --> 02:34:14.920 in this next year for you spend time with him activate a word or phrase that 2435 02:34:14.920 --> 02:34:20.840 he wants to give you for this year all right share it with us in the community 2436 02:34:20.840 --> 02:34:26.360 all right get excited this next year is gonna be a good one it will be your last 2437 02:34:26.360 --> 02:34:32.560 you're single okay let's start partnering with that promise and keep 2438 02:34:32.560 --> 02:34:39.240 taking those steps moving forward okay we got you God's got you all right have 2439 02:34:39.240 --> 02:34:46.680 a blessed rest of your day ladies thank you thank you so much Carla 2440 02:34:46.680 --> 02:34:50.160 thank you Carla