WEBVTT

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But you love that sound.

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That means that Jackie didn't forget to press record.

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And that means there's going to be a replay.

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And so welcome to our first single spotlight.

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Our first love seat, love seat, love seat, love seat.

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We are going to do some great vision casting for 25 on Supernatural Saturday this week.

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So please be there or be square.

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Okay.

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Be there for Sunday night activation as well.

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If you're not signed up for prophesy your year, guys, we're down to the wire to sign

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up for prophesy your year.

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It is an extra cost.

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I'm so sorry about that.

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For those of you that are like, ah, I just can't do it, Jackie.

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We made it as inexpensive as possible because it's not our session.

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It doesn't belong to us.

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And so we, and trust me, it's worth every cent of that 50 bucks and you are going to

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get so much from it.

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If you can afford it.

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If you can afford it.

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I just want to let you guys know, if you cannot be there live, we will also be offering the

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replay for half off after the session is over.

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So you'll be able to watch the replay.

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You won't have the added benefit of breakouts, but you know, you'll get a lot from listening

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to the teaching and doing the workbook yourself.

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And so we will be doing that.

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We do that every year.

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For those of you that are like, ah, I just can't swing it, but you can go to Sunday night

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activation life.

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And we'll be doing some activations around what's your word for the year.

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Cause that's what supernatural Saturday is going to be all about getting a vision, right?

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Habakkuk say that 20 times really fast.

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We're going to talk about getting a vision for our lives.

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You guys, God is a God of times and seasons.

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There are things available right now because of the calendar page turn that were not available

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two days ago.

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That's true.

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It just is.

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And so we're going to be talking about that on supernatural Saturday, we activating that

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on Sunday night.

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For those of you that in prophesy your year, you're going to be activating that in a whole

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different way as well.

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And so it's going to be a really great time, no matter where you are.

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And so please don't have FOMO.

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We love you.

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You're not going to miss out on what God has for you, right?

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You're not, you're not going to miss out on what God has for you.

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Okay.

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And so if you're new to love seats, I said it just a few minutes ago, but I'm gonna say

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it again.

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If you just got to phase three, if you're a guy that just joined our program, we are

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so glad to have you here.

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And we do this at least once a month, sometimes twice.

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And this is our live dating coaching session.

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So I answer all of your questions.

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You get a little bit of Jackie in this session.

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Ask Jackie is back now that our app has the ability to live stream, ask Jackie is back.

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And so please, if you're in phase three or the guys group, that's the only people that

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are here.

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So I'm just talking to y'all go ahead and put your questions and ask Jackie.

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And I will be answering those weekly.

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Sometimes I'll be answering those publicly.

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You guys were expanding.

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And the reason why we're expanding is because the more that I get out there, the more that

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your spirit mate has a chance to get in the net that I'm throwing out through all of my

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marketing.

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Guys, I'm going to be on the news tomorrow morning.

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I'm going to be on the 7 50 AM Eastern that's 6 50 AM.

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See what I do for y'all 6 50 AM central Newsmax morning show.

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And so if you're a Newsmax fan, if you watch Newsmax, I will be on with Marty Martin tomorrow

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morning at 7 50 AM talking about what singles can do differently in the new year.

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And just so you guys know, when I do that, people see us, guess who mostly watches Newsmax

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men.

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And they're going to see me there.

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And then they're going to go and look for me because they're going to tell them how

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to find me.

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And they're going to go look for me on, on our website, by the way, Jackie doorman.com

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is up.

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If you see any typos there, please let us know because we threw it up pretty fast in

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order to take advantage of all of these new people that are coming at us.

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And the more that they come at us, the more that we are able to introduce them to you.

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And so we are constantly creating new opportunities to bring new marriage minded singles, men and

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women into the program, because that is how this works.

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God gave me a word at the beginning of this year, I was in New York city for a single

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city for a single city for a single city for singles.

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And he told me about three different types of nets that we needed to throw out in order

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to pull in the harvest, which is the revival of marriage and family.

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So we've had all kinds of new people, both men and women join this year.

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You guys, we've had hundreds and hundreds of success stories this year.

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We've had over a hundred, possibly close to 200 people get engaged and married this year,

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just in the last 24 hours.

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I think that I saw four or five engagement announcements.

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This is the time of year for that.

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But I will tell you that we are so excited about the unions that are being made because

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of the things that we do here.

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And you guys are part of that as well.

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In fact, just recently, uh, actually yesterday, not recently yesterday, I heard about, I heard

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about, I heard about, I heard about by someone else in this community and that becoming a

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very serious relationship that is marriage minded right now.

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and looks like it's headed towards the altar.

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You guys, that happens.

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We've had at least a handful of people

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get matched by other people in this community

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with someone that they knew,

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someone that they were friends with,

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someone that went to their church,

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maybe even a family member.

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We have at least one beautiful woman in this group

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that saw a single spotlight of one of my students' clients,

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and she showed it to her brother,

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and now her brother is married

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to that beautiful young woman,

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and she has a new sister,

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and she's in this group, and now it's her turn.

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I believe what you help make happen for others,

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God will do for you,

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and so I'm gonna be on Newsmax.

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I have another Christian Post article.

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I have an op-ed on Christian Post coming out tomorrow.

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Guys, I'm gonna put the link up on my social media.

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We'll also put it up in your groups.

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Please blow it up.

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Don't just share it, comment on it,

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because the people that comment on it,

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bless their hearts, they're weird.

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I love them, I bless them,

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but I don't know what rock they've been living under.

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The things that they're saying make no sense,

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and the scriptures that they're sharing

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have no context to the article, okay?

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There's a lot of people that are stuck in religion.

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I really hope they get free,

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but in the meantime, they're hanging out

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in the comment section of the Christian Post,

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and they need people with a fresh perspective

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to come and comment there, and you never know.

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You might actually, besides not the weird people

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that need a lot of stuff, a lot of breakthrough,

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a lot of delivery, a lot of delivery,

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a lot of delivery, a lot of delivery,

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be some other well-positioned Christians in the comments.

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You never know, you could meet your spirit mates

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in the comment stream of a dating article.

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It's happened.

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Do you guys know that one of my success stories,

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the people actually met in the comments of one of my posts.

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One of my posts.

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One of my posts.

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One of my posts.

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One of my posts.

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They are happily married,

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and you guys, you just never know.

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You never know where that can happen

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and how that's going to happen

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and when that's going to happen,

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and so it's really great for us to always be prepared.

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I did a little video today while I was out and about,

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actually running errands,

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trying to return Christmas presents

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that either didn't fit or weren't right,

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and I saw a big wall painted with the word love.

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Go check it out on my Instagram stories.

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If you don't follow me at Jackie Dorman Official,

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definitely follow me over there,

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because once again, you might meet someone from the public

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in the comments,

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and especially as more and more people

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find out what we do here.

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So we are going,

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bing, bing, bing.

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Am I good?

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Am I buffering at all?

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Give me a thumbs up.

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You're like repeating a lot.

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It's coming on my end too.

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Okay, okay.

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Well, I might have a little bit of a signal lag.

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Let me try to figure that out.

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Lots of skipping.

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Okay.

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Okay, thanks Hunter.

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We got it.

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Echoing.

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Okay, let us figure that out for one second

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before we go.

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Okay, you guys,

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we just checked the internet connection and it's strong.

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Is it still happening?

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Is it still happening, you guys?

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Am I skipping?

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Am I echoing?

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It sounds okay right now,

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and you were good for a little bit,

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and then it would just hit that.

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I did look up.

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It doesn't say that Zoom's experiencing

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any kind of widespread issues today,

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so it might just be an internet issue.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Okay, can you move the stuff back over?

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Okay, guys, if that happens,

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please post in the comments

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so that I know that it's happening

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because on my side, there's no echo.

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Okay, all right.

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So all kinds of new and amazing things are happening.

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Please look at the calendar for January.

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We have all kinds of really fun and great stuff in store.

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I am going to,

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I don't know,

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but I'm going to have a really fun and great stuff in store.

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I am going to be in DC in February

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for the National Prayer Breakfast,

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and then I will be in New York City

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the very next weekend in February,

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and so we're working on some fun things.

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We have a Singles Conference in Jersey.

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And in New York in March we'll be posting about all of this and i'm going to be working with someone ladies if you've always wanted to optimize your beautiful.

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color i'm going to be working with a celebrity color matcher she's gonna do my colors and then i'm going to make it available for you to have your colors done kind of in a group format, so that it's affordable and.

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And an available for you, but I will tell you, I have a celebrity client that their colors with this specific person and they look like a totally different person.

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It you'd be amazed at how much of a change, you can get from just working with what is flattering to you and so i'm excited about all of that stuff.

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We have a car to Hannah trip if you haven't registered for that that is a ladies only trip, we are working on a singles cruise for the fall.

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But if you haven't registered for that and you're planning on doing it, please do it as soon as possible, pay your deposit there's a deadline on that you can find all of this to sign up for prophesy your year the car to Hannah trip.

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If you didn't sign up to watch me as a guest on the wisdom challenge i'm proverb 10 so i'm day 10 January 10.

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And please, even if you signed up somewhere else, because you heard me talk about it, and you went and found the sign up sign up through the link that I that I put up in your in your resource.

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pages of your APP because there's gonna be special bonus content that you will be able to get the special bonus session that you'll be able to get if you sign up through.

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That link and so make sure that you do that as well Okay, and so, without further ado we're going to go ahead and start single spotlights.

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i'm excited about this this new year you guys i'm very excited i'm kind of person who's usually excited about the new year, because I love.

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New opportunities I love times and seasons, I believe that the seal breaks off of us in areas where God we get access to things that God has been.

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holding back for for for us, not from us, but for us as an inheritance and now we're you know mature enough to handle it.

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And for those of you that don't feel like maybe you're mature enough to handle it you're like I don't know if God's going to give it to me i've kind of screwed up this year.

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been pretty negative this year it's been a hard year for me year for me year for me year for me fallen I feel a Holy Spirit on this I fallen into some sin this year I.

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didn't wait on God I got myself involved in a bunch of crazy that doesn't disqualify you.

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It doesn't it doesn't mean that God's not going to upgrade you it doesn't mean that at all, and so, as long as you're making the next right decision, as long as you have turned away from that.

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And you've turned back towards God, then you are just as eligible as anybody else for upgrade, and so I just want to let you know that.

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For anyone who might be struggling with feelings of shame or feelings with our feelings of not being worthy we're none of us are worthy good news for you right.

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If you feel like you're unworthy you're right, you definitely are because we all are and so that's why it's important to understand the finished work of the cross.

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00:13:15.320 --> 00:13:21.960
Okay, so we're going to go ahead and david's over here doing a little it stuff making sure i'm not echoing am I not echoing.

240
00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:25.240
My good.

241
00:13:25.720 --> 00:13:30.640
You did it a little bit Jackie it was repeating.

242
00:13:31.680 --> 00:13:32.040
Okay.

243
00:13:35.000 --> 00:13:35.560
Go ahead and.

244
00:13:36.600 --> 00:13:40.520
happens here and there it's not like it's not like yeah.

245
00:13:40.640 --> 00:13:47.480
Okay, you guys if you guys could just let me know in the comments when i'm echoing because i'm going to keep going and.

246
00:13:48.000 --> 00:13:53.840
I know you guys want to help out, but if we start unmuting ourselves, then what's going to happen is is that.

247
00:13:54.160 --> 00:14:00.160
i'm going to echo them people are going to be talking and then it's just going to for the for the replay it's going to be kind of confusing.

248
00:14:00.160 --> 00:14:15.480
And so let's go ahead, if you guys if it's lagging for you repeating or echoing just make sure that you're putting that in the comments for me and i'll make sure that i'm looking at that out of the corner of my eye Okay, so let me get our first spotlight up.

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00:14:30.360 --> 00:14:41.720
To a guy that I have known for a couple years now he is an og in this community and he hasn't been around a lot lately because his mother was elderly and she was ill.

250
00:14:42.120 --> 00:14:51.160
And now she has gone on to be with Jesus, and so we definitely have stood with him in solidarity and in prayer during these last.

251
00:14:51.160 --> 00:15:01.280
years and months and weeks of his mom's life and so he's such a good son not only because he's a good son, but because he's a good father.

252
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:02.260
just to father God, but also to his mother.

253
00:15:02.260 --> 00:15:07.180
And so he is back now with us and I'm excited to be able to spotlight him

254
00:15:07.180 --> 00:15:10.860
tonight. And so I'm going to go ahead and do that.

255
00:15:12.260 --> 00:15:16.620
So I'll introduce you to my friend, Ty Buchanan. Ty, it's so good to see you.

256
00:15:16.900 --> 00:15:22.140
I'm going to also, um, I'm going to also spotlight myself so that people

257
00:15:22.140 --> 00:15:24.620
don't forget that I'm here too. Okay.

258
00:15:26.380 --> 00:15:28.940
All right, here we go. Oh, you guys, I have on this,

259
00:15:28.940 --> 00:15:32.860
I have on this NBC sweatshirt, see the peacock I have on the NBC sweatshirt.

260
00:15:32.860 --> 00:15:37.220
That was actually given to me by a student that works for NBC when I was in

261
00:15:37.220 --> 00:15:41.060
New York a year or so ago. Um, and her name is Carol.

262
00:15:41.060 --> 00:15:44.780
I was thinking about her today and then I put on the sweatshirt because I

263
00:15:44.780 --> 00:15:46.820
believe that God is speaking a word about her.

264
00:15:46.820 --> 00:15:51.340
And so I'm activating it by wearing this peacock sweatshirt. Okay.

265
00:15:51.540 --> 00:15:56.620
So Ty is with us. So Ty, first and foremost, tell us a little bit about yourself.

266
00:15:56.660 --> 00:15:58.900
Tell us, you know, where you live,

267
00:15:58.900 --> 00:16:01.700
what you're up to besides taking care of mom.

268
00:16:01.700 --> 00:16:05.100
Now that you have so much bandwidth that has been returned. Um,

269
00:16:05.140 --> 00:16:08.900
what are you up to in the season and where, where do you live at?

270
00:16:10.180 --> 00:16:13.340
Um, I live in Amarillo, Texas. Um, and, uh,

271
00:16:13.380 --> 00:16:16.660
mom passed away on December 3rd. And, um,

272
00:16:18.380 --> 00:16:21.460
actually with everything that was going on and Jackie knows quite a bit about it.

273
00:16:21.460 --> 00:16:22.580
Um, it's really,

274
00:16:22.700 --> 00:16:28.180
um, I'm at more peace now than I was before. Um, you know,

275
00:16:28.180 --> 00:16:31.060
she, she had dementia real bad and she's in a whole lot better place.

276
00:16:31.060 --> 00:16:35.780
And I just keep thinking about the peace that she has now. And, um, right now,

277
00:16:36.620 --> 00:16:40.740
what I'm doing, I'm, uh, to fill in all that time.

278
00:16:40.740 --> 00:16:42.740
Cause I did spend a lot of time with her. Um,

279
00:16:42.820 --> 00:16:46.540
I've been going to the gym a lot more getting back into that. Um,

280
00:16:46.580 --> 00:16:51.180
I'm trying to figure out Substack and started blog,

281
00:16:51.460 --> 00:16:55.500
which it's like learning a whole new language for me, but I'll get there.

282
00:16:59.420 --> 00:17:02.220
That's awesome. I love that. That is so good.

283
00:17:02.660 --> 00:17:07.260
So you like to write and that's fun. You are funny.

284
00:17:07.579 --> 00:17:10.300
Someone's on here. I think it's Carla saying that you're funny and it's true.

285
00:17:10.300 --> 00:17:14.020
You are. Um, obviously I don't know if I'm going to set you up to be funny

286
00:17:14.020 --> 00:17:19.300
tonight, but if you know him, then you know that he is funny. And, uh,

287
00:17:19.500 --> 00:17:22.380
and so Amarillo, that is where the cotton bowl is.

288
00:17:22.380 --> 00:17:24.540
Isn't that where the cotton bowl is about to be in Amarillo?

289
00:17:29.260 --> 00:17:33.700
More likely Dallas. Oh, it is Arlington, Arlington. It's in Arlington. Okay.

290
00:17:33.820 --> 00:17:36.780
I was going to say, Hey, the Buckeyes are going to be playing in Texas. All right.

291
00:17:36.780 --> 00:17:40.060
So you live in Amarillo. And so for people who don't know where Amarillo is,

292
00:17:40.100 --> 00:17:43.940
which includes me, uh, kind of give us an idea of where that is.

293
00:17:44.140 --> 00:17:44.980
It's in the panhandle.

294
00:17:45.340 --> 00:17:48.740
How far it's about. Yeah.

295
00:17:49.860 --> 00:17:54.820
It's about nine hours from. Okay. So it's not so nine hours.

296
00:17:56.980 --> 00:17:59.420
So it's not in your, how far away is it from Dallas?

297
00:18:00.060 --> 00:18:01.660
Uh, Dallas is about five and a half.

298
00:18:03.140 --> 00:18:07.180
Okay. All right. Okay. So there you guys can have it. That is where he is.

299
00:18:07.180 --> 00:18:09.740
And so is it close to Oklahoma? Is it close to

300
00:18:10.580 --> 00:18:13.100
Canada? I'm closer to New Mexico. Well,

301
00:18:14.220 --> 00:18:18.220
the Oklahoma panhandle and New Mexico border are probably pretty close to the

302
00:18:18.220 --> 00:18:22.820
same distance. Eastern Oklahoma. I'm closer to Western New Mexico.

303
00:18:24.660 --> 00:18:26.620
Oh, wait. Okay. That's backwards. So there you guys have it.

304
00:18:28.660 --> 00:18:31.620
Oh, yeah. Okay. You guys take that and switch it.

305
00:18:33.900 --> 00:18:38.820
And then you have, then you have what the truth is. So, um, so Ty, how let's,

306
00:18:38.940 --> 00:18:40.620
let's talk about your love life. All right.

307
00:18:40.660 --> 00:18:44.500
Obviously it's been on a back burner for a while now because mom and you know,

308
00:18:44.500 --> 00:18:45.300
that's very,

309
00:18:45.300 --> 00:18:49.980
I believe God's going to accelerate you in so many areas because of, you know,

310
00:18:50.060 --> 00:18:52.460
doing that and putting family first,

311
00:18:52.500 --> 00:18:55.860
because that's so important to the Lord and to, and to his heart.

312
00:18:56.300 --> 00:19:00.300
And so let me ask you this, what

313
00:19:01.780 --> 00:19:03.620
have you been? I mean, I know everything about you,

314
00:19:03.620 --> 00:19:05.940
but I'm going to ask it so that people can,

315
00:19:05.980 --> 00:19:08.500
that you can answer and people can hear it. So have you been married before?

316
00:19:09.300 --> 00:19:10.140
No.

317
00:19:11.660 --> 00:19:15.940
Okay. Never been married y'all. All right. Do you have any children?

318
00:19:16.780 --> 00:19:21.180
Yes. I have a 31 year old son and a new grandbaby, new granddaughter.

319
00:19:22.380 --> 00:19:26.140
Oh, that's exciting. A new granddaughter, a 31 year old son.

320
00:19:28.060 --> 00:19:30.620
And can you relocate from Amarillo?

321
00:19:31.900 --> 00:19:35.940
Um, since mom's passed away, that's a, that's a possibility now.

322
00:19:36.620 --> 00:19:37.460
Okay.

323
00:19:41.060 --> 00:19:41.900
But go ahead.

324
00:19:42.420 --> 00:19:45.780
What are you doing for vocation? What are you doing for work?

325
00:19:45.820 --> 00:19:46.900
What are you up to right now?

326
00:19:47.540 --> 00:19:51.540
I work for a physician, surgical hospitals. It's part of Arden.

327
00:19:52.860 --> 00:19:56.740
And, uh, I work at, I do maintenance at two hospitals,

328
00:19:56.780 --> 00:19:58.820
Panhandle Surgical and Quail Creek Surgical.

329
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:01.920
Imaging Center and Quail Creek Physical Therapy.

330
00:20:01.920 --> 00:20:03.960
So there's four buildings that, uh, that I work on.

331
00:20:05.680 --> 00:20:06.080
Okay.

332
00:20:06.160 --> 00:20:06.800
And it's pretty cool.

333
00:20:07.160 --> 00:20:08.640
And everyone's going to ask how old you are.

334
00:20:08.920 --> 00:20:09.640
So how old are you?

335
00:20:09.640 --> 00:20:10.960
You have a 31 year old son.

336
00:20:11.240 --> 00:20:15.480
Yeah, I just turned 55, uh, the 28th, this past Saturday.

337
00:20:17.120 --> 00:20:20.680
55 double grace, double grace year.

338
00:20:20.720 --> 00:20:23.000
Guys, I'm going to be 50 years old in 14 days.

339
00:20:23.000 --> 00:20:23.760
I'm right behind you.

340
00:20:24.160 --> 00:20:26.160
I'm going to catch up probably maybe.

341
00:20:28.040 --> 00:20:28.520
Okay.

342
00:20:28.760 --> 00:20:30.760
So, um, go ahead and post in the chat.

343
00:20:30.800 --> 00:20:33.600
If you are 50 or over, let's go ahead and see, I want to see

344
00:20:33.600 --> 00:20:35.120
who in our community is 50 or over.

345
00:20:35.120 --> 00:20:37.400
We're not leaving out all you 40 somethings.

346
00:20:37.400 --> 00:20:37.760
Okay.

347
00:20:37.760 --> 00:20:39.560
Or 30 somethings or 20 somethings.

348
00:20:39.880 --> 00:20:43.040
I just want to see how many people are old enough to know better in here.

349
00:20:43.480 --> 00:20:45.520
50, 54, 56, 53.

350
00:20:45.520 --> 00:20:50.120
Look at all of those folks have some people in their sixties

351
00:20:50.200 --> 00:20:51.880
have people in their seventies.

352
00:20:52.880 --> 00:20:53.880
59.

353
00:20:55.320 --> 00:20:56.640
Look at all those folks.

354
00:20:56.680 --> 00:20:57.120
Okay.

355
00:20:57.560 --> 00:21:01.320
Lots and lots and lots and lots of people in their fifties and sixties.

356
00:21:01.440 --> 00:21:05.240
Did you guys know that they say the most productive years of

357
00:21:05.240 --> 00:21:07.160
your life are from 60 to 70?

358
00:21:07.880 --> 00:21:11.560
And the most, uh, the second most productive years of your life

359
00:21:11.560 --> 00:21:15.520
are from 50 to 60 to 60 to 60 to 60.

360
00:21:15.600 --> 00:21:18.440
Third, most productive years of your life are from 70 to 80.

361
00:21:19.200 --> 00:21:20.800
What in the world?

362
00:21:21.600 --> 00:21:22.120
Okay.

363
00:21:22.280 --> 00:21:22.960
And what does that mean?

364
00:21:22.960 --> 00:21:26.680
It doesn't mean productive less as of what it means is that if you do the

365
00:21:26.720 --> 00:21:30.440
work when you're younger, then those are the years when you're going to have,

366
00:21:30.760 --> 00:21:34.160
you know, the most things come out of it, the most Nobel peace prize

367
00:21:34.160 --> 00:21:35.840
winners and all that they're over 60.

368
00:21:35.840 --> 00:21:37.000
Like you understand what I'm saying?

369
00:21:37.000 --> 00:21:40.600
So if you put the work in now, friends, that means that you are going to

370
00:21:40.600 --> 00:21:45.440
reap the benefits of that, of that, of that, of that, uh, that is great.

371
00:21:45.960 --> 00:21:46.480
Okay.

372
00:21:46.680 --> 00:21:48.000
Um, I'm repeating again.

373
00:21:48.680 --> 00:21:51.040
Yeah, I am.

374
00:21:52.280 --> 00:21:53.320
All right now I'm echoing.

375
00:21:54.280 --> 00:21:54.760
All right.

376
00:21:55.080 --> 00:21:55.840
I hate you guys.

377
00:21:55.840 --> 00:21:57.920
We have to get this worked out before the news tomorrow.

378
00:21:57.920 --> 00:21:58.720
What's going to happen?

379
00:21:58.720 --> 00:21:59.680
It's not going to be good.

380
00:22:00.960 --> 00:22:02.440
This is a bad situation.

381
00:22:04.440 --> 00:22:04.960
Okay.

382
00:22:06.400 --> 00:22:06.640
All right.

383
00:22:06.640 --> 00:22:07.440
I'm not doing it right now.

384
00:22:07.440 --> 00:22:07.940
Ty.

385
00:22:08.760 --> 00:22:09.260
No.

386
00:22:10.920 --> 00:22:11.420
Okay.

387
00:22:12.160 --> 00:22:16.920
Um, so tell us, you know, you've been single for a long time.

388
00:22:16.920 --> 00:22:19.440
When's the last time that you had a relationship, like a real serious

389
00:22:19.440 --> 00:22:23.160
relationship, how long, um, well, that would be a, well, of course, Donna,

390
00:22:23.160 --> 00:22:28.600
you, you know, Donna and, uh, three years ago, two, two and a half years ago.

391
00:22:29.280 --> 00:22:34.640
And I've dated, uh, I've, I've had several dates and, um, had one lady that

392
00:22:34.640 --> 00:22:38.400
I, we dated for about three months or so, but it was just really hard for me to.

393
00:22:40.400 --> 00:22:43.760
Be myself with everything that was going on, you know, cause, uh, it was just,

394
00:22:43.760 --> 00:22:49.600
uh, not knowing what was going to happen that day with mom and then it was just

395
00:22:49.600 --> 00:22:51.800
hard, you know, and she, she recognized that too.

396
00:22:53.720 --> 00:22:57.360
But now that mom has gone on to be with Jesus, are you wanting

397
00:22:57.360 --> 00:22:58.960
to revisit that relationship?

398
00:22:59.800 --> 00:23:00.400
Uh, probably not.

399
00:23:02.080 --> 00:23:02.580
Okay.

400
00:23:02.920 --> 00:23:03.420
All right.

401
00:23:03.420 --> 00:23:05.240
So he is single and ready to mingle y'all.

402
00:23:05.240 --> 00:23:07.320
There's no situationships hanging on.

403
00:23:07.520 --> 00:23:08.020
All right.

404
00:23:08.320 --> 00:23:13.560
There isn't, um, uh, you know, do, are you, are you open to long distance?

405
00:23:13.600 --> 00:23:14.100
It's hard.

406
00:23:15.640 --> 00:23:15.880
Yeah.

407
00:23:15.880 --> 00:23:16.720
Tell us the truth.

408
00:23:16.800 --> 00:23:18.640
Are you open to getting to know someone long distance?

409
00:23:18.680 --> 00:23:19.180
Okay.

410
00:23:19.920 --> 00:23:20.420
All right.

411
00:23:20.640 --> 00:23:23.000
So ladies, you're free to ask questions.

412
00:23:23.000 --> 00:23:25.200
We'll take questions for about four minutes for Ty.

413
00:23:25.200 --> 00:23:28.000
Cause we have two other single spotlights that we need to do tonight.

414
00:23:28.000 --> 00:23:31.000
So if you have any questions for him, please go ahead and put them in the chat

415
00:23:31.320 --> 00:23:35.680
and you guys, let's, let's be courteous with our questions.

416
00:23:35.840 --> 00:23:36.800
All right there.

417
00:23:37.000 --> 00:23:39.520
If you wouldn't ask it, you know, if you wouldn't ask it on a

418
00:23:39.520 --> 00:23:41.040
first date, don't ask it here.

419
00:23:41.960 --> 00:23:45.440
Okay. And hopefully you've learned a lot from me about what's appropriate to ask.

420
00:23:46.280 --> 00:23:48.000
Michelle wants to know if you like horses.

421
00:23:49.080 --> 00:23:49.580
Yes.

422
00:23:50.300 --> 00:23:53.180
I worked for a company called Robinson's family feed for a while.

423
00:23:53.260 --> 00:23:57.300
And, uh, I didn't know that I liked horses until I worked there and I was a

424
00:23:57.300 --> 00:23:59.060
warehouse manager and delivery driver.

425
00:23:59.060 --> 00:24:00.700
And I really fell in love with them.

426
00:24:02.900 --> 00:24:03.620
Oh, I love that.

427
00:24:03.860 --> 00:24:05.420
What's your favorite book that you've ever read?

428
00:24:06.500 --> 00:24:14.020
Um, I would say, um, one that I just read, uh, the war of art.

429
00:24:16.900 --> 00:24:17.400
The war.

430
00:24:17.500 --> 00:24:18.460
Yeah. I've seen that book.

431
00:24:19.300 --> 00:24:23.340
It was an amazing book and I'm, I'm reading another one, uh, right now.

432
00:24:23.340 --> 00:24:25.740
And as soon as I get done with that one, I'm going to go back and reread it.

433
00:24:28.580 --> 00:24:29.080
Okay.

434
00:24:29.380 --> 00:24:30.100
That's awesome.

435
00:24:30.300 --> 00:24:32.380
What about those photographs behind you?

436
00:24:32.380 --> 00:24:33.300
Are you a photographer?

437
00:24:33.300 --> 00:24:34.860
Did you take those pictures or those?

438
00:24:35.620 --> 00:24:39.660
No, those were, uh, we, we, that was a Christmas gift.

439
00:24:40.260 --> 00:24:41.820
It was kind of a white elephant deal.

440
00:24:41.820 --> 00:24:42.900
And that's what I picked.

441
00:24:43.820 --> 00:24:45.100
I've never actually been to New York.

442
00:24:45.620 --> 00:24:46.740
Oh, you need to go to New York.

443
00:24:46.740 --> 00:24:47.260
It's great.

444
00:24:47.580 --> 00:24:48.100
I love it.

445
00:24:48.140 --> 00:24:48.860
I love New York.

446
00:24:49.540 --> 00:24:52.940
Um, Leslie says she just wants to commend you for taking care of your mom.

447
00:24:52.940 --> 00:24:55.500
She said that speaks volumes about you, which I agree.

448
00:24:56.060 --> 00:24:58.740
Um, let's see.

449
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.000
Thank you.

450
00:25:03.000 --> 00:25:15.000
Okay, we have people asking questions about different things, different things, different things, different things that moderators if you can take care of that.

451
00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:18.000
Okay.

452
00:25:18.000 --> 00:25:25.000
Yes, somebody posted it sounds like sounds like max headroom and that's what it does just.

453
00:25:25.000 --> 00:25:54.000
That's not what it is. Hold on.

454
00:25:54.000 --> 00:26:01.000
I've never said max headroom is definitely dating themselves, for sure, but am I good now.

455
00:26:01.000 --> 00:26:05.000
So far,

456
00:26:05.000 --> 00:26:09.000
I hear myself somewhere Do you have something on someplace.

457
00:26:09.000 --> 00:26:11.000
Okay.

458
00:26:11.000 --> 00:26:19.000
All right. I'm just talking to David so am I good. Everything sound good now, we replaced the battery so we think that it was a battery situation. All right, y'all.

459
00:26:19.000 --> 00:26:21.000
Here we go.

460
00:26:21.000 --> 00:26:31.000
All right, we figured that out before tomorrow so I'm not, I'm not repeating myself like max headroom, raise your hand if you know what that is.

461
00:26:31.000 --> 00:26:39.000
If you know what max headroom is, raise your hand, and you might.

462
00:26:39.000 --> 00:26:43.000
Oh so many people. Okay. All right. Wonderful. Okay.

463
00:26:43.000 --> 00:27:02.000
It was a show you guys, it was show from a long time ago. Do you guys did you guys know, did you do you know that, that the way I just heard this the other day was crazy for a second let me think for a second.

464
00:27:02.000 --> 00:27:10.000
The year 2000 is as close to now as it is to 1975.

465
00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:25.000
Because it's like doesn't seem like just the other day 2000 happened and why 2k and we were like, ah, it's like that literally it's like halfway between 1975 and now and so it's just close as there to there and I know that because I was born in 1975,

466
00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:31.000
because I'm about turn 50 years old. Okay, so let's see.

467
00:27:32.000 --> 00:27:40.000
Do you like cooking at home or eating out and if you'd like to eat out, what is your what just what's your favorite meal in general do you like cooking at home or eating out.

468
00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:42.000
Um, I like both.

469
00:27:42.000 --> 00:27:45.000
I'm not much for cook but I'm learning.

470
00:27:45.000 --> 00:27:54.000
But, like, I don't know we got quite a bit of stuff I like sushi I like steak I like vegan.

471
00:27:54.000 --> 00:27:58.000
I like quite a bit of stuff. I don't like tomatoes.

472
00:27:58.000 --> 00:28:07.000
I don't think you never got married. You don't like tomatoes. No, there's David, David doesn't like either texture texture thing for him.

473
00:28:07.000 --> 00:28:14.000
But yeah, kind of for me too, but, um, the well the reason I never got married.

474
00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:23.000
was probably about eight or 10 years old, and he just bought a bar, and so I kind of wound up being raised in the bar.

475
00:28:23.000 --> 00:28:39.000
And for, and then you know once I turned 21 I worked in the bar till I was about 36 and that that's kind of another story there too but all I saw relationship wise was the worst of it.

476
00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:51.000
Yeah, all the divorce parties I saw you know the, the, the phone calls you know and all the guys say no tell her I'm not here I just saw the crappy stuff of relationships.

477
00:28:51.000 --> 00:28:55.000
And to me that was something I didn't want part of.

478
00:28:55.000 --> 00:29:04.000
And then, whenever I turned 36 this is being pretty transparent here I went to prison for a year.

479
00:29:05.000 --> 00:29:14.000
It wasn't any violence or anything it was a DWI like a small possession charge, and I've actually my birthday.

480
00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:20.000
Saturday was not that made 19 years, the start of my 20th year of sober, being sober.

481
00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:30.000
And, but, congratulations. Thank you. I found Jesus in Rambo County Jail before I, you know, went down to the safety unit.

482
00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:33.000
And

483
00:29:33.000 --> 00:29:36.000
at that.

484
00:29:36.000 --> 00:29:49.000
But, okay, whenever I got out I started going to a Trinity Fellowship, and, you know, Jackie knows Dub, Dub's a real good friend of mine, Dub Alexander, and got to know him and everything but

485
00:29:49.000 --> 00:30:00.000
the, whenever I got out of prison and got back home that's whenever I started seeing what a real relationship supposed to be like started hanging around people that you know had 3040

486
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:05.600
50 years of marriage and, and seeing the beauty in that and what God can do, if you allow that to,

487
00:30:06.480 --> 00:30:12.640
you know, allow him to work with you, you know, and, um, my whole perspective changed

488
00:30:12.640 --> 00:30:20.320
whenever I got out of prison on, on relationships. So that's pretty much, you know, that we're talking

489
00:30:20.320 --> 00:30:25.360
about 20 years ago, he's been walking with Jesus for 20 years now, he's been sober for 20 years.

490
00:30:26.080 --> 00:30:33.040
And so, um, it's wonderful. I love it. I love your backstory. Um, I, you know, I know that it was

491
00:30:33.040 --> 00:30:37.280
hard to live through those things, but I think that that makes you, that makes you, that makes

492
00:30:37.280 --> 00:30:43.200
you, that makes you, um, for the people that God puts in your path and that you can relate to things

493
00:30:43.200 --> 00:30:46.960
that they, they're going through and things that they have gone through. And so that's wonderful.

494
00:30:46.960 --> 00:30:55.120
So I can attest that Ty is a follower of Jesus, um, and everything is doing good. I'm repeating

495
00:30:55.120 --> 00:31:03.040
again. Okay. All right, guys, I don't know what's wrong. We fixed the battery, but it's not working.

496
00:31:03.040 --> 00:31:09.840
So that's not good because we got to figure this out before tomorrow. Okay. So if you guys want to

497
00:31:09.840 --> 00:31:19.120
get to know Ty more, please email us at admin at Jackie Dorman.com, put the word Ty T Y in the

498
00:31:19.120 --> 00:31:25.120
subject line. Okay. Make sure that you include a bio and you include some recent pictures of

499
00:31:25.120 --> 00:31:34.240
yourself and we will get back to you if we, if there's a, if there's a match. Okay. We'll let

500
00:31:34.240 --> 00:31:40.400
Ty take a look at those profiles. We'll get back to you if there's a match. All right. So Ty,

501
00:31:40.400 --> 00:31:44.080
anything else you want to share before we go ahead and move on? Cause I just, I don't know

502
00:31:44.080 --> 00:31:49.280
what's going on with the repeating, but we're going to try our best. Uh, no, just, uh, I

503
00:31:49.280 --> 00:31:56.640
appreciate doing this. This has, this has been really neat. She got you. The very first night

504
00:31:56.640 --> 00:32:01.760
that I came on three years ago, it was, uh, there was me and three other guys and everybody was

505
00:32:01.760 --> 00:32:08.240
asking us questions. He said, she said, yeah, I think. Yeah. And that was the first time I

506
00:32:08.240 --> 00:32:12.640
was even on one of these zooms and she put me on there and yeah, I was pretty, I was pretty nervous.

507
00:32:14.880 --> 00:32:20.480
But you know, you, you did a lot, you did a lot, uh, you did a lot of hard work in the last three

508
00:32:20.480 --> 00:32:25.520
years and a lot of different things happened. And you know, I just think it's awesome. And we're so

509
00:32:25.520 --> 00:32:29.200
glad that you're part of this community. These are the kind of guys that we have in this community,

510
00:32:29.200 --> 00:32:36.560
ladies, just amazing guys, thought of the earth, wonderful, um, followers of Jesus and, uh, just,

511
00:32:36.560 --> 00:32:42.560
and just great friends, great sons, great fathers. And so we're so glad to have you with us. All

512
00:32:42.560 --> 00:32:47.760
right. So I'm going to go ahead and jump to our next don't forget, email us put tie in the subject

513
00:32:47.760 --> 00:32:52.640
line, please include a bio or some in some pictures. Otherwise, um, you're going to make

514
00:32:52.640 --> 00:32:57.680
us do a lot of footwork going to find your, your spirit mate match profile. Okay. So we don't want

515
00:32:57.680 --> 00:33:01.040
to do that. I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that or to not do

516
00:33:01.040 --> 00:33:09.840
it. All right. I'm going to, all right. It's just me back now. All right. We're going to go ahead

517
00:33:09.840 --> 00:33:15.680
and we want to do these a little quicker so that we can, um, get to love seats tonight.

518
00:33:15.680 --> 00:33:23.600
So our next, um, our next single spotlight is also an OG who's been with us for quite some time.

519
00:33:23.600 --> 00:33:31.200
Also another great guy that we are proud to have in this community. And I'd like to introduce all

520
00:33:31.200 --> 00:33:36.800
of you ladies to Mr. Paul Brandt. I have a funny story to tell you about Paul and I call him tall

521
00:33:36.800 --> 00:33:41.120
Paul. Okay. And the reason why is because I'm five 10, as you guys know, I was talking about

522
00:33:41.120 --> 00:33:46.240
being really tall, but before I met him in person, cause Paul and I have met in person, but before I

523
00:33:46.240 --> 00:33:51.760
met him in person, you know, I was just talking to the guys and I was, I was asking him how tall

524
00:33:51.760 --> 00:33:55.360
they were, you know, cause you know, you ladies, you're always like, how tall are they? You know,

525
00:33:55.360 --> 00:34:00.560
they, you know, they, you know, they, you know, I thought Paul looked tall, like a taller guy,

526
00:34:00.560 --> 00:34:05.120
you know, sitting in his chair. And I was just like, Hey Paul, how tall are you? You know?

527
00:34:05.120 --> 00:34:09.920
And I expected him to, you know, say like, you know, six, three or something. And what did you

528
00:34:09.920 --> 00:34:21.360
say, Paul? I said my height, six, 11, probably. Did I lie to you? Okay. But when he says that guy,

529
00:34:22.400 --> 00:34:27.440
no, you know, you said six 11, but when you said that, like, because I was joking around about how

530
00:34:27.440 --> 00:34:31.600
women want really tall men. And when he said six 11, I thought he was kidding. I was like, Oh,

531
00:34:31.600 --> 00:34:35.520
whatever. You know, you're almost seven feet tall. Yeah, sure. Whatever, you know, kind of thing.

532
00:34:36.320 --> 00:34:41.199
But he wasn't kidding. And he's like, no, I'm serious, Jack. And I'm like, Oh, wow. And then

533
00:34:41.199 --> 00:34:45.199
I met him in person and guess what? It's, it's the truth because I'm five 10 and I was just like,

534
00:34:45.199 --> 00:34:52.400
hi. And I love that because I always feel taller than everybody in the room. And I felt really

535
00:34:52.400 --> 00:34:58.640
little, I felt like a little petite woman and and I'm not. Okay. So we love Paul. Paul's been

536
00:34:58.640 --> 00:34:59.840
around for a while also.

537
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:06.760
someone that has been, you know, or someone who has shown

538
00:35:06.760 --> 00:35:11.940
themselves to be another, you know, wonderful friend and

539
00:35:11.960 --> 00:35:15.300
brother to ladies here and just all kinds of different wonderful

540
00:35:15.300 --> 00:35:19.080
things. And so, Paul, I know you, but I'm gonna ask you a lot

541
00:35:19.080 --> 00:35:21.880
of questions so that other people get to know you. So where

542
00:35:21.880 --> 00:35:25.160
do you live? And what are you up to? What do you do for a living?

543
00:35:25.160 --> 00:35:26.880
What are you into? What are your hobbies?

544
00:35:26.880 --> 00:35:33.680
Yeah, so I live in Whittier, California. So that's about it's

545
00:35:33.680 --> 00:35:38.360
kind of in between downtown LA and Orange County. Maybe a

546
00:35:38.360 --> 00:35:43.280
little bit closer to the Orange County side. I am. I'm a special

547
00:35:43.280 --> 00:35:49.240
education teacher. And I got two dogs. They're, they're like my,

548
00:35:49.520 --> 00:35:53.240
my fur babies. So I do a lot of things with them. I like to be

549
00:35:53.240 --> 00:35:56.120
outside, take them for hikes and go to the...

550
00:35:56.160 --> 00:35:57.440
What kind of dogs do you have?

551
00:35:58.440 --> 00:36:02.880
Big dogs. I mean, you know, like I have a German, my, my girl dog

552
00:36:02.880 --> 00:36:06.800
Hope, she's, she's a German Shepherd and a little bit of

553
00:36:06.800 --> 00:36:09.760
like the Malinois, the Belgian Shepherd, like the police dog.

554
00:36:09.760 --> 00:36:12.520
So she's like, needs a lot of walks and, you know, got a lot

555
00:36:12.520 --> 00:36:15.080
of energy, but she's a sweetheart. And then I got my

556
00:36:15.080 --> 00:36:21.040
buddy. His name is Buddy. And he's a flat quarter. Yeah,

557
00:36:21.040 --> 00:36:24.200
unusual name for a dog, right? But I don't always wanted ever

558
00:36:24.200 --> 00:36:26.680
since I used to live in Oklahoma, I live in Tulsa,

559
00:36:26.680 --> 00:36:30.280
Oklahoma for six years, I went to college out there. And one

560
00:36:30.280 --> 00:36:36.040
semester in college, my, my friend had a dog named Buddy.

561
00:36:36.320 --> 00:36:38.400
And I thought that I thought that was the coolest thing. So

562
00:36:38.400 --> 00:36:41.320
then when I got to really live that out as an adult, I said,

563
00:36:41.360 --> 00:36:46.000
I'm naming him Buddy kind of kind of looks similar to Buddy.

564
00:36:46.440 --> 00:36:49.080
But yeah, so I spent time with my dogs. I like to do stuff

565
00:36:49.120 --> 00:36:54.560
outside. I'm a DI, kind of DIY guy, like, you know, try to be

566
00:36:54.640 --> 00:36:58.400
a try to think I'm handy, and do try things. And, you know, I

567
00:36:58.400 --> 00:37:01.640
might, I might include a lot of YouTube video videos, but I want

568
00:37:01.640 --> 00:37:07.760
to try something. I, I'm kind of like Ty in terms of like, I, I

569
00:37:07.760 --> 00:37:10.920
enjoy cooking. I'm not real good at it. But it's like something

570
00:37:10.920 --> 00:37:15.480
that I started doing when I moved into this place. And I

571
00:37:15.480 --> 00:37:18.720
just, I'm not like, I'm not going to cook for 10 people. But

572
00:37:18.720 --> 00:37:21.720
I can like contribute, I like to team cook with people. And

573
00:37:22.640 --> 00:37:26.160
because I like to eat good food. And that usually includes

574
00:37:27.280 --> 00:37:31.440
Italian food, because on my mom's side, I'm Italian. So

575
00:37:31.440 --> 00:37:33.640
it's kind of hard to beat that, in my opinion. But I like all

576
00:37:33.640 --> 00:37:38.040
kinds of different food. And yeah, I'll probably love that.

577
00:37:38.080 --> 00:37:40.040
Or I can just stop there for now.

578
00:37:42.080 --> 00:37:44.920
No, no, I love it. I love all those things. And so Paul, have

579
00:37:44.920 --> 00:37:45.960
you ever been married?

580
00:37:46.640 --> 00:37:47.560
Never been married.

581
00:37:49.120 --> 00:37:51.080
Okay, never married. And do you have any kids?

582
00:37:52.120 --> 00:37:53.000
No kids.

583
00:37:54.080 --> 00:37:56.280
Okay. And do you still want to have children?

584
00:37:58.520 --> 00:38:02.520
So when it comes to kids, I definitely I love kids. I did

585
00:38:02.600 --> 00:38:06.640
youth ministry for a long time, kids ministry at my church. And

586
00:38:06.640 --> 00:38:12.200
then being a teacher, you know, I was around kids a lot. And now

587
00:38:12.200 --> 00:38:15.720
I'm not nearly as much. I serve a different population. Now,

588
00:38:15.720 --> 00:38:20.080
like young adults in special needs. But I would love to be

589
00:38:20.080 --> 00:38:26.080
around kids in some shape, shape, or fashion. And

590
00:38:26.400 --> 00:38:31.560
biological, you know, or, or otherwise. I think I'd like that

591
00:38:31.560 --> 00:38:33.920
in my life in some capacity, for sure.

592
00:38:36.240 --> 00:38:40.120
I think you'd make a phenomenal father. And so I think that

593
00:38:40.120 --> 00:38:42.800
would be great. Father figure. Do what?

594
00:38:43.400 --> 00:38:45.680
Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt. I was I'm kind of a big kid. I

595
00:38:45.680 --> 00:38:48.480
like to play. I like to play. And I like, you know, just

596
00:38:48.480 --> 00:38:54.480
things, sports and stuff. Yeah. So yeah. Oh, Paul, how old are

597
00:38:54.480 --> 00:38:58.640
you? I'll be 49 in 10 days.

598
00:39:00.840 --> 00:39:05.080
Exactly. Your birthday is right before mine. 12. What are you

599
00:39:05.080 --> 00:39:05.640
the 16th?

600
00:39:06.880 --> 00:39:08.200
Huh? Yeah.

601
00:39:08.560 --> 00:39:12.600
Oh, yeah. Anyway, baby. All right. Yeah. And you're just

602
00:39:12.600 --> 00:39:16.960
right behind me. 49. I'm turning 50. I'll just I'll check it out

603
00:39:16.960 --> 00:39:20.040
and let you know how it is. Okay. I'll check it out. I'll

604
00:39:20.040 --> 00:39:25.560
cross over to the new era. And I'll I'll let you know, I'll let

605
00:39:25.560 --> 00:39:28.080
you know if you should come over or not. I'll be like, Oh, I

606
00:39:28.080 --> 00:39:28.800
don't know.

607
00:39:32.080 --> 00:39:35.240
But hey, so Paul, what are you what are you looking for in a

608
00:39:35.240 --> 00:39:37.800
woman? What's the closest that you've gotten to getting

609
00:39:37.800 --> 00:39:40.000
married? You don't have to tell us the whole situation. But like

610
00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:42.480
how long ago was it that you were in your most serious

611
00:39:42.480 --> 00:39:43.760
relationship of your life?

612
00:39:45.680 --> 00:39:47.920
Oh, that's a good question. I mean, there was one that just

613
00:39:47.920 --> 00:39:51.840
ended in a few months ago, that was the longest was eight and a

614
00:39:51.840 --> 00:39:57.320
half months. And that was kind of, you know, we started doing

615
00:39:57.320 --> 00:39:59.920
work towards, you know, premarital type of stuff.

616
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.800
It was one of those like you do premarital stuff to discover if you're compatible

617
00:40:04.800 --> 00:40:06.900
and we just discovered kind of mutually.

618
00:40:06.900 --> 00:40:13.200
It's not in the same kind of season or same want the same things.

619
00:40:13.200 --> 00:40:17.100
And and then but then a couple years in 2021,

620
00:40:17.100 --> 00:40:19.000
I was engaged. I was married.

621
00:40:19.000 --> 00:40:23.200
I was engaged to after about six and a half months

622
00:40:23.200 --> 00:40:26.200
and and then kind of the same thing kind of started going through stuff

623
00:40:26.200 --> 00:40:27.700
and that didn't work out.

624
00:40:27.700 --> 00:40:32.900
So those are my two longest relationships.

625
00:40:33.900 --> 00:40:36.000
Those of you that are asking about age, it's about season.

626
00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:39.600
Let's match season. So you heard what Paul is wanting in life.

627
00:40:39.600 --> 00:40:44.100
He's wanting obviously a partner. He wants to be around children.

628
00:40:44.100 --> 00:40:48.500
So whether you have children already or you're still into having some biological children,

629
00:40:48.500 --> 00:40:50.600
and that's what you want to do. Paul,

630
00:40:50.600 --> 00:40:54.600
what else are you looking for in a spirit mate besides building a family together

631
00:40:54.600 --> 00:40:58.500
whether that family already exists or that family is going to be birthed through the two of you?

632
00:40:58.500 --> 00:41:02.800
What else are you looking for?

633
00:41:02.800 --> 00:41:04.900
You know, I've always had a heart for ministry.

634
00:41:04.900 --> 00:41:09.600
I love and I just love one of the things that I enjoyed ministry,

635
00:41:09.600 --> 00:41:14.000
but then I always had this feeling like I kind of like working as a team,

636
00:41:14.000 --> 00:41:17.800
a member of a team and I had good teams, you know, we had good teams in the church,

637
00:41:17.800 --> 00:41:21.800
but I kind of wanted like a partner to do ministry with whatever that looks like.

638
00:41:21.800 --> 00:41:23.600
I mean, it doesn't have to be formal.

639
00:41:23.600 --> 00:41:28.600
Sometimes just being able to have people over at your house can impact people like life group kind of things.

640
00:41:28.600 --> 00:41:33.600
And so I think I'd like somebody on the definitely on the same page that wants to,

641
00:41:33.600 --> 00:41:39.000
you know, spread the love of God and sees the kingdom doesn't has no has no limits.

642
00:41:39.000 --> 00:41:45.000
And that's why I like this community because kingdom minded matchmaking.

643
00:41:45.000 --> 00:41:48.200
But besides that,

644
00:41:48.200 --> 00:41:54.400
Yeah, I do. I do like to get out there and be outside and travel some.

645
00:41:54.400 --> 00:41:57.400
I haven't been traveling as much the last few years,

646
00:41:57.400 --> 00:42:01.900
but sometimes it could be a small thing like, you know, go to do a day trip somewhere,

647
00:42:01.900 --> 00:42:06.600
explore a city or your own city. So those types of things and culture.

648
00:42:06.600 --> 00:42:11.800
I like culture, you know, like Broadway or you know,

649
00:42:11.800 --> 00:42:18.800
like a show or, you know, different trying experience of experiencing a different type of cuisine like that.

650
00:42:18.800 --> 00:42:25.200
It kind of anything that, you know, it has to do with different cultures usually,

651
00:42:25.200 --> 00:42:27.600
you know, attracts me in some way, shape or form.

652
00:42:27.600 --> 00:42:31.500
So things like that that we kind of kind of learn together grow together.

653
00:42:31.500 --> 00:42:36.600
That's a thing somebody to grow with, you know, I'm not perfect and I've done a lot of work,

654
00:42:36.600 --> 00:42:42.700
you know, hard work kind of stuff and I'm looking for somebody willing to like go there

655
00:42:42.700 --> 00:42:45.000
and just build a build something real, you know,

656
00:42:45.000 --> 00:42:50.400
something intimate that comes from being honest with each other with where we're at,

657
00:42:50.400 --> 00:42:54.200
you know, that's that's I mean just full disclosure.

658
00:42:54.200 --> 00:42:59.100
That's why the last relationship ended because she just wasn't wanting to go there

659
00:42:59.100 --> 00:43:02.200
and not to paint her out as a bad person.

660
00:43:02.200 --> 00:43:05.400
I'm not, you know, but it's just I realized that

661
00:43:05.400 --> 00:43:06.800
and it's a learning experience, right?

662
00:43:06.800 --> 00:43:10.900
Like I want to be with somebody that wants to grow together.

663
00:43:10.900 --> 00:43:15.300
I think Raul, you know, Raul, you put that on Facebook.

664
00:43:15.300 --> 00:43:19.000
Yeah, really stuck out to me just finding the right person,

665
00:43:19.000 --> 00:43:24.100
but the person that can grow with and like that.

666
00:43:24.100 --> 00:43:27.500
Yeah, that's exactly what God wants for all of you as far as Kingdom marriage.

667
00:43:27.500 --> 00:43:31.200
Kingdom marriage is a marriage where you have room to grow where you're growing.

668
00:43:31.200 --> 00:43:33.200
You're both growing. You're both evolving.

669
00:43:33.200 --> 00:43:37.900
You're both becoming better versions of yourselves and it's important.

670
00:43:37.900 --> 00:43:41.700
It's important to understand that and Paul you've done so much work.

671
00:43:41.700 --> 00:43:43.500
You've changed so much since I've known you

672
00:43:43.500 --> 00:43:47.800
and you've really you know pressed in to be able to you know,

673
00:43:47.800 --> 00:43:52.700
change attachment styles that were not serving you in order to become more vulnerable

674
00:43:52.700 --> 00:43:55.700
and more open and I'm proud of you.

675
00:43:55.700 --> 00:43:59.500
So all of our guys all of our guys ladies have done their hard work.

676
00:43:59.500 --> 00:44:04.900
And so we're really glad that you guys have stuck in it to do that.

677
00:44:04.900 --> 00:44:09.700
So, let's see. What else kind of questions do people have?

678
00:44:09.700 --> 00:44:13.000
Are you able to relocate?

679
00:44:13.000 --> 00:44:17.100
I yes, I am. I don't have anything tying me here outside of you know,

680
00:44:17.100 --> 00:44:20.100
just job and things like that. I do.

681
00:44:20.100 --> 00:44:23.200
I do have some family here, but you know, I'm open-minded to it.

682
00:44:23.200 --> 00:44:27.200
I'll put it that way. Okay.

683
00:44:27.200 --> 00:44:30.900
All right. So if you think that you're a match for Paul, he's young at heart you guys.

684
00:44:30.900 --> 00:44:32.800
He's really active. He might be 49 years old,

685
00:44:32.800 --> 00:44:35.100
but he's very young at heart. You can see he's a big kid.

686
00:44:35.100 --> 00:44:39.300
He's going to want to play. He's going to want to cut up joke around.

687
00:44:39.300 --> 00:44:42.900
So if you're real like stiff and you know, you got to stick up your butt.

688
00:44:42.900 --> 00:44:45.000
You're probably not going to be the right match for him.

689
00:44:45.000 --> 00:44:47.900
Okay, you don't have to be tall. He is tall though.

690
00:44:47.900 --> 00:44:50.100
So remember, you know, if you're only five feet tall,

691
00:44:50.100 --> 00:44:52.400
you're going to probably need a ladder here. That's all right.

692
00:44:52.400 --> 00:44:55.500
He'll pick you up. It'll be all right. It'll all work out.

693
00:44:55.500 --> 00:45:00.000
You don't have to wear heels. It's okay. Just be yourself.

694
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:06.080
Um, yeah, he currently is in Whittier, California, but he is willing to relocate.

695
00:45:06.120 --> 00:45:07.360
Uh, he is pretty established.

696
00:45:07.360 --> 00:45:08.440
So he's been there for a while.

697
00:45:08.440 --> 00:45:09.600
So, and it's beautiful.

698
00:45:09.600 --> 00:45:11.240
You guys, California is gorgeous.

699
00:45:11.240 --> 00:45:15.440
I know that it's complicated a lot politically and financially

700
00:45:15.440 --> 00:45:17.120
as far as the fiscal landscape.

701
00:45:17.120 --> 00:45:19.500
But, um, he's been able to make it work.

702
00:45:19.500 --> 00:45:21.440
And Paul, did you decorate your house here?

703
00:45:22.400 --> 00:45:23.800
Is this your house behind you?

704
00:45:24.360 --> 00:45:25.480
That's Hobby Lobby.

705
00:45:25.480 --> 00:45:33.280
I should have that behind me because it's like after new year's, but you know what?

706
00:45:33.320 --> 00:45:34.440
I'll put it, I'll bring it down.

707
00:45:34.440 --> 00:45:35.200
No, it's okay.

708
00:45:35.240 --> 00:45:38.320
Listen, there's no shame in your game.

709
00:45:38.320 --> 00:45:40.760
I left my tree up till May one year, for real.

710
00:45:40.760 --> 00:45:42.360
This is only two days into the new year.

711
00:45:42.360 --> 00:45:42.820
You're good.

712
00:45:42.820 --> 00:45:47.360
And besides it shows ladies that, you know, you, you've got a little bit of a

713
00:45:47.360 --> 00:45:49.080
flair, um, to decorate.

714
00:45:49.080 --> 00:45:50.760
You remember ladies, he is a project guy.

715
00:45:50.760 --> 00:45:53.160
DIY likes to get his hands into some stuff.

716
00:45:53.640 --> 00:45:59.240
Um, and if you have kids, sorry to interrupt Jackie, but like, uh, me and my

717
00:45:59.240 --> 00:46:05.280
buddy Rob, you know, at an Airbnb in Atlanta, and I saw that and I love that

718
00:46:05.280 --> 00:46:09.600
artist and so I don't know, it's just like two spirits, it's like called like

719
00:46:09.600 --> 00:46:13.360
two spirits by the lake or something like that, anyway, spirit mates.

720
00:46:13.960 --> 00:46:14.560
I love it.

721
00:46:15.400 --> 00:46:16.720
I love it, you guys.

722
00:46:17.040 --> 00:46:22.800
So if you're, you're still raising kids, um, you know, Paul's looking to

723
00:46:22.800 --> 00:46:26.400
help someone, uh, to raise a family.

724
00:46:26.640 --> 00:46:30.360
And then if you're still wanting to have children, he's up for that as well.

725
00:46:30.720 --> 00:46:36.640
So put Paul B the letter B is in boy put Paul B because we have

726
00:46:36.640 --> 00:46:38.520
another Paul in our community.

727
00:46:38.760 --> 00:46:41.360
And so put Paul B in the subject line.

728
00:46:41.600 --> 00:46:44.280
Remember to include a bio and pictures.

729
00:46:44.520 --> 00:46:47.080
Please do not email us over and over and over again.

730
00:46:47.120 --> 00:46:48.120
We got your spotlight.

731
00:46:48.120 --> 00:46:50.360
If you sent it, we got your information.

732
00:46:50.640 --> 00:46:54.400
And if we think it's a match, if Paul thinks it's a match, um, if we want

733
00:46:54.400 --> 00:46:57.080
to make an introduction, then we will reach out to you and it'll be great.

734
00:46:57.400 --> 00:47:00.200
And remember there's more, there's more spotlights where these came from.

735
00:47:00.200 --> 00:47:01.160
So do not have FOMO.

736
00:47:01.480 --> 00:47:01.680
All right.

737
00:47:01.680 --> 00:47:02.880
So Paul, thanks so much.

738
00:47:02.880 --> 00:47:05.400
Is there anything that you want to say before we sign off and go to

739
00:47:05.400 --> 00:47:06.600
our last spotlight of the night?

740
00:47:08.960 --> 00:47:10.240
Happy new year, everybody.

741
00:47:11.360 --> 00:47:11.760
That's it.

742
00:47:12.520 --> 00:47:13.720
Happy new year.

743
00:47:14.400 --> 00:47:15.400
Happy new year, Paul.

744
00:47:17.600 --> 00:47:18.240
All right.

745
00:47:18.280 --> 00:47:19.240
Happy new year.

746
00:47:19.320 --> 00:47:19.920
Thanks, Paul.

747
00:47:20.920 --> 00:47:21.600
All right.

748
00:47:23.920 --> 00:47:25.240
And final spotlight.

749
00:47:25.280 --> 00:47:27.880
This, this guy is a little bit newer to me.

750
00:47:28.440 --> 00:47:33.680
Um, and, uh, but I have, I have introduced him to and sent him on a few

751
00:47:33.680 --> 00:47:38.120
dates since he's been, uh, around me and part of the community and all those

752
00:47:38.120 --> 00:47:41.960
ladies, uh, reported back that he was a great, he was a great, he was a great,

753
00:47:41.960 --> 00:47:46.640
he was a great, um, and so I've known him for, I think about a year now.

754
00:47:46.920 --> 00:47:52.680
And so everyone, I'd love for you to meet Scott.

755
00:47:53.200 --> 00:47:53.960
This is Scott.

756
00:47:56.960 --> 00:47:57.320
All right.

757
00:47:57.720 --> 00:47:58.080
All right.

758
00:47:58.840 --> 00:47:59.200
All right.

759
00:47:59.560 --> 00:47:59.920
All right.

760
00:48:00.560 --> 00:48:04.320
You move, you've moved a couple of times since you and I have known each other.

761
00:48:04.320 --> 00:48:05.960
And so where are you right now?

762
00:48:05.960 --> 00:48:06.640
Where do you live?

763
00:48:06.800 --> 00:48:09.920
Yeah, I think we've, we've known a little over a year and I've moved.

764
00:48:10.040 --> 00:48:14.600
This is my third city, uh, since January 2nd, last year, I'm

765
00:48:14.600 --> 00:48:16.160
in the Detroit area right now.

766
00:48:17.000 --> 00:48:18.040
Suburbs of Detroit.

767
00:48:20.920 --> 00:48:21.880
I'm so sorry.

768
00:48:22.080 --> 00:48:22.600
I was kidding.

769
00:48:25.920 --> 00:48:26.640
It's coming back.

770
00:48:27.000 --> 00:48:30.000
There's a really lot of, there's a lot of great cities around Detroit.

771
00:48:30.160 --> 00:48:30.760
Let's say that.

772
00:48:31.960 --> 00:48:33.160
Yes, there is.

773
00:48:33.200 --> 00:48:33.600
There is.

774
00:48:33.600 --> 00:48:35.760
And listen, Detroit is getting re gentrified.

775
00:48:35.800 --> 00:48:38.200
I was in Detroit a couple of years ago and it's really come back.

776
00:48:38.200 --> 00:48:42.640
All of these, all of these steel cities and these manufacturing cities,

777
00:48:42.640 --> 00:48:43.680
cause I was born in Cleveland.

778
00:48:43.680 --> 00:48:47.440
So Cleveland, Detroit, Pittsburgh, you know, Milwaukee, they're,

779
00:48:47.440 --> 00:48:48.680
they're, they're coming back.

780
00:48:49.200 --> 00:48:51.040
And so, and we're, and we're glad about that.

781
00:48:51.920 --> 00:48:53.680
I wasn't, I know you were in Cleveland.

782
00:48:56.480 --> 00:48:57.640
And so you just moved there.

783
00:48:57.640 --> 00:48:59.920
So you're probably not trying to relocate right now.

784
00:49:01.280 --> 00:49:06.200
Uh, I mean, work, I can kind of go over the call over the country.

785
00:49:06.720 --> 00:49:08.080
Um, so I'm still open to it.

786
00:49:09.240 --> 00:49:12.000
And I've lived in an Airbnb life for the last year because I'm

787
00:49:12.000 --> 00:49:13.240
moving and things like that.

788
00:49:13.520 --> 00:49:15.880
So not tied down, pretty simple to leave.

789
00:49:18.080 --> 00:49:18.560
Okay.

790
00:49:19.040 --> 00:49:20.720
So it is simple to leave.

791
00:49:20.720 --> 00:49:25.040
He can relocate, but if you are in any of these surrounding areas of Detroit,

792
00:49:25.040 --> 00:49:28.000
so if you're in Cleveland, Cleveland's one Cleveland's one Cleveland's one

793
00:49:28.000 --> 00:49:30.440
Cleveland's very far away from Detroit in Ohio.

794
00:49:30.840 --> 00:49:33.320
Um, there's some, also some other places that are close.

795
00:49:33.360 --> 00:49:36.280
My geography is bad past Ohio and Michigan.

796
00:49:36.280 --> 00:49:39.320
So, uh, um, so.

797
00:49:39.920 --> 00:49:40.920
It's possibility.

798
00:49:41.000 --> 00:49:44.760
It can meet halfway an hour and a half each way to meet up for a date.

799
00:49:44.800 --> 00:49:45.400
It would be great.

800
00:49:45.400 --> 00:49:47.000
So Scott, tell us about yourself.

801
00:49:47.000 --> 00:49:47.800
How old are you?

802
00:49:47.800 --> 00:49:49.600
Have you ever been married?

803
00:49:51.240 --> 00:49:54.280
I am 40 years old and I've never been married.

804
00:49:55.560 --> 00:50:00.040
No kids, guys, all three, all three of our spotlight.

805
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.400
I have never been married tonight for all of you ladies that are like, Oh,

806
00:50:03.680 --> 00:50:05.720
I'm the only person left in the world. That's never been married.

807
00:50:05.720 --> 00:50:09.640
That's not true. All right. So 40 years old, no kids,

808
00:50:09.640 --> 00:50:14.240
but you do want to have children, correct? Yeah, absolutely.

809
00:50:14.280 --> 00:50:17.880
You'd like to have some kids. Yep. All right.

810
00:50:18.520 --> 00:50:21.360
Like to have some kids. So Paul, tell us, you know, how,

811
00:50:21.400 --> 00:50:22.520
why do you think that you're not married?

812
00:50:22.520 --> 00:50:27.400
How close have you gotten to being married and how long have you been single

813
00:50:27.440 --> 00:50:28.560
and out of a relationship?

814
00:50:29.880 --> 00:50:34.000
Oh, there's a couple of relationships I thought might lead to marriage.

815
00:50:34.560 --> 00:50:40.040
Last one would have been ended in summer of 2023,

816
00:50:40.440 --> 00:50:43.240
I guess now I'm trying to get my years right.

817
00:50:45.560 --> 00:50:49.720
So I think the biggest thing for me is just having found that right person that

818
00:50:50.480 --> 00:50:54.960
we fit together for that, you know, to build that,

819
00:50:55.280 --> 00:51:00.120
build life together. So, um, great people, uh, great, great women. Um,

820
00:51:00.280 --> 00:51:03.480
but we just weren't, weren't the ones for each other at that point.

821
00:51:06.040 --> 00:51:10.480
Okay. It's fair. And a lot of you have the same similar stories as that.

822
00:51:10.480 --> 00:51:13.040
So, and how long have you, so summer,

823
00:51:13.040 --> 00:51:17.440
summer of 23 is the last relationship. Is that right? Yeah.

824
00:51:19.520 --> 00:51:23.640
Okay. Summer of 23. So, and of course you've been here and you've been doing

825
00:51:23.640 --> 00:51:27.880
hard work and been healing and making sure that all of those things are unpacked

826
00:51:27.880 --> 00:51:32.400
in order to start fresh and new. And so tell us, uh,

827
00:51:32.440 --> 00:51:35.920
besides working and you like work in like sales, right.

828
00:51:35.960 --> 00:51:40.000
Some kind of sales situation. Yeah. Yeah. I'm in sales leadership at a,

829
00:51:40.000 --> 00:51:43.840
at a home services contractor. So,

830
00:51:44.080 --> 00:51:47.680
okay. Besides your job, what are you into?

831
00:51:49.640 --> 00:51:52.440
Uh, yeah. I love my work, love my job. But besides that, uh,

832
00:51:52.520 --> 00:51:57.000
I'd love to be active. Uh, I like to play basketball, play basketball at this point,

833
00:51:57.000 --> 00:52:00.400
try to get once a week. Um, used to be two or three times a week,

834
00:52:00.440 --> 00:52:04.760
but my back doesn't enjoy two or three times a week as often.

835
00:52:05.440 --> 00:52:10.040
Um, yeah, I mean, play golf in the summer.

836
00:52:10.040 --> 00:52:12.680
I like to fly fish, snowboard, um,

837
00:52:12.680 --> 00:52:16.760
living in Michigan and the Midwest makes that tough. Um,

838
00:52:17.880 --> 00:52:19.760
but there's a few areas. Uh,

839
00:52:19.760 --> 00:52:22.240
I didn't just really like to spend time with my family and friends.

840
00:52:22.240 --> 00:52:25.160
I'm like, I'm up for anything. I'll never be the guy that says let's go hiking,

841
00:52:25.160 --> 00:52:29.880
but I'll go hiking if you suggest it. Um, so I just want to, you know,

842
00:52:29.880 --> 00:52:32.160
spend quality time with quality people is really what the,

843
00:52:32.280 --> 00:52:33.440
is the most important for me.

844
00:52:34.880 --> 00:52:37.720
Where's your, where's your family at now? Where are you originally from?

845
00:52:38.440 --> 00:52:42.520
Uh, well, I'm originally from Oklahoma. Um, I have,

846
00:52:43.400 --> 00:52:47.000
I have, um, some family in central Pennsylvania,

847
00:52:47.280 --> 00:52:49.520
a brother and his six kids with his wife,

848
00:52:49.720 --> 00:52:52.280
my parents and another brother and niece and nephew,

849
00:52:52.280 --> 00:52:53.960
his wife are in Indianapolis,

850
00:52:56.000 --> 00:52:59.600
where I was at before Cleveland. So that was my, that's where I started last year.

851
00:52:59.600 --> 00:53:04.600
That's right. Yes. You were in Indianapolis and you're in Cleveland and now you're

852
00:53:04.600 --> 00:53:08.880
in Detroit. Okay. Yep. All right. So spending time with your family,

853
00:53:08.920 --> 00:53:11.200
that's great. Okay. And then of course,

854
00:53:11.320 --> 00:53:15.040
all three guys for tonight are really, um,

855
00:53:15.080 --> 00:53:18.040
strong disciples of Christ ladies.

856
00:53:18.040 --> 00:53:22.280
They have their relationships with Jesus. Uh, they're not, you know,

857
00:53:22.320 --> 00:53:25.040
they're not just marginal Christians. And so Scott,

858
00:53:25.040 --> 00:53:28.360
tell us a little bit about your, your spiritual life.

859
00:53:29.720 --> 00:53:33.160
Yeah. Well, I mean, I grew up in church. Uh, my, uh,

860
00:53:33.200 --> 00:53:37.640
my family was very involved. Um, multiple pastors in my family, my,

861
00:53:37.680 --> 00:53:40.240
my grandparent, both my grandpa's actually ended up being pastors.

862
00:53:40.600 --> 00:53:44.360
I never met my mom's dad until I was like 18, but he had,

863
00:53:44.720 --> 00:53:46.880
surprisingly, um, was the pastor too,

864
00:53:47.640 --> 00:53:52.040
even though they hadn't seen each other in, you know, a long time. Um,

865
00:53:52.720 --> 00:53:55.840
but just grew up around church. Uh, I'd say when I went to college in my,

866
00:53:56.080 --> 00:53:57.840
you know, early twenties, I had that, I guess,

867
00:53:57.840 --> 00:54:00.960
rebel you would say rebellious stage because all I knew was church and I was,

868
00:54:00.960 --> 00:54:03.480
I just got to kind of figure my life out. I guess I thought there was something

869
00:54:03.480 --> 00:54:07.280
better out there, um, that it was not true. Um,

870
00:54:07.840 --> 00:54:11.240
so thankfully that I guess you'd say that heritage of just growing up in some

871
00:54:11.240 --> 00:54:15.360
church, um, just brought me back to where, where the truth is. Um,

872
00:54:15.600 --> 00:54:19.520
and so that's over the last year that has been tough when I moved to Cleveland,

873
00:54:19.520 --> 00:54:23.240
like leaving a good church, good friends and small groups, things like that.

874
00:54:23.600 --> 00:54:27.520
Finding a good church in Cleveland was difficult. Just trying other places.

875
00:54:28.040 --> 00:54:31.280
Some of the best churches I found were 40 minutes plus away. Um,

876
00:54:31.320 --> 00:54:34.200
here in Detroit, I've been very thankful. I found a really good church.

877
00:54:34.200 --> 00:54:37.160
That's 15, 20 minutes away. Um,

878
00:54:37.680 --> 00:54:39.920
and I've been able to get started getting plugged in. I guess.

879
00:54:39.960 --> 00:54:43.360
I've only been here for a few months and done some travel with work and stuff,

880
00:54:43.360 --> 00:54:46.080
but getting that plugged in has been very nice. Um,

881
00:54:46.080 --> 00:54:48.280
so that's a kind of a quick background.

882
00:54:49.760 --> 00:54:54.240
Yeah, no, that's great. Yeah. It is hard to move. It is hard to make connections,

883
00:54:54.240 --> 00:54:58.040
you know, especially when we're older. And so, um, you, you know,

884
00:54:58.080 --> 00:55:00.080
just doing that and, and.

885
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.120
to finding some place to get plugged in is really important.

886
00:55:03.120 --> 00:55:05.360
I'm just trying to see the questions here.

887
00:55:05.360 --> 00:55:06.200
What about adoption?

888
00:55:06.200 --> 00:55:07.600
Are you open to adoption as well?

889
00:55:07.600 --> 00:55:09.760
Are you open to someone who has children already

890
00:55:09.760 --> 00:55:11.640
and are you open to adoption?

891
00:55:11.640 --> 00:55:15.120
Yeah, absolutely, yes to both.

892
00:55:16.280 --> 00:55:18.560
My last relationship, she had two kids.

893
00:55:18.560 --> 00:55:21.680
I was very happy to, if that was, you know,

894
00:55:21.680 --> 00:55:23.160
part of my, you know,

895
00:55:23.160 --> 00:55:26.640
met a married her been happy to step into that role.

896
00:55:26.640 --> 00:55:27.880
Adoption the same way.

897
00:55:27.920 --> 00:55:31.560
My brother in Pennsylvania is not technically adopted,

898
00:55:31.560 --> 00:55:33.000
but he's an adopted brother.

899
00:55:33.960 --> 00:55:37.560
You know, came into my family's life

900
00:55:37.560 --> 00:55:38.840
when we were like about 22 each.

901
00:55:38.840 --> 00:55:41.120
He's a little, he's a year older than me.

902
00:55:41.120 --> 00:55:42.520
Exactly, almost to the day.

903
00:55:43.680 --> 00:55:46.360
And my parents have always been kind of bringing,

904
00:55:46.360 --> 00:55:48.200
you know, people who didn't have parents

905
00:55:48.200 --> 00:55:49.760
into our family's life.

906
00:55:49.760 --> 00:55:52.400
So it's something that's huge in my family.

907
00:55:52.400 --> 00:55:53.720
So definitely up for that.

908
00:55:55.120 --> 00:55:56.000
Awesome.

909
00:55:56.000 --> 00:55:58.520
Tommy, what is the first thing

910
00:55:58.520 --> 00:56:00.240
that you noticed about a woman that, you know,

911
00:56:00.240 --> 00:56:03.320
what's the first thing that attracts you to a woman?

912
00:56:03.320 --> 00:56:05.160
And guys, I know that there's a lot of guys here.

913
00:56:05.160 --> 00:56:06.760
We have a lot of new guys in our community

914
00:56:06.760 --> 00:56:08.560
and you guys are actually showing up to live stuff.

915
00:56:08.560 --> 00:56:10.720
So I love that instead of just watching replays.

916
00:56:10.720 --> 00:56:13.480
Guys, all of you answer that question in the chat.

917
00:56:13.480 --> 00:56:15.120
What's kind of the first thing that you noticed

918
00:56:15.120 --> 00:56:18.240
about a woman that makes you feel drawn to her?

919
00:56:18.240 --> 00:56:19.760
And so Scott, you can go ahead and answer that.

920
00:56:19.760 --> 00:56:21.880
And guys, you can answer that in the chat.

921
00:56:22.360 --> 00:56:26.200
Um, I think their smile.

922
00:56:26.200 --> 00:56:29.160
You can kind of tell a lot by the way somebody smiles,

923
00:56:30.240 --> 00:56:31.800
how genuine they are.

924
00:56:31.800 --> 00:56:33.960
It can definitely draw me in.

925
00:56:36.080 --> 00:56:38.760
So I guess if you go physical and then once you get

926
00:56:38.760 --> 00:56:41.320
to start, you actually talk to somebody or meet them,

927
00:56:41.320 --> 00:56:45.200
just the way they treat other people, kindness.

928
00:56:45.200 --> 00:56:48.200
You can just tell something when somebody's genuinely kind.

929
00:56:48.200 --> 00:56:51.400
And then that's, I think, big things that are missing

930
00:56:51.920 --> 00:56:52.760
in our society today.

931
00:56:52.760 --> 00:56:54.960
So somebody who's kind is huge.

932
00:56:56.880 --> 00:56:58.760
Do you know what your personality type is

933
00:56:58.760 --> 00:57:00.880
on any of the personality tests?

934
00:57:00.880 --> 00:57:01.720
Yeah, I do.

935
00:57:01.720 --> 00:57:02.560
Enneagram, Myers-Briggs?

936
00:57:02.560 --> 00:57:03.400
Oh, yeah.

937
00:57:03.400 --> 00:57:04.240
What is it?

938
00:57:04.240 --> 00:57:05.360
Uh, DISC is the one I know the most.

939
00:57:05.360 --> 00:57:08.120
I know a little bit, I'm super, super high D.

940
00:57:09.600 --> 00:57:10.440
High D, okay.

941
00:57:10.440 --> 00:57:13.480
So you get the job done, you're focused, you're a builder.

942
00:57:13.480 --> 00:57:14.440
Yep.

943
00:57:14.440 --> 00:57:15.280
Yeah.

944
00:57:15.280 --> 00:57:16.120
Absolutely.

945
00:57:16.120 --> 00:57:18.320
I'm a get it done no matter what the cost.

946
00:57:18.320 --> 00:57:19.680
Like, we're just going to do it.

947
00:57:19.680 --> 00:57:20.680
Get her done.

948
00:57:20.680 --> 00:57:21.520
Yep.

949
00:57:21.520 --> 00:57:23.000
Get it done.

950
00:57:23.000 --> 00:57:24.600
So that's a leader personality.

951
00:57:24.600 --> 00:57:25.640
So that's great.

952
00:57:26.640 --> 00:57:29.960
And then what do you think your friends would say about you?

953
00:57:29.960 --> 00:57:33.320
Like, if I asked them, hey, you know, tell me about Scott.

954
00:57:33.320 --> 00:57:34.680
You know, what's Scott like?

955
00:57:34.680 --> 00:57:36.080
How would they describe you?

956
00:57:37.640 --> 00:57:40.040
My best friend might call me a little stubborn.

957
00:57:42.040 --> 00:57:43.640
All right, that's fair.

958
00:57:43.640 --> 00:57:44.480
But that's, I don't know,

959
00:57:44.480 --> 00:57:46.680
that's the high D in me probably for sure.

960
00:57:46.880 --> 00:57:48.920
Um, loyal.

961
00:57:48.920 --> 00:57:52.560
Um, I think they definitely call me loyal.

962
00:57:52.560 --> 00:57:53.400
They're for people.

963
00:57:53.400 --> 00:57:55.960
My, something that my parents instilled in me

964
00:57:55.960 --> 00:57:57.600
watching them doing is just serving other people

965
00:57:57.600 --> 00:57:58.440
in their entire lives.

966
00:57:58.440 --> 00:57:59.280
And that's huge to me.

967
00:57:59.280 --> 00:58:00.440
I think my parents, my friends would,

968
00:58:00.440 --> 00:58:01.680
would say that about me.

969
00:58:02.920 --> 00:58:03.840
Honest.

970
00:58:06.280 --> 00:58:07.120
To speak the truth.

971
00:58:07.120 --> 00:58:10.240
Sometimes a little, doesn't need to be so harsh sometimes.

972
00:58:10.240 --> 00:58:13.160
That's, that's, that could be one of my flaws.

973
00:58:14.160 --> 00:58:15.720
But one of my best friends.

974
00:58:15.720 --> 00:58:16.560
That's the D.

975
00:58:16.560 --> 00:58:17.560
That's the D in you.

976
00:58:17.560 --> 00:58:18.760
It is.

977
00:58:18.760 --> 00:58:20.840
And I learned that a long time ago.

978
00:58:20.840 --> 00:58:22.680
And it's one of the things I have to catch myself sometimes.

979
00:58:22.680 --> 00:58:25.720
You know, we have the seasons where you're, you know,

980
00:58:25.720 --> 00:58:28.440
whatever life becomes, you kind of, you know, figure, okay,

981
00:58:28.440 --> 00:58:29.680
I gotta be a little bit nicer.

982
00:58:29.680 --> 00:58:30.600
I'm a little short now.

983
00:58:30.600 --> 00:58:32.440
I'm a little annoyed, whatever it is.

984
00:58:33.360 --> 00:58:36.560
One of my best friends speaks about my discernment a lot.

985
00:58:36.560 --> 00:58:40.720
Just, they're like, hey, I see things a little bit earlier

986
00:58:40.720 --> 00:58:42.040
than some people see things.

987
00:58:42.040 --> 00:58:46.120
Just that, that, that really comes from a lot of came from,

988
00:58:46.120 --> 00:58:48.560
we all, there's a group of us that went to a church

989
00:58:48.560 --> 00:58:52.280
and I was like, we all ended up leaving that church.

990
00:58:52.280 --> 00:58:53.360
Almost a lot of people did,

991
00:58:53.360 --> 00:58:55.280
but I kind of saw some things earlier

992
00:58:55.280 --> 00:58:57.600
and we just started talking about it in our friend group.

993
00:58:57.600 --> 00:58:59.400
And he was like, man, you knew that like three months

994
00:58:59.400 --> 00:59:01.720
before I even thought about it.

995
00:59:01.720 --> 00:59:03.320
And I was like, yeah, it's hard.

996
00:59:03.320 --> 00:59:05.360
It's sometimes hard to have conversations like that.

997
00:59:05.360 --> 00:59:07.680
Cause you're not trying to be negative.

998
00:59:09.200 --> 00:59:10.040
Right.

999
00:59:10.200 --> 00:59:11.400
Those are a few things.

1000
00:59:12.520 --> 00:59:13.480
Yeah, no, that's good.

1001
00:59:13.480 --> 00:59:16.920
So discerning and loyal and maybe a little stubborn,

1002
00:59:16.920 --> 00:59:18.840
but that can, that can be a good thing

1003
00:59:18.840 --> 00:59:21.400
if it's directed towards the right thing.

1004
00:59:21.400 --> 00:59:22.240
And my mom would say too.

1005
00:59:22.240 --> 00:59:25.960
So these are all, your mom, your mom would say that?

1006
00:59:25.960 --> 00:59:26.800
Yeah, she'd say it too.

1007
00:59:26.800 --> 00:59:28.360
So not just my friends.

1008
00:59:28.360 --> 00:59:29.400
Yeah.

1009
00:59:29.400 --> 00:59:32.920
Where, where are you in birth order of your siblings?

1010
00:59:32.920 --> 00:59:33.760
The oldest.

1011
00:59:34.840 --> 00:59:35.680
You're the oldest.

1012
00:59:35.680 --> 00:59:36.520
All right.

1013
00:59:36.520 --> 00:59:38.560
So that's where a lot of that D comes from.

1014
00:59:38.600 --> 00:59:42.560
You know, oldest ladies, gentlemen, you guys know,

1015
00:59:42.560 --> 00:59:44.000
oldest, oldest siblings.

1016
00:59:44.000 --> 00:59:45.440
You're usually a little bit more driven.

1017
00:59:45.440 --> 00:59:47.640
D stands for driven for me.

1018
00:59:47.640 --> 00:59:50.320
And so, yes.

1019
00:59:50.320 --> 00:59:53.000
And then middle children like me, we're the high eyes.

1020
00:59:53.000 --> 00:59:54.160
We're the entertainers.

1021
00:59:54.160 --> 00:59:57.560
We try to keep everybody alive by making them laugh.

1022
00:59:57.560 --> 00:59:59.960
That's definite, that's definite, that's definite.

1023
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:01.000
Yep.

1024
01:00:01.000 --> 01:00:02.000
Yep.

1025
01:00:02.000 --> 01:00:03.000
All right.

1026
01:00:03.000 --> 01:00:05.640
Was there anything else that you want to share?

1027
01:00:05.640 --> 01:00:09.480
You guys, please email us, admin at JackieDorman.com.

1028
01:00:09.480 --> 01:00:13.160
If you think that you're a match for Scott, you're going to be someone who wants to build

1029
01:00:13.160 --> 01:00:14.320
a family together.

1030
01:00:14.320 --> 01:00:18.280
If you have children, you want to adopt children, that's all plus.

1031
01:00:18.280 --> 01:00:24.840
He will go hiking with you, but he prefers some sport activity, fishing and golfing and

1032
01:00:24.840 --> 01:00:26.360
snowboarding.

1033
01:00:26.360 --> 01:00:29.120
Really active guy likes to play basketball.

1034
01:00:29.120 --> 01:00:33.400
So anything active, have you tried pickleball yet?

1035
01:00:33.400 --> 01:00:35.960
I have on a work trip.

1036
01:00:35.960 --> 01:00:39.280
We played and I bought a paddle a couple of days ago.

1037
01:00:39.280 --> 01:00:40.280
So I'm in.

1038
01:00:40.280 --> 01:00:41.280
There you go.

1039
01:00:41.280 --> 01:00:42.280
I'm in now.

1040
01:00:42.280 --> 01:00:43.280
Pickleball action?

1041
01:00:43.280 --> 01:00:44.280
Yep.

1042
01:00:44.280 --> 01:00:45.280
Okay.

1043
01:00:45.280 --> 01:00:51.600
So if you're active, you like to have fun, if you want to partner with a guy that's driven,

1044
01:00:51.600 --> 01:00:55.320
that's going to get the job done that you can trust because he's loyal and he's honest

1045
01:00:55.560 --> 01:01:01.880
and you know that if he's in charge of it, it's going to be finished.

1046
01:01:01.880 --> 01:01:06.840
And a man that is a good judge of other people's character, he's discerning, he's going to

1047
01:01:06.840 --> 01:01:07.840
protect you.

1048
01:01:07.840 --> 01:01:08.920
He's going to keep you safe.

1049
01:01:08.920 --> 01:01:13.800
Someone who's close to his family, someone who loves family, then this is the guy for

1050
01:01:13.800 --> 01:01:14.800
you.

1051
01:01:14.800 --> 01:01:17.800
And so please email us.

1052
01:01:18.800 --> 01:01:21.800
Oh, it kind of froze.

1053
01:01:29.800 --> 01:01:32.800
Did she freeze for everyone?

1054
01:01:32.800 --> 01:01:35.800
Yes, we froze.

1055
01:01:35.800 --> 01:01:36.800
I'm frozen.

1056
01:01:36.800 --> 01:01:37.800
Not anymore.

1057
01:01:37.800 --> 01:01:38.800
You were.

1058
01:01:38.800 --> 01:01:39.800
Okay.

1059
01:01:39.800 --> 01:01:40.800
So put Scott.

1060
01:01:40.800 --> 01:01:45.880
I was going to add in, my dad's been a contractor my whole life so I can build a house from

1061
01:01:45.880 --> 01:01:46.880
the ground up.

1062
01:01:47.880 --> 01:01:48.880
We're good to go.

1063
01:01:54.880 --> 01:01:56.880
I don't know if that.

1064
01:01:56.880 --> 01:01:57.880
Are we back?

1065
01:01:57.880 --> 01:01:58.880
I'm here.

1066
01:01:58.880 --> 01:02:00.880
You're getting frozen, Jackie.

1067
01:02:00.880 --> 01:02:03.880
Okay, you guys, we have no idea what's going on.

1068
01:02:03.880 --> 01:02:04.880
Sorry about this.

1069
01:02:04.880 --> 01:02:05.880
Okay.

1070
01:02:05.880 --> 01:02:06.880
Put Scott in the subject line.

1071
01:02:06.880 --> 01:02:10.880
If we think it's a good intro, if Scott thinks it's a good intro, then we will contact you.

1072
01:02:10.880 --> 01:02:11.880
Please don't stalk us.

1073
01:02:11.880 --> 01:02:14.880
There's plenty of spotlights to go around.

1074
01:02:14.880 --> 01:02:19.880
And we promise you that we will continue to spotlight guys in this community.

1075
01:02:19.880 --> 01:02:20.880
All right.

1076
01:02:20.880 --> 01:02:23.880
Okay, so Scott, thank you so much for joining us.

1077
01:02:23.880 --> 01:02:26.880
And we're glad you're here.

1078
01:02:26.880 --> 01:02:27.880
All right.

1079
01:02:27.880 --> 01:02:32.880
Okay, so we're gonna go ahead and try to do a little bit of love seat.

1080
01:02:32.880 --> 01:02:33.880
Okay.

1081
01:02:33.880 --> 01:02:37.880
And so if you want to jump in the love seat, Bethany, if we have anyone that wanted to

1082
01:02:37.880 --> 01:02:42.880
jump in the love seat, let's go ahead and get them queued up.

1083
01:02:42.880 --> 01:02:45.880
Yeah, Shawnee would like to go tonight.

1084
01:02:45.880 --> 01:02:50.880
And then also, Dinah, if she's here, said she would like to ask a question.

1085
01:02:50.880 --> 01:02:52.880
I know those two for sure.

1086
01:02:52.880 --> 01:02:53.880
I see Shawnee.

1087
01:02:53.880 --> 01:02:58.880
Shawnee, if you can raise your hand so Jackie can see you.

1088
01:02:58.880 --> 01:03:00.880
There you go.

1089
01:03:00.880 --> 01:03:02.880
All right, so Shawnee, just go ahead and unmute yourself.

1090
01:03:02.880 --> 01:03:04.880
Make sure you're on camera.

1091
01:03:04.880 --> 01:03:07.880
All right, guys, I think I forgot to say that the podcast is launching.

1092
01:03:07.880 --> 01:03:11.880
We're going to drop our first episode on my 50th birthday, January 16th.

1093
01:03:11.880 --> 01:03:14.880
We have an amazing guest for our first podcast episode.

1094
01:03:14.880 --> 01:03:16.880
You're going to really love it.

1095
01:03:16.880 --> 01:03:18.880
But the studio is nearly finished.

1096
01:03:18.880 --> 01:03:23.880
We have a gallery wall that's going to be going up over here of iconic women

1097
01:03:23.880 --> 01:03:25.880
and things that are important to me.

1098
01:03:25.880 --> 01:03:28.880
Tell a little story of what I love over there on that gallery wall.

1099
01:03:28.880 --> 01:03:30.880
And it's going to be incredible.

1100
01:03:30.880 --> 01:03:32.880
So excited about that.

1101
01:03:32.880 --> 01:03:35.880
All right, Shawnee, you're up, girl.

1102
01:03:35.880 --> 01:03:36.880
What you got?

1103
01:03:36.880 --> 01:03:38.880
Okay, I'm going to read my question, if you don't mind,

1104
01:03:38.880 --> 01:03:40.880
just because I already wrote it.

1105
01:03:40.880 --> 01:03:41.880
Sure.

1106
01:03:41.880 --> 01:03:43.880
So today I kind of freaked out.

1107
01:03:43.880 --> 01:03:47.880
My ex texted me to tell me that he still loves me.

1108
01:03:47.880 --> 01:03:52.880
And we have a way of communicating that uses like a code of emojis.

1109
01:03:52.880 --> 01:03:56.880
And so he like made an excuse to send me this random meditation so that he

1110
01:03:56.880 --> 01:03:59.880
could essentially send emojis.

1111
01:03:59.880 --> 01:04:02.880
And around this time, he didn't just add the heart, the I love you emojis.

1112
01:04:02.880 --> 01:04:06.880
He added a infinity sign.

1113
01:04:06.880 --> 01:04:09.880
And it kind of threw me off a little bit because, you know, X.

1114
01:04:09.880 --> 01:04:13.880
And around this time, I just recently met a really good guy.

1115
01:04:13.880 --> 01:04:15.880
Like a, like a whole separate situation.

1116
01:04:15.880 --> 01:04:18.880
And I was excited to move forward.

1117
01:04:18.880 --> 01:04:22.880
And this guy, the good, the new guy.

1118
01:04:22.880 --> 01:04:24.880
Like.

1119
01:04:24.880 --> 01:04:26.880
It's level two because I haven't seen him in person.

1120
01:04:26.880 --> 01:04:29.880
I haven't even fully seen his full face because he wears these glasses for

1121
01:04:29.880 --> 01:04:32.880
our calls. So I haven't actually seen him.

1122
01:04:32.880 --> 01:04:35.880
But he considers himself courting me.

1123
01:04:35.880 --> 01:04:40.880
And so it kind of just threw me off today when.

1124
01:04:40.880 --> 01:04:43.880
This X text me because I didn't really know what to do with that.

1125
01:04:43.880 --> 01:04:45.880
Because on one hand.

1126
01:04:45.880 --> 01:04:48.880
Like we're supposed to stay open.

1127
01:04:48.880 --> 01:04:53.880
The X is a good guy. So it's not really a reason.

1128
01:04:54.880 --> 01:04:55.880
I don't know.

1129
01:04:55.880 --> 01:04:56.880
I don't know.

1130
01:04:56.880 --> 01:05:01.880
Maybe it's full circle.

1131
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:02.200
It is going pretty well with this new person.

1132
01:05:03.160 --> 01:05:04.000
And so-

1133
01:05:04.000 --> 01:05:06.000
Okay, well, let's process through this.

1134
01:05:06.000 --> 01:05:09.920
Okay, so why are you and your former boyfriend,

1135
01:05:09.920 --> 01:05:12.080
first of all, how long were you together

1136
01:05:12.080 --> 01:05:15.640
and to what level did this relationship get to?

1137
01:05:16.640 --> 01:05:18.920
So it was definitely level three.

1138
01:05:18.920 --> 01:05:21.520
We were definitely talking and considering marriage.

1139
01:05:22.400 --> 01:05:24.320
When it didn't work out, it was kind of a surprise.

1140
01:05:24.320 --> 01:05:25.640
Most of it was long distance.

1141
01:05:25.640 --> 01:05:27.400
And then in person, we just couldn't get it together.

1142
01:05:27.440 --> 01:05:30.360
So it was about, it was over the pandemic.

1143
01:05:30.360 --> 01:05:33.960
So it was about a whole year of pandemic,

1144
01:05:33.960 --> 01:05:35.160
getting to know each other.

1145
01:05:35.160 --> 01:05:36.000
And it was 2020-

1146
01:05:36.000 --> 01:05:37.960
And how long, how many times

1147
01:05:37.960 --> 01:05:40.360
did you guys see each other in person?

1148
01:05:40.360 --> 01:05:43.640
So twice, he came here once and then I went to where he is.

1149
01:05:43.640 --> 01:05:45.680
Okay, and how long ago did you break up?

1150
01:05:45.680 --> 01:05:47.560
2021 of new year.

1151
01:05:48.600 --> 01:05:50.520
And have you heard from him since then?

1152
01:05:50.520 --> 01:05:52.560
Yes, so occasionally, you know,

1153
01:05:52.560 --> 01:05:54.080
one of us will send some message

1154
01:05:54.080 --> 01:05:55.520
and there will be the hearts,

1155
01:05:55.520 --> 01:05:58.400
like every couple of seasons or something like that.

1156
01:05:58.400 --> 01:06:02.240
So it's not completely random,

1157
01:06:02.240 --> 01:06:05.040
but it's been a while since the last one.

1158
01:06:05.040 --> 01:06:07.920
Has he dated anyone since breaking up with you?

1159
01:06:07.920 --> 01:06:10.640
I'm sure, but not anyone that he's posted that I know.

1160
01:06:11.840 --> 01:06:13.000
Okay, all right.

1161
01:06:13.000 --> 01:06:18.000
So new year, y'all, a little old Lang sign, right?

1162
01:06:18.000 --> 01:06:23.000
A little, what's going on, revisiting the past,

1163
01:06:23.640 --> 01:06:26.680
looking at it through rose colored glasses, nostalgic.

1164
01:06:26.680 --> 01:06:29.880
You know, this happens at this time of year for sure.

1165
01:06:29.880 --> 01:06:31.680
So it could be that he's never found

1166
01:06:31.680 --> 01:06:33.400
anyone better than you.

1167
01:06:33.400 --> 01:06:35.320
When you say you couldn't get it together in person,

1168
01:06:35.320 --> 01:06:36.360
what does that mean?

1169
01:06:37.440 --> 01:06:39.080
I don't know if either of us knows.

1170
01:06:39.080 --> 01:06:41.480
I know that he was a lot older than I am,

1171
01:06:41.480 --> 01:06:42.760
much more successful.

1172
01:06:42.760 --> 01:06:45.840
And I don't feel like he ever saw me as an equal.

1173
01:06:45.840 --> 01:06:48.400
And so like little things just kept happening.

1174
01:06:48.400 --> 01:06:49.720
What's a lot older?

1175
01:06:49.720 --> 01:06:50.600
11 years.

1176
01:06:51.520 --> 01:06:52.520
Okay, 11 years.

1177
01:06:52.520 --> 01:06:54.280
And how old are you, Shawnee?

1178
01:06:54.280 --> 01:06:57.320
So I'm 39 now, but this was a few years ago.

1179
01:06:57.320 --> 01:06:59.160
So he was already like almost 50.

1180
01:07:00.120 --> 01:07:02.240
Okay, and then does he have children?

1181
01:07:02.240 --> 01:07:03.680
No.

1182
01:07:03.680 --> 01:07:05.320
Has he ever been married?

1183
01:07:05.320 --> 01:07:06.160
Yes.

1184
01:07:07.120 --> 01:07:09.280
Okay, has been married, doesn't have kids.

1185
01:07:09.280 --> 01:07:12.280
And how long was he divorced before you met him?

1186
01:07:12.280 --> 01:07:14.000
I think two years.

1187
01:07:14.000 --> 01:07:17.040
Okay, so a little, maybe a little rebounding there.

1188
01:07:17.040 --> 01:07:18.960
Okay, two years after marriage,

1189
01:07:18.960 --> 01:07:20.760
you know how long he was married for?

1190
01:07:22.080 --> 01:07:22.960
I don't think it was that long.

1191
01:07:22.960 --> 01:07:25.160
Maybe that was two years too.

1192
01:07:25.160 --> 01:07:28.880
Okay, and he's only been married once, right?

1193
01:07:28.880 --> 01:07:29.880
Yes.

1194
01:07:29.880 --> 01:07:31.560
Okay, been married for two years,

1195
01:07:31.560 --> 01:07:33.440
divorced for two years, meets you.

1196
01:07:33.440 --> 01:07:35.600
There's an age difference, you know,

1197
01:07:35.600 --> 01:07:37.400
and you know, that's substantial.

1198
01:07:37.400 --> 01:07:40.320
That's an entire decade and one year.

1199
01:07:40.320 --> 01:07:42.120
And so there's that age difference.

1200
01:07:42.120 --> 01:07:44.200
Plus that the ages that you guys were

1201
01:07:44.200 --> 01:07:45.720
when that was happening, you know,

1202
01:07:45.720 --> 01:07:47.000
he's about to turn 50,

1203
01:07:47.000 --> 01:07:49.800
you're in your like early to mid thirties, right?

1204
01:07:49.800 --> 01:07:52.080
And so, you know, remember friends,

1205
01:07:52.080 --> 01:07:54.320
we're not matching ages, we're matching seasons.

1206
01:07:54.320 --> 01:07:56.400
And so he might've been in a different season.

1207
01:07:56.400 --> 01:07:59.520
Long distance, you guys know that I have a lot of rules

1208
01:07:59.520 --> 01:08:01.480
around long distance for good reason,

1209
01:08:01.480 --> 01:08:03.600
because you can catch feelings for someone

1210
01:08:03.600 --> 01:08:05.720
that you will not have anything in common with

1211
01:08:05.720 --> 01:08:08.960
or any chemistry with in person, if you're not careful.

1212
01:08:08.960 --> 01:08:12.720
Gotta be really intentional with long distance.

1213
01:08:12.720 --> 01:08:15.760
Gotta see each other often as much as possible

1214
01:08:15.800 --> 01:08:17.399
and as quick as possible.

1215
01:08:21.520 --> 01:08:23.319
I feel like you guys are all frozen.

1216
01:08:27.279 --> 01:08:28.120
We can hear you.

1217
01:08:28.120 --> 01:08:28.960
You're okay.

1218
01:08:28.960 --> 01:08:30.359
Okay.

1219
01:08:30.359 --> 01:08:31.200
Okay.

1220
01:08:34.279 --> 01:08:37.880
So as quick as possible, and that's really important.

1221
01:08:37.880 --> 01:08:39.960
And so just seeing each other two times,

1222
01:08:39.960 --> 01:08:42.279
you know, you have no idea.

1223
01:08:42.279 --> 01:08:44.000
People were lonely during pandemic.

1224
01:08:45.000 --> 01:08:47.319
There's a lot of things that could be happening there.

1225
01:08:49.160 --> 01:08:51.279
That being said, can you guys still hear me?

1226
01:08:51.279 --> 01:08:52.680
Cause you're frozen.

1227
01:08:52.680 --> 01:08:54.560
Yeah, we can hear you, Jackie.

1228
01:08:54.560 --> 01:08:55.399
Okay.

1229
01:08:55.399 --> 01:08:58.240
That being said, I think that

1230
01:08:58.240 --> 01:09:02.200
because there wasn't anything abusive or toxic, okay?

1231
01:09:02.200 --> 01:09:04.760
Anything unhealthy about this situation,

1232
01:09:04.760 --> 01:09:06.399
it's possible that he's come to his senses

1233
01:09:06.399 --> 01:09:09.319
and realizes that he really deeply cares about you

1234
01:09:09.319 --> 01:09:10.840
and wants to get to know you better.

1235
01:09:10.840 --> 01:09:12.800
Cause remember, you don't really know each other that well.

1236
01:09:12.840 --> 01:09:15.120
You're only together twice in person.

1237
01:09:15.120 --> 01:09:18.080
And so my question for him, Shani, if I were you would be,

1238
01:09:18.080 --> 01:09:20.240
what's different this time?

1239
01:09:20.240 --> 01:09:21.880
It's a fair question.

1240
01:09:21.880 --> 01:09:23.960
You know, what's different this time?

1241
01:09:23.960 --> 01:09:26.600
If I'm gonna even entertain the idea of getting to,

1242
01:09:26.600 --> 01:09:29.720
you know, getting to know you better or revisiting this,

1243
01:09:29.720 --> 01:09:31.520
what's gonna be different?

1244
01:09:31.520 --> 01:09:33.240
How often are we gonna see each other?

1245
01:09:33.240 --> 01:09:34.800
How much distance is there?

1246
01:09:34.800 --> 01:09:36.720
How far away do you live from each other?

1247
01:09:36.720 --> 01:09:38.800
He's in Hawaii and I'm in Michigan.

1248
01:09:39.640 --> 01:09:40.479
Oh God.

1249
01:09:41.520 --> 01:09:42.359
Okay.

1250
01:09:43.080 --> 01:09:43.920
Oh.

1251
01:09:46.359 --> 01:09:47.279
Wow.

1252
01:09:48.760 --> 01:09:49.880
That's really far.

1253
01:09:49.880 --> 01:09:50.720
Okay.

1254
01:09:50.720 --> 01:09:52.479
And so, and you can relocate

1255
01:09:52.479 --> 01:09:54.480
cause he ain't moving to Michigan.

1256
01:09:54.480 --> 01:09:55.680
You got to move to Hawaii girl

1257
01:09:55.680 --> 01:09:58.520
because we both know that that's exactly the only thing

1258
01:09:58.520 --> 01:10:00.080
that makes sense to my mind.

1259
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:03.920
Okay.

1260
01:10:03.920 --> 01:10:07.640
So yeah, that's a lot of distance.

1261
01:10:07.640 --> 01:10:08.640
It's a lot.

1262
01:10:08.640 --> 01:10:09.640
Okay.

1263
01:10:09.640 --> 01:10:12.320
So that's, that is the honest conversation that you have to have.

1264
01:10:12.320 --> 01:10:14.760
It can't be through text messages.

1265
01:10:14.760 --> 01:10:21.080
Also if he really feels this way, you know, the texting, let's give you a phone call,

1266
01:10:21.080 --> 01:10:23.760
you know, did you respond yet to the text?

1267
01:10:23.760 --> 01:10:24.760
I did.

1268
01:10:24.760 --> 01:10:25.760
I didn't know what to do.

1269
01:10:25.760 --> 01:10:27.640
So I just said, thank you for the meditation.

1270
01:10:27.640 --> 01:10:30.520
Have an amazing new year with no heart emojis.

1271
01:10:30.520 --> 01:10:31.520
Oh.

1272
01:10:31.520 --> 01:10:32.520
Okay.

1273
01:10:32.520 --> 01:10:35.640
And then what did he say back?

1274
01:10:35.640 --> 01:10:36.640
He just hearted it.

1275
01:10:36.640 --> 01:10:41.360
Like, like, like liking it, but not like wrote more hearts.

1276
01:10:41.360 --> 01:10:42.360
Okay.

1277
01:10:42.360 --> 01:10:47.460
Well, listen, if you, if you still have any kind of feelings for him, if you feel like,

1278
01:10:47.460 --> 01:10:50.680
you know, if you feel like you need to pray about it, if you feel like it's a full circle

1279
01:10:50.680 --> 01:10:55.360
moment or that it could be, then you owe it to yourself to check it out.

1280
01:10:55.360 --> 01:10:59.960
As far as this other guy, you're, you know, once again, you're on the same trajectory,

1281
01:10:59.960 --> 01:11:03.400
you're talking to someone you haven't met in person, Sean, we've got to break this pattern

1282
01:11:03.400 --> 01:11:04.400
and we can't do this.

1283
01:11:04.400 --> 01:11:09.280
And you said his, his glasses cover his face to the point where you don't know what he

1284
01:11:09.280 --> 01:11:10.280
looks like.

1285
01:11:10.280 --> 01:11:14.880
I'm so what in the world does he have on scuba gear?

1286
01:11:14.880 --> 01:11:15.880
What are we doing?

1287
01:11:15.880 --> 01:11:20.680
So what happened was apparently he had some kind of injury when he was in the military.

1288
01:11:20.680 --> 01:11:22.480
So it's just a light sensitivity though.

1289
01:11:22.480 --> 01:11:24.000
It's nothing's actually wrong with his eyes.

1290
01:11:24.000 --> 01:11:25.000
I don't understand that.

1291
01:11:25.000 --> 01:11:26.000
I think they water.

1292
01:11:26.000 --> 01:11:29.960
And so he wears them to probably detect, protect his pride a little bit.

1293
01:11:29.960 --> 01:11:33.400
And then he's built it into his like public persona for branding purposes.

1294
01:11:33.400 --> 01:11:36.760
So he really doesn't really want to come out of it.

1295
01:11:36.760 --> 01:11:37.760
So that's been interesting.

1296
01:11:37.760 --> 01:11:38.760
Wait, wait.

1297
01:11:38.760 --> 01:11:39.760
Are they sunglasses?

1298
01:11:39.760 --> 01:11:40.760
Yes.

1299
01:11:40.760 --> 01:11:44.280
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no.

1300
01:11:44.280 --> 01:11:49.600
We do not know who he is, if he has sunglasses on.

1301
01:11:49.600 --> 01:11:50.600
Okay.

1302
01:11:50.600 --> 01:11:51.600
So I didn't tell you this.

1303
01:11:51.600 --> 01:11:52.600
I forgot.

1304
01:11:52.600 --> 01:11:56.120
But I got recommended to me by a friend that I know, like I've known her for like 10 years

1305
01:11:56.120 --> 01:11:57.480
and she knows them in person.

1306
01:11:57.480 --> 01:11:58.480
Yes.

1307
01:11:58.480 --> 01:11:59.760
Like they've been like, that's like one of her best friends.

1308
01:11:59.760 --> 01:12:01.760
And she goes, I've got a really good guy for you.

1309
01:12:01.760 --> 01:12:02.760
Okay.

1310
01:12:02.760 --> 01:12:03.760
All right.

1311
01:12:03.760 --> 01:12:04.760
Okay.

1312
01:12:04.760 --> 01:12:06.960
Otherwise we're like, Oh no, we don't know who that is.

1313
01:12:06.960 --> 01:12:07.960
Okay.

1314
01:12:07.960 --> 01:12:08.960
Okay.

1315
01:12:08.960 --> 01:12:10.960
So, and how far away does he live?

1316
01:12:10.960 --> 01:12:13.320
New York.

1317
01:12:13.320 --> 01:12:19.000
Sometimes Atlanta, Shawnee, a long distance.

1318
01:12:19.000 --> 01:12:20.200
You're killing me, girl.

1319
01:12:20.200 --> 01:12:21.640
You killing me.

1320
01:12:21.680 --> 01:12:25.960
Um, so when does he plan on seeing you in person?

1321
01:12:25.960 --> 01:12:29.680
We've talked about it since he said he's courting you.

1322
01:12:29.680 --> 01:12:35.160
That's so that's so quick, quick, quick, quick.

1323
01:12:35.160 --> 01:12:38.960
So that's a, that's a yellow flag for me.

1324
01:12:38.960 --> 01:12:40.320
That's a yellow flag.

1325
01:12:40.320 --> 01:12:44.360
And what does he, what does he plan on getting together with you in person?

1326
01:12:44.360 --> 01:12:45.360
We've talked about it a lot.

1327
01:12:45.360 --> 01:12:50.800
I would say by March with our schedules, that probably the soonest time because I'm, I'm

1328
01:12:50.960 --> 01:12:56.680
going to be traveling for work all of the rest of January and a few days and February.

1329
01:12:56.680 --> 01:12:59.320
Okay.

1330
01:12:59.320 --> 01:13:03.040
And it's part of his persona.

1331
01:13:03.040 --> 01:13:04.920
So is he willing to get rid of it?

1332
01:13:04.920 --> 01:13:09.760
If that's a deal breaker for you, because it is a deal breaker, not going to be married

1333
01:13:09.760 --> 01:13:12.080
to someone who's got on sunglasses.

1334
01:13:12.080 --> 01:13:14.400
I asked him what ratio he needed to wear those glasses.

1335
01:13:14.400 --> 01:13:16.760
And if he needed to wear them in the house.

1336
01:13:16.760 --> 01:13:20.600
And he said that when he's comfortable and knowing that I'm okay with his eye watering,

1337
01:13:21.400 --> 01:13:23.440
he doesn't wear them in the house.

1338
01:13:23.440 --> 01:13:26.800
His eyes always just watering.

1339
01:13:26.800 --> 01:13:29.560
That's what, that's what he described it.

1340
01:13:29.560 --> 01:13:30.560
How do you feel about that?

1341
01:13:30.560 --> 01:13:34.640
Cause this is someone with, if this is someone with kind of a disability, how do you feel

1342
01:13:34.640 --> 01:13:35.640
about that?

1343
01:13:35.640 --> 01:13:41.520
I'm not great, but he has so many other like really good attributes and he really is a

1344
01:13:41.520 --> 01:13:45.920
really true, but it's just, I don't know because that does seem problematic.

1345
01:13:45.920 --> 01:13:48.080
Well, you need to let them know.

1346
01:13:48.080 --> 01:13:53.440
It's like, Hey, I'm, you know, I don't know how I feel about it until you let me see it.

1347
01:13:53.440 --> 01:13:59.800
I've got to be able to see it because if it grosses me out and it doesn't, you know, if

1348
01:13:59.800 --> 01:14:03.480
all the other good things about you, I'm not able to get over that.

1349
01:14:03.480 --> 01:14:08.880
And some people wouldn't be able to, they'd be like, no, it's enough for me.

1350
01:14:08.880 --> 01:14:09.880
Okay.

1351
01:14:09.880 --> 01:14:10.880
It's like that game.

1352
01:14:10.880 --> 01:14:15.480
There are 10, but, and then you fill in the blank with whatever it is.

1353
01:14:15.480 --> 01:14:17.800
There are 10, but they don't take their sunglasses off.

1354
01:14:17.800 --> 01:14:18.800
Okay.

1355
01:14:18.800 --> 01:14:20.760
And so you have to be able to do that.

1356
01:14:20.760 --> 01:14:25.560
And I feel like, I feel like he should go ahead and get you ready for that on these

1357
01:14:25.560 --> 01:14:27.880
zoom calls.

1358
01:14:27.880 --> 01:14:30.800
I think that you need to see his face before you see him in person.

1359
01:14:30.800 --> 01:14:32.680
He needs to go ahead and just let you see who he is.

1360
01:14:32.680 --> 01:14:33.880
Does everyone agree with that?

1361
01:14:33.880 --> 01:14:37.160
Let's see in the, in the comments, he says he's courting her.

1362
01:14:37.160 --> 01:14:39.080
We need to see his eyes.

1363
01:14:39.080 --> 01:14:40.960
You guys eyes are truly the window to the soul.

1364
01:14:40.960 --> 01:14:42.180
You got to see someone's eyes.

1365
01:14:42.180 --> 01:14:44.720
You have to see them have to.

1366
01:14:45.120 --> 01:14:46.120
All right.

1367
01:14:46.120 --> 01:14:47.480
And he's in the house on zoom.

1368
01:14:47.480 --> 01:14:48.480
Okay.

1369
01:14:48.480 --> 01:14:49.480
You can turn the lights down a little bit low.

1370
01:14:49.480 --> 01:14:52.840
He can put on, you know, he can put on some glasses that are not sunglass.

1371
01:14:52.840 --> 01:14:55.160
You put on some blue blockers, but we got to see his eyes.

1372
01:14:55.160 --> 01:14:56.160
Okay.

1373
01:14:56.160 --> 01:14:57.160
Thank you.

1374
01:14:57.160 --> 01:14:58.160
Thank you.

1375
01:14:58.160 --> 01:14:59.160
Thank you.

1376
01:14:59.160 --> 01:15:00.160
Thank you.

1377
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.680
No, you're not crazy. You're not crazy. That's that's, I mean, if your friend didn't know

1378
01:15:00.160 --> 01:15:00.160


1379
01:15:05.680 --> 01:15:11.320
him, I'd already be like, no girl, this is not, we don't, we're just going to vote this

1380
01:15:11.320 --> 01:15:15.360
guy off the Island, but because your friend knows him, we'll give him the benefit of the

1381
01:15:15.360 --> 01:15:19.360
doubt because you trust her and you trust her opinion of him. Um, but we got to see

1382
01:15:19.360 --> 01:15:23.760
his eyes. And so you need to just let them know, Hey, on our next zoom call, since we're

1383
01:15:23.760 --> 01:15:29.240
courting, um, how do you feel about that? I mean, courting is level three. How do you

1384
01:15:29.240 --> 01:15:33.200
feel about someone going so quick like that? Cause you're gorgeous. I can see why a guy

1385
01:15:33.200 --> 01:15:37.300
would be like, Oh yeah, by the way, um, you belong to me. I'm courting you. I can see

1386
01:15:37.300 --> 01:15:41.320
why some of them want to do that. But how do you feel about someone doing that? So for

1387
01:15:41.320 --> 01:15:45.560
the right person, it makes sense. I'm about to turn 40 and I need it's time. Like if I

1388
01:15:45.560 --> 01:15:50.720
want to have kids and move forward. So I always assumed it would go quickly. Like, you know,

1389
01:15:50.720 --> 01:15:55.520
hopefully everything checks out, but I don't. But when you say that to him, when he says

1390
01:15:55.520 --> 01:15:58.960
that to you, I'm courting you, even though you've never, ever seen his full face or his

1391
01:15:59.680 --> 01:16:07.160
eyes, uh, doesn't that cause you some pause? Absolutely. Okay. So I think when someone,

1392
01:16:07.160 --> 01:16:12.400
and this is for everyone, if you're in conversation with someone, even if you're genuinely interested

1393
01:16:12.400 --> 01:16:20.800
and they say something about the relationship that you don't agree with, you have to push

1394
01:16:20.800 --> 01:16:27.880
back. You have to say that it's not true because your silence is agreement. It's important

1395
01:16:27.880 --> 01:16:33.160
for you to understand that. So for instance, I'm Shawnee, I'm talking to, you know, the

1396
01:16:33.160 --> 01:16:38.040
guy with the sunglasses on that my friend has vouched for, and I like him, but I've

1397
01:16:38.040 --> 01:16:45.120
never met him in person. I've never seen his eyes. And he says, I'm courting you. I Shawnee

1398
01:16:45.120 --> 01:16:50.040
say back, okay, let's slow down a little bit. We're not courting. We're getting to know

1399
01:16:50.040 --> 01:16:56.120
each other, you know, cause say it nice, but you got to say it because you're not courting

1400
01:16:56.120 --> 01:17:03.120
because courting is premarital. You're getting to know each other. And then you say, I also

1401
01:17:03.120 --> 01:17:09.640
would not feel comfortable becoming exclusive with you or boyfriend, girlfriend with you

1402
01:17:09.640 --> 01:17:15.400
until I've met you in person. And it's in, and it's in, and it's in, and it's because,

1403
01:17:15.400 --> 01:17:20.680
you know, I haven't even seen your full face yet. And so it's important to say these things

1404
01:17:20.680 --> 01:17:26.000
because I can, because I can, because I can, because I can, and I feel like, I feel like

1405
01:17:26.000 --> 01:17:32.240
it'd be very easy for men to, you know, talk at you instead of to you and say things that

1406
01:17:32.240 --> 01:17:36.720
maybe you're not in full agreement with yet. And because you're kind of nice, you might

1407
01:17:36.720 --> 01:17:44.880
allow that to happen instead of saying, hold on, that's, that's, that's, that's, let's,

1408
01:17:44.880 --> 01:17:51.520
let's allow this to unfold and old and old and old. And to where you are, you're here.

1409
01:17:51.520 --> 01:17:57.700
Okay. That's nice. But I need these things in order to get there. And it is completely

1410
01:17:57.700 --> 01:18:14.800
okay to say that. All right. So I'm skipping guys. I'm so sorry. In fact, let me do this.

1411
01:18:14.800 --> 01:18:19.640
Recording in progress.