WEBVTT

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All right, ladies, go ahead and put in the chat how long you have been in the program.

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I'm just curious to meet all of you and take a look and see.

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Are you in week one?

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Are you in week two?

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Are you in week three, four, or five?

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Let me see those weeks.

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Right, I have some brand newbies in here.

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Week one, just getting started.

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You're in that supernatural surrender.

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I have people that are meeting the real them in week five, starting to rebuild.

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Now that we've torn down, it was time to rebuild in week five.

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Perla is in week four and five.

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She's got one foot in each week in the forgiveness week and in the real her.

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Week two, understanding the heart.

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That's a real important week.

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Pay close attention in week two.

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Before week five, week four, some more new people in week one.

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You're in week three for the third week in a row.

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That's all right, Stephanie.

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That's an important week.

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That confession repentance week, we want to make sure that we are not mailing that in.

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Week three and four, you guys, vital, very important.

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If you don't feel like a lot comes up that you want to confess or you want to forgive

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in week four, then just keep revisiting it because there's stuff that's way down in there

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that needs a time to surface.

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Two, three, one, week two, around a month you've been in and you're still at the end

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of phase one.

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Oh, you're at the end of phase one.

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Okay.

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You're not in week one.

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You're around a month at the end of phase one, so you're in week five.

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Forgiveness part, really good closure.

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Yes.

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Actually finished week two.

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Perfect.

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All right.

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There's 28 of you guys live tonight.

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For those of you that are just joining us, I am Jackie Dorman.

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I am the founder of Last Year Single, and I'm going to be your coach tonight.

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Bethany has the night off.

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She has some phase three classes to teach this week, and you guys are going to be in

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phase three eventually too, and phase three is exciting.

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There's all kinds of fun stuff that happens when you get over to phase two and phase three,

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so please do not think that this is all there is, but I will tell you this, and I want to

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say this, the kind of success that you're going to have in phase two and phase three,

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it really depends on the foundation that you're going to lay here.

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Now, I know some of you have been serving Jesus for a long time, and maybe you've done

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different types of deliverance work or inner healing work.

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I've had people that have come into my program after decades of therapy.

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They were doing the work, but the consensus is across the board that if you really allow

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Holy Spirit to partner with you in this phase of our program, you will get big breakthroughs.

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People have said that they got more in these five weeks than they got in 15 years of therapy

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in all the inner healing workshops and all the books that they've read and all the seminars

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that they've gone to because it is about divine timing.

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It's about a tipping point.

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I'm so proud of the fact that God has given us the grace to help people to get big breakthroughs

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and to get them quickly.

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It's a very supernatural process that happens here, and that is why we've helped over 1,600

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people get married in the last four years.

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You guys, those are crazy numbers, and it is all due to the supernatural power of what

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we do here in phase one.

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And so please don't mail it in.

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Please don't ignore it because maybe some of the language and stuff that you've heard

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before, it's going to hit differently if you let it hit differently.

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If you take the time and you read and you pray and you invite Holy Spirit in, if you

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revisit that permission slip, that permission slip is supernatural.

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If you revisit it, you know, read it over yourself, continue to sign it, whether verbally

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or actually physically, and allow God to do what he has brought you here to do in your

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life.

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One of the things that God taught me many, many years ago, and I say it over and over

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again, is we are never stuck on the outside.

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We are only stuck on the inside.

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Guys, I've had private clients that have made me want to bang my head against the wall because

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they will show up week after week after week with the same complaint.

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I just haven't met anyone yet.

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Where are the people?

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Where's my person?

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Instead of asking the real question, and that is, why am I stuck?

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Don't tell me how you're stuck.

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Let's ask, why am I stuck?

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Of course, a lot of people will try to put it into a category of, there's no good men.

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There's no good women, because I have men clients too.

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There's no good women.

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There's no good men.

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There's no people.

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in proximity to me.

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There's no Christians where I live.

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Dating is terrible in my city.

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There's no Christians at my church.

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There's, you know, whatever it is.

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I'm too old.

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I'm too young.

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I'm too fat.

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I'm too skinny.

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I've been married too many times.

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I have too many kids.

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It doesn't matter what it is that you think

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is keeping you in a place that you don't wanna be

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and that is unpartnered.

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It isn't the thing that's keeping you there.

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It's not.

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It's nothing outside.

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It's inside.

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And so, with my private clients

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that I work one-on-one with,

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that I wanna bang my head up against the wall,

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when they come back week after week after week,

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they finally get the revelation

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that, oh, wait, I really need to surrender.

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All these things that I'm believing,

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they're actually lies.

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It's not true.

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Because, you guys, here's the danger.

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No matter what week you're in,

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here's the danger of believing

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that there is something preventing you

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from success in this area of your life,

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or any area.

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You can apply it to any area,

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not just this area.

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The danger in believing

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that something out of your control

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and on the outside of you

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is keeping you and blocking you

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from happiness and breakthrough

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in whatever area of your life,

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the danger in believing that is

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is that you're gonna stay stuck.

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Why?

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Because you believe that it's something

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that you cannot change.

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You believe that it's something

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outside of your control.

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You believe that it's something

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stronger than you,

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more powerful than you.

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Right?

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And as long as you continue to believe that,

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it continues to be true.

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It continues to be true.

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Let me tell you a quick little story.

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I've been in ministry for 28 years,

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and ministry pays zero amount of money.

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Okay?

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And so when I got divorced from my husband,

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my first husband,

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when we got divorced,

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the rescue mission that God gave me

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to get me out of a place that I was dying in,

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I was poorer than a church mouse.

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Okay?

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And I married someone,

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my current husband that I've been married to,

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this is our 18th year of marriage,

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was my next door neighbor.

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You guys know my story.

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But he was also poor as a church mouse.

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Okay?

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And we were both in ministry,

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and then to pay the bills

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and put a roof over our head,

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he sold door-to-door cable TV.

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That's how old this story is.

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Does cable TV even exist anymore?

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I don't know.

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But he sold door-to-door cable TV.

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Okay?

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Stephanie, this is heart work,

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heart check-in.

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This is phase one heart check-in.

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Are you in the right session?

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I don't know, girl.

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Is that where you're supposed to be?

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Because if it is,

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then you're in the right session.

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And I am your guest coach tonight.

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Oh, okay, okay.

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Because I was like,

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where's Bethany?

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I thought I was in the wrong class.

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Sorry.

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No, Bethany is not absent tonight.

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She has the night off,

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and I am filling in for her.

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Which is ironic,

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because it used to only be me.

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And so now I have other coaches.

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Anyway, long story short,

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in this story,

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I thought that there were a lot of things

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that I wanted to do,

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like take my daughter on a trip

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for her 16th birthday,

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that were just out of my control

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because I just didn't have the money to do it.

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Right?

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We just, you know,

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we had given our lives,

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surrendered our lives

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to the call of God in our lives.

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We were full-time in ministry,

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and, you know,

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living on a very, very, very tight budget

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because of that.

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And then God showed me one day

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that that actually wasn't true,

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that there was unlimited resources.

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And what I was doing

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is I was living according to my belief systems

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instead of asking God,

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you know, why.

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A lot of people will complain

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that they don't have enough money

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and they don't have enough time

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without ever asking why they don't have enough money

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and they don't have enough time.

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Right?

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A lot of people will complain about being single

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without ever really asking God,

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why am I single?

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So anyway, I had that conversation with God.

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He showed me where I was stuck

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and I got unstuck.

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And guess what?

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I did take my daughter on that trip

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and I've never been stuck in that area ever again.

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So as long as we believe

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that it's something that we cannot change

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and we cannot control,

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we will stay stuck.

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Or in other words,

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your problem is not your problem.

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Your problem,

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whatever you think it is,

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is not the real problem.

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And so friends,

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please do not mail in phase one.

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This is where you get to ask those questions.

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That's what heartwork is all about.

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It's not about getting answers.

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It's about asking questions.

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It's not about.

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about looking for answers is about asking the right questions, okay?

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If you ask the right questions, that is when the answers will come.

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God taught me over the course of my relationship with him how to ask him the right questions,

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okay?

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It's not a riddle to be figured out, but how to, instead of, you know, help me, help me,

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give me the answer.

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No, ask the question.

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He would say to me, Jackie, don't you think it's weird that A, B, C, D, E, F, G?

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And I'd be like, yeah, I do think that's weird, God.

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Why is that?

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Oh, I'm glad you asked.

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Here's the answer.

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And that's what your Jesus Cares Board's about.

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Please raise your hand if you've made one, if you've gotten to the week where you learned

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about your Jesus Cares Board and you've actually created one.

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So don't just put things on your Jesus Cares Board, also ask God about those things.

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Ask questions about those things.

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Don't just ask God to magically change those things, to remove those things from your life,

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to fix those things.

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Ask God why those things exist in the first place.

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This is your opportunity to not just get free, but to actually stay free.

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All right.

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So Bethany left me a list and I'll give you an opportunity, of course, to ask questions

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and stuff.

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But Bethany left me a list of just where you guys are at, the stuff that you're putting

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00:11:24.460 --> 00:11:28.540
up in your homework and in your check-ins.

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And I'm just going to take a look and see what those things are so we can talk about

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them here.

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And then I'll give you a chance to do a little bit of love seeding with me, meaning that

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you guys can ask the things that are on your heart since you have me here tonight to be

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your coach.

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All right.

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So let's see.

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She wants me to do a little housekeeping.

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So the housekeeping is stay focused.

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Remember friends, and I like to say this a lot, and I'm going to say it tonight.

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You signed up, but you got to show up, okay?

280
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You got to show up.

281
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I know that it's harder to connect in the app, but we wanted to get people off Facebook

282
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and that's why we purchased.

283
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That's why we had the app created for us.

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And let me tell you what, it was not inexpensive to have this app created.

285
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And so I know it's a little clunkier than Facebook as far as connecting, but connect,

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post in there.

287
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You know, don't just do your homework, post about your homework.

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Let other people see your process.

289
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It's private.

290
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It's just your sisters in there.

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Post about your process, post the things that you're learning.

292
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And when you see someone posting about what they're learning, show up for them.

293
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You don't have to show up for yourself, show up for them, comment, say, hey, I'm cheering

294
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you on.

295
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I'm so proud of you.

296
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What a great revelation.

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I will tell you that one of the things that has happened in last year's single that has

298
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been so amazing and I'm so proud of is that people become family here.

299
00:13:05.340 --> 00:13:08.780
And when you get to phase three, you'll meet the men in our program and you'll become family

300
00:13:08.780 --> 00:13:09.780
with them too.

301
00:13:09.780 --> 00:13:11.580
Some of them you might even marry.

302
00:13:11.580 --> 00:13:15.380
I just got word of a new relationship that's been created within the student body of a

303
00:13:15.380 --> 00:13:18.300
guy and girl that met here and now they're dating seriously.

304
00:13:18.300 --> 00:13:21.740
We just had a few weddings of people that met here.

305
00:13:21.740 --> 00:13:25.820
So it's possible that your spirit mates are already in the program.

306
00:13:25.820 --> 00:13:30.260
But becoming family with the rest of the people that are not your spirit mates is important.

307
00:13:30.260 --> 00:13:35.740
Cheering each other on, rooting for each other, clapping when each other win, that is really

308
00:13:35.740 --> 00:13:36.740
important stuff.

309
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And people become each other's maids of honor, bridesmaids, best men, sometimes housemates,

310
00:13:44.380 --> 00:13:47.540
rent houses together, do things, go on vacation together.

311
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And so this is your sister squad.

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00:13:49.780 --> 00:13:53.860
These ladies that you're in phase one with right now and the people that you'll meet

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00:13:53.860 --> 00:13:58.980
in phase two, these are the ladies that you are going to do life with.

314
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So get to know each other, pray for each other.

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If you're not able to show up during the week for prayer, we have prayer every day of the

316
00:14:06.620 --> 00:14:07.620
week if you didn't know that.

317
00:14:07.620 --> 00:14:09.180
It's in your calendar.

318
00:14:09.180 --> 00:14:13.060
If you can't come at that time because you're at work, come on Saturdays.

319
00:14:13.060 --> 00:14:15.060
Supernatural Saturday is fire.

320
00:14:15.060 --> 00:14:17.000
Sunday night activation is fire.

321
00:14:17.000 --> 00:14:21.060
Go to these things, meet people, right?

322
00:14:21.060 --> 00:14:25.460
Become friends with the people in your single cities, hang out together, do life together.

323
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It's going to be a game changer.

324
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Okay.

325
00:14:28.260 --> 00:14:32.640
You are invited to a sneak peek of our phase three community this Thursday.

326
00:14:32.640 --> 00:14:35.900
This is why Bethany's off tonight because she's going to be leading a vision boarding

327
00:14:35.900 --> 00:14:39.660
with God session.

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00:14:39.660 --> 00:14:43.500
The different things that we learned on Supernatural Saturday, if you did not listen to it, go

329
00:14:43.500 --> 00:14:44.620
back and listen.

330
00:14:44.620 --> 00:14:47.100
It is the kickoff for the year.

331
00:14:47.100 --> 00:14:49.220
Those are our words for the year.

332
00:14:49.220 --> 00:14:50.860
Supernatural is one of our words.

333
00:14:50.860 --> 00:14:51.860
Intentional is one of our words.

334
00:14:51.860 --> 00:14:54.440
Full circle is one of our words.

335
00:14:54.440 --> 00:15:00.100
Go and listen to that and whatever God speaks to you, bring those ideas to this vision board.

336
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:05.680
She posted in all the groups about the materials that you'll need to bring, the scissors, you

337
00:15:05.680 --> 00:15:10.120
know, like the crafting materials, you guys are going to make vision boards.

338
00:15:10.120 --> 00:15:15.480
You know, Habica22 told us to write the vision, make it plain so that we can run with it,

339
00:15:15.480 --> 00:15:16.480
right?

340
00:15:16.480 --> 00:15:17.480
We want to run with it.

341
00:15:17.480 --> 00:15:19.960
We don't just want to be hearers of the word, but doers.

342
00:15:19.960 --> 00:15:25.600
And then last trip single, our current vacation that's on sale right now is to Columbia, Cartagena.

343
00:15:25.600 --> 00:15:26.600
We went last year.

344
00:15:26.600 --> 00:15:27.600
It was amazing.

345
00:15:27.600 --> 00:15:31.920
The deadline for the down payment deposit is due this Friday, January 10th.

346
00:15:31.920 --> 00:15:36.960
All of this is in your resource, your resources tab in your app.

347
00:15:36.960 --> 00:15:38.360
So you can check that out.

348
00:15:38.360 --> 00:15:42.360
If you want to go, your deposit is due by the 10th, January 10th.

349
00:15:42.360 --> 00:15:43.360
Okay.

350
00:15:43.360 --> 00:15:47.040
We do have some other trips this summer that we'll be posting, some co-ed trips.

351
00:15:47.040 --> 00:15:49.400
We have a singles cruise that you can start paying on.

352
00:15:49.400 --> 00:15:51.960
It's going to happen in January of 2026.

353
00:15:51.960 --> 00:15:52.960
All kinds of fun stuff.

354
00:15:53.360 --> 00:15:57.720
Going to have a big singles conference this year and some local events in different single

355
00:15:57.720 --> 00:15:58.720
city areas.

356
00:15:58.720 --> 00:15:59.720
Okay.

357
00:15:59.720 --> 00:16:00.720
All right.

358
00:16:00.720 --> 00:16:02.000
So let's jump in.

359
00:16:02.000 --> 00:16:07.520
She wants us to go over the fact that the heart is a womb.

360
00:16:07.520 --> 00:16:11.620
You know, when God first showed me this concept, because you guys know that I'm the author

361
00:16:11.620 --> 00:16:13.400
of the heart work, right?

362
00:16:13.400 --> 00:16:17.440
When God showed me this concept, the reason why he showed it to me is because I was a

363
00:16:17.440 --> 00:16:18.440
new believer.

364
00:16:18.440 --> 00:16:23.520
I met Jesus in my twenties and I was a train wreck in a dumpster fire.

365
00:16:23.520 --> 00:16:26.440
Even though I knew Jesus, I still had so many problems.

366
00:16:26.440 --> 00:16:30.040
We do people disservice when we say, Hey, you know, Jesus, everything's better now.

367
00:16:30.040 --> 00:16:31.040
That's not true.

368
00:16:31.040 --> 00:16:32.040
Okay.

369
00:16:32.040 --> 00:16:36.480
It's by the continuing in the truth that we know that we know the truth and it makes us

370
00:16:36.480 --> 00:16:37.480
free.

371
00:16:37.480 --> 00:16:41.840
Got to continue in his word, in his, in relationship with him because he is the word.

372
00:16:41.840 --> 00:16:44.240
And that is how we get more and more and more free.

373
00:16:44.240 --> 00:16:49.120
But God had me on a fast track to freedom and he showed me all the junk that was in

374
00:16:49.120 --> 00:16:50.120
my heart.

375
00:16:50.120 --> 00:16:53.320
He showed me that this was the reason why I was not living an abundant life because

376
00:16:53.320 --> 00:16:59.760
I had a lot of bad information from the life that I had had before meeting Jesus, my childhood,

377
00:16:59.760 --> 00:17:03.520
all the abuse I had been through, all the things that I had experienced.

378
00:17:03.520 --> 00:17:06.319
And so your heart is a womb.

379
00:17:06.319 --> 00:17:07.599
It's not just your uterus.

380
00:17:07.599 --> 00:17:08.599
That's a womb.

381
00:17:08.599 --> 00:17:09.880
Your heart is a womb.

382
00:17:09.880 --> 00:17:15.280
And the things that get planted there, they grow and they bear fruit.

383
00:17:15.280 --> 00:17:20.920
The Bible says out of the quality of your heart becomes the quality of your life.

384
00:17:20.920 --> 00:17:26.839
And it tells us in Proverbs that we should guard our hearts above all things valuable

385
00:17:26.839 --> 00:17:28.800
that we own.

386
00:17:28.800 --> 00:17:38.760
But then it goes on in, I believe it is, I'm just trying to think, is it Ephesians, Galatians?

387
00:17:38.760 --> 00:17:42.920
There's a scripture in the New Testament, Proverbs is obviously Solomon, it's the book

388
00:17:42.920 --> 00:17:46.120
of wisdom, but it's Old Testament.

389
00:17:46.120 --> 00:17:49.320
One of the books of the New Testament, it's just kind of jumping out of my head right

390
00:17:49.320 --> 00:17:50.320
now.

391
00:17:50.320 --> 00:17:51.320
I'd have to look it up.

392
00:17:51.320 --> 00:17:58.080
But it says that, and he, meaning the Prince of Peace, will guard your hearts with peace

393
00:17:58.080 --> 00:17:59.920
as you stay focused on him.

394
00:17:59.920 --> 00:18:02.800
So this is Jesus that we're talking about.

395
00:18:02.800 --> 00:18:05.000
This is the Prince of Peace bringing us peace.

396
00:18:05.000 --> 00:18:07.680
And so it's talking about there's a different guard.

397
00:18:07.680 --> 00:18:13.240
There's a better guard than us guarding our hearts after the new birth experience.

398
00:18:13.240 --> 00:18:18.780
So in Proverbs it's saying, hey, you guard your heart because out of it flows the quality

399
00:18:18.780 --> 00:18:21.200
or the condition of your life.

400
00:18:21.200 --> 00:18:25.720
And then we find out in the New Testament that Jesus is willing to guard our hearts.

401
00:18:25.720 --> 00:18:29.600
And that comes into an idea that you're going to learn about here in phase one, if you already

402
00:18:29.600 --> 00:18:34.280
have it, of you being God defended.

403
00:18:35.280 --> 00:18:37.960
Ladies, this is so important.

404
00:18:37.960 --> 00:18:39.720
I coach singles every single day.

405
00:18:39.720 --> 00:18:42.520
I match make every single day.

406
00:18:42.520 --> 00:18:47.140
And one of the biggest deal breakers that happens in early relationship, please write

407
00:18:47.140 --> 00:18:51.000
this down because I know all of you are here because you want to be partnered.

408
00:18:51.000 --> 00:18:53.120
That's why you're doing this work.

409
00:18:53.120 --> 00:18:54.720
God wants to give you abundant life.

410
00:18:54.720 --> 00:18:56.440
That's why he sent you here to do this work.

411
00:18:56.440 --> 00:19:01.960
Yeah, he wants you to have a partner, but he also wants you to live free.

412
00:19:01.960 --> 00:19:04.040
And so it's about more than just the partner.

413
00:19:04.040 --> 00:19:05.040
Okay.

414
00:19:05.040 --> 00:19:08.140
But because all of you are here because you want partners, let me tell you one of the

415
00:19:08.140 --> 00:19:13.760
biggest obstacles to being able to get into marriage minded relationship.

416
00:19:13.760 --> 00:19:16.000
And that is you being defensive.

417
00:19:16.000 --> 00:19:18.540
That is you being closed off.

418
00:19:18.540 --> 00:19:21.160
That is you being suspicious.

419
00:19:21.160 --> 00:19:24.720
That is you guarding yourself or protecting yourself.

420
00:19:24.720 --> 00:19:30.240
That is you building walls.

421
00:19:30.240 --> 00:19:35.080
You have to learn in phase one right now and continue to walk this out in phase two

422
00:19:35.080 --> 00:19:41.160
and phase three, how to let yourself be God defended.

423
00:19:41.160 --> 00:19:51.520
How to let yourself take down the walls to let love in and not worry about what someone

424
00:19:51.520 --> 00:19:54.800
else's motives are, what their intentions are.

425
00:19:54.800 --> 00:19:57.480
That's not, that's none of your business and it's not your problem.

426
00:19:57.480 --> 00:19:58.320
It's their problem.

427
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:07.960
If you trust the Lord, He will show you what you need to see when and if you need to see

428
00:20:07.960 --> 00:20:10.960
it.

429
00:20:10.960 --> 00:20:11.960
Why do I say that?

430
00:20:11.960 --> 00:20:18.000
Because I'm married to an amazing man, and I've been married to him for 18 years, and

431
00:20:18.000 --> 00:20:22.320
we've raised three children together, two of which I did not give birth to, that were

432
00:20:22.320 --> 00:20:26.460
nine and 11 years old when I met him, and my daughter was six.

433
00:20:26.460 --> 00:20:30.220
And I'm going to tell you right now, if I would have known the stuff that I found out

434
00:20:30.220 --> 00:20:34.860
in the first two years of marriage about Blended Family and about his former wife, I would

435
00:20:34.860 --> 00:20:38.380
have cut and run a month into dating him.

436
00:20:38.380 --> 00:20:42.420
I would not have married him.

437
00:20:42.420 --> 00:20:43.420
But you know what?

438
00:20:43.420 --> 00:20:44.540
God didn't let me see it.

439
00:20:44.540 --> 00:20:46.140
You want to know why He didn't let me see it?

440
00:20:46.140 --> 00:20:53.700
Because He knew that partnered with Him in humility and in trust, He could stretch me

441
00:20:53.700 --> 00:20:58.900
into the person that could handle it.

442
00:20:58.900 --> 00:21:06.940
I wasn't the person that could handle it when I was dating my husband, but God formed me

443
00:21:06.940 --> 00:21:13.820
into the person who could handle it with grace after we got married, when I was faced with

444
00:21:13.820 --> 00:21:19.340
the challenges, when I didn't let my praying knees get lazy, when I continued to press

445
00:21:19.340 --> 00:21:21.340
in for help and for grace.

446
00:21:21.460 --> 00:21:26.060
I know all of you are hoping for easy street, but that is not what marriage looks like.

447
00:21:26.060 --> 00:21:27.220
Marriage is hard.

448
00:21:27.220 --> 00:21:31.180
Write that in your journal.

449
00:21:31.180 --> 00:21:33.220
It doesn't matter who you're married to.

450
00:21:33.220 --> 00:21:36.500
I know that some of you have come out of the wrong type of hard marriages.

451
00:21:36.500 --> 00:21:38.580
You came out of abusive marriages.

452
00:21:38.580 --> 00:21:42.780
Marriage is not abusive, but it is hard.

453
00:21:42.780 --> 00:21:46.740
Okay.

454
00:21:47.060 --> 00:21:53.820
What you're doing right now in phase one, this is what is going to create an environment

455
00:21:53.820 --> 00:21:59.260
where you trust God to show you what you need to see instead of you showing up at his house

456
00:21:59.260 --> 00:22:05.820
in the middle of the night going through his garbage, trying to find out who he is, stalking

457
00:22:05.820 --> 00:22:10.140
him on social media, trying to find out what accounts he's following, trying to make sure

458
00:22:10.340 --> 00:22:22.020
that you dodge any bullets instead of letting God be your shield and your rear guard.

459
00:22:22.020 --> 00:22:25.100
Everyone has yellow flags, and I'm just going to tell you right now, if you see a yellow

460
00:22:25.100 --> 00:22:30.740
flag in a potential suitor out of timing, meaning you're not ready to see it, but you

461
00:22:30.740 --> 00:22:36.460
went ahead and you dug around and you found out, okay, you're going to escalate it to

462
00:22:36.460 --> 00:22:42.660
red because you don't have the grace for it yet, but it doesn't mean that God wasn't

463
00:22:42.660 --> 00:22:44.020
going to give you the grace.

464
00:22:44.020 --> 00:22:50.700
And now something that could have worked out, you are going to shut the door on.

465
00:22:50.700 --> 00:22:54.820
I'm going to tell you something else that's going to hurt all your feelings, but it's

466
00:22:54.820 --> 00:22:55.820
necessary.

467
00:22:55.820 --> 00:22:59.020
You've already done it.

468
00:22:59.020 --> 00:23:01.140
You've already done it.

469
00:23:01.140 --> 00:23:06.220
You missed out on someone great because you already did it.

470
00:23:06.980 --> 00:23:09.900
You saw things that bothered you.

471
00:23:09.900 --> 00:23:13.140
You didn't have enough context for those things.

472
00:23:13.140 --> 00:23:14.860
You got paranoid.

473
00:23:14.860 --> 00:23:16.140
You got avoidant.

474
00:23:16.140 --> 00:23:18.740
You got anxious.

475
00:23:18.740 --> 00:23:23.620
The good news is that there's no such thing as the one, so you did not miss your spirit

476
00:23:23.620 --> 00:23:26.860
mate.

477
00:23:26.860 --> 00:23:29.900
She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes.

478
00:23:29.900 --> 00:23:33.380
There's going to be another chance, you guys.

479
00:23:33.460 --> 00:23:37.780
For some of you, it actually might be with the same person that you didn't give a shot

480
00:23:37.780 --> 00:23:42.660
to because 2025 is a full circle year.

481
00:23:42.660 --> 00:23:49.420
For some people, that means somebody that you dismissed before even giving it a shot

482
00:23:49.420 --> 00:23:52.020
may actually show back up.

483
00:23:52.020 --> 00:23:56.820
I've had that happen several times now, you guys, even the last couple of weeks.

484
00:23:56.820 --> 00:23:58.820
Very interesting.

485
00:23:59.580 --> 00:24:01.580
All right.

486
00:24:01.580 --> 00:24:06.420
So here's the concepts that I want to unpack because I want us to be ready.

487
00:24:06.420 --> 00:24:11.180
I want to unpack the concepts of that supernatural surrender.

488
00:24:11.180 --> 00:24:15.860
Even if you're in week two, three, four, or five, that does not end week one.

489
00:24:15.860 --> 00:24:19.780
Week one is something that you have to continue to take through all of this.

490
00:24:19.780 --> 00:24:23.500
You have to continue to revisit it.

491
00:24:23.500 --> 00:24:30.100
You do because God knows you better than you know yourself.

492
00:24:30.100 --> 00:24:33.420
Not just this present version of you, but the future version of you.

493
00:24:33.420 --> 00:24:35.820
Let me tell you something.

494
00:24:35.820 --> 00:24:39.700
That chick that my husband used to be married to that I definitely would have rejected him

495
00:24:39.700 --> 00:24:43.900
over because she was crazy, okay?

496
00:24:43.900 --> 00:24:49.660
But I didn't know, so I married him.

497
00:24:49.700 --> 00:24:51.700
I'm good friends with her now.

498
00:24:51.700 --> 00:24:55.700
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

499
00:24:55.700 --> 00:24:58.700
Okay?

500
00:24:58.700 --> 00:24:59.700
The daughter that came out...

501
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.480
at her body that I raised since she was nine years old is now

502
00:25:04.480 --> 00:25:06.760
married with twin grandbabies.

503
00:25:07.160 --> 00:25:11.800
And when my daughter, her daughter was giving birth, we were both in the labor

504
00:25:11.800 --> 00:25:13.960
room because she wanted both of us there.

505
00:25:17.200 --> 00:25:19.440
And I texted her, her name's Shannon.

506
00:25:19.440 --> 00:25:24.400
I texted her and I said, Hey, Shan, um, I understand if, you know, you just want

507
00:25:24.400 --> 00:25:27.400
this to be a special moment with you and Kay, that's cool.

508
00:25:27.440 --> 00:25:28.840
I was like, I'm not offended.

509
00:25:28.840 --> 00:25:31.120
I can wait until the babies are born to see them.

510
00:25:31.520 --> 00:25:34.120
And she's like, this is not a special moment between me and my daughter.

511
00:25:34.120 --> 00:25:39.400
This is a special moment between us and our daughter meeting me and her.

512
00:25:41.320 --> 00:25:41.800
Uh-huh.

513
00:25:41.840 --> 00:25:42.320
Uh-huh.

514
00:25:42.360 --> 00:25:42.880
Yeah.

515
00:25:42.920 --> 00:25:50.360
You guys, that's how it can be when this was the same woman, two months, three

516
00:25:50.360 --> 00:25:54.200
months, five months, seven months, a year and a half into my marriage to her

517
00:25:54.200 --> 00:25:59.120
former husband, that literally was trying to remove the children from my

518
00:25:59.120 --> 00:26:03.880
home because she said that I was abusive because she didn't like me.

519
00:26:07.320 --> 00:26:07.720
Okay.

520
00:26:13.520 --> 00:26:14.720
I had to pray through some stuff.

521
00:26:14.760 --> 00:26:17.960
And a lot of you are going to end up in blended families because of your age.

522
00:26:19.240 --> 00:26:19.600
Okay.

523
00:26:19.600 --> 00:26:23.600
You're old enough that the men in the categories that you'll be dating

524
00:26:23.600 --> 00:26:25.480
might have children with another woman.

525
00:26:26.720 --> 00:26:27.760
She may have passed away.

526
00:26:27.760 --> 00:26:29.040
She may still be alive.

527
00:26:31.920 --> 00:26:33.480
But a lot of you are going to experience that.

528
00:26:33.480 --> 00:26:36.000
And some of you, raise your hand if you're a single mom, you know, there's

529
00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:37.720
already kids in the mix because they're yours.

530
00:26:38.480 --> 00:26:40.880
Raise your avatar hand, little yellow hand.

531
00:26:41.160 --> 00:26:41.760
I can see it.

532
00:26:42.560 --> 00:26:49.360
I see some of our, our heartwork coaches in training that are on here tonight.

533
00:26:49.360 --> 00:26:50.360
So welcome ladies.

534
00:26:50.360 --> 00:26:54.440
I see some ladies that are moving towards being certified in heartwork

535
00:26:54.480 --> 00:26:58.520
modalities, and that's another thing you can look forward to, you know, you might

536
00:26:58.520 --> 00:27:01.920
be here, you're here for your love story, but you might be here actually to be

537
00:27:01.920 --> 00:27:06.000
birthed into a ministry where you end up working with us and for us, helping

538
00:27:06.000 --> 00:27:09.320
other women get free, you know, you're here for your love story, but you might

539
00:27:09.320 --> 00:27:13.520
and for us helping other women get free and get married and men

540
00:27:13.520 --> 00:27:14.680
and all the different things.

541
00:27:14.880 --> 00:27:15.200
Okay.

542
00:27:15.640 --> 00:27:16.120
All right, guys.

543
00:27:16.120 --> 00:27:17.760
So these are our concepts for tonight.

544
00:27:17.760 --> 00:27:18.560
So let's go.

545
00:27:18.840 --> 00:27:20.600
Who's got questions about heartwork?

546
00:27:21.000 --> 00:27:23.360
Who wants to talk about supernatural surrender?

547
00:27:23.960 --> 00:27:28.000
Who is willing to lay down their non-negotiables that are not from heaven?

548
00:27:28.520 --> 00:27:31.760
I see some of my friends from Reading in here.

549
00:27:31.880 --> 00:27:33.240
I see some of you all.

550
00:27:34.160 --> 00:27:35.480
Yes, I see you girl.

551
00:27:35.960 --> 00:27:37.160
It's good to see you guys.

552
00:27:37.480 --> 00:27:40.040
Finally doing the program.

553
00:27:40.560 --> 00:27:44.440
It's going to be a game changer for you guys.

554
00:27:44.440 --> 00:27:48.840
We helped, so we, there's hundreds of people that got married or engaged last

555
00:27:48.840 --> 00:27:51.720
year in this program, just last year in 24.

556
00:27:52.920 --> 00:27:58.640
And I feel like 20 and I have not felt like this.

557
00:27:58.640 --> 00:28:00.440
I felt like we were going to have success every year.

558
00:28:00.440 --> 00:28:03.640
And we've helped, you know, over 1600 people get married in four years.

559
00:28:04.120 --> 00:28:10.440
But I feel like this year we're going to have exponential success stories.

560
00:28:11.320 --> 00:28:14.040
Like I just, there's something different about this year.

561
00:28:14.640 --> 00:28:15.560
There really is.

562
00:28:16.000 --> 00:28:23.200
And so we've got to lay the foundation right, right now in this phase.

563
00:28:24.040 --> 00:28:27.960
So please press in, let God show you what you need to know about yourself.

564
00:28:28.200 --> 00:28:29.120
It's very important.

565
00:28:29.440 --> 00:28:29.720
All right.

566
00:28:29.720 --> 00:28:30.800
Who's got questions?

567
00:28:34.640 --> 00:28:38.040
How do I know if it's the Lord bringing the same, the same guy around,

568
00:28:38.040 --> 00:28:39.160
or if it's just distraction?

569
00:28:39.480 --> 00:28:40.680
It's a really good question.

570
00:28:41.400 --> 00:28:41.920
Okay.

571
00:28:42.240 --> 00:28:45.320
And the first thing that you have to ask yourself, first of all, all of

572
00:28:45.320 --> 00:28:46.680
you are in a dating sabbatical.

573
00:28:47.680 --> 00:28:52.280
So until you're, until you're done with this phase of the program, you're

574
00:28:52.280 --> 00:28:53.680
going to have to put that on pause.

575
00:28:53.920 --> 00:28:57.680
So if they circle back around and they are for you, you're not going to miss

576
00:28:57.680 --> 00:29:01.720
out on them by really focusing on your heart work and your love life.

577
00:29:02.200 --> 00:29:04.920
And so what you say to them is, Hey, I'm in a program right now.

578
00:29:05.160 --> 00:29:09.240
The first phase is a dating sabbatical and I'll be done with it in four weeks,

579
00:29:09.240 --> 00:29:11.400
three weeks, however long you have left.

580
00:29:11.800 --> 00:29:14.840
And I'd love to revisit this conversation with you when I'm done.

581
00:29:15.600 --> 00:29:19.200
If when you're done, they're no longer around, okay, they're gonzo,

582
00:29:19.240 --> 00:29:21.160
then that was never a thing.

583
00:29:22.040 --> 00:29:26.200
Can't miss out on them by being obedient to focusing on what God has you here to do.

584
00:29:27.400 --> 00:29:27.920
All right.

585
00:29:27.920 --> 00:29:32.080
When you're done with this phase, how do you know if someone who's circling

586
00:29:32.080 --> 00:29:37.040
back in your life is, if it's a quality connection or if it's a distraction?

587
00:29:37.840 --> 00:29:42.360
Here's how, you know, if you dated them before you actually dated them, why

588
00:29:42.440 --> 00:29:43.880
are you not dating them still?

589
00:29:44.200 --> 00:29:49.000
Is it because there was truly something unhealthy about the relationship?

590
00:29:49.760 --> 00:29:51.720
Did you find out that they were an addict?

591
00:29:51.800 --> 00:29:55.680
Like, you know, present tense, like they're, they're a drug addict.

592
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:01.880
burn or something like that?

593
00:30:01.880 --> 00:30:04.940
Were they verbally abusive to you?

594
00:30:04.940 --> 00:30:12.060
Did they do something that's genuinely a red flag that caused you to cut them loose?

595
00:30:12.060 --> 00:30:15.260
Or did you just not feel chemistry?

596
00:30:15.260 --> 00:30:16.260
They were nice.

597
00:30:16.260 --> 00:30:19.540
They seemed like a great guy, but you just really couldn't get there with them or you

598
00:30:19.540 --> 00:30:23.140
didn't give them a chance to help you get there.

599
00:30:23.140 --> 00:30:25.940
Was it bad timing for both of you?

600
00:30:25.940 --> 00:30:28.260
That's what you have to assess.

601
00:30:28.260 --> 00:30:36.700
If it was genuinely something that was a real, true deal breaker, then don't revisit it.

602
00:30:36.700 --> 00:30:37.700
You're not desperate.

603
00:30:37.700 --> 00:30:41.780
You're not going to go back into something that you know was not unhealthy from the beginning.

604
00:30:41.780 --> 00:30:46.300
But if it was anything else and you just didn't really fully give it a chance because you're

605
00:30:46.300 --> 00:30:51.100
being honest with yourself, then let's see what's up.

606
00:30:51.100 --> 00:30:56.780
Tina, what's your question?

607
00:30:57.780 --> 00:31:00.780
Hi there.

608
00:31:00.780 --> 00:31:01.780
I was just typing it out.

609
00:31:01.780 --> 00:31:02.780
That's great.

610
00:31:02.780 --> 00:31:09.780
So I'm just kind of finishing up week two here and working through confession and repentance.

611
00:31:09.780 --> 00:31:16.940
And one of the things that came up for me is that there's some things that I've resented

612
00:31:16.940 --> 00:31:22.060
my mom for that I need to apologize to her for.

613
00:31:22.900 --> 00:31:30.380
So I've been praying about how to do that apology without dragging up the past, plus

614
00:31:30.380 --> 00:31:38.420
it's something that she does still currently once in a while, and she tries to manipulate

615
00:31:38.420 --> 00:31:45.380
my life decisions to get what she wants.

616
00:31:45.380 --> 00:31:52.860
So I do need to be released from this resentment that I felt I've forgiven her from the past,

617
00:31:52.860 --> 00:32:01.140
but I still have my guard up because it's still something that she is not really aware

618
00:32:01.140 --> 00:32:05.180
of and will still do once in a while.

619
00:32:05.180 --> 00:32:11.300
And I don't want to hurt her when I'm apologizing to her.

620
00:32:11.300 --> 00:32:14.220
So that's something I'm working through.

621
00:32:14.220 --> 00:32:17.060
I don't think an apology is necessary.

622
00:32:17.060 --> 00:32:21.300
I think that, and a lot of you may have certain circumstances like this.

623
00:32:21.300 --> 00:32:25.100
I definitely had this kind of circumstance when my mom was alive.

624
00:32:25.100 --> 00:32:29.420
And so right now she's not self-aware enough.

625
00:32:29.420 --> 00:32:36.220
So if you apologize to her for resenting her for doing something that she is not mature

626
00:32:36.220 --> 00:32:43.500
enough to understand that she does, it's going to cause her to get defensive.

627
00:32:43.540 --> 00:32:48.780
So it's kind of a passive-aggressive apology because you know that while apologizing for

628
00:32:48.780 --> 00:32:56.100
it, you're also going to, what's the word, expose her.

629
00:32:56.100 --> 00:33:00.940
And so she's not ready to be exposed.

630
00:33:00.940 --> 00:33:03.260
And I can see your age group that you're in.

631
00:33:03.260 --> 00:33:04.260
So your mom's older.

632
00:33:04.260 --> 00:33:07.020
She's an older person.

633
00:33:07.020 --> 00:33:12.260
And we hope that she's going to get some kind of self-awareness during her life on earth,

634
00:33:12.380 --> 00:33:13.820
but she may not.

635
00:33:13.820 --> 00:33:17.100
And so what you have to do is you forgive her.

636
00:33:17.100 --> 00:33:21.780
You come to the Lord and say, look, I know my mom doesn't know any better.

637
00:33:21.780 --> 00:33:24.340
She's not maliciously doing this to me.

638
00:33:24.340 --> 00:33:26.580
She's trying to control me out of fear.

639
00:33:26.580 --> 00:33:29.220
She's trying to control my life decisions because she doesn't want to lose me.

640
00:33:29.220 --> 00:33:34.460
She's afraid I'm the only person that she has or whatever that reason why that Holy

641
00:33:34.460 --> 00:33:37.420
Spirit showed you that your mom does what she does.

642
00:33:37.420 --> 00:33:38.420
And I forgive her.

643
00:33:38.420 --> 00:33:39.660
I release her from these debts, God.

644
00:33:39.660 --> 00:33:40.660
And I ask that you would deliver.

645
00:33:40.660 --> 00:33:45.860
I ask that you would show her that you would give opportunity for her to see that she does

646
00:33:45.860 --> 00:33:49.180
not need to be afraid, that she does not need to operate in control.

647
00:33:49.180 --> 00:33:50.900
And you just pray for her.

648
00:33:50.900 --> 00:33:59.260
And then you don't allow her to do it by gently, but firmly applying boundaries.

649
00:33:59.260 --> 00:34:00.260
Yeah.

650
00:34:00.260 --> 00:34:01.260
Okay.

651
00:34:01.260 --> 00:34:02.260
Great.

652
00:34:02.260 --> 00:34:03.260
Thank you.

653
00:34:03.260 --> 00:34:10.380
Hey, you guys, not everything needs a verbal, a verbal apology, especially this kind of

654
00:34:10.380 --> 00:34:11.380
thing.

655
00:34:11.380 --> 00:34:12.380
All this is going to cause us more problems.

656
00:34:12.380 --> 00:34:18.900
It's just going to cause things to get worse.

657
00:34:18.900 --> 00:34:22.300
Tina's forgiveness is for Tina.

658
00:34:22.300 --> 00:34:28.460
Her mom doesn't, her mom does not realize she needs forgiveness from Tina.

659
00:34:28.460 --> 00:34:31.960
She probably thinks she's a great mother who's just helping you make the right decisions

660
00:34:31.960 --> 00:34:34.260
in your life.

661
00:34:34.260 --> 00:34:35.260
Praise the Lord.

662
00:34:35.260 --> 00:34:38.260
All right.

663
00:34:38.260 --> 00:34:40.500
In phase two, you're going to have a whole boundaries session.

664
00:34:40.500 --> 00:34:42.500
It's going to be great.

665
00:34:42.500 --> 00:34:46.699
Guys, in phase two, you're looking forward to dating 101.

666
00:34:46.699 --> 00:34:48.500
How do we date as Christians effectively?

667
00:34:48.500 --> 00:34:50.300
What does that look like?

668
00:34:50.300 --> 00:34:54.900
Especially with, you know, having the conversations about sex before marriage and all the different

669
00:34:54.900 --> 00:34:59.260
things that, you know, we deal with in dating.

670
00:34:59.260 --> 00:35:00.140
You're going to have divine.

671
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.760
and feminine.

672
00:35:01.760 --> 00:35:03.600
You're gonna have boundaries.

673
00:35:03.600 --> 00:35:05.720
You're gonna have attachment style.

674
00:35:07.880 --> 00:35:10.360
Bunch of fun things in phase two.

675
00:35:10.360 --> 00:35:11.520
All right, someone else had their hand up

676
00:35:11.520 --> 00:35:12.620
and then they put their hand down.

677
00:35:12.620 --> 00:35:13.460
Where are you?

678
00:35:15.160 --> 00:35:16.160
Stephanie, go ahead.

679
00:35:19.520 --> 00:35:20.360
Yes, okay.

680
00:35:22.160 --> 00:35:23.620
Is it just about anything?

681
00:35:24.640 --> 00:35:26.040
Anything heartwork related?

682
00:35:26.040 --> 00:35:28.620
I mean, you guys are on a dating sabbatical, so.

683
00:35:28.620 --> 00:35:29.800
Yep, oh, absolutely.

684
00:35:29.800 --> 00:35:33.060
So I guess with my heart,

685
00:35:33.060 --> 00:35:38.060
what's really been coming up is just dwelling in,

686
00:35:40.420 --> 00:35:43.340
thinking about God, how God is good to me

687
00:35:43.340 --> 00:35:45.140
in like all different areas of my life

688
00:35:45.140 --> 00:35:47.940
because he showed me that I actually don't believe that.

689
00:35:48.980 --> 00:35:53.980
And so I have kind of realized like,

690
00:35:54.820 --> 00:35:55.900
I don't think after,

691
00:35:55.900 --> 00:35:57.660
I have kind of a similar story to you

692
00:35:57.680 --> 00:35:59.960
as far as not quite as extreme,

693
00:35:59.960 --> 00:36:02.280
but definitely not as extreme,

694
00:36:02.280 --> 00:36:05.600
but same deal with like,

695
00:36:05.600 --> 00:36:09.880
after I had my radical encounter with the Lord,

696
00:36:09.880 --> 00:36:14.480
like, I don't think I ever learned how to abide in him.

697
00:36:14.480 --> 00:36:16.920
And so I'm just wondering like,

698
00:36:17.840 --> 00:36:20.640
I'm learning to do it, I think,

699
00:36:20.640 --> 00:36:23.280
but if you could say anything about that,

700
00:36:23.280 --> 00:36:24.780
I think that would be helpful.

701
00:36:25.780 --> 00:36:27.660
About not trusting God?

702
00:36:29.020 --> 00:36:34.020
Yeah, sure, or just being abiding successfully in him.

703
00:36:36.760 --> 00:36:37.600
Right.

704
00:36:37.600 --> 00:36:39.040
And it might just be a time thing

705
00:36:39.040 --> 00:36:41.880
because I tend to be like, really like, I want it now.

706
00:36:41.880 --> 00:36:44.680
And he showed me like, I'm really impatient.

707
00:36:44.680 --> 00:36:46.600
And then if I don't, if it's not now,

708
00:36:46.600 --> 00:36:50.200
then I kind of give up or like kind of lose hope, you know?

709
00:36:50.200 --> 00:36:54.080
Yeah, and you guys, I don't know if it's in phase one or not.

710
00:36:54.100 --> 00:36:56.180
I don't know if any of the HeartWork coaches

711
00:36:56.180 --> 00:36:57.660
know this information,

712
00:36:57.660 --> 00:37:01.140
but I teach a supernatural hope session.

713
00:37:01.140 --> 00:37:02.820
And I don't know if that, is that in?

714
00:37:02.820 --> 00:37:03.980
Yeah, that was amazing, actually.

715
00:37:03.980 --> 00:37:06.500
That actually did impart a lot of hope to me

716
00:37:06.500 --> 00:37:07.980
when I listened to it,

717
00:37:07.980 --> 00:37:10.100
but that was like probably four weeks ago

718
00:37:10.100 --> 00:37:10.940
that I listened to it.

719
00:37:10.940 --> 00:37:12.900
So maybe I need to listen to it again.

720
00:37:12.900 --> 00:37:14.860
Yeah, because really, here's the thing.

721
00:37:14.860 --> 00:37:18.980
The thing is, is that the reason why we get upset at God

722
00:37:18.980 --> 00:37:23.820
is because we don't understand that his ways are perfect.

723
00:37:24.600 --> 00:37:26.440
His ways, but because,

724
00:37:26.440 --> 00:37:27.720
the reason why we don't understand that

725
00:37:27.720 --> 00:37:29.560
is because his ways are different

726
00:37:29.560 --> 00:37:32.400
than our human earthly ways.

727
00:37:33.360 --> 00:37:35.720
And so, of course, we get very agitated

728
00:37:35.720 --> 00:37:37.200
when he doesn't do things the way

729
00:37:37.200 --> 00:37:39.080
that we would want him to do those things

730
00:37:39.080 --> 00:37:41.360
or the way that we think those things should be done.

731
00:37:41.360 --> 00:37:46.360
But the truth is, is that his ways are better.

732
00:37:46.720 --> 00:37:49.320
They're better, they're just maybe not immediately better,

733
00:37:49.320 --> 00:37:51.080
like you said, because you want things right now.

734
00:37:51.100 --> 00:37:52.540
But here's the thing that I want you to do

735
00:37:52.540 --> 00:37:54.060
to shift your focus,

736
00:37:54.060 --> 00:37:56.980
and everyone needs to listen to this.

737
00:37:56.980 --> 00:37:59.480
If the thing that you're wanting so badly

738
00:37:59.480 --> 00:38:02.580
is not happening right now in this moment,

739
00:38:02.580 --> 00:38:04.500
and you know you've done your heart work,

740
00:38:04.500 --> 00:38:06.260
you're not stuck on the inside,

741
00:38:06.260 --> 00:38:09.940
you're not sabotaging yourself to receive it,

742
00:38:09.940 --> 00:38:13.740
then ask God what is ripe and ready.

743
00:38:15.060 --> 00:38:17.840
There's always something ripe in your life, you guys.

744
00:38:17.840 --> 00:38:22.840
There's always something exciting and fun and wonderful

745
00:38:23.260 --> 00:38:26.060
that is, not that you're just ready for it,

746
00:38:26.060 --> 00:38:29.940
but it's also ready for you, okay?

747
00:38:29.940 --> 00:38:33.100
And so what happens oftentimes to all of us, okay?

748
00:38:33.100 --> 00:38:34.460
Even me, because you know,

749
00:38:34.460 --> 00:38:36.980
marriage is not the magic bullet of happiness, you guys.

750
00:38:36.980 --> 00:38:38.060
After you're married,

751
00:38:38.060 --> 00:38:40.540
you're going to actually have other things

752
00:38:40.540 --> 00:38:43.900
that you want to have happen that haven't happened yet.

753
00:38:43.900 --> 00:38:45.220
Okay, whether it's having a baby

754
00:38:45.280 --> 00:38:48.440
or whether it's getting the promotion at work

755
00:38:48.440 --> 00:38:52.080
or whether it's a healing, it doesn't matter what it is.

756
00:38:52.080 --> 00:38:54.920
And so instead of looking at that thing,

757
00:38:54.920 --> 00:38:57.320
kind of like a washed pot never boils,

758
00:38:57.320 --> 00:38:59.480
instead of just staring at that thing,

759
00:39:00.360 --> 00:39:03.080
now I put the pot on the stove,

760
00:39:03.080 --> 00:39:05.040
I know that I've put the water in the pot,

761
00:39:05.040 --> 00:39:07.000
and I know that I've turned on the heat,

762
00:39:07.000 --> 00:39:10.680
and that's all that I can do, that's it.

763
00:39:10.680 --> 00:39:14.320
And you guys will get to that point in this program

764
00:39:14.340 --> 00:39:16.340
where you really have unpacked the heart,

765
00:39:16.340 --> 00:39:17.940
you've let God have control,

766
00:39:17.940 --> 00:39:20.700
you've done all the things that you can do,

767
00:39:20.700 --> 00:39:21.900
and then it's time for you,

768
00:39:21.900 --> 00:39:23.540
instead of sitting there staring at the pot

769
00:39:23.540 --> 00:39:24.900
waiting for it to boil,

770
00:39:24.900 --> 00:39:27.700
it's time for you to look at the other things around

771
00:39:27.700 --> 00:39:29.100
that are ready to eat.

772
00:39:30.780 --> 00:39:34.060
There's always something that's ready for you now.

773
00:39:34.060 --> 00:39:35.460
And when you do that,

774
00:39:35.460 --> 00:39:37.580
then you're not worried about when the pot's going to boil,

775
00:39:37.580 --> 00:39:39.460
you know the pot's going to boil,

776
00:39:39.460 --> 00:39:40.780
you know it's going to boil.

777
00:39:40.780 --> 00:39:43.660
And so this is how we get really hopeless

778
00:39:44.000 --> 00:39:47.200
because we're looking at the thing that's not ripe yet.

779
00:39:47.200 --> 00:39:49.280
It's just as insane, you guys,

780
00:39:49.280 --> 00:39:51.760
as knowing that we're pregnant

781
00:39:51.760 --> 00:39:55.320
and sitting in the doctor's waiting room,

782
00:39:55.320 --> 00:39:56.760
waiting to deliver,

783
00:39:56.760 --> 00:40:00.160
instead of going off and enjoying.

784
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.920
our gestation and doing other things that are just as important to the final product.

785
00:40:05.920 --> 00:40:06.920
Okay.

786
00:40:06.920 --> 00:40:13.360
Like some of you, I'm going to tell you right now, because I met with a trainer today, you

787
00:40:13.360 --> 00:40:15.120
need to get fit.

788
00:40:15.120 --> 00:40:18.960
You're going to be naked with a man someday, not too far from now.

789
00:40:18.960 --> 00:40:19.960
And guess what?

790
00:40:19.960 --> 00:40:22.840
You're not going to feel good about that.

791
00:40:22.840 --> 00:40:25.760
Men don't care about stretch marks, you guys, I'm just going to tell you right now.

792
00:40:25.760 --> 00:40:29.200
All a man cares about is, oh, there's a naked lady in front of me.

793
00:40:29.200 --> 00:40:31.440
That's all they care about.

794
00:40:31.440 --> 00:40:35.600
You're the one that's not going to like yourself, not him.

795
00:40:35.600 --> 00:40:38.840
I'm not telling you to go get in shape for him.

796
00:40:38.840 --> 00:40:41.560
I'm telling you to go get in shape for you.

797
00:40:41.560 --> 00:40:42.560
Okay?

798
00:40:42.560 --> 00:40:43.560
Yeah.

799
00:40:43.560 --> 00:40:49.040
Because you're the one that is going to feel repressed in your sexuality.

800
00:40:49.040 --> 00:40:51.040
You're the one that's going to want the lights out.

801
00:40:51.040 --> 00:40:53.120
You're the one that's going to want the covers on.

802
00:40:53.120 --> 00:40:58.040
You're the one that's going to not like what you see in the mirror, because gravity is

803
00:40:58.040 --> 00:40:59.040
real.

804
00:40:59.880 --> 00:41:03.000
You're the one that is going to feel that way about all those things.

805
00:41:03.000 --> 00:41:06.800
You're the one that is going to, two years into your marriage, be struggling with high

806
00:41:06.800 --> 00:41:10.000
blood pressure and prediabetes and insulin resistance.

807
00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:12.800
You guys get it under control.

808
00:41:12.800 --> 00:41:13.800
Okay?

809
00:41:13.800 --> 00:41:20.940
Instead of watching that pot to boil, this is your invitation into abundant life.

810
00:41:20.940 --> 00:41:23.600
This program is not just about being partnered.

811
00:41:23.600 --> 00:41:29.480
It's about being partnered and being powerful and being kingdom people in every area of

812
00:41:29.480 --> 00:41:30.480
our lives.

813
00:41:30.480 --> 00:41:32.320
Some of you are really deeply in debt.

814
00:41:32.320 --> 00:41:34.560
You got to get that under control.

815
00:41:34.560 --> 00:41:38.680
You got to stop medicating with retail therapy.

816
00:41:38.680 --> 00:41:40.040
You got to make a budget.

817
00:41:40.040 --> 00:41:41.600
This is your year.

818
00:41:41.600 --> 00:41:42.600
Pay off the debt.

819
00:41:42.600 --> 00:41:44.320
Live within your means.

820
00:41:44.320 --> 00:41:51.580
You don't want to get into marriage bringing that kind of chaos to the marriage.

821
00:41:51.580 --> 00:41:53.040
You don't want that.

822
00:41:53.480 --> 00:41:57.000
There's all kinds of other things that God wants to give you breakthrough in besides

823
00:41:57.000 --> 00:41:58.000
just where he at.

824
00:41:58.000 --> 00:41:59.000
Where's he at?

825
00:41:59.000 --> 00:42:00.000
Where's he at?

826
00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:01.000
Okay?

827
00:42:01.000 --> 00:42:02.000
That is a done deal.

828
00:42:02.000 --> 00:42:07.520
There's a love story for you, but God does want to put you into a position where you

829
00:42:07.520 --> 00:42:12.720
can really enjoy it without all this other chaos coming into play as well.

830
00:42:12.720 --> 00:42:14.720
Okay.

831
00:42:14.720 --> 00:42:20.520
For me, I guess right in this process right now, it's like, for me, I have this ideal

832
00:42:20.520 --> 00:42:23.900
of what I would like my relationship with God actually to look like.

833
00:42:23.900 --> 00:42:27.360
And I don't have it or like at least not all the time.

834
00:42:27.360 --> 00:42:28.360
And that bothers me.

835
00:42:28.360 --> 00:42:35.160
And that relationship with your father, like a distant, well, it's good now, but he was

836
00:42:35.160 --> 00:42:40.080
emotionally absent and I didn't really know how to bond with me when I was growing up.

837
00:42:40.080 --> 00:42:41.920
And what's your relationship with your mom?

838
00:42:41.920 --> 00:42:42.920
Great.

839
00:42:42.920 --> 00:42:44.520
She's like the best mom ever.

840
00:42:44.520 --> 00:42:49.920
You got this great mom and you had this distant dad and he's kind of come around now.

841
00:42:49.920 --> 00:42:53.080
It's sort of the damage is done, right?

842
00:42:53.080 --> 00:42:56.840
Where father figures are distant.

843
00:42:56.840 --> 00:42:57.840
They're not emotionally available.

844
00:42:57.840 --> 00:42:58.840
He was just busy all the time.

845
00:42:58.840 --> 00:42:59.840
He's a pastor.

846
00:42:59.840 --> 00:43:00.840
He was busy.

847
00:43:00.840 --> 00:43:13.960
Oh, well, that's even worse because you were a fatherless daughter because of God.

848
00:43:13.960 --> 00:43:15.840
God stole your dad from you.

849
00:43:15.840 --> 00:43:22.000
So there's, you know, there, there could be some unconscious things.

850
00:43:22.000 --> 00:43:26.160
I deal with a lot of PKs, a lot of pastors, kids, and a lot of them feel that way.

851
00:43:26.160 --> 00:43:30.360
They feel like at least you had a really good close mom, but a lot of them feel like they've

852
00:43:30.360 --> 00:43:31.520
been orphans.

853
00:43:31.520 --> 00:43:37.600
They've been orphaned by the church and by, you know, their, their parent putting God

854
00:43:37.600 --> 00:43:38.600
before them.

855
00:43:38.600 --> 00:43:39.600
Right.

856
00:43:39.600 --> 00:43:43.120
Well, I've never really liked church to be honest.

857
00:43:43.120 --> 00:43:44.120
Yeah.

858
00:43:44.120 --> 00:43:45.120
And that too.

859
00:43:45.400 --> 00:43:46.400
So pray into some of that.

860
00:43:46.400 --> 00:43:50.040
Say, Hey God, you know, I might have some resentment towards you because my dad was

861
00:43:50.040 --> 00:43:53.080
always serving you instead of serving me.

862
00:43:53.080 --> 00:43:55.880
He was always serving you and loving you instead of loving me.

863
00:43:55.880 --> 00:44:00.240
You know, he was always too busy helping other people's families and other people's kids

864
00:44:00.240 --> 00:44:04.180
because of you and what you asked him to do instead of me.

865
00:44:04.180 --> 00:44:06.720
So dig into that and see if that brings some breakthrough.

866
00:44:06.720 --> 00:44:07.720
Okay.

867
00:44:07.720 --> 00:44:08.720
Thank you.

868
00:44:08.720 --> 00:44:09.720
Good.

869
00:44:09.720 --> 00:44:10.720
Report back because we want to know.

870
00:44:10.720 --> 00:44:11.720
Okay.

871
00:44:11.720 --> 00:44:14.320
And you guys, this is stuff you can share in your group.

872
00:44:14.320 --> 00:44:18.320
So those of you that were in here live, you know, if Stephanie shows up and says, Hey,

873
00:44:18.320 --> 00:44:20.920
I prayed into this and I really got some freedom.

874
00:44:20.920 --> 00:44:23.040
This is what God showed me.

875
00:44:23.040 --> 00:44:26.000
And you guys will know what she's talking about and you'll be like, wow, man, that's

876
00:44:26.000 --> 00:44:27.000
awesome.

877
00:44:27.000 --> 00:44:29.720
And it might, it might bring you some freedom in a different area.

878
00:44:29.720 --> 00:44:30.720
Okay.

879
00:44:30.720 --> 00:44:33.640
So this is why it's important for you guys to engage each other.

880
00:44:33.640 --> 00:44:37.280
Stephanie, all the Stephanie's tonight, Stephanie spelled with an N E Y Davis.

881
00:44:37.280 --> 00:44:38.280
What you got?

882
00:44:38.280 --> 00:44:42.800
Oh, so I have a question that involves me and my son.

883
00:44:42.800 --> 00:44:46.560
So my ex husband was abusive and we ran.

884
00:44:46.560 --> 00:44:53.280
So that was almost like 10 years ago, but my son doesn't have a relationship with him

885
00:44:53.280 --> 00:44:56.640
and it hits really, really affected him.

886
00:44:56.640 --> 00:44:59.640
And I'm trying to, I've been praying, but I'm trying to figure.

887
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:07.280
how if I probably talk to him, if that would kind of like break that it's okay to talk to his dad.

888
00:45:08.560 --> 00:45:13.520
Because when they talked, the last time they spoke, you know, my son brought up the things that

889
00:45:13.520 --> 00:45:21.840
he did and, you know, he got mad. How old is your son? He's gonna be 18. He's 17 now. Okay.

890
00:45:24.400 --> 00:45:29.840
Do you think that, I mean, I always like for people, like when you're going through heart work,

891
00:45:30.720 --> 00:45:34.800
these concepts are transferable to your children, you guys. So if you have little children,

892
00:45:35.360 --> 00:45:40.960
one of the things that I think has been really effective with a littler child is to the concepts

893
00:45:40.960 --> 00:45:45.600
of the heart work, kind of like unpacking the boxes, you could like use their book bag from

894
00:45:45.600 --> 00:45:50.240
school. You could put a bunch of stuff in their book bag, some of the stuff that they need,

895
00:45:50.240 --> 00:45:54.480
some of the stuff that, you know, and some just silly stuff that they don't need or that would

896
00:45:54.480 --> 00:45:58.800
make their bag really heavy, like have them put it on. They'll be like, oh, it's so heavy. It's

897
00:45:58.800 --> 00:46:03.440
hard to carry. Isn't it? Okay. Let's look and see what's in it. Then you take out those things and

898
00:46:03.440 --> 00:46:09.760
you kind of liken those things to bad feelings towards people or hurt or offenses, you know,

899
00:46:09.760 --> 00:46:14.400
and stuff. And you show them how to kind of unpack their backpack. Okay. I like it. Lauren's saying

900
00:46:14.400 --> 00:46:19.520
that her, her child, her children did a Jesus cares board that you guys very transferable.

901
00:46:19.520 --> 00:46:26.000
Her son is an adult. He's 18 years old. And so ask Holy Spirit to kind of show you a way to broach

902
00:46:26.000 --> 00:46:32.160
the subject with him about, about some of the feelings that he might have, you know, invite him,

903
00:46:32.160 --> 00:46:38.560
give him permission to share his heart with you about the abandonment or the neglect or what he

904
00:46:38.560 --> 00:46:48.640
feels about dad. And, you know, can't force it, but you can give the invitation, Stephanie. Do

905
00:46:48.640 --> 00:46:55.120
you see what I'm saying? Yes, ma'am. Okay. I'll do, I'll try the, I like the idea with the bag.

906
00:46:55.120 --> 00:47:00.880
So I'll do those and put in his bag that we can talk to. Does he go, does he go to the gym?

907
00:47:01.600 --> 00:47:07.680
Yeah, he's in, he's a wrestler. Yes. Oh, see. So make his wrestling bag bag, really heavy

908
00:47:07.680 --> 00:47:12.080
with stuff. And then just be like, Hey, you know, can you lift low? What the heck's in here? And

909
00:47:12.080 --> 00:47:16.080
then, you know, kind of have that conversation. Do you have a close relationship with him?

910
00:47:16.880 --> 00:47:22.880
Yes. Okay. All right. Well, we'll be praying that, you know, he's open to that and understands that

911
00:47:22.880 --> 00:47:31.040
metaphor and is able to, you know, is able to get some healing from that. Yes, ma'am. Thank you so

912
00:47:31.040 --> 00:47:35.600
very much. Yeah, you're welcome. Right. Before I take care, and I'm just going to look through the

913
00:47:35.600 --> 00:47:41.440
chat here. I saw some things. So I like what this other guest has a lot of Stephanie's in here,

914
00:47:42.080 --> 00:47:46.800
unless this is the Stephanie from before, but she said, I feel like my standards have been too low.

915
00:47:48.000 --> 00:47:52.800
And I had high standards for years and didn't date anyone. And then your pendulum swinged and

916
00:47:52.800 --> 00:48:00.400
then you let them get low. Right. So then again, yeah. Is that the same person? Yeah. Okay. All

917
00:48:00.400 --> 00:48:07.440
right. Okay. So, um, I hear what you're saying there. And so you guys obviously want the pendulum

918
00:48:07.440 --> 00:48:12.560
to kind of come into the middle. We need to have standards. Okay. We need to have

919
00:48:13.280 --> 00:48:16.640
non-negotiables, but they need to be from heaven.

920
00:48:18.720 --> 00:48:23.120
Pray about your standards, whatever it is that you call your standards. Like

921
00:48:23.120 --> 00:48:28.880
never will I ever. So you guys do that. Did Bethany do my never will I ever exercise with you guys?

922
00:48:28.960 --> 00:48:34.960
Okay. So God, God gave me that word years ago. Like when I first started, you know, doing this

923
00:48:34.960 --> 00:48:39.280
program, he's like, have them do their never will I ever. So I'm like, what is that? He's like,

924
00:48:39.280 --> 00:48:43.600
you know, the things that people tell you all the time when you're matchmaking, you know, they're

925
00:48:43.600 --> 00:48:48.320
like, okay, well, I want this person, Jackie, but never will I ever go out with someone shorter than

926
00:48:48.320 --> 00:48:54.320
me. Never will I ever. And then they just, they use that phrase all the time. So you guys, please

927
00:48:55.280 --> 00:49:01.760
be very mindful of, and be honest with yourself about what your never will I evers have been.

928
00:49:02.560 --> 00:49:06.320
Okay. Cause some of them need to get thrown out and some of them need to stay.

929
00:49:08.960 --> 00:49:13.360
Some of your never will I evers are good. And those are your standards.

930
00:49:14.480 --> 00:49:19.920
You know, never will I ever date someone who's verbally abusive to me. Yeah. Right on.

931
00:49:20.240 --> 00:49:28.400
Never will I ever date someone who has a, you know, tumultuous or

932
00:49:28.400 --> 00:49:33.120
dysfunctional relationship with their baby mama. Okay.

933
00:49:35.520 --> 00:49:41.200
Because something that is an automatic red flag for me is when you show up on a date with someone

934
00:49:41.200 --> 00:49:45.360
and they are being verbally abusive about the mother of their children.

935
00:49:45.360 --> 00:49:54.160
Goodbye. I don't care what she did to you. Go get some healing. She might be the devil incarnate.

936
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:07.160
But I am meeting you for the first time and the fact that you feel comfortable telling

937
00:50:07.160 --> 00:50:13.240
me these things and you have no healing and no clarity means that you're not ready for

938
00:50:13.240 --> 00:50:14.240
a relationship.

939
00:50:14.240 --> 00:50:20.800
At best, you're not ready for a relationship and at worst, you're the problem.

940
00:50:20.800 --> 00:50:23.280
So no.

941
00:50:23.280 --> 00:50:26.520
So have some standards, okay?

942
00:50:26.520 --> 00:50:31.320
But if a guy shows up for a date and through conversation, eventually he says something

943
00:50:31.320 --> 00:50:36.800
like, yeah, you know, I have a really hard time seeing my kids because, you know, their

944
00:50:36.800 --> 00:50:43.480
mom has been, you know, alienating me, all right, okay.

945
00:50:43.480 --> 00:50:46.800
He's hurting.

946
00:50:46.800 --> 00:50:48.320
He's trying to deal with it.

947
00:50:48.320 --> 00:50:53.200
He's not being offensive or abusive towards her or about her.

948
00:50:53.200 --> 00:50:55.640
He's just kind of stating a fact.

949
00:50:55.640 --> 00:50:59.720
Maybe it's a TMI on a first or second or third date for him to tell you that, but a lot of

950
00:50:59.720 --> 00:51:02.160
people don't know that they're oversharing.

951
00:51:02.160 --> 00:51:03.160
That's a yellow flag.

952
00:51:03.160 --> 00:51:06.160
That doesn't have to be a non-negotiable.

953
00:51:06.160 --> 00:51:10.320
Gotta see where that goes, what happens with that, okay?

954
00:51:10.320 --> 00:51:13.600
So if your pendulum is swung the other way where you're giving everyone a chance now

955
00:51:13.600 --> 00:51:17.640
because you didn't date for so long and you felt like you had your nose in the air and

956
00:51:17.640 --> 00:51:21.320
you were snobby about who you would go out with and who you wouldn't go out with, let's

957
00:51:21.320 --> 00:51:28.760
let the pendulum get to the middle where we are being actively selective with our heaven

958
00:51:28.760 --> 00:51:33.160
non-negotiables, but everybody else, we're going to give them a chance, okay, if they

959
00:51:33.160 --> 00:51:34.160
don't have those.

960
00:51:34.160 --> 00:51:35.160
Hey, Karen, what you got?

961
00:51:35.160 --> 00:51:36.160
There we go.

962
00:51:36.160 --> 00:51:43.480
I just have a question because I'm a couple of weeks in, so I got your program.

963
00:51:43.480 --> 00:51:48.280
I think it was like Black Friday and then everything in December happened, it felt like,

964
00:51:48.280 --> 00:51:49.960
and sickness, everything.

965
00:51:50.000 --> 00:51:51.520
So now I'm on week two.

966
00:51:51.520 --> 00:51:55.880
I finished it actually, but I'm feeling like with the heart box part, like I've really

967
00:51:55.880 --> 00:52:02.260
gone after healing of an intentional and pursued it and God isn't so much, but it's like these

968
00:52:02.260 --> 00:52:06.400
things are coming up and I'm like, well, do I just linger here for a little bit longer?

969
00:52:06.400 --> 00:52:07.400
Do I move on?

970
00:52:07.400 --> 00:52:09.920
Because I went through it.

971
00:52:09.920 --> 00:52:10.920
What do I do?

972
00:52:10.920 --> 00:52:15.880
And then another piece would be like, I honestly haven't dated in probably two decades and

973
00:52:15.880 --> 00:52:18.240
it's not like a gold medal of honor.

974
00:52:18.240 --> 00:52:21.760
It was just, I was married and then I went through a divorce 10 years ago.

975
00:52:21.760 --> 00:52:25.560
And then there was a season where my ex and I, maybe we could figure it out.

976
00:52:25.560 --> 00:52:28.680
And I was, we were being counseled by pastors and this and that.

977
00:52:28.680 --> 00:52:31.520
And I always wanted that Hallmark moment, but it's very clear.

978
00:52:31.520 --> 00:52:35.920
I mean, he was pretty, he was never physically abusive, but it was a really bad marriage

979
00:52:35.920 --> 00:52:38.720
and it never worked out.

980
00:52:38.720 --> 00:52:41.540
And he hasn't talked to the kids and I in almost two years now.

981
00:52:41.540 --> 00:52:46.520
And so it's definitely like, that's definitely not a thing, but I never really, I was of

982
00:52:46.520 --> 00:52:48.720
the generation of I've kissed dating goodbye, right.

983
00:52:48.720 --> 00:52:50.520
Where, you know, just date.

984
00:52:50.520 --> 00:52:54.320
And I'm like, but I know that book, I'm just like, how do I navigate?

985
00:52:54.320 --> 00:52:57.200
I guess where I am in the heart box piece.

986
00:52:57.200 --> 00:52:59.880
And then I'm really like, I'm raising my kids.

987
00:52:59.880 --> 00:53:00.880
I'm content.

988
00:53:00.880 --> 00:53:01.880
They're getting older.

989
00:53:01.880 --> 00:53:02.880
I would love a spirit mate.

990
00:53:02.880 --> 00:53:06.160
I'd love to know what a healthy marriage look like.

991
00:53:06.160 --> 00:53:10.160
And you know, I worked at Bethel for almost 12 years and it was phenomenal and I met amazing

992
00:53:10.160 --> 00:53:12.680
people that had incredible marriages.

993
00:53:12.680 --> 00:53:15.320
So I know there's great people out there.

994
00:53:15.320 --> 00:53:21.920
I don't know, I'm just, there's just a lot of, I'm kind of in the groove of life and

995
00:53:21.920 --> 00:53:23.400
what does it look like meeting somebody?

996
00:53:23.400 --> 00:53:25.680
I don't, you know, I don't know.

997
00:53:25.680 --> 00:53:29.720
Well here's the thing, Karen and Emily, I'm reading your question in the chat as well

998
00:53:29.720 --> 00:53:35.560
is that what it looks like for people to meet someone is not what it looks like for you

999
00:53:35.560 --> 00:53:36.560
to meet someone.

1000
00:53:36.560 --> 00:53:37.920
Like your story is very individual.

1001
00:53:37.920 --> 00:53:38.920
Okay.

1002
00:53:38.920 --> 00:53:39.920
It's going to be very unique.

1003
00:53:40.440 --> 00:53:45.400
And you guys, obviously rom-coms are going to mess you up so you probably shouldn't be,

1004
00:53:45.400 --> 00:53:46.400
you know, watching them.

1005
00:53:46.400 --> 00:53:51.280
I know that we came through a whole Christmas season full of Hallmark stuff.

1006
00:53:51.280 --> 00:53:56.440
So unless, you know, you're a fired advertising exec that's going to move back home to some

1007
00:53:56.440 --> 00:54:01.840
little podunk town and marry the guy who owns a Christmas tree farm, this is not for you.

1008
00:54:01.840 --> 00:54:02.840
Okay.

1009
00:54:02.840 --> 00:54:04.400
That's just not the way it works.

1010
00:54:04.400 --> 00:54:05.400
Not what happens.

1011
00:54:05.400 --> 00:54:06.400
It just isn't.

1012
00:54:06.400 --> 00:54:08.080
Not what happens.

1013
00:54:08.080 --> 00:54:09.080
Okay.

1014
00:54:09.360 --> 00:54:12.840
But doesn't mean that your love story isn't going to be supernatural.

1015
00:54:12.840 --> 00:54:16.280
So that's one thing that I want you to write down.

1016
00:54:16.280 --> 00:54:21.640
A lot of people get really discouraged because the natural is discouraging.

1017
00:54:21.640 --> 00:54:24.320
Like the natural life that you're living.

1018
00:54:24.320 --> 00:54:29.120
So the job that you go to, the state of life that you're living in, it sounds like Karen's

1019
00:54:29.120 --> 00:54:33.040
really enjoying her life and raising her kids and all the things.

1020
00:54:33.040 --> 00:54:34.560
But a lot of you don't feel that way.

1021
00:54:34.560 --> 00:54:37.760
A lot of you have a life that you don't love.

1022
00:54:37.760 --> 00:54:38.920
Okay.

1023
00:54:38.920 --> 00:54:41.920
And you're not enjoying.

1024
00:54:41.920 --> 00:54:48.000
And a lot of times we get overwhelmed of how can I even meet someone in this life that

1025
00:54:48.000 --> 00:54:49.480
I'm living?

1026
00:54:49.480 --> 00:54:53.880
But what you're not factoring in, and even if you're like Karen, where you really like

1027
00:54:53.880 --> 00:54:59.240
your single life, because you guys are not mutually exclusive, you can want a partner,

1028
00:54:59.240 --> 00:55:00.040
the right partner.

1029
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.440
not just any partner, and also love your single life.

1030
00:55:03.440 --> 00:55:05.960
Those are not mutually exclusive ideas, okay?

1031
00:55:05.960 --> 00:55:08.120
And I want you to get to a place,

1032
00:55:08.120 --> 00:55:09.880
that's why we call this last year single,

1033
00:55:09.880 --> 00:55:12.320
and we don't call it married in 12 months or less anymore.

1034
00:55:12.320 --> 00:55:15.000
We don't want the focus to be on being married

1035
00:55:15.000 --> 00:55:17.800
in 12 months or less, we want the focus on you

1036
00:55:17.800 --> 00:55:20.000
making this your last year single,

1037
00:55:20.000 --> 00:55:23.160
meaning that you get a life that you love

1038
00:55:23.160 --> 00:55:26.400
that ends in partnership, okay?

1039
00:55:26.400 --> 00:55:27.320
That's what we want you to do.

1040
00:55:27.320 --> 00:55:29.680
We want to help you love your life,

1041
00:55:29.760 --> 00:55:32.120
and then add someone to that life you love.

1042
00:55:32.120 --> 00:55:33.680
And so I say all that to say this,

1043
00:55:33.680 --> 00:55:35.600
there's a very supernatural element

1044
00:55:35.600 --> 00:55:37.160
to each one of your love stories,

1045
00:55:37.160 --> 00:55:40.560
and that is what you have to continue to remind yourself.

1046
00:55:40.560 --> 00:55:42.920
Because if you think that you have to make this happen,

1047
00:55:42.920 --> 00:55:46.120
and if you think that you have to go through all the,

1048
00:55:46.120 --> 00:55:48.200
you know, you just gotta work it like a job

1049
00:55:48.200 --> 00:55:50.320
until it happens, like even the apps,

1050
00:55:50.320 --> 00:55:53.360
everything from this phase on, phase one, heartwork,

1051
00:55:53.360 --> 00:55:55.920
I want you to feel God in it with you.

1052
00:55:55.920 --> 00:55:59.320
I want you to feel God emotionally involved with you.

1053
00:55:59.960 --> 00:56:01.160
I want you to understand that that is the way

1054
00:56:01.160 --> 00:56:04.440
that God has created you to live your life.

1055
00:56:04.440 --> 00:56:09.440
One of the names of Jesus is Emmanuel, God with us.

1056
00:56:09.520 --> 00:56:13.880
Not with us sometimes, with us all the time.

1057
00:56:15.040 --> 00:56:17.520
God wants to be emotionally involved with you.

1058
00:56:17.520 --> 00:56:19.840
He is, he wants you to know that he is,

1059
00:56:19.840 --> 00:56:22.240
meaning that he cares about everything.

1060
00:56:22.240 --> 00:56:24.120
That's why the Jesus Cares Board is so important.

1061
00:56:24.120 --> 00:56:26.640
He wants you to know that he cares for you.

1062
00:56:26.640 --> 00:56:29.040
So he wants you to cast your care upon him

1063
00:56:29.720 --> 00:56:31.120
because he cares for you.

1064
00:56:31.120 --> 00:56:36.120
And with that, understanding that everything that you do,

1065
00:56:36.120 --> 00:56:38.200
you can do supernaturally.

1066
00:56:38.200 --> 00:56:41.200
So for instance, if you're swiping on the app,

1067
00:56:41.200 --> 00:56:42.840
swipe supernaturally.

1068
00:56:44.040 --> 00:56:49.040
Don't swipe mad, okay, like some honey badger

1069
00:56:50.440 --> 00:56:54.240
looking through these deadbeat dudes

1070
00:56:54.240 --> 00:56:56.520
trying to find one that you could marry.

1071
00:56:56.520 --> 00:56:59.320
First of all, please don't look for your husband

1072
00:56:59.320 --> 00:57:00.480
on a dating app.

1073
00:57:00.480 --> 00:57:01.720
Just look for a guy that,

1074
00:57:01.720 --> 00:57:03.320
not that you could spend the rest of your life with,

1075
00:57:03.320 --> 00:57:07.080
that you could spend next Saturday night with, okay?

1076
00:57:07.080 --> 00:57:09.120
That's all we're looking for here.

1077
00:57:09.120 --> 00:57:12.520
Someone who's interesting enough to meet up with in person

1078
00:57:13.440 --> 00:57:14.840
and do it supernaturally.

1079
00:57:14.840 --> 00:57:17.000
Ask God to give you supernatural eyes.

1080
00:57:17.000 --> 00:57:19.400
Ask God to let you see people after the spirit

1081
00:57:19.400 --> 00:57:20.440
and not the flesh.

1082
00:57:22.840 --> 00:57:25.800
Someone that you may not have ever stopped on

1083
00:57:25.840 --> 00:57:30.360
or swiped on when you're looking through angry eyes,

1084
00:57:30.360 --> 00:57:32.480
Mrs. Potato Head, no.

1085
00:57:34.920 --> 00:57:37.280
Look through God's eyes.

1086
00:57:37.280 --> 00:57:39.720
Let him show you what he sees.

1087
00:57:39.720 --> 00:57:41.360
And then you might feel drawn to something

1088
00:57:41.360 --> 00:57:43.040
because now you're in the spirit.

1089
00:57:45.840 --> 00:57:47.360
Because I'm just gonna tell you right now,

1090
00:57:47.360 --> 00:57:50.000
every single love story that we have had

1091
00:57:50.000 --> 00:57:53.120
through this program has had a supernatural element to it.

1092
00:57:54.080 --> 00:57:56.920
Every single one of them, okay?

1093
00:57:58.600 --> 00:58:01.000
God is with you in this.

1094
00:58:01.000 --> 00:58:03.280
And you can apply this to everything.

1095
00:58:03.280 --> 00:58:04.960
If you're looking for a job,

1096
00:58:04.960 --> 00:58:07.600
don't just look for the job that pays the most money.

1097
00:58:09.680 --> 00:58:12.560
Let Holy Spirit lead you and guide you

1098
00:58:12.560 --> 00:58:14.600
through the jobs on LinkedIn,

1099
00:58:14.600 --> 00:58:16.120
through the things that you're looking at,

1100
00:58:16.120 --> 00:58:18.160
through the applications that you're putting in.

1101
00:58:18.160 --> 00:58:20.320
If you're looking for a house, same thing.

1102
00:58:21.320 --> 00:58:23.200
If you're looking for a pet, same thing.

1103
00:58:23.200 --> 00:58:25.120
It doesn't matter what it is.

1104
00:58:25.120 --> 00:58:28.720
God wants to be with you in these things

1105
00:58:28.720 --> 00:58:31.120
and give you supernatural results.

1106
00:58:31.120 --> 00:58:33.360
Would you like to live a supernatural life?

1107
00:58:35.000 --> 00:58:36.880
That's what phase one is all about.

1108
00:58:36.880 --> 00:58:41.160
It's about living supernaturally, okay?

1109
00:58:42.040 --> 00:58:44.680
So instead of feeling all the pressure

1110
00:58:44.680 --> 00:58:46.880
of being single in the year 2024

1111
00:58:46.880 --> 00:58:49.400
and how in the world am I gonna meet someone quality

1112
00:58:50.040 --> 00:58:52.040
and how in the world are we gonna do this?

1113
00:58:52.040 --> 00:58:54.000
I have kids, what's gonna happen?

1114
00:58:54.000 --> 00:58:55.120
I don't have time to date.

1115
00:58:55.120 --> 00:58:59.160
I'm a nurse, I work four, 15 hour shifts.

1116
00:58:59.160 --> 00:59:02.840
Instead of leaning into all of those objections

1117
00:59:02.840 --> 00:59:06.120
which are all basically based in the natural,

1118
00:59:06.120 --> 00:59:08.560
lean into, hey, you know what, God?

1119
00:59:08.560 --> 00:59:10.440
You're in this with me.

1120
00:59:10.440 --> 00:59:14.440
And you are the same God who spoke everything

1121
00:59:14.440 --> 00:59:16.280
in this world into existence.

1122
00:59:16.280 --> 00:59:18.600
You are the God of the universe, of the cosmos,

1123
00:59:18.640 --> 00:59:20.960
and with you, all things are possible.

1124
00:59:20.960 --> 00:59:23.720
And you're gonna give me a supernatural love story.

1125
00:59:23.720 --> 00:59:28.720
So help me to think about this supernaturally today, okay?

1126
00:59:28.840 --> 00:59:30.800
That is what we're doing.

1127
00:59:30.800 --> 00:59:32.480
That is what we're doing, friends.

1128
00:59:34.320 --> 00:59:35.440
Yes.

1129
00:59:35.440 --> 00:59:37.640
Surrendering your picker picking of your relationships

1130
00:59:37.640 --> 00:59:41.160
to the Lord, inviting him to yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

1131
00:59:42.200 --> 00:59:44.480
You know, some of you guys are not interested

1132
00:59:44.480 --> 00:59:45.680
in men that you meet

1133
00:59:45.720 --> 00:59:48.840
because you have not surrendered

1134
00:59:48.840 --> 00:59:51.520
your attractions to the Lord.

1135
00:59:51.520 --> 00:59:52.520
Please write that down.

1136
00:59:52.520 --> 00:59:54.000
You wanna do that during phase one

1137
00:59:54.000 --> 00:59:55.600
before you get to phase two.

1138
00:59:55.600 --> 00:59:57.320
Surrender your attractions to the Lord

1139
00:59:57.320 --> 00:59:59.120
because I'm gonna say something right now

1140
00:59:59.120 --> 01:00:00.120
and it's important.

1141
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.000
Some of you guys, what you're attracted to is not good.

1142
01:00:07.100 --> 01:00:10.700
The thing that gets your engine running is not good.

1143
01:00:11.800 --> 01:00:13.000
It's not good for you.

1144
01:00:13.000 --> 01:00:15.700
It's not healthy for you or your children.

1145
01:00:15.700 --> 01:00:17.500
It's never worked out in the past.

1146
01:00:17.500 --> 01:00:19.800
So why do you keep doing it?

1147
01:00:19.800 --> 01:00:23.360
Same dude, different clothes, different day,

1148
01:00:23.360 --> 01:00:25.740
same kind of guy.

1149
01:00:27.360 --> 01:00:29.680
And it's, you know, we all know what it is.

1150
01:00:29.680 --> 01:00:32.280
We've all seen the psychobabble on TikTok.

1151
01:00:32.280 --> 01:00:34.620
It's a broken relationship you're trying to fix

1152
01:00:34.620 --> 01:00:35.460
from the past.

1153
01:00:35.460 --> 01:00:37.720
It's your dad, it's your brother, it's this, it's that,

1154
01:00:37.720 --> 01:00:40.040
it's mom, I get it.

1155
01:00:40.040 --> 01:00:42.440
But that's why we're here to do heart work.

1156
01:00:42.440 --> 01:00:45.140
And we're here to ask God to cleanse.

1157
01:00:45.140 --> 01:00:46.740
Put this down, write it down.

1158
01:00:46.740 --> 01:00:48.640
God, cleanse my palate.

1159
01:00:50.240 --> 01:00:51.640
Cleanse my palate.

1160
01:00:51.640 --> 01:00:52.980
If you've ever been to a fancy restaurant,

1161
01:00:52.980 --> 01:00:57.080
in between courses, they give you some palate cleanser.

1162
01:00:57.080 --> 01:00:59.880
They give you this sorbet that just cleanses your palate.

1163
01:00:59.880 --> 01:01:00.720
Why?

1164
01:01:00.720 --> 01:01:03.460
Because they want you to be able to get rid

1165
01:01:03.460 --> 01:01:04.840
of what was in your mouth before,

1166
01:01:04.840 --> 01:01:08.680
the taste that you had so that you can enjoy a new taste.

1167
01:01:08.680 --> 01:01:13.240
And so ask God to change your taste in men.

1168
01:01:13.240 --> 01:01:15.700
Cleanse my palate, Papa.

1169
01:01:17.040 --> 01:01:19.480
Change my taste in men.

1170
01:01:20.520 --> 01:01:25.520
Let me get excited about things that are good for me.

1171
01:01:28.080 --> 01:01:30.600
And you can ask him to do this in any area.

1172
01:01:30.600 --> 01:01:32.560
Some of you need him to cleanse your palate

1173
01:01:32.560 --> 01:01:34.520
and change your taste in food.

1174
01:01:34.520 --> 01:01:39.520
The food that you're attracted to is really bad for you.

1175
01:01:39.960 --> 01:01:41.680
It's hurting your body.

1176
01:01:41.680 --> 01:01:43.320
It's raising your blood pressure.

1177
01:01:44.320 --> 01:01:45.640
You're insulin resistant.

1178
01:01:45.640 --> 01:01:47.760
You have pre-diabetes.

1179
01:01:47.760 --> 01:01:49.000
It's time.

1180
01:01:49.000 --> 01:01:54.000
Do you guys know that sugar has been proven

1181
01:01:54.360 --> 01:01:57.600
to be eight times more powerful than cocaine?

1182
01:01:57.600 --> 01:01:58.840
The addiction to sugar.

1183
01:02:00.680 --> 01:02:02.720
And I want to tell you something else you might not know.

1184
01:02:02.720 --> 01:02:05.600
When you're not having sex, you crave sugar.

1185
01:02:09.640 --> 01:02:12.280
You got to find something else for that outlet.

1186
01:02:12.280 --> 01:02:15.280
And we can ask God to, we don't have to white knuckle it.

1187
01:02:15.280 --> 01:02:18.600
We don't have to try to make this happen on our own.

1188
01:02:18.600 --> 01:02:23.600
We are here to ask God to help us change our taste in food.

1189
01:02:24.440 --> 01:02:26.400
Change our taste in men.

1190
01:02:26.400 --> 01:02:28.760
Let me crave things that are good for me, Lord.

1191
01:02:31.760 --> 01:02:33.320
My trainer is so funny

1192
01:02:33.320 --> 01:02:35.520
because you guys, I'm going to turn 50 in 10 days.

1193
01:02:35.520 --> 01:02:38.840
10 days from now, I'm going to turn 50, okay?

1194
01:02:38.840 --> 01:02:41.880
And I'm going to Vegas for my 50th birthday

1195
01:02:41.880 --> 01:02:44.720
to go to the Eagles concert.

1196
01:02:44.720 --> 01:02:46.000
I'm going to go to the Eagles concert.

1197
01:02:46.000 --> 01:02:47.160
If you guys don't know what that is,

1198
01:02:47.160 --> 01:02:49.240
then you're either way older than me

1199
01:02:49.240 --> 01:02:50.080
or way younger than me.

1200
01:02:50.080 --> 01:02:52.960
Okay, yeah, I'm going to go do it.

1201
01:02:52.960 --> 01:02:57.960
And so I was basically asking the guy, the trainer,

1202
01:02:58.440 --> 01:02:59.560
and I know him.

1203
01:02:59.560 --> 01:03:01.960
I used to know him and his wife back in the day.

1204
01:03:01.960 --> 01:03:06.960
I said, what kind of food am I allowed to eat in Vegas?

1205
01:03:07.520 --> 01:03:09.680
I'm not going to be on a diet in Vegas.

1206
01:03:12.120 --> 01:03:13.960
And he goes, oh no.

1207
01:03:13.960 --> 01:03:16.560
Of course, he's kind of an off-color person.

1208
01:03:16.560 --> 01:03:18.000
He goes, oh no.

1209
01:03:18.000 --> 01:03:19.320
He's like, when you go to Vegas,

1210
01:03:19.320 --> 01:03:21.600
he's like, it's all hookers and cocaine.

1211
01:03:21.600 --> 01:03:23.280
And I'm like, wait, what?

1212
01:03:23.280 --> 01:03:26.080
And he's like, that just means you can eat whatever you want.

1213
01:03:26.080 --> 01:03:29.560
I'm like, okay, that's a very strange way to say it.

1214
01:03:29.560 --> 01:03:34.560
So you guys, we've got to change our appetite

1215
01:03:34.720 --> 01:03:36.800
if it's for things that are bad for us,

1216
01:03:36.800 --> 01:03:39.100
but we cannot do that on our own, can we?

1217
01:03:40.240 --> 01:03:41.320
Can we?

1218
01:03:41.320 --> 01:03:43.320
I've tried a million times and guess what?

1219
01:03:43.320 --> 01:03:45.480
I always end up right back where I started.

1220
01:03:45.480 --> 01:03:48.840
But when I invite Holy Spirit into that process

1221
01:03:48.840 --> 01:03:52.600
to show me why I like things that are bad for me,

1222
01:03:53.640 --> 01:03:55.920
to give me the revealing for the healing,

1223
01:03:57.200 --> 01:03:58.960
that's when things change, huh?

1224
01:04:01.400 --> 01:04:03.640
This is good stuff tonight, you friends.

1225
01:04:03.640 --> 01:04:06.040
Maybe except for the hookers and cocaine thing.

1226
01:04:06.040 --> 01:04:09.240
Okay, that's going to be a blast.

1227
01:04:09.240 --> 01:04:11.560
Suggest a healthy alternative to sugar.

1228
01:04:11.560 --> 01:04:13.440
Well, you know, for everyone that's going to be different

1229
01:04:13.440 --> 01:04:17.120
because everyone is addicted to sugar for different reasons.

1230
01:04:18.120 --> 01:04:19.880
Some people medicate with food.

1231
01:04:20.880 --> 01:04:24.680
Some people have a thyroid issue.

1232
01:04:24.680 --> 01:04:27.880
Some people have a cortisol issue and they're tired

1233
01:04:27.880 --> 01:04:29.720
and that's why they are addicted to sugar

1234
01:04:29.720 --> 01:04:32.320
because they need the high, you know, they need the energy.

1235
01:04:32.320 --> 01:04:33.840
Some people are addicted to sugar

1236
01:04:33.840 --> 01:04:37.800
because they're in their dirty thirties

1237
01:04:37.800 --> 01:04:39.160
and they're not having sex.

1238
01:04:40.960 --> 01:04:44.560
You can replace the, you know,

1239
01:04:44.680 --> 01:04:47.600
trying to get that feeling from chocolate

1240
01:04:47.600 --> 01:04:49.640
that you would get from an orgasm,

1241
01:04:49.640 --> 01:04:53.160
you can replace that with some exercise endorphins, y'all.

1242
01:04:53.160 --> 01:04:55.640
I know that does not sound fun, but you can.

1243
01:04:58.080 --> 01:05:00.680
People are like, Jackie, I promise you, there's a...

1244
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.440
I'm like, is there, is there a runner's high?

1245
01:05:04.440 --> 01:05:12.720
I don't know.

1246
01:05:12.720 --> 01:05:21.360
All of my coaching, all my coaching students that are on here to get certified, you might

1247
01:05:21.360 --> 01:05:25.680
want to leave out the whole hookers and cocaine reference, okay?

1248
01:05:25.680 --> 01:05:26.920
Thanks.

1249
01:05:26.920 --> 01:05:29.920
Don't tell Bethany I said that, I'm going to get in trouble.

1250
01:05:29.920 --> 01:05:33.960
Okay, let's see.

1251
01:05:33.960 --> 01:05:39.640
Just so you guys know, I actually had a ministry to trafficked women in the 90s, so I spent

1252
01:05:39.640 --> 01:05:42.440
lots of time with hookers, okay?

1253
01:05:42.440 --> 01:05:44.840
That's what they called them back then.

1254
01:05:44.840 --> 01:05:47.620
Sometimes if they were nice, they called them prostitutes.

1255
01:05:47.620 --> 01:05:54.480
And almost every single one of them was sexually abused as a child.

1256
01:05:54.480 --> 01:05:58.840
Almost every single one of them came from a broken home.

1257
01:05:58.840 --> 01:06:00.560
Some of them came from foster care.

1258
01:06:00.560 --> 01:06:05.340
And I'm saying all that to say this, if you have sexual trauma in your past, you are going

1259
01:06:05.340 --> 01:06:09.360
to have to deal with that.

1260
01:06:09.360 --> 01:06:15.000
Because while you might not be a trafficked woman or a prostituted woman, the reason why

1261
01:06:15.000 --> 01:06:21.520
those women got involved with those pimps, those men, because all of them had a pimp.

1262
01:06:21.520 --> 01:06:23.880
All of them had someone who was prostituting them.

1263
01:06:23.880 --> 01:06:26.440
None of them were out there on their own.

1264
01:06:26.440 --> 01:06:30.520
The reason why they got into relationship with those men is not to become prostitutes.

1265
01:06:30.520 --> 01:06:35.400
They got into a relationship with those men because they thought those men loved them.

1266
01:06:35.400 --> 01:06:41.360
And those men wined and dined them and sweet talked them and love bombed them until they

1267
01:06:41.360 --> 01:06:43.040
had them hooked.

1268
01:06:43.040 --> 01:06:50.760
And then they got them to do whatever they wanted them to do in order to keep that love.

1269
01:06:50.760 --> 01:06:55.360
And some of you maybe haven't done anything that drastic, but you have done some crazy

1270
01:06:55.360 --> 01:07:02.120
things to keep love, quote unquote love, it's not love, but to keep the attention of

1271
01:07:02.120 --> 01:07:05.560
someone that literally was destroying you.

1272
01:07:05.560 --> 01:07:08.140
And we don't want that, do we?

1273
01:07:08.140 --> 01:07:09.360
And it's rooted in something.

1274
01:07:09.360 --> 01:07:14.740
It's rooted in some very early belief systems of your worth and value.

1275
01:07:14.740 --> 01:07:19.920
So please let Holy Spirit show you what that is so that we don't lather, rinse, repeat

1276
01:07:19.920 --> 01:07:20.920
that again.

1277
01:07:20.920 --> 01:07:21.920
Okay.

1278
01:07:21.920 --> 01:07:22.920
All right.

1279
01:07:23.320 --> 01:07:28.160
So I can't suggest a healthy alternative for sugar.

1280
01:07:28.160 --> 01:07:33.880
I can suggest all the things that I said because you have to ask Holy Spirit why you want the

1281
01:07:33.880 --> 01:07:41.760
sugar so bad and he'll show you and then you can find an alternative to that thing because

1282
01:07:41.760 --> 01:07:43.360
it's going to be different for everyone.

1283
01:07:43.360 --> 01:07:44.360
All right.

1284
01:07:44.360 --> 01:07:45.920
Let's see what we got in here.

1285
01:07:45.920 --> 01:07:48.720
I have two weeks left of phase one.

1286
01:07:48.720 --> 01:07:51.640
How do I truly know if I'm ready to move on to phase two?

1287
01:07:51.640 --> 01:07:55.760
I had sexual trauma as a child that I have healed from before during heart work, but

1288
01:07:55.760 --> 01:08:00.840
most of my recent hurt has come from men wanting sex before I'm ready and they have cut and

1289
01:08:00.840 --> 01:08:02.400
run because of that.

1290
01:08:02.400 --> 01:08:03.400
Okay.

1291
01:08:03.400 --> 01:08:06.240
So here's the thing, you guys.

1292
01:08:06.240 --> 01:08:13.480
If you find in the past, remember how I said God changed our taste in men.

1293
01:08:13.480 --> 01:08:17.960
If you find that you have attracted the same type of men, this sister is telling us, hey,

1294
01:08:17.960 --> 01:08:20.040
I had sexual trauma in my past.

1295
01:08:20.040 --> 01:08:25.520
I think I've healed from it, but I keep attracting men that just want me for sex.

1296
01:08:25.520 --> 01:08:27.640
You see that there's something still there isn't there?

1297
01:08:27.640 --> 01:08:33.279
There's some kind of tether because I know that when that's all we see, we think that

1298
01:08:33.279 --> 01:08:40.000
that's all there is, but there's lots of men that are very respectful of sexual boundaries.

1299
01:08:40.000 --> 01:08:46.600
They understand that that is not the way that God has created us and it's not, you know,

1300
01:08:46.600 --> 01:08:47.600
it's a sin.

1301
01:08:47.600 --> 01:08:52.680
It is not best practices in any way, shape or form to have sex outside of covenant and

1302
01:08:52.680 --> 01:08:56.040
they are willing, even though they don't want to wait, they are willing to wait because

1303
01:08:56.040 --> 01:08:58.200
they know that God's way is the best way.

1304
01:08:58.200 --> 01:09:00.520
There's lots of men like that.

1305
01:09:00.520 --> 01:09:05.899
So if you are attracting men that are not like that, then there's a reason why.

1306
01:09:05.899 --> 01:09:08.520
What we believe we become, what we become, we attract.

1307
01:09:08.520 --> 01:09:13.920
I know that you've healed some layers of your sexual trauma, but maybe not all the layers

1308
01:09:13.920 --> 01:09:14.920
are healed.

1309
01:09:14.920 --> 01:09:15.920
Okay.

1310
01:09:16.800 --> 01:09:21.000
And the reason why I'm saying that is, is because I am an adult survivor of sexual incest

1311
01:09:21.000 --> 01:09:22.600
and abuse.

1312
01:09:22.600 --> 01:09:27.399
And because I started getting sexual abuse at such a young age by my grandfather and

1313
01:09:27.399 --> 01:09:38.760
then my brother, I know that it developed in me an understanding that my sexuality is

1314
01:09:38.760 --> 01:09:41.880
something that I can use to control men if I want to.

1315
01:09:41.880 --> 01:09:44.200
It also is something that draws men to me.

1316
01:09:44.240 --> 01:09:50.040
But it's also something that makes me valuable and sought out by men for, do you see what

1317
01:09:50.040 --> 01:09:51.040
I'm saying?

1318
01:09:51.040 --> 01:09:54.760
Like I got some really twisted belief systems because of that abuse.

1319
01:09:54.760 --> 01:09:59.520
Well, and Jackie, that was my question.

1320
01:09:59.520 --> 01:10:00.040
And something.

1321
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:07.360
that was told to my mom when I went through that. I was eight and I was sexually molested by my

1322
01:10:07.360 --> 01:10:17.840
brother who was 13. And one of the things they told my mom was that it might become a problem

1323
01:10:17.840 --> 01:10:26.080
as I got older and I would want to, I would become more promiscuous and kind of seek that out. But

1324
01:10:26.800 --> 01:10:34.080
it really did the opposite. I really kind of, I feel like isolated myself from that.

1325
01:10:35.520 --> 01:10:40.000
And so that's probably the layer that I don't know that I've fully healed from.

1326
01:10:43.600 --> 01:10:49.680
So I don't really know what to do. And that's always been something I haven't quite known what

1327
01:10:49.680 --> 01:10:55.120
to do. I mean, I've healed with my brother. I've forgiven my brother. I have a relationship with

1328
01:10:55.120 --> 01:11:03.040
my brother today. But I've just noticed in relationships that I've had, I always seem to

1329
01:11:04.720 --> 01:11:11.680
attract and I don't know if it's just that wall that I've put up or I suddenly assume that that's

1330
01:11:12.480 --> 01:11:21.120
what the guy wants because of my trauma. Now, are you saying you for sure know that that's

1331
01:11:21.120 --> 01:11:25.360
what they want or you're just assuming it? Because I just want to clear that up and then

1332
01:11:25.360 --> 01:11:33.520
I have some feedback for you. No, I know because I have had conversations with men and I've told

1333
01:11:33.520 --> 01:11:42.160
them, for some where we've got farther into dating, I have shared with them that I was

1334
01:11:42.160 --> 01:11:50.720
sexually molested as a child. But I also went from it from the standpoint that I do not believe

1335
01:11:51.680 --> 01:11:59.360
sex before marriage. And I've had some guys say that they would accept that, but their actions

1336
01:11:59.360 --> 01:12:06.560
proved otherwise, or some that have just said, okay, I can't do that. That's not for me.

1337
01:12:07.200 --> 01:12:11.760
Okay. Well, at least it's fair that they're telling you that that's not for me. And so

1338
01:12:11.760 --> 01:12:12.640
they can move on. Yes.

1339
01:12:13.440 --> 01:12:20.240
A couple things here that this, okay, so not all related to Susan. Okay. But if you find that

1340
01:12:20.240 --> 01:12:26.880
there's any area of your life where you're kind of on alert with men, like if you're checking them

1341
01:12:26.880 --> 01:12:31.440
out to see if there are certain way you're hypervigilant of your safety in that area,

1342
01:12:32.080 --> 01:12:36.560
that means that we're probably not fully healed. Okay. If we're hypervigilant wanting to see,

1343
01:12:36.560 --> 01:12:40.720
remember, we want to be God defended. We don't want to constantly be trying to discern

1344
01:12:40.720 --> 01:12:46.320
whether or not this person is going to be X, Y, Z, whatever it is. And then secondly,

1345
01:12:46.960 --> 01:12:52.480
um, you know, we've all been created to be sexual. Hopefully everybody wants to have sex

1346
01:12:52.480 --> 01:12:56.880
in a safe place and a covenant in a place where we feel seen, known, and loved.

1347
01:12:56.880 --> 01:13:01.520
You know, hopefully we're all going to want that and enjoy that. And so sexual trauma,

1348
01:13:01.520 --> 01:13:06.240
you guys, we've got to, we've got to deal with that because, um, just because, you know, it's

1349
01:13:06.800 --> 01:13:10.880
far in the past, doesn't mean that within a sexual relationship and marriage that we're

1350
01:13:10.880 --> 01:13:14.320
going to feel comfortable or feel safe there. So we've got to make sure that we're doing that work.

1351
01:13:15.120 --> 01:13:21.840
Okay. And so, um, that's one thing. And so secondly, um, if we find that we're attracting,

1352
01:13:22.800 --> 01:13:26.560
okay, and this is not really what Susan's describing, because Susan's describing men

1353
01:13:26.560 --> 01:13:31.840
that when the conversation comes up, they're just like, yeah, that's not what I, you know,

1354
01:13:32.640 --> 01:13:36.560
they're not trying to have sex with her, but they're also saying, you know, I plan on having

1355
01:13:36.560 --> 01:13:40.560
a sexual relationship with someone that I'm dating, someone that I'm interested in. I'm not

1356
01:13:40.560 --> 01:13:45.360
wait, I'm not willing to wait until marriage. Now there's a whole different type of guy that

1357
01:13:45.360 --> 01:13:54.000
becomes very, um, sexual with you really quickly tries to, you know, tries to, you know, get sexual

1358
01:13:54.000 --> 01:13:59.040
with you. Even in text messages says, you know, things like you think everything's going great.

1359
01:13:59.040 --> 01:14:02.960
And then all of a sudden they send a message, something like, you know, uh, God forbid,

1360
01:14:02.960 --> 01:14:07.040
they send an actual picture of their penis or something, but they'll do, maybe they could be

1361
01:14:07.040 --> 01:14:14.160
doing something else. Like saying things like, um, you know, I'm in bed. Are you in bed? Like,

1362
01:14:14.160 --> 01:14:18.880
they're just kind of fishing, right? They're just, they're wanting to try to open the conversation

1363
01:14:18.880 --> 01:14:24.720
up towards things that are sexual. All right. If you feel like you tracked that kind of guy,

1364
01:14:24.720 --> 01:14:30.560
Susan's not mentioning that kind of guy, but if any of you feel like you continuously attract the

1365
01:14:30.560 --> 01:14:36.160
kind of guy who that's all they're interested in, they're not just saying, oh, Hey, yeah.

1366
01:14:36.240 --> 01:14:40.480
You know, I, I plan on having sex with someone that I'm dating and someone that I'm interested

1367
01:14:40.480 --> 01:14:46.320
in. I don't want to wait till marriage. No, they don't want to wait till date too. These guys are

1368
01:14:46.320 --> 01:14:51.360
looking for a booty call. They're looking for sex. If you find yourself attracting that guy,

1369
01:14:52.160 --> 01:14:56.240
we definitely want to take a look at that. Don't just assume that that's how all men are.

1370
01:14:56.240 --> 01:14:59.760
Cause it's not true. What often

1371
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.000
I had one client who is, you know, pretty overweight.

1372
01:15:05.000 --> 01:15:07.900
She probably needs to lose about a hundred pounds, okay?

1373
01:15:07.900 --> 01:15:12.520
So she always assumed, because she attracts that kind of guy all the time, guys that go

1374
01:15:12.520 --> 01:15:17.000
immediately sexual with her.

1375
01:15:17.000 --> 01:15:32.360
And so, because of that, hold on one second, you guys, I'm sorry.

1376
01:15:32.360 --> 01:15:38.320
Okay, sorry about that, guys.

1377
01:15:38.320 --> 01:15:42.760
And so she said someone told her, and I've heard this before too, and I bet you've heard

1378
01:15:42.760 --> 01:15:44.200
this before too.

1379
01:15:44.200 --> 01:15:52.880
She said, someone told me that men do this with obese women.

1380
01:15:52.880 --> 01:15:57.080
Like these kind of men, they, you know, they go after obese women.

1381
01:15:57.080 --> 01:16:00.760
Obese women are the women that they do this to, and, you know, this is happening to me

1382
01:16:00.760 --> 01:16:03.000
because I'm overweight.

1383
01:16:03.000 --> 01:16:07.040
And I told her, I said, yeah, I said, I hear what you're saying, and I've heard people

1384
01:16:07.040 --> 01:16:09.800
say that as well, but I don't believe that that's true.

1385
01:16:09.800 --> 01:16:14.960
I said, I know lots of women that are overweight, you know, just as overweight as you are that

1386
01:16:14.960 --> 01:16:16.800
don't have that experience.

1387
01:16:16.800 --> 01:16:23.760
I said, and I'll tell you, I feel like it's not obesity that causes it.

1388
01:16:23.760 --> 01:16:27.520
I believe that it's lack of self-esteem that causes it.

1389
01:16:27.520 --> 01:16:29.000
All right?

1390
01:16:29.000 --> 01:16:34.000
I said, let me see your, let me see your dating profile.

1391
01:16:34.000 --> 01:16:36.840
Let me see what it looks like.

1392
01:16:36.840 --> 01:16:42.320
Because the men that, the men that are swiping on you and dropping your DMs and being real

1393
01:16:42.320 --> 01:16:46.720
nice to you at first, just so that they can turn the conversation sexual to see if they

1394
01:16:46.720 --> 01:16:52.720
can, you know, get, get with you sexually, I said, they're seeing something in your profile

1395
01:16:52.720 --> 01:16:54.880
and it's not just that you're overweight.

1396
01:16:54.880 --> 01:16:58.760
And so sure enough, we found it, the things that she was saying, the pictures that she

1397
01:16:58.760 --> 01:17:06.440
was putting up that were, you know, just they, it showed a lack of a seam for herself.

1398
01:17:06.440 --> 01:17:07.440
Okay.

1399
01:17:07.440 --> 01:17:11.040
And so if you feel like you have are attracting men that just want a booty call, let's look

1400
01:17:11.040 --> 01:17:12.040
at your self-esteem.

1401
01:17:12.040 --> 01:17:13.040
Okay.

1402
01:17:13.040 --> 01:17:15.460
Whether you're skinny or overweight, doesn't matter.

1403
01:17:15.460 --> 01:17:17.920
If you're only attracting that kind of man, let's take a look.

1404
01:17:17.920 --> 01:17:20.120
Let's take a deeper look at our self-esteem.

1405
01:17:20.120 --> 01:17:21.120
Let's pray into it.

1406
01:17:21.120 --> 01:17:26.920
Let's ask Holy Spirit to show us if you have any negative pattern in your life, friends,

1407
01:17:26.920 --> 01:17:28.280
not just that negative pattern.

1408
01:17:28.280 --> 01:17:36.960
I challenge you to ask God why you are attracting something over and over and over again, or

1409
01:17:36.960 --> 01:17:40.480
why you keep doing something over and over again.

1410
01:17:40.480 --> 01:17:42.800
Any negative patterns have a root.

1411
01:17:42.800 --> 01:17:44.920
And so let's get to the bottom of it.

1412
01:17:44.920 --> 01:17:45.920
Okay.

1413
01:17:45.920 --> 01:17:49.020
You guys, these are things, please share this in your group with each other.

1414
01:17:49.020 --> 01:17:51.480
Make a post, say, Hey Jackie, talk about negative patterns.

1415
01:17:51.480 --> 01:17:54.080
I prayed into it and this is what God showed me.

1416
01:17:54.080 --> 01:17:59.080
Share this stuff because your breakthrough creates breakthrough for other people.

1417
01:17:59.080 --> 01:18:01.160
So Susan, we're going to believe that.

1418
01:18:01.160 --> 01:18:07.560
I think that it's great that a man is willing to tell you, Hey, that's not what I'm interested

1419
01:18:07.560 --> 01:18:08.560
in.

1420
01:18:08.560 --> 01:18:15.000
I think that's fair and it causes you not to have to waste any time with them.

1421
01:18:15.000 --> 01:18:19.040
I think that if you've forgiven your brother and you have relationship, me too, same thing

1422
01:18:19.040 --> 01:18:20.040
with me.

1423
01:18:20.040 --> 01:18:21.040
I've forgiven my brother.

1424
01:18:21.040 --> 01:18:22.040
I have relationship with my brother.

1425
01:18:22.040 --> 01:18:24.320
In fact, I'm caring for him now.

1426
01:18:24.320 --> 01:18:31.480
I have been caring for him for years because he got ran over by a car and he is handicapped.

1427
01:18:31.480 --> 01:18:38.980
And so it's funny what God will have us do with the people that have been hurtful with

1428
01:18:38.980 --> 01:18:39.980
us in the past.

1429
01:18:39.980 --> 01:18:42.740
I mean, he was just a kid, he's only 18 months older than me.

1430
01:18:42.740 --> 01:18:47.100
So when the abuse happened, it was mainly stemming from our grandfather and the things

1431
01:18:47.100 --> 01:18:48.900
that he had seen as well.

1432
01:18:48.900 --> 01:18:51.820
So bottom line is we can forgive.

1433
01:18:51.820 --> 01:18:55.200
We need to have boundaries with people that are not safe still.

1434
01:18:55.200 --> 01:18:56.480
We need to have good boundaries.

1435
01:18:56.480 --> 01:19:01.440
You guys will learn more about boundaries in phase two and how to apply those things.

1436
01:19:01.440 --> 01:19:04.280
But just keep moving forward, Susan.

1437
01:19:04.280 --> 01:19:07.480
I believe that God is going to show you that there's a whole different type of man out

1438
01:19:07.480 --> 01:19:12.920
there that's not just willing to wait for marriage, but willing to be part of your healing

1439
01:19:12.920 --> 01:19:15.600
in this area.

1440
01:19:15.600 --> 01:19:16.600
Thank you.

1441
01:19:16.600 --> 01:19:17.600
That's very helpful.

1442
01:19:17.600 --> 01:19:18.600
Thank you.

1443
01:19:18.600 --> 01:19:19.600
You're welcome.

1444
01:19:20.380 --> 01:19:21.380
All right.

1445
01:19:21.380 --> 01:19:27.780
Okay, you guys, word is coming up on our time together.

1446
01:19:27.780 --> 01:19:32.580
So I can take one more question if anyone has one more question.

1447
01:19:32.580 --> 01:19:35.620
I hope you guys, that everyone finds something of value tonight.

1448
01:19:35.620 --> 01:19:39.280
I hope I don't really get to do this that much and I enjoyed it.

1449
01:19:39.280 --> 01:19:44.180
I hope you enjoyed it.

1450
01:19:44.180 --> 01:19:49.200
When you get to phase three, you will be able to have, there's a section called Ask Jackie

1451
01:19:49.500 --> 01:19:53.060
and all the dating questions, because by then you'll be dating and meeting men and you'll

1452
01:19:53.060 --> 01:19:54.060
be doing things.

1453
01:19:54.060 --> 01:19:59.860
And so you can put in your questions and I answer those questions regularly.

1454
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:14.540
a session called Ask Jackie. All right. All right. Okay. You're welcome. Showing up

1455
01:20:14.540 --> 01:20:20.720
transparent and real is the only kind of showing up I know how to do. So might

1456
01:20:20.720 --> 01:20:25.280
have been a little too real at times. All right guys. Well if there's

1457
01:20:25.280 --> 01:20:29.400
no other questions then just have a great night and this is available in

1458
01:20:29.400 --> 01:20:33.320
replay and don't forget show up in your group and share. Make sure that you

1459
01:20:33.320 --> 01:20:36.160
didn't just sign up. You're going to show up all the way into phase two and

1460
01:20:36.160 --> 01:20:39.320
phase three because it's only going to get better and better and better and

1461
01:20:39.320 --> 01:20:44.800
better. I promise you that in 2025 is going to be here of exponential increase

1462
01:20:44.800 --> 01:20:48.840
in success and I want to see you be one of those success stories. So I'll see

1463
01:20:48.840 --> 01:20:52.840
you soon. Bye everyone. Thank you Jackie. You're welcome.