WEBVTT

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All right, welcome ladies. It's so good to be here. So good to see you all. This is your

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live check-in for 1 o'clock Eastern for phase 2. It is February 18th, 2025. For those of

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you that are new and are not sure who I am, my name is Karla Johnson. I'm one of your

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coaches here in phase 2. I have been in Jackie's program now for almost five years. So I kind

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of came in as one of the OGs. I'm a success story. Okay, so I've been through what y'all

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are going through and I have been blessed and fortunate enough to have found my spirit

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mate. So we have been married now a little over, gosh, I got to figure this out, almost

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a year and a half. Yeah, almost a year and a half we've been married. So yes, all right.

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So I've been, I've been in the program, right? I've done what y'all are, what we asked you

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to do. I've messed it up many times, or at least I thought I messed it up. Okay. Cause

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you really can never really mess it up. Okay. It's just about the process. It's about the

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growing. So with that being said, I'm curious how many of you, I think I see like one or

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two new faces. If you are new to phase 2, can you go ahead and raise your avatar hand?

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Little avatar hand. Suzanne. Suzanne's got her avatar hand. I don't see her on camera.

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So Suzanne, if you, or Susanna, if you can come on camera, that'd be awesome. Anybody else?

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Anybody else? Christina, I saw your hand just go up. Perfect. Awesome. Susanna, thank you so

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much for coming on camera. Stephanie, you're not new to phase 2. I've seen you. Have you?

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Yeah. Oh, okay. I, this was my first time. I thought this was my first time with you.

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Maybe not. No, I think, I think like, I think you came on like a week or two ago and I've

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seen you in the group. So you're good. Angela. Yes, you are new. I haven't seen you yet. Awesome.

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Okay, cool. So there's a couple of you. That's good. I love it. It's, it's always a blessing

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to have some new girls come on. So welcome. This is, this is what live check-ins are all about.

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So what we do is we'll go over a quick few housekeeping items. I will pray with, pray a sin,

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and then I will share some activation for you for the week. And then I'll do about 20,

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25 minutes of teaching, and then we'll open it up to questions. Okay. Awesome. Natasha,

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thank you so much. I get it. I know sometimes this is the time of day where we're at work and

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things like that, that we can't always come on camera, but if you can definitely do so.

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I always appreciate it. Honestly, I went into the eight o'clock call a few weeks ago,

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it was a few weeks ago or last week. And I was blown away about how many women were not on

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camera. So I love that. I see most of you on camera. That's good. That's coming out of hiding.

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So yeah. So those of you new, we're going to, we're going to go ahead and dive right in. And

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I'm going to just do a couple of housekeeping items. So

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make sure, this is one thing that I noticed, especially, okay, Melissa got you.

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A couple of things that I've noticed, not just on our one o'clock call, but when I popped into

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the eight o'clock call is that, ladies, please make sure that you're muted while we're teaching.

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This helps. And then, and then don't unmute yourself while we're teaching to like speak

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out because it really distracts us from staying on task. We always do our best to allow about 40

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minutes at the end of the call to ask questions. And honestly, sometimes it goes past 40 minutes.

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So just know that we are going to give that opportunity for you. So if you have a question

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that you're coming to the life for, that you want some answers, you want, you know,

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a little bit of coaching happen, go ahead and put your avatar hand up at any part of the call.

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I mean, at any time, like, honestly, like if any of you have a question that you know,

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you're going to want to ask for your avatar hand up now, this will give us an idea.

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How many of you have questions?

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so that we can allot that time to do so, okay?

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Also, when we do, and again,

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I'll remind this when I open it up for questions.

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When you do have those questions

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and we get to that portion of the call,

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let's do our best to keep those questions

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short, brief, and powerful, and still also,

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I know this is kind of hard to do,

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it sounds probably like an oxymoron,

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like keep it short, brief, and powerful,

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but make sure that we're getting the details that we need.

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Okay, so I know sometimes you're like,

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well, how am I supposed to do that

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if I have to keep it short, brief, and powerful?

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Let's just, again, do our best to do that.

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If you have more than one question,

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hold all your other questions

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until after we've at least gotten through

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everybody's one question first.

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So I've noticed that, not so much on the one o'clock call,

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there's a couple of times that it happens,

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but I noticed on the eight o'clock,

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there were women that were asking questions

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and they were asking like four or five questions.

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And ladies, like that's a lot,

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especially that eight o'clock call

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because there's so many more people on the evening calls

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because it's better for people's schedules.

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It's really, really hard for everyone

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to feel like they have an opportunity

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to get some one-on-one coaching

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and to ask those questions.

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So one question, keep your avatar hand up

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after that one question,

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and then once everybody's gotten through their one question,

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we'll still allow time to, as best as we can,

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to get your second, third, maybe even fourth question

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on that call.

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If not, if we can't get to all your questions,

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remember that you can post your questions

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in Ask a Coach tab on our app,

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and we will respond there, okay?

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And we also know that some of you ladies

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come in with lots of questions, not lots of questions,

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come in with some detail and we're like,

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hey, coming to a live, we wanna unpack this with you.

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And so Ebony and myself do try to do a decent job

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of remembering who that is.

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Like I put it in my notes that I'm always aware

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and Ebony is aware of like who we've asked

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to come to unpack things with.

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So I think Melissa, you've got your hand up

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because I think you were one

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that we wanted to unpack some stuff with.

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So that is good.

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I don't know if there was anybody else.

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Alessandra, yeah, Alessandra, put your avatar hand up

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so that I don't miss that.

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Okay, and then, okay, let's see here.

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Just wanna make sure I'm getting through

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all this housekeeping stuff quickly.

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Continue to stay engaged in the group

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with your posts, your videos.

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Remember those videos, two minutes or less.

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You know, you're coming to lives,

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you're watching the replays.

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Ladies, please, please, please make sure

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that you get to Supernatural Saturday.

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That needs to be a weekly thing.

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Discipline yourself to do that.

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I'm actually going to tie our activation

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in with Supernatural Saturday.

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So keep that in mind.

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And the reason we say this is because

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we see the most breakthrough in this community

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from the women and the men that are actively

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and consistently and intentionally coming

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and engaging in this community, okay?

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So it is super, super important, coming to the lives,

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doing the Supernatural Saturday, showing up,

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you know, asking the questions,

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you know, being vulnerable, all right?

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This is where, like, it is God's design

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for us to do life together, okay?

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And so we are here, I believe, by divine appointment,

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all of you, to connect and walk this journey out together.

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Okay?

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So make sure that you're doing that.

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You're responding to ladies in the group, okay?

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You're offering encouragement.

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You know, we are going to ask that you don't coach them

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and give them advice, but encourage them.

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Lift them up, you know?

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So just make sure that you're doing that

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when you're coming and sharing with us

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about your, you know, dating experiences,

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or maybe it's not even a dating experience.

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Like, let us know what's happening, okay?

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Especially in those dating experiences

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where you're like, this is a no, this is a no,

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this is a no, like, let us know why.

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That's gonna be the best way that we can coach you

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is because then we can kind of recognize patterns

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and do our best to coach you based on what we're seeing.

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Okay?

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But if you're not coming and sharing that stuff,

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like, it's really hard for us,

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even if we have a discernment gift,

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to really see what that looks like, okay?

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So make sure that you're showing up.

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If you are, when you are making posts,

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do your best not to create any posts

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where you're linking other authors, speakers,

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ministries, sermons, anything of that nature,

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because that's not gonna be helpful.

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because we just don't have the capacity

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to vet those things out.

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So if you're gonna post a link,

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like we're probably gonna have to remove it.

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So just know that if that happens, that's why.

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Now I know some people like to post a link to a,

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what am I trying to say?

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Post a link to like a song or something,

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all right, that speaks to them.

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That we totally get, like that's totally fine.

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But it's the,

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all those like other pastors, ministers,

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all those like sermons and stuff.

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We just want to make sure that what we're sharing

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in our last year single community

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is aligned with what we teach you.

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And so we can't always vet those pastors,

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ministers and such.

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And trust me, there's a lot of great things out there.

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There's one person many months ago posted

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a speaker, a pastor, and it's someone that I admire,

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I really glean from.

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But again, like we still had to remove it, okay?

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So hopefully that makes sense, all right?

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Also, please make sure that you are checking back

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on your post to see our replies and responding back to us.

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Sometimes there may not be a pop-up notification in the app.

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So diligently make sure that you're going back

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to your post to see if we've responded, okay?

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I even have to do that where I have responded to you ladies

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and I'm like, I've asked a question.

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I'm like, did they get it?

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Did they respond to me?

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And I'll have, and I don't get a pop-up notification.

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And so I do try to do a good job of going back

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and making sure that I respond to you ladies, okay?

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So if we're all focusing and trying to do that,

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I think that will help things run pretty smoothly.

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All right, I'm seeing some things in the chat.

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Okay, I just realized I have a meeting.

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Okay, got you Angela.

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Okay, you'll get through most of the teaching.

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Angela, if you have a question

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and if we don't get to your question,

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make sure that you post it in the community

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and we'll get to it there, okay?

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Stephanie, okay, yeah.

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Supernatural Saturday is during a Bible study, okay.

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But you watch it, same.

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I have kids, we're about to get into baseball season.

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My son is, I mean, we have tournaments all weekend long.

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So Saturdays are sometimes really difficult

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for me with my kids.

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So I always have to watch the replays.

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I actually just listened to the replay

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from Supernatural Saturday this morning.

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So yes, if you can't make it live, still in replay.

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And the same holds true even to these sessions,

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our live check-ins on Tuesday.

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Ladies, if you can't make it, watch the replay, okay?

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We now have in the app, it's featured.

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So the Supernatural Saturday,

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I know I'm going over on time with my housekeeping.

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I know the Supernatural Saturday,

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it's on the, when you log in, it says featured.

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It's at the very, very top now, okay?

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And I see that 36 of you have watched it.

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One of those 36 is me.

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We have a lot more ladies than 36 in this phase.

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So that tells me that we're not watching it, okay?

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So make sure that you do that.

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Any coach to you to realize or recognize

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that I idealize and build things up in my mind

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and can hold on, okay?

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They don't officially.

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And sometimes I respond to the coach,

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but it shows that I have responded to my,

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yeah, sometimes, yeah, it's tricky.

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So that's why, let's just make sure

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that we're going back to our post

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to make sure that we're getting that.

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Because like I said, those pop-up notifications

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don't always come up.

243
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I don't know why.

244
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We're still working with our developers in that.

245
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And I will tell you, like every week,

246
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I do feel like something gets,

247
00:14:02.840 --> 00:14:04.760
like some gets worked out in the app.

248
00:14:04.760 --> 00:14:07.760
So just know that we're always working on that, okay?

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Two more things here on housekeeping, then we'll move on.

250
00:14:12.880 --> 00:14:16.000
So ladies, remember part of coaching in this program

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is so that you ladies don't come out

252
00:14:19.120 --> 00:14:21.640
the same way you came in, okay?

253
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We are here to grow you in love and it will stretch you.

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All right, Jackie often says that there's a process

255
00:14:31.320 --> 00:14:35.000
to accompany the promise, okay?

256
00:14:35.000 --> 00:14:36.680
So just keep that in mind

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when we're on these coaching calls

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is sometimes we're gonna stretch you and push you

259
00:14:41.040 --> 00:14:44.320
and you're gonna have some resistance to it,

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it's coming out of love.

261
00:14:45.640 --> 00:14:50.640
And again, I've been there, okay?

262
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I have been through this program.

263
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I have received the husband, right?

264
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God gave me that promise

265
00:14:58.240 --> 00:15:00.200
and now I'm on this other side of it.

266
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and I see how this process in last year single

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00:15:05.840 --> 00:15:09.120
and what I was working on while I was single

268
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has helped me in my marriage.

269
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I also see areas where I was resistant

270
00:15:14.880 --> 00:15:17.400
in working through the process in my last year single

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and how it's now showing up in my marriage now.

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Ladies, if we don't work on it when we're single,

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I promise you it's gonna come up in your marriage.

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And now it's not just you, it's another person.

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So sometimes there's resistance there

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because you're two people

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and there's some friction there.

278
00:15:39.280 --> 00:15:43.840
So just know, again, it's going to feel at times

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where it's uncomfortable and you're stretching,

280
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there's a process to it, okay?

281
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So again, hopefully that makes sense, all right?

282
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And again, over the years,

283
00:15:59.360 --> 00:16:02.440
a lot of the ladies that we have seen struggle

284
00:16:02.440 --> 00:16:04.560
in this community are the ones

285
00:16:04.560 --> 00:16:07.960
that are not frequently showing up, okay?

286
00:16:07.960 --> 00:16:12.080
And I say that with like, love, okay?

287
00:16:12.080 --> 00:16:17.080
I have women that are still in from my, when I joined,

288
00:16:17.240 --> 00:16:19.520
they have struggled, they've been resistant

289
00:16:19.520 --> 00:16:22.320
and they're still single.

290
00:16:22.320 --> 00:16:27.320
And it's not because they're not trying at times,

291
00:16:28.760 --> 00:16:31.520
but it's because they stopped showing up,

292
00:16:31.520 --> 00:16:35.440
they wanted to be comfortable in some of that, okay?

293
00:16:35.440 --> 00:16:38.080
And so I've seen it happen

294
00:16:38.080 --> 00:16:40.600
and so that's why we are really, really adamant

295
00:16:40.600 --> 00:16:44.440
about you ladies, just come, show up,

296
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you owe it to yourself, all right?

297
00:16:47.760 --> 00:16:49.720
Okay, let's go ahead and pray

298
00:16:49.720 --> 00:16:51.400
and then let's get into these activations

299
00:16:51.400 --> 00:16:54.960
so we can move it along and get to our teaching

300
00:16:54.960 --> 00:16:56.920
and all y'all's questions,

301
00:16:56.920 --> 00:17:00.520
because that's my favorite part of the call

302
00:17:00.520 --> 00:17:03.120
is getting to coach you ladies, okay?

303
00:17:03.120 --> 00:17:04.760
And helping you process through that.

304
00:17:04.760 --> 00:17:08.240
So Heavenly Father, I just thank you.

305
00:17:08.240 --> 00:17:10.200
I thank you for this time today.

306
00:17:10.200 --> 00:17:14.000
Lord, I thank you for the opportunity

307
00:17:14.000 --> 00:17:15.640
for us to grow in community.

308
00:17:16.880 --> 00:17:20.960
Lord, I know that you don't want us to stay stuck,

309
00:17:21.560 --> 00:17:24.680
that you're helping us scale the counterfeit identities

310
00:17:24.680 --> 00:17:28.280
that we sometimes want to hold tight to.

311
00:17:28.280 --> 00:17:31.000
But Lord, I thank you for the gentle nudging

312
00:17:31.000 --> 00:17:33.720
and pushing that you offer us

313
00:17:34.720 --> 00:17:39.720
so that we can step into who you've already called us to be.

314
00:17:40.960 --> 00:17:43.080
Not just now, in the here and now,

315
00:17:43.080 --> 00:17:48.080
but also who you have called us to be as wives

316
00:17:48.600 --> 00:17:50.760
to our future husbands.

317
00:17:51.520 --> 00:17:55.560
Lord, I pray that you teach us, grow us,

318
00:17:56.840 --> 00:17:58.680
heal us, show us.

319
00:17:59.680 --> 00:18:01.880
And Lord, I just pray that you are with us today

320
00:18:01.880 --> 00:18:06.080
on this call and that you soften our hearts

321
00:18:07.280 --> 00:18:10.000
to what it is that you want to speak to us.

322
00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:11.760
In Jesus' name, amen.

323
00:18:12.680 --> 00:18:15.240
All right, got lots more ladies on.

324
00:18:15.240 --> 00:18:18.040
I know some of you, I think somebody had to say

325
00:18:18.040 --> 00:18:20.480
that they had to come off camera.

326
00:18:21.200 --> 00:18:24.440
Ladies, if you are not on camera, please do that.

327
00:18:24.440 --> 00:18:29.160
If you do have a question that you want to unpack,

328
00:18:29.160 --> 00:18:31.560
go ahead and throw your avatar hand up

329
00:18:31.560 --> 00:18:36.520
so that I know ahead of time about how many people we have.

330
00:18:39.800 --> 00:18:42.800
Okay, awesome.

331
00:18:42.800 --> 00:18:46.360
All right, so ladies, activations this week.

332
00:18:47.560 --> 00:18:49.560
I had something that I thought

333
00:18:49.600 --> 00:18:50.960
was going to be a good activation,

334
00:18:50.960 --> 00:18:52.880
and then I listened to Supernatural Saturday

335
00:18:52.880 --> 00:18:55.560
and the Holy Spirit prompted me to change it.

336
00:18:56.440 --> 00:18:58.880
So I still want to do the activation

337
00:18:58.880 --> 00:19:00.240
that I originally wanted to do,

338
00:19:00.240 --> 00:19:03.600
but I'm going to hold it for another week or two.

339
00:19:03.600 --> 00:19:06.720
And I'm going to be obedient to what I believe

340
00:19:06.720 --> 00:19:09.640
that the Holy Spirit wanted me to activate you ladies in.

341
00:19:11.040 --> 00:19:14.960
And what that is is it has to do with Supernatural Saturday.

342
00:19:14.960 --> 00:19:18.920
Okay, so your activation this week

343
00:19:18.920 --> 00:19:21.000
is to make sure that you watch

344
00:19:21.000 --> 00:19:25.520
this past week's Supernatural Saturday to its entirety.

345
00:19:25.520 --> 00:19:29.360
Okay, don't just listen to the first like 20, 30 minutes.

346
00:19:29.360 --> 00:19:32.400
I want you to listen all the way to the end.

347
00:19:32.400 --> 00:19:35.000
Okay, and then after you do that,

348
00:19:35.000 --> 00:19:38.480
I want you to make a quick two minute video

349
00:19:38.480 --> 00:19:40.160
about what spoke to you.

350
00:19:41.560 --> 00:19:42.840
All right, so write that down.

351
00:19:42.840 --> 00:19:44.000
This is your activation.

352
00:19:44.000 --> 00:19:45.000
I had a lot of ladies

353
00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:47.360
really not do their activations this week.

354
00:19:49.920 --> 00:19:54.320
Part of this process is activating

355
00:19:54.320 --> 00:19:59.320
and being disciplined in this program, okay?

356
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:09.220
Jackie shares in that Supernatural Saturday that discipline for what God has promised

357
00:20:09.220 --> 00:20:12.560
in the process is key.

358
00:20:12.560 --> 00:20:18.920
So in that, I want you also, ladies, so there's a second part to this.

359
00:20:18.920 --> 00:20:24.080
So what spoke to you in that Supernatural Saturday, and then I also want you to share

360
00:20:24.080 --> 00:20:30.340
what is distracting you from what God wants for you.

361
00:20:30.340 --> 00:20:37.080
So for example, y'all are here because you want this to be your last year single.

362
00:20:37.080 --> 00:20:41.200
I'm just pulling this one out because it's the obvious one.

363
00:20:41.200 --> 00:20:46.560
What is keeping you from staying active and engaged in this community?

364
00:20:46.560 --> 00:20:49.560
Because this is supposed to be your last year single, and this community is here to help

365
00:20:49.560 --> 00:20:52.200
you make this your last year single.

366
00:20:52.200 --> 00:20:57.720
So what is distracting you from getting engaged and active in this community?

367
00:20:57.720 --> 00:20:58.880
Now some of you do that.

368
00:20:58.880 --> 00:20:59.880
Okay.

369
00:20:59.880 --> 00:21:00.880
I'm not saying that's for everybody.

370
00:21:00.880 --> 00:21:01.880
Okay.

371
00:21:01.880 --> 00:21:03.600
I'm just giving you an example.

372
00:21:03.600 --> 00:21:08.480
Another example might be, you know, maybe this is, and this is, this is for me, this

373
00:21:08.480 --> 00:21:13.440
is what spoke to me when I was listening to Jackie is, you know, I want this to be my

374
00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:15.760
last year in debt.

375
00:21:15.760 --> 00:21:16.760
Okay.

376
00:21:16.760 --> 00:21:24.160
I, I, when I was single, I was a single mom and I busted my butt, okay.

377
00:21:24.160 --> 00:21:27.840
To provide for myself and my son.

378
00:21:27.840 --> 00:21:38.240
And when I met my husband, I had no debt with the exception of my student loan and my car.

379
00:21:38.240 --> 00:21:39.240
Okay.

380
00:21:39.240 --> 00:21:40.680
Now I wasn't in have mortgage.

381
00:21:40.680 --> 00:21:44.640
I was renting, but I came into my marriage with no debt.

382
00:21:44.640 --> 00:21:51.080
My husband was making really good money and he didn't really have very much debt y'all.

383
00:21:51.080 --> 00:21:54.920
Our first year of marriage has been a doozy.

384
00:21:54.920 --> 00:21:59.440
We have found ourselves like under so much pressure from debt.

385
00:21:59.440 --> 00:22:05.680
My, my husband basically walked away from his job.

386
00:22:05.680 --> 00:22:06.680
I was not working.

387
00:22:06.680 --> 00:22:08.760
Like I moved here and I wasn't working.

388
00:22:08.760 --> 00:22:09.760
Okay.

389
00:22:09.760 --> 00:22:10.800
I left where I was living.

390
00:22:10.800 --> 00:22:12.040
I left my job, all that.

391
00:22:12.040 --> 00:22:13.440
Cause I was going to homeschool our kids.

392
00:22:13.560 --> 00:22:14.560
I did.

393
00:22:14.560 --> 00:22:15.560
I did for the first year.

394
00:22:15.560 --> 00:22:16.560
Okay.

395
00:22:16.560 --> 00:22:18.800
And then all this stuff came up.

396
00:22:18.800 --> 00:22:23.720
My husband had, you know, had to step away from his job to go out on his own, which we

397
00:22:23.720 --> 00:22:27.760
really believe that God, you know, called us to do that.

398
00:22:27.760 --> 00:22:31.120
And then life happens.

399
00:22:31.120 --> 00:22:32.280
Okay.

400
00:22:32.280 --> 00:22:35.040
And so we've been really distracted by that.

401
00:22:35.040 --> 00:22:41.360
And so I'm having to discipline myself and my husband, like we're both having to do this

402
00:22:41.360 --> 00:22:42.560
together.

403
00:22:42.680 --> 00:22:46.800
And so we're believing that this is going to be our last year in debt and we're going

404
00:22:46.800 --> 00:22:48.440
to get back to where we're going.

405
00:22:48.440 --> 00:22:49.440
Okay.

406
00:22:49.440 --> 00:22:51.800
So again, this doesn't just have to apply to last year.

407
00:22:51.800 --> 00:22:55.600
Like this is your last year single, but if there's anything else on top of this being

408
00:22:55.600 --> 00:23:00.720
your last year single, what is distracting you from what you want, like what God wants

409
00:23:00.720 --> 00:23:03.760
to do in you.

410
00:23:03.760 --> 00:23:06.320
Okay.

411
00:23:06.320 --> 00:23:10.360
And then I'm just going to remind you ladies last week.

412
00:23:10.360 --> 00:23:14.040
We gave you the 30 day negativity fast.

413
00:23:14.040 --> 00:23:15.040
Okay.

414
00:23:15.040 --> 00:23:19.000
So how's that going for everybody?

415
00:23:19.000 --> 00:23:22.320
I'm going to put it in the chat.

416
00:23:22.320 --> 00:23:23.320
Okay.

417
00:23:23.320 --> 00:23:24.320
Thank you.

418
00:23:24.320 --> 00:23:25.320
Pearly.

419
00:23:25.320 --> 00:23:26.320
You got a thumbs up.

420
00:23:26.320 --> 00:23:27.320
You're doing pretty good.

421
00:23:27.320 --> 00:23:28.320
That's good.

422
00:23:28.320 --> 00:23:29.320
Awesome.

423
00:23:29.320 --> 00:23:30.320
All right.

424
00:23:30.320 --> 00:23:31.320
I haven't done great about it.

425
00:23:31.320 --> 00:23:32.320
All right.

426
00:23:32.320 --> 00:23:35.280
I had some struggles with my daughter this weekend.

427
00:23:35.280 --> 00:23:37.880
Wasn't always staying very positive.

428
00:23:38.880 --> 00:23:41.880
So yeah, don't forget.

429
00:23:41.880 --> 00:23:42.880
Okay.

430
00:23:42.880 --> 00:23:47.000
And again, when we give you these, it doesn't mean that you have to do them perfectly.

431
00:23:47.000 --> 00:23:50.720
Sometimes that negative, being negative is hard to break.

432
00:23:50.720 --> 00:23:57.360
We want, and again, that goes back to two supernatural Saturdays ago about thinking

433
00:23:57.360 --> 00:23:59.840
about your thoughts.

434
00:23:59.840 --> 00:24:03.720
So that's why we were letting go of those.

435
00:24:03.720 --> 00:24:05.640
We're trying to do a negativity fast.

436
00:24:05.640 --> 00:24:06.640
Okay.

437
00:24:06.640 --> 00:24:07.640
Cool.

438
00:24:08.400 --> 00:24:09.400
All right.

439
00:24:09.400 --> 00:24:10.400
I'm going to get ready and go my teaching.

440
00:24:10.400 --> 00:24:13.400
But before I do that, I'm going to just look through some of these comments.

441
00:24:13.400 --> 00:24:14.400
Okay.

442
00:24:14.400 --> 00:24:15.400
Gotcha.

443
00:24:15.400 --> 00:24:16.400
Gotcha.

444
00:24:16.400 --> 00:24:17.400
Stephanie.

445
00:24:17.400 --> 00:24:18.400
That you're at work.

446
00:24:18.400 --> 00:24:19.400
Perfect.

447
00:24:19.400 --> 00:24:20.400
Ashley, you're new.

448
00:24:20.400 --> 00:24:21.400
Welcome.

449
00:24:21.400 --> 00:24:22.400
Welcome.

450
00:24:22.400 --> 00:24:23.400
Welcome.

451
00:24:23.400 --> 00:24:24.400
Which I don't even see Ashley on here.

452
00:24:24.400 --> 00:24:25.400
Maybe.

453
00:24:25.400 --> 00:24:26.400
Oh, there she is.

454
00:24:26.400 --> 00:24:27.400
She's got perfect hair.

455
00:24:27.400 --> 00:24:28.400
Perfect hair.

456
00:24:28.400 --> 00:24:29.400
Perfect hair.

457
00:24:29.400 --> 00:24:30.400
Perfect hair.

458
00:24:30.400 --> 00:24:31.400
Perfect hair.

459
00:24:31.400 --> 00:24:32.400
Perfect hair.

460
00:24:32.400 --> 00:24:33.400
Perfect hair.

461
00:24:33.400 --> 00:24:34.400
Perfect hair.

462
00:24:34.400 --> 00:24:35.400
Perfect hair.

463
00:24:35.400 --> 00:24:36.400
Perfect hair.

464
00:24:36.400 --> 00:24:37.400
Perfect hair.

465
00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:40.960
She's got pretty red dress on in her, in her picture there.

466
00:24:40.960 --> 00:24:41.960
Okay.

467
00:24:41.960 --> 00:24:47.880
Someone's like, okay, 50, 50, Brittany, you're about 50, 50 on the negativity fast.

468
00:24:47.880 --> 00:24:49.600
I was probably there too.

469
00:24:49.600 --> 00:24:51.120
There was somebody in our community.

470
00:24:51.120 --> 00:24:52.120
She is so good.

471
00:24:52.120 --> 00:24:54.080
I think her name is also Stephanie.

472
00:24:54.080 --> 00:24:55.080
Stephanie Baca.

473
00:24:55.080 --> 00:24:56.080
I don't think it was you, but it might be somebody else.

474
00:24:56.080 --> 00:24:57.080
And if it is you, I apologize.

475
00:24:57.080 --> 00:24:58.080
She's checking in.

476
00:24:58.080 --> 00:24:59.080
She's checking in.

477
00:24:59.080 --> 00:25:00.080
She's checking in.

478
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:01.760
in with us and asking us how we're doing.

479
00:25:00.080 --> 00:25:01.080
She's checking in.

480
00:25:01.080 --> 00:25:02.080
She's checking in.

481
00:25:01.760 --> 00:25:02.840
And I've been responding to her

482
00:25:02.080 --> 00:25:03.080
She's checking in.

483
00:25:02.840 --> 00:25:03.960
because I haven't always been great

484
00:25:03.080 --> 00:25:04.080
She's checking in.

485
00:25:03.960 --> 00:25:05.620
with the negativity fast.

486
00:25:04.080 --> 00:25:05.080
She's checking in.

487
00:25:05.080 --> 00:25:06.080
She's checking in.

488
00:25:05.620 --> 00:25:07.620
But I do appreciate whoever does that.

489
00:25:06.080 --> 00:25:07.080
She's checking in.

490
00:25:09.640 --> 00:25:11.240
It's not been so great, but in general,

491
00:25:11.240 --> 00:25:12.240
okay, gotcha.

492
00:25:12.240 --> 00:25:14.080
Hey, I love honesty.

493
00:25:14.080 --> 00:25:16.600
Okay, let's be honest here.

494
00:25:16.600 --> 00:25:17.800
Be vulnerable.

495
00:25:20.160 --> 00:25:22.560
Yes, your Jesus Cares board.

496
00:25:22.560 --> 00:25:24.000
Yep, I've had to do that.

497
00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:25.560
I always have to pull that out.

498
00:25:26.000 --> 00:25:30.960
Um, okay, I've been catching myself.

499
00:25:30.960 --> 00:25:33.400
Plus I've always told people I'm doing it.

500
00:25:33.400 --> 00:25:35.720
So that good, yeah, hold yourself accountable.

501
00:25:35.720 --> 00:25:38.320
Tell people if you're doing a negativity fast,

502
00:25:38.320 --> 00:25:40.720
especially people you're close to.

503
00:25:40.720 --> 00:25:42.520
You know, your close, good friends.

504
00:25:42.520 --> 00:25:44.680
And I mean, I'm talking about your ladies.

505
00:25:44.680 --> 00:25:46.360
If y'all have best friends

506
00:25:46.360 --> 00:25:48.360
that are not gonna get real with you

507
00:25:49.260 --> 00:25:51.560
and say some things that you don't wanna hear,

508
00:25:52.800 --> 00:25:54.640
let's get you some new friends.

509
00:25:54.640 --> 00:25:56.760
Find some friends here in this community.

510
00:25:56.760 --> 00:25:57.600
All right?

511
00:25:58.840 --> 00:26:00.920
Like, I love my best friend because you know what?

512
00:26:00.920 --> 00:26:02.560
Sometimes she's like, Carla, do you wanna be honest

513
00:26:02.560 --> 00:26:03.400
with you?

514
00:26:03.400 --> 00:26:04.240
I'm like, well, of course.

515
00:26:04.240 --> 00:26:05.680
And she'll tell me things I don't wanna hear,

516
00:26:05.680 --> 00:26:09.060
but she tells me what I need to hear.

517
00:26:09.060 --> 00:26:11.520
She does it in a loving way, right?

518
00:26:11.520 --> 00:26:12.840
It's important to have friends that do that.

519
00:26:12.840 --> 00:26:15.720
So yeah, talk to your friends that, you know,

520
00:26:15.720 --> 00:26:17.280
hey, I'm doing a negativity fast.

521
00:26:17.280 --> 00:26:20.680
You find me being negative, like rip the Band-Aid off.

522
00:26:20.680 --> 00:26:23.800
You know, smack my face a little bit.

523
00:26:23.800 --> 00:26:25.960
Let me know, all right?

524
00:26:27.960 --> 00:26:28.800
Yes, I love that.

525
00:26:28.800 --> 00:26:31.760
Whenever you wanna think negative,

526
00:26:31.760 --> 00:26:34.400
you speak the positive, okay?

527
00:26:34.400 --> 00:26:35.700
So, so good.

528
00:26:37.680 --> 00:26:39.200
I've been using new roots.

529
00:26:39.200 --> 00:26:42.920
Yes, positive roots, absolutely.

530
00:26:42.920 --> 00:26:45.560
So good, so good, so good, so good.

531
00:26:46.680 --> 00:26:48.040
And being mindful of our thoughts.

532
00:26:48.040 --> 00:26:49.840
All right, perfect, love it.

533
00:26:49.840 --> 00:26:52.320
All right, ladies, let's go ahead

534
00:26:52.320 --> 00:26:54.560
and jump into our teaching of this week.

535
00:26:54.560 --> 00:26:59.520
So for those of you that are new to phase two each week,

536
00:26:59.520 --> 00:27:02.160
we kind of just give a little bit of a highlight

537
00:27:02.160 --> 00:27:05.420
and kind of talk on one of the videos

538
00:27:05.420 --> 00:27:08.200
that's in your coursework.

539
00:27:08.200 --> 00:27:10.200
So there's five videos.

540
00:27:10.200 --> 00:27:11.320
There's the kickoff video,

541
00:27:11.320 --> 00:27:14.080
but then there's four teaching videos.

542
00:27:14.080 --> 00:27:15.560
And so you've got your Dating 101.

543
00:27:15.560 --> 00:27:16.760
You've got the Divine Feminine,

544
00:27:16.760 --> 00:27:19.720
which is what we discussed a little bit last week

545
00:27:19.720 --> 00:27:20.720
or touched on.

546
00:27:20.720 --> 00:27:23.040
And then this week is gonna be Online Dating.

547
00:27:23.040 --> 00:27:25.520
And so I'm just gonna kind of give a little,

548
00:27:25.520 --> 00:27:28.320
you know, bits and pieces of Online Dating.

549
00:27:28.320 --> 00:27:29.280
And then once I do that,

550
00:27:29.280 --> 00:27:31.840
we'll open it up to y'all's questions, okay?

551
00:27:31.840 --> 00:27:33.720
So I got three ladies out there right now

552
00:27:33.720 --> 00:27:36.120
that have questions that they wanna unpack.

553
00:27:36.120 --> 00:27:37.920
I know there's more.

554
00:27:38.880 --> 00:27:42.040
So if you know that you need to ask a question,

555
00:27:42.040 --> 00:27:44.280
put your avatar hand up, okay?

556
00:27:44.280 --> 00:27:46.520
Don't be shy, ladies, all right?

557
00:27:47.560 --> 00:27:49.640
Okay, so Online Dating.

558
00:27:49.640 --> 00:27:53.080
I'm just gonna give you like kind of the top 10,

559
00:27:53.080 --> 00:27:55.360
and then I'm gonna touch on maybe one or two more things,

560
00:27:55.360 --> 00:27:57.040
okay?

561
00:27:57.040 --> 00:27:58.080
So Online Dating.

562
00:27:58.080 --> 00:28:00.240
Now, mind you, I know some of you are like,

563
00:28:00.240 --> 00:28:01.840
I'm not yet dating.

564
00:28:01.840 --> 00:28:04.560
That's okay, all right?

565
00:28:04.560 --> 00:28:07.160
Put this, like, make notes, make mental notes,

566
00:28:07.160 --> 00:28:09.600
or you're like, oh, I don't wanna do Online Dating.

567
00:28:09.600 --> 00:28:11.240
Again, I'm gonna, you know,

568
00:28:11.240 --> 00:28:13.480
ask you to just hold your face

569
00:28:13.480 --> 00:28:17.960
for the idea of possibly doing it, okay?

570
00:28:18.960 --> 00:28:21.560
And just keep that in mind, cool?

571
00:28:22.640 --> 00:28:24.800
All right, so number one.

572
00:28:26.160 --> 00:28:27.920
You're gonna do Online Dating.

573
00:28:27.920 --> 00:28:29.560
You need to make sure that you have

574
00:28:29.560 --> 00:28:31.520
a fresh attitude about it.

575
00:28:31.520 --> 00:28:34.320
If you don't have a fresh attitude about it,

576
00:28:34.320 --> 00:28:37.840
you're probably not ready to go for it yet, all right?

577
00:28:37.840 --> 00:28:41.240
So go in with a fresh attitude or don't do it at all,

578
00:28:41.240 --> 00:28:42.080
all right?

579
00:28:42.080 --> 00:28:45.160
I know we always are like, let's get yourself out there,

580
00:28:45.160 --> 00:28:46.880
but you really have to have the mindset.

581
00:28:47.200 --> 00:28:49.520
If you don't have the mindset,

582
00:28:49.520 --> 00:28:53.640
then it's something that we need to work through, okay?

583
00:28:54.880 --> 00:28:58.760
So I know there's probably a few ladies maybe in replay

584
00:28:58.760 --> 00:29:00.720
that are watching this,

585
00:29:00.720 --> 00:29:03.560
and y'all don't have a great attitude about Online Dating.

586
00:29:03.560 --> 00:29:06.440
We're like, let's uncover that.

587
00:29:06.440 --> 00:29:08.560
Let's go to the Lord with that.

588
00:29:08.560 --> 00:29:11.760
What's holding you back, all right?

589
00:29:11.760 --> 00:29:13.640
How can we shift your attitude?

590
00:29:13.640 --> 00:29:16.280
How can we get that fresh perspective?

591
00:29:16.280 --> 00:29:17.560
Okay, that's what we're here for.

592
00:29:17.560 --> 00:29:20.760
Come to us, let us know what's going on, okay?

593
00:29:20.760 --> 00:29:23.560
When you go onto Online Dating, number two,

594
00:29:24.480 --> 00:29:27.640
go in, actually date.

595
00:29:30.200 --> 00:29:33.440
Go in to get to know yourself.

596
00:29:34.680 --> 00:29:39.600
Go in it to practice your dating skills, okay?

597
00:29:40.960 --> 00:29:42.320
Some of you go in there,

598
00:29:42.320 --> 00:29:43.920
and then you start talking to people,

599
00:29:43.920 --> 00:29:44.920
and then you're just sitting here

600
00:29:45.840 --> 00:29:48.440
like digital relationships,

601
00:29:48.440 --> 00:29:53.200
and you're not ready to actually go and date in real life,

602
00:29:54.040 --> 00:29:54.880
okay?

603
00:29:54.880 --> 00:29:56.840
That's not what Online Dating's for.

604
00:29:56.840 --> 00:30:00.160
It's a way for you to connect and to find people.

605
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:01.920
or people to find you,

606
00:30:01.920 --> 00:30:06.680
and then let's actually start doing dates, okay?

607
00:30:09.120 --> 00:30:12.480
You might wanna do a video chat before you jump in

608
00:30:12.480 --> 00:30:16.120
and have like a live date, that's totally fine.

609
00:30:16.120 --> 00:30:18.480
But we don't wanna stay here on the digital

610
00:30:18.480 --> 00:30:19.980
for a super long time.

611
00:30:19.980 --> 00:30:22.800
One week, let's drop the hanky.

612
00:30:22.800 --> 00:30:24.400
If the guys aren't asking you out,

613
00:30:24.400 --> 00:30:25.680
like, hey, I wanna get to know you better,

614
00:30:25.680 --> 00:30:27.680
let's go meet for coffee, let's go bowling,

615
00:30:27.680 --> 00:30:29.520
let's do this.

616
00:30:29.560 --> 00:30:31.400
Ladies, it's okay for you to just say,

617
00:30:31.400 --> 00:30:36.400
hey, I really think you're a cool guy.

618
00:30:36.560 --> 00:30:38.880
Why don't we go ahead and set a time

619
00:30:38.880 --> 00:30:40.240
to get to know each other?

620
00:30:40.240 --> 00:30:41.560
Let's do a Zoom call.

621
00:30:41.560 --> 00:30:43.420
Let's do a video chat.

622
00:30:43.420 --> 00:30:44.720
Let's go grab coffee.

623
00:30:44.720 --> 00:30:46.800
I mean, I don't love the coffee dates.

624
00:30:46.800 --> 00:30:47.640
I really don't,

625
00:30:47.640 --> 00:30:49.400
because then you feel like you're sitting in an interview.

626
00:30:49.400 --> 00:30:51.480
I know Jackie discourages you all

627
00:30:51.480 --> 00:30:53.440
from going on the coffee dates.

628
00:30:53.440 --> 00:30:57.000
I understand, like I still went on coffee dates,

629
00:30:57.000 --> 00:30:59.080
because sometimes it's just the easiest thing to do.

630
00:30:59.640 --> 00:31:00.480
It's quick, it's easy.

631
00:31:00.480 --> 00:31:02.640
But again, like, get creative with it.

632
00:31:02.640 --> 00:31:05.960
Don't just always revert to the coffee date, you know?

633
00:31:05.960 --> 00:31:09.000
If you can't get around it, understandable.

634
00:31:09.000 --> 00:31:11.980
Try to go and do something fun, all right?

635
00:31:13.880 --> 00:31:15.240
Go bowling.

636
00:31:15.240 --> 00:31:17.120
I mean, I also did walks,

637
00:31:17.120 --> 00:31:18.320
because you can actually talk to people,

638
00:31:18.320 --> 00:31:20.600
but then you're actually doing something active.

639
00:31:20.600 --> 00:31:22.800
Those of you that have dogs,

640
00:31:22.800 --> 00:31:24.680
if you meet a guy that has a dog,

641
00:31:24.680 --> 00:31:27.420
take your dogs to the dog park, right?

642
00:31:30.080 --> 00:31:31.840
All right, so try to,

643
00:31:31.840 --> 00:31:34.440
just try to get creative with that, all right?

644
00:31:35.400 --> 00:31:38.080
But let's get on some dates, all right?

645
00:31:38.080 --> 00:31:40.120
Gonna be online dating, get on the date.

646
00:31:41.700 --> 00:31:46.480
Number three, be willing to deal with the scammers,

647
00:31:46.480 --> 00:31:49.400
the ghosters, the wishy-washy men.

648
00:31:49.400 --> 00:31:51.500
Just pass them by, ladies.

649
00:31:51.500 --> 00:31:55.120
It's not your job to teach them how to date.

650
00:31:55.120 --> 00:31:58.140
It's not your job to share the gospel with them.

651
00:31:58.140 --> 00:32:02.260
It's, or to tell them what they're doing wrong,

652
00:32:03.200 --> 00:32:04.900
or to date the way that you date.

653
00:32:06.300 --> 00:32:07.660
It's not your job.

654
00:32:07.660 --> 00:32:09.780
It's also not your job to teach them

655
00:32:09.780 --> 00:32:11.140
how to do their heart work.

656
00:32:12.620 --> 00:32:14.460
I know we are like, oh, this is like,

657
00:32:14.460 --> 00:32:17.420
it blows our mind because we're getting so much from it.

658
00:32:17.420 --> 00:32:20.420
We're like, oh, like, this is a new way of dating,

659
00:32:20.420 --> 00:32:22.780
and it's this date for discovery, you know?

660
00:32:22.780 --> 00:32:24.300
Some of these guys are not gonna get it,

661
00:32:24.300 --> 00:32:26.780
and it's not your job to teach it to them, ladies.

662
00:32:28.260 --> 00:32:30.100
And you're gonna come across some scammers.

663
00:32:30.100 --> 00:32:33.220
You're gonna come across the guys that are ghosting.

664
00:32:33.220 --> 00:32:35.340
You're gonna come across guys that are wishy-washy.

665
00:32:35.340 --> 00:32:39.420
They all have, like, we all have yellow flags, all right?

666
00:32:39.420 --> 00:32:41.400
And I will also say, ladies,

667
00:32:41.400 --> 00:32:43.460
you want some of these guys to ghost you.

668
00:32:44.940 --> 00:32:45.780
You do.

669
00:32:46.700 --> 00:32:48.820
I know, I've seen, I don't know if I've seen it.

670
00:32:48.820 --> 00:32:50.180
I think I've seen it in phase two.

671
00:32:50.180 --> 00:32:51.900
I think I've also been seeing it in phase three

672
00:32:51.900 --> 00:32:53.820
a little bit, because I do sometimes pop in there

673
00:32:53.820 --> 00:32:57.160
to see how my old phase two ladies are doing

674
00:32:57.160 --> 00:32:58.960
that have moved on to phase three.

675
00:32:59.960 --> 00:33:00.880
But I do see this.

676
00:33:00.880 --> 00:33:03.080
Like, some women get super discouraged

677
00:33:03.080 --> 00:33:04.340
when they get ghosted.

678
00:33:05.840 --> 00:33:08.780
I think some of you ladies, I don't know who it was,

679
00:33:08.780 --> 00:33:11.400
recently, might've posted something

680
00:33:11.400 --> 00:33:12.880
how they're getting discouraged with men

681
00:33:12.880 --> 00:33:15.320
that wanna have the sex conversations.

682
00:33:15.320 --> 00:33:17.360
They're sexualizing conversations.

683
00:33:17.360 --> 00:33:19.960
And when you share with them your position

684
00:33:19.960 --> 00:33:22.360
of, you know, the covenant of marriage

685
00:33:22.360 --> 00:33:25.360
and withholding and abstaining from sexual relationship

686
00:33:25.360 --> 00:33:26.800
outside of marriage,

687
00:33:28.160 --> 00:33:30.600
y'all are getting ghosted by these guys.

688
00:33:30.600 --> 00:33:32.500
And then you guys are like, oh, like, there's,

689
00:33:32.500 --> 00:33:33.840
you know, I'm sad.

690
00:33:33.840 --> 00:33:35.440
No, be excited.

691
00:33:36.360 --> 00:33:38.000
You just got holy ghosted.

692
00:33:40.040 --> 00:33:40.880
Okay?

693
00:33:40.880 --> 00:33:42.800
Holy ghosted.

694
00:33:42.800 --> 00:33:44.640
God just protected you from men

695
00:33:44.640 --> 00:33:47.400
that do not align with that belief.

696
00:33:47.400 --> 00:33:49.240
And they've removed themselves.

697
00:33:49.240 --> 00:33:51.840
Holy Spirit has allowed them to remove themselves.

698
00:33:51.840 --> 00:33:53.360
You don't want

699
00:33:55.720 --> 00:33:57.640
to continue to engage with men

700
00:33:57.640 --> 00:33:59.900
that are not gonna be in alignment with that.

701
00:34:00.840 --> 00:34:01.800
Okay?

702
00:34:01.800 --> 00:34:03.480
Now, we can teach you ways

703
00:34:03.480 --> 00:34:06.700
of how to navigate those conversations with men.

704
00:34:07.640 --> 00:34:09.860
Because I know you ladies, again,

705
00:34:09.860 --> 00:34:12.440
be willing to deal with some guys

706
00:34:12.440 --> 00:34:15.040
that might not understand this.

707
00:34:15.040 --> 00:34:18.179
And we're here to coach you through what that looks like.

708
00:34:19.320 --> 00:34:22.520
How to redirect those types of conversations.

709
00:34:22.520 --> 00:34:27.080
How to hold boundaries with those kinds of conversations.

710
00:34:27.080 --> 00:34:28.679
Okay?

711
00:34:28.679 --> 00:34:30.280
Just because a guy might, you know,

712
00:34:30.280 --> 00:34:33.320
bring up like what your position is on that,

713
00:34:33.320 --> 00:34:34.800
you know, it doesn't mean he,

714
00:34:34.800 --> 00:34:37.560
it doesn't always mean that they're,

715
00:34:37.560 --> 00:34:40.199
like, looking to have premarital sex.

716
00:34:40.199 --> 00:34:41.440
Okay?

717
00:34:41.440 --> 00:34:43.679
Now, I'm not saying that they don't,

718
00:34:43.679 --> 00:34:45.580
because there are guys that do that,

719
00:34:45.580 --> 00:34:49.520
but we also have to break this idea that they're,

720
00:34:49.520 --> 00:34:51.040
because I'm gonna just say this.

721
00:34:51.080 --> 00:34:53.120
I know some of y'all are like,

722
00:34:53.120 --> 00:34:54.320
but that's all men want.

723
00:34:57.160 --> 00:34:58.960
It's all men want, right?

724
00:34:58.960 --> 00:35:00.320
And now we're sitting here.

725
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.560
We're aligning with a lie that all men want is sex.

726
00:35:05.840 --> 00:35:08.600
Ladies, not all of them do.

727
00:35:08.600 --> 00:35:13.560
I have, there's so many women in this community that are now married and

728
00:35:13.600 --> 00:35:18.920
were married to men that held that sacred.

729
00:35:20.360 --> 00:35:26.040
Believe it or not, like even my husband, he was the one that was like, look, I'm

730
00:35:26.040 --> 00:35:28.120
not interested in having sex outside of marriage.

731
00:35:28.120 --> 00:35:35.800
I was like, well, that's such a relief, you know, but like, but they're out there.

732
00:35:35.960 --> 00:35:36.640
Okay.

733
00:35:37.240 --> 00:35:41.360
So don't align with this lie that there are no good men out there that are

734
00:35:41.360 --> 00:35:44.280
not going to withstain from that.

735
00:35:45.640 --> 00:35:46.360
Okay.

736
00:35:48.600 --> 00:35:51.760
Does it mean that it's not going to be hard to withstand from it, especially

737
00:35:51.760 --> 00:35:55.880
when you find yourself in a relationship with somebody, once you get to level

738
00:35:55.880 --> 00:36:00.360
three and you start having like romantic, like handholding and all that kind of

739
00:36:00.360 --> 00:36:02.000
stuff, and you're really getting close.

740
00:36:02.360 --> 00:36:02.560
Yeah.

741
00:36:02.560 --> 00:36:09.720
It's going to be difficult, but you, again, like it's important to know that

742
00:36:09.720 --> 00:36:14.280
there are men out there that will respect those boundaries and do that.

743
00:36:14.280 --> 00:36:15.760
And that's what we're here to help you with.

744
00:36:15.880 --> 00:36:16.400
Okay.

745
00:36:16.440 --> 00:36:18.480
We're here to help you navigate any of that.

746
00:36:19.200 --> 00:36:19.480
All right.

747
00:36:19.480 --> 00:36:22.720
Number four, online dating, your profile.

748
00:36:22.840 --> 00:36:23.480
Okay.

749
00:36:23.800 --> 00:36:27.000
Pick your best photos, closeup, full links.

750
00:36:27.360 --> 00:36:30.120
Don't put other people in your photos.

751
00:36:31.200 --> 00:36:31.880
Okay.

752
00:36:31.960 --> 00:36:35.200
Don't cover your face with sunglasses and make sure that you're posting

753
00:36:35.200 --> 00:36:36.640
pictures of you that are smiling.

754
00:36:37.200 --> 00:36:39.120
Guys like a nice smile.

755
00:36:39.720 --> 00:36:41.280
They also want to see your eyes.

756
00:36:41.480 --> 00:36:44.720
They also don't want to see all your best friends in a photo.

757
00:36:44.800 --> 00:36:45.440
Okay.

758
00:36:47.680 --> 00:36:50.160
Ladies, it's okay.

759
00:36:50.160 --> 00:36:52.160
Maybe if you have one, okay.

760
00:36:52.840 --> 00:36:57.960
But let's make sure that we really showcase ourselves.

761
00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:03.560
Sometimes what happens, and this happened to me when I was online dating and I'd

762
00:37:03.560 --> 00:37:08.600
see guys and they had groups of photos of other guys, like I'll admit it.

763
00:37:08.600 --> 00:37:11.200
Sometimes I was looking at their friends because their friends were cute.

764
00:37:12.680 --> 00:37:13.760
And I got distracted.

765
00:37:15.120 --> 00:37:18.120
Ladies, don't put pictures of your friends in there that they

766
00:37:18.120 --> 00:37:19.120
can get distracted by.

767
00:37:19.880 --> 00:37:20.520
All right.

768
00:37:22.600 --> 00:37:23.680
Showcase yourself.

769
00:37:24.600 --> 00:37:25.040
All right.

770
00:37:25.240 --> 00:37:27.080
Be positive about who you are.

771
00:37:27.080 --> 00:37:29.120
So again, there goes, don't be negative.

772
00:37:30.440 --> 00:37:31.680
Be positive about you.

773
00:37:32.200 --> 00:37:33.280
What do you like to do?

774
00:37:33.280 --> 00:37:34.520
What are you looking for?

775
00:37:34.520 --> 00:37:39.000
What qualities and attributes do you find attractive?

776
00:37:40.480 --> 00:37:45.400
And then fill all the places on those profiles as best as you can.

777
00:37:45.440 --> 00:37:48.400
I know there's things that like photos, make sure you're putting photos,

778
00:37:48.440 --> 00:37:49.400
answering the questions.

779
00:37:49.400 --> 00:37:52.280
If there's a place to add a video, do your part.

780
00:37:52.320 --> 00:37:52.760
Okay.

781
00:37:52.800 --> 00:37:57.040
It doesn't mean like, again, I know some guys don't do it, but just do your part.

782
00:37:59.040 --> 00:37:59.520
Yes.

783
00:37:59.520 --> 00:38:05.920
Brittany, sometimes your friends are more attractive and you're like, Hey, like I

784
00:38:05.920 --> 00:38:08.400
want to get to know you, but I really want to get to know your friend more.

785
00:38:12.000 --> 00:38:12.560
All right.

786
00:38:13.320 --> 00:38:17.520
Number five, online dating focus on one or two sites at a time.

787
00:38:17.520 --> 00:38:18.920
Maybe a third one.

788
00:38:19.080 --> 00:38:21.200
Try one free one and one paid one.

789
00:38:22.120 --> 00:38:23.680
Don't overwhelm yourself, ladies.

790
00:38:24.320 --> 00:38:24.920
Okay.

791
00:38:26.720 --> 00:38:31.120
Number six, make sure that you only text for about a week, text mess, like

792
00:38:31.120 --> 00:38:34.760
you're messaging on the app or texting, whatever, make sure you're only doing

793
00:38:34.760 --> 00:38:36.520
that for about a week and then start.

794
00:38:36.520 --> 00:38:39.440
Let's, let's make sure that again, like I said, and number two, like

795
00:38:39.440 --> 00:38:40.880
you actually want to go and date.

796
00:38:41.720 --> 00:38:46.280
So set up the, set up the video, zoom dates, set up, you know, phone

797
00:38:46.280 --> 00:38:49.960
call, um, or live date, not always.

798
00:38:49.960 --> 00:38:53.080
I mean, the phone call is good for like a quick, but then make

799
00:38:53.080 --> 00:38:54.400
sure you get in front of them.

800
00:38:55.400 --> 00:38:55.720
All right.

801
00:38:55.720 --> 00:38:58.560
If you're long distance, the zoom, the video chat is great.

802
00:38:58.560 --> 00:39:01.080
I mean, if you're an hour, two hours away, do a video.

803
00:39:01.800 --> 00:39:05.960
Um, you know, you want to see how they're interacting with you.

804
00:39:07.040 --> 00:39:07.600
All right.

805
00:39:07.600 --> 00:39:08.920
And then get on that live date.

806
00:39:09.360 --> 00:39:11.160
As long as it wasn't awful.

807
00:39:11.200 --> 00:39:16.120
If you have a video date first, as long as it wasn't like excruciating.

808
00:39:16.960 --> 00:39:18.320
Go on the live date.

809
00:39:19.200 --> 00:39:19.880
Okay.

810
00:39:21.120 --> 00:39:24.520
Um, number seven, I'm going to tell you some top things to say as you're

811
00:39:24.520 --> 00:39:26.080
getting to know people on the apps.

812
00:39:26.080 --> 00:39:26.720
Okay.

813
00:39:27.200 --> 00:39:31.520
Um, you know, ask them like, what are you looking, are you

814
00:39:31.520 --> 00:39:32.880
looking to date in real life?

815
00:39:35.600 --> 00:39:41.040
Um, if they ask you certain questions, especially maybe if they're questions

816
00:39:41.040 --> 00:39:45.240
that are, have some more depth into them say, Hey, those are great questions for

817
00:39:45.240 --> 00:39:46.120
a live chat.

818
00:39:46.120 --> 00:39:49.520
So we can hear like each other's tone and inflection.

819
00:39:49.520 --> 00:39:52.000
And, you know, why don't we set that up?

820
00:39:52.040 --> 00:39:53.440
Like these are great questions.

821
00:39:53.440 --> 00:39:54.080
I'd love to answer.

822
00:39:54.080 --> 00:39:58.040
Why don't we do it, you know, face to face on a, on a video call, you know,

823
00:39:58.040 --> 00:39:59.960
maybe ask them what things.

824
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.800
do you do that take up your time that matter to you?

825
00:40:02.800 --> 00:40:05.080
That's a good question, ladies.

826
00:40:05.080 --> 00:40:09.080
You get an idea of what's important to them,

827
00:40:09.080 --> 00:40:13.160
and be willing to share what's important to you and what you

828
00:40:13.160 --> 00:40:16.880
do that takes up your time that matters to you.

829
00:40:16.880 --> 00:40:20.680
Ladies, this is where sometimes that organic conversation

830
00:40:20.680 --> 00:40:25.000
about how your faith is important to you can come into play.

831
00:40:25.440 --> 00:40:28.880
You're just sharing how your faith is important to you.

832
00:40:28.880 --> 00:40:32.120
Do not expect them to sit there and share their faith to you.

833
00:40:32.120 --> 00:40:34.400
Don't hear what I'm not saying,

834
00:40:34.400 --> 00:40:36.720
because some of you all want to sit and probe and you

835
00:40:36.720 --> 00:40:39.040
want to know what their faith walk is.

836
00:40:39.040 --> 00:40:41.760
It's not always going to happen.

837
00:40:41.960 --> 00:40:45.960
I can get into that a little bit later too about

838
00:40:45.960 --> 00:40:51.800
some spiritual intimacy stuff that sometimes can cloud things.

839
00:40:51.800 --> 00:40:55.400
Next thing, top thing to say,

840
00:40:55.400 --> 00:41:01.640
asking them what things do they do to decompress or relax or restore.

841
00:41:01.640 --> 00:41:05.840
That will tell you whether or not they're an introvert or an extrovert.

842
00:41:05.840 --> 00:41:09.120
Do they go out and spend time around people to

843
00:41:09.120 --> 00:41:13.960
recharge or do they need quiet time with themselves?

844
00:41:13.960 --> 00:41:16.760
What does that look like for them?

845
00:41:16.760 --> 00:41:20.840
How do they refresh themselves?

846
00:41:20.840 --> 00:41:24.840
Again, ladies, be able to share the same thing back.

847
00:41:24.880 --> 00:41:27.040
Some of you ladies might be like,

848
00:41:27.040 --> 00:41:29.760
I don't know what I do because I don't do it.

849
00:41:29.760 --> 00:41:36.640
Some of you ladies might not practice that self-care and refreshing yourselves either.

850
00:41:36.640 --> 00:41:39.760
Something to think about. I don't know why I just said that.

851
00:41:39.760 --> 00:41:42.840
Somebody probably needed to hear it because they're not taking care of themselves.

852
00:41:42.840 --> 00:41:45.440
They're not giving themselves some self-care.

853
00:41:46.840 --> 00:41:49.600
Another thing, top things to say,

854
00:41:49.600 --> 00:41:52.160
stick to the present-day conversations.

855
00:41:52.480 --> 00:41:56.120
What they're wanting to do in the next year or two.

856
00:41:56.120 --> 00:41:58.840
We're not sitting here prolonging things like,

857
00:41:58.840 --> 00:42:00.360
oh, what do you want to do in 10 years?

858
00:42:00.360 --> 00:42:03.920
Where do you see yourself? Just stick to the here and now.

859
00:42:03.920 --> 00:42:07.600
Then as you get into those days,

860
00:42:07.600 --> 00:42:11.080
then you can have those types of conversations that things flow.

861
00:42:11.080 --> 00:42:13.120
Important thing to remember,

862
00:42:13.120 --> 00:42:15.440
this is the last thing I'm going to share on this number 7,

863
00:42:15.440 --> 00:42:18.560
is do not overshare about your trauma,

864
00:42:18.560 --> 00:42:22.480
your drama, your ex-situation, your triggers.

865
00:42:22.480 --> 00:42:27.360
Don't go too deep in the faith talk or the sex talk.

866
00:42:27.360 --> 00:42:31.760
Here's the thing, is sometimes we're not going to have that,

867
00:42:31.760 --> 00:42:34.800
but then they want to bring those conversations up.

868
00:42:34.800 --> 00:42:37.960
That happened to me. My husband did that.

869
00:42:37.960 --> 00:42:41.640
My husband asked some pretty deep questions and I was like,

870
00:42:41.640 --> 00:42:43.720
I'm ready to answer those.

871
00:42:43.720 --> 00:42:46.120
It doesn't mean that he was a bad guy.

872
00:42:46.120 --> 00:42:47.800
Obviously, I married him.

873
00:42:47.800 --> 00:42:50.200
Ladies, when these guys go in deep,

874
00:42:50.200 --> 00:42:54.680
it's just because they don't sometimes know they're not supposed to do that.

875
00:42:54.680 --> 00:43:00.120
Again, if they are asking deep questions or they're oversharing,

876
00:43:00.120 --> 00:43:01.600
there's ways of saying, hey,

877
00:43:01.600 --> 00:43:06.640
that's a great question for us to tackle once we've gotten to know each other more.

878
00:43:06.880 --> 00:43:10.160
Or if they're oversharing, say, wow,

879
00:43:10.160 --> 00:43:12.200
I appreciate you being vulnerable with me

880
00:43:12.200 --> 00:43:16.320
or really disclosing some of that information with me.

881
00:43:16.320 --> 00:43:20.640
Then redirect and ask more of a light-hearted question.

882
00:43:20.640 --> 00:43:23.760
Kind of redirect when they go there.

883
00:43:23.760 --> 00:43:29.880
Again, if it continues to come up as you're on 1, 2, 3 dates,

884
00:43:29.880 --> 00:43:31.960
again, give us details,

885
00:43:31.960 --> 00:43:36.320
let us know what's happening and we can help you navigate that.

886
00:43:36.880 --> 00:43:39.200
Just a couple more things.

887
00:43:39.200 --> 00:43:46.280
Number 8, be open to long distance only if you can afford to do it.

888
00:43:46.320 --> 00:43:49.400
You're willing to relocate or the person that you're

889
00:43:49.400 --> 00:43:54.040
talking to has expressed that they're willing to relocate.

890
00:43:54.760 --> 00:43:58.160
For the longest time, I was not willing to relocate,

891
00:43:58.160 --> 00:44:00.040
so I just didn't entertain that.

892
00:44:00.040 --> 00:44:01.920
Then finally, I was like, all right, Lord,

893
00:44:01.920 --> 00:44:03.440
I guess if I need to relocate,

894
00:44:03.440 --> 00:44:04.720
you're going to make it happen.

895
00:44:04.720 --> 00:44:07.120
Then that's when my husband came into play.

896
00:44:07.120 --> 00:44:09.160
Because he lived in Texas, I lived in Florida.

897
00:44:09.160 --> 00:44:12.320
Ladies, I was not going to leave Florida.

898
00:44:12.320 --> 00:44:15.480
Guess what? I don't live in Florida anymore.

899
00:44:15.520 --> 00:44:17.600
I live in Texas.

900
00:44:18.000 --> 00:44:20.920
Most times I enjoy it.

901
00:44:20.920 --> 00:44:26.760
Today might not be the best time because we're getting ready to have this crazy freeze,

902
00:44:26.760 --> 00:44:28.400
and I'm like, I'm so cold.

903
00:44:28.400 --> 00:44:30.320
I want my warm weather back.

904
00:44:30.320 --> 00:44:37.800
But again, if you're willing to relocate or they are and you can afford it,

905
00:44:37.800 --> 00:44:41.280
then go ahead and open the parameters.

906
00:44:41.280 --> 00:44:43.240
If you know that you can't,

907
00:44:43.280 --> 00:44:49.440
if you're bound to an area because maybe you have children that you share with a former,

908
00:44:49.440 --> 00:44:51.560
and you just know you can't.

909
00:44:51.560 --> 00:44:56.480
You can't relocate because you have parenting agreements.

910
00:44:56.480 --> 00:45:00.000
Don't get involved with somebody long distance unless they're

911
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.360
able to relocate because you're not going to be able to because then things just get weird

912
00:45:06.080 --> 00:45:12.400
because you start developing feelings for somebody that you you can't end up neither one of you can

913
00:45:12.400 --> 00:45:17.840
move all right so we we don't want to find you we don't want you ladies to find yourselves in

914
00:45:17.840 --> 00:45:26.720
those types of situations okay um be okay nope i already said that um let them know that if you

915
00:45:26.720 --> 00:45:32.320
want to see them again so as like if you're on dates and you want to see them let them know that

916
00:45:32.320 --> 00:45:35.520
you want to see them again let them know hey i really had a great time let's do this again

917
00:45:36.320 --> 00:45:43.600
save at the end of the day and then if they didn't like catch wind of it like the next day

918
00:45:43.600 --> 00:45:48.000
message and be like i really had such an awesome time it was so fun getting to know you you know

919
00:45:48.000 --> 00:45:56.320
i really hope we can do that again sometime let them know and then hopefully they'll pick it up

920
00:45:56.320 --> 00:46:01.200
and they'll set a second date up with you oh yeah that was great let's definitely do that again

921
00:46:02.080 --> 00:46:05.680
all right and then you'll be like awesome let me know when you're available

922
00:46:07.280 --> 00:46:12.640
right and then remember ladies it's a yes until it's a no and again when i say that

923
00:46:13.520 --> 00:46:19.200
there's some balance there if it's a no for you let us know why it's a no okay doesn't mean that

924
00:46:19.200 --> 00:46:25.120
you're like you have to force yourself on like three or four dates with someone that you're like

925
00:46:25.200 --> 00:46:31.680
no no okay but i do want you ladies coming to us and letting us know why because if we see patterns

926
00:46:32.640 --> 00:46:37.120
over you know a couple guys and you're constantly saying no for the same kinds of reasons we can

927
00:46:37.120 --> 00:46:45.280
help you work through certain things okay um so that's about it again remember ladies don't judge

928
00:46:45.280 --> 00:46:52.640
your experience with others experiences okay and this comes from two different ways so just because

929
00:46:52.640 --> 00:46:58.560
online didn't dating was a horror for you in the past or maybe it was a horror for your friends

930
00:46:58.560 --> 00:47:03.840
that are currently on online dating doesn't mean it has to be that way for you or has to be like

931
00:47:03.840 --> 00:47:10.240
that now all right also don't put yourself in the comparison game when you're seeing your sisters

932
00:47:10.240 --> 00:47:18.160
here in this community that are having different experiences than you all right don't lose hope

933
00:47:18.160 --> 00:47:24.080
all right remember we all have a process that god wants to work um through us

934
00:47:25.920 --> 00:47:34.720
for his promise okay cool cool cool awesome all right i see a couple questions i see five six

935
00:47:34.720 --> 00:47:39.760
people that have their hands raised i see some things in the chat here so i want to kind of go

936
00:47:39.760 --> 00:47:45.760
through that first and then we'll start taking some questions um let me see let's see let's see

937
00:47:45.840 --> 00:47:51.440
okay yep got there okay that's good what if there are not a lot of people in your area

938
00:47:52.240 --> 00:47:58.080
um then that's fine yeah you might have to do zooms more consistently okay again if there's not

939
00:47:58.080 --> 00:48:03.120
a lot of people in your area and you're open to being able to travel and they are too then then

940
00:48:03.120 --> 00:48:12.560
that is it's always a good thing okay um who had good date ideas um so yeah we can and again post

941
00:48:12.560 --> 00:48:17.440
those in the all chat if you want lady i mean how many ladies in this community that have been on

942
00:48:17.440 --> 00:48:24.320
date so leslie throw that in the all community that community and all and say hey ladies let's

943
00:48:24.320 --> 00:48:30.720
get some ideas going and then you know y'all can post some of your fun date ideas all right i i

944
00:48:30.720 --> 00:48:35.200
always i like um i'm trying to think of some of the dates that i've been on and i'll use i mean

945
00:48:35.200 --> 00:48:40.720
some of the dates i've been on with my husband that have been fun um axe throwing like i'm

946
00:48:40.720 --> 00:48:48.400
competitive and so that was something for me like like i want someone that can hang with me

947
00:48:48.400 --> 00:48:55.360
competitively competitively all right i you know when i was single i had my one my youngest all

948
00:48:55.360 --> 00:49:01.200
right so he he's nine now he was like seven at the time he was how old was he was like

949
00:49:01.920 --> 00:49:07.120
four or five when i came into the program and then when i met my husband he was about seven

950
00:49:07.120 --> 00:49:13.040
and he plays like competitive he plays baseball and so i'm very like i'm that baseball mom that's

951
00:49:13.040 --> 00:49:19.600
on the sidelines y'all i'm screaming like sometimes i have to check myself because

952
00:49:20.320 --> 00:49:24.880
i'm like super competitive you know and i'm getting you know i'm getting into it so i needed

953
00:49:24.880 --> 00:49:29.520
someone that was gonna hang with me and so i wanted to go on dates where i could see like a

954
00:49:29.520 --> 00:49:36.000
competitive nature of a guy is he gonna like is he gonna be turned off if i'm like die hard like

955
00:49:36.000 --> 00:49:42.400
let's get into this because ladies that's part of like that i love that about myself and so i want

956
00:49:42.400 --> 00:49:50.640
someone to see that okay and get to know the real me and i want to see the real them one of our my

957
00:49:50.640 --> 00:49:56.800
second date with my husband was at an arcade i don't love video games but they can be fun

958
00:49:57.600 --> 00:49:59.680
you know playing pinball i do like pinball

959
00:50:00.640 --> 00:50:03.840
We had some of those like driving games, y'all.

960
00:50:03.840 --> 00:50:05.240
My second date with my husband,

961
00:50:05.240 --> 00:50:08.560
we were like doing the driving thing and I beat his butt

962
00:50:08.560 --> 00:50:11.800
and I made sure he knew that I kicked his butt.

963
00:50:11.800 --> 00:50:13.960
All right, and he's just like, no, I let you win.

964
00:50:13.960 --> 00:50:15.360
I'm like, no, you didn't.

965
00:50:15.360 --> 00:50:16.460
You didn't let me win.

966
00:50:17.880 --> 00:50:19.920
Not a thing, all right.

967
00:50:19.920 --> 00:50:22.720
So those are some good date ideas, Leslie.

968
00:50:24.040 --> 00:50:25.360
Dinner dates, yeah.

969
00:50:25.360 --> 00:50:27.120
Like dinner dates are sometimes again,

970
00:50:27.120 --> 00:50:28.880
like careful with those

971
00:50:28.880 --> 00:50:31.880
because those can turn into interview sessions.

972
00:50:31.880 --> 00:50:33.520
All right, so we don't want that.

973
00:50:35.220 --> 00:50:37.240
But again, sometimes that's just the easiest thing to do

974
00:50:37.240 --> 00:50:39.120
because we all have to eat, right?

975
00:50:39.120 --> 00:50:41.560
Make time to eat so then we can, you know,

976
00:50:41.560 --> 00:50:42.660
go on a date there.

977
00:50:44.880 --> 00:50:47.840
Someone, okay, taking your dog to the vet to get spayed.

978
00:50:47.840 --> 00:50:52.740
Hey, then you can see if they're an animal person, right?

979
00:50:54.000 --> 00:50:55.080
Good, good stuff.

980
00:50:57.520 --> 00:50:58.720
So, okay, Janice is saying,

981
00:50:58.720 --> 00:51:00.880
what if a friend you're interested in

982
00:51:00.880 --> 00:51:04.200
asks you what do you want to talk about

983
00:51:04.200 --> 00:51:06.360
after you ask for a meetup?

984
00:51:06.360 --> 00:51:08.000
They haven't agreed to meet up

985
00:51:08.000 --> 00:51:10.680
because they feel anxious without knowing

986
00:51:10.680 --> 00:51:11.960
what you're going to talk about.

987
00:51:11.960 --> 00:51:13.680
I'm a little confused on that.

988
00:51:13.680 --> 00:51:15.600
Is Janice still here?

989
00:51:15.600 --> 00:51:16.900
I don't know if I see her.

990
00:51:19.200 --> 00:51:21.200
Oh, where did everybody go?

991
00:51:21.200 --> 00:51:23.800
I've been having people pop in and out.

992
00:51:23.800 --> 00:51:26.800
Let's see, one, two, three, four, five, six,

993
00:51:26.800 --> 00:51:27.640
six, seven, eight, 10.

994
00:51:27.640 --> 00:51:29.200
I think we've had about 20 people on

995
00:51:29.200 --> 00:51:30.960
and we keep popping in and out.

996
00:51:30.960 --> 00:51:33.000
All right, maybe Janice will pop back in.

997
00:51:34.120 --> 00:51:35.360
She might have had her hand raised

998
00:51:35.360 --> 00:51:36.200
and that's the other one

999
00:51:36.200 --> 00:51:38.200
because we had six and now we have five.

1000
00:51:39.040 --> 00:51:40.620
Yep, Holy Ghost did.

1001
00:51:41.680 --> 00:51:43.480
Okay, good, good, good.

1002
00:51:43.480 --> 00:51:45.800
What if it's long distance?

1003
00:51:47.280 --> 00:51:49.320
Stephanie, I'm not sure what you're referring to.

1004
00:51:49.320 --> 00:51:52.360
I know that was probably a few minutes ago

1005
00:51:52.360 --> 00:51:54.640
when we were getting into that.

1006
00:51:54.640 --> 00:51:56.900
You might have to refresh my memory.

1007
00:51:56.900 --> 00:51:57.740
You're good?

1008
00:51:57.740 --> 00:51:59.360
Okay, awesome.

1009
00:51:59.360 --> 00:52:01.060
How do you handle different cultures

1010
00:52:01.060 --> 00:52:03.740
that may want to be with their family a lot?

1011
00:52:03.740 --> 00:52:04.680
Okay, that's a good one.

1012
00:52:04.680 --> 00:52:06.200
Bernice, are you still here?

1013
00:52:07.980 --> 00:52:08.820
She's still here?

1014
00:52:08.820 --> 00:52:10.600
Yes, will you put your hand up?

1015
00:52:10.600 --> 00:52:13.720
Do you have, we can definitely go into that.

1016
00:52:16.520 --> 00:52:18.380
Definitely, we can definitely talk about that.

1017
00:52:18.380 --> 00:52:20.720
I think that will help some of the ladies.

1018
00:52:20.720 --> 00:52:22.160
How do you know when it's time

1019
00:52:22.160 --> 00:52:23.760
to date someone exclusively?

1020
00:52:23.760 --> 00:52:25.080
Okay, Amanda, that's a good one.

1021
00:52:25.080 --> 00:52:26.520
Amanda, are you still here?

1022
00:52:28.480 --> 00:52:29.760
Put your hand up, please.

1023
00:52:32.280 --> 00:52:34.840
Yep, I'm gonna pull this out of you ladies.

1024
00:52:34.840 --> 00:52:37.720
I'm gonna get you all talking to me, okay?

1025
00:52:38.640 --> 00:52:40.000
Natasha, that's your situation.

1026
00:52:40.000 --> 00:52:40.960
Not a lot in your area,

1027
00:52:40.960 --> 00:52:43.120
but getting hits from two guys, two or three.

1028
00:52:43.120 --> 00:52:45.840
Okay, and one was willing to meet me halfway.

1029
00:52:45.840 --> 00:52:49.160
That's good, but he was dodging doing a video call.

1030
00:52:49.160 --> 00:52:52.000
Okay, he like says, yes, sure,

1031
00:52:52.000 --> 00:52:55.680
but then when I schedule something or he is free

1032
00:52:55.680 --> 00:52:57.480
and try to get us on a video call,

1033
00:52:57.480 --> 00:52:58.960
he disappears and comes back later.

1034
00:52:58.960 --> 00:53:00.920
Okay, yeah, I don't know.

1035
00:53:00.920 --> 00:53:03.320
Like, let's be cautious of that

1036
00:53:03.320 --> 00:53:04.600
because sometimes ladies,

1037
00:53:04.600 --> 00:53:06.600
okay, I don't want to freak any of you out,

1038
00:53:06.600 --> 00:53:09.740
but if men are dodging the video calls,

1039
00:53:10.840 --> 00:53:13.200
sometimes it's because they might be a scammer.

1040
00:53:14.120 --> 00:53:18.160
Okay, now if he's willing to come meet you halfway,

1041
00:53:20.120 --> 00:53:24.680
maybe see if you set something up in person

1042
00:53:24.680 --> 00:53:28.200
and see if he follows through, okay?

1043
00:53:29.120 --> 00:53:31.600
Or again, just be like, look,

1044
00:53:31.600 --> 00:53:34.760
before we invest time in driving

1045
00:53:34.760 --> 00:53:37.360
and meeting each other halfway,

1046
00:53:37.360 --> 00:53:39.920
I think it's important that we have a video call.

1047
00:53:39.920 --> 00:53:42.880
If that's not, ladies,

1048
00:53:42.880 --> 00:53:45.840
throw that up as a boundary if you need to.

1049
00:53:45.840 --> 00:53:47.520
If that's what's gonna make you feel comfortable

1050
00:53:47.520 --> 00:53:48.680
to meet somebody in person,

1051
00:53:49.160 --> 00:53:52.480
then he needs to honor that, okay?

1052
00:53:53.720 --> 00:53:54.680
And here's the thing, ladies,

1053
00:53:54.680 --> 00:53:58.520
like, y'all can't ruin your spirit mate,

1054
00:53:58.520 --> 00:54:01.160
opportunity with your spirit mate, right?

1055
00:54:01.160 --> 00:54:04.920
So if that guy's not willing to get on a video call with you

1056
00:54:04.920 --> 00:54:06.520
or set something up in stone,

1057
00:54:08.040 --> 00:54:11.260
be like, okay, well, when you're ready, let me know.

1058
00:54:11.260 --> 00:54:14.360
And then let it go.

1059
00:54:15.320 --> 00:54:16.680
And if he's popping back in, be like,

1060
00:54:16.680 --> 00:54:20.360
hey, I really wanna invest some time in getting to know you

1061
00:54:20.360 --> 00:54:22.040
but we need to do a video chat

1062
00:54:22.040 --> 00:54:23.960
that's gonna make me feel comfortable.

1063
00:54:25.920 --> 00:54:27.240
And if he's not willing to do that,

1064
00:54:27.240 --> 00:54:31.480
then be like, okay, I don't know if we're on the same page.

1065
00:54:31.480 --> 00:54:33.480
I wish you the best of luck.

1066
00:54:33.480 --> 00:54:35.480
Peace out, dude, right?

1067
00:54:36.760 --> 00:54:40.240
Okay, awesome, all right, got lots of questions.

1068
00:54:40.240 --> 00:54:41.400
We're about an hour in.

1069
00:54:41.400 --> 00:54:44.960
So again, short, brief and powerful, okay?

1070
00:54:44.960 --> 00:54:46.160
I want one question.

1071
00:54:46.160 --> 00:54:47.960
And then if we have time at the end,

1072
00:54:47.960 --> 00:54:50.240
after everybody's gotten through their one question,

1073
00:54:50.240 --> 00:54:52.520
then we can take another call, okay?

1074
00:54:52.520 --> 00:54:54.880
Or not another call, another question.

1075
00:54:54.880 --> 00:54:56.920
All right, Melissa, how are you?

1076
00:54:57.760 --> 00:54:59.760
All right, Carla, I'm doing good.

1077
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.000
Good. I think you posted in our community, right?

1078
00:55:04.720 --> 00:55:05.040
Yes.

1079
00:55:05.040 --> 00:55:08.960
You had the one with, remind me, refresh my memory.

1080
00:55:09.520 --> 00:55:16.000
Well, it was, so the guy I'm seeing, like, frequently, I went on yesterday,

1081
00:55:16.000 --> 00:55:17.200
would have been the fifth date.

1082
00:55:17.920 --> 00:55:18.960
Okay, yeah.

1083
00:55:18.960 --> 00:55:22.160
From the second date, well, even on the first date, he told me he liked me a lot,

1084
00:55:22.160 --> 00:55:24.320
but on the second date, he was like,

1085
00:55:24.320 --> 00:55:26.320
is this too early for me to ask you to be my girlfriend?

1086
00:55:26.320 --> 00:55:27.920
And I don't even think he had the whole sentence out.

1087
00:55:27.920 --> 00:55:29.120
And I went, yes.

1088
00:55:30.560 --> 00:55:32.400
We don't know each other well enough.

1089
00:55:32.400 --> 00:55:32.800
He's like,

1090
00:55:32.800 --> 00:55:36.160
That's good. I love that. And I don't know, did you see my response?

1091
00:55:36.160 --> 00:55:40.880
Yes. And he just said, okay, just so you know, I'm all in.

1092
00:55:40.880 --> 00:55:44.960
And then he, like, left to go and we continued.

1093
00:55:44.960 --> 00:55:50.720
But what I posted in the group was,

1094
00:55:50.720 --> 00:55:54.880
it kind of, like, was doing something with the way of my thinking,

1095
00:55:54.880 --> 00:55:58.880
because I can just let you know, it'll be quicker just to explain.

1096
00:55:59.840 --> 00:56:05.040
I, in our conversations, like, the first time that I didn't mention to him

1097
00:56:05.040 --> 00:56:08.240
that that was me that said it, that was about,

1098
00:56:08.240 --> 00:56:10.320
he was talking, he's really into health.

1099
00:56:10.320 --> 00:56:12.160
And he says, avocados are healthy.

1100
00:56:12.160 --> 00:56:14.000
And he doesn't know what to eat them with.

1101
00:56:14.000 --> 00:56:15.520
So he's just eating them plain.

1102
00:56:15.520 --> 00:56:17.840
So I was like, oh, I really love them on steak.

1103
00:56:17.840 --> 00:56:19.280
He's like, oh, that sounds really interesting.

1104
00:56:19.280 --> 00:56:20.240
I'll have to try that.

1105
00:56:20.880 --> 00:56:22.960
And then we're sitting at Panera and I'm, like, eating.

1106
00:56:22.960 --> 00:56:24.480
And he's like, I don't know who it was,

1107
00:56:24.480 --> 00:56:26.480
but I really like eating those avocados.

1108
00:56:26.480 --> 00:56:30.400
And he starts saying the whole, what our conversation was.

1109
00:56:30.400 --> 00:56:33.840
And I didn't, I didn't say anything because I was like, well, this is weird.

1110
00:56:35.600 --> 00:56:38.480
And at first I was just kind of, I don't know.

1111
00:56:38.480 --> 00:56:40.240
I just, I was kind of, like, thrown off.

1112
00:56:41.120 --> 00:56:43.600
And then on Friday, when we were on a date,

1113
00:56:43.600 --> 00:56:46.320
we were talking about having another-

1114
00:56:46.320 --> 00:56:47.440
It was a pastor, right?

1115
00:56:47.440 --> 00:56:49.200
Like, he thought it was a pastor, but it was-

1116
00:56:49.920 --> 00:56:50.400
Yeah.

1117
00:56:50.400 --> 00:56:54.320
But the reason why this really bothered me is what I had said,

1118
00:56:54.320 --> 00:56:57.600
it was actually something that was spoken at my brother's funeral.

1119
00:56:58.240 --> 00:57:05.920
And so it was, it was basically, like,

1120
00:57:05.920 --> 00:57:10.000
how you don't want to get stuck in a box with someone's denomination.

1121
00:57:10.000 --> 00:57:11.600
So what was said at the funeral was,

1122
00:57:11.600 --> 00:57:13.920
there's going to be three surprises when we get to heaven.

1123
00:57:14.640 --> 00:57:16.240
One, that you're there.

1124
00:57:16.240 --> 00:57:20.560
Two, no, one, who is there, who's not there, and that you're there.

1125
00:57:21.120 --> 00:57:25.040
Because people have in their minds of who they think will be in heaven.

1126
00:57:25.040 --> 00:57:26.080
We don't know people's hearts.

1127
00:57:26.080 --> 00:57:30.000
So I had, like, said this and he was repeating it.

1128
00:57:30.000 --> 00:57:32.720
And so finally, I just, like, jokingly was like, that was me.

1129
00:57:32.720 --> 00:57:34.240
I'm the one that said that.

1130
00:57:34.240 --> 00:57:34.560
He's like-

1131
00:57:34.560 --> 00:57:36.000
How did he respond when you said that?

1132
00:57:36.960 --> 00:57:38.160
He was smiling.

1133
00:57:38.160 --> 00:57:38.880
He was talking to me.

1134
00:57:38.880 --> 00:57:42.800
He's like, oh, well, you say a lot of things that sound like something a pastor would say.

1135
00:57:42.800 --> 00:57:50.320
So it's like, so that's probably why I was, he's like, I just couldn't remember.

1136
00:57:51.200 --> 00:57:52.640
But I don't know.

1137
00:57:53.440 --> 00:57:55.040
The first time it happened, I thought it was weird.

1138
00:57:55.040 --> 00:57:59.520
But then when it happened a second time, I guess, like, the next day when I was at work,

1139
00:57:59.520 --> 00:58:03.200
I just thought, he says he's, like, so into me and, like, really wants to have an exclusive

1140
00:58:03.200 --> 00:58:06.480
relationship, but he can't even remember what we're talking about.

1141
00:58:06.480 --> 00:58:07.200
So it just-

1142
00:58:07.840 --> 00:58:08.160
Yeah.

1143
00:58:08.160 --> 00:58:12.320
I didn't know if it was actually a narcissistic trait to, like, make me feel, like, strange,

1144
00:58:12.320 --> 00:58:15.360
like, confused or, you know, what to think.

1145
00:58:16.160 --> 00:58:17.040
I don't think so.

1146
00:58:17.040 --> 00:58:21.280
And I think I even posted in there and I kind of gave you some of my own, like, I kind of

1147
00:58:21.280 --> 00:58:23.600
tried to give you a different perspective because-

1148
00:58:23.600 --> 00:58:24.240
Yeah.

1149
00:58:24.240 --> 00:58:24.960
Which I did.

1150
00:58:25.920 --> 00:58:28.080
It reminded me a lot of my husband.

1151
00:58:28.080 --> 00:58:28.880
Okay.

1152
00:58:28.880 --> 00:58:29.120
Yeah.

1153
00:58:29.120 --> 00:58:31.040
It reminded me a lot of my husband, okay?

1154
00:58:31.040 --> 00:58:35.680
Because my husband, from the get-go, like, he knew what he wanted.

1155
00:58:35.680 --> 00:58:37.520
He knew he wanted to be married again.

1156
00:58:37.520 --> 00:58:40.320
And he, like, he'd been dating for some time.

1157
00:58:40.320 --> 00:58:44.720
His, like, I mean, he loved, he wanted to be married.

1158
00:58:45.680 --> 00:58:51.520
He told me even, like, when he was younger, like, he just knew he wanted to be a husband,

1159
00:58:51.520 --> 00:58:51.760
okay?

1160
00:58:52.400 --> 00:58:56.560
And so I will say this, ladies, sometimes men just know they want to be married.

1161
00:58:56.560 --> 00:59:02.240
And so don't freak out if guys are all about ready to be exclusive, okay?

1162
00:59:03.840 --> 00:59:06.720
That's why I love that you still put a boundary on it, okay?

1163
00:59:07.840 --> 00:59:10.080
You did a good job, all right?

1164
00:59:10.080 --> 00:59:13.520
It doesn't mean that men are, like, trying to love bomb us if they do.

1165
00:59:13.520 --> 00:59:15.840
Sometimes, yes, it is, okay?

1166
00:59:15.840 --> 00:59:18.240
So, again, this is sometimes it will be and sometimes it won't.

1167
00:59:18.240 --> 00:59:22.000
Just, again, having these clear perspectives, okay, ladies?

1168
00:59:22.000 --> 00:59:27.680
If a guy wants you to be exclusive right away, it could just be a yellow flag.

1169
00:59:27.680 --> 00:59:28.800
It doesn't mean it's red.

1170
00:59:29.680 --> 00:59:29.920
Yeah.

1171
00:59:30.720 --> 00:59:32.800
Some men know.

1172
00:59:34.000 --> 00:59:35.280
They know they want to be married.

1173
00:59:35.920 --> 00:59:41.120
And oftentimes, like, you'll, Jackie, okay, so for those of you who don't know,

1174
00:59:41.120 --> 00:59:43.120
Jackie married my husband and I.

1175
00:59:43.120 --> 00:59:44.400
She officiated our wedding.

1176
00:59:45.920 --> 00:59:50.320
And what she does when she does officiate weddings, like, she can't really do a lot of

1177
00:59:50.320 --> 00:59:56.880
them now because she's really, really busy, but she asked both of us, and I know she's

1178
00:59:56.880 --> 00:59:59.840
done this with other couples, she asked them, like, when did you know?

1179
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.000
And a lot of times men know on the first date.

1180
01:00:05.000 --> 01:00:07.000
They just do.

1181
01:00:07.000 --> 01:00:11.000
He's told me that he thinks that I am the one.

1182
01:00:11.000 --> 01:00:12.000
He's already told me that.

1183
01:00:12.000 --> 01:00:16.000
Us women sometimes need a little more time, right?

1184
01:00:16.000 --> 01:00:18.000
But some men don't, okay?

1185
01:00:18.000 --> 01:00:23.000
And so, again, like men that are not, especially men that are not in our program,

1186
01:00:23.000 --> 01:00:27.000
they don't know that that's like, oh, hold on.

1187
01:00:27.000 --> 01:00:29.000
Like that's really quick.

1188
01:00:29.000 --> 01:00:31.000
So, again, it's just, it's setting that boundary.

1189
01:00:31.000 --> 01:00:35.000
Like, hey, no, let's just spend some time getting to know each other, okay?

1190
01:00:35.000 --> 01:00:40.000
Now, like, again, referring to the not remembering, ladies,

1191
01:00:40.000 --> 01:00:44.000
my husband really struggles with his memory.

1192
01:00:44.000 --> 01:00:51.000
A lot of it is honestly like he is such a snorer.

1193
01:00:51.000 --> 01:00:56.000
And that can be linked to, so when they don't,

1194
01:00:56.000 --> 01:00:59.000
if they're snoring and they're not well rested and they're not getting a

1195
01:00:59.000 --> 01:01:00.000
lot of oxygen,

1196
01:01:00.000 --> 01:01:06.000
it actually can create a lot of like health risks where they're not

1197
01:01:06.000 --> 01:01:08.000
getting enough oxygen.

1198
01:01:08.000 --> 01:01:12.000
They've got brain fog and they're overwhelmed.

1199
01:01:12.000 --> 01:01:14.000
If, I mean, my husband is really hard working,

1200
01:01:14.000 --> 01:01:17.000
like he's in sales and he's starting his own business.

1201
01:01:17.000 --> 01:01:20.000
He's can easily be overwhelmed.

1202
01:01:20.000 --> 01:01:22.000
I have to give him a lot of reminders.

1203
01:01:22.000 --> 01:01:24.000
Okay.

1204
01:01:25.000 --> 01:01:32.000
So don't, I would say just careful what you're assuming right away.

1205
01:01:32.000 --> 01:01:33.000
Okay.

1206
01:01:33.000 --> 01:01:38.000
I'm not saying like, again, I would preface like what,

1207
01:01:38.000 --> 01:01:40.000
what fear is coming up in you,

1208
01:01:40.000 --> 01:01:46.000
what anxious thoughts are coming up in you and let's let allow this to be an

1209
01:01:46.000 --> 01:01:48.000
opportunity to work on some of,

1210
01:01:48.000 --> 01:01:52.000
if there's any healing or a lie that you're believing, what fear,

1211
01:01:52.000 --> 01:01:57.000
anxious thought is coming up and help you process through what that looks

1212
01:01:57.000 --> 01:01:58.000
like.

1213
01:01:58.000 --> 01:02:02.000
Like that fear, anxious thought coming from, is it tied to a lie?

1214
01:02:02.000 --> 01:02:05.000
Let's replace it with God's truth. Okay.

1215
01:02:05.000 --> 01:02:09.000
Again, ladies, I share this often with y'all.

1216
01:02:09.000 --> 01:02:13.000
It's not always about how the men are responding or what they're doing.

1217
01:02:13.000 --> 01:02:18.000
It's how we're responding and what can we use that?

1218
01:02:18.000 --> 01:02:21.000
Like, how can we use that opportunity to grow us?

1219
01:02:22.000 --> 01:02:26.000
And, um, use it like,

1220
01:02:26.000 --> 01:02:31.000
how is God using that person to prepare us for what he has for us in

1221
01:02:31.000 --> 01:02:32.000
marriage?

1222
01:02:32.000 --> 01:02:36.000
Yeah. And I already learned about, yeah.

1223
01:02:36.000 --> 01:02:40.000
And what the assuming I already kind of learned that because actually when I

1224
01:02:40.000 --> 01:02:44.000
first, I was talking to him and when I first went on the dates, I,

1225
01:02:44.000 --> 01:02:47.000
I got the feeling that I was the first person he had dated since he was

1226
01:02:47.000 --> 01:02:49.000
divorced. Like, I really thought that in my head,

1227
01:02:50.000 --> 01:02:51.000
but actually on Friday,

1228
01:02:51.000 --> 01:02:54.000
when we were having that conversation about what he had forgotten,

1229
01:02:54.000 --> 01:02:59.000
I said kind of how it came up was because he actually just started telling

1230
01:02:59.000 --> 01:03:02.000
me that he had went on. I'm not sure.

1231
01:03:02.000 --> 01:03:06.000
I think he said went out with two or three other women and he was actually

1232
01:03:06.000 --> 01:03:09.000
saying, I don't know. They said they were Christian.

1233
01:03:09.000 --> 01:03:12.000
I don't know if they're just marking that because they're not Muslim.

1234
01:03:12.000 --> 01:03:16.000
Like he like said this, he's like, but they definitely didn't act Christian.

1235
01:03:16.000 --> 01:03:20.000
He said, you're the only woman that I've dated that actually I feel that is

1236
01:03:20.000 --> 01:03:23.000
an actual question. So, um,

1237
01:03:26.000 --> 01:03:28.000
Yeah, but that made me feel good.

1238
01:03:30.000 --> 01:03:31.000
Yeah.

1239
01:03:31.000 --> 01:03:34.000
But then I felt actually better to know that he had dated other people.

1240
01:03:34.000 --> 01:03:38.000
Cause I didn't feel that he was zooming in on me. So I was like, Oh great.

1241
01:03:38.000 --> 01:03:41.000
Most women would not be happy about that, but I was actually happy.

1242
01:03:42.000 --> 01:03:45.000
And maybe that's why he was like ready to go exclusive with you.

1243
01:03:45.000 --> 01:03:47.000
He was like excited. He's like, yes,

1244
01:03:47.000 --> 01:03:51.000
finally a woman that is like actually has a relationship with the Lord.

1245
01:03:51.000 --> 01:03:56.000
Like this girl right up. Right. I mean, remember ladies,

1246
01:03:56.000 --> 01:04:01.000
like these guys, they all have, like, we can't assume,

1247
01:04:01.000 --> 01:04:03.000
we can't assume anything.

1248
01:04:03.000 --> 01:04:08.000
This is why the just this fading for discovery is important is because it's

1249
01:04:08.000 --> 01:04:12.000
really a time for us to get to know them, to get to know ourselves. Again,

1250
01:04:13.000 --> 01:04:16.000
y'all are going to have some yellow flags. There's going to be some, some,

1251
01:04:16.000 --> 01:04:17.000
you know,

1252
01:04:17.000 --> 01:04:21.000
certain thoughts that want to surface as we start getting into dating.

1253
01:04:21.000 --> 01:04:26.000
And these are those opportunities where the dating process is going to grow.

1254
01:04:26.000 --> 01:04:29.000
You, it's going to stretch you. It's going to grow you.

1255
01:04:29.000 --> 01:04:32.000
It's going to highlight things in you that, you know,

1256
01:04:32.000 --> 01:04:36.000
you have to work through you you'll work through it on your, on your own.

1257
01:04:36.000 --> 01:04:38.000
And then when you get into relationship,

1258
01:04:38.000 --> 01:04:42.000
you're going to work on those things with your partners too. Okay.

1259
01:04:42.000 --> 01:04:46.000
So hopefully Melissa, like you're getting, you know,

1260
01:04:46.000 --> 01:04:49.000
you're feeling some ease with it again, just proper pacing,

1261
01:04:49.000 --> 01:04:53.000
which it sounds like, you know, you're doing don't overthink it.

1262
01:04:53.000 --> 01:04:57.000
Don't overanalyze it. Just relax. Have fun.

1263
01:04:57.000 --> 01:05:00.000
Jackie had to say that to me so many times.

1264
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.800
times when I was in this dating process like I was ladies if you haven't taken

1265
01:05:04.800 --> 01:05:11.880
the attachment style quiz it's in the resource tab of our app check it out do

1266
01:05:11.880 --> 01:05:17.040
it okay it will help give you an idea of how like how you attach in a

1267
01:05:17.040 --> 01:05:22.560
relationship I was an anxious attacher like I was your I mean even when I was

1268
01:05:22.560 --> 01:05:28.960
in marriage like I retook that quiz when I first got married and I was like man

1269
01:05:28.960 --> 01:05:33.220
I'm still an anxious attacher I recently just took it like a week ago I'm more of

1270
01:05:33.220 --> 01:05:37.720
a secure attachment but it's also because my husband is a secure attacher

1271
01:05:37.720 --> 01:05:43.920
and so his secure attachment helps me feel more secure okay and so but I have

1272
01:05:43.920 --> 01:05:48.520
to recognize when I'm starting to it I'll still creep up some of my ancient

1273
01:05:48.520 --> 01:05:55.240
attachment even in marriage and it's not to like shame myself or to shame any of

1274
01:05:55.240 --> 01:06:00.200
you ladies it's for us to recognize so that we can go through and work with the

1275
01:06:00.200 --> 01:06:06.000
Lord on what we need to process through okay so just take the like ladies just

1276
01:06:06.000 --> 01:06:09.400
take that attachment style quiz so as you start getting into dating you're

1277
01:06:09.400 --> 01:06:14.320
gonna see things because some of you are gonna be anxious attachers and the way

1278
01:06:14.320 --> 01:06:19.960
we coach you in that some of you ladies that are avoidant attachment you're

1279
01:06:19.960 --> 01:06:25.800
gonna pick up on that well we're not we're not coaching an avoidant

1280
01:06:25.800 --> 01:06:31.320
attachment the same way we're coaching an anxious attacher or some of y'all are

1281
01:06:31.320 --> 01:06:37.040
like both of them okay so just keep that in mind when we're coaching and you guys

1282
01:06:37.040 --> 01:06:42.080
are watching how we coach other women just keep that in mind like ooh she

1283
01:06:42.080 --> 01:06:46.520
might be you know applying that because the person's anxiously attaching and not

1284
01:06:46.520 --> 01:06:49.800
avoidant and I'm avoidant so maybe I need to work on that okay does that make

1285
01:06:49.800 --> 01:06:56.480
sense I kind of feel like it's off on a tangent there Melissa yes you might be

1286
01:06:56.480 --> 01:07:02.280
sleeping you might be snoring when you're sleeping I sometimes struggle

1287
01:07:02.280 --> 01:07:06.960
with my memory too okay thank you so much Melissa I hope that blessed you I

1288
01:07:06.960 --> 01:07:12.720
hope that you feel thank you just reading what you said about her husband

1289
01:07:12.720 --> 01:07:18.040
actually made me feel better but I still wanted to talk to you about it

1290
01:07:18.640 --> 01:07:22.760
all right well you are welcome Alessandra you're up next

1291
01:07:22.760 --> 01:07:30.600
hello city gal yes so after last week I decided to open up my filters a little

1292
01:07:30.600 --> 01:07:36.240
bit more so they're on spiritual Catholic Christian anyways I started

1293
01:07:36.240 --> 01:07:39.640
talking to this guy I shared this on the resources in the video or in the

1294
01:07:39.640 --> 01:07:43.120
community video sorry talking this guy really liked him he was supposed to

1295
01:07:43.120 --> 01:07:48.320
message me on Friday after work he never did then Monday came he said how

1296
01:07:48.320 --> 01:07:52.760
was your weekend I didn't respond then Tuesday he's like are you okay and then

1297
01:07:52.760 --> 01:07:54.920
finally I said you know I'm just looking for someone who's a little bit more

1298
01:07:54.920 --> 01:07:58.600
intentional and wanting to get to know me and he said yes so just giving a

1299
01:07:58.600 --> 01:08:02.400
context he said oh I'm so sorry if that if you perceived that you know I would

1300
01:08:02.400 --> 01:08:04.840
still love this that was not my intention at all I would still love to

1301
01:08:04.840 --> 01:08:10.520
meet so we met we had a great time and I mentioned and he's very he's very into

1302
01:08:10.520 --> 01:08:13.680
theology so he said when he was living in LA he used to go to church because he

1303
01:08:13.680 --> 01:08:18.359
likes us Christian churches but also like he's been to synagogues and he's

1304
01:08:18.359 --> 01:08:22.240
his his grandparents were very Catholic he's spoken to the Pope multiple times

1305
01:08:22.240 --> 01:08:27.680
but he's also brought the Dalai Lama four times to Mexico and so I he said

1306
01:08:27.680 --> 01:08:31.240
you know they all the religions have like the same values and I said well

1307
01:08:31.240 --> 01:08:34.240
yeah they have similar values but then I was like just said you know but only one

1308
01:08:34.240 --> 01:08:40.240
of them has Jesus who conquered death and gave it whatever so I did my whole

1309
01:08:40.240 --> 01:08:45.240
thing and he said he was like wow and then he texted me off and I said you

1310
01:08:45.240 --> 01:08:48.439
know you should come to church with me he's like oh I would love to and then he

1311
01:08:48.439 --> 01:08:52.160
texted me after the date wait so you offered him to come to church with you

1312
01:08:52.160 --> 01:08:55.640
or he offered you to come to church with him I offered him I was like yes you

1313
01:08:55.640 --> 01:08:59.080
should come to the church like an open invitation like after I went on my

1314
01:08:59.080 --> 01:09:05.040
little evangelical spiel of a evangelical spiel which I never do but I

1315
01:09:05.040 --> 01:09:08.319
don't know why I just went was like you know supernatural power really we had

1316
01:09:08.319 --> 01:09:11.680
resurrection power in us he was like oh wow and I was like yeah you should come

1317
01:09:11.680 --> 01:09:15.680
to church sometimes then then he's he messaged me when I got home a really

1318
01:09:15.680 --> 01:09:18.120
sweet message like you were such an interesting person I absolutely love

1319
01:09:18.120 --> 01:09:21.720
seeing you and you left me thinking I would love to go to church with you

1320
01:09:21.720 --> 01:09:26.160
sometime okay but then you were saying on the chat you're like don't go in

1321
01:09:26.399 --> 01:09:33.160
yeah so obviously you've already thrown that up you've offered that but yeah we

1322
01:09:33.160 --> 01:09:40.240
can definitely chat about why that is okay and I even think like we're in the

1323
01:09:40.240 --> 01:09:47.920
there's possibility like we even oh let's see I think it'll be good at some

1324
01:09:47.920 --> 01:09:52.160
point for Jackie to even teach on this and I think we're gonna we're we're in

1325
01:09:52.160 --> 01:09:55.720
the works of hopefully doing something where she can kind of talk a little bit

1326
01:09:55.720 --> 01:10:01.760
more on this because what happens

1327
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:09.360
So when we start going to church, worshiping with men, praying with men, doing devotionals

1328
01:10:09.360 --> 01:10:17.140
with men in the early stages of dating, it will create a spiritual intimacy with somebody.

1329
01:10:17.140 --> 01:10:20.560
And so what will happen is we will attach to them.

1330
01:10:20.560 --> 01:10:26.600
It's almost like you get this connection with someone where you feel closer to them than

1331
01:10:26.600 --> 01:10:29.520
you actually are.

1332
01:10:29.520 --> 01:10:39.540
And then it can then lead to hindering us to seeing maybe red flags or yellow flags

1333
01:10:39.540 --> 01:10:43.600
because now we have this like spiritual connection with them.

1334
01:10:43.600 --> 01:10:55.000
And what happens, especially in our community, we're all desiring for these kingdom marriages

1335
01:10:55.160 --> 01:11:03.720
with husbands that are going to show up and lead well and be connected and have these

1336
01:11:03.720 --> 01:11:07.240
like, our marriages are going to be centered around the Lord.

1337
01:11:07.240 --> 01:11:14.280
And so what can happen in these early stages, we can start over fantasizing what this looks

1338
01:11:14.280 --> 01:11:18.280
like because now we're going to church with this guy that maybe we've only known for a

1339
01:11:18.280 --> 01:11:22.680
week or two, and we can start fantasizing and picturing what it's going to look like

1340
01:11:23.240 --> 01:11:27.400
if this goes into relationship and it's a level three relationship and what's it going

1341
01:11:27.400 --> 01:11:29.080
to look like in marriage.

1342
01:11:29.080 --> 01:11:35.560
And we can start fantasizing with this person that we hardly know.

1343
01:11:37.000 --> 01:11:39.160
And then we get blinded.

1344
01:11:40.360 --> 01:11:47.640
It gets almost like, so let me even kind of break this down.

1345
01:11:47.640 --> 01:11:53.720
More of for those that have ever been in relationship and have had sex outside of marriage.

1346
01:11:54.600 --> 01:11:54.600


1347
01:11:54.600 --> 01:11:58.600
We talk about this is why we say abstain from sex, the physical connection, all that kind

1348
01:11:58.600 --> 01:12:00.680
of stuff, because it will bond you.

1349
01:12:01.480 --> 01:12:02.520
It will bond us.

1350
01:12:02.520 --> 01:12:08.440
If we have this emotional connection, the chemistry is there, like our brains will release

1351
01:12:08.440 --> 01:12:14.200
endorphins when we have a sexual connection with somebody and we will feel attached to

1352
01:12:14.840 --> 01:12:18.280
them and we will be blind to all the things.

1353
01:12:18.280 --> 01:12:21.080
Okay, that happened to me, right?

1354
01:12:21.080 --> 01:12:23.960
For those of you who don't know, I had a child at a wedlock.

1355
01:12:24.600 --> 01:12:33.560
I was so blind to all of the red flags and not just with my son's father, even the

1356
01:12:33.560 --> 01:12:34.920
relationships previous.

1357
01:12:35.640 --> 01:12:43.880
So what can happen, especially in our community where, you know, maybe women are abstaining

1358
01:12:43.880 --> 01:12:45.000
from the sex, right?

1359
01:12:45.880 --> 01:12:52.360
Most of us have this, you know, we're convicted not to have sex outside of marriage.

1360
01:12:52.360 --> 01:12:59.400
But what some of us women struggle with is this spiritual intimacy with somebody.

1361
01:12:59.960 --> 01:13:06.360
And then it's almost very similar to the sexual connection, the physical connection.

1362
01:13:06.360 --> 01:13:08.440
It can happen the same way in the spiritual.

1363
01:13:09.480 --> 01:13:15.240
Okay, so that's why we really do encourage you ladies, like don't be having devotionals

1364
01:13:15.240 --> 01:13:15.880
with guys.

1365
01:13:16.520 --> 01:13:18.760
Don't be having like prayer time with them.

1366
01:13:19.400 --> 01:13:23.320
Don't buy into like, I mean, in some manner, going to want to send you the spiritual scriptures

1367
01:13:23.320 --> 01:13:24.920
and you're like, oh, this is so wonderful.

1368
01:13:24.920 --> 01:13:25.960
I've seen it.

1369
01:13:26.920 --> 01:13:31.560
I've been so many times where women get so fantasy.

1370
01:13:31.560 --> 01:13:35.960
Oh, but he's this, you know, he loves the Lord and he's such a great person.

1371
01:13:35.960 --> 01:13:39.000
Ladies, my son's father did the same thing.

1372
01:13:40.120 --> 01:13:41.400
I love the Lord.

1373
01:13:41.400 --> 01:13:43.880
I go to church, come to church with me.

1374
01:13:43.880 --> 01:13:46.600
And ladies, I got myself in a situation.

1375
01:13:46.600 --> 01:13:53.480
And then all of a sudden, the guy, like he didn't have a relationship with the Lord.

1376
01:13:53.880 --> 01:13:57.880
But by then I was already in deep, super deep.

1377
01:13:57.880 --> 01:13:58.440
Okay.

1378
01:13:58.440 --> 01:14:01.880
And I know that Ebony will probably share this tonight.

1379
01:14:01.880 --> 01:14:06.360
If she talks about this, she shared with me, and I'm sure she'll be okay with me sharing

1380
01:14:06.360 --> 01:14:09.880
it, is this happened even in her former marriage.

1381
01:14:11.000 --> 01:14:13.640
You know, they prayed together, they went to church, all this stuff.

1382
01:14:13.640 --> 01:14:15.080
And then they get into marriage.

1383
01:14:15.080 --> 01:14:16.520
And then all of a sudden he stopped.

1384
01:14:17.800 --> 01:14:19.160
But so I have a question on that.

1385
01:14:19.160 --> 01:14:20.280
So that's actually my worry.

1386
01:14:20.280 --> 01:14:21.560
I totally get the spiritual.

1387
01:14:22.520 --> 01:14:24.680
That's my worry is that like, I start dating this guy.

1388
01:14:24.680 --> 01:14:26.120
I'm already super into him.

1389
01:14:26.120 --> 01:14:28.760
I started dating this guy and he messages every day.

1390
01:14:28.760 --> 01:14:32.520
And he's just so respectful and sweet and consistent, all this stuff.

1391
01:14:32.520 --> 01:14:35.800
So it's like, I started dating this guy for two months.

1392
01:14:35.800 --> 01:14:38.040
And then he's not Christian.

1393
01:14:38.040 --> 01:14:39.240
He's not going to become Christian.

1394
01:14:39.240 --> 01:14:42.440
You know, I find that out like later on.

1395
01:14:42.440 --> 01:14:45.240
And now it's like so much even harder for me to pull away.

1396
01:14:45.880 --> 01:14:48.520
Well, then let's ask why you're attaching super quick.

1397
01:14:49.080 --> 01:14:51.880
Like what's, I mean, what's happening?

1398
01:14:51.880 --> 01:14:53.720
What beliefs are you aligning with?

1399
01:14:53.720 --> 01:14:58.120
Like, what are you like, how, like what is happening there?

1400
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.780
Because again, ladies, in this level two relationship, like we teach,

1401
01:15:03.780 --> 01:15:12.460
especially in that dating 101, is if we're over fantasizing or romanticizing

1402
01:15:12.460 --> 01:15:20.620
a relationship and then, and you take it into a deeper relationship too soon,

1403
01:15:21.180 --> 01:15:25.100
and then things kind of don't work out, then we're tore up from the floor up.

1404
01:15:25.660 --> 01:15:26.460
Why?

1405
01:15:27.540 --> 01:15:29.280
You know, what, what's happening?

1406
01:15:29.280 --> 01:15:31.240
How are we attaching too quickly?

1407
01:15:31.240 --> 01:15:32.800
Are we fantasizing about something?

1408
01:15:32.800 --> 01:15:36.320
I'm not, again, I'm just saying this because I don't know, like, these are

1409
01:15:36.320 --> 01:15:39.760
things that, you know, I would encourage you to kind of sit with the Lord on and

1410
01:15:39.760 --> 01:15:46.600
ask him to reveal to you, you know, Lord, why, why am I finding myself here?

1411
01:15:47.120 --> 01:15:47.940
What's happening?

1412
01:15:47.940 --> 01:15:49.200
What am I believing?

1413
01:15:49.200 --> 01:15:54.160
Is there anything in my counterfeit that I'm believing or aligning with, or is

1414
01:15:54.160 --> 01:15:59.840
there any lies, you know, Lord that you want to uncover and then let's process

1415
01:15:59.840 --> 01:16:05.760
through that and then let's start revealing his truth, you know, sometimes

1416
01:16:05.760 --> 01:16:12.160
it could be, you know, we have a scarcity mindset, we, we like this person and it

1417
01:16:12.160 --> 01:16:14.880
seems like that's the only promising person.

1418
01:16:14.880 --> 01:16:18.600
So we're going to attach to them and we're just going to try to make it like

1419
01:16:18.600 --> 01:16:20.400
be something that we really want it to be.

1420
01:16:20.400 --> 01:16:22.280
Cause God, I want it to be.

1421
01:16:23.040 --> 01:16:29.720
But then we're, we're so focused on like holding it tightly and then we don't see

1422
01:16:30.320 --> 01:16:36.000
how it's really not what God wants for us, but we're holding onto it so tight.

1423
01:16:36.720 --> 01:16:39.000
And this is where that surrender the pen comes.

1424
01:16:40.000 --> 01:16:42.400
We have to surrender the pen.

1425
01:16:42.720 --> 01:16:45.800
It doesn't have to look the way that we want it to look.

1426
01:16:46.960 --> 01:16:49.040
We have to trust the Lord.

1427
01:16:49.720 --> 01:16:50.520
Okay.

1428
01:16:51.280 --> 01:16:56.520
And I can say this because I am on the other side of it, but ladies, when your

1429
01:16:56.520 --> 01:16:59.240
spirit mate comes, it will make sense.

1430
01:16:59.280 --> 01:17:00.520
I promise you.

1431
01:17:02.360 --> 01:17:04.480
I was like blown away.

1432
01:17:04.800 --> 01:17:11.400
My, my love story looked nothing like the way I had envisioned it or the

1433
01:17:11.400 --> 01:17:13.360
way that I had hoped or dreamed.

1434
01:17:13.400 --> 01:17:19.240
Obviously my husband was living in Texas and I was not moving, but God

1435
01:17:19.360 --> 01:17:24.640
showed me certain intricate details.

1436
01:17:24.640 --> 01:17:26.320
He was so intentional.

1437
01:17:27.400 --> 01:17:30.040
Like God was so intentional in my love story.

1438
01:17:30.040 --> 01:17:34.520
It was so obvious, so gentle.

1439
01:17:36.000 --> 01:17:38.600
And I was like, this is not what I imagined it.

1440
01:17:39.120 --> 01:17:42.240
Even my marriage now, it's not always what I imagined.

1441
01:17:42.600 --> 01:17:45.920
You know, we were going through like, you know, ladies, I will tell you.

1442
01:17:46.120 --> 01:17:49.400
And Jackie will tell you like, marriage is not for the faint of heart.

1443
01:17:50.640 --> 01:17:53.720
There is so much growth that happens in marriage and it doesn't look the way

1444
01:17:53.720 --> 01:17:58.760
that I hoped it would look, but I know that God's in it and I know that it's good.

1445
01:18:00.560 --> 01:18:01.000
All right.

1446
01:18:01.000 --> 01:18:03.960
So again, it's, it's surrender that pen.

1447
01:18:03.960 --> 01:18:09.200
Let's ask ourselves, like, ask yourself, like, what is it that I'm not releasing

1448
01:18:09.200 --> 01:18:14.360
to the Lord and let's process and then process through that.

1449
01:18:16.040 --> 01:18:16.520
Okay.

1450
01:18:18.520 --> 01:18:21.320
Normally I'm always just writing, spending all day writing to them and

1451
01:18:21.320 --> 01:18:24.760
did it, and this time it's just like, nope, you know, we write a few sentences

1452
01:18:24.760 --> 01:18:27.840
in the morning and the evening and like, okay, let me take this slowly.

1453
01:18:28.200 --> 01:18:32.480
Thing that's also coming up because I, you shared this and I'm going to, I'm

1454
01:18:32.480 --> 01:18:37.840
going to challenge you a little bit with this is he didn't respond to you.

1455
01:18:38.000 --> 01:18:42.640
Like you said he was, and I'm not saying that he was, you know, okay for doing

1456
01:18:42.680 --> 01:18:50.320
that, but I would challenge yourself as why you got really closed off and he

1457
01:18:50.320 --> 01:18:52.840
reached out to you and then you were like, I'm not going to respond to you.

1458
01:18:53.880 --> 01:18:55.360
There's a hardness there.

1459
01:18:56.840 --> 01:18:57.320
Interesting.

1460
01:18:57.320 --> 01:18:59.120
And then he prompted again.

1461
01:18:59.320 --> 01:19:02.160
And so that's why I, that's why I think I might've asked you in that, like,

1462
01:19:02.200 --> 01:19:06.040
why didn't you not bring it up when he reached out the first time and be like,

1463
01:19:06.040 --> 01:19:08.840
Oh, Hey, it's nice to hear from you.

1464
01:19:09.320 --> 01:19:12.280
I was a little confused because you said that you were going to reach out on

1465
01:19:12.280 --> 01:19:13.520
Friday and you never did.

1466
01:19:13.560 --> 01:19:15.760
I wasn't sure what to think about that.

1467
01:19:16.400 --> 01:19:17.280
You should have done that.

1468
01:19:18.720 --> 01:19:19.440
I mean, that's what I'm saying.

1469
01:19:19.440 --> 01:19:21.560
And that's why I was like, well, Hey, why didn't you say something?

1470
01:19:21.560 --> 01:19:22.600
And you were like, well, I might do it.

1471
01:19:22.600 --> 01:19:24.440
And I'm like, no, like it's, it's, it's over.

1472
01:19:24.440 --> 01:19:24.920
It's past.

1473
01:19:24.920 --> 01:19:25.920
Like, you don't have to bring it up to him.

1474
01:19:25.920 --> 01:19:26.280
Now.

1475
01:19:26.760 --> 01:19:30.600
I'm asking that question to you because I want you to search inside.

1476
01:19:31.000 --> 01:19:35.640
Why did you choose to kind of not respond to him right away?

1477
01:19:36.120 --> 01:19:40.680
And then you went out on a date with him and you had a good time.

1478
01:19:40.720 --> 01:19:41.160
Right?

1479
01:19:41.800 --> 01:19:44.840
Well, because I almost canceled the date because I thought it was a sign from the

1480
01:19:44.840 --> 01:19:47.760
Holy spirit that I shouldn't go out with him because his pictures were a little

1481
01:19:47.760 --> 01:19:48.600
Photoshopped.

1482
01:19:48.600 --> 01:19:50.680
I had some friends who said his pictures are weird.

1483
01:19:50.920 --> 01:19:52.520
Then I have other friends saying he's not Christian.

1484
01:19:52.560 --> 01:19:53.480
Don't go out with him.

1485
01:19:53.800 --> 01:19:56.400
And I literally was this close to canceling the date.

1486
01:19:56.400 --> 01:19:58.120
I was like, maybe he's a serial killer.

1487
01:19:58.320 --> 01:19:58.800
I don't know.

1488
01:19:58.800 --> 01:19:59.800
I got so.

1489
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.360
In my got wrapped up you got in your head, right and you brought up something else

1490
01:20:04.360 --> 01:20:06.960
So some of your friends are saying oh this oh that

1491
01:20:08.120 --> 01:20:10.880
Ladies, and I'm not just saying this to you Allison

1492
01:20:10.880 --> 01:20:17.260
I'm saying it as a whole to all the ladies that are on here now and are gonna listen to the replay

1493
01:20:18.440 --> 01:20:23.120
You ladies have to be very very careful who you're listening to in your friend circles

1494
01:20:24.240 --> 01:20:25.720
Okay

1495
01:20:25.720 --> 01:20:29.240
Some of you are listening to some of your friends

1496
01:20:29.760 --> 01:20:33.560
So especially some of your Christian friends and some of your Christian friends don't have it right either

1497
01:20:36.160 --> 01:20:38.920
That's why it's important to come to this community, okay

1498
01:20:39.360 --> 01:20:43.000
We're here to help you. You're here by divine appointment

1499
01:20:43.640 --> 01:20:46.800
Alright, we got to be careful of the noise that we're hearing

1500
01:20:47.440 --> 01:20:50.680
From other people other friends all that kind of stuff

1501
01:20:51.560 --> 01:20:55.600
Because some of those friends they're not getting the same coaching and the teaching

1502
01:20:56.880 --> 01:21:00.240
Here that I know works y'all. I've

1503
01:21:00.920 --> 01:21:02.920
It's been almost five years

1504
01:21:03.480 --> 01:21:07.680
Like this this movement started in 2020. It's 2025

1505
01:21:08.640 --> 01:21:11.280
Okay, five years. I've seen

1506
01:21:12.520 --> 01:21:14.520
What we teach here

1507
01:21:15.200 --> 01:21:17.160
supernaturally

1508
01:21:17.160 --> 01:21:19.160
Do some amazing things

1509
01:21:19.160 --> 01:21:25.480
Okay, so we what let's come here. Let's build relationship here. Let's share those things like again

1510
01:21:25.480 --> 01:21:31.800
It's always like be careful on who like discern. Who do you talk to? Who do you not in your friend group?

1511
01:21:31.920 --> 01:21:33.920
There were some friends that I knew

1512
01:21:34.400 --> 01:21:40.280
They had a negative pessimistic attitude about about marriage about being single

1513
01:21:41.920 --> 01:21:47.920
And ladies be careful, especially in some of your married friends some of your married friends are unhappy in their marriages

1514
01:21:49.560 --> 01:21:54.320
And they're gonna give you a bunch of garbage because they're not happy in their marriages

1515
01:21:55.920 --> 01:21:57.920
Okay

1516
01:21:58.160 --> 01:22:00.160
Marriage is not easy

1517
01:22:00.920 --> 01:22:02.360
and

1518
01:22:02.360 --> 01:22:04.360
So you got to be careful

1519
01:22:04.920 --> 01:22:06.920
All right

1520
01:22:08.600 --> 01:22:14.760
All right, thank you, you're welcome. All right, Michelle, how are you good?

1521
01:22:15.360 --> 01:22:21.080
Mm-hmm. I bet this has kind of been a recurring issue for me. I

1522
01:22:23.400 --> 01:22:26.480
Even before doing this program I I

1523
01:22:27.400 --> 01:22:33.080
Look a lot younger than I am. And so now I just joined a dating site and

1524
01:22:33.840 --> 01:22:35.840
You know typically guys

1525
01:22:37.920 --> 01:22:42.720
My age or older they look a lot older than me and

1526
01:22:44.760 --> 01:22:48.760
I look at that and I I think you know for me personally, I've never been married

1527
01:22:51.120 --> 01:22:57.320
I've never had children, you know, I've been a Christian for 26 years waiting for my husband

1528
01:22:57.320 --> 01:23:01.040
I just had to do a lot a lot a lot of healing work

1529
01:23:01.320 --> 01:23:05.600
Yeah, and so when I look at these photos of the men that are around my age

1530
01:23:06.280 --> 01:23:12.000
I'm like they're winding down in their life, you know, and I feel like I'm just starting and

1531
01:23:12.760 --> 01:23:17.880
So it's it's been kind of discouraging for me because of course like

1532
01:23:18.920 --> 01:23:21.800
Men that are like 10 or 15 years younger

1533
01:23:21.800 --> 01:23:23.960
They're not interested in someone my age

1534
01:23:23.960 --> 01:23:31.360
which I totally get and there are small percentages that will be open to something like that, but there are few and far between and

1535
01:23:34.000 --> 01:23:36.760
Yeah, so I don't know I've just been like

1536
01:23:37.760 --> 01:23:39.840
Looking at these photos and I'm like, ah

1537
01:23:40.280 --> 01:23:46.040
Like they just look so I think I will encourage you is again. They're just photos

1538
01:23:46.760 --> 01:23:54.640
Okay, some people are just not photogenic guys are not always the greatest at posting like photogenic pictures of themselves

1539
01:23:56.080 --> 01:24:02.560
My husband when I saw photos of him, I didn't think he was physically that attractive

1540
01:24:02.640 --> 01:24:05.640
You know, there was a lot of things that he said in his

1541
01:24:06.360 --> 01:24:07.640
profile

1542
01:24:07.640 --> 01:24:13.320
That was interesting that I was like, wow, like there's some good. There's some good fruit there

1543
01:24:13.320 --> 01:24:15.320
At least that's what I could discern

1544
01:24:16.160 --> 01:24:21.720
Now I like again, this was a friend of mine saw his profile in

1545
01:24:22.240 --> 01:24:26.160
A group and she reached out to him to connect with me

1546
01:24:26.160 --> 01:24:28.720
But she screenshot it all and shared it with me

1547
01:24:28.720 --> 01:24:32.640
And so again, I'm looking at it and I'm like, okay, he's an okay-looking guy

1548
01:24:32.640 --> 01:24:37.680
But he I was not physically attracted to him, but I read through his stuff and I was like, okay

1549
01:24:37.680 --> 01:24:44.400
I'm interested in getting to know him. So again, we may not feel the physical attraction

1550
01:24:44.400 --> 01:24:49.320
I don't want you to get hung up to the point that you're just you know

1551
01:24:49.320 --> 01:24:54.120
You're putting men in a category without truly spending time to get to know them

1552
01:24:55.120 --> 01:24:57.120
Okay

1553
01:24:57.120 --> 01:24:59.680
Okay, like

1554
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:06.600
that can create some blocks because now like if you're gonna do that like are

1555
01:25:06.600 --> 01:25:11.640
you really gonna be open to meeting people like we got how are you getting

1556
01:25:11.640 --> 01:25:16.280
out on dates are you conversing with guys like what's that look like for you

1557
01:25:16.280 --> 01:25:26.160
right now yeah I mean I met someone New Year's Eve and I might have accidentally

1558
01:25:26.160 --> 01:25:30.280
friend-zoned him again he's like 15 years younger than me or he could have

1559
01:25:30.280 --> 01:25:36.040
maybe figured out the math and friend-zoned me and so now I started

1560
01:25:36.040 --> 01:25:42.760
online dating and yeah and that's kind of like what I'm fine yeah let's put

1561
01:25:42.760 --> 01:25:46.960
let's get you into practice that just like again go into it with this you know

1562
01:25:46.960 --> 01:25:51.560
open mindset of I'm just gonna get to know some some new people I'm gonna put

1563
01:25:51.560 --> 01:25:56.120
these dating skills into practice and we're gonna go from there because ladies

1564
01:25:56.120 --> 01:26:01.800
part of us you know encouraging new ladies to get out and to date is

1565
01:26:01.800 --> 01:26:06.160
because there's gonna be heart work that's tied to dating there's gonna be

1566
01:26:06.160 --> 01:26:09.960
things that the Lord wants to reveal and work in through work in you and through

1567
01:26:09.960 --> 01:26:15.560
you to get you prepared for marriage but if we're sitting here and we're you know

1568
01:26:15.560 --> 01:26:21.520
putting up blocks and and walls to not even put ourselves in front of some of

1569
01:26:21.520 --> 01:26:27.520
these men we're not allowing ourselves to opportunity to okay so again Michelle

1570
01:26:27.520 --> 01:26:34.560
I I really think our activation of listening to that supernatural Saturday

1571
01:26:34.560 --> 01:26:40.520
mm-hmm and you know spending some time just to realize what are you being

1572
01:26:40.520 --> 01:26:48.400
distracted from that's keeping you from what God wants to do think that'll be

1573
01:26:48.400 --> 01:26:55.960
really really good okay okay sounds good thank you okay awesome all right I

1574
01:26:55.960 --> 01:27:00.000
think Melissa to jump off yeah we're almost at an hour and 30 minutes I got

1575
01:27:00.000 --> 01:27:04.320
two more I got Brittany I can't wait to hear from Brittany and then Amanda I

1576
01:27:04.320 --> 01:27:10.920
know that ebony expressed have you come and share so we can process with you is

1577
01:27:10.920 --> 01:27:14.960
there anybody else that has like a burning question that they're gonna want

1578
01:27:14.960 --> 01:27:21.120
to have me unpack with you if so go ahead and put your hand up now I do

1579
01:27:21.120 --> 01:27:26.360
want to allow the time for it but if not I'm just gonna take Brittany and Amanda

1580
01:27:26.360 --> 01:27:29.880
Bernice did you want to did you want to unpack something I know you had a

1581
01:27:29.880 --> 01:27:37.240
question in the chat okay good okay all right Brittany what do you got all right

1582
01:27:37.240 --> 01:27:41.400
so I had a question it was just something that came up with like my

1583
01:27:41.400 --> 01:27:45.320
brother because I have a younger brother so he's in a really nice

1584
01:27:45.320 --> 01:27:50.240
relationship with his girlfriend and I also have a childhood friend who's now

1585
01:27:50.240 --> 01:27:54.880
getting married so she's been with her person for about five years so I did

1586
01:27:54.880 --> 01:27:58.960
tell them like they were the first two people that I told because they knew I

1587
01:27:58.960 --> 01:28:05.840
was going to meet Michael this weekend and and so I asked I told him about like

1588
01:28:05.840 --> 01:28:10.800
you know we enter into level three like that kind of relationship and I asked

1589
01:28:10.800 --> 01:28:15.560
him how long did it take for them to bring to bring them over around like

1590
01:28:15.560 --> 01:28:18.640
other family members and parents and things like that because I know for my

1591
01:28:18.640 --> 01:28:26.960
brother it was I want to say about four or five months in and so yeah so I I

1592
01:28:26.960 --> 01:28:30.640
understand because we him and I know like how my mom and my dad is more my

1593
01:28:30.640 --> 01:28:36.640
mom and my other friend who's getting married she mentioned that it took her

1594
01:28:36.960 --> 01:28:42.400
months I just wanted to know how long is too long before introducing someone like

1595
01:28:42.400 --> 01:28:46.080
a partner into family yeah so this is gonna be different from everybody

1596
01:28:46.080 --> 01:28:52.840
because everybody has different family dynamics okay I know off the top of my

1597
01:28:52.840 --> 01:28:57.400
head I remember I mean and I you know obviously I was in the program with

1598
01:28:57.400 --> 01:29:01.240
Bethany when we were both dating and meeting our husbands and things of that

1599
01:29:01.240 --> 01:29:06.600
nature and and she'll express and I'm sure she'd be okay with me sharing this

1600
01:29:06.600 --> 01:29:12.720
with you ladies is you know her family dynamic wasn't super healthy and so when

1601
01:29:12.720 --> 01:29:20.240
she met Brian and and she was getting to know him and they were discussing to you

1602
01:29:20.240 --> 01:29:24.600
know be in a level three relationship and looking at engagement she did not

1603
01:29:24.600 --> 01:29:29.600
bring Brian around right away but and to her family because the dynamic was

1604
01:29:29.600 --> 01:29:36.200
different but instead she brought them around other people that were healthy in

1605
01:29:36.200 --> 01:29:42.440
her life that weren't more like family so it was like friends that she

1606
01:29:42.440 --> 01:29:47.920
considered family she introduced him to and they hung out and did stuff together

1607
01:29:47.920 --> 01:29:54.480
so I don't think that it has to be like it's not really it's not a timeline sort

1608
01:29:54.480 --> 01:29:58.920
of thing but it's like as you get into level three relationship with someone

1609
01:29:58.920 --> 01:30:01.960
which you are now are which I

1610
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:06.480
super excited. Um, it's bringing them around healthy people. As

1611
01:30:06.480 --> 01:30:09.440
you are starting to bring that in, like I know, you know,

1612
01:30:09.440 --> 01:30:13.120
Bethany had chose to move from Kentucky to Indiana to be closer

1613
01:30:13.120 --> 01:30:17.840
to Brian, so that they could, you know, really see if, you

1614
01:30:17.840 --> 01:30:20.560
know, marriage was a possibility. And so she got in

1615
01:30:20.560 --> 01:30:24.880
close proximity, I do know that she didn't let her family know

1616
01:30:24.920 --> 01:30:29.320
right away that she was doing that. And so I know even her mom

1617
01:30:29.320 --> 01:30:32.880
was, you know, a bit discouraged and upset. But

1618
01:30:32.880 --> 01:30:37.360
Bethany had to really put up some really strong boundaries

1619
01:30:37.360 --> 01:30:42.440
because she like, she knew how unhealthy some of her family

1620
01:30:42.440 --> 01:30:48.400
members were. So just really matters of, you know, who's

1621
01:30:48.400 --> 01:30:52.200
healthy, who's not healthy in your inner circle family and

1622
01:30:52.200 --> 01:30:55.760
that nature. So if you have, ladies, I know some of you come

1623
01:30:55.760 --> 01:31:01.720
from some really toxic family backgrounds. Okay, and so it may

1624
01:31:01.720 --> 01:31:07.160
not be ideal for you to bring that toxicity, because here's

1625
01:31:07.160 --> 01:31:10.200
the thing. And I also when I got in a relationship, like I didn't

1626
01:31:10.200 --> 01:31:12.960
let a lot of people know right away, because there were going

1627
01:31:12.960 --> 01:31:15.480
to be people in my life that were probably going to be like

1628
01:31:15.520 --> 01:31:19.640
discouraging. And I didn't want that being spoken over my

1629
01:31:19.640 --> 01:31:24.080
relationship. And so I let my close people that I knew were

1630
01:31:24.080 --> 01:31:29.240
going to lift me and my now husband up and pray for us and

1631
01:31:29.240 --> 01:31:35.400
what God wanted to do. I let those people in first. Okay, and

1632
01:31:35.400 --> 01:31:40.120
then as there was, you know, again, like, I knew that that

1633
01:31:40.120 --> 01:31:43.720
was strong. And so then that way, when I started, you know,

1634
01:31:43.760 --> 01:31:47.800
bringing in other people that might, you know, not see it as a

1635
01:31:47.800 --> 01:31:52.080
positive thing, then, then I at least knew that I had the

1636
01:31:52.080 --> 01:31:54.560
support of the people that were really important to me that

1637
01:31:54.560 --> 01:31:58.840
were really healthy in my life. So it's gonna be, it's just

1638
01:31:58.840 --> 01:32:03.600
gonna be like, what is your family dynamic? Okay, and it

1639
01:32:03.600 --> 01:32:04.560
doesn't have to be rushed.

1640
01:32:05.280 --> 01:32:08.360
Yes, that's, that's something that Michael and I were talking

1641
01:32:08.360 --> 01:32:11.360
about, because I brought it up to him and just having that

1642
01:32:11.360 --> 01:32:14.680
conversation. And so he even said, like, I was like, we both

1643
01:32:14.680 --> 01:32:18.400
weren't in a rush, obviously. So yeah, he just said, whenever we

1644
01:32:18.400 --> 01:32:21.960
felt like it was time to be able to, you know, bring, bring

1645
01:32:21.960 --> 01:32:23.960
each other around family and stuff. I was like, yeah, that's

1646
01:32:23.960 --> 01:32:27.440
perfectly fine. Because I do have a few family members that

1647
01:32:27.720 --> 01:32:32.600
are toxic, my mom can kind of go that route if I do bring someone

1648
01:32:32.600 --> 01:32:37.680
home. And so I just want to make sure that I'm able to do this

1649
01:32:37.680 --> 01:32:39.280
like, well, basically, so

1650
01:32:39.320 --> 01:32:42.360
yeah, again, it's just it really is about creating really good

1651
01:32:42.360 --> 01:32:45.120
healthy boundaries, which you've, you've watched the

1652
01:32:45.120 --> 01:32:47.520
boundaries video, right? Like I knew, I think you're, you're

1653
01:32:47.520 --> 01:32:50.760
almost on that verge of going to phase three, right? Yes. In

1654
01:32:50.800 --> 01:32:53.040
community, that's good. I'm gonna be sad when you leave, but

1655
01:32:53.040 --> 01:32:55.320
I know it's gonna be good for you're gonna get so many great

1656
01:32:55.320 --> 01:32:59.400
things in phase three. But yeah, you know, keeping good healthy

1657
01:32:59.400 --> 01:33:02.680
boundaries with family, especially now that you're in

1658
01:33:02.680 --> 01:33:05.920
that level three is going to be important. And again,

1659
01:33:05.920 --> 01:33:08.920
communication, ladies, communication in any

1660
01:33:08.920 --> 01:33:11.960
relationship is super important. So again, just continue to

1661
01:33:11.960 --> 01:33:14.600
practice that healthy communication. From what I've

1662
01:33:14.600 --> 01:33:18.280
seen, and what you've shared, you know, it really does sound

1663
01:33:18.280 --> 01:33:22.120
really good with Michael. I mean, just that whole process,

1664
01:33:22.120 --> 01:33:23.240
like I have had

1665
01:33:25.160 --> 01:33:29.720
an ease in my heart with your walk and what and how that's all

1666
01:33:29.720 --> 01:33:34.400
progressed. So just continue that pacing and you'll be fine,

1667
01:33:34.480 --> 01:33:36.960
you know, and just I'm excited for you.

1668
01:33:38.120 --> 01:33:41.280
I'll be sadly this phase because I really enjoyed being here for

1669
01:33:41.280 --> 01:33:44.920
some time. And yeah, it's just Yeah, I have that same I have

1670
01:33:44.920 --> 01:33:46.600
that same thing like that that ease.

1671
01:33:47.760 --> 01:33:50.240
There's a piece. Yeah, there's just a lot of peace in that.

1672
01:33:50.240 --> 01:33:53.760
So yeah, I get it. And I see it. I can discern that. And that's

1673
01:33:53.760 --> 01:33:56.640
why I'm excited for you. And even when you're in phase three,

1674
01:33:56.640 --> 01:33:59.800
I do I do pop into phase three and like read up.

1675
01:34:02.240 --> 01:34:05.720
Like I just did that the other day and I was like looking. And

1676
01:34:05.720 --> 01:34:10.000
I was like, Oh, like, and so I do do my best to try to, you

1677
01:34:10.000 --> 01:34:12.240
know, pop in every now and then when you ladies move to phase

1678
01:34:12.240 --> 01:34:15.120
three. No, I don't like y'all like leaving me all to all

1679
01:34:15.120 --> 01:34:21.040
together. But so I just know I'm I'm always in the background.

1680
01:34:22.840 --> 01:34:26.120
Appreciate it. Awesome. Thank you, Brittany. Thank you. Hey,

1681
01:34:26.120 --> 01:34:27.520
Amanda. How are you?

1682
01:34:30.920 --> 01:34:31.520
I'm good.

1683
01:34:33.240 --> 01:34:36.160
You'll have to kind of, you know, give me the the quick

1684
01:34:36.160 --> 01:34:40.320
version of what I mean, I saw a little bit but remind me

1685
01:34:40.320 --> 01:34:43.840
refresh my memory. What's happening? And what was it that

1686
01:34:43.840 --> 01:34:47.160
ebony because I did briefly see that ebony wanted you to jump

1687
01:34:47.160 --> 01:34:52.440
in. So, um, one of the things is like with the dating and stuff,

1688
01:34:52.440 --> 01:34:58.880
like, I got really overwhelmed when I got into stage two, like

1689
01:34:58.880 --> 01:35:00.080
I was really, really excited.

1690
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:04.760
it and really ready to start. And then I think the first lesson I was like

1691
01:35:04.760 --> 01:35:08.760
crying because I was like, it's so overwhelming. I can't do it. You know?

1692
01:35:09.120 --> 01:35:13.760
And so in that meantime, um, a former boyfriend from,

1693
01:35:14.480 --> 01:35:16.000
we broke up 2019.

1694
01:35:16.560 --> 01:35:20.320
I think I remember this. You came to a live and you, you, you, right. Okay.

1695
01:35:20.440 --> 01:35:24.440
I did. He tried to circle back. Like he's been involved in my life.

1696
01:35:24.440 --> 01:35:25.680
We've been friends, you know,

1697
01:35:26.040 --> 01:35:29.160
but he tried to circle back in before I even started the program. And I was like,

1698
01:35:29.160 --> 01:35:32.320
okay, I'm starting this program, you know, and stuff.

1699
01:35:32.320 --> 01:35:37.080
And so then he circled back again and I know he wants exclusivity, you know,

1700
01:35:37.080 --> 01:35:40.880
and then like some positive things in like the conversations that we've had is

1701
01:35:40.880 --> 01:35:44.320
like, um, there's some remorse. There's some like, Hey,

1702
01:35:44.320 --> 01:35:48.040
I wish I would have been more mature back then. Like, yeah,

1703
01:35:48.080 --> 01:35:49.840
that kind of stuff. Like, you know,

1704
01:35:50.480 --> 01:35:55.400
so now that, now that you, you had that, so what, um,

1705
01:35:56.400 --> 01:35:59.680
have you seen any fruit of what,

1706
01:36:01.120 --> 01:36:03.000
that he has done some healing?

1707
01:36:03.360 --> 01:36:05.840
So I have been watching like intention and stuff,

1708
01:36:05.840 --> 01:36:08.960
like being more intentional and then like listening to the things that I say,

1709
01:36:08.960 --> 01:36:11.400
like where, where a pattern similar, where are they different?

1710
01:36:11.800 --> 01:36:16.440
And so I know that I see effort. That's what I do see effort, you know?

1711
01:36:17.640 --> 01:36:21.040
And then my caution is, it's like, it's kind of like this, it's like,

1712
01:36:21.080 --> 01:36:24.080
I don't want to, I'm like, I went this far. Did I come this far?

1713
01:36:25.560 --> 01:36:27.960
And then I'm not even going to try anywhere else. You know,

1714
01:36:28.240 --> 01:36:31.720
like I don't want to jump into something exclusive, but then

1715
01:36:32.680 --> 01:36:36.440
I don't want fears are coming up. Like what are those fears rooted in?

1716
01:36:36.440 --> 01:36:40.160
Like where are those anxious thoughts? What are you believing?

1717
01:36:40.440 --> 01:36:44.600
So I think it's also, it all comes down to like the rejection,

1718
01:36:44.640 --> 01:36:48.560
like the rejections resurfacing. Um, some other things that have come,

1719
01:36:48.600 --> 01:36:49.960
I've watched the divine feminine,

1720
01:36:49.960 --> 01:36:52.280
like I've been really slow in some of the videos, you know,

1721
01:36:53.000 --> 01:36:57.560
so it was pretty overwhelming at first. I did not expect that at all. Um,

1722
01:36:58.200 --> 01:37:00.000
but I was watching some of the things and I,

1723
01:37:00.000 --> 01:37:02.480
I even put another post out there cause I was like, okay,

1724
01:37:02.800 --> 01:37:04.240
is there something that I've been doing?

1725
01:37:04.240 --> 01:37:08.480
That's like unintentional cause I didn't mean to like it's inadvertently,

1726
01:37:08.600 --> 01:37:10.240
you know, I'm not trying to do this.

1727
01:37:10.240 --> 01:37:12.040
It's not something that I'm looking to do,

1728
01:37:12.040 --> 01:37:15.360
but I've noticed that there's a group of men that I could have,

1729
01:37:15.520 --> 01:37:16.960
this could be church friends.

1730
01:37:16.960 --> 01:37:20.440
It could be coworkers completely appropriate, completely platonic.

1731
01:37:20.840 --> 01:37:24.200
And I feel like, Oh, that's divine feminine.

1732
01:37:24.200 --> 01:37:27.400
They like see me in that feminine role. They're very protective.

1733
01:37:28.000 --> 01:37:32.880
But then you also expressed how in relation, more of a relational year,

1734
01:37:32.920 --> 01:37:35.280
you're not positioning yourself there.

1735
01:37:35.360 --> 01:37:38.640
I don't feel like I'm being viewed in that same way.

1736
01:37:38.680 --> 01:37:43.680
Okay. So where do you think that root is in relationship where,

1737
01:37:43.720 --> 01:37:48.160
I mean, have you been hurt in past relationship? Was there, um,

1738
01:37:49.160 --> 01:37:52.360
any, any signs of rejection?

1739
01:37:52.360 --> 01:37:56.280
Like what's happened and occurred in your past?

1740
01:37:56.280 --> 01:38:01.280
When did you originally feel that sense of rejection?

1741
01:38:01.560 --> 01:38:06.560
Or I think even that was it, is it more along that sexual nature?

1742
01:38:08.000 --> 01:38:11.200
I think there's some, like, I think that's all like,

1743
01:38:11.200 --> 01:38:13.920
that's what I'm asking the Holy spirit to like really put it.

1744
01:38:13.920 --> 01:38:16.360
Cause I think it's all encompassing because I have,

1745
01:38:16.640 --> 01:38:21.440
I've had some trauma with rejection. Like, um, I'm a single mother.

1746
01:38:21.440 --> 01:38:26.200
I'm unwed. I'm very quick relationship. Very right there with you, girl.

1747
01:38:26.240 --> 01:38:30.560
I get to her very, very quick. Um, like it happened very quickly.

1748
01:38:30.760 --> 01:38:35.480
I was pregnant very quickly. Um, and then we were left very quickly,

1749
01:38:35.840 --> 01:38:39.720
you know, so it was that kind of stuff. So dealing with that,

1750
01:38:40.360 --> 01:38:44.120
have you, do you, so when you were in heartwork,

1751
01:38:44.120 --> 01:38:46.280
did you address any of that stuff?

1752
01:38:46.480 --> 01:38:50.960
I addressed all of those things. Then I noticed, like, like I said,

1753
01:38:50.960 --> 01:38:53.200
I was noticing some pattern. Like when it went,

1754
01:38:53.280 --> 01:38:56.320
when I was watching the divine feminine video,

1755
01:38:56.320 --> 01:38:58.760
I was just noticing a separate pattern. I was like,

1756
01:38:58.760 --> 01:39:03.760
did that communicate to me somewhere that like my value comes in sexuality,

1757
01:39:05.000 --> 01:39:08.800
sensuality, the abhorment, seduction, you know?

1758
01:39:09.280 --> 01:39:13.560
So this is, this is all good. So, and, and what, what I'm,

1759
01:39:13.560 --> 01:39:16.720
I'm feeling Holy spirit on right now.

1760
01:39:16.720 --> 01:39:21.200
And what I feel like I can share with you, I empathize,

1761
01:39:21.360 --> 01:39:25.080
empathize with where you're at, because I have,

1762
01:39:25.080 --> 01:39:26.680
I think I have a very similar story.

1763
01:39:27.880 --> 01:39:32.000
I got pregnant very quickly into a relationship with somebody.

1764
01:39:32.560 --> 01:39:37.560
I was not married and got, I mean, it was within a month.

1765
01:39:38.880 --> 01:39:42.680
Like it was very quickly. And when I got pregnant,

1766
01:39:43.640 --> 01:39:44.600
everything flipped.

1767
01:39:45.840 --> 01:39:49.800
And then my son's dad left me seven months.

1768
01:39:49.800 --> 01:39:53.720
Pregnant was very quick. There was a lot of rejection there.

1769
01:39:53.720 --> 01:39:56.840
There was a lot of hurt. There was a lot of trauma. And in my heart work,

1770
01:39:56.880 --> 01:39:59.920
I had worked through that. And I also worked some stuff through.

1771
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:06.800
my family. What I will express that once we get, again, we start getting into that process

1772
01:40:06.800 --> 01:40:11.760
of dating, things will start coming up to the surface because there's going to be some

1773
01:40:11.760 --> 01:40:19.720
revealings for healing here. Okay. I, we can think that we have, have worked through the

1774
01:40:19.720 --> 01:40:25.360
heart work and it not saying that you didn't, you, you have, but it's almost like an onion

1775
01:40:25.360 --> 01:40:43.240
to that. Okay. And so I know that when I was in my season, okay, so I've dealt with some

1776
01:40:43.240 --> 01:40:48.320
stuff with my son's dad, the healing, okay. The heart work stuff that I had to do. And

1777
01:40:48.320 --> 01:40:54.320
then when I was in, still in the program, obviously, and you know, done, done my forgiveness

1778
01:40:54.320 --> 01:40:59.920
stuff with all of that, there was still stuff that surfaced with my worth, my value. And

1779
01:40:59.920 --> 01:41:05.720
there were situations that happened that would trigger me. And so those are, there can be

1780
01:41:05.720 --> 01:41:10.440
times where those things are just going to surface. And it's, it's nothing to be scared

1781
01:41:10.440 --> 01:41:16.000
of. It's literally, it's now it's just sitting with the Lord and processing through that

1782
01:41:16.000 --> 01:41:23.160
and, and really asking for more, for more clarity. And so that's what I would encourage

1783
01:41:23.720 --> 01:41:28.800
is that, you know, you sit and process some of that stuff. And so that's why I'm asking

1784
01:41:28.800 --> 01:41:34.320
you like, what belief systems are you aligning with going back, asking the Holy spirit of

1785
01:41:34.320 --> 01:41:43.040
like, where did that lie come in? What situation in my life happened where I felt that same

1786
01:41:43.040 --> 01:41:50.200
rejection, or I felt, you know, abandoned or rejected, or, you know, what sexual trauma

1787
01:41:50.200 --> 01:41:56.240
maybe have I experienced that that root came in, Lord, help me heal that area. What, and

1788
01:41:56.240 --> 01:42:01.280
again, ladies, it is so important in this process. It's again, remembering what we talk

1789
01:42:01.280 --> 01:42:09.680
about in phase one and heart work. It's not just acknowledging the lie, or the belief,

1790
01:42:09.680 --> 01:42:16.400
you can't erase it, you have to replace it. You can't just say, Oh, okay, I got rid of

1791
01:42:16.400 --> 01:42:24.360
it. No, because if you don't replace it with something, it won't come back in. So that

1792
01:42:24.360 --> 01:42:28.920
I think, you might start just seeing some of that stuff, you might start seeing some

1793
01:42:28.920 --> 01:42:33.400
of that stuff surface. And so it's really going to be time to sit with the Lord and

1794
01:42:33.400 --> 01:42:38.160
really, um, I think what kind of happened was like, it's like an onion peel. So like

1795
01:42:38.200 --> 01:42:42.320
I feel and I might have even pulled a couple layers, like through heart work. And I feel

1796
01:42:42.320 --> 01:42:46.480
like I really did, I really feel like I had some major, major breakthrough. But I think

1797
01:42:46.480 --> 01:42:50.240
that coming again, and going through this, I was like, Okay, so some of this was deeper

1798
01:42:50.240 --> 01:42:55.160
than I even realized. And like, even with the even talking with or dating the person

1799
01:42:55.160 --> 01:43:00.080
from the past, like, as part of it, it's almost like, we've said it before, like, when is

1800
01:43:00.080 --> 01:43:05.320
the shoe gonna drop? Yeah, you know, we we dated for a really long time. And still after

1801
01:43:05.320 --> 01:43:09.280
that, so it's like that trust is coming in there, you know, all different types of things.

1802
01:43:09.480 --> 01:43:14.360
And so it's like, well, when do I become exclusive? And then I'm an anxious attacher. But

1803
01:43:14.360 --> 01:43:16.200
then I'm also avoidant as well. Like,

1804
01:43:16.560 --> 01:43:18.160
you got the two, right? Yep.

1805
01:43:19.640 --> 01:43:23.400
Really quick. And then I noticed that I talked really quick. And then I'm like, Okay, let

1806
01:43:23.400 --> 01:43:24.120
me pull back.

1807
01:43:25.320 --> 01:43:29.640
Might be what's surfacing right now. And you're recognizing like you anxiously attach now

1808
01:43:29.640 --> 01:43:35.760
you're wanting to avoid. So again, it's going back, like, what are we believing? Okay, what

1809
01:43:35.760 --> 01:43:41.760
counterfeit am I operating in right now? And what does God want to, you know, impart to

1810
01:43:41.760 --> 01:43:45.960
me? What does he want to show me? What does he want to heal me from in this in this

1811
01:43:45.960 --> 01:43:49.200
situation, this opportunity, because ladies, when y'all are getting into these dating

1812
01:43:49.200 --> 01:43:54.280
experiences, there is going to be so much opportunity for growth and healing. Like it's a

1813
01:43:54.320 --> 01:44:00.080
process, like you said, like, it's, it's this onion. Okay. God doesn't come in. And then

1814
01:44:00.080 --> 01:44:04.800
just literally, like when, when we invite the Holy Spirit to come in, and especially when

1815
01:44:04.800 --> 01:44:09.760
we're new believers, does God come in and just be like, Okay, now you've accepted me now

1816
01:44:09.760 --> 01:44:14.160
I'm gonna tell you everything that you're doing wrong. Oh, he doesn't do that. He's so

1817
01:44:14.160 --> 01:44:20.400
gentle with us. He's not going to just like start coming in and ransacking our house, and

1818
01:44:20.400 --> 01:44:25.280
like pulling everything out. He's not going to do that. All right, he's going to be gentle

1819
01:44:25.280 --> 01:44:32.160
with us because we because here's the thing that he's, God knows, we can't sustain that.

1820
01:44:33.920 --> 01:44:38.600
All right, he's going to be gentle with our spirit. And we have to be open to him coming

1821
01:44:38.600 --> 01:44:44.600
in. And he's going to start just working and cultivating that soil in our heart and start

1822
01:44:44.600 --> 01:44:51.720
working through, you know, all those areas because ladies, when you get in a marriage, it

1823
01:44:51.720 --> 01:44:57.960
doesn't just stop. It doesn't Okay, there's so much stuff that I am even still having to do

1824
01:44:57.960 --> 01:45:00.080
hard work on in my marriage.

1825
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:03.960
in my blending my family. You know, I struggle with a lot of

1826
01:45:03.960 --> 01:45:08.600
control. I struggle with a lot of trusting the Lord, because I

1827
01:45:08.600 --> 01:45:14.960
don't want things in my time, mine, mine, mine. Right. And

1828
01:45:15.240 --> 01:45:19.480
there's stuff that still comes up. And so that's important that

1829
01:45:19.480 --> 01:45:24.760
again, like, just processing through that, like really

1830
01:45:24.760 --> 01:45:28.480
working on that stuff. Let's not get you know, again, it's just

1831
01:45:28.720 --> 01:45:33.280
what, what are you believing? And where can we replace the

1832
01:45:33.280 --> 01:45:38.280
line number believing with his truth? So again, sometimes it's

1833
01:45:38.280 --> 01:45:41.800
going back to that heartwork stuff, go back and revisit some

1834
01:45:41.800 --> 01:45:45.520
of those, some of those videos, some of those chapters, like

1835
01:45:45.520 --> 01:45:51.880
what is being highlighted to you? Okay. Does that help?

1836
01:45:52.320 --> 01:45:56.600
Yeah, it does. And like, and I will say to like, I've even I

1837
01:45:56.600 --> 01:45:59.960
will even be able to say that, regardless of what happens with

1838
01:45:59.960 --> 01:46:04.160
this relationship with this former, I feel like there's some

1839
01:46:04.880 --> 01:46:07.920
divineness in it. Because there was some healing from like

1840
01:46:07.920 --> 01:46:10.920
conversations that we've had, like, he and I didn't realize

1841
01:46:10.920 --> 01:46:13.760
that, like I said, in if you read anything from the comments

1842
01:46:13.800 --> 01:46:17.840
that I left, we were both a mess, you know. And so then

1843
01:46:18.000 --> 01:46:22.720
whenever we're coming back, now, we can speak to that mess a

1844
01:46:22.720 --> 01:46:25.640
little bit, you know, meaning like not excusing, but just like,

1845
01:46:25.640 --> 01:46:29.680
hey, this is something that I thought. And both of us having

1846
01:46:29.680 --> 01:46:33.160
times where like, that wasn't what was going on at all. Yeah,

1847
01:46:33.160 --> 01:46:37.600
you know, and so that's some way to get some healing there. And a

1848
01:46:37.600 --> 01:46:39.960
lot of people don't get that a lot of people don't have that

1849
01:46:39.960 --> 01:46:43.080
opportunity. They have to figure that out for themselves. But

1850
01:46:43.200 --> 01:46:49.520
yeah, absolutely. But be gentle with yourself. Okay. Okay. Again,

1851
01:46:49.560 --> 01:46:53.000
be gentle with yourself. Give yourself grace and mercy here.

1852
01:46:53.000 --> 01:46:56.760
Okay, like this is not stuff that's gonna happen overnight.

1853
01:46:56.800 --> 01:47:01.600
Okay. Now, can it happen supernaturally be accelerated

1854
01:47:01.600 --> 01:47:05.320
supernaturally? Absolutely. You know, but again, we have to be

1855
01:47:05.320 --> 01:47:09.280
gentle. Okay. For some of us that you know, it's it's, you

1856
01:47:09.280 --> 01:47:12.920
know, many decades of just, you know, stuff that we've gotten

1857
01:47:12.920 --> 01:47:16.160
ourselves into and lies that we believed and the counterfeit

1858
01:47:16.160 --> 01:47:19.640
that we've been operating in. So now we're stepping into a new

1859
01:47:19.640 --> 01:47:23.960
self. And so sometimes that, you know, we kind of drop in, you

1860
01:47:23.960 --> 01:47:28.080
know, like we drop, we kind of fall back into that. And so it's

1861
01:47:28.080 --> 01:47:31.080
just being gentle and giving ourselves grace in that area.

1862
01:47:31.560 --> 01:47:34.840
You just know, like, it doesn't have to happen overnight. Like

1863
01:47:34.840 --> 01:47:38.480
God wants to work in you through you, you know, highlight things

1864
01:47:38.480 --> 01:47:41.960
to you. And he's going to be gentle with you. And you can be

1865
01:47:41.960 --> 01:47:44.400
gentle with you. Okay.

1866
01:47:45.360 --> 01:47:46.520
That's good. Thank you.

1867
01:47:47.520 --> 01:47:49.480
Um, Bernie, is your battery up?

1868
01:47:51.480 --> 01:47:55.400
Good. Are we are we good? We're gonna we're gonna try it. You're

1869
01:47:55.400 --> 01:47:58.440
you're not muted, or you're muted. unmute.

1870
01:47:59.560 --> 01:48:00.880
I'm sorry, my

1871
01:48:02.640 --> 01:48:06.320
if you have to, if you have to, you can turn your video off.

1872
01:48:06.320 --> 01:48:11.640
Sometimes that helps. Okay, I can hear you. But if that will

1873
01:48:11.640 --> 01:48:14.840
help, there we go. Okay. But I can hear you.

1874
01:48:15.440 --> 01:48:18.480
Okay, thank you. I was just wondering,

1875
01:48:20.120 --> 01:48:25.200
like, my new friend, he's, he's really close with his family.

1876
01:48:25.200 --> 01:48:31.200
And also, a lot of his pictures that he posted are of his

1877
01:48:31.200 --> 01:48:39.720
daughters. And, and so I, just ahead of time, I wanted to ask,

1878
01:48:39.840 --> 01:48:45.960
like, how do you get around that? Because I know that he's

1879
01:48:45.960 --> 01:48:49.160
close with his family. And he probably wants to spend a lot of

1880
01:48:49.160 --> 01:48:53.360
time with them. And not that I wouldn't, I'm kind of way down

1881
01:48:53.360 --> 01:48:54.120
the line. But

1882
01:48:56.160 --> 01:48:58.920
and also their daughters, so daughters can be a little bit

1883
01:48:58.920 --> 01:49:02.440
more possessive as well with their dads. So

1884
01:49:03.440 --> 01:49:05.120
I laugh because I understand.

1885
01:49:05.920 --> 01:49:09.280
So this guy, so you're saying when, are you saying this is a

1886
01:49:09.280 --> 01:49:11.760
guy that you met? And you met him online?

1887
01:49:12.800 --> 01:49:15.920
Yes. And he's great.

1888
01:49:15.920 --> 01:49:19.440
So in his online profile, he had pictures of his children.

1889
01:49:20.360 --> 01:49:23.520
Yeah, and a lot of his posting.

1890
01:49:24.480 --> 01:49:26.120
Okay, majority of them.

1891
01:49:27.160 --> 01:49:29.920
Like posting on like, are you saying you guys are Facebook

1892
01:49:29.920 --> 01:49:30.440
friends?

1893
01:49:30.440 --> 01:49:34.040
Okay, so he's posting a lot of stuff about his family. Okay.

1894
01:49:34.720 --> 01:49:36.080
How old are his daughters?

1895
01:49:38.480 --> 01:49:41.720
They're in their 40s, 30s, late 30s and 40s.

1896
01:49:42.240 --> 01:49:42.760
Okay.

1897
01:49:45.680 --> 01:49:49.640
So he's, okay, he's posting about, okay, so it's not like

1898
01:49:49.640 --> 01:49:52.360
they're like children. Okay, that's okay. That, that makes

1899
01:49:52.360 --> 01:49:54.760
that puts me a little more at ease. I get really, I get a

1900
01:49:54.760 --> 01:49:57.200
little bit more at ease when I'm talking to my daughters.

1901
01:49:57.960 --> 01:50:02.600
Yeah, maybe it's my husband, maybe it's my daughter because

1902
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:04.400
they get really protective when people post their young children.

1903
01:50:02.600 --> 01:50:06.240
maybe it's because of this challenge redesigning social

1904
01:50:06.240 --> 01:50:06.720
media.

1905
01:50:07.120 --> 01:50:09.640
So I'm like, you know, I'm like, whoa, wait a second.

1906
01:50:08.200 --> 01:50:09.760
How are they doing this year?

1907
01:50:11.320 --> 01:50:11.960
Crazy.

1908
01:50:11.560 --> 01:50:15.760
So you're saying that, like, is he like when he's wanting to spend time with you,

1909
01:50:15.760 --> 01:50:19.720
are you saying that he's wanting to like be around his family, too?

1910
01:50:20.880 --> 01:50:25.040
No, I have not been on a date with him yet.

1911
01:50:25.040 --> 01:50:27.640
I will be going on my first date on Saturday.

1912
01:50:28.040 --> 01:50:32.720
And so but he talks about his family a lot.

1913
01:50:32.720 --> 01:50:36.040
And then the majority of his pictures are with his family.

1914
01:50:36.360 --> 01:50:41.320
So. So, yeah, there's going to be some people.

1915
01:50:41.320 --> 01:50:45.000
I mean, there's people that do they have their family is really important to them.

1916
01:50:45.000 --> 01:50:48.160
And I don't think I don't think that is necessarily a negative thing.

1917
01:50:48.560 --> 01:50:53.640
Do you do you have a close relationship with your family?

1918
01:50:53.840 --> 01:50:55.920
What's that dynamic?

1919
01:50:56.680 --> 01:50:59.680
My family, my parents are dead.

1920
01:50:59.680 --> 01:51:03.080
I'm like an only child.

1921
01:51:03.080 --> 01:51:07.920
But I I have met sisters and brothers that I didn't know.

1922
01:51:08.600 --> 01:51:11.480
OK. Yeah. And I'm just getting to know them.

1923
01:51:11.480 --> 01:51:16.440
But yeah, I don't I don't have a whole lot of family.

1924
01:51:17.040 --> 01:51:21.480
OK, so is it I mean, I mean, and I'm going to ask you to be vulnerable here.

1925
01:51:21.480 --> 01:51:23.760
And I'm not you know, again, I'm just wondering is.

1926
01:51:24.760 --> 01:51:28.680
Is some of this uncomfortable with him being close to his family

1927
01:51:28.680 --> 01:51:31.880
because you haven't you don't have a close.

1928
01:51:32.920 --> 01:51:36.760
Relationship with your family currently and your your your parents are deceased,

1929
01:51:36.760 --> 01:51:37.960
and I'm so sorry about that.

1930
01:51:39.760 --> 01:51:43.760
Thank you. Yeah, I'm not for sure because.

1931
01:51:48.080 --> 01:51:50.160
I know, I don't know, it could be.

1932
01:51:50.760 --> 01:51:53.280
And I mean, again, and it's OK if you don't know.

1933
01:51:53.280 --> 01:51:55.920
That's fine. I'm just again, I'm just asking questions

1934
01:51:55.920 --> 01:51:58.840
just to kind of put some thoughts in and just, you know, again,

1935
01:51:59.320 --> 01:52:02.560
trying to get a feel for, you know, for this.

1936
01:52:03.240 --> 01:52:08.120
So, yeah, maybe maybe it is and it could be I don't I don't know.

1937
01:52:09.200 --> 01:52:13.600
But. I don't think it has to be a negative thing, I think, you know,

1938
01:52:13.600 --> 01:52:17.720
just again, you haven't met him on, you know, in person, you have a date set up,

1939
01:52:18.240 --> 01:52:24.400
you know, what do you think you're what is your concern with him

1940
01:52:24.400 --> 01:52:28.480
being like openly about him being close to his family?

1941
01:52:28.920 --> 01:52:33.240
That's why I like being with the family all the time

1942
01:52:33.240 --> 01:52:36.600
and and and not being with me.

1943
01:52:37.600 --> 01:52:39.400
But I can cut out a little bit

1944
01:52:39.960 --> 01:52:44.120
with this family all the time and then what you're putting them first before me.

1945
01:52:44.840 --> 01:52:48.640
OK, well, Bernice, I'm going to I'm going to say something in my not.

1946
01:52:51.000 --> 01:52:56.040
It if you haven't if you guys are not in like a committed relationship,

1947
01:52:56.040 --> 01:52:58.120
he's not going to put you before his family.

1948
01:52:59.000 --> 01:53:01.360
Does that make sense? Yeah.

1949
01:53:01.360 --> 01:53:02.760
This is still early on.

1950
01:53:02.760 --> 01:53:08.200
OK, so I let's let's make sure that we're not getting super concerned

1951
01:53:08.200 --> 01:53:11.240
about something when we again, you're still just learning

1952
01:53:12.080 --> 01:53:13.840
more about this person.

1953
01:53:13.840 --> 01:53:16.480
And it's probably not going to be healthy

1954
01:53:16.480 --> 01:53:20.000
if he's putting you above his family in this time.

1955
01:53:20.520 --> 01:53:25.320
OK, so don't project something because now if you guys hit it off

1956
01:53:25.320 --> 01:53:28.000
and you guys start, you know, dating at a level two

1957
01:53:28.000 --> 01:53:31.760
and you're getting to know each other more and that level two early stages

1958
01:53:31.760 --> 01:53:34.760
moves into later stages of level two.

1959
01:53:34.760 --> 01:53:39.080
And then you you know, we don't want to continue to keep projecting. OK.

1960
01:53:40.040 --> 01:53:46.560
So. Because currently right now, you're not in that place.

1961
01:53:47.280 --> 01:53:49.320
You don't know enough about him.

1962
01:53:49.320 --> 01:53:52.040
You haven't been on any dates with him yet.

1963
01:53:52.560 --> 01:53:55.760
So I don't want you getting overly concerned about something

1964
01:53:55.760 --> 01:53:58.520
that may or may not happen.

1965
01:53:58.520 --> 01:54:00.040
Let's not overthink it.

1966
01:54:00.040 --> 01:54:02.800
Let's go back to just enjoying the process.

1967
01:54:03.520 --> 01:54:05.600
Let's look at it is, OK, he.

1968
01:54:06.600 --> 01:54:10.680
His family is important to him, and that could be a really positive thing.

1969
01:54:11.840 --> 01:54:15.200
You know, if he has a great relationship with family.

1970
01:54:15.760 --> 01:54:18.480
Oh, what a gift.

1971
01:54:18.480 --> 01:54:20.880
What a gift.

1972
01:54:20.880 --> 01:54:24.920
And so as you get to know him, like you're learning that family

1973
01:54:24.920 --> 01:54:25.840
is important to him.

1974
01:54:25.840 --> 01:54:29.280
And so, you know, getting down on that level, maybe learning

1975
01:54:29.280 --> 01:54:32.960
a little bit more about what his life has been like with this family.

1976
01:54:32.960 --> 01:54:35.880
Why? You know, what does he enjoy about his family?

1977
01:54:35.880 --> 01:54:39.440
What? It's possible he could just have a really great relationship

1978
01:54:39.440 --> 01:54:41.520
with all of them, and that is a good thing.

1979
01:54:41.520 --> 01:54:46.960
We don't have to worry about how it's going to look in relationship quite yet

1980
01:54:47.480 --> 01:54:50.320
because you guys are not there yet.

1981
01:54:50.320 --> 01:54:52.200
All right. I would even be cautious.

1982
01:54:52.200 --> 01:54:55.720
I would say, you know, if he wants to start doing dates with you

1983
01:54:55.720 --> 01:55:00.040
where he's bringing you around family, I would maybe, you know.

1984
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:03.640
Now again, come to us, let us know what's happening

1985
01:55:03.640 --> 01:55:08.640
because I would be cautious about getting involved

1986
01:55:09.400 --> 01:55:11.440
with people's family early, early on

1987
01:55:11.440 --> 01:55:12.720
in creating these bonds,

1988
01:55:12.720 --> 01:55:15.800
but I don't necessarily think it's a negative thing

1989
01:55:15.800 --> 01:55:19.120
if you guys are taking it off and getting along.

1990
01:55:19.120 --> 01:55:22.440
Okay, but again, I would be cautious of not projecting

1991
01:55:24.640 --> 01:55:29.120
certain things that we're not even there yet.

1992
01:55:29.120 --> 01:55:30.960
Does that make sense?

1993
01:55:30.960 --> 01:55:31.880
That's good.

1994
01:55:31.880 --> 01:55:35.040
And I like to analyze things before, so.

1995
01:55:35.040 --> 01:55:35.880
I do too.

1996
01:55:37.400 --> 01:55:38.560
I do too.

1997
01:55:38.560 --> 01:55:40.760
It's gonna be important for you to continue

1998
01:55:40.760 --> 01:55:43.160
to stay connected with us in community and let us know,

1999
01:55:43.160 --> 01:55:46.400
like help process with us.

2000
01:55:46.400 --> 01:55:47.760
What are you experiencing?

2001
01:55:47.760 --> 01:55:48.640
What are you feeling?

2002
01:55:48.640 --> 01:55:49.680
What are you worried about?

2003
01:55:49.680 --> 01:55:51.000
What fears are coming up?

2004
01:55:51.000 --> 01:55:52.720
We wanna start like,

2005
01:55:52.720 --> 01:55:55.560
because these are valid fears.

2006
01:55:55.560 --> 01:55:57.280
They're valid.

2007
01:55:57.280 --> 01:55:58.320
Not saying that they're not,

2008
01:55:58.360 --> 01:56:00.720
but we wanna make sure that we're not like

2009
01:56:00.720 --> 01:56:03.240
overthinking things and then sabotaging ourselves

2010
01:56:03.240 --> 01:56:04.080
because of it.

2011
01:56:05.000 --> 01:56:05.880
That's good.

2012
01:56:05.880 --> 01:56:06.720
Thank you.

2013
01:56:06.720 --> 01:56:07.760
That makes sense?

2014
01:56:07.760 --> 01:56:08.600
Yeah.

2015
01:56:09.480 --> 01:56:10.320
Good.

2016
01:56:10.320 --> 01:56:11.640
Stephanie, I'm glad that was helpful for you too.

2017
01:56:11.640 --> 01:56:14.000
Pacing is super important, okay?

2018
01:56:14.000 --> 01:56:15.960
We don't wanna get ahead of ourselves.

2019
01:56:15.960 --> 01:56:17.800
Don't wanna project things.

2020
01:56:17.800 --> 01:56:19.040
It's stay in the moment.

2021
01:56:19.040 --> 01:56:21.360
Let's really get to know people, okay?

2022
01:56:21.360 --> 01:56:22.840
We don't have to worry so much

2023
01:56:22.840 --> 01:56:24.560
about what's gonna happen later down the road.

2024
01:56:24.560 --> 01:56:25.440
Look, I get it.

2025
01:56:26.400 --> 01:56:27.240
I have a daughter.

2026
01:56:27.240 --> 01:56:28.760
My daughter's 13 now.

2027
01:56:28.760 --> 01:56:31.280
When I met my husband, she was 11, okay?

2028
01:56:31.280 --> 01:56:33.400
And she also had lost,

2029
01:56:33.400 --> 01:56:36.520
like she's lost her biological mother,

2030
01:56:36.520 --> 01:56:37.800
you know, her mother's past.

2031
01:56:37.800 --> 01:56:38.800
And so, you know,

2032
01:56:38.800 --> 01:56:40.600
there's all sorts of things that come in,

2033
01:56:40.600 --> 01:56:42.080
but I will tell you,

2034
01:56:42.080 --> 01:56:47.040
the Lord knows all of that, okay?

2035
01:56:47.040 --> 01:56:49.200
He's not gonna put you in a situation

2036
01:56:49.200 --> 01:56:51.720
that he is not gonna equip you with.

2037
01:56:51.720 --> 01:56:53.520
And I need to preach that probably to myself

2038
01:56:53.520 --> 01:56:56.280
because there's times I don't feel equipped, okay?

2039
01:56:56.280 --> 01:56:58.000
Ladies, there are gonna be times in a relationship

2040
01:56:58.000 --> 01:56:59.120
you're not gonna feel equipped,

2041
01:56:59.120 --> 01:57:03.520
but that's just the enemy feeding you lies, okay?

2042
01:57:03.520 --> 01:57:04.840
God knows what he's doing.

2043
01:57:04.840 --> 01:57:07.800
We can trust that, okay?

2044
01:57:09.200 --> 01:57:10.280
Thank you.

2045
01:57:10.280 --> 01:57:11.520
You are welcome.

2046
01:57:11.520 --> 01:57:12.360
All right, ladies,

2047
01:57:12.360 --> 01:57:15.240
it's been such an honor and such a pleasure.

2048
01:57:16.160 --> 01:57:18.520
Make sure that you're doing your activations.

2049
01:57:18.520 --> 01:57:20.600
I know we've had a lot of people jump off.

2050
01:57:20.600 --> 01:57:23.040
I totally understand, totally fine.

2051
01:57:23.040 --> 01:57:26.160
But again, watch Supernatural Saturday.

2052
01:57:26.160 --> 01:57:28.640
Let's do those activations.

2053
01:57:28.640 --> 01:57:33.000
And if you can make Ebony's call tonight, definitely do.

2054
01:57:33.000 --> 01:57:36.760
And then I will see you all next week, okay?

2055
01:57:36.760 --> 01:57:40.720
Continue to stay connected in our community, all right?

2056
01:57:40.720 --> 01:57:42.920
Have a great rest of your day, ladies.

2057
01:57:42.920 --> 01:57:44.440
Thank you, Karla.

2058
01:57:44.440 --> 01:57:45.800
Bye-bye.

2059
01:57:45.800 --> 01:57:46.640
Bye.