WEBVTT

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All right. Welcome, ladies. It is March 4th. This is your Phase 2, 1 o'clock check-in.

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So awesome to be here with you ladies today. For those of you that don't know me, I am

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Carla Johnson. I'm one of your coaches here at Last Year Single for Phase 2. I'm a success

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story. I've been with Jackie since pretty much the beginning of when she first did her

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big launch in September, October of 2020. So it took me a couple years. I probably pushed

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back on some of the coaching longer than I needed to, but it was all in God's perfect

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timing and was able to meet my spirit mate, my husband now. We've been married exactly

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one year and six months from yesterday. So I just realized that. So yeah, we're still

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in those early, early years of marriage. So I've got some wisdom that comes with that

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for you single ladies that I was thankful that was shared with me as well, but you don't

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really realize it until you're in it. So just know I'm on this other side of it. So

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when I come and I'm coaching and maybe I'm pulling Band-Aids off for some of you, it's

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all from a place of love and understanding and wisdom and know that I've been through

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all of all the program too and probably bucked a handful of things that Jackie told me to

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do. I didn't always want to do them. So anyway, welcome. Do we have any new members to phase

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two that's on this call? Lauren. Yes. Welcome. So glad to have you with us. Fantastic. I

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think I recognize just about everything. Joan, I don't, I just see your first name. I don't

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see a picture. So forgive me. I don't know if this is your first time on phase two call

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or in phase two, if this is your first week, but anyway, we're glad to have everybody here

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with us. So I'm just going to go over some housekeeping stuff. We're going to switch

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things up a little bit. I had the privilege to go spend some time with Jackie and David

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this past weekend. My husband and I went down to Austin for my birthday and you know, I

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got to have just some, you know, fun time with Jackie and, and she and I had a chat

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about just the structure of our calls. And so things are going to be a little bit different,

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but I think it's all going to be really good. So we're going to basically, we're just going

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to allow more of this to be a, we used to call them back when I was in the beginning,

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we used to call them love seats where we, you know, Jackie would just let us come and

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ask her all the questions. And so it was just more of a dialogue back and forth. So we're

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going to spend a majority of our time doing that. I'm still going to do just a little

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bit of teaching, but not a whole lot. So anyway, let me get into housekeeping and then we'll,

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we'll kind of dive into that and I can explain that a little further. So please just make

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sure that you stay muted, especially while we're teaching these first beginning parts

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that we can do our best to keep things on time. Obviously we're going to spend a lot

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of time unpacking questions with you ladies. So obviously then you'd be able to unmute.

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If you do know that you have a question, go ahead and put the avatar hand up now, and

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that will let us know that you, you have some things that you want to unpack. You have questions

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about, so we, we, we kind of stay on track here. Okay. I do ask that when you do have

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your questions. So those ladies that have been on with me in the past know that just

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keep those things short, brief and powerful. If you've been on my call before, you know,

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I talk a lot and so I try to talk really fast. I do try to shorten my words. So we all are

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just going to do our best to keep things short, brief and powerful so that we can have enough

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time and space for everybody to ask their questions for us to dive into. I know a lot

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of times people have more than one question, which is totally fine. In the beginning, just

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ask your one question. And then when we get through everybody that has their one question,

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then we can go back and you can double dip and you can ask, you know, more questions

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if you have them. Okay. One thing I just want to make sure that you ladies are aware of,

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please make sure that you're watching the Love Story Accelerator content. I think I've

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saw a few people and I will typically ask people like, what videos have you watched?

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And I'm noticing

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that we're kind of like getting away from watching that content.

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So it's really important.

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There's five videos in your course content.

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It's under the course tab in your app.

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And so make sure that you're watching one of those videos a week.

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OK, that's the best practice that we ask you to do.

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Then one week, you know, pray about it, meditate on it.

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You know, really allow Holy Spirit to speak to you in that week

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after listening to that content and how you can apply

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what we share in that content to how you're walking this phase two course out.

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I think that might be why we might be seeing

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some of the confusion and the the maybe

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some of the anxiousness that's coming up while people are dating

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is because some of you have not been watching that content.

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So please make sure that you're doing that

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while you're watching one course video a week.

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Make sure that you're also coming to these live Tuesday calls.

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Watch those replays if you are not able to attend.

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And that includes that Supernatural Saturday.

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You really, really can't stress

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enough how important Supernatural Saturday is to get to,

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as well as this Tuesday call. OK.

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I even encourage you, ladies, because you are here with me now.

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And this is the one that goes in replay.

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I also encourage you, ladies, if you can make the eight o'clock

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Eastern time to jump on that one as well.

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OK, because there's other women that are in there

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that can't be on this one o'clock and they have questions.

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And you can learn a lot from their questions and Ebony's feedback for them.

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And then every now and then I pop in as well when I can.

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So go to those if you can.

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Ladies, if you have been in this community, not community,

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I should let me rephrase that.

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If you've been in this phase.

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For about three months or more, and you've watched all the video content

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and you've been to a couple lives, let's start shifting you into phase three.

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OK. And to do that, you would email admin at Jackie Dorman dot com. OK.

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I'm just a reminder that we do see the most breakthrough from.

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Ladies here, and I can attest to this because I was one of those women.

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OK, we see the most breakthrough from those that are actively,

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consistently and intentionally engaging in community and showing up.

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You know, you have to be you have to be you have to be showing up

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and you have to be willing to step out of your comfort zone at times.

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OK. And I say this.

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Knowing like, understand, I'm I've been where you're been, where you're at. OK.

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It's so, so important.

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I say as I'm on the other side of it, be open to being teachable.

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OK, that's important.

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We ask you, ladies, when you are interacting with men

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and you're getting to know men on these, you know, level two beginning dates,

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you're looking for fruit, you're looking to see is a man teachable.

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Is he mature in that sense?

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OK. And so if we're asking,

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you know, I'm wanting you ladies to find that.

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And then we also want you to show up in the same way as well.

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You know, and the reason I say that is, you know, there is it's

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it's being able to submit to wisdom that we have here for you, ladies.

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And last year, single, it's part of that preparation process for marriage.

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To be to be honest, you know, there is a, you know, submitting to wisdom

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is you're going to have to learn to have that submissive posture.

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And I know Jackie shares

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about that submission word, I know, and heartwork.

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And it's the beginning of the heartwork book.

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So depending on how long ago you you did your heartwork,

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that that might be might be something to press into a little bit.

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Just remember, part of this coaching and this program

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is so that you ladies don't come out the same way that you came in.

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We're here to grow you in love and it will stretch you.

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OK. You know, Jackie often says that there is a process

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that accompanies the promise.

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And so just being willing to to accept that and be open to that,

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you know, doesn't mean that it's going to be easy, doesn't mean.

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And again, like Jackie says, it doesn't have to be easy.

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It just has to be worth it.

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OK, but you are here

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and we're going to partner with you.

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You don't have to go through an

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a hard knit, like a hard season alone.

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We're here to walk that process with you

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and to make it as comfortable as we can.

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But again, there's going to be discomfort.

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That's where the growth and the stretching comes.

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So just keep that in mind, you know, we also encourage you ladies to continue to show up

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and stay engaged with the other ladies. But I really want to emphasize to not allow it to

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don't allow it to cost your own growth in the process. Okay, so we want you showing up and

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being there for other people, but not at the expense of your own growth. Okay. So if you find

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yourself constantly wanting to, you know, encourage all the other women, again, we always tell you,

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you know, encourage each other. But let's take the advice giving hat off. But we also don't

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want you to be so consumed with pouring into other people that you're missing your own process of

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growth, okay, and stretching because sometimes that will happen is sometimes it gets really

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uncomfortable for us when we're being pressed, you know, and that pressure is coming, all right,

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that refining is starting to come, it can get really uncomfortable. And so one way that I've

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seen show up time and time again, in the years that I've been coaching, is that we then detract

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and we kind of go the other way, we shift the other way that when we start feeling the pressure,

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we start putting the focus on other people and pouring into other people instead of our own

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growth. So just want you ladies to be mindful of that. Okay. All right, that's housekeeping. I'm

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going a lot longer than I want to, I really want to get us moving. So I'm going to go ahead and

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quickly pray and we'll get started. So Heavenly Father, I just thank you so much for this time

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together, Lord. I thank you for your wisdom. And and that you are here to partner with us and that

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you bring people in our lives to help us walk through these seasons. Lord, you put the right

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people in our path because you love us and you care for us. And Lord, I just thank you for that

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gentleness that you have with us. I thank you for your discipline that you give us as well, because

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that discipline helps us grow and partner with what it is that you want to cultivate in us. So

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Heavenly Father, I just continue to ask, you know, just to come alongside us, to be present,

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you know, to speak to us. And, you know, just again, remind us of that simple prayer that Jackie

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often prays herself and encourages us to pray is teach us, show us, heal us, grow us. And we

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appreciate your gentleness as well as your discipline in Jesus name. Amen. Okay. So like I said,

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I know I've got some new people on that were not here just a moment ago when I was expressing,

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excuse me for just a minute. I'm really battling some some sickness here. I had the privilege to

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hang out with Jackie this weekend. My husband and I went down to Austin to spend some time with them.

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It was also a little getaway for my birthday. And so, you know, I had a conversation with Jackie,

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we talked a little bit about last year single, and she encouraged me to start shifting this call to

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be more of a what we use we call love seat. So this is where we just it's an open forum where you can

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ask your questions. And so I'll still do a little bit of teaching, but we will not go into where

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before I was, you know, we, Ebony and I were teaching and touching little topics from the

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videos and the content, where we're no longer going to do that, because it's your responsibility,

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ladies, to make sure you're watching that content. And again, that's one video per week. Okay.

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For activations, I'm going to keep the same activation that we did last week, because I did

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not see anyone and forgive me if I missed it. I didn't see anyone post about the activation.

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And that's the one where you are interacting with all people, male and female, young and old,

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and you're to find something attractive about them. Okay, what attracts you to them? What's

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attractive in them? I'm not talking physical, okay. And I'm also going to emphasize this is

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not about the men that you're dating. I mean, you still always need to be, you know, coming in

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checking, okay, what do I like about this person? What do I not like? Is there anything that I don't

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like? What do I like? What fruit am I seeing? What fruit and gold are you seeing in people and make

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sure that you come into the app and share that with us. Okay. I did this activation years ago,

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and I'm telling you it blessed my life.

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Because I really could start seeing what I enjoyed in people what I found

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Attractive in people and then it allowed me to work on, you know, what's attractive about me

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What quality and characteristics do I have to offer?

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That other people will see fruit in okay, it goes both ways. And so that's why I share that. Okay

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So we're about 16 minutes in

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I'm gonna talk really fast so I can get through it because I want you ladies to have the opportunity to ask your questions

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Jackie really emphasized that these calls cannot be longer than 75 minutes long

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So we really need to keep them into that one hour 15 minutes

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Maybe one hour 20 if we have to

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So I'm gonna talk fast, but I got a lot of wisdom to share. So take it all in

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Okay, and then I'm gonna open the floor to you ladies

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okay, so one thing that I really wanted what what Holy Spirit spoke to me and

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I'm just gonna share with you for those of you don't know me. I have three kids two of them are bonus children and

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You know, I'm often reminded

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about how God operates through my

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Parenting of three kids now. So again, I'm blending a family and

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And those of you that will step into marriages that will have blending a family

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Let me tell you that it's there's a lot of growth that will take place

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okay, and so I have these three kids and and you know, I was just reminded this morning of how

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You know, we hit they're all different ages. I have a 15 a 13 and a nine-year-old and

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When you're a parent

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They have you there's certain privileges that your kids, you know grow into so let's say

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Driving a car

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Getting to go hang out with their friends by themselves. Maybe not with the parent anymore

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Maybe it's dating of whatnot. Okay, and so my kids always come to me like at what age am I allowed to do this?

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At what age am I allowed to do this and my husband I have to stress with our kids

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It's not about age

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it's more about

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your

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responsibilities and

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Your maturity

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Do you have the ability to be responsible? Are you mature enough to carry this extra privilege that carries a little bit more?

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responsibility and

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so it reminds me of

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How God operates with us and how he operated with me in my single season

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you see ladies like

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God wants you married more than what then what you think you want to be married, right?

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That's what Jackie says. God wants you married more than you want to be married

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He wants it more for you than you want it for yourself

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and

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So but with that I had to learn

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There was that process

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the maturity the wisdom that I needed in order to carry the capacity of

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What marriage entailed

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Okay, and so for some of you that have been married before you will probably get this I

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Didn't because I had never been married before

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I'm lucky. My husband has been married before because he gets some of this. He has a lot more patience with me

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I'm having to grow through a lot more because I've never been married and

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so

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There is such a capacity that you and a maturity that will come in marriage

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but again, it's

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I'm not gonna let my

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13 year old behind the seat of behind the wheel of a car

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Like she's not ready for it

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like

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She's not mature enough for it

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We actually have had conversations that with our children and dating

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She's not even mature enough to even date on her own right now

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She's had trauma in her life the way that she attaches to people. She's not responsible enough to have

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dating interactions with boys

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Because she's gonna find herself in all sorts of unhealthy stuff

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And so as parents we're gonna guard her a little bit of that. We're not gonna allow her to open that door

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Okay. Now we have an older son who's 15. He's very mature. We're still holding off for him. But again

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That's that's important so God operates in that same way

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not because he's holding out on you, but it's because

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He wants to bless you

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so that

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you carry

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That blessing all the way through because ladies your mature your marriage is for life

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And

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The enemy will want to come and kill still and destroy

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kingdom marriage

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So there is a maturity and there's a growing and there's a responsibility that comes with it

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And so that's what you know in here at last year single

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Especially in this phase is that we really try to instill that and I get it's gonna stretch a lot of you

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But there's some discipline that comes with it, you know

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There really is and so I just really want you ladies to take hold of that and

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Understand that

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This is the process

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Okay, and so with that I want to go into this pacing and we touched on this last week this pacing of dating

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So all of you come in from phase one

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you weren't dating in phase one or at least you were in courage not to and now you come into phase two and we

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Open the gates for you

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some people

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They're like, I'm not sure I want to do that. Some of y'all just like go

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And from the high dive and I mean you just whoa, right so we get that

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but y'all are coming in to this idea of dating and what's important to understand and I want to go into that levels of

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dating and

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again, this is in the dating 101 video, but I'm gonna unpack it a little bit more because I really think it's important and and I

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Want you ladies to understand that level two?

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relationship

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Okay, I want you to start and we don't say this in the video

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But I really want you to get a hold of this is level two is really like two parts

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There's level 2a and then there's level 2b the early stages

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Where it's two to three dates, maybe even four dates. Ideally. It's about a month long of

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Level 2a dating. Okay, and that's that discovery dating that's getting to know someone

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You are just seeing do you enjoy being around this person? Can you find some things in common?

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You're really taking that am I attracted to him on a physical level? Is there any romance there?

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You know, what's this gonna look like? I mean, I know we get into that

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I need him to I need to know that he loves Jesus. I need to know that he worships

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I need to know he can speak in tongues. I need to know that he has vision like we can get overworked in that

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Level 2a is remove that. Okay. I'm not saying you're gonna move remove it forever

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But you're just in the beginning stages of get to know someone enjoy being around them let them enjoy being around you

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You know, what's really cool about you what makes you fun to be around

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Let them see that

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Okay, it reminds me of even what Jackie said

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Proverbs 18 22. That's yeah, because that's our men's challenge

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When a man finds a wife, he finds favor with the Lord

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Let the man see you as a wife because you're showing up in your divine feminine

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You're not sitting here investigating everything and picking apart, you know

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But what if he doesn't do this and what if he doesn't like this? We're not there

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We're not there for each other. We're not there for each other

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But what if he doesn't do this and what if he doesn't like this we're not there yet

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Okay

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Level 2a two to three even four dates

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Probably about a month long. We're not rushing into the process here. We're pacing it. Well

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You're discovering you're getting to know somebody and then when you've passed that point you've spent

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You know

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Several weeks getting to know them. You've been on a couple dates. You really do enjoy them

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That's when you can start entertaining some deeper get to know you questions

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That would be then level to be

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Because we're not saying you're not gonna deep dive with people you will get there

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eventually

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but I'm seeing a lot of people want to rush that process and there's this urgency and

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Again I will I'm gonna remind you ladies if you are not

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Connected to Jackie on social media on Instagram, especially

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She just did this. I wanted to say it was like three four weeks ago. She broke it down

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About this especially in the millennial

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generation you have women that have this urgency to

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Get married and have kids or the men and that age right?

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They're still like, okay, like I'm open to it, but they don't have an urgency the way

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that we do as women.

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And believe it or not, ladies, some of you, if you come in real hard with that, you're

310
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going to, you're going to scare some of the good men away.

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I'm just being real with you.

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Okay.

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This is even just feedback from my husband and what he experienced when he was dating.

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Okay.

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So just keep that in mind.

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Okay.

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I'm saying you're not going to deep dive those questions, but ladies don't do it too soon.

318
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Okay.

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Don't do it prematurely.

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You don't want to attach to people too quickly because what also happens is this.

321
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We start and women are good at this.

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We start fantasizing what things could look like, be like what we want it to look like,

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what we hope they look like, how we hope they show up.

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And it just gets really mucky.

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And so, and I even say that because some of you ladies want to be Sherlock Holmes.

326
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You want to go be detective on these men and you're finding, you know, one of your sisters

327
00:26:03.740 --> 00:26:09.820
here in the community, she went, she went and did some detective work.

328
00:26:09.820 --> 00:26:17.540
She went Google searching and she found out some information that was pretty premature.

329
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And it was from 10 years ago.

330
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This guy's passed from 10 years ago.

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And ladies, like it, and before you even start getting to know somebody, like it can

332
00:26:29.060 --> 00:26:30.060
get dangerous.

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It's really important to understand that you are God defended.

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Okay.

335
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God is going to let you know what you need to know when you need to know it.

336
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Okay.

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00:26:42.460 --> 00:26:49.860
When you, and if you pace things well, you will, there will just naturally be a revealing

338
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of green flags, yellow flags, and red flags, and have this community to lean on, to share

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00:26:56.220 --> 00:26:57.820
what's going on on those dates.

340
00:26:57.820 --> 00:27:03.980
And we will help you differentiate what's a green flag, what's a yellow flag, what's

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a red flag.

342
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Okay.

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And so you don't have to go searching.

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Okay.

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You have this community to share.

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All right.

347
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We give you guardrails.

348
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If you pace yourself well, like it really has a lot to say, like, are you able to trust?

349
00:27:25.780 --> 00:27:32.020
And if you are going out trying to be detective and figure things out on your own to go protect

350
00:27:32.020 --> 00:27:38.100
yourself, it really is, then that's just a revealing that you've got some areas of trust

351
00:27:38.100 --> 00:27:40.900
that could be worked on.

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00:27:40.900 --> 00:27:45.940
You know, ladies, I still have areas of trust that I have to work on, even in my marriage.

353
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Okay.

354
00:27:47.940 --> 00:27:52.540
So I'm not saying it to like, again, I don't ever want you ladies to feel shame or guilt

355
00:27:52.540 --> 00:27:53.860
or anything like that.

356
00:27:53.860 --> 00:27:57.740
It's, it's, I will be your sister that will be real with you.

357
00:27:57.740 --> 00:27:59.140
All right.

358
00:27:59.140 --> 00:28:04.060
I will not, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the girlfriend, I'm the sister, I'm, you know, my friends

359
00:28:04.060 --> 00:28:12.020
always know, if you want to know the truth, go to Carla, she'll tell you.

360
00:28:12.020 --> 00:28:15.700
She will like, and I do my best to, you know, again,

361
00:28:15.740 --> 00:28:18.780
I hope you all hear it comes from a place of love.

362
00:28:18.780 --> 00:28:23.060
A lot of times it comes from a place of my own testimony.

363
00:28:23.060 --> 00:28:30.300
So all that being said, I think it was really important for us to kind of touch on that.

364
00:28:30.300 --> 00:28:32.580
But now I really do want to open the floor.

365
00:28:32.580 --> 00:28:34.060
I want to hear from all of you.

366
00:28:34.060 --> 00:28:36.540
I see a couple of you, I don't see cameras on.

367
00:28:36.540 --> 00:28:40.700
So if you can get your camera on, I want to see, I want to see your beautiful faces.

368
00:28:40.700 --> 00:28:44.460
There's a few of you that I know we've been chatting in the app.

369
00:28:44.460 --> 00:28:47.860
So I know, you know, y'all have updates and all sorts of things.

370
00:28:47.860 --> 00:28:51.700
Remember, we want to keep things short, brief and powerful.

371
00:28:51.700 --> 00:28:52.700
Okay.

372
00:28:52.700 --> 00:28:58.220
So Lauren, I see your hand, I got six hands up.

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00:28:58.220 --> 00:29:00.020
So short, brief and powerful.

374
00:29:00.020 --> 00:29:01.020
One question.

375
00:29:01.020 --> 00:29:03.220
We're going to get through all of everybody's one question.

376
00:29:03.220 --> 00:29:09.700
And if there's time for more, we will allow you to ask a second or third after everybody's

377
00:29:09.700 --> 00:29:10.700
asked their first.

378
00:29:10.700 --> 00:29:11.700
Cool.

379
00:29:11.700 --> 00:29:12.700
All right.

380
00:29:12.700 --> 00:29:13.700
Lauren, what you got for us?

381
00:29:13.940 --> 00:29:16.100
Welcome to phase two, by the way.

382
00:29:16.100 --> 00:29:17.100
Thank you.

383
00:29:17.100 --> 00:29:18.100
I'm in bed with cramps.

384
00:29:18.100 --> 00:29:20.100
So you have to excuse me.

385
00:29:20.100 --> 00:29:22.020
Girl, I feel you.

386
00:29:22.020 --> 00:29:23.020
I feel you.

387
00:29:23.020 --> 00:29:24.020
Yeah.

388
00:29:24.020 --> 00:29:25.020
It's awful.

389
00:29:25.020 --> 00:29:30.940
But I guess my question is, I had like a first video date with somebody yesterday after we

390
00:29:30.940 --> 00:29:33.700
talked like a week or whatever.

391
00:29:33.700 --> 00:29:39.780
And it was like a little bit of a mild catfish situation.

392
00:29:39.780 --> 00:29:42.220
Like he wasn't smiling with his teeth in any of his photos.

393
00:29:42.220 --> 00:29:45.620
I think he's gained some weight maybe since the photo.

394
00:29:45.620 --> 00:29:50.620
It just was a little bit different than what I expected.

395
00:29:50.620 --> 00:29:55.940
And I just was kind of like, oh, I don't know if I could be attracted to this person like

396
00:29:55.940 --> 00:29:57.820
in that way.

397
00:29:57.820 --> 00:30:00.060
But he's been like so kind.

398
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.800
I'm so attentive, like, just like a really lovely person. Um,

399
00:30:07.240 --> 00:30:11.800
and I can tell he's very excited about me. And so I'm almost a

400
00:30:11.800 --> 00:30:16.000
little bit like, do I even go on a date with him?

401
00:30:16.040 --> 00:30:22.880
Oh, how like, how like, far off are his photos from what he

402
00:30:22.880 --> 00:30:23.840
shows up?

403
00:30:25.640 --> 00:30:29.520
Um, I hear catfish. So like, when I think of catfish, I think

404
00:30:29.520 --> 00:30:31.800
like, you are completely not the person you are.

405
00:30:32.200 --> 00:30:35.320
Like, it's more like, you know, when people like catfish where

406
00:30:35.320 --> 00:30:37.520
it's like, they have a hat on in every photo, and then you see

407
00:30:37.520 --> 00:30:39.360
their hair and you're like, Oh,

408
00:30:39.720 --> 00:30:42.160
it was eating hairline. You're like, there's a reason why they

409
00:30:42.160 --> 00:30:43.680
were absolutely

410
00:30:44.240 --> 00:30:48.360
more like that, like, like, he's just doesn't really have a great

411
00:30:48.360 --> 00:30:52.240
smile. Um, definitely has gained a lot of weight. Like he broke

412
00:30:52.240 --> 00:30:56.000
his ankle last summer. And so I think genuinely, he probably has

413
00:30:56.000 --> 00:31:00.480
not been able to like, work out as much. Yeah. But just like,

414
00:31:00.520 --> 00:31:02.720
like significantly bigger than

415
00:31:03.720 --> 00:31:06.840
so aside from all of the physical stuff. Yeah.

416
00:31:08.120 --> 00:31:10.240
You're what fruit are you seeing out of him?

417
00:31:11.080 --> 00:31:15.800
Oh, he's like, so attentive. He asks really good questions. He's

418
00:31:15.800 --> 00:31:21.040
consistent. He's, he's kind of shy. And I feel like a little

419
00:31:21.040 --> 00:31:24.400
bit maybe insecure. But like when I was on the FaceTime, like

420
00:31:24.400 --> 00:31:27.480
he was very confident being like, well, your hair is really

421
00:31:27.480 --> 00:31:31.400
beautiful. Like just like saying kind things to me, you know?

422
00:31:31.880 --> 00:31:37.360
So we have some fruit. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So this is where

423
00:31:37.400 --> 00:31:41.120
you you're gonna inevitably get to decide. Okay, now I'll give

424
00:31:41.120 --> 00:31:44.720
you feedback from what I've seen having walked through this

425
00:31:44.720 --> 00:31:49.840
program since 2020. Okay. I was not physically attracted to my

426
00:31:49.840 --> 00:31:54.400
husband at first. Now I think he is the most like sexiest man

427
00:31:54.400 --> 00:32:00.160
alive. Okay. Like, okay. And there's a lot of women in this

428
00:32:00.160 --> 00:32:03.760
community, actually, that were not initially physically

429
00:32:03.760 --> 00:32:09.240
attracted to them, to their husbands now. A lot of that

430
00:32:09.240 --> 00:32:12.680
stuff, you can change, like, I've been married to my husband

431
00:32:12.680 --> 00:32:16.880
now a year and a half. And when we went to go visit Jackie and

432
00:32:16.880 --> 00:32:19.360
David, and they have met him before. And Jackie made a

433
00:32:19.360 --> 00:32:24.880
comment about like, my husband dressed the way that David

434
00:32:24.880 --> 00:32:29.640
dressed when they were first dating a math professor. Okay.

435
00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:33.840
And she's I remember I first time she met him and she talked

436
00:32:33.840 --> 00:32:35.680
to me about she's like, girl, you don't have to teach that man

437
00:32:35.680 --> 00:32:40.200
how to dress. Like she reminds me he reminds me of David. And

438
00:32:40.200 --> 00:32:42.840
David is now like if you if any of you see pictures of David,

439
00:32:42.840 --> 00:32:46.240
he's a very stylish guy because that's Jackie. Yeah, this

440
00:32:46.240 --> 00:32:52.720
weekend, I finally got my husband to like, like upgrade

441
00:32:53.080 --> 00:32:57.480
his wardrobe. Okay. A lot of that stuff can change teeth.

442
00:32:57.640 --> 00:33:02.480
There's invisible line. Like teeth can be fixed. You know,

443
00:33:02.480 --> 00:33:06.000
hair, I don't know. I mean, if he's balding, you can't fix

444
00:33:06.000 --> 00:33:11.280
balding so much. But ladies, I can tell you, I, there was a

445
00:33:11.280 --> 00:33:14.880
time, my husband is not balding. But there was a time that I

446
00:33:14.880 --> 00:33:19.080
thought maybe I would date and marry a man that was bald. Like

447
00:33:19.080 --> 00:33:21.800
and just the facial hair, like I actually find facial hair very

448
00:33:21.800 --> 00:33:23.960
attractive. My husband did not have facial hair when I first

449
00:33:23.960 --> 00:33:26.800
met him. He now has facial hair because I find it very

450
00:33:26.800 --> 00:33:30.560
attractive. So a lot of the physical stuff can be changed.

451
00:33:31.000 --> 00:33:34.040
Right now in that level two a dating because again, remember,

452
00:33:34.040 --> 00:33:37.720
I just talked about that. You're just spending time to get to

453
00:33:37.720 --> 00:33:41.480
know them. Do you enjoy them? What fruit are you seeing? What

454
00:33:41.480 --> 00:33:44.960
do you like about a man showing up? What are you learning about

455
00:33:44.960 --> 00:33:48.800
yourself? This is not like you don't have to dive into the

456
00:33:48.800 --> 00:33:52.480
romance. Okay. And the physical attraction and all that kind of

457
00:33:52.480 --> 00:33:55.560
stuff that doesn't have to come right away. Okay.

458
00:33:55.720 --> 00:34:00.120
So he's, he's a little bit like, so what did you think? Like

459
00:34:00.160 --> 00:34:04.320
after the call? Like, I feel like he's kind of excited to

460
00:34:04.320 --> 00:34:07.440
move things forward to where I'm a little like,

461
00:34:07.440 --> 00:34:13.400
all right. Of course, he's excited. But I'm like, nervous.

462
00:34:13.400 --> 00:34:15.960
Like, I feel like I can have to be like, well, we can find that

463
00:34:15.960 --> 00:34:19.920
out. Like as time goes by, like I said, I'm like, we should

464
00:34:19.920 --> 00:34:22.600
probably see if we enjoy being around each other.

465
00:34:23.600 --> 00:34:27.560
Go on, go on an in person day, you know, enjoy them. And here's

466
00:34:27.560 --> 00:34:30.600
the thing, like, if he's asking you, what do you think? Be

467
00:34:30.600 --> 00:34:36.639
honest with him? And honest to attempt like a honest in the

468
00:34:36.639 --> 00:34:40.080
sense that you're saying, I really appreciate and value how

469
00:34:40.080 --> 00:34:45.199
attentive you are. And I like I really appreciate it. And I and

470
00:34:45.199 --> 00:34:49.480
I find that attractive. Okay, so you see ladies how this this

471
00:34:51.840 --> 00:34:54.520
activation that I shared with y'all last week that I want you

472
00:34:54.520 --> 00:34:59.840
to do this week, how this shows up, you are attracted

473
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.000
to someone who is consistent with you or attentive,

474
00:35:06.360 --> 00:35:08.400
is intentional with you.

475
00:35:08.400 --> 00:35:10.280
I dated a guy that I was,

476
00:35:10.280 --> 00:35:11.600
obviously he's not my husband,

477
00:35:11.600 --> 00:35:13.480
because I'm married now.

478
00:35:13.480 --> 00:35:17.520
One thing that I really adored and appreciated

479
00:35:17.520 --> 00:35:20.360
and found very attractive about him

480
00:35:20.360 --> 00:35:23.880
was his intentionality with me.

481
00:35:23.880 --> 00:35:26.880
And I knew that was something

482
00:35:26.880 --> 00:35:29.320
that I wanted in a spirit mate.

483
00:35:29.360 --> 00:35:31.880
And it didn't mean that he was my spirit mate,

484
00:35:31.880 --> 00:35:36.000
I just could recognize I really appreciated and valued that.

485
00:35:36.000 --> 00:35:40.840
So then after that relationship fizzled and I ended that,

486
00:35:40.840 --> 00:35:45.840
when I went out on dates after, I was looking for that.

487
00:35:46.200 --> 00:35:49.920
Like, no, I really love when someone's intentional with me.

488
00:35:49.920 --> 00:35:54.840
And Lord, I really hope that my husband will show that.

489
00:35:54.840 --> 00:35:57.720
And my husband actually was.

490
00:35:57.720 --> 00:36:01.360
So those are reasons why like this level 2A dating

491
00:36:01.360 --> 00:36:04.240
is just about, you're getting to know them.

492
00:36:04.240 --> 00:36:05.600
Give this guy a chance.

493
00:36:05.600 --> 00:36:08.360
I say, that would be my two cents.

494
00:36:08.360 --> 00:36:10.080
You are your own person,

495
00:36:10.080 --> 00:36:12.720
you're allowed to make your own choices.

496
00:36:12.720 --> 00:36:16.360
I say, because you've spent time,

497
00:36:16.360 --> 00:36:17.840
and you see some fruit in him,

498
00:36:17.840 --> 00:36:19.560
you might not be physically attracted to him,

499
00:36:19.560 --> 00:36:22.440
but see what you can learn and grow in

500
00:36:22.440 --> 00:36:26.000
and what opportunities can surface in getting to know him.

501
00:36:26.840 --> 00:36:28.600
Okay, and then keep us posted.

502
00:36:28.600 --> 00:36:30.680
Okay, thank you.

503
00:36:30.680 --> 00:36:31.840
You are welcome.

504
00:36:31.840 --> 00:36:34.560
All right, Bernice, you're up girl.

505
00:36:34.560 --> 00:36:35.400
How are you?

506
00:36:38.800 --> 00:36:43.800
I'm good, I have a question, how are you?

507
00:36:44.080 --> 00:36:44.920
I'm good.

508
00:36:46.200 --> 00:36:49.800
And I was just wondering like, okay,

509
00:36:50.760 --> 00:36:55.640
I have not talked to Constantine since Wednesday.

510
00:36:56.560 --> 00:36:59.120
And as you know, he went back to Florida

511
00:36:59.120 --> 00:37:02.440
because he had to take care of some business

512
00:37:02.440 --> 00:37:06.480
as far as getting his house up to par

513
00:37:06.480 --> 00:37:08.920
because of the hurricane and so forth.

514
00:37:08.920 --> 00:37:13.920
And so he's not, well, I don't know.

515
00:37:14.360 --> 00:37:18.680
He's not back yet, but maybe he is back yet.

516
00:37:18.680 --> 00:37:23.680
I know yesterday the appraiser was supposed to come

517
00:37:24.520 --> 00:37:26.200
to appraise this house.

518
00:37:26.200 --> 00:37:30.840
And also I told him I would look as well

519
00:37:30.840 --> 00:37:35.080
to see if there was appraiser on my team.

520
00:37:35.080 --> 00:37:39.600
I'm a part of the real estate team as well

521
00:37:39.600 --> 00:37:41.400
to see if I could find an appraiser.

522
00:37:41.400 --> 00:37:45.120
So one person responded and I gave him

523
00:37:45.120 --> 00:37:48.720
that name and so forth.

524
00:37:48.720 --> 00:37:50.920
And he said, thank you.

525
00:37:50.920 --> 00:37:55.920
And usually he is very good at getting back with me

526
00:37:56.600 --> 00:37:58.520
and being intentional, like you said.

527
00:37:59.960 --> 00:38:03.920
But this time I have not heard from him.

528
00:38:07.560 --> 00:38:10.120
Okay, so let me ask you, typically when,

529
00:38:10.120 --> 00:38:12.600
how long have you guys been getting to know each other?

530
00:38:12.600 --> 00:38:13.440
Remind me.

531
00:38:14.440 --> 00:38:16.240
Since February 1st,

532
00:38:16.240 --> 00:38:19.920
but he's been going back and forth to Florida.

533
00:38:20.440 --> 00:38:24.440
So when you guys are interacting

534
00:38:24.440 --> 00:38:25.840
and you're messaging back and forth,

535
00:38:25.840 --> 00:38:28.520
is he usually the one that initiates conversation?

536
00:38:30.400 --> 00:38:31.600
We both do.

537
00:38:34.040 --> 00:38:37.360
Okay, if I don't hear from him, then I initiate.

538
00:38:37.360 --> 00:38:40.480
And then if he doesn't hear from me, he'll initiate.

539
00:38:40.480 --> 00:38:43.120
Okay, so has that happened this week?

540
00:38:43.120 --> 00:38:45.360
Have you initiated and he's not responding?

541
00:38:46.400 --> 00:38:47.240
No.

542
00:38:47.280 --> 00:38:52.280
He, oh yeah, yeah, I did initiate and he did not respond.

543
00:38:52.960 --> 00:38:54.000
So-

544
00:38:54.000 --> 00:38:55.880
When was the last time you initiated?

545
00:38:57.320 --> 00:38:58.800
Today.

546
00:38:58.800 --> 00:39:00.560
Today, okay.

547
00:39:00.560 --> 00:39:03.000
Before today, how many days?

548
00:39:06.920 --> 00:39:09.600
Wednesday, I think it was Wednesday.

549
00:39:09.600 --> 00:39:10.600
Yeah, Wednesday.

550
00:39:10.600 --> 00:39:13.640
Okay, and on today's Tuesday, so you initiated Wednesday.

551
00:39:13.640 --> 00:39:15.480
Did you hear from him last Wednesday?

552
00:39:16.480 --> 00:39:20.720
Just to say thank you, because while he's there,

553
00:39:22.600 --> 00:39:27.160
he was complaining about having to be stationary there

554
00:39:27.160 --> 00:39:32.160
and he only can stay upstairs, that kind of thing.

555
00:39:32.400 --> 00:39:36.320
And so I said, well, maybe you should get out

556
00:39:36.320 --> 00:39:38.280
and do something fun while you're there

557
00:39:38.280 --> 00:39:41.080
since you can't do anything right now.

558
00:39:41.080 --> 00:39:44.200
And then he said he would go and see a friend

559
00:39:44.280 --> 00:39:45.760
that moved down there.

560
00:39:45.760 --> 00:39:47.480
And I said, oh, that would be good.

561
00:39:47.480 --> 00:39:52.320
And so I just said, you know, have a good time.

562
00:39:52.320 --> 00:39:57.320
And then I asked him coming back.

563
00:39:58.080 --> 00:40:00.120
Well, I don't know if he came back or went.

564
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:07.600
But I asked him, did he have a good time and nothing, I haven't heard anything.

565
00:40:07.600 --> 00:40:09.720
And that was today?

566
00:40:09.720 --> 00:40:10.720
That was Wednesday.

567
00:40:10.720 --> 00:40:11.720
Oh, okay.

568
00:40:11.720 --> 00:40:15.640
And so then what did you, what did you send him today?

569
00:40:15.640 --> 00:40:25.200
I sent him a long text just saying, you know, I really appreciate your profile.

570
00:40:25.200 --> 00:40:31.760
And that was the reason why that I reached out to you.

571
00:40:31.760 --> 00:40:41.000
I mean, I, yeah, reached out to you, but because I had said to him, I like your picture, you

572
00:40:41.000 --> 00:40:45.200
know, when I left it at that, and then he reached out to me.

573
00:40:45.440 --> 00:40:58.960
I also said, oh, the reason why that I reached out to you, because I saw that you liked your

574
00:40:58.960 --> 00:40:59.960
family.

575
00:40:59.960 --> 00:41:07.360
And also, he talked about being resilient and honest, and treating people kind.

576
00:41:07.360 --> 00:41:12.840
And he has, he has treated me that way, I feel like he has treated me that way.

577
00:41:12.840 --> 00:41:19.480
And this is where I think, you know, you're, we're now it's, it's, you put it in his court,

578
00:41:19.480 --> 00:41:21.320
you reach out to him.

579
00:41:21.320 --> 00:41:26.760
And so now it's just going to be waiting and seeing, like, is he going to be responsive?

580
00:41:26.760 --> 00:41:28.200
It could be a number of things.

581
00:41:28.200 --> 00:41:32.680
It could be because he really has a lot on his plate.

582
00:41:32.680 --> 00:41:37.840
It could also be because maybe he's, I mean, is this long distance?

583
00:41:38.840 --> 00:41:45.360
No, he actually lives in Indiana, but he's in Florida now, taking care of.

584
00:41:45.360 --> 00:41:48.760
So yeah, I think, you know, it just sounds like there's a lot of back and forth for him

585
00:41:48.760 --> 00:41:49.760
right now.

586
00:41:49.760 --> 00:41:54.720
So I mean, it could be partly because he's, he's, he's preoccupied, he's busy.

587
00:41:54.720 --> 00:42:02.920
And again, ladies, like, you know, you can only, a lot of this is just about reciprocation.

588
00:42:02.960 --> 00:42:09.800
And so this is why you're putting it in his court and you've just got to practice, you

589
00:42:09.800 --> 00:42:13.640
know, okay, you've, you've done your part, you're, you're reaching out and you're waiting

590
00:42:13.640 --> 00:42:15.040
to see if he's going to respond.

591
00:42:15.040 --> 00:42:22.720
You know, this is why, again, we stress the whole level two dating where you're intentionally

592
00:42:22.720 --> 00:42:28.040
getting to know other people because you never know what happens in life.

593
00:42:28.040 --> 00:42:34.920
If people are, you know, intentional about dating, they might want to be dating and it

594
00:42:34.920 --> 00:42:39.040
sounds like a good plan, but then when something comes along, it might be like, Ooh, I'm not

595
00:42:39.040 --> 00:42:40.040
ready for this.

596
00:42:40.040 --> 00:42:41.040
Or I don't know.

597
00:42:41.040 --> 00:42:47.280
And we don't, we don't know a whole lot about people in the beginning stages because they're

598
00:42:47.280 --> 00:42:48.280
still strangers.

599
00:42:48.280 --> 00:42:54.280
And so that's why we do encourage you to continue just to, you know, get to know other people

600
00:42:54.440 --> 00:43:01.640
and reciprocate and you've put it in, in, in his court to respond, wait to see.

601
00:43:01.640 --> 00:43:06.040
And here's the thing when he responds and you know, if he responds, just say, you know,

602
00:43:06.040 --> 00:43:12.200
you can be honest, just say, Hey, you know, I've noticed communication has dipped a little

603
00:43:12.200 --> 00:43:13.200
bit.

604
00:43:13.200 --> 00:43:21.360
You know, can you help me understand as understand why ladies need to communicate and ask questions,

605
00:43:21.360 --> 00:43:26.680
you know, as long as we're not attacking and interrogating people, but it's just really

606
00:43:26.680 --> 00:43:32.000
from a heart of, you know, Hey, I was really enjoying getting to know you and our conversation.

607
00:43:32.000 --> 00:43:37.120
And I've noticed it's dipped a little bit.

608
00:43:37.120 --> 00:43:38.120
Why is that?

609
00:43:38.120 --> 00:43:43.440
And then let them, let them share.

610
00:43:43.440 --> 00:43:44.440
Yeah.

611
00:43:44.440 --> 00:43:45.960
Let's be honest about it.

612
00:43:45.960 --> 00:43:46.960
You know,

613
00:43:47.960 --> 00:43:56.080
I put that in there and so forth, it's like you're saying, so, but I wanted to ask you

614
00:43:56.080 --> 00:44:07.440
this one question, like he has shared that, okay, his, his, his first wife abandoned him

615
00:44:07.440 --> 00:44:10.560
and he had to raise two kids.

616
00:44:10.560 --> 00:44:20.160
And then he said his second wife, after 20 years left him, and I didn't ask him for that

617
00:44:20.160 --> 00:44:21.160
information.

618
00:44:21.160 --> 00:44:23.800
He volunteered it to me.

619
00:44:23.800 --> 00:44:24.800
Yeah.

620
00:44:24.800 --> 00:44:27.600
And we can't control when guys deep dive with us.

621
00:44:27.600 --> 00:44:32.320
We just do our best to kind of be like, Oh, thanks for sharing that information with me.

622
00:44:32.320 --> 00:44:34.560
I'm sorry to hear that.

623
00:44:34.560 --> 00:44:36.160
And then we try to redirect.

624
00:44:36.200 --> 00:44:37.200
Okay.

625
00:44:37.200 --> 00:44:42.600
You'll get, again, men are not being coached the way that y'all are being coached.

626
00:44:42.600 --> 00:44:47.800
So we have to give a little grace there and just know, okay, does it mean that we're not

627
00:44:47.800 --> 00:44:53.160
going to have those conversations, but in the early stages of level two, like you don't

628
00:44:53.160 --> 00:44:54.160
need to.

629
00:44:54.160 --> 00:44:55.240
But again, I mean, my husband did that.

630
00:44:55.240 --> 00:44:59.400
My husband told me more information than he needed to, but I was able to kind of be like,

631
00:44:59.400 --> 00:45:00.400
okay.

632
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:03.680
take it with a grain of salt and we'll still continue to get to know him and obviously I'm

633
00:45:03.680 --> 00:45:17.120
married to him so um so my question go ahead um that's the same question is okay he also said that

634
00:45:17.120 --> 00:45:27.760
in December he started dating because his divorce was final in May of last year and so

635
00:45:30.000 --> 00:45:35.200
I'm just wanting to ask you are these red flags that I should be really looking at because

636
00:45:35.920 --> 00:45:43.360
if he he said another lady just left without saying anything and I'm like

637
00:45:44.720 --> 00:45:48.640
these red flags I don't think that these I don't think this these are yellow I don't think these

638
00:45:48.640 --> 00:45:52.240
are red flags I think they they can be yellow flags like these are things that you're going

639
00:45:52.240 --> 00:45:58.160
to want to pay attention to and as you get to know him you're going to see how does he handle

640
00:45:58.160 --> 00:46:06.720
conflict how does he handle um you know it again like these are things ladies like in the beginning

641
00:46:06.720 --> 00:46:12.880
stages you're not going to know all of the details but these are flags that you're being mindful of

642
00:46:12.880 --> 00:46:18.640
and as you continue to press forward and get to know them and see them you know and this is again

643
00:46:18.640 --> 00:46:25.760
why we say two three four dates because you know let's be real ladies on a first date we're all

644
00:46:25.760 --> 00:46:31.280
kind of just not ourselves we're trying to put our best foot forward on a first date even a second

645
00:46:31.280 --> 00:46:37.120
date I'll even say and by the time you start opening up and getting to know people and and

646
00:46:37.120 --> 00:46:44.720
spending time with them you'll get that information and you'll see behavior because ladies people

647
00:46:44.720 --> 00:46:52.480
can't cover their behavior for a long period of time you know and so you're gonna see and then

648
00:46:52.480 --> 00:47:01.360
that's when when you see those things come up it's having the ability to show up in your feminine

649
00:47:01.360 --> 00:47:09.280
and communicate and ask questions ladies I can't tell you enough how important it is

650
00:47:09.840 --> 00:47:18.640
to to not assume but to ask more questions ask why hey I noticed this why why why was that

651
00:47:19.440 --> 00:47:25.360
or hey you know you you mentioned this before what why do you think it is that you show up in

652
00:47:25.360 --> 00:47:31.840
that way why do you think it is that you respond that way you know that's when you start seeing

653
00:47:31.840 --> 00:47:38.240
because you're you're spending time with them and you're seeing them interact with people and that's

654
00:47:38.240 --> 00:47:44.320
when you can bring up conversation so I wouldn't say that these are red flags because again you

655
00:47:44.640 --> 00:47:51.840
you know you don't know what the other person was like so you really never know like how have

656
00:47:51.840 --> 00:47:57.920
they grown I say this because my husband was married for 11 years before his wife passed

657
00:47:58.880 --> 00:48:07.200
you know she had some mental health issues that relationship was not a healthy relationship it

658
00:48:07.200 --> 00:48:14.720
was not a healthy marriage he was very forthcoming to me about it it was a yellow flag for me because

659
00:48:14.720 --> 00:48:20.080
I'm like this woman can't even defend herself because she's not here on earth but as I spent

660
00:48:20.080 --> 00:48:27.280
more time getting to know him and then we spent you know we had known each other and then we started

661
00:48:27.280 --> 00:48:32.640
introducing each other in other circles like I got to meet friends and family he got to meet my

662
00:48:32.640 --> 00:48:42.480
friends and family and we you know paced that I could see how he he was showing up I learned how

663
00:48:42.480 --> 00:48:51.280
he took that marriage and how he grew from it I saw fruit in that and again I didn't know right

664
00:48:52.160 --> 00:48:58.560
right then and so that's why again these are yellow flags but we don't want you ladies making

665
00:48:58.560 --> 00:49:05.680
red flags or yellow flags red before it's important to pace yourself and still just

666
00:49:05.680 --> 00:49:11.280
keep moving forward you can't turn any of those flags yellow or green unless you have more

667
00:49:11.280 --> 00:49:15.840
information the way you get more information is you spend time with them you don't go digging you

668
00:49:15.840 --> 00:49:23.600
don't go searching for it you just again you you put yourself in situations of dates and you know

669
00:49:24.160 --> 00:49:30.160
like I said this last week I'm a competitive person so I wanted to do dates that I could see

670
00:49:30.160 --> 00:49:37.040
if my husband could hang with me in a competitive nature you know now if he was aggressive and you

671
00:49:37.040 --> 00:49:42.720
know just couldn't take you know losing like that would have been like yeah no this this dude ain't

672
00:49:42.720 --> 00:49:48.320
for me if he handled it and kind of pouted and threw a fit about it I would be able to see like

673
00:49:49.200 --> 00:49:54.560
maybe this guy has some things that he needs to work on you know so you're gonna you're gonna see

674
00:49:56.240 --> 00:49:59.600
more information as you continue to get to know people

675
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:07.360
again ladies when you partner with Holy Spirit and you allow such like you allow

676
00:50:07.360 --> 00:50:13.440
God to surface situations because I'm telling you he will he will let you know

677
00:50:13.440 --> 00:50:19.320
what you need to know when you need to know it you I mean I can't tell I mean I

678
00:50:19.320 --> 00:50:23.400
don't have any off the top of my head but I have known through the years where

679
00:50:23.400 --> 00:50:31.080
they're just been I mean it the only explanation is God as to why people

680
00:50:31.080 --> 00:50:37.440
found certain things out God allowed those things to surface so we've got to

681
00:50:37.440 --> 00:50:40.800
go in with this heart of I am God defended and I am protected I'm gonna

682
00:50:40.800 --> 00:50:46.080
show up as my best self and and move forward

683
00:50:47.520 --> 00:50:53.080
what's that you think I should still talk to him yeah I think you put it out

684
00:50:53.080 --> 00:50:57.040
there I think you you reached out to him now let's wait and see if he

685
00:50:57.040 --> 00:51:02.120
responds and when he responds I would encourage you to you know express him

686
00:51:02.120 --> 00:51:07.640
hey like I noticed you you're not showing up the way that you did in the

687
00:51:07.640 --> 00:51:12.960
beginning you know is there a reason for that and let and and see and then you

688
00:51:12.960 --> 00:51:18.840
you make him aware hey I noticed our conversation is not the way it used to

689
00:51:19.000 --> 00:51:27.040
be and then he gives a response and then you wait to see how he shows up does he

690
00:51:27.040 --> 00:51:31.880
continue to be pulled away or does he say oh wow I I'm so sorry I didn't

691
00:51:31.880 --> 00:51:37.360
realize I was doing that you're right I haven't I've been distracted and then

692
00:51:37.360 --> 00:51:45.080
you see if he shifts maybe he starts showing back up again you have that

693
00:51:45.080 --> 00:51:49.120
potential it is that I would say I say I say this to sometimes ladies you're

694
00:51:49.120 --> 00:51:57.320
gonna have to give people enough rope to hang themselves okay you know we you

695
00:51:57.320 --> 00:52:02.920
and I know Jackie even shared this even on the call that she subbed for me

696
00:52:02.920 --> 00:52:06.480
about a month ago so ladies I'd encourage you to go back and watch that

697
00:52:06.480 --> 00:52:12.440
one because she talks a little bit about this this topic as well you know you

698
00:52:12.800 --> 00:52:18.120
gotta allow people you have to a lot of it has to do with boundaries you either

699
00:52:18.120 --> 00:52:22.600
have to let some of us that have walls you're gonna have to give people a

700
00:52:22.600 --> 00:52:26.280
little rope you're gonna have to give up people a little bit of trust some of you

701
00:52:26.280 --> 00:52:31.120
have no walls no gates no nothing you allow too much trust so again that's for

702
00:52:31.120 --> 00:52:35.000
you ladies to kind of navigate through everybody's gonna be different some of

703
00:52:35.000 --> 00:52:40.120
you have too many boundaries so many of you have not enough but you're gonna

704
00:52:40.120 --> 00:52:43.280
have to allow people to kind of come in you're gonna have to allow people to

705
00:52:43.280 --> 00:52:48.480
kind of show up as themselves and then you can go from there all right Bernice

706
00:52:48.480 --> 00:52:52.600
I'm gonna have to cut you off because we are about we got about 20 more minutes

707
00:52:52.600 --> 00:52:57.040
and I have five more people raising their hand I think there was even a few

708
00:52:57.040 --> 00:53:01.560
other people I didn't want to hear from that did not have their hands raised so

709
00:53:01.560 --> 00:53:06.960
keep in contact with us continue to keep showing up come in the app and let let

710
00:53:06.960 --> 00:53:11.320
me know when he responds to you and what that looks like okay we want to

711
00:53:11.320 --> 00:53:16.080
stay on top of it ladies like don't just wait for these Tuesday calls to unpack

712
00:53:16.080 --> 00:53:21.600
things bring him to community especially after Tuesday Wednesday to Monday that's

713
00:53:21.600 --> 00:53:26.520
a lot of time okay for you ladies to wait for the next week to come and have

714
00:53:26.520 --> 00:53:32.960
conversation with us okay so up let us know what's going on okay all right

715
00:53:32.960 --> 00:53:39.200
Bernice thank you so much for sharing Natasha how are you are you able to

716
00:53:39.200 --> 00:53:47.880
unmute which question yes I just needed to step away into an office for privacy

717
00:53:47.880 --> 00:53:55.920
yeah well I guess a lot of little things swimming in my head in terms of so I've

718
00:53:55.920 --> 00:54:03.640
been in phase two since early mid-jan so I've gone through the videos I've

719
00:54:03.640 --> 00:54:07.960
gone through the videos again I'm also I've also looked at the information but

720
00:54:07.960 --> 00:54:15.080
I've been on the dating app since I think second to last week of January so

721
00:54:15.080 --> 00:54:20.720
I've been talking to a couple of people and you know some of them reached out

722
00:54:20.720 --> 00:54:27.640
and suggested a phone call a video call or a phone call some have taken some

723
00:54:27.640 --> 00:54:32.440
haven't I know that weirdly enough when I was on my birthday week which was two

724
00:54:32.440 --> 00:54:36.920
weeks ago I was in Auckland which is one of the biggest cities to where I am and

725
00:54:36.920 --> 00:54:42.000
that's when I was getting a whole lot of matches compared to where I am now but

726
00:54:42.000 --> 00:54:45.320
it's weird because God has also softened my heart to the idea of moving to

727
00:54:45.320 --> 00:54:50.120
Auckland and my dream job has actually come up in Auckland just yesterday so

728
00:54:50.120 --> 00:54:53.920
I'm working on applying for that job so and it's one of my friends had been

729
00:54:53.920 --> 00:54:58.480
saying I feel like my our hearts are telling us that your husband like

730
00:54:58.480 --> 00:55:01.960
because things have just been slow

731
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:06.000
And it's weird because then my, the app has just gone dead silent in the last, since I've been back.

732
00:55:06.000 --> 00:55:16.000
So yeah, so there are two guys that I've been chatting with. One I've been chatting with for like probably about three weeks now, but last week he was just dead silent.

733
00:55:16.000 --> 00:55:22.000
And just as you suggested, I reached out to say, hey, you know, like, you know, we're really getting to know each other.

734
00:55:22.000 --> 00:55:27.000
I'm just wondering if you're still interested to get to know each other. It would be lovely to hear back from you because he wasn't.

735
00:55:27.000 --> 00:55:32.000
So that's what I've also noticed. I like consistency and just transparency.

736
00:55:32.000 --> 00:55:38.000
Even if people are busy and things are not working out, I appreciate just the honesty of just I'm busy.

737
00:55:38.000 --> 00:55:43.000
So with him, I reached out and said, I'm quite confused about where that this is going.

738
00:55:43.000 --> 00:55:48.000
If you're still interested in getting to know me. And he reached out and he called.

739
00:55:48.000 --> 00:55:53.000
I mean, he messaged and then he said, OK, let me let us call you. Let me call you this evening.

740
00:55:53.000 --> 00:55:57.000
Then he canceled again because he had to go pick up a friend.

741
00:55:57.000 --> 00:56:01.000
And then I just said and then I was just like, I'm so sorry. I know you're going to be mad.

742
00:56:01.000 --> 00:56:06.000
I'm like, you know, I'm not mad, but it's still just as I said, it confuses your intention.

743
00:56:06.000 --> 00:56:10.000
Yeah. And then he said he sent a video again saying, I'm so sorry.

744
00:56:10.000 --> 00:56:15.000
Can I call you like can I call you even later? Can I call you later? Can I call you tomorrow?

745
00:56:15.000 --> 00:56:20.000
I'm like and then I said to him, you know, like even with the video date, I recommended a video date.

746
00:56:20.000 --> 00:56:24.000
We were supposed to call two Sundays ago and that didn't happen.

747
00:56:24.000 --> 00:56:27.000
And it's fate for me. It feels like being stood up.

748
00:56:27.000 --> 00:56:32.000
So if that was a live date, effectively, that means I would have been sitting there, stood up.

749
00:56:32.000 --> 00:56:35.000
And then he said he totally understands where I'm coming from.

750
00:56:35.000 --> 00:56:40.000
And then can we schedule a video? And then he explained that he's got because he's doing an I.T. course.

751
00:56:40.000 --> 00:56:45.000
So he's got that and he's in a paragliding course as well. So he's got a lot on.

752
00:56:45.000 --> 00:56:49.000
So he says, you know what, Natasha, like I've got this assignment to hand in on Thursday.

753
00:56:49.000 --> 00:56:53.000
But definitely let's do a video date tomorrow. And then I said to him, let's not do that.

754
00:56:53.000 --> 00:56:58.000
You can call me tomorrow. I'm not going to set a time because I don't want to wait around waiting for you to call.

755
00:56:58.000 --> 00:57:06.000
But you can call me tomorrow and then and then let's let's schedule the video date when things are a bit slower for you,

756
00:57:06.000 --> 00:57:10.000
because you've mentioned that you've got this assignment to hand in and paragliding thing.

757
00:57:10.000 --> 00:57:14.000
So so let's wait for that to kind of slow down maybe for you.

758
00:57:14.000 --> 00:57:18.000
Then maybe you'll have more clarity because I think he gets into his head.

759
00:57:18.000 --> 00:57:23.000
I noticed he gets into his head about the assignments and stuff. Then he's like, OK, great idea.

760
00:57:23.000 --> 00:57:28.000
So so then he called yesterday and we spoke yesterday for a bit and said, can I call you again this week?

761
00:57:28.000 --> 00:57:33.000
I'm like, yes, sure. You can call me again this week. But with him, I'm noticing because of his busy schedule,

762
00:57:33.000 --> 00:57:37.000
I don't want to schedule a time and be waiting there.

763
00:57:37.000 --> 00:57:42.000
So you're doing. And that's the thing I like. What I'm hearing a lot of is you're just you're setting boundaries.

764
00:57:42.000 --> 00:57:48.000
You're being open and you're understanding, you're giving grace, but you're also expressing, look,

765
00:57:48.000 --> 00:57:56.000
I don't this feels like I'm being stood up and you're giving him the opportunity to understand how busy lives.

766
00:57:56.000 --> 00:58:00.000
I love how you're you know, he's like, well, let's do a video date. And you're like, no.

767
00:58:00.000 --> 00:58:03.000
How about you just call me, call me when you can.

768
00:58:03.000 --> 00:58:08.000
And then you're there to answer a phone call and have a conversation and move from there.

769
00:58:08.000 --> 00:58:15.000
I think you're handling that beautifully. You know, I mean, this is where, again,

770
00:58:15.000 --> 00:58:21.000
as you continue to get to know him and have conversation, you're going to see, is there going to be a shift in behavior?

771
00:58:21.000 --> 00:58:27.000
Is it going to be intentional with. OK, we all have busy seasons.

772
00:58:27.000 --> 00:58:32.000
And, you know, Jackie says this oftentimes and I, you know.

773
00:58:33.000 --> 00:58:37.000
Ladies, when you're on dating apps, you're on dating apps, you're on there to date.

774
00:58:37.000 --> 00:58:42.000
And we coach you ladies like be open to dating, get dates.

775
00:58:42.000 --> 00:58:49.000
Ladies need to be dating. You're not there to have little chit chats and all sort of stuff and be on the apps talking back and forth.

776
00:58:49.000 --> 00:58:54.000
Some people, they're just there for the dopamine. Yeah, they're just there for the dopamine hits.

777
00:58:54.000 --> 00:58:58.000
And ladies, you might you might find yourself in those situations.

778
00:58:58.000 --> 00:59:01.000
We don't know. We don't know where this guy's at. We don't know. Yeah.

779
00:59:01.000 --> 00:59:04.000
Sounds like he's busy. He's being honest about him being busy.

780
00:59:04.000 --> 00:59:08.000
You still don't know enough to know enough about him to know.

781
00:59:08.000 --> 00:59:14.000
Is he really intentional and wanting to date? And is he willing to make time for that?

782
00:59:14.000 --> 00:59:19.000
You're not going to know until you really know, because you're going to give him some opportunity.

783
00:59:19.000 --> 00:59:28.000
You're going to give him a little bit of rope, give him the opportunity to show up, you know, be intentional, have some dates with you or not.

784
00:59:28.000 --> 00:59:33.000
If he's not, ladies, if the guys are not, they're not.

785
00:59:33.000 --> 00:59:37.000
We don't have to get tore up from the floor up just because it's not working out.

786
00:59:37.000 --> 00:59:48.000
I get it. We get hopeful because we find them attractive or we were like, oh, they have certain characteristics and qualities that we were hoping we would have in a husband.

787
00:59:48.000 --> 00:59:59.000
And so then we get let down. I cannot tell you how many times I was so discouraged when guys that I was hopeful about just didn't.

788
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.760
But I will promise you, ladies, when your spirit comes, it will make sense and it'll

789
01:00:06.760 --> 01:00:11.080
be the perfect fit and the perfect match for you and it's going to be in God's perfect

790
01:00:11.080 --> 01:00:12.080
timing.

791
01:00:12.080 --> 01:00:17.440
Because I'm noticing, so I've been on the apps because I've actually only been on one

792
01:00:17.440 --> 01:00:18.440
date.

793
01:00:18.440 --> 01:00:23.640
So there've been multiple ones set up and then people either last minute cancel or being

794
01:00:23.640 --> 01:00:28.960
ghosted after we've agreed that, OK, let's let's meet.

795
01:00:28.960 --> 01:00:34.760
And this happened last year and it was kind of like, you know, but this it's happened

796
01:00:34.760 --> 01:00:35.760
again this year.

797
01:00:35.760 --> 01:00:41.400
But I've been kind of like quite clear that to say kind of like, you know, that it's because

798
01:00:41.400 --> 01:00:46.560
one as I was in Auckland again, he he we were meant to meet on the Wednesday when I arrived

799
01:00:46.560 --> 01:00:47.960
in Auckland.

800
01:00:47.960 --> 01:00:52.600
And then last minute he canceled because of work and he knew that I'm from out of town

801
01:00:52.600 --> 01:00:57.000
and then he scheduled again, like, let's say, and he knew it was my birthday the following

802
01:00:57.000 --> 01:01:00.360
day and didn't even like sent a message at the end of the day.

803
01:01:00.360 --> 01:01:01.360
Just happy birthday.

804
01:01:01.360 --> 01:01:02.440
And that was it.

805
01:01:02.440 --> 01:01:08.680
And then on the Friday, so I picked up that, OK, so, you know, like, I mean, you guys are

806
01:01:08.680 --> 01:01:09.680
still strangers.

807
01:01:09.680 --> 01:01:10.680
I mean, yeah, exactly.

808
01:01:10.680 --> 01:01:12.000
I mean, here's the thing, ladies.

809
01:01:12.000 --> 01:01:16.160
I mean, we we can't have these high expectations from someone that we really don't know and

810
01:01:16.160 --> 01:01:17.560
they don't really know us.

811
01:01:17.560 --> 01:01:18.560
Yeah.

812
01:01:18.560 --> 01:01:20.280
So I think you're handling it beautifully.

813
01:01:20.280 --> 01:01:26.240
And again, yeah, like, you know, just again, when we talk about ghosting, you know, it's

814
01:01:26.240 --> 01:01:27.240
holy ghosting.

815
01:01:27.240 --> 01:01:28.240
Yeah.

816
01:01:28.240 --> 01:01:29.240
Yep.

817
01:01:29.240 --> 01:01:30.240
Yep.

818
01:01:30.240 --> 01:01:31.240
Yep.

819
01:01:31.240 --> 01:01:32.240
And that's what I'm taking.

820
01:01:32.240 --> 01:01:33.240
So I'm not I don't take it some type of way.

821
01:01:33.240 --> 01:01:38.120
It's just with regards to the the process of phase two and me being in the middle.

822
01:01:38.120 --> 01:01:43.440
So I don't know because I haven't been on the seven live dates and or dates.

823
01:01:43.440 --> 01:01:45.280
And don't stress about that.

824
01:01:45.280 --> 01:01:46.280
And yeah.

825
01:01:46.280 --> 01:01:48.000
And don't stress about the seven dates, ladies.

826
01:01:48.000 --> 01:01:49.000
We put that into place.

827
01:01:49.000 --> 01:01:50.000
And here's the thing.

828
01:01:50.000 --> 01:01:54.920
There's a lot of women that come into phase two with the seven dates and they're like,

829
01:01:54.920 --> 01:01:57.120
I'm don't know how I'm going to do it.

830
01:01:57.120 --> 01:01:59.240
And then they get the seven dates.

831
01:01:59.240 --> 01:02:03.100
There's some women that are like, I just don't know if I'm ready for that.

832
01:02:03.100 --> 01:02:04.160
And it's fine.

833
01:02:04.160 --> 01:02:10.000
And some of them, they like there's a handful of women that come from phase two and go into

834
01:02:10.000 --> 01:02:12.040
phase three without having the seven dates.

835
01:02:12.040 --> 01:02:15.240
You are not required to have seven dates before moving to phase three.

836
01:02:15.480 --> 01:02:20.960
Because I didn't don't know when to move to phase three.

837
01:02:20.960 --> 01:02:26.280
You get to move through when you've watched all the video content and you've been to at

838
01:02:26.280 --> 01:02:28.080
least one or two live calls.

839
01:02:28.080 --> 01:02:33.960
But you ladies showing up to a live call and making it being you all being intentional

840
01:02:33.960 --> 01:02:36.040
about showing up to that.

841
01:02:36.040 --> 01:02:40.440
So and then once you once you've got that, then yeah, you can shift over to phase three.

842
01:02:40.440 --> 01:02:41.440
It's just an email.

843
01:02:41.440 --> 01:02:43.920
Quick email to admin at Jackie Dorman dot com.

844
01:02:44.080 --> 01:02:46.040
Hey, finish my coursework.

845
01:02:46.040 --> 01:02:50.800
I've been in phase two for five, six, seven, eight weeks.

846
01:02:50.800 --> 01:02:56.320
I've been to some lives would like to move to phase three and they'll and they'll take

847
01:02:56.320 --> 01:02:58.200
care of that on the back end.

848
01:02:58.200 --> 01:03:05.080
But I think it it is very apparent to me that you have watched the videos.

849
01:03:05.080 --> 01:03:06.720
You're heeding the wisdom.

850
01:03:06.720 --> 01:03:10.800
You're applying it just how you showed up with putting the boundary there.

851
01:03:10.800 --> 01:03:11.800
You're being good.

852
01:03:11.800 --> 01:03:15.720
You're not getting tore up from the floor up when things don't work out the way that

853
01:03:15.720 --> 01:03:16.720
you want them to.

854
01:03:16.720 --> 01:03:21.440
Because ladies, let me tell you that is that won't happen in marriage either.

855
01:03:21.440 --> 01:03:26.520
Like if you ladies want these men to show up a certain way, it's not going to happen

856
01:03:26.520 --> 01:03:28.000
in your marriage either.

857
01:03:28.000 --> 01:03:29.000
Yeah.

858
01:03:29.000 --> 01:03:31.560
Obviously, there's a partnership.

859
01:03:31.560 --> 01:03:34.600
There's conversation again.

860
01:03:34.600 --> 01:03:37.880
And that communication is huge.

861
01:03:37.880 --> 01:03:44.040
And as long as you're communicating what you're experiencing, what you're feeling,

862
01:03:44.040 --> 01:03:50.200
how you're interpreting their actions, be honest and open.

863
01:03:50.200 --> 01:03:55.840
As long as it's coming from a soft, feminine approach, and it's not you trying to demean

864
01:03:55.840 --> 01:04:00.680
them or criticize them, because ladies, men don't want mothers.

865
01:04:00.680 --> 01:04:06.720
They don't want a spouse that's going to mother them and tell them all the things that they're

866
01:04:06.720 --> 01:04:10.200
doing wrong and why they need to do it a certain way.

867
01:04:10.200 --> 01:04:15.960
There's got to be a softness, a feminine, and again, if you ladies need to go back and

868
01:04:15.960 --> 01:04:18.560
rewatch Divine Feminine, do that.

869
01:04:18.560 --> 01:04:26.360
But Natasha, I think you are approaching this dating very well.

870
01:04:26.360 --> 01:04:27.360
Thank you.

871
01:04:27.360 --> 01:04:31.360
Have confidence that you're on the right track.

872
01:04:31.360 --> 01:04:32.360
Thank you.

873
01:04:32.360 --> 01:04:37.320
I was just going to start, like you said, not shutting doors when you need to be Holy

874
01:04:37.320 --> 01:04:42.160
Ghosted when you need to be Holy Ghosted, and it's raining men when you're walking into

875
01:04:42.160 --> 01:04:43.160
Oakland.

876
01:04:43.160 --> 01:04:46.880
You're processing it really well.

877
01:04:46.880 --> 01:04:47.880
Thank you.

878
01:04:47.880 --> 01:04:48.880
Thank you.

879
01:04:48.880 --> 01:04:49.880
Appreciate that.

880
01:04:49.880 --> 01:04:50.880
Thank you, Natasha.

881
01:04:50.880 --> 01:04:51.880
Hey, Liz.

882
01:04:51.880 --> 01:04:52.880
How are you?

883
01:04:52.880 --> 01:04:54.880
So good to see you.

884
01:04:54.880 --> 01:04:55.880
Yeah.

885
01:04:55.880 --> 01:04:56.880
Oh, hi.

886
01:04:56.880 --> 01:04:58.880
Yeah, I'm doing good.

887
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.600
Yes, I just got back from a ministry trip to Africa yesterday.

888
01:05:03.600 --> 01:05:08.400
So I'm a little jet lagged also trying to catch up with the guy that you.

889
01:05:08.460 --> 01:05:09.360
Oh, yeah.

890
01:05:09.720 --> 01:05:12.320
I'm hoping you remember that's what you're coming to share.

891
01:05:12.720 --> 01:05:13.040
Wow.

892
01:05:13.080 --> 01:05:13.880
I'm so impressed.

893
01:05:13.880 --> 01:05:16.560
You remember that I've been off for three weeks cause I was traveling, but yeah.

894
01:05:16.600 --> 01:05:21.840
Um, we did end up, um, not having any video calls cause it's just internet wise,

895
01:05:21.840 --> 01:05:25.280
like the place I'm working, it doesn't really allow for that, but we did.

896
01:05:25.800 --> 01:05:29.720
Um, text a fair amount and yeah, like I was able to kind of send some

897
01:05:29.720 --> 01:05:31.520
pictures and stuff of what I was up to.

898
01:05:31.520 --> 01:05:37.840
And yeah, he was really, um, like responsive, I guess you would say like

899
01:05:37.840 --> 01:05:40.840
he would, anytime I would share something, he'd engage with it.

900
01:05:40.880 --> 01:05:45.600
And, um, so we ended up texting probably like every day, every

901
01:05:45.600 --> 01:05:46.840
other day, something like that.

902
01:05:46.840 --> 01:05:48.760
So yeah, so that was good.

903
01:05:49.280 --> 01:05:55.440
Um, yeah, my question is about the curiosity thing, um, where you're

904
01:05:55.440 --> 01:05:58.000
coaching one of the, one of the first girls with the question.

905
01:05:58.640 --> 01:06:03.280
Um, so this guy, we've had seven or eight live dates and then.

906
01:06:03.800 --> 01:06:06.960
Um, yeah, kind of this talking every day while I've been traveling.

907
01:06:07.280 --> 01:06:09.840
And so I guess I would call him a two B at this point.

908
01:06:09.840 --> 01:06:12.440
Like I feel like, yeah, we're getting to know each other, talking

909
01:06:12.440 --> 01:06:14.120
about some deeper dates.

910
01:06:14.160 --> 01:06:15.200
Yep, exactly.

911
01:06:15.720 --> 01:06:16.360
Yeah.

912
01:06:16.720 --> 01:06:21.320
Um, and one thing that I'm really curious about with him that, that

913
01:06:21.320 --> 01:06:27.400
I've kind of noticed isn't there is, um, he has made like no comments

914
01:06:27.400 --> 01:06:30.600
about, um, me physically at all.

915
01:06:31.120 --> 01:06:34.760
Um, like, yeah.

916
01:06:34.760 --> 01:06:38.200
So I don't know, just in my, my past experience with American men, I

917
01:06:38.200 --> 01:06:42.040
usually find like, you know, if they think you're pretty, they just say it

918
01:06:42.040 --> 01:06:45.400
kind of thing or, um, yeah.

919
01:06:45.560 --> 01:06:46.240
Yeah.

920
01:06:46.280 --> 01:06:49.200
And so there's not like, he's very consistent in the way he's

921
01:06:49.200 --> 01:06:53.800
showing up and he's very, um, I would say I'm kind of like discerning.

922
01:06:53.800 --> 01:06:56.920
He's more of an acts of service guy than a words of affirmation

923
01:06:56.920 --> 01:07:00.280
guy, um, just in general.

924
01:07:01.440 --> 01:07:04.560
But then, yeah, for me, I'm like such a words of affirmation person.

925
01:07:04.680 --> 01:07:07.760
So I think this is a question, like, you know, yeah.

926
01:07:07.760 --> 01:07:13.120
What are you finding that's coming up in you that are you noticing that you

927
01:07:13.120 --> 01:07:17.280
want to hear him compliment you more physically?

928
01:07:18.800 --> 01:07:26.240
Um, uh, I think it's more of like, I'm curious, is he attracted to me?

929
01:07:26.920 --> 01:07:27.720
If that makes sense.

930
01:07:28.040 --> 01:07:32.560
And I guess for my background is like, I've had some situationships with guys

931
01:07:32.560 --> 01:07:36.040
who like really enjoy my company and enjoy who I am and I've had some

932
01:07:36.040 --> 01:07:40.160
really enjoy my company and enjoy who I am and really enjoy me as a friend,

933
01:07:40.160 --> 01:07:44.320
but weren't romantically in the end, turns out weren't romantically like.

934
01:07:44.840 --> 01:07:45.720
So into me.

935
01:07:45.760 --> 01:07:49.280
And so I think part of me is a little concerned, like shows that he's

936
01:07:49.280 --> 01:07:50.800
romantically interested in you.

937
01:07:52.520 --> 01:07:55.080
Um, not verbally.

938
01:07:55.080 --> 01:07:59.480
So, but I would say verbally, but he is showing up.

939
01:07:59.520 --> 01:08:00.680
I mean, is he flirtatious?

940
01:08:00.680 --> 01:08:01.880
Is he touching you?

941
01:08:01.880 --> 01:08:05.200
Like, is he like, I'm not talking about.

942
01:08:06.880 --> 01:08:11.240
But like, you know, maybe putting in the hand, you know, his hand on the

943
01:08:11.240 --> 01:08:12.760
smaller, your back or anything like that.

944
01:08:12.800 --> 01:08:13.080
Okay.

945
01:08:13.080 --> 01:08:14.160
Nothing like that.

946
01:08:14.160 --> 01:08:16.240
But I think that's kind of like where I'm like, Oh, is it?

947
01:08:16.720 --> 01:08:20.040
So for some other contexts, he did share with me a little while

948
01:08:20.040 --> 01:08:22.120
back that he was married before.

949
01:08:22.200 --> 01:08:26.160
Um, he met the Lord like three, four years ago, and he felt like his past

950
01:08:26.160 --> 01:08:28.319
relationships were based on all physical stuff.

951
01:08:28.359 --> 01:08:30.000
And so he's like, I really want to try and.

952
01:08:30.680 --> 01:08:32.800
You know, he could, and that's another thing.

953
01:08:33.080 --> 01:08:34.920
So it could be a pendulum thing.

954
01:08:35.160 --> 01:08:40.600
I don't know, holding himself because if he was physical in the past and he really

955
01:08:40.600 --> 01:08:46.359
is trying to walk in, in abstinence before marriage, then maybe it's, he's

956
01:08:46.359 --> 01:08:53.319
having to put his own boundary up for his own self, I think this is where you

957
01:08:53.319 --> 01:08:59.319
guys have been in a, you know, level two relationship for some time now.

958
01:08:59.560 --> 01:09:00.359
You've gone on what?

959
01:09:00.359 --> 01:09:02.279
Like eight, nine dates.

960
01:09:02.479 --> 01:09:03.040
Uh, yeah.

961
01:09:03.080 --> 01:09:05.680
Eight, eight in-person, um, dates.

962
01:09:05.680 --> 01:09:06.080
Yeah.

963
01:09:06.160 --> 01:09:10.920
I think now it's, it's okay for you to just even bring up like, Hey, I noticed

964
01:09:10.920 --> 01:09:17.040
that, you know, you don't compliment me in a physical way and what I'm, how I am

965
01:09:17.040 --> 01:09:23.760
interpreting it is that you are not attracted to me or seeing him that way.

966
01:09:23.800 --> 01:09:27.960
And you know, again, sometimes it's just about having the open, honest

967
01:09:27.960 --> 01:09:32.399
conversation, because ladies, when we, and we want to sit here and we don't

968
01:09:32.399 --> 01:09:36.479
know, like, you're not going to know unless you ask now, ladies, I'm not

969
01:09:36.479 --> 01:09:39.800
saying for those of you that are in level two and you've only been on one or two

970
01:09:39.800 --> 01:09:42.560
dates, like don't, don't be asking these kinds of questions.

971
01:09:42.600 --> 01:09:49.640
And then I just, I have to say it because when I'm coaching ladies that have been.

972
01:09:50.240 --> 01:09:56.480
Dating for many, many dates and at least over a month, this is when it's

973
01:09:56.480 --> 01:09:58.720
appropriate to have these types of conversations.

974
01:09:58.720 --> 01:09:59.640
So I just, again, I.

975
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:02.080
Always want to make sure I preface it,

976
01:10:02.080 --> 01:10:03.380
because I'm sure there's going to be someone,

977
01:10:03.380 --> 01:10:06.840
well, I heard Karla say to ask this question,

978
01:10:06.840 --> 01:10:08.880
and they're asking that question on date number one and two,

979
01:10:08.880 --> 01:10:11.560
and I'll be like, yeah, but you didn't hear me.

980
01:10:11.560 --> 01:10:14.360
So, yeah, I think it's okay for you to say,

981
01:10:14.360 --> 01:10:16.000
hey, I've noticed this,

982
01:10:16.000 --> 01:10:18.080
and this is how it's starting to come up,

983
01:10:18.080 --> 01:10:21.720
and be honest, just be like,

984
01:10:21.720 --> 01:10:23.600
I'm getting insecure,

985
01:10:23.600 --> 01:10:26.960
because I'm worried that maybe you don't find me attractive.

986
01:10:27.800 --> 01:10:31.680
You know, put it, again, put it back on you,

987
01:10:31.680 --> 01:10:33.640
like this is how I'm experiencing it,

988
01:10:33.640 --> 01:10:35.440
this is how I'm feeling,

989
01:10:35.440 --> 01:10:39.200
and then let them kind of share with you.

990
01:10:39.200 --> 01:10:40.160
Does that make sense?

991
01:10:40.160 --> 01:10:41.000
Does that?

992
01:10:41.880 --> 01:10:44.760
But I think you're at a stage in this relationship

993
01:10:44.760 --> 01:10:45.920
where you can start having

994
01:10:45.920 --> 01:10:47.680
some of these conversations with him,

995
01:10:47.680 --> 01:10:49.840
and, you know, you don't have to second guess,

996
01:10:49.840 --> 01:10:52.160
you don't have to worry, wonder, tiptoe,

997
01:10:52.160 --> 01:10:53.760
does he like me, does he not like me?

998
01:10:53.760 --> 01:10:57.200
You know, like, communication and being open

999
01:10:57.200 --> 01:10:59.360
and vulnerable in a relationship

1000
01:10:59.360 --> 01:11:02.680
is part of the preparation process for marriage.

1001
01:11:02.680 --> 01:11:05.800
You will be vulnerable with your spouse in marriage,

1002
01:11:05.800 --> 01:11:08.600
and so you have to practice doing that

1003
01:11:08.600 --> 01:11:11.920
once you get into relationships and dating

1004
01:11:11.920 --> 01:11:15.160
when you've dated for some time, okay?

1005
01:11:15.160 --> 01:11:18.160
So again, repeat myself,

1006
01:11:18.160 --> 01:11:21.000
you've been on eight dates with this guy,

1007
01:11:21.000 --> 01:11:23.080
now is the time to get vulnerable

1008
01:11:23.080 --> 01:11:25.280
and have these kinds of conversations.

1009
01:11:26.880 --> 01:11:28.680
So when are you gonna see him next?

1010
01:11:29.840 --> 01:11:31.840
No, I just got back last night,

1011
01:11:31.840 --> 01:11:33.640
so we don't have plans yet,

1012
01:11:33.640 --> 01:11:35.960
but I'm assuming I'll see him this week.

1013
01:11:36.920 --> 01:11:39.440
So, yeah.

1014
01:11:39.440 --> 01:11:40.400
Bring it up to him,

1015
01:11:40.400 --> 01:11:41.440
because I mean, I'm guessing,

1016
01:11:41.440 --> 01:11:46.160
I mean, are any of your dates kind of romantic at all, or?

1017
01:11:47.160 --> 01:11:51.960
I mean, like, we've done, you know, dinner a few times,

1018
01:11:51.960 --> 01:11:54.040
we've done, like, he's sporty, I'm really sporty,

1019
01:11:54.040 --> 01:11:55.760
we've done a lot of active dates.

1020
01:11:55.760 --> 01:11:57.080
Yeah, I love that.

1021
01:11:57.080 --> 01:11:58.520
We have great conversation,

1022
01:11:58.520 --> 01:12:00.920
the last, like, couple of dates I had before

1023
01:12:00.920 --> 01:12:03.440
I left to go to Africa were a lot longer,

1024
01:12:03.440 --> 01:12:05.000
like, he just really,

1025
01:12:05.000 --> 01:12:06.680
I could tell he just, like, didn't wanna leave,

1026
01:12:06.680 --> 01:12:07.920
he was like,

1027
01:12:07.920 --> 01:12:10.400
because he knew he wasn't gonna see me for three weeks.

1028
01:12:10.400 --> 01:12:12.440
He's very acts of service oriented,

1029
01:12:12.440 --> 01:12:14.280
so if there's anything he can do for me,

1030
01:12:14.280 --> 01:12:16.680
he really goes out of his way to do it.

1031
01:12:16.680 --> 01:12:20.160
But, yeah, nothing that's, like, overly-

1032
01:12:20.160 --> 01:12:22.880
I would suggest a nice, like, dinner date,

1033
01:12:22.880 --> 01:12:24.840
I mean, it doesn't have to be anywhere fancy,

1034
01:12:24.840 --> 01:12:26.640
you know, but somewhere nice,

1035
01:12:26.640 --> 01:12:30.080
like, where you can have quiet conversation,

1036
01:12:30.080 --> 01:12:34.120
and have, you know, and have that conversation with him.

1037
01:12:35.240 --> 01:12:37.480
You know, now that you've seen him some way,

1038
01:12:37.480 --> 01:12:39.880
you were out of the country for three weeks,

1039
01:12:39.880 --> 01:12:42.800
you're, you know, you guys have dated,

1040
01:12:42.920 --> 01:12:46.080
you guys have dated for a little while now,

1041
01:12:46.080 --> 01:12:49.960
and so I think it's safe to go ahead and do that.

1042
01:12:51.320 --> 01:12:53.000
How would you lead that conversation,

1043
01:12:53.000 --> 01:12:55.080
or how would you throw it out there?

1044
01:12:55.080 --> 01:12:56.560
I mean, obviously you're gonna sit, you know,

1045
01:12:56.560 --> 01:12:58.360
have it sit down and have conversation,

1046
01:12:58.360 --> 01:13:00.640
and just, you know,

1047
01:13:00.640 --> 01:13:03.040
obviously you're not gonna dive into it the first,

1048
01:13:03.040 --> 01:13:05.000
you know, when you first sit down.

1049
01:13:05.000 --> 01:13:07.840
You know, catch up, you know,

1050
01:13:07.840 --> 01:13:09.800
what did you, you know, you can share about your trip,

1051
01:13:09.800 --> 01:13:11.680
he's gonna share about what he did over the three weeks,

1052
01:13:11.680 --> 01:13:13.920
and just be like, you know, hey, I was thinking,

1053
01:13:13.920 --> 01:13:15.600
does he know about this community?

1054
01:13:17.040 --> 01:13:19.240
Well, I think I mentioned it once,

1055
01:13:19.240 --> 01:13:21.000
but like not super in depth.

1056
01:13:22.160 --> 01:13:23.800
I mean, you can even say things like, you know,

1057
01:13:23.800 --> 01:13:24.640
I'm in this community,

1058
01:13:24.640 --> 01:13:27.880
and I'm trying to learn to date in a different way,

1059
01:13:27.880 --> 01:13:32.880
and, you know, it's really important to me

1060
01:13:33.640 --> 01:13:35.840
that I show up and be vulnerable,

1061
01:13:35.840 --> 01:13:37.840
and be honest in my communication,

1062
01:13:38.600 --> 01:13:42.200
you know, I noticed that you don't,

1063
01:13:43.520 --> 01:13:47.600
I noticed that you don't make compliments

1064
01:13:47.600 --> 01:13:50.800
about me physically, or whatever,

1065
01:13:50.800 --> 01:13:53.800
or like, you can say that.

1066
01:13:53.800 --> 01:13:56.360
Maybe you can just say, I noticed,

1067
01:13:56.360 --> 01:13:58.160
I'm sensing that there is,

1068
01:13:59.680 --> 01:14:01.440
not sensing, I'm questioning

1069
01:14:01.440 --> 01:14:04.480
what your level of attraction is for me.

1070
01:14:05.360 --> 01:14:07.360
Okay, that's a, yeah, that's a better way to phrase it.

1071
01:14:07.360 --> 01:14:09.480
Yeah, maybe approach it that way.

1072
01:14:11.320 --> 01:14:14.760
Because I'm trying to date more intentionally,

1073
01:14:14.760 --> 01:14:18.920
I'm trying to be open and honest about my communication,

1074
01:14:18.920 --> 01:14:23.040
and, you know, be vulnerable about my feelings,

1075
01:14:23.040 --> 01:14:26.640
so that I can show up as more of my authentic self,

1076
01:14:26.640 --> 01:14:31.640
and so I'm just curious as to why it might be

1077
01:14:31.760 --> 01:14:34.160
you don't make compliments,

1078
01:14:35.600 --> 01:14:37.120
and lead it that way,

1079
01:14:37.120 --> 01:14:39.600
and then just allow him time to talk.

1080
01:14:42.200 --> 01:14:45.000
But I think it could be a good,

1081
01:14:46.760 --> 01:14:49.600
good practice for you to kind of, you know,

1082
01:14:49.600 --> 01:14:53.560
step into more of a vulnerable position,

1083
01:14:53.560 --> 01:14:56.720
and see where, if this dating him

1084
01:14:56.720 --> 01:14:58.880
is gonna kind of shift to another level.

1085
01:14:58.880 --> 01:15:00.240
Again, like, you're not,

1086
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.960
I'm gonna be the one leading an exclusive conversation. I don't think that's what you're asking. You're not asking. Yeah, I'm asking that

1087
01:15:05.960 --> 01:15:12.640
Yeah, we're just wanting clarity on whether or not what his thoughts are about you. Does he find you physically attractive?

1088
01:15:13.080 --> 01:15:18.720
Mm-hmm. Is he interested in you in a way that could lead to

1089
01:15:19.600 --> 01:15:21.160
to that

1090
01:15:21.160 --> 01:15:24.960
It's not I mean to me. It sounds like if he is

1091
01:15:26.040 --> 01:15:27.560
if he

1092
01:15:27.560 --> 01:15:31.320
has opened up about being physical with people prior and

1093
01:15:31.840 --> 01:15:38.520
He's found the Lord. It sounds like he's probably trying to practice his own boundaries so that he doesn't cross. Okay

1094
01:15:39.320 --> 01:15:43.200
That's that would be I don't know anything about him. I've never met him

1095
01:15:43.200 --> 01:15:48.620
I've never talked to him. So I don't know his story. But from what you're hearing it that could possibly be why

1096
01:15:49.400 --> 01:15:53.920
About him the opportunity to share it with you if he's willing and ready to do that

1097
01:15:54.440 --> 01:16:01.080
Mm-hmm. Okay, you can only do so much and share where you're at and give him the opportunity to

1098
01:16:02.720 --> 01:16:04.720
To answer back

1099
01:16:04.960 --> 01:16:06.960
Mm-hmm, okay

1100
01:16:07.440 --> 01:16:11.640
But let us know how it goes. Okay. Okay. I'll let you know. All right

1101
01:16:12.160 --> 01:16:17.680
Thank you. All right, we're coming up on 75 minutes and I have been given instructions to cut it off

1102
01:16:17.680 --> 01:16:22.800
But I do see Lily you are on I'm gonna open the floor to you Melissa. I also think I saw your hand up

1103
01:16:23.680 --> 01:16:29.840
Okay, I wanted to give you the opportunity to but if we can make it short brief and powerful so we're not pushing

1104
01:16:30.520 --> 01:16:32.000
Yeah

1105
01:16:32.000 --> 01:16:33.680
75 minutes

1106
01:16:33.680 --> 01:16:37.640
I'll respect that. I'm working. So, um, I want to get it

1107
01:16:38.280 --> 01:16:45.200
So I have been out with this guy and it's interesting because it's so we went on two dates

1108
01:16:46.040 --> 01:16:51.520
Second date was on Saturday in person and this is separate from the guy that I told you about

1109
01:16:52.200 --> 01:16:56.520
In the guy about what you found out about him, yeah

1110
01:16:57.120 --> 01:17:01.240
Okay, I do. I do. I hope that you have time to quickly catch me up on

1111
01:17:01.960 --> 01:17:05.240
How that conversation happened? Okay, but you got this other guy

1112
01:17:07.000 --> 01:17:08.480
Language

1113
01:17:08.480 --> 01:17:11.920
Yeah, but yeah, you have a really good brain, but I try

1114
01:17:13.240 --> 01:17:17.280
But he has actually cleaned that up like there's this I

1115
01:17:17.880 --> 01:17:25.000
Yeah, this guy has been very consistent intentional like I love the way I feel around him

1116
01:17:27.480 --> 01:17:31.960
And let me preface that like or separate it I love the way I feel

1117
01:17:32.640 --> 01:17:35.280
Except for when I'm in person around him

1118
01:17:35.960 --> 01:17:38.080
so every I mean he's a

1119
01:17:38.880 --> 01:17:46.480
He's definitely someone that I is easy to talk to. He has a very strong anxious attachment and

1120
01:17:48.000 --> 01:17:49.560
also

1121
01:17:49.560 --> 01:17:55.120
We were while we were on the date. This has happened twice because we've been out together twice, but he's

1122
01:17:55.920 --> 01:18:02.200
So today on this second time on Saturday, he touched the bottom of my back

1123
01:18:02.200 --> 01:18:06.920
so right above my tailbone and I am NOT I

1124
01:18:07.640 --> 01:18:12.680
Felt like I wanted to take a bath and he's he's very he's a good-looking guy

1125
01:18:12.840 --> 01:18:16.800
There's like no reason and I'm like, what am I picking up on Holy Spirit?

1126
01:18:17.120 --> 01:18:22.160
And the Holy Spirit actually gave me a dream a few weeks ago about him

1127
01:18:22.160 --> 01:18:28.120
But so I'm trying to figure out how to tell him I brought it up in conversation last night

1128
01:18:28.120 --> 01:18:32.960
I asked him what his love language is and one of them is physical touch

1129
01:18:33.120 --> 01:18:39.640
Yeah, and so I wanted to I told him. Oh, well that is actually at the very bottom of my list

1130
01:18:40.080 --> 01:18:43.720
Okay, and so if and when he tries to do it again

1131
01:18:44.560 --> 01:18:46.560
Do I just say, you know just

1132
01:18:47.680 --> 01:18:54.000
Yeah, I think okay, so it kind of reminds me, you know, I don't know if you've heard Bethany even share like her

1133
01:18:55.560 --> 01:18:57.320
Her

1134
01:18:57.320 --> 01:19:03.920
Getting to know Brian her husband now and and I remember her sharing a story about how on their second date

1135
01:19:03.920 --> 01:19:05.880
Like they were going into a restaurant

1136
01:19:05.880 --> 01:19:09.680
She didn't find Brian physically attractive at first and she'll share this story, too

1137
01:19:09.720 --> 01:19:15.200
And he touched the small of her back and she remember as she remembers like recalling like hmm

1138
01:19:15.200 --> 01:19:17.760
I don't think I like that like she didn't know

1139
01:19:18.760 --> 01:19:25.200
Right away. And so I don't think there's anything wrong with you know, this feeling like oh, I don't know if I like that because again

1140
01:19:26.160 --> 01:19:28.840
You still don't know this person. So yeah

1141
01:19:30.240 --> 01:19:36.320
So I think that's like I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think now you have the opportunity to

1142
01:19:36.560 --> 01:19:39.400
To show up in your divine feminine and

1143
01:19:40.680 --> 01:19:46.760
You know express some boundaries and just say hey, you know, I know you said that your physical touch person

1144
01:19:46.760 --> 01:19:50.960
I'm not so much. I still feel like we're still trying to get to know each other

1145
01:19:51.200 --> 01:19:51.840
You know

1146
01:19:51.840 --> 01:19:56.360
I I would like for us to wait till we have more of a physical contact with each other

1147
01:19:56.560 --> 01:19:59.960
Until we've gotten some time to get to know each other a little better. Would that be okay?

1148
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:00.840
Okay for you.

1149
01:20:01.840 --> 01:20:02.340
Okay.

1150
01:20:02.480 --> 01:20:03.600
And, and put that on display.

1151
01:20:03.600 --> 01:20:07.760
I mean, ladies, Lily, I don't know if you typically come to my one o'clock calls

1152
01:20:07.760 --> 01:20:12.920
and I, I, I share this, so ladies that have, you know, not my call, I feel

1153
01:20:12.920 --> 01:20:14.200
like I share this all the time.

1154
01:20:14.200 --> 01:20:17.800
Like when my first date, he asked to kiss me and I told him no.

1155
01:20:18.760 --> 01:20:22.200
And, and I was, and I was, and I was very, you know, honest with him.

1156
01:20:22.200 --> 01:20:25.380
And I said, look, like, that's just something for me.

1157
01:20:25.400 --> 01:20:29.720
I'm not ready to have a physical connection with someone that I am not in

1158
01:20:29.720 --> 01:20:31.080
a committed relationship with.

1159
01:20:31.760 --> 01:20:37.640
And so, um, because I am, I am understanding that, you know, we're

1160
01:20:37.640 --> 01:20:39.480
dating, you know, people are dating.

1161
01:20:39.480 --> 01:20:40.960
You could be talking to other people.

1162
01:20:40.960 --> 01:20:44.840
I can be talking to other people and it's just a boundary

1163
01:20:44.840 --> 01:20:46.160
that I've put in place for myself.

1164
01:20:46.160 --> 01:20:48.760
And my husband was like, look, you don't have to explain yourself.

1165
01:20:49.080 --> 01:20:53.840
Like I will respect and value, um, that you're not ready for that.

1166
01:20:53.900 --> 01:20:58.280
And, and it's a fine, he's like, I still want to, I still want to get to know you.

1167
01:20:58.280 --> 01:20:59.480
I still want to date you.

1168
01:20:59.960 --> 01:21:01.280
I still want to see you again.

1169
01:21:01.640 --> 01:21:03.600
And he honored that.

1170
01:21:04.520 --> 01:21:04.960
Okay.

1171
01:21:05.060 --> 01:21:11.200
And so it's okay for you ladies to, again, I just preface about

1172
01:21:11.200 --> 01:21:13.200
showing up in a feminine way.

1173
01:21:13.680 --> 01:21:15.140
You're not coming off harshly.

1174
01:21:15.140 --> 01:21:20.400
You're coming off like, but like, because the divine masculine naturally is going

1175
01:21:20.400 --> 01:21:25.560
to want to provide, like provide and protect and, and it's, it's a covering.

1176
01:21:25.560 --> 01:21:28.640
Like the masculine covers the feminine.

1177
01:21:28.920 --> 01:21:33.080
Your husbands will cover you the way that God covers all of us.

1178
01:21:33.560 --> 01:21:38.440
And so when we step into that divine feminine, a man that's going

1179
01:21:38.440 --> 01:21:40.200
to have that divine masculinity.

1180
01:21:41.040 --> 01:21:44.960
And again, he might not always be operating it, but it will surface.

1181
01:21:44.960 --> 01:21:46.880
And they'll, they'll want to honor that.

1182
01:21:46.880 --> 01:21:48.000
They'll want to respect you.

1183
01:21:48.000 --> 01:21:49.080
They'll want to value you.

1184
01:21:49.080 --> 01:21:52.320
They'll see you as the treasure that you are, and they are

1185
01:21:52.320 --> 01:21:55.680
going to, um, take care of that.

1186
01:21:56.320 --> 01:22:00.240
So I don't think there's anything wrong with you expressing like, Hey, I

1187
01:22:00.240 --> 01:22:02.440
know that this is something for you.

1188
01:22:02.680 --> 01:22:04.480
I'm not ready for that.

1189
01:22:04.880 --> 01:22:08.480
I would really like for us to wait until we've gotten to know each other.

1190
01:22:09.000 --> 01:22:13.200
And maybe even been, and be in a committed relationship

1191
01:22:13.200 --> 01:22:15.520
before we, we cross those lines.

1192
01:22:16.080 --> 01:22:19.280
And it doesn't mean that you're ready to have a committed relationship.

1193
01:22:19.280 --> 01:22:22.680
You're just saying, I'm going to wait until I'm in a committed relationship.

1194
01:22:22.720 --> 01:22:24.040
I mean, that's what I did with my husband.

1195
01:22:24.560 --> 01:22:27.760
And even then, when my husband was like, we decided to be exclusive

1196
01:22:27.760 --> 01:22:29.320
and he asked me to be exclusive.

1197
01:22:30.000 --> 01:22:32.200
He didn't assume that I wanted to kiss him right away.

1198
01:22:33.400 --> 01:22:33.920
Okay.

1199
01:22:34.280 --> 01:22:38.000
He was like, he's like, look, I know that, you know, we're now exclusive.

1200
01:22:38.040 --> 01:22:41.280
I want you to know that I want you to let me know when you're ready.

1201
01:22:41.760 --> 01:22:43.200
He, he put it on me.

1202
01:22:43.600 --> 01:22:46.800
Like then I had to be the one to make the move, but I respect her.

1203
01:22:46.800 --> 01:22:52.000
I appreciated it because it made me also realize it's.

1204
01:22:53.000 --> 01:22:58.800
He wasn't just throwing the exclusive conversation out just to kiss me.

1205
01:22:59.840 --> 01:23:00.280
Yeah.

1206
01:23:01.320 --> 01:23:03.120
And so that's what that showed me.

1207
01:23:03.640 --> 01:23:08.360
So again, I think this is practice practice these good boundaries.

1208
01:23:08.400 --> 01:23:11.560
I think you, I've seen so much growth in you.

1209
01:23:11.600 --> 01:23:14.280
I'm thankful that you see the growth in yourself.

1210
01:23:15.160 --> 01:23:17.000
Um, so exciting.

1211
01:23:17.520 --> 01:23:20.680
Yeah, because typically I'll just come off.

1212
01:23:21.120 --> 01:23:23.480
Like I'm the one with too many walls.

1213
01:23:24.120 --> 01:23:27.920
Yeah, no, I remember you did come to one of my calls and then I think I was on

1214
01:23:27.920 --> 01:23:33.440
an evening call with Ebony and I remember you were, you, you had a lot of walls.

1215
01:23:33.440 --> 01:23:36.280
You had, I could, I totally see that.

1216
01:23:36.280 --> 01:23:44.160
And I appreciate how open you've been to our coaching and even expressing.

1217
01:23:44.640 --> 01:23:49.280
To, you know, the women in the community of just how much growth you've

1218
01:23:49.320 --> 01:23:53.800
had from the wisdom that you've gotten and how it's, it's just been a testimony.

1219
01:23:54.200 --> 01:23:56.080
You know, that's important.

1220
01:23:56.080 --> 01:23:58.920
Ladies is, you know, your love stories are going to be such a

1221
01:23:58.920 --> 01:24:00.840
testimony to so many people.

1222
01:24:01.280 --> 01:24:03.320
Like, it's going to be awesome.

1223
01:24:03.360 --> 01:24:08.840
Like, and this, this community is just built on testimonies.

1224
01:24:09.400 --> 01:24:15.440
I mean, like I said, I've been here since 2020, like, like I've seen so many love

1225
01:24:15.440 --> 01:24:17.640
stories, like there's, there's over 1600.

1226
01:24:17.640 --> 01:24:21.200
I mean, Jackie and I were talking about that this weekend when we were out and

1227
01:24:21.760 --> 01:24:25.960
it's just really, really cool to see what this, what, what God is doing in this

1228
01:24:25.960 --> 01:24:26.440
community.

1229
01:24:26.440 --> 01:24:32.760
So I appreciate your willingness to show up and be vulnerable and be open and doing

1230
01:24:32.760 --> 01:24:37.200
the uncomfortable, stretching yourself and seeing the fruit that comes with it.

1231
01:24:39.000 --> 01:24:39.440
Yes.

1232
01:24:39.440 --> 01:24:40.000
Thank you.

1233
01:24:40.400 --> 01:24:41.120
You are welcome.

1234
01:24:41.440 --> 01:24:46.720
All right, ladies, I, we're at 85 minutes, so I'm going to go ahead and take us off.

1235
01:24:46.720 --> 01:24:48.320
I only, I only went 10 minutes over.

1236
01:24:48.360 --> 01:24:49.400
I'm proud of myself.

1237
01:24:49.440 --> 01:24:51.440
I can report to Jackie.

1238
01:24:51.680 --> 01:24:58.440
Like, look, I kept it within 10 minutes of your 75 minutes, but just anticipate that

1239
01:24:58.840 --> 01:25:00.000
these calls are going to be.

1240
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:10.400
more of the question, answer, ask, unpack, let's dive into your dating situations or any,

1241
01:25:10.400 --> 01:25:16.720
even if you're not dating and things are surfacing, you come here and we can unpack it with you.

1242
01:25:16.720 --> 01:25:20.240
Okay. We'll be doing probably just like a little bit of teaching, housekeeping stuff, and then

1243
01:25:20.880 --> 01:25:27.520
we'll dive into that. Okay. Come on tonight at eight o'clock, if you can, with Ebony.

1244
01:25:28.400 --> 01:25:33.520
She's always a riot and ask her questions. Melissa, I know you had your hand up.

1245
01:25:33.520 --> 01:25:39.680
If you want to post in the community, if there was something specific that you wanted to unpack,

1246
01:25:39.680 --> 01:25:44.880
let us know and we can respond to you there. Or if you can come to the eight o'clock call with

1247
01:25:44.880 --> 01:25:52.160
Ebony, I'm sure she would love to unpack things with you as well. Okay. All right, ladies, it's

1248
01:25:52.160 --> 01:25:57.440
been such a pleasure, such an honor. I love you all so much and have a wonderful rest of your

1249
01:25:57.440 --> 01:26:04.160
Tuesday. Feel better, Carla. Thank you. Thank you.