WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:08.360
Awesome. Well, welcome to another edition of Love Story, last year's single. We're so

2
00:00:08.360 --> 00:00:13.760
excited to be here tonight. I'm going to apologize in advance. Y'all have been very sick since

3
00:00:13.760 --> 00:00:19.640
last Friday. And so if I cough, I'm going to probably mute and pass it either over to

4
00:00:19.640 --> 00:00:23.320
my husband. Well, I guess I won't mute if he's talking or I'll pass it back to one of

5
00:00:23.320 --> 00:00:26.760
the couples, but we're going to kick off. We're going to have a lot of fun. We have

6
00:00:26.760 --> 00:00:33.120
three amazing couples here with us tonight, and they have all been on incredible journeys

7
00:00:33.120 --> 00:00:38.680
to find each other. And God has done a great work. And for those of you that don't know,

8
00:00:38.680 --> 00:00:43.080
I'm Bethany Cooper. I'm one of the team members in last year's single. One of the hard work

9
00:00:43.080 --> 00:00:47.480
coaches. This is my amazing husband, Brian, for those of you that haven't met him before.

10
00:00:47.480 --> 00:00:52.520
And then the couples we do have joining us tonight are Jeremy and Carla Johnson, Skyler

11
00:00:52.520 --> 00:00:58.920
and Samantha Simpson, excuse me. And then David and Jenny, is it Lydon or Lydon? How

12
00:00:58.920 --> 00:00:59.920
do you say it?

13
00:00:59.920 --> 00:01:00.920
Lydon. Yeah, Lydon.

14
00:01:00.920 --> 00:01:07.640
Okay, awesome. I love that accent. Yeah. So that's who's joining us tonight. And the way

15
00:01:07.640 --> 00:01:12.360
that we're going to kick this off for all the couples, just as a reminder, is I'm going

16
00:01:12.360 --> 00:01:15.960
to go ahead and pick one of you to start. And we're going to kind of do what I'm going

17
00:01:15.960 --> 00:01:20.640
to call a round robin. Each person in the couple is going to take five minutes to share

18
00:01:20.720 --> 00:01:27.360
from your perspective, what God did in your lives before he brought you together. You know,

19
00:01:27.360 --> 00:01:32.160
that's including what, what did God lead you to do in heartwork? And for those that weren't

20
00:01:32.160 --> 00:01:36.880
a part of maybe the last year single community, similar to Brian and I, I came through the last

21
00:01:36.880 --> 00:01:42.240
year single community, but he didn't, but he had done his heartwork before he came in.

22
00:01:42.240 --> 00:01:47.440
And he was able to share from that perspective. So don't feel like you have to share or that you

23
00:01:47.440 --> 00:01:52.240
don't have something to share. If you didn't come through our program, you want to share whatever

24
00:01:52.240 --> 00:01:58.320
God did in you before God brought you together as a couple to prepare you to meet the person

25
00:01:58.320 --> 00:02:04.240
that you're now with. And then whatever else you feel led to share, you know, the highlights

26
00:02:04.240 --> 00:02:07.920
and all the things along the way that brought you together, but each person in the couple is

27
00:02:07.920 --> 00:02:12.320
going to share that. And then what we're going to do from there is I'm going to ask additional

28
00:02:12.320 --> 00:02:18.480
questions based on what I know about the couples and the things that you share to really continue

29
00:02:18.480 --> 00:02:24.400
that dialogue. We're going to even open it up possibly for those joining us tonight to ask

30
00:02:24.400 --> 00:02:30.880
questions. We have three families tonight. Well, actually four, Brian and I are a blended family

31
00:02:30.880 --> 00:02:36.320
as well, but four couples here that are all blended families. I thought that was super cool.

32
00:02:36.320 --> 00:02:43.440
That wasn't even on purpose. And lots of other incredible aspects we're going to pull out tonight.

33
00:02:43.440 --> 00:02:48.320
So without further ado, the way we'll kind of do the round robin is I'll start with

34
00:02:48.320 --> 00:02:54.400
Jeremy and Carla, then we'll go to Skylar and Samantha, and then David and Jenny, and we'll kind

35
00:02:54.400 --> 00:02:58.800
of stay in that rotation to make it easy for you all. So I'm going to go ahead and turn it over

36
00:02:58.800 --> 00:03:04.480
to Jeremy and Carla for you all to share your testimony and journey, how God brought you together.

37
00:03:05.040 --> 00:03:10.480
Awesome. Okay, great. Thank you so much. All right. So good to see everybody. I see a lot of familiar

38
00:03:10.480 --> 00:03:17.920
faces. So it's so happy. I'm so blessed as always to be able to share a bit of my story, our story

39
00:03:18.800 --> 00:03:25.280
with the community as it's been such an amazing blessing to me. So many of you that know me

40
00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:32.640
know that I came in to this program at the very beginning in 2020. And so I had been doing my

41
00:03:32.640 --> 00:03:41.680
heartwork for, it felt like forever. And so I met my husband. And in fact, I was at a point where

42
00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:48.800
it was in 2022. And that was the year that I was like, man, this is the year I'm going to be the

43
00:03:48.800 --> 00:03:53.360
bride. This is our year. It's kind of what we prophetically spoke over the community

44
00:03:53.360 --> 00:04:00.000
for the year 2022. And it was nearing the end of the year. And I was just at a crossroads. I was

45
00:04:00.080 --> 00:04:07.280
just, I mean, very much discouraged and was just like, okay, like, if it's not going to happen,

46
00:04:07.280 --> 00:04:13.120
it's not going to happen. And so, you know, I had a lot of conversations with a lot of the women in

47
00:04:13.120 --> 00:04:20.079
the community, and even Jackie. We were such a smaller group. So I did have more time with Jackie

48
00:04:20.079 --> 00:04:25.120
and she had reached out to me and she was just very real with me and was like, look, you're the

49
00:04:25.120 --> 00:04:34.480
bride. She gave me a word of knowledge. She really poured into me. She really highlighted to me this

50
00:04:34.480 --> 00:04:40.480
idea of being open to relocating because I was living in Florida. And ladies and gentlemen,

51
00:04:41.120 --> 00:04:47.840
one of my non-negotiables was the man was going to relocate to me in Florida because I was

52
00:04:47.840 --> 00:04:54.880
gung-ho about living in Florida. And, you know, Jackie just, you know, spoke to my heart of this

53
00:04:54.880 --> 00:04:59.760
idea of, you know, maybe my husband wasn't near my location.

54
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:04.560
And so she's like, doesn't mean that you're leaving Florida, but you just need to be open to it.

55
00:05:04.560 --> 00:05:09.920
And so, because I was just at a point where I'm like, you know what, I can't keep operating the

56
00:05:09.920 --> 00:05:16.080
way that I'm operating and trying to control and be in the driver's seat. And so I was just like,

57
00:05:16.080 --> 00:05:23.360
well, if it's going to happen, God's going to have to just do something. And, and I remember

58
00:05:23.360 --> 00:05:31.280
specifically, I mean, just being very, very candid with her and having a very emotional

59
00:05:31.280 --> 00:05:35.360
conversation with her. I remember just breaking down into tears because I was just like, I just

60
00:05:35.360 --> 00:05:40.560
don't know if I can do this. I feel like I was failing as a mom and dating was taking a toll

61
00:05:40.560 --> 00:05:46.800
on me at the time. And she's like, look, borrow my faith, you know? And so I really held onto that.

62
00:05:46.800 --> 00:05:51.840
I was like, okay, if she believes it, then I'm just going to believe it. But I really had to

63
00:05:51.840 --> 00:05:57.680
surrender the pen and just release whatever God was going to do. And, you know, having been in

64
00:05:57.680 --> 00:06:04.640
the program for over two years and really working on heartwork after that conversation, it was a

65
00:06:04.640 --> 00:06:10.480
breaking point. Like it was the tipping point, like something shifted in the spirit. And a week

66
00:06:10.480 --> 00:06:17.120
later, my husband dropped into my DMs because one of the sisters here in the community was in another

67
00:06:17.440 --> 00:06:24.080
Facebook single Christian group or something. And she saw his profile and was like, hey,

68
00:06:24.080 --> 00:06:31.360
what do you think of this guy? And I was like, yeah, he's okay. Like, sure. Like, whatever.

69
00:06:32.080 --> 00:06:36.720
Because that had happened to me before where people were trying to set me up. And so I was

70
00:06:36.720 --> 00:06:43.840
like, okay, sure. And then the guy never really did anything. And so never reached out, whatever.

71
00:06:43.920 --> 00:06:51.360
And so I was kind of in that mentality. But she reached out to him and he did. He dropped in my

72
00:06:51.360 --> 00:06:58.000
DMs. And I was like, okay. I thought he lived in Florida. And I found out fairly quickly, he's like,

73
00:06:58.000 --> 00:07:05.200
oh, no, I don't live in Florida. I live in Texas. And I remember saying to him, being like, well,

74
00:07:06.160 --> 00:07:11.520
my mentor says I need to be open to long distance. So I guess we can try this out.

75
00:07:11.520 --> 00:07:15.600
And so we chatted for about three weeks or so. We were long distance, obviously.

76
00:07:16.240 --> 00:07:25.120
And yeah. And then he came out to visit me. He had worked out in Florida. And then, yeah. So

77
00:07:25.120 --> 00:07:32.080
that's kind of how we met. And ladies, I wanted to cut and run. I will tell you that. Like, I had

78
00:07:32.800 --> 00:07:38.320
several times where I was like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. And he knows the story.

79
00:07:38.400 --> 00:07:45.920
But I had to really surrender the pen and I had to be open and getting myself out of my comfort

80
00:07:45.920 --> 00:07:52.800
zone to really allow God to start moving and shifting. And, you know, God did miraculous

81
00:07:52.800 --> 00:07:58.480
things and really showed and confirmed a lot of words and just a lot of things that the Lord had

82
00:07:58.480 --> 00:08:07.360
been speaking to my heart over several years. And God was able to show that. So that's inevitably,

83
00:08:07.360 --> 00:08:12.160
you know, how we kind of got introduced. But I'll let I'll let him kind of share his side.

84
00:08:21.840 --> 00:08:26.800
We can't hear we can't hear you very well. Can you speak closer to your microphone?

85
00:08:28.320 --> 00:08:35.280
Yes, because you don't hear me. Yeah. I just think the microphone is pointed towards you.

86
00:08:35.280 --> 00:08:38.159
I know he's been sick, too. You know, we've both been so sick.

87
00:08:41.840 --> 00:08:53.520
Um, no, I, um, I was a wheeler. My little wife passed away. And it was just me. It was my son.

88
00:08:54.640 --> 00:09:01.520
My daughter. And so, you know, for the next four years or so, you know, obviously, we've been going

89
00:09:01.600 --> 00:09:07.200
to counseling and things like that, you know, not only for that situation, but, you know, also

90
00:09:07.200 --> 00:09:14.240
to just, you know, for me to build on myself, right. You know, there were several different

91
00:09:14.240 --> 00:09:19.680
things that I need to work on personally. And so, you know, I kind of went through that particular

92
00:09:19.680 --> 00:09:24.400
part of my life. And, you know, throughout that time, there was dating and, you know,

93
00:09:24.400 --> 00:09:28.880
I finally just got to a point where I was like, you know, I can't.

94
00:09:31.760 --> 00:09:36.240
I can't continue to try to pick out a bad picker. So I'm like, you know what,

95
00:09:36.240 --> 00:09:45.280
God, you're going to have to figure this out. I can't do it. And so, you know, once I did that,

96
00:09:45.280 --> 00:09:51.200
you know, it was probably, you know, three to four months later, you know, I'm in this

97
00:09:51.200 --> 00:09:57.120
Christian group, and I get this random message from somebody, I don't know who the heck they

98
00:09:57.120 --> 00:09:59.840
are. And they're like, you know, hey, I got a

99
00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:04.120
friend that, you know, you may be interested in. I'm like, you know, you know, you will

100
00:10:04.120 --> 00:10:10.680
you reach out or whatever. And I'm like, I told God, it has to be a pretty bizarre situation,

101
00:10:10.680 --> 00:10:17.520
the confirmation for me, because I don't want to play as if though I'm coming up with this

102
00:10:17.520 --> 00:10:23.120
confirmation and, you know, kind of look and find the right thing. And oh, that's, that's

103
00:10:23.120 --> 00:10:29.360
God. I wanted something crazy or something weird, you know, so and that was pretty weird.

104
00:10:29.360 --> 00:10:36.120
And so I, you know, I reached out through Messenger, you know, and then she got back

105
00:10:36.120 --> 00:10:40.360
to me after that. And we talked for about three weeks. And, you know, then I flew out

106
00:10:40.360 --> 00:10:46.520
there because I was working in Clearwater, Florida, went back and forth every two months

107
00:10:46.520 --> 00:10:51.840
and, you know, went and met her for the first time on our first date. And more or less the

108
00:10:51.840 --> 00:10:56.800
rest was history. But, you know, that was kind of the biggest thing for me was I was

109
00:10:56.840 --> 00:11:02.040
tired of being in the whole dating thing and choosing myself. And, you know, finally just

110
00:11:02.040 --> 00:11:06.360
told God, like, look, I'm done choosing, you're gonna have to figure it out for me. You're

111
00:11:06.360 --> 00:11:11.320
gonna have to choose for me because I'm tired of dating the wrong people. And he did something

112
00:11:11.320 --> 00:11:13.720
weird. So that made it happen for me.

113
00:11:17.320 --> 00:11:23.400
I love that. So just curious, Jeremy, can you, I related to when you said you felt like

114
00:11:23.400 --> 00:11:27.720
you had a bad picker. That's something I used to say a lot. Do you agree with that

115
00:11:27.720 --> 00:11:28.200
statement?

116
00:11:28.200 --> 00:11:29.000
I think I said it too.

117
00:11:29.200 --> 00:11:34.960
Yeah. So when God brought Brian and I together, that was something we actually had in

118
00:11:34.960 --> 00:11:41.000
common. That's how we felt before God brought us together. And I think I saw somebody

119
00:11:41.000 --> 00:11:45.200
else say in the chat, they have said that before. And so I just want to kind of draw

120
00:11:45.200 --> 00:11:50.240
that out a little bit. Like, I know that you were asking God to do something, you know,

121
00:11:50.240 --> 00:11:56.800
different to bring this person to your attention. But in meeting Carla that first time, or

122
00:11:56.800 --> 00:12:02.040
the second time, I'm sure it was multiple times and getting to know her. What through

123
00:12:02.040 --> 00:12:08.560
this process has helped you to know that, you know, God was defending you and protecting

124
00:12:08.560 --> 00:12:15.080
you and providing for you, the easier he had been preparing for you. And that maybe it

125
00:12:15.080 --> 00:12:19.880
wasn't so much that the picker was wrong, but maybe the healing that needed to happen

126
00:12:19.880 --> 00:12:24.200
from what you went through, you know, as you shared, you know, you lost your former

127
00:12:24.760 --> 00:12:30.280
spouse and the healing that needed to happen to bring a healthy person into your life.

128
00:12:31.080 --> 00:12:34.160
So what do you think a couple of those things were for you?

129
00:12:34.200 --> 00:12:41.040
So, I mean, I can tell you that, number one, I think, you know, it was more of a

130
00:12:41.040 --> 00:12:45.320
conflict, to your point, thinking that my picker was bad. But I think throughout that

131
00:12:45.320 --> 00:12:50.600
journey, God was really doing something in my heart, because, you know, you attract as

132
00:12:50.600 --> 00:12:55.280
healthy as you are, from what I understand, right? So, you know, he kind of put me in a

133
00:12:55.280 --> 00:13:00.760
different place, and just the different areas of confirmation just was helping me better

134
00:13:00.760 --> 00:13:05.480
understand that, you know, that this was God. I mean, there were things that I had prayed

135
00:13:05.480 --> 00:13:14.080
to him several years prior, that she was, you know, exactly. So, you know, I think that

136
00:13:14.240 --> 00:13:21.000
at the end of the day, he really ministered to me in knowing that, you know, because at

137
00:13:21.000 --> 00:13:24.720
some point, you know, I kind of felt like, you know, it's just never going to happen for

138
00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:30.040
me. And then, you know, out of nowhere, he kind of brings, you know, Carla in front of

139
00:13:30.040 --> 00:13:35.680
me. And so that was, you know, number one, him showing me that he loved me, that he saw

140
00:13:35.680 --> 00:13:42.280
me, that he thought that I was worthy, you know, of love, especially with, you know, some

141
00:13:42.280 --> 00:13:47.400
of the history that I had. So, you know, that in itself, I think, you know, God kind of

142
00:13:47.400 --> 00:13:56.040
dealt with me personally, in my heart. And I can tell you that through Carla, you know,

143
00:13:56.040 --> 00:14:03.480
he has used her as also a vessel to help kind of heal those areas as well, alongside

144
00:14:03.480 --> 00:14:06.640
other people such as pastors and counselors and so on and so forth.

145
00:14:08.000 --> 00:14:11.600
That's so good. Thank you so much for sharing that. And as you were sharing, you know, that

146
00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:15.840
you really felt like God was showing you how much he loved you and how much he saw you.

147
00:14:15.840 --> 00:14:18.160
We talk about that a lot in this community.

148
00:14:18.600 --> 00:14:22.280
And so I don't think it's a coincidence that you shared that tonight as well.

149
00:14:22.280 --> 00:14:25.880
Thank you all for kicking us off and sharing the beginning of your story.

150
00:14:25.880 --> 00:14:27.800
We're going to come back to you here in just a little bit.

151
00:14:28.120 --> 00:14:32.920
Samantha and Skylar, if you all can share your story and kind of how God brought you

152
00:14:32.920 --> 00:14:34.760
together, we'd love for you all to go.

153
00:14:35.160 --> 00:14:37.000
Yeah, sorry.

154
00:14:37.000 --> 00:14:41.240
Our house is so chaotic because we have so many small people living here.

155
00:14:42.040 --> 00:14:43.360
So sorry about that.

156
00:14:43.520 --> 00:14:46.400
But yeah, so I guess I'll start.

157
00:14:46.680 --> 00:14:53.200
I was a part of the M12M group and met Jackie and Carla, you look familiar.

158
00:14:53.200 --> 00:14:56.080
And it's probably because I was in the same group with you.

159
00:14:56.080 --> 00:14:59.800
So so fun to see you again.

160
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:09.120
Um, yeah, so I had left, um, I had two small children. I, uh, had been married for seven years,

161
00:15:09.120 --> 00:15:20.160
um, to, uh, one, when I got pregnant with my first, um, my, my then husband, um, uh, began

162
00:15:20.160 --> 00:15:26.240
drinking too much and I think he just couldn't really handle fatherhood well. And so addiction

163
00:15:26.240 --> 00:15:32.720
became kind of this, this new battle in our life. And, uh, he got sober for a short time and I had

164
00:15:32.720 --> 00:15:39.520
my daughter who was just beautiful. Um, and then with that pregnancy, uh, he, he slipped right back

165
00:15:39.520 --> 00:15:46.240
into the pills and the, and the alcohol and all of, all of the things to, to help him cope. Um,

166
00:15:46.240 --> 00:15:53.120
and so that was really hard. So when I chose to leave with my two kids, um, my son was three and

167
00:15:53.120 --> 00:15:59.680
a half and my, no, I guess he was four. He was four. And my daughter was a year and a half.

168
00:16:00.720 --> 00:16:10.880
And I left and man, like I was mad, really mad. Um, and so I had this desire of having this like

169
00:16:10.880 --> 00:16:19.680
God centered marriage, but to me, everything, it just marriage was a prison and, you know,

170
00:16:19.680 --> 00:16:26.560
we got out and I was really fortunate, um, to, you know, have a really great career with the two

171
00:16:26.560 --> 00:16:30.880
kids. So money wasn't really a concern. So I was like, let's go to Disneyland. Let's go to

172
00:16:30.880 --> 00:16:36.560
universal. We ain't need no man, you know? And that was really, you know, the, the life that we

173
00:16:36.560 --> 00:16:42.400
were kind of like living in this dream world. And the moment we would think about, you know,

174
00:16:42.400 --> 00:16:49.600
bringing a dad into this situation, like I was just so angry and I'm like, man, this guy better

175
00:16:49.600 --> 00:16:56.000
be perfect. And, um, I remember going over like this list. I'm like, I don't want to share my,

176
00:16:56.000 --> 00:17:04.400
I was like, well, my ex-husband, obviously this is going to be really surprising. Um, didn't show

177
00:17:04.400 --> 00:17:11.040
up as a co-parenting father. Um, and so to me, I was like, I don't have to share my, like, I,

178
00:17:11.599 --> 00:17:16.480
I don't, he doesn't have to share my kids. Like he gets to have my kids. So I don't want,

179
00:17:17.119 --> 00:17:22.640
you know, so I was like, I don't want someone who has a previous marriage. I don't want someone

180
00:17:22.640 --> 00:17:27.920
that has any issues. I definitely don't want addiction. Just like this long laundry list of

181
00:17:27.920 --> 00:17:33.760
like, I just want this innocent boy to come out. That's like, I've never experienced anything.

182
00:17:33.760 --> 00:17:42.000
And let me adopt your children. And, um, I was in my thirties and apparently that's not realistic.

183
00:17:42.000 --> 00:17:50.400
And so, um, uh, my, and so Jackie would tell, tell me that like, you need to be open for love. So

184
00:17:50.960 --> 00:17:56.240
I tried to online date for a hot five minutes. And I was like, you know what? Like, I don't like

185
00:17:56.240 --> 00:18:02.160
this. I don't like this at all. So I was like, either like somehow supernaturally, I'm just

186
00:18:02.160 --> 00:18:10.160
going to meet someone and I'll know, or I guess I'll worry about it later. But right now we're

187
00:18:10.160 --> 00:18:15.600
going to go have adventure days every Saturday. So that's what we were doing. So we were kind of

188
00:18:15.600 --> 00:18:22.960
living our best life and, um, and not dating. And Jackie would be like, Hey, I want to post

189
00:18:22.960 --> 00:18:27.360
your picture in this group. And I'm like, thinking about it, but I don't know. We're

190
00:18:27.360 --> 00:18:33.840
living a pretty cool life, you know? So, but I had this desire to be married and, you know,

191
00:18:33.840 --> 00:18:40.480
and so I had this like fantasy, but I wasn't quite ready. So I just would pray. Cause she kept saying

192
00:18:40.480 --> 00:18:45.120
like, you need to be expectant of the good. You need to, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

193
00:18:45.120 --> 00:18:50.320
And so I was like, okay, okay. Okay. So I was like praying for this. Like, God, you know,

194
00:18:50.320 --> 00:18:58.720
my desire, you know, I want my kids to have a dad. Um, but I'm also like, want this perfect

195
00:18:58.720 --> 00:19:03.920
package. So, um, anyway, so I did that. And so I get this, like that summer, I got a

196
00:19:04.960 --> 00:19:09.920
Facebook message from this guy that I went to like middle school and high school with

197
00:19:09.920 --> 00:19:16.720
total nerd alert. Okay. Like just, you know, one of those 4.0 students that like,

198
00:19:17.680 --> 00:19:24.000
doesn't really have anything else going on except school. And so I was very frustrated because

199
00:19:24.560 --> 00:19:30.160
had after I had kind of posted that I was divorced or changed my relationship status. I don't,

200
00:19:30.160 --> 00:19:35.280
I don't know if you guys know this, but it like sends a message to everyone you ever knew. And

201
00:19:35.280 --> 00:19:39.680
so I was just getting like all these private messages. We should go to dinner. Let me get

202
00:19:39.680 --> 00:19:44.800
coffee. And I was like, loser, loser, loser, loser, stop. So this guy messages me. And I

203
00:19:44.880 --> 00:19:49.440
remember he was really kind because he was, you know, a total nerd. And so I was like,

204
00:19:49.440 --> 00:19:55.120
Hey, yeah, cool. Thanks. So fun to see you love that you're doing well. Also don't have time.

205
00:19:55.120 --> 00:19:59.840
So that's how I feel. And then I just kept doing that. He'd be like, okay.

206
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:03.120
yeah, I'll just check in later. And I was like, okay, like what

207
00:20:03.120 --> 00:20:05.520
a dummy. So then two weeks later, he'd like messaged me

208
00:20:05.520 --> 00:20:08.880
again. He's like, Hey, has it slowed down a lot? I just saw

209
00:20:08.880 --> 00:20:10.720
some pictures that you were in Disneyland. Like, how did that

210
00:20:10.720 --> 00:20:13.000
go? Cool. Did you want to hang out? And I was like, actually,

211
00:20:13.000 --> 00:20:15.320
we're living our best life. We're doing fine. Don't have

212
00:20:15.320 --> 00:20:17.680
time. She's like, Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool. Then he'd like

213
00:20:17.680 --> 00:20:20.840
reach out again. He's like, Hey, I saw you went to family camp

214
00:20:20.840 --> 00:20:24.280
looks so fun. So is it slowing down now? Do you want me to

215
00:20:24.280 --> 00:20:27.360
wait? Like he just had no idea that I was blowing him off. It

216
00:20:27.360 --> 00:20:31.040
was so dumb. And so then finally, I was like, Oh, my

217
00:20:31.040 --> 00:20:36.720
gosh, okay, fine. Let's go. Let's go get coffee. So I show

218
00:20:36.720 --> 00:20:42.280
up at this coffee house and I bring my laptop and I set it up

219
00:20:42.280 --> 00:20:46.160
and I'm like, Hey, I'm so sorry. I'm actually so busy and I'm so

220
00:20:46.160 --> 00:20:50.800
important because my job is so important. I have to work while

221
00:20:50.800 --> 00:20:56.480
I get coffee with you. And that was like my attitude because I

222
00:20:56.520 --> 00:21:00.240
was just like, I don't even want to be here. So I hope you know

223
00:21:00.240 --> 00:21:03.760
that I'm choosing work over you. Like that's how unimportant you

224
00:21:03.760 --> 00:21:09.360
are. Um, luckily, he didn't get the message because he's just

225
00:21:09.360 --> 00:21:12.280
went way over his head. So anyways, he's like, Yeah, of

226
00:21:12.280 --> 00:21:17.000
course, like work is important. And I was like, what's wrong

227
00:21:17.000 --> 00:21:21.040
with you? And so anyway, so we chit chat and I'm telling him

228
00:21:21.040 --> 00:21:25.560
like, yeah, I'm in seminary for apologetics and I'm doing all

229
00:21:25.560 --> 00:21:28.280
these things. And he was like, Oh, I love apologetics. And then

230
00:21:28.280 --> 00:21:31.160
that was like, totally weird, right? So like, how do you even

231
00:21:31.160 --> 00:21:36.040
know what apologetics is? And, and so he's like, Oh, like, I

232
00:21:36.040 --> 00:21:39.040
study apologetics. And so now we're like, like talking all

233
00:21:39.040 --> 00:21:43.280
about this stuff. And, and it was it was pretty cool. I'm not

234
00:21:43.280 --> 00:21:51.000
gonna lie, it was really fun. But I was just not into it being

235
00:21:51.000 --> 00:21:56.280
a good time. So we talked for like two hours. And naturally, I

236
00:21:56.280 --> 00:21:59.320
never looked at my computer because I wasn't really as

237
00:21:59.320 --> 00:22:04.560
important as I pretended to be. So I so we go two and a half

238
00:22:04.560 --> 00:22:07.640
hours or whatever. And then I got to go because like, you

239
00:22:07.640 --> 00:22:10.680
know, my kids are gonna show up eventually. And so like, all

240
00:22:10.680 --> 00:22:14.400
right, like I'm out these and so we start walking out and I just

241
00:22:14.400 --> 00:22:19.560
had this like, this just this feeling like he's gonna be your

242
00:22:19.560 --> 00:22:23.440
husband and it's going to be good. And I felt that and I was

243
00:22:23.440 --> 00:22:29.480
so mad. I like we're walking to my car and I was like, Yeah, so

244
00:22:29.520 --> 00:22:39.760
anyway, um, I'm a lesbian. Like, like, so conservative. I'm a

245
00:22:39.800 --> 00:22:44.040
lesbian. It doesn't make any sense. But anyway, so like,

246
00:22:44.040 --> 00:22:48.480
yeah, so just thought I'd let you know. Um, cool. And then I

247
00:22:48.480 --> 00:22:52.720
got in my car and he was like, All right, well, never say

248
00:22:52.720 --> 00:22:58.360
never, whatever. And then we left. And then that whole day I

249
00:22:58.360 --> 00:23:02.880
was like, so mad because I was so curious about that thought of

250
00:23:02.880 --> 00:23:07.960
like, why would I feel like he's gonna be my husband when one

251
00:23:07.960 --> 00:23:12.080
like, I'm have this house being built, we're going on vacation,

252
00:23:12.080 --> 00:23:15.160
like I don't need a man to come in and just like destroy my

253
00:23:15.160 --> 00:23:20.520
lifestyle. And so naturally, I was like, Hey, do you want to go

254
00:23:20.520 --> 00:23:25.120
to Target to buy stuff for my kids camp? And he did. He like

255
00:23:25.120 --> 00:23:29.000
showed up at Target that night. Like I hadn't seen him in 15

256
00:23:29.000 --> 00:23:32.560
years. It was very odd. And then we were talking and we were

257
00:23:32.560 --> 00:23:36.080
talking a lot about apologetics. And so I was talking about the

258
00:23:36.080 --> 00:23:39.280
ministry thing I was a part of. And then I was like, I guess if

259
00:23:39.280 --> 00:23:43.040
you want to, like, I gotta, you know, go back and pack. At the

260
00:23:43.040 --> 00:23:46.880
time, my kid was six, and he was headed off to like, little

261
00:23:46.880 --> 00:23:50.400
boys camp or whatever. I was like, I gotta go pack his bag,

262
00:23:50.400 --> 00:23:53.680
but you can come over and chit chat with me if you want. And

263
00:23:53.680 --> 00:23:56.880
so he's like, Okay, so then we just like kept talking. And

264
00:23:56.880 --> 00:24:02.400
then, and then he eventually left. And then, yeah, and then

265
00:24:02.440 --> 00:24:05.840
every day, we just kept talking. And you know, the world was shut

266
00:24:05.840 --> 00:24:08.760
down. So you can really go anywhere. So we'd come over and

267
00:24:08.760 --> 00:24:14.040
play, you know, and Settlers of Catania. And we just played

268
00:24:14.040 --> 00:24:20.160
games. And we just kind of like hung out. And then yeah, and so

269
00:24:20.160 --> 00:24:24.440
we just did that for a little while, but not super long. He

270
00:24:24.440 --> 00:24:27.640
did eventually leave. He eventually left. Oh, you're

271
00:24:27.640 --> 00:24:33.400
making fun of me. Yeah, he did eventually leave. But anyway, a

272
00:24:33.440 --> 00:24:39.160
few months in, like he's hanging out. And then my little boy, he

273
00:24:39.160 --> 00:24:43.280
says, Hey, you should marry Tyler. And I was like,

274
00:24:43.920 --> 00:24:47.440
flabbergasted. I was like, what? Like, what? Why would you even

275
00:24:47.440 --> 00:24:51.280
say that? And like, I had lots of friends that were boys like

276
00:24:51.280 --> 00:24:54.440
Settlers Catania with every Friday night and like, they were

277
00:24:54.440 --> 00:24:58.680
all boys. It was all you know, like six men that come over and

278
00:24:58.680 --> 00:25:00.000
we play they always want to

279
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:02.160
hang out, but I didn't really want to go out with them.

280
00:25:02.160 --> 00:25:03.880
So I invited them all at the same time,

281
00:25:03.880 --> 00:25:05.880
every single Friday to play Sailor's Catan,

282
00:25:05.880 --> 00:25:06.800
and they all showed up.

283
00:25:06.800 --> 00:25:09.120
That's so weird.

284
00:25:09.120 --> 00:25:14.480
Yeah, it was really weird for like a year, by the way.

285
00:25:14.480 --> 00:25:18.040
Anyway, so like, you know, he never

286
00:25:18.040 --> 00:25:19.520
said this about anybody else.

287
00:25:19.520 --> 00:25:21.880
And so I was like, where is this coming from?

288
00:25:21.880 --> 00:25:24.280
And I was like, Boris, why would you even say that?

289
00:25:24.280 --> 00:25:27.600
And he goes, well, I think he'd be a really good dad.

290
00:25:27.600 --> 00:25:29.720
And he looks just like me.

291
00:25:29.720 --> 00:25:33.920
And so then I'm like, oh my gosh, he knows he needs a dad.

292
00:25:33.920 --> 00:25:35.720
And he did look just like him.

293
00:25:35.720 --> 00:25:38.440
And so I was like, oh man.

294
00:25:38.440 --> 00:25:43.240
So I'm stressing out, naturally, because I'm just

295
00:25:43.240 --> 00:25:46.600
a very anxious person, as you can probably tell.

296
00:25:46.600 --> 00:25:49.080
And so I'm like, oh my god, oh my gosh,

297
00:25:49.080 --> 00:25:52.120
like am I screwing my kids up for playing Uno

298
00:25:52.120 --> 00:25:55.120
with this stranger in my house?

299
00:25:55.120 --> 00:25:58.760
And so then like the next time Skylar comes over,

300
00:25:58.760 --> 00:26:00.120
he brought dessert.

301
00:26:00.120 --> 00:26:02.120
And he brought dessert for my kids,

302
00:26:02.120 --> 00:26:06.440
because he knew early on that if you bring dessert to someone,

303
00:26:06.440 --> 00:26:09.440
your kids will eat it, because they're terrible.

304
00:26:09.440 --> 00:26:12.080
So he brought cupcakes for them.

305
00:26:12.080 --> 00:26:14.520
And then he brought tiramisu for me.

306
00:26:14.520 --> 00:26:19.480
And my son grabs it and then runs back to his room

307
00:26:19.480 --> 00:26:20.560
where his friend is playing.

308
00:26:20.560 --> 00:26:24.200
And he's like, hey, my dad brought us cupcakes.

309
00:26:24.200 --> 00:26:25.840
And I almost threw up, you know?

310
00:26:25.840 --> 00:26:27.720
I'm like, oh my gosh.

311
00:26:27.720 --> 00:26:29.360
And Skylar's like, are you OK?

312
00:26:29.360 --> 00:26:32.560
And I'm like, yeah, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine.

313
00:26:32.560 --> 00:26:35.160
I think I said it like nine times,

314
00:26:35.160 --> 00:26:39.360
to reassure him that I was fine.

315
00:26:39.360 --> 00:26:41.880
And then so very shortly after that, I was like,

316
00:26:41.880 --> 00:26:43.280
we have to get married.

317
00:26:43.280 --> 00:26:45.800
And he was like, oh, really?

318
00:26:45.800 --> 00:26:47.320
Should we?

319
00:26:47.320 --> 00:26:49.200
Meanwhile, Skylar's never dated anyone,

320
00:26:49.200 --> 00:26:51.560
because he actually was all the things

321
00:26:51.560 --> 00:26:54.640
I wanted, like who had never touched a woman, never kissed,

322
00:26:54.640 --> 00:26:59.920
never just like, I waited 35 years for a wife.

323
00:26:59.920 --> 00:27:02.880
That's like he has never seen yet, you know?

324
00:27:02.880 --> 00:27:06.080
And so I'm like, yeah, we have to get married.

325
00:27:06.080 --> 00:27:11.120
And he's like, well, I had heard that you should date,

326
00:27:11.120 --> 00:27:15.040
and I was reading this book, you should date for like a year.

327
00:27:15.040 --> 00:27:17.160
We weren't even dating at that point.

328
00:27:17.160 --> 00:27:18.920
We're just playing Uno, right?

329
00:27:18.920 --> 00:27:22.160
And I was like, oh, well, if you want to date for a year,

330
00:27:22.200 --> 00:27:25.480
you should go after a 24-year-old with no baggage.

331
00:27:25.480 --> 00:27:26.280
She did say that.

332
00:27:26.280 --> 00:27:27.280
I did say that.

333
00:27:27.280 --> 00:27:30.000
Yeah, I'm very too blunt.

334
00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:33.000
And so I was like, yeah, my kids think you're a dad.

335
00:27:33.000 --> 00:27:35.280
Like, I don't know what to do.

336
00:27:35.280 --> 00:27:37.640
But like, we have to get married.

337
00:27:37.640 --> 00:27:44.240
And so I wasn't nervous, because he had never sinned.

338
00:27:44.240 --> 00:27:46.640
So that was really, just kidding.

339
00:27:46.640 --> 00:27:49.080
For all of you guys, I know that everyone has sinned.

340
00:27:49.080 --> 00:27:51.400
So that was, I'm being, I'm just joking.

341
00:27:51.440 --> 00:27:54.800
But he like never looked at porn ever,

342
00:27:54.800 --> 00:27:58.040
has like never kissed a woman, like never got drunk,

343
00:27:58.040 --> 00:28:03.040
like has very, very innocent man, right?

344
00:28:03.040 --> 00:28:05.680
And so I'm just teasing that he's not a sinner.

345
00:28:05.680 --> 00:28:09.560
But anyway, so but I knew that his character was so good

346
00:28:09.560 --> 00:28:12.960
that I was like, I can totally trust your character.

347
00:28:12.960 --> 00:28:17.480
So yeah, we could just get married.

348
00:28:17.480 --> 00:28:20.520
But anyway, probably rushed it pretty fast,

349
00:28:20.520 --> 00:28:24.480
because I was afraid I was screwing up my kids.

350
00:28:24.480 --> 00:28:28.440
And so then he was like, oh, can I think about it?

351
00:28:28.440 --> 00:28:29.560
And I'm like, I guess.

352
00:28:29.560 --> 00:28:32.440
But you got like, I don't know, three weeks.

353
00:28:32.440 --> 00:28:34.320
And then that's it, you know?

354
00:28:34.320 --> 00:28:40.320
So then, but I was still pretty angry.

355
00:28:40.320 --> 00:28:44.160
So I was kind of, I, yeah, it was pretty nuts.

356
00:28:44.160 --> 00:28:47.000
So anyway, then we got married.

357
00:28:47.000 --> 00:28:49.480
OK, so let's hear it.

358
00:28:49.480 --> 00:28:53.400
So Skylar, in this moment, in this moment,

359
00:28:53.400 --> 00:28:54.800
you've got three weeks.

360
00:28:54.800 --> 00:28:57.320
And you know that where she's at,

361
00:28:57.320 --> 00:28:59.040
you know y'all haven't necessarily

362
00:28:59.040 --> 00:29:03.320
dated yet officially.

363
00:29:03.320 --> 00:29:06.680
Tell us like what's going on in your mind at that moment.

364
00:29:06.680 --> 00:29:08.800
I'd love to just kind of hear your thoughts.

365
00:29:08.800 --> 00:29:11.320
Well, since I was a super virgin and has never

366
00:29:11.320 --> 00:29:14.680
dated any girl my entire life, let alone kissed one,

367
00:29:14.680 --> 00:29:17.400
it was a pretty big decision.

368
00:29:17.400 --> 00:29:19.640
The thing about me, though, is I've basically been praying

369
00:29:19.640 --> 00:29:21.960
for a wife since I was like 15.

370
00:29:21.960 --> 00:29:25.400
And my laundry list of what she has to have or not have

371
00:29:25.400 --> 00:29:28.360
was as long as or if longer than hers.

372
00:29:28.360 --> 00:29:31.400
And so I kind of went down that list in my head.

373
00:29:31.400 --> 00:29:35.200
Like, what are the pros and cons to her and us?

374
00:29:35.200 --> 00:29:37.000
And do I enjoy hanging out with her

375
00:29:37.000 --> 00:29:38.680
and all that kind of stuff?

376
00:29:38.680 --> 00:29:42.760
And so nervous, for sure.

377
00:29:42.760 --> 00:29:45.760
Thought about it, I mean, what, for like maybe a day or two

378
00:29:45.760 --> 00:29:46.320
probably?

379
00:29:46.360 --> 00:29:49.360
And then I was like, OK.

380
00:29:49.360 --> 00:29:53.880
I was like, I've been praying for you for 15 to 17 years.

381
00:29:53.880 --> 00:29:56.880
If this is not a God thing, then I don't know what is.

382
00:29:56.880 --> 00:29:59.160
So yeah, that's kind of what was going through my head,

383
00:29:59.160 --> 00:30:01.600
I guess, at that specific time.

384
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:09.120
moment so good so cool so okay how long have you all been married now um three years and

385
00:30:09.120 --> 00:30:20.960
three months we got married on january 1st my favorite holiday um 2022 okay and you all have

386
00:30:20.960 --> 00:30:28.560
i know you had two children before you got married and now tell us how many children

387
00:30:28.560 --> 00:30:35.600
you all have we have four we have four so um so right after we got married i didn't want to

388
00:30:35.600 --> 00:30:42.480
change my last name until my kids changed their last name and so we filed abandonment immediately

389
00:30:42.480 --> 00:30:49.200
and then we were able to um kind of go through the legal process for him to adopt my two older kids

390
00:30:49.920 --> 00:30:57.520
and so i changed my last name when we changed their last names um and then i had always wanted

391
00:30:57.520 --> 00:31:04.320
four children it had always been just a desire since i was just a little tiny chicken um but

392
00:31:04.320 --> 00:31:10.000
of course you know my family was destroyed and my biggest fear because i saw this a lot with

393
00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:15.840
friends who um divorced and remarried is like the other kids were like the other kids you know

394
00:31:16.640 --> 00:31:21.840
and there was a separation and that really really really really bothered me and so i had kind of

395
00:31:21.840 --> 00:31:28.000
accepted that i would never have any more kids because i never wanted my kids to feel like the

396
00:31:28.000 --> 00:31:34.720
other kids um but i mean skylar was like i mean sky i don't know i don't know how i mean i don't

397
00:31:34.720 --> 00:31:40.080
know if it's just because he's just such a patient like godly man and has been for so long but he just

398
00:31:40.080 --> 00:31:45.920
like loved my kids so much and they loved him so much i mean even my daughter she still i think it

399
00:31:45.920 --> 00:31:52.320
was like last week she asked she was like so dad can you remind me were you there when i was a baby

400
00:31:52.320 --> 00:32:00.880
or was it the other dad like she just doesn't remember um and forest my son who is now 10 um

401
00:32:00.880 --> 00:32:04.480
you know he's the one that wanted me to marry him he just thinks he's the greatest thing in the whole

402
00:32:04.480 --> 00:32:10.160
world and so um it was pretty easy to like well let's go have those four kids like i'm almost 40

403
00:32:10.160 --> 00:32:17.600
let's get this going so now we have two babies um we have this one when he's um six months old

404
00:32:18.240 --> 00:32:25.440
and then we have um fiona and she's the year and a half year old that was that was nursing still

405
00:32:25.440 --> 00:32:31.360
because she wants to be a baby um and then yeah and then felicity is almost seven and then uh

406
00:32:32.160 --> 00:32:39.440
and then forest is 10. okay awesome so when we come back to samantha and skylar

407
00:32:39.440 --> 00:32:43.760
skylar i would love to you for you if you're willing just to share from your perspective

408
00:32:43.760 --> 00:32:51.280
coming into that um you know how did that feel for you coming into a blended family and because

409
00:32:51.280 --> 00:32:56.480
we get this question a lot i've been on in the same shoes that you've actually been in where i've

410
00:32:56.480 --> 00:33:02.160
gone in and loved other people's kids and i love them like they're mine but we have a lot of people

411
00:33:02.160 --> 00:33:07.520
in our community where they really have a hard time comprehending that there are good men out

412
00:33:07.520 --> 00:33:12.800
there that will actually love their kids and i know jeremy will be able to speak to this in a

413
00:33:12.800 --> 00:33:17.440
little bit too but when i circle back i do want to pull that out of the conversation tonight i feel

414
00:33:17.440 --> 00:33:22.000
like that's coming up organically through things that you all are sharing and i think people need

415
00:33:22.000 --> 00:33:26.800
to have their hearts encouraged regarding that whether they have kids already or not whether

416
00:33:26.800 --> 00:33:32.640
they're older and their kids are grown and maybe they have grandkids whatever the scenario is

417
00:33:33.280 --> 00:33:38.720
um that i think people's hearts and spirits can be encouraged through that testimony tonight thank

418
00:33:38.720 --> 00:33:43.920
you all so much for what you've already shared david and jenny would love for you all to share

419
00:33:43.920 --> 00:33:49.280
not sure which one of you wants to to kick it off um but want to hear a little bit of your all story

420
00:33:50.160 --> 00:34:00.640
you want me to go first or yeah go ahead okay um so excuse me i was widowed maybe seven and a half

421
00:34:00.640 --> 00:34:08.639
years ago and um i guess widowing i thought i had done a lot of heart work um over those next four

422
00:34:08.639 --> 00:34:14.719
or five years my kids were all pretty much grown but there was still some some late teenaged kids

423
00:34:15.360 --> 00:34:22.239
at home and and quite a lot of a lot of trauma around my wife's passing so so i didn't date for

424
00:34:22.239 --> 00:34:28.480
maybe four to five years but um we did a lot of a lot of family counseling and a lot of good

425
00:34:28.480 --> 00:34:33.120
good heart work there but it was only once i started dating that i i worked out that there

426
00:34:33.120 --> 00:34:41.120
was a lot more to do um uh i dated i was dating someone from online and and that didn't work out

427
00:34:41.199 --> 00:34:49.600
and i think that was probably a catalyst to to start to go deeper into um dating as a as a widower

428
00:34:50.639 --> 00:34:54.560
but also it was probably the first time i started to think about the type of person

429
00:34:54.560 --> 00:34:59.920
that i was looking for and um what were what were kind of green flag

430
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.120
greens and what were red flags.

431
00:35:02.120 --> 00:35:05.440
And so I think that was probably a turning point.

432
00:35:05.440 --> 00:35:08.120
And about that same time,

433
00:35:08.120 --> 00:35:10.720
I had a word from the Lord about being bold.

434
00:35:10.720 --> 00:35:15.160
And so I jumped back into the online dating,

435
00:35:16.360 --> 00:35:19.160
assuming that that could take a long period of time.

436
00:35:19.160 --> 00:35:22.120
In fact, when I jumped back into the online Christian dating,

437
00:35:22.120 --> 00:35:24.320
there was people who'd been there like a year before.

438
00:35:24.320 --> 00:35:26.160
And so I guess I was thinking,

439
00:35:26.160 --> 00:35:29.160
this could be a long process.

440
00:35:30.400 --> 00:35:33.560
But then a week later, I get a message from Jenny.

441
00:35:34.960 --> 00:35:36.400
And that was kind of freaky

442
00:35:36.400 --> 00:35:39.320
because it was really quick and quicker than I'd assumed.

443
00:35:39.320 --> 00:35:43.800
But also, I guess, continuing to lead into that boldness

444
00:35:43.800 --> 00:35:46.800
that God had said, look, hey, just continue to be bold.

445
00:35:48.920 --> 00:35:52.440
And so, yeah, so that would have been 18 months ago,

446
00:35:52.440 --> 00:35:54.840
I guess, Jen, that we start September.

447
00:35:56.720 --> 00:35:59.720
And I think we'd had our first dates

448
00:36:00.280 --> 00:36:03.960
after maybe a few weeks of texting and chatting.

449
00:36:03.960 --> 00:36:07.040
And the funny bit was that I had to tell her

450
00:36:07.040 --> 00:36:11.280
that I'm doing month-on-month-off work in the USA.

451
00:36:11.280 --> 00:36:13.120
So nice to meet you,

452
00:36:13.120 --> 00:36:15.320
but I'm about to hop on a plane for a month,

453
00:36:16.920 --> 00:36:17.760
which is what I did,

454
00:36:17.760 --> 00:36:21.360
and which is what we did for probably the first nine

455
00:36:21.360 --> 00:36:24.880
or 10 months of our dating was me traveling.

456
00:36:26.840 --> 00:36:28.800
One of the things I think Jenny will probably touch on

457
00:36:28.800 --> 00:36:31.080
is one of the things I say is that I got the benefits

458
00:36:31.080 --> 00:36:33.000
of all of the heart work

459
00:36:33.000 --> 00:36:36.960
and also all of the work that she did through the coaching

460
00:36:36.960 --> 00:36:38.960
because there was things that she would sort of drop

461
00:36:38.960 --> 00:36:41.680
in our conversations that were really helpful to me

462
00:36:42.920 --> 00:36:45.480
that you could see had been working through from her side.

463
00:36:45.480 --> 00:36:49.240
So that made it a lot easier being, I guess,

464
00:36:49.240 --> 00:36:54.240
on the guy end of the community.

465
00:36:54.680 --> 00:36:59.680
So, and we've been married six weeks.

466
00:37:00.720 --> 00:37:04.200
So early days, we're still together.

467
00:37:04.200 --> 00:37:06.280
We're not in the same room.

468
00:37:06.280 --> 00:37:09.960
That's because Jenny's trying to pack up a house in Sydney

469
00:37:09.960 --> 00:37:12.360
and I'm about an hour away at our new house.

470
00:37:12.360 --> 00:37:15.040
So all of that sort of stuff coming together.

471
00:37:18.080 --> 00:37:19.520
Cool.

472
00:37:19.520 --> 00:37:22.920
Yeah, so about the time, can you all hear me?

473
00:37:22.920 --> 00:37:24.320
Is that all good, the sound?

474
00:37:26.600 --> 00:37:27.440
Yeah?

475
00:37:27.440 --> 00:37:29.120
Yep, we can hear you great.

476
00:37:29.120 --> 00:37:30.120
Great, awesome.

477
00:37:30.120 --> 00:37:33.880
I hope our accents aren't too hard to understand.

478
00:37:35.480 --> 00:37:37.920
So about the time David was widowed,

479
00:37:37.920 --> 00:37:41.680
I had been married for 26 years.

480
00:37:41.680 --> 00:37:43.760
We were like a Christian family.

481
00:37:43.760 --> 00:37:45.600
We'd raised our kids in the church

482
00:37:45.600 --> 00:37:47.920
and it just fell apart overnight.

483
00:37:47.920 --> 00:37:50.760
My first husband just left the family

484
00:37:51.760 --> 00:37:56.760
and it was a real valley, a real season.

485
00:37:57.560 --> 00:38:01.960
But even in that season, as we walked that out,

486
00:38:01.960 --> 00:38:05.920
I just, in my spirit, knew

487
00:38:05.920 --> 00:38:07.480
that it wasn't the end of the story.

488
00:38:07.480 --> 00:38:12.480
I knew that God would not leave it that way in that trauma.

489
00:38:13.040 --> 00:38:14.720
And I didn't know what that would look like.

490
00:38:14.720 --> 00:38:16.960
And obviously there's a journey in grieving

491
00:38:16.960 --> 00:38:18.360
that you have to walk out.

492
00:38:19.320 --> 00:38:23.000
And so in that valley, I actually threw myself,

493
00:38:23.000 --> 00:38:24.760
before I even knew of Jackie in the program,

494
00:38:24.760 --> 00:38:26.480
into hard work that I could find.

495
00:38:26.480 --> 00:38:30.000
I did prayer ministry and divorce recovery groups.

496
00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:31.720
And it was amazing.

497
00:38:31.720 --> 00:38:33.760
I benefited a lot.

498
00:38:33.760 --> 00:38:37.560
And through it, I knew it wasn't the end of the story.

499
00:38:37.560 --> 00:38:40.240
There was more for me, that God wouldn't,

500
00:38:42.120 --> 00:38:46.120
as we all here in this, we're built for relationship

501
00:38:46.120 --> 00:38:48.280
and I knew that God would restore that.

502
00:38:48.840 --> 00:38:50.040
And bring it to completion.

503
00:38:50.040 --> 00:38:51.600
So I just continued.

504
00:38:51.600 --> 00:38:52.480
And in that search,

505
00:38:52.480 --> 00:38:55.160
I came across the Last Year Single movement.

506
00:38:56.160 --> 00:38:58.640
And I did jumped into the heart work then.

507
00:38:58.640 --> 00:39:01.880
And so I'd done a lot, the Last Year Single,

508
00:39:01.880 --> 00:39:06.800
the heart work just really, just went deeper,

509
00:39:06.800 --> 00:39:08.680
just tied together all the things

510
00:39:08.680 --> 00:39:10.240
I'd already been working on.

511
00:39:10.240 --> 00:39:13.480
It completely set me free and gave me hope

512
00:39:13.480 --> 00:39:16.480
and encouragement just to pursue marriage.

513
00:39:16.480 --> 00:39:19.520
And so I did,

514
00:39:21.240 --> 00:39:23.440
with the title of the group, Last Year Single,

515
00:39:23.440 --> 00:39:27.440
I started dating, thinking that it was my last year single.

516
00:39:27.440 --> 00:39:31.280
I actually had three last year singles,

517
00:39:31.280 --> 00:39:33.520
which was a really frustrating process,

518
00:39:33.520 --> 00:39:37.480
but in it, I just knew to persevere.

519
00:39:37.480 --> 00:39:40.080
And that like, and all the things we learn,

520
00:39:40.080 --> 00:39:41.320
it doesn't have to be easy.

521
00:39:41.320 --> 00:39:42.520
It has to be worth it.

522
00:39:42.560 --> 00:39:44.240
And I had an actual,

523
00:39:44.240 --> 00:39:46.520
I had a one-on-one with Jackie back in the day.

524
00:39:46.520 --> 00:39:48.280
And what, like the other couple,

525
00:39:48.280 --> 00:39:49.360
she encouraged me,

526
00:39:50.200 --> 00:39:53.960
because my children and now grandchildren,

527
00:39:53.960 --> 00:39:55.440
I was looking local.

528
00:39:55.440 --> 00:39:59.200
She encouraged me to expand my boundaries.

529
00:39:59.200 --> 00:40:00.040
And I sort of,

530
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.960
wasn't quite willing to do that overseas.

531
00:40:01.960 --> 00:40:04.760
So within that, I did expand.

532
00:40:04.760 --> 00:40:07.040
I, and David, who lives, you know,

533
00:40:07.040 --> 00:40:10.700
we now live an hour and a half away from where I was.

534
00:40:11.840 --> 00:40:15.640
And yeah, David was, you know, following that, I just,

535
00:40:15.640 --> 00:40:18.000
yeah, he was one of the people I spoke to that

536
00:40:18.000 --> 00:40:22.240
after Jackie encouraged me to look further afield.

537
00:40:22.240 --> 00:40:27.240
And yeah, I, the heart work was really, I felt ready.

538
00:40:27.800 --> 00:40:30.040
I felt I had a lot to give.

539
00:40:30.040 --> 00:40:32.640
David and I both feel that in all our heart work

540
00:40:32.640 --> 00:40:35.560
and the valleys and things we've been through,

541
00:40:35.560 --> 00:40:37.680
we bring the best of ourselves to each other.

542
00:40:37.680 --> 00:40:39.160
We've grown so much.

543
00:40:39.160 --> 00:40:43.020
And a lot of those rough edges are smoothed over.

544
00:40:43.020 --> 00:40:46.880
And, you know, we were able to bring

545
00:40:46.880 --> 00:40:49.240
the more refined version of ourselves

546
00:40:49.240 --> 00:40:50.640
to our new relationship.

547
00:40:50.640 --> 00:40:53.400
And, you know, in the crazy kingdom of God,

548
00:40:53.400 --> 00:40:54.680
you'd never write the story,

549
00:40:54.680 --> 00:40:57.720
but plan B is so much better than plan A.

550
00:40:57.720 --> 00:40:59.880
And we're both so grateful for that.

551
00:41:00.880 --> 00:41:02.440
I love what you all are sharing.

552
00:41:02.440 --> 00:41:05.200
So Jenny and David, how long,

553
00:41:05.200 --> 00:41:09.240
like how long when y'all met to getting married?

554
00:41:09.240 --> 00:41:10.600
Someone asked about that.

555
00:41:10.600 --> 00:41:13.400
So how long were you all dating before you got married?

556
00:41:15.200 --> 00:41:16.400
We probably knew each other.

557
00:41:16.400 --> 00:41:20.040
It's probably pretty close on a year actually.

558
00:41:20.040 --> 00:41:23.720
And the community, this community,

559
00:41:23.720 --> 00:41:25.600
and a lot of the advice about the timing

560
00:41:25.600 --> 00:41:29.280
was really helpful for me in thinking things in,

561
00:41:29.280 --> 00:41:31.200
like, I just didn't have a framework,

562
00:41:31.200 --> 00:41:32.600
but it gave me the framework.

563
00:41:32.600 --> 00:41:33.960
And our timing was really good.

564
00:41:33.960 --> 00:41:38.040
Like we, you know, we moved through the level two, three,

565
00:41:38.040 --> 00:41:42.000
and it progressed really well.

566
00:41:42.000 --> 00:41:45.600
We naturally, I had a birthday, David met my children.

567
00:41:45.600 --> 00:41:47.840
He invited me to a wedding of his children.

568
00:41:47.840 --> 00:41:49.760
It all fell together really smoothly.

569
00:41:49.760 --> 00:41:51.560
And then one day we were out,

570
00:41:51.560 --> 00:41:54.000
we just started to talk about the future together,

571
00:41:54.000 --> 00:41:55.920
and that would mean marriage.

572
00:41:55.920 --> 00:41:57.240
And we like set a date.

573
00:41:57.240 --> 00:42:00.400
So it was probably, it was really a bit over a year

574
00:42:00.400 --> 00:42:03.080
between when we first met and we were married.

575
00:42:03.080 --> 00:42:04.040
Yeah.

576
00:42:04.040 --> 00:42:05.000
So good.

577
00:42:05.000 --> 00:42:05.960
One other question for you.

578
00:42:05.960 --> 00:42:10.200
So you referenced, you had three last year singles.

579
00:42:10.200 --> 00:42:12.120
I know when you and I chatted briefly today,

580
00:42:12.120 --> 00:42:13.800
one of the things that you mentioned

581
00:42:13.800 --> 00:42:17.480
that you really had to overcome a lot with the Lord

582
00:42:17.480 --> 00:42:21.360
was the discouragement and the frustrations that you faced.

583
00:42:22.120 --> 00:42:24.920
Would you mind to share with our community a little bit

584
00:42:24.920 --> 00:42:27.240
like how God helped you work through that?

585
00:42:27.240 --> 00:42:30.320
Because even David, in a sense, he shared,

586
00:42:30.320 --> 00:42:31.520
and I want to pull this out.

587
00:42:31.520 --> 00:42:35.280
He said, once he started dating people,

588
00:42:35.280 --> 00:42:37.680
that's when it revealed like more heart work,

589
00:42:37.680 --> 00:42:40.200
revealed things that he needed healing in.

590
00:42:40.200 --> 00:42:43.480
And so many times, I think so many people in our community,

591
00:42:44.600 --> 00:42:46.880
when a dating relationship doesn't work out,

592
00:42:46.880 --> 00:42:48.160
they get so frustrated

593
00:42:48.160 --> 00:42:51.040
that the enemy is trying to get them to give up.

594
00:42:51.720 --> 00:42:54.320
And so if we keep showing up,

595
00:42:54.320 --> 00:42:56.640
if we keep letting God use that,

596
00:42:56.640 --> 00:43:00.200
he can change everything on the inside of us

597
00:43:00.200 --> 00:43:02.080
and do so much in the process.

598
00:43:02.080 --> 00:43:06.080
And so Jenny, since you mentioned the last three years

599
00:43:07.720 --> 00:43:10.120
of having that, can you tell us a little bit

600
00:43:10.120 --> 00:43:11.760
of how God helped you navigate

601
00:43:11.760 --> 00:43:14.080
and come out of discouragement

602
00:43:14.080 --> 00:43:19.080
and into an actual place of preparation to receive David?

603
00:43:19.160 --> 00:43:20.200
Yeah.

604
00:43:20.200 --> 00:43:22.080
Yeah, so it was frustrating.

605
00:43:22.080 --> 00:43:25.680
Like I would, and I dated actively in that time,

606
00:43:25.680 --> 00:43:26.920
and you'd meet someone and you think,

607
00:43:26.920 --> 00:43:28.560
oh, like really good men,

608
00:43:28.560 --> 00:43:32.080
but just nothing that sort of stuck and continued.

609
00:43:32.080 --> 00:43:35.000
And I think, you know, I being too fussy, what is it?

610
00:43:35.000 --> 00:43:39.360
And it would be, you know, that kind of,

611
00:43:39.360 --> 00:43:41.920
that part of that spirit rising up,

612
00:43:41.920 --> 00:43:43.560
say, this is not the end.

613
00:43:43.560 --> 00:43:45.200
This is not the end.

614
00:43:45.200 --> 00:43:46.680
And if it's not the end,

615
00:43:46.680 --> 00:43:47.960
if you're going to be married again,

616
00:43:47.960 --> 00:43:49.840
you need to keep dating again.

617
00:43:49.840 --> 00:43:53.480
And that means just, you know, learning and growing.

618
00:43:53.480 --> 00:43:55.640
So I threw myself into that process

619
00:43:55.640 --> 00:43:57.680
of just being okay with what happened.

620
00:43:57.680 --> 00:44:02.680
It was in my, I sort of missed the dating season

621
00:44:02.880 --> 00:44:04.040
as a young person.

622
00:44:04.040 --> 00:44:06.280
And it's like, God took me full circle

623
00:44:06.280 --> 00:44:08.320
and brought me through it and grew me up again.

624
00:44:08.320 --> 00:44:09.720
It's like, I had to learn the things

625
00:44:09.720 --> 00:44:11.560
I didn't learn back then.

626
00:44:11.560 --> 00:44:14.760
And every, you know, I'd learn and I'd grow

627
00:44:14.760 --> 00:44:17.280
and feel more prepared.

628
00:44:17.280 --> 00:44:19.840
And I just learned not to be as precious about it,

629
00:44:19.840 --> 00:44:22.440
that just to try and enjoy.

630
00:44:22.440 --> 00:44:26.440
And so when I met David, it wasn't nice.

631
00:44:26.440 --> 00:44:28.440
We had coffee and we chatted for a couple of hours

632
00:44:28.440 --> 00:44:29.920
and he was going overseas

633
00:44:29.920 --> 00:44:32.040
and we messaged while he was away.

634
00:44:32.040 --> 00:44:36.000
And by that, because I learned to hold it lightly

635
00:44:36.000 --> 00:44:38.120
and go, look, this is nice.

636
00:44:38.120 --> 00:44:39.240
We'll see where it goes.

637
00:44:39.240 --> 00:44:44.120
And he came back really intentional to, like I think,

638
00:44:44.120 --> 00:44:46.880
yeah, he arranged for us to catch up that first day

639
00:44:47.480 --> 00:44:49.920
that he was back in Sydney.

640
00:44:49.920 --> 00:44:52.160
It got rained, he got snowed in the US

641
00:44:52.160 --> 00:44:54.840
and we had to reschedule, but he was really intentional.

642
00:44:54.840 --> 00:44:58.480
And we fell into sort of seeing each other,

643
00:44:58.480 --> 00:44:59.920
getting together each week.

644
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.800
So yeah, I leaned into the community, although the time difference meant I couldn't do this

645
00:45:04.800 --> 00:45:09.360
stuff live, I watched it all on replay. And it's kind of amazing to, you know,

646
00:45:09.360 --> 00:45:14.160
I'd sit on the other end going, Oh, will that ever be me kind of these stories are just so amazing.

647
00:45:14.160 --> 00:45:21.040
And, and I'd watch them on replay when I could in my time and lean into every nugget of wisdom and

648
00:45:21.920 --> 00:45:26.880
add it to my toolkit and, and just, just keep going. And so that was, yeah, that was,

649
00:45:26.880 --> 00:45:32.640
and just continue to believe if God would do it for them, as I sat on the other end of these calls

650
00:45:32.640 --> 00:45:37.920
that he would also do it for me. Yeah. Oh, I felt the Holy Spirit on that. Thank you for

651
00:45:37.920 --> 00:45:42.240
saying that. And I hope that encourages all those that are hearing this live tonight,

652
00:45:42.240 --> 00:45:47.040
as well as those that watch the replay, that we would, you know, the people that are here

653
00:45:47.040 --> 00:45:53.440
sharing their love stories, God is working in all of your lives as well. And there's so many

654
00:45:53.440 --> 00:46:00.000
things that sometimes we don't see that God is working on or moving out of the way so that we

655
00:46:00.000 --> 00:46:04.800
can receive that person that he's preparing for us. One of the other things I want to draw out,

656
00:46:04.800 --> 00:46:10.320
and then I'm going to go back to Jeremy and Carla and want to kind of touch on the blended family

657
00:46:10.320 --> 00:46:16.160
and like, what is it like to love each other's children when you receive, you know, and everyone

658
00:46:16.160 --> 00:46:20.080
can speak to that here, but I will go to them next. But one of the things I want to draw out here,

659
00:46:20.640 --> 00:46:26.640
even when Jenny was just sharing, is David was very intentional in his pursuit there in that

660
00:46:27.280 --> 00:46:34.800
coming back and reconnecting. Skylar was very, very consistently persistent in an intentional,

661
00:46:34.800 --> 00:46:43.600
not in a creepy way, but a kind pursuit, a very gentlemanly pursuit of, you know, Samantha and

662
00:46:43.600 --> 00:46:48.960
getting to know her and showing up. I know a little bit about Jeremy and Carla's story.

663
00:46:48.960 --> 00:46:54.800
I was in their wedding. Yay! So fun. But some of the things that happened there,

664
00:46:55.920 --> 00:47:03.040
Carla mentioned she kind of had the cut and run feeling, but stayed. Excuse me. So,

665
00:47:03.920 --> 00:47:09.360
Jeremy, Carla, let's kind of segue with that first. So, Jeremy, how did God have you showing

666
00:47:09.360 --> 00:47:22.000
up intentionally? And Carla, how did God help you not cut and run? So, I think the very first

667
00:47:22.000 --> 00:47:30.080
time I, so my busy season is typically at the end of the year and it's from October to December. And

668
00:47:30.080 --> 00:47:36.800
so the first time that we ended up having an opportunity to meet, I had to kind of reorganize

669
00:47:36.800 --> 00:47:43.840
my schedule because she had something that she had to go do. I believe her and Bo had gone to,

670
00:47:43.840 --> 00:47:51.520
like, a concert like that they'd already paid for. And so, excuse me. And so,

671
00:47:54.320 --> 00:48:00.400
whenever I reorganized my schedule, I set it up where I would be able to come and see her. And

672
00:48:00.400 --> 00:48:04.960
then after that, I think I came back like a week later because it was the end of my season so I

673
00:48:04.960 --> 00:48:18.800
could see her again. Also, on the very first date that we had, I'm big on, like, permission.

674
00:48:19.360 --> 00:48:28.640
And so, I asked her if I could hold her hand, if that was okay. I also, I asked her at the end of

675
00:48:28.640 --> 00:48:32.400
the night whether I should have or not. I don't know. I didn't go to the artwork like everybody

676
00:48:32.400 --> 00:48:40.400
else. But I, you know, I asked her, you know, if I could kiss her goodnight and she said no. I was

677
00:48:40.400 --> 00:48:48.000
like, okay. And she asked me if, you know, if I wanted an explanation. I said I don't really need

678
00:48:48.000 --> 00:48:55.360
one. But she gave me one anyway, which, you know, I appreciated. But I think whenever it comes to

679
00:48:55.360 --> 00:49:01.760
intentionality, it has to do with not only the pursuit but also the respect aspect of things.

680
00:49:03.280 --> 00:49:09.440
And so, you know, for me personally, you know, I just, I had, you know,

681
00:49:10.960 --> 00:49:15.040
I had a feeling inside the first time I saw her walk into the restaurant,

682
00:49:16.800 --> 00:49:23.040
you know. And so, it was a very powerful, overwhelming feeling. And so, I was obviously

683
00:49:23.040 --> 00:49:29.280
glued. And so, you know, I asked her if she wanted to go out again and so we did. So, I think,

684
00:49:30.080 --> 00:49:35.760
you know, at the end of the day, as long as it's not something creepy, you know, it's a lot of

685
00:49:35.760 --> 00:49:40.480
having to do with respect. And to your point, kind of going back to what you said intentionality like

686
00:49:40.480 --> 00:49:48.320
is, you know, is the guy intentional. And that was, you know, really I wanted her to see that

687
00:49:48.320 --> 00:49:53.440
even though it was like 8 o'clock at night. But it's because, you know, my work, I mean,

688
00:49:53.440 --> 00:49:59.680
I'm working until like 9 o'clock at night during, you know, the Medicare season. So, you know, I had

689
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.320
I actually got off early to be there between eight and nine that early to get off for me and so

690
00:50:05.920 --> 00:50:11.120
yeah I got in trouble for it the next day but you know it is what it is and I told him whatever

691
00:50:12.320 --> 00:50:16.240
you know a year later we ended up getting married so you know whatever but

692
00:50:16.240 --> 00:50:21.760
um but yeah I mean that's that's more or less kind of I guess from my perspective what that was like.

693
00:50:24.480 --> 00:50:29.120
So Carlos, how did God help you not cut and run in this process?

694
00:50:30.000 --> 00:50:37.600
You might have to lean a little closer. I think maybe when y'all switch who's talking

695
00:50:37.600 --> 00:50:47.520
is what's happening. Yeah so yeah um obviously I was in the program and um was still always

696
00:50:47.520 --> 00:50:53.360
showing up and so the three weeks we were getting to know each other before he flew out um I was

697
00:50:53.360 --> 00:50:58.080
I was very intentional and consistent about showing up in community. Like all my sisters

698
00:50:58.240 --> 00:51:04.240
and there's a few of them even here right now they knew like I showed up I let everybody know

699
00:51:04.240 --> 00:51:10.560
the tea like I always gave everybody the tea of what was going on and so um you know people were

700
00:51:10.560 --> 00:51:17.040
just talking me off the ledge especially Jackie she's like just have fun like you don't need to

701
00:51:17.040 --> 00:51:28.080
know all the things like just go and enjoy it and so um that helped I mean again he I think

702
00:51:28.080 --> 00:51:33.840
the big thing was like he mentioned how it was a busy part of the season and the weekend that

703
00:51:33.840 --> 00:51:40.480
he was going to come down to visit he's like can I see you I'm like well of course I'll make

704
00:51:40.480 --> 00:51:45.440
arrangements I have my son that weekend we're actually driving to Orlando which was two hours

705
00:51:45.440 --> 00:51:50.800
away from where I was at in Sarasota and I said you know we're going to go see for king and country

706
00:51:50.800 --> 00:51:56.560
like I'm going on you know a date with him and and somebody even the and people in this community

707
00:51:56.560 --> 00:52:02.400
were actually going with them as well so I was like I'm not not canceling those plans but I'll

708
00:52:02.400 --> 00:52:11.360
manage some time for you and he came back and and changed his his plans so that he went there the

709
00:52:11.360 --> 00:52:16.480
weekend prior and then the weekend after where he originally said and so I thought wow that's

710
00:52:16.480 --> 00:52:22.320
that's pretty bold you know and he even asked me when we were you know on the phone and talking

711
00:52:22.320 --> 00:52:30.000
before and he made a comment like well am I gonna get to see you more than once you know when I meet

712
00:52:30.000 --> 00:52:39.920
you and I was like uh maybe like I don't know I don't know how like we like each other after the

713
00:52:39.920 --> 00:52:45.520
first date like I realized like it depends on how our first date goes like I don't know if I'm going

714
00:52:45.520 --> 00:52:51.680
to see you again because again in my head I'm thinking you know this is I don't work out and uh

715
00:52:51.680 --> 00:52:58.480
and then even when he he made plans come that time and then it made our plans and you know wanted me

716
00:52:58.480 --> 00:53:05.840
to come he says eight I swear it was like closer to nine o'clock and I'm like again I was you know

717
00:53:05.840 --> 00:53:12.160
I was in my late 30s I was a single mom my kid was going to his his dad's house and ladies I was

718
00:53:12.160 --> 00:53:20.080
like the old woman like I was pajamas and in bed nine o'clock you know like I was tired I was a

719
00:53:20.080 --> 00:53:26.960
single mom you know and so when he like playing the date I was just like just so tired I don't

720
00:53:26.960 --> 00:53:32.160
even know if I want to do this and I just had a lot of people were speaking like Carla just give

721
00:53:32.160 --> 00:53:39.040
a shot and one friend at my work was even like we'll just do dinner or don't do dinner like just

722
00:53:39.600 --> 00:53:45.600
you know have dessert or something like that and so I did I was like okay you know again I was

723
00:53:46.320 --> 00:53:52.080
I was committed in this community having been in this community for two years I saw the process I

724
00:53:52.080 --> 00:53:56.560
saw it happened for other people and like Jenny said like you kind of get to a point where like

725
00:53:56.560 --> 00:54:02.720
is it going to happen for me and so I just again I held on to the faith that I'm like I'm going to

726
00:54:02.720 --> 00:54:10.880
just keep moving forward and I'm just going to give it to God and so and that's what I did and I was

727
00:54:10.880 --> 00:54:16.400
like okay I don't really want to go do this but I'm going to do it anyway because I really need

728
00:54:16.400 --> 00:54:26.320
to do it and I was very pleasantly surprised on our first date I was I even it was different

729
00:54:27.200 --> 00:54:32.640
like even like Samantha how she shared like she was walking out and God kind of spoke to her

730
00:54:32.640 --> 00:54:39.280
I remember being at the table talking to him and we had a lot of things in common and he just

731
00:54:39.280 --> 00:54:43.840
and I can keep a conversation with a lot of people but he just really helped carry the conversation

732
00:54:43.840 --> 00:54:48.720
but I remember being even I mean I felt like I was so leaned in over the table when I was

733
00:54:48.720 --> 00:54:53.440
talking to him that I was like it felt like this magnet I was being drawn to him and I was like

734
00:54:53.440 --> 00:54:57.280
this is weird like this guy probably thinks I'm like crawling over the table and I'm like

735
00:54:57.280 --> 00:54:59.840
I don't want to give him the wrong impression so I would have to like

736
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:06.720
like, okay, just step back and, and we just had a really fun first date. And like, again,

737
00:55:06.720 --> 00:55:17.120
he was very, very gentlemanly and just so respectful, like his heart to be concerned

738
00:55:17.120 --> 00:55:25.320
with how I felt and what was comfortable for me really did mean a lot. And so, and we had,

739
00:55:25.320 --> 00:55:29.840
you know, we had a lot of fun and he asked permission to hold my hand. We ended up crashing

740
00:55:29.840 --> 00:55:38.040
some, um, we, we were like walking around and we had to like go to the restroom. And

741
00:55:38.040 --> 00:55:45.560
so we stopped somewhere that was a theater, like an actual like live play theater. And

742
00:55:45.560 --> 00:55:53.280
we walk in and the entire lobby was filled with like, you know, elderly people. Cause

743
00:55:53.280 --> 00:55:58.120
I mean, I, I've lived in Sarasota Bradenton area. It's, it's, it's an older community

744
00:55:58.120 --> 00:56:00.960
and it was just really weird. Cause I felt like we walked in and everybody was just staring

745
00:56:00.960 --> 00:56:05.960
at us and I was like, we got to go to the bathroom. And so we both go to the bathroom

746
00:56:05.960 --> 00:56:09.200
and we were not even in there for like two or three minutes. We come out and the whole

747
00:56:09.200 --> 00:56:15.560
lobby was cleared out and we just had the best time and we laughed about it. And yeah,

748
00:56:15.560 --> 00:56:21.080
he, he obviously was bold enough to ask if he could kiss me. And I was like, yeah, no.

749
00:56:21.080 --> 00:56:25.360
One of the things, cause something that came up in the chat and I want to make sure that

750
00:56:25.360 --> 00:56:34.080
all of our peeps, the magnet experience can happen sometimes you all, but it is not always

751
00:56:34.080 --> 00:56:39.360
going to be that way. So I want to make sure everyone, all of you, but it's not always

752
00:56:39.360 --> 00:56:40.360
going to be that way.

753
00:56:40.360 --> 00:56:46.400
And even I was still very guarded still. Like I was still like, I don't know. And again,

754
00:56:46.400 --> 00:56:52.400
like it wasn't always, it wasn't even such a physical attraction. And he knows this.

755
00:56:52.400 --> 00:56:56.680
And those of you that have been on my, you know, those of you that don't know, I also

756
00:56:56.680 --> 00:57:01.440
coach in phase two. And so there's a lot of women that probably heard this story. I initially

757
00:57:01.440 --> 00:57:06.560
was not physically attracted to him. Like I thought he was a decent looking guy, you

758
00:57:06.560 --> 00:57:07.560
know?

759
00:57:07.560 --> 00:57:16.880
Hey, he's amazing. I felt the same way. I wasn't sure, but the more time we spend together

760
00:57:16.880 --> 00:57:21.360
and the reason I brought up the magnet aspect, the more she got to know my humor, she just

761
00:57:21.360 --> 00:57:22.360
started swooning.

762
00:57:22.360 --> 00:57:32.360
The dad jokes and the confession of the love for Marvel and Legos on the first date y'all.

763
00:57:32.360 --> 00:57:33.360
He had me with that.

764
00:57:33.360 --> 00:57:35.160
I should have used cupcakes. That was good.

765
00:57:35.160 --> 00:57:40.320
Yeah. The cupcakes are great. But the reason I said that about the magnet wasn't so much

766
00:57:40.320 --> 00:57:44.880
that it was wrong that you said that or felt that, but I just want people, cause some people

767
00:57:44.880 --> 00:57:55.000
get caught up in looking for that. And for me, peace was what led me. I felt so much

768
00:57:55.000 --> 00:58:04.320
immense peace and, and just true, um, contentment and happiness every time I was around Brian.

769
00:58:04.320 --> 00:58:08.360
And I genuinely had never experienced that before.

770
00:58:08.360 --> 00:58:09.360
Yeah.

771
00:58:09.360 --> 00:58:15.680
I want people to understand it's not going to always feel, you know, the same. And so

772
00:58:15.680 --> 00:58:20.760
be encouraged that there's different ways that you're going to experience your spirit

773
00:58:20.760 --> 00:58:26.520
mate and who God is highlighting to you. And I think just even coming from that perspective,

774
00:58:26.520 --> 00:58:30.280
that we're praying that God would highlight, you know, for those of you that are still

775
00:58:30.280 --> 00:58:34.720
looking for your spirit mate, that God would highlight your spirit mate to you and you

776
00:58:34.720 --> 00:58:40.880
to your spirit mate, and you would have that sense of divine peace and that that would

777
00:58:40.880 --> 00:58:45.640
guide you in your decision. And I ultimately think that is what was drawing the two of

778
00:58:45.640 --> 00:58:52.360
you all together, um, in that kind of magnet feel if you will. Um, and so, but I did want

779
00:58:52.360 --> 00:58:57.880
to, cause some people will hear that kind of verbiage and misinterpret it. I think it

780
00:58:57.880 --> 00:59:03.160
could lead some people astray when they might be like, have met somebody really great and

781
00:59:03.160 --> 00:59:08.480
they don't feel all these sparks that society portrays that we're supposed to feel and then

782
00:59:08.480 --> 00:59:14.440
miss somebody, you know, that is amazing. And so thank you for sharing those aspects.

783
00:59:14.440 --> 00:59:20.280
I do want Jeremy to briefly share, and then I'm going to go to Skylar on, you know, which

784
00:59:20.280 --> 00:59:25.520
Carla, I know you've also chose to love his kids too, but I really want, I feel led to

785
00:59:25.520 --> 00:59:31.440
have the men speak to this for a few minutes. And David can even share from his aspect of

786
00:59:31.480 --> 00:59:36.480
coming in with adult children too. But if all of the men, let's go to Jeremy first and

787
00:59:36.480 --> 00:59:42.240
then Skylar and then David, just share from your perspective, like, what is it like? What

788
00:59:42.240 --> 00:59:48.120
has it been like to come in and love their children?

789
00:59:51.880 --> 00:59:59.000
Can you hear me? Okay. Yep. All right. Um, so I think for me that it actually kind of

790
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.000
where my late wife had two children

791
01:00:04.000 --> 01:00:06.200
and I raised one of them from the age of five

792
01:00:06.200 --> 01:00:07.200
until they were 17.

793
01:00:08.920 --> 01:00:11.120
So I had already done this before,

794
01:00:11.120 --> 01:00:12.520
this was not quarantine.

795
01:00:14.580 --> 01:00:17.160
And so he was around that age,

796
01:00:17.160 --> 01:00:18.640
I think he was like seven years old, Bo,

797
01:00:18.640 --> 01:00:20.320
whenever I first met him.

798
01:00:20.320 --> 01:00:25.320
But to me, whenever I look at a child

799
01:00:25.600 --> 01:00:27.360
and I'm bringing them in like that,

800
01:00:27.400 --> 01:00:32.000
it's almost kind of like the way God sees us

801
01:00:32.000 --> 01:00:34.880
and grafting us into his promises, right?

802
01:00:34.880 --> 01:00:39.200
Like it's more or less, and I don't like,

803
01:00:39.200 --> 01:00:40.960
I know people use the word adopt,

804
01:00:40.960 --> 01:00:45.960
but it's more embracing the fusion of two people, right?

805
01:00:47.240 --> 01:00:51.280
So it's no longer like, I say bonus son, right?

806
01:00:51.280 --> 01:00:53.920
Because I don't, I know it may be weird,

807
01:00:53.920 --> 01:00:56.600
some people might not care if you call it stepson,

808
01:00:56.600 --> 01:00:59.520
stepdad, whatever, but that's not really how I see it.

809
01:00:59.520 --> 01:01:03.480
I see it as a child that I get the privilege

810
01:01:03.480 --> 01:01:05.880
to be able to pour into and to love

811
01:01:05.880 --> 01:01:08.400
and to build connection with, right?

812
01:01:08.400 --> 01:01:13.400
And so, for me, whenever it comes to being able

813
01:01:13.760 --> 01:01:17.600
to experience life with a child

814
01:01:17.600 --> 01:01:20.720
that obviously did not come from me,

815
01:01:20.720 --> 01:01:24.000
that's not really something that gets in the way for me.

816
01:01:24.920 --> 01:01:29.880
Because at the end of the day, I love both of them

817
01:01:29.880 --> 01:01:32.640
and God chose her for me

818
01:01:32.640 --> 01:01:35.760
and he also chose me to be in Bo's life.

819
01:01:35.760 --> 01:01:40.760
And by the way, the way that everything kind of happened

820
01:01:41.080 --> 01:01:46.080
was his biological father ended up moving

821
01:01:46.360 --> 01:01:50.120
up north to Michigan and that happened shortly

822
01:01:50.120 --> 01:01:55.120
after we actually started relationship, right?

823
01:01:55.320 --> 01:01:59.600
And so, simple things like that for confirmation,

824
01:01:59.600 --> 01:02:01.000
but at the end of the day,

825
01:02:03.120 --> 01:02:05.400
that just kind of lit it up for me

826
01:02:05.400 --> 01:02:10.400
in terms of understanding that this is something

827
01:02:10.440 --> 01:02:11.400
that's going to happen.

828
01:02:11.400 --> 01:02:16.040
And it was easy, it was easy to be able to connect with him.

829
01:02:16.040 --> 01:02:17.880
And whenever I would go to Florida,

830
01:02:20.120 --> 01:02:21.760
when I'd be putting him down to bed or whatever,

831
01:02:21.760 --> 01:02:25.120
I would do all these silly voices

832
01:02:25.120 --> 01:02:28.000
whenever I was reading a kid's book to him.

833
01:02:28.000 --> 01:02:30.280
And he just got a kick out of it, you know?

834
01:02:30.280 --> 01:02:35.280
And I just, to me, bonding and connection,

835
01:02:36.800 --> 01:02:40.920
it's not a step thing, it's a new family.

836
01:02:40.920 --> 01:02:45.920
It's not viewed as something that has ever been separate,

837
01:02:46.800 --> 01:02:49.880
but something that I think God had created

838
01:02:50.760 --> 01:02:51.600
in the beginning.

839
01:02:51.600 --> 01:02:52.760
And I know this may sound weird

840
01:02:52.760 --> 01:02:55.480
and she may say something to me afterwards about it,

841
01:02:55.480 --> 01:02:58.920
but just like I tell my kids,

842
01:03:00.960 --> 01:03:04.360
if it wasn't, if she was your birth mother,

843
01:03:04.360 --> 01:03:06.720
you'd be the same person, you just look different.

844
01:03:06.720 --> 01:03:07.960
You know what I'm saying?

845
01:03:07.960 --> 01:03:11.760
Same thing with Beau, he looks the way he does

846
01:03:11.760 --> 01:03:13.000
because he didn't come from me.

847
01:03:13.000 --> 01:03:16.040
It's no different, I see them all as my children.

848
01:03:16.640 --> 01:03:17.480
I love that.

849
01:03:17.480 --> 01:03:19.760
Jeremy, thank you for sharing your heart on that.

850
01:03:19.760 --> 01:03:22.520
So many people are being touched by what you're sharing.

851
01:03:23.920 --> 01:03:26.280
That is how I feel about my spiritual daughters.

852
01:03:26.280 --> 01:03:28.880
That's how I feel about Brian's daughters.

853
01:03:28.880 --> 01:03:30.400
Coming over to Skyler,

854
01:03:30.400 --> 01:03:32.960
we'd love to hear your thoughts on this as well,

855
01:03:32.960 --> 01:03:35.800
just from your perspective of coming in

856
01:03:35.800 --> 01:03:40.080
to Samantha's family, as well as extending your family,

857
01:03:40.080 --> 01:03:42.560
but just how has God really spoke to you

858
01:03:42.560 --> 01:03:44.040
about this whole thing?

859
01:03:44.040 --> 01:03:45.760
How has God really spoke to you

860
01:03:45.760 --> 01:03:49.560
about this in your relationship?

861
01:03:49.560 --> 01:03:51.920
Sure, can you guys hear me okay?

862
01:03:51.920 --> 01:03:53.240
Okay, really quick,

863
01:03:53.240 --> 01:03:56.080
wanna clear something up really fast before I go on,

864
01:03:56.080 --> 01:04:00.960
is the whole, I contacted her via Facebook, which is true,

865
01:04:00.960 --> 01:04:03.120
and she blew me off, also true,

866
01:04:03.120 --> 01:04:04.400
but she blew me off in the way of,

867
01:04:04.400 --> 01:04:07.040
I'll be back after I've got to this camp.

868
01:04:07.040 --> 01:04:08.400
When I get back, we can have coffee.

869
01:04:08.400 --> 01:04:10.600
So I only asked her one other time afterwards,

870
01:04:10.600 --> 01:04:13.960
prompted by her, so it wasn't a stocky thing, okay?

871
01:04:14.720 --> 01:04:16.000
And then last thing,

872
01:04:16.000 --> 01:04:17.720
if any of you guys have something similar to her,

873
01:04:17.720 --> 01:04:20.960
she had the tallest walls with a moat and an alligator

874
01:04:20.960 --> 01:04:23.400
on them, so it was not an easy path,

875
01:04:23.400 --> 01:04:24.360
but it was totally worth it.

876
01:04:24.360 --> 01:04:29.360
Okay, so to go on with how I feel about the blended family,

877
01:04:29.840 --> 01:04:33.800
is, so I had never dated anyone, never kissed anyone.

878
01:04:33.800 --> 01:04:35.320
I've been an uncle, right?

879
01:04:35.320 --> 01:04:36.360
I had nieces and nephews,

880
01:04:36.360 --> 01:04:38.920
so I knew how to interact with children in general

881
01:04:38.920 --> 01:04:39.760
and that kind of thing.

882
01:04:39.760 --> 01:04:42.240
So that was really easy for me,

883
01:04:42.440 --> 01:04:44.480
especially because they were around the same ages

884
01:04:44.480 --> 01:04:46.360
as my niece and nephew.

885
01:04:46.360 --> 01:04:49.520
So I think I have,

886
01:04:49.520 --> 01:04:51.720
I think it was really, really easy for me

887
01:04:51.720 --> 01:04:56.720
to see them as mine, if that makes sense.

888
01:04:56.840 --> 01:04:59.160
And the reason I say that is because

889
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:02.680
I was really, really easy to connect with Forrest

890
01:05:02.680 --> 01:05:05.400
because he wanted to connect with me so badly.

891
01:05:05.400 --> 01:05:07.880
So that was really easy for me to get that connection.

892
01:05:07.880 --> 01:05:10.000
So I'm a boy, I know what boys like,

893
01:05:10.000 --> 01:05:12.140
you know, playing video games and connect with them,

894
01:05:12.140 --> 01:05:14.600
roughhousing with them, shooting with, you know,

895
01:05:14.600 --> 01:05:16.400
Nerf guns, et cetera.

896
01:05:16.400 --> 01:05:18.760
It was a lot harder to connect with Felicity,

897
01:05:18.760 --> 01:05:21.440
which is the other daughter who at the time was three

898
01:05:21.440 --> 01:05:23.120
because she's such a mommy's girl, right?

899
01:05:23.120 --> 01:05:25.600
So I tried to do stuff with her, but she wanted mom.

900
01:05:25.600 --> 01:05:26.440
She'd want mom.

901
01:05:27.040 --> 01:05:32.040
I saw it as when I went into it and I married Sam,

902
01:05:32.200 --> 01:05:34.000
and even before I married Sam, because I knew,

903
01:05:34.000 --> 01:05:35.080
like, I don't know how to explain this,

904
01:05:35.080 --> 01:05:36.600
but she'd probably say the same thing,

905
01:05:36.600 --> 01:05:40.240
but I think she's way out of my league by a lot.

906
01:05:40.240 --> 01:05:42.200
And so I'm usually super nervous around girls

907
01:05:42.200 --> 01:05:43.640
that are way out of my league.

908
01:05:43.640 --> 01:05:46.120
And so, but I felt complete calmness around her.

909
01:05:46.120 --> 01:05:49.600
I was never, ever worried or nervous about anything.

910
01:05:49.600 --> 01:05:51.260
And that's how I felt about the kids too,

911
01:05:51.260 --> 01:05:53.240
is I knew I was gonna marry her

912
01:05:53.240 --> 01:05:56.240
and I knew that these were my kids.

913
01:05:57.040 --> 01:05:59.600
And so I always went into the,

914
01:05:59.600 --> 01:06:02.320
in that mindset is these are my kids,

915
01:06:02.320 --> 01:06:06.280
regardless if I'm, you know, their bio dad.

916
01:06:06.280 --> 01:06:07.920
And they even seem that way.

917
01:06:07.920 --> 01:06:09.960
She even told a story about Felicity, right?

918
01:06:09.960 --> 01:06:12.160
Like, hey dad, were you there when?

919
01:06:12.160 --> 01:06:15.120
And she never, ever, you know,

920
01:06:15.120 --> 01:06:17.280
I probably took her maybe a little bit longer

921
01:06:17.280 --> 01:06:22.280
to call me dad, but I kind of always saw myself as dad

922
01:06:22.840 --> 01:06:24.800
because I was stepping into that role

923
01:06:24.800 --> 01:06:28.600
and I never wanted them to feel different

924
01:06:28.600 --> 01:06:32.600
or that I was there for mom and they were just an add-on

925
01:06:32.600 --> 01:06:34.600
because that's not how I felt, you know?

926
01:06:34.600 --> 01:06:35.960
I went on into it as like,

927
01:06:35.960 --> 01:06:37.100
that's why I brought them cupcakes.

928
01:06:37.100 --> 01:06:38.400
That's why I brought, you know,

929
01:06:38.400 --> 01:06:40.480
I always brought something for everyone,

930
01:06:40.480 --> 01:06:42.880
the kids and mom, not just mom.

931
01:06:42.880 --> 01:06:45.600
Here's a present for mom and you guys are just a second.

932
01:06:45.600 --> 01:06:50.080
So for me, I, it was,

933
01:06:50.080 --> 01:06:51.240
if I'm gonna be completely honest with you,

934
01:06:51.240 --> 01:06:54.840
it was odd to be a dad because I had never dated anyone.

935
01:06:54.840 --> 01:06:58.000
Imagine never dating anyone, being this like innocent boy

936
01:06:58.000 --> 01:06:59.400
and all of a sudden you're a dad.

937
01:06:59.400 --> 01:07:00.480
That was weird.

938
01:07:00.480 --> 01:07:02.880
And in getting that feeling of,

939
01:07:02.880 --> 01:07:06.420
I'm now a dad, like to feel normal,

940
01:07:06.420 --> 01:07:09.380
it took, you know, quite like six months, right?

941
01:07:09.380 --> 01:07:10.560
But after that, I mean,

942
01:07:10.560 --> 01:07:13.980
I've never once thought that I'm not their dad,

943
01:07:13.980 --> 01:07:15.040
if that makes sense.

944
01:07:16.200 --> 01:07:17.600
And I don't know if that's a God thing

945
01:07:17.600 --> 01:07:20.120
or if that's just a personality thing for me or what it is,

946
01:07:20.120 --> 01:07:23.200
but anytime I'm talking about them,

947
01:07:23.200 --> 01:07:25.580
I have like in my mind and in my heart,

948
01:07:25.580 --> 01:07:29.440
it's never been a separation of these are Sam's kids

949
01:07:29.440 --> 01:07:33.960
and now these, sorry, and these new two are my kids.

950
01:07:33.960 --> 01:07:35.660
I've never, ever thought that way.

951
01:07:36.700 --> 01:07:38.120
It's just been our kids.

952
01:07:38.120 --> 01:07:41.080
And when other people say like, what about your step kids?

953
01:07:41.080 --> 01:07:43.120
I'm like, you mean my son and daughter?

954
01:07:43.120 --> 01:07:43.960
You're talking about those two?

955
01:07:43.960 --> 01:07:45.200
You know, so we always like try to correct it

956
01:07:45.200 --> 01:07:46.480
because I don't see them as,

957
01:07:46.480 --> 01:07:47.880
the word step doesn't make sense to me

958
01:07:47.880 --> 01:07:50.200
because not only have I adopted them,

959
01:07:50.200 --> 01:07:52.840
which took nine months, but it was 100% worth it,

960
01:07:52.840 --> 01:07:55.160
so they're like legally mine,

961
01:07:55.160 --> 01:07:57.760
but I am that role, right?

962
01:07:57.760 --> 01:08:00.360
I am the father and I am their dad.

963
01:08:00.360 --> 01:08:02.660
And what's the point of using the word step?

964
01:08:02.660 --> 01:08:04.760
Because that I am the father, right?

965
01:08:04.760 --> 01:08:06.120
And that's kind of the mindset

966
01:08:06.120 --> 01:08:08.440
and the way I went into it.

967
01:08:08.440 --> 01:08:12.120
And like I said, for me, it was weird being a dad,

968
01:08:12.120 --> 01:08:15.000
but I never saw myself not as their dad,

969
01:08:15.000 --> 01:08:16.279
if that makes sense.

970
01:08:16.279 --> 01:08:18.120
It totally makes sense.

971
01:08:18.120 --> 01:08:20.840
And I love the, like even the different layers

972
01:08:20.840 --> 01:08:22.359
of what you just brought, you know,

973
01:08:22.359 --> 01:08:24.660
in addition to what Jeremy had already shared.

974
01:08:25.960 --> 01:08:29.040
One of the things you said is you just viewed them as,

975
01:08:29.040 --> 01:08:31.920
these are my kids and you saw yourself as a dad.

976
01:08:31.920 --> 01:08:34.479
We talk even in this community all the time

977
01:08:34.479 --> 01:08:37.359
that our belief that we're a bride or a groom

978
01:08:37.359 --> 01:08:41.560
long before we become one is a huge like aspect

979
01:08:41.560 --> 01:08:43.760
of walking into that victory.

980
01:08:43.760 --> 01:08:46.880
And so for those of you that have kids

981
01:08:46.880 --> 01:08:48.640
that are looking for a spirit mate

982
01:08:48.640 --> 01:08:49.819
that will love your kids,

983
01:08:49.819 --> 01:08:52.300
I really wanna encourage you to be praying

984
01:08:52.300 --> 01:08:54.080
for your spirit mate now.

985
01:08:54.080 --> 01:08:57.520
Like that they will just really believe

986
01:08:57.520 --> 01:09:01.279
and own it in their heart, not in an overstepping way.

987
01:09:01.279 --> 01:09:03.160
Cause you know, every dynamic's different.

988
01:09:03.160 --> 01:09:06.240
You came in, thankfully, you know, the kids were younger.

989
01:09:06.240 --> 01:09:09.399
It can be a little trickier blending families

990
01:09:09.399 --> 01:09:10.380
as the kids are older.

991
01:09:10.380 --> 01:09:12.720
There's different dynamics that have gone on,

992
01:09:12.720 --> 01:09:15.680
you know, in Jeremy and Carla's case, there was a loss.

993
01:09:15.680 --> 01:09:18.479
You know, Jeremy was a widow when they met.

994
01:09:18.479 --> 01:09:21.160
I don't know, I'm gonna come to David and Jenny here.

995
01:09:21.160 --> 01:09:23.600
Would love to hear, you know, you have,

996
01:09:23.600 --> 01:09:25.720
I wrote it down, hopefully I get it right.

997
01:09:25.720 --> 01:09:28.760
Eight adult children between the two of you all.

998
01:09:28.760 --> 01:09:30.960
Three grandchildren and they're about to have

999
01:09:30.960 --> 01:09:34.080
three more grandchildren in this next year.

1000
01:09:34.080 --> 01:09:35.600
So exciting.

1001
01:09:35.600 --> 01:09:38.640
But can you tell us from your perspective,

1002
01:09:38.640 --> 01:09:41.399
you know, what has that been like for you

1003
01:09:41.399 --> 01:09:43.319
as you all are blending families

1004
01:09:43.319 --> 01:09:48.319
and you're coming in as, you know, that role in influence.

1005
01:09:48.319 --> 01:09:51.140
And again, adult children, it can be different,

1006
01:09:51.140 --> 01:09:53.380
but I do think just from my perspective,

1007
01:09:53.380 --> 01:09:55.280
we have adult children.

1008
01:09:55.280 --> 01:09:57.660
Loving them in the posture of our hearts

1009
01:09:57.660 --> 01:09:59.960
is still a huge thing.

1010
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.320
actor in all of it. But David, can you share for us from your perspective on this?

1011
01:10:05.120 --> 01:10:11.600
Yeah, I think for us, it was important when we were dating, we were very intentional about

1012
01:10:11.600 --> 01:10:18.800
wanting our kids to, to your point, Bethany, about peace. And so we were looking for a peaceful

1013
01:10:18.800 --> 01:10:26.640
relationship with them. I think too, our youngest are in their early 20s. And so there's not a lot

1014
01:10:26.640 --> 01:10:32.240
of like that being at home stuff. And there's probably only been a few occasions where we've

1015
01:10:32.240 --> 01:10:36.800
been able to get all of them together with the grandkids. But it means you have to be more

1016
01:10:36.800 --> 01:10:42.800
intentional with those smaller, smaller interactions. I guess the bit that I saw straight

1017
01:10:42.800 --> 01:10:50.880
up was you could feel the to Jenny's point that that lack of a dad in their life, even though

1018
01:10:50.880 --> 01:10:57.280
they're adult kids. And so for my role, it's been not to so much be a dad to little kids or to be

1019
01:10:58.640 --> 01:11:05.760
a friend, it's more to kind of be, how do you be that adult mentor without without it being a

1020
01:11:05.760 --> 01:11:12.720
heavy handed thing. So it's been really quite deliberate, but but but casual. And and so you

1021
01:11:12.720 --> 01:11:17.840
want to be able to kind of speak into their lives and hopefully have some, some intentionality around

1022
01:11:17.840 --> 01:11:24.560
that. But but there's no place for being for being a big dad figure. And I think I think Jenny, I

1023
01:11:24.560 --> 01:11:28.640
think that's worked well. And I think it's it's built rapport on both sides for our for our kids

1024
01:11:28.640 --> 01:11:34.800
that that it is a gentleness to that when they're that bit older. And I think there's just a play

1025
01:11:34.800 --> 01:11:43.760
out over that over time to come. I think sorry. I was just gonna say David's been very generous

1026
01:11:43.760 --> 01:11:50.240
with my children in his as the posture of his heart is true. Like, I know that he loves them

1027
01:11:50.240 --> 01:11:55.680
and wants the best for them and, and seeks wisdom on how to relate to them. He's coming to join me

1028
01:11:55.680 --> 01:12:02.160
in Sydney for my son's dinner tonight. So he prioritises those things. And David has a saying

1029
01:12:02.160 --> 01:12:07.280
little often in relationships. So he just takes opportunities to build. And I've seen them over

1030
01:12:07.280 --> 01:12:15.040
the time, they, David's a crazy, like builder, and they ask his advice on those things. And just

1031
01:12:15.040 --> 01:12:20.160
finding points of connection. He says generous with his time. And like my son moved into his

1032
01:12:20.160 --> 01:12:24.800
own place and needed a fridge. And David said, let's buy him a fridge. So generous with his

1033
01:12:24.800 --> 01:12:30.880
resource and time to just generous posture of heart with my children, which is, you know,

1034
01:12:30.880 --> 01:12:36.800
meant so much to all of us. And I think one of the things we also brought to the table was a

1035
01:12:36.800 --> 01:12:44.640
very, again, intentionality about co grandparenting, we saw that there's really a privilege that that

1036
01:12:44.640 --> 01:12:49.440
at this stage of life, there's going to be grandkids who are very much similar of age and

1037
01:12:49.440 --> 01:12:54.560
probably an hour apart. So again, how do how do we keep building that community with them?

1038
01:12:56.160 --> 01:12:59.520
And in it in and around them, so we can kind of picture times when we would be taking

1039
01:13:00.160 --> 01:13:08.160
our co grandparented grandchildren way together and, and, and building relationship through that.

1040
01:13:09.760 --> 01:13:15.040
Yeah, we have a dream, we have a dream of having cousins camp when, when they're old enough to

1041
01:13:15.040 --> 01:13:19.600
leave their parents that, that they would have that experience of being cousins with each other.

1042
01:13:19.600 --> 01:13:24.480
And I know there's a local grant Christian grandparents conference, and we came to attend

1043
01:13:24.480 --> 01:13:31.440
that. So just something that we really do want to do well together is to co grandparents as

1044
01:13:31.440 --> 01:13:37.440
Christian grandparents. Yeah. And I love that you just added that Jenny, because I think some of our

1045
01:13:37.440 --> 01:13:41.840
older couples, I want I want you all to be thinking about those kind of things as well. Like,

1046
01:13:42.960 --> 01:13:47.120
so maybe your kids are grown, but how can you invest in that next generation

1047
01:13:47.120 --> 01:13:52.400
and really do it with kingdom excellence. And I just think you all are incredible.

1048
01:13:53.360 --> 01:13:58.320
This night has gone so fast, you all I feel like I've blinked and it is 915.

1049
01:13:59.280 --> 01:14:04.720
So I have to start to close us up. But for every one of the couples that has been here tonight,

1050
01:14:04.720 --> 01:14:09.360
thank you for everything that you've shared from your stories. We're so blessed and honored

1051
01:14:09.360 --> 01:14:14.320
to beginning to know you more to see what God has been doing in your lives and your marriages to

1052
01:14:14.320 --> 01:14:19.200
hear how God brought you together. And I know it's been a blessing to the people in our community.

1053
01:14:19.200 --> 01:14:24.560
I've seen a lot of the people sharing in the chat. But for those of you joining us as well,

1054
01:14:25.120 --> 01:14:30.400
you know, want to encourage you to continue to have hope. And the days you feel discouraged,

1055
01:14:30.400 --> 01:14:36.080
don't don't let the enemy isolate you turn into community. One of the things that, you know,

1056
01:14:36.080 --> 01:14:41.520
Carla and I talk a lot about and you heard her say it even tonight, showing up and posting in

1057
01:14:41.520 --> 01:14:47.200
the community, talking about your dates, talking about the people that you're meeting is a really

1058
01:14:47.200 --> 01:14:52.480
key aspect. I came into the community all the time I had, and he was PB&J, Pastor Brian and

1059
01:14:52.480 --> 01:14:59.440
Jesus. That's what I named him, PB&J. And all the girls in my group knew who PB&J was. And that's

1060
01:14:59.440 --> 01:14:59.920
what they call

1061
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:06.560
him in the beginning. And, you know, it just made it really an incredible experience. And I hear

1062
01:15:06.560 --> 01:15:11.440
some people say, well, the group is so big now, I don't know anyone. Well, everybody can know

1063
01:15:11.440 --> 01:15:17.680
somebody. So if you don't know anybody, you can reach out to one person and get to know them.

1064
01:15:17.680 --> 01:15:24.000
And so let's not kind of isolate. Let's come into community and post. Let's see,

1065
01:15:24.000 --> 01:15:27.360
like, what are y'all going through? If you're in that discouragement phase,

1066
01:15:27.360 --> 01:15:31.280
maybe don't come in and just say, I'm so discouraged over and over and over. But let's

1067
01:15:31.280 --> 01:15:37.040
say you're discouraged. But how can you shift out of that in this next season? We love you.

1068
01:15:37.040 --> 01:15:41.440
We're praying for you. We believe in your love stories. One of the last things I'm going to

1069
01:15:41.440 --> 01:15:52.320
close on is when Samantha was sharing earlier, she said that Jackie said to her, be expectant

1070
01:15:52.400 --> 01:16:00.560
of the good. Be expectant of the good. And Carla shared, you know, that Jackie said to her,

1071
01:16:00.560 --> 01:16:06.960
I have faith for you. Borrow my faith until you can have faith. And so that's where I wanted to

1072
01:16:06.960 --> 01:16:12.880
end tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, be expectant of the good that God wants to bring you. We have

1073
01:16:12.880 --> 01:16:18.320
to prepare our hearts to believe with faith before it comes. So be expectant. God has

1074
01:16:18.320 --> 01:16:25.280
amazing things in store in 2025 for all of you. Some of you are going to step into amazing jobs

1075
01:16:25.280 --> 01:16:29.280
that you've been praying for. And that needs to happen before your spirit mate can come.

1076
01:16:29.280 --> 01:16:34.480
So whatever it is, like, let's not look at what's not happening. Let's look at what is happening

1077
01:16:34.480 --> 01:16:41.120
and let God build your faith because he has an amazing plan for you. We're here as proof. All

1078
01:16:41.120 --> 01:16:47.200
four of us as couples are here saying God has done this for us. He can do it for you too. Keep

1079
01:16:47.200 --> 01:16:53.440
taking one step every single day towards God's best for you. And he will see you through. We

1080
01:16:53.440 --> 01:16:57.840
love you all. God bless you. And we'll be seeing you again soon to all of our couples. Thank you

1081
01:16:57.840 --> 01:17:02.880
again for taking this time to invest in us, in our community. We love you. God bless you. Have

1082
01:17:02.880 --> 01:17:06.320
a good night, everyone. Bye.