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Good evening. Welcome to Monday night phase one live session. Hello, hello, hello. I know

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people are joining us right now. Good to see you all. So glad to be back tonight. Hello.

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I'm going to wait for a minute for some people to join us. I know some people are still logging

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in. Welcome. Is anyone, I'm looking at names. Is anyone new for the first time? You've never

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been to any of our live sessions before. So put that in the chat for me so we can welcome

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you. I'll kind of circle back to that again. Hi, hi, hi. Welcome. We have a bunch of people

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kind of rolling in right now. So I want to plug Supernatural Saturday as always. I think

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it's important to draw some attention to that. Jackie talked a lot about God wanting

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us to live fearlessly. And what does that look like? And how do we get rid of fear and

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partner with faith? And so I want to encourage you all, if you haven't listened to that,

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definitely listen to it. And even if you've heard it before, maybe even listen to it again,

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even while you're driving or something this week, because we need to get these truths

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in our spirit, even myself included. And I want to apologize in advance. You all have

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a cough drop in. I'm going to do my best to not cough on you all tonight. But so that's

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kind of, I'm navigating that a little bit while I'm trying to do the live session with

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you all. But even for myself, when I was listening on Saturday, and I was writing my list of

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the fears that the enemy had been popping up in my spirit, even so subtly, some of them,

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for those of you that don't know, and just so you know, when I put this, I'm good. But

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the same day that I got sick last day, last week ago, Friday is the same day my father

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passed away. And interestingly enough, as soon as that I started getting sick, and that

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happened, there were just these little fears popping in about having to go see my family

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because I don't have a good relationship with them. And especially my brother's wife in

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particular out of all of them. And what am I going to do if I'm still sick, and I don't

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want to get better and then go on this trip and get sick again, and all these little things

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that were creeping their way in. And so I just want you all to know it happens to all

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of us. And so when we recognize those fears, remember even a couple weeks ago, false fear

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is false evidence appearing real. So the enemy is trying to create anxiety and fear and all

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this stuff in areas where some of that stuff will never even happen. Some of that stuff

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will never even take place. But if we're thinking on those things, and aligning with them and

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partnering on, you know, with that and meditating on it, well, guess what it's feeding in my

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spirit, negativity, fear, and then I go into that situation already from a posture of,

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you know, lack of authority, lack of peace, and all these other things, or praise Jesus,

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I can let God use that word to get rid of the fear and also lean into Okay, wait a minute.

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The truth is that God goes before us in every situation. So he's already gone into that

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situation before I get there. So the same applies to you all. So we can walk in situations

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confidently knowing that God will give us everything that we need. In every moment,

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he's already ministering in that situation. And he's prepared for me to come and meet

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him there and receive the provision of that. And so I want to encourage you no matter what

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you're going through in your life right now, God has the provision already there for you,

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even in your heartwork process. You know, when the days come where you feel overwhelmed,

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ladies, because it will come there will be days where you feel overwhelmed with the process

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of healing with the things that God is revealing. But I want to encourage you to not partner

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with overwhelm but partner with Okay, who's the solution provider in the midst of the

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overwhelm, the Lord is, and he will help you shift out of overwhelm and shift into victory

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and overcoming power. You know, the dunamis power comes straight from heaven, you all

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the same power that rose Jesus Christ from the dead is living in us, and it's available

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to us. So it's up to us to tap into that on a daily basis throughout every day. And so

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just want to encourage you, whatever your fears are, God wants to meet you in the midst

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of those as well. Hello, all the ladies that have joined since we started chatting tonight.

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Let me know if you're joining for the first time. Want to welcome you and just let everyone

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know. Oh, hope your first live session. Welcome. I miss that. I'm Bethany Cooper. I'm one of

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the heartwork coaches in this community. Y'all will see a lot of me for now. You'll see me

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throughout the community as well if you all choose to continue into the other phases,

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but God is so good and I'm

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I love being here in HeartWork with all of you and just continuing to do the race that's

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set before us in Phase 1.

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So I want to just touch on a couple things.

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Best practice for the HeartWork journey, if you're new, best practice is one week of content

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per week, ladies, okay?

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We don't want you binging the book, binging the videos, or any of that kind of stuff.

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Here's why.

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Our spirits need time to process.

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We need time for the stuff that we're learning to come in and percolate, if you will, in

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our spirit to allow God to have the space to do the work, to reveal the areas for healing

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that are needed.

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If we're flying, even if you think about driving on a road, if you fly down a road that the

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speed limit is 25, well, guess what, A, that's dangerous, and B, you might miss some things

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along the way.

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Don't we notice things more if we actually go the speed limit?

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So many times, that's so true.

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So I want to give that tangible example.

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Also pressing pause on dating, connecting on apps with men or in person while you're

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in HeartWork.

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Why do we encourage this?

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Because ladies, so many times, people that try to date while they're in HeartWork actually

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get distracted and off course almost every single time.

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Am I saying that's going to happen for everyone?

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No, but a lot of the time, that is what happens.

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So we want you to stay focused.

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You are your best investment.

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So the time you put in now is going to benefit you later on, and you will not miss out on

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your spirit mate if you press pause on dating for this five weeks or six weeks, however

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long it takes you, and invest in your heart healing.

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Most of the time, it actually accelerates people's process later on in different ways.

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Some people really go into a lot of healing that's needed regarding their job and careers

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and all kinds of stuff.

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For those that are asking how do we move on to phase two, well, A, number one, if you've

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actually spent five weeks in here, then you can email the admin team and move forward.

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But please don't email them or ask us to move forward if you've only been here for two weeks,

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ladies.

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I've had a couple people asking that recently, and one of them was only here a week and a

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half.

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Y'all, there's no way.

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I love you.

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You can tell me all day long that you've got everything that you need, and you're good,

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but I lovingly don't believe you, okay?

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So stay here, stay for five weeks.

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Let's see what God wants to do, and we're going to have a lot of fun together.

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If y'all will come into community and connect, if you're done, circle back and do it again.

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If you're done with the heart work really fast, go back and do it again.

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Start in week one, come in and get to know your sisters in the group, connect in community,

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and it's going to be a good time.

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Let me pray for us.

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And we're going to dive right into our content for tonight.

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Father, thank you so much for this night, God.

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We thank you for every one of the ladies that are in heart work right now, God, that are

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here live.

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Those that are going to watch the replay, God, we thank you for the supernatural release

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from heaven that they're going to experience tonight through your power, through your presence,

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through coming together in community, positioning their hearts to receive all that you have

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for them.

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Lord, we thank you that you would bring things out of darkness into the light.

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Lord, bring truth and revelation to areas of bitterness, unforgiveness, resentment,

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any kind of anger or wrath or malice that we have held on to in our hearts, where we

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have believed that we even at times, it's okay for us to hold on to it because of what

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someone else did or said, but Lord, help us to surrender every one of these areas completely

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to you.

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Lord, help us to truly open our eyes and our hearts and our minds, our bodies, our spirits

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and our souls to the truth of heaven tonight.

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Help us to see ourselves through your eyes a little bit more.

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Holy Spirit, we thank you for your presence here.

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We ask you to weave in and out of our conversations through the teaching that you would give every

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woman exactly what they need right where they're at.

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God, you know, every story that's represented by every name in this community, in this group

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and you know what they need in this exact moment in time of their life.

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So Lord, we thank you that you're doing a great work.

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Even as in the book of Nehemiah, God, that they were doing a great work, that they would

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not come down off the wall until the wall of the temple was finished.

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So Lord, even remind ladies tonight that as they stay dedicated to this process, God,

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as they stay committed to the healing work, God, that you would transform them from the

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inside out, that you are doing a great work in them.

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And we just thank you in advance for all that you're doing and all that you are going to

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do in Jesus name.

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Amen.

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Amen.

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Amen.

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Ladies, we're going to talk about forgiveness tonight and God's promise.

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is, I'm so excited to talk about this topic. I want to encourage you no matter if you are

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just know that you know that you know things about forgiveness, don't check out on me, okay?

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Because there are some things even this afternoon, it was really awesome. I actually said to the

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ladies, just keep an open heart and an open mind because I believe God wants to say something

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to you specifically about forgiveness today. And I actually had two women testify.

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One had just come off of a retreat to actually two different women. One was,

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you know, an intensive kind of very deep kind of healing retreat. And another one was a four-day

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retreat. And both of them were kind of like, they admitted they they're kind of like, I don't know

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what else God could, you know, do because they just came out of this thing. And both of them

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got revelation on an area that they really needed to lean into forgiveness. So I want to encourage

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you stay really open and let's just see what God wants to speak to you about. Sue, thank you.

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Love you all and appreciate that. All right, so I want to talk about forgiveness and the importance

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of why we do it. Not only does the Bible declare that we should do it, but why do we do it? Why

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is it important? I like to use this example a lot because I think it makes people laugh a little bit

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or think about good things too. Well, if you had fun in elementary school, did anyone play tetherball?

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Anyone know this game? Okay, some of you know the game. So if you had fun playing this game,

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then this will bring good memories for you. If you didn't have fun playing this game, maybe it won't.

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But I love this example of a tetherball game because I think a lot of people can relate to it.

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But basically there's a pole with a rope and a ball attached to it. And you attach the rope to the pole

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and the kids will stand and they'll hit the ball back and forth. And that's the part I remember.

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I don't remember all the rules, but the reason I like this example is because literally the only

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way for that ball and that rope to get removed from the pole is for someone to remove it because

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it clips on there. And I want you to think about forgiveness in the sense of when we don't forgive,

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we are tethered, connected to the pole. We're connected to the rope. We're connected to the

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trauma. We're connected to the people that are associated with that thing. When we don't step

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into forgiveness, that is what causes, like we literally remain bound to them. How many of you

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all don't want to be bound to people or situations where they've done something to harm you in some

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way? Or maybe even you did something and you haven't forgiven yourself and you just feel

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really bound to that situation. And you're wondering why you keep going around the same

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mountain over and over and over again. And it all tends to go back to whether we realize it or not

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subconsciously, it's going back to areas where we need to forgive, where we need to let go of

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bitterness or the desire for vengeance. And y'all, I've been there. I've prayed those prayers

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genuinely. I have. God, bring vengeance upon them in that situation. And I don't, you know,

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even David prayed things like that. I think in our flesh and in our feelings, sometimes that is

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the genuine way that we feel. But when we allow God to come into our hearts and heal us and we

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choose to forgive, that kind of stuff starts to move on out of our heart. And God makes room

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for the new and the new is forgiveness and reconciliation and peace and redemption. Does

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that mean we're going to enter back into relationship with those people?

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Not necessarily, but we have to be willing to be made willing to forgive.

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When we forgive people, we release them and we also release ourselves. So I want to encourage

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you tonight. I want you to just be asking the Lord as I'm continuing in this content,

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Father, is there anybody that I need to forgive tonight? Is there anyone even, you know, Lord,

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is there anyone even years ago that I don't remember that they did something to me and I've

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forgotten about it, but it's impacting my soul in ways I don't even understand or comprehend.

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Is there anyone Lord that I've been stuck in bitterness or offense or unforgiveness towards?

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As you're thinking about those, I want to give my sunglass example. I haven't done it for a

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little while because I kept forgetting to do it, but I love this example as well.

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I want you to be thinking about brokenness and filters that are created through unforgiveness.

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Okay. I think it's just a funny, silly story. So I like to tell it. So if I have these sunglasses on,

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they're the kind that tend to

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to make the room look a little bit pink, okay?

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So it's got the extra UV stuff in there.

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And this one day I was at the beach with Brian

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and we were sitting there and I was like,

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man, those clouds are so cool.

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They're like orangish pink.

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And he's like, what?

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No, they're not.

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They're white.

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And I was like, no, they're like peach, like over there.

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And I kept trying to tell him where I was looking

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and what I was seeing.

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And it didn't dawn on me that I was seeing that

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because I had my sunglasses on that show me that color.

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I know, I know.

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I'm really smart y'all, but sometimes connecting the dots

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in my mind, that is what it looks like.

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And so what I want you to understand

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and the reason I'm using this as an example

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is because when we have unforgiveness,

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it changes the way we see things.

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It changes the way we show up in the world.

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It changes the way we interact with people.

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This is a lighthearted example,

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but I do want you to understand it literally can taint

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and change the color of everything, if you will.

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So I want you to be thinking about in your life,

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how many times have you shown up around somebody

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and not shown up as your true authentic self

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for one reason or another?

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Maybe it was because you felt insecurity around them.

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Maybe because they are someone that did something

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or said something that hurt you and you never dealt with it.

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Maybe it was someone that, you know,

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you just are really not even sure

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why you feel the way you feel,

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but you feel yourself holding back,

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putting up walls or whatever the case may be.

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Unforgiveness impacts our ability to truly connect ladies.

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Okay, we can show up and we can be in relationship,

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but a lot of times unforgiveness,

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it's like, we'll try to connect with people,

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but like, it ends up going like this.

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There's no, it like really doesn't allow us

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to come in close.

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And the Lord wants us to be able to come in close with Him

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as well as other people.

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As the book, The Heart Work talks about,

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and I'm just gonna read this briefly.

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It's talking about the blind spots and the filters.

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And this is what it says.

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When you walk into any situation,

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it doesn't matter what it is, bad or good.

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You don't see that thing, that place,

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those people the way that they are.

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You see them the way that you are on the inside, okay?

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We don't see things, I'm gonna repeat it,

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the way that they truly are.

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We see them the way that we are.

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For instance, say you were severely hurt

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by a group of people, you can insert a church,

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you can insert a person there, whatever the situation is.

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They mistreated you, lied about you and then discarded you.

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The heart wounds and lies that were created

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as a result of that trauma will give you

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a skewed perception of groups in the future.

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You might avoid groups or communities of people

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like the play, convincing yourself that they are all bad.

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Women do this with men a lot.

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They categorize men and all men are bad.

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Whether they're saying they wanna meet a man,

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but internally they've partnered with the lie

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that all men cheat, all men lie, all men fill in the blank.

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Sometimes going on, it says here,

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you might try again to search for community,

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but if you do decide to join a similar group in the future,

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your most significant obstacle to belonging

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will be the filter that was created

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by your prior experience.

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I know that some of the ladies in here in our group

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have shared that they went through church hurt

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or they were hurt by other women in authority.

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We've been talking about that in the sessions.

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We've been talking about that in the group board.

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And I wanna encourage you all, if that is you,

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the enemy is gonna really war against you

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connecting in this community.

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He'll try to convince you that if you share something

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and you open up, it's gonna turn out

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exactly like it always has.

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I wanna encourage you to turn away from that

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because the enemy is a liar

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and he's just trying to get you into isolation

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instead of leaning into community.

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Hurt in community, healed in community, ladies.

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Hurt in relationship, healed in relationship.

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And as you stay and you lean into relationship here,

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God will heal things in ways beyond

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what you could ever ask and think or imagine.

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And Denise, I just realized that it was you

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that was asking about phase two.

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I know you've been here for five weeks.

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So girl, just email admin at JackieDorman.com

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and we can move you along to that.

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Matthew 22, 39 says this,

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love your neighbor as you love yourself.

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And so my question for you tonight, and a lot of you are going to say yes right away,

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I'm going to already say it.

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If I say, do you love yourself, we're going to be like, yeah, I do, I do, because we do

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to the best of our ability.

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But what I want you to actually ask yourself is, do you like yourself?

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Do you like you?

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Not just put up with yourself, but when you're alone, do you enjoy spending time with yourself?

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If not, there's that's something that we need to look at.

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Why?

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Why not?

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Why don't we enjoy ourselves?

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A lot of people don't understand that self hatred on the inside subconsciously is impacting

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even the way that you're showing up by yourself when you're with yourself.

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And then that's impacting the way that you're showing up with other people.

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Because again, it says love your neighbor as you love yourself.

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But if we don't love ourselves, how are we going to be able to love the other people

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around us?

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Forgiveness is not a feeling, it's a choice.

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I want you all to understand there's going to be a lot of times you're not going to feel

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like forgiving.

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You're going to actually feel the opposite.

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You're going to feel like you don't want to, but it's, it's not a feeling that we have.

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I will give you this.

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Sometimes there is going to be that big supernatural release.

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You're going to feel amazing and you're going to, it's just going to be an experience supernaturally

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that you have.

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Okay.

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But most of the time, most of the forgiveness choices that I have made on my journey, I

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have not felt some big awesome release.

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It's been a choice, a choice to forgive, a choice to humble myself.

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Even sometimes when I don't think the person should be offended, but they're offended because

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I know my heart, but you know what?

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Not everybody knows our heart.

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And so I can lean into like, father, okay, can you show me, is there anything I could

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have done or said differently in this situation to bring about healing, to bring about, you

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know, restoration, to bring about peace, whatever it is.

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And sometimes there's not because it takes two people in every relationship.

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You all, it takes two people.

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Everybody has to be willing to come to the table to make things work.

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All right, let's look at Ephesians 4.23 says this, forgive one another, just as God forgave

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you because of what Christ has done.

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I want you to think right now about the forgiveness that you received when you accepted Jesus

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Christ as your Lord and Savior, and the grace that's been extended to you freely, openly,

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never held back.

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And when we, when we take time to actually sit and think about that, a lot of times,

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ladies, that can give us the ability to, to step into that truth.

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Oh my gosh.

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Yeah, man, I've been forgiven of a lot.

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I've been forgiven of so much.

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So how could I hold forgiveness back from someone else?

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Colossians 3.13 says, remember the Lord forgave you, so you must also forgive others.

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You want to forgive all the characters in the story as well, ladies.

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What do I mean by that?

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I mean, including yourself.

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I have found in this community more times than not, that people that stay stuck after

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they've forgiven other people, it's often because somewhere deep down, they don't forgive

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themselves.

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For various different reasons.

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Some people like, you know, I can remember coming out of the abusive relationships that

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I was in and just feeling like such a fool that I got caught up in that again and really

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struggling to forgive myself because I knew better, but I just kept going past those red

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flags.

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And praise God, I didn't continue to do those behaviors as I healed and really learned how

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to stick to boundaries and all of that.

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But it took time.

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It took time to forgive myself for that.

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You know, sometimes people will just not forgive themselves for things they're not even responsible

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for.

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I have people that I've coached in this community that as children, there was responsibility

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put on them as kids and because they couldn't fulfill the responsibility, they actually

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held themselves accountable to it, even when they were little.

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When that was never their responsibility.

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And that didn't come up this afternoon, so I feel like that is for someone here tonight.

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You've been carrying responsibility on your back for a long time that was never intended

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for you.

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And it hurt you as a kid and you felt bad and guilt even because of that.

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at because you were struggling under the weight of something

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that wasn't intended for you. And the Lord wants to set you

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free from that tonight. He wants to help you forgive the people

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that put that responsibility on you. And so whoever you are, or

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if you're watching the replay, we love you, and we're praying

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for you. And God has so much better for you as you release

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that to his care. Ladies, I'm last thing I want to share

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before we go into breakouts is forgiveness happens in layers.

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So often, healing happens in layers, I want to encourage you

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to give yourself a lot of grace, and be open to the process of

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healing. And we've talked about that even on our live sessions

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recently, like, sometimes you're going to be processing something

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and you're going to forgive people. And you might journey

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another year down the road, and God might bring that person back

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up. And if that happens, it's not that you didn't do a good

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job, forgiving, it's just that there's another piece of that

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relationship or that situation or something with that person

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that the Father is trying to just show you another piece. So

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that you can get more healing in that because he doesn't reveal

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stuff to us before we're able to process it. Okay. I know a lot

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of people be like, God won't give you more than you can

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handle. And y'all, I don't really believe in that. I think

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there's a lot of times we feel like we can't handle stuff. But

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what I do believe is that God does release information, when

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we are able to withstand it, whether we realize that we can

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withstand it or not. Because here's the reality, we're not

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withstanding it on our own, we always have God in us, the hope

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of glory helping us process and walk through every situation in

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life, even as I was saying earlier, he's already gone into

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situations that we haven't even gone into yet. He's already

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there. His Word declares that he goes before us to make a way for

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us to be able to stand in the midst of a situation. So your

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first question tonight, for the first breakout is who do you

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need to forgive tonight? And why? Who do you need to forgive

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tonight? And why? Let me get these breakouts set up. I'm

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going to put three in a room tonight. Keep it short, brief

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and powerful ladies, as you're sharing. And just make sure that

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everybody in the room has an opportunity to share. Okay,

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super important. I'm going to give you eight minutes. And here

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are the rooms for you. Go ahead and click to join. Who do you

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need to forgive tonight? And why? I'm praying for you all.

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All right, I think we've got everyone has two. All right.

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Father, thank you so much for every one of these ladies. We

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thank you God for just the reality of forgiveness that

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comes from heaven for us. We thank you that you would just

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continue to minister truth and hope and life into our spirits,

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our minds, our bodies, our souls, help us to hear what your

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spirit is saying. Yeah, Lord, we thank you that you would just

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transform us by the renewing of our minds that all old things

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have passed away and behold, everything has become new and

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new. We thank you God that the former things are being brought

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into the new life that we're living in. So Lord, we thank

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you that you would remove all the dead. What I keep kind of

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getting in my spirit is all the dead stuff off of us, all the

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dead skin, the dead weight, all the burdens and the things that

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we've been carrying on ourselves. Lord, we thank you

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that you would remove all of that off of us and help us to

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receive a lightness, a vibrancy, a freedom in the supernatural

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realm like never before. We thank you God that you would

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remove every weight that so easily ensnares us so that we

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could press on toward the high calling of God for our lives. We

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thank you that you are the great redeemer, that you are redeeming

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every situation in our lives that we can turn to you and

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trust you in every circumstance. Psalm 147, three through four

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in the Passion Translation says this, he heals the wounds of

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every shattered heart. He sets his stars in place, calling them

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all by their names. I want you to be thinking about that ladies

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of all the different ways that he heals the wounds of every

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shattered heart. Where's your heart shattered?

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Tonight, where do you need God to come in and minister his healing touch?

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He's waiting to meet you in that area and he loves you and he wants to make you completely whole lacking no

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good thing

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Revelation 12 9 through 11 says then I heard a

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Triumphant voice in heaven proclaiming now salvation and power are set in place in the kingdom reign of our God

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And the ruling authority of his anointed one are established

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for the accuser of our brothers and sisters who relentlessly accuse them day and night before God has now been

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defeated cast out once and for all I just want to remind you all that

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Satan the accuser of the brethren has been placed under your feet

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He's placed under your feet. You already have the victory. It's up to us to remind

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Satan of the truth. So what is the truth that you're declaring over your life in this season?

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Do you believe that God has more for you in the days to come?

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00:31:05.660 --> 00:31:12.540
Do you believe that he has blessing and life overflowing that you can experience the goodness of God in the land of the living?

452
00:31:13.260 --> 00:31:18.020
If you don't I want to encourage you to invite God to come into every area that's causing

453
00:31:18.580 --> 00:31:20.580
doubt or fear or

454
00:31:21.060 --> 00:31:27.380
Unbelief in any way shape or form that he would come in and minister hope in life and truth and

455
00:31:27.660 --> 00:31:35.620
Help you to have a new story a new prayer a new belief and that you would just continue to see

456
00:31:36.940 --> 00:31:42.020
Even transformation in yourself that you would see yourself through the eyes of the Lord

457
00:31:42.620 --> 00:31:48.100
Ephesians 3 17 through 19 says this then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him

458
00:31:48.780 --> 00:31:52.460
Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong

459
00:31:53.820 --> 00:31:56.540
and may you have the power to understand as

460
00:31:57.660 --> 00:32:04.220
All God's people should how wide how long how high and how deep his love is

461
00:32:05.460 --> 00:32:10.620
May you experience the love of Christ though? It is too great to understand fully

462
00:32:11.180 --> 00:32:16.940
Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God

463
00:32:18.620 --> 00:32:23.860
I love that first verse then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him

464
00:32:24.260 --> 00:32:27.660
Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong

465
00:32:28.620 --> 00:32:31.820
Father we just thank you right now that every one of these ladies that

466
00:32:32.740 --> 00:32:40.060
You would help them to open their hearts to trust you more God to allow you to come into every area of their heart

467
00:32:40.660 --> 00:32:42.660
every crevice that you would

468
00:32:43.580 --> 00:32:48.660
Continue to make yourself known to them and that you would help their roots grow down deep into you father

469
00:32:49.180 --> 00:32:54.180
that you would help them to hear what your spirit is saying to them louder than any voice of the enemy and

470
00:32:54.380 --> 00:32:57.260
That they would experience your love and transformation

471
00:32:58.700 --> 00:33:00.740
From the inside out in a fresh way

472
00:33:02.540 --> 00:33:06.380
Sorry ladies this cough drops kind of kicking around here and

473
00:33:07.380 --> 00:33:10.420
Lord, we just thank you that um, yes Lord. I

474
00:33:11.140 --> 00:33:16.500
Just I'm heard the Lord say that even those that are doubting

475
00:33:17.620 --> 00:33:20.960
Can this really make a difference God wants you to know that he sees you?

476
00:33:21.460 --> 00:33:26.900
And that it will make a difference as you continue to partner with him and do the work

477
00:33:26.900 --> 00:33:33.540
You're gonna start to experience a shift in the supernatural realm. They're gonna experience a shift in the physical realm as well

478
00:33:34.220 --> 00:33:35.340
and

479
00:33:35.340 --> 00:33:38.300
I just keep hearing the Lord say that

480
00:33:38.820 --> 00:33:45.700
Those that are in need God is about to bring a solution and so we just thank you that you're the one that brings solution

481
00:33:45.700 --> 00:33:50.940
and provision we thank you that you would help us to hear what your spirit is saying and that we would lean into

482
00:33:52.620 --> 00:34:00.540
Yes, the truth of heaven over our lives over our situations that you're not gonna leave us empty-handed and you're not gonna leave us

483
00:34:01.100 --> 00:34:05.820
Alone your word declares that you never leave us nor forsake us the Lord. We thank you for that

484
00:34:06.260 --> 00:34:09.620
We thank you that you would help us to partner with the truth tonight

485
00:34:10.739 --> 00:34:12.340
and

486
00:34:12.340 --> 00:34:20.580
Just lean into truth in life and hope I'm gonna read this from heart workbook. This is from the heart check-in about forgiveness

487
00:34:21.540 --> 00:34:24.060
Dear Heavenly Father in the name of the Lord Jesus

488
00:34:24.060 --> 00:34:27.780
I purpose and choose to forgive and you would put in who you're forgiving for

489
00:34:28.739 --> 00:34:32.860
What are you forgiving them for I release and you would say their name?

490
00:34:32.860 --> 00:34:37.300
I cancel their debts and obligations to me in this issue dear Lord

491
00:34:37.300 --> 00:34:43.940
I ask you to forgive me for my bitterness towards and you would say their name in this situation in the name of Jesus

492
00:34:43.940 --> 00:34:47.300
I cancel all of Satan's power and authority over me in this issue

493
00:34:47.940 --> 00:34:54.340
Because I have forgiven them and God has forgiven me it is done and over

494
00:34:54.780 --> 00:35:00.020
Holy Spirit, please come and heal my heart and tell me your truth about this

495
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.880
this situation.

496
00:35:01.880 --> 00:35:03.480
Father, I thank you that you would come

497
00:35:03.480 --> 00:35:04.960
into every one of the situations

498
00:35:04.960 --> 00:35:06.520
represented by every person

499
00:35:06.520 --> 00:35:09.040
that's a part of this phase one hard work group

500
00:35:09.040 --> 00:35:12.600
and you would show them the truth about every situation

501
00:35:12.600 --> 00:35:14.400
that they're releasing into your care

502
00:35:14.400 --> 00:35:17.240
where they're choosing to step into forgiveness tonight.

503
00:35:18.160 --> 00:35:21.160
Help them to hear, help them to see.

504
00:35:21.160 --> 00:35:24.580
We thank you for revelation coming in Jesus name.

505
00:35:26.800 --> 00:35:28.900
Romans 8 28 in NLT says,

506
00:35:28.900 --> 00:35:32.060
and we know that God causes everything to work together

507
00:35:32.060 --> 00:35:33.860
for the good of those who love God

508
00:35:33.860 --> 00:35:37.540
and are called according to his purpose for them.

509
00:35:40.540 --> 00:35:41.980
So I wanna encourage you,

510
00:35:42.860 --> 00:35:45.020
whatever the situation is,

511
00:35:45.020 --> 00:35:48.060
God's working it all together for good

512
00:35:50.420 --> 00:35:51.620
for those who love him

513
00:35:51.620 --> 00:35:54.800
and who are called according to his purposes.

514
00:35:55.800 --> 00:35:58.160
Genesis 50 20 says,

515
00:35:58.160 --> 00:35:59.600
you intended to harm me,

516
00:35:59.600 --> 00:36:02.880
but God intended it all for good.

517
00:36:02.880 --> 00:36:04.160
He brought me to this position

518
00:36:04.160 --> 00:36:06.320
so I could save the lives of many people.

519
00:36:06.320 --> 00:36:09.900
So Lord, we just thank you that you use all situations,

520
00:36:09.900 --> 00:36:11.560
you work them all together for good,

521
00:36:11.560 --> 00:36:14.220
that we can trust you to work

522
00:36:14.220 --> 00:36:17.000
even in our lives and situations right now.

523
00:36:17.000 --> 00:36:18.360
Lord, we thank you that you would remove

524
00:36:18.360 --> 00:36:21.320
stony hardened hearts and parts of our hearts

525
00:36:21.320 --> 00:36:24.300
that are just hardened and callous from pain

526
00:36:24.700 --> 00:36:26.660
and the trauma that we've experienced.

527
00:36:26.660 --> 00:36:29.140
And we thank you that you would put in our hearts,

528
00:36:29.140 --> 00:36:32.420
hearts that are soft and pliable to you God,

529
00:36:32.420 --> 00:36:35.140
that you would be able to come in

530
00:36:35.140 --> 00:36:36.580
and have your way in our hearts,

531
00:36:36.580 --> 00:36:39.660
that we would not hold back our hearts at all from you,

532
00:36:39.660 --> 00:36:41.460
that we would truly surrender

533
00:36:41.460 --> 00:36:44.800
to your supernatural grace and power.

534
00:36:44.800 --> 00:36:47.300
We thank you God that yeah, Lord,

535
00:36:47.300 --> 00:36:49.920
that the Lord just said to remind you all

536
00:36:49.920 --> 00:36:53.540
that he's super compassionate and he's full of grace.

537
00:36:53.540 --> 00:36:55.760
Even when we struggle to forgive,

538
00:36:56.720 --> 00:36:59.140
but he's gonna continue to knock on the door of our hearts

539
00:36:59.140 --> 00:37:02.040
to forgive because it's such an important choice.

540
00:37:02.980 --> 00:37:04.980
We don't wanna be held back from our relationship

541
00:37:04.980 --> 00:37:07.460
with the father in any way, shape or form.

542
00:37:07.460 --> 00:37:10.300
And so as we forgive, it clears that path.

543
00:37:10.300 --> 00:37:13.780
Jesus already died to make that path for us,

544
00:37:13.780 --> 00:37:16.100
but we have to choose to step into it.

545
00:37:16.100 --> 00:37:18.220
Welcome back, welcome back.

546
00:37:18.220 --> 00:37:19.880
So glad to have you here.

547
00:37:19.880 --> 00:37:21.800
Who is willing to share with the whole group

548
00:37:21.800 --> 00:37:23.480
what you shared in your breakout?

549
00:37:27.160 --> 00:37:29.240
Let's see, Sarah in California, awesome.

550
00:37:32.120 --> 00:37:33.640
Hi, Bethany, hi everybody.

551
00:37:34.600 --> 00:37:35.680
Hi.

552
00:37:35.680 --> 00:37:37.640
So I've gotten,

553
00:37:37.640 --> 00:37:40.380
I feel like I'm getting better about forgiving.

554
00:37:41.240 --> 00:37:43.440
There's of course still challenges with that,

555
00:37:43.440 --> 00:37:48.040
but I was at a church,

556
00:37:48.040 --> 00:37:50.840
you were talking about kind of hurting church type thing

557
00:37:50.840 --> 00:37:55.840
and I was, I just feel like it was a unhealthy,

558
00:37:56.240 --> 00:37:57.980
kind of got really unhealthy,

559
00:37:57.980 --> 00:38:00.600
kind of a little bit prior to 2020

560
00:38:00.600 --> 00:38:02.880
and then through 2020 and then after 2020,

561
00:38:02.880 --> 00:38:06.280
and there was kind of a lot of hurt and resentment.

562
00:38:06.280 --> 00:38:08.840
But again, like I said, it was kind of even prior to that

563
00:38:08.840 --> 00:38:10.440
and where some things were kind of festering

564
00:38:10.440 --> 00:38:12.400
and wasn't like kind of dealing with it.

565
00:38:12.400 --> 00:38:17.400
And so I ended up having to kind of like leave

566
00:38:17.520 --> 00:38:20.480
for my own health and mental wellbeing

567
00:38:20.480 --> 00:38:22.320
and all of that and spiritual wellbeing.

568
00:38:22.320 --> 00:38:23.140
And it's been good.

569
00:38:23.140 --> 00:38:24.440
And since I've left,

570
00:38:24.440 --> 00:38:26.840
I've kind of just been kind of seeking God about it.

571
00:38:26.840 --> 00:38:30.580
And I feel like I have more grace towards,

572
00:38:30.580 --> 00:38:33.580
well, specifically the pastor and kind of,

573
00:38:34.840 --> 00:38:37.640
anyway, so I feel like I have more grace towards him

574
00:38:37.640 --> 00:38:41.320
and the leadership and everything,

575
00:38:41.320 --> 00:38:43.080
but specifically him, it was just really hard.

576
00:38:43.080 --> 00:38:46.400
I felt like kind of he was in some ways kind of like,

577
00:38:47.960 --> 00:38:49.280
well, I don't want to go into too much detail.

578
00:38:49.280 --> 00:38:50.120
It was nothing.

579
00:38:50.120 --> 00:38:52.320
He didn't do anything specifically to me.

580
00:38:52.320 --> 00:38:57.320
Like he didn't like nothing kind of where,

581
00:38:57.320 --> 00:38:59.200
anyways, it wasn't, it wasn't, but-

582
00:38:59.200 --> 00:39:02.160
Were you carrying an offense for something

583
00:39:02.160 --> 00:39:03.400
that hurt other people?

584
00:39:03.400 --> 00:39:04.480
Is that what you're saying?

585
00:39:04.480 --> 00:39:07.440
Well, it was kind of personal, but it was like,

586
00:39:09.760 --> 00:39:10.840
I don't quite know how to explain it.

587
00:39:10.840 --> 00:39:13.360
Like, I don't want to like gossip or anything,

588
00:39:13.360 --> 00:39:15.480
but it was just something that was unhealthy

589
00:39:15.480 --> 00:39:17.000
that I felt like it was unhealthy

590
00:39:17.600 --> 00:39:19.160
and maybe some others felt like it was.

591
00:39:19.160 --> 00:39:22.080
And it was just kind of how he kind of

592
00:39:22.080 --> 00:39:23.680
dealt with some people.

593
00:39:23.680 --> 00:39:27.440
And so I just felt like I need to kind of put some space.

594
00:39:27.440 --> 00:39:30.080
And since I have, it's been good and it's been better.

595
00:39:30.080 --> 00:39:33.520
And I feel mentally in a better place.

596
00:39:33.520 --> 00:39:37.000
But I have also done better on like forgiving him

597
00:39:37.000 --> 00:39:38.880
and kind of trying to see things through his perspective

598
00:39:38.880 --> 00:39:40.720
and seeing like through this course,

599
00:39:40.720 --> 00:39:45.160
I feel like I have more grace for him than I did prior.

600
00:39:45.160 --> 00:39:48.280
So that's all that to say that that's kind of what

601
00:39:48.280 --> 00:39:50.280
I was, I guess, trying to get to.

602
00:39:50.280 --> 00:39:51.120
Yeah, I love that.

603
00:39:51.120 --> 00:39:52.440
A long about way.

604
00:39:52.440 --> 00:39:53.840
Oh, that's all right.

605
00:39:53.840 --> 00:39:55.400
Sometimes I'll just ask questions

606
00:39:55.400 --> 00:39:58.720
to make sure I'm understanding what you're saying.

607
00:39:58.720 --> 00:39:59.720
I love that, Sarah.

608
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.680
And you all, one of the things that even you all, it's in the coursework, but I want to pull this

609
00:40:05.680 --> 00:40:11.600
out since Sarah mentioned something about seeing that change in her heart to have grace for someone

610
00:40:11.600 --> 00:40:17.680
else, you know, because people are, even Christians, we're imperfect. We make mistakes all the time.

611
00:40:17.680 --> 00:40:23.440
Do we want someone to give us grace when we make a mistake? I know I do, because some days we just

612
00:40:23.440 --> 00:40:29.600
have a bad day, people. We do, right? And so let's extend grace to other people. But the one thing I

613
00:40:29.600 --> 00:40:35.360
want to point out as well is, you know, that we would ask the Lord to help us see the gold in

614
00:40:35.360 --> 00:40:42.080
people. I think so often we're looking for the negative in people on the regular, myself included,

615
00:40:42.080 --> 00:40:47.120
especially after you've been hurt. I don't know about you all, but sometimes when you've been

616
00:40:47.120 --> 00:40:52.560
hurt, that suspicious, you know, you're always trying to, what are they up to? What are they

617
00:40:52.560 --> 00:40:57.440
trying to do? You know, like you're just always trying to look for that. And, and I think God

618
00:40:57.440 --> 00:41:00.960
wants us to look for the good in people. Again, that doesn't mean we have to go back into

619
00:41:00.960 --> 00:41:06.800
relationship. If somebody's toxic or unhealthy, we're not saying reenter that and go right back

620
00:41:06.800 --> 00:41:12.880
into that like before. But what I am saying is like, what God, God made these people in His image.

621
00:41:13.840 --> 00:41:19.440
Now, not every one of them are sons and daughters of God because they haven't accepted Jesus yet,

622
00:41:19.440 --> 00:41:25.600
but they're still made in His image. So can we see the good in the people around us? What is

623
00:41:25.600 --> 00:41:32.480
the gold that God wants us to see? And, and just the, the key there is that it's changing our heart

624
00:41:32.480 --> 00:41:38.960
posture. That's the key. What's going on in our hearts and what does God want to do in us? I love

625
00:41:38.960 --> 00:41:44.480
that you shared that, Sarah. Thank you so much. Ruth A. Ruth, you're up.

626
00:41:46.480 --> 00:41:54.480
Oh, thanks, Bethany. Yeah. I shared in the group that I felt like the person I

627
00:41:54.480 --> 00:42:04.080
most needed to forgive is myself. And, um, yeah. And the reason for that being, um,

628
00:42:05.440 --> 00:42:10.720
getting divorced was something that, I mean, I'm sure nobody ever, it's nothing anybody ever wishes

629
00:42:10.720 --> 00:42:17.840
for, but so, I mean, that's, I feel universal, except I was, you know, the person that I always

630
00:42:17.840 --> 00:42:23.680
believed getting married that I, even on our wedding day, that I did not make vows to my

631
00:42:23.680 --> 00:42:29.920
husband. I actually made my vows to God about him. Like that was a very strong belief I had.

632
00:42:30.480 --> 00:42:34.160
And I just, and it's just like, we had family there, you know, and friends to kind of as

633
00:42:34.160 --> 00:42:39.280
witnesses for that. So, but that was always my perception. I mean, I even told him, you know,

634
00:42:39.280 --> 00:42:45.040
my now ex that, um, when we were engaged in, you know, all of that, so that if you ever leave,

635
00:42:45.040 --> 00:42:49.600
I'm going with you. Like, that was just how I saw it. Like, there's no, this is a road of

636
00:42:49.600 --> 00:42:54.880
no return kind of thing. Once you're back on it, it's a till death thing. And so for me,

637
00:42:54.880 --> 00:43:01.280
I think the biggest part for me was just the, well, if I couldn't even keep that promise or

638
00:43:01.280 --> 00:43:06.240
that vow, like what, what else can I not keep? Like what promise, you know, like,

639
00:43:06.800 --> 00:43:13.600
like I can't be trusted to keep my word or a vow about something like of that magnitude or

640
00:43:13.600 --> 00:43:20.880
significance. And so just kind of, you know, doubting and then having a pattern of starting

641
00:43:20.880 --> 00:43:28.720
things and not finishing it, which I know a provider or multiple providers, actually,

642
00:43:28.720 --> 00:43:34.720
I've said that that's an ADHD thing that they diagnosed, but I just, it really like, just feel

643
00:43:34.720 --> 00:43:39.360
like I can't trust, like, you know, having that with myself, like funny, I haven't had a problem

644
00:43:39.360 --> 00:43:43.920
forgiving him. It's been, you know, I feel like where I've been stuck and where I've even been

645
00:43:43.920 --> 00:43:48.720
reluctant to engage in the community because I log in and I'll see stuff and I know I should

646
00:43:49.360 --> 00:43:54.640
engage, but it's just not trusting myself. Well, let me ask you a question because I think it's

647
00:43:54.640 --> 00:44:01.040
really important. You said, if I couldn't keep that promise, well, how long did you keep that

648
00:44:01.040 --> 00:44:07.360
promise? You know, let's look at the flip side of this. Like you stayed in the game. You, you

649
00:44:07.360 --> 00:44:13.920
tried to make it work. I'm guessing it wasn't like you just hightailed it out of there, right?

650
00:44:13.920 --> 00:44:19.920
No. Yeah. Okay. So are you celebrating all the time that you actually did do your best?

651
00:44:22.720 --> 00:44:29.520
Yeah, no, I don't believe so because I don't see them or I feel like they're very few

652
00:44:30.160 --> 00:44:38.400
compared to failures. Yeah. So, and some of that is, it goes into when we're younger,

653
00:44:38.400 --> 00:44:44.640
if we're programmed where, and I don't know, Ruth, I can't recall what your upbringing was, but

654
00:44:44.640 --> 00:44:49.440
if we're programmed to think that nothing that we're doing is enough, even when we're doing

655
00:44:49.440 --> 00:44:56.480
something good, it never is enough, even within ourselves. And so I want to just encourage you

656
00:44:56.480 --> 00:44:59.840
to really spend some time with that statement. If I couldn't keep

657
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.840
that promise, then how can I keep other promises to myself? How can I believe anything I'm even

658
00:45:05.840 --> 00:45:13.360
saying to myself? And when you really get to the root of that, basically there's that break in that

659
00:45:13.360 --> 00:45:20.720
fissure within yourself where God wants to come in and heal. How can I explain this?

660
00:45:21.920 --> 00:45:29.360
When we start not trusting ourselves, we actually war constantly within ourselves against ourselves.

661
00:45:30.000 --> 00:45:36.320
God wants to bring peace to that situation. God wants to help you start celebrating the good

662
00:45:36.320 --> 00:45:43.760
things that you have done. You're here in this community. You're doing the work and when you

663
00:45:43.760 --> 00:45:49.920
come in the group, here's the thing. You can comment without even having to trust yourself.

664
00:45:49.920 --> 00:45:55.040
You can just start engaging and every time the enemy tries to tell you, no, you shouldn't comment

665
00:45:55.040 --> 00:46:00.400
because you can't trust yourself. Satan, I'm not going to listen to you. I'm going to choose to

666
00:46:00.400 --> 00:46:06.560
engage in the community because God's doing a work in me. It's choosing the opposite of what

667
00:46:06.560 --> 00:46:15.120
you have chosen in the past to believe because here's the reality too. If the reason that you

668
00:46:15.120 --> 00:46:21.840
got divorced was because there was brokenness for whatever reason, whoever filed, and I think a lot

669
00:46:21.840 --> 00:46:27.040
of this comes from the church. Of course, I'm totally for marriage, you all, but I know that

670
00:46:27.040 --> 00:46:33.040
God rescued me from my prior marriage. I know that he did. I would have never gone through divorce

671
00:46:33.040 --> 00:46:40.160
either and that was a really tough thing for me to also get over, but once I forgave myself and

672
00:46:40.160 --> 00:46:46.720
realized that I actually did the best thing for myself that I could have ever done, as well as

673
00:46:47.200 --> 00:46:55.200
my stepson and the other people in this situation, because what I chose was life.

674
00:46:56.480 --> 00:47:04.160
That's what I chose. I chose life and the enemy wants to try to get us to get hung up on the thing

675
00:47:04.160 --> 00:47:10.160
that we supposedly did wrong, but what did we do right in the process? What does God want to

676
00:47:10.160 --> 00:47:17.600
show us about our decision to live, move forward, to heal, and even if, let's just say this, even if

677
00:47:17.600 --> 00:47:24.960
we didn't leave for the reasons the church deems that we can leave a marriage for,

678
00:47:26.080 --> 00:47:31.760
do you know that God is so able to redeem that even in and of itself as well? At the end of the

679
00:47:31.760 --> 00:47:36.640
day, you can't go back and change that. All you can do is move forward. That's all we can do,

680
00:47:36.640 --> 00:47:42.720
ladies, is move forward, and so what does God want to show you about your steps forward, what you're

681
00:47:42.720 --> 00:47:48.560
doing, what you're achieving, where you're at, how you're growing, you know, what is all the positive

682
00:47:48.560 --> 00:47:54.400
that he wants to help you see, and if, like you said, if you try to look and you don't see a lot of that,

683
00:47:54.400 --> 00:48:01.440
just keep asking him to show you yourself through his eyes, because I think part of the problem is

684
00:48:01.440 --> 00:48:06.800
we're looking at ourselves through our own eyes versus the eyes of the Father, so what does he

685
00:48:06.800 --> 00:48:13.600
want to show you, and how does he want to change and flip that script into, I can keep promises to

686
00:48:13.600 --> 00:48:22.320
myself, and I do trust myself, and I'm moving forward. Yeah, yeah. Thanks. You're welcome. I'm so glad

687
00:48:22.320 --> 00:48:28.800
that you shared and chose to come into community by sharing. That's awesome. Lisa, go ahead.

688
00:48:28.880 --> 00:48:38.720
Hi, Bethany. Thank you. Hello. Knowing the back story, I had one day, my dad was screaming at me

689
00:48:38.720 --> 00:48:46.880
because I wrote an exam and said to him that I don't think I passed that, although I did, but I

690
00:48:46.880 --> 00:48:52.640
had the exam the next day, but that whole situation, it is this trauma, which God replaced with his

691
00:48:53.600 --> 00:49:01.680
truth, so that is sorted, and I thought, okay, well, I'm done with it, but this afternoon, when I was in

692
00:49:01.680 --> 00:49:08.080
the session and I was listening in, God reminded me that I had let somebody else scream at me in Canada

693
00:49:08.080 --> 00:49:14.880
here when I lived with her for nine months, so I let her scream at me, and I didn't say anything, and I also

694
00:49:14.960 --> 00:49:21.600
let my employer, my previous employer, scream at me for two years and not say anything, so

695
00:49:23.040 --> 00:49:27.920
this was a revelation this afternoon that I had to actually forgive myself

696
00:49:27.920 --> 00:49:34.560
for letting those people scream at me because nobody should be screamed at. Like, that's not

697
00:49:34.560 --> 00:49:40.000
something anybody should be said, so I feel like I don't want anybody else screaming at me when I'm in

698
00:49:40.000 --> 00:49:46.080
Germany. I don't want anybody screaming at me, so I feel like I thought I'm done my forgiveness,

699
00:49:46.080 --> 00:49:50.320
like there's nothing, but there was this thing. The second thing that I wanted to quickly mention

700
00:49:50.320 --> 00:49:54.720
was the thing that you said, carrying responsibility on your back that was never yours.

701
00:49:54.720 --> 00:49:59.840
I think that was meant for me. I'm taking it on for me because my dad has to

702
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.200
way 70 years ago when I was in India. And then I took the entire responsibility of my house

703
00:50:05.840 --> 00:50:12.960
over me. And I think God was just telling me that that was never my responsibility.

704
00:50:12.960 --> 00:50:18.000
God is protecting my family, my brother and my mother. So I had to release that to God.

705
00:50:19.280 --> 00:50:24.720
So good. Thank you for sharing that. Lisa, one of the things that I wrote down as you were sharing,

706
00:50:24.720 --> 00:50:30.480
you're 100% correct. You don't need to be screamed at by anyone. And ladies, here's the thing.

707
00:50:31.520 --> 00:50:37.600
If someone starts screaming at us, they may or may not be willing to hear this. But you can say to

708
00:50:37.600 --> 00:50:44.480
them, if you're going to continue to yell at me, I'm going to walk away from this conversation.

709
00:50:46.240 --> 00:50:51.760
And if they continue to yell, then you walk away from that conversation. We don't need to

710
00:50:52.320 --> 00:50:57.120
just remain in situations like that, ladies. We need to set healthy boundaries with people

711
00:50:57.120 --> 00:51:01.440
and know that it's okay that we do. They may not act like it's okay. They might actually

712
00:51:01.440 --> 00:51:06.560
throw tantrums. People, literally adult people do this. But we don't need to be afraid of that.

713
00:51:06.560 --> 00:51:11.280
And I really do believe, Lisa, that that is revelation from the Lord. He wants that cycle

714
00:51:11.280 --> 00:51:18.800
to stop in your life. And He wants to help you, you know, begin to, well not begin, continue to grow

715
00:51:19.520 --> 00:51:24.800
in your voice and standing up for yourself. And ladies, we don't have to be confrontational with

716
00:51:24.800 --> 00:51:30.320
people. But we can literally just say, like, I've done that even on a phone call before years ago.

717
00:51:30.320 --> 00:51:35.680
Actually, it was with my dad. He was yelling at me about something. And I just said, hey,

718
00:51:36.720 --> 00:51:43.520
I really want to have a conversation. But I'm not going to continue on this phone call with you

719
00:51:44.080 --> 00:51:48.960
if you continue to yell at me about this. This is not something, like I was married and he was

720
00:51:48.960 --> 00:51:53.600
trying to tell me that I had to buy this thing that he wanted me to buy and all this stuff,

721
00:51:53.600 --> 00:51:58.880
which isn't even biblical. When you're married, your husband is the one that you make decisions

722
00:51:58.880 --> 00:52:04.240
with. But my dad was trying to strong arm me into making this financial decision.

723
00:52:04.800 --> 00:52:11.600
And it was because it benefited him, you all. And I had, and that was tough. I had to say, you know,

724
00:52:11.600 --> 00:52:18.320
hey, no, my husband and I talk and we make decisions about our finances. And that is

725
00:52:18.320 --> 00:52:24.240
biblically in order. And we don't feel led to purchase this at this time, you know, and just

726
00:52:24.240 --> 00:52:28.960
really try to set a healthy boundary. And as he continued to try to escalate it, I just said to

727
00:52:28.960 --> 00:52:33.760
him, hey, I already said, if you're going to continue to be upset, I'm going to hang up.

728
00:52:33.760 --> 00:52:38.560
I'm going to end this phone call. So because you're continuing to yell, I'm hanging up now.

729
00:52:38.560 --> 00:52:45.360
And that's what I did. And, you know, not, not again, not always do these people appreciate that,

730
00:52:45.360 --> 00:52:50.880
but you know what, my life was more peaceful. And I stood up for myself. And so I want to

731
00:52:50.880 --> 00:52:55.440
encourage any of you, if you really struggle in those kinds of situations and dynamics,

732
00:52:55.440 --> 00:53:00.880
that it's going to be really important for you to learn how to have grace, but strength in that

733
00:53:00.880 --> 00:53:05.760
moment to stand up for yourself and use your voice. So praying for you, Lisa, on that. So

734
00:53:05.760 --> 00:53:09.440
thankful for your share. Go ahead.

735
00:53:13.360 --> 00:53:22.560
Oh, hi. I shared in my group that I'm not any exception other than anyone else. I just

736
00:53:23.200 --> 00:53:28.000
applied a lot of scriptures because it was, I was taught in an early age, you know, in my faith to

737
00:53:28.000 --> 00:53:34.960
do that. So I learned how to, you know, forgive easily. And it's only because of the word of God.

738
00:53:34.960 --> 00:53:41.920
So it's, and also I share that because it's very painful, you know, forgiveness, give me a lot of

739
00:53:41.920 --> 00:53:48.240
pain in my back and my neck and really robbed me from health. You know, I've never had a great

740
00:53:48.240 --> 00:53:53.120
health challenges, but it could have gone there because of, you know, just holding on to a lot

741
00:53:53.120 --> 00:53:59.200
of things. And I started learning how to process it in the word of God. You know, I am easy every

742
00:53:59.200 --> 00:54:07.280
day, even today. I'm easy to forgive. The word of God said, you know, I may create many's image.

743
00:54:07.280 --> 00:54:16.640
I adopt the voice of the Lord. I walk in it. I live in it. I breathe in it. I forgive people

744
00:54:16.640 --> 00:54:21.440
even before they start doing anything to me. I forgive the people, you know, if I have to

745
00:54:21.440 --> 00:54:25.840
serve people, I've owned my business. Now I get the opportunity to work in a bridal store.

746
00:54:25.920 --> 00:54:32.160
The lady is very, the manager could be very violent, you know, her behavior, because she's

747
00:54:32.160 --> 00:54:37.760
stressed. And I started learning to forgive her. If she might offend me, I say I'm dead to offense.

748
00:54:37.760 --> 00:54:46.160
I, you know, I, Lord, thank me not to be offend anyone. So I apply the positive and I realized that

749
00:54:46.720 --> 00:54:51.840
it works. It works that, you know, even I'm living here with my daughter, new relocation,

750
00:54:51.840 --> 00:54:56.480
she had done some things and I just turn it over the next, it hurt in the first day and two.

751
00:54:56.480 --> 00:54:59.840
And then I said, Oh, I'm taking on responsibility. That's not my, like you mentioned.

752
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.160
And I just tried over apply the Word of God and to I mean, she can't understand like,

753
00:55:05.160 --> 00:55:08.520
Mom, you're not talking now, I'm done.

754
00:55:08.520 --> 00:55:11.880
And that's not my personality.

755
00:55:11.880 --> 00:55:16.880
But it's the Word of God that I apply in my heart to forgive.

756
00:55:16.880 --> 00:55:18.340
And we can do it.

757
00:55:18.340 --> 00:55:19.340
We can do it.

758
00:55:19.340 --> 00:55:22.240
We just have to continue applying God's Word.

759
00:55:22.240 --> 00:55:23.640
Yes, every day.

760
00:55:23.640 --> 00:55:24.640
Thank you.

761
00:55:24.640 --> 00:55:25.640
Yes, you're welcome.

762
00:55:25.640 --> 00:55:29.840
You know, it makes me think about I wrote something down this morning, and I didn't

763
00:55:29.840 --> 00:55:33.680
know if it would come up, but it's it's coming up in my spirit now.

764
00:55:33.680 --> 00:55:38.120
And I wrote down the phrase, keep short accounts.

765
00:55:38.120 --> 00:55:39.740
Keep short accounts.

766
00:55:39.740 --> 00:55:44.560
And ladies, I think that's really important to emphasize tonight that when we keep short

767
00:55:44.560 --> 00:55:49.400
accounts kind of like what Felicia is saying, you know, it's not always that it's easy,

768
00:55:49.400 --> 00:55:52.600
but it's definitely beneficial and worth it when we forgive.

769
00:55:52.600 --> 00:55:56.760
You know, even as she's saying, you know, we experience a lot of things in our bodies

770
00:55:56.760 --> 00:56:00.680
and our spirits and our souls, you know, because of unforgiveness, and we want to be

771
00:56:00.680 --> 00:56:02.000
free from all that stuff.

772
00:56:02.000 --> 00:56:07.200
So encourage you all to continue to keep short accounts if there are people that even in

773
00:56:07.200 --> 00:56:11.480
our day to day interactions, those little things that we think, oh, it's not that big

774
00:56:11.480 --> 00:56:12.480
of a deal.

775
00:56:12.480 --> 00:56:14.040
I'll just deal with that tomorrow.

776
00:56:14.040 --> 00:56:16.640
Let's try to just deal with it now.

777
00:56:16.640 --> 00:56:21.600
And that way, we won't have a big volcanic eruption later on, right?

778
00:56:21.600 --> 00:56:22.600
So good, Felicia.

779
00:56:22.600 --> 00:56:24.080
Thank you so much for sharing.

780
00:56:24.080 --> 00:56:25.280
Brenda, go ahead.

781
00:56:27.760 --> 00:56:30.840
Okay, this one's hard for me.

782
00:56:30.840 --> 00:56:31.840
This is vulnerable.

783
00:56:31.840 --> 00:56:34.120
So I feel like that's what the Lord wants me to share.

784
00:56:34.120 --> 00:56:44.440
So 10 years ago, my sister took her life and she was not of sound mind for a long time.

785
00:56:44.440 --> 00:56:52.120
And so I was with my parents and we did something like in memory of her and my mom was crying

786
00:56:52.280 --> 00:56:54.400
and everything.

787
00:56:54.400 --> 00:57:03.680
And I just realized that it upset me knowing what she was like when she was alive.

788
00:57:03.680 --> 00:57:11.360
So the interesting part about this is, I don't know, like two years before she passed or

789
00:57:11.360 --> 00:57:16.080
something hit number three, the guy that I was dating felt like I was supposed to forgive

790
00:57:16.080 --> 00:57:17.080
her.

791
00:57:17.080 --> 00:57:18.080
And I did.

792
00:57:18.080 --> 00:57:29.680
But then I realized that even though I did some restoring the foundations and where the

793
00:57:29.680 --> 00:57:36.680
Lord healed me of what happened, because it was very traumatic when I found out and everything.

794
00:57:36.680 --> 00:57:43.720
But also realize that when I look back, I feel like I still don't have fond memories

795
00:57:43.720 --> 00:57:44.720
of her.

796
00:57:44.720 --> 00:57:49.760
Because she was abusive to me as well, like emotionally and mentally.

797
00:57:49.760 --> 00:57:55.480
So yeah, so it was just interesting that like, because this happened, I don't know, I guess

798
00:57:55.480 --> 00:57:56.480
a week ago.

799
00:57:56.480 --> 00:58:02.560
But when you were talking about it, like the Lord reminded me again, you know, that like,

800
00:58:02.560 --> 00:58:07.920
because I wanted, you know, think of her and be like, wow, you know, she was a part of

801
00:58:07.920 --> 00:58:08.920
my life.

802
00:58:08.920 --> 00:58:14.320
And there's still, yeah, some unforgiveness there.

803
00:58:14.920 --> 00:58:19.880
Well, one of the things I want to share, ladies, and I wish it wasn't this way sometimes.

804
00:58:19.880 --> 00:58:21.840
But here's my reality.

805
00:58:21.840 --> 00:58:24.840
I want to share this because I think it'll minister to you, Brenda, and maybe anyone

806
00:58:24.840 --> 00:58:27.640
else who's relating to what you're saying.

807
00:58:27.640 --> 00:58:32.600
So as I mentioned earlier, my dad passed away a little over a week ago, and we're about

808
00:58:32.600 --> 00:58:34.000
to go to his funeral.

809
00:58:34.000 --> 00:58:39.200
It's really not even a full funeral to like this little mini service this Thursday.

810
00:58:39.200 --> 00:58:44.240
And you all like it's just this little mini service that just my siblings and I are going

811
00:58:44.280 --> 00:58:47.400
to and then we're going to go have a meal.

812
00:58:47.400 --> 00:58:51.800
And the reason I'm mentioning this is that my dad lived a really hard life, and he made

813
00:58:51.800 --> 00:58:54.640
a lot of not good choices.

814
00:58:54.640 --> 00:58:59.520
And at the end of his life, there's not a lot of people that are really concerned about

815
00:58:59.520 --> 00:59:02.000
a celebration of life for him.

816
00:59:02.000 --> 00:59:07.160
Now our family is going to honor him and we're going to come together and, and do the things.

817
00:59:07.160 --> 00:59:14.880
But I'm saying that to say that not everyone lives a life where we can have happy memories.

818
00:59:14.880 --> 00:59:20.060
And we don't have to try to force something to be there that that wasn't, right.

819
00:59:20.060 --> 00:59:24.040
And so I want to encourage you just to release yourself from that, Brenda.

820
00:59:24.040 --> 00:59:25.040
Okay.

821
00:59:25.040 --> 00:59:27.160
Yeah, I felt that when you said that.

822
00:59:27.160 --> 00:59:30.080
So because I like I feel like this.

823
00:59:30.080 --> 00:59:33.880
Like in a group text, my sister, my other sister was like, Oh, she'll be greatly missed.

824
00:59:33.880 --> 00:59:42.440
And I'm like, it's so hard, because, you know, you know, knowing the Lord and, you

825
00:59:42.440 --> 00:59:46.440
know, thinking, you know, how am I supposed to be how am I supposed to act, you know,

826
00:59:46.440 --> 00:59:51.920
like we are, we are to love and, you know, and honor life and it's obviously it wasn't

827
00:59:51.920 --> 00:59:54.440
it wasn't all bad, obviously, you know what I mean?

828
00:59:54.440 --> 01:00:00.040
And you can love and honor her life without feeling like we're not all cookie cutter.

829
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:01.000
Right.

830
01:00:01.000 --> 01:00:03.560
And everybody processes grief differently.

831
01:00:03.560 --> 01:00:08.820
And maybe one day you'll feel, you know, differently, but right now you feel how you feel.

832
01:00:08.820 --> 01:00:14.160
And so just give yourself permission to process where you're at right now, that it doesn't

833
01:00:14.160 --> 01:00:19.360
have to look like the rest of your family, right?

834
01:00:19.360 --> 01:00:24.840
And if you give yourself permission and freedom to do that, then it really can, honestly,

835
01:00:24.840 --> 01:00:29.760
I think set you free in other ways where, you know, that, that feeling and that expectation

836
01:00:29.760 --> 01:00:36.640
of, you know, well, I have to feel this way because if I don't, then I'm not loving them

837
01:00:36.640 --> 01:00:37.840
well.

838
01:00:37.840 --> 01:00:41.320
And I can tell you, like, I love my dad.

839
01:00:41.320 --> 01:00:42.320
I do.

840
01:00:42.320 --> 01:00:43.320
Right.

841
01:00:43.320 --> 01:00:45.740
But I never got to know my dad.

842
01:00:45.740 --> 01:00:50.560
So I love him to the best of my ability because I love him with the love of Christ.

843
01:00:50.560 --> 01:00:58.000
I have forgiven him for the things that he did and the way that it broke our family.

844
01:00:58.000 --> 01:01:03.320
But that doesn't mean that, you know, he didn't do the things that he did, you know?

845
01:01:03.320 --> 01:01:11.200
And so even as, you know, he was starting to decline in health, I had a lot of conversations

846
01:01:11.200 --> 01:01:17.180
with my husband, a lot of conversations with the Lord about just, you know, my heart regarding

847
01:01:17.180 --> 01:01:21.660
my dad, just making sure that I had a clear heart, you know, all the things.

848
01:01:21.660 --> 01:01:23.880
And so, but it's a process.

849
01:01:23.880 --> 01:01:26.280
That's why I'm saying that it's a process.

850
01:01:26.280 --> 01:01:34.200
And so just give yourself a lot of grace, give yourself permission to grieve and heal.

851
01:01:34.200 --> 01:01:36.840
And even though it's been 10 years, you know what?

852
01:01:36.840 --> 01:01:41.280
The first several years, anytime something massively traumatic like that happens, it takes

853
01:01:41.280 --> 01:01:48.280
people a while before they can actually unpack that situation, that kind of a situation.

854
01:01:48.280 --> 01:01:53.560
And so we'll be praying for you and look forward to hearing how God kind of works in this situation

855
01:01:53.560 --> 01:01:56.520
in the days to come.

856
01:01:56.520 --> 01:02:00.520
And let's just see what it looks like and feels like for you to live inside of grace

857
01:02:00.520 --> 01:02:02.760
towards yourself regarding this.

858
01:02:02.760 --> 01:02:03.760
Yeah.

859
01:02:03.760 --> 01:02:04.760
Thank you.

860
01:02:04.760 --> 01:02:06.680
I'm sorry for your loss, Bethany.

861
01:02:06.680 --> 01:02:08.320
Oh, thank you.

862
01:02:08.320 --> 01:02:09.320
Yeah.

863
01:02:09.320 --> 01:02:10.320
Appreciate that.

864
01:02:10.360 --> 01:02:11.360
Thank you.

865
01:02:11.360 --> 01:02:12.360
God has been faithful, ladies.

866
01:02:12.360 --> 01:02:16.960
He's so good to meet us in every situation, truly, truly.

867
01:02:16.960 --> 01:02:17.960
Thank you.

868
01:02:17.960 --> 01:02:18.960
Oh, you're welcome, Brenda.

869
01:02:18.960 --> 01:02:19.960
Thank you for sharing.

870
01:02:19.960 --> 01:02:21.440
All right, ladies, we're going to make a shift.

871
01:02:21.440 --> 01:02:25.680
I want to talk about God's promises and how He cares for us.

872
01:02:25.680 --> 01:02:32.840
I want to really highlight to you all tonight to be thinking about in your life, when was

873
01:02:32.840 --> 01:02:38.320
a time that someone broke a promise to you?

874
01:02:38.320 --> 01:02:43.560
When was there a time in your life when someone broke a promise to you?

875
01:02:43.560 --> 01:02:50.920
And then not only that, but how has that or is that impacting the way you view God and

876
01:02:50.920 --> 01:02:56.960
the way that you either believe that He cares about you or you don't?

877
01:02:56.960 --> 01:03:00.520
Maybe it's both and, but I want you just to be thinking about that.

878
01:03:00.520 --> 01:03:04.840
I want to lean into that a little bit as we move forward.

879
01:03:05.360 --> 01:03:10.040
In the heartwork process, Jackie talks about this story about Candice.

880
01:03:10.040 --> 01:03:13.280
If you haven't heard the story yet, you will, so don't worry.

881
01:03:13.280 --> 01:03:18.080
But basically, Candice was someone that God knew she needed healing.

882
01:03:18.080 --> 01:03:23.060
And He put Candice on Jackie's heart and said, you know, Candice is going to be there and

883
01:03:23.060 --> 01:03:24.060
she needs healing.

884
01:03:24.060 --> 01:03:28.420
And basically, Jackie didn't know who Candice was, but God did.

885
01:03:28.420 --> 01:03:35.560
And He aligned their lives and the situations so that Candice could get healing.

886
01:03:35.560 --> 01:03:39.860
So what I want you to pull out of that tonight is this.

887
01:03:39.860 --> 01:03:41.780
God knows what you need.

888
01:03:41.780 --> 01:03:47.140
God knows where you are, and God knows how to get it to you.

889
01:03:47.140 --> 01:03:48.660
God knows what you need.

890
01:03:48.660 --> 01:03:53.660
He knows where you are, and He knows how to get you what you need, where you're at.

891
01:03:53.660 --> 01:03:56.500
Like He knows how to get it all to you.

892
01:03:56.500 --> 01:04:03.300
So many times we are afraid that we're going to miss out on stuff.

893
01:04:03.300 --> 01:04:07.100
Even tonight, I want you all just to really be fully honest with yourselves.

894
01:04:07.100 --> 01:04:12.300
Like in your life right now, is there something that you're afraid that you're going to miss

895
01:04:12.300 --> 01:04:14.540
out on it?

896
01:04:14.540 --> 01:04:20.160
Or that God's going to bless other people and not you?

897
01:04:20.160 --> 01:04:26.220
You believe, you do believe, but yet there's this lingering thing on the inside, like,

898
01:04:26.220 --> 01:04:32.140
I don't know if God's really going to do it for me.

899
01:04:32.140 --> 01:04:36.140
I want you to be asking the Lord and talking to Him about these kind of things, because

900
01:04:36.140 --> 01:04:38.180
here's the reality, ladies.

901
01:04:38.180 --> 01:04:42.780
Not only does God care about your needs, He cares about your wants.

902
01:04:42.780 --> 01:04:46.020
Yes, you heard me right.

903
01:04:46.020 --> 01:04:48.180
He cares about what you want.

904
01:04:48.180 --> 01:04:54.160
Now, the caveat to that is if you want something that's really unhealthy for you, guess what?

905
01:04:54.160 --> 01:04:56.960
He loves you enough to say no.

906
01:04:56.960 --> 01:04:57.960
Praise God.

907
01:04:57.960 --> 01:04:58.960
Y'all, I'm serious.

908
01:04:58.960 --> 01:04:59.920
I say this all the time.

909
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.960
My spiritual daughter's dad, I begged God, I begged him, please God, please get him to marry

910
01:05:06.960 --> 01:05:13.680
me. Please lead him to ask. Y'all, I pleaded for that. Praise God that I did not marry that man.

911
01:05:16.480 --> 01:05:21.280
That would have been a worse disaster than the first marriage. It already was that in the

912
01:05:22.480 --> 01:05:28.560
dating relationship that I was in. I was committed. He was never committed. Y'all,

913
01:05:28.560 --> 01:05:33.040
he was having relationships like out the wall. I mean, literally so embarrassing the number

914
01:05:33.040 --> 01:05:40.000
of women he was talking to on the side. Now, do you think that was a good thing that God said no

915
01:05:40.000 --> 01:05:46.800
to? I do. Praise God. I'm living a whole different life now. And so I want you to know when there are

916
01:05:46.800 --> 01:05:55.520
times that God says no, it's because he loves you. It's not because he's trying to hold out on you

917
01:05:55.520 --> 01:06:02.240
or trick you or lead you astray. He loves you and he's protecting you and he's providing for

918
01:06:02.240 --> 01:06:08.640
you in ways you can't even imagine. I want you to really start to understand that God is not

919
01:06:08.640 --> 01:06:16.000
only good, but he will come through for you. Missy, he will come through for you. Sylvia,

920
01:06:16.000 --> 01:06:20.800
he's going to come through for you. He's not going to leave you nor forsake you. The Bible says he

921
01:06:20.800 --> 01:06:30.240
will never leave us. So whether we experience people walking out on us in life, abandoning us,

922
01:06:30.240 --> 01:06:35.440
not showing up for us, betraying us, whatever that looked like, that is not who God is.

923
01:06:37.600 --> 01:06:42.000
Even as I was sharing with you about the sunglasses earlier in the trauma,

924
01:06:42.000 --> 01:06:47.120
these filters that we look at life through, the unforgiveness, the bitterness, the pain of the

925
01:06:47.120 --> 01:06:55.920
past, it's impacting how we're viewing God himself. Numbers 23 19 from the Message Bible

926
01:06:55.920 --> 01:07:02.160
says this, God is not a man, one given to lies and not a son of man changing his mind.

927
01:07:03.200 --> 01:07:08.560
Does he speak and not do what he says? Does he promise and not come through?

928
01:07:11.360 --> 01:07:15.760
He always comes through, ladies. He's not a liar. I'm going to put up in the group tonight

929
01:07:17.280 --> 01:07:22.160
some lyrics to the song Sparrows. I want you all to read it. I'll pin it in the top of the group.

930
01:07:23.280 --> 01:07:27.040
I'm not going to read it just because I can feel my voice starting to kind of linger a little bit

931
01:07:27.040 --> 01:07:31.920
here. Or that's not the right word, but I can tell it's starting to struggle a little bit.

932
01:07:33.200 --> 01:07:39.360
But the song Sparrows by Corey Asbury, it's very moving. If you read the lyrics, it's all about

933
01:07:39.440 --> 01:07:47.280
how God will come through for us in all of the ways he shows up and shows his love

934
01:07:47.280 --> 01:07:53.760
and takes good care of us. So I encourage you to please read that. I want you just to raise

935
01:07:53.760 --> 01:08:03.680
your hand if you relate to this statement. Why is this time any different? Anyone relate to that

936
01:08:03.680 --> 01:08:10.240
statement? Why is this time any different? Why is this even going to make a difference? I don't

937
01:08:10.240 --> 01:08:16.560
know. All these things. We have these questions swirling in our minds, and here's the answer.

938
01:08:17.359 --> 01:08:23.680
Because, ladies, you are becoming different. Every day that you show up and you're here and

939
01:08:23.680 --> 01:08:28.319
you're doing the hard work and you're changing and you're allowing God to come in and rewrite

940
01:08:28.319 --> 01:08:34.880
your story, you are becoming different than you were before. So how could you not enter into

941
01:08:34.880 --> 01:08:40.319
something new and different in the future? The enemy is so busy trying to convince you

942
01:08:40.319 --> 01:08:44.160
that you're never going to receive anything different than you've received in the past. And

943
01:08:44.160 --> 01:08:50.960
I'm here to tell you that 100% I almost wanted to marry someone that was almost

944
01:08:50.960 --> 01:08:56.880
the exact same kind of person as the first husband. But praise God, God protected me from that.

945
01:08:56.880 --> 01:09:02.319
God led me through a lot of healing. God led me to this community, and I learned how to stop

946
01:09:02.319 --> 01:09:09.760
blowing past red flags. I took ownership for my side of the street, ladies, and I stopped making

947
01:09:09.760 --> 01:09:16.000
excuses. I stopped allowing takers to come in and keep taking and taking and taking. Y'all, I'm a

948
01:09:16.000 --> 01:09:23.520
big giver, and so takers like to come and find me. You better believe I've learned how to lovingly

949
01:09:23.520 --> 01:09:31.040
say no to the takers. In this last week, I had somebody, you know, and this is someone I used to

950
01:09:31.040 --> 01:09:38.000
kind of be friends with. They're more of an acquaintance now. Life changes. Seasons change. I can't

951
01:09:38.000 --> 01:09:42.960
minister or be there on the same level for every single person that I've gotten to know over the

952
01:09:42.960 --> 01:09:50.800
last 10 years. And sometimes, ladies, we just have to just take care of ourselves. And this person

953
01:09:50.800 --> 01:09:55.680
messaged me the other day, and I was still sick. They knew I was sick. You know, I'm not upset with

954
01:09:55.680 --> 01:09:59.920
them, but they messaged me all these messages about all these needs that they had, and I

955
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:06.040
I just remember, like, I don't got energy for that.

956
01:10:06.040 --> 01:10:06.920
And you know what?

957
01:10:06.920 --> 01:10:09.640
I didn't feel bad.

958
01:10:09.640 --> 01:10:13.880
Because sometimes we just need to reserve our resources

959
01:10:13.880 --> 01:10:15.800
so that we can get better.

960
01:10:15.800 --> 01:10:18.000
And for some of you during heart work,

961
01:10:18.000 --> 01:10:19.800
that's what you need to do right now.

962
01:10:19.800 --> 01:10:22.160
You really need to be careful about who you're

963
01:10:22.160 --> 01:10:27.160
letting speak into your life and doubt this process and all

964
01:10:27.160 --> 01:10:31.240
these things and really guard this healing process.

965
01:10:31.240 --> 01:10:33.120
Because you need to conserve your energy.

966
01:10:33.120 --> 01:10:36.880
You're processing a lot in this journey.

967
01:10:36.880 --> 01:10:40.680
Heart change equals life change.

968
01:10:40.680 --> 01:10:42.920
So if your heart is changing, guess what?

969
01:10:42.920 --> 01:10:45.840
That means your life can change.

970
01:10:45.840 --> 01:10:48.280
Real and lasting change is a process, ladies.

971
01:10:48.280 --> 01:10:48.840
OK?

972
01:10:48.840 --> 01:10:51.040
So I'm not going to say it's not going to take work.

973
01:10:51.040 --> 01:10:55.320
It is real and lasting change is a process.

974
01:10:55.320 --> 01:10:59.000
But the process is absolutely worth it.

975
01:10:59.000 --> 01:11:00.800
I want to encourage you in your life

976
01:11:00.800 --> 01:11:03.880
right now to think about where do you tend

977
01:11:03.880 --> 01:11:05.800
to want to microwave culture?

978
01:11:05.800 --> 01:11:07.080
That's what I'm calling it.

979
01:11:07.080 --> 01:11:10.800
Where do you want it to be the speedy fix?

980
01:11:10.800 --> 01:11:13.000
Because that's the area you most likely

981
01:11:13.000 --> 01:11:17.400
need the Lord to come into and really help

982
01:11:17.400 --> 01:11:21.760
you understand why are you, like, expecting

983
01:11:21.760 --> 01:11:24.960
this overnight turnaround.

984
01:11:24.960 --> 01:11:28.440
When the process is what's going to actually deliver you

985
01:11:28.440 --> 01:11:31.800
and set you free.

986
01:11:31.800 --> 01:11:36.600
I'm all for being delivered and set free spontaneously.

987
01:11:36.600 --> 01:11:39.080
Y'all, that does happen sometimes.

988
01:11:39.080 --> 01:11:42.600
But I will tell you just from my own life, sincerely,

989
01:11:42.600 --> 01:11:44.920
and I'm not just saying this because I'm teaching this

990
01:11:44.920 --> 01:11:47.760
tonight, but genuinely, the times

991
01:11:47.760 --> 01:11:51.560
where I've experienced the most life transformation

992
01:11:51.560 --> 01:11:54.240
has been in the process.

993
01:11:54.240 --> 01:11:57.840
The breakthrough, the stuff where I really

994
01:11:57.840 --> 01:12:02.240
had to pray through some things and forgive some people

995
01:12:02.240 --> 01:12:03.840
and gain more wisdom and knowledge

996
01:12:03.840 --> 01:12:07.600
from the word on how to navigate things differently.

997
01:12:07.600 --> 01:12:10.800
The time you put in, again, you are your best investment.

998
01:12:10.800 --> 01:12:18.040
The time that you put in is never going to be wasted, ever.

999
01:12:18.040 --> 01:12:19.560
Continue to apply this.

1000
01:12:19.560 --> 01:12:23.480
Don't expect the instant coffee, the microwave,

1001
01:12:23.520 --> 01:12:26.400
instant situations for change.

1002
01:12:26.400 --> 01:12:28.680
Here's my last question for you before I get you

1003
01:12:28.680 --> 01:12:31.680
ready for the breakout rooms.

1004
01:12:31.680 --> 01:12:34.160
Where do you currently need an upgrade

1005
01:12:34.160 --> 01:12:38.000
in your understanding of God's care for you?

1006
01:12:38.000 --> 01:12:42.240
Not everybody else, but for you.

1007
01:12:42.240 --> 01:12:43.000
I'll read it again.

1008
01:12:43.000 --> 01:12:45.000
Where do you currently need an upgrade

1009
01:12:45.000 --> 01:12:49.720
in your understanding of God's care for you?

1010
01:12:49.720 --> 01:12:57.000
His personal care for Juanita, or Rio, or Jess.

1011
01:12:57.000 --> 01:12:58.840
I could say all of your names because He

1012
01:12:58.840 --> 01:13:01.520
cares for you personally.

1013
01:13:01.520 --> 01:13:03.640
He calls you by name.

1014
01:13:03.640 --> 01:13:07.720
Every hair on your head is numbered, not in a negative way,

1015
01:13:07.720 --> 01:13:09.880
in a loving way.

1016
01:13:09.880 --> 01:13:11.640
I want you to think about, for some of you

1017
01:13:11.640 --> 01:13:14.760
if you've never had a child or held a baby

1018
01:13:14.760 --> 01:13:17.600
and really felt that adoration and love,

1019
01:13:17.600 --> 01:13:21.160
maybe you might not fully understand what I'm saying.

1020
01:13:21.160 --> 01:13:22.920
But I want to kind of give you this example

1021
01:13:22.920 --> 01:13:26.080
because it just came into my spirit.

1022
01:13:26.080 --> 01:13:29.760
You know, when parents have a baby, a lot of times

1023
01:13:29.760 --> 01:13:32.480
when they rock them, they're looking

1024
01:13:32.480 --> 01:13:37.080
at every aspect of that baby and just so loving.

1025
01:13:37.080 --> 01:13:39.880
And they're caressing their head.

1026
01:13:39.880 --> 01:13:42.840
And they're looking at their hair and their fingers

1027
01:13:42.840 --> 01:13:48.960
and just the way God has so intricately created them.

1028
01:13:48.960 --> 01:13:53.880
And that is how God the Father feels about you.

1029
01:13:53.880 --> 01:13:56.440
Yes, I know you're full grown.

1030
01:13:56.440 --> 01:14:01.000
But He looks at you and He's like, that's my girl.

1031
01:14:01.000 --> 01:14:02.840
That's my little girl.

1032
01:14:02.840 --> 01:14:04.040
And I'm rooting for her.

1033
01:14:04.040 --> 01:14:06.760
And I'm warring on her behalf.

1034
01:14:06.760 --> 01:14:09.320
And He's got Jesus sitting at His right hand interceding

1035
01:14:09.320 --> 01:14:11.840
for you right now, for you to step

1036
01:14:11.840 --> 01:14:16.440
into the victory that's already provided for you.

1037
01:14:16.440 --> 01:14:19.520
But you all, victory truly that's already provided,

1038
01:14:19.520 --> 01:14:24.200
the way we step into it is to receive the love of the Father.

1039
01:14:24.200 --> 01:14:27.240
Jesus already made a way for us to get to the Father.

1040
01:14:30.320 --> 01:14:35.360
Some of you, I want to encourage you in this next week

1041
01:14:35.360 --> 01:14:39.280
to really ask the Lord to help you know,

1042
01:14:39.280 --> 01:14:45.160
where does the little you need cared for and loved on?

1043
01:14:45.160 --> 01:14:50.360
So the little Kim, the little girl Kim

1044
01:14:50.360 --> 01:14:52.440
that got hurt at some point along the way,

1045
01:14:52.440 --> 01:14:56.560
where, Father, where does little Kim need loved on this week?

1046
01:14:56.560 --> 01:14:57.720
And what do I mean by that?

1047
01:14:57.720 --> 01:15:01.520
I mean like you literally turning to God.

1048
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.540
Yourself as the little version of yourself and loving that little girl really well. I

1049
01:15:07.100 --> 01:15:09.980
Feel the Holy Spirit on this I'm gonna linger for a minute here

1050
01:15:14.700 --> 01:15:18.540
Some of you have not liked yourself since you were little and

1051
01:15:19.980 --> 01:15:25.580
The Lord wants you to converge back into unity with the little version of yourself

1052
01:15:26.140 --> 01:15:28.660
Because you've rejected yourself for so long

1053
01:15:30.860 --> 01:15:34.980
And he wants to show you the source of where it when did that start for you

1054
01:15:36.180 --> 01:15:42.460
When did you start, you know, even subconsciously? It's not even for some of you. It's not like you did it intentionally

1055
01:15:42.460 --> 01:15:46.220
it was the pain that you were going through it created that sever and

1056
01:15:47.100 --> 01:15:52.380
God's like I want to heal that and I want to bring that back to completeness and wholeness

1057
01:15:52.580 --> 01:15:58.800
The Bible says that God wants to make us completely whole lacking. No good thing. Oh

1058
01:16:00.020 --> 01:16:02.020
Yeah

1059
01:16:03.900 --> 01:16:08.320
What is what does it look like for Ruth as a little girl to be whole and

1060
01:16:09.660 --> 01:16:12.980
Loved on and adored by the King of Kings

1061
01:16:14.260 --> 01:16:19.260
For some of you that might be hard to imagine. I didn't have my dad hold me like that

1062
01:16:19.380 --> 01:16:23.900
My dad literally left not joking you all right after I was born

1063
01:16:24.500 --> 01:16:29.300
He came back on and off throughout my life, but I don't have a lot of memories of my dad

1064
01:16:30.260 --> 01:16:35.540
But I can tell you that I have absolutely been able to learn over these last I've been saved

1065
01:16:35.540 --> 01:16:39.740
I don't know since 1998. So however many years that's been a long time

1066
01:16:40.380 --> 01:16:45.900
so it's been a journey, but God continues to teach me about the depth of his love and

1067
01:16:46.660 --> 01:16:48.660
I know that he can teach you too

1068
01:16:49.500 --> 01:16:51.500
I'm gonna put you in your breakouts

1069
01:16:52.420 --> 01:16:57.420
Before anyone before I do that just in case if we lose people because sometimes people leave before the last breakout

1070
01:16:57.840 --> 01:17:04.840
Here are your activations for this week as you lean into really, you know that loving on the little version of yourself

1071
01:17:04.840 --> 01:17:09.200
One of the other things we're gonna do and forgiveness week as we're in a practice having fun ladies

1072
01:17:09.520 --> 01:17:14.320
Okay, so some of you have long forgotten how to have fun

1073
01:17:14.840 --> 01:17:20.760
So I want you to cultivate we're gonna call it fun sister play week. That's what I'm titling it

1074
01:17:20.760 --> 01:17:23.760
You know, it's not what we always call it, but that's what I titled it today. I

1075
01:17:24.740 --> 01:17:29.540
Want you to pray and ask the Lord what you need to do to go out and have some fun this week, you know

1076
01:17:29.540 --> 01:17:31.420
maybe it's the

1077
01:17:31.420 --> 01:17:35.820
Again, don't do something. You're not physically able to do depending on your age and all that

1078
01:17:35.940 --> 01:17:38.700
But like let's let's even consider

1079
01:17:39.060 --> 01:17:42.220
Some of you need to go do some things that you used to do when you're a kid

1080
01:17:42.300 --> 01:17:48.420
Go ride a bike go climb a tree go down a slide, you know, go on a jungle gym go ride a carousel

1081
01:17:48.420 --> 01:17:53.260
I don't know like whatever God is leading you. Yeah, go on a swing, you know

1082
01:17:53.260 --> 01:17:55.340
I even said earlier today like

1083
01:17:56.020 --> 01:18:02.620
Maybe have a bunch of girlfriends over and and have a party and have fun and paint nails if you're not into that do something

1084
01:18:02.620 --> 01:18:05.400
Else, but I'm just throwing a bunch of ideas out there for you

1085
01:18:05.400 --> 01:18:12.180
I did bring up the movie 13 going on 30 this afternoon and I want to mention again just because it's you know

1086
01:18:12.180 --> 01:18:17.860
there is some scenes in there ladies just fast-forward it, but if you want a kind of movie where

1087
01:18:18.860 --> 01:18:25.100
There's this scene and this is what why I came up in my spirit this afternoon where she's an adult woman

1088
01:18:25.100 --> 01:18:31.500
but she's surrounded by all these teenage girls and they're singing Pat Benatar and they're on the bed and they're all dressed up and

1089
01:18:31.500 --> 01:18:36.520
You know, the girls got the bras on the outside of the shirt and it's just this really fun scene

1090
01:18:36.520 --> 01:18:39.420
and it's like literally one of my favorite movie scenes and

1091
01:18:39.900 --> 01:18:43.900
Here's why because they're having fun in the movie

1092
01:18:43.900 --> 01:18:50.020
it looks so fun and I just it makes me think back to when I was a like a young girl and and just

1093
01:18:50.540 --> 01:18:55.660
laughed and caught up and all the things that life and trauma and

1094
01:18:56.020 --> 01:18:59.740
Whatnot try to take away from us. And so this week cultivate fun

1095
01:19:00.780 --> 01:19:05.540
Cultivate fun and then also the second activation is to do a post about the forgiveness

1096
01:19:05.720 --> 01:19:07.380
Who are you gonna forgive this week?

1097
01:19:07.380 --> 01:19:11.020
And why I want you guys to come into the group and tell us who you're forgiving this week

1098
01:19:11.300 --> 01:19:15.700
Some of you shared on the live session, that's awesome for those of you that didn't share

1099
01:19:15.700 --> 01:19:21.140
Um, you know, I want to encourage you to come into the group and share. Here's your question for breakout

1100
01:19:22.380 --> 01:19:27.860
When was a time someone broke a promise they made to you and how is that still affecting you today?

1101
01:19:29.580 --> 01:19:30.860
Okay

1102
01:19:30.860 --> 01:19:36.500
When was a time someone broke a promise they made to you and how is that still affecting you today?

1103
01:19:36.500 --> 01:19:40.580
And I will tell you I saw Pat that you said it took a while for

1104
01:19:40.860 --> 01:19:44.700
You to get in there if you all don't have a strong internet connection

1105
01:19:45.260 --> 01:19:50.700
Unfortunately, it will take you longer to get into the zoom room. So that is typically

1106
01:19:51.460 --> 01:19:53.900
On your end of things when that happens

1107
01:19:53.900 --> 01:19:59.260
So just so y'all know if that does happen just do your best to get in there as soon as you can

1108
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:02.760
and make the best of it.

1109
01:20:02.760 --> 01:20:04.520
All right, I'm gonna give you all,

1110
01:20:04.520 --> 01:20:05.960
let's see here, we're at 9.20.

1111
01:20:05.960 --> 01:20:07.620
I'll give you all five minutes.

1112
01:20:08.840 --> 01:20:10.760
I recreated the rooms, there you go.

1113
01:20:10.760 --> 01:20:12.320
Go ahead and click to join those.

1114
01:20:12.320 --> 01:20:15.440
The quicker you click, the quicker you'll get in there.

1115
01:20:20.320 --> 01:20:22.480
Okay, go ahead and click to join those.

1116
01:20:27.220 --> 01:20:29.520
Oh, that's totally fine if some of you all

1117
01:20:30.060 --> 01:20:31.920
have to head out, totally understand.

1118
01:20:34.120 --> 01:20:35.820
All right, I think we've got,

1119
01:20:39.420 --> 01:20:42.800
yeah, Pat's kind of, okay, there she goes.

1120
01:20:42.800 --> 01:20:45.720
All right, Maria, are you hanging out here?

1121
01:20:45.720 --> 01:20:47.240
Okay, that's totally fine.

1122
01:20:47.240 --> 01:20:49.520
Yeah, you can stay here, I'm just gonna pray.

1123
01:20:49.520 --> 01:20:51.560
I'm gonna do my best to pray while they're in there.

1124
01:20:51.560 --> 01:20:54.920
I'm, with this, I'm not sure, so give me a sec here.

1125
01:21:00.520 --> 01:21:04.040
Father, thank you so much for everything you're doing

1126
01:21:04.040 --> 01:21:06.840
in the lives and hearts of the ladies here tonight,

1127
01:21:06.840 --> 01:21:09.400
as well as those that are watching the replay

1128
01:21:09.400 --> 01:21:10.880
in this group.

1129
01:21:10.880 --> 01:21:14.240
God, we thank you that you're reminding us

1130
01:21:14.240 --> 01:21:16.920
of your goodness, God, that you are faithful,

1131
01:21:16.920 --> 01:21:18.880
that you are kind, that you're working

1132
01:21:18.880 --> 01:21:21.120
in every one of our lives and situations

1133
01:21:21.120 --> 01:21:23.560
and ways that we can't even understand

1134
01:21:23.560 --> 01:21:25.800
and comprehend right now.

1135
01:21:25.800 --> 01:21:29.600
So Lord, I pray that you would remove barriers,

1136
01:21:29.600 --> 01:21:32.100
remove obstacles from our hearts, our minds,

1137
01:21:32.100 --> 01:21:33.740
our spirits, our souls.

1138
01:21:35.520 --> 01:21:38.080
Yeah, Lord, that you would close any open door

1139
01:21:39.660 --> 01:21:43.240
from wounds of the past, open doors to the enemy

1140
01:21:43.240 --> 01:21:46.800
where we don't even understand that he has authority

1141
01:21:46.800 --> 01:21:50.080
in areas of our lives because we're believing lies.

1142
01:21:50.080 --> 01:21:53.060
So we thank you, God, that you would reveal lies to us

1143
01:21:53.100 --> 01:21:56.780
that we're believing so that we can cast those lies

1144
01:21:56.780 --> 01:22:00.140
and those thoughts down and choose rather to believe

1145
01:22:00.140 --> 01:22:02.340
what your word says about us, Lord.

1146
01:22:03.180 --> 01:22:05.340
We thank you that you would, yeah, Lord,

1147
01:22:05.340 --> 01:22:08.900
just anoint our ears to hear what your spirit is saying.

1148
01:22:08.900 --> 01:22:11.180
Your word declares that your sheep hear your voice

1149
01:22:11.180 --> 01:22:13.660
and we will always obey what you tell us to do.

1150
01:22:13.660 --> 01:22:15.940
So Lord, we thank you that we will obey

1151
01:22:17.660 --> 01:22:19.640
your command to forgive.

1152
01:22:19.640 --> 01:22:22.560
We will obey your command to love.

1153
01:22:22.560 --> 01:22:24.200
First and foremost, ourselves,

1154
01:22:24.200 --> 01:22:25.560
as well as loving our neighbors.

1155
01:22:25.560 --> 01:22:29.560
We thank you that Isaiah 66, nine says,

1156
01:22:29.560 --> 01:22:32.400
I will not cause pain without allowing something new

1157
01:22:32.400 --> 01:22:34.960
to be born, says the Lord.

1158
01:22:34.960 --> 01:22:37.840
God, I thank you that you're making all things new, God,

1159
01:22:37.840 --> 01:22:40.960
that you're taking all of the past pain

1160
01:22:40.960 --> 01:22:42.640
and the things that we've gone through

1161
01:22:42.640 --> 01:22:44.800
and you're working them all together for good, God.

1162
01:22:44.800 --> 01:22:48.660
And we thank you that you are bringing new streams

1163
01:22:48.660 --> 01:22:51.920
and rivers where there's been wastelands and deserts, God,

1164
01:22:52.280 --> 01:22:55.200
that you are literally coming and paving a new way

1165
01:22:55.200 --> 01:22:57.160
in our hearts and our spirits and our souls

1166
01:22:57.160 --> 01:22:59.980
to receive everything that you have for us, Lord.

1167
01:22:59.980 --> 01:23:03.800
We thank you that we don't have to fear or be afraid,

1168
01:23:03.800 --> 01:23:06.680
that we can walk in a spirit of love and of power

1169
01:23:06.680 --> 01:23:11.680
and of a sound mind, that we can lay aside the anxiety

1170
01:23:11.840 --> 01:23:15.160
and anxious thoughts that the enemy tries to feed us

1171
01:23:15.160 --> 01:23:17.640
and step into your faith, to step into your truth,

1172
01:23:17.640 --> 01:23:20.920
to step into your anointing and your hope in your life.

1173
01:23:20.920 --> 01:23:24.400
We thank you, Lord, that Luke 8, 17 through 19 says,

1174
01:23:24.400 --> 01:23:27.080
because this revelation lamp now shines within you,

1175
01:23:27.080 --> 01:23:29.040
nothing will be hidden from you.

1176
01:23:29.040 --> 01:23:31.120
It will all be revealed.

1177
01:23:31.120 --> 01:23:33.480
Every secret of the kingdom will be unveiled

1178
01:23:33.480 --> 01:23:37.000
and out in the open made known by the revelation light.

1179
01:23:37.000 --> 01:23:38.800
So pay careful attention to your hearts

1180
01:23:38.800 --> 01:23:40.520
as you hear my teaching,

1181
01:23:40.520 --> 01:23:42.600
for to those who have open hearts,

1182
01:23:42.600 --> 01:23:45.800
even more revelation will be given to them

1183
01:23:45.800 --> 01:23:47.320
until it overflows.

1184
01:23:48.280 --> 01:23:51.520
So Lord, we thank you that you would continue

1185
01:23:51.520 --> 01:23:55.680
to give us more and more and more revelation from heaven.

1186
01:23:55.680 --> 01:23:58.160
God, that it would come in so much

1187
01:23:58.160 --> 01:24:00.560
that it would start to overflow out of our hearts,

1188
01:24:00.560 --> 01:24:03.200
that our hearts would be filled with your goodness,

1189
01:24:03.200 --> 01:24:05.020
your grace, your truth.

1190
01:24:05.020 --> 01:24:08.160
We would think on things that are pure, noble,

1191
01:24:08.160 --> 01:24:09.400
lovely of good report,

1192
01:24:09.400 --> 01:24:11.800
things that are above only and not beneath.

1193
01:24:11.800 --> 01:24:14.400
God, that we would have the mind of Christ

1194
01:24:15.240 --> 01:24:18.600
and we would literally cause our minds and our spirits

1195
01:24:18.600 --> 01:24:22.280
and our souls to come into submission to your truth.

1196
01:24:22.280 --> 01:24:25.060
Psalm 1, 3 says he will be standing firm

1197
01:24:25.060 --> 01:24:29.000
like a flourishing tree planted by God's design,

1198
01:24:29.960 --> 01:24:32.840
deeply rooted by the brooks of bliss,

1199
01:24:32.840 --> 01:24:36.240
bearing fruit in every season of his life.

1200
01:24:36.240 --> 01:24:39.520
He is never dry, never fainting,

1201
01:24:39.520 --> 01:24:41.560
ever blessed, ever prosperous.

1202
01:24:41.560 --> 01:24:44.560
God, I thank you that your word declares

1203
01:24:44.560 --> 01:24:47.960
that we can be full of life in every season,

1204
01:24:47.960 --> 01:24:51.880
that you will make us like a firm flourishing tree,

1205
01:24:51.880 --> 01:24:55.260
that we will be deeply rooted in the brooks of bliss.

1206
01:24:55.260 --> 01:24:57.160
Ladies, that's peace.

1207
01:24:57.160 --> 01:25:00.160
Bliss is a state of peace of mind, a peace.

1208
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:06.320
of heart where we thank you that you would continue to help us to yeah Lord just step

1209
01:25:06.320 --> 01:25:11.800
into the river of cleansing and renewal God that we would not believe the lies of the

1210
01:25:11.800 --> 01:25:18.880
enemy about our life anymore that we would just continue to I just keep thinking there's

1211
01:25:18.880 --> 01:25:23.080
this old song about getting to the river and the dance in the river or something like that

1212
01:25:23.080 --> 01:25:29.440
it was years ago but it was all about just basking in the Holy Spirit in the presence

1213
01:25:29.440 --> 01:25:35.240
of the Lord and really allowing the river of life from heaven to flow into us and really

1214
01:25:35.240 --> 01:25:41.400
transform us from the inside out and so I want to encourage you to really lean into

1215
01:25:41.400 --> 01:25:46.720
the healing water that's flowing from heaven for every one of us that God wants to make

1216
01:25:46.720 --> 01:25:52.400
all things new he wants to wipe the slate clean and it just made me think about even

1217
01:25:52.400 --> 01:25:57.240
the scripture that talks about how he takes all the crimson red scarlet the sin in our

1218
01:25:57.240 --> 01:26:01.720
lives and you can make it white as snow and and remove those things as far as the East

1219
01:26:01.720 --> 01:26:07.160
is from the West that he doesn't even remember them anymore as soon as we repent of those

1220
01:26:07.160 --> 01:26:13.320
things and so praise God we can step into the fullness of his plan for our life in every

1221
01:26:13.320 --> 01:26:20.040
area and there's just so much more for us in the days ahead welcome back ladies we probably

1222
01:26:20.040 --> 01:26:25.400
have time for one or two depending on how how long the shares are is there anyone that

1223
01:26:25.400 --> 01:26:29.480
is willing to share with everyone what you shared in your breakup if you haven't let's

1224
01:26:29.480 --> 01:26:36.800
use someone who hasn't shared already preferably how do you process a hope deferred type situation

1225
01:26:36.800 --> 01:26:43.520
when somebody tells you for 36 years that they're going to do something and then they

1226
01:26:43.520 --> 01:26:52.320
never do and that just kind of leaves you not believing people keep they're going to

1227
01:26:52.320 --> 01:26:59.840
keep their word uh myself and the lady i was meeting with both had similar situations where

1228
01:26:59.840 --> 01:27:04.160
we don't really you know people say they're going to do something and we don't really believe them

1229
01:27:04.160 --> 01:27:11.120
until we see it well yeah i mean i i would actually say that's i think we should wait

1230
01:27:11.120 --> 01:27:16.160
for someone to show us that they're trustworthy not in a skeptical suspicious way believing that

1231
01:27:16.160 --> 01:27:22.400
everyone's a liar but i think that if we have learned from our previous situations like even

1232
01:27:22.400 --> 01:27:28.240
for for my example you know while it wasn't 30 years or i forget how many years you said there

1233
01:27:29.040 --> 01:27:33.520
six years the girl's dad showed me over and over and over again he wasn't an honorable man

1234
01:27:34.320 --> 01:27:37.840
over and over he showed me that but i kept believing he was going to change and then he

1235
01:27:37.840 --> 01:27:46.000
kept showing me through his actions that he was not going to change so at some point it's up to me

1236
01:27:46.000 --> 01:27:52.800
to look at why am i going back to the same thing expecting something different can bitter

1237
01:27:54.640 --> 01:28:02.720
and and good water come from the same spout the bible says it can't so i would say that

1238
01:28:03.680 --> 01:28:09.280
um hope deferred makes the heart sick but a tree of life if you look at the rest of that scripture

1239
01:28:09.280 --> 01:28:15.280
the things that bring life can change everything so maybe that person isn't going to change but

1240
01:28:15.280 --> 01:28:19.280
maybe there's someone else in your life that absolutely would be willing to be teachable

1241
01:28:19.280 --> 01:28:24.320
and change so let's look for those people and let's let's spend some time investing in those

1242
01:28:24.320 --> 01:28:31.280
relationships you know super important ladies how we posture ourselves regarding what we go through

1243
01:28:31.280 --> 01:28:35.360
it's terrible i'm so sorry to hear that someone hasn't kept their word to you for that long

1244
01:28:35.360 --> 01:28:41.600
but let's let's let's move into some healthy relationships and start looking forward honest

1245
01:28:41.600 --> 01:28:47.120
to goodness i think that's my best advice for you in that situation laura great question uh okay

1246
01:28:48.080 --> 01:28:55.120
tell me how you say your name is it yinky joy is that right yeah but i just called you call me

1247
01:28:55.120 --> 01:29:05.360
joy it's good i mean yeah i was sharing with sister and uh it's kind of one um okay i want

1248
01:29:05.360 --> 01:29:13.360
to make try to make sure my parents i have not seen my parents over 20 some years now close to

1249
01:29:13.360 --> 01:29:20.640
30 years now i'm in america they're in china so i actually so i broke the promise i said to my

1250
01:29:20.640 --> 01:29:28.880
parents i because i tried i tried to um encourage my own self and build on my own face i was going

1251
01:29:28.880 --> 01:29:35.120
back to see them unite with them so i prophesied and say a purpose to myself and meanwhile i told

1252
01:29:35.120 --> 01:29:42.000
them i will go back this year this year i said this over and over for several years but actually

1253
01:29:42.000 --> 01:29:49.040
god did not give me the green light because god wanted oh god wanted to protect me because of my

1254
01:29:49.040 --> 01:29:55.840
childhood trauma and also said other things so actually i did not go back so my mother already

1255
01:29:55.840 --> 01:29:59.920
passed away my my brother already passed away so but uh i just say

1256
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:07.280
that I broke the promise. That's why my stepfather still can't disappoint about me and probably,

1257
01:30:07.280 --> 01:30:13.600
you know, holding grudge towards me. Disappointment said something negative words about me.

1258
01:30:15.680 --> 01:30:24.000
So myself, actually, I still in the process of healing mentally and physically and self-image.

1259
01:30:24.000 --> 01:30:31.040
And I could be very wise, very smart sometimes, but sometimes I could be, you know,

1260
01:30:31.600 --> 01:30:39.280
the trauma syndrome or whatever. So sometimes I need healing. Right now I'm experiencing

1261
01:30:40.080 --> 01:30:48.720
inflammation in my head and headache, but I know it's because of years of stress and

1262
01:30:48.720 --> 01:30:57.840
the trauma did not take care of the healing. So, but I thank God, I, in this community, I really

1263
01:30:59.680 --> 01:31:07.040
so, so grateful and so appreciated because when you say something, you really touch my heart. I

1264
01:31:07.040 --> 01:31:11.760
was, I was tears coming out of my eyes. When I heard that God will come through me,

1265
01:31:12.240 --> 01:31:18.320
um, over and over, I wrote on my notebook and over and over to myself, God, you will come through me.

1266
01:31:18.880 --> 01:31:26.080
I, I had a first marriage and he mentally and physically abused me. So, uh, cursed me a lot,

1267
01:31:26.080 --> 01:31:32.880
but I, I did a lot of work for, I went to the, um, to work and make a lot of money.

1268
01:31:32.880 --> 01:31:40.960
And he supported me to go to college and he was successful. Um, but just a lot of things.

1269
01:31:40.960 --> 01:31:47.760
So I don't want to say, and I'll compare all the people's time. So, yeah, you did great joy. Thank

1270
01:31:47.760 --> 01:31:52.800
you for sharing that ladies in the, in this situation, joy, I want to encourage you to

1271
01:31:52.800 --> 01:31:57.760
forgive yourself for breaking the promise to go visit your parents. Okay. So I want, I want you

1272
01:31:57.760 --> 01:32:03.200
to do a forgiveness sheet about that because that kind of, that's where you started. Now,

1273
01:32:03.280 --> 01:32:09.120
in addition to that, I want you all to know that, um,

1274
01:32:11.040 --> 01:32:17.840
it is important for our yes to be yes and our no to be no. And that's not to cause shame for anyone

1275
01:32:17.840 --> 01:32:23.040
because I've done something before. It's very similar where I've said, Hey, I'll come and visit

1276
01:32:23.040 --> 01:32:28.800
you or I'll do whatever. And then I didn't do it. And, and the Lord started talking to me about that

1277
01:32:28.800 --> 01:32:34.960
years ago about, you know, really leaning into the importance of my word and people believing

1278
01:32:34.960 --> 01:32:42.640
what I say. And so it's okay for us to just be honest and, and, and say, Hey, I'm healing right

1279
01:32:42.640 --> 01:32:46.960
now from some of the things that I went through growing up. And you might not be able to, depending

1280
01:32:46.960 --> 01:32:52.480
on how your parents or the person that this situation would be with, but just be honest

1281
01:32:52.480 --> 01:32:56.560
and say, I'm not going to come visit at this time, but I do love you.

1282
01:32:58.240 --> 01:33:06.560
And, and really be willing to allow the relationship to grow through that if it's

1283
01:33:06.560 --> 01:33:13.280
possible. And if it's not possible in this season, in this time, just be okay with where you're at.

1284
01:33:14.640 --> 01:33:20.400
Okay. I do believe in reconciliation and restoration, but it can't be forced. And

1285
01:33:20.400 --> 01:33:27.120
sometimes the process for those things takes way longer than, you know, that immediate. And so joy,

1286
01:33:27.120 --> 01:33:31.360
just want to encourage you just to give yourself a lot of grace as you continue to heal. Sounds

1287
01:33:31.360 --> 01:33:35.760
like you're doing a great job. You know, you're here. I know that you were saying you've done

1288
01:33:35.760 --> 01:33:40.480
some other healing work. I want to encourage you to, you know, like I said, forgive yourself for

1289
01:33:40.480 --> 01:33:45.520
breaking that promise in the past, but release yourself from that just, and don't keep like for

1290
01:33:45.520 --> 01:33:49.760
all of us. Don't let, let us not tell people, Hey, I'm going to go do this, or I'm going to

1291
01:33:49.760 --> 01:33:54.000
go do that. And then not follow through on our word. It's better for us to just be honest and

1292
01:33:54.000 --> 01:34:00.640
say, Hey, I love you, but I can't do that in this season. Right. Yeah. And they don't have

1293
01:34:00.640 --> 01:34:07.040
to understand. We don't have to over-explain ourselves ladies. Okay. We can, in a kind way,

1294
01:34:07.040 --> 01:34:13.200
just, just say, Hey, in this season, I'm, I'm just not able to do that and let that be enough.

1295
01:34:14.160 --> 01:34:20.320
Yeah. Yeah. Well, this has been an awesome night ladies. It's been so good to be back with you all.

1296
01:34:20.320 --> 01:34:25.600
I love being here on Mondays with you and being in the group. I've been seeing some awesome

1297
01:34:25.600 --> 01:34:31.280
testimonies of what God is doing in your lives. It like literally makes my day when I see your post.

1298
01:34:31.920 --> 01:34:37.680
So I encourage you come into the group. If you haven't posted yet, come in and post,

1299
01:34:37.680 --> 01:34:42.640
get let, let the ladies get to know you show up because you're showing up for yourself.

1300
01:34:42.720 --> 01:34:46.400
Ultimately, that's who you're showing up for. So love you all. We'll see you in the

1301
01:34:46.400 --> 01:34:51.600
group and I hope you have an amazing night. God bless you. Bye.