WEBVTT

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All right. Welcome, ladies. This is your Phase 2, 1 o'clock live check-in. I'm Carla Johnson.

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I'm one of your coaches here in Phase 2 at Last Year Single. It's always such an honor

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and pleasure for me to be here because I am a student of Last Year Single, if you will.

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So I'm a success story. I joined Jackie at the start of it all, pretty much in the end

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of September, beginning of October of 2020. And so after what seems like forever, over

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two years, my husband did drop into my DMs and I met my husband. So we've been married

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now about a year and a half. And so, and then I've been coaching now with Jackie for

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over, been over a year, maybe even a year and a half. I can't even remember. Time just

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flies. But like I said, it's always such an honor to be here because all of the wisdom,

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all of the knowledge, all of the hope and the faith that my life was blessed by through

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this program. I love that I get to pour it back in as well. So yes, that's how I met

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him, Perla. Also, when y'all do graduate to Phase 3, go in the replays this March. And

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when you go in the March replays for Phase 3, we do a thing called Love Story in Phase

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3 at times. And so Jackie and the team will bring on people in the, like people from our

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program that have stepped into their love stories. And then the both couples come in

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and talk about their love story. So my husband and I actually did that last Thursday with

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two other couples in the program. And it was really cool. So if you want, you know, you

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get actually more of my husband's feedback in that, which was really a blessing to me.

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It's always good to be able to hear like the men's side. So I did my very best to like

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limit my talking and all of you that have been with me in Phase 2 know I'm a talker.

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So yeah, when you graduate to Phase 3, you can even hear a little bit more on that. So

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something to kind of look forward to when you ladies graduate from Phase 2 into Phase

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3. Speaking of which, let's just go ahead and go into our housekeeping. And because

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I'm going to touch on that a little bit. So tonight, there is no eight o'clock check-in

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for Phase 2. So Ebony, she, wait, hold on. Okay. Yeah. Sorry. I got very distracted there

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if you could tell. Okay, let me start over. So yeah, Phase 3, it has a live loveseat session

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with Jackie tonight. And so she wants to invite you all in Phase 2 to that special

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Phase 3 session as a sneak peek. So there is no eight o'clock tonight with Ebony. So

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please, please, please go over. The link is already in the calendar and the events tab.

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So you have all the info that you need to jump on that Phase 3 loveseat with Jackie

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to check that out. Excuse me. So yeah, how do you get to Phase 3? So we get that question

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often. Basically, you're going to be in Phase 2. So those of you that are new, my girl Lulu

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here, she's brand new to Phase 2. I think there's one or two other people that I don't recognize.

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I'm new here too. Yes, Stacy. Thank you. And thank you for turning your camera on. It's so

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good to see you. So yeah, those of you that are brand new to Phase 2, just to kind of give you

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a little rundown of what this will look like. There are five videos. So you will watch in the

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coursework. So you're going to want to watch at least one video a week. Okay. We really

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want to make sure that you paste those videos out. Don't like firehose yourself with all of them.

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Do one a week, process it, pray about it, meditate on it, pull things that like is speaking to you

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to put into practice, and then share it with us here in the app that last year's single.

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What ahas did you have? What takeaways did you have? And so make sure you watch those. So if

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you're watching one of those a week, you will be here at least four to five weeks in Phase 2.

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So when you've watched and completed all of those videos, and we do want you showing up at least

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to one or two of these live check-ins, then you will email us.

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admin at JackieDorman.com to request access to phase three.

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Okay, so those five videos, okay, so the fifth video.

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So you're only seeing four videos in your course.

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Okay, I'll have to go double check that.

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What you should see is you should see

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the Love Story Accelerator kickoff.

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So that's like kind of an introduction to phase two.

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And then we have those four teaching videos,

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which is gonna be Dating 101,

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Divine Feminine, which is like my absolute favorite video.

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Then there's Online Dating.

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So those of you that get really hesitant

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about going back into online dating,

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definitely watch that one, okay.

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Even if you don't, you're like,

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no, I'm not gonna do online dating, still watch it.

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Don't skip it, all right.

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I know sometimes there's people who wanna sneak through

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and like, I'm not watching that

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because I'm not doing online dating.

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There's some really good information

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that one of our old coaches, Renee,

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teaches that really, really good.

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And then the last one is the Boundaries.

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And that's, again, a really good video.

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And then we do touch on that a lot in dating

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and help you ladies distinguish

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what are good, healthy boundaries.

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And then we wanna make sure

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that you don't have all the walls up,

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but we also wanna make sure

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that you got a gate around your yard, okay.

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So there's some people that like,

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they have so many boundaries,

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but they've got too many that, you know,

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the thieves have to scale the wall.

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And then there's some people

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that have no boundaries whatsoever.

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And then that's when it can get really, you know, toxic

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and you can start letting people in

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that really don't need to have access to you, okay.

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So we really do kind of figure that out

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in phase two as well, okay.

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All right, I'm trying to catch up on all of these questions.

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Sort of feels overwhelming.

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Okay, Stephanie, what is feeling overwhelming?

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It's just a lot.

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I went, I mean, I went through and kind of,

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can you hear me okay?

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Yeah, I can hear you fine.

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I did my online profile and I like went live with it.

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And like, you know, it's a Facebook dating

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and so they make you like, yes or no.

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And I'm like, I don't know.

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Like none of them, I was absolutely like,

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I like two that sort of were like indicated

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that they like Jesus in their profile.

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So then I was like, okay, great.

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Those two, but then like, but I don't know.

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But then I, you know, I'm trying to implement the advice

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of like, don't be, don't like, you know what I mean?

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But the thing is for me like-

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You're saying that the online dating feels overwhelming.

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Okay, I just wanna-

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Well, I just have so many messages.

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Well, let's, we can get to that

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when I open up the floor for questions.

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I was just wanting to make sure

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that you didn't feel overwhelmed

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with the phase two coursework.

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So that's where, okay.

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Sorry.

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I was like, oh no,

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I don't want you feeling overwhelmed with that.

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Okay, got you.

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Awesome, okay.

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Okay, so you forgot the love story accelerator, Melissa.

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Okay, perfect, glad we found that.

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Awesome, awesome, awesome.

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Okay, so hopefully that gives you ladies just again,

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the kind of refocus what phase two is all about.

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And again, you'll be here four to five weeks

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once you've watched all those videos,

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once you've, you know, come to some lines

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and then you can request phase three.

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Okay, now I know some people take a little more time

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to get through phase two, which is totally fine.

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Okay, we just don't want you sitting in the mama bird nest

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for like more than three months, okay?

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We are gonna eventually kick you out, okay?

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But no, no, we really, we're not gonna force you out,

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but we will kind of walk you through

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what that process looks like, okay?

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So we wanna keep you in that forward motion, okay?

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And I know myself and Ebony, we're just so wonderful,

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like you never wanna leave us, but no.

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Yeah, so we don't want you missing out of phase three.

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Obviously, I've shared this before with some of you ladies,

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like it does make me a little sad

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when I see my ladies from phase two go to phase three

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because I enjoy y'all so much,

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but I do still get to see y'all on phase three,

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but that's the part of the process,

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like we want you learning and growing and moving forward,

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so that's kind of the whole part of it, okay?

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Okay, so I'm running,

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I'm kind of taking too long on this housekeeping.

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So let me move through here.

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Definitely, I just wanna make sure I don't miss anything.

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So those of you that are new to phase one,

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this is not really gonna,

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like it's not gonna make sense to you.

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Those of you that have been in phase two for a little bit,

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longer. We were doing things differently on these calls so we were really

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spending more time of opening it up as a more ask a coach type situation so we're

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not going to spend a lot of time at the beginning of our time together on

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Tuesdays doing a whole lot of teaching. What will happen now instead of teaching

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from each of the videos each week we're gonna just kind of touch on a few things

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that we see in the app through your all you know ask a coach through the roll

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call. I might touch on a few things that I'm noticing to kind of do an overview

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and so that we can kind of button things up and I can answer questions from the

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app and then we're gonna spend majority of the time with y'all's questions. Okay

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so come to these Tuesday calls ready to ask question. What I will say is because

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we have to really keep things on time and I know this can be a challenge

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partly because I struggle with the timekeeping. We have to make sure that we

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come prepared with those questions and we're really short in getting to what

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our question is. Okay so like 90 seconds all right when it's your turn to ask a

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question 90 seconds or less Jackie always says keep it short brief and

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powerful so that we can get through as many questions as possible because I got

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very clear instructions from Jackie two weekends ago when I went down my husband

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I went down to go visit with her in Austin and she's like girl you can't be

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spending like an hour and a half to two hours on the call she's like we got to

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keep it at 75 minutes okay so in order to do that and make sure that everybody

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has time for their questions we have to be really clear and concise with that

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okay and I know it's a growing process okay I have to learn how to get better

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at as well so I'm gonna ask that you all help me out when you get to your

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questions okay okay so I'm gonna get again I'm gonna kind of touch on some

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of these questions thank you Melissa for answering Katie's question yes you don't

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have to be in a dating relationship to get to phase three okay we liked you

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for you to have at least maybe one or two date under your belt before getting

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to phase three but you don't have to do all of your seven dates in phase two

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honestly most of you probably shouldn't have seven dates by the time you get to

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phase three I'm not saying that you can't but if you're if you're pacing it

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well and you're in here for four to five weeks we don't want you having seven

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dates in four or five weeks that's a lot okay and it's okay if you have okay

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don't like again we say have guardrails there's no hard rules here okay this is

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all everybody's on their own journey okay so just keep that in mind all right

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so ladies if you do have questions go ahead and put your hands up so I get an

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idea of how many we've got and while we're doing that I'm gonna kind of touch

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on a few things that I saw in the app so I want to celebrate I don't know if

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Aubrey's here is Aubrey here today I know she was with me last week do I have

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her I don't think I see her okay well your girl Aubrey ladies I want to

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celebrate her for a minute because she had a great date she shared that with

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us in the app and it was with the guy that was shorter than her she wasn't

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sure she wants to date someone that she's tall okay and so we always say

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like hey let's let's have some non-negotiables let's not have some

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hards never will I ever never will I ever get someone shorter than me okay so

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she took that advice and she's like okay I'm gonna I'm gonna go on a date

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with this guy she had a really great time and there's I'm still waiting to

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hear if there is a potential second date mini-golf he suggested that so so yeah

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I'm super excited for her so and I want to even touch on those active dates so

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the guy asked her to mini-golf and so I think that's important to also bring up

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ladies when you go on these dates get some active dates in okay Jackie is

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someone that she doesn't like the coffee date and the dinner dates and stuff I

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get it sometimes it's impossible not to just have a quick coffee date so just

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know you might hear Jackie say like don't do the coffee date and then you

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know we sometimes are like hey go grab coffee with them so sometimes it kind of

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sounds like well which one am I supposed to do um the reason for those

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active dates is it kind of helps you let your guard down or the

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those coffee dates and those dinner dates

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can kind of turn into more of an interview.

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And so that's Jackie's perspective is,

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you don't wanna have the interview stuff.

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I get it.

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Like, it happens.

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Like, when you're dating,

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like, you're trying to get to know someone,

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so a lot of questions come.

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So if you can suggest active dates, definitely do that.

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Don't feel like you're doing it wrong

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if you're going on a coffee date or a dinner date

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or a lunch date or breakfast date, okay?

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But try to throw some active dates in,

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kind of drop suggestions there.

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Someone brought up dating sites in the app.

230
00:15:39.080 --> 00:15:40.480
So some that I did,

231
00:15:40.480 --> 00:15:45.480
I found Facebook dating to be the most fruitful for me.

232
00:15:46.520 --> 00:15:49.040
I know Bethany did that.

233
00:15:49.040 --> 00:15:52.280
I think Ebony does Facebook dating.

234
00:15:52.280 --> 00:15:55.760
Our old coach Renee, she did Facebook dating.

235
00:15:56.440 --> 00:16:01.440
Like I said, I met a lot of really great guys on that.

236
00:16:03.800 --> 00:16:06.800
You kind of still have to kind of filter through

237
00:16:06.800 --> 00:16:09.480
some of the not so great ones,

238
00:16:09.480 --> 00:16:11.920
but you're gonna have that really with any app.

239
00:16:11.920 --> 00:16:12.920
I know a lot of people are like,

240
00:16:12.920 --> 00:16:15.200
but I want a Christian.

241
00:16:15.200 --> 00:16:17.440
I wanna be on the Christian dating site.

242
00:16:17.440 --> 00:16:19.880
I mean, the way I look at it is,

243
00:16:19.880 --> 00:16:21.400
there's Christians everywhere.

244
00:16:21.400 --> 00:16:22.440
I mean, you're walking on,

245
00:16:22.440 --> 00:16:24.040
you know, you're in the grocery store.

246
00:16:24.040 --> 00:16:26.040
There's Christians at the grocery store.

247
00:16:26.040 --> 00:16:28.720
You know, all different apps are gonna have,

248
00:16:28.720 --> 00:16:31.200
you know, all sorts of people.

249
00:16:31.200 --> 00:16:34.840
So what I will say is just because it's a Christian app

250
00:16:34.840 --> 00:16:37.200
doesn't necessarily mean that someone

251
00:16:37.200 --> 00:16:39.800
really has a relationship with the Lord either.

252
00:16:39.800 --> 00:16:42.840
So just again, follow peace.

253
00:16:42.840 --> 00:16:44.240
What do you have peace about?

254
00:16:44.240 --> 00:16:49.240
What app is being highlighted to you?

255
00:16:49.720 --> 00:16:53.680
You know, give one, two different apps a shot.

256
00:16:54.320 --> 00:16:56.720
I say no more than two or three

257
00:16:56.720 --> 00:16:58.720
just so that you don't get overwhelmed.

258
00:17:00.160 --> 00:17:02.760
So that's what I gotta say about dating apps.

259
00:17:02.760 --> 00:17:04.920
We can always talk about that later.

260
00:17:04.920 --> 00:17:08.640
Moving things from online chatting to video in person

261
00:17:08.640 --> 00:17:10.839
within a week is really important.

262
00:17:10.839 --> 00:17:13.520
Ladies, it's okay for you to drop the hanky.

263
00:17:13.520 --> 00:17:16.079
It's okay for you to suggest,

264
00:17:16.079 --> 00:17:19.160
hey, I'm really enjoying getting to know you here

265
00:17:19.160 --> 00:17:20.280
on the app.

266
00:17:20.280 --> 00:17:22.640
Why don't we set up a video date

267
00:17:22.640 --> 00:17:23.680
and an in-person date?

268
00:17:23.680 --> 00:17:26.599
I like the video dates if they're long distance.

269
00:17:26.599 --> 00:17:30.000
But if they're local and you've had a couple exchanges,

270
00:17:30.960 --> 00:17:32.520
go on the in-person date.

271
00:17:33.680 --> 00:17:34.920
Make sure it's public.

272
00:17:34.920 --> 00:17:36.960
Make sure you're in a public place.

273
00:17:36.960 --> 00:17:39.960
Okay, we don't have to be super anxious about that.

274
00:17:39.960 --> 00:17:42.720
Again, use discernment, okay?

275
00:17:42.720 --> 00:17:44.360
Come to us in the app.

276
00:17:44.360 --> 00:17:45.800
Let us know the situation.

277
00:17:45.800 --> 00:17:46.640
If you're not sure,

278
00:17:46.640 --> 00:17:48.760
like I'm not sure if I'm supposed to do this or that,

279
00:17:48.760 --> 00:17:50.080
we'll let you know.

280
00:17:50.080 --> 00:17:55.080
But really do your best to move to those video dates

281
00:17:55.120 --> 00:17:59.480
or in-person dates within a week of a couple exchanges, okay?

282
00:17:59.480 --> 00:18:01.600
And don't be afraid to drop the hanky

283
00:18:01.600 --> 00:18:05.080
and be the one to initiate that first initial meetup.

284
00:18:05.080 --> 00:18:07.240
Sometimes guys need a little help, okay?

285
00:18:09.240 --> 00:18:11.840
Also, I noticed a couple people

286
00:18:11.840 --> 00:18:13.280
are starting to have conversations

287
00:18:13.280 --> 00:18:15.080
with people that are long distance.

288
00:18:15.080 --> 00:18:17.720
Long distance is gonna look a little bit different, okay?

289
00:18:17.720 --> 00:18:19.760
So just keep that in mind.

290
00:18:20.440 --> 00:18:22.280
If you're in a long distance interaction,

291
00:18:22.280 --> 00:18:23.600
if you're in level one or level two

292
00:18:23.600 --> 00:18:25.400
with somebody that's long distance,

293
00:18:27.160 --> 00:18:28.880
you're gonna see a little bit of difference, okay?

294
00:18:28.880 --> 00:18:30.440
My husband and I were long distance,

295
00:18:30.440 --> 00:18:33.520
so I can speak a little bit to that.

296
00:18:33.520 --> 00:18:35.360
So if you ever have questions about the long distance

297
00:18:35.360 --> 00:18:38.440
and what that looks like, let us know.

298
00:18:38.440 --> 00:18:41.000
Jackie encourages an in-person meetup

299
00:18:41.000 --> 00:18:44.400
within six weeks of a long distance.

300
00:18:44.400 --> 00:18:46.640
And the reason we say that is because

301
00:18:47.920 --> 00:18:49.240
what you don't wanna happen

302
00:18:49.720 --> 00:18:52.000
is you do not wanna get attached to someone.

303
00:18:52.000 --> 00:18:55.360
And then once you meet them in person, it's just not there,

304
00:18:55.360 --> 00:18:56.240
because that can happen.

305
00:18:56.240 --> 00:18:58.560
And you get so worked up and excited about somebody,

306
00:18:58.560 --> 00:19:00.240
and then you meet them and you're like,

307
00:19:00.240 --> 00:19:03.080
oh, and then there's some disappointment, okay?

308
00:19:03.080 --> 00:19:08.080
So that's why it's important to get that initial meetup

309
00:19:09.360 --> 00:19:12.640
within the six weeks, okay?

310
00:19:12.640 --> 00:19:15.160
Also, if you are going to be interested

311
00:19:15.160 --> 00:19:18.160
in long distance dating, it's really important

312
00:19:18.160 --> 00:19:21.240
that you're clear that you're getting in,

313
00:19:21.240 --> 00:19:23.960
either you are open to moving,

314
00:19:23.960 --> 00:19:27.640
or you know that they're open to moving if you're not, okay?

315
00:19:27.640 --> 00:19:29.640
Now, I'm not saying that you need to know,

316
00:19:29.640 --> 00:19:32.120
like, am I gonna move for this person?

317
00:19:32.120 --> 00:19:35.680
But do you have peace in your heart with relocating?

318
00:19:37.640 --> 00:19:40.360
If you don't, and you start interacting with someone,

319
00:19:40.360 --> 00:19:43.760
then you need to know that they have peace in their heart

320
00:19:43.760 --> 00:19:46.360
that they would be willing to move.

321
00:19:47.360 --> 00:19:48.840
The last thing you wanna do

322
00:19:48.840 --> 00:19:52.200
is start getting emotionally involved with somebody

323
00:19:52.200 --> 00:19:54.520
before you've met them, one,

324
00:19:54.520 --> 00:19:57.920
and then if neither of you can move.

325
00:19:57.920 --> 00:19:59.920
So if you are a single parent.

326
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:06.040
parent and you have, you know, custody stuff where you can't move, then it's going to be

327
00:20:06.040 --> 00:20:11.260
important that that person is open to relocating.

328
00:20:11.260 --> 00:20:19.440
What I also will preface is ladies, when you're doing long distance, it is very important

329
00:20:19.440 --> 00:20:25.560
that the main, like you're going to know if the man is initial, like if he is intentional,

330
00:20:25.560 --> 00:20:30.600
you men will, in order for a man to have a long distance relationship, he's going to

331
00:20:30.600 --> 00:20:34.840
need to be invested and intentional about dating you.

332
00:20:34.840 --> 00:20:37.680
So we're going to want to see like, how is he showing up now?

333
00:20:37.680 --> 00:20:42.840
We're not coming with a critical heart of them, but we want to see like, how is he helping

334
00:20:42.840 --> 00:20:44.360
progress the relationship?

335
00:20:44.360 --> 00:20:45.360
Okay.

336
00:20:45.360 --> 00:20:48.960
Be careful not to constantly initiate everything.

337
00:20:48.960 --> 00:20:52.960
So again, we can kind of talk about that if there's more questions with that.

338
00:20:52.960 --> 00:20:57.160
And then lastly, the dating more than one person at a time.

339
00:20:57.160 --> 00:21:01.000
I know a lot of people get, they struggle with this.

340
00:21:01.000 --> 00:21:07.200
I think one of your sisters, I don't know if she's here with us today, Victoria, I know

341
00:21:07.200 --> 00:21:11.240
she's kind of in a situation, I don't see her on.

342
00:21:11.240 --> 00:21:12.240
Okay.

343
00:21:12.240 --> 00:21:20.600
So yeah, one of your sisters to kind of, she's gone on four dates with a guy, three in person

344
00:21:20.600 --> 00:21:21.600
dates.

345
00:21:21.600 --> 00:21:27.000
And he was a little taken back when he found out that she was talking to more people than

346
00:21:27.000 --> 00:21:28.000
just him.

347
00:21:28.000 --> 00:21:36.320
So what I will say, ladies is you may find yourself in this situation.

348
00:21:36.320 --> 00:21:40.680
There's a reason that we encourage dating more than one person at a time.

349
00:21:40.680 --> 00:21:43.920
And I want to kind of hopefully clarify this.

350
00:21:43.920 --> 00:21:55.600
One, why this is important is because women can easily attach, especially emotionally.

351
00:21:55.600 --> 00:21:56.840
Okay.

352
00:21:56.840 --> 00:22:04.840
And so if you're spending all your time with one person in level one and level two, you

353
00:22:04.840 --> 00:22:10.720
can start finding yourself attaching them, fantasizing about what the relationship potentially

354
00:22:10.720 --> 00:22:12.600
can look like.

355
00:22:12.600 --> 00:22:20.640
And then if that person is not interested in that way, then you're crushed when it doesn't

356
00:22:20.640 --> 00:22:24.460
go in the direction that you were hoping it was to go.

357
00:22:24.460 --> 00:22:30.480
So it helps you keep in check, you're not putting all your eggs in one basket.

358
00:22:30.480 --> 00:22:31.920
Okay.

359
00:22:31.920 --> 00:22:37.260
It also helps you ladies, because there are some men out there that will love bomb and

360
00:22:37.260 --> 00:22:40.560
want to anxiously attach to you.

361
00:22:40.560 --> 00:22:47.360
And for those of you that don't have a lot of boundaries, you may find yourself getting

362
00:22:47.360 --> 00:22:51.800
involved with someone that's not healthy for you.

363
00:22:51.800 --> 00:22:57.240
And so again, if you're open to having more, you know, getting to know two or three people

364
00:22:57.240 --> 00:23:02.260
and really pacing yourself, that's super important.

365
00:23:02.260 --> 00:23:04.520
So that's why we encourage it.

366
00:23:04.520 --> 00:23:09.640
Now, you will run into some guys that are going to be taken back by that.

367
00:23:09.640 --> 00:23:18.080
Part of this is because, I mean, part of this is because if they have been hurt or

368
00:23:18.080 --> 00:23:22.040
cheated on, it feels like cheating for them.

369
00:23:22.040 --> 00:23:28.560
And so a lot of times people kind of speed up or accelerate a level two relationship

370
00:23:28.560 --> 00:23:32.560
when and they think it's exclusive and they really don't know a person.

371
00:23:32.560 --> 00:23:38.800
We live in a world where dating in a worldly way is you're attaching and you're quickly

372
00:23:38.800 --> 00:23:43.760
getting to know someone and you're doing all the exclusive type relationships with

373
00:23:43.760 --> 00:23:46.200
someone that you barely know.

374
00:23:46.200 --> 00:23:50.280
And so that's why, again, you're going to run into people that, especially if they're

375
00:23:50.280 --> 00:23:56.520
not in this program, they're not going to understand what that pacing looks like.

376
00:23:56.520 --> 00:24:06.680
So sorry, I'm having to clear my throat, I gotta drink more water.

377
00:24:06.680 --> 00:24:10.640
So that, I hope that kind of gives you an oversight.

378
00:24:10.640 --> 00:24:15.800
So if you find yourself with someone and they kind of get taken back, like Victoria, this

379
00:24:15.800 --> 00:24:21.440
guy was like, that seems unchristian, that seems, you know, he was very triggered by

380
00:24:21.440 --> 00:24:22.720
that.

381
00:24:22.720 --> 00:24:25.240
She explained the program.

382
00:24:25.240 --> 00:24:28.960
And so he kind of, I think he softened up a little bit with that.

383
00:24:28.960 --> 00:24:35.600
Do not hesitate to communicate and have healthy confrontation with people.

384
00:24:35.600 --> 00:24:40.880
Your Boundaries video, if you haven't watched it yet, we'll kind of talk about what healthy

385
00:24:40.880 --> 00:24:46.840
confrontation looks like because the truth of the matter is in marriage, you're going

386
00:24:46.840 --> 00:24:52.120
to have confrontation.

387
00:24:52.120 --> 00:24:59.920
Confrontation is not, it's not the enemy, okay?

388
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:02.420
All relationships will have confrontation.

389
00:25:02.420 --> 00:25:04.840
Now, whether it's healthy or unhealthy

390
00:25:04.840 --> 00:25:07.960
is on the people involved, okay?

391
00:25:07.960 --> 00:25:10.440
Again, you can't control how someone's gonna respond

392
00:25:10.440 --> 00:25:14.600
to a conflict, but you can help align yourself

393
00:25:14.600 --> 00:25:18.240
with making healthy choices in how you approach conflict,

394
00:25:18.240 --> 00:25:19.080
okay?

395
00:25:19.080 --> 00:25:22.340
You're responsible for yourself, okay?

396
00:25:22.340 --> 00:25:25.260
So just keep that in mind, all right?

397
00:25:26.120 --> 00:25:26.960
We good?

398
00:25:26.960 --> 00:25:29.100
All right, I got six hands up.

399
00:25:29.140 --> 00:25:33.380
I'm gonna also see if I can look through the chat.

400
00:25:33.380 --> 00:25:36.980
If you put something in the chat and I can't get to it,

401
00:25:36.980 --> 00:25:40.460
raise your hand or remind me, okay?

402
00:25:40.460 --> 00:25:42.000
So we're gonna try to get through these.

403
00:25:42.000 --> 00:25:46.260
Let's see, it's 1227 here, 1228.

404
00:25:46.260 --> 00:25:51.060
So if we can, let's see, we got 30, 45 minutes.

405
00:25:51.060 --> 00:25:52.620
We got six hands up, so we're gonna see

406
00:25:52.620 --> 00:25:53.500
what we can do here.

407
00:25:53.500 --> 00:25:56.140
90 seconds or less, give me your question, okay?

408
00:25:56.980 --> 00:25:59.780
And we're gonna make this go.

409
00:25:59.780 --> 00:26:02.140
Yes, Lily, you can go last.

410
00:26:02.140 --> 00:26:03.660
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

411
00:26:03.660 --> 00:26:07.940
All right, Stephanie, not Stephanie, sorry.

412
00:26:08.780 --> 00:26:10.140
Yes, Stephanie Davis.

413
00:26:10.140 --> 00:26:13.020
Yes, because there's more Stephanie's here.

414
00:26:13.020 --> 00:26:13.860
What's your question?

415
00:26:13.860 --> 00:26:14.780
How are you?

416
00:26:14.780 --> 00:26:16.780
I'm good, okay.

417
00:26:16.780 --> 00:26:18.860
It's gonna seem like a ridiculous question,

418
00:26:18.860 --> 00:26:21.380
but I'm so new to the online, David.

419
00:26:21.380 --> 00:26:23.300
I don't know what I'm doing.

420
00:26:23.340 --> 00:26:25.820
I feel like I'm not doing it correctly.

421
00:26:26.660 --> 00:26:29.140
I did set up my, everybody gave me a profile thing.

422
00:26:29.140 --> 00:26:31.480
I don't know which, because every time I come on,

423
00:26:31.480 --> 00:26:33.060
there's somebody say that this site

424
00:26:33.060 --> 00:26:34.980
and I don't know what to do.

425
00:26:34.980 --> 00:26:37.900
So I don't know, I'm not familiar with the Facebook.

426
00:26:37.900 --> 00:26:42.420
I tried to type in Facebook dating, but I didn't see it.

427
00:26:42.420 --> 00:26:45.300
I went and joined Upwork last, yesterday,

428
00:26:45.300 --> 00:26:46.740
then I went and canceled it.

429
00:26:47.860 --> 00:26:49.700
You went to what one yesterday?

430
00:26:50.340 --> 00:26:53.460
Upwork, and I canceled it.

431
00:26:53.460 --> 00:26:57.060
And I'm on Holy and I'm doing the arching,

432
00:26:57.060 --> 00:26:59.580
but I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing.

433
00:26:59.580 --> 00:27:02.140
I haven't done this in almost 30, I don't know.

434
00:27:02.140 --> 00:27:03.460
I'm lost.

435
00:27:03.460 --> 00:27:05.420
And I asked somebody who's in the third year,

436
00:27:05.420 --> 00:27:08.700
they said, oh, this is where I should ask in my group.

437
00:27:08.700 --> 00:27:10.700
Because I was like, can you walk me through it, please?

438
00:27:10.700 --> 00:27:12.140
I don't have to come to the group and ask,

439
00:27:12.140 --> 00:27:13.580
I feel really silly.

440
00:27:13.580 --> 00:27:14.420
And she-

441
00:27:14.420 --> 00:27:17.380
Do not feel silly, that's what we're here for, okay?

442
00:27:18.340 --> 00:27:20.100
That is exactly what we're here for.

443
00:27:20.100 --> 00:27:24.140
And what I will say, online dating,

444
00:27:25.700 --> 00:27:29.100
it's just weird, all right?

445
00:27:29.100 --> 00:27:31.900
I'm just gonna say it, it's weird, all right?

446
00:27:31.900 --> 00:27:35.140
But more and more people are now doing it.

447
00:27:35.140 --> 00:27:37.180
I mean, I remember when I first started doing it

448
00:27:37.180 --> 00:27:41.060
and I'm like, oh my gosh, and this was decades ago.

449
00:27:41.060 --> 00:27:42.940
And it's like, now more and more people are doing that,

450
00:27:42.940 --> 00:27:44.460
but there's so many out there,

451
00:27:44.460 --> 00:27:46.420
it's like, well, which one do I choose?

452
00:27:46.420 --> 00:27:48.980
And then each one has different things about it

453
00:27:48.980 --> 00:27:50.580
that you like or don't like.

454
00:27:50.580 --> 00:27:54.340
And so that's why, if you're feeling overwhelmed,

455
00:27:54.340 --> 00:27:58.580
let's have you focus just on one, okay?

456
00:27:58.580 --> 00:28:01.860
So did you get to Facebook dating?

457
00:28:02.700 --> 00:28:04.300
No, I don't know how to do it.

458
00:28:04.300 --> 00:28:06.140
I type it in, but I don't know where to go.

459
00:28:06.140 --> 00:28:08.420
Because I sent her the screenshot

460
00:28:08.420 --> 00:28:09.900
and she was like, that's what she told me.

461
00:28:09.900 --> 00:28:11.580
She said, you need to go to your group and ask.

462
00:28:11.580 --> 00:28:12.820
I was like, okay.

463
00:28:12.860 --> 00:28:15.580
Okay, yeah, so when you're,

464
00:28:15.580 --> 00:28:19.140
do you use Facebook on your phone?

465
00:28:19.140 --> 00:28:20.340
Both.

466
00:28:20.340 --> 00:28:21.180
Okay.

467
00:28:21.180 --> 00:28:23.460
One question before.

468
00:28:23.460 --> 00:28:25.620
So with the Facebook is I have,

469
00:28:25.620 --> 00:28:26.700
so I run my own company

470
00:28:26.700 --> 00:28:28.500
and my company is a children's company.

471
00:28:28.500 --> 00:28:31.140
So that's really, really kind of like funny

472
00:28:31.140 --> 00:28:32.380
with the Facebook.

473
00:28:32.380 --> 00:28:35.180
So will they be able to see my-

474
00:28:35.180 --> 00:28:38.020
No, they cannot see your personal profile

475
00:28:38.020 --> 00:28:41.980
unless you have, unless they ask to be your friend

476
00:28:41.980 --> 00:28:43.700
and you accept their friend request.

477
00:28:43.700 --> 00:28:44.540
Okay, good.

478
00:28:44.540 --> 00:28:46.260
And ladies, and so I'm glad you brought that up

479
00:28:46.260 --> 00:28:48.740
because I'm gonna strongly suggest,

480
00:28:48.740 --> 00:28:50.420
do not accept friend requests

481
00:28:50.420 --> 00:28:52.580
from people that you don't know.

482
00:28:52.580 --> 00:28:55.700
Even when you're Facebook dating

483
00:28:55.700 --> 00:28:57.060
and you've had a couple exchanges

484
00:28:57.060 --> 00:28:59.300
and maybe you've met them in person,

485
00:28:59.300 --> 00:29:01.180
don't accept their friend request.

486
00:29:01.180 --> 00:29:04.060
They're still strangers, okay?

487
00:29:04.060 --> 00:29:07.260
Because depending on what you put on your profile,

488
00:29:07.260 --> 00:29:09.940
they now have access to everything.

489
00:29:09.940 --> 00:29:10.780
Okay.

490
00:29:10.980 --> 00:29:13.340
Especially those, and I'm gonna,

491
00:29:13.340 --> 00:29:15.140
again, I was a single mama

492
00:29:16.460 --> 00:29:18.500
and I put a lot of things up with my kid

493
00:29:18.500 --> 00:29:19.900
because I had lots of family.

494
00:29:19.900 --> 00:29:23.060
Like I grew up in Indiana, I was living in Florida.

495
00:29:23.060 --> 00:29:25.340
I had family and friends all over

496
00:29:25.340 --> 00:29:27.380
that were connected to my son.

497
00:29:28.580 --> 00:29:31.060
And it was an easy way for people to feel

498
00:29:31.060 --> 00:29:32.900
like they got to be in my son's life

499
00:29:32.900 --> 00:29:35.340
that were close family and friends.

500
00:29:35.340 --> 00:29:38.340
Okay, and so I had like, I would put things up

501
00:29:38.340 --> 00:29:42.100
but I was very particular with who I had as my friends.

502
00:29:43.180 --> 00:29:44.620
Okay, so if you have kids,

503
00:29:44.620 --> 00:29:47.260
especially do not be accepting friend requests

504
00:29:47.260 --> 00:29:48.980
from people that you do not know.

505
00:29:50.260 --> 00:29:54.580
All right, so hopefully that helps you there

506
00:29:54.580 --> 00:29:57.660
that they're not gonna have access to your personal page

507
00:29:57.660 --> 00:29:59.740
unless you give them access.

508
00:29:59.740 --> 00:30:00.580
I will.

509
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.160
Also strongly suggest that you ladies,

510
00:30:03.160 --> 00:30:05.440
for those of you that have social media,

511
00:30:05.440 --> 00:30:08.080
go double check your privacy settings

512
00:30:08.080 --> 00:30:09.280
and make sure that public people

513
00:30:09.280 --> 00:30:10.960
can't see what you're posting.

514
00:30:10.960 --> 00:30:13.000
I do this from time to time

515
00:30:13.000 --> 00:30:15.280
just to make sure that things are not public.

516
00:30:21.660 --> 00:30:22.880
Back to Facebook dating.

517
00:30:22.880 --> 00:30:25.200
Okay, if you are on the app,

518
00:30:26.200 --> 00:30:27.660
I hope you can see this,

519
00:30:27.660 --> 00:30:30.000
sometimes it flips the screen here.

520
00:30:33.260 --> 00:30:35.500
You see mine?

521
00:30:35.500 --> 00:30:36.660
Is it flipped around?

522
00:30:36.660 --> 00:30:39.700
You see at the bottom, is your Facebook?

523
00:30:41.420 --> 00:30:42.320
Can you see that?

524
00:30:44.220 --> 00:30:46.540
If you screenshot it and put it in a group,

525
00:30:46.540 --> 00:30:49.260
I probably able to, but I can't see it.

526
00:30:49.260 --> 00:30:50.900
I don't have my glasses on.

527
00:30:50.900 --> 00:30:54.140
Most of you will, oh, I'm trying to see.

528
00:30:54.140 --> 00:30:57.500
There's a heart bottom of the screen.

529
00:30:57.500 --> 00:30:59.140
There's a heart.

530
00:30:59.140 --> 00:31:00.940
And it says dating underneath it.

531
00:31:02.340 --> 00:31:05.020
No, but what do you type in to find that heart?

532
00:31:05.020 --> 00:31:06.660
It will just pop up.

533
00:31:06.660 --> 00:31:08.460
Or if you go to the menu,

534
00:31:08.460 --> 00:31:11.460
so like the three horizontal lines,

535
00:31:11.460 --> 00:31:13.580
if you click the menu,

536
00:31:13.580 --> 00:31:17.940
then it's here in your menu.

537
00:31:17.940 --> 00:31:18.980
Okay.

538
00:31:18.980 --> 00:31:19.820
Oh, I found it.

539
00:31:21.260 --> 00:31:23.780
Perfect, click on that.

540
00:31:23.780 --> 00:31:26.380
And then that will help you set up your online profile.

541
00:31:27.300 --> 00:31:30.580
Because you're new to the online dating world,

542
00:31:30.580 --> 00:31:32.500
let's have you focus on one

543
00:31:32.500 --> 00:31:35.380
and let's get you comfortable with one.

544
00:31:35.380 --> 00:31:37.060
And then once you get comfortable with that,

545
00:31:37.060 --> 00:31:40.220
if you want to add a second or third,

546
00:31:40.220 --> 00:31:41.580
just do one at a time.

547
00:31:42.940 --> 00:31:45.020
Because ladies, you want to make sure,

548
00:31:45.020 --> 00:31:47.420
don't work these apps like it's a job.

549
00:31:47.420 --> 00:31:51.500
You want it to be as enjoyable as possible.

550
00:31:51.500 --> 00:31:52.340
Okay.

551
00:31:53.260 --> 00:31:54.500
Does that make sense?

552
00:31:55.500 --> 00:31:57.180
Okay, perfect.

553
00:31:57.180 --> 00:31:59.940
All right, Stephanie, I hope that helps you out.

554
00:31:59.940 --> 00:32:00.780
Thank you.

555
00:32:00.780 --> 00:32:03.620
Let's post it on how that works, okay?

556
00:32:03.620 --> 00:32:04.540
Awesome.

557
00:32:04.540 --> 00:32:09.380
Okay, I see Stephanie, you put a question in the chat.

558
00:32:10.460 --> 00:32:11.660
What filter should I use?

559
00:32:11.660 --> 00:32:13.740
I'm not actually interested in most of them in.

560
00:32:13.740 --> 00:32:15.020
Facebook dating is throwing at me.

561
00:32:15.020 --> 00:32:15.860
Okay.

562
00:32:17.340 --> 00:32:20.340
No indication of Jesus and their profile blurbs.

563
00:32:20.340 --> 00:32:21.180
I get that.

564
00:32:21.180 --> 00:32:22.620
Sometimes you're not going to see it.

565
00:32:22.940 --> 00:32:25.100
You're not going to see people share about Jesus

566
00:32:25.100 --> 00:32:26.660
or share about their faith.

567
00:32:26.660 --> 00:32:29.620
I always look and see where their religion indicator is.

568
00:32:29.620 --> 00:32:32.340
It's not, you're not going to know someone's,

569
00:32:32.340 --> 00:32:34.900
if they're like have a relationship with the Lord

570
00:32:34.900 --> 00:32:37.900
and you probably shouldn't in level one.

571
00:32:37.900 --> 00:32:39.740
And you're probably not going to find that out

572
00:32:39.740 --> 00:32:43.660
until you've been through level two relationship

573
00:32:43.660 --> 00:32:45.460
as you've been getting to know them.

574
00:32:46.380 --> 00:32:48.460
One thing I will say is,

575
00:32:48.460 --> 00:32:50.300
I'm not saying this is a hard rule

576
00:32:50.300 --> 00:32:52.220
that all men follow this,

577
00:32:52.300 --> 00:32:55.580
but there have been men, especially in our program,

578
00:32:55.580 --> 00:33:00.580
that they actually do not put their faith in their profile

579
00:33:01.060 --> 00:33:02.740
because they have been,

580
00:33:05.620 --> 00:33:08.700
what they have experienced when they do

581
00:33:08.700 --> 00:33:11.700
is then they get these overly religious women

582
00:33:11.700 --> 00:33:14.500
kind of like pouncing on them.

583
00:33:14.500 --> 00:33:15.660
And it's been a turnoff.

584
00:33:15.660 --> 00:33:18.500
Like many of these men are like, look, it's a turnoff.

585
00:33:18.500 --> 00:33:20.540
Like these women are ready to walk down the aisle

586
00:33:20.540 --> 00:33:24.140
and I've only been on, like, I'm just chatting with them.

587
00:33:24.140 --> 00:33:27.420
And so they notice that when they put their faith

588
00:33:27.420 --> 00:33:28.740
in their profile,

589
00:33:28.740 --> 00:33:32.460
that's what kind of women they're attracting.

590
00:33:32.460 --> 00:33:35.380
So there's a possibility that sometimes

591
00:33:35.380 --> 00:33:39.140
these men may not put anything in their profile.

592
00:33:39.140 --> 00:33:41.100
They may just indicate that they're Christian

593
00:33:41.100 --> 00:33:43.980
on when there's that religious question.

594
00:33:43.980 --> 00:33:45.820
You know how like, do y'all know what I mean?

595
00:33:45.820 --> 00:33:48.980
When there's like, you have to answer the question,

596
00:33:48.980 --> 00:33:50.500
like, what's your religion?

597
00:33:50.500 --> 00:33:52.100
What's your spirituality sort of thing?

598
00:33:52.100 --> 00:33:54.220
And people can put Christian, Catholic,

599
00:33:54.220 --> 00:33:57.980
spiritual but not religious, like all of that stuff.

600
00:33:57.980 --> 00:34:01.500
For me, I use that as my swiping indicator.

601
00:34:01.500 --> 00:34:05.220
If they didn't put that they were Christian on it,

602
00:34:05.220 --> 00:34:07.220
I didn't swipe.

603
00:34:07.220 --> 00:34:10.699
Now, occasionally I made exceptions

604
00:34:10.699 --> 00:34:13.500
if I thought that their profile read really well

605
00:34:13.500 --> 00:34:17.100
and they seemed like they had a good heart

606
00:34:17.100 --> 00:34:20.340
and I could see some of the fruit in their profile.

607
00:34:20.340 --> 00:34:21.940
For me, I was just like, okay,

608
00:34:22.940 --> 00:34:24.020
he didn't put Christian on here,

609
00:34:24.020 --> 00:34:26.260
but maybe he's interested in getting to know.

610
00:34:27.540 --> 00:34:30.139
Okay, there's no hard rules.

611
00:34:30.139 --> 00:34:33.739
What I will say is follow peace,

612
00:34:33.739 --> 00:34:36.300
spend time in alignment with Holy Spirit,

613
00:34:37.300 --> 00:34:39.100
ask for the gift of discernment

614
00:34:41.300 --> 00:34:44.659
and decide that way, okay?

615
00:34:44.659 --> 00:34:47.580
So again, I will say that not always men

616
00:34:47.580 --> 00:34:52.420
that are Christian are gonna just let it be known, okay?

617
00:34:53.620 --> 00:34:55.179
I'm not saying that, you know,

618
00:34:56.380 --> 00:34:58.940
like now just start accepting everybody

619
00:34:58.940 --> 00:35:00.140
in hopes that they are.

620
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.000
But just keep that in mind.

621
00:35:02.000 --> 00:35:05.720
Okay, so you're getting tons of messages and it's overwhelming.

622
00:35:05.720 --> 00:35:06.720
I tend to have no boundaries,

623
00:35:06.720 --> 00:35:09.400
so my default is just to give everyone a chance.

624
00:35:09.400 --> 00:35:11.000
Okay, that's totally fine.

625
00:35:11.000 --> 00:35:12.360
You're at work. Got it.

626
00:35:12.360 --> 00:35:15.840
Glad I saw this so we can decide.

627
00:35:15.840 --> 00:35:19.280
Yeah, if you're getting overwhelmed with messages,

628
00:35:19.280 --> 00:35:26.440
this is when it gets fun because now you really can practice Holy Spirit discernment,

629
00:35:26.440 --> 00:35:29.640
and you get to decide which ones do you want to try,

630
00:35:29.680 --> 00:35:31.680
and which ones do not.

631
00:35:31.680 --> 00:35:37.120
If you're being infiltrated now, you get a little bit more to pick from.

632
00:35:37.120 --> 00:35:39.480
That's not necessarily a bad thing.

633
00:35:39.480 --> 00:35:45.240
So I think it's great that you're recognizing that you don't have boundaries,

634
00:35:45.240 --> 00:35:46.960
that you tend to have no boundaries.

635
00:35:46.960 --> 00:35:50.000
So that's probably something that's being highlighted

636
00:35:50.000 --> 00:35:53.040
for you to spend some time with Holy Spirit and work through.

637
00:35:53.040 --> 00:35:55.840
Okay, you know, leaning into Him,

638
00:35:55.840 --> 00:35:59.600
asking Him ways that you can practice having some boundaries.

639
00:35:59.600 --> 00:36:01.040
So spend time.

640
00:36:01.040 --> 00:36:02.840
Let's find out, okay, Lord,

641
00:36:02.840 --> 00:36:08.080
what boundaries can I start putting into place right now while I'm in this process?

642
00:36:08.080 --> 00:36:09.360
Okay.

643
00:36:09.360 --> 00:36:11.360
And so Stephanie, you're asking, how do you decide?

644
00:36:11.360 --> 00:36:13.040
I have a ton of people to look at,

645
00:36:13.040 --> 00:36:15.600
and that Jesus thing is my way to filter them.

646
00:36:15.600 --> 00:36:16.680
Perfect.

647
00:36:16.680 --> 00:36:19.440
So if that's the case, and you want to, like, right now,

648
00:36:19.440 --> 00:36:24.240
you feel at peace that, look, you're into mission,

649
00:36:24.240 --> 00:36:26.520
so you do need a particular person.

650
00:36:26.520 --> 00:36:30.800
So I think that's a great way for you to kind of use as a filter.

651
00:36:30.800 --> 00:36:35.240
So if guys are coming in, and they're not sharing about Jesus,

652
00:36:35.240 --> 00:36:39.040
and you've got a lot, that will help you filter through them, okay?

653
00:36:39.040 --> 00:36:42.920
And I would even start praying to Holy Spirit,

654
00:36:42.920 --> 00:36:46.520
Lord, if my husband doesn't have something in his profile,

655
00:36:46.520 --> 00:36:50.040
if he's online, he doesn't have something about his profile in Jesus,

656
00:36:50.040 --> 00:36:53.960
Lord, prompt in his heart to put something there.

657
00:36:53.960 --> 00:36:56.000
Start praying about it.

658
00:36:56.000 --> 00:36:57.120
Okay, good.

659
00:36:57.120 --> 00:36:58.560
I'm so glad that helps you.

660
00:36:58.560 --> 00:36:59.640
Fantastic.

661
00:36:59.640 --> 00:37:01.120
Stephanie, do you still have another question,

662
00:37:01.120 --> 00:37:02.400
because your hand is up?

663
00:37:02.400 --> 00:37:07.120
If you, yeah, Stephanie Davis, it's fine.

664
00:37:07.120 --> 00:37:08.720
I just, I want to make sure that I'm not,

665
00:37:08.720 --> 00:37:10.440
like, because if you have a second question,

666
00:37:10.440 --> 00:37:12.880
you can still keep your hand up, because I will filter back around,

667
00:37:12.880 --> 00:37:15.840
or circle back around to you, okay?

668
00:37:15.840 --> 00:37:18.880
All right, next person that I see is Melissa.

669
00:37:18.880 --> 00:37:22.360
Hey, Melissa, I saw some of your posts,

670
00:37:22.360 --> 00:37:24.560
so let's dive into one of those.

671
00:37:24.560 --> 00:37:25.400
Yeah.

672
00:37:25.400 --> 00:37:26.240
Good.

673
00:37:26.240 --> 00:37:30.120
One I wanted to ask about is the one about the guy, Matt, in Texas.

674
00:37:30.120 --> 00:37:31.920
I love that you just talked about religion.

675
00:37:31.920 --> 00:37:33.760
So he found me.

676
00:37:33.760 --> 00:37:35.440
We've been talking for three weeks now,

677
00:37:35.440 --> 00:37:37.600
and it's just like, we've clicked on every level,

678
00:37:37.600 --> 00:37:40.080
and he has been so intentional.

679
00:37:40.080 --> 00:37:43.000
Like, he's just made it clear that he wants to pursue.

680
00:37:43.000 --> 00:37:45.440
I've barely had to initiate,

681
00:37:46.800 --> 00:37:49.880
and he is just like, from what we've exchanged

682
00:37:49.880 --> 00:37:54.480
with longer messages, like, over the app, and then texting,

683
00:37:54.480 --> 00:37:57.560
and then our first video date, he is a great guy.

684
00:37:57.560 --> 00:37:58.880
Like, he's got a good heart.

685
00:37:58.880 --> 00:38:00.040
He's definitely been through some stuff,

686
00:38:00.040 --> 00:38:01.720
but he's, like, working with a counselor,

687
00:38:01.720 --> 00:38:04.520
and just seems to have a really good head on his shoulders.

688
00:38:04.520 --> 00:38:07.320
And when he found me, I knew he was spiritual but religious,

689
00:38:07.320 --> 00:38:11.040
but that can literally mean almost anything.

690
00:38:11.040 --> 00:38:12.560
Exactly.

691
00:38:12.560 --> 00:38:14.720
I, you know, wanting to not rush ahead.

692
00:38:14.720 --> 00:38:15.560
I haven't pushed it.

693
00:38:15.560 --> 00:38:16.600
I haven't asked about it.

694
00:38:16.600 --> 00:38:19.240
I just mentioned, like, if it comes up in my life,

695
00:38:19.240 --> 00:38:21.240
I bring up, like, oh, I'm going to church.

696
00:38:21.240 --> 00:38:23.280
If it's naturally organically coming up,

697
00:38:23.280 --> 00:38:25.200
like, that's when I always encourage you ladies,

698
00:38:25.200 --> 00:38:26.200
like, share it.

699
00:38:26.200 --> 00:38:27.040
Right.

700
00:38:27.040 --> 00:38:29.080
Because that's, you're letting them get to know

701
00:38:29.080 --> 00:38:30.440
a certain level of you.

702
00:38:30.440 --> 00:38:32.200
So if your faith, and your religion,

703
00:38:32.200 --> 00:38:34.920
and your relationship with the Lord is super important,

704
00:38:34.920 --> 00:38:37.480
it's naturally gonna come up in conversation for you,

705
00:38:37.480 --> 00:38:40.000
as long as we're not anticipating it for them.

706
00:38:40.000 --> 00:38:42.480
But again, as you're getting to know them,

707
00:38:42.480 --> 00:38:44.480
you're gonna see those fruits come out,

708
00:38:44.480 --> 00:38:46.680
and you're gonna kind of get more of an understanding.

709
00:38:46.680 --> 00:38:50.560
This is when, you know, the pacing part is important.

710
00:38:50.560 --> 00:38:53.200
Okay, you're not gonna find out everything right away.

711
00:38:53.200 --> 00:38:55.280
It's gonna take time.

712
00:38:55.280 --> 00:38:56.560
So I love that.

713
00:38:56.560 --> 00:39:00.360
I think I even saw, like, he brought up the conversation,

714
00:39:00.360 --> 00:39:02.800
and you found out some information with him.

715
00:39:02.800 --> 00:39:04.360
Right, and that's where I was struggling,

716
00:39:04.360 --> 00:39:07.120
because he brought up about this link about saging,

717
00:39:07.120 --> 00:39:08.440
and smudging.

718
00:39:08.440 --> 00:39:09.280
What?

719
00:39:09.280 --> 00:39:10.600
And then he said, I don't even believe in this.

720
00:39:10.600 --> 00:39:12.200
I'm just at a last resort.

721
00:39:12.200 --> 00:39:14.280
So I have no idea what his context is.

722
00:39:14.280 --> 00:39:15.520
I haven't pushed and asked,

723
00:39:15.520 --> 00:39:17.200
like, give me your whole backstory.

724
00:39:17.200 --> 00:39:20.080
I don't know what the background,

725
00:39:20.080 --> 00:39:21.600
like, does he have a Christian background?

726
00:39:21.600 --> 00:39:22.680
I don't know.

727
00:39:22.680 --> 00:39:25.160
But he sent that very kind reply of,

728
00:39:25.160 --> 00:39:26.720
like, I'm willing to explore this.

729
00:39:26.720 --> 00:39:27.880
I just need hand-holding.

730
00:39:27.880 --> 00:39:32.080
And so I'm like, okay, that means we're on equal yoke now,

731
00:39:32.080 --> 00:39:33.480
but.

732
00:39:33.480 --> 00:39:34.440
Well, here's the thing.

733
00:39:34.440 --> 00:39:38.360
I think this is, one thing that, when I read his response,

734
00:39:39.560 --> 00:39:42.200
one thing that I saw that was really positive

735
00:39:42.200 --> 00:39:44.160
that I thought was a green flag,

736
00:39:45.160 --> 00:39:47.680
and correct me if I'm wrong, because I read it.

737
00:39:47.680 --> 00:39:50.040
I wanna see if you noticed it.

738
00:39:50.040 --> 00:39:54.560
He mentioned how he is going with his friend

739
00:39:54.560 --> 00:39:57.320
to a men's Bible study, right?

740
00:39:57.320 --> 00:39:59.720
Or group, men's group.

741
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.800
Yeah, so he clearly has at least one Christian man in his life.

742
00:40:02.800 --> 00:40:07.840
So I think that's positive because yes, he's admitting, I need some hand-holding here.

743
00:40:09.360 --> 00:40:16.400
And so it's not just, it's not you. Cause what I will encourage is ladies, like you do not want

744
00:40:16.400 --> 00:40:23.680
to have to drag someone to equal your faith or to match your faith. What you're looking for

745
00:40:24.240 --> 00:40:28.320
is it's not about where they've been or where they're current. I mean, even sometimes even

746
00:40:28.320 --> 00:40:35.040
where they're currently at is what is their heart moving forward. So if you're seeing some fruits

747
00:40:35.040 --> 00:40:45.040
here and he's saying, Hey, he's sharing some honest stuff. Like he's, he's probably, you know,

748
00:40:45.760 --> 00:40:50.160
tussling with God a little bit here of some things that happened in his life. Again,

749
00:40:50.160 --> 00:40:55.520
we don't know it's again, it's still kind of early. Right. And so that's probably probably

750
00:40:56.320 --> 00:41:01.680
he's giving you a little bit to kind of get to know him, but he's also not diving in and like

751
00:41:02.240 --> 00:41:05.040
vomiting all this stuff, which to me, I think is a good sign.

752
00:41:05.760 --> 00:41:10.880
Well, and Carla, that's one of the things he is the pace. He has been so respectful of like

753
00:41:10.880 --> 00:41:14.400
me not wanting to rush in, but he doesn't either. He just keeps saying,

754
00:41:14.400 --> 00:41:17.760
we're just getting to know each other. This is great. We're just getting to know each other.

755
00:41:17.760 --> 00:41:21.440
I think this is like, again, we don't know, like, again, we're not projecting. Is this

756
00:41:21.440 --> 00:41:26.800
my spirit bait? Is this, is not, it's all about enjoying the process. Okay. You're seeing good

757
00:41:26.800 --> 00:41:31.120
fruits right now. You're seeing some things that you're like, I'm not sure where this is going to

758
00:41:31.120 --> 00:41:36.000
go. Right. And you don't have to get anxious about it. You don't have to get worried about it. Oh,

759
00:41:36.000 --> 00:41:40.400
I don't know. I'm a little nervous. Don't just be like, okay, let's release that. Let's let God,

760
00:41:40.400 --> 00:41:44.880
okay. God, I believe that you're going to let me know what I need to know when I need to know it.

761
00:41:44.880 --> 00:41:49.680
Because remember this dating process is not always just about finding your,

762
00:41:49.680 --> 00:41:54.800
finding your spirit mate. It's about the journey that God wants to take you on to prepare your

763
00:41:54.800 --> 00:42:00.160
heart for marriage. Yeah. Okay. There's such growth and learning experience. I can't tell you,

764
00:42:01.040 --> 00:42:05.600
there were so many guys that I encountered on my dating journey when I was in this program

765
00:42:07.360 --> 00:42:15.120
that God used to help me sort things out so that when my husband came, I was ready to receive it.

766
00:42:16.080 --> 00:42:21.360
Mm hmm. And so that's so important. Yeah. I think, you know, and, and Ebony, I've heard

767
00:42:21.360 --> 00:42:30.560
even Ebony share is you don't want to not work on things that God's trying to highlight to you,

768
00:42:30.560 --> 00:42:35.760
because here's the thing. God's not going to withhold us from our spirit mate, but he does

769
00:42:35.760 --> 00:42:43.040
want us to prepare because the gifts that he gives us, he wants us to be able to steward them well.

770
00:42:43.040 --> 00:42:48.800
Yeah. And if we don't, again, follow obedience and alignment with what God is asking us to do,

771
00:42:50.240 --> 00:42:53.840
potentially if we're not taking the wisdom on and we're not learning from it

772
00:42:54.560 --> 00:42:58.720
and God brings this gift, we may not have the capacity to keep it.

773
00:43:00.320 --> 00:43:06.240
And so I just want to encourage you ladies that in this dating process, especially in phase two,

774
00:43:06.880 --> 00:43:14.160
like really spend time with Holy Spirit and asking Holy Spirit, like, how can I grow from this?

775
00:43:14.160 --> 00:43:19.760
How is this, how is this person being brought to me as an opportunity to prepare me for what you

776
00:43:19.760 --> 00:43:24.960
have, the promise that you have for me? So I think you're seeing grapefruits from this guy.

777
00:43:24.960 --> 00:43:30.720
Yeah. And I think I read that you guys are talking about, um, meeting in person,

778
00:43:30.880 --> 00:43:33.680
meeting in person, him coming to Cleveland.

779
00:43:33.680 --> 00:43:38.000
But that conversation has all been before the religious portion of it came up, but I'm like,

780
00:43:38.000 --> 00:43:42.640
do we just continue even if I'm not certain where he stands and still talk about that?

781
00:43:42.640 --> 00:43:47.920
Yeah. So I say still continue, still continue to get to know him because more can be revealed.

782
00:43:48.640 --> 00:43:51.920
Um, you guys have been talking, I think it said two weeks.

783
00:43:52.480 --> 00:43:58.400
Yeah. It's honestly, it feels like months like, and not because we're over attached. It's just

784
00:43:58.400 --> 00:44:04.640
so easy and so fun. And he's admitted, I like you. I've been able to say, I like you too. I

785
00:44:04.640 --> 00:44:07.280
want to keep getting to know you. And you've had video dates, right?

786
00:44:07.280 --> 00:44:11.920
Just one so far. We've got another one. Yeah. Put those video dates on the calendar.

787
00:44:11.920 --> 00:44:16.880
I would even say, look, I really am enjoying getting to know you. And, um, I know we kind

788
00:44:16.880 --> 00:44:21.760
of briefly mentioned meeting up, you know, and you can even say like, look, I'm in this

789
00:44:21.760 --> 00:44:30.080
program of, you know, a dating coach and, and like, you know, it's been encouraged to us,

790
00:44:30.080 --> 00:44:34.880
especially with long distance that we meet in person within six weeks. So I would love to see

791
00:44:34.880 --> 00:44:40.560
if we can't kind of navigate that if we continue to still enjoy getting to know each other and,

792
00:44:40.560 --> 00:44:44.880
you know, let's see if we can't put something on the calendar as we continue to get to know each

793
00:44:44.880 --> 00:44:50.320
other. I mean, are you pacing, um, your interactions? Well, like, are you, are you

794
00:44:50.320 --> 00:44:54.880
talking a lot each day? Are you pacing it out? Is it like every day? Is it every other day?

795
00:44:54.880 --> 00:44:59.760
Like what's that look like? It's every day so far. I always let him initiate like he's.

796
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.040
that says good morning usually by about 10 or 11. There was a hit on something really funny and be

797
00:45:05.040 --> 00:45:10.480
texting for like an hour or two and then go hours without anything. Usually we're texting each other

798
00:45:10.480 --> 00:45:15.120
even a little bit but like I had plans last night he had plans so he texted right after work and it

799
00:45:15.120 --> 00:45:20.320
was like great have a good night like it's not like like oh good morning good night kind of like

800
00:45:20.320 --> 00:45:25.680
in bed sort of thing not that. Okay so yeah it seems like he's got a he's got a healthy

801
00:45:25.680 --> 00:45:30.320
healthy heart healthy healthy thing I'm sure he's got the only thing that we see is right now it

802
00:45:30.320 --> 00:45:36.320
seems like he's still kind of tussling with this faith relationship with God and right now only

803
00:45:36.320 --> 00:45:42.400
time will tell as you continue and if anything you're you're seeing how there are some really

804
00:45:42.400 --> 00:45:47.040
good men out there regardless of where their faith is there's some really good intentional

805
00:45:47.040 --> 00:45:53.120
men out there. Yeah. God used so many amazing men to come into my life just to show me that there

806
00:45:53.120 --> 00:45:59.440
were good men out there because let me tell you my past before this program so many unhealthy men

807
00:46:00.320 --> 00:46:05.360
and so I mean it was easy for me to think that and get in that scarcity mindset there's no good

808
00:46:05.360 --> 00:46:09.920
men out there I'm not gonna find this I mean again like it was like all this but God was like

809
00:46:09.920 --> 00:46:16.720
baby girl like let me show you there's good men. Yeah. You know and I'm gonna show you so that I

810
00:46:16.720 --> 00:46:21.920
mean I had to have a lot of good men that started coming into my life so that I could believe it.

811
00:46:23.440 --> 00:46:28.960
So I think so far continue to keep pacing I think you're still even talking to a few people

812
00:46:28.960 --> 00:46:34.160
be careful Melissa that you're not overwhelming yourself with so many guys and so many dates okay

813
00:46:34.160 --> 00:46:40.000
I want you to just kind of again just kind of slow down a little bit just again enjoy the process

814
00:46:40.560 --> 00:46:47.360
that with that I think you're doing great. Yeah I'm talking to only two to three at a time right now

815
00:46:47.360 --> 00:46:52.560
and I have one maybe two dates a week so that's like and I mean like and it won't be with the

816
00:46:52.560 --> 00:46:57.280
same guy. And it's not overwhelming your life like you feel like there's balance in your life

817
00:46:57.280 --> 00:47:01.840
like you've got everything and okay that's because I think a couple weeks ago I think we kind of

818
00:47:01.840 --> 00:47:06.240
started seeing some of that and I was I was concerned there was like a lot of anxiousness

819
00:47:06.240 --> 00:47:11.680
and I was like oh I don't want you to feel like things are overwhelming you yeah so as long as

820
00:47:11.680 --> 00:47:16.640
you feel like you've got that then great like I'm so happy. Yeah I feel like it took a minute like

821
00:47:16.640 --> 00:47:21.120
Stephanie was saying just the overwhelm at first yeah advantage of these connections and it was

822
00:47:21.200 --> 00:47:26.720
too much and I just like took a breath and really like surrendered to the holy spirit like okay god

823
00:47:26.720 --> 00:47:32.000
which ones do you want me to pursue and connect with and just energy more and just realize I don't

824
00:47:32.000 --> 00:47:38.160
want this to like take over my life. Yeah exactly this this whole dating process ladies we want it

825
00:47:38.160 --> 00:47:45.440
to be fun for you we really do enjoy the process I mean I I struggled with this when I was in the

826
00:47:45.440 --> 00:47:50.560
program because I'm an anxious detacher I'm an overthinker I'm a rule follower gotta do the

827
00:47:50.560 --> 00:47:56.720
checklist like that was my that's me that's me in a nutshell okay I have control like control is

828
00:47:56.720 --> 00:48:02.080
a big thing for me that god's constantly working with me on even in my marriage and even with my

829
00:48:02.080 --> 00:48:09.760
kids and so um there was a lot of times that Jackie had to be like girl like slow down like

830
00:48:09.760 --> 00:48:16.240
slow your raw hair enjoy the process like stop projecting stop overthinking because I'm one of

831
00:48:16.240 --> 00:48:22.480
those people like I'm going to be several steps ahead like I am like the warrior queen where I'm

832
00:48:22.480 --> 00:48:26.960
like but what if this happens and what if this happens because I want to have a plan and Jackie's

833
00:48:26.960 --> 00:48:33.600
like girl you're gonna have to like release some of that so I get all of that so I'm so glad to

834
00:48:33.600 --> 00:48:40.800
hear that things are smoothing out for you um and that's amazing so so thank you so much for coming

835
00:48:40.800 --> 00:48:47.840
on and sharing okay Stacy you okay will the love seat thing tonight be available for um us in phase

836
00:48:47.840 --> 00:48:57.040
two replay I do not think it is it will be in the phase three rape replay I don't think it'll be in

837
00:48:57.040 --> 00:49:04.560
phase two I will double check with that let me just ask I'm gonna write it down right now so I can

838
00:49:05.120 --> 00:49:15.440
ask the team um if anything it'll be in replay once you get to phase three um and do I recommend

839
00:49:15.440 --> 00:49:21.280
looking through profiles or just looking at men that liked you already again this is one of those

840
00:49:21.280 --> 00:49:28.400
things like you get to decide how you manage it depending on um the capacity that you have

841
00:49:29.120 --> 00:49:35.280
so for me what I did because I had so like I would have a lot of likes

842
00:49:36.240 --> 00:49:40.880
I just focused on the likes because again I was a single mom I was a very busy woman

843
00:49:41.440 --> 00:49:47.840
so I could like I didn't have the bandwidth to look at all the things so I had to kind of pick

844
00:49:47.840 --> 00:49:52.800
what do I have the bandwidth for now now if you find that you're not getting a lot of likes

845
00:49:53.520 --> 00:49:58.880
and you have the time go look at some others again it could be it literally can be you get

846
00:49:58.880 --> 00:49:59.840
to decide every

847
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:05.520
day, what am I going to do today? Lord, how do you want me to navigate this online dating

848
00:50:05.520 --> 00:50:14.760
today? And just kind of go from there. Okay. Awesome. Okay. Katie, you're up next. I'm

849
00:50:14.760 --> 00:50:22.520
just reading through Stephanie's stuff so that I'm not missing anything. Good, good,

850
00:50:22.520 --> 00:50:32.360
good. Okay. I do think it's about structuring it so I can like it. It's only, um, I can't

851
00:50:32.360 --> 00:50:41.160
read that. Oh, I can only sustain something if I like it. Okay. So yeah, just enjoy it.

852
00:50:41.160 --> 00:50:50.320
I know. Right. Can God just Amazon Prime my husband to me, right? And you ladies, I don't

853
00:50:50.320 --> 00:50:54.400
know. Like Jackie always like there was one time I was listening to Jackie and she's like,

854
00:50:54.400 --> 00:50:58.960
she can't even say that anymore because one of the women, I think it was in our community

855
00:50:58.960 --> 00:51:06.600
way back. The, her husband was like her post man. Her husband actually was her mailman

856
00:51:06.600 --> 00:51:11.320
and he actually came to her door. So she's like, I can't even say that anymore because

857
00:51:11.320 --> 00:51:16.720
God has a unique way of bringing all your spirit mates. I will tell you that God is

858
00:51:16.720 --> 00:51:25.200
very intentional about your love story and I can attest like, like he's just really good

859
00:51:25.200 --> 00:51:28.920
and he's really intentional. Like I could have never envisioned and imagined my love

860
00:51:28.920 --> 00:51:35.600
story turned out the way that it did. Like it's, and it was so perfect the way God did

861
00:51:35.600 --> 00:51:40.600
it for me. Like God really spoke to my heart. He spoke to my husband's heart. He spoke to

862
00:51:40.600 --> 00:51:48.560
our kids' hearts and really showed us that that's what he wanted to combine. Like there

863
00:51:48.560 --> 00:51:54.440
was a purpose and a plan. Like he brought us together and it was really God confirmation

864
00:51:54.440 --> 00:52:02.600
and God was so intentional and even the timing was absolutely perfect. So just know God's

865
00:52:02.600 --> 00:52:07.720
got your love story written for you. All right. And we can fantasize what it might look like,

866
00:52:07.720 --> 00:52:13.000
but at the end of the day, God's got a better love story than we could ever imagine. Okay.

867
00:52:13.720 --> 00:52:18.760
All right, Katie, you are up next. You are, you're, this is your first time to Faith too?

868
00:52:19.640 --> 00:52:26.120
I've been here once, um, like, but it was like a month ago and then on vacation. And so now I'm

869
00:52:26.120 --> 00:52:33.240
like, gotcha. But now you're in like, you're like fully invested now, right? I'm here. Yeah.

870
00:52:33.240 --> 00:52:35.640
Awesome. Perfect. Okay. What question do you have?

871
00:52:36.600 --> 00:52:45.080
Yeah, well, I think I'm wrestling with like a bit of a scarcity mentality and I live in Seattle,

872
00:52:45.080 --> 00:52:50.920
which isn't like a super like stereotypically Christian area. I mean, there are a lot of

873
00:52:50.920 --> 00:52:56.520
churches up here, but it's not like the cultural norm. Um, yeah, but there's a ton of single men

874
00:52:56.520 --> 00:53:02.440
up here. Um, so that's tricky to navigate on the apps. I'm like, oh, there's a lot of like

875
00:53:02.440 --> 00:53:10.760
solid looking guys, but they all are like agnostic or yeah. Um, and it feels like all

876
00:53:10.760 --> 00:53:18.360
the Christian guys just seem really dorky. Um, okay. But so I guess my question is,

877
00:53:19.640 --> 00:53:25.480
I'm trying to like work through that scarcity mindset. And I've also,

878
00:53:26.280 --> 00:53:32.200
I feel like sometimes I'm just like, what do I need to do? Like, um, I put my apps in different

879
00:53:32.200 --> 00:53:38.920
cities and been like open to like moving, but then I've talked to guys long distance and that just

880
00:53:38.920 --> 00:53:45.720
like, hasn't worked out. Like it's been a few situations that I've been fully ghosted. Um,

881
00:53:45.720 --> 00:53:51.000
but okay. My question is, okay. I'm not being brief. Um, we're getting you on track. You're

882
00:53:51.480 --> 00:53:58.840
good. Yeah. At my church, like there are a handful of like in recent weeks, there's like a handful of

883
00:53:58.840 --> 00:54:09.080
like seemingly single men in my age range. And I just am like, I noticed myself on at church on

884
00:54:09.080 --> 00:54:17.800
Sunday being like a little fixated, like, oh, like maybe like, I'm just trying to figure out

885
00:54:17.800 --> 00:54:22.360
like, what's the balance of like, how do I kind of like engage with these guys without being

886
00:54:22.360 --> 00:54:27.640
in a scarcity mindset? And I've prayed, I've asked God, like, I'd kind of like to meet a guy

887
00:54:27.640 --> 00:54:38.120
off the app, like not on the apps. Um, not on apps. Okay. Like that's my, my prayer, but yeah,

888
00:54:38.120 --> 00:54:44.920
there's like my church, but I feel like they don't necessarily make a lot of effort to talk to me.

889
00:54:45.880 --> 00:54:48.040
Does your church have like a singles group?

890
00:54:49.960 --> 00:54:54.200
Um, no, they have a lot of stuff going on where like,

891
00:54:55.400 --> 00:54:59.640
there's like a happy hour once a month. And, um, so there's

892
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:09.800
opportunities. Okay, do you have some girlfriends at your church? Yeah, yeah. Okay, so I mean

893
00:55:09.800 --> 00:55:14.240
I'm just even thinking like if you guys can't so if there's some if there's a once a month

894
00:55:14.240 --> 00:55:19.640
there's like you know an event for singles when you're you know getting to know these

895
00:55:19.640 --> 00:55:25.120
guys you know just again you kind of see someone like oh hey you know I've never seen you around

896
00:55:25.120 --> 00:55:30.960
or I've noticed you here and you kind of like talk to them a little bit kind of get

897
00:55:30.960 --> 00:55:35.640
to know them on like a conversational level right you know you could be like hey have

898
00:55:35.640 --> 00:55:40.920
you do you are you aware of the singles meetups that we have once a month you should definitely

899
00:55:40.920 --> 00:55:46.520
check it out and just kind of drop that and like let them know and then as long as you're

900
00:55:46.520 --> 00:55:51.040
showing up to those and you then you're in a setting and again you're in a group setting

901
00:55:51.040 --> 00:55:56.960
and so that might be a way of just kind of again just showing interest getting to know

902
00:55:56.960 --> 00:56:02.640
people like letting guys know hey like here's a single thing so then that way they know

903
00:56:02.640 --> 00:56:09.080
you're single right and then they can be showing up if they're interested in just getting to

904
00:56:09.080 --> 00:56:17.720
know other singles okay so I would you know just find ways to do that but let's talk about

905
00:56:17.720 --> 00:56:22.520
the scarcity mindset I think it's I think it's good that you're recognizing like this

906
00:56:22.520 --> 00:56:28.680
is the mindset that you're operating in and so this is when we get to like okay it's obviously

907
00:56:28.680 --> 00:56:33.920
it's it's being revealed to you God's putting it there and showing you hey and you're in

908
00:56:33.920 --> 00:56:39.440
your heart you know that that's there so this is when we get to kind of go back to our tools

909
00:56:39.440 --> 00:56:46.440
from heart work and we can start saying okay God like help me see where I'm aligning with

910
00:56:46.480 --> 00:56:57.200
this what beliefs am I believing and even like where does this come from like when when did

911
00:56:57.200 --> 00:57:06.200
this enter when did this lie enter that there's not enough or I'm gonna miss out and then let's

912
00:57:06.200 --> 00:57:15.440
do some heart work on that mm-hmm so what and in Holy Spirit might reveal that to you right now

913
00:57:15.440 --> 00:57:21.040
you might need to go take some time with that is there anything that's coming to your mind where

914
00:57:21.040 --> 00:57:33.160
that belief that there's just not enough out there was there a situation that is coming to mind where

915
00:57:33.160 --> 00:57:40.240
that's where you felt this way does that make sense am I wording it wording it well mm-hmm

916
00:57:41.240 --> 00:57:50.240
is anything kind of coming up well I think there are some things from childhood of feeling like I

917
00:57:50.240 --> 00:57:59.440
am left out from this thing part of life like okay yeah definitely there's that stuff and then I feel

918
00:57:59.440 --> 00:58:07.240
like I always like in my 20s I always like with lat like spiritual eyes situations like I'd latch

919
00:58:07.240 --> 00:58:12.840
on to like a guy and be like oh that's the guy God has for me oh I see all the signs and like

920
00:58:12.840 --> 00:58:20.360
there's a spiritual eyes a over spiritual ization I think and I know doing that at church with like

921
00:58:20.360 --> 00:58:26.960
oh maybe that's the one and then I get a little before even like getting to know somebody yeah

922
00:58:26.960 --> 00:58:36.520
I did that too like because I was just I was so I just so desired to have companionship and

923
00:58:36.520 --> 00:58:45.920
relationship but one thing that I noticed is that I was putting so focused and thinking that and I'm

924
00:58:45.920 --> 00:58:56.160
speaking this for me okay so maybe you can relate I just wanted someone to come fill a void that

925
00:58:56.160 --> 00:59:03.600
only Jesus could fill and I had to work on certain things that I believed about myself so for my

926
00:59:03.600 --> 00:59:08.720
experience what I walk through especially coming through this program like one thing that God

927
00:59:08.720 --> 00:59:14.960
really revealed to me and worked and did heart work on me on was this feeling that I wasn't

928
00:59:14.960 --> 00:59:21.640
worthy I wasn't good enough no guy was going to like me no guy was gonna see me as a treasure

929
00:59:21.760 --> 00:59:29.960
because I wasn't good enough and so I had to do some serious heart work on where that came and

930
00:59:29.960 --> 00:59:36.920
when I started believing that and even a lot of the relationships that I found in I was constantly

931
00:59:36.920 --> 00:59:44.880
seeking validation and love and all the wrong ways and so I really had to spend time and God

932
00:59:44.880 --> 00:59:50.480
had to kind of walk me through and it's why I honestly think he brought that like when I was

933
00:59:50.480 --> 00:59:58.400
in this program some really amazing good men that weren't my spirit mate show me they were out there

934
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.920
and that those men could value me, even just as a sister in Christ.

935
01:00:05.160 --> 01:00:06.360
That they didn't have to see me.

936
01:00:06.360 --> 01:00:15.020
And then I learned how to be like, it was okay, because it wasn't, it wasn't

937
01:00:15.020 --> 01:00:20.640
rejection, so I had some stuff with rejection even, and so it's, it's part

938
01:00:20.640 --> 01:00:26.280
of this process is just, again, like, you know, why are we fixating it?

939
01:00:26.320 --> 01:00:27.640
What are we believing?

940
01:00:28.540 --> 01:00:32.000
Lord, help me reveal and show me what I need to work on.

941
01:00:32.000 --> 01:00:35.320
What, what are some of my beliefs, even about myself?

942
01:00:36.720 --> 01:00:43.300
So I, I hope that some of this is kind of helping you, um, give

943
01:00:43.300 --> 01:00:44.440
me some of your feedback.

944
01:00:44.440 --> 01:00:49.400
I'm, I'm interested, like I'm an external processor, so I don't

945
01:00:49.400 --> 01:00:50.980
know how you process things.

946
01:00:50.980 --> 01:00:54.240
If you need to kind of go sit with it, or if you need to process it out, just let me

947
01:00:54.240 --> 01:01:00.560
know, um, I think I'm a little bit of both, I think being like aware of time

948
01:01:00.560 --> 01:01:02.320
and stuff, I'm like, you're fine.

949
01:01:02.680 --> 01:01:03.880
Let's not worry about time right now.

950
01:01:03.880 --> 01:01:05.860
But I've got people, okay.

951
01:01:05.860 --> 01:01:07.520
We've still got like 10 minutes.

952
01:01:07.560 --> 01:01:09.760
I can go another 10 minutes over if I need to.

953
01:01:09.760 --> 01:01:10.020
Okay.

954
01:01:10.020 --> 01:01:12.720
So let's, we don't have to worry about that so much.

955
01:01:13.100 --> 01:01:13.680
Okay.

956
01:01:13.920 --> 01:01:14.420
Okay.

957
01:01:15.040 --> 01:01:21.280
Definitely feeling that, um, like I noticed myself when I'm out at a happy

958
01:01:21.280 --> 01:01:25.360
hour or something like feeling the need for validation or like, oh, if no guy's

959
01:01:25.360 --> 01:01:29.400
really chatted with me, I'll feel really bummed out.

960
01:01:29.440 --> 01:01:35.880
Like, um, like, oh God, like God doesn't have anybody for me.

961
01:01:35.880 --> 01:01:37.320
Nobody's, I don't know.

962
01:01:37.320 --> 01:01:38.840
I can kind of be extreme about it.

963
01:01:38.840 --> 01:01:43.360
And I think there is a sense, like a, an identity thing.

964
01:01:43.360 --> 01:01:45.400
And I've, I've been working on it for a while.

965
01:01:45.400 --> 01:01:46.440
It's just comes back.

966
01:01:46.760 --> 01:01:52.560
It comes back, um, in my, the way I feel like my reactions, I can think different.

967
01:01:52.560 --> 01:01:54.400
I'm like, I know this isn't true.

968
01:01:54.400 --> 01:01:56.900
I know I'm like a catch.

969
01:01:56.900 --> 01:02:03.480
I know I'm like no different from anybody else in terms of like being worthy of a,

970
01:02:04.200 --> 01:02:05.200
of love.

971
01:02:05.320 --> 01:02:11.200
Um, yeah, but I feel like my feelings are so can be really strong.

972
01:02:11.440 --> 01:02:14.360
Like if I sense like, oh, he didn't talk to me.

973
01:02:15.120 --> 01:02:22.040
I can all of a sudden just all of a sudden believe like, uh, I'm being left out from

974
01:02:22.040 --> 01:02:22.640
this thing.

975
01:02:22.840 --> 01:02:29.400
And I, and I'm 37 and I feel like, like, all right, my, I know these are all lies,

976
01:02:29.520 --> 01:02:33.200
but there's not like, I've missed the boat.

977
01:02:33.200 --> 01:02:36.400
I've, you know, and there is still, yeah.

978
01:02:36.440 --> 01:02:40.320
When you, when those types of things and you're recognizing that these are lies.

979
01:02:40.760 --> 01:02:41.240
Yeah.

980
01:02:41.840 --> 01:02:46.360
Have you ever practiced like speaking to the enemy and telling him to shove it?

981
01:02:48.480 --> 01:02:49.640
I mean, I had to do that.

982
01:02:50.400 --> 01:02:51.240
I really do.

983
01:02:51.240 --> 01:02:55.760
Like there were times that the enemy's presence would be really strong.

984
01:02:56.640 --> 01:02:57.000
Yeah.

985
01:02:57.000 --> 01:03:01.240
And I mean, I literally had to literally speak to him and being like, you're not

986
01:03:01.240 --> 01:03:02.920
going to lie to me anymore.

987
01:03:03.320 --> 01:03:04.280
This is what I'm getting.

988
01:03:04.280 --> 01:03:05.360
Holy spirit chills on this.

989
01:03:05.360 --> 01:03:05.840
Y'all.

990
01:03:06.080 --> 01:03:06.360
Yeah.

991
01:03:06.600 --> 01:03:08.160
My God says I'm loved.

992
01:03:08.200 --> 01:03:08.920
I'm precious.

993
01:03:08.960 --> 01:03:09.760
I'm treasured.

994
01:03:10.400 --> 01:03:13.800
He loves me and he's got the best for me.

995
01:03:14.000 --> 01:03:17.400
And you can't lie to me that I'm not worthy.

996
01:03:17.920 --> 01:03:18.400
Yeah.

997
01:03:18.680 --> 01:03:18.920
Yeah.

998
01:03:18.920 --> 01:03:23.640
You can take that lie and you can take it back to hell where it belongs because you

999
01:03:23.640 --> 01:03:28.280
don't have power over my life anymore and start speaking the blood of Jesus over

1000
01:03:28.280 --> 01:03:28.680
that.

1001
01:03:28.960 --> 01:03:29.320
Yeah.

1002
01:03:29.520 --> 01:03:29.800
Yeah.

1003
01:03:29.840 --> 01:03:32.800
Start like, start combating that.

1004
01:03:32.800 --> 01:03:37.920
Start taking, start taking it to him and start speaking to that.

1005
01:03:38.120 --> 01:03:43.120
Like, yeah, you can start fighting the enemy with the truth that God says about

1006
01:03:43.120 --> 01:03:43.680
you.

1007
01:03:44.560 --> 01:03:47.840
And that's how you honestly, like, that's how you can come back.

1008
01:03:48.080 --> 01:03:52.720
He like, cause, and I can relate to this because I had struggles with my identity

1009
01:03:52.720 --> 01:03:53.320
as well.

1010
01:03:53.680 --> 01:03:53.960
Yeah.

1011
01:03:54.000 --> 01:04:01.320
And it was when I started taking authority over what God said about me, that started

1012
01:04:01.320 --> 01:04:02.200
breaking off.

1013
01:04:02.880 --> 01:04:06.600
And then I like got, Holy spirit was like, you are precious gift.

1014
01:04:06.920 --> 01:04:09.280
I'm going to show you how you're a precious gift.

1015
01:04:09.560 --> 01:04:11.800
And those types of situations start happening.

1016
01:04:11.800 --> 01:04:17.640
And I do think that's when all of a sudden God started bringing me good men, not, not

1017
01:04:17.640 --> 01:04:22.400
even like, cause they were my husband, just be like, look, you're now attracting men

1018
01:04:22.400 --> 01:04:27.440
that are attracted to you, that find value in you just as who you are as a sister in

1019
01:04:27.440 --> 01:04:28.160
Christ.

1020
01:04:28.440 --> 01:04:28.800
Yeah.

1021
01:04:28.840 --> 01:04:34.120
And so that helped me then once my husband came and he really true, like my husband,

1022
01:04:34.120 --> 01:04:35.960
like he adores me.

1023
01:04:36.600 --> 01:04:36.840
Yeah.

1024
01:04:36.880 --> 01:04:38.040
Sometimes I'm like, what?

1025
01:04:38.080 --> 01:04:43.680
Like, and I like, I could actually receive it because ladies, it's important that you

1026
01:04:43.680 --> 01:04:51.880
start taking hold of who you are and who's you are because you're going to like, your

1027
01:04:51.880 --> 01:04:53.560
husband's going to see you that way.

1028
01:04:55.000 --> 01:04:55.160
Yeah.

1029
01:04:55.160 --> 01:04:57.440
And you can just start like, I believe it.

1030
01:04:58.000 --> 01:05:00.040
I believe that about myself.

1031
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.800
So that you can start walking in who God says you are.

1032
01:05:04.800 --> 01:05:12.600
I think I want to encourage you when those thoughts come up, you start fighting the enemy.

1033
01:05:12.600 --> 01:05:20.040
You go to battle and say, look, look, dude, like, look here, Satan, not today, like the

1034
01:05:20.040 --> 01:05:21.520
victory's already been won.

1035
01:05:21.520 --> 01:05:27.160
You have no power over me and who you can't lie to me because here's the thing.

1036
01:05:27.160 --> 01:05:38.000
And the enemy is so like, he's like, he's only like, he's so basic, right?

1037
01:05:38.000 --> 01:05:39.600
He's so predictable.

1038
01:05:39.600 --> 01:05:45.720
And once we can realize and predict how he's going to come at us, there's no, there's no

1039
01:05:45.720 --> 01:05:46.720
competing.

1040
01:05:46.720 --> 01:05:47.720
Yeah.

1041
01:05:47.720 --> 01:05:52.960
And so when you start seeing that, I want you to start taking it and having authority

1042
01:05:52.960 --> 01:05:57.480
of it and using that Holy Spirit authority that lives inside you and start speaking to

1043
01:05:57.480 --> 01:06:03.520
that because the enemy wants to trap you in that thinking.

1044
01:06:03.520 --> 01:06:07.840
And I think it's time to start releasing that and start, you know, again, where does that

1045
01:06:07.840 --> 01:06:08.840
come from?

1046
01:06:08.840 --> 01:06:12.360
Holy Spirit, like you're going to speak to that and then Holy Spirit's going to start

1047
01:06:12.360 --> 01:06:18.040
showing you and it's going to help you start getting some, some of those breakthroughs.

1048
01:06:18.040 --> 01:06:21.240
So those revealings for healing.

1049
01:06:21.240 --> 01:06:24.440
So I want, I, I feel very strong about this.

1050
01:06:24.440 --> 01:06:30.760
I really feel Holy Spirit's presence and I really think that you're going to start seeing

1051
01:06:30.760 --> 01:06:31.760
some breakthrough.

1052
01:06:31.760 --> 01:06:32.760
Yeah.

1053
01:06:32.760 --> 01:06:33.760
Start claiming it.

1054
01:06:33.760 --> 01:06:34.760
Okay.

1055
01:06:34.760 --> 01:06:35.880
Thank you so much for sharing this.

1056
01:06:35.880 --> 01:06:38.200
I think that was powerful ladies.

1057
01:06:38.200 --> 01:06:44.000
And I also think like Katie, I just appreciate you coming and sharing because a lot of women

1058
01:06:44.000 --> 01:06:50.560
need to see how even when it's scary to come to our lives and, and, and, you know, share

1059
01:06:50.560 --> 01:06:55.080
and be vulnerable, like Holy Spirit really can move and shift.

1060
01:06:55.080 --> 01:06:59.680
I think this probably is not going to even give you, not just give you breakthrough,

1061
01:06:59.680 --> 01:07:03.160
but I think there's other people on this call right now and that are even going to watch

1062
01:07:03.160 --> 01:07:09.640
in, in replay that it's going to help like ladies take hold.

1063
01:07:09.640 --> 01:07:14.520
The enemy has no control over you anymore and your love stories.

1064
01:07:14.520 --> 01:07:17.880
All right.

1065
01:07:17.880 --> 01:07:18.960
Keep us posted.

1066
01:07:18.960 --> 01:07:19.960
Keep coming back.

1067
01:07:19.960 --> 01:07:20.960
Keep showing up.

1068
01:07:20.960 --> 01:07:21.960
Yeah.

1069
01:07:21.960 --> 01:07:24.720
Stephanie, I'm so glad that helped you as well.

1070
01:07:24.720 --> 01:07:25.720
Awesome.

1071
01:07:25.720 --> 01:07:26.720
Yeah.

1072
01:07:26.720 --> 01:07:31.720
Y'all like I, I'm a feeler and I got the Holy Spirit right now.

1073
01:07:31.720 --> 01:07:36.080
Like I feel it like it's, it's good.

1074
01:07:36.080 --> 01:07:37.800
So I'm, I'm so thankful.

1075
01:07:37.800 --> 01:07:40.640
So again, don't worry about the time.

1076
01:07:40.640 --> 01:07:41.640
Show up.

1077
01:07:41.640 --> 01:07:42.640
Okay.

1078
01:07:42.640 --> 01:07:43.640
Thank you.

1079
01:07:43.640 --> 01:07:44.640
Thanks.

1080
01:07:44.640 --> 01:07:45.640
All right.

1081
01:07:45.640 --> 01:07:46.640
I got Amanda.

1082
01:07:46.640 --> 01:07:47.640
And then I got Anya.

1083
01:07:47.640 --> 01:07:48.640
I think I pronounced her name, right?

1084
01:07:48.640 --> 01:07:49.640
I don't know.

1085
01:07:49.640 --> 01:07:50.640
I hope I did.

1086
01:07:50.640 --> 01:07:51.640
And then Lily wanted to go last.

1087
01:07:51.640 --> 01:07:52.640
So yeah, I'm going to take those last three.

1088
01:07:52.640 --> 01:07:53.640
Even if we go a little bit over, I'm fine.

1089
01:07:53.640 --> 01:07:54.640
Let's still try to keep it short, brief and powerful.

1090
01:07:54.640 --> 01:07:55.640
But I think we really needed to get to that.

1091
01:07:55.640 --> 01:07:56.640
I'm, I'm happy that we took time on that, Katie.

1092
01:07:56.640 --> 01:07:57.640
So thank you.

1093
01:07:57.640 --> 01:08:13.680
Um, and then if any of you have something that you want to share, come into the app

1094
01:08:13.680 --> 01:08:15.360
and share that as well.

1095
01:08:15.360 --> 01:08:16.359
Okay.

1096
01:08:16.359 --> 01:08:17.359
Um, all right.

1097
01:08:17.359 --> 01:08:18.359
Amanda, how are you?

1098
01:08:18.359 --> 01:08:19.359
Spring break time.

1099
01:08:19.359 --> 01:08:20.359
I'm doing pretty good.

1100
01:08:20.359 --> 01:08:21.359
Yeah.

1101
01:08:21.359 --> 01:08:27.359
Life has been really full, so it's taken me a little bit longer in phase two than I thought.

1102
01:08:28.080 --> 01:08:29.800
Um, I was really excited.

1103
01:08:29.800 --> 01:08:31.920
I think I've shared a little bit of this.

1104
01:08:31.920 --> 01:08:35.520
Some people are new, but like in January I was like ready to hit the ground running,

1105
01:08:35.520 --> 01:08:37.279
ready to start my profile.

1106
01:08:37.279 --> 01:08:39.080
I was like ready to date.

1107
01:08:39.080 --> 01:08:40.720
I was ready for these seven dates.

1108
01:08:40.720 --> 01:08:47.120
And then I came to the first life session and broke down like I am terrified.

1109
01:08:47.120 --> 01:08:49.000
So I'm in that process.

1110
01:08:49.000 --> 01:08:51.439
I've really been doing the revealing for healing cycle.

1111
01:08:51.439 --> 01:08:56.560
So working through some of those fears of men, fears of dating, all those past traumas

1112
01:08:56.760 --> 01:09:03.880
In the meantime, I've been, um, I've been talking to dating, um, one man and it's a

1113
01:09:03.880 --> 01:09:05.880
man that I've known from the past.

1114
01:09:05.880 --> 01:09:13.200
Um, and I'm giving him a chance, um, to me with our interactions, it stayed like one

1115
01:09:13.200 --> 01:09:19.240
or two, you know, like we've been, we've seen each other face to face maybe since January,

1116
01:09:19.240 --> 01:09:24.560
since the end of January, maybe three or four times, a handful of times, something as simple

1117
01:09:24.560 --> 01:09:28.279
as a breakfast, maybe a shopping, something very, very simple.

1118
01:09:28.279 --> 01:09:29.840
We talk daily.

1119
01:09:29.840 --> 01:09:32.240
Um, we're good friends.

1120
01:09:32.240 --> 01:09:33.240
We've been good friends.

1121
01:09:33.240 --> 01:09:34.800
So that those things haven't changed.

1122
01:09:34.800 --> 01:09:36.560
I know I'm pretty well.

1123
01:09:36.560 --> 01:09:42.319
The thing is, um, I'm feeling like, like it's still at that lower level.

1124
01:09:42.319 --> 01:09:46.580
He hasn't made any talk for exclusivity specifically.

1125
01:09:46.580 --> 01:09:47.680
Will you be my girlfriend?

1126
01:09:47.680 --> 01:09:53.399
I want to pursue something full time, you know, like fully, but he'll make small comments

1127
01:09:53.399 --> 01:09:54.960
like, okay, you're my girl.

1128
01:09:54.960 --> 01:10:00.000
Like little things like that, but not asking like those types of things.

1129
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:11.240
And in the past in relationships, I found myself waiting and waiting and waiting years

1130
01:10:11.240 --> 01:10:12.240
of waiting.

1131
01:10:12.240 --> 01:10:13.240
Yeah.

1132
01:10:13.240 --> 01:10:16.880
So I want to continue on.

1133
01:10:16.880 --> 01:10:22.560
I don't like, it's that dating multiple people at a time, you know?

1134
01:10:22.560 --> 01:10:31.840
So in one hand, I feel like if I continue to move on and look into dating, get my feet

1135
01:10:31.840 --> 01:10:40.280
out there a little bit, that I'm being disrespectful to him because I can feel that he's trying

1136
01:10:40.280 --> 01:10:41.280
to have something.

1137
01:10:41.280 --> 01:10:42.280
Yeah.

1138
01:10:42.280 --> 01:10:43.280
And that's what I'm saying.

1139
01:10:43.280 --> 01:10:47.560
There's some past stuff, so this is where it does get a little tricky.

1140
01:10:47.560 --> 01:10:55.040
And so, you know, you're taking the advice, like the exclusive talk, obviously you're

1141
01:10:55.040 --> 01:10:57.760
letting him lead that and he's not doing that.

1142
01:10:57.760 --> 01:11:06.960
I think because this is a different circumstance, this is when where I would probably, because

1143
01:11:06.960 --> 01:11:11.480
I can hear, I mean, I can kind of even hear in your voice that you're getting choked up

1144
01:11:11.480 --> 01:11:13.480
about the waiting part.

1145
01:11:13.480 --> 01:11:20.880
And so I think you're probably seeing that that's kind of the pattern that's starting

1146
01:11:20.880 --> 01:11:23.060
to happen with him now.

1147
01:11:23.060 --> 01:11:30.880
And it's keeping you from going really into practicing the discovery dating over here

1148
01:11:30.880 --> 01:11:37.000
because you still have this past relationship that's still uncertain.

1149
01:11:37.000 --> 01:11:44.480
And so, you know, how do you feel about having a very candid, transparent conversation and

1150
01:11:44.480 --> 01:11:54.280
having some open communication and saying, look, it's really hard for me when you make

1151
01:11:54.280 --> 01:12:00.400
comments about I'm your girl and we're still very unclear with what's going on here.

1152
01:12:00.400 --> 01:12:05.160
And you can even be honest as you're not even sure where you want it to go.

1153
01:12:05.160 --> 01:12:06.440
I mean, that's my question.

1154
01:12:06.440 --> 01:12:12.040
If this guy said, I want to be an exclusive relationship with you, what would your response

1155
01:12:12.040 --> 01:12:15.280
to him to be?

1156
01:12:15.280 --> 01:12:16.720
I really don't even know.

1157
01:12:16.720 --> 01:12:21.360
Like part of me wants to explore because I even had a dream that I think is really related

1158
01:12:21.360 --> 01:12:22.360
to this.

1159
01:12:22.360 --> 01:12:27.000
I had a dream that I was in an airport and I had a carry on bag and I was going to carry

1160
01:12:27.000 --> 01:12:33.640
this bag on to the plane with me, but I was stuck at like bag, like check, trying to check

1161
01:12:33.640 --> 01:12:34.640
this bag.

1162
01:12:35.640 --> 01:12:37.800
And it was really hard for me to check this bag.

1163
01:12:37.800 --> 01:12:41.400
And I like at toward the end of the dream, I'm like, why am I even trying to check this

1164
01:12:41.400 --> 01:12:42.400
bag?

1165
01:12:42.400 --> 01:12:43.400
This, I can carry it on.

1166
01:12:43.400 --> 01:12:45.960
Like, why am I holding onto this?

1167
01:12:45.960 --> 01:12:48.160
Like why am I trying, you know, like what am I trying to do here?

1168
01:12:48.160 --> 01:12:53.960
And I think it was something with this situation, like something's keeping me held, something's

1169
01:12:53.960 --> 01:12:55.240
holding me.

1170
01:12:55.240 --> 01:13:00.360
So whether it's him or whether it's just the thoughts of the connectedness, the attachment

1171
01:13:00.360 --> 01:13:04.440
kind of things that I've had, the waiting period in the past, whatever it is, there's

1172
01:13:05.240 --> 01:13:06.240
something that's connected there.

1173
01:13:06.240 --> 01:13:09.840
Like something's holding me and I'm like, I should be able to just, I can take this

1174
01:13:09.840 --> 01:13:10.840
with me.

1175
01:13:10.840 --> 01:13:13.640
What do you think that carry on represents?

1176
01:13:13.640 --> 01:13:14.840
I really don't know.

1177
01:13:14.840 --> 01:13:22.880
Part of it was, part of me was wondering if it was like, in a sense him, like if he hasn't

1178
01:13:22.880 --> 01:13:31.120
made this full notion, like my, my thought is, do I need to tell him, you know, like,

1179
01:13:31.120 --> 01:13:32.880
do I owe that to him to tell him?

1180
01:13:32.880 --> 01:13:36.880
And then part of me says, yes, part of me is like, why do I even want to carry it in

1181
01:13:36.880 --> 01:13:37.880
the first place?

1182
01:13:37.880 --> 01:13:38.880
Could I even just drop it?

1183
01:13:38.880 --> 01:13:40.040
Do I even need this bag?

1184
01:13:40.040 --> 01:13:41.760
Like, those are things that were happening in my dream.

1185
01:13:41.760 --> 01:13:42.760
Why am I waiting here?

1186
01:13:42.760 --> 01:13:44.000
I'm going to miss my flight.

1187
01:13:44.000 --> 01:13:46.240
You're like, why am I not getting on this flight?

1188
01:13:46.240 --> 01:13:47.240
What's more important?

1189
01:13:47.240 --> 01:13:49.680
Like what's more important getting on this flight or this bag?

1190
01:13:49.680 --> 01:13:50.680
Right.

1191
01:13:50.680 --> 01:13:55.000
So whether I check it, whether I leave it, whether I carry it on with me, why is this

1192
01:13:55.000 --> 01:13:56.960
bag holding me back?

1193
01:13:56.960 --> 01:13:57.960
So yeah.

1194
01:13:57.960 --> 01:13:59.680
And it could have been many things.

1195
01:13:59.680 --> 01:14:01.480
And that's what I'm saying.

1196
01:14:01.480 --> 01:14:07.920
Like I, like I have learned and I'm not, I'm still learning how to interpret dreams well.

1197
01:14:07.920 --> 01:14:10.840
Like I've gotten to the point where I can kind of get an idea of what God's trying to

1198
01:14:10.840 --> 01:14:13.960
show me in dreams.

1199
01:14:13.960 --> 01:14:16.680
I really do always ask the Holy Spirit to kind of show me those.

1200
01:14:16.680 --> 01:14:20.840
So I would spend some time, you know, I would encourage you to spend some time like what

1201
01:14:20.840 --> 01:14:26.960
and reflect on that, you know, and sometimes God doesn't tell us right away.

1202
01:14:26.960 --> 01:14:31.120
Sometimes like I, there's been dreams that I have had for several, like several years

1203
01:14:31.120 --> 01:14:37.280
ago that I got some information and insight on, like Holy Spirit spoke to me, whether

1204
01:14:37.280 --> 01:14:40.360
he spoke to my heart or he spoke through somebody else.

1205
01:14:40.360 --> 01:14:46.080
And then, you know, months go by and then another piece gets revealed.

1206
01:14:46.080 --> 01:14:51.120
Like it's not always this, I read, get all of it revealed.

1207
01:14:51.120 --> 01:14:57.200
And so I think spending time with that, but considering what you're sharing, and then

1208
01:14:57.200 --> 01:15:00.000
this dream, there does feel like.

1209
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:06.320
There's a lot of very similar correlation where the airplane is this,

1210
01:15:07.040 --> 01:15:12.940
you know, really take off, like get on board and take off with what God wants

1211
01:15:12.940 --> 01:15:18.200
to show you through the dating process and where it can take you, but you've

1212
01:15:18.200 --> 01:15:22.200
got this hat, this carry on kind of like something's holding you there.

1213
01:15:23.420 --> 01:15:27.460
And so I think, you know, you have an opportunity if like, you

1214
01:15:27.460 --> 01:15:28.880
know, how do you approach it?

1215
01:15:29.260 --> 01:15:33.200
How have you opened up to this man about this program?

1216
01:15:33.340 --> 01:15:38.420
Does he know that you are in a program of, of learning how to

1217
01:15:38.420 --> 01:15:41.540
date and getting out there?

1218
01:15:42.260 --> 01:15:45.700
Yeah, that's been really good too, because I've been able to

1219
01:15:45.700 --> 01:15:46.880
practice some of those things.

1220
01:15:46.880 --> 01:15:50.160
Like you can see that, like some boundaries that I've set, some

1221
01:15:50.160 --> 01:15:53.320
clarities from where in the past I would just kind of go along with

1222
01:15:53.320 --> 01:15:55.940
whatever, you know, and kind of sacrifice what I wanted because I

1223
01:15:55.940 --> 01:16:00.560
was attaching really strong, like really wanting that relationship and things.

1224
01:16:00.560 --> 01:16:04.640
So those things, those haven't scared him per se, you know, he has been like,

1225
01:16:04.640 --> 01:16:07.640
oh, this woman is a different, you know, that's actually more attractive.

1226
01:16:07.640 --> 01:16:07.960
You know?

1227
01:16:09.280 --> 01:16:18.360
You know, if it were me, um, I would, I mean, again, he's someone from your

1228
01:16:18.360 --> 01:16:26.220
past, so you have a bit of a, of the ability to have more of an open, honest

1229
01:16:26.220 --> 01:16:32.460
conversation, like really kind of get down to, yeah, there's some more depth

1230
01:16:32.460 --> 01:16:38.380
that can be there where I think having an honest conversation with him and just

1231
01:16:38.380 --> 01:16:46.140
say, look, I'm really struggling with, you know, spending time with you and

1232
01:16:46.140 --> 01:16:49.040
really not knowing where we're going with this, and I don't even know

1233
01:16:49.040 --> 01:16:50.280
where we want to go with this.

1234
01:16:50.760 --> 01:16:52.920
I'm not really sure what I want right now.

1235
01:16:53.000 --> 01:16:54.760
I enjoy spending time with you.

1236
01:16:54.760 --> 01:17:01.920
I enjoy, um, you know, continuing to see like, and to develop our, you know,

1237
01:17:02.000 --> 01:17:07.800
friendship, um, but I also feel like it's important for me to get out there

1238
01:17:07.800 --> 01:17:13.360
and date other people, and I'm concerned that our interactions is holding me

1239
01:17:13.360 --> 01:17:19.260
back from really taking a step forward and doing some of the things that I need

1240
01:17:19.260 --> 01:17:25.020
to do for me, and so I think it's just as when you have really an honest

1241
01:17:25.020 --> 01:17:29.540
conversation with them and, and it's, you're going to have some, some feelings

1242
01:17:29.540 --> 01:17:34.660
and some thoughts and, you know, really taking some, uh, you know, some

1243
01:17:34.660 --> 01:17:40.060
accountability and, and being strong and bold in your conversation with him.

1244
01:17:40.920 --> 01:17:44.800
So, um, yeah.

1245
01:17:45.340 --> 01:17:46.360
What are your thoughts?

1246
01:17:47.360 --> 01:17:50.200
Well, I think I've already stepped out a little bit.

1247
01:17:50.200 --> 01:17:57.880
I haven't had that conversation, but I was, um, I feel like I did something crazy

1248
01:17:57.880 --> 01:17:58.300
today.

1249
01:17:59.900 --> 01:18:09.780
Um, but I emailed, um, admin about like a, somebody that had been a

1250
01:18:09.780 --> 01:18:11.860
single spotlight that I had seen.

1251
01:18:12.380 --> 01:18:12.880
Good.

1252
01:18:13.720 --> 01:18:14.980
And so that felt crazy.

1253
01:18:14.980 --> 01:18:17.660
I was like, oh my gosh, I don't even know if I'm ready for this.

1254
01:18:18.020 --> 01:18:18.820
Like, that's what I said.

1255
01:18:20.020 --> 01:18:25.900
But it was something that I was like, I'd seen it a few like, um, well,

1256
01:18:25.920 --> 01:18:30.040
actually I've seen it a year ago, you know, not the single spotlight,

1257
01:18:30.040 --> 01:18:31.400
but the person a year ago.

1258
01:18:31.920 --> 01:18:34.760
And then it came up as a senior, a single spotlight.

1259
01:18:34.760 --> 01:18:39.280
I was like, oh, okay, well, let me just explore.

1260
01:18:39.580 --> 01:18:41.520
Like, that's what I'm going to have to do is discover.

1261
01:18:42.160 --> 01:18:49.180
I'm really kind of sensing this because you've even brought up that your

1262
01:18:49.180 --> 01:18:52.380
interaction with other men and single men has been something that you've

1263
01:18:52.380 --> 01:18:53.340
struggled with that.

1264
01:18:53.400 --> 01:18:58.580
I'm wondering if that's part of your process and, and really

1265
01:18:58.580 --> 01:19:00.040
getting comfortable with that.

1266
01:19:00.660 --> 01:19:05.840
And because you've got this past guy over here, it's really keeping you from

1267
01:19:05.840 --> 01:19:12.000
this process of exploring and learning more about yourself and discovering more

1268
01:19:12.000 --> 01:19:14.720
about yourself and getting some breakthrough in that way.

1269
01:19:15.060 --> 01:19:18.160
And it's hard for you to get through that process when you're

1270
01:19:18.160 --> 01:19:19.320
being held up over here.

1271
01:19:20.180 --> 01:19:26.180
So I would even just encourage you to maybe let this guy know, look for right

1272
01:19:26.180 --> 01:19:33.300
now, I need to put this on hold as far as us going romantically.

1273
01:19:34.780 --> 01:19:40.260
I, I need to spend some time exploring what dating other people look like.

1274
01:19:43.100 --> 01:19:43.860
Because here's the thing.

1275
01:19:44.280 --> 01:19:50.160
If that man is your spirit mate, he's going to respect your, your process.

1276
01:19:54.160 --> 01:19:54.660
Yeah.

1277
01:19:55.440 --> 01:19:58.440
Are you, how are you feeling about having that hard conversation?

1278
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:02.000
Conversation with him

1279
01:20:02.940 --> 01:20:04.940
It's gonna be hard

1280
01:20:07.200 --> 01:20:09.200
I wonder if

1281
01:20:12.080 --> 01:20:18.640
Spend some time in prayer about it and but I'm getting a really strong feeling that

1282
01:20:21.960 --> 01:20:24.280
It is holding you back a little bit I

1283
01:20:24.960 --> 01:20:28.320
Think you know what? I think that's why there's I'm

1284
01:20:28.840 --> 01:20:30.840
like I'm hearing a lot of

1285
01:20:31.480 --> 01:20:34.600
Choking up and emotion that there's some

1286
01:20:35.600 --> 01:20:37.600
anxiousness and

1287
01:20:37.800 --> 01:20:39.800
that's scary and

1288
01:20:40.080 --> 01:20:46.440
I think once you can kind of walk through it and do it. I think it's gonna start revealing a lot more for you and

1289
01:20:47.400 --> 01:20:50.280
Some breakthroughs are gonna happen. And again

1290
01:20:51.040 --> 01:20:56.000
Understand that if this man is your spirit mate, you're not going to mess it up

1291
01:20:58.760 --> 01:21:03.960
But I think it's going to be important for you to walk through some of this process and

1292
01:21:04.480 --> 01:21:06.680
Get some breakthroughs in some other areas

1293
01:21:12.360 --> 01:21:14.760
I want to give you some time here. So, how are you?

1294
01:21:20.280 --> 01:21:22.280
You

1295
01:21:26.840 --> 01:21:28.840
Are some fears coming up

1296
01:21:38.400 --> 01:21:40.400
Yeah, yeah

1297
01:21:42.960 --> 01:21:46.280
It's fears that I've been working on yeah

1298
01:21:46.280 --> 01:21:53.080
Do your journal we're there yeah, no recently, you know, yeah, not really

1299
01:21:55.800 --> 01:21:57.800
That I didn't recognize yeah

1300
01:21:59.160 --> 01:22:01.720
And here's the thing is God wants to heal those areas

1301
01:22:03.480 --> 01:22:11.960
And that's why sometimes you know these opportunities like happen in these situations happen because the biggest picture is God wants us healed

1302
01:22:12.920 --> 01:22:15.320
You know, yes, he wants to give us the husband's

1303
01:22:15.960 --> 01:22:20.200
But his bigger goal is to heal us as well. And then we get healed in a relationship

1304
01:22:20.920 --> 01:22:23.560
No, we haven't been hurt in a relationship. We get healed in a relationship

1305
01:22:24.280 --> 01:22:28.120
And sometimes all these opportunities and all these situations start coming

1306
01:22:28.760 --> 01:22:32.280
So that we can really fully, you know gain that healing

1307
01:22:36.440 --> 01:22:38.440
And

1308
01:22:38.440 --> 01:22:40.440
Do you journal

1309
01:22:41.000 --> 01:22:43.640
Yeah, yeah, I would spend some time with that

1310
01:22:45.480 --> 01:22:47.480
And then

1311
01:22:48.360 --> 01:22:54.200
Yeah, spend spend time this week just really journaling like you've got the freedom of some spring break

1312
01:22:54.760 --> 01:22:56.760
You know and go out and have fun, too

1313
01:22:57.560 --> 01:22:59.560
Go have fun

1314
01:22:59.560 --> 01:23:04.680
And just really pray about how God wants you to approach this, you know situation with this guy

1315
01:23:04.680 --> 01:23:07.480
But I do think you're going to get some breakthrough

1316
01:23:08.680 --> 01:23:11.400
And you're going to get to face some of those fears head-on

1317
01:23:12.760 --> 01:23:15.640
And once you do God's really going to show you just how

1318
01:23:16.260 --> 01:23:19.240
Empowered you are and how so much he is with you

1319
01:23:22.120 --> 01:23:24.120
All right

1320
01:23:24.200 --> 01:23:26.840
And then just keep continue to keep showing up. Keep us posted

1321
01:23:27.560 --> 01:23:29.320
All right

1322
01:23:29.320 --> 01:23:31.320
Yeah, we're here to walk alongside you

1323
01:23:32.360 --> 01:23:34.360
And support you in any way that we can

1324
01:23:37.080 --> 01:23:39.080
All right

1325
01:23:39.720 --> 01:23:44.200
All right, go have like be compressed. All right journal

1326
01:23:45.320 --> 01:23:47.320
Keep us posted

1327
01:23:47.320 --> 01:23:49.320
Keep us posted

1328
01:23:49.320 --> 01:23:51.320
Keep us posted

1329
01:23:51.320 --> 01:23:53.320
Keep us posted

1330
01:23:53.320 --> 01:23:55.320
Keep us posted

1331
01:23:55.320 --> 01:23:57.320
Keep us posted

1332
01:23:57.320 --> 01:24:01.320
Be compressed. All right journal have some but do something fun today

1333
01:24:02.200 --> 01:24:04.200
Okay

1334
01:24:04.440 --> 01:24:06.440
All right, Anya

1335
01:24:07.400 --> 01:24:12.040
Is that did I say it right you did uh, Anya, but close yeah

1336
01:24:13.160 --> 01:24:14.600
Okay, it's okay

1337
01:24:14.600 --> 01:24:19.720
I'll get there. I will get there. Ebony's butchered it way worse for weeks, but she's got it now

1338
01:24:22.280 --> 01:24:26.920
It's hard because I used to work with a girl her name was Anya and she spelled it Ian

1339
01:24:27.400 --> 01:24:32.520
So that's like that's how i've said that name and so i'm not saying Anya i'm saying

1340
01:24:33.160 --> 01:24:36.280
Anya, so I will get better. It's totally fair

1341
01:24:37.560 --> 01:24:39.560
All right, what you got for us?

1342
01:24:40.200 --> 01:24:45.160
um, just a follow-up from uh, my date on saturday, so

1343
01:24:46.280 --> 01:24:47.800
um

1344
01:24:47.800 --> 01:24:49.560
I uh

1345
01:24:49.560 --> 01:24:51.820
Yeah, it was it was an interesting conversation

1346
01:24:52.700 --> 01:24:57.420
Um, and I think I just sorry i'm just putting this on do not disturb because I just got a call come through

1347
01:24:57.820 --> 01:24:59.260
um

1348
01:24:59.260 --> 01:25:01.260
I think I just

1349
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:04.880
I just needed a little bit of process and maybe a little bit of wisdom on it.

1350
01:25:04.880 --> 01:25:09.560
I've been trying to spend some time praying about it too, but basically where things landed

1351
01:25:09.560 --> 01:25:14.960
is we did get to talk, like he shared a bit of his testimony.

1352
01:25:14.960 --> 01:25:20.700
I use different language because it's like, this is like a whole new world to him.

1353
01:25:20.700 --> 01:25:25.680
And I think it's really, I really do think there's even a reason that we connected.

1354
01:25:25.680 --> 01:25:29.920
He's expressed it and he expressed it again, even texting yesterday, like that even for

1355
01:25:29.920 --> 01:25:37.280
himself with the Lord, he just is even more hungry.

1356
01:25:37.280 --> 01:25:39.760
But it wasn't even just his answers.

1357
01:25:39.760 --> 01:25:41.960
It's not like, oh no, he believes in that thing.

1358
01:25:41.960 --> 01:25:43.840
And I'm like, that's a no-go.

1359
01:25:43.840 --> 01:25:49.760
It was more, I think just a realization of how new he is to everything.

1360
01:25:49.760 --> 01:25:56.840
Even with what I feel called to, I'm just not sure that, it's not that we couldn't

1361
01:25:56.840 --> 01:26:04.360
grow together or stuff, but he's new, new, new, new to faith in general.

1362
01:26:04.360 --> 01:26:06.920
And even what following Jesus really looks like.

1363
01:26:06.920 --> 01:26:10.200
Remind me, you have ministry in your DNA, right?

1364
01:26:10.200 --> 01:26:15.440
So yeah, you're going to need someone that's going to be able to partner with that.

1365
01:26:15.640 --> 01:26:24.560
I lead worship, I teach, yeah, all sorts of things, but in leadership, in ministry.

1366
01:26:24.560 --> 01:26:30.920
And so there was also, I know he was nervous, I know it was awkward because this has been

1367
01:26:30.920 --> 01:26:37.200
for him like, I don't want this to be the end or to be the thing that gets between us.

1368
01:26:37.200 --> 01:26:41.200
But to a degree, almost a little dismissive because of it of, well, these aren't really

1369
01:26:41.200 --> 01:26:42.200
big differences.

1370
01:26:42.200 --> 01:26:44.920
And I'm like, but they are.

1371
01:26:44.920 --> 01:26:47.000
Where we're at is just so different.

1372
01:26:47.000 --> 01:26:48.000
Yeah.

1373
01:26:48.000 --> 01:26:49.000
Yeah.

1374
01:26:49.000 --> 01:26:56.240
Trying to kind of process, I think you're probably, you know, that this is now a no.

1375
01:26:56.240 --> 01:27:01.000
He probably is like, no, I don't want it to be a no.

1376
01:27:01.000 --> 01:27:02.400
He's asking about our next date.

1377
01:27:02.400 --> 01:27:06.920
And I keep ignoring that text and just answering the others.

1378
01:27:06.920 --> 01:27:12.680
This is actually, I like that this is being brought up because we teach here at Last Year

1379
01:27:12.680 --> 01:27:20.440
Single that at the end of the day, in any dating interactions that y'all have, we really

1380
01:27:20.440 --> 01:27:23.920
want to encourage you ladies to leave.

1381
01:27:23.920 --> 01:27:28.120
Leave a guy better than you found him, right?

1382
01:27:28.120 --> 01:27:33.920
You know, grace on guys, you know, especially if they don't do it right, we obviously don't

1383
01:27:33.920 --> 01:27:38.000
want to preach to them and tell them everything that they're doing wrong or whatever, or leave

1384
01:27:38.000 --> 01:27:39.640
them like tore up from the floor up.

1385
01:27:39.640 --> 01:27:49.200
We just, we want to do our best to honor, honor them and honor, you know, our God by,

1386
01:27:49.200 --> 01:27:53.160
you know, walking that out as well and leaving them better than we found them.

1387
01:27:53.160 --> 01:27:58.600
And so I think it's important that, you know, you can have the honest conversation and be

1388
01:27:58.600 --> 01:28:00.360
like, look, like you are such a great guy.

1389
01:28:00.360 --> 01:28:06.440
Like I love that you are hungry to learn more.

1390
01:28:06.440 --> 01:28:10.240
And I have really, really enjoyed spending time getting to know you.

1391
01:28:10.240 --> 01:28:17.880
And you know, it has been a hard decision for me, but I know what's the calling on my

1392
01:28:17.880 --> 01:28:20.840
life is in leadership and ministry.

1393
01:28:20.840 --> 01:28:25.800
And so it's important that I have someone that can partner with me in that.

1394
01:28:25.800 --> 01:28:33.320
And you know, it would be doing you a disservice and me a disservice if we continue to see

1395
01:28:33.320 --> 01:28:36.920
this out romantically.

1396
01:28:36.920 --> 01:28:38.600
I have appreciated getting to know you.

1397
01:28:38.600 --> 01:28:42.680
I just don't think that this is going to continue to move forward.

1398
01:28:42.680 --> 01:28:47.600
You've brought a lot of insight to me.

1399
01:28:47.600 --> 01:28:48.600
It's been a blessing.

1400
01:28:48.600 --> 01:28:53.680
You know, there's things that I've really learned by interacting with you.

1401
01:28:53.680 --> 01:28:58.680
I hope that you can say the same thing.

1402
01:28:58.680 --> 01:29:01.400
I really do wish you the best.

1403
01:29:01.480 --> 01:29:09.720
And here's another thing, maybe introduce this program to him and just say, look, like

1404
01:29:09.720 --> 01:29:14.900
I'm in this program and it's been great for me.

1405
01:29:14.900 --> 01:29:19.720
We have a men's portion too, if you'd be open to looking it out.

1406
01:29:19.720 --> 01:29:27.640
There's a lot of amazing single people in this program and who knows, maybe your person's

1407
01:29:27.640 --> 01:29:30.000
in that group.

1408
01:29:30.000 --> 01:29:37.320
And you'd be interested in learning more about it and then give them the information.

1409
01:29:37.320 --> 01:29:41.720
I think you're seeing that this is just a no.

1410
01:29:41.720 --> 01:29:47.240
And it doesn't have to be a no because it's repulsive and this guy, you know, whatever.

1411
01:29:47.240 --> 01:29:51.760
Sometimes it's a no because it's just a no.

1412
01:29:51.760 --> 01:30:00.040
And the last thing we want is for you to be trapped in, you know, not being able to

1413
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:02.360
to continue to move forward to find your spirit mate

1414
01:30:02.360 --> 01:30:05.880
and then also leaving that person held up

1415
01:30:05.880 --> 01:30:07.620
from finding their spirit mate.

1416
01:30:09.080 --> 01:30:12.600
So it's okay to be a no and it doesn't have to be a bad no.

1417
01:30:12.600 --> 01:30:15.240
It could just be like, you're a great person,

1418
01:30:15.240 --> 01:30:18.700
we're just not great, we're not each other's person.

1419
01:30:20.120 --> 01:30:21.800
But there's a good person out there for you

1420
01:30:21.800 --> 01:30:24.480
and I wanna help you get there.

1421
01:30:24.480 --> 01:30:25.840
So I'm gonna release you

1422
01:30:26.760 --> 01:30:28.760
so that you get closer to your spirit mate

1423
01:30:28.800 --> 01:30:30.320
and they get closer to theirs.

1424
01:30:33.280 --> 01:30:34.120
That's good.

1425
01:30:35.640 --> 01:30:37.440
I think you're growing beautifully.

1426
01:30:38.680 --> 01:30:42.000
Yeah, I mean, I even felt like,

1427
01:30:42.000 --> 01:30:44.120
cause I kind of knew even coming home on Saturday

1428
01:30:44.120 --> 01:30:46.280
and then I just have had full, full days,

1429
01:30:46.280 --> 01:30:51.080
but just I actually have a lot of gratitude

1430
01:30:51.080 --> 01:30:52.600
even of like, wow,

1431
01:30:52.600 --> 01:30:55.260
that he was my first experience in dating ever.

1432
01:30:56.100 --> 01:30:59.620
I learned so much, but also just like,

1433
01:30:59.620 --> 01:31:02.020
to see someone who's so like kind and genuine

1434
01:31:02.020 --> 01:31:04.580
and thoughtful and caring and like going out of his way,

1435
01:31:04.580 --> 01:31:07.500
like just, you know, he might not be masculine

1436
01:31:07.500 --> 01:31:10.620
in the sense of, it's not like, you know,

1437
01:31:10.620 --> 01:31:12.020
big muscles working out, whatever,

1438
01:31:12.020 --> 01:31:14.180
but in the way that he cares a hundred percent.

1439
01:31:14.180 --> 01:31:19.180
And so just to even see like, that's who's out there.

1440
01:31:19.540 --> 01:31:20.380
Yeah.

1441
01:31:20.380 --> 01:31:21.340
Are men like that?

1442
01:31:21.340 --> 01:31:22.540
Yeah, like, that's what I love.

1443
01:31:22.540 --> 01:31:24.220
Like, you're kind of realizing like,

1444
01:31:24.220 --> 01:31:28.940
the masculinity isn't about their physique

1445
01:31:28.940 --> 01:31:29.780
and all that kind of stuff.

1446
01:31:29.780 --> 01:31:31.620
Yes, they have masculine features,

1447
01:31:31.620 --> 01:31:35.420
but real divine masculinity is a heart posture.

1448
01:31:35.420 --> 01:31:36.260
Yeah.

1449
01:31:36.260 --> 01:31:37.500
It really is, ladies.

1450
01:31:38.380 --> 01:31:41.740
Like divine masculine when it shows up,

1451
01:31:41.740 --> 01:31:45.140
oh, it's very attractive, okay?

1452
01:31:45.140 --> 01:31:49.700
Like this need to protect and provide and honor

1453
01:31:49.700 --> 01:31:52.660
and the chivalry and all of those things

1454
01:31:52.660 --> 01:31:55.700
that kind of come with the divine masculine

1455
01:31:55.700 --> 01:31:58.180
and just being really bold and leader

1456
01:31:58.180 --> 01:32:02.100
and those type of aspects are, you know,

1457
01:32:02.100 --> 01:32:04.580
just really, really an awesome thing.

1458
01:32:04.580 --> 01:32:06.980
It's not about how they physically look like,

1459
01:32:06.980 --> 01:32:09.740
yeah, men have masculine physically body,

1460
01:32:09.740 --> 01:32:14.500
but that's not the heart of the divine masculine.

1461
01:32:14.500 --> 01:32:17.940
So I think this has been a good experience for you.

1462
01:32:17.940 --> 01:32:19.340
Just continue to keep showing up,

1463
01:32:19.340 --> 01:32:21.500
let us know how the conversation goes.

1464
01:32:21.500 --> 01:32:24.980
I think you're gonna have some, you know, good,

1465
01:32:24.980 --> 01:32:26.340
I think it's gonna be good.

1466
01:32:26.340 --> 01:32:27.220
I really do.

1467
01:32:27.220 --> 01:32:29.700
I'm gonna pray that, you know, for you as well.

1468
01:32:31.660 --> 01:32:34.100
Even with that, I was thinking like phone call,

1469
01:32:34.100 --> 01:32:35.380
like, cause he's at level.

1470
01:32:35.380 --> 01:32:36.220
Is that fun?

1471
01:32:36.220 --> 01:32:37.740
Do a phone call for sure.

1472
01:32:37.740 --> 01:32:39.100
Say, hey, like, you know,

1473
01:32:39.100 --> 01:32:42.100
I need to have conversation with you and, you know,

1474
01:32:42.100 --> 01:32:44.820
and again, just share with them, you know,

1475
01:32:44.820 --> 01:32:48.220
what you've enjoyed about him and just say, look,

1476
01:32:48.220 --> 01:32:53.220
like, you know, I know I have a strong leadership

1477
01:32:53.940 --> 01:32:57.340
in ministry and it's important for me.

1478
01:32:57.340 --> 01:33:00.580
And I just, you know, I wanna wish you the best,

1479
01:33:00.580 --> 01:33:02.740
but I can't see this moving forward

1480
01:33:02.740 --> 01:33:03.900
and it's nothing that you've done.

1481
01:33:03.900 --> 01:33:08.580
It's just, I need to go explore a little more, you know,

1482
01:33:08.580 --> 01:33:10.420
and then hopefully he takes it well.

1483
01:33:11.340 --> 01:33:13.420
Okay, Lily, I'm gonna take your question.

1484
01:33:13.420 --> 01:33:14.940
We're gonna have to be as quick as possible.

1485
01:33:14.940 --> 01:33:17.900
We're about 15 minutes over,

1486
01:33:18.580 --> 01:33:20.540
but I do wanna answer, I think, I don't know,

1487
01:33:20.540 --> 01:33:23.700
just, I cannot, sometimes my chat.

1488
01:33:23.700 --> 01:33:25.940
Someone asked, what's the advantage of phase three?

1489
01:33:25.940 --> 01:33:27.540
Okay, so Stephanie, you asked,

1490
01:33:27.540 --> 01:33:29.260
what the advantages of phase three?

1491
01:33:29.260 --> 01:33:31.180
You don't get coaching there.

1492
01:33:31.180 --> 01:33:32.180
You do.

1493
01:33:33.340 --> 01:33:36.580
It's, you're still gonna post in the community.

1494
01:33:36.580 --> 01:33:38.340
There's still coaches in phase three

1495
01:33:38.340 --> 01:33:39.820
that will respond to you.

1496
01:33:40.700 --> 01:33:45.220
There are more sessions where you will be with Jackie.

1497
01:33:46.140 --> 01:33:47.780
It'll be a bigger community.

1498
01:33:48.660 --> 01:33:50.500
So there'll be more people on a call,

1499
01:33:50.500 --> 01:33:54.380
but you're like tonight, it's a love seat.

1500
01:33:54.380 --> 01:33:56.620
So it's very, almost probably very similar

1501
01:33:56.620 --> 01:33:58.460
to what we're doing here now

1502
01:33:58.460 --> 01:34:02.260
of where people get to ask their questions

1503
01:34:02.260 --> 01:34:04.260
and then Jackie shares her insight

1504
01:34:04.260 --> 01:34:07.420
and she might do some coaching more specifically

1505
01:34:07.420 --> 01:34:08.820
on dating as well.

1506
01:34:08.820 --> 01:34:10.660
So it's still there.

1507
01:34:10.660 --> 01:34:14.260
We also have something called Ask Jackie in phase three.

1508
01:34:14.260 --> 01:34:17.380
So you can submit questions for Jackie

1509
01:34:17.980 --> 01:34:20.740
and then she does sometimes go live

1510
01:34:20.740 --> 01:34:22.980
and respond to those as well.

1511
01:34:22.980 --> 01:34:25.140
So there's still coaching available.

1512
01:34:25.140 --> 01:34:29.100
It's just not going to be as like tight knit like this,

1513
01:34:30.100 --> 01:34:32.860
but there's still, then you're gonna get access

1514
01:34:32.860 --> 01:34:37.060
to community events, to single spotlights,

1515
01:34:37.060 --> 01:34:42.060
to like dating games, meeting people in the community,

1516
01:34:42.740 --> 01:34:44.620
things of that nature.

1517
01:34:44.660 --> 01:34:48.140
So I hope that helps answer.

1518
01:34:49.140 --> 01:34:54.140
So don't think that like, oh, I'm leaving phase two

1519
01:34:54.540 --> 01:34:56.100
cause I don't get coaching anymore.

1520
01:34:56.100 --> 01:34:57.860
You'll still get that there.

1521
01:34:57.860 --> 01:34:59.580
There are a lot of really amazing.

1522
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:04.940
and leaders and coaches in phase three.

1523
01:35:04.940 --> 01:35:07.360
Okay, all right, Lily, gotcha.

1524
01:35:07.360 --> 01:35:09.360
You can't be on camera cause you're at work.

1525
01:35:09.360 --> 01:35:11.520
All right, what's your question?

1526
01:35:11.520 --> 01:35:16.320
So I have, I've been having a good time with my date.

1527
01:35:16.320 --> 01:35:17.960
So thank you, Jesus.

1528
01:35:17.960 --> 01:35:22.440
But it's, mine is very similar to the past two ladies,

1529
01:35:22.440 --> 01:35:27.400
but I am at a point where there are two guys

1530
01:35:27.440 --> 01:35:30.760
that I'm getting to know, and I just don't wanna,

1531
01:35:30.760 --> 01:35:34.120
I'm very hyper-focused on not taking advantage of anyone.

1532
01:35:34.120 --> 01:35:37.880
Like if I know that I know, I don't want to,

1533
01:35:37.880 --> 01:35:39.600
so I don't think that's kind.

1534
01:35:39.600 --> 01:35:44.000
And I think what's also getting me to think

1535
01:35:44.000 --> 01:35:47.460
that I need to figure out which one not to move forward with

1536
01:35:47.460 --> 01:35:52.460
is my schedule has gotten, I live a full life, it's full.

1537
01:35:52.520 --> 01:35:54.800
And outside of dating,

1538
01:35:54.800 --> 01:35:58.760
and then I have to drive like an hour to meet them

1539
01:35:58.760 --> 01:36:00.840
cause they just, anyway.

1540
01:36:00.840 --> 01:36:02.200
So that's kind of where I'm coming from.

1541
01:36:02.200 --> 01:36:06.480
So there are two guys, super kind, super sweet,

1542
01:36:06.480 --> 01:36:11.480
but I just like, I'm the director of Prayer Hubs for Georgia

1543
01:36:13.040 --> 01:36:14.860
for one organization.

1544
01:36:14.860 --> 01:36:18.240
Like one of the guys, super kind, super everything,

1545
01:36:18.240 --> 01:36:21.360
but he doesn't even, we've been out three times

1546
01:36:21.360 --> 01:36:23.260
and no prayer over our food.

1547
01:36:23.260 --> 01:36:26.580
And I'm thinking, ah, you know,

1548
01:36:26.580 --> 01:36:28.860
and I'm not gonna say anything, I haven't said anything.

1549
01:36:28.860 --> 01:36:30.300
I just pray to myself.

1550
01:36:31.400 --> 01:36:33.820
And then, you know, he's,

1551
01:36:35.460 --> 01:36:37.580
I just can tell he's not fully surrendered.

1552
01:36:37.580 --> 01:36:40.540
Like he's, he believes in Jesus.

1553
01:36:40.540 --> 01:36:42.780
Okay, so you've been on three dates with him,

1554
01:36:44.380 --> 01:36:48.140
and he's shared with you that he believes in Jesus?

1555
01:36:48.140 --> 01:36:49.620
Yeah, he believes in Jesus.

1556
01:36:49.620 --> 01:36:51.340
He believes he's coming back,

1557
01:36:51.340 --> 01:36:52.940
but his life doesn't reflect that.

1558
01:36:53.620 --> 01:36:55.060
He looks worldly.

1559
01:36:55.060 --> 01:36:56.660
Yeah, okay.

1560
01:36:56.660 --> 01:36:59.660
So yeah, I mean, I think if you're kind of feeling like

1561
01:36:59.660 --> 01:37:02.740
maybe this is just not it, and it's a no for you,

1562
01:37:02.740 --> 01:37:05.900
like ladies, it's a yes until it's a no,

1563
01:37:05.900 --> 01:37:07.740
but it doesn't mean like you have to sit there

1564
01:37:07.740 --> 01:37:09.140
and hold on forever either.

1565
01:37:09.140 --> 01:37:11.860
Like if you know that it's a no, it's okay.

1566
01:37:11.860 --> 01:37:14.580
We encourage that you ladies

1567
01:37:14.580 --> 01:37:17.020
at least give guys two or three dates.

1568
01:37:17.020 --> 01:37:20.220
If after three dates, you're kind of like,

1569
01:37:20.220 --> 01:37:22.900
yeah, I don't know, it's okay to let it go.

1570
01:37:23.740 --> 01:37:24.740
I mean, cause the cool thing is that if you let it go

1571
01:37:24.740 --> 01:37:25.900
and you weren't supposed to let it go,

1572
01:37:25.900 --> 01:37:28.380
God's going to figure out how to bring it back.

1573
01:37:28.380 --> 01:37:29.300
Like there's going to be,

1574
01:37:29.300 --> 01:37:32.660
like you can't mess anything up, right?

1575
01:37:33.940 --> 01:37:37.220
And so, yeah, I mean, and I would even encourage like,

1576
01:37:37.220 --> 01:37:39.220
you know, if you decide to maybe even go on a fourth date

1577
01:37:39.220 --> 01:37:42.620
with him and you guys, and he's not blessing the food,

1578
01:37:42.620 --> 01:37:45.100
feel okay to be like, hey,

1579
01:37:45.100 --> 01:37:47.900
like especially on a third date or a fourth date,

1580
01:37:47.900 --> 01:37:49.380
just to be like, you know,

1581
01:37:49.380 --> 01:37:51.140
praying over my food is really important.

1582
01:37:51.140 --> 01:37:53.540
Would you mind if we pray over the food?

1583
01:37:54.540 --> 01:37:55.380
Ask him.

1584
01:37:55.380 --> 01:37:56.220
Okay.

1585
01:37:57.460 --> 01:37:58.940
Cause sometimes, I mean,

1586
01:37:58.940 --> 01:38:00.460
I mean, and have you had the opportunity

1587
01:38:00.460 --> 01:38:01.980
to share your faith with him?

1588
01:38:01.980 --> 01:38:04.900
Has it come up naturally organically for you?

1589
01:38:04.900 --> 01:38:08.900
Have you been able to, you know, put those little,

1590
01:38:08.900 --> 01:38:12.220
you know, what I'm, I can't think of the word.

1591
01:38:12.220 --> 01:38:15.420
Like, have you been able to kind of insert your faith

1592
01:38:15.420 --> 01:38:17.900
in just natural conversation with him?

1593
01:38:18.900 --> 01:38:21.500
A very basic, like I've told him, you know,

1594
01:38:21.500 --> 01:38:23.820
I'm the director of prayer hubs.

1595
01:38:23.820 --> 01:38:25.860
Like prayer is very important to me.

1596
01:38:25.860 --> 01:38:28.140
I've sprinkled it in here and there.

1597
01:38:28.140 --> 01:38:29.180
He's never asked, right?

1598
01:38:29.180 --> 01:38:32.140
Like, oh, what organization or anything?

1599
01:38:32.140 --> 01:38:33.420
He knows I go to church.

1600
01:38:33.420 --> 01:38:36.180
He knows that church, you know, I asked him,

1601
01:38:36.180 --> 01:38:37.780
told him I was going to worship service.

1602
01:38:37.780 --> 01:38:38.980
And he's like, oh, what's that?

1603
01:38:38.980 --> 01:38:40.180
And I'm like, oh my God.

1604
01:38:41.220 --> 01:38:42.620
You're like, oh, yeah.

1605
01:38:42.620 --> 01:38:44.620
So, I mean, I think you're, and again,

1606
01:38:44.620 --> 01:38:47.540
because whatever your destiny DNA is,

1607
01:38:48.180 --> 01:38:51.260
if that's part of your life, like that's part of your job.

1608
01:38:51.260 --> 01:38:52.100
Yeah.

1609
01:38:52.100 --> 01:38:53.060
That's going to be important.

1610
01:38:53.060 --> 01:38:55.540
And then again, I think that's where God

1611
01:38:55.540 --> 01:38:58.660
can start using these dates to highlight to you.

1612
01:38:58.660 --> 01:39:02.620
What is going to be some, you know, things in your life

1613
01:39:02.620 --> 01:39:04.820
that, you know, what are going to be some things

1614
01:39:04.820 --> 01:39:07.340
that men show up that are going to be important

1615
01:39:07.340 --> 01:39:09.380
for you to continue to progress?

1616
01:39:09.380 --> 01:39:11.980
So again, give guys two or three dates.

1617
01:39:11.980 --> 01:39:15.140
And if you're kind of noticing that's not, you know,

1618
01:39:15.180 --> 01:39:17.700
where they're going, I think it's okay to say,

1619
01:39:17.700 --> 01:39:20.660
hey, I've really enjoyed spending time

1620
01:39:20.660 --> 01:39:22.300
with you, getting to know you.

1621
01:39:22.300 --> 01:39:24.340
I'm not sure I see this going anywhere romantically.

1622
01:39:24.340 --> 01:39:25.900
I really do wish you the best.

1623
01:39:27.380 --> 01:39:30.020
And you can just say, hey, like, you know,

1624
01:39:31.380 --> 01:39:33.660
yeah, and just leave it at that.

1625
01:39:33.660 --> 01:39:34.500
Okay.

1626
01:39:34.500 --> 01:39:36.500
I'm even thinking, I mean, do I,

1627
01:39:36.500 --> 01:39:38.260
do I not go on this fourth date?

1628
01:39:38.260 --> 01:39:40.780
There's, we're supposed to get together this weekend.

1629
01:39:40.780 --> 01:39:42.700
Well, I think that can be up to you.

1630
01:39:42.700 --> 01:39:45.660
Like, do you enjoy going out with him?

1631
01:39:46.580 --> 01:39:48.780
Everything else is great, but I mean,

1632
01:39:48.780 --> 01:39:53.260
that's ultimately what is going to be, you know.

1633
01:39:53.260 --> 01:39:55.300
If you are comfortable going out on a date

1634
01:39:55.300 --> 01:39:58.260
and having, you know, a face-to-face conversation

1635
01:39:58.260 --> 01:39:59.660
and saying, look, like.

1636
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:05.360
I'm glad we're spending this time out. Um, I really think it's important and it's honorable for me to kind of share

1637
01:40:06.000 --> 01:40:08.000
to you with where i'm at

1638
01:40:08.160 --> 01:40:09.280
and

1639
01:40:09.280 --> 01:40:12.640
I I don't see this going anywhere romantically and so

1640
01:40:13.840 --> 01:40:14.640
Okay

1641
01:40:14.640 --> 01:40:18.080
Um, yeah, or if you don't and if or if you don't want to do that

1642
01:40:18.080 --> 01:40:22.000
You don't want to go on the date. You can have a phone call or a video chat with them and just say hey

1643
01:40:22.800 --> 01:40:24.240
you know

1644
01:40:24.240 --> 01:40:28.800
Before we go on this date. I really just want to open up and let you know like where i'm at

1645
01:40:30.960 --> 01:40:33.840
I mean I did I mean I just I share that because that happened to me

1646
01:40:34.400 --> 01:40:37.040
I had um, I would have been on three dates with somebody

1647
01:40:38.080 --> 01:40:39.680
and

1648
01:40:39.680 --> 01:40:44.980
He was very intentional very interested in and he wanted to you know, progress the relationship

1649
01:40:46.320 --> 01:40:51.120
He wanted it to be exclusive. I wasn't sure I was there for it. We had a fourth date plan

1650
01:40:52.640 --> 01:40:54.640
Um, and I just had to let him know

1651
01:40:55.360 --> 01:40:57.360
between that third and fourth date

1652
01:40:57.600 --> 01:41:01.280
Like I don't think it's a good idea for us to go on a date because i'm not sure

1653
01:41:02.000 --> 01:41:08.100
Um, or not not even that i'm not sure. I know that i'm not ready to progress this into anything romantic

1654
01:41:08.880 --> 01:41:09.680
and

1655
01:41:09.680 --> 01:41:12.960
Really appreciated how intentional you've been how kind you've been

1656
01:41:13.040 --> 01:41:18.000
I mean, I i've sung his praises because I he really was a great guy and I let him know that like

1657
01:41:19.360 --> 01:41:21.760
I want you to know where i'm at

1658
01:41:23.200 --> 01:41:26.000
And i'm not sure a fourth date is probably ideal

1659
01:41:26.640 --> 01:41:27.760
Because

1660
01:41:27.760 --> 01:41:29.760
I'm, not feeling it romantically

1661
01:41:30.960 --> 01:41:35.520
And I don't want to hold you up from finding whatever it is that you're looking for

1662
01:41:36.320 --> 01:41:38.720
But I know that i'm not on that page with you

1663
01:41:39.520 --> 01:41:40.480
so

1664
01:41:40.480 --> 01:41:44.640
and so and and he he took it graciously, I don't think he loved it, but

1665
01:41:45.840 --> 01:41:47.840
you know

1666
01:41:48.240 --> 01:41:53.120
I was honest I was honest with him and I didn't string him along and I was very you know open with it

1667
01:41:53.280 --> 01:41:55.600
And so I knew once I knew it was a no for me

1668
01:41:55.680 --> 01:42:00.960
It was important for me to share that with him and I had given him three dates. And so that's why I felt comfortable

1669
01:42:01.440 --> 01:42:03.440
Because again, that's what jack is like

1670
01:42:03.440 --> 01:42:08.000
Like jack is always like two or three dates ladies, like it's not a hard no

1671
01:42:08.480 --> 01:42:12.080
And they're not repulsive. They're not inappropriate like it's okay

1672
01:42:13.200 --> 01:42:14.800
to

1673
01:42:14.800 --> 01:42:19.120
You know continue to go on at least three dates and after the three date if it's just not there

1674
01:42:19.360 --> 01:42:22.560
And here's the thing ladies when you end something and you end it well

1675
01:42:23.360 --> 01:42:26.240
It's all there's always a potential for it to circle back around

1676
01:42:27.200 --> 01:42:29.600
As long as you end things well

1677
01:42:30.400 --> 01:42:32.420
That's honorable. That's respectful

1678
01:42:34.640 --> 01:42:37.760
Like it can always circle back around

1679
01:42:39.760 --> 01:42:41.840
If that's god's plan, right

1680
01:42:43.200 --> 01:42:44.720
Yeah

1681
01:42:44.720 --> 01:42:48.720
So I hope that helps you. Let us know how it goes. Let us know what you decide

1682
01:42:49.680 --> 01:42:50.960
I will think

1683
01:42:50.960 --> 01:42:53.840
Okay. All right ladies, um, it's been a pleasure

1684
01:42:55.040 --> 01:42:57.040
um

1685
01:42:57.200 --> 01:42:59.200
I only went 30 minutes over

1686
01:43:02.400 --> 01:43:04.080
Oh goodness

1687
01:43:04.080 --> 01:43:09.520
Hopefully I don't get reprimanded. Um, anyway, I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your day

1688
01:43:10.160 --> 01:43:17.040
Make sure that you go to the phase three sneak peek tonight if you can make it eight o'clock eastern

1689
01:43:17.120 --> 01:43:19.840
It's in the events tab on your calendar

1690
01:43:20.320 --> 01:43:22.080
Um, check it out

1691
01:43:22.080 --> 01:43:25.600
And I will see you ladies next week. Okay

1692
01:43:26.320 --> 01:43:28.320
Have a blessed day

1693
01:43:28.400 --> 01:43:30.400
Bye