WEBVTT

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All right, welcome to love seats for March you guys it's already March and March is already

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almost half over it is half over really it is pretty much half over and I can't believe

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it it's crazy it's crazy how fast time is flying this year I'm in my my 50th year of

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life it's flying by way too quick right I'm just like uh-oh what happens next 51 oh that

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doesn't sound very exciting but we'll roll with it I wanted to make sure I hit record

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just to say please make sure that you're joining any single city that's anywhere near you we

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want to open more we're going to open more this year guys this is an in-person year say

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it with me this is an in-person year we want to get in person as much as we can with each

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other I'm taking a group to Cartagena in about seven or eight weeks we're going to Columbia

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together we did that last year we're going to do that again this year we have a singles

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cruise you guys so affordable and we've extended registration we've gotten more cabins on that

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cruise ship it is it's open to men or women it's open to your friends okay it's not open

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to the public we're not announcing it publicly but if you have a friend it's open to the

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people that are connected to this program and so if you have a friend if your friend

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has a friend then you definitely can share that link for them to register for that cruise

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it is very affordable because you can make very little bite-sized payments you can you

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can pay a hundred dollars here and a hundred dollars here and a hundred dollars here until

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you get up to I think the cheapest cabin do double occupancy is like six hundred and something

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dollars for the four four-day cruise just so you guys know that's not a night that is

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for the entire cruise all right someone asked is it nine hundred fifty dollars a night no

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it's not for that particular cabin you're like what are the different prices the different

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prices are different types of cabins now if you don't find a partner someone to partner

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up with same sex please friends okay if you don't find someone to be a roommate with on

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the cruise ship then you're gonna have to have single occupancy that makes it a little

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bit more expensive it's not that much more expensive but it definitely is more expensive

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so find someone in the last year single group I'm sorry the last trip single group all of

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you are in that group look on your app you should see it last trip single go in there

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find someone to be a roommate with make sure you ask all the important questions like are

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you a light sleeper do you snore are you a psychopath that I don't want to room with

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no I'm just kidding um you know rooming with people is not that easy and I want to tell

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you something if you've never been on a cruise those rooms are small it's like rooming with

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someone in a closet okay just want to let you know and the different types of rooms

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are their interior cabins so those don't have any windows I I know that sounds kind of claustrophobic

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but it really isn't okay because the rooms are really bright light and decorated nice

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and you're gonna spend very little time when you're on a cruise in the room you're not

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going to be in there except to sleep and then there's ocean view which basically is just

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a big round window and you can see out and then I don't know if we have any balconies

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or not but a balcony would be you can actually go out that's overrated you guys because you

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know why the ocean is there and it's super scary I think it is I'm like oh and I just

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looked at the ocean thinking we're going really fast and if I fell off here for some reason

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um I would be shark bait and that's not fun so um but yes so that is in January of 2026

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that's gonna be so fun it's gonna be here before you know it so sign up for that we

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also have a trip that is going to be announced really soon um for all of you ladies and that

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is going to be a Mexico trip um we'll give you more information please do not email us

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we will post all of the trips every time I say something on here my team's like oh no

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a million people are going to email in because Jackie can't keep a secret just so you know

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Jackie can't keep a secret she can't she cannot I mean if it's like your personal business

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then yes but I mean like fun things like for instance Christmas presents I buy my family

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Christmas presents and then I give them to them the same day usually I get home and I'm

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like I bought you something for Christmas and they're like oh what is it I'm like well

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I'm glad you asked because I wanted to tell you anyway and then I rush out the week before

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trying to buy something to surprise them with because I've given them all their Christmas

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presents so that's the kind of secret that Jackie can't keep and that is a good secret

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all right so we do have some more trips coming up I am going to be in New Jersey in less

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than two weeks

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March 22nd, the day before my youngest daughter's 24th birthday, I am going to be in Jersey

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at King of Kings Church.

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The information is in every single resource.

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All of you, because we have phase two in here.

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Hi, phase two.

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Put in the chat if you're in phase two, we want to see who you ladies are.

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Just put up a thumbs up or a heart.

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Just let us know.

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All of you phase two love story accelerator folks, we want to see you.

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But in the resource tab of your app phase two, phase three and men's group, uh, there

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should be a registration for that conference.

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It's not free, but it's also not expensive.

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And we would love to see you there, there.

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If you go to the event, right, you can see the itinerary.

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There's going to be breakouts.

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There's going to be like some sort of mixer.

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There's all kinds of stuff that's going to happen.

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And of course I'm going to be there.

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And guess what?

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David's going to be there, right?

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And it's going to be a really good time.

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We're going to have a really good time.

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You are going to get shifted at that conference, prepare to be shifted, prepare to leave there

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differently than you came.

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I'm not sure if it's going to be live streamed or not.

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I will find out about that.

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The Austin singles conference.

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I'm glad you asked.

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So the problem with having a conference in Austin is we have re two really big, huge

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events here.

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Three.

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If you count NASCAR, we have a formula one racetrack here, which is always having some

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crazy big event.

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And that causes a lot of people to come to Austin.

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A lot of people come to Austin anyway, because we are the live music capital of the world.

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Did you know that?

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More live music happens in Austin, Texas than anywhere else in the world.

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Live music.

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I know you're like, I thought that was Nashville.

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Nope.

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It's Austin.

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And so lots of people travel here all the time, lots of tourism.

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But then we have the two biggest live music festivals in the world.

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We have South by Southwest, which is going on right now, March 7th through the 15th.

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And then we have Austin city limits, which happens in the fall.

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And so that kind of messes us up because a week or so before the, before the festival

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and a week after it's real congested here, the hotels are booked all the things.

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And so that really makes it hard to have a conference in March or April.

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And then also in the, in the fall in September or October.

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And so really we're stuck with the summer.

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And can I tell you something about the summer in Austin?

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Right around May 1st ish, it becomes hotter than hell's front porch here.

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It's not that fun.

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It's really hot.

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Triple digits for like four or five months.

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And so that's what makes the planning of this situation hard.

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I don't want to run into the holidays on the back end and also don't want you to come during

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rainy season.

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So we get all of our rain in the winter, December, January, February, and some of March.

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And so this is why we kind of get stymied here, but I am working on a conference for

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Austin.

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It will be men and women.

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It will be awesome.

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We are hoping to, I actually have an appointment with a venue on Wednesday.

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So Wednesday, Thursday, Thursday, I have an appointment with a venue and if it's green

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light and thumbs up, I'll be able to make an announcement really soon about some dates.

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Sound good?

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But right now we have Cartagena that's already happening and that's closed.

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We can't take any more registrations for that.

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The cruise registration is open.

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Get your roommate and get going and sign up for that.

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We have a trip for Mexico that we're going to be announcing just so you know, you can

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just kind of tab it and that it will be in June.

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It's going to happen in June and it's only just a two hour flight from here, from Texas.

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And for most people that live down here in the South, it's a really quick flight over.

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See what else?

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We have a singles conference that's up in Jersey.

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So put that on your list as well.

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And we're going to, we're coming up with some other ideas.

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Okay.

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Rabbit trail back to the beginning, join your single cities.

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If you have the ambition to be the moderator of a single city in your area, email us, let

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us know.

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We'll interview you.

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We'll meet with you.

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We'll talk about, you know, your desire to do that and see if we think that that's a

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great idea.

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If we have enough people in that area that that could work, but please prioritize getting

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together in person in your single cities.

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Make sure that you join them.

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All right, let's get started tonight's love seat.

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We have five ladies that are ready to get in the love seat.

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Are there any guys out there that want to jump in the love seat?

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If you've never been to love seats, all of you phase two ladies, this is something we

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do at least once a month.

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Ask Jackie is coming back.

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I know we keep.

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saying that, but we've just had some technical issues of how to deliver it.

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We just have, you know, issues on how to deliver ask Jackie with the app.

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And so we've just been going back and forth and back and forth

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on what that looks like.

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Back when all of you had a Facebook page and we weren't on the app, it

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was really easy to deliver ask Jackie.

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I could live stream into two Facebook pages at the same time.

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It was amazing.

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We do not have that capability anymore with the app.

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And so it's just really hard.

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It's just really hard.

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And so we're trying to figure that out.

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So I definitely want to be doing ask Jackie for all of you phase

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two and phase three ladies.

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And, but until then, once a month, we have love seats.

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And so for all you phase two, ladies love seats is where someone

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jumps in the love seat and talks about what's going on in their life,

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in their love life, in their heartwork, something, and they want feedback.

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And I give them feedback.

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So it's like one-on-one coaching, but in a group.

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And so that's what we do.

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And then guys, hopefully we're going to get down to a grab bag

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of questions here at the end.

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So, um, let me see if I have any team members that are here with me tonight.

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Uh, I really don't.

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Okay.

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So I'm going to have you put in questions at the end where I can see them, because

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if you put them up now, I'm going to miss them.

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All right.

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So let's go.

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You guys ready?

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Let's go.

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All right.

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Stephanie Carlson.

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Are you here?

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Yep.

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I'm here.

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Okay.

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So here is the, here is, here are the rules.

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You guys, uh, fight club, you know, fight club.

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Here are the rules.

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What happens at fight club?

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We don't talk about what happens at fight club.

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Okay.

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All right.

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So here are the rules for love seats.

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You're like Jackie, that's a terrible movie.

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Well, I wouldn't know because I didn't see it, but maybe you did.

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I don't know.

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I just know that that's the rule of fight club, that you don't talk about what

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happens at fight club because why?

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Because it was posted on social media.

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That's why I know.

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Um, but the rule for love seats is that you make it brief and powerful.

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We don't need five years of backstory.

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We just need a little tiny snippet of backstory and your question so

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that we can get through these quick.

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And so tonight y'all I'm going to give, I'm going to give myself

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permission to cut anyone off.

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Who's talking, who's giving too much backstory and hogging the love seat.

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All right.

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We can't do that.

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There's a lot of people that want to ask questions.

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And so we've got to get to as many people as possible.

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All right.

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So Stephanie is up and I'm assuming that this is you because

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you're the only Stephanie here.

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Is that you?

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Yay.

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All right.

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Good to see you, Stephanie.

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Go ahead and ask your question.

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So the quick backstory in me is that when you said, um, I forget if it was on

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Saturday night, supernatural Saturday or not, but you said, look at your past loves.

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Right.

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Look, go, go back and look at them and consider them.

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And then we talked about full circle.

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So I texted a guy that I have known for 10 years.

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We've just been friends.

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And I texted him and said, I wonder if you've ever thought about our encounters

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because the first time he wasn't ready.

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The second time I wasn't ready.

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And then I said, do you ever wonder what if?

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And he wrote back to me and said, yes, I do.

237
00:13:13.740 --> 00:13:15.340
I do think about what if.

238
00:13:15.660 --> 00:13:16.940
So we started texting.

239
00:13:17.380 --> 00:13:19.580
We're talking once or twice a week on the phone.

240
00:13:20.340 --> 00:13:25.500
And the reason I am here is because last week I wrote a question in the weekly

241
00:13:25.500 --> 00:13:31.660
roll call and said, what is this intense feeling in my chest?

242
00:13:31.660 --> 00:13:34.340
I just was kind of freaked out.

243
00:13:34.340 --> 00:13:40.420
I'm like, I wouldn't say that I'm in love with this man, but it was something

244
00:13:40.420 --> 00:13:42.620
that I have never felt before ever.

245
00:13:43.620 --> 00:13:45.140
And it wasn't a physical thing.

246
00:13:45.300 --> 00:13:46.380
It wasn't my heart.

247
00:13:46.900 --> 00:13:48.420
Um, but it felt like

248
00:13:48.420 --> 00:13:49.340
glad about that.

249
00:13:49.340 --> 00:13:49.940
That's good.

250
00:13:53.420 --> 00:13:55.220
So I don't, I'm that's what I put in.

251
00:13:55.220 --> 00:13:58.580
So you're, so you're, you're, so you're feeling the fields, which is good.

252
00:13:58.580 --> 00:13:59.620
You guys, here's the thing.

253
00:13:59.860 --> 00:14:02.900
We want to feel the fields because when we feel the fields, that

254
00:14:02.900 --> 00:14:04.260
means that we're not numbing out.

255
00:14:04.900 --> 00:14:05.300
Right.

256
00:14:05.300 --> 00:14:07.580
Some of you have no problem with feeling the fields.

257
00:14:07.580 --> 00:14:08.540
You're a feeler.

258
00:14:08.540 --> 00:14:11.620
And in fact, you have problem with feeling too many fields.

259
00:14:12.140 --> 00:14:14.780
And then there's others of you, like Stephanie just said, I've

260
00:14:14.780 --> 00:14:16.220
never felt this way before.

261
00:14:16.780 --> 00:14:18.100
She's old enough to know better.

262
00:14:18.300 --> 00:14:18.540
Okay.

263
00:14:18.540 --> 00:14:20.540
She's not a, she's not a 20 something year old.

264
00:14:20.820 --> 00:14:23.180
And so she's saying, I've never felt this way before.

265
00:14:23.220 --> 00:14:24.980
What is this?

266
00:14:25.220 --> 00:14:27.940
What that is is that's infatuation.

267
00:14:28.940 --> 00:14:29.380
Okay.

268
00:14:29.380 --> 00:14:30.020
And guess what?

269
00:14:30.020 --> 00:14:32.020
It feels good.

270
00:14:32.340 --> 00:14:33.420
It's excitement.

271
00:14:33.420 --> 00:14:34.740
It's anticipation.

272
00:14:34.740 --> 00:14:37.420
It's like, what is going to happen here?

273
00:14:37.820 --> 00:14:40.540
And so many people, and it's good.

274
00:14:40.860 --> 00:14:41.900
We want to have that.

275
00:14:42.140 --> 00:14:45.860
Now, you guys, if you don't have that towards a connection, it doesn't mean

276
00:14:45.940 --> 00:14:50.660
that the, that it can't become something, you know, Stephanie told us that her and

277
00:14:50.660 --> 00:14:54.340
this guy had kind of been going back and forth for years, you know, she's ready.

278
00:14:54.340 --> 00:14:55.700
He's not, he's ready.

279
00:14:55.700 --> 00:14:58.900
She's not, they've just been kind of missing each other.

280
00:14:59.100 --> 00:14:59.660
So.

281
00:15:00.480 --> 00:15:02.240
They know each other.

282
00:15:02.800 --> 00:15:06.040
This is not someone that she just met out of dating app a little, a little,

283
00:15:06.040 --> 00:15:06.960
so they know each other.

284
00:15:07.240 --> 00:15:11.400
So there's been enough excitement to think about the one that got away because

285
00:15:11.400 --> 00:15:13.560
you know, she asked him a really important question. She said,

286
00:15:13.800 --> 00:15:18.240
do you ever wonder what if, and then he said, yes.

287
00:15:18.280 --> 00:15:21.240
And you know what, y'all? Ooh, that's sexy.

288
00:15:21.640 --> 00:15:25.800
Knowing that someone has been wondering what if about you? I mean,

289
00:15:25.800 --> 00:15:29.600
that's a high. Is that a dopamine high? I mean, it is for me.

290
00:15:29.600 --> 00:15:32.560
I'm like, Whoa. And so that's the feeling that you're feeling.

291
00:15:32.560 --> 00:15:35.560
And so what we want to do is we want to add substance to this feeling.

292
00:15:35.560 --> 00:15:38.520
We like the feeling, but we're gonna add substance to it.

293
00:15:38.560 --> 00:15:41.080
So now that he said yes to what,

294
00:15:41.080 --> 00:15:45.800
if he's been thinking about it and you said, yes, what are we going to do next?

295
00:15:47.600 --> 00:15:51.360
We've, we've been texting. We, and I finally said, I, I, we,

296
00:15:51.360 --> 00:15:54.520
we need to talk on the phone. And then when I talked to him on the phone,

297
00:15:54.520 --> 00:15:56.080
I said, it's really good to hear your voice.

298
00:15:56.080 --> 00:15:59.400
And I've been very honest and very kind of vulnerable about,

299
00:16:00.120 --> 00:16:01.880
I missed you. And in fact,

300
00:16:01.880 --> 00:16:05.040
I'm so used to being on the phone with my kids and I'd say, love you. Bye.

301
00:16:05.040 --> 00:16:08.800
And I almost said that to him. And I said, like you, bye,

302
00:16:09.920 --> 00:16:13.800
which was kind of awkward, but I didn't want to say, I love you.

303
00:16:13.800 --> 00:16:16.120
So it was just early for that.

304
00:16:16.440 --> 00:16:18.160
No. Yeah. Way too early. How many,

305
00:16:18.160 --> 00:16:21.720
how many times have you and this guy seen each other in person over the time

306
00:16:21.720 --> 00:16:22.640
that you've known each other?

307
00:16:22.960 --> 00:16:26.120
We used to live in the same city right now he lives in Bend, Oregon,

308
00:16:26.120 --> 00:16:27.760
and I'm in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

309
00:16:27.760 --> 00:16:30.640
So I have not seen him for probably four or five years.

310
00:16:30.680 --> 00:16:32.640
He will be in town in May.

311
00:16:33.400 --> 00:16:36.040
When you guys did live in the same place. What was the,

312
00:16:36.400 --> 00:16:38.280
what was the context of your relationship?

313
00:16:40.080 --> 00:16:44.200
Through a ministry school is where we met. Okay.

314
00:16:44.600 --> 00:16:45.600
And we did

315
00:16:46.400 --> 00:16:51.400
prophetic words together with four people and it was all ministry stuff.

316
00:16:51.880 --> 00:16:55.520
And then when he went out a few times it, he,

317
00:16:55.520 --> 00:17:00.520
he kind of asked a question that I did not know how to answer and I did not

318
00:17:00.520 --> 00:17:02.720
answer it very well. And that was the question.

319
00:17:04.440 --> 00:17:07.359
I don't remember the question. I remember the answer was, well,

320
00:17:07.359 --> 00:17:12.359
I can't say that I love you. And that was a little too honest for him,

321
00:17:12.359 --> 00:17:16.000
I think, but he kind of said that to me the first time we tried. So,

322
00:17:16.040 --> 00:17:17.560
okay. So let me ask you a question.

323
00:17:17.560 --> 00:17:20.160
You guys were at a ministry school together and you were on a prayer team

324
00:17:20.160 --> 00:17:23.960
together. You ministered together. Yeah. Okay. Y'all let's talk about that.

325
00:17:24.119 --> 00:17:28.720
All right. Let's talk about that. Because when you're in a charismatic,

326
00:17:28.720 --> 00:17:31.000
especially spirit filled ministry school,

327
00:17:31.000 --> 00:17:36.000
and you're on a ministry team with someone or you're on outreach team with

328
00:17:36.000 --> 00:17:40.000
someone, anytime that you are like, you know being used by someone,

329
00:17:40.000 --> 00:17:44.120
you are like, you know being used in the gifts of the spirit together.

330
00:17:44.120 --> 00:17:47.160
And you're ministering to people and you're together and you're seeing people

331
00:17:47.160 --> 00:17:50.720
get breakthrough. That actually creates a soul tie.

332
00:17:52.040 --> 00:17:54.760
I know it's crazy, but it does. It creates a soul tie,

333
00:17:54.760 --> 00:17:58.120
creates an emotional bond with that person.

334
00:17:58.600 --> 00:18:02.320
When you're going deep into spiritual things and praying for each other and

335
00:18:02.320 --> 00:18:06.280
praying for other people. And so that's why he felt like he loved you.

336
00:18:06.280 --> 00:18:09.560
And that's why he wanted to know if you loved him back. Right.

337
00:18:09.560 --> 00:18:14.040
Was because you guys were having these spiritual experiences together that made

338
00:18:14.040 --> 00:18:16.560
you feel really close. Okay.

339
00:18:17.040 --> 00:18:20.680
And so you couldn't say it and then he couldn't say it.

340
00:18:21.200 --> 00:18:23.080
And now you guys are circling back around.

341
00:18:23.120 --> 00:18:26.600
Now we do have a full circle word that God gave me at the beginning of the year

342
00:18:26.600 --> 00:18:27.680
that's floating out there.

343
00:18:28.160 --> 00:18:31.800
And in order for us to see if this is truly a God full circle,

344
00:18:32.080 --> 00:18:34.160
you guys have to get in person. So,

345
00:18:34.160 --> 00:18:37.800
and you have to really be honest with each other now. Neither one of you,

346
00:18:38.240 --> 00:18:40.160
like what's the marital history here.

347
00:18:41.400 --> 00:18:43.280
We've both been married and divorced.

348
00:18:44.480 --> 00:18:49.360
I'm the one who was with another man. That's part of the reason I got divorced.

349
00:18:49.360 --> 00:18:53.600
We talked about this way back in, in, in season one.

350
00:18:55.320 --> 00:19:00.360
And we are, but we've both been single for 15 to 20

351
00:19:00.360 --> 00:19:01.120
years.

352
00:19:01.120 --> 00:19:06.160
Perfect. Okay. And he's not seeing anyone right now. No. And you're not either.

353
00:19:07.160 --> 00:19:11.400
No, I've dated a couple people off and on. He dated one person a long time ago,

354
00:19:11.400 --> 00:19:16.160
but he will be in town the middle of May for a teen challenge gala.

355
00:19:16.160 --> 00:19:18.160
And he has invited me to that already.

356
00:19:18.160 --> 00:19:21.400
So he works for teen challenge. He works with them sort of. Yeah.

357
00:19:21.840 --> 00:19:25.800
Oh, I used to, I used to work with teen talent challenge too. Okay.

358
00:19:25.840 --> 00:19:27.160
And so that's great ministry.

359
00:19:27.200 --> 00:19:31.520
Did you notice Stephanie that you and I are matching like me and you? Yeah.

360
00:19:32.360 --> 00:19:36.200
I was like, our colors go together. Your hair will be this color someday.

361
00:19:37.120 --> 00:19:39.320
I don't, it might not. I think,

362
00:19:39.440 --> 00:19:42.520
I think I'm going to keep dying it because it would already be that color.

363
00:19:42.560 --> 00:19:46.840
If I let it be, believe it or not. Believe it or not. Okay. But yes,

364
00:19:46.840 --> 00:19:51.240
we are matching and it's cute. Okay. So, um, okay. May is when he's coming.

365
00:19:52.080 --> 00:19:54.920
Yes. There's, is there any way to see each other before then?

366
00:19:56.920 --> 00:20:00.040
Probably not. Um, I need.

367
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:01.280
One of us have a lot of money.

368
00:20:01.280 --> 00:20:05.920
So it's kind of a, I did, I have accidentally looked at it on the map

369
00:20:05.920 --> 00:20:09.720
tonight because I was getting his address for his birthday card.

370
00:20:10.320 --> 00:20:12.080
I accidentally looked at it on the map.

371
00:20:12.080 --> 00:20:14.720
It's one, one day and two hours to his house.

372
00:20:14.720 --> 00:20:17.880
So to bend one day in two hours.

373
00:20:17.880 --> 00:20:18.200
Okay.

374
00:20:18.240 --> 00:20:22.360
Here's my, here's my, my concern.

375
00:20:22.720 --> 00:20:26.640
My concern is that you guys are already pretty connected, right?

376
00:20:26.640 --> 00:20:28.960
There is this existing soul tie.

377
00:20:29.280 --> 00:20:32.800
The reason why you guys have wondered what if about each other is because,

378
00:20:33.160 --> 00:20:36.200
um, you're the context that you knew each other in before with

379
00:20:36.200 --> 00:20:37.120
the ministry and everything.

380
00:20:37.120 --> 00:20:38.320
It created intimacy.

381
00:20:39.040 --> 00:20:39.400
All right.

382
00:20:39.400 --> 00:20:41.840
It created spiritual and emotional intimacy.

383
00:20:42.200 --> 00:20:45.880
And so was there ever any physical intimacy on top of that?

384
00:20:45.960 --> 00:20:50.120
Holding hands, nothing long, long hugs.

385
00:20:51.400 --> 00:20:52.080
Not really.

386
00:20:52.240 --> 00:20:52.600
Okay.

387
00:20:53.040 --> 00:20:53.320
All right.

388
00:20:53.320 --> 00:20:56.240
So just spiritual and emotional intimacy was created.

389
00:20:56.280 --> 00:20:56.720
Okay.

390
00:20:56.720 --> 00:20:59.880
And that's why you guys couldn't really get each other off the mind.

391
00:21:00.320 --> 00:21:04.520
And so we also had Phil Collins call us forward twice one weekend

392
00:21:04.920 --> 00:21:06.520
as he was prophesying over people.

393
00:21:06.520 --> 00:21:07.760
He called us forward together.

394
00:21:07.760 --> 00:21:09.040
Cause he thought we were married.

395
00:21:10.160 --> 00:21:11.200
Phil Collins.

396
00:21:12.080 --> 00:21:12.760
Not my mate.

397
00:21:12.760 --> 00:21:13.520
I was named wrong.

398
00:21:13.800 --> 00:21:14.640
Phil Collins.

399
00:21:15.240 --> 00:21:16.720
I I've got his first name wrong.

400
00:21:17.080 --> 00:21:19.960
Anyway, he's a prophet who did a weekend.

401
00:21:19.960 --> 00:21:20.360
Sorry.

402
00:21:20.720 --> 00:21:21.080
Okay.

403
00:21:21.240 --> 00:21:22.160
Well, you said Phil Collins.

404
00:21:22.160 --> 00:21:23.040
I'm like, really?

405
00:21:23.120 --> 00:21:24.280
Phil Collins prophesied.

406
00:21:24.400 --> 00:21:24.760
Okay.

407
00:21:25.240 --> 00:21:25.960
I'm not, not.

408
00:21:26.440 --> 00:21:28.080
I don't know who's Phil Collins.

409
00:21:28.360 --> 00:21:30.400
It was Collins is like a famous singer.

410
00:21:30.400 --> 00:21:34.880
Like Phil Collins.

411
00:21:34.880 --> 00:21:35.400
Wait a second.

412
00:21:35.440 --> 00:21:35.680
Okay.

413
00:21:35.680 --> 00:21:37.120
Bobby Connor.

414
00:21:38.440 --> 00:21:39.080
Colin someone.

415
00:21:39.080 --> 00:21:40.960
Colin is not a well-known name.

416
00:21:41.000 --> 00:21:45.200
I think Collins might be a prophet called you forward to prophesy over you

417
00:21:45.200 --> 00:21:47.120
because you were given off couple vibes.

418
00:21:47.520 --> 00:21:48.000
All right.

419
00:21:48.000 --> 00:21:52.080
So that's another, that's proof of what I'm saying, that you guys have this

420
00:21:52.080 --> 00:21:55.640
intimate tie because you were giving off couple we're married vibes.

421
00:21:55.640 --> 00:21:56.080
Okay.

422
00:21:56.640 --> 00:21:57.200
Um, all right.

423
00:21:57.200 --> 00:22:01.520
So because you guys have this, because you have it, um, it's going to be

424
00:22:01.520 --> 00:22:03.400
easy to fall right back into this.

425
00:22:03.880 --> 00:22:08.280
And my concern is that you're not seeing each other till May in person.

426
00:22:08.600 --> 00:22:10.200
And there's a lot of logistical things.

427
00:22:10.200 --> 00:22:11.400
Like he lives there.

428
00:22:11.400 --> 00:22:12.720
You live where you live.

429
00:22:12.720 --> 00:22:15.680
It doesn't sound like either one of you are really relocating right now.

430
00:22:16.040 --> 00:22:17.400
Um, his kids live here.

431
00:22:17.920 --> 00:22:18.480
Oh, good.

432
00:22:18.520 --> 00:22:19.120
That's good.

433
00:22:19.160 --> 00:22:20.080
That's in our benefit.

434
00:22:20.680 --> 00:22:25.360
But I just don't want you to get too close before you guys have like just

435
00:22:25.360 --> 00:22:28.520
some real practical conversations about, you know, where this can go.

436
00:22:28.800 --> 00:22:31.920
And so you have permission, you guys, I want you to see here

437
00:22:31.920 --> 00:22:33.840
that rules are meant to be broken.

438
00:22:34.920 --> 00:22:35.200
Okay.

439
00:22:35.200 --> 00:22:36.840
There's always exceptions to rules.

440
00:22:36.880 --> 00:22:41.200
And with her situation, um, it's important that she goes ahead and has

441
00:22:41.200 --> 00:22:45.720
some deeper conversations about intention and deeper conversations

442
00:22:45.720 --> 00:22:49.240
about practical things, like, you know, um, cause why should

443
00:22:49.240 --> 00:22:50.440
they even go down this road?

444
00:22:50.440 --> 00:22:51.400
They know each other.

445
00:22:51.600 --> 00:22:53.400
They have this intimate bond already.

446
00:22:53.400 --> 00:22:54.960
Why should they even go down this road?

447
00:22:55.240 --> 00:22:59.160
If it cannot end and then being together, why there's no sense in doing it.

448
00:22:59.640 --> 00:23:03.720
And so, um, it's important that you go ahead and talk about like, well, do

449
00:23:03.720 --> 00:23:07.640
you see yourself moving back here where your kids are, you know, like you

450
00:23:07.640 --> 00:23:10.880
guys are, I'm assuming close to retirement age, what does that look like?

451
00:23:10.880 --> 00:23:13.680
What does it look like for the two of you to try to be together?

452
00:23:14.040 --> 00:23:17.520
Um, and the reason why I'm saying this is because they're not waiting.

453
00:23:17.560 --> 00:23:20.040
You guys, it's long distance, but they're not waiting to see

454
00:23:20.040 --> 00:23:21.520
if there's in-person chemistry.

455
00:23:21.520 --> 00:23:22.520
They already know there is.

456
00:23:23.160 --> 00:23:24.120
They used to know each other.

457
00:23:24.120 --> 00:23:25.120
They went to school together.

458
00:23:25.560 --> 00:23:25.760
Okay.

459
00:23:25.760 --> 00:23:26.480
Ministry school.

460
00:23:26.680 --> 00:23:28.680
And so they already know there's in-person chemistry.

461
00:23:28.680 --> 00:23:31.280
So right now we have to decide, are we in it to win it?

462
00:23:31.280 --> 00:23:33.360
Do we really want to try to make this work this time?

463
00:23:33.720 --> 00:23:35.880
And what do those logistics look like?

464
00:23:36.080 --> 00:23:36.600
All right.

465
00:23:37.080 --> 00:23:37.600
Cool.

466
00:23:38.160 --> 00:23:38.680
Yes.

467
00:23:38.880 --> 00:23:39.280
Thank you.

468
00:23:39.280 --> 00:23:39.960
Stephanie.

469
00:23:40.120 --> 00:23:40.640
Thank you.

470
00:23:41.000 --> 00:23:42.280
You're welcome.

471
00:23:43.800 --> 00:23:44.640
All right.

472
00:23:44.960 --> 00:23:48.400
Next up on the prizes, right?

473
00:23:48.480 --> 00:23:52.480
You guys know that one of our, um, ladies here was on the prices, right?

474
00:23:52.520 --> 00:23:54.440
And she won the showcase showdown.

475
00:23:55.360 --> 00:23:56.920
Yes, she did is Jill.

476
00:23:56.920 --> 00:23:57.560
Are you here?

477
00:23:58.440 --> 00:23:59.240
Are you here?

478
00:24:01.960 --> 00:24:02.920
Is she here?

479
00:24:04.600 --> 00:24:06.320
I don't think she is, but she did.

480
00:24:06.360 --> 00:24:06.920
True story.

481
00:24:07.280 --> 00:24:11.600
Christine Lewis, Christine, where are you girl?

482
00:24:15.920 --> 00:24:16.240
All right.

483
00:24:16.240 --> 00:24:16.880
I found her.

484
00:24:16.880 --> 00:24:18.880
Christine Lewis is next up.

485
00:24:20.240 --> 00:24:20.680
Dang it.

486
00:24:20.880 --> 00:24:24.040
You have the kind of thing that it doesn't let me spotlight you for some

487
00:24:24.040 --> 00:24:25.800
people, it only lets me pin them.

488
00:24:25.800 --> 00:24:27.720
And for other people, they can get spotlighted.

489
00:24:27.720 --> 00:24:29.400
And I have no idea why that is.

490
00:24:35.160 --> 00:24:35.960
The price is right.

491
00:24:35.960 --> 00:24:36.560
Is real.

492
00:24:36.600 --> 00:24:37.640
It's not scripted.

493
00:24:37.680 --> 00:24:39.160
Pindus first screen.

494
00:24:39.200 --> 00:24:39.700
Okay.

495
00:24:40.160 --> 00:24:40.640
All right.

496
00:24:40.640 --> 00:24:42.440
So, oh, you don't have your camera on.

497
00:24:42.440 --> 00:24:45.840
Maybe if you turn your camera on, Christine, it'll let me spotlight you.

498
00:24:48.280 --> 00:24:49.680
Go ahead and get your camera on girl.

499
00:24:49.680 --> 00:24:54.000
If you want to be spotlighted, the whole premise of spotlight is video.

500
00:24:55.600 --> 00:24:55.800
All right.

501
00:24:55.800 --> 00:24:56.720
I'm going to come back to her.

502
00:24:57.160 --> 00:24:57.440
All right.

503
00:24:57.440 --> 00:24:59.480
Next up is.

504
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:06.640
Crystal Marie, are you here?

505
00:25:06.640 --> 00:25:07.480
Cause I don't see you.

506
00:25:11.560 --> 00:25:12.280
Yeah, I'm here.

507
00:25:12.280 --> 00:25:14.160
I just don't have my Marie on there.

508
00:25:14.720 --> 00:25:14.960
Okay.

509
00:25:14.960 --> 00:25:15.520
Let me see.

510
00:25:15.600 --> 00:25:17.360
Crystal, Crystal, Ohio.

511
00:25:18.960 --> 00:25:19.480
Well, I see it.

512
00:25:19.760 --> 00:25:20.840
All right, here we go.

513
00:25:21.800 --> 00:25:22.240
All right.

514
00:25:22.280 --> 00:25:24.040
Short, brief and powerful.

515
00:25:24.920 --> 00:25:27.760
I think I probably already know your question, but let's go ahead

516
00:25:27.760 --> 00:25:29.040
and say it for everyone else.

517
00:25:29.400 --> 00:25:29.960
All right.

518
00:25:30.520 --> 00:25:35.960
Um, so I posted a couple weeks ago, I think at this point, um, in

519
00:25:35.960 --> 00:25:39.880
the group about how things are going with Cleveland teacher dad.

520
00:25:39.920 --> 00:25:43.080
And was I not being patient enough?

521
00:25:43.080 --> 00:25:47.520
And am I wrong for wanting someone to pursue me with intention?

522
00:25:47.720 --> 00:25:48.000
Okay.

523
00:25:48.000 --> 00:25:48.920
So let's stop there.

524
00:25:48.920 --> 00:25:52.080
We're going to have, we have to tell people what they missed on Glee.

525
00:25:52.360 --> 00:25:52.680
Okay.

526
00:25:53.000 --> 00:25:56.640
Crystal met this guy and he was really pursuing her.

527
00:25:56.640 --> 00:25:59.040
He's being very intentional and trying to win her heart.

528
00:25:59.440 --> 00:26:01.080
And she wasn't ready for any of that.

529
00:26:01.280 --> 00:26:02.800
She was being very avoidant.

530
00:26:02.920 --> 00:26:03.440
Okay.

531
00:26:03.440 --> 00:26:08.160
For all of you avoidant attachment style, girls and guys, she was okay.

532
00:26:08.160 --> 00:26:10.520
So she was given him a little bit, but not a lot.

533
00:26:10.800 --> 00:26:13.680
And then he fell off eventually.

534
00:26:13.760 --> 00:26:14.080
All right.

535
00:26:14.080 --> 00:26:17.560
So he did that for a while and then he disappeared and now he's reappeared.

536
00:26:17.960 --> 00:26:21.680
He's reemerged and this time she feels in a better place.

537
00:26:21.680 --> 00:26:26.440
She feels more ready for a relationship, not necessarily with him, but just in general.

538
00:26:27.080 --> 00:26:33.160
Um, and so this time around, um, because of, you know, it not getting

539
00:26:33.160 --> 00:26:38.680
anywhere the last time, um, it is not progressing at the speed that she

540
00:26:38.680 --> 00:26:42.080
would like, and that's where she's stuck.

541
00:26:42.160 --> 00:26:42.440
All right.

542
00:26:42.440 --> 00:26:43.560
So go ahead and tell us rest.

543
00:26:44.240 --> 00:26:44.680
Yeah.

544
00:26:44.920 --> 00:26:53.320
So, um, so my biggest issue that I've had is that, um, dates,

545
00:26:53.320 --> 00:26:54.720
there's not a follow through.

546
00:26:55.280 --> 00:26:58.440
So I would just kind of give the quick down and dirty.

547
00:26:58.440 --> 00:27:03.800
So, um, Valentine weekend, there was supposed to be plans forthcoming.

548
00:27:04.360 --> 00:27:08.520
Uh, by Thursday there was nothing and it was like, just chill out,

549
00:27:08.520 --> 00:27:09.480
just wait a little longer.

550
00:27:09.480 --> 00:27:10.880
So I waited a little longer.

551
00:27:11.240 --> 00:27:15.360
Friday came, Saturday came, no messaging, no nothing.

552
00:27:15.360 --> 00:27:17.000
And then Saturday evening came.

553
00:27:17.360 --> 00:27:20.360
Um, and he and I messaged text message back and forth.

554
00:27:20.640 --> 00:27:23.920
Um, he wanted to do something the next day.

555
00:27:24.840 --> 00:27:26.440
So I said, okay, that was fine.

556
00:27:26.720 --> 00:27:29.840
Still trying to be patient, still trying to ride along with it.

557
00:27:30.240 --> 00:27:35.320
Um, next day came, weather was kind of funky, um, was on my way to meet him.

558
00:27:35.320 --> 00:27:37.480
And he said, let's just go ahead and reschedule.

559
00:27:38.520 --> 00:27:39.800
Um, so I said, okay.

560
00:27:40.080 --> 00:27:44.000
And again, still tried to just be really patient.

561
00:27:44.000 --> 00:27:47.120
And I said, well, I'm going to go to the grocery store.

562
00:27:47.440 --> 00:27:52.080
Would you like to do a video date since we can't meet since

563
00:27:52.080 --> 00:27:53.440
the weather's a little bit crazy.

564
00:27:53.800 --> 00:27:55.320
So I'm going to grab some things.

565
00:27:55.320 --> 00:27:57.840
If you want to grab some things, we can just talk and eat

566
00:27:57.880 --> 00:28:00.160
and just have some conversation.

567
00:28:00.840 --> 00:28:05.200
So then I didn't hear anything from him for a couple hours after that.

568
00:28:05.800 --> 00:28:11.200
Um, and then, um, was very honest with him later.

569
00:28:11.200 --> 00:28:13.520
And I just asked, he had said that he had fallen asleep.

570
00:28:14.200 --> 00:28:14.840
I said, okay.

571
00:28:14.840 --> 00:28:16.800
And then he said, I asked what he was doing.

572
00:28:16.800 --> 00:28:18.840
He said that he'd be, he'd be watching the basketball

573
00:28:18.840 --> 00:28:20.920
all-star game or whatever.

574
00:28:21.360 --> 00:28:25.600
So I honestly got passive aggressive and was like, I no

575
00:28:25.600 --> 00:28:27.280
need to interrupt your game.

576
00:28:27.360 --> 00:28:28.600
We can talk another day.

577
00:28:29.400 --> 00:28:30.560
Um, and he's like, no, it's fine.

578
00:28:30.560 --> 00:28:31.240
We can talk.

579
00:28:31.920 --> 00:28:32.520
So I was honest.

580
00:28:32.520 --> 00:28:34.000
I said, this is not a good time to talk.

581
00:28:34.000 --> 00:28:37.240
I need to be in a different headspace to be able to have a

582
00:28:37.240 --> 00:28:39.040
mature conversation about this.

583
00:28:39.520 --> 00:28:41.840
Um, and I said, so please do not call.

584
00:28:42.160 --> 00:28:45.520
Um, I'll, I'll reach out a little bit later and then we

585
00:28:45.520 --> 00:28:46.680
can see where we're both at.

586
00:28:46.680 --> 00:28:50.760
And so waited for a couple hours, kind of gathered myself,

587
00:28:50.760 --> 00:28:54.360
gathered some thoughts, and then he and I did have a really open

588
00:28:54.360 --> 00:29:00.000
conversation about like last second dates, asking me just to

589
00:29:00.000 --> 00:29:03.560
wait and cancel plans with other people and then not following

590
00:29:03.560 --> 00:29:05.800
through, like that's not going to work for me.

591
00:29:06.200 --> 00:29:09.560
Um, he had shared some things that are, is going on in his life.

592
00:29:09.880 --> 00:29:13.280
Um, I said, okay, well, how can I shift things?

593
00:29:13.440 --> 00:29:14.840
How can I be supportive?

594
00:29:15.200 --> 00:29:20.120
Um, he had his son that weekend and instead of him coming down

595
00:29:20.120 --> 00:29:21.560
here, we're an hour and a half apart.

596
00:29:21.960 --> 00:29:25.360
I had said, I will meet you because if I wait for you to

597
00:29:25.360 --> 00:29:28.040
come here, we're losing an hour and a half of time.

598
00:29:28.160 --> 00:29:29.320
If I come to you.

599
00:29:29.760 --> 00:29:30.280
Okay.

600
00:29:30.680 --> 00:29:32.520
So what happened at the end of this conversation?

601
00:29:33.520 --> 00:29:37.120
Um, so he said, well, I would really like to try to get

602
00:29:37.120 --> 00:29:37.880
things together.

603
00:29:37.880 --> 00:29:39.640
Can we see each other next weekend?

604
00:29:40.280 --> 00:29:41.160
And I said, sure.

605
00:29:41.800 --> 00:29:48.680
So next weekend came and 11 o'clock Saturday morning came

606
00:29:48.680 --> 00:29:50.720
and still nothing, heard nothing.

607
00:29:50.920 --> 00:29:54.840
We texted about throughout the week and about 1130.

608
00:29:54.840 --> 00:29:57.200
Finally, he said, I'm really sorry.

609
00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:59.480
Here we are again, no plans.

610
00:29:59.760 --> 00:30:00.080
I don't.

611
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.760
know what's going on with me. I said, I'm really sorry, I can't

612
00:30:03.760 --> 00:30:06.720
answer that question for you. Have you spoken with your

613
00:30:06.720 --> 00:30:10.800
pastor? Have you thought about speaking with someone else? Do

614
00:30:10.800 --> 00:30:13.240
you have like mentors in your life? Because he does have some

615
00:30:13.240 --> 00:30:17.720
stuff going on. Okay, so what's the answer to that? And he said,

616
00:30:17.720 --> 00:30:20.840
Well, it's interesting you asked that because I have met with my

617
00:30:20.840 --> 00:30:23.800
pastor the last couple of weeks, but I just don't know what's

618
00:30:23.800 --> 00:30:28.520
going on with me. And so then he said, Do you want to do

619
00:30:28.520 --> 00:30:32.640
something this evening? So he asked me to go for mini golf and

620
00:30:32.640 --> 00:30:37.440
dinner. And again, I was like, there's no need to be ridiculous

621
00:30:37.440 --> 00:30:41.600
about it. I still have six hours before we're meeting. So I said,

622
00:30:41.600 --> 00:30:44.720
Yep, that's fine. Um, you know, let's not make it something

623
00:30:44.720 --> 00:30:46.980
where you're driving all the way to me. So let's find a halfway

624
00:30:46.980 --> 00:30:47.480
point.

625
00:30:47.720 --> 00:30:50.080
Okay, so you guys went to mini golf and dinner. How'd that go?

626
00:30:50.200 --> 00:30:54.760
Yeah, so that was okay. It was okay. It wasn't fun. It was

627
00:30:54.760 --> 00:30:57.960
okay. Okay, it was okay. And then afterwards, what happened?

628
00:30:58.600 --> 00:31:04.720
And so then afterwards, we went our separate ways. I'm kind of

629
00:31:04.720 --> 00:31:07.360
chatted on and off throughout the week.

630
00:31:07.480 --> 00:31:10.540
Let me ask you a question. Who else? Who else are you seeing or

631
00:31:10.540 --> 00:31:11.920
dating or talking to?

632
00:31:12.360 --> 00:31:13.760
A nobody right now.

633
00:31:13.760 --> 00:31:18.640
Okay, that's your issue. Okay. So we know this guy from before.

634
00:31:19.560 --> 00:31:22.400
You know, we know he's a nice guy. He's not a perfect guy. But

635
00:31:22.400 --> 00:31:24.640
he is a nice guy. He's obviously going through something right

636
00:31:24.640 --> 00:31:27.920
now in his life. Also, there was a lot of push and pull from you

637
00:31:27.920 --> 00:31:31.000
the first time around. So he probably isn't trying to put all

638
00:31:31.000 --> 00:31:34.780
his eggs in your basket. And he also obviously is going through

639
00:31:34.780 --> 00:31:38.520
something with his son and raising his son and just doing

640
00:31:38.520 --> 00:31:42.320
whatever. Okay, so he's over here. We know he's a nice guy.

641
00:31:42.320 --> 00:31:46.440
But that's that right. So he's not really pursuing right now.

642
00:31:46.960 --> 00:31:49.200
But we also know it doesn't really have anything to do with

643
00:31:49.200 --> 00:31:53.840
you. It has to do with or I should say him liking you. But

644
00:31:53.840 --> 00:31:56.760
it has to do with because we already know he likes you. He

645
00:31:56.760 --> 00:32:00.160
liked you before he still likes you still attracted to you. So

646
00:32:00.160 --> 00:32:03.160
wants to hang out with you at some level, but he's just not in

647
00:32:03.160 --> 00:32:07.040
pocket. He is telling you I'm not in pocket something's I'm

648
00:32:07.040 --> 00:32:10.680
going through something. So what we need to do with you is we

649
00:32:10.680 --> 00:32:13.560
need you to be seeing other people. And this goes for

650
00:32:13.560 --> 00:32:17.840
everyone out there. If it is not a serious relationship. And I

651
00:32:17.840 --> 00:32:21.600
know that this goes against a lot of you that are Gen X and

652
00:32:21.600 --> 00:32:25.320
boomer like, you know, the, the baby boomer generation, because

653
00:32:25.320 --> 00:32:28.000
it's like, oh, dating is for mating, and you just date one

654
00:32:28.000 --> 00:32:32.800
person at a time. And guys, those those days are over. Okay,

655
00:32:33.040 --> 00:32:36.520
that is not how we do things. Now. We don't do that now. And

656
00:32:36.520 --> 00:32:39.120
there's a good reason why we don't do that now. And that's

657
00:32:39.120 --> 00:32:42.960
because we're meeting strangers on dating apps, we have no idea

658
00:32:42.960 --> 00:32:46.800
whether or not they are going to be people that we want to, you

659
00:32:46.800 --> 00:32:52.320
know, see, you know, more and more, you know, we have no idea,

660
00:32:52.360 --> 00:32:54.960
we're just getting to know them. And there isn't any reason to

661
00:32:54.960 --> 00:32:59.800
lock ourselves down for that. Okay? It doesn't make you

662
00:32:59.840 --> 00:33:03.720
immoral to date more than one person at a time. Now, if you're

663
00:33:03.720 --> 00:33:05.760
making out with every single person that you're going out

664
00:33:05.760 --> 00:33:08.960
with, then yeah, that's a whole different story. But these dates

665
00:33:08.960 --> 00:33:11.800
should be dates that are just get to know you dates. These are

666
00:33:11.800 --> 00:33:15.920
low stakes dates. Okay, crystals known this guy for a while in

667
00:33:15.920 --> 00:33:19.480
this relationship has never really turned romantic. Hasn't.

668
00:33:20.320 --> 00:33:23.480
Right. So it's okay for her to date other people, even though

669
00:33:23.480 --> 00:33:25.800
she knew him, you know, she's known him for a while, they kind

670
00:33:25.800 --> 00:33:29.040
of dated before. Now they're sort of dating again. This has

671
00:33:29.040 --> 00:33:31.960
not become a romantic relationship. There's no making

672
00:33:31.960 --> 00:33:35.840
out there's no kissing. There's none of that going on here. So

673
00:33:36.120 --> 00:33:41.400
he, you know, I doubt he would expect you to just give him your

674
00:33:41.400 --> 00:33:45.520
whole dance card. It's it's time for you and crystal disappear.

675
00:33:45.520 --> 00:33:48.640
I've no idea where she went. Oh, there she is. Or maybe she's

676
00:33:48.640 --> 00:33:52.120
not. Um, she Crystal, are you there?

677
00:33:53.920 --> 00:33:56.200
Yeah, I'm here. I had to switch it over to my phone.

678
00:33:56.240 --> 00:34:01.240
Like, no problem. Okay. So we will not think about what's

679
00:34:01.240 --> 00:34:07.880
going on with him. As much as we are. If we have other other

680
00:34:07.880 --> 00:34:12.040
guys that we're talking to. Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah,

681
00:34:12.320 --> 00:34:15.719
let that unfold. We're not worried about whether he's

682
00:34:15.719 --> 00:34:20.040
pursuing or not pursuing. If he asks you out, I'm saying us like

683
00:34:20.040 --> 00:34:23.760
it's me and you, if he asks us out, if he asks us out, and

684
00:34:23.760 --> 00:34:26.760
we're free, we don't happen to have plans, then we can make a

685
00:34:26.760 --> 00:34:30.760
decision on whether or not we want to go. Right? Yeah. That's

686
00:34:30.760 --> 00:34:34.199
really just what you need to do in the season. I don't feel like

687
00:34:34.199 --> 00:34:40.040
you need to boot him off your roster. Okay. I don't because I

688
00:34:40.199 --> 00:34:45.159
he does have a lot of potential, but at the same time, he's in

689
00:34:45.159 --> 00:34:49.000
some kind of flaky season right now. Now, if we didn't know him

690
00:34:49.000 --> 00:34:54.440
at all, you guys, this is this is advice for Crystal. Okay. Not

691
00:34:54.440 --> 00:34:57.240
necessarily for you and your situation, meaning that it's

692
00:34:57.240 --> 00:35:00.000
customized to her situation because we know teacher day.

693
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.760
at from Cleveland.

694
00:35:01.760 --> 00:35:02.600
Right.

695
00:35:02.600 --> 00:35:05.200
He is a known entity.

696
00:35:05.200 --> 00:35:07.600
And so, but if this was a brand new guy

697
00:35:07.600 --> 00:35:09.280
that she just started talking to

698
00:35:09.280 --> 00:35:11.300
that was flaking out like this and, you know,

699
00:35:11.300 --> 00:35:13.440
watching the game and not wanting to, you know,

700
00:35:13.440 --> 00:35:16.380
FaceTime with her and all the things, then no, bye.

701
00:35:17.820 --> 00:35:18.920
Boy, bye.

702
00:35:18.920 --> 00:35:19.760
All right.

703
00:35:19.760 --> 00:35:20.580
Yeah.

704
00:35:20.580 --> 00:35:22.880
And guys, same thing for you guys.

705
00:35:22.880 --> 00:35:23.880
Bye, Felicia.

706
00:35:23.880 --> 00:35:24.720
Done.

707
00:35:25.800 --> 00:35:26.620
Okay.

708
00:35:26.620 --> 00:35:27.460
All right.

709
00:35:28.260 --> 00:35:30.100
We need you to get out there.

710
00:35:30.100 --> 00:35:31.380
You're single and ready to mingle.

711
00:35:31.380 --> 00:35:32.340
Your heart is open.

712
00:35:32.340 --> 00:35:34.020
You are ready.

713
00:35:34.020 --> 00:35:35.840
And so we need you to get out there

714
00:35:35.840 --> 00:35:37.180
and meet some new people.

715
00:35:37.180 --> 00:35:38.340
Spring is coming.

716
00:35:38.340 --> 00:35:40.160
Soccer is coming.

717
00:35:40.160 --> 00:35:41.820
She's a sporty girl.

718
00:35:41.820 --> 00:35:43.780
All the different things.

719
00:35:43.780 --> 00:35:44.620
Let's see.

720
00:35:44.620 --> 00:35:45.900
Let's see who we can meet.

721
00:35:45.900 --> 00:35:48.780
And if Cleveland teacher dad rises to the occasion,

722
00:35:48.780 --> 00:35:50.620
he gets his stuff straightened out

723
00:35:50.620 --> 00:35:52.060
and he wants to start, you know,

724
00:35:52.060 --> 00:35:55.060
showing up at a, you know, at a different level,

725
00:35:55.060 --> 00:35:55.900
then great.

726
00:35:57.660 --> 00:35:59.060
Cool.

727
00:35:59.060 --> 00:35:59.900
Fair.

728
00:35:59.900 --> 00:36:00.740
Good.

729
00:36:00.740 --> 00:36:01.820
All right.

730
00:36:01.820 --> 00:36:06.820
So her advice is she needs to go ahead and get out there

731
00:36:08.580 --> 00:36:13.380
and see more people.

732
00:36:13.380 --> 00:36:14.220
All right.

733
00:36:14.220 --> 00:36:15.380
I think I'm the only person spotlighted right now.

734
00:36:15.380 --> 00:36:16.940
So let me remove my spotlight.

735
00:36:18.340 --> 00:36:19.780
Is Crystal still spotlighted?

736
00:36:21.340 --> 00:36:22.180
Okay.

737
00:36:22.180 --> 00:36:23.180
All right.

738
00:36:23.180 --> 00:36:25.340
All right, Crystal, thanks for coming and sharing.

739
00:36:25.340 --> 00:36:27.020
We appreciate that.

740
00:36:27.620 --> 00:36:30.140
You guys, we will totally obsess about what someone is

741
00:36:30.140 --> 00:36:34.300
or isn't doing if they're the only person on the roster.

742
00:36:35.820 --> 00:36:36.660
Okay.

743
00:36:38.060 --> 00:36:41.020
You're putting all your eggs, so to speak, in that basket.

744
00:36:41.020 --> 00:36:43.620
You don't want to do that until someone gives you a reason

745
00:36:43.620 --> 00:36:44.900
to do that.

746
00:36:44.900 --> 00:36:46.500
Guys, that goes for you as well.

747
00:36:47.780 --> 00:36:49.940
I know we used to call men that date more than one woman

748
00:36:49.940 --> 00:36:54.100
at a time players, but that does not apply here

749
00:36:54.100 --> 00:36:58.220
because if a woman is not giving you the time of day,

750
00:36:58.220 --> 00:36:59.260
yeah, maybe you like her.

751
00:36:59.260 --> 00:37:03.380
Maybe you want to pursue her, but she's not allowing you to.

752
00:37:05.580 --> 00:37:06.780
She's not.

753
00:37:06.780 --> 00:37:10.140
Crystal's first go around with Cleveland teacher dad,

754
00:37:10.140 --> 00:37:11.740
she wouldn't let him pursue.

755
00:37:13.100 --> 00:37:14.660
She was shutting him down.

756
00:37:14.660 --> 00:37:16.780
And then she was opening the door a little bit,

757
00:37:16.780 --> 00:37:17.700
a little crack.

758
00:37:19.380 --> 00:37:22.100
You know, she was being avoided and she knows it,

759
00:37:22.100 --> 00:37:23.780
but she's come a long way since then.

760
00:37:24.460 --> 00:37:26.100
And now she's ready, but guess what?

761
00:37:26.100 --> 00:37:27.540
He knows that version of her.

762
00:37:28.820 --> 00:37:32.740
And so that might be another reason why he's kind of not

763
00:37:32.740 --> 00:37:36.620
trying to, you know, go full throttle.

764
00:37:36.620 --> 00:37:38.980
Although it really just sounds like this is just something

765
00:37:38.980 --> 00:37:40.820
he's going through and something that he's dealing

766
00:37:40.820 --> 00:37:41.660
with right now.

767
00:37:41.660 --> 00:37:43.140
I don't really think it has anything to do with you,

768
00:37:43.140 --> 00:37:48.140
Crystal, but guys, if you really like a girl

769
00:37:48.460 --> 00:37:52.140
and she's giving you reason to hope, but you know,

770
00:37:52.180 --> 00:37:54.420
she's just kind of back and forth, hot and cold,

771
00:37:54.420 --> 00:37:57.980
in and out, don't give her all your attention.

772
00:37:59.540 --> 00:38:00.380
All right.

773
00:38:01.740 --> 00:38:04.860
In fact, that might be all she wants is attention.

774
00:38:04.860 --> 00:38:06.860
And as long as you give her that attention,

775
00:38:06.860 --> 00:38:09.100
she's just going to keep stringing you along.

776
00:38:10.140 --> 00:38:14.220
But if you make yourself a little scarce,

777
00:38:14.220 --> 00:38:16.900
and this is not, listen, this is not playing head games,

778
00:38:16.900 --> 00:38:18.620
but this is human psychology.

779
00:38:18.620 --> 00:38:20.700
If you make yourself a little bit scarce,

780
00:38:21.460 --> 00:38:25.860
then it's a possibility that she's going to see your value.

781
00:38:25.860 --> 00:38:28.020
You might want to just disappear for a little while

782
00:38:28.020 --> 00:38:30.540
and show back up out of the friend zone.

783
00:38:32.740 --> 00:38:34.220
You hear me?

784
00:38:34.220 --> 00:38:36.300
If you find yourself getting friend zoned,

785
00:38:36.300 --> 00:38:39.100
it's probably because you are, you know,

786
00:38:39.100 --> 00:38:42.100
allowing someone to kind of take advantage

787
00:38:42.100 --> 00:38:45.780
of your good nature because they know that you like them.

788
00:38:45.780 --> 00:38:47.500
They're not giving you what you want

789
00:38:47.500 --> 00:38:48.980
as far as a relationship,

790
00:38:48.980 --> 00:38:50.740
but they also like to have you around

791
00:38:50.740 --> 00:38:54.060
because everyone likes to have someone around

792
00:38:54.060 --> 00:38:55.940
that really thinks they're great.

793
00:38:58.100 --> 00:39:01.020
It's like kind of a little ego boost for them, right?

794
00:39:01.020 --> 00:39:04.220
So instead of staying in the friend zone,

795
00:39:04.220 --> 00:39:07.860
just go ahead and drop out, just drop out, whoop, disappear.

796
00:39:10.380 --> 00:39:15.060
And then when you show back up, if you show back up, okay,

797
00:39:15.060 --> 00:39:17.180
but when you show back up, you know,

798
00:39:17.220 --> 00:39:21.620
show back up with a different kind of energy.

799
00:39:21.620 --> 00:39:24.140
A lot of guys, you will find yourself in the friend zone

800
00:39:24.140 --> 00:39:27.540
because you try to come in through the friend door.

801
00:39:27.540 --> 00:39:29.300
Now, I'm not against men and women being friends,

802
00:39:29.300 --> 00:39:31.420
and I think that you should marry your best friend,

803
00:39:31.420 --> 00:39:34.540
but sometimes romance has to come before friendship.

804
00:39:37.540 --> 00:39:38.740
It just does.

805
00:39:38.740 --> 00:39:42.540
You have to make it very clear to this woman

806
00:39:42.540 --> 00:39:45.260
that you are interested in her beyond friendship,

807
00:39:45.260 --> 00:39:50.020
from the get-go, from the jump, from the jump ball, okay?

808
00:39:51.820 --> 00:39:54.060
If you try just to kind of be buddy-buddy

809
00:39:54.060 --> 00:39:57.020
and just be real friendly and just kind of nonchalant

810
00:39:57.020 --> 00:39:57.860
and all those things.

811
00:39:57.860 --> 00:39:59.220
Now, back in the olden days,

812
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.400
1980s. You know what happened? Boy met girl. I know the olden days of 1980s.

813
00:40:05.400 --> 00:40:08.280
I'm just trying to be funny. Let's just do the nineties.

814
00:40:08.280 --> 00:40:12.720
That's when I was a teenager. If a guy liked you, he came up to you at the mall.

815
00:40:13.640 --> 00:40:17.520
Okay. Or at the movie theater or at the roller rink,

816
00:40:18.440 --> 00:40:21.800
ice skating rink, he came up to you and he said, Hey,

817
00:40:22.760 --> 00:40:24.240
do you want to go on a date?

818
00:40:25.040 --> 00:40:28.520
He didn't just, he didn't come over to you and say, Oh, Hey, nice skates.

819
00:40:29.120 --> 00:40:32.560
You know, that's cool. You know? Oh, you're friends. Oh,

820
00:40:32.560 --> 00:40:35.520
you guys care if I hang out? Oh, I'm going to hang out.

821
00:40:36.280 --> 00:40:42.120
Oh, all right. Well, you know, cool. You know, maybe, you know,

822
00:40:42.160 --> 00:40:44.160
we'll see you again sometime. No,

823
00:40:46.320 --> 00:40:50.040
that's not what he did. He just went right in for the kill.

824
00:40:50.520 --> 00:40:52.600
Do you want to go on a date? And then she'd say, yeah,

825
00:40:52.600 --> 00:40:54.880
do you want to go on a date? And then she'd say yes or no.

826
00:40:57.320 --> 00:40:58.760
I did actually say yes to a guy.

827
00:40:58.760 --> 00:41:02.840
I met them all to go on a date to the movies and he ended up being really weird.

828
00:41:02.840 --> 00:41:06.080
And I excused myself and went to the bathroom during like the first 20 minutes

829
00:41:06.080 --> 00:41:07.680
of the movie. And I walked home.

830
00:41:10.520 --> 00:41:14.320
I left the movie theater and walked home. Yeah. So that happens too,

831
00:41:14.720 --> 00:41:19.240
but things were easier back then because people made their intentions clear.

832
00:41:19.240 --> 00:41:23.600
Now there might not be a romantic connection after the date.

833
00:41:24.160 --> 00:41:25.440
Please hear what I'm saying,

834
00:41:26.520 --> 00:41:31.000
but at least the intention before the date was,

835
00:41:31.000 --> 00:41:33.160
Hey, I want to take you on a date.

836
00:41:35.200 --> 00:41:38.960
I want to see if there's a romantic connection. That is what you're saying.

837
00:41:39.680 --> 00:41:43.120
And if there isn't a romantic connection, no harm, no foul.

838
00:41:43.160 --> 00:41:47.760
No one's getting their heart broken guys. Don't bring flowers on first dates.

839
00:41:47.920 --> 00:41:49.600
Okay. Don't bring candy.

840
00:41:50.440 --> 00:41:54.880
Don't take women to expensive steak dinners where it's a hundred dollars a

841
00:41:54.880 --> 00:41:57.720
person. That's too much pressure for you and for them.

842
00:41:58.720 --> 00:42:01.800
It's okay for you to be intentional that this is a date.

843
00:42:02.320 --> 00:42:06.760
This is basically a audition for romance for both of you.

844
00:42:08.360 --> 00:42:10.680
Like, are we going to have that kind of connection?

845
00:42:10.680 --> 00:42:14.960
And you don't even have to feel it after the first time you can make a decision

846
00:42:14.960 --> 00:42:19.200
that if you enjoy this person's company at any level that you're going to have

847
00:42:19.200 --> 00:42:23.440
a second date and maybe a third date, you're going to give it a chance to grow.

848
00:42:23.600 --> 00:42:26.400
You guys, we don't fall in love. I want to let you know that.

849
00:42:26.400 --> 00:42:28.960
That is something that was made up in the movies. It is not real.

850
00:42:28.960 --> 00:42:30.240
We do not fall in love.

851
00:42:30.760 --> 00:42:35.520
Stephanie is feeling strong infatuation for someone who she knows and that

852
00:42:35.520 --> 00:42:36.720
she's excited about.

853
00:42:36.800 --> 00:42:39.120
And they're flirting back and forth in the way of like,

854
00:42:39.120 --> 00:42:42.160
I've been thinking about you. I miss you guys. That's exciting.

855
00:42:43.160 --> 00:42:45.040
That's exciting to your nervous system.

856
00:42:46.920 --> 00:42:50.560
All right. That's what we call infatuation. Infatuation cannot be,

857
00:42:50.800 --> 00:42:54.960
it cannot be sustained. If there's not some other kind of substance,

858
00:42:55.000 --> 00:42:59.280
substance in the relationship underneath that. So we don't fall in love.

859
00:42:59.280 --> 00:43:01.800
We grow in love. We grow in love.

860
00:43:02.440 --> 00:43:06.720
Now you might have visceral attraction to someone from day one, from the,

861
00:43:06.800 --> 00:43:11.360
from the first moment, but it doesn't mean that you're going to sustain that.

862
00:43:11.920 --> 00:43:14.480
It just means that at the beginning, there's some kind of chemistry.

863
00:43:14.480 --> 00:43:16.040
There's some kind of unseen

864
00:43:17.920 --> 00:43:20.440
track or beam pulling y'all together.

865
00:43:20.520 --> 00:43:24.160
And that can be a bad thing as much as it could be a good thing. All right.

866
00:43:24.560 --> 00:43:28.200
And so let's make sure that we're not going off just visceral,

867
00:43:28.560 --> 00:43:32.120
physical, romantic attraction. But guys,

868
00:43:32.320 --> 00:43:35.120
if you don't want to be put in the friend zone, then don't put yourself there.

869
00:43:35.360 --> 00:43:36.200
If I was a guy,

870
00:43:36.200 --> 00:43:41.200
I would much rather a woman say no to me asking her on a date than me trying to

871
00:43:41.200 --> 00:43:43.640
hang around her and trying to, you know,

872
00:43:43.640 --> 00:43:47.840
grow on her enough to ask her on a date and then have her say no,

873
00:43:49.640 --> 00:43:53.600
just get rejected right from the jump. Just do it.

874
00:43:54.640 --> 00:43:57.120
Thank you. Next. Seriously.

875
00:43:58.080 --> 00:44:02.560
Now I don't suggest that you thank you next to all the women in the world.

876
00:44:02.600 --> 00:44:06.280
I don't suggest that you thank you next to all the women in your own church,

877
00:44:06.640 --> 00:44:08.080
because you're going to get a reputation.

878
00:44:09.560 --> 00:44:14.200
You might want to go fishing in a different fishing hole and then asking out

879
00:44:14.240 --> 00:44:18.000
every single woman in your fellowship.

880
00:44:18.080 --> 00:44:23.080
And this is why I'm not really a big fan of people trying to find someone to

881
00:44:23.400 --> 00:44:27.480
date within their church. You don't want to be that. If you're a guy,

882
00:44:27.480 --> 00:44:29.200
especially you don't want to be that creepy person,

883
00:44:29.360 --> 00:44:32.080
but if you're getting to know a woman in community and you think that she's

884
00:44:32.080 --> 00:44:35.720
really amazing and you want to ask her on a date, don't be afraid to do that.

885
00:44:36.000 --> 00:44:37.920
If she says no, that's okay,

886
00:44:38.320 --> 00:44:41.720
but definitely don't go in bed and ask her roommate or her best friend.

887
00:44:41.920 --> 00:44:43.920
Cause I actually have a love story.

888
00:44:45.240 --> 00:44:50.240
I have a love story where the girl thought she was going to marry a guy who she

889
00:44:51.560 --> 00:44:56.640
was praying. And she felt like God said, your husband's name is Travis.

890
00:44:56.680 --> 00:44:59.040
Let's just say the word, the name Travis. Okay.

891
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:02.760
I shouldn't say a love story.

892
00:45:02.760 --> 00:45:07.240
What's kind of a love story, but it's also kind of a tragedy.

893
00:45:07.240 --> 00:45:08.240
Raise your hand.

894
00:45:08.240 --> 00:45:11.920
If you think that, you know, the name of your spirit mate, put it in the hat and put it

895
00:45:11.920 --> 00:45:15.400
in the chat right now, not their name, but just raise your hand in the chat.

896
00:45:15.400 --> 00:45:18.200
If you think that God told you the name of your person.

897
00:45:18.200 --> 00:45:19.200
All right.

898
00:45:19.200 --> 00:45:20.920
So this happens to people.

899
00:45:20.920 --> 00:45:24.720
She thought that God told her the name of this person and she was going to stay single

900
00:45:24.720 --> 00:45:28.760
until she met this mysterious spirit mate.

901
00:45:28.760 --> 00:45:32.240
And so never met anyone by that name, never met anyone by that name, never met anyone

902
00:45:32.240 --> 00:45:33.240
by that name.

903
00:45:33.240 --> 00:45:35.360
And about six years in y'all.

904
00:45:35.360 --> 00:45:36.360
Okay.

905
00:45:36.360 --> 00:45:41.080
And she's of dating and marriaging a marriage age this whole time, about six years in, guess

906
00:45:41.080 --> 00:45:42.080
what?

907
00:45:42.080 --> 00:45:45.000
A handsome, good looking drummer.

908
00:45:45.000 --> 00:45:49.800
Always be aware of the drummers y'all, um, showed up at her church and that guess what

909
00:45:49.800 --> 00:45:50.800
his name was?

910
00:45:50.800 --> 00:45:51.800
Travis.

911
00:45:51.800 --> 00:45:52.800
They was Travis guys.

912
00:45:52.800 --> 00:45:56.280
I have changed all the names here to protect the most guilty people in the world.

913
00:45:56.280 --> 00:45:57.280
All right.

914
00:45:57.280 --> 00:45:59.560
So this is what's happened.

915
00:45:59.560 --> 00:46:00.880
And she's like, Oh my God, this is him.

916
00:46:00.880 --> 00:46:01.880
And guess what?

917
00:46:01.880 --> 00:46:03.240
He asked her on a date.

918
00:46:03.240 --> 00:46:04.240
What?

919
00:46:04.240 --> 00:46:05.240
Come on.

920
00:46:05.240 --> 00:46:06.240
This is incredible.

921
00:46:06.240 --> 00:46:08.280
And I'm not saying God can't tell you the name of your spirit mate.

922
00:46:08.280 --> 00:46:10.200
I'm just saying it's unlikely.

923
00:46:10.200 --> 00:46:11.200
It's unlikely.

924
00:46:11.200 --> 00:46:12.320
All right.

925
00:46:12.320 --> 00:46:15.800
And so they go on a date and then guess what?

926
00:46:15.800 --> 00:46:20.000
After that date, he doesn't ask her out anymore, but guess who he does ask out her roommate.

927
00:46:20.000 --> 00:46:21.400
Guess who he's married to now?

928
00:46:21.400 --> 00:46:22.400
Her roommate.

929
00:46:23.400 --> 00:46:27.680
All right.

930
00:46:27.680 --> 00:46:30.480
What's the moral of this story?

931
00:46:30.480 --> 00:46:34.880
Dating people at church can be dangerous, but also it can be great, but you don't have

932
00:46:34.880 --> 00:46:36.640
to meet your spirit mate at church.

933
00:46:36.640 --> 00:46:40.640
And if you think that you already know who they are from afar and you're just waiting

934
00:46:40.640 --> 00:46:45.280
for them to notice you and to finally realize that you're the one, please stop doing that.

935
00:46:45.280 --> 00:46:47.400
That is not going to happen.

936
00:46:47.400 --> 00:46:48.760
It isn't going to happen.

937
00:46:48.760 --> 00:46:50.320
It's not, it isn't.

938
00:46:50.320 --> 00:46:51.320
Okay.

939
00:46:51.320 --> 00:46:52.760
But I had a dream about them, Jackie.

940
00:46:52.760 --> 00:46:55.880
Well, yeah, you did have a dream and they were in it, but that's not what the dream

941
00:46:55.880 --> 00:46:56.880
meant.

942
00:46:56.880 --> 00:47:04.560
It's not, I promise you, I promise you 10 out of 10 times, people come to me with that

943
00:47:04.560 --> 00:47:06.000
kind of scenario.

944
00:47:06.000 --> 00:47:10.400
That is not their person, 10 out of 10, right?

945
00:47:10.400 --> 00:47:13.120
So I really want you to let that go.

946
00:47:13.120 --> 00:47:14.120
Let it go.

947
00:47:14.120 --> 00:47:15.120
Fully.

948
00:47:15.120 --> 00:47:16.120
Let it go.

949
00:47:16.120 --> 00:47:17.760
If you've got to switch churches so that you can get over it and move on with your life,

950
00:47:17.760 --> 00:47:19.360
do it.

951
00:47:19.360 --> 00:47:23.520
If you've gone to that church and that person knows you and they've seen you year after

952
00:47:23.520 --> 00:47:26.800
year after year, and they have not expressed any romantic interest in you, it's because

953
00:47:26.800 --> 00:47:28.560
they are not romantically interested in you.

954
00:47:28.560 --> 00:47:32.920
And they're not going to just get up from a prayer time one day and just look across

955
00:47:32.920 --> 00:47:33.920
the room.

956
00:47:33.920 --> 00:47:35.840
And all of a sudden God's just like, there's your wife.

957
00:47:35.840 --> 00:47:36.840
Go get her.

958
00:47:36.840 --> 00:47:37.840
Nope.

959
00:47:37.840 --> 00:47:38.840
That's not my wife.

960
00:47:38.840 --> 00:47:40.800
That's not, that's Sally Jo.

961
00:47:40.800 --> 00:47:42.840
And I don't like Sally Jo.

962
00:47:42.840 --> 00:47:49.120
All right, seriously, please.

963
00:47:49.880 --> 00:47:54.360
You guys, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that that was for a someone and probably more

964
00:47:54.360 --> 00:47:56.360
than one someone.

965
00:47:56.360 --> 00:48:01.120
God is reading your mail tonight because he wants you to get unstuck.

966
00:48:01.120 --> 00:48:03.640
Okay.

967
00:48:03.640 --> 00:48:04.640
Doesn't even have to be a church.

968
00:48:04.640 --> 00:48:06.000
It could be at work anywhere.

969
00:48:06.000 --> 00:48:07.400
This person already knows you.

970
00:48:07.400 --> 00:48:08.640
They're not interested in you.

971
00:48:08.640 --> 00:48:10.440
You have to let them go.

972
00:48:10.440 --> 00:48:15.680
Let 2025 be the year that you break up with this fantasy that you have, that you think

973
00:48:15.680 --> 00:48:17.000
is from the Lord.

974
00:48:17.000 --> 00:48:21.320
Let this be the time that you let go of it so that God can fill that space with a real

975
00:48:21.320 --> 00:48:30.160
person that wants you please, Nora, you're up.

976
00:48:30.160 --> 00:48:33.400
I just don't, don't want you to be miserable anymore.

977
00:48:33.400 --> 00:48:34.400
Okay.

978
00:48:34.400 --> 00:48:37.760
We have the red connection going on tonight.

979
00:48:37.760 --> 00:48:39.760
We do have the right connection.

980
00:48:39.760 --> 00:48:40.760
Okay.

981
00:48:40.760 --> 00:48:41.760
True story about Nora.

982
00:48:41.760 --> 00:48:43.800
Laura's like, what, wait, what are we doing?

983
00:48:43.800 --> 00:48:44.800
Okay.

984
00:48:44.800 --> 00:48:49.680
So when Nora first came in, there was a guy who also happened to be a client of mine,

985
00:48:49.680 --> 00:48:59.080
a more private client, and she was at a church service and a famous preacher was there that

986
00:48:59.080 --> 00:49:02.480
likes to say, squeeze the hand of the person beside you.

987
00:49:02.480 --> 00:49:06.240
You know, if you're single and you want to date, you want to go on a date with them.

988
00:49:06.240 --> 00:49:12.000
And this guy who happened to be my client and Nora was my student in this program, squeezed

989
00:49:12.000 --> 00:49:13.000
her hand.

990
00:49:13.000 --> 00:49:18.160
They didn't know that they knew, they didn't know, they didn't know that they both knew

991
00:49:18.160 --> 00:49:20.920
me or anything like that, but she happened to tell me about it.

992
00:49:20.920 --> 00:49:24.320
And when she told me about it, I'm like, Oh, I know that guy, you know, he's my private

993
00:49:24.320 --> 00:49:25.320
client anywhere.

994
00:49:25.320 --> 00:49:30.040
Anyway, here's the moral of the story, the moral of the story is she did not want to

995
00:49:30.040 --> 00:49:31.040
squeeze his hand back.

996
00:49:31.040 --> 00:49:32.320
She did not want to go on a date.

997
00:49:32.320 --> 00:49:34.160
It wasn't the right match fit for her.

998
00:49:34.160 --> 00:49:35.800
She wasn't interested.

999
00:49:35.800 --> 00:49:38.860
And that guy is getting married this month on the 27th.

1000
00:49:38.860 --> 00:49:40.880
So there's someone for everyone.

1001
00:49:40.880 --> 00:49:41.920
So what is that telling you?

1002
00:49:41.920 --> 00:49:45.800
What's telling you is that guys, if you get rejected, guess what?

1003
00:49:45.800 --> 00:49:48.920
He's marrying someone and he's marrying someone from this community.

1004
00:49:48.920 --> 00:49:49.920
Okay.

1005
00:49:49.920 --> 00:49:50.920
From my challenge community.

1006
00:49:50.920 --> 00:49:51.920
And she's beautiful.

1007
00:49:51.920 --> 00:49:52.920
Just like Nora.

1008
00:49:52.920 --> 00:49:54.720
She's beautiful and she's amazing.

1009
00:49:54.720 --> 00:49:56.560
And he's super happy and excited.

1010
00:49:56.560 --> 00:49:59.680
And so don't be afraid to be rejected.

1011
00:49:59.680 --> 00:50:00.040
You have to be.

1012
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:06.340
to be rejected in order to find the person that is going to accept you and love you.

1013
00:50:06.340 --> 00:50:07.340
Rejections.

1014
00:50:07.340 --> 00:50:08.340
Okay.

1015
00:50:08.340 --> 00:50:09.340
All right.

1016
00:50:09.340 --> 00:50:10.340
Nora, what do you got?

1017
00:50:10.340 --> 00:50:11.340
Good times.

1018
00:50:11.340 --> 00:50:12.340
I forgot about that.

1019
00:50:12.340 --> 00:50:13.340
Thank you for reminding me of that.

1020
00:50:13.340 --> 00:50:14.340
I didn't know if you knew that he was getting married this month.

1021
00:50:14.340 --> 00:50:15.340
I did.

1022
00:50:15.340 --> 00:50:16.340
Yeah.

1023
00:50:16.340 --> 00:50:17.340
Yeah.

1024
00:50:17.340 --> 00:50:18.340
Yeah.

1025
00:50:18.340 --> 00:50:19.340
You told me.

1026
00:50:19.340 --> 00:50:20.340
Yay.

1027
00:50:20.340 --> 00:50:21.340
Marriage.

1028
00:50:21.340 --> 00:50:22.340
Okay.

1029
00:50:22.340 --> 00:50:23.340
Um, so, all right.

1030
00:50:23.340 --> 00:50:24.340
So my thing is, um, so I just went on a third date with the guy, the Iranian guy.

1031
00:50:24.340 --> 00:50:25.340
We did eat Persian food.

1032
00:50:25.340 --> 00:50:27.000
It was a really good date.

1033
00:50:27.000 --> 00:50:31.720
And so I'm in this place where I don't get to very often where, you know, I've gone past

1034
00:50:31.720 --> 00:50:34.360
a couple of dates and I'm actually like excited.

1035
00:50:34.360 --> 00:50:37.360
Um, and you know, there, there were a lot of good things.

1036
00:50:37.360 --> 00:50:40.640
Like we ended up being at dinner for like three hours and closing the place down and

1037
00:50:40.640 --> 00:50:42.320
just, it was like a really good conversation.

1038
00:50:42.320 --> 00:50:43.320
I felt really seen.

1039
00:50:43.320 --> 00:50:45.320
I felt like he's just has really good character.

1040
00:50:45.320 --> 00:50:50.840
Um, but I find myself getting into like anxious attachment style more than I'm used to.

1041
00:50:50.840 --> 00:50:55.200
And so I just wanted to see if you had like how to deal with that.

1042
00:50:55.200 --> 00:50:59.040
Um, you know, like afterwards he sent me a voice message was just like, I really loved

1043
00:50:59.040 --> 00:51:00.040
seeing you.

1044
00:51:00.040 --> 00:51:01.200
I can't wait to see you again.

1045
00:51:01.200 --> 00:51:05.000
And he was traveling, um, over the weekend and he sent me like a couple of texts, but

1046
00:51:05.000 --> 00:51:09.160
I haven't heard from him too much, but I already feel myself getting kind of like hypervigilant.

1047
00:51:09.160 --> 00:51:13.880
Like, Oh, like I sent him a message over 24 hours ago and I haven't heard back.

1048
00:51:13.880 --> 00:51:18.280
Like, is he like, is he not actually as interested in me as I am in him?

1049
00:51:18.280 --> 00:51:20.240
I don't like feeling that way.

1050
00:51:20.240 --> 00:51:24.520
Um, and I don't have a lot of capacity to date.

1051
00:51:24.520 --> 00:51:25.520
Like a lot of different people.

1052
00:51:25.520 --> 00:51:27.600
Like, you know, he lives in San Jose.

1053
00:51:27.600 --> 00:51:29.560
There's a lot of guys that are like really spread out over the Bay.

1054
00:51:29.560 --> 00:51:33.680
Like I can't like with all these other things, like, Hey, can you remind me, is he a believer?

1055
00:51:33.680 --> 00:51:34.680
He is a believer.

1056
00:51:34.680 --> 00:51:35.680
Yeah.

1057
00:51:35.680 --> 00:51:41.280
He's um, he, he's, he's from Iran and he is like, he was grew up in the Assyrian church,

1058
00:51:41.280 --> 00:51:45.400
but he just started going to like a Presbyterian church, but we haven't like gotten too much

1059
00:51:45.400 --> 00:51:48.960
into faith stuff, but he does love God.

1060
00:51:48.960 --> 00:51:49.960
Okay.

1061
00:51:50.680 --> 00:51:51.680
All right.

1062
00:51:51.680 --> 00:51:54.200
So let's talk about anxious attachment and early dating.

1063
00:51:54.200 --> 00:51:55.200
Can we do that?

1064
00:51:55.200 --> 00:51:56.200
All right.

1065
00:51:56.200 --> 00:51:59.440
So you guys, it doesn't make you a bad person to be an anxious attacher.

1066
00:51:59.440 --> 00:52:02.080
All that it means is that you have to be really self-aware.

1067
00:52:02.080 --> 00:52:03.080
Okay.

1068
00:52:03.080 --> 00:52:08.880
So to the avoidance, they have to be self-aware too, but anxious, you have to be really self-aware

1069
00:52:08.880 --> 00:52:11.400
because you can get a little crazy.

1070
00:52:11.400 --> 00:52:12.560
All right.

1071
00:52:12.560 --> 00:52:14.840
You can get a little clingy.

1072
00:52:14.840 --> 00:52:17.480
You can get, you can misread signals.

1073
00:52:17.480 --> 00:52:19.460
You can, you know, freak yourself out.

1074
00:52:19.960 --> 00:52:23.620
You can tell yourself all kinds of disconnection stories, right.

1075
00:52:23.620 --> 00:52:25.020
Which then makes you act crazy.

1076
00:52:25.020 --> 00:52:29.060
Like, Oh, I thought you liked me or, you know, you know, just passive aggressive.

1077
00:52:29.060 --> 00:52:33.560
And so we don't want to do that because we've only been on one date and it was fun and we

1078
00:52:33.560 --> 00:52:36.060
ate Persian food and it was wonderful.

1079
00:52:36.060 --> 00:52:41.820
And he has communicated with you since then and did after the date, did he, was he like,

1080
00:52:41.820 --> 00:52:42.820
let's do it again?

1081
00:52:42.820 --> 00:52:43.820
Yeah.

1082
00:52:43.820 --> 00:52:44.820
He said, let's do it again.

1083
00:52:44.820 --> 00:52:46.980
I mean, he didn't say like when we were kind of like, okay, maybe Saturday.

1084
00:52:46.980 --> 00:52:48.100
So that was our third date.

1085
00:52:48.100 --> 00:52:49.100
And so, yeah.

1086
00:52:49.100 --> 00:52:50.100
Okay.

1087
00:52:50.100 --> 00:52:51.100
Three, three dates.

1088
00:52:51.100 --> 00:52:52.100
He likes you.

1089
00:52:52.100 --> 00:52:53.460
He likes you.

1090
00:52:53.460 --> 00:52:54.980
He's having fun with you.

1091
00:52:54.980 --> 00:52:56.740
He's been on three dates with you.

1092
00:52:56.740 --> 00:52:58.500
He's talking to you in between dates.

1093
00:52:58.500 --> 00:53:00.700
It doesn't matter if it's enough or not.

1094
00:53:00.700 --> 00:53:02.740
And then you guys, and you said he was traveling, right?

1095
00:53:02.740 --> 00:53:03.740
Yeah.

1096
00:53:03.740 --> 00:53:04.740
But he got back yesterday.

1097
00:53:04.740 --> 00:53:05.740
Okay.

1098
00:53:05.740 --> 00:53:12.420
He's traveling and you texted him and you didn't hear back from him for 24 hours and

1099
00:53:12.420 --> 00:53:14.620
you still haven't heard back from him.

1100
00:53:14.620 --> 00:53:15.620
Yeah.

1101
00:53:15.620 --> 00:53:16.620
Yeah.

1102
00:53:16.620 --> 00:53:17.620
You haven't.

1103
00:53:18.140 --> 00:53:19.140
I have not heard back from him.

1104
00:53:19.140 --> 00:53:20.140
Okay.

1105
00:53:20.140 --> 00:53:23.980
So you texted him and it's been over 24 hours since he responded.

1106
00:53:23.980 --> 00:53:25.180
Okay.

1107
00:53:25.180 --> 00:53:27.820
And what was the last text message?

1108
00:53:27.820 --> 00:53:30.220
He was just saying like, Hey, have you had a good weekend?

1109
00:53:30.220 --> 00:53:33.500
Like I'm driving up and I was just like, hearted it was just like, Oh, I hope you have a safe

1110
00:53:33.500 --> 00:53:34.500
drive.

1111
00:53:34.500 --> 00:53:37.740
So it wasn't like anything of substance, but normally like in the past, like he would have

1112
00:53:37.740 --> 00:53:39.500
set up the next day on like Monday.

1113
00:53:39.500 --> 00:53:40.500
And I'm like, it's Tuesday.

1114
00:53:40.500 --> 00:53:41.500
Like, okay.

1115
00:53:41.500 --> 00:53:46.060
So are you telling me that the last sex message you sent him was, I hope you have a safe drive.

1116
00:53:46.060 --> 00:53:47.060
Yeah.

1117
00:53:47.500 --> 00:53:48.500
And what's there to respond to that?

1118
00:53:48.500 --> 00:53:54.500
Well, nothing, but I guess, um, I guess I'm just, I'm very hypervigilant to like, Oh,

1119
00:53:54.500 --> 00:53:59.340
before like he would respond, like respond to me and then, uh, set up the next date.

1120
00:53:59.340 --> 00:54:00.340
And I think, yeah.

1121
00:54:00.340 --> 00:54:02.340
Well, he just got back from traveling and he's tired.

1122
00:54:02.340 --> 00:54:06.580
You know what I do the day after I travel, I turn into a, a literally, a literal, literal

1123
00:54:06.580 --> 00:54:07.580
potato potato.

1124
00:54:07.580 --> 00:54:08.580
Okay.

1125
00:54:08.580 --> 00:54:13.020
And like, like objectively, I know you're right.

1126
00:54:13.020 --> 00:54:15.060
And like, I'm getting in my head.

1127
00:54:15.060 --> 00:54:19.780
And I guess my question is like, how do I manage from going into that like anxious place?

1128
00:54:19.780 --> 00:54:20.780
Even if like, okay.

1129
00:54:20.780 --> 00:54:22.940
I have to get to the root of the anxious place.

1130
00:54:22.940 --> 00:54:25.260
Why are you not the prize?

1131
00:54:25.260 --> 00:54:26.260
I don't know.

1132
00:54:26.260 --> 00:54:31.580
Why that's the, that's the biggest question for all of you ladies that are anxious attachers.

1133
00:54:31.580 --> 00:54:32.740
Why are you not the prize?

1134
00:54:32.740 --> 00:54:34.340
Why is he the prize?

1135
00:54:34.340 --> 00:54:35.340
Cause he's so fine.

1136
00:54:35.340 --> 00:54:36.820
I don't know.

1137
00:54:36.820 --> 00:54:37.820
You're the prize.

1138
00:54:37.820 --> 00:54:39.540
The Bible says that you're the prize.

1139
00:54:39.540 --> 00:54:40.540
Yeah.

1140
00:54:40.540 --> 00:54:41.940
Bible says that you're the prize.

1141
00:54:41.940 --> 00:54:42.940
Okay.

1142
00:54:42.940 --> 00:54:47.220
So if a man finds a good thing, he obtains favor from the Lord.

1143
00:54:47.220 --> 00:54:48.220
You're the prize.

1144
00:54:48.220 --> 00:54:49.220
Okay.

1145
00:54:49.220 --> 00:54:50.220
Okay.

1146
00:54:50.220 --> 00:54:53.540
So ladies, no offense to you gentlemen, cause you're looking for your prize.

1147
00:54:53.540 --> 00:54:54.540
Okay.

1148
00:54:54.540 --> 00:54:55.540
And you're amazing.

1149
00:54:55.540 --> 00:54:57.100
You're you're men of God and incredible.

1150
00:54:57.100 --> 00:54:59.980
And we love you and we love the divine masculine, but women.

1151
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.960
You are the prize, okay?

1152
00:55:02.960 --> 00:55:05.420
And if you do not believe that about yourself,

1153
00:55:05.420 --> 00:55:07.400
then you are gonna constantly be trying

1154
00:55:07.400 --> 00:55:10.120
to jump through hoops and scale walls

1155
00:55:10.120 --> 00:55:12.160
and prove to the man that he should choose.

1156
00:55:12.160 --> 00:55:14.640
You're gonna be what I call pick me girls.

1157
00:55:14.640 --> 00:55:18.760
And nobody hates a pick me girl more than me, all right?

1158
00:55:18.760 --> 00:55:22.080
Because they suck all the oxygen out of the room

1159
00:55:22.080 --> 00:55:23.400
and she's not to that level.

1160
00:55:23.400 --> 00:55:24.800
She's not being a pick me girl.

1161
00:55:24.800 --> 00:55:25.880
The pick me girls are the ones

1162
00:55:25.880 --> 00:55:27.560
that will just do anything for love.

1163
00:55:27.560 --> 00:55:29.880
They'll say anything, they'll do anything, all right?

1164
00:55:29.920 --> 00:55:32.320
It's just so painful to watch.

1165
00:55:32.320 --> 00:55:35.480
And so we do not want to be that, we're not.

1166
00:55:35.480 --> 00:55:37.680
And so Nora right now, what Nora is,

1167
00:55:37.680 --> 00:55:41.600
is Nora is someone who just really has not fully discovered

1168
00:55:41.600 --> 00:55:44.920
that she's amazing, okay?

1169
00:55:44.920 --> 00:55:47.600
That men wanna squeeze her hand in church services

1170
00:55:47.600 --> 00:55:49.880
and take her on a date, right?

1171
00:55:49.880 --> 00:55:51.160
That she's incredible.

1172
00:55:51.160 --> 00:55:53.080
And this guy thinks that she's great.

1173
00:55:53.080 --> 00:55:54.240
Now, if you would have said to me

1174
00:55:54.240 --> 00:55:57.360
that the last text message that you sent him was like,

1175
00:55:57.400 --> 00:56:00.680
hey, do you wanna go so-and-so on such and such a day,

1176
00:56:00.680 --> 00:56:04.080
blah, blah, blah, you know, a question asking text message.

1177
00:56:04.080 --> 00:56:06.640
And then he left you on read for over 24 hours.

1178
00:56:06.640 --> 00:56:09.000
But it literally was him saying,

1179
00:56:09.000 --> 00:56:11.080
you know, I hope you had a great weekend.

1180
00:56:11.080 --> 00:56:13.880
And you saying, I hope you have a safe drive home.

1181
00:56:14.720 --> 00:56:16.320
There's no question there.

1182
00:56:16.320 --> 00:56:19.600
There's no reason for him to respond to that right now.

1183
00:56:19.600 --> 00:56:20.760
Okay.

1184
00:56:20.760 --> 00:56:23.600
I guess the thing that's going on with me is like,

1185
00:56:23.600 --> 00:56:25.280
like he's someone that I'm excited about.

1186
00:56:25.280 --> 00:56:27.440
And so I guess I'm getting into this mindset of like,

1187
00:56:27.440 --> 00:56:29.920
he's my only option, even though I know like,

1188
00:56:29.920 --> 00:56:31.080
that's not true.

1189
00:56:31.080 --> 00:56:31.920
I mean-

1190
00:56:31.920 --> 00:56:34.560
Okay, so what are you supposed to do when that happens?

1191
00:56:34.560 --> 00:56:36.320
I mean, there's other guys I could talk to,

1192
00:56:36.320 --> 00:56:38.440
but it's just like, I'm not excited about them.

1193
00:56:38.440 --> 00:56:39.720
Okay, you don't have to be excited,

1194
00:56:39.720 --> 00:56:41.400
but you do need a distraction.

1195
00:56:41.400 --> 00:56:42.480
Okay, okay.

1196
00:56:42.480 --> 00:56:44.280
Okay, because otherwise, you know what you're gonna do?

1197
00:56:44.280 --> 00:56:45.120
This is you.

1198
00:56:46.120 --> 00:56:47.440
Yeah, yeah.

1199
00:56:48.360 --> 00:56:49.320
Yeah.

1200
00:56:49.320 --> 00:56:50.720
And then you're gonna throw it across the room

1201
00:56:50.720 --> 00:56:52.320
and you're gonna go get it.

1202
00:56:52.320 --> 00:56:53.720
And then you're gonna like look at it.

1203
00:56:53.720 --> 00:56:54.960
You're gonna turn on the, you're gonna turn it off.

1204
00:56:55.640 --> 00:56:56.480
And I'm like, I'm over it.

1205
00:56:56.480 --> 00:56:57.320
And you're gonna put it under the thing.

1206
00:56:57.320 --> 00:56:58.160
And then you're like, you're gonna hear a ding.

1207
00:56:58.160 --> 00:57:02.560
You're gonna be like, no, no, no, no, no.

1208
00:57:02.560 --> 00:57:04.880
And then when you do actually see him in person,

1209
00:57:04.880 --> 00:57:08.560
you're gonna have that energy with you, right?

1210
00:57:08.560 --> 00:57:12.640
And then hopefully he's a secure attacher.

1211
00:57:12.640 --> 00:57:14.240
But if he's not a secure attacher,

1212
00:57:14.240 --> 00:57:17.680
then he's gonna, he's gonna smell that energy.

1213
00:57:17.680 --> 00:57:18.520
And then he's gonna be like,

1214
00:57:18.520 --> 00:57:21.800
oh, whoa, you're putting way too much emphasis

1215
00:57:21.800 --> 00:57:23.000
on this already, right?

1216
00:57:23.000 --> 00:57:24.880
And so it's like, it's only three days.

1217
00:57:24.880 --> 00:57:26.680
Let's just have fun.

1218
00:57:26.680 --> 00:57:27.520
Yeah.

1219
00:57:27.520 --> 00:57:29.240
Okay, I want you to repeat after me.

1220
00:57:29.240 --> 00:57:30.080
Okay.

1221
00:57:30.080 --> 00:57:30.920
Ready?

1222
00:57:30.920 --> 00:57:31.760
What's his name?

1223
00:57:31.760 --> 00:57:33.200
Nahira.

1224
00:57:33.200 --> 00:57:34.040
Oh, shoot.

1225
00:57:34.040 --> 00:57:35.200
Let's just call him.

1226
00:57:35.200 --> 00:57:36.360
You can call him Scott.

1227
00:57:36.360 --> 00:57:37.200
That was his hinge name.

1228
00:57:37.200 --> 00:57:38.760
And then he told me that he has a.

1229
00:57:38.760 --> 00:57:39.800
Okay, that makes it a lot easier.

1230
00:57:39.800 --> 00:57:40.640
Scott.

1231
00:57:42.440 --> 00:57:43.280
All right.

1232
00:57:43.280 --> 00:57:44.120
So I want you to repeat after me.

1233
00:57:44.120 --> 00:57:46.400
If Scott is not my spirit mate.

1234
00:57:46.400 --> 00:57:48.400
If Scott is not my spirit mate.

1235
00:57:48.400 --> 00:57:50.520
Then whoever is my spirit mate.

1236
00:57:50.520 --> 00:57:51.800
Whoever is my spirit mate.

1237
00:57:51.800 --> 00:57:53.040
Is looking for me.

1238
00:57:53.040 --> 00:57:54.080
Is looking for me.

1239
00:57:54.080 --> 00:57:56.440
And I'm gonna like them even better.

1240
00:57:56.440 --> 00:57:58.520
I'm gonna like them even better.

1241
00:57:58.520 --> 00:57:59.360
Yeah.

1242
00:58:00.560 --> 00:58:01.920
So it's a win-win.

1243
00:58:01.920 --> 00:58:03.280
Okay, okay.

1244
00:58:03.280 --> 00:58:04.120
No, say that.

1245
00:58:05.040 --> 00:58:06.280
It's a win-win.

1246
00:58:06.280 --> 00:58:07.200
It's a win-win.

1247
00:58:07.200 --> 00:58:09.400
So if Scott is not my spirit mate,

1248
00:58:09.400 --> 00:58:11.120
then my spirit mate is looking for me.

1249
00:58:11.120 --> 00:58:13.680
And I'm actually gonna like them even better

1250
00:58:13.680 --> 00:58:14.920
than I like Scott.

1251
00:58:14.920 --> 00:58:16.280
So it's a win-win.

1252
00:58:16.280 --> 00:58:18.800
Guys, you have to remind yourself of that.

1253
00:58:18.800 --> 00:58:19.920
Yeah.

1254
00:58:19.920 --> 00:58:20.760
You have to.

1255
00:58:20.760 --> 00:58:22.840
You're not gonna miss out on your spirit mate

1256
00:58:22.840 --> 00:58:25.720
by sending an anxious attachment text.

1257
00:58:26.640 --> 00:58:27.480
You're not.

1258
00:58:27.480 --> 00:58:28.320
Because you know what?

1259
00:58:28.320 --> 00:58:29.160
If they're your person,

1260
00:58:29.160 --> 00:58:33.520
they're going to really just like you for you.

1261
00:58:33.520 --> 00:58:35.920
And they're gonna like you right where you are right now

1262
00:58:35.920 --> 00:58:37.400
in your growth process.

1263
00:58:37.400 --> 00:58:38.240
Yeah.

1264
00:58:38.240 --> 00:58:39.080
Okay.

1265
00:58:39.080 --> 00:58:40.080
All you're doing though,

1266
00:58:40.080 --> 00:58:42.480
is just making yourself sick in the meantime.

1267
00:58:42.480 --> 00:58:43.520
Yeah.

1268
00:58:43.520 --> 00:58:45.080
You see what I'm saying?

1269
00:58:45.080 --> 00:58:46.280
Like it all works out.

1270
00:58:46.280 --> 00:58:48.400
If Scott's the spirit mate, it all works out.

1271
00:58:48.400 --> 00:58:50.360
He's gonna think that you're quirky and fun

1272
00:58:50.960 --> 00:58:51.800
and he's gonna think that you're funny for being anxious

1273
00:58:51.800 --> 00:58:52.640
and it's gonna be cute.

1274
00:58:52.640 --> 00:58:53.640
Oh, cute.

1275
00:58:53.640 --> 00:58:55.040
No, I'm just saying.

1276
00:58:55.040 --> 00:58:55.880
Yeah.

1277
00:58:55.880 --> 00:58:57.280
You guys, if you knew the stuff

1278
00:58:57.280 --> 00:59:00.880
that David Dorman literally waded through

1279
00:59:00.880 --> 00:59:03.040
to pick me as his bride,

1280
00:59:03.040 --> 00:59:03.880
you guys would be like,

1281
00:59:03.880 --> 00:59:05.760
Jackie knows what she's talking about.

1282
00:59:06.880 --> 00:59:09.600
I mean, most men would have run screaming

1283
00:59:09.600 --> 00:59:11.120
from that situation,

1284
00:59:11.120 --> 00:59:14.800
but he didn't because he saw the gold in me.

1285
00:59:14.800 --> 00:59:16.960
He knew that I was just broken.

1286
00:59:16.960 --> 00:59:18.040
By the way, my pastor,

1287
00:59:18.040 --> 00:59:20.680
cause you know, I just come through my pastor,

1288
00:59:20.680 --> 00:59:22.880
stealing all the money and going to prison.

1289
00:59:22.880 --> 00:59:24.800
And that's why I was having a nervous breakdown

1290
00:59:24.800 --> 00:59:26.360
when David met me.

1291
00:59:26.360 --> 00:59:28.360
But I want to say that

1292
00:59:28.360 --> 00:59:30.360
on the front page of the newspaper here,

1293
00:59:30.360 --> 00:59:33.960
18 years later is my pastor going back to prison

1294
00:59:35.440 --> 00:59:39.120
because well, if he loses his appeal with the Supreme Court

1295
00:59:39.120 --> 00:59:40.080
going back to prison,

1296
00:59:40.080 --> 00:59:41.880
and I'm just like, dear Jesus.

1297
00:59:41.880 --> 00:59:44.000
So you guys,

1298
00:59:45.000 --> 00:59:48.560
you might not meet someone in a perfect season

1299
00:59:48.560 --> 00:59:51.360
and they might not be the best version of themselves.

1300
00:59:51.360 --> 00:59:52.840
But if they're your spirit mate,

1301
00:59:52.840 --> 00:59:54.000
if you're their spirit mate,

1302
00:59:54.000 --> 00:59:57.280
you're going to see them through God's eyes.

1303
00:59:57.280 --> 00:59:58.960
You're going to know them after the spirit

1304
00:59:58.960 --> 00:59:59.800
and not the flesh.

1305
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.320
I want you to start praying that before you go on dates, God, show me this

1306
01:00:03.320 --> 01:00:08.840
person, you know, after the spirit and not the flesh, show me this person.

1307
01:00:09.720 --> 01:00:11.480
Show me this person, the way you see this person.

1308
01:00:12.340 --> 01:00:12.520
Okay.

1309
01:00:12.520 --> 01:00:16.080
Because they might, I mean, David was going through bankruptcy.

1310
01:00:16.080 --> 01:00:17.480
He had just gone through a divorce.

1311
01:00:17.820 --> 01:00:20.640
I was going through this nervous breakdown associated with losing

1312
01:00:20.640 --> 01:00:22.200
my entire spiritual family.

1313
01:00:22.600 --> 01:00:24.080
I was single mommying it.

1314
01:00:24.160 --> 01:00:26.400
I, you know, I was working two jobs.

1315
01:00:26.400 --> 01:00:29.880
I mean, there was just crazy circumstances around our lives then.

1316
01:00:30.720 --> 01:00:31.120
All right.

1317
01:00:31.120 --> 01:00:37.120
So let me Nora, it's always a pleasure and, um, do whatever you

1318
01:00:37.120 --> 01:00:38.560
need to do to distract yourself.

1319
01:00:38.840 --> 01:00:41.080
Chat with some people that you're not that excited about.

1320
01:00:42.280 --> 01:00:46.320
Um, continue to tell yourself if Scott's not my spirit mate, then I'm going to,

1321
01:00:46.320 --> 01:00:49.240
you know, my spirit mate's going to find me, he's looking for me.

1322
01:00:49.600 --> 01:00:50.340
I'm not hiding.

1323
01:00:50.340 --> 01:00:55.440
So he's going to find me and, um, and I'm going to like him even more than I like Scott.

1324
01:00:55.960 --> 01:00:56.280
Okay.

1325
01:00:56.440 --> 01:00:57.440
Thank you, Jackie.

1326
01:00:57.720 --> 01:01:01.760
But I will tell you that I'm so excited that you actually really like someone

1327
01:01:02.240 --> 01:01:05.120
to feel like you don't like people a lot.

1328
01:01:05.720 --> 01:01:07.080
Yeah, I know.

1329
01:01:07.080 --> 01:01:09.280
And so that's what makes this really special.

1330
01:01:09.320 --> 01:01:13.360
And you know, it's either the guy before the guy, or, you know, that's opening

1331
01:01:13.360 --> 01:01:16.520
you up and getting you to understand that you, there's people that you actually

1332
01:01:16.520 --> 01:01:20.720
really can have some feelings for, or it's him and it's just going to

1333
01:01:20.720 --> 01:01:21.800
unfold and it's going to be great.

1334
01:01:22.160 --> 01:01:22.440
Yeah.

1335
01:01:22.600 --> 01:01:25.680
I think a lot, I have peace for the most part, but then sometimes I freak out.

1336
01:01:25.680 --> 01:01:26.640
So, okay.

1337
01:01:26.640 --> 01:01:30.480
But when you start to freak out, post in the group, do not text him.

1338
01:01:30.720 --> 01:01:30.960
I will.

1339
01:01:30.960 --> 01:01:31.720
Oh, no, I won't do that.

1340
01:01:31.760 --> 01:01:32.000
Okay.

1341
01:01:32.560 --> 01:01:32.760
Okay.

1342
01:01:33.320 --> 01:01:34.880
You guys, that's what your groups are for.

1343
01:01:35.240 --> 01:01:39.320
So when you start to, to want to like do something crazy and say

1344
01:01:39.320 --> 01:01:44.240
something crazy to someone, just say it to us, we love you.

1345
01:01:44.320 --> 01:01:48.840
And you're crazy when you're, when you're in your crazy, we love you.

1346
01:01:48.840 --> 01:01:49.600
And we're going to help you.

1347
01:01:49.600 --> 01:01:53.120
We're going to talk you down off the wall and keep you from doing

1348
01:01:53.120 --> 01:01:57.000
something that you're going to it's once again, it's not going to ruin the

1349
01:01:57.000 --> 01:01:59.240
opportunity, but you might feel embarrassed by it.

1350
01:01:59.440 --> 01:02:04.400
So post to us, talk to us in your group, your coaches, your peer coaches,

1351
01:02:04.440 --> 01:02:07.080
instead of posting to them or don't.

1352
01:02:07.360 --> 01:02:12.680
And please, for the love of God and all that is Holy, do not post on Facebook.

1353
01:02:13.880 --> 01:02:18.880
Don't post some passive aggressive, sad, sacky thing on pay on Facebook.

1354
01:02:18.880 --> 01:02:21.400
You guys just post in our private group.

1355
01:02:24.080 --> 01:02:27.560
You know, they haven't texted back in 24 hours and you post

1356
01:02:27.560 --> 01:02:29.200
on your public Facebook page.

1357
01:02:29.680 --> 01:02:31.920
Oh, love sucks.

1358
01:02:32.240 --> 01:02:34.960
My life, you know, always a bridesmaid.

1359
01:02:34.960 --> 01:02:37.520
Never that bride don't ever do that.

1360
01:02:37.840 --> 01:02:38.400
Okay.

1361
01:02:38.960 --> 01:02:40.000
You guys know who you are.

1362
01:02:40.000 --> 01:02:40.560
You do it.

1363
01:02:40.680 --> 01:02:41.600
Stop doing that.

1364
01:02:43.280 --> 01:02:47.520
You can, however, show up like that in our private groups.

1365
01:02:48.160 --> 01:02:50.800
That way you can get some comfort.

1366
01:02:50.800 --> 01:02:53.920
You can get some love and you're not going to be embarrassed.

1367
01:02:54.040 --> 01:02:59.080
You know, that you posted that on your public Facebook page.

1368
01:03:01.600 --> 01:03:04.080
Just so you guys know, anxious attachers do stuff like that.

1369
01:03:04.120 --> 01:03:05.320
It's like a cry for help.

1370
01:03:05.680 --> 01:03:08.600
It's like you putting it out in the public and hoping that that person's

1371
01:03:08.600 --> 01:03:11.280
going to see it and be like, Oh, I forgot to text them back.

1372
01:03:11.280 --> 01:03:11.560
You know?

1373
01:03:11.600 --> 01:03:12.960
No, that's not what's going to happen.

1374
01:03:12.960 --> 01:03:15.560
They're going to see it and they're going to be like, Oh, bullet dodged.

1375
01:03:16.000 --> 01:03:16.400
Okay.

1376
01:03:17.240 --> 01:03:19.800
Um, who's next?

1377
01:03:21.160 --> 01:03:27.800
I mean, heartbreak or, you know, just, I mean, before I met Jesus, the way

1378
01:03:27.800 --> 01:03:32.640
that I would deal with, with, uh, you know, someone rejecting me is a

1379
01:03:32.640 --> 01:03:34.960
bar, a box of wine, not a bottle.

1380
01:03:34.960 --> 01:03:39.360
Do you remember they used to make boxes of wine, box of wine, a box of wine

1381
01:03:39.360 --> 01:03:47.920
and Dave Matthews, you know, on repeat crash into, okay, this is before Jesus.

1382
01:03:48.840 --> 01:03:49.240
Okay.

1383
01:03:49.440 --> 01:03:54.840
This is before Jesus, but I'm just saying, um, nowadays what people do is they do

1384
01:03:54.840 --> 01:04:02.000
that, they do a box of wine, but then they post on Facebook, that's not a good

1385
01:04:02.000 --> 01:04:04.640
combination, a box of wine and Facebook.

1386
01:04:05.280 --> 01:04:07.840
There should be a breathalyzer on your social media where

1387
01:04:07.840 --> 01:04:09.680
you have to breathe into it.

1388
01:04:10.280 --> 01:04:13.680
And if you have had too much wine, you're not allowed to post.

1389
01:04:13.680 --> 01:04:14.800
It does not unlock.

1390
01:04:14.840 --> 01:04:16.120
You're not allowed to post.

1391
01:04:16.160 --> 01:04:16.560
Okay.

1392
01:04:17.240 --> 01:04:19.960
And for those of you that are like, oh my God, alcohol is wrong.

1393
01:04:19.960 --> 01:04:21.080
You guys are all going to hell.

1394
01:04:21.120 --> 01:04:21.680
Okay.

1395
01:04:22.120 --> 01:04:24.920
Because it's not, and I don't even drink anymore.

1396
01:04:24.920 --> 01:04:25.760
So there you go.

1397
01:04:26.080 --> 01:04:26.520
All right.

1398
01:04:26.800 --> 01:04:27.840
Doo doo doo doo doo.

1399
01:04:27.880 --> 01:04:31.400
Who's next live and let live y'all live and let live.

1400
01:04:31.880 --> 01:04:35.360
If you're offended, go listen to my supernatural Saturday about offense.

1401
01:04:35.600 --> 01:04:36.600
Lindsay Richards.

1402
01:04:36.600 --> 01:04:37.080
You're up.

1403
01:04:40.960 --> 01:04:43.600
Hello, Lindsay and I go way back.

1404
01:04:43.600 --> 01:04:44.200
It's so great.

1405
01:04:45.280 --> 01:04:45.680
All right.

1406
01:04:47.360 --> 01:04:50.440
Lindsay's actually made my best friend, her best friend.

1407
01:04:50.440 --> 01:04:52.760
And so we must be best friends by proxy now.

1408
01:04:53.720 --> 01:04:58.680
Well, I, we are both teachers and we're both single and you helped us both.

1409
01:04:58.680 --> 01:05:00.040
So we have some comments.

1410
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.280
ground there. So okay, I love it. Okay, so here is I'm going

1411
01:05:04.280 --> 01:05:08.340
to try to keep it like really short. But um, I know you know

1412
01:05:08.340 --> 01:05:11.280
that I've been dating a guy and that he sent me flowers for

1413
01:05:11.280 --> 01:05:17.240
Valentine's Day. So it's been over two months. And it's

1414
01:05:17.240 --> 01:05:20.800
definitely been a big stretch out of my comfort zone. But it

1415
01:05:20.800 --> 01:05:24.280
is one of the most healthy like it's been like a really good

1416
01:05:25.280 --> 01:05:32.560
situation. So one thing is that I feel like at this point in, I

1417
01:05:32.760 --> 01:05:36.800
I feel bad because he likes me more than I like him. And I

1418
01:05:36.800 --> 01:05:40.560
don't know if I'm just like being avoidant. And I'm really

1419
01:05:40.560 --> 01:05:43.760
been feeling like I'm going to be leaving my teaching job. And

1420
01:05:43.760 --> 01:05:47.040
I posted about that in the group. So I feel God really

1421
01:05:47.040 --> 01:05:53.680
transitioning me. And but basically, this guy, it's been

1422
01:05:53.680 --> 01:05:58.640
over two months. And three years ago, he was in a car

1423
01:05:58.640 --> 01:06:03.800
accident for and he was driving drunk and he was in rehab. And

1424
01:06:04.400 --> 01:06:09.320
I do think like, as I've gotten to know him that he is very

1425
01:06:09.320 --> 01:06:13.080
serious about his sobriety, it did bring him back to God. He's

1426
01:06:13.080 --> 01:06:15.840
not like really in the same place I am. But I think he's

1427
01:06:15.840 --> 01:06:19.800
trying. But a lot of times it's feeling like he's trying to be

1428
01:06:19.800 --> 01:06:24.040
good because he wants to make me happy, like, watching his

1429
01:06:24.040 --> 01:06:27.960
language. And like, there's been some inappropriate jokes. And

1430
01:06:27.960 --> 01:06:28.760
then I like say,

1431
01:06:29.200 --> 01:06:31.280
is he handicapped at all from his accident?

1432
01:06:32.120 --> 01:06:38.320
No, he broke his nose. But he's basically been it's had had him

1433
01:06:38.320 --> 01:06:42.120
like completely start over. So he's got like a kind of an

1434
01:06:42.120 --> 01:06:45.040
entry level job at Ohio State, which is awesome. And he's

1435
01:06:45.040 --> 01:06:48.200
getting his master's. But he works all the time. He's very

1436
01:06:48.200 --> 01:06:50.480
focused on trying to make up for this time.

1437
01:06:50.960 --> 01:06:52.440
What do you what do you like about him?

1438
01:06:54.080 --> 01:06:57.920
I do. I like that he's motivated to turn his life around. I do

1439
01:06:57.920 --> 01:07:01.680
think he's like a really hard worker. And when I first met

1440
01:07:01.680 --> 01:07:06.080
with him, like, you know, he's like a social person, like, and

1441
01:07:06.080 --> 01:07:08.640
I don't always date people like that. I usually date like kind

1442
01:07:08.640 --> 01:07:12.440
of more like nerdy, like, computer guys. And he's very

1443
01:07:12.440 --> 01:07:16.800
like, bubbly, like talkative. And so that like made it easier

1444
01:07:16.800 --> 01:07:21.400
for me. And he's very giving like, he's every day. He's

1445
01:07:21.400 --> 01:07:24.080
always giving me stuff. And I'm the first person he's dated

1446
01:07:24.080 --> 01:07:27.440
because I don't really drink either. That's sober. So we did

1447
01:07:27.440 --> 01:07:33.960
like an escape room putt putt. Like we've done like a lot of

1448
01:07:33.960 --> 01:07:34.080
that.

1449
01:07:34.080 --> 01:07:37.280
So what I have down so far is he's a hard worker. He's getting

1450
01:07:37.280 --> 01:07:40.320
his master's degree, which is great. He's a giving and

1451
01:07:40.320 --> 01:07:44.320
generous person. You have in common that you're not really

1452
01:07:44.320 --> 01:07:49.480
partiers. You like that he's outgoing and a conversationalist

1453
01:07:49.520 --> 01:07:54.000
and cares. I'm assuming charming at some level like charismatic.

1454
01:07:55.240 --> 01:07:57.640
Okay, so these are some good things. What else you like about

1455
01:07:57.640 --> 01:07:57.920
him?

1456
01:08:02.800 --> 01:08:07.760
I mean, I think he has a good heart. Like I think that he I

1457
01:08:07.760 --> 01:08:11.120
don't think I think that he's someone who's on his own. And he

1458
01:08:11.120 --> 01:08:15.600
knows that God saved his life in the car accident. And so I think

1459
01:08:15.600 --> 01:08:18.560
he recognizes that faith is important. But like one of the

1460
01:08:18.560 --> 01:08:21.920
first conversations we had, he said, like, he wants to be with

1461
01:08:21.920 --> 01:08:25.040
someone that has faith, but he doesn't care like what it is.

1462
01:08:25.040 --> 01:08:28.200
And I was like, Well, I have to be with someone that believes

1463
01:08:28.200 --> 01:08:31.720
like, Jesus is the Son of God. And that that is the only

1464
01:08:31.720 --> 01:08:35.359
choice. So I think he has like, you know, I'm saying like, he

1465
01:08:35.359 --> 01:08:39.760
has an understanding that there's more to life than just

1466
01:08:39.760 --> 01:08:45.840
here. But he, he is more like, as long as he goes to mass, like

1467
01:08:45.840 --> 01:08:47.399
checks it off the list, sort of.

1468
01:08:47.439 --> 01:08:53.920
Okay, so he's Catholic. Okay. All right. So he's Catholic. So

1469
01:08:53.920 --> 01:08:56.840
you feel like you don't feel like you know, that you're more

1470
01:08:56.840 --> 01:09:01.080
spiritually, I don't even want to say mature. You know, that

1471
01:09:01.080 --> 01:09:03.399
you're more spiritually knowledgeable than he is.

1472
01:09:03.840 --> 01:09:06.840
Yeah. And I've just walked the faith a lot longer than he has.

1473
01:09:06.840 --> 01:09:09.720
I don't think it's necessarily do with the denomination. It's

1474
01:09:09.720 --> 01:09:11.399
just our lifestyle.

1475
01:09:11.399 --> 01:09:14.960
Kind of does. I mean, because, you know, the, the Catholics for

1476
01:09:14.960 --> 01:09:19.640
the most part, don't encourage, you know, like in Christian

1477
01:09:19.640 --> 01:09:22.640
church, you know, most people know to read their Bible on

1478
01:09:22.640 --> 01:09:25.359
their own and develop their own personal relationship with the

1479
01:09:25.359 --> 01:09:31.359
Lord. And the the Catholic model, okay, is more of like a

1480
01:09:31.359 --> 01:09:35.080
Moses model where the priest, you know, is the one that's, you

1481
01:09:35.080 --> 01:09:38.240
know, anointed, they're hearing from the Lord, you know, they're

1482
01:09:38.240 --> 01:09:42.439
kind of a mediator, so to speak. And there isn't a lot of

1483
01:09:42.439 --> 01:09:45.000
encouragement for personal relationship. I know this

1484
01:09:45.000 --> 01:09:47.680
because I used to go to Catholic school for all my grade school

1485
01:09:47.680 --> 01:09:52.120
years. Okay. So in my, my father, my, my, my mom's husband,

1486
01:09:52.120 --> 01:09:56.200
my stepdad, or my bonus dad, also Catholic and his whole

1487
01:09:56.200 --> 01:10:00.040
family, devout Catholic. So can there be

1488
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:02.920
charismatic Catholics, can there be Catholics that just decide that, you

1489
01:10:02.920 --> 01:10:06.200
know, they're going to read the Bible and they're going to develop a relationship

1490
01:10:06.200 --> 01:10:11.840
with Jesus and, you know, are there even, uh, Catholics that are spirit filled and

1491
01:10:11.840 --> 01:10:13.560
they, you know, they continue to go to mass.

1492
01:10:13.560 --> 01:10:15.680
It doesn't mean that they switched to a Protestant church.

1493
01:10:15.680 --> 01:10:16.480
They're still Catholic.

1494
01:10:16.480 --> 01:10:16.800
Yeah.

1495
01:10:17.000 --> 01:10:18.040
There's a lot of those people.

1496
01:10:18.320 --> 01:10:19.720
It doesn't sound like he's one of them yet.

1497
01:10:20.880 --> 01:10:25.680
So, and it is causing a little bit of a friction because it's hard to explain

1498
01:10:25.680 --> 01:10:29.800
when you're this far in, like how my faith affects so many areas and like,

1499
01:10:29.800 --> 01:10:33.120
I tried to tell him about like this group or like, Oh, I have a zoom tonight.

1500
01:10:33.520 --> 01:10:35.680
And it's just okay.

1501
01:10:35.680 --> 01:10:37.560
Like good for you kind of thing.

1502
01:10:37.640 --> 01:10:40.360
Like he doesn't really want more of a community.

1503
01:10:40.360 --> 01:10:40.600
I know.

1504
01:10:40.600 --> 01:10:44.280
But have you talked to him about now that you're two months in, have you said,

1505
01:10:44.280 --> 01:10:50.320
Hey, you know, I really need to be in a romantic relationship with someone

1506
01:10:50.320 --> 01:10:52.320
who I could see myself marrying.

1507
01:10:52.960 --> 01:10:56.880
Um, you know, at your age, you know, you want to have a family, all the things,

1508
01:10:57.200 --> 01:10:59.280
you're dating is for mating at your age.

1509
01:10:59.640 --> 01:11:01.840
And so you're like, Hey, you know, I.

1510
01:11:02.520 --> 01:11:05.920
You know, do you see yourself, you know, pursuing faith?

1511
01:11:05.960 --> 01:11:07.600
Does that something that you're interested in?

1512
01:11:07.600 --> 01:11:11.440
Do you want to grow in this, you know, in this area of your life, or

1513
01:11:11.440 --> 01:11:14.480
you just can kind of content to be where you are because you can just

1514
01:11:14.480 --> 01:11:18.920
let him know that you are going to continue to grow in this area and

1515
01:11:18.920 --> 01:11:24.920
pursue this area and, you know, you're not going to, you're not going to be

1516
01:11:24.920 --> 01:11:26.960
with someone who doesn't want to do that.

1517
01:11:28.080 --> 01:11:30.880
Yeah, we have had some of that conversation for sure.

1518
01:11:30.920 --> 01:11:35.440
And he, that's where sometimes I feel like he's saying stuff because he likes

1519
01:11:35.440 --> 01:11:40.480
me and I'm the first person he's dated that doesn't drink and like, I think

1520
01:11:40.480 --> 01:11:46.000
that he doesn't have like hardly any friends because he's sober now.

1521
01:11:46.440 --> 01:11:50.760
And so I'm feeling like he's just trying to do what I want to do.

1522
01:11:51.760 --> 01:11:56.240
It could be that, or it also could be that, you know, what you're saying

1523
01:11:56.240 --> 01:12:00.360
sounds interesting to him, but he doesn't know how to do it because you

1524
01:12:00.360 --> 01:12:04.720
have to understand that just because people want to do something doesn't

1525
01:12:04.720 --> 01:12:06.200
mean they'll know how to do something.

1526
01:12:06.680 --> 01:12:07.040
Okay.

1527
01:12:07.040 --> 01:12:10.480
You've had the benefit to be part of this community and other communities

1528
01:12:10.480 --> 01:12:14.960
where, you know, you've been nurtured and your relationship with God has grown.

1529
01:12:14.960 --> 01:12:16.920
He hasn't, he hasn't received.

1530
01:12:16.960 --> 01:12:17.280
Yeah.

1531
01:12:18.240 --> 01:12:21.400
And so, um, does he go to church with you?

1532
01:12:22.880 --> 01:12:28.000
No, he goes to, he, he, he's gone to mass more now that like we've started

1533
01:12:28.000 --> 01:12:33.960
dating, cause he knows I go, so he's going to mass is not going to be, that's

1534
01:12:33.960 --> 01:12:35.560
not going to be the bridge for you guys.

1535
01:12:35.880 --> 01:12:37.960
So which church are you going to right now?

1536
01:12:38.640 --> 01:12:41.840
I've been still going to rock city, but that kind of was awkward

1537
01:12:41.840 --> 01:12:43.280
cause he made fun of it one day.

1538
01:12:43.280 --> 01:12:45.600
And then I had to tell him like, that's where I went.

1539
01:12:46.320 --> 01:12:47.720
What did he, what did he say about it?

1540
01:12:49.200 --> 01:12:54.400
Well, somebody had come up to him at the gym and they had started telling

1541
01:12:54.400 --> 01:12:56.640
them that he would, that they were a believer again.

1542
01:12:57.120 --> 01:12:59.280
And I was like, Oh, like, that's so cool.

1543
01:12:59.280 --> 01:13:01.880
But he was kind of like, yeah, but I have faith.

1544
01:13:01.880 --> 01:13:03.120
I didn't need to hear about it.

1545
01:13:03.120 --> 01:13:05.440
And I was like, well, did they say what church they went to?

1546
01:13:05.840 --> 01:13:06.840
And I was just curious.

1547
01:13:06.840 --> 01:13:09.320
And he was like, Oh, probably one of those, whatever.

1548
01:13:09.360 --> 01:13:12.520
I forget what he said, but one of those ones like rock city or this other

1549
01:13:12.520 --> 01:13:14.760
one that's well known in Columbus.

1550
01:13:15.360 --> 01:13:19.120
And then when I said, well, I, it took me a second cause I was embarrassed.

1551
01:13:19.480 --> 01:13:23.400
And then the next day I like followed up and was like, Hey, you know, I just,

1552
01:13:24.280 --> 01:13:26.320
you know, I go to church, but like, you've never, we haven't

1553
01:13:26.320 --> 01:13:27.760
really talked about where I go.

1554
01:13:28.240 --> 01:13:32.320
And so I told him and then he was just like, Oh, whatever.

1555
01:13:32.320 --> 01:13:33.120
He's like, it's fine.

1556
01:13:33.120 --> 01:13:34.960
I make fun of the Catholic church too.

1557
01:13:35.360 --> 01:13:35.680
Okay.

1558
01:13:35.680 --> 01:13:38.240
Are you, is this a romantic relationship?

1559
01:13:38.880 --> 01:13:42.280
So it, it's like very minimal, but yes.

1560
01:13:43.040 --> 01:13:48.280
And that's part of the problem is I don't feel like the, so we saw each

1561
01:13:48.280 --> 01:13:52.040
other last Thursday and like, I know that I should have been flirty and

1562
01:13:52.040 --> 01:13:55.600
I should have been like, you know, like touched his arm or something.

1563
01:13:55.600 --> 01:13:59.040
And I just, I didn't want to touch him.

1564
01:13:59.040 --> 01:14:02.560
And I just gave him like a really quick, like kiss before I left.

1565
01:14:02.560 --> 01:14:07.760
Like, you know, like my really, why don't you want to touch him?

1566
01:14:09.120 --> 01:14:12.040
Well, this is like a thing that's been like issues in the past.

1567
01:14:12.040 --> 01:14:17.200
Like, I know, like, you know, like a little, I, I don't know.

1568
01:14:17.480 --> 01:14:21.200
I told him on the second, on the first date, like I was just upfront and I

1569
01:14:21.200 --> 01:14:25.080
said, Hey, like, uh, just, you know, like, I just don't really like kiss

1570
01:14:25.080 --> 01:14:27.160
anybody on the first date or whatever.

1571
01:14:27.160 --> 01:14:30.880
And because like, I, we've talked about this before that everyone always

1572
01:14:30.880 --> 01:14:34.520
tries to like move in and I can't stand it.

1573
01:14:35.000 --> 01:14:37.920
And so then, um, he's like very patient.

1574
01:14:37.920 --> 01:14:41.080
And then after Valentine's day about like, that was what, like

1575
01:14:41.080 --> 01:14:44.920
five or six weeks in, like, of course he, or I, he kissed me.

1576
01:14:45.520 --> 01:14:49.640
And like, I never feel attracted right away, but like kind of on the dates

1577
01:14:49.640 --> 01:14:53.520
and like, okay, like I can kind of talk myself into being okay with it.

1578
01:14:54.160 --> 01:14:58.680
And then like two weeks ago, I just like could tell that he's starting to

1579
01:14:58.680 --> 01:15:00.000
think that we're like a.

1580
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:02.660
a dating relationship.

1581
01:15:02.660 --> 01:15:05.380
Like he's like, in his mind and the way he talks,

1582
01:15:05.380 --> 01:15:08.500
he just is like a dude that just checks things off his list

1583
01:15:08.500 --> 01:15:10.860
and I check off his list.

1584
01:15:10.860 --> 01:15:14.980
And so, and I think that, and he's took a promotion,

1585
01:15:14.980 --> 01:15:18.340
he's so focused with his job that I think in his mind,

1586
01:15:18.340 --> 01:15:21.780
like if I would just, he's not pushing me for anything,

1587
01:15:21.780 --> 01:15:23.460
but he doesn't understand why like,

1588
01:15:23.460 --> 01:15:25.740
I wouldn't want to just come over and hang out in his house

1589
01:15:25.740 --> 01:15:27.860
late at night or like whatever,

1590
01:15:27.860 --> 01:15:31.000
because he doesn't have the time and space during the week

1591
01:15:31.000 --> 01:15:32.360
for us to really date.

1592
01:15:32.360 --> 01:15:34.360
And so I felt that shit, sorry.

1593
01:15:34.360 --> 01:15:35.880
So here's the thing you guys,

1594
01:15:35.880 --> 01:15:38.160
I put this on my Instagram, go check it out,

1595
01:15:38.160 --> 01:15:40.400
but I put a post up yesterday

1596
01:15:40.400 --> 01:15:41.940
and I got a little bit of flack for it,

1597
01:15:41.940 --> 01:15:44.400
but it just basically says that

1598
01:15:44.400 --> 01:15:46.800
if he's not surrendered to you,

1599
01:15:46.800 --> 01:15:48.360
I'm sorry, if he's not surrendered to God,

1600
01:15:48.360 --> 01:15:50.520
he cannot be committed to you.

1601
01:15:50.520 --> 01:15:52.680
All right, that's just the truth.

1602
01:15:52.680 --> 01:15:53.720
All right, and you know,

1603
01:15:53.720 --> 01:15:57.000
I got a little bit of pushback on it.

1604
01:15:57.380 --> 01:15:59.500
And the reason why I got some pushback on it

1605
01:15:59.500 --> 01:16:04.500
is because this girl said, you know,

1606
01:16:04.540 --> 01:16:08.540
my dad didn't become a Christian until I was two years old

1607
01:16:08.540 --> 01:16:10.140
and he was committed to my mom.

1608
01:16:10.140 --> 01:16:11.400
Well, you guys, anyone can commit

1609
01:16:11.400 --> 01:16:13.860
for a short amount of time, okay?

1610
01:16:13.860 --> 01:16:15.640
And remember this girl that's saying this to me

1611
01:16:15.640 --> 01:16:17.740
is like 30 something years old.

1612
01:16:17.740 --> 01:16:19.180
I just got to tell you guys something,

1613
01:16:19.180 --> 01:16:20.580
it's really important that you hear this.

1614
01:16:20.580 --> 01:16:22.000
So write this down.

1615
01:16:23.180 --> 01:16:26.320
The world is different now than it was 35 years ago.

1616
01:16:27.060 --> 01:16:28.300
Okay?

1617
01:16:28.300 --> 01:16:30.140
You know that because a lot of you,

1618
01:16:31.180 --> 01:16:33.280
you know, you're older than 35.

1619
01:16:33.280 --> 01:16:34.860
You know that life is different now

1620
01:16:34.860 --> 01:16:37.260
than the people that were born in the 60s and 70s,

1621
01:16:37.260 --> 01:16:40.540
50s, 60s, 70s, life is different now.

1622
01:16:40.540 --> 01:16:42.980
Okay, people are different now.

1623
01:16:42.980 --> 01:16:44.060
And yeah, great.

1624
01:16:44.060 --> 01:16:46.740
Okay, so your dad was committed and faithful to your mom

1625
01:16:46.740 --> 01:16:50.500
for two years before he had a higher authority

1626
01:16:50.500 --> 01:16:52.360
that he was looking to in his life

1627
01:16:52.360 --> 01:16:55.320
that was keeping him in balance in things, right?

1628
01:16:56.220 --> 01:16:58.460
Maybe he came from a family that had good morals.

1629
01:16:58.460 --> 01:17:00.540
Maybe he had a good upbringing, he had good family.

1630
01:17:00.540 --> 01:17:01.380
It doesn't matter.

1631
01:17:01.380 --> 01:17:03.780
Maybe he just really was still in that infatuation stage

1632
01:17:03.780 --> 01:17:05.840
with your mom and really just wanted that.

1633
01:17:05.840 --> 01:17:07.300
But then at some point in time,

1634
01:17:07.300 --> 01:17:09.780
you're two years old, he became a Christian,

1635
01:17:09.780 --> 01:17:12.440
which is awesome and really important

1636
01:17:12.440 --> 01:17:15.320
because that is what was keeping him,

1637
01:17:15.320 --> 01:17:18.540
you know, really focused and committed going forward.

1638
01:17:20.740 --> 01:17:22.780
And obviously nothing really serious

1639
01:17:22.800 --> 01:17:24.840
came to try to pull him away before that.

1640
01:17:26.040 --> 01:17:29.720
Guys, nowadays, it's not like it was 35 years ago.

1641
01:17:29.720 --> 01:17:33.680
When I say that there's something on every street corner

1642
01:17:33.680 --> 01:17:36.280
to try to pull you away from your relationship,

1643
01:17:36.280 --> 01:17:37.280
I'm not kidding.

1644
01:17:38.440 --> 01:17:40.740
Everywhere, everywhere you look.

1645
01:17:42.200 --> 01:17:44.280
I'm just gonna tell you guys, gentlemen,

1646
01:17:44.280 --> 01:17:46.040
I don't know how grown men

1647
01:17:47.120 --> 01:17:48.520
doesn't really affect women as much

1648
01:17:48.520 --> 01:17:50.320
because of the kind of stuff that's being put out there.

1649
01:17:50.340 --> 01:17:52.900
Women get affected differently with materialism

1650
01:17:52.900 --> 01:17:56.140
and unrealistic beauty standards on Instagram

1651
01:17:56.140 --> 01:17:57.180
and places like that.

1652
01:17:57.180 --> 01:18:00.500
But guys, I don't know how you can even be on social media

1653
01:18:00.500 --> 01:18:05.140
because of how much pornographic content is on there.

1654
01:18:06.900 --> 01:18:09.260
I mean, it's like a liability.

1655
01:18:10.340 --> 01:18:11.660
My husband doesn't have Instagram.

1656
01:18:11.660 --> 01:18:13.620
He has it, but he's not on it.

1657
01:18:13.620 --> 01:18:15.900
And he's not on it because, you know,

1658
01:18:15.900 --> 01:18:18.480
there's just tons and tons and tons and tons

1659
01:18:18.500 --> 01:18:20.280
of inappropriate pictures.

1660
01:18:21.380 --> 01:18:23.300
Half naked women.

1661
01:18:23.300 --> 01:18:25.140
In fact, I feel like the only thing there is

1662
01:18:25.140 --> 01:18:27.340
is half naked women or naked women.

1663
01:18:27.340 --> 01:18:29.060
And so the bottom line is,

1664
01:18:29.060 --> 01:18:32.040
is that it's the wild, wild west out there.

1665
01:18:33.020 --> 01:18:36.100
And all of us need to be in relationship with someone

1666
01:18:36.100 --> 01:18:38.600
who's not surrendered to us or surrendered to God.

1667
01:18:40.020 --> 01:18:41.420
Because if they're surrendered to God,

1668
01:18:41.420 --> 01:18:43.360
then they're going to be committed to you.

1669
01:18:43.360 --> 01:18:45.980
And I don't mean just one surrendered to God.

1670
01:18:45.980 --> 01:18:48.260
And that doesn't mean just because they go to church, y'all,

1671
01:18:49.020 --> 01:18:49.860
that means that they're surrendered to God.

1672
01:18:49.860 --> 01:18:50.880
There's tons of people that go to church

1673
01:18:50.880 --> 01:18:52.760
that are not surrendered to God.

1674
01:18:52.760 --> 01:18:54.220
They go to church every single Sunday.

1675
01:18:54.220 --> 01:18:55.760
They go to church twice a week,

1676
01:18:56.920 --> 01:18:59.020
but they're the captain of their own soul.

1677
01:19:00.440 --> 01:19:01.600
They're not surrendered.

1678
01:19:01.600 --> 01:19:03.160
They're just churched.

1679
01:19:03.160 --> 01:19:04.320
They're churchy people.

1680
01:19:07.520 --> 01:19:08.800
We want someone who's surrendered.

1681
01:19:08.800 --> 01:19:09.640
What's that look like?

1682
01:19:09.640 --> 01:19:10.460
That's a daily thing.

1683
01:19:10.460 --> 01:19:11.960
That's like, can I pick up my cross

1684
01:19:11.960 --> 01:19:13.520
and follow me kind of thing.

1685
01:19:13.520 --> 01:19:15.720
And here's the thing, Lindsay,

1686
01:19:15.720 --> 01:19:18.000
I know her and I've known her for a while now.

1687
01:19:18.900 --> 01:19:20.300
She's not a Sunday Christian.

1688
01:19:22.940 --> 01:19:25.540
She's someone who really loves Jesus.

1689
01:19:25.540 --> 01:19:27.780
She's someone who wants to live an overcoming life.

1690
01:19:27.780 --> 01:19:29.740
She's someone who wants to walk after the spirit

1691
01:19:29.740 --> 01:19:30.560
and not the flesh.

1692
01:19:30.560 --> 01:19:31.700
And so what is she going to need?

1693
01:19:31.700 --> 01:19:36.140
She's going to need someone that's doing that as well.

1694
01:19:36.140 --> 01:19:39.940
But she's also been in a dating drought for years now.

1695
01:19:39.940 --> 01:19:42.380
So it's really hard to give up a flesh and blood man

1696
01:19:42.380 --> 01:19:43.580
who's sending her flowers

1697
01:19:43.580 --> 01:19:44.980
and been dating her for two months

1698
01:19:45.000 --> 01:19:48.200
and really wants to make it work with her.

1699
01:19:48.200 --> 01:19:49.440
So Lindsay, what you have to do

1700
01:19:49.440 --> 01:19:51.920
is you have to have a conversation with him

1701
01:19:51.920 --> 01:19:53.760
and you have to stop holding back.

1702
01:19:53.760 --> 01:19:55.800
Two months in is long enough to have this,

1703
01:19:55.800 --> 01:19:58.600
especially at your age, you don't desire.

1704
01:19:58.600 --> 01:20:00.440
And it's not that she's old, you guys.

1705
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:07.680
she wants to have babies. She wants to get married and have children. Okay. And so it's time

1706
01:20:08.560 --> 01:20:12.160
two months in, it's time for her to say, Hey, listen, this is what I'm looking for.

1707
01:20:12.160 --> 01:20:17.200
I want someone who is going to go to my kind of church with me, a church where we're following

1708
01:20:17.200 --> 01:20:20.960
after Holy spirit, not a church where we're punching a religious time card saying that

1709
01:20:20.960 --> 01:20:26.480
we went somewhere. I understand that that doesn't make sense to you, that that's not your background,

1710
01:20:27.040 --> 01:20:34.640
but I need someone who wants to pursue that. That's someone who wants to, you know, grow

1711
01:20:35.520 --> 01:20:42.560
spiritually. That is what I'm looking for in a relationship, not flowers, not dates out,

1712
01:20:42.560 --> 01:20:49.360
not dinners, but someone who is basically surrendered to God. Okay. You guys, we're

1713
01:20:49.360 --> 01:20:53.120
not going to give people demerits because they don't come from the same place that we come from.

1714
01:20:53.120 --> 01:20:57.840
And they haven't gotten the chance to grow the way that all of us have had the chance to grow.

1715
01:20:57.840 --> 01:21:02.720
A lot of you have been in this community and supernatural Saturdays are rad. Okay.

1716
01:21:04.000 --> 01:21:11.520
If that's all you got, you got a lot more than most people out there as far as spiritual,

1717
01:21:12.480 --> 01:21:18.560
you know, deposit. And so this guy hasn't had that opportunity. He grew up Catholic.

1718
01:21:18.560 --> 01:21:24.320
All he knows is what he knows, but we also have to see a hunger for more. And so Lindsay,

1719
01:21:24.320 --> 01:21:27.920
you're going to have to have a conversation with him and basically just ask him, Hey,

1720
01:21:27.920 --> 01:21:32.560
you know, are you hungry for more? You know? And if he is, that's going to look like something.

1721
01:21:33.840 --> 01:21:38.560
I don't want you ladies to be afraid to point a man with a good heart in the right direction,

1722
01:21:38.560 --> 01:21:41.520
because once again, God doesn't see the outside. He sees the heart.

1723
01:21:42.320 --> 01:21:46.400
There are people that are going to church more than once a week that do not have a good heart.

1724
01:21:46.400 --> 01:21:49.120
All right. They have a stubborn heart. They have a prideful heart.

1725
01:21:52.400 --> 01:21:58.880
Right now, that pastor that I had, I love him. I bless him. It hurts me so bad that he is going to

1726
01:21:58.880 --> 01:22:04.240
the Supreme court and possibly going back to prison on his last appeal and final appeal.

1727
01:22:04.240 --> 01:22:08.400
But I really feel in my spirit that the reason why it's happening is because he's unrepentant

1728
01:22:08.400 --> 01:22:14.320
and he's hardened his heart. He doesn't want to admit that what he did was wrong. He thinks that

1729
01:22:14.320 --> 01:22:19.120
he's the victim in this situation and he's destroyed a lot of people's lives. And until

1730
01:22:19.840 --> 01:22:26.160
he really repents, it's not that God doesn't want to show him mercy. Do you know that God can't show

1731
01:22:26.160 --> 01:22:34.160
us mercy? Like it's not that he can't because he's God. It means that it's blocked. God's trying to

1732
01:22:34.160 --> 01:22:38.720
show us mercy, but the mercy is not making it to our lives because we have unforgiveness

1733
01:22:39.600 --> 01:22:44.160
because we have hard hearts because we refuse to repent. What do you think would have happened

1734
01:22:44.160 --> 01:22:48.000
when the prophet showed up to David and told him the whole story about the lamb?

1735
01:22:49.760 --> 01:22:53.280
And David would have said, Hey, I got a bunch of sheep out there. Just take one of them and give

1736
01:22:53.280 --> 01:22:58.400
it to the guy. And the prophet would have said, you're the guy. And David would have just had

1737
01:22:58.400 --> 01:23:02.320
him killed because he didn't want to hear that. What do you think would happen in that story?

1738
01:23:03.040 --> 01:23:06.560
The whole reason why God says that David is a man after his own heart is not because David was a

1739
01:23:06.560 --> 01:23:10.160
perfect person. He wasn't, he made a lot of mistakes, a lot of really bad mistakes,

1740
01:23:10.160 --> 01:23:14.560
but the reason why he was a man after God's own heart is because his heart was towards the Lord.

1741
01:23:15.360 --> 01:23:24.880
He wanted to repent. He wanted to make amends. God can work with that. So if what Lindsay is saying

1742
01:23:24.880 --> 01:23:28.480
is true, and this man really does have a good heart, but he just lacks knowledge. He lacks

1743
01:23:28.560 --> 01:23:32.560
discipleship. Then Lindsay, don't be afraid to point him in the right direction and see what

1744
01:23:32.560 --> 01:23:39.040
happens. Okay. But if he doesn't want that and you, and you, and you feel in your gut,

1745
01:23:39.040 --> 01:23:43.040
like he's only saying yes, because, you know, once again, you think that he just

1746
01:23:44.080 --> 01:23:50.560
sees a good thing, which is you and is trying to win you over, but his heart really isn't in it.

1747
01:23:51.120 --> 01:23:54.240
Then you can feel free to not be afraid to move on.

1748
01:23:55.200 --> 01:24:02.720
Okay. Yeah, I'll do it. Thank you. Okay. Can you keep us posted? Yeah, for sure. Okay. All right,

1749
01:24:02.720 --> 01:24:08.480
you guys, we have a few minutes for, um, some grab bag questions. So put them up in the chat.

1750
01:24:09.360 --> 01:24:13.760
Is this helping anyone? Can I see your hands? If you learn something tonight, you feel like

1751
01:24:13.760 --> 01:24:17.760
there was something that spoke to your heart, something that you might put in your back pocket,

1752
01:24:17.760 --> 01:24:22.240
use later. Maybe you're not in the situation now, but you're not in the situation now,

1753
01:24:22.240 --> 01:24:30.160
but you might, you might use it later. Okay. Half everyone here learn something. It's good.

1754
01:24:30.880 --> 01:24:34.080
You guys, it's not the same out there as it was before. It's not,

1755
01:24:34.080 --> 01:24:38.320
and we need to stop acting like it is. It's important that we understand what we're dealing

1756
01:24:38.320 --> 01:24:45.760
with here. You guys have all been called to marriage and family in the middle of a war.

1757
01:24:45.760 --> 01:25:03.280
Ladies, you are war brides, gentlemen. You are men that are in a war looking for a party.

1758
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:03.440
partner that is going to be with you in hard times.

1759
01:25:05.680 --> 01:25:10.080
I'm not a doomsday or, but I'm telling you things are dark out there and

1760
01:25:10.080 --> 01:25:13.960
they're not getting lighter just because Trump got elected president.

1761
01:25:15.000 --> 01:25:18.040
For those of you that have pinned all of your hopes and dreams on that.

1762
01:25:20.160 --> 01:25:22.680
Now you notice that doesn't make me for Trump or against Trump.

1763
01:25:22.680 --> 01:25:24.040
I'm not saying anything about that.

1764
01:25:24.040 --> 01:25:29.280
I'm just saying that things are not going to magically be better.

1765
01:25:31.000 --> 01:25:35.280
There's a spiritual war happening and it's intensifying.

1766
01:25:35.280 --> 01:25:41.520
And so if you want to partner during a time like this, a time of deconstruction,

1767
01:25:41.520 --> 01:25:43.480
a time when things are falling apart so

1768
01:25:43.480 --> 01:25:47.720
that later on better things can come together, you need to choose wisely.

1769
01:25:50.280 --> 01:25:53.640
You do not choose gentlemen based on what she looks like on the outside,

1770
01:25:53.640 --> 01:25:56.640
because guess what, you're going to get cockled.

1771
01:25:57.640 --> 01:26:01.320
That's a word that I just learned and I wanted to use it in a sentence.

1772
01:26:01.320 --> 01:26:02.760
And so I did.

1773
01:26:02.760 --> 01:26:04.200
You're going to get hoodwinked.

1774
01:26:04.200 --> 01:26:05.360
You're going to get tricked.

1775
01:26:09.720 --> 01:26:12.920
Now she doesn't have to have a face that only her mother could love.

1776
01:26:12.920 --> 01:26:16.360
But at the same time, if you put everything

1777
01:26:18.800 --> 01:26:22.240
into someone's outside, it's not going to be good.

1778
01:26:23.240 --> 01:26:24.920
You need a woman who knows how to pray.

1779
01:26:24.920 --> 01:26:29.920
All right, someone named David, I have a couple of Davids, including my own.

1780
01:26:29.920 --> 01:26:32.640
David Van Roen had his hand up for quite a while.

1781
01:26:35.120 --> 01:26:38.160
Did you have your hand up because you're just having your hand up because I told

1782
01:26:38.160 --> 01:26:40.480
people to put their hands up or do you have a question, David?

1783
01:26:40.480 --> 01:26:43.280
It was actually a question before and I just kept it up because it was good

1784
01:26:43.280 --> 01:26:44.800
information and I saw both.

1785
01:26:44.800 --> 01:26:47.920
I'm going to put my hand up because I have a couple of Davids, including my own.

1786
01:26:47.920 --> 01:26:50.560
David Van Roen had his hand up for quite a while.

1787
01:26:51.280 --> 01:26:57.360
So both OK, just what's a good grace period for deciphering

1788
01:26:57.360 --> 01:27:01.400
whether someone's avoiding attachment or just has life going on?

1789
01:27:01.400 --> 01:27:07.160
It's been more than 24 hours since asking her out on a video chat date.

1790
01:27:08.160 --> 01:27:11.480
We've been talking for two days on Upward.

1791
01:27:13.360 --> 01:27:17.640
OK, so you are chatting over a dating app and you asked her on a date,

1792
01:27:17.640 --> 01:27:18.480
do you live locally?

1793
01:27:20.280 --> 01:27:24.880
She's 500 miles away from me, so video chat seemed like an appropriate thing.

1794
01:27:25.960 --> 01:27:30.120
OK, so you asked her, OK, so the date that you asked her on is the video chat.

1795
01:27:30.760 --> 01:27:32.120
Yes. OK.

1796
01:27:32.120 --> 01:27:35.240
And she left you on read on the dating app.

1797
01:27:35.240 --> 01:27:38.400
She didn't answer, didn't answer, hasn't like.

1798
01:27:39.400 --> 01:27:41.680
Blocked me or disappeared yet, but.

1799
01:27:43.440 --> 01:27:46.680
Just like nothing, so it was like initially a lot of

1800
01:27:48.320 --> 01:27:49.960
back and forth.

1801
01:27:49.960 --> 01:27:51.280
It was cool information.

1802
01:27:51.280 --> 01:27:54.080
We both grew up in the same town on North Side of Chicago.

1803
01:27:55.040 --> 01:27:56.480
And she's an evangelist.

1804
01:27:56.480 --> 01:27:58.760
I'm non-denominational.

1805
01:27:58.760 --> 01:28:01.920
So it's just I'm trying not to feed into

1806
01:28:03.720 --> 01:28:05.840
the way my mind goes.

1807
01:28:05.840 --> 01:28:08.560
And just trying to be.

1808
01:28:08.560 --> 01:28:09.720
Let me ask you a question.

1809
01:28:09.720 --> 01:28:13.440
When you were chatting back and forth, did you happen to mention

1810
01:28:13.880 --> 01:28:16.640
that, you know, you're moving to such and such a place

1811
01:28:16.640 --> 01:28:18.680
and you're going to be there for a couple of years in school?

1812
01:28:18.680 --> 01:28:20.800
Like, did that come up in conversation?

1813
01:28:20.800 --> 01:28:22.440
It's on my dating profile.

1814
01:28:22.440 --> 01:28:25.320
OK, so that's just a lot.

1815
01:28:26.760 --> 01:28:29.480
And, you know, she already lives 500 miles away.

1816
01:28:29.480 --> 01:28:31.560
So here's the deal.

1817
01:28:31.560 --> 01:28:34.920
She could just be busy a lot of times just because people have the app.

1818
01:28:34.920 --> 01:28:37.040
You guys doesn't mean that they look at it every day.

1819
01:28:37.680 --> 01:28:39.880
I know that we could argue, hey, if she was really interested

1820
01:28:39.880 --> 01:28:42.320
in having fun talking to him, that she would definitely make sure

1821
01:28:42.320 --> 01:28:44.560
that she looked at it. Yeah.

1822
01:28:44.560 --> 01:28:48.240
But at the same time, flirting with someone and having good conversation

1823
01:28:48.240 --> 01:28:52.280
with someone and also being realistic about whether or not

1824
01:28:52.280 --> 01:28:55.120
you could be in a relationship with them are two different things.

1825
01:28:57.080 --> 01:29:01.160
You know, I mean, you live 500 miles away, which is far.

1826
01:29:01.880 --> 01:29:07.240
OK, and and you also have a bunch of life transitions coming up,

1827
01:29:07.240 --> 01:29:09.760
which you've been very honest about, and I appreciate that.

1828
01:29:10.040 --> 01:29:13.600
So it's possible that she's just like, you know, why do it?

1829
01:29:14.560 --> 01:29:18.440
And it's also possible that she's just got busy and just hasn't looked at her app.

1830
01:29:21.360 --> 01:29:23.160
Both are possible.

1831
01:29:23.160 --> 01:29:26.640
Right. And is there a.

1832
01:29:26.640 --> 01:29:30.000
An appropriate transition from

1833
01:29:30.000 --> 01:29:34.760
that point between community from level one to level two.

1834
01:29:36.200 --> 01:29:37.680
So wait, I'm taking that to.

1835
01:29:37.680 --> 01:29:40.560
Is there appropriate transition between just being in community

1836
01:29:40.560 --> 01:29:43.960
together on an app or like a community like this, then going into, hey,

1837
01:29:43.960 --> 01:29:46.800
I'd like to get to know you more, I'd like to know more about like this.

1838
01:29:47.000 --> 01:29:51.720
Yeah, I'd like to set up a date with you or more specifically for online dating.

1839
01:29:52.480 --> 01:29:55.880
I'd like to verify you're a person.

1840
01:29:55.880 --> 01:29:57.320
Oh, I think. Yeah.

1841
01:29:57.320 --> 01:29:59.680
Yeah. No, I mean, here's the thing.

1842
01:29:59.680 --> 01:29:59.960
I.

1843
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:02.420
know that we always teach in here that, you know,

1844
01:30:02.420 --> 01:30:05.120
we should go straight for the video chat

1845
01:30:05.120 --> 01:30:06.560
or can I have your number?

1846
01:30:06.560 --> 01:30:07.920
But a lot of scammers do that too.

1847
01:30:07.920 --> 01:30:10.340
In fact, I want to say something that's really pathetic,

1848
01:30:10.340 --> 01:30:11.880
but I'm going to say it anyway.

1849
01:30:11.880 --> 01:30:14.760
And that is what women have become accustomed to

1850
01:30:14.760 --> 01:30:18.800
with dating apps are the only guys who don't just want to,

1851
01:30:18.800 --> 01:30:19.720
Hey, how you doing?

1852
01:30:19.720 --> 01:30:22.780
Every day and talk and text and text

1853
01:30:22.780 --> 01:30:24.240
without really asking for the date.

1854
01:30:24.240 --> 01:30:27.440
The only guys that go straight to trying to get a date

1855
01:30:27.440 --> 01:30:29.680
are the guys that are up to no good.

1856
01:30:29.680 --> 01:30:32.640
And so that puts all of you guys in a, you know,

1857
01:30:32.640 --> 01:30:35.040
in a bad place because, you know,

1858
01:30:35.040 --> 01:30:38.640
you really do want to use your training that you've gotten

1859
01:30:38.640 --> 01:30:40.120
and go to a place where,

1860
01:30:40.120 --> 01:30:41.980
Hey, we're going to get to know each other better.

1861
01:30:41.980 --> 01:30:45.240
But unfortunately women have learned that, you know,

1862
01:30:45.240 --> 01:30:47.800
that might not be a good sign.

1863
01:30:47.800 --> 01:30:50.640
And so you still need to do it,

1864
01:30:50.640 --> 01:30:53.020
but I'm just telling you if someone seems kind of weird

1865
01:30:53.020 --> 01:30:53.920
about doing it,

1866
01:30:53.920 --> 01:30:56.500
it might be because they're just kind of afraid.

1867
01:30:57.400 --> 01:30:59.480
Raise your hand, not even just on dating apps,

1868
01:31:00.280 --> 01:31:01.480
but raise your hand if you're hyper-vigilant,

1869
01:31:01.480 --> 01:31:06.280
just about being scammed in life, just in life.

1870
01:31:06.280 --> 01:31:08.240
I was talking to an online dentist

1871
01:31:08.240 --> 01:31:09.720
and I was like, not even sure.

1872
01:31:09.720 --> 01:31:10.560
I was like,

1873
01:31:10.560 --> 01:31:13.000
are they really giving me a video tour of their office?

1874
01:31:13.000 --> 01:31:15.660
Or is this just like AI?

1875
01:31:17.640 --> 01:31:19.760
For real though, you know,

1876
01:31:19.760 --> 01:31:22.160
it's like, cause you have to put like a down payment down.

1877
01:31:22.160 --> 01:31:24.960
And I was just like, I don't know.

1878
01:31:24.960 --> 01:31:26.640
So look at all those hands, you guys,

1879
01:31:26.640 --> 01:31:29.880
we live in a world where because of AI,

1880
01:31:29.880 --> 01:31:32.000
we're not even really sure what the heck's going on.

1881
01:31:32.000 --> 01:31:33.880
Are we even really talking to a real person

1882
01:31:33.880 --> 01:31:35.920
or are we talking to a hologram?

1883
01:31:38.500 --> 01:31:40.340
Yeah, so much is fake now.

1884
01:31:41.240 --> 01:31:42.080
All right.

1885
01:31:42.080 --> 01:31:44.840
So this is what I want to say to you, David.

1886
01:31:44.840 --> 01:31:47.600
In the land of AI,

1887
01:31:48.560 --> 01:31:50.280
in the land of fake people,

1888
01:31:51.480 --> 01:31:52.820
a real man is king.

1889
01:31:54.400 --> 01:31:55.720
Okay?

1890
01:31:55.720 --> 01:31:59.640
So be yourself, ask for the date,

1891
01:31:59.640 --> 01:32:01.280
ask for the video chat.

1892
01:32:01.280 --> 01:32:02.360
If she doesn't give it to you,

1893
01:32:02.360 --> 01:32:04.320
if she leaves you on read, if she disappears,

1894
01:32:04.320 --> 01:32:06.000
that just means that's not your spirit mate.

1895
01:32:06.000 --> 01:32:08.680
That's not someone who's really ready to trust someone.

1896
01:32:08.680 --> 01:32:10.800
And you need someone who's ready to trust someone.

1897
01:32:10.800 --> 01:32:12.520
And so keep doing it.

1898
01:32:12.520 --> 01:32:13.760
The only transition I can tell you

1899
01:32:13.760 --> 01:32:16.240
about going from one to two is just do it.

1900
01:32:16.240 --> 01:32:17.360
Just say, hey, you know,

1901
01:32:17.360 --> 01:32:21.600
I really don't like talking back and forth and texting.

1902
01:32:21.600 --> 01:32:24.720
I have a dating coach and she says, let's go.

1903
01:32:24.720 --> 01:32:26.280
Let's go to a video chat.

1904
01:32:26.280 --> 01:32:27.960
Let's go to an in-person.

1905
01:32:27.960 --> 01:32:29.600
And I would really like to do that.

1906
01:32:29.600 --> 01:32:30.720
I'd like to get to know you better.

1907
01:32:30.720 --> 01:32:33.800
I'd like to see, you know, what you're all about.

1908
01:32:33.800 --> 01:32:38.080
And however you're comfortable doing that,

1909
01:32:38.080 --> 01:32:40.080
guys, you can definitely say that.

1910
01:32:40.080 --> 01:32:42.120
However you're comfortable doing that.

1911
01:32:42.120 --> 01:32:42.940
You can give me your number.

1912
01:32:42.940 --> 01:32:44.320
You can not give me your number.

1913
01:32:44.320 --> 01:32:45.520
I can give you my number.

1914
01:32:45.520 --> 01:32:47.320
You can call me.

1915
01:32:47.320 --> 01:32:48.440
You know, we can use Zoom.

1916
01:32:48.440 --> 01:32:50.240
We can use FaceTime.

1917
01:32:50.240 --> 01:32:51.080
We can do WhatsApp.

1918
01:32:51.080 --> 01:32:52.680
We can do whatever you want.

1919
01:32:52.680 --> 01:32:53.740
You choose.

1920
01:32:54.800 --> 01:32:55.800
Put the ball on her court.

1921
01:32:55.800 --> 01:32:57.920
Let her choose where she feels comfortable

1922
01:32:57.920 --> 01:32:59.800
connecting outside of the app.

1923
01:32:59.800 --> 01:33:00.640
Cool?

1924
01:33:01.600 --> 01:33:02.720
Cool.

1925
01:33:02.720 --> 01:33:03.760
Thank you very much, Jackie.

1926
01:33:03.760 --> 01:33:05.880
Nora said carrier pigeons.

1927
01:33:05.880 --> 01:33:06.800
What?

1928
01:33:06.800 --> 01:33:07.800
No.

1929
01:33:07.800 --> 01:33:09.040
African or European?

1930
01:33:11.520 --> 01:33:12.920
The Monty Python joke.

1931
01:33:13.760 --> 01:33:15.040
Oh yeah, yeah.

1932
01:33:15.040 --> 01:33:17.720
Yes, you guys, I love Monty Python.

1933
01:33:17.720 --> 01:33:18.760
I sneeze at you.

1934
01:33:20.520 --> 01:33:23.280
I blow my nose in your general direction.

1935
01:33:23.280 --> 01:33:24.100
Okay.

1936
01:33:25.120 --> 01:33:27.080
For those of you that have not seen Monty Python,

1937
01:33:27.080 --> 01:33:28.080
just Google it.

1938
01:33:28.080 --> 01:33:31.360
Okay, let's see what else we have.

1939
01:33:31.360 --> 01:33:32.200
Anybody else?

1940
01:33:34.920 --> 01:33:36.440
There's lots of ladies in here that are like,

1941
01:33:36.440 --> 01:33:38.640
David, I'll video chat with you.

1942
01:33:38.640 --> 01:33:39.480
Let's go.

1943
01:33:41.160 --> 01:33:43.160
I'm putting that tone of voice to it

1944
01:33:43.160 --> 01:33:44.680
because it's just fun.

1945
01:33:48.840 --> 01:33:50.240
Okay, let's see.

1946
01:33:50.240 --> 01:33:51.080
Anybody else?

1947
01:33:51.080 --> 01:33:52.280
We're kind of at time right now.

1948
01:33:52.280 --> 01:33:53.640
Did you guys have a good time?

1949
01:33:53.680 --> 01:33:55.320
And there's a lot of good information in here.

1950
01:33:55.320 --> 01:33:57.640
I wanna kind of keep it at 90 minutes if we can.

1951
01:33:57.640 --> 01:33:58.680
And so I'm just gonna pray for you.

1952
01:33:58.680 --> 01:34:01.200
Father God, I thank you for your sons and daughters, Lord.

1953
01:34:01.200 --> 01:34:03.440
I thank you that they are revivalists

1954
01:34:03.440 --> 01:34:04.840
of marriage and family.

1955
01:34:04.840 --> 01:34:07.400
And it's a dark world out there, but they are the light.

1956
01:34:07.400 --> 01:34:09.320
And so Father, I pray that the right people

1957
01:34:09.320 --> 01:34:11.160
will be attracted to their light.

1958
01:34:11.160 --> 01:34:13.120
I pray that they would have intersections

1959
01:34:13.120 --> 01:34:14.480
with people that know someone

1960
01:34:14.480 --> 01:34:16.800
who knows someone who knows their spirit mate.

1961
01:34:16.800 --> 01:34:20.040
I pray that you would highlight them from heaven, God,

1962
01:34:20.040 --> 01:34:21.880
to people that they should have in their life,

1963
01:34:21.880 --> 01:34:23.480
friends, community.

1964
01:34:23.480 --> 01:34:25.160
Thank you that this is an in-person year.

1965
01:34:25.160 --> 01:34:27.480
We thank you this year for full circle.

1966
01:34:27.480 --> 01:34:30.640
We thank you that this is a year for transition.

1967
01:34:30.640 --> 01:34:35.600
We thank you that this is a year for supernatural miracles.

1968
01:34:35.600 --> 01:34:38.200
And we just are so thankful

1969
01:34:38.200 --> 01:34:39.840
that we are part of this together

1970
01:34:39.840 --> 01:34:42.760
and that we're locking arms with you and with each other.

1971
01:34:44.360 --> 01:34:46.120
Help these men.

1972
01:34:46.120 --> 01:34:49.440
Proverbs 18, 22, Lord, a man discovering

1973
01:34:49.480 --> 01:34:52.640
and seeing a woman who is his wife

1974
01:34:52.640 --> 01:34:56.240
because he's obtained favor from you to see his good thing.

1975
01:34:56.240 --> 01:34:58.400
I pray you would open their eyes.

1976
01:34:58.400 --> 01:35:00.400
If there's any blockage, if there's any.

1977
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:02.480
scales so to speak, that that would fall off their eyes

1978
01:35:02.480 --> 01:35:04.760
and they would be able to see very clearly

1979
01:35:04.760 --> 01:35:07.080
who is gonna be a good partner, a good help mate,

1980
01:35:07.080 --> 01:35:10.600
a good spirit mate for their future together

1981
01:35:10.600 --> 01:35:13.320
and all the things that you've called them to do together

1982
01:35:13.320 --> 01:35:14.960
in their lineage and legacy.

1983
01:35:14.960 --> 01:35:17.440
I pray that you would get their hearts prepared to receive

1984
01:35:17.440 --> 01:35:21.080
both men and women and we ask it in Jesus name, amen.

1985
01:35:21.080 --> 01:35:21.920
All right, love you guys.

1986
01:35:21.920 --> 01:35:23.520
See you this weekend.

1987
01:35:23.520 --> 01:35:26.420
Until then, bye, ciao for now.

1988
01:35:26.420 --> 01:35:28.100
Night.