WEBVTT

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Hey, how's moving? It's kind of crazy. Hey, Josh. So, um, just

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so you know, this week, wait, is the 20th this week? It is,

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right? Yeah. 17th today. So 320. Jackie and David are co

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teaching your life starts now on the Thursday night thing. And

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then on the 25th, which is next week, they have a single

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spotlight. So they're saying email them if you want in on it.

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So I just wanted to give you guys a heads up. And I'll remind

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you at the end. So how's everybody doing? All right. I've

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just made broke some barriers and I'm good. Jackie and Dave

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have an event Jersey I plan to go. I wanted to spotlight but

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they say I have to do date coaching with you. Okay. Yeah,

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we've been trying. We've been trying to figure that out. It's

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it's been kind of crazy. So we'll get her done. And I'm

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trying to change my perception on dating instead of trying to

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look at this person like, well, what can they do for me or what

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I'm like, it's so much I willing to display or what can

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I bring to the table? Or how can this person feel for me? No,

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you just got to connect and become more intimate that that

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is a better key.

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Carl, what like, like, how about just getting to know people?

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And like, I'm having an agenda.

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That's what I was thinking, too.

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Yeah. And how about coming at it? You know, women love safety.

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Yeah. And they, they love to know what things are coming at

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them. So being thinking about what you say, and like, you

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know, I mean, this goes for everybody, like, a lot of times,

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you know, like, women's primary need is safety. Right? You know,

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the that's why you hear the gold digger, you know, the whole, the

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whole gold digger is just a really a woman getting securing

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safety in money, or safety, you know, I mean, like, you know,

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but like, it's not. It's just a core need. It's, it's, and

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they're just they're using that at it that that way. So like,

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Connor, I would just encourage you to really work on being a

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safe place for people. And, and seeing what and just chilling.

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I mean, and, and you're a great guy, Hunter, and like,

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that you did some just micro stuff I can work on.

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Micro stuff is just just relax. Enjoy. Get to know people.

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Rather than no agenda, don't think of them as just like,

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hey, cool, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have a great conversation with

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this lady. Right? And I'm gonna help I want to I want her to

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feel safe and secure. I mean, because you know, like, you

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know, like, you know, that Jack and David talk about the divine

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masculine, right? Like, okay, so, you know, the divine

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masculine is, hey, somebody's coming to hurt somebody I love

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or my family, I'm going to put them down. Right? Or I'm going

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to defend my family. And then the other side of it is, like,

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but I'm also going to be available, emotionally

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available, and loving and kind to my family. Right? And, and so

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like, the divine masculine is this, we use our strength to

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protect, to cherish, to build like this, this greenhouse, where

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a flower can grow or other people can grow. Right? And

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like, you know, it's kind of one of the things that I talked

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about this a lot. And you're gonna probably hear me talk

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because it's so important. But I am so sick of hearing people

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saying toxic masculine entity. Right? You know, I mean, those

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are boys who haven't become men. Because real men protect real

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men care, you know, not perfectly, like, but at least we

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try. So anybody got some wins they want to share? All right,

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Andy, let's go.

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The second date with Christine that Canadian. That Canadian

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woman who's a music teacher. The second date went well. And we're

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planning on going to in person date next.

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Sweet.

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Being halfway.

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Touchdown, baby. That's awesome. Congratulations.

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Sweet.

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Yep. So we'll see how that goes.

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Proud of you, bro. And that's a long way.

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I just have to be. Well, Canada is right next door to me. So

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it's actually not that far. Oh, yeah. Um, I'm like, you know,

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near Detroit. Yeah. So um, but it is going to be like a three

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hour drive because um, that's where you have to meet halfway.

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Yeah. But but yeah, you're in the game. I mean,

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like, I think everybody here. We're rooting for you. I'm not

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in the game.

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I just have to be careful. Um, I just have to be careful. I'm

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not to let slip that I don't believe viruses exist.

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So, okay. Okay.

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Well, like, I just had a conversation with Hunter, right?

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You got like, you got to be you. If they can't handle you being

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you then I mean, obviously, don't start out guns blazing.

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And like, who did you I mean, like, who did you vote for? Like,

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I have I've had like, chicks do that. And it's like, immediately

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it's over. Like, you know, I mean, I talked about Bethel and

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Redding. And all of a sudden, I get, you know, boop, they're

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gone. And I'm like, you know, you know, there's things that I

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mean, you don't even give it a chance to see if there's

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something that you would even want. Because there's a lot of

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things you may think that are life and death. But like I said,

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but just be you. Be a safe place, be a strong tower, a

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safe place. You know, you know, you don't have to flex you just

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be you. I mean, so okay, so if you show up as Rico Suave,

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right, and you're like, Hey, I'm like, I'm a stud, right? And

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you're just not who you are. Then now you're now you're

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starting a relationship with a phantom of you. And you're

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gonna have to maintain that the whole relationship. Right?

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Yeah, I've never I've never been like that.

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No, but but what I'm saying, so but but but what you're saying

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is, is, I'm not gonna mention this. No, I agree. First times

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are supposed to be chill, lighthearted, really talk about

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little things, right? And build something and be fun. Have fun.

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I have I'll be just fully full, full disclosure here. I have a

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tendency to get stressed. I usually have a lot of fun. But

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when I go on dates, you get like the most stressed mic ever. Like

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I'm not fun. I don't even want to be around me. And I'm like,

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so I've been working on, like, breathing and just just coming

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in. And like, so I say a pot kettle, right? I come in hot

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sometimes. And like, like, Okay, I gotta think this, I gotta do

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this, I gotta do that. And, and then I miss the whole time. And,

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and then it turns into some sort of they don't want an interview.

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Right? One of the girls like, so you know, that was, you know,

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this was a really nice interview, but I would have

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preferred a date. It's like, Oh, you know, so you know, just

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just, you know, like, like I say, I keep it, I try to keep

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it real. But Andy, just be you. And don't live in fear. See,

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because if you're worried about I'm gonna say something wrong,

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or I'm gonna do this, then you're not gonna, you're gonna

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be tight. I mean, just go. That's true. Just go be the Andy

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be Andy. Yeah. And if she likes Andy, and you like her, great.

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Go forward. But don't don't live in fear. Just be you. And I

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mean, no, no, no, I know. But it's just at the same time. It's

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like, um, people think I'm crazy when I say that viruses don't

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exist. So and and you know, and so okay, so answer me this

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question. So when does that like that comes up on the fifth date?

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Like, you might as well get it out. I'm like, if it gets out

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of the way early. And it works like the whole a true

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relationship is when you can be all of you. Good, bad and crazy.

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Right? And they can be all good, bad and crazy. And you see it.

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And you're like, I can deal with that good, bad and crazy. And I

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you know, and then you have a problem partnership, you have a

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crazy partnership. And you and you and you're fully known, and

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you're fully loved. And you don't have to, like, I don't

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want to show you this part of my life. So I got a full I got full

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on preaching, guys. I'm sorry. But I've just seen in my life

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where I screw it up. Because I get too analytical. And I'm not

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me. And then after the date, and after the data is like, man, she

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didn't even get to meet me. Because I just was so, so caught

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up in my head.

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Yeah, I guess I was just I was listening to my dad because my

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dad thinks it would be not a good idea to bring that up. His

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point of view is he thinks that he thinks it's like flat

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earther type of deal. And, and it would just really be a huge

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turnoff. So that's what

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I mean, it's probably you could probably bring it in the second

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or but you're eventually it's gonna, it's eventually it's

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gonna come out eventually, right? Like, and like, yeah. So

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you're not really disclosing and any like I see in the end, once

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again, first date, you're supposed to be for building

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connection to see if you even like the person trying to be

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yourself. Right? And then you get some dates in. But I just

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don't want you to live. I don't want if you're so here, if

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you're worried about sharing this, and that's going to be a

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turnoff. Well, odds are, you're probably going to do it because

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you're thinking about it. Right? Because, you know, but you're

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also tight and not you. Because you're, you're living in fear,

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right? And so I just, I just want you to just be

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free to be you. Does that make sense? And like, and whatever

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and however that gets, I mean, I'm an extrovert, and I have a

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different way, you know, I process externally, right. But

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whatever gets you to where you need to go, do that. Does that

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make sense? But I'm proud of you, bro. Like, this is huge

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growth. Right. And, you know, thank you, Jesus. All right. Any

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other wins? Mm hmm. I forgot to mention one, but unless someone

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else wants to go,

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Hunter, go. I got one. I had. Go ahead, man.

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Las Vegas, David. Las Vegas, home of the Raiders. And yeah,

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anyway, no one says it out loud. Only David here tonight.

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There's a DJ. Yeah. Yeah. So um, so what's going on, Hunter?

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What's your what's your breakthrough?

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Well, you know, I've been struggling with loss and self

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gratification. I managed to go eight days in a row without any

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of it. Sweet record. I went it's haven't done this in like two

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years. Last time I did was when I went abroad to Israel. Yeah.

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And when I went to Israel, and then, and then also struggling

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with it. And it's not a matter of just saying no, no, no to it.

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The question is, you got to have your heart to it, too.

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You have to have a purpose. And you have to have a vision and

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you have to have. And so and here's the other and I'm proud

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of you. Keep getting keep those streaks up. Because you hit 20

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you hit 26 days, you hit 56 days, and then it's no longer

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something that's owning you.

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Not to mention, I'm down to once a week. But the more I go

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without it, the more I have increasing boost in my ability

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to build intimacy with someone.

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Well, and you're not see and here's and the other thing is,

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is when you're involved in all that you're looking at women as

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some objects of affection. Yeah, or objects of other things. But

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you know, but like, it kills intimacy. And it's gonna get

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into a marriage, it's gonna kill your marriage.

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I know I've been knowing that for 15 years.

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So so but but 100 when I'm trying like you're doing great

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eight days. Now get to get to down to every two weeks, then

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every three weeks, then every four weeks, and then walk in

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freedom. You know, Jesus came to set the captives free and he

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who the sun sets free is free indeed. So you can be free.

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Right, you know, and so go good job. All right, David, what's

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going on? What's your what's your breakthrough?

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Oh, I went on a date. Sweet. I did two dates. One was a video

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date. A different lady was an in person date. And it worked

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out really great. It's someone that I'm not typically sorry,

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just wincing from the pain of my foot.

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Ice ice, baby.

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Soon here, I'm gonna go set out in a 42 degrees swimming pool

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while on the call. That's about as close as I can get right now

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with us. Yeah, but no. I don't know. The date was kind of

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creepy in the sense of you ever have someone like almost like

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research you? Like, I'm not saying she did this. But like,

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it was just like so many things lined up with things that you

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can't even find out about me on the internet. Like my ridiculous

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love of inflatable T-Rex costumes, for instance. I mean,

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yeah, like it's there on the internet. But unless you're like

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really like looking at mishear the name, inflatable T-Rex

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costumes that yeah, the one in Canada. Oh, I don't know what

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you're talking about, Josh. But like, she's like, just said

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something matter of factly of, oh, I have a stocker. Oh,

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stalker. I see what you did there, Abram. Like she was

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talking about how her unborn son in the sonogram looked like a

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little T-Rex. And I looked at her like, who says that? Like,

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I've never heard any woman ever described their unborn child as

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a T-Rex.

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I have to say neither have I.

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She's like, Oh, you know, we had the tail and the little tiny

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dangly. I'm like, No, I know what a T-Rex is.

224
00:14:30.280 --> 00:14:35.920
Uh, just we had a lot of similar tastes in music and had a

225
00:14:36.280 --> 00:14:38.760
appreciation for nostalgic video games. But

226
00:14:39.560 --> 00:14:42.280
I like both of the which ones?

227
00:14:43.400 --> 00:14:47.720
Super Mario Brothers Legend of Zelda. Oh, yeah. Super Nintendo.

228
00:14:47.720 --> 00:14:53.720
She specifically named dropped The Lion King. Whereas I was

229
00:14:53.720 --> 00:14:59.920
more like Street Fighter and other games, but we both

230
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:02.260
Love the original Final Fantasy VII.

231
00:15:02.260 --> 00:15:05.120
She also, like, it just matter of factly came up

232
00:15:05.120 --> 00:15:06.640
of parenting style of, no,

233
00:15:06.640 --> 00:15:08.560
kids don't need a bunch of video games.

234
00:15:08.560 --> 00:15:12.400
We had video games because we were blessed and lucky

235
00:15:12.400 --> 00:15:13.660
before we realized, you know,

236
00:15:13.660 --> 00:15:16.520
the effect that they have on the human brain.

237
00:15:16.520 --> 00:15:20.400
So just like, she's like about seven

238
00:15:20.400 --> 00:15:21.960
or eight years younger than me.

239
00:15:24.240 --> 00:15:25.080
Like a bit chubby.

240
00:15:25.080 --> 00:15:26.640
She like listed herself as curvy,

241
00:15:26.640 --> 00:15:29.420
and I was like, ah, you're a bit more chubby, but whatever.

242
00:15:29.420 --> 00:15:30.260
I didn't-

243
00:15:30.260 --> 00:15:31.080
Did you say that?

244
00:15:31.080 --> 00:15:31.920
Did you really?

245
00:15:31.920 --> 00:15:32.760
I didn't say this on the date

246
00:15:32.760 --> 00:15:36.020
because you never talk about a woman's, you know,

247
00:15:36.020 --> 00:15:36.860
appearance.

248
00:15:36.860 --> 00:15:38.740
I was like, I figured you had more time for that.

249
00:15:38.740 --> 00:15:40.860
Unless she wants to talk about it type of thing.

250
00:15:40.860 --> 00:15:42.460
Like, hey, I need help with weight loss

251
00:15:42.460 --> 00:15:46.320
and you're ridiculously good looking, you know?

252
00:15:46.320 --> 00:15:48.660
Because like, just stuff came up where she's like,

253
00:15:48.660 --> 00:15:51.860
well, how do you, how can you even get to doing like

254
00:15:51.860 --> 00:15:54.860
eating in a three hour window every day?

255
00:15:54.860 --> 00:15:57.980
I'm like, I used to be a lot heavier, like 250 pounds.

256
00:15:58.540 --> 00:16:00.620
So it just spiraled into that conversation,

257
00:16:00.620 --> 00:16:04.420
but it didn't sound, it didn't come from a shameful point.

258
00:16:04.420 --> 00:16:07.660
And she didn't take it in a repulsive way.

259
00:16:07.660 --> 00:16:11.920
She was like, teach me, master.

260
00:16:13.620 --> 00:16:14.460
Which is cool.

261
00:16:14.460 --> 00:16:16.180
I mean, like, cause with like David,

262
00:16:16.180 --> 00:16:19.340
like what I know of you, you need somebody who's active.

263
00:16:19.340 --> 00:16:21.340
So if somebody isn't able to be active,

264
00:16:21.340 --> 00:16:22.900
I don't see them as a good match for you

265
00:16:22.900 --> 00:16:25.420
because you're constantly moving, right?

266
00:16:25.460 --> 00:16:29.460
Yeah, well, mostly other than like right now, but.

267
00:16:29.460 --> 00:16:31.300
Yeah, well, you got a book.

268
00:16:31.300 --> 00:16:32.420
That'll kind of work for you.

269
00:16:32.420 --> 00:16:34.180
I mean, I'm even tempted right now.

270
00:16:34.180 --> 00:16:36.220
I'm like, you know, if I just soak my foot for five minutes,

271
00:16:36.220 --> 00:16:38.220
I feel like I could get a hike in today.

272
00:16:39.660 --> 00:16:40.500
If you want to get a hike in tomorrow.

273
00:16:40.500 --> 00:16:42.580
It'd be the slowest hike ever, but.

274
00:16:42.580 --> 00:16:44.100
Yeah.

275
00:16:44.100 --> 00:16:47.580
But no, it was just like,

276
00:16:47.580 --> 00:16:49.480
it was supposed to be like a 30 minute date.

277
00:16:49.480 --> 00:16:51.900
She had never had custard in her entire life.

278
00:16:51.900 --> 00:16:54.740
So I was like, okay, we're remedying that.

279
00:16:54.740 --> 00:16:57.140
So if it's in my favorite custard place here in Vegas,

280
00:16:57.140 --> 00:17:00.940
Nielsen's frozen custard, it's great.

281
00:17:00.940 --> 00:17:01.780
If you're ever out.

282
00:17:01.780 --> 00:17:03.380
I've never had a frozen custard.

283
00:17:03.380 --> 00:17:04.900
So I'm like, oh, interesting.

284
00:17:04.900 --> 00:17:09.900
Oh man, it's like ice cream with eggs essentially.

285
00:17:10.460 --> 00:17:12.980
And it's like, it's served at a constant temperature.

286
00:17:12.980 --> 00:17:15.380
So the temperature never dips.

287
00:17:15.380 --> 00:17:18.300
Like ice cream is like served like much colder.

288
00:17:18.300 --> 00:17:22.339
And then it just really not as great.

289
00:17:23.180 --> 00:17:28.180
Anyhow, we already are talking about a second date

290
00:17:29.100 --> 00:17:34.100
and a third date past that just kind of, I guess, giddy.

291
00:17:36.180 --> 00:17:38.700
So it just feels good to be chatting with someone.

292
00:17:38.700 --> 00:17:42.740
And, you know, like you pointed out for Hunter,

293
00:17:42.740 --> 00:17:44.100
it's not an agenda.

294
00:17:44.100 --> 00:17:45.420
It's just like,

295
00:17:45.420 --> 00:17:47.220
I really enjoy getting to know this person.

296
00:17:47.220 --> 00:17:49.620
You know, this person's already like establishing

297
00:17:49.620 --> 00:17:54.500
like a firm basis for friendship with me.

298
00:17:54.500 --> 00:17:55.340
Yeah.

299
00:17:56.900 --> 00:17:59.900
And like, and she's well aware that I'm moving away

300
00:17:59.900 --> 00:18:00.740
and it's just.

301
00:18:00.740 --> 00:18:02.340
Oh, I was going to ask about that.

302
00:18:02.340 --> 00:18:07.340
Like, it's just, yeah, it will.

303
00:18:07.340 --> 00:18:08.900
It's on my dating profile.

304
00:18:08.900 --> 00:18:11.820
Cause I'm just like, well, might as well be open with that.

305
00:18:11.820 --> 00:18:15.100
And then like only attract, you know, ones that are

306
00:18:16.100 --> 00:18:18.020
like, I don't feel like I'm wasting their time.

307
00:18:18.020 --> 00:18:22.460
Like I'm not trying to trauma dump or anything or,

308
00:18:22.460 --> 00:18:25.220
but it's just like, hey, this is my situation.

309
00:18:25.220 --> 00:18:26.340
So.

310
00:18:26.340 --> 00:18:28.860
Well, and I love that you're straight up, right?

311
00:18:28.860 --> 00:18:31.740
Because like, if you start a relationship, you know,

312
00:18:31.740 --> 00:18:33.100
I love that you're doing a friend.

313
00:18:33.100 --> 00:18:36.740
Okay. So you guys, great marriages start

314
00:18:36.740 --> 00:18:39.220
or built on great friendships, right?

315
00:18:39.220 --> 00:18:42.220
Like if you can't be friends, then like,

316
00:18:42.220 --> 00:18:43.580
I mean, you're supposed to be friends your whole life.

317
00:18:43.580 --> 00:18:45.820
I mean, like, you know, I like, you know,

318
00:18:46.820 --> 00:18:50.660
but like at the same time, you know, being straight up

319
00:18:50.660 --> 00:18:52.900
and legit and basic and building your relationship

320
00:18:52.900 --> 00:18:55.900
on trust is the other building block, right?

321
00:18:55.900 --> 00:18:57.340
So if you're like, wait, oh, you know,

322
00:18:57.340 --> 00:18:58.980
and so I just love that you're doing that, David,

323
00:18:58.980 --> 00:19:00.180
like you're building a friendship

324
00:19:00.180 --> 00:19:01.460
and you're actually being straight.

325
00:19:01.460 --> 00:19:03.500
I I'm, I'm a straight up dude.

326
00:19:03.500 --> 00:19:04.340
You know what I mean?

327
00:19:04.340 --> 00:19:05.180
I know Abrams pretty straight up.

328
00:19:05.180 --> 00:19:10.180
It's like, it doesn't suit you to hide things.

329
00:19:10.220 --> 00:19:12.660
I mean, now don't, now don't dump your.

330
00:19:12.660 --> 00:19:13.940
Yeah. I was going to say there's some things

331
00:19:13.940 --> 00:19:16.940
I'm not going to bring up for like a while until like.

332
00:19:16.940 --> 00:19:19.340
But, but, but like, okay, you're moving, right?

333
00:19:19.340 --> 00:19:20.260
Yeah.

334
00:19:20.260 --> 00:19:22.140
Like if somebody like, oh, you're dating me

335
00:19:22.140 --> 00:19:24.620
and you knew you were moving, right?

336
00:19:24.620 --> 00:19:27.460
That can bring, that can bring up all kinds of crap.

337
00:19:27.460 --> 00:19:28.300
Right. Whereas.

338
00:19:28.300 --> 00:19:29.140
Absolutely.

339
00:19:29.140 --> 00:19:30.900
Right. And so, no, I mean,

340
00:19:30.900 --> 00:19:33.260
you don't want to trauma bond with people, right?

341
00:19:33.260 --> 00:19:38.060
Like, so you started out simple, you know, and so cool,

342
00:19:39.580 --> 00:19:42.380
but anybody else got anything they want to share?

343
00:19:43.980 --> 00:19:45.580
Clayton, how are you doing?

344
00:19:45.580 --> 00:19:46.620
It's good to see you.

345
00:19:47.620 --> 00:19:48.940
I'm doing all right.

346
00:19:49.940 --> 00:19:52.940
Yeah. I've actually wanted to discuss

347
00:19:52.940 --> 00:19:55.100
because with my situation,

348
00:19:55.100 --> 00:19:56.980
it's kind of when it rains, it pours.

349
00:19:56.980 --> 00:20:00.020
So story is that I've been talking to.

350
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:06.880
Um, somebody, you know, nothing serious talking to somebody from November.

351
00:20:08.060 --> 00:20:12.320
And, uh, so sh I mean, we hit it off just fine.

352
00:20:12.320 --> 00:20:14.700
I mean, she's really nice, really, really sweet.

353
00:20:15.280 --> 00:20:20.420
And this weekend she asked me, so, you know, what are we, you know, what are we

354
00:20:20.420 --> 00:20:20.800
doing?

355
00:20:20.800 --> 00:20:26.040
And immediately I've been thinking about that and I've been thinking, like, I've

356
00:20:26.040 --> 00:20:30.920
been very mindful of that because I really don't want to be wasting her time

357
00:20:30.920 --> 00:20:31.860
if I'm not feeling it.

358
00:20:31.860 --> 00:20:37.260
But at the same time, I can't help, but like, okay, I really liked this lady.

359
00:20:37.800 --> 00:20:40.080
She's very nice, very considerate.

360
00:20:40.680 --> 00:20:47.640
Um, she's really different, but you know, I don't have that initial, I never had,

361
00:20:47.640 --> 00:20:51.000
I didn't have that initial reaction of like, Hey, she's attractive.

362
00:20:51.840 --> 00:20:54.560
And I don't know if I'm still finding that because, you know, I'm not saying

363
00:20:54.560 --> 00:21:01.280
that she, well, I'm not, she's not bad looking, but I mean, she's, I think, and

364
00:21:01.280 --> 00:21:04.400
this may be a little bit harsh, but to me, she looks like a little plain Jane.

365
00:21:06.240 --> 00:21:09.120
No, I mean, like we're here to be straight up, right?

366
00:21:09.120 --> 00:21:12.320
Like, so, uh, but do you find her attractive in other ways?

367
00:21:12.320 --> 00:21:16.600
Like intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, because okay.

368
00:21:16.600 --> 00:21:17.760
Physical attraction, right.

369
00:21:17.760 --> 00:21:22.440
Is important, but it's also not, it's one of four, right.

370
00:21:22.440 --> 00:21:24.280
And that's the one that fades over time.

371
00:21:24.640 --> 00:21:26.960
And I'm not, and I'm not, I'm not trying to force you into it.

372
00:21:26.960 --> 00:21:30.840
I just, I just, I need to, I want to ask the question, like, because it sounds like you

373
00:21:30.840 --> 00:21:31.800
dig her, right.

374
00:21:31.800 --> 00:21:35.680
You know, like the, the looks are, looks are something that is an issue and, and that's

375
00:21:35.680 --> 00:21:37.480
a valid issue, right.

376
00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:43.840
Um, but like, and you say she's attractive, but she's just plain, right.

377
00:21:43.880 --> 00:21:50.920
Um, I mean, so what, what, so other than that, what are, um, like, what do you, what

378
00:21:50.920 --> 00:21:51.640
do you like about her?

379
00:21:52.640 --> 00:21:55.920
Well, you know, she has the same upbringing as I do.

380
00:21:56.160 --> 00:22:00.080
Um, because I think that she grew up around cattle and horses.

381
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:01.720
So, so much as I did.

382
00:22:02.480 --> 00:22:05.640
Um, so she's a, she's a teacher right now.

383
00:22:06.400 --> 00:22:08.160
So, and she lives close by.

384
00:22:08.200 --> 00:22:14.880
She lives like, um, she lives in the same area as I do and very nice.

385
00:22:15.200 --> 00:22:16.880
I can tell that she's very pleasant.

386
00:22:16.880 --> 00:22:23.360
Um, and we do have conversations, but it's, I don't know, it's not intellectually,

387
00:22:23.840 --> 00:22:26.920
um, striking, if that makes sense.

388
00:22:27.600 --> 00:22:31.680
Emotionally speaking, I think she's really healthy and that's what really draws me to

389
00:22:31.680 --> 00:22:32.040
her.

390
00:22:32.920 --> 00:22:33.440
Okay.

391
00:22:34.640 --> 00:22:37.760
Um, yes, definitely got a good head on her shoulders.

392
00:22:39.360 --> 00:22:44.760
But like, so, um, you know, and it sounds like you guys have met in person, right?

393
00:22:45.160 --> 00:22:45.640
Oh yeah.

394
00:22:45.640 --> 00:22:48.760
So like, so yes, okay.

395
00:22:48.760 --> 00:22:50.800
So plain Jane, you know, she's kind of drab.

396
00:22:50.800 --> 00:22:52.120
She probably doesn't do a lot of makeup.

397
00:22:52.120 --> 00:22:55.800
It sounds like, or whatever she's doesn't really, but like, what is the chemistry

398
00:22:55.800 --> 00:22:56.400
between you guys?

399
00:22:56.800 --> 00:22:58.960
Is there chemistry between you guys when you're together?

400
00:23:02.240 --> 00:23:03.440
Yeah, let's say so.

401
00:23:04.120 --> 00:23:04.840
See, okay.

402
00:23:04.840 --> 00:23:13.280
So that there, like, you know, um, that, so the whole plain Jane thing, you know, um,

403
00:23:13.280 --> 00:23:15.720
it's like, she has to be without makeup.

404
00:23:15.760 --> 00:23:16.760
Is she attractive to you?

405
00:23:18.320 --> 00:23:19.960
I mean, like, she doesn't have to be like doctor.

406
00:23:20.360 --> 00:23:24.080
The reason why I'm asking is like, you know, women are all, aren't all, if you're

407
00:23:24.080 --> 00:23:27.200
only attracted to somebody when they're all dolled up, right?

408
00:23:27.200 --> 00:23:30.880
Like that's not, that's not the constant state of life for women.

409
00:23:30.880 --> 00:23:31.160
Right.

410
00:23:31.760 --> 00:23:36.640
And so, but like, if she's attractive enough and you guys have chemistry, I mean,

411
00:23:36.640 --> 00:23:39.040
when she gets dolled up, then it can be a whole nother level.

412
00:23:39.080 --> 00:23:39.360
Right.

413
00:23:39.360 --> 00:23:41.040
And like, and women relate to that.

414
00:23:41.040 --> 00:23:43.440
Jackie's really big on that, helping women like do that.

415
00:23:43.840 --> 00:23:47.200
You know, it sounds like she, if she's out there on a, on a ranch, she probably

416
00:23:47.200 --> 00:23:51.120
isn't, wasn't something that she really has put a lot of thought into.

417
00:23:51.720 --> 00:23:52.120
Right.

418
00:23:52.440 --> 00:23:52.920
Right.

419
00:23:53.320 --> 00:23:53.920
So I don't know.

420
00:23:53.920 --> 00:23:59.120
I, I just, so I hear like emotionally connect maybe, I mean, cause you are a

421
00:23:59.120 --> 00:24:00.200
really bright guy, Clayton.

422
00:24:00.240 --> 00:24:07.880
And so like, so intellectually, um, you know, I mean, I, I just, um, I would, I

423
00:24:08.240 --> 00:24:09.320
would just list out.

424
00:24:09.440 --> 00:24:12.760
So what, what don't, so other than the plain Jane, is there anything that you're

425
00:24:12.760 --> 00:24:17.400
like, no, I mean, are you guys, could you guys, could you see being good friends

426
00:24:17.400 --> 00:24:17.680
with her?

427
00:24:19.120 --> 00:24:19.560
Oh yeah.

428
00:24:19.560 --> 00:24:20.320
Most definitely.

429
00:24:20.920 --> 00:24:21.120
Okay.

430
00:24:21.120 --> 00:24:24.000
So like you have chemistry, you could be good friends.

431
00:24:24.000 --> 00:24:25.080
Like you see that, right.

432
00:24:25.320 --> 00:24:27.080
She's a good, she's a good woman.

433
00:24:27.320 --> 00:24:27.720
Right.

434
00:24:28.200 --> 00:24:33.160
Um, sounds like just the, just the lack of, um,

435
00:24:33.200 --> 00:24:34.240
pop, I guess.

436
00:24:34.400 --> 00:24:34.720
Yeah.

437
00:24:35.040 --> 00:24:36.960
Cause that, those are really good things to build on.

438
00:24:37.560 --> 00:24:37.760
Yeah.

439
00:24:38.080 --> 00:24:41.200
You know, I don't, the beauty will fade.

440
00:24:41.200 --> 00:24:41.520
Yeah.

441
00:24:42.800 --> 00:24:50.080
And, and so I married my, my ex was smoking and then she just went, I mean,

442
00:24:50.080 --> 00:24:51.640
cancer kind of does some stuff to you.

443
00:24:52.120 --> 00:24:52.480
Right.

444
00:24:52.480 --> 00:24:58.600
And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

445
00:24:58.600 --> 00:25:03.040
and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,

446
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:05.000
and chemo, but like, we built our relationship,

447
00:25:06.760 --> 00:25:08.360
I mean, it lasted 20 years,

448
00:25:10.520 --> 00:25:13.360
but like the beauty part,

449
00:25:15.680 --> 00:25:19.760
it is important to have attraction, right?

450
00:25:19.760 --> 00:25:23.280
Like, you know, there are days where she looks like hell,

451
00:25:23.280 --> 00:25:24.760
most days, right?

452
00:25:24.760 --> 00:25:27.000
But like, you know, and then you have date nights

453
00:25:27.000 --> 00:25:28.760
where she'd get dolled up, right?

454
00:25:28.760 --> 00:25:33.040
So, but we didn't have the depth of friendship,

455
00:25:33.040 --> 00:25:37.000
like we, our friendship didn't grow very,

456
00:25:37.000 --> 00:25:40.480
I mean, it started out and it kind of plateaued, right?

457
00:25:40.480 --> 00:25:42.080
And it never got really deep.

458
00:25:42.080 --> 00:25:43.320
And if this is somebody you can see

459
00:25:43.320 --> 00:25:44.320
having a great friendship,

460
00:25:44.320 --> 00:25:47.120
that's the basis of a great marriage, right?

461
00:25:47.120 --> 00:25:48.920
If you have chemistry,

462
00:25:48.920 --> 00:25:51.760
chemistry is more important than attraction.

463
00:25:51.760 --> 00:25:52.600
Right.

464
00:25:52.600 --> 00:25:55.080
Right, like, and so I just, you know,

465
00:25:55.080 --> 00:25:56.920
I'm not telling you to do one thing or the other,

466
00:25:56.920 --> 00:25:59.920
but it sounds like you've got a good gal there, you know,

467
00:25:59.920 --> 00:26:03.960
but you actually, but you have to reconcile it with you,

468
00:26:05.320 --> 00:26:06.160
right?

469
00:26:06.160 --> 00:26:07.960
And you have to know, and you ask the Lord,

470
00:26:07.960 --> 00:26:09.400
you know, Lord, is this what,

471
00:26:09.400 --> 00:26:11.880
and don't, and I'm not saying that to,

472
00:26:12.960 --> 00:26:15.840
so many people spiritualize things, right?

473
00:26:15.840 --> 00:26:18.800
Well, you know, it's like, no, you just don't like them,

474
00:26:18.800 --> 00:26:21.000
or you're like, this is a, this was a not,

475
00:26:21.000 --> 00:26:23.200
like, do you have a list of non-negotiables?

476
00:26:24.200 --> 00:26:26.960
Yeah, I really do.

477
00:26:26.960 --> 00:26:29.160
And so how does she fit that?

478
00:26:29.160 --> 00:26:31.840
Well, I mean, she, she hasn't,

479
00:26:33.360 --> 00:26:37.120
she hasn't gone against those non-negotiables, honestly.

480
00:26:37.120 --> 00:26:39.680
So that's, so that's a plus, right?

481
00:26:39.680 --> 00:26:41.640
Those are green flags.

482
00:26:41.640 --> 00:26:43.440
I mean, the fact that you have a commonality

483
00:26:43.440 --> 00:26:45.520
of like where you've lived and you kind of have a,

484
00:26:45.520 --> 00:26:47.920
that is huge too, is because you guys kind of,

485
00:26:47.920 --> 00:26:52.920
you kind of have the same,

486
00:26:54.480 --> 00:26:57.320
a similar upbringing, a commonality in that.

487
00:26:57.320 --> 00:26:59.320
So you guys are gonna get, have a lot of,

488
00:26:59.320 --> 00:27:01.280
you're gonna get a lot of the things that,

489
00:27:01.280 --> 00:27:03.400
like Clayton, if you and I are hanging out,

490
00:27:03.400 --> 00:27:05.080
like there's gonna be things that you,

491
00:27:05.080 --> 00:27:06.600
just because of how you grew up,

492
00:27:06.600 --> 00:27:07.800
that you're gonna say something,

493
00:27:07.800 --> 00:27:08.920
and I'm gonna be like,

494
00:27:08.920 --> 00:27:10.640
I have no idea what he just said, right?

495
00:27:10.640 --> 00:27:13.000
Like, you know, or what, like, I don't know,

496
00:27:13.000 --> 00:27:14.320
I may have heard what you say,

497
00:27:14.320 --> 00:27:15.520
but I don't know the context,

498
00:27:15.520 --> 00:27:18.960
and I never lived on a ranch or in Texas, right?

499
00:27:18.960 --> 00:27:21.680
So there's little nuances.

500
00:27:21.680 --> 00:27:22.600
Right.

501
00:27:22.600 --> 00:27:24.240
And so I just, I mean-

502
00:27:24.240 --> 00:27:26.360
Well, and part of the conundrum is,

503
00:27:26.360 --> 00:27:29.080
is that, well, you know,

504
00:27:29.080 --> 00:27:33.120
I kind of want to see like where this may go in.

505
00:27:33.120 --> 00:27:35.720
And she and I were on the same page as far as like,

506
00:27:35.720 --> 00:27:38.640
you know, like we've been talking for a while,

507
00:27:38.640 --> 00:27:40.480
we don't want to waste each other's time.

508
00:27:40.480 --> 00:27:41.440
So I'm like, well,

509
00:27:41.440 --> 00:27:45.240
I want to dive in a little bit deeper into it,

510
00:27:45.960 --> 00:27:48.920
but my worry is, is that, well, we're both in our,

511
00:27:50.040 --> 00:27:52.160
like, I'm 31, she's 30.

512
00:27:52.160 --> 00:27:53.000
Yeah.

513
00:27:53.000 --> 00:27:55.040
And I'm like, I don't want to waste her time,

514
00:27:55.040 --> 00:27:57.520
you know, just be emotionally connected.

515
00:27:57.520 --> 00:28:01.120
So, but I hear you saying you want to see more.

516
00:28:01.120 --> 00:28:01.960
Yeah.

517
00:28:01.960 --> 00:28:04.200
I don't think that's wasting her time.

518
00:28:04.200 --> 00:28:05.040
Okay.

519
00:28:05.040 --> 00:28:08.160
Like, honestly, like, okay, so if,

520
00:28:08.160 --> 00:28:11.400
like, okay, let me ask you, let me ask you a different way.

521
00:28:11.400 --> 00:28:13.840
If you don't go to see more, will you regret it?

522
00:28:16.040 --> 00:28:17.720
Will you look, can you look back?

523
00:28:17.720 --> 00:28:19.360
A little, yeah.

524
00:28:19.360 --> 00:28:22.240
So don't, live a life without regret.

525
00:28:22.240 --> 00:28:24.160
Take the shot, look.

526
00:28:24.160 --> 00:28:28.400
And if it goes well, amazing, right?

527
00:28:28.400 --> 00:28:31.120
If it doesn't, you tried.

528
00:28:31.120 --> 00:28:34.520
And you get, and give it a wholehearted effort, right?

529
00:28:34.520 --> 00:28:39.080
But like, I would hate to see you like, dude,

530
00:28:40.440 --> 00:28:43.080
I wish I would have taken that shot, right?

531
00:28:43.080 --> 00:28:46.920
And, you know, and hopefully you had a home run, you know?

532
00:28:46.920 --> 00:28:50.200
And like, but yeah, you have something,

533
00:28:50.200 --> 00:28:52.400
you have something and I would, I would just,

534
00:28:52.400 --> 00:28:56.920
I would just wholeheartedly pursue it and jump in.

535
00:28:56.920 --> 00:28:59.800
And express to her, it's like, hey, I want to,

536
00:28:59.800 --> 00:29:01.680
I want to see where this can go.

537
00:29:01.680 --> 00:29:03.280
Yeah.

538
00:29:03.280 --> 00:29:06.280
Well, you know, another part of the conundrum is,

539
00:29:06.280 --> 00:29:08.720
is that it's not just her,

540
00:29:08.720 --> 00:29:11.120
but I'm also talking to another woman.

541
00:29:11.240 --> 00:29:12.320
Mm-hmm.

542
00:29:12.320 --> 00:29:14.200
Now, nothing serious, of course, though,

543
00:29:14.200 --> 00:29:18.760
but you know, she's more physically,

544
00:29:18.760 --> 00:29:20.440
I'm more physically attracted to her.

545
00:29:20.440 --> 00:29:23.960
She and I, we engage in more intellectual talks

546
00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:29.120
a lot more than this, than the single woman, with no,

547
00:29:29.120 --> 00:29:32.480
but the problem is that the caveat is that, you know,

548
00:29:32.480 --> 00:29:35.360
she's a single mother

549
00:29:35.360 --> 00:29:37.440
and I don't want to downplay single mothers though,

550
00:29:37.440 --> 00:29:39.080
but I've stressed about this.

551
00:29:39.080 --> 00:29:41.960
Like, I don't know how I feel about it, honestly.

552
00:29:42.920 --> 00:29:45.040
Which is a valid point, right?

553
00:29:45.040 --> 00:29:48.920
Like, I mean, being an instant dad is,

554
00:29:50.920 --> 00:29:53.960
it's an honor, but it's also a huge,

555
00:29:53.960 --> 00:29:56.200
it can be a huge responsibility.

556
00:29:56.200 --> 00:29:57.040
Right.

557
00:29:57.040 --> 00:29:59.600
You know, and like, if you, and, and, you know.

558
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.400
So it sounds like, you know,

559
00:30:03.600 --> 00:30:06.320
now, so the first the first guy you're talking about,

560
00:30:06.520 --> 00:30:10.480
have you tried to have an intellectual conversation with her?

561
00:30:10.680 --> 00:30:13.200
No, yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess.

562
00:30:13.400 --> 00:30:19.280
Well, as far as intellectual is concerned, like it's just mainly about.

563
00:30:19.480 --> 00:30:21.600
We talk about a couple of things,

564
00:30:21.800 --> 00:30:28.320
either with horses or airplanes or families and whatnot, but not in the.

565
00:30:28.520 --> 00:30:29.760
Deeper sense, though,

566
00:30:29.960 --> 00:30:34.040
which I probably want to try that because she's honestly a teacher.

567
00:30:34.240 --> 00:30:36.640
Yeah, but but with this other lady,

568
00:30:36.840 --> 00:30:40.720
the single mother, she's a little bit more natural at it.

569
00:30:40.920 --> 00:30:43.160
Well, and if she's been in a relationship

570
00:30:43.360 --> 00:30:45.680
before, she might have developed it as well.

571
00:30:45.880 --> 00:30:47.120
Right. You know,

572
00:30:47.320 --> 00:30:51.640
what sounds like you have one who's, you know, I would.

573
00:30:52.680 --> 00:30:57.040
You know, like it sounds like it, but you do you do value that,

574
00:30:57.640 --> 00:31:01.960
you know, regardless, I see that you value that intellectual conversation.

575
00:31:02.160 --> 00:31:04.720
Right. You know, and so so I would try.

576
00:31:04.720 --> 00:31:07.280
I mean, you can you can choose to do whatever you like.

577
00:31:07.280 --> 00:31:10.560
Right. I just but it seems like the first one she she wants.

578
00:31:10.760 --> 00:31:14.400
And it's and it's honest for her to want to know what you guys are doing.

579
00:31:14.600 --> 00:31:16.560
I mean, that's that's legitimate. Right.

580
00:31:16.760 --> 00:31:19.440
And it sounds like you want to see where it'll go.

581
00:31:19.640 --> 00:31:20.960
Right.

582
00:31:21.160 --> 00:31:24.680
But but if you're going to go there, then the other one has to go.

583
00:31:24.880 --> 00:31:28.440
But it seems like you're kind of you're kind of.

584
00:31:30.160 --> 00:31:32.320
Now, honestly, I think my mind's made up

585
00:31:32.520 --> 00:31:36.000
because, like, I really I tried telling her this and telling her this,

586
00:31:36.200 --> 00:31:39.160
like, I really don't know how I feel about.

587
00:31:39.360 --> 00:31:41.800
And I mean, I mean, we're already talking

588
00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:46.200
about like, hey, if you need to you need to know, understand about my situation,

589
00:31:46.400 --> 00:31:51.400
like if you're going to try to date me, like I'm going to be mutually exclusive.

590
00:31:51.600 --> 00:31:54.160
I'm like, well, we don't know each other yet.

591
00:31:54.160 --> 00:31:56.160
So I don't like that idea.

592
00:31:56.360 --> 00:31:59.520
So which which one is this the first or second second?

593
00:31:59.720 --> 00:32:02.920
Yeah. And she's got a kid which you're really not really.

594
00:32:03.120 --> 00:32:05.720
So like the second one just sounds like.

595
00:32:05.920 --> 00:32:09.640
It's not a position that you really want to be in, even though you do appreciate

596
00:32:09.840 --> 00:32:13.840
the intellectual conversation and the and the attraction.

597
00:32:14.040 --> 00:32:16.800
But but the other one, you know, I mean,

598
00:32:17.000 --> 00:32:20.720
and that's a whole nother thing is like if you guys can get into a level

599
00:32:20.760 --> 00:32:25.600
of intellectual conversation, it'll also increase the attraction.

600
00:32:25.800 --> 00:32:30.320
Like, you know, that's something that can build if it's if it's if she's capable.

601
00:32:30.520 --> 00:32:31.920
But it sounds like she's a teacher.

602
00:32:32.120 --> 00:32:33.120
So she's got to be smart.

603
00:32:33.320 --> 00:32:38.600
I mean, you know, and like so I just yeah, I think.

604
00:32:38.800 --> 00:32:40.360
You know what?

605
00:32:40.560 --> 00:32:43.440
To do, and I would just encourage you to take the jump.

606
00:32:43.640 --> 00:32:48.640
Sounds like I haven't heard anything that would would.

607
00:32:48.840 --> 00:32:51.640
I just think so sometimes you guys like

608
00:32:51.840 --> 00:32:56.120
the and this is something I'm learning and I'm not I'm preaching from learning.

609
00:32:56.320 --> 00:32:58.800
So I'm not pretending to be a Ph.D. on this.

610
00:32:59.000 --> 00:33:00.760
OK, I just be both.

611
00:33:00.960 --> 00:33:02.960
But my whole thing is

612
00:33:03.160 --> 00:33:06.280
for so long and this is what got me with my ex.

613
00:33:06.480 --> 00:33:08.520
We had that huge flash.

614
00:33:08.720 --> 00:33:11.960
We had that huge I mean, the attraction was stupid.

615
00:33:11.960 --> 00:33:12.640
Right.

616
00:33:12.840 --> 00:33:14.560
And then our relationship was terrible

617
00:33:14.760 --> 00:33:17.960
because we built it on attraction and sex and all that stuff.

618
00:33:18.120 --> 00:33:21.160
And our friendship, actually.

619
00:33:21.360 --> 00:33:26.000
And like I found that I think you guys are looking for the slower burn.

620
00:33:26.200 --> 00:33:29.560
Like, yeah, it may not be get those endorphins jacked up.

621
00:33:29.760 --> 00:33:33.880
But if you are attracted to the person, you can that'll grow.

622
00:33:34.080 --> 00:33:36.840
And, Kenton, you know,

623
00:33:37.440 --> 00:33:40.880
I really am interested in what you want, what you're getting.

624
00:33:41.080 --> 00:33:41.880
You're a wise guy.

625
00:33:42.080 --> 00:33:43.680
You're a wise guy.

626
00:33:44.760 --> 00:33:47.480
No, no. But like, can you chime in?

627
00:33:47.480 --> 00:33:48.920
What do you think? What is your opinion?

628
00:33:48.920 --> 00:33:50.400
I don't want to be the only person talking.

629
00:33:50.600 --> 00:33:52.440
And but Clayton, I'm proud of you, bro.

630
00:33:52.640 --> 00:33:55.080
I mean, I love how honest you're honest.

631
00:33:55.280 --> 00:33:57.600
You're looking at this and you're looking at it head up.

632
00:33:57.800 --> 00:33:59.360
And that's really, really good.

633
00:33:59.560 --> 00:34:00.360
Mm hmm.

634
00:34:00.560 --> 00:34:01.200
Well, yeah.

635
00:34:01.400 --> 00:34:07.280
Well, also, I don't want to steal more time, but I don't want to steal more time

636
00:34:07.480 --> 00:34:12.000
now, but because there's that, too, and then there's another one

637
00:34:12.199 --> 00:34:15.880
coming to Amarillo and she's flying from Oregon.

638
00:34:15.880 --> 00:34:19.560
She's coming to Amarillo and we've been talking for a while and I but I haven't

639
00:34:19.760 --> 00:34:25.199
seen her in person, so I'm like, I don't want to jump the gun too quick

640
00:34:25.400 --> 00:34:30.440
because this third person like I'm honestly very attracted to.

641
00:34:30.639 --> 00:34:34.760
I think that she's a really good down to earth good soul.

642
00:34:34.960 --> 00:34:38.639
But I don't think she's as much of a believer.

643
00:34:38.840 --> 00:34:43.040
See, that's that is a that's also a key component, right?

644
00:34:43.040 --> 00:34:44.320
You know,

645
00:34:44.520 --> 00:34:49.560
has OK, spiritually, you know, just like intellectually, you talking with somebody

646
00:34:49.760 --> 00:34:53.199
like, you know, being able to talk spiritually with somebody, too, is really

647
00:34:53.400 --> 00:34:55.920
important to be able to express and talk right now.

648
00:34:56.120 --> 00:34:59.280
Can I can I tag you just for.

649
00:34:59.480 --> 00:34:59.960
OK.

650
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.560
It's good to see you guys. Sorry I'm late tonight. I just got off work off the truck,

651
00:35:04.560 --> 00:35:09.920
so it's nice to be with you guys once again. Of course, I got in late, so I don't know

652
00:35:09.920 --> 00:35:13.760
if the subject matter of unearing a little bit was going on, but I did hear that last

653
00:35:13.760 --> 00:35:21.200
portion about her being spiritual or not. That's, guys, for us believers, that's not

654
00:35:21.200 --> 00:35:28.000
even a choice for us, because Christ made it so simple. He did say, do not be unyoked.

655
00:35:28.720 --> 00:35:33.840
It's not His commandment. That could be in a lot of different things, in the way we think,

656
00:35:34.720 --> 00:35:40.880
the denomination we might be in. I'm not saying you have the same denomination, but

657
00:35:40.880 --> 00:35:46.640
if her faith is not as strong as, at least, well, I'm going to take that back, because

658
00:35:46.640 --> 00:35:50.960
some girls are still learning as well, too, and they're very mature and growing quickly.

659
00:35:52.320 --> 00:35:56.960
They've got to be sold after God. They can be an anchor. We saw that with the wisest

660
00:35:56.960 --> 00:36:02.720
man in the world, Solomon. I mean, he was taken down. David was taken down. These were

661
00:36:02.720 --> 00:36:08.640
solid men of God. And so we have to start it off right by making sure we are choosing

662
00:36:08.640 --> 00:36:15.200
a woman who loves our Lord, who has the same morals and standards you do. Can be in the

663
00:36:15.200 --> 00:36:20.400
same denomination? Not necessarily. Doesn't need to be speaking in tongues and baptized

664
00:36:20.400 --> 00:36:26.560
in the Holy Spirit, because you'll be leading your home according to how you live your life

665
00:36:26.560 --> 00:36:32.480
with Christ. And if you have a strong relationship with Him, your relationship is going to be

666
00:36:32.480 --> 00:36:37.520
automatically going to draw the woman into that relationship. Now, if it doesn't draw

667
00:36:37.520 --> 00:36:42.320
that woman in—I've been involved with a few women in the past, and I've had to give

668
00:36:42.320 --> 00:36:47.120
them up pretty quick, because they just, you know, it was nice to go for the ride. Nice

669
00:36:47.120 --> 00:36:51.360
to know that they're with a godly man and somebody who could pray with them and even

670
00:36:51.440 --> 00:36:59.360
prophesy over them. But they themselves were not ready for a relationship of that type.

671
00:36:59.360 --> 00:37:03.840
And so I had to leave that relationship and say, you know what, it's just not going to

672
00:37:03.840 --> 00:37:08.240
work out. And I gave them the answer why it's not going to work out. Always be honest, upfront

673
00:37:08.240 --> 00:37:12.560
with them, and letting them know that we don't have to let them know their faults. Just saying,

674
00:37:12.560 --> 00:37:16.720
no, it's not just going to work out here. I'm just, I'm not feeling that it's going

675
00:37:16.720 --> 00:37:22.080
to be a good opportunity for us to get together. And so I'm just going to leave it at that.

676
00:37:22.080 --> 00:37:27.520
It's easier to make that decision sooner than later, of course. And you should know that

677
00:37:27.520 --> 00:37:33.680
pretty much right up front, gentlemen. I mean… Because it's critical in, like,

678
00:37:33.680 --> 00:37:38.880
the core of how you're raising your kids, right? You know, like, I mean, like, it goes all down

679
00:37:38.880 --> 00:37:45.040
through how you handle money. I mean, like, it's foundational. That's what I was looking for.

680
00:37:45.600 --> 00:37:50.400
You know, our faith is foundational. And the fact that you're… And for me, I want to be able to

681
00:37:50.400 --> 00:37:59.200
share, like, with my best friend. Like, this is what God's teaching me. And like, and like,

682
00:38:00.720 --> 00:38:06.080
and that's a whole nother level of bonding. Right? You know, like, intellectually, you bond

683
00:38:06.080 --> 00:38:11.680
and you attract, right? You know, I learned after my first marriage that I need somebody who I can

684
00:38:11.680 --> 00:38:19.680
have an intellectual conversation with. My ex, we couldn't. And I just found that's something that

685
00:38:19.680 --> 00:38:26.160
I really value. And all you guys, like, you know, like, if you go out on a date, and even if it

686
00:38:26.160 --> 00:38:31.760
doesn't work out, take notes on, like, what did I like about this lady? Right? What was something

687
00:38:31.760 --> 00:38:39.120
that stood out that… And start writing a list of what you actually want, right? And what's

688
00:38:39.120 --> 00:38:46.080
important to you. And you can tear them, right? You can't expect more from them if you yourself

689
00:38:46.080 --> 00:38:51.920
don't have it. Does that make sense? If you do not have a strong relationship with Jesus Christ,

690
00:38:51.920 --> 00:38:56.880
then you want that from her and from both of you. Well, you can't expect that from her. Or vice

691
00:38:56.880 --> 00:39:02.480
versa. Or if she has a strong relationship with Jesus, and you're not all that and a bag of chips,

692
00:39:02.480 --> 00:39:08.320
and she's going to be, like, trying to pull on you on that. You know, like, you want to be equally

693
00:39:08.320 --> 00:39:14.320
yoked in that way. So, Abram, like, I just talk about, like, well, you guys experienced me talking

694
00:39:14.320 --> 00:39:20.640
about a lot of stuff, right? Like, I like, like, even tonight, we're having a great conversation on

695
00:39:20.640 --> 00:39:28.080
relationships, right? And somebody who I can actually talk about anything to at any level,

696
00:39:28.800 --> 00:39:36.720
you know, I have a friend who is a doctor, and she's, we have this, we just, we go, we've gone

697
00:39:36.720 --> 00:39:44.480
the, we go the gamut. We have great combos, right? And so, I theorize a lot of things. So,

698
00:39:44.480 --> 00:39:49.760
I'll be, like, hey, Abram, you know, what is the best pizza, right? Like, you know, but, like,

699
00:39:49.760 --> 00:39:56.320
you know, when you get into the pizza, Abram, how about, like, I mean, crust is key. Like,

700
00:39:56.320 --> 00:39:59.920
but what are the little nuances and little things in making?

701
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.720
you know, pizza and the alchemy of pizza that makes the best

702
00:40:03.720 --> 00:40:06.840
crust. Right? You know, and like, what are the little things

703
00:40:06.840 --> 00:40:10.120
you can do? Because there's there's dominoes, which is

704
00:40:10.120 --> 00:40:13.680
horrific, right? Like, and then there's, then you bite into some

705
00:40:13.680 --> 00:40:16.160
other pizzas. And you're like, Oh, my gosh, this is heaven.

706
00:40:16.480 --> 00:40:20.560
Right? You know, and so and just to be able to have, like, even

707
00:40:20.560 --> 00:40:23.740
if I don't know anything about pizza, Abraham, I knew if I

708
00:40:23.740 --> 00:40:27.680
talked to you for an hour, I would walk away knowing a lot

709
00:40:27.680 --> 00:40:31.080
more. And I'd be like, dude, that's great. Am I ever going to

710
00:40:31.080 --> 00:40:33.640
start a pizza place? No. But when I make pizza next time, I'm

711
00:40:33.640 --> 00:40:38.880
gonna be thinking about it. Right? Yeah. Oh, sorry. Sorry.

712
00:40:39.200 --> 00:40:42.920
If I slayed anybody's sacred dominoes, Cal, I apologize. But

713
00:40:43.200 --> 00:40:46.840
you know, dominoes is garbage. Yeah, I'm like, so you know what

714
00:40:46.840 --> 00:40:48.880
you do with the dominoes pizza, you throw the pizza out and you

715
00:40:48.880 --> 00:40:51.000
eat the box. Okay. You know, like,

716
00:40:53.520 --> 00:40:55.960
have you guys discussed about love languages to

717
00:40:56.360 --> 00:41:02.120
know? You know, I can. No, I'll jump. That's a great idea. I'll

718
00:41:02.120 --> 00:41:04.080
jump into that in a minute. But David, you had something you

719
00:41:04.080 --> 00:41:06.200
wanted to say? I mean, I see your hand raised.

720
00:41:08.240 --> 00:41:14.160
Yeah. Um, one thing that changed the way that I date was that I

721
00:41:14.160 --> 00:41:17.160
would actually pray on the date, whether we're sharing a meal

722
00:41:17.160 --> 00:41:22.480
together or with the girl that I hit things off with and 30

723
00:41:22.480 --> 00:41:26.320
minute date turned into a three hour date of just talking and

724
00:41:26.360 --> 00:41:30.520
well me inhaling custard in 30 seconds and her taking like 45

725
00:41:30.520 --> 00:41:34.280
minutes to get through it. And she's like, how do you inhale

726
00:41:34.280 --> 00:41:41.000
food? I'm like, Oh, I inhale all my food. Yeah. Either way. I

727
00:41:41.000 --> 00:41:43.840
like stuck my foot in my mouth because she was saying something

728
00:41:43.840 --> 00:41:47.640
about like, oh, it's so hard like getting like, my eyeliner

729
00:41:47.640 --> 00:41:52.240
right and blah, blah. And I just like a guy, I just tried

730
00:41:52.240 --> 00:41:59.680
to fix the situation versus empathize with her. And it was

731
00:41:59.680 --> 00:42:04.600
like that talking about like, oh, my credit card got hacked.

732
00:42:04.600 --> 00:42:11.360
And, you know, I can't just go and pick one up from the bank

733
00:42:11.360 --> 00:42:13.800
directly. And they have to mail me another one. And I try to say

734
00:42:13.800 --> 00:42:17.240
something to the effect of, oh, well, you know, you just have

735
00:42:17.240 --> 00:42:23.400
them ship it to your USPS. And she's like, Well, hon, that

736
00:42:23.400 --> 00:42:28.160
would work except I live in Moapa, which they don't even

737
00:42:28.160 --> 00:42:32.560
deliver that far out from Vegas city center and blah, blah. And

738
00:42:33.120 --> 00:42:35.520
not blah, blah, like not important. Blah, blah. Like I

739
00:42:35.520 --> 00:42:40.040
can't remember what you said other than that. Um, what I so I

740
00:42:40.320 --> 00:42:45.640
I just grabbed her hand and just started praying that I don't

741
00:42:45.640 --> 00:42:48.120
remember what I said exactly in the prayer, but it was just that

742
00:42:48.120 --> 00:42:52.680
you know, God seeks her in her time of need and rectifies this

743
00:42:52.680 --> 00:43:00.280
problem that she doesn't want or not for financial risks nor

744
00:43:00.280 --> 00:43:05.240
opportunities that she's like covered by the mighty hedge of

745
00:43:05.240 --> 00:43:08.520
protection. I just went on for like two minutes of just praying

746
00:43:08.520 --> 00:43:13.960
for and she just like looked at me like that was awesome. I'm

747
00:43:13.960 --> 00:43:17.320
like, really? Because I feel like I just stuck my foot in my

748
00:43:17.320 --> 00:43:21.200
mouth even further. Because I feel awkward whenever I pray.

749
00:43:23.120 --> 00:43:27.880
And kind of speak to that, you guys. Yeah. I mean, I pray a

750
00:43:27.880 --> 00:43:31.080
lot. And sometimes I feel like the Flintstones like I'm saying

751
00:43:31.080 --> 00:43:35.000
yabba dabba doo. Like, like, you know, like, like, I don't know

752
00:43:35.000 --> 00:43:38.840
if you ever had that thing like, you know, like, you know, but at

753
00:43:38.840 --> 00:43:42.680
the end, it's just the enemy lying to you. Right? Even if

754
00:43:42.680 --> 00:43:45.720
you pray the most horrible prayer, it's still effective.

755
00:43:45.960 --> 00:43:49.640
Oh, yeah. Right. Like, and so, but like, David, you also still

756
00:43:49.640 --> 00:43:52.520
like, did you hear what David said? He's like, you know, I

757
00:43:52.520 --> 00:43:58.680
tried to fix it. Like women don't want like, like, 99.7% of

758
00:43:58.680 --> 00:44:01.560
the time, they don't want it fixed. They just want to be

759
00:44:01.560 --> 00:44:06.040
heard. And, and cherished. Because it's like, when you

760
00:44:06.040 --> 00:44:08.440
listen to them, you know, we're like, okay, blah, blah, blah,

761
00:44:09.240 --> 00:44:14.920
you know, like, it's like, would you just fix it already? Right?

762
00:44:14.920 --> 00:44:19.240
Like, it's like, like, it's a 30 second fix. And, but for them,

763
00:44:19.240 --> 00:44:23.880
they want to, they want to go on the journey. They and they may

764
00:44:23.880 --> 00:44:27.400
ask, usually they figure it out on their own. But if you walk

765
00:44:27.400 --> 00:44:30.200
the journey with them, and then David, that's a great way of

766
00:44:30.200 --> 00:44:33.560
praying, actually, recovering and praying, because you're

767
00:44:33.560 --> 00:44:39.400
caring about her heart. Right? Listening to them express what

768
00:44:39.400 --> 00:44:44.200
what is bothering them. So we have boxes that we put stuff in,

769
00:44:44.200 --> 00:44:47.480
right? We're like, okay, we're, we can single task, we can put

770
00:44:47.480 --> 00:44:50.600
things in a box. And we're like, yeah, the workbox is here, you

771
00:44:50.600 --> 00:44:54.360
know, this box is here. Women can't do that. They're there,

772
00:44:54.360 --> 00:44:58.360
the hemispheres of their brain are interconnected, right? So a

773
00:44:58.360 --> 00:44:59.960
lot of the ways they fix those

774
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.820
hemispheres, is by just talking through it. And they a lot of

775
00:45:04.820 --> 00:45:08.060
times, people think that women are emotional. And that's true.

776
00:45:08.060 --> 00:45:10.740
But most of their emotion is based on logic, if you can trace

777
00:45:10.740 --> 00:45:16.060
it back to the conclusion, or to the origination. And so because

778
00:45:16.060 --> 00:45:19.300
I used to think all women were like completely feelings and

779
00:45:19.300 --> 00:45:23.300
this and that. But I got my butt handed to me a couple times.

780
00:45:23.580 --> 00:45:26.400
We're like, No, yeah, I'm emotional. But like, it's

781
00:45:26.400 --> 00:45:31.200
because of this, you jerk. Like, Oh, sorry, my bad. Like, you

782
00:45:31.200 --> 00:45:36.400
know, and so but yeah, um, that's great, David, that you

783
00:45:36.400 --> 00:45:42.020
actually recognize that I have, dude, I have to get, you know,

784
00:45:42.020 --> 00:45:46.220
because I'm not dating a lot. I get into the dude syndrome where

785
00:45:46.220 --> 00:45:48.860
we're like, because we all say, Hey, bro, I get you know, my

786
00:45:48.860 --> 00:45:51.620
car, I got this on the dash. And like, you know, you're like, Oh,

787
00:45:51.620 --> 00:45:53.900
yeah, you need this, you know, this a couple of paper clips,

788
00:45:53.900 --> 00:45:56.920
some duct tape, and some super glue, you put it together, and

789
00:45:56.920 --> 00:46:01.040
it works like your boom. But like women, like, when I get

790
00:46:01.040 --> 00:46:05.060
around women, I need I have a lot of times I don't switch

791
00:46:05.060 --> 00:46:09.800
that, that zone, too. I just gonna be here and be for them

792
00:46:09.800 --> 00:46:15.600
and get to know them and care about their heart. So but no,

793
00:46:15.600 --> 00:46:20.720
that's, that's super good. And Ken, Ken touched on just the

794
00:46:20.940 --> 00:46:23.720
like, have you guys who who here has read the five love

795
00:46:23.720 --> 00:46:30.580
languages? Got 123. So we got about, okay, so, you know, that

796
00:46:30.580 --> 00:46:34.860
is such a, and you know, and you guys, I don't know if in your

797
00:46:34.860 --> 00:46:37.060
experience, maybe you guys have a different experience than me.

798
00:46:37.060 --> 00:46:41.900
But like, usually, like, the person that you connect with has

799
00:46:41.900 --> 00:46:44.300
a different love language, and you actually have to stretch to

800
00:46:44.300 --> 00:46:47.900
meet it. Like, I was like, why can't you have the same love

801
00:46:47.920 --> 00:46:51.680
language? It'd be so easy. Right? But in that that's part

802
00:46:51.680 --> 00:46:55.720
of loving somebody. But um, especially if so one of the

803
00:46:55.720 --> 00:47:05.000
things that I didn't know early on is I work. Yeah. We give and

804
00:47:05.000 --> 00:47:07.200
receive love language differently. Yeah. So I didn't

805
00:47:07.200 --> 00:47:10.360
know I was a touch love language. Right? So like, when

806
00:47:10.360 --> 00:47:12.960
my ex would come up and give me a hug, I'd be like, Oh, she

807
00:47:12.960 --> 00:47:16.940
loves me. Right? Like, you know, like, I had no idea. So if you

808
00:47:16.940 --> 00:47:20.840
have touch as a love language, you really, you know, for me, my

809
00:47:20.840 --> 00:47:23.760
choices, I'm, I try to keep the physical out of all

810
00:47:23.760 --> 00:47:27.920
relationships, I can keep my head clear. Right? Because, and

811
00:47:27.920 --> 00:47:30.860
you know, or at least early, at least early on, right, you know,

812
00:47:31.880 --> 00:47:35.160
because that'll cloud your head. And because I've lived it. And

813
00:47:35.160 --> 00:47:39.400
so I, I think, you know, if somebody is like really serving

814
00:47:39.400 --> 00:47:42.200
you, and your acts of service, are they, if they're just a

815
00:47:42.200 --> 00:47:47.340
people pleaser, and you have an acts of service, I mean, that's,

816
00:47:48.540 --> 00:47:51.620
I guess it could work, but it's not the best thing, if they're

817
00:47:51.620 --> 00:47:55.100
doing it out of brokenness. But if it's somebody, if they're a

818
00:47:55.100 --> 00:47:57.660
caring person, you see how it can be a little complicated. If

819
00:47:57.660 --> 00:48:00.940
you don't know your level on love language, it's something not

820
00:48:00.940 --> 00:48:05.020
to be afraid of, but just to know, and, and then learn

821
00:48:05.020 --> 00:48:08.600
whoever your dating's love language, right? Or and when you

822
00:48:08.600 --> 00:48:12.140
have kids, your kids love language. I have two quality

823
00:48:12.140 --> 00:48:16.340
time. So we do I do a lot of gaming with my boys. Right?

824
00:48:16.340 --> 00:48:19.380
Because there are two quality time and one of their quality

825
00:48:19.380 --> 00:48:25.220
times is gaming. Right? And you know, and like, but I tried to

826
00:48:25.220 --> 00:48:30.500
get them to do my stuff, but I ended up joining them. And so

827
00:48:31.860 --> 00:48:36.540
games, why we did Breath of the Wild, we did Tears of the

828
00:48:36.540 --> 00:48:42.920
Kingdom, Xenoblade Chronicles, Mario Party. I mean, my son has

829
00:48:42.920 --> 00:48:50.960
like 55 games. So like, but just but really, it lets me I joined

830
00:48:50.960 --> 00:48:54.400
their world. Right? They have another one. It's Xenoblade X

831
00:48:54.400 --> 00:48:57.120
is coming out next week. And I'm like, do I want to buy it?

832
00:48:57.680 --> 00:49:02.760
Absolutely not. Am I gonna buy it? Yeah. Why? Because I get to

833
00:49:02.760 --> 00:49:06.000
be part of their their world. And it's something that's

834
00:49:06.000 --> 00:49:14.540
important to them. Right? And so and so I so but anyways, just

835
00:49:14.540 --> 00:49:16.540
to get back Clayton, I think you're on a great path. And I

836
00:49:16.540 --> 00:49:20.500
think you know what to do. And I think if you put if you take

837
00:49:20.500 --> 00:49:23.300
your step forward, and you go a little deeper, you'll get the

838
00:49:23.300 --> 00:49:28.920
answers. Get the answers you're looking for. Right? Like, you

839
00:49:28.920 --> 00:49:33.960
know, some of some of it's just giving opportunity. Right? And a

840
00:49:33.960 --> 00:49:37.900
woman who is feeling Oh, here's another thing about commitment,

841
00:49:37.900 --> 00:49:42.740
guys. Right? When you're dating multiple people, and you have a

842
00:49:42.740 --> 00:49:46.460
woman who's engaging with you, and she knows that or she's not

843
00:49:46.500 --> 00:49:52.140
you haven't locked her in. Right? She's not feeling safe,

844
00:49:52.300 --> 00:49:55.440
completely safe. Not that you know, there's security about

845
00:49:55.440 --> 00:49:59.100
saying, Hey, I want to go. I'm gonna I'm ready to commit to

846
00:49:59.100 --> 00:50:00.100
you and see

847
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.280
how this goes. I mean, marriage is the ultimate commitment, but

848
00:50:03.280 --> 00:50:05.440
just saying, Hey, it's, you know, I just want to go

849
00:50:05.440 --> 00:50:09.280
exclusive with you, you will be a then she will feel the value

850
00:50:09.280 --> 00:50:15.080
and the safety to actually open up more. But until like safety

851
00:50:15.080 --> 00:50:20.680
brief opens up, or okay, let me phrase that safety can open up

852
00:50:20.760 --> 00:50:24.200
greater levels in the relationship, because then they

853
00:50:24.200 --> 00:50:28.960
can express more things without fear of you leaving for another

854
00:50:28.960 --> 00:50:32.240
lady that because you're dating five of them, right, you know,

855
00:50:32.680 --> 00:50:39.040
so, um, but, Josh, I, I have been super busy. What's new with

856
00:50:39.040 --> 00:50:40.560
you? You feel like sharing anything?

857
00:50:45.360 --> 00:50:47.520
Yeah, you're on mute. It's mutiny.

858
00:50:49.160 --> 00:50:50.920
Am I the only Josh in here?

859
00:50:51.480 --> 00:50:54.000
I think so. You're the one I was talking to.

860
00:50:55.160 --> 00:50:57.440
Hold on. I'm looking. Is there someone behind you?

861
00:50:57.520 --> 00:51:01.240
Yeah, okay. So so the black box dominoes. Okay, you know, like,

862
00:51:01.280 --> 00:51:05.320
you know, I, I just want I'm never gonna try it, but I'll

863
00:51:05.320 --> 00:51:06.000
take your word for it.

864
00:51:06.040 --> 00:51:12.040
I know. I wouldn't care too much. I just, if you Yeah, I

865
00:51:12.040 --> 00:51:15.520
don't recommend dominoes to anyone unless you try the black

866
00:51:15.520 --> 00:51:19.400
box and toss pizza, but I'm not here to sell you a pizza.

867
00:51:19.560 --> 00:51:20.400
Yeah, yeah.

868
00:51:22.000 --> 00:51:22.640
How are you?

869
00:51:23.840 --> 00:51:30.560
I'm all right. I'm, I guess I'm going for another round of

870
00:51:30.560 --> 00:51:34.360
trying to pull through the hard work because I've been stuck at

871
00:51:34.400 --> 00:51:40.480
chapter nine, part three for months. And I every first round

872
00:51:40.480 --> 00:51:43.440
I got, you know, I was doing it consistently. And then I got to

873
00:51:43.440 --> 00:51:46.320
chapter nine, and I got to the questions at the end, and then

874
00:51:46.320 --> 00:51:49.960
boom, like hitting a brick of walls. And then I'm like, I'm

875
00:51:49.960 --> 00:51:53.080
reading the questions. And I'm trying to figure out why am I

876
00:51:53.080 --> 00:51:56.120
having a hard time with the questions? Like, it's almost

877
00:51:56.120 --> 00:51:59.360
like the words aren't even there to answer them. And it's like,

878
00:51:59.400 --> 00:52:03.920
I'm stuck. There's something weird here. So I time went by,

879
00:52:03.920 --> 00:52:07.080
and I didn't do anything with it. And then eventually, maybe

880
00:52:07.080 --> 00:52:11.360
six, eight months down the road. I'm like, okay, this weekend,

881
00:52:11.360 --> 00:52:16.000
I'm gonna try again, round two. This was like last year. So

882
00:52:17.280 --> 00:52:21.400
I spent an entire weekend going from rereading the hard work

883
00:52:21.800 --> 00:52:25.680
from the beginning, I hit brick wall again. And this time, and

884
00:52:25.680 --> 00:52:30.360
I was like, why? Why is it so hard? I feel like I almost need

885
00:52:30.360 --> 00:52:35.520
someone one to one to hold my hand through these questions. So

886
00:52:35.520 --> 00:52:41.800
then recently, I I'm like, man, I need to something's got to

887
00:52:41.800 --> 00:52:45.400
change in my life. I got something's got to give I need

888
00:52:45.400 --> 00:52:50.440
to do like another round three. And I'm not doing it to like, my

889
00:52:50.440 --> 00:52:54.600
motivation for the hard work is not, you know, I want to get a

890
00:52:54.600 --> 00:52:57.680
date or a woman or anything. It's more like, you know, the

891
00:52:57.680 --> 00:53:01.760
longer I've been in part of last year single and you know, coming

892
00:53:01.760 --> 00:53:08.480
to these men's meetings on a Monday, and I try to participate

893
00:53:08.480 --> 00:53:11.600
in at least in the supernatural Saturday as well. But the longer

894
00:53:11.600 --> 00:53:15.880
I've been coming, you know, the more I and I would hope this

895
00:53:15.880 --> 00:53:20.680
would be true for other people to or maybe some relatable thing,

896
00:53:20.680 --> 00:53:23.800
you know, that the more I realized, you know, I need I

897
00:53:23.800 --> 00:53:29.440
need Jesus. But there's always something to work on. And you'll

898
00:53:29.440 --> 00:53:32.720
never get to a point where it's almost like one of those

899
00:53:32.720 --> 00:53:36.920
questions of where you somehow respond, or the person responds,

900
00:53:36.920 --> 00:53:40.240
like, I don't feel ready to get married, or I don't feel ready

901
00:53:40.240 --> 00:53:44.240
to have kids. Maybe that one's a better example. But then it's

902
00:53:44.240 --> 00:53:47.880
like, yeah, nobody is like that. You know,

903
00:53:48.160 --> 00:53:51.520
yeah, I was gonna say, I don't know anybody I've ever met that

904
00:53:51.520 --> 00:53:54.600
was like, I was ready to have kids. I was like, or I was ready

905
00:53:54.600 --> 00:53:57.440
to get married. It's one of those things where you got to

906
00:53:57.440 --> 00:53:58.760
take that jump, right?

907
00:53:59.000 --> 00:54:03.040
Yeah. So anyway, then this round three, I figured out, you know,

908
00:54:03.040 --> 00:54:06.200
hey, wait, you know, some technology here has progressed

909
00:54:06.200 --> 00:54:10.200
and whatever. I'm usually good at just vocalizing things. So I

910
00:54:10.200 --> 00:54:13.640
I've, I've been trying this out. And so far, I'm really loving

911
00:54:13.640 --> 00:54:23.960
it. Okay, I got my thing out. Where did I have it? I got my I

912
00:54:23.960 --> 00:54:28.920
got my. Oh, there you go. Right. So I'm reading through it. And

913
00:54:28.960 --> 00:54:32.040
instead of using pen and paper to write thoughts, I'm like,

914
00:54:32.040 --> 00:54:35.360
okay, if I ever get triggered, or or not necessarily triggered,

915
00:54:35.360 --> 00:54:38.200
but like, there's thoughts that come to me on something I read,

916
00:54:38.200 --> 00:54:42.960
or I get to the questions, and I want to answer them. I just

917
00:54:42.960 --> 00:54:47.960
take my phone out and use Google Recorder to just, you know, like

918
00:54:47.960 --> 00:54:51.480
a memo, audio record everything. And the nice thing about Google

919
00:54:51.480 --> 00:54:55.440
Recorder is that it will automatically transcribe. And

920
00:54:55.440 --> 00:54:58.360
since I'm in my own private space, I can control the noise

921
00:54:58.360 --> 00:55:00.080
levels and get a clear

922
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:06.640
transcription. Then what I can do is I can feed that transcription, the audio recordings written

923
00:55:07.280 --> 00:55:14.400
part into something like into AI, like Anthropic Cloud and have it polish it up as though I wrote

924
00:55:14.400 --> 00:55:21.120
it in a journal in the first place. So it gets rid of any quirks of speech and the ums and uhs

925
00:55:21.120 --> 00:55:27.920
in it and stuff like that. And then I figured out that, hey, you know, I can incorporate,

926
00:55:28.000 --> 00:55:35.200
I can take the ebook, turn that into text, into a specific kind of formatted text, and then

927
00:55:35.200 --> 00:55:42.160
integrate it with my transcription and then have a, and from that I can actually get advice

928
00:55:42.160 --> 00:55:49.600
or guidance on problems. So I'm hoping that when I get to chapter nine, I can uh, I can figure out

929
00:55:49.600 --> 00:55:54.560
what is actually the deeper thing that's going on in me, that why, why can't I get through the

930
00:55:54.560 --> 00:56:00.880
chapter nine questions. So I haven't gotten there, I just finished chapter one, you know,

931
00:56:00.880 --> 00:56:05.840
just this last weekend, so maybe this weekend I'll make enough progress in another chapter or two,

932
00:56:05.840 --> 00:56:09.840
but. What is chapter nine, Josh? Chapter nine,

933
00:56:10.000 --> 00:56:11.120
um,

934
00:56:14.320 --> 00:56:15.120
wrong one.

935
00:56:39.840 --> 00:56:47.440
Yeah, I, I wish I knew all that cartwork thing. So you guys, you know, one of the things like I,

936
00:56:47.440 --> 00:56:54.320
like today, sorry, while Josh is looking, um, I realize I'm hung up on something,

937
00:56:54.880 --> 00:56:59.360
right? I, I've been doing so many years of inner healing, like, you know, you would think I have,

938
00:56:59.360 --> 00:57:04.720
I have a PhD in it, but I'm like, you know, I need to go back and talk to my counselor for a bit

939
00:57:04.720 --> 00:57:10.480
and like, and work through this thing that's kind of kicking my butt, right? And like, um,

940
00:57:10.480 --> 00:57:14.480
anxious attachment, I've been doing really good with it, but then every once in a while it flares

941
00:57:14.480 --> 00:57:21.680
up hardcore, right? And today it was one of those days where I was like, um, feeling stupidly

942
00:57:21.680 --> 00:57:26.240
anxious and I'm like, you know, there's, there's a little kid in me that's still not healed,

943
00:57:27.040 --> 00:57:30.560
right? You know, there's something that, you know, and so I was like, oh, and so I've been

944
00:57:30.560 --> 00:57:35.520
processing through that, but like, if you're hung up on something, we can seek help, right?

945
00:57:35.520 --> 00:57:42.480
Like, you know, um, you know, I, I just realized I need, I need, I, I want to be free. And you

946
00:57:42.480 --> 00:57:47.680
know, when the Lord brings something up, it's so he can set you free. You know, I call it revealing

947
00:57:47.680 --> 00:57:52.560
for healing, right? Like what's revealed. He wants to, whatever he reveals is so it'll be healed.

948
00:57:53.440 --> 00:58:01.040
Did you figure out Josh? Um, yeah, I got it. So chapter nine, the title of it is healthy,

949
00:58:01.040 --> 00:58:07.600
healed and whole hearts. And even though it doesn't sound like much, it's like a whole whopping

950
00:58:07.600 --> 00:58:17.360
15 pages. Um, so many physical pages to flip through. Um, but the questions on it are,

951
00:58:18.080 --> 00:58:22.640
and I'll just hit them real fast, just so that you get an idea of what's at the end of it.

952
00:58:23.280 --> 00:58:26.960
Um, questions ask, list three things that make you unique.

953
00:58:27.920 --> 00:58:31.360
Second question. Have you ever been stuck or are you currently stuck?

954
00:58:34.400 --> 00:58:38.400
It's the question, Josh. It has nothing to do with you. It was just a question stuck.

955
00:58:39.600 --> 00:58:45.120
You mess up, feel guilty, ask for forgiveness, but then eventually just do it again.

956
00:58:45.120 --> 00:58:49.760
What sin do you keep committing and can't seem to break free from? Do you beat yourself up when

957
00:58:49.760 --> 00:58:54.960
you fail? What are some of the things you say to yourself? Do you expect harsh discipline or

958
00:58:54.960 --> 00:59:00.720
punishment from God when you screw up? What are some words you would use to describe God's demeanor

959
00:59:00.720 --> 00:59:05.440
toward you when you sin? What are three of the lies you have believed that you need to repent

960
00:59:05.440 --> 00:59:12.080
from? One, two, three. Do you feel pressured to have it all together? By who? Do you find yourself

961
00:59:12.080 --> 00:59:17.520
hiding your real feelings or pain because you are worried about what people might think of

962
00:59:18.640 --> 00:59:24.480
you or you don't want to make other people uncomfortable? Do you hide when you cry?

963
00:59:25.120 --> 00:59:28.880
When is the last time you told someone about something you were struggling with?

964
00:59:28.880 --> 00:59:34.240
Do you have any secrets? Are you ready to tell? Man, I just feel like I get hit with a brick.

965
00:59:35.200 --> 00:59:38.000
No, dude, that's a list. That's a gauntlet, man.

966
00:59:41.600 --> 00:59:42.720
That's three pages.

967
00:59:44.640 --> 00:59:48.400
But you know, the cool thing about Jackie and what she's done, like I've done a lot of inner

968
00:59:48.400 --> 00:59:52.560
healing modalities and I really like how she compiles them all and brings them together.

969
00:59:53.280 --> 00:59:57.840
But like, if you can get through that list, Josh, you're doing great. Because like some of those,

970
00:59:57.840 --> 00:59:59.840
I'm like, well, yeah.

971
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:06.200
some work, some more work. Yeah. Okay. Need some work. Like, you

972
01:00:06.200 --> 01:00:09.700
know, it's about you guys, it's about pushing forward and

973
01:00:09.700 --> 01:00:13.920
progress. It's and just the only way you lose is if you don't

974
01:00:13.920 --> 01:00:17.600
keep staying the game. Right. Just keep pushing forward. Right.

975
01:00:17.600 --> 01:00:23.440
And so, and I'm proud of you all for being here. Right. And so I

976
01:00:23.440 --> 01:00:28.240
just we got an hour over time, if you guys want, but like, you

977
01:00:28.240 --> 01:00:30.280
know, Zach, how are you doing? I just want to kind of check in

978
01:00:30.280 --> 01:00:33.000
with everybody. And we kind of went all over the place tonight.

979
01:00:33.000 --> 01:00:33.760
But Zach, how are you doing?

980
01:00:34.600 --> 01:00:38.600
I'm good. Actually, I didn't get to mention it last week. But I

981
01:00:38.600 --> 01:00:43.880
just was in Mexico last week from Tuesday to Saturday. Did a

982
01:00:43.880 --> 01:00:47.800
little solo travel group company called flashback if you guys

983
01:00:47.800 --> 01:00:51.680
have heard of it. It's for solo travelers and like their 30s

984
01:00:51.680 --> 01:00:57.880
and 40s. It was it was a fantastic trip. I had a little

985
01:00:57.880 --> 01:01:02.080
bit of a health scare. But, you know, between obviously God's

986
01:01:02.080 --> 01:01:06.560
grace and everybody that was on the trip with me, you know, they

987
01:01:07.000 --> 01:01:11.000
took care of me and a big time of need. But you know, it was a

988
01:01:11.000 --> 01:01:16.240
fantastic trip just spent the last two days trying to recover

989
01:01:16.240 --> 01:01:21.920
and get reacclimated back to society. But yeah, that was it

990
01:01:21.920 --> 01:01:22.440
was great.

991
01:01:24.200 --> 01:01:26.520
Well, good to hear. I'm sorry you had a health scare, but I'm

992
01:01:27.040 --> 01:01:30.480
taking care of you know, but like it was your cover. That's

993
01:01:30.480 --> 01:01:34.680
amazing. Yeah. And it's cool. You know, you guys we need

994
01:01:34.680 --> 01:01:37.880
adventure. You know, if your life is stale, it's because you

995
01:01:37.880 --> 01:01:40.520
know, and you're depressed. A lot of it is because you don't

996
01:01:40.520 --> 01:01:43.480
have adventure in your life. Right. So way to go on an

997
01:01:43.480 --> 01:01:46.120
adventure. You know, you know,

998
01:01:48.400 --> 01:01:51.560
like, for example, one thing I did to prevent depression after

999
01:01:51.560 --> 01:01:55.440
a breakup is go on Israel was I planned it even if I'm talking

1000
01:01:55.440 --> 01:01:59.480
to someone on upward because you have no guarantees. And do

1001
01:01:59.480 --> 01:02:03.000
you got even more and it turned out great. And I'm more happy

1002
01:02:03.040 --> 01:02:03.480
from it.

1003
01:02:03.880 --> 01:02:06.520
Yeah, well, good job. But like, see, like, even hunter just

1004
01:02:06.520 --> 01:02:09.120
testifies to it, right? Like, you know, one of the things I

1005
01:02:09.120 --> 01:02:12.200
realized is like, my life's up in the air. So I've kind of been

1006
01:02:12.200 --> 01:02:17.360
holding and if you guys if you get if you guys are just sitting

1007
01:02:17.360 --> 01:02:21.320
there waiting, and you're not actually taking ground, you're

1008
01:02:21.320 --> 01:02:25.000
dying. Because we're made we're made to conquer, right? Like and

1009
01:02:25.000 --> 01:02:29.680
so even if it's like picking up a new sport or whatever, like

1010
01:02:29.720 --> 01:02:36.280
picking up on Yeah, or like, you know, I keep I have a love

1011
01:02:36.280 --> 01:02:42.960
as well. Yeah, love hate with my guitar, right? You know, I get

1012
01:02:43.000 --> 01:02:48.920
decent with it. And then I get really busy and then aren't any

1013
01:02:48.920 --> 01:02:52.840
good anymore. But so cool. Zack, I'm glad you had a good

1014
01:02:52.840 --> 01:02:56.960
time. And I'm way to go. What about you, john? How are you

1015
01:02:56.960 --> 01:02:58.280
doing? It's been a while since I've

1016
01:03:00.400 --> 01:03:04.360
Yeah, hey, just hanging out working. I've been sick the last

1017
01:03:04.360 --> 01:03:13.320
like, three days. Voice for a minute. But yeah. I don't know.

1018
01:03:13.320 --> 01:03:16.440
You know, I was thinking about because I'm seeing someone right

1019
01:03:16.440 --> 01:03:22.160
now. But I don't really know. It's been a bit. But I don't

1020
01:03:22.160 --> 01:03:26.960
really like who I who I kind of am with her. Not that I'm mean,

1021
01:03:27.320 --> 01:03:28.760
but I'm just like,

1022
01:03:31.640 --> 01:03:34.000
that's that's important. Okay. Well, because

1023
01:03:34.560 --> 01:03:36.960
case in point, I was seeing somebody before that. And I

1024
01:03:36.960 --> 01:03:39.720
really liked who I was with her because I always because I felt

1025
01:03:39.720 --> 01:03:43.840
like protective. And I felt like and which was weird for me

1026
01:03:43.840 --> 01:03:46.440
because even with my wife before she passed and

1027
01:03:46.480 --> 01:03:50.840
everything else and, and I was married once before, and I never

1028
01:03:50.840 --> 01:03:53.960
like, had the urge to buy flowers or any of that kind of

1029
01:03:53.960 --> 01:03:57.800
stuff. But somehow with the other person, the you know, I

1030
01:03:57.800 --> 01:04:01.640
had that urge. And it was just like, it just came like from my

1031
01:04:01.640 --> 01:04:04.920
heart. It was just like, not like an obligation. And so I

1032
01:04:04.920 --> 01:04:09.720
really liked who I was with that person, as far as my feelings,

1033
01:04:09.720 --> 01:04:13.480
but it just it didn't work out. And it, you know, and we were

1034
01:04:13.480 --> 01:04:15.560
broke up for a year, we got back together, and it just

1035
01:04:15.560 --> 01:04:19.640
didn't work out. But now, go ahead.

1036
01:04:19.720 --> 01:04:23.480
So what is it like, so you say, what is it you don't like? Or

1037
01:04:23.480 --> 01:04:25.360
what is it? What is the thing that come bring comes out in

1038
01:04:25.360 --> 01:04:27.840
you that you're not not not not liking?

1039
01:04:30.800 --> 01:04:34.560
Well, I don't feel the urge to go like, do things where the

1040
01:04:34.560 --> 01:04:37.520
other one is like, let's go for a drive. Let's go here. Let's do

1041
01:04:37.520 --> 01:04:37.920
this.

1042
01:04:38.000 --> 01:04:40.560
Was one an extrovert and the other one an introvert?

1043
01:04:40.640 --> 01:04:44.480
No, if actually this one I'm with is way more like,

1044
01:04:44.680 --> 01:04:49.760
extrovert and friendly. And, and the one I'm with now is like,

1045
01:04:49.760 --> 01:04:53.280
Oh, can I get you anything? Do you need anything? You know, you

1046
01:04:53.280 --> 01:04:56.440
know, and the other one was not like that.

1047
01:04:57.560 --> 01:05:00.000
And so so I've experienced like, so yeah.

1048
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:09.000
He's talking about acts of service, one of his love languages is not the act of service,

1049
01:05:09.000 --> 01:05:11.800
which he wants to do.

1050
01:05:11.800 --> 01:05:18.040
And this is for everybody.

1051
01:05:18.040 --> 01:05:20.340
I want a partner.

1052
01:05:20.340 --> 01:05:23.600
I don't want a servant.

1053
01:05:23.600 --> 01:05:27.680
And I do appreciate when it's care.

1054
01:05:27.680 --> 01:05:36.680
But I want to be a partner with somebody.

1055
01:05:36.680 --> 01:05:41.480
My mother-in-law did everything around the house, served my father-in-law, right?

1056
01:05:41.480 --> 01:05:43.920
And that drove me crazy.

1057
01:05:43.920 --> 01:05:47.720
That's not how I roll, because I want to do things together.

1058
01:05:47.720 --> 01:05:51.960
But I also have to err and allow women.

1059
01:05:52.200 --> 01:05:57.920
One of my flaws is I have a tendency to be very independent.

1060
01:05:57.920 --> 01:06:01.560
And women need to be allowed to actually care for you.

1061
01:06:01.560 --> 01:06:03.120
You need to let them to care for you.

1062
01:06:03.120 --> 01:06:04.700
So there's a balance there.

1063
01:06:04.700 --> 01:06:10.480
But it sounds like, John, that you had one that was a partner in crime, and you have

1064
01:06:10.480 --> 01:06:14.960
one who really just wants to serve you, which isn't a bad thing.

1065
01:06:14.960 --> 01:06:16.280
It's not really that.

1066
01:06:16.280 --> 01:06:23.840
To be totally honest, I was heavier before, and I lost weight after my wife passed away.

1067
01:06:23.840 --> 01:06:28.720
And I got to the point, because I got up to almost 300 pounds, and I got to the point

1068
01:06:28.720 --> 01:06:34.320
where it was just uncomfortable, and I didn't like it anymore.

1069
01:06:34.320 --> 01:06:39.200
And this woman's a little heavier, and if she was smaller, I would be way more...

1070
01:06:39.200 --> 01:06:43.160
Because now I'm feeling like all those restrictions that I was feeling that I wanted to go do

1071
01:06:43.160 --> 01:06:45.240
things, well, it's almost...

1072
01:06:45.240 --> 01:06:52.280
And then plus there's still that, I'm going to say self-hate, of being overweight.

1073
01:06:52.280 --> 01:07:00.120
Because now I'm not, and I wanted to give that up, and then now I don't want to be like...

1074
01:07:00.120 --> 01:07:01.120
Okay.

1075
01:07:01.120 --> 01:07:02.120
That's a good...

1076
01:07:02.120 --> 01:07:03.120
Okay, so.

1077
01:07:03.120 --> 01:07:04.120
All right.

1078
01:07:04.120 --> 01:07:07.600
But it sounds so bad to say it, and I don't even like to think it.

1079
01:07:07.600 --> 01:07:08.600
Well, okay.

1080
01:07:08.600 --> 01:07:11.400
I am not looking for a couch potato.

1081
01:07:11.400 --> 01:07:14.920
I was talking to David earlier, right?

1082
01:07:15.600 --> 01:07:16.600
He needs somebody who's active.

1083
01:07:16.600 --> 01:07:20.720
Well, I'm not looking for a couch potato, but yeah, it's just...

1084
01:07:20.720 --> 01:07:24.360
I want to be able to do things, and if somebody is overweight and can't do the things that

1085
01:07:24.360 --> 01:07:28.160
I want to do, then that's going to hamstring what I want to do.

1086
01:07:28.160 --> 01:07:29.160
I feel you.

1087
01:07:29.160 --> 01:07:30.160
Huh?

1088
01:07:30.160 --> 01:07:33.520
I feel you, because I had one woman who...

1089
01:07:33.520 --> 01:07:38.120
I was going to be a gentleman, but she said, hold this, clean this for me, order me everyone

1090
01:07:38.120 --> 01:07:39.440
like servants.

1091
01:07:39.440 --> 01:07:41.300
And I'm like, no, thank you.

1092
01:07:41.300 --> 01:07:42.300
You do it yourself.

1093
01:07:43.300 --> 01:07:45.980
We may be special needs like me, but I don't do that.

1094
01:07:45.980 --> 01:07:46.980
Yeah.

1095
01:07:46.980 --> 01:07:47.980
Okay, honey, we're going to...

1096
01:07:47.980 --> 01:07:48.980
That's cool.

1097
01:07:48.980 --> 01:07:51.340
But I want to just address what John's saying real quick.

1098
01:07:51.340 --> 01:07:54.420
So John, like, that isn't self-hate.

1099
01:07:54.420 --> 01:07:56.820
I just want to break that right now in Jesus' name.

1100
01:07:56.820 --> 01:07:59.180
No, I agree with you.

1101
01:07:59.180 --> 01:08:01.380
You want to live, right?

1102
01:08:01.380 --> 01:08:02.380
And there's no problem...

1103
01:08:02.380 --> 01:08:04.820
I want to go travel and do some other stuff, and that's what I did with the other one.

1104
01:08:04.820 --> 01:08:06.140
That's not selfish.

1105
01:08:06.140 --> 01:08:08.020
That's actually what you want to do with your life.

1106
01:08:08.020 --> 01:08:11.580
Yeah, but this one, she's really sweet.

1107
01:08:11.580 --> 01:08:13.060
She's really a kind woman.

1108
01:08:13.060 --> 01:08:14.780
It don't matter.

1109
01:08:14.780 --> 01:08:21.859
It's like, you know, one of my axes to grind, like things that break my heart, is like all

1110
01:08:21.859 --> 01:08:24.620
the overweight Christian men and women, right?

1111
01:08:24.620 --> 01:08:31.979
You know, like, we're meant to conquer the world, but if we're stuck with diabetes and

1112
01:08:31.979 --> 01:08:36.620
dying early, then, you know, like, it's just not good.

1113
01:08:36.620 --> 01:08:39.819
And yeah.

1114
01:08:40.460 --> 01:08:43.740
So John, like, I just want to free you from all that stuff.

1115
01:08:43.740 --> 01:08:46.020
You don't want to go back, and that's okay.

1116
01:08:46.020 --> 01:08:51.060
And if you want to be with somebody who you can actually get out and go around with, okay,

1117
01:08:51.060 --> 01:08:54.220
you guys, we're wired to do things together.

1118
01:08:54.220 --> 01:08:56.220
That's how we bond, right?

1119
01:08:56.220 --> 01:09:01.100
So being able to go out with your bride and do things, that's a huge thing, right?

1120
01:09:01.100 --> 01:09:05.899
Yeah, like, the bad part that I think about, if she was, like, say, like, 50 pounds lighter

1121
01:09:05.899 --> 01:09:10.460
or whatever, I'd be totally there.

1122
01:09:10.460 --> 01:09:15.660
But I haven't allowed myself to totally open up, really, because...

1123
01:09:15.660 --> 01:09:18.660
Well, no, because it doesn't fit, and you know it doesn't fit.

1124
01:09:18.660 --> 01:09:23.300
Yeah, but it sounds so, like, petty on my part, you know?

1125
01:09:23.300 --> 01:09:27.899
And that's the part that is hard for me, because it's not...

1126
01:09:27.899 --> 01:09:29.979
And I know that.

1127
01:09:29.979 --> 01:09:34.540
I feel like an ass sometimes, right?

1128
01:09:34.580 --> 01:09:38.819
But the reality is, is I need somebody who I can go and do things with.

1129
01:09:38.819 --> 01:09:39.819
The life that...

1130
01:09:39.819 --> 01:09:46.140
I need somebody that wants to live the same life as I do, and we can go together.

1131
01:09:46.140 --> 01:09:50.140
You know, my ex turned into a couch potato, right?

1132
01:09:50.140 --> 01:09:53.500
We used to go do all kinds of things, and then she turned into a couch potato.

1133
01:09:53.500 --> 01:09:59.020
And I realized, like, it sucked the life out of me, because I wanted to go adventure.

1134
01:09:59.020 --> 01:10:00.020
And all she wants to do is sit around.

1135
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.360
on the house. Oh my God. And if you have two people who want to

1136
01:10:04.360 --> 01:10:07.400
sit around the house, that's perfect. That's great. Well,

1137
01:10:07.400 --> 01:10:12.040
that was my marriage before my wife passed. It was like, you

1138
01:10:12.040 --> 01:10:16.600
know, I'd come home and she's a stay at home mom. And so I'd

1139
01:10:16.600 --> 01:10:19.880
like be in the family room watching TV and everything else

1140
01:10:19.880 --> 01:10:22.200
and she'd be in the bedroom reading a book and then I get

1141
01:10:22.240 --> 01:10:25.200
we'd go to bed and then you know, or I go to bed and then

1142
01:10:25.200 --> 01:10:29.480
wake up and go to work and, and this almost feels almost like

1143
01:10:29.480 --> 01:10:32.120
marriage kind of because on the weekends, we go do things now

1144
01:10:32.120 --> 01:10:34.840
with this mean this other lady, but during the week, I'm just

1145
01:10:34.840 --> 01:10:37.760
kind of doing my own thing, which is kind of and that's

1146
01:10:37.760 --> 01:10:41.600
good, like and you've learned what you want. It's okay to go

1147
01:10:41.680 --> 01:10:44.640
like you're not, you know, like, it's not being a jerk to

1148
01:10:44.640 --> 01:10:47.880
actually get what you want and what you need. Right? And you

1149
01:10:47.880 --> 01:10:51.880
don't and just because your old relationship had those those

1150
01:10:51.920 --> 01:10:56.120
things, but you ended up being three almost 300 pounds, right?

1151
01:10:56.120 --> 01:11:01.000
Like, so, so you know, like, you don't, it's not selfish to

1152
01:11:01.120 --> 01:11:06.320
prioritize your health and fun and living. You guys, I don't

1153
01:11:06.320 --> 01:11:09.320
know about you. But if you guys all want to exist in a marriage

1154
01:11:09.360 --> 01:11:12.440
and you just want to exist through life, more power to you,

1155
01:11:12.440 --> 01:11:17.720
but I want to live and I want to thrive. Right? And, and, and

1156
01:11:17.720 --> 01:11:20.600
that's why I take good care, do my best care of my health that I

1157
01:11:20.600 --> 01:11:24.080
can, is because I'm not going to ask somebody, I'm not going to

1158
01:11:24.080 --> 01:11:26.280
pursue somebody who I'm not willing to do the same thing.

1159
01:11:26.600 --> 01:11:29.680
Right? So it just sounds like you're just you're just not a

1160
01:11:29.680 --> 01:11:32.520
good match, because you're like, like Clayton had a lot of things

1161
01:11:32.520 --> 01:11:36.160
that like they had chemistry. If I asked Clayton, I'm like, if

1162
01:11:36.160 --> 01:11:40.920
they didn't have chemistry, as a Clayton, you know, something

1163
01:11:40.920 --> 01:11:43.480
you really got to check, but they had chemistry. So the other

1164
01:11:43.480 --> 01:11:46.640
thing can be worked through what you're talking about is, well,

1165
01:11:46.640 --> 01:11:50.360
we got chemistry. Well, no, no, no, no, but but you don't have

1166
01:11:50.400 --> 01:11:55.200
the, you don't have the, the physical, you guys aren't in the

1167
01:11:55.200 --> 01:11:58.920
same place and what you want to do in life. Yeah. And so you

1168
01:11:58.920 --> 01:12:01.080
want you want to go out and adventure and be somebody who's

1169
01:12:01.080 --> 01:12:04.960
active. And, and she doesn't fit that bill for us. It was it's

1170
01:12:04.960 --> 01:12:05.680
what I see.

1171
01:12:07.280 --> 01:12:10.560
I'm like wondering, like, well, how come I don't want to, you

1172
01:12:10.560 --> 01:12:13.600
know, hey, let's like what the other woman in between is like,

1173
01:12:13.600 --> 01:12:16.280
hey, let's go out here. Let's go for a drive. Instead.

1174
01:12:16.280 --> 01:12:21.880
And I don't do that. Right. And different people have like

1175
01:12:21.880 --> 01:12:24.960
different people have different wants and desires. Yeah.

1176
01:12:25.320 --> 01:12:29.200
I've got a question for you, Josh. Have you expressed

1177
01:12:29.240 --> 01:12:31.920
yourself to her about the element of your activities and

1178
01:12:31.920 --> 01:12:34.520
her joining in? Have you talked about that with her?

1179
01:12:36.400 --> 01:12:39.760
Well, it's not like I go hiking every day, but it's like I go

1180
01:12:39.760 --> 01:12:43.720
ride my bike and stuff. But I mean, I just what I don't like

1181
01:12:43.720 --> 01:12:47.480
is that I'm not in my head going, hey, let's go planet.

1182
01:12:47.640 --> 01:12:50.720
Let's go get away for the weekend. Hey, let's go travel

1183
01:12:50.720 --> 01:12:55.640
here. Let's go do this. I don't feel that desire. And so I don't

1184
01:12:55.640 --> 01:12:58.120
feel the desire to tell her I love her. I don't feel the

1185
01:12:58.120 --> 01:13:02.480
desire to go buy her flowers. And so like I'm saying, I, I was

1186
01:13:02.480 --> 01:13:05.640
a different person for a bit. And I liked that person that I

1187
01:13:05.640 --> 01:13:11.160
was with someone else. And I'm not that person in it. And I'm

1188
01:13:11.160 --> 01:13:14.280
like, well, why don't I have these feelings? And in my very

1189
01:13:14.280 --> 01:13:19.800
first marriage, I was like, you know, I was married like five

1190
01:13:19.800 --> 01:13:23.880
years, but I remember being like, I don't like being

1191
01:13:23.880 --> 01:13:27.040
married. I don't like being here. And it was just it was

1192
01:13:27.040 --> 01:13:30.120
just not good. And you know, like trying to talk, you know,

1193
01:13:30.120 --> 01:13:32.240
you try to talk yourself into something, you feel like you're

1194
01:13:32.240 --> 01:13:34.160
doing that. That's what it feels like.

1195
01:13:34.880 --> 01:13:37.400
Don't do that. Don't settle. Yeah, I know. Yeah.

1196
01:13:38.320 --> 01:13:40.680
Dude, you're too late in the game to settle.

1197
01:13:41.080 --> 01:13:43.720
Yeah, I think David had the best thing. You tell him you're gonna

1198
01:13:43.720 --> 01:13:47.000
move pretty soon. And if it works out, you go, I changed my

1199
01:13:47.000 --> 01:13:49.400
mind. I'm not moving. But if it doesn't work out, you're like,

1200
01:13:49.400 --> 01:13:50.760
Hey, yeah, I'm gonna move.

1201
01:13:50.840 --> 01:13:53.480
Or just invite her. You just you just put a ring on it and

1202
01:13:53.480 --> 01:13:56.560
move her there with you. But you know, but like, like john, like

1203
01:13:56.560 --> 01:13:57.200
just just

1204
01:13:57.240 --> 01:13:58.360
a man.

1205
01:14:00.800 --> 01:14:03.600
It's not selfish. I just want to break that off. Yeah, I know.

1206
01:14:03.600 --> 01:14:06.320
It's just you guys, you're talking about a lifetime

1207
01:14:06.320 --> 01:14:09.080
covenant. That's true. And that's the most important thing

1208
01:14:09.080 --> 01:14:12.360
you can do. So you marry like now and john, like if you were

1209
01:14:12.360 --> 01:14:15.960
saying like, that's something important. Health is important.

1210
01:14:15.960 --> 01:14:20.520
And the way that you interact. Like, if you had if you if you

1211
01:14:20.520 --> 01:14:24.040
had other great ever, that just it just doesn't just everything

1212
01:14:24.040 --> 01:14:26.840
about it doesn't seem to work for you. And she can be the

1213
01:14:26.840 --> 01:14:30.200
nicest person ever. She could be Mother Teresa. And I enjoy her.

1214
01:14:30.200 --> 01:14:33.120
I like it. Yeah. But it just isn't a romantic. That's not

1215
01:14:33.120 --> 01:14:36.000
somebody you want to pursue a covenant with. And that's

1216
01:14:36.000 --> 01:14:39.040
something that you've found. Well, I feel like I'm trying to

1217
01:14:39.040 --> 01:14:42.840
talk myself into it. Don't do it. Yeah, no, that's like,

1218
01:14:42.920 --> 01:14:44.600
trust me, it don't work good.

1219
01:14:45.680 --> 01:14:49.440
Well, I've been married twice. And yeah, I know. I know. But

1220
01:14:49.440 --> 01:14:52.760
you know, at the end of my marriage before she got sick, I

1221
01:14:52.760 --> 01:14:56.000
was just like, Oh, well, it's this is just the way it's gonna

1222
01:14:56.000 --> 01:14:59.040
be. It's just gonna be like I had resolved that life was just

1223
01:14:59.040 --> 01:14:59.800
gonna be

1224
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:01.840
you know, the way it is.

1225
01:15:01.840 --> 01:15:05.200
And then when she passed, she had cancer and it was,

1226
01:15:05.200 --> 01:15:08.000
you know, hard, but then it made me feel

1227
01:15:08.000 --> 01:15:11.400
like I had a new leash, you know, a whole different,

1228
01:15:11.400 --> 01:15:15.400
you know, because we were married like 29 years or something.

1229
01:15:15.400 --> 01:15:16.240
Yeah.

1230
01:15:16.240 --> 01:15:17.080
Yeah.

1231
01:15:17.080 --> 01:15:19.840
So don't settle, don't force yourself to do something that.

1232
01:15:19.840 --> 01:15:20.680
Yeah.

1233
01:15:20.680 --> 01:15:22.860
Don't put a square peg in a round hole.

1234
01:15:22.860 --> 01:15:23.700
No, I know.

1235
01:15:23.700 --> 01:15:26.200
Because, you know, go for, you know, like it really is.

1236
01:15:26.200 --> 01:15:28.840
So, all right, well, thanks for sharing.

1237
01:15:28.840 --> 01:15:30.080
And all you guys, thanks for sharing.

1238
01:15:30.080 --> 01:15:32.400
So I haven't, I haven't like, you guys are,

1239
01:15:32.400 --> 01:15:33.560
you guys are studs, dude.

1240
01:15:33.560 --> 01:15:35.520
You're airing your stuff.

1241
01:15:35.520 --> 01:15:38.440
And hey, Christopher, how are you doing?

1242
01:15:39.680 --> 01:15:41.100
What's going on with you?

1243
01:15:41.100 --> 01:15:41.940
If you, if you want,

1244
01:15:41.940 --> 01:15:43.520
and you guys don't have to share, right?

1245
01:15:43.520 --> 01:15:45.360
You know, but if you want, like,

1246
01:15:46.400 --> 01:15:47.640
I just want to give you the floor

1247
01:15:47.640 --> 01:15:49.600
and see how you guys are doing.

1248
01:15:49.600 --> 01:15:51.360
And I know we're over and if you guys got to go,

1249
01:15:51.360 --> 01:15:52.920
I'm not going to be mad at you.

1250
01:15:55.140 --> 01:15:57.280
Assuming you were asking me just now.

1251
01:15:57.280 --> 01:15:58.440
Yes, I was.

1252
01:15:59.120 --> 01:16:02.840
Hey, I'm just existing.

1253
01:16:02.840 --> 01:16:04.600
Nothing's really happening.

1254
01:16:04.600 --> 01:16:05.560
Yeah.

1255
01:16:05.560 --> 01:16:06.600
I can kind of feel that.

1256
01:16:06.600 --> 01:16:08.960
That's kind of why I was looking at counseling today.

1257
01:16:08.960 --> 01:16:11.080
I was like, you know, I think I need to work this.

1258
01:16:11.080 --> 01:16:14.520
So, Christopher, is there some,

1259
01:16:14.520 --> 01:16:18.040
I just encourage you pick up something new,

1260
01:16:18.040 --> 01:16:20.560
go on an adventure, even if it's a little adventure.

1261
01:16:20.560 --> 01:16:21.380
Right?

1262
01:16:21.380 --> 01:16:26.040
You know, like I, you know,

1263
01:16:26.040 --> 01:16:27.680
I don't know, I'm going to start doing,

1264
01:16:27.680 --> 01:16:29.720
I think I'm going to start doing salsa dancing.

1265
01:16:29.720 --> 01:16:32.000
That's kind of one of the things I've been looking at.

1266
01:16:34.720 --> 01:16:37.520
I have a couple of irons in the fire.

1267
01:16:37.520 --> 01:16:38.360
Cool.

1268
01:16:38.360 --> 01:16:40.480
And I just say that because, you know,

1269
01:16:40.480 --> 01:16:42.240
we need diversity.

1270
01:16:42.240 --> 01:16:43.680
We need to do stuff, right?

1271
01:16:43.680 --> 01:16:46.840
Otherwise we'll go die, we'll die.

1272
01:16:48.040 --> 01:16:50.680
I'm going to give up and retire from video games too,

1273
01:16:50.680 --> 01:16:54.260
because they, especially not when it's a beautiful day.

1274
01:16:55.260 --> 01:16:56.180
Yeah.

1275
01:16:56.180 --> 01:16:57.820
You know, they have their place sometimes,

1276
01:16:57.820 --> 01:16:59.580
but yeah, it's been raining in California.

1277
01:16:59.580 --> 01:17:02.580
So like, there's been no water, you know?

1278
01:17:02.580 --> 01:17:03.980
So Abram, how are you doing?

1279
01:17:06.460 --> 01:17:08.300
I'm doing all right.

1280
01:17:08.300 --> 01:17:10.340
So John.

1281
01:17:10.340 --> 01:17:11.980
Yeah.

1282
01:17:11.980 --> 01:17:13.420
I was dating this chick for a while, dude.

1283
01:17:13.420 --> 01:17:16.260
And I had to sit down and talk about like diabetes

1284
01:17:16.260 --> 01:17:18.500
and raising kids and food.

1285
01:17:18.500 --> 01:17:19.380
And she was awesome.

1286
01:17:19.380 --> 01:17:20.540
We connected.

1287
01:17:20.540 --> 01:17:22.220
But at the end of the day, she was like,

1288
01:17:22.220 --> 01:17:24.940
I'm never going to stop drinking soda.

1289
01:17:24.940 --> 01:17:26.900
And she just, you know, didn't even want to lean in.

1290
01:17:26.900 --> 01:17:30.460
So man, it just sucks when they're like good people.

1291
01:17:30.460 --> 01:17:32.780
And, you know, there's just, you know,

1292
01:17:32.780 --> 01:17:36.020
no wanting to just give any percentage.

1293
01:17:36.020 --> 01:17:37.780
So I feel you on that, man.

1294
01:17:37.780 --> 01:17:40.860
Well, I haven't said anything to her about it, you know?

1295
01:17:40.860 --> 01:17:42.340
Because like, my concern is like kids.

1296
01:17:42.340 --> 01:17:43.540
So like future stuff, you're kind of like,

1297
01:17:43.540 --> 01:17:44.780
just hanging out, you know?

1298
01:17:44.780 --> 01:17:47.340
Yeah, I'm like, I got five kids.

1299
01:17:47.340 --> 01:17:49.100
I got seven grandkids.

1300
01:17:49.100 --> 01:17:50.460
I'm done with kids.

1301
01:17:50.460 --> 01:17:51.300
Yeah.

1302
01:17:51.300 --> 01:17:52.780
So for me, it was like future food.

1303
01:17:52.780 --> 01:17:53.860
Like I'm not the food police.

1304
01:17:53.860 --> 01:17:56.300
I'm not going to tell her, you know,

1305
01:17:56.300 --> 01:17:57.460
people got to want it on their own.

1306
01:17:57.460 --> 01:17:59.020
So I feel that.

1307
01:17:59.020 --> 01:18:03.380
But, oh, did he have to leave?

1308
01:18:04.260 --> 01:18:05.300
Clayton?

1309
01:18:05.300 --> 01:18:06.340
Yeah, he took off.

1310
01:18:06.340 --> 01:18:07.460
Oh, my bad.

1311
01:18:07.460 --> 01:18:08.300
I had questions.

1312
01:18:08.300 --> 01:18:09.700
Yeah, Clayton had to leave.

1313
01:18:09.700 --> 01:18:11.500
I had questions for Clayton.

1314
01:18:11.500 --> 01:18:12.340
Bye.

1315
01:18:12.340 --> 01:18:16.340
Clayton, but hey, Josh, maybe next week or something,

1316
01:18:17.340 --> 01:18:19.940
like I'm down to tell you my answers.

1317
01:18:20.020 --> 01:18:22.500
I always have my papers where I answered all the,

1318
01:18:23.340 --> 01:18:25.380
all the hard work, all the questions.

1319
01:18:25.380 --> 01:18:27.020
So I'm down to spill the guts on that, man.

1320
01:18:27.020 --> 01:18:28.620
I don't care.

1321
01:18:28.620 --> 01:18:29.460
Yeah.

1322
01:18:29.460 --> 01:18:31.020
But anywho, yeah, I was going to ask Clayton

1323
01:18:31.020 --> 01:18:31.860
just a couple of questions.

1324
01:18:31.860 --> 01:18:35.860
Like, it sounds to me that plain Jane,

1325
01:18:35.860 --> 01:18:36.820
there's no attraction.

1326
01:18:36.820 --> 01:18:38.260
So it just kind of sucks.

1327
01:18:38.260 --> 01:18:40.780
No, plain Jane, there was attraction.

1328
01:18:40.780 --> 01:18:42.780
No, you were talking about like.

1329
01:18:44.460 --> 01:18:45.300
Or chemistry.

1330
01:18:45.300 --> 01:18:46.940
Different, yeah, chemistry.

1331
01:18:46.940 --> 01:18:48.420
Yeah, chemistry is different.

1332
01:18:48.420 --> 01:18:50.660
It just seemed like lack of attraction.

1333
01:18:50.660 --> 01:18:51.620
And that just kind of sucks

1334
01:18:51.620 --> 01:18:53.420
because you meet good people, right?

1335
01:18:53.420 --> 01:18:56.180
The second one was a single mom.

1336
01:18:56.180 --> 01:18:57.020
Yeah.

1337
01:18:57.020 --> 01:18:57.860
I don't think he's ready for that.

1338
01:18:57.860 --> 01:18:58.700
I get that.

1339
01:18:58.700 --> 01:19:02.180
And the third one, he said he's super attracted to,

1340
01:19:02.180 --> 01:19:03.780
but then you guys started talking about the yolk stuff.

1341
01:19:03.780 --> 01:19:04.980
I mean, can he help her?

1342
01:19:06.940 --> 01:19:11.300
There's a point to it, but it depends on where you're at.

1343
01:19:11.300 --> 01:19:12.140
And, you know, Clayton,

1344
01:19:12.140 --> 01:19:14.540
from the conversations I've had with him,

1345
01:19:14.540 --> 01:19:17.460
I don't think somebody, yes, you can help them,

1346
01:19:17.460 --> 01:19:19.780
but like that's something like,

1347
01:19:19.780 --> 01:19:22.980
so this is a theme that's kind of all night long

1348
01:19:22.980 --> 01:19:24.980
in different aspects.

1349
01:19:25.940 --> 01:19:29.020
You kind of have to take people where they're at, right?

1350
01:19:29.020 --> 01:19:32.060
And, you know, because a lot of times we're like,

1351
01:19:32.060 --> 01:19:33.700
well, if they just, this would just change,

1352
01:19:33.700 --> 01:19:34.860
then everything would be great.

1353
01:19:34.860 --> 01:19:37.940
But the reality is, is most of the time,

1354
01:19:37.940 --> 01:19:40.460
90% of the time that doesn't change, right?

1355
01:19:40.460 --> 01:19:43.140
And you can have the conversation, an honest conversation

1356
01:19:43.140 --> 01:19:45.900
and say, you know, this just doesn't work for me.

1357
01:19:45.940 --> 01:19:48.180
But then I just have seen too many times

1358
01:19:48.180 --> 01:19:50.580
where people just do it to get into a relationship

1359
01:19:50.580 --> 01:19:52.340
and then they let themselves fall away.

1360
01:19:52.340 --> 01:19:55.180
So I'm looking for somebody who's actually living that,

1361
01:19:55.180 --> 01:19:56.020
right?

1362
01:19:56.020 --> 01:19:56.860
And I don't want somebody to be like,

1363
01:19:56.860 --> 01:19:58.820
I'm gonna do this for you, right?

1364
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.960
Spiritually, like, like, like, Abraham, it depends on where

1365
01:20:04.960 --> 01:20:07.200
you're at, and what you're called to, and where you're

1366
01:20:07.200 --> 01:20:10.800
spiritual. Like, if you guys are, like, within a certain

1367
01:20:10.800 --> 01:20:14.640
range, right, right. But if one's up here, and one's down

1368
01:20:14.640 --> 01:20:20.240
here, right, it's just not, like, once again, I've seen, I

1369
01:20:20.240 --> 01:20:25.740
just have seen it where it goes great for a minute, because they

1370
01:20:25.740 --> 01:20:28.680
did it, there was all the all the endorphins, all the fun, all

1371
01:20:28.680 --> 01:20:34.200
the great things. And then it goes back to this again. Right.

1372
01:20:34.200 --> 01:20:37.080
And and then you're in a covenant. Right. And I just have

1373
01:20:37.080 --> 01:20:40.160
seen that through too many times, where I'm like, hey,

1374
01:20:40.320 --> 01:20:45.060
that's why I encourage Yes, you can try it. Right. But I've

1375
01:20:45.060 --> 01:20:47.520
just seen it burn. I've seen too many people get burned from

1376
01:20:47.520 --> 01:20:51.880
that. And so my courage is find somebody who's in your in your

1377
01:20:51.880 --> 01:20:53.160
zone. Does that make sense?

1378
01:20:53.560 --> 01:20:55.360
Yeah, you're saying just like, at least close, you don't have

1379
01:20:55.360 --> 01:20:56.800
to be exact. But yeah,

1380
01:20:58.760 --> 01:21:02.440
I am up here and you have, you know, like, I love helping

1381
01:21:02.440 --> 01:21:06.320
people, right. But I want somebody who I can have an equal

1382
01:21:06.320 --> 01:21:10.040
conversation with or close to equal, spiritually,

1383
01:21:10.080 --> 01:21:15.520
emotionally, you know, and intellectually. And, and I

1384
01:21:15.520 --> 01:21:18.160
really appreciate you. Like, you're a really good catalyst

1385
01:21:18.160 --> 01:21:21.800
for conversation. And I just love who you are. And, and how

1386
01:21:21.800 --> 01:21:24.280
you just shoot it straight. Because, hey, guys, I'm not

1387
01:21:24.800 --> 01:21:27.840
not above board. Like, you know, like, if I'm off, hit me.

1388
01:21:29.040 --> 01:21:31.280
I haven't asked. I have some wins. I haven't asked any women

1389
01:21:31.280 --> 01:21:33.920
who they voted for recently. I've been doing better. It's

1390
01:21:33.920 --> 01:21:35.520
good. Yeah.

1391
01:21:35.560 --> 01:21:36.280
What'd you say?

1392
01:21:38.640 --> 01:21:43.440
I haven't asked anybody if they voted for Kamala Harris. So

1393
01:21:44.720 --> 01:21:46.360
it's good to know what

1394
01:21:46.880 --> 01:21:51.040
I'm working on it. You know, I uh, you know, when you think

1395
01:21:51.040 --> 01:21:53.160
you meet your person, and you're going to ask all the questions,

1396
01:21:53.160 --> 01:21:54.800
and they're just going to answer it. All right. You know,

1397
01:21:54.800 --> 01:21:56.880
just, you know, sometimes that happens.

1398
01:21:57.520 --> 01:22:01.240
So we totally get tired of interject just wanted to say,

1399
01:22:01.240 --> 01:22:04.240
like, right away that I just figured right away that like,

1400
01:22:04.240 --> 01:22:07.320
you probably got nervous because you liked her and liked her

1401
01:22:07.320 --> 01:22:09.880
like, this is her. And then

1402
01:22:09.920 --> 01:22:12.680
yeah, you want to like rip, you know, because you're getting a

1403
01:22:12.680 --> 01:22:15.520
little anxious. Yeah, pretty secure. But you want to like,

1404
01:22:16.120 --> 01:22:20.160
anxious rises, it comes around. And you're like, let's just rip

1405
01:22:20.160 --> 01:22:22.560
these band aids off. We're soulmates. You know, or you

1406
01:22:22.560 --> 01:22:26.000
know, whatever saying you want to make your say. But uh, yeah,

1407
01:22:26.040 --> 01:22:26.600
kind of funny.

1408
01:22:26.760 --> 01:22:30.520
Well, no, I done it, bro. Like I go in and you're like, well,

1409
01:22:30.520 --> 01:22:34.760
we're doing so good. Hello, we're doing so good. And then

1410
01:22:34.760 --> 01:22:37.960
you're like, I want to get all my questions answered right now.

1411
01:22:37.960 --> 01:22:41.000
Like, let's just get this all out of the table. Let's go. And

1412
01:22:41.200 --> 01:22:45.040
and there is a time for that. But you need to build the

1413
01:22:45.040 --> 01:22:48.480
interest, like the connection. You don't want to take the

1414
01:22:48.480 --> 01:22:52.520
conversations higher than the connection level. Right? And I

1415
01:22:52.520 --> 01:22:55.880
have blown this so many times, guys, like, you know, the reason

1416
01:22:55.880 --> 01:22:58.960
why I'm telling you guys like, like, just just chill and be

1417
01:22:58.960 --> 01:23:03.920
you is because I've done that too many times, right? And it's

1418
01:23:03.920 --> 01:23:08.600
one of my like, in a room, my anxiety right now, with a gal

1419
01:23:08.640 --> 01:23:11.840
is like, why we're not even in relationship, but like, just

1420
01:23:11.840 --> 01:23:15.440
even dealing with that, like today, it's spiked off the

1421
01:23:15.440 --> 01:23:19.520
charts. Right? And I'm like, I'm literally doing breathing

1422
01:23:19.520 --> 01:23:23.880
exercises, because I'm and I'm telling myself like, dude, I

1423
01:23:23.880 --> 01:23:27.160
don't even like it's, if it's gonna go, it's gonna go. But

1424
01:23:27.160 --> 01:23:31.320
because it's been such a painful part of my life. Right? Like,

1425
01:23:31.640 --> 01:23:34.200
it's touching that and that tells me I do really like her.

1426
01:23:34.920 --> 01:23:38.240
Because you're not gonna get anxious if you're not gonna get

1427
01:23:38.240 --> 01:23:40.440
anxious if you don't like somebody, like, honestly, if

1428
01:23:40.440 --> 01:23:43.880
they're not, you know, and that should, you know, like, just

1429
01:23:43.880 --> 01:23:45.640
because they're not they're not somebody that you're really

1430
01:23:45.640 --> 01:23:48.240
thinking that you can be part. But when you when you meet

1431
01:23:48.240 --> 01:23:50.400
somebody, you're like, this could be the one could be the

1432
01:23:50.400 --> 01:23:56.920
one. Take it slow, be you. John, I love how you how john was

1433
01:23:56.920 --> 01:24:01.360
talking about. I don't like how I feel around her. Right? And

1434
01:24:01.360 --> 01:24:04.520
that could be it could be on the other person. Or it could be on

1435
01:24:04.520 --> 01:24:09.320
you. But either way. Either way, it's something that you need to

1436
01:24:09.320 --> 01:24:12.520
look at. And I'm proud of you for looking at that, john. And

1437
01:24:12.520 --> 01:24:14.400
you look at you just really want somebody that you can be

1438
01:24:14.400 --> 01:24:18.840
active with and enjoy life with. Right? And get out and adventure

1439
01:24:19.400 --> 01:24:24.600
and live. Right. And so and I think every one of you guys, we

1440
01:24:24.600 --> 01:24:31.520
live for adventure. Right? And so it's so important. And oh,

1441
01:24:31.520 --> 01:24:34.040
and yeah, and David, we talked a little bit earlier, are you out

1442
01:24:34.040 --> 01:24:36.960
of the pub? You have a reception? Other David? Yeah.

1443
01:24:37.320 --> 01:24:41.160
Yeah, yeah. It wasn't that I had bad reception. It was just, you

1444
01:24:41.280 --> 01:24:44.000
know, all the background noise. I didn't want my mic. Oh, is that

1445
01:24:44.000 --> 01:24:46.080
what it was? Sorry, my bad. Yeah, I mean, it was kind of

1446
01:24:46.080 --> 01:24:49.520
busy because of St. Patty's Day. But yeah. Oh, yeah. Happy St.

1447
01:24:49.520 --> 01:24:50.840
Patty's Day, guys.

1448
01:24:52.560 --> 01:24:54.880
Hey, Mike, Mike, I like your shirt. So

1449
01:24:55.760 --> 01:25:00.040
my runner. I wish my roadrunner actually looked like one.

1450
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:01.080
Are these on there here?

1451
01:25:02.640 --> 01:25:03.840
Well, yours, yours, yours.

1452
01:25:04.160 --> 01:25:06.400
1970, 1970 Plymouth.

1453
01:25:08.320 --> 01:25:11.560
Are you like, are you like, like restomod?

1454
01:25:11.560 --> 01:25:12.480
Are you into like,

1455
01:25:14.000 --> 01:25:16.760
like, I'm not like original restoration, like graveyard.

1456
01:25:17.560 --> 01:25:18.200
Heck no.

1457
01:25:18.480 --> 01:25:20.400
I want to enjoy driving a car.

1458
01:25:20.520 --> 01:25:24.920
I don't want technology from the seventies with air vents that are like

1459
01:25:25.160 --> 01:25:29.160
natural AC, like where they open the door, like you open the kick panel and

1460
01:25:29.640 --> 01:25:33.200
air comes in from the fricking the wheel, wheel wells.

1461
01:25:33.280 --> 01:25:35.440
That's, that's, that's the AC for my road runner.

1462
01:25:35.440 --> 01:25:37.880
It's, it's, it's top end, man.

1463
01:25:38.200 --> 01:25:41.800
That's called two 62 windows open at 60 miles an hour.

1464
01:25:45.640 --> 01:25:46.160
Yeah.

1465
01:25:46.360 --> 01:25:47.880
So how are you, David?

1466
01:25:47.960 --> 01:25:48.960
You know, how are things?

1467
01:25:50.080 --> 01:25:50.920
I'm doing good.

1468
01:25:50.920 --> 01:25:56.560
I'm seriously considering like, uh, by local singles group, we had a walk

1469
01:25:56.560 --> 01:25:58.720
in the park and then we went to a restaurant afterwards.

1470
01:25:59.280 --> 01:26:04.080
Um, there's a girl in the group that I really like, but they aren't able to

1471
01:26:04.080 --> 01:26:08.520
come to as many events, so they weren't there, but one of the other women there

1472
01:26:08.520 --> 01:26:11.400
that have been best friends with, and originally found out about the group

1473
01:26:11.440 --> 01:26:15.680
years and years ago, when I first started getting into the group, um, we had a nice,

1474
01:26:15.720 --> 01:26:17.360
like long talk at the end.

1475
01:26:17.960 --> 01:26:21.000
Um, but I mean, she's strictly a friend.

1476
01:26:21.000 --> 01:26:22.200
I see her as a sister.

1477
01:26:22.200 --> 01:26:26.560
Like I, you know, I don't see her romantic at all.

1478
01:26:26.600 --> 01:26:30.760
Like, like early on, she kind of friend zoned me.

1479
01:26:30.760 --> 01:26:35.720
And then for like the past three years, like she's been in my friend zone anyway,

1480
01:26:36.400 --> 01:26:40.240
but it's, it's cool because I realized, I don't know if you're familiar with

1481
01:26:40.240 --> 01:26:45.760
redemptive gifts that, you know, uh, Romans 12, six, seven and eight right in

1482
01:26:45.760 --> 01:26:46.120
there.

1483
01:26:46.320 --> 01:26:48.120
Um, but it's not the manifestation.

1484
01:26:48.120 --> 01:26:52.360
It's not the, it's not the, uh, office gifts, but anyways, she's like

1485
01:26:52.360 --> 01:26:53.560
the same redemptive gift as me.

1486
01:26:53.560 --> 01:26:57.320
So that's probably a good thing that didn't work out because usually when you

1487
01:26:57.320 --> 01:27:01.920
marry, it's usually like, it usually doesn't work out if you're both the same

1488
01:27:01.920 --> 01:27:07.240
redemptive gift, it's kind of like, not necessarily like, I just want to

1489
01:27:07.240 --> 01:27:07.880
challenge that.

1490
01:27:07.920 --> 01:27:08.320
I'm sorry.

1491
01:27:08.320 --> 01:27:14.880
Like I've seen, I've seen that I've seen opposites be blown apart and I've seen

1492
01:27:14.880 --> 01:27:19.160
Sam's work and I've seen it work both direct opposites work and Sam's blown

1493
01:27:19.160 --> 01:27:19.520
apart.

1494
01:27:19.760 --> 01:27:21.880
It really is based on other things.

1495
01:27:22.360 --> 01:27:27.480
How your friendship level, how, how you are, how you guys connect your

1496
01:27:27.480 --> 01:27:28.440
connectivity.

1497
01:27:28.720 --> 01:27:29.760
Giftings are different.

1498
01:27:30.160 --> 01:27:30.560
Right.

1499
01:27:31.040 --> 01:27:33.400
So I just want to challenge that a little bit.

1500
01:27:33.480 --> 01:27:34.120
I mean, yeah.

1501
01:27:34.120 --> 01:27:39.360
I mean like same isn't always the best and you may want something different, but

1502
01:27:39.360 --> 01:27:43.360
like, yeah, I just don't want to throw that baby completely out.

1503
01:27:43.880 --> 01:27:44.320
Here we go.

1504
01:27:44.800 --> 01:27:48.960
Well, I mean, I mean, as far as her, her goes, it's, she's just a friend, but I

1505
01:27:49.000 --> 01:27:52.320
was talking about someone else in the group and, but I found out she's like 14

1506
01:27:52.320 --> 01:27:53.120
years younger than me.

1507
01:27:53.120 --> 01:27:53.800
So I don't know.

1508
01:27:53.800 --> 01:27:58.880
It's like, it's entering the area of, you know, a female would see me as like

1509
01:27:58.880 --> 01:28:00.720
cringe or being a creep, you know?

1510
01:28:02.520 --> 01:28:03.200
And it depends.

1511
01:28:03.240 --> 01:28:06.080
I mean, if she digs you, I mean, I've seen it work both ways.

1512
01:28:06.080 --> 01:28:06.280
Yes.

1513
01:28:06.560 --> 01:28:11.040
It's usually the way, but like, like, you know, like, you know, but there, there's

1514
01:28:11.040 --> 01:28:12.640
other women who are okay with that.

1515
01:28:13.240 --> 01:28:13.520
Right.

1516
01:28:14.200 --> 01:28:20.120
And so, and like, you just, I just keep the door open to what the Lord would have

1517
01:28:20.120 --> 01:28:20.360
for you.

1518
01:28:21.680 --> 01:28:24.320
I'm also looking forward to the event.

1519
01:28:24.320 --> 01:28:27.440
That's in Jersey because it's only 48 miles away from where I'm at.

1520
01:28:27.520 --> 01:28:36.280
So just to be able to hopefully David and Jackie in person, I'll see you.

1521
01:28:37.960 --> 01:28:38.840
Oh, Hunter's going to be there.

1522
01:28:39.840 --> 01:28:40.880
That's me.

1523
01:28:42.200 --> 01:28:43.800
Oh, Hey, Hunter.

1524
01:28:44.200 --> 01:28:44.520
Yeah.

1525
01:28:44.560 --> 01:28:45.480
It'd be good to see you.

1526
01:28:45.600 --> 01:28:47.520
I didn't know if anyone else is in this area.

1527
01:28:47.520 --> 01:28:52.880
I know like most are like central U S and West coast.

1528
01:28:52.880 --> 01:28:57.520
So I don't think I'm an upstate New Yorker and I can't find a lot of

1529
01:28:57.520 --> 01:28:59.000
people in the New York chapter.

1530
01:28:59.480 --> 01:29:01.920
And while there's some people in the New York chapter, they're just

1531
01:29:02.040 --> 01:29:03.600
more than half are in the city.

1532
01:29:04.240 --> 01:29:04.640
I was there.

1533
01:29:05.440 --> 01:29:07.080
No, the event, the events are really cool.

1534
01:29:07.120 --> 01:29:08.480
And Jackie and David are amazing.

1535
01:29:09.200 --> 01:29:09.480
Right.

1536
01:29:09.480 --> 01:29:11.960
You know, so, but no, that's cool.

1537
01:29:12.320 --> 01:29:15.480
And you know, David, I really just, I just applaud that you're, you're

1538
01:29:15.480 --> 01:29:16.680
out there in the singles groups.

1539
01:29:16.680 --> 01:29:19.600
You're out there, you're doing things, you're having combos, right?

1540
01:29:19.600 --> 01:29:23.800
Like, you know, that gives you the best chance of connecting or intersecting.

1541
01:29:24.320 --> 01:29:27.440
Like if you're not, if you're sitting at home, the odds of you meeting somebody

1542
01:29:27.440 --> 01:29:31.560
other than the UPS or the Amazon delivery person, like that's about what you're

1543
01:29:31.560 --> 01:29:38.800
going to get, you know, if that's how you want to roll, teach their own.

1544
01:29:38.800 --> 01:29:40.120
But not, that's not how I want to roll.

1545
01:29:40.760 --> 01:29:43.400
Um, yeah, I'm out quite a bit.

1546
01:29:43.400 --> 01:29:45.720
Cause I mean, I do DoorDash and stuff like that.

1547
01:29:45.720 --> 01:29:51.240
So in the evenings, but you know, all right, well, cool, David, keep it up.

1548
01:29:51.240 --> 01:29:52.800
And may, may you have a great time.

1549
01:29:52.800 --> 01:29:55.680
Maybe you and Hunter have an amazing time at the New York thing.

1550
01:29:56.120 --> 01:29:56.560
Hey, Mr.

1551
01:29:56.560 --> 01:29:57.680
Chris, how are you doing, bud?

1552
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:03.000
It's been pretty well.

1553
01:30:03.000 --> 01:30:04.000
Sweet.

1554
01:30:04.000 --> 01:30:06.000
We haven't talked in a while, so.

1555
01:30:06.000 --> 01:30:07.000
Yeah.

1556
01:30:07.000 --> 01:30:12.880
The people that have been around for a little bit know my story.

1557
01:30:12.880 --> 01:30:21.280
For me, it's more of like a, in my heart, I've always felt that God has said no to everyone

1558
01:30:21.280 --> 01:30:22.280
I've been interested in.

1559
01:30:22.280 --> 01:30:25.640
And so I'm really trying to get to the bottom of that.

1560
01:30:25.640 --> 01:30:34.060
And there's someone, just like another girl that goes to my church, spiritual daughter

1561
01:30:34.060 --> 01:30:40.400
of my pastor who lives just down the street from me, and we dated three years ago.

1562
01:30:40.400 --> 01:30:43.800
And it was kind of like fireworks between us.

1563
01:30:43.800 --> 01:30:45.200
Eventually, it took a while.

1564
01:30:45.200 --> 01:30:47.600
She was not interested for a long time.

1565
01:30:47.600 --> 01:30:52.600
And then I just felt like God was telling me no and freaked out and ran away.

1566
01:30:52.600 --> 01:30:55.960
And I've never been able to get over it, really.

1567
01:30:55.960 --> 01:31:00.040
I've tried to date one other person pretty seriously, but I just haven't been able to

1568
01:31:00.040 --> 01:31:02.040
get over her.

1569
01:31:02.040 --> 01:31:06.800
And so I've been just really asking God, like, okay, God, what's going on?

1570
01:31:06.800 --> 01:31:15.040
And I realized there's no amount of explanation that's going to get to the bottom of this.

1571
01:31:15.600 --> 01:31:22.800
So really, I've kind of set aside the next 30 days to, you know, and I've been setting

1572
01:31:22.800 --> 01:31:23.800
aside time.

1573
01:31:23.800 --> 01:31:27.320
Like I quit a lot of, I quit my side projects.

1574
01:31:27.320 --> 01:31:32.480
But I just decided I'm going even deeper in these next 30 days with God and prayer.

1575
01:31:32.480 --> 01:31:36.440
And you know, like God gives us, he puts his desires in us.

1576
01:31:36.440 --> 01:31:42.400
And when our hearts are aligned with him, we know that, you know, we know that our desires

1577
01:31:42.400 --> 01:31:44.000
are going to be aligned with his.

1578
01:31:44.000 --> 01:31:47.240
So that's, that's where I am the next 30 days.

1579
01:31:47.240 --> 01:31:51.640
I don't know where it came from initially, but somehow I just felt God drop April 18th

1580
01:31:51.640 --> 01:31:53.040
in my heart.

1581
01:31:53.040 --> 01:31:55.240
And turns out it's a good Friday.

1582
01:31:55.240 --> 01:31:58.400
So we'll see what, see what God does.

1583
01:31:58.400 --> 01:32:00.240
But yeah, I got my phone all locked down.

1584
01:32:00.240 --> 01:32:04.800
No social media, no internet access, don't even have Wi-Fi at home.

1585
01:32:04.800 --> 01:32:07.000
So we'll see what God does.

1586
01:32:07.000 --> 01:32:11.600
Well, may he bring you freedom and like, and may it all be clear to you.

1587
01:32:11.600 --> 01:32:15.760
I mean, I've been praying for it, praying into that for you, right?

1588
01:32:15.760 --> 01:32:22.440
So like, you're my prayers, like, you know, I pray for, I pray for most of you guys.

1589
01:32:22.440 --> 01:32:27.200
So like, yeah, I guess, you know, and I want to pray before we go in.

1590
01:32:27.200 --> 01:32:28.200
Is Kenton gone?

1591
01:32:28.200 --> 01:32:29.200
Nope.

1592
01:32:29.200 --> 01:32:30.200
I'm here.

1593
01:32:30.200 --> 01:32:31.200
We're still.

1594
01:32:31.200 --> 01:32:32.200
Oh, sweet.

1595
01:32:32.200 --> 01:32:33.200
Hey, Kenton.

1596
01:32:33.200 --> 01:32:34.200
How are you?

1597
01:32:34.200 --> 01:32:35.200
I'm like, yeah, I was like, hope he didn't go.

1598
01:32:35.200 --> 01:32:36.200
How are you doing?

1599
01:32:36.200 --> 01:32:37.200
I'm not doing bad.

1600
01:32:37.200 --> 01:32:41.080
I'm just, I'd worked this week, unfortunately, up north and it's sort of, I'm going through

1601
01:32:41.560 --> 01:32:45.760
a cleansing, a 90 day cleansing with a wellness center, and that sucks.

1602
01:32:45.760 --> 01:32:46.760
I'm sorry, bro.

1603
01:32:46.760 --> 01:32:47.760
Me too.

1604
01:32:47.760 --> 01:32:48.760
Yeah.

1605
01:32:48.760 --> 01:32:55.400
No, besides that, no, I'm, I'm in sort of a relationship, it's sort of been in a weird

1606
01:32:55.400 --> 01:32:57.440
relationship over the last year and a half.

1607
01:32:57.440 --> 01:33:01.760
It was actually something Lord had asked me to go into, and then it's going to be another

1608
01:33:01.760 --> 01:33:04.800
story for another time because we haven't got enough time to talk about it.

1609
01:33:04.800 --> 01:33:08.040
But the point was, is that God was teaching me two things.

1610
01:33:08.040 --> 01:33:14.360
He wanted me to love her unconditionally because that was never part of my history.

1611
01:33:14.360 --> 01:33:20.760
And to also understand what unconditional love was so that I'd be able to love myself

1612
01:33:20.760 --> 01:33:22.240
unconditionally.

1613
01:33:22.240 --> 01:33:27.080
So it's been a year and a half of, if it was a dating time, I'd want to leave a year and

1614
01:33:27.080 --> 01:33:28.080
a half ago.

1615
01:33:28.080 --> 01:33:29.080
So many words.

1616
01:33:29.080 --> 01:33:34.400
It's, it's one of those relationships that this girl needs so much unconditional love

1617
01:33:34.400 --> 01:33:39.720
because of her history with her ex-husband and her last fiance.

1618
01:33:39.720 --> 01:33:42.600
They just messed her up really bad, especially in the love department.

1619
01:33:42.600 --> 01:33:43.600
She's gorgeous.

1620
01:33:43.600 --> 01:33:48.800
She's a, she's a knock down, you know, dead type of gorgeous woman.

1621
01:33:48.800 --> 01:33:53.480
But because of that, she, her mother was said, you better get married because, and look your

1622
01:33:53.480 --> 01:33:57.560
best at all times because you won't be able to do anything else in life.

1623
01:33:57.560 --> 01:34:00.600
Go figure guys, that a mother would do that to their child.

1624
01:34:00.600 --> 01:34:01.600
That's brutal.

1625
01:34:01.600 --> 01:34:02.600
That is brutal.

1626
01:34:02.600 --> 01:34:07.240
And so she doesn't think she's intelligent and yet she's got her nurse's degree and nothing

1627
01:34:07.240 --> 01:34:08.240
seems to stick.

1628
01:34:08.240 --> 01:34:13.000
No matter how much I pray for her, how much I encourage her, how much I'd love her on

1629
01:34:13.000 --> 01:34:17.960
show her unconditional love because I'm not expecting anything back from her.

1630
01:34:17.960 --> 01:34:20.920
And she just can't believe it's, it's real.

1631
01:34:20.920 --> 01:34:24.200
Number one, but number two, she's confused at all.

1632
01:34:24.200 --> 01:34:26.880
That's why I've got her in the group here at LYS as well.

1633
01:34:26.880 --> 01:34:30.880
She's going through the course so that she can understand now what's going to happen

1634
01:34:30.880 --> 01:34:33.480
in that relationship after it's over.

1635
01:34:33.480 --> 01:34:34.480
My assignment is over.

1636
01:34:34.480 --> 01:34:35.480
I have no idea.

1637
01:34:35.480 --> 01:34:41.200
But I've had to learn how to love her because she was so unlovable in herself.

1638
01:34:41.200 --> 01:34:43.440
And that was, that's a new task for me.

1639
01:34:43.440 --> 01:34:46.880
So for the last year and a half, I've been learning a lot about unconditional love and

1640
01:34:46.880 --> 01:34:52.800
how to be just somebody available to her and love her unconditionally in so many ways.

1641
01:34:52.800 --> 01:34:54.600
And she just, it's blowing out of the water.

1642
01:34:54.600 --> 01:34:58.280
This is the way husbands are supposed to love their wives.

1643
01:34:58.280 --> 01:35:00.080
She never received that whatsoever with her husband.

1644
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:04.100
or her fiance, they're all controllers and manipulators.

1645
01:35:05.160 --> 01:35:07.040
They were just using her in so many words,

1646
01:35:07.040 --> 01:35:09.560
because she is a, what do they call those women?

1647
01:35:09.560 --> 01:35:12.080
A trophy wife?

1648
01:35:12.080 --> 01:35:14.040
Yeah, she is definitely a trophy wife,

1649
01:35:14.040 --> 01:35:15.640
there's no doubt about that.

1650
01:35:15.640 --> 01:35:17.160
But she's got a lot of intelligence,

1651
01:35:17.160 --> 01:35:18.600
she's got a lot about herself,

1652
01:35:18.600 --> 01:35:20.080
and of course that self-esteem

1653
01:35:20.080 --> 01:35:21.740
goes right into the rest of the family.

1654
01:35:21.740 --> 01:35:24.760
So if you guys can remember me to keep that going,

1655
01:35:24.760 --> 01:35:27.080
because I wanted to quit in a year and a half ago,

1656
01:35:27.080 --> 01:35:30.260
as I was saying several hundred times in between.

1657
01:35:31.200 --> 01:35:33.120
But the Lord's teaching me as well too,

1658
01:35:33.120 --> 01:35:35.600
that unconditional love is not only what they need,

1659
01:35:35.600 --> 01:35:39.920
our women, but I need to be able to receive that as well too

1660
01:35:39.920 --> 01:35:43.400
because I'm a giver, I'm always a giver and not a taker.

1661
01:35:43.400 --> 01:35:47.360
And so that's, I've had to learn not to do that.

1662
01:35:47.360 --> 01:35:49.660
It's always harder to do for a people pleaser.

1663
01:35:51.040 --> 01:35:53.920
And well done, Kenton, and you guys,

1664
01:35:53.920 --> 01:35:56.640
you may be in every relationship,

1665
01:35:57.200 --> 01:35:58.840
it may have nothing to do with them being the one,

1666
01:35:58.840 --> 01:36:01.840
but it's something that you need before you meet the one.

1667
01:36:01.840 --> 01:36:04.400
Like he's, you know, like in Kenton,

1668
01:36:04.400 --> 01:36:06.480
like it's really hard to love people unconditionally.

1669
01:36:06.480 --> 01:36:09.380
It's like the agape, it's agape,

1670
01:36:09.380 --> 01:36:13.400
but like it brings you to depths that you would never go.

1671
01:36:13.400 --> 01:36:14.400
And that's what I heard you saying,

1672
01:36:14.400 --> 01:36:16.540
I'm proud of you, bro, that's amazing.

1673
01:36:16.540 --> 01:36:19.440
And you know, Jackie talks about being a kinsman redeemer.

1674
01:36:20.280 --> 01:36:23.480
You know, you guys, I've been in, one of my friends,

1675
01:36:23.480 --> 01:36:25.680
she's like, all your dating relationships

1676
01:36:25.680 --> 01:36:27.080
are super productive.

1677
01:36:27.080 --> 01:36:28.760
I'm like, what do you mean?

1678
01:36:28.760 --> 01:36:30.640
Like, they're all like, she's like,

1679
01:36:30.640 --> 01:36:33.160
well, you really bless everybody that you're in dating.

1680
01:36:33.160 --> 01:36:36.920
And I'm like, yeah, but it's not productive for me.

1681
01:36:36.920 --> 01:36:40.600
Like, you know, like, you know,

1682
01:36:40.600 --> 01:36:43.640
but there was a truth in being like,

1683
01:36:43.640 --> 01:36:46.200
and then we started out talking about

1684
01:36:46.200 --> 01:36:48.040
being the divinely masculine.

1685
01:36:48.040 --> 01:36:52.120
Is love on a woman without her taking.

1686
01:36:52.120 --> 01:36:53.560
That's what men do, right?

1687
01:36:53.560 --> 01:36:55.060
Like loving them there.

1688
01:36:55.060 --> 01:36:59.620
And you know, you guys, so many people marry a woman

1689
01:36:59.620 --> 01:37:01.980
and they put her in a cage because they're afraid.

1690
01:37:01.980 --> 01:37:04.020
And that ends up killing them.

1691
01:37:04.020 --> 01:37:06.220
But if you look like, and control,

1692
01:37:06.220 --> 01:37:07.580
but like marriage is meant to be

1693
01:37:07.580 --> 01:37:10.280
like two birds on a perch, right?

1694
01:37:10.280 --> 01:37:14.240
And it's scary because they have the ability to fly away.

1695
01:37:15.100 --> 01:37:17.540
But like, if you love them well,

1696
01:37:17.540 --> 01:37:19.980
they're never gonna wanna fly away.

1697
01:37:19.980 --> 01:37:22.500
If you put them in a cage, they're gonna want out, right?

1698
01:37:22.500 --> 01:37:25.020
And the beautiful thing is letting you being you,

1699
01:37:25.020 --> 01:37:26.540
you know when I see you guys be you,

1700
01:37:26.540 --> 01:37:30.700
let them be them and love each other well.

1701
01:37:30.700 --> 01:37:32.420
And I know it's over guys.

1702
01:37:32.420 --> 01:37:34.540
And I just wanted to make sure that everybody got,

1703
01:37:34.540 --> 01:37:37.140
does anybody have anything else before I close out?

1704
01:37:37.140 --> 01:37:38.940
I just, I appreciate you all.

1705
01:37:38.940 --> 01:37:40.100
You're amazing.

1706
01:37:40.100 --> 01:37:40.940
And I'm proud of you.

1707
01:37:40.940 --> 01:37:45.060
You guys are, it's a privilege to do life with you guys.

1708
01:37:45.060 --> 01:37:45.900
Amen to that.

1709
01:37:45.900 --> 01:37:48.020
Thank you so much for taking it on tonight, Mike.

1710
01:37:48.020 --> 01:37:49.460
Oh, hey, Chris, you got a hand up?

1711
01:37:49.460 --> 01:37:50.500
Oh, you got Mike.

1712
01:37:50.500 --> 01:37:53.340
Yeah, Mike, could I just, I've been good and quiet tonight.

1713
01:37:53.340 --> 01:37:54.860
I just wanna ask one question.

1714
01:37:55.820 --> 01:38:00.820
Kenton, I like really admire you as a father in the faith.

1715
01:38:01.220 --> 01:38:04.580
And so I don't mean to ask this critically,

1716
01:38:04.580 --> 01:38:06.900
but so I'm gonna ask this question and I'm gonna shut up

1717
01:38:06.900 --> 01:38:09.020
and there's not gonna be any follow-up.

1718
01:38:09.020 --> 01:38:11.840
But in my life, I've tried a couple of times

1719
01:38:11.840 --> 01:38:15.860
to like just love someone in the process.

1720
01:38:15.860 --> 01:38:18.140
I've tried to just be a friend

1721
01:38:18.180 --> 01:38:21.260
and it just seems to keep coming back to biting me.

1722
01:38:21.260 --> 01:38:26.260
Like basically, if I'm not in this for marriage,

1723
01:38:27.000 --> 01:38:29.380
a girl wants me out of her life.

1724
01:38:29.380 --> 01:38:31.180
Like I'm very good at loving,

1725
01:38:31.180 --> 01:38:33.400
I'm very good at loving sacrificially,

1726
01:38:33.400 --> 01:38:37.100
but every time it's tried to kind of be a friend,

1727
01:38:37.100 --> 01:38:40.760
it's always ended up really hurting people.

1728
01:38:40.760 --> 01:38:43.420
I guess I just, have you talked to David about this?

1729
01:38:43.420 --> 01:38:45.020
I guess I'm just really curious,

1730
01:38:45.020 --> 01:38:45.940
but I'm not gonna say anymore.

1731
01:38:45.940 --> 01:38:46.780
So thanks.

1732
01:38:46.820 --> 01:38:49.220
No, it's a great question, Chris.

1733
01:38:49.220 --> 01:38:52.300
And it is very true though.

1734
01:38:52.300 --> 01:38:55.180
Women are looking to be going beyond friendship

1735
01:38:55.180 --> 01:38:57.700
many times, unless you make it very clear

1736
01:38:57.700 --> 01:39:01.700
at the beginning that I'm in a single group at home

1737
01:39:01.700 --> 01:39:03.500
and I made it very clear to each and everyone,

1738
01:39:03.500 --> 01:39:05.300
I'm not here to look for a wife,

1739
01:39:05.300 --> 01:39:08.020
but I'm here to minister to you.

1740
01:39:08.020 --> 01:39:09.820
I make that very clear at the beginning,

1741
01:39:09.820 --> 01:39:11.820
or you can minister to me.

1742
01:39:11.820 --> 01:39:13.900
I'm not here for the dating purposes,

1743
01:39:13.900 --> 01:39:15.560
I just wanna be friends with you.

1744
01:39:15.560 --> 01:39:18.800
So in that context, I put that right up front.

1745
01:39:18.800 --> 01:39:20.400
Those that wanna be friends with me

1746
01:39:20.400 --> 01:39:21.920
will go out and have coffee with me.

1747
01:39:21.920 --> 01:39:26.600
They'll go out and have, in a group or as individual,

1748
01:39:26.600 --> 01:39:28.440
because they know we're not gonna be dating.

1749
01:39:28.440 --> 01:39:30.200
So that's the number one rule I put down

1750
01:39:30.200 --> 01:39:31.560
and they understand that.

1751
01:39:31.560 --> 01:39:33.760
That helps a great deal when they've already put

1752
01:39:33.760 --> 01:39:35.840
the rules down, one might say,

1753
01:39:35.840 --> 01:39:38.320
knowing that's exactly what you want.

1754
01:39:38.320 --> 01:39:41.060
Because there's been a few girls that have asked me

1755
01:39:41.060 --> 01:39:44.520
within LYS to communicate with them,

1756
01:39:44.520 --> 01:39:47.320
but they wanna rush through this whole thing real fast.

1757
01:39:48.400 --> 01:39:50.120
And unfortunately, that doesn't work with me,

1758
01:39:50.120 --> 01:39:52.160
if I don't become a friend with somebody first.

1759
01:39:52.160 --> 01:39:54.040
So I'm hearing what you're saying, Chris,

1760
01:39:54.040 --> 01:39:55.600
totally hearing what you're saying.

1761
01:39:55.600 --> 01:39:57.960
Because we need to be friends and I need to minister

1762
01:39:57.960 --> 01:39:59.880
to be able to minister to her.

1763
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:06.400
as a man, because if she can't receive that, now she won't be able to receive that in marriage

1764
01:40:06.400 --> 01:40:12.720
either. Anything they cannot or will not do before marriage, they will not do it in marriage.

1765
01:40:12.720 --> 01:40:16.640
I've got enough experience under my belt to know that, and I think you do as well, Chris,

1766
01:40:16.640 --> 01:40:21.120
and that's why you're looking for that person you can be a total friend with, to minister to,

1767
01:40:21.120 --> 01:40:26.800
to be ministered to, and have a friendship with. Am I in the right area of that, Chris, right now?

1768
01:40:26.800 --> 01:40:33.840
Oh, so the other thing, you guys, I do, Chris, when I'm talking about all the relationships,

1769
01:40:35.840 --> 01:40:41.280
I carry, for lack of a better term, a father's anointing, which is ironic because of all my

1770
01:40:41.280 --> 01:40:49.040
father things, right? He uses that to help minister to other people, and Kenton, you're so

1771
01:40:49.040 --> 01:40:54.880
right. Boundaries are everything. I mean, I've had so many, it's like, hey, no, I am not here

1772
01:40:56.480 --> 01:41:02.560
for a relationship, and then that sets them free, and I minister to a lot of daughters,

1773
01:41:03.360 --> 01:41:07.920
right? A lot of the king's daughters, and a lot of them have been beat to crap by guys,

1774
01:41:08.560 --> 01:41:15.840
right? Especially the beautiful ones, right? And just to get, and I take that with severe,

1775
01:41:16.800 --> 01:41:25.040
like, I take that as, with reverence and honor, because, like, I don't want to be another person

1776
01:41:25.040 --> 01:41:31.040
in the chain of guys that's crushed them, but I do want to be somebody who loves them well,

1777
01:41:31.040 --> 01:41:37.840
so they actually can experience what a good guy, what good male, like, what the divine masculine is,

1778
01:41:37.840 --> 01:41:41.680
so that when they, all these clowns that they've been, like, entertaining,

1779
01:41:42.640 --> 01:41:47.840
no longer have any value to them, right? And so, and—

1780
01:41:47.840 --> 01:41:52.080
That's a good point, Mike, that I want to bring there into play here. Once they get to see a

1781
01:41:52.080 --> 01:41:59.600
godly man who's secure in himself, who loves God, who's able to pray to, as the Bible says,

1782
01:41:59.600 --> 01:42:04.720
to wash our wives, to take the Word and speak it over them, study it together,

1783
01:42:05.600 --> 01:42:11.280
it's hard to beat that, because now it's a high bar that you place in life, but it's a high bar

1784
01:42:11.280 --> 01:42:16.480
that they needed to see. Now they know what it looks like, what it feels like, especially the

1785
01:42:16.480 --> 01:42:21.440
feelings, because they're feelers, and what to expect, because that is what they should be

1786
01:42:21.440 --> 01:42:27.600
expecting, so it's like feeling, you know, I said it before, the bank tellers are never given phony

1787
01:42:27.600 --> 01:42:33.360
money. They're only allowed to touch real money, so when the phony one comes across, they can

1788
01:42:33.360 --> 01:42:37.760
immediately feel it. The same with the girls. They can immediately feel right away that,

1789
01:42:37.760 --> 01:42:41.920
no, this is not a godly guy. He's not a chancellor. I mean, he doesn't pray with me. He

1790
01:42:41.920 --> 01:42:48.400
doesn't, you know, he's not a gentleman. He tells me more about himself than asking the right

1791
01:42:48.400 --> 01:42:52.880
questions about me. Oh, yeah, I could write a whole book on that one, so I hear what you're

1792
01:42:52.880 --> 01:42:57.760
saying, Mike, and usually in the end, I'm dealing with a lot of women that are broken and part of

1793
01:42:57.760 --> 01:43:06.000
it, so the woman I'm seeing now, she is more of a project. I hate to say that word, but she is more

1794
01:43:06.000 --> 01:43:10.320
of a project, but she's learning that whole thing, but I've had to learn, again, I'm going to say

1795
01:43:10.320 --> 01:43:17.200
this, gentlemen, I had to learn how to love her, because she was not a girl that I would take out

1796
01:43:17.200 --> 01:43:23.280
on a date, because I am a total athlete. She's not. She's a little overweight, too, but she's

1797
01:43:23.280 --> 01:43:29.040
dynamite looker, and she's, anyway. And I guess the reason why I say that, you guys, is like

1798
01:43:30.240 --> 01:43:35.040
I never look for it, honestly, and I just end up happening, and I realize that the Lord is

1799
01:43:35.040 --> 01:43:39.520
using me to help, but that's not all. Not all you guys may have that calling. I mean, Kenton and I,

1800
01:43:39.520 --> 01:43:43.600
that's why Kenton and I have a lot in common, is because we do a lot of stuff, and I'm like, Lord,

1801
01:43:43.600 --> 01:43:48.400
I really don't want to minister any more ladies. I just want to marry one, so can we work on that,

1802
01:43:48.400 --> 01:43:55.600
because, you know, but at the same time, like, I just, but I have learned, like, when you can be,

1803
01:43:56.320 --> 01:44:02.160
love somebody without asking stuff, it teaches, it's been a double blessing to me. Have I had to

1804
01:44:02.160 --> 01:44:06.880
grow? You bet you. Do I have to have good boundaries? There's some people, ladies who

1805
01:44:06.880 --> 01:44:13.360
are very promiscuous, and I really be very, I'm very careful with that, because, you know, and like,

1806
01:44:13.360 --> 01:44:17.600
and so I just, just to have good boundaries, but I want to pray us out, because we're way over, and

1807
01:44:18.320 --> 01:44:23.280
I hope it was all right. I just wanted to give everybody the floor, and love, and make everybody

1808
01:44:23.280 --> 01:44:28.640
be heard. So, Lord Jesus, I just thank you for all these mighty men of valor. Lord, I just pray that

1809
01:44:28.640 --> 01:44:33.840
you help us to be the men that you call us to be, that we will be founded in our identity. Lord,

1810
01:44:33.840 --> 01:44:39.200
that you would give us clear vision of what, in our relationships, and that we would love women

1811
01:44:39.200 --> 01:44:44.480
well, whether they're become our brides or not, but Lord, that we, that every person that we

1812
01:44:44.480 --> 01:44:50.400
interact with on a date or otherwise would leave better. We would reset the bar for what the men

1813
01:44:50.400 --> 01:44:55.520
in their lives, and we'd set it high so that they could actually thrive, but Lord, I just pray for

1814
01:44:55.520 --> 01:44:59.840
each man that you would meet them, and wrap them in your love, and that you would encourage their

1815
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:02.680
hearts and our minds. And Lord, would you bring adventures into

1816
01:45:02.680 --> 01:45:06.920
our like good adventures, adventures into our lives? Well,

1817
01:45:06.920 --> 01:45:10.160
I love that. We love we love you and love that all that you're

1818
01:45:10.160 --> 01:45:13.680
doing. Thank you for these mighty men. And I just pray that

1819
01:45:14.000 --> 01:45:18.640
joy and fun would come to their houses. And they would find

1820
01:45:18.640 --> 01:45:22.440
their spouses in Jesus name. Amen. Love you guys. Have a

1821
01:45:22.440 --> 01:45:24.280
blessed week. Right?

1822
01:45:24.280 --> 01:45:30.440
See you later.