WEBVTT

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All right. Well, welcome, ladies. This is your Phase 2 1 o'clock lat check-in call on

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April 1st. I'm curious, has anybody gotten April Fool's yet? Anybody? Y'all, I got April

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Fool's today. And I'm like, I never get April Fool's. But one of the baseball moms sent

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me and a few of the moms a message that her son was getting moved permanently on a different

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team in our club. And I was like, what? And she's like, April Fool's. I'm like, how did

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I fall for that? I was like, I never, I, it was, it was beyond me. Anyway, I'm going off

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on a sidetrack here. So anyway, welcome, welcome, welcome. I see some, some more new faces jumping

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in. So good. All right. How many of you are new? I know Allison and Leslie are fairly

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new. Allison, this is her first time to the 1 o'clock. I got Ruth and Mary. You are new

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to Phase 2 as well. Lulu, I remember you from last week. I got Stephanie here and Stacey.

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I remember you all. Heather. Hi. How are you? I do not recognize you. Have you been on my

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1 o'clock call or do you typically go to the Ebeneez? I'm new and I listened in for part

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of last week's because I got time. So I was mixed up because I'm traveling. I'm changing

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planes right now. But yes, I feel you on that. I'm glad to, I'm glad to have you here. So

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good to see you. And my gate agent, April Fool's, as I was about to board, he said, I'm sorry,

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you're at the wrong airport. You're supposed to be here. And I was like, what? Oh my word.

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I would have had a heart attack. What? Wow. That's that's funny. That is funny, though.

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At least he didn't like have you going for a really long time. Really? You know? All

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right. OK, well, ladies, I am I apologize. I am in a hotel room, so there is just funky

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noises. My lighting is off, so I'm going to make do and make the best of it. OK, but

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for those of you ladies that are new, welcome. So just I usually do just like five, 10 minutes

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of some housekeeping items, and then we are going to talk a little bit about the activation

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from last week, what I'm going to have you ladies activate for this week. And then I'm

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going to just touch on a couple of things that I've seen in the in the app. And then

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I'm going to open the floor for you all to ask your questions. And then we will finish

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up about 15 minutes past the hour. OK, so we are going to move things along as quickly

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as we can, but getting all the good info, all the good detail that we possibly can.

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OK, so ladies, just remember. So we have a lot of you that are brand new. I just want

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to give you a reminder that, you know, this is a phase for you to receive. When you come

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into phase two, you've come into heart, come out of heart work. And so we still want you

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to be in this posture of receiving. So we want you engaging in the community and engaging

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with each other. But we are going to ask that you like take your advice, giving in your

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coaching hat off. And then leave that to us. OK, I know for some of us that are teachers

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or mothers or counselors, therapists, all that kind of stuff. It's just natural for

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us to want to advice give. So let's just do our best to refrain from doing that, especially

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under anybody's post. That is an ask a coach. We actually missed somebody's response earlier

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this week because someone else that wasn't a coach responded. And so there was just some

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miscommunication because myself and Ebony are the ones that are coming in and responding

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to you ladies. And so oftentimes if we see a comment, we're going to think it's the other

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coach that comments, especially under the ask the coach tab. So if that was your post,

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I apologize that we did not get to you. If you are on the call and want us to want to

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ask your question today, I definitely want to make sure that I leave time for whoever

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that was. OK, I also want to remind you ladies to refrain from creating post promoting, linking

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any to any anybody else like any other speakers, influencers, pastors, sermons, ministries,

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coaches and anything of that nature. We just don't have the capacity to vet out their library

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of work on whoever it is that you're kind of posting about. But we want to make sure

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lines with what we teach here at Last Year Single, so just don't create posts, don't comment on

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anybody's posts with anything that would link to any other ministries, pastors, sermons, and speakers

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and such, okay? If you want to, yeah, let's just, let's just leave it there, okay? Also, if you know

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that you want to ask a question today, go ahead and put your hand up for me now so I can see

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how many questions we got for the day. Nobody? All right, yes, I knew I had some. Okay,

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good, good, good. Okay, so I'm just going to remind you ladies that have your hands up,

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we are going to, we are going to make sure that we're doing our questions that are short,

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brief, and powerful, so if it helps, you can go ahead and just type your question now in the

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comments so that you can kind of get your mindset to, okay, I got to be short, brief, and powerful,

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this is what my question is, okay? We just can't have the five-minute backstory because if you're

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spending five minutes giving us the backstory, asking your question, and I'm spending a couple

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minutes on that, and we only really have time for maybe like 40 to 50 minutes of asking questions,

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it really only limits us for how many people can go, so we want to make sure that we cover as many

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people that have questions as possible. If we don't get to you, if I don't get to your question,

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just know that you can put your question in the app, and we will get to your responses that way,

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okay? And make sure that you do it under the Ask a Coach. All right, I think that's it for,

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oh, one last thing about asking questions. Sometimes I know it's easy to have like more

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than one question, let's work on just asking one first, and then if there's time at the end,

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after everybody's asked a question that's wanted to ask, then we'll come and circle

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back around to that second question, okay? And then just a few more things. Ladies, just make

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sure, especially since I got a lot of new ladies here, make sure that you're checking all the tabs

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in the app. There's the coursework tab, which has got the five videos, so you want to make sure

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you're watching only one of those a week, processing through it, commenting in the app,

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letting us know what you're gleaning from that, what is Holy Spirit highlighting to you

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on that coursework. There's a replay tab, so that will be our coaching call, so our one o'clock call

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is always the one that goes into replay, unless there's a glitch or something like that and we

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can't post it. And then our supernatural Saturdays are posted, and then we typically have about one,

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I think it's usually like one Sunday activation that gets put in replay as well. So that's where

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if you can't make it live, which I highly suggest you come to these live if you can,

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put it in your schedule, but if something comes up and you can't, it's most certainly okay for you

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to watch the replay. I actually encourage you to watch the replay, especially for those ladies

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that go to the eight o'clock one, and make sure that you also watch the replay for the one o'clock,

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okay? So yeah, make sure you're checking all the tabs, you're doing the coursework videos,

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you're watching the replays, and I think that covers our housekeeping for the day.

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All right, so I got four questions still. Again, if you think of a question,

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go ahead and put your hand up, your little avatar hand up, and that just lets me know.

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Okay, so I'm curious. We're going to take a few minutes here, like five minutes. How many of you

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did the activation last week and the week before? I know I had a few people post it.

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So does anybody want to unmute and kind of share like what you experienced? So those that are new,

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this is your first week here. I gave the ladies the last two weeks in activation

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to be practicing making eye contact with men, smiling at them, asking them for help,

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trying to have small talk, if it aligns that you can have some small talk. And this doesn't have

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to be men that you're interested in or attracted to, just all men in general. Practice making that

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eye contact and smiling. So does anybody want to unmute and share their experience? Or unmute and

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share with me like what is leading you to have hesitation with it? Anybody?

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We got some quiet, quiet ladies today.

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I'll say something.

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Yeah, thank you.

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I feel really comfortable, like giving eye contact and smiling at guys that I'm not interested

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at all.

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But when it comes to a guy that I think is attractive or whatever, it's like, I don't

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know what that's about.

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Yeah, no, but just start practicing it and just notice it, recognize it and see how it

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works.

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Like, I love that you're still making eye contact with people, like with men, even if

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you're not attracted to them.

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So that's a good sign.

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Like, you know, you can make eye contact with them.

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That's good.

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But yeah, sometimes it can be a little intimidating, especially if we like, like, like we think

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they're cute.

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Like, oh my, I mean, I know in my head, I'm like, you know, before I got married, I'm

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like, oh my gosh, like, do I have something on my face?

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Like, do I have something in my teeth?

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Are they going to think I'm a total weirdo?

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Like, and once you really practice that, like, eventually you kind of can narrow down like,

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okay, like, you know, it doesn't hurt.

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Like I can still smile at it at an attractive guy in the world.

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Like I'm not going to fall off the face of the earth, right?

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I'll share something, Carla.

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Yes.

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Lynn, what's up?

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How are you?

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So this is, I'm new in the community and absolutely loving all of this that you guys have available

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for us.

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So I'm so excited to be here, but I have not, I'm still trying to figure out how to meet

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guys.

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So I'm stuck in my shop.

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I own a retail store and I'm here 10 to 6, 6 days a week.

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So I'm trying to figure out how to meet people.

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That's what I'm hoping to learn, you know, as I continue on.

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But I will tell a little story.

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The last guy that I dated, we met in a networking group and he was, it was his first time coming.

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And apparently when I was introducing myself to him, he has told me later, he's like, when

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you shook my hand, you looked me straight in the eye and he said, it just left something.

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So it really, there really is something about that.

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He actually pursued me hard.

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So it must've left an impression.

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So I guess looking in the eye really does resonate with them and to the point where

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he actually made a point of saying that to me.

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So I thought that was kind of cool.

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Oh, I love that.

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Yeah.

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Like just practicing that you'll be surprised.

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Like guys will light up, especially if you start asking for help and things like that

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of that nature.

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It really, really does, does work.

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But Len, thank you so much.

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So glad to have you here and, and yeah, would you spend some time in this space?

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We'll, we'll help coach you through on how to, to meet some guys.

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Even as a shop owner, like when you're talking to customers that are coming in, just making

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small talk with people, which I'm sure you probably do.

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Like it sounds like when, when you work in that kind of industry and that business, like

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you're, you're used to having conversation with people and you'll be surprised.

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Like when you just start talking about even this program and being single, you will never

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know like who you'll meet that's connected to your spirit mate.

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Like I'm here in Vegas this week and I was down in a meeting and talking with someone

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and they were asking me like what I do.

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And I was sharing about this community and they're like, Oh wow, I need your contact

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information.

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Like you just never know who you're going to meet.

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A few weeks ago I was down in Austin, met up with Jackie and David and my husband and

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we, Jackie and I were in a shop and some woman was like chatting with her, making small talk.

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And even there, like Jackie's telling this lady what she does and she's like, Oh my friend,

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my friend, like, Hey, come over here.

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This, this lady's a matchmaker.

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And like Jackie was able to just share this community.

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You just never know who you're going to meet.

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And then we encourage even the online dating.

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And I know that a lot of people are like, Oh, online dating is not fun.

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I've done it before.

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It didn't work.

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Ladies.

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I was the same way.

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I did the whole online dating before this program, but I stepped out of my comfort zone

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and got back into online dating, but I was doing it way differently because I had new

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information and I had a community of sisters to support me.

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I had, um, at the time it was much smaller.

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So I, we had Jackie doing more of the coaching and stuff.

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So she was able to, you know, bring, you know, highlight things that were like, Oh, here,

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try this, do this and that nature, which that's what we, what we do here in phase two is we're

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here to kind of help you navigate all of those dating situations and circumstances.

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Okay.

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So I'm glad you ladies continue to keep.

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practicing making eye contact um this week though what I want you to do I don't know if any of you

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noticed I got some flashy earrings on this is not just because I'm in Vegas and Vegas is flashy

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all right but these are actually the earrings that I wore on my wedding day all right and cool

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story is I got these when I bought my wedding dress and I was actually in Austin at a last

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year single retreat wasn't called last year single then but it was a community and we went bridal

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dress shopping and I ended up buying my wedding dress before I even met my husband like I bought

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it in May of 2021 I didn't meet my husband until November of 2022 we got married September of 23

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and it was the dress I wore and these earrings these earrings was actually a gift from the

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bridal um store boutique um owner and so that's when I wore the reason I'm wearing these is

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because my activation for you ladies this week is to start stepping into the bride that you

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are and I want you ladies to start shopping for your weddings

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like go have some fun it does you don't you don't have to go make the big purchase like I did with

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the wedding dress now if you feel holy spirit like prompting you and there's something that's

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stirring in you go try on dresses and if you find it and you feel like this is it buy it you don't

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have to know who your husband is you just have to know that God's called you to be a bride

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and you're gonna get to wear it

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so do the wedding dress shopping if you want go try on some dresses maybe it's just some of the

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decor like maybe you have this vision of what your wedding is going to look like ladies start

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making a pinterest board of all the inspo like inspirational like decor stuff start looking at

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rings go to a jewelry store try on some rings all right buy some decor for it maybe um like one of

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the things or like a cake topper or something like just go have fun with it okay and start

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visioning yourself as the bride okay and what I want to see is I want to see you ladies posting

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pictures in the app okay let us see what shopping you've done and let's if you buy maybe a fun set

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of earrings that you're like this is what I'm going to wear on my wedding day come come to the

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live call next week with your earrings just like I did okay all right sound like a fun activation

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everyone good give me thumbs up we're good awesome okay I can't wait to see all those pictures

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okay so um a couple things before we start taking questions ladies I just want to remind you

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that as you're stepping into this phase whether you're dating or not or like even just entertaining

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dating you come out of heart work and so this phase is all about like discovery dating yes

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but it's also about how to just have healthy relationships in general so whether it's in dating

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or with your family with your kids with your co-workers with your friends okay that's what

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this phase is all about is now you get to practice the heart work with relationship okay

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what I want to emphasize and I really really like I see this happen month after month in this phase

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is that we can easily find ourselves starting to pick things apart in others whether it's

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guys that we're dating or certain people that we're having to deal with I really want to press

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you ladies to start looking at people as to how God wants you to like what start looking at how

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God searches the heart and people this will serve you so well especially as you get once you step

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into dating start looking at the heart in the men that you're dating not all the little things that

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you just don't know you like maybe it's you know how like how they dress y'all my husband

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is not a great dresser and he's out of he's out of the room now I tell him this all the time I

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even actually show him

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this with him but he's not he like he wore flip-flops cargo shorts and hoodies

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in the middle of winter like granted we're in Texas but y'all gets cold in

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Texas in the wintertime okay I was I was living in Florida we don't get these

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below freezing temperatures like you can in Texas and it drove me crazy now if I

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took that and nitpicked in the very early stages of dating like I wouldn't

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be married to this amazing wonderful like divine masculine man that God

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blessed me with and the cool thing is as his wife I get a help and pick his

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clothes so he no longer has those flip like he has the flip-flops but he does

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not wear them he wears these like super sexy like tennis shoes so that like I'm

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like yes for a year and a half into marriage and I got him to finally stop

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wearing those flip-flops right no more cargo shorts he does wear some like

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athletic shorts and stuff but like we have two boys that are in baseball so

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that's kind of just I think a look now but he's got even some nicer shorts

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nicer pairs of jeans like y'all don't get so nitpicky at some of that stuff

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really search the heart okay the enemy's gonna want to distract you with all

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those other little things that are really not that big of a deal right away

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okay sometimes the men need their wives to help them in certain areas to help

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them grow in certain areas okay so just remember that okay and then all right

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the other thing I want to talk on is Natalie I don't think Natalie was going

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to be able to jump on but I wanted to cover one of her questions Natalie if

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you're here can you let me know I don't see her

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okay

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okay I don't think she's here all right so I'm just gonna read her post and I

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think it's gonna be really helpful for a lot of you ladies because I see this

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kind of thing come up frequently through the through the years so she said she's

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currently talking to a man who's pursuing his master's in theological I

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can't talk today's studies and guest speaks at Calvary Chapel it's been

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wonderful sharing in the Word of God and also being mindful of spiritual

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boundaries I know he's intentional but I'm feeling a bit of pressure because he

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sees dating differently as in one person at a time okay so for you new ladies we

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we coach you haven't already watched dating 101 we coach you to not just

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focus on one person in the discovery dating process so she's saying like I

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know we've discussed this before in terms of not being players but rather

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being intentional and not putting our eggs in one basket as we get to know

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others to make sure they're a good match I don't think I don't think that I

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should feel guilty seeing more than one person I'm trying to find the wording to

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help him understand the difference that I'm still intentionally dating for

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discovery so ladies I this was definitely something that was a struggle

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for me at first and there's a reason why we coach this way because again in phase

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two we're doing the discovery dating all right we have the levels of

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relationship which are one two three is exclusive four is engagement five is

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marriage so in phase two we're gonna spend a lot of time in that level one

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level two relationship level two is that get to know you that's where you've had

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a video date or an in-person date and you are getting to know them as in are

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they fun to be with do we have some things in common are they do they make

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me laugh like do I enjoy spending time with this person okay the way that I can

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best describe it and help paint this picture is we all have girlfriends right

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like we have best friends girls that we like call hang out with okay how many of

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you just show a hand have more than one friend

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right would it be weird if your friends were like no sorry

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but you can't have more than one friend,

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I'm your only friend.

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Like no, you can have multiple friends.

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So there's nothing wrong with

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as you're getting to know someone,

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because here's the thing,

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when you're meeting new girlfriends,

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like you decided to join an exercise group or something,

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and there's some new faces,

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and you click with someone,

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and you're like, this lady is super cool.

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Like I wanna go have coffee with her,

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I wanna find out her story.

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Are your other friends gonna be weirded out

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that you're like going and having coffee

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with another friend?

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It's not like you're saying,

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oh, I have this new friend,

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like I have not even gotten to know this person,

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but I plan a cross country trip

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with this person that I've never met before.

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Like now obviously you're not gonna do that, right?

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But your friends are not gonna be weird

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that you're going and having coffee with a new person.

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So that's kind of like this level two

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getting to know you when you're dating guys

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is as long as you're not doing anything

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like you're crossing physical boundaries,

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you're still just getting to know somebody.

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So if Natalie is watching the replay,

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one thing I asked her was,

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has she asked him to explain why he believes

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you should only date one person at a time?

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So she was sitting here thinking,

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okay, how do I best explain this to him?

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Sometimes we need to get more information from them.

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I wanna encourage you ladies

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that when you kind of find yourself in these roadblocks,

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don't be afraid to ask men more questions

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and find out more details.

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So that's what I would encourage,

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start there because if the man is like,

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I don't think it's right to date more than one person

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because I don't wanna be kissing more than one person.

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Oh, okay, I can understand

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why you don't wanna date more than one person.

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I'm actually not interested in kissing

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until I'm exclusive with someone.

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And I'm not gonna be comfortable

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getting exclusive with someone

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until I've spent some time getting to know them.

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So do you see how sometimes if you ask a question

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and you get more detail,

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it will help you kind of navigate

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how to explain your own boundary.

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So we ask you ladies to have some of those boundaries,

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like get to know a couple men.

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You never know, like one guy

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that you don't think is like a top contender

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can just rise to the top.

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And the guy that you were like,

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ooh, I thought this guy was it,

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something can happen and he can kind of fall off.

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But you're not putting all your eggs in one basket.

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When something doesn't work out that you're hopeful for,

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you're not gonna be tore up from the floor

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because you only were focusing on one person.

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Does that make sense?

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Okay, I see some head nods.

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Okay, good, good, good.

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All right, so we've got about 45 minutes to take questions.

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I've got Michelle.

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You are here.

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Did you want to jump in

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and you want us to talk about the pattern that you're seeing

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or do you wanna wait for another time?

349
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What are you comfortable with?

350
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Yeah, I think, you know,

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cause I'm used to how you guys say,

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when did that first start happening?

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You know what I mean?

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And so I kind of did that to myself

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and I thought, oh, okay.

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And I'm seeing like this one area

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where it started happening

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and it's basically,

359
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I'll just give everybody just real quick,

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just like I'm getting ghosted

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or I'm getting friend zoned or, you know, so yeah.

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So I have,

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the Lord has shown me at least one route

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of where it's coming from.

365
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I think there's more

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because usually this stuff goes back to your childhood.

367
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So I am remembering one, you know,

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season in my life where this was happening quite a bit.

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So probably just more discovery time with the Lord

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and trying to work through,

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it's a revealing for healing, so.

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Yeah, that's good.

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Yeah, and ladies, and then I think, Michelle,

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I even shared on your post before,

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like when you look at it as Holy ghosting,

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like it really is, sometimes it's God protection.

377
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I know I did that a lot.

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I was like, okay, Lord,

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like I did not have a lot of confidence in myself

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in the very beginning of being able to make sure

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that I was liking and picking the right people.

382
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I was easily blinded.

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And so I didn't have a lot of confidence.

384
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And so my, one of my prayers was like, okay, Lord,

385
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help me.

386
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in this area. If I am going down a path, remove them." And supernaturally, guys would just

387
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fall off. I even remember having a conversation with someone, and his beliefs were not in

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alignment to mine. And he got off that phone so quickly, and I was puzzled at first. And

389
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then the Lord was revealing to me, he's not a lover of Jesus. He's got some cult-like

390
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background. And I'm like, whoa, okay, cool. Glad he was removed. And so that holy ghosting

391
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protection is legit, like a real thing. But to your point, you're seeing a pattern. So

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that's why I think just, again, assessing what, when you're on dates, I think you said

393
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you had dates with one guy, like you had three dates. And just kind of walking through

394
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what was the conversation like? Were you passing friend vibes? And just assessing that a little

395
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more and asking God to kind of highlight and reveal to you. And then when you get into

396
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another dating situation, just being mindful to practice and do things a little differently

397
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as he reveals that to you. But know that we're here for you. Anytime you have any questions,

398
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feel free, and we can help you navigate and break that down for you.

399
00:31:32.120 --> 00:31:34.200
Oh, thank you. I appreciate that.

400
00:31:34.200 --> 00:31:39.360
You are welcome. All right. I think that was it. I don't see Lauren Witt. I know I had

401
00:31:39.360 --> 00:31:45.720
asked her to come. I don't see her at the moment. And then we've covered Natalie. Okay.

402
00:31:46.120 --> 00:31:51.520
Cool, cool, cool. Awesome. Well, Liz, or actually, Liz, I'm going to take Heather first because

403
00:31:51.520 --> 00:31:56.800
she's on a plane. And I want to make sure I get to her question. And then I will go

404
00:31:56.800 --> 00:32:06.080
Liz, Jennifer, Stephanie, Lolita, Lulu, and Melissa. Okay, I'm going to write those down

405
00:32:06.080 --> 00:32:07.520
too. So, Heather, what you got?

406
00:32:11.040 --> 00:32:13.840
I'm on a plane. So I did write it in the chat. So

407
00:32:15.720 --> 00:32:17.240
Do you want me to go look there first?

408
00:32:17.240 --> 00:32:17.800
I think so.

409
00:32:20.840 --> 00:32:21.800
I will do that.

410
00:32:24.040 --> 00:32:29.640
And I see some people put their hands down. If I called you and I forgot to write everything

411
00:32:29.640 --> 00:32:34.920
down. So it's kind of fuzzled. So if you still have a question and you put your hand down,

412
00:32:34.920 --> 00:32:41.800
please put it back up. Okay. I am looking for Heather's question. Okay, good.

413
00:32:42.760 --> 00:32:47.800
And then Liz, I see your question for the heart check in for eight o'clock. So we can

414
00:32:47.800 --> 00:32:52.200
cover that in a minute. Okay. So Heather's asking, have chatted and now did a FaceTime

415
00:32:52.200 --> 00:32:59.560
with someone from online. I'm second week, but watch the online 101 because I connected

416
00:32:59.560 --> 00:33:05.960
with him in January and then didn't reconnect until after week five of heart work. Okay.

417
00:33:05.960 --> 00:33:10.200
Question, there wasn't any advice about how meeting someone long distance for the first

418
00:33:11.000 --> 00:33:18.920
time. I'm thinking mid April, I would travel and stay with a friend, but I don't know how

419
00:33:18.920 --> 00:33:24.200
to do this. Did I plan for three day, possibly two dates? Is there a resource for meeting

420
00:33:24.200 --> 00:33:30.760
someone out of town? Okay. This is good. So I actually, I also, my husband and I were

421
00:33:30.760 --> 00:33:37.160
long distance dating when we met. I was living in Florida. He was in Texas. What we coach

422
00:33:37.160 --> 00:33:41.800
in last year single, when y'all are meeting people that's long distance, we really do

423
00:33:41.800 --> 00:33:46.920
advise you ladies to meet them in person within six weeks of connecting with them.

424
00:33:48.040 --> 00:33:55.480
Stephanie, I saw your eyes go up. There's a reason for this. Okay. So because, because

425
00:33:55.480 --> 00:34:01.240
of long distance, you're going to have a lot, probably a lot more exchanges. And there can

426
00:34:01.240 --> 00:34:07.800
be some emotional connections there. You can kind of sometimes even get into more getting to know

427
00:34:07.800 --> 00:34:13.400
you questions before meeting them in person. And so what can happen is you can create this

428
00:34:13.400 --> 00:34:23.239
emotional bond with a guy and then you meet them in person and it's just not there. And so it can

429
00:34:23.239 --> 00:34:29.800
get just really mucky. And so we say at least six weeks in, because by then it's like, okay,

430
00:34:30.199 --> 00:34:35.800
you probably have spent six weeks of really getting to know them. So then by then, like,

431
00:34:35.800 --> 00:34:39.000
at least this way, you're not talking to someone for three or four months,

432
00:34:40.280 --> 00:34:46.040
getting invested in them and then meeting them in person and realizing this isn't a match at all.

433
00:34:47.159 --> 00:34:51.320
So that's why we say six weeks in, but now to your question, Heather,

434
00:34:51.320 --> 00:34:59.480
um, I think staying with friend for sure, or

435
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.500
getting an Airbnb or what have you. Okay, we definitely do not

436
00:35:04.500 --> 00:35:07.800
encourage any of you ladies, even if it's not long distance,

437
00:35:08.120 --> 00:35:13.440
to be going to someone's house, like that you just met, and

438
00:35:13.440 --> 00:35:17.480
staying with them, even if it's like, oh, I have a spare

439
00:35:17.480 --> 00:35:24.680
bedroom. No. Okay. Now, I've seen some cases in our community

440
00:35:24.960 --> 00:35:35.000
where they have stayed with family of the person or church

441
00:35:35.000 --> 00:35:42.360
members of the person. Okay. But I am an advocate for I will stay

442
00:35:42.360 --> 00:35:49.680
in my own hotel or what have you. I also like to see the men

443
00:35:49.680 --> 00:35:59.360
travel to the ladies. If that's possible. I also if you're the

444
00:35:59.360 --> 00:36:03.880
one traveling, I'd like to see the man offer to help with the

445
00:36:03.880 --> 00:36:10.840
expenses. That is something that we encourage as well. Now, one

446
00:36:10.840 --> 00:36:12.880
thing again, because we're talking to everybody in the

447
00:36:12.880 --> 00:36:16.400
community that's watching and replay, ladies, if you do not

448
00:36:16.400 --> 00:36:21.520
have the means to travel, then you really need to ask yourself

449
00:36:21.520 --> 00:36:25.560
if long distance dating is an option for you. Because if

450
00:36:25.560 --> 00:36:28.040
you're going to date long distance, you're going to need

451
00:36:28.040 --> 00:36:33.240
to invest getting to know someone in real life. That's so

452
00:36:33.240 --> 00:36:36.960
important. So I can give you an example, like my husband and I,

453
00:36:37.200 --> 00:36:41.720
he worked remotely in Texas, but his company was based in

454
00:36:41.720 --> 00:36:46.960
Florida. And so it it worked to our benefit because his company

455
00:36:46.960 --> 00:36:51.840
would pay for his travel. And so he didn't we didn't have to fuss

456
00:36:51.840 --> 00:36:56.480
with air flight, or airline and hotel costs and things like that

457
00:36:56.480 --> 00:37:01.160
that was already covered for him. Now, there were times that I

458
00:37:01.160 --> 00:37:06.080
would go fly out there. Because after we had spent some time

459
00:37:06.080 --> 00:37:08.160
really getting to know each other, we were dating for a

460
00:37:08.160 --> 00:37:13.960
while, when the topic of marriage came up, it was for me

461
00:37:13.960 --> 00:37:17.240
to move there. And so I needed to put myself in that

462
00:37:17.240 --> 00:37:21.200
surrounding to know what that looked like. And so I would

463
00:37:21.200 --> 00:37:25.000
travel there, but my husband would help cover those costs. I

464
00:37:25.000 --> 00:37:28.640
think there was one time I probably covered the cost of one

465
00:37:28.640 --> 00:37:33.200
of my flights. But by that point, we were already in a

466
00:37:33.200 --> 00:37:36.520
marriage minded relationship, we were already discussing what

467
00:37:36.520 --> 00:37:39.400
marriage would look like. So we really started kind of merging

468
00:37:39.400 --> 00:37:44.240
finances in that way, like we kind of saw it like, if I needed

469
00:37:44.360 --> 00:37:48.120
some like, hey, I've got this bill to cover, and I paid for

470
00:37:48.120 --> 00:37:51.200
the flight. And can you can you spot like, we were able to do

471
00:37:51.200 --> 00:37:54.520
that? Okay, but that's going to be different for everybody. But

472
00:37:54.520 --> 00:37:59.840
again, to your question, we want to see men coming to you, we

473
00:37:59.840 --> 00:38:04.440
want to see them offering to pay at least something now we don't

474
00:38:04.440 --> 00:38:07.560
know every man's situation, financial situation. And if you

475
00:38:07.560 --> 00:38:10.800
can't cover, that's fine. But again, these are all things like

476
00:38:10.840 --> 00:38:15.360
as you walk through the process, just keeping us informed, we can

477
00:38:15.360 --> 00:38:19.000
walk you through that. So I hope that helps you with your

478
00:38:19.000 --> 00:38:22.280
question. Is there anything that I left out that I didn't cover

479
00:38:22.280 --> 00:38:30.840
that you want more insight on? I know, you know, just give me a

480
00:38:30.840 --> 00:38:34.240
thumbs up or like, hold on, I got to like write something.

481
00:38:35.760 --> 00:38:40.560
Okay, so I will look in the chat then. Sounds good. Okay. As

482
00:38:40.560 --> 00:38:43.840
you're doing that, Heather, I'm going to take Lisa's question.

483
00:38:44.040 --> 00:38:47.240
Lisa, are you asking the question about the zoom link? Or

484
00:38:47.240 --> 00:38:49.280
do you have something else that you want coaching on?

485
00:38:52.800 --> 00:38:54.800
I do have something is that I needed coaching on.

486
00:38:55.160 --> 00:38:57.040
Okay, what's your what's your question?

487
00:38:57.880 --> 00:39:01.240
So my question is, I just finished phase one, I'm an

488
00:39:01.240 --> 00:39:06.240
accountant, I'm working 60 hours a week. And it was very hard to

489
00:39:06.240 --> 00:39:09.880
finish phase one. Well, because I wanted to like, say soak in

490
00:39:09.880 --> 00:39:13.040
everything. It took me two months to do that. And I did

491
00:39:13.040 --> 00:39:17.560
that. However, today, I got on it. And then I heard one of the

492
00:39:17.560 --> 00:39:23.240
sessions before. And then I got overwhelmed. And I got scared

493
00:39:23.240 --> 00:39:27.640
because I've never dated before. I'm 29. I was always busy with

494
00:39:27.640 --> 00:39:30.920
my career. So then I sent an email to admin at Jackie saying,

495
00:39:30.920 --> 00:39:35.880
Can you please move me back to phase one? Because I'm just so

496
00:39:35.880 --> 00:39:40.640
overwhelmed. I mean, the questions are. Yeah, right. Like

497
00:39:40.640 --> 00:39:44.920
I'm, I've never dated before. So the questions were overwhelming

498
00:39:44.920 --> 00:39:48.600
that I heard. So is that something that and also, I'm not

499
00:39:48.640 --> 00:39:53.680
able to give the time needed to learn dating in phase two

500
00:39:53.680 --> 00:39:57.720
because of how busy I am. So if I'm going to learn something, I

501
00:39:57.720 --> 00:40:00.040
want to give it the valuable time that's

502
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:06.400
needed so would you advise me to just soak in into phase one again for just one month

503
00:40:06.400 --> 00:40:11.040
because it's the april that's tax season right where we are working more than 60 hours so it

504
00:40:11.040 --> 00:40:19.920
would be i feel like for my little heart it might be just better to stay there and just let god speak

505
00:40:19.920 --> 00:40:26.640
to me how i how he sees me then get overwhelmed because i'm not gonna date right now anyways

506
00:40:26.640 --> 00:40:32.480
in this busy time like i can't okay let me let me just give you some reassurance okay

507
00:40:32.480 --> 00:40:39.920
yeah um heart work is always continual so whether you're in phase one or phase two

508
00:40:40.960 --> 00:40:47.120
you can still work on heart work here in this space okay we still we and many of the ladies

509
00:40:47.120 --> 00:40:49.920
that are on this call right now that have been here for a little while will attest

510
00:40:50.480 --> 00:40:57.760
that we are always doing heart work okay and you have access to that heart work content

511
00:40:58.560 --> 00:41:03.840
right you can always back and watch replays you have the a copy of the heart work book

512
00:41:03.840 --> 00:41:11.760
i mean i have been in this program for five years okay i still go to back to my heart work book

513
00:41:12.640 --> 00:41:18.640
i still have to sometimes go through and do heart work heart work is like a like an onion

514
00:41:18.640 --> 00:41:26.160
there's layers of it so rest assured you don't have to throw yourself into dating right now

515
00:41:26.160 --> 00:41:34.080
you can sit back and pace this on what works for you because yeah you are in a very very busy

516
00:41:34.080 --> 00:41:40.080
season of work right now so we're not like there's there's a handful of women that are like

517
00:41:40.080 --> 00:41:48.080
i just need to sit back and glean the information and process and take the time to learn this

518
00:41:48.800 --> 00:41:55.680
and then when you're ready we'll gradually get you dating and what you can do right now you're

519
00:41:55.680 --> 00:42:00.800
going to be able to learn so much from your sisters here on these live calls whether you

520
00:42:00.800 --> 00:42:06.560
can come live and hear what they're going through or watching replays i mean we talk about it all

521
00:42:06.560 --> 00:42:11.840
don't we ladies and there's a lot of times like i coach a lot of times it the same things will

522
00:42:11.840 --> 00:42:18.640
come up frequently because it's we're constantly rotating new women in here new dating situations

523
00:42:18.640 --> 00:42:24.720
so don't feel like you're not where you need to be don't feel like you have to go back i know it's

524
00:42:24.720 --> 00:42:31.120
comfortable there but know that we do we do heart work here and we're not going to throw you to the

525
00:42:31.120 --> 00:42:35.360
wolves we're not going to feed you to the sharks and force you to do any of the dating that you're

526
00:42:35.360 --> 00:42:43.440
not ready for um help me understand like what is the first thing that is so like is their fear

527
00:42:43.440 --> 00:42:50.080
aligned with the overwhelming feeling well the overwhelming feeling was because because i've

528
00:42:50.080 --> 00:42:56.720
never had any relationship with men and i've never dated i feel like when i heard that session i

529
00:42:56.720 --> 00:43:02.720
think it was last week's session that i heard that you were coaching on um i just felt that i'm a

530
00:43:02.720 --> 00:43:11.680
little girl um i just felt that those questions just felt so above what i've experienced like

531
00:43:11.680 --> 00:43:16.960
some some of the questions were about sex and i've never thought of them like i wouldn't i wouldn't

532
00:43:16.960 --> 00:43:23.680
because i'm single um and i haven't had so many men around me who were friends so i've not had

533
00:43:23.680 --> 00:43:31.200
even conversations with them let alone think about somebody asking about sex which is again

534
00:43:31.200 --> 00:43:39.040
it's it's a it's a normal question for them um yeah and that's yes and just again remember like

535
00:43:40.000 --> 00:43:47.280
every single one of the ladies in here we're all on a separate journey we have i mean you all are

536
00:43:47.280 --> 00:43:56.000
coming in at different experiences different situations different traumas yes okay i mean i

537
00:43:56.080 --> 00:44:03.520
like again i i was a single mom okay i like so that was that was intimidating for me

538
00:44:04.560 --> 00:44:08.400
like are are these women going to look at me differently because i have a child and i was

539
00:44:08.400 --> 00:44:16.400
never married but i will tell you like as you open up and everyone is vulnerable like we just meet

540
00:44:16.400 --> 00:44:22.240
each other where we're at and we just love on each other and we help support one another like this is

541
00:44:22.240 --> 00:44:30.800
such an amazing community i wouldn't be doing this if i didn't believe it like i i mean i i

542
00:44:30.800 --> 00:44:37.120
could just say okay i got married i'm out bye no i wanted to continue to keep pouring into this

543
00:44:37.120 --> 00:44:45.360
community because what we have here is so sacred and so special because we all have a different

544
00:44:45.360 --> 00:44:52.480
walk in a different journey and we can you know really learn from one another so i want to just

545
00:44:52.480 --> 00:44:57.920
encourage you you don't have to feel i mean i know it's like easier said than done to not feel

546
00:44:57.920 --> 00:44:59.520
overwhelmed but

547
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:06.000
We are here for you. We, we, we're going to walk you through it.

548
00:45:06.000 --> 00:45:16.000
Thank you. And so we can pace it however you want. Okay, thank you. Just one last thing and then I let you start your, your coaching and I start working.

549
00:45:16.000 --> 00:45:29.000
So how would I help that little girl grow in me as a woman, because I'm 29 and I probably might be getting married by God's grace. I have faith. I have faith to say that.

550
00:45:29.000 --> 00:45:40.000
So how do I grow that little girl in me that you're not a little girl anymore, you are maturing as a woman and I have matured a lot in past two months being with Bethany, she is amazing.

551
00:45:41.000 --> 00:45:49.000
I'm sure you are too. I get to know you more. She's great. I love her. She was actually at my wedding. Oh, I love her too.

552
00:45:49.000 --> 00:45:57.000
She and I were in the program together. And so, yeah, she is, she's incredible. Um, yeah, I think those again, it's just like processing with the Lord.

553
00:45:57.000 --> 00:46:07.000
I think even one of the things that we teach her in phase two, and many of the ladies will probably attest to this is God is going to give you experiences and opportunities to grow you.

554
00:46:07.000 --> 00:46:20.000
And he's also going to be gentle with you as well. And so I think as you work on the experiences, so the first thing that came up for me was just practice making the eye contact and smiling with men.

555
00:46:20.000 --> 00:46:30.000
Like I talked about the beginning, start there. Like, don't, you don't have to jump into dating, just practice making eye contact, smiling, saying hi.

556
00:46:31.000 --> 00:46:44.000
And again, like, spend time with Holy Spirit and ask again, that's that heartwork piece, Lord, where, when did I first feel like this?

557
00:46:44.000 --> 00:46:56.000
When did this, like what memories are tied to this feeling, this fear, this thought, you know, why, why am I feeling like I'm not mature enough?

558
00:46:56.000 --> 00:47:05.000
Where does that come from? Where the root is? And God will start revealing those things to you and walking through that process.

559
00:47:05.000 --> 00:47:15.000
I also want to encourage you to take out the word, I probably might get married. No, you will.

560
00:47:15.000 --> 00:47:20.000
I will be married. I am a bride.

561
00:47:20.000 --> 00:47:25.000
Now, I might be a bride. No, I am a bride.

562
00:47:25.000 --> 00:47:30.000
Start speaking that over yourself.

563
00:47:30.000 --> 00:47:37.000
And again, just give yourself grace and time to process.

564
00:47:37.000 --> 00:47:39.000
Thank you. Appreciate that.

565
00:47:39.000 --> 00:47:41.000
Of course, of course.

566
00:47:41.000 --> 00:47:45.000
So do we have that eight o'clock live sessions anymore or do we not have that in place?

567
00:47:45.000 --> 00:47:50.000
We do. I'm, let me.

568
00:47:50.000 --> 00:47:54.000
I'm wondering if I may have missed something.

569
00:47:54.000 --> 00:47:58.000
We may, I'm wondering if there's a special session.

570
00:47:58.000 --> 00:48:05.000
I will, when I get off the call, I will message the team and get more detail.

571
00:48:06.000 --> 00:48:08.000
So should I also.

572
00:48:08.000 --> 00:48:13.000
So, yeah, I would just, I'm going to get more detail about that.

573
00:48:13.000 --> 00:48:17.000
Because I'm wondering if it just wasn't put in and it's supposed to be there.

574
00:48:17.000 --> 00:48:27.000
Okay, and should there might be a reason for that because I'm even seeing the next following Tuesday, I don't, I don't see eight o'clock sessions.

575
00:48:27.000 --> 00:48:32.000
No. Okay, so it's not a meeting. It's like, no, I think, I think it's, there's a glitch.

576
00:48:32.000 --> 00:48:38.000
So, I'm going to when we get off this call, I will message the team.

577
00:48:38.000 --> 00:48:43.000
And my guess is someone's going to have to make sure that it gets added in the app on the calendar.

578
00:48:43.000 --> 00:48:48.000
Should I also let them know that I have been assured that I'm okay.

579
00:48:48.000 --> 00:48:50.000
But I don't need to go back.

580
00:48:50.000 --> 00:48:55.000
You can send you can send that email to them and just let them know.

581
00:48:55.000 --> 00:48:57.000
And you're not alone. Okay.

582
00:48:57.000 --> 00:49:02.000
We've had, we've had those emails before. Okay.

583
00:49:02.000 --> 00:49:04.000
All right.

584
00:49:04.000 --> 00:49:13.000
I know, Heather had more content, but while I'm still searching that Jennifer I'm going to go ahead and let you go so that we don't run out of a lot of time here.

585
00:49:13.000 --> 00:49:23.000
That's great, except for I do have to leave in like five minutes so I'm going to be able to straight to me and I will do my best to shoot it straight to you and if you have to jump off, it's in replay.

586
00:49:23.000 --> 00:49:25.000
Okay.

587
00:49:25.000 --> 00:49:30.000
This was kind of regarding the post I sent you a while ago.

588
00:49:30.000 --> 00:49:44.000
I'm in my 40s, want to be married want to be a mom all of those things, but have never really dated. So all of that's kind of new to me and the fact of that the part I'm struggling with is like not feeling wanted.

589
00:49:44.000 --> 00:49:51.000
And you had mentioned briefly like that some of that might be an identity, I do feel like I'm worthy of being wanted.

590
00:49:51.000 --> 00:49:58.000
But I just don't have the experiences of being wanted, so it feels like I'm wanted for a bit, and then it drops off.

591
00:49:58.000 --> 00:50:00.000
And I think where I'm struggling right now.

592
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.780
It's just creating, it's creating this thing in my head that I've prayed about, but feel

593
00:50:04.780 --> 00:50:09.700
like I'm not getting answers of, well, this just keeps happening to you.

594
00:50:09.700 --> 00:50:12.740
And this keeps happening to you because you're not really meant to be married.

595
00:50:12.740 --> 00:50:15.140
And this is kind of the life that I have for you.

596
00:50:15.140 --> 00:50:17.660
And I'm struggling in community as well.

597
00:50:17.660 --> 00:50:21.820
I can't seem to keep friends either.

598
00:50:21.820 --> 00:50:25.940
And like done the work of like trying to see if there's anything I'm doing.

599
00:50:25.940 --> 00:50:30.820
It literally just feels like people just fall off and there isn't a reason.

600
00:50:30.820 --> 00:50:36.820
There is one guy I've been talking to on apps much longer than I should, according to the

601
00:50:36.820 --> 00:50:37.820
program.

602
00:50:37.820 --> 00:50:43.860
And I get that he just seems really busy, but he still seems interested.

603
00:50:43.860 --> 00:50:45.460
And it's the farthest I've gotten.

604
00:50:45.460 --> 00:50:46.460
I've been on apps.

605
00:50:46.460 --> 00:50:49.180
I mean, I've been doing this since I was like 25.

606
00:50:49.180 --> 00:50:51.540
So I've tried online dating several times.

607
00:50:51.540 --> 00:50:55.780
This is the farthest I've ever gotten in probably the handful.

608
00:50:55.780 --> 00:50:59.860
But part of me is like, am I holding on to hope with this person of like, ooh, and maybe

609
00:50:59.860 --> 00:51:00.860
this will happen.

610
00:51:00.860 --> 00:51:02.380
And maybe this will happen.

611
00:51:02.380 --> 00:51:06.940
Not the person, but the experience, because it would just be really nice to have them

612
00:51:06.940 --> 00:51:09.300
be successful at least once.

613
00:51:09.300 --> 00:51:10.300
Yeah.

614
00:51:10.300 --> 00:51:16.740
So he did the last message was, hey, so sorry, like I've been really busy.

615
00:51:16.740 --> 00:51:18.580
I do still want to meet you.

616
00:51:18.580 --> 00:51:21.340
Maybe this weekend would be good.

617
00:51:21.340 --> 00:51:25.900
I guess with all of this, the heartwork stuff I'm trying to do, but I'm feeling like I'm

618
00:51:25.900 --> 00:51:31.100
not getting very far, but also like, do I keep trying to see if this goes anywhere?

619
00:51:31.100 --> 00:51:34.980
Do I just let him go and continue to talk with some of the other people?

620
00:51:34.980 --> 00:51:40.580
The other people don't seem to be going more than like one to two messages, but okay.

621
00:51:40.580 --> 00:51:41.580
That's my question.

622
00:51:41.580 --> 00:51:42.580
Yes.

623
00:51:42.580 --> 00:51:44.020
So there's a couple of things.

624
00:51:44.020 --> 00:51:50.500
So one thing that we'll coach here is reciprocation.

625
00:51:50.660 --> 00:51:53.420
So you want to reciprocate the same kind of efforts.

626
00:51:53.420 --> 00:51:54.420
Okay.

627
00:51:54.420 --> 00:51:59.540
So again, just being mindful, like, are you the one that's initiating a lot with him?

628
00:51:59.540 --> 00:52:02.820
No, I'm trying to be really hands off.

629
00:52:02.820 --> 00:52:07.660
Like if he messages me, I wait the next day or a couple of hours or something like I'm

630
00:52:07.660 --> 00:52:09.540
not instantly messaging back.

631
00:52:09.540 --> 00:52:10.540
Yeah.

632
00:52:10.540 --> 00:52:12.820
I wouldn't intentionally not like, oh, I got to wait a couple hours.

633
00:52:12.820 --> 00:52:16.820
Like, but again, if it's like, I don't have time to do that, then that's, that's fine.

634
00:52:16.820 --> 00:52:17.820
Okay.

635
00:52:17.820 --> 00:52:18.820
Okay, good.

636
00:52:18.820 --> 00:52:19.820
I just want to want to make sure that we're clear on that.

637
00:52:20.140 --> 00:52:21.140
Yeah.

638
00:52:21.140 --> 00:52:24.900
I think I did initiate the, Hey, I'm, I'm enjoying chatting with you.

639
00:52:24.900 --> 00:52:31.100
Like I'd like to either have a phone call or a video call and I was actually just going

640
00:52:31.100 --> 00:52:33.660
to see if you wanted to get together.

641
00:52:33.660 --> 00:52:34.780
It's getting warmer.

642
00:52:34.780 --> 00:52:36.780
So I kind of left it at that.

643
00:52:36.780 --> 00:52:43.260
Then he went on a trip or something and we talked a little bit, just like basic superficial

644
00:52:43.260 --> 00:52:46.740
chatting and I was like, Hey, you had mentioned getting together.

645
00:52:46.740 --> 00:52:49.260
I'm still interested, but that's like, that's up to you.

646
00:52:49.700 --> 00:52:50.700
Kind of leaving that in his hands.

647
00:52:50.700 --> 00:52:53.700
I didn't say that's up to you, but that's kind of what I was meaning.

648
00:52:53.700 --> 00:52:58.620
And that's when he texted back and said like, well, maybe this weekend would be good.

649
00:52:58.620 --> 00:53:01.780
Or if not next weekend, I'll try and make something work.

650
00:53:01.780 --> 00:53:02.780
Okay.

651
00:53:02.780 --> 00:53:03.780
That's good.

652
00:53:03.780 --> 00:53:04.780
Yeah.

653
00:53:04.780 --> 00:53:05.780
And then let him, let him take that lead.

654
00:53:05.780 --> 00:53:08.380
Let him take that lead and see where that goes.

655
00:53:08.380 --> 00:53:12.260
I don't think you, and ladies, I'm going to coach this to everybody cause this, you, you're

656
00:53:12.260 --> 00:53:18.420
bringing up some good stuff just because it might not feel like the pace that you're wanting.

657
00:53:18.580 --> 00:53:20.780
It doesn't mean you have to cut and run.

658
00:53:20.780 --> 00:53:23.020
It just means that they're there.

659
00:53:23.020 --> 00:53:26.380
You're not throwing them like back in the water, right?

660
00:53:26.380 --> 00:53:30.060
You're just saying, okay, it's just not lining up.

661
00:53:30.060 --> 00:53:34.900
I'm still going to continue to engage, but I'm not going to sit here and put all my efforts

662
00:53:34.900 --> 00:53:40.340
and all my energy again, which is why we coach you ladies to date more than one person.

663
00:53:40.340 --> 00:53:44.260
Like you're getting to know them a couple of things that, you know, you brought up was

664
00:53:44.260 --> 00:53:46.860
the hope thing.

665
00:53:46.860 --> 00:53:54.220
Have you gone back into the course work of phase one and watch the hope video?

666
00:53:54.220 --> 00:54:00.340
I've not gone back, but I've taken the things that I took from that of like calling out

667
00:54:00.340 --> 00:54:02.940
the lies and speaking the truth.

668
00:54:02.940 --> 00:54:09.220
It's just that for me in my life, the experiences just keep showing up and showing up and seem

669
00:54:09.220 --> 00:54:12.580
to partner with the lies and it just gets really tiring.

670
00:54:13.580 --> 00:54:20.340
To me, sometimes what can happen is that, and I think I spoke with it, I think she's

671
00:54:20.340 --> 00:54:24.620
on here or she was a moment ago.

672
00:54:24.620 --> 00:54:31.100
I don't know if you've heard any of the replays where I was speaking to Caitlin.

673
00:54:31.100 --> 00:54:32.100
I'm not sure.

674
00:54:32.100 --> 00:54:35.620
I've been on a few, but I can go back.

675
00:54:35.660 --> 00:54:43.700
The enemy loves to send you those lies because again, is God going to say things to you like

676
00:54:43.700 --> 00:54:48.380
this isn't happening to you where it's going to take away your hope?

677
00:54:48.380 --> 00:54:51.860
Is that our God?

678
00:54:51.860 --> 00:54:52.860
It's not.

679
00:54:52.860 --> 00:54:56.420
And I think part of the part I'm struggling with is like, I just wish I had someone in

680
00:54:56.420 --> 00:55:00.020
my life that could send me the messages to say that instead of me.

681
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:05.400
doing that for everybody else. Yeah. Yeah, you have a client,

682
00:55:05.400 --> 00:55:07.320
so I'm not gonna cry. Okay.

683
00:55:09.080 --> 00:55:12.720
Yeah. And I know you have to jump off quickly. And so I don't

684
00:55:12.720 --> 00:55:16.240
want to, you know, dig dig, you know, too much here. But and we

685
00:55:16.240 --> 00:55:20.040
can we can definitely revisit this. Even next week, I can put

686
00:55:20.040 --> 00:55:23.480
you on, you know, the top of the list. Because, you know, I think

687
00:55:23.480 --> 00:55:28.400
there's some healing here for you, for sure. And just know, I

688
00:55:28.400 --> 00:55:33.440
can almost guarantee there are other women on this call, and

689
00:55:33.440 --> 00:55:37.000
that will watch in this replay, that are going to relate to

690
00:55:37.000 --> 00:55:44.200
where you've been. Like, it doesn't hold out hope for them.

691
00:55:44.240 --> 00:55:49.800
So yeah, and so I know you have a client, so I'm gonna let you

692
00:55:49.800 --> 00:55:55.480
go. But let's definitely revisit this next week. And you're in

693
00:55:55.480 --> 00:55:59.160
the right place. You're here with sisters that, you know, are

694
00:55:59.160 --> 00:56:02.720
going to help lift you up. And it's going to happen for you.

695
00:56:03.040 --> 00:56:07.600
Thank you. One thing that Jackie told me when I was at like, my

696
00:56:07.600 --> 00:56:12.120
like, losing the hope losing the faith. She's like, Carla, I know

697
00:56:12.120 --> 00:56:15.480
you don't have the faith right now. But borrow mine. You're the

698
00:56:15.480 --> 00:56:18.800
bride. You can meet your husband by the end of the year, y'all.

699
00:56:18.800 --> 00:56:23.520
It was the beginning of November when she told me this. I borrowed

700
00:56:23.520 --> 00:56:27.520
her faith. I didn't believe it for me. But I believed that she

701
00:56:27.520 --> 00:56:32.800
believed it for me. And so I hang I hung on to that. And the

702
00:56:32.800 --> 00:56:37.120
week later, my husband dropped into my DMs. That's

703
00:56:37.120 --> 00:56:44.080
supernatural, y'all. Like, borrow our faith for you. Thank

704
00:56:44.080 --> 00:56:47.040
you. God doesn't want you just married. He wants you healed.

705
00:56:47.720 --> 00:56:51.040
And you're going to get so much healing, hurting community,

706
00:56:51.040 --> 00:56:54.600
healed in community, hurting relationship, healed in

707
00:56:54.600 --> 00:57:02.840
relationship. That is for you. Thank you. Yes. Amen. All right.

708
00:57:02.840 --> 00:57:05.040
Thank you, Jennifer. Thank you for being vulnerable. Ladies

709
00:57:05.040 --> 00:57:08.080
like that's what this is all about. vulnerability.

710
00:57:09.400 --> 00:57:13.800
vulnerability. Do not feel like you can't come on these calls

711
00:57:13.800 --> 00:57:18.280
and share and ask your questions and get real and cry and do

712
00:57:18.280 --> 00:57:23.200
whatever it is like this is a safe space. vulnerability is is

713
00:57:23.200 --> 00:57:26.640
such a beautiful thing. It really truly is it really

714
00:57:26.920 --> 00:57:34.320
creates relationship. It really does. And ladies, you're gonna

715
00:57:34.320 --> 00:57:36.800
get vulnerable with your husbands. So this is good

716
00:57:36.800 --> 00:57:43.040
practice. All right. Okay, who did I have next? I know I took

717
00:57:43.040 --> 00:57:46.720
Lisa, Stephanie, I think you were on my list next, correct?

718
00:57:47.280 --> 00:57:53.360
Want to take you and then I think it's Lulu, Lolita. And

719
00:57:53.360 --> 00:57:56.960
then if we have time, we got like 15 minutes. Okay. And then

720
00:57:56.960 --> 00:58:00.640
I see Melissa's hand raised as well. How are you? It's always

721
00:58:00.640 --> 00:58:01.520
so good to see you.

722
00:58:02.520 --> 00:58:07.520
Mine is very short. Okay, if I'm weird, please tell me. So

723
00:58:07.840 --> 00:58:11.120
there's this guy, I have a message on the app. But all he

724
00:58:11.120 --> 00:58:14.360
does is get up every morning and he will send me a long text of

725
00:58:14.360 --> 00:58:18.240
praying for me. And I'm like, Am I weird? I don't know if it

726
00:58:18.240 --> 00:58:22.520
because of my trauma. And I'm like, Lord, I thought I was he

727
00:58:22.520 --> 00:58:25.760
what it is. So I asked him, is there anything you want to know

728
00:58:25.760 --> 00:58:31.320
about me, but he gets up every day and just pray for me. That's

729
00:58:31.320 --> 00:58:31.840
all he did.

730
00:58:33.560 --> 00:58:35.720
Am I weird? So he's doing that in the morning.

731
00:58:36.040 --> 00:58:38.800
Every morning I get this like clockwork. If I could buy a

732
00:58:38.800 --> 00:58:42.840
lottery ticket, if I did gamble, I would could have won. But

733
00:58:43.720 --> 00:58:45.960
that man is going to be sending you a prayer every morning.

734
00:58:49.040 --> 00:58:52.200
How do you respond to him when he sends that to you?

735
00:58:52.480 --> 00:58:56.760
So I say thank you. I don't pray back or anything because I

736
00:58:57.760 --> 00:59:00.840
because he asked me what I'm looking for. I said this is

737
00:59:00.840 --> 00:59:06.120
discovery sets segment for me. So that's what I keep on telling

738
00:59:06.120 --> 00:59:11.360
everybody. And then then once I told him that he should stop

739
00:59:11.360 --> 00:59:14.800
praying for me. Once I told him he said he just get up every

740
00:59:14.800 --> 00:59:17.520
morning pray for my peace. He pray for I mean, it's really

741
00:59:17.520 --> 00:59:21.760
sweet. But I'm just I don't know if I'm just if I'm too

742
00:59:21.760 --> 00:59:24.400
aggressive or I'm too I don't know if I'm just because I'm

743
00:59:24.400 --> 00:59:29.000
used to that type of thing. It just, please. It's also where to

744
00:59:29.000 --> 00:59:32.840
say the law, but I was like, Am I weird? It's annoying to me.

745
00:59:32.840 --> 00:59:35.640
But I'm like, it's something I would I mean, here's the thing

746
00:59:35.640 --> 00:59:37.880
is, I don't think it's weird or annoying. I definitely think

747
00:59:37.880 --> 00:59:42.080
it's smart for you to be cautious about this. 100% like,

748
00:59:42.200 --> 00:59:46.280
and I'm not saying that to freak you out, because we have to be

749
00:59:46.280 --> 00:59:51.080
very careful with the whole praying over and having a

750
00:59:51.080 --> 00:59:55.120
spiritual intimacy with someone that you still don't know. Have

751
00:59:55.120 --> 00:59:59.400
you had a video call or an in person date?

752
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:10.840
No, this he does nothing I yet he only asked me if I wanted. I will encourage you to have. Let's set some boundaries here, OK?

753
01:00:14.640 --> 01:00:24.160
I would encourage you to say, hey, thank you so much. I do appreciate you praying over me every morning. It is a very thoughtful, nice gesture, however.

754
01:00:24.600 --> 01:00:41.800
Until we've spent some time getting to know each other and we can, is he local or is he like a long distance? He's long distance. OK, so just be like, look, until we've spent some time getting to know each other and we've done some video calls and we've gotten to meet at least once in person.

755
01:00:42.520 --> 01:00:47.880
I would like to suggest that we hold brain for each other.

756
01:00:49.240 --> 01:00:52.000
Until we've spent more time getting to know each other.

757
01:00:53.000 --> 01:00:56.840
OK, so with that and then and then and tell him, be like, is that all right with you?

758
01:00:58.040 --> 01:01:14.400
I that's my that is what I always when I when I set boundaries with people, I say, here's what I proposed. Is that OK with you? Because now you're putting them in a position to have the opportunity to respond and respect your boundary.

759
01:01:15.120 --> 01:01:19.840
OK, so let me feel like because I thought everybody would. I don't think it's weird.

760
01:01:21.960 --> 01:01:28.560
I think it's good that you got some like, hold on, this doesn't feel right. OK, situation, ladies.

761
01:01:29.560 --> 01:01:33.840
Spirit, I'm I'm a big proponent of like spiritual intimacy.

762
01:01:35.360 --> 01:01:42.880
You do not want to me. It's very for me. OK, it feels very similar to physical intimacy.

763
01:01:43.280 --> 01:01:50.480
I'm not going to go get physical with someone if I'm not married, right? I'm not like I didn't kiss my husband until we were exclusive.

764
01:01:51.360 --> 01:02:01.360
Because I didn't want that physical intimacy yet until there was someone that I felt secure with that. Hey, I'm what you know, I'm I'm dating you and you alone.

765
01:02:02.280 --> 01:02:11.760
Same thing with not having sex before marriage like that's a that's a physical intimacy. That's in covenant for marriage.

766
01:02:13.160 --> 01:02:19.360
And now when I'm now, don't hear what I'm saying, ladies, because I know sometimes that can strike up some offense with people, y'all.

767
01:02:20.520 --> 01:02:30.040
We're all grown adults, we're all women, right? We all have, you know, stuff. OK, I say that because I didn't do it that way.

768
01:02:30.760 --> 01:02:47.720
I, y'all, I was I was a single mom and I'd never been married. So that tells you something. OK, I didn't follow that. It was a strong conviction for me that I wasn't going to put myself in that situation again and I was going to listen to the Lord.

769
01:02:48.720 --> 01:03:07.600
So I, again, physical intimacy, spiritual intimacy to me, that's still very similar. I don't want to have a spiritual intimacy with someone where we I can create a soul tie or bond with somebody that, you know, my my relationship with with Jesus is mine.

770
01:03:07.600 --> 01:03:23.960
It's sacred. It's secure. It is one of the most important. It is the most important relationship in my life. I'm not going to invite a complete stranger into that right away. I want to feel safe with that.

771
01:03:24.960 --> 01:03:41.960
Same thing with people praying over you, like sometimes it's like you've got to be careful sometimes how people want to pray over you and then you can say, OK, I don't receive that. I receive that, you know, like it's OK when people want to even with prophetic words. Do you all know that you can not accept a prophetic word?

772
01:03:41.960 --> 01:03:53.960
If someone gives you a word and it doesn't sit right, you can just say, thank you. And you can just be like, you know what? I don't claim that over myself. That doesn't feel good.

773
01:03:53.960 --> 01:04:17.960
So, again, I will encourage you just set a boundary with him, say, hey, thanks. I appreciate appreciate the gesture. But I'm going to ask that we hold something with that intimacy of spirituality. Let's wait until we've spent some time getting to know each other. Let's have some video calls first. And then if those video calls go well, let's meet in person.

774
01:04:17.960 --> 01:04:24.960
And then let's keep me updated and let's see how he responds. I want to know how he responds, because I think, Stephanie, you also had another person.

775
01:04:24.960 --> 01:04:44.960
Am I correct? He blocked me. So he texted me today again because you said to text him and I texted him and he said, oh, I'm a pleaser. So I asked myself, I said, probably I said, I don't understand what you mean by this submissive and this pleaser. Can you explain? And he just blocked me.

776
01:04:44.960 --> 01:04:59.960
Yeah. God protected. God defended. Amen. Ladies, ask the questions. Ask the questions. You know, be bold. It's OK. There's ways to do that in a year.

777
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:07.360
feminine way. We can ask questions and we can have boundaries and we can still show up in a

778
01:05:07.360 --> 01:05:12.880
feminine self way. There's nothing wrong with setting good boundaries, healthy boundaries.

779
01:05:14.000 --> 01:05:21.280
Okay. I'm glad you did that. I'm glad that he showed his colors and he removed himself.

780
01:05:23.920 --> 01:05:28.560
All right. Heather did, I don't think she's on here. I think she probably,

781
01:05:28.560 --> 01:05:31.920
but she's going to watch this and read, but she said, see, he didn't talk with him during

782
01:05:31.920 --> 01:05:36.160
heartwork, but this is the first opportunity. And I want to set expectations because I want

783
01:05:36.160 --> 01:05:41.360
to date others during discovery. If I have a trip out East, that makes it possible. Okay.

784
01:05:41.360 --> 01:05:48.160
So her going out there, she's already got it set up. So it works. And she really hasn't had

785
01:05:48.160 --> 01:05:54.800
an opportunity. I'm guessing to really talk with him in heartwork, which is fine. So she can just

786
01:05:54.800 --> 01:06:01.280
probably continue to get to know him up into the point of going out there, probably setting up a

787
01:06:01.280 --> 01:06:07.120
video call or two so that you can have face to face. So ladies don't like, if you can't meet

788
01:06:07.120 --> 01:06:12.000
someone right away, jump on those video calls, get in front of them face to face. So you can see

789
01:06:12.000 --> 01:06:18.560
facial expressions. You can see intentionality. You know, I had a guy one time I was doing a video

790
01:06:18.560 --> 01:06:23.600
call with him first and he was moving the phone all over the place. And I could see it was at

791
01:06:23.600 --> 01:06:27.760
night. Like I could see he was watching television because I could see the, like the light from the

792
01:06:27.760 --> 01:06:31.760
television, like flickering on his face. Like, dude, you're not even paying attention to me.

793
01:06:32.480 --> 01:06:38.000
Like, yeah, I'm probably not going to go out on an actual date with you. And I was pleasant. I,

794
01:06:38.000 --> 01:06:43.920
you know, continued to a few other questions and then we got off the call. So I'm a big proponent

795
01:06:43.920 --> 01:06:50.400
for those video calls. So Heather, if you're watching and replay, get some video calls first

796
01:06:51.040 --> 01:07:01.600
before you set immediate plans of, you know, getting together. I was going to say, just set

797
01:07:01.600 --> 01:07:09.040
the one, one date first. Don't map out this like, oh, we're going to spend two, three days with each

798
01:07:09.040 --> 01:07:14.960
other. Funny story. My husband did that when he first met me before he came out, he's like, so

799
01:07:14.960 --> 01:07:21.920
am I going to see you more than once? And I was like, well, can we decide that after our first

800
01:07:21.920 --> 01:07:27.840
date? And he like, he laughs now because he's like, oh, that's when I realized, well, what if

801
01:07:27.840 --> 01:07:34.800
this girl's crazy? And maybe I don't want to hang out with her more than once. So that would be my

802
01:07:34.800 --> 01:07:40.480
encouragement. Meet them first. And then if you're like, oh, this is fun. Hey, I've got some extra

803
01:07:40.480 --> 01:07:47.680
time while I'm on this trip. Let's continue to get to know each other. Okay. All right. I think

804
01:07:49.520 --> 01:07:56.640
who do I have first? Lulu or Lolita? Who wants to unmute and go?

805
01:07:57.840 --> 01:08:04.640
Oh, sure. Hi. All right. Lulu. Hi, Carla. So I have been talking to this guy.

806
01:08:05.280 --> 01:08:10.880
I started as a friend and he has shown some interest, but then he wasn't too serious.

807
01:08:11.600 --> 01:08:17.680
Last weekend, we hang out as a group and I saw that he started to like, if there's a new girl

808
01:08:17.680 --> 01:08:24.479
that he will start talking to her and then show interest. And I started to feel insecure and

809
01:08:26.000 --> 01:08:31.920
so I don't know what to do. And the next day he actually visited my church and I was a little bit

810
01:08:31.920 --> 01:08:38.000
sick. But he, after he went back, he didn't even text me, how are you feeling? And then,

811
01:08:38.000 --> 01:08:44.080
but I saw him texting the group that chatting with the girls. So I don't know how do I manage

812
01:08:44.080 --> 01:08:48.479
that? I know this is discovery dating. I just want to get your opinion, how to,

813
01:08:49.920 --> 01:08:52.479
how to deal with that. So what, so

814
01:08:55.520 --> 01:08:59.680
y'all, you were in a group setting and he was like, kind of talking with another girl.

815
01:09:00.240 --> 01:09:06.960
Right. Did he invite you out to that group setting? No, that group was a fellowship.

816
01:09:07.520 --> 01:09:11.840
So it was invited by a different person. Okay. So it was just, you all were in a

817
01:09:11.840 --> 01:09:14.960
group and this is the guy you're like, Oh, I'm kind of interested in. I want to get to

818
01:09:14.960 --> 01:09:19.279
know him a little more. And you're having some exchanges, right? Because we have been talking

819
01:09:19.279 --> 01:09:27.040
for actually two months. So we know each other during heartwork. Yes. Okay.

820
01:09:30.479 --> 01:09:37.520
Okay. So you've been talking to two months, but this was also going during your heartwork.

821
01:09:38.560 --> 01:09:46.080
Right. And then he has, so what, like what, while you were been talking for those two

822
01:09:46.080 --> 01:09:49.120
months and you were in heartwork, like what did that relationship look like?

823
01:09:49.120 --> 01:09:57.040
We exchanged some, we are both artists, so we're just exchanging some

824
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.800
experience and like artworks and music stuff.

825
01:10:04.800 --> 01:10:07.120
We actually working on some project together.

826
01:10:08.080 --> 01:10:08.920
Okay.

827
01:10:10.040 --> 01:10:12.580
Is he aware that you're interested in him?

828
01:10:13.800 --> 01:10:15.840
I think he might knows.

829
01:10:15.840 --> 01:10:18.600
You think he might, but you're not sure.

830
01:10:18.600 --> 01:10:23.600
What have you done to ensure him that you are interested?

831
01:10:25.120 --> 01:10:28.360
I have helping with a lot of project works,

832
01:10:28.440 --> 01:10:33.440
like finding venue, talk to the vendor and all that.

833
01:10:33.440 --> 01:10:35.640
Yeah, but this is all work-based, right?

834
01:10:35.640 --> 01:10:36.800
Right.

835
01:10:36.800 --> 01:10:39.040
It's not like more of a relational.

836
01:10:39.040 --> 01:10:44.040
So what I would encourage you to do is let him know,

837
01:10:45.640 --> 01:10:50.600
hey, have you guys gone out on a date

838
01:10:50.600 --> 01:10:54.160
or has it all been work-related, all art-related?

839
01:10:54.160 --> 01:10:56.080
Yes, work-related.

840
01:10:56.080 --> 01:11:00.240
So I would suggest reaching out to him and being like,

841
01:11:00.240 --> 01:11:02.120
hey, I know when we get together,

842
01:11:02.120 --> 01:11:05.560
we do a lot of like art stuff and projects

843
01:11:05.560 --> 01:11:09.840
and we're bouncing ideas off of each other and stuff,

844
01:11:09.840 --> 01:11:14.560
but what would you say about us going out

845
01:11:14.560 --> 01:11:16.520
and just getting to know each other?

846
01:11:16.520 --> 01:11:18.760
Like, I think you're a really interesting person

847
01:11:18.760 --> 01:11:21.700
and I really wanna get to know you on a different level.

848
01:11:23.620 --> 01:11:25.480
Throw that out there.

849
01:11:26.480 --> 01:11:29.040
Like, what's your response to that suggestion?

850
01:11:30.960 --> 01:11:35.040
Actually, this week I kind of flipped my feeling to him

851
01:11:35.040 --> 01:11:38.840
because I saw him not so serious about me

852
01:11:38.840 --> 01:11:41.960
and he's trying to like chat with different people.

853
01:11:41.960 --> 01:11:45.520
I start to feel like maybe this is not for me.

854
01:11:45.520 --> 01:11:47.280
That's why I think it's really important

855
01:11:47.280 --> 01:11:49.240
because what can happen, ladies,

856
01:11:49.240 --> 01:11:54.240
what can happen is we can find ourselves in situationships.

857
01:11:54.440 --> 01:11:56.760
We're interested in somebody

858
01:11:56.760 --> 01:12:00.300
and we're seeing them like talking to other people

859
01:12:00.300 --> 01:12:02.940
and then we kind of get this feeling of jealousy

860
01:12:02.940 --> 01:12:06.200
or insecurity because we've kind of fantasized

861
01:12:06.200 --> 01:12:09.120
having this like connection with them

862
01:12:09.120 --> 01:12:11.200
when they don't even really know it.

863
01:12:12.200 --> 01:12:14.360
So I think it's important

864
01:12:14.360 --> 01:12:16.100
and it's going to feel uncomfortable.

865
01:12:16.100 --> 01:12:18.400
Ladies, I'm not gonna say it's super easy,

866
01:12:18.400 --> 01:12:20.880
like especially if you like somebody,

867
01:12:20.880 --> 01:12:22.520
it's not always easy to be like,

868
01:12:22.520 --> 01:12:26.240
hey, I really like you and I want to get to know you

869
01:12:26.240 --> 01:12:30.080
a little, on a more, like a deeper level.

870
01:12:30.080 --> 01:12:35.080
Why don't we go out and just you and I go bowling

871
01:12:35.600 --> 01:12:38.580
or, I mean, whatever suggestion that you want to do,

872
01:12:38.580 --> 01:12:40.560
like some, an activity or a date

873
01:12:40.560 --> 01:12:42.520
that you want to do with him

874
01:12:42.520 --> 01:12:44.840
and just offer that and be like,

875
01:12:44.840 --> 01:12:48.040
without having work involved.

876
01:12:48.040 --> 01:12:50.540
So then it's very clear to him,

877
01:12:50.540 --> 01:12:53.260
oh, this chick likes me.

878
01:12:53.260 --> 01:12:56.360
And then two things can happen.

879
01:12:58.220 --> 01:13:03.220
He can be like, oh no, I'm not interested in that way,

880
01:13:03.740 --> 01:13:06.220
I appreciate it, I'm flattered, thank you,

881
01:13:06.220 --> 01:13:08.020
but I'm actually, you know, whatever.

882
01:13:08.020 --> 01:13:11.420
He can decline and guess what?

883
01:13:11.420 --> 01:13:13.980
You wanna know what happens if he declines?

884
01:13:13.980 --> 01:13:17.020
You're not feeling the weight and the heaviness

885
01:13:17.020 --> 01:13:19.940
of this like, oh, I don't know if he likes me,

886
01:13:20.700 --> 01:13:24.420
all that anxiousness, so he gets let go.

887
01:13:24.420 --> 01:13:25.900
If that's his response,

888
01:13:25.900 --> 01:13:27.660
you wanna know the other responses?

889
01:13:28.860 --> 01:13:30.220
I didn't know you liked me like that.

890
01:13:30.220 --> 01:13:31.300
I would love to get to know you.

891
01:13:31.300 --> 01:13:32.440
And then all of a sudden,

892
01:13:32.440 --> 01:13:36.180
you see him investing some time and energy

893
01:13:36.180 --> 01:13:40.180
to taking that friendship to that next level

894
01:13:40.180 --> 01:13:43.660
because that's possibly what could be happening right now.

895
01:13:43.660 --> 01:13:46.860
You're gonna friend that, you're gonna friend that.

896
01:13:46.860 --> 01:13:49.860
I thought he should be the one initiator.

897
01:13:49.860 --> 01:13:50.860
But here's the thing, ladies,

898
01:13:50.860 --> 01:13:52.820
I know we have this idea

899
01:13:52.820 --> 01:13:57.820
and I know that the world kind of teaches us to this,

900
01:13:58.220 --> 01:14:02.120
that men have to pursue, men had to hunt us down.

901
01:14:02.120 --> 01:14:05.820
Yeah, to some extent, like we want men to be intentional.

902
01:14:05.820 --> 01:14:08.560
We want, like you want them to see

903
01:14:08.560 --> 01:14:10.760
that they're interested in you.

904
01:14:10.760 --> 01:14:14.980
But oftentimes, men don't have that clue

905
01:14:14.980 --> 01:14:16.360
right off the bat.

906
01:14:16.760 --> 01:14:19.760
They're just as intimidated and unsure

907
01:14:19.760 --> 01:14:21.980
if a woman likes them,

908
01:14:21.980 --> 01:14:26.000
that they sometimes are held back and reserved.

909
01:14:27.000 --> 01:14:31.320
Like there's a lot of times like women have to,

910
01:14:31.320 --> 01:14:33.920
like that's why we talk about dropping the hanky.

911
01:14:33.920 --> 01:14:36.320
You gotta give the man a clue that you like him.

912
01:14:37.280 --> 01:14:40.840
And then you can see after that,

913
01:14:40.840 --> 01:14:43.280
okay, it's clear that I like you.

914
01:14:43.280 --> 01:14:45.040
I'm gonna see if you like me in return

915
01:14:45.040 --> 01:14:47.480
because there's gonna be some intentionality,

916
01:14:47.480 --> 01:14:50.420
but there's still reciprocation that's happening.

917
01:14:50.420 --> 01:14:53.960
Okay, you can't let a man just constantly come, come, come,

918
01:14:53.960 --> 01:14:55.980
chase me, chase me, chase me.

919
01:14:55.980 --> 01:14:59.320
Like people don't chase, like people don't like,

920
01:14:59.320 --> 01:15:00.160
think about it.

921
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:01.960
Someone's pursuing you, they're pursuing you

922
01:15:01.960 --> 01:15:05.120
because you're running, right?

923
01:15:06.960 --> 01:15:08.240
You're trying to go after something

924
01:15:08.240 --> 01:15:09.920
and if it's running the opposite direction,

925
01:15:09.920 --> 01:15:13.120
like, no, you wanna reciprocate.

926
01:15:13.120 --> 01:15:17.600
So Lulu, I want you to pray about the courage,

927
01:15:17.600 --> 01:15:18.920
to drop the hinky to him,

928
01:15:20.200 --> 01:15:22.520
make it clear to him that you're interested

929
01:15:23.720 --> 01:15:25.760
and then we'll go from there.

930
01:15:25.760 --> 01:15:27.920
And if there's some of that insecurity that's coming up,

931
01:15:27.920 --> 01:15:30.720
then we're gonna wanna do some hard work on that.

932
01:15:32.320 --> 01:15:35.160
Again, that insecurity stuff typically

933
01:15:35.160 --> 01:15:39.400
is in alignment with identity and worth and value.

934
01:15:39.400 --> 01:15:43.880
And so we gotta, again, listen,

935
01:15:43.880 --> 01:15:46.720
see what those lies are and replace those lies with truth.

936
01:15:47.840 --> 01:15:49.160
Okay?

937
01:15:49.160 --> 01:15:50.000
Thank you.

938
01:15:50.000 --> 01:15:51.320
You are welcome.

939
01:15:51.320 --> 01:15:54.240
All right, Lolita, I think I have time

940
01:15:54.240 --> 01:15:55.560
to maybe do like five minutes

941
01:15:55.560 --> 01:15:57.520
and then I'm gonna have to jump us off.

942
01:15:58.880 --> 01:16:00.960
I can't get to you, but if you, Melissa,

943
01:16:00.960 --> 01:16:04.760
I want you to put in the chat or in the app your question

944
01:16:04.760 --> 01:16:06.520
and I will look at that today

945
01:16:06.520 --> 01:16:09.000
and I will get a response to you.

946
01:16:09.000 --> 01:16:10.640
All right, Lolita, how are you?

947
01:16:10.640 --> 01:16:14.480
Hi, I'm new to phase two.

948
01:16:16.040 --> 01:16:21.040
My question or either it's just a statement, I'm not sure.

949
01:16:21.200 --> 01:16:24.360
I find that men see me as a friend

950
01:16:24.360 --> 01:16:25.880
and I think that's mainly

951
01:16:25.880 --> 01:16:30.000
because I have always worked in male-dominant fields.

952
01:16:30.000 --> 01:16:32.600
I have always been around men

953
01:16:32.600 --> 01:16:37.600
and mainly like different nationalities of men.

954
01:16:38.960 --> 01:16:43.960
And I don't know, but that's my experience

955
01:16:44.040 --> 01:16:47.720
that they just see me as a friend, a sister.

956
01:16:47.720 --> 01:16:49.840
They don't see me.

957
01:16:49.840 --> 01:16:53.440
And I don't know if it's that I have too much masculine energy.

958
01:16:53.440 --> 01:16:54.640
How has that shown up?

959
01:16:54.840 --> 01:16:56.160
Can you give me an example

960
01:16:56.160 --> 01:16:59.760
of what that interaction looks like?

961
01:16:59.760 --> 01:17:01.800
Give me an example where a man has seen you as a friend.

962
01:17:01.800 --> 01:17:02.960
What is he doing?

963
01:17:02.960 --> 01:17:05.320
What does that look like?

964
01:17:05.320 --> 01:17:09.240
Well, one guy said, oh, I was working or whatever.

965
01:17:09.240 --> 01:17:11.320
Oh, she just like one of the guys.

966
01:17:12.320 --> 01:17:14.360
And I always like to be cool

967
01:17:14.360 --> 01:17:16.880
because I grew up tomboy and stuff like that.

968
01:17:16.880 --> 01:17:20.160
So I'm trying to get into my femininity

969
01:17:20.160 --> 01:17:23.080
so that they won't see me like this.

970
01:17:23.080 --> 01:17:26.960
But, and then it just seemed like when I see men

971
01:17:26.960 --> 01:17:29.640
they walk away from me really fast.

972
01:17:29.640 --> 01:17:31.800
Like they just, and I don't know

973
01:17:31.800 --> 01:17:34.080
if it's the energy I'm giving off or what.

974
01:17:34.080 --> 01:17:36.480
And, you know, and I prayed it.

975
01:17:36.480 --> 01:17:37.800
Is this happening with guys at work

976
01:17:37.800 --> 01:17:39.960
or like where guys are saying that,

977
01:17:39.960 --> 01:17:42.200
or is it like even, so let's take you

978
01:17:42.200 --> 01:17:43.680
because you said you work around a lot of men.

979
01:17:43.680 --> 01:17:47.240
So let's, now let's out of a work setting

980
01:17:49.360 --> 01:17:52.560
are men kind of saying some of the same things?

981
01:17:53.560 --> 01:17:56.640
They just, they don't really look at me.

982
01:17:56.640 --> 01:17:59.760
Like, even if it's not in a work setting, I mean.

983
01:17:59.760 --> 01:18:00.680
Okay.

984
01:18:00.680 --> 01:18:03.920
Well, I definitely want us to like,

985
01:18:04.840 --> 01:18:09.360
I want you to rebuke that statement.

986
01:18:09.360 --> 01:18:12.640
She's just like one of the guys.

987
01:18:12.640 --> 01:18:14.400
We're not gonna pick that up.

988
01:18:15.240 --> 01:18:19.000
I want you to rebuke that, spend some time in prayer

989
01:18:19.040 --> 01:18:24.040
and break that off and speak some truth

990
01:18:24.240 --> 01:18:28.200
over you about who you are as a woman.

991
01:18:29.040 --> 01:18:32.800
Have you watched the Divine Feminine video yet?

992
01:18:32.800 --> 01:18:33.760
Yeah, I did.

993
01:18:33.760 --> 01:18:37.320
And that's what was really tugging at my heart

994
01:18:37.320 --> 01:18:41.000
because I know that I have challenged men

995
01:18:41.000 --> 01:18:43.800
because being in, you know, a male dominant field

996
01:18:43.800 --> 01:18:47.160
and growing up with, you know, all these boy cousins

997
01:18:47.160 --> 01:18:50.440
I have always wanted to be better than men.

998
01:18:50.440 --> 01:18:54.840
And sometimes I am more successful than some men.

999
01:18:54.840 --> 01:18:55.680
Yeah.

1000
01:18:55.680 --> 01:18:56.520
And so.

1001
01:18:56.520 --> 01:18:59.600
What I mean are masculinity is competitive.

1002
01:19:00.480 --> 01:19:03.960
That's just, men are just competitive, right?

1003
01:19:03.960 --> 01:19:05.920
And so when you've surrounded yourself with that,

1004
01:19:05.920 --> 01:19:08.120
like I can understand how that could,

1005
01:19:08.120 --> 01:19:11.360
you could take that role 100%.

1006
01:19:11.360 --> 01:19:14.800
But that's why I say, let's start doing some practicing

1007
01:19:14.800 --> 01:19:17.240
and like, let's just start breaking

1008
01:19:17.240 --> 01:19:19.440
some of those lies off of you.

1009
01:19:20.800 --> 01:19:23.960
Like, you are female.

1010
01:19:23.960 --> 01:19:26.560
I know, I tell myself that.

1011
01:19:26.560 --> 01:19:28.640
I'm like, you know, I know this is vulgar,

1012
01:19:28.640 --> 01:19:32.720
but I'm like, your body parts tell you who you are.

1013
01:19:32.720 --> 01:19:35.240
You're a woman, you look good, all right.

1014
01:19:35.240 --> 01:19:38.160
I have children, I have grandchildren.

1015
01:19:38.160 --> 01:19:40.320
Yes, yes.

1016
01:19:40.320 --> 01:19:44.400
So let's get you, like, in that video,

1017
01:19:45.000 --> 01:19:46.400
in that Divine Feminine video.

1018
01:19:48.400 --> 01:19:50.680
I think in that video, it's been a minute.

1019
01:19:50.680 --> 01:19:54.240
It's my favorite, it's my favorite video.

1020
01:19:54.240 --> 01:19:58.000
But that's kind of why oftentimes in phase two,

1021
01:19:58.000 --> 01:20:00.200
I always try to promote.

1022
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:08.160
you ladies to doing like wear the colorful tops and put the makeup on, do your hair,

1023
01:20:08.160 --> 01:20:14.640
wear the big earrings, wear some jewelry, kind of start stepping into that where then people

1024
01:20:14.640 --> 01:20:22.400
kind of see you like that. Making the eye contact with men and just start getting into practice with

1025
01:20:22.400 --> 01:20:30.320
that and getting more comfortable with that is always a good start. It kind of just activates

1026
01:20:30.320 --> 01:20:36.960
this like divine feminine in us when we can kind of step in like when I first was in this program

1027
01:20:36.960 --> 01:20:42.800
y'all like I wouldn't I didn't wear makeup like I still don't always love wearing makeup. I mean

1028
01:20:42.800 --> 01:20:48.080
I will do it like when I'm getting ready to go out and do something like going out to a nice dinner

1029
01:20:48.720 --> 01:20:55.120
but for years I just didn't wear makeup and I worked in a environment was around a lot of

1030
01:20:55.120 --> 01:21:01.280
Amish and Mennonite community so jewelry makeup all that kind of stuff was just you don't you

1031
01:21:01.280 --> 01:21:07.440
don't wear that stuff and so I had to even start practicing just wearing makeup to work

1032
01:21:08.480 --> 01:21:14.160
like that was a stretch for me so I would I mean I have videos of like me going live in

1033
01:21:14.160 --> 01:21:18.000
in our community because at the time we didn't have the app we had Facebook and so I would go

1034
01:21:18.000 --> 01:21:26.480
live and be like y'all like I put on lip gloss today like I'm stepping into my feminine right

1035
01:21:26.480 --> 01:21:31.840
now y'all I'm you know or I'd wear like we couldn't wear big earrings at work but I'd go

1036
01:21:31.840 --> 01:21:37.920
out and I would I would buy some bigger earrings I would you know wear the colorful tops and things

1037
01:21:37.920 --> 01:21:43.600
of that nature and I would say start there and and stepping into that but I think we really

1038
01:21:43.600 --> 01:21:51.840
definitely want to get you like let's break off this comment that men have spoken over you like

1039
01:21:51.840 --> 01:21:59.280
she's just like one of the guys and I would even give you the courage as you know the boldness

1040
01:21:59.280 --> 01:22:05.280
that if that if men say that to you again just be like I understand why you say that but you

1041
01:22:05.280 --> 01:22:16.080
know what I'm not a man I'm not a guy I'm a lady like that's who I am and there's nothing wrong with

1042
01:22:16.080 --> 01:22:26.560
that is that good yes thank you you are welcome all right ladies it's been fantastic to be here

1043
01:22:26.560 --> 01:22:33.200
with you um we are a few minutes past when I needed to cut off but it's all good um I'm gonna

1044
01:22:33.760 --> 01:22:38.400
celebrate myself because many of you ladies that have been on here before know I can go

1045
01:22:38.400 --> 01:22:45.040
really long time but I have gotten direct orders from Jackie that I have I cannot go past

1046
01:22:45.040 --> 01:22:52.560
the 75 minute mark so um ladies thank you again so much I am going to touch base with the team

1047
01:22:52.560 --> 01:23:01.600
and figure out um if there was a glitch and to get that eight o'clock zoom call

1048
01:23:02.880 --> 01:23:09.280
thing in the event tab so if you ladies want to jump on with ebony tonight um so and then all I

1049
01:23:09.280 --> 01:23:18.640
ask is that if you were on today and got your question asked on my one o'clock hold any questions

1050
01:23:18.640 --> 01:23:23.600
at the eight o'clock for any ladies that didn't come for the one o'clock to ask their question

1051
01:23:23.600 --> 01:23:26.640
at eight o'clock and then you can always circle back around does that make sense

1052
01:23:28.560 --> 01:23:33.360
okay Stephanie thank you so much and I know Stephanie I think you I had some things that

1053
01:23:33.360 --> 01:23:40.480
I think I need to respond to you so I will look in the app to do that um you like it when I keep

1054
01:23:40.480 --> 01:23:50.960
talking girl if you give me permission I I will like I'm a talker um I'm just quickly reading

1055
01:23:50.960 --> 01:23:56.320
through some of the the chats here so six months ago Laura began to deal with me about not dressing

1056
01:23:56.320 --> 01:24:01.600
to hide but dressing to feel feminine yes the feminist movement impurity culture movement

1057
01:24:01.600 --> 01:24:08.000
really affected me 100 percent I mean I understand and you'll hear Jackie at some point even talk

1058
01:24:08.000 --> 01:24:13.040
like we understand why there was a feminist movement like what was there was some things

1059
01:24:13.040 --> 01:24:20.560
that needed to take place unfortunately it also swung the pendulum where it's taken some what

1060
01:24:20.560 --> 01:24:25.520
the women really back from their divine feminine at the same time and so it's really just getting

1061
01:24:25.520 --> 01:24:33.680
things back into balance and order because again God is God is a God of order and balance and so

1062
01:24:33.680 --> 01:24:40.080
when he created woman he created it for order and balance and so there's nothing wrong with

1063
01:24:40.080 --> 01:24:48.240
being feminine there's nothing wrong with you know um yeah like there's it's we were we were

1064
01:24:48.240 --> 01:24:54.880
made on purpose y'all God looked at Adam said something not right here he needs a he needs a

1065
01:24:54.880 --> 01:24:59.680
woman so um so I hope that

1066
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:05.320
Courage is any any of you ladies that you know struggle with stepping in that divine feminine

1067
01:25:05.840 --> 01:25:11.080
And just it's practice. It's practice looking cute. Let's make a bond you here

1068
01:25:12.520 --> 01:25:16.360
Wear the earrings. Don't forget go shopping for your weddings this week ladies

1069
01:25:16.360 --> 01:25:23.060
I want to see pictures if you if you buy something bring it to the call next week. I want to see it

1070
01:25:23.060 --> 01:25:25.800
I want to I want to get excited. All right

1071
01:25:26.320 --> 01:25:32.320
Wear the earrings, I'll try to remember to wear my earrings again next week, too. I might actually have to wear these out today

1072
01:25:34.880 --> 01:25:38.240
All right, sorry, all right, I'm done now ladies

1073
01:25:38.280 --> 01:25:43.820
So I'm gonna release you have a blessed rest of your day, and I can't wait to see you next week