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Okay. Welcome, everyone. Again, so sorry about the tech difficulties and having two links

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in there tonight. We will work on getting that fixed. And we are so excited to be here

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tonight. For those of you that don't know my husband, this is Brian Cooper. He's my

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other half.

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I'm the husband.

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He's going to be sharing a little bit with us tonight. And I'm super excited to have

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our other two couples with us tonight. We have Justin and Christina Abdella, I think

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is how y'all is that how you say your last name? Awesome. And then Scotty and Olga and

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Scotty, what you'll tell us how to say your last name.

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Shire.

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Shire. Okay, I just didn't want to mess it up. So welcome. And Scotty and Olga are our

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newlyweds. They were just married on March 8. So congratulations to you all. Yeah, we're

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excited to hear your story a little bit more tonight. And we're gonna go ahead and I'm

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gonna pray for us. And then we're gonna start to share and what I'll do is, as soon as I'm

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done praying, we'll just open and Christina and Justin, if you all will share your story

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about kind of how God, you know, walked you through not only and even if you weren't a

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part of this community. So like Christina and Olga were in the last year single community.

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But even for Justin and Scotty, like, what did God lead you to do to heal before you

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met your now wives, but for the ladies that have been a part of our program and walk through

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heartwork, you know, what were some of the things that God really helped you work through,

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so that you could prepare to meet your spirit mates, your husband's sitting here with you

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tonight. And then tell us a little bit more about your story. And then, you know, what

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led to engagement and wedding and all the things. And we want each person in the couple

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to share whatever you're comfortable with sharing. And then that will also give us some

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good ideas of other things to chat about. And then I gave you guys some other questions

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that we'll touch on tonight as well. But let me go ahead and pray. I'll go to Christina

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and Justin first, and then we'll have Scotty and Olga share after that. Father, thank you

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so much for this night. God, we thank you for what you're doing and your kingdom families

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and marriages. God, through this community, we thank you for Jackie and David, and the

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family and legacy that they have in their own family, as well as in the family of God

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and into all of us. God, we just want to honor them tonight and just say thank you. We ask

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you to place your hedge of protection around them that you would guard and watch and keep

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over them even this week as some of their additional family members and the twins are

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in town. God, we ask you just bless this time. And you would just minister to them. We thank

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you for these couples that are here tonight. We thank you for what they represent, everything

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they've walked through that has brought them to this moment. And Lord, we thank you for

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your protection around their marriages and all the marriages that are to come still represented

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by each person that is a part of our community. And we just thank you that tonight would be

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a night of encouragement, a night where even people that just aren't sure, God, what you

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have for them and who their spirit mate is, God, that they would be reminded that you

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know them by name, God, that you see every need that they have and that you're working

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on their behalf, even when they don't see it, Lord. And we just thank you in advance

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for that in Jesus name. Amen. All right. Awesome. So Christina and Justin, we would love to

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hear a little bit about your process and all the things, and I'm just going to kind of

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pass it over to you all and we'll go from there.

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Okay, great. Well, thank you guys so much for having us. I really appreciate it. So

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I joined Jackie's group, I want to say in April, 2021, I think. I was invited by a friend

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who was also now married from the group as well. And I will be honest that I was very,

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very skeptical about the whole thing. So if there's anyone else out there who's very skeptical,

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that's okay. God will work with you even so. But I really did enjoy going through the heartwork.

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I read Jackie's book. I've been, I would say, on a healing process for many things

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in my background and past for like 20 years. And I thought I had dealt with everything

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to be honest, but reading her book really allowed me to see that I hadn't. And so I

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did do a lot of heartwork and that surprisingly, I think my journey involved less about healing

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in dating, so to speak, as it was dealing with other issues that I hadn't fully addressed with

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family and so forth. And it was like once I kind of found peace with all of that and had

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conversations with other people, like everything else kind of fell together. I will say that one

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thing that Jackie had said that really, really impacted me was that God wants this just as much

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as you do. I think, you know, I've been a Christian for most of my life, not a perfect

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Christian, but I've been a Christian and, you know, we're always told.

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God's enough, and God is enough, and I don't want to diminish that, but I think we start

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telling ourselves so much that it's almost bad to want to be married.

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It's bad to want a relationship because then you're diminishing God and saying that God's

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not enough.

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And when I really grasped a hold of that and started partnering with God and saying, all

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right, God, you want this just as much as I do, therefore, you need to help me, things

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just kind of fell into place.

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And so how Justin and I met is actually through friends.

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I've been in a friend group for a couple of years that I had met during COVID, and ironically,

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Justin had been friends with them before, like long before COVID, and had actually kind

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of gone off with another friend group, but because of COVID, that friend group had stopped

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hanging out.

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He kind of rejoined our group, and so we ended up both at the Whitewater Center, which you

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guys may or may not know what that is, but it's exactly as it sounds.

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It's a place where you can go whitewater rafting, and they have adventure courses and things

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like that, and they have concerts during the summer.

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And so he had met to bike ride with one of my friends, mountain bike, with one of my

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friends beforehand, and then everyone met for what they call River Jam, which is the

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concert.

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And so we just happened to be there.

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We didn't really interact during the whole thing, but I don't even know how we really

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started talking.

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But at the end, we started talking somehow, and then Justin ended up walking me to my

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car, and we started, we just talked for, I don't know, a long time.

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It was because we both had season passes, is why we started talking.

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Oh, okay.

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And we're going to have y'all settle a debate for us at some point later on this, but yeah,

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so we started talking, and it was an interesting conversation.

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And I remember thinking, is this guy my husband?

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Is this my husband?

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And that was, I won't, I mean, most, probably most women have thought of that, like when

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you meet some guy at some point, like, is this husband material, you know, when you're

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talking to someone, but it was a very different thought, like, is this my husband?

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Not like, is this guy someone who you could consider marrying?

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It was that specific.

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And I was like, no, that can't be.

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And we'll kind of probably dive into this a little bit later.

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Our list did not match at that point.

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But I was like, very intrigued by him.

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So we started hanging out, just, he just started, he just appeared out of nowhere.

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Like, I've hung out with this group for years, and he appeared, and then he just kept showing

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up everywhere.

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And I'm like, who is this guy?

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And where did he come from?

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Why is he like, part of everything now?

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And then we would plan groups, like we would go paddleboarding with a couple of our friends

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on Fridays, because we all got off early on Fridays during the summer.

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And we didn't plan it, it just kind of happened that people would cancel.

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And we would end up together, just the two of us.

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And that happened on a hike, that happened paddleboarding a couple times, that happened

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like going country line dancing.

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And so we just kept ending up alone.

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And again, it wasn't our, like, we weren't doing it on purpose, but that allowed us to

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really hang out.

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And because we had gone paddleboarding with a group of friends, and we were friends at

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that time, we would all complain about dating, you know, what was going on in the dating

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world.

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And so we had that friendship to start, even, it was a shortened friendship, but a friendship.

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And we were all blatantly honest about what we were looking for and not looking for, because

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we were all just talking about dating amongst friends.

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So when it came to dating, we could not hide, like, we couldn't pretend, like a lot of people

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can, like when you first meet, like, oh, yeah, I'm okay with that, or whatever, like, you

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already knew what all of our issues were going to be from that.

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So yeah, so we, so it just kind of grew organically from there.

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So it was only probably a couple months before we decided to date and we can go into this,

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I don't want to take up too much time, but we can go into this more about, like all the

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barriers we went through to make sure before we started dating and, but from the point

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of dating, we moved very quickly because I am a single, I was a single mom, not anymore.

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And you know, didn't want to mess around with that.

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And so we were engaged within three months or two months, two months married within five.

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And so as far as the whole one year single, or it used to be called, you know, 12 months

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or less when I was in the program, we got married at 13.

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So there goes my skepticism.

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And we've been married for almost three years now, our anniversary is in May, and it's been

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awesome.

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But Justin, I'll tell you the real story of how we met.

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And then we all, maybe later we can have you all weigh in on whose fault this is.

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So there's this group that was for singles in Charlotte.

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It was a matchmaker that started and it was on Facebook.

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And it was just kind of like a forum where people could post questions and everything.

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Well, Christina posted on there, like.

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are any guys that are into doing adventurous stuff, not just one hobby, but multiple hobbies

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because she likes doing a lot of different things. And a lot of guys will do maybe like

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one adventurous thing. So I responded to her post and said that I like to do is different

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adventurous things. And then she came back with like what. So then I responded with like

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scuba diving, skydiving, hiking, paddle boarding, and some stuff like that. But I didn't ask

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a question afterwards. So she liked my post. But since she didn't comment back to me, she

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just liked it. I'm like, Okay, well, she's not interested. So move on. And since I didn't

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message her back, she was and I didn't have a question. Well, I didn't message her. I

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just have a question on it. She was like, Well, he didn't ask me a question. I liked

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it. So balls on his court. So we both blame the other person. So we would have actually

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met each other about five months earlier had that connection actually work. So it's funny

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how God just keeps giving us so many chances because if it wasn't for the multiple chances,

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we would have never met. And we actually didn't find out about that post until we were actually

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seriously dating and removing all our prior dating stuff. And it was when I was deleting

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my profile that I saw that message interaction between us. Yeah, so and if it was really

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interesting is if you go back through our life, like our life stories, we were so many

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times one decision away from meeting. Like he lived he lived in Colorado and almost joined

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the Air Force. I was going to go the Air Force Academy. We were both in San Diego. Like I

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went to school in San Diego. He was in San Diego all the time at the time. Like there's

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just so many points throughout our history that it's like we were missing each other

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somehow. And so I just yeah, so we joke at that. So guys, keep and ladies, you know this

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and guys, you do too. You know, everyone complains about that when you're like on dating apps

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and so forth that people don't keep the conversation going, ask a question, keep the conversation

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going. So we know you're interested. There's a tip for you.

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I think I'm gonna have to say Justin wins this one, in my opinion, just saying he commented

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on your on your post. That was the first engagement. That was the first connection.

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Right, but he commented, I asked a question. He responded, but didn't continue the conversation

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or say, let me know if you would be interested in doing these things sometimes. So I was

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like, I don't know what to do with this. So I just liked it to say like, okay, I'm still

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engaging with you. And it's not actually messaging like this is not a private message. This is

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just like commenting. So I say it's his fault because he didn't continue the conversation.

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So that's so funny. Well, yeah. So I thought you meant like, which one was it that we met

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here at this post point and that was the initial or at the when you all started getting together.

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So that's what my vote was for. I'm not gonna Yeah, I won't hash out who was the winner

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of the other thing. But I love this. It makes me think of I don't even know if this is the

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right term. But it makes me think of a meet cute, you know, like you guys were connecting,

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you know, even in that beginning moment. But one of the things I want to draw out here

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is not only that, you know, you all have these kind of thoughts in your head. But literally,

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you're like, you know, Justin's like, she's not interested because she you know, whatever,

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the next step didn't happen in his mind. And you were like, he didn't ask me a question. So

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I just want to encourage all of our community at this point, you all don't get in your heads

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about this stuff. If the person if you want, if you are liking the interaction with them,

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like, just keep being you. And if you normally would ask a question, ask a question. If you

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would normally like respond, just respond. And let's just see what God wants to do. Maybe a

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little bit of this, it makes me think about how much coaching I do through heartwork,

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encouraging people to come out of hiding and all different kinds of ways.

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And these are some of the ways the enemy tries to get us to go back into hiding,

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in a sense, whether we recognize it or not, is when we're interacting with people,

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you know, on the apps, or even in person or texting after, and people pull back because we

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get all in our heads and fear and all that kind of stuff. So I want to encourage you all on that.

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I love that part of your story. Thank you so much for sharing that. I do have one other thing I was

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hoping you all would share as a part of the beginning part of your story. And we'll unpack

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it more as we go throughout tonight in the time. But when you all met, you were a single mama.

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Okay, so let's let's just chat about that for a minute. From the perspective of Justin, let's ask

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Justin first. How was that for you coming in meeting her and you know, getting that connection

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growing and knowing she was a single mom, one of the biggest things people are afraid of is

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hey, I don't know that I'm going to meet anybody that's going to love my kids. And we touched on

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this even in our last love story. But again, I love to hear the way different people process,

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you know, from Justin's perspective, and then also, Christina, on your perspective, was there

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anything like God was doing and saying to you to really help you not fear that and just really,

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you know, believe that God had someone for you?

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So for me, I was always open to the single mom part. That part wasn't really as hard for me. It

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was more of the prior marriage was very hard for me, because I always grew up and believed that

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marriage was forever. So I had on my list, I would never date anyone who was married.

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And I actually divorced. I was divorced. She was divorced for years. So she wasn't

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still married. I just always had that on my list. And I actually rejected people that were divorced

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and even would like stay on all my profiles that I wouldn't consider anyone who was

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married prior. So if it wasn't for how our friendship developed, and we became so close,

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there's a good chance I wouldn't have gave her a fair chance because of that rule on my list,

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which I'm glad I gave her a chance. And so I'm glad I didn't follow my list and ended up

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caving on that. I see a little sneaky Jesus here, too, if you will, you know, like he just brought

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you all together as friends, y'all let your walls down. And we're going to talk more about your list

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because we talked a little bit last night. And I really want our community to hear how God helped

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you all let go of your list and some of the different ways that that was kind of a barrier

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before. But it just sounds like God was removing all the barriers so that you all would just be

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open to each other. Would you agree with that? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So Christina, how was it for you

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when you were going through this process as a single mom and praying for your spirit mate?

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You know, how was that for you? Was there anything you had to overcome so that you would keep walking

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towards your spirit mate who is now Justin? Um, I know, I don't think that that was really

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a barrier for me. It was more making sure that I found someone who was truly going to see my

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daughter as a blessing and a gift, not a burden, not something you have to put up with. Um, and

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I, I was very, I didn't date for years after my divorce, um, because I wanted that time with her

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and I wanted to make sure I was healed and I wanted to make sure I knew what I wanted

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before dating. And my daughter had never met anyone that I had dated until Justin. Um,

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and so I think that was very important, but my, so we, ironically, my daughter ended up meeting

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Justin again, cause we were part of a friends group before we actually started dating. Um,

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but as she saw him more, she would always come running to me and be like, why are you dating

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Justin? And I mean, from day one, she was like, you should marry that guy. You should marry that.

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Um, that was that, that was it for me. Um, having that reassurance from her because

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her father, her, her father, my ex had already been remarried or dating someone and remarried

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for a number of years. And she, she does not like her step-mom. Um, and I, that dating process was

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very hard on her. So I knew she would be honest. You know, I knew that she would be honest and I

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wanted to make sure that she didn't have that same experience with anyone I dated, that she

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really was actually comfortable with whoever was brought into her life. And she and Justin,

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you know, are amazing together. And Justin's been an amazing father. He's, he really is her

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father. Like, and I love that, like her, um, I don't believe in divorce either, just to be clear.

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Like, I don't think anyone starts off getting divorced, but my ex is a bit of an abusive jerk.

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Um, there are times where it's necessary to do that. And so I love that Justin has really

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provided that, um, that father role that she doesn't actually really have.

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I love that. And one of the things, a couple of things before I kind of start to segue over to

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Scotty and Olga, um, for a little bit that I also want to pull out here that was really important

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that you said about your daughter. I think initially, um, you were very careful about

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exposing her to people that you were dating, you know, and she was able to meet Justin in

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an environment that was safe, um, you know, and all of the things, and then her heart

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was in it, you know, and so many people, um, don't realize how important that is.

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And not every child is going to, you know, be there, but for the most part,

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the younger kids from what I've experienced, um, they're wanting that role.

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to be filled to some degree.

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The older kids, maybe it's a little different,

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but I just love the way you all have, you know,

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really cared for her well in this process.

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At least that's what's standing out or coming out to me.

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And I just want to say too,

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Brian and I also both are divorced

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and that's not something either one of us

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ever even had in our minds

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or thought we would go on that journey,

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but God absolutely went on a rescue mission for me.

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I would say the same for you, would you agree?

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And so just want you to know,

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like we're in that camp with you.

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We never thought we'd be in that camp, but we are.

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We are, but now we're together and it's amazing

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and we're so grateful.

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So thank you for sharing those parts of your story.

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We're gonna come back in a little bit.

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I would love for y'all just to be prepared

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to share about your list and how you overcame those.

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And we'll come back to that here in just a little bit, okay?

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Awesome, thank you.

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So Scottie and Olga,

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can you tell us a little bit about your journey

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and how God brought you together?

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What was some healing you all,

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God led you to do before you came together?

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Yes.

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Hi.

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Hi.

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Where to start?

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Yeah, I had been like actively dating

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for like three and a half years

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and I knew I wanted to meet somebody,

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and I'd been a Christian for, I think, seven years.

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But my journey, my dating journey was not really working.

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And then, yeah, God pushed me to go

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and join the last year single group.

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And I think that was a big part of my heart healing.

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Heart healing.

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And that was, I think, just probably a few key things

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that unblocked my heart to be ready to meet Scottie.

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And once those couple of things shifted,

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then we met really fast.

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Then I went back on dating

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and then we met, I think, two weeks later.

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So after that, and then, yeah,

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we got engaged after three months

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and then married another six months later.

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So, yeah.

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So when it all happened, it all just, yeah.

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And I think on the way to,

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one of my prayers too had been

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for healing for all my relationships.

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And I think through us as well,

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God's really used us like in a small group

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and then also bringing people to the Lord

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and just our community is just,

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I've gone from being a hermit at home

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to having this enormous Christian community

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and a lot of people coming to God

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and kind of living in community with others.

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So he kind of, when he delivered,

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he just exploded everything, yeah.

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Like every part of my life, yeah.

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Financially and relationships.

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And then, yeah, then for our wedding too,

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we had people flying from everywhere too.

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So I feel like when he restored,

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he kind of just overflowed on everything, yeah.

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So it's been pretty amazing, yeah.

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And that's beautiful.

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It's giving me chills.

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I'm gonna have to hear more about that here in a minute

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if you're okay with that.

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Yeah.

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I would love to have you share a little bit too.

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For me, my dating kind of wasn't,

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I wasn't dating people who were,

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I became a Christian in 2011.

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And then from then I was basically kind of just backsliding.

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So I wasn't really dating people

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who were following the Lord and all that stuff.

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And so that was just all bad.

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But then within the last probably year and a half,

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I started attending the church that we go to now.

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And I just got really involved at church

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and then I quit drinking.

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And then once I started to do that

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and really serve a lot at church,

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that's when basically I met Olga on the Upwork app.

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And that's when kind of everything turned around for me.

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And I wanted to get married.

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I know I did for sure.

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But yeah, and we have,

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we have the same kind of interests as you guys.

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We like to go paddle boarding, floating, hiking.

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We're gonna go skiing next weekend.

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We live in Utah.

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So we're gonna go skiing, snowboarding next weekend.

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So, but yeah, it's basically when I just started.

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quit backsliding. And that's when God started moving in my

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life a lot. So

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yeah, that's so good. Yeah, that you shared a big part of that

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was not only the things that you stopped doing, but the things

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that you started doing. Yeah, so I'm just what I'm wanting to

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pull out some of these really important nuggets that you all

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are talking about both couples, for our community to hear them

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you all it's not just what we stopped doing and change

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behaviors. It's what we start adding to our lives. He started

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serving, he started going to church and just being there more

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faithfully being in community. And now what Olga shared, now

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Olga said, this is exactly what I heard her say, I went from a

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hermit to this big, enormous community. And God started just

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overflowing every area of their life. Well, for her of her life,

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probably blessing on to Scottie as well with that. But just I

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want you all to hear that, you know, God, God changed that

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after he touched on these significant things in her life.

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That's what she was sharing on. So actually, I got a very

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important question, which I think is on a lot of people's

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minds. Can you describe floating for us? I'd love to hear more

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about

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Oh, just floating down the river like an inner tube. Yeah. Okay.

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I have a blow up kayak. So that's what I take. But it's I

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like it. Yeah. Fantastic. It's a

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Okay, I can't believe you don't know what floating is. Yeah, you

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guys should try it.

377
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I love that. That sounds

378
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Yeah, or you could even take a paddleboard down the river, you

379
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know, inner tube.

380
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That's so fun. It's fun. I just imagine someone just like going

381
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down the lake just kind of like, yeah, pretty much.

382
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Oh my god. It's like therapy.

383
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Well, I love this. So this is what I this is really cool, too.

384
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I think it's really always neat for me. We have two couples

385
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that I've never met. In addition to Brian and I and both

386
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couples have now found even though y'all live in different

387
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places, another couple who enjoys doing the same kind of

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thing. So y'all community connection. I love how this kind

389
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of stuff happens. Olga, do you mind to share a little bit more

390
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we have a lot of people that have battled financial

391
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struggles in our community. And one of the big things that

392
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happened for me and my heartwork and healing was when Jackie made

393
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the statement, I don't remember exactly how she said it. But

394
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basically how if we're stuck financially, it's heartwork,

395
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like we need healing. And I remember that being such a big

396
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like, oh my gosh, like, okay, so Lord, where do I need more

397
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healing so that I can get freedom and breakthrough in my

398
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finances? Because there were some specific areas I had been

399
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praying for. And I've shared a couple times that mine led a lot

400
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back to my orphan mentalities and limiting belief systems and

401
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the way I was looking at God in relation to kind of even though

402
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I knew I was his daughter, I felt internally, because of my

403
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past, like I was under the table begging for crumbs. But that

404
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isn't where I was, I God had a seat for me at the table with

405
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him. And so I talked about that a lot. But Olga, that stood out

406
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to me when you said not only did God heal you in all these

407
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different ways and led you to Scotty, but like God gave you

408
00:28:22.480 --> 00:28:25.200
all these blessings and all these different areas, including

409
00:28:25.200 --> 00:28:28.840
financial, do you mind to just share for a few minutes on that?

410
00:28:30.480 --> 00:28:35.640
Sure. Yeah, I think the financial piece came first

411
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before the relationship stuff, but it was kind of connected.

412
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And it was just more based on identity. So I'm just inheriting

413
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the things from my family about what they believed about money.

414
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Like they had come out of World War Two, and then immigrated to

415
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Australia as refugees. And so they had like a belief in

416
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scarcity. And when I became a Christian, often people like

417
00:29:04.720 --> 00:29:08.680
have to learn, oh, don't be selfish. But God had to show me,

418
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oh, hey, we're gonna go to the store, we're gonna get you some

419
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lip gloss, you're gonna get a dress, you're gonna get all

420
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these things. And he actually had to teach me how to look

421
00:29:18.360 --> 00:29:21.120
teach me how to look after myself and give myself those

422
00:29:21.120 --> 00:29:25.400
things. And, um, yeah, I used to be a lot stressed about money.

423
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And he had me tithe and give and I had massive breakthroughs,

424
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like I used to have massive fear around money. And by giving I,

425
00:29:39.360 --> 00:29:46.000
he cleared all of those away, like and just had me know him as

426
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the provider. And it was more. Yeah, I'm just through the acts

427
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of doing that and overcoming those things. It took away all

428
00:29:59.560 --> 00:30:00.040
my fear.

429
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:05.520
run money, and just knowing that he's got me, that he's looking after me, that I would

430
00:30:05.520 --> 00:30:09.240
never lack, and yeah, those things came first.

431
00:30:09.240 --> 00:30:14.840
Like one day he literally was like, I was stressing about spending some money on some

432
00:30:14.840 --> 00:30:19.360
nicer food or whatever, and then he just was like, oh God, we are not poor.

433
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I own everything.

434
00:30:20.360 --> 00:30:21.360
Yeah.

435
00:30:21.360 --> 00:30:27.680
So he was like, oh, I was like, oh yeah, you're right, like you're in charge.

436
00:30:27.680 --> 00:30:33.520
And yeah, so that was, identity was a big thing, and then when it came to relationships,

437
00:30:33.520 --> 00:30:34.640
it was the same thing.

438
00:30:34.640 --> 00:30:41.880
Like I had concepts about myself, like who I was, what I deserved, and a lot of that

439
00:30:41.880 --> 00:30:47.880
was inherited, and I know Jackie teaches a lot about going back to the blueprint that

440
00:30:47.880 --> 00:30:56.680
God has for you, and that was one of the keys for me for sure, is like God knew that I was,

441
00:30:56.680 --> 00:31:06.920
like I was knit in my mother's womb, so the things that like, I guess, happened to me

442
00:31:06.920 --> 00:31:20.520
or that I experienced don't define who I am, and yeah, so he had a blueprint for me, and

443
00:31:20.520 --> 00:31:29.120
then when I aligned with that, I was like, okay, if you knew, if you knew who I am, then

444
00:31:29.120 --> 00:31:35.480
that must still be in effect, so then you're in control of everything else, and so yeah.

445
00:31:35.480 --> 00:31:40.640
So both of the times, it was just seeing him as the provider, and I was like, okay, well,

446
00:31:40.640 --> 00:31:45.920
I've tried like the relationship on my, thing on my own, and I think when I was doing it,

447
00:31:45.920 --> 00:31:53.320
I was doing it from that place of like, well, like your own sense of who you are, and then

448
00:31:53.320 --> 00:31:58.720
when you have a false idea of who you are, then you're also trying to get people to fix

449
00:31:58.720 --> 00:32:04.120
that image of you, or then you're relating to them from that place, and then you start

450
00:32:04.120 --> 00:32:08.120
putting things on other people, like you need to do this for me, so that I'm okay, or other

451
00:32:08.160 --> 00:32:16.960
stuff like that, and then it just starts not working, so when I was, yeah, just gave that

452
00:32:16.960 --> 00:32:26.600
to God, then he, I don't know, it's like in both cases, financially, and otherwise, it was, yeah,

453
00:32:26.600 --> 00:32:33.040
it was a lot about surrender, like, okay, you've got this, and I'm willing to have your version

454
00:32:33.040 --> 00:32:38.640
of it, and you know, I haven't succeeded myself, otherwise I would have succeeded by now, so this

455
00:32:38.640 --> 00:32:44.640
must be something I'm not getting, and I'm willing to know what that is, and yeah, so I would often

456
00:32:44.640 --> 00:32:50.320
just talk to God about it, I was like, it was kind of hard to me, for me even to believe, okay,

457
00:32:50.320 --> 00:32:58.640
there's someone for me, but then he would tell me, oh, he's like about meeting Scotty, that he was

458
00:32:58.640 --> 00:33:07.600
like, your husband's so excited to meet you, which is really cool. Man, God is so good, you all,

459
00:33:07.600 --> 00:33:13.760
I hope that you all are really taking a lot out of what she just shared, and these couples that

460
00:33:13.760 --> 00:33:21.920
are here pouring into you from their stories, so many good things here, surrender just really,

461
00:33:21.920 --> 00:33:27.680
as you were sharing, Olga stood out, so y'all, just want to remind you to get out that supernatural

462
00:33:27.680 --> 00:33:33.840
surrender, that permission slip, and reread that over and over and over again, put it up where you

463
00:33:33.840 --> 00:33:41.120
can see it, you know, and just remember that God is working supernaturally in so many ways, like she

464
00:33:41.120 --> 00:33:47.360
said, you can apply what she said, Olga, I'm not poor, I own everything, you can apply that to anything,

465
00:33:47.920 --> 00:33:53.760
and that was so amazing, so I have a fun question for you, for Scotty and Olga first, and then I'm

466
00:33:53.760 --> 00:33:59.040
gonna go to Christina and Justin, and I'll let Brian share too, because I don't, I'm like, last time

467
00:33:59.040 --> 00:34:04.560
I'm like, I felt bad, he was like my arm candy last time, because we had so many couples, we just didn't

468
00:34:04.560 --> 00:34:11.679
have time to share too much, but what has been one of your favorite things to do as a couple

469
00:34:11.679 --> 00:34:16.159
together, like what have you enjoyed, it could be something you learned together, something you went

470
00:34:16.159 --> 00:34:23.440
and did together, so this is just a fun question. Jamaica. Oh, aside from, oh, we just had a honeymoon

471
00:34:23.440 --> 00:34:30.400
in Jamaica, that was pretty fun, that was really fun, and the other one, the other one

472
00:34:30.960 --> 00:34:37.120
was, that comes to mind is like, we have an electric, well, Scotty has an electric bike, and then we went

473
00:34:37.120 --> 00:34:42.320
like looking at houses, and we just spontaneously were like, hey, let's take the electric bike, so we

474
00:34:42.320 --> 00:34:47.440
doubled on that, it's a two-seater electric bike that she just done, and we just went for a ride,

475
00:34:47.920 --> 00:34:53.040
we were going like 40 miles an hour, yeah, down the road, and it was really fun, just being spontaneous

476
00:34:53.040 --> 00:34:59.840
is one thing that we like to, yeah, get up and do stuff, like random fun things.

477
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.800
things. Yeah, so he makes things really fun. And I think he liked

478
00:35:04.800 --> 00:35:09.200
that about me too. He was like, I think, with other people, they

479
00:35:09.200 --> 00:35:12.000
had been a bit couch potatoes. And then I was always like,

480
00:35:12.000 --> 00:35:15.000
Hey, yeah, I'll do that. I'll do that. And he was like, what she

481
00:35:15.000 --> 00:35:17.400
wants to do? Yeah, that was one thing that was like, I was

482
00:35:17.400 --> 00:35:20.080
really looking for is like, I did not want I wouldn't I

483
00:35:20.080 --> 00:35:23.280
wanted someone who was adventurous. Like live in Utah,

484
00:35:23.280 --> 00:35:27.520
we have some of the best things to do like outdoorsy like stuff

485
00:35:27.520 --> 00:35:31.520
like camping, hiking, hunting, like, tons of stuff. So I was

486
00:35:31.520 --> 00:35:34.320
like, I don't want someone to be a couch potato, like, and you

487
00:35:34.320 --> 00:35:36.560
just see God's glory. When you get up in the mountains, you're

488
00:35:36.560 --> 00:35:38.840
like, this was all created from God. So

489
00:35:39.880 --> 00:35:43.360
yeah, I love that. And ladies. I mean, guys, too. But ladies, we

490
00:35:43.360 --> 00:35:48.160
tell you all the time guys want to date someone who's fun. Yeah.

491
00:35:48.720 --> 00:35:52.480
And I've heard even ladies like I go to bed, they'll say things

492
00:35:52.480 --> 00:35:56.360
like I go to bed at eight. And I get it. I get it. I get up so

493
00:35:56.360 --> 00:36:00.800
early you all I wake up like this internal clock. But here's

494
00:36:00.800 --> 00:36:04.960
the thing when I was dating, especially after I met Brian,

495
00:36:04.960 --> 00:36:08.760
you better believe if we were going to have a zoom date, or if

496
00:36:08.760 --> 00:36:12.120
he was going to be in town, I stayed up no matter like I

497
00:36:12.120 --> 00:36:16.320
stayed up, you know, and I let go of my bedtime or whatever. I

498
00:36:16.320 --> 00:36:18.400
mean, I really didn't have an eight o'clock, but some people

499
00:36:18.400 --> 00:36:23.400
do. But I did, you know, like take get out of my comfort zone,

500
00:36:23.400 --> 00:36:26.520
I guess is what I'm trying to emphasize. And I think, you

501
00:36:26.520 --> 00:36:29.000
know, just based off of what you all shared, I love that, that

502
00:36:29.000 --> 00:36:33.240
that was something that Scotty was attracted to in Olga, that

503
00:36:33.240 --> 00:36:36.760
she wanted to go and do fun things and was up for it, you

504
00:36:36.760 --> 00:36:41.680
know, and I love that. I'm, I'll let Brian share what was one of

505
00:36:41.680 --> 00:36:44.160
your favorite things that we did just real quick. And then I'm

506
00:36:44.160 --> 00:36:45.920
going to come over to Christina and Justin,

507
00:36:46.200 --> 00:36:48.920
traveling, if I compare traveling and coffee together,

508
00:36:48.920 --> 00:36:53.080
it's it's been a lot of fun. We went to Hawaii. Actually, one

509
00:36:53.080 --> 00:36:59.400
year ago today. No, it's so sad. So just traveling. And it's

510
00:36:59.400 --> 00:37:03.040
just fun experiencing things. And hey, I can be I'm one of

511
00:37:03.040 --> 00:37:06.400
those. Hey, look at that. Hey, look at that. One of those when

512
00:37:06.400 --> 00:37:09.680
you're driving and traveling. So and she humors me and she

513
00:37:09.680 --> 00:37:14.400
enjoys it. And we fun trying coffee and new new food. I'm

514
00:37:14.400 --> 00:37:17.720
kind of a foodie too. So yeah, just exploring and having that

515
00:37:17.720 --> 00:37:20.400
to share. She enjoys that too. So that's been a lot of fun for

516
00:37:21.200 --> 00:37:25.280
Yeah, yeah, Kenton. He did say traveling and coffee. He loves

517
00:37:25.280 --> 00:37:28.240
coffee. You all if you want to talk to Brian about coffee,

518
00:37:28.240 --> 00:37:31.320
he'll talk to you all day long. Yeah, coffee. That was a non

519
00:37:31.320 --> 00:37:36.360
negotiable. It was on it was like in his dating profile must

520
00:37:36.360 --> 00:37:38.920
love coffee. No, it wasn't there. But it should have been

521
00:37:40.400 --> 00:37:42.600
our first day was going to coffee. She would be like, how

522
00:37:42.600 --> 00:37:44.400
about tea? I probably would have just ghosted her.

523
00:37:44.400 --> 00:37:47.600
There. Oh, my gosh.

524
00:37:49.840 --> 00:37:53.320
Christina and Justin. Okay, so if you want to share like, what

525
00:37:53.320 --> 00:37:55.920
was your most like one of your favorite things or something you

526
00:37:55.920 --> 00:37:59.360
learn together, and then I would love for you to share about some

527
00:37:59.360 --> 00:38:02.520
of the things with your list. Justin started sharing a little

528
00:38:02.520 --> 00:38:06.400
bit about his but like if you always share about your list and

529
00:38:06.400 --> 00:38:10.040
how God helped you get rid of those so that you can meet each

530
00:38:10.040 --> 00:38:11.000
other, that would be great.

531
00:38:11.840 --> 00:38:15.320
Sure. So I think I mean, I think we're like, you guys as well. We

532
00:38:15.960 --> 00:38:19.760
we love to travel. We love to do adventures. I always tell people

533
00:38:19.880 --> 00:38:22.440
it's like being married to like your best friend. Like I feel

534
00:38:22.440 --> 00:38:23.960
like every night's like a sleepover. Like what are we

535
00:38:23.960 --> 00:38:25.560
gonna do today? What do you want to do today? Like you want to

536
00:38:25.560 --> 00:38:27.880
play a game? You want to? You want to go for a walk? What are

537
00:38:27.880 --> 00:38:30.120
we going to do? Like we're always doing. That's what I

538
00:38:30.120 --> 00:38:32.320
love. Like we're always doing something even when we're doing

539
00:38:32.320 --> 00:38:36.000
nothing. We've been on a 50 state adventure with my I

540
00:38:36.000 --> 00:38:38.960
started it before I met him with my daughter. But in the three,

541
00:38:39.200 --> 00:38:41.680
almost three years we've been together. We've been to 37

542
00:38:41.680 --> 00:38:44.800
states together. 33 with our daughter, we're gonna hopefully

543
00:38:44.800 --> 00:38:48.320
wrap up all the states this by the end of the summer.

544
00:38:49.400 --> 00:38:50.400
All the ones from McKenzie.

545
00:38:50.440 --> 00:38:55.040
Yeah. But and we really, we really just support each other's

546
00:38:55.200 --> 00:38:59.360
random dreams as well. Like, I've had a childhood dream of

547
00:38:59.400 --> 00:39:02.160
acting and we actually got to be in like God's Not Dead five

548
00:39:02.160 --> 00:39:04.560
together. If you watch it will be the extras in the background.

549
00:39:04.560 --> 00:39:08.800
You'll see us. He goes running. I don't really run but I'll come

550
00:39:08.800 --> 00:39:12.440
cheer on. So, you know, we're just we're always doing

551
00:39:12.440 --> 00:39:16.680
something. We're always up for an adventure as well. As far as

552
00:39:16.680 --> 00:39:19.120
our list. It's really funny that you say coffee because I would

553
00:39:19.120 --> 00:39:22.920
say I had a list and then I had a sub list. On my sub list was

554
00:39:22.960 --> 00:39:29.560
cannot like coffee. I'm the tea person. And ironically, Justin

555
00:39:29.560 --> 00:39:33.520
does not like coffee. So it worked out well. So neither of

556
00:39:33.560 --> 00:39:39.080
us drink coffee. But I would say that I think a mistake a lot of

557
00:39:39.080 --> 00:39:41.720
people make men and women, especially if you've gone

558
00:39:41.720 --> 00:39:43.800
through a divorce or something like that you do one of two

559
00:39:43.800 --> 00:39:48.760
things you either just go wild and do anything and everything

560
00:39:48.760 --> 00:39:52.000
that's out there walking around or you kind of overcorrect and

561
00:39:52.000 --> 00:39:55.880
you're like, I don't want anything that looks remotely

562
00:39:56.040 --> 00:39:59.480
like what I was in previously and I would say that was me.

563
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.200
list three miles long because of everything I had gone through.

564
00:40:05.560 --> 00:40:09.280
And, um, yeah, it was a long list.

565
00:40:09.360 --> 00:40:16.400
Um, and then, so I joke about that sublet, but that sub list also

566
00:40:16.400 --> 00:40:21.560
included things like can't have facial hair, um, can't have tattoos, which

567
00:40:21.560 --> 00:40:23.200
you can't see, but Justin has tattoos.

568
00:40:23.560 --> 00:40:27.960
Um, basically most of what is on, was on my list, Justin is, and

569
00:40:27.960 --> 00:40:29.920
most of what was on his list, I am.

570
00:40:30.200 --> 00:40:33.800
So, uh, it is important to let go and let God.

571
00:40:34.280 --> 00:40:37.320
And as you can see, I actually don't let him shave it now, which is really funny.

572
00:40:37.320 --> 00:40:41.440
Like I prefer now that he has facial hair, which I never would

573
00:40:41.440 --> 00:40:42.200
have thought that would be me.

574
00:40:42.200 --> 00:40:45.680
So God can definitely work, uh, in your hearts and change you.

575
00:40:46.120 --> 00:40:51.640
Um, so I would, I would definitely just surrender that to God and be open-minded.

576
00:40:51.840 --> 00:40:58.920
Um, God is, I wish we had more time because I could tell you so

577
00:40:58.920 --> 00:41:00.560
much about the creativity of God.

578
00:41:00.640 --> 00:41:05.200
And if you really let him do things for you, because I have things far beyond

579
00:41:05.200 --> 00:41:08.280
just stuff between Justin and I, as far as financially, like the things

580
00:41:08.280 --> 00:41:13.040
you have amazing stories, like God is so creative, don't try to put him in a box.

581
00:41:13.880 --> 00:41:17.520
Um, so if you, I remember Jackie just being like, just go on five

582
00:41:17.520 --> 00:41:19.760
dates with anybody, you know, and figure out what you like, don't like.

583
00:41:19.760 --> 00:41:23.200
I hadn't, that wasn't what I did, but I, I understand the concept of that.

584
00:41:23.200 --> 00:41:28.400
And I kind of did date around and I would never, honestly, kind of like what he

585
00:41:28.400 --> 00:41:31.040
said, if we had not been friends, I don't know that we would have considered each

586
00:41:31.040 --> 00:41:31.440
other.

587
00:41:31.480 --> 00:41:36.720
So I think, and that was how I really wanted to meet a husband was friendship.

588
00:41:37.040 --> 00:41:40.120
But in this world, it's so hard, but again, the creativity of God.

589
00:41:40.480 --> 00:41:42.280
So I was like, I just don't see it happening.

590
00:41:42.280 --> 00:41:45.080
Cause my friends group that we're talking about is pretty much all female.

591
00:41:45.480 --> 00:41:47.160
Um, there's no guys in the group.

592
00:41:47.160 --> 00:41:49.360
So how was I ever going to meet a guy in my friend group?

593
00:41:49.360 --> 00:41:50.000
You know what I mean?

594
00:41:50.320 --> 00:41:51.120
But it happens.

595
00:41:51.120 --> 00:41:53.680
Like God, God can work in mysterious ways.

596
00:41:53.960 --> 00:41:55.320
Um, yeah.

597
00:41:56.160 --> 00:41:58.200
And my, one of my things was that I wanted to be proof.

598
00:41:58.240 --> 00:42:03.200
Like I, what happened with me going, this is my husband is what I wanted my husband

599
00:42:03.200 --> 00:42:03.440
to do.

600
00:42:03.440 --> 00:42:05.680
Like I wanted him to be like, oh, this is it.

601
00:42:05.680 --> 00:42:08.720
And I would say that is the complete opposite of how our love story has gone.

602
00:42:08.720 --> 00:42:13.800
Like, I feel like I probably pursued him more than he, so also just be open to

603
00:42:13.800 --> 00:42:14.080
that.

604
00:42:14.080 --> 00:42:18.520
Like, it doesn't have to look like the fairy tale romance that you want, like

605
00:42:18.560 --> 00:42:19.560
that you think you want.

606
00:42:21.800 --> 00:42:22.480
That's so good.

607
00:42:22.480 --> 00:42:28.680
And I, I do think, you know, Justin, do you feel like when she did show interest

608
00:42:28.680 --> 00:42:30.680
in you that you then reciprocated?

609
00:42:33.560 --> 00:42:36.760
No, so you are an anomaly.

610
00:42:39.520 --> 00:42:40.080
That's awesome.

611
00:42:40.360 --> 00:42:41.120
Well, that's okay.

612
00:42:41.120 --> 00:42:42.040
So this is good.

613
00:42:42.040 --> 00:42:49.280
So not everyone is going to follow kind of our guideline of, Hey, ladies or men

614
00:42:49.320 --> 00:42:53.920
were wanting, you know, the other person to recip, like you're reciprocating their

615
00:42:53.920 --> 00:42:56.160
behavior versus just pursue, pursue, pursue.

616
00:42:56.480 --> 00:43:01.480
And, and I will say they were doing it again within their community.

617
00:43:01.600 --> 00:43:04.840
People knew both of them and introduced them.

618
00:43:04.840 --> 00:43:08.480
So I want everybody to hear it through that lens as well.

619
00:43:08.480 --> 00:43:14.520
And I think that that's important, like, if you don't know someone at all, um, to

620
00:43:14.520 --> 00:43:18.840
just keep pursuing them, if they're not pursuing back, I would caution you on

621
00:43:18.840 --> 00:43:21.920
that, but I love that God worked in you all.

622
00:43:21.920 --> 00:43:27.400
So I'm curious, Justin, are you willing to share like what caused you to not

623
00:43:27.400 --> 00:43:28.400
pursue back?

624
00:43:28.400 --> 00:43:32.520
Cause I think our ladies, I don't know about everyone else, but I'm curious.

625
00:43:32.520 --> 00:43:35.920
Like, what caused you to not pursue back?

626
00:43:36.080 --> 00:43:41.200
Everyone else, but I I'm curious, like this will help us learn more about maybe the

627
00:43:41.200 --> 00:43:45.760
difference that some guys like what they deal with in, in those dynamics.

628
00:43:47.800 --> 00:43:54.280
Well, it was more just how I am because messages I was sending were saying I wanted

629
00:43:54.280 --> 00:43:59.400
to do things, but she like wrote me a whole novel and then it's like, we should go out

630
00:43:59.440 --> 00:44:02.120
or we should do rafting together sometime.

631
00:44:02.440 --> 00:44:08.200
And then I'm like, and she's like, and then I just responded with weekends.

632
00:44:08.200 --> 00:44:10.920
Cause I knew she was more busy than me, but I only gave her one word.

633
00:44:11.240 --> 00:44:14.520
And what I was really saying was just let me know what weekend works for you.

634
00:44:14.520 --> 00:44:15.920
And then I'll go meet to go rafting.

635
00:44:16.440 --> 00:44:19.600
But she's like, he's not interested.

636
00:44:19.600 --> 00:44:21.800
He gave me one word and I wrote a novel.

637
00:44:22.600 --> 00:44:25.480
So I was interested in hanging out.

638
00:44:25.560 --> 00:44:27.240
So it wasn't that I wasn't interested in hanging out.

639
00:44:27.240 --> 00:44:30.360
It's just, I'm not as much into the words as her.

640
00:44:30.360 --> 00:44:36.400
And I just said what I thought was necessary to get the point across at least in my head.

641
00:44:36.920 --> 00:44:40.840
But, well, I think, I think one of the, I think we were on different pages.

642
00:44:40.840 --> 00:44:45.800
I feel like, um, as far as, um, like our degree of faith initially.

643
00:44:45.800 --> 00:44:48.240
And so that was one of the obstacles that we did have to overcome.

644
00:44:48.640 --> 00:44:51.480
And when I say I was pursuing him, it was, I was not stalking him.

645
00:44:51.480 --> 00:44:55.920
I was, I would just say that I, I saw something he, it took him longer to see.

646
00:44:56.040 --> 00:44:57.240
Like we were both friends.

647
00:44:57.480 --> 00:44:59.960
We were both interested in each other, but we both.

648
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:07.680
in our heads were like this can't work because of these things and um so I think that was more it

649
00:45:07.680 --> 00:45:13.600
and I think what really happened was Justin finally admitted that he did like me and we just

650
00:45:13.600 --> 00:45:18.400
had a very frank conversation again because we are friends and we've been so honest with each other

651
00:45:19.120 --> 00:45:24.960
like we couldn't hide who we were we couldn't hide our you know our issues and we we had a

652
00:45:24.960 --> 00:45:30.560
very very long and frank conversation about okay these are the things we're not on you know not on

653
00:45:30.560 --> 00:45:34.960
the same page with how are we going to deal with these like you know and we we just worked through

654
00:45:34.960 --> 00:45:39.280
that and and then we finally at the end just decided okay we're gonna go on a date and we're

655
00:45:39.280 --> 00:45:43.680
just we're gonna see what happens like no pressure like but we're gonna go on a date and we're gonna

656
00:45:43.680 --> 00:45:51.760
see and then by our second date we were like ready to get married but before our first date because

657
00:45:51.760 --> 00:45:57.040
we had mutual friends she had Mackenzie we actually had a conversation where no questions

658
00:45:57.040 --> 00:46:04.880
were off the table so like finances what we wanted for kids that any question because we wanted to

659
00:46:04.880 --> 00:46:12.000
find any deal breaker before it ruined our friendships before it hurt Mackenzie so we

660
00:46:12.000 --> 00:46:18.400
talked about exclusive at that time when you were having that conversation no it was before it was

661
00:46:18.560 --> 00:46:22.880
for our first date when we had this conversation when we oh yes yes i'm thinking of the other

662
00:46:22.880 --> 00:46:30.720
conversation yeah so we were not yet because we wanted to find a reason if we didn't think it was

663
00:46:30.720 --> 00:46:35.520
going to have a good chance right away because if we came across something in that conversation that

664
00:46:35.520 --> 00:46:39.120
was like oh this is definitely not going to work then we weren't going to risk it because

665
00:46:39.760 --> 00:46:44.320
it's a lot easier to decide it wasn't a good idea instead of having a relationship and then trying

666
00:46:44.320 --> 00:46:49.040
to recover and still have mutual friends and whatnot and then for Mackenzie it would be better

667
00:46:49.040 --> 00:46:56.880
if she never even knew i was a boyfriend so that's why we did that and it's definitely way different

668
00:46:56.880 --> 00:47:02.400
we definitely broke all the rules on what questions are allowed so early on but yeah after our second

669
00:47:02.400 --> 00:47:07.280
date we were justin was over at my house and he's we're just in the kitchen and he turns to me and

670
00:47:07.280 --> 00:47:10.720
he's like okay if we get married i'm selling i would sell both of my cars because your cars are

671
00:47:11.040 --> 00:47:14.480
family friendly and i'm like wait what this is like after date number two i'm like isn't this

672
00:47:14.480 --> 00:47:18.480
like you know like a six month date question and he's like no so he kind of said the same thing

673
00:47:18.480 --> 00:47:22.240
that he just said he said it to me he's like look if there's a deal breaker i want to find it now so

674
00:47:22.240 --> 00:47:27.120
we're going to have these tough conversations we're going to dig deep so i mean we did like we

675
00:47:27.120 --> 00:47:34.640
went really deep for you all i will i will say like for me in my former relationship that is

676
00:47:34.640 --> 00:47:39.520
what got me tripped up and connected to somebody that wasn't healthy so i think it depends on the

677
00:47:39.520 --> 00:47:45.840
people you know where you guys it sounds like it makes me think of even though it wasn't as deep

678
00:47:45.840 --> 00:47:50.080
of a question the first time i met brian you a lot of y'all have heard this we've shared it

679
00:47:50.080 --> 00:47:56.240
plenty of times literally within i feel like 30 seconds of sitting down with our coffee he was

680
00:47:56.240 --> 00:48:02.880
like i like legos and marble you know he just he just wanted to know was i gonna think you know

681
00:48:03.440 --> 00:48:08.240
he was like good or not good because of that how was i gonna turn it out there like if you're gonna

682
00:48:08.240 --> 00:48:14.080
reject me like let's do it now let's get over with yeah and so whether or not that's why you

683
00:48:14.080 --> 00:48:18.560
all did that that's what it made me think of though like that protection mechanism and things

684
00:48:18.560 --> 00:48:24.480
that we do sometimes but i'm really glad that you all were able to connect and have those conversations

685
00:48:24.480 --> 00:48:29.520
one of the things i wanted to go back to that you said and then i'm going to come over to scotty and

686
00:48:30.400 --> 00:48:40.000
um you said messages i was sending i was saying i was interested so i felt like that was a super

687
00:48:40.000 --> 00:48:45.600
important statement because from your perspective you were telling her you were interested whether

688
00:48:45.600 --> 00:48:52.080
you know i don't know whether she interpreted it that way or not um and ladies i think it's

689
00:48:52.080 --> 00:48:59.840
important to understand that you know guys and women we we communicate differently and so if

690
00:48:59.840 --> 00:49:08.080
you are not sure ask a clarifying question you know and just really find out and it sounds like

691
00:49:08.080 --> 00:49:13.520
from what christina shared christina definitely continue to pursue and you know encourage the

692
00:49:13.520 --> 00:49:18.320
date and all the things and i love that i love that you were just willing to say like this is

693
00:49:18.320 --> 00:49:23.920
what i want and you know i think we should go on a date and see how it goes and all the things i

694
00:49:23.920 --> 00:49:28.400
want to correct that like that's actually not how it went like when i say i think when i say pursue

695
00:49:28.400 --> 00:49:33.200
i was just i think i was interested like more interested first like i didn't actually initiate

696
00:49:33.200 --> 00:49:37.840
i see all these comments from people like i didn't really initiate anything justin actually

697
00:49:37.840 --> 00:49:44.000
did initiate in the end i think i just saw it first if that makes sense so i kept being like

698
00:49:44.720 --> 00:49:51.120
all right god like seems to be this but like you know it's not like like there were some things

699
00:49:51.120 --> 00:49:54.640
that had to change on his side but i i wasn't like messaging him like hey do you want to hang

700
00:49:54.640 --> 00:49:59.840
out like i think this is helpful yeah like he yeah like so he was still actually

701
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.240
leading the way and initiating, I think, sorry,

702
00:50:02.240 --> 00:50:03.240
I think I used the wrong word

703
00:50:03.240 --> 00:50:04.240
and I don't wanna mislead people,

704
00:50:04.240 --> 00:50:08.440
but I just think I understood first that what was happening

705
00:50:09.440 --> 00:50:13.760
and I had to wait patiently for Justin to realize it too

706
00:50:13.760 --> 00:50:15.320
and for God to work in his heart

707
00:50:15.320 --> 00:50:17.520
and to bring us on the same page.

708
00:50:17.520 --> 00:50:19.800
But back to your point about diving deep, I agree.

709
00:50:19.800 --> 00:50:21.120
I don't think that's a good conversation

710
00:50:21.120 --> 00:50:23.760
to have on a third date if you don't have the friendship.

711
00:50:23.760 --> 00:50:25.640
But the whole reason all of this worked

712
00:50:25.640 --> 00:50:27.840
is we had that friendship basis

713
00:50:27.880 --> 00:50:31.400
and because there was no pressure when we met

714
00:50:31.400 --> 00:50:33.280
and we were all, like all of our friends were,

715
00:50:33.280 --> 00:50:35.600
we were all talking about dating and all of our experiences.

716
00:50:35.600 --> 00:50:40.200
Like there was so much open and honest conversation in that

717
00:50:40.200 --> 00:50:43.680
that we couldn't hide, like I said, like you normally can.

718
00:50:43.680 --> 00:50:45.240
So I think if you're gonna do that,

719
00:50:45.240 --> 00:50:47.160
you definitely have to have that basis of friendship

720
00:50:47.160 --> 00:50:50.080
and understanding of who the person is to begin with.

721
00:50:50.080 --> 00:50:51.560
Yeah, I love your story.

722
00:50:51.560 --> 00:50:54.000
It's so awesome to hear you all and just learn.

723
00:50:54.000 --> 00:50:56.160
So Christina and Justin were in Brian and I's

724
00:50:56.160 --> 00:50:58.520
Symbus group too, which I think is super fun.

725
00:50:58.520 --> 00:51:00.920
And so it's really great to kind of reconnect

726
00:51:00.920 --> 00:51:03.680
and hear more of your story.

727
00:51:03.680 --> 00:51:06.200
I'm gonna probably come back to you one more time

728
00:51:06.200 --> 00:51:08.160
and would love to hear a little bit

729
00:51:08.160 --> 00:51:10.760
about your blended family journey.

730
00:51:10.760 --> 00:51:13.440
I know that we heard a little bit about the initial,

731
00:51:13.440 --> 00:51:15.440
you know, like getting to know her

732
00:51:15.440 --> 00:51:18.160
and for Justin getting to know your daughter

733
00:51:18.160 --> 00:51:20.400
and all of the safety things that were there.

734
00:51:20.400 --> 00:51:21.680
But I would also love,

735
00:51:23.120 --> 00:51:24.680
we don't wanna focus too much on negative,

736
00:51:24.680 --> 00:51:26.720
but I think it's important to know,

737
00:51:26.720 --> 00:51:29.320
like let people know a little bit of your journey

738
00:51:29.320 --> 00:51:31.600
and how God has led you through that

739
00:51:31.600 --> 00:51:33.960
and the good things that are also happening.

740
00:51:33.960 --> 00:51:35.480
As you mentioned earlier, Justin,

741
00:51:35.480 --> 00:51:39.720
like sounds like you treat her like she's your daughter

742
00:51:39.720 --> 00:51:41.800
and that sounds like that's how she feels

743
00:51:41.800 --> 00:51:43.040
and that's incredible.

744
00:51:43.040 --> 00:51:44.560
And I just wanna thank you for that

745
00:51:44.560 --> 00:51:48.520
and for loving Christina, her daughter so well.

746
00:51:48.520 --> 00:51:51.920
And I just wanna kind of pause and say thank you for that.

747
00:51:51.920 --> 00:51:54.760
But I'll come back to you all in just a little bit.

748
00:51:54.760 --> 00:51:56.440
So Scotty and Olga,

749
00:51:56.440 --> 00:51:58.600
I wanna hear a little bit more from you all.

750
00:51:58.600 --> 00:51:59.440
I'm kind of curious,

751
00:51:59.440 --> 00:52:02.320
even as you've heard Justin and Christina share,

752
00:52:02.320 --> 00:52:03.560
like were there any,

753
00:52:05.200 --> 00:52:06.560
for Scotty first,

754
00:52:06.560 --> 00:52:10.280
was there any thing that God led you to do

755
00:52:10.280 --> 00:52:14.240
to show Olga that you were intentional

756
00:52:14.240 --> 00:52:17.120
about one, like wanting to move forward

757
00:52:17.120 --> 00:52:18.440
to get to know her better?

758
00:52:22.400 --> 00:52:26.520
I guess just continuing to go out on dates

759
00:52:26.520 --> 00:52:29.560
and learn more about her.

760
00:52:29.560 --> 00:52:34.560
And I think that's really all I can think of, I would say.

761
00:52:36.880 --> 00:52:40.200
So did you tell her like, if y'all went on a date,

762
00:52:40.200 --> 00:52:44.280
did you like let her know that she looked nice?

763
00:52:44.280 --> 00:52:47.200
Did you let her know like, hey, I really enjoyed

764
00:52:47.200 --> 00:52:49.680
that you were willing to go do this fun thing?

765
00:52:49.680 --> 00:52:53.480
Like, I guess I'm trying to help the guys learn some things

766
00:52:53.480 --> 00:52:54.720
that maybe are helpful.

767
00:52:54.720 --> 00:52:58.840
And then also for the ladies to hear from you all as well.

768
00:52:58.840 --> 00:53:02.160
But were there any things that God in that way

769
00:53:02.160 --> 00:53:06.800
led you to say or do that led Olga to know

770
00:53:06.800 --> 00:53:08.600
that you were interested in her?

771
00:53:08.600 --> 00:53:12.240
Yeah, that I was just excited to do things with her

772
00:53:12.240 --> 00:53:15.760
and just be spontaneous and that she looked great,

773
00:53:16.800 --> 00:53:19.320
looked gorgeous like every other day.

774
00:53:20.160 --> 00:53:25.160
And yeah, just that I was excited to see her and yeah.

775
00:53:25.240 --> 00:53:28.640
To clarify, Scotty's very expressive.

776
00:53:28.640 --> 00:53:30.080
He says everything.

777
00:53:30.080 --> 00:53:32.840
Like on our first date, we went to like mini golf

778
00:53:32.840 --> 00:53:35.080
and ice cream and we were in the car.

779
00:53:35.080 --> 00:53:38.760
I was the quiet one, but he was just like about everything.

780
00:53:38.760 --> 00:53:40.160
Oh, it's so great that we can talk together.

781
00:53:40.160 --> 00:53:43.280
And he was like, we are gonna get along so great.

782
00:53:43.280 --> 00:53:45.000
We're gonna bond just right.

783
00:53:45.000 --> 00:53:48.000
And I'm like, oh, we just met.

784
00:53:48.000 --> 00:53:51.160
Yeah, he was definitely way more expressive than me.

785
00:53:51.160 --> 00:53:54.520
Yeah, he definitely let me know

786
00:53:54.520 --> 00:53:56.120
everything he was thinking.

787
00:53:56.120 --> 00:53:57.200
Yeah.

788
00:53:57.200 --> 00:53:58.760
Did that help you or did that?

789
00:53:58.760 --> 00:53:59.600
Yeah, definitely.

790
00:53:59.600 --> 00:54:00.440
Yeah, definitely.

791
00:54:00.440 --> 00:54:01.920
Yeah.

792
00:54:01.920 --> 00:54:03.160
Yeah, he was smart.

793
00:54:03.160 --> 00:54:05.800
And I was a little more reserved like,

794
00:54:05.800 --> 00:54:07.760
oh, I don't know if I can trust you yet.

795
00:54:07.760 --> 00:54:12.760
And I needed to see, okay, like, can I give my trust here?

796
00:54:13.840 --> 00:54:15.840
And I kind of let him know that too.

797
00:54:15.840 --> 00:54:19.000
I was like, okay, like, I just need it.

798
00:54:19.000 --> 00:54:22.240
For me, I needed to see that when he said something

799
00:54:22.240 --> 00:54:24.840
that he would follow through on it.

800
00:54:24.840 --> 00:54:27.960
And so whether he was trustworthy.

801
00:54:27.960 --> 00:54:30.080
So for me that needed to build over time.

802
00:54:30.080 --> 00:54:33.720
But it's kind of like, even if I had an idea that,

803
00:54:33.720 --> 00:54:35.480
oh yeah, maybe we could get along.

804
00:54:36.680 --> 00:54:40.240
I still needed to see the evidence over time.

805
00:54:40.240 --> 00:54:42.360
Yeah, just being consistent with what I said

806
00:54:42.360 --> 00:54:43.640
and follow through with it.

807
00:54:43.640 --> 00:54:46.360
Yeah, but he's definitely was expressive.

808
00:54:46.360 --> 00:54:49.600
Like, hey, this is about, yeah, this is fun.

809
00:54:49.600 --> 00:54:50.440
This is great.

810
00:54:50.440 --> 00:54:51.280
We should go to the lake.

811
00:54:51.280 --> 00:54:52.120
Let's do it again.

812
00:54:52.120 --> 00:54:52.960
We should go paddle boarding.

813
00:54:52.960 --> 00:54:53.800
We should do this.

814
00:54:53.800 --> 00:54:54.640
We should do that.

815
00:54:54.640 --> 00:54:55.480
We should go skiing.

816
00:54:55.480 --> 00:54:56.320
What are you doing?

817
00:54:56.320 --> 00:54:57.160
When y'all were dating,

818
00:54:57.160 --> 00:54:58.040
I don't know this part of your story.

819
00:54:58.040 --> 00:55:00.240
Were you all local to each other or were you?

820
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:01.000
Yeah.

821
00:55:01.000 --> 00:55:02.000
Yeah.

822
00:55:02.000 --> 00:55:03.000
We're like, we're like four miles.

823
00:55:03.000 --> 00:55:04.000
Yeah.

824
00:55:04.000 --> 00:55:06.320
Like four and a half miles apart from each other.

825
00:55:06.320 --> 00:55:07.320
Yeah.

826
00:55:07.320 --> 00:55:08.320
Oh my gosh.

827
00:55:08.320 --> 00:55:09.320
Wow.

828
00:55:09.320 --> 00:55:12.280
Then I don't know, Christina and Justin, if y'all can put in the chat, just so people

829
00:55:12.280 --> 00:55:16.440
know where you, it sounds like y'all were local.

830
00:55:16.440 --> 00:55:19.680
But if you can put that in the chat, for those of you that don't know, Brian and I were long

831
00:55:19.680 --> 00:55:20.680
distance.

832
00:55:20.680 --> 00:55:23.400
We lived four hours apart when we were dating.

833
00:55:23.400 --> 00:55:24.880
So just want to put that out there.

834
00:55:24.880 --> 00:55:29.560
So y'all know that we do have couples that are, we're local as well as long distance.

835
00:55:29.560 --> 00:55:35.760
But is there anything else that comes to mind just about maybe even your engagement

836
00:55:35.760 --> 00:55:37.200
to the wedding?

837
00:55:37.200 --> 00:55:41.560
You talked, well, one of the things I want to also pull out that you, I saw in your post

838
00:55:41.560 --> 00:55:49.120
and you touched on it tonight, Olga, was that God gave you community and he gave you family

839
00:55:49.120 --> 00:55:51.240
as a part of this journey.

840
00:55:51.240 --> 00:55:56.080
And I know that we have a lot of people that that is their heart cry in this community,

841
00:55:56.080 --> 00:56:01.760
that they would not only find community in a church, but also family and all that.

842
00:56:01.760 --> 00:56:07.320
So just what, can you share a couple of thoughts on that part of your journey and then anything

843
00:56:07.320 --> 00:56:09.680
else that y'all want to share on?

844
00:56:09.680 --> 00:56:17.680
Yeah, I think, I think before we even met, I had a friend that I would pray with too.

845
00:56:17.680 --> 00:56:23.040
And we both had a lot of people praying for us, for us to meet each other.

846
00:56:23.040 --> 00:56:29.800
And then also that we would each meet someone that was godly and that was the right person.

847
00:56:29.800 --> 00:56:35.320
And then, and then this group, I really enjoyed the morning prayer.

848
00:56:35.320 --> 00:56:45.480
Yeah, because I just felt that started having me open up to people and, you know, have accountability

849
00:56:45.480 --> 00:56:49.760
and have other people that are going in the same direction.

850
00:56:49.760 --> 00:56:55.760
And then after we met, um, when we met God, like answered all these, even the smallest

851
00:56:55.760 --> 00:56:57.760
little things.

852
00:56:57.760 --> 00:57:06.040
When we met Scotty, like, there were like silly signs, but one is like, when I was thinking

853
00:57:06.040 --> 00:57:09.880
about my future and I was like, Oh, if I ever got a dog again, it would be a black lab and

854
00:57:09.880 --> 00:57:10.880
he had one.

855
00:57:10.880 --> 00:57:16.680
And then when I was like, I really want this like white GMC car and like he had one and

856
00:57:16.680 --> 00:57:20.600
I was like, all these like little, little things that are in my mind that I like, like

857
00:57:20.600 --> 00:57:26.240
my, one of my favorite songs, it was like one of his and like, there were just like

858
00:57:26.240 --> 00:57:29.240
all these answer prayer and I could never, ever find a local church.

859
00:57:29.240 --> 00:57:30.920
And I went to many of them.

860
00:57:30.920 --> 00:57:34.960
And then when we met, he already was established at this church and he brought me in and it

861
00:57:34.960 --> 00:57:37.180
was just like the perfect fit.

862
00:57:37.180 --> 00:57:43.000
And then after that, um, like while we were still dating, like literally one or two months

863
00:57:43.000 --> 00:57:47.280
in, he put his hand up to run a small group.

864
00:57:47.280 --> 00:57:52.960
So we opened, he opened his house to a small group from the church and it just started

865
00:57:52.960 --> 00:57:54.880
with like eight to 10 people.

866
00:57:54.880 --> 00:58:00.240
And it was like another couple that we met, like on our second date, we went, we met one

867
00:58:00.240 --> 00:58:03.520
of his friends and we went out together and they were really funny.

868
00:58:03.520 --> 00:58:06.680
Cause they were like, Hey, Scotty, this would be a great place to propose.

869
00:58:06.680 --> 00:58:11.520
And it was like our second day and stuff like, they were, they were, they were, they were

870
00:58:12.520 --> 00:58:16.080
like calling it before we even knew.

871
00:58:16.080 --> 00:58:22.440
But, um, so we met like his friend groups and then afterward this, um, we had the small

872
00:58:22.440 --> 00:58:25.520
group now each Wednesday and yeah, now it's really exploded.

873
00:58:25.520 --> 00:58:30.480
I think there's more than 20 people and their kids, couples and kids and everything will

874
00:58:30.480 --> 00:58:34.080
come to house and God just keeps bringing more and more people.

875
00:58:34.080 --> 00:58:40.880
And, um, and then we just get to share about our lives in different burdens that we have,

876
00:58:40.920 --> 00:58:44.640
but also praying for each other and, um, learning about the word together.

877
00:58:44.640 --> 00:58:49.400
And then Scotty too, his, um, works in the construction field.

878
00:58:49.400 --> 00:58:57.440
And I think he's brought at least 10 to 15 people from his work to church who now go

879
00:58:57.440 --> 00:58:59.240
with us as well.

880
00:58:59.240 --> 00:59:06.840
And, um, so it's just, I think just, um, it's made me really stretched to like share my

881
00:59:06.840 --> 00:59:09.240
life with others as well.

882
00:59:09.240 --> 00:59:11.920
Like what's going on and letting people in.

883
00:59:11.920 --> 00:59:18.120
And, um, and it's just kind of amazing that God just was like, okay, yeah, he's the church

884
00:59:18.120 --> 00:59:19.120
you wanted.

885
00:59:19.120 --> 00:59:23.480
Here's like the house you wanted his life, all these things that were already ready.

886
00:59:23.480 --> 00:59:25.480
And they just kind of all just got activated.

887
00:59:25.480 --> 00:59:27.160
Like when we met.

888
00:59:27.160 --> 00:59:35.160
I also hear you saying that you and Scotty coming together, that's destiny DNA that Jackie

889
00:59:35.160 --> 00:59:41.880
talks about that, like activated these things in you and it's causing you to come out of

890
00:59:41.880 --> 00:59:45.200
your, you know, comfort zone more, you're opening more.

891
00:59:45.200 --> 00:59:46.520
That's what I hear you saying.

892
00:59:46.520 --> 00:59:48.200
Would you agree with that?

893
00:59:48.200 --> 00:59:49.200
Yeah, definitely.

894
00:59:49.200 --> 00:59:50.200
Yeah.

895
00:59:50.200 --> 00:59:58.120
And, uh, yeah, so I think he's much more willing to just be like, yeah, I'll do that.

896
00:59:58.120 --> 00:59:59.120
Yeah.

897
00:59:59.120 --> 01:00:00.120
I'll do that.

898
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.600
yeah just I think one of the things too during the I don't if I heard it during the um

899
01:00:00.120 --> 01:00:00.120


900
01:00:07.600 --> 01:00:13.440
last year single was just about like your person's not going to be perfect because I know like

901
01:00:13.440 --> 01:00:18.400
being spiritual and whatever it's like or like oh yeah I just need Jesus or whatever or the man

902
01:00:18.400 --> 01:00:23.760
that I need a godly man is going to look like xyz and they're going to be this perfect person and

903
01:00:23.760 --> 01:00:29.920
then um I just remember hearing that oh they're not going to be perfect but God's going to give

904
01:00:29.920 --> 01:00:35.920
you the tools to have a relationship together and you can still serve God when you're not perfect

905
01:00:35.920 --> 01:00:40.320
and you can and I think Scott is much more like that he'll just be like he'll be in the

906
01:00:40.320 --> 01:00:44.560
men's ministry he'll do this he'll die he's like yeah I'm not perfect but I'm willing so

907
01:00:45.360 --> 01:00:54.160
um that just showed me more like hey God's God uses imperfect people and um and it doesn't have

908
01:00:54.160 --> 01:00:59.920
to be perfect for it to work like just do it and it will work out like I love and if it doesn't

909
01:00:59.920 --> 01:01:06.320
work out you'll just learn some new skills and then you know you'll keep going you know yes for

910
01:01:06.880 --> 01:01:12.560
for um what she was just saying there is like even when you all are dating um you know if you can

911
01:01:12.560 --> 01:01:18.400
look at the person that you're going on the date with um as much as you're able to do this that

912
01:01:18.400 --> 01:01:24.960
you're there to be kind to them learn something about them and grow from every encounter every

913
01:01:24.960 --> 01:01:32.080
kind of dynamic and situation that you're in um I think things will go so much better for so many

914
01:01:32.080 --> 01:01:37.280
of you I know that that was one of the things I had to really shift in my like when I started

915
01:01:37.280 --> 01:01:44.000
dating before I met Brian um I definitely dated differently I didn't I wasn't date even though I

916
01:01:44.000 --> 01:01:50.640
was praying for my spirit mate I didn't go on every date with panic like is this my husband

917
01:01:50.640 --> 01:01:56.240
does that make sense um and so I have this peace and this calm like okay I'm just gonna get to know

918
01:01:56.240 --> 01:02:03.280
this person and really pay attention to the good fruit in them and you know the things that I need

919
01:02:03.280 --> 01:02:09.520
to pay attention to if there isn't healthy things and really enjoyed um getting to meet those people

920
01:02:09.520 --> 01:02:16.160
and them being willing to share a part of their life you know even if it was one date uh with me

921
01:02:16.160 --> 01:02:22.880
and I think that really was a game changer for me um and when you all were sharing something that

922
01:02:22.880 --> 01:02:28.400
you said actually how you were like you know on your second date the people uh said something

923
01:02:28.400 --> 01:02:33.600
about this would be a great place to propose or whatever you said it made me think um do you want

924
01:02:33.600 --> 01:02:39.200
to tell the concert story real quick we were you were just talking about it the other night how

925
01:02:39.520 --> 01:02:44.320
my first time to come visit you at the concert do you remember all of that yeah yeah yeah

926
01:02:46.000 --> 01:02:50.000
you gotta come up close so they can hear you yeah so awkward situation that was past

927
01:02:50.560 --> 01:02:58.080
the end at the time and we were four hours apart because when I did a search I didn't want to date

928
01:02:58.080 --> 01:03:02.560
anyone local because we kind of weird as a pastor you're preaching and the person that you swiped

929
01:03:02.560 --> 01:03:07.520
right or left on walks into the back I mean just kind of that weird community dynamic or you didn't

930
01:03:07.520 --> 01:03:12.400
want a bunch of people in congregation that you did anyway so you know she comes in from out of

931
01:03:12.400 --> 01:03:18.240
town and it's really the it was the first literally first I started to introduce her

932
01:03:18.880 --> 01:03:24.960
uh we had I think been dating for a couple of months so this was her first time in the church

933
01:03:24.960 --> 01:03:32.320
at that time the pastor's girlfriend yeah and so but we were also hosting a concert so we thought

934
01:03:32.320 --> 01:03:37.280
well this might be a good way to ease things you know take it slow and I was up in the balcony

935
01:03:37.600 --> 01:03:42.800
I didn't sit up in the front right like he sat with me up in the balcony we were trying to totally

936
01:03:42.800 --> 01:03:53.120
be like you know subtle sneaking out kind of thing so but then the the uh the leader of the band

937
01:03:53.120 --> 01:03:59.040
calls me up and you know they're trying to hey thanks a lot and hey your wife's up there with

938
01:03:59.040 --> 01:04:10.160
you and like my church is there too they're like wait what has a wife what we thought was a subtle

939
01:04:10.160 --> 01:04:17.520
entry into my church life kind of became a next you know Saturday Sunday morning it's like oh

940
01:04:17.520 --> 01:04:24.480
we know that's the pastor's wife so maybe that was prophecy I don't know but well I think it's

941
01:04:24.480 --> 01:04:30.800
just kind of you know sometimes God does funny stuff because they had him go up to pray over the

942
01:04:30.800 --> 01:04:35.520
offering that's why they had him go up there and then they played this whole joke on him to start

943
01:04:35.520 --> 01:04:41.360
singing and he's I love him I love to hear him sing because it just blesses my heart but he

944
01:04:41.360 --> 01:04:47.840
you know isn't a worship leader he's a solo you can't hear me yeah kind of funny and then they

945
01:04:47.840 --> 01:04:53.200
just said that and I was just like oh my gosh I can't believe this right now but anyways it was

946
01:04:53.200 --> 01:04:57.520
just a funny story I thought we could share with all of you um because there's been many

947
01:04:58.160 --> 01:04:59.760
experiences I've been trying to suppress

948
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:05.360
but you made me remember it. But like stuff like that is just going to happen sometimes. And I

949
01:05:05.360 --> 01:05:11.920
think just we laughed about it and didn't make it like super serious or like this means we have to

950
01:05:11.920 --> 01:05:17.760
get married because somebody said this to me or any of those kind of things. But yeah, so just

951
01:05:17.760 --> 01:05:24.160
super fun. But anyways, it's been so fun hearing just a little bit more Scotty and Olga about your

952
01:05:24.160 --> 01:05:30.080
story. And I really want to just give a few minutes to Christina and Justin because we're

953
01:05:30.080 --> 01:05:35.360
about we're getting close to our time tonight. But to share a little bit about your it's,

954
01:05:35.360 --> 01:05:39.760
you know, a little bit more about your blended family experience and how God has led you all

955
01:05:39.760 --> 01:05:50.240
through that. So ours is a little different than probably a lot of people experience because

956
01:05:50.800 --> 01:05:57.840
when I first met Mackenzie, we were actually it was all our friends meeting up at the pool here

957
01:05:57.840 --> 01:06:00.640
in this neighborhood because that's where Christina happened to live when we were just

958
01:06:00.640 --> 01:06:04.240
we're all meeting. I don't even know if Christina knew I was coming that day or not.

959
01:06:06.720 --> 01:06:12.960
So just showed up. So we are going to hang out. And I was playing games with Mackenzie in the

960
01:06:12.960 --> 01:06:18.000
pool when we're just friends. We weren't even dating at that point. We didn't even consider

961
01:06:18.000 --> 01:06:24.800
dating at that point. So we got to just hang out quite a bit. We went on a hike together

962
01:06:24.800 --> 01:06:30.560
where some of my family was in from Colorado. So she got to meet my dad and one of my brothers

963
01:06:30.560 --> 01:06:36.080
on that hike. And then we all were like, who wants to go to lunch after the hike? And this was with

964
01:06:36.080 --> 01:06:41.200
our friends. It wasn't just my family. Mackenzie and Christina, well, everyone else backed out.

965
01:06:41.200 --> 01:06:45.680
So it ended up only being Christina Mackenzie, my dad, my brother and myself going to lunch.

966
01:06:46.640 --> 01:06:51.440
So we got a lot of time to hang out together. And me and Mackenzie got along the whole time.

967
01:06:52.080 --> 01:06:56.880
And she was actually trying to convince us to get a date, trying to convince us to get married

968
01:06:56.880 --> 01:07:02.560
before she even knew we were dating. And then she would always try to be like, you guys should kiss,

969
01:07:02.560 --> 01:07:06.320
you guys should kiss. And now she's like, you guys should stop kissing. You guys should stop

970
01:07:06.320 --> 01:07:12.240
kissing. So it's funny. But so we got along the whole time. The most challenging part for me

971
01:07:12.240 --> 01:07:19.280
isn't actually Mackenzie. It's her dad. And just because the reasons Christina got divorced,

972
01:07:19.280 --> 01:07:26.720
also makes him very difficult as a co parent. And he still finds joy in hurting Christina,

973
01:07:26.720 --> 01:07:32.640
which he shouldn't. But he does things out of his way just to hurt Christina still,

974
01:07:32.640 --> 01:07:36.480
even though they're divorced and been divorced for a long time. He's remarried and everything.

975
01:07:37.200 --> 01:07:45.280
So, so how is God helping you? I mean, I, I've been through some not with Brian's ex, but with

976
01:07:45.280 --> 01:07:52.240
my girl's dad, and different dynamic, but just I've been through a lot with him. It's really

977
01:07:52.240 --> 01:07:57.840
difficult when someone is really unhealthy and toxic, and they're doing toxic things that to

978
01:07:57.840 --> 01:08:03.760
intentionally hurt people, or to withhold, you know, things from people. So I know God had to do

979
01:08:03.760 --> 01:08:10.160
a lot of work in my heart on how to navigate that. I'm just, you know, as you all are here,

980
01:08:10.160 --> 01:08:16.000
like to encourage those in our community that might face some of those things. And, you know,

981
01:08:16.000 --> 01:08:21.040
how has God helped, you know, not just you, Justin, but you all, you know, Justin first,

982
01:08:21.040 --> 01:08:28.399
but you all as a couple, work as a team to overcome those things, or at least continue

983
01:08:28.399 --> 01:08:34.319
to navigate them and stay together in a unified, you know, front, if you will.

984
01:08:35.680 --> 01:08:39.680
It's definitely been a challenge. We definitely pray about it. We actually pray that he finds his

985
01:08:39.680 --> 01:08:45.760
way back to Jesus because he used to be Christian, but he left the church and now is against the

986
01:08:45.760 --> 01:08:52.000
Bible and everything. So we pray that he finds his way back because that'll be best for Mackenzie.

987
01:08:52.000 --> 01:08:56.319
It would be the best for him. And it would help improve the relationship. What we actually started

988
01:08:56.319 --> 01:09:01.760
doing recently that's actually helping though, is now I actually go pick up Mackenzie. So we're

989
01:09:01.760 --> 01:09:06.960
actually limiting the interaction time between Christina and Brian, and he seems to be doing

990
01:09:06.960 --> 01:09:12.240
better with the less interaction. So it seems to be going better all around with them, just not

991
01:09:12.240 --> 01:09:18.720
seeing each other. That's awesome. I mean, I love that God is having you. The first thing that comes

992
01:09:18.720 --> 01:09:23.760
to mind is like, you're protecting her and you're protecting Mackenzie too. And that covering that

993
01:09:23.760 --> 01:09:29.760
God talks about and all the different ways that that can show up in how important men are in our

994
01:09:29.760 --> 01:09:35.359
lives genuinely. And women, like we're strong. We, you know, so many of us are strong and we need to

995
01:09:35.359 --> 01:09:41.920
be, but isn't it a great thing when someone will step in and do something to protect us or

996
01:09:42.479 --> 01:09:47.439
to show us love or cover us in that way? It's pretty awesome. Christina, what do you think?

997
01:09:47.439 --> 01:09:53.279
Like, what's some things for you, ways that you're encouraging Justin in that process, you know,

998
01:09:53.279 --> 01:09:57.040
or even yourself or Mackenzie, like what's that been looking like for you?

999
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:01.240
Sorry, his phone just went off

1000
01:10:01.240 --> 01:10:03.280
and totally lost my train of thought.

1001
01:10:03.280 --> 01:10:05.600
Sorry, I don't know what to rethink here, but.

1002
01:10:09.040 --> 01:10:11.520
And yes, as far as, so one thing I will say,

1003
01:10:11.520 --> 01:10:13.000
sorry, this may not be answering your question,

1004
01:10:13.000 --> 01:10:15.720
but it's something that came to my mind.

1005
01:10:15.720 --> 01:10:17.760
One thing that we did do initially,

1006
01:10:17.760 --> 01:10:19.280
even before we got married,

1007
01:10:19.280 --> 01:10:23.560
we did premarital counseling with this group.

1008
01:10:23.560 --> 01:10:25.920
We did premarital, I can't talk,

1009
01:10:25.920 --> 01:10:28.520
premarital counseling with our church.

1010
01:10:28.520 --> 01:10:32.640
And then we've also interacted with a true counselor.

1011
01:10:33.840 --> 01:10:36.800
And we also did that initially

1012
01:10:36.800 --> 01:10:38.200
at the beginning of our marriage on,

1013
01:10:38.200 --> 01:10:40.880
okay, how do we handle this dynamic

1014
01:10:40.880 --> 01:10:43.320
and this co-parenting situation?

1015
01:10:43.320 --> 01:10:45.280
And I think one of the most helpful things,

1016
01:10:45.280 --> 01:10:47.560
at least for Justin, you can correct me if I'm wrong,

1017
01:10:47.560 --> 01:10:51.320
was when he said, you may not be her biological dad,

1018
01:10:51.320 --> 01:10:55.120
but in God's eyes, you are 100% her spiritual father.

1019
01:10:55.120 --> 01:10:57.920
Therefore, you are responsible for her,

1020
01:10:57.920 --> 01:10:59.880
for protecting her in that manner.

1021
01:10:59.880 --> 01:11:03.040
And you actually have authority over her biological dad

1022
01:11:03.040 --> 01:11:05.760
because he is not walking with the Lord in regards to that.

1023
01:11:05.760 --> 01:11:09.200
And I think that was very helpful to both of us.

1024
01:11:09.200 --> 01:11:12.160
And I think it was a struggle at first,

1025
01:11:12.160 --> 01:11:13.240
you know, it was new to Justin,

1026
01:11:13.240 --> 01:11:15.440
but he has really stepped into that role.

1027
01:11:15.440 --> 01:11:17.800
We've both made mistakes along the way,

1028
01:11:18.680 --> 01:11:20.560
but I feel like God has been really growing.

1029
01:11:20.560 --> 01:11:23.280
And like he said, this new idea

1030
01:11:23.320 --> 01:11:25.160
has kind of grown out of that.

1031
01:11:25.160 --> 01:11:28.320
And he, my ex is always working against us

1032
01:11:28.320 --> 01:11:30.200
as far as the Christianity thing,

1033
01:11:30.200 --> 01:11:32.840
but we just continue to try to step into that role.

1034
01:11:32.840 --> 01:11:35.080
It was very eyeopening for me.

1035
01:11:35.080 --> 01:11:37.480
I mean, I always knew it would be hard to be a step parent,

1036
01:11:37.480 --> 01:11:40.720
but until you really see it, it really, it's a hard role.

1037
01:11:40.720 --> 01:11:41.880
It really is.

1038
01:11:41.880 --> 01:11:43.120
And it's hard for,

1039
01:11:43.120 --> 01:11:45.800
I want people to understand that it's hard for us too.

1040
01:11:45.800 --> 01:11:47.120
I'm sure you can relate to this.

1041
01:11:47.120 --> 01:11:49.240
Like when you're, Justin's amazing,

1042
01:11:49.240 --> 01:11:52.040
like absolutely amazing, like no complaints

1043
01:11:52.040 --> 01:11:53.200
and as far as being a dad,

1044
01:11:54.000 --> 01:11:58.080
it's still interesting to have step into that role with you.

1045
01:11:58.080 --> 01:12:00.720
And at the beginning, some of our struggles were,

1046
01:12:00.720 --> 01:12:03.000
I mean, it had been my daughter and I for so long,

1047
01:12:03.000 --> 01:12:04.320
seven years, I was a single mom

1048
01:12:04.320 --> 01:12:06.080
before Justin stepped into my life.

1049
01:12:06.080 --> 01:12:08.400
So she and I would make decisions

1050
01:12:08.400 --> 01:12:09.680
and then we'd be like, oh, we're doing this.

1051
01:12:09.680 --> 01:12:12.480
And Justin would be like, I don't get a say.

1052
01:12:12.480 --> 01:12:13.320
I don't get an opinion.

1053
01:12:13.320 --> 01:12:14.880
Like I don't get to be included.

1054
01:12:14.880 --> 01:12:16.800
And so I think it's just being mindful of things like that.

1055
01:12:16.800 --> 01:12:18.360
It took me a long time to be like, oh yeah.

1056
01:12:18.360 --> 01:12:19.680
Like it wasn't intentional.

1057
01:12:19.680 --> 01:12:21.840
I wasn't doing it to exclude him,

1058
01:12:21.840 --> 01:12:23.560
but I'm just, it's just been us for so long.

1059
01:12:23.560 --> 01:12:25.160
So we're like, yeah, we're gonna do this.

1060
01:12:25.160 --> 01:12:27.120
And he'd be like, I would like to have a say.

1061
01:12:27.120 --> 01:12:29.160
I would like to be included, you know, things like that.

1062
01:12:29.160 --> 01:12:30.880
So it's little things like that

1063
01:12:30.880 --> 01:12:32.960
that you have to work together on

1064
01:12:32.960 --> 01:12:34.600
and just continue to communicate.

1065
01:12:34.600 --> 01:12:39.480
And, but I, obviously I'm biased,

1066
01:12:39.480 --> 01:12:42.320
but I do want to let people know like it can,

1067
01:12:42.320 --> 01:12:43.280
it really can work

1068
01:12:43.280 --> 01:12:46.320
and it really can be incredible and amazing.

1069
01:12:46.320 --> 01:12:48.040
And I don't think you have regrets.

1070
01:12:48.040 --> 01:12:53.040
So in doing this and like it's really has been

1071
01:12:55.600 --> 01:12:57.760
like a dream come true in so many ways

1072
01:12:57.760 --> 01:12:59.440
and watching the two of them interact.

1073
01:12:59.440 --> 01:13:03.040
And let me just, so one of my favorite memories

1074
01:13:03.040 --> 01:13:06.640
of us stating was we actually went to Mississippi

1075
01:13:07.560 --> 01:13:08.640
with her for spring break.

1076
01:13:08.640 --> 01:13:10.280
We got separate hotel rooms and all of that.

1077
01:13:10.280 --> 01:13:11.400
Like everything was kept separate,

1078
01:13:11.400 --> 01:13:13.000
but that was our first trip together.

1079
01:13:13.000 --> 01:13:15.680
And there was this beautiful fountain at night

1080
01:13:15.680 --> 01:13:16.920
that lit up in different colors

1081
01:13:16.920 --> 01:13:20.040
and like was, went to music and so forth.

1082
01:13:20.040 --> 01:13:24.160
And like the two of them were just,

1083
01:13:24.160 --> 01:13:25.760
like she was much younger then.

1084
01:13:25.760 --> 01:13:27.000
So she was running around the fountain

1085
01:13:27.000 --> 01:13:29.000
and he was chasing her around the fountain

1086
01:13:29.000 --> 01:13:30.080
and just watching that.

1087
01:13:30.080 --> 01:13:32.440
Like I was, it was just like, this is,

1088
01:13:32.440 --> 01:13:34.200
this is, you know, this is amazing.

1089
01:13:34.200 --> 01:13:36.080
And then the song,

1090
01:13:37.560 --> 01:13:38.480
do you want to dance with somebody?

1091
01:13:38.480 --> 01:13:40.080
I think by Whitney Houston came on.

1092
01:13:40.080 --> 01:13:41.640
And so we started dancing

1093
01:13:41.640 --> 01:13:43.440
and then he started joining, like brought her in.

1094
01:13:43.440 --> 01:13:45.120
And it was, it was just like one of those,

1095
01:13:45.680 --> 01:13:48.760
like truly like movie, you know, fairytale moments.

1096
01:13:48.760 --> 01:13:51.400
And I just always have that image in my heart,

1097
01:13:51.400 --> 01:13:53.040
but that's really how it has been.

1098
01:13:53.040 --> 01:13:53.880
It's not been perfect.

1099
01:13:53.880 --> 01:13:55.760
They, you know, we all have our issues, of course,

1100
01:13:55.760 --> 01:13:59.560
but that can really, can really create a family.

1101
01:13:59.560 --> 01:14:00.760
I love this.

1102
01:14:00.760 --> 01:14:03.120
And y'all, this is, this is the reason I wanted them

1103
01:14:03.120 --> 01:14:06.240
to share about these moments and their journey.

1104
01:14:06.240 --> 01:14:07.960
Everyone's journey with the blended family

1105
01:14:07.960 --> 01:14:10.360
is going to look and feel different.

1106
01:14:10.360 --> 01:14:11.800
You know, as I told you all before,

1107
01:14:11.800 --> 01:14:13.080
Brian and I have a blended family,

1108
01:14:13.120 --> 01:14:17.200
but our kids are all older and they're not in our house.

1109
01:14:17.200 --> 01:14:20.160
And so, but we still like his youngest daughter

1110
01:14:20.160 --> 01:14:22.520
came and stayed with us for a week with her boyfriend.

1111
01:14:22.520 --> 01:14:24.880
And, you know, it is different.

1112
01:14:24.880 --> 01:14:26.760
You have to learn a different dynamic

1113
01:14:26.760 --> 01:14:31.520
and you're making space for those people in your life.

1114
01:14:31.520 --> 01:14:33.040
And so I want to encourage all of you

1115
01:14:33.040 --> 01:14:36.800
that are dating right now, you know,

1116
01:14:36.800 --> 01:14:39.160
keep praying and asking God about the ways

1117
01:14:39.160 --> 01:14:43.640
that you can make room for who God is sending you.

1118
01:14:43.640 --> 01:14:46.080
And maybe for some of you, it's not just a spirit mate,

1119
01:14:46.080 --> 01:14:48.880
maybe there's a bonus child that God is going to want

1120
01:14:48.880 --> 01:14:51.000
to really bless your life with.

1121
01:14:51.000 --> 01:14:54.400
It's an incredible opportunity to love somebody,

1122
01:14:54.400 --> 01:14:59.240
whether they're your bio kid or not your bio kid, truly.

1123
01:14:59.240 --> 01:15:00.240
It's been one of the.

1124
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:05.120
most remarkable experiences I've had an opportunity to be a part of in my life.

1125
01:15:05.520 --> 01:15:08.600
And so I want to encourage those of you that might even have that on your

1126
01:15:08.600 --> 01:15:12.880
never will I ever list that you will never date someone that has kids, man,

1127
01:15:12.880 --> 01:15:19.840
I pray and hope that you'll just ask God about that. Because man, kids have

1128
01:15:19.840 --> 01:15:25.160
just a way of helping us grow just like our spouses do in ways that nobody else

1129
01:15:25.160 --> 01:15:29.720
can. And so just wanted to kind of plug that. All right, so we're going to do a

1130
01:15:29.720 --> 01:15:35.480
lightning round when I'm what I mean by that is really quick. I want each person

1131
01:15:35.800 --> 01:15:41.920
to say one piece of advice like this will be like a sentence or something. It

1132
01:15:41.920 --> 01:15:47.840
can be a couple sentences, but kind of keep it short. If you could say anything

1133
01:15:47.880 --> 01:15:52.200
to our people that aren't either some of them are dating, maybe they're on their

1134
01:15:52.200 --> 01:15:56.200
journey, but like they're not married yet, what would be that piece of advice

1135
01:15:56.200 --> 01:15:57.040
you would give them?

1136
01:15:59.880 --> 01:16:02.240
They weren't I didn't tell them I was going to ask them this everyone. So I'm

1137
01:16:02.240 --> 01:16:03.360
kind of putting them on the spot.

1138
01:16:05.800 --> 01:16:11.840
I would say, definitely listen to your friends and family on advice. I've

1139
01:16:11.840 --> 01:16:16.480
definitely been in bad relationships for longer than I should have been. When all

1140
01:16:16.480 --> 01:16:20.320
my friends and family were all like, you need to get out of this, you need to get

1141
01:16:20.320 --> 01:16:26.120
out of this. So definitely at least take their advice. They could be wrong, but at

1142
01:16:26.120 --> 01:16:33.080
least consider it. Because it would have saved me a lot of pain and trouble if I

1143
01:16:33.080 --> 01:16:33.600
listened.

1144
01:16:34.240 --> 01:16:39.840
I second that I should have listened to my friends and people to for sure. Love

1145
01:16:39.840 --> 01:16:41.720
that Justin. Christina, how about you?

1146
01:16:47.440 --> 01:16:52.400
I would I would probably echo that. So I really was terrified of making a

1147
01:16:52.400 --> 01:16:55.440
mistake, as I'm sure many in this group are, especially if you have gone through

1148
01:16:55.920 --> 01:16:59.800
relationships. So that's why we went through three different types of

1149
01:16:59.800 --> 01:17:06.560
premarital counseling. And I saw the counselor separately, and was like, let's

1150
01:17:06.560 --> 01:17:10.120
go through this, make sure I'm not missing any red flags. And he would go

1151
01:17:10.120 --> 01:17:13.080
through and be like, okay, this is a red flag, we need to deal with this as a

1152
01:17:13.080 --> 01:17:18.120
yellow flag. That's a green flag. We walked through everything. So if you if

1153
01:17:18.120 --> 01:17:23.960
you are not sure, I would invite people in to make sure you're not missing

1154
01:17:23.960 --> 01:17:31.080
anything. Because love is blind. And here's what I would say. I see this, we

1155
01:17:31.080 --> 01:17:33.320
see this mistake with our friends all the time. And I used to make this

1156
01:17:33.320 --> 01:17:37.240
mistake. I think he used to make this mistake, too. It should actually be easy.

1157
01:17:37.840 --> 01:17:42.880
Not easy, and that like, you're never going to have problems. But like, life

1158
01:17:42.880 --> 01:17:46.720
together is easy. And I think in all of my other relationships, life was always

1159
01:17:46.720 --> 01:17:50.240
hard. Like you were always like you had good moments. But like the rest of the

1160
01:17:50.240 --> 01:17:53.840
time, I was like, it was hard. That's what I'm saying. Like, it's literally

1161
01:17:53.840 --> 01:17:58.080
like having your best friend with you all the time. And we don't. Like, sure,

1162
01:17:58.080 --> 01:18:01.440
we have fights, don't get me wrong. Perfect. But we don't fight all the time.

1163
01:18:01.440 --> 01:18:07.880
Like, it's, it's easy to be together. It feels weird when you're apart. And not

1164
01:18:07.880 --> 01:18:12.080
in like a codependent way. Like I have to have this person or I can't function.

1165
01:18:12.080 --> 01:18:17.960
But it's just like, you it just it feels right. And I think I didn't

1166
01:18:17.960 --> 01:18:22.280
understand that like, when people are like, you just know, until you know, I

1167
01:18:22.280 --> 01:18:25.720
don't think you know that you can know if that makes sense. But you can. And if

1168
01:18:25.720 --> 01:18:30.640
it if it does not in any way, shape, or form feel right, if there's any inkling

1169
01:18:30.640 --> 01:18:35.880
of doubt, like, dive into that more, because I ignored that so many times in

1170
01:18:35.880 --> 01:18:40.320
the past and ignored red flags and ignored things of advice or explained it

1171
01:18:40.320 --> 01:18:45.280
away. And it really and I see that with you guys, I can tell by watching you

1172
01:18:45.280 --> 01:18:50.000
guys, like when you find your person, it is so so easy to be with them.

1173
01:18:50.360 --> 01:18:55.720
Yeah, 100%. And I will say too, I love that you said that because Brian and I

1174
01:18:55.720 --> 01:19:00.200
talk about that. I mean, we, we don't really fight, but we have little when

1175
01:19:00.200 --> 01:19:02.800
we're really stressed about things. I mean, we don't fight.

1176
01:19:05.200 --> 01:19:10.320
No, life is just good. It's peaceful. Like I would say our life and our

1177
01:19:10.320 --> 01:19:14.160
marriage is marked by peace. But one of the things I was gonna say, on the tail

1178
01:19:14.160 --> 01:19:18.560
end of what you shared, because our people that struggle with avoidant

1179
01:19:18.560 --> 01:19:22.680
attachment, if y'all didn't catch the last advanced heartwork, remember, I'm

1180
01:19:22.680 --> 01:19:27.280
not saying people are avoidant attached people, I'm saying they struggle with it.

1181
01:19:27.280 --> 01:19:32.640
So just wanted to clarify that. But if they struggle with that, they're going to

1182
01:19:32.640 --> 01:19:36.680
be people that are always trying to avoid connection in different ways. Or

1183
01:19:36.720 --> 01:19:42.080
when that that relationship starts moving forward, they might avoid it. But

1184
01:19:42.760 --> 01:19:47.880
I do still think it's good to listen to people that God has placed around you

1185
01:19:47.880 --> 01:19:51.480
that are healthy community that are healthy family members. If you have toxic

1186
01:19:51.480 --> 01:19:55.440
family members, I wouldn't, or even friends, I wouldn't have them speaking

1187
01:19:55.440 --> 01:19:59.040
into your life. But just really, you know, come into this community. That's

1188
01:19:59.040 --> 01:20:00.080
what you're here for.

1189
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.820
or and talk to us about it. And hey, don't ignore the coaching

1190
01:20:04.820 --> 01:20:08.940
like there's so many people that could have like just protected

1191
01:20:08.940 --> 01:20:11.980
themselves, just like myself, when my friends were trying to

1192
01:20:11.980 --> 01:20:16.300
tell me, I just didn't want to hear it because I was trying to

1193
01:20:16.300 --> 01:20:20.540
make it work. I was trying, you know, but anyways, so those were

1194
01:20:20.540 --> 01:20:23.420
a couple thoughts I had. So Scottie and Olga, what would be

1195
01:20:23.420 --> 01:20:24.900
the advice you would give them?

1196
01:20:24.900 --> 01:20:34.820
Um, I have a few. One is, um, well, ones that God gave me

1197
01:20:34.820 --> 01:20:38.340
along the way. I know when I started dating, he was like,

1198
01:20:38.340 --> 01:20:41.980
stop looking at outer experience, outer appearances,

1199
01:20:41.980 --> 01:20:48.900
and just, um, and focus on fellowship. So when I judged,

1200
01:20:48.940 --> 01:20:52.260
okay, would I reach out to someone? It's just like, it was

1201
01:20:52.260 --> 01:20:56.900
like, is this someone that I could fellowship with? And so,

1202
01:20:57.260 --> 01:21:01.580
um, well, for that to even happen, they have to be

1203
01:21:01.580 --> 01:21:05.100
Christian. And that's what was important to me, obviously. And,

1204
01:21:05.180 --> 01:21:10.460
um, and then also that way, when you go to meet them, if you're

1205
01:21:10.460 --> 01:21:14.180
fellowshipping with them, and joining time together, then

1206
01:21:14.180 --> 01:21:16.660
there's nothing lost from that interaction, whether you're

1207
01:21:16.660 --> 01:21:19.100
meant to be with them or not. But it's just like, then you're

1208
01:21:19.100 --> 01:21:22.460
having an encounter. So yeah, instead of just coming to

1209
01:21:22.460 --> 01:21:25.180
someone being like, hey, this is my list, you have to be this for

1210
01:21:25.180 --> 01:21:29.660
me, or I expect this from you. It was more just like, like, is

1211
01:21:29.660 --> 01:21:33.780
this I don't know, spiritually, like, when we meet together,

1212
01:21:34.100 --> 01:21:36.900
like, is this someone that I could just spend some time with

1213
01:21:36.940 --> 01:21:40.580
and just start like that. And then yeah, for me, too, I had

1214
01:21:40.940 --> 01:21:44.220
different just routines for my day. So I already knew I

1215
01:21:44.220 --> 01:21:47.460
wouldn't meet someone doing my day to day week to week thing,

1216
01:21:47.460 --> 01:21:49.740
because it looked the same. So I was like, Oh, I'm gonna have

1217
01:21:49.740 --> 01:21:53.100
to do something different. So I think being willing, you just

1218
01:21:53.100 --> 01:21:56.100
have to be willing to do something different in order for

1219
01:21:56.100 --> 01:22:00.540
God to bring the person along. Like, if you haven't met them in

1220
01:22:00.540 --> 01:22:02.660
your day to day, then you're gonna have to either go

1221
01:22:02.660 --> 01:22:07.100
somewhere different, go on dating or do meet some new

1222
01:22:07.100 --> 01:22:11.140
people some way or other. So that's yeah, stepping out of

1223
01:22:11.140 --> 01:22:14.380
your comfort zone and just being willing to just meet people for

1224
01:22:14.380 --> 01:22:17.740
the sake of it, without loading them with expectations. Yeah.

1225
01:22:18.220 --> 01:22:21.580
And yeah, that's probably the main one. And then I think for

1226
01:22:21.580 --> 01:22:27.260
me as well, trusting that God is good, and just amazing good

1227
01:22:27.260 --> 01:22:30.740
things can happen. Because yeah, in our case, we had a lot of

1228
01:22:30.740 --> 01:22:34.100
people who are like, either burned by marriage or

1229
01:22:34.100 --> 01:22:37.220
relationships and have all kinds of stories about it. And we're

1230
01:22:37.220 --> 01:22:40.340
like, Oh, what if it can just be good? Like, of course, it's

1231
01:22:40.340 --> 01:22:43.980
difficulties. But for us, it's been so enjoyable. Like, we're

1232
01:22:43.980 --> 01:22:48.180
literally each other's bestie. And like, we just love spending

1233
01:22:48.180 --> 01:22:51.140
time together. So I was like, this can be good. You know?

1234
01:22:51.460 --> 01:22:55.260
Yeah. And God is good. Yeah. Yeah. And we're definitely no

1235
01:22:55.260 --> 01:22:59.020
drama people too. So we were like, Oh, I can't even think

1236
01:22:59.020 --> 01:23:03.980
about doing that. No drama club. Yeah. We're just like, yeah.

1237
01:23:05.660 --> 01:23:10.380
I would say to, to get involved at church and serve and put

1238
01:23:11.300 --> 01:23:15.980
for me putting other people before myself kind of got my

1239
01:23:15.980 --> 01:23:22.220
mind off of focusing so much on meeting someone that I just met

1240
01:23:22.300 --> 01:23:27.060
met you and it was it was amazing. So I would say to serve

1241
01:23:27.100 --> 01:23:30.780
and put people before your for yourself and God will do

1242
01:23:30.780 --> 01:23:35.260
something. He'll put someone in your path that you'll meet. But

1243
01:23:35.260 --> 01:23:36.700
that's what I would say for sure.

1244
01:23:37.420 --> 01:23:39.900
I love that. And it makes me think about how Jackie says so

1245
01:23:39.900 --> 01:23:43.500
many times, what we make happen for others, God will make

1246
01:23:43.500 --> 01:23:49.300
happen for us. Yeah. That y'all is so true. Every area of our

1247
01:23:49.300 --> 01:23:52.940
lives. And so I just think that's so great. What y'all

1248
01:23:52.940 --> 01:23:56.300
shared so much richness in our conversation tonight. Do you

1249
01:23:56.300 --> 01:23:59.180
have one that you want to share with everyone? Can you lean up

1250
01:23:59.180 --> 01:24:00.060
just so they can hear you?

1251
01:24:00.260 --> 01:24:04.700
Yeah, I think for me, kind of the process I went through and

1252
01:24:04.740 --> 01:24:08.500
meeting Bethany was just learning who I was and my

1253
01:24:08.500 --> 01:24:13.180
identity. We so much talked about marriages, two people

1254
01:24:13.180 --> 01:24:17.580
becoming one flesh, but you're still two souls. You still have

1255
01:24:17.580 --> 01:24:22.900
your own identity. So part of we jokingly talk about meeting her

1256
01:24:22.900 --> 01:24:26.700
and I like Legos Marvel. Part of that came out of previous

1257
01:24:26.740 --> 01:24:31.140
marriage. I was in 15 years. I always had to be who she wanted

1258
01:24:31.140 --> 01:24:34.140
me to be. I never could be myself. I could never enjoy the

1259
01:24:34.140 --> 01:24:38.300
things that I enjoy. And so bouncing off what Christina said

1260
01:24:38.300 --> 01:24:42.180
kind of stuck out to me. It's really easy to be yourself in a

1261
01:24:42.180 --> 01:24:46.540
relationship. That's healthy. If you Yes, if you can be yourself

1262
01:24:46.540 --> 01:24:49.820
and your spouse loves you for it's really easy to be yourself

1263
01:24:49.820 --> 01:24:52.980
and of course, you're not perfect and nobody's perfect and

1264
01:24:52.980 --> 01:24:56.180
we make mistakes. But I don't have to walk around on

1265
01:24:56.180 --> 01:24:59.620
eggshells or trying to be somewhere I'm not. So find out

1266
01:24:59.620 --> 01:24:59.940
who you

1267
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:04.400
or find out, you know, if you maybe sit down with coffee and say, Hey, I like to float.

1268
01:25:04.400 --> 01:25:06.000
You might have to explain that a little bit more,

1269
01:25:08.240 --> 01:25:14.240
who you are and help that person get to know who you are so that if it does work out,

1270
01:25:14.240 --> 01:25:17.440
they'll love you. And it's really easy to be yourself in a relationship,

1271
01:25:18.080 --> 01:25:23.360
but there's so much pressure. A lot of times you want to be in a relationship or you want to make

1272
01:25:23.360 --> 01:25:28.320
the other person happy. So you're trying to be someone that they want you to be or what they're

1273
01:25:28.320 --> 01:25:35.040
looking for. And that never works because it's always, you can't just not be yourself. And that

1274
01:25:35.040 --> 01:25:40.960
causes tension. So I just say, you know, learn who you are so that you can be yourself and find

1275
01:25:40.960 --> 01:25:46.880
someone who loves, you know, that part of you. Yeah. Yeah. And as we start to close you all,

1276
01:25:46.880 --> 01:25:53.280
the thing that I want to say with that is that the reason so many people lose themselves in

1277
01:25:53.280 --> 01:25:59.440
relationships is because they don't know who they are. Okay. So some of you that really struggle

1278
01:25:59.440 --> 01:26:05.280
with that, I want to encourage you to take the season that spring and forward movement to really

1279
01:26:05.280 --> 01:26:10.640
like, what are your hobbies? Like, what do you love to do? Like, how do you feel about things

1280
01:26:10.640 --> 01:26:16.160
like, and really get to know yourself so that when you come into relationship, again, you're

1281
01:26:16.160 --> 01:26:21.760
two whole people hopefully coming in and making each other like coming one, but it's a healthy

1282
01:26:21.760 --> 01:26:27.760
one because both of the individuals were healthy coming together because your identity matters in

1283
01:26:27.760 --> 01:26:34.080
this world. God created you with an identity that's yours and you will have an identity as

1284
01:26:34.080 --> 01:26:38.880
an individual. And then you'll also have an identity as a couple and it's pretty amazing,

1285
01:26:38.880 --> 01:26:43.360
but you want to be able to have both of those things existing at the same time.

1286
01:26:43.360 --> 01:26:48.480
And so we hope tonight was a blessing to you. I loved these stories, Christina and Justin. Thank

1287
01:26:48.480 --> 01:26:53.680
you. Scotty and Olga, thank you for being here and sharing your stories and your lives with us.

1288
01:26:53.680 --> 01:26:58.720
And for all of those from the community, we're praying for you. I want to pray for your spirit

1289
01:26:58.720 --> 01:27:03.840
mates before we close. And yeah, and then we'll just kind of close the night out. Father, thank

1290
01:27:03.840 --> 01:27:10.560
you so much for all of our amazing brothers and sisters. God, thank you for everything you're

1291
01:27:10.560 --> 01:27:16.160
doing in their lives, all the things that you're revealing to them, even tonight, God, we ask you

1292
01:27:16.160 --> 01:27:21.520
to help them to continue to take the next best step that you have for them, Lord, to grow in

1293
01:27:21.520 --> 01:27:28.880
their identity and you, Father, to get involved in their churches, to really step into all of the

1294
01:27:28.880 --> 01:27:33.280
blessings that you have for them. Maybe it's a mindset shift that comes from the heart change,

1295
01:27:33.280 --> 01:27:37.600
but God, we thank you that every step is leading them towards their spirit mate. And God, I thank

1296
01:27:37.600 --> 01:27:42.800
you that you're leading their spirit mates towards them. God, when discouragement or any kind of

1297
01:27:42.800 --> 01:27:47.280
fears rise up, we thank you that you are the one that can raise up a standard against the enemy.

1298
01:27:47.280 --> 01:27:53.760
So help us, Lord, to take authority over the enemy and to not back down, to not believe the lies that

1299
01:27:53.760 --> 01:28:00.400
the enemy is saying, and to stand on your truth, to stand firm on the promises that you've made to

1300
01:28:00.400 --> 01:28:06.640
us and that you've been ministering to us about. Help us to walk in your wisdom more and more every

1301
01:28:06.640 --> 01:28:13.360
day. In Jesus name, amen. Amen. You all, God bless you. We'll be seeing everybody in the groups.

1302
01:28:13.360 --> 01:28:19.440
Have a great night, everyone. Thanks, guys. Bye. Bye-bye.