WEBVTT

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Good evening, hello everyone.

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Rhea, can you hear me now?

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Not sure if you can hear me now or not.

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I don't know if that's how you say your name either, but giving it a shot.

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If someone can type in the chat for me for her,

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just so that I can go ahead and get us started,

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that she might want to check her audio on her device.

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So, Father, we just thank you for the start of this session.

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We pray that you'll help Rhea get connected,

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and we just thank you for bringing all these amazing ladies here,

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as well as those that will be joining us, those that will watch the replay.

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My name is Bethany Cooper.

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I'm so glad to be here with you tonight.

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I'm one of the HeartWork coaches in the community,

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and just so thankful to get an opportunity to meet all of you,

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to be on this journey with you, to see what God's doing in your lives,

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to hear about the breakthroughs, the revelations,

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the moments of joy and celebration, all of the things in between.

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And so we're so glad that you chose to say yes to yourself on this journey,

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and to jump in with Jesus and just see what he had in store.

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And we just love that we get to see a small glimpse of that journey

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in this season of your life.

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So, if you are new, if you're joining us for the first time,

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thank you, Karen.

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If you're joining us for the first time, let us know in the chat

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so we can welcome you.

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Ladies joining us again, you've been here before.

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Welcome back.

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We're so glad to see you again.

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I want to encourage all of you, if you're able,

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to come on screen with me tonight and with Karen and Mika.

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Yep, there we go.

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Hi.

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Oh, that's right.

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Karen Rios and Karen Roa have both of you.

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Forgot, I have two Karens now.

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I've got to remember that.

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Love it.

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But come on camera.

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Let us see you.

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Why do we ask you to do that here in the heart work and in this community?

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Well, because we need to come out of hiding and allow ourselves to be seen,

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known, heard, and loved.

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It's a really important part of your healing process,

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way more than you even realize.

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So many times people don't even like to look at themselves in the mirror.

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They don't like to see themselves on a screen.

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And ladies, if you can't do it here,

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most likely you're going to really struggle to do it with dating.

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Okay?

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So practice now.

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And even for some of you,

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to allow yourselves to be seen by another woman that you don't know super

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well can feel a little uncomfortable.

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But, again, if we all get out of our comfort zones and stretch,

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I believe God's going to bring some freedom for you.

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And we love to see you.

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I love to see you.

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It helps me know who you are a little bit better,

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which I see pictures for the most part.

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You know, if somebody has a profile picture, that helps.

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But sometimes when there's a black screen,

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it's a little harder to make a connection with that.

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Right?

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So I want to connect with you.

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We want to connect with you.

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And that's a great way to make that happen.

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All right.

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Just a couple of housekeeping in addition to that.

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Supernatural Saturday, if you haven't heard it yet,

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Jackie said she woke up with 3D words.

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And God was speaking to her to come and share about those with us.

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Distractions, disruptions, delays, and dead ends.

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So check that out.

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It's in the replay tab.

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Okay.

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So here's a couple things.

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I have been realizing that not everybody knows that the weekly role

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call post goes up on Sundays.

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So what that's for is so we can do a check-in with you.

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It's just a quick way for us to like, okay,

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if I haven't seen you for a week,

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if I'm a friend of yours or I'm coaching you in person, guess what?

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I love to do a check-in with you in addition to group setting.

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Like, hey, how's your week going?

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What week of the heart work are you processing

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and working on all of that kind of little stuff.

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But we also try to tie in a little bit of the supernatural Saturday to

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that weekly roll call post.

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If you haven't seen that yet, that was put up yesterday morning.

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It is under the community tab in the app and you can check that out

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there.

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It's pinned to the top, but we want to hear from you,

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even if it's just once a week, ladies.

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Okay.

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So please respond to that or create your own standalone post.

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But either way we'd love to,

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we want to hear from you and hear what God is doing.

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Here are your questions, all of the things.

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And then also, if you didn't know, when you join our community,

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we would love for you to do an introduction post.

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So in that introduction post, just share a couple things about yourself.

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You know, it can be things you love to do.

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It could be what led you here.

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It could be both of those things, you know,

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you don't have to get super personal, but just a little bit.

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So we can get to know you and share a picture of yourself.

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So share a picture that you like of yourself and let us see you in that

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way as well.

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All right.

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So let me pray for us.

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And officially I was praying a little bit just for Rhea,

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help her get connected.

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Hopefully she was able to get connected there.

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Rachel, welcome for the first time, Katie, this is your first time.

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Awesome.

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Welcome.

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Welcome.

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All right.

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So we have two new ladies tonight.

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Welcome back to all my other ladies again.

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Thanks so much for being here.

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And we are excited to see what God's going to do.

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Father, we just thank you right now.

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just in this moment, just that we are all brought here

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for such a time as this, God,

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that we will never all be in this same place at this time

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for this intended purpose ever again.

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So Lori, we thank you for bringing

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every one of these ladies together tonight,

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as well as those that are gonna watch the replay,

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those that are in the group all at the same time.

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God, we pray for supernatural sisterhoods to form.

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We pray for friendships

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where women have gotten hurt in the past.

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God, we ask you to help them to let down their walls

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and that you would help them to open their hearts

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through grace and courage to just the new community

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that you've now placed around them.

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God, we thank you for healing in those areas.

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We ask you, God, to bring anything out of the darkness

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into the light so that we can hear

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what your spirit is saying needs revealed.

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Help us, Father, to lean into your heart,

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to not turn away from you or pull back.

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God, even when you're revealing areas

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that might feel tender or difficult to process at times,

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God, we thank you that the word declares

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that when we are overwhelmed, we can turn to you.

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So Lord, we thank you

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that you lift all of our burdens off of us.

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Jesus, we can cast our cares upon you

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because you care for us.

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So we ask you to just lift every care off of every woman,

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even tonight, help them to know that you love them,

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that you're working on their behalf.

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Even when their eyes can't see it,

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God, help their hearts and hope to rise up,

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faith to rise up so that they can believe

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in the supernatural work of your power

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and your presence in their lives

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and every day in every situation.

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In Jesus' name, amen.

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Tonight, we're gonna talk about

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the Revealing for Healing cycle

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and a little bit more about how the heart is a womb

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and how we need to be careful

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about what we allow to get in there.

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And I'm gonna talk about squatters

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and evicting them tonight.

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So it's gonna be really good.

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But before we go there,

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I was reading this morning

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and really felt led to declare Psalm 119

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over our phase one group and not the whole thing.

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If y'all don't know,

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Psalm 119 is like one of the longest Psalms,

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but several verses.

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So bear with me,

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but I feel like it's really powerful way

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for us to start tonight.

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And I'll tell you the verses,

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but I'm gonna go quick.

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So if somebody wants to help grab those for everybody

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and put that in the chat, that would be amazing.

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So I'm starting out in Psalm 119 in the NIV version,

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and I'm starting in verse two through three.

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Blessed are those who keep his statutes

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and seek him with all their heart.

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They do no wrong, but follow his ways.

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Verse 10 through 12, I seek you with all my heart.

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Do not let me stray from your commands.

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I have hidden your word in my heart

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that I might not sin against you.

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Praise be to you, Lord, teach me your decrees.

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Verse 15 through 16, I meditate on your precepts

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and consider your ways.

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I delight in your decrees.

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I will not neglect your word.

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Verse 18, open my eyes that I may see

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wonderful things in your law.

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Verse 30 through 32, I have chosen the way of faithfulness.

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I've set my heart on your laws.

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I hold fast to your statutes, Lord.

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Do not let me be put to shame.

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I run in the path of your commands

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for you have broadened my understanding.

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Verses 33 through 37, teach me, Lord,

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the way of your decrees that I may follow it to the end.

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Give me understanding so that I may keep your law

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and obey it with all of my heart.

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Direct me in the path of your commands

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for there I find the light.

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Turn my heart towards your statutes

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and not towards selfish gain.

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Turn my eyes away from worthless things.

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Preserve my life according to your word.

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All right, now I'm gonna skip down to 57 through 59.

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You are my portion, Lord.

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I have promised to obey your words.

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I have sought your face with all of my heart.

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Be gracious to me according to your promise.

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I have considered my ways

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and have turned my steps to your statutes.

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I'm gonna do one more set here, 76 and 77.

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May your unfailing love be my comfort.

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According to your promise to your servant,

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let your compassion come to me

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that I may live for your law is my delight.

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The reason I read those tonight, a couple things.

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I want you all to notice

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there's a lot of I statements there,

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but it came after the adoration and praise

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towards the Lord as well as saying,

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hey, Lord, give me more understanding of your word.

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Help my heart delight in you.

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I'm gonna live and obey your commands.

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I'm gonna walk in your ways.

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Open my eyes that I might see wonderful things

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in your law and your word.

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So it's like there's this conversation going on.

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He's talking to the Lord the whole time,

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but it's like he's reflecting,

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but then he's saying, okay, this is what I'm gonna do.

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This is what I need.

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I need you to teach me.

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me Lord, teach me, give me understanding. And so as we are leaning into the revealing for healing,

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I feel like it's a really good setup for that. Because here's the thing, ladies, we don't want

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to ever get out shovels and start digging, trying to figure out what's wrong with us, trying to get

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to the root of the matter on our own. Okay, we want to really lean into, Lord, what do you need

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to reveal in my heart and life for healing, help me to recognize what you're saying, and respond

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to those things. And trust that his timing is perfect and everything that he reveals as you're

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going on your journey. Okay. And then in all of that, give me understanding, you know, he can give

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us understanding not only for his word, but to understand why certain things are being revealed,

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and what they might be connected to. And we don't have to put any pressure on ourselves,

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we don't have to let the enemy put pressure on us, because sometimes, even that will happen, like

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people will be getting revealings for healing, and then all of a sudden, they're feeling stress and

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pressure, because they can't figure out all the pieces and parts of that. Well, we don't have to,

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that's where we can completely surrender and rely on the Lord to show us all things to show us all

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the truth. Okay. All right, Katie, so hopefully that's helping you to remember that God's got

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you, you don't have to do this alone, ladies, he's, he's gone before you, the Holy Spirit is

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your comforter, your counselor, and your guide. He's your ever present help in times of trouble,

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but also in times of like questioning, and wanting more knowledge and understanding and all of the

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things. Alright, so I in a minute, I'm going to bring up the revealing for healing cycle.

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If you've just started with us, it's okay, you won't know you're that's in week three.

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But you're supposed to be here tonight. Okay, so everybody comes every single week, who is able to

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come. And basically, I kind of pick from different weeks, and I coach on different stuff from

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throughout the course, and also try to just coach you on and help you all go deeper in it. So just

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if you're in week one, it's okay. So I don't want anyone to worry, if you're in week five, you're

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still going to get a refresher. So hopefully, God is going to really bring more enlightenment

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understanding. And most importantly, we want you to know that we don't view in this community,

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the heartwork as just a five week, okay, I went through the heartwork, I'm done, we view it as a

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process for your life. These are tools that you are learning in this journey right now that you

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can apply, you know, well into the remainder of your life, you'll have been married almost,

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like two and a half, a little over two and a half years now, I'm still using the tools that I

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learned in heartwork in, you know, when I was engaged, when I'm married, when I went through

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the situation with my family, you know, recently, my dad passed away and all the dynamics there and

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all this stuff, right. And so I want you all to know, like, these are things that can help you

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for a long time, if you want to apply them that way. Alright, so when I bring that chart up,

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I'm gonna or that worksheet up, I'm going to show you kind of how to walk through it

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with some of my own life. And I hope that it will help you all relate a little bit,

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your story might be completely different, okay. And I want to preface it with this,

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some of you all may have grown up in really healthy homes, okay. And that's amazing. But I

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want you to keep a very open mind that even if you don't have trauma, like someone else,

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that doesn't mean that there's not wounds or things that you experienced emotions that you have

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lies that you've been believing that have been causing you to be stuck, okay. So don't feel like

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when you hear other people's stories, well, you know, the enemy will often attack people that

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have had good homes and be like, why are you you know, like theirs is so much worse than yours?

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Why are you and try to make you feel like your emotions and feelings, like you shouldn't have

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them for some reason. Okay, so I want you all to understand that every single one of you has

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emotions and feelings. And part of what we're going to do tonight is we're going to talk about

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how on our journey, a lot of the time, the enemy will try to, like get you to push your emotions

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and feelings down through all different kinds of circumstances. So some of you, you start

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hard work, and you're just kind of like numb, you're numb. So you're not feeling massive emotions

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like some other people are. And then we have others who, man, they're just from day one,

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they just tears and crying, or maybe you're somewhere in between. If you are numb by the

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time you I think it's at the end of week two, or maybe week three, I can't remember when Jackie

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says it, we do encourage you to go back and start over at the beginning of week one. Here's why.

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Because if you come in very, and not because you're trying to be when I say this, but if we if

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we come into a situation like this, heart healing, and we're

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We're very calloused, we're very got walls up,

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we're very kind of hardened, toughened to survive.

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Well, it takes time for us to recognize even physiologically

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that we are in a safe environment

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and it's okay for us to be vulnerable.

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Some of you it might take longer than others.

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We have a lady, I don't know if she'll be on tonight or not

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but she's been in for a while and guess what?

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It's okay because her journey when she came in,

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that's kind of been a part of her story.

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You know, it's just taken a little while and that's okay.

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So whatever your journey is and looks like,

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I just want you to know, you know,

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it's okay to give yourself permission to heal, okay?

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All right, so as we look at the revealing

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for healing cycle as well,

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I wanna remind you that you can't replace events.

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We can't go back and change what's happened

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whether it's stuff we've done,

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other people have done it to us,

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whatever that dynamic looks like,

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but what we can replace are the lies that we believe

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as a result of those wounds and traumas, okay?

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That's what we can replace.

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So let me bring this up

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and start to show you all what this looks like.

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And again, you might've already seen it some of you

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but this hopefully will help you unpack it

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a little bit more,

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understand how to apply it in your everyday life.

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Can you all see that on the screen?

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If you have a phone, it might be a little tougher

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but that's probably as big as I could make it for tonight.

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All right, so typically,

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when we do the revealing for healing cycle,

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we will encourage you,

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tonight I'm gonna encourage you to start

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with negative emotions that you feel.

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For some of you,

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because you haven't felt your emotions for a long time,

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like I was just talking about,

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you may have to start at a different place, okay?

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So you might have to start with the trauma story, okay?

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I know like, you know,

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some of the traumas you've been through

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and then identifying the lies you've believed,

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you know, and then kind of work your way backwards

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before you can work your way forwards.

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Does that make sense, everyone?

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All right.

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All right, so we encourage you to start

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with the pink circle, negative emotions.

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I'm gonna, again, give you a kind of an example

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through my own life

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and hopefully this will help you start

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to relate a little bit to your own life.

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So emotion, like what negative emotions

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are you currently feeling?

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So some of you, even right now,

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if stuff comes to your mind,

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as I'm walking through this for yourself personally,

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I would encourage you to go ahead

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and write that stuff down, okay?

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So a negative emotion

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that I'm gonna give the example of tonight is fear.

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Fear in general, but also fear of the dark

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and fear around men.

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Those were two really big fear drivers for me

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growing up and over the years.

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So my negative emotion was fear,

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which also led to panic, dread,

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like all the kind of stuff hung out together,

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but those were things that I would feel

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inside of myself on a regular basis.

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Then I move on to the teal one, the painful memory.

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And a lot of times people will be like,

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well, what's the difference between a painful memory

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and a trauma story?

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So I'm gonna give you a little bit of an example.

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The way that I like to explain it

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is the painful memory is more of like the overarching,

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you know, kind of bigger memory or thought process.

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So for me, abused by men, okay?

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My painful memory is I'm abused by men,

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but my trauma stories are my detail parts of that, okay?

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So for example, sexually abused by my brothers

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when I was younger, emotional, mental, spiritual abuse,

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pretty much every form of abuse with my ex-husband.

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And then I have two stories

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that were from when I was younger

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that thankfully nothing happened in these situations.

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Like I ended up being safe,

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but they very much felt similar traumatic wise for me.

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One was when I was in elementary school,

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my mom took my sister and I to someone's house,

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I think that she was an acquaintance or a friend with,

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and they had all the kids go upstairs to play.

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And we were up there and honestly,

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I don't remember how old this boy was or anything like that.

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But at one point, this boy that was there,

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like locked me in this room with him,

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like by putting this dresser in front of the door

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so I couldn't get out.

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And my sister was like trying to push the door open.

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It was like all this like,

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and I remember like being afraid of us getting in trouble.

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I remember being afraid of like being shut in there with him

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but my sister got through the door and she took me

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and we went downstairs and literally that's all I remember.

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But I just remember that fear of being locked in that room

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with this boy.

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And then in high school, someone that I considered a friend

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but really showed herself many times

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to not be a good friend.

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But at this time we were supposedly friends hanging out.

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There was a whole group of guys and girls

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at this person's house.

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house, and she decided she was going to shove something down my shirt, and she kind of pushed

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me into the bathroom. Next thing I know, one of the guys that's there comes in. Well, she

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gave him the assignment to retrieve the ball that she had put down my shirt, and they thought

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it was some big game. Well, they had no clue what I had been through in my life. A, I don't

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think that's a funny game anyways, but B, I was massively triggered. I was freaking

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out. It was not a good situation, and so then I also had trauma because that was like

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happening in front of people that I hung out with, you know? And so, just want y'all to

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understand, again, the painful memory for me, the kind of overarching thing is, okay,

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I am abused by men, but my trauma stories are the actual stories where I can start to

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identify the trauma that happened that's connected to the other painful memories. Does that make

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sense? All right. So, I'm going to keep moving. So, lies that I believed are revealed. A couple

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lies that I believed, and there were more, you all, but I'm just going to give you two

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examples tonight. All men are abusive. That was one lie I believed. I need to be afraid

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of men was another lie that I believed, and so we never want you to stop just at that

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lies believed are revealed or the trauma stories or, hey, this is my negative emotion. We don't

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want you just to stop there. We want to ask God to help reveal these things for healing,

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but we want to keep going through the cycle because what happens sometimes, too, is sometimes

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some of us, we start to identify some of these things, and then we get stuck there because

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we're afraid to process our trauma, okay? It's very real. I know it can be tough, but

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remember that you're not alone in this process. God isn't going to leave you in the middle

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of this and abandon you, and if that is a lie you believe, then I want to encourage

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you to really ask the Lord to show you when was the first time you believed that lie and

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really unpack that with him, but we want to go all the way through this whole cycle to

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the green one where it says God reveals the truth. Well, how does he reveal the truth?

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We ask, we look at the lie we've been believing, and then we ask God to show us the opposite

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of that, okay? Typically, the way I like to do it is I like to form a declaration

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statement that's the opposite of the lie I've believed, and then I like to have scripture

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to support that. That's one of my favorite things to do. It helps me stand on the word,

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but it also helps me have things that I can declare daily over myself, so one of the truths

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that I have is you don't have to fear or be afraid. My scriptures, Isaiah 41.10, so do

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not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and

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help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41.13, for I am the Lord

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your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear. I will help

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you, and then also 2 Timothy, I think it's 1.7. I meant to look this up this afternoon.

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It says I do not have a spirit, for we do not have a spirit of fear, but we have love

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and have power and have a sound mind, because fear has to do with torment, ladies, remember?

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So we want to understand God doesn't want us to walk in fear. He didn't design us and

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create us with fear in us, okay? But he gave us the truth that we can stand on to overcome

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all of that. The second truth to replace the lie, I can trust God to protect me. I, Bethany,

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can trust God to protect me. Psalm 121, verse 7 through 8, the Lord will keep you from all

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harm. He will watch over your life. The Lord will watch over your coming and your going,

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both now and forevermore. All right, now I want to see everyone why I say this next part.

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So what I hear sometimes, and I know that it can be tough, well, if I can trust God

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to protect me, then why did he not protect me when I was abused or, you know, someone

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betrayed me or whatever the dynamic is that we have gone through? And here is the answer

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to that, ladies. He gives everyone free will. Everyone has a choice. Every single day, I

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have a choice if I'm going to choose healthy or unhealthy. Am I going to go down a good

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path or an unhealthy path? You know, and everyone else has that same choice as well. All right?

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If he superseded that, then he would literally, like, everything would change and the whole

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of creation. Just like when we choose Jesus as our Savior, you all, Jesus didn't force

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his way in. You chose. Hopefully you did. If you were strong-armed into believing, you

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know, then that's different. But for most of us, we chose to accept Jesus as our Lord

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and Savior and what? Invite him into our hearts and our lives, right? Same thing.

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Okay, so we all have free will we're all given the ability to choose. Unfortunately, some people choose really unhealthy evil things

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Right, but just like God forgave me. I

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Also can forgive other people. Okay, and we'll talk about forgiveness in another week more in depth

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But I just want y'all to know we can trust God to protect us. I believe that even in those situations without

475
00:25:24.960 --> 00:25:30.420
Understanding it fully there were times when I can look back where God did help like, you know

476
00:25:30.420 --> 00:25:34.560
parent come home earlier than they were supposed to and all these different things like God was

477
00:25:34.880 --> 00:25:38.920
Was doing things to try to help me in those situations

478
00:25:38.920 --> 00:25:43.720
So I want you all to understand that there are things that I can see now that I couldn't see way back

479
00:25:43.960 --> 00:25:48.880
Years ago the more I heal the more I see the truth. Okay. All right

480
00:25:49.560 --> 00:25:52.600
So here's breakout question number one, all right

481
00:25:52.920 --> 00:26:00.880
What is a negative emotion or memory that God is bringing up in your life tonight that you that he's revealing for healing?

482
00:26:01.200 --> 00:26:04.440
It could be if you don't have a negative emotion or memory

483
00:26:04.440 --> 00:26:09.360
You can talk about a lie if there's a lie that God's been revealing to you this week. Just go with that

484
00:26:09.360 --> 00:26:13.160
I want y'all to know wherever you're at tonight as you go in this breakout

485
00:26:13.160 --> 00:26:16.800
I don't want you to worry about having to have an answers for some of you

486
00:26:16.800 --> 00:26:22.400
Maybe nothing's coming up right now. And if that's the case, it's okay. Just go in and just say, you know

487
00:26:22.400 --> 00:26:27.840
And I'm just still kind of processing even what she was was sharing. But these are some thoughts that came to mind

488
00:26:27.840 --> 00:26:29.840
You know just go with whatever is

489
00:26:30.400 --> 00:26:32.400
Coming up, but if you can answer that question

490
00:26:33.120 --> 00:26:37.840
What is a negative emotion or memory that God is bringing up in your spirit tonight for revealing for healing?

491
00:26:37.840 --> 00:26:42.080
I would love for you to do that. All right, let me get these breakout rooms set up

492
00:26:47.240 --> 00:26:49.240
All right

493
00:26:54.440 --> 00:27:00.320
I'm gonna do eight minutes on this first one. I have about three people almost in every room

494
00:27:01.080 --> 00:27:03.080
want to encourage you all to

495
00:27:03.880 --> 00:27:07.200
Remember, especially on a night like tonight. You don't have to fix each other

496
00:27:07.360 --> 00:27:12.040
You don't have to coach each other advise each other. This is this is a tool. I'm going to give you and

497
00:27:13.040 --> 00:27:17.120
Go ahead and listen to your sisters as they share. Remember ladies keep it short brief and powerful

498
00:27:17.120 --> 00:27:20.720
So everyone has time to go and then if you have extra time at the end just get to know each other

499
00:27:21.000 --> 00:27:22.960
But when your sister shares

500
00:27:22.960 --> 00:27:27.080
Even if they someone cries in your room or anything like that, don't feel like you got to fix them

501
00:27:27.080 --> 00:27:29.920
Just say thank you so much. I'm gonna use hope

502
00:27:30.240 --> 00:27:30.840
Thank you

503
00:27:30.840 --> 00:27:37.640
Hope so much for sharing that with us tonight and trusting us with your story and then the next person can go on and go

504
00:27:37.640 --> 00:27:38.920
Okay. All right

505
00:27:38.920 --> 00:27:40.440
so that's how you can kind of

506
00:27:40.440 --> 00:27:46.800
Get out of feeling like you have to help that person not feel what they feel because tonight remember we're practicing

507
00:27:47.720 --> 00:27:53.680
Acknowledging our emotions and our feelings so we don't want to worry about trying to fix that. Okay in someone. All right. Awesome

508
00:27:54.520 --> 00:27:58.160
Here you go. Go ahead and click to join those rooms. I'm gonna be praying for you all

509
00:28:09.920 --> 00:28:14.880
You are you having a hard time getting in the room

510
00:28:22.320 --> 00:28:24.320
All right, we got

511
00:28:24.560 --> 00:28:30.400
Give me one sec ladies and I'll start praying. I just want to make sure nobody's sitting in a room by themselves. I found one

512
00:28:30.400 --> 00:28:32.400
You

513
00:28:36.600 --> 00:28:41.480
Okay, father, thank you so much. Hi Sylvia. Did you did you just join us or did you get kicked out?

514
00:28:43.360 --> 00:28:46.840
They kicked you out, let me see what room you were and oh

515
00:28:49.000 --> 00:28:54.480
I see I'm six. I don't know. I wonder why that happened. All right, here we go. Let's see if that works

516
00:28:55.840 --> 00:28:57.440
You're welcome

517
00:28:57.440 --> 00:29:02.880
All right father, we just thank you so much for tonight we thank you God for the revealings for healing that are already happening

518
00:29:03.440 --> 00:29:05.440
God we thank you that

519
00:29:06.560 --> 00:29:13.160
Yeah, we're the strong man has really taken hold of some of these ladies in their lives and their families God

520
00:29:13.160 --> 00:29:17.160
We thank you that you are bringing down the strong man tonight as your word declares

521
00:29:17.160 --> 00:29:22.320
And we thank you that you're gonna come in and and not only clean the house out

522
00:29:22.320 --> 00:29:25.120
But you're gonna fill the house with your presence. So Holy Spirit

523
00:29:25.120 --> 00:29:32.240
We just ask you to come and fill this place fill every woman with a refreshing of your Holy Spirit to overflowing

524
00:29:32.760 --> 00:29:39.160
God that they would have a divine encounter with you. Not only tonight, but in the week ahead God. We thank you that

525
00:29:39.880 --> 00:29:45.960
Your love is great for us. And even as we were reading earlier God. We're we're thankful for

526
00:29:48.760 --> 00:29:50.760
Sorry, someone's in a room now again by themselves

527
00:29:51.120 --> 00:29:55.800
We're thankful for your power and your presence that's at work even when we can't see it God

528
00:29:55.800 --> 00:30:00.000
We know your word declares that you're working. We thank you Jesus that you're sitting at the right hand

529
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.360
The father right now interceding for every one of these ladies by name, you're interceding

530
00:30:06.360 --> 00:30:13.520
for Kristen and Kimberly, Michelle, Rhea, Glenna, Joanne, Karen Roa, Felicia, Karen

531
00:30:13.520 --> 00:30:22.040
Rios, Vern, Joy, Rosie, Sarah from SoCal, Juanita, Mika, Sue K., Anna Smith, Hope, Sylvia,

532
00:30:22.040 --> 00:30:30.680
Erin, Jennifer G., Katie Chester, the woman that has the 817 number, Amanda, Mikal, Alicia,

533
00:30:30.680 --> 00:30:38.320
Laura, Ruth, Candy, Kim, and Maria, and everyone else who is on the replay when they watch

534
00:30:38.320 --> 00:30:39.320
it live.

535
00:30:39.320 --> 00:30:44.200
We know that you call us by name and that the hairs on our head are all numbered.

536
00:30:44.200 --> 00:30:50.900
So we thank you that you would just come in again and just love on these ladies and help

537
00:30:50.900 --> 00:30:55.220
them to hear what your spirit is saying to them louder than any voice of the enemy.

538
00:30:55.220 --> 00:30:59.060
Even if they feel nervous or fearful while they're on this session, God, we thank you

539
00:30:59.060 --> 00:31:05.420
that you would just say to their spirit, peace, be still, that you would calm the raging storm

540
00:31:05.420 --> 00:31:07.940
inside of them and help them to hear what your spirit is saying.

541
00:31:07.940 --> 00:31:09.940
Rhea, did you get kicked out?

542
00:31:09.940 --> 00:31:10.940
Oh.

543
00:31:10.940 --> 00:31:15.780
All right, I'm going to keep going.

544
00:31:15.780 --> 00:31:17.020
So Laura, we just thank you for that.

545
00:31:17.020 --> 00:31:22.540
We thank you, God, that you would just remind us, Lord, of more of your truth, that you

546
00:31:22.540 --> 00:31:25.180
would help us to hear.

547
00:31:25.180 --> 00:31:29.820
And even as your word declares that we would ask, seek, and knock, and keep on asking,

548
00:31:29.820 --> 00:31:36.660
seeking, and knocking for your truth, for your revelation, Psalm 139, 17 through 18

549
00:31:36.660 --> 00:31:37.660
says this,

550
00:31:37.660 --> 00:31:39.660
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God!

551
00:31:39.660 --> 00:31:41.340
They cannot be numbered.

552
00:31:41.340 --> 00:31:43.280
I can't even count them.

553
00:31:43.280 --> 00:31:45.360
They outnumber the grains of sand.

554
00:31:45.360 --> 00:31:49.680
And when I wake up, you are still with me.

555
00:31:49.680 --> 00:31:54.840
So Lord, I thank you that you're having all kinds of good thoughts about all of us tonight,

556
00:31:54.840 --> 00:32:00.960
that even as your daughters are gathered, that you're smiling over us.

557
00:32:00.960 --> 00:32:07.640
I believe that you're also, it makes me think of Zephaniah 3, 17, that it talks a little

558
00:32:07.640 --> 00:32:10.120
bit about him dancing over us.

559
00:32:10.120 --> 00:32:12.040
God celebrates over us, ladies.

560
00:32:12.040 --> 00:32:16.260
And I pray that you would understand that and receive that more and more in the days

561
00:32:16.260 --> 00:32:23.840
to come, that you would enable and open your hearts to the Lord in such a way that you

562
00:32:23.840 --> 00:32:30.720
would be able to hear his perspective of you in every situation and dynamic, and that his

563
00:32:30.720 --> 00:32:35.080
voice would replace the lies of the enemy that came through other people to harm you

564
00:32:35.080 --> 00:32:37.440
in any way.

565
00:32:37.440 --> 00:32:43.640
Isaiah 43, 19, excuse me, says this, be alert, be present.

566
00:32:43.640 --> 00:32:48.040
Oh, Rhea, do you need me to put you in there again?

567
00:32:48.040 --> 00:32:52.120
I think you might maybe have a second phone line or something.

568
00:32:52.120 --> 00:32:54.960
I'm going to send that to you so you can click on it.

569
00:32:54.960 --> 00:32:56.960
All right.

570
00:32:56.960 --> 00:32:58.960
All right.

571
00:32:58.960 --> 00:33:07.120
Isaiah 43, 19 in the message version says this, be alert, be present.

572
00:33:07.120 --> 00:33:09.840
I'm about to do something brand new.

573
00:33:09.840 --> 00:33:12.360
It's bursting out.

574
00:33:12.360 --> 00:33:13.800
Don't you see it?

575
00:33:13.800 --> 00:33:14.880
There it is.

576
00:33:14.880 --> 00:33:19.120
I'm making a road through the desert and rivers in the badlands.

577
00:33:19.120 --> 00:33:22.800
I'm sorry, ladies.

578
00:33:22.800 --> 00:33:24.080
I'm going to be right back.

579
00:33:24.080 --> 00:33:26.720
The same lady is having a hard time, so I'll be right back.

580
00:33:37.120 --> 00:33:38.120
I'm going to be right back.

581
00:33:38.120 --> 00:33:39.120
The same lady is having a hard time, so I'll be right back.

582
00:33:39.120 --> 00:33:39.120


583
00:34:07.320 --> 00:34:08.320
I'm going to be right back.

584
00:34:08.320 --> 00:34:09.320
The same lady is having a hard time, so I'll be right back.

585
00:34:09.320 --> 00:34:09.320


586
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.060
you

587
00:35:30.000 --> 00:35:32.060
you

588
00:36:00.000 --> 00:36:02.060
you

589
00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:32.060
you

590
00:36:32.060 --> 00:36:34.060
you

591
00:36:34.060 --> 00:36:36.060
you

592
00:36:36.060 --> 00:36:38.060
you

593
00:36:38.060 --> 00:36:40.060
you

594
00:36:40.060 --> 00:36:42.060
you

595
00:36:42.060 --> 00:36:44.060
you

596
00:36:44.060 --> 00:36:46.060
you

597
00:36:46.060 --> 00:36:48.060
Bethany you

598
00:36:48.060 --> 00:36:50.060
have muted

599
00:36:50.060 --> 00:36:52.060
you

600
00:36:52.060 --> 00:36:54.060
you

601
00:36:54.060 --> 00:36:56.060
you

602
00:36:56.060 --> 00:36:58.060
you

603
00:36:58.060 --> 00:37:00.060
you

604
00:37:00.060 --> 00:37:02.060
you

605
00:37:02.060 --> 00:37:04.060
you

606
00:37:04.060 --> 00:37:06.060
you

607
00:37:06.060 --> 00:37:08.060
you

608
00:37:08.060 --> 00:37:10.060
you

609
00:37:10.060 --> 00:37:12.060
you

610
00:37:12.060 --> 00:37:14.060
you

611
00:37:14.060 --> 00:37:16.060
you

612
00:37:16.060 --> 00:37:17.060
you

613
00:37:17.060 --> 00:37:19.060
you

614
00:37:19.060 --> 00:37:21.060
you

615
00:37:21.060 --> 00:37:23.060
you

616
00:37:23.060 --> 00:37:24.060
you

617
00:37:24.060 --> 00:37:26.060
you

618
00:37:26.060 --> 00:37:29.060
you

619
00:37:29.060 --> 00:37:31.060
you

620
00:37:31.060 --> 00:37:33.060
you

621
00:37:33.060 --> 00:37:35.060
you

622
00:37:35.060 --> 00:37:37.060
you

623
00:37:37.060 --> 00:37:39.060
you

624
00:37:39.060 --> 00:37:41.060
you

625
00:37:41.060 --> 00:37:43.060
you

626
00:37:43.060 --> 00:37:45.060
you

627
00:37:45.060 --> 00:37:47.060
you

628
00:37:47.060 --> 00:37:49.060
you

629
00:37:49.060 --> 00:37:51.060
you

630
00:37:51.060 --> 00:37:53.060
you

631
00:37:53.060 --> 00:37:55.060
you

632
00:37:55.060 --> 00:37:57.060
you

633
00:37:57.060 --> 00:37:59.060
you

634
00:37:59.060 --> 00:38:01.060
you

635
00:38:01.060 --> 00:38:03.060
you

636
00:38:03.060 --> 00:38:05.060
you

637
00:38:05.060 --> 00:38:07.060
you

638
00:38:07.060 --> 00:38:09.060
you

639
00:38:09.060 --> 00:38:11.060
you

640
00:38:11.060 --> 00:38:13.060
you

641
00:38:13.060 --> 00:38:15.060
you

642
00:38:15.060 --> 00:38:17.060
you

643
00:38:17.060 --> 00:38:19.060
you

644
00:38:19.060 --> 00:38:21.060
you

645
00:38:21.060 --> 00:38:23.060
you

646
00:38:23.060 --> 00:38:25.060
you

647
00:38:25.060 --> 00:38:27.060
you

648
00:38:27.060 --> 00:38:29.060
you

649
00:38:29.060 --> 00:38:31.060
you

650
00:38:31.060 --> 00:38:33.060
you

651
00:38:33.060 --> 00:38:35.060
you

652
00:38:35.060 --> 00:38:37.060
you

653
00:38:37.060 --> 00:38:39.060
you

654
00:38:39.060 --> 00:38:41.060
you

655
00:38:41.060 --> 00:38:43.060
you

656
00:38:43.060 --> 00:38:45.060
you

657
00:38:45.060 --> 00:38:47.060
you

658
00:38:47.060 --> 00:38:49.060
you

659
00:38:49.060 --> 00:38:51.060
you

660
00:38:51.060 --> 00:38:53.060
you

661
00:38:53.060 --> 00:38:55.060
you

662
00:38:55.060 --> 00:38:57.060
you

663
00:38:57.060 --> 00:38:59.060
you

664
00:38:59.060 --> 00:39:01.060
you

665
00:39:01.060 --> 00:39:03.060
you

666
00:39:03.060 --> 00:39:05.060
you

667
00:39:05.060 --> 00:39:07.060
you

668
00:39:07.060 --> 00:39:09.060
you

669
00:39:09.060 --> 00:39:11.060
you

670
00:39:11.060 --> 00:39:13.060
you

671
00:39:13.060 --> 00:39:15.060
you

672
00:39:15.060 --> 00:39:17.060
you

673
00:39:17.060 --> 00:39:19.060
you

674
00:39:19.060 --> 00:39:21.060
you

675
00:39:21.060 --> 00:39:23.060
you

676
00:39:23.060 --> 00:39:25.060
you

677
00:39:25.060 --> 00:39:27.060
you

678
00:39:27.060 --> 00:39:29.060
you

679
00:39:29.060 --> 00:39:31.060
you

680
00:39:31.060 --> 00:39:33.060
you

681
00:39:33.060 --> 00:39:35.060
you

682
00:39:35.060 --> 00:39:37.060
you

683
00:39:41.060 --> 00:39:42.060
you

684
00:39:42.060 --> 00:39:44.060
you

685
00:39:44.060 --> 00:39:46.060
you

686
00:39:46.060 --> 00:39:48.060
you

687
00:39:48.060 --> 00:39:50.060
you

688
00:39:50.060 --> 00:39:52.060
you

689
00:39:52.060 --> 00:39:54.060
you

690
00:39:54.060 --> 00:39:56.060
you

691
00:39:56.060 --> 00:39:58.060
you

692
00:39:58.060 --> 00:40:00.060
you

693
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.440
spirit. So if she's struggling to like, you know, wants to achieve something right away,

694
00:40:00.060 --> 00:40:02.060
you

695
00:40:05.440 --> 00:40:09.840
and if she doesn't achieve it right away, she's feeling that frustration or that anxiety with

696
00:40:09.840 --> 00:40:15.840
herself. So what I would encourage any of you, it's joy right now, to do is say, okay, Lord,

697
00:40:15.840 --> 00:40:22.960
like, what situation in my life happened that caused me to feel this lack of patience with

698
00:40:22.960 --> 00:40:28.640
myself? Okay, and see what the Lord would start to reveal. And sometimes it might take a little

699
00:40:28.640 --> 00:40:33.680
bit of time, other times it might come up right away. And sometimes you all it's not even the

700
00:40:33.680 --> 00:40:39.840
story that comes up, but you might have like a thought or an image come to your mind. And as

701
00:40:39.840 --> 00:40:45.600
you pray into that, you'll start to have other stuff kind of come together and you'll start to

702
00:40:45.600 --> 00:40:53.680
get clarity on what is this connecting to in my life. So joy, thank you for sharing. I pray that

703
00:40:53.680 --> 00:41:02.960
God would give you grace, fresh grace to have patience with yourself. And to see and understand

704
00:41:02.960 --> 00:41:07.680
the level of patience that God the Father and Jesus have with you in the Holy Spirit.

705
00:41:09.120 --> 00:41:15.840
He's a very patient and kind God you all yes, he does bring conviction and correction to for us,

706
00:41:15.840 --> 00:41:20.480
because he loves us, but he is a patient and kind God. And so we can lean into that

707
00:41:20.480 --> 00:41:25.840
and ask him for greater revelation on that. Because the more that we understand the patience

708
00:41:25.840 --> 00:41:31.120
of the Father, the more we should be able to have patience with ourselves,

709
00:41:31.680 --> 00:41:36.080
as we receive more of his love as well. So definitely pray into that a little bit more

710
00:41:36.080 --> 00:41:41.120
and see what else he might reveal to you through that. Thank you again for sharing. Maria, go ahead.

711
00:41:41.120 --> 00:41:56.400
Sorry, I couldn't. It was interesting that in my room, the three of us share something very

712
00:41:56.400 --> 00:42:03.840
similar. And it's just like the lie that we kind of express our needs and the needs of other people

713
00:42:03.840 --> 00:42:12.080
come before our own needs. So I was just sharing how in my own relationship with my mom, and I'm

714
00:42:12.080 --> 00:42:24.240
the oldest of three kids, and I am the only girl too. So my mom always had very high expectations

715
00:42:24.240 --> 00:42:31.360
of me. And even though Colombian children, we are very straightforward. That is not well seen

716
00:42:31.360 --> 00:42:38.720
when you do it against your parents. We don't have the right to express some kind of discomfort.

717
00:42:41.440 --> 00:42:46.080
It will be seen as talking back to your parents, and that's not correct. And I repeated the same

718
00:42:46.080 --> 00:42:56.000
pattern in my only last relationship. And when I started finally being vocal about my needs and

719
00:42:56.000 --> 00:43:00.560
everything, that's when my ex-boyfriend and I started having troubles. But at the same time,

720
00:43:00.560 --> 00:43:08.800
my mom too. So when I started expressing my emotions and what I needed, what I wanted,

721
00:43:08.800 --> 00:43:17.040
so my mom started taking things personally, and she just took it all as an attack.

722
00:43:17.760 --> 00:43:24.000
And it was so hard because, of course, we do care a lot about our parents and

723
00:43:24.000 --> 00:43:30.800
about what they think, but that just like fell into the lie that, you see, this is what happens

724
00:43:30.800 --> 00:43:36.320
when you express what you need. This is what happens when you disagree. Like you don't have

725
00:43:36.320 --> 00:43:44.800
even, I said that, even the right to disagree. And that leads me to sadness and just like

726
00:43:44.800 --> 00:43:53.040
isolation and yeah. Yeah. Okay. So typically in this kind of situation, thank you for sharing, Maria.

727
00:43:54.560 --> 00:44:00.080
We also tend to think the same thing with the Lord. Like this is what happens when I express

728
00:44:00.080 --> 00:44:05.840
my needs or my feelings to the Lord, even if we're subconsciously doing it. Because if we're trying

729
00:44:05.840 --> 00:44:12.880
to do that with other people and we never feel like they are willing really to hear what we're

730
00:44:12.880 --> 00:44:20.000
saying, but they, I know you mentioned she took it personally, like it turns it around instead of us

731
00:44:20.000 --> 00:44:26.160
just getting to express something, they are making it about themselves. That can be a very,

732
00:44:28.080 --> 00:44:33.280
and again, I know that, you know, people mean well sometimes, but without realizing it,

733
00:44:33.280 --> 00:44:41.200
sometimes that's how people will avoid having to change. You know, especially if someone's

734
00:44:41.200 --> 00:44:46.880
unhealthy, they may do other things. You know, in our day and age now, you know, a lot of people

735
00:44:46.880 --> 00:44:52.560
are talking about gaslighting and all this stuff. And I know that that is real. But here's the thing,

736
00:44:52.560 --> 00:44:58.240
ladies, we don't want to give that too much emphasis. Okay. The reality is, is people that

737
00:44:58.240 --> 00:44:59.920
are hurt do hurtful things.

738
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:06.320
It doesn't make it okay, but I also want to make sure that when those bigger things aren't

739
00:45:06.320 --> 00:45:09.760
happening that we're not thinking it's something there.

740
00:45:09.760 --> 00:45:16.480
But I am saying that, bringing that up because there are times when someone will try to set

741
00:45:16.480 --> 00:45:20.680
a healthy boundary or they will try to express their emotions.

742
00:45:20.680 --> 00:45:26.920
And in order to maintain control over that person, the other person, if they are unhealthy,

743
00:45:26.920 --> 00:45:33.560
will turn it around and sometimes they might step into some of that kind of unhealthier

744
00:45:33.560 --> 00:45:40.080
levels of, you know, the gaslighting, kind of trying to create confusion, causing that

745
00:45:40.080 --> 00:45:43.480
person to doubt themselves, all that kind of stuff, manipulation.

746
00:45:43.480 --> 00:45:46.280
And so just be aware ladies of that.

747
00:45:46.280 --> 00:45:52.120
Now I would never tell any of you to not have relationship with your family or your parents,

748
00:45:52.120 --> 00:46:00.880
but I do want you to consider when we allow unhealthy dynamics to continue, it's just

749
00:46:00.880 --> 00:46:04.960
not going to go away, okay?

750
00:46:04.960 --> 00:46:09.880
At some point, we have to choose to be healthy.

751
00:46:09.880 --> 00:46:17.920
And also if we feel the other person is healthy enough to have a conversation, say to them,

752
00:46:17.920 --> 00:46:25.960
Hey, when this happens, when you say this to me, I feel this way, okay?

753
00:46:25.960 --> 00:46:28.520
So you're owning your feelings.

754
00:46:28.520 --> 00:46:32.000
They're not making you anything, okay?

755
00:46:32.000 --> 00:46:37.200
But you're letting them know, Hey, when you do or say this, this is how I'm feeling when

756
00:46:37.200 --> 00:46:38.960
that's happening.

757
00:46:38.960 --> 00:46:47.000
If they're a safe person, they should say something like, I'm really sorry that I caused

758
00:46:47.000 --> 00:46:48.000
you to feel that way.

759
00:46:48.000 --> 00:46:49.760
I would never want you to feel that way.

760
00:46:49.760 --> 00:46:52.840
They're going to apologize, okay?

761
00:46:52.840 --> 00:46:57.680
If they are slightly, maybe they're trying to be healthy, but there may be a little bit

762
00:46:57.680 --> 00:47:01.720
not unhealthy, they might not right away apologize.

763
00:47:01.720 --> 00:47:05.760
They might be trying to figure out how to navigate that and they might have feelings

764
00:47:05.760 --> 00:47:09.860
where they're feeling rejected or all this stuff instead of just listening.

765
00:47:09.860 --> 00:47:15.000
But someone that's super unhealthy isn't even going to let you have your feelings and they're

766
00:47:15.000 --> 00:47:17.920
going to try to dominate and take control, okay?

767
00:47:17.920 --> 00:47:22.680
So I just want to kind of help you all see, and that was very like not the best explanation,

768
00:47:22.680 --> 00:47:27.920
but I just wanted you to see the different ways that some people are going to react.

769
00:47:27.920 --> 00:47:37.760
Like the bad is a reaction, respond is loving, you know, apologizing, asking for forgiveness,

770
00:47:37.760 --> 00:47:42.920
trying to be teachable and correcting our unhealthy behaviors.

771
00:47:42.920 --> 00:47:46.760
And we're not doing it hopefully short-term because hopefully we're having heart change

772
00:47:46.760 --> 00:47:49.080
on the inside that's causing a long-term change.

773
00:47:49.080 --> 00:47:51.040
Does that make sense, everyone?

774
00:47:51.040 --> 00:47:52.040
Okay.

775
00:47:52.040 --> 00:47:53.680
All right.

776
00:47:53.680 --> 00:48:04.320
So Maria, on yours, the other thing I wanted to say is the repeated pattern, I'm curious,

777
00:48:04.320 --> 00:48:06.140
what was the dynamic like with your dad?

778
00:48:06.140 --> 00:48:09.160
Was it similar as it was with your mom?

779
00:48:09.160 --> 00:48:15.240
No, it wasn't like that.

780
00:48:15.240 --> 00:48:24.960
My dad, I mean, they divorced when I was in my 20s and it was very painful for me because

781
00:48:24.960 --> 00:48:29.200
I was the one who discovered his affair.

782
00:48:29.200 --> 00:48:37.040
But growing up, I do remember he was a very loving dad, even my brothers would say that

783
00:48:37.040 --> 00:48:39.120
I was the apple of his eye.

784
00:48:39.120 --> 00:48:46.040
And he, yeah, I remember having actually a very, like, if I think of him, he was a good

785
00:48:46.040 --> 00:48:48.880
child of a father, though.

786
00:48:48.880 --> 00:48:54.760
You know, it was, even though he wasn't like fully like a hundred percent present because

787
00:48:54.760 --> 00:48:59.440
he was working all the time, but he was sweet with me.

788
00:48:59.440 --> 00:49:00.440
Okay.

789
00:49:00.440 --> 00:49:01.820
All right.

790
00:49:01.820 --> 00:49:07.700
So it does sound like maybe this stems from mom and the struggle to set boundaries and

791
00:49:07.700 --> 00:49:12.740
there might be some other stuff there, but I would encourage you to ask the Lord to reveal

792
00:49:12.740 --> 00:49:20.020
like when is the first time, Lord, when's the first time I, Maria, denied my own feelings

793
00:49:20.020 --> 00:49:23.780
and needs to meet the needs of someone else?

794
00:49:23.780 --> 00:49:28.060
Because you want to know when the first time was that you did that.

795
00:49:28.060 --> 00:49:29.060
Okay.

796
00:49:29.060 --> 00:49:34.220
So again, this might be where the Lord shows you one memory and then you process that,

797
00:49:34.220 --> 00:49:37.380
and then God might start to reveal other things to you as well.

798
00:49:37.380 --> 00:49:40.020
Does that make sense for everyone?

799
00:49:40.020 --> 00:49:43.180
So you just process as you go.

800
00:49:43.180 --> 00:49:44.180
Thank you so much for sharing.

801
00:49:44.180 --> 00:49:46.860
I feel like someone else had their hand up, but I don't know if you still want to go or

802
00:49:46.860 --> 00:49:49.100
if you've just changed your mind.

803
00:49:49.100 --> 00:49:52.420
Was there someone else that wanted to share?

804
00:49:52.420 --> 00:49:53.860
I did have my hand up.

805
00:49:53.860 --> 00:49:55.100
Okay, Anna, go ahead.

806
00:49:55.100 --> 00:49:58.980
And then Katie, I saw you, so we'll come to you next, okay?

807
00:49:58.980 --> 00:49:59.980
So...

808
00:49:59.980 --> 00:50:00.980
I...

809
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:02.360
I guess similar to what you were saying in the beginning

810
00:50:00.980 --> 00:50:01.980
Okay.

811
00:50:01.980 --> 00:50:01.980


812
00:50:02.360 --> 00:50:04.820
about God being your protector

813
00:50:04.820 --> 00:50:07.680
and if situations happen to you,

814
00:50:07.680 --> 00:50:10.160
how it, I guess those experiences

815
00:50:10.160 --> 00:50:11.840
are contrary to that thought, right?

816
00:50:11.840 --> 00:50:14.580
So God, you were supposed to protect me,

817
00:50:14.580 --> 00:50:16.720
but you didn't in this instance.

818
00:50:16.720 --> 00:50:19.800
And then on top of that, there's this,

819
00:50:19.800 --> 00:50:23.480
well, if he didn't protect me, I can't trust God.

820
00:50:23.480 --> 00:50:27.580
So that's something that I often struggle with.

821
00:50:27.580 --> 00:50:30.620
I mean, it can be combined,

822
00:50:30.620 --> 00:50:32.340
like those can be compounded thoughts

823
00:50:32.340 --> 00:50:35.340
or it can be, they can be separate thoughts.

824
00:50:35.340 --> 00:50:36.940
But I guess at the root of it,

825
00:50:36.940 --> 00:50:39.780
it is an issue in trusting God.

826
00:50:41.780 --> 00:50:44.300
Yeah, at the core, that's what it was for me.

827
00:50:44.300 --> 00:50:48.980
I had to go all the way back to my inability to trust him

828
00:50:48.980 --> 00:50:50.140
because of what happened.

829
00:50:50.140 --> 00:50:52.260
And that's where I had to really look at it

830
00:50:52.260 --> 00:50:54.140
very theologically, you know,

831
00:50:54.140 --> 00:50:57.220
and what I said to you all and understanding that,

832
00:50:57.860 --> 00:51:00.540
you know, God gives everybody free will

833
00:51:00.540 --> 00:51:04.740
and, you know, because he loves us.

834
00:51:04.740 --> 00:51:06.940
And unfortunately, some people do stuff

835
00:51:06.940 --> 00:51:08.820
with that free will that's not good.

836
00:51:10.520 --> 00:51:14.940
But in all of that, God uses, if we're willing,

837
00:51:14.940 --> 00:51:18.860
he works all of that pain together for purpose.

838
00:51:18.860 --> 00:51:22.800
It wasn't him that did that to us, okay?

839
00:51:22.800 --> 00:51:27.360
And, you know, I think the other thing that comes to mind,

840
00:51:27.360 --> 00:51:29.280
and I don't know if this will resonate for you,

841
00:51:29.280 --> 00:51:32.480
but one of the things for me was,

842
00:51:34.240 --> 00:51:35.160
what is it called?

843
00:51:35.160 --> 00:51:36.480
I gotta think of how to,

844
00:51:36.480 --> 00:51:39.720
when we are projecting emotions and feelings

845
00:51:39.720 --> 00:51:42.440
that we have towards a person

846
00:51:42.440 --> 00:51:43.940
and we're not putting it on them,

847
00:51:43.940 --> 00:51:46.560
even though the situation happened with them,

848
00:51:46.560 --> 00:51:50.320
we're projecting it onto someone else or something else.

849
00:51:50.320 --> 00:51:54.840
And a lot of times we might project onto God

850
00:51:54.840 --> 00:51:57.760
actually feelings that we have towards parents

851
00:51:57.760 --> 00:52:00.680
or other people that were supposed to protect us

852
00:52:00.680 --> 00:52:02.840
and didn't, you know,

853
00:52:02.840 --> 00:52:03.840
because we don't know who,

854
00:52:03.840 --> 00:52:06.400
like we have to live with them every day.

855
00:52:06.400 --> 00:52:10.480
And it's just too painful in that moment,

856
00:52:10.480 --> 00:52:14.240
at least for me, it was more painful for me to think,

857
00:52:14.240 --> 00:52:16.200
like even when my mom found out,

858
00:52:16.200 --> 00:52:17.860
when I told her when I was a teenager,

859
00:52:17.860 --> 00:52:19.860
she still didn't protect me.

860
00:52:20.600 --> 00:52:22.440
That was hard.

861
00:52:22.440 --> 00:52:25.520
And so in that framework,

862
00:52:25.520 --> 00:52:28.040
I sometimes it was easier for me

863
00:52:28.040 --> 00:52:29.880
to kind of just be mad at God.

864
00:52:31.360 --> 00:52:32.400
Does that make sense?

865
00:52:32.400 --> 00:52:33.240
Yes.

866
00:52:33.240 --> 00:52:34.080
Yeah.

867
00:52:35.920 --> 00:52:36.840
Let's see, what can you say?

868
00:52:36.840 --> 00:52:39.040
Did you say that in our prayer, we should ask God,

869
00:52:39.040 --> 00:52:41.600
when was the first time I felt hurt and have,

870
00:52:41.600 --> 00:52:43.600
yeah, I mean, you guys can ask God,

871
00:52:43.600 --> 00:52:46.000
when is the first time I felt, you know,

872
00:52:46.000 --> 00:52:50.720
believed this lie or like the example I was giving

873
00:52:50.720 --> 00:52:54.120
was Maria was saying met other people's needs

874
00:52:54.120 --> 00:52:56.000
before my own or yes,

875
00:52:56.000 --> 00:52:58.280
when is the first time I believed this lie

876
00:52:58.280 --> 00:53:00.320
or had this negative emotion

877
00:53:00.320 --> 00:53:02.720
and Lord, what was it connected to?

878
00:53:02.720 --> 00:53:04.680
But I didn't mean to jump away from Anna,

879
00:53:04.680 --> 00:53:05.500
but I just wanna,

880
00:53:05.500 --> 00:53:07.220
I didn't know if that was about what we were talking about.

881
00:53:07.220 --> 00:53:10.600
So Anna, thank you for sharing about that.

882
00:53:10.600 --> 00:53:12.920
I wanna encourage you just to pray into that

883
00:53:12.920 --> 00:53:14.200
a little bit more.

884
00:53:14.200 --> 00:53:19.000
And while we, it sounds like you probably know

885
00:53:19.000 --> 00:53:23.640
where that struggle with trust has come out of,

886
00:53:23.640 --> 00:53:26.160
I still wanna encourage you to pray and ask the Lord,

887
00:53:26.160 --> 00:53:29.780
like, when is the first time I did not trust you, Lord?

888
00:53:31.000 --> 00:53:31.840
Okay.

889
00:53:31.840 --> 00:53:34.240
And start there because I think the trust

890
00:53:34.240 --> 00:53:38.280
is really the root underneath of some other things

891
00:53:38.280 --> 00:53:40.240
and see what he reveals to you.

892
00:53:40.240 --> 00:53:42.980
And ladies, anytime, if we're doing coaching

893
00:53:42.980 --> 00:53:45.140
or even if you're not someone that shares openly

894
00:53:45.140 --> 00:53:47.580
in the group and you need a little bit more help

895
00:53:47.580 --> 00:53:49.940
unpacking some things that God is revealing to you,

896
00:53:49.940 --> 00:53:51.500
you can always post in the group.

897
00:53:51.500 --> 00:53:53.580
Y'all, that's what we're there for.

898
00:53:53.580 --> 00:53:56.200
And this group and this time,

899
00:53:56.200 --> 00:53:58.860
this is the best time to ask these questions.

900
00:53:58.860 --> 00:54:00.540
I mean, you can always ask them later on

901
00:54:00.540 --> 00:54:03.580
as you go through the course, but hey, do it now

902
00:54:03.580 --> 00:54:05.260
because we want you to get as much breakthrough

903
00:54:05.260 --> 00:54:07.060
as you can get while you're here.

904
00:54:07.060 --> 00:54:09.900
But we'll be praying for you about that, Anna,

905
00:54:09.900 --> 00:54:12.460
and really asking God to comfort you

906
00:54:12.460 --> 00:54:14.440
in those areas as well.

907
00:54:15.380 --> 00:54:16.980
Okay, Katie, go ahead.

908
00:54:19.300 --> 00:54:23.300
I had just said, I didn't have a horrible childhood.

909
00:54:23.300 --> 00:54:25.200
I had some alcoholic parents,

910
00:54:25.200 --> 00:54:27.960
but I did have a sister that was kind of rough.

911
00:54:27.960 --> 00:54:31.900
And in that, my parents often ignored me

912
00:54:31.900 --> 00:54:34.020
and kind of went with, dealt with her.

913
00:54:34.020 --> 00:54:36.860
And so it just always made me feel unworthy,

914
00:54:36.860 --> 00:54:39.220
unlovable, unimportant.

915
00:54:39.220 --> 00:54:41.940
And then as I grew up, I chose relationships

916
00:54:41.940 --> 00:54:45.860
where I was that same unworthy, unimportant person.

917
00:54:47.580 --> 00:54:51.540
And I would repeatedly kind of go back to relationships

918
00:54:52.820 --> 00:54:53.980
where I felt those ways,

919
00:54:53.980 --> 00:54:55.980
because it was some sort of a comfort, I guess,

920
00:54:55.980 --> 00:54:57.060
because that's how I grew up.

921
00:54:57.060 --> 00:55:00.500
But it was just, it's just been a very...

922
00:55:00.960 --> 00:55:08.320
difficult path, trying to find my worth in God and not in other people, and then choosing people

923
00:55:08.320 --> 00:55:16.080
who find worth, I guess, in me, not necessarily who need something out of me, but that I can

924
00:55:16.080 --> 00:55:22.560
pour into too, like it's a back and forth relationship. Yes, 100%. And so one of the

925
00:55:22.560 --> 00:55:26.960
questions I do have for you, Kadeena, it doesn't mean that I, when I ask you this question, I

926
00:55:26.960 --> 00:55:31.280
believe you that you had a good childhood, but you mentioned you had parents that struggled

927
00:55:31.280 --> 00:55:38.240
with alcoholism, correct? Did I hear you correctly? Yes. Okay. So what did that look like for you

928
00:55:38.240 --> 00:55:44.320
growing up? Like- Dad would disappear for days and we weren't allowed to talk about it. Like,

929
00:55:44.320 --> 00:55:48.320
it was not allowed. My dad passed away about a year ago. My parents divorced when I was a

930
00:55:48.320 --> 00:55:54.000
teenager, but my mom still to this day will say, well, you know, we weren't allowed to talk about

931
00:55:54.000 --> 00:55:59.520
it. And I have finally recently been like, but you could have, you could have talked to us about

932
00:55:59.520 --> 00:56:04.640
it. It was, I have a sister that's just a couple of years older than me. And then my oldest sister

933
00:56:04.640 --> 00:56:08.560
wasn't in the house, but I said, you could have absolutely been like, Hey, I know this is

934
00:56:08.560 --> 00:56:14.080
uncomfortable. I know that, you know, dad disappears, whatever, but you chose not to. And so

935
00:56:16.080 --> 00:56:21.760
they were there, but not emotionally there. Mom always blamed a lot of stuff on dad,

936
00:56:21.760 --> 00:56:26.640
didn't really take responsibility for herself and her actions in it, but she was also just

937
00:56:26.640 --> 00:56:31.600
trying to survive. So I'm not trying to make excuses for her. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Yeah. It's

938
00:56:31.600 --> 00:56:36.560
okay. Dealing with my mom, my dad was kind of trying to survive too. Like I didn't see her

939
00:56:36.560 --> 00:56:44.240
that way till recently, but yeah. And just so you all know, I try to remind you anytime I ask you

940
00:56:44.240 --> 00:56:51.200
all questions, um, in anytime I've ever done heartwork, it is okay for you all to say what

941
00:56:51.200 --> 00:56:56.400
really happened in your homes. Okay. Just know you're even with my parents, they're both deceased.

942
00:56:56.400 --> 00:57:02.480
I'm not doing, I'm not trying to do dishonor to either one of them, but my story can help people.

943
00:57:03.120 --> 00:57:09.920
And so, um, it is real what I went through, right. And I felt things because my dad was an alcoholic

944
00:57:09.920 --> 00:57:15.600
and, um, you know, would come home drunk and I had very little memories and he was gone a lot.

945
00:57:16.320 --> 00:57:23.040
Um, and so I had a lot of abandonment as a child. Um, and again, Katie, I'm not saying this is the

946
00:57:23.040 --> 00:57:29.200
same for you, but the reason I asked you the question I did is because even if we have

947
00:57:29.200 --> 00:57:36.320
parents that are there, if they are struggling with an addiction of some kind, um, whether we

948
00:57:36.320 --> 00:57:44.320
realize it or not, as children, we are thinking things as that's all happening when dad left for

949
00:57:44.320 --> 00:57:48.960
multiple days and you all weren't allowed to talk about it. There's things that you were experiencing

950
00:57:48.960 --> 00:57:56.240
as a child and thinking and feeling that are important for you to know. Okay. And so, um,

951
00:57:56.240 --> 00:58:01.920
if you've never prayed into that, I want to encourage you to pray into that. It might be hard

952
00:58:01.920 --> 00:58:07.360
and it would be hard in general, but especially since your dad passed away a year ago. And, and,

953
00:58:07.360 --> 00:58:14.480
and so, um, I just want to encourage you that if you feel that like, Oh, is this okay? Like,

954
00:58:14.480 --> 00:58:20.400
I don't want to disrespect my dad. You're not, you're loving yourself really well by processing

955
00:58:20.400 --> 00:58:25.760
anything that might have caused you pain as a child. Okay. So I want all of you all to think

956
00:58:25.760 --> 00:58:31.840
through and look at it through that lens. Like I'm, I'm just choosing to love myself enough

957
00:58:32.640 --> 00:58:37.600
to look at things that were hard for me or that I felt sad about, or what I'm not trying to tell

958
00:58:37.600 --> 00:58:42.640
you all how you felt, but like whatever your feelings were when those things happened,

959
00:58:43.200 --> 00:58:46.800
you know, and then you mentioned your sister, you know, and those tough things. And,

960
00:58:46.800 --> 00:58:50.800
and so I want to encourage you to ask yourself regarding your sister, cause it seems like maybe,

961
00:58:51.520 --> 00:58:56.720
um, I think the unimportant probably came before the stuff with your sister,

962
00:58:57.920 --> 00:59:03.040
but, um, I want you to pray into that. Okay. I think the seeds were sown when you were younger.

963
00:59:04.560 --> 00:59:11.840
Um, but pray into that regarding your sister and just ask the Lord to reveal the first time,

964
00:59:11.840 --> 00:59:18.640
you know, you felt unimportant or unseen, unworthy of attention or time or whatever that dynamic was.

965
00:59:19.200 --> 00:59:24.560
Um, and as he reveals that situation, you know, really ask him to come in and help,

966
00:59:24.560 --> 00:59:31.760
you know, you forgive your sister, you know? Yeah. I feel that in the spirit that you would

967
00:59:31.760 --> 00:59:37.440
forgive her for being bad. I don't know if you ever, if that's something you used to think a lot,

968
00:59:37.440 --> 00:59:42.320
or if your parents used to say that a lot, I don't use bad and good very often. I typically say

969
00:59:42.320 --> 00:59:49.840
healthy, unhealthy. Um, but a lot of other people will say they're bad. They're a bad person. Now,

970
00:59:49.840 --> 00:59:55.520
I do think that people are corrupted with evil. Okay. And they make unhealthy choices, but

971
00:59:56.640 --> 00:59:59.600
that's where sin comes in. Right. Um, but

972
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.480
we need to remember that just like Jesus Christ forgave us,

973
01:00:04.480 --> 01:00:08.080
we also are commanded to forgive.

974
01:00:08.080 --> 01:00:11.160
And if we don't forgive and we harbor bitterness

975
01:00:11.160 --> 01:00:14.040
or resentment, ladies, it can wreak havoc in our soul

976
01:00:14.040 --> 01:00:15.480
and our spirit and hold us back

977
01:00:15.480 --> 01:00:18.160
in ways we don't even realize.

978
01:00:18.160 --> 01:00:22.580
And so I believe that as you heal from some of those things,

979
01:00:22.580 --> 01:00:24.300
I think you're gonna show up in the world

980
01:00:24.300 --> 01:00:25.760
a whole different way,

981
01:00:25.760 --> 01:00:28.040
including relationships with friends

982
01:00:28.040 --> 01:00:31.480
and romantic people and all the things.

983
01:00:31.480 --> 01:00:34.160
But yeah, is there something else?

984
01:00:34.160 --> 01:00:37.160
Is there anything coming up as I'm sharing

985
01:00:37.160 --> 01:00:38.520
that you feel led to share?

986
01:00:40.320 --> 01:00:41.160
Abandonment.

987
01:00:41.160 --> 01:00:45.240
I mean, I don't forgive my sister

988
01:00:45.240 --> 01:00:47.720
because it wasn't just stuff that happened during childhood.

989
01:00:47.720 --> 01:00:50.040
It was as it got old, as we got older too.

990
01:00:50.040 --> 01:00:53.280
And I've had to pull away from her in the last year,

991
01:00:53.280 --> 01:00:57.480
especially just the very unhealthy attacks

992
01:00:57.480 --> 01:00:58.320
and stuff that happened.

993
01:00:58.320 --> 01:01:01.520
Like I'm almost 40 years old, she's older than I am.

994
01:01:01.520 --> 01:01:03.920
We're not, we shouldn't be attacking each other.

995
01:01:05.360 --> 01:01:07.200
But yeah, like you're right.

996
01:01:07.200 --> 01:01:12.000
I mean, dad not being there, I was dad's favorite by far.

997
01:01:12.000 --> 01:01:14.440
And so for him not to be there and not to know where he was

998
01:01:14.440 --> 01:01:16.920
and it was very unhealthy, my dynamic with him.

999
01:01:16.920 --> 01:01:19.560
Like I remember as a child calling around

1000
01:01:19.560 --> 01:01:21.200
to different bars trying to find him

1001
01:01:21.200 --> 01:01:23.760
and I could figure out who was lying

1002
01:01:23.760 --> 01:01:25.240
and I would know which bar he was at.

1003
01:01:25.240 --> 01:01:26.680
And I would ride my bike to the bar

1004
01:01:26.680 --> 01:01:28.240
and put my bike in the back of his car

1005
01:01:28.240 --> 01:01:31.680
and I would drive him home at not old enough to be driving.

1006
01:01:33.360 --> 01:01:35.960
And as I got older, I kind of was that caretaker

1007
01:01:35.960 --> 01:01:37.680
more so than I should have been.

1008
01:01:37.680 --> 01:01:42.680
And so it's very hurtful to think that I had done so much

1009
01:01:43.440 --> 01:01:44.600
that was not my job.

1010
01:01:44.600 --> 01:01:47.400
And my mom allowed me to do those things.

1011
01:01:47.400 --> 01:01:49.240
Like she should have stopped me.

1012
01:01:49.240 --> 01:01:53.360
So there was a lack of protection from both parents.

1013
01:01:53.360 --> 01:01:55.120
Yeah, yeah.

1014
01:01:55.120 --> 01:01:57.000
And I really appreciate your transparency

1015
01:01:57.000 --> 01:01:59.320
because some of the other things here, ladies,

1016
01:01:59.320 --> 01:02:00.920
and when I say this,

1017
01:02:00.920 --> 01:02:04.000
I don't think anything negative about your parents.

1018
01:02:04.000 --> 01:02:07.000
People that are broken do broken things, okay?

1019
01:02:08.440 --> 01:02:10.320
But I think it's important to pull out

1020
01:02:10.320 --> 01:02:13.720
the word neglect here as well, okay?

1021
01:02:13.720 --> 01:02:16.440
Because when we experience neglect

1022
01:02:16.440 --> 01:02:19.520
when we're children and abandonment, those are deep.

1023
01:02:19.520 --> 01:02:21.280
They're pretty deep in there.

1024
01:02:21.280 --> 01:02:24.800
And in our psyche, if you will.

1025
01:02:24.800 --> 01:02:29.000
And so I believe the Lord led you to share tonight

1026
01:02:29.000 --> 01:02:31.800
to help you kind of understand

1027
01:02:31.800 --> 01:02:35.200
that it's really important for you to heal

1028
01:02:35.200 --> 01:02:37.800
and let God love you in those abandonment areas,

1029
01:02:37.800 --> 01:02:42.800
the neglect, and really show you his heart for you

1030
01:02:42.880 --> 01:02:46.360
in those nights that you were trying to find your dad.

1031
01:02:46.360 --> 01:02:48.960
I think there's a lot that God's wanting to heal there.

1032
01:02:48.960 --> 01:02:50.240
I just keep feeling the Holy Spirit

1033
01:02:50.240 --> 01:02:51.840
as I'm talking to you about it.

1034
01:02:51.840 --> 01:02:54.800
And then regarding your sister, don't feel like when,

1035
01:02:54.800 --> 01:02:57.120
ladies, and I hope everybody knows this,

1036
01:02:57.120 --> 01:02:59.280
when we choose to forgive people,

1037
01:02:59.280 --> 01:03:00.640
if they're very unhealthy,

1038
01:03:00.640 --> 01:03:03.320
that does not mean we have to give them access

1039
01:03:03.320 --> 01:03:06.080
back to our lives, okay?

1040
01:03:06.080 --> 01:03:10.720
I loved my dad, but my dad was a very unhealthy person.

1041
01:03:10.720 --> 01:03:13.880
And so I just could not interact with him.

1042
01:03:13.880 --> 01:03:15.760
Every time it turned into an argument,

1043
01:03:15.760 --> 01:03:17.440
there was just a lot of stuff.

1044
01:03:17.440 --> 01:03:19.880
And so there was just decisions I had to make

1045
01:03:20.520 --> 01:03:24.600
for my own health and to move my life forward.

1046
01:03:24.600 --> 01:03:27.640
And so I want y'all to know,

1047
01:03:27.640 --> 01:03:30.960
I'm not saying you have to have a close interaction

1048
01:03:30.960 --> 01:03:35.200
with these people unless God is leading you to, okay?

1049
01:03:35.200 --> 01:03:38.120
Because sometimes he might lead you to do that.

1050
01:03:38.120 --> 01:03:39.440
Sometimes it's unavoidable

1051
01:03:39.440 --> 01:03:42.120
because some of you are taking care of elderly parents

1052
01:03:42.120 --> 01:03:44.180
and things like that.

1053
01:03:44.180 --> 01:03:49.180
But what I am saying is that forgiveness is key, okay?

1054
01:03:49.380 --> 01:03:52.460
For your freedom as well as theirs.

1055
01:03:52.460 --> 01:03:54.380
Because when we don't forgive,

1056
01:03:55.380 --> 01:03:58.060
we actually are binding ourselves to those people

1057
01:03:58.060 --> 01:04:00.740
and to those situations, okay?

1058
01:04:00.740 --> 01:04:01.700
And we'll talk, like I said,

1059
01:04:01.700 --> 01:04:03.660
we'll talk about that more in our forgiveness week,

1060
01:04:03.660 --> 01:04:06.500
but I did feel like that was coming up a little bit in that.

1061
01:04:06.500 --> 01:04:08.700
So I wanna just plant those seeds

1062
01:04:08.700 --> 01:04:10.940
so y'all can pray into them.

1063
01:04:10.940 --> 01:04:14.620
And the last thing I'll say is,

1064
01:04:15.620 --> 01:04:17.420
I think Katie, the way you said it

1065
01:04:17.420 --> 01:04:20.860
is I can't forgive my sister.

1066
01:04:20.860 --> 01:04:23.700
And so I wanna encourage you to come out of agreement

1067
01:04:23.700 --> 01:04:27.140
with that lie, because you can forgive.

1068
01:04:27.140 --> 01:04:30.680
Because I believe that you are a kind and forgiving person,

1069
01:04:32.940 --> 01:04:35.460
that walks in the fruits of the spirit.

1070
01:04:35.460 --> 01:04:37.800
And I think that's what led you here.

1071
01:04:38.800 --> 01:04:42.620
But you're just struggling right now to forgive,

1072
01:04:42.620 --> 01:04:44.160
to choose, okay?

1073
01:04:45.060 --> 01:04:48.660
Because when we say we can't do something, ladies,

1074
01:04:48.660 --> 01:04:52.480
we're actually like saying we don't have power.

1075
01:04:54.460 --> 01:04:56.100
We don't have the ability.

1076
01:04:56.100 --> 01:04:58.620
But God says he gives us the power,

1077
01:04:58.620 --> 01:05:00.260
he gave us the Holy Spirit.

1078
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:07.340
Spirit to empower us. So even if I feel like I can't because it hurts so bad what they

1079
01:05:07.340 --> 01:05:14.360
did or said, the Holy Spirit empowers me to do so. And I can rely on Him and believe and

1080
01:05:14.360 --> 01:05:19.340
trust that when I forgive that He's going to show up and He's going to work in my life

1081
01:05:19.340 --> 01:05:24.740
as well as theirs in ways I can't even comprehend. Now, maybe it's not an overnight turnaround

1082
01:05:24.740 --> 01:05:29.820
in that situation of those people. And maybe I can't come back close to them, but praise

1083
01:05:29.820 --> 01:05:36.300
the Lord He'll work in that and do things which I can't even comprehend sometimes. Right?

1084
01:05:36.300 --> 01:05:41.060
So we just have to be really careful that we don't partner with can't, won't, you know,

1085
01:05:41.060 --> 01:05:46.180
those kind of statements. The enemy loves to get us there in those places, because then

1086
01:05:46.180 --> 01:05:51.260
then guess what, we get stuck. And he wants us to be stuck. He doesn't want you to move

1087
01:05:51.260 --> 01:05:56.180
forward. So all right. All right, everybody kind of shake it off. I know that can get

1088
01:05:56.180 --> 01:06:01.780
kind of heavy. Seriously, I don't know about you all, but sometimes you just gotta, you

1089
01:06:01.780 --> 01:06:05.660
just gotta move because we're doing some deep work tonight. This is tough stuff we're talking

1090
01:06:05.660 --> 01:06:13.020
about and leaning into. I'm going to start talking about the heart is a womb. W-O-M-B.

1091
01:06:13.020 --> 01:06:18.600
So just like a baby grows in a womb, everything that you're putting into your body is impacting

1092
01:06:18.600 --> 01:06:23.940
that baby as it's growing in the womb. The same thing is like if you can imagine that's

1093
01:06:23.980 --> 01:06:28.180
what our heart is like. Our heart is also like, you know, a garden. If you're wanting

1094
01:06:28.180 --> 01:06:33.020
to plant something and you want that stuff to grow, well, you typically, I was telling

1095
01:06:33.020 --> 01:06:36.060
everybody I bought these seeds. I want to plant these wildflowers because I want to

1096
01:06:36.060 --> 01:06:40.700
attract butterflies to my, my house. I want them all over you. I love butterflies. And

1097
01:06:40.700 --> 01:06:45.540
so I was looking at the packet of seeds over the weekend. And, uh, you know, there's a

1098
01:06:45.540 --> 01:06:49.380
part of me that just doesn't want to do any work. And I just want to go scatter the seeds

1099
01:06:49.380 --> 01:06:54.620
and it, I'd probably get a couple that would pop up. I probably would, but I really want

1100
01:06:54.620 --> 01:06:58.780
them to, to be good. And so I was reading and it says, you know, you got to till the

1101
01:06:58.780 --> 01:07:04.500
ground, you got to prepare the soil. And then once the soil is prepared, then you sow the

1102
01:07:04.500 --> 01:07:09.180
seed and then you add more good soil on top and then you water and all the things. The

1103
01:07:09.180 --> 01:07:16.580
reason I'm mentioning that is because the soil matters. Okay. The soil in your heart

1104
01:07:17.100 --> 01:07:22.060
matters. Everything that you allow to go into your heart, everything in your mind and heart,

1105
01:07:22.300 --> 01:07:27.220
the soul, all of that, whatever goes in is going to get reproduced. It's going to come

1106
01:07:27.220 --> 01:07:32.220
out at some point when you all are going through hard situations, a lot of pressure,

1107
01:07:32.220 --> 01:07:36.180
guess what? When that pressure is applied, if you've got rage and anger and all this

1108
01:07:36.180 --> 01:07:41.460
stuff coming out, well, guess what? That's in there. It's inside. So we got to look at

1109
01:07:41.460 --> 01:07:47.940
that. Why am I angry? Why am I getting so mad so fast? Why am I losing my temper or

1110
01:07:47.940 --> 01:07:53.300
whatever? Maybe it's other things. Maybe it's like internal tantrums. You know,

1111
01:07:53.300 --> 01:07:58.020
someone's just trying to have a conversation with you and you're just like triggered and

1112
01:07:58.020 --> 01:08:04.900
you like leave and jet out of the room. Well, why? We need to pause and look at that.

1113
01:08:04.900 --> 01:08:10.300
Like, why are we running from a situation? What's triggering us? What's causing us to

1114
01:08:10.300 --> 01:08:15.380
be in that place? Okay. So I want you to think about what are you currently planting

1115
01:08:15.380 --> 01:08:20.060
into your hearts in this season right now? What, what are you like? What are some things

1116
01:08:20.060 --> 01:08:24.660
that you're allowing to be planted in your heart? What are you listening to? You know,

1117
01:08:24.660 --> 01:08:32.180
on TV, on the news, um, like shows that you're watching people that you're listening to

1118
01:08:32.180 --> 01:08:37.500
friends that you're around, you know, all of this stuff, maybe even sometimes family

1119
01:08:37.500 --> 01:08:44.859
y'all here's truth. Sometimes our family, they say some stuff that, man, we're just

1120
01:08:44.859 --> 01:08:51.220
like, okay. Yeah. And we agree with it until one day God shows us like, Hey, wait, no.

1121
01:08:51.220 --> 01:08:56.020
Like that's not healthy. The way they're, they're thinking about men or talking about

1122
01:08:56.020 --> 01:09:03.899
men or talking about money. Like I have more for you. And then he's disrupting in a good

1123
01:09:03.899 --> 01:09:09.460
way. What we've heard our whole lives. And then all of a sudden it's like, Oh, well,

1124
01:09:09.460 --> 01:09:14.979
I didn't know. I didn't know there was a different way to look at this or think about this. And

1125
01:09:14.979 --> 01:09:20.580
what do you mean? All men don't cheat. Even though we know we see some men that don't

1126
01:09:20.580 --> 01:09:25.939
cheat, but deep down in our subconscious, because mom or dad went through an affair

1127
01:09:25.939 --> 01:09:30.620
and then maybe we even experienced someone cheating on us or something or a friend or

1128
01:09:30.620 --> 01:09:34.700
something. Then we're like, wait a minute, all men are cheaters. And then we start to

1129
01:09:34.700 --> 01:09:41.300
partner with that lie and it's not truth, right? So we're allowing that kind of stuff

1130
01:09:41.300 --> 01:09:46.060
to get planted in our hearts. And again, it's not something we're doing intentionally ladies.

1131
01:09:46.060 --> 01:09:51.100
It's happening because we have brokenness in our own soul that needs healed. That's

1132
01:09:51.100 --> 01:09:58.060
causing us to partner with stuff. That's not true. Okay. So we want to think about what

1133
01:09:58.060 --> 01:10:00.300
we're planning in our hearts. We want to think about

1134
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:02.320
The type of fruit that we're producing,

1135
01:10:02.320 --> 01:10:06.840
are you producing joy, kindness, goodness,

1136
01:10:06.840 --> 01:10:10.600
peace, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, love?

1137
01:10:10.600 --> 01:10:14.160
Are you producing those fruits?

1138
01:10:14.160 --> 01:10:15.680
Or is the fruit of your life

1139
01:10:15.680 --> 01:10:18.480
telling a different story right now?

1140
01:10:18.480 --> 01:10:19.800
Maybe it is addiction.

1141
01:10:19.800 --> 01:10:21.220
Maybe it is anger.

1142
01:10:22.240 --> 01:10:26.040
Maybe it is hatred towards yourself for others.

1143
01:10:26.040 --> 01:10:28.280
Even if you never voice it, you feel it.

1144
01:10:28.280 --> 01:10:29.500
You think it.

1145
01:10:29.500 --> 01:10:31.900
Maybe it is gossip and slander,

1146
01:10:31.900 --> 01:10:35.060
putting other people down to make yourself feel better.

1147
01:10:35.060 --> 01:10:37.340
I don't know what your dynamics are,

1148
01:10:37.340 --> 01:10:40.820
but we wanna look at what are we producing

1149
01:10:40.820 --> 01:10:44.620
out of our soul, out of our lives, out of our body.

1150
01:10:46.060 --> 01:10:48.940
Out of the heart, the mouth speaks.

1151
01:10:48.940 --> 01:10:53.940
So some of you don't say it, but you think it.

1152
01:10:54.260 --> 01:10:56.820
And some of you are saying a lot of negative things

1153
01:10:56.820 --> 01:10:59.380
because you've partnered with negative things

1154
01:10:59.420 --> 01:11:01.540
and mindsets for a really long time.

1155
01:11:02.820 --> 01:11:05.300
And so we wanna continue to come out of alignment

1156
01:11:05.300 --> 01:11:06.400
with all of those things.

1157
01:11:06.400 --> 01:11:08.780
Okay, I'm gonna go into something real quick in the book,

1158
01:11:08.780 --> 01:11:10.180
in the heart work book.

1159
01:11:10.180 --> 01:11:11.260
Again, if y'all ever hear me,

1160
01:11:11.260 --> 01:11:12.640
if I forget to say the heart work book,

1161
01:11:12.640 --> 01:11:13.480
I'm always gonna,

1162
01:11:13.480 --> 01:11:16.020
it's always from the heart work book when I read.

1163
01:11:16.020 --> 01:11:18.940
Okay, I'm gonna talk about the word good for a minute.

1164
01:11:18.940 --> 01:11:21.340
And this is in the heart work book.

1165
01:11:21.340 --> 01:11:22.740
The word good is a funny word

1166
01:11:22.740 --> 01:11:26.180
because its meaning to most people is relative.

1167
01:11:26.180 --> 01:11:29.260
What I believe is good may not be what you believe is good

1168
01:11:30.100 --> 01:11:31.540
based on our different preferences and experience.

1169
01:11:31.540 --> 01:11:33.500
For instance, I recently saw a documentary

1170
01:11:33.500 --> 01:11:36.380
about women in Africa who made cookies out of the dirt.

1171
01:11:36.380 --> 01:11:38.940
The main ingredient in these cookies is clay.

1172
01:11:38.940 --> 01:11:41.180
And they look a lot like

1173
01:11:41.180 --> 01:11:44.540
and have the texture of dried mud or pottery.

1174
01:11:44.540 --> 01:11:46.920
People come from all over to buy these cookies

1175
01:11:46.920 --> 01:11:49.500
because food is scarce and they are filling.

1176
01:11:49.500 --> 01:11:51.140
While I was watching it, I was thinking,

1177
01:11:51.140 --> 01:11:54.060
these people are literally eating dirt.

1178
01:11:54.060 --> 01:11:58.220
I thought about how they would probably love a happy meal

1179
01:11:58.220 --> 01:11:59.980
from McDonald's and a Coke.

1180
01:11:59.980 --> 01:12:01.540
But other people, myself included,

1181
01:12:01.540 --> 01:12:03.740
think McDonald's is junk food.

1182
01:12:03.740 --> 01:12:05.580
I love a restaurant called Brio

1183
01:12:05.580 --> 01:12:06.660
and I think it's fancy food,

1184
01:12:06.660 --> 01:12:08.660
but someone else who's used to living the high life

1185
01:12:08.660 --> 01:12:11.740
might think what I love is on the same level

1186
01:12:11.740 --> 01:12:13.540
as a dirt cookie.

1187
01:12:13.540 --> 01:12:15.220
Okay, jumping down.

1188
01:12:15.220 --> 01:12:17.460
When God uses the word good,

1189
01:12:17.460 --> 01:12:21.060
he isn't talking about our human standard of good.

1190
01:12:21.060 --> 01:12:23.860
He is referring to his standard of good.

1191
01:12:23.860 --> 01:12:25.980
So maybe you do have a little something

1192
01:12:25.980 --> 01:12:27.140
working out right now,

1193
01:12:27.140 --> 01:12:31.060
but is it God's version of good yet in your life?

1194
01:12:31.060 --> 01:12:33.600
Probably not, and that's why we are here.

1195
01:12:33.600 --> 01:12:34.740
We want more.

1196
01:12:34.740 --> 01:12:37.940
Most of us have a tendency to live in crisis mode,

1197
01:12:37.940 --> 01:12:41.900
only focusing on the areas that are a complete train wreck

1198
01:12:41.900 --> 01:12:45.720
and not realizing there's an upgrade available

1199
01:12:45.720 --> 01:12:47.540
in every area of our life

1200
01:12:47.540 --> 01:12:52.420
if we are willing to be shown what we cannot see yet.

1201
01:12:52.420 --> 01:12:53.740
Do you want an upgrade?

1202
01:12:53.740 --> 01:12:58.740
You have to be willing to see what you don't see yet.

1203
01:13:00.100 --> 01:13:02.020
So one of the things that's really important,

1204
01:13:02.020 --> 01:13:04.780
and I think I mentioned it a little bit earlier

1205
01:13:04.780 --> 01:13:05.620
in our session,

1206
01:13:05.620 --> 01:13:07.600
or I mentioned it this afternoon in the session,

1207
01:13:07.600 --> 01:13:08.740
I can't remember,

1208
01:13:08.740 --> 01:13:10.140
but we have to really be willing

1209
01:13:10.140 --> 01:13:11.640
to own our side of the street.

1210
01:13:12.600 --> 01:13:16.700
So after I got divorced,

1211
01:13:16.700 --> 01:13:20.460
I got into a relationship with my spiritual daughter's dad.

1212
01:13:20.460 --> 01:13:22.520
I was with him for six years,

1213
01:13:22.520 --> 01:13:26.480
and the reality is that relationship was really bad.

1214
01:13:26.480 --> 01:13:28.960
It was the worst relationship I had been in

1215
01:13:28.960 --> 01:13:30.360
out of all of them,

1216
01:13:30.360 --> 01:13:33.320
and a lot of betrayal, a lot of cheating,

1217
01:13:33.320 --> 01:13:34.520
and a lot of things happening,

1218
01:13:34.520 --> 01:13:36.720
a lot of struggles.

1219
01:13:36.720 --> 01:13:37.560
He struggles.

1220
01:13:37.560 --> 01:13:39.960
He still struggles with narcissistic tendencies

1221
01:13:39.960 --> 01:13:42.960
and sociopathic behaviors.

1222
01:13:42.960 --> 01:13:45.360
Y'all, I don't call him.

1223
01:13:45.360 --> 01:13:48.280
I don't say anymore, they're a narcissist,

1224
01:13:48.280 --> 01:13:50.240
they're a this, a that.

1225
01:13:50.240 --> 01:13:51.080
You know why?

1226
01:13:51.080 --> 01:13:52.280
Because I learned from Jackie,

1227
01:13:52.280 --> 01:13:53.540
and it's super important.

1228
01:13:54.640 --> 01:13:56.020
If we label people,

1229
01:13:56.020 --> 01:13:59.140
we're saying that that is all they're ever going to be.

1230
01:14:00.280 --> 01:14:02.640
I don't want someone to label me,

1231
01:14:02.640 --> 01:14:05.000
and so I'm not gonna label anybody else.

1232
01:14:05.000 --> 01:14:10.000
So we separate their behavior from their identity, okay?

1233
01:14:10.560 --> 01:14:12.920
And I know I have pushback from people all the time.

1234
01:14:12.920 --> 01:14:16.400
Well, a psychiatrist has labeled them

1235
01:14:16.400 --> 01:14:19.020
and said they are a narcissist.

1236
01:14:19.020 --> 01:14:20.420
Okay, I get it,

1237
01:14:20.420 --> 01:14:23.540
but we're talking about spiritual things here.

1238
01:14:23.540 --> 01:14:25.540
You gotta look at it spiritually.

1239
01:14:25.540 --> 01:14:28.580
And so I wanna encourage you to separate

1240
01:14:29.980 --> 01:14:32.140
your claim on someone else

1241
01:14:32.140 --> 01:14:34.220
and the way that you're speaking about them,

1242
01:14:34.220 --> 01:14:37.900
separate their behavior from their identity.

1243
01:14:37.900 --> 01:14:41.240
They struggle with this, whatever it is.

1244
01:14:41.240 --> 01:14:43.980
Just like I struggled with anxiety.

1245
01:14:43.980 --> 01:14:48.060
I didn't wanna be labeled as an anxious person, okay?

1246
01:14:48.060 --> 01:14:51.260
All right, so let's extend grace to people in that.

1247
01:14:51.260 --> 01:14:53.340
But the reason I mentioned that

1248
01:14:53.340 --> 01:14:58.180
is I chose to be in that relationship with him, you all,

1249
01:14:58.180 --> 01:15:00.180
and God was warning me.

1250
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:07.600
And I heard him warning me, but I, I was having a hard time fully understanding, like, if

1251
01:15:07.600 --> 01:15:10.980
it meant I couldn't date him at all, like all these little things.

1252
01:15:10.980 --> 01:15:14.480
And before I knew it, you know, I was so far into that relationship and in love with those

1253
01:15:14.480 --> 01:15:21.520
little girls that I found myself like, I can't leave them.

1254
01:15:21.520 --> 01:15:22.520
And I wanted it to work.

1255
01:15:22.520 --> 01:15:28.320
I was always waiting for the guy that love bombing guy, um, to come back for two weeks.

1256
01:15:28.320 --> 01:15:33.600
He was like, amazing y'all while I was waiting for that guy to come back and he never did.

1257
01:15:33.600 --> 01:15:34.600
Darn it.

1258
01:15:34.600 --> 01:15:35.600
But no, not darn it.

1259
01:15:35.600 --> 01:15:36.600
Cause guess what?

1260
01:15:36.600 --> 01:15:38.240
I'm living a great life now.

1261
01:15:38.240 --> 01:15:41.440
And that was not the relationship God had for me.

1262
01:15:41.440 --> 01:15:45.080
I begged for God to have him ask me to marry him.

1263
01:15:45.080 --> 01:15:47.920
I did all the time.

1264
01:15:47.920 --> 01:15:54.160
Y'all know, God loved me so much that he said no to that.

1265
01:15:54.160 --> 01:15:58.120
And it's a good thing that sometimes he says no to things.

1266
01:15:58.120 --> 01:16:01.560
You might not see it yet, but one day you will.

1267
01:16:01.560 --> 01:16:06.440
And so I want to encourage you to really be asking God, where do you need to own your

1268
01:16:06.440 --> 01:16:11.800
side of the street and some of the things that have happened in your life on that note,

1269
01:16:11.800 --> 01:16:18.460
I want you to also be asking the Lord to reveal any blind spots, blind spots you might have

1270
01:16:18.460 --> 01:16:25.680
that keep you from seeing yourself, you know, in the areas where you do need to change.

1271
01:16:25.680 --> 01:16:29.360
I went to a counselor and she asked me why I wanted to go to her.

1272
01:16:29.360 --> 01:16:31.920
And I said, well, here's the thing.

1273
01:16:31.920 --> 01:16:38.200
I was married before and that guy ended up abusing me in every way I can imagine.

1274
01:16:38.200 --> 01:16:44.040
And then I dated another guy and he was an alcoholic and cheated on me.

1275
01:16:44.040 --> 01:16:47.280
And then I dated the girl's dad and he did the same thing.

1276
01:16:47.280 --> 01:16:52.400
So there's a common denominator here and it's me.

1277
01:16:52.400 --> 01:16:58.040
I needed to learn why I was attracting those people and there was some more healing.

1278
01:16:58.040 --> 01:17:01.880
And so I went to that counselor for a while and that was long before I came into this

1279
01:17:01.880 --> 01:17:03.200
community.

1280
01:17:03.200 --> 01:17:09.440
And so I'm saying that to y'all tonight because back in the day I had some blind spots and

1281
01:17:09.440 --> 01:17:13.960
some counterfeit identities that I was living into that I didn't even know I was living

1282
01:17:13.960 --> 01:17:14.960
into anymore.

1283
01:17:14.960 --> 01:17:16.680
You all, okay.

1284
01:17:16.680 --> 01:17:18.240
I was serving the Lord all the time.

1285
01:17:18.240 --> 01:17:23.920
I loved the Lord and I really had the best understanding I could have of Him at that

1286
01:17:23.920 --> 01:17:24.920
time.

1287
01:17:24.920 --> 01:17:28.120
But man, since then I've just grown in my understanding of Him so much more.

1288
01:17:28.120 --> 01:17:32.040
And I hope that that just keeps growing and changing me from the inside out.

1289
01:17:32.040 --> 01:17:34.800
And so I believe the same for all of you as well.

1290
01:17:34.800 --> 01:17:41.120
So I'm saying all that to tell you this, who knows what a squatter is?

1291
01:17:41.120 --> 01:17:42.360
Anyone know what a squatter is?

1292
01:17:42.360 --> 01:17:43.360
All right.

1293
01:17:43.360 --> 01:17:44.800
Katie, I see some hands.

1294
01:17:44.800 --> 01:17:46.800
People saying, yep, I know what a squatter is.

1295
01:17:46.800 --> 01:17:47.800
Yep.

1296
01:17:48.360 --> 01:17:49.360
All right.

1297
01:17:49.360 --> 01:17:54.920
So our heart is considered a house a lot of times prophetically, okay?

1298
01:17:54.920 --> 01:18:04.120
So what I want you to be considering is your house has some squatters in it.

1299
01:18:04.120 --> 01:18:10.080
Some people that came in, the people represent lies that came in and they took up residence

1300
01:18:10.080 --> 01:18:16.360
in your house and they've been like camping out there thinking that they own the house.

1301
01:18:16.360 --> 01:18:19.960
But it's time for you to evict them.

1302
01:18:19.960 --> 01:18:24.240
It's time for you to kick them out of the house, your heart and say, you do not belong

1303
01:18:24.240 --> 01:18:29.300
here and I am not going to partner with you any more.

1304
01:18:29.300 --> 01:18:33.320
So whatever those lies are for you tonight, that's what we're going to talk about in breakout

1305
01:18:33.320 --> 01:18:37.480
session number two.

1306
01:18:37.480 --> 01:18:44.000
What squatters do you have in your heart that you need to evict tonight?

1307
01:18:44.000 --> 01:18:47.360
Maybe your squatter is that you believe all men are liars.

1308
01:18:47.360 --> 01:18:49.280
I don't know.

1309
01:18:49.280 --> 01:18:56.360
Maybe your squatter is that, you know, you can never step into the promises that God

1310
01:18:56.360 --> 01:18:58.040
has for you like marriage.

1311
01:18:58.040 --> 01:19:02.380
I don't know, but I believe that you all know at least one.

1312
01:19:02.380 --> 01:19:05.320
So that's what we're going to have you talk about in this next breakout session.

1313
01:19:05.320 --> 01:19:07.760
I'm going to have you in there for four minutes.

1314
01:19:07.760 --> 01:19:10.280
So this one's going to be quick.

1315
01:19:10.280 --> 01:19:13.600
We're going to recreate these rooms really fast.

1316
01:19:13.600 --> 01:19:17.240
Oh, can you repeat the question?

1317
01:19:17.240 --> 01:19:18.240
I'm sorry.

1318
01:19:18.240 --> 01:19:19.240
I had to run and get a charger.

1319
01:19:19.240 --> 01:19:23.000
Yeah, it's totally fine.

1320
01:19:23.000 --> 01:19:29.000
We are talking about what squatters so the squatters represent lies in your heart.

1321
01:19:29.000 --> 01:19:30.800
Do you need to evict tonight?

1322
01:19:30.800 --> 01:19:36.560
All right, so we're gonna do four minutes.

1323
01:19:36.560 --> 01:19:37.560
There we go.

1324
01:19:37.560 --> 01:19:38.560
Go ahead and click to join those ladies.

1325
01:19:38.560 --> 01:19:39.560
So you have four minutes.

1326
01:19:39.560 --> 01:19:40.560
Be brief and powerful.

1327
01:19:40.560 --> 01:19:54.360
Just gotta make sure we get everyone.

1328
01:19:54.360 --> 01:19:57.880
Juanita, are you able to join a room?

1329
01:19:57.880 --> 01:19:58.880
I'm not sure.

1330
01:19:58.880 --> 01:20:00.040
If not, I need to move somewhere.

1331
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:06.600
one. Oh, that's okay. I might just have to move both of you

1332
01:20:06.600 --> 01:20:08.080
all around. That's totally fine.

1333
01:20:20.640 --> 01:20:23.000
All right, I think we've got everyone situated. Father, thank

1334
01:20:23.000 --> 01:20:26.240
you so much again for your goodness. Thanks for your truth.

1335
01:20:27.240 --> 01:20:30.400
Lord, we ask you to go into the dark places in the into the

1336
01:20:30.400 --> 01:20:34.720
recesses of our soul and illuminate every dark place. God

1337
01:20:34.720 --> 01:20:41.240
we ask you to bring truth we ask you to bring life, resurrection

1338
01:20:41.240 --> 01:20:47.160
power, just like the dry bones, the story where Ezekiel was told

1339
01:20:47.160 --> 01:20:50.800
to speak to the dry bones and God that the bones would begin

1340
01:20:51.120 --> 01:20:54.720
that the bones would begin to come together. And then he

1341
01:20:54.800 --> 01:20:58.960
prophesied that life would come into them and spirit would come

1342
01:20:58.960 --> 01:21:03.000
into them and the bones begin to rattle and move and come

1343
01:21:03.000 --> 01:21:06.920
together. Lord, we just we declare that the dead places in

1344
01:21:06.920 --> 01:21:10.400
our hearts in our lives, God that you would breathe into

1345
01:21:10.400 --> 01:21:15.000
them. And those areas that you desire to come to life, God, we

1346
01:21:15.000 --> 01:21:18.320
thank you that you would help them to fully come to life that

1347
01:21:18.320 --> 01:21:24.720
we would awaken to your voice Lord in every area. Lord, I

1348
01:21:24.720 --> 01:21:29.080
thank you that it's a new day, a new day is dawning. And it's our

1349
01:21:29.080 --> 01:21:32.840
time. I thank you God that you've brought us here. Again,

1350
01:21:32.840 --> 01:21:37.960
for such a time as this, I thank you that you are leading us into

1351
01:21:37.960 --> 01:21:41.120
new places and spaces in the days ahead. I'm going to read

1352
01:21:41.160 --> 01:21:47.240
Isaiah 60 over you. Verses one through five. It says this arise

1353
01:21:47.240 --> 01:21:51.080
shine for your light has come and the glory of the Lord rises

1354
01:21:51.080 --> 01:21:54.640
upon you see darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over

1355
01:21:54.640 --> 01:21:59.200
the people's but the Lord rises upon you and his glory appears

1356
01:21:59.240 --> 01:22:02.880
over you. Nations will come to your light and kings to the

1357
01:22:02.880 --> 01:22:08.440
brightness of your dawn. Lift up your eyes and look about you all

1358
01:22:08.440 --> 01:22:11.680
assemble and come to you your sons come from afar and your

1359
01:22:11.680 --> 01:22:15.440
daughters are carried on the hip. Then you will look and be

1360
01:22:15.440 --> 01:22:19.200
radiant and your heart will thrive and swell with joy. The

1361
01:22:19.200 --> 01:22:22.200
wealth on the seas will be brought to you to you the riches

1362
01:22:22.200 --> 01:22:26.840
of the nations will come where we just thank you that we would

1363
01:22:26.880 --> 01:22:33.200
arise and shine and this day and time God we thank you that any

1364
01:22:33.200 --> 01:22:37.000
area where we have felt unworthy unloved that we felt

1365
01:22:37.000 --> 01:22:41.360
undervalued where we've been abandoned or rejected in any way

1366
01:22:41.360 --> 01:22:46.840
God thank you for helping us to become more secure in you every

1367
01:22:46.840 --> 01:22:51.200
day Lord that we would hear what your spirit is saying God that

1368
01:22:51.200 --> 01:22:55.800
we would recognize and respond to your voice and I thank you

1369
01:22:55.800 --> 01:22:58.800
Lord that we would lay aside every weight that so easily and

1370
01:22:58.800 --> 01:23:02.040
snares us that we would press on to the high calling of God for

1371
01:23:02.040 --> 01:23:06.120
our lives and Lord that we would never look back that we would

1372
01:23:06.120 --> 01:23:10.960
never look back and fear that we have missed out on anything God

1373
01:23:10.960 --> 01:23:14.040
I thank you that you're the Redeemer of time God that

1374
01:23:14.200 --> 01:23:17.920
anything where we feel like man I wasted all those years on that

1375
01:23:17.920 --> 01:23:22.000
person or that job or that situation God I thank you that

1376
01:23:22.000 --> 01:23:25.480
you're coming even into those situations and you're redeeming

1377
01:23:25.680 --> 01:23:28.000
our timeline God I thank you that you're doing the

1378
01:23:28.000 --> 01:23:31.960
supernatural work in us and through us I thank you that as

1379
01:23:31.960 --> 01:23:35.240
Proverbs 1821 says death and life are in the power of the

1380
01:23:35.240 --> 01:23:37.920
tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit so Lord I

1381
01:23:37.920 --> 01:23:41.280
thank you that you'll help us to declare your truth and your

1382
01:23:41.280 --> 01:23:46.720
goodness over our lives over our families over the promises that

1383
01:23:46.720 --> 01:23:49.720
you have given to us Lord over our spirit mates that we would

1384
01:23:49.720 --> 01:23:53.640
pray I have my spirit made but I encourage all of you ladies to

1385
01:23:53.640 --> 01:23:56.840
pray for your spirit mates long before they come to ask God to

1386
01:23:56.840 --> 01:24:00.680
show you what he might want you to pray and intercede for your

1387
01:24:00.680 --> 01:24:03.840
spirit mates so that you can be a blessing to them long before

1388
01:24:03.840 --> 01:24:08.200
they come and I promise you will not regret it you will not

1389
01:24:08.200 --> 01:24:11.560
regret it when you pray for them intercede for them we have some

1390
01:24:11.560 --> 01:24:15.680
people that keep journals of prayers that they've written for

1391
01:24:15.680 --> 01:24:18.080
their spirit mates and give it to them on the wedding day or

1392
01:24:18.080 --> 01:24:22.560
things like that and so really lean into asking the Lord what

1393
01:24:22.560 --> 01:24:25.560
he might have you do to invest in your spirit mate before they

1394
01:24:25.560 --> 01:24:28.400
come and not that you would get so caught up with that but it's

1395
01:24:28.400 --> 01:24:33.040
okay for you to pray a prayer in a journal and just release that

1396
01:24:33.040 --> 01:24:37.600
and keep that for them to give to them at some other time we

1397
01:24:37.600 --> 01:24:39.720
have everybody's almost going to be back with us here in a

1398
01:24:39.720 --> 01:24:43.800
minute. Those breakout rooms are about to close. Yeah, there we

1399
01:24:43.800 --> 01:24:49.120
go. Hello, welcome back. Alright, so just one other thing

1400
01:24:49.120 --> 01:24:52.800
I almost forgot to tell you this. Andrea, one of our peer

1401
01:24:52.800 --> 01:24:55.800
coaches in training shared it this afternoon and I in it

1402
01:24:55.800 --> 01:24:59.720
reminded me that I wanted to share this tonight as well as I

1403
01:24:59.720 --> 01:24:59.920
look

1404
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:06.640
at the note of what she said. She used to believe the lie that God was a trickster

1405
01:25:07.200 --> 01:25:13.600
and he could not be trusted. It wasn't just that she didn't believe she could trust him,

1406
01:25:14.800 --> 01:25:20.000
but she believed the lie that he was a trickster and he actually wasn't trustworthy.

1407
01:25:21.280 --> 01:25:26.320
And so not sure if that's going to hit home for some different people tonight, but

1408
01:25:27.280 --> 01:25:33.680
God is not a God that dangles carrots in front of you. And then when you get closer, he's like,

1409
01:25:33.680 --> 01:25:40.640
nope, just kidding. That is not who God is. Like he doesn't do that. The enemy might try to cause

1410
01:25:40.640 --> 01:25:44.960
some of you to believe that that is who God is, but that is not who he is. And so I want to

1411
01:25:44.960 --> 01:25:51.040
encourage you if that resonates for you on any level to be praying for God to show you

1412
01:25:51.920 --> 01:25:57.120
his character, to show you who he is, to help you see that more clearly in the days to come,

1413
01:25:58.160 --> 01:26:03.680
because he wants to show you, you know, not who the enemy has said that he is, but who he truly

1414
01:26:03.680 --> 01:26:09.120
is. All right. So who is willing to share with the whole group what you shared in the breakout group?

1415
01:26:11.520 --> 01:26:17.520
All right. Awesome. Joy, go ahead. Oh, right. So I hope this is a hit home run. Okay. Thank you

1416
01:26:17.520 --> 01:26:24.960
for your sharing before. So I was talking and then I realized the lie believing is I'm not,

1417
01:26:25.680 --> 01:26:32.480
I was not good enough. I know it was not a productive, efficient. So that's why I got

1418
01:26:32.480 --> 01:26:39.280
as frustrated. That's, I was not sure about my identity. Then I just learned from you.

1419
01:26:40.080 --> 01:26:48.800
You have to learn, separate my behavior from my true identity. So, okay. I nailed it because the

1420
01:26:48.800 --> 01:26:55.280
thief is fine. So he's going to pay seven times, a hundred times. So I am going to believe who I

1421
01:26:55.280 --> 01:27:00.640
am. It doesn't matter what I might behave, but I know God is still healing me, restoring me.

1422
01:27:00.640 --> 01:27:08.160
So I know I was super sharp. I have a lesbian focus. I will be so smart and so wise, so efficient,

1423
01:27:08.160 --> 01:27:15.920
so productive. And it's so efficient and fruitful. I know that because I'm a child of God. So God is

1424
01:27:15.920 --> 01:27:22.880
able to redeem all the lost, all the loss of time, whatever, you know, I'm going to trust God. I'm

1425
01:27:22.880 --> 01:27:29.760
going to trust who God say who I am. I'm true, my true identity in Christ Jesus. So I'm not going

1426
01:27:29.760 --> 01:27:36.800
to compare my, affect my behavior. When I see my behavior or not, I will come for myself. I speak

1427
01:27:37.360 --> 01:27:44.720
and speak the word of God over myself. Yeah. So thank Jesus. Yay. Yay. Praise the Lord. Look at

1428
01:27:44.720 --> 01:27:48.880
that transformation, even from just a little bit ago. And here's the thing, ladies, we can say,

1429
01:27:48.880 --> 01:27:56.400
God, can you remind me who I am? Remind me who your word says that I am. And what does your spirit

1430
01:27:56.400 --> 01:28:03.200
want to say to me today? We can hear the truth from the father's heart, literally every single

1431
01:28:03.200 --> 01:28:09.760
day, you all. And from Jesus, who is our friend. It says that we're a friend of Jesus and that he

1432
01:28:09.760 --> 01:28:13.600
likes to, they like to share secrets from heaven with us. I don't know if you know that, but the

1433
01:28:13.600 --> 01:28:19.840
Bible says it, it does. And so we can come close and hear revelation from heaven and new insight

1434
01:28:19.840 --> 01:28:23.760
every single day. Love that joy. Thanks so much for sharing. Vern, go ahead.

1435
01:28:24.160 --> 01:28:36.960
Okay. Let's see. So the two lies that I was saying that I need to, well, those two squatters are lies

1436
01:28:38.160 --> 01:28:48.560
and it has to do with my adult children. And I feel like this have been a holdup on me and,

1437
01:28:49.520 --> 01:28:57.920
you know, in relationships. I actually stopped dating in 1996 and didn't date again to 2016.

1438
01:28:58.720 --> 01:29:04.800
And I tried and I was like, wow, I don't know how to date. I need some help in this. But anyway,

1439
01:29:04.800 --> 01:29:12.880
so with my adult children, this thing that would just come to me all the time because of,

1440
01:29:12.880 --> 01:29:20.720
you know, the lifestyle, I'll say that they're, that they're living. And I would have to reveal

1441
01:29:20.720 --> 01:29:25.840
that, of course, to my husband and everything. I'm not ashamed of it because I know it's still

1442
01:29:25.840 --> 01:29:31.360
going to be a testimony that my son decided that he wanted to live, you know, a gay lifestyle.

1443
01:29:31.360 --> 01:29:37.920
And then my daughter decided she wanted to, I'm just trying to figure this out and we're just

1444
01:29:37.920 --> 01:29:44.640
friends. But anyway, yes, that bothers me. But I'm not mad about it because I know that's the

1445
01:29:44.640 --> 01:29:51.760
trick of the enemy that he's using. And I know that the both of them actually will come out of

1446
01:29:51.760 --> 01:29:56.560
that and they will be winning that community to the kingdom of God. And I do strongly feel

1447
01:29:57.520 --> 01:29:59.840
that they will be. So I'm not so, I'm not.

1448
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:00.840
I'm mad about it.

1449
01:30:00.840 --> 01:30:02.000
I love them.

1450
01:30:02.000 --> 01:30:02.840
They're my kids.

1451
01:30:02.840 --> 01:30:04.240
They're, well, they're God's first.

1452
01:30:04.240 --> 01:30:05.960
And I've turned them back over to God

1453
01:30:05.960 --> 01:30:09.040
because it just seemed like every time I try to,

1454
01:30:09.040 --> 01:30:10.920
you know, was trying to get close to somebody,

1455
01:30:10.920 --> 01:30:13.200
somebody's trying to, well, get close to me.

1456
01:30:13.200 --> 01:30:14.960
I'm like, nah, you know,

1457
01:30:14.960 --> 01:30:17.800
you know, I'm gonna have to say something about that

1458
01:30:17.800 --> 01:30:19.840
at some point, I know not up front.

1459
01:30:19.840 --> 01:30:22.920
But yes, and so the things that they'll tell me now

1460
01:30:22.920 --> 01:30:25.840
is that, you know, they'll say something,

1461
01:30:25.840 --> 01:30:28.240
give me all this unsolicited advice,

1462
01:30:28.240 --> 01:30:31.360
like, mom, you're getting older.

1463
01:30:31.360 --> 01:30:32.640
It's not like you're getting younger.

1464
01:30:32.640 --> 01:30:34.920
You're being too picky.

1465
01:30:34.920 --> 01:30:37.480
Your chances are pretty slim now.

1466
01:30:37.480 --> 01:30:40.480
And you just need to just start dating.

1467
01:30:40.480 --> 01:30:42.080
No, you don't need to worry about us,

1468
01:30:42.080 --> 01:30:45.320
but yeah, that thing keep coming back to me.

1469
01:30:45.320 --> 01:30:48.640
And yes, it would bother me.

1470
01:30:48.640 --> 01:30:50.120
And so I would always shut down.

1471
01:30:50.120 --> 01:30:54.480
Anytime somebody is trying to get to know me,

1472
01:30:54.480 --> 01:30:57.520
I kind of shut down in that area because yes,

1473
01:30:57.520 --> 01:31:00.160
at one point I was embarrassed or ashamed,

1474
01:31:00.160 --> 01:31:02.600
you know, in everything, but not anymore.

1475
01:31:02.600 --> 01:31:04.800
I mean, I've moved past it now.

1476
01:31:04.800 --> 01:31:09.640
And I just recently told them that I'm done with them,

1477
01:31:09.640 --> 01:31:11.600
not done with them because I said,

1478
01:31:11.600 --> 01:31:14.200
you guys rely on me so much.

1479
01:31:14.200 --> 01:31:15.640
I know that there was a soul tie.

1480
01:31:15.640 --> 01:31:17.640
It was a soul tie with being my kids.

1481
01:31:17.640 --> 01:31:18.960
You can have a soul tie with your kids.

1482
01:31:18.960 --> 01:31:20.640
You can be so attached to them.

1483
01:31:20.640 --> 01:31:23.280
But I told them, I said, no,

1484
01:31:23.280 --> 01:31:25.920
no longer you guys are gonna just use me

1485
01:31:25.960 --> 01:31:27.800
when you get into some type of trouble.

1486
01:31:27.800 --> 01:31:29.480
And what I mean by that, on your job,

1487
01:31:29.480 --> 01:31:31.240
you have me to meet me to pray for this,

1488
01:31:31.240 --> 01:31:32.280
meet me to do this.

1489
01:31:32.280 --> 01:31:34.040
You just run to me on that.

1490
01:31:34.040 --> 01:31:35.560
And I say, no, no more.

1491
01:31:35.560 --> 01:31:38.200
You have to, you already had a relationship with God.

1492
01:31:38.200 --> 01:31:40.280
I brought you guys up in a Christian home.

1493
01:31:40.280 --> 01:31:42.240
I taught you guys and everything.

1494
01:31:42.240 --> 01:31:47.240
So that's the squatters that I'm kicking out.

1495
01:31:47.280 --> 01:31:48.480
I'm so glad.

1496
01:31:48.480 --> 01:31:50.040
I'm so glad you're kicking them out.

1497
01:31:50.040 --> 01:31:51.880
And Kate, you know, here's the thing.

1498
01:31:52.240 --> 01:31:55.640
I would encourage you to really pray about

1499
01:31:55.640 --> 01:32:00.640
what is really causing you to pull back with these men.

1500
01:32:00.840 --> 01:32:04.160
I hear you saying it's because you are nervous

1501
01:32:04.160 --> 01:32:06.880
to tell them what's going on with your kids.

1502
01:32:06.880 --> 01:32:07.960
Okay.

1503
01:32:07.960 --> 01:32:11.360
But, and that might be the reason, but we need to-

1504
01:32:11.360 --> 01:32:12.200
The part.

1505
01:32:12.200 --> 01:32:14.400
Yeah, we need to make sure there's not other things

1506
01:32:14.400 --> 01:32:15.360
under the surface there.

1507
01:32:15.360 --> 01:32:16.960
And I wanna encourage you in this,

1508
01:32:17.320 --> 01:32:22.320
because when I met my husband,

1509
01:32:23.320 --> 01:32:26.320
I'm trying to think if she was already or not,

1510
01:32:26.320 --> 01:32:28.560
his oldest daughter is currently

1511
01:32:28.560 --> 01:32:30.800
in a same-sex relationship.

1512
01:32:30.800 --> 01:32:33.280
It's hard, but we love them.

1513
01:32:33.280 --> 01:32:36.640
And, you know, God is doing some stuff there

1514
01:32:36.640 --> 01:32:39.840
and God has been reconciling.

1515
01:32:39.840 --> 01:32:41.440
Cause when I first met him,

1516
01:32:41.440 --> 01:32:44.040
his ex had said so many terrible things

1517
01:32:44.040 --> 01:32:45.360
that girls didn't realize.

1518
01:32:45.560 --> 01:32:47.480
Terrible things that girls didn't really know

1519
01:32:47.480 --> 01:32:48.840
what to believe about their dad.

1520
01:32:48.840 --> 01:32:50.120
And he's like one of the kindest people

1521
01:32:50.120 --> 01:32:52.040
I've ever met in my life, y'all.

1522
01:32:52.040 --> 01:32:55.760
Really sad what the mom did in that situation there.

1523
01:32:56.840 --> 01:32:58.560
But God's been, you know,

1524
01:32:58.560 --> 01:33:00.920
really restoring those relationships with his daughters.

1525
01:33:00.920 --> 01:33:03.800
His youngest has come and stayed with us multiple times.

1526
01:33:03.800 --> 01:33:05.760
His oldest, it's taken a little longer,

1527
01:33:05.760 --> 01:33:08.800
but she's, you know, was kind of got the brunt

1528
01:33:08.800 --> 01:33:10.840
of some of that stuff with the mom.

1529
01:33:10.840 --> 01:33:12.400
But I'm saying that to say,

1530
01:33:13.400 --> 01:33:16.880
I had not one thought in my mind about,

1531
01:33:16.880 --> 01:33:19.560
like it never came across my mind

1532
01:33:19.560 --> 01:33:22.720
that I would not choose Brian because of that.

1533
01:33:22.720 --> 01:33:25.360
And so if I believe a hundred percent,

1534
01:33:25.360 --> 01:33:27.280
if God can lead me to Brian

1535
01:33:27.280 --> 01:33:30.120
and I can love his kids no matter what,

1536
01:33:30.120 --> 01:33:32.880
that God will provide a spirit mate for you

1537
01:33:32.880 --> 01:33:34.720
that can also do the same.

1538
01:33:34.720 --> 01:33:35.560
Okay.

1539
01:33:35.560 --> 01:33:38.080
And so if that is the only reason we can-

1540
01:33:38.080 --> 01:33:39.200
It's not the only reason though.

1541
01:33:39.200 --> 01:33:40.520
Yeah, I figured it's not.

1542
01:33:40.560 --> 01:33:41.840
Yeah, I figured it's not.

1543
01:33:41.840 --> 01:33:44.360
No, that's not the only reason.

1544
01:33:44.360 --> 01:33:46.800
That's not the only reason.

1545
01:33:46.800 --> 01:33:49.200
The other reason would be,

1546
01:33:49.200 --> 01:33:52.840
I would say trauma for me

1547
01:33:52.840 --> 01:33:56.080
was trauma being in my mother's womb.

1548
01:33:56.080 --> 01:34:01.080
My dad died the month before I was born

1549
01:34:01.480 --> 01:34:05.840
and mom never talked to me about that.

1550
01:34:05.840 --> 01:34:09.600
And actually I went through my childhood and everything.

1551
01:34:09.600 --> 01:34:14.120
I thought I was fine, but it hit me, I'm 62,

1552
01:34:14.120 --> 01:34:19.120
but it actually hit me like in 2020, 2021

1553
01:34:20.760 --> 01:34:23.480
was when it really hit me.

1554
01:34:23.480 --> 01:34:26.520
And when I started looking at the relationships

1555
01:34:26.520 --> 01:34:28.840
that I was in, because like I said,

1556
01:34:28.840 --> 01:34:30.640
I didn't date for 20 years

1557
01:34:30.640 --> 01:34:33.280
and I tried to date a guy in 2016.

1558
01:34:33.280 --> 01:34:36.080
And that's when I started back on the dating scene.

1559
01:34:36.080 --> 01:34:38.760
And then that's when I really started seeing a pattern

1560
01:34:38.760 --> 01:34:41.880
of the guys that I was trying to get to know.

1561
01:34:41.880 --> 01:34:44.000
But yes, I would have let them get close to me

1562
01:34:44.000 --> 01:34:45.160
and I'm glad I did it

1563
01:34:45.160 --> 01:34:47.560
because it was a lot of other stuff with them.

1564
01:34:47.560 --> 01:34:49.200
I do have kids from them,

1565
01:34:49.200 --> 01:34:51.880
but I'm glad that I didn't let it go as well.

1566
01:34:51.880 --> 01:34:52.720
But I was a runner.

1567
01:34:52.720 --> 01:34:53.560
Yes, I would.

1568
01:34:53.560 --> 01:34:58.240
I would run when I see things not going right

1569
01:34:58.240 --> 01:35:00.640
or as a result of it.

1570
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:02.220
And I'll get silent, wouldn't speak up for myself

1571
01:35:02.220 --> 01:35:03.400
and all those things like that.

1572
01:35:03.400 --> 01:35:05.600
And I'll just run, I'll just leave it.

1573
01:35:05.600 --> 01:35:07.440
Okay, so I have, yeah.

1574
01:35:07.440 --> 01:35:08.560
So I have something for you

1575
01:35:08.560 --> 01:35:11.360
and then I'm gonna move just to Ruth Ann,

1576
01:35:11.360 --> 01:35:14.640
or Ruth A, I said Ruth Ann, sorry about that.

1577
01:35:14.640 --> 01:35:16.040
And Karen Rioson.

1578
01:35:16.040 --> 01:35:19.160
But you just said, I am a runner.

1579
01:35:19.160 --> 01:35:21.080
Okay, so what I want you to do,

1580
01:35:21.080 --> 01:35:24.080
I want you to come out of agreement with that statement.

1581
01:35:24.080 --> 01:35:25.520
Well, I was a runner.

1582
01:35:25.520 --> 01:35:28.040
Yeah, yes, exactly.

1583
01:35:28.040 --> 01:35:30.560
In the past, I struggled with running

1584
01:35:30.560 --> 01:35:32.920
from situations or people,

1585
01:35:32.920 --> 01:35:37.160
but the Lord is helping me to be calm

1586
01:35:37.160 --> 01:35:39.020
and to be able to learn how to connect

1587
01:35:39.020 --> 01:35:41.140
with people in healthy ways.

1588
01:35:41.140 --> 01:35:42.420
You know, you can say something else,

1589
01:35:42.420 --> 01:35:44.280
but I'm just kind of giving you an idea.

1590
01:35:44.280 --> 01:35:45.800
But really pray and ask the Lord

1591
01:35:45.800 --> 01:35:48.400
how to take what you used to say,

1592
01:35:48.400 --> 01:35:50.080
come out of alignment agreement with it

1593
01:35:50.080 --> 01:35:54.680
and write a declaration about who you are becoming

1594
01:35:54.680 --> 01:35:57.080
and say that over yourself, okay?

1595
01:35:57.080 --> 01:35:58.160
Yes, thank you.

1596
01:35:58.160 --> 01:35:59.440
Awesome, great share.

1597
01:35:59.440 --> 01:36:00.740
Thank you so much.

1598
01:36:00.740 --> 01:36:02.440
All right, Ruth, go ahead.

1599
01:36:02.440 --> 01:36:04.880
And you all, if you have to hop off, it's totally fine.

1600
01:36:04.880 --> 01:36:06.280
I know we're past time.

1601
01:36:07.600 --> 01:36:10.880
Before Ruth shares, the activation for this week

1602
01:36:10.880 --> 01:36:12.520
is for you to go into the group

1603
01:36:12.520 --> 01:36:14.860
and share about your squatters that you're evicting.

1604
01:36:14.860 --> 01:36:16.760
So even if you're not talking live,

1605
01:36:16.760 --> 01:36:18.800
I wanna hear from you in the group this week.

1606
01:36:18.800 --> 01:36:20.680
What squatters are you kicking out?

1607
01:36:20.680 --> 01:36:23.160
And some of y'all have been busting out your activations.

1608
01:36:23.160 --> 01:36:24.720
It's been awesome seeing those.

1609
01:36:24.720 --> 01:36:26.240
So praise the Lord on that.

1610
01:36:26.240 --> 01:36:27.760
But if you do have to jump off, it's okay.

1611
01:36:27.760 --> 01:36:31.400
But I am gonna let Ruth A. and Karen share before we close.

1612
01:36:31.400 --> 01:36:34.960
But those two will be the last two I'll take tonight, okay?

1613
01:36:34.960 --> 01:36:37.800
All right, Ruth, go ahead.

1614
01:36:37.800 --> 01:36:39.680
Oh, thanks, Bethany.

1615
01:36:39.680 --> 01:36:42.520
Sorry, I'm having like sinus and-

1616
01:36:42.520 --> 01:36:43.520
Oh, that's all right.

1617
01:36:45.400 --> 01:36:50.400
The lies for me are that it's kind of dual-sided

1618
01:36:50.920 --> 01:36:52.280
or two sides of the same coin,

1619
01:36:52.280 --> 01:36:57.280
but that I can't or won't unlearn

1620
01:36:57.280 --> 01:37:00.640
whether it's bad habits or parts of my psyche,

1621
01:37:00.640 --> 01:37:04.080
my personality that are, you could say I regress,

1622
01:37:04.080 --> 01:37:06.640
that aren't serving me well or that aren't helping me,

1623
01:37:06.640 --> 01:37:11.280
that have kept me stuck and that we're involved

1624
01:37:11.280 --> 01:37:13.240
or we're part of the demise of my marriage,

1625
01:37:13.240 --> 01:37:16.040
that I won't be able to unlearn those

1626
01:37:16.040 --> 01:37:20.320
to have a healthy relationship or marriage again.

1627
01:37:20.320 --> 01:37:25.040
It's almost like I'm doomed by those,

1628
01:37:25.040 --> 01:37:29.400
by areas where, or places where I've struggled

1629
01:37:29.400 --> 01:37:32.720
and that because of that, that I don't have

1630
01:37:32.720 --> 01:37:37.400
or I won't have what it takes to be a good mother,

1631
01:37:37.400 --> 01:37:41.840
that because of the struggles that I've had,

1632
01:37:44.280 --> 01:37:48.280
that I don't have what it takes to be loving

1633
01:37:48.400 --> 01:37:50.480
or to be caring or affectionate.

1634
01:37:51.640 --> 01:37:53.240
Even though those are the things I,

1635
01:37:53.240 --> 01:37:55.520
I don't know how to explain what I'm trying to say, but-

1636
01:37:55.520 --> 01:37:57.160
I do understand what you're trying to say.

1637
01:37:57.160 --> 01:37:58.240
Yeah, it's very clear.

1638
01:37:59.160 --> 01:38:02.240
I just was thinking and pondering as you were sharing.

1639
01:38:03.840 --> 01:38:06.280
Did you feel like your mom was affectionate

1640
01:38:06.280 --> 01:38:08.400
with you when you were little?

1641
01:38:08.400 --> 01:38:12.240
No, not because, she grew up in the society.

1642
01:38:12.240 --> 01:38:15.840
My mother's Nigerian and the way she grew up,

1643
01:38:15.840 --> 01:38:18.600
they never said, I remember just a week or two ago,

1644
01:38:18.600 --> 01:38:20.720
I was talking to my mom on the phone and I said,

1645
01:38:20.720 --> 01:38:22.400
I love you and she said, love you too.

1646
01:38:22.400 --> 01:38:24.760
And I thought my heart would stop

1647
01:38:24.760 --> 01:38:27.800
and I yelled my dad, oh my God, she said, I love you too.

1648
01:38:27.800 --> 01:38:30.040
And I, because that was, I mean,

1649
01:38:30.040 --> 01:38:31.280
my mom could come to your house,

1650
01:38:31.280 --> 01:38:33.400
she'll clean your home from top to bottom.

1651
01:38:33.400 --> 01:38:36.000
She'll cook for you for a week, a month, a year.

1652
01:38:36.000 --> 01:38:39.320
Like, so that was how they were very utilitarian.

1653
01:38:39.320 --> 01:38:42.400
You did this, but never expressed it.

1654
01:38:42.480 --> 01:38:45.840
And it was just, I mean, she did, she showed everything.

1655
01:38:45.840 --> 01:38:48.520
I mean, at one point she was working three, four jobs

1656
01:38:48.520 --> 01:38:52.480
for us, so she showed it, but she never would say

1657
01:38:52.480 --> 01:38:57.480
or physically allowed, like hugging, like she's not done.

1658
01:38:58.600 --> 01:39:00.960
Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of amazing parents.

1659
01:39:00.960 --> 01:39:05.120
I was just talking to a young lady from our church

1660
01:39:05.120 --> 01:39:09.640
who her dad is a great guy and very faithful in church,

1661
01:39:09.680 --> 01:39:14.680
but really struggles to show affection.

1662
01:39:14.840 --> 01:39:17.440
His mom didn't show him affection when he was raised.

1663
01:39:17.440 --> 01:39:18.920
And so that's just not something he does.

1664
01:39:18.920 --> 01:39:21.720
Like literally she was like, he'll leave for a job

1665
01:39:21.720 --> 01:39:23.400
where he knows he's gonna be gone for a month

1666
01:39:23.400 --> 01:39:26.520
and not even like say goodbye, like he just leaves.

1667
01:39:26.520 --> 01:39:28.840
He's not trying to be mean or hurtful.

1668
01:39:28.840 --> 01:39:32.640
He just doesn't connect in certain ways

1669
01:39:32.640 --> 01:39:34.440
that other people might.

1670
01:39:34.440 --> 01:39:38.000
And so 100%, I don't think it's so much

1671
01:39:38.000 --> 01:39:40.360
that someone's not a good parent.

1672
01:39:40.360 --> 01:39:45.360
Again, we do things typically because it can be a cultural,

1673
01:39:46.040 --> 01:39:48.160
it can be how we learned.

1674
01:39:48.160 --> 01:39:51.200
Oh, I love that, you're meeting someone else there

1675
01:39:51.200 --> 01:39:53.680
from similar culture, I love it.

1676
01:39:53.680 --> 01:39:56.480
But we do need to look at that though,

1677
01:39:56.480 --> 01:40:00.120
because you're also learning from your mom.

1678
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:05.200
But that doesn't mean that God's not changing you all, all of you. It sounds like God's teaching

1679
01:40:05.200 --> 01:40:09.680
your mom how to communicate that she loves you too. There's some change happening there.

1680
01:40:09.680 --> 01:40:15.840
And so, um, you know, who's to say, and again, not that you have to do this, but like there's

1681
01:40:15.840 --> 01:40:22.400
parenting classes and, and there's other classes to teach you how to connect and emote and hug.

1682
01:40:22.400 --> 01:40:26.160
And I mean, there's like, there's literally classes for everything now, you all, if there's

1683
01:40:26.160 --> 01:40:33.120
anything we don't know, someone is willing to teach us how to do it. Um, and so some people

1684
01:40:33.120 --> 01:40:40.880
have a natural inclination to be motherly, but it can also be learned a hundred percent. And

1685
01:40:40.880 --> 01:40:49.200
our past doesn't have to define us ever, ever. And so I'm so glad you're kicking those out,

1686
01:40:49.200 --> 01:40:55.200
that you're evicting those. Um, Ruth, I I've seen you like sharing and really leaning in

1687
01:40:55.200 --> 01:41:00.480
the whole time you've been in this heartwork and God is doing stuff in you. And it's great.

1688
01:41:00.480 --> 01:41:07.360
It's great to see the changes. Um, I believe this is just the beginning for you and, uh,

1689
01:41:08.080 --> 01:41:14.160
really allowing yourself to see that you do have what it takes.

1690
01:41:15.440 --> 01:41:19.840
You do have what it takes. You've been showing up here faithfully, consistently.

1691
01:41:20.320 --> 01:41:26.960
So even that you can be like, no devil, that's not true. I do show up faithfully and consistently,

1692
01:41:26.960 --> 01:41:32.160
and I care about people or whatever it is you need to say. You don't want to talk to him too long

1693
01:41:32.160 --> 01:41:35.760
because we don't want to focus on him, but I'm just saying it is okay for us to be like,

1694
01:41:35.760 --> 01:41:40.800
get out of here. Like you do not belong in my mind. You don't belong in my heart.

1695
01:41:40.800 --> 01:41:45.040
And I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna align or partner with anything that you have to say.

1696
01:41:45.200 --> 01:41:51.680
Or partner with anything that you have to say is of no value to me. This is who I am.

1697
01:41:51.680 --> 01:41:55.680
And then you want to say the things that you are, that are truth, the things that are life,

1698
01:41:55.680 --> 01:42:00.960
the things that are, you know, full of joy and, you know, hope and peace and all those

1699
01:42:00.960 --> 01:42:05.120
kinds of statements that we can find in the word that even some, I read over you all this,

1700
01:42:05.120 --> 01:42:11.760
this evening, you know, get in, get into the word and really find some, some scriptures that,

1701
01:42:11.760 --> 01:42:17.360
that really minister to you and help you declare who you are. That's good.

1702
01:42:18.800 --> 01:42:25.440
Okay. Thank you for sharing. I hope you feel better. Karen Rios, go ahead.

1703
01:42:28.480 --> 01:42:32.400
Good evening. And thank you so much for taking this. And I want to say the breakout rooms,

1704
01:42:32.400 --> 01:42:38.960
both of them were amazing. And I wanted to also pick up because one of the lies I have two eyes,

1705
01:42:38.960 --> 01:42:44.480
but one of them is actually a continuation of last week's. And I wanted to let you know that

1706
01:42:44.480 --> 01:42:49.280
when you said, choose me, I'm not sure if you went back and read my comment, but what God had

1707
01:42:49.280 --> 01:42:55.760
showed me was that in my relationships, I have actually denied my own principles, standards,

1708
01:42:55.760 --> 01:43:04.880
and values for other people. So it's a kind of putting myself last, but it's also not standing

1709
01:43:04.880 --> 01:43:11.200
up for God and ways that I should have stood up for him and those relationships. And so that was,

1710
01:43:11.200 --> 01:43:14.800
yeah, that was, that was where, when you said, choose me, I think it was,

1711
01:43:14.800 --> 01:43:23.040
it was also me choosing God or the, the, my identity in Christ. So the very first squatter

1712
01:43:23.040 --> 01:43:32.880
that actually needs to be kicked out is that I am not that I am, I, I need to, I don't want to be

1713
01:43:32.880 --> 01:43:38.240
loved, or I don't believe that I will be loved if somebody is, if it's just about me. So in other

1714
01:43:38.240 --> 01:43:43.760
words, it's not about what I do, who I don't believe that I'll be loved for who I am,

1715
01:43:44.480 --> 01:43:53.520
not the sum of what I do and what, what is everything else, like every other component,

1716
01:43:53.520 --> 01:44:00.000
as opposed to just who I am. So that's the first lie. And the second lie was really interesting.

1717
01:44:00.000 --> 01:44:04.400
It was going through the book this week and realizing that one of the wounds that I have

1718
01:44:05.600 --> 01:44:10.080
is not believing that men are trustworthy. And I shared this in my other breakout session.

1719
01:44:11.600 --> 01:44:20.080
I come from two grandfathers who both were in extramarital affairs. So one manifested itself

1720
01:44:20.080 --> 01:44:28.160
when my father was passing away about 15 years ago, where I have an aunt who I don't know.

1721
01:44:29.120 --> 01:44:34.240
And she came to visit my father in the hospital right before he passed away,

1722
01:44:34.240 --> 01:44:41.120
but came at a time where we were not there. And so we found out about her as, you know,

1723
01:44:41.120 --> 01:44:46.880
as he was passing. But I think there's a wound there just because there's a part of my family

1724
01:44:46.880 --> 01:44:52.240
who's really close to me, who I may never know who she is. And I know that I'm going to have to

1725
01:44:52.240 --> 01:44:59.440
probably go through that process of healing that. And also forgiving my grandfather because

1726
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:05.000
Um, my grandmother during, we watched my grandmother turn into somebody who was

1727
01:45:05.000 --> 01:45:08.200
very, very bitter towards the end of her life and we never knew why.

1728
01:45:08.760 --> 01:45:13.080
And so that put a lot of, the pieces kind of came together when

1729
01:45:13.080 --> 01:45:14.760
my father was passing away.

1730
01:45:15.480 --> 01:45:20.400
Um, but I think that I don't want that to be, um, what colors

1731
01:45:20.400 --> 01:45:22.880
relationships going forward with men.

1732
01:45:22.880 --> 01:45:29.060
I think it probably has been, um, something in the past, but I'm ready

1733
01:45:29.060 --> 01:45:31.300
to really just uproot that one and get it on.

1734
01:45:32.020 --> 01:45:32.580
Yes.

1735
01:45:32.620 --> 01:45:33.300
I love it.

1736
01:45:33.700 --> 01:45:34.020
Yes.

1737
01:45:34.020 --> 01:45:35.580
Let's do some uprooting this week.

1738
01:45:35.580 --> 01:45:37.260
You all let's kick this stuff out.

1739
01:45:37.700 --> 01:45:41.260
And, um, I love that you already recognize the forgiveness that

1740
01:45:41.260 --> 01:45:42.740
needs to take place there.

1741
01:45:42.780 --> 01:45:43.580
A hundred percent.

1742
01:45:43.620 --> 01:45:44.700
I think that's true.

1743
01:45:45.220 --> 01:45:46.900
Um, and.

1744
01:45:48.420 --> 01:45:55.980
Um, I would encourage you to pray and ask the Lord to show you, um, trust.

1745
01:45:56.940 --> 01:45:57.460
Oh my gosh.

1746
01:45:57.660 --> 01:46:00.380
Trustworthy men that are already around you.

1747
01:46:01.540 --> 01:46:01.980
Okay.

1748
01:46:02.580 --> 01:46:06.460
Um, as well as bringing other men, they can even be brothers in Christ.

1749
01:46:06.460 --> 01:46:10.900
It doesn't have to be a romantic thing to show you like trustworthiness in front

1750
01:46:10.900 --> 01:46:12.460
of you, where you can see it displayed.

1751
01:46:13.180 --> 01:46:16.660
Um, and you might start recognizing people that are already in your life,

1752
01:46:16.660 --> 01:46:19.260
you know, things like that too, but I believe the Lord wants to

1753
01:46:19.260 --> 01:46:20.780
start showing you that more.

1754
01:46:21.180 --> 01:46:26.380
And then, um, one question I had for you, um, on the, I don't believe that I will

1755
01:46:26.380 --> 01:46:29.740
be loved for who I am, you know, apart from anything you can do or anything.

1756
01:46:30.180 --> 01:46:38.460
Um, have you felt like in the past, like growing up that people were

1757
01:46:38.460 --> 01:46:40.300
trying to get things from you?

1758
01:46:42.380 --> 01:46:42.780
Yeah.

1759
01:46:42.940 --> 01:46:43.380
Yeah.

1760
01:46:43.500 --> 01:46:43.780
Yeah.

1761
01:46:43.780 --> 01:46:45.500
I'm a, I'm a first child.

1762
01:46:45.540 --> 01:46:48.740
And so, um, there was always a lot of responsibility.

1763
01:46:49.620 --> 01:46:52.540
Um, you know, and then I was also an overachiever.

1764
01:46:52.620 --> 01:46:56.580
And so there was always a transactional, it seemed like there were always

1765
01:46:56.580 --> 01:47:00.380
transactional situations where yes.

1766
01:47:00.980 --> 01:47:01.340
Okay.

1767
01:47:01.900 --> 01:47:05.100
And so that's why that's a lie that's standing out for you.

1768
01:47:05.140 --> 01:47:07.700
And so with that, I want to encourage you.

1769
01:47:07.700 --> 01:47:13.260
So like, when I think about transactional, anything there's, it's not that we don't

1770
01:47:13.260 --> 01:47:15.180
want to connect, but we don't.

1771
01:47:15.660 --> 01:47:20.820
Um, subconsciously give ourselves permission to connect or we're afraid to.

1772
01:47:22.100 --> 01:47:22.540
Okay.

1773
01:47:23.100 --> 01:47:27.740
And so I want you to ask the Lord, like, when is the first time that you

1774
01:47:27.740 --> 01:47:30.820
experienced like a transactional relationship?

1775
01:47:33.300 --> 01:47:37.500
Because that needs to heal so that you can start to have a more

1776
01:47:37.500 --> 01:47:39.940
connection type of relationship.

1777
01:47:39.940 --> 01:47:40.860
Does that make sense?

1778
01:47:40.860 --> 01:47:45.100
Where there's deeper, deeper levels of connection.

1779
01:47:45.380 --> 01:47:50.300
You know, it makes me think of the phrase too, like intimacy is in to me.

1780
01:47:50.300 --> 01:47:55.860
See, but so many times, some of us are afraid to actually let people see into

1781
01:47:55.860 --> 01:48:04.220
us because we're afraid that they won't love us the, the dark parts, the ugly

1782
01:48:04.220 --> 01:48:07.860
parts, the great part, like, you know, we're, we're just, we're afraid of that.

1783
01:48:08.060 --> 01:48:09.860
And so I want to encourage you in those areas.

1784
01:48:09.860 --> 01:48:11.860
I think that'll be a huge help to you.

1785
01:48:12.140 --> 01:48:13.060
I did respond.

1786
01:48:13.060 --> 01:48:17.500
I know to one of the first messages back, but, um, if I missed a second

1787
01:48:17.500 --> 01:48:18.620
one, I'll go back and check that.

1788
01:48:18.620 --> 01:48:21.620
But, um, thank you for sharing that tonight, ladies.

1789
01:48:21.620 --> 01:48:22.900
This has been great.

1790
01:48:23.180 --> 01:48:24.860
I've loved being here with all of you.

1791
01:48:24.860 --> 01:48:26.100
Let me pray us out.

1792
01:48:26.500 --> 01:48:29.380
Uh, look forward to seeing you on the group this week as well.

1793
01:48:29.420 --> 01:48:31.660
Father, thank you so much for everything that you've

1794
01:48:31.660 --> 01:48:33.460
accomplished in us already tonight.

1795
01:48:33.700 --> 01:48:36.420
We thank you for the revealings for healing that are happening.

1796
01:48:37.460 --> 01:48:39.540
God, we're asking for a supernatural work.

1797
01:48:39.540 --> 01:48:41.020
God, you're the great physician.

1798
01:48:41.020 --> 01:48:42.340
Nothing's too hard for you.

1799
01:48:42.340 --> 01:48:46.220
We thank you God that you will just even come in their sleep and, and do

1800
01:48:46.220 --> 01:48:49.900
surgery supernaturally, that some of them will go to sleep and wake up and

1801
01:48:49.900 --> 01:48:53.700
just feel like things are lifted off of them, God, we thank you that you

1802
01:48:53.700 --> 01:48:57.940
would place the balm of Gilead upon every wound, every sore, every pain

1803
01:48:57.940 --> 01:49:03.020
point, God, and bring peace, bring healing, bring wholeness, God, we

1804
01:49:03.020 --> 01:49:06.020
thank you that all of the broken shattered pieces, God, that you're a

1805
01:49:06.020 --> 01:49:10.700
God that loves us so much that you're gathering those pieces, God, in your

1806
01:49:10.700 --> 01:49:15.100
hands and, and like a gentle father, you're just starting to mold them back

1807
01:49:15.100 --> 01:49:18.580
together and you're going to make everything brand new, God, that you're

1808
01:49:18.580 --> 01:49:23.420
creating a masterpiece out of every messy, dark area of our hearts and our

1809
01:49:23.420 --> 01:49:23.780
lives.

1810
01:49:23.780 --> 01:49:24.860
And we thank you for it.

1811
01:49:24.860 --> 01:49:25.860
We love you, Lord.

1812
01:49:25.860 --> 01:49:29.060
We're so grateful for the good father that you are Jesus.

1813
01:49:29.060 --> 01:49:31.180
Thank you for your sacrifice and Holy spirit.

1814
01:49:31.180 --> 01:49:34.980
Thanks for being our comforter, our counselor, our guide for being the

1815
01:49:34.980 --> 01:49:38.900
power that enables us to choose healthy things.

1816
01:49:39.260 --> 01:49:43.140
And we just thank you that you'll help us to take healthy steps all week long

1817
01:49:43.140 --> 01:49:44.220
in Jesus name.

1818
01:49:44.300 --> 01:49:44.940
Amen.

1819
01:49:45.140 --> 01:49:46.100
God bless you all.

1820
01:49:46.100 --> 01:49:47.740
Have a great night, everyone.

1821
01:49:47.820 --> 01:49:48.300
Bye bye.

1822
01:49:48.340 --> 01:49:49.260
Thanks so much.