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Welcome everybody, Rainmaker family.

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Excited to have you in here.

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We got people coming in from the waiting room still.

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We have a very, very special guest today.

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And we love bringing in trainers like this

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to this community to really serve the whole person, right?

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I know me and Chelsea have seen in our life, you know,

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the ups of downs of marriage, right?

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Like you go through the highs, you go through the lows.

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But I believe marriage and entrepreneurship

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are the two most transformational vehicles.

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Oh, and probably parenting, okay?

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Marriage, entrepreneurship, parenting, okay?

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Like if you want to transform in life, get married.

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And it could be for good or for bad, right?

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If you want to like transform life,

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start a business or have kids, right?

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And it's going to put you through the paces,

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but it can be so for you, you know?

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And if you know me and Chelsea's story,

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I let fear get in early on in our relationship.

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I actually called off the wedding

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after sending out the save the dates,

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bad move on Steven's part.

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But I just got fear in there, you know?

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And I wasn't the, you know,

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the mindset guy that you guys know today.

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I was just young, I was 23 and I was freaked out.

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And we had a counselor that honestly gave us,

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she just kind of like stabbed into the fear

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and twisted the knife.

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And she's like, are you guys sure?

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I don't know, should you really get married?

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Like it was just, it was not good.

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And you're going to hear today,

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probably our guest's opinion on that type of counselor,

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but it really threw us off.

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Like it really threw us off and it almost broke us up,

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you know?

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And in that season of kind of the valley, right?

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It's not what you learn at the mountain toss,

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but it's what you learn in the valleys

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that really give you the strength

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to climb the next mountain.

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And it was in that valley that we actually leaned in,

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you know, and we actually had the hard conversation.

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We actually asked the questions we were afraid to ask

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and what we created in that season.

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Three months later, we actually,

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three months later after the date

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we originally were supposed to get married,

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we actually had our wedding.

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And I cried most of the day

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because it was so like powerful what happened

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in that in-between, you know?

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And these in-betweens,

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whether you're going through it in your business

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or your life or your relationships, they can be for you.

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There's a beautiful squeeze that can happen

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and the juice that comes out is delicious.

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And I know it's hard to hear

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when you're kind of just looking at the facts,

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whether it's in a relationship business

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or maybe parenting, you know?

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Maybe you have a child that's going through some hard stuff.

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And so just know that we hear you, we see you,

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we're for you at Rainmakers,

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and we want to bring in people

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not just to help with the business side,

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but with your whole life.

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And today's guest is a really special guest.

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She's a best-selling author,

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but I think the thing that like I've been most impressed with

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is how many times her name has come up

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in rooms that I've been in, you know?

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Like I've been in masterminds with people

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and they're like, oh yeah,

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we're going through this marriage thing, you know?

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With Stacey and Paul.

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And I just kept hearing this name, Stacey and Paul,

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Stacey and Paul, who are these people?

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And finally we got them on our podcast

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and we were able to get her to come

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and train you guys as well.

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So we're talking about relationships today,

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we're talking about marriage today.

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She wrote a book recently called The Missing Piece.

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Don't go out and grab it just yet, okay?

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Because we have some special stuff for you guys

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if you want it.

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And I highly recommend it.

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But I would say me and Chelsea,

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just like just to edify what you're about to lean into,

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any area of growth we see in our business

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has had to happen in our family first, you know?

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The business often kind of like manifests

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on honestly stuff that's happening deeper down.

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And that stuff, if you really look into it,

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is probably happening in a lot of areas of your life.

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Things that are happening with our kids, we're learning,

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we're gonna have to learn in the business too, right?

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Things that happen in between our marriage,

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we'll learn it there and then boom,

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it'll break through in the business.

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And it's so easy to compartmentalize things and say,

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this is separate from this, but it's not.

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It's not.

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And this is why we wanna love you and serve you

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in this area.

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So with that, I'm gonna bring on Danielle.

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You guys know Danielle.

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And then we're gonna bring on Stacey right after that.

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So get ready, you guys.

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A warm round of applause.

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It's gonna be a good time today.

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Danielle, come on up.

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Woo!

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We all just clap.

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I know we are a remote room,

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but that doesn't mean that we can't bring the energy up

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and we can't clap and get excited.

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You guys, how real was what Steven just said?

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Like, I love Steven's heart for just vulnerability,

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just like jumping into the heart,

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because time is precious and we gotta get to the heart.

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We gotta get going.

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And how many times have you heard Steven and Chelsea say,

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if you have a successful business,

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but your marriage is falling apart,

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is that true success, right?

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How many times have you taken a moment to look at yourself

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and be like, okay, what areas of my life need some shifting?

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My camera needs some shifting because I'm going in and out.

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You guys are overloading the zoom and we love this, but I'm

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Danielle Shaw. I work as a training specialist here. I do

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behind the scenes work. I do some coaching some speaking, and

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I love to host Mindset Monday. And so like Stephen said, Stacy

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is an incredible woman. So I want you to get ready. Okay, I

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want you to position yourself right now from a place of

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receiving for your mind for your heart. Okay, because we don't

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want you to miss the gold that is here for you today. And we

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know this that those who show up that that's part of it. Now

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when you show up how interactive Are you going to be right that

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that's all that's part two. And then part three is how am I

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going to let this sink into my heart and my mind and take

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action. And so this is Stacy's first time in our community. So

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I want her to just walk away from this call being like that

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was the best online remote community place I have ever been

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a part of. And I already have full confidence that that's

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going to be the truth. So I have high just hope and excitement

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for what is in store for you guys today. And I'm really quick

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we don't have any other coaching calls this week. So just be

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reminded, push into the other resources we have here and we

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will see you all next Monday. But without further ado, can we

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just like blow this chat up with so much love for Stacey

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Martino.

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Everybody. Awesome. I'm so excited to be here with you.

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How's everybody doing today? Go ahead and post in the chat.

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Super excited to join you. Yeah, I love it. I love it. I'm seeing

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it. I'm for it. Awesome. Awesome. I love it. Great to see

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everybody. And of course, thank you, Stephen. Thank you,

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Danielle. Hopefully you guys can see my screen at the same time

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that you're seeing me because I have a lot for this class today.

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Everybody see my screen? Give me a thumbs up or a yes. All good.

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Fantastic. Thanks for that, Mildred. I appreciate it. All

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right. So we're gonna dive in today and I brought a lot. If

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you learn something about me today, hopefully you'll learn

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that I try to stuff as much into a class as I possibly can. I'm

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like a teacher and a mentor at heart and I just want to make

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sure that I deliver and share as much as I can with you all

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today. So open a journal, get a pen, be ready to take some notes

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and be ready to dive in because what I came to talk to you about

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today is really about how to get the peace, harmony, support

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and connection you want and deserve in your marriage, in

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your parenting, in your business, without needing anyone

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else's permission and participation. And I know that

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sounds like a lofty promise, but it's not just possible. It's

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actually already done. And like Stephen and Danielle, we're just

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saying, why are we talking about this on Mindset Monday? Because

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if we want to grow our business, but there's some kerfuffles with

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our partner not being supportive or doesn't get it,

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like then that's miserable for us. And now we're in

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stagnation. If we're doing this to create a better life for our

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kids, but they're still yelling and nagging and policing and

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silences, are we really giving them the life we dreamed of for

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them and for us? Like, I'm here to do this class for you today

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because I already know you have the best of intentions for being

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the best you can in business, in your marriage, with your

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kids, with your folks, with your friends. There's no question

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about it because you're part of this group. Obviously, you have

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the best of intentions. Obviously, your heart is all in.

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And there's been a big piece missing in what you knew about

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this relationship stuff. And it's not your fault. And I'm

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here to give you the piece that you've been missing. I'm here to

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empower you in your life so that you can be empowered in

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your business. Sound good, everybody? Up for it? Here for

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it? In? Yes, yes, yes. I love it. Okay, fantastic. Oh,

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there's like new chat messages and I wasn't seeing them. Now I

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see it. Fantastic. Awesome. So like, just so you like give you

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some reassurance who I am, why you might be interested in what

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I'm going to share today. I am Stacy Martino.

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founder of relationshipdevelopment.org. My husband Paul and I have invented the

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relationship development methodology. We've been doing this for over 14 years. We have helped

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thousands and thousands, hundreds of thousands of people to transform marriages, parenting,

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workplace, families, all by working with one individual student. We have been blessed to be

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featured by so many people and on media outlets. We were on Roku TV, Apple TV, ABC, NBC, CBS,

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and now our new book, The Missing Piece, is available everywhere from Hay House Publishing.

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Paul and I are known as the how people. Our solutions show people how to get the results

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that they want in any relationship. Not just that you should be able to get the results,

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but how to do that. While many studies today show that the average divorce rate in the U.S. is about

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50% for first marriages, higher for second and beyond, in a six-year study of our student

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results, the students in our relationship program had just a 1% divorce rate. And that is unheard of,

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and that's because our methodology works. Now we're finally sharing our norm-shattering method

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with the whole world, with our book, The Missing Piece, and don't order it while I'm teaching today.

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I mean, you can, but if you stay to the end of class today, I will give you a special link so

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that you can get our book for free, and we will send you the book, literally the book,

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right to your door, okay? So that we'll be focused for class. All good? Cool? Yes, this is, we're a

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mission-driven organization. This is what we do. We want you to have these solutions, so we're just

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going to give it to you. All right, let's dive in. So you are so welcome, and thank you for being here,

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because we cannot achieve our mission of making sure that every parent in the world gets these

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solutions into their hands unless you show up. So God bless you for showing up today. I love it.

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All right, so what if you could be free of the stress, anxiety, upsets, and loneliness when

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interacting with other people at home, at work, anywhere, right? So maybe do you want to feel more

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supported in those areas? Maybe you want more connection and less loneliness. Do you want the

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confidence to handle any conversation with someone without it erupting into a fight or a conflict?

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Maybe you want to magnetize people to you in life and in business, or perhaps you want less

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kerfuffle and more peaceful cooperation. Imagine the advantage you would have as the best

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communicator in any room. Maybe it would be helpful to have more positive influence at home and at

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work, and if you're like me and so many others, maybe you want less drama and more cooperation

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from your team or co-workers. Those results are not just possible, they're proven. Our students enjoy

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those results daily in marriage, in parenting, at work, and here's what I want to share with you.

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So many of us spend our time and our investment on building our business, getting better at our craft,

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but at the end of the day, most of us do what we do to make a better life for our kids,

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to have the life that we dreamed of for our family, to experience it fully. Well, when your

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relationship causes stress, when the relationships all around you are causing stress, everything is

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impacted, right? Like I'm sure many of you here have had the experience of having a kerfuffle or an

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upset with your spouse or one of your kids, and then you're worried about how that's going to

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affect you as you head into work or get on that next call, or worry about what your kids

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are overhearing, or if the yelling between you and your kid is impacting them the next day.

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Our interactions with other people impact every aspect of our lives and theirs. Well,

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I'll tell you that it's not your fault. It's not really about the other person either, and what

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I'm going to show you today is something that you haven't seen before, but you deserve to know. So,

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let's start with an exercise. Everybody have your journal and a pen? Awesome, and you could probably

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do this one in your head if you needed to. All right, in the last three days, can you think of

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a kerfuffle, an upset, a stress, or a worry that you had with another person? Like maybe telling

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your kid to do something again and it not getting done, or maybe something with your spouse, an

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argument, an unsupportive comment, or silence, or maybe a situation with a co-worker, or a team

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member, or a family member that you can't have a peaceful conversation with anything. Can you think

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of one? Just go ahead and put. Yes, this is usually the response that I get. People are like,

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how many just from today? I get it. Interacting with other humans can be tricky. All right,

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but do you have one in your mind? Yes, fantastic.

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Awesome, so good, great, you guys are doing great already.

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All right, for that kerfuffle,

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Doc, I want you to write this down in your journal.

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What did they say or do that was unwanted for you?

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Right, meaning what was the thing that

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if they had not said it or not done,

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it would have been so much better, right?

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What was that unwanted or negative experience that you had?

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What was it that they said

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that made you feel upset or angry?

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Just write that down, like in a few words.

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What was the unwanted part?

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Okay, now for the same situation,

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what would you have preferred?

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Like, what would you have preferred that they did

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or said in that instance and said?

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Like, if they had just done or said this,

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gosh, it would have been so much easier, so much better,

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more of what you needed, how it should be done, right?

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Perhaps the unwanted was don't talk back like that

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and the preferred was just get it done and cooperate, right?

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So what was the preferred for that situation for you?

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Did you write that down?

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Everybody good?

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Awesome, excellent.

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Okay, well, what you've just done

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is actually an important step forward.

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You've captured the unwanted

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and you've clarified the preferred.

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Make sense so far, everybody tracking with me?

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So I'm guessing that if I asked you to sit down

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and list out the unwanted and preferred combinations

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for everyday things with your spouse, kids, coworkers,

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family members, clients, whatever,

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you could probably create a list, yes?

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This is something that you know, yes?

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Okay, fantastic.

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And I'm guessing that you've tried.

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You've tried to get people to do what needs to be done,

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to say or do things in a better way, right?

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You've tried to get them to do more preferred

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and less unwanted, right?

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You've tried asking, encouraging, making little jokes,

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hoping they would take the hint.

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You've tried pleasing, compromising and all the things.

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Yes, you have tried things.

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And when that didn't work, you've tried other ways.

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Like when you need your kid to behave in the store

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and you promise them something they want

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when you leave if they just behave now, right?

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But that stuff doesn't always work

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or eventually it stops working as they tune out.

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And it's the same with the spouse, the coworkers

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and other people too.

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Now, unfortunately, that often leaves someone feeling

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bad about themselves or feeling like they're failing

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maybe as a mom, as a wife, as a human,

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or just feeling sad, stuck, frustrated,

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alone, unsupported, most of all exhausted.

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And I'm here to tell you, it's not your fault.

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You are not at fault and there's nothing wrong with you.

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Listen to me, for thousands of years,

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humans have interacted with each other

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in a one specific way that has actually left us

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with this result.

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And this old way of human interaction

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does not work in today's world.

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So unlike what everyone else out there is telling you,

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I'm here to show you that there's nothing wrong with you.

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There's nothing wrong with them.

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And there's nothing uniquely wrong

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with the two of you together.

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Now, I know you might be thinking,

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oh, Stacey, but you don't know what I'm dealing with.

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So Paul and I have actually worked with thousands

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and thousands of students from all over the world.

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For over 14 years, we have navigated pretty much

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every situation you can probably imagine

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and many that you could never, ever, ever imagine.

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And in all that time, we have never been stumped.

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No one has ever brought us a relationship dynamic

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or issue or challenge that our method

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and the tools that we've built could not solve.

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And so I'm telling you, you are not the problem.

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They are not the problem.

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And the two of you together are not the problem.

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There's been a huge piece missing

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in what we knew about human relationships,

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hence the title of our book.

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And I'm gonna show you the dynamic

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of how human interaction does work

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and the solution to get results.

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So let's jump in.

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How many of you guys know this guy?

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Anyone?

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Anyone know who this is?

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Go ahead and post it in the chat.

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I know some of you are dog lovers out there.

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And you know, yes, the dog whisperer, Cesar Millan.

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I love Cesar.

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When I was in my 20s, I had purchased my first house.

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By the way, that is my husband 30 plus years ago.

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Look at all that hair.

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God bless him.

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I love him.

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And that was our tiny little puppy.

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There she is in Paul's lap.

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That was my dream was to.

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by my own home. I was in my 20s. I was a young girl. I'm in my 50s now. That was a long time

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ago. You can tell it's the 90s. Look at all the CDs behind Paul and look at the size of the phone

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on his belt. And that was our little girl. In fact, she was almost as big as that phone when

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we first brought her home. And I love this puppy with all my heart. And for any of you who have had

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a puppy like that, within what felt like a few weeks, this little puppy looked like this.

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And she was dragging me all around the neighborhood. That's when I started watching

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Caesar nonstop. And long story short, I learned that my dog wasn't the one who needed the training.

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Right? I did. I was a very, as you can kind of see, I'm a little bit excitable. I'm a little

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bit hyper. I'm a high energy lady. And I was getting very excited and putting all of that

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energy into getting out there for a walk with my dog. And when I brought that hyper energy,

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she reacted with that hyper energy. And what I learned from Caesar, right, is that I had to change

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my energy to what he calls my calm and confident energy. And then she shifted into a calm and

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responsive dog. And that is a great example of what I'm going to teach you is the closed loop

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of relationship. Right? When I put my hyper and excited energy into the loop,

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the boomerang back was a wild and crazy dog pulling me all over the neighborhood.

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When I change what I put into the loop, when I put my calm, confident energy into the loop,

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the boomerang back was a calm and responsive dog. It's a predictable pattern with a predictable

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outcome. It's going to be the same pattern tomorrow and the next day. And that is because

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all relationship is a closed loop. When you interact with an, and this works for humans too,

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Caesar is onto it for dogs, but this works for humans. When you interact with another human,

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one person puts something into the loop. We refer to that as a trigger.

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And the other person sends a boomerang back out of the loop. These are predictable patterns with

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predictable outcomes. For example, if you're talking to someone and they roll their eyes at

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you, you have a reaction. Yes. No one has to tell you to have that reaction. You don't have to think

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it through. You have a reaction. Whereas if you're talking to someone and they nod and they smile at

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you, you have a reaction. Yes. Let me ask you this. Is it the same reaction you have as the eye

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roll? Yes or no? Yes or no? No. Right. And that's a predictable pattern with a predictable outcome.

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So what you've just experienced is that when you change what you put into the loop,

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you change what comes out. Yes. Everybody tracking with me? Okay. I'll give you an example.

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Have you been in this situation where someone asks you to do something for them that you don't

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really want to do, but you end up saying yes anyway, because maybe it'll just be easier.

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You feel like it's the right thing to do. You just want to get them to shut up and stop asking you

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like whatever it is you say. Yes. Even though you didn't really want to do it. Everyone has been

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in this situation. Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay. So you agreed to do something you don't really want to do.

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You bend over backwards and I'm guessing you have been in this awful experience of

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they're not happy anyway. You just did it to make them happy and they're not happy anyway.

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Right. Maybe it's one of your folks or it's someone that you're friends with, or if some,

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it could be your spouse, could be one of your kids. You only said yes to avoid a kerfuffle

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and in the end it was still a fight or they were unhappy anyway. And you have had this experience

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because you have been on planet earth for a little while. And in that moment, what did you feel?

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You felt some flavor of resentment, right? Because by definition, you said yes to something you

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didn't really want to say yes to just to make them happy. They still weren't happy. And that's

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kind of the definition of resentment, right? Some flavor of resentment. Yes. Fantastic.

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Awesome. Not appreciated. All of that. Fantastic. Awesome. And that is because this is a closed loop.

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When you put pleasing into the loop, resentment is the boomerang that comes back to you.

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It's a predictable pattern with a predictable outcome. It's just that for most humans,

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the loop has been invisible up until now. So here's what I want.

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to get. When the loop remains invisible, you just keep putting pleasing into the loop with people

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thinking, oh, this is going to make it so much better. I'm going to do this today. This is going

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to be better. They're going to be so happy. And then you're blindsided that it didn't work out

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and you end up feeling crappy, right? That's because the loop was invisible. So you keep

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putting pleasing into the loop and getting some kind of unpleasant outcome. As long as the loop

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remains invisible, you are going to keep getting unpleasantly surprised by these boomerangs.

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Once you see the loop, you can make a choice. So back when I was young and I first got our dog

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Putty, these loops were all invisible to me. So it just looked like she was being a wild

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and crazy dog. No matter how much I yelled, I bribed her with treats, she was wild. Because

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when the loop is invisible to you, all you experience is the boomerang. When you can't

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see the loop, it looks like their actions just came out of nowhere. She just rolled her eyes

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at me. He was a total jerk for no reason. These loops have been invisible to you and most everyone

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else. But if you rewind the tape, I can show you where you unknowingly poked the bear. I can give

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you the predictable pattern loop so that you know the trigger boomerang combination before

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you head into the situation. Why is this so powerful? Well, let me ask you this. If I gave

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you these two loops where trigger A creates an unwanted boomerang A and trigger B creates the

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wanted boomerang B, which trigger are you going to put into the loop? A or B? Go ahead and post

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in the chat. Tell me. Yes, fantastic. B, right? When you finally get visibility into these loops,

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you have the power to pre-select the reaction you want by putting the coordinating trigger

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into the loop. And you have the power to stop the boomerangs you do not want

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by not putting those triggers unknowingly into the loop. Here's the principle. All human

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relationships are a closed loop. And when you change what you put in, you change what you get out.

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Here's another principle for you. People are not acting towards you. They are re-acting to you.

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This is why Paul and I always say there's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with them.

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There's nothing wrong with the two of you together. I know you're showing up with the best of

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intentions. You're saying or doing what you think is the right thing to do. I know you are.

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And there's been a huge piece missing in what we knew about human interactions.

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So, how did I figure this out? And what has been the missing piece I'm going to show you now?

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I made a huge accidental discovery over 25 years ago. At first, I was just working with

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dozens of students. Then it became hundreds of students. Then thousands and thousands of students.

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And I began to see the patterns over and over and over again. We have been handed an old and

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broken relationship dynamic from old generations. And in today's world, this old dynamic is breaking

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down relationships, ending marriages, breaking rapport, and increasing kerfuffles. First,

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let me explain the old broken relationship paradigm that you see everywhere. Paul and I

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call this demand relationship. Demand relationship is what we default to when we don't have visibility

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of the loops. Demand relationship is where you say to your partner, I'm not really happy with

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this. You need to change that. Or I don't like that tone. Don't use that tone with me. Demand

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relationship is when you tell other people what they need to do or change to make you happy.

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Demand relationship is also when we do things we do not want to do just to make someone else happy

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or avoid something unpleasant. So the demand relationship paradigm is where you use tactics

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like pleasing, compromise, blame, punishing, withholding, guilt, shame, nagging, pushing,

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manipulation to try to get others to do what we need done or change what they do or say so that

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we can be happy, comfortable, calm even. Look at the demand relationship tactics on the red side of our chart.

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answer this for yourself. Do those tactics lead to a supportive, loving, and

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happy outcome for you and the other person? Think about it this way. Do you

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love it when people use those tactics on you? Do you love them more for blaming

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you, shaming you, judging you, dominating you? No! And yet even with the best of

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intentions, we don't even realize we are using these tactics in our human-to-human

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relationships because demand relationship is all that's been modeled

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to most of us for our entire lives. Now there's another way to do

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relationships, thank goodness. Paul and I created Relationship Development to

458
00:30:45.520 --> 00:30:50.880
empower our students to interact with others in a way that builds up

459
00:30:50.880 --> 00:30:56.200
relationships in today's world. Relationship Development allows you to

460
00:30:56.200 --> 00:31:02.520
be genuinely happy yourself and have the skill sets to be happy with the other

461
00:31:02.520 --> 00:31:07.040
people you're in relationship with so that you can relate in a way that builds

462
00:31:07.040 --> 00:31:11.840
up your relationships instead of breaking them down. So let's look at the

463
00:31:11.840 --> 00:31:15.720
Relationship Development side of our chart. On our chart, you can see the

464
00:31:15.720 --> 00:31:20.320
Relationship Development alternative to each of the demand relationship tactics.

465
00:31:20.320 --> 00:31:24.680
Now look at some of the skill sets on the Relationship Development side of

466
00:31:24.680 --> 00:31:30.600
that chart. When people interact with you with compassion, heartfelt understanding,

467
00:31:30.600 --> 00:31:36.080
appreciation, does that build up your relationship with them or break it down?

468
00:31:36.080 --> 00:31:42.600
It builds it up, right? When someone takes personal responsibility, builds rapport

469
00:31:42.600 --> 00:31:48.000
with you, focuses on unity, does that build up your relationship with them or

470
00:31:48.120 --> 00:31:56.400
break it down? It builds it up. Here's the principle. Successful relationship is

471
00:31:56.400 --> 00:32:03.280
a skill set and it can be learned. It has nothing to do with being lucky and

472
00:32:03.280 --> 00:32:06.800
finding the right person. It's not about picking a person who has the perfect

473
00:32:06.800 --> 00:32:10.400
personality for you or the right personality or worrying that maybe this

474
00:32:10.400 --> 00:32:16.080
person you're with is just too different. It's not about you or the other person.

475
00:32:16.120 --> 00:32:22.040
Relationship is a skill set. In my experience, most people want to show up

476
00:32:22.040 --> 00:32:25.920
from Relationship Development in their relationships. They want to have the

477
00:32:25.920 --> 00:32:30.040
skills to show up with heartfelt understanding, building rapport, creating

478
00:32:30.040 --> 00:32:35.160
influence, having compassion for others and working towards unity in our family

479
00:32:35.160 --> 00:32:40.480
and our workplace. Most people want to inspire people to be their best selves

480
00:32:40.640 --> 00:32:45.560
and they have the positive intention of showing up this way. But when they run to

481
00:32:45.560 --> 00:32:52.600
the end of their skill set for how to show up in this way in real-life moments,

482
00:32:52.600 --> 00:32:57.400
they slide back into old demand relationship tactics that have been

483
00:32:57.400 --> 00:33:05.520
handed down to us. The problem with the old way is this is not love. Those

484
00:33:05.520 --> 00:33:10.880
tactics on the red side of the chart do not lead to a loving, connected, supported,

485
00:33:10.880 --> 00:33:15.520
trusting, thriving relationship. And yet, how many times are we showing up in our

486
00:33:15.520 --> 00:33:20.400
relationships that are supposed to be about love from the red side of that

487
00:33:20.400 --> 00:33:27.160
chart? That is why Paul and I always say you are either building up or breaking

488
00:33:27.160 --> 00:33:32.400
down your relationships in the little moments of your day, depending on which

489
00:33:32.400 --> 00:33:39.960
side of the chart you are showing up on. Here's the closed loop. When you put

490
00:33:39.960 --> 00:33:45.240
demand relationship into the loop, the boomerang back is it breaks down the

491
00:33:45.240 --> 00:33:50.080
relationship. When you put relationship development into the loop, the boomerang

492
00:33:50.080 --> 00:33:57.360
back is it builds up the relationships. How relationships break down is not an

493
00:33:57.360 --> 00:34:04.360
accident or a mystery anymore. And how to transform them and build them up is no

494
00:34:04.360 --> 00:34:10.560
longer outside of your reach. This is your empowerment. You can change what

495
00:34:10.560 --> 00:34:15.199
you're putting into the loop and change the boomerang that comes back to you. The

496
00:34:15.199 --> 00:34:20.440
world is not the same as it was a hundred years ago, even 50 years ago. When

497
00:34:20.440 --> 00:34:24.960
I was a kid, let's just say, kids weren't treated all that great and nobody really

498
00:34:24.960 --> 00:34:30.000
thought there was anything wrong with that. Thank God we have evolved so much.

499
00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:36.600
Today we love our kids so much we would sacrifice anything for them and we do.

500
00:34:36.600 --> 00:34:41.760
And we desperately want to have strong relationships with each of them so that

501
00:34:41.880 --> 00:34:46.800
come to us and talk about the big things and not so big things that are going on

502
00:34:46.800 --> 00:34:52.239
in their real lives. Today we only want to stay in relationships where we're

503
00:34:52.239 --> 00:34:59.720
loved, supported, respected, and valued. And yet we are unknowingly using old and

504
00:34:59.720 --> 00:35:02.040
broken

505
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:09.520
tactics from a long time ago that's frankly long gone. Unlike long ago, in today's relationships,

506
00:35:09.520 --> 00:35:18.240
both people are free and equal. And people who feel free and equal do not stay in relationships

507
00:35:18.240 --> 00:35:24.480
where demand relationship is what's going on. They don't stay in jobs where people use those tactics.

508
00:35:24.480 --> 00:35:30.560
They don't stay in marriages where people use those tactics. And it's the same in parenting.

509
00:35:31.120 --> 00:35:37.360
If all that's been done as your child grows up is demand parenting, then as soon as that child

510
00:35:37.360 --> 00:35:42.800
is bigger than you, financially independent from you, or no longer needs to live in your house,

511
00:35:43.360 --> 00:35:49.040
they're out of there. You probably know that because that might be part of what your trajectory

512
00:35:49.040 --> 00:35:56.560
was. And when they leave, you don't have a relationship with them. You just have a loss of

513
00:35:56.560 --> 00:36:03.520
control. You're not the problem. They were not the problem. The two of you together was not the

514
00:36:03.520 --> 00:36:10.960
problem. It's demand relationship going into the loop that has been breaking relationships down

515
00:36:10.960 --> 00:36:18.240
and causing unwanted kerfuffles. The most important thing you can ever learn to change

516
00:36:18.240 --> 00:36:22.960
your experience of life and all of your interactions with other people

517
00:36:23.840 --> 00:36:29.760
is when you put demand relationship into the loop, it breaks down the relationship.

518
00:36:29.760 --> 00:36:35.920
When you put relationship development into the loop, it builds up the relationship and you get

519
00:36:35.920 --> 00:36:42.080
to choose. When it comes to your parenting, your marriage, your work relationships, and other

520
00:36:42.080 --> 00:36:50.240
important relationships, which one do you want? So there's great news in this because we figured

521
00:36:50.240 --> 00:36:56.480
out the solution and we spent the last 14 years building our relationship development method and

522
00:36:56.480 --> 00:37:03.840
hundreds and hundreds of tools for using these skills in real life. They've been used and proven

523
00:37:03.840 --> 00:37:12.960
now by thousands of our students already. Because as I showed you, relationship is a skill set

524
00:37:13.760 --> 00:37:23.440
and it can be learned. And the mind bender is it only takes one person to get the results you want

525
00:37:23.440 --> 00:37:30.880
from any interaction. Now the question Paul and I get asked all the time is how can it possibly only

526
00:37:30.880 --> 00:37:35.520
take one person to transform a relationship? We've heard from everybody it takes two to tango,

527
00:37:35.520 --> 00:37:40.400
you both have to want it, you got to meet me halfway. For decades we've been hearing this crap

528
00:37:40.400 --> 00:37:48.320
that it has to take two people. As difficult as it might be to accept that it only takes one person

529
00:37:48.320 --> 00:37:55.040
to transform any relationship, which is all Paul and I do for 14 years, everything we teach is only

530
00:37:55.040 --> 00:38:02.960
for one person. But as difficult as that might be to accept, the truth is you actually already know

531
00:38:02.960 --> 00:38:10.480
that it only takes one person to change things. Think about it, if you wanted to change your kids

532
00:38:10.480 --> 00:38:14.960
behavior, if you wanted your kids behavior to get better and improve and you picked up a parenting

533
00:38:14.960 --> 00:38:20.720
book to learn something new, you don't sit your three-year-old down and say, listen you better

534
00:38:20.720 --> 00:38:28.160
read this book because your behavior stinks kiddo, right? No, you read the book and it tells you, hey

535
00:38:28.160 --> 00:38:34.880
next time try this when interacting with your child, you do it, your kids behavior changes and you go

536
00:38:34.880 --> 00:38:40.960
back to the book, right? Tell me more. It's actually the same dynamic in marriage, relationship with

537
00:38:40.960 --> 00:38:46.960
co-workers, family members, clients and others, it's just that no one gave you the book of answers

538
00:38:46.960 --> 00:38:54.160
until now. That's why we always say you do not need anyone else's permission or participation,

539
00:38:54.720 --> 00:38:59.840
everything in our method is designed for you, you don't need to convince anyone else to do

540
00:38:59.840 --> 00:39:05.280
this with you to get the results that you want. Remember when I told you that it wasn't you

541
00:39:05.280 --> 00:39:11.680
or them or the two of you together, this is what I'm talking about. The reason relationships are

542
00:39:11.760 --> 00:39:17.360
failing at epic rates is because without the skill set of relationship development,

543
00:39:18.000 --> 00:39:23.600
we are unknowingly perpetuating the old broken tactics of demand relationship

544
00:39:23.600 --> 00:39:29.440
in the little moments of our day, breaking down our relationships as the resentments, pains

545
00:39:29.440 --> 00:39:36.160
and distance stack up over the years until one person gives up. But there is a solution, we have

546
00:39:36.160 --> 00:39:44.400
cracked the code on human relationships, giving you the how for how to be happy yourself, yes,

547
00:39:44.400 --> 00:39:52.080
and also be able to be happy with others that you're in relationship with so you can have peace,

548
00:39:52.640 --> 00:39:59.920
harmony, support, connection, influence, trust, cooperation and love without the drama, the upset.

549
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.420
That's the loneliness, the nagging, the begging,

550
00:40:02.420 --> 00:40:03.780
the pleasing, the compromise,

551
00:40:03.780 --> 00:40:06.580
and without needing anyone else's permission

552
00:40:06.580 --> 00:40:08.780
or participation.

553
00:40:08.780 --> 00:40:11.480
So it's four core things,

554
00:40:11.480 --> 00:40:13.940
and I'm gonna give you these four core things

555
00:40:13.940 --> 00:40:16.020
and show you how you can do this.

556
00:40:16.020 --> 00:40:18.220
The first is to get visibility

557
00:40:18.220 --> 00:40:20.220
into the predictable pattern loops

558
00:40:20.220 --> 00:40:23.900
so you know the trigger and boomerang combinations.

559
00:40:23.900 --> 00:40:26.440
Remember I showed you a couple of those today.

560
00:40:26.440 --> 00:40:29.500
There are hundreds of these that we've mapped out

561
00:40:29.500 --> 00:40:31.820
and you need to have visibility into them.

562
00:40:31.820 --> 00:40:34.620
The second piece is the skillsets

563
00:40:34.620 --> 00:40:38.040
to stop sliding into demand relationship

564
00:40:38.040 --> 00:40:40.180
and be able to do relationship development

565
00:40:40.180 --> 00:40:43.500
instead in real life, living it in real life.

566
00:40:43.500 --> 00:40:46.380
The third is the bridges to solve

567
00:40:46.380 --> 00:40:48.300
the masculine and feminine,

568
00:40:48.300 --> 00:40:50.020
the kerfuffles that masculine, feminine

569
00:40:50.020 --> 00:40:52.340
wiring differences create.

570
00:40:52.340 --> 00:40:54.180
Now, we didn't get to this in this class.

571
00:40:54.180 --> 00:40:55.160
We can do it in another,

572
00:40:55.160 --> 00:40:57.940
but masculine and feminine beings

573
00:40:57.940 --> 00:41:00.620
are wired completely differently.

574
00:41:00.620 --> 00:41:03.420
And actually in the experience that Paul and I have had

575
00:41:03.420 --> 00:41:06.660
over 14 years working with countless people,

576
00:41:06.660 --> 00:41:11.660
about half of all kerfuffles that every couple is having

577
00:41:11.900 --> 00:41:14.620
are actually caused by masculine, feminine

578
00:41:14.620 --> 00:41:18.100
wiring differences that we were just never taught.

579
00:41:18.100 --> 00:41:19.780
About half.

580
00:41:19.780 --> 00:41:21.740
And that applies to mothers and sons,

581
00:41:21.740 --> 00:41:25.180
fathers and daughters, family members, coworkers.

582
00:41:25.180 --> 00:41:28.700
Everyone is experiencing unnecessary upsets

583
00:41:28.700 --> 00:41:31.800
from the masculine, feminine wiring differences.

584
00:41:32.980 --> 00:41:36.500
And the fourth piece is the skills to solve

585
00:41:36.500 --> 00:41:38.480
the what Paul and I call the bricks

586
00:41:38.480 --> 00:41:40.100
that have built up in the wall between you.

587
00:41:40.100 --> 00:41:41.780
When you're in a long-term relationship,

588
00:41:41.780 --> 00:41:44.120
it's different than a short-term relationship.

589
00:41:44.120 --> 00:41:45.820
In a long-term relationship,

590
00:41:45.820 --> 00:41:50.460
when you have unsolved hurts, disappointments and upsets,

591
00:41:50.460 --> 00:41:53.500
it's like putting a brick in the wall between you.

592
00:41:53.500 --> 00:41:55.500
And those bricks build up over time

593
00:41:55.500 --> 00:41:58.300
until you feel like you can't see or feel

594
00:41:58.300 --> 00:42:00.200
the person on the other side.

595
00:42:00.200 --> 00:42:03.700
And when you don't have the skills to take that down,

596
00:42:03.700 --> 00:42:05.820
that's often when people give up.

597
00:42:05.820 --> 00:42:09.820
When you have the solutions, that's what we do,

598
00:42:09.820 --> 00:42:12.560
to not only solve and take down those bricks,

599
00:42:12.560 --> 00:42:14.940
but prevent new ones from going in,

600
00:42:14.940 --> 00:42:16.940
that's when you have so much power.

601
00:42:16.940 --> 00:42:20.540
These four things, the loops, the skill sets,

602
00:42:20.540 --> 00:42:23.220
the bridges and the solutions for the bricks.

603
00:42:23.900 --> 00:42:24.740
When you have those four things,

604
00:42:24.740 --> 00:42:27.700
you have so much power to create the experience

605
00:42:27.700 --> 00:42:29.100
you want in life.

606
00:42:29.100 --> 00:42:33.300
In any human interaction, whatever situation you enter,

607
00:42:33.300 --> 00:42:36.300
you'll have the skills to get the outcome you want.

608
00:42:37.220 --> 00:42:39.700
And so, of course, we've been helping students do this

609
00:42:39.700 --> 00:42:42.660
for so many years, and now it's your turn.

610
00:42:42.660 --> 00:42:46.020
You can learn the skill set and get the results you want.

611
00:42:46.020 --> 00:42:50.340
And I'm gonna show you how in just two steps, okay?

612
00:42:50.340 --> 00:42:51.940
Two steps, here we go.

613
00:42:51.940 --> 00:42:54.780
Step one is to read our book, The Missing Piece.

614
00:42:54.780 --> 00:42:59.780
We stuffed so much into over 300 pages in this book.

615
00:43:00.740 --> 00:43:02.360
And you can buy our book anywhere,

616
00:43:02.360 --> 00:43:04.820
but I'd love to give it to you for free.

617
00:43:04.820 --> 00:43:08.060
You can visit, the link is on the slide there,

618
00:43:08.060 --> 00:43:10.420
missingpiecebook.com slash rainmaker.

619
00:43:10.420 --> 00:43:13.780
But before you do, I'm gonna show you the second step

620
00:43:13.780 --> 00:43:16.940
and a couple of other awesome things that we have for you.

621
00:43:16.940 --> 00:43:20.140
And they can throw that link in the chat as well.

622
00:43:20.140 --> 00:43:22.460
But when we send you there,

623
00:43:22.460 --> 00:43:24.420
we've already bought the books from Hay House.

624
00:43:24.420 --> 00:43:27.540
Yes, we do have to buy books from our publisher.

625
00:43:27.540 --> 00:43:30.540
And we bought books for everybody who's on this class today.

626
00:43:30.540 --> 00:43:33.700
So everybody who wants to get a free book can.

627
00:43:33.700 --> 00:43:36.060
All we ask is that you cover the shipping costs

628
00:43:36.060 --> 00:43:37.860
and we'll ship it right to your door.

629
00:43:37.860 --> 00:43:39.220
Because at Relationship Development,

630
00:43:39.220 --> 00:43:42.340
it is our mission to get the solutions that we have

631
00:43:42.340 --> 00:43:44.780
into the hands of every human who wants this.

632
00:43:44.780 --> 00:43:46.660
You deserve these answers,

633
00:43:46.660 --> 00:43:49.420
and you have the opportunity in front of you

634
00:43:49.460 --> 00:43:52.580
to break the chains of demand relationship

635
00:43:52.580 --> 00:43:55.100
for your family's legacy.

636
00:43:55.100 --> 00:43:56.380
Our book, The Missing Piece,

637
00:43:56.380 --> 00:44:00.460
is actually the only book in the history of books

638
00:44:00.460 --> 00:44:04.300
to promise a one-person relationship method.

639
00:44:05.460 --> 00:44:07.300
Best-selling author Annie Gray said,

640
00:44:07.300 --> 00:44:11.460
I'm buying this book for everyone I know, not joking.

641
00:44:11.460 --> 00:44:13.940
This is for family, spouse, work, clients,

642
00:44:13.940 --> 00:44:16.700
team members, kids, and all relationships.

643
00:44:16.740 --> 00:44:20.140
It's about human to human interactions, right?

644
00:44:20.140 --> 00:44:22.500
At a time when you can't go 10 minutes

645
00:44:22.500 --> 00:44:24.620
without seeing someone getting triggered

646
00:44:24.620 --> 00:44:26.540
or a disagreement causing division,

647
00:44:26.540 --> 00:44:29.300
The Missing Piece provides needed solutions

648
00:44:29.300 --> 00:44:31.300
to empower the reader to navigate

649
00:44:31.300 --> 00:44:33.780
real life situations harmoniously,

650
00:44:33.780 --> 00:44:36.980
regardless of what they're currently facing.

651
00:44:36.980 --> 00:44:38.420
Actually, Stephen and I met

652
00:44:38.420 --> 00:44:40.220
in Russell Brunson's Mastermind.

653
00:44:40.220 --> 00:44:42.620
Russell Brunson, New York Times best-selling author said,

654
00:44:42.620 --> 00:44:45.420
my marriage and my relationships were good,

655
00:44:45.420 --> 00:44:47.980
but I had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars

656
00:44:47.980 --> 00:44:49.500
on personal development,

657
00:44:49.500 --> 00:44:51.620
searching for a way to make them great.

658
00:44:51.620 --> 00:44:54.060
It wasn't until I found Stacey and Paul

659
00:44:54.060 --> 00:44:55.860
that I discovered this missing piece

660
00:44:55.860 --> 00:44:59.100
that changed my marriage, my relationship with my kids,

661
00:44:59.100 --> 00:45:00.460
and the people I work with.

662
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:01.100
with every day.

663
00:45:01.100 --> 00:45:03.820
I'll be forever grateful that I invested my time

664
00:45:03.820 --> 00:45:06.980
to learn their unique methodology on relationship success.

665
00:45:06.980 --> 00:45:11.460
And now it's our honor and joy to gift you our book

666
00:45:11.460 --> 00:45:14.440
at missingpeacebook.com slash Rainmaker.

667
00:45:14.440 --> 00:45:15.280
I will say this,

668
00:45:15.280 --> 00:45:18.620
if you have gotten any value from today's class,

669
00:45:18.620 --> 00:45:21.240
just please get a copy of our book.

670
00:45:21.240 --> 00:45:24.620
We packed that book full of eye-opening solutions

671
00:45:24.620 --> 00:45:26.980
that you have not seen anywhere else.

672
00:45:26.980 --> 00:45:30.220
So whatever you do, get the book by using the link today.

673
00:45:30.220 --> 00:45:32.740
Now, as I said, it's a two-step solution.

674
00:45:32.740 --> 00:45:34.240
So here's the deal.

675
00:45:34.240 --> 00:45:36.280
Step one, get the book.

676
00:45:36.280 --> 00:45:39.140
Step two, come to our event.

677
00:45:39.140 --> 00:45:40.700
The book opens your eyes.

678
00:45:40.700 --> 00:45:42.660
It gives you visibility into the pieces

679
00:45:42.660 --> 00:45:44.580
that have been missing all this time.

680
00:45:44.580 --> 00:45:49.300
And our event is how you live this in your life each day.

681
00:45:49.300 --> 00:45:50.780
Our Relationship Breakthrough Retreat

682
00:45:50.780 --> 00:45:54.580
is a three-day live stream online event,

683
00:45:54.580 --> 00:45:56.480
and it is the fastest way to do this.

684
00:45:56.980 --> 00:45:58.760
If you feel like you need to be able to apply this

685
00:45:58.760 --> 00:46:01.440
in your life right away, like yesterday,

686
00:46:01.440 --> 00:46:04.240
then RBR is built to give you that.

687
00:46:04.240 --> 00:46:07.160
An immersion event is really the only way to do that,

688
00:46:07.160 --> 00:46:10.160
immersing yourself in the experience of it.

689
00:46:10.160 --> 00:46:12.720
In our event, you get to see Paul and I demonstrate

690
00:46:12.720 --> 00:46:13.920
and role-play it.

691
00:46:13.920 --> 00:46:16.400
We give you the step-by-step solutions.

692
00:46:16.400 --> 00:46:19.280
All of our students that are living in the results

693
00:46:19.280 --> 00:46:22.520
that they have today, have done this work with us,

694
00:46:22.520 --> 00:46:24.640
started and came to RBR first.

695
00:46:24.640 --> 00:46:28.520
So read the book, come to RBR, this is how we do it,

696
00:46:28.520 --> 00:46:31.360
how we get results for thousands of students

697
00:46:31.360 --> 00:46:32.840
who have come to RBR over the years.

698
00:46:32.840 --> 00:46:34.520
It's a life-changing event.

699
00:46:34.520 --> 00:46:38.100
It's three days and your life will never be the same again.

700
00:46:38.100 --> 00:46:40.320
You can get the skills so you can apply this

701
00:46:40.320 --> 00:46:44.520
in your situation, whatever it is that you're facing

702
00:46:44.520 --> 00:46:46.180
in any relationship.

703
00:46:46.180 --> 00:46:49.080
So Paul and I have actually delivered over 90

704
00:46:49.080 --> 00:46:52.440
multi-day events in the last 14 years serving our students.

705
00:46:52.440 --> 00:46:56.880
We've been doing RBR since 2014, so over 10 years.

706
00:46:56.880 --> 00:46:59.540
It really has been perfected over the years,

707
00:46:59.540 --> 00:47:02.320
minute by minute, to give you exactly what you need.

708
00:47:02.320 --> 00:47:04.480
Paul and I are the only two speakers at our events.

709
00:47:04.480 --> 00:47:05.940
We don't have speakers.

710
00:47:05.940 --> 00:47:07.400
And this is a results event.

711
00:47:07.400 --> 00:47:11.160
Every single minute, the topic changes hour to hour

712
00:47:11.160 --> 00:47:13.060
so that you're getting everything that you need

713
00:47:13.060 --> 00:47:14.640
for any situation.

714
00:47:14.640 --> 00:47:17.480
It's designed to give you a breakthrough every hour.

715
00:47:17.480 --> 00:47:21.340
And now we host our RBR event online.

716
00:47:21.340 --> 00:47:25.040
So no travel, no overnight stays, no hassle.

717
00:47:25.040 --> 00:47:27.460
You can intend the entire three days

718
00:47:27.460 --> 00:47:29.260
from the comfort of your laptop.

719
00:47:29.260 --> 00:47:30.140
And here's the deal.

720
00:47:30.140 --> 00:47:32.860
Remember the four pieces that you need, right?

721
00:47:32.860 --> 00:47:35.340
Day one is the loops and the chart.

722
00:47:35.340 --> 00:47:39.260
Day two is an entire day of masculine and feminine bridges.

723
00:47:39.260 --> 00:47:40.900
And day three are the solutions

724
00:47:40.900 --> 00:47:42.960
to solve the bricks in the wall.

725
00:47:42.960 --> 00:47:45.580
Like that's what we do at RBR.

726
00:47:45.580 --> 00:47:48.740
Step one is to read the book, which we're gifting to you.

727
00:47:48.740 --> 00:47:50.300
And step two is to get to our

728
00:47:50.300 --> 00:47:52.140
Relationship Breakthrough Retreat event.

729
00:47:52.140 --> 00:47:56.900
And I have a massively special deal for that for you today

730
00:47:56.900 --> 00:47:59.180
because you came to this class.

731
00:47:59.180 --> 00:48:00.940
So yes, it's three days.

732
00:48:00.940 --> 00:48:02.840
And I know, who has three days?

733
00:48:02.840 --> 00:48:05.300
Nobody, but hear me out.

734
00:48:05.300 --> 00:48:09.020
Three days of your time invested in this

735
00:48:09.020 --> 00:48:13.860
for 362 days that are very different afterwards.

736
00:48:13.860 --> 00:48:16.620
Instead of being drained because all your time and energy

737
00:48:16.620 --> 00:48:19.540
goes into upsets and fighting and frustration

738
00:48:19.540 --> 00:48:22.520
with your kids, the business, your spouse and more,

739
00:48:22.520 --> 00:48:24.980
you're taking three days to put a little bit of time

740
00:48:24.980 --> 00:48:29.100
in the solution to turn the other 362 days

741
00:48:29.100 --> 00:48:33.300
into time spent in peace, harmony, connection and support.

742
00:48:33.300 --> 00:48:35.140
Right, our Relationship Breakthrough Retreat event

743
00:48:35.140 --> 00:48:39.660
is a high energy, fun, fascinating immersion experience.

744
00:48:39.660 --> 00:48:41.820
You'll be live in the Zoom room like this, right?

745
00:48:41.820 --> 00:48:44.100
All the students will be live in the chat

746
00:48:44.100 --> 00:48:47.580
and with their cameras on enjoying the event together.

747
00:48:47.580 --> 00:48:49.060
And this student posted a picture.

748
00:48:49.580 --> 00:48:52.180
She said it was only day two of the event

749
00:48:52.180 --> 00:48:54.460
and the purple tabs are the tools

750
00:48:54.460 --> 00:48:56.500
that we have been given this far.

751
00:48:56.500 --> 00:48:58.820
The student posted when she got her journal,

752
00:48:58.820 --> 00:49:00.660
she thought this is a huge blank journal.

753
00:49:00.660 --> 00:49:03.100
After day one of taking notes, she thought at this rate,

754
00:49:03.100 --> 00:49:05.580
I'm gonna run out of space, right?

755
00:49:05.580 --> 00:49:07.740
Everyone needs to read The Missing Piece.

756
00:49:07.740 --> 00:49:08.820
That's why we wrote it.

757
00:49:08.820 --> 00:49:11.340
That's where everyone needs to start.

758
00:49:11.340 --> 00:49:13.060
And our Relationship Breakthrough Retreat event

759
00:49:13.060 --> 00:49:15.780
is the fastest way to apply this in your life

760
00:49:15.780 --> 00:49:17.220
and see results.

761
00:49:17.220 --> 00:49:20.300
What's inside the book is different

762
00:49:20.300 --> 00:49:23.140
than what we teach in the three days at RBR.

763
00:49:23.140 --> 00:49:24.500
They are made to go together.

764
00:49:24.500 --> 00:49:25.940
There's no overlap.

765
00:49:25.940 --> 00:49:27.980
So what's inside the book is different

766
00:49:27.980 --> 00:49:28.980
than what's at RBR.

767
00:49:28.980 --> 00:49:31.740
What's at RBR is different than what's in the book.

768
00:49:31.740 --> 00:49:33.860
It's not a repeat.

769
00:49:33.860 --> 00:49:35.980
So I know it's packed with value.

770
00:49:35.980 --> 00:49:38.660
Thousands of people have come to this event

771
00:49:38.660 --> 00:49:40.700
and tickets to Relationship Breakthrough Retreat

772
00:49:40.700 --> 00:49:43.380
are typically $997.

773
00:49:43.380 --> 00:49:46.020
In fact, you can go to relationshipbreakthroughretreat.com

774
00:49:46.020 --> 00:49:49.260
on your phone right now and see the tickets are open

775
00:49:49.260 --> 00:49:52.500
and they're $997 each.

776
00:49:52.500 --> 00:49:55.420
But for everyone who's in this class,

777
00:49:55.420 --> 00:49:57.140
we created something kind of crazy

778
00:49:57.140 --> 00:49:59.460
and I will say we have never done this before.

779
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:07.280
But you can get a ticket to our entire three-day event for just $2.97.

780
00:50:07.280 --> 00:50:09.080
That's not for one day.

781
00:50:09.080 --> 00:50:13.000
That's for all three days, $700 off.

782
00:50:13.000 --> 00:50:19.120
So we're going to send you the book for free and give you $700 off of your ticket to Relationship

783
00:50:19.120 --> 00:50:20.120
Breakthrough retreat.

784
00:50:20.120 --> 00:50:24.680
I don't know how much more we can do to try to do everything we can to help your family,

785
00:50:24.680 --> 00:50:31.960
but when you go to missingpiecebook.com get your book, and then I'm going to show you

786
00:50:31.960 --> 00:50:38.040
what's on that page and how you can get your $700 off ticket, which is a little cray-cray.

787
00:50:38.040 --> 00:50:41.080
So when you go to get your free book, you're going to see this page.

788
00:50:41.080 --> 00:50:44.480
You'll fill it out to get your book.

789
00:50:44.480 --> 00:50:51.560
Now after you pay the shipping fee, which is I think $9.95 for US and $19.95 for international

790
00:50:51.560 --> 00:50:55.480
orders, there are some huge discount items that you can put in your shopping cart if

791
00:50:55.480 --> 00:50:57.040
you want to.

792
00:50:57.040 --> 00:50:59.860
But first step is to get the book for sure.

793
00:50:59.860 --> 00:51:05.840
On that page, you can actually check a box to get our Masculine and Feminine Masterclass,

794
00:51:05.840 --> 00:51:09.320
which is so crazy for $11.

795
00:51:09.320 --> 00:51:15.680
We used to do this class for $1,000, but it's $11 if you want to add it to your course.

796
00:51:15.680 --> 00:51:18.080
It's different differences.

797
00:51:18.080 --> 00:51:21.720
These are bridges, bridges for Masculine and Feminine differences.

798
00:51:21.720 --> 00:51:24.480
These are different than the one we teach at RBR on day two.

799
00:51:24.480 --> 00:51:28.600
So Paul and I actually teach dozens and dozens of these, and we can't fit them all into day

800
00:51:28.600 --> 00:51:29.600
two.

801
00:51:29.600 --> 00:51:34.560
So we used to teach like four or five differences that we don't teach anymore at RBR because

802
00:51:34.560 --> 00:51:35.560
we just don't have time.

803
00:51:35.560 --> 00:51:39.240
It's like an eight to 10 hour day at RBR, but we still don't have time for this.

804
00:51:39.240 --> 00:51:43.680
So we took the recordings of the ones we used to teach that we don't teach anymore at RBR.

805
00:51:43.680 --> 00:51:45.120
We put them into this masterclass.

806
00:51:45.120 --> 00:51:49.080
It used to be part of a course that sold for $1,000, but we've decided to give it to

807
00:51:49.080 --> 00:51:51.160
all book readers for just $11.

808
00:51:51.160 --> 00:51:56.800
And what's cool is, so there's no repeats for you between what's in the book and RBR,

809
00:51:56.800 --> 00:51:59.440
but you can get instant access today.

810
00:51:59.440 --> 00:52:02.440
So like you have to wait a little while for us to ship the book to your door, or you're

811
00:52:02.440 --> 00:52:06.880
going to maybe wait a little while for RBR dates, but you can actually start getting

812
00:52:06.880 --> 00:52:10.000
that Masculine and Feminine classes instant access.

813
00:52:10.000 --> 00:52:12.640
You don't have to get it, but if you feel like adding it to your cart, you're absolutely

814
00:52:12.640 --> 00:52:13.880
welcome to do that.

815
00:52:13.880 --> 00:52:16.840
The next page is our bundle.

816
00:52:16.840 --> 00:52:21.560
These are two topics that did not fit into the book and we no longer teach them at RBR.

817
00:52:21.560 --> 00:52:25.680
So we kind of orchestrated this so that it makes sense for our students.

818
00:52:25.680 --> 00:52:30.240
If it speaks to you and it's something you feel like you really want and need right now,

819
00:52:30.240 --> 00:52:31.960
you can get them for just 97 bucks.

820
00:52:31.960 --> 00:52:33.520
The first is for forgiveness.

821
00:52:33.520 --> 00:52:38.640
It is so not what everybody else tells you, which is complete, by the way, if you only

822
00:52:38.640 --> 00:52:43.320
learn one thing from me today, somebody telling you to just forgive when you don't feel forgiveness

823
00:52:43.320 --> 00:52:45.400
inside of you is complete and total garbage.

824
00:52:45.400 --> 00:52:48.280
They just don't know what they're talking about.

825
00:52:48.280 --> 00:52:49.720
Forgiveness is actually an experience.

826
00:52:49.720 --> 00:52:54.720
You either feel forgiveness or you feel unforgiveness and you can't just change your mind about

827
00:52:54.720 --> 00:52:55.720
that.

828
00:52:55.720 --> 00:52:56.720
You feel it.

829
00:52:56.720 --> 00:53:02.560
There's a process, however, that you can go through to shift unforgiveness into true release.

830
00:53:02.560 --> 00:53:03.560
That's what's needed.

831
00:53:03.560 --> 00:53:07.600
And actually, Paul and I created our own five-step forgiveness process.

832
00:53:07.600 --> 00:53:10.520
Tens of thousands of people have successfully been through it.

833
00:53:10.520 --> 00:53:15.000
It could fit in the book because I was already pushing it at over 300 pages with Hay House

834
00:53:15.000 --> 00:53:17.440
and they were like, 200 pages.

835
00:53:17.440 --> 00:53:19.400
So we stuffed this into this course.

836
00:53:19.400 --> 00:53:24.040
And the other is our brick conversation framework for a step-by-step fill in the blanks for

837
00:53:24.040 --> 00:53:27.320
having conflict-free conversations.

838
00:53:27.320 --> 00:53:30.560
So if you have some conversations you need to have with someone and you don't want it

839
00:53:30.560 --> 00:53:33.240
to turn into a fight, you can throw that in your cart.

840
00:53:33.240 --> 00:53:34.360
You totally don't have to.

841
00:53:34.360 --> 00:53:35.360
It's really up to you.

842
00:53:35.360 --> 00:53:39.000
And if you want to kind of throw it in there, but then after that course, and you can say

843
00:53:39.000 --> 00:53:41.640
no on that page if you don't want it, fine by me.

844
00:53:41.640 --> 00:53:43.520
It's also instant access.

845
00:53:43.520 --> 00:53:45.080
The next page is the ticket.

846
00:53:45.080 --> 00:53:46.920
So you get the book, you get the ticket.

847
00:53:46.920 --> 00:53:49.560
If you get the other stuff, it's like while you're shopping, that's awesome.

848
00:53:49.560 --> 00:53:53.080
But this event is just for you, by the way.

849
00:53:53.080 --> 00:53:54.080
No partner.

850
00:53:54.080 --> 00:53:55.080
Your partner doesn't need to come.

851
00:53:55.080 --> 00:53:58.440
You don't need anyone else's permission to do this.

852
00:53:58.440 --> 00:54:01.360
You are actually not even doing this for your relationship.

853
00:54:01.360 --> 00:54:05.720
I know that sounds crazy, but this skill set is yours.

854
00:54:05.720 --> 00:54:08.760
When you learn this skill set, so many people are like, I don't know if I want to do that

855
00:54:09.520 --> 00:54:10.520
for my relationship.

856
00:54:10.520 --> 00:54:11.520
Don't do it for your relationship.

857
00:54:11.520 --> 00:54:16.480
It's for you, whether it's for this person or the next person or other people right and

858
00:54:16.480 --> 00:54:17.880
left in your life.

859
00:54:17.880 --> 00:54:21.280
You either have the skill set or you don't have the skill set to be able to interact

860
00:54:21.280 --> 00:54:23.440
this way.

861
00:54:23.440 --> 00:54:30.320
And even if you're transitioning your family to a wonderful co-parenting family by design,

862
00:54:30.320 --> 00:54:34.600
not married, and it's fine, like we're not anti-divorce, do whatever you want to do.

863
00:54:34.600 --> 00:54:40.560
But having the skill sets to interact harmoniously, there's no option not to do that, right?

864
00:54:40.560 --> 00:54:46.200
So please get your ticket if it speaks to you when you're going through it.

865
00:54:46.200 --> 00:54:48.560
Everyone here can get a free copy of our book.

866
00:54:48.560 --> 00:54:54.160
Whether or not you grab a ticket with this deal, which is a huge deal, please get a free

867
00:54:54.160 --> 00:54:55.160
copy of our book.

868
00:54:55.160 --> 00:54:57.740
We're so happy to ship it right to your door.

869
00:54:57.740 --> 00:55:00.040
We deeply hope that you grab this opportunity.

870
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:01.800
come to our Relationship Breakthrough Retreat

871
00:55:01.800 --> 00:55:03.600
live stream event online.

872
00:55:03.600 --> 00:55:06.040
When you go to that page and you get your ticket,

873
00:55:06.040 --> 00:55:07.760
there's actually three different dates.

874
00:55:07.760 --> 00:55:08.720
Like we do the event,

875
00:55:08.720 --> 00:55:10.720
we're doing it three times in the next 90 days.

876
00:55:10.720 --> 00:55:13.240
So you can pick your dates after you get your ticket.

877
00:55:13.240 --> 00:55:15.760
And if for some reason those dates don't work for you,

878
00:55:15.760 --> 00:55:16.980
like we'll work it out with you.

879
00:55:16.980 --> 00:55:20.080
Like we'll make sure you get into the next one or whatever.

880
00:55:20.080 --> 00:55:22.920
You just reach out to us and we'll make it right.

881
00:55:22.920 --> 00:55:25.840
But I really hope that what you get from today,

882
00:55:25.840 --> 00:55:27.960
and I know I kind of went really fast

883
00:55:27.960 --> 00:55:30.040
because I had a lot that I wanted to teach you

884
00:55:30.040 --> 00:55:32.400
and even more than I would love to teach you.

885
00:55:32.400 --> 00:55:35.640
But please know wherever you go from here,

886
00:55:35.640 --> 00:55:39.360
relationship is a skillset and it can be learned.

887
00:55:39.360 --> 00:55:42.240
It only takes one person to learn the skillset

888
00:55:42.240 --> 00:55:45.240
and create the change in any relationship.

889
00:55:45.240 --> 00:55:47.840
Relationship development is that skillset.

890
00:55:47.840 --> 00:55:50.440
No one should be blindsided by upsets,

891
00:55:50.440 --> 00:55:52.240
drama, hurts, and conflicts.

892
00:55:52.240 --> 00:55:54.800
Again, not you, not your kids.

893
00:55:54.800 --> 00:55:57.000
When you start interacting with your kids

894
00:55:57.040 --> 00:55:59.880
using this relationship development skillset,

895
00:55:59.880 --> 00:56:02.120
they will actually learn these skills

896
00:56:02.120 --> 00:56:03.360
just by interacting with you

897
00:56:03.360 --> 00:56:04.720
the same way they're learning

898
00:56:04.720 --> 00:56:06.680
demand relationship tactics right now,

899
00:56:06.680 --> 00:56:08.480
the same way we did.

900
00:56:08.480 --> 00:56:10.980
You have this chance to break the chains

901
00:56:10.980 --> 00:56:13.400
of demand relationship for their legacy

902
00:56:13.400 --> 00:56:16.240
and change their future so they don't actually

903
00:56:16.240 --> 00:56:18.040
need to find me when they're 40

904
00:56:18.040 --> 00:56:21.120
to unload and unravel all of their crap.

905
00:56:21.120 --> 00:56:24.520
So this is your opportunity to handle

906
00:56:24.520 --> 00:56:27.440
whatever comes at you, whatever life throws at you,

907
00:56:27.440 --> 00:56:28.980
whatever relationships you're in

908
00:56:28.980 --> 00:56:32.580
that are causing you stress or worry or upset.

909
00:56:32.580 --> 00:56:34.180
Get your free copy of the book

910
00:56:34.180 --> 00:56:37.000
at missingpeacebook.com slash rainmaker.

911
00:56:37.000 --> 00:56:39.080
And of course you can always connect with Paul and I

912
00:56:39.080 --> 00:56:41.440
at relationshipdevelopment.org.

913
00:56:41.440 --> 00:56:43.680
I really hope that you've got something,

914
00:56:43.680 --> 00:56:46.120
learned something, got something of value

915
00:56:46.120 --> 00:56:48.680
from this class today and I'm totally psyched

916
00:56:48.680 --> 00:56:51.180
that I got a chance to be here with you today too.

917
00:56:55.360 --> 00:56:56.200
Yeah.

918
00:56:56.200 --> 00:56:57.020
Oh no, it's working.

919
00:56:57.020 --> 00:56:59.360
Are you serious right now?

920
00:56:59.360 --> 00:57:03.680
Like, that was so powerful.

921
00:57:03.680 --> 00:57:05.240
How are you guys feeling right now?

922
00:57:05.240 --> 00:57:08.400
Like the amount of, okay, literally,

923
00:57:08.400 --> 00:57:11.240
isn't it so powerful when somebody says,

924
00:57:11.240 --> 00:57:15.640
yeah, I had to keep my book at 300 pages.

925
00:57:19.040 --> 00:57:21.600
Like, I know that hits some of you

926
00:57:21.600 --> 00:57:24.600
because I'm like, man, I barely got 10 pages of right.

927
00:57:24.600 --> 00:57:27.280
And Stacey's over here like, man,

928
00:57:27.280 --> 00:57:30.440
how do I like fit all this in?

929
00:57:30.440 --> 00:57:32.740
Literally that is an abundance.

930
00:57:32.740 --> 00:57:35.600
That is an abundance of knowledge, abundance of resources.

931
00:57:35.600 --> 00:57:38.840
And so first of all, I just want to say,

932
00:57:38.840 --> 00:57:40.760
thank you so much, Stacey.

933
00:57:42.080 --> 00:57:44.080
In the chat, it's just blown up.

934
00:57:44.080 --> 00:57:45.560
It's like, thank you for your passion,

935
00:57:45.560 --> 00:57:47.920
your vision, your content.

936
00:57:47.920 --> 00:57:49.400
So inspiring.

937
00:57:49.400 --> 00:57:51.880
This is so what I needed today.

938
00:57:54.080 --> 00:57:55.880
Yeah, exactly, Kate.

939
00:57:55.880 --> 00:57:58.640
Kate said, April abundance overflows to May.

940
00:57:58.640 --> 00:58:02.360
And I'm like, yeah, exactly.

941
00:58:02.360 --> 00:58:04.800
So we can have an abundance in relationships.

942
00:58:04.800 --> 00:58:09.140
We can have an abundance of good things in relationships.

943
00:58:09.140 --> 00:58:12.600
And you guys, did you catch this as well?

944
00:58:12.600 --> 00:58:17.600
Stacey said, there is not another book on the market

945
00:58:18.440 --> 00:58:20.960
that is teaching what we are teaching.

946
00:58:20.960 --> 00:58:23.920
That gets my ears up like, wait, what is this?

947
00:58:23.920 --> 00:58:26.640
In the history of books, our publisher looked.

948
00:58:26.640 --> 00:58:29.320
In the history of printed books.

949
00:58:29.320 --> 00:58:31.360
That's why I read Tracy at Hay House.

950
00:58:31.360 --> 00:58:33.780
He's like, no, you have to come to Hay House

951
00:58:33.780 --> 00:58:35.940
because there's never been a book done like this.

952
00:58:35.940 --> 00:58:37.720
And I needed to be a Hay House book.

953
00:58:37.720 --> 00:58:40.560
And I'm like, okay.

954
00:58:40.560 --> 00:58:41.720
Yeah, that's what we do.

955
00:58:41.720 --> 00:58:42.560
This is what we do.

956
00:58:42.560 --> 00:58:47.200
And this was about 1% of the curriculum that we have.

957
00:58:47.920 --> 00:58:50.640
And our relationships are complicated, y'all.

958
00:58:50.640 --> 00:58:52.720
Like there's a lot of crap going on.

959
00:58:52.720 --> 00:58:54.440
We've solved it for 14 years.

960
00:58:54.440 --> 00:58:56.440
So please let us tell you what it is.

961
00:58:56.440 --> 00:58:58.200
We're happy to tell you.

962
00:58:58.200 --> 00:59:02.120
No, so you guys, this is just the beginning

963
00:59:02.120 --> 00:59:04.440
of a new relationship with Stacey.

964
00:59:04.440 --> 00:59:06.320
So hear me out, okay?

965
00:59:06.320 --> 00:59:09.360
Get your little dance on, okay?

966
00:59:09.360 --> 00:59:14.360
She is coming back every quarter for the next year.

967
00:59:15.000 --> 00:59:16.120
So get excited.

968
00:59:16.120 --> 00:59:19.480
This was just a little teaser, a little intro,

969
00:59:19.480 --> 00:59:21.000
a little taste.

970
00:59:21.000 --> 00:59:25.360
And you guys know, if you saw Stacey's heart

971
00:59:25.360 --> 00:59:27.680
on being generous and being a giver,

972
00:59:27.680 --> 00:59:29.120
we're big on that too.

973
00:59:29.120 --> 00:59:31.720
So just keep that in mind.

974
00:59:31.720 --> 00:59:33.240
This is just the beginning.

975
00:59:33.240 --> 00:59:35.040
So get the book.

976
00:59:35.040 --> 00:59:37.100
I'm dropping the link another time.

977
00:59:37.100 --> 00:59:38.240
It's literally free.

978
00:59:38.240 --> 00:59:39.760
You pay shipping.

979
00:59:39.760 --> 00:59:43.560
And then that's where you get all the insider goods

980
00:59:43.560 --> 00:59:46.160
for her next event.

981
00:59:46.160 --> 00:59:49.040
And then, so start following them.

982
00:59:49.040 --> 00:59:50.720
Start getting connected with them

983
00:59:50.720 --> 00:59:53.080
and what they're up to outside of here.

984
00:59:53.920 --> 00:59:56.760
And so keep that in mind.

985
00:59:56.760 --> 00:59:58.640
We are gonna be letting you guys know

986
00:59:58.640 --> 01:00:00.160
when her next events are.

987
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.320
are in our community, but no need to wait for three months.

988
01:00:04.320 --> 01:00:07.400
Get involved with her now, get connected with her now.

989
01:00:09.040 --> 01:00:10.800
Stacey, anything else you wanted to say

990
01:00:10.800 --> 01:00:15.800
before I like open up for a Q&A time, if that's okay?

991
01:00:16.400 --> 01:00:17.760
No, I'm thrilled.

992
01:00:17.760 --> 01:00:19.080
I love to answer questions.

993
01:00:19.080 --> 01:00:21.440
So bring it, whatever questions you wanna ask.

994
01:00:21.440 --> 01:00:22.840
All right, team.

995
01:00:22.840 --> 01:00:26.800
We are gonna do a Q&A section right now.

996
01:00:26.800 --> 01:00:29.720
And I don't want anybody unmuting.

997
01:00:29.720 --> 01:00:33.000
I just want you, if there's any questions

998
01:00:33.000 --> 01:00:37.960
that pertain to what Stacey just talked about,

999
01:00:37.960 --> 01:00:40.200
please drop it in the chat.

1000
01:00:40.200 --> 01:00:44.540
And I would love to have those answered for you.

1001
01:00:44.540 --> 01:00:46.840
I did catch one earlier on,

1002
01:00:46.840 --> 01:00:49.680
and it was about the demand relationship.

1003
01:00:49.680 --> 01:00:54.680
They were asking is avoidance could be added to that list.

1004
01:00:55.600 --> 01:01:00.280
Yeah, avoidance is demand relationship.

1005
01:01:00.280 --> 01:01:02.240
And what a bummer, right?

1006
01:01:02.240 --> 01:01:04.880
Because don't we love to avoid

1007
01:01:04.880 --> 01:01:09.440
an uncomfortable conversation or a kerfuffly situation.

1008
01:01:09.440 --> 01:01:12.440
But if you've been around the block a few times,

1009
01:01:12.440 --> 01:01:13.960
I think you already know this pattern.

1010
01:01:13.960 --> 01:01:15.760
I'm just gonna frame it out for you in words,

1011
01:01:15.760 --> 01:01:17.840
but you already know is that

1012
01:01:17.840 --> 01:01:21.680
when we avoid an uncomfortable moment right now

1013
01:01:21.680 --> 01:01:23.960
in a long-term relationship, short-term relationship,

1014
01:01:23.960 --> 01:01:25.160
you can avoid anything you want.

1015
01:01:25.160 --> 01:01:26.960
Maybe you never see him again, who cares?

1016
01:01:26.960 --> 01:01:28.680
But in a long-term relationship,

1017
01:01:28.680 --> 01:01:30.960
when you're gonna see that person again,

1018
01:01:30.960 --> 01:01:34.520
you can avoid that moment, but the underlying,

1019
01:01:34.520 --> 01:01:37.720
I don't have the skillsets to navigate that moment

1020
01:01:37.720 --> 01:01:41.360
peacefully and successfully still exist.

1021
01:01:41.360 --> 01:01:43.680
So in a long-term relationship,

1022
01:01:43.680 --> 01:01:48.480
that like we're going three, two, one, and we're back.

1023
01:01:48.480 --> 01:01:50.840
Here's the next moment where I still don't have

1024
01:01:50.840 --> 01:01:53.920
the skillsets to navigate that peacefully

1025
01:01:53.920 --> 01:01:55.880
and harmoniously for us.

1026
01:01:55.880 --> 01:01:58.120
Like it just comes right back.

1027
01:01:58.120 --> 01:02:00.320
And if you've been around in the world,

1028
01:02:00.320 --> 01:02:03.680
you know that things just get hairier and scarier

1029
01:02:03.680 --> 01:02:07.040
as you start to grow and age.

1030
01:02:07.040 --> 01:02:09.560
And as these relationships build up,

1031
01:02:09.560 --> 01:02:12.280
because now we have bricks in the wall

1032
01:02:12.280 --> 01:02:16.840
from the original avoidance that our new experiences

1033
01:02:16.840 --> 01:02:19.000
are being filtered by and flavored by,

1034
01:02:19.000 --> 01:02:21.720
and people, there's more distance

1035
01:02:21.720 --> 01:02:23.480
every time we avoid something.

1036
01:02:23.480 --> 01:02:24.720
You know, you feel it, right?

1037
01:02:24.720 --> 01:02:26.280
That there's a little bit more distance

1038
01:02:26.280 --> 01:02:30.000
when we avoid something and we don't talk about it.

1039
01:02:30.000 --> 01:02:35.000
But there's also this underlying lack of confidence

1040
01:02:35.800 --> 01:02:39.280
in our relationship, how we relate to each other.

1041
01:02:39.280 --> 01:02:42.720
I don't really feel like we can get through things together

1042
01:02:42.720 --> 01:02:44.120
because we're not.

1043
01:02:44.120 --> 01:02:47.480
And believe it or not, that also is bricks in the wall.

1044
01:02:47.480 --> 01:02:51.120
That is flavoring and filtering what you next time decide,

1045
01:02:51.120 --> 01:02:52.920
maybe I won't tell them that, right?

1046
01:02:52.920 --> 01:02:54.400
Have you ever had that thought?

1047
01:02:54.400 --> 01:02:55.840
Like, I don't think I'm gonna bring this up.

1048
01:02:55.840 --> 01:02:58.120
Like, or your mom's like, what's going on?

1049
01:02:58.120 --> 01:02:59.600
And you're like, filtering through,

1050
01:02:59.600 --> 01:03:03.720
what can I tell her that won't end up with it?

1051
01:03:03.720 --> 01:03:06.360
Sorry, that's me, on the phone, right?

1052
01:03:06.360 --> 01:03:07.640
But like, you're thinking about it.

1053
01:03:07.640 --> 01:03:08.760
Like, what can I do?

1054
01:03:08.760 --> 01:03:12.000
And that is the problem with avoidance.

1055
01:03:12.000 --> 01:03:15.680
Avoidance is just a short-term tactic

1056
01:03:15.680 --> 01:03:18.960
when we have run to the end of our skillset.

1057
01:03:18.960 --> 01:03:20.640
Well, you're not going anywhere.

1058
01:03:20.640 --> 01:03:21.800
Where are you going?

1059
01:03:21.800 --> 01:03:23.880
So extending the end of our skillset

1060
01:03:23.880 --> 01:03:26.080
is not even an optional piece.

1061
01:03:26.080 --> 01:03:29.160
We're not gonna run into this situation again.

1062
01:03:29.160 --> 01:03:30.400
Of course we are.

1063
01:03:30.400 --> 01:03:33.560
So it, like, why should we sit here

1064
01:03:33.560 --> 01:03:35.640
running to the end of our skillset

1065
01:03:35.640 --> 01:03:37.880
and dealing with the stress and the pain

1066
01:03:37.880 --> 01:03:40.080
and the upset of that?

1067
01:03:40.080 --> 01:03:41.600
And the other piece is, of course,

1068
01:03:41.600 --> 01:03:45.560
that avoidance builds onto that separation

1069
01:03:45.560 --> 01:03:46.840
and that distance.

1070
01:03:46.840 --> 01:03:49.120
And then we feel the loneliness of that.

1071
01:03:49.120 --> 01:03:51.360
How many times have you had a situation with someone

1072
01:03:51.360 --> 01:03:53.680
where you're like, I don't think I'm gonna bring that up?

1073
01:03:53.680 --> 01:03:56.320
Or they said something and I'm just gonna let that go.

1074
01:03:56.320 --> 01:03:58.280
But then the next time you're kind of hesitant,

1075
01:03:58.280 --> 01:03:59.120
you're like, I don't even know

1076
01:03:59.120 --> 01:04:00.880
if I really wanna go to this thing now

1077
01:04:00.880 --> 01:04:03.200
because, I don't know, we're in a weird place.

1078
01:04:03.200 --> 01:04:04.960
Like, it builds distance

1079
01:04:04.960 --> 01:04:06.920
and then we feel that loss of connection.

1080
01:04:06.920 --> 01:04:10.440
So I get it that avoidance is a short-term tactic,

1081
01:04:10.440 --> 01:04:11.320
it's like a hack,

1082
01:04:11.320 --> 01:04:15.000
but it unfortunately breaks down relationships

1083
01:04:15.000 --> 01:04:16.800
in those little moments of the day, right?

1084
01:04:16.800 --> 01:04:19.160
So it's about learning the skills.

1085
01:04:19.160 --> 01:04:22.360
Y'all, see, okay, power.

1086
01:04:22.360 --> 01:04:24.320
Are we going into round two right now?

1087
01:04:26.040 --> 01:04:28.840
That was so good because I think a lot of us

1088
01:04:28.840 --> 01:04:30.960
can relate with those loneliness feelings

1089
01:04:30.960 --> 01:04:33.200
and those avoidant behaviors.

1090
01:04:33.200 --> 01:04:35.160
And I just love how you said

1091
01:04:35.160 --> 01:04:38.400
it actually brings lack of confidence

1092
01:04:38.400 --> 01:04:41.840
when what we really need is confidence and, like, trust,

1093
01:04:41.840 --> 01:04:44.480
right, to be able to approach that conversation

1094
01:04:44.520 --> 01:04:46.840
because there's gonna be time and time and time again

1095
01:04:46.840 --> 01:04:48.160
where you need to.

1096
01:04:48.160 --> 01:04:50.760
So, so, so powerful.

1097
01:04:51.800 --> 01:04:54.320
Somebody asked, I know you kind of mentioned,

1098
01:04:54.320 --> 01:04:57.440
talked about this, but your RBR event,

1099
01:04:57.440 --> 01:04:58.880
your three-day virtual event,

1100
01:04:58.880 --> 01:04:59.960
what about them?

1101
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.040
inviting their spouse to join them for that event?

1102
01:05:04.040 --> 01:05:07.380
Yeah, so I get, of course, I get this question a lot.

1103
01:05:07.380 --> 01:05:12.380
So I will say this, it really, I recommend not doing it.

1104
01:05:14.460 --> 01:05:17.460
And I'll tell you why, but you for sure you can.

1105
01:05:17.460 --> 01:05:19.780
It really depends on where you are in your relationship.

1106
01:05:19.780 --> 01:05:22.820
If you and your partner are people who like

1107
01:05:22.820 --> 01:05:25.900
do mindset crap together and you read things

1108
01:05:25.900 --> 01:05:27.020
and they're doing it too

1109
01:05:27.020 --> 01:05:28.820
and they're a personal development person too

1110
01:05:28.860 --> 01:05:30.900
and they're into growth too and all of that

1111
01:05:30.900 --> 01:05:32.420
and you're like, oh my God, I learned all this stuff.

1112
01:05:32.420 --> 01:05:33.500
And they're like, that's so cool.

1113
01:05:33.500 --> 01:05:34.380
What else did you learn?

1114
01:05:34.380 --> 01:05:36.740
Like, then maybe be like, hey, I'm going to this event.

1115
01:05:36.740 --> 01:05:38.840
You can go check it out if you want to.

1116
01:05:38.840 --> 01:05:41.820
But usually that's not actually how life is.

1117
01:05:41.820 --> 01:05:44.820
We usually fall in love with a person

1118
01:05:44.820 --> 01:05:47.860
who's exactly opposite of us.

1119
01:05:47.860 --> 01:05:50.700
And it creates all kinds of interesting curve bubbles

1120
01:05:50.700 --> 01:05:52.580
and we're into stuff that they're not into

1121
01:05:52.580 --> 01:05:54.220
and they're into stuff that we're not into.

1122
01:05:54.220 --> 01:05:55.740
And that's fine.

1123
01:05:55.740 --> 01:05:58.380
Paul and I are polar opposites.

1124
01:05:58.940 --> 01:06:00.340
This is my office, by the way.

1125
01:06:00.340 --> 01:06:04.380
And it's more color in front of me than it is even behind me.

1126
01:06:04.380 --> 01:06:07.500
And Paul's office is black and that's it.

1127
01:06:07.500 --> 01:06:10.300
He went black walls and white trim

1128
01:06:10.300 --> 01:06:13.620
and he has one owl behind him, an owl,

1129
01:06:13.620 --> 01:06:15.260
which is a big metal owl.

1130
01:06:15.260 --> 01:06:17.300
That's pretty much Paul in our closet.

1131
01:06:17.300 --> 01:06:18.580
It looks the exact same way.

1132
01:06:18.580 --> 01:06:19.860
He wears black every day.

1133
01:06:19.860 --> 01:06:21.100
Like we're polar opposites.

1134
01:06:21.100 --> 01:06:23.180
You don't have to be the same and it's the same thing.

1135
01:06:23.180 --> 01:06:26.120
But I will tell you the reason why

1136
01:06:26.120 --> 01:06:29.560
I tell people not to invite their partner.

1137
01:06:29.560 --> 01:06:34.560
Because typically your catalyst, your driver

1138
01:06:34.800 --> 01:06:37.080
for wanting to invite your partner

1139
01:06:37.080 --> 01:06:38.640
is already we're slipping

1140
01:06:38.640 --> 01:06:41.040
into the demand relationship side of the chart

1141
01:06:41.040 --> 01:06:42.560
where we're like, oh, you know,

1142
01:06:42.560 --> 01:06:46.000
my husband really needs to hear that.

1143
01:06:46.000 --> 01:06:47.560
No, I'm totally going to go.

1144
01:06:47.560 --> 01:06:49.360
Like, I get this, Stacy, you don't.

1145
01:06:49.360 --> 01:06:51.800
But like, if they could just hear

1146
01:06:51.800 --> 01:06:54.260
what you said last piece that you said.

1147
01:06:54.260 --> 01:06:56.740
Like it's, we're so like sideways

1148
01:06:56.740 --> 01:06:58.760
wanting them to do this for us.

1149
01:06:58.760 --> 01:07:00.420
Like you need to go, you need to listen.

1150
01:07:00.420 --> 01:07:03.600
And so that is the foundation of demand relationship.

1151
01:07:03.600 --> 01:07:05.860
And hey, do not knock yourself for it

1152
01:07:05.860 --> 01:07:09.180
because we have been literally conditioned

1153
01:07:09.180 --> 01:07:11.660
to do that since the beginning of time, right?

1154
01:07:11.660 --> 01:07:12.700
Make mommy happy.

1155
01:07:12.700 --> 01:07:14.420
Don't do that in front of daddy.

1156
01:07:14.420 --> 01:07:16.140
Everybody in class be quiet.

1157
01:07:16.140 --> 01:07:18.360
We have been told to change things

1158
01:07:18.360 --> 01:07:22.900
to make other people happy since we came out of the womb.

1159
01:07:22.900 --> 01:07:25.020
And so it's very, very typical.

1160
01:07:25.020 --> 01:07:27.380
Every fairy tale, what happens at the end?

1161
01:07:27.380 --> 01:07:30.900
He shows up and he makes a big grand gesture for fastness.

1162
01:07:30.900 --> 01:07:32.060
He makes her so happy.

1163
01:07:32.060 --> 01:07:35.200
Like, okay, this is the way it has been our whole lives.

1164
01:07:35.200 --> 01:07:37.620
Asking someone else to try to solve our stuff

1165
01:07:37.620 --> 01:07:40.140
and make us happy is the way the whole world was created.

1166
01:07:40.140 --> 01:07:42.340
And you know what that leaves us with?

1167
01:07:42.340 --> 01:07:44.740
It leaves us begging for other people

1168
01:07:44.740 --> 01:07:47.020
to get us out of a hole that we put ourselves in

1169
01:07:47.020 --> 01:07:49.340
by not empowering ourselves.

1170
01:07:49.340 --> 01:07:51.960
And that is a sucky situation we're in,

1171
01:07:51.960 --> 01:07:53.760
but we can change it now.

1172
01:07:53.760 --> 01:07:56.760
We have the ability and the skills and the empowerment.

1173
01:07:56.760 --> 01:07:58.480
We don't need anyone else to come save us.

1174
01:07:58.480 --> 01:08:00.600
We can save ourselves.

1175
01:08:00.600 --> 01:08:01.920
We just need to learn the how.

1176
01:08:01.920 --> 01:08:06.920
So I would say like, just be wary of that slippery slope

1177
01:08:07.160 --> 01:08:10.880
because I can see you coming a mile away and so can they.

1178
01:08:10.880 --> 01:08:14.080
And so asking someone else to go to an event like this

1179
01:08:14.080 --> 01:08:15.480
is kind of like saying,

1180
01:08:15.480 --> 01:08:18.359
hey, I'm going to this be better looking event

1181
01:08:18.359 --> 01:08:19.920
and I really think you should go.

1182
01:08:19.920 --> 01:08:20.960
You really need this.

1183
01:08:20.960 --> 01:08:22.279
Like we need this, right?

1184
01:08:22.279 --> 01:08:25.319
And it's kind of like, people are like, whoa,

1185
01:08:25.319 --> 01:08:26.960
I don't know what you're trying to say there,

1186
01:08:26.960 --> 01:08:28.240
but I don't like it.

1187
01:08:28.240 --> 01:08:32.160
So I would invite you to come to the event,

1188
01:08:32.160 --> 01:08:35.760
empower yourself and start interacting

1189
01:08:35.760 --> 01:08:37.560
from relationship development

1190
01:08:37.560 --> 01:08:40.899
and let them experience the shift, right?

1191
01:08:40.899 --> 01:08:43.640
I've done this for thousands and thousands of students

1192
01:08:43.640 --> 01:08:46.600
and I cannot tell you how many students have come to me

1193
01:08:46.600 --> 01:08:49.279
and at some point said, you're not going to believe this,

1194
01:08:49.279 --> 01:08:52.200
but my husband just said something to me

1195
01:08:52.200 --> 01:08:54.680
and it was totally a brick conversation he was saying.

1196
01:08:54.680 --> 01:08:56.520
And I'm like, where did you learn that?

1197
01:08:56.520 --> 01:08:57.800
And they're like, he didn't learn it.

1198
01:08:57.800 --> 01:09:00.600
He's just heard her do it so many fricking times.

1199
01:09:00.600 --> 01:09:02.020
He's modeling back to her

1200
01:09:02.020 --> 01:09:04.920
how she was talking to him after time, right?

1201
01:09:04.920 --> 01:09:09.120
And like my four-year-old, my five-year-old came home

1202
01:09:09.120 --> 01:09:12.040
and was like, mom, I think my teacher's a type two, right?

1203
01:09:12.040 --> 01:09:14.479
They're just saying what you've been saying.

1204
01:09:14.479 --> 01:09:16.840
They're understanding human behavior

1205
01:09:16.840 --> 01:09:18.840
the way you've been speaking it.

1206
01:09:19.399 --> 01:09:21.160
It's so much better if you go first

1207
01:09:21.160 --> 01:09:23.760
and create real results in your relationships

1208
01:09:23.760 --> 01:09:28.000
than if someone feels inspired to want to do it,

1209
01:09:28.000 --> 01:09:29.279
they'll let you know.

1210
01:09:29.279 --> 01:09:33.359
But I would say, show up and create some results first

1211
01:09:33.359 --> 01:09:36.439
before asking someone else to change something

1212
01:09:36.439 --> 01:09:38.500
that you haven't been willing to do yet yourself.

1213
01:09:38.500 --> 01:09:40.279
That's just my perspective.

1214
01:09:40.279 --> 01:09:41.880
You want to do it, go right ahead.

1215
01:09:41.880 --> 01:09:45.520
The beautiful thing is everything in your life is a choice

1216
01:09:45.520 --> 01:09:46.899
and you're living in the results

1217
01:09:46.899 --> 01:09:49.100
of every single decision you have ever made.

1218
01:09:49.100 --> 01:09:50.700
And there are no exceptions to that.

1219
01:09:50.700 --> 01:09:53.260
And I have no problems with any of the decisions

1220
01:09:53.260 --> 01:09:54.260
you ever want to make.

1221
01:09:54.260 --> 01:09:56.220
I'm just here to preemptively show you

1222
01:09:56.220 --> 01:09:57.640
the results of those decisions

1223
01:09:57.640 --> 01:09:59.500
and then you can choose what you want.

1224
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:02.480
That is so real.

1225
01:10:02.480 --> 01:10:05.200
We talk a lot about that on this call too, right?

1226
01:10:05.200 --> 01:10:07.240
About your mindset, about empowering yourself,

1227
01:10:07.240 --> 01:10:10.160
about you, like literally your choices

1228
01:10:10.160 --> 01:10:11.680
validate the results of your life.

1229
01:10:11.680 --> 01:10:13.680
And it's no different than a relationship,

1230
01:10:13.680 --> 01:10:15.680
especially a relationship, like you said,

1231
01:10:15.680 --> 01:10:18.040
that's long-term, like a marriage,

1232
01:10:18.040 --> 01:10:20.600
like a parent and child relationship.

1233
01:10:20.600 --> 01:10:23.280
So, woo, so good, so good.

1234
01:10:23.280 --> 01:10:25.680
Okay, I've got like a practical,

1235
01:10:25.680 --> 01:10:28.480
detailed question around the book.

1236
01:10:28.480 --> 01:10:30.320
So, there's a few who've been asking,

1237
01:10:30.320 --> 01:10:34.280
can I do the Audible book versus the hard copy

1238
01:10:34.280 --> 01:10:39.280
to also get access to the event down the road?

1239
01:10:39.760 --> 01:10:40.600
That's a-

1240
01:10:40.600 --> 01:10:44.880
So, the first answer is we can only ship you the hard copy.

1241
01:10:44.880 --> 01:10:47.680
I can't buy the audio books from Hay House.

1242
01:10:47.680 --> 01:10:48.920
Like, I don't own that.

1243
01:10:48.920 --> 01:10:50.200
I'm not a self-publisher.

1244
01:10:50.200 --> 01:10:51.720
Like, I'm a Hay House author.

1245
01:10:51.720 --> 01:10:54.680
They actually, if you've not been in publishing,

1246
01:10:54.680 --> 01:10:55.640
let's start at the beginning.

1247
01:10:55.640 --> 01:10:56.840
No, I'm just kidding.

1248
01:10:56.840 --> 01:10:58.080
They own the audio book.

1249
01:10:58.680 --> 01:11:01.200
We recorded it, worked my butt off on it,

1250
01:11:01.200 --> 01:11:04.520
just got over pneumonia and recorded it, but they own it.

1251
01:11:04.520 --> 01:11:06.240
I can't give it away.

1252
01:11:06.240 --> 01:11:07.920
But here's what I'll say.

1253
01:11:07.920 --> 01:11:10.160
So, go to Audible and use one of your credits

1254
01:11:10.160 --> 01:11:11.160
and get the audio book.

1255
01:11:11.160 --> 01:11:12.200
It's fricking amazing.

1256
01:11:12.200 --> 01:11:13.960
I love it, listen to it all the time.

1257
01:11:13.960 --> 01:11:16.520
And get a free book to go with it

1258
01:11:16.520 --> 01:11:18.640
because all of our charts and our loops

1259
01:11:18.640 --> 01:11:20.480
and our drawings are in here.

1260
01:11:20.480 --> 01:11:24.160
And it's great to have that visual companion.

1261
01:11:24.160 --> 01:11:25.240
I know it can be a downer,

1262
01:11:25.240 --> 01:11:26.960
but this is a learning experience.

1263
01:11:26.960 --> 01:11:28.400
I'm sorry, I know people don't are like,

1264
01:11:28.400 --> 01:11:29.280
that's not sexy.

1265
01:11:29.280 --> 01:11:31.240
I'm sorry, you gotta learn something.

1266
01:11:31.240 --> 01:11:33.160
But all of our charts and our tools

1267
01:11:33.160 --> 01:11:34.720
and our drawings are in here.

1268
01:11:34.720 --> 01:11:36.680
It's a really good companion.

1269
01:11:36.680 --> 01:11:38.080
So, get the free book anyway,

1270
01:11:38.080 --> 01:11:42.560
but that is the only way to access that $2.97 ticket.

1271
01:11:42.560 --> 01:11:46.720
You cannot get to that $2.97 screen any other way

1272
01:11:46.720 --> 01:11:48.200
than after getting your free book.

1273
01:11:48.200 --> 01:11:51.240
So, let us send you a free book to go with your audio book

1274
01:11:51.240 --> 01:11:53.240
and then you can get your ticket.

1275
01:11:53.240 --> 01:11:55.480
And if you close that screen on the ticket,

1276
01:11:55.480 --> 01:11:57.960
I love you so much and I'm so sorry.

1277
01:11:57.960 --> 01:11:58.840
Like, that's it.

1278
01:11:58.840 --> 01:12:01.560
I don't have any other magic technology.

1279
01:12:01.560 --> 01:12:02.920
When we say on that screen,

1280
01:12:02.920 --> 01:12:05.120
you're only gonna see this on the screen.

1281
01:12:05.120 --> 01:12:06.280
I'm telling the truth.

1282
01:12:06.280 --> 01:12:11.040
Like, Paul and I do not ever say anything that's not true.

1283
01:12:11.040 --> 01:12:12.000
We're not like that.

1284
01:12:12.000 --> 01:12:15.160
We won't tell you it's only $2.97 on the screen

1285
01:12:15.160 --> 01:12:18.240
and then you go to the event page and it's $2.97 everywhere.

1286
01:12:18.240 --> 01:12:19.200
We're not like that.

1287
01:12:19.200 --> 01:12:21.920
We've literally never offered it for $2.97

1288
01:12:21.920 --> 01:12:24.080
in our 14 years of doing this event.

1289
01:12:24.120 --> 01:12:26.360
You can go to relationshipbreakthroughretreat.com

1290
01:12:26.360 --> 01:12:28.200
and see that it's $9.97,

1291
01:12:28.200 --> 01:12:29.480
but the only way to do it

1292
01:12:29.480 --> 01:12:32.920
is to go to missingpiecebook.com slash rainmaker.

1293
01:12:32.920 --> 01:12:34.840
We've had people who closed the window

1294
01:12:34.840 --> 01:12:37.320
and came back and got a second free book

1295
01:12:37.320 --> 01:12:39.480
just to get to the ticket window.

1296
01:12:39.480 --> 01:12:42.440
It's worth $9.95 to get $700 off.

1297
01:12:42.440 --> 01:12:43.320
Like, that's your call.

1298
01:12:43.320 --> 01:12:44.640
That's your choice.

1299
01:12:44.640 --> 01:12:48.520
But technically, that's the only way the technology works,

1300
01:12:48.520 --> 01:12:50.320
if that makes sense.

1301
01:12:50.360 --> 01:12:55.360
Yeah, and then is the offer available past, like, today?

1302
01:12:55.480 --> 01:12:56.320
If they can't get it today?

1303
01:12:56.320 --> 01:12:59.640
Yes, you can use the slash rainmaker offer.

1304
01:12:59.640 --> 01:13:01.360
You can use that for a few days.

1305
01:13:01.360 --> 01:13:05.240
So, like, make it happen, get in there and get it,

1306
01:13:05.240 --> 01:13:06.520
and it'll be there for you.

1307
01:13:06.520 --> 01:13:09.560
If you go to that page and it's still open,

1308
01:13:09.560 --> 01:13:11.080
that means we still have books.

1309
01:13:11.080 --> 01:13:15.560
So, we ordered a certain amount of books for this class.

1310
01:13:15.560 --> 01:13:18.680
And so, if you go there and it's still open,

1311
01:13:18.680 --> 01:13:21.320
if the form still lets you process the free book,

1312
01:13:21.320 --> 01:13:23.800
then it's still available and you can get one.

1313
01:13:23.800 --> 01:13:24.640
Okay, great.

1314
01:13:24.640 --> 01:13:26.680
I think that sums up all of the, like,

1315
01:13:26.680 --> 01:13:31.360
detailed about your next steps and your event, y'all.

1316
01:13:31.360 --> 01:13:32.640
This is incredible.

1317
01:13:32.640 --> 01:13:37.640
And so, the next question is relationship-related.

1318
01:13:41.920 --> 01:13:46.920
So, anybody who's been in a abusive relationship

1319
01:13:49.280 --> 01:13:52.440
I think I'll throw addiction in there as well.

1320
01:13:52.440 --> 01:13:53.280
Sure.

1321
01:13:53.280 --> 01:13:57.520
What does that look like with the loop?

1322
01:13:57.520 --> 01:13:58.480
Yeah, for sure.

1323
01:13:58.480 --> 01:14:02.000
So, what you will see in the introduction to this book

1324
01:14:02.000 --> 01:14:07.000
is that relationship development is a skills-based method

1325
01:14:07.360 --> 01:14:12.200
and it is only a solution for relationship issues.

1326
01:14:12.200 --> 01:14:13.440
And so, I will tell you,

1327
01:14:13.440 --> 01:14:16.440
as somebody who's been doing this for many, many years,

1328
01:14:16.480 --> 01:14:19.000
physical abuse is not a relationship issue.

1329
01:14:19.000 --> 01:14:22.760
It's a violence issue and it needs solutions for violence.

1330
01:14:22.760 --> 01:14:25.080
Addiction is not a relationship issue.

1331
01:14:25.080 --> 01:14:26.600
It's an addiction issue

1332
01:14:26.600 --> 01:14:29.000
and it needs a solution for addiction.

1333
01:14:29.000 --> 01:14:31.520
By the way, I really recommend Annie Grace,

1334
01:14:31.520 --> 01:14:32.480
This Naked Mind.

1335
01:14:32.480 --> 01:14:36.320
Her book has changed so many hundreds of thousands,

1336
01:14:36.320 --> 01:14:38.320
millions of lives of people

1337
01:14:38.320 --> 01:14:41.040
who are navigating issues with addiction.

1338
01:14:41.040 --> 01:14:46.040
So, our skillset, there is no skillset on earth

1339
01:14:46.120 --> 01:14:48.360
that can stop somebody from hurting you physically.

1340
01:14:48.360 --> 01:14:51.760
Please, if anyone is being hurt physically,

1341
01:14:51.760 --> 01:14:55.360
get a solution for that violence immediately.

1342
01:14:55.360 --> 01:14:56.880
Get yourself to safety.

1343
01:14:56.880 --> 01:14:58.480
Please do not tell anyone,

1344
01:14:58.480 --> 01:15:00.160
oh, with a little bit of skillset.

1345
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.480
Stop it, it's enough already, it's 2025.

1346
01:15:03.480 --> 01:15:06.160
Violence is not a marriage issue or a relationship issue,

1347
01:15:06.160 --> 01:15:09.020
it's violence, it needs to be stopped.

1348
01:15:09.020 --> 01:15:12.560
So there are several things that are not relationship issues

1349
01:15:12.560 --> 01:15:15.240
and need other skills to solve.

1350
01:15:15.240 --> 01:15:20.240
I will say this though, if you are in a safe place,

1351
01:15:20.360 --> 01:15:24.840
but you, like myself and millions of people in the world,

1352
01:15:24.840 --> 01:15:29.080
unfortunately, have experienced violence in the past

1353
01:15:29.120 --> 01:15:31.920
with relationships, there's some healing

1354
01:15:31.920 --> 01:15:34.320
that needs to be done and some very real work

1355
01:15:34.320 --> 01:15:37.080
that we need to do in order to be able to feel safe

1356
01:15:37.080 --> 01:15:41.440
in a safe relationship, that work we do all the time.

1357
01:15:41.440 --> 01:15:43.440
I don't think you can not do it,

1358
01:15:43.440 --> 01:15:46.280
it's part of the work with the majority,

1359
01:15:46.280 --> 01:15:48.680
the vast majority of people that I work with.

1360
01:15:48.680 --> 01:15:52.680
And the other piece is if you have a partner

1361
01:15:52.680 --> 01:15:54.840
who is going through addiction issues

1362
01:15:54.840 --> 01:15:57.040
or recovery with addiction,

1363
01:15:57.040 --> 01:16:00.720
those cause relationship issues, they're very real.

1364
01:16:00.720 --> 01:16:03.640
And we do that exceptionally well.

1365
01:16:03.640 --> 01:16:06.280
Our skillsets work extremely well for that

1366
01:16:06.280 --> 01:16:09.240
because when it comes to not wanting

1367
01:16:09.240 --> 01:16:14.240
to unknowingly trigger somebody who's going through recovery

1368
01:16:14.360 --> 01:16:18.840
or trying to change their relationship with a substance,

1369
01:16:18.840 --> 01:16:20.640
it's really important to understand

1370
01:16:20.640 --> 01:16:22.640
how different people are wired.

1371
01:16:22.640 --> 01:16:26.840
And the foundation of everything that we do in our method

1372
01:16:27.520 --> 01:16:29.080
is actually understanding how people

1373
01:16:29.080 --> 01:16:31.160
are wired differently than you.

1374
01:16:31.160 --> 01:16:32.320
There's nothing wrong with them,

1375
01:16:32.320 --> 01:16:33.720
there's nothing wrong with you,

1376
01:16:33.720 --> 01:16:35.520
it's just that people are wired differently.

1377
01:16:35.520 --> 01:16:38.120
And when we don't know that we unnecessarily

1378
01:16:38.120 --> 01:16:40.440
trigger other people, when it would be

1379
01:16:40.440 --> 01:16:42.600
the perfectly right thing to say to you

1380
01:16:42.600 --> 01:16:44.040
and anybody who's wired like you,

1381
01:16:44.040 --> 01:16:46.520
but for someone else, unfortunately,

1382
01:16:46.520 --> 01:16:48.800
the best of intentions don't translate.

1383
01:16:48.800 --> 01:16:51.000
So we're kind of like Google Translate

1384
01:16:51.000 --> 01:16:54.680
for talking to people who are wired differently than you.

1385
01:16:54.680 --> 01:16:55.880
And when it comes to someone

1386
01:16:55.880 --> 01:16:59.360
who's navigating addiction or recovering from addiction,

1387
01:16:59.360 --> 01:17:02.120
for sure, that is one of the things

1388
01:17:02.120 --> 01:17:05.320
that we do really, really well.

1389
01:17:05.320 --> 01:17:10.160
And adultery, no, I don't feel that adultery

1390
01:17:10.160 --> 01:17:12.760
falls into the addiction category at all.

1391
01:17:12.760 --> 01:17:15.720
I do feel that adultery can become a vehicle

1392
01:17:15.720 --> 01:17:18.240
for people who keep running to the end of their skillset

1393
01:17:18.240 --> 01:17:21.520
for how to navigate what they're feeling any other way.

1394
01:17:21.520 --> 01:17:23.200
And it just becomes a vehicle,

1395
01:17:23.200 --> 01:17:25.400
kind of like ice cream when you're watching TV

1396
01:17:25.920 --> 01:17:27.600
and it becomes a vehicle and before you know it,

1397
01:17:27.600 --> 01:17:29.640
you're like, I need to make a change with this.

1398
01:17:29.640 --> 01:17:32.360
And I'm not trying to equate adultery to ice cream.

1399
01:17:32.360 --> 01:17:34.840
It's a very, very serious thing.

1400
01:17:34.840 --> 01:17:37.680
But we of course have solutions for that.

1401
01:17:37.680 --> 01:17:41.720
If our methodology couldn't solve adultery and affairs,

1402
01:17:41.720 --> 01:17:42.800
it'd be garbage.

1403
01:17:42.800 --> 01:17:45.120
Like how could we have possibly survived

1404
01:17:45.120 --> 01:17:48.320
when at least 40% of studies are showing right now

1405
01:17:48.320 --> 01:17:50.480
of people who will admit it,

1406
01:17:50.480 --> 01:17:53.360
admit that they have been outside their marriage.

1407
01:17:53.400 --> 01:17:57.320
And that is a symptom of where the relationship is

1408
01:17:57.320 --> 01:18:01.480
at a point in time after the buildup of a brick wall.

1409
01:18:01.480 --> 01:18:04.920
And I'm not saying, I'm never, ever, ever gonna tell you

1410
01:18:04.920 --> 01:18:08.160
like, oh, just forget, again, those stupid platitudes,

1411
01:18:08.160 --> 01:18:09.880
just forget, are you kidding me?

1412
01:18:09.880 --> 01:18:11.880
Somebody put their parts in someone else's parts.

1413
01:18:11.880 --> 01:18:12.880
It's a big deal.

1414
01:18:12.880 --> 01:18:14.400
But like, that's just me, I'm sorry.

1415
01:18:14.400 --> 01:18:16.240
And by the way, if language really bothers you,

1416
01:18:16.240 --> 01:18:17.920
you're gonna hate our event

1417
01:18:17.920 --> 01:18:21.600
because that is just who we are.

1418
01:18:21.640 --> 01:18:25.080
We use it in passion and in humor.

1419
01:18:25.080 --> 01:18:27.600
We never use it in an offensive way,

1420
01:18:27.600 --> 01:18:30.680
but it's up to you whether you want to engage with that.

1421
01:18:30.680 --> 01:18:31.640
It's never gonna change.

1422
01:18:31.640 --> 01:18:34.880
So, but it is a big deal.

1423
01:18:34.880 --> 01:18:38.400
In our book, we actually dedicated an entire chapter

1424
01:18:38.400 --> 01:18:41.440
on how trust actually works,

1425
01:18:41.440 --> 01:18:44.320
not what people have been told for centuries.

1426
01:18:44.320 --> 01:18:46.120
You can't just trust someone.

1427
01:18:46.120 --> 01:18:48.320
When someone's like, you just have to trust me,

1428
01:18:48.320 --> 01:18:50.400
they don't know how trust works.

1429
01:18:50.400 --> 01:18:54.400
Trust and mistrust are a boomerang.

1430
01:18:54.400 --> 01:18:56.400
The trigger already happened.

1431
01:18:56.400 --> 01:18:58.280
You can't just fight with the boomerang

1432
01:18:58.280 --> 01:19:00.880
and change how you feel what happened.

1433
01:19:00.880 --> 01:19:02.360
However, there are processes,

1434
01:19:02.360 --> 01:19:03.640
there are levers you can pull,

1435
01:19:03.640 --> 01:19:06.040
there are different things you can put into the loop

1436
01:19:06.040 --> 01:19:09.080
to actually build trust and to rebuild trust.

1437
01:19:09.080 --> 01:19:10.960
And the answer to the most common question

1438
01:19:10.960 --> 01:19:14.520
we get asked about that is yes, of course,

1439
01:19:14.520 --> 01:19:18.400
after infidelity, a relationship can be rebuilt

1440
01:19:18.400 --> 01:19:20.000
if you want to.

1441
01:19:20.600 --> 01:19:22.600
You don't have to, but if you want to,

1442
01:19:22.600 --> 01:19:24.400
and healing needs to happen

1443
01:19:24.400 --> 01:19:26.720
regardless of whether you want to or not,

1444
01:19:26.720 --> 01:19:30.360
because I will tell you after decades of doing this work,

1445
01:19:30.360 --> 01:19:33.040
infidelity is a pattern that repeats

1446
01:19:33.040 --> 01:19:35.800
and not just for the person who strayed,

1447
01:19:35.800 --> 01:19:37.800
but for the cheated upon.

1448
01:19:37.800 --> 01:19:40.820
Unfortunately, when we are the cheated upon,

1449
01:19:40.820 --> 01:19:44.560
we unknowingly are putting a victim's trigger

1450
01:19:44.560 --> 01:19:47.120
into the loop with people that invite,

1451
01:19:47.120 --> 01:19:49.080
not saying it's your fault, it's not your fault,

1452
01:19:49.080 --> 01:19:51.560
please don't tell me I'm saying it's your fault, it's not,

1453
01:19:51.560 --> 01:19:53.000
but it is a proven pattern

1454
01:19:53.000 --> 01:19:55.840
and people who get cheated on keep getting cheated on

1455
01:19:55.840 --> 01:19:58.200
until they learn how to show up in relationship

1456
01:19:58.200 --> 01:20:00.040
from an empowered place where

1457
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:01.520
that stops happening,

1458
01:20:01.520 --> 01:20:04.060
and we learn how to solve the bricks and the wall.

1459
01:20:04.060 --> 01:20:06.060
It's so in-depth.

1460
01:20:06.060 --> 01:20:08.060
There's nothing I could say to you in three minutes

1461
01:20:08.060 --> 01:20:10.900
to convey everything that we teach on this topic,

1462
01:20:10.900 --> 01:20:13.380
but we did put a whole chapter on trust

1463
01:20:13.380 --> 01:20:14.740
and rebuilding trust.

1464
01:20:14.740 --> 01:20:16.220
And on day three of RBR,

1465
01:20:16.220 --> 01:20:19.740
we go through trust, rapport, and influence,

1466
01:20:19.740 --> 01:20:23.240
and how to actually build those in a relationship.

1467
01:20:24.220 --> 01:20:26.220
So real, so good.

1468
01:20:26.220 --> 01:20:28.640
And just like to add a cherry on top

1469
01:20:28.640 --> 01:20:30.340
of the vulnerability here,

1470
01:20:30.340 --> 01:20:33.200
the other question is about narcissism.

1471
01:20:33.200 --> 01:20:34.320
Is that?

1472
01:20:35.900 --> 01:20:38.140
Yes, so yeah.

1473
01:20:38.960 --> 01:20:41.320
Look, you might not love what I have to say.

1474
01:20:41.320 --> 01:20:44.020
I say a lot of things that people don't love,

1475
01:20:44.020 --> 01:20:46.580
but I'm always going to tell you the truth.

1476
01:20:46.580 --> 01:20:48.580
Right now in today's world,

1477
01:20:48.580 --> 01:20:53.580
narcissism has become a synonym to selfishness.

1478
01:20:53.640 --> 01:20:54.640
Selfishness.

1479
01:20:55.640 --> 01:20:57.800
And that is completely false.

1480
01:20:57.800 --> 01:21:00.640
Narcissism is an actual condition.

1481
01:21:00.640 --> 01:21:01.960
Like it's like legit.

1482
01:21:01.960 --> 01:21:03.920
I'm not a therapist or a psychiatrist,

1483
01:21:03.920 --> 01:21:04.760
and I never will be,

1484
01:21:04.760 --> 01:21:06.440
so I don't know what it is,

1485
01:21:06.440 --> 01:21:08.800
but I know it's not selfishness.

1486
01:21:08.800 --> 01:21:12.200
So, but people throw the word narcissism around

1487
01:21:12.200 --> 01:21:14.560
to be a synonym with they're only thinking

1488
01:21:14.560 --> 01:21:16.880
about themselves and they're selfish.

1489
01:21:16.880 --> 01:21:19.220
Well, newsflash for you,

1490
01:21:19.220 --> 01:21:23.240
that is most of the 7 billion people

1491
01:21:23.240 --> 01:21:27.840
on planet Earth right now have endured so much pain

1492
01:21:27.840 --> 01:21:32.200
and so much upset from this leftover dynamic

1493
01:21:32.200 --> 01:21:34.900
that has made it so hard for us to relate to each other

1494
01:21:34.900 --> 01:21:37.140
when there are differences between us,

1495
01:21:37.140 --> 01:21:41.000
that most people feel like other people are being selfish

1496
01:21:41.000 --> 01:21:43.360
and only thinking of themselves.

1497
01:21:43.360 --> 01:21:46.840
When the biggest block between two people

1498
01:21:46.840 --> 01:21:51.840
is that their world is so different from your world.

1499
01:21:51.980 --> 01:21:54.500
In fact, masculine and feminine beings

1500
01:21:54.500 --> 01:21:58.320
even use vocabulary words that mean two different things.

1501
01:21:58.320 --> 01:22:01.580
The masculine, that vocabulary word means one thing.

1502
01:22:01.580 --> 01:22:02.980
For the feminine, it means something else,

1503
01:22:02.980 --> 01:22:06.720
and we're using the same words and we have no idea.

1504
01:22:06.720 --> 01:22:10.760
So he feels unheard, she feels unsupported,

1505
01:22:10.760 --> 01:22:13.020
and there's an unnecessary kerfuffle,

1506
01:22:13.020 --> 01:22:16.320
and each other can call the other person selfish

1507
01:22:16.320 --> 01:22:18.380
for being in their world.

1508
01:22:18.380 --> 01:22:23.280
What's really going on is people have become self-centric.

1509
01:22:23.280 --> 01:22:24.660
It's actually not a bad word,

1510
01:22:24.660 --> 01:22:26.700
it's not even derogatory to say that

1511
01:22:26.700 --> 01:22:28.180
when you say it factually.

1512
01:22:28.180 --> 01:22:32.580
Self-centric means I have had so much pain

1513
01:22:32.580 --> 01:22:35.500
or so much kerfuffle, or I'm so suspicious,

1514
01:22:35.500 --> 01:22:37.760
or I've had so many negative experiences

1515
01:22:37.760 --> 01:22:40.380
that everything that gets done or said,

1516
01:22:40.380 --> 01:22:42.240
I'm kind of running through that filter

1517
01:22:42.240 --> 01:22:43.980
of like, how is this gonna affect me?

1518
01:22:43.980 --> 01:22:46.680
How could this possibly negatively affect my kids?

1519
01:22:46.680 --> 01:22:50.100
What is the negative, like what's coming

1520
01:22:50.100 --> 01:22:51.740
that I could possibly prevent?

1521
01:22:51.740 --> 01:22:53.920
Because I've had it up to here,

1522
01:22:53.920 --> 01:22:56.160
I don't have any more room in my life

1523
01:22:56.160 --> 01:23:00.760
for any other problems, and it's actually not a bad thing.

1524
01:23:00.760 --> 01:23:03.880
You're trying to be protective of yourself,

1525
01:23:03.880 --> 01:23:06.520
and when we become moms, we add each kid to this.

1526
01:23:06.520 --> 01:23:10.000
It's like, now I have to predict how I can not get hurt,

1527
01:23:10.000 --> 01:23:11.640
and each one of my little cubs,

1528
01:23:11.640 --> 01:23:13.980
wherever they are, the school bus, whatever,

1529
01:23:13.980 --> 01:23:17.380
like, mommy's coming, I'm going to prevent anybody

1530
01:23:17.380 --> 01:23:18.860
from saying anything to you.

1531
01:23:18.860 --> 01:23:22.500
Like, we take on so much, and it makes us

1532
01:23:22.500 --> 01:23:24.980
what is factually self-centric,

1533
01:23:24.980 --> 01:23:27.840
meaning that we're running things through our filter

1534
01:23:27.840 --> 01:23:32.840
of how can I prevent this from negatively impacting me,

1535
01:23:32.840 --> 01:23:35.100
my spouse, all my little ones,

1536
01:23:35.100 --> 01:23:37.700
and then people can view that

1537
01:23:37.700 --> 01:23:40.700
as you being focused on you and your world

1538
01:23:40.720 --> 01:23:43.480
when you're not doing that with bad intentions,

1539
01:23:43.480 --> 01:23:45.740
you actually have the best of intentions.

1540
01:23:45.740 --> 01:23:49.080
So people throw narcissism around

1541
01:23:49.080 --> 01:23:52.320
as an adjective right now to mean selfish,

1542
01:23:52.320 --> 01:23:54.160
and it's completely just demonstrating

1543
01:23:54.160 --> 01:23:57.240
that they themselves just ran to the end of their skillset

1544
01:23:57.240 --> 01:23:59.360
because there actually is a mental condition

1545
01:23:59.360 --> 01:24:01.920
revolving around the word narcissism,

1546
01:24:01.920 --> 01:24:03.660
and I think it should be used by the people

1547
01:24:03.660 --> 01:24:05.560
who actually have that profession

1548
01:24:05.560 --> 01:24:07.320
and know what they're talking about,

1549
01:24:07.320 --> 01:24:09.020
but I will also say that, unfortunately,

1550
01:24:09.040 --> 01:24:12.120
the masculine gets a really bad rap.

1551
01:24:12.120 --> 01:24:14.400
I think it's a very often common dynamic

1552
01:24:14.400 --> 01:24:16.960
that the feminine is throwing around words

1553
01:24:16.960 --> 01:24:20.200
like jerk and insensitive and narcissism,

1554
01:24:20.200 --> 01:24:22.700
and just because the masculine operates,

1555
01:24:22.700 --> 01:24:24.560
and you'll learn so much more about this,

1556
01:24:24.560 --> 01:24:28.160
in their own way of autonomously processing

1557
01:24:28.160 --> 01:24:30.360
using much fewer words than the feminine,

1558
01:24:30.360 --> 01:24:33.520
and the masculine is not tribal by nature

1559
01:24:33.520 --> 01:24:36.060
because they are autonomous processors,

1560
01:24:36.060 --> 01:24:38.640
so the feminine, who is always thinking

1561
01:24:38.640 --> 01:24:40.880
about everybody's feelings in that room

1562
01:24:40.880 --> 01:24:44.540
and everybody who should, all people should be included,

1563
01:24:44.540 --> 01:24:47.640
everybody should be connected, no one should be left out,

1564
01:24:47.640 --> 01:24:50.640
he's never gonna necessarily operate that way organically

1565
01:24:50.640 --> 01:24:51.920
because he's an autonomous being

1566
01:24:51.920 --> 01:24:54.040
and he's totally not wired like you,

1567
01:24:54.040 --> 01:24:57.320
but he can develop a skillset to be part of a family,

1568
01:24:57.320 --> 01:25:00.200
which is what men have been doing and trying to do.

1569
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:03.880
But unless this is explained, it's totally off of his radar.

1570
01:25:03.880 --> 01:25:04.880
It doesn't make him a dick.

1571
01:25:04.880 --> 01:25:06.840
It just makes him autonomous.

1572
01:25:06.840 --> 01:25:10.960
He is a good person with good intentions who never got the skills that you never got either.

1573
01:25:10.960 --> 01:25:12.760
And that doesn't make him selfish.

1574
01:25:12.760 --> 01:25:15.840
He's just an autonomous being.

1575
01:25:15.840 --> 01:25:18.540
Masculine people process autonomously.

1576
01:25:18.540 --> 01:25:21.280
The feminine processes connectively.

1577
01:25:21.280 --> 01:25:22.840
They're very different.

1578
01:25:22.840 --> 01:25:25.120
Neither one is superior to the other.

1579
01:25:25.120 --> 01:25:27.640
No one is wrong for how they're wired.

1580
01:25:27.640 --> 01:25:32.040
But if we don't learn these bridges, we're unnecessarily causing kerfuffles.

1581
01:25:32.040 --> 01:25:36.480
And then we feel misunderstood and unheard when we're only showing up with the best of

1582
01:25:36.480 --> 01:25:38.640
intentions to do the best that we can.

1583
01:25:38.640 --> 01:25:43.560
And they will tell you, the feminine is unbelievably resilient and will go to the ends of the earth

1584
01:25:43.560 --> 01:25:46.300
to protect the people she loves.

1585
01:25:46.300 --> 01:25:52.200
And the masculine will happily take the sword and die for the person that he committed to

1586
01:25:52.200 --> 01:25:53.200
for marriage.

1587
01:25:53.200 --> 01:25:59.320
And that's literally, in his mind, what he signed up for is you before me and this is

1588
01:25:59.320 --> 01:26:00.320
it.

1589
01:26:00.320 --> 01:26:01.320
I'm getting you to the finish line.

1590
01:26:01.320 --> 01:26:02.320
All of your dreams.

1591
01:26:02.320 --> 01:26:03.320
All of your goals.

1592
01:26:03.320 --> 01:26:04.320
That's my job.

1593
01:26:04.320 --> 01:26:05.320
I will get you there.

1594
01:26:05.320 --> 01:26:06.320
I will get these kids there.

1595
01:26:06.320 --> 01:26:07.360
I have a job to do.

1596
01:26:07.360 --> 01:26:10.560
And what he needs and wants doesn't even matter to him.

1597
01:26:10.560 --> 01:26:15.680
But they're so misunderstood, the masculine and feminine are so misunderstood that we

1598
01:26:15.680 --> 01:26:18.400
use feminine labels for what we see.

1599
01:26:18.400 --> 01:26:23.160
They use masculine labels for what they see, but it's just not accurate.

1600
01:26:23.160 --> 01:26:26.840
We need these bridges because there's so much unnecessary kerfuffle.

1601
01:26:26.840 --> 01:26:30.800
The truth is, we're here to heal each other, just like all humans.

1602
01:26:30.800 --> 01:26:33.640
It's kind of why we also named it the missing piece.

1603
01:26:33.640 --> 01:26:38.100
All humans have similarities and all humans have differences.

1604
01:26:38.100 --> 01:26:43.560
And you need all different people, like pieces of a puzzle, to make the beautiful picture

1605
01:26:43.560 --> 01:26:45.680
of the tapestry of humanity.

1606
01:26:45.680 --> 01:26:47.920
Nobody's wrong for being who they are.

1607
01:26:47.920 --> 01:26:50.240
We need everybody coming together.

1608
01:26:50.240 --> 01:26:51.240
Boom.

1609
01:26:51.240 --> 01:26:52.240
Boom.

1610
01:26:52.320 --> 01:26:53.320
Boom.

1611
01:26:53.320 --> 01:26:54.320
Boom, baby.

1612
01:26:54.320 --> 01:26:55.320
Yes.

1613
01:26:55.320 --> 01:26:56.320
Okay.

1614
01:26:56.320 --> 01:27:02.560
I feel like we're heating up the passion, and I just have two more questions.

1615
01:27:02.560 --> 01:27:07.560
I see all of your questions that are to me, and in here we've got two more.

1616
01:27:07.560 --> 01:27:15.880
So that's where we'll tap out now, and then she'll be back for round two in a couple months.

1617
01:27:15.880 --> 01:27:21.320
So the first question is, what would you say to somebody who's single, or maybe they're

1618
01:27:21.320 --> 01:27:25.240
dating, they now have this awareness?

1619
01:27:25.240 --> 01:27:26.240
Do they...

1620
01:27:26.240 --> 01:27:27.240
What would you...

1621
01:27:27.240 --> 01:27:28.240
Is that a...

1622
01:27:28.240 --> 01:27:29.240
Yeah.

1623
01:27:29.240 --> 01:27:32.640
So get the book, come to the event, because I cannot tell you.

1624
01:27:32.640 --> 01:27:35.720
First of all, the skill set is for you.

1625
01:27:35.720 --> 01:27:37.400
Dating is...

1626
01:27:37.400 --> 01:27:42.080
Uncommitted relationships is the number one hardest phase of relationship to survive for

1627
01:27:42.080 --> 01:27:43.920
any human.

1628
01:27:43.960 --> 01:27:47.280
At least when there's commitment, especially when there's children, people will do a lot

1629
01:27:47.280 --> 01:27:51.320
more than they are willing to do when they can just walk away.

1630
01:27:51.320 --> 01:27:58.920
So getting through to a happy, peaceful outcome through dating is the actual hardest phase

1631
01:27:58.920 --> 01:28:01.480
of relationship you will ever get through.

1632
01:28:01.480 --> 01:28:04.160
Please, get the book, come to the event.

1633
01:28:04.160 --> 01:28:07.040
It is absolutely for you.

1634
01:28:07.040 --> 01:28:11.920
And so many people have said, oh, I'm going to get that skill set when I meet someone,

1635
01:28:11.920 --> 01:28:13.520
and then it's like, oh, it's too late.

1636
01:28:14.120 --> 01:28:17.200
You didn't know you were meeting them, and an hour and a half, you're going to walk into

1637
01:28:17.200 --> 01:28:19.640
a room and meet the love of your life.

1638
01:28:19.640 --> 01:28:20.640
You just need...

1639
01:28:20.640 --> 01:28:24.920
Better to be prepared than to already be like, I've only known them six days, and I think

1640
01:28:24.920 --> 01:28:26.520
I already put this thing in the toilet.

1641
01:28:26.520 --> 01:28:27.520
What do I do?

1642
01:28:27.520 --> 01:28:31.200
So maybe read the book, come to the event, and be ready.

1643
01:28:31.200 --> 01:28:32.720
That is so good.

1644
01:28:32.720 --> 01:28:37.800
I don't know any other singles in the room, but when you said this is the hardest stage

1645
01:28:37.800 --> 01:28:41.680
to get through, to get to the commitment, I'm like, oh, that feels good.

1646
01:28:41.840 --> 01:28:44.240
Yes, I feel that.

1647
01:28:44.240 --> 01:28:46.560
And then what about...

1648
01:28:46.560 --> 01:28:48.920
So the loop, right?

1649
01:28:48.920 --> 01:28:50.880
The loop of the relationship.

1650
01:28:50.880 --> 01:28:57.880
So what happens when the reactions are not consistent from a person in the same situation?

1651
01:28:57.880 --> 01:29:03.000
In other words, sometimes the action yields a positive boomerang, and then the same action

1652
01:29:03.000 --> 01:29:06.280
in a different situation may be a negative boomerang.

1653
01:29:06.280 --> 01:29:07.280
Yeah.

1654
01:29:07.280 --> 01:29:10.120
So here's what I'll say.

1655
01:29:10.120 --> 01:29:12.200
It's not about their reaction.

1656
01:29:12.200 --> 01:29:14.260
It's about your lenses.

1657
01:29:14.260 --> 01:29:19.240
So you're viewing that trigger as the same in both, getting a different boomerang, but

1658
01:29:19.240 --> 01:29:20.640
it's not.

1659
01:29:20.640 --> 01:29:26.920
And I know that's easy for you to say, Stacey, and it is easy for me to say, because I can

1660
01:29:26.920 --> 01:29:29.940
see all the loops, and you don't have them yet.

1661
01:29:29.940 --> 01:29:32.400
But there's so much more that goes into the loop.

1662
01:29:32.400 --> 01:29:34.580
There's energy that goes into the loop.

1663
01:29:34.580 --> 01:29:36.920
There's action that goes into the loop.

1664
01:29:36.920 --> 01:29:38.640
And there are bricks in the wall.

1665
01:29:38.640 --> 01:29:42.840
So there are different situations that create different boomerangs.

1666
01:29:42.840 --> 01:29:48.640
Trying to guess the trigger boomerang combinations is a losing battle.

1667
01:29:48.640 --> 01:29:49.760
You don't need to do that.

1668
01:29:49.760 --> 01:29:52.560
We've been documenting hundreds of these for years.

1669
01:29:52.560 --> 01:29:56.520
We're happy to give them to you because they're accurate and they're tested among thousands

1670
01:29:56.520 --> 01:29:57.520
of people.

1671
01:29:57.520 --> 01:29:59.520
So I would say, ask us first.

1672
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:05.280
the boomerang and then ask us what's what the trigger was and what the solution is.

1673
01:30:05.280 --> 01:30:11.120
That's what we do all day every day. All of our events, our programs all come with our

1674
01:30:11.920 --> 01:30:18.320
Facebook community, our private group where our leaders are in there. We provide 24-7 support to

1675
01:30:18.320 --> 01:30:24.080
every single student 365 days a year. So there's no way you would have a question that we couldn't

1676
01:30:24.080 --> 01:30:29.040
answer and we will answer it. So instead of guessing what the trigger boomerang combination

1677
01:30:29.040 --> 01:30:33.200
is because you'll be wrong and I love you but you'll definitely be wrong. Just come and ask us

1678
01:30:33.200 --> 01:30:42.080
and we'll definitely tell you what it is. Oh so good, so good. Well you guys, I am going to drop

1679
01:30:42.080 --> 01:30:48.160
the book one more time. Okay this is Arlene. This is for us. Grab that, pay the shipping,

1680
01:30:48.160 --> 01:30:56.240
get the RBR event at the craziest price she's done yet. Thank you Stacey. Thank you

1681
01:30:57.040 --> 01:31:05.200
so so much. You guys, how good was this? How good was this? This touches all of us. We are all

1682
01:31:05.200 --> 01:31:12.880
in relationship with somebody and we talk about having tools for so many other areas of our life.

1683
01:31:13.760 --> 01:31:22.800
What about our relationships? So thank you Stacey for the missing piece. Thank you for gracing us

1684
01:31:22.800 --> 01:31:33.360
with your just presence, your energy, your passion. I want to say this, you guys. We're,

1685
01:31:33.360 --> 01:31:38.960
this is a group of entrepreneurs. I just feel like we can look at you Stacey for a moment and say

1686
01:31:38.960 --> 01:31:45.360
look what following your calling, your passion and going can create. I mean you literally,

1687
01:31:46.080 --> 01:31:56.080
I feel like you could teach for years. Who else wants to be there in their life?

1688
01:31:56.080 --> 01:32:03.680
Who else wants to be like Stacey having an overflow? I want to be there. I just feel like

1689
01:32:03.680 --> 01:32:08.960
you're such an inspiration even for our community of people who are stepping in their CEO identity

1690
01:32:08.960 --> 01:32:14.640
and stepping into building something that they're passionate about. You guys see it's possible.

1691
01:32:16.320 --> 01:32:23.600
Stacey's here to testify to that. Amen. So glad to be here. Thank you so much for opening the

1692
01:32:23.600 --> 01:32:29.680
space and making it possible. Yes. So right now we have it on the calendar. Is it okay that I

1693
01:32:29.680 --> 01:32:36.000
drop the date we currently have on the calendar right now for you to come back? Yeah, let's not

1694
01:32:36.000 --> 01:32:42.080
drop the date on the calendar just yet. We're not going to do that. We'll make sure. But definitely

1695
01:32:42.080 --> 01:32:47.600
get your book, come to the event. We're here to help. We'll do whatever we can to help you

1696
01:32:47.600 --> 01:32:56.240
with whatever you're focused on right now. Yay. All right, you guys have an amazing Monday.

1697
01:32:57.840 --> 01:33:04.000
May your relationships just like level up this week. And by that meaning you get to level up

1698
01:33:04.000 --> 01:33:10.640
this week. You get to be in charge and empower yourself. So yay. Thank you guys. Have an amazing

1699
01:33:10.640 --> 01:33:17.920
rest of your week. And thank you so much, Stacey. We will see you guys later. Bye.