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All right. Welcome to Heart Check-In Monday night, May 5th of all things. May 5th. It's

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May already. May 5th, 2025. Welcome all. And we missed last week. Although, was there

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a little action last week? Was there?

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Last Monday?

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Yes.

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Well, there was nothing.

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Well.

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I think a couple of us hung out in the call and just kind of.

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Oh, did you? Okay. I missed some.

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It was a good time. Yeah.

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I wanted to.

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We share dad jokes.

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Nice. I wanted to recap that, if possible. So, Abram, did you end up doing, I sent you

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my email late. I don't know if you saw that. He's looking for the unmute button while he's

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at the Italian restaurant.

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Can you guys hear me?

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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Okay. I'm on my phone for the first time ever. So, yeah. Yeah. So, I just went over like

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some little financial tips about. Okay. Long story short. So, I'll try to do this fast.

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So, can everybody hear me? Okay. So, if you shop at Target, right, they have a Target

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credit card they offer. You get 5% back on all purchases. So, if you shop at Target,

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go apply for the card. Amazon. Amazon has a credit card. You apply for the card, you

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get 3% back if you use the card on all purchases on Amazon. All right. You shop on Amazon,

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go get the credit card. All right. I have credit cards that I use to get 5% back on

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my gas bill. So, every time I go get gas, the gas is never going down, guys. It's only

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going to go up. I get 5% cash back using a credit card for my gas bill. I have another

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credit card I use that when I spend it at grocery stores for food, I get 5% back. Now,

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this is not going to work for all stores. So, for example, stores that are exclusive

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to Big Box or Costco, Mark's, Target, these places, they have their own like little deals.

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But if you go to a local grocery store, like I live out here in Fresno, California, so like

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Save Mart or Food Max or Food Co or WinCo, if you use certain cards or whatever, they will

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work at these places. You get 5% back on food. All right. So, this is free money that you're

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going to spend anyways. It's running costs. And then I also use other credit cards to help me

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save 5% on my utility bill. So, that's energy bill. I don't know about you guys, but that

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could be anywhere from $200 to $800. I know folks that are spending a lot of money every month,

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especially here in Fresno where it gets super hot. So, our AC bills get like crazy high.

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So, utility bills, sewage, water, gas, internet apps, your phone bill.

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I might be missing one other bill where you could use different credit cards,

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use their rewards, get up to 5% back. Now, some credit cards will give you 1%, 2%,

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but I figured out which credit cards that I can get the most percentage, the highest percentage

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for the category. And if you guys probably know this already, but credit cards have different

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categories, right? They have travel. So, like Dave, for you and Jackie, right? You guys,

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you should be swiping cards on stuff. And that way you guys are in mileage points, right? So,

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when you go on these trips, save you some money. Now, the catch is this. When it comes to using

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all these credit cards, you have to pay the bill off every month, the whole bill.

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Because you don't use the credit when you don't have the money. You're just using these cards

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like a debit card, right? Where running costs, you're going to spend the money no matter what,

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and you pay it off every month. So, number one, what does that do? You never incur interest,

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right? These credit cards are 15%, 20%, 25%, 30%. It's unsecured. It's not a secured loan.

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They have super high interest rates. So, you always pay it off every month. You never get

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any interest rates, and you're constantly building your credit at the same time while

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lowering your overall running costs. So, that's long story short.

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Yeah, I love it. So, this is-

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That's all I got.

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As a disclaimer, this is Abrams' view of-

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Yes, my individual view, not anybody in the community or this community's view.

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This is my personal view.

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Yeah, this is Abrams' advice that he wanted to pass along, share with us in terms of

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what he does in order to cut corners, earn money, and do that on a-

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on a wide scale yeah sounds like you can save or get cash back up to 20 25 30

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percent if you total them all up on your on yeah I mean that could be that could

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be one to two grand a year for somebody and if you're making 30 to 40 grand a

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year that's a big deal you know if you're balling out making the 80 to 120

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I mean that's a different story but you're an average person hey saving a

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couple grand every year that's a big deal yeah yeah I can be sounds good

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thank you for sharing that appreciate that and I yeah I do have the rewards

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cards I've chosen Delta as my chosen traveler and we knock the heck out of

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those cards and pay them off and all of our business stuff and everything so

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yeah no it's definitely it's been an advantage to us for sure all right guys

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welcome on here we got 12 guys it's really cool it's really great what is

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going on we had a fabulous time in Cartagena Colombia and it was a last

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trip single last week we had 13 ladies that were taking their last trip single

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this was an opportunity for them to attend this event and just you know

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they're meeting me and Jackie for the first time which a lot of them felt very

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privileged and happy to do that but at the same time it was an opportunity for

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them to meet the other ladies that came on the trip from the community some of

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them had been with the community for a couple years actually one of one of the

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ladies was really an OG with us and it was really cool meeting her in person

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and we just felt like you know it's just a great opportunity to take a trip and

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where you want to travel and go with people that you don't really know but

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you kind of sort of know because you're in the same video community and but then

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you could know them deeper and we just had a lot of fun and there were some

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really cool spiritual moments we had some with some sort of like you know

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artwork sessions that we did in person that was fun and some prophetic

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activation we had a one of the evenings we have a the the girl there the woman

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that does our trip she lives in Florida but she's originally from Cartagena and

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she was born and raised there and she suggested Cartagena as this for this

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trip last year and this year because of her you know local knowledge and she

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does an incredible job of putting everything together the schedule we

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don't think about anything she just we just do Angela whatever Angela tells us

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to do we just do it and it's great she's got all the food arranged and some of

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the meals are included and some of the so we went people went horseback riding

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we did like spa days we took a boat to the Rosario Island and spent afternoon

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and on a private island you know in our own little you know cabana and it was

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just really cool we did a lot of cool fun stuff when they took salsa dancing

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lessons and that night we went to the Havana like like live music Caribbean

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sounds you know club and it was just really awesome and danced and we had a

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rooftop dinner farewell dinner at the very end it was just really cool you

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know Cartagena's you can do a lot of things for very cheap there and Angela

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does a great job of putting that together and there was a local there's a

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local lady that is also a part of our community that lives in Cartagena and

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she's actually a speech therapist and so she is obviously speaks English and

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Spanish she is a very elegant successful lady and she lives there some of the

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places you would not believe like you think I don't know whatever you imagine

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when I say Columbia everybody has an imagination in their mind like what that

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looks like or what that means or what that what that feels like but Cartagena

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is a coastal city and it is really Caribbean no so it's like really close

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to the Caribbean I don't know if you know if you look at a map Columbia is

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kind of on the north side of South America and this particular city is

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right on the sort of a sort of the very top northern edge and it is a it is a

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port city and it's got a very Colombian or excuse me it's a very Caribbean you

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know

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Captain Jack Sparrow sort of vibe to it's 500 year old city

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We we stayed within the the walled city and that city is 500 years old

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The Spanish built it way back when and it wasn't just an incredible experience, but the lady that's local

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She put together

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on her own accord

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You rented the hotel room rented the little conference room and had a conference for locals

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Spanish speaking there was about I think eight ladies that came that only speak Spanish. We wrote to hand out our

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about 20 copies of her

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La labor del corazón, which is the heart work in Spanish translated in Spanish

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And we gave 20 copies of those away to those ladies and multiple copies

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So they could give them their friends and so forth. And so we were just

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Privileged to be there and minister to them speak to them

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Jackie was sharing just the basic heart core the core heart work message and the last year single, you know

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invitation to

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To to do family and to do it well and to do marriage and do life well, and so it was really cool

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they were really

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transformed and

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blessed by just the opportunity for us to minister to them and

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And of course, that's Jackie

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Imagine Jackie having to stop every five seconds as she's speaking and have an interpreter like do like

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I don't know if you've ever spoke with an interpreter like you're doing the speaking and then you're being interpreted

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but that's not easy, especially if you're used to used to speaking and used to just going and talking and

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Stream of consciousness and then but you have to stop every five seconds to have somebody interpret what you're saying

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So that that's not an easy task. So Jackie's, you know doing that and she did a great job

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And so it's just a really great trip. So that's kind of where we were last week and it was all good and

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people were really

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Set free there was some deliverance and people were still doing some some some heart work

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But mind shifts and heart shifts and all kinds of different things. So it's just really really cool. So

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I've always said and maintained that

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You open up a zoom

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Online group and a thousand women will come and they'll just within five minutes share all their deepest darkest secrets

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you know be willing to like open up and talk about a bunch of things and just be great about it and everything and and

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Then then say hey, do you want to go on a trip? They're like, yes, of course. I want to go on a trip, right?

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But you do the same thing to men and it's crickets

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Men don't show up. They're like, no, I'm not doing that not showing up in the zoom. I'm certainly not talking about my feelings

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I'm certainly talking about anything revealing anything or being vulnerable to anybody about anything, you know, especially on a zoom

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So it takes a while for men to warm up to this whole even just coming together, you know sort of thing

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I don't know if you guys know John Chris the comedian, but he has a whole bit about like, you know, you you

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You sell out a women's event in two seconds and you can have the men's event on sale for 18 months and nobody ever signs

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up for it I

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Said but I I've always maintained if you take men out into the woods for the weekend

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Handful of men out in the woods for the weekend, you know, you made friends for life

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you know because there'll be there'll just be something about going out and doing

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Killing something or just tear it up crap and burning stuff and whatever and having to survive

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you know the

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cold or whatever that just brings men together and

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You know

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You got the manly men and then you got like that like really soft skin like, you know

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No calluses on the hands guys that are out there too. And they're just like toughen it and acting like they're

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you know, they're they're surviving more than they really are and you get that experience and

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You connect with men and then you might get them to open up a little bit and

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you can have a zoom call and you follow up and you know start something that way and I've always said that about men and

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Our program sort of reflects a little bit of that in terms of just the difficulty. It is to connect with men. So anyway

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I would be willing to to try to put together a men's event sometime this year sometime in the near future

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Something like that. I don't know if any of you would be interested in that

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but

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Maybe you have some suggestions. Maybe you have some ideas. Maybe you have

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You know doesn't have to be like super elaborate

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You know the expense to get there and you know have food and shelter and whatnot

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And it doesn't have to be a full-on out in the woods experience either could be something else that you know

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That kind of comes up. So anyway, I want to entertain those ideas. Should you have those I'm not asking for them right now

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but if you want to submit that and you know, put that in email me or or the team and

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What's your email address?

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My email is David at JaneMedia.org.

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Oh, so you run that route, okay, thank you.

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David, my name, at JaneMedia.

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I'm sure y'all know by now that that's the name

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of our company, JaneMedia.org, not .com, .org

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on that email address, .org.

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Wonderful.

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So yeah, if you have any thoughts on that,

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you have any connections,

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you have any, like, you know,

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there are lots of people that do, like,

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little men's retreats and tour groups.

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It's like, they're in business to do that, you know,

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and you can hire them to go out and you can,

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so sometimes that even works out a little better

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because I don't have to go out and plan anything to do.

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I would be terrible at doing that.

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And, but somebody could take you out in the woods

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and put you on a horse or take you out in the desert

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and ride motorcycles.

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I know a guy that actually does,

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has a sort of desert thing.

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California and takes people out in the desert

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and rides motorcycles and kind of crazy.

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Anyway, so I'm just throwing that out there.

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That'd be kind of fun to do a men's retreat,

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like to meet some of you guys, all of you guys in person.

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And I know not everybody would be able to maybe make that

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or do that, but we'll see what we can put together.

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So this week, guys, what is going on?

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How are you doing?

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Who's got a win?

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Who's got something you want to process?

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Who's got something that is going on?

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Did you got questions about?

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Yeah.

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Who's got their hand raised?

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Let's see, what's going on?

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Hunter, Kenton.

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I'll start up here.

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Hunter, let's hear what you got

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and then we'll have Kenton and then whoever else.

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Well, I was, you were thinking about that

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while you and Jackie were away on some overseas trip,

221
00:16:59.440 --> 00:17:01.760
I went to one of the events in Cleveland,

222
00:17:01.760 --> 00:17:03.080
the May 3rd one,

223
00:17:03.080 --> 00:17:06.000
where they had singles event and bowling event.

224
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I drove out to Ohio, not just to see that,

225
00:17:09.079 --> 00:17:12.680
but I also drove out to see how things in my home state

226
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are like and see my mom and dad and mom.

227
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That's a far drive for you.

228
00:17:17.359 --> 00:17:18.200
Wow.

229
00:17:18.200 --> 00:17:21.400
No, it's only, it was a little bit about eight hours drive,

230
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eight hour drive.

231
00:17:23.040 --> 00:17:27.040
So I drove out there and I came down and I found,

232
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and I went down there and saw Chrissy and Brittany.

233
00:17:31.480 --> 00:17:33.840
And of course, I try to,

234
00:17:33.840 --> 00:17:36.880
everybody tries to go in and tries to meet people,

235
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all the people they can, but try to ask questions.

236
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But me, I try to go out and be the best version of myself.

237
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Usually what happens is, sure, you may not meet a,

238
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I figure, you know what?

239
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And of course, Chrissy complimented saying,

240
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I'm building some confidence in it.

241
00:17:52.280 --> 00:17:55.560
I build some confidence and I try to stay in touch,

242
00:17:55.560 --> 00:17:59.280
but I try to stay in touch with it and building confidence.

243
00:17:59.280 --> 00:18:01.240
And then everything ended.

244
00:18:01.240 --> 00:18:03.360
Sure, I may not meet anybody, but you know what?

245
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Putting myself out there is all I can do.

246
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And then submit it to God is usually-

247
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Did you have a good time?

248
00:18:08.720 --> 00:18:09.560
What?

249
00:18:09.560 --> 00:18:10.600
Did you have a good time?

250
00:18:10.600 --> 00:18:12.040
Yes, and I had a good time.

251
00:18:12.040 --> 00:18:14.080
I got to bowl and I got to meet people

252
00:18:14.080 --> 00:18:16.240
and a lot of them are local in the area.

253
00:18:16.240 --> 00:18:17.960
And I told them, I live in New York.

254
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So I figured, you know what?

255
00:18:19.160 --> 00:18:20.760
If I don't meet anyone, oh, well,

256
00:18:20.760 --> 00:18:23.040
it's just good to meet someone from your home state.

257
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And maybe if you can get a relationship,

258
00:18:25.360 --> 00:18:28.120
you can marry and move back.

259
00:18:28.120 --> 00:18:29.840
So I go back and had a good time.

260
00:18:29.840 --> 00:18:32.440
And I ask questions to make them feel special,

261
00:18:32.440 --> 00:18:35.040
but not make myself as relevant

262
00:18:35.040 --> 00:18:36.920
and try not to keep them bored

263
00:18:36.920 --> 00:18:39.800
and ask questions like interview kind of stuff.

264
00:18:39.800 --> 00:18:41.720
But, and then all the people

265
00:18:41.720 --> 00:18:42.920
in the last year singles group,

266
00:18:42.920 --> 00:18:45.640
we all got our group photos together.

267
00:18:45.640 --> 00:18:46.520
Nice.

268
00:18:46.520 --> 00:18:48.720
And it's basically like one of the singles

269
00:18:48.720 --> 00:18:50.520
where people get together and we try to make,

270
00:18:51.280 --> 00:18:53.160
how we get all these devices to make it happen

271
00:18:53.160 --> 00:18:54.720
so you can meet somebody.

272
00:18:54.720 --> 00:18:56.880
But I figured, you know what?

273
00:18:56.880 --> 00:18:57.880
Let's just go ahead and do it.

274
00:18:57.880 --> 00:18:59.200
That's all I can do.

275
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But I think it's something people are expecting

276
00:19:01.280 --> 00:19:04.360
to meet their partner and they don't.

277
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The more you try, and I figured,

278
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the more you try to expect to meet your partner,

279
00:19:08.560 --> 00:19:10.920
the less likely you're gonna meet them,

280
00:19:10.920 --> 00:19:12.640
the less likely it's gonna happen.

281
00:19:12.640 --> 00:19:14.920
It's basically, you go there to have fun.

282
00:19:14.920 --> 00:19:17.840
So I went out and got back and I drove back to New York

283
00:19:17.840 --> 00:19:20.200
and I told them, I told Chrissy and Brittany

284
00:19:21.200 --> 00:19:23.120
that I would, Tom, I make it home safe.

285
00:19:23.120 --> 00:19:24.880
And I told them then, it's like, great.

286
00:19:24.880 --> 00:19:26.560
And it's like, how'd you like it?

287
00:19:26.560 --> 00:19:29.680
And she goes, that's great because that's,

288
00:19:29.680 --> 00:19:30.920
oh, that's, oh, I liked it.

289
00:19:30.920 --> 00:19:32.200
I like, they're a nice people.

290
00:19:32.200 --> 00:19:33.040
How about you?

291
00:19:33.040 --> 00:19:33.880
It's like, oh, good.

292
00:19:33.880 --> 00:19:35.520
I got to go back and come back.

293
00:19:35.520 --> 00:19:38.520
And it was nice seeing how things in my homestay were,

294
00:19:38.520 --> 00:19:39.680
even with Chrissy.

295
00:19:41.120 --> 00:19:42.400
Nice, nice.

296
00:19:42.400 --> 00:19:44.160
Well, good, I'm glad you went out there for that.

297
00:19:44.160 --> 00:19:46.520
I'm glad you had a good time, made some connections.

298
00:19:46.520 --> 00:19:49.720
And yeah, so welcome to that.

299
00:19:50.160 --> 00:19:52.400
Chrissy's, I'm already, Chrissy's,

300
00:19:52.400 --> 00:19:54.160
Brittany, I'm in a level two one.

301
00:19:54.160 --> 00:19:58.160
And I think maybe Chrissy, I might be in level one

302
00:19:58.160 --> 00:20:00.120
or level two, but I think I'm gonna.

303
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:02.880
Let's try to get in contact with them in messenger.

304
00:20:02.880 --> 00:20:05.960
It's like the more you think about it, the more you get anxious, you turn

305
00:20:05.960 --> 00:20:10.080
into this ancient adjustment rather than submit to God and you can become a solid.

306
00:20:10.640 --> 00:20:11.360
Sounds good.

307
00:20:11.820 --> 00:20:12.200
Yes.

308
00:20:12.200 --> 00:20:12.720
Yes.

309
00:20:13.480 --> 00:20:13.760
Good.

310
00:20:13.760 --> 00:20:14.800
Thanks for sharing Hunter.

311
00:20:14.800 --> 00:20:15.680
Appreciate that.

312
00:20:16.480 --> 00:20:20.200
Um, Kenton, David, uh, I got your hands up.

313
00:20:20.200 --> 00:20:21.920
So Kenton, what do you got for us tonight?

314
00:20:22.160 --> 00:20:22.680
Hey, good.

315
00:20:23.120 --> 00:20:26.520
Oh, you guys probably know I was dating a young lady for the last year and a half.

316
00:20:26.520 --> 00:20:31.000
And it was sort of a God set up in which, uh, when I first met her, just Lord, just

317
00:20:31.000 --> 00:20:36.520
download his life, her life right in front of my eyes and, uh, what was going on in

318
00:20:36.520 --> 00:20:38.320
her life and showed me a lot of different things.

319
00:20:38.320 --> 00:20:41.600
And I explained that to her and it was like, she just fell apart because she

320
00:20:41.600 --> 00:20:44.600
didn't think anybody knew all about that in her life.

321
00:20:44.600 --> 00:20:47.360
And of course it was a scary thing because she never met

322
00:20:47.360 --> 00:20:49.240
anybody that was prophetic before.

323
00:20:49.960 --> 00:20:51.800
And I, it was, it was anything.

324
00:20:51.800 --> 00:20:55.560
And then the Lord asked me, he was, he was preparing me before that gentleman.

325
00:20:56.000 --> 00:21:01.400
Literally I was reading books, articles about the prodigal son slash daughter.

326
00:21:01.480 --> 00:21:06.280
And, um, who was the prophet who married the prostitute?

327
00:21:07.240 --> 00:21:09.880
Isaiah, I believe he was anyway.

328
00:21:11.000 --> 00:21:14.920
So anyway, so, uh, that whole thing was together and she fits right in that

329
00:21:14.920 --> 00:21:16.840
category, she keeps on running away from men.

330
00:21:17.520 --> 00:21:20.600
And so for the last year and a half, Lord asked me just to literally to

331
00:21:20.600 --> 00:21:24.920
love on her unconditionally, which was interesting because that's my first

332
00:21:24.920 --> 00:21:27.880
assignment I've ever had to do that would have to love somebody unconditionally,

333
00:21:27.880 --> 00:21:33.680
never expect anything in return in doing so it was a real process for me too.

334
00:21:33.680 --> 00:21:39.440
But we came to an end here about two weeks ago in which she just could not

335
00:21:39.440 --> 00:21:43.520
commit to, to, um, what did they say?

336
00:21:44.320 --> 00:21:45.960
To moving forward into marriage.

337
00:21:46.640 --> 00:21:50.040
And, uh, she's always using the element that, you know, she didn't want to lose

338
00:21:50.040 --> 00:21:53.520
her girls because she had screwed up her first life, et cetera, et cetera.

339
00:21:54.280 --> 00:21:56.640
And so she was not willing to move forward.

340
00:21:56.640 --> 00:22:00.160
So I says I had to, well, we'll have to bring this one to an end then, because

341
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:04.000
I've been waiting for a year now and I don't think you're going to be moving

342
00:22:04.000 --> 00:22:08.440
forward any day soon, but she still wanted to stay in contact with me as well too.

343
00:22:08.440 --> 00:22:14.040
So I'm now moving forward again now into looking for a woman again.

344
00:22:14.040 --> 00:22:16.320
So I definitely need your prayers for one thing.

345
00:22:18.000 --> 00:22:21.600
Um, I'm going to let this young lady keep on contact me.

346
00:22:21.600 --> 00:22:26.720
So I keep on encouraging her until that time at which, um, I'm involved

347
00:22:26.720 --> 00:22:29.360
with another relationship, then of course it has to be broken up.

348
00:22:29.360 --> 00:22:30.840
That's only the right thing to do.

349
00:22:31.920 --> 00:22:38.560
So I just, uh, just want to get back out there again and just, uh, start looking.

350
00:22:39.360 --> 00:22:39.680
Yeah.

351
00:22:39.680 --> 00:22:40.880
Yeah, absolutely.

352
00:22:41.560 --> 00:22:42.000
Okay.

353
00:22:42.440 --> 00:22:45.200
Well, definitely we'll be agreeing with you in that journey

354
00:22:45.280 --> 00:22:47.640
and sorry, that didn't work out.

355
00:22:48.240 --> 00:22:55.760
Um, but yeah, that's, that's kind of the, I love your, your sense of pursuit

356
00:22:56.000 --> 00:23:00.680
in what it is that you're looking for, what you want, what you feel like God

357
00:23:00.680 --> 00:23:03.080
has for you, so that's admirable.

358
00:23:03.080 --> 00:23:10.360
That's not, we don't find that a lot actually in, um, in our society today.

359
00:23:10.360 --> 00:23:16.080
This is kind of like why, you know, our last year single program exists is to

360
00:23:16.080 --> 00:23:22.320
encourage, you know, men and women who are marriage minded, that there is,

361
00:23:22.440 --> 00:23:27.360
there's preparation and work to be done in order to reach the finish line.

362
00:23:27.360 --> 00:23:32.800
As you would say, if you would say reach the altar in relationship, because,

363
00:23:32.800 --> 00:23:38.000
um, you know, it's just, it doesn't, it doesn't just happen happenstance

364
00:23:38.000 --> 00:23:42.880
magically, nothing, nothing in life usually does happen by happenstance.

365
00:23:43.280 --> 00:23:45.640
I mean, there's definitely positioning.

366
00:23:45.960 --> 00:23:49.920
And again, I'm not trying to say that it's about a bunch of work.

367
00:23:50.480 --> 00:23:53.160
It's just about doing that's what hard work is about.

368
00:23:54.840 --> 00:23:58.320
I don't know if you know this or not guys, but hard work is not about hard work.

369
00:23:58.880 --> 00:24:01.160
Matter of fact, Jackie jokes a lot.

370
00:24:01.160 --> 00:24:07.840
She says, if I named my book titled my book, the hard work, there actually would

371
00:24:07.840 --> 00:24:10.920
have been probably a lot of people interested in going, oh yeah, I need that

372
00:24:10.920 --> 00:24:14.240
book, the hard work, you know, and everything, because it's, it's noble

373
00:24:14.240 --> 00:24:16.760
and it's righteous sounding, you know, it's, it sounds like, you know, it's

374
00:24:16.760 --> 00:24:22.200
like, you know, yeah, it's like a good thing, but hard work isn't hard work.

375
00:24:22.800 --> 00:24:28.520
It's just work that's necessary that a lot of people just don't want to be

376
00:24:28.520 --> 00:24:30.920
vulnerable and transparent enough to do.

377
00:24:31.320 --> 00:24:34.280
They don't want to be honest enough with themselves to

378
00:24:34.320 --> 00:24:35.880
authentically do the hard work.

379
00:24:36.360 --> 00:24:41.840
And heart work is required because it's the preparation that brings you into your

380
00:24:41.840 --> 00:24:45.320
best self that then makes you the most attractive.

381
00:24:46.000 --> 00:24:49.920
I, we, there was a question and answer session that we did with the

382
00:24:49.920 --> 00:24:51.200
ladies when we were in Columbia.

383
00:24:52.080 --> 00:24:55.240
And they, those ladies grilled me for about an hour.

384
00:24:56.240 --> 00:24:59.040
Why, you know, what's the deal with men?

385
00:24:59.040 --> 00:25:00.040
What's the deal with, you know?

386
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:02.880
Like they're asking, like, we want to know from a guy's perspective, you know,

387
00:25:02.880 --> 00:25:07.120
and I'm like, Oh Lord, like, I don't know if I should have opened this up or not,

388
00:25:07.120 --> 00:25:13.280
you know, type of thing. But, you know, the ladies are just as, you know,

389
00:25:14.880 --> 00:25:23.680
how many of you think ladies are just a stereotype, right? How many of you think just most

390
00:25:23.680 --> 00:25:35.200
ladies are, what was the word I was thinking of? That they're not confident, that they're insecure.

391
00:25:38.560 --> 00:25:41.760
I think they're human. So all the above.

392
00:25:42.480 --> 00:25:44.320
All the above. Yeah.

393
00:25:44.320 --> 00:25:47.520
I'm finding, David, that a lot of them are not only insecure, but they're also

394
00:25:48.240 --> 00:25:49.600
immature in their faith still.

395
00:25:49.600 --> 00:25:55.440
Yeah. I mean, well, I mean, Kent, you've been working with the Lord for a long time. So,

396
00:25:55.440 --> 00:26:01.680
I mean, like anybody you'd meet probably would be in that space, but you're right,

397
00:26:01.680 --> 00:26:07.920
underdeveloped in a lot of ways, men the same way. And I talked about to the ladies, I said,

398
00:26:07.920 --> 00:26:13.600
you know, first of all, we're having, if we want to admit it or not, whether or not we want to

399
00:26:13.600 --> 00:26:21.040
admit it, we're having a masculinity crisis in our culture, in our world at large. We just are,

400
00:26:21.760 --> 00:26:31.920
you know. If you want to put it this way, where's the war? Where is the passion? Where is the,

401
00:26:31.920 --> 00:26:37.680
you know, where is the resolve? Where's the resolute purpose of why we exist, type thing,

402
00:26:37.680 --> 00:26:41.040
right? A lot of people will say, you know, men are the way they are, it's because we haven't

403
00:26:41.040 --> 00:26:46.560
had a war in a long time. And I don't know, maybe historically, maybe anthropologically,

404
00:26:46.560 --> 00:26:52.400
sociologically, that might be a little bit of truth to that. But at the same time, there's also

405
00:26:52.400 --> 00:27:01.040
an enemy of your soul that has a strategic alignment against just identity, period.

406
00:27:01.600 --> 00:27:12.720
And the way it affects men is in their ability to be humble, or excuse me, meek. Meekness,

407
00:27:12.720 --> 00:27:17.280
and I've talked about this before, meekness is not weakness, meekness is power under control.

408
00:27:18.880 --> 00:27:24.240
So that requires several things. It first and foremost requires men to recognize that they have

409
00:27:24.240 --> 00:27:33.920
power. And it also requires men to understand that there is a responsibility with that power.

410
00:27:35.280 --> 00:27:45.440
You can't just react Neanderthal and just break stuff and break people and just react in,

411
00:27:46.560 --> 00:27:51.040
you know, passion and anger, nothing, everything doesn't get fixed with a hammer

412
00:27:51.040 --> 00:27:57.840
type of thing. Right? Men have a tendency to just, you know, in their own self,

413
00:27:58.640 --> 00:28:03.920
to want to fix things, and they'll fix things and they'll fix it with brute force and strength.

414
00:28:04.720 --> 00:28:12.640
And in an unredeemed and unrighteous way, men, left to their own devices,

415
00:28:13.200 --> 00:28:18.560
will just take what they want. And if they can't have it easily, they'll do it by force.

416
00:28:19.520 --> 00:28:26.720
They'll wickedly scheme and plan to do things and terrible abominations. Right? I mean,

417
00:28:27.840 --> 00:28:35.200
how many women are starting wars? How many women are committing atrocious crimes? Right?

418
00:28:37.440 --> 00:28:43.200
It's mostly men doing these terrible, horrible things. That's men who are unrighteous,

419
00:28:43.280 --> 00:28:48.480
left to their own devices. We have thousands of years of history of that. Right?

420
00:28:49.680 --> 00:28:57.120
But at the same time, it's like, what are we supposed to do? We've talked a lot about this

421
00:28:57.840 --> 00:29:00.960
from a man's perspective. What are we supposed to do in this modern age

422
00:29:02.240 --> 00:29:09.120
with this power, this authority, this manliness, this masculinity? It requires us to be very

423
00:29:09.200 --> 00:29:15.040
intentional. It requires us to step up into responsibility. It requires us to step up in

424
00:29:15.040 --> 00:29:25.360
maturity to go, what's the kind of man that I can be that not only is humble and kind,

425
00:29:25.920 --> 00:29:33.200
but has respect in the marketplace, has respect in society, has respect in family, has respect

426
00:29:33.840 --> 00:29:42.320
as a provider. Right? That's a huge challenge that we're dealing with.

427
00:29:45.200 --> 00:29:58.080
I was trying to get the ladies to understand that it's okay for you ladies to relax a little bit on

428
00:29:58.080 --> 00:30:05.440
men.

429
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.080
to not be such traumatically tied

430
00:30:04.080 --> 00:30:06.580
to all the men that have failed you in your life.

431
00:30:07.840 --> 00:30:11.200
And for you to, this is what we talk about,

432
00:30:11.200 --> 00:30:13.400
drop the hanky for ladies,

433
00:30:13.400 --> 00:30:16.560
and give men a little bit of a clue.

434
00:30:17.900 --> 00:30:20.340
I tell people all the time that men generally

435
00:30:20.340 --> 00:30:23.340
are kind of clueless when it comes to relationship.

436
00:30:23.340 --> 00:30:25.200
You know, there's some guys that are really suave

437
00:30:25.200 --> 00:30:27.340
and they're cool and they've got their kind of Don Juan

438
00:30:27.340 --> 00:30:28.180
and all that kind of stuff.

439
00:30:28.180 --> 00:30:33.120
Most men, especially if they're interested in a chick

440
00:30:33.120 --> 00:30:34.400
and they're interested in a woman,

441
00:30:34.400 --> 00:30:36.160
they're like, man, she's really pretty.

442
00:30:36.160 --> 00:30:37.000
I don't know what to say to her.

443
00:30:37.000 --> 00:30:37.840
I don't know what to do.

444
00:30:37.840 --> 00:30:39.700
I don't even know even if I would do anything,

445
00:30:39.700 --> 00:30:41.240
like how that would even come across

446
00:30:41.240 --> 00:30:42.320
and would she even like it

447
00:30:42.320 --> 00:30:44.340
and would she be even open to it?

448
00:30:44.340 --> 00:30:49.340
And it's just like, ladies, give men a hanky drop.

449
00:30:51.920 --> 00:30:53.660
Give them the benefit of the doubt.

450
00:30:53.660 --> 00:30:56.280
Give them an opportunity to pursue you.

451
00:30:57.260 --> 00:31:00.120
No, quit being so like, you know,

452
00:31:02.980 --> 00:31:06.380
just resistant, all your walls up,

453
00:31:06.380 --> 00:31:08.740
all that kind of thing, you know, have it all figured out.

454
00:31:08.740 --> 00:31:10.860
If you can catch me, you can have me type thing.

455
00:31:10.860 --> 00:31:13.260
You're like, you know, can you keep up type thing?

456
00:31:13.260 --> 00:31:17.460
Like, no, that is so not the vibe

457
00:31:17.460 --> 00:31:21.440
that we want to put across in the kingdom perspective

458
00:31:21.440 --> 00:31:23.160
of being pursued.

459
00:31:23.980 --> 00:31:28.980
And of course we teach in last year single, right?

460
00:31:29.220 --> 00:31:33.540
Proverbs 18, 22, when a man finds a wife,

461
00:31:33.540 --> 00:31:38.200
we teach ladies to become the wife that they aspire to be.

462
00:31:38.200 --> 00:31:41.060
We also teach the men to become the man

463
00:31:41.060 --> 00:31:42.220
that they aspire to be.

464
00:31:43.220 --> 00:31:44.780
It's not when a husband finds wife,

465
00:31:44.780 --> 00:31:48.700
it's when a man finds a wife,

466
00:31:48.700 --> 00:31:51.420
he's found a good thing and obtained favor of the Lord.

467
00:31:53.740 --> 00:31:56.720
So the wind, that's an invitation.

468
00:31:56.720 --> 00:32:00.060
That's an invitation for you to become all the man

469
00:32:00.060 --> 00:32:03.380
that you can be to go pursue a woman

470
00:32:03.380 --> 00:32:06.400
who's been preparing herself as a wife.

471
00:32:06.400 --> 00:32:07.900
And when you find her and she's like,

472
00:32:07.900 --> 00:32:10.700
not just a hot woman, like a beautiful woman,

473
00:32:10.700 --> 00:32:14.860
but she's a wife, she is one who is willing to

474
00:32:16.500 --> 00:32:20.300
stand alongside and to help as a helpmate,

475
00:32:20.760 --> 00:32:24.280
that's a powerful thing.

476
00:32:24.280 --> 00:32:26.120
You're obtaining favor of the Lord.

477
00:32:26.120 --> 00:32:27.320
You're finding a good thing.

478
00:32:27.320 --> 00:32:28.320
You're finding a powerful thing.

479
00:32:28.320 --> 00:32:29.840
That's what you're looking for.

480
00:32:30.720 --> 00:32:33.160
Any reactions to that, guys?

481
00:32:33.160 --> 00:32:34.700
Questions?

482
00:32:34.700 --> 00:32:35.540
I do, Dave.

483
00:32:35.540 --> 00:32:36.360
Comments, concerns?

484
00:32:36.360 --> 00:32:37.200
Yeah.

485
00:32:37.200 --> 00:32:39.680
I'd be interested to know what the ladies are being told

486
00:32:39.680 --> 00:32:43.320
on what it looks like to drop a hanky today,

487
00:32:43.320 --> 00:32:44.580
especially today.

488
00:32:44.580 --> 00:32:46.200
I mean, the olden days, the knights and everything else,

489
00:32:46.200 --> 00:32:48.360
they drop a hanky, it was obvious.

490
00:32:48.380 --> 00:32:50.500
And they dropped it and the knight would pick it up.

491
00:32:50.500 --> 00:32:52.800
But what are they being taught and told today?

492
00:32:55.260 --> 00:32:58.460
I mean, they're told to,

493
00:32:58.460 --> 00:33:01.900
a lot of it is just the posturing of their attitude.

494
00:33:01.900 --> 00:33:05.240
Like, you know, when a guy asks you out on a date,

495
00:33:06.380 --> 00:33:08.580
you know, unless you've got a good reason

496
00:33:08.580 --> 00:33:09.680
to not go on the date,

497
00:33:09.680 --> 00:33:11.700
like you literally have an appointment

498
00:33:11.700 --> 00:33:14.980
or like you're like ill or something,

499
00:33:14.980 --> 00:33:16.780
you go on the date.

500
00:33:16.800 --> 00:33:18.680
It doesn't matter whether you look at the guy and go,

501
00:33:18.680 --> 00:33:20.560
oh, that's not my type, whatever.

502
00:33:20.560 --> 00:33:22.620
But the same thing with the guys.

503
00:33:22.620 --> 00:33:23.880
It's like you go on the date.

504
00:33:23.880 --> 00:33:24.800
Why do you go on the date?

505
00:33:24.800 --> 00:33:27.540
Because that's why we teach it's a yes until it's a no.

506
00:33:27.540 --> 00:33:29.400
The reason that's a powerful statement is

507
00:33:29.400 --> 00:33:34.400
is because you have to go through the rudiments.

508
00:33:35.440 --> 00:33:37.180
You have to get to know people.

509
00:33:38.080 --> 00:33:41.420
You can't just dismiss somebody after a first date

510
00:33:41.420 --> 00:33:43.900
because you weren't vibing with them.

511
00:33:45.480 --> 00:33:46.720
You know what I'm saying?

512
00:33:47.720 --> 00:33:51.160
I mean, it's a yes until it's a strong no

513
00:33:51.160 --> 00:33:52.880
to pursue this person.

514
00:33:52.880 --> 00:33:56.440
And it's worthy to get to know this person.

515
00:33:56.440 --> 00:34:00.320
So as we're training women in this way, right?

516
00:34:00.320 --> 00:34:02.600
It's worthy to get to know somebody.

517
00:34:02.600 --> 00:34:05.860
We're training women, hey, be easy to get to know.

518
00:34:08.159 --> 00:34:13.159
You know, be interested in what the guy has to say.

519
00:34:13.719 --> 00:34:16.159
Be interested, don't just be completely talking

520
00:34:16.219 --> 00:34:18.920
about yourself the whole time and completely, you know,

521
00:34:21.659 --> 00:34:26.659
vapid, let the guy pay, you know?

522
00:34:26.780 --> 00:34:30.980
I believe that if it's gonna be a date,

523
00:34:30.980 --> 00:34:34.100
I'm a guy, when I was dating Jackie

524
00:34:34.100 --> 00:34:36.540
for the time that we knew each other

525
00:34:36.540 --> 00:34:40.100
and we weren't married, I mean, I paid for everything.

526
00:34:40.100 --> 00:34:43.380
And I even went in the hole to pay for everything.

527
00:34:43.400 --> 00:34:46.360
I was not doing well at the time of my life,

528
00:34:46.360 --> 00:34:51.360
but I was not going to at all let her pay for anything

529
00:34:51.960 --> 00:34:53.280
unless she just did it and, you know,

530
00:34:53.280 --> 00:34:54.480
I didn't have anything to do with it.

531
00:34:54.480 --> 00:34:59.480
There was just no way I was going to do that because

532
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.240
Cause that's just not only the way I was raised,

533
00:35:02.240 --> 00:35:04.840
but I just felt like that was putting my best,

534
00:35:04.840 --> 00:35:09.440
strong man foot forward, right?

535
00:35:09.440 --> 00:35:11.160
But at the same time,

536
00:35:11.160 --> 00:35:13.280
you have some situations where like,

537
00:35:13.280 --> 00:35:14.680
women are offended by that.

538
00:35:14.680 --> 00:35:16.760
Women are like, oh, this and that.

539
00:35:16.760 --> 00:35:17.600
What does that mean?

540
00:35:17.600 --> 00:35:19.280
And they're like, I don't want to be handled.

541
00:35:19.280 --> 00:35:21.060
And I don't want to be like, you know,

542
00:35:21.060 --> 00:35:22.160
there's all kinds of different things.

543
00:35:22.160 --> 00:35:24.900
It's like, just be easy to be found.

544
00:35:24.900 --> 00:35:26.840
If you're going to be a wife and you are a wife,

545
00:35:26.840 --> 00:35:28.300
then be easy to be found.

546
00:35:30.000 --> 00:35:34.200
You know, so we teach,

547
00:35:34.200 --> 00:35:38.280
we teach the ladies and we teach them things like,

548
00:35:38.280 --> 00:35:42.780
hey, if you got a PhD, that PhD don't mean nothing.

549
00:35:42.780 --> 00:35:43.980
You may be the boss at work,

550
00:35:43.980 --> 00:35:44.820
but you're going to be,

551
00:35:44.820 --> 00:35:47.680
you're not going to be the boss in this relationship.

552
00:35:47.680 --> 00:35:49.360
And that doesn't mean the man is going to be the boss.

553
00:35:49.360 --> 00:35:50.720
It means nobody's going to be the boss.

554
00:35:50.720 --> 00:35:51.760
It's not about being the boss.

555
00:35:51.760 --> 00:35:53.400
It's about being in relationship.

556
00:35:55.080 --> 00:35:57.840
You know, so many women who are the boss at work,

557
00:35:57.840 --> 00:35:59.240
want to come into a relationship

558
00:35:59.280 --> 00:36:03.880
and handle their relationship like they are their workload.

559
00:36:03.880 --> 00:36:06.880
You know, they're the manager, they're in charge.

560
00:36:06.880 --> 00:36:07.760
I'm making the plans.

561
00:36:07.760 --> 00:36:12.400
I'm making the thing like, no, let the guy make the gesture.

562
00:36:12.400 --> 00:36:15.880
Let the guy come up with an idea for the date.

563
00:36:15.880 --> 00:36:18.200
Let the guy lead, you know,

564
00:36:18.200 --> 00:36:20.320
don't just think you have to lead.

565
00:36:20.320 --> 00:36:22.520
Give him the space, give him the opportunity

566
00:36:23.700 --> 00:36:26.320
and do it in grace when he's not good at it.

567
00:36:26.320 --> 00:36:28.120
And he's not used to leading.

568
00:36:28.120 --> 00:36:30.760
And he's obviously not doing things the right way

569
00:36:30.760 --> 00:36:31.840
because women, they're like,

570
00:36:31.840 --> 00:36:34.800
they know all the things that are supposed to go on a date.

571
00:36:34.800 --> 00:36:39.680
Give him the grace to go, this guy's trying.

572
00:36:39.680 --> 00:36:41.600
You can tell he's trying.

573
00:36:41.600 --> 00:36:44.560
Women know when men are trying or when they're not trying.

574
00:36:46.560 --> 00:36:51.000
And as long as the guy is trying to do his best to try to,

575
00:36:51.000 --> 00:36:52.840
wow, like maybe impress this woman

576
00:36:52.840 --> 00:36:56.120
or trying to get her attention or trying to do like,

577
00:36:57.080 --> 00:36:59.040
give the guy the opportunity to do that.

578
00:37:00.440 --> 00:37:01.560
It's a powerful thing.

579
00:37:02.640 --> 00:37:06.640
Dave, we're in the 21st century.

580
00:37:06.640 --> 00:37:10.280
Women should be able to allow to call a guy

581
00:37:10.280 --> 00:37:11.360
and say, listen, I'm interested.

582
00:37:11.360 --> 00:37:12.560
Are you interested?

583
00:37:12.560 --> 00:37:16.640
I mean, we have to, that's what I mean about insecurity.

584
00:37:16.640 --> 00:37:18.960
I mean, for myself, I am so secure

585
00:37:18.960 --> 00:37:20.440
and I know where I'm going in life

586
00:37:20.440 --> 00:37:23.000
that most women call me controlling and manipulative

587
00:37:23.000 --> 00:37:24.980
when actually not at all.

588
00:37:24.980 --> 00:37:26.500
It's just, I know where I'm at in life.

589
00:37:26.500 --> 00:37:27.500
I know I'm with God.

590
00:37:27.500 --> 00:37:30.060
I know with Jesus, I know what I'm looking for.

591
00:37:30.060 --> 00:37:32.620
And a lot of women says, well, you're coming on strong.

592
00:37:32.620 --> 00:37:34.860
And I said, well, it's not strong.

593
00:37:34.860 --> 00:37:39.500
It's because I know who I am and I'm confident, I'm sure.

594
00:37:39.500 --> 00:37:41.740
And so it's nice for a woman to actually call me

595
00:37:41.740 --> 00:37:43.220
and say, listen, would you be interested?

596
00:37:43.220 --> 00:37:45.340
Because like in our own community,

597
00:37:45.340 --> 00:37:48.820
I would know, have no idea which one of them

598
00:37:48.820 --> 00:37:51.380
would be interested in dating me at all.

599
00:37:51.900 --> 00:37:52.740
Yeah.

600
00:37:53.700 --> 00:37:54.540
Absolutely.

601
00:37:55.420 --> 00:37:57.260
No, and we tell women that as well.

602
00:37:57.260 --> 00:37:59.340
It's like, look, it is 2025.

603
00:37:59.340 --> 00:38:02.220
Like there's some guys that just like,

604
00:38:02.220 --> 00:38:03.940
there's such a backwardsness

605
00:38:03.940 --> 00:38:06.980
in a lot of our cultural things today

606
00:38:06.980 --> 00:38:10.540
that there are guys that are really good, valuable guys.

607
00:38:10.540 --> 00:38:14.380
They just need a moment.

608
00:38:14.380 --> 00:38:15.620
They need a breakthrough.

609
00:38:15.620 --> 00:38:18.380
And if that means that you have to be the one to say,

610
00:38:18.380 --> 00:38:21.540
hey, would you like to go on a date

611
00:38:21.540 --> 00:38:23.500
or I'm interested or whatever?

612
00:38:24.380 --> 00:38:29.100
Now, eventually women want men to initiate

613
00:38:29.100 --> 00:38:30.700
and show leadership.

614
00:38:30.700 --> 00:38:32.540
But that doesn't mean you have to lead everything.

615
00:38:32.540 --> 00:38:33.620
That doesn't mean like,

616
00:38:33.620 --> 00:38:37.980
my wife is a powerful leader, period.

617
00:38:38.860 --> 00:38:42.100
Whether she's a man or a woman, her makeup,

618
00:38:42.100 --> 00:38:44.700
she is a leader of leaders.

619
00:38:44.700 --> 00:38:48.140
She walks into a room and will lead

620
00:38:48.900 --> 00:38:51.180
if nobody's already leading.

621
00:38:51.180 --> 00:38:52.940
She's one of those people that just walks in like,

622
00:38:52.940 --> 00:38:53.980
oh, nobody's leading in here.

623
00:38:53.980 --> 00:38:56.020
Like, okay, here's what we're gonna do.

624
00:38:56.020 --> 00:38:57.060
She just leads.

625
00:38:58.260 --> 00:39:00.220
One time, I won't tell that story.

626
00:39:00.220 --> 00:39:01.740
Anyway, it's a funny story.

627
00:39:01.740 --> 00:39:02.900
This is too long.

628
00:39:02.900 --> 00:39:07.900
Anyway, so I'm not just kind of like sitting back going,

629
00:39:08.940 --> 00:39:10.700
oh, I'm just gonna let my wife lead

630
00:39:14.060 --> 00:39:16.380
because she's such a strong leader.

631
00:39:16.420 --> 00:39:19.300
I'm just telling you that nine times out of 10,

632
00:39:19.300 --> 00:39:22.580
in terms of like ideas and thoughts,

633
00:39:22.580 --> 00:39:25.860
like she is thinking about things all the time.

634
00:39:25.860 --> 00:39:28.940
And every day, she pretty much knows

635
00:39:28.940 --> 00:39:30.460
what she's gonna do that day.

636
00:39:30.460 --> 00:39:31.820
Like she wakes up with like,

637
00:39:31.820 --> 00:39:33.620
I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that.

638
00:39:33.620 --> 00:39:35.300
Not because she's planned it out the day before

639
00:39:35.300 --> 00:39:37.420
and she's so organized, because she's not.

640
00:39:37.420 --> 00:39:40.300
I'm just telling you, she just has an intuition to know,

641
00:39:40.300 --> 00:39:43.380
here's what I'm gonna do in the next five minutes.

642
00:39:43.420 --> 00:39:47.060
And lots of times, I'm in relationship now with her,

643
00:39:47.060 --> 00:39:50.540
I'm relaxed in doing that and letting her do that

644
00:39:50.540 --> 00:39:53.140
because I'm not trying to like come up with some idea like,

645
00:39:53.140 --> 00:39:54.220
oh, here's what we're gonna do today.

646
00:39:54.220 --> 00:39:55.780
We're gonna do this, this is what needs to be done

647
00:39:55.780 --> 00:39:58.980
and like try to like tell her a bunch of stuff.

648
00:39:58.980 --> 00:39:59.820
Because nine.

649
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.640
times out of 10, she's already been down there and done that.

650
00:40:03.640 --> 00:40:06.880
Like she's already in that vein.

651
00:40:06.880 --> 00:40:08.920
And we don't have the kind of life to where we're like,

652
00:40:08.920 --> 00:40:10.920
we have an eight to nine to five type thing

653
00:40:10.920 --> 00:40:12.920
where we're like our life is prescribed already

654
00:40:12.920 --> 00:40:15.560
because we just go to work and we have this routine.

655
00:40:15.560 --> 00:40:18.260
Like our life is like different every day.

656
00:40:18.260 --> 00:40:20.840
I mean, it's kind of become a routine.

657
00:40:20.840 --> 00:40:22.340
But what I'm trying to say is,

658
00:40:23.700 --> 00:40:26.960
I don't try to lead my wife in those ways

659
00:40:26.960 --> 00:40:29.080
where she already knows what she's doing

660
00:40:29.160 --> 00:40:31.680
and what she wants to accomplish.

661
00:40:31.680 --> 00:40:36.280
What I need to do is initiate in sort of the more romance,

662
00:40:36.280 --> 00:40:41.200
sort of like the connection sort of areas in my life.

663
00:40:41.200 --> 00:40:42.920
That's where she wants me to lead.

664
00:40:44.520 --> 00:40:46.080
Now there's parts of our business,

665
00:40:46.080 --> 00:40:48.600
there's parts of our life that I'm better at doing things.

666
00:40:48.600 --> 00:40:51.620
And she's like, hey, I need this done.

667
00:40:51.620 --> 00:40:52.800
What's the best way to do this?

668
00:40:52.800 --> 00:40:54.860
Then she like defers to me.

669
00:40:54.860 --> 00:40:56.160
She refers to me because she knows

670
00:40:56.160 --> 00:40:58.320
I'm better at certain things.

671
00:40:59.520 --> 00:41:01.600
But I'm not like waking up every morning

672
00:41:01.600 --> 00:41:03.280
as the man of the household.

673
00:41:03.280 --> 00:41:05.000
And you better do what I say

674
00:41:05.000 --> 00:41:06.880
because this is what I'm supposed to do.

675
00:41:06.880 --> 00:41:09.280
And I'm telling everybody what's happening.

676
00:41:09.280 --> 00:41:11.080
That's not what happens in my house.

677
00:41:11.960 --> 00:41:13.200
You know what I'm saying?

678
00:41:14.920 --> 00:41:17.280
So we've learned how to work together.

679
00:41:17.280 --> 00:41:20.880
So you're in a relationship.

680
00:41:20.880 --> 00:41:24.000
That's a beautiful way is when two people

681
00:41:24.000 --> 00:41:27.920
wanna come together and they want to highlight

682
00:41:27.920 --> 00:41:31.520
and take advantage of each other's strengths.

683
00:41:31.520 --> 00:41:33.880
And you are complimentary in your relationship

684
00:41:33.880 --> 00:41:38.240
rather than competitive, right?

685
00:41:38.240 --> 00:41:41.400
Just because of some archaic rules that say

686
00:41:41.400 --> 00:41:44.340
that it's gotta be this way and that way.

687
00:41:47.080 --> 00:41:48.080
Any other questions?

688
00:41:48.600 --> 00:41:51.360
Joshua says, if you're a man and think you picked

689
00:41:51.360 --> 00:41:52.720
your woman, think again.

690
00:41:53.680 --> 00:41:54.960
There's some truth to that.

691
00:42:04.640 --> 00:42:05.720
Yeah, women are sharp.

692
00:42:05.720 --> 00:42:07.120
Women are just intuitive.

693
00:42:08.640 --> 00:42:10.640
They know things without knowing things.

694
00:42:11.560 --> 00:42:13.600
All right, thank you so much for your time.

695
00:42:13.600 --> 00:42:14.440
I appreciate it.

696
00:42:15.040 --> 00:42:17.840
They know things without knowing things.

697
00:42:17.840 --> 00:42:20.520
All right, so I have a situation.

698
00:42:24.520 --> 00:42:25.840
Yes.

699
00:42:25.840 --> 00:42:29.280
On Messenger, I tend to be the one to instigate the chat.

700
00:42:29.280 --> 00:42:31.920
And I wanna know, is it usually that?

701
00:42:31.920 --> 00:42:33.920
And I usually go up to people with women.

702
00:42:33.920 --> 00:42:37.160
I try to go to them and I'm trying to find

703
00:42:37.160 --> 00:42:39.960
as a way to keep in an effort to get to know them

704
00:42:39.960 --> 00:42:43.160
and just ask questions as though,

705
00:42:43.160 --> 00:42:46.360
rather than like a job interview style,

706
00:42:46.360 --> 00:42:48.400
rather than get to know the person.

707
00:42:48.400 --> 00:42:51.120
And I'm almost the entire time, I'm the one doing it.

708
00:42:51.120 --> 00:42:53.320
Is there something wrong with this?

709
00:42:53.320 --> 00:42:54.160
Because I would say-

710
00:42:54.160 --> 00:42:56.800
No, I mean, Hannah, you're an initiator.

711
00:42:56.800 --> 00:42:59.960
You're like, you're someone that just takes action,

712
00:43:02.600 --> 00:43:03.440
typically.

713
00:43:03.440 --> 00:43:07.920
You're sort of a forerunning kind of guy.

714
00:43:07.920 --> 00:43:11.320
What you want to do is you want to

715
00:43:14.000 --> 00:43:17.800
definitely, I admire the fact that you're willing

716
00:43:17.800 --> 00:43:20.800
and not concerned, and you're very active

717
00:43:20.800 --> 00:43:22.400
and proactive in that way.

718
00:43:22.400 --> 00:43:24.600
I think that's very powerful.

719
00:43:24.600 --> 00:43:26.000
I think it's good.

720
00:43:26.000 --> 00:43:29.800
Have you found the right person that reacts to that?

721
00:43:29.800 --> 00:43:33.160
Because maybe they feel like you come across

722
00:43:33.160 --> 00:43:38.160
a little strong just because you're extremely intentional.

723
00:43:38.720 --> 00:43:43.160
Maybe that's something that can be curbed a little bit.

724
00:43:43.160 --> 00:43:45.480
Maybe that can be refined a little bit,

725
00:43:45.480 --> 00:43:49.120
but don't stop not initiating.

726
00:43:49.120 --> 00:43:51.040
I love the initiating that you do.

727
00:43:51.040 --> 00:43:53.520
Well, when I wrestled in high school

728
00:43:53.520 --> 00:43:56.640
and they said, you're about to go to a tournament

729
00:43:56.640 --> 00:43:59.440
and wrestle, I always get afraid that I might lose,

730
00:43:59.440 --> 00:44:02.560
but I know my coach said, if it's a loss,

731
00:44:02.560 --> 00:44:03.400
that'd be a loss.

732
00:44:03.400 --> 00:44:06.040
But of course I can't run away from the fact.

733
00:44:07.040 --> 00:44:08.760
It's more like I go out and face it

734
00:44:08.760 --> 00:44:10.520
and go in a tournament and look what happened.

735
00:44:10.520 --> 00:44:12.600
I give it my best.

736
00:44:12.600 --> 00:44:15.320
Basically, I got that kind of mentality built into me.

737
00:44:15.320 --> 00:44:17.400
So it's basically, you can't run away

738
00:44:17.400 --> 00:44:19.800
from where you're facing.

739
00:44:19.800 --> 00:44:22.560
It's basically, instead of being initialized,

740
00:44:22.560 --> 00:44:25.880
I developed the notion of not running away from the problem,

741
00:44:25.880 --> 00:44:27.920
like afraid of a day and chickening out.

742
00:44:27.920 --> 00:44:30.160
You just go up and face it.

743
00:44:30.160 --> 00:44:31.000
Absolutely.

744
00:44:31.000 --> 00:44:33.600
No, you do that part very, very, very, very well.

745
00:44:33.600 --> 00:44:35.000
That's where I developed it.

746
00:44:37.040 --> 00:44:41.560
The part where you are maybe not getting the traction

747
00:44:41.560 --> 00:44:46.560
that you want is the sensitivity of where's this person at

748
00:44:50.120 --> 00:44:53.360
and how they're gonna react to you.

749
00:44:55.000 --> 00:44:57.000
And this is where,

750
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:05.920
if you're ever into the situation where you're developing in a relationship and

751
00:45:07.200 --> 00:45:11.440
You need to be inquisitive and asking hey, you know

752
00:45:12.780 --> 00:45:14.940
How can I do this better? How can I you know?

753
00:45:15.760 --> 00:45:17.760
How can I approach somebody without?

754
00:45:18.640 --> 00:45:21.760
You know making them concerned that you know, this is gonna be too much

755
00:45:22.760 --> 00:45:29.500
Type thing. Yeah, it's basically and then that's and that's not maybe requires the talking less

756
00:45:30.080 --> 00:45:30.800
All right

757
00:45:30.800 --> 00:45:36.800
It's not so much me trying to go out even be all these years trying to go out and make it but it's just the more

758
00:45:36.800 --> 00:45:40.000
I tried to attend the desire for someone intensifies some more

759
00:45:40.000 --> 00:45:44.160
I tried to the more I start trying to go out make it happen

760
00:45:44.360 --> 00:45:50.560
and even even this means manipulate the circumstance or the person she suspects something right about you and

761
00:45:50.880 --> 00:45:53.540
She ends up being not being the one in the first place

762
00:45:54.120 --> 00:45:56.760
so learn how to learn how to try to

763
00:45:57.760 --> 00:46:02.320
Ask questions and say your statements in about half

764
00:46:03.160 --> 00:46:06.200
the number of words and half at the time and

765
00:46:07.080 --> 00:46:08.720
and

766
00:46:08.720 --> 00:46:12.440
See if that works better so that you can have a little bit softer approach

767
00:46:13.000 --> 00:46:16.400
And get some get some response out of the person

768
00:46:17.080 --> 00:46:21.680
Might be helpful. All right, who else has got something on this guys?

769
00:46:21.680 --> 00:46:25.560
I was gonna say can I piggyback on that I could hear from everybody

770
00:46:26.880 --> 00:46:29.120
Can I piggyback off that go ahead Zach?

771
00:46:30.080 --> 00:46:37.200
Yeah, hunter. I was gonna say like I know it's something I've had to deal with myself with conversations and that's the thing about online

772
00:46:38.360 --> 00:46:43.400
Dating and conversations like texting back and forth. It can be hard and it can feel very

773
00:46:45.720 --> 00:46:50.600
Feel very much like a grind sometimes so I would say I would just encourage you to try and focus on

774
00:46:51.160 --> 00:46:56.320
The questions that are gonna be more open-ended and it will actually like spark

775
00:46:56.440 --> 00:47:00.680
You know more conversation as opposed to like very direct straightforward questions

776
00:47:00.680 --> 00:47:04.480
Like, you know, what's your favorite type of food? Where it's your favorite color?

777
00:47:04.480 --> 00:47:07.040
Like yes, some of those things are important

778
00:47:07.040 --> 00:47:10.760
But at the end of the day, like we really want to know somebody's heart. So it's like

779
00:47:11.640 --> 00:47:14.740
Pardon me still deal with some of the bronchitis stuff

780
00:47:14.740 --> 00:47:19.020
But just like some of those things like, you know, what are the things that really

781
00:47:19.780 --> 00:47:22.980
You know, what are the things that keep you up at night? Like what?

782
00:47:25.420 --> 00:47:30.540
You know, what are your passions like what are the things that motivate you what are the things that drive you like those kinds of topics

783
00:47:30.540 --> 00:47:32.140
Are the things that gonna?

784
00:47:32.140 --> 00:47:35.900
Probably be more insightful and more

785
00:47:36.460 --> 00:47:39.420
Intriguing to somebody than just the simple straightforward things, especially

786
00:47:39.420 --> 00:47:47.180
If we're still in that like phase one stage where you know for women, especially they're getting those questions from like four or five

787
00:47:47.180 --> 00:47:53.020
Different people. So the more unique questions that you provide the more likely they are to engage in that conversation with you, too

788
00:47:54.180 --> 00:47:56.180
Yeah

789
00:47:56.860 --> 00:48:01.340
It's good, thank you Zach for sharing that I I'm kind of in the same mind too it's like

790
00:48:02.460 --> 00:48:04.460
It's like the balance of the two

791
00:48:04.660 --> 00:48:07.300
I'm kind of in the same mind too. It's like

792
00:48:08.380 --> 00:48:10.380
It's like the back-and-forth

793
00:48:10.380 --> 00:48:12.380
messages and then it's like if

794
00:48:12.500 --> 00:48:17.980
There gets to be a period where I'm have to wait too long to hear from her then I get worried and it's like

795
00:48:18.660 --> 00:48:24.620
The anxiety with that. It's like like, oh does she not like me after all, you know, if she's not responding, you know

796
00:48:25.140 --> 00:48:30.700
It might be that she's just busy with something or or you know, or she's sick or whatever

797
00:48:30.700 --> 00:48:37.740
But but sometimes it still hurts to be like, oh man, like I've waited this amount of time and I haven't heard from her

798
00:48:37.740 --> 00:48:39.740
You know, yeah

799
00:48:40.340 --> 00:48:44.460
Yeah, no, I mean the the more that you can refine I mean

800
00:48:46.140 --> 00:48:49.980
Women love a man that will smile

801
00:48:51.220 --> 00:48:54.540
you know, this is why sort of like the

802
00:48:55.380 --> 00:48:59.060
You know the the typical like walking up

803
00:48:59.940 --> 00:49:04.180
You know movie scene where a guy walks up to a girl in a bar and he's you know

804
00:49:04.180 --> 00:49:10.540
He's the hero and he's got all the lines and he says something that makes her laugh or says something that you know

805
00:49:10.540 --> 00:49:16.940
It's smart alecky or whatever just tell you know, totally counterintuitive than the the normal guy that walks up and says hey

806
00:49:16.940 --> 00:49:19.660
How you doing, you know, like, you know trying to be cool and

807
00:49:20.300 --> 00:49:23.300
He comes up with humor, you know, like so you know

808
00:49:23.420 --> 00:49:29.660
Walking up to a girl not just like smiling creepily like, you know with like a smile on your face

809
00:49:29.660 --> 00:49:36.340
That's not good. But saying what you're saying with a smile like hey, hi, you know, what's going on?

810
00:49:36.340 --> 00:49:41.420
You know, or maybe using a joke your approach is you know can be

811
00:49:42.060 --> 00:49:45.100
Refined there's a lot of information. There's a lot of

812
00:49:46.260 --> 00:49:48.260
information and

813
00:49:48.300 --> 00:49:51.980
But I think the best thing to do is practice in a mirror I

814
00:49:53.420 --> 00:49:55.420
I

815
00:49:56.380 --> 00:49:58.380
I

816
00:49:59.420 --> 00:50:01.420
I

817
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:01.320
I've done that for a long time,

818
00:50:01.320 --> 00:50:03.840
not for like trying to pick up women,

819
00:50:01.420 --> 00:50:03.420
I

820
00:50:03.420 --> 00:50:05.420
I

821
00:50:03.840 --> 00:50:06.440
but when I'm doing presenting or when I was a teaching

822
00:50:05.420 --> 00:50:07.420
I

823
00:50:06.440 --> 00:50:09.640
or when I was just like trying to like be,

824
00:50:07.420 --> 00:50:09.420
I

825
00:50:09.420 --> 00:50:11.420
I

826
00:50:09.640 --> 00:50:14.320
like I knew I was gonna be on platform or on stage,

827
00:50:11.420 --> 00:50:13.420
I

828
00:50:13.420 --> 00:50:15.420
I

829
00:50:14.320 --> 00:50:16.160
you know, that I was going to be doing things

830
00:50:15.420 --> 00:50:17.420
I

831
00:50:16.160 --> 00:50:19.180
and I had to be, you know, presenting.

832
00:50:19.180 --> 00:50:20.720
I wanted to put my best foot forward.

833
00:50:20.720 --> 00:50:23.120
So I would practice in the mirror,

834
00:50:23.120 --> 00:50:26.680
all sorts of things to try to come across

835
00:50:26.680 --> 00:50:29.560
in a way that was engaging, entertaining.

836
00:50:29.560 --> 00:50:31.240
Like you get people's attention,

837
00:50:33.480 --> 00:50:36.040
you know, that's stuff that could be learned

838
00:50:36.040 --> 00:50:37.220
and acquired for sure.

839
00:50:38.640 --> 00:50:39.640
All right, who else?

840
00:50:42.000 --> 00:50:44.400
Well, I'm actually gonna go again,

841
00:50:44.400 --> 00:50:46.880
just more kind of a general update,

842
00:50:46.880 --> 00:50:48.720
since Abram did ask.

843
00:50:48.720 --> 00:50:49.640
Yeah, I saw that.

844
00:50:52.680 --> 00:50:55.740
Yeah, I know I've been out for a few weeks

845
00:50:55.740 --> 00:50:58.960
just with different illnesses

846
00:50:59.000 --> 00:51:02.240
and obviously we didn't have a check in last week.

847
00:51:02.240 --> 00:51:04.200
But yeah, kind of update on the person

848
00:51:04.200 --> 00:51:08.120
that I've been talking to

849
00:51:08.120 --> 00:51:10.620
or that I was told about a month ago.

850
00:51:12.120 --> 00:51:14.960
We've been on a handful of dates,

851
00:51:14.960 --> 00:51:17.680
we've been in constant communication,

852
00:51:17.680 --> 00:51:19.920
you know, things are going well.

853
00:51:19.920 --> 00:51:23.520
We're just keeping it low key right now,

854
00:51:23.520 --> 00:51:26.680
keeping it simple, you know,

855
00:51:26.760 --> 00:51:28.760
just kind of letting things be

856
00:51:28.760 --> 00:51:32.220
and probably not trying to put too much pressure on it,

857
00:51:32.220 --> 00:51:36.800
but still like be intentional about moving things forward

858
00:51:36.800 --> 00:51:39.000
and trying to spend time together.

859
00:51:39.000 --> 00:51:43.160
Obviously, bronchitis and flu and, you know,

860
00:51:43.160 --> 00:51:45.880
pensioner stuff took me out of commission for a few weeks.

861
00:51:45.880 --> 00:51:48.440
So we probably haven't spent as much like

862
00:51:48.440 --> 00:51:52.320
in-person time together as we probably could have.

863
00:51:52.320 --> 00:51:55.360
And obviously both of us work for a church,

864
00:51:55.360 --> 00:51:56.200
the same church.

865
00:51:57.080 --> 00:51:59.320
So Easter and all that chaos,

866
00:52:01.400 --> 00:52:03.240
you know, just kind of takes up

867
00:52:03.240 --> 00:52:06.440
a lot of our bandwidth as well.

868
00:52:06.440 --> 00:52:08.320
But yeah, things are going well,

869
00:52:08.320 --> 00:52:11.720
you know, still keeping myself,

870
00:52:11.720 --> 00:52:15.840
trying to do my best to keep myself open and engaged

871
00:52:15.840 --> 00:52:19.340
and, you know, like where it's at right now.

872
00:52:20.280 --> 00:52:25.280
How do you feel with the thought of seeing her again?

873
00:52:27.200 --> 00:52:30.200
Like next time you see her,

874
00:52:30.200 --> 00:52:31.840
it's probably maybe going to be at work

875
00:52:31.840 --> 00:52:32.720
or something like that.

876
00:52:32.720 --> 00:52:34.120
Or, you know, just come across,

877
00:52:34.120 --> 00:52:35.680
like, what does that, what does that,

878
00:52:35.680 --> 00:52:38.000
what kind of feelings does that evoke inside of you?

879
00:52:38.000 --> 00:52:39.520
Like, oh, I can't wait to.

880
00:52:41.880 --> 00:52:46.760
Yeah, I would say I'm not at the point where I would say,

881
00:52:46.760 --> 00:52:51.600
like my heart's leaping to see her, but it's not like,

882
00:52:51.600 --> 00:52:52.440
Are you excited?

883
00:52:52.440 --> 00:52:53.280
Are you interested?

884
00:52:53.280 --> 00:52:55.400
Yeah, but it's not like off-put either.

885
00:52:55.440 --> 00:52:58.720
Like it's still just kind of in the middle.

886
00:52:58.720 --> 00:53:01.680
Like, you know, I think both of us,

887
00:53:01.680 --> 00:53:04.160
we're still just kind of in that phase of,

888
00:53:04.160 --> 00:53:06.320
especially since, again, we're both,

889
00:53:06.320 --> 00:53:09.640
we're coworkers in a sense, you know,

890
00:53:09.640 --> 00:53:13.320
it's something that we both want to tread very lightly

891
00:53:13.320 --> 00:53:17.400
and intentionally with so that, you know,

892
00:53:17.400 --> 00:53:20.400
God forbid it doesn't work out that, you know,

893
00:53:20.400 --> 00:53:21.360
neither of us.

894
00:53:22.760 --> 00:53:23.840
Have to go get different jobs.

895
00:53:24.840 --> 00:53:25.960
Yeah, that sort of thing.

896
00:53:25.960 --> 00:53:27.200
I get it.

897
00:53:27.200 --> 00:53:28.040
Let me ask you this.

898
00:53:28.040 --> 00:53:29.880
Like you said, you were told about her.

899
00:53:31.240 --> 00:53:32.560
How did that happen again?

900
00:53:33.480 --> 00:53:38.200
A fellow coworker of ours is kind of like a mom

901
00:53:38.200 --> 00:53:40.800
to a lot of the girls on staff.

902
00:53:40.800 --> 00:53:44.120
And she's somebody that I've worked with

903
00:53:44.120 --> 00:53:48.760
through our pastoral care ministry.

904
00:53:49.800 --> 00:53:51.400
And she just,

905
00:53:51.400 --> 00:53:52.400
She was a coach to me.

906
00:53:52.440 --> 00:53:57.440
Yeah, so she just texted me and was saying like,

907
00:54:00.200 --> 00:54:05.040
that she knew of somebody that was interested in me

908
00:54:05.040 --> 00:54:08.200
and was trying to keep it very like hush hush,

909
00:54:08.200 --> 00:54:09.720
very mysterious.

910
00:54:10.800 --> 00:54:11.640
And-

911
00:54:11.640 --> 00:54:13.160
Why was she doing it that way?

912
00:54:13.160 --> 00:54:15.080
I think probably because,

913
00:54:16.160 --> 00:54:17.640
excuse me,

914
00:54:17.640 --> 00:54:21.280
one, the fact that I, you know, that it was a coworker,

915
00:54:22.240 --> 00:54:26.560
I think she wanted me to make a decision based on character

916
00:54:26.560 --> 00:54:28.600
more so than name or looks.

917
00:54:29.760 --> 00:54:30.600
And so she was trying to-

918
00:54:30.600 --> 00:54:32.400
Oh, she was just trying to fill you out, that's all.

919
00:54:32.400 --> 00:54:33.640
Yeah.

920
00:54:33.640 --> 00:54:35.320
And I was trying to say like,

921
00:54:35.320 --> 00:54:38.000
hey, like when she actually texted me,

922
00:54:38.000 --> 00:54:40.440
I was in Orlando at the time.

923
00:54:40.440 --> 00:54:43.760
And I was like, look, can we just like talk on Monday?

924
00:54:43.760 --> 00:54:45.960
And then she just like dropped the name right out of nowhere

925
00:54:45.960 --> 00:54:47.360
and I'm like, oh my gosh.

926
00:54:48.320 --> 00:54:52.760
And being a very over analytical person, over thinker,

927
00:54:52.760 --> 00:54:54.880
I'm like, now I got to think about

928
00:54:54.880 --> 00:54:57.360
how I want to approach this.

929
00:54:57.360 --> 00:54:58.680
Let me ask you this.

930
00:54:58.680 --> 00:54:59.520
When you-

931
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.240
Heard the name or saw the name. I guess is what you you saw it

932
00:55:03.400 --> 00:55:07.760
Yeah, and of course, you know this person, you know who this person is because they work in

933
00:55:08.920 --> 00:55:14.080
Like what was your initial reaction other than the freakout? Was your reaction like oh

934
00:55:15.040 --> 00:55:18.000
Or was it like oh like, okay

935
00:55:18.920 --> 00:55:21.280
it wasn't it wasn't so much like

936
00:55:22.400 --> 00:55:23.800
the

937
00:55:23.800 --> 00:55:26.520
Excitement or disappointment so much as it was just more

938
00:55:27.520 --> 00:55:30.560
Confusion it was like wait, really

939
00:55:31.640 --> 00:55:33.400
her oh

940
00:55:33.400 --> 00:55:38.480
You were surprised it like like you were surprised because you didn't think

941
00:55:39.520 --> 00:55:46.500
This this person would like you or you were surprised in I was surprised that anybody like me

942
00:55:49.600 --> 00:55:53.400
But a lot of guys I really do I think that's yeah

943
00:55:53.560 --> 00:56:00.040
Guys I think a lot of like look when Jackie was standing on my front porch talking to me as a neighbor

944
00:56:00.520 --> 00:56:01.760
And she came back over

945
00:56:01.760 --> 00:56:03.080
I mean you guys know the story

946
00:56:03.080 --> 00:56:08.280
But she came back over to kind of like check and see if I was home and finally when we actually met in person the

947
00:56:08.280 --> 00:56:12.520
first time other than the time she yelled at me she came back over and

948
00:56:13.680 --> 00:56:19.840
She said I might I couldn't get the thought out of my mind that here's this beautiful woman standing on my porch like just having

949
00:56:19.840 --> 00:56:21.840
a conversation with me like

950
00:56:22.560 --> 00:56:29.640
What woman would do that like I was just like she was giving me basically proverbial time of day so to speak and I was

951
00:56:29.640 --> 00:56:30.520
just like

952
00:56:30.520 --> 00:56:34.440
Is this really happening? Like what is like I was very

953
00:56:35.160 --> 00:56:36.480
elated

954
00:56:36.480 --> 00:56:40.920
Because I was like obviously attracted to her and it right away

955
00:56:41.400 --> 00:56:45.240
But at the same time I was also like what does this lady want?

956
00:56:45.240 --> 00:56:48.480
Like there's just no way that she's standing on my porch talking to me

957
00:56:48.480 --> 00:56:55.520
Just just because she's wanting to just have a conversation like, you know, or she's even interested in me. I'm like

958
00:56:56.480 --> 00:57:00.480
What is what is going on? You know, so there is that

959
00:57:01.520 --> 00:57:04.880
Some of that, you know, we're yeah, like what is happening?

960
00:57:05.640 --> 00:57:09.920
yeah, and I think for me too, it was also a good bit of I

961
00:57:10.840 --> 00:57:14.960
Need to know what my initial feelings are

962
00:57:16.000 --> 00:57:18.000
so that I can

963
00:57:19.160 --> 00:57:21.160
You know approach this relationship

964
00:57:23.200 --> 00:57:25.520
With the right intentions and

965
00:57:26.600 --> 00:57:31.280
you know the right mindset because you know if I

966
00:57:31.920 --> 00:57:35.840
And I know I talked about it a month ago on that check-in, but it's like, you know if I

967
00:57:36.600 --> 00:57:38.120
was

968
00:57:38.120 --> 00:57:46.040
Really more concerned about like looks and how I appear with somebody. It probably wouldn't have been something that I did but you know

969
00:57:46.920 --> 00:57:53.560
Taking the time to evaluate, you know, because again, this is a person I've known for probably

970
00:57:54.560 --> 00:57:57.840
You know ten years. I would say maybe

971
00:57:58.200 --> 00:58:03.480
I mean because that's that's how long I've been on staff and yeah, we've never really run in the same circles

972
00:58:03.520 --> 00:58:08.640
But yeah, but you've never you have several mutual friends and obviously like working for the same church. Yeah

973
00:58:10.080 --> 00:58:11.880
But just like

974
00:58:11.880 --> 00:58:15.320
There been we were both in missions for a good while

975
00:58:16.120 --> 00:58:19.720
And you know, we get having several mutual friends. It's like, okay, there's

976
00:58:20.600 --> 00:58:25.360
What are what are those things that we can actually build a quality relationship on?

977
00:58:25.360 --> 00:58:31.840
What are those areas of alignment that we do have and is that enough for me to you know?

978
00:58:31.840 --> 00:58:33.840
At least be open to a date

979
00:58:34.160 --> 00:58:38.280
And I was like you got to solve all that on one day

980
00:58:39.840 --> 00:58:42.960
That's that's that's just how I am

981
00:58:43.480 --> 00:58:45.480
Because like I mean I've

982
00:58:46.000 --> 00:58:48.560
Dated around the best of that if you can

983
00:58:50.320 --> 00:58:54.920
Date done and then we'll talk about more of that kind of stuff. Yeah

984
00:58:56.560 --> 00:58:58.560
No, that's good though, I'm happy for you

985
00:58:58.760 --> 00:58:59.280
Okay

986
00:58:59.280 --> 00:59:03.200
So because because of the illness and just because of this life right now

987
00:59:03.520 --> 00:59:08.120
You've actually not been able to go out and on a real date is what you're saying at this point. Um

988
00:59:08.240 --> 00:59:09.800
Um

989
00:59:09.800 --> 00:59:14.640
Well, we we went on a hangout or something. We we did a couple

990
00:59:15.560 --> 00:59:21.400
Before I got sick, so like we went and got coffee and just kind of talked. Okay, so you've had and then

991
00:59:23.120 --> 00:59:28.440
Yeah walked around like a arts market, you know little farmers market type thing that fun

992
00:59:29.200 --> 00:59:31.200
Yeah, no, we enjoyed my time

993
00:59:32.240 --> 00:59:34.240
You think she enjoyed it

994
00:59:34.360 --> 00:59:42.000
Yeah, okay, yeah, like I said, we've been we've been texting almost every day for the last month

995
00:59:44.920 --> 00:59:50.400
Yeah, yeah, it's it's not like a lot of like get-to-know-you stuff

996
00:59:50.400 --> 00:59:53.640
But it's still just like staying connected and communicating

997
00:59:54.280 --> 00:59:58.360
Absolutely. You're gonna get back in the saddle here again because you're gonna be starting feeling good

998
00:59:58.360 --> 01:00:00.360
You know all that's gonna go away and then

999
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.040
You're like, all right, let's see what this is all about.

1000
01:00:03.040 --> 01:00:03.880
Love it.

1001
01:00:03.880 --> 01:00:06.040
Actually have the energy to really put in

1002
01:00:06.040 --> 01:00:08.640
and do like a proper date.

1003
01:00:08.640 --> 01:00:10.800
Sure, sure, no, I understand that.

1004
01:00:10.800 --> 01:00:11.960
Awesome, well, good.

1005
01:00:11.960 --> 01:00:12.800
Zach, love that.

1006
01:00:12.800 --> 01:00:13.880
Thank you for the update on that.

1007
01:00:13.880 --> 01:00:15.080
It's awesome.

1008
01:00:15.080 --> 01:00:17.880
We're going to be in your corner

1009
01:00:17.880 --> 01:00:20.680
trying to champion you in every way we can.

1010
01:00:20.680 --> 01:00:22.320
Good stuff.

1011
01:00:22.320 --> 01:00:23.600
Anybody else tonight?

1012
01:00:23.600 --> 01:00:25.200
We got, we're two minutes past.

1013
01:00:28.640 --> 01:00:29.480
What's it called?

1014
01:00:29.880 --> 01:00:34.160
I had a pretty good Zoom date with the lady from Community.

1015
01:00:35.600 --> 01:00:39.800
For those of you who run out of creative ideas

1016
01:00:39.800 --> 01:00:43.400
to do for a Zoom call, we had a Zoom karaoke date.

1017
01:00:44.240 --> 01:00:47.560
We just played music in the background off YouTube

1018
01:00:47.560 --> 01:00:50.840
and just went tit for tat on different songs.

1019
01:00:52.400 --> 01:00:53.240
That's pretty bold.

1020
01:00:53.240 --> 01:00:55.760
Some people are like very intimidated by that.

1021
01:00:55.760 --> 01:00:58.680
Yeah, she warned me in advance, she's not a good singer

1022
01:00:58.680 --> 01:01:00.480
and please, please don't judge her.

1023
01:01:00.480 --> 01:01:04.200
I'm like, hey, it's mine.

1024
01:01:04.200 --> 01:01:05.040
Oh, okay.

1025
01:01:07.600 --> 01:01:08.720
Yeah, like I'm not a good singer,

1026
01:01:08.720 --> 01:01:10.400
but yeah, I'm down with that.

1027
01:01:10.400 --> 01:01:12.360
She was cool.

1028
01:01:12.360 --> 01:01:13.400
It's just about having fun.

1029
01:01:13.400 --> 01:01:15.520
That's why they call it karaoke.

1030
01:01:15.520 --> 01:01:16.480
That's right.

1031
01:01:16.480 --> 01:01:18.120
Not karaoke super great.

1032
01:01:18.120 --> 01:01:19.640
That's right, I love it.

1033
01:01:19.640 --> 01:01:21.000
But yeah, it was fun.

1034
01:01:21.000 --> 01:01:23.400
It was hysterical because my roommate walked

1035
01:01:23.400 --> 01:01:25.600
in the background and started singing out loud

1036
01:01:25.600 --> 01:01:28.360
while I was singing and didn't realize

1037
01:01:29.040 --> 01:01:30.600
he was on the call and I just turned around

1038
01:01:30.600 --> 01:01:32.200
and started laughing.

1039
01:01:32.200 --> 01:01:34.320
Like, bro, I'm on a call here.

1040
01:01:34.320 --> 01:01:36.200
Yeah, and he was like, oh, I'm on the call.

1041
01:01:36.200 --> 01:01:37.960
I'm like, yes, together.

1042
01:01:37.960 --> 01:01:39.520
And you sing better now than you do

1043
01:01:39.520 --> 01:01:41.240
when we go out to actual karaoke.

1044
01:01:42.360 --> 01:01:45.680
So that was the first date or whatever.

1045
01:01:45.680 --> 01:01:49.160
No, it was like our second,

1046
01:01:50.040 --> 01:01:54.720
I think it was our second or third FaceTime,

1047
01:01:54.720 --> 01:01:56.400
like Zoom call date.

1048
01:01:56.400 --> 01:01:57.600
Okay.

1049
01:01:57.600 --> 01:02:01.280
Where do you think you are at right now with this person?

1050
01:02:05.760 --> 01:02:09.720
I'm not like overly excited to see her.

1051
01:02:09.720 --> 01:02:12.680
I don't know why, like she's a cool person,

1052
01:02:15.840 --> 01:02:18.680
but like there's just so many moving pieces

1053
01:02:18.680 --> 01:02:21.720
in my head right now from putting an offer on a house

1054
01:02:21.720 --> 01:02:26.720
and the posing process and that.

1055
01:02:26.840 --> 01:02:31.840
And doing my cross country road trip to DC next Tuesday.

1056
01:02:34.000 --> 01:02:35.840
Yeah, you got a lot going on.

1057
01:02:35.840 --> 01:02:37.600
Yeah, it's just like a bunch of stuff in my head

1058
01:02:37.600 --> 01:02:42.600
that's like, even jumping on that ARC site,

1059
01:02:43.600 --> 01:02:46.880
even though that's free and getting like clicks,

1060
01:02:46.880 --> 01:02:50.080
like not clicks, getting like likes or random comments

1061
01:02:50.080 --> 01:02:53.840
from someone that's like 15 years older than me

1062
01:02:53.840 --> 01:02:55.800
or 15 years younger saying, hey cutie.

1063
01:02:55.800 --> 01:02:59.800
And I'm like, well, I guess this is the hanky.

1064
01:02:59.800 --> 01:03:00.760
Hi, nice to meet you.

1065
01:03:00.760 --> 01:03:04.400
And, but then like, I put my phone down

1066
01:03:04.400 --> 01:03:05.760
and I don't look at it for a few days

1067
01:03:05.760 --> 01:03:09.160
and then all of a sudden they're not there,

1068
01:03:09.160 --> 01:03:12.040
you know, like they've lost interest or something.

1069
01:03:15.000 --> 01:03:15.840
Even the gal.

1070
01:03:15.840 --> 01:03:17.400
It can be seen as far as this ARC app.

1071
01:03:17.400 --> 01:03:19.720
I mean, you know, we feel like.

1072
01:03:19.720 --> 01:03:21.680
Like I like it better for sure.

1073
01:03:21.680 --> 01:03:22.880
Yeah, we feel like, I mean, you know,

1074
01:03:22.880 --> 01:03:24.080
it's just like anything.

1075
01:03:25.080 --> 01:03:30.080
They reached out to us because, I mean, this is,

1076
01:03:31.160 --> 01:03:32.640
first of all, one of the interesting things is

1077
01:03:32.640 --> 01:03:35.440
this is like Christians who have developed

1078
01:03:35.440 --> 01:03:36.600
an app for Christians.

1079
01:03:36.600 --> 01:03:41.600
So most Christians aren't actually ran by Christian people.

1080
01:03:41.680 --> 01:03:43.640
But anyway, that they reached out to us

1081
01:03:43.640 --> 01:03:48.640
because they wanted an element of like healthy conversation

1082
01:03:48.640 --> 01:03:53.640
around relationships, heartwork, preparation for marriage,

1083
01:03:53.960 --> 01:03:55.880
preparation for relationships.

1084
01:03:55.880 --> 01:03:57.680
And they don't have that content.

1085
01:03:58.920 --> 01:04:00.800
And they heard about our program

1086
01:04:00.800 --> 01:04:05.800
and they like our balance and very healthy,

1087
01:04:06.000 --> 01:04:09.800
spiritual, but yet fun approach to, you know, what we do.

1088
01:04:09.800 --> 01:04:14.200
When we talk about, you know, preparing for, you know,

1089
01:04:14.200 --> 01:04:15.720
marriage, minor, and all that stuff.

1090
01:04:15.720 --> 01:04:20.160
Preparing for, you know, marriage, minor relationship.

1091
01:04:20.160 --> 01:04:23.560
So we'll see how that goes

1092
01:04:23.560 --> 01:04:25.440
and we'll see how that works out with them.

1093
01:04:25.440 --> 01:04:30.280
I don't really know how, you know, people are just people.

1094
01:04:30.280 --> 01:04:33.600
So regardless of what kind of technology you put together,

1095
01:04:33.600 --> 01:04:36.200
people will just act like people do.

1096
01:04:36.200 --> 01:04:38.960
But at the same time, I think there's a set of culture.

1097
01:04:38.960 --> 01:04:40.720
There's a set of like parameters

1098
01:04:40.720 --> 01:04:43.760
that they're trying to put in play there

1099
01:04:43.760 --> 01:04:48.600
that help facilitate good Christian people

1100
01:04:49.680 --> 01:04:51.080
to connect in healthy ways,

1101
01:04:51.080 --> 01:04:53.400
rather than just, you know, like all the other apps,

1102
01:04:53.400 --> 01:04:56.240
just swiping and just trying to, you know,

1103
01:04:56.240 --> 01:04:57.080
tend to-

1104
01:04:57.080 --> 01:04:58.960
You know, for all the wrong reasons type thing.

1105
01:04:58.960 --> 01:04:59.800
Yeah.

1106
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:06.560
By the way, just real quick, I did ask that lady from community out on a date for in-person

1107
01:05:06.560 --> 01:05:15.720
for when I'm established in school, like when I moved to Iowa and I'm set up there.

1108
01:05:15.720 --> 01:05:16.720
She's in Wisconsin.

1109
01:05:16.720 --> 01:05:23.720
So it's like, oh, you know, by comparison, that's only a five or six hour drive compared

1110
01:05:23.720 --> 01:05:27.600
to the 40 hours I'm going to be on the road.

1111
01:05:27.600 --> 01:05:28.600
So.

1112
01:05:28.600 --> 01:05:29.600
Right.

1113
01:05:30.600 --> 01:05:31.600
Good.

1114
01:05:31.600 --> 01:05:35.720
Well, we're we're we're hopeful with you then on that and.

1115
01:05:35.720 --> 01:05:37.400
And we're supporting you in that.

1116
01:05:37.400 --> 01:05:38.400
Thank you for the update.

1117
01:05:38.400 --> 01:05:39.400
Yeah.

1118
01:05:39.400 --> 01:05:40.400
Yeah.

1119
01:05:40.400 --> 01:05:41.400
Good.

1120
01:05:41.400 --> 01:05:42.400
Just good stuff.

1121
01:05:42.400 --> 01:05:48.040
I got a quick question, David, the Hartworth Book Printed Edition.

1122
01:05:48.040 --> 01:05:53.200
Is that something that is normally sold by Amazon because I saw it online?

1123
01:05:53.200 --> 01:05:54.680
Yeah, it's published.

1124
01:05:54.680 --> 01:05:56.040
It's published on Amazon only.

1125
01:05:56.040 --> 01:05:57.040
OK.

1126
01:05:57.040 --> 01:05:58.520
Oh, well, that works out.

1127
01:05:58.520 --> 01:06:00.640
It's a KDP Amazon publication.

1128
01:06:00.640 --> 01:06:01.640
Cool beans.

1129
01:06:01.640 --> 01:06:06.240
I was going to buy it and give it to my church before I left Vegas.

1130
01:06:06.240 --> 01:06:07.240
Yeah.

1131
01:06:07.240 --> 01:06:08.240
Thank you.

1132
01:06:08.240 --> 01:06:09.240
That'd be great.

1133
01:06:09.240 --> 01:06:10.240
Hi, guys.

1134
01:06:10.240 --> 01:06:12.000
Eight past the hour there.

1135
01:06:12.000 --> 01:06:14.120
So love y'all.

1136
01:06:14.120 --> 01:06:20.480
And if you got some things that you want to suggest as far as like men activities, we'll

1137
01:06:20.480 --> 01:06:24.920
kind of try to see if we can get something together.

1138
01:06:24.920 --> 01:06:28.800
It'd be kind of I know everybody's all over the country, but who knows, we might be able

1139
01:06:28.800 --> 01:06:33.360
to put something together that works out for a lot of guys to come together and do something

1140
01:06:33.360 --> 01:06:34.360
fun.

1141
01:06:34.360 --> 01:06:36.960
Let's play some football building, life building.

1142
01:06:36.960 --> 01:06:39.160
It's going to be good.

1143
01:06:39.160 --> 01:06:41.160
Men's Roman Candle Fight.

1144
01:06:41.160 --> 01:06:44.920
Roman Candle Fight or kick.

1145
01:06:44.920 --> 01:06:45.920
Let's play.

1146
01:06:45.920 --> 01:06:46.920
Let's play football.

1147
01:06:46.920 --> 01:06:49.960
Tackle football on a football field.

1148
01:06:49.960 --> 01:06:51.400
And an NFL stadium.

1149
01:06:51.400 --> 01:06:52.400
I'm on Abram C.

1150
01:06:53.400 --> 01:06:58.400
You guys will have a chance to get off the knees and you're all done.

1151
01:06:58.400 --> 01:06:59.400
Yeah.

1152
01:06:59.400 --> 01:07:00.400
Oh, man.

1153
01:07:00.400 --> 01:07:01.400
Painful.

1154
01:07:01.400 --> 01:07:02.400
The trash talk begins.

1155
01:07:02.400 --> 01:07:03.400
Fishing group.

1156
01:07:03.400 --> 01:07:04.400
Fishing.

1157
01:07:04.400 --> 01:07:05.400
Dude, buddy writing.

1158
01:07:05.400 --> 01:07:06.400
Come on.

1159
01:07:06.400 --> 01:07:07.400
I'm actually learning some jujitsu with some other guys.

1160
01:07:07.400 --> 01:07:08.400
Nice.

1161
01:07:08.400 --> 01:07:09.400
It's good.

1162
01:07:09.400 --> 01:07:10.400
All right, guys.

1163
01:07:10.400 --> 01:07:11.400
I'm going to conclude the call.

1164
01:07:11.400 --> 01:07:36.400
I just thank you right now, Lord, as they are endeavoring to really truly come into

1165
01:07:36.400 --> 01:07:43.100
their most authentic kingdom identity, Lord, that they're just they're met by your promise.

1166
01:07:43.100 --> 01:07:48.580
You promised that you would. Well, you draw us and then we seek you and then you meet

1167
01:07:48.580 --> 01:07:52.240
us there. And so, Father God, we thank you for that. We thank you that you see us. We

1168
01:07:52.240 --> 01:07:58.080
thank you that you know us. We thank you that you care enough to really bring us into our

1169
01:07:58.080 --> 01:08:04.800
best selves. And we just pray this in Jesus name. Amen. And amen. God bless you guys.

1170
01:08:04.800 --> 01:08:05.400
Have a great night.

1171
01:08:06.400 --> 01:08:08.400
Good night, man.