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Okay, ladies, welcome.

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This is your phase 2 live heart check-in.

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It's May 6, 2025.

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Any newbies here?

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I know Kathy said she just graduated heart work phase 1.

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Do I have anybody else that's new?

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Missy, yes, good to see you.

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And Madison, awesome.

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Lots of new faces.

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I love it.

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Awesome.

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Well, ladies, just to quickly introduce myself,

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my name is Carla Johnson.

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I am a phase 2 dating coach here at Last Year Single.

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I was part of their program.

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I joined Jackie in middle late of 2020,

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kind of when she, like, grand launched her program.

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And I was in that program for a couple years single

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and have now been married.

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It'll be two years in September,

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so we're, like, about a year and a half in.

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We are blending a family.

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It's a lot, but it's good.

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All right, what I can say is I've been in your seat,

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and all I can say is that this preparation period

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in your last year single really will prep you for all the things

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that God wants to do in your life and get you ready for marriage

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because, you know, Jackie will be very candid with you.

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You know, marriage is not always super easy,

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but it's very worth it.

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And so it's good to do your heart work

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and do all the preparation now

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so that you can step into that love story

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the way that God has it for you,

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and it's just going to be awesome.

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All right, I've seen it happen to so many people,

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and if it can happen for them and it can happen for me,

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it's going to happen for you, too.

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So, yeah, let's go ahead and get started.

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I'm going to do a couple housekeeping things,

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and then we'll jump right in.

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So please make sure, because we got a couple newbies in here,

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please make sure that you're checking all of the posts,

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the pinned posts in the app,

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especially that one where you all are going to put

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your roll call responses on.

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It just helps us to be able to check in with you

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and see where you're at and how you're doing,

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what you're working on, and then, you know,

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don't be afraid to make those posts for Ask a Coach,

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any wins that you want to celebrate.

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If you have some relationship milestones,

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definitely make sure that you're creating posts in there

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that myself and Ebony can come in there,

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cheer you on, be your cheerleaders,

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and also help you just navigate this phase, okay?

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Because this is what we like to call the dating phase,

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but I don't want you all to freak out, okay?

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Because that first video,

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Jackie prompts you ladies to do that seven-day challenge,

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and I know it never fails.

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I get women that come in, they're like,

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oh my gosh, seven days, I'm scared,

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I haven't dated in years, da-da-da-da.

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Like, I get it, okay?

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Don't let it scare you.

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It really is just a way for you to come out of hiding

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and start putting those heartwork tools to practice,

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and it's not just dating.

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That heartwork that you did in phase one

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is going to help you in all relationships.

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So you get to pace the dating process however you want.

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Everybody's got their own journey.

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Some people like to just dive off the high dive

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and into the big deep end and go all in.

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Some ladies, myself, okay,

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I will testify that this was me,

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I was like, I'm just going to put my pinky toe in.

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I'm not sure I'm ready for that,

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because I had a son who was a few years old,

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and I hadn't dated since his dad split from me,

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so that was really scary for me.

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So I had to do some heartwork stuff.

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I had to just kind of go at the slow route.

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I wouldn't suggest doing that,

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because it took me about a year to really fully take on dating.

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I wouldn't suggest that,

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but just know y'all are going to go at the pace

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that God has for you, okay?

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This phase will stretch you.

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This phase will get you out of that comfort zone,

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but it doesn't have to be scary.

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Because you have a support system here.

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You've got your sisters here in this community.

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You've got myself and Ebony that are here with you

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through that whole process, okay?

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So yeah, just make sure that you're checking all of those tabs

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and making posts and doing that.

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Also, I want you to be making sure

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that you're checking even all the tabs.

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So I'm not just talking about where you post.

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but I'm also talking about where you're gonna get

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your course content.

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So that's gonna be in the app.

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And then there's a resource page

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that I really wanna emphasize for you ladies to check out.

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I'm starting to see some questions creep in in the app

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where a lot of that information

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is gonna be under the resource tab.

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So for example, I don't know if any of you,

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if you're not following Jackie on any social media,

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I would highly encourage you to do that.

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But you probably, if you are,

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you probably saw that she took a group of ladies

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from our last year single community to Cartagena, Columbia.

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And so I think that's wrapping up now.

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I think they just got back.

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And so we offer those last trip singles.

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And when we have those trips,

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we post those in the resource tab.

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So all the information for all the trips that are coming up

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will be under that tab, okay?

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It's where you'll go to sign up.

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It's where you're gonna go

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to get all the information that you need.

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I also wanna emphasize, if you didn't see in our app

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that Bethany made a post that we just added

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two new single cities to our directory, I guess.

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You know, we have a dozen of those

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all throughout the country.

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I think we've got some in Canada as well.

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So just be on the lookout for that.

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So again, for you new ladies,

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single cities are gonna be in the Facebook.

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And so you're gonna request to join.

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And all the information on how you join

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is gonna be under that resource tab.

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So there's a special code based on the city

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that you're joining.

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And you're going to need to put in,

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there's a questions that pop up

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when you're trying to join a Facebook group.

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I'm sure if you've joined Facebook groups before,

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sometimes those things pop up,

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like what's your name?

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What's the email you use to sign up for this program?

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And then they're gonna specifically ask you

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for a specific code for that single city.

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You don't get that code unless you go into the resource tab.

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There's a document there, make sure you pull it up.

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It's also gonna give you a list

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of all the single cities that we offer.

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Please just join one.

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Join the one that's closest to you, okay?

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So just, okay, I live in the Dallas-Fort Worth area.

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So we have a great Dallas single city.

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And we even will sometimes have events

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with the Austin community as well.

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I know the girl that moderates that single city, Dallas,

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she's in the works of doing all sorts of events.

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I think one's coming up in like 10 days

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that she's trying to get some people together to do.

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There's talks of possibly doing a meet in the middle,

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kind of go to Waco at Magnolia Market

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for the Austin and the Dallas girls and guys.

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There's guys in that group too.

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Not as many guys, but there are guys there.

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And so just make sure that you go check it out.

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Get connected with the women in this community.

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And like, I can't tell you like the friendships

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that I've made through this program.

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Like so many of them came to my wedding.

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They were in my wedding.

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And it's just, it's good to do life

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with people that are in the season that you're in.

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And then when y'all get married,

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y'all can go do merry things with each other, okay?

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So just keep that in mind.

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And then ladies, just remember these live calls

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are super important to get to.

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If you can get to them, we have the one o'clock,

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which is right now.

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And we have eight o'clock Eastern one as well.

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I always encourage, if you can go to both, go.

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The one o'clock one is the one

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that we typically post and replay.

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There's so much that we post and replay.

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We just can't post both of them.

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So it is usually this one o'clock one.

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So again, go to the eight o'clock one

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because that one's not gonna be in replay,

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but don't not come to one o'clock as well, okay?

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So I think I covered just about everything.

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I hope that answers a lot of questions

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because we have a handful of ladies

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that just graduated phase one and are here at phase two.

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Let's go ahead and pray.

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And then we'll do, I'll leave some space for you ladies

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to kind of, the ladies that were here last week

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to share how they did on their activation.

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And then I will open the floor to you ladies

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to ask all your questions, okay?

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So Heavenly Father, I just thank you for this day.

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I also thank you for all these women.

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I thank you for this time for us just to come together

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and just renew our hope and fill,

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give us encouragement with what you have in store for us.

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Lord, I just, I thank you for the wisdom

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that you have present for all the women

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here in this community.

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me. And I just pray that we all have open ears and hearts to

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receive. And again, we thank you for this time in Jesus name.

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Amen. All right. So ladies that were here last week. And listen

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to Supernatural Saturday from two weeks ago. We talked about

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pruning. Okay, Jackie done a teaching on pruning two

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Saturdays ago, when I was in the program, that was probably

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one of the most life changing teachings that Jackie did for

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me. And so I was activated to do a lot of pruning in that,

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especially that first year that I was, I was not really dating,

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but I was really working this program, I was intentionally

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showing up, which I encourage all you ladies to do. And so I'm

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interested, how many of you have found that God is

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highlighting some things for you to prune? Remember, there's, we

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prune dead things. We prune sick and dying things like and we

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have to really decide, okay, if this is sick and dying, do I let

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it go? Or do I need to prioritize it to like bring it

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back to life. And then the heart of one that one of the hardest

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ones that I think was and it was difficult for me. And it was

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really helping me prepare for my marriage season is those

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pruning the good things for the great things. So I'm interested,

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excuse me, what has God been speaking to some of you to

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prune? And how has that gone for you this week? Now those of you

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ladies that just jumped into phase two, this is probably new.

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So don't worry, I'm not putting you on the spotlight right now.

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But those ladies that have been here for a couple weeks. I'd

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love I'd love to hear you share. So just go ahead and mute. And I

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want to hear what what God's what God's doing as far as your

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pruning season is going.

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I'll go.

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Awesome. Thank you.

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I was like, but I can't hear you.

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That's okay. Well, I was waiting for somebody else to step up.

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But he's for the last few weeks. He's been like, having me

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basically got my house, my garage, my closets, my

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everything. And making room for a partner because right now,

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like, it's all me and and there wouldn't be room for one other

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person, much less an animal in here. So

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I love that. Yes, that's good. I did the same thing. I mean,

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yeah, it's, we kind of contend to gravitate towards that clean

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out the closets, declutter things like those are, those are

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things that are definitely necessary to prepare for

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marriage. I had to do that because God was working on me. I

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did not want to move. I did not want to leave Florida. But my

254
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husband was in Texas. And so I had to I mean, I started

255
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decluttering way before I met him so that when I had to move,

256
00:13:07.000 --> 00:13:10.080
it was a little bit easier to sort through my stuff. Because

257
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I gotten rid of so much and another thing that God had me

258
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prone. And so this is sometimes the hard stuff that you're going

259
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to prune. Y'all I was a single mom. And I had struggles with

260
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his father. And I had calendars and notes of all the things like

261
00:13:30.120 --> 00:13:33.720
all the documentation about visitation things that you know,

262
00:13:33.920 --> 00:13:38.480
in case he ever wanted to come after me for, you know, custody

263
00:13:38.480 --> 00:13:43.800
or whatever. I had all this documentation. And God had me

264
00:13:43.800 --> 00:13:50.800
prune and throw all of it in the garbage. Like, so just continue

265
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to keep listening to Holy Spirit. Ask him what it is that

266
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you need to prune because he will prune lots of good things

267
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and it will it will help your heart and your soul. Okay.

268
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Anybody else want to share what they I want? Yes. Go for it.

269
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All right. So because there's a lot in a lot of different areas.

270
00:14:12.720 --> 00:14:17.800
So because you were talking about documents, so I shredded

271
00:14:17.800 --> 00:14:21.040
my divorce papers the other day because I was like, I don't know

272
00:14:21.040 --> 00:14:26.560
if it's I need them for anything legal in the future. And so it

273
00:14:26.560 --> 00:14:30.480
was a question. So I held on to them. And then and then so

274
00:14:30.680 --> 00:14:36.480
actually, before the pruning session came in, I had already

275
00:14:36.480 --> 00:14:40.600
purposed in my heart to shred them. And so that was just like

276
00:14:40.600 --> 00:14:46.720
confirmation, right? So I did. I went in here and I went to my

277
00:14:46.720 --> 00:14:53.360
office and I shredded them. And then I'm on this program with

278
00:14:54.360 --> 00:14:59.760
the county health services. And they just I keep telling them to

279
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change.

280
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:03.520
and to take my last married name off.

281
00:15:03.520 --> 00:15:08.520
And it's been three years and they just haven't done it.

282
00:15:08.800 --> 00:15:12.700
So I finally wrote a note, like, I don't know,

283
00:15:12.700 --> 00:15:15.880
two weeks ago, and I got a letter in the mail saying,

284
00:15:15.880 --> 00:15:17.240
hey, we'll change your name.

285
00:15:17.240 --> 00:15:19.040
We'll get that last name off of there

286
00:15:19.040 --> 00:15:20.720
if you bring in your social security number

287
00:15:20.720 --> 00:15:23.520
and show us, I mean, your card and show us that

288
00:15:23.520 --> 00:15:26.120
your legal name, what your legal name is.

289
00:15:26.120 --> 00:15:28.120
So I did that this morning.

290
00:15:28.120 --> 00:15:31.720
So, because I was like, I need to get it done.

291
00:15:31.720 --> 00:15:36.720
I need to get it off of my correspondence

292
00:15:37.160 --> 00:15:40.800
that they send to me without that name on there anymore.

293
00:15:40.800 --> 00:15:44.880
So that was the two things, but he's been working on like,

294
00:15:44.880 --> 00:15:49.880
I'm an artist and so I am multiple media.

295
00:15:50.520 --> 00:15:54.040
So I do ceramics and jewelry and stained glass

296
00:15:54.040 --> 00:15:59.040
and painting, and so I have a lot of different equipment

297
00:16:01.160 --> 00:16:02.120
and things like that.

298
00:16:02.120 --> 00:16:06.800
And so I asked him, Lord, what do you want me to do?

299
00:16:06.800 --> 00:16:08.280
Because I was teaching classes

300
00:16:08.280 --> 00:16:11.040
and so I had tables and chairs and blah, blah, blah.

301
00:16:11.040 --> 00:16:13.320
And so he's like, get rid of, he goes,

302
00:16:13.320 --> 00:16:18.320
you can keep some stained glass for making product,

303
00:16:20.640 --> 00:16:23.200
but get rid of all of the teaching stuff,

304
00:16:23.200 --> 00:16:28.200
all of the eight irons and five tables, whatever.

305
00:16:30.200 --> 00:16:34.080
And just like hone down so that you're just using

306
00:16:34.080 --> 00:16:36.520
your materials for making product,

307
00:16:36.520 --> 00:16:38.200
because I have a business.

308
00:16:38.200 --> 00:16:39.680
And so.

309
00:16:40.640 --> 00:16:43.720
Yeah, it's like, he's helping you prioritize

310
00:16:43.720 --> 00:16:45.480
what he's calling you to do.

311
00:16:45.480 --> 00:16:48.320
So that's, again, ladies go back and listen

312
00:16:48.320 --> 00:16:50.560
to that Supernatural Saturday from two weeks ago

313
00:16:50.560 --> 00:16:52.680
and this past week as well.

314
00:16:53.040 --> 00:16:55.320
And you'll hear more about that teaching.

315
00:16:55.320 --> 00:16:57.040
It's really, really good.

316
00:16:57.880 --> 00:17:00.120
But inevitably that's what it is.

317
00:17:00.120 --> 00:17:04.800
It's what do you want to prioritize in your life?

318
00:17:04.800 --> 00:17:07.240
And how are you gonna make room for that?

319
00:17:07.240 --> 00:17:10.760
Okay, like Jackie talked on that Supernatural Saturdays,

320
00:17:10.760 --> 00:17:15.760
like, oftentimes what happens is people have good hearts

321
00:17:17.520 --> 00:17:20.520
and good intentions to come in and work on certain things.

322
00:17:20.520 --> 00:17:23.720
And then they're like, oh, I just don't have time.

323
00:17:23.720 --> 00:17:25.880
But are we really being intentional with our time?

324
00:17:25.880 --> 00:17:29.360
Do we need to prune certain things out of our time,

325
00:17:29.360 --> 00:17:33.320
our day, our schedules to be able to prioritize that?

326
00:17:33.320 --> 00:17:34.520
I mean, I don't know about you all,

327
00:17:34.520 --> 00:17:39.520
but Netflix and like just endless social media scrolling,

328
00:17:39.760 --> 00:17:41.920
like I sometimes always catch myself being like,

329
00:17:41.920 --> 00:17:43.400
oh, I just don't feel like I have time

330
00:17:43.400 --> 00:17:44.480
or oh, I'm too tired of this.

331
00:17:44.480 --> 00:17:47.680
And I'm like, but before I know it,

332
00:17:47.680 --> 00:17:50.160
I'm sitting here just binge watching

333
00:17:50.160 --> 00:17:52.920
whatever show is on Netflix that's new.

334
00:17:52.920 --> 00:17:56.480
Or, you know, and y'all like Netflix is always like,

335
00:17:57.480 --> 00:17:59.320
my husband and I will look through it and he'll say,

336
00:17:59.320 --> 00:18:00.160
oh, this looks good.

337
00:18:00.160 --> 00:18:02.760
And I'm like, that's a TV series.

338
00:18:02.760 --> 00:18:04.360
We don't need to watch that.

339
00:18:04.360 --> 00:18:07.840
We're gonna get stuck.

340
00:18:07.840 --> 00:18:10.680
And then we're not gonna get things done around the house.

341
00:18:10.680 --> 00:18:12.400
Like it's just, yeah.

342
00:18:12.400 --> 00:18:15.080
So I'm always like, we only stick to movie.

343
00:18:15.920 --> 00:18:20.920
So what the Lord is putting me on about YouTube videos

344
00:18:20.960 --> 00:18:24.640
is and social media,

345
00:18:24.640 --> 00:18:27.600
cause I have a lot, I follow a lot of artists

346
00:18:27.600 --> 00:18:30.400
is that I spend a lot of time

347
00:18:30.400 --> 00:18:33.320
watching other people's creativity.

348
00:18:33.320 --> 00:18:36.200
And so I go, oh, that's cool.

349
00:18:36.200 --> 00:18:39.600
Or that, you know, and that's a great idea, blah, blah, blah.

350
00:18:39.600 --> 00:18:43.600
And I can feel my insights in the Holy Spirit going,

351
00:18:43.600 --> 00:18:47.040
what are you doing sitting here looking at their stuff

352
00:18:47.040 --> 00:18:48.560
when you could be over there doing your stuff.

353
00:18:48.560 --> 00:18:50.080
Like you're getting some creative stuff,

354
00:18:50.080 --> 00:18:52.400
but is it becoming more of a distraction?

355
00:18:52.400 --> 00:18:53.240
Right.

356
00:18:53.240 --> 00:18:55.040
Where then now you're just being infiltrated.

357
00:18:55.040 --> 00:18:55.880
I don't know about you all,

358
00:18:55.880 --> 00:18:59.880
but when I get too much like sensory overload,

359
00:18:59.880 --> 00:19:02.320
like I don't even know where to start.

360
00:19:02.320 --> 00:19:03.760
So I love that.

361
00:19:03.760 --> 00:19:07.440
Ladies continue to be praying to Holy Spirit

362
00:19:07.440 --> 00:19:10.760
what you need to prune, you know,

363
00:19:10.760 --> 00:19:14.040
so that activation is not gonna necessarily go away,

364
00:19:14.040 --> 00:19:15.960
but I do wanna just jump in real quick.

365
00:19:15.960 --> 00:19:17.960
What I want you ladies working on this week,

366
00:19:17.960 --> 00:19:19.320
this is one of my favorites.

367
00:19:19.320 --> 00:19:21.920
I do this often, like every month,

368
00:19:21.920 --> 00:19:22.960
couple months or so,

369
00:19:22.960 --> 00:19:26.600
I prompt you ladies here in phase two to do this.

370
00:19:27.600 --> 00:19:29.240
And we're about to hit summer season.

371
00:19:29.240 --> 00:19:31.680
Okay, I think we're a little over a month away

372
00:19:31.680 --> 00:19:33.560
until it's officially summer.

373
00:19:33.560 --> 00:19:36.360
And summer season is for me,

374
00:19:36.360 --> 00:19:39.640
is like the perfect excuse to be able to wear dresses

375
00:19:39.720 --> 00:19:41.520
because I live in Texas

376
00:19:41.520 --> 00:19:44.400
and it is like the surface of the sun here.

377
00:19:46.080 --> 00:19:47.800
And so I'm like you,

378
00:19:47.800 --> 00:19:50.040
like it's a necessity to have to wear dresses here.

379
00:19:50.040 --> 00:19:51.560
Honestly, that's just my opinion,

380
00:19:51.560 --> 00:19:55.720
but I really want you ladies to get out there this week.

381
00:19:55.720 --> 00:19:59.080
And I want you to, you know, put on a dress,

382
00:19:59.080 --> 00:20:00.160
get a vibrant.

383
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:05.000
bright, fun, feminine dress and wear it out.

384
00:20:05.400 --> 00:20:08.840
All right, and then post a picture of yourself

385
00:20:08.840 --> 00:20:11.800
in your dress on our app, okay?

386
00:20:11.800 --> 00:20:14.640
And remember, it's just us ladies here, it's safe space.

387
00:20:17.080 --> 00:20:21.000
You wore a dress today, I love it, Jenna, that's awesome.

388
00:20:21.000 --> 00:20:25.700
And yes, Sundays are good dress day, so I'm excited.

389
00:20:25.700 --> 00:20:28.080
I'm excited to see all your cute dresses.

390
00:20:28.080 --> 00:20:31.900
I need some inspiration because I, yeah,

391
00:20:31.900 --> 00:20:33.820
I just need to revamp my wardrobe,

392
00:20:33.820 --> 00:20:36.180
so I need to see all the cute dresses,

393
00:20:36.180 --> 00:20:37.100
especially since I'm getting ready

394
00:20:37.100 --> 00:20:38.820
to go in the summer season,

395
00:20:38.820 --> 00:20:41.660
and I'm about to go to Mexico in about a month or so,

396
00:20:41.660 --> 00:20:43.340
so I need some cute things.

397
00:20:43.340 --> 00:20:46.100
So I wanna get inspiration from you all, okay?

398
00:20:46.100 --> 00:20:48.660
So if nothing, it's just to get inspiration.

399
00:20:48.660 --> 00:20:51.900
But I will tell you, it will activate something in you,

400
00:20:51.900 --> 00:20:54.380
you will be surprised, people will start,

401
00:20:54.380 --> 00:20:56.620
I mean, you'll get people that will comment,

402
00:20:56.640 --> 00:20:57.840
oh, that's a beautiful dress,

403
00:20:57.840 --> 00:20:59.840
or oh, you look really good today.

404
00:20:59.840 --> 00:21:01.000
You will be surprised.

405
00:21:01.000 --> 00:21:03.680
Women that do this, it works.

406
00:21:03.680 --> 00:21:05.720
Yes, Jenna, she was here,

407
00:21:05.720 --> 00:21:08.160
she posted this a couple weeks ago.

408
00:21:08.160 --> 00:21:11.940
She's like, this dress thing actually really worked.

409
00:21:11.940 --> 00:21:15.400
It does, like you'll get noticed, okay?

410
00:21:15.400 --> 00:21:20.400
So put a cute dress on, look good, boost your confidence,

411
00:21:21.000 --> 00:21:24.480
all right, so that's your assignment for the week, okay?

412
00:21:27.040 --> 00:21:29.720
All right, so I'm gonna get ready and take your questions,

413
00:21:29.720 --> 00:21:34.320
but I do, I don't see, my girl Stephanie Davis

414
00:21:34.320 --> 00:21:37.120
is not on here, I think that's her last name, Stephanie.

415
00:21:37.120 --> 00:21:40.920
Stephanie, with the P-H-A-N-E-Y.

416
00:21:40.920 --> 00:21:43.200
I see my other Stephanie here.

417
00:21:43.200 --> 00:21:44.320
Hey, girl.

418
00:21:44.320 --> 00:21:47.400
But anyway, if y'all go on the app,

419
00:21:47.400 --> 00:21:49.800
or your girl Stephanie, she's so great

420
00:21:49.800 --> 00:21:52.240
about posting quick two, three minute videos

421
00:21:52.240 --> 00:21:55.840
and giving us updates, and I just wanted to shoot her horn

422
00:21:55.860 --> 00:21:58.460
because I watched that before I jumped on the call today,

423
00:21:58.460 --> 00:22:00.380
and I loved what she shared.

424
00:22:00.380 --> 00:22:02.980
She was showing up, being obedient

425
00:22:02.980 --> 00:22:04.260
to what God asked her to do.

426
00:22:04.260 --> 00:22:06.560
She went to this event this morning,

427
00:22:06.560 --> 00:22:09.180
and she was gonna leave, and then she's like,

428
00:22:09.180 --> 00:22:12.220
she felt Holy Spirit prompt her to go back in, she did,

429
00:22:12.220 --> 00:22:15.540
and y'all, she started striking up a small talk,

430
00:22:15.540 --> 00:22:18.460
not with men, but with women.

431
00:22:18.460 --> 00:22:20.500
So even though we always prompt you,

432
00:22:20.500 --> 00:22:25.500
make eye contact with men, smile at men,

433
00:22:25.760 --> 00:22:27.480
I also wanna encourage you ladies

434
00:22:27.480 --> 00:22:29.640
to step out of your comfort zone.

435
00:22:29.640 --> 00:22:32.720
Some of you, this comes naturally to you.

436
00:22:32.720 --> 00:22:35.920
For others of us, it doesn't, okay?

437
00:22:35.920 --> 00:22:38.960
And so she started making small talk

438
00:22:38.960 --> 00:22:41.320
with a couple women that were in this event,

439
00:22:41.320 --> 00:22:42.600
and one woman, she started talking

440
00:22:42.600 --> 00:22:43.760
about last year's single to them,

441
00:22:43.760 --> 00:22:46.000
and she's like, you need to come to my church.

442
00:22:46.000 --> 00:22:48.160
I think your husband's there.

443
00:22:49.160 --> 00:22:51.720
And so they just had a really good time.

444
00:22:51.720 --> 00:22:52.960
You know, if y'all watch her,

445
00:22:52.980 --> 00:22:55.580
if you ever are on when Stephanie's on

446
00:22:55.580 --> 00:22:57.500
and you watch her videos, she is super bubbly,

447
00:22:57.500 --> 00:23:00.620
she is so fun to be around, but just check it out.

448
00:23:00.620 --> 00:23:03.260
But I just, I wanna, I wanted to toot her horn

449
00:23:03.260 --> 00:23:06.500
because I wanted that to give you all encouragement

450
00:23:06.500 --> 00:23:10.300
that even though this is the dating phase,

451
00:23:10.300 --> 00:23:11.140
and it can be scary,

452
00:23:11.140 --> 00:23:13.720
it doesn't always have to be about dating.

453
00:23:13.720 --> 00:23:16.940
It literally is just about coming out of hiding,

454
00:23:16.940 --> 00:23:20.200
putting yourself out there, getting to know people,

455
00:23:20.200 --> 00:23:22.360
whether it's men or even women,

456
00:23:22.380 --> 00:23:23.740
because you never know who's gonna,

457
00:23:23.740 --> 00:23:27.320
who's connected to your spirit mate, okay?

458
00:23:27.320 --> 00:23:30.500
So I just, I thought that was something really, really good.

459
00:23:30.500 --> 00:23:32.260
I wanted to share it.

460
00:23:33.620 --> 00:23:36.540
But now I'm gonna open the floor up to you ladies.

461
00:23:36.540 --> 00:23:38.260
I see some hands up.

462
00:23:38.260 --> 00:23:41.020
So my guess is that some of y'all have questions for me,

463
00:23:41.020 --> 00:23:42.300
which is awesome.

464
00:23:43.700 --> 00:23:45.260
Juanita, do you have another question

465
00:23:45.260 --> 00:23:47.440
or was your hand up from sharing before?

466
00:23:48.440 --> 00:23:53.180
I do have a question, okay.

467
00:23:53.180 --> 00:23:54.020
Go for it.

468
00:23:54.020 --> 00:23:59.020
So I've been, so I live in the same town

469
00:24:02.700 --> 00:24:04.300
that my husband and I got married in,

470
00:24:04.300 --> 00:24:08.040
and we got married in 2020,

471
00:24:08.040 --> 00:24:11.100
and then he divorced me and he left.

472
00:24:11.100 --> 00:24:13.260
And so, but I was in love with him,

473
00:24:13.260 --> 00:24:15.100
but he didn't wanna commit.

474
00:24:15.120 --> 00:24:17.040
So, but I still, when I drive around

475
00:24:17.040 --> 00:24:20.520
or when I'm doing stuff, I still have these thoughts,

476
00:24:20.520 --> 00:24:22.120
you know, it's like I pass,

477
00:24:22.120 --> 00:24:24.080
which I pass these places all the time

478
00:24:24.080 --> 00:24:26.360
that we did stuff or whatever.

479
00:24:26.360 --> 00:24:29.400
But I keep having these, you know, it's like,

480
00:24:29.400 --> 00:24:34.400
oh, he's gonna be doing that, or this is May and he'll be,

481
00:24:34.660 --> 00:24:37.520
and then I'm like, why do you have these thoughts?

482
00:24:37.520 --> 00:24:39.560
There's no real big emotion with them.

483
00:24:39.560 --> 00:24:44.560
It's just, they're just memories of thoughts that are,

484
00:24:44.560 --> 00:24:48.500
so I don't, I seriously, I don't know what to do with them.

485
00:24:48.500 --> 00:24:50.640
It's like, do I just like,

486
00:24:53.140 --> 00:24:55.340
you know, just see the thought and go, okay, good.

487
00:24:55.340 --> 00:24:57.500
Yeah, I don't know, tell me, I need help.

488
00:24:57.500 --> 00:24:59.540
Good, this is kind of, you know, I think.

489
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:05.920
I'll be honest, I think a lot of people probably have experienced that same thing. I know I did

490
00:25:05.920 --> 00:25:12.160
in my past. You just, you kind of get, you know, there's that rem, like you reminisce and you see

491
00:25:12.160 --> 00:25:18.480
those things. This is when heart work really is valuable and you can start using those tools.

492
00:25:18.480 --> 00:25:22.160
And it doesn't have to be this, you know, it's not heart surgery. I mean, I know y'all just came

493
00:25:22.160 --> 00:25:28.480
out of phase one and it is like, it is like a scheduled surgery, right? Like you, you really,

494
00:25:28.480 --> 00:25:33.200
like in phase one, we really do have you ladies working on that. But now that you've been through

495
00:25:33.200 --> 00:25:38.880
it, it doesn't have to be as complex. Does that make sense? And so this is when, you know,

496
00:25:39.680 --> 00:25:44.560
you recognize it and be like, Oh Lord, is there, is there something that you need to show me here?

497
00:25:44.560 --> 00:25:49.360
I mean, this is when you just start having, having conversation with the Lord. That's what

498
00:25:49.360 --> 00:25:54.800
helps me where I'm like, okay, Lord, is there something that you need to show me with this

499
00:25:54.800 --> 00:25:59.360
memory or what I'm experiencing? What am I feeling? Is there a fear attached to it? Is there

500
00:25:59.360 --> 00:26:06.080
a lie that's coming up? What's, what's coming to surface? So I would start there, start asking

501
00:26:06.080 --> 00:26:10.640
Holy Spirit to highlight anything that maybe needs a revealing for healing if it's there.

502
00:26:11.920 --> 00:26:17.280
I think it's good that you are recognizing it and you have that self-awareness so that you can,

503
00:26:17.280 --> 00:26:25.040
you can address it. I know for me, like the thing that comes up for me right now to kind of

504
00:26:25.040 --> 00:26:33.840
share with you is how are you about making new memories at some of those places? Have you thought

505
00:26:33.840 --> 00:26:39.200
about going and maybe inviting some girlfriends or some family to go create new memories at some

506
00:26:39.200 --> 00:26:46.400
of these places? Well, I'm creating new memories for myself in those places because I don't have

507
00:26:46.400 --> 00:26:52.960
community here. And that's part of, part of the whole thing is, but the Lord is starting to open

508
00:26:52.960 --> 00:26:58.800
little teeny doors to some women from my past. And just even this morning, there was a connection, but

509
00:26:59.600 --> 00:27:05.200
Can I ask where, where do you live? I live in a little teeny town called Weaverville, California.

510
00:27:05.840 --> 00:27:12.240
Okay. Way up in the mountains. And is it like, is it close to any big city?

511
00:27:13.200 --> 00:27:19.600
It's close to Reading. Okay. Well, here's the thing. I mean, this community we have,

512
00:27:19.600 --> 00:27:26.560
I think we do have a Reading. I would encourage you to jump into single cities, get linked to them,

513
00:27:27.200 --> 00:27:34.240
start, start building community there. We have a lot of like a lot of people that are in that area.

514
00:27:34.240 --> 00:27:39.680
So I think God is going to just continue to bring you community and help you create some new memories

515
00:27:40.400 --> 00:27:46.320
and just get you around a circle of people that are going to just lift you up and give you

516
00:27:46.320 --> 00:27:53.360
encouragement and hope. And then have you done, I'm guessing this is just, I would, I don't want

517
00:27:53.360 --> 00:27:59.600
to assume, but I'm going to ask, did you do any of your, like forgiveness? Did you do soul tie

518
00:27:59.600 --> 00:28:08.000
breaking with your former? Oh yeah. All the time. All the time. Even when it doesn't even like,

519
00:28:08.000 --> 00:28:11.760
it's just a short little bit. I'm like, I'm breaking that soul tie. I'm breaking that.

520
00:28:12.320 --> 00:28:17.280
I had to do the same thing. Like I was never married, but I had to break soul ties with my

521
00:28:17.280 --> 00:28:22.720
son's father. I was never married to him and I had to do a lot of forgiveness. And there are times

522
00:28:22.720 --> 00:28:28.320
that it still would creep back in. And I had to remind myself, no, you know what? I've already,

523
00:28:28.320 --> 00:28:33.120
I've already released this and I would have to sometimes re-release it. So just because we do

524
00:28:33.120 --> 00:28:36.960
that, don't like just think, well, oh, it's not working. No. Sometimes we have to just be like,

525
00:28:36.960 --> 00:28:42.160
no, I already did this. I'm going to, I'm going to give it back to God. They like that, that whole

526
00:28:42.160 --> 00:28:46.400
stuff like to creep back in sometimes. Okay. So I'll just encourage you to do that. Okay.

527
00:28:48.560 --> 00:28:54.320
You feel better? Yes. Yes. Awesome. All right. I only got three other hands up. Is there nobody

528
00:28:54.320 --> 00:28:59.920
else that I got Ruth, Mary and Madison, and I know Madison has to take off. So I am going to grab her

529
00:28:59.920 --> 00:29:06.560
and then I'll grab Ruth and then Mary. Okay. Stephanie, do you have any updates? I think I

530
00:29:06.640 --> 00:29:14.160
need to go in and respond. Did you respond after I responded to you? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Okay.

531
00:29:14.160 --> 00:29:18.880
I'll go in and respond to that too. But if we, if you want to jump in, we can do that as well. Okay.

532
00:29:20.320 --> 00:29:26.640
All right. Madison. Hey girl, how are you? What's going on? Okay. I have a couple

533
00:29:27.440 --> 00:29:31.120
tough things to prune and I need some feedback on them. I don't really know

534
00:29:31.760 --> 00:29:38.400
what to do. The first one is that I, for the last eight years, I've been working on adopting a child

535
00:29:40.080 --> 00:29:47.280
and I'm adopting internationally from Bulgaria. I felt called since I was 18 to adopt a child

536
00:29:48.160 --> 00:29:52.320
and started the process eight years ago. And it's kind of been stagnant for the last

537
00:29:52.880 --> 00:29:57.440
three years or so. And I'm starting to realize that the children that are coming out of Bulgaria

538
00:29:57.440 --> 00:30:00.240
are not really a match for what I'm looking for.

539
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:05.640
And I have been able to meet some men that want to adopt, but it is a pretty major deterrent

540
00:30:05.640 --> 00:30:09.840
in the dating world.

541
00:30:09.840 --> 00:30:12.920
I've already spent about $15,000 doing that.

542
00:30:12.920 --> 00:30:17.560
I've told every single person I know, people have donated.

543
00:30:17.560 --> 00:30:22.760
It's been like a lifelong calling, and I don't know if God wants to change it to a domestic

544
00:30:22.760 --> 00:30:29.320
adoption or what, but canceling it would be an enormous deal.

545
00:30:29.320 --> 00:30:36.000
So this sounds like one of these things, we're trying to decide, is this the sick and dying,

546
00:30:36.000 --> 00:30:41.800
and do we need to spend more time on it, or do we need to let it go?

547
00:30:41.800 --> 00:30:44.800
This is that, you're probably in that process.

548
00:30:44.800 --> 00:30:51.400
And so, have you spent a decent amount of time just praying about it, asking for confirmation?

549
00:30:51.400 --> 00:30:58.200
Yeah, I mean, the last year the adoption was on hold, and it just had to come off of hold.

550
00:30:58.200 --> 00:31:03.960
And so I've spent the last year thinking and praying about it, and I think I had to

551
00:31:03.960 --> 00:31:08.680
change, I made a soul tie or a vow or whatever to do this adoption.

552
00:31:08.680 --> 00:31:13.200
And I, last phase, I decided to break that off and be like, okay, well, I never wanted

553
00:31:13.200 --> 00:31:17.760
to have biological kids, but now I'm going to be open to that.

554
00:31:17.760 --> 00:31:21.800
And so I'm keeping it on the back burner, and it's still open.

555
00:31:21.800 --> 00:31:25.780
I don't think I'm going to be getting a match soon, but I just didn't know if that was something

556
00:31:25.780 --> 00:31:32.180
that I needed to be really bold and cancel the adoption for a breakthrough, or if it's

557
00:31:32.180 --> 00:31:36.820
okay to kind of have that simmering, and then maybe I'll make it work.

558
00:31:36.820 --> 00:31:41.580
Yeah, that was kind of my first thought is, does it have to be something that has to be

559
00:31:41.580 --> 00:31:46.820
a very much like, I'm cutting it off, sort of deal.

560
00:31:46.820 --> 00:31:53.340
Is this just a, I'm not going to invest all my time in this, I'm not removing it, because

561
00:31:53.340 --> 00:31:59.500
if you really do feel that the Lord at some point called you to adoption, it may be one

562
00:31:59.500 --> 00:32:03.700
of those situations where you're called to that, but it's not, you're not in that season

563
00:32:03.700 --> 00:32:04.700
right now.

564
00:32:04.700 --> 00:32:10.100
That it doesn't, it's not in your seasons in the future.

565
00:32:10.100 --> 00:32:14.700
So is this something where, okay, it's taken up a lot of time, it's taken up a lot of money

566
00:32:14.700 --> 00:32:21.140
so that you can just press pause on it while you then ask the Holy Spirit, okay, what is

567
00:32:21.140 --> 00:32:23.820
it that you want me to step into right now?

568
00:32:23.820 --> 00:32:26.620
What is it that I need to be intentional with my time?

569
00:32:26.620 --> 00:32:29.740
What do I need to make a priority in my life right now?

570
00:32:29.740 --> 00:32:34.180
And maybe that's dating, maybe that's this program, maybe that's, you know, a career

571
00:32:34.180 --> 00:32:36.460
thing or like, whatever that is.

572
00:32:36.460 --> 00:32:39.260
Yeah, it's not taking up any time.

573
00:32:39.260 --> 00:32:40.380
So that's good to know.

574
00:32:40.380 --> 00:32:41.380
I think I agree.

575
00:32:41.380 --> 00:32:43.300
I think that I can kind of keep it open.

576
00:32:43.300 --> 00:32:44.300
Yeah.

577
00:32:44.300 --> 00:32:51.580
I'm one of those big ad proponents for like, for me, and maybe other people can relate

578
00:32:51.580 --> 00:32:52.580
to this.

579
00:32:52.580 --> 00:32:59.300
What has always worked for me in the past is I tend to follow what gives me peace, right?

580
00:32:59.300 --> 00:33:06.500
Because I don't, I don't believe that God is a God of confusion and anxiety and, you

581
00:33:06.500 --> 00:33:07.500
know, fear.

582
00:33:07.500 --> 00:33:08.500
All right.

583
00:33:08.500 --> 00:33:11.380
When I am not sure of something and I'm like, do I do this?

584
00:33:11.380 --> 00:33:12.380
Do I do that?

585
00:33:12.460 --> 00:33:15.660
And I'm really indecisive.

586
00:33:15.660 --> 00:33:21.100
I tend to be like, okay, Lord, I need peace about a decision.

587
00:33:21.100 --> 00:33:23.260
And that's what I typically follow.

588
00:33:23.260 --> 00:33:30.020
So sometimes my decisions is not make a decision at all and just sit with it and just let it

589
00:33:30.020 --> 00:33:31.020
sit there.

590
00:33:31.020 --> 00:33:33.940
Let it figure itself out and put it on my Jesus cares board.

591
00:33:33.940 --> 00:33:34.940
All right.

592
00:33:34.940 --> 00:33:39.860
Because I think they're saying that back burner that applies in the same way.

593
00:33:39.860 --> 00:33:45.060
And so that's good to hear because there's a man that I was dating before this program

594
00:33:45.060 --> 00:33:52.580
and I posted about this in the, in the whatever thing, and they said they wanted to, to coach

595
00:33:52.580 --> 00:33:53.580
me on it.

596
00:33:53.580 --> 00:34:01.500
But basically we went on here in phase two, I posted here on phase two, I'm going to go

597
00:34:01.500 --> 00:34:02.500
back.

598
00:34:02.500 --> 00:34:06.340
There's a man that, okay, okay.

599
00:34:06.340 --> 00:34:08.820
He was 11 months into a divorce.

600
00:34:08.820 --> 00:34:09.820
Okay.

601
00:34:09.980 --> 00:34:12.500
It was going to be over soon.

602
00:34:12.500 --> 00:34:16.260
But the more time that went on, the more it just was more time added on.

603
00:34:16.260 --> 00:34:23.260
So we decided to press pause and in this time, and I guess the plan is that he's going to

604
00:34:23.260 --> 00:34:25.820
come and reach out to me when the divorce is final.

605
00:34:25.820 --> 00:34:30.340
However, I'm not good at, I'm pretty black and white person.

606
00:34:30.340 --> 00:34:33.820
I'm not good at like having this maybe.

607
00:34:33.820 --> 00:34:37.900
So he told me to reach out if I ever changed my mind and I was all out.

608
00:34:37.900 --> 00:34:42.340
And so as I've been doing this coursework, I've been realizing that he's really not the,

609
00:34:42.340 --> 00:34:44.340
the relationship that we had is not what I want.

610
00:34:44.340 --> 00:34:45.340
Yeah.

611
00:34:45.340 --> 00:34:48.540
But I was going to say, does he have the three M's?

612
00:34:48.540 --> 00:34:49.540
Do you know?

613
00:34:49.540 --> 00:34:50.540
Yeah.

614
00:34:50.540 --> 00:34:51.540
He does.

615
00:34:51.540 --> 00:34:52.540
Okay.

616
00:34:52.540 --> 00:34:53.540
He does.

617
00:34:53.540 --> 00:34:56.780
But I think he, because other than marriage minded, he says he is, but he just got out

618
00:34:56.780 --> 00:34:57.780
of it.

619
00:34:57.780 --> 00:35:00.140
He's not, he's still literally in a marriage, so I don't know that he's like really, really

620
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.920
but even though he wants to be.

621
00:35:01.920 --> 00:35:02.880
Yeah.

622
00:35:02.880 --> 00:35:05.840
And I'm wondering if like when the divorce is over,

623
00:35:05.840 --> 00:35:08.640
he would be able to kind of fully be there with me

624
00:35:08.640 --> 00:35:10.800
and be present, but he kind of was distant

625
00:35:10.800 --> 00:35:13.520
and like clearly distracted.

626
00:35:13.520 --> 00:35:14.360
Well, and here's the thing.

627
00:35:14.360 --> 00:35:17.680
I mean, and I, and other people might

628
00:35:17.680 --> 00:35:19.000
have different opinions on this.

629
00:35:19.000 --> 00:35:20.840
I know Ebony and I, you know,

630
00:35:20.840 --> 00:35:22.320
the other coach here in phase two,

631
00:35:22.320 --> 00:35:24.360
we've had discussions about this and

632
00:35:24.360 --> 00:35:29.360
it's really hard to honor the covenant of marriage

633
00:35:31.400 --> 00:35:36.400
if we're, if there are people that we're connected to

634
00:35:36.600 --> 00:35:38.680
that are also still married.

635
00:35:38.680 --> 00:35:40.760
Like not that those marriages aren't over,

636
00:35:40.760 --> 00:35:43.200
but there's still covenant there.

637
00:35:43.200 --> 00:35:46.320
So if we're wanting to honor a covenant of marriage

638
00:35:46.320 --> 00:35:48.200
for ourselves in the future,

639
00:35:48.200 --> 00:35:51.000
we can't be getting ourselves involved with people

640
00:35:51.000 --> 00:35:52.640
that are still in covenant marriage.

641
00:35:52.640 --> 00:35:54.960
Not that they're, I'm not saying that they're bad people.

642
00:35:54.960 --> 00:35:58.560
So don't hear what I'm not saying here, okay?

643
00:35:58.560 --> 00:36:00.600
But that's where it gets a little tricky.

644
00:36:00.600 --> 00:36:04.760
And so there is gonna be a process probably for him

645
00:36:04.760 --> 00:36:07.600
where he's gonna need to do some healing.

646
00:36:07.600 --> 00:36:10.120
He's gonna need to do some, you know,

647
00:36:10.120 --> 00:36:12.040
hard work on himself, right?

648
00:36:12.040 --> 00:36:15.400
Whether he is in therapy, counseling,

649
00:36:15.400 --> 00:36:18.240
has a life coach, whatever that is.

650
00:36:18.240 --> 00:36:23.240
And so I think it was a good idea for you to say,

651
00:36:24.000 --> 00:36:26.440
look, we can't move forward with this

652
00:36:26.440 --> 00:36:28.440
because you're still married.

653
00:36:28.440 --> 00:36:31.840
I think that was a good decision on your part.

654
00:36:31.840 --> 00:36:33.840
I feel, I was definitely convicted of that.

655
00:36:33.840 --> 00:36:36.160
And I, he didn't tell me that he was married

656
00:36:36.160 --> 00:36:37.600
when we first met.

657
00:36:37.600 --> 00:36:38.720
So I didn't-

658
00:36:38.720 --> 00:36:39.800
I don't love that.

659
00:36:39.800 --> 00:36:40.640
I really don't.

660
00:36:40.640 --> 00:36:42.680
Like to me, that's a yellow flag.

661
00:36:42.680 --> 00:36:44.480
Yeah, he had a lot of yellow flags.

662
00:36:45.320 --> 00:36:46.160
Yeah.

663
00:36:46.160 --> 00:36:48.440
But he also had a lot of really great things.

664
00:36:48.440 --> 00:36:51.160
I was friends with his sisters for like 15 years.

665
00:36:51.160 --> 00:36:52.480
They were like my best friends.

666
00:36:52.480 --> 00:36:55.880
He comes from an awesome like oak tree family,

667
00:36:55.880 --> 00:36:59.560
like just, and he's got so many qualities

668
00:36:59.560 --> 00:37:00.400
that I really like.

669
00:37:00.400 --> 00:37:02.640
And so, but I did feel convicted about that.

670
00:37:02.640 --> 00:37:04.040
And so we did take a pause.

671
00:37:04.040 --> 00:37:08.120
And so I guess my instinct is to cut and run

672
00:37:08.120 --> 00:37:09.280
and be like, that wasn't good.

673
00:37:09.280 --> 00:37:10.120
I don't like it.

674
00:37:10.120 --> 00:37:10.960
Bye.

675
00:37:10.960 --> 00:37:12.280
I'm just gonna start over.

676
00:37:12.280 --> 00:37:13.120
But I also-

677
00:37:13.720 --> 00:37:15.480
I know, like, this is another thing

678
00:37:15.480 --> 00:37:16.840
that Jackie has taught on.

679
00:37:16.840 --> 00:37:19.240
And I think, did she even talk about this

680
00:37:19.240 --> 00:37:21.040
in Supernatural Saturday?

681
00:37:22.080 --> 00:37:26.880
It's really like, oftentimes people struggle with endings.

682
00:37:27.960 --> 00:37:30.120
Yeah, I think she did talk about this in the printing.

683
00:37:30.120 --> 00:37:31.880
It's really difficult with endings,

684
00:37:31.880 --> 00:37:34.320
but endings don't have to always be difficult.

685
00:37:34.320 --> 00:37:37.280
But we're almost like kind of trained

686
00:37:37.280 --> 00:37:39.080
to not do endings well.

687
00:37:39.080 --> 00:37:43.000
So I think it's not unhealthy for you to be like,

688
00:37:43.760 --> 00:37:45.760
like I need to put an end to this.

689
00:37:45.760 --> 00:37:47.760
But I don't think it has to be one of those things

690
00:37:47.760 --> 00:37:49.640
where it has to be a negative.

691
00:37:50.520 --> 00:37:54.280
Because it sounds like you learned

692
00:37:54.280 --> 00:37:57.200
a little bit about yourself and what you do like.

693
00:37:58.240 --> 00:38:00.080
And ladies, I'm gonna share this,

694
00:38:00.080 --> 00:38:02.200
this is what dating will,

695
00:38:02.200 --> 00:38:04.680
dating for discovery will do,

696
00:38:04.680 --> 00:38:08.800
is you will date some really great guys, okay?

697
00:38:08.800 --> 00:38:10.040
You're gonna date some really great guys

698
00:38:10.040 --> 00:38:11.320
that are not your spirit mates.

699
00:38:11.360 --> 00:38:15.440
And I know some of y'all don't wanna hear that, okay?

700
00:38:15.440 --> 00:38:17.960
But dating is, you're gonna probably have to date

701
00:38:17.960 --> 00:38:19.520
a couple of people, all right?

702
00:38:20.560 --> 00:38:22.680
You're not just gonna jump into phase two

703
00:38:22.680 --> 00:38:26.280
and go on one date with the guy and that's your husband.

704
00:38:26.280 --> 00:38:28.800
I would love to say that that happens.

705
00:38:28.800 --> 00:38:33.800
It's not that it can't, it's just not that it's common, okay?

706
00:38:34.280 --> 00:38:36.400
You're gonna go through this process of,

707
00:38:36.400 --> 00:38:37.480
you're gonna date some guys,

708
00:38:37.480 --> 00:38:38.800
you're gonna date some not so great guys,

709
00:38:38.800 --> 00:38:41.120
and you're gonna date some really great guys.

710
00:38:41.800 --> 00:38:43.400
This is that time for discovery, all right?

711
00:38:43.400 --> 00:38:45.840
You get to decide, oh, what do I like?

712
00:38:46.680 --> 00:38:49.080
What did I really enjoy about this person?

713
00:38:49.080 --> 00:38:51.800
So Madison, it sounds like he has some really good qualities.

714
00:38:51.800 --> 00:38:54.040
He came from a really great family.

715
00:38:54.040 --> 00:38:55.680
He seemed marriage-minded.

716
00:38:55.680 --> 00:38:56.840
He seemed like he was mature,

717
00:38:56.840 --> 00:38:59.400
probably masculine in some ways.

718
00:38:59.400 --> 00:39:04.040
And so I would focus on, you know what?

719
00:39:04.040 --> 00:39:06.760
It doesn't have to end poorly

720
00:39:06.760 --> 00:39:09.560
because I got some really great things

721
00:39:09.560 --> 00:39:11.880
from this interaction.

722
00:39:11.880 --> 00:39:14.160
I learned a little bit more about myself.

723
00:39:14.160 --> 00:39:16.840
I learned what boundaries I need to put up

724
00:39:16.840 --> 00:39:20.080
and what, you know, I think that's a big one.

725
00:39:20.080 --> 00:39:20.920
You learn-

726
00:39:20.920 --> 00:39:24.080
Do you think that is gonna spiritually block me

727
00:39:24.080 --> 00:39:25.920
from meeting somebody else?

728
00:39:25.920 --> 00:39:27.200
Well, then that's when, again,

729
00:39:27.200 --> 00:39:28.680
we're gonna need to go through

730
00:39:28.680 --> 00:39:30.400
what things are you believing?

731
00:39:30.400 --> 00:39:34.840
What beliefs, fears, anxious thoughts

732
00:39:34.840 --> 00:39:37.480
are you believing and aligning with it?

733
00:39:37.520 --> 00:39:39.560
And that's where we're gonna have to,

734
00:39:39.560 --> 00:39:41.640
we're gonna prune that.

735
00:39:41.640 --> 00:39:44.640
We're gonna prune some of those lies and beliefs

736
00:39:44.640 --> 00:39:46.760
and we're gonna replace them with God's truth.

737
00:39:46.760 --> 00:39:48.640
And then this is where some revealing for healings

738
00:39:48.640 --> 00:39:49.480
can come into place.

739
00:39:49.480 --> 00:39:51.040
Because ladies, I will tell you,

740
00:39:51.040 --> 00:39:52.880
when you start dating,

741
00:39:52.880 --> 00:39:55.640
there's gonna be revealings for healing.

742
00:39:55.640 --> 00:39:56.960
Okay, Jackie often says,

743
00:39:56.960 --> 00:39:58.160
if you've been hurt in a relationship,

744
00:39:58.160 --> 00:40:00.160
you're gonna be healed in a relationship.

745
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.860
Okay, so you can go through some stuff, all right?

746
00:40:01.860 --> 00:40:03.860
It's not, it doesn't have to be scary.

747
00:40:03.860 --> 00:40:06.220
You got a community here, you got support.

748
00:40:07.100 --> 00:40:09.260
So I would then ask you like,

749
00:40:09.260 --> 00:40:11.580
what belief are you aligning with

750
00:40:11.580 --> 00:40:14.420
that you're sitting here saying this is going to block me?

751
00:40:15.580 --> 00:40:16.660
Why do you believe that?

752
00:40:16.660 --> 00:40:18.940
What's coming to surface?

753
00:40:18.940 --> 00:40:21.300
Where does that, where was, where's the root?

754
00:40:22.300 --> 00:40:24.820
Yeah, I think I'm trying to be like self-protected.

755
00:40:24.820 --> 00:40:26.200
Yeah.

756
00:40:26.200 --> 00:40:27.700
Protected, so.

757
00:40:27.700 --> 00:40:29.260
Yeah, so then that's just, like I said,

758
00:40:29.420 --> 00:40:31.420
just spend some time with Holy Spirit with that.

759
00:40:31.420 --> 00:40:33.260
Pray about it, what gets revealed.

760
00:40:33.260 --> 00:40:35.460
Go through your heart work tools.

761
00:40:35.460 --> 00:40:38.660
And let's see what comes up this week

762
00:40:38.660 --> 00:40:43.660
and then let's see where you're at next week, okay?

763
00:40:43.660 --> 00:40:46.700
Post in the roll call, come here to our live session

764
00:40:46.700 --> 00:40:47.820
and let's see where that is.

765
00:40:47.820 --> 00:40:50.400
Because again, maybe it's a soul tie.

766
00:40:51.380 --> 00:40:54.620
Do you need to do some breaking of a soul tie with this guy?

767
00:40:54.620 --> 00:40:56.980
I did all that, yeah, and I've forgiven him and everything.

768
00:40:57.380 --> 00:40:59.260
I actually don't really think about him every day.

769
00:40:59.260 --> 00:41:00.420
It's not like it's.

770
00:41:00.420 --> 00:41:01.260
That's good.

771
00:41:01.260 --> 00:41:03.060
And if he never texted me again,

772
00:41:03.060 --> 00:41:06.060
I think I might actually, that would be nice.

773
00:41:06.060 --> 00:41:06.900
All right, you're like, please.

774
00:41:06.900 --> 00:41:07.720
Off the hook a little bit.

775
00:41:07.720 --> 00:41:08.740
Shut the door.

776
00:41:08.740 --> 00:41:09.580
Yeah.

777
00:41:11.300 --> 00:41:13.340
But yeah, no, I definitely, yeah,

778
00:41:13.340 --> 00:41:16.420
I don't want you getting hung up on this idea

779
00:41:16.420 --> 00:41:18.700
that I'm still tied to this,

780
00:41:18.700 --> 00:41:21.060
I'm still tied to the possibility,

781
00:41:21.060 --> 00:41:22.460
it's gonna block me from meeting.

782
00:41:22.460 --> 00:41:25.580
Like, let's remove that, let's see where does that come?

783
00:41:26.480 --> 00:41:27.500
What's that lie?

784
00:41:27.500 --> 00:41:28.780
Is it the self-protective?

785
00:41:28.780 --> 00:41:30.740
Where do you not feel protected?

786
00:41:30.740 --> 00:41:34.100
Let's start getting to that, some of that heartwork there

787
00:41:34.100 --> 00:41:36.820
and see what God reveals this week.

788
00:41:36.820 --> 00:41:38.940
All right, spend time with that.

789
00:41:38.940 --> 00:41:39.780
Okay.

790
00:41:41.020 --> 00:41:41.860
Sound good?

791
00:41:43.280 --> 00:41:45.540
Awesome, thank you, Madison, appreciate you.

792
00:41:46.820 --> 00:41:48.100
All right, Ruth, I'm gonna take you

793
00:41:48.100 --> 00:41:50.580
and then I got my girl, Mary.

794
00:41:50.580 --> 00:41:52.280
Sounds good.

795
00:41:53.280 --> 00:41:56.240
Carla, I really just have a question for you

796
00:41:56.240 --> 00:42:01.160
in regards to when I transition to the next phase.

797
00:42:01.160 --> 00:42:05.720
So I've completed the coursework as of this week.

798
00:42:05.720 --> 00:42:08.560
And I think I had, yeah, I had shared a couple of weeks ago

799
00:42:08.560 --> 00:42:11.280
that I haven't been online dating,

800
00:42:11.280 --> 00:42:16.280
I had been meeting men organically and had four dates.

801
00:42:17.280 --> 00:42:19.640
However, and in the past two weeks,

802
00:42:19.640 --> 00:42:22.000
there's a couple of different men that I've talked to,

803
00:42:22.000 --> 00:42:23.200
but I haven't had any dates.

804
00:42:23.200 --> 00:42:27.840
So unfortunately, I think I do have to get on the apps.

805
00:42:27.840 --> 00:42:30.880
I just, I really prefer organic, but-

806
00:42:30.880 --> 00:42:32.840
I know, I get it.

807
00:42:32.840 --> 00:42:34.640
But I know it's a numbers game.

808
00:42:34.640 --> 00:42:39.080
So my goal this coming weekend is to get on an app or two.

809
00:42:39.080 --> 00:42:40.960
So I think my question for you is,

810
00:42:40.960 --> 00:42:44.680
since I am transitioning to the next phase,

811
00:42:44.720 --> 00:42:45.560
my question for you is,

812
00:42:45.560 --> 00:42:49.560
since I am just starting to transition into the apps,

813
00:42:49.560 --> 00:42:52.960
do you recommend that I stay in phase two

814
00:42:52.960 --> 00:42:53.920
for a little bit longer,

815
00:42:53.920 --> 00:42:56.000
if I have questions come up relevant to that,

816
00:42:56.000 --> 00:42:58.520
or do you think I should transition on to the next phase?

817
00:42:58.520 --> 00:42:59.640
You can definitely,

818
00:42:59.640 --> 00:43:02.360
if you think you want a little bit more support,

819
00:43:02.360 --> 00:43:03.680
especially with the online dating,

820
00:43:03.680 --> 00:43:05.540
because I know that's something that, I mean,

821
00:43:05.540 --> 00:43:07.580
I think a lot of us can relate,

822
00:43:07.580 --> 00:43:09.960
that's just not something that we're always like,

823
00:43:09.960 --> 00:43:13.440
yay, I can't wait to get on the apps, right?

824
00:43:13.440 --> 00:43:15.720
And so if that's where you're at

825
00:43:15.720 --> 00:43:18.080
and you want to stick around for a couple of weeks,

826
00:43:18.080 --> 00:43:19.320
that's totally fine.

827
00:43:19.320 --> 00:43:20.140
Okay.

828
00:43:20.140 --> 00:43:20.980
And that way,

829
00:43:20.980 --> 00:43:22.000
because I will tell you,

830
00:43:22.000 --> 00:43:24.840
like with online dating apps, ladies,

831
00:43:24.840 --> 00:43:25.760
and you're going to hear this

832
00:43:25.760 --> 00:43:28.200
when you listen to that online dating video,

833
00:43:28.200 --> 00:43:31.040
is you have to be mentally prepared for it.

834
00:43:31.040 --> 00:43:33.460
You have to be willing to kind of go into it,

835
00:43:33.460 --> 00:43:35.120
just prepare yourself.

836
00:43:35.120 --> 00:43:38.000
Like you're going to deal with

837
00:43:38.000 --> 00:43:40.920
some not so great situations, okay?

838
00:43:40.920 --> 00:43:43.080
It doesn't have to be dire, okay?

839
00:43:43.680 --> 00:43:44.520
It's not like it's going to have to be,

840
00:43:44.520 --> 00:43:45.340
it's like, oh my gosh,

841
00:43:45.340 --> 00:43:46.680
every time I go in, I'm going to have to deal with it.

842
00:43:46.680 --> 00:43:47.520
No.

843
00:43:47.520 --> 00:43:49.880
You're going to learn, ladies,

844
00:43:49.880 --> 00:43:51.280
that you're just not going to give it

845
00:43:51.280 --> 00:43:52.480
as much time and attention

846
00:43:52.480 --> 00:43:54.720
when those types of things arise.

847
00:43:54.720 --> 00:43:58.360
And then when you ladies do get into phase three,

848
00:43:58.360 --> 00:44:00.440
I want to encourage you to go through

849
00:44:00.440 --> 00:44:02.880
some of the replays in phase three.

850
00:44:02.880 --> 00:44:05.040
And the reason I'm saying that

851
00:44:05.040 --> 00:44:08.560
is because last Thursday,

852
00:44:08.560 --> 00:44:10.780
we did a love story.

853
00:44:10.780 --> 00:44:12.160
So what will happen sometimes

854
00:44:12.240 --> 00:44:13.080
when you all are in phase three,

855
00:44:13.080 --> 00:44:15.840
I'm just going to give you a little play by play

856
00:44:15.840 --> 00:44:17.400
of what phase three to look forward to

857
00:44:17.400 --> 00:44:19.300
when you ladies are done in phase two.

858
00:44:20.400 --> 00:44:22.160
We do what's called love story,

859
00:44:22.160 --> 00:44:24.820
where we bring couples back

860
00:44:24.820 --> 00:44:27.360
that are married or engaged.

861
00:44:27.360 --> 00:44:28.920
I think there might've been one or two

862
00:44:28.920 --> 00:44:31.180
in the past that they were engaged.

863
00:44:31.180 --> 00:44:33.920
But most of them are married from our program,

864
00:44:33.920 --> 00:44:35.280
not both people.

865
00:44:35.280 --> 00:44:36.480
So like my husband and I,

866
00:44:36.480 --> 00:44:38.960
we came on a few months ago.

867
00:44:38.960 --> 00:44:41.320
I was in Jackie's program, my husband wasn't.

868
00:44:42.880 --> 00:44:44.840
And the reason I say this is because

869
00:44:44.840 --> 00:44:48.280
one of the girls who was in our program,

870
00:44:48.280 --> 00:44:52.180
she met her husband, he was not in the program,

871
00:44:52.180 --> 00:44:57.180
and she got rejected by him at first.

872
00:44:57.480 --> 00:45:00.440
And the reason I say this...

873
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:07.000
is because she had this mindset like oh that's okay I don't need to carry that

874
00:45:07.000 --> 00:45:11.520
and she was able to release it it's kind of the same thing that you ladies might

875
00:45:11.520 --> 00:45:15.840
experience with online dating you might have to deal with some not-so-great

876
00:45:15.840 --> 00:45:22.560
people but it's learning to be like not offended by it when we bless and block

877
00:45:22.560 --> 00:45:27.160
so you may want to just stick around for a couple weeks so that if for us to help

878
00:45:27.160 --> 00:45:40.120
you navigate what that can look like and yeah but I know I know I was I and I

879
00:45:40.120 --> 00:45:45.160
could keep you know this method but I I'm not I think things are just like it

880
00:45:45.160 --> 00:45:49.240
not as active as they could be you're gonna be now you're gonna be put in

881
00:45:49.240 --> 00:45:53.800
you're coming out of more hiding and you're just being able to meet some more

882
00:45:53.800 --> 00:45:57.800
people and discover more about what you like and what you don't you are who

883
00:45:57.800 --> 00:46:03.440
you're not right what you're willing to you know prioritize what you're not like

884
00:46:03.440 --> 00:46:10.400
all of those things it's just gonna give you more practice and honestly I found

885
00:46:10.400 --> 00:46:15.440
that after I went through heartwork and I went on the apps it was way more

886
00:46:15.440 --> 00:46:21.480
enjoyable than it was before I had heartwork because I was just coming in

887
00:46:21.480 --> 00:46:27.760
it with new information new tools new mindsets new attitude I had broken off

888
00:46:27.760 --> 00:46:33.280
some of my you know you know lies and beliefs that I was aligning with that

889
00:46:33.280 --> 00:46:38.240
were not from God and you know you'll hear Jackie say oftentimes like what you

890
00:46:38.240 --> 00:46:42.280
believe you become and what you become you attract so when you start believing

891
00:46:42.280 --> 00:46:45.800
differently about yourself and believing differently about online dating apps and

892
00:46:45.800 --> 00:46:51.280
believing differently about men you're gonna start attracting much healthier

893
00:46:51.280 --> 00:46:58.640
men much healthier versions okay and when that happens like it's just it all

894
00:46:58.640 --> 00:47:03.360
comes together it's like the law of attraction all right so I think it will

895
00:47:03.360 --> 00:47:09.600
be good I think I'm excited for you and we're here to support you we're here to

896
00:47:09.600 --> 00:47:14.360
help you navigate it thank you clarifying question and I don't know if

897
00:47:14.360 --> 00:47:18.480
you have the answer to this but just projecting out three to four weeks so

898
00:47:18.480 --> 00:47:25.280
that I can block my calendar do you know when that third face meets um I

899
00:47:25.280 --> 00:47:34.320
think there are occasionally Tuesday nights and Thursdays okay yes okay but

900
00:47:34.320 --> 00:47:38.120
we don't know what time yeah um time would probably be eight o'clock eight

901
00:47:38.120 --> 00:47:42.160
o'clock Eastern yeah most of our time stuff is usually one o'clock Eastern

902
00:47:42.160 --> 00:47:47.200
eight o'clock Eastern okay the the ones that with phase three it's typically

903
00:47:47.200 --> 00:47:51.400
more evenings phase one and two I think are the ones that we do more of the one

904
00:47:51.400 --> 00:47:58.720
o'clock okay thank you you are welcome all right Mary how are you I always love

905
00:47:58.720 --> 00:48:03.080
hearing your updates and then Jenna she is wanting to give an update as well so

906
00:48:03.080 --> 00:48:11.360
we will make time for that as well thank you for saying that and yeah I just it's

907
00:48:11.360 --> 00:48:19.480
kind of part question but part update on what's been happening and so yeah I

908
00:48:19.480 --> 00:48:24.280
had all this kind of kind of fear come up last week I mean I've actually gone

909
00:48:24.280 --> 00:48:28.600
on to a couple of apps and they haven't seemed to work for me at the moment I

910
00:48:28.600 --> 00:48:34.200
can't seem to get registered properly so okay but some of the things that came up

911
00:48:34.200 --> 00:48:42.080
was one I mean I've been divorced since 1998 but there's some things had come up

912
00:48:42.080 --> 00:48:51.360
last week I think that kind of that revealing and I realized that it was

913
00:48:51.360 --> 00:48:58.920
some dead things I needed to prune and and yeah because my my ex-husband was

914
00:48:58.920 --> 00:49:02.560
and he's a Christian man but he he wasn't really nice man we were very

915
00:49:02.560 --> 00:49:09.760
mismatched to be honest and and I don't have anything in my heart against him at

916
00:49:09.760 --> 00:49:16.240
all but I realized I was still carrying some of the things that he had done and

917
00:49:16.240 --> 00:49:22.560
but I found myself grieving and I'm still doing a little bit of that and I

918
00:49:22.560 --> 00:49:26.680
feel sad and then I let go and then it's okay again and then a while later I'm

919
00:49:26.680 --> 00:49:38.160
grieving again so I don't is that quite normal definitely can happen because I

920
00:49:38.160 --> 00:49:45.280
can relate it to you know you kind of you build in your head like you know

921
00:49:45.280 --> 00:49:48.120
this is your person this is the person you spend the rest of your life with and

922
00:49:48.120 --> 00:49:53.240
so you kind of just go in this mindset and you're prepared for that and then

923
00:49:53.240 --> 00:49:57.600
when it's not doesn't work out that way there's just you are you're grieving a

924
00:49:57.600 --> 00:50:01.880
loss this loss of what you thought you're

925
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:07.080
future was going to look like. And there's this unknown. Yeah,

926
00:50:07.160 --> 00:50:09.840
but then again, like you said, like, this is when heartwork

927
00:50:09.840 --> 00:50:14.800
comes into place. You know, what am I believing? You know, their

928
00:50:14.800 --> 00:50:17.480
fear that's coming up. And again, we know that God is not

929
00:50:17.480 --> 00:50:21.160
a God of fear, like he's not putting these fearful, anxious

930
00:50:21.160 --> 00:50:25.760
thoughts in us. He's not, you know, condemning us in a harsh

931
00:50:25.760 --> 00:50:30.960
way. And so those are typically lies from the enemy when that

932
00:50:30.960 --> 00:50:37.080
fear and anxiety and all those like, you know, what's the word

933
00:50:37.080 --> 00:50:40.520
the just the things where we want to beat ourselves up and oh,

934
00:50:40.520 --> 00:50:44.680
this is you know, because I, I'm guessing it's probably come into

935
00:50:44.680 --> 00:50:48.200
your mind like, oh, this is just not going to work. You know, oh,

936
00:50:48.200 --> 00:50:51.600
they I'm not going to find them. But like, ladies, I went through

937
00:50:51.600 --> 00:50:56.720
that. This isn't like my entire time in this program. Like, I

938
00:50:56.720 --> 00:50:58.920
would go on a date and I'd be hopeful about it. And then it

939
00:50:58.920 --> 00:51:02.080
didn't work out or then another guy would come and it was just,

940
00:51:02.120 --> 00:51:07.440
you know, and then I was still connected in some way to my

941
00:51:07.440 --> 00:51:12.240
son's dad because I we have, we had to share like, he would go

942
00:51:12.240 --> 00:51:16.640
see his dad and I would watch his dad have relationship with

943
00:51:16.640 --> 00:51:20.480
the woman that he cheated on me with. And I'd be like, Oh, why

944
00:51:20.480 --> 00:51:22.760
does he get to still like, why does he get to have this

945
00:51:22.760 --> 00:51:26.840
relationship? You know, and I did a lot of forgiveness on him

946
00:51:26.840 --> 00:51:29.640
and there was still stuff that would come up. You know, I

947
00:51:29.640 --> 00:51:32.480
remember I had done the heartwork and I done a lot of

948
00:51:32.480 --> 00:51:36.280
stuff forgiveness with him and released him God, God was so

949
00:51:36.280 --> 00:51:40.880
gentle. He showed me, showed me compassion for my son's dad,

950
00:51:40.920 --> 00:51:43.680
which you know, y'all if you knew me, like when I first

951
00:51:43.680 --> 00:51:47.680
entered, like I did not want compassion for this man. But God

952
00:51:47.680 --> 00:51:53.680
really took my heart. And, and even when I walked through that,

953
00:51:53.720 --> 00:51:56.880
then there would be things that the enemy wanted to kind of use

954
00:51:57.120 --> 00:52:01.600
to get me to cling back to it. And I had to recognize it. And I

955
00:52:01.600 --> 00:52:05.200
had to be like, No, I already gave that away. God's already

956
00:52:05.200 --> 00:52:09.960
got me. What lie am I believing? And I would release that. So

957
00:52:09.960 --> 00:52:13.120
it's not uncommon. Like, I don't want you to think that, oh, this

958
00:52:13.120 --> 00:52:18.480
is, you know, it happens. And this is when heartwork is so

959
00:52:18.480 --> 00:52:23.640
powerful. Because it really can help us shift out of this

960
00:52:23.640 --> 00:52:30.280
mindset. And what the enemy wants us to do is to stay stuck

961
00:52:30.320 --> 00:52:34.760
and to stay, you know, in our heads and all that kind of

962
00:52:34.760 --> 00:52:40.160
stuff. So I would just again, encourage you to, you know,

963
00:52:41.160 --> 00:52:44.320
process through it, figure out what is it that you're

964
00:52:44.320 --> 00:52:48.600
believing? You know, grieving, you're definitely grieving, and

965
00:52:48.600 --> 00:52:56.760
that's totally fine. But let's hold on to the promises that

966
00:52:56.760 --> 00:52:57.680
God's giving you.

967
00:52:59.680 --> 00:53:03.240
Yeah, you're so right, because that's be it was coming up

968
00:53:03.240 --> 00:53:07.280
today, even with work as well, because I thought I'd made a

969
00:53:07.280 --> 00:53:09.640
mistake with something. And I immediately thought I'm going to

970
00:53:09.640 --> 00:53:13.400
be shouted at. And that was my ex husband used to do that, as

971
00:53:13.400 --> 00:53:18.320
well. Yeah. Just I mean, I had the most amazing encounter with

972
00:53:18.320 --> 00:53:22.360
Jesus last last week, when I was kind of pouring my heart, I was

973
00:53:22.360 --> 00:53:25.360
actually watching The Chosen at the time that this was kind of

974
00:53:25.360 --> 00:53:25.920
happening.

975
00:53:26.800 --> 00:53:29.120
When I just started watching that we watched started watching

976
00:53:29.120 --> 00:53:31.440
like binge watching that for Easter. I told you those

977
00:53:31.440 --> 00:53:33.960
episodes, they get you. But this one I thought was a good one.

978
00:53:33.960 --> 00:53:36.000
Like I'm like, it's okay to binge binge The Chosen.

979
00:53:36.720 --> 00:53:42.840
Yeah, totally agree. So yeah. And I had this sort of sense of

980
00:53:42.840 --> 00:53:45.360
Jesus just kind of kneeling in front of me and just like

981
00:53:45.400 --> 00:53:50.760
passion as well. And it was actually through The Chosen, the

982
00:53:50.760 --> 00:53:57.440
Lord had said to me about when King David's son was ill, and he

983
00:53:57.440 --> 00:54:01.760
kind of fasted. But as soon as his son died, he got up and got

984
00:54:01.760 --> 00:54:04.840
himself dressed and everything. And I just felt since the Lord

985
00:54:04.840 --> 00:54:08.400
was saying that to me, right is pruned, get that off, get up,

986
00:54:08.800 --> 00:54:12.320
get dressed and move on. Yeah, because you're free now. So I've

987
00:54:12.320 --> 00:54:16.040
got I'm having when I'm having these grieving moments. I'm

988
00:54:16.040 --> 00:54:19.320
actually sensing a lot of freedom as well. So it's, it's

989
00:54:19.320 --> 00:54:22.800
really good. But I couldn't quite work it out if it was

990
00:54:22.800 --> 00:54:23.600
menopause.

991
00:54:26.160 --> 00:54:27.280
No, we're all getting on.

992
00:54:29.000 --> 00:54:31.520
I'm getting that like perimenopause stuff. I mean,

993
00:54:31.560 --> 00:54:36.040
that's what I'm having to sort through. Like, I actually saw my

994
00:54:36.040 --> 00:54:40.840
doctor be like, um, I think I need another pellet. I'm like,

995
00:54:40.840 --> 00:54:43.840
I'm ready for more hormones. I'm like, I don't think this one's

996
00:54:43.840 --> 00:54:46.160
gonna last the full three months. I think we need to up

997
00:54:46.160 --> 00:54:50.880
my dose. Because I'm like, I'm not feeling like it's all of

998
00:54:50.880 --> 00:54:55.360
that. But I feel you on that one. Yeah, no, but something

999
00:54:55.360 --> 00:54:59.960
else that kind of is coming up. You brought up this, you know,

1000
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.860
coming up at work, where you felt like you did something

1001
00:55:02.860 --> 00:55:05.600
wrong, and you felt like you're going to get yelled at. And then

1002
00:55:05.600 --> 00:55:09.680
you again reminded that your your former husband had done

1003
00:55:09.680 --> 00:55:13.480
that. And so I would be interested, is there any other

1004
00:55:13.480 --> 00:55:16.480
times besides maybe in your marriage? Was there something in

1005
00:55:16.480 --> 00:55:22.080
your past, like maybe childhood, where you felt that same way

1006
00:55:22.120 --> 00:55:25.280
that if you did something wrong, you were going to be yelled at

1007
00:55:25.760 --> 00:55:26.920
and reprimanded?

1008
00:55:27.720 --> 00:55:31.280
Yeah, definitely. Yeah. So I would again, I would I would

1009
00:55:31.280 --> 00:55:34.000
wonder if maybe there's some revealing and healing that can

1010
00:55:34.000 --> 00:55:39.880
happen and take place there. Yeah. Ladies, when these when

1011
00:55:39.880 --> 00:55:45.200
these things come up, like I don't want us to ever feel like

1012
00:55:45.200 --> 00:55:49.160
we're going to a place where we have to like ignore it. But if

1013
00:55:49.160 --> 00:55:53.720
anything, that we can just bring it to surface. Like, don't

1014
00:55:53.720 --> 00:55:58.160
neglect or don't, maybe neglect is not the right word. Don't

1015
00:55:58.560 --> 00:56:05.640
push off certain emotions or feelings that come up in this

1016
00:56:05.640 --> 00:56:09.600
whole process. It's not just going to happen in just your

1017
00:56:09.600 --> 00:56:13.120
dating, but it's just the journey of what artwork really

1018
00:56:13.120 --> 00:56:18.120
can unlock. And so when certain things start surfacing and

1019
00:56:18.120 --> 00:56:22.160
thoughts and beliefs, and we're sitting that be open and willing

1020
00:56:22.160 --> 00:56:27.280
to kind of walk yourself through that. You know, God

1021
00:56:27.280 --> 00:56:31.320
wants you married, but he also wants you healed more than he

1022
00:56:31.320 --> 00:56:33.360
wants you married, like he really wants you married, he

1023
00:56:33.360 --> 00:56:36.840
wants you married more than you want to be married. But he wants

1024
00:56:36.840 --> 00:56:42.160
you healed. And so, and that will take place in your marriage

1025
00:56:42.160 --> 00:56:46.800
to y'all. Like, we don't just go through heartwork once or go

1026
00:56:46.800 --> 00:56:48.960
through this dating phase. And then all of a sudden, oh, look,

1027
00:56:48.960 --> 00:56:52.960
we're good. And you know, artwork doesn't exist. You know,

1028
00:56:52.960 --> 00:56:56.280
it's an it's an onion. It's a layer. Okay, I can't tell you

1029
00:56:56.280 --> 00:56:59.200
like I've been now I'm like I said, it's been a year and a

1030
00:56:59.200 --> 00:57:03.200
half that we've been married. We've been together over two

1031
00:57:03.200 --> 00:57:09.880
years now. And y'all like I'm still having to go through some

1032
00:57:09.880 --> 00:57:13.560
healing and some things that come to surface in my marriage.

1033
00:57:14.480 --> 00:57:20.440
You know, we're blending a family. That's tough. And all

1034
00:57:20.440 --> 00:57:24.440
three of my kids have some sort of trauma that, you know, make

1035
00:57:24.440 --> 00:57:29.160
it even more of a challenge. But I know that God wants to use our

1036
00:57:29.160 --> 00:57:32.520
family and he wants to heal our family, not just me, not just my

1037
00:57:32.520 --> 00:57:35.320
husband, he wants to heal my kids, which is just going to

1038
00:57:35.320 --> 00:57:38.960
leave legacy for my grandkids, my great grandkids and things of

1039
00:57:38.960 --> 00:57:42.640
that nature and just be a testimony for other families

1040
00:57:42.720 --> 00:57:46.800
that maybe have experienced some trauma and some hard things.

1041
00:57:46.840 --> 00:57:52.480
But that's kind of the beauty of what artwork it really does get

1042
00:57:52.480 --> 00:57:56.160
back. It's honestly one of the reasons why I feel so blessed

1043
00:57:56.160 --> 00:58:00.080
and humbled to be able to be part of this program still, and

1044
00:58:00.080 --> 00:58:04.240
being able to, you know, spend time with y'all every week and,

1045
00:58:04.600 --> 00:58:08.320
and help you through and, you know, be your cheerleaders and

1046
00:58:08.320 --> 00:58:12.440
hopefully give you hope and encouragement. It's just a

1047
00:58:12.440 --> 00:58:16.160
blessing. So all right, Mary, I want you to go process some of

1048
00:58:16.160 --> 00:58:18.320
that stuff. And

1049
00:58:18.800 --> 00:58:21.000
that's great. Really helpful. Thank you.

1050
00:58:21.080 --> 00:58:23.640
You are welcome. All right, Stephanie, I don't know. I saw

1051
00:58:23.640 --> 00:58:26.800
you're off camera. I'm not sure. Did you want to give an update

1052
00:58:26.800 --> 00:58:29.560
real quick? I know I've got Jenna, I think I said Jenna and

1053
00:58:29.560 --> 00:58:33.960
then Lolita has put her hand up. Now we got about 15 minutes. So

1054
00:58:34.480 --> 00:58:40.600
sure, sure. So just with everything that has been

1055
00:58:40.600 --> 00:58:44.720
revealed has been, I'm still, I'm still investigating it. I

1056
00:58:44.720 --> 00:58:55.440
think what I felt is that I, I kind of get into my head like

1057
00:58:55.440 --> 00:58:58.240
what you were just saying to Mary really helped because I do

1058
00:58:58.240 --> 00:59:00.920
kind of get in my head and I feel like Laura saying, you know,

1059
00:59:00.920 --> 00:59:07.200
you don't have to go through. You know, like, you can, but you

1060
00:59:07.200 --> 00:59:13.440
don't have to bear this. And so I think, for me, it's just a lot

1061
00:59:13.440 --> 00:59:21.560
of letting things go. And yeah, just, yeah, I just, I, I've

1062
00:59:21.560 --> 00:59:23.920
come up to some like other triggers a little bit, and I'm

1063
00:59:23.920 --> 00:59:31.480
paying attention to those. Just my, I saw my dad sitting and my

1064
00:59:31.480 --> 00:59:35.760
sister was telling him about something with her church or

1065
00:59:35.760 --> 00:59:38.680
something. And he was sitting and he was looking at her and he

1066
00:59:38.680 --> 00:59:44.560
wasn't doing anything else. And I got angry. Like, I felt so

1067
00:59:44.560 --> 00:59:51.280
angry. Yeah. Because I was like, he never does that. Yeah. You

1068
00:59:51.280 --> 00:59:54.720
know, so you just want him to hear you. You want him to

1069
00:59:54.720 --> 00:59:59.840
listen to you? Yeah. So I

1070
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:08.000
think that's obviously something that I need to look more into as well. Um, but whoa, that's

1071
01:00:08.000 --> 01:00:14.640
a strange reaction, but you know, I couldn't, I couldn't remember a time when he hasn't

1072
01:00:14.640 --> 01:00:22.240
been distracted, you know, so with me. Yeah. So that was part of like, sort of jealous

1073
01:00:22.240 --> 01:00:29.120
of my sister, I suppose too. Yeah. And these are, and that's what I'm saying. I think it's

1074
01:00:29.120 --> 01:00:33.760
really good that you're processing through and you're taking these things and heartwork is going

1075
01:00:33.760 --> 01:00:39.360
to continue to help you heal. Um, I remember experiencing that when I was in heartwork as

1076
01:00:39.360 --> 01:00:48.640
well. I had a lot of anger that came up towards my, my parents. You know, I had some stuff that

1077
01:00:48.640 --> 01:00:53.280
I was dealing with my dad, but even my mom, like stuff that I really never felt like I was going

1078
01:00:53.280 --> 01:00:58.640
to deal with. And there was a lot of anger that I even had towards my mom and I had to work through

1079
01:00:58.640 --> 01:01:06.640
and forgive. And, and, and God was so gentle and revealing to me more of the truth and showing me

1080
01:01:08.240 --> 01:01:14.560
why maybe they act and behave the way that they did. And it was not a reflection of me.

1081
01:01:16.560 --> 01:01:22.800
And so I, like, again, I think it's probably really, really, um, you're going to get a lot

1082
01:01:22.800 --> 01:01:26.960
of healing through this process. And so I just want you to be gentle with yourself.

1083
01:01:27.920 --> 01:01:30.800
Right. I want you to spend time, go do things that you enjoy.

1084
01:01:32.480 --> 01:01:37.840
All right. Cause this stuff can ladies, they can stir up a lot of stuff. And I know like,

1085
01:01:37.840 --> 01:01:43.360
sometimes we're just in those healing stages, really important that even in those healing

1086
01:01:43.360 --> 01:01:48.480
stages, we go take care of ourselves. We do things fun for ourselves that we,

1087
01:01:48.480 --> 01:01:55.440
you know, we go and still live life and enjoy life. And so I want you to make sure that you're

1088
01:01:55.440 --> 01:02:00.800
balancing a little bit of the two, but I think this is all good stuff. Um, I think you're going

1089
01:02:00.800 --> 01:02:05.680
to have some tremendous breakthroughs. I think you already are having tremendous breakthrough

1090
01:02:06.960 --> 01:02:12.160
process and ladies, and this is, you know, I'm, I'm saying a lot of this to those ladies that

1091
01:02:12.160 --> 01:02:18.480
are new. Stephanie has been, you know, just super intentional with her time here in phase two,

1092
01:02:18.480 --> 01:02:24.400
she shows up, she, you know, expresses what's happening on dates, what's happening in her life.

1093
01:02:24.400 --> 01:02:31.040
She's, she's really putting the effort in and, and being super intentional and prioritizing,

1094
01:02:31.600 --> 01:02:38.320
um, this phase. And, and I really, and I say this because I've obviously been coaching for

1095
01:02:38.320 --> 01:02:42.400
over a year now, but I've been in this program since pretty much the beginning.

1096
01:02:43.600 --> 01:02:49.760
And the ones that we see that get the most breakthrough are typically the ones that are

1097
01:02:49.840 --> 01:02:56.160
showing up consistently and intentionally. And so, you know, you all just even showing up here

1098
01:02:56.800 --> 01:03:03.360
today on the live call or watching and replay and posting in the app, communicating with us here,

1099
01:03:03.360 --> 01:03:10.720
what what's happening, making connections, you know, breakthrough is, is, is going to be

1100
01:03:10.720 --> 01:03:16.720
accelerated. There's a supernatural exhilaration in this program when we show up, like I've seen

1101
01:03:16.720 --> 01:03:23.600
it happen. I've seen God work some really amazing things. Okay. So thank you. Always

1102
01:03:23.600 --> 01:03:29.440
just being vulnerable and sharing your heart. Like, yeah, thank you for making it a safe space

1103
01:03:29.440 --> 01:03:35.920
to do that. I feel totally comfortable sharing all of this with, you know, 16 strangers. So

1104
01:03:37.840 --> 01:03:41.600
and yes, ladies, I hold that sacred.

1105
01:03:41.920 --> 01:03:49.280
I did have a quick question. I am still sort of semi-talking to a couple of men,

1106
01:03:49.280 --> 01:03:54.160
sort of the one that I had, we had a phone conversation and I really thought it went well.

1107
01:03:54.160 --> 01:03:57.760
I liked, I liked what I heard from him. There were a couple of things that I was like, I don't know,

1108
01:03:57.760 --> 01:04:03.520
but I felt like I wanted to talk with him again. And he said he would check in the next day. He

1109
01:04:03.520 --> 01:04:09.600
did not check in the next day. Finally checked in on Thursday or something or Friday. He said,

1110
01:04:09.600 --> 01:04:13.840
Hey, I'm so sorry. I've been slammed with work. And then, you know, we have a revival

1111
01:04:13.840 --> 01:04:19.680
of my church this weekend. Can I check in with you maybe next week or something? So I was like,

1112
01:04:19.680 --> 01:04:28.400
so part of me was like, I don't, I don't like that pattern of behavior. Like he said he was

1113
01:04:28.400 --> 01:04:34.240
going to do something and he didn't do it, you know? And I get that you're busy, but like,

1114
01:04:34.320 --> 01:04:40.320
but like, I don't, it doesn't take that long to send a two line text either way. I was like,

1115
01:04:41.200 --> 01:04:46.240
you know what, I'm just going to watch for that. And so I said, okay, no worries. You know maybe

1116
01:04:46.240 --> 01:04:52.000
let's reconnect this next week. So anyway, it's Tuesday. I have not heard from him. And so I don't

1117
01:04:52.000 --> 01:04:58.240
know whether to like drop it. We haven't had a face-to-face actually. We haven't actually talked

1118
01:04:58.240 --> 01:05:00.000
face-to-face. So.

1119
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.560
I don't know if I should, like, if I could check in with it,

1120
01:05:04.560 --> 01:05:06.960
like I tend to be pretty proactive, actually.

1121
01:05:06.960 --> 01:05:10.920
So for me, I actually have to kind of hold myself off.

1122
01:05:10.920 --> 01:05:12.440
That's my stretching point.

1123
01:05:12.440 --> 01:05:14.640
Like some girls, I like, it's hard for them

1124
01:05:14.640 --> 01:05:16.760
to take things for, I'll do it.

1125
01:05:16.760 --> 01:05:19.120
Like my problem is doing all of the things

1126
01:05:19.120 --> 01:05:21.440
in the relationship, you know, like my last relationship,

1127
01:05:21.440 --> 01:05:23.960
I was like functionally the man, you know?

1128
01:05:23.960 --> 01:05:27.480
So I don't know, but I don't want to default

1129
01:05:27.480 --> 01:05:29.920
to previous patterns and make things happen.

1130
01:05:30.760 --> 01:05:31.600
But at the same time-

1131
01:05:31.600 --> 01:05:33.160
No, I think that's good that you're recognizing that.

1132
01:05:33.160 --> 01:05:34.000
Yeah.

1133
01:05:34.000 --> 01:05:36.800
Yeah, so I don't know if it's okay for me to be,

1134
01:05:36.800 --> 01:05:40.040
to say, hey, listen, just, I don't know

1135
01:05:40.040 --> 01:05:41.760
if you're interested in talking again,

1136
01:05:41.760 --> 01:05:44.160
just wanted to clarify, or, you know.

1137
01:05:44.160 --> 01:05:46.000
I would just wait, I would wait for it.

1138
01:05:46.000 --> 01:05:47.800
Just wait for him to kind of make the move.

1139
01:05:47.800 --> 01:05:49.280
Like you said, you guys have not made,

1140
01:05:49.280 --> 01:05:51.200
you haven't had a face-to-face.

1141
01:05:51.200 --> 01:05:52.040
No.

1142
01:05:52.040 --> 01:05:55.200
Ladies, this is that early level two stage, okay?

1143
01:05:55.200 --> 01:05:57.480
There's really like no strings here.

1144
01:05:57.480 --> 01:05:59.840
You are just getting to know somebody.

1145
01:06:00.640 --> 01:06:01.600
You're getting to know what you like about them,

1146
01:06:01.600 --> 01:06:02.560
what you don't like.

1147
01:06:02.560 --> 01:06:04.640
You're getting to learn more about yourself.

1148
01:06:04.640 --> 01:06:06.920
So I think it's, you know, good, Stephanie,

1149
01:06:06.920 --> 01:06:09.160
that you're recognizing, like you like someone

1150
01:06:09.160 --> 01:06:10.520
that's going to be intentional

1151
01:06:10.520 --> 01:06:12.920
with what they say they're going to do.

1152
01:06:12.920 --> 01:06:14.800
Now, what I will say is that sometimes

1153
01:06:14.800 --> 01:06:17.560
we can't hold people at hard.

1154
01:06:17.560 --> 01:06:19.320
Like you have to do what you say you're going to do.

1155
01:06:19.320 --> 01:06:20.160
There's grace.

1156
01:06:20.160 --> 01:06:21.000
There's grace for things.

1157
01:06:21.000 --> 01:06:22.560
So it might just be an anomaly.

1158
01:06:22.560 --> 01:06:23.400
So I'm like, okay.

1159
01:06:23.400 --> 01:06:25.160
But I think it's good that you're recognizing

1160
01:06:25.160 --> 01:06:27.560
this is not what you enjoy.

1161
01:06:27.560 --> 01:06:29.280
And so as you get to know him,

1162
01:06:29.280 --> 01:06:31.680
like you said, you're going to keep an eye out on it.

1163
01:06:31.680 --> 01:06:34.440
And as, if you continue to get to know him,

1164
01:06:34.440 --> 01:06:36.440
if you guys decide to have a couple, you know,

1165
01:06:36.440 --> 01:06:39.040
face-to-face interactions, couple dates,

1166
01:06:39.040 --> 01:06:43.040
I would say, you know, around that three, four, five

1167
01:06:43.040 --> 01:06:46.520
date mark, if you're still noticing that he's doing that,

1168
01:06:46.520 --> 01:06:50.120
then this is when you all can softly bring up

1169
01:06:50.120 --> 01:06:53.120
and have communication and be like, hey, you know,

1170
01:06:53.120 --> 01:06:55.000
I'm not sure that if you recognize this,

1171
01:06:55.000 --> 01:06:57.000
but you know, one thing I've noticed is

1172
01:06:57.560 --> 01:07:00.560
I really struggle when someone's going to say

1173
01:07:00.560 --> 01:07:02.080
that they're going to do something and they don't.

1174
01:07:02.080 --> 01:07:04.360
I don't think that you're doing it intentionally,

1175
01:07:04.360 --> 01:07:05.800
but is there something that we can do

1176
01:07:05.800 --> 01:07:07.200
maybe where we can work on this?

1177
01:07:07.200 --> 01:07:11.160
Like maybe not give me like an exact day and time,

1178
01:07:11.160 --> 01:07:14.320
but just, you know, being able to be open.

1179
01:07:14.320 --> 01:07:16.240
I wouldn't say put it all in those words.

1180
01:07:16.240 --> 01:07:17.080
Okay.

1181
01:07:17.080 --> 01:07:20.280
I would just say, give it a few dates.

1182
01:07:20.280 --> 01:07:22.400
And like you said, keep an eye on it.

1183
01:07:22.400 --> 01:07:25.160
You recognize that you don't like that.

1184
01:07:25.160 --> 01:07:26.000
You don't like that.

1185
01:07:26.000 --> 01:07:27.600
Someone's not checking in and saying,

1186
01:07:27.600 --> 01:07:30.320
hey, I'm sorry, I can't do this.

1187
01:07:30.320 --> 01:07:31.160
You know-

1188
01:07:31.160 --> 01:07:32.000
Or just be a man of your word.

1189
01:07:32.000 --> 01:07:33.120
You know, you say you're going to do it,

1190
01:07:33.120 --> 01:07:34.600
have integrity and do it.

1191
01:07:34.600 --> 01:07:35.440
Yeah.

1192
01:07:35.440 --> 01:07:38.680
You like someone who's going to honor their work.

1193
01:07:38.680 --> 01:07:40.640
That's a value that you have.

1194
01:07:40.640 --> 01:07:42.160
And it's a good value.

1195
01:07:42.160 --> 01:07:43.680
But like I was, we were saying,

1196
01:07:43.680 --> 01:07:46.720
like there's still areas of grace,

1197
01:07:46.720 --> 01:07:49.920
but again, we don't want to come in hard with,

1198
01:07:49.920 --> 01:07:52.360
you don't do this, da, da, da, da, you know,

1199
01:07:52.760 --> 01:07:55.120
really on in these level two stages, ladies.

1200
01:07:55.120 --> 01:07:55.960
Like there's really-

1201
01:07:55.960 --> 01:07:58.400
Yeah, there's not enough investment

1202
01:07:58.400 --> 01:08:01.120
for that kind of expectation, you know, to be real.

1203
01:08:01.120 --> 01:08:03.760
But I like that you're recognizing what you like

1204
01:08:03.760 --> 01:08:07.040
and what you don't and being willing to put,

1205
01:08:07.040 --> 01:08:08.360
willing to put a boundary there

1206
01:08:08.360 --> 01:08:11.080
and being willing to be open to communicate

1207
01:08:11.080 --> 01:08:14.160
what your needs are and what you desire.

1208
01:08:15.360 --> 01:08:16.920
What if he doesn't contact me again?

1209
01:08:16.920 --> 01:08:17.760
Then I just drop it?

1210
01:08:17.760 --> 01:08:18.600
Then you know what?

1211
01:08:18.600 --> 01:08:20.720
You're God defended and you're God protected.

1212
01:08:20.720 --> 01:08:21.560
Okay.

1213
01:08:21.560 --> 01:08:22.399
That's a true story.

1214
01:08:22.399 --> 01:08:23.240
Okay.

1215
01:08:23.240 --> 01:08:25.720
There's another guy that I'm talking to in Finland.

1216
01:08:26.600 --> 01:08:27.439
Cool.

1217
01:08:27.439 --> 01:08:29.560
I am going to be visiting Europe.

1218
01:08:29.560 --> 01:08:31.960
So he might come and see me when I'm in Sweden.

1219
01:08:31.960 --> 01:08:32.800
I don't know.

1220
01:08:34.439 --> 01:08:36.680
I enjoy some things about him.

1221
01:08:36.680 --> 01:08:39.760
He's not really the energy,

1222
01:08:39.760 --> 01:08:42.920
like just with his, how do you say,

1223
01:08:42.920 --> 01:08:45.800
people that are really expressive, charismatic

1224
01:08:45.800 --> 01:08:47.840
versus the more like reserved.

1225
01:08:47.840 --> 01:08:49.200
He's a little, like temperamentally,

1226
01:08:49.200 --> 01:08:50.560
he's like more reserved,

1227
01:08:50.560 --> 01:08:52.840
but I like, he like asks questions.

1228
01:08:53.760 --> 01:08:57.359
He's like, I think we're very like aligned

1229
01:08:57.359 --> 01:08:59.479
spiritually speaking and all of that.

1230
01:08:59.479 --> 01:09:00.479
I think there are some wounds

1231
01:09:00.479 --> 01:09:01.680
from his previous relationship.

1232
01:09:01.680 --> 01:09:04.640
He still is in pain from that, I think,

1233
01:09:04.640 --> 01:09:06.399
just from some things that he said.

1234
01:09:07.560 --> 01:09:09.120
And I don't know that he's dealt with those things.

1235
01:09:09.120 --> 01:09:11.040
So I don't-

1236
01:09:11.040 --> 01:09:12.840
Let's just kind of hold that stuff loosely.

1237
01:09:12.840 --> 01:09:15.840
You know, we don't want to sit here and project

1238
01:09:15.840 --> 01:09:17.880
and say, oh, this is, let's just, again,

1239
01:09:17.880 --> 01:09:20.000
let's just enjoy the process.

1240
01:09:20.560 --> 01:09:22.359
Take time to get to know him.

1241
01:09:22.359 --> 01:09:26.359
Remember, like, this is discovery dating.

1242
01:09:26.359 --> 01:09:28.160
You've done it beautifully.

1243
01:09:29.080 --> 01:09:31.279
And my first thought was if he's from Finland,

1244
01:09:31.279 --> 01:09:33.439
there might be some culture things.

1245
01:09:33.439 --> 01:09:34.279
Yeah.

1246
01:09:34.279 --> 01:09:35.960
Like I dated guys in my early 20s

1247
01:09:35.960 --> 01:09:38.240
that were from Europe, that they were just European.

1248
01:09:38.240 --> 01:09:40.080
I think there was a guy that was like German and all,

1249
01:09:40.080 --> 01:09:41.439
you know, and there was,

1250
01:09:41.439 --> 01:09:43.359
there was just something culturally different

1251
01:09:43.359 --> 01:09:45.240
in how they dated and how they showed up

1252
01:09:45.240 --> 01:09:47.319
in dating relationships that was different

1253
01:09:47.319 --> 01:09:49.359
than what American men did.

1254
01:09:49.359 --> 01:09:51.399
So just keep that, you know, hold it loosely,

1255
01:09:51.399 --> 01:09:54.560
have fun with it, you know, get to know new people.

1256
01:09:54.560 --> 01:09:56.520
He asked if I could be his prayer partner

1257
01:09:56.520 --> 01:09:58.400
and we would pray like for this evangelism thing

1258
01:09:58.400 --> 01:09:59.440
he's doing for two weeks.

1259
01:09:59.440 --> 01:10:00.280
And like, we could-

1260
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:06.960
pray together for 15 minutes twice, two different times. And I told them no. Because I just said,

1261
01:10:06.960 --> 01:10:11.280
Hey, listen, I just don't want to, you know, like I said, I will be honored to pray for you. But

1262
01:10:11.280 --> 01:10:16.000
as far as us praying together, I don't think that's the time for that right now. I just don't

1263
01:10:16.000 --> 01:10:21.680
think that's what I said. I don't want to manufacture spiritual intimacy quite yet. I want

1264
01:10:21.680 --> 01:10:26.720
to, I want to have some more conversations with you because we've only talked twice, you know.

1265
01:10:27.200 --> 01:10:34.080
Um, and so he was like, Oh, okay. I understand. Awesome. See, you're doing, you're doing awesome.

1266
01:10:34.080 --> 01:10:38.000
I want, like, I think this is a great process for you to start trusting yourself more, which we

1267
01:10:38.000 --> 01:10:43.040
talked about the last couple of weeks. So just keep doing what you're doing and keep showing up.

1268
01:10:43.040 --> 01:10:48.080
You're doing awesome. Thank you. So appreciate you. Thanks. All right. I want to hear Jenna's

1269
01:10:48.080 --> 01:10:52.560
update and then Lolita we'll, we'll save time for you as well. We're, we're coming up on,

1270
01:10:52.560 --> 01:10:56.000
we got like three minutes left, but I'm going to stretch it just a little bit.

1271
01:10:56.000 --> 01:11:00.960
I just don't want to get in too much trouble over. So short break, powerful ladies,

1272
01:11:00.960 --> 01:11:07.040
Jenna, what's your update? I'm going to be quick. I'm going to be quick. Yeah. So two things.

1273
01:11:08.000 --> 01:11:14.560
So since I told the coach, I was interested in him. He's called me twice and we of course saw

1274
01:11:14.560 --> 01:11:19.520
each other at basketball. So that was really cool. I kind of get the impression he's waiting

1275
01:11:19.520 --> 01:11:27.200
until coaching season is over, which I'm totally respectful of. So that's a good update. I was

1276
01:11:27.200 --> 01:11:34.560
very happy to get those phone calls. And then this weekend I, I have been prompted by God to call my

1277
01:11:34.560 --> 01:11:39.680
aunt. She's a single mom who met my uncle and he kind of wrapped her up in love, brought her in

1278
01:11:39.680 --> 01:11:46.000
our family and, you know, took her kids on as his own. I haven't called her, but I saw her this

1279
01:11:46.000 --> 01:11:50.560
weekend and I was like, I'm going to tell her that I'm dating. So I said to her, I have been

1280
01:11:50.560 --> 01:11:56.240
wanting to tell you that I'm dating. I want you to pray for me with me, all the things. So my other

1281
01:11:56.240 --> 01:12:03.840
aunt came over and they just prayed over me. But my aunt that was a single mom was talking about

1282
01:12:03.840 --> 01:12:11.120
how we as single mom are, can be so closed and not open. And that her brother was like, just let my

1283
01:12:11.120 --> 01:12:16.000
uncle's name is James. She's like, just let James love you. And that's exactly what I've been

1284
01:12:16.000 --> 01:12:21.680
experiencing. Like I'm trying to be open. I'm praying for openness, but it's very like scary.

1285
01:12:22.240 --> 01:12:26.720
So that was really sweet. Cause they just like gathered around me and prayed over me. And then

1286
01:12:26.720 --> 01:12:32.080
my mom was out of town, but I was able to share with her this weekend that we had that experience.

1287
01:12:32.080 --> 01:12:39.200
And so anyway, so lots of people are praying for me and my spouse. And I feel like I'm past the

1288
01:12:39.200 --> 01:12:44.720
lonely phase and more in the healed phase of being ready to like accept somebody into my family.

1289
01:12:44.720 --> 01:12:51.360
So that's a tiny update. I love it. Thank you so much, Jenna and just ladies. And any of you that

1290
01:12:51.360 --> 01:12:56.560
are on right now or watching in replay, if any of you are single mamas, I was a single mom,

1291
01:12:56.560 --> 01:13:03.520
know that I am always praying for you single mamas out there. I know what it's like. And just,

1292
01:13:04.240 --> 01:13:14.960
I want to give y'all encouragement that God has a husband for you that is going to love your kids,

1293
01:13:14.960 --> 01:13:23.920
like his own. Like, I can't tell you how blessed I am by my husband. Cause he really shows up as

1294
01:13:23.920 --> 01:13:31.440
an amazing dad to my son. Yeah. And so it can happen. And I want, I just want it to be an

1295
01:13:31.440 --> 01:13:37.680
encouragement for all you ladies. So just know like for all the single mamas out there, like,

1296
01:13:37.680 --> 01:13:43.040
I got you. All right. I got you with my prayers as well. I'm so, I love that you just felt,

1297
01:13:43.600 --> 01:13:49.040
you know, pulled to, to reach out to your aunt and that they prayed over you. That's incredible.

1298
01:13:49.040 --> 01:13:56.080
And yes, like you are dating healed. Right. And, and yeah, it's good. It's going to be good.

1299
01:13:56.800 --> 01:14:01.760
So good. Oh, I do. One other guy I was supposed to have a date with a couple of weeks ago. I met

1300
01:14:01.760 --> 01:14:06.800
on online dating. I got the date wrong. And so I didn't think anything would come of it, but he

1301
01:14:06.800 --> 01:14:11.680
reached back out this week and was like, I'm glad you're still open to going. Sorry, we messed it

1302
01:14:11.680 --> 01:14:16.800
up. So we're supposed to go out on Saturday night. So yeah. I love that. See, like, look at that

1303
01:14:16.800 --> 01:14:22.560
ladies. So even sometimes when guys may be like, we think that we're flaking, it literally happens

1304
01:14:22.560 --> 01:14:27.920
to all of us. Yeah. Like it happens to me. Like I remember I was just telling my husband this,

1305
01:14:27.920 --> 01:14:33.600
like a couple, it was like a year or so ago when we just moved here, my son was invited

1306
01:14:33.600 --> 01:14:38.960
to a birthday party with one of the teammates on his baseball team. And I was like, yeah,

1307
01:14:38.960 --> 01:14:45.280
he totally loved to go. Y'all. I forgot completely about it. I felt horrible. And I didn't realize

1308
01:14:45.280 --> 01:14:50.880
that until weeks later. And I'm like, Oh my goodness. Like, so it happens. All right. Just

1309
01:14:50.880 --> 01:14:54.720
remember to extend grace to people because you're going to want grace extended to you when you,

1310
01:14:54.720 --> 01:14:56.720
when you make mistakes as well. Cause we all do.

1311
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:01.160
How are you?

1312
01:15:04.180 --> 01:15:05.020
Yeah, you good?

1313
01:15:05.020 --> 01:15:05.860
How you doing, girl?

1314
01:15:05.860 --> 01:15:06.680
Okay, come off of me.

1315
01:15:06.680 --> 01:15:07.520
Hi.

1316
01:15:08.840 --> 01:15:11.780
I have a few things going on.

1317
01:15:11.780 --> 01:15:16.780
So I'm actually finished phase two, but no dates.

1318
01:15:17.220 --> 01:15:18.800
Okay.

1319
01:15:18.800 --> 01:15:23.800
I was online dating and I been chatting a lot.

1320
01:15:23.800 --> 01:15:28.800
A few guys wanted to give me their numbers,

1321
01:15:30.200 --> 01:15:35.200
but I don't know if I want to actually talk to anyone.

1322
01:15:37.420 --> 01:15:41.960
I will chat with them and I will do a video call,

1323
01:15:41.960 --> 01:15:43.660
but to actually talk.

1324
01:15:46.200 --> 01:15:48.820
You don't want to be like calling each other up on the phone

1325
01:15:48.820 --> 01:15:50.120
and having conversation on the phone.

1326
01:15:50.120 --> 01:15:51.920
You just rather do like a video, like,

1327
01:15:51.920 --> 01:15:56.200
hey, see who you are, get to know you a little bit better.

1328
01:15:56.200 --> 01:15:57.880
Yeah.

1329
01:15:57.880 --> 01:16:00.340
When they're offering their number,

1330
01:16:00.340 --> 01:16:03.520
are you saying, I'm not ready for that yet,

1331
01:16:03.520 --> 01:16:05.360
but how about we jump on a video call?

1332
01:16:05.360 --> 01:16:06.200
Are you?

1333
01:16:06.200 --> 01:16:07.020
Yeah.

1334
01:16:07.020 --> 01:16:07.860
Yeah, I do that.

1335
01:16:07.860 --> 01:16:08.860
I definitely do that.

1336
01:16:10.600 --> 01:16:11.440
And.

1337
01:16:11.440 --> 01:16:13.020
And what's the response?

1338
01:16:14.780 --> 01:16:18.120
They say, yeah, but I don't know if they know

1339
01:16:18.120 --> 01:16:19.960
how to initiate the Zoom.

1340
01:16:19.960 --> 01:16:23.640
I'll ask them, do you have a Zoom or something like that?

1341
01:16:23.640 --> 01:16:26.520
And then it kind of just get pushed off.

1342
01:16:26.520 --> 01:16:30.040
And then it's so many men that keep coming back.

1343
01:16:30.040 --> 01:16:32.680
I kind of get lost in a shuffle

1344
01:16:32.680 --> 01:16:35.720
because it's like oodles and oodles of men

1345
01:16:35.720 --> 01:16:37.520
that just keep coming.

1346
01:16:37.520 --> 01:16:41.120
And then, because I'm more like three abs,

1347
01:16:43.080 --> 01:16:48.080
Christian, qubit, upward.

1348
01:16:48.960 --> 01:16:52.080
And then another one, I forgot what it is.

1349
01:16:52.080 --> 01:16:55.560
But anyway, and so it's kind of hard keeping up

1350
01:16:55.560 --> 01:16:57.240
with all of them and trying to chat.

1351
01:16:57.240 --> 01:17:00.200
And a few of them are kind of close.

1352
01:17:00.200 --> 01:17:02.800
So I've been chatting here and there with them,

1353
01:17:02.800 --> 01:17:05.880
but I'm trying to at least see their face

1354
01:17:05.880 --> 01:17:10.320
before I try to move anywhere further with that.

1355
01:17:10.320 --> 01:17:11.140
But.

1356
01:17:11.140 --> 01:17:11.980
Let's try this.

1357
01:17:11.980 --> 01:17:12.880
So when you're offering,

1358
01:17:12.880 --> 01:17:14.600
they're wanting to give you your number and you're like,

1359
01:17:14.600 --> 01:17:16.720
hey, I'm not comfortable giving out my number yet,

1360
01:17:16.720 --> 01:17:20.360
but would you be open to doing a Zoom video chat?

1361
01:17:20.360 --> 01:17:21.960
And if they're like, yeah, sure.

1362
01:17:21.960 --> 01:17:23.920
I want to encourage you.

1363
01:17:23.920 --> 01:17:25.680
This is when, again, ladies, like, yes,

1364
01:17:25.680 --> 01:17:27.480
we want the men to kind of initiate things,

1365
01:17:27.480 --> 01:17:32.320
but it's okay for you to kind of in the first date-ish,

1366
01:17:32.320 --> 01:17:33.880
like, I mean, it's kind of like a day we count

1367
01:17:33.880 --> 01:17:35.840
video calls as dates.

1368
01:17:35.840 --> 01:17:38.520
I want you to feel bold to be able to say,

1369
01:17:38.520 --> 01:17:41.760
well, what day works for you?

1370
01:17:41.760 --> 01:17:43.040
Would this day or this day work?

1371
01:17:43.040 --> 01:17:44.240
Give men an option.

1372
01:17:44.240 --> 01:17:45.800
Like give men like two options.

1373
01:17:45.800 --> 01:17:47.200
Give them two choices.

1374
01:17:47.200 --> 01:17:49.640
Do you have Friday or Saturday available?

1375
01:17:49.640 --> 01:17:50.640
Oh, Saturday.

1376
01:17:50.640 --> 01:17:51.480
Okay, great.

1377
01:17:51.480 --> 01:17:52.640
What time works for you?

1378
01:17:53.520 --> 01:17:55.480
Let them give you a time.

1379
01:17:55.480 --> 01:17:58.320
And then you can go into your Zoom app.

1380
01:17:58.320 --> 01:18:02.360
You can set up a meeting, copy and paste that link.

1381
01:18:02.360 --> 01:18:06.280
You should be able to paste it in your app chats.

1382
01:18:06.280 --> 01:18:07.240
Yeah.

1383
01:18:07.240 --> 01:18:08.680
And say, okay, great.

1384
01:18:08.680 --> 01:18:10.280
I'm going to put this on the calendar.

1385
01:18:10.280 --> 01:18:11.880
Here's the link for the Zoom call.

1386
01:18:11.880 --> 01:18:15.640
Here's the meeting ID number, and here's the password.

1387
01:18:16.600 --> 01:18:20.200
I can't wait to see you on Saturday on Zoom.

1388
01:18:21.680 --> 01:18:24.240
I want you to be bold and just throw it out there.

1389
01:18:24.240 --> 01:18:27.480
Sometimes men need a little extra push.

1390
01:18:27.480 --> 01:18:28.320
Okay.

1391
01:18:28.320 --> 01:18:30.520
And I will say, video, like,

1392
01:18:30.520 --> 01:18:33.520
it's funny because my husband hears me coach,

1393
01:18:33.520 --> 01:18:35.200
coaching and stuff like that.

1394
01:18:35.200 --> 01:18:37.240
And it was very new to him.

1395
01:18:38.200 --> 01:18:41.560
How he's like, why do y'all like push the video chats?

1396
01:18:41.560 --> 01:18:43.240
He's like, that's weird.

1397
01:18:43.240 --> 01:18:45.680
So some guys are not privy to that.

1398
01:18:46.680 --> 01:18:48.120
That's new for them.

1399
01:18:48.120 --> 01:18:48.960
Okay.

1400
01:18:48.960 --> 01:18:52.840
And so for some guys that might be a little different.

1401
01:18:52.840 --> 01:18:55.440
And so they might not know how to even set that up

1402
01:18:55.440 --> 01:18:57.280
or what to do or what it's like.

1403
01:18:58.680 --> 01:19:01.640
So, I mean, and I've had to explain to my husband,

1404
01:19:01.640 --> 01:19:04.720
I'm like, well, when you're meeting people online,

1405
01:19:04.720 --> 01:19:08.240
it's more of a, let me make sure that this person

1406
01:19:08.240 --> 01:19:11.600
that I am having conversation with and texting with

1407
01:19:11.600 --> 01:19:14.440
in an app is who they say they are.

1408
01:19:14.680 --> 01:19:15.520
Yeah.

1409
01:19:15.520 --> 01:19:16.360
Yeah.

1410
01:19:16.360 --> 01:19:18.720
Like, I mean, because I know,

1411
01:19:18.720 --> 01:19:21.200
when you share this in the dating video,

1412
01:19:21.200 --> 01:19:23.000
when you do the online dating,

1413
01:19:23.000 --> 01:19:25.760
like be ready that you may have to deal with some scammers.

1414
01:19:25.760 --> 01:19:27.160
We want to make sure that you're practicing.

1415
01:19:27.160 --> 01:19:28.880
Yes.

1416
01:19:28.880 --> 01:19:30.440
It's a lot of scammers.

1417
01:19:30.440 --> 01:19:33.160
It seems like everyone is a widow.

1418
01:19:33.160 --> 01:19:35.360
And so when I see widow, I'm like.

1419
01:19:35.360 --> 01:19:37.760
Widowed, married, overseas.

1420
01:19:37.760 --> 01:19:38.600
Yeah.

1421
01:19:38.600 --> 01:19:39.440
Military.

1422
01:19:39.440 --> 01:19:40.280
Yeah.

1423
01:19:40.280 --> 01:19:42.400
Not saying that there are not guys that are not scammers

1424
01:19:42.400 --> 01:19:44.720
that are widowed or in the military.

1425
01:19:44.720 --> 01:19:48.680
Like, but that is the, that's typically like,

1426
01:19:48.680 --> 01:19:49.920
those are things that you want to be like,

1427
01:19:49.920 --> 01:19:53.360
okay, put my signals, put my signals on this way.

1428
01:19:53.360 --> 01:19:54.440
Get the video chat.

1429
01:19:54.440 --> 01:19:56.360
If they are not who they say they are,

1430
01:19:56.360 --> 01:19:58.560
they're not going to video chat you.

1431
01:19:58.560 --> 01:19:59.400
Okay.

1432
01:19:59.400 --> 01:20:00.240
Okay.

1433
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:02.120
They're just, I mean, put, put it out there.

1434
01:20:02.160 --> 01:20:05.360
That's why I say give them two days, like, Hey, Friday or Saturday,

1435
01:20:05.360 --> 01:20:06.120
which one works for you?

1436
01:20:06.320 --> 01:20:07.920
Monday, Thursday, which day works for you?

1437
01:20:07.920 --> 01:20:09.640
Whatever day is going to work for you.

1438
01:20:10.000 --> 01:20:11.440
Like look at your calendar beforehand.

1439
01:20:11.440 --> 01:20:14.720
Be like, okay, I've got some time on Sunday afternoon and

1440
01:20:14.720 --> 01:20:16.640
I've got time on Wednesday morning.

1441
01:20:17.120 --> 01:20:19.680
Hey, would either of these days and times work?

1442
01:20:20.800 --> 01:20:21.400
Yeah.

1443
01:20:21.440 --> 01:20:22.000
Yeah.

1444
01:20:22.200 --> 01:20:23.400
They're like, no, I can't.

1445
01:20:23.400 --> 01:20:23.720
Okay.

1446
01:20:23.720 --> 01:20:25.160
Well then what date does work for you?

1447
01:20:25.840 --> 01:20:26.400
Okay.

1448
01:20:26.520 --> 01:20:31.520
It needs to be like, be, be bold enough to say, Hey, like I want to,

1449
01:20:31.560 --> 01:20:32.800
I want to get to know you.

1450
01:20:33.560 --> 01:20:39.720
I want to talk to you on video because that's all I keep saying.

1451
01:20:39.720 --> 01:20:40.640
I want to get to know you.

1452
01:20:40.640 --> 01:20:43.760
You say you want a man, but you, you won't even talk to me.

1453
01:20:43.800 --> 01:20:46.440
I gave you my number and you know, and they just going all, I will say,

1454
01:20:46.440 --> 01:20:52.480
yeah, because then I will tell you like on these apps, it's probably a good

1455
01:20:52.480 --> 01:20:57.440
sign that they're wanting you to call them and get on a, on a phone call.

1456
01:20:57.760 --> 01:20:59.240
Cause ladies, you don't want pimp house.

1457
01:20:59.280 --> 01:21:02.920
You don't want pimp house through the apps you're in real life dating.

1458
01:21:03.360 --> 01:21:07.520
And I know that when I was doing the online dating, I wanted to

1459
01:21:07.520 --> 01:21:09.080
know that they were a real person.

1460
01:21:09.200 --> 01:21:13.520
And so I, do you have a Google voice number?

1461
01:21:14.080 --> 01:21:15.360
Yeah, I do.

1462
01:21:15.560 --> 01:21:18.280
But that's like my work number too.

1463
01:21:18.280 --> 01:21:19.560
So I didn't want to, oh, that's right.

1464
01:21:19.560 --> 01:21:20.840
I remember you saying that.

1465
01:21:20.880 --> 01:21:21.160
Yeah.

1466
01:21:21.160 --> 01:21:27.440
So my son set me up, but a text number, it's actually a, you can call them too.

1467
01:21:28.160 --> 01:21:28.400
Okay.

1468
01:21:29.960 --> 01:21:37.760
Like, um, in my past I dealt with talking to a guy over the, um, like, uh, what was

1469
01:21:37.760 --> 01:21:41.000
it like Facebook and then over the phone and everything like that.

1470
01:21:41.720 --> 01:21:42.760
And what happened with that?

1471
01:21:43.320 --> 01:21:46.080
It brought me all the way to Georgia.

1472
01:21:46.240 --> 01:21:49.240
I went down there, set up, built a home.

1473
01:21:49.520 --> 01:21:50.480
Built a home.

1474
01:21:50.720 --> 01:21:56.000
I did everything and I was never with him and I had to come back to Maryland.

1475
01:21:56.320 --> 01:21:57.920
So I'm very, yeah.

1476
01:21:59.800 --> 01:22:00.240
Yeah.

1477
01:22:00.240 --> 01:22:05.640
So it sounds like some of this resistance to wanting to talk to people is because

1478
01:22:05.640 --> 01:22:10.320
you kind of have some trauma and some stuff that you're still struggling with.

1479
01:22:10.320 --> 01:22:10.760
Right.

1480
01:22:10.840 --> 01:22:12.440
Would I, would that be fair to say?

1481
01:22:13.000 --> 01:22:13.680
Yeah.

1482
01:22:13.680 --> 01:22:14.720
I don't, yeah.

1483
01:22:14.720 --> 01:22:18.040
I don't know about, you know, when they get in my ears, like

1484
01:22:18.360 --> 01:22:18.800
that's what I'm saying.

1485
01:22:18.800 --> 01:22:21.400
I think that's why it's important to do the video calls, make sure that you,

1486
01:22:21.400 --> 01:22:25.720
they are who they say they are, you know, again, just, and you've watched

1487
01:22:25.720 --> 01:22:26.880
all of our videos, right.

1488
01:22:26.880 --> 01:22:28.480
And yeah, yeah.

1489
01:22:30.040 --> 01:22:30.320
Yeah.

1490
01:22:30.360 --> 01:22:35.560
And so we give a lot of coaching on making sure that we don't find

1491
01:22:35.560 --> 01:22:36.960
ourselves in those situations.

1492
01:22:36.960 --> 01:22:42.040
That's why we want video dates and in-person sooner rather than later.

1493
01:22:42.080 --> 01:22:46.800
Cause, and we also, again, let's not deep dive with people in those first couple

1494
01:22:46.800 --> 01:22:47.240
dates.

1495
01:22:47.800 --> 01:22:48.320
All right.

1496
01:22:48.880 --> 01:22:52.320
Cause that's when that emotional connection is going to take place.

1497
01:22:52.760 --> 01:22:56.840
We really want to make sure that we're not trauma bonding, you know,

1498
01:22:56.840 --> 01:22:58.440
sharing all of the details.

1499
01:22:58.880 --> 01:23:07.600
I want you to allow yourself to kind of forgive yourself for that past

1500
01:23:07.600 --> 01:23:09.360
situation that brought you down to Georgia.

1501
01:23:10.600 --> 01:23:13.040
Have you forgiven that gentleman?

1502
01:23:13.880 --> 01:23:17.240
I just kind of like not think about him.

1503
01:23:17.600 --> 01:23:17.840
Yeah.

1504
01:23:17.840 --> 01:23:21.960
I, I, I would, I would say that some of this is probably coming up because

1505
01:23:21.960 --> 01:23:24.200
there's probably some healing that needs to take place there.

1506
01:23:25.600 --> 01:23:25.920
Okay.

1507
01:23:28.400 --> 01:23:30.000
I won't tell you the hard things, ladies.

1508
01:23:30.560 --> 01:23:31.320
I will.

1509
01:23:32.000 --> 01:23:32.720
But you know what?

1510
01:23:32.720 --> 01:23:38.560
One other thing is our old boyfriend who wanted to marry me when I was like 17,

1511
01:23:38.560 --> 01:23:40.680
18, he was going off to service.

1512
01:23:40.800 --> 01:23:47.040
Good guy, but I wasn't such a good girl, so I wasn't right for him, but I always

1513
01:23:47.040 --> 01:23:48.720
felt like I missed him.

1514
01:23:48.760 --> 01:23:50.000
The good one got away.

1515
01:23:50.000 --> 01:23:55.200
So I dreamed, I dreamt about him, but we're friends on Facebook, but my

1516
01:23:55.200 --> 01:23:59.840
spiritual walk in his is totally different and he doesn't really reach out to me.

1517
01:24:00.160 --> 01:24:05.280
But I think I'm forgiving myself, realizing that I was never, I would have

1518
01:24:05.280 --> 01:24:07.520
never been in a good relationship with him.

1519
01:24:07.520 --> 01:24:10.640
It probably wouldn't have last, would have been just like my marriage.

1520
01:24:10.640 --> 01:24:11.280
It would have ended.

1521
01:24:11.280 --> 01:24:13.120
You probably had to experience and go through.

1522
01:24:13.120 --> 01:24:17.680
And so, yeah, I would just be careful when we're aligning with certain things

1523
01:24:17.680 --> 01:24:20.400
saying, oh, I'm going to have this belief that the good one got away.

1524
01:24:20.840 --> 01:24:21.840
Let's break up.

1525
01:24:22.240 --> 01:24:25.200
Let's prune that, that thought, that lie.

1526
01:24:26.040 --> 01:24:26.720
Okay.

1527
01:24:27.360 --> 01:24:29.280
People come into our lives for certain seasons.

1528
01:24:29.280 --> 01:24:31.480
I think it's good that you're recognizing, you know what?

1529
01:24:31.480 --> 01:24:34.360
I had some healing and I had some growth to do back in the day.

1530
01:24:34.360 --> 01:24:35.280
But guess what?

1531
01:24:35.320 --> 01:24:37.200
You're getting healing and growth now.

1532
01:24:37.840 --> 01:24:38.320
Yes.

1533
01:24:38.320 --> 01:24:40.240
And there is still a good one out there.

1534
01:24:41.920 --> 01:24:42.640
Okay.

1535
01:24:42.880 --> 01:24:47.400
And so I just want you again, like, it sounds like we got, we got some, like

1536
01:24:47.400 --> 01:24:49.800
heartwork never, never goes away.

1537
01:24:50.560 --> 01:24:55.320
So when you're recognizing this resistance to things or the feelings of

1538
01:24:55.320 --> 01:25:00.280
overwhelming, you're recognizing that you're not alone, you're not alone.

1539
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:02.160
maybe there's some anxiety, there's some fears,

1540
01:25:02.160 --> 01:25:03.840
there's some lies that we're believing.

1541
01:25:03.840 --> 01:25:07.660
Let's make sure that we're circling through our hard work.

1542
01:25:07.660 --> 01:25:08.500
Okay.

1543
01:25:08.500 --> 01:25:09.360
And processing through that.

1544
01:25:09.360 --> 01:25:11.580
And it sounds like I said, you know,

1545
01:25:11.580 --> 01:25:14.600
maybe consider doing some forgiveness,

1546
01:25:14.600 --> 01:25:17.320
going back to those chapters in hard work

1547
01:25:17.320 --> 01:25:21.520
on forgiveness of that guy from Georgia, all right?

1548
01:25:21.520 --> 01:25:23.640
And remember, like you didn't know

1549
01:25:23.640 --> 01:25:25.660
what you didn't know back then.

1550
01:25:25.660 --> 01:25:26.500
Right, all right.

1551
01:25:26.500 --> 01:25:28.040
You have new information now,

1552
01:25:28.040 --> 01:25:30.520
doesn't mean that that same situation is gonna happen.

1553
01:25:30.520 --> 01:25:32.800
You have a community, you know,

1554
01:25:32.800 --> 01:25:34.960
as long as you ladies are coming up

1555
01:25:34.960 --> 01:25:37.720
and coming here and sharing with us,

1556
01:25:37.720 --> 01:25:39.640
letting us know what's going on,

1557
01:25:39.640 --> 01:25:43.360
we will do everything possible

1558
01:25:43.360 --> 01:25:47.240
to help you see those blind spots, all right?

1559
01:25:47.240 --> 01:25:48.680
Like ladies, I will tell you,

1560
01:25:48.680 --> 01:25:50.880
there's gonna be times that I'll probably tell you things

1561
01:25:50.880 --> 01:25:52.920
and you're gonna get angry at me.

1562
01:25:52.920 --> 01:25:56.680
Because like, you know, I'm gonna tell you the hard things.

1563
01:25:56.680 --> 01:25:58.760
That is one thing I've always been,

1564
01:25:58.760 --> 01:26:01.480
you know, ever since I was younger,

1565
01:26:01.480 --> 01:26:05.000
like my friends knew, go to Carla if you want the hard truth

1566
01:26:05.000 --> 01:26:06.660
because she gonna tell it to you.

1567
01:26:08.080 --> 01:26:10.920
But we do it in a very loving and a gentle way

1568
01:26:10.920 --> 01:26:13.600
and, you know, a non-judgmental, you know,

1569
01:26:13.600 --> 01:26:15.300
this is a judgment-free zone.

1570
01:26:16.160 --> 01:26:17.320
You know, we're here to help you.

1571
01:26:17.320 --> 01:26:19.320
We're here to help you heal

1572
01:26:19.320 --> 01:26:21.940
and put, you know, lights in areas

1573
01:26:21.940 --> 01:26:23.480
that maybe need some highlighting.

1574
01:26:23.480 --> 01:26:24.840
Let's, hey, let's work on this.

1575
01:26:24.840 --> 01:26:26.400
This is surfacing.

1576
01:26:27.000 --> 01:26:28.560
Let's ask the Holy Spirit to come in

1577
01:26:28.560 --> 01:26:30.400
in these areas and heal it.

1578
01:26:30.400 --> 01:26:31.720
Oh, one other thing.

1579
01:26:33.640 --> 01:26:38.000
I like the accent of the men from down under.

1580
01:26:38.840 --> 01:26:40.600
But- Oh, the Australians, yeah.

1581
01:26:40.600 --> 01:26:43.560
Yeah, but I would be like,

1582
01:26:43.560 --> 01:26:45.720
kind of afraid to talk to them

1583
01:26:45.720 --> 01:26:47.920
because I don't know if they scammers.

1584
01:26:48.840 --> 01:26:49.680
Well, that's what I'm saying.

1585
01:26:49.680 --> 01:26:52.000
That's why, again, get on those video calls.

1586
01:26:52.000 --> 01:26:54.400
Do not, ladies, again, like we have,

1587
01:26:54.400 --> 01:26:56.340
I think it's in the online dating,

1588
01:26:57.280 --> 01:26:59.980
we do talk a little bit about like online safety.

1589
01:26:59.980 --> 01:27:02.860
Do not give your personal numbers out.

1590
01:27:02.860 --> 01:27:07.260
Do not share in-depth details about yourself.

1591
01:27:07.260 --> 01:27:11.140
Do not, do not give them money.

1592
01:27:12.060 --> 01:27:15.540
And I know that like sounds crazy that we're saying that,

1593
01:27:15.540 --> 01:27:18.940
but ladies, way back when, when I was in the program,

1594
01:27:18.940 --> 01:27:21.380
I was probably a year, year and a half in,

1595
01:27:21.380 --> 01:27:23.860
we had a woman in our community

1596
01:27:23.900 --> 01:27:27.340
that got scammed for like $10,000.

1597
01:27:27.340 --> 01:27:30.380
Like it was a lot.

1598
01:27:30.380 --> 01:27:32.020
It wasn't just like $1,000 here.

1599
01:27:32.020 --> 01:27:33.700
Like it was a decent amount.

1600
01:27:33.700 --> 01:27:35.620
She got scammed and she sent money.

1601
01:27:37.060 --> 01:27:38.020
And we're not saying that,

1602
01:27:38.020 --> 01:27:40.420
like I don't want you ladies to be freaked out,

1603
01:27:40.420 --> 01:27:43.500
but there's just like use discernment.

1604
01:27:43.500 --> 01:27:46.620
If you're not sure, bring it to our community.

1605
01:27:46.620 --> 01:27:47.980
We will help you navigate

1606
01:27:47.980 --> 01:27:52.260
how to create healthy boundaries, okay?

1607
01:27:52.260 --> 01:27:56.860
Like you can still practice like online dating safety

1608
01:27:56.860 --> 01:27:59.220
and still, but I don't want you ladies

1609
01:27:59.220 --> 01:28:01.220
to the point where you're constantly afraid.

1610
01:28:01.220 --> 01:28:02.060
Is this a scammer?

1611
01:28:02.060 --> 01:28:02.900
Is this a scammer?

1612
01:28:02.900 --> 01:28:03.720
Is this a scammer?

1613
01:28:03.720 --> 01:28:05.100
Is this a scammer?

1614
01:28:05.100 --> 01:28:06.220
Okay.

1615
01:28:06.220 --> 01:28:07.340
Get those video dates.

1616
01:28:07.340 --> 01:28:08.180
That's what I'm saying.

1617
01:28:08.180 --> 01:28:10.140
Like you have a Zoom account?

1618
01:28:10.140 --> 01:28:11.380
Tell them to click the link.

1619
01:28:11.380 --> 01:28:12.940
Zoom is free.

1620
01:28:12.940 --> 01:28:13.780
Yes.

1621
01:28:13.780 --> 01:28:17.260
Like if a man doesn't know how to click a link

1622
01:28:17.260 --> 01:28:22.140
to get on a Zoom call, like honey, it's 2025.

1623
01:28:23.060 --> 01:28:26.460
Like we all went through the COVID, right?

1624
01:28:26.460 --> 01:28:27.500
We all went through that

1625
01:28:27.500 --> 01:28:30.260
where everybody learned how to get on Zoom, all right?

1626
01:28:30.260 --> 01:28:34.660
So that to me, like if they're not willing to do that,

1627
01:28:35.580 --> 01:28:37.020
move on.

1628
01:28:37.020 --> 01:28:42.020
Like when you do the Zoom meeting, it's informal.

1629
01:28:42.100 --> 01:28:44.780
It's not necessarily a date, right?

1630
01:28:44.780 --> 01:28:46.940
Well, I mean, we count it as a date,

1631
01:28:46.940 --> 01:28:48.660
but I mean, I still want you,

1632
01:28:48.660 --> 01:28:51.300
I mean, ladies, I don't want you to come in,

1633
01:28:51.940 --> 01:28:54.060
without your hair done and some makeup on.

1634
01:28:54.060 --> 01:28:56.380
I mean, you don't have to be like super like,

1635
01:28:56.380 --> 01:28:58.780
I'm going out on a Friday night, fabulous.

1636
01:28:58.780 --> 01:28:59.620
Okay.

1637
01:28:59.620 --> 01:29:00.460
Okay.

1638
01:29:00.460 --> 01:29:03.500
But still present yourself well, all right?

1639
01:29:03.500 --> 01:29:04.860
I wouldn't necessarily say like,

1640
01:29:04.860 --> 01:29:07.860
I'm not gonna probably wear a sweatshirt and my hair,

1641
01:29:07.860 --> 01:29:10.620
like my hair, I haven't washed it in a few days,

1642
01:29:11.460 --> 01:29:13.860
but I did put a little bit of makeup on,

1643
01:29:13.860 --> 01:29:17.900
but maybe wear a nice blouse, do your hair nice

1644
01:29:17.900 --> 01:29:19.780
and put a little bit of makeup on.

1645
01:29:19.780 --> 01:29:20.620
Okay.

1646
01:29:20.940 --> 01:29:21.780
Let that be presentable.

1647
01:29:21.780 --> 01:29:22.620
Okay.

1648
01:29:22.620 --> 01:29:25.460
Don't expect them into, I mean, it's nice when they do,

1649
01:29:25.460 --> 01:29:29.100
but they don't typically always do that.

1650
01:29:29.100 --> 01:29:31.260
So we're gonna give them grace in that area.

1651
01:29:31.260 --> 01:29:33.500
But yeah, you definitely wanna get them on camera,

1652
01:29:33.500 --> 01:29:36.300
especially ladies, especially if they're long distance.

1653
01:29:37.540 --> 01:29:40.700
Like if they're local, chances are,

1654
01:29:40.700 --> 01:29:43.620
they're probably not a scammer.

1655
01:29:43.620 --> 01:29:44.460
Okay.

1656
01:29:44.460 --> 01:29:45.500
Okay.

1657
01:29:45.500 --> 01:29:48.220
I would be open to going,

1658
01:29:48.220 --> 01:29:49.900
and if you don't wanna do the Zoom,

1659
01:29:49.940 --> 01:29:53.340
I would even maybe, if you're bold and have the courage,

1660
01:29:54.900 --> 01:29:56.140
set up an in-person meetup.

1661
01:29:56.140 --> 01:29:59.060
It doesn't have to be something super scary.

1662
01:29:59.060 --> 01:30:00.660
It doesn't have to be something.

1663
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:02.120
super long, it literally can be like,

1664
01:30:02.120 --> 01:30:04.960
make sure it's a public place and sometime during the day.

1665
01:30:04.960 --> 01:30:06.080
Oh, yeah.

1666
01:30:06.080 --> 01:30:07.600
Like the Y,

1667
01:30:07.600 --> 01:30:10.680
because I'm taking swim lessons at the Y.

1668
01:30:10.680 --> 01:30:13.360
Okay, well, let's not put yourself in a bathing suit

1669
01:30:13.360 --> 01:30:15.160
in front of a man on the first date.

1670
01:30:16.120 --> 01:30:16.960
All right.

1671
01:30:20.400 --> 01:30:21.240
If there is like-

1672
01:30:21.240 --> 01:30:23.840
You're right, you're right, you're right.

1673
01:30:23.840 --> 01:30:26.920
Hey, would you like to play tennis with me at the Y?

1674
01:30:26.920 --> 01:30:27.880
Okay.

1675
01:30:27.880 --> 01:30:29.480
And I wouldn't even let them know,

1676
01:30:29.560 --> 01:30:32.160
I come to this Y every, you know,

1677
01:30:32.160 --> 01:30:33.480
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

1678
01:30:33.480 --> 01:30:36.440
Don't let them know your schedule,

1679
01:30:36.440 --> 01:30:39.200
like where you're gonna be and all that kind of stuff,

1680
01:30:39.200 --> 01:30:41.480
especially in those first couple of dates.

1681
01:30:41.480 --> 01:30:44.080
Again, so we wanna be careful what we disclose to them,

1682
01:30:44.080 --> 01:30:45.480
but we don't wanna be to the point

1683
01:30:45.480 --> 01:30:48.720
that we're so freaked out to share anything with them.

1684
01:30:48.720 --> 01:30:50.760
All right, there's a healthy balance there.

1685
01:30:50.760 --> 01:30:52.720
But yeah, like, hey,

1686
01:30:52.720 --> 01:30:54.240
do you wanna go play tennis with me?

1687
01:30:54.240 --> 01:30:55.520
Do you wanna go bowling?

1688
01:30:55.520 --> 01:30:56.400
Let's go bowling.

1689
01:30:56.400 --> 01:30:59.400
Let's go, there's this really beautiful park

1690
01:31:00.200 --> 01:31:02.560
and there's a lake, like, let's go take a walk.

1691
01:31:03.560 --> 01:31:06.480
Do something where it can be an hour long date.

1692
01:31:06.480 --> 01:31:10.080
If they're local, you don't have to do the video date.

1693
01:31:10.080 --> 01:31:12.680
You can just say, why don't we go ahead

1694
01:31:12.680 --> 01:31:15.960
and meet at such and such place,

1695
01:31:15.960 --> 01:31:18.560
at such and such time, on such and such date?

1696
01:31:18.560 --> 01:31:19.760
Would that work for you?

1697
01:31:20.880 --> 01:31:21.720
And I also-

1698
01:31:23.080 --> 01:31:25.800
Are you like conversing with guys

1699
01:31:25.800 --> 01:31:27.720
that have their picture on the app?

1700
01:31:28.720 --> 01:31:31.280
Yeah, their picture, yeah.

1701
01:31:31.280 --> 01:31:34.040
And I don't know why I just felt prompted to say this,

1702
01:31:34.040 --> 01:31:36.280
but ladies, I know when I was online dating,

1703
01:31:36.280 --> 01:31:37.960
there were some men that would contact me

1704
01:31:37.960 --> 01:31:40.920
and they didn't have pictures on their profile.

1705
01:31:40.920 --> 01:31:42.160
I wouldn't talk to them.

1706
01:31:42.160 --> 01:31:43.360
Let's not talk to those.

1707
01:31:44.200 --> 01:31:46.600
Like, there's something for me

1708
01:31:46.600 --> 01:31:48.800
that was just something that was always off.

1709
01:31:51.040 --> 01:31:53.800
Yeah, like, if you're gonna be online dating,

1710
01:31:53.800 --> 01:31:56.800
you gotta be willing to put your face out there.

1711
01:31:56.960 --> 01:31:58.680
And that goes for you ladies too.

1712
01:31:58.680 --> 01:32:01.800
Like, let's work on making sure

1713
01:32:01.800 --> 01:32:06.200
that we have some cute profile photos of ourselves.

1714
01:32:06.200 --> 01:32:08.200
We get women in this phase all the time

1715
01:32:08.200 --> 01:32:10.080
that share their photos in our app

1716
01:32:10.080 --> 01:32:11.800
and we kind of give comments like,

1717
01:32:11.800 --> 01:32:13.440
oh, this is good, this is good.

1718
01:32:13.440 --> 01:32:16.760
Hey, let's not post pictures with a bunch of people in them.

1719
01:32:16.760 --> 01:32:19.760
Let's not post pictures with sunglasses on.

1720
01:32:19.760 --> 01:32:21.800
We want full body shots, some face shots,

1721
01:32:21.800 --> 01:32:25.600
like things that are flattering, photos that are flattering.

1722
01:32:26.880 --> 01:32:31.120
Yes, Leslie, some men have some terrible photos.

1723
01:32:31.120 --> 01:32:34.000
You know, I wouldn't necessarily ignore them.

1724
01:32:34.960 --> 01:32:38.640
I mean, I never, I kind of put a boundary.

1725
01:32:38.640 --> 01:32:42.160
Like, I was not interested in swiping on guys

1726
01:32:42.160 --> 01:32:44.480
that had the gym selfies.

1727
01:32:45.440 --> 01:32:47.520
Or like, they took pictures of themselves

1728
01:32:47.520 --> 01:32:48.360
with their shirts off.

1729
01:32:48.360 --> 01:32:50.080
Like, that was just not a thing.

1730
01:32:50.080 --> 01:32:52.440
One man was an undertaker or something

1731
01:32:52.440 --> 01:32:55.280
and he had a chainsaw with blood around it.

1732
01:32:55.280 --> 01:32:58.280
Yeah, no, I probably wouldn't be interested in that either.

1733
01:32:59.840 --> 01:33:00.760
I mean, if you're like,

1734
01:33:00.760 --> 01:33:03.360
if that doesn't like make your stomach a little queasy,

1735
01:33:03.360 --> 01:33:05.000
then, you know, maybe you're fine with that.

1736
01:33:05.000 --> 01:33:08.000
I mean, that's how he, that just seems off to me.

1737
01:33:10.440 --> 01:33:11.920
But as I'm saying, like, sometimes these guys,

1738
01:33:11.920 --> 01:33:13.440
like ladies, we have to give them grace.

1739
01:33:13.440 --> 01:33:15.440
They don't always know.

1740
01:33:15.440 --> 01:33:17.320
Like, they don't have Jackie.

1741
01:33:17.320 --> 01:33:20.360
They don't have, you know, me and Ebony and Bethany.

1742
01:33:20.360 --> 01:33:22.040
Like, they don't have them coaching.

1743
01:33:22.040 --> 01:33:24.280
They don't have us coaching them, right?

1744
01:33:24.280 --> 01:33:26.520
So we've got to give them grace in some areas,

1745
01:33:26.520 --> 01:33:29.240
but, you know, those are just some tidbits.

1746
01:33:30.200 --> 01:33:31.520
I'm definitely over on time.

1747
01:33:31.520 --> 01:33:33.320
So ladies, I'm going to cut it off.

1748
01:33:34.600 --> 01:33:36.800
Thank you all for those of you that shared,

1749
01:33:36.800 --> 01:33:38.320
you know, let's come next week.

1750
01:33:38.320 --> 01:33:40.320
If those of you that did not get to share,

1751
01:33:40.320 --> 01:33:42.160
I want to encourage you,

1752
01:33:42.160 --> 01:33:44.720
definitely come with your questions.

1753
01:33:44.720 --> 01:33:45.880
We are here for you.

1754
01:33:45.880 --> 01:33:48.680
If you can make it to eight o'clock tonight,

1755
01:33:48.680 --> 01:33:50.880
ask a question there with Ebony

1756
01:33:50.880 --> 01:33:53.760
and don't hesitate to put your questions

1757
01:33:54.240 --> 01:33:55.880
in the app as well and let us know

1758
01:33:55.880 --> 01:33:58.920
what you're working on in Roll Call, okay?

1759
01:33:58.920 --> 01:34:00.320
Ladies, it's been a pleasure.

1760
01:34:00.320 --> 01:34:01.640
Thank you so much.

1761
01:34:01.640 --> 01:34:02.560
Thank you.

1762
01:34:02.560 --> 01:34:03.920
Thank you.

1763
01:34:03.920 --> 01:34:05.080
God bless.

1764
01:34:05.080 --> 01:34:05.920
Have a great day.

1765
01:34:05.920 --> 01:34:06.760
Bye, ladies.