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Not you Natalie. I was talking about for Aubrey. You responded to your questions Natalie.

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But she probably can't hear me. Okay. Hey ladies let's get started. I'm so excited to see y'all.

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Hey Lauren coming on in the room. I hope you guys had a really good day today. If you didn't,

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I am convinced that it's about to get better because you know it's that girl power thing.

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When we all come together how amazing it is. We join forces and make the most incredible

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things happen. That's what we do. So let me, I knew my screen wasn't bright enough for some reason.

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Yay. So hello to all our first timers. We are happy to have you as you come on in the room.

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I want to do a quick little housekeeping. Hey Jennifer it's good to see you.

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Just remember if you're new, we do have a coaching at 1 p.m and 8 p.m which is 7 p.m

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east, it's 8 p.m eastern time. You're always welcome to jump on both. When you do do both,

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if you ask some questions in the first one, we ask that you hold your questions on the second

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one until the other people who have not gone into a session already has responded. I mean

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have asked their questions. Let's remember that, let's say someone had this issue like they were

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trying to post it under their wins, hey Kari, but they couldn't get it posted under wins but they

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did post it in the all tab of community. So you're free to do that if you can't get whatever you're

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posting to show but there's some type of glitches, don't worry about that. Remember you guys that we

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don't want to post anything from outside sources without admin approval because that's how we keep

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this community safe. Be sure you guys are checking all tabs when you want to know about events that

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are coming up and if they haven't been posted yet, just keep checking the tabs because they

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will eventually be posted but if they don't eventually be posted by all means, please say

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something. So for example, if you want to know anything about the last year single trip, it's

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going to be under the tab resource tab and you should see it there. Any current single city,

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someone posted and said they would keep selecting the single city link and it wouldn't work, that's

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not the first time that has happened and so when that does happen, just drop a ticket, go to reach

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out, contact, let them know that you're selecting a link that is not working so that they could fix

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that. And so you guys, the replays are always very helpful. This is something I forget to do before

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we get started but I do want to pray. God, I thank you for this evening. I thank you for the ladies

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and I thank you that they have an opportunity in the space to pour themselves out. This is not just

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about dating but this is all about them. So I thank you for wisdom. I thank you that they have

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problems and that heaven has solutions and that we're going to get those solutions to them. In

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Jesus name we thank you, Lord God. Amen. All right, tell us how did you do last week? What are some

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things that you were getting pruned? What was your plan? What's the prune and how did it go?

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So you identify something that you needed pruning just for everyone who wasn't here for that

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assignment or that activation. You identified an area in your life that needed pruning and you were

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supposed to put a plan into place to make that happen. So one of your prunes, just an example,

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you say, hey, I want to get healthier. What plan did you put in place to start pruning away

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at your life in that way so that you can be refined and all better for it? Jennifer, go for it.

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Hi. Hey. Good to see you. I said last week that I was going to prune driving Uber.

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It has served its purpose for the last two years because I'm an early career realtor. I'm coming

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up on three years in September. But because it's commission-based, thank you for that. I appreciate

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that a lot. But because it's commission-based and then also the time frame of like when I

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receive my commissions is not steady, I have driven Uber as something to help support myself.

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But it's just not sustainable, especially for I think what God's highlighting for me is health

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and balance. Because I still work my real estate job nine to five. And then I'm up at night doing

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this for survival, which is not good. Survival mode is not good. Sometimes until like one and

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two in the morning. And for a season, there was grace for that. But I feel the grace wearing out,

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you know? So what I've started to do, because I can't just quit my source of income willy-nilly,

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I got my resume together and that was very empowering.

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because I cleaned up my resume, I cleaned up my LinkedIn, and I was like,

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wow, I've done a lot of things. It started to give me clearer vision on what I can apply for.

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I feel much more empowered. I feel much more hopeful. And so now when I'm looking at jobs,

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I'm not overwhelmed. I'm like, no, I have these skills. I have these skills. I have these skills.

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So even just taking the action on Monday of working on my resume and starting to submit

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for jobs has at least given me a little bit of peace. I still got to find something. So that's

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the source of prayer that I'm asking for, is just favor to get those interviews and then

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get hired so I can let this go. Because I'm sitting in my car right now because I just

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finished driving Uber. I'm not doing this anymore. I know. That's awesome, Jennifer.

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Yay. That's awesome. That's encouraging. Go for it, Allison.

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One thing Jackie said, clean out your closet. And I thought it is time because, yeah,

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I want some cuter clothes. And so one thing I decided to prune is poor eating. And because

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I've done it for a long time because I thought if I'm not going to have a boyfriend, then I'm not

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denying myself this joy. Because as Christians, we don't do a lot of the things or we shouldn't

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like sleeping around or getting drunk, but eating is acceptable. And so I joined Keto and my coach

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said to me, she said, when opportunity knocks, it's too late to prepare. And I said, girl,

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I said, that's what they're saying in last year single. So I told my coach and really I've not

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told anybody that I wanted to marry really in my life. And I told this coach, I barely know,

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I'm getting married soon. And she said, really? To who? And I said, I haven't met him yet, but

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I'm getting ready. And so it's just it was empowering. And with Keto, I will say they say

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you have the Keto flu. And I was helping someone in crisis. I was sick all week. I was in bed this

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weekend. And I realized it is a thing, the Keto flu when you've eaten poorly. So if y'all decide

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to go on it, it's real, but I'm doing it. Yes. I love it. Like you can't wait till it's time to

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get ready. You know, it's too late. Once you're offered, once that man is there, it's too late

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to say, I got to get ready. It's too late. We got to do it now.

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That's right, Alison. I love it. Anybody else? What other pruning took place?

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Well, I didn't, I didn't really discover what I needed to prune until today, to be honest.

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And actually it's what you said last week is what is kind of what brought it up.

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I was driving this morning and I was praying and I was praying in my car. And, and then on the way

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home, just a few minutes ago, a song by Jackie Velasquez came on called, I Get On My Knees.

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And I remember listening to that song when I was younger. And I, and for some reason it hit me.

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And I, and I started crying in my car on the way home. And I really think that I need to,

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even though I don't want to, and I, I, I need to get up earlier in the morning and spend time with

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God. So I'm, I'm making, I'm saying this, I'm saying this out loud to all of my sisters in here.

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And I hope you guys will help keep me accountable that I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get up at five

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o'clock when I normally set my alarm for 530 and at least commit to 15 to 20 minutes.

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That's good.

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That's awesome. That's right. Way to go. That's right.

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I need to, cause I need to get on my knees. That's, that song really hit me today. I don't

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know. I don't know why, but it did.

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Yeah. Go for it, Shirai. I know there are probably other women in this community who

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spend morning times with the Lord. If it makes you feeling better,

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you have a tribe that's up with you. I get up at three o'clock and so let's go for it.

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You won't be up by yourself at five o'clock. I'm still praying. So yes,

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I get up for worship and prayer. Well, as well as three thirties,

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I just push it up to three cause I wanted a little more time on the back end.

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And so, um, go for it. You will not be alone.

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So when you wake up in the morning, just think, Ebony is up.

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Any other ladies get up in the morning?

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She's a teacher like me, so if she can survive, if she can survive getting up that early and

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still teach all day, I can too.

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You can do it.

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You got to turn it on.

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Yeah, I had a few things on the list, if that's okay.

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Go for it.

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What did you have?

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So I am going to prune overthinking and overjudging and negative things and doubt and passivity

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and material stuff, everything that's breaking, instead of trying to fix it or give it away,

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I'm just throwing it away.

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There's been stuff breaking nonstop, that's this distraction thing that's going on here.

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And what I'm turning it in for is better health and diet, like my other sister.

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I've been working on, I found a Dieting God's Way type thing on Facebook and just eating

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natural.

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I've read a lot about the other things and they're kind of yo-yo.

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And family connections, personal care.

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I usually don't like to go to the doctor, but I've been making appointments to go for

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small things.

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And I got sick this last week and took two days off, which I normally wouldn't do.

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And I went in and got tested.

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I thought I had picked up something, strep throat or COVID, and I didn't.

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It's just allergies.

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I was off two days last week, but I did go in and get checked and I got prescriptions

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refilled that I've been delaying.

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And I joined a gym, but because of my allergies, I've only made it twice.

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So just trying to focus on clothing as I'm trying to watch things on Facebook, how to

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put outfits together better instead of looking frumpy.

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So that's kind of my goals.

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Yeah.

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I think that's awesome.

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Yes, Laura, you do have beautiful hair.

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Yeah, ladies, I think y'all all did some awesome things.

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If you haven't come up with anything and this is your first time hearing about the challenge,

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let's go ahead and think of some areas in our life that needs to be pruned.

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We all have them.

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We all have areas in our life that need pruning.

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You know, to produce the fullest harvest, we do some pruning and cutting away.

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And so when you think of the area that you want to prune away at, let's come up with

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a plan on how we're going to get there.

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And then you can just post it on the community wall.

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You can be ready to share with us by the time we come back again.

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You can share how you've already put your action plan in place.

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And it didn't have to be one thing at a time.

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You know, go for it, Kelly.

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Good to see you.

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Sorry, I was muted.

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Yes, it's good to be back.

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So we have women's ministry on Tuesday nights for different sessions.

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So I'm gone for a chunk of time for that.

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I think that the Lord might be telling me to find out this stuff that I've been getting to know.

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Do what now?

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I think the Lord might be telling me to prune out this guy that I've been getting to know.

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You said prune out?

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Prune, prune it.

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Prune, oh, prune out this guy that you've been getting to know.

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Yeah.

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You think he's telling you that.

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That's funny.

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I haven't been, I was listening to the Supernatural Saturday when Jackie talked about that today.

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Right, when I was listening to it.

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Amongst other things, I felt like she was talking about pruning like basically good to great.

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You know, like wanting not just good but great.

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And I felt like, oh, I think that kind of might be what God's telling me with this guy.

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That he's a good guy.

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He's a wonderful guy.

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But probably not the best match for me.

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I say probably because I haven't told him that yet.

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And he's actually a fairly good communicator.

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So it's probably something we should talk about.

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But I have a feeling that that's where it's going to go.

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And that's okay.

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It's been very successful because we have gotten to know each other.

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It's been about four months.

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And we haven't crossed any boundaries.

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It's been very respectful.

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So it feels like...

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Even if it doesn't, or we will still be friends and can end things on like a positive note, you know.

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I feel like it's an experience for both of us.

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Yeah, yeah you put a good bit of time into that Kelly. Yeah.

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How did y'all manage to put that much time in without defining the relationship.

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Um, I think we kind of we.

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I think we both entered it kind of with the same expectations like I was really clear about just getting to know people and moving really slowly and just really wanting to get to know people.

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And

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so that, and then probably not crossing any boundaries, you know what I mean keeping it really. We also didn't introduce each other to family or friends yet on the advice of some dating things that we had heard.

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And so just kind of keeping it like that. And we also didn't see each other every weekend, you know.

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Yeah. And I think, I mean, I don't know I never felt like a huge like, ah, this is the guy but there was such a strong spiritual connection that I thought.

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And he may be in the same boat, you know, so it might be like, we're both in ministry so we have that in common and it's easy to share and talk about that.

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But that doesn't necessarily mean that we're compatible and all the other ways to and the love match and everything, you know, for sure. Oh, I feel really good about the way it's gone.

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So, we'll see if it goes further if that's it but I feel like that's what kind of hit with the Lord maybe saying, well, this is kind of run its course.

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Oh, that's awesome Kelly way to go.

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Thank you. Yeah, that's awesome. Thank you for sharing that.

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And were you about to share something.

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Well, I was thinking about it, I shared that the Lord mean, I'm like all my stuff that I have like 35 years of marriage accumulation, and I took the majority of it at the divorce.

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Three and a half years ago almost four years now. And so, the action was a garage sale this weekend, where I probably gave two thirds of it away, like, just a way.

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But the Lord pruned way more than that he pruned wrong beliefs about money that I like a stronghold like that I didn't even know I had, it was deep and it was, it was a familiar one that I had had, but, but I had heard two different people.

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This weekend, over small amounts of money, but it was a heart thing in me.

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And, and it was like that can't come into other relationships. And so it came to light, and, and thankfully the relationships are intact, because they both forgave me, but I really hurt them and didn't have any idea that was even in there so so that pruning

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left to some deeper root, like yanking some root stuff out. And so anyway.

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That's awesome.

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Yeah, like heck.

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Don't hurt.

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But it's not as sweet as victory. Right, right. It's not as sweet as being powerful, but it does hurt a lot.

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I think that's why we don't really prune ourselves. Right. And I showed on like the sign of when the Lord do pruning.

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Yeah, thank you for sharing. You're welcome.

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Ladies, I'm going to share a quick thing before we go into all our coaching so if you've got questions, get them ready.

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I want to talk a little bit about our perception of things when things when we're when we're dating, or not just dating, it can be in regular relationships, but sometimes you know in the in phase one Jackie talks about that we see with our heart.

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We don't always see with our eyes we see through different lenses. And so the reason why I'm bringing up because someone posted in the community, and then I had an experience myself and I thought this will be a really good thing to talk about and I'll leave with my own experience.

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And so I've been dating this a great guy for a little while now, and he was saying to me we were out at the store, and he is.

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He grabs my hand to hold my hand quite often and I'm not a hand holder.

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And so it is.

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come in place for him. One, one reason why we hold hands a lot because he's legally blind

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and so that means sometimes he's going to need my help because depending on if if we're in a place

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and the light lighting changes or if there are a lot of things in the way. So it's natural for him

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to hold my hand sometimes or my arm but then because it's just so common to him he'll just

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grab my hand. I'm like, do you need my hand right now? He's like, huh? Do you need my hand? He's

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like, no. I was like, oh look, can you give me some space? So that's my response and so my roommate,

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she was like, Ebony, he's just doting over you because I'm like, oh he like he can't get it.

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Like I don't want to hold no hand. Get back. Give me some space and so I'll be very like

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about holding my hand. I was like, can you ask for my hand? Now for him it's not a thing about

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boundaries because he's very respectful of boundaries but for him it's natural to grab my

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hand and so for me it's unnatural and so I was just really getting worked up and I'm like, look,

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I don't know if I gotta tell you this but you look at this. Let's be clear about why we're holding

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hands right now. And so she was like, oh he's just doting over you and he does. It's just like he's

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crazy about me and every chance he gets he just like dotes over me. I was like, oh my,

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I've never had a man who doted over me before and so I am, it's my perception of what's happening

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that's robbing me of an experience that I never had before. Now I'm not talking about a man you

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just met that keep grabbing your hand. Like that's out of order. I'm not saying that. We've been

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dating for some months now and so there's an establishment with even him holding my arm or

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hand because of the situation but it's not a new person so let's clear that up later. I'm not

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talking about somebody you just met keep grabbing your hand that's inappropriate but we have an

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established relationship here. And so when she said that, back to what I said, I was robbing

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myself of an experience that I never had before because my first husband definitely didn't do

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that. He was very much an avoidant and didn't like to be touched and so I'm affectionate.

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So then I saw it again, one of the posts in the community was like, hey,

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I don't know if the person who posted it is on here because I can't remember who posted it but

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it was so much like my own experience. They was like, well, he kept asking me how was the date

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when we were together and I think that was one of the things that she was a little agitated by it

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she was a little agitated by. Let me look because they were really good agitations

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and I could understand why if you haven't but these are very common things that a person

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maybe if they haven't dated in a while could think is an agitation.

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Give me a second.

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Oh, the guy walks ahead of her. So she's I'm really agitated that when we're out he's walking

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ahead of me and then he was telling her that he couldn't understand some concepts at Sunday school

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now and that he kept asking how the date was going. And so I don't know how many of you ladies

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have been with me before every man I've ever been on a date with. My husband have always walked

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ahead of me and I have to say, could you slow down please? Who has that experience with a man

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before they walk off in front of you? Now, if a man is taller than you, his stride is longer than

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yours. He's going to naturally walk in front of you. He will have to really pace himself and be

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thinking to slow down but it's very common for a man to walk ahead of a woman. Every woman I know

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has complained about their husband walking ahead of them. And so this can be a common thing but if

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you haven't been on a date in a very long time, you may think this is an agitation when you can

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actually use your voice and say, hey, you're walking kind of fast. I ain't gonna keep up with

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you. So if you want to walk side by side, I encourage you to slow down. I have to say this

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to my friend all the time. It's like you walk too fast. You're gonna have to slow down. You know,

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every time he's like, oh, I walk too fast. Oh, I need to slow down. That's another thing. Or

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the second thing I said, which was a really, oh, the fact that he keeps sharing about maybe his,

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what he didn't agree with maybe. Not in a negative way but like, hey, I don't really get that

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concept. And the thing about that is, it's actually, the flip side is that he actually

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feels safe enough to share his thoughts. He doesn't feel like you're going to judge him.

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And so sometimes early on, we can have a tendency to shut a man down. And when you shut them down,

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you probably won't get them to open back up. And so ladies, we have to be very mindful of that.

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relationships or getting to know a person. You're dating for discovery but this still is a real

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thing. You can shut a person down and they won't open back up in that area anymore and you can get

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wounds caused very early on in getting to know a person and then you'd have to deal with the

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results of it if this was just fear made five years down the road. You got to dig back through

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to the first time you did something you didn't even know that you were doing just because of

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perception. And so I just wanted to share that with you all and I want you guys to be mindful

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of perception and remember that nobody is your twin. No one is an extension of you. They don't

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think like you. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. It's one of the greatest books I ever

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read but men and women are totally different and we think different. And when we get out there on

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the dating scene we have to always remind ourselves that this person is not an extension of me.

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They should not be an extension of me. They should not think like me, act like me, talk like me

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because they are an individual. They're an individual. They're no different from your

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brother or your sister or your cousin or your uncle. All of them have a different mindset than

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you. They think different than you. You could definitely have some things that you agree

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upon if you have friends but even your friends are different than you. Right? Like people aren't

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you know identical so let's just be mindful of perception. Natalie do you want to add something?

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Yeah I mean it's kind of along the lines actually of what you're sharing which is good.

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I know we've discussed this before about difference in spirituality and how we approach

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spirituality differently. You know even though I know we were kind of joking about

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the love bomber guy I dated the one thing I did appreciate about him was how much we really did

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have in common and a lot of my friends are like oh my gosh he's like the male version of you

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but I also liked how Jackie's like you do not want to be with someone who's like you. You know you

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need to have somebody you know who's going to ground you or be the opposite like if you were

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on an island trying to survive you want someone who's going to think differently. So for example

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now that this new guy I'm dating he couldn't be more opposite than the than the previous guy. I

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he couldn't be more opposite than the than the previous guy. I was so happy that like he's very

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respectful of my space. He's not over the top you know. It's kind of funny because his name is Joe

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so he's kind of like your average Joe if you will but he is Catholic you know and I'm a very

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spirit-filled charismatic Christian. Yes you are yes you are.

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So our church but but here's what's cool our church had a big baptism called baptized

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California and now we're getting ready to do baptize America soon so you guys might hear about

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it and we baptized over 7,000 people on Saturday. Yes at Huntington Beach in California

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and I'm just I'm so excited to share this with all of you because it is going to be coming to

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every single state and we're going to get everyone involved. So anyway having said that I invited him

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and he and he and he said yes and he came with me to baptize you know California and then I just

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said hey by the way I'm serving at church tomorrow would you like to come to my church and he came

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to with me to service. So even though he wasn't raising his hands and having a come to Jesus

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moment I was really grateful that he was supportive and that he was there he wasn't trying to people

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please he wasn't trying to be on you know he has this very calm quiet strength within himself.

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He serves every Saturday as an usher at his church and he's kind of figuring things out

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and you know I'll just share when appropriate when things come up I'll just kind of share an

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idea or whatever and he seems to be very open and I'm I'm grateful for that but I guess I was just

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having a little bit of concern it's really difficult for me and I know we've talked about

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this and that's what we're talking about it now it's hard for me not to think down the line it's

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hard for me not to think 10 steps ahead you know and there were a couple moments where it just felt

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easier to cut loose and I'm like nope nope give him three chances this is a good guy this is a

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good guy you know so we had another wonderful conversation today and he's been very consistent

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you know I had a very stressful week he said no problem Natalie I'm not going anywhere

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if you want to talk I'll be available tonight we can reschedule for next week it's not a

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problem, you know, and I feel really comfortable with him. We

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had our first date on Friday, we had sushi together, it was a

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four hour date. So after Yeah, because after dinner, he's like,

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I really don't want this time to end. I'd really like us, you

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know, to go someplace to talk more. And we did. And we had so

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much fun. You know, and I felt so protected when we were

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navigating through on the beach through the crowds. And he was

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just mindful of the surroundings. And I just felt

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safe. So he's a nice guy. You know, he's six feet tall, he's

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built, you know, he works out, I'm proud of him for that. I'm

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not like terribly attracted to him, but I'm okay with that. And

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he seems to be very respectful. And I kind of used your tactic

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to Ebony because at one point, he's just like, Hey, baby, and I

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said, excuse me. And he just started laughing. He goes, I

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mean, Natalie, I'm like, yes. And he just kind of like felt

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embarrassed. And he caught himself. And he goes, you don't

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like that. And I said, No, we're still getting to know each

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other, you know, and that kind of thing. And he's like, okay,

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and he's never said it since. So every time he calls me Hi,

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Natalie. I'm like, Hi, Joey. You know, so

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this awesome, Natalie, this is so much fun. Yeah, this is

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awesome. Um, yeah, we are all different. We have to give, give

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space for that. We really, really do. I've heard so many

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stories of men and women of God that are powerful now that were

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totally different. Like one was our spirit. The other one was

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our word, but they needed each other to come together. And

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there are so many, it's too many for me to count. I too had to be

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like Natalie, I told her maybe one of our conversations, I was

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a very like, I need you to be you be in your prayer life, you

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have to be this you go out the bed, everything. I need you to

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be like me. And that's not, that's not a real, that's not a

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real thing. That's not a real thing. Now you definitely I

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mean, there's gonna have to be some level, but you're not gonna

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be me. I'm not looking for me anymore. I know that marriage is

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God's maturity planning. He puts two people together to empower

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and help each other grow. And I'm not gonna get somebody that

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I have to grow up. I can't grow somebody up. But there's gonna

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have to be some level of, you know, some level ground level

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that's compatible. But anyway, so what do you have on your

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mind tonight, ladies? Go for it. Okay, Stephanie. Okay,

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Stephanie, go for it.

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Stephanie Davis.

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Good night, everyone. I have a question. So I've been talking

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to this guy on Facebook. And so he's been he works a lot. And I

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don't want to, you know, because he always said no. And I mean,

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so yes, until I said no, sorry. But he works a lot. And every

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time we try to schedule to talk on the phone, he he's always

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working. I've never met anybody busier than me, because I think

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I'm thinking I'm always busy, but he's always busy. And I'm

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like, Okay, I didn't respond because he was like, Can we talk

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tonight? I didn't respond because every time we make a

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time to talk, he would like, Oh, I forgot because I have to work

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late. I had to finish a project. So then I'm like, you're not

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gonna find time to get to know me. Am I being wrong here? Or?

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No, you can basically How long has this been going on?

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For like two weeks?

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Yeah, just go ahead. It may be a good idea to go ahead and let

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him know that you recognize that this is not the space in his

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life, to get to know new individuals and you, you

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understand, and you decline getting to know him any further.

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Oh, look at God. Thank you.

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We have to be able to recognize when a person doesn't have the

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capacity. It doesn't matter what they say you you recognize that

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this is this is not working. Yeah. Go ahead, Karen. Connor.

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Okay. So I have not had any date yet. I've been on the Facebook

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dating app now for maybe a month, maybe three weeks. Um, I

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get the the guys that don't have their shirts on and just and

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like every one of them is holding a fish or a deer head.

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and a cowboy hat and you know baseball caps and just like I'm just not getting any like

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very very very few likes and then the couple of like on on one of them I think I'm on like

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silver singles or something and I'm I'm in communication with one guy that's maybe in

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San Antonio which is like 80 miles from here and the only reason I gave him like a heart

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was because like he scored like 176 and and all of the other scores are like 80s and 90s

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and you know and I thought well I like what make like I just wanted to get to know him

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some like what makes our our our what number so high of matching and so having conversations

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with him is really painful like just like just trying to pull every single thing out

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like nothing's flowing and and then one of the last conversations was hey well it wasn't

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even hey it was um um not not doing don't have much going on um I might be up in Austin

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next weekend for my nephew's baseball game and then that was it and then no more communication

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and and so you know I is it so then am I supposed to like bring up the conversation like oh

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like you know give me a call or let's go to coffee I don't really think I want to but you

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know it just feels like I I'm putting forth all like I have to do make all the effort and it's

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kind of been my experience on both dating apps and that's a lot of work and I'm just wondering

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if that's just the norm right that is a lot of work and no that's not the norm and so if you

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don't feel like he's worth putting in any more work so when I say worth it yeah it will seem

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like he's not interested because anyway if you want to go on a date and he's not that bad you

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just you know don't feel like you can drop the hanky and say hey you want to meet up for a cup

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of coffee you can do that but if you don't want to do that you decided he don't look good enough

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he's not interested enough I'm not about to stretch myself or extend myself any further just

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for a date then don't do it sometimes there are those guys that you've been putting a little more

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work but you want a cup of coffee date you like I want to make this date happen let me see if I

399
00:37:47.920 --> 00:37:54.360
could just make a date happen yeah that's that's how I was about certain being like oh you look

400
00:37:54.360 --> 00:37:58.240
pretty good let me just see oh you know some people you feel a little know it should go a

401
00:37:58.240 --> 00:38:04.640
little bit further one last time right and I thought and I was wondering is it okay to wait

402
00:38:04.640 --> 00:38:12.360
for that little nudge because I feel like I'm just like like I don't I don't want to just throw

403
00:38:12.360 --> 00:38:18.760
myself out there to everybody you know and then and then hope the nudge like I don't know happens

404
00:38:18.760 --> 00:38:24.680
later or something you know I want there to be a little something something how long have you

405
00:38:24.680 --> 00:38:32.080
been talking to this guy well a couple a few weeks now but I've already blessed him and blocked him

406
00:38:32.080 --> 00:38:42.720
just because you know like I think I did I did respond but then I didn't hear back from him or

407
00:38:42.920 --> 00:38:50.080
over a week and I just thought you know I'm not I'm not gonna just you know just keep waiting

408
00:38:50.080 --> 00:38:59.400
around you know I would like them to be a little bit assertive you know and engaging you know

409
00:38:59.400 --> 00:39:04.120
are you saying out of the two weeks the first week you liked him back you sent a message and

410
00:39:04.120 --> 00:39:11.880
he didn't respond for a week no he responded right away you know at first we you know we had some

411
00:39:11.880 --> 00:39:21.040
dialogue going you know a couple times a day you know for a week or two and then and then it was

412
00:39:21.040 --> 00:39:28.160
you know the weather's nice there they all of you go ahead but let me I have to make sure I'm

413
00:39:28.160 --> 00:39:33.760
tracking with you okay so you say you've only talked on for two weeks but within the two weeks

414
00:39:33.760 --> 00:39:39.760
you talk to him a couple times a day no it would be one time it would be no it'd be like every

415
00:39:39.760 --> 00:39:48.000
other night just a sentence like how was your day do you have any plans for the weekends nothing

416
00:39:48.000 --> 00:39:56.840
nothing more than that like so he was responding he was responding yeah okay he was responding

417
00:39:56.840 --> 00:40:00.000
okay so let's make

418
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:05.840
track then. Okay, these are two, I have two different, so it's two different stories that's

419
00:40:05.840 --> 00:40:10.320
happening now. Okay. So the problem was he didn't know how to make good conversation.

420
00:40:10.320 --> 00:40:15.600
Correct. Okay. And so when you got to the end of the first week or even after the third day,

421
00:40:15.600 --> 00:40:18.640
it would have been a really good time for you to just go ahead and say, Hey, like,

422
00:40:18.640 --> 00:40:22.240
would you like to grab a cup of coffee and get to know each other better? Yeah. Okay.

423
00:40:23.360 --> 00:40:26.960
So the reason why I want to go back and kind of coach into that way for you,

424
00:40:26.960 --> 00:40:32.640
because this can have, it's going to happen again. Some men are just not good conversationalists

425
00:40:32.640 --> 00:40:39.040
over, over messaging. They're just not good conversationalists. Right. So I would not say

426
00:40:39.040 --> 00:40:44.000
like, Oh, he's not putting in an effort. That may have been the best effort he had.

427
00:40:44.000 --> 00:40:51.440
I thought he wasn't responding to you at all. No, he, he wasn't. He, he, he, we were responding to

428
00:40:51.440 --> 00:40:56.400
each other until like the last week when he said, you know, I'm going to be up in Austin,

429
00:40:56.400 --> 00:41:02.000
you know, possibly this weekend. And then didn't say, you know, like, would you like to grab a

430
00:41:02.000 --> 00:41:07.280
coffee? And I didn't say, would you like to grab a coffee? I just didn't hear back from him again.

431
00:41:08.320 --> 00:41:13.040
Right. And so maybe he was saying that in hopes that you would kind of bite the,

432
00:41:13.040 --> 00:41:17.680
bite it in and say, would you like to get together? Maybe he's nervous about talking

433
00:41:17.680 --> 00:41:22.480
you next to God, but two weeks are too long. And so what I want to encourage you to do is

434
00:41:22.480 --> 00:41:27.040
the next time you talk to somebody, cause some, you will get another hit. Right. It's not likely.

435
00:41:27.040 --> 00:41:33.040
It's not going to happen. Um, by the third day you can ask for it, but end of the week,

436
00:41:33.040 --> 00:41:40.320
you need to be zoom messaging or getting on a date. Okay. Okay. That, that, so there was a drug

437
00:41:40.320 --> 00:41:46.080
out of ribbit long and I, I can see how you process that, but he may have processed the same

438
00:41:46.080 --> 00:41:51.920
thing. Men struggle with conversation and they can even struggle with conversation over zoom as well.

439
00:41:52.720 --> 00:42:01.280
And so, yeah, but all right. We'll be ready for the next one. Well, okay. So I've got one more

440
00:42:01.280 --> 00:42:09.200
on the line and he asked how we mutual friends on Facebook. And it took me a couple of days to

441
00:42:09.200 --> 00:42:16.080
respond because I was head over, I was buried underneath my garage sale stuff. So I did respond,

442
00:42:16.080 --> 00:42:21.200
you know, then, and I said, I'm sorry for the delay. You know, I was buried under, you know,

443
00:42:21.920 --> 00:42:27.440
work in this garage sale stuff. And I have not heard anything back and it's been it. Well,

444
00:42:27.440 --> 00:42:35.360
today's what day, Tuesday, that was on Saturday. So, you know, so I just think, you know,

445
00:42:36.400 --> 00:42:42.480
I don't know what's normal. Like, I don't know how long did it take you to respond to him?

446
00:42:43.440 --> 00:42:54.880
Uh, probably three days. Okay. Well, okay. You know, that's what I'm wondering, but then I did

447
00:42:54.880 --> 00:43:02.400
give my explanation, you know, I did, I did say, you know, um, and cause I'm not going to just,

448
00:43:02.400 --> 00:43:07.200
I'm not going to ghost people. I'm not going to just, you know, let them sit there and,

449
00:43:07.200 --> 00:43:13.840
and, um, you know, just hang, but I really didn't like, I didn't, I wasn't even thinking

450
00:43:13.840 --> 00:43:20.240
a Facebook marketplace, you know, or Facebook dating at the time it was like, and, and, you

451
00:43:20.240 --> 00:43:26.240
know, that's probably on me. Well, it's okay. Like the thoughts could be, there's a lot of

452
00:43:26.240 --> 00:43:29.600
couple of thoughts that I have, but the thought could be, he could have not looked back on the app

453
00:43:30.240 --> 00:43:34.880
or he could have been talking to somebody else at the same time too. He saw that you responded,

454
00:43:34.880 --> 00:43:39.600
but maybe he's trying to see what's happening over on this side of town with this other person

455
00:43:39.600 --> 00:43:45.680
who knows he may respond back. He may not respond back, but you can just deal with it when he does

456
00:43:45.680 --> 00:43:51.440
respond back. Okay. You know, I don't want to say respond back. That is like a double something.

457
00:43:51.440 --> 00:43:58.240
You're not supposed to say they taught us in school when he does respond. But, um, and if

458
00:43:58.240 --> 00:44:02.400
he's in the area, you may just want to quickly grab a cup of coffee. Right. Let's get you on a

459
00:44:02.400 --> 00:44:09.280
date. Yeah. Okay. All right. All right. Thank you. You're welcome. Um,

460
00:44:15.920 --> 00:44:25.360
I don't know how that, okay. Um, iPhone, tell me what your name is. Iphone. Is it Felicia?

461
00:44:25.920 --> 00:44:34.000
Felicia go for it. Yeah. I did change my beautiful picture on zoom, but I guess it changes again.

462
00:44:34.640 --> 00:44:41.920
Anyway. Hi ladies. One of the things that I want some help with is to start getting on the app.

463
00:44:42.960 --> 00:44:49.920
And I think because I haven't really sit down and made myself ready to do it, but I need to

464
00:44:50.880 --> 00:44:57.920
to put my profile together and I know I can do it, but I just kind of want an idea how to put it,

465
00:44:58.880 --> 00:44:59.840
you know,

466
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:06.560
start to get it together. Someone I kind of I don't know who it was I have to

467
00:45:06.560 --> 00:45:11.720
look back through there but I kind of posted a little sentence stem you know I

468
00:45:11.720 --> 00:45:15.080
wrote a sentence until you put your information here I wrote a sentence that

469
00:45:15.080 --> 00:45:19.040
you put your information here put your information there. Was that anybody?

470
00:45:19.040 --> 00:45:24.920
It was you Stephanie. Do you have it? Can you repost that for Felicia? Felicia

471
00:45:24.920 --> 00:45:28.720
check out the community wall and she'll have a I want to call it like a little

472
00:45:28.720 --> 00:45:33.440
dummy profile. Use that to get started and just put plug your information in. I

473
00:45:33.440 --> 00:45:38.800
find that to be always easier to do and then once you finish it post it let us

474
00:45:38.800 --> 00:45:42.120
take a look at it and post the pictures that you're gonna put on there and let

475
00:45:42.120 --> 00:45:45.800
us take a look at it as well if you don't mind we'd like to look at and kind

476
00:45:45.800 --> 00:45:51.560
of give some feedback to help you out with it. Okay. And then one fun thing I do

477
00:45:51.560 --> 00:45:56.000
I don't know if any of you ladies like to do this but I think it's fun. I will

478
00:45:56.000 --> 00:46:00.880
give my phone to my sister and let her pick the people that I talk to instead

479
00:46:00.880 --> 00:46:04.680
of me because she knows me very well so if you got some friends that know you

480
00:46:04.680 --> 00:46:10.160
let them pick some people for you and stop doing all the picking. We can be

481
00:46:10.160 --> 00:46:14.600
very picky, pick over stuff but people can see outside and be like this be a

482
00:46:14.600 --> 00:46:18.200
great person for you to get to know. You wouldn't necessarily pick them but let

483
00:46:18.200 --> 00:46:22.200
somebody else scroll for you. That was one way I got over my nervousness too. I

484
00:46:22.240 --> 00:46:25.880
would just hand her the phone. She would literally sometimes talk to people for

485
00:46:25.880 --> 00:46:29.640
me and so like guys that I wouldn't go after because I thought they were just

486
00:46:29.640 --> 00:46:33.400
like oh they wouldn't be interested in me she'll pick them and they'll talk and

487
00:46:33.400 --> 00:46:36.720
she'll start the conversation for me because I was just so nervous early on.

488
00:46:36.720 --> 00:46:41.800
She knew me very well. She wouldn't say anything I wouldn't say she know who I

489
00:46:41.800 --> 00:46:46.080
am as a woman and so I'm just telling you like it's really fun to do that in

490
00:46:46.080 --> 00:46:51.680
community so you know if you got anybody around you like that let them scroll for

491
00:46:51.680 --> 00:47:01.040
you pick some people for you. Cool. Thank you. Thank you. Oh yeah of course. Hey Laura

492
00:47:01.040 --> 00:47:10.880
go for it. Yes I just wanted to make a comment about we were talking the other

493
00:47:10.880 --> 00:47:16.560
week about the guy that worked a lot of hours and we kept on passing each other

494
00:47:16.560 --> 00:47:22.080
could never connect and he was texting me when I was on this call and I texted

495
00:47:22.080 --> 00:47:28.040
him and said I'd be done at 7 and so I expected he'd call me you know at 701 or

496
00:47:28.040 --> 00:47:33.360
something and he didn't so by 730 I decided I would call him instead of just

497
00:47:33.360 --> 00:47:39.840
text and we'd never voice talked before so I called him and this man said he

498
00:47:39.840 --> 00:47:46.000
spoke English and German and when I called him he picked up the phone and he

499
00:47:46.000 --> 00:47:53.000
was clearly Hispanic and I said oh hi can we talk and he's like no I have to

500
00:47:53.000 --> 00:47:57.640
go make my dinner now and we've been talking for two weeks trying to connect

501
00:47:57.640 --> 00:48:04.120
with each other and all that and then I said well how long will that take and it

502
00:48:04.120 --> 00:48:09.720
was about 15 minutes and I'm like okay well I waited like 45 minutes and he

503
00:48:09.720 --> 00:48:21.720
never called me back and then he you know I just left the thing open for another week and he didn't talk to me again so I was clearly a spammer of some sort.

504
00:48:21.720 --> 00:48:27.720
Hey Laura something happened with your voice. I don't know did y'all hear that or was it on my side?

505
00:48:27.720 --> 00:48:37.720
Something started muffling out. I have a throat issue. Okay here you go. You're back. You said now what did you say?

506
00:48:38.720 --> 00:48:40.720
What was the last thing you heard?

507
00:48:40.720 --> 00:48:47.720
Last thing you said was he said the cook he never called you back and then you just and that was it.

508
00:48:47.720 --> 00:48:55.720
Okay so I left the conversation open I didn't block him or anything for another week and he never responded back to me.

509
00:48:55.720 --> 00:49:06.720
So I'm thinking he was a scammer and the fact that he spoke Spanish when he put in his profile English and German and had a German profile and all this

510
00:49:06.720 --> 00:49:13.720
and his excuse for nipping me on and off and on and on and off was just he worked a lot which wasn't a big

511
00:49:13.720 --> 00:49:21.720
point for me because my husband was a workaholic and then also about being the unequally yoked thing.

512
00:49:21.720 --> 00:49:28.720
I was unequally yoked to a non-believer for 36 years so please don't anybody go there. Just don't go there.

513
00:49:29.720 --> 00:49:34.720
So anyways.

514
00:49:34.720 --> 00:49:43.720
Yeah I'm glad that you let that rip. You did a good job with that Laura. You were patient through the process as well.

515
00:49:43.720 --> 00:49:50.720
I want to encourage you guys just based on what Laura said one week hear their voice set up something.

516
00:49:50.720 --> 00:49:59.720
It's just nobody's that busy they want to get to know you but the texting for longer than a week.

517
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.760
a week and you haven't talked to a person and heard their voice,

518
00:50:03.960 --> 00:50:07.760
I don't feel safe with that because I don't know what your background is like.

519
00:50:07.760 --> 00:50:11.360
I don't know where you you know, I don't know what you have going on in your world.

520
00:50:11.560 --> 00:50:16.080
And just two weeks of texting is not the best route to go.

521
00:50:16.280 --> 00:50:20.880
You this is the the the the the rule that, you know,

522
00:50:21.080 --> 00:50:25.160
Jackie said in place and for good reasons at the end of a week.

523
00:50:25.360 --> 00:50:29.120
The rule is you need a date or Zoom call,

524
00:50:29.120 --> 00:50:33.600
but you definitely would have need to hear their voice by then.

525
00:50:33.800 --> 00:50:39.480
But a date or Zoom date, you need to see them.

526
00:50:39.680 --> 00:50:41.840
Should not be talking to someone that you

527
00:50:42.040 --> 00:50:44.760
have not seen in a week unless they're long distance.

528
00:50:44.960 --> 00:50:50.080
But you need to have talk on the phone to them.

529
00:50:51.960 --> 00:50:54.200
You got you know, you don't want to give your number,

530
00:50:54.400 --> 00:50:57.480
you got to find a way to get over there, whether you use Messenger,

531
00:50:57.520 --> 00:51:01.680
Facebook Messenger, whether you use a Google number.

532
00:51:01.880 --> 00:51:04.400
But you're going to have to get on the phone with these people and you're going

533
00:51:04.600 --> 00:51:08.800
to have to talk because another thing happens when you're only texting.

534
00:51:09.000 --> 00:51:12.240
You create in your mind who this person is.

535
00:51:12.440 --> 00:51:13.560
You don't have a choice.

536
00:51:13.760 --> 00:51:15.240
You don't have a face to assign them.

537
00:51:15.240 --> 00:51:16.840
You don't have a voice to assign them to.

538
00:51:17.040 --> 00:51:18.520
And so no matter what they say,

539
00:51:18.720 --> 00:51:21.960
you're going to hear it in the voice that you want to hear it in.

540
00:51:22.160 --> 00:51:23.520
Right.

541
00:51:23.720 --> 00:51:26.840
A large part of when we communicate,

542
00:51:27.040 --> 00:51:31.600
our body expression speaks more than our words.

543
00:51:33.320 --> 00:51:36.240
Facial expression does more talking than our words.

544
00:51:36.440 --> 00:51:37.320
Right.

545
00:51:37.520 --> 00:51:40.120
So when you see somebody text you, good morning, you're going to think,

546
00:51:40.320 --> 00:51:43.920
oh, good morning, then you could be like, good morning.

547
00:51:44.120 --> 00:51:46.560
You don't know what they sound like when they say good morning,

548
00:51:46.760 --> 00:51:49.760
but you're going to hear, good morning.

549
00:51:49.960 --> 00:51:51.680
Or when you see busy right now,

550
00:51:51.880 --> 00:51:54.400
call you back, they could be like, leave me alone, I'm busy.

551
00:51:54.600 --> 00:51:57.560
That's what they could be expressing.

552
00:51:57.760 --> 00:52:01.680
But what you're going to say, oh, he takes back and say he was busy right now.

553
00:52:01.880 --> 00:52:04.720
He'll follow up with me.

554
00:52:05.560 --> 00:52:08.200
Right. So and the thing about it is

555
00:52:08.400 --> 00:52:13.240
sometimes when you go into the second week, you're going to lose interest.

556
00:52:13.440 --> 00:52:16.400
You could possibly just all of a sudden lose interest.

557
00:52:16.600 --> 00:52:17.400
That has happened to me.

558
00:52:17.600 --> 00:52:21.560
So, well, first of all, I don't take nobody that long.

559
00:52:21.800 --> 00:52:25.080
But I am I will lose interest if I'm

560
00:52:25.280 --> 00:52:28.360
talking and we hadn't set up how we're going to meet or I do.

561
00:52:28.560 --> 00:52:31.560
I do FaceTime immediately, immediately.

562
00:52:31.760 --> 00:52:35.680
It bothers me to talk to people that I don't know how they look.

563
00:52:35.880 --> 00:52:38.360
That's just one thing with me.

564
00:52:38.560 --> 00:52:40.600
When I first started with the dating apps,

565
00:52:40.800 --> 00:52:44.560
I was a little nervous about giving them a number of things of such

566
00:52:44.760 --> 00:52:49.680
sorts, and that's completely normal my way is not your way.

567
00:52:49.880 --> 00:52:52.840
But the best way is by the end of the week,

568
00:52:53.040 --> 00:52:57.600
you have a date or Zoom date where you see them.

569
00:52:57.800 --> 00:53:01.640
You need to see the person that you're talking to.

570
00:53:02.280 --> 00:53:03.760
And if you're you know,

571
00:53:03.760 --> 00:53:06.280
and then you want to be mindful of yourself, if you're OK,

572
00:53:06.280 --> 00:53:09.120
which is keep on because you're so nervous to show yourself to.

573
00:53:09.320 --> 00:53:10.880
That's a real thing, y'all.

574
00:53:11.080 --> 00:53:12.960
I know it is.

575
00:53:13.160 --> 00:53:15.760
But we're going to get past that.

576
00:53:15.960 --> 00:53:18.920
And we're going to push ourselves.

577
00:53:19.880 --> 00:53:23.480
OK, anybody else?

578
00:53:23.680 --> 00:53:25.680
This doesn't have to be about dating.

579
00:53:25.680 --> 00:53:27.400
Those of you, it's your first time here.

580
00:53:27.600 --> 00:53:30.400
This is not this is your world.

581
00:53:30.600 --> 00:53:36.400
When you came out of hard work and I see you, Felicia, when we.

582
00:53:36.600 --> 00:53:42.880
This phase is phase two, it's about is it's about dating, but it's about you.

583
00:53:43.080 --> 00:53:46.320
You're building capacity for marriage.

584
00:53:46.520 --> 00:53:51.240
Marriage requires capacity in lots of it.

585
00:53:51.440 --> 00:53:55.920
In every interaction you get with people, builds capacity.

586
00:53:56.120 --> 00:53:59.360
Every time you get to set a boundary, you're building capacity.

587
00:53:59.560 --> 00:54:01.240
Every time you get to establish your worth

588
00:54:01.440 --> 00:54:05.080
within yourself and let it be known, you're building capacity.

589
00:54:05.280 --> 00:54:09.680
Every time you have uncomfortable conversations, you're building capacity.

590
00:54:09.880 --> 00:54:12.160
Every time you stand up to fear and let

591
00:54:12.160 --> 00:54:17.440
bravery or courage come forth, you're building capacity.

592
00:54:17.640 --> 00:54:19.600
You need capacity.

593
00:54:19.800 --> 00:54:23.840
Every time you forgive someone and show grace, you're building capacity.

594
00:54:24.040 --> 00:54:26.720
Every time you say, no, my value is better than this.

595
00:54:26.720 --> 00:54:27.800
I'm not going to continue this.

596
00:54:28.000 --> 00:54:32.560
Every time you exchange the good for the great, you're building capacity.

597
00:54:32.760 --> 00:54:38.280
Every time you pass up, they are right for the unknown, you're building capacity.

598
00:54:38.520 --> 00:54:40.760
This is all about building capacity,

599
00:54:40.960 --> 00:54:44.720
not finding your husband, because God is writing your love story.

600
00:54:44.840 --> 00:54:46.640
And if you're on these apps and every time

601
00:54:46.640 --> 00:54:48.880
you click it on a man, you think, well, he could be the one.

602
00:54:49.080 --> 00:54:50.520
Is he the one? He might be the one.

603
00:54:50.720 --> 00:54:53.400
I don't know that I'm not going to let you know.

604
00:54:53.400 --> 00:54:55.200
Every time all these thoughts are rushing

605
00:54:55.200 --> 00:54:59.080
through your mind, you have to remind yourself, I am dating for discovery.

606
00:54:59.280 --> 00:55:00.000
I made it.

607
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:07.720
through phase two by reminding myself and this journey that I'm dating for discovery.

608
00:55:07.720 --> 00:55:14.320
I am not dating for a mate. If you get stuck there, trust me, you will not be picking anyone

609
00:55:14.320 --> 00:55:18.680
or you're going to be bamboozled by the first one because you're going to live in a mindset

610
00:55:18.680 --> 00:55:25.080
of scarcity and nothing gets you more jacked up than a scarcity mindset. A scarcity mindset

611
00:55:25.080 --> 00:55:32.080
will make you hold on to what's not the best. Right? It's not the best, but you think ain't

612
00:55:32.080 --> 00:55:36.040
nothing else coming because you've been so picky. You've been so choosy. You won't give

613
00:55:36.040 --> 00:55:48.000
anybody a chance because they got to be Jesus in the flesh. Okay. We cannot do that. We

614
00:55:48.000 --> 00:55:53.600
want to date people who are dateable. I want to grab a cup of coffee with somebody who

615
00:55:53.600 --> 00:56:01.360
seem like they can hold a good conversation. They ain't got to preach, teach. I want a

616
00:56:01.360 --> 00:56:08.600
date. You need a date. Why? Because you get to discover yourself. You get to discover

617
00:56:08.600 --> 00:56:13.560
that when he says make some type of sexual innuendo that you say, Hey, I'm not comfortable

618
00:56:13.560 --> 00:56:20.020
with that comment. Don't make it anymore. That is the hard thing for a woman to do.

619
00:56:20.020 --> 00:56:25.060
We have been designed and cultivated by our culture to allow things to be said to us and

620
00:56:25.060 --> 00:56:31.260
allow things to happen and know that you get to practice knowing that, Hey, I get to be

621
00:56:31.260 --> 00:56:37.140
me and I'll show up just like me, full of grace, full of kindness. You get to practice

622
00:56:37.140 --> 00:56:41.820
your femininity. If you've been single for a while, you've been pushed or forced to operate

623
00:56:41.820 --> 00:56:46.100
in a masculine role to take care of yourself, provide for yourself, do for yourself, take

624
00:56:46.100 --> 00:56:49.660
out your trash, do everything around your house for yourself, fix for yourself. And

625
00:56:49.700 --> 00:56:52.900
when you get a husband, they're going to move into the masculine role. You're going to come

626
00:56:52.900 --> 00:57:02.620
into the feminine role. And that is a process. It's not going to just happen. You don't want

627
00:57:02.620 --> 00:57:10.180
no sermon on day. We can't be preaching no sermon on date. No. So starting the dating

628
00:57:10.180 --> 00:57:14.940
process is supposed to be nervous. It's something you've never done before. You ladies don't

629
00:57:14.940 --> 00:57:20.300
feel strange because you're nervous. And I'm glad you're saying it, but I want to tell

630
00:57:20.300 --> 00:57:25.020
you that you're supposed to feel nervous about putting your profile out on the worldwide

631
00:57:25.020 --> 00:57:31.100
web. I used to be thinking somebody from where I'm from going to see it. And I'll be like,

632
00:57:31.100 --> 00:57:39.820
golly, I don't even want them to know. But it's just supposed to be this nervous journey.

633
00:57:39.820 --> 00:57:49.020
Not one single lady on this platform has not been nervous about it. It's just the way it is.

634
00:57:49.020 --> 00:57:54.300
And that's the joy of it. That you get to do something that you were nervous about doing it.

635
00:57:54.300 --> 00:58:00.700
That you get to stand up to fear and let courage come forth and say, oh, I know what's knocking

636
00:58:00.700 --> 00:58:07.220
at my door. Fear is knocking, but really courage wants to birth. It wants to come forth. Thanks

637
00:58:07.220 --> 00:58:18.580
for the challenge. Okay. Y'all hands came up. And so I know Shirai has been waiting a while to

638
00:58:18.580 --> 00:58:24.060
share, and she has a little backstory to her story. So Kelly and Allison, I don't know when

639
00:58:24.060 --> 00:58:31.780
y'all hand came up. So you, I'm told you go Shirai and then Kelly and Allison, I'm going to pick up

640
00:58:31.780 --> 00:58:47.780
with you all to X from somewhere. I think Shirai. Yes. Okay. Go for it. Okay. Actually, my question

641
00:58:47.780 --> 00:58:57.340
just kind of blew up in my face just now. Okay. Okay. So I met a guy on Facebook dating, which

642
00:58:57.340 --> 00:59:04.220
you already know. And I was, and we had been on three dates. The last time I talked to you or,

643
00:59:04.620 --> 00:59:09.940
because I, then it was a picnic. That was the last time we went. That's the last, that was the

644
00:59:09.940 --> 00:59:16.820
last date we went on. And it was really nice and everything like that. And then the last time we

645
00:59:16.820 --> 00:59:22.500
met up is I texted him and asked him if he wanted to go to Costco with me. And he walked and we

646
00:59:22.500 --> 00:59:31.260
walked around Costco and I did my grocery shopping. And that was our last meeting. However,

647
00:59:31.260 --> 00:59:38.540
in that, during that, during this period of time, the, the, the last time we had, it was, we had a

648
00:59:38.540 --> 00:59:47.660
win on a movie date. And remember, and he, oh, yeah. Okay. So, and I ended up paying that, that

649
00:59:47.660 --> 00:59:53.620
time. And then he bought snacks, but whatever. Anyways. So the last few weeks, it's been like

650
00:59:53.780 --> 00:59:59.780
the last three interactions we've had, it's been initiated by me. Like the movie date,

651
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.000
and the picnic, and then we went to Costco.

652
01:00:03.000 --> 01:00:07.020
All of those connections happened because I initiated them.

653
01:00:07.980 --> 01:00:10.560
And so I kind of like started,

654
01:00:10.560 --> 01:00:12.280
I started kind of feeling like

655
01:00:12.280 --> 01:00:14.280
I was the one doing the initiating

656
01:00:14.280 --> 01:00:17.580
and I felt like I was not being pursued.

657
01:00:17.580 --> 01:00:20.080
And I, so I started backing off.

658
01:00:20.080 --> 01:00:21.640
Like I started just like,

659
01:00:22.620 --> 01:00:24.620
if he texts me, then I will respond,

660
01:00:24.620 --> 01:00:27.540
but I'm not gonna like keep, you know,

661
01:00:27.940 --> 01:00:30.300
keep on messaging him and getting like

662
01:00:30.300 --> 01:00:33.600
lackluster responses or whatever.

663
01:00:33.600 --> 01:00:38.600
So this morning I messaged him and I said,

664
01:00:38.600 --> 01:00:40.900
and then I told him that I felt like

665
01:00:40.900 --> 01:00:42.780
our communication had been off

666
01:00:44.100 --> 01:00:46.500
and that I just wanted to know,

667
01:00:46.500 --> 01:00:47.820
was he still interested?

668
01:00:47.820 --> 01:00:49.760
Did he still wanna get to know me?

669
01:00:49.760 --> 01:00:52.380
Like, where was he at, you know,

670
01:00:52.380 --> 01:00:55.540
because I didn't feel like we were communicating very well.

671
01:00:55.540 --> 01:01:00.140
And he proceeded to tell me that he felt like

672
01:01:00.140 --> 01:01:03.300
that I wanted him to chase me.

673
01:01:05.740 --> 01:01:10.180
And that he doesn't chase women and that,

674
01:01:12.060 --> 01:01:16.940
and so I went to Google

675
01:01:16.940 --> 01:01:20.600
cause I wanted to know what is chasing mean in dating?

676
01:01:21.580 --> 01:01:22.420
Right.

677
01:01:22.420 --> 01:01:24.980
So I asked Google and Google said that chasing

678
01:01:25.340 --> 01:01:28.780
is when somebody is excessively, you know,

679
01:01:28.780 --> 01:01:31.780
like pursuing you and there's no reciprocation.

680
01:01:32.620 --> 01:01:33.660
And I don't feel like,

681
01:01:33.660 --> 01:01:37.620
I feel like if anybody was excessively doing anything,

682
01:01:37.620 --> 01:01:38.540
it was me.

683
01:01:40.100 --> 01:01:41.220
Cause I didn't feel like,

684
01:01:41.220 --> 01:01:42.220
and I didn't feel like,

685
01:01:42.220 --> 01:01:44.180
cause I didn't feel like there was no reciprocation.

686
01:01:44.180 --> 01:01:46.580
He hadn't asked me out on a date

687
01:01:46.580 --> 01:01:49.060
since the first time he asked me out.

688
01:01:49.060 --> 01:01:50.500
All the other one, all the,

689
01:01:50.500 --> 01:01:52.460
all our other meetups were me.

690
01:01:53.180 --> 01:01:54.260
Hmm.

691
01:01:54.260 --> 01:01:57.260
And so like for him to say that I was,

692
01:01:57.260 --> 01:02:01.300
that he felt like I was chased, that he was chasing me.

693
01:02:01.300 --> 01:02:03.780
I didn't even feel like I was being pursued.

694
01:02:05.420 --> 01:02:09.100
And so, so then, so, so then I said, well,

695
01:02:09.100 --> 01:02:12.420
I feel like we're not getting really anywhere via text.

696
01:02:12.420 --> 01:02:13.620
So I, so I would,

697
01:02:13.620 --> 01:02:16.420
I think we need to have a conversation on the phone.

698
01:02:16.420 --> 01:02:19.020
So he actually called during our meeting.

699
01:02:19.020 --> 01:02:20.820
So that's why I kind of went quiet

700
01:02:21.740 --> 01:02:25.220
and I started, I had a conversation with him on the phone

701
01:02:25.220 --> 01:02:28.300
and he got upset.

702
01:02:28.300 --> 01:02:30.940
And now I know what, he says he's not upset,

703
01:02:30.940 --> 01:02:33.820
but he got upset because he saw me,

704
01:02:33.820 --> 01:02:37.060
saw my profile on another dating app.

705
01:02:39.340 --> 01:02:40.180
Oh.

706
01:02:41.820 --> 01:02:45.380
And because he had, he, cause he wasn't,

707
01:02:45.380 --> 01:02:47.940
cause he, he had backed off from me

708
01:02:47.940 --> 01:02:49.300
cause he wasn't talking to me,

709
01:02:49.300 --> 01:02:51.700
but he was on another dating app too.

710
01:02:51.700 --> 01:02:54.380
And he saw my profile and he, and so,

711
01:02:54.380 --> 01:02:57.940
because he said, he doesn't want to date a woman

712
01:02:57.940 --> 01:03:01.860
who has, who, who, who is like,

713
01:03:01.860 --> 01:03:03.340
has choices and everything,

714
01:03:03.340 --> 01:03:05.340
like who wants to play, have choices.

715
01:03:05.340 --> 01:03:09.420
And I said, you hadn't, you, we'd been on three dates.

716
01:03:09.420 --> 01:03:12.620
You hadn't said, I want to be exclusive with you

717
01:03:12.620 --> 01:03:13.740
or anything like that.

718
01:03:13.740 --> 01:03:15.660
So why should I just like,

719
01:03:16.660 --> 01:03:20.620
I put all my eggs in one basket and be like,

720
01:03:22.420 --> 01:03:25.780
I'm not, I'm, I'm exclusively dating you.

721
01:03:25.780 --> 01:03:28.420
You had, first of all, you didn't even say anything.

722
01:03:30.420 --> 01:03:33.620
And I'm supposed to be just like, okay,

723
01:03:33.620 --> 01:03:35.660
like I'm all yours.

724
01:03:35.660 --> 01:03:38.780
Like, and that's, and so anyway,

725
01:03:38.780 --> 01:03:42.100
the conversation basically ended just a few minutes ago

726
01:03:42.100 --> 01:03:44.940
with him, me wishing him luck and him wishing me luck.

727
01:03:45.060 --> 01:03:45.900
And that was it.

728
01:03:47.940 --> 01:03:49.620
And that was, honestly,

729
01:03:49.620 --> 01:03:52.260
I'm like on the verge of tears to be honest with you

730
01:03:52.260 --> 01:03:57.100
because I am terrified that I'm not like,

731
01:03:57.100 --> 01:03:59.740
that I'm, because that's the first time I've ever

732
01:03:59.740 --> 01:04:03.980
like stood up for myself with a man and said,

733
01:04:03.980 --> 01:04:06.860
no, it's okay that I'm dating other people

734
01:04:06.860 --> 01:04:10.540
or that I'm, that doesn't make me some type of floozy

735
01:04:10.540 --> 01:04:13.300
just because I'm like, you didn't,

736
01:04:13.300 --> 01:04:14.900
you're not being a man.

737
01:04:16.620 --> 01:04:18.380
You're not pursuing me.

738
01:04:18.380 --> 01:04:20.500
And I'm supposed to be sitting back like,

739
01:04:20.500 --> 01:04:23.860
and he's like, well, that's not how things work these days.

740
01:04:23.860 --> 01:04:26.260
Women and women ask men to marry them.

741
01:04:26.260 --> 01:04:28.740
I'm like, well, that's not from, that's not me.

742
01:04:29.860 --> 01:04:31.020
And he goes, well, you're putting,

743
01:04:31.020 --> 01:04:32.500
you're interjecting yourself.

744
01:04:32.500 --> 01:04:34.420
And I'm like, you're talking to me.

745
01:04:35.940 --> 01:04:40.660
Like how am I, like, oh my gosh,

746
01:04:40.660 --> 01:04:42.740
I'm so frustrated.

747
01:04:42.740 --> 01:04:46.180
Like, I'm sorry.

748
01:04:46.180 --> 01:04:47.980
I'm sorry, you guys.

749
01:04:47.980 --> 01:04:49.420
No, this is good.

750
01:04:49.420 --> 01:04:52.020
Keep going, keep sharing.

751
01:04:52.020 --> 01:04:56.420
Like, I'm just really frustrated

752
01:04:56.420 --> 01:04:59.140
and I'm really scared that I'm going to be by myself

753
01:04:59.140 --> 01:05:00.340
because I'm standing up.

754
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:07.680
for myself. Yeah that's so good. What other fears are you sensing right now?

755
01:05:12.160 --> 01:05:18.080
Like you when you talk about scarcity that's what that's what like I'm like because I'm not

756
01:05:18.080 --> 01:05:26.000
this I'm not this skinny girl. I'm not like I'm not like so I don't I'm not very confident

757
01:05:26.000 --> 01:05:31.280
in my body or anything like that. So I got attention from one guy

758
01:05:32.880 --> 01:05:37.120
and so it's like am I gonna get attention from anybody else?

759
01:05:39.280 --> 01:05:45.760
Yeah yeah. What else are you processing? What else are you sensing?

760
01:05:48.640 --> 01:05:50.080
I need to get on my knees.

761
01:05:50.800 --> 01:06:01.040
Yeah that's so good Shirai. Thank you for sharing that.

762
01:06:02.320 --> 01:06:07.360
Um yeah everybody's supporting like great job like yeah thank you for sharing that.

763
01:06:08.640 --> 01:06:16.960
But those are all real things and those are real things whether you are skinny or thicker.

764
01:06:17.520 --> 01:06:25.120
Whether you are younger or older. Everything that you are experiencing women experience it

765
01:06:25.120 --> 01:06:32.720
all the time. Whether you think you're pretty or you think you're not so pretty. It is the truth.

766
01:06:35.520 --> 01:06:39.760
And so um way to go for standing up for yourself.

767
01:06:39.760 --> 01:06:48.480
Standing up for yourself because even though you feel all the the doubts you look very empowered

768
01:06:48.480 --> 01:06:54.560
right now. I know you feel that empowerment like surging through you like wait a minute.

769
01:06:55.280 --> 01:07:02.240
Now I went over and beyond and you finna sit on this phone and talk to me like this and you did

770
01:07:02.240 --> 01:07:10.720
that. You let that woman who believed another man wasn't coming. You let that woman who believed

771
01:07:10.720 --> 01:07:17.280
that she wasn't pretty enough or small enough still speak her truth and say you're not gonna

772
01:07:17.280 --> 01:07:22.400
treat me like this no matter what I think about myself because you don't get that right.

773
01:07:25.120 --> 01:07:26.240
And so way to go.

774
01:07:26.960 --> 01:07:34.880
Yeah um and it's kind of good that this happened at the time that it did because there's so much

775
01:07:34.880 --> 01:07:39.680
so much for you to glean from this what just happened. You might not want to glean it right

776
01:07:39.680 --> 01:07:46.240
now but I'm telling you I would be happy to glean with you later on after the sting leaves and after

777
01:07:46.240 --> 01:07:52.240
you get adjusted to not talking to them anymore. Sometimes you can tell how much a person you can

778
01:07:52.240 --> 01:07:57.360
tell what you were putting into them based on when their presence is lifted and you feel like

779
01:07:57.360 --> 01:08:02.400
well who I'm gonna talk to now. Well that means that they were just filling a void. They were

780
01:08:02.400 --> 01:08:11.600
just filling a space. They were just filling a space and you are gonna miss that conversation

781
01:08:11.600 --> 01:08:16.640
piece right like you were getting used to kind of talking to them back and forth but they were

782
01:08:16.720 --> 01:08:21.439
Those are the things you usually don't miss them from people who didn't add much to your life

783
01:08:23.359 --> 01:08:26.800
but if they came and just filled the space you wanted to be filled

784
01:08:26.800 --> 01:08:30.800
it's gonna feel like a void that's there and you can easily identify that. So I want you

785
01:08:30.800 --> 01:08:34.720
to watch out for that because it's gonna tell you a lot about that young man.

786
01:08:37.200 --> 01:08:42.479
And so I'm gonna tell you a little bit about that young man and I'm gonna tell you a little bit about

787
01:08:42.479 --> 01:08:50.479
for that because it's gonna tell you a lot about that young man right and when we do think less of

788
01:08:50.479 --> 01:08:57.279
ourselves which we all have doubts about ourselves we can tend to operate in a scarcity mindset like

789
01:08:57.279 --> 01:09:01.120
I better hold on to this because this person is giving me attention and at the moment that happens

790
01:09:01.120 --> 01:09:07.920
we become blind. We don't see all the things. All of a sudden now Shirai just let you know your eyes

791
01:09:07.920 --> 01:09:14.880
were open. You're like wait a minute I'm the one doing all the work but as long as you were like

792
01:09:14.880 --> 01:09:19.359
this may be the best thing I'm gonna get I don't mind putting in the extra work but all of a sudden

793
01:09:19.359 --> 01:09:23.520
when you saw that he was unappreciative and started accusing you of being something that

794
01:09:23.520 --> 01:09:28.640
you were completely not it's like wait a minute I'm doing all the work you ain't doing nothing

795
01:09:28.640 --> 01:09:37.200
and so that is okay. I think you did well. I think this was an excellent experience.

796
01:09:37.760 --> 01:09:42.640
That's the thing about dating for discovery. Who do you guys think Shirai learned the most about

797
01:09:42.640 --> 01:09:52.160
herself or that man? Herself. That's why dating for discovery is amazing and I'm so glad you had

798
01:09:52.160 --> 01:09:57.600
that conversation with him while you're on the call with us because it matters about your community

799
01:09:57.600 --> 01:09:59.840
and it matters who you get to vent to and it matters.

800
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.720
you get to pour out to your sisters that put encouraging things in the chat for you. It's true.

801
01:10:06.880 --> 01:10:11.680
And I know you would have liked for this young man to work out in your favor, but the truth is

802
01:10:11.680 --> 01:10:17.920
he was not in your favor. And the truth is the longer you would have been with him, the longer

803
01:10:17.920 --> 01:10:22.800
you would invest it in, the more it would have stung. It feels like it hurt, but it just stings.

804
01:10:25.440 --> 01:10:29.360
And the truth is you're not going to give yourself over to men, even if he had to ask

805
01:10:29.360 --> 01:10:33.200
you to go exclusive, this wouldn't have been best for you. And it would have cost you more

806
01:10:33.200 --> 01:10:42.400
in the long run. I have a quick question. So should, because he said, he said that I should

807
01:10:42.960 --> 01:10:52.080
tell people that I'm, that I'm not like dating exclusive, that I'm not dating for exclusively

808
01:10:52.080 --> 01:10:57.280
or whatever. And I, and from what I've listened to so far from Jackie, that we don't need to

809
01:10:57.280 --> 01:11:03.120
tell people that. Right. You don't have to tell him that. See, the problem is y'all have

810
01:11:03.120 --> 01:11:08.880
two different ideas or concepts about what dating is. That's the problem. So maybe he feels like

811
01:11:08.880 --> 01:11:14.640
when he talks to somebody, you're already exclusive. The, the great guy that I get an

812
01:11:14.640 --> 01:11:19.920
opportunity to get to know and date, we were like on the third week and he was just like,

813
01:11:20.160 --> 01:11:25.680
what are we? Like, like he was like, he was thinking we were a thing. And I was like,

814
01:11:25.680 --> 01:11:33.520
Hey, I go exclusive it at 90 days, just so you know. And I'm telling you, you know, like this,

815
01:11:33.520 --> 01:11:38.000
he's like, Oh, I never did that before. I just thought when you like somebody, you'd be together.

816
01:11:38.000 --> 01:11:42.000
He had no problem with spreading my boundaries, but that's just what he thought. So there was a

817
01:11:42.000 --> 01:11:47.200
good confusion about how dating work. Everybody's not in Jackie's program. Everybody has a different

818
01:11:47.520 --> 01:11:50.320
Everybody has a different idea of what pursuing is.

819
01:11:52.480 --> 01:11:56.480
Whoever these guys may have had somebody who does everything you do. I don't know,

820
01:11:57.200 --> 01:12:00.640
but I know y'all had two different concepts and you have the right to say, Oh no,

821
01:12:02.240 --> 01:12:06.880
basically you single till you're married. Now that's the truth. And you can go exclusive with

822
01:12:06.880 --> 01:12:10.080
somebody and still say, Hey, I'm going to call this out. Because when you go exclusive, you're

823
01:12:10.080 --> 01:12:13.200
actually going deeper into getting to know each other. And there comes some things that

824
01:12:13.200 --> 01:12:17.760
come up that may be deal breakers. And so y'all just had two different concepts about what dating

825
01:12:17.760 --> 01:12:24.480
is. That's okay. And you were on dating sites because you are a single woman and you're dating.

826
01:12:25.920 --> 01:12:29.760
He could have asked you that when he saw you, he could have had the conversation with you.

827
01:12:29.760 --> 01:12:35.920
He chose not to do that. That's not your problem. That's his problem. And there's a reason why he

828
01:12:35.920 --> 01:12:41.360
wants to lock you in and he's not locked in. And he's not locked in. He's not locked in.

829
01:12:41.360 --> 01:12:45.920
And he's not locked in. There's a reason why he didn't communicate like that. There's some

830
01:12:45.920 --> 01:12:50.240
reasons why people do what they do or say what they say or why they don't do or why they don't

831
01:12:50.240 --> 01:12:56.480
say not to be suspicious. I'm just telling you that he could have communicated his expectations

832
01:12:56.480 --> 01:13:04.000
and he, he didn't do that. And Shira, I'm going to tell you something. As long as you're out there

833
01:13:04.000 --> 01:13:08.720
dating, there's going to be a man who finds you interesting. Who's going to want to talk to you.

834
01:13:08.720 --> 01:13:12.960
And you may not believe it because maybe your dates in life have come far in between,

835
01:13:12.960 --> 01:13:16.960
but there's an acceleration on this program that you're on and there's an anointing on it.

836
01:13:16.960 --> 01:13:21.520
And you're going to get heaven's best as long as you stick out the program. There are times,

837
01:13:21.520 --> 01:13:25.920
I am a full figure woman. And there's times that I've been on a website and could have thought

838
01:13:27.120 --> 01:13:32.560
that I may not get a date, but there's something about dating. There's a ebb and flow. You flow

839
01:13:32.560 --> 01:13:38.480
and you just go, and then it slows down and it dries up. Then it goes, but what I want you to

840
01:13:38.480 --> 01:13:44.000
do is I want you to start dealing with the things that really popped up today. And the things about

841
01:13:44.000 --> 01:13:47.280
you, when you get a change, you don't have to deal with it today. You can deal with it next week. We

842
01:13:47.280 --> 01:13:53.200
want to process through how you feel about Shira. Because what's going to happen is we can't afford

843
01:13:53.200 --> 01:13:57.920
for you to allow man to come in and give you an identity. And if we don't take care of that now,

844
01:13:57.920 --> 01:14:01.520
that's what's going to happen. And if he's the one that builds you, he's going to be the one

845
01:14:01.520 --> 01:14:06.480
that breaks you. And he will break you because if he builds you, he's going to become your God.

846
01:14:07.040 --> 01:14:11.120
And he's going to become the one that you look to for fulfillment and the one that tells you who

847
01:14:11.120 --> 01:14:15.120
you are. And if he builds you, he will break you because that's how it works.

848
01:14:16.240 --> 01:14:19.840
You don't get no choice in that. Whatever builds you, breaks you.

849
01:14:21.840 --> 01:14:26.160
And so we want God to be the builder and the constructor of who you are.

850
01:14:28.160 --> 01:14:33.600
And he's going to be the God of your life and he doesn't break you. But every God that you make,

851
01:14:33.600 --> 01:14:37.600
an idol in your life, whatever idol it is, it comes with a demand.

852
01:14:40.800 --> 01:14:46.480
And so we can't, that's a real thing. We can't have that space opening you for someone else

853
01:14:46.480 --> 01:14:52.320
to define you. Whether it's your mama, whether it's your daddy, whether it's your friends,

854
01:14:52.320 --> 01:14:57.200
whether it's a man, whoever it is that gives you definition, that defines you,

855
01:14:57.200 --> 01:14:58.720
will be the one to break you.

856
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:03.300
Because everything that you are comes from what they say

857
01:15:06.360 --> 01:15:12.840
Okay, and so we're gonna work on that and you got to catch your profile up and we're gonna keep doing both at the same

858
01:15:12.840 --> 01:15:16.640
Time because what you did tonight is building your identity

859
01:15:17.480 --> 01:15:20.860
What you said tonight is no, I'm worth something

860
01:15:22.600 --> 01:15:27.440
It's already happening it happened when you were in phase 2 in phase 1 you get the hard work

861
01:15:27.440 --> 01:15:30.760
It's already happening. You're reinforcing it

862
01:15:31.280 --> 01:15:36.380
You got the hammer nails and you're reinforcing the truth about who you are and it's building you

863
01:15:36.520 --> 01:15:40.680
That's why dating for discovery is so much fun because you get to practice your boundaries

864
01:15:40.760 --> 01:15:45.640
You get to express your needs without fear of rejection the will the fear is gonna be there

865
01:15:45.640 --> 01:15:49.160
But you get to go against it and you ain't got nothing to lose

866
01:15:51.640 --> 01:15:54.140
But everything to gain ladies

867
01:15:54.980 --> 01:15:59.220
Because if you don't stand up to it you've already lost

868
01:16:01.340 --> 01:16:04.660
You're not gonna marry some man and all of a sudden

869
01:16:05.620 --> 01:16:07.620
You don't need to know boundaries anymore

870
01:16:08.460 --> 01:16:14.060
If anybody's ever been married before they can attest to this if you never been married before it's kind of hard to know that I've

871
01:16:14.060 --> 01:16:16.060
been married before

872
01:16:16.900 --> 01:16:21.940
In marriage you have to have boundaries even God has boundaries in

873
01:16:22.420 --> 01:16:27.340
Relationship with us you have to know boundaries you have to know your value in your words

874
01:16:27.340 --> 01:16:33.180
You can marry somebody God could have put a stamp of approval heaven from and say this is the one he is for you

875
01:16:33.180 --> 01:16:35.140
You still got not to communicate

876
01:16:35.140 --> 01:16:39.700
You still have to know how to say hey, whoa. No, that's not okay to speak to me that way

877
01:16:43.420 --> 01:16:45.220
You see where I'm going with this

878
01:16:45.220 --> 01:16:49.720
These things have to be built and this is the time in the season to do it and that's why I want you get on

879
01:16:49.720 --> 01:16:55.520
There and date and I want you to date like it ain't nobody business. Have fun. I used to have a date every other day

880
01:16:55.520 --> 01:17:03.880
I was on a roll. I used to almost forget people names when I found out I'm serious when I found out that

881
01:17:04.800 --> 01:17:10.660
This helped me discover myself that I got to practice boundaries. God would say some of the boldest stuff

882
01:17:11.440 --> 01:17:13.640
Because I'm like, what can I lose? I

883
01:17:14.480 --> 01:17:22.000
Can't lose and so I just would when I found out like this is where is it? I just kept going for it

884
01:17:23.440 --> 01:17:26.680
And if they could hold a decent conversation I was going to coffee

885
01:17:28.440 --> 01:17:35.000
They weren't like, you know like making sexual comments or if they were intelligent I saw their profile

886
01:17:35.000 --> 01:17:39.640
They seemed like an intelligent respectful person. We were going on a date to coffee

887
01:17:40.400 --> 01:17:44.400
Not lunch not dinner, but we definitely were going to coffee

888
01:17:45.800 --> 01:17:50.480
Because I needed a date because I found out that in dating I discovered Ebony

889
01:17:53.120 --> 01:17:58.380
And for once this little girl who was not seen heard or known by her father had a voice

890
01:17:58.760 --> 01:18:04.000
Where I could be seen I could be heard and I could be known not by the other person but by me first

891
01:18:04.000 --> 01:18:08.760
And that's where you're going that you're seeing heard and known in your world

892
01:18:08.840 --> 01:18:12.600
You don't need nobody else to make space for you because you've made space for yourself

893
01:18:12.600 --> 01:18:16.080
And when they come they get to join the party that you've already created

894
01:18:19.120 --> 01:18:25.080
Okay, go for Allison, oh, yeah go for Allison Allison is

895
01:18:27.280 --> 01:18:29.280
Thank You Ebony

896
01:18:29.320 --> 01:18:30.960
That was just awesome

897
01:18:30.960 --> 01:18:38.240
Yeah that touched my spirit went down to the mirror and on that my question was, you know

898
01:18:38.840 --> 01:18:41.160
Phase three seems to be a mystery

899
01:18:41.360 --> 01:18:47.600
Maybe it's just because I don't know where it is and they say you have to have seven dates and I'm like Karen Karen

900
01:18:47.600 --> 01:18:49.600
We're on these same sites

901
01:18:50.400 --> 01:18:54.120
Exactly, and I've asked him about it. I don't know if it's an age thing

902
01:18:54.640 --> 01:19:02.000
That I really don't know but I'm not getting any bites and I and I'm out there

903
01:19:02.000 --> 01:19:03.200
but anyway

904
01:19:03.200 --> 01:19:08.800
That's neither here nor there. But can you just tell us briefly what phase three is?

905
01:19:09.520 --> 01:19:12.800
Yeah, I can see what phase three is. It's just another phase

906
01:19:13.800 --> 01:19:17.880
Well, I know that sounds crazy when I answered you that way. I don't want to say this though

907
01:19:17.880 --> 01:19:22.560
I don't know what y'all have going on in y'all communities, but I know in my community here

908
01:19:22.560 --> 01:19:27.520
They have stuff at the rec center with like silver sneakers is what they call it

909
01:19:27.760 --> 01:19:34.440
But you ladies have a lot advantage because these people really do gather together and have events all the time

910
01:19:34.440 --> 01:19:39.160
I think you guys need to look into that in your communities because they're always getting together

911
01:19:39.400 --> 01:19:46.000
But pickleball and for everything get the rec center when I go and so, um, just shooting it out there

912
01:19:46.000 --> 01:19:50.280
I don't know if you tried it, but I know at the YMCA. They have a lot of stuff, too

913
01:19:50.800 --> 01:19:55.720
And so, I don't know if you tried it I'm just throwing it out there you're

914
01:19:56.120 --> 01:20:00.080
Aged they they get up out there a lot. They got so many even

915
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:06.080
going on. Anyway, phase three, I think one of the, I think phase three is just exciting. So it's like

916
01:20:06.080 --> 01:20:08.800
a pickup of phase two. You're going to have coaches in there. They're going to help you

917
01:20:08.800 --> 01:20:13.600
navigate things, but they have a lot of more events. They have a lot more community events,

918
01:20:13.600 --> 01:20:18.400
like the ones that Jackie let y'all come in on, and they get a lot more coaching from Jackie too.

919
01:20:18.960 --> 01:20:26.000
So you get a lot of live sessions. I go in there and they are like really, really good.

920
01:20:26.800 --> 01:20:31.840
And so you may not have had a date, but if you've been in here long enough, I want you to go over

921
01:20:31.840 --> 01:20:36.800
to phase three. I think that you'll really enjoy it. I know I do. And I go over there.

922
01:20:36.800 --> 01:20:40.720
And so I don't know if I said a lot, but I think that within itself is,

923
01:20:42.160 --> 01:20:50.560
that makes phase three very exciting. And they have a lot of love stories too.

924
01:20:51.440 --> 01:20:56.080
And those are very encouraging. So they bring back the people who are married and they get to

925
01:20:56.080 --> 01:21:00.880
tell the details of their story. And you'd be amazed to have some of these people. Like I know

926
01:21:00.880 --> 01:21:06.320
one couple on there, I knew they were in the program when I was in the program. And she talked

927
01:21:06.320 --> 01:21:12.160
about how challenging it was for them to actually get together. It was such a long journey. I don't

928
01:21:12.160 --> 01:21:18.960
know how she held on that long, but they are really good. They are so good. This phase three

929
01:21:18.960 --> 01:21:26.720
is really good. So we don't have to prove that, I mean, that we've had dates because I can't make

930
01:21:26.720 --> 01:21:32.000
it happen. No, you cannot make it happen. No, you don't have to feel like I can't go to phase

931
01:21:32.000 --> 01:21:36.240
three without dates. We want you to go to phase three. If you want to go to phase three. Yeah.

932
01:21:36.880 --> 01:21:40.400
You should go over there. They're not going to ask you how many days that you have. They're

933
01:21:40.400 --> 01:21:46.880
going to keep encouraging you to get dates. Thank you. You're welcome. I'll miss you,

934
01:21:46.880 --> 01:21:53.520
but I understand. Well, it's not time yet. Oh, okay. I'm only four weeks, but phase three has

935
01:21:53.520 --> 01:21:58.640
felt like a mystery to me. Like we can't know until we have seven dates. And I'm like, that

936
01:21:58.640 --> 01:22:03.280
just may not happen. Well, no, I don't know if anybody's ever said that, but that's not true.

937
01:22:03.280 --> 01:22:06.880
You can't know until you have seven dates. I don't, it wasn't listed somewhere.

938
01:22:08.560 --> 01:22:14.160
That's what I heard initially. I said, okay, everyone seemed to be having dates. So, okay.

939
01:22:14.560 --> 01:22:23.440
I jumped in full circle and, but you know, the men at our stage, some have lots to be,

940
01:22:27.920 --> 01:22:33.440
just don't want a deer head on my wall. And I don't want to go fishing every Sunday and

941
01:22:33.440 --> 01:22:40.240
that's not who I am. So right now, once they get you, they ain't going to want to go fishing every

942
01:22:40.240 --> 01:22:43.120
Sunday. They just ain't got nothing to do. So you need to go ahead and talk to them.

943
01:22:43.440 --> 01:22:46.960
They go fishing every Sunday. He ain't got no woman. What else you want him to do?

944
01:22:46.960 --> 01:22:51.920
But when he gets you in his life, he ain't going to be hunting them deer heads no more.

945
01:22:51.920 --> 01:22:55.280
He ain't going to be doing all that fishing. If he do, you're going to be sitting on the dock

946
01:22:55.280 --> 01:23:00.560
of the bay, right beside him, hugging with your man. You need to talk to one of them men with

947
01:23:00.560 --> 01:23:05.920
them fishing boats. Well, they all have them. So I guess that's my choice.

948
01:23:08.000 --> 01:23:11.760
He just fishing because he ain't got nothing to do, girl. He waiting on you.

949
01:23:13.440 --> 01:23:21.440
Okay. Well, thank you, Ebony. You're welcome. Go for it, Kelly. And y'all,

950
01:23:22.080 --> 01:23:25.520
we're supposed to stop at 815. So we got like four minutes. Go, Kelly.

951
01:23:26.320 --> 01:23:31.920
Okay. Allison, I just want to confirm that you should go play pickleball because everybody of

952
01:23:31.920 --> 01:23:38.400
all ages play and you will meet lots of people that way. And they'll be fun and active.

953
01:23:38.960 --> 01:23:43.920
Ebony, you said something earlier and this totally hit me. And I feel like this is why I might have

954
01:23:43.920 --> 01:23:49.920
to prune this guy. You mentioned like going on dates and it gives you the chance to feel feminine

955
01:23:49.920 --> 01:24:04.480
and fun. And I almost feel like I want too much by wanting that. Because I like the last guy that I

956
01:24:04.800 --> 01:24:09.680
the last guy that I dated, that's the first guy I've ever dated that I really felt feminine around

957
01:24:09.680 --> 01:24:18.240
and like, wow, he was like such a manly man. And really like, of that mindset, like provider,

958
01:24:18.240 --> 01:24:24.960
protector, like it made it really I felt like, wow, this is such a game changer getting to be in

959
01:24:24.960 --> 01:24:30.160
this really in my feminine, you know, and kind of like what you were saying, when you're single,

960
01:24:30.160 --> 01:24:35.040
you got to do everything. You got to do it all. You got to do all the errands, you're tired,

961
01:24:35.040 --> 01:24:42.080
you get in your like masculine energy. And I feel like this guy that I've been spending time with,

962
01:24:42.720 --> 01:24:52.160
as wonderful as he is, like very early on, he sort of insinuated about splitting the not splitting

963
01:24:52.160 --> 01:24:59.200
the tab, but each of us paying. And I understand in a lot of ways, because like, if you're not

964
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:04.680
Admit, you know, you're not um committed or whatever. It's expensive dating

965
01:25:05.040 --> 01:25:10.720
But also I feel like the last woman he went out with I I know who she is. She's wonderful

966
01:25:10.960 --> 01:25:14.800
She's in a very high-paying career and she paid for almost everything

967
01:25:15.520 --> 01:25:17.520
with them

968
01:25:18.480 --> 01:25:21.000
So he hasn't been that way with me

969
01:25:21.000 --> 01:25:28.040
But he wants to split things or kind of go every other time and I'm like, I love the fact that we share the Lord

970
01:25:30.000 --> 01:25:32.880
And I'm not even looking at that as a negative on him

971
01:25:32.960 --> 01:25:38.680
but I know the way it makes me feel and it doesn't make me feel feminine and

972
01:25:39.520 --> 01:25:45.080
like I get to get dressed up and look pretty and be feminine and I

973
01:25:45.200 --> 01:25:49.400
Feel so much like I love being around him because it makes me feel like life is easier

974
01:25:49.400 --> 01:25:53.480
you know all those fun things that dating should be it just feels like

975
01:25:53.480 --> 01:25:59.800
Nothing is gonna change and it's gonna be just as hard, which I know that's true hard in a different way, you know, but

976
01:26:00.480 --> 01:26:02.480
Yeah

977
01:26:02.480 --> 01:26:04.480
Feeling I want that, you know

978
01:26:04.480 --> 01:26:10.000
No, as long as you paying for yourself to eat and paying for him sometime to you not gonna feel feminine

979
01:26:10.000 --> 01:26:15.640
I mean the heat least paid for the first three days or yeah, but the first three and

980
01:26:16.320 --> 01:26:19.320
We he did pay for the first three one was coffee

981
01:26:19.880 --> 01:26:21.880
One was a really nice dinner

982
01:26:21.880 --> 01:26:24.920
One was a really nice dinner and then the next time

983
01:26:27.240 --> 01:26:31.360
It's just I don't remember where it started we had a conversation and he was

984
01:26:33.440 --> 01:26:36.240
Basically, I just know things are very very tight for him

985
01:26:36.960 --> 01:26:42.480
But what's hard is I don't see him doing a lot to make it not tight if that makes sense

986
01:26:43.080 --> 01:26:48.360
Right, and he's a good career. He's a teacher and he's a higher level teacher

987
01:26:48.880 --> 01:26:53.800
Um, and he told me like, oh I had to put a new house a new roof on my house this year

988
01:26:54.200 --> 01:26:56.340
so that ate up all of his like

989
01:26:58.000 --> 01:27:00.000
Spending money fun money, you know

990
01:27:00.600 --> 01:27:05.160
And all that's fine, and I understand all the reasons and I'm not judging him for it

991
01:27:05.160 --> 01:27:07.560
I just know the way it makes me feel is like

992
01:27:08.980 --> 01:27:16.480
When he plans a date, it's kind of last-minute like he's like, oh, yeah. Hey you want to hang out tomorrow night? And it's like

993
01:27:17.480 --> 01:27:23.800
I'm I made plans already, you know, or it's kind of loosey-goosey. He just is real. I

994
01:27:26.040 --> 01:27:29.400
Don't know it doesn't feel like there's a whole lot of effort and

995
01:27:30.000 --> 01:27:34.520
That's hard. Like I feel like you don't have to have a lot of money, but you could make effort

996
01:27:35.200 --> 01:27:37.160
you know to

997
01:27:37.160 --> 01:27:42.320
plan a nice date instead of it just being so like chill all the time and

998
01:27:42.840 --> 01:27:49.240
Yeah, well that's definitely was would've been do a conversation I think that it should have happened early on

999
01:27:49.680 --> 01:27:52.680
Whatever we allow becomes a pattern Kelly

1000
01:27:52.680 --> 01:27:54.840
And so I want to encourage you the next guy you're dating

1001
01:27:54.840 --> 01:28:00.040
Let's have those conversations very early on as soon as you notice it and not only there

1002
01:28:00.040 --> 01:28:02.240
I want to say something else you said

1003
01:28:02.560 --> 01:28:06.520
You can ask a person not to share their personal financial business with you

1004
01:28:06.720 --> 01:28:09.840
Because sometimes it could feel like they're asking you to help carry a burden

1005
01:28:09.880 --> 01:28:14.160
He might ask you for any money, but now you got to consider his financial

1006
01:28:14.800 --> 01:28:20.680
Situation into what you what y'all are doing or what you're thinking about y'all doing?

1007
01:28:20.680 --> 01:28:23.900
And so that's the issue and that's why you're feeling that way

1008
01:28:23.900 --> 01:28:28.160
and so what happens is because y'all have all these spiritual conversations and

1009
01:28:29.040 --> 01:28:31.640
Y'all get each other so much now

1010
01:28:31.640 --> 01:28:38.000
He's sharing that and so what you have to do is very early on even if y'all do do ministry and y'all have all these

1011
01:28:38.000 --> 01:28:43.200
Things you have to just put a limit to the type of conversations you want to have you can say look

1012
01:28:43.200 --> 01:28:46.880
Thank you for feeling safe enough to share that but I like to

1013
01:28:47.400 --> 01:28:53.440
I don't prefer to have conversations about each of the financial status because in the past

1014
01:28:53.440 --> 01:28:58.640
It just made me feel a little burdensome. And so I'm asking list. Let's just stay away from those

1015
01:28:59.920 --> 01:29:03.120
And what okay, that's yeah, that's fair

1016
01:29:03.120 --> 01:29:09.640
And and we did have I mean we had a conversation about this not it was probably a good six weeks ago

1017
01:29:09.840 --> 01:29:12.320
Like I said, we don't see each other every weekend. Um

1018
01:29:13.800 --> 01:29:15.800
because

1019
01:29:16.120 --> 01:29:17.760
He

1020
01:29:17.760 --> 01:29:21.720
Left things in my court. Like he had asked me like do you want to go to lunch?

1021
01:29:21.720 --> 01:29:27.600
He might have been lunch after church. We don't go to the same church. And so when I called him he was like, okay

1022
01:29:27.600 --> 01:29:32.480
well, do you have any ideas where you'd like to go and I was a little frustrated thinking like

1023
01:29:34.120 --> 01:29:37.800
Can you not can you not plan a date, you know

1024
01:29:40.160 --> 01:29:45.040
He probably doesn't know how to plan a date, you know, I don't want to cut you out, but I got it in this session

1025
01:29:45.040 --> 01:29:50.200
So he doesn't man don't do well planning dates. So what you can do is communicate

1026
01:29:51.560 --> 01:29:56.200
Okay. Yeah, Rachel. I'll miss you. But what you can do is commute

1027
01:29:56.200 --> 01:30:00.040
I don't want you to go back and say both at the same time what you want to do

1028
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:04.000
It was communicate to him like, hey, I have an idea.

1029
01:30:04.000 --> 01:30:05.360
One time I'll plan a date.

1030
01:30:05.360 --> 01:30:06.840
The next time I want you to plan.

1031
01:30:06.840 --> 01:30:07.800
We've been out enough.

1032
01:30:07.800 --> 01:30:08.840
So this is for the new pro.

1033
01:30:08.840 --> 01:30:11.160
We've been out enough to kind of know what each other likes.

1034
01:30:11.160 --> 01:30:12.760
And so it's going to be in your court.

1035
01:30:12.760 --> 01:30:14.800
Whatever you choose, I'm going to be good to go.

1036
01:30:14.800 --> 01:30:17.280
You don't have to worry about if it's going to please me.

1037
01:30:17.280 --> 01:30:18.160
You pick a place.

1038
01:30:18.160 --> 01:30:19.200
I pick a place.

1039
01:30:19.200 --> 01:30:20.960
And that's how you're going to have to try

1040
01:30:20.960 --> 01:30:22.480
to alleviate some of that.

1041
01:30:22.480 --> 01:30:24.560
Most men are not planners.

1042
01:30:24.560 --> 01:30:25.400
That's the truth.

1043
01:30:25.400 --> 01:30:28.280
But if you want to have someone planning with you,

1044
01:30:28.280 --> 01:30:30.400
then you're going to have to say, you pick a place.

1045
01:30:30.400 --> 01:30:31.080
I pick a place.

1046
01:30:31.080 --> 01:30:31.760
You pick a place.

1047
01:30:31.760 --> 01:30:33.680
I pick a place.

1048
01:30:33.680 --> 01:30:34.920
OK.

1049
01:30:34.920 --> 01:30:36.320
Yeah.

1050
01:30:36.320 --> 01:30:39.560
Felicia, did you have a quick question?

1051
01:30:39.560 --> 01:30:41.120
Not really a question, but I just

1052
01:30:41.120 --> 01:30:42.120
wanted to say thank you.

1053
01:30:42.120 --> 01:30:45.880
Last week when you spoke to me about, you know,

1054
01:30:45.880 --> 01:30:48.960
drop the hankies, that's a new word for me.

1055
01:30:48.960 --> 01:30:51.480
I know, it was new for me too.

1056
01:30:51.480 --> 01:30:54.280
But anyway, my senior pastor, I love this new church

1057
01:30:54.280 --> 01:30:56.160
where I moved here in Virginia.

1058
01:30:56.160 --> 01:31:00.360
And our senior pastor, they embrace single people,

1059
01:31:00.360 --> 01:31:01.800
meeting people in the church.

1060
01:31:01.800 --> 01:31:04.040
And exactly what you said, he said,

1061
01:31:04.040 --> 01:31:05.760
we keep saying that there's no one in the church.

1062
01:31:05.760 --> 01:31:07.520
Oh, we go to this big church and they're empty.

1063
01:31:07.520 --> 01:31:08.480
There are no single men.

1064
01:31:08.480 --> 01:31:10.520
He said, have you looked around?

1065
01:31:10.520 --> 01:31:13.040
Have you invite someone for coffee?

1066
01:31:13.040 --> 01:31:15.720
And he had all the single people stand up.

1067
01:31:15.720 --> 01:31:17.360
And he said, oh, yes.

1068
01:31:17.360 --> 01:31:20.280
I've never been to a church who embraced it so intensely.

1069
01:31:20.280 --> 01:31:21.560
He said, all of the single people,

1070
01:31:21.560 --> 01:31:23.240
after he dealt with marriage, he said,

1071
01:31:23.240 --> 01:31:24.400
all the single people stand up.

1072
01:31:24.400 --> 01:31:26.680
And he said, okay, we're going to do this again.

1073
01:31:26.680 --> 01:31:28.920
But you guys didn't jump up fast enough.

1074
01:31:28.920 --> 01:31:31.080
Are you single and ready to be married?

1075
01:31:31.080 --> 01:31:34.200
And we had to sit down and start again.

1076
01:31:34.200 --> 01:31:36.440
And after we get up, he said, okay.

1077
01:31:36.440 --> 01:31:38.480
He prayed over us, the wife prayed over us.

1078
01:31:38.480 --> 01:31:40.880
And it's a big church, he loved this church so much.

1079
01:31:40.880 --> 01:31:42.800
And he said, we need to look around.

1080
01:31:43.920 --> 01:31:45.520
We need to make sure we're looking around

1081
01:31:45.520 --> 01:31:46.920
to see who stand up single.

1082
01:31:46.920 --> 01:31:48.720
Men do it, women do it.

1083
01:31:48.720 --> 01:31:50.960
And I love when you talk about yoking.

1084
01:31:50.960 --> 01:31:52.920
He said, listen, a lot of time in the church,

1085
01:31:53.080 --> 01:31:55.040
we don't preach that because we're looking

1086
01:31:55.040 --> 01:31:57.520
and we're dating and we're single, we're lusting.

1087
01:31:57.520 --> 01:31:58.800
So that's not what we're doing.

1088
01:31:58.800 --> 01:32:00.280
We're looking around to partner,

1089
01:32:00.280 --> 01:32:02.680
to yoke with the people in the body of Christ,

1090
01:32:02.680 --> 01:32:06.200
to see who is the right fit, but we need to make a move.

1091
01:32:06.200 --> 01:32:08.640
And I'm like, wow, exactly what Ebony,

1092
01:32:08.640 --> 01:32:10.480
after I was thinking about like, oh my God,

1093
01:32:10.480 --> 01:32:12.560
I can't believe Ebony said I should do this.

1094
01:32:12.560 --> 01:32:14.720
And then he just knocked it in the head on Sunday.

1095
01:32:14.720 --> 01:32:18.120
We need to be looking around and inviting each other out,

1096
01:32:18.120 --> 01:32:19.640
make a move.

1097
01:32:19.640 --> 01:32:20.840
And that was so exciting.

1098
01:32:20.840 --> 01:32:22.120
I just want to share that with you.

1099
01:32:22.160 --> 01:32:23.000
Yeah.

1100
01:32:23.000 --> 01:32:24.440
Thank you for sharing.

1101
01:32:24.440 --> 01:32:25.280
That's awesome.

1102
01:32:25.280 --> 01:32:26.120
We do.

1103
01:32:26.120 --> 01:32:28.120
And it's so kind of, I was at a singles conference

1104
01:32:28.120 --> 01:32:30.240
and they told it, everybody that was single,

1105
01:32:30.240 --> 01:32:31.320
they would tell us to look around.

1106
01:32:31.320 --> 01:32:32.920
I was so nervous to do it.

1107
01:32:32.920 --> 01:32:35.560
And I'm like, come on, you know,

1108
01:32:35.560 --> 01:32:36.640
it makes you feel like,

1109
01:32:36.640 --> 01:32:38.760
this ain't look crazy thoughts in your head.

1110
01:32:38.760 --> 01:32:40.560
Come like, I don't want to look desperate.

1111
01:32:40.560 --> 01:32:41.560
You don't look desperate.

1112
01:32:41.560 --> 01:32:42.880
They told you to look around.

1113
01:32:42.880 --> 01:32:43.720
You know you want to.

1114
01:32:43.720 --> 01:32:44.720
Exactly.

1115
01:32:44.720 --> 01:32:46.880
And it's very, I don't want anyone to think that.

1116
01:32:46.880 --> 01:32:49.600
It's very nervous for me because standing up

1117
01:32:49.600 --> 01:32:51.040
in the first time, that's the first time

1118
01:32:51.040 --> 01:32:52.680
since my husband passed away,

1119
01:32:52.680 --> 01:32:54.840
I've standing up declaring that I'm single.

1120
01:32:54.840 --> 01:32:56.520
It was really like, oh my God,

1121
01:32:56.520 --> 01:32:58.520
I feel like something was holding me down.

1122
01:32:58.520 --> 01:33:00.520
But I have to do it because in reality,

1123
01:33:00.520 --> 01:33:02.840
I am legally single through that.

1124
01:33:02.840 --> 01:33:03.680
But that was good.

1125
01:33:03.680 --> 01:33:04.720
Thank you.

1126
01:33:04.720 --> 01:33:05.640
You're welcome.

1127
01:33:05.640 --> 01:33:07.200
It was awesome ladies tonight.

1128
01:33:07.200 --> 01:33:08.760
I want you guys to get in your bed.

1129
01:33:08.760 --> 01:33:11.040
Don't forget, if this is your first time caring,

1130
01:33:11.040 --> 01:33:13.080
you're going to love this activation.

1131
01:33:13.080 --> 01:33:15.680
I want you to jump in that good old bed of yours.

1132
01:33:15.680 --> 01:33:17.920
And I want you to roll over till you get to the other side

1133
01:33:17.920 --> 01:33:19.600
just before you fall out.

1134
01:33:19.600 --> 01:33:20.960
And on your way back over,

1135
01:33:21.800 --> 01:33:22.960
I want you to thank the Lord that one day

1136
01:33:22.960 --> 01:33:26.880
that spot is going to be filled with your H-U-S-B-A-N-D,

1137
01:33:26.880 --> 01:33:30.600
your own man, baby, that you get to roll into.

1138
01:33:30.600 --> 01:33:32.720
And you're going to say, Lord, I thank you.

1139
01:33:32.720 --> 01:33:34.200
And we're going to do that every night

1140
01:33:34.200 --> 01:33:35.400
till we get the hang of this thing.

1141
01:33:35.400 --> 01:33:37.080
Cause one day you're going to roll over

1142
01:33:37.080 --> 01:33:38.720
and he's going to be laying there.

1143
01:33:38.720 --> 01:33:39.960
Yes Lord.

1144
01:33:39.960 --> 01:33:41.560
Yes Lord.

1145
01:33:43.560 --> 01:33:45.000
So you ladies have a good night.

1146
01:33:45.000 --> 01:33:48.240
I look forward to seeing you guys and we will talk soon.

1147
01:33:51.000 --> 01:33:52.240
Good night.

1148
01:33:52.240 --> 01:33:53.080
Good night.

1149
01:33:53.080 --> 01:33:53.920
Thank you.

1150
01:33:53.920 --> 01:33:54.920
You're welcome.

1151
01:33:54.920 --> 01:33:55.840
Good night.

1152
01:33:55.840 --> 01:33:56.680
Love you ladies.

1153
01:33:56.680 --> 01:33:57.520
Thank you, Ebony.

1154
01:33:57.520 --> 01:33:58.920
Thank you, Ebony.

1155
01:33:58.920 --> 01:33:59.760
Good night.

1156
01:33:59.760 --> 01:34:01.040
Bye, Rachel.

1157
01:34:01.040 --> 01:34:01.880
Bye, Ebony.

1158
01:34:01.880 --> 01:34:04.600
Thank you for making us giggle, Ebony.

1159
01:34:04.600 --> 01:34:05.440
For your what?

1160
01:34:05.440 --> 01:34:06.720
You're the best, Ebony.

1161
01:34:10.040 --> 01:34:11.240
You are.

1162
01:34:11.240 --> 01:34:12.680
Thank you for the giggles.

1163
01:34:14.720 --> 01:34:15.560
Good night.

1164
01:34:15.560 --> 01:34:16.400
Good night.

1165
01:34:16.400 --> 01:34:17.600
Hold strong, Shirai.

1166
01:34:17.600 --> 01:34:18.840
You got this.

1167
01:34:18.840 --> 01:34:19.680
Yes.

1168
01:34:19.880 --> 01:34:22.560
Post in the community so I can know how you're doing.

1169
01:34:22.560 --> 01:34:23.800
Okay, I will.

1170
01:34:23.800 --> 01:34:24.640
Okay.

1171
01:34:24.640 --> 01:34:25.920
Ebony, what about our recording?

1172
01:34:25.920 --> 01:34:27.200
How do I access this?

1173
01:34:27.200 --> 01:34:28.840
Cause I know it's recorded.

1174
01:34:28.840 --> 01:34:30.120
You can't, it is recorded,

1175
01:34:30.120 --> 01:34:31.600
but they don't post this one

1176
01:34:31.600 --> 01:34:33.360
and they don't give access to it.

1177
01:34:33.360 --> 01:34:36.600
They only post at one o'clock.

1178
01:34:36.600 --> 01:34:37.720
All right.

1179
01:34:37.720 --> 01:34:38.560
I'm sorry.

1180
01:34:38.560 --> 01:34:39.880
You did good, Shirai.

1181
01:34:39.880 --> 01:34:40.800
You did good.

1182
01:34:40.800 --> 01:34:41.640
Yeah, you did good.

1183
01:34:41.640 --> 01:34:42.920
I'm so proud of you, Shirai.

1184
01:34:42.920 --> 01:34:44.160
That's awesome.

1185
01:34:45.280 --> 01:34:47.520
You look good for better.

1186
01:34:48.520 --> 01:34:49.360
Yeah.

1187
01:34:50.800 --> 01:34:52.000
Bye.

1188
01:34:52.000 --> 01:34:52.840
Y'all are the best.