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Hey! Hey, how's it going? I'm doing good, how are you? Good, good. How's, um, it reminds me of your

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daughter's name. Right, Avea. Avea, A, how do you spell it? A-V-E-Y-A-H. Oh, so pretty, what does it mean?

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Interesting, so I'll tell you the story behind it because there's a really cool story.

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I didn't know I was pregnant, I didn't know that I wanted to have kids, I told you,

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and then I had this dream that I was in the hospital, in labor, and gave birth to a baby

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girl and named her Avea, and I hadn't thought of that name before, but that was my dream,

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and I woke, it was so vivid that I woke up the next day and I thought,

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I am gonna go do a pregnancy test because that was so real, and I've never done a pregnancy

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test in my life, so I went to the store and got a couple tests just to make sure,

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and I did one and it was positive, and I did another one that was positive, and I

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ended up going to my doctor and she confirmed that I was like two weeks pregnant, so super new,

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hadn't even missed a period yet, and so I said to my husband, you know, I've never heard this

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name before, but if we have a little girl, can we name her Avea because that was my dream,

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and then at the same time as I was kind of asking him about that, I looked it up online,

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and it's not an easily found name because nobody really knows it, but it's a derivative from what

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it said online of the name Avea, which means God is my father. Oh, isn't that cool? Yeah,

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that is so neat to have a dream like that. Yeah, so I was like, I hope it's a girl, I hope it's a

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girl, and it was really cool because yeah, God is my father, and then her middle name's Grace,

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so Avea Grace. Yeah, that's lovely, how neat. Yeah, so I was my mom's first, and she didn't

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know she was pregnant either, and she got up, she woke up one morning and just sick to her stomach,

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so of course she went into the bathroom and, you know, threw up and all of that, and then came

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and sat down on the floor, leaned back against the side of the mattress, the bed, and she was like,

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oh, I don't know what's going on, why do I not feel good, and then all of a sudden she heard,

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pray for the child within you. She's like, what? She didn't even know she was pregnant, so

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that's how the Lord told her that I was going to be born, and funny thing is, they were going to

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name me Nicole, Ashley, but then they thought that Nicole was too common of a name, and so they

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decided to name me Ashley Nicole instead. Well, the funny thing is, is I was born in 1984, but

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Ashley was the name, was the most popular name in 1985, so that was the whole reason why they

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didn't name me Nicole, so anyway, but yeah, I go by Ashley Nicole for my business now,

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but I think that that's pretty funny, and Ashley means dweller in the ash tree meadow,

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and the ash tree is used as the tree to symbolize the mythological tree of life, and yes,

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there's a real tree of life, but what I'm referring to about mythology is like Greek mythology,

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where there's this tree of life that spans heaven and earth, that bridges heaven and earth,

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and of course, there's truth in that, and you could figure out where they got that,

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but the ash tree is what they use to symbolize the mythological tree of life, and Ashley also

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means to rise from the ashes like a phoenix, and then Nicole means victory of the people,

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so anyway, little did I know that I was being prophesied over about how the spirit would blow

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into other people's lives, and about how to help people rise from, and know how to rise from the

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ashes, you know, like a phoenix, and into

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victorious living, you know, in the Lord. So anyway, it prophesied over me, thank goodness.

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And then how the Lord uses me and speaks through my spirit into others. So anyway, that I that's

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a lovely name. So okay, remind me the spelling one more time, a v, e, y, a, h, a, v, a, h.

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Okay, because I whenever I hear somebody's name or say somebody's name, I always see

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it in my head. It does not matter how long I've known them. If I see it in my head. So

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I thought, okay, I need a spelling. So as a so I was just gonna ask you, that's how

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we got started on this. It's gonna have house of a does she go down? Good. Have a good day.

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Yeah, she's tired. We're both tired today because we went to the beach all day yesterday

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and got a lot of sun. And then today, we were both just tired today. So yeah, she went

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down. Okay, for sure. She's, she's pretty good. We have had a routine for bedtime for

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so long that she's good at bedtime. She's a good kid. Most of the time she is. Yeah,

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I know. She is sweet. So how have you been since we visited? We've been visiting a little

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bit of Marco Polo. But yeah, no, you left a really great message. I started taking notes

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about halfway through. And I'm going to go back and to the beginning and take more notes.

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But you know, it's interesting. I take a lot of notes when you speak. And I noticed that

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I don't do that very often unless I find something really profound. And then I'll take notes

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or I'll record a conversation if I'm talking to somebody who has things to say that are

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really profound. And so I find a lot of the things you say are obviously God breathed

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they're from scripture. But they're interesting concepts because they're things that I have

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not explored before in that way. Like I haven't in ways that are just different, just different

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from what you do. So anyway, it's been really interesting. You know, there's so much more

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to my story that you don't know. And so it's just interesting to listen to you teach because

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I feel like a lot of things are coming together.

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Well, that's exciting. Well, the Lord is the one who obviously always knows and just following

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leading for your life and where he wants you to and you know, friends he wants you to meet

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or ways who just wants to talk to you is it was fun to watch that that path and, you know,

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in the physical, we wouldn't have heard those stories or none any of those things in the

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spirit, you know, all of those things. So that's neat. Yeah. Okay. Well, did you have

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any, any questions or anything you wanted to start out with? Or? And how's that? How's

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been watching the sessions been going?

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They've been good. I've watched seven.

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Oh, wow.

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Eight.

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That's great.

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Where am I on now? Maybe I was on I watched the tree of life versus the tree. That's seven

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or six.

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I think it's seven.

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The three realms is eight. And then I'm guessing the purpose of journey and business with God

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and rest is nine. Okay. Okay. I'm guessing I'm probably you because I had it up. I don't

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know where it is. But anyway, I so I've watched, I watched the number I watched number one

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and then I got your message and I started at number seven. After when, or was it I feel

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like I'm holding on a second. I feel like I am going to be a lot more clear about what

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I'm talking about if I can figure this out. Okay, so I'm at 24 minutes. I just want to

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check this because I was watching one of them. I just want to find out what the what they

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were. I got to go to units. Okay, so watch the love affair. Number one. Then I went to

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session six one with God. Oh, okay. Yeah. Good. Because I think that's what you one

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with God. Is that the I'm wondering if it's this one because I was when I started making

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my notes, I didn't realize I was going to make so many. And then I so now I've got a

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format for them, but I didn't. Oh, wow. So I can't remember if I made these notes from the

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Marco Polo or if I made them from like I can

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I marked done with the ones I had finished, so I know that I've, I know which ones I finished.

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So okay.

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So I, yeah, so I did one with God, two trees, three realms, and now I'm in business, forming

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in rest.

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Oh, okay.

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So yeah, so I had some, I was sort of jotting down some questions as I was reading or watching.

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Sorry, I'm so tired.

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I feel like I'm not really on my game as I usually am, so you get to see the raw version

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of me, which is fine.

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I don't mind.

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That's the best version.

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I know.

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Those are, these are the times when if I didn't have like something to do, I would have been

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like, I'm okay just being by myself today, because you know, when you're really tired.

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Yes, yeah.

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The introversion.

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But I, yeah, exactly.

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So anyway, I was looking at, so I'm just read what I have here so I can, okay, so I go deep,

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as you know, so just be prepared.

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It's what I love.

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Take a deep breath.

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So I, when I grew up, I, my mom is very sensitive to this, so I pick a little bit of it up from

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her, because this is her big question with giving her life to the Lord, and she hasn't

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yet, really.

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But when I was growing up, we lived in a neighborhood where Paul Bernardo, I don't know if you know

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that name, he was kidnapping girls around where I lived.

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And he was, he's a notorious like killer, kind of like a Jeffrey Dahmer type of killer,

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like very notorious for what he did, it was awful.

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So my mom is totally invaded by a spirit of fear, and she's in total bondage, and my husband

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and I know that, and we're trying to be as sensitive as we can with her, but it's difficult

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to be around her sometimes.

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And the question I have is around your, you know, protection and provision is a state

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of existence, and I get that, but what about people who are in that space, and they have

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terrible circumstances?

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So my mom will often say, well, where was God when these girls were being kidnapped

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and tortured?

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And I think in that situation, like, if I was in that situation, I could be, I could

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go, okay, God's my protection and my provision, but in that situation in life, I am not actually

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being protected and provided for, in a sense, physically.

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And it's awful, what some people have to go through when you think about persecuted Christians

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and stuff like that.

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So it's a similar thing, like, how do you address something like that?

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So, um, yeah, this is what I was going to talk about.

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I wanted to do a live teaching about the, about this idea, because I mentioned it to

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you, and I was like, oh, wow, this, you could just really impact this a lot more.

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So the answer isn't what makes us feel necessarily comfortable, but it is honestly what I believe.

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And so when we are protected, when, so it's a state in which we're existing, meaning that

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it's, that it's when we're operating out of, we're coming into agreement with what

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God says is true, that, and we operate in the spirit.

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So remember what we were talking about in the three realms, in the spirit realm, the

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soul realm, and the body realm.

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So think of it kind of like courts.

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And I think that I may have mentioned that in the teaching, I'm not sure, but think of

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it kind of like a court, kind of like a, like a local court, a state court, or let's just

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say it's state court, federal court, and the Supreme Court, well, whichever court that

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we appeal to, in other words, whichever way in which we determined by our words that we

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want to frame up our world, because there are laws that operate in each one of those,

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whichever laws that we're appealing to as being true in our lives, and that we're wanting

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to utilize to our advantage, they will also be utilized to our, and be used by other people

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to our disadvantage.

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So every, all of that stuff works.

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In fact, I just got off of a Spiritual Warfare Live, in which I talked about this.

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Yeah, I tried to watch the first one, and I couldn't, so I ended up not being able to

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watch the second one, but I will eventually.

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Okay.

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Yeah.

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So I actually deleted the first one because it cut me off in the middle of the live, so

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I just started all over.

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Okay.

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Yeah.

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But anyway, so whichever court that we appeal to is the court whose verdict that we're going

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to take.

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And it's fine when it works for our advantage, but then when it works against us, then we

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have to bear the consequences of that as well.

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Let me give you an example, say for instance, okay, well, let me just use the example that

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I used in the spiritual warfare slide, that in order to know all of that, in order to

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actually just battle in spiritual warfare, there's all of these laws that we need to

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know.

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All of these ways, all of these laws that the Lord created by which the spiritual realms

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work and by which we have to battle, so to speak, in the spiritual and do battle against

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Satan, et cetera, et cetera.

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And there's whole deliverance ministries, et cetera, that spend their lives trying to

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learn all of this information.

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And there's just no end of learning to it.

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It just goes deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper, and it's just extremely

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complex.

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And so what people are always trying to do is they're always trying to learn more than

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Satan, learn more than God, learn enough to be able to use something for their advantage.

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And anyway, so if you can know something in order to battle Satan in a particular moment,

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then hey, that's great, and it worked for you.

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But what if we decide, okay, yeah, spiritual laws and learning all of that stuff is the

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way to go, but then we find ourselves in a situation in which we don't know enough, and

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he knows more than we do, and then we lose.

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We lose in that situation because we had chosen that that is the world that we're, that that

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is the court that we're going to appeal to.

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So we take whatever verdict comes from the bench, and if we decide, okay, I have to use

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law.

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I have to use these laws.

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I have to know all this stuff in order to be able to wield it and be able to fight Satan.

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Okay.

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We've learned enough laws to be able to battle him in this situation, but in this other situation,

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we didn't know as much as him, and we lost, and we suffered the consequences because that's

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the world that we appear to appeal to.

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So if we choose to operate, however, in the spirit, we're above everything.

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Everything is that we're in Christ.

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Everything is below his feet, and therefore, everything is below our feet, including Satan,

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and therefore, we don't need to know anything in order to overcome him, et cetera.

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We don't have to know all of that knowledge because there's a reason why the tree of knowledge

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of good and evil is called the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

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According to this tree, in order to provide for or to protect ourselves, we have to know

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a lot of things.

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According to the tree of life, we don't have to know anything, essentially.

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We don't have to in order to have the spiritual laws and physical laws obey us.

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We don't have to know anything.

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We just abide in the father, and we're guided by his spirit, and we operate according to

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the power and the authority that he's given us as sons and kings of God.

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So we're over and above all of these things, and we don't have to learn them.

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So I just wanted to explain that about the three realms and the courts just really quick.

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It's like appealing to a different court.

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Which court do we want to choose to appeal to?

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Because we get all of the wonderful benefits and also the cons of appealing to the different

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courts.

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Of course, in the spirit, they're all positive, except for the fact that sometimes we feel

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like we want to be in control, and we have to choose that God is the one who creates

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our results.

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And we just have to rely on and rest in him, trusting that he's always going to provide

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for and protect us.

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My point in saying all of that is if people live in fear, if people have appealed to a

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court way down here, or if they've appealed to the one in the soul or whatever, and they

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believe that they have to provide for and protect themselves by all of the things that

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they know, well, in order to be safe in my neighborhood, I need to do these types of

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things in order to, and it's risky to do these other types of things, etc.

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Even if it didn't have anything to do with the neighborhood, even it has to do with,

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I don't know, just going to the grocery store, or it didn't have to do anything necessarily

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with this exact example that we're talking about.

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It can be just this way in which they believe that the world works, is my point.

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If they believe that there are horrible, awful threats against them, and that they're subject

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to them, then they will be subject to them when those things come up based on other people's

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choices and effects and their free will.

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and then go ahead.

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Yeah, sorry.

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I was just gonna say like, I get that part,

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but what if somebody is actually in a situation like that?

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Like they're in a situation where they're being persecuted

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or they're like, they're not living in fear of it,

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but they find themselves kidnapped.

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They find themselves in a situation

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where they're being persecuted and tortured or whatever.

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Then what?

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Yeah, so that was the other thing

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that I was going to mention.

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And this one is really, really challenging

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and really difficult for us.

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And there's this, I do not fully have an answer for you,

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but this is the closest that I understand

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based off of my personal walk with the Lord.

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Like literally what I am walking out on my own life.

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And that is the fact that it doesn't matter

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what the environment looks like.

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The environment does not tell me whether or not

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I'm protected and provided for.

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God doesn't need something outside of me

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and outside of himself in order to provide me

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with protection, provide me with provision.

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And those things are not actually a threat.

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Now, yes, they are a threat to my body.

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They're, depending on what it is,

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it can be a threat to my soul,

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but it's not a threat to my actual identity.

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And so, yes, those things are terrible,

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that they would happen to me and to people.

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I've had things that happened to me,

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not that kind of a thing,

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but ways in which we're beset against,

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and we have to choose that no matter what it is

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that's going on,

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no matter what kind of attack that's coming against us,

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no matter what situation in which we're finding ourselves,

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that if God says that something is true, then it's true.

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If God says that he's providing for me

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and he's protecting me, then it's true.

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And it doesn't matter what the world says,

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that, oh, if you're in this situation, you're not protected.

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If someone is physically hurting you,

274
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you're not being protected, you're not being provided for.

275
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It's that much of a mindset shift.

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And I know that what I'm saying does not make sense

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in the world in which we live.

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That's why the things of the spirit are foolishness,

279
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it says, to seem foolishness to human logic.

280
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We trust that if God says it's true, then it's true,

281
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and it doesn't matter what the wind and the waves are saying.

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It does not matter what the environment is saying.

283
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And I know that that's very drastic.

284
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I mean, drastic, I know that that sounds drastic.

285
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I know that that's not the answer that we want,

286
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because think about it also from this perspective,

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is what other answer, and I'm not challenging you with this,

288
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I'm just mentioning that,

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what other answer would you imagine that there would be

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if there is a world, if the world exists as it currently does

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where bad things happen?

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For instance, here's a really good example.

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Christians are martyred all over the world.

294
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Peter, talking about where was,

295
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we talk about little girls being taken and raped

296
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and whatever, and we just think it's horrible.

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Let's remember how the disciples died.

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Peter was hanging upside down.

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I don't remember which disciple it was

300
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that was actually, had skin peeled from his body.

301
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John, the beloved, was put in a pot of oil to be boiled,

302
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and he survived.

303
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I don't know how that happened, but anyway, he survived.

304
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All of the disciples were, now, he survived,

305
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and of course, he was put on the Isle of Patmos,

306
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but anyway, all of the disciples were put through

307
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horrible, horrible things, and they walked with Jesus.

308
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They knew him, and they wrote books in the Bible

309
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and all of that, and we could say,

310
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well, see, Jesus didn't protect them.

311
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Jesus didn't provide for them,

312
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and what we always have to believe is that,

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no, if God says it's true, it's true.

314
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Jesus was crucified on a cross.

315
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He was, and we could talk all day about,

316
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yes, but that was on purpose and whatever.

317
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Well, why would Jesus' be on purpose and ours not be?

318
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Well, Jesus willingly gave up his life and all of that.

319
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Well, does that mean that just because Jesus

320
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willingly gave up his life, God's like,

321
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okay, well then, I'm not gonna protect you,

322
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and I can provide for you anymore.

323
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You are on your own.

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There are always all of the disciples in Jesus,

325
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and they choose to be so,

326
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are always in a state of existence

327
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in which they were being provided for and protected,

328
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but what that looks like in the earth

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is very different than the way that we've interpreted

330
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what protection and provision looks like.

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If God says that we're protected and we're provided for

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in the spirit, then it's true,

333
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but what we do is we're constantly.

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holding God against how it manifests as to whether or not

335
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he's providing for or protecting us.

336
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It's not the answer that we want to hear

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based off of the fact that we're always looking down here,

338
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where I was looking at Yahweh.

339
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Lord, is that really protecting me

340
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if I was kidnapped and raped?

341
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I mean, seriously, it's not only even where were you,

342
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it's like, is that protecting and providing for me?

343
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We can't reconcile the two.

344
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And I don't mean that the raping is the protecting

345
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and the raping is the providing

346
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and it's the manifestation of it.

347
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I just mean, we're always in a state of existence

348
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in which we're being protected and provided for.

349
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And I didn't say that, God did.

350
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But I'm having to walk this out

351
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because even for me, I'm like,

352
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Lord, all of this sounds great in theory.

353
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When you and I are talking on Zoom

354
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and I'm very comfortable in my home

355
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and you're very comfortable in your home,

356
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but when something happens,

357
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all of a sudden, all of these great theories get tested.

358
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So I'm very, very much aware of what it is that I'm saying.

359
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And there are things that God is constantly

360
00:26:08.520 --> 00:26:11.680
in my maturation in walking with Him.

361
00:26:11.680 --> 00:26:13.840
There was even stuff I was going through this week,

362
00:26:13.840 --> 00:26:17.240
technically even, I was yesterday, oh my word,

363
00:26:17.240 --> 00:26:19.240
yesterday and the day before,

364
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and really for several days,

365
00:26:21.560 --> 00:26:22.400
but it was like really,

366
00:26:22.400 --> 00:26:23.880
it just kept building and building and building.

367
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And I was like, okay, Lord,

368
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you say that I'm protected and provided for,

369
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but in this situation,

370
00:26:31.480 --> 00:26:33.440
I'm trying to not be afraid.

371
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I'm trying to not doubt you.

372
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And I shouldn't say the word try,

373
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but it was like, okay, Lord,

374
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I'm choosing to believe if you say

375
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that I'm provided for and protected, then I choose you.

376
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You say I'm provided for and protected, I choose you.

377
00:26:44.920 --> 00:26:47.360
I don't see how in the way that the situation

378
00:26:47.360 --> 00:26:49.200
is manifesting, Lord,

379
00:26:49.200 --> 00:26:51.320
that I'm being provided for and protected,

380
00:26:51.320 --> 00:26:53.280
but the wind in the waves is threatening

381
00:26:53.280 --> 00:26:56.000
to tell me something different than what you're saying.

382
00:26:56.000 --> 00:26:59.720
So if there's a dichotomy, I'm choosing you, period.

383
00:26:59.720 --> 00:27:00.760
Can I ask you?

384
00:27:00.760 --> 00:27:02.720
He's maturing me in that.

385
00:27:02.720 --> 00:27:04.240
Can I ask you?

386
00:27:04.240 --> 00:27:05.080
Yeah.

387
00:27:05.080 --> 00:27:06.120
Can I ask you what it was?

388
00:27:07.760 --> 00:27:10.600
Yeah, that was, what was that?

389
00:27:10.600 --> 00:27:12.480
That was in something that has been,

390
00:27:12.480 --> 00:27:16.480
well, the particulars aren't something

391
00:27:16.480 --> 00:27:19.160
that I'm actually able to share,

392
00:27:19.160 --> 00:27:22.800
but it is something that has been going on for a while

393
00:27:23.240 --> 00:27:25.080
that God keeps delaying.

394
00:27:25.080 --> 00:27:27.120
Well, I say God keeps delaying.

395
00:27:27.120 --> 00:27:30.160
He finally provided for it, by the way, yesterday,

396
00:27:30.160 --> 00:27:32.760
but the provision to me didn't look like provision.

397
00:27:32.760 --> 00:27:34.840
To me, it looked like delaying it.

398
00:27:34.840 --> 00:27:36.560
It just got pushed.

399
00:27:36.560 --> 00:27:37.960
I'm like, well then, Lord.

400
00:27:37.960 --> 00:27:41.480
So in other words, the pressure wasn't right now,

401
00:27:41.480 --> 00:27:42.640
it's later.

402
00:27:42.640 --> 00:27:44.800
And I'm like, Lord, it's still not being dealt with.

403
00:27:44.800 --> 00:27:47.480
And I'm like, Ashley, that is not true.

404
00:27:47.480 --> 00:27:51.320
God, even God moving it is him providing for it.

405
00:27:51.320 --> 00:27:54.440
And even God moving it is protecting you.

406
00:27:54.440 --> 00:27:57.760
But I realized that what it was that I,

407
00:27:57.760 --> 00:28:00.280
why I still didn't like the delay of it,

408
00:28:00.280 --> 00:28:01.760
instead of just squelching it

409
00:28:01.760 --> 00:28:03.680
and just dealing with it right then,

410
00:28:03.680 --> 00:28:06.840
he made it like not so much of an impending threat,

411
00:28:08.560 --> 00:28:10.400
because he shoved it out a while.

412
00:28:10.400 --> 00:28:12.040
I was like, oh my word, Lord, but it's still there,

413
00:28:12.040 --> 00:28:13.120
so I don't have to face it now,

414
00:28:13.120 --> 00:28:15.400
but I'm gonna have to face it later.

415
00:28:15.400 --> 00:28:18.200
And then I remembered, Ashley, you can't think like that,

416
00:28:18.200 --> 00:28:20.600
because if he moved it out,

417
00:28:20.600 --> 00:28:23.880
the reason you're worried is the fact that,

418
00:28:23.880 --> 00:28:26.400
is because you think that,

419
00:28:26.400 --> 00:28:30.320
that you're going to have to go from now until then,

420
00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:37.080
trying to have faith and that you,

421
00:28:37.080 --> 00:28:39.400
that God is love and that God is good

422
00:28:39.400 --> 00:28:41.600
and that he's so much love and he's so much good,

423
00:28:41.600 --> 00:28:45.320
that he is going to provide for and protect

424
00:28:45.320 --> 00:28:47.160
and take care of you in the problem,

425
00:28:48.240 --> 00:28:49.840
when right now you don't see it.

426
00:28:49.840 --> 00:28:53.120
So in other words, it's drawing out

427
00:28:53.120 --> 00:28:55.520
the amount of time in which I have to trust him.

428
00:28:56.560 --> 00:28:59.080
That's why I wasn't happy.

429
00:28:59.080 --> 00:29:01.120
I was like, okay, Ashley, you can't do that.

430
00:29:01.120 --> 00:29:03.440
God's still provided for and protected me,

431
00:29:03.440 --> 00:29:06.360
even though to me, it just looks like a delay.

432
00:29:06.360 --> 00:29:08.560
And like, yeah, but God, you didn't squelch it.

433
00:29:08.560 --> 00:29:11.920
So I'm afraid that it isn't such

434
00:29:11.920 --> 00:29:13.280
that I can share the particulars,

435
00:29:13.280 --> 00:29:15.600
but I could share like that much.

436
00:29:15.600 --> 00:29:17.560
And it's something that's been going on for a while

437
00:29:17.560 --> 00:29:20.040
and it still just didn't get resolved.

438
00:29:20.040 --> 00:29:22.600
And in fact, it felt like it was just getting bigger.

439
00:29:22.600 --> 00:29:25.040
And it's getting delayed and getting bigger

440
00:29:25.040 --> 00:29:26.800
and getting delayed and getting bigger.

441
00:29:26.800 --> 00:29:28.840
Is it your personal life?

442
00:29:28.840 --> 00:29:31.160
Yeah, yeah, it's my personal life, yeah.

443
00:29:32.240 --> 00:29:34.520
And the thing is that people don't know.

444
00:29:34.520 --> 00:29:36.080
That's another thing that's hard.

445
00:29:36.080 --> 00:29:40.760
People don't know because God's told me to rely on him

446
00:29:40.760 --> 00:29:44.040
and not to allow other people to be aware of the situation

447
00:29:44.040 --> 00:29:47.760
that I'm in and that I'm dealing with.

448
00:29:47.760 --> 00:29:50.000
Because he's like, no, Ashley, you are,

449
00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:51.440
I am your provision.

450
00:29:51.440 --> 00:29:54.160
No one else needs to know because they are not,

451
00:29:54.160 --> 00:29:55.760
if they're the way,

452
00:29:55.760 --> 00:29:58.120
if they're gonna provide you some emotional support

453
00:29:58.120 --> 00:29:59.960
or whatever through this issue.

454
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:05.000
then I will choose to provide it through them.

455
00:30:05.520 --> 00:30:08.040
But you don't go seeking it outside of me.

456
00:30:08.040 --> 00:30:09.320
He doesn't always do that,

457
00:30:09.320 --> 00:30:11.360
but he's doing that in this situation.

458
00:30:12.540 --> 00:30:13.800
So I had to ask him.

459
00:30:13.800 --> 00:30:16.180
And I'm sorry, what was your question?

460
00:30:16.180 --> 00:30:18.760
Oh, actually, you might've answered it,

461
00:30:18.760 --> 00:30:19.820
because I was like,

462
00:30:23.440 --> 00:30:25.360
I don't know, I don't know how to say this.

463
00:30:25.360 --> 00:30:27.760
I guess because I'm a really open person

464
00:30:28.480 --> 00:30:30.680
I felt like you were really open as well.

465
00:30:30.680 --> 00:30:33.640
And so when this was something personal about you,

466
00:30:33.640 --> 00:30:37.400
I was like, I wonder why she's choosing not to share it.

467
00:30:40.280 --> 00:30:42.760
Is it like a court case or is it like,

468
00:30:42.760 --> 00:30:44.280
so I'm wondering all these things

469
00:30:44.280 --> 00:30:48.380
because I thought for me, it helps me to,

470
00:30:49.320 --> 00:30:51.960
when you're talking about it in an abstract way,

471
00:30:51.960 --> 00:30:55.920
it's a little trickier for me to grasp what you're saying.

472
00:30:55.920 --> 00:30:59.800
So I guess I just went through this personal thing around,

473
00:30:59.800 --> 00:31:01.320
oh, how come she can't share it?

474
00:31:01.320 --> 00:31:03.760
So I think you kind of answered that.

475
00:31:03.760 --> 00:31:04.840
Okay, yeah.

476
00:31:04.840 --> 00:31:07.900
No, I mean, my family doesn't know.

477
00:31:07.900 --> 00:31:10.500
I mean, it's one of those things where,

478
00:31:10.500 --> 00:31:15.400
and they're where God has just been very selective

479
00:31:15.400 --> 00:31:17.200
with me on this issue,

480
00:31:17.200 --> 00:31:19.200
because there's something he's trying to teach me.

481
00:31:19.200 --> 00:31:21.640
He's teaching me how to rely on him.

482
00:31:21.640 --> 00:31:23.920
And by me telling other people,

483
00:31:24.000 --> 00:31:27.680
he was saying, Ashley, in this situation,

484
00:31:27.680 --> 00:31:31.200
you will actually make it harder for yourself

485
00:31:31.200 --> 00:31:35.840
to trust in me because you're letting other people know.

486
00:31:35.840 --> 00:31:38.760
And I want you to take advantage of this situation

487
00:31:38.760 --> 00:31:43.760
to really truly rely on me and have faith and trust.

488
00:31:45.880 --> 00:31:49.240
So it's just something, I'm actually a very private person.

489
00:31:49.240 --> 00:31:53.000
I'm very transparent, but I'm very private.

490
00:31:53.080 --> 00:31:56.400
But there are certain things, especially like this,

491
00:31:56.400 --> 00:31:59.960
that are, that the whole point of them

492
00:31:59.960 --> 00:32:02.360
is something the Lord's trying to teach me

493
00:32:02.360 --> 00:32:04.720
about how to rely on him.

494
00:32:04.720 --> 00:32:08.880
And I can't, and if I'm struggling in an area

495
00:32:08.880 --> 00:32:11.600
of not relying on other people, he's like, okay, Ashley,

496
00:32:11.600 --> 00:32:14.280
we're going to remove other people from the equation

497
00:32:14.280 --> 00:32:16.800
so that you really truly rely on me.

498
00:32:16.800 --> 00:32:19.520
So I'm sorry, it's nothing personal.

499
00:32:19.520 --> 00:32:20.520
Oh, no, no.

500
00:32:20.520 --> 00:32:22.120
This is something between me and the Lord

501
00:32:22.120 --> 00:32:25.240
because he understands it's an issue for my soul

502
00:32:25.240 --> 00:32:27.440
and he's trying to work on my soul.

503
00:32:27.440 --> 00:32:29.640
You know what, I get that because I had a situation

504
00:32:29.640 --> 00:32:34.640
like that recently that I felt him say the same thing to me.

505
00:32:35.080 --> 00:32:38.320
I had a lot of people in my life who had walked me

506
00:32:38.320 --> 00:32:40.960
through this very difficult situation that I went through

507
00:32:40.960 --> 00:32:45.960
for the last three years, like insanely difficult situation

508
00:32:46.440 --> 00:32:50.480
that I haven't told you about yet,

509
00:32:50.480 --> 00:32:53.560
but it almost did me in, like it was bad.

510
00:32:54.880 --> 00:32:58.760
And so there was part of that situation coming

511
00:32:58.760 --> 00:33:01.520
at the tail end of it that I really felt

512
00:33:01.520 --> 00:33:05.320
that I needed to do, and I felt like God

513
00:33:05.320 --> 00:33:08.520
was allowing me the space to do it,

514
00:33:08.520 --> 00:33:12.600
but it was, it felt weird because it was like,

515
00:33:12.600 --> 00:33:14.800
I was supposed to do it on my own.

516
00:33:15.720 --> 00:33:17.160
I was supposed to only do it

517
00:33:17.160 --> 00:33:19.240
if I wasn't going to tell anybody about it

518
00:33:19.240 --> 00:33:21.360
and I wasn't going to go through the process

519
00:33:21.360 --> 00:33:23.760
of unpacking it with anybody,

520
00:33:23.760 --> 00:33:25.400
which is what I would always do.

521
00:33:27.160 --> 00:33:29.320
So I didn't tell my husband.

522
00:33:29.320 --> 00:33:32.160
I didn't tell, like, I see a therapist,

523
00:33:32.160 --> 00:33:34.600
I didn't tell her, I didn't tell anybody.

524
00:33:35.600 --> 00:33:38.520
One friend actually asked me about it

525
00:33:38.520 --> 00:33:41.360
and she just came out with a question,

526
00:33:41.360 --> 00:33:43.080
so I didn't want to lie to her,

527
00:33:43.080 --> 00:33:44.400
and I just kind of said to her,

528
00:33:44.400 --> 00:33:46.000
same thing that you just said,

529
00:33:46.000 --> 00:33:49.680
I feel like God has asked me to keep this just to myself

530
00:33:49.680 --> 00:33:53.240
and that I've needed to just work on this,

531
00:33:53.240 --> 00:33:55.080
but just on my own to work through it

532
00:33:55.080 --> 00:33:56.360
and not talk to anybody about it,

533
00:33:56.360 --> 00:33:59.160
not regurgitate the information or ruminate over it,

534
00:33:59.160 --> 00:34:01.400
but just to be, I needed to get

535
00:34:01.400 --> 00:34:04.080
to a place of clarity around it.

536
00:34:04.080 --> 00:34:07.840
And I knew that if I was just with him,

537
00:34:07.840 --> 00:34:11.800
I would gain more clarity than if I went to other people

538
00:34:11.800 --> 00:34:16.040
who all are strong Christians who want the best for me,

539
00:34:16.040 --> 00:34:18.360
who have great insight,

540
00:34:18.360 --> 00:34:21.480
but I just knew that I wasn't supposed

541
00:34:21.480 --> 00:34:23.719
to tell anybody about this.

542
00:34:23.719 --> 00:34:26.159
And I thought, at some point it could come back to me

543
00:34:26.159 --> 00:34:28.840
and somebody might find out,

544
00:34:28.840 --> 00:34:31.520
but at this moment,

545
00:34:31.520 --> 00:34:34.360
I just felt like it was exactly very similar

546
00:34:34.360 --> 00:34:35.960
to the situation you're explaining.

547
00:34:35.960 --> 00:34:37.560
It was just between me and him

548
00:34:37.560 --> 00:34:39.280
and he was trying to teach me

549
00:34:39.280 --> 00:34:40.320
that I could make a choice

550
00:34:40.320 --> 00:34:42.560
without getting advice from other people.

551
00:34:42.560 --> 00:34:46.199
I could unpack it with him and not with other people,

552
00:34:46.199 --> 00:34:49.320
which other people would gladly give me their two cents,

553
00:34:49.320 --> 00:34:51.239
but it wasn't about that.

554
00:34:51.239 --> 00:34:52.960
It was about me trusting him.

555
00:34:52.960 --> 00:34:55.320
So I absolutely understand, yeah.

556
00:34:55.320 --> 00:34:57.440
So when you said that, I was like,

557
00:34:57.440 --> 00:34:58.600
oh yeah, I get that for sure.

558
00:34:58.600 --> 00:35:00.080
I also understood, yeah.

559
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:07.800
Yeah, I know. I've actually thought a lot about this recently. I'm like, oh my word,

560
00:35:07.800 --> 00:35:13.200
I think this would help people in the rest of them so much. Because I'd understand when

561
00:35:13.200 --> 00:35:21.720
I'm talking about things like, I'm talking about extreme situations that were fully sustained

562
00:35:21.720 --> 00:35:28.680
in by abiding in him and that his character can fully, his character can fully sustain

563
00:35:28.680 --> 00:35:36.280
this in all situations. And we can't throw something too big at him where it would crumble

564
00:35:36.280 --> 00:35:41.360
and the support system would vanish. And so I thought, oh, it would be great if they could

565
00:35:41.360 --> 00:35:46.720
know that I'm doing this, that if they could hear about it while I'm going through it,

566
00:35:46.720 --> 00:35:50.920
as opposed to hindsight 2020 and, oh my goodness, I've already went through this. No, no, no.

567
00:35:50.920 --> 00:35:57.560
That they could see me while I'm doing it so that they could be encouraged because otherwise

568
00:35:57.560 --> 00:36:05.800
it can sound like that they're sharing their stuff with me and they don't, and they see

569
00:36:05.800 --> 00:36:11.400
me like, say, oh yeah, I've done that. And I've been there before, but they don't understand,

570
00:36:11.400 --> 00:36:15.080
but they're like, yeah, but what does Ashley look like when she's in the middle of it?

571
00:36:15.080 --> 00:36:20.440
You know, I thought this is a really good opportunity. And I was like, no, like, okay.

572
00:36:20.440 --> 00:36:26.840
I keep asking him though. I was like, are you sure? I just asked him again. So anyway,

573
00:36:26.840 --> 00:36:30.360
so far it's been a no. Like I said, my family doesn't know. My friends don't know.

574
00:36:31.800 --> 00:36:38.200
Yeah. No, I get that for sure. And at some point I will share, not that part of the story,

575
00:36:38.200 --> 00:36:45.720
but I will share the three years of story when the time's right. I've kind of gone through this

576
00:36:45.720 --> 00:36:54.840
period lately of contemplating vulnerability because I have historically been not a very

577
00:36:54.840 --> 00:37:02.520
vulnerable person. Then I went into the extreme other side of it through this torturous situation

578
00:37:02.520 --> 00:37:11.160
that I went through. And I was so vulnerable that like, I just, everything was spilling out.

579
00:37:12.520 --> 00:37:19.880
But it was, it was really, it was really messed up. So it was a good thing, but now I'm like the

580
00:37:19.880 --> 00:37:25.320
pendulum swinging back into the middle of what is, what is a healthy amount of vulnerability?

581
00:37:25.320 --> 00:37:35.400
Because that amount of vulnerability was coerced and it was not healthy. It was not for my benefit

582
00:37:35.400 --> 00:37:42.760
as much as it was for other people's benefit. So I am sort of trying to figure out the happy

583
00:37:42.760 --> 00:37:49.640
medium between being vulnerable and sharing parts of my life with people and also not sharing too

584
00:37:49.640 --> 00:37:56.920
much. Cause I've, I noticed I get vulnerability hangovers where the next vulnerability hangovers.

585
00:37:56.920 --> 00:38:04.920
So like I'll get off a call or the next day I'll wake up and be like, Oh my God. I love it.

586
00:38:05.240 --> 00:38:11.800
A vulnerability hangover. That's great. I love it. I can use that. That's what it feels like.

587
00:38:15.160 --> 00:38:22.520
So I, like even one of our calls, one of the Marco Polas I left you, I noticed I had a

588
00:38:22.520 --> 00:38:28.680
vulnerability hangover the next day. Cause I'd said something to you and I was like,

589
00:38:28.680 --> 00:38:34.680
why did I say that? Like, that was, I started to kind of come down on myself about it. And,

590
00:38:36.040 --> 00:38:40.440
and then I was like, okay, God, like, does it really matter in the grand scheme of things?

591
00:38:40.440 --> 00:38:47.160
Like who cares? It's not a big deal. She's going to think what she's going to think and whatever

592
00:38:47.160 --> 00:38:53.320
it is, it's going to be that. And it's not based on me. It's based on her, right? Like my opinion

593
00:38:53.720 --> 00:38:59.960
is not based on you. Right. Yeah. So I kind of worked on that and it gave me another opportunity

594
00:38:59.960 --> 00:39:06.680
for that, but I noticed that's something that I do. I get, I do still have a bit of a concern of

595
00:39:06.680 --> 00:39:14.600
what other people think. So I, I'm in this weird space where I'm just not sure how much to give

596
00:39:14.600 --> 00:39:25.080
and how much to keep back. Yeah. Well, you know, it's we just listened to the spirit. So what does

597
00:39:25.080 --> 00:39:33.480
the, are we, you know, in the moment that we, and that we don't operate by our soul of what is it

598
00:39:33.480 --> 00:39:38.600
that I want out of this situation I'm with so-and-so what, what do I want to pull from the

599
00:39:38.600 --> 00:39:47.720
situation so that they, what do I desire to, how do I desire to trigger or manipulate the situation?

600
00:39:47.720 --> 00:39:52.920
I understand those are very negative, quantitative words. And so I'm not saying that we actually

601
00:39:52.920 --> 00:39:58.280
think that negatively in them, but sorry, I might, I'm hoping that my dog doesn't. And

602
00:39:58.280 --> 00:39:59.800
my friend just pulled back into you.

603
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.400
left for a second, she pulled back in. So hopefully my dog will not bark. If she

604
00:40:04.400 --> 00:40:10.000
does, I have the remote and I am ready. So anyway.

605
00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:14.000
You turn the dog off with the remote? Is that how it works?

606
00:40:14.000 --> 00:40:15.000
What did you say?

607
00:40:15.000 --> 00:40:18.000
The remote turns the dog off and stops the dog from barking?

608
00:40:18.000 --> 00:40:23.000
Basically, yeah. So she, I took her, that was a very

609
00:40:23.000 --> 00:40:29.000
special gift that the Lord gave me to allow her to go to obedience

610
00:40:29.000 --> 00:40:33.000
training for two weeks. It was a two-week boarding school training,

611
00:40:33.000 --> 00:40:39.000
board and train. And I am so pleased. She did so good.

612
00:40:39.000 --> 00:40:45.000
And she's 10 years old, so she's 70. And she, you can't,

613
00:40:45.000 --> 00:40:47.000
old dogs can't learn new tricks.

614
00:40:47.000 --> 00:40:48.000
That's awesome.

615
00:40:48.000 --> 00:40:50.000
She did really good. I know, she did really good.

616
00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:55.000
Okay, so let's see if I can remind myself.

617
00:40:55.000 --> 00:40:57.000
I don't know, I can't see her yet.

618
00:40:57.000 --> 00:40:58.000
Okay.

619
00:40:58.000 --> 00:40:59.000
Okay.

620
00:40:59.000 --> 00:41:03.000
So I'm going to go ahead and come back with, like, I gotta be prepared.

621
00:41:03.000 --> 00:41:09.000
Okay.

622
00:41:09.000 --> 00:41:12.000
So we're being vulnerable. So it's important that we don't think, okay,

623
00:41:12.000 --> 00:41:13.000
so.

624
00:41:13.000 --> 00:41:16.000
I have a desire of something that I want to get out of this situation.

625
00:41:16.000 --> 00:41:21.000
I desire them to either.

626
00:41:21.000 --> 00:41:22.000
Feel better about themselves,

627
00:41:22.000 --> 00:41:25.000
which is why I'm choosing to be vulnerable and like commiserate like,

628
00:41:26.000 --> 00:41:27.000
You know,

629
00:41:27.000 --> 00:41:33.000
I'm being able to talk about this stuff with them whenever and wherever.

630
00:41:33.000 --> 00:41:34.000
We could have that,

631
00:41:34.000 --> 00:41:36.000
that kind of an agenda, something that we desire to get out of the

632
00:41:36.000 --> 00:41:41.000
situation. Again, all of this can be from a very.

633
00:41:41.000 --> 00:41:43.000
God, what we think of is very Godly perspective.

634
00:41:43.000 --> 00:41:44.000
Oh, I desire to help someone,

635
00:41:44.000 --> 00:41:51.000
or we could desire to be getting help for ourselves.

636
00:41:51.000 --> 00:41:54.000
I desire for them to, for so-and-so to think such and such about me,

637
00:41:54.000 --> 00:42:01.000
that we can be helpful to them.

638
00:42:01.000 --> 00:42:04.000
And I think that if it's important that we,

639
00:42:04.000 --> 00:42:06.000
that the more and more that we operate.

640
00:42:06.000 --> 00:42:08.000
In rest, the more important that we,

641
00:42:08.000 --> 00:42:13.000
the more often that we operate in spirit.

642
00:42:13.000 --> 00:42:16.000
And we remember our identity and remember who it is that we are.

643
00:42:16.000 --> 00:42:19.000
They're less likely that we are to be open and vulnerable.

644
00:42:19.000 --> 00:42:20.000
Where we regret it later.

645
00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:21.000
And so, you know,

646
00:42:21.000 --> 00:42:27.000
I think it's important that we remember that in the moment.

647
00:42:27.000 --> 00:42:33.000
We were sharing it because we had a particular.

648
00:42:33.000 --> 00:42:37.000
Outcome that we were trying to get from having said the thing.

649
00:42:37.000 --> 00:42:42.000
That we were trying to get for ourselves. I want to feel loved.

650
00:42:42.000 --> 00:42:44.000
I want to feel connected with, I want them to understand.

651
00:42:44.000 --> 00:42:47.000
I want them to maybe they'll have advice for me, maybe, but whatever.

652
00:42:47.000 --> 00:42:49.000
I want to feel loved. I want them to feel connected.

653
00:42:49.000 --> 00:42:50.000
I want them to feel connected.

654
00:42:50.000 --> 00:42:56.000
I want them to feel that we are.

655
00:42:56.000 --> 00:42:58.000
Abandoned alone and protected and provided for.

656
00:42:58.000 --> 00:43:01.000
And we're trying to use the situation to get something for ourselves.

657
00:43:01.000 --> 00:43:04.000
Then that if we are vulnerable, because we're doing that,

658
00:43:04.000 --> 00:43:05.000
we can often have.

659
00:43:05.000 --> 00:43:06.000
Hangover.

660
00:43:06.000 --> 00:43:11.000
You know, later we can often have that, that regret.

661
00:43:11.000 --> 00:43:13.000
So what I have learned to do is just to look,

662
00:43:13.000 --> 00:43:16.000
just sense the spirit in the moment.

663
00:43:16.000 --> 00:43:17.000
And I can do that by saying, okay,

664
00:43:17.000 --> 00:43:19.000
I'm going to do this. I'm going to do that.

665
00:43:19.000 --> 00:43:28.000
Or do I feel any, any.

666
00:43:28.000 --> 00:43:30.000
You know, any spiritual, spiritual, not soulish,

667
00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:33.000
but a spiritual draw to say, or to open up in a particular way.

668
00:43:33.000 --> 00:43:35.000
Then I just do my, do my best.

669
00:43:35.000 --> 00:43:36.000
In this situation,

670
00:43:36.000 --> 00:43:39.000
what I think that the spirit is saying is think the spirit is doing and

671
00:43:39.000 --> 00:43:41.000
then do what you did, which is.

672
00:43:41.000 --> 00:43:43.000
Just let it lie. Just let it be there.

673
00:43:43.000 --> 00:43:44.000
And I think that, you know,

674
00:43:44.000 --> 00:43:45.000
that's what I've learned to do.

675
00:43:45.000 --> 00:43:47.000
And I think that's what I've learned to do.

676
00:43:47.000 --> 00:43:50.000
So I determined that even after the fact, okay, God, I,

677
00:43:50.000 --> 00:43:52.000
I believe that maybe I quote unquote messed up.

678
00:43:52.000 --> 00:44:00.000
I quote unquote, I, I am.

679
00:44:00.000 --> 00:44:03.000
I believe that I was trying to get something out of this situation,

680
00:44:03.000 --> 00:44:04.000
believing that I wasn't provided for you.

681
00:44:04.000 --> 00:44:05.000
Weren't going to protect me or whatever.

682
00:44:05.000 --> 00:44:07.000
And that's why I was doing it.

683
00:44:07.000 --> 00:44:08.000
Oh, sorry. Here.

684
00:44:08.000 --> 00:44:09.000
Here she comes.

685
00:44:09.000 --> 00:44:10.000
No, stay.

686
00:44:11.000 --> 00:44:12.000
Hey,

687
00:44:12.000 --> 00:44:18.000
I just held held the thing down, which lets her know, Hey,

688
00:44:18.000 --> 00:44:21.000
there's no reason to be afraid.

689
00:44:21.000 --> 00:44:22.000
Training.

690
00:44:22.000 --> 00:44:29.000
She has a really, really sweet dog, but she's, she, she,

691
00:44:29.000 --> 00:44:32.000
I believe that she was abused before she came.

692
00:44:32.000 --> 00:44:36.000
And, and, and so she got hurt.

693
00:44:36.000 --> 00:44:41.000
I don't think we have any more questions.

694
00:44:41.000 --> 00:44:43.000
I didn't even read your note. Did you need something?

695
00:44:43.000 --> 00:44:44.000
We sure.

696
00:44:44.000 --> 00:44:45.000
Sure. Yeah.

697
00:44:45.000 --> 00:44:46.000
The spicy chicken sandwiches.

698
00:44:46.000 --> 00:44:47.000
Yeah.

699
00:44:47.000 --> 00:44:53.000
Thank you.

700
00:44:53.000 --> 00:44:55.000
Sorry. She's going to grow grab us and, and.

701
00:44:55.000 --> 00:44:56.000
In the supper.

702
00:44:56.000 --> 00:45:01.000
Anyway, so that.

703
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:02.760
And so I didn't want you to be worried that, that, um,

704
00:45:04.280 --> 00:45:05.520
Oh, no, it's all good.

705
00:45:06.200 --> 00:45:09.640
Sorry. Okay. So she's leaving. I didn't want you to be worried that, uh,

706
00:45:09.680 --> 00:45:11.800
cause I other take other people's confidence, you know,

707
00:45:11.800 --> 00:45:16.440
and all of these calls very, very quickly. So if, if people can hear me,

708
00:45:16.720 --> 00:45:20.120
they can't, I make sure that they can't hear that.

709
00:45:20.120 --> 00:45:24.080
They don't know like what on earth someone could have been asking you're

710
00:45:24.080 --> 00:45:27.080
talking to me. In other words, I don't have specifics. This is just,

711
00:45:27.400 --> 00:45:29.080
just general stuff that I'm saying.

712
00:45:29.240 --> 00:45:31.720
And then they can't hear what other people are telling me.

713
00:45:31.760 --> 00:45:34.240
So I just wanted to let you know that I'm very careful about that.

714
00:45:34.560 --> 00:45:38.000
Is she, um, is she a friend of yours or a client that you're staying with?

715
00:45:38.520 --> 00:45:43.440
Yeah, no, she's a friend. She's like a big sister to me.

716
00:45:43.960 --> 00:45:46.720
She's my mom's age, but she's single. And so we, we just,

717
00:45:46.720 --> 00:45:48.040
we just act like sisters though.

718
00:45:48.320 --> 00:45:53.320
Oh, that's cute. I love that. Yeah. I, um, you know, it's funny at the,

719
00:45:53.520 --> 00:45:57.240
the place where I said what I said was at the end,

720
00:45:57.280 --> 00:46:01.600
close to an end of a Marco Polo, like tempted to,

721
00:46:02.160 --> 00:46:04.960
I got this feeling of, yeah, but I'm like,

722
00:46:05.000 --> 00:46:08.800
I just talked for like 10 minutes. I'm not going to delete it all now,

723
00:46:09.080 --> 00:46:12.480
but I'm like, how do I backtrack and say,

724
00:46:15.800 --> 00:46:19.800
yeah, but then I, yeah, yeah. You just let it go.

725
00:46:20.160 --> 00:46:23.880
Yeah. I just let it go. Unless I feel something very, very heavy on me.

726
00:46:24.240 --> 00:46:28.800
If I felt something very heavy and where I believe that it's actually in my

727
00:46:28.800 --> 00:46:31.400
spirit, not my soul, not my soul. That's afraid,

728
00:46:31.680 --> 00:46:35.960
but my spirit that actually, um, that, that it's convicting me,

729
00:46:36.240 --> 00:46:41.000
I'll delete the Marco Polo. I've done that. Um, but if it,

730
00:46:41.040 --> 00:46:45.160
if it's just kind of like something like, um, oh, well, I'm not really sure.

731
00:46:45.320 --> 00:46:49.640
Oh, I don't know about all that. For me personally, I just let it go.

732
00:46:49.800 --> 00:46:53.840
And I'm just like, okay, Ashley, just rest. It's all okay.

733
00:46:54.320 --> 00:46:58.760
You know, I, um, I, because again, I'm appealing,

734
00:46:58.800 --> 00:47:01.440
I choose to appeal to this court, not to be,

735
00:47:01.960 --> 00:47:06.880
I choose that God, uh, that, that God and, um,

736
00:47:06.920 --> 00:47:09.720
in his will, um, I'm choosing that.

737
00:47:10.000 --> 00:47:14.920
I allow his will to pervade every area of my life and that it all is going to be

738
00:47:14.920 --> 00:47:17.960
okay. And that he's going to work everything out, out for good. And,

739
00:47:18.360 --> 00:47:22.240
and as opposed to me trying to, um,

740
00:47:22.560 --> 00:47:27.040
manipulate everything, Oh, I said something, I did something. So let's,

741
00:47:27.080 --> 00:47:31.880
let's delete it. Let's control the situation. Let's whatever. Yeah. Uh, anyway,

742
00:47:31.880 --> 00:47:34.840
it all goes back to the, the, um,

743
00:47:34.960 --> 00:47:38.880
whether or not I believe that what God says is true and I'm operating out of my

744
00:47:38.880 --> 00:47:42.720
identity and the spirit, or I believe that I'm alone abandoned and I'm, I'm,

745
00:47:42.840 --> 00:47:47.320
I'm afraid. So as, as to what it is that I shouldn't, shouldn't do.

746
00:47:47.320 --> 00:47:51.040
And even if I do operate down here, I'm just like, well, you know,

747
00:47:51.760 --> 00:47:54.840
it'll all be okay. I've done that a lot.

748
00:47:57.840 --> 00:48:01.480
Oh, it's just insane that a lot of times I've noticed that I will say something

749
00:48:01.480 --> 00:48:05.920
that I thought was wrong or messed up or, um, like my lies,

750
00:48:05.920 --> 00:48:08.800
my teaching lies, I, my teaching lies that I have in there,

751
00:48:08.800 --> 00:48:10.760
the ones that you're listening to in the rest intensive,

752
00:48:11.040 --> 00:48:13.880
I thought that this weren't good enough to keep up, um,

753
00:48:13.880 --> 00:48:18.880
for other people to watch. And so I tried to redo them, um,

754
00:48:19.360 --> 00:48:24.440
few months ago and they just turned out awful and everyone, and not everyone,

755
00:48:24.440 --> 00:48:27.920
but several people said, yeah, this weren't as good as the first ones.

756
00:48:27.920 --> 00:48:31.440
I was like, really? Cause the first month I just thought was really that those,

757
00:48:31.640 --> 00:48:33.720
you know, just weren't good enough. And I,

758
00:48:33.720 --> 00:48:37.200
and I messed up in there and I went on all of these rabbit trails and I did

759
00:48:37.200 --> 00:48:40.520
this and I was just tearing it apart. And, um,

760
00:48:40.640 --> 00:48:44.520
but what I wasn't giving it credit for is the fact that I was blowing in the

761
00:48:44.520 --> 00:48:46.360
spirit. And,

762
00:48:46.400 --> 00:48:51.400
and so when I tried to create videos that,

763
00:48:51.720 --> 00:48:55.720
that with them and, uh, and thought, okay, I have an agenda.

764
00:48:56.160 --> 00:48:59.280
I did it out of the soul and the,

765
00:48:59.600 --> 00:49:02.280
the spirit of them was just lost.

766
00:49:02.880 --> 00:49:04.800
And so I scrapped all of the new videos,

767
00:49:04.800 --> 00:49:08.880
kept the old ones and put them up permanently. But anyway,

768
00:49:09.800 --> 00:49:14.000
yeah. Um, no, that's, that's interesting. I love that. And, uh,

769
00:49:14.520 --> 00:49:18.760
I cannot remember what I was going to say in response, but,

770
00:49:19.480 --> 00:49:21.920
um, anyway,

771
00:49:23.760 --> 00:49:27.720
yeah, I'm just, I kinda, Oh, I know. I was going to say, it's like,

772
00:49:27.760 --> 00:49:31.320
in your picture, it's almost like above the veil and below the veil,

773
00:49:32.240 --> 00:49:35.680
you know, like the spirit is above the veil and then everything else is below.

774
00:49:35.760 --> 00:49:38.400
So it's like, are we operating above the veil or below the veil?

775
00:49:39.120 --> 00:49:42.000
It's just kind of like, that's the way I look at it. Um,

776
00:49:42.800 --> 00:49:44.760
I think in pictures and you draw pictures,

777
00:49:44.760 --> 00:49:48.280
which is fantastic because that's the way I think. Um, yeah.

778
00:49:48.880 --> 00:49:53.800
I wanted to ask you, what is it's a type in a shadow mean?

779
00:49:54.800 --> 00:49:55.840
Oh, it's, um,

780
00:49:56.080 --> 00:49:59.680
it's not in Hebrews where it talks about the things of earth are types and

781
00:49:59.680 --> 00:50:00.520
shadow.

782
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:06.360
Yeah, I don't have a way to look it up right now, but yeah, if you just Google something

783
00:50:06.360 --> 00:50:10.040
like types and shadows as scripture or something like that, it'll tell you the reference and

784
00:50:10.040 --> 00:50:15.880
it talks about the fact that, that, that creation is the things that are, are in creation, whether

785
00:50:15.880 --> 00:50:23.600
they be laws or whether they be actual physical, tangible things or ways that, that things

786
00:50:23.600 --> 00:50:31.200
or, or, or people relate to one another, all of those things are types and shadows of what

787
00:50:31.200 --> 00:50:34.000
is actually true and real in, in the spirit.

788
00:50:34.000 --> 00:50:40.200
So say for instance, the temples of the temple on earth was a type in shadow of the house

789
00:50:40.200 --> 00:50:43.800
of God and the way that the house of God works in the visible realm.

790
00:50:43.800 --> 00:50:48.400
And we don't mean that there, and it doesn't mean that there's actually a temple in the

791
00:50:48.400 --> 00:50:52.520
heavenly realm that looks that has like this outer court and center court, and we're going

792
00:50:52.520 --> 00:50:54.480
to be able to like walk through it.

793
00:50:54.480 --> 00:51:01.520
It means that the spirit, that this principles that operate within abiding in God and interacting

794
00:51:01.520 --> 00:51:05.040
and us interacting with each other and us being able to approach the Lord and all of

795
00:51:05.040 --> 00:51:12.280
that operates like we could, like in the physical realm, there was an outer court and you walked

796
00:51:12.280 --> 00:51:15.960
from the outer court into an inner court, and then there was the table of shoe bread

797
00:51:15.960 --> 00:51:16.960
and there was the altar of incense.

798
00:51:16.960 --> 00:51:20.680
And then you walk through a veil in order to see the Ark of the covenant and those were

799
00:51:20.680 --> 00:51:27.880
all just physical pictures of actually something that we don't, that can't, that there is no

800
00:51:27.880 --> 00:51:33.400
physical picture or representation that there is no physical, physical thing in the spirit

801
00:51:33.400 --> 00:51:34.400
realm.

802
00:51:34.400 --> 00:51:39.720
And so it gives us something, it makes something that's invisible, visible for us to at least

803
00:51:39.720 --> 00:51:47.440
grasp an idea of that's what it means by type in the shadow or like Aristotle's was it Aristotle

804
00:51:47.440 --> 00:51:53.000
or was it Plato's, the cave, do you remember him talking about the cave where all of those

805
00:51:53.000 --> 00:51:56.920
men were lined up looking at the, at the shadows, but then they go out and they see the real

806
00:51:56.920 --> 00:51:57.920
thing.

807
00:51:57.920 --> 00:51:58.920
That's what it is.

808
00:51:58.920 --> 00:52:02.240
It's like, okay, well, we think that that shadow is the duck, but it's not actually

809
00:52:02.240 --> 00:52:07.600
a duck and the spirit, it's three dimensional and it's technicolor and it's, you know.

810
00:52:07.600 --> 00:52:08.600
Yeah.

811
00:52:08.600 --> 00:52:09.600
Cool.

812
00:52:09.600 --> 00:52:14.280
No, I made some notes there.

813
00:52:14.280 --> 00:52:21.320
So I have a personal question for you.

814
00:52:21.320 --> 00:52:23.240
I am super curious.

815
00:52:23.240 --> 00:52:30.440
This is just a curiosity thing because the way I see you, you're a beautiful woman.

816
00:52:30.440 --> 00:52:32.320
You've got so much going for you.

817
00:52:32.320 --> 00:52:40.280
You've obviously had this amazing relationship with the Lord and I just, I would feel like

818
00:52:40.280 --> 00:52:45.200
men would be lining up to marry you and you're not married.

819
00:52:45.200 --> 00:52:49.080
And I was just like, is that a choice or is that something like you just haven't met the

820
00:52:49.080 --> 00:52:50.080
right person?

821
00:52:50.080 --> 00:52:54.320
Or I was just kind of curious about that, if you're open.

822
00:52:54.320 --> 00:52:55.320
Oh, sure.

823
00:52:55.320 --> 00:52:56.320
Yeah.

824
00:52:56.320 --> 00:52:59.680
Thanks for the compliment, by the way, I appreciate it.

825
00:52:59.680 --> 00:53:02.320
So yeah, I did want to be married.

826
00:53:02.320 --> 00:53:06.200
In fact, that was my, that was my life goal.

827
00:53:06.200 --> 00:53:14.680
I wanted to be married, six children, live in a farmhouse, homeschool all of my children,

828
00:53:14.680 --> 00:53:15.680
that kind of thing.

829
00:53:15.680 --> 00:53:16.680
That was the life I wanted to live.

830
00:53:16.680 --> 00:53:17.680
I did not want a career.

831
00:53:17.680 --> 00:53:19.680
I did not want to have anything to do with business.

832
00:53:19.680 --> 00:53:22.680
I didn't want to go to college, none of that.

833
00:53:22.680 --> 00:53:30.160
So here I am, 36, having a degree, been a turnaround business consultant, teaching everybody

834
00:53:30.160 --> 00:53:36.000
else how to run businesses and traveling around the United States in my car with my little

835
00:53:36.000 --> 00:53:37.000
dog.

836
00:53:37.000 --> 00:53:40.160
It was not what I planned.

837
00:53:40.160 --> 00:53:52.320
And the reason I tell you that is, my life is what it looks like when God has completely

838
00:53:52.320 --> 00:53:54.600
redeemed something.

839
00:53:54.600 --> 00:54:05.560
And when he just has, how beautiful that freedom can look, because I was enslaved in an obsession.

840
00:54:06.120 --> 00:54:11.560
It was my, while other people dream of like starting a business, or they dream of becoming

841
00:54:11.560 --> 00:54:16.760
a singer, becoming an actor, where it literally consumes them.

842
00:54:16.760 --> 00:54:22.200
What everybody else stumbled into in life, those were what, those were the things that

843
00:54:22.200 --> 00:54:24.320
consumed me.

844
00:54:24.320 --> 00:54:26.760
And it was very unhealthy.

845
00:54:26.760 --> 00:54:36.000
And so the Lord had to free me from being enslaved to those ideals and those dreams

846
00:54:36.000 --> 00:54:38.920
and all of that.

847
00:54:38.920 --> 00:54:46.880
And I am so very glad, so very glad that he did, because I now understand, I understand

848
00:54:46.880 --> 00:54:49.560
now how free that I am in the Lord.

849
00:54:49.560 --> 00:54:54.200
And then so that now when those things, when I have those things, when I do get married

850
00:54:54.200 --> 00:54:59.480
one day, when, you know, when I do have children, that the, that it will just be a,

851
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:07.200
I'll just be able to receive it effortlessly instead of it as being enslaved by it.

852
00:55:08.000 --> 00:55:15.360
Now, so yes, I would do want to be married and the Lord said that I am going to be married

853
00:55:15.360 --> 00:55:23.440
at some day, he told me, but it just hasn't happened yet. So that's the short answer.

854
00:55:23.440 --> 00:55:32.960
Now, so it is by choice, stay. So it is by choice, but it's by choice in the fact that

855
00:55:32.960 --> 00:55:39.440
I chose to do whatever it is that the Lord wants me to do. And that I, I, if guys asked me out,

856
00:55:39.440 --> 00:55:45.200
I'm going to go on a date, I would go on a date. And then when they, when they asked me, sorry,

857
00:55:45.200 --> 00:55:50.480
if the guys asked me out and the Lord tells me to go, then I go. If they, he tells me not to go,

858
00:55:50.480 --> 00:55:56.800
then I don't. And that's, that's how, just how I do it. And I'm trying to think if there was

859
00:55:56.800 --> 00:56:01.840
anything else I was going to say about all of that. I thought that would help answer your question.

860
00:56:02.480 --> 00:56:09.040
Um, so I'm not averse to it. I, it just, it just hadn't happened yet. The Lord also,

861
00:56:09.040 --> 00:56:13.520
I've watched him be extremely protective of me. There were certain things that he

862
00:56:13.520 --> 00:56:21.840
wanted to accomplish in my life. So, um, there, um, and I don't even know how to explain what

863
00:56:21.840 --> 00:56:26.080
I'm trying to say, but I have watched and other people have noticed it as well. They're just like,

864
00:56:26.080 --> 00:56:29.520
actually, you know, why aren't you, why aren't you dating? Why aren't you this? Why aren't you that?

865
00:56:29.520 --> 00:56:35.200
I'm like, well, you know, I, I go according to whatever it is the Lord says that he wants me to

866
00:56:35.200 --> 00:56:41.040
do. And he's just put me in an environment in which I just haven't, um, I don't know.

867
00:56:42.000 --> 00:56:49.600
I just, it's just not a whole, a, um, I'm just not dating and right now. And well, I, I, um,

868
00:56:50.480 --> 00:56:56.000
yeah, sorry. I'm trying to just kind of pull a thing because I'm 36 and I'm trying to think,

869
00:56:56.000 --> 00:57:00.320
okay, like if I were to go all the way back, what are all of the details that would help

870
00:57:00.320 --> 00:57:05.760
answer her question? But I guess that's basically it. Did that answer? Yeah. No,

871
00:57:05.760 --> 00:57:10.320
thank you for sharing. I appreciate it. I, it was more of a curiosity thing and I didn't want to,

872
00:57:11.040 --> 00:57:15.040
I didn't want to ask you sooner cause I felt like, I know it's a really personal question

873
00:57:15.040 --> 00:57:21.440
and yeah, it was, it was more curiosity. I didn't know if you'd chosen it or if it was just that,

874
00:57:21.440 --> 00:57:27.520
I mean, I didn't meet my husband until I was 33 and even then I was not ready to be married.

875
00:57:28.320 --> 00:57:34.320
I wasn't ready to be married until, well, I don't know if I'm ready to be married even now, but

876
00:57:34.560 --> 00:57:42.400
I'm, I certainly wasn't ready the last, um, we're celebrating our eight year anniversary tomorrow.

877
00:57:42.400 --> 00:57:52.000
And maybe in the last year, maybe I've kind of been ready, but that's interesting. Yeah. I,

878
00:57:52.000 --> 00:57:56.800
I was, when I got married, if the Lord would have kind of given me revelation,

879
00:57:56.800 --> 00:58:02.240
I think I really wanted to be with somebody who I felt loved me and who would protect me and

880
00:58:02.800 --> 00:58:06.880
I don't know. I just, I didn't feel worthy enough that anyone would ever love me enough

881
00:58:06.880 --> 00:58:12.240
for me to get married. So when I met this amazing man who loved me, it was like,

882
00:58:13.200 --> 00:58:19.680
wow, like he loves me. He wants to marry me. And I got married quickly because I almost didn't

883
00:58:19.680 --> 00:58:27.680
want him to get to know me too well to like leave before. It's crazy. Um, no. Yeah. Yeah.

884
00:58:28.000 --> 00:58:35.200
I mean, according to what goes on in our era or the way that we typically think. Yeah.

885
00:58:35.760 --> 00:58:43.280
Yeah. Well, the first year was brutal. I was like a mess. I had a fear of commitment. I was afraid

886
00:58:43.280 --> 00:58:46.720
that now we live together. He was going to know me. He was going to walk away. I threatened

887
00:58:46.720 --> 00:58:53.920
divorce probably every week. It was bad. Um, and I don't do that anymore. So this is good. He's

888
00:58:53.920 --> 00:59:02.800
stuck. He's stuck it out with me. I, he's a good guy. Um, but man, I think I don't appreciate him

889
00:59:04.560 --> 00:59:12.080
the way that I could, if I worked through some more of this stuff and I'm just very much like

890
00:59:12.080 --> 00:59:16.240
in my own space right now where I want to work through more of this stuff and I want to be

891
00:59:16.240 --> 00:59:23.120
better. But after sort of years of pain and years of, I have a little fruit fly that's flying around.

892
00:59:23.120 --> 00:59:33.040
Um, after years of pain and everything, I feel like I've become closed off and, you know, I, I

893
00:59:33.040 --> 00:59:40.160
don't know. I'd like to open back up, but I haven't opened up for a long time. So. Closed off to what?

894
00:59:40.880 --> 00:59:49.360
To just him, to marriage, to, um, everything that comes with marriage. I've just been really closed

895
00:59:49.360 --> 00:59:56.720
off to it. So I don't know. I definitely know that God brings good out of everything. And I

896
00:59:56.720 --> 01:00:00.000
know that he's brought good out of my life for having my husband in it.

897
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.880
and I also I don't know it's just a weird it's just a weird place I'm in

898
01:00:05.880 --> 01:00:13.480
with that whole thing so yeah I get it I totally get it and I'm I'm very chill in

899
01:00:13.480 --> 01:00:18.040
our marriage now where I wasn't before but I'm almost too laid-back where I am

900
01:00:18.040 --> 01:00:24.000
on like the lounge chair and I'm just not interested in getting it be yeah

901
01:00:24.000 --> 01:00:31.880
letting it be almost too much yeah I know what you're saying yeah I understand

902
01:00:31.880 --> 01:00:38.840
so that place yeah yeah no go ahead that place for us I was gonna say like that

903
01:00:38.840 --> 01:00:46.240
place of rest is good in a sense but then I'm like I want to I feel like I

904
01:00:46.240 --> 01:00:54.600
should do more or try more or be more and I don't know yeah yeah I know that

905
01:00:54.600 --> 01:00:59.280
abiding and rest and understanding rest will help with that it doesn't hinder

906
01:00:59.280 --> 01:01:05.640
because the rest is an apathy and abiding and rest is not apathy at all in

907
01:01:05.640 --> 01:01:11.400
fact Jesus was extremely passionate that he always spotted and rest and God is

908
01:01:11.400 --> 01:01:15.720
extremely passionate but he's always fighting in red so rest is a place from

909
01:01:15.720 --> 01:01:23.240
which we do and from which we operate so when we and in like what you're

910
01:01:23.240 --> 01:01:29.040
saying you know there's this there's this sense that if we don't if we don't

911
01:01:29.040 --> 01:01:34.920
fully commit in something if we don't fully give of ourselves if we don't

912
01:01:34.920 --> 01:01:41.800
fully try there there's some there we don't we understand that there's going

913
01:01:41.800 --> 01:01:45.640
to be an openness that's required of us meaning that we're going to be

914
01:01:45.640 --> 01:01:51.000
vulnerable we're going to be exposed we could be hurt we don't know and and then

915
01:01:51.000 --> 01:01:56.080
and so we don't want to give that and then the whole then the whole apathy the

916
01:01:56.080 --> 01:01:59.720
whole I'm just I'm just a lounge chair I'm just gonna kind of let it be what it

917
01:01:59.720 --> 01:02:05.760
is also is is the same thing but from the opposite end it's the I'm not going

918
01:02:05.760 --> 01:02:10.200
to invest I'm not going to be involved because we still feel like there's a

919
01:02:10.200 --> 01:02:14.400
threat there's a threat to our existence and so when we operate out of

920
01:02:14.400 --> 01:02:20.160
rest and out of the spirit and out of our identity we we heal that place and

921
01:02:20.160 --> 01:02:25.640
we've been long to invest because we understand that there's nothing but good

922
01:02:25.640 --> 01:02:30.920
that can come from it and we're not threatened anymore but when we because

923
01:02:30.920 --> 01:02:35.400
we understand that our identity is in him but when we don't believe that our

924
01:02:35.400 --> 01:02:39.240
identity is in him in all areas those are the areas in which we can feel

925
01:02:39.240 --> 01:02:45.960
threatened and so we just we we you know can swing from one direction to

926
01:02:45.960 --> 01:02:50.480
another where you know we're now completely apathetic and we think it's

927
01:02:50.480 --> 01:02:55.560
totally what we think that okay well now I'm doing something different and we're

928
01:02:55.560 --> 01:02:58.840
doing the exact same thing we're just expressing it different and that is

929
01:02:58.840 --> 01:03:04.840
that's it we're not investing in ourselves we're not I don't want to say

930
01:03:04.840 --> 01:03:08.960
working but we're just not investing and it all comes from the same the same

931
01:03:09.080 --> 01:03:15.480
reasons trying to to hold back and create distance because it then it's not

932
01:03:15.480 --> 01:03:22.800
risky yeah that's definitely what it is it's a I I don't want to get hurt I'm

933
01:03:22.800 --> 01:03:28.720
comfortable I don't want to give too much I don't want to I don't know I

934
01:03:28.720 --> 01:03:37.320
don't know if I want to be fully seen and known because it's almost you know

935
01:03:37.320 --> 01:03:40.560
if you know anything about attachment styles my attachment style I'm working

936
01:03:40.560 --> 01:03:43.400
on it because I have an insecure attachment style but I'm working on

937
01:03:43.400 --> 01:03:50.480
making it more secure and I've come so far and I I feel like there's so many

938
01:03:50.480 --> 01:03:53.520
good things that have happened and there are still these little things that God

939
01:03:53.520 --> 01:03:58.320
is still working on in me and one of them is being able to attach securely

940
01:03:58.320 --> 01:04:05.160
especially to my husband I can attach securely to friends and you know all

941
01:04:05.160 --> 01:04:09.840
sorts of people but not they're not as much of a threat yes because if he

942
01:04:09.840 --> 01:04:13.840
walked away it would be a lot harder on me right now if he was gonna walk away

943
01:04:13.840 --> 01:04:20.240
trust me he would have already he had so many chances but it's more about me it's

944
01:04:20.240 --> 01:04:24.480
like I don't know I don't know what it is I haven't been able to completely

945
01:04:24.480 --> 01:04:31.120
figure it out but it's like this fearful avoidant push-pull kind of like if you

946
01:04:31.120 --> 01:04:35.240
get too close yeah I run if you're not as close I'll work a little harder but

947
01:04:35.240 --> 01:04:40.400
he's very even keel so he doesn't like push Paul he doesn't do anything he's

948
01:04:40.400 --> 01:04:47.000
just like all the time so it's interesting and then I find like I come

949
01:04:47.000 --> 01:04:51.120
to this place sometimes like I explained a little bit in the Marco Polo of now

950
01:04:51.120 --> 01:04:58.320
why are you in the kitchen and you know why can't you do this like why do you do

951
01:04:58.320 --> 01:05:01.760
this why can't you do this more

952
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:08.000
and I get judgy. I'm being totally honest like this is the stuff that comes up so

953
01:05:08.000 --> 01:05:21.600
I'm okay. There we go. Okay. Let me, my phone, my earbuds died. So let me go, let me see where, okay.

954
01:05:21.600 --> 01:05:25.160
Alright so my friend is all the way on the other end of the house and I have

955
01:05:25.160 --> 01:05:30.600
the phone down really low. So please go ahead. No problem. Yeah that's kind of

956
01:05:30.600 --> 01:05:36.680
where I'm trying to kind of figure out more about myself because I know God,

957
01:05:36.680 --> 01:05:42.200
like trust me, I'll tell you stories someday when you know like I said the

958
01:05:42.200 --> 01:05:48.960
times right and he has like God's chisel. If you've ever seen that video, have you

959
01:05:48.960 --> 01:05:52.760
ever seen the God's chisel video? I haven't. You told me about it but I

960
01:05:52.760 --> 01:05:59.320
thought that you said, were you going to send it to me or was I supposed to Google it? I think you were

961
01:05:59.320 --> 01:06:03.880
supposed to tell me if you'd seen it and then I was gonna send it. Now that I know, I will

962
01:06:03.880 --> 01:06:08.520
send it to you. This is an image I always have of God chiseling away the things

963
01:06:08.520 --> 01:06:15.720
that don't serve us anymore, serve him ultimately. And my gosh, he has chiseled

964
01:06:15.720 --> 01:06:20.360
away at me in ways that if I would have known he was gonna do that I don't know

965
01:06:20.360 --> 01:06:28.080
if I would have signed up for it. But in hindsight, and I knew this at the time, I'm

966
01:06:28.080 --> 01:06:32.480
like he is going to bring good out of this, I know it. And he has and it's a

967
01:06:32.480 --> 01:06:38.120
miracle, the things that he's done. Miracles, absolutely. So there's still a

968
01:06:38.120 --> 01:06:45.560
little bit of work to do and one of those areas is definitely my attachment

969
01:06:45.560 --> 01:06:55.000
to my husband because it's just easier to do nothing than to do anything. I'm not super

970
01:06:55.000 --> 01:06:59.360
motivated to do anything. I'd rather build my business. I'd rather work with

971
01:06:59.360 --> 01:07:06.280
clients. I'd rather, you know, just sometimes just be by myself and not talk. And he is

972
01:07:06.280 --> 01:07:10.600
amazing. Like I don't think I would go out there and meet somebody better. Like I

973
01:07:10.600 --> 01:07:15.360
honestly think he is just a quality guy. So I don't know, I know it's me and I've

974
01:07:15.360 --> 01:07:23.320
got, I want to work on it. Yeah, it's just our interactions with other people are a

975
01:07:23.320 --> 01:07:28.360
mirror of what, how it is we view ourselves. Really, it's all that it is. And so once

976
01:07:28.360 --> 01:07:34.920
we, once we put on our own oxygen mask, everything else works itself out. Because

977
01:07:34.920 --> 01:07:39.920
that's what everything else is dependent on. And so it, anyway, so just be

978
01:07:39.920 --> 01:07:44.240
encouraged that it's working. I don't want to, not working on yourself, but

979
01:07:44.240 --> 01:07:47.920
paying attention to yourself and giving what it is that you know, and on your

980
01:07:47.920 --> 01:08:14.200
relationship with the Lord, and just believing that he is who he says that he is, and that you are who he says that you are. And when he describes Christ, that he's describing you and that you are all those things. And you can take him at his word that you are, and choosing to come into a greater and greater agreement with it will effortlessly change how the choices that you make in the way that you interact with, with others. The way that you interact with your husband, the way that you interact with your

981
01:08:14.200 --> 01:08:44.160
with your daughter, the way that you, the way that you make decisions in business, it's all effortless from that point, because it's based on, because we're, we're removing the hindrance and the resistance that's created by the fact that we believe that our old man is not dead. And we're, and we keep acting like him. And so once we remove that, will we effortlessly, we just

982
01:08:44.200 --> 01:08:57.040
allow ourselves to be who it is that we are, which is the new man and the new man effortlessly does everything. We don't have to try to have blonde hair. We just have blonde hair, you know, so someone who has blonde hair like yourself, you don't have to try for it.

983
01:08:57.680 --> 01:09:03.880
I mean, because I'm assuming you don't highlight it. I used to highlight my hair blonde, but you know, whatever color hair you have, you don't have to worry for it.

984
01:09:04.479 --> 01:09:10.600
It just, it just happens. It's just effortless. It's the same thing, you know, for us with our, you know, relationship to like

985
01:09:11.600 --> 01:09:19.200
The new man. We, we always believe our father. We don't have to try to believe we just have to let go of the resistance.

986
01:09:20.399 --> 01:09:30.200
Are the new man always believes his father. He's always right. The new man is always righteous. He's always holy. He knows everything. He's wise. He always makes the right decision.

987
01:09:30.800 --> 01:09:51.000
And, and the new man. Here's the father talks to the father has a good relationship with the father know and knows what's in the father's heart and looks like the father, etc. All effortlessly. So all of the issues that we have

988
01:09:53.160 --> 01:09:56.320
They effortlessly work themselves out.

989
01:09:56.320 --> 01:10:00.040
And because we we allow ourselves to just be

990
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:06.920
And that's what, what it means when it says that we work out our salvation is we're taking

991
01:10:06.920 --> 01:10:08.280
who it is that we really are.

992
01:10:08.280 --> 01:10:12.520
And we're working it out of ourselves, like, you know, deep down in us, we are spirit and

993
01:10:12.520 --> 01:10:17.120
we're working it out into our soul and out into our body so it can go out into the rest

994
01:10:17.120 --> 01:10:18.120
of the world.

995
01:10:18.120 --> 01:10:21.120
That's what working out our salvation is.

996
01:10:21.120 --> 01:10:24.280
It's manifesting what is actually true.

997
01:10:24.280 --> 01:10:28.480
It's not making something true that isn't yet true.

998
01:10:28.480 --> 01:10:31.080
No, it's just, it's just manifesting it.

999
01:10:31.080 --> 01:10:36.040
It's making it visible when currently it's only invisible.

1000
01:10:36.040 --> 01:10:42.080
So anyway, all of that stuff will iron itself out and, and without having to work on, oh,

1001
01:10:42.080 --> 01:10:43.760
I need to be more intentional.

1002
01:10:43.760 --> 01:10:44.760
I need to be more vigilant.

1003
01:10:44.760 --> 01:10:46.640
I need to be whatever.

1004
01:10:46.640 --> 01:10:49.600
We can do all of those things and they do work.

1005
01:10:49.600 --> 01:10:51.600
They often though don't deal with the root issue.

1006
01:10:51.600 --> 01:10:55.920
In fact, they don't deal with the root issue.

1007
01:10:55.920 --> 01:10:57.320
And it's a lot of hard work.

1008
01:10:57.320 --> 01:11:03.400
It's 10 times harder to do down in the soul where we're working at it.

1009
01:11:03.400 --> 01:11:08.920
So anyway, that's what I was explaining the Marco Polo when you were, when you were asking

1010
01:11:08.920 --> 01:11:16.040
about like, like, like coaching questions related to how it is that I talk about the

1011
01:11:16.040 --> 01:11:18.200
rest is it's, it's a different perspective.

1012
01:11:18.200 --> 01:11:20.560
It's a different, it's a different approach.

1013
01:11:20.560 --> 01:11:21.560
They're both valid.

1014
01:11:21.880 --> 01:11:29.560
They're both valid, but I teach about rest because when, because the other works until

1015
01:11:29.560 --> 01:11:36.440
it actually until the, until it doesn't, it works until it works with everything we know

1016
01:11:36.440 --> 01:11:41.520
until we don't, until we find ourselves in this situation in which it requires knowledge

1017
01:11:41.520 --> 01:11:43.560
of something that we don't have yet.

1018
01:11:43.560 --> 01:11:46.840
And then we bear the consequences of not knowing it.

1019
01:11:46.840 --> 01:11:51.520
And because we can't rise above it and, and we're struggling or whatever, but it

1020
01:11:51.520 --> 01:11:52.520
can rest.

1021
01:11:52.520 --> 01:11:57.320
We don't need to know any of it, but it's difficult sometimes for us to shift in there.

1022
01:11:57.320 --> 01:12:00.560
So sometimes we, we use, we use the tool.

1023
01:12:00.560 --> 01:12:02.160
I do the same thing in areas.

1024
01:12:02.160 --> 01:12:06.920
I will literally be in a situation like, okay, look, I know I'm supposed to trust you.

1025
01:12:06.920 --> 01:12:11.000
I know I'm supposed to believe that you are, you are as love and as goodness.

1026
01:12:11.000 --> 01:12:15.200
Everything is just that you say that you are, but I'm in this particular area, my soul is

1027
01:12:15.200 --> 01:12:16.200
really struggling.

1028
01:12:16.200 --> 01:12:17.200
So I need a tool.

1029
01:12:17.200 --> 01:12:20.600
I need a tool to use for myself as leverage.

1030
01:12:20.600 --> 01:12:25.000
And so I'll, and so I'll use a spiritual law tool or I'll use an inner healing tool or

1031
01:12:25.000 --> 01:12:30.160
I'll, I'll do something, something that I've learned that I know and, um, in order to give

1032
01:12:30.160 --> 01:12:35.560
myself leverage, um, because I'm, I'm just struggling too hard to just choose that he's

1033
01:12:35.560 --> 01:12:36.560
that good.

1034
01:12:36.560 --> 01:12:40.520
I'm really, I'm struggling believing that he's that good in a particular area.

1035
01:12:40.520 --> 01:12:44.760
And so I'll, you know, if I am, you know, when I am, then I'll, then I'll use something,

1036
01:12:44.760 --> 01:12:46.540
but anyway, it's just a different approach.

1037
01:12:46.540 --> 01:12:51.500
So point is that, you know, with your husband and all of that, if you focus on putting on

1038
01:12:51.500 --> 01:12:55.100
your own oxygen mask and believing who it is that God says that you are and focusing

1039
01:12:55.100 --> 01:13:03.100
on that, everything else will effortlessly begin, you will effortlessly, um, do and interact

1040
01:13:03.100 --> 01:13:08.540
with him the way that God, uh, that God intended without having to figure it out and figure

1041
01:13:08.540 --> 01:13:09.820
out what am I doing wrong?

1042
01:13:09.820 --> 01:13:11.900
What should I be doing different?

1043
01:13:11.900 --> 01:13:12.900
What does he need me to do?

1044
01:13:12.900 --> 01:13:14.660
What does he not need me to do?

1045
01:13:14.660 --> 01:13:16.300
It's a lot of learning.

1046
01:13:17.060 --> 01:13:18.060
It's a lot of figuring out.

1047
01:13:18.060 --> 01:13:22.860
It's a lot of work to try to, to try to remember and to do something different and to shift

1048
01:13:22.860 --> 01:13:23.860
my mind.

1049
01:13:23.860 --> 01:13:24.860
Anyway.

1050
01:13:24.860 --> 01:13:25.860
Yeah.

1051
01:13:25.860 --> 01:13:28.860
So anyway, it's just different, different approach.

1052
01:13:28.860 --> 01:13:30.860
No, they're all valid.

1053
01:13:30.860 --> 01:13:31.860
Yeah.

1054
01:13:31.860 --> 01:13:39.620
No, I, and I, I love, like, I think I incorporate a lot of deep stuff in my program, but the

1055
01:13:39.620 --> 01:13:45.940
like shifting into that spiritual realm, like even today, my daughter was, she had a friend

1056
01:13:45.940 --> 01:13:47.420
over and it was great.

1057
01:13:47.420 --> 01:13:52.380
She had, she has lots of friends, but she struggles with insecurities with her friends

1058
01:13:52.380 --> 01:13:53.620
or what she's an only child.

1059
01:13:53.620 --> 01:14:00.340
So she struggles when friends go home and she cries and stuff, which is hard on me.

1060
01:14:00.340 --> 01:14:01.980
I know.

1061
01:14:01.980 --> 01:14:04.580
Um, but she gets really insecure.

1062
01:14:04.580 --> 01:14:07.180
Um, I don't know, like it's, it's weird.

1063
01:14:07.180 --> 01:14:08.420
It shows up in different ways.

1064
01:14:08.420 --> 01:14:10.660
Like when she's with her friends, she wants to be liked.

1065
01:14:10.660 --> 01:14:15.300
So she'll do certain things to be like, now she's only four, so she's still learning,

1066
01:14:15.660 --> 01:14:18.300
but then if a friend's over and they leave, she cries.

1067
01:14:18.300 --> 01:14:22.740
So it's just like, I feel like she's lonely and then I feel guilty cause I didn't have

1068
01:14:22.740 --> 01:14:29.420
another child, but I, I never wanted to have another one.

1069
01:14:29.420 --> 01:14:34.500
Um, I went through a lot, like I said, the last three years, I was not in a place to

1070
01:14:34.500 --> 01:14:35.500
have another child.

1071
01:14:35.500 --> 01:14:40.780
The year that she, after she was born, I had postpartum stuff that was awful.

1072
01:14:40.780 --> 01:14:45.140
Then the last three years was a write-off.

1073
01:14:45.140 --> 01:14:52.140
So then here I am and she's almost five and I'm almost 42.

1074
01:14:52.140 --> 01:14:57.100
So just not in that place.

1075
01:14:57.100 --> 01:15:00.020
And when she gets lonely and she gets upset and she cries.

1076
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:07.920
wants this and that. I struggle because I feel guilty that I didn't have another child for her

1077
01:15:07.920 --> 01:15:14.480
to play with and I think that I am like doing something to her like she's going to grow up and

1078
01:15:14.480 --> 01:15:21.040
be insecure and be lonely and seek approval in other people and then she's going to end up like

1079
01:15:21.040 --> 01:15:27.520
I told you like having struggles like I did and so I'm like those things come up and I notice

1080
01:15:27.520 --> 01:15:33.360
I get really frustrated because I obviously come from a good place wanting the best for her but

1081
01:15:33.360 --> 01:15:45.200
then like how do I not feel guilty about all of that when she's so sad. Yeah well um you know

1082
01:15:45.200 --> 01:15:51.280
other people even as young as four other people are responsible for the meaning that they attach

1083
01:15:51.280 --> 01:15:56.320
to things. We were all responsible for how for the meaning that we attach to things even really

1084
01:15:56.320 --> 01:16:01.920
young where we were not aware that we were doing it we were still making choices and the way that

1085
01:16:01.920 --> 01:16:07.680
and one of the ways that we know that is that Jesus never sinned and Jesus lived a perfect

1086
01:16:07.680 --> 01:16:14.480
life and Jesus literally went through every age from zero to 33 technically I think it was 34

1087
01:16:14.480 --> 01:16:20.640
but anyway and once they figured out the timeline point is that Jesus went through went through all

1088
01:16:20.640 --> 01:16:25.600
of those things and and so it is it is possible but it's meanings that they've attached to things

1089
01:16:25.600 --> 01:16:35.600
and we do our our best in order to to in the way that we interact with children to give them a a

1090
01:16:35.600 --> 01:16:41.520
way in which they can attach the meaning that we know is true so in other words the way that they

1091
01:16:41.520 --> 01:16:47.680
are more likely to receive what it is receive the meaning that we believe actually is true as

1092
01:16:47.680 --> 01:16:55.120
opposed to being more likely to receive a different message and then after that and they really are

1093
01:16:55.120 --> 01:17:03.040
responsible in the in the end for what it is that they what it is that they choose and we don't know

1094
01:17:03.040 --> 01:17:07.280
what it is that they're how it is that they're going to take it we just follow the Lord's leading

1095
01:17:07.280 --> 01:17:13.280
as best that we can and ultimately we just leave them in their in his hands we have to leave that

1096
01:17:13.280 --> 01:17:20.560
our spouses in the Lord's hands we have to leave ourselves in the Lord's hands I mean um and

1097
01:17:21.520 --> 01:17:29.440
there God doesn't intend for us to um to carry um any guilt any shame or any self-condemnation

1098
01:17:29.440 --> 01:17:35.040
and that's the very first thing that we have to deal with is that when we're struggling especially

1099
01:17:35.040 --> 01:17:39.360
with an interaction with another human being for instance because that one really gets us

1100
01:17:39.360 --> 01:17:42.800
when we're dealing with an interaction with another human being and we're wondering what

1101
01:17:42.800 --> 01:17:49.280
is it what is it that I should and shouldn't do what we have to do first is to shift our place

1102
01:17:49.280 --> 01:17:53.760
itself and to make sure that we're shifted into a place of rest in order in other words that

1103
01:17:53.760 --> 01:18:03.840
we do remember who it is that we are and and usually the hindrance to that is we're currently

1104
01:18:03.840 --> 01:18:09.920
in a state in which we're we are we're shamed we're in a state of self-condemnation we're feeling

1105
01:18:09.920 --> 01:18:15.920
you know all of that guilt and God wants us to release that first in order to shift into a place

1106
01:18:16.000 --> 01:18:22.240
of rest in order to remember who it is that we are before we can have a hope of actually

1107
01:18:22.240 --> 01:18:28.320
dealing correctly and wisely with the situation in front of us how should I actually interact

1108
01:18:28.320 --> 01:18:34.080
with them um what is the righteous way in which I should do you know what is it that this person

1109
01:18:34.080 --> 01:18:39.280
really needs we know that thing in the spirit because our spirit knows all things but if we're

1110
01:18:39.280 --> 01:18:44.240
not in the spirit and we're in the soul which is evidenced by the fact that we're you know shaming

1111
01:18:44.240 --> 01:18:49.600
ourselves we're in condemnation I feel guilty I've done something wrong I am wrong I haven't

1112
01:18:49.600 --> 01:18:54.960
done it right I failed whatever if we're in that place we're not in a place in which we can hear

1113
01:18:54.960 --> 01:18:59.760
we're in which we're believing that God that we are who God says that we are and if we're not

1114
01:18:59.760 --> 01:19:05.200
where it is that God says that we are we're not acknowledging that we're in the father's heart

1115
01:19:05.200 --> 01:19:09.680
and therefore we can't hear it we can't hear the wise things we can't hear what it is that we're

1116
01:19:09.680 --> 01:19:14.000
supposed to do so we have to let go of the shame and condemnation because God says it's not for

1117
01:19:14.000 --> 01:19:19.440
us to carry anymore and he wants us to deal with that first then we shift up into the spirit and we

1118
01:19:19.440 --> 01:19:23.360
remember who it is that we are in front of that place we know all things and we know how to deal

1119
01:19:23.360 --> 01:19:29.040
with the situation and that situation isn't something they don't need a therapist they

1120
01:19:29.040 --> 01:19:34.400
need the Lord they need they meet the Lord knows how it is that they're going to take anything that

1121
01:19:34.400 --> 01:19:40.080
we say and the meaning that they're going to attach to it and so we want his wisdom and his

1122
01:19:40.160 --> 01:19:45.920
knowledge and his perspective and we have to get out of our own way in order to be able to finally

1123
01:19:45.920 --> 01:19:50.960
hear what it is that we need to be able to say or how we need to be interacting and we automatically

1124
01:19:50.960 --> 01:19:57.200
know that in the spirit as soon as we let go of all of that resistance of I'm a problem I'm failing

1125
01:19:57.200 --> 01:19:59.840
or I'm going I'm afraid that I'm a

1126
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:06.720
to fail or I feel guilty I'm probably responsible for this what have I said

1127
01:20:06.720 --> 01:20:12.240
that's made her think this or I should have had another child you know I've

1128
01:20:12.240 --> 01:20:16.520
probably you know made it harder for her in other words it's just self-condemning

1129
01:20:16.520 --> 01:20:20.400
and we have to release ourselves first put on our oxygen mask first before we

1130
01:20:20.400 --> 01:20:26.640
can give it to someone else does that make sense oh yeah totally I guess so in

1131
01:20:26.640 --> 01:20:31.800
the moment when I'm feeling guilty the first thing is you try to drop it

1132
01:20:31.800 --> 01:20:37.400
because there's no condemnation in Christ correct and then shift into the

1133
01:20:37.400 --> 01:20:42.560
spirit to the point where I can say what does she need right now the most she

1134
01:20:42.560 --> 01:20:49.320
needs a hug she needs some playtime with me so she needs whatever and then along

1135
01:20:49.320 --> 01:20:54.480
with dropping the guilt I've got to drop my selfishness because sometimes I just

1136
01:20:54.640 --> 01:21:00.680
want to rest I think I told you I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue right

1137
01:21:00.680 --> 01:21:09.480
so I like to rest a lot do I rest in the spirit in that kind of rest not as much

1138
01:21:09.480 --> 01:21:17.160
as I'd like to and I I like to just lie down and do nothing because my body does

1139
01:21:17.160 --> 01:21:24.200
hurt a lot and so yeah you know living in the spiritual realm it's funny I can

1140
01:21:24.200 --> 01:21:28.800
go there and be like okay I'm in the spiritual realm I'm at rest and then I

1141
01:21:28.800 --> 01:21:35.080
can do lots I because I'm feeling energized and you're in the spirit but

1142
01:21:35.080 --> 01:21:39.640
then I don't have energy later it's like I need to save it up so I have enough to

1143
01:21:39.640 --> 01:21:47.240
last me through the day because if I spike then I'll drop so I I try not to

1144
01:21:47.240 --> 01:21:52.960
let myself get too excited do too much or else I'll end up having to lie in bed

1145
01:21:52.960 --> 01:21:59.480
for the next day right so that's probably a little bit of a competing

1146
01:21:59.480 --> 01:22:07.080
commitment for me around fear and living in the spirit right because if I live in

1147
01:22:07.080 --> 01:22:10.520
the spirit what if I do too much and then I'm out of the spirit and then I'm

1148
01:22:10.520 --> 01:22:14.560
like oh I'm so tired I'm in pain I can't take care of my daughter you know what I

1149
01:22:14.560 --> 01:22:20.640
mean like does this make any sense this is the depth that I think at so it's

1150
01:22:20.640 --> 01:22:27.400
great that's great so what what what's your question should you oh okay let me

1151
01:22:27.400 --> 01:22:32.360
let me back up there really quick and for one thing I need to understand what

1152
01:22:32.360 --> 01:22:36.520
your question actually is because I didn't get that but before I before you

1153
01:22:36.520 --> 01:22:42.600
answer that before I forget let me go back to something you said you said and

1154
01:22:42.600 --> 01:22:46.520
so get you know understand that I don't have it carry any more shame or

1155
01:22:46.520 --> 01:22:50.600
condemnation and then I need to you said need to shift in the spirit to see what

1156
01:22:50.600 --> 01:22:53.680
it is that she needs understand understand that by releasing the shame

1157
01:22:53.680 --> 01:22:57.120
and the condemnation and releasing all of the stress and anxiety you're

1158
01:22:57.120 --> 01:23:01.440
shifting into rest automatically so you're already shifting and you're

1159
01:23:01.440 --> 01:23:05.480
acknowledging that you are spirit in by and by being and residing in the spirit

1160
01:23:05.480 --> 01:23:10.160
you will then know what to do now yes you can also ask the Lord you can kind

1161
01:23:10.160 --> 01:23:13.800
of like seek you know seek his heart okay what am I sensing in my spirit that

1162
01:23:13.800 --> 01:23:17.240
she needs right now you know what should it is that what it is that what is it

1163
01:23:17.240 --> 01:23:22.000
that I should do and then going into even without you telling me exactly what

1164
01:23:22.000 --> 01:23:26.600
your question is going into your the second part where you were talking about

1165
01:23:26.600 --> 01:23:30.160
the fact that you know you don't feel like that you have a lot of energy

1166
01:23:30.160 --> 01:23:32.880
sometimes since you're like okay my goodness does this mean that I just need

1167
01:23:32.880 --> 01:23:38.840
to play with her just whatever when you were in the spirit you then know when

1168
01:23:38.840 --> 01:23:41.680
you're sensing the father's heart you know what it is that you should do and

1169
01:23:41.680 --> 01:23:45.840
or what it is that you think that you should do again what you're sensing in

1170
01:23:45.840 --> 01:23:48.520
the spirit not what you're thinking with your head sounds logical or

1171
01:23:48.520 --> 01:23:55.680
whatever but sensing what what's word where is my peace at wherever you feel

1172
01:23:55.680 --> 01:24:00.520
that your piece is that is where God will sustain you so God will sustain you

1173
01:24:00.520 --> 01:24:05.640
physically and give you whatever it is that you need if in your spirit your

1174
01:24:05.640 --> 01:24:10.780
peace is at spending time playing with your daughter or whatever the reason

1175
01:24:10.780 --> 01:24:14.600
that your body is is is suffering with like chronic chronic fatigue and

1176
01:24:14.600 --> 01:24:18.320
fibromyalgia or whatever is it's believes a lie that it's abandoned and

1177
01:24:18.320 --> 01:24:22.680
alone and it's a victim to to whatever all of our bodies are manifesting

1178
01:24:22.680 --> 01:24:28.080
different different health issues because of that root that root lie that

1179
01:24:28.080 --> 01:24:32.800
we believe that we're we're we're a victim we're abandoned alone you know

1180
01:24:32.800 --> 01:24:35.560
we've got to protect from provide ourselves again it's the court that

1181
01:24:35.560 --> 01:24:39.760
we've appealed to and our body is simply manifesting what it is that we actually

1182
01:24:39.760 --> 01:24:43.360
believe because physically our bodies get their instruction from the human

1183
01:24:43.360 --> 01:24:47.960
soul and even non-believers and recognize this and they they can they've

1184
01:24:47.960 --> 01:24:53.320
and done all kinds of scientific studies on it and whatever that anyway that's why

1185
01:24:53.320 --> 01:24:58.080
I think it's like sugar pills work because it's it's the placebo effect

1186
01:24:58.080 --> 01:25:02.000
because they know that our body

1187
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:05.000
please respond to what it is that our souls tell it.

1188
01:25:05.480 --> 01:25:08.360
Anyway, but that's why it's doing that.

1189
01:25:08.360 --> 01:25:11.720
So if you actually begin to believe something different,

1190
01:25:11.720 --> 01:25:16.720
your body can then manifest that different belief.

1191
01:25:17.000 --> 01:25:18.400
So if you're choosing, okay, well,

1192
01:25:18.400 --> 01:25:21.640
what does it say that the Lord wants me to do in the spirit?

1193
01:25:21.640 --> 01:25:23.600
Okay, this is where my peace is at.

1194
01:25:23.600 --> 01:25:26.200
So what we believe that regardless of what it is

1195
01:25:26.200 --> 01:25:27.840
that our body is telling us,

1196
01:25:27.880 --> 01:25:31.200
we choose that whatever God says is true,

1197
01:25:31.200 --> 01:25:32.040
it really is true.

1198
01:25:32.040 --> 01:25:32.960
Like what we were talking about

1199
01:25:32.960 --> 01:25:34.760
at the beginning of the conversation,

1200
01:25:34.760 --> 01:25:37.440
you know, is like a rape victims

1201
01:25:37.440 --> 01:25:39.160
or kidnap victims or whatever.

1202
01:25:39.160 --> 01:25:40.800
Even in something like this,

1203
01:25:40.800 --> 01:25:44.040
didn't matter what the physical realm is saying,

1204
01:25:44.040 --> 01:25:49.040
I am choosing that if God says that he is giving me this,

1205
01:25:50.240 --> 01:25:51.960
that my peace is that,

1206
01:25:51.960 --> 01:25:56.640
God is going to sustain me in stopping

1207
01:25:56.640 --> 01:25:58.600
and playing with my little girl,

1208
01:25:58.600 --> 01:26:00.600
then he really will sustain me.

1209
01:26:00.600 --> 01:26:05.240
He will sustain me, you know, in my soul and in my body.

1210
01:26:05.240 --> 01:26:08.640
And we choose that over anything else.

1211
01:26:08.640 --> 01:26:10.600
We're not dictated to by our body

1212
01:26:10.600 --> 01:26:12.960
and just have to deal with it.

1213
01:26:12.960 --> 01:26:14.760
We tell it what to do.

1214
01:26:14.760 --> 01:26:16.480
And we're trying to get it to come into alignment

1215
01:26:16.480 --> 01:26:17.320
and come into agreement.

1216
01:26:17.320 --> 01:26:19.160
And it is a journey, understand.

1217
01:26:19.160 --> 01:26:23.400
So I actually had to talk to my book this week

1218
01:26:23.400 --> 01:26:25.680
because I heard it.

1219
01:26:25.680 --> 01:26:29.240
And it swelled up huge.

1220
01:26:29.240 --> 01:26:31.880
I mean, huge.

1221
01:26:31.880 --> 01:26:33.000
And I didn't tell anybody.

1222
01:26:33.000 --> 01:26:36.600
I'm like, I'm trying not to limp when I'm around people

1223
01:26:36.600 --> 01:26:38.120
because I was with my host family.

1224
01:26:38.120 --> 01:26:41.160
And I was like, I can't let anybody know.

1225
01:26:41.160 --> 01:26:43.720
And I just need to come into my foot.

1226
01:26:43.720 --> 01:26:47.560
No, you're not, you're protected and you're safe.

1227
01:26:47.560 --> 01:26:48.400
And I'm your King.

1228
01:26:48.400 --> 01:26:50.120
And I'm telling you that in the spirit,

1229
01:26:50.120 --> 01:26:51.720
I am completely healed.

1230
01:26:51.720 --> 01:26:52.880
And that's my identity.

1231
01:26:52.880 --> 01:26:55.320
And you just need to manifest it.

1232
01:26:55.960 --> 01:26:56.800
And you just need to deal with it.

1233
01:26:56.800 --> 01:26:58.200
I didn't get onto my foot.

1234
01:26:58.200 --> 01:27:00.160
I just told it, hey, look, I'm your King.

1235
01:27:00.160 --> 01:27:01.720
And I'm telling you that you're safe.

1236
01:27:01.720 --> 01:27:04.080
And I'm telling you, this is, I'm giving you instruction.

1237
01:27:04.080 --> 01:27:05.680
This is what I want you to do.

1238
01:27:05.680 --> 01:27:07.720
And it began to heal.

1239
01:27:07.720 --> 01:27:11.480
And by that evening, it was healed tremendously.

1240
01:27:11.480 --> 01:27:14.680
And then it healed even more the next day.

1241
01:27:14.680 --> 01:27:16.000
I don't know what went on.

1242
01:27:16.000 --> 01:27:18.160
I don't know what I did that,

1243
01:27:18.160 --> 01:27:20.360
or what it thought that had happened to it.

1244
01:27:20.360 --> 01:27:21.760
I don't know if it thought,

1245
01:27:21.760 --> 01:27:23.880
I mean, I was even wondering if there was a frac,

1246
01:27:23.880 --> 01:27:26.520
if it thought that I had a fracture, I don't know.

1247
01:27:26.520 --> 01:27:28.920
Whatever it was, it was huge.

1248
01:27:28.920 --> 01:27:30.720
It swelled up so big.

1249
01:27:30.720 --> 01:27:33.440
I mean, it hurt so bad to walk on it.

1250
01:27:33.440 --> 01:27:37.160
My whole foot was just puffy and sore.

1251
01:27:37.160 --> 01:27:40.920
And it, cause some furniture had jammed down

1252
01:27:40.920 --> 01:27:42.600
on top of my foot.

1253
01:27:42.600 --> 01:27:44.600
So my entire foot swelled up.

1254
01:27:44.600 --> 01:27:47.200
So, you know, whenever you walk on anything like that,

1255
01:27:47.200 --> 01:27:49.120
it just hurts like the Dickens.

1256
01:27:49.120 --> 01:27:50.720
And I just kept walking on it and saying,

1257
01:27:50.720 --> 01:27:52.440
no, this is how it is.

1258
01:27:52.440 --> 01:27:54.960
And I would just walk on it as if my foot was normal.

1259
01:27:54.960 --> 01:27:56.520
No, this is how it is.

1260
01:27:56.520 --> 01:27:57.360
This is how it is.

1261
01:27:57.360 --> 01:27:58.600
This is how it is.

1262
01:27:58.600 --> 01:28:00.280
So I'm practicing.

1263
01:28:00.280 --> 01:28:03.000
And I'm not saying that I just have it like I have it,

1264
01:28:03.000 --> 01:28:08.000
that I still have more that I need to grow

1265
01:28:09.440 --> 01:28:14.440
into having faith in the Lord in, but I'm trying.

1266
01:28:14.600 --> 01:28:18.080
So point is that God will sustain you wherever

1267
01:28:18.080 --> 01:28:21.480
your spirit says that it's peace is at,

1268
01:28:21.480 --> 01:28:24.040
related to your daughter, related to,

1269
01:28:24.040 --> 01:28:27.320
even if it involves your physical exertion.

1270
01:28:28.320 --> 01:28:29.160
So.

1271
01:28:29.160 --> 01:28:30.800
Yeah, no, that's good.

1272
01:28:30.800 --> 01:28:33.880
So like, let's say you had a foot like that,

1273
01:28:33.880 --> 01:28:36.840
that acted up, you know, a lot.

1274
01:28:36.840 --> 01:28:40.120
And you knew that if you walk too long on your foot,

1275
01:28:40.120 --> 01:28:42.160
you would probably have, you know,

1276
01:28:42.160 --> 01:28:44.600
a couple of days out laid up in your bed

1277
01:28:44.600 --> 01:28:46.880
because you just overwalked.

1278
01:28:47.160 --> 01:28:48.640
Mm-hmm.

1279
01:28:48.640 --> 01:28:51.520
How would that affect your ability to like,

1280
01:28:51.520 --> 01:28:56.160
try to live in the spirit or live at rest,

1281
01:28:56.160 --> 01:28:59.560
knowing that there's a fear that if you did,

1282
01:28:59.560 --> 01:29:00.720
there might come, you know,

1283
01:29:00.720 --> 01:29:02.840
the next couple of days would be difficult for you.

1284
01:29:02.840 --> 01:29:04.080
Do you know what I mean?

1285
01:29:04.080 --> 01:29:04.920
Yes.

1286
01:29:04.920 --> 01:29:08.880
So I, that's what I, that's what I was,

1287
01:29:08.880 --> 01:29:10.800
that was a lie that I was threatened with believing

1288
01:29:10.800 --> 01:29:13.080
about my foot actually, was I thought,

1289
01:29:13.080 --> 01:29:15.040
what if it really is?

1290
01:29:15.040 --> 01:29:19.280
What if there, what if there is a fracture?

1291
01:29:19.280 --> 01:29:21.040
And in reality, because understanding,

1292
01:29:21.040 --> 01:29:23.040
I'm not denying reality.

1293
01:29:23.040 --> 01:29:25.480
I'm not saying, well, you know,

1294
01:29:25.480 --> 01:29:28.800
I see the fracture on the X-ray.

1295
01:29:28.800 --> 01:29:30.360
Well, that's not, that's not true.

1296
01:29:30.360 --> 01:29:33.200
No, there is a fracture, you know?

1297
01:29:33.200 --> 01:29:34.760
So it's not denying reality,

1298
01:29:34.760 --> 01:29:36.880
but it's telling the body to overcome

1299
01:29:36.880 --> 01:29:39.800
and to manifest something different,

1300
01:29:39.800 --> 01:29:41.760
to heal itself, to do whatever it needs to do.

1301
01:29:41.760 --> 01:29:44.320
And it needs to do it fast and needs to do that.

1302
01:29:44.320 --> 01:29:47.000
So I did actually, I was very,

1303
01:29:47.000 --> 01:29:51.360
I knew that if, if I didn't,

1304
01:29:52.720 --> 01:29:54.720
this is going to sound like a really weird way to say it,

1305
01:29:54.720 --> 01:29:56.840
but if I didn't do it right,

1306
01:29:56.840 --> 01:30:00.160
if I'm practicing and it quote unquote, didn't work.

1307
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:05.480
And the only reason why it wouldn't work is if I, is the fact that I, it's not that it's

1308
01:30:05.480 --> 01:30:06.480
not true.

1309
01:30:06.480 --> 01:30:09.120
It's that I wasn't actually believing it.

1310
01:30:09.120 --> 01:30:15.640
Then I thought I could bear the consequences and this could just, this could, this situation

1311
01:30:15.640 --> 01:30:17.480
could compound.

1312
01:30:17.480 --> 01:30:22.160
I could be compounding the problem because in my mind, what was going through my head

1313
01:30:22.160 --> 01:30:25.720
was the, and this is one of the reasons why I didn't tell anybody.

1314
01:30:25.720 --> 01:30:29.640
One of the reasons I didn't tell anybody is I didn't want anyone in the physical to be

1315
01:30:29.640 --> 01:30:33.200
acknowledging that there was something wrong.

1316
01:30:33.200 --> 01:30:37.080
And then the other thing is that they were going to be on me, you know, say, Oh, well,

1317
01:30:37.080 --> 01:30:38.280
actually this is what you need to do.

1318
01:30:38.280 --> 01:30:39.280
You need to do this.

1319
01:30:39.280 --> 01:30:40.280
You need to do that.

1320
01:30:40.280 --> 01:30:43.920
And I'm like, no, I tell my body what it needs to do because.

1321
01:30:43.920 --> 01:30:46.840
And so every time I started thinking, okay, what do I need to do?

1322
01:30:46.840 --> 01:30:50.240
Well, normally I would soak it and normally I would elevate it.

1323
01:30:50.240 --> 01:30:54.440
Normally I would do this and I just, nope, not that.

1324
01:30:54.440 --> 01:31:03.640
And, um, um, anyway, I did actually believe it and I chose instead that I, because what

1325
01:31:03.640 --> 01:31:09.440
it is that I'm, what it was I was doing in the moment was not just related to my foot.

1326
01:31:09.440 --> 01:31:14.840
It was, I was trying, I was choosing to believe that God is who he says that he is and that

1327
01:31:14.840 --> 01:31:20.840
I am who God says that he says that I am, hopefully I said that right.

1328
01:31:20.840 --> 01:31:24.440
And I knew that it was that serious of a thing that I was undertaking.

1329
01:31:24.440 --> 01:31:26.080
It wasn't my foot.

1330
01:31:26.080 --> 01:31:27.720
And so I was choosing him.

1331
01:31:27.720 --> 01:31:29.480
I was choosing to believe the Lord.

1332
01:31:29.480 --> 01:31:32.600
I wasn't choosing to have dominion over my foot necessarily.

1333
01:31:32.600 --> 01:31:36.200
Yes, I was choosing to have dominion over my foot, but why?

1334
01:31:36.200 --> 01:31:39.360
Ultimately because God says that I, that is the position that I have.

1335
01:31:39.360 --> 01:31:42.920
And so he says that that's the position of mine that I have.

1336
01:31:42.920 --> 01:31:47.000
Ultimately what it is I'm choosing is that what God says is true.

1337
01:31:47.000 --> 01:31:49.960
And that's why I was so serious about the situation.

1338
01:31:49.960 --> 01:31:57.080
So, so in other words, you're asking about, well, what if you know that, that if you keep

1339
01:31:57.080 --> 01:31:59.480
doing this, that X, Y, and Z is going to happen?

1340
01:31:59.480 --> 01:32:03.680
Well, the reason that X, Y, and Z happens is because we've appealed to that court and

1341
01:32:03.680 --> 01:32:08.000
we appeal to that court, meaning that we don't believe that God is who he says that he is.

1342
01:32:08.000 --> 01:32:12.680
So I was choosing a higher court and I was practicing that.

1343
01:32:12.680 --> 01:32:22.120
And I knew that if I didn't, if, if I, if I was trying, if I was practicing that I could

1344
01:32:22.120 --> 01:32:28.840
bear these consequences because I was actually appealing to this court when I thought I was

1345
01:32:28.840 --> 01:32:29.840
appealing to this court.

1346
01:32:29.840 --> 01:32:34.040
So I thought if I'm still appealing to this one, even though I think I'm doing this one

1347
01:32:34.040 --> 01:32:39.440
and therefore I reap negative consequences, at least I tried and I need to do, and I need

1348
01:32:39.440 --> 01:32:42.440
to keep, keep at it.

1349
01:32:42.480 --> 01:32:52.040
And anyway, for me, it was a, it was a big deal and it was a long term, not a goal, but

1350
01:32:52.040 --> 01:32:58.440
just a long term intention and desire of mine that I was investing in.

1351
01:32:58.440 --> 01:32:59.760
And so I made a choice.

1352
01:32:59.760 --> 01:33:04.920
I was willing to risk this in order to attain that.

1353
01:33:04.920 --> 01:33:06.640
Not that I'm attaining it, but you know what I'm saying?

1354
01:33:06.640 --> 01:33:09.640
To begin to, to believe the Lord.

1355
01:33:09.640 --> 01:33:10.640
And I, and I risked it.

1356
01:33:10.640 --> 01:33:16.120
I knew full well what I was risking and, and I did it anyway, but there are other, but

1357
01:33:16.120 --> 01:33:18.440
that's where my faith was at.

1358
01:33:18.440 --> 01:33:23.240
There are other times where my health struggles and my faith is where I'm just like, okay,

1359
01:33:23.240 --> 01:33:29.640
I just need a pill, just, just give me, I've got this headache, just give me Tylenol.

1360
01:33:29.640 --> 01:33:32.600
And so I just go wherever, go wherever your peace is at.

1361
01:33:32.600 --> 01:33:37.240
There's no condemnation in the Lord, even when we choose this court, there's no condemnation

1362
01:33:37.240 --> 01:33:38.240
anymore.

1363
01:33:38.240 --> 01:33:40.600
It's not like, well, there's no condemnation here, but there is here and there isn't.

1364
01:33:40.600 --> 01:33:41.600
There is here.

1365
01:33:41.600 --> 01:33:44.920
No, no condemnation to anyone that we pick.

1366
01:33:44.920 --> 01:33:52.920
And he just bothers us into, into moving where we acknowledge more and more that we actually

1367
01:33:52.920 --> 01:33:53.920
are in the spirit.

1368
01:33:53.920 --> 01:33:58.000
But in the meantime, we need to go wherever our peace is at, because our peace is going

1369
01:33:58.000 --> 01:34:03.200
to reflect wherever it is that our faith is at, the degree to which we believe that God

1370
01:34:03.200 --> 01:34:04.760
is love and good.

1371
01:34:04.760 --> 01:34:09.960
And he says, and he's pleased whichever, whichever court we pick, he's pleased.

1372
01:34:09.960 --> 01:34:12.400
He's like, oh, they believe me that much.

1373
01:34:12.400 --> 01:34:17.040
He's not disappointed that, well, why didn't they believe all of the rest of this?

1374
01:34:17.040 --> 01:34:20.000
No, he's just like, oh, well, they believe me that much.

1375
01:34:20.000 --> 01:34:21.000
That's great.

1376
01:34:21.000 --> 01:34:24.920
And then he wants to bother us into, wouldn't you like to believe me more?

1377
01:34:24.920 --> 01:34:30.960
Wouldn't you like to receive even more evidence in, in manifestation in your life that I am

1378
01:34:30.960 --> 01:34:35.160
as good and as, and as loved as I declare that I am, because you have that much more

1379
01:34:35.160 --> 01:34:36.880
freedom available to you.

1380
01:34:36.880 --> 01:34:42.120
But it doesn't mean that he condenses for where we are in order to motivate us for something

1381
01:34:42.120 --> 01:34:43.120
else.

1382
01:34:43.120 --> 01:34:44.120
No, he's just like, this is great.

1383
01:34:44.120 --> 01:34:45.680
This is wonderful.

1384
01:34:45.680 --> 01:34:47.920
If you want to take Tylenol, take Tylenol.

1385
01:34:47.920 --> 01:34:50.160
If you want to sleep, sleep.

1386
01:34:50.160 --> 01:34:54.040
Go wherever it is that you're feeling your, your peace is at, because your peace is a

1387
01:34:54.040 --> 01:34:58.320
reflection of to what level you are currently believing God.

1388
01:34:58.320 --> 01:35:00.040
He will, he will be pleased.

1389
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:03.300
is with whatever level to which you are believing him,

1390
01:35:03.300 --> 01:35:06.020
because all he sees is, she believes,

1391
01:35:06.020 --> 01:35:08.140
and he will sustain you in that place.

1392
01:35:09.060 --> 01:35:10.980
So whatever it is you choose, just believe him,

1393
01:35:10.980 --> 01:35:12.740
but go wherever your faith is at.

1394
01:35:13.620 --> 01:35:16.660
Do we really believe and trust in him though,

1395
01:35:16.660 --> 01:35:18.420
when we, I'm just curious,

1396
01:35:18.420 --> 01:35:19.380
because when you were talking,

1397
01:35:19.380 --> 01:35:20.780
I was thinking of a whole bunch of things,

1398
01:35:20.780 --> 01:35:24.420
but, and I was totally listening too, but I-

1399
01:35:24.420 --> 01:35:25.420
No, no, it's fine.

1400
01:35:25.880 --> 01:35:30.880
Um, if I go and reach for an Advil before I,

1401
01:35:32.000 --> 01:35:34.540
like if I'm like, okay, I could go to God and I could pray,

1402
01:35:34.540 --> 01:35:36.120
but I really want that Advil,

1403
01:35:36.960 --> 01:35:40.320
is it really, like, it's not his best for us.

1404
01:35:40.320 --> 01:35:43.120
It's not his ultimate goal for us, right?

1405
01:35:43.120 --> 01:35:46.160
It's like, I'm surprised he wouldn't be like,

1406
01:35:46.160 --> 01:35:49.960
um, yeah, that's not what I want you to do,

1407
01:35:49.960 --> 01:35:51.800
because I've got something way better for you.

1408
01:35:51.800 --> 01:35:52.960
I hear what you're saying,

1409
01:35:52.960 --> 01:35:55.700
and I feel like maybe because of my history,

1410
01:35:55.700 --> 01:35:58.860
I'm like, wouldn't he say, no, don't do that.

1411
01:35:58.860 --> 01:36:01.140
When I have something so much better,

1412
01:36:01.140 --> 01:36:02.340
why would you go and do that?

1413
01:36:02.340 --> 01:36:04.180
You know what I mean?

1414
01:36:04.180 --> 01:36:07.700
Yeah, so God created things like Advil.

1415
01:36:07.700 --> 01:36:09.500
He's the one who gave us the knowledge

1416
01:36:09.500 --> 01:36:13.980
and that enabled us to develop something

1417
01:36:13.980 --> 01:36:15.460
that we call Advil.

1418
01:36:15.460 --> 01:36:17.340
He's the one who created all of those things

1419
01:36:17.340 --> 01:36:19.760
to work like that, and those things are very good.

1420
01:36:19.760 --> 01:36:20.980
There's nothing wrong with them.

1421
01:36:21.000 --> 01:36:25.040
Now, yes, operating, using those things

1422
01:36:25.040 --> 01:36:30.040
outside of the tree of life results in nothing but death,

1423
01:36:31.080 --> 01:36:33.280
because it's separated from the life source,

1424
01:36:33.280 --> 01:36:35.000
and God is healing, God is everything.

1425
01:36:35.000 --> 01:36:37.000
So when we're using a tool outside of it,

1426
01:36:37.000 --> 01:36:39.320
believing this thing is going to heal me,

1427
01:36:39.320 --> 01:36:43.240
this thing is the source of my healing.

1428
01:36:43.240 --> 01:36:44.440
It leads to nothing but death,

1429
01:36:44.440 --> 01:36:46.960
which is why there are all those side effects to Advil,

1430
01:36:46.960 --> 01:36:50.960
et cetera, and why, yeah, you know that it's not perfect.

1431
01:36:51.940 --> 01:36:54.340
Sure, it numbs the nerves,

1432
01:36:54.340 --> 01:36:56.900
but then there's all of these other side effects.

1433
01:36:56.900 --> 01:36:59.420
It is just, again, physical type and shadow

1434
01:36:59.420 --> 01:37:02.260
of spiritual truth, which is the fact that things

1435
01:37:02.260 --> 01:37:05.200
just that are outside of the Lord just lead to death,

1436
01:37:05.200 --> 01:37:08.220
but he did still create all of those things.

1437
01:37:08.220 --> 01:37:12.440
So God doesn't create things that are bad.

1438
01:37:12.440 --> 01:37:17.280
God doesn't create plans and spiritual laws

1439
01:37:17.280 --> 01:37:19.060
and physical laws.

1440
01:37:19.080 --> 01:37:21.520
He doesn't create things that are bad,

1441
01:37:21.520 --> 01:37:25.240
but what he does wants us to do is that whatever tool

1442
01:37:25.240 --> 01:37:28.160
that we use that he created, he's like, okay,

1443
01:37:28.160 --> 01:37:30.000
if you're gonna choose to operate according to the tree

1444
01:37:30.000 --> 01:37:31.740
of the knowledge of good and evil,

1445
01:37:31.740 --> 01:37:35.160
and you're not going to choose to abide in me,

1446
01:37:35.160 --> 01:37:37.560
where you choose that I'm your protection, your provision,

1447
01:37:37.560 --> 01:37:40.480
and you choose to protect and provide for yourself,

1448
01:37:40.480 --> 01:37:43.960
I don't wanna send you out vulnerable in the world alone,

1449
01:37:43.960 --> 01:37:46.220
so I'm gonna give you some tools.

1450
01:37:46.220 --> 01:37:47.560
I'm gonna give you some things,

1451
01:37:47.580 --> 01:37:50.460
and I think I talked about this in the spiritual warfare

1452
01:37:50.460 --> 01:37:54.500
a lot that I just did, I'm going to make sure

1453
01:37:54.500 --> 01:37:56.140
that you have a way to protect yourself,

1454
01:37:56.140 --> 01:37:57.980
so I'm gonna give you weapons.

1455
01:37:57.980 --> 01:37:59.740
He did that with the prodigal son

1456
01:37:59.740 --> 01:38:01.460
when he sent the prodigal son,

1457
01:38:01.460 --> 01:38:03.500
when the father sent the prodigal son out,

1458
01:38:03.500 --> 01:38:04.340
well, he didn't send him out,

1459
01:38:04.340 --> 01:38:06.340
but the prodigal son said, I wanna leave,

1460
01:38:06.340 --> 01:38:09.940
and so he's like, so give me my inheritance early.

1461
01:38:09.940 --> 01:38:12.820
So the father gave him his inheritance early.

1462
01:38:13.360 --> 01:38:18.360
Instead of requiring that he's like, no, no, I'm sorry,

1463
01:38:20.160 --> 01:38:22.520
you gotta wait until I die, you can still have it,

1464
01:38:22.520 --> 01:38:24.480
but you've gotta wait until I die, he's like, no,

1465
01:38:24.480 --> 01:38:27.800
I don't wanna leave, I don't wanna send him out there

1466
01:38:27.800 --> 01:38:29.880
unprotected and unprovided for,

1467
01:38:29.880 --> 01:38:32.320
he's only ever known my house,

1468
01:38:32.320 --> 01:38:33.240
so he's gonna go out there,

1469
01:38:33.240 --> 01:38:34.840
he doesn't know about how to get a job

1470
01:38:34.840 --> 01:38:36.980
and how to work good at a job and make his own money,

1471
01:38:36.980 --> 01:38:40.960
so I'm gonna send him provision and protection

1472
01:38:40.960 --> 01:38:44.620
so that he's got tools by which he can,

1473
01:38:44.620 --> 01:38:47.980
that he can use to provide for and to protect himself,

1474
01:38:47.980 --> 01:38:50.260
and that's what he did, and then eventually it ran out

1475
01:38:50.260 --> 01:38:51.940
because, again, it leads to nothing but death

1476
01:38:51.940 --> 01:38:53.620
and there's an end to it,

1477
01:38:53.620 --> 01:38:56.160
and so then he has to come back to the father

1478
01:38:56.160 --> 01:38:58.900
from which you can always have everything

1479
01:38:58.900 --> 01:39:02.300
and in whom there is no,

1480
01:39:02.300 --> 01:39:04.940
you never reach the end of it.

1481
01:39:05.900 --> 01:39:10.180
So when the problem is what we believe

1482
01:39:10.180 --> 01:39:12.280
is actually the source of our healing,

1483
01:39:13.240 --> 01:39:16.160
that it's not the Advil that's the source of our healing,

1484
01:39:16.160 --> 01:39:19.160
we're just using it, but it's not our source,

1485
01:39:19.160 --> 01:39:21.520
God is our healer, and so he delights

1486
01:39:21.520 --> 01:39:24.520
even when we're choosing this realm

1487
01:39:24.520 --> 01:39:26.080
because this is where our peace is at

1488
01:39:26.080 --> 01:39:27.720
and this is the amount of faith

1489
01:39:27.720 --> 01:39:30.440
and belief that we have with the Lord.

1490
01:39:30.440 --> 01:39:32.640
There is still an element of belief and faith

1491
01:39:32.640 --> 01:39:33.960
that we have in the Lord,

1492
01:39:33.960 --> 01:39:37.720
but we believe that he's our healer,

1493
01:39:37.720 --> 01:39:39.440
we believe that he's our source,

1494
01:39:39.440 --> 01:39:40.740
but I'm gonna take an Advil

1495
01:39:42.020 --> 01:39:44.420
versus something like a Word of Faith style

1496
01:39:44.420 --> 01:39:47.500
where I believe that the Lord is my healer

1497
01:39:47.500 --> 01:39:48.900
and he is my provider,

1498
01:39:50.340 --> 01:39:55.340
but I require the currency of faith.

1499
01:39:56.420 --> 01:39:58.180
I've gotta declare, declare, declare, declare,

1500
01:39:58.180 --> 01:40:00.780
declare, declare, declare until finally it happens.

1501
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:04.300
happens, you know, and then it's still a lot of work in that area.

1502
01:40:04.700 --> 01:40:10.320
Or we can just know, no, I, I receive healing in my body and it manifests in

1503
01:40:10.320 --> 01:40:14.260
my body because God is that good and God is that love and that's, and he

1504
01:40:14.260 --> 01:40:19.580
says that that is who he is and I receive it as a free gift, the free,

1505
01:40:19.620 --> 01:40:21.700
it's a gift freely given freely received.

1506
01:40:21.700 --> 01:40:25.200
And therefore I have a right to expect that it will manifest in my body

1507
01:40:25.680 --> 01:40:29.040
without me having to work for it, but we have to grow to that.

1508
01:40:29.280 --> 01:40:33.300
And in the meantime, while we're growing to that, we, we can, we can believe

1509
01:40:33.300 --> 01:40:37.800
that God is our healer, but I'm going to take Advil and then we just work.

1510
01:40:37.860 --> 01:40:41.860
We, we grow and mature as the Lord fathers us in our faith.

1511
01:40:42.460 --> 01:40:47.040
He's the father of our faith, fathers us in our faith to then, you know,

1512
01:40:47.040 --> 01:40:51.400
believe him more so that we're not as reliant on those tools or whatever.

1513
01:40:51.400 --> 01:40:54.200
So that's why it's not wrong for us to use the tools.

1514
01:40:54.200 --> 01:40:55.320
They were created by the Lord.

1515
01:40:55.740 --> 01:40:56.880
Jesus used tools.

1516
01:40:57.000 --> 01:40:58.260
Um, he was a carpenter.

1517
01:40:58.580 --> 01:40:59.460
He used tools.

1518
01:40:59.900 --> 01:41:04.980
Um, and, uh, when he knew how to, he knew how to calm the wind in the ways by word.

1519
01:41:05.500 --> 01:41:09.940
So why would a carpenter use tools if, if he could, if he could command, um,

1520
01:41:09.940 --> 01:41:13.860
creation to do whatever he wanted it to do, because there's nothing wrong with it.

1521
01:41:14.420 --> 01:41:20.740
It's in, we just need to not, um, believe that it's the source of

1522
01:41:20.740 --> 01:41:22.580
what provides for and protects us.

1523
01:41:22.820 --> 01:41:27.740
We use it, but it's not our provision and our protection.

1524
01:41:28.300 --> 01:41:32.020
So that's the difference between using it, believing, Oh my goodness,

1525
01:41:32.020 --> 01:41:35.700
I have to have this or why I'm not protected and provided for versus

1526
01:41:36.100 --> 01:41:37.980
God protects and provides for me anyway.

1527
01:41:38.300 --> 01:41:39.180
And I can use this.

1528
01:41:40.900 --> 01:41:41.900
Is that help?

1529
01:41:42.660 --> 01:41:42.860
Yeah.

1530
01:41:42.860 --> 01:41:44.540
That's interesting about the tools.

1531
01:41:44.540 --> 01:41:44.780
Yeah.

1532
01:41:44.780 --> 01:41:49.940
Like Jesus used tools, but he didn't really need to, because he could

1533
01:41:49.940 --> 01:41:54.840
have produced a house, you know, from nothing if he wanted.

1534
01:41:54.840 --> 01:41:55.300
Right.

1535
01:41:55.780 --> 01:41:56.020
Yeah.

1536
01:41:57.140 --> 01:42:02.260
And when he would go out with his disciples on, on a boat, um, it would

1537
01:42:02.260 --> 01:42:06.300
take them a while to row all the way across, except every now and then.

1538
01:42:06.980 --> 01:42:12.100
Uh, at least one situation it mentioned immediately, they, they got to shore.

1539
01:42:12.380 --> 01:42:18.340
I think it was when, um, I think it was when the, uh, when Peter was

1540
01:42:18.340 --> 01:42:22.060
called out to walk on the water and, and then they got back in the boat

1541
01:42:22.060 --> 01:42:23.940
and he said, Oh, you have a little faith, you know, dah, dah, dah.

1542
01:42:23.940 --> 01:42:25.860
And it said immediately they reached the other side.

1543
01:42:26.860 --> 01:42:31.260
And so in other words, that there are times in which God, you know, Jesus,

1544
01:42:31.260 --> 01:42:36.100
you know, superseded the, um, and told the physical laws and physical creation

1545
01:42:36.100 --> 01:42:37.500
hand wants to do something different.

1546
01:42:37.820 --> 01:42:40.620
But at all those other times, they, they got in the boat and they had

1547
01:42:40.620 --> 01:42:44.300
to row all the way out there and they had to do this and Jesus cooked fish.

1548
01:42:44.300 --> 01:42:50.740
And Jesus even ate, even after he had a spiritual body, he physically

1549
01:42:50.860 --> 01:42:55.460
chewed and ate in their presence to prove that he had a spirit, that he had a fit,

1550
01:42:55.460 --> 01:42:57.620
that even though it was a spiritual body and he could go through

1551
01:42:57.620 --> 01:42:59.700
walls, it was still physical.

1552
01:43:01.420 --> 01:43:03.340
So there's nothing wrong with any of those things.

1553
01:43:03.340 --> 01:43:04.780
Those are very, very good things.

1554
01:43:04.900 --> 01:43:07.860
We just need to make sure that they're not our, our, our source and our provision.

1555
01:43:10.020 --> 01:43:11.380
Yeah, but no, that's good.

1556
01:43:11.420 --> 01:43:19.460
I, I think, yeah, just continuing to just keep that focus and just shift, shift,

1557
01:43:19.460 --> 01:43:27.140
shift, and maybe it'll be five minutes one day and six minutes and then four

1558
01:43:27.140 --> 01:43:29.660
minutes the next, and then maybe it'll bump up a bit, right?

1559
01:43:29.660 --> 01:43:31.060
Like, is this kind of the process?

1560
01:43:31.060 --> 01:43:36.020
A lot of times that while you're practicing it, most people don't get it right away.

1561
01:43:36.020 --> 01:43:42.140
They kind of have to go through, uh, Oh yeah, it's just a choice that I make

1562
01:43:42.140 --> 01:43:46.340
is the fact that, okay, now I'm going to believe God, I'm going to believe God.

1563
01:43:46.380 --> 01:43:49.420
And I wake up every day thinking, okay, now I'm going to believe God.

1564
01:43:49.980 --> 01:43:53.580
And, and then I just, and I, I'm sure that I flow in and out of it.

1565
01:43:54.060 --> 01:43:57.380
But the thing is that I don't try to think about whether or not I'm

1566
01:43:57.380 --> 01:43:58.220
flowing in and out of it.

1567
01:43:58.220 --> 01:43:59.180
And am I in rest?

1568
01:43:59.180 --> 01:43:59.900
Am I not in rest?

1569
01:43:59.940 --> 01:44:00.700
I don't know.

1570
01:44:00.740 --> 01:44:02.020
I don't pay any attention.

1571
01:44:02.340 --> 01:44:05.380
I just, I just make it periodically.

1572
01:44:05.380 --> 01:44:09.860
I just, I just think in my, in my spirit, even without thinking of it consciously,

1573
01:44:10.460 --> 01:44:13.620
I'm going to choose that, that, that whatever God says is true.

1574
01:44:13.660 --> 01:44:14.380
I'm going to choose that.

1575
01:44:14.380 --> 01:44:15.940
I am who God says that I am.

1576
01:44:16.220 --> 01:44:17.140
God says that I'm righteous.

1577
01:44:17.140 --> 01:44:19.140
I'm going to choose to believe that I'm righteous.

1578
01:44:19.700 --> 01:44:23.380
And therefore, if I, if I know that I'm righteous, what would a righteous person

1579
01:44:23.380 --> 01:44:24.940
do, what, what do I want to do now?

1580
01:44:24.980 --> 01:44:27.540
And if I know all things, what, what would I do?

1581
01:44:27.540 --> 01:44:32.740
And, um, if I, if I'm, if I'm the Lord, well, then I love all people.

1582
01:44:33.180 --> 01:44:36.820
And if I, you know, and therefore there's no one that's unlovable and it's very

1583
01:44:36.820 --> 01:44:39.500
easy to love this person or that person.

1584
01:44:39.500 --> 01:44:43.100
It doesn't matter what, what brokenness of himself that they're presenting to me.

1585
01:44:43.380 --> 01:44:45.100
I don't have any issue with them whatsoever.

1586
01:44:45.100 --> 01:44:47.740
It's, it's just, it's just this choosing.

1587
01:44:47.740 --> 01:44:51.540
I don't, I don't think, okay, I'm shifted into rest and I've been in rest for this

1588
01:44:51.540 --> 01:44:55.020
long and I shipped out of rest and oh, I'm noticing myself shifting in and out of rest.

1589
01:44:55.820 --> 01:44:59.020
I don't notice that particularly.

1590
01:44:59.300 --> 01:44:59.980
I just, whenever.

1591
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:01.960
or I notice something that I feel unsettled

1592
01:45:01.960 --> 01:45:03.000
or I don't feel at peace.

1593
01:45:03.000 --> 01:45:06.720
I'm like, okay, who am I?

1594
01:45:06.720 --> 01:45:08.160
Right, I'm gonna choose it.

1595
01:45:08.160 --> 01:45:09.720
And I choose it and then I go about my day.

1596
01:45:09.720 --> 01:45:12.120
I don't stop and like try to dwell on it and focus on it.

1597
01:45:12.120 --> 01:45:13.400
That's exhausting.

1598
01:45:13.400 --> 01:45:16.920
That's trying for rest, that's striving for rest.

1599
01:45:16.920 --> 01:45:19.880
And we don't need to, it's effortless.

1600
01:45:19.880 --> 01:45:22.520
We just need to let go of our resistance.

1601
01:45:23.720 --> 01:45:28.720
So have you ever made up like a sheet that says,

1602
01:45:29.040 --> 01:45:31.120
this is who God says you are.

1603
01:45:31.120 --> 01:45:32.680
These are his promises.

1604
01:45:32.680 --> 01:45:35.640
Have you ever made something like that up for anybody?

1605
01:45:35.640 --> 01:45:36.720
I haven't.

1606
01:45:36.720 --> 01:45:39.120
The reason that I haven't is there's a lot

1607
01:45:39.120 --> 01:45:42.480
that are already out there and they don't work.

1608
01:45:42.480 --> 01:45:43.320
Yeah.

1609
01:45:43.320 --> 01:45:45.600
I'm not saying that they don't work.

1610
01:45:45.600 --> 01:45:48.400
We've all read them and our lives haven't changed.

1611
01:45:48.400 --> 01:45:49.560
That's my point.

1612
01:45:49.560 --> 01:45:51.280
Well, and that's why I was wondering,

1613
01:45:51.280 --> 01:45:54.560
like if somebody wants to believe who they are in Christ

1614
01:45:54.560 --> 01:45:59.000
or his promises, wouldn't meditating on something

1615
01:45:59.000 --> 01:46:02.440
like that help them at least know what they are?

1616
01:46:02.440 --> 01:46:06.880
Like, so what's the difference between looking at that

1617
01:46:06.880 --> 01:46:09.000
and like saying, okay, I'm gonna believe this

1618
01:46:09.000 --> 01:46:14.000
and shift into that belief versus this abstract belief.

1619
01:46:14.320 --> 01:46:16.880
Like, I feel like if somebody doesn't know

1620
01:46:16.880 --> 01:46:19.760
what the promises are or they don't know who they are

1621
01:46:19.760 --> 01:46:22.840
in Christ, then they might struggle with that.

1622
01:46:22.840 --> 01:46:26.320
Yeah, and you're right.

1623
01:46:26.320 --> 01:46:29.360
If they don't know who it is that God says that they are,

1624
01:46:29.360 --> 01:46:30.960
then yeah, they would struggle.

1625
01:46:35.720 --> 01:46:38.160
So I've never, it's interesting,

1626
01:46:38.160 --> 01:46:39.800
I've never had anybody ask that

1627
01:46:39.800 --> 01:46:42.600
because everybody so far that's come to me,

1628
01:46:42.600 --> 01:46:44.840
they know who it is that God says that they are

1629
01:46:44.840 --> 01:46:47.360
because they've told themselves

1630
01:46:47.360 --> 01:46:50.400
and they've preached it to themselves and others so long.

1631
01:46:50.400 --> 01:46:51.520
They all know it.

1632
01:46:51.520 --> 01:46:53.400
They just don't believe it.

1633
01:46:53.400 --> 01:46:55.520
And so now they're having to come face-to-face

1634
01:46:55.520 --> 01:46:58.320
with the fact that, well, I know who Jesus is.

1635
01:46:58.320 --> 01:47:00.720
So therefore, that's who I need to choose

1636
01:47:00.720 --> 01:47:02.040
to believe that I am.

1637
01:47:03.240 --> 01:47:06.680
So I've never had anybody ask me about like specific,

1638
01:47:06.680 --> 01:47:08.480
whatever, I have noticed, obviously,

1639
01:47:08.480 --> 01:47:10.480
sometimes we forget certain things

1640
01:47:10.480 --> 01:47:12.320
so that when I mentioned them in teaching,

1641
01:47:12.320 --> 01:47:14.760
so like, oh, that's right, that is who I am

1642
01:47:14.760 --> 01:47:17.600
or that is who Jesus, you know, oh, it's so obvious

1643
01:47:17.600 --> 01:47:19.960
that that is who Jesus is and that is what he did.

1644
01:47:20.040 --> 01:47:22.000
And so therefore, wow, if he could do it,

1645
01:47:22.000 --> 01:47:23.200
well, then I can do it.

1646
01:47:23.200 --> 01:47:28.200
But yeah, but I haven't written anything up.

1647
01:47:28.960 --> 01:47:31.440
Jesus says that we are all of these things,

1648
01:47:31.440 --> 01:47:35.000
but there are all kinds of ones that are already online

1649
01:47:35.000 --> 01:47:37.440
about, you know, that people could pull up

1650
01:47:37.440 --> 01:47:40.800
of Christian identity or, you know,

1651
01:47:40.800 --> 01:47:42.560
who it is that God says that we are

1652
01:47:42.560 --> 01:47:45.080
or in the scripture references and whatever,

1653
01:47:45.080 --> 01:47:46.920
but no, I've never done one.

1654
01:47:47.440 --> 01:47:48.680
I've seen a bunch of them too.

1655
01:47:48.680 --> 01:47:51.320
And I've taught a little bit on identity

1656
01:47:51.320 --> 01:47:53.920
and well, I've taught quite a bit about identity.

1657
01:47:53.920 --> 01:47:55.400
I was gonna say, I thought that you taught

1658
01:47:55.400 --> 01:47:56.240
quite a bit about it.

1659
01:47:56.240 --> 01:47:57.760
Yeah, I do.

1660
01:47:57.760 --> 01:47:59.440
And like worth and value.

1661
01:47:59.440 --> 01:48:02.360
And like I go into the deeper during our coaching sessions,

1662
01:48:02.360 --> 01:48:06.080
we talk more about those blocks to believing.

1663
01:48:06.080 --> 01:48:08.280
Now, this is a different way of looking at it

1664
01:48:08.280 --> 01:48:10.120
that I haven't looked at before.

1665
01:48:10.120 --> 01:48:11.840
Yeah, there's some really awesome.

1666
01:48:13.320 --> 01:48:16.560
And so one of your videos,

1667
01:48:17.240 --> 01:48:18.480
I can't remember if it was the first one I watched

1668
01:48:18.480 --> 01:48:21.760
where you were talking about how we are one with God

1669
01:48:21.760 --> 01:48:25.720
and how, you know, we came out of Adam

1670
01:48:25.720 --> 01:48:26.960
and like, that was really cool.

1671
01:48:26.960 --> 01:48:28.000
I'd never thought about it that way,

1672
01:48:28.000 --> 01:48:30.800
about Jesus being pierced in the water and the blood

1673
01:48:30.800 --> 01:48:33.400
and his side being cut open and Adams.

1674
01:48:33.400 --> 01:48:34.440
That was really neat.

1675
01:48:36.280 --> 01:48:41.280
What were the verses if you remember on that aspect

1676
01:48:41.280 --> 01:48:45.520
of us coming, being part of him and coming out of him?

1677
01:48:45.520 --> 01:48:47.200
Do you remember where those were?

1678
01:48:48.680 --> 01:48:50.200
Are you talking about related?

1679
01:48:52.000 --> 01:48:57.000
Let's see, I think it's Romans eight.

1680
01:49:00.240 --> 01:49:01.080
It's a good chapter.

1681
01:49:01.080 --> 01:49:05.360
I think it's Romans eight that says he chose us in him.

1682
01:49:07.200 --> 01:49:12.200
Yeah, it was something, it was something about that.

1683
01:49:12.200 --> 01:49:14.400
Like it was basically you were referencing

1684
01:49:14.400 --> 01:49:19.400
the fact that we are him, we are,

1685
01:49:19.480 --> 01:49:21.800
we came from him, we are him, we.

1686
01:49:21.800 --> 01:49:25.360
Yeah, it says, you know, that we're one spirit with Christ.

1687
01:49:25.360 --> 01:49:26.200
We're God's.

1688
01:49:27.960 --> 01:49:28.800
Other than we're God's,

1689
01:49:28.800 --> 01:49:30.200
I talked about that in the teaching,

1690
01:49:30.200 --> 01:49:35.160
right about the fact that it says Jesus used us as a,

1691
01:49:35.160 --> 01:49:38.080
Jesus used Psalm, what was it, 81 or whatever

1692
01:49:38.080 --> 01:49:39.840
as proof that he was son of God.

1693
01:49:39.840 --> 01:49:40.760
Yeah, there's that.

1694
01:49:40.760 --> 01:49:42.880
I believe it's Romans eight that talks about the fact

1695
01:49:42.920 --> 01:49:46.560
that he chose us in him before the creation of the world.

1696
01:49:46.560 --> 01:49:49.400
So in other words, we were in him and he chose us in him,

1697
01:49:50.600 --> 01:49:53.480
you know, not that we would be joined to him,

1698
01:49:53.480 --> 01:49:55.760
but that we chose this in him.

1699
01:49:55.760 --> 01:49:58.480
And then, and then we were,

1700
01:49:58.480 --> 01:50:00.000
it says that anyone who.

1701
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:05.520
as, oh, oh, and then there was Abraham, but I think that was still, wasn't that still

1702
01:50:05.520 --> 01:50:06.520
Romans eight?

1703
01:50:06.520 --> 01:50:10.660
It was just later on in the chapter about the fact that it says that we're one seed

1704
01:50:10.660 --> 01:50:11.660
with Christ.

1705
01:50:11.660 --> 01:50:12.660
So we've been rejoined.

1706
01:50:12.660 --> 01:50:15.820
We've been rejoined.

1707
01:50:15.820 --> 01:50:17.300
Is that from one with God?

1708
01:50:17.300 --> 01:50:18.740
That must be from one with God.

1709
01:50:18.740 --> 01:50:19.740
Yes.

1710
01:50:19.740 --> 01:50:20.740
All of that's one with God.

1711
01:50:20.740 --> 01:50:21.740
Yeah.

1712
01:50:21.740 --> 01:50:22.740
Yeah.

1713
01:50:22.740 --> 01:50:26.700
So that part of it, I thought that was interesting because I hadn't thought about that being

1714
01:50:26.700 --> 01:50:30.620
one with God and that we're one seed.

1715
01:50:30.620 --> 01:50:31.700
Yeah.

1716
01:50:31.700 --> 01:50:35.340
I wanted to, yeah, I wanted to go back to those verses, but I couldn't remember where

1717
01:50:35.340 --> 01:50:38.060
I feel like I've gotten so many great things.

1718
01:50:38.060 --> 01:50:41.580
I can't remember where all of them are, which is why I started taking notes.

1719
01:50:41.580 --> 01:50:42.580
Yeah.

1720
01:50:42.580 --> 01:50:47.300
I recommend reading the entire chapter of Romans eight.

1721
01:50:47.300 --> 01:50:51.860
Just that talking about that unity that we have with the Lord is amazing.

1722
01:50:51.860 --> 01:50:52.860
There's also Galatians.

1723
01:50:53.380 --> 01:50:58.020
Is it in Galatians maybe that it's referencing Abraham in one seed?

1724
01:50:58.020 --> 01:50:59.020
It might be Galatians.

1725
01:50:59.020 --> 01:51:00.660
It's referencing Abraham.

1726
01:51:00.660 --> 01:51:09.300
Galatians is another one that as a really good book and Ephesians, probably especially

1727
01:51:09.300 --> 01:51:12.660
Ephesians talking about our identity.

1728
01:51:12.660 --> 01:51:17.980
That's really good and strong identity book, but yeah, there's stuff in Galatians as well.

1729
01:51:17.980 --> 01:51:24.380
I don't remember if it's Galatians five that mentions Abraham and being one seed with Christ

1730
01:51:24.380 --> 01:51:25.380
and all of that.

1731
01:51:25.380 --> 01:51:26.380
I'll probably go through.

1732
01:51:26.380 --> 01:51:33.260
I got to read through Romans, Galatians, and Ephesians again, like in their entirety.

1733
01:51:33.260 --> 01:51:37.580
A friend and I are going through the Bible right now together, like kind of a chapter

1734
01:51:37.580 --> 01:51:45.620
a day, which is cool, but I'd like to get back into those ones because those ones are

1735
01:51:45.620 --> 01:51:46.620
awesome.

1736
01:51:46.620 --> 01:51:47.620
We just did Genesis.

1737
01:51:48.260 --> 01:51:49.260
We're doing Exodus now.

1738
01:51:49.260 --> 01:51:50.260
Oh, nice.

1739
01:51:50.260 --> 01:51:51.260
Yeah.

1740
01:51:51.260 --> 01:51:52.260
So we're going right through the...

1741
01:51:52.260 --> 01:51:56.740
We'll see what happens when we get to Numbers.

1742
01:51:56.740 --> 01:52:02.380
I think Numbers, it changed my view on Numbers when I heard that somebody actually became

1743
01:52:02.380 --> 01:52:05.260
a Christian when they were reading Numbers.

1744
01:52:05.260 --> 01:52:06.260
That's really interesting.

1745
01:52:06.260 --> 01:52:07.260
Yeah.

1746
01:52:07.260 --> 01:52:08.260
Yeah.

1747
01:52:08.260 --> 01:52:10.260
The genealogy was like blew them away, right?

1748
01:52:10.260 --> 01:52:11.260
Yeah.

1749
01:52:11.260 --> 01:52:12.260
So I know it's all books.

1750
01:52:12.260 --> 01:52:13.260
Yeah.

1751
01:52:14.260 --> 01:52:19.180
One of my favorite books in the Bible is Leviticus, actually, my favorite books.

1752
01:52:19.180 --> 01:52:24.700
I just find it so fascinating because again, there are types and shadows, even as structured

1753
01:52:24.700 --> 01:52:31.580
and as structured as it was, it just, to me, revealed the holiness of the Lord and it's

1754
01:52:31.580 --> 01:52:40.500
a type and a shadow of things in heaven and ways that God has set things up in the way

1755
01:52:40.500 --> 01:52:41.740
that he interacts with us.

1756
01:52:42.220 --> 01:52:48.220
Yes, so much of it though is according to the old covenant, but the nice, the neat thing

1757
01:52:48.220 --> 01:52:56.460
is that the things that they are types and shadows of actually reveal, you can actually

1758
01:52:56.460 --> 01:53:00.060
interpret it in different ways.

1759
01:53:00.060 --> 01:53:06.380
It's got like a layering of interpretation and you could look at it through the Old Testament

1760
01:53:06.380 --> 01:53:10.460
old covenant eyes in which it reveals just the holiness of the Lord and how far that

1761
01:53:10.540 --> 01:53:18.140
we were removed from him and da, da, da, da, da, da, but, or we can look at it and realize

1762
01:53:18.140 --> 01:53:22.140
it is, and see it in the interpretation of it, that those things are still a type and

1763
01:53:22.140 --> 01:53:29.100
a shadow of things that, of things in the spirit and in the spirit, there's complete

1764
01:53:29.100 --> 01:53:30.100
freedom.

1765
01:53:30.100 --> 01:53:31.100
Right.

1766
01:53:31.100 --> 01:53:38.700
And there's not in the, if we see it in the spirit, there are not the restrict, it's not,

1767
01:53:38.700 --> 01:53:47.180
you don't see it in the restrictiveness that it's, that we're, we so easily view all of

1768
01:53:47.180 --> 01:53:54.780
the, all of the instructions and Leviticus and we just see it as just so, I don't know,

1769
01:53:54.780 --> 01:54:01.900
just so structured and stifled and, and, and, and I don't want to say enslaving, but well,

1770
01:54:01.900 --> 01:54:04.940
yeah, no, it is enslaving because I was going to say, I don't want to say that as if I'm

1771
01:54:04.940 --> 01:54:06.500
like saying something that God didn't say.

1772
01:54:06.500 --> 01:54:11.300
And then I remember God did say that he said that the law, that we're a slave to the law.

1773
01:54:11.300 --> 01:54:19.780
And so anyway, but that there's, you can actually interpret it in the way that things are in

1774
01:54:19.780 --> 01:54:20.780
the spirit.

1775
01:54:20.780 --> 01:54:27.620
And so we can actually see that another layer by which we can interpret it is in, from the

1776
01:54:27.620 --> 01:54:29.660
perspective of freedom.

1777
01:54:29.660 --> 01:54:35.220
So that's something that God though, is still showing me how to, how to see that in Leviticus,

1778
01:54:35.220 --> 01:54:36.220
but it is there.

1779
01:54:36.220 --> 01:54:38.940
So it's one of my favorite books.

1780
01:54:38.940 --> 01:54:40.380
Well, thank you.

1781
01:54:40.380 --> 01:54:46.540
And you, like I said, I appreciate all, you know, it's not, it's not your insight, but

1782
01:54:46.540 --> 01:54:50.660
the way you've interpreted it and the way you teach it and share it is like, it's really

1783
01:54:50.660 --> 01:54:54.900
powerful and I appreciate it because I feel like I'm learning a lot and just of things

1784
01:54:54.900 --> 01:54:57.340
that I have never looked at in this way.

1785
01:54:57.340 --> 01:54:59.500
So I appreciate that.

1786
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:03.680
I appreciate your time and your energy and...

1787
01:55:03.680 --> 01:55:06.960
Oh sure, I'm glad to get to visit with you today.

1788
01:55:06.960 --> 01:55:13.040
I'm glad that you're doing well. Yeah, I'm learning a lot. I'm a...

1789
01:55:13.040 --> 01:55:17.760
I feel like there, you know, are pieces I've maybe been missing from

1790
01:55:17.760 --> 01:55:21.840
this puzzle and I'm starting to feel like I'm

1791
01:55:21.840 --> 01:55:25.840
like looking under the sofa and finding them.

1792
01:55:25.840 --> 01:55:28.720
That's exciting. Wow, that's where they are. They've been

1793
01:55:28.720 --> 01:55:32.880
hiding there the whole time. But it kind of does, it kind of feels

1794
01:55:32.880 --> 01:55:35.200
like some of the pieces of the puzzle are coming in and

1795
01:55:35.200 --> 01:55:41.040
I think it'll take me, like I get it and I'm an interesting person

1796
01:55:41.040 --> 01:55:45.280
because I'll sometimes have to hear something

1797
01:55:45.280 --> 01:55:50.480
several times before it really clicks and I get this epiphany.

1798
01:55:50.480 --> 01:55:55.520
Yeah. So sometimes you might repeat yourself a little bit but at some point

1799
01:55:55.520 --> 01:55:59.200
I will, it'll just click. Okay, that's fine.

1800
01:55:59.200 --> 01:56:02.400
It's starting to click a little bit already and

1801
01:56:02.400 --> 01:56:06.880
I'm not quite there yet but I know I'm on the right path and the right journey

1802
01:56:06.880 --> 01:56:09.280
and I appreciate you being a part of it so

1803
01:56:09.280 --> 01:56:12.640
thank you. Oh sure, so glad that you did that and you

1804
01:56:12.640 --> 01:56:15.840
just felt it was between something that the Lord wanted in

1805
01:56:15.840 --> 01:56:20.960
y'all's relationship that he wanted that y'all would allow that

1806
01:56:20.960 --> 01:56:24.400
the rest intensive to be part of your journey and allowed me to be part of

1807
01:56:24.400 --> 01:56:27.440
your journey because it's special and encouraging for me to get to hear from

1808
01:56:27.440 --> 01:56:30.080
other people. You get to watch other people take their

1809
01:56:30.080 --> 01:56:33.280
own unique journey with the Lord and how the Lord is just revealing himself

1810
01:56:33.280 --> 01:56:38.720
and you know to his children and I get edified and encouraged by watching

1811
01:56:38.720 --> 01:56:44.720
others, by watching people that I'm one with in the spirit

1812
01:56:44.720 --> 01:56:47.760
and how the Lord is interacting with them as the Son of God is the way that

1813
01:56:47.760 --> 01:56:50.480
the Lord is interacting with me because the way

1814
01:56:50.480 --> 01:56:54.320
that he interacts with you is him interacting with me. He's

1815
01:56:54.480 --> 01:56:58.640
giving because if we're one in the Lord well then I get to receive

1816
01:56:58.640 --> 01:57:02.720
if I and if I receive you you know whoever receives a prophet

1817
01:57:02.720 --> 01:57:07.040
whoever receives a prophet receives a prophet's reward so if I receive

1818
01:57:07.040 --> 01:57:10.960
the beautiful ways in which God is manifesting himself

1819
01:57:10.960 --> 01:57:15.600
to you and revealing his character to you then I get to receive the benefits

1820
01:57:15.600 --> 01:57:21.440
of that is if he had done it in my life

1821
01:57:21.440 --> 01:57:24.560
so because it's my father manifesting himself to his son

1822
01:57:24.560 --> 01:57:28.560
and he'll manifest himself to his son or the character

1823
01:57:28.560 --> 01:57:34.240
of himself will be manifested in that way in my life as well

1824
01:57:34.240 --> 01:57:38.480
if I receive with someone the way that he interacts with someone else

1825
01:57:38.480 --> 01:57:42.720
hopefully that made sense but anyway yeah the one verse you just quoted

1826
01:57:42.720 --> 01:57:48.000
about the prophecy the prophet he receives a prophet receives a prophet's

1827
01:57:48.000 --> 01:57:51.280
reward yeah do you know where that one is

1828
01:57:51.280 --> 01:57:54.960
I don't you might want to google that you here receives a

1829
01:57:54.960 --> 01:58:00.480
prophet receives a prophet's reward and the all the verse all of the

1830
01:58:00.480 --> 01:58:04.480
translations say it slightly differently I believe some say like whoever gets a

1831
01:58:04.480 --> 01:58:07.120
prophet a drink and then another one I think says

1832
01:58:07.120 --> 01:58:10.800
something like whoever honors a prophet I know it's just they're all slightly

1833
01:58:10.800 --> 01:58:15.200
different that's just a paraphrase how did you learn so much about the bible

1834
01:58:15.200 --> 01:58:19.120
did you just study it yourself or did you follow someone

1835
01:58:19.120 --> 01:58:25.760
um yeah I uh I went to a school well I was homeschooled but it was a

1836
01:58:25.760 --> 01:58:29.040
curriculum that uh really drilled a lot of bible king

1837
01:58:29.040 --> 01:58:32.160
james so I can recite a lot of scripture very

1838
01:58:32.160 --> 01:58:37.440
poetically wow that's amazing so well well you know

1839
01:58:37.440 --> 01:58:40.400
because the king james you know it's just very very poetic so

1840
01:58:40.400 --> 01:58:44.320
I've forgotten uh and and I've just heard so much I had just

1841
01:58:44.320 --> 01:58:48.480
just uh and then of course I was a um missionary kid

1842
01:58:48.480 --> 01:58:51.600
and so we had a lot of a lot of bible you know that we talked about in the

1843
01:58:51.600 --> 01:58:55.280
home but then the majority of it was in school

1844
01:58:55.280 --> 01:58:58.960
went to college that just delved in in fact in my college we

1845
01:58:58.960 --> 01:59:02.640
were in we were in church seven times a week

1846
01:59:02.640 --> 01:59:07.520
so it's very extreme and anyway but I I chose it in my own

1847
01:59:07.520 --> 01:59:12.480
relation for lord and uh when um that this is

1848
01:59:12.480 --> 01:59:14.960
that it was important to me to spend time with them to spend time in this

1849
01:59:14.960 --> 01:59:19.280
word and I would just literally I have literally spent I don't know how

1850
01:59:19.280 --> 01:59:23.600
much of my life what percentage of my life pouring over

1851
01:59:23.600 --> 01:59:26.560
you know scriptures going to a coffee shop and sitting there for hours and

1852
01:59:26.560 --> 01:59:29.760
just talking to the lord about it you know reading through the life of

1853
01:59:29.760 --> 01:59:33.920
joseph reading through passage in romans and just like mulling over it and

1854
01:59:33.920 --> 01:59:37.440
cross-referencing and I just enjoyed it because I was seeking

1855
01:59:37.440 --> 01:59:40.320
the lord unfortunately I was not seeking him in

1856
01:59:40.320 --> 01:59:45.120
rest but um I was seeking him and uh anyway

1857
01:59:45.120 --> 01:59:48.000
he's I always asked him that he would give me

1858
01:59:48.000 --> 01:59:52.000
himself and um and he has so and he's continuing

1859
01:59:52.000 --> 01:59:56.080
to do so but anyway maybe he uh

1860
01:59:56.080 --> 01:59:59.440
maybe he allowed you not to seek him in rest for a little while so you would

1861
01:59:59.440 --> 02:00:02.000
understand

1862
02:00:00.000 --> 02:00:02.000
and that aspect of it.

1863
02:00:02.000 --> 02:00:03.240
Other people, yeah.

1864
02:00:03.240 --> 02:00:05.880
Yeah, yeah, you never know.

1865
02:00:05.880 --> 02:00:07.640
That empathy that you have

1866
02:00:07.640 --> 02:00:10.000
because you've experienced those things, right?

1867
02:00:10.000 --> 02:00:11.800
All at the strike.

1868
02:00:11.800 --> 02:00:12.920
Yeah, I know.

1869
02:00:12.920 --> 02:00:17.400
And you've seen the difference with you being in rest

1870
02:00:17.400 --> 02:00:22.240
so much more now and how that feels so much more peaceful.

1871
02:00:22.240 --> 02:00:24.360
I do think that there are a lot of people out there

1872
02:00:24.360 --> 02:00:28.600
that they don't experience that true freedom

1873
02:00:28.600 --> 02:00:31.040
that Jesus died for us to have,

1874
02:00:31.040 --> 02:00:35.360
that abundant freedom, abundant love.

1875
02:00:36.960 --> 02:00:39.160
I think I'm closer than I ever have been

1876
02:00:39.160 --> 02:00:41.360
and I still don't think I'm anywhere close

1877
02:00:41.360 --> 02:00:43.080
to where I could be, you know?

1878
02:00:43.080 --> 02:00:48.080
It's just like, you're so close, but you're not,

1879
02:00:48.200 --> 02:00:49.040
like, it's weird.

1880
02:00:49.040 --> 02:00:51.000
It's like a mental block or something.

1881
02:00:51.000 --> 02:00:54.080
Yeah, we'll never get to the end of it, I believe.

1882
02:00:54.080 --> 02:00:56.760
I believe that it goes on for infinity

1883
02:00:56.760 --> 02:00:58.960
because God goes on for infinity.

1884
02:00:58.960 --> 02:01:01.200
He has no beginning or end.

1885
02:01:01.200 --> 02:01:03.040
And therefore, we'll never get to the end of Him,

1886
02:01:03.040 --> 02:01:04.000
even in eternity.

1887
02:01:04.000 --> 02:01:08.040
Even being one with Him, we'll never get to,

1888
02:01:08.040 --> 02:01:11.000
there's an aspect in which we also are infinite,

1889
02:01:11.000 --> 02:01:13.880
but the understanding, the realization,

1890
02:01:13.880 --> 02:01:18.880
and just the relationship that we have with Him,

1891
02:01:19.240 --> 02:01:22.760
we will never get to the end of who it is that He is.

1892
02:01:22.760 --> 02:01:24.160
We'll never get to the end of His love,

1893
02:01:24.200 --> 02:01:27.200
we'll never get to the end of His goodness,

1894
02:01:28.120 --> 02:01:31.720
and even in eternity, so.

1895
02:01:31.720 --> 02:01:34.160
I know, it's a cool journey.

1896
02:01:34.160 --> 02:01:35.000
Yeah, it is.

1897
02:01:35.000 --> 02:01:35.840
I'm very grateful for it.

1898
02:01:35.840 --> 02:01:37.080
It's very beautiful.

1899
02:01:37.080 --> 02:01:37.920
Yeah.

1900
02:01:37.920 --> 02:01:40.240
I mean, we couldn't, I personally couldn't imagine,

1901
02:01:40.240 --> 02:01:42.320
when I stepped out into this,

1902
02:01:42.320 --> 02:01:45.280
I just thought that wouldn't,

1903
02:01:46.240 --> 02:01:48.880
I thought, that sounds like such a wonderful way

1904
02:01:48.880 --> 02:01:50.520
to have a relationship with the Lord.

1905
02:01:50.520 --> 02:01:52.880
I would like it to work like that.

1906
02:01:52.880 --> 02:01:57.320
And if I could come up with,

1907
02:01:58.320 --> 02:02:01.160
if I could come up with anything out of my head,

1908
02:02:01.160 --> 02:02:04.560
that I wanted, the way that I would want the world to work,

1909
02:02:04.560 --> 02:02:06.560
and the way that I would want my relationship with God

1910
02:02:06.560 --> 02:02:09.280
to be in actuality, it would be this.

1911
02:02:09.280 --> 02:02:11.040
And so I told the Lord,

1912
02:02:11.040 --> 02:02:12.880
when I was hearing about all of these things,

1913
02:02:12.880 --> 02:02:15.880
I was like, hey Lord, I don't know if it's true or not,

1914
02:02:15.880 --> 02:02:19.360
I sure do would like it, I sure would like it to be true,

1915
02:02:19.360 --> 02:02:22.160
and so I'm just gonna step out in faith that it's true.

1916
02:02:22.200 --> 02:02:23.600
And so, and he met me there,

1917
02:02:23.600 --> 02:02:25.080
and so he said, I'm just warning you,

1918
02:02:25.080 --> 02:02:27.880
so you can correct me when I'm in the middle of it,

1919
02:02:27.880 --> 02:02:29.240
that, hey, Ashley, I'm just not here,

1920
02:02:29.240 --> 02:02:31.280
and this is not right, and this isn't accurate,

1921
02:02:31.280 --> 02:02:33.680
but I'm just warning you, I'm going in,

1922
02:02:33.680 --> 02:02:37.880
so correct me while I'm in there if it's wrong.

1923
02:02:37.880 --> 02:02:40.600
So, and instead, he revealed himself.

1924
02:02:40.600 --> 02:02:41.960
He was like, here I am.

1925
02:02:41.960 --> 02:02:43.160
It's like, oh my Lord.

1926
02:02:44.200 --> 02:02:45.760
So yeah, it's beautiful.

1927
02:02:45.760 --> 02:02:46.600
But yeah.

1928
02:02:46.600 --> 02:02:47.440
So good.

1929
02:02:47.440 --> 02:02:49.000
Well, it's good to visit with you.

1930
02:02:49.000 --> 02:02:50.960
Oh, I'm sorry, did you have something else?

1931
02:02:50.960 --> 02:02:51.800
No, no, no.

1932
02:02:51.800 --> 02:02:52.760
No, that was great.

1933
02:02:52.760 --> 02:02:56.080
I just wanted to say thanks.

1934
02:02:56.080 --> 02:02:57.480
Well, thank you.

1935
02:02:57.480 --> 02:02:58.600
I hope you have a good night.

1936
02:02:58.600 --> 02:03:01.320
It is 10 o'clock there.

1937
02:03:01.320 --> 02:03:02.680
It's so late.

1938
02:03:02.680 --> 02:03:05.720
Yeah, it'll be my bedtime pretty soon.

1939
02:03:06.960 --> 02:03:09.560
Well, I hope you sleep well and get rest.

1940
02:03:09.560 --> 02:03:10.400
I will.

1941
02:03:10.400 --> 02:03:12.800
I always, I tend to sleep very well.

1942
02:03:12.800 --> 02:03:15.120
My body loves sleep.

1943
02:03:15.120 --> 02:03:15.960
Good.

1944
02:03:15.960 --> 02:03:17.440
Yes.

1945
02:03:17.440 --> 02:03:18.680
Yeah, no, this was great.

1946
02:03:18.680 --> 02:03:21.960
And I'll, yeah, I'm sure we'll be in touch

1947
02:03:21.960 --> 02:03:23.160
at some point soon.

1948
02:03:23.160 --> 02:03:26.960
And I guess as far as the units,

1949
02:03:26.960 --> 02:03:28.760
I'll just keep watching the videos

1950
02:03:28.760 --> 02:03:32.160
and then have another call with you next week.

1951
02:03:32.160 --> 02:03:34.680
And then in between, just Marco Polo or message you.

1952
02:03:34.680 --> 02:03:35.520
Yeah.

1953
02:03:35.520 --> 02:03:36.360
If I have any.

1954
02:03:36.360 --> 02:03:37.200
Yeah.

1955
02:03:37.200 --> 02:03:39.640
And as far as the sessions,

1956
02:03:39.640 --> 02:03:41.440
if you want to keep going as you're going

1957
02:03:41.440 --> 02:03:43.800
and then go back and watch two, three, and four,

1958
02:03:43.800 --> 02:03:46.920
or if you want to go back up to two and three and four now

1959
02:03:46.920 --> 02:03:48.280
before you go, whichever.

1960
02:03:48.880 --> 02:03:49.720
Because the ones that you're on now

1961
02:03:49.720 --> 02:03:52.160
are about how to apply it in rest.

1962
02:03:52.160 --> 02:03:53.760
But the ones two, three, and four

1963
02:03:53.760 --> 02:03:56.520
are literally the practical steps

1964
02:03:56.520 --> 02:03:58.000
we take to shift into rest

1965
02:03:58.000 --> 02:04:00.920
and what belief means and all of that.

1966
02:04:00.920 --> 02:04:02.280
So just whenever you're ready.

1967
02:04:02.280 --> 02:04:04.240
But it sounded from the questions that you asked

1968
02:04:04.240 --> 02:04:07.480
that you were needing the two trees

1969
02:04:07.480 --> 02:04:09.920
and the three realms teaching pretty quick.

1970
02:04:09.920 --> 02:04:11.440
So I recommended those first.

1971
02:04:11.440 --> 02:04:15.720
So now you can go back to the practical steps

1972
02:04:15.720 --> 02:04:17.400
so that you know how to actually shift

1973
02:04:17.440 --> 02:04:18.840
into rest in a moment

1974
02:04:18.840 --> 02:04:20.680
and then go into the application

1975
02:04:20.680 --> 02:04:23.400
or the application and then the how to,

1976
02:04:23.400 --> 02:04:24.280
whatever you want to do.

1977
02:04:24.280 --> 02:04:25.120
Okay, yeah.

1978
02:04:25.120 --> 02:04:25.960
No, that's good.

1979
02:04:25.960 --> 02:04:26.800
Because I was going to,

1980
02:04:26.800 --> 02:04:28.520
maybe I'll do nine and then I'll go back

1981
02:04:28.520 --> 02:04:29.360
and I'll do those ones

1982
02:04:29.360 --> 02:04:31.400
because I wasn't sure if I should.

1983
02:04:31.400 --> 02:04:33.080
Yeah, that sounds good to me.

1984
02:04:33.080 --> 02:04:34.320
I will do that.

1985
02:04:34.320 --> 02:04:36.880
And I'm sure I'll have some questions

1986
02:04:36.880 --> 02:04:38.200
as I'm taking my notes.

1987
02:04:38.200 --> 02:04:41.240
So I will reach out and-

1988
02:04:41.240 --> 02:04:42.080
Sounds good.

1989
02:04:42.080 --> 02:04:43.760
Yeah, always feel free to.

1990
02:04:43.760 --> 02:04:45.280
Thank you.

1991
02:04:45.280 --> 02:04:47.200
All right, well, enjoy your evening

1992
02:04:48.040 --> 02:04:48.880
and enjoy your,

1993
02:04:48.880 --> 02:04:49.720
I guess you haven't had dinner yet.

1994
02:04:49.720 --> 02:04:51.400
What's the time difference there?

1995
02:04:51.400 --> 02:04:52.800
It's nine here.

1996
02:04:52.800 --> 02:04:54.320
So it's central time.

1997
02:04:54.320 --> 02:04:55.600
And you haven't had supper.

1998
02:04:55.600 --> 02:04:56.440
So you-

1999
02:04:56.440 --> 02:04:57.880
Oh, I'm fine.

2000
02:04:57.880 --> 02:04:58.720
Okay.

2001
02:04:58.720 --> 02:04:59.560
If it was very important,

2002
02:04:59.560 --> 02:05:00.400
I would have-

2003
02:05:00.000 --> 02:05:08.120
it before we got on the call. Okay. How long are you at this place for? A week.

2004
02:05:08.120 --> 02:05:13.500
Okay and then you're off to? Well then I go back to Dallas because I signed up

2005
02:05:13.500 --> 02:05:19.260
for a conference before I knew I was going to be traveling so I'm gonna I'm

2006
02:05:19.260 --> 02:05:22.240
very excited I'm gonna go back to that conference and then I'm gonna head out

2007
02:05:22.240 --> 02:05:31.220
on a longer trip so anyway. Well that's exciting. Cool. Well enjoy and yeah we'll

2008
02:05:31.220 --> 02:05:38.120
talk soon. Okay good to see you. You too. Bye. Bye.