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Hello, welcome. Happy Monday, everyone. Hi, Sandy. Hi, Beth, Mandy, Lenina, Alicia, Judy,

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Leah, let's see, Amanda, Nancy, and I have a couple iPhone or iPads. That's totally fine,

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Nancy, on needing to be on or off of camera, excuse me. All right, well, welcome. I'm Bethany

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Cooper. I'm one of the master hardware coaches here in the community. So glad to be here tonight

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with all of you and just thanking God for all that he's doing in your lives and in this community

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and in this season. If you're joining us new for the first time, please let me know in the chat.

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Let me know if you're here, if this is your first live session with us. I want to welcome you

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if this is your first time joining us for a live session. If not, welcome back for all of my other

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ladies. So glad that you're here. And yeah, I don't think I see anyone that maybe Jovita. Jovita,

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is this your first time? I don't know if I just maybe didn't see your name before on the screen.

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But if it's your first time, welcome. It's not. No, I was there last Saturday.

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Now that I see your face, I remember even you shared. Thank you. Yes. All right. See, sometimes

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I remember faces, ladies. I might not remember your name, but normally if I see your face,

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I will typically remember you. Hi. Look at all your beauties coming on screen without me even having

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to ask officially. I love it. I love it. We're practicing coming out of hiding and being seen

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in this season. Super grateful. If you're joining us for your first live session, please let me know

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that in the chat so that we can welcome you again. Welcome back to all of my other ladies.

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Supernatural Saturday replay, please, ladies. I know I always say this. It's like a broken record,

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but it is really, really important if you all can to listen to these.

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And this last one was about defining your like, why? Like, why do you want a spirit mate?

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And not just in a general sense, but like getting specific, getting real with your heart in the process.

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And so I want to encourage you all to check that out. It is under the replay tab.

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And then we also David Dorman joined last night and we did record that.

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So that's also going to be in your replays. And he helped break that down more to help you all really understand

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how to establish what your why is. OK, so those are going to be super helpful for you.

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I don't know if you've ever been through any kind of coaching, even regarding your purpose and having a why.

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But it's like genuinely when we just have a very general why I want this, but we don't define really why.

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Typically, we don't achieve it. I don't know if you all know that.

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So getting specific and getting real with yourself is going to be really huge in this process.

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Karen, welcome for your first time. I'm so happy that you're here as well.

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But yeah, ladies, let's let's lean into that when you can and stay on course with the horse.

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Oh, my gosh, that did not come out. I did not want to come out.

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That was so funny. If you stay on track with the heartwork, it's going to go really well for you.

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And then you're going to come and have fun moments like that where you can just kind of chuckle at all the things that happen on live sessions.

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We have a lot of fun. We press in. We hear what heaven is saying to us.

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And I believe that God has something really important to say to all of you tonight, even if you are here this afternoon.

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I believe that every session is fresh. At least that's the way I pray.

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So even though the content might be similar, I believe that there's different ideas, different stories or things that come up.

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And even when the coaching happens, just different things come out and are unpacked in each time.

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So we're just going to believe for fresh revelation. And if you'll pray with me, we're going to lean into that.

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Father, thank you so much for who you are. God, thank you that you're an on time God, that you're never late.

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Lord, and I know that even in the in the scriptures that there are times that the enemy tries to hinder the answer.

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Even Jacob, he wrestled with an angel and the delay was the prince of Persia.

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And we know, God, that the enemy tries to delay the answer.

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So I pray, God, that every one of these ladies would have a revelation of your divine promise, your divine love,

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and that you sent the answer even to him. But the enemy did try to delay it, but it didn't.

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It didn't work. God, you came through and the answer did show up. We thank you for that.

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So we just pray tonight that you would help us as your daughters to hear what your spirit is saying,

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that you would help us to have an upgrade from heaven in our understanding of who you are.

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God, that you're not a man that you would lie. God, you're not a trickster. You're not a liar.

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You're not a thief. We thank you that you give us life and give it to us more abundantly, that you invite us.

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us into a supernatural, amazing, good, adventurous, abundant life. God, we get to do this with

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you and we're so grateful that you ask us to be on this journey. God, we thank you for

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revelations and healing, bringing things out of darkness into the light tonight so that

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they can not only come to the surface and that we would feel pain, but God, so we can

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process them so that you can remove those and help us to move forward. We thank you,

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Lord, for any ladies that even just continue to feel this feeling of I'm stuck, I'm stuck,

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I don't know if this is going to work. Lord, I thank you that you would dislodge and remove

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and dismantle every attack and every hindrance that the enemy has set up against them, but

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also Lord, help them to partner with you in aligning themselves with truth and taking

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steps forward every day. We thank you, Lord, for the word tonight. We thank you for revelation

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on it. We thank you that you'll help the ladies' hearts to receive it the way they

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need to. And we just thank you, Holy Spirit, for being here and just having your way. In

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Jesus' name, amen and amen. Y'all, he's not a man that he should lie, right? That's going

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to be our coin phrase throughout tonight. We're going to lean into that as we press

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into our topic together as well. So one of the things I want to do before I tell you

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what the topic is tonight is I want to tell you a little story. And I'm going to start.

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I did tell this this afternoon, but one of the things I want to point out as I start

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to tell the story about my spiritual daughters, I have two spiritual daughters. I call them

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that because I dated their dad for a long time and I love them like they're mine. I've

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invested in them. They're invested in me and God just has really blessed me with them.

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And anyways, as they've grown up, they've experienced a lot of trauma. They've experienced

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a lot of pain. They've experienced a lot of heartache with their parents. And even the

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brokenness that they experienced watching me with their dad, because it was really broken.

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And I did a lot of really good things in that time with them that I believe a lot of really

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healthy seeds are planted, which is why we're very close today. But one of the things I

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noticed about them, and this is why I'm bringing this up, is no matter the good that was sown

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during that time, it is still having an effect. So I'm not saying it wasn't worth it or it's

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not working out or any of those things. But one of the things that stands out to me still

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today, and it did when they were younger, is that they would have friends that we would

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take them to church and they would make friends there. And they would be like good friends,

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especially this one little girl in particular, the youngest of the two, Olivia. She had this

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little friend, Sydney. And Sydney was adopted, was in a really good home, sincerely loved

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the Lord, didn't hang out with kids that did bad things and all this stuff. But Olivia

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would gravitate towards the kids that were rougher, that had a harder life and all this.

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And both girls would kind of reject and push away Christian friends. I'm bringing this

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up because there are going to be times where God is sending people to us, that he's sending

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blessings our way. But because of the brokenness within ourselves, because our subconscious

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is telling us lies, because we believe lies when the enemy fed them to us and they get

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kind of down in there deep. And so even when we want to choose something good, our subconscious

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sometimes will lead us to choose something else and actually push good things away. So

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one of the things that Olivia ended up telling me one time when I asked her, you know, sweetheart,

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help me understand. You have this person that's wanting to be your friend, but you keep pushing

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her away, but you keep choosing this other friend. Like, I just want to understand, I'm

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not mad or anything like that. And, you know, she ended up telling me this other friend,

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she said, can understand what I've been through. And I, of course, logically can understand

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that. But basically Olivia was telling herself a lie that someone who hadn't experienced

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pain and terrible home life could never be someone she could connect with. That's kind

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of at the core. She believed that they just literally could find no common ground. And

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because of that, she literally put herself over with this other group of people where

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she will probably, if she continues those kinds of friendships, which she's doing a

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lot better now, but like if she had continued in that, would not walk into the fullness

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of what God has for her.

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her by any means. Okay, so why am I saying that? I'm saying

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that because some of us because of what we've been through, our

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subconscious, the counterfeit identities that we're living

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into, whether we realize it or not, are causing us to push

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away blessings and still do habitual things or choose people

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that aren't healthy for us. Okay. And so on that note, part

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of that is like experiences with submission that are not healthy

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that are not good. And we experience things that are

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actually not in alignment with heaven. They're not in alignment

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with the heart of the Father. But they're authoritarian,

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they're religious, they're, they push people down. And God

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tonight wants to kind of set the record straight a little bit.

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Okay. And so I use the story of my daughter, my daughter,

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because I believe God is in the process of setting some of the

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records straight in her life. And he's starting to show her

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that, you know, hey, these friends that just live these

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hard lives, like I have something better for you. And

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she's starting to choose a little bit better. And she's

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surrounding herself with healthier things. And, and she's

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talking about like things that God is showing her even about

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herself. And, and she's having these epiphanies and

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revelations, and she's starting to heal. And the more that she

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heals, the more if she will allow herself to, the more she

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will step into healthier places and spaces and be able to

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receive even the love that I have to give her. Because

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sometimes when when I go to visit, she said to me this last

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time, it's so hard when you leave that when you text me

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after I just can't respond. Yeah, no, it's hard. But but

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here's the thing. That's another lie, even though it is hard.

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It's hard for me too. It's hard when I don't get to see them

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every day right now. But she's believing a lie that we can't

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still have a very healthy fool relationship. Do y'all see how

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this works? So tonight, as I start to lead us into our topic,

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which is I don't know if y'all caught it, it's submission. Okay,

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that's what we're gonna talk about tonight. But as I'm doing

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this, I want you all to be thinking about different ways

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that your subconscious and the lies that you believe as a

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result of your wounds as a result of the trauma, not just

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about submission, but yes, about submission as well. But like

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every area of your life, where, hey, like just things have

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happened. And it's causing you to have this dialogue in your

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mind and in your soul and your spirit. That isn't true. And

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some of you are counting yourselves out before you even

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begin, including this course. Some people join the course and

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they will start to hear this internal dialogue. This isn't

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going to work. This isn't going to work. Why are you even doing

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this? Nothing's going to be different. That's the enemy

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trying to keep you from moving forward. Maybe that's not the

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lie you're hearing. Maybe it's something entirely different.

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But I just want you to be dialed into what is the enemy trying to

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convince you of that's not true. Mandy, she's 19 now. So

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she's getting a little bit older. So she's starting to

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understand a little bit more, you know, process. That's what

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happens when we get older. And when we have enough truth around

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us, you know, I tell them truth all the time, y'all. Every time

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I get an opportunity, truth and love, truth and love. And

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sometimes just love. Because guess what? Jesus is in me.

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Jesus is in you all. If you've accepted him as your Lord and

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Savior, he's in you. So you get around some people and you just

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love them. And they're going to experience Jesus. It is that

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easy. All right. So this is what I want you to also understand is

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who is God. God will not trespass in your life. He will

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not trespass in your heart. He will not trespass and force

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anything on you. And I know a lot of us are like, yeah, yeah, I

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know that. Yeah, I understand. But so many of us live from the

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place of fear that God's going to force something on us,

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including a spirit mate that we will literally not even be

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attracted to or, you know, want to be with or, you know, like,

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if I've got to surrender the pen, if I've got to trust God

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completely, well, what if he doesn't give me something I

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want? Let's think about that for a minute, ladies. I know it's

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funny when we talk about it like this, right? But legitimately, we

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hear this over and over and over again, we are afraid of

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God, and we're afraid of what he's going to give us. Why?

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Well, then, if that's true, then it actually reveals that we

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don't really believe that God is good. Or

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in addition to that, that he's going to be good to us.

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So where does that come from?

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So we're going to keep unpacking this a little bit more.

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Some of us believe that God is mean.

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Some of us believe that God does force us into things or

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push us or lead us into

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relationships that end up being horrible.

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I believed that God,

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in the beginning, years ago,

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that God led me into that relationship

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with my spiritual daughter's dad.

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I do not believe that anymore.

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I believe my counterfeit identity

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led me into that relationship.

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I was not living in the fullness of my value, my worth,

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who God called me to be.

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And I allowed myself to get entrapped

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in something that wasn't healthy.

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And then as God was warning me,

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he was literally saying,

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hey, he's not for you.

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He's not the one.

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I mean, he was telling me things the whole way.

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And I kept going

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because there was this glimmer of who I thought I saw

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in the first few weeks when I was dating him.

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And I kept trying to tell God,

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well, no, that's who he is.

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And God kept trying to tell me,

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no, like, trust me, trust me.

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I have better for you.

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And so here's God trying to help me

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the whole time I wasn't really willing to submit to him.

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I thought that I knew better.

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Isn't that crazy when,

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I mean, it's crazy to me when I say it out loud.

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I thought I knew better than the Lord.

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Now, again, it wasn't because I was outright

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trying to be rebellious.

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Y'all, I literally am not a rebellious person.

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I'm a rule follower.

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I don't like to break rules.

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At all.

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No, don't get me wrong.

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I had a little wild hair when I was younger

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and I would do funny things and be mischievous,

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but I was always worried about getting caught.

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So here's the situation where I'm like,

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I really just thought,

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I really thought that he was someone that he wasn't.

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And I was so convinced

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that I just kept trying to convince God

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that he was this other person.

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Really, genuinely, that's what I was doing.

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But God kept saying, no, like, hey,

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and he would give me dreams, literally, y'all.

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He would give me dreams and tell me

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the stuff that he was doing, this guy,

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and then I would find out that that was true.

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See, this is a good God.

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This is genuinely stuff that God does.

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He protects us.

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He tries to defend us.

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He was speaking to me in that still small voice

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in my spirit.

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He was meeting me in dreams.

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He was sending people to me, like, hey,

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like, you're not, this relationship,

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like, you're not the same.

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What's going on?

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Like, do you see all these things I'm trying to,

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but like in my mind, God sent him to me.

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And so I believe that, and that's what I kept going with.

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So I'm gonna circle back to the God doesn't trespass.

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What do I mean by that?

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So a lot of times in this heartwork course,

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I will talk about the do not enter signs.

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And what I mean by that is that there are times

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when there's certain areas of trauma or wounds

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or things that we go through where we erect

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do not enter signs on our hearts.

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And we're like, okay, God, you can come in this area,

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but not over here.

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No, like, I just can't go there.

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That person hurt me too bad.

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That's too sore.

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That whatever the reason is,

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and we're just saying, no, guess what?

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If that is what you say,

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God is not going to force himself on you.

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That is not who God is.

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God is a giver.

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He's a lover.

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And one of the most beautiful things he's given us

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is free will.

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He gives you the choice to choose in everything.

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Every single thing God is saying,

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hey, this is who I am.

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And he's coming and he's knocking on the door of your heart.

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And he's saying, hey, like, will you let me in?

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In a sense, that's what he's saying.

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Will you trust me?

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Will you follow me?

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Do you believe that I'm good?

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And here's the other thing, ladies,

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is God also respects our boundaries.

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Think about this.

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Some of you actually think God literally forces you

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to do things.

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No, mm-mm.

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That is religion that's convinced you

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that God is leading you to do things

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that are actually harmful for you or the enemy.

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It's one or the other.

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It's typically, you know, religion leading us

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into believing.

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that we have to perform or that, you know, we have to minimize ourselves and just suck it up because,

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hey, we might not find anybody better. Yes, religion, the spirit of religion does convey

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those things to us at times, doesn't it? Convincing us that we need to keep staying

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in a relationship that's not healthy, but so does the enemy. It's both ends.

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And so as you're walking tonight through this journey with me, I want you to understand that

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Jesus himself set boundaries. When he needed to go away and spend time with the Father, he did so.

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There are a bunch of other examples. I'm not going to go into them tonight, but

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if he set his own boundaries, why would he invade yours?

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Right? And again, this is all about, I'm trying to help you see that God is safe. God is loving.

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God is kind. He's faithful. He's gentle. And he's not going to push himself onto you. He's not

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going to force you to do anything. Now I'm going to start stepping more into the submission stuff.

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So we have, a lot of us gone through experiences where there are religious men and women, both,

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okay, who have weaponized the word of God and they've portrayed God and like through their

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thoughts and their messages in a way that is not accurate. It's not true, but because we maybe,

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and again, I don't know if y'all are like this, but way back when I first gave my life to Christ,

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man, I was like a sponge. Everything I heard, I believed it to be true. And I was reading the

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word of God and, and I feel like I was doing my best to rightly divide the word, but there was a

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lot of stuff. I didn't even know where to look for the truth of what someone was saying to me.

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And so if they were a preacher, I just believe like that, that's true. That's gotta be true.

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He's a preacher. And again, I'm not saying we shouldn't have some faith and trust in people.

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Okay. We should, but we should be studying the word of God and understand what it says for us.

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Okay. I'll expand on that in a minute there. But when we've been under these kind of teachings that

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misrepresent God, we put onto God things that are not true, especially if we've gone through

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something where man or woman has hurt us. And instead of us dealing with that, we project it

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onto God as if he's the one that did it to us. Okay. All right. We're going to keep going.

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So then what happens is when we hear the word submit, and that's kind of what I'm alluding to,

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when these teachings are being given, it's all, it's conveying the word submit incorrectly. Okay.

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The Holy Spirit is the one who can help all of us discern what is true about submission as well as

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anything else in the Bible. So from this day forward, I want to encourage you to

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as you're continuing to heal, that you would always be asking the Holy Spirit to reveal truth

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to you, to help you grow in wisdom and revelation and insight that you would read the word of God.

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Proverbs is amazing for wisdom, revelation, insight. So is James, that you would seek out

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wisdom. And that as you do that, you would also grow in your understanding of who God is and what

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it, like, what does it say about his character? And the more that you study that and lean into

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that, the more you're going to find that you serve a God who loves you, who's always been on your

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side, who's protected you even at times you didn't realize he was protecting you, who is excited to

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provide for you. I know that kind of blows people's mind too, because some of y'all think God's just

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been holding out on you, but he's excited to give you the blessing that he wants to give you.

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But some of us, if God gave us the blessing right now, it might actually destroy us, or we might

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mishandle the blessing and then it slip away. Kind of like what I was talking about earlier,

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when we have these subconscious things, we're putting up walls, we're pushing people away,

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and we're like, you know, hurting people or not responding and all these different things. But

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when we heal and God's preparing our hearts, guess what? We're making room. We're making room for the

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new stuff that God's going to send us, and that's a part of what we're doing tonight as well.

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So I want you to be thinking about just experiences that you've had with submission,

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hearing the word submit. Were those good feelings? Were those not good feelings? Like,

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have you had experiences that like have caused you to not feel good about submission?

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As we keep going, Colossians 3.21 says this,

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Fathers, do not embitter your children or they will become discouraged. King James Version, same.

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Scripture says this,

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fathers provoke not your children to anger

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lest they be discouraged.

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Provoke here means to stir up, excite, stimulate,

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especially to anger or provoke.

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Lest they be discouraged,

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they be discouraged means to be disheartened,

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be dispirited, broken in spirit, be dismayed.

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To actually provoke someone means to call it forth,

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a feeling, an emotion in someone, an action,

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to purposely stir someone up and to incite to anger,

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to arouse a feeling or action.

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Why am I talking about this?

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I wonder if you're wondering.

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Well, here I'm gonna tell you.

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I'm talking about this,

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yes, for some of you biological dads,

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that's kind of happened.

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But I also wanna point out

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that anyone in authority over you

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of any kind of fatherly or motherly role

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who's mishandled their authority,

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even an ex-husband or a boyfriend,

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you didn't have to be married

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to have someone try to put you under their thumb

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or mishandle authority and try to teach you

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that submission is something that it is not.

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That's like, I want you to be thinking about

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some of these things that people have said and done

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that have harmed you

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and actually caused you to be embittered,

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to be incited to anger.

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They've stirred this stuff up in you that's not healthy.

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And obviously in this scripture,

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it is talking about all the types of fathers, okay?

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But with that, again, God is not like that.

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So to grow in our understanding of God's character is key.

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Who is God?

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As love, kind, faithful, good, peace,

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that's how the Bible describes him.

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If you think of the opposite, what's the opposite of love?

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And somebody put that in the chat for me.

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What's the opposite of love?

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I wanna see what y'all think.

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Hey, that's right.

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Okay, so let's think about this.

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If God isn't who he says he is, it says he's love.

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If he's not who he says he is,

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can you imagine God hating you?

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No.

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Like literally we can simplify it.

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When the enemy comes in and tries to attack us

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and tell us that God doesn't love us

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and he doesn't have plans and promises to prosper us

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and he doesn't have anything good for us,

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because see, that would mean like he didn't like us.

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And then he's just out to trick us and deceive us,

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but no, he's love.

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He is full of love.

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And so all literally we need to do is just tell the enemy,

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no, God the father loves me.

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He's a giver.

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He gives me good things.

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I'm his daughter.

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I'm an heir of the kingdom.

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And literally it can cause him to flee, the enemy.

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Okay, I'm gonna keep going.

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The word submission means to yield to the power of another,

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yield to let go in the process and learn how to trust God.

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Being willing to submit to absolute and greater truth

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than what has happened in the past

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or what is happening now.

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Helen, yes, God in his discipline,

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that's an, I mean, yes, he disciplines us,

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but think about a parent.

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Have y'all, I don't know how many,

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how many parents do I have here in the room tonight?

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How many, how many, lots of hands on that?

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All right, when you discipline your child,

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do you do it because you don't like them

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or you're just wanna punish them

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or do you do it because you love them?

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Well, I know when I discipline my girls or my stepson

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or they had consequences for things

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that they were choosing that weren't healthy,

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it was because I love them.

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I don't want them to keep choosing things

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that aren't good for them.

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So we create guardrails and we create,

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hey, these, as a parent, you talk to your kids

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and you're trying to help them educate them

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and understand what is like,

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what's real, what's true

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so that they can choose better next time.

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Yes, discipline is different than punishment,

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absolutely, 100%, but God is also,

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he brings conviction, not condemnation,

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is also what comes to mind for me.

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I know that's different than what you're asking me there,

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but I want y'all to understand,

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the enemy brings condemnation and God brings conviction.

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Conviction comes to help us lead us into repentance.

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Does anyone know what scripture says

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about God regarding repentance and how we get led there?

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through his what?

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Kindness.

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Yes, his loving kindnesses.

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Isn't that interesting?

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Think about that as well as we're talking about this.

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If God draws us and leads us to repentance through his loving kindnesses,

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while he is, yes, correcting us, redirecting us,

456
00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:29.000
trying to get us onto the path that leads to life,

457
00:30:29.000 --> 00:30:36.000
it's all rooted in his love for us.

458
00:30:36.000 --> 00:30:38.000
Okay, I'm going to keep going.

459
00:30:38.000 --> 00:30:40.000
Great questions.

460
00:30:40.000 --> 00:30:41.000
All right.

461
00:30:41.000 --> 00:30:44.000
When we know the one we are submitting to and we trust them,

462
00:30:44.000 --> 00:30:50.000
it can help us to choose to submit to them.

463
00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:56.000
When you really know someone and you know that you can trust them,

464
00:30:56.000 --> 00:31:00.000
it can help you then choose to submit to them.

465
00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:04.000
So first and foremost, who am I asking you to submit to tonight?

466
00:31:04.000 --> 00:31:06.000
Well, God first.

467
00:31:06.000 --> 00:31:08.000
That's what I'm talking about tonight.

468
00:31:08.000 --> 00:31:12.000
That in the days ahead, ladies, that you would choose to supernaturally surrender.

469
00:31:12.000 --> 00:31:15.000
Again, this isn't something you can just do on your own.

470
00:31:15.000 --> 00:31:17.000
We can't do this in our flesh.

471
00:31:17.000 --> 00:31:20.000
We need the grace of God, the revelation of heaven,

472
00:31:21.000 --> 00:31:27.000
the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to choose to submit daily.

473
00:31:27.000 --> 00:31:30.000
Daily submitting and surrendering the pen to the Lord

474
00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:37.000
and trusting that he is a good father and he wants to lead us into good things.

475
00:31:37.000 --> 00:31:42.000
Submission is not about someone dominating us, controlling us,

476
00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:46.000
manipulating us, putting us under their thumb.

477
00:31:46.000 --> 00:31:50.000
I know people have this fear that if I actually step into a relationship,

478
00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:54.000
even people that want relationship and want to get married,

479
00:31:54.000 --> 00:31:59.000
they're afraid to step into it because they're afraid they're going to be a doormat to someone.

480
00:31:59.000 --> 00:32:01.000
Well, if that's something that you fear,

481
00:32:01.000 --> 00:32:06.000
that's showing you something right there that needs healing.

482
00:32:07.000 --> 00:32:15.000
A healthy man who is full of the spirit and walks in the fruits of the spirit

483
00:32:15.000 --> 00:32:18.000
is not going to make you his doormat.

484
00:32:18.000 --> 00:32:23.000
If you've experienced situations like that in the past,

485
00:32:23.000 --> 00:32:27.000
I would encourage you to lean into that for healing with the Lord

486
00:32:27.000 --> 00:32:33.000
so that you don't carry that baggage and mindset into a healthy relationship.

487
00:32:34.000 --> 00:32:35.000
All right.

488
00:32:35.000 --> 00:32:39.000
Submission is not about someone dominating us, controlling us, manipulating us,

489
00:32:39.000 --> 00:32:44.000
putting us under their thumb, oppressing us, pushing us down.

490
00:32:44.000 --> 00:32:46.000
This is what submission is.

491
00:32:46.000 --> 00:32:49.000
I want you to think about it as a mutual respect.

492
00:32:49.000 --> 00:32:54.000
You've got person one who hopefully is healthy.

493
00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:56.000
Person number two who's healthy.

494
00:32:56.000 --> 00:32:59.000
In this example, both healthy people.

495
00:32:59.000 --> 00:33:01.000
Perfect? No.

496
00:33:01.000 --> 00:33:03.000
Healthy? Yes.

497
00:33:03.000 --> 00:33:04.000
Okay.

498
00:33:04.000 --> 00:33:07.000
And what they're doing is they're mutually both people.

499
00:33:07.000 --> 00:33:08.000
Look at this.

500
00:33:08.000 --> 00:33:10.000
Even Stephen here.

501
00:33:10.000 --> 00:33:15.000
They're both choosing to submit to one another through what?

502
00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:19.000
Honor, respect, and surrender.

503
00:33:19.000 --> 00:33:22.000
That's what submission is.

504
00:33:22.000 --> 00:33:24.000
So it's the same way with the Lord.

505
00:33:24.000 --> 00:33:25.000
We're choosing to submit.

506
00:33:25.000 --> 00:33:27.000
We're choosing to respect the Lord.

507
00:33:27.000 --> 00:33:30.000
We're choosing to honor him and surrender.

508
00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:32.000
In a healthy relationship,

509
00:33:32.000 --> 00:33:34.000
when you've got someone healthy that you're in that relationship with,

510
00:33:34.000 --> 00:33:38.000
you do that out of love, ladies.

511
00:33:38.000 --> 00:33:41.000
Not someone lording something over you.

512
00:33:41.000 --> 00:33:43.000
Okay?

513
00:33:43.000 --> 00:33:45.000
Revelation 3.20 says,

514
00:33:45.000 --> 00:33:47.000
Behold, I stand at the door and knock.

515
00:33:47.000 --> 00:33:51.000
If anyone hears my voice and opens the door,

516
00:33:51.000 --> 00:33:58.000
I will come into him and eat with him and he with me.

517
00:33:59.000 --> 00:34:02.000
That's the scripture that I was referring to earlier.

518
00:34:02.000 --> 00:34:05.000
Helen, this relates to the church because sometimes in church,

519
00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:09.000
people that are not healthy and in churches,

520
00:34:09.000 --> 00:34:12.000
as well as in secular worlds,

521
00:34:12.000 --> 00:34:16.000
lord authority over other people and they oppress people and they,

522
00:34:16.000 --> 00:34:20.000
they use the word of God and they tell people to submit to things that

523
00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:22.000
are not true.

524
00:34:22.000 --> 00:34:25.000
And I could give a lot of examples,

525
00:34:25.000 --> 00:34:27.000
but then we'd be here a real long time tonight.

526
00:34:27.000 --> 00:34:29.000
So I'm kind of generalizing some things,

527
00:34:29.000 --> 00:34:32.000
but that's how it relates to the church. So for example,

528
00:34:32.000 --> 00:34:37.000
one thing that I'll bring up is when I was going through my divorce and I

529
00:34:37.000 --> 00:34:39.000
wasn't even going through the divorce yet.

530
00:34:39.000 --> 00:34:43.000
This was before and I just needed help because it was, it was abusive.

531
00:34:43.000 --> 00:34:45.000
There was a lot of stuff going on.

532
00:34:45.000 --> 00:34:50.000
And I like just to kind of put this out there as I'm telling this story,

533
00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:54.000
I didn't talk bad about my husband in church.

534
00:34:54.000 --> 00:34:56.000
Like I wasn't one of those people. Okay.

535
00:34:58.000 --> 00:35:00.000
But it was really bad.

536
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.680
And I really needed help at the point we were at.

537
00:35:03.680 --> 00:35:06.520
And I was at this practice for this play for church.

538
00:35:06.520 --> 00:35:13.040
And I was standing there with my pastor's wife.

539
00:35:13.040 --> 00:35:16.960
And I told her something that was going on,

540
00:35:16.960 --> 00:35:20.720
because I really needed help, y'all.

541
00:35:20.720 --> 00:35:22.360
And y'all, I got scolded for that.

542
00:35:26.320 --> 00:35:27.200
I love her.

543
00:35:27.200 --> 00:35:29.520
I've forgiven her.

544
00:35:29.520 --> 00:35:31.880
But I got in trouble for that, because I

545
00:35:31.880 --> 00:35:36.520
was talking about my husband in front of other people.

546
00:35:36.520 --> 00:35:39.360
And then was like, after that, kind of

547
00:35:39.360 --> 00:35:46.840
taught what was appropriate behavior for a wife, OK?

548
00:35:46.840 --> 00:35:49.960
All right, so those are the kind of things I'm talking about.

549
00:35:49.960 --> 00:35:53.120
That was an abuse of her authority.

550
00:35:53.120 --> 00:35:55.160
And she was reprimanding me for something

551
00:35:55.160 --> 00:35:58.520
that I didn't need to be reprimanded for.

552
00:35:58.520 --> 00:36:00.800
I needed help, yeah.

553
00:36:00.800 --> 00:36:03.240
So we can understand.

554
00:36:03.240 --> 00:36:05.320
Now, that's a very, actually a very,

555
00:36:05.320 --> 00:36:07.080
even though it's very hard for me,

556
00:36:07.080 --> 00:36:08.680
that's a very small example.

557
00:36:08.680 --> 00:36:11.560
There's a lot of other, like, from the pulpit things

558
00:36:11.560 --> 00:36:13.800
that pastors and preachers have said.

559
00:36:13.800 --> 00:36:15.880
And again, there's a lot of really good pastors

560
00:36:15.880 --> 00:36:16.760
and preachers.

561
00:36:16.760 --> 00:36:19.080
Y'all, I'm married to one, OK?

562
00:36:19.080 --> 00:36:21.600
I love me some pastors and some ministers and preachers.

563
00:36:21.600 --> 00:36:24.600
So I'm not hating on pastors and leaders, OK?

564
00:36:24.600 --> 00:36:28.520
But it's just something we need to talk about it.

565
00:36:28.520 --> 00:36:32.240
Because there's a lot of people that have gone through that,

566
00:36:32.240 --> 00:36:35.160
and they don't know how to get help for what's happened.

567
00:36:35.160 --> 00:36:40.240
And it's hurting them in their relationships today, OK?

568
00:36:40.240 --> 00:36:43.080
All right, I have one more scripture for you.

569
00:36:46.480 --> 00:36:48.920
Oh, I was going to say, kind of circle back to,

570
00:36:48.920 --> 00:36:51.200
in the heart healing process, just

571
00:36:51.200 --> 00:36:54.880
remember, as I'm kind of trying to tie everything back

572
00:36:54.880 --> 00:36:57.800
into that tonight, we want to encourage you to yield to God,

573
00:36:57.800 --> 00:36:58.320
OK?

574
00:36:58.320 --> 00:37:02.000
So that's who you're yielding to in the heart work process.

575
00:37:02.000 --> 00:37:04.120
Remember, he's not going to force his way on you.

576
00:37:04.120 --> 00:37:06.520
He's standing at the door of your heart, and he's knocking,

577
00:37:06.520 --> 00:37:09.200
and he's asking for permission to enter in.

578
00:37:09.200 --> 00:37:13.840
And he's giving you the choice to surrender and submit.

579
00:37:13.840 --> 00:37:17.680
Two more scriptures, Job 22, 21, and the NLT version

580
00:37:17.680 --> 00:37:22.080
says this, submit to God, and you will have peace.

581
00:37:22.080 --> 00:37:25.800
Then things will go well with you.

582
00:37:25.800 --> 00:37:27.040
Read that again.

583
00:37:27.040 --> 00:37:30.360
Submit to God, and you will have peace.

584
00:37:30.360 --> 00:37:32.440
Then things will go well with you.

585
00:37:32.440 --> 00:37:35.000
Peace here in Hebrews actually means

586
00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:40.280
to be in a covenant of peace, to complete, to finish,

587
00:37:40.280 --> 00:37:43.200
to make whole, or good, to restore.

588
00:37:43.200 --> 00:37:47.240
God is literally saying, if we submit to him,

589
00:37:47.240 --> 00:37:51.760
we will literally be in a covenant of peace,

590
00:37:51.760 --> 00:37:54.640
and he'll make things good for us.

591
00:37:54.640 --> 00:37:56.760
Proverbs 3, 5 in the message version

592
00:37:56.760 --> 00:37:59.680
says this, trust God from the bottom of your heart.

593
00:37:59.680 --> 00:38:02.920
Don't try to figure out everything on your own.

594
00:38:02.920 --> 00:38:04.880
Listen for God's voice in everything you do.

595
00:38:04.880 --> 00:38:08.960
Everywhere you go, he's the one who will keep you on track.

596
00:38:08.960 --> 00:38:11.400
Don't assume that you know it all.

597
00:38:11.400 --> 00:38:14.080
So it's that daily, remember, he's the vine,

598
00:38:14.080 --> 00:38:15.320
we're the branches.

599
00:38:15.320 --> 00:38:17.600
Apart from him, we can't do anything.

600
00:38:17.600 --> 00:38:21.440
We need his help to light that lamp onto our feet

601
00:38:21.440 --> 00:38:24.320
and that light onto our path, that voice behind us

602
00:38:24.320 --> 00:38:26.040
telling us the way to go.

603
00:38:26.040 --> 00:38:27.440
These are all scriptures that I'm

604
00:38:27.440 --> 00:38:31.000
talking to you about right now.

605
00:38:31.000 --> 00:38:35.880
That daily, Lord, OK, help me to know where to go today, Lord.

606
00:38:35.880 --> 00:38:38.920
That communion with him and that growing in your relationship

607
00:38:38.920 --> 00:38:42.640
with him, and that you would listen to that even

608
00:38:42.640 --> 00:38:44.600
in relationship in the days to come.

609
00:38:44.600 --> 00:38:46.480
All right, I'm going to get you ready for your breakout

610
00:38:46.480 --> 00:38:46.800
session.

611
00:38:46.800 --> 00:38:49.080
I want to tell you a little bit about the activations

612
00:38:49.080 --> 00:38:50.960
for this week just in case, because I almost

613
00:38:50.960 --> 00:38:52.320
forgot again this afternoon.

614
00:38:52.320 --> 00:38:55.280
So two activations this week.

615
00:38:55.280 --> 00:38:57.320
You guys have the submission activation,

616
00:38:57.320 --> 00:39:00.520
which is that when you first joined the program,

617
00:39:00.520 --> 00:39:02.240
you signed that permission slip where

618
00:39:02.240 --> 00:39:04.000
you're giving God permission.

619
00:39:04.000 --> 00:39:06.200
I'm going to read it over you here in a little bit.

620
00:39:06.200 --> 00:39:09.640
I want to encourage you all to print that out and put that up

621
00:39:09.640 --> 00:39:12.840
somewhere you see it every day, and that you would pray

622
00:39:12.840 --> 00:39:15.680
that over yourself every day.

623
00:39:15.680 --> 00:39:17.360
You don't have to be religious about it,

624
00:39:17.360 --> 00:39:19.160
but just if you miss a day, don't feel guilt

625
00:39:19.160 --> 00:39:20.320
or any of that kind of stuff.

626
00:39:20.320 --> 00:39:22.160
But just the point is that you're

627
00:39:22.160 --> 00:39:25.880
that constant partnering with that submission and surrender.

628
00:39:25.880 --> 00:39:27.040
That's number one.

629
00:39:27.040 --> 00:39:31.240
Number two, I have this roots and trees activation

630
00:39:31.240 --> 00:39:33.400
that I would love for you all to do.

631
00:39:33.400 --> 00:39:36.160
I'm going to, I'll show you in a little bit

632
00:39:36.160 --> 00:39:39.640
when you come back from breakout what that looks like.

633
00:39:39.640 --> 00:39:42.160
But basically, roots and fruits.

634
00:39:42.160 --> 00:39:46.080
We all have fruits in our lives that we're displaying right now.

635
00:39:46.080 --> 00:39:47.920
Some of the fruit is good.

636
00:39:47.920 --> 00:39:51.160
Some of the fruit, well, I prefer to say healthy, unhealthy.

637
00:39:51.160 --> 00:39:52.200
That's my preference.

638
00:39:52.200 --> 00:39:55.200
But it all goes down to the roots.

639
00:39:55.200 --> 00:39:57.560
So whatever fruits we're displaying

640
00:39:57.560 --> 00:39:59.040
are connected to a root.

641
00:39:59.040 --> 00:40:01.320
So what's the root?

642
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:07.560
root system that's going on in your life right now for good, for healthy, or for unhealthy?

643
00:40:07.560 --> 00:40:10.460
And what kind of fruit is that then creating in your life?

644
00:40:10.460 --> 00:40:19.360
So for example, if you are constantly struggling with fear, what's the root?

645
00:40:19.360 --> 00:40:20.520
What is that rooted in?

646
00:40:20.520 --> 00:40:26.980
Is that rooted in, you know, a trauma from when you were younger when you got scared?

647
00:40:26.980 --> 00:40:29.100
It could be something simple like that.

648
00:40:29.100 --> 00:40:31.940
Or it could be a big scare, you know.

649
00:40:31.940 --> 00:40:37.960
Are you struggling with pornography, lust, you know, having sexual relationship outside

650
00:40:37.960 --> 00:40:38.960
of marriage?

651
00:40:38.960 --> 00:40:42.420
If so, what is that rooted in?

652
00:40:42.420 --> 00:40:46.080
Where you're literally, and hey, ladies, I want to remind you, you don't have to figure

653
00:40:46.080 --> 00:40:47.700
this all out on your own.

654
00:40:47.700 --> 00:40:51.500
Remember, you're going to ask the Holy Spirit.

655
00:40:51.500 --> 00:40:55.020
Everything that we do in this community, we want you to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal

656
00:40:55.020 --> 00:41:02.780
these areas for healing, to show you roots and fruits, yeah, yeah, for revealing for

657
00:41:02.780 --> 00:41:05.820
healing so that he can help you kind of as you go.

658
00:41:05.820 --> 00:41:07.660
And you can always add to the tree later on.

659
00:41:07.660 --> 00:41:13.980
But when you come back, I will show you what some examples of some things other people

660
00:41:13.980 --> 00:41:14.980
have done.

661
00:41:14.980 --> 00:41:17.580
And just to inspire you, you can do your own version.

662
00:41:17.580 --> 00:41:19.220
It doesn't have to look like anybody else's.

663
00:41:19.220 --> 00:41:21.840
But I did want to tell you, those are the two activations.

664
00:41:21.840 --> 00:41:24.380
I am going to put them up in the group like I did last week.

665
00:41:24.740 --> 00:41:26.500
So if you come into the group, you'll see the post there.

666
00:41:26.500 --> 00:41:28.540
It'll explain it again for you.

667
00:41:28.540 --> 00:41:31.420
And hopefully that's helpful for you all.

668
00:41:31.420 --> 00:41:34.700
But all right, we're going to get ready for this breakout session.

669
00:41:34.700 --> 00:41:40.340
Here's your question for the breakout.

670
00:41:40.340 --> 00:41:44.900
Do you struggle with submission and why?

671
00:41:44.900 --> 00:41:48.260
And if you don't struggle with submission, it's totally fine, ladies.

672
00:41:48.260 --> 00:41:52.900
You can say, hey, I really don't struggle with submission, but also be very open because

673
00:41:52.900 --> 00:41:57.300
you just never know what the Holy Spirit might highlight for you, okay?

674
00:41:57.300 --> 00:42:02.900
So one of the things I was saying this afternoon that came to mind when I said that to the

675
00:42:02.900 --> 00:42:09.180
ladies was, I've had a lot of people that have had experiences with teachers.

676
00:42:09.180 --> 00:42:12.860
And you might not think of that as an authority figure that mishandled their authority in

677
00:42:12.860 --> 00:42:17.800
some way, but that does happen very often and it wounds a lot of people.

678
00:42:17.800 --> 00:42:22.660
And so there's different types of authority figures that where we just didn't feel safe

679
00:42:23.420 --> 00:42:26.460
with them or they did something that was hurtful or harmful.

680
00:42:26.460 --> 00:42:29.700
And God wants to heal you of those things tonight, okay?

681
00:42:29.700 --> 00:42:33.540
All right, before we go in, I'm going to read this submission activation over you.

682
00:42:33.540 --> 00:42:36.660
And I always try to encourage you all, you don't have to if you don't want to, but I

683
00:42:36.660 --> 00:42:41.420
do try to encourage you to close your eyes and just let this kind of like wash over you

684
00:42:41.420 --> 00:42:44.140
to prepare you to go in for this breakout session.

685
00:42:44.140 --> 00:42:46.100
Okay, here we go.

686
00:42:46.100 --> 00:42:51.660
Father God, I give you permission to search me and to reveal anything in my heart that

687
00:42:51.660 --> 00:42:55.060
does not belong to my true identity.

688
00:42:55.060 --> 00:42:59.660
And that is hindering me from living the life you created me to live.

689
00:42:59.660 --> 00:43:03.980
Holy Spirit, I invite you into the darkest places in my heart.

690
00:43:03.980 --> 00:43:07.580
Show me the areas that are still wounded and are still hurting.

691
00:43:07.580 --> 00:43:12.260
When you reveal these broken places to me, I covenant with you to release them into your

692
00:43:12.260 --> 00:43:15.820
care and to respond with forgiveness and repentance.

693
00:43:15.820 --> 00:43:21.500
I set aside the season of my life for a time of healing and wholeness and ask Holy Spirit

694
00:43:21.500 --> 00:43:24.060
to take charge of this process.

695
00:43:24.060 --> 00:43:26.780
I ask that you dwell with me and in me.

696
00:43:26.780 --> 00:43:28.740
I need you.

697
00:43:28.740 --> 00:43:30.700
I cannot heal myself.

698
00:43:30.700 --> 00:43:35.620
I want to be free from the past, free to be who I truly am.

699
00:43:35.620 --> 00:43:38.560
Help me to become who you created me to be.

700
00:43:38.560 --> 00:43:44.660
Show me the lies I've believed about myself, my life, my surroundings, even the lies I've

701
00:43:44.660 --> 00:43:46.940
believed about you, God.

702
00:43:46.940 --> 00:43:48.940
Teach me the greater truth.

703
00:43:48.940 --> 00:43:50.380
Teach me your ways.

704
00:43:50.380 --> 00:43:54.420
Teach me how to think and how to live abundantly.

705
00:43:54.420 --> 00:43:55.420
Teach me.

706
00:43:55.420 --> 00:43:56.420
Show me.

707
00:43:56.420 --> 00:43:57.420
Heal me.

708
00:43:57.420 --> 00:43:58.420
Grow me.

709
00:43:58.420 --> 00:43:59.420
In Jesus name.

710
00:43:59.420 --> 00:44:00.420
Amen.

711
00:44:00.420 --> 00:44:01.420
Amen.

712
00:44:01.420 --> 00:44:02.420
Amen.

713
00:44:02.420 --> 00:44:03.420
All right.

714
00:44:03.420 --> 00:44:07.700
Let me get these breakout sessions ready for you.

715
00:44:07.700 --> 00:44:11.940
For our new ladies, the breakout session, the little thing will pop up on your screen

716
00:44:11.940 --> 00:44:12.940
here in just a moment.

717
00:44:12.940 --> 00:44:15.140
I'll tell you when.

718
00:44:15.140 --> 00:44:18.340
And when that does, you just click to join it.

719
00:44:18.340 --> 00:44:20.940
If you get into a room and you're sitting there by yourself, don't panic.

720
00:44:20.940 --> 00:44:22.700
I am going to try to move you around.

721
00:44:22.700 --> 00:44:26.260
But I will say, if anyone gets into a room and you're sitting there for a while and it

722
00:44:26.260 --> 00:44:30.340
looks like there's another person there, but they're not responding, it could be an internet

723
00:44:30.340 --> 00:44:32.580
connection issue or anything else.

724
00:44:32.580 --> 00:44:35.460
Sometimes people have an issue getting their sound to work.

725
00:44:35.460 --> 00:44:38.580
Just come back to the main room and I can get you reset.

726
00:44:38.580 --> 00:44:43.020
Just because I don't want someone sitting the whole time in a room by themselves, okay?

727
00:44:43.020 --> 00:44:44.220
Everyone good on that?

728
00:44:44.300 --> 00:44:45.300
All right.

729
00:44:45.300 --> 00:44:48.340
Let me have you set for eight minutes here.

730
00:44:48.340 --> 00:44:49.860
Go ahead and click to join those.

731
00:44:49.860 --> 00:44:54.540
That's popping up for you there.

732
00:44:54.540 --> 00:44:58.260
And I'll be praying for y'all while you're in there.

733
00:44:58.260 --> 00:44:59.860
Once I get everyone situated.

734
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:24.000
Rosie, are you able to go in tonight, just so I know?

735
00:45:24.000 --> 00:45:42.000
Sorry, it's taking me a little longer than normal, ladies.

736
00:45:42.000 --> 00:45:45.000
I have people popping around here.

737
00:45:45.000 --> 00:45:50.000
All right, Anna, I just moved you.

738
00:45:50.000 --> 00:45:53.000
Did you see that thing pop up for you?

739
00:45:53.000 --> 00:45:55.000
I didn't get anything, no.

740
00:45:55.000 --> 00:45:58.000
All right, let me just move you again. It's totally fine.

741
00:45:58.000 --> 00:46:01.000
Thanks.

742
00:46:01.000 --> 00:46:03.000
All right.

743
00:46:03.000 --> 00:46:26.000
Somebody else sitting here by themselves.

744
00:46:26.000 --> 00:46:29.000
I got to move a bunch of people around tonight, ladies.

745
00:46:29.000 --> 00:46:31.000
Did you get that? It should have popped up for you there.

746
00:46:31.000 --> 00:46:35.000
I sent you another one.

747
00:46:35.000 --> 00:46:47.000
Tap on the bottom of your screen and see if you see where it says breakout session.

748
00:46:47.000 --> 00:46:55.000
I put you in, after I asked you that the last time, I put you in room 14.

749
00:46:55.000 --> 00:47:01.000
Let me try again. Let's see if it'll pop up on your screen this time.

750
00:47:01.000 --> 00:47:03.000
Do you see it there?

751
00:47:03.000 --> 00:47:10.000
No, and that's weird because before it was showing.

752
00:47:10.000 --> 00:47:16.000
If you go out, I hate to make you do this, but if you go out and come right back in, it might let me put you in.

753
00:47:16.000 --> 00:47:18.000
I don't know what's going on.

754
00:47:18.000 --> 00:47:19.000
I'll try that.

755
00:47:19.000 --> 00:47:21.000
All right, thanks.

756
00:47:22.000 --> 00:47:29.000
I think I have everyone situated father. Thank you so much for your amazing grace. God, we thank you for healing.

757
00:47:29.000 --> 00:47:36.000
We thank you for redemption and restitution and every area of our lives. We thank you, God, that.

758
00:47:36.000 --> 00:47:38.000
Hi, Anna. Welcome back.

759
00:47:38.000 --> 00:47:41.000
Let's see if we can get just situated here.

760
00:47:41.000 --> 00:47:45.000
Okay, I just popped you into room 14. Let me know if that.

761
00:47:45.000 --> 00:47:47.000
There we go. Awesome.

762
00:47:47.000 --> 00:47:54.000
Thank you for even just tech issues for working it all out. God, we thank you that you work in all things.

763
00:47:54.000 --> 00:47:59.000
Okay, let's see.

764
00:47:59.000 --> 00:48:12.000
Oh, that's okay. I think I see you. I don't I had a couple people with iPhone title of my eyes twitching. Sorry.

765
00:48:12.000 --> 00:48:20.000
I think this is you. Let me just bump you into this other room to something pop up there for you to join.

766
00:48:20.000 --> 00:48:23.000
You're welcome. Ashley, did you get bumped out.

767
00:48:23.000 --> 00:48:37.000
I couldn't get my phone to connect to the audio so I was in with Susan, if you know where she is.

768
00:48:37.000 --> 00:48:44.000
Make sure Susan's not by herself.

769
00:48:44.000 --> 00:48:49.000
I don't see Susan. Let me just get you in a room so that you have time to interact with the ladies. Okay.

770
00:48:49.000 --> 00:48:56.000
Yeah. All right. There you go. Thank you.

771
00:48:56.000 --> 00:49:05.000
All right. So where we just thank you for continuing to work in every lady's lives. We thank you for just ministering.

772
00:49:05.000 --> 00:49:09.000
I just hear the word, the sweetness of your spirit to the ladies tonight.

773
00:49:09.000 --> 00:49:15.000
I thank you that your presence is like, like a sweet aroma and a fragrance.

774
00:49:15.000 --> 00:49:23.000
And Lord, I thank you that you'll help them to come out of alignment with the lies that you're not safe, that you're not good,

775
00:49:23.000 --> 00:49:32.000
but that you would literally even just give some of them a picture and a visual of being in a garden with you, a safe place,

776
00:49:32.000 --> 00:49:36.000
something that's beautiful. It's full of life. It's full of hope.

777
00:49:36.000 --> 00:49:41.000
And Lord, that as we surrender and submit our lives to you, that you,

778
00:49:41.000 --> 00:49:50.000
you want to lead us into wide open spaces and you want to help us to experience the fullness of your glory and so many ways.

779
00:49:50.000 --> 00:49:55.000
And Lord, we just thank you for revelation and transformation,

780
00:49:55.000 --> 00:50:00.000
that you are transforming us by the renewing of our minds, that all things have passed away.

781
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.080
And behold, everything is becoming new.

782
00:50:03.080 --> 00:50:05.320
And so Lord, I thank you that you would just,

783
00:50:06.400 --> 00:50:08.480
yeah, that you would just help us to hear God,

784
00:50:08.480 --> 00:50:10.440
your truth, that we would know your truth

785
00:50:10.440 --> 00:50:11.760
and that it would set us free.

786
00:50:11.760 --> 00:50:16.120
We thank you for helping us to have freedom

787
00:50:16.120 --> 00:50:19.760
and revelation and insight and supernatural ways.

788
00:50:19.760 --> 00:50:24.140
We thank you Lord for helping us to experience

789
00:50:24.140 --> 00:50:27.160
your joy unspeakable and full of glory, God,

790
00:50:27.160 --> 00:50:29.700
that we would know that we can experience

791
00:50:29.700 --> 00:50:31.940
the goodness of God in the land of the living.

792
00:50:31.940 --> 00:50:34.240
We don't have to wait until we get to heaven one day

793
00:50:34.240 --> 00:50:35.100
to experience that.

794
00:50:35.100 --> 00:50:40.100
We thank you, God, that you breathe the life into us,

795
00:50:41.540 --> 00:50:44.100
almost like fresh breath into our nostrils,

796
00:50:44.100 --> 00:50:46.200
into our spirit, into our soul, God,

797
00:50:46.200 --> 00:50:49.740
that we can breathe you in and we can, yeah, Lord,

798
00:50:49.740 --> 00:50:52.380
just experience the power of your presence,

799
00:50:52.380 --> 00:50:55.180
but the renewal of your spirit flowing into us,

800
00:50:55.180 --> 00:50:58.140
that you would be like that river that's flowing

801
00:50:58.140 --> 00:51:02.660
of living waters, not death, not destruction, not pain,

802
00:51:02.660 --> 00:51:05.340
but Lord, you have a purpose and a plan to prosper us,

803
00:51:05.340 --> 00:51:07.780
to give us a hope, to give us a future.

804
00:51:07.780 --> 00:51:11.300
Lord, if there's any area where we're still believing lies

805
00:51:11.300 --> 00:51:15.140
or limiting belief systems that are holding us back,

806
00:51:15.140 --> 00:51:17.660
Lord, I pray that you would just continue to reveal

807
00:51:17.660 --> 00:51:19.300
those supernaturally to us,

808
00:51:19.300 --> 00:51:22.620
that you would help us to see these little sneaky areas

809
00:51:22.620 --> 00:51:26.200
and crevices that the enemy is still kind of hiding in,

810
00:51:26.200 --> 00:51:28.560
if you will, in our spirit and soul,

811
00:51:28.560 --> 00:51:30.240
which is leading us away from you.

812
00:51:30.240 --> 00:51:34.240
We thank you, God, that as you reveal these areas to us,

813
00:51:34.240 --> 00:51:35.760
that we wouldn't be overwhelmed,

814
00:51:35.760 --> 00:51:36.960
that we wouldn't be afraid,

815
00:51:36.960 --> 00:51:39.080
but God, we would be able to turn to you

816
00:51:39.080 --> 00:51:41.120
and know that you're the great physician.

817
00:51:41.120 --> 00:51:42.400
Nothing's too hard for you.

818
00:51:42.400 --> 00:51:43.760
We're not too big of a mess.

819
00:51:43.760 --> 00:51:46.120
God, we thank you for physical healing,

820
00:51:46.120 --> 00:51:48.160
emotional healing, mental healing,

821
00:51:49.400 --> 00:51:51.560
financial healing and spiritual healing.

822
00:51:51.560 --> 00:51:53.800
God, we thank you that you had placed the balm of Gilead

823
00:51:53.800 --> 00:51:56.800
upon every wound, upon every broken spot,

824
00:51:56.800 --> 00:52:01.800
even every wound that has come through unhealthy teachings

825
00:52:02.960 --> 00:52:06.500
about submission or people that have said things

826
00:52:06.500 --> 00:52:09.200
that are harmful to us, that are people in authority.

827
00:52:09.200 --> 00:52:12.240
We thank you, God, for just, yes, Lord,

828
00:52:12.240 --> 00:52:15.160
coming in and redeeming our minds.

829
00:52:15.160 --> 00:52:16.920
Lord, I thank you that you would help us

830
00:52:16.920 --> 00:52:21.920
to forgive those people, to release them, to let them go,

831
00:52:22.280 --> 00:52:26.680
that we would yield to you, Lord, and know that we are,

832
00:52:26.680 --> 00:52:29.860
yes, Lord, that you're leading us into wide open spaces

833
00:52:29.860 --> 00:52:32.000
and that you're helping us, Lord,

834
00:52:32.000 --> 00:52:34.280
just as even Isaiah 43 talks about,

835
00:52:34.280 --> 00:52:36.320
that you're doing something new.

836
00:52:36.320 --> 00:52:37.960
Can you not perceive it?

837
00:52:37.960 --> 00:52:40.480
We thank you that you're creating rivers in the wasteland

838
00:52:40.480 --> 00:52:41.760
and streams in the desert,

839
00:52:41.760 --> 00:52:43.700
and you're bringing life where there's been death.

840
00:52:43.700 --> 00:52:46.760
We thank you, God, that your resurrection power

841
00:52:46.760 --> 00:52:47.920
is at work within us.

842
00:52:47.920 --> 00:52:50.720
So Lord, we thank you that we will not limit you

843
00:52:51.680 --> 00:52:53.840
because of the things we've been through, God,

844
00:52:53.840 --> 00:52:57.520
that we are different now and we are being made new

845
00:52:57.520 --> 00:53:01.880
day by day by day, like, Lord, just even that truth

846
00:53:01.880 --> 00:53:05.160
that we are being changed from glory to glory to glory,

847
00:53:05.160 --> 00:53:08.120
that every day that we have a new revelation,

848
00:53:08.120 --> 00:53:10.720
we can step further into your truth.

849
00:53:10.720 --> 00:53:13.680
Psalm 86, 17 says, send me a miraculous sign

850
00:53:13.680 --> 00:53:15.840
to show me how much you love me

851
00:53:15.840 --> 00:53:18.560
so that those who hate me will see it and be ashamed.

852
00:53:18.560 --> 00:53:21.560
Don't they know that you, Lord, are my comforter,

853
00:53:21.560 --> 00:53:23.720
the one who comes to help me?

854
00:53:23.720 --> 00:53:25.560
I love that scripture.

855
00:53:25.560 --> 00:53:28.960
Show them, Lord, show those people.

856
00:53:28.960 --> 00:53:32.720
I love how God says in his word that he will prepare

857
00:53:32.720 --> 00:53:35.120
a table for us in the presence of our enemies

858
00:53:35.120 --> 00:53:37.960
and that he will bless us,

859
00:53:37.960 --> 00:53:40.480
and even our enemies will have to turn around and bless us.

860
00:53:40.480 --> 00:53:42.680
I don't know if y'all know, but scripture does say that.

861
00:53:42.680 --> 00:53:45.260
When we follow the Lord and we live for him,

862
00:53:45.260 --> 00:53:48.420
that he'll make even our enemies have to bless us.

863
00:53:49.260 --> 00:53:52.100
And so just be leaning into the truth.

864
00:53:52.100 --> 00:53:53.700
You know, again, what is the truth?

865
00:53:53.700 --> 00:53:55.220
And the truth is what sets us free,

866
00:53:55.220 --> 00:53:57.460
but the revelation and applying the truth

867
00:53:57.460 --> 00:53:59.980
is kind of a key concept there.

868
00:53:59.980 --> 00:54:00.820
So welcome back.

869
00:54:00.820 --> 00:54:02.580
I'm so glad you're joining us again.

870
00:54:02.580 --> 00:54:05.060
Everyone is back in the main room.

871
00:54:05.060 --> 00:54:06.660
I wanna go ahead and open it up.

872
00:54:06.660 --> 00:54:08.740
Who is willing to share with the whole group

873
00:54:08.740 --> 00:54:11.280
what you shared in the breakout session?

874
00:54:13.940 --> 00:54:16.060
Sarah from SoCal, go ahead.

875
00:54:19.380 --> 00:54:21.380
You're muted if you're talking, sweetie.

876
00:54:23.860 --> 00:54:24.700
Thank you.

877
00:54:24.700 --> 00:54:26.300
You're welcome.

878
00:54:27.460 --> 00:54:28.300
Hi, Bethany.

879
00:54:28.300 --> 00:54:29.120
Hi, everybody.

880
00:54:29.120 --> 00:54:32.220
I was gonna share in group the last 60 seconds,

881
00:54:32.220 --> 00:54:34.300
but then I accidentally pressed leave now.

882
00:54:34.300 --> 00:54:35.320
And so I didn't get to share,

883
00:54:35.320 --> 00:54:38.220
but we were having a good time getting to know each other.

884
00:54:39.500 --> 00:54:44.100
But I would say I really struggle with submission

885
00:54:44.100 --> 00:54:45.400
to people in authority.

886
00:54:45.400 --> 00:54:47.140
I often mistrust.

887
00:54:47.300 --> 00:54:49.860
I like, it's hard.

888
00:54:49.860 --> 00:54:50.700
It's hard for me.

889
00:54:50.700 --> 00:54:53.660
I mean, like the principal, I'm an educator,

890
00:54:53.660 --> 00:54:55.700
the principal at the school that I worked at,

891
00:54:55.700 --> 00:54:57.620
I was a long-term sub.

892
00:54:57.620 --> 00:55:00.220
I just, it was really hard for me to trust my.

893
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:02.880
kept having, I mean, not that I mean, not that he didn't have

894
00:55:02.880 --> 00:55:05.560
or gave me a reason not to trust him, but I just always am

895
00:55:05.560 --> 00:55:09.840
suspicious. I'm always kind of, and I don't know why I do that,

896
00:55:09.840 --> 00:55:17.040
you know, with my church, I tend to not trust like I, I do trust

897
00:55:17.040 --> 00:55:19.480
until I have, I guess, maybe a reason not to, and then I tend

898
00:55:19.480 --> 00:55:23.880
to be, you know, but it's, it is hard. It's hard to, like, I feel

899
00:55:23.880 --> 00:55:28.200
like I want to give them the, like, you're the leader, and I

900
00:55:28.200 --> 00:55:30.840
want to trust you. And I want to believe that you have best in

901
00:55:30.840 --> 00:55:34.200
mind. But sometimes, like, if maybe you've done something that

902
00:55:35.040 --> 00:55:37.040
that I don't agree with, or you've made it or something

903
00:55:37.040 --> 00:55:39.920
sometimes it's hard for me, but I, I'm trying to get better

904
00:55:39.920 --> 00:55:43.640
about that. I am trying to get better about that. But yeah, I

905
00:55:43.640 --> 00:55:45.160
could definitely it can be hard.

906
00:55:45.880 --> 00:55:48.960
Yes. And this brings up a good thing that we talked about this

907
00:55:48.960 --> 00:55:52.800
afternoon. It made me think of it just now. Um, you know,

908
00:55:52.800 --> 00:55:57.720
sometimes we are discerning things, right? Okay. And that's

909
00:55:57.720 --> 00:56:00.160
the other flip side that we haven't talked about yet. There

910
00:56:00.160 --> 00:56:02.560
are going to be times where literally we're discerning

911
00:56:02.560 --> 00:56:07.320
something about those in authority over us. But then what

912
00:56:07.320 --> 00:56:11.400
do we do with that information? Do we just rebel against them?

913
00:56:11.440 --> 00:56:15.120
What do we do? So we need to pray into that a most important

914
00:56:15.120 --> 00:56:18.320
follow the Holy Spirit and everything that you do. But you

915
00:56:18.320 --> 00:56:21.520
know, some situations, I'm not saying everybody should just go

916
00:56:21.520 --> 00:56:24.800
quit their jobs if it's hard, because guess what, ladies, life

917
00:56:24.800 --> 00:56:28.560
is hard, right? All right. We're going to encounter things, but

918
00:56:28.560 --> 00:56:35.160
there are times where God will allow us to experience a

919
00:56:35.160 --> 00:56:39.640
situation from my experience to get us to move to the next place

920
00:56:39.640 --> 00:56:42.800
we're supposed to be. That's not a word for everybody. So don't

921
00:56:42.800 --> 00:56:46.080
everybody go quit your jobs. But I am saying that that is for

922
00:56:46.080 --> 00:56:50.880
some people that those are the kind of things God's not causing

923
00:56:50.880 --> 00:56:55.000
those people to mistreat us or do things, but he will use that

924
00:56:55.000 --> 00:56:59.000
to shift us and get us to move on out of there at times at

925
00:56:59.000 --> 00:57:02.040
times, right. So be aware of that. The other thing I want to

926
00:57:02.040 --> 00:57:03.960
mention, and this isn't something you said, and I'm

927
00:57:03.960 --> 00:57:06.800
going to come back and circle back to ask you a question here

928
00:57:06.800 --> 00:57:09.360
in a second, Sarah. But I also want to mention this because it

929
00:57:09.360 --> 00:57:13.520
came up this afternoon as well. Joy is actually here tonight.

930
00:57:13.560 --> 00:57:16.440
It's hopefully it's okay if I share this, but she was just

931
00:57:16.440 --> 00:57:20.840
talking about, you know, she has a very obedient nature and

932
00:57:20.840 --> 00:57:23.640
she's willing to do whatever the Lord asked her to do. And that's

933
00:57:23.640 --> 00:57:27.720
a great thing. But here's, here's the tricky thing is what

934
00:57:27.720 --> 00:57:30.880
if you have someone that's unhealthy in leadership over

935
00:57:30.880 --> 00:57:34.760
you, and you're just this really obedient person all the time?

936
00:57:35.280 --> 00:57:39.120
Well, then that gets tricky, doesn't it? Okay, so that's not

937
00:57:39.120 --> 00:57:41.960
what what I'm asking you all to do. So I want to make sure

938
00:57:41.960 --> 00:57:46.680
everybody understands, I don't want us to be obedient to the

939
00:57:46.680 --> 00:57:50.640
point that we are suffering when someone's doing unhealthy things

940
00:57:50.640 --> 00:57:54.440
or saying unhealthy things. Remember, we're submitting to

941
00:57:54.440 --> 00:57:58.600
God who is healthy. And we're talking about submitting to

942
00:57:58.600 --> 00:58:03.400
people that are also healthy. So be in prayer about this

943
00:58:03.400 --> 00:58:08.480
situation with the principle. What I do want to ask you is one

944
00:58:08.480 --> 00:58:12.680
of the things you said, you said, I'm always suspicious.

945
00:58:13.400 --> 00:58:18.560
Yeah, tell me about that. When you say a word like always, that

946
00:58:18.600 --> 00:58:20.080
that's a that's a little

947
00:58:20.680 --> 00:58:25.280
flat. Yeah, maybe maybe I maybe I use the wrong word there. Like

948
00:58:25.280 --> 00:58:28.920
I maybe I, I contend to be suspicious.

949
00:58:31.480 --> 00:58:32.280
Tell me why.

950
00:58:32.800 --> 00:58:35.040
Well, okay. So for the principle, you know, and I

951
00:58:35.040 --> 00:58:39.120
actually had somebody who was like, Oh, watch out for that

952
00:58:39.120 --> 00:58:42.440
principle, right. And so I'm like, so now my guards up,

953
00:58:42.480 --> 00:58:47.280
right. But I think that person, honestly, I think, I think they

954
00:58:47.280 --> 00:58:51.480
were speaking of a place of bitterness. And so I definitely

955
00:58:51.480 --> 00:58:54.440
was like, you know, I'm not gonna make a judgment about this

956
00:58:54.440 --> 00:58:58.880
person until I, I have a chance to get to know them and see what

957
00:58:58.880 --> 00:59:02.920
kind of a person they are. So I would say overall, yeah, a good

958
00:59:02.920 --> 00:59:06.520
principle. And there were some things, of course, I didn't

959
00:59:06.520 --> 00:59:10.280
agree with, but he did try hard. And he did. You know, he did a

960
00:59:10.280 --> 00:59:14.400
good job overall, you know, okay, personally, maybe we

961
00:59:14.400 --> 00:59:18.040
didn't get along. Great, but we we respected each other.

962
00:59:18.480 --> 00:59:21.080
You said something else really important here that I also want

963
00:59:21.080 --> 00:59:24.680
to point out to the ladies. Someone else came to you and

964
00:59:24.680 --> 00:59:30.080
said, Watch out for that guy. Yeah. And that planted seeds

965
00:59:30.280 --> 00:59:33.360
that then caused you to feel suspicious. Now you did. It

966
00:59:33.360 --> 00:59:36.480
sounds like you stayed open, which is really good. But I do

967
00:59:36.480 --> 00:59:41.000
want you all to be aware as well. One of the things now

968
00:59:41.000 --> 00:59:43.320
while you're in heartwork, if you all don't know, we ask you

969
00:59:43.320 --> 00:59:46.080
to press pause on dating, we don't want you to try to date

970
00:59:46.080 --> 00:59:48.360
right now. We don't want you to try to be on the apps right now

971
00:59:48.360 --> 00:59:52.000
we want you to heal right now. We want you to focus on that.

972
00:59:52.200 --> 00:59:57.480
Because you're here because you needed help. Okay. And step one

973
00:59:57.480 --> 00:59:59.920
to getting help to learn how to meet someone

974
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:05.840
healthy, whether you want to or not, is healing 100%. Okay. And

975
01:00:05.840 --> 01:00:10.320
so, um, as you all are moving through this program, though, we

976
01:00:10.320 --> 01:00:14.040
will talk to you all a lot about, you know, sometimes

977
01:00:14.040 --> 01:00:17.680
people think there's red flags, and there's not. And some

978
01:00:17.680 --> 01:00:21.000
people, they're looking for red flags, they're looking for

979
01:00:21.000 --> 01:00:24.180
something that's wrong. And they don't even they they don't see

980
01:00:24.180 --> 01:00:28.680
green flags and people, even people that have green flags.

981
01:00:28.960 --> 01:00:31.680
Okay, so that's why I wanted to know kind of where's the

982
01:00:31.680 --> 01:00:35.480
suspicion coming from? In this situation, it's coming from, you

983
01:00:35.480 --> 01:00:38.400
know, it might have been other things too, but what this person

984
01:00:38.400 --> 01:00:43.020
said, and so when you do look back this week, at some of the

985
01:00:43.020 --> 01:00:45.400
times that you've been suspicious, I just want to

986
01:00:45.400 --> 01:00:48.920
encourage you, like, ask the Lord, like, what did lead me to

987
01:00:48.920 --> 01:00:51.480
be suspicious there? Was it because I was actually

988
01:00:51.480 --> 01:00:56.200
discerning something that member that the supernatural Saturday

989
01:00:56.200 --> 01:00:59.160
from two weeks ago, the difference between discernment,

990
01:00:59.200 --> 01:01:02.680
intuition and suspicion? If you haven't heard that yet, that

991
01:01:02.680 --> 01:01:06.560
one's going to really help you, Sarah. But we want to we want to

992
01:01:06.560 --> 01:01:10.320
be aware of, okay, what's really going on here? Is there

993
01:01:10.320 --> 01:01:14.360
something that again, I'm seeing that I need to pay attention to?

994
01:01:14.720 --> 01:01:19.360
Or is this a fear based posture in my heart? Because I need

995
01:01:19.360 --> 01:01:20.440
healing somewhere.

996
01:01:21.360 --> 01:01:24.280
Right. And I yeah, and I would say like some couple things that

997
01:01:24.280 --> 01:01:28.280
kind of came to mind, as we're talking, would be like, I

998
01:01:28.280 --> 01:01:32.120
remember my dad was suspicious of a guy, like who worked in the

999
01:01:32.120 --> 01:01:36.360
kids, you know, nursery or whatever, like he was just, and

1000
01:01:36.360 --> 01:01:38.520
I don't know, he was just so suspicious of him. And I'm just

1001
01:01:38.520 --> 01:01:42.240
thinking, like, he seems like such a nice guy, you know, so I

1002
01:01:42.280 --> 01:01:45.160
this was at church, you know, and so I always just, so that

1003
01:01:45.160 --> 01:01:47.400
started, I feel like that planted a seed in my heart to

1004
01:01:47.400 --> 01:01:51.120
kind of be suspicious of people. And I don't my dad never I never

1005
01:01:51.120 --> 01:01:54.120
asked my dad, why are you suspicious of him? Or why? But I

1006
01:01:54.120 --> 01:01:56.920
felt like so it was just really weird. So there was that one

1007
01:01:56.920 --> 01:01:59.280
from a young age that I felt like kind of that seed got

1008
01:01:59.280 --> 01:02:03.480
planted, you know. And then in elementary school, I did a kind

1009
01:02:03.480 --> 01:02:07.600
of experience, like a playground staff member who a rec person,

1010
01:02:07.760 --> 01:02:11.200
who I would say kind of maybe had an inappropriate emotional

1011
01:02:11.200 --> 01:02:15.520
relationship with me. He didn't quite know how like it was just,

1012
01:02:15.600 --> 01:02:18.880
I don't quite know, not that he was trying to contact me outside

1013
01:02:18.880 --> 01:02:21.160
of, you know, school or anything like that. But it was

1014
01:02:21.160 --> 01:02:24.520
just, he had just literally lost his wife to I think his wife was

1015
01:02:24.520 --> 01:02:28.040
murdered by her brother. So he had a lot of drama in his life.

1016
01:02:28.040 --> 01:02:32.440
But he, you know, like, it was just a weird kind of, and I was

1017
01:02:32.440 --> 01:02:35.360
just like, I guess it was just not the healthiest, you know,

1018
01:02:35.360 --> 01:02:38.320
and and I don't I still kind of think about and I'm just like, I

1019
01:02:38.320 --> 01:02:40.400
don't quite know how to process all of that. But I just feel

1020
01:02:40.400 --> 01:02:45.040
like, you know, I don't know. So that was something that as I got

1021
01:02:45.040 --> 01:02:47.640
older, I was like, that that kind of wasn't didn't make me

1022
01:02:47.640 --> 01:02:51.560
feel like super comfortable, you know, but as a kid, you're

1023
01:02:51.560 --> 01:02:52.880
just like, you know,

1024
01:02:53.320 --> 01:02:58.400
so what I hear you saying through these stories is just a

1025
01:02:58.400 --> 01:03:02.240
kind of underlying suspicion regarding men.

1026
01:03:03.120 --> 01:03:06.560
I think so. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Yeah.

1027
01:03:06.800 --> 01:03:09.120
And so I would ask the Lord these these two things are

1028
01:03:09.120 --> 01:03:12.480
coming up tonight. I would ask him if there's still areas that

1029
01:03:12.480 --> 01:03:16.000
you need healing regarding this, you know, even though I don't

1030
01:03:16.000 --> 01:03:20.120
think your dad was doing something to harm you. He was

1031
01:03:20.120 --> 01:03:24.320
trying to protect you. But maybe his protection was coming from

1032
01:03:24.320 --> 01:03:27.480
wounds that were not healed in his life. I don't know. But I

1033
01:03:27.480 --> 01:03:32.320
would think, yeah, forgiving your dad for that, even though

1034
01:03:32.320 --> 01:03:35.440
again, he's trying to protect you that actually kind of harmed

1035
01:03:35.440 --> 01:03:37.560
you in another sense, because you didn't know what was going

1036
01:03:37.560 --> 01:03:42.480
on. You were afraid. Right. And then forgiving this guy that was

1037
01:03:42.480 --> 01:03:45.000
trying to create this emotional connection with you.

1038
01:03:45.400 --> 01:03:48.760
Yeah, where maybe he didn't realize it. He maybe didn't

1039
01:03:48.760 --> 01:03:54.040
realize it. But at the same way, either way, you you're, you felt

1040
01:03:54.040 --> 01:03:57.880
something inappropriate there. And so forgiving him for that is

1041
01:03:57.880 --> 01:04:02.440
going to some of that bond. And I would even encourage you to if

1042
01:04:02.440 --> 01:04:05.080
you've even if you've already watched the breaking soul ties,

1043
01:04:05.320 --> 01:04:08.160
I would encourage you to do the breaking soul ties prayer

1044
01:04:08.160 --> 01:04:10.720
regarding that, that situation there.

1045
01:04:11.120 --> 01:04:14.560
Okay, that's a good idea. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, you're welcome.

1046
01:04:14.760 --> 01:04:17.320
Thank you for sharing. Stephanie, go ahead.

1047
01:04:20.280 --> 01:04:27.840
Hi, hi. And I wanted to say, it was nice meeting with Audrey, it

1048
01:04:27.840 --> 01:04:30.440
cut off right before I could even tell her that also, but it

1049
01:04:30.440 --> 01:04:34.880
was nice being in the breakout with her. Also. So what I shared

1050
01:04:34.880 --> 01:04:42.800
in the breakout was, initially, my instant response was, no, I

1051
01:04:42.840 --> 01:04:46.760
don't think I have trouble with authority. And then as you were

1052
01:04:46.760 --> 01:04:51.960
praying over us, I just got the check in my spirit that yes, I

1053
01:04:51.960 --> 01:04:58.640
do. But my issue is with people pleasing, but at my heart,

1054
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:04.920
it's, I'm not doing, I'm not submitting to authority,

1055
01:05:04.920 --> 01:05:06.400
I'm doing it to please them,

1056
01:05:06.400 --> 01:05:11.120
and I'm doing it to, yeah,

1057
01:05:11.120 --> 01:05:16.120
to be enough or to feel that need,

1058
01:05:16.520 --> 01:05:19.520
but in my heart, I'm not necessarily submitting to them

1059
01:05:19.520 --> 01:05:23.960
or not necessarily feeling comfortable

1060
01:05:23.960 --> 01:05:25.680
in the environment with them,

1061
01:05:25.680 --> 01:05:29.220
whether it's in, like an example I used was with work,

1062
01:05:29.220 --> 01:05:31.660
but I can even think of other situations

1063
01:05:31.660 --> 01:05:33.700
where it's just been hard to connect

1064
01:05:33.700 --> 01:05:36.860
with whatever leadership that it may be,

1065
01:05:36.860 --> 01:05:39.380
whether it's work or sometimes even church

1066
01:05:39.380 --> 01:05:43.420
is having that connection to be able to submit

1067
01:05:43.420 --> 01:05:44.660
from a heart standpoint,

1068
01:05:44.660 --> 01:05:46.700
even though I'm submitting in action

1069
01:05:46.700 --> 01:05:48.520
and not only submitting in action,

1070
01:05:48.520 --> 01:05:50.420
but going above and beyond.

1071
01:05:50.420 --> 01:05:53.500
Yeah, did you ever have any kind of hurt in the past

1072
01:05:53.500 --> 01:05:56.420
in either a work setting or church setting?

1073
01:05:56.420 --> 01:05:57.740
Yeah.

1074
01:05:57.740 --> 01:05:58.900
In both?

1075
01:05:58.900 --> 01:06:00.500
Yeah, mm-hmm, so with work,

1076
01:06:00.500 --> 01:06:04.260
I've been laid off my last job,

1077
01:06:04.260 --> 01:06:05.820
not the one that I'm in now,

1078
01:06:05.820 --> 01:06:09.200
but the last job I was laid off.

1079
01:06:09.200 --> 01:06:12.040
I had several bosses.

1080
01:06:12.040 --> 01:06:13.900
In the five years I was there,

1081
01:06:13.900 --> 01:06:17.660
I had three different CEOs

1082
01:06:18.660 --> 01:06:21.060
that were based in the main office,

1083
01:06:21.060 --> 01:06:23.980
but within our US office,

1084
01:06:23.980 --> 01:06:26.940
I had four different presidents,

1085
01:06:26.940 --> 01:06:27.780
three different directors.

1086
01:06:27.780 --> 01:06:31.780
A lot of leadership change and was the leadership-

1087
01:06:31.780 --> 01:06:34.140
And a lot of blaming by leaders as well

1088
01:06:34.140 --> 01:06:36.000
along the way as well,

1089
01:06:37.380 --> 01:06:39.540
where things were just never enough

1090
01:06:39.540 --> 01:06:41.420
and we could never do enough.

1091
01:06:41.420 --> 01:06:43.400
Tell me about the church situation.

1092
01:06:43.400 --> 01:06:44.540
You don't have to tell me the whole thing,

1093
01:06:44.540 --> 01:06:46.340
but I'm just trying to kind of see

1094
01:06:46.340 --> 01:06:49.780
if I can sense any common themes here in this

1095
01:06:49.780 --> 01:06:51.340
as you're sharing.

1096
01:06:51.340 --> 01:06:54.460
With the church, the thing that just came to mind

1097
01:06:54.460 --> 01:06:58.860
was growing up with single mom

1098
01:06:58.860 --> 01:07:01.420
and we would do a lot for the church.

1099
01:07:01.420 --> 01:07:02.420
We would clean the church.

1100
01:07:02.420 --> 01:07:03.780
She was church secretary.

1101
01:07:03.780 --> 01:07:06.340
We would do a lot for the church as a whole,

1102
01:07:06.340 --> 01:07:11.340
but I recall my mom getting a lot of criticism

1103
01:07:11.920 --> 01:07:15.940
from the pastor's wife,

1104
01:07:17.580 --> 01:07:19.420
just a lot of criticism,

1105
01:07:19.420 --> 01:07:24.420
even to the point of the pastor's wife

1106
01:07:25.300 --> 01:07:29.500
saying that my mom was trying to get at her husband

1107
01:07:29.500 --> 01:07:30.340
and stuff.

1108
01:07:30.340 --> 01:07:34.880
So it was a lot of false criticism.

1109
01:07:35.780 --> 01:07:36.620
Okay.

1110
01:07:37.740 --> 01:07:38.580
All right.

1111
01:07:38.580 --> 01:07:42.560
So I think just in general,

1112
01:07:42.560 --> 01:07:45.820
the reason that people pleasing is kicking in,

1113
01:07:45.820 --> 01:07:46.660
I mean, I even,

1114
01:07:46.660 --> 01:07:48.740
I really think this situation with your mom,

1115
01:07:48.740 --> 01:07:51.860
you were witnessing all that, okay?

1116
01:07:51.940 --> 01:07:56.300
And so kids can't really process fully

1117
01:07:56.300 --> 01:07:58.580
what they're even seeing,

1118
01:07:58.580 --> 01:08:02.660
especially when it's very adult situations like that.

1119
01:08:02.660 --> 01:08:07.220
And so subconsciously we can start to believe the lie

1120
01:08:07.220 --> 01:08:10.060
that we like, we have to please,

1121
01:08:10.060 --> 01:08:12.580
we have to please, we have to please,

1122
01:08:12.580 --> 01:08:14.640
no matter what we do, it's never good enough.

1123
01:08:14.640 --> 01:08:17.399
And if we experienced that at home at all as well,

1124
01:08:17.399 --> 01:08:20.740
in any way that reinforces it, that reinforces it.

1125
01:08:20.740 --> 01:08:22.939
Then you go into a job situation

1126
01:08:22.939 --> 01:08:24.500
and then something similar,

1127
01:08:24.500 --> 01:08:25.899
even if they're different situations,

1128
01:08:25.899 --> 01:08:28.760
they have a similar underlying theme,

1129
01:08:28.760 --> 01:08:31.779
then that's reinforcing that more in you.

1130
01:08:31.779 --> 01:08:35.740
And so have you ever done a forgiveness prayer sheet yet

1131
01:08:35.740 --> 01:08:39.680
for this pastor and his wife criticizing your mom?

1132
01:08:39.680 --> 01:08:44.680
I had not even thought about them until now,

1133
01:08:45.620 --> 01:08:46.439
to be honest.

1134
01:08:46.439 --> 01:08:47.580
That was one of those things

1135
01:08:47.580 --> 01:08:50.380
that was the furthest from my mind until now.

1136
01:08:51.140 --> 01:08:54.140
Ladies, this is how the heart work works really,

1137
01:08:54.140 --> 01:08:58.540
is these situations that were damaging to us

1138
01:08:58.540 --> 01:08:59.979
are down in our subconscious

1139
01:08:59.979 --> 01:09:01.359
and we're not thinking about them

1140
01:09:01.359 --> 01:09:04.200
because a lot of times it gets pushed so down

1141
01:09:04.200 --> 01:09:06.279
that we've got other things we're dealing with,

1142
01:09:06.279 --> 01:09:08.479
but the Lord is bringing it up tonight.

1143
01:09:08.479 --> 01:09:10.740
I 100% believe that.

1144
01:09:10.740 --> 01:09:12.660
And so I wanna encourage you this week

1145
01:09:12.660 --> 01:09:14.460
to do a forgiveness prayer sheet,

1146
01:09:15.340 --> 01:09:17.200
to forgive that pastor and his wife

1147
01:09:17.200 --> 01:09:18.740
for criticizing your mom

1148
01:09:18.779 --> 01:09:21.700
and even really slandering your mom.

1149
01:09:21.700 --> 01:09:22.700
Cause that's what that,

1150
01:09:22.700 --> 01:09:25.779
that's what if the things that woman was saying

1151
01:09:25.779 --> 01:09:29.700
about your mom were not true, that is slander.

1152
01:09:29.700 --> 01:09:33.540
Okay, that's like tearing down someone's reputation

1153
01:09:33.540 --> 01:09:35.580
and their character, okay?

1154
01:09:35.580 --> 01:09:38.899
And that can be harmful to your mom and also to you.

1155
01:09:38.899 --> 01:09:42.920
That probably caused a lot of undue, unwarranted,

1156
01:09:42.920 --> 01:09:44.060
whatever word you wanna use,

1157
01:09:44.060 --> 01:09:45.779
their stress and all of that.

1158
01:09:45.779 --> 01:09:49.859
And so forgiving them for those situations,

1159
01:09:49.859 --> 01:09:51.859
I think is gonna be very helpful for you

1160
01:09:51.859 --> 01:09:54.420
and how you show up in other circumstances.

1161
01:09:54.420 --> 01:09:57.400
But as you're walking forward as well,

1162
01:09:58.620 --> 01:10:00.420
when you feel that people pleasing.

1163
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.080
stuff kick in. I just want you to kind of pay attention. What's

1164
01:10:04.080 --> 01:10:07.760
happening? What's happening when that's kicking in? And what

1165
01:10:07.760 --> 01:10:11.600
lies are surfacing? What are you hearing? And let's just start

1166
01:10:11.600 --> 01:10:14.240
tracking that these next few weeks. And you can talk about it

1167
01:10:14.240 --> 01:10:17.720
come in the group and just say, Hey, this happened today. The

1168
01:10:17.720 --> 01:10:20.840
people pleasing showed up. These are the lies I was hearing. And

1169
01:10:20.840 --> 01:10:23.120
let's just see what else the Lord might want to help you

1170
01:10:23.120 --> 01:10:28.600
unpack regarding that. Okay. Yeah. Good stuff. Thank you for

1171
01:10:28.600 --> 01:10:35.200
sharing that. Jovita, go ahead. Hi. Hi. Yes, I was saying in

1172
01:10:35.200 --> 01:10:39.040
the group that I don't think I generally have a problem with

1173
01:10:39.040 --> 01:10:43.520
submission. I am very okay. I think I kind of more like you

1174
01:10:43.560 --> 01:10:46.560
what you shared earlier. Like I like the rules. I don't like to

1175
01:10:46.560 --> 01:10:51.080
rebel. I'm not a rebel at all. But for some reason, when it

1176
01:10:51.080 --> 01:10:56.600
comes to, you know, finding a partner finding a man, I just

1177
01:10:56.600 --> 01:11:00.240
have this inner voice that kind of like pops up every now and

1178
01:11:00.240 --> 01:11:03.160
then and just says that, you know, God's not going to give

1179
01:11:03.160 --> 01:11:08.400
you what you want. And it's, you know, you're going to be kind of

1180
01:11:08.400 --> 01:11:12.640
forced in or like pushed into being with someone that you

1181
01:11:12.680 --> 01:11:16.400
don't really like, but you know, maybe it's like, it's like a

1182
01:11:16.400 --> 01:11:18.840
thing where you have to learn things. And I don't know where

1183
01:11:18.840 --> 01:11:22.040
that's coming from. Because I'm not like that in other areas of

1184
01:11:22.040 --> 01:11:26.600
my life, I don't see God that way. But for some reason, there

1185
01:11:26.600 --> 01:11:29.200
is that nagging voice that kind of tells me that that I can't

1186
01:11:29.200 --> 01:11:31.880
really trust God with my desires. And like, when I have

1187
01:11:31.880 --> 01:11:35.240
to end up with someone that I'm not attracted to, and just

1188
01:11:35.240 --> 01:11:38.240
things like that. So I kind of wanted to get your perspective

1189
01:11:38.240 --> 01:11:38.600
on that.

1190
01:11:39.080 --> 01:11:42.200
Well, and I don't mean when I ask you this question, just

1191
01:11:42.200 --> 01:11:48.840
because I don't remember. I'm 100% if you've already said this

1192
01:11:48.840 --> 01:11:53.360
before last week, but your heritage, okay, let's let's talk

1193
01:11:53.360 --> 01:11:58.760
about family line here. Tell me what, what it like, did anybody

1194
01:11:58.760 --> 01:12:01.320
have arranged marriages before in your family line?

1195
01:12:01.640 --> 01:12:05.400
Yeah, so I'm from India. Well, they I mean, it's pretty common

1196
01:12:05.400 --> 01:12:10.280
there. So I have no family that's average managers, my mom

1197
01:12:10.280 --> 01:12:12.760
and dad met in church, but they were kind of set up through the

1198
01:12:12.760 --> 01:12:16.000
pastor. So it's not technically arranged. It was like, um, yeah,

1199
01:12:16.000 --> 01:12:18.920
they met in church and stuff. Yeah. But it is pretty common.

1200
01:12:18.960 --> 01:12:19.320
Yeah.

1201
01:12:20.120 --> 01:12:23.680
The reason I'm asking that is because you're telling me that

1202
01:12:23.680 --> 01:12:26.120
you don't really know where this is coming from, because that's

1203
01:12:26.120 --> 01:12:29.520
not even really how you feel. And so it's got me wondering if

1204
01:12:29.520 --> 01:12:32.200
this is like a generational thing that you're encountering

1205
01:12:32.200 --> 01:12:38.600
here. Sometimes, if you all kind of like, I'm kind of like, gonna

1206
01:12:38.880 --> 01:12:41.520
get you to think kind of imaginatively a little bit

1207
01:12:41.560 --> 01:12:47.840
here. Okay. Let's imagine, um, my grandma went through

1208
01:12:47.840 --> 01:12:51.680
something hard, and she was crying out to God for it. And

1209
01:12:51.680 --> 01:12:57.880
about it. Well, that carries down into generation. Okay. And

1210
01:12:57.880 --> 01:13:01.360
so sometimes we are facing things that are just us and what

1211
01:13:01.360 --> 01:13:04.280
we're experiencing. But sometimes we're, we're

1212
01:13:04.280 --> 01:13:08.200
encountering and hearing things from the enemy because of pain

1213
01:13:08.200 --> 01:13:11.920
of other people in our family line. And so I'm not saying that

1214
01:13:11.920 --> 01:13:14.600
is 100%. But when you were talking, not just because I

1215
01:13:14.600 --> 01:13:18.840
wondered, because I mean, I I've coached long enough now, you

1216
01:13:18.840 --> 01:13:23.760
know, certain ethnicities and cultures in the world, you know,

1217
01:13:23.760 --> 01:13:27.600
they are facing that still today that that's how you do it. It's

1218
01:13:27.600 --> 01:13:31.040
an arranged marriage. And, you know, that's, that's their

1219
01:13:31.040 --> 01:13:36.440
custom. And so understanding that that can bring certain

1220
01:13:36.440 --> 01:13:41.560
fears and worries into people. And then even outside of that,

1221
01:13:41.600 --> 01:13:48.160
we can also have our own fears. And again, going back to, well,

1222
01:13:48.200 --> 01:13:50.880
if God's going to put you as someone you don't even like,

1223
01:13:51.520 --> 01:13:55.680
well, it do we mean, like, does that mean that we actually don't

1224
01:13:55.680 --> 01:14:01.160
believe that God is going to be kind to us? Do you know what I'm

1225
01:14:01.160 --> 01:14:04.000
saying? And that's why I kind of laid the groundwork I did

1226
01:14:04.000 --> 01:14:07.080
tonight, because we want to look at, like, where is that

1227
01:14:07.080 --> 01:14:11.800
coming from? And so asking the Lord, you know, when when about

1228
01:14:11.800 --> 01:14:15.720
this situation, is this something that's coming from a

1229
01:14:15.720 --> 01:14:19.560
generational family line Lord? Or is this something that's in

1230
01:14:19.600 --> 01:14:24.120
like, in my subconscious, where I'm struggling to believe that

1231
01:14:24.120 --> 01:14:27.320
you're kind and like, ladies, just being honest with God like

1232
01:14:27.320 --> 01:14:32.480
that, genuinely, he wants us to be forthcoming and honest and

1233
01:14:32.480 --> 01:14:36.760
just have these kind of questions. And it's very healing

1234
01:14:36.760 --> 01:14:40.240
and it's very good, and he will respond to you. And so I want to

1235
01:14:40.240 --> 01:14:43.640
encourage you just if you see any images, if you have any

1236
01:14:43.640 --> 01:14:47.520
memories that come up, phrases that you hear, write all that

1237
01:14:47.520 --> 01:14:51.080
stuff down, and and then tell me come back into the group and

1238
01:14:51.080 --> 01:14:53.840
tell me how that goes when you kind of talk with him. And for

1239
01:14:53.840 --> 01:14:56.680
some of you, you might be like, Well, I don't hear from God like

1240
01:14:56.680 --> 01:15:00.120
I want to encourage you, it just takes practice.

1241
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:02.000
God is always speaking.

1242
01:15:03.000 --> 01:15:06.000
We just don't always know how he's speaking to us.

1243
01:15:06.000 --> 01:15:09.000
He's like each one of us hear God in different ways.

1244
01:15:09.000 --> 01:15:14.000
I hear God through media a lot, like music, movies, all kinds of stuff.

1245
01:15:14.000 --> 01:15:19.000
Um, I mean, I've, God's spoken to me through like literally license plates

1246
01:15:19.000 --> 01:15:23.000
on cars and, uh, uh, addresses on houses.

1247
01:15:23.000 --> 01:15:28.000
Like he just taught, like, but I, I've learned to pay attention over time.

1248
01:15:28.000 --> 01:15:29.000
Does that make a sense?

1249
01:15:29.000 --> 01:15:32.000
What I'm saying, everyone, I just don't want y'all to get into shame or

1250
01:15:32.000 --> 01:15:33.000
feeling like you're not good enough.

1251
01:15:33.000 --> 01:15:36.000
If you're struggling to hear what he's saying, it just takes time.

1252
01:15:37.000 --> 01:15:41.000
Um, but just lean into what you hear or see and write that down.

1253
01:15:41.000 --> 01:15:43.000
If there's anything negative, write that down as well and come in and

1254
01:15:43.000 --> 01:15:45.000
let me know what that is.

1255
01:15:46.000 --> 01:15:46.000


1256
01:15:47.000 --> 01:15:49.000
And then we'll, we'll work on that a little bit more.

1257
01:15:49.000 --> 01:15:51.000
Uh, Damaris is asking in the chat here.

1258
01:15:51.000 --> 01:15:54.000
Do we have to do a sheet for every offense or person?

1259
01:15:54.000 --> 01:15:56.000
Do we have to do a sheet for every offense or person?

1260
01:15:56.000 --> 01:15:59.000
Like if the person hurt you twice for different situations,

1261
01:15:59.000 --> 01:16:00.000
do you do two sheets?

1262
01:16:01.000 --> 01:16:04.000
Also, do we have to do the sheets written or can we voice it only?

1263
01:16:06.000 --> 01:16:07.000
I will tell you that writing it out.

1264
01:16:11.000 --> 01:16:13.000
I'm getting some feedback there, writing it out.

1265
01:16:13.000 --> 01:16:14.000
Ladies is going to.

1266
01:16:15.000 --> 01:16:16.000
All right.

1267
01:16:16.000 --> 01:16:17.000
All right.

1268
01:16:17.000 --> 01:16:18.000
There we go.

1269
01:16:18.000 --> 01:16:19.000
Is going to kind of.

1270
01:16:19.000 --> 01:16:20.000
It's kind of.

1271
01:16:20.000 --> 01:16:26.000
From my experience.

1272
01:16:26.000 --> 01:16:38.000
Typically it's going to bring emotion up in you.

1273
01:16:38.000 --> 01:16:41.000
Because it's like, you're actually processing that.

1274
01:16:41.000 --> 01:16:43.000
And not that you're not processing it when you're talking,

1275
01:16:43.000 --> 01:16:47.000
but there is something about that mental and physical connection when

1276
01:16:47.000 --> 01:16:48.000
you're talking about it.

1277
01:16:48.000 --> 01:16:50.000
So I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to,

1278
01:16:50.000 --> 01:16:52.000
I'm going to talk a little bit more about that.

1279
01:16:52.000 --> 01:16:55.000
I'm going to talk a little bit more about the specific things.

1280
01:16:55.000 --> 01:16:56.000
Each one individually.

1281
01:16:56.000 --> 01:16:57.000
All right.

1282
01:16:57.000 --> 01:16:58.000
Hopefully that makes sense.

1283
01:16:58.000 --> 01:16:59.000
Okay. So let's see here.

1284
01:16:59.000 --> 01:17:05.000
Alicia more.

1285
01:17:05.000 --> 01:17:06.000
There you go.

1286
01:17:06.000 --> 01:17:15.000
Hi.

1287
01:17:16.000 --> 01:17:17.000
Hi.

1288
01:17:17.000 --> 01:17:22.000
A lot like Stephanie.

1289
01:17:22.000 --> 01:17:27.000
I was thinking, no, I don't have an issue with submission. I.

1290
01:17:27.000 --> 01:17:30.000
My yes comes easy when God asked me to do things.

1291
01:17:30.000 --> 01:17:32.000
So when it comes to God, my submission is.

1292
01:17:32.000 --> 01:17:39.000
Is on the table.

1293
01:17:39.000 --> 01:17:41.000
But then as you were praying, it came to me.

1294
01:17:41.000 --> 01:17:44.000
So I'm in the air force. And when I first joined the air force.

1295
01:17:44.000 --> 01:17:46.000
I was like, I'm not going to say yes, ma'am.

1296
01:17:46.000 --> 01:17:47.000
I've got 19 years of my life.

1297
01:17:47.000 --> 01:17:49.000
I'm not going to say that.

1298
01:17:49.000 --> 01:17:51.000
And who are you to tell me?

1299
01:17:51.000 --> 01:17:59.000
To say that, you know, and so.

1300
01:17:59.000 --> 01:18:00.000
And I was like,

1301
01:18:00.000 --> 01:18:03.000
I haven't thought about that in a long time because now it comes easy.

1302
01:18:03.000 --> 01:18:06.000
So, but I do have, and going through this course,

1303
01:18:06.000 --> 01:18:07.000
the lights have come up that.

1304
01:18:08.000 --> 01:18:11.000
And I've been really digging deep into those.

1305
01:18:11.000 --> 01:18:15.000
Lies.

1306
01:18:15.000 --> 01:18:22.000
And putting them before Jesus, before his feet.

1307
01:18:22.000 --> 01:18:26.000
And working to surrender him.

1308
01:18:26.000 --> 01:18:29.000
I recently on social media, I saw where a pastor was like, you,

1309
01:18:29.000 --> 01:18:31.000
you put it to see to Jesus, but then you,

1310
01:18:31.000 --> 01:18:33.000
you leave a hand there and step away. Like,

1311
01:18:33.000 --> 01:18:36.000
are you really releasing it to him? Are you really releasing it?

1312
01:18:36.000 --> 01:18:37.000
Like, are you really releasing it to him?

1313
01:18:37.000 --> 01:18:38.000
Because he's so close to you.

1314
01:18:38.000 --> 01:18:46.000
You know, but you still have a hand on it. So.

1315
01:18:46.000 --> 01:18:48.000
I'm really trying to dig deep into that,

1316
01:18:48.000 --> 01:18:51.000
but I'm very, very appreciative of this, of this course.

1317
01:18:51.000 --> 01:19:00.000
Well, I love, I love the direction. You're also going here.

1318
01:19:00.000 --> 01:19:02.000
Just that, you know, and this is ladies,

1319
01:19:02.000 --> 01:19:05.000
this is why it's so important when I just encourage y'all just to stay

1320
01:19:05.000 --> 01:19:06.000
with the Lord.

1321
01:19:06.000 --> 01:19:09.000
I know we don't like to call ourselves or label ourselves,

1322
01:19:09.000 --> 01:19:12.000
but the reality is sometimes we do struggle with things or it's down,

1323
01:19:12.000 --> 01:19:20.000
like I said, in the recess. So I love that this came up.

1324
01:19:20.000 --> 01:19:23.000
I would ask the Lord out of all the things and memories that he brought

1325
01:19:23.000 --> 01:19:26.000
up, like ask him why he brought that one up, you know,

1326
01:19:26.000 --> 01:19:29.000
and what is he trying to show you and highlight to you through that?

1327
01:19:29.000 --> 01:19:32.000
And then on the lies that you're struggling with,

1328
01:19:32.000 --> 01:19:37.000
that men can't provide or men can't keep you safe.

1329
01:19:37.000 --> 01:19:41.000
Have you been in situations before where.

1330
01:19:41.000 --> 01:19:44.000
A man didn't provide for you or keep you safe.

1331
01:19:44.000 --> 01:19:46.000
Is that where that's coming from?

1332
01:19:46.000 --> 01:19:47.000
Yes. Yeah.

1333
01:19:47.000 --> 01:19:53.000
More than once or one time.

1334
01:19:53.000 --> 01:20:00.000
I was my, I was at my dad's house and then there was a situation.

1335
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:07.000
In that situation when I came to him scared trying to explain the situation I basically wasn't pleased.

1336
01:20:07.000 --> 01:20:08.000
Okay.

1337
01:20:08.000 --> 01:20:13.000
Even though the evidence was there in his living room.

1338
01:20:13.000 --> 01:20:16.000
So, you know, so I wasn't believed then.

1339
01:20:16.000 --> 01:20:21.000
I was in a long relationship with someone where I wasn't good enough.

1340
01:20:21.000 --> 01:20:22.000
Yeah.

1341
01:20:23.000 --> 01:20:25.000
Going out and so I wasn't enough.

1342
01:20:25.000 --> 01:20:31.000
And so and honestly I haven't had a consistent relationship since that one.

1343
01:20:31.000 --> 01:20:34.000
And that was many years ago.

1344
01:20:34.000 --> 01:20:35.000
Okay.

1345
01:20:35.000 --> 01:20:43.000
Have you already done forgiveness such for forgiveness prayer sheets on either one of these things that you just mentioned.

1346
01:20:43.000 --> 01:20:46.000
The long term relationship I have.

1347
01:20:46.000 --> 01:20:57.000
A couple years ago God actually middle of nowhere just said, like, I just felt the weight lift and he just gave me the blessing of forgiving him and he's like okay now you're going to call him.

1348
01:20:57.000 --> 01:21:12.000
And I was like, Okay. And so I called him, and actually and he's like brush it off and I was like, No, and now we have a totally different relationship now so that was very very so I know what the power of forgiveness can do.

1349
01:21:13.000 --> 01:21:19.000
Yeah, so this situation I would just want to say I'm sorry that your dad didn't believe you.

1350
01:21:19.000 --> 01:21:30.000
And I feel like it's always really important to validate you all, you know, and especially when you're sharing with these vulnerable stories.

1351
01:21:31.000 --> 01:21:56.000
I know a lot of coaching sessions I'm going to encourage you all to forgive people but that truly is at the core of a lot of our stuff right we've got to forgive, we can move forward, but also asking the Lord in that process Alicia.

1352
01:21:56.000 --> 01:22:12.000
Is there any other situations where you, you didn't feel provided for or kept safe, even, even if it was an elementary school before that situation happened with your dad, just in not that anything else happened but just making sure that as you're processing this

1353
01:22:12.000 --> 01:22:29.000
stuff like Lord is there anything else that's connected to these situations in my spirit that I need revealed for healing. And so just asking him that and, again, some stuff might come up right away and other stuff might not come up for weeks, but we just trust the process ladies.

1354
01:22:30.000 --> 01:22:45.000
But this was this was really good and the Yes, ma'am. And yes, sir. I totally get that. It's interesting. People ask me a lot why I call my husband Pastor Brian I'm like, well, he is Pastor Brian.

1355
01:22:45.000 --> 01:23:14.000
But here's the thing. I feel like it's a, it's a me conveying honor and respect for his position in the church, even though he's my husband, because if I'm walking around just calling him Brian all the time now I do call him babe sometimes and, and in the beginning when I first we were first, you know, married he's like I don't want you to call me that in front of people I'm like, why I'm totally calling you that no, we it was like I didn't just force that on him but that's something we did have to talk through because he wasn't sure.

1356
01:23:15.000 --> 01:23:33.000
If that made him look, you know, less as a pastor I was like, people need to see that we have a good relationship. So, in that though, there's this level of for me, like I honor him and I respect him as the pastor of our church and he is my pastor.

1357
01:23:34.000 --> 01:23:52.000
You know, and, and so I it gives me an opportunity to share with people why I do that if they ask me, but I can tell you that if I didn't respect someone, I would have a harder time doing that.

1358
01:23:53.000 --> 01:24:10.000
Yeah. And so that's what I always want to look at, like, if we have a hard time, you know, honoring someone in those ways, where's that coming from in us, you know, and so let us know how that goes this week as you're looking at this stuff with the Lord and just see what else he wants to show you.

1359
01:24:11.000 --> 01:24:14.000
Thank you. Great job on sharing, by the way.

1360
01:24:14.000 --> 01:24:18.000
It's amazing. Yeah, you're welcome.

1361
01:24:18.000 --> 01:24:30.000
Now I see Stephanie is still is that the same Stephanie, I just want that had your hand up that already shared. I didn't know if your hand is just still up maybe.

1362
01:24:31.000 --> 01:24:33.000
Sorry.

1363
01:24:33.000 --> 01:24:34.000
I just didn't want to.

1364
01:24:34.000 --> 01:24:45.000
It's totally fine. Thank you so much. All right, Sarah. Is it Waddell or waddle I don't know how to say it. You got it right the first time most people don't want to know.

1365
01:24:45.000 --> 01:24:46.000
All right.

1366
01:24:46.000 --> 01:25:00.000
So I think my response is similar to a lot of people that have shared tonight but I kind of had to kind of revelations during it, I guess, or realizations that.

1367
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:04.880
I'm not, I have no problem with submission. I, you know, I don't put up a fight for for much

1368
01:25:04.880 --> 01:25:11.280
of anything unless I feel really strongly about it, but I think somebody said it well earlier of

1369
01:25:12.960 --> 01:25:18.800
it's more from a people-pleasing standpoint than it is actually submitting sometimes. So

1370
01:25:18.800 --> 01:25:24.480
even though I might be submitting on the exterior, on the surface, I think I'm probably not

1371
01:25:25.440 --> 01:25:31.360
on the inside. So that was my first response, but then as we were talking in our group,

1372
01:25:32.160 --> 01:25:38.960
Rebecca said something that made me realize that I think I actually submit better to people than I

1373
01:25:38.960 --> 01:25:48.560
do to God, which was something I had not thought about at all before. Okay, so what caused, like,

1374
01:25:48.560 --> 01:25:53.920
is there an area where you feel like you have a harder time submitting to God? Is it just

1375
01:25:53.920 --> 01:26:01.600
relationship or is it other areas in your life as well? That's a good question. I don't know,

1376
01:26:01.600 --> 01:26:06.720
I may have to think more about it, but the initial thought was definitely relationships and just

1377
01:26:07.520 --> 01:26:13.120
believing that he, kind of like what Jovita was saying, and just believing that he does have a

1378
01:26:13.120 --> 01:26:20.240
plan and not trying to take it into my own hands. So every time I feel like he's called me to leave

1379
01:26:20.240 --> 01:26:26.640
it in his hands, I've ended up taking charge and it has not worked out any time I've done that,

1380
01:26:26.640 --> 01:26:33.680
but I keep doing it for some reason. So in the processing and asking God to show you,

1381
01:26:33.680 --> 01:26:38.960
you know, do I have a hard time submitting in every area or is it certain areas, Lord? Okay,

1382
01:26:38.960 --> 01:26:43.840
that's going to be one of your questions this week, but I also want you to think back and process

1383
01:26:43.840 --> 01:26:49.200
these take charge moments with him where you just said, like, sometimes you'll tell him, you know,

1384
01:26:49.200 --> 01:26:53.200
you trust him, but then you're going in and taking charge. I want you to process with that,

1385
01:26:53.200 --> 01:27:01.280
with him specifically asking him, what lies was I believing and hearing when I stepped in to take

1386
01:27:01.280 --> 01:27:09.440
charge? Okay. Yeah. And, and if there's any similarities in those situations, kind of keep

1387
01:27:09.440 --> 01:27:15.440
an eye out for those. And anytime y'all can always come into the group and post about it and say,

1388
01:27:15.440 --> 01:27:19.120
this is what's coming up. And like, you can say, I don't know where to go from here,

1389
01:27:19.120 --> 01:27:24.720
or you can say, this is what else God is showing me. But that typically, then I can coach you a

1390
01:27:24.720 --> 01:27:29.680
little bit more, but I really, I don't want to overshare cause I want God to really show you

1391
01:27:29.680 --> 01:27:36.000
what it is. And then we can unpack it more from there. Like sometimes I feel like there's something

1392
01:27:36.000 --> 01:27:41.520
I got to release over you all, but this one, I feel is important for you to really be in a

1393
01:27:41.520 --> 01:27:48.720
discovery mode with the Lord, especially because of the struggles to submit more to him.

1394
01:27:50.240 --> 01:27:55.360
Cause I could just go tell you to do something and you'll do it. Okay. Because of like literally

1395
01:27:55.360 --> 01:28:02.720
what you just told me. Yeah. But I believe God wants to help repair that, that connection with

1396
01:28:02.720 --> 01:28:09.520
him, that you can trust him, that you can submit even by doing it like in this discovery and just

1397
01:28:09.520 --> 01:28:16.480
talking to him this week. And when we do that, there is this trust that begins to build with

1398
01:28:16.480 --> 01:28:21.280
the Lord. And then you can come back and kind of share. And like I said, we'll unpack it more from

1399
01:28:21.280 --> 01:28:27.600
there, but I think ladies, I'm always going to direct you all to the Lord first. That's going

1400
01:28:27.600 --> 01:28:36.000
to be my go-to for you all because you know, all people can make mistakes, right? So we should

1401
01:28:36.000 --> 01:28:41.520
always want to hear what is God saying? What is he showing me? And asking him really good

1402
01:28:41.520 --> 01:28:46.960
questions. So I look forward to hearing kind of what you, what he reveals to you. And again,

1403
01:28:46.960 --> 01:28:53.440
in those take charge moments, Lord, you know, what lies was I hearing when I stepped in to take charge

1404
01:28:54.720 --> 01:29:04.000
and also looking at in our hearts, did we believe that we could do God's job better than he could?

1405
01:29:06.160 --> 01:29:12.800
That's what I had to admit to myself. Cause I did, I didn't mean to, but I, I'm deep down. I,

1406
01:29:13.760 --> 01:29:17.680
I thought I could handle it better than him, you know, essentially. So

1407
01:29:18.480 --> 01:29:22.480
great share. Thank you so much. Thank you. You're welcome. Maureen, go ahead.

1408
01:29:24.640 --> 01:29:33.760
Hi. Can you hear me? Okay. I can. Yeah. Okay. I shared that. I don't generally have

1409
01:29:34.720 --> 01:29:43.520
a problem submitting. But I am really cautious. So I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a control freak.

1410
01:29:45.680 --> 01:29:52.320
I feel like I like to feel like I'm in control. However, and I've never had like a Christian

1411
01:29:52.320 --> 01:29:59.200
relationship. All my previous relationships have been secular and prior to my walk.

1412
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:12.640
with Jesus. So I think the reason I'm cautious is because I've seen firsthand and also heard

1413
01:30:13.840 --> 01:30:21.120
firsthand of people whose husbands would use the submission scripture as kind of a weapon to

1414
01:30:21.120 --> 01:30:26.560
control their wives or say, well, your body is mine. The Bible says, you know, you have to,

1415
01:30:27.200 --> 01:30:34.720
you know, do these things because you have to submit. And I just find that kind of scary. So

1416
01:30:36.000 --> 01:30:42.960
I shared that even before I joined this program, I was talking to somebody that I had met on an app

1417
01:30:44.160 --> 01:30:47.440
and we had kind of gotten into it about this particular scripture.

1418
01:30:48.400 --> 01:30:54.560
And I felt like I gave him enough chances to try to explain it. I was like, maybe he just doesn't

1419
01:30:54.560 --> 01:30:57.840
know how to explain it properly. Let me give him another chance, give him the benefit of the doubt

1420
01:30:57.840 --> 01:31:05.440
that he doesn't actually mean what he sounds like he's saying. And he made it sound very much like,

1421
01:31:07.680 --> 01:31:12.000
because the way that I interpret the scripture, the way that I told him, I interpret the scripture

1422
01:31:12.000 --> 01:31:19.760
is, you know, a wife should submit to her husband and she does so because she trusts his leadership

1423
01:31:19.760 --> 01:31:24.320
because he's called to love her as Christ loves the church. If he's doing that, like,

1424
01:31:24.320 --> 01:31:33.360
why would she not submit and trust his leadership? You know? But he said, no, the Bible calls a wife

1425
01:31:33.360 --> 01:31:38.000
to submit her husband, even if he's not loving her well. And I'm like, I mean, yeah, but like,

1426
01:31:38.000 --> 01:31:43.280
if he's abusing her, is she supposed to submit anyway? And he was just like, well,

1427
01:31:44.480 --> 01:31:48.880
at the end of the day, she needs to submit her husband. I don't know. It was just a really like

1428
01:31:48.880 --> 01:31:52.400
red flag flying all over the place type of conversation. And I was just like,

1429
01:31:52.400 --> 01:31:58.160
I feel like you want someone that you can control. And so that kind of put me on edge. And so

1430
01:31:59.040 --> 01:32:03.680
while I have no problem submitting, I will say that this is a scripture that I would

1431
01:32:03.680 --> 01:32:07.840
definitely want to revisit with someone I do eventually talk to, because I want to make sure

1432
01:32:07.840 --> 01:32:18.080
we're aligned. The other part that got me thinking was, I mentioned that I've only,

1433
01:32:18.080 --> 01:32:21.360
I've never had a Christian relationship. I don't know what Christian dating is like,

1434
01:32:21.360 --> 01:32:28.560
it's been more than a decade since my last relationship, but I had always been in the

1435
01:32:28.560 --> 01:32:37.920
position of like, this is going to date me. But like, if the person I was dating was

1436
01:32:37.920 --> 01:32:45.120
finishing up school, or somehow I was in the position to be the provider and kind of

1437
01:32:45.120 --> 01:32:53.360
financially support the relationship in certain ways, I had to ask myself, as we were talking,

1438
01:32:53.920 --> 01:33:00.640
would I have a problem submitting if I found myself in the same situation? Like, let's just say

1439
01:33:02.240 --> 01:33:06.960
if I was sort of providing, I mean, I hope that's not the case.

1440
01:33:07.600 --> 01:33:13.920
So are you saying, let me clarify something. Are you saying that if you were to provide for a man

1441
01:33:13.920 --> 01:33:20.720
while they were finishing school or working on school, that you might have a hard time

1442
01:33:20.720 --> 01:33:25.600
submitting to them because they're in school and you're providing? Is that what you're saying?

1443
01:33:25.600 --> 01:33:33.200
No, no. That was only my, that was my only example. So like, when I was providing,

1444
01:33:33.200 --> 01:33:37.360
I had no problem providing at the time, because I understood they were in school.

1445
01:33:38.320 --> 01:33:45.440
The truth of the matter is that at least two people that I was the provider for,

1446
01:33:45.440 --> 01:33:52.160
they kind of screwed me over. So it makes me more cautious. And like, I always wonder like, okay,

1447
01:33:52.160 --> 01:33:57.040
if I were to get into a relationship now that I'm older, I kind of know what I want.

1448
01:33:58.320 --> 01:34:05.520
And let's just say I wind up dating someone where I am still sort of providing.

1449
01:34:05.920 --> 01:34:13.520
Would I, at this age, have a problem being super submissive if I'm the one providing?

1450
01:34:13.520 --> 01:34:14.480
Yeah. Okay.

1451
01:34:14.480 --> 01:34:17.200
And I feel like that's an interesting question. And I, you know what?

1452
01:34:18.080 --> 01:34:21.200
I don't know what the answer is. I feel like I'd have to, I'd have to.

1453
01:34:21.200 --> 01:34:23.280
I'm going to help you. I'm going to help you here.

1454
01:34:23.280 --> 01:34:23.840
Okay.

1455
01:34:23.840 --> 01:34:26.720
I'm going to give you a couple of things that I think are going to be super

1456
01:34:27.520 --> 01:34:32.480
important for you in this process. A, keep staying in community, keep doing your heart work.

1457
01:34:32.560 --> 01:34:35.520
Keep doing your heart work. And then as you finish your heart work,

1458
01:34:36.080 --> 01:34:39.600
if you stay in the community, you're going to go into the next phase and you're going to get a

1459
01:34:39.600 --> 01:34:47.120
whole lot of coaching on healthy levels of relationship and appropriate conversations

1460
01:34:47.120 --> 01:34:52.720
and initial dating discovery. Okay. I'm not going to go into that tonight, but I want you to know

1461
01:34:53.440 --> 01:34:59.520
that some of the things you're talking about are things we address in this program. And we give you

1462
01:34:59.520 --> 01:34:59.840
solid.

1463
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:04.600
coaching and direction on. I think the first thing is that,

1464
01:35:04.640 --> 01:35:10.960
you know, in the situations where you heard friends being

1465
01:35:10.960 --> 01:35:15.000
with husbands that were, you know, lording submit over them,

1466
01:35:15.000 --> 01:35:20.120
if you will, including regarding having intimacy, and that, hey,

1467
01:35:20.120 --> 01:35:25.360
your body belongs to me kind of stuff. You know, unfortunately,

1468
01:35:25.360 --> 01:35:28.720
you know, that's something that you experienced that you saw

1469
01:35:28.720 --> 01:35:33.120
your friends going through. What I want you to know is that isn't

1470
01:35:33.160 --> 01:35:36.320
the case for everyone. And there's a lot of very healthy

1471
01:35:36.320 --> 01:35:42.160
dynamics and relationships, where, you know, even I'll give

1472
01:35:42.160 --> 01:35:44.960
you an example, even out in my own home, like sometimes life

1473
01:35:44.960 --> 01:35:49.380
just happens. And you might make a plan to be together and

1474
01:35:49.400 --> 01:35:52.920
somebody doesn't feel well, or somebody's recovering from

1475
01:35:52.920 --> 01:35:56.320
surgery. And like, you don't just say all your body's mine.

1476
01:35:56.320 --> 01:36:00.720
No, you love that person. And you want to respect them, right.

1477
01:36:00.960 --> 01:36:04.840
But again, that's people coming from a healthy place are going

1478
01:36:04.840 --> 01:36:09.920
to show up differently. Okay. Now, the thing for you, because

1479
01:36:09.920 --> 01:36:12.440
we don't know what else was going on in that those

1480
01:36:12.440 --> 01:36:15.520
relationships. So we can't unpack those too much, right?

1481
01:36:15.640 --> 01:36:19.480
Because that's somebody else's life. But what I can say is, for

1482
01:36:19.480 --> 01:36:25.520
you to really ask the Lord, you know, where do you need healing

1483
01:36:25.520 --> 01:36:30.880
so that those situations that were like, secondhand, aren't

1484
01:36:30.880 --> 01:36:34.920
holding you back from moving forward? You know, I'm saying,

1485
01:36:34.920 --> 01:36:39.640
so you personally saying, like, forgiving those men for doing

1486
01:36:39.640 --> 01:36:44.640
that to their wives, maybe even potentially forgiving your

1487
01:36:44.640 --> 01:36:47.320
friends for staying in situations like that, if that's

1488
01:36:47.320 --> 01:36:51.920
where you're at. But also asking the Lord, like, Lord, what is

1489
01:36:52.040 --> 01:36:57.560
where did I partner with a lie here? To believe that all men

1490
01:36:57.560 --> 01:37:03.440
would do that? Or even a lot of men, and that I might end up in

1491
01:37:03.440 --> 01:37:07.800
a similar situation? Good night, Karen. Yes, I do want to say to

1492
01:37:07.800 --> 01:37:10.680
those that might need to sign off, I am going to go I'm going

1493
01:37:10.680 --> 01:37:14.920
to finish. I'm going to let Ruth share D and Emily and then I'll

1494
01:37:14.920 --> 01:37:18.120
close off. So we are going to go a little long. But they've had

1495
01:37:18.120 --> 01:37:20.520
their hand up for a while. So I want to make sure I get to them.

1496
01:37:21.120 --> 01:37:25.080
So Maureen, just really spending time on on that with the Lord,

1497
01:37:25.480 --> 01:37:30.160
and healing in that area for yourself will also have ripple

1498
01:37:30.160 --> 01:37:33.040
effects of healing on some of this other stuff you're talking

1499
01:37:33.040 --> 01:37:37.160
about. And these men that screwed you over, and I'm not

1500
01:37:37.160 --> 01:37:39.520
doing quotes, because I don't believe you, but that's how you

1501
01:37:39.520 --> 01:37:44.320
said it. I want you to also forgive them. So forgive sheets

1502
01:37:44.320 --> 01:37:48.280
out for them process that. And here's the last thing I'm going

1503
01:37:48.280 --> 01:37:52.000
to give you as you're at all of you. This is for everyone. As

1504
01:37:52.000 --> 01:37:55.680
you're in this program, and you're healing, you're growing.

1505
01:37:56.440 --> 01:38:01.440
You are not the same person that you were before. Yeah. So

1506
01:38:02.000 --> 01:38:07.720
hopefully, because let me let me say this, I like to use my own

1507
01:38:07.720 --> 01:38:10.200
life, because then it doesn't feel like I'm pointing fingers

1508
01:38:10.200 --> 01:38:13.920
at you all are that sounds judgy. When I was with my

1509
01:38:13.920 --> 01:38:18.840
spiritual daughter's dad, um, I paid for a lot of our stuff.

1510
01:38:19.480 --> 01:38:22.080
Even when he was losing his car and losing his house, because he

1511
01:38:22.080 --> 01:38:25.640
was making really dumb decisions. Genuinely, like

1512
01:38:25.680 --> 01:38:30.440
sincerely, bad decisions. And he was getting stuff repoed and

1513
01:38:30.480 --> 01:38:34.760
like lights can turn like I was carrying the load there. Well,

1514
01:38:36.200 --> 01:38:39.680
yeah, in a sense, you know, back then, I felt that way. He

1515
01:38:39.680 --> 01:38:43.680
screwed me over. He did. He did. He treated me really bad. And he

1516
01:38:43.680 --> 01:38:47.800
didn't even appreciate things I did for him. But when I had that

1517
01:38:47.800 --> 01:38:52.800
heart posture, that didn't didn't do me very, very good.

1518
01:38:52.880 --> 01:38:58.080
Hey, I had to let that go and forgive him and also own my side

1519
01:38:58.080 --> 01:39:02.760
of the street. Guess what? People can't take what we don't

1520
01:39:02.760 --> 01:39:11.560
give them. So I needed more boundaries. Okay, and so I had

1521
01:39:11.560 --> 01:39:17.920
to own, okay, Lord, show me where I need to heal and grow

1522
01:39:17.960 --> 01:39:22.560
and become healthier, so that I don't get myself in a similar

1523
01:39:22.560 --> 01:39:28.160
situation again. Right. And so that's me taking ownership. And

1524
01:39:28.160 --> 01:39:32.920
then I'm not a victim anymore. I'm an overcomer and someone

1525
01:39:32.920 --> 01:39:35.480
who's thriving because I'm healing and I'm moving forward.

1526
01:39:35.480 --> 01:39:39.720
And I'm not living that way anymore. Makes sense. Yeah,

1527
01:39:39.880 --> 01:39:43.120
awesome. So process that stuff with the Lord and then come in

1528
01:39:43.120 --> 01:39:46.800
and tell me about it. Let's talk about it a little bit more as

1529
01:39:46.800 --> 01:39:50.240
far as the things that you know, processing forgiving those men

1530
01:39:50.240 --> 01:39:53.720
that said and did those things to their wives, these men that

1531
01:39:53.760 --> 01:39:56.720
you know, took advantage of you because it sounds like they did

1532
01:39:57.400 --> 01:40:00.080
to some degree and and I want you to process that.

1533
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:03.560
And let's see what else might bubble to the surface

1534
01:40:03.560 --> 01:40:06.020
as you process those situations

1535
01:40:06.020 --> 01:40:09.520
and step into more freedom for sure.

1536
01:40:09.520 --> 01:40:12.280
Yeah, a lot of good stuff ahead for you.

1537
01:40:13.320 --> 01:40:14.160
Thanks.

1538
01:40:14.160 --> 01:40:15.060
You're welcome.

1539
01:40:15.060 --> 01:40:16.400
Ruth, go ahead.

1540
01:40:18.040 --> 01:40:18.880
Hi, Bethany.

1541
01:40:18.880 --> 01:40:19.700
Hi, ladies.

1542
01:40:19.700 --> 01:40:20.540
Thank you.

1543
01:40:20.540 --> 01:40:22.200
And I was just writing some of what you said

1544
01:40:22.200 --> 01:40:24.520
because it was like, as you were talking to,

1545
01:40:24.520 --> 01:40:25.920
you know, some of the other ladies

1546
01:40:25.920 --> 01:40:28.600
that was really speaking to me too directly.

1547
01:40:28.600 --> 01:40:30.160
And I had to make notes for myself

1548
01:40:30.160 --> 01:40:31.880
to go back and look at later.

1549
01:40:31.880 --> 01:40:36.880
What I shared in my group was primarily that,

1550
01:40:37.880 --> 01:40:39.320
at first when you asked the question,

1551
01:40:39.320 --> 01:40:40.520
I think like several ladies,

1552
01:40:40.520 --> 01:40:41.880
my knee jerk response was,

1553
01:40:41.880 --> 01:40:43.360
oh, I can struggle with submission.

1554
01:40:43.360 --> 01:40:45.600
It was kind of like a just, you know,

1555
01:40:45.600 --> 01:40:46.720
instinctive response.

1556
01:40:46.720 --> 01:40:47.560
And I was like, wait a minute,

1557
01:40:47.560 --> 01:40:48.920
like let's unpack that a little bit

1558
01:40:48.920 --> 01:40:53.120
because as in my group and, oh crap,

1559
01:40:53.120 --> 01:40:54.200
I'm trying to get better with names.

1560
01:40:54.200 --> 01:40:56.280
I'm trying to remember who I was in a group with.

1561
01:40:56.280 --> 01:40:57.120
It wasn't Karen.

1562
01:40:57.160 --> 01:40:58.760
I'm trying to remember who I was in the group with.

1563
01:40:58.760 --> 01:41:00.400
But she shared some amazing insights

1564
01:41:00.400 --> 01:41:01.240
that she shared with me

1565
01:41:01.240 --> 01:41:03.480
and that kind of Holy Spirit used that,

1566
01:41:03.480 --> 01:41:04.760
that when I was in my marriage,

1567
01:41:04.760 --> 01:41:08.240
because the divorce was finalized in October of last year,

1568
01:41:08.240 --> 01:41:09.800
that I really struggled with that.

1569
01:41:09.800 --> 01:41:13.640
And I think part of it was because of the verbal abuse,

1570
01:41:13.640 --> 01:41:16.640
you know, the emotional abuse was emotionally unavailable,

1571
01:41:16.640 --> 01:41:20.400
that I felt that I needed to protect myself.

1572
01:41:20.400 --> 01:41:22.480
And I've noticed that I've struggled

1573
01:41:22.480 --> 01:41:23.760
even after the marriage,

1574
01:41:23.760 --> 01:41:25.960
even in the church I've been going to

1575
01:41:26.920 --> 01:41:30.360
I think it's been since March or April of last year

1576
01:41:30.360 --> 01:41:31.200
here in Idaho.

1577
01:41:31.200 --> 01:41:34.520
I, granted the pastor there, you know,

1578
01:41:34.520 --> 01:41:35.880
people have different personalities.

1579
01:41:35.880 --> 01:41:39.080
His personality is generally more controlling

1580
01:41:39.080 --> 01:41:43.320
but that really, I really pushed up against that.

1581
01:41:43.320 --> 01:41:45.400
Like I found that abrasive.

1582
01:41:45.400 --> 01:41:48.000
And I think I would have felt that way

1583
01:41:48.000 --> 01:41:51.360
if it hadn't been because of the marriage I was coming from

1584
01:41:51.360 --> 01:41:52.720
and being in that position

1585
01:41:52.720 --> 01:41:56.800
where it was very hard to submit to that,

1586
01:41:56.800 --> 01:41:58.440
especially if you don't feel safe,

1587
01:41:58.440 --> 01:42:02.400
if you feel like you constantly have to protect yourself.

1588
01:42:02.400 --> 01:42:03.640
It's very hard in that situation.

1589
01:42:03.640 --> 01:42:05.680
Even when you would say certain things that were true,

1590
01:42:05.680 --> 01:42:07.640
and this is referring to my ex-husband,

1591
01:42:07.640 --> 01:42:09.680
like if he was giving me like what someone else

1592
01:42:09.680 --> 01:42:12.560
would consider constructive criticism at times,

1593
01:42:12.560 --> 01:42:15.680
just because it was coming in that spirit of like,

1594
01:42:15.680 --> 01:42:17.000
I don't feel safe with you

1595
01:42:17.000 --> 01:42:19.560
or the abuse of being constantly put down.

1596
01:42:19.560 --> 01:42:22.360
It was very difficult to,

1597
01:42:23.120 --> 01:42:23.960
oh, Tamika, thank you so much.

1598
01:42:23.960 --> 01:42:26.360
Tamika shared the insight of my group.

1599
01:42:26.360 --> 01:42:30.240
It was very difficult to receive that.

1600
01:42:30.240 --> 01:42:32.680
Even when there were times where this was just genuine,

1601
01:42:32.680 --> 01:42:34.520
you know, like constructive criticism

1602
01:42:34.520 --> 01:42:35.880
without strings attached.

1603
01:42:35.880 --> 01:42:37.560
Cause it wasn't all bad, it wasn't horrible,

1604
01:42:37.560 --> 01:42:39.520
but there were times when you would still get,

1605
01:42:39.520 --> 01:42:41.000
you know, the Holy Spirit is using somebody,

1606
01:42:41.000 --> 01:42:43.600
even if the person is not healed,

1607
01:42:43.600 --> 01:42:45.880
to tell you something that you need to listen to

1608
01:42:45.880 --> 01:42:48.120
and you need to be humble.

1609
01:42:48.120 --> 01:42:48.960
That was the word.

1610
01:42:48.960 --> 01:42:50.360
You receive that.

1611
01:42:50.360 --> 01:42:51.200
And so struggling with that.

1612
01:42:51.200 --> 01:42:52.720
And even now at churches,

1613
01:42:52.720 --> 01:42:54.880
but I've noticed that ever since going through the marriage

1614
01:42:54.880 --> 01:42:55.800
and getting out of that,

1615
01:42:55.800 --> 01:42:57.440
the separation and the divorce,

1616
01:42:57.440 --> 01:43:00.560
that I just constantly have my guard up, like always.

1617
01:43:00.560 --> 01:43:02.960
So like every time if someone comes in,

1618
01:43:02.960 --> 01:43:05.640
and it's both with men and women, which confused me.

1619
01:43:05.640 --> 01:43:07.160
Cause I would think it was only with people

1620
01:43:07.160 --> 01:43:08.800
in positions of authority,

1621
01:43:08.800 --> 01:43:11.800
but it's like, you have to look out for yourself

1622
01:43:11.800 --> 01:43:13.320
so you don't get hurt.

1623
01:43:13.320 --> 01:43:15.560
And so, you know, you don't let your guard down.

1624
01:43:15.560 --> 01:43:17.160
Cause I noticed that two things

1625
01:43:17.160 --> 01:43:18.920
that I thought were wrong with me.

1626
01:43:18.920 --> 01:43:20.640
One was that I'm too trusting.

1627
01:43:21.480 --> 01:43:23.920
In fact, that's actually something my family,

1628
01:43:23.920 --> 01:43:26.280
my family has really criticized me about.

1629
01:43:26.280 --> 01:43:27.480
And not only the bad people,

1630
01:43:27.480 --> 01:43:28.920
my mom would tell me that I'm too,

1631
01:43:28.920 --> 01:43:30.480
I just, I let people down.

1632
01:43:30.480 --> 01:43:34.600
I just pour my heart out instead of being discerning.

1633
01:43:34.600 --> 01:43:37.280
And then a second thing is that I'm very,

1634
01:43:38.280 --> 01:43:39.120
so too trusted.

1635
01:43:39.120 --> 01:43:40.480
And then also being like passive,

1636
01:43:40.480 --> 01:43:43.080
like, I don't even know what is passive,

1637
01:43:43.080 --> 01:43:45.160
but like where, oh, I don't want to rock the boat.

1638
01:43:45.160 --> 01:43:47.160
I think that's supposed to be people pleasing.

1639
01:43:47.160 --> 01:43:48.600
We kind of, what we spoke about.

1640
01:43:48.600 --> 01:43:50.600
So again, caring and yeah,

1641
01:43:50.600 --> 01:43:51.960
sometimes caring too much.

1642
01:43:51.960 --> 01:43:54.120
It's like, you can only help certain people so much.

1643
01:43:54.120 --> 01:43:55.640
Like even with my ex-husband,

1644
01:43:55.640 --> 01:43:56.760
the things I would do for him,

1645
01:43:56.760 --> 01:43:59.600
for his family, for my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law,

1646
01:43:59.600 --> 01:44:02.200
I don't know if it was a way of trying to earn love

1647
01:44:02.200 --> 01:44:04.840
or earn trust because I didn't believe that

1648
01:44:04.840 --> 01:44:06.800
or respect that about myself.

1649
01:44:06.800 --> 01:44:07.640
I don't know.

1650
01:44:07.640 --> 01:44:09.200
But anyway, so those were the things that were,

1651
01:44:09.200 --> 01:44:10.880
now I feel like I've flipped the chart

1652
01:44:10.880 --> 01:44:12.680
and I'm on the whole other extreme

1653
01:44:12.680 --> 01:44:16.120
where it's now suspicion, guard always up

1654
01:44:16.120 --> 01:44:19.480
because I've been too, quote unquote, dumb

1655
01:44:19.480 --> 01:44:21.480
to trust into this.

1656
01:44:21.480 --> 01:44:22.800
So now I have to be like,

1657
01:44:22.800 --> 01:44:26.160
I can't even trust that heart that God gave me

1658
01:44:26.160 --> 01:44:27.880
of showing kindness and mercy to others.

1659
01:44:27.880 --> 01:44:28.720
So I'm like, well,

1660
01:44:28.720 --> 01:44:30.520
what if I'm just falling into whole patterns?

1661
01:44:30.520 --> 01:44:31.800
And then there's just somebody there

1662
01:44:31.800 --> 01:44:33.600
on the other end who's very cunning.

1663
01:44:33.600 --> 01:44:37.080
And like my ex-husband wasn't who knows how to exploit

1664
01:44:37.080 --> 01:44:39.800
what I would in the past give without even thinking

1665
01:44:39.800 --> 01:44:41.320
with no ulterior motives,

1666
01:44:41.320 --> 01:44:43.640
but somebody who knows how to exploit people

1667
01:44:43.640 --> 01:44:45.800
who are passive and who are kind

1668
01:44:46.480 --> 01:44:48.120
and who don't know what their boundaries are.

1669
01:44:48.120 --> 01:44:50.280
So now I'm like on this whole other end of like, okay,

1670
01:44:50.280 --> 01:44:51.640
I always have to have my guard up

1671
01:44:51.640 --> 01:44:54.400
because what if I'm not seeing what I should be seeing?

1672
01:44:55.360 --> 01:44:58.000
Yeah, and here's a couple of things.

1673
01:44:58.000 --> 01:44:59.360
I wrote down the word,

1674
01:44:59.360 --> 01:45:00.200
cause you said,

1675
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:02.960
It went from one extreme to the other, okay?

1676
01:45:02.960 --> 01:45:05.100
So that's kind of highlighted to me.

1677
01:45:05.100 --> 01:45:07.440
So I wrote the word balance.

1678
01:45:07.440 --> 01:45:11.120
And so I wanna encourage you to ask the Lord to like pray

1679
01:45:11.120 --> 01:45:13.920
and ask him to help bring you back into balance.

1680
01:45:13.920 --> 01:45:17.960
Cause basically you just did an over correct, okay?

1681
01:45:17.960 --> 01:45:20.160
So I don't want you to shame yourself for that.

1682
01:45:20.160 --> 01:45:22.720
Even though I hear what your parents are saying and family,

1683
01:45:22.720 --> 01:45:25.160
they just want you to be careful, okay?

1684
01:45:25.160 --> 01:45:28.480
But where you just really pray

1685
01:45:28.480 --> 01:45:33.280
and ask him to bring you back into that place of, you know,

1686
01:45:33.280 --> 01:45:37.560
wisdom and hearing what the Holy Spirit's saying.

1687
01:45:37.560 --> 01:45:40.600
But also the other thing that I think is really important

1688
01:45:40.600 --> 01:45:43.120
to mention here is that community is gonna be

1689
01:45:43.120 --> 01:45:46.880
really important for you, this community in particular.

1690
01:45:46.880 --> 01:45:50.460
Because as you're going, you can come in

1691
01:45:50.460 --> 01:45:53.360
and tell us situations that you're navigating.

1692
01:45:53.360 --> 01:45:55.460
It doesn't have to always be romantic.

1693
01:45:55.460 --> 01:45:59.260
And you can say, is this healthy the way I'm looking

1694
01:45:59.260 --> 01:46:01.280
at this situation with this person?

1695
01:46:02.160 --> 01:46:05.140
Or am I being suspicious?

1696
01:46:05.140 --> 01:46:07.560
Like you can literally ask us those kinds of things

1697
01:46:07.560 --> 01:46:09.320
and we can help you process that.

1698
01:46:10.500 --> 01:46:13.180
And not even just, you know, we do ask in the heart work

1699
01:46:13.180 --> 01:46:16.860
that just the coaches respond in those kinds of ways, okay?

1700
01:46:16.860 --> 01:46:20.620
But as you all go further into the community,

1701
01:46:20.620 --> 01:46:24.400
we believe in sisters like helping each other.

1702
01:46:24.400 --> 01:46:26.480
And, you know, some people get triggered

1703
01:46:26.480 --> 01:46:29.340
and they respond out of their trigger, that still happens.

1704
01:46:29.340 --> 01:46:34.280
But a lot of people, you know, they do give very solid,

1705
01:46:34.280 --> 01:46:37.200
like, hey, yeah, no, just be careful in that situation

1706
01:46:37.200 --> 01:46:38.600
or, you know, whatnot.

1707
01:46:38.600 --> 01:46:43.520
But the last thing I'll say is,

1708
01:46:43.520 --> 01:46:46.200
I used to be very similar, Ruth.

1709
01:46:46.200 --> 01:46:50.360
And I still sometimes will even tell my husband, Brian,

1710
01:46:50.360 --> 01:46:54.120
like, or talk to the Lord, but just the Lord and Brian,

1711
01:46:54.840 --> 01:46:56.360
those are my two go-tos a lot of the time.

1712
01:46:56.360 --> 01:46:59.540
But I'm feeling kind of suspicious here,

1713
01:46:59.540 --> 01:47:01.580
but I also am discerning this stuff.

1714
01:47:01.580 --> 01:47:03.480
So I just wanna voice this.

1715
01:47:03.480 --> 01:47:05.420
This is, you know, this is what I was telling my husband.

1716
01:47:05.420 --> 01:47:07.080
I'm praying about this with the Lord

1717
01:47:07.080 --> 01:47:10.280
because I don't want the wounds of the past

1718
01:47:10.280 --> 01:47:12.860
to cause me to be suspicious towards.

1719
01:47:14.040 --> 01:47:17.520
There tends to be a certain type of female,

1720
01:47:18.440 --> 01:47:20.760
people that are very opinionated.

1721
01:47:20.800 --> 01:47:24.000
And like, I feel that, like that resistance

1722
01:47:24.000 --> 01:47:25.940
coming from them in the spirit,

1723
01:47:26.840 --> 01:47:29.580
where I tend to have a really tough time with them.

1724
01:47:30.640 --> 01:47:35.640
And so I put this person's name

1725
01:47:35.680 --> 01:47:37.200
on my Jesus Cares board, you all.

1726
01:47:37.200 --> 01:47:38.080
It just came to my mind.

1727
01:47:38.080 --> 01:47:40.320
I didn't even think of this until just now,

1728
01:47:40.320 --> 01:47:42.400
because I kept, there's been this situation

1729
01:47:42.400 --> 01:47:43.600
with this woman here at the church.

1730
01:47:43.600 --> 01:47:46.720
And I'm like, Lord, like, why am I facing this again

1731
01:47:46.720 --> 01:47:48.600
in another church and another, you know,

1732
01:47:48.600 --> 01:47:50.160
with another woman that like,

1733
01:47:50.160 --> 01:47:53.560
I'm just trying to do what you're calling me to do here.

1734
01:47:53.560 --> 01:47:55.840
And I'm just feeling this constant friction

1735
01:47:55.840 --> 01:47:57.080
and she's trying to control me.

1736
01:47:57.080 --> 01:47:59.920
And the Lord, the one day was like,

1737
01:47:59.920 --> 01:48:01.520
you should put that on your Jesus Cares board.

1738
01:48:01.520 --> 01:48:03.160
The Lord's whispering that to me.

1739
01:48:03.160 --> 01:48:05.000
Oh, good idea, Lord.

1740
01:48:05.000 --> 01:48:07.040
And so I did, I put her up on my Jesus,

1741
01:48:07.040 --> 01:48:09.800
I put her name up on there, Lord.

1742
01:48:09.800 --> 01:48:12.720
And I wrote a word under that.

1743
01:48:12.720 --> 01:48:15.320
That's what I wanted him to help me with, right?

1744
01:48:15.320 --> 01:48:19.080
And you all, this last experience I had with her

1745
01:48:19.080 --> 01:48:20.440
went pretty good.

1746
01:48:22.040 --> 01:48:24.640
It went pretty good for the first time.

1747
01:48:24.640 --> 01:48:26.880
And so I'm seeing the Lord work in there.

1748
01:48:26.880 --> 01:48:28.840
And so I wanna encourage you, Ruth,

1749
01:48:28.840 --> 01:48:32.440
like sometimes you are gonna feel similar things

1750
01:48:32.440 --> 01:48:35.000
as what you've been through, okay?

1751
01:48:35.000 --> 01:48:36.880
And God is going to give you discernment

1752
01:48:36.880 --> 01:48:39.160
that that is similar.

1753
01:48:39.160 --> 01:48:41.920
And then other times you're gonna have to really

1754
01:48:41.920 --> 01:48:46.920
just work on and practice walking in discernment

1755
01:48:47.400 --> 01:48:49.520
and intuition and not suspicion.

1756
01:48:51.040 --> 01:48:54.720
And that discernment is a gift that we can grow in.

1757
01:48:54.720 --> 01:48:58.600
You know, it's one of the gifts of the spirit, okay?

1758
01:48:58.600 --> 01:49:01.480
And so understand that we're not all gonna

1759
01:49:01.480 --> 01:49:03.120
instantly have discernment.

1760
01:49:03.120 --> 01:49:06.280
And some people are literally given anointings

1761
01:49:06.280 --> 01:49:07.840
of discernment.

1762
01:49:08.840 --> 01:49:11.840
So some people actually just carry that.

1763
01:49:11.840 --> 01:49:13.520
Other, we all have to grow in it,

1764
01:49:13.520 --> 01:49:16.080
but like some people just, it's more,

1765
01:49:16.080 --> 01:49:18.680
like it's more of their natural anointing

1766
01:49:18.680 --> 01:49:21.960
and the flow of the gifting that is dominant in them.

1767
01:49:21.960 --> 01:49:23.520
Does that make sense?

1768
01:49:23.520 --> 01:49:24.360
Yeah.

1769
01:49:24.360 --> 01:49:25.840
So I just want,

1770
01:49:25.840 --> 01:49:27.800
even though I understand what your family's saying,

1771
01:49:27.800 --> 01:49:31.160
I just know just from things you've shared in the past,

1772
01:49:31.160 --> 01:49:35.560
you really try to do things like to that perfection level.

1773
01:49:35.960 --> 01:49:38.160
And I don't want something they're saying

1774
01:49:38.160 --> 01:49:40.520
that they're trying to help you,

1775
01:49:40.520 --> 01:49:43.480
but I don't want you to feel that you have,

1776
01:49:43.480 --> 01:49:46.800
like you're messing up if you're not seeing something

1777
01:49:46.800 --> 01:49:49.640
exactly like how they see it or as quick.

1778
01:49:49.640 --> 01:49:53.640
Because you are developing a new muscle, okay?

1779
01:49:54.760 --> 01:49:55.600
Yeah.

1780
01:49:55.600 --> 01:49:56.440
Thank you so much.

1781
01:49:56.440 --> 01:49:58.880
The last thing I just wanted to add before I yield

1782
01:49:58.880 --> 01:50:00.280
was just, okay, I'm praying.

1783
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:02.960
for my dad. I know we've prayed before, but he's the one with

1784
01:50:02.960 --> 01:50:06.440
that. Vincent is the one that had to bring because he's in his

1785
01:50:06.440 --> 01:50:08.800
second hospital readmission right now and he had some

1786
01:50:08.800 --> 01:50:12.560
complications. Just praying for complete healing for him.

1787
01:50:13.240 --> 01:50:17.120
I will, Vincent, you said, right? That's the right. Okay,

1788
01:50:17.440 --> 01:50:21.280
we will pray for him before we hop off tonight. Okay. All

1789
01:50:21.280 --> 01:50:23.200
right. Thank you. Dee, go ahead.

1790
01:50:23.200 --> 01:50:35.080
Hello. Okay. Um, I actually, I actually was wondering if we

1791
01:50:35.080 --> 01:50:37.680
could, um, well, I just wanted to speak it out because it might

1792
01:50:37.680 --> 01:50:41.400
be nothing, but I'd love to get your thoughts on this, uh, on

1793
01:50:41.400 --> 01:50:46.960
this. So when similar to everybody else, um, you know,

1794
01:50:47.240 --> 01:50:49.920
well, I say everybody else, most of us that were like there,

1795
01:50:49.920 --> 01:50:53.320
nothing to be no issues with submission. I was one of them.

1796
01:50:53.920 --> 01:50:57.800
And then as Stephanie was talking, it occurred to me that

1797
01:50:57.840 --> 01:51:02.200
I have a, I don't know if I want to call it an issue, but I have

1798
01:51:02.200 --> 01:51:06.480
to work for myself. I have to. And so again, this might not be

1799
01:51:06.480 --> 01:51:10.920
anything, but I know that you are so good at, you know, seeing

1800
01:51:10.920 --> 01:51:13.400
deeply. And so I thought I'd just present it and see if

1801
01:51:13.400 --> 01:51:16.840
there's anything, um, that comes from it. I have to work for

1802
01:51:16.840 --> 01:51:20.040
myself. I have been, you know, we spoke a couple of weeks ago

1803
01:51:20.040 --> 01:51:23.480
and since I was, well, I started my first business under 10

1804
01:51:23.880 --> 01:51:26.920
because I realized, and that's a quote unquote, that I had to

1805
01:51:27.120 --> 01:51:30.520
look after myself. I had to, you know, me, myself and I kind of

1806
01:51:30.520 --> 01:51:37.320
thing. Um, and I have occasionally tried to work for

1807
01:51:37.320 --> 01:51:40.520
others and occasions when I was raising my daughter, but even

1808
01:51:40.520 --> 01:51:43.400
then I always had my own business going on. Like I had to,

1809
01:51:43.920 --> 01:51:47.800
and, uh, there were some occasions where there were just

1810
01:51:47.840 --> 01:51:51.680
terrible people that I worked for, you know, supervisors or

1811
01:51:52.000 --> 01:51:56.480
whatever, you know, they weren't all bad situations, but let's

1812
01:51:56.480 --> 01:52:00.040
just say, I have to work for myself. I just have to, I have

1813
01:52:00.040 --> 01:52:03.040
to. And that's what, so what does that fulfill in you? Tell

1814
01:52:03.040 --> 01:52:08.040
me what that, like, when you're saying I have to, is it just a

1815
01:52:08.280 --> 01:52:11.960
self protection? Like I have to be the one to take care of

1816
01:52:11.960 --> 01:52:18.400
myself. Or is it something that you don't feel fulfilled if

1817
01:52:18.400 --> 01:52:21.960
you're not doing that? Or is it both?

1818
01:52:23.920 --> 01:52:29.800
I think, I'm not sure. Maybe a bit of the first. And the

1819
01:52:29.800 --> 01:52:32.000
reason I say I have to more that the times that I have

1820
01:52:32.000 --> 01:52:35.560
actually tried to work for others. Um, and maybe I'll give

1821
01:52:35.560 --> 01:52:39.280
you a bit of an example. When I was, um, you know, a transition

1822
01:52:39.280 --> 01:52:42.320
to become an attorney and run my own law firm was my whole

1823
01:52:42.320 --> 01:52:44.600
thing. I've always been an entrepreneur. So literally I was

1824
01:52:44.600 --> 01:52:47.240
always going to run my own law firm. Um, but when things

1825
01:52:47.240 --> 01:52:50.040
happened in the pandemic during that time, I wasn't able to just

1826
01:52:50.040 --> 01:52:53.240
take the bar because things were delayed. And so that messed up

1827
01:52:53.240 --> 01:52:57.120
my plans. And that was actually just before I joined M12M and

1828
01:52:57.120 --> 01:53:00.120
things kind of went a bit crazy. But the point is, is that, um,

1829
01:53:00.200 --> 01:53:03.840
I had to, because I didn't get to take the bar and pass it,

1830
01:53:03.840 --> 01:53:07.600
which was in my grand plan. I, um, there was an ability, there

1831
01:53:07.600 --> 01:53:10.840
was a possibility to work still under licensure, but under a

1832
01:53:10.840 --> 01:53:14.720
supervisor at a law firm. And I thought, my goodness, God's done

1833
01:53:14.720 --> 01:53:17.120
it again. You know, he's found a way for me. And of course I took

1834
01:53:17.120 --> 01:53:20.160
it because I was able to practice earlier without having

1835
01:53:20.160 --> 01:53:22.680
passed the bar, but I had to be under supervisor, you know,

1836
01:53:22.720 --> 01:53:25.400
supervisor. And in that situation, that's just like a

1837
01:53:25.400 --> 01:53:32.000
case in point because it didn't end up well, not that, um, he

1838
01:53:32.000 --> 01:53:38.560
was just very, it turned out, it turned out that he, I mean, he

1839
01:53:38.560 --> 01:53:40.840
hired me because of my credentials, um, because I'm an

1840
01:53:40.840 --> 01:53:42.880
entrepreneur and I was able to essentially start up the

1841
01:53:42.880 --> 01:53:47.920
business law division in a sense of what he was doing. So we had

1842
01:53:47.920 --> 01:53:50.120
a vision that was similar. He worked on estate planning and

1843
01:53:50.120 --> 01:53:52.960
that was my other vision. And so we were essentially, I wasn't a

1844
01:53:52.960 --> 01:53:55.480
partner. I was a supervisor, I was being supervised, but

1845
01:53:55.480 --> 01:53:58.360
essentially with my credentials of my history of entrepreneurship

1846
01:53:58.360 --> 01:54:02.760
many decades, I was able to technically man that area and it

1847
01:54:02.760 --> 01:54:05.880
was good for him because he could expand. But I also found

1848
01:54:05.880 --> 01:54:09.400
out that he had a bit of an insidious kind of plan, things

1849
01:54:09.400 --> 01:54:12.080
that he threw out there. I've never been one for, I don't want

1850
01:54:12.080 --> 01:54:15.800
this to come across wrong. I've never had racial issues and

1851
01:54:15.800 --> 01:54:18.400
things like that. It's just not my norm. You know, I see people

1852
01:54:18.400 --> 01:54:21.480
are people and all of that. But I think it's the first time that

1853
01:54:21.480 --> 01:54:24.280
I've had it literally thrown in my face. He literally said,

1854
01:54:24.360 --> 01:54:27.040
it's perfect. You're, you know, you're, I mean, I'm not

1855
01:54:27.040 --> 01:54:29.840
African-American, but he said, you're African-American, you're

1856
01:54:29.840 --> 01:54:32.280
a woman. It was like, you tickle these things and it makes me

1857
01:54:32.280 --> 01:54:36.280
look good. Essentially, he said it. And it was like, whoa, you

1858
01:54:36.280 --> 01:54:40.320
know, like, that was horrible. But I mean, again, I mean, I've

1859
01:54:40.320 --> 01:54:43.120
got thick skin, I'm very soft inside, but you know, I was

1860
01:54:43.120 --> 01:54:46.200
like, okay, whatever. It kind of went in my, in one ear and out

1861
01:54:46.200 --> 01:54:49.360
the other, because I attend to similarly to the last caller,

1862
01:54:49.360 --> 01:54:54.720
Ruth, so much in common in a sense of too kind, too nice, all

1863
01:54:54.720 --> 01:54:56.200
of that stuff to the point where, you know, I've been

1864
01:54:56.200 --> 01:54:57.880
working on boundaries for a while. But anyway, that was one

1865
01:54:57.880 --> 01:55:00.080
of the things, but it ended up where he

1866
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:02.640
He was just very mean-spirited, I suppose,

1867
01:55:02.640 --> 01:55:05.680
the way he would, he, on the outside,

1868
01:55:05.680 --> 01:55:07.640
he's very friendly and everyone loves him,

1869
01:55:07.640 --> 01:55:10.280
but, you know, very unkind behind the scenes

1870
01:55:10.280 --> 01:55:12.960
and he'd end up shouting and saying things.

1871
01:55:12.960 --> 01:55:14.840
And this was all about, but, you know,

1872
01:55:14.840 --> 01:55:17.120
just being very rude and just in a way

1873
01:55:17.120 --> 01:55:18.760
that I just didn't appreciate.

1874
01:55:18.760 --> 01:55:20.640
And it kind of, what's the word?

1875
01:55:20.640 --> 01:55:24.480
It kind of proved my point internally

1876
01:55:24.480 --> 01:55:26.740
that this is why I just cannot work for anyone,

1877
01:55:26.740 --> 01:55:28.400
if that makes sense.

1878
01:55:28.400 --> 01:55:31.320
I had to, and I say had to because I didn't have to,

1879
01:55:31.320 --> 01:55:34.720
of course not, but it helped serve my purpose

1880
01:55:34.720 --> 01:55:36.080
of being able to practice.

1881
01:55:36.080 --> 01:55:37.360
And then there's another attorney

1882
01:55:37.360 --> 01:55:40.000
that I've been so blessed with opportunities

1883
01:55:40.000 --> 01:55:42.600
before I was even able to practice on my own.

1884
01:55:42.600 --> 01:55:44.680
Another law firm that I worked for, I'll be quick,

1885
01:55:44.680 --> 01:55:47.240
but this was one that really hit me hard

1886
01:55:47.240 --> 01:55:51.840
because I have boundaries when it comes to my life.

1887
01:55:51.840 --> 01:55:54.120
You know, I work during the day and I have certain hours,

1888
01:55:54.120 --> 01:55:55.380
but when it comes to Friday evening,

1889
01:55:55.380 --> 01:55:57.080
when it comes to Sabbath, I'm not working

1890
01:55:57.080 --> 01:55:58.280
and I'm not working till Monday.

1891
01:55:59.000 --> 01:56:02.000
That's just been me for a long time with all my businesses.

1892
01:56:02.000 --> 01:56:05.400
And I was hired and of course I'm the hire,

1893
01:56:05.400 --> 01:56:07.000
I'm the one being hired and I'm a junior

1894
01:56:07.000 --> 01:56:09.400
and I'm being trained in this particular area of law.

1895
01:56:09.400 --> 01:56:11.280
And this director, I'm never really big,

1896
01:56:11.280 --> 01:56:14.840
this big stakes law firm, but he hired me.

1897
01:56:14.840 --> 01:56:17.560
We spoke, he hired me, loved me, hired me.

1898
01:56:17.560 --> 01:56:20.560
When it came to the person that I was under,

1899
01:56:20.560 --> 01:56:23.160
who was his partner, it was her law practice.

1900
01:56:23.160 --> 01:56:26.800
She essentially, you know, in the law,

1901
01:56:26.840 --> 01:56:28.960
well, let's be quick, in the legal industry,

1902
01:56:28.960 --> 01:56:31.120
it's typically known that you're working 24 seven.

1903
01:56:31.120 --> 01:56:32.400
That's what's typical out there.

1904
01:56:32.400 --> 01:56:34.880
Like, you know, if you have your phone on,

1905
01:56:34.880 --> 01:56:36.440
that's just not me, I just don't do that.

1906
01:56:36.440 --> 01:56:37.760
I just don't do that.

1907
01:56:37.760 --> 01:56:38.840
And I did it respectfully.

1908
01:56:38.840 --> 01:56:40.520
I told him, you know, before he even hired me,

1909
01:56:40.520 --> 01:56:42.900
these are things, you know, is that gonna be a problem?

1910
01:56:42.900 --> 01:56:45.360
I'm not gonna be like on call, you know,

1911
01:56:45.360 --> 01:56:46.600
these are the hours that I work.

1912
01:56:46.600 --> 01:56:49.200
And it wasn't rude, it was a conversation.

1913
01:56:49.200 --> 01:56:51.600
When it came to it, we had an emergency situation

1914
01:56:51.600 --> 01:56:53.080
come through on a Friday night.

1915
01:56:53.080 --> 01:56:54.720
And again, different hours, I'm in Hawaii

1916
01:56:54.720 --> 01:56:57.400
and then it's a California law firm.

1917
01:56:57.400 --> 01:56:59.880
And so hours, you know, three hours ahead, behind, whatever,

1918
01:56:59.880 --> 01:57:01.200
never a problem for me, I'm always there.

1919
01:57:01.200 --> 01:57:03.040
You know, if it's five in the morning, 4 a.m. here,

1920
01:57:03.040 --> 01:57:06.360
I'm ready, seven o'clock, California time, whatever.

1921
01:57:06.360 --> 01:57:09.080
Anyway, the point is, is that there was a client

1922
01:57:09.080 --> 01:57:10.760
that came in, it was an emergency,

1923
01:57:10.760 --> 01:57:14.040
and she'd sent something, an instruction for me to do,

1924
01:57:14.040 --> 01:57:15.120
but I'd already signed off.

1925
01:57:15.120 --> 01:57:17.080
And that was the time that everybody knew.

1926
01:57:17.080 --> 01:57:19.000
I didn't get it till Monday.

1927
01:57:19.000 --> 01:57:21.080
And so I logged in, I was like, oh, you know,

1928
01:57:21.080 --> 01:57:23.280
thinking it was okay because everyone knew.

1929
01:57:23.280 --> 01:57:24.600
And so we had a conversation.

1930
01:57:25.480 --> 01:57:27.040
And he wasn't angry with me, but he basically, I said,

1931
01:57:27.040 --> 01:57:28.400
well, he said, is there any way

1932
01:57:28.400 --> 01:57:30.080
that you could work on Saturday?

1933
01:57:30.080 --> 01:57:31.760
And I said, no, because, you know,

1934
01:57:31.760 --> 01:57:34.120
I did mention it to you, you know, on Friday,

1935
01:57:34.120 --> 01:57:35.160
I basically have Sabbath.

1936
01:57:35.160 --> 01:57:36.240
He goes, well, how about Sunday?

1937
01:57:36.240 --> 01:57:39.160
I said, well, at the time I was literally figuring it out.

1938
01:57:39.160 --> 01:57:41.160
Like, is Sabbath, is it supposed to be, you know,

1939
01:57:41.160 --> 01:57:42.160
this day, that day?

1940
01:57:42.160 --> 01:57:45.680
I know it's not about being legalistic and religious,

1941
01:57:45.680 --> 01:57:47.400
but at the time I was still figuring out from God,

1942
01:57:47.400 --> 01:57:49.480
literally, like, do I do the whole weekend?

1943
01:57:49.480 --> 01:57:51.280
I just don't want to, because Sunday's typically for,

1944
01:57:51.280 --> 01:57:53.360
you know, anyway, the point is, I said to him, no,

1945
01:57:53.360 --> 01:57:55.920
because, you know, I really would like to have my Sundays.

1946
01:57:55.920 --> 01:57:58.480
And he basically said something that was like,

1947
01:57:58.480 --> 01:58:00.760
oh, well, I grew up Baptist and I grew up in the church

1948
01:58:00.760 --> 01:58:03.240
and I was in the church every single, you know, every day.

1949
01:58:03.240 --> 01:58:05.320
And I grew up under this and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah.

1950
01:58:05.320 --> 01:58:09.200
But he basically insulted me saying that this person,

1951
01:58:09.200 --> 01:58:11.680
this person just wants to have time off whenever she wants.

1952
01:58:11.680 --> 01:58:12.800
And it was just really rude.

1953
01:58:12.800 --> 01:58:15.960
It wasn't like, first off, I thought he was joking,

1954
01:58:15.960 --> 01:58:18.560
but the point is he was, it became nasty and very rude.

1955
01:58:18.560 --> 01:58:20.920
And it was kind of like belittling my,

1956
01:58:21.920 --> 01:58:24.480
on one hand he's saying he knows God,

1957
01:58:24.480 --> 01:58:25.520
and on the other hand he's saying

1958
01:58:25.520 --> 01:58:28.000
that you do what I say, basically.

1959
01:58:28.000 --> 01:58:30.120
And I just won't, I won't bow down to any man for,

1960
01:58:30.120 --> 01:58:31.920
you know, God first, that's just me.

1961
01:58:31.920 --> 01:58:34.160
So, but the thing is, I think something like that

1962
01:58:34.160 --> 01:58:36.000
is another example of, oh, there you go.

1963
01:58:36.000 --> 01:58:38.120
And I eventually left because it got worse and worse.

1964
01:58:38.120 --> 01:58:40.040
They didn't pay me and I had to chase the money,

1965
01:58:40.040 --> 01:58:41.240
you know, just things like that.

1966
01:58:41.240 --> 01:58:42.920
And, but that was a sticking point for him.

1967
01:58:42.920 --> 01:58:44.000
He really didn't like that.

1968
01:58:44.000 --> 01:58:46.200
That really got him, it got under his skin

1969
01:58:46.200 --> 01:58:48.480
when I mentioned that it was more me, you know,

1970
01:58:48.480 --> 01:58:51.080
wanting to, you know, wanting to observe the Sabbath.

1971
01:58:51.080 --> 01:58:52.800
I was very honest about it.

1972
01:58:52.800 --> 01:58:57.800
And anyway, the point is, is that that literally made me,

1973
01:58:57.840 --> 01:59:00.280
well, not made me, it was just another example.

1974
01:59:00.280 --> 01:59:02.080
I eventually passed, you know,

1975
01:59:02.080 --> 01:59:03.240
literally a couple of months later

1976
01:59:03.240 --> 01:59:05.400
and I left immediately and started my firm.

1977
01:59:05.400 --> 01:59:07.560
I have a question, I have a question for you.

1978
01:59:07.560 --> 01:59:08.400
Sorry to interrupt.

1979
01:59:08.400 --> 01:59:09.560
I'm babbling a bit.

1980
01:59:09.560 --> 01:59:10.960
No, this is okay.

1981
01:59:10.960 --> 01:59:12.920
So my question is this,

1982
01:59:13.800 --> 01:59:16.880
have you had similar experiences in dating?

1983
01:59:17.880 --> 01:59:19.960
Where I am-

1984
01:59:19.960 --> 01:59:23.920
Where you start dating someone and they insult you

1985
01:59:25.040 --> 01:59:28.000
or something happens and you just,

1986
01:59:28.000 --> 01:59:29.760
you can't be with that person.

1987
01:59:35.280 --> 01:59:36.960
Yes, but that's, that's extreme though.

1988
01:59:36.960 --> 01:59:38.720
You know, like when they've become verbally abusive

1989
01:59:38.720 --> 01:59:39.560
or done something.

1990
01:59:39.560 --> 01:59:40.400
Okay.

1991
01:59:40.400 --> 01:59:41.240
Okay.

1992
01:59:41.240 --> 01:59:42.360
I would say it's warranted.

1993
01:59:42.360 --> 01:59:43.200
Yeah.

1994
01:59:43.200 --> 01:59:44.040
I would say at least.

1995
01:59:44.040 --> 01:59:46.360
I just wanted to make sure this wasn't showing up

1996
01:59:46.720 --> 01:59:49.200
in other areas is what I'm, why I'm asking.

1997
01:59:49.200 --> 01:59:50.040
Yeah.

1998
01:59:50.040 --> 01:59:50.880
Yeah.

1999
01:59:50.880 --> 01:59:51.800
You know, here's the thing.

2000
01:59:51.800 --> 01:59:54.880
Some people are just called to be entrepreneurs

2001
01:59:54.880 --> 01:59:56.880
and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

2002
01:59:56.880 --> 01:59:59.960
But to say that we can never work for someone else, I-

2003
02:00:00.000 --> 02:00:02.880
would encourage you to not partner with that.

2004
02:00:02.880 --> 02:00:04.400
Because unfortunately, yeah,

2005
02:00:04.400 --> 02:00:07.040
you have these two negative experiences,

2006
02:00:07.040 --> 02:00:09.840
but that isn't the case with everyone.

2007
02:00:09.840 --> 02:00:13.520
You're not gonna always experience that with everyone.

2008
02:00:13.520 --> 02:00:16.200
But, you know, now that I work,

2009
02:00:16.200 --> 02:00:19.400
I mean, I work for Jackie, but I also like,

2010
02:00:19.400 --> 02:00:23.320
I mean, my hours are like kind of flexible.

2011
02:00:23.320 --> 02:00:26.440
Like I can literally some days go sit by the pool

2012
02:00:26.440 --> 02:00:29.320
and do my job, not on a coaching day,

2013
02:00:29.320 --> 02:00:33.040
but like other days I could sit out by a pool and do my job.

2014
02:00:33.040 --> 02:00:36.560
Well, so I don't know if I wanna work for a corporation

2015
02:00:36.560 --> 02:00:38.240
and be in an eight to five anymore.

2016
02:00:38.240 --> 02:00:43.240
Does that mean that I'm saying I have to always work

2017
02:00:43.960 --> 02:00:46.640
for myself or work in a remote job?

2018
02:00:46.640 --> 02:00:48.600
No, but I like to.

2019
02:00:50.240 --> 02:00:51.840
I think there's a difference there.

2020
02:00:51.840 --> 02:00:55.160
And so just remember that when you're saying things

2021
02:00:55.160 --> 02:00:56.960
that you're not partnering with,

2022
02:00:56.960 --> 02:00:59.760
I can't ever trust anybody,

2023
02:01:00.680 --> 02:01:02.600
therefore I can't work for them

2024
02:01:02.600 --> 02:01:06.120
because people are always out to do, you know,

2025
02:01:06.120 --> 02:01:11.120
insidious things or put me down or not honor my boundaries.

2026
02:01:11.320 --> 02:01:14.360
Again, it's when we make, and not that you are,

2027
02:01:14.360 --> 02:01:16.440
but I'm just, for everyone's sake,

2028
02:01:16.440 --> 02:01:18.320
I just want everyone to hear this.

2029
02:01:18.320 --> 02:01:21.280
We wanna be careful about generalities.

2030
02:01:21.280 --> 02:01:22.920
That's the point I'm making.

2031
02:01:22.920 --> 02:01:25.800
Yeah, I mean, yeah.

2032
02:01:25.800 --> 02:01:28.280
I was just gonna say, it's not that those two are the one,

2033
02:01:28.280 --> 02:01:30.240
you know, that those two things are the only things alone.

2034
02:01:30.240 --> 02:01:31.080
I'm not, it's not that.

2035
02:01:31.080 --> 02:01:33.120
It's been a sprinkle of things, okay?

2036
02:01:33.120 --> 02:01:35.480
And so they were just the most recent examples

2037
02:01:35.480 --> 02:01:36.840
that have just made it so.

2038
02:01:36.840 --> 02:01:38.320
And then with other things that happened.

2039
02:01:38.320 --> 02:01:39.240
So I hear you.

2040
02:01:39.240 --> 02:01:41.880
I mean, and it's not like I wouldn't volunteer on things.

2041
02:01:41.880 --> 02:01:42.960
I can be led, you know?

2042
02:01:42.960 --> 02:01:45.360
I'm a good team player, even though I'm very alpha.

2043
02:01:45.360 --> 02:01:47.360
I am actually that person that can actually be told

2044
02:01:47.360 --> 02:01:48.760
what to do with respect.

2045
02:01:48.760 --> 02:01:51.000
It's about, you know, just the dynamics.

2046
02:01:51.000 --> 02:01:54.720
Yeah, and here's, so I wanna point something out to you.

2047
02:01:54.720 --> 02:01:56.960
So I didn't necessarily mean

2048
02:01:56.960 --> 02:02:00.880
that these are the only two situations you've ever been.

2049
02:02:00.880 --> 02:02:04.280
But something just kicked in for you

2050
02:02:04.280 --> 02:02:06.400
to make sure that we knew

2051
02:02:06.400 --> 02:02:09.160
that there were other situations you had been through.

2052
02:02:09.160 --> 02:02:11.440
So I wanna make sure that you're,

2053
02:02:11.440 --> 02:02:14.720
there's not a fear of people thinking bad of you.

2054
02:02:14.720 --> 02:02:18.360
Like if you're just who you are, kicking in there.

2055
02:02:18.360 --> 02:02:22.160
You know, like even one of the things I know recently

2056
02:02:22.160 --> 02:02:23.400
that you were really working on

2057
02:02:23.400 --> 02:02:25.320
was going and having fun

2058
02:02:25.320 --> 02:02:27.640
and just building that into your life.

2059
02:02:27.640 --> 02:02:30.000
So just make sure that, you know,

2060
02:02:30.000 --> 02:02:31.800
there's not this thing that kicks in

2061
02:02:31.800 --> 02:02:34.000
that if you actually, you know,

2062
02:02:34.000 --> 02:02:35.560
do what God is calling you to do

2063
02:02:35.560 --> 02:02:38.520
and living in your purpose that you're,

2064
02:02:38.520 --> 02:02:40.720
I guess what I'm hearing is like,

2065
02:02:40.720 --> 02:02:42.360
that you're not kicking into having

2066
02:02:42.360 --> 02:02:46.560
to prove yourself to people, okay?

2067
02:02:46.560 --> 02:02:51.320
And so, yeah, that's kind of what's standing out to me

2068
02:02:51.320 --> 02:02:52.160
for you tonight.

2069
02:02:52.160 --> 02:02:54.720
Just make sure that that's not kicking in.

2070
02:02:54.720 --> 02:02:58.480
Cause I didn't necessarily think bad

2071
02:02:58.480 --> 02:03:00.440
even if that there were more situations

2072
02:03:00.440 --> 02:03:01.800
or these were the only two.

2073
02:03:01.800 --> 02:03:04.200
I just wanted you to see that maybe,

2074
02:03:04.200 --> 02:03:06.240
maybe this is because you actually just have

2075
02:03:06.240 --> 02:03:10.320
a real anointing and gifting to be an entrepreneur.

2076
02:03:10.320 --> 02:03:13.720
But we wanna make sure that we're not allowing God

2077
02:03:13.720 --> 02:03:18.560
or the enemy to lead us into partnering with generalities

2078
02:03:18.560 --> 02:03:21.400
about people or ourselves.

2079
02:03:21.440 --> 02:03:22.880
Does that make sense?

2080
02:03:22.880 --> 02:03:23.720
I appreciate that.

2081
02:03:23.720 --> 02:03:24.880
And that's why I wanted to say something

2082
02:03:24.880 --> 02:03:26.440
cause I thought there might be something there

2083
02:03:26.440 --> 02:03:28.240
that that's happening.

2084
02:03:28.240 --> 02:03:30.520
And is it, so thanks for helping with that.

2085
02:03:30.520 --> 02:03:31.360
I appreciate it.

2086
02:03:31.360 --> 02:03:32.200
You're welcome.

2087
02:03:32.200 --> 02:03:33.720
You're welcome.

2088
02:03:33.720 --> 02:03:35.040
Emily, go ahead.

2089
02:03:39.040 --> 02:03:43.040
Initially when you had talked or posed the question,

2090
02:03:44.000 --> 02:03:47.760
my first reaction was I have control issues.

2091
02:03:47.760 --> 02:03:49.360
And so that's always been,

2092
02:03:49.360 --> 02:03:51.280
and I don't wanna say always been,

2093
02:03:52.160 --> 02:03:54.480
but that has been a struggle for me

2094
02:03:54.480 --> 02:03:57.920
because I want it the way that I want it.

2095
02:03:59.240 --> 02:04:04.240
I do struggle with OCD behavior and stuff like that.

2096
02:04:06.920 --> 02:04:09.560
But as it just sort of dawned on me

2097
02:04:09.560 --> 02:04:12.560
as people were talking, as other women were talking,

2098
02:04:12.560 --> 02:04:16.720
that I think part of what sort of is partnering

2099
02:04:16.840 --> 02:04:21.440
or underlying that is my tit for tat mentality

2100
02:04:21.440 --> 02:04:25.520
of if I do this, then you're expected to do that.

2101
02:04:28.440 --> 02:04:30.440
Where does that most for you?

2102
02:04:32.400 --> 02:04:34.760
Unfortunately, a lot of places.

2103
02:04:34.760 --> 02:04:35.600
Okay.

2104
02:04:35.600 --> 02:04:40.600
Probably only the place that it doesn't necessarily show up

2105
02:04:40.720 --> 02:04:44.960
is work, but that I think has a lot to do with the fact

2106
02:04:44.960 --> 02:04:48.520
that I'm a paralegal and not an attorney.

2107
02:04:48.520 --> 02:04:53.520
So the expectation is, is that I do the bottom work

2108
02:04:54.120 --> 02:04:56.280
that feeds to the attorney work.

2109
02:04:57.360 --> 02:05:00.280
But if we're talking about personal relationships.

2110
02:05:00.000 --> 02:05:00.840
Oops.

2111
02:05:01.800 --> 02:05:05.840
I've struggled with that at a great level.

2112
02:05:05.840 --> 02:05:07.780
Was it like that when you were younger?

2113
02:05:07.780 --> 02:05:08.620
Oh my gosh, yes.

2114
02:05:08.620 --> 02:05:09.760
Do you have siblings?

2115
02:05:10.660 --> 02:05:13.520
Yes, I have one younger sister.

2116
02:05:15.680 --> 02:05:17.400
Okay, so tell me how it showed up

2117
02:05:17.400 --> 02:05:20.100
this tit for tat mentality when you were younger.

2118
02:05:23.200 --> 02:05:25.240
I think, I mean, the biggest thing is

2119
02:05:25.240 --> 02:05:28.160
that's what was demonstrated

2120
02:05:28.200 --> 02:05:30.360
by and with my parents,

2121
02:05:30.360 --> 02:05:33.600
in my relationship with my parents

2122
02:05:33.600 --> 02:05:37.080
and then their relationship with one another.

2123
02:05:37.080 --> 02:05:39.380
Okay, so it's a learned behavior.

2124
02:05:39.380 --> 02:05:40.440
That's what I hear you saying.

2125
02:05:40.440 --> 02:05:42.340
Yes, I think.

2126
02:05:44.480 --> 02:05:47.480
And then it just has, as I've gotten older

2127
02:05:47.480 --> 02:05:49.760
and become an adult, I've noticed that it

2128
02:05:51.680 --> 02:05:54.880
has really solidified, especially when I notice

2129
02:05:54.880 --> 02:05:59.480
my obsessive compulsive behaviors trying to take over.

2130
02:05:59.480 --> 02:06:01.000
Yeah, so tell me about that too,

2131
02:06:01.000 --> 02:06:04.120
because do y'all know that OCD

2132
02:06:04.120 --> 02:06:07.080
tends to be from fragmentation

2133
02:06:07.080 --> 02:06:12.080
and it's a way that we will try to regain control

2134
02:06:13.280 --> 02:06:17.440
on some level because our life feels out of control.

2135
02:06:17.440 --> 02:06:20.720
So when did the OCD kick in for you?

2136
02:06:20.720 --> 02:06:23.020
Has this been for everything or?

2137
02:06:24.020 --> 02:06:25.940
Probably, for the most part,

2138
02:06:25.940 --> 02:06:29.300
I started to notice the tendencies

2139
02:06:29.300 --> 02:06:32.220
when I was in middle school and high school,

2140
02:06:33.400 --> 02:06:37.460
but I've also recently been officially diagnosed with ADHD.

2141
02:06:37.460 --> 02:06:41.860
And so now that, I don't wanna say that's been taken care of

2142
02:06:41.860 --> 02:06:45.380
but now that I'm resolving some of those behaviors,

2143
02:06:45.380 --> 02:06:47.740
the OCD is getting worse.

2144
02:06:48.420 --> 02:06:49.500
Okay.

2145
02:06:49.500 --> 02:06:54.500
So, I'm seeking additional mental health therapy

2146
02:06:56.620 --> 02:07:00.660
to deal with all of those things.

2147
02:07:00.660 --> 02:07:02.780
When you were in middle school,

2148
02:07:02.780 --> 02:07:05.900
because that's when it started showing up first,

2149
02:07:05.900 --> 02:07:08.420
was there anything in particular

2150
02:07:08.420 --> 02:07:11.220
that was extra stressful than normal?

2151
02:07:12.220 --> 02:07:15.220
To be honest, I don't remember a lot of my childhood.

2152
02:07:15.220 --> 02:07:16.540
It's okay.

2153
02:07:16.540 --> 02:07:21.540
Well, I can't answer that honestly

2154
02:07:21.620 --> 02:07:23.060
because I couldn't tell you.

2155
02:07:24.100 --> 02:07:26.700
Nothing initially pops out to me.

2156
02:07:27.620 --> 02:07:28.460
And that's all right.

2157
02:07:28.460 --> 02:07:29.940
It's totally fine.

2158
02:07:29.940 --> 02:07:33.220
And I want you to know that that's actually really normal

2159
02:07:33.220 --> 02:07:38.220
when we go through situations that are traumatic.

2160
02:07:39.060 --> 02:07:43.060
On any level, sometimes we don't remember them, okay?

2161
02:07:43.060 --> 02:07:46.260
And so I wanna encourage you just to ask the Lord, okay?

2162
02:07:46.260 --> 02:07:48.980
Ask the Lord about this OCD behavior

2163
02:07:48.980 --> 02:07:51.020
when it started in middle school

2164
02:07:51.020 --> 02:07:55.020
to reveal to you anything that you need to know

2165
02:07:55.020 --> 02:07:58.340
so that you can heal and move forward

2166
02:07:58.340 --> 02:07:59.940
and just see what he brings up.

2167
02:07:59.940 --> 02:08:03.140
And we don't want you to get any shovels out

2168
02:08:03.140 --> 02:08:04.620
and try to dig and figure it out,

2169
02:08:04.620 --> 02:08:07.220
but just let him show you what he brings up.

2170
02:08:07.300 --> 02:08:11.100
But just let him show you, trust his timing.

2171
02:08:11.100 --> 02:08:15.420
And then have you forgiven your parents

2172
02:08:15.420 --> 02:08:18.700
specifically for this tit for tat behavior?

2173
02:08:22.100 --> 02:08:24.420
Yes, with my dad.

2174
02:08:24.420 --> 02:08:26.620
That's a work in progress with my mom.

2175
02:08:28.180 --> 02:08:30.420
But the way that they were towards each other

2176
02:08:30.420 --> 02:08:31.260
in front of you,

2177
02:08:31.260 --> 02:08:35.140
have you ever specifically forgiven them for being out?

2178
02:08:35.140 --> 02:08:36.340
I don't think so, no.

2179
02:08:37.140 --> 02:08:40.420
Yeah, I think part of what can happen,

2180
02:08:40.420 --> 02:08:42.100
and I'm not saying I know for sure

2181
02:08:42.100 --> 02:08:43.620
that this is what's happened with you,

2182
02:08:43.620 --> 02:08:45.300
but I'm just wanna put this out there

2183
02:08:45.300 --> 02:08:47.020
for you to be thinking about it.

2184
02:08:48.060 --> 02:08:51.700
Sometimes when our parents are a certain way

2185
02:08:51.700 --> 02:08:55.060
and we don't like it and we judge them for it,

2186
02:08:55.060 --> 02:08:58.020
whether we mean to or not, especially as kids,

2187
02:08:58.020 --> 02:08:59.940
I don't think we even mean to,

2188
02:08:59.940 --> 02:09:02.220
but we don't know how to process it.

2189
02:09:03.220 --> 02:09:06.460
What can happen when we judge them

2190
02:09:06.460 --> 02:09:08.700
is we become bitter then,

2191
02:09:08.700 --> 02:09:13.220
and sometimes we end up doing those same behaviors

2192
02:09:13.220 --> 02:09:15.620
because we've never forgiven them

2193
02:09:15.620 --> 02:09:18.820
and we've actually partnered with lies and bitterness

2194
02:09:18.820 --> 02:09:20.860
and all that stuff's in there.

2195
02:09:20.860 --> 02:09:25.300
And so I'm not saying it will just automatically cause,

2196
02:09:25.300 --> 02:09:27.820
you do not struggle with that, okay?

2197
02:09:27.820 --> 02:09:31.300
But I am saying that if you forgive your parents

2198
02:09:31.500 --> 02:09:34.900
for mistreating each other like that in front of you,

2199
02:09:34.900 --> 02:09:37.260
and I'm not even saying you need to go to them

2200
02:09:37.260 --> 02:09:38.220
and say anything to them.

2201
02:09:38.220 --> 02:09:39.900
Right now, it's just processing

2202
02:09:39.900 --> 02:09:41.580
on the forgiveness prayer sheet

2203
02:09:42.780 --> 02:09:46.140
and forgiving yourself for doing it as well.

2204
02:09:48.380 --> 02:09:51.180
And being specific, like forgiving yourself

2205
02:09:51.180 --> 02:09:52.540
for a time in particular, like,

2206
02:09:52.540 --> 02:09:55.100
Lord, what are the times I really need to process

2207
02:09:55.100 --> 02:09:59.420
forgiving myself for having this tit for tat mentality

2208
02:09:59.420 --> 02:10:00.260
and holding.

2209
02:10:00.000 --> 02:10:01.000
I'm not going to lie.

2210
02:10:01.000 --> 02:10:02.000
I mean,

2211
02:10:02.000 --> 02:10:05.000
I specifically said the tit for tat because I think that's what it

2212
02:10:05.000 --> 02:10:06.000
drills down to.

2213
02:10:06.000 --> 02:10:07.000
Yeah.

2214
02:10:07.000 --> 02:10:08.000
Yeah.

2215
02:10:08.000 --> 02:10:09.000
Yeah.

2216
02:10:09.000 --> 02:10:10.000
Yeah.

2217
02:10:10.000 --> 02:10:11.000
Yeah.

2218
02:10:11.000 --> 02:10:12.000
Yeah.

2219
02:10:12.000 --> 02:10:13.000
Yeah.

2220
02:10:13.000 --> 02:10:14.000
Yeah.

2221
02:10:14.000 --> 02:10:15.000
Yeah.

2222
02:10:15.000 --> 02:10:16.000
Yeah.

2223
02:10:16.000 --> 02:10:17.000
Yeah.

2224
02:10:17.000 --> 02:10:18.000
Yeah.

2225
02:10:18.000 --> 02:10:19.000
Yeah.

2226
02:10:19.000 --> 02:10:20.000
Yeah.

2227
02:10:20.000 --> 02:10:21.000
Yeah.

2228
02:10:21.000 --> 02:10:22.000
Yeah.

2229
02:10:22.000 --> 02:10:23.000
Yeah.

2230
02:10:23.000 --> 02:10:24.000
Yeah.

2231
02:10:24.000 --> 02:10:25.000
Yeah.

2232
02:10:25.000 --> 02:10:26.000
Yeah.

2233
02:10:26.000 --> 02:10:27.000
Yeah.

2234
02:10:27.000 --> 02:10:28.000
Yeah.

2235
02:10:28.000 --> 02:10:29.000
Yeah.

2236
02:10:29.000 --> 02:10:30.000
Yeah.

2237
02:10:30.000 --> 02:10:31.000
Yeah.

2238
02:10:31.000 --> 02:10:32.000
Yeah.

2239
02:10:32.000 --> 02:10:33.000
Yeah.

2240
02:10:33.000 --> 02:10:36.000
I specifically said the tit for tat because I think that's what it

2241
02:10:36.000 --> 02:10:37.000
drills down to.

2242
02:10:37.000 --> 02:10:41.000
But just over walk overwhelmingly, like I treat my relationships.

2243
02:10:41.000 --> 02:10:42.000
In a very transaction.

2244
02:10:42.000 --> 02:10:44.000
Setting and so.

2245
02:10:44.000 --> 02:10:48.000
Just as a general rule.

2246
02:10:48.000 --> 02:10:55.000
And so I would really love to be able to break free from that.

2247
02:10:55.000 --> 02:10:56.000
Yeah.

2248
02:10:56.000 --> 02:10:57.000
Yeah.

2249
02:10:57.000 --> 02:10:58.000
Yeah.

2250
02:10:58.000 --> 02:10:59.000
Yeah.

2251
02:10:59.000 --> 02:11:00.000
Yeah.

2252
02:11:00.000 --> 02:11:02.000
Safety. It's very like.

2253
02:11:02.000 --> 02:11:07.000
We just have something that we give each other and that's it.

2254
02:11:07.000 --> 02:11:09.000
And sometimes people also, you know,

2255
02:11:09.000 --> 02:11:13.000
certain personalities and characteristics about people,

2256
02:11:13.000 --> 02:11:23.000
they might struggle socially.

2257
02:11:23.000 --> 02:11:26.000
And so I think it's important to just really think about,

2258
02:11:26.000 --> 02:11:27.000
you know,

2259
02:11:27.000 --> 02:11:30.000
what are some of the things that you're thinking about and how do you

2260
02:11:30.000 --> 02:11:31.000
help each other.

2261
02:11:31.000 --> 02:11:33.000
And I think when we talk about relationships,

2262
02:11:33.000 --> 02:11:36.000
I think a lot of times we just think that God is relational.

2263
02:11:36.000 --> 02:11:38.000
He's relational and he put his image inside of us.

2264
02:11:38.000 --> 02:11:41.000
And so he can help us learn how to reconnect with people.

2265
02:11:41.000 --> 02:11:42.000
Okay.

2266
02:11:42.000 --> 02:11:46.000
But I think for you just hearing that you don't remember some

2267
02:11:46.000 --> 02:11:48.000
significant parts of childhood.

2268
02:11:48.000 --> 02:11:50.000
Some of the things you're saying you saw with your parents.

2269
02:11:50.000 --> 02:11:52.000
Some of the other OCD, you know,

2270
02:11:52.000 --> 02:11:54.000
some of the things that you saw with your parents,

2271
02:11:54.000 --> 02:11:56.000
some of the things that you saw with your parents.

2272
02:11:56.000 --> 02:11:59.000
God is going to probably present someone to you.

2273
02:11:59.000 --> 02:12:00.000
Even a friend.

2274
02:12:00.000 --> 02:12:01.000
Okay.

2275
02:12:01.000 --> 02:12:08.000
While you're in heartwork potentially.

2276
02:12:08.000 --> 02:12:12.000
Where he might nudge you to step out of the transactional and into

2277
02:12:12.000 --> 02:12:13.000
the relational.

2278
02:12:13.000 --> 02:12:14.000
Okay.

2279
02:12:14.000 --> 02:12:16.000
It might feel uncomfortable,

2280
02:12:16.000 --> 02:12:18.000
but I want to encourage you to practice on it.

2281
02:12:18.000 --> 02:12:19.000
Okay.

2282
02:12:19.000 --> 02:12:20.000
Okay.

2283
02:12:20.000 --> 02:12:23.000
And I want you to know that God hears what you're saying.

2284
02:12:23.000 --> 02:12:26.000
I don't know when, I don't know if it's going to be during heartwork,

2285
02:12:26.000 --> 02:12:31.000
but I'm hearing that for you.

2286
02:12:31.000 --> 02:12:33.000
And I don't know if you've been praying for a close friend.

2287
02:12:33.000 --> 02:12:37.000
I want you to know that God hears what you're saying and praying

2288
02:12:37.000 --> 02:12:46.000
about, and that he is going to provide that friend for you.

2289
02:12:46.000 --> 02:12:49.000
But he wants you to heal so that you can receive that friend and

2290
02:12:49.000 --> 02:12:50.000
receive that friend.

2291
02:12:50.000 --> 02:12:51.000
Okay.

2292
02:12:51.000 --> 02:12:54.000
So as you're praying, you're welcome.

2293
02:12:54.000 --> 02:12:55.000
As I've said to everyone else,

2294
02:12:55.000 --> 02:12:58.000
you can come into the group and post about it and let's,

2295
02:12:58.000 --> 02:13:00.000
let's help you process this more.

2296
02:13:00.000 --> 02:13:03.000
I want to just say we love you and we're glad that you're here.

2297
02:13:03.000 --> 02:13:07.000
And I also say.

2298
02:13:07.000 --> 02:13:10.000
That what just happened was very relational, Emily.

2299
02:13:10.000 --> 02:13:12.000
I hope that you see that.

2300
02:13:12.000 --> 02:13:15.000
You allowed us in, you let your walls down.

2301
02:13:15.000 --> 02:13:18.000
And we're ha I feel it in the spirit.

2302
02:13:18.000 --> 02:13:22.000
I want you to see that you aren't just a transactional person.

2303
02:13:22.000 --> 02:13:24.000
You are very relational.

2304
02:13:24.000 --> 02:13:25.000
Thank you.

2305
02:13:25.000 --> 02:13:27.000
You're welcome.

2306
02:13:27.000 --> 02:13:31.000
You all, this has been a great night. I can't believe it's 1013.

2307
02:13:31.000 --> 02:13:34.000
We went way late, but I'm so glad we did.

2308
02:13:34.000 --> 02:13:35.000
You know,

2309
02:13:35.000 --> 02:13:38.000
this was important for every single one of you that share tonight.

2310
02:13:38.000 --> 02:13:41.000
And I want for those that are still here and even those that might come

2311
02:13:41.000 --> 02:13:44.000
back and catch the end of the replay.

2312
02:13:45.000 --> 02:13:47.000
I want to say thank you to all of you.

2313
02:13:47.000 --> 02:13:49.000
I want to say thank you to all of you.

2314
02:13:49.000 --> 02:13:52.000
I know each one of you have been so brave tonight and your stories

2315
02:13:52.000 --> 02:13:56.000
matter to us.

2316
02:13:56.000 --> 02:13:59.000
And I hope that even when I am saying things like we got to own our

2317
02:13:59.000 --> 02:14:00.000
side of the street, that, you know,

2318
02:14:00.000 --> 02:14:03.000
I'm saying those things to you and absolute love.

2319
02:14:03.000 --> 02:14:06.000
And respect. And I hope that in the days to come,

2320
02:14:06.000 --> 02:14:08.000
you sense more of God's love for you.

2321
02:14:08.000 --> 02:14:10.000
And so let me pray a salad. I want to pray for Vincent.

2322
02:14:10.000 --> 02:14:12.000
So we don't forget about that as well. Super important.

2323
02:14:13.000 --> 02:14:15.000
I want to pray for those of you who are listening right now.

2324
02:14:15.000 --> 02:14:17.000
We thank you for the love you are showing us in the word,

2325
02:14:17.000 --> 02:14:20.000
the tension, the growth.

2326
02:14:20.000 --> 02:14:22.000
God, thank you for revealing for healing that happened tonight,

2327
02:14:22.000 --> 02:14:24.000
as well as those that will happen in the days to come.

2328
02:14:24.000 --> 02:14:25.000
Thank you for.

2329
02:14:25.000 --> 02:14:27.000
Yeah.

2330
02:14:27.000 --> 02:14:29.000
Opening our hearts to hear what your spirit is saying.

2331
02:14:29.000 --> 02:14:33.000
Thank you for helping us to let the walls down.

2332
02:14:33.000 --> 02:14:37.000
To letter take our do not enter signs down and let you in father.

2333
02:14:37.000 --> 02:14:40.000
Yes, Lord, we thank you, Jesus, that you call us your friends.

2334
02:14:40.000 --> 02:14:41.000
We thank you.

2335
02:14:41.000 --> 02:14:43.000
More and more and more in the days to come and Holy spirit,

2336
02:14:43.000 --> 02:14:46.000
that you'll help them to remember that you're their comforter.

2337
02:14:46.000 --> 02:14:47.000
You're their counselor.

2338
02:14:47.000 --> 02:14:51.000
You're their guide. You're that ever present help in time of trouble.

2339
02:14:51.000 --> 02:14:53.000
Got to thank you for redeeming our minds,

2340
02:14:53.000 --> 02:14:57.000
restoring and rebuilding all of the broken and fallen places that you

2341
02:14:57.000 --> 02:14:59.000
would help us to recognize.

2342
02:15:00.000 --> 02:15:05.680
your truth and cling to that. Lord, we lift up Vincent tonight. Father, we just ask you to

2343
02:15:05.680 --> 02:15:12.320
continue to minister to him physically in every area that he has need. We just declare, yes,

2344
02:15:12.320 --> 02:15:16.880
Lord, resurrection power, the same power that rose Jesus from the dead, that it would continue

2345
02:15:16.880 --> 02:15:24.240
to operate in his body. God, that you would continue to, Lord, minister to every, I just

2346
02:15:24.240 --> 02:15:29.360
keep hearing every spot, every area where there is anything that there's a concern,

2347
02:15:29.360 --> 02:15:36.000
God, that you would just go to that area and say, peace, be still and wholeness and healing and

2348
02:15:36.000 --> 02:15:42.720
life. God, we thank you that he is protected and he is covered by the blood of Jesus Christ. And

2349
02:15:42.720 --> 02:15:48.160
we plead the blood of Jesus Christ over him, declaring for his body to be whole, completely

2350
02:15:48.160 --> 02:15:55.680
whole, lacking no good thing. God, we thank you for your peace that prevails over Ruth and her

2351
02:15:55.680 --> 02:16:00.400
family. God, we thank you, God, for being with them, even in the difficult moments, helping them

2352
02:16:00.400 --> 02:16:05.760
to cling to your truth and helping them to cling to your presence and your love. And we just thank

2353
02:16:05.760 --> 02:16:12.640
you, God, that you can continue to do miracles. God, we know that you're more than able, God.

2354
02:16:12.640 --> 02:16:18.800
So we trust you, no matter what, Lord, we trust that you see all things, know all things, give the

2355
02:16:18.800 --> 02:16:24.400
doctors wisdom and discernment, help them to know exactly what needs to be done. Let their hands be

2356
02:16:24.400 --> 02:16:30.800
skilled in every procedure. And we just thank you in advance, God, that you have your son in your

2357
02:16:30.800 --> 02:16:37.520
hands tonight. And we just pray for your peace to also be with him, that you would calm his body.

2358
02:16:38.240 --> 02:16:43.600
Yes, Lord, that you would calm his body so that it can heal, that cells can regenerate.

2359
02:16:44.480 --> 02:16:51.120
Yes, Lord. Yes, Lord, we thank you for healing and bringing a wholeness, completely whole,

2360
02:16:51.120 --> 02:16:56.959
lacking no good thing to Vincent. In Jesus name. Amen. Amen. Amen. God bless you all.

2361
02:16:56.959 --> 02:17:01.840
I'll see you in the group. Have a great night, everyone. Bye.