WEBVTT

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Thank you, babe.

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All right, yes, it's my pleasure.

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Okay, so I do need some volunteers

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for Single Spotlight tomorrow.

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I know that Joel is up for it, so that's great.

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And he will be being spotlighted.

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If you've not been spotlighted yet, please consider it.

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So the very first thing that I wanna say to you guys

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is that I got a sampling of the men that are on this ARC app

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that I've been partnering with,

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this Christian dating app for Christians

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created by Christians.

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And I got a sampling.

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I was just with 20 amazing women from our community

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down in Rosemary Beach, Santa Rosa Beach area.

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And they were showing me the men that are on this app.

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And you guys, it's as if someone went down

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to community night at the prison

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and tried to get a bunch of men to sign up for a dating app.

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One dude, you can even see the bars of his prison cell

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reflected in his sunglasses on his main picture.

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And the rest of them, I mean, sloppy.

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One guy is like, his main picture, he has sunglasses on,

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and he's some kind of chef or something,

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but he just has a bloody knife in his hand and sunglasses.

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And like, as if he had just been chopping something,

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you know, like some meat or something.

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And it's like, in what universe

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did you think that this was a really good idea

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for a main dating profile picture of you

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with your sunglasses and your bloody knife?

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It almost, you guys, I almost felt like I was being punked

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while I was looking through these pictures.

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Like, there's no way that this is real.

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This can't possibly be true kind of thing.

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And so I want you to feel a discouragement

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of your female counterparts as to like what's out there.

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And I also want you to feel, you know,

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how blessed you are to not be

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in the same kind of position as these men.

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I mean, I could just take one look at these men's pictures

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and know that, first of all,

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I'm skeptical that they're believers, first off,

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because of just the unkemptness of their life

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and their bodies and their, you know,

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just their profiles just in general.

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And then secondly, like, you know,

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this is kind of like the bare minimum

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that's being shown by these men already in their profiles,

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not just their pictures,

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but also the things that are listed there.

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And you guys are like unicorns in a world like that, right?

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Where women feel like they're swiping on, you know,

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men that just are not taking care of themselves

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or their, you know, their spiritual life,

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their physical life, their financial life,

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you know, and some of the other things.

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And, you know, I want you to tell you something about women

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that as awful as some of those pictures were,

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there are beautiful, amazing women in our community

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that would still give a guy a chance,

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justify, well, you know, maybe it was a bad day

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or maybe it's just a bad picture.

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He's not representing himself well,

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but maybe this is not just really what he's like

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or how he is because that's what women do.

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We've been created,

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part of the divine feminine is to see the potential.

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The word nurturer actually means

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to see the potential in something

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and help it to become what it could be.

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And so whatever is keeping you guys

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from being able to go forward into partnering

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with one of these amazing daughters of God

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that are out there basically waiting for you to show up

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so that they can partner with you.

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Yeah, they're living their lives.

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They're doing the best that they can in so many areas,

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but we cannot deny that woman was created for man.

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We are easers.

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And for the ones that are called to marriage and family,

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they just don't feel complete without that.

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They just don't.

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They're waiting to partner with a son of God.

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That's what they're waiting for.

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So let's talk about some of your dating questions,

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where you might be stuck,

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why you might not be out there

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or actively meeting someone where you feel like

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you need a little bit of a push in the right direction.

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And I wanna start this out,

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this conversation out by talking about a scripture

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that was the precursor to David's fall with Bathsheba.

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Okay, the beginning of that story starts with a scripture

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that says, in the springtime when the kings go to war.

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Okay, that's how that scripture starts.

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In the spring, when the kings go to war.

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were.

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But David was a king.

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He was actually one of the main kings of that time, and it was the time of war, the spring,

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when the kings go to war, and there was a reason for that, you guys.

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It's about the wet season and a whole bunch of territorial things that happen in the spring.

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So the spring is when the kings go to war, but David didn't.

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He stayed behind, didn't he?

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So what God showed me when I was on this women's retreat is that a lot of his sons are out

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of alignment, and we see that when David wasn't in alignment with his purpose and his position,

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when he wasn't kind of where he should be when he should be there, he was tempted beyond

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his ability to escape that temptation, right?

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And so he ended up in a big mess that started with lust, started with apathy.

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The story starts with David being older in years.

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He's not a young king.

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He's been king for a while.

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And so what he's doing is he's now abdicating his authority by delegating it to someone

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else.

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This is the only time that we see David not with his armies at war when the kings go to

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war.

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He was behind.

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He stayed behind.

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That means that Joab or someone else was delegated the authority to lead his armies, not him

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himself.

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And there could be a host of reasons.

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The Bible doesn't explain why David didn't go, but we could kind of insinuate if we want

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to that he was older, you know, he'd already been there, done that, didn't want to do it,

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was kind of stuck in the comfortability of being a king and the luxury and the lushness

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of that life.

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And just like, yeah, you know, God is with us, send these other people out to do this.

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For whatever reason, he wasn't where he should have been, where the anointing was upon him

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instead, he was basically in a snare and trap of the enemy that he fell to.

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And so I want you to, and I'm not going to ask you questions, okay, this is some coaching

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that you can do with my husband later.

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But I want you to really consider and ponder if you have any kind of stronghold in your

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life that you keep stepping into and you keep struggling with, whether it's an addiction

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of some sort, whether it is a sin of commission or a sin of omission, there's a difference

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between those two things.

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Commission means that, you know, you're willfully and rebelliously committing that sin.

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You know, you're doing it to fill some sort of God-shaped hole inside of yourself.

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And instead of being in repentance and turning toward God and his ways of filling that void,

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you're out there commissioning sin in your own life.

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And then there's omission where like, you know, of apathy, of us not being focused,

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of us advocating some of our kingdom authority in our lives.

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And so it's sins of omission.

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We're not purposefully and willfully doing it, but it's happening as a byproduct of some

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other type of heartwound.

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Does that make sense to everybody?

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Okay.

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So I want you to prayerfully consider, you know, if you have something where you keep

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doing things like Paul says, doing things that I don't want to do, the things I should

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do, I don't, and the things that I don't want to do, I do.

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Like if you're some area where you continue to find yourself lacking and falling into

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sin perhaps, it could be pornography.

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It doesn't have to be.

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All of you are red-blooded men with sex drives and no outlet for them because you're all

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single and not married.

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And so that's definitely going to be an area of temptation when it comes to sex and lust

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and all those things.

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But it could be other things.

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It could be, you know, gluttonous or, you know, and that doesn't just mean food.

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That could be like, you know, consuming media, consuming content, greedy, never getting enough,

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you know, always fat and sassy on things that make you feel full and your spiritual life

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is lacking.

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It could be anything and everything.

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But I want you to prayerfully consider that scripture in the spring, in the season, in

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the time when the kings went to war, David stayed behind.

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And all the things that happened as a result of that and prayerfully considering are the

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things happening in your life because you're actually not where you should be, not doing

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what it is that God's called you to do?

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Are you not in a position of purpose?

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Because when we're not in purpose, I used to have this pastor that says that there's

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protection and provision when you are all, you know, working the vision.

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When you're God's vision for you, the protection and the provision come when you're in the

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vision that God has for your life.

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And we're all at different degrees of going towards the vision.

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I get that.

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But I want you to prayerfully consider if some of the battles that you've been battling

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and some of the battles that you've been losing, is it possible that it is because

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you are out of alignment, okay? I feel like that was the main message on my

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heart for you guys tonight before we just start kind of taking some Q&A about

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dating because you see that it started with David staying behind and then it

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ended with murder, right? It's kind of a big jump, isn't it? And so if you feel

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like God could be talking to you about you don't know what your purpose is, you

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don't even know where you should be, you know that you're out of alignment but

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you don't even know what alignment looks like. And I taught about this on

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Supernatural Saturday. I said, God, it says that we make our plans but God

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orders our steps. And then I heard David taught a fire message about what do you

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want last night. I wasn't there, I didn't get to hear it, but building on that

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Supernatural Saturday. So basically what that means is that God can't order our

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steps. He can't, you know, basically navigate a parked car. We have to make

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the plan, that's putting the car into gear, and then God will navigate us. He

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will order our steps. But our steps can't be ordered. So if you're like, yeah

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Jackie, I do feel like I'm out of alignment but I don't know what

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alignment looks like, well then you have to answer the question that my husband

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posed last night. What do you want? You got to get honest with yourself. Not

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about what you should want, what do you want? What do you want? Some of you are

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here but you really don't even want a wife, maybe. You're not to a place where

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you have that desire. I went ring shopping with my son tonight, he's

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getting engaged in September. I went with him, we have a family diamond that's been

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handed down through our family that has been given to him. And we went looking

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for a setting today, we found one, it was great. And on the way home he was really

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sharing with me, him and his girlfriend have been together for a year. You guys,

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he's about to turn 30, so it's not like he's 21, he's about to turn 30. His first

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girlfriend he's ever had, and he was talking about the struggle to, you know,

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not get involved sexually with each other. This is coming from a kid that

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just about five years ago I said, hey are you gay? You can tell me if you're

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struggling with being a homosexual or homosexual ideas because he had never

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really been attracted to any girl ever. And so now he's telling me that he's

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struggling with, you know, wanting to be intimate sexually with his, you know,

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current girlfriend. I'm like, yes! Because the struggle is real and it should be

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there at some level. But he said to me, he said, mom it's such a huge leap

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from just a year ago, he said, where I wasn't even sure I was sexually

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attracted to her. And I said, yeah honey, I said, because you're the kind of

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attachment style, he has an avoidant attachment style like his mom, me, that

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you're the kind of attachment style where your heart has to really feel safe

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before your body is gonna want to get involved.

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Even men, you guys. I know we always talk about men being the ones that they don't

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care, you know. The kids in high school called it hump them and dump them. That's

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what the high school kids would used to say about these guys who were not

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emotionally connected but were ready to have sex. They weren't emotionally

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available but they'd have sex with you and then dump you afterwards. I know that

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we think that, you know, avoidant men look like that but honestly most people that

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are men that are struggling with not being able to trust and let someone in,

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they actually aren't doing that. In fact, they see sexual intimacy as a promise

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they can't keep. And so especially believer men that

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struggle with avoidant attachment, as soon as something starts to become a

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little heated physically, that is when they'll get out of the situation and

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start finding the ics. They'll start finding something wrong with this woman

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who, that pours water on their sexual attraction so that, or their

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infatuation so that they can move on. Guys hear what I'm saying? That's

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important information for some of you. So my son saying that, you know, he's

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made this huge leap from a year ago to this. He let it be a yes until it's a no

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because I'm his mom and he listens to coaching. Didn't break up with her

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because he likes so many things about her but he just wasn't feeling that kind

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of attraction but he is now to the point where it's a struggle to stay out of

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that level of intimacy with each other. So hopefully that's helpful to someone

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tonight as well. Okay, so let's talk about, you know, once again we can't make a plan

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unless we know what we want and what we want today might not be what we want six

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months from now but we got to start somewhere.

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So, I want to see the hands of the men that in this season, not in a future season when

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you think you're perfect or you have it together, in this season, you want a partner.

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You know that it's what you want.

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And it's okay if you don't raise your hand, if you're still kind of like feeling like

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I'm not ready, I don't know.

242
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Okay.

243
00:15:25.280 --> 00:15:28.720
So, three of you guys raised your hand that you're sure about that.

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That's good.

245
00:15:29.720 --> 00:15:30.720
Okay.

246
00:15:30.720 --> 00:15:33.680
So, let's go ahead and go into some Q&A.

247
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No holds barred.

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00:15:34.680 --> 00:15:37.760
Anything you guys want to ask, talk about, David can weigh in too.

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I know he's driving, but he's here.

250
00:15:39.680 --> 00:15:43.800
So, Andy, what do you got?

251
00:15:43.800 --> 00:15:49.920
You have an update about the mail order bride website?

252
00:15:49.920 --> 00:15:53.800
I know that's not what it is, but I just wanted to laugh about that.

253
00:15:53.800 --> 00:15:54.800
I'm really happy.

254
00:15:54.880 --> 00:15:59.800
I'm going to be meeting her like July 15th is when I fly down there.

255
00:15:59.800 --> 00:16:01.040
Oh, wow.

256
00:16:01.040 --> 00:16:02.040
Yep.

257
00:16:02.040 --> 00:16:03.040
So, I'm really excited about that.

258
00:16:03.040 --> 00:16:05.040
Have you guys been talking?

259
00:16:05.040 --> 00:16:08.040
Oh, yeah, every day.

260
00:16:08.040 --> 00:16:09.040
Okay.

261
00:16:09.040 --> 00:16:12.720
She speaks good English?

262
00:16:12.720 --> 00:16:16.120
She speaks pretty decent English.

263
00:16:16.120 --> 00:16:22.120
She types better through text English than she does talking, but she still talks very

264
00:16:22.120 --> 00:16:23.120
good English.

265
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And she's been vetted out by some kind of agency.

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You know that she's real.

267
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It's not a scam, all this stuff.

268
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Yep.

269
00:16:31.120 --> 00:16:32.120
Okay.

270
00:16:32.120 --> 00:16:33.120
Good.

271
00:16:33.120 --> 00:16:34.120
All right.

272
00:16:34.120 --> 00:16:35.120
Yep.

273
00:16:35.120 --> 00:16:43.120
But what I'm actually going to talk about is that it seems that I've noticed a pattern

274
00:16:43.120 --> 00:16:44.120
that...

275
00:16:44.120 --> 00:16:52.120
So, I've always had a struggle with the sin of masturbation, and it tends to get worse

276
00:16:52.120 --> 00:16:57.120
when I'm dating someone, I've noticed about myself.

277
00:16:57.120 --> 00:17:03.120
So, I'm trying to figure out how to break out of this pattern of sin, you know?

278
00:17:03.120 --> 00:17:05.119
Well, let me talk to you about...

279
00:17:05.119 --> 00:17:06.119
Okay.

280
00:17:06.119 --> 00:17:08.119
So, all of us, you guys, we're all created to be sexual beings, obviously.

281
00:17:08.119 --> 00:17:14.119
And at certain points in our life, hormonally, sex drive is stronger.

282
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And so, Andy would be falling in that category because of his age, right?

283
00:17:18.119 --> 00:17:22.119
I think they say that men peak in their 20s sexually as far as sex drive is concerned.

284
00:17:22.119 --> 00:17:27.119
And so, he's closer to that peak age than some of you that are older.

285
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I'm not saying you don't have sex drives, and some people have higher sex drives than

286
00:17:30.120 --> 00:17:35.120
others based on, once again, on hormonal stuff, on levels of testosterone and all different

287
00:17:35.120 --> 00:17:36.120
things.

288
00:17:36.120 --> 00:17:40.120
And the reason why I think it's important to put it in scientific terms like that, because

289
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a lot of people don't understand how much attraction is chemical when it comes to physical

290
00:17:45.120 --> 00:17:46.120
attraction.

291
00:17:47.120 --> 00:17:49.120
How much of it is a chemical situation?

292
00:17:49.120 --> 00:17:55.120
Infatuation is one of those things, and infatuation is not something that you want to base a future

293
00:17:55.120 --> 00:18:01.120
marriage off of simply because infatuation will wane because it's hormonally or chemically

294
00:18:01.120 --> 00:18:02.120
based, right?

295
00:18:02.120 --> 00:18:03.120
Okay.

296
00:18:03.120 --> 00:18:04.120
And so...

297
00:18:04.120 --> 00:18:07.120
And that's why I'll have older clients be like, hey...

298
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I'm talking about men, not women.

299
00:18:08.120 --> 00:18:11.120
They'll be like, hey, you know, I really like this woman.

300
00:18:12.120 --> 00:18:19.120
Mentally, I really like her, but I'm not feeling an overwhelming physical attraction

301
00:18:19.120 --> 00:18:26.120
like I did to my first wife or this other woman that they talk about.

302
00:18:26.120 --> 00:18:30.120
And so then I'll ask them a series of questions to kind of get to the root of that, right?

303
00:18:30.120 --> 00:18:35.120
And one of the questions I ask them is, how old were you when you had this torrid love

304
00:18:36.120 --> 00:18:42.120
affair or this romance or this thing that you're basing your attraction to this person

305
00:18:42.120 --> 00:18:43.120
on?

306
00:18:43.120 --> 00:18:48.120
And a lot of times they'll cite a much younger age.

307
00:18:48.120 --> 00:18:51.120
And I know it's really unromantic of me to say this, but that's why they felt that way

308
00:18:51.120 --> 00:19:00.120
back then because their hormones were raging and they were making dopamine and serotonin

309
00:19:00.120 --> 00:19:02.120
connections, okay?

310
00:19:02.120 --> 00:19:04.120
The sex drive was much higher.

311
00:19:04.120 --> 00:19:10.120
And I know once again that that's not a romantic thing to say and kind of bursts our romantic

312
00:19:10.120 --> 00:19:14.120
bubble for some of you that are more romantics at heart.

313
00:19:14.120 --> 00:19:18.120
But this particular client that I'm thinking of, he was basing all of his connections on

314
00:19:18.120 --> 00:19:24.120
a woman that he knew when he was in his 20s and he's in his 50s now.

315
00:19:24.120 --> 00:19:29.120
His testosterone is much lower now than it ever has been, right?

316
00:19:30.120 --> 00:19:37.120
And he also had a much more idealistic vision and idea of what love and partnership look like.

317
00:19:37.120 --> 00:19:39.120
Now he's kind of old enough to know better.

318
00:19:39.120 --> 00:19:41.120
He knows that it's hard, right?

319
00:19:41.120 --> 00:19:43.120
Because he'd already been married and divorced and all the things.

320
00:19:43.120 --> 00:19:54.120
And so you guys, please don't forget that all of these things, the mental load of relationship

321
00:19:54.120 --> 00:19:58.120
as we get older and realize how much mental load it takes, how much emotional load it

322
00:19:58.120 --> 00:20:00.120
takes, you know, the physical.

323
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.640
waning hormones, all of that can play into stuff.

324
00:20:04.640 --> 00:20:10.600
So I said all that to say to Andy, to answer his question, we all have sex drives.

325
00:20:10.600 --> 00:20:14.720
You would probably have a higher sex drive than some other men in this group simply because

326
00:20:14.720 --> 00:20:16.880
of your age.

327
00:20:16.880 --> 00:20:20.120
And God created us to be sexual beings.

328
00:20:20.120 --> 00:20:22.860
So he doesn't want us to be ashamed of a sex drive.

329
00:20:22.860 --> 00:20:29.080
The problem is, is that when we introduce self-gratification, whether you're a man or

330
00:20:29.080 --> 00:20:31.960
a woman, you guys, women struggle with this too, just so you know, women masturbate as

331
00:20:31.960 --> 00:20:32.960
well.

332
00:20:32.960 --> 00:20:37.520
It's not just a man thing, especially when people are younger and hormones are really

333
00:20:37.520 --> 00:20:38.520
raging.

334
00:20:38.520 --> 00:20:39.520
Okay.

335
00:20:39.520 --> 00:20:41.680
It can actually be physically uncomfortable.

336
00:20:41.680 --> 00:20:44.000
You don't have to have looked at anything.

337
00:20:44.000 --> 00:20:46.440
It's just like your hormones are surging for whatever reason.

338
00:20:46.440 --> 00:20:47.960
For women, it's around ovulation.

339
00:20:47.960 --> 00:20:52.560
For men, it can be all different types of things that cause hormones to surge.

340
00:20:52.560 --> 00:20:58.260
I think the thing that causes the shame, not just the self-gratification, but the fantasies

341
00:20:58.260 --> 00:21:00.700
attached to the self-gratification.

342
00:21:00.700 --> 00:21:06.580
And so that is important thing to look at, Andy, when it comes to this is, first of all,

343
00:21:06.580 --> 00:21:12.460
when you have the urge to do this, it's important for you to stop and ask yourself, what did

344
00:21:12.460 --> 00:21:13.820
I look at today?

345
00:21:13.820 --> 00:21:14.820
What did I see?

346
00:21:14.820 --> 00:21:16.560
What was I thinking about?

347
00:21:16.560 --> 00:21:22.540
If you can't pinpoint any kind of catalyst for your sexual arousal, that's now demanding

348
00:21:22.540 --> 00:21:28.200
release, then it's probably just a hormone surge of some sort.

349
00:21:29.140 --> 00:21:34.040
But if you can find the catalyst, I was scrolling through Instagram and there are women in bikinis

350
00:21:34.040 --> 00:21:37.240
with all their goodies hanging out.

351
00:21:37.240 --> 00:21:44.920
I saw a woman today that was scantily dressed and I saw something about her that makes me

352
00:21:44.920 --> 00:21:47.600
specifically feel aroused.

353
00:21:47.600 --> 00:21:51.680
If you find out what it is, then you can deal with it at the root.

354
00:21:51.680 --> 00:21:56.120
Because once again, it's not the release or the self-gratification that is causing

355
00:21:56.120 --> 00:22:01.160
the shame, it is the things that lead up to it.

356
00:22:01.160 --> 00:22:03.000
Do you see what I'm saying?

357
00:22:03.000 --> 00:22:08.400
And so in order for you to get root of the fruit, you got to get to the root.

358
00:22:08.400 --> 00:22:10.480
Some of you can't be on social media.

359
00:22:10.480 --> 00:22:14.320
Unfortunately, there's tons and tons of women that are wearing clothes that they shouldn't

360
00:22:14.320 --> 00:22:19.640
be wearing or lack of clothes, more appropriately.

361
00:22:19.640 --> 00:22:22.440
And it's just a landmine for you.

362
00:22:22.440 --> 00:22:26.680
You know, you're human, stop acting like you're Superman and that, you know, this isn't kryptonite

363
00:22:26.680 --> 00:22:27.680
for men.

364
00:22:27.680 --> 00:22:30.520
Oh, well, you know, it doesn't bother me.

365
00:22:30.520 --> 00:22:31.600
Really?

366
00:22:31.600 --> 00:22:34.720
I would have to ask you why then.

367
00:22:34.720 --> 00:22:43.120
So don't get off social media, you know, delete your Instagram or different things.

368
00:22:43.120 --> 00:22:46.360
Don't use that if that's the case.

369
00:22:46.360 --> 00:22:47.680
Get control of your thought life.

370
00:22:47.720 --> 00:22:52.680
The Bible says that the Holy Spirit gives us all kinds of attributes, but one of them

371
00:22:52.680 --> 00:22:53.680
is self-control.

372
00:22:53.680 --> 00:22:57.760
One of the fruit of the spirit is self-control.

373
00:22:57.760 --> 00:23:02.360
And so and then when you do get aroused by something that you see, you know, you're probably

374
00:23:02.360 --> 00:23:07.680
going to have to once again, if masturbation brings you a huge amount of shame, there are

375
00:23:07.680 --> 00:23:09.880
a lot of people who don't think masturbation is a sin.

376
00:23:09.880 --> 00:23:12.080
I'm not going to weigh in on that either way.

377
00:23:12.080 --> 00:23:14.120
I'm going to say for some people, it's a stronghold.

378
00:23:14.120 --> 00:23:15.480
It sounds like a stronghold for you.

379
00:23:15.480 --> 00:23:20.360
It sounds like this is something you're habitually doing that's making you feel, you know, you

380
00:23:20.360 --> 00:23:21.720
know, less than.

381
00:23:21.720 --> 00:23:25.960
And because it's offending your own conscience, it's important for you to get to the root

382
00:23:25.960 --> 00:23:28.040
of what is the catalyst of it.

383
00:23:28.040 --> 00:23:34.880
And when it does happen and you are feeling like, you know, you have to do this, then

384
00:23:34.880 --> 00:23:37.680
the Bible says with every temptation, God makes a way of escape.

385
00:23:37.680 --> 00:23:44.320
So you're going to have to plug into Holy Spirit in those times and get, you know, ride

386
00:23:44.320 --> 00:23:46.000
the wave until the wave ebbs.

387
00:23:46.000 --> 00:23:48.840
That's another thing that all of you need to know with any sin.

388
00:23:48.840 --> 00:23:53.720
Once again, King David, we want to find out if we're not in alignment.

389
00:23:53.720 --> 00:23:54.720
Okay.

390
00:23:54.720 --> 00:23:58.280
And that's why we're continuing to get tempted in some areas.

391
00:23:58.280 --> 00:23:59.760
Let's find that out first and foremost.

392
00:23:59.760 --> 00:24:00.760
Okay.

393
00:24:00.760 --> 00:24:01.960
So pray into that.

394
00:24:01.960 --> 00:24:05.160
But also what God taught me about temptation, because I know it's hard to believe, but I

395
00:24:05.160 --> 00:24:10.000
used to smoke and I'm not saying that that's a sin or not a sin.

396
00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:14.800
But when I first met Jesus, when I was 22 years old, I actually smoked like, you know,

397
00:24:14.800 --> 00:24:20.000
I had been smoking for a couple of years and I didn't want to smoke anymore.

398
00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:21.400
And so I just quit cold turkey.

399
00:24:21.400 --> 00:24:23.920
I was like, I'm not going to smoke.

400
00:24:23.920 --> 00:24:28.320
And obviously you guys, that's an addiction that's physical and mental and emotional and

401
00:24:28.320 --> 00:24:30.760
psychological and so many different things.

402
00:24:30.760 --> 00:24:36.560
But what God showed me is that at the point when the temptation comes and I really, really,

403
00:24:36.560 --> 00:24:43.000
really wanted to smoke a cigarette because of stress or whatever, it would peak.

404
00:24:43.000 --> 00:24:47.520
And if I would just hold out past that crest, like a wave for those of you that understand

405
00:24:47.520 --> 00:24:53.200
surfing or you understand, you know, the wave is starting to, it's starting to grow, right?

406
00:24:53.200 --> 00:24:58.480
And then it gets to a place where it peaks and then it dissipates, doesn't it?

407
00:24:58.480 --> 00:24:59.880
And so same thing with temptation.

408
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.280
can get past the peak where it's the strongest and it's the hardest,

409
00:25:04.280 --> 00:25:06.600
but most people that is when they give up.

410
00:25:07.800 --> 00:25:12.080
But if you just are able to hold on a little bit longer, it's going to,

411
00:25:12.280 --> 00:25:13.160
it's going to ebb.

412
00:25:14.960 --> 00:25:18.560
If you don't give in when the, when the urge is the strongest,

413
00:25:18.560 --> 00:25:21.680
whatever it is, it will dissipate.

414
00:25:22.080 --> 00:25:24.560
I'm not saying there's not going to another wave that's going to come again,

415
00:25:24.560 --> 00:25:25.600
some other time,

416
00:25:26.080 --> 00:25:30.280
but you actually end up riding the waves instead of giving into them.

417
00:25:31.720 --> 00:25:34.080
Okay. And I successfully, you know,

418
00:25:34.800 --> 00:25:39.800
have not smoked in like 30 years and I'm not sad about it.

419
00:25:42.000 --> 00:25:45.480
And I obviously don't have any desire at all to do that. So,

420
00:25:45.720 --> 00:25:48.560
so Andy find out where the catalyst is coming from.

421
00:25:49.640 --> 00:25:53.160
That means you have to be very self-aware in the moment when you're really,

422
00:25:53.400 --> 00:25:56.360
really wanting to do that. What did I see today?

423
00:25:56.360 --> 00:26:00.760
What was I thinking about today? What was happening today? Okay.

424
00:26:01.200 --> 00:26:05.520
And then know that those are triggers for you and you can't do that stuff. Okay.

425
00:26:05.520 --> 00:26:06.680
At the season of your life,

426
00:26:06.720 --> 00:26:11.720
you can't handle that and then ride the wave instead of giving into it.

427
00:26:12.560 --> 00:26:14.880
Remember the scripture that says with every temptation,

428
00:26:14.880 --> 00:26:19.080
God makes a way of escape because whether or not anyone here thinks masturbation

429
00:26:19.080 --> 00:26:23.480
is a sin or not, fantasy is probably the part where the sin comes in.

430
00:26:23.680 --> 00:26:27.800
Okay. But you're offended by it.

431
00:26:28.560 --> 00:26:30.200
Your conscience is offended by it.

432
00:26:30.200 --> 00:26:35.200
So it's obviously not a thing that you can do without increasing shame.

433
00:26:35.800 --> 00:26:39.920
Okay. And so try those two things and see what happens. Okay.

434
00:26:40.880 --> 00:26:43.480
Great. Sounds good. Yeah. All right. James.

435
00:26:44.480 --> 00:26:49.480
Yeah. I was just wondering if you feel like a region matters,

436
00:26:49.480 --> 00:26:52.240
like where you live or where somebody lives.

437
00:26:52.240 --> 00:26:57.000
Like I know that for 16 years I spent time in Santa Monica, California,

438
00:26:57.000 --> 00:27:02.000
and I like was like very much living in like the forever single zone of like the

439
00:27:03.000 --> 00:27:05.800
United States and lost in that.

440
00:27:06.800 --> 00:27:10.040
And now I'm back in Nashville working on a project that ends in a month.

441
00:27:10.040 --> 00:27:14.040
And here it's like all my friends I went to college with are like married.

442
00:27:14.600 --> 00:27:18.080
The church groups don't have single group. Everyone's doing pretty good.

443
00:27:18.080 --> 00:27:23.080
You know? And I feel like I missed like 15 years of just living in, you know,

444
00:27:23.400 --> 00:27:25.000
like La La land.

445
00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:28.680
And now I'm getting transferred to like Austin, Texas.

446
00:27:29.120 --> 00:27:34.120
And when I live or my brothers lived there for 25 years and it used to be this

447
00:27:34.120 --> 00:27:37.360
teeny little town. Now it's like a cool town or whatever,

448
00:27:37.360 --> 00:27:41.080
but I'm kind of like wondering if does that matter where you live in terms of

449
00:27:41.080 --> 00:27:44.680
like culture with dating? Sure. How old are you, James?

450
00:27:46.280 --> 00:27:50.280
I'm 45 and you're for sure getting transferred to Austin.

451
00:27:50.800 --> 00:27:54.000
Yeah. I'm getting transferred like July 15th. Okay.

452
00:27:55.240 --> 00:27:59.000
Cause I know a great girl in that area that I'd love to introduce you to how

453
00:27:59.000 --> 00:28:02.920
we were living. And she's actually in Nashville right now visiting.

454
00:28:02.920 --> 00:28:05.600
So you could actually meet her right now. But,

455
00:28:05.640 --> 00:28:09.080
the thing is, is that I the, the answer is yes and no.

456
00:28:09.840 --> 00:28:14.160
I've seen people meet people everywhere, even though you're right.

457
00:28:14.160 --> 00:28:19.160
You are kind of in a dating no fly zone and people are focused on a lot of

458
00:28:20.200 --> 00:28:22.280
different, very materialistic things where you live.

459
00:28:22.280 --> 00:28:27.160
There's a lot of strongholds and principalities, so to speak of, you know,

460
00:28:27.160 --> 00:28:31.200
women and men are just different out there. There's a lot of homosexuality.

461
00:28:31.200 --> 00:28:33.080
There's also a lot of, you know,

462
00:28:33.080 --> 00:28:36.800
the bad kind of feminism. There's all different types of things. So yes.

463
00:28:37.360 --> 00:28:42.160
So the answer to your question is yes. And also God can do anything.

464
00:28:42.640 --> 00:28:45.920
So I've seen people in those areas meet people.

465
00:28:45.920 --> 00:28:47.480
I don't think that you've wasted your time.

466
00:28:47.480 --> 00:28:50.200
I think you're at an amazing age to get married.

467
00:28:51.200 --> 00:28:54.120
Hopefully you've learned a bunch of things in your life up till now that will

468
00:28:54.120 --> 00:28:55.880
cause you to be a great husband and father.

469
00:28:55.880 --> 00:28:59.840
And I think that you're just in a sweet spot of getting married.

470
00:28:59.880 --> 00:29:02.480
It's a different dynamic when people get married really young.

471
00:29:02.840 --> 00:29:06.840
I think that most people in millennial and exennial groups,

472
00:29:06.840 --> 00:29:07.720
they didn't get married.

473
00:29:07.720 --> 00:29:12.680
In fact, millennials are about 59% single right now and exennial,

474
00:29:12.680 --> 00:29:16.480
which is that younger, younger Gen X that's on the cusp of millennials,

475
00:29:16.480 --> 00:29:17.480
which is what you are.

476
00:29:17.480 --> 00:29:22.480
They also kind of missed out regardless of where they live.

477
00:29:22.480 --> 00:29:25.280
Your age group is a lot younger than your age group.

478
00:29:25.280 --> 00:29:28.280
So I think that you're at an amazing age to get married.

479
00:29:28.520 --> 00:29:31.080
I think that most people in millennial and extension,

480
00:29:31.080 --> 00:29:33.960
it's a different dynamic when people get married regardless of where they live.

481
00:29:33.960 --> 00:29:37.880
Your age group is single. A lot of them are, but like you said,

482
00:29:38.360 --> 00:29:41.840
the people that you went to college with that went and stayed in places like

483
00:29:41.840 --> 00:29:44.040
Nashville. They're all married. Cause they lived in the Bible belt.

484
00:29:45.040 --> 00:29:48.960
And they went to spiritual communities where that's all people were focused on.

485
00:29:49.680 --> 00:29:53.480
And so it's, so once again, it's yes and it's no.

486
00:29:53.480 --> 00:29:59.280
To that beautiful girl that is in Nashville right now and also

487
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:03.840
lives in, she kind of lives in WeHo.

488
00:30:03.840 --> 00:30:06.680
She's kind of in that West Hollywood,

489
00:30:06.680 --> 00:30:09.040
Santa Monica kind of area.

490
00:30:09.040 --> 00:30:11.000
I don't think that she'll be relocating

491
00:30:11.000 --> 00:30:13.320
because she is actually a working actress.

492
00:30:13.320 --> 00:30:16.400
If I said her name, you guys would all look her up

493
00:30:16.400 --> 00:30:19.460
and you'd be like, oh, I recognize her from somewhere,

494
00:30:19.460 --> 00:30:20.600
from some movie.

495
00:30:20.600 --> 00:30:24.420
But I don't think that she would be moving to Austin.

496
00:30:24.420 --> 00:30:26.660
But good news is we're in Austin

497
00:30:26.660 --> 00:30:29.180
and there's lots of amazing women here in Austin.

498
00:30:29.220 --> 00:30:31.940
And the chances of you staying single when you move here

499
00:30:31.940 --> 00:30:33.320
are pretty slim to none.

500
00:30:34.380 --> 00:30:36.420
Are there like good, I want to ask David,

501
00:30:36.420 --> 00:30:38.420
are there like good men's groups in Austin?

502
00:30:38.420 --> 00:30:40.200
Cause I have like a really good one here

503
00:30:40.200 --> 00:30:42.300
and I feel like that's the only thing

504
00:30:42.300 --> 00:30:45.600
that's keeping my heart here is just like that connection.

505
00:30:46.500 --> 00:30:49.420
When you say here, do you mean Nashville or Santa Monica?

506
00:30:49.420 --> 00:30:51.100
In Nashville, yeah.

507
00:30:51.100 --> 00:30:51.940
Okay.

508
00:30:55.980 --> 00:30:56.820
David.

509
00:30:57.820 --> 00:31:00.420
Hi there.

510
00:31:00.420 --> 00:31:02.580
As far as men's groups in Austin,

511
00:31:03.900 --> 00:31:06.180
I know there are a few good churches.

512
00:31:06.180 --> 00:31:08.940
We know several good churches in the area

513
00:31:08.940 --> 00:31:12.020
that we're connected with because we know the leadership,

514
00:31:12.020 --> 00:31:13.980
we're friends with the pastors and that.

515
00:31:13.980 --> 00:31:16.960
So there's a lot of good little,

516
00:31:18.020 --> 00:31:21.460
there's a couple of good men's groups in specific churches.

517
00:31:22.580 --> 00:31:25.380
Is the one that you're familiar with connected to a church

518
00:31:25.380 --> 00:31:28.600
or is it connected to organized in another way?

519
00:31:29.420 --> 00:31:31.940
It's through a church called Long Hollow

520
00:31:31.940 --> 00:31:34.980
here in Nashville area.

521
00:31:34.980 --> 00:31:36.340
Yeah.

522
00:31:36.340 --> 00:31:39.980
Yeah, I would definitely say there are several

523
00:31:39.980 --> 00:31:43.240
good men's groups that are connected with churches.

524
00:31:45.080 --> 00:31:47.460
There's a man that I know of that's an associate pastor

525
00:31:47.460 --> 00:31:49.820
of a church that's nearby where we live

526
00:31:49.820 --> 00:31:51.740
that has a really good men's group.

527
00:31:51.740 --> 00:31:55.460
Now, those tend to have different cultural flavors

528
00:31:55.460 --> 00:31:57.140
as you go from place to place,

529
00:31:57.140 --> 00:32:01.300
in terms of what this group is interested in.

530
00:32:01.300 --> 00:32:05.540
So lots of times men connect on things that are like,

531
00:32:05.540 --> 00:32:07.620
hey, what interest level,

532
00:32:09.180 --> 00:32:14.100
life experience, season experience of life.

533
00:32:14.100 --> 00:32:16.740
So it depends on what you're looking for

534
00:32:16.740 --> 00:32:18.780
is that type of connection.

535
00:32:18.780 --> 00:32:20.700
But I think there are several

536
00:32:20.700 --> 00:32:22.860
that you'd probably be getting interested in.

537
00:32:22.860 --> 00:32:23.940
What is it you like?

538
00:32:23.940 --> 00:32:26.380
I guess the question is what do you like

539
00:32:26.380 --> 00:32:30.420
about the men's group that you're a part of?

540
00:32:30.420 --> 00:32:32.340
Yeah, what do you like about it?

541
00:32:32.340 --> 00:32:34.300
You know, we're in the word all the time

542
00:32:34.300 --> 00:32:37.180
and like we watch the NBA finals together,

543
00:32:37.180 --> 00:32:38.940
like we do bonfires.

544
00:32:38.940 --> 00:32:42.340
It's not like stuffy, it's really attractive.

545
00:32:42.340 --> 00:32:45.180
Like Sunday, I got a 19 year old kid

546
00:32:45.180 --> 00:32:47.140
to like come in and like join us.

547
00:32:47.140 --> 00:32:49.140
So it's like, we're like moving,

548
00:32:49.140 --> 00:32:51.140
it's not like we're just sitting there

549
00:32:51.140 --> 00:32:52.780
talking about our lives or whatever.

550
00:32:52.780 --> 00:32:55.420
It's like, we're actually in the work, you know?

551
00:32:55.420 --> 00:32:56.260
I love that.

552
00:32:58.100 --> 00:33:00.780
Yeah, there's a couple guys that, you know, have some stuff.

553
00:33:00.780 --> 00:33:03.180
I'm thinking of Sean, David, Minix,

554
00:33:03.180 --> 00:33:06.620
and there's definitely some dudes here

555
00:33:06.620 --> 00:33:08.700
that have a heart for what you're talking about.

556
00:33:08.700 --> 00:33:11.620
And they've, you know, they gather men, they do stuff.

557
00:33:11.620 --> 00:33:14.660
I'm thinking of David Fenwick, David Fenwick.

558
00:33:14.660 --> 00:33:17.060
Yeah, to answer your question, yes, there are.

559
00:33:18.020 --> 00:33:21.140
Cool, can I leave my number in the chat or something

560
00:33:21.140 --> 00:33:22.220
or what works best?

561
00:33:23.780 --> 00:33:25.060
For what thing?

562
00:33:26.180 --> 00:33:28.660
Just so David could send me a contact or something,

563
00:33:28.660 --> 00:33:29.500
I guess what works.

564
00:33:29.500 --> 00:33:30.340
Oh, yeah, yeah.

565
00:33:31.780 --> 00:33:34.580
Probably just, yeah, if you want to put it in the chat,

566
00:33:34.580 --> 00:33:36.380
David, you're here, you can grab it.

567
00:33:37.500 --> 00:33:39.940
I think the best way to do is,

568
00:33:39.940 --> 00:33:42.140
James, just go ahead and send me an email.

569
00:33:42.140 --> 00:33:42.980
Yeah.

570
00:33:42.980 --> 00:33:43.820
I shared my email with this group before.

571
00:33:44.180 --> 00:33:49.180
So it's just David at JaneMedia.org.

572
00:33:50.780 --> 00:33:52.180
Okay, awesome, thank you.

573
00:33:52.180 --> 00:33:56.260
And are you ready to be spotlighted yet, James?

574
00:33:56.260 --> 00:33:57.100
Sorry?

575
00:33:57.100 --> 00:33:58.900
Are you ready to be spotlighted yet?

576
00:34:01.220 --> 00:34:04.180
I've watched that, but I don't know what I would even do.

577
00:34:04.180 --> 00:34:05.460
I don't know.

578
00:34:05.460 --> 00:34:06.820
I mean, you just, you know,

579
00:34:06.820 --> 00:34:08.860
I ask you a few basic questions about yourself

580
00:34:08.860 --> 00:34:10.300
and then it's over.

581
00:34:10.300 --> 00:34:12.380
It's where you have to become really vulnerable

582
00:34:12.380 --> 00:34:13.659
for 30 straight minutes

583
00:34:13.659 --> 00:34:15.860
and you have to be like, tell all of your friends.

584
00:34:15.860 --> 00:34:17.699
My sister already got me to do this already,

585
00:34:17.699 --> 00:34:19.020
so it'd be like a stretch.

586
00:34:20.179 --> 00:34:22.020
I'm open to it, yeah.

587
00:34:22.020 --> 00:34:24.260
Okay, yes.

588
00:34:24.260 --> 00:34:26.739
Joel's finally open to it too,

589
00:34:26.739 --> 00:34:28.780
so he's ready and it's going to be great.

590
00:34:29.739 --> 00:34:31.340
You guys, it's very painless with me.

591
00:34:31.340 --> 00:34:35.580
You guys know that I'm going to make it easy for you.

592
00:34:35.580 --> 00:34:37.020
So it's going to be great.

593
00:34:38.420 --> 00:34:41.139
That's tomorrow night, 8 p.m. Eastern.

594
00:34:41.460 --> 00:34:43.020
You guys don't have to stay the whole time.

595
00:34:43.020 --> 00:34:45.699
As soon as you're interviewed, you can leave if you want.

596
00:34:45.699 --> 00:34:48.340
And your little portion of it

597
00:34:48.340 --> 00:34:51.980
will be 10 minutes long at the most, so.

598
00:34:52.980 --> 00:34:55.139
And then the women just reach out to us

599
00:34:55.139 --> 00:34:56.739
if they want to know more about you

600
00:34:56.739 --> 00:34:59.740
or they think that they'd like to meet you.

601
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.600
and we facilitate those intros.

602
00:35:02.600 --> 00:35:03.760
And we're very, you guys,

603
00:35:03.760 --> 00:35:06.540
we screen those intros really well.

604
00:35:06.540 --> 00:35:09.240
If we don't think that that's what you're looking for,

605
00:35:09.240 --> 00:35:10.280
like Joel, for instance,

606
00:35:10.280 --> 00:35:11.960
I think you said that you really wanna meet

607
00:35:11.960 --> 00:35:12.920
someone local right now.

608
00:35:12.920 --> 00:35:14.520
You don't have the bandwidth for long distance.

609
00:35:14.520 --> 00:35:18.000
So Florida is what is, you know, your boundary.

610
00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:20.220
Yeah, basically Florida,

611
00:35:20.220 --> 00:35:24.560
cause I mean, it doesn't have to be in my city,

612
00:35:24.560 --> 00:35:26.720
but I'm in the Southwest corner,

613
00:35:26.720 --> 00:35:28.080
so almost the Everglades.

614
00:35:28.080 --> 00:35:30.840
So like Pensacola is like nine hours drive

615
00:35:30.840 --> 00:35:32.660
and Jacksonville is like six hour drive.

616
00:35:32.660 --> 00:35:35.960
So I figured kind of limit it to Florida.

617
00:35:35.960 --> 00:35:39.160
That might be a, you know, better idea.

618
00:35:39.160 --> 00:35:41.400
Florida is huge, just like Texas.

619
00:35:41.400 --> 00:35:43.240
Takes forever to get through Florida.

620
00:35:44.800 --> 00:35:46.640
Yeah, okay.

621
00:35:46.640 --> 00:35:48.160
Now, yeah, that's smart.

622
00:35:48.160 --> 00:35:49.040
I think so.

623
00:35:50.120 --> 00:35:51.940
So what city are you closest to?

624
00:35:53.080 --> 00:35:55.360
So I am in Fort Myers.

625
00:35:55.360 --> 00:36:00.000
So Naples is right South of me.

626
00:36:01.640 --> 00:36:03.640
Sarasota is like two hours.

627
00:36:03.640 --> 00:36:08.400
Tampa is like two and a half, three hours.

628
00:36:08.400 --> 00:36:11.020
Okay, we have a lot of community in the cities

629
00:36:11.020 --> 00:36:12.080
that you've already mentioned.

630
00:36:12.080 --> 00:36:15.920
And our Master Heart Work Coach,

631
00:36:15.920 --> 00:36:17.800
Bethany Cooper and her husband, Brian,

632
00:36:17.800 --> 00:36:19.920
who does some stuff with our men's group,

633
00:36:19.920 --> 00:36:22.120
their pastor's in Fort Meyer.

634
00:36:22.120 --> 00:36:23.720
Oh, okay, okay, great.

635
00:36:23.720 --> 00:36:25.240
So they're in Fort Meyer as well.

636
00:36:26.120 --> 00:36:26.960
So in fact, I think we're gonna be

637
00:36:26.960 --> 00:36:28.040
having a retreat there soon.

638
00:36:28.040 --> 00:36:30.520
So, yeah, perfect.

639
00:36:30.520 --> 00:36:31.660
Okay, that's awesome.

640
00:36:32.760 --> 00:36:35.520
All right, so you're gonna be there tomorrow, James.

641
00:36:35.520 --> 00:36:38.260
No pressure, but I'd love for you to be spotlighted as well.

642
00:36:38.260 --> 00:36:40.560
And anyone else who hasn't been yet.

643
00:36:41.840 --> 00:36:44.240
Joshua, have you been, or are you just not ready for that?

644
00:36:44.240 --> 00:36:46.880
He's like, I knew you were gonna say my name, Jackie.

645
00:36:46.880 --> 00:36:47.840
What are we doing?

646
00:36:49.720 --> 00:36:52.040
I guess that's, but listen, once again,

647
00:36:52.040 --> 00:36:54.240
you need to ask yourself the question.

648
00:36:55.240 --> 00:36:56.640
What do I want?

649
00:36:56.640 --> 00:36:58.560
And whatever that answer is,

650
00:36:58.560 --> 00:37:01.480
then we need to start making a plan around that

651
00:37:01.480 --> 00:37:05.200
so that God can accelerate it and order our steps.

652
00:37:05.200 --> 00:37:06.800
That's important.

653
00:37:06.800 --> 00:37:09.080
Okay, what other questions do we have, you guys?

654
00:37:09.080 --> 00:37:10.680
I told you the experience I had

655
00:37:10.680 --> 00:37:12.360
with that new Christian dating app

656
00:37:12.360 --> 00:37:16.480
and the level and quality caliber of men on there.

657
00:37:20.520 --> 00:37:23.000
I actually am about to be interviewed by a reporter

658
00:37:23.000 --> 00:37:26.440
about the fact that the gold digging era is over

659
00:37:26.440 --> 00:37:29.260
and that women really are looking for men

660
00:37:29.260 --> 00:37:30.960
that are more down to earth,

661
00:37:30.960 --> 00:37:32.840
that even are more blue collar.

662
00:37:32.840 --> 00:37:35.960
If that is what it takes to get a man

663
00:37:35.960 --> 00:37:37.680
with old fashioned morals and values,

664
00:37:37.680 --> 00:37:39.260
you're like, they're not looking for men

665
00:37:39.260 --> 00:37:44.260
with white collar jobs that are gone all the time

666
00:37:44.520 --> 00:37:45.880
and don't have the bandwidth

667
00:37:45.880 --> 00:37:49.320
because they're so stressed out mentally

668
00:37:49.320 --> 00:37:52.240
to be able to have relationship at home.

669
00:37:53.280 --> 00:37:55.900
Women are not interested in that anymore,

670
00:37:55.900 --> 00:37:57.600
except for the ones that are gold diggers.

671
00:37:57.600 --> 00:37:59.760
So, and those women don't want you

672
00:37:59.760 --> 00:38:02.000
for any other reason than your money, right?

673
00:38:02.000 --> 00:38:04.360
But that era is kind of ending

674
00:38:04.360 --> 00:38:09.080
and being unpopularized by the idea

675
00:38:09.080 --> 00:38:12.640
of actually being married to someone that you get to see

676
00:38:13.800 --> 00:38:17.000
and that a whole bunch of other women aren't gunning for

677
00:38:17.000 --> 00:38:18.720
because they want his money.

678
00:38:18.720 --> 00:38:20.200
All the transactional women

679
00:38:20.200 --> 00:38:24.560
are trying to seduce your white collar husband

680
00:38:24.560 --> 00:38:26.400
who's on business trips all the time

681
00:38:26.400 --> 00:38:28.240
because they want his money

682
00:38:28.240 --> 00:38:30.940
and women are just not into that anymore.

683
00:38:30.940 --> 00:38:33.280
They want men that have jobs

684
00:38:33.280 --> 00:38:34.400
that they can leave at the office

685
00:38:34.400 --> 00:38:36.240
and come home and be with the family.

686
00:38:38.600 --> 00:38:43.000
So, just thought I'd put that out there for y'all.

687
00:38:49.140 --> 00:38:49.980
Any questions?

688
00:38:50.740 --> 00:38:51.580
David's here as well.

689
00:38:51.580 --> 00:38:52.940
If you guys want to just talk to him.

690
00:38:52.940 --> 00:38:56.080
Babe, are you to your destination yet?

691
00:38:58.060 --> 00:38:59.600
Not even close.

692
00:39:01.020 --> 00:39:03.300
California traffic, got to love it.

693
00:39:03.300 --> 00:39:06.100
Yes, you know what?

694
00:39:06.100 --> 00:39:09.180
Yes, James is not going to miss that.

695
00:39:09.180 --> 00:39:13.020
I will tell you that Austin is a little better

696
00:39:13.020 --> 00:39:14.860
but the traffic's pretty bad.

697
00:39:17.540 --> 00:39:19.220
That's not this bad.

698
00:39:19.220 --> 00:39:21.260
It's not, it's a little better.

699
00:39:21.260 --> 00:39:24.280
I'm just curious, is anyone in South Carolina?

700
00:39:25.260 --> 00:39:27.420
Is there anyone in South Carolina?

701
00:39:27.420 --> 00:39:28.260
Yeah.

702
00:39:28.260 --> 00:39:30.620
Yeah. Part of this community, yeah.

703
00:39:30.620 --> 00:39:33.340
Because I'm actually going to be going on a business trip

704
00:39:33.340 --> 00:39:38.340
down there in the beginning of August.

705
00:39:39.460 --> 00:39:40.580
Okay.

706
00:39:40.580 --> 00:39:41.420
Yeah.

707
00:39:41.420 --> 00:39:44.080
Well, keep us posted

708
00:39:44.080 --> 00:39:47.580
and you can connect with the single city that's there

709
00:39:47.580 --> 00:39:51.620
and anyone who wants to connect with you.

710
00:39:51.620 --> 00:39:53.080
Yeah.

711
00:39:53.080 --> 00:39:53.920
Okay.

712
00:39:56.500 --> 00:40:00.080
Anybody else have anything that's been going on?

713
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.800
You wanna, David?

714
00:40:02.800 --> 00:40:07.800
Yeah, I went on a successful second date in Pennsylvania.

715
00:40:10.240 --> 00:40:11.080
Wow.

716
00:40:12.120 --> 00:40:14.080
Drove cross country to drive my stuff

717
00:40:14.080 --> 00:40:16.280
to my new home out in Iowa.

718
00:40:16.280 --> 00:40:21.080
Went to a church military buddy's wedding out in Ohio.

719
00:40:21.080 --> 00:40:24.480
Calm down, Dormans, calm down.

720
00:40:24.760 --> 00:40:27.760
And then went out and met this girl

721
00:40:30.260 --> 00:40:34.260
that I've been talking to almost every day

722
00:40:34.260 --> 00:40:39.260
since I first met her out in Pennsylvania.

723
00:40:39.540 --> 00:40:40.380
Wow.

724
00:40:42.260 --> 00:40:47.060
Some things came up, more so kind of physical boundaries

725
00:40:47.060 --> 00:40:51.120
kind of crossed that I wasn't expecting to have crossed.

726
00:40:54.760 --> 00:40:58.520
And she just kind of said she was just kind of surprised

727
00:40:58.520 --> 00:41:03.520
that she, like nothing, no sex happened between us,

728
00:41:03.600 --> 00:41:05.520
but still just enough that it was like,

729
00:41:05.520 --> 00:41:07.520
hey, you know what, in the future,

730
00:41:07.520 --> 00:41:12.520
how about we don't kiss when we're indoors alone?

731
00:41:13.160 --> 00:41:16.200
Because that just felt like kind of escalated

732
00:41:16.200 --> 00:41:21.200
from, you know, like church PDA to make out session.

733
00:41:25.000 --> 00:41:26.160
Well.

734
00:41:26.160 --> 00:41:29.760
And she said she was surprised that she was that aggressive.

735
00:41:32.080 --> 00:41:33.400
She was the aggressor?

736
00:41:36.480 --> 00:41:37.680
Yeah, a little bit.

737
00:41:37.680 --> 00:41:41.400
I mean, I matched her energy, ultimately.

738
00:41:41.400 --> 00:41:44.000
You know, I didn't really say,

739
00:41:44.000 --> 00:41:46.400
no, I'm not comfortable with this, oh, help me.

740
00:41:47.320 --> 00:41:50.160
But at the same time, when it did escalate to a point

741
00:41:50.160 --> 00:41:54.960
where she was kind of like going to a more private area,

742
00:41:54.960 --> 00:41:56.800
I was like, hey, we're not gonna do anything

743
00:41:56.800 --> 00:41:58.240
that grieves Holy Spirit.

744
00:41:58.240 --> 00:41:59.080
So.

745
00:41:59.080 --> 00:41:59.920
Good for you.

746
00:41:59.920 --> 00:42:03.480
Just know, you know, I want a wife,

747
00:42:03.480 --> 00:42:06.480
I wanna have children, but I wanna do it the right way.

748
00:42:06.480 --> 00:42:07.600
Yeah.

749
00:42:07.600 --> 00:42:08.520
So.

750
00:42:08.520 --> 00:42:09.600
No, that's really great.

751
00:42:09.600 --> 00:42:11.640
And you guys, as men, you guys should be the ones

752
00:42:11.640 --> 00:42:13.560
holding and setting the boundary.

753
00:42:13.560 --> 00:42:15.480
I know that it's hard when you're sexually attracted

754
00:42:15.480 --> 00:42:18.120
to someone, but it's very attractive to a woman

755
00:42:18.120 --> 00:42:19.880
when a man puts a boundary in.

756
00:42:20.480 --> 00:42:21.320
And she may not like it at first,

757
00:42:21.320 --> 00:42:23.400
she may even like feel rejected by it

758
00:42:23.400 --> 00:42:25.080
because she has anxious attachment.

759
00:42:25.080 --> 00:42:27.600
Sounds like this girl's dealing with some of that.

760
00:42:27.600 --> 00:42:32.600
But she'll, if you do end up being her person

761
00:42:33.360 --> 00:42:34.720
and even marrying her,

762
00:42:34.720 --> 00:42:37.040
she'll have a whole lot more respect for you

763
00:42:37.040 --> 00:42:40.560
and you won't have this resentment.

764
00:42:40.560 --> 00:42:41.840
It actually creates resentment,

765
00:42:41.840 --> 00:42:44.400
even if the woman's the aggressor.

766
00:42:44.400 --> 00:42:46.360
But I wanna tell you, I'm not surprised by it.

767
00:42:46.360 --> 00:42:48.600
And here's the reason why I'm not surprised by it.

768
00:42:48.600 --> 00:42:49.800
Cause you guys have been creating

769
00:42:49.800 --> 00:42:52.160
this strong emotional connection,

770
00:42:52.160 --> 00:42:57.160
talking every single day and connecting and vibing,

771
00:42:58.480 --> 00:43:02.480
mentally and emotionally and even spiritually probably

772
00:43:02.480 --> 00:43:04.120
in your conversations.

773
00:43:04.120 --> 00:43:06.560
And so that makes you feel like you've been with someone

774
00:43:06.560 --> 00:43:09.720
for such a longer period of time.

775
00:43:09.720 --> 00:43:12.840
And if the spirit and the soul realm,

776
00:43:12.840 --> 00:43:15.560
the soul, the attraction realm, if that's on point,

777
00:43:15.560 --> 00:43:18.760
then the body wants in on that too, pretty quickly.

778
00:43:23.640 --> 00:43:24.480
Gotcha.

779
00:43:25.560 --> 00:43:27.320
Only thing of concern, I guess,

780
00:43:27.320 --> 00:43:31.000
is that it just feels like it's moving a lot faster

781
00:43:31.000 --> 00:43:34.280
than like, and David kind of talked about it last week too,

782
00:43:34.280 --> 00:43:39.280
about the time suggestions for being in level two

783
00:43:40.280 --> 00:43:45.280
and level three are more for like allowing

784
00:43:46.720 --> 00:43:49.960
like the full expression of divine masculine

785
00:43:49.960 --> 00:43:51.080
and divine feminine.

786
00:43:53.840 --> 00:43:55.480
It's kind of hard for me to call

787
00:43:55.480 --> 00:44:00.480
whether it's like appropriately expressed or not.

788
00:44:05.680 --> 00:44:08.200
Like she kind of wants to be in level two

789
00:44:08.640 --> 00:44:11.880
she kind of wanted to be called my girlfriend

790
00:44:13.160 --> 00:44:14.480
within the first month.

791
00:44:15.400 --> 00:44:18.280
And even though I was like, well, you know,

792
00:44:18.280 --> 00:44:20.680
it's fine if you want to go out, still date other people.

793
00:44:20.680 --> 00:44:23.040
And she's like, well, I'm not, I'm not dating anyone else.

794
00:44:23.040 --> 00:44:26.360
I'm like, but I think you should,

795
00:44:26.360 --> 00:44:28.720
like based on what I read from,

796
00:44:30.000 --> 00:44:33.320
I forgot who responded to me on the LYS app,

797
00:44:33.320 --> 00:44:37.760
but I think it would just be like healthier probably

798
00:44:38.320 --> 00:44:39.280
than just kind of.

799
00:44:40.400 --> 00:44:42.960
Well, given your current level of, you know,

800
00:44:42.960 --> 00:44:47.960
current level of physical, you know, intimacy

801
00:44:48.520 --> 00:44:50.480
that ship has sailed.

802
00:44:50.480 --> 00:44:51.360
Okay.

803
00:44:51.360 --> 00:44:53.320
So you're either boyfriend or girlfriend

804
00:44:53.320 --> 00:44:56.920
or you're nothing now, because once again,

805
00:44:56.920 --> 00:45:00.160
there'll be a feeling of resentment and being used.

806
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:11.920
I don't want to create that either, but it was just Indianapolis traffic is also silly.

807
00:45:11.920 --> 00:45:16.200
So that's part of the reason why guys, and it's hard when we're attracted to someone,

808
00:45:16.200 --> 00:45:21.000
especially, I always tell you guys that long distance usually escalates a lot quicker because

809
00:45:21.000 --> 00:45:25.960
of the time that's spent on the phone making that emotional and mental and even sometimes

810
00:45:25.960 --> 00:45:28.440
spiritual connection.

811
00:45:28.440 --> 00:45:34.420
And so that's why when we get in person, if our bodies are vibing as much as our emotions

812
00:45:34.420 --> 00:45:39.720
and our minds have been vibing with these phone calls, then we usually jump pretty quickly

813
00:45:39.720 --> 00:45:46.560
into physical intimacy, making out whatever it is.

814
00:45:46.560 --> 00:45:50.920
And that's why we got to be in it to win it with long distance because it usually does

815
00:45:50.920 --> 00:45:58.640
accelerate faster and there's less defined boundaries, David, just so you know.

816
00:45:58.640 --> 00:46:04.200
But the fact that you guys really do connect on all these levels, including physical attraction,

817
00:46:04.200 --> 00:46:09.240
as we can see, you just have to make a decision if this woman has enough attributes that you

818
00:46:09.240 --> 00:46:14.520
want to seriously pursue this and remembering that it's going to be long distance and it's

819
00:46:14.520 --> 00:46:20.800
not going to be easy because otherwise going back to, hey, go see other people, or I'm

820
00:46:20.800 --> 00:46:21.840
going to see other people.

821
00:46:21.840 --> 00:46:26.120
And I know that I introduced you to someone that even though it might not be a connection

822
00:46:26.120 --> 00:46:30.420
because she's actually talking to someone else as well.

823
00:46:30.420 --> 00:46:36.720
This girl now, if she knew that you were talking to anybody else after physically having that

824
00:46:36.720 --> 00:46:42.160
connection with each other, she'd be really mad.

825
00:46:42.160 --> 00:46:49.280
So for sure, especially since we can already tell she has anxious attachment.

826
00:46:49.280 --> 00:46:56.960
She's wanting to nail you down after a month, wanting you to not be talking or meeting anyone

827
00:46:56.960 --> 00:46:57.960
new.

828
00:46:57.960 --> 00:47:02.160
And you guys, that doesn't make her evil ogre.

829
00:47:02.160 --> 00:47:03.240
It doesn't make her bad.

830
00:47:03.240 --> 00:47:09.440
It doesn't make her controlling, just means that she likes him and she wants him to like

831
00:47:09.440 --> 00:47:12.120
her back at the same level.

832
00:47:12.120 --> 00:47:19.000
And she's got some hard work to do.

833
00:47:19.000 --> 00:47:20.380
She does see a Christian counselor.

834
00:47:20.380 --> 00:47:24.840
She does her own introspection.

835
00:47:24.840 --> 00:47:29.000
She's also like 10 years younger than me.

836
00:47:29.000 --> 00:47:34.320
So a bit of a May, December, but at the same time, she's also said yes to having a cake

837
00:47:34.320 --> 00:47:35.400
fight at a wedding.

838
00:47:35.400 --> 00:47:39.160
So that's like pretty up there on my level.

839
00:47:39.160 --> 00:47:44.400
David already said you would disapprove, but you know, the heart wants what the heart wants,

840
00:47:44.400 --> 00:47:45.400
Jackie.

841
00:47:45.400 --> 00:47:46.400
You're hilarious.

842
00:47:46.400 --> 00:47:48.960
Okay, wait, can you remind me how old you are?

843
00:47:49.920 --> 00:47:51.240
I'm old.

844
00:47:51.240 --> 00:47:54.280
They didn't have history when I was in school.

845
00:47:54.280 --> 00:47:57.680
How old are you?

846
00:47:57.680 --> 00:47:58.680
I'm 40.

847
00:47:58.680 --> 00:48:00.680
So she's 30.

848
00:48:00.680 --> 00:48:01.680
Yeah.

849
00:48:01.680 --> 00:48:04.160
She's about to turn 31, July 18th.

850
00:48:04.160 --> 00:48:06.160
I'm turning 41, July 31st.

851
00:48:06.160 --> 00:48:07.160
Oh, wow.

852
00:48:07.160 --> 00:48:08.160
Okay.

853
00:48:08.160 --> 00:48:10.360
So like exactly 10 years, pretty much.

854
00:48:10.360 --> 00:48:14.560
I mean, you're a really young 40, okay.

855
00:48:14.560 --> 00:48:18.080
Very playful, very young at heart, very young in body.

856
00:48:18.200 --> 00:48:20.760
Obviously, you've taken really great care of yourself and all the things.

857
00:48:20.760 --> 00:48:25.120
I mean, it definitely can work if she's mature enough at 30, they don't make 30 like they

858
00:48:25.120 --> 00:48:26.120
used to.

859
00:48:26.120 --> 00:48:27.120
Yeah.

860
00:48:27.120 --> 00:48:33.320
So that's kind of the question, you know, does she?

861
00:48:33.320 --> 00:48:40.080
I was just talking to the guys last week in heart work about she was very like, kind of

862
00:48:40.080 --> 00:48:44.960
setting her ways on, oh, well, we have to be financially aligned to which actually wasn't

863
00:48:44.960 --> 00:48:54.880
part of her initial verbal askings or having non-negotiables, but just kind of came up.

864
00:48:54.880 --> 00:49:02.360
And I got explained to some of the finer points of Dave Ramsey and it's good for the short

865
00:49:02.360 --> 00:49:09.680
term for getting out of debt, not the long term for buying a house or any other major

866
00:49:09.680 --> 00:49:10.680
investments.

867
00:49:10.680 --> 00:49:11.680
Yeah.

868
00:49:12.680 --> 00:49:25.320
And it looked like I threw garbage in her cereal box, trying to church up that phrase.

869
00:49:25.320 --> 00:49:34.960
But yeah, it was definitely a thing where she, I told her, I'm like, hey, we're not

870
00:49:34.960 --> 00:49:41.160
going to talk about this until we get to the point of an actual engagement.

871
00:49:41.640 --> 00:49:47.520
Even I'm just like not comfortable sharing specifics about my finances with most people.

872
00:49:47.520 --> 00:49:50.680
But either way, just accept that I'm stable.

873
00:49:50.680 --> 00:49:52.360
I mean, I'm driving across country.

874
00:49:52.360 --> 00:49:54.640
I just bought a house.

875
00:49:54.640 --> 00:49:57.640
Think I'm in an OK spot.

876
00:49:57.640 --> 00:49:59.920
But yeah, it's.

877
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.000
something where she keeps kind of revisiting of like,

878
00:50:03.000 --> 00:50:03.920
well, you know, I just,

879
00:50:03.920 --> 00:50:05.480
I really feel like we need to be aligned.

880
00:50:05.480 --> 00:50:08.560
And I'm like, I don't understand if that means

881
00:50:08.560 --> 00:50:13.560
that she's saying I have to agree with what she believes in

882
00:50:14.560 --> 00:50:16.960
with Dave Ramsey and all that, because granted.

883
00:50:18.760 --> 00:50:19.880
I mean, some of those people,

884
00:50:19.880 --> 00:50:21.640
those Dave Ramsey people are super,

885
00:50:21.640 --> 00:50:24.080
I'm not saying anything for or against,

886
00:50:24.080 --> 00:50:29.080
but they can be super hardcore, you know, super hardcore.

887
00:50:30.040 --> 00:50:30.920
And I agree with her.

888
00:50:30.920 --> 00:50:33.040
If that's how she wants to live her life,

889
00:50:33.040 --> 00:50:34.560
maybe she was raised like that.

890
00:50:34.560 --> 00:50:36.280
Or, you know, if she's just,

891
00:50:36.280 --> 00:50:38.320
if she's super hardcore with it,

892
00:50:38.320 --> 00:50:40.020
like, and this goes for anything, friends,

893
00:50:40.020 --> 00:50:42.440
not just finances, but eating habits.

894
00:50:42.440 --> 00:50:44.100
You know, I know people who are vegans.

895
00:50:44.100 --> 00:50:46.240
They don't want to be around people that eat meat.

896
00:50:46.240 --> 00:50:48.640
They're really hardcore about this is the only way to live.

897
00:50:48.640 --> 00:50:50.360
And this is what's good for your body.

898
00:50:50.360 --> 00:50:54.560
Anyone who's really, really dogmatic about anything,

899
00:50:54.560 --> 00:50:56.040
you're going to have to be on the same page.

900
00:50:56.040 --> 00:50:58.440
Otherwise there's going to be constant conflict.

901
00:50:59.480 --> 00:51:00.940
Right?

902
00:51:00.940 --> 00:51:02.720
You know, whether it's politics.

903
00:51:02.720 --> 00:51:05.000
I mean, a lot of us believe what we believe,

904
00:51:05.000 --> 00:51:06.200
but at the same time,

905
00:51:06.200 --> 00:51:07.920
we're not forcing other people to believe it.

906
00:51:07.920 --> 00:51:10.500
We're not dogmatic about it.

907
00:51:10.500 --> 00:51:12.000
But when you're partnering with someone,

908
00:51:12.000 --> 00:51:15.440
you're planning on raising children, you know,

909
00:51:15.440 --> 00:51:18.560
you got to make sure that you're on the same page

910
00:51:18.560 --> 00:51:21.200
with things, or you have more of a live and let live

911
00:51:21.200 --> 00:51:23.580
kind of like, yeah, this is what I want for me.

912
00:51:23.580 --> 00:51:24.600
Like, this is what I'm going to eat.

913
00:51:24.600 --> 00:51:26.280
This is what I think is healthy.

914
00:51:26.280 --> 00:51:27.900
You know, you do you.

915
00:51:27.900 --> 00:51:30.500
And yeah.

916
00:51:30.500 --> 00:51:33.620
So I think that that's more what she's afraid of

917
00:51:33.620 --> 00:51:37.140
is that you have like a debt mentality.

918
00:51:37.140 --> 00:51:39.300
People are hardcore Dave Ramsey.

919
00:51:39.300 --> 00:51:41.020
They believe in living like no one else.

920
00:51:41.020 --> 00:51:42.920
So someday you can live like no one else.

921
00:51:42.920 --> 00:51:44.940
The problem is, is you might die at 60 years old

922
00:51:44.940 --> 00:51:45.780
of a heart attack.

923
00:51:45.780 --> 00:51:46.940
And then what happens?

924
00:51:46.940 --> 00:51:48.220
You didn't get to enjoy anything.

925
00:51:48.220 --> 00:51:50.820
Or today on this car ride through Indianapolis.

926
00:51:50.820 --> 00:51:51.660
Yeah.

927
00:51:51.660 --> 00:51:54.540
So I mean, balance friends, balance.

928
00:51:54.540 --> 00:51:57.580
But at the same time, yeah, it sounds like,

929
00:51:58.260 --> 00:51:59.980
okay, so I'm going to call you guys a low level three.

930
00:51:59.980 --> 00:52:01.900
And the reason why is because yes,

931
00:52:01.900 --> 00:52:04.120
you guys got the cart ahead of the horse a little bit

932
00:52:04.120 --> 00:52:07.440
in the way that there's been physical, you know,

933
00:52:07.440 --> 00:52:09.780
intimacy to the point where there's going to be

934
00:52:09.780 --> 00:52:11.940
super offense if we don't even,

935
00:52:11.940 --> 00:52:16.940
if we don't at least try to see what could happen here.

936
00:52:17.180 --> 00:52:18.740
But we're going to call it low level three,

937
00:52:18.740 --> 00:52:21.340
because it sounds like there's some areas where,

938
00:52:21.340 --> 00:52:25.260
because of long distance, you guys really just,

939
00:52:25.900 --> 00:52:27.980
may not be compatible.

940
00:52:27.980 --> 00:52:31.580
So if I were you, I would dig into that.

941
00:52:32.500 --> 00:52:35.460
And quite honestly, you don't have to disclose your debt,

942
00:52:35.460 --> 00:52:39.580
but having a conversation about how you lived your life

943
00:52:39.580 --> 00:52:41.260
when it comes to finances,

944
00:52:41.260 --> 00:52:43.380
like with a budget or this or that,

945
00:52:43.380 --> 00:52:45.020
you can have that conversation.

946
00:52:45.020 --> 00:52:47.260
Because once again, if you find out that

947
00:52:47.260 --> 00:52:49.220
she's completely dogmatic about this

948
00:52:49.220 --> 00:52:50.740
and stubborn and unbudging,

949
00:52:50.740 --> 00:52:54.460
and it's not what you really would want to do,

950
00:52:54.460 --> 00:52:56.700
then there's the deal breaker.

951
00:52:56.700 --> 00:52:57.620
Yeah.

952
00:52:57.620 --> 00:53:00.260
And then just a caveat to that,

953
00:53:02.580 --> 00:53:07.580
for the ladies I'm in conversation with already

954
00:53:07.780 --> 00:53:10.380
from LYS and ARC,

955
00:53:11.660 --> 00:53:16.660
should I politely shut those conversations down

956
00:53:17.060 --> 00:53:19.160
because of being in a low level three?

957
00:53:20.940 --> 00:53:24.180
I mean, once again, you know, this girl,

958
00:53:24.940 --> 00:53:26.900
if she finds out that you're still on the dating apps,

959
00:53:26.900 --> 00:53:29.500
you know, she's gonna just think you're a player.

960
00:53:31.700 --> 00:53:34.420
But that's like her opinion then.

961
00:53:34.420 --> 00:53:36.100
And it's not, like I already told her,

962
00:53:36.100 --> 00:53:38.660
I'm like, oh, I'm still in conversation with other people.

963
00:53:38.660 --> 00:53:40.960
Holy Spirit's told me not to back out of it.

964
00:53:42.060 --> 00:53:47.060
And she's still kind of on this,

965
00:53:48.700 --> 00:53:51.780
like, I'm not sure if she means my girlfriend, boyfriend,

966
00:53:51.780 --> 00:53:53.700
that we're exclusive, but she just keeps saying,

967
00:53:53.700 --> 00:53:55.260
well, I'm not seeing anyone else.

968
00:53:55.260 --> 00:53:57.000
I'm like, I understand that.

969
00:53:59.340 --> 00:54:01.380
Okay, well, if you've been honest with her

970
00:54:01.380 --> 00:54:04.460
and she's, you know, not resentful,

971
00:54:04.460 --> 00:54:05.820
or, you know, like I said,

972
00:54:05.820 --> 00:54:10.820
anxious attachers have a tendency to get

973
00:54:10.820 --> 00:54:13.400
a little vindictive, a little petty.

974
00:54:13.400 --> 00:54:16.740
And so, yeah, I mean, if that's the case,

975
00:54:16.740 --> 00:54:19.440
then if she's willing to continue to see you

976
00:54:19.440 --> 00:54:22.080
and let you talk to other people,

977
00:54:22.080 --> 00:54:24.500
then I guess you can.

978
00:54:26.360 --> 00:54:28.680
That's not been my experience with people.

979
00:54:28.680 --> 00:54:30.600
At this level, after this has happened,

980
00:54:30.600 --> 00:54:32.840
most women would be like, hey, you know,

981
00:54:32.840 --> 00:54:35.200
if you didn't know how, you know,

982
00:54:35.200 --> 00:54:37.400
if you didn't want this to be exclusive,

983
00:54:37.400 --> 00:54:41.640
then you shouldn't have X, Y, Z.

984
00:54:41.640 --> 00:54:46.640
So, but yeah, I mean, let me ask you a question.

985
00:54:48.360 --> 00:54:49.200
Yeah.

986
00:54:49.200 --> 00:54:50.960
After meeting her in person

987
00:54:50.960 --> 00:54:52.920
and after some of the things that have happened,

988
00:54:52.920 --> 00:54:55.280
I'm not saying that you're totally

989
00:54:55.280 --> 00:54:57.260
not wanting to see her again,

990
00:54:57.260 --> 00:55:00.120
but are you looking for advice that gives?

991
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:01.960
tune out right now?

992
00:55:01.960 --> 00:55:05.960
No, it's just I'm, I'm aware I'm an anxious attacher.

993
00:55:05.960 --> 00:55:11.600
And I don't want to just jump into a marriage for just the point of being married.

994
00:55:11.600 --> 00:55:17.280
I want to be with someone that I'm going to be balanced with and just some other things

995
00:55:17.280 --> 00:55:23.400
that they're not deal breakers, but they are points of concern.

996
00:55:23.400 --> 00:55:24.400
We're both introverts.

997
00:55:25.160 --> 00:55:36.600
I mean, I'm more of a extroverted introvert, I guess, but, uh, we both easily from different

998
00:55:36.600 --> 00:55:40.160
ways, but we both kind of just like, I don't know.

999
00:55:40.160 --> 00:55:44.340
It's more of just like, uh, I don't think I'm supposed to go.

1000
00:55:44.340 --> 00:55:49.760
I don't think I'm supposed to be paired with someone who's a hardcore extrovert, uh, because

1001
00:55:49.760 --> 00:56:00.200
I'd probably go insane, uh, well, if you're an anxious attacher, you're already doing,

1002
00:56:00.200 --> 00:56:01.200
you're already doing well.

1003
00:56:01.200 --> 00:56:04.080
If you're, if you, if you think that you're an anxious attacher, you're already doing

1004
00:56:04.080 --> 00:56:09.640
well because usually anxious attachers are not going to tell the object of their affection,

1005
00:56:09.640 --> 00:56:13.620
anything that they don't want to hear, uh, because of fear of abandonment.

1006
00:56:13.620 --> 00:56:17.360
And so if you're willing to tell this girl that, you know, you're going to continue to

1007
00:56:17.360 --> 00:56:22.200
see other people, um, that's not very anxiously attached.

1008
00:56:22.200 --> 00:56:25.800
So, um, that's not, that's not the MO of an anxious attacher.

1009
00:56:25.800 --> 00:56:30.640
So, you know, either you've been anxiously attached in the past because of dynamics with

1010
00:56:30.640 --> 00:56:36.400
those people and you're not truly an anxious attacher or you're cured because once again,

1011
00:56:36.400 --> 00:56:38.640
that's just not something that an anxious attacher would do.

1012
00:56:38.640 --> 00:56:42.440
The fear of abandonment or rejection is high on the list.

1013
00:56:42.440 --> 00:56:44.440
Um, so, um,

1014
00:56:44.440 --> 00:56:47.440
Attraction stuff as well.

1015
00:56:47.440 --> 00:56:48.440
Probably.

1016
00:56:48.440 --> 00:56:49.440
Yeah.

1017
00:56:49.440 --> 00:56:50.440
For sure.

1018
00:56:50.440 --> 00:56:51.440
Yeah.

1019
00:56:51.440 --> 00:56:52.440
Yeah.

1020
00:56:52.440 --> 00:56:55.840
So do you guys have a plan to meet again anytime soon?

1021
00:56:55.840 --> 00:57:02.120
Uh, so she wants to fly out to me, uh, beginning of August.

1022
00:57:02.120 --> 00:57:03.120
It's around my birthday.

1023
00:57:03.120 --> 00:57:04.120
Uh, while I'm in school.

1024
00:57:04.120 --> 00:57:05.120
Okay.

1025
00:57:05.120 --> 00:57:06.120
Um, yeah.

1026
00:57:06.120 --> 00:57:13.280
Well, I would hold the line, hold the boundary with, you know, you're not ready to make this

1027
00:57:13.280 --> 00:57:19.800
exclusive and let's see what she does because my guess would be she doesn't make it till

1028
00:57:19.800 --> 00:57:22.600
August before she gets really mad at you.

1029
00:57:22.600 --> 00:57:23.800
All right.

1030
00:57:23.800 --> 00:57:27.520
So that's, that's, I'm going to place that bet.

1031
00:57:27.520 --> 00:57:28.520
Okay.

1032
00:57:28.520 --> 00:57:33.720
So, um, before, you know, there's some disorganized attachment that rears its head and there's

1033
00:57:33.720 --> 00:57:38.560
some, you know, something that happens with that.

1034
00:57:38.560 --> 00:57:43.680
So, um, but yeah, keep us posted on that and we'll give you feedback as we go.

1035
00:57:43.680 --> 00:57:47.360
But if that's how you feel and you believe that God told you that, then you just need

1036
00:57:47.360 --> 00:57:48.360
to hold the line.

1037
00:57:48.360 --> 00:57:49.360
Gotcha.

1038
00:57:49.360 --> 00:57:50.360
Okay.

1039
00:57:50.360 --> 00:57:51.360
Thank you.

1040
00:57:51.360 --> 00:57:52.360
Jackie.

1041
00:57:52.360 --> 00:57:53.360
Yep.

1042
00:57:53.360 --> 00:57:54.360
You're welcome.

1043
00:57:54.360 --> 00:57:55.360
All right.

1044
00:57:55.360 --> 00:58:01.320
Anybody else have any questions, comments, color commentary?

1045
00:58:02.320 --> 00:58:04.520
Thomas thinks I'm funny.

1046
00:58:04.520 --> 00:58:07.880
And before that, I appreciate him.

1047
00:58:07.880 --> 00:58:08.880
Thank you.

1048
00:58:08.880 --> 00:58:09.880
Hilarious.

1049
00:58:09.880 --> 00:58:14.480
Oh, thank you.

1050
00:58:14.480 --> 00:58:15.560
Most human beings are.

1051
00:58:15.560 --> 00:58:19.400
It seems like that's the greatest compliment anyone can give me.

1052
00:58:19.400 --> 00:58:20.400
Right, David.

1053
00:58:20.400 --> 00:58:21.400
Always.

1054
00:58:21.400 --> 00:58:22.400
He's still here.

1055
00:58:22.400 --> 00:58:23.400
Cause I'm always like funny.

1056
00:58:23.400 --> 00:58:24.400
Right.

1057
00:58:24.400 --> 00:58:25.400
And he always wants me to tell him he's funny.

1058
00:58:25.400 --> 00:58:26.400
Okay.

1059
00:58:26.400 --> 00:58:27.400
Yes.

1060
00:58:27.400 --> 00:58:28.400
You're hilarious.

1061
00:58:28.400 --> 00:58:29.400
Yeah.

1062
00:58:29.400 --> 00:58:30.400
Yeah.

1063
00:58:30.480 --> 00:58:31.480
Is that Dave?

1064
00:58:31.480 --> 00:58:32.480
Is that my husband saying that?

1065
00:58:32.480 --> 00:58:33.480
I believe so.

1066
00:58:33.480 --> 00:58:34.480
Yeah.

1067
00:58:34.480 --> 00:58:36.720
Hey babe, we don't want to disappoint.

1068
00:58:36.720 --> 00:58:38.960
We don't want to disappoint the other David.

1069
00:58:38.960 --> 00:58:42.000
So we need to go ahead and give him an O-H.

1070
00:58:42.000 --> 00:58:43.000
I-O.

1071
00:58:43.000 --> 00:58:44.000
Oh.

1072
00:58:44.000 --> 00:58:45.000
All right.

1073
00:58:45.000 --> 00:58:46.000
I knew it.

1074
00:58:46.000 --> 00:58:47.000
I knew it had to happen.

1075
00:58:47.000 --> 00:58:48.000
I'm sorry.

1076
00:58:48.000 --> 00:58:49.000
Call is breaking up.

1077
00:58:49.000 --> 00:58:50.000
I can't hear you.

1078
00:58:50.000 --> 00:58:51.000
Hey, you asked for it.

1079
00:58:51.000 --> 00:58:52.000
So there you have it.

1080
00:58:52.000 --> 00:58:53.000
Did I?

1081
00:58:53.000 --> 00:58:54.000
Okay.

1082
00:58:54.000 --> 00:58:55.000
I'm pretty sure I'm in Indianapolis.

1083
00:58:55.000 --> 00:58:56.000
Oh no.

1084
00:58:56.000 --> 00:58:57.000
Well there, they stopped.

1085
00:58:57.000 --> 00:58:58.000
So that's not a big deal.

1086
00:58:58.620 --> 00:59:01.620
Um, okay.

1087
00:59:01.620 --> 00:59:04.620
It's okay.

1088
00:59:04.620 --> 00:59:05.620
It's all right.

1089
00:59:05.620 --> 00:59:07.620
I take all the good weather.

1090
00:59:07.620 --> 00:59:08.620
You guys get what you get.

1091
00:59:08.620 --> 00:59:11.180
Hey, that's why we moved to Texas.

1092
00:59:11.180 --> 00:59:12.800
We obviously are not that loyal.

1093
00:59:12.800 --> 00:59:15.320
Um, Hunter, what do you got?

1094
00:59:15.320 --> 00:59:17.680
Oh, it's basically, I've been seeing people.

1095
00:59:17.680 --> 00:59:22.200
I've been trying to get on the ark and me and Hopi are trying to think about where's

1096
00:59:22.200 --> 00:59:23.800
the last year single thing.

1097
00:59:23.800 --> 00:59:26.240
I already got my profile and everything.

1098
00:59:26.240 --> 00:59:28.440
And all it's been is a swipe, swipe, swipe.

1099
00:59:28.440 --> 00:59:33.280
I got in good conversation, but, and then there's another situation where I'm having

1100
00:59:33.280 --> 00:59:37.960
bad stuff going on in my head, even while I'm on the job, but I still keep doing a good

1101
00:59:37.960 --> 00:59:43.680
pace when I deliver packages is basically talking about how my, I just got a text that

1102
00:59:43.680 --> 00:59:49.440
my, my neck, best friend from high school guys in his wife are pregnant.

1103
00:59:49.440 --> 00:59:53.320
And almost all my friends from high school are, and I feel like I'm being left out.

1104
00:59:53.320 --> 00:59:58.320
And I was, and I feel like I am not, I have all these things, like nothing has grown,

1105
00:59:58.320 --> 00:59:59.320
nothing changed.

1106
00:59:59.320 --> 00:59:59.320


1107
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:03.000
Basically, I even had an old, some, and my old,

1108
01:00:03.000 --> 01:00:07.500
the grownups that I grew up with that gave me the help

1109
01:00:07.500 --> 01:00:10.140
I need, some of them are growing too old.

1110
01:00:10.140 --> 01:00:12.580
My biggest fear, if God brings me my spirit mate,

1111
01:00:12.580 --> 01:00:14.820
then there's a way they're not gonna be there.

1112
01:00:14.820 --> 01:00:17.620
And I figure, you know what, my dream marriage

1113
01:00:17.620 --> 01:00:20.500
may not come true, so basically it's taking away

1114
01:00:20.500 --> 01:00:25.020
the incentive to wanna go for it, but find my spirit mate.

1115
01:00:25.020 --> 01:00:28.940
But the thing is, I just think about all those other women

1116
01:00:28.940 --> 01:00:32.820
I see about their behavior, and my last one,

1117
01:00:32.820 --> 01:00:35.540
the Janelle that I told you about, that wanted to stay

1118
01:00:35.540 --> 01:00:39.140
at my place, that never happened, well, it's like

1119
01:00:39.140 --> 01:00:42.640
she's only texting because there's something in it for her.

1120
01:00:42.640 --> 01:00:46.340
Basically, it was all, to me, instead of being

1121
01:00:46.340 --> 01:00:49.220
and going out looking for someone as a companionship,

1122
01:00:49.220 --> 01:00:52.380
you basically have this incentive to yell a flag

1123
01:00:52.380 --> 01:00:55.380
of finding someone because there's, being in a relationship

1124
01:00:55.380 --> 01:00:57.340
because there's something in it for you to make your goals

1125
01:00:57.340 --> 01:00:59.980
and your dreams come true, I mean, it's hard to go away

1126
01:00:59.980 --> 01:01:03.540
from this when I'm already succeeding at putting money

1127
01:01:03.540 --> 01:01:06.260
into an overseas trip and the last year's singles trip

1128
01:01:06.260 --> 01:01:07.260
to the Bahamas.

1129
01:01:08.780 --> 01:01:11.380
Okay, I'm glad that you're going on that singles cruise.

1130
01:01:11.380 --> 01:01:14.500
And I just wanna tell you, Hunter, that your ears

1131
01:01:14.500 --> 01:01:16.700
must have been burning this week because you actually

1132
01:01:16.700 --> 01:01:19.580
were a subject of conversation at this women's retreat

1133
01:01:19.580 --> 01:01:23.700
that I went to, because one of the women brought you up

1134
01:01:23.700 --> 01:01:26.380
and, you know, all the women are part of our community

1135
01:01:26.380 --> 01:01:28.380
and they were like, I'm so proud of Hunter,

1136
01:01:28.380 --> 01:01:31.660
he's come such a long way and he's so handsome,

1137
01:01:31.660 --> 01:01:34.100
because we were talking about the low quality of men

1138
01:01:34.100 --> 01:01:35.700
on the ARC dating app.

1139
01:01:35.700 --> 01:01:39.980
And so when you got brought up specifically,

1140
01:01:40.940 --> 01:01:43.100
you know, I just wanna let you know that, you know,

1141
01:01:43.100 --> 01:01:45.140
people think well of you more than you think

1142
01:01:45.140 --> 01:01:48.980
and let's get your profile going, let's do some,

1143
01:01:48.980 --> 01:01:51.740
we have the coaching page is about to go live

1144
01:01:51.740 --> 01:01:56.260
on JackieDorman.com, let's get you some dating coaching

1145
01:01:57.100 --> 01:01:58.860
on how to start those relationships.

1146
01:01:58.860 --> 01:02:02.020
I think that's really where you're struggling is,

1147
01:02:02.020 --> 01:02:04.940
I think that you're, you know, not picking up

1148
01:02:04.940 --> 01:02:07.540
on some social cues and rushing in a little bit too fast.

1149
01:02:07.540 --> 01:02:12.540
You have come a long way, but let's get you some feedback

1150
01:02:12.780 --> 01:02:16.060
on your app, you know, on your profile.

1151
01:02:16.060 --> 01:02:17.620
And the other thing that I wanna tell you guys

1152
01:02:17.620 --> 01:02:20.460
is we're actually in talks right now as a team

1153
01:02:20.460 --> 01:02:23.940
about opening up the SpiritMate Match

1154
01:02:23.940 --> 01:02:26.020
as the technology that it is.

1155
01:02:26.780 --> 01:02:29.300
We use it for spotlights and we use it for like some events

1156
01:02:29.300 --> 01:02:32.220
and different things, but it actually is a dating app.

1157
01:02:32.220 --> 01:02:36.820
And it's a dating app that allows you to look for people

1158
01:02:36.820 --> 01:02:40.420
on a lot of different criterias, more of like a match.com

1159
01:02:40.420 --> 01:02:44.100
than a Bumble or any of those other apps.

1160
01:02:44.100 --> 01:02:47.460
And even more in depth, maybe even than a match

1161
01:02:47.460 --> 01:02:48.340
or an eHarmony.

1162
01:02:48.340 --> 01:02:50.020
And so we own that technology,

1163
01:02:50.020 --> 01:02:52.100
we've owned it for two years now.

1164
01:02:52.100 --> 01:02:55.740
And after my run in with all of the profiles

1165
01:02:56.420 --> 01:02:58.140
on this ARC dating app, I'm like, you know,

1166
01:02:58.140 --> 01:02:59.900
we really need to talk about whether or not

1167
01:02:59.900 --> 01:03:03.940
we should open up this to people navigating it

1168
01:03:03.940 --> 01:03:05.700
as an app in our community.

1169
01:03:05.700 --> 01:03:07.620
And so we're talking about that right now

1170
01:03:07.620 --> 01:03:10.300
about, you know, how we could do that

1171
01:03:10.300 --> 01:03:13.620
because the technology exists, we have it.

1172
01:03:13.620 --> 01:03:17.500
Everyone has their profiles already in that SpiritMate Match

1173
01:03:17.500 --> 01:03:21.700
and I'm letting you guys kind of find each other on there.

1174
01:03:23.100 --> 01:03:25.620
So we're talking about that, Hunter.

1175
01:03:26.460 --> 01:03:28.460
I think that you'd be a great candidate

1176
01:03:29.740 --> 01:03:32.980
for one of our services that we're starting right now

1177
01:03:32.980 --> 01:03:37.220
and that is Dating App Health.

1178
01:03:37.220 --> 01:03:39.060
And then spotlight too,

1179
01:03:39.060 --> 01:03:41.260
but we gotta do that coaching as well.

1180
01:03:41.260 --> 01:03:42.620
Well, that's what I'm talking about.

1181
01:03:42.620 --> 01:03:46.260
So coaching, but also help, you know,

1182
01:03:46.260 --> 01:03:50.460
in those preliminary connections and conversations.

1183
01:03:50.460 --> 01:03:52.020
So hang in there, don't give up

1184
01:03:52.020 --> 01:03:55.460
and just know that people are thinking well of you

1185
01:03:56.300 --> 01:03:59.900
and saying good things about you and yeah.

1186
01:03:59.900 --> 01:04:03.220
When I did a scorecard for delivering for Amazon,

1187
01:04:03.220 --> 01:04:05.860
I became number one in performance.

1188
01:04:05.860 --> 01:04:06.700
Good.

1189
01:04:06.700 --> 01:04:11.700
And then also I get angry all this time

1190
01:04:11.700 --> 01:04:14.260
to keep it to myself and not let it out on people

1191
01:04:14.260 --> 01:04:17.980
that I coveted people's marriages, that I wanna have that.

1192
01:04:17.980 --> 01:04:19.580
But of course, the only thing that prevents me

1193
01:04:19.580 --> 01:04:22.060
from going out is maturity and the fact

1194
01:04:22.060 --> 01:04:24.740
that I can go out and earn it, like go out and earn money.

1195
01:04:24.780 --> 01:04:26.020
If you want something, go earn it.

1196
01:04:26.020 --> 01:04:27.060
Don't get it handed out to you

1197
01:04:27.060 --> 01:04:28.580
because it's more honorable,

1198
01:04:28.580 --> 01:04:31.660
but I can't always get out and earn anything

1199
01:04:31.660 --> 01:04:34.860
because relationships is something I can't always control.

1200
01:04:34.860 --> 01:04:37.180
I just gotta be best of me,

1201
01:04:37.180 --> 01:04:40.580
but just try to make it about, bring some intimacy

1202
01:04:40.580 --> 01:04:44.700
and less about going because there's something in it for you.

1203
01:04:44.700 --> 01:04:45.540
Right.

1204
01:04:45.540 --> 01:04:46.380
No, absolutely.

1205
01:04:46.380 --> 01:04:47.220
You're right.

1206
01:04:47.220 --> 01:04:48.060
And that's true.

1207
01:04:48.060 --> 01:04:49.740
So hang in there.

1208
01:04:49.740 --> 01:04:50.580
Well, there's nothing wrong with-

1209
01:04:50.580 --> 01:04:51.780
Help is coming.

1210
01:04:51.780 --> 01:04:52.620
Right.

1211
01:04:52.620 --> 01:04:54.100
There's nothing wrong with going

1212
01:04:54.460 --> 01:04:56.020
and get something like going out and get a job

1213
01:04:56.020 --> 01:04:59.340
because there's a paid dough for you after a shift.

1214
01:04:59.340 --> 01:05:00.180
But I-

1215
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.560
think a marriage or relationship has an extra layer of intimacy.

1216
01:05:04.760 --> 01:05:05.920
You're absolutely right.

1217
01:05:06.560 --> 01:05:10.140
So see just things like that, Hunter, you're, you're very, you're more mature

1218
01:05:10.140 --> 01:05:16.760
than, you know, and so just, just give us a couple more minutes where without

1219
01:05:16.760 --> 01:05:20.600
that coaching page was supposed to be live on Monday and David, I think that

1220
01:05:20.600 --> 01:05:22.800
it's going to be live sometime this week.

1221
01:05:22.800 --> 01:05:23.240
Right.

1222
01:05:23.600 --> 01:05:24.680
Yes.

1223
01:05:25.440 --> 01:05:25.760
Yeah.

1224
01:05:27.080 --> 01:05:29.640
Ran into some technical issues, you guys, but.

1225
01:05:29.840 --> 01:05:34.440
Well, the only thing that's done, I can do that's happy is the season of my

1226
01:05:34.440 --> 01:05:39.200
life about going to greet our church, going on a trip to Greece and Malta.

1227
01:05:39.600 --> 01:05:41.120
I'm going to be gone for two weeks.

1228
01:05:41.440 --> 01:05:45.600
Can I, and then I'm going to, and then next I'm going to go to the Bahamas.

1229
01:05:45.600 --> 01:05:48.480
Basically I have the money stashed away for it.

1230
01:05:48.480 --> 01:05:51.480
And I have a lot figure, you know, it's better to go on that now

1231
01:05:51.480 --> 01:05:52.800
before I meet my spirit mate.

1232
01:05:53.280 --> 01:05:54.160
It's going to be great.

1233
01:05:54.160 --> 01:05:55.560
You might meet your spirit mate there.

1234
01:05:55.560 --> 01:05:56.480
It's going to be awesome.

1235
01:05:56.840 --> 01:05:59.280
Oh, and it's only negative side.

1236
01:05:59.280 --> 01:06:00.880
Might be it's in the middle of football season.

1237
01:06:01.800 --> 01:06:02.360
Okay.

1238
01:06:02.640 --> 01:06:04.480
Well, there's always the NFL app.

1239
01:06:05.280 --> 01:06:05.920
That's right.

1240
01:06:05.920 --> 01:06:07.520
Sacrifices have to be made.

1241
01:06:08.000 --> 01:06:08.960
All right, you guys.

1242
01:06:08.960 --> 01:06:09.600
Thank you, Hunter.

1243
01:06:09.600 --> 01:06:13.920
Does anyone else have anything else that we need to, that we need to unpack

1244
01:06:14.560 --> 01:06:16.920
where we let you guys go off on your way?

1245
01:06:18.360 --> 01:06:22.240
Message Thomas, reach out to me on messenger.

1246
01:06:24.520 --> 01:06:25.000
I'm sorry.

1247
01:06:25.120 --> 01:06:25.840
What was that David?

1248
01:06:26.880 --> 01:06:28.320
Thomas, reach out to me on messenger.

1249
01:06:28.840 --> 01:06:29.400
Okay.

1250
01:06:29.480 --> 01:06:29.960
We'll do.

1251
01:06:30.760 --> 01:06:31.280
Awesome.

1252
01:06:31.640 --> 01:06:32.000
All right.

1253
01:06:32.600 --> 01:06:34.560
And Thomas, did we spotlight you?

1254
01:06:35.400 --> 01:06:38.760
No, I was told I was going to be spotlighted, but then it didn't happen.

1255
01:06:38.800 --> 01:06:45.200
So maybe tomorrow I'll make tomorrow work.

1256
01:06:45.600 --> 01:06:45.920
Okay.

1257
01:06:45.920 --> 01:06:46.320
Awesome.

1258
01:06:46.320 --> 01:06:47.160
So we have three guys.

1259
01:06:47.160 --> 01:06:55.440
We have James and we have Thomas and we have Joel and, and maybe Josh, Joshua.

1260
01:06:55.960 --> 01:06:56.560
Maybe.

1261
01:06:56.760 --> 01:06:57.120
Okay.

1262
01:06:57.120 --> 01:06:57.600
Not yet.

1263
01:06:58.040 --> 01:06:58.440
All right.

1264
01:06:58.520 --> 01:06:59.880
And David's still not ready.

1265
01:07:00.080 --> 01:07:02.760
This, the other David, not David around David.

1266
01:07:05.240 --> 01:07:05.840
Oh, that David.

1267
01:07:06.400 --> 01:07:07.200
No, wait a second.

1268
01:07:10.640 --> 01:07:11.960
There's three David's on here.

1269
01:07:11.960 --> 01:07:13.200
You guys were running David.

1270
01:07:13.200 --> 01:07:15.080
DJ David Henshaw.

1271
01:07:15.440 --> 01:07:15.760
Okay.

1272
01:07:16.040 --> 01:07:16.800
David Henshaw.

1273
01:07:17.680 --> 01:07:18.320
You ready yet?

1274
01:07:19.560 --> 01:07:20.800
I don't, I don't know.

1275
01:07:20.800 --> 01:07:22.120
I'm like, I'm struggling.

1276
01:07:22.160 --> 01:07:23.680
I just want to share a quick win.

1277
01:07:23.720 --> 01:07:27.120
Um, Tuesday, a romance scammer reached out to me and only took me two hours

1278
01:07:27.120 --> 01:07:28.960
instead of three and a half years, this time to figure it out.

1279
01:07:31.640 --> 01:07:32.840
Wait, what was the win?

1280
01:07:32.880 --> 01:07:39.240
Something I had, I had was a romance scammer and it was three and a half years

1281
01:07:39.240 --> 01:07:43.520
of that almost, and it only took me two hours to figure it out Tuesday.

1282
01:07:44.560 --> 01:07:45.920
That's a massive trauma.

1283
01:07:45.920 --> 01:07:47.800
I'm so sorry that happened to you.

1284
01:07:49.320 --> 01:07:51.000
I have a good friend that that happened to.

1285
01:07:51.000 --> 01:07:54.240
He's a guy and wasn't good.

1286
01:07:54.840 --> 01:07:59.360
Um, but that's why I mentioned like the last time you were on, like, I

1287
01:07:59.360 --> 01:08:00.760
guess it was two weeks ago or three.

1288
01:08:01.280 --> 01:08:06.720
Um, that that's why I said it was like a year, like that, like that you

1289
01:08:06.720 --> 01:08:10.760
changed from being a single spotlight night to, to, uh, to a past session.

1290
01:08:10.760 --> 01:08:11.480
I think it was.

1291
01:08:12.080 --> 01:08:16.359
Um, that's why I said it was like a year since the last time I finally

1292
01:08:16.359 --> 01:08:17.520
messaged back to the person.

1293
01:08:18.359 --> 01:08:25.479
Cause, uh, I mean, those trauma bonds are real and I, you know, I wish I

1294
01:08:25.479 --> 01:08:28.279
would have just let it, you can't just drop a cold Turkey.

1295
01:08:28.279 --> 01:08:31.120
I still held on for three more months at the end and it was bad.

1296
01:08:31.600 --> 01:08:32.720
It's really, really bad.

1297
01:08:33.160 --> 01:08:36.120
So yeah, I think that, I think we hold on for a lot of different reasons.

1298
01:08:36.120 --> 01:08:40.319
I think we hold on because, you know, on our side, it was a genuine connection.

1299
01:08:40.359 --> 01:08:44.319
Um, and then also because we don't want to admit to ourselves

1300
01:08:44.319 --> 01:08:46.120
that this has been a farce.

1301
01:08:46.800 --> 01:08:47.120
Right.

1302
01:08:47.120 --> 01:08:52.479
We want to just believe that it's not, it's not, it is real and it's not.

1303
01:08:52.840 --> 01:08:53.319
Something.

1304
01:08:53.319 --> 01:08:56.319
And, and the thing is, you guys, is that, yeah, in the tech age that we

1305
01:08:56.319 --> 01:08:59.960
live in, there's these scammers and there's these, you know, people

1306
01:08:59.960 --> 01:09:03.560
trying to create some sort of emotional connection with us for the purpose

1307
01:09:03.560 --> 01:09:08.040
of getting things from us, but they're not real, um, as far as like,

1308
01:09:08.200 --> 01:09:12.000
it's not a real relationship, but that happens in real life too, with,

1309
01:09:12.000 --> 01:09:13.600
with real relationships, right.

1310
01:09:13.600 --> 01:09:19.279
Where they're really transactional and someone's just trying to, um, get

1311
01:09:19.279 --> 01:09:23.920
their own needs met and using us for X, Y, Z, doesn't matter what it is.

1312
01:09:23.920 --> 01:09:30.240
And so, yes, it happens in virtual reality, so to speak with these non

1313
01:09:30.240 --> 01:09:33.760
relationships, but also happens in relationships as well, and they're

1314
01:09:33.760 --> 01:09:34.960
both really hard to get over.

1315
01:09:35.640 --> 01:09:40.399
And, um, but some of your healing is going to come within relationship.

1316
01:09:40.920 --> 01:09:42.040
Real relationship.

1317
01:09:42.040 --> 01:09:45.359
God can only heal you to a certain extent without you really

1318
01:09:45.840 --> 01:09:47.200
stepping out and trusting.

1319
01:09:47.200 --> 01:09:49.880
And one good thing about this community is all the women here are real.

1320
01:09:50.920 --> 01:09:51.720
They're all real.

1321
01:09:51.760 --> 01:09:55.080
They're all looking for relationship and all of them have done their hard work.

1322
01:09:55.400 --> 01:09:57.800
So, yeah, yeah.

1323
01:09:57.800 --> 01:09:58.880
It's very encouraging.

1324
01:09:58.880 --> 01:10:00.040
I mean, it's just like you said.

1325
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:04.640
You said it many times, but there, there's a bunch of amazing women here,

1326
01:10:05.080 --> 01:10:09.960
even though, you know, I barely know any of it at this point, but, um, yeah.

1327
01:10:10.200 --> 01:10:13.640
Um, I guess just a sideshare unrelated.

1328
01:10:13.860 --> 01:10:18.240
Um, I guess at this point I still feel like I'm moving to Austin, but it's

1329
01:10:18.240 --> 01:10:21.080
probably not gonna happen until September until I tie up some of the zones here.

1330
01:10:23.240 --> 01:10:23.920
So, yeah,

1331
01:10:24.440 --> 01:10:27.680
I guess James answer to, is there an amazing men's group here is yes.

1332
01:10:27.680 --> 01:10:28.720
We're going to actually start it.

1333
01:10:30.840 --> 01:10:34.140
You know, I think that David, I think that's probably what's going to happen.

1334
01:10:34.140 --> 01:10:37.800
You guys, we do have a venue that we just, um, renovated is

1335
01:10:37.800 --> 01:10:39.560
called we're calling it wheelhouse.

1336
01:10:40.040 --> 01:10:44.520
Um, it is an event venue, but it also has a spiritual community connected to it.

1337
01:10:44.580 --> 01:10:47.240
It has multimedia studios, podcasting studio.

1338
01:10:47.240 --> 01:10:49.160
It has a coworking space during the day.

1339
01:10:49.680 --> 01:10:56.200
Um, and we own that now and, um, Have, you know, it has yet to launch.

1340
01:10:56.200 --> 01:11:00.360
It's going to launch here this summer, but we do expect there to be lots of

1341
01:11:00.360 --> 01:11:06.720
things for singles, uh, and also lots of community connected to it, uh, for

1342
01:11:06.720 --> 01:11:12.160
just people's empowerment, entrepreneurs, creatives, singles, men, women, all the

1343
01:11:12.160 --> 01:11:12.520
things.

1344
01:11:12.520 --> 01:11:14.880
So, um, that's in central Austin.

1345
01:11:15.880 --> 01:11:17.720
There's going to be a really good time.

1346
01:11:18.840 --> 01:11:20.320
It's going to be a really good time.

1347
01:11:21.000 --> 01:11:21.840
You guys true story.

1348
01:11:21.840 --> 01:11:25.760
We were in Louisville just not that long ago for me to be on a podcast.

1349
01:11:25.760 --> 01:11:27.680
And a prophet that doesn't know us.

1350
01:11:27.680 --> 01:11:28.400
And we don't know.

1351
01:11:28.400 --> 01:11:29.920
In fact, he didn't speak any English.

1352
01:11:30.160 --> 01:11:32.840
His nine-year-old daughter had to interpret for him.

1353
01:11:33.280 --> 01:11:38.040
He actually called the wheelhouse out when he called when he, when he prophesied

1354
01:11:38.040 --> 01:11:40.120
over us and it really spoke to you.

1355
01:11:41.120 --> 01:11:41.560
Yeah.

1356
01:11:42.520 --> 01:11:44.880
Uh, the puns here are just incredible.

1357
01:11:44.920 --> 01:11:47.080
I don't understand what's even happening.

1358
01:11:47.400 --> 01:11:50.680
Um, it did.

1359
01:11:50.760 --> 01:11:52.440
That's a great way to turn it around.

1360
01:11:53.080 --> 01:11:53.960
That's so good.

1361
01:11:54.680 --> 01:12:00.400
Um, but, uh, we were really encouraged.

1362
01:12:00.480 --> 01:12:02.960
It did really, yeah, really spoke to us.

1363
01:12:03.280 --> 01:12:03.880
That's funny.

1364
01:12:03.960 --> 01:12:05.560
That's so funny, man.

1365
01:12:05.560 --> 01:12:06.360
That was quick.

1366
01:12:06.480 --> 01:12:07.120
You were witty.

1367
01:12:07.440 --> 01:12:07.840
All right.

1368
01:12:09.120 --> 01:12:09.840
Okay, guys.

1369
01:12:09.880 --> 01:12:11.600
So anything else before we go?

1370
01:12:12.600 --> 01:12:13.080
Nope.

1371
01:12:13.320 --> 01:12:14.520
Not, not for me anymore.

1372
01:12:15.280 --> 01:12:18.600
Just, uh, prayers for everyone that's traveling right now.

1373
01:12:19.520 --> 01:12:19.720
Yeah.

1374
01:12:19.720 --> 01:12:20.920
Other David, pretty much.

1375
01:12:21.000 --> 01:12:28.480
Uh, I've got two hours and 44 minutes left and then, uh, moving truck up in

1376
01:12:28.480 --> 01:12:33.320
Iowa and then a 24 hour drive back to Vegas.

1377
01:12:34.040 --> 01:12:34.520
Wow.

1378
01:12:34.560 --> 01:12:34.880
Okay.

1379
01:12:34.880 --> 01:12:38.120
And then a 24 hour drive back to Iowa next week.

1380
01:12:38.720 --> 01:12:43.320
Protection from all incidents, accidents, injuries, evil Lord over

1381
01:12:43.320 --> 01:12:44.720
your sons as they travel.

1382
01:12:45.360 --> 01:12:46.160
We thank you Lord.

1383
01:12:46.160 --> 01:12:47.520
Operating a mobile device.

1384
01:12:48.040 --> 01:12:48.600
All driving.

1385
01:12:50.560 --> 01:12:51.080
Amen.

1386
01:12:51.520 --> 01:12:56.960
Um, also guys, I really want you to remember the scripture about, um, you

1387
01:12:56.960 --> 01:13:01.120
know, when the Kings, when season, when the Kings went to war, okay.

1388
01:13:01.120 --> 01:13:02.680
And really just pray into that.

1389
01:13:02.880 --> 01:13:05.680
You guys can unpack that more next week on Monday.

1390
01:13:06.000 --> 01:13:07.840
Um, see the rest of you at single spotlight.

1391
01:13:07.840 --> 01:13:09.320
All of you hopefully will be there.

1392
01:13:09.640 --> 01:13:13.720
Um, there's always chats going on and people to meet in the chat.

1393
01:13:13.800 --> 01:13:16.520
And then the guys that are going to be spotlighted, I will drop in your

1394
01:13:16.520 --> 01:13:18.680
DMS and give you more information.

1395
01:13:19.280 --> 01:13:21.680
And, um, other than that.

1396
01:13:24.480 --> 01:13:31.520
Remember that you guys are literally a thousand percent better in every

1397
01:13:31.520 --> 01:13:36.200
category than most of everyone I've seen on the dating app.

1398
01:13:37.040 --> 01:13:41.280
So, um, next time you want to think that you don't have anything to offer.

1399
01:13:42.200 --> 01:13:46.960
That's a lie because, um, you have a lot to offer more than, you know, and

1400
01:13:46.960 --> 01:13:49.840
there's a woman out there who's really wanting to partner with what you have

1401
01:13:49.840 --> 01:13:54.840
to offer and help you to, to become the man that God has called you to

1402
01:13:54.840 --> 01:13:56.440
be and vice versa with her.

1403
01:13:56.880 --> 01:13:57.280
All right.

1404
01:13:57.320 --> 01:14:00.160
Thank you guys so much for being part of this movement.

1405
01:14:00.200 --> 01:14:03.160
We appreciate each and every one of you and we'll see you tomorrow.

1406
01:14:03.360 --> 01:14:03.840
Bye everyone.