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Welcome to Men's Heart Check-in, June 20th.

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If you were not on before and you're hearing this in replay,

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we're getting a recap or a catch-up on David's low three to low one situation,

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and so continue on.

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Yeah. Could be a low two.

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I actually forget the levels of relationships.

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Low one, are you still dating?

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Are you still talking?

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I told her I just needed a few days.

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You're in level two because level one is you know this person.

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Okay. Well, then I mislabeled that.

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Level two is you are connecting intentionally,

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and level two,

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there's a wide range there because you're connecting intentionally,

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but not necessarily exclusive.

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Even though you could be exclusive in level two,

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in terms of progressing into level three,

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which is, hey,

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I'm interested in you and you only,

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I'm not necessarily trying to date other people or talk to other people or interested.

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I really want to pursue you specifically both,

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and that's a very mutual thing.

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That's level three.

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Level four, level three,

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all the way up into engagement.

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Level four is engagement.

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Level five, married.

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For those of you who have never known what those levels are,

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that's how we look about it,

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and there are some other nuances there to relationship levels,

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just to be able to define the relationship a little bit.

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I do want to say welcome, Joshua Pickles.

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Is this your first time to Men's Heart Check-in?

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Hello. Yeah. First time.

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I was in Jackie's VIP thing, I think.

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Yeah, no, I'm aware of that,

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but as far as this particular meeting session,

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this is Men's Heart Check-in.

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Yeah, specific.

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Yes.

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Cool. Awesome.

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Welcome, Josh.

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This is what we do,

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just jump in here.

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Some of us guys have been doing this for a while,

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and we are just getting updates.

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We just dive in real quickly,

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and I just want to make sure that you understand

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what's going on.

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We process each other's stuff.

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Sometimes we get into some topics and general discussions,

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and then sometimes we go deep on one thing,

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so that's how this goes.

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This is an opportunity to do Heart Check-in

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together with just guys,

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so that's what this is all about.

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I'll give you an opportunity to introduce yourself

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and to tell a little bit about who you are

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and where you're from, that kind of thing,

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just so we can get to know you in a minute,

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because I want to get back to David and what he's doing,

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and no other new guys.

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Jesse, I think you've been on here before, right?

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Oh, Tim.

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Hey, Tim.

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Sorry.

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This is your first time on Men's Heart Check-in?

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Hey, guys. First time.

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I'm sorry. I'm eating.

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Chicken was why I pointed my camera away.

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It happens.

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But, yeah, looking forward to just joining the program

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about a week ago, just doing the initial videos and all,

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and so this is my first event to join here.

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Yeah. Well, welcome. Welcome.

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Thank you.

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This is our opportunity to, just men,

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gather together to kind of just discuss, share.

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We share our wins. We share our not-so-much wins,

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and we just talk, we process.

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It's kind of a roundtable sort of situation.

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I try to facilitate as best I can.

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Sometimes we get into a heavy topic or a specific topic,

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and then sometimes we're just sharing with each other,

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so I just want to let you know that.

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So, welcome, and I'll give you guys an opportunity

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to introduce yourselves,

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just to tell us a little bit about yourselves

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here in just a minute.

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Cool. Back to you.

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You're probably in the level two,

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so you guys are still talking,

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but you've taken definitely a step back.

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If you're talking exclusively

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and you're not really talking to anybody else,

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or she's not talking to anybody else,

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technically that's kind of level three,

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but those are not as important

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as actually what's happening in the situation.

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So, she triggered you.

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You probably triggered her some in this interaction.

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A little bit with the lack of responding to her

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over the course of a few days.

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Like, I thought I was just sinking into a depression

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because I haven't had PTSD treatment in a hot minute,

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and then when I had time to just not constantly be moving

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and driving all over the country.

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I took some time.

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You've been preoccupied for sure the last several weeks.

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Oh yeah.

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Doing a bunch of things, right, yeah.

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Two cross country trips in less than a month.

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Drove to California Saturday and then back

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to go shadow a chiropractor out there

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before I get started at school.

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So as far as the relationship,

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where is it at now?

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You're just taking a couple days to process,

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easy as two?

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A couple days to process plus I do my final move

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from Vegas to Iowa Wednesday and just wanting to,

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I noticed that I don't like talking when I'm in the car,

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like not right now,

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but I actually moved to the car for privacy

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because family's just kind of all in and out

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in the hallway and right outside my door

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and I'm like, it's like you guys are doing this on purpose,

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you know?

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Yeah.

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And it's not, it's just my,

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I just had a treatment today for PTSD

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and it just means that everything has the volume turned up.

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Yeah.

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It's basically works my brain out to where

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over the course of the next few months,

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like it'll be like greatly subdued.

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Yeah.

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Well, we just pray for you right now,

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just that you'll be, first of all,

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you'll just be at peace and that you'll just,

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you know, process this.

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You know, we don't really know,

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you may not even really know whether this relationship is,

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you know, I don't want to say worthy,

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but you know, it's like,

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you don't even know if really right now

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if you want to pursue this relationship,

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you don't know how you want to pursue this relationship.

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And so that's fine.

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It's kind of, huh?

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I was going to say more so how, like, I don't know.

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You don't really know how to pursue this relationship

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or even if you want to at this point.

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So we understand that.

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So we just pray first and foremost,

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that you have peace in this situation,

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peace at this moment in time,

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especially as you're, you know,

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dealing with some PTSD, that kind of stuff.

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So we definitely just agree with you.

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We add our faith together right now

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that you'll be in peace

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and that you'll find a sense of solace

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in this time as you're processing

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because that's what's most important

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because that's where you're going to get clarity.

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That's where you're going to get, you know,

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the right motives.

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That's where you're going to get, you know,

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freedom from fear and anything else

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that may be trying to get your attention

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that, you know, isn't for your best benefit.

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So we just pray for that right now in the name of Jesus.

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And we just really believe that, you know,

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you're going to be able to work through this

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and then come to some conclusion or next step,

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whatever you want to do, you know,

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and we'll be there for you for that.

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Thank you much.

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Yeah, man.

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Well, guys, and we might even come back to you, David,

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three minutes, depending on how, what we get into.

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So welcome.

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We have, you know, a different crew

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at a different crew last week.

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I don't know if anybody,

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there might be one or two guys around here from last week,

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but everybody else is kind of like showing up

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like some old school folks and some new guys.

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So it's all good.

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Let's take an opportunity to have our new guys

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introduce themselves, Joshua and Tim.

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Let's take a minute.

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Just, you don't have to go very long.

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You don't have to tell us your life story,

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but you know, just kind of give us an idea of who you are

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and what you do, where you're from,

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and maybe how you found the last year single

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and that kind of thing.

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Yeah, Joshua.

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I just joined the last year single program.

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Maybe a couple of days ago.

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I was a school bus driver for this last semester.

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I had a roommate that got me into that job,

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but now I'm going into teaching.

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That's been something the Lord has been putting on my heart.

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33 years old, originally from Houston.

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I live in Dallas now.

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The Lord has just been really putting me on this journey

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the last couple of years, just in faith.

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Dallas is kind of a hub for people

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who are being trained into ministry purposes,

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and that could be like, you know,

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kingdom ministry and business or whatever.

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I think for me specifically it's teaching,

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but I started, I come from a big family.

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I'm the second of nine kids.

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Grew up in a Christian home,

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and a lot of like, I would say, emotional,

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maybe even spiritual abuse growing up in some sense.

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I'm not blaming everything, unlike my parents or anything,

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but just acknowledging that the Lord had to teach me

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who He was as a father, so the last six years or so,

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that's been something He's been doing.

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I learned about the heart work September, October last year.

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I had a roommate, he's married now,

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but his girlfriend at the time said,

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you need to do the heart work.

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And so he did it, and then he shared it, and he's like, hey, like, you should do it too.

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Because I was just going through a rut.

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And in that process, I'm actually doing it again right now, I'm about to start chapter

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10 on forgiveness.

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So I'm catching up on the portal online on the program, but I'm in, I feel like the Lord

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is just saying you need to focus on the forgiveness part right now.

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When I did it the first time last October, the Lord healed me of wounds with women that

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I'd had from like, six, eight years ago.

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And that was really surprising, because I thought that I was already healed from that.

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But apparently, like,

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These were these were ladies that you were in relationship with dating.

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Anything or romantically interested in Yeah, but in some way or another, I've been really

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hurt by them.

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Oh, yeah, I'm going to that more in detail if you want, but that's just kind of a general

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thing.

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Yeah.

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I think it's funny.

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It's just I just when you're saying this, like, someone says, Hey, you know, I did this

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and you should do it to like, I always think of just kind of like the negative peer pressure

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that kind of sounds like an 80s movie, like, hey, man, you want to do this?

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Like it's like, like bad something bad.

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And this is funny.

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I don't know why.

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I just thought that was funny.

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You said that you should do this to like, years old, so like, but if this is positive

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peer pressure to do something actually really good, and I think it's I don't know, the irony

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there is kind of funny how that came out.

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But so I appreciate that, Josh.

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Well, thank you for sharing and giving an introduction to who you are and where you

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do.

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Where are you from?

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Tim?

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Go ahead.

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Let us know.

263
00:11:41.080 --> 00:11:42.080
What's up with you?

264
00:11:42.080 --> 00:11:43.080
Hey, guys.

265
00:11:43.080 --> 00:11:44.080
Good to meet you.

266
00:11:44.080 --> 00:11:50.840
My name is Tim, Tim McAuliffe, and I live in the Dallas area also.

267
00:11:50.840 --> 00:11:53.320
And let's see, just go to a church there.

268
00:11:53.320 --> 00:11:54.320
Let's see.

269
00:11:54.320 --> 00:12:02.880
I'm, let's see, from Nebraska, originally been in Dallas and Texas for about 10 years.

270
00:12:02.880 --> 00:12:09.000
And yeah, let's see, relationship wise, I dated a girl kind of off and on for a few

271
00:12:09.000 --> 00:12:11.600
years, pursued her.

272
00:12:11.600 --> 00:12:17.000
And in the end, yeah, that just didn't didn't work out.

273
00:12:17.000 --> 00:12:18.000
In the end.

274
00:12:18.000 --> 00:12:21.120
Yeah, kind of like I broke it off for a while, but I tried to get back and then she wasn't

275
00:12:21.120 --> 00:12:22.120
really interested.

276
00:12:22.120 --> 00:12:24.280
And then so then she finally broke it off.

277
00:12:24.280 --> 00:12:28.600
And then I did a really great, awesome Christian girl I knew from church for like five years,

278
00:12:28.600 --> 00:12:33.520
did her we did for like eight months, and she's kind of broke up out of the blue last

279
00:12:33.520 --> 00:12:36.520
what like February.

280
00:12:36.520 --> 00:12:42.280
And you know, my friends aren't, they don't think I did anything wrong, or I don't, you

281
00:12:42.280 --> 00:12:47.200
know, I think it wasn't the right fit, I'm concluding, but she didn't really give a reason.

282
00:12:47.200 --> 00:12:50.720
She wasn't really willing to talk or anything or nothing happened.

283
00:12:50.720 --> 00:12:51.720
So it's kind of odd.

284
00:12:51.720 --> 00:12:58.440
So now I'm just on this journey of, I would like to get married and, and just on this

285
00:12:58.440 --> 00:13:04.280
journey of let's see, you know, how did I join this group?

286
00:13:04.280 --> 00:13:10.800
I mean, yeah, yeah, I just haven't had success, honestly, meeting girls through church, which

287
00:13:10.800 --> 00:13:11.800
is too bad.

288
00:13:11.800 --> 00:13:19.120
I've been involved in a great singles group at church for several years, or I was.

289
00:13:19.120 --> 00:13:24.480
And I just found out about your ministry a couple years ago, I went through the heart

290
00:13:24.480 --> 00:13:30.240
work workshop just on my own, the videos I heard about through a friend.

291
00:13:30.240 --> 00:13:34.760
So just like Josh, I had that peer pressure.

292
00:13:34.760 --> 00:13:39.040
But yeah, he actually met his wife through it, through your ministry there.

293
00:13:39.040 --> 00:13:40.920
And your friend did.

294
00:13:40.920 --> 00:13:41.920
My friend did.

295
00:13:41.920 --> 00:13:42.920
Uh huh.

296
00:13:42.920 --> 00:13:43.920
Yeah.

297
00:13:43.920 --> 00:13:44.920
Yep.

298
00:13:44.920 --> 00:13:45.920
And let's see.

299
00:13:45.920 --> 00:13:50.520
And so, so I went through it maybe two, two to three years ago, at the time, but then

300
00:13:50.520 --> 00:13:54.840
I think actually on some how I come across it here, like a week ago, week, one or two

301
00:13:54.840 --> 00:14:00.200
weeks ago, I think I saw some sort of something popped up on like Facebook Messenger or something.

302
00:14:01.160 --> 00:14:05.480
So at any rate, that's kind of where I emailed and it went from there.

303
00:14:05.480 --> 00:14:12.240
So yeah, just looking forward to, you know, continuing to grow in Christ and, and see

304
00:14:12.240 --> 00:14:16.440
if Lord, you know, how the Lord would like to, I believe I'll get married at some point.

305
00:14:16.440 --> 00:14:17.440
Love to have kids.

306
00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:19.480
I'm a little older, older single now.

307
00:14:19.480 --> 00:14:23.120
I mean, I think I'm, I'm fine and fit for it, it's just whether or not the girls would

308
00:14:23.120 --> 00:14:24.800
be in that demographic or not.

309
00:14:24.800 --> 00:14:25.800
But if not, that's okay.

310
00:14:25.800 --> 00:14:28.800
That's kind of where I'm at now.

311
00:14:28.800 --> 00:14:29.800
Okay.

312
00:14:30.400 --> 00:14:32.400
Tim, Joshua, how old are you?

313
00:14:34.400 --> 00:14:36.400
Joshua, 33.

314
00:14:37.400 --> 00:14:38.400
Joshua, 33?

315
00:14:38.400 --> 00:14:39.400
Yeah.

316
00:14:40.400 --> 00:14:41.400
And then Tim, how old are you?

317
00:14:41.400 --> 00:14:43.400
I am 55.

318
00:14:44.400 --> 00:14:45.400
Wow.

319
00:14:45.400 --> 00:14:46.400
You look good.

320
00:14:47.400 --> 00:14:48.400
That's awesome.

321
00:14:48.400 --> 00:14:50.400
I can't believe, I know, I know.

322
00:14:50.400 --> 00:14:51.400
I'm right behind you.

323
00:14:54.400 --> 00:14:56.400
I'll be 54 this year.

324
00:14:56.400 --> 00:14:57.400
All right.

325
00:14:57.400 --> 00:14:58.400
Very good.

326
00:14:58.400 --> 00:14:59.400
55, that's good.

327
00:14:59.400 --> 00:15:01.000
Somebody talk to me.

328
00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:06.400
me when I turned 50, I was just like, wasn't like really hardcore lamenting, but I kind of lamented

329
00:15:06.400 --> 00:15:10.720
to them because I was about to turn 50 a couple years ago, obviously. Right. Yeah. I'm going to

330
00:15:10.720 --> 00:15:15.040
be 50 this year. And the guy looked at me and he says, Hey, your fifties are your best. And I'm

331
00:15:15.040 --> 00:15:23.600
like, really? I'm like, okay. Yeah. So take that. So like fifties is my best. So, um, I'm hardcore

332
00:15:23.600 --> 00:15:27.520
turning around. There's a lot of different things happening in my life and, uh, you know, it's all

333
00:15:27.520 --> 00:15:36.560
good. Um, it's going to be my best decade yet. Uh, so I'm a, I'm a medical doctor. I have a

334
00:15:36.560 --> 00:15:43.040
clinic in Richardson. Um, and so I actually do vasectomies and circumcisions all day. I

335
00:15:43.040 --> 00:15:49.760
have a SNP clinic there. And actually right now I'm in an RV in Graham, Texas. I do once a month,

336
00:15:49.760 --> 00:15:56.400
I just go out and do an ER shift, 24 hour shift. So I start that tomorrow. So I, I show up early

337
00:15:56.400 --> 00:16:00.640
and get a good night's sleep. And then you just live in your RV for that day or weekend or

338
00:16:00.640 --> 00:16:07.120
whatever. Well, it's an Airbnb outside. Yeah. I see. I see. Okay. Yeah. Just a little Airbnb here.

339
00:16:07.760 --> 00:16:15.360
That's really cool. Okay. Hey, if any of you guys need a vasectomy or a circumcision tonight,

340
00:16:15.360 --> 00:16:19.040
just, you know, hit up Tim's, let them know like, Hey bro, I'm kind of in a need of a

341
00:16:19.280 --> 00:16:21.760
that's right. Friends and family discount. It looks like

342
00:16:24.560 --> 00:16:29.920
a lot of services here at last. We did. We definitely do a combo. We have patients come

343
00:16:29.920 --> 00:16:36.480
in for Vassar combo. Absolutely, bro. I mean, like we do it all. We do it all on appointment

344
00:16:36.480 --> 00:16:42.240
even, you know, you don't even have to go under the, you know, one stop shop. Yeah.

345
00:16:43.920 --> 00:16:48.720
David, shouldn't you be advertising that in Jackie Dorman's forever married program?

346
00:16:48.800 --> 00:16:54.880
Probably, probably. I mean, there's some, yeah. We're always looking for add on services

347
00:16:54.880 --> 00:16:58.480
that we get to sort of, you know, like affiliate with or whatever, you know.

348
00:16:58.480 --> 00:17:01.600
That's right. That's right. A little snip, snip, snap.

349
00:17:01.600 --> 00:17:04.240
It's kind of the opposite of add on services, but yeah.

350
00:17:04.880 --> 00:17:11.440
Yeah. Services page. Right. Yeah. We call it sawdust, you know? Anyway,

351
00:17:11.440 --> 00:17:16.560
that's a whole other marketing term and everything. Well, that's pretty cool. Thank

352
00:17:16.560 --> 00:17:23.200
you guys for showing up here. Thank you. Jesse, give me, I know I met you in person.

353
00:17:24.560 --> 00:17:27.599
Give me a little about, I know you've been here before.

354
00:17:30.960 --> 00:17:33.920
Has things like to one of these heart check-ins before?

355
00:17:33.920 --> 00:17:40.240
Yeah. No, I haven't. I don't know. Last week I might've caught the tail end or I don't know

356
00:17:40.240 --> 00:17:44.480
if I was watching a replay or not. I don't remember. Well, give us a little bit about you

357
00:17:44.480 --> 00:17:48.000
then, Jesse. Where are you from? What do you do? What's going on with you?

358
00:17:48.880 --> 00:17:58.560
Yeah, I'm from Pennsylvania and I'm a realtor, real estate investment company. And I'm 44.

359
00:18:00.720 --> 00:18:09.360
I'm a widow, a widower. My wife passed away last February. So it's, let's see here, 491 days ago.

360
00:18:10.320 --> 00:18:10.820
Wow.

361
00:18:12.240 --> 00:18:20.320
So I have four kids. We have four kids, 18, 16, 13, and 11, three girls and a boy.

362
00:18:21.760 --> 00:18:32.000
So I got connected to your ministry through the first date that I went on back in the end of

363
00:18:32.000 --> 00:18:40.640
January. Yeah. She was, wasn't interested, but kind enough to pass my information on the Jackie

364
00:18:40.640 --> 00:18:45.360
who called me and it was a really good conversation. And then I ended up

365
00:18:45.360 --> 00:18:51.120
meeting you guys there at the New Jersey meeting or whatever.

366
00:18:51.120 --> 00:18:55.040
Earlier this year, we were at a King of Kings church in New Jersey and met you there. Yeah.

367
00:18:56.080 --> 00:18:56.720
I remember that.

368
00:18:57.680 --> 00:19:06.000
So yeah, so I did, I signed up for, I was kind of reluctant to sign up because I didn't feel like I

369
00:19:06.000 --> 00:19:13.600
needed the connections as far as like, I guess what I knew about it was just like the, you know,

370
00:19:13.600 --> 00:19:19.360
like the matchmaking part of it. And I was like, I don't know if I'm really into that or really need

371
00:19:20.320 --> 00:19:27.040
that. But I had a lot kind of a decent amount going on besides that, but I'm glad I signed up

372
00:19:27.040 --> 00:19:34.080
because I did, I finished the heart work and it was really good. So yeah, I don't know if there's,

373
00:19:34.080 --> 00:19:38.880
I don't know what happened, but I didn't get onto the guys thing till after I was completed with the

374
00:19:38.880 --> 00:19:43.360
heart work. And that's kind of appropriate, but that's, yeah, that's cool. That's fine.

375
00:19:44.240 --> 00:19:47.040
Yeah. But anyhow, so yeah.

376
00:19:48.640 --> 00:19:53.520
Yeah. Guys, Jesse's got an incredible story as far as what he's went through and what he's doing

377
00:19:53.520 --> 00:19:59.760
now as a single dad and all that kind of stuff. And all of you guys, man, have like,

378
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.560
incredible uniqueness. And, um, you know, we talk about that a

379
00:20:04.560 --> 00:20:08.120
lot. Um, Jackie was even mentioning it last week and

380
00:20:08.120 --> 00:20:10.920
some of you guys aren't here, but you know, every time she

381
00:20:10.920 --> 00:20:14.880
comes on here, um, as of late, she's been telling you guys, you

382
00:20:14.880 --> 00:20:18.800
know, you guys are unicorns. I mean, truly, like, it's a real

383
00:20:18.800 --> 00:20:25.720
thing. Like there are not many men, um, not only within our

384
00:20:25.720 --> 00:20:29.200
group, but just like at large, like we all know that there's a

385
00:20:29.400 --> 00:20:33.000
masculinity crisis that our culture and the world's having.

386
00:20:33.040 --> 00:20:38.600
Um, there's just a lot of issues that way. Um, and, but at the

387
00:20:38.600 --> 00:20:43.920
same time, you know, to find like a lot of the women, one of

388
00:20:43.920 --> 00:20:48.160
their biggest questions is like, where are the good men? You

389
00:20:48.160 --> 00:20:52.560
know, I didn't say where are the perfect men, just where the

390
00:20:52.560 --> 00:20:57.800
good men, you know, here, here guys just trying. And that's

391
00:20:57.800 --> 00:21:03.200
what's amazing about, um, right now where we're at, like

392
00:21:03.720 --> 00:21:10.200
sometimes it's, it is enough that a guy is trying showing up

393
00:21:10.720 --> 00:21:15.840
and keeps on showing up, showing up, showing up, trying. So if

394
00:21:15.840 --> 00:21:19.360
you're feeling a little down on yourself today, for whatever

395
00:21:19.360 --> 00:21:24.480
reason, any number of thousand different reasons, lift yourself

396
00:21:24.480 --> 00:21:29.240
up and know that you're probably above average with

397
00:21:29.240 --> 00:21:37.400
regard to, um, your, what is it called? Your, you know, your

398
00:21:38.040 --> 00:21:46.520
EQ ability, if you will, um, your eligibility in terms of,

399
00:21:46.560 --> 00:21:50.920
uh, the kind of man and the kind of, uh, guy that women are

400
00:21:50.920 --> 00:21:56.920
looking for. And, um, and being intentional. So I just want to

401
00:21:56.920 --> 00:22:02.360
encourage you with that. Um, who's got something, um, on your

402
00:22:02.360 --> 00:22:06.520
heart and your mind, I want to open up the table tonight for

403
00:22:06.520 --> 00:22:08.680
anybody that's got something that you want to sort of like

404
00:22:08.680 --> 00:22:10.200
process or maybe talk about.

405
00:22:11.040 --> 00:22:14.680
I kind of have a David, similar to David, but different. Right.

406
00:22:16.040 --> 00:22:19.840
So I'm struggling, struggling with several things, just, just

407
00:22:19.840 --> 00:22:23.200
the, I don't like playing games. Cause it feels like

408
00:22:23.200 --> 00:22:27.440
manipulation, right? Like at the same time, I know there's, there

409
00:22:27.440 --> 00:22:31.520
is a, um, a dance in the whole thing. So this gal, I asked her

410
00:22:31.520 --> 00:22:37.400
out in January. Um, she gave me her number and then said, I'm

411
00:22:37.400 --> 00:22:42.280
cocooning and then disappeared. Right. Um, but now I'm at that

412
00:22:42.280 --> 00:22:45.360
church. Cause I thought the Lord calling me there. And I feel

413
00:22:45.360 --> 00:22:48.320
like she, it's almost like torture in a way because she, I

414
00:22:48.320 --> 00:22:52.320
feel like she's circling me, but not giving me any inroads. I

415
00:22:52.320 --> 00:22:54.640
don't know if that, does that make sense? Like, you know, um,

416
00:22:55.520 --> 00:22:56.480
and like, I, you know,

417
00:22:56.920 --> 00:22:59.160
emotionally, like, cause she, and you think this is

418
00:22:59.160 --> 00:23:01.320
intentional or I think it's just like in your,

419
00:23:01.400 --> 00:23:04.480
I think she wants me to be scared or afraid or something.

420
00:23:04.480 --> 00:23:07.560
That's what might, would be my guess. Right. Like, um, I mean,

421
00:23:07.560 --> 00:23:10.320
she came, she had, I found out some information. She had a

422
00:23:10.320 --> 00:23:14.400
really abusive marriage before, you know, so that was a whole

423
00:23:14.600 --> 00:23:18.680
that's a whole nother context. Like, so I guess my thing is,

424
00:23:18.720 --> 00:23:21.480
um, well, it was interesting cause last week there was a

425
00:23:21.480 --> 00:23:24.160
bunch of, there's three eligible ladies there and two of them

426
00:23:24.160 --> 00:23:29.200
were near me. And then this week she came in decked out. Right.

427
00:23:29.200 --> 00:23:31.720
You know, and she actually, um, she actually engaged with me

428
00:23:31.720 --> 00:23:36.880
last week. So, but like, it just feels like kind of bullshit

429
00:23:36.880 --> 00:23:38.920
actually. I don't know. Like that's the best way to think.

430
00:23:39.680 --> 00:23:46.040
It seems very, I just don't, I understand that there's, there's

431
00:23:46.040 --> 00:23:50.280
like, I don't, I don't have game and I'm trying to get game, I

432
00:23:50.280 --> 00:23:53.640
guess. I don't know, but it just, it just feels disingenuous

433
00:23:53.640 --> 00:23:58.080
or from her. Yeah. Yeah. There's a, there's a crap test, you

434
00:23:58.080 --> 00:24:00.440
know, like, I guess ladies sometimes see it, who are you

435
00:24:00.440 --> 00:24:05.800
and like, what can you handle? And I just, so I guess I'm

436
00:24:05.840 --> 00:24:09.800
confused. So you feel like this, this lady is playing head games

437
00:24:09.800 --> 00:24:10.400
with you.

438
00:24:12.880 --> 00:24:16.560
He knows what she wants. Right. And so, but you know, so, and I

439
00:24:16.560 --> 00:24:20.400
think she's drawn to me and I really dig her. Right. But at

440
00:24:20.400 --> 00:24:26.480
the same time, um, it's, it is, and I, and I just do have to

441
00:24:26.480 --> 00:24:29.760
say, I have my whole life I've been manipulated and screwed

442
00:24:29.760 --> 00:24:32.680
with, so I could be hypersensitive. That's kind of

443
00:24:32.680 --> 00:24:34.560
one of the reasons why I'm trying to check it out is like,

444
00:24:34.560 --> 00:24:38.040
am I being hypersensitive? Is this just part of the game of,

445
00:24:38.560 --> 00:24:41.520
she wants to be chased, you know, run, you know, like, you

446
00:24:41.520 --> 00:24:45.240
know, um, but I, you know, I do really appreciate the

447
00:24:45.240 --> 00:24:47.600
encouragement about the unicorn because I mean, I've done a

448
00:24:47.600 --> 00:24:51.040
hell of a lot of work to be the best I could be. Right. You

449
00:24:51.040 --> 00:24:55.360
know, and, um, and, but at the same time, it doesn't feel like

450
00:24:55.600 --> 00:24:56.600
it's appreciated.

451
00:24:57.680 --> 00:24:58.160
In

452
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:02.320
You know, and it's just nice to be up to you.

453
00:25:02.320 --> 00:25:07.040
I mean, you have like, not only do we have a masculinity crisis,

454
00:25:07.080 --> 00:25:12.640
and I say that because it's there's definitely like there's a weight on that

455
00:25:12.640 --> 00:25:16.040
in terms of like, you know, what's what's going on with with our men today in the

456
00:25:16.040 --> 00:25:21.760
world, but at the same time, probably equally as many females that are coming

457
00:25:21.760 --> 00:25:24.000
from their own source of trauma and so forth.

458
00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:27.480
And so when trauma and trauma meet, like it can be like it can be like, wait,

459
00:25:27.680 --> 00:25:28.640
what's going on here?

460
00:25:28.640 --> 00:25:32.520
Like, it's hard sometimes to get to that sort of like a little bit of true north

461
00:25:32.520 --> 00:25:37.400
to go, okay, like, let's, let's get out of our orphan here for just enough time to

462
00:25:37.400 --> 00:25:41.840
be able to understand, you know, you know, guy and girl, like, are we into each

463
00:25:41.840 --> 00:25:42.240
other?

464
00:25:42.240 --> 00:25:44.600
Is this worth like even working out?

465
00:25:44.640 --> 00:25:46.480
Or is this just a bunch of games?

466
00:25:46.840 --> 00:25:47.920
So sometimes I get that.

467
00:25:47.920 --> 00:25:52.120
So I kind of feel like that's what's going on, but guys, somebody else jump in

468
00:25:52.120 --> 00:25:52.440
here.

469
00:25:52.440 --> 00:25:54.200
If you have questions, comments.

470
00:25:54.800 --> 00:25:56.040
Yeah, I'm open.

471
00:25:59.640 --> 00:26:02.000
I have, I have, I have some questions.

472
00:26:02.240 --> 00:26:09.080
Um, can you tell us what it is about her that you appreciate or feel attracted to?

473
00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:10.320
Yeah.

474
00:26:10.320 --> 00:26:11.840
Um, she's a worshiper.

475
00:26:12.400 --> 00:26:13.400
She's very kind.

476
00:26:13.400 --> 00:26:18.000
And, and, um, she, you know, I'm a father, a spiritual father to a lot, and she's a

477
00:26:18.000 --> 00:26:23.800
spiritual mother, which is, um, I feel safe around her other than the games, right?

478
00:26:23.800 --> 00:26:26.800
Which that's no small feat with my life, right?

479
00:26:27.120 --> 00:26:30.480
Like, you know, um, I actually feel comfortable being around her.

480
00:26:30.520 --> 00:26:39.280
Um, she, I'm at ease, um, like, and, um, yeah, I mean, I'm a, I'm a shabby.

481
00:26:39.280 --> 00:26:40.360
She's, she's beautiful.

482
00:26:40.520 --> 00:26:40.880
Right.

483
00:26:40.880 --> 00:26:41.200
You know?

484
00:26:41.200 --> 00:26:46.840
Um, and I think, uh, the other, the other question, like, or part of this is like,

485
00:26:47.280 --> 00:26:52.280
I'd really like to get her to know her as a friend, but at the same time, I, I

486
00:26:52.280 --> 00:26:55.720
really want, like, it's, it's not just a friendship I'm looking for.

487
00:26:57.000 --> 00:26:57.280
Right.

488
00:26:57.280 --> 00:26:58.760
Like, you know, so it seems disingenuous.

489
00:26:59.120 --> 00:27:00.800
It's like, I'm not, I just want to be friends.

490
00:27:00.800 --> 00:27:02.040
That's not exactly it.

491
00:27:02.080 --> 00:27:05.640
I want to be, I want to see it, be a friend to you and see if this goes

492
00:27:05.640 --> 00:27:08.840
somewhere and how, how does that differ too?

493
00:27:08.920 --> 00:27:10.920
Like, so no, I, I really do.

494
00:27:10.920 --> 00:27:11.720
I do dig her.

495
00:27:11.720 --> 00:27:13.120
I've, I've, I've watched her.

496
00:27:13.280 --> 00:27:15.400
I've observed her with other people.

497
00:27:15.960 --> 00:27:20.600
Um, and I think she's just freaking out a bit.

498
00:27:22.800 --> 00:27:23.200
Two.

499
00:27:23.440 --> 00:27:25.840
Thanks for sharing two, two, two other questions.

500
00:27:25.840 --> 00:27:33.520
The first one is, um, do you feel like anything that you or she are

501
00:27:33.520 --> 00:27:38.720
experiencing might have anything to do with, you mentioned like an abusive

502
00:27:38.720 --> 00:27:44.120
relationship, but, um, have you looked at kind of the, how we love kind of like

503
00:27:44.160 --> 00:27:44.640
attachment?

504
00:27:44.640 --> 00:27:45.440
Oh yeah, no, yeah, no.

505
00:27:45.960 --> 00:27:47.200
I thought she was avoidant.

506
00:27:47.520 --> 00:27:47.880
Right.

507
00:27:47.920 --> 00:27:49.120
And then I was like, screw this.

508
00:27:49.120 --> 00:27:52.640
I'm not dealing with another avoidant, like, you know, but then the

509
00:27:52.640 --> 00:27:53.640
Lord's like, no, she's not.

510
00:27:54.560 --> 00:27:54.800
Oh.

511
00:27:55.160 --> 00:27:58.280
And so I was like, okay, well that kind of screws things up because it would

512
00:27:58.280 --> 00:28:02.880
have been easier just to, to categorize her as an avoidant and just, I just

513
00:28:02.880 --> 00:28:04.040
don't feel like chasing.

514
00:28:04.680 --> 00:28:05.000
Right.

515
00:28:05.040 --> 00:28:09.280
Um, I think she just scared is more, is more what it is.

516
00:28:09.920 --> 00:28:13.120
Um, I don't think she was ready for me.

517
00:28:14.520 --> 00:28:18.960
If she ever, she ever given you a very strong indication at any point in time

518
00:28:19.360 --> 00:28:21.920
that she's like, Hey, I, I'm interested to you.

519
00:28:21.920 --> 00:28:25.680
It's just this, I just feel like a lot of these cues that you're getting are

520
00:28:26.440 --> 00:28:29.040
like very, very vague and nonverbal.

521
00:28:29.240 --> 00:28:31.120
Offered me her number when I asked for it.

522
00:28:32.760 --> 00:28:33.160
Okay.

523
00:28:33.360 --> 00:28:37.600
Like, look, I was, I was, I was dancing around and she's like, do you want my

524
00:28:37.600 --> 00:28:37.880
number?

525
00:28:38.040 --> 00:28:39.400
And she handed it and she gave it to me.

526
00:28:40.480 --> 00:28:40.800
Right.

527
00:28:41.360 --> 00:28:45.280
The question is, is, is she playing head games?

528
00:28:45.600 --> 00:28:47.080
I mean, maybe it's not this clear.

529
00:28:47.080 --> 00:28:50.080
I'm trying, I'm not, I'm trying to be accusatory at all because I don't know

530
00:28:50.200 --> 00:28:50.880
it in this sphere.

531
00:28:50.880 --> 00:28:52.320
Like, I don't really know what's going on.

532
00:28:52.680 --> 00:28:55.560
Or is she just, this is, is this just her way of being flirty?

533
00:28:56.560 --> 00:28:58.440
I mean, it may be as simple as that.

534
00:28:58.440 --> 00:28:59.040
I don't know.

535
00:28:59.040 --> 00:28:59.840
I'm just asking.

536
00:28:59.960 --> 00:29:02.520
That's what, that's why I'm asking like the flirty thing.

537
00:29:02.520 --> 00:29:03.640
Like, I don't know.

538
00:29:04.400 --> 00:29:06.560
So, you know, that's actually something the Lord's been doing.

539
00:29:06.560 --> 00:29:09.800
I've been doing some hard work on, cause my ex hated flirting.

540
00:29:10.320 --> 00:29:15.600
Oh, you know, some, you know, somebody may not really necessarily be good at

541
00:29:15.600 --> 00:29:18.000
flirting and this is just her version of it.

542
00:29:18.000 --> 00:29:19.200
I don't know, necessarily.

543
00:29:20.080 --> 00:29:21.280
And that's what I'm wondering.

544
00:29:21.400 --> 00:29:24.120
And that's why I'm having, I wanted to ask this question.

545
00:29:24.440 --> 00:29:27.440
Is this just her being flirty and like, Hey, come get me.

546
00:29:27.840 --> 00:29:32.120
Or is this like, uh, or, and she's terrible at it.

547
00:29:32.360 --> 00:29:33.480
And then I'm terrible at it.

548
00:29:33.480 --> 00:29:34.560
So where there's a conundrum.

549
00:29:36.120 --> 00:29:39.320
So the bottom line is basically, you're just going to have to, at some point.

550
00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:43.560
Sit down and just have a discussion and go, Hey, what's, what's just

551
00:29:43.760 --> 00:29:46.000
truly just what's going on here?

552
00:29:46.080 --> 00:29:49.480
You know, without trying to be emotional.

553
00:29:49.680 --> 00:29:51.880
Thomas, that was my third question.

554
00:29:51.880 --> 00:29:58.880
It is, um, what do you perceive to be the choice that you're facing right

555
00:29:58.880 --> 00:30:00.040
now about what to do?

556
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:01.600
about it, if anything?

557
00:30:01.600 --> 00:30:05.680
Well, I don't know how to engage or I do not know how to engage her

558
00:30:05.680 --> 00:30:07.960
or whether to engage her.

559
00:30:07.960 --> 00:30:10.960
Right. I'm like, that's the thing is I want to engage.

560
00:30:10.960 --> 00:30:15.320
I want to play. I want to, you know, but at the same time, I just don't know.

561
00:30:16.680 --> 00:30:18.960
And it's I don't want to pee in my own pool

562
00:30:19.200 --> 00:30:21.320
because I just started at this church.

563
00:30:21.720 --> 00:30:23.880
Right. You know, so and she's the pastor's daughter.

564
00:30:25.760 --> 00:30:28.600
So and there's that

565
00:30:29.440 --> 00:30:31.400
no pressure. Who was my attorney?

566
00:30:33.520 --> 00:30:35.080
You know, you can't make this stuff up.

567
00:30:35.080 --> 00:30:39.480
So anybody else got any reactions, any feelings like,

568
00:30:39.920 --> 00:30:42.480
yeah, but I got any intuition.

569
00:30:43.840 --> 00:30:47.800
So I got a chance to talk with a scholar out of Project Truth

570
00:30:48.560 --> 00:30:52.600
lives up in the mountains up above Las Vegas in Cold Creek, Nevada,

571
00:30:53.800 --> 00:30:57.240
talking about some of my issues that I was facing with my gal.

572
00:30:57.720 --> 00:31:01.920
And he's like, you know, David, I've been all over the world

573
00:31:01.920 --> 00:31:06.920
and I've watched tons of couples and people working on being couples interact.

574
00:31:06.920 --> 00:31:09.240
And the biggest thing that I've come to find out is

575
00:31:09.720 --> 00:31:13.000
a lot of people don't know how to act

576
00:31:13.000 --> 00:31:15.320
because they've never been shown.

577
00:31:15.320 --> 00:31:19.440
And so sometimes, you know, in dating,

578
00:31:19.440 --> 00:31:22.240
you're going to have someone that says something or does something

579
00:31:22.240 --> 00:31:25.480
that might be triggering to the other person.

580
00:31:26.120 --> 00:31:30.120
But it's not out of a point of maliciousness or a point of,

581
00:31:30.560 --> 00:31:34.760
oh, let's see if I can break this person down or I can get them to be triggered.

582
00:31:34.760 --> 00:31:38.520
It's just them really just not knowing

583
00:31:39.360 --> 00:31:44.720
how to behave and how to express their emotions appropriately and effectively

584
00:31:45.600 --> 00:31:48.800
because you can't express yourself the same way across the board

585
00:31:49.240 --> 00:31:52.200
for every person you walk into.

586
00:31:52.240 --> 00:31:54.120
Everyone's everyone's different.

587
00:31:54.120 --> 00:31:57.080
Everyone's going to respond a little bit differently.

588
00:31:57.440 --> 00:32:00.040
And it except it especially gets.

589
00:32:02.720 --> 00:32:05.440
Muddy is the wrong term, but it gets a little bit.

590
00:32:06.600 --> 00:32:10.200
Difficult to ascertain responses for

591
00:32:11.920 --> 00:32:13.560
victims of abuse.

592
00:32:13.560 --> 00:32:15.960
The girl that I'm pursuing

593
00:32:16.840 --> 00:32:19.360
is a victim of verbal abuse.

594
00:32:20.360 --> 00:32:23.320
I'm a victim of sexual abuse from my time in the army.

595
00:32:23.880 --> 00:32:27.400
And it's and that's like a trauma that I don't really open up about much at all.

596
00:32:27.800 --> 00:32:30.720
But it's and it's not something I've shared with her whatsoever.

597
00:32:31.360 --> 00:32:34.680
But it's it makes things a little bit different.

598
00:32:36.000 --> 00:32:39.840
It definitely skewed my view on sex

599
00:32:40.240 --> 00:32:43.080
for a long time until I started heartwork.

600
00:32:43.760 --> 00:32:48.200
And I mean, have you asked chat GPT?

601
00:32:49.200 --> 00:32:51.760
Oh, God. No, it's not a good.

602
00:32:51.760 --> 00:32:53.680
I don't want the camera.

603
00:32:53.680 --> 00:32:56.640
I know you got something to say, so.

604
00:32:56.640 --> 00:32:57.640
So, no, I appreciate it.

605
00:32:57.640 --> 00:33:01.240
And I and that was my question is, like, is this her just being terrible

606
00:33:01.240 --> 00:33:04.280
at flirting, also afraid to engage? Right.

607
00:33:04.640 --> 00:33:07.720
But like I say, I'm pretty sure she got decked out

608
00:33:07.720 --> 00:33:12.840
and it was to make sure she is the top target at the church. Right.

609
00:33:13.840 --> 00:33:17.480
And so so my intuition says she's after me,

610
00:33:17.480 --> 00:33:22.440
but it's just been really it's like so I don't I don't know.

611
00:33:22.440 --> 00:33:25.480
It's like I like I'm sort of a straightforward person.

612
00:33:25.960 --> 00:33:29.160
And I know like and I'm trying to get more flirty.

613
00:33:29.160 --> 00:33:31.480
And I realized, actually, it's actually been really good

614
00:33:31.880 --> 00:33:36.840
because I got I had to do some hard work on all the it's like why I'm afraid to flirt.

615
00:33:37.960 --> 00:33:40.840
Right. It's like, oh, yeah, because I got I got flame thrown.

616
00:33:41.320 --> 00:33:45.200
I would I would say this, though, as far as flirting, I mean, girls.

617
00:33:46.200 --> 00:33:49.760
Like flirting for guys is not necessarily trying to be.

618
00:33:50.160 --> 00:33:51.800
You can be a little playful if you want to.

619
00:33:51.800 --> 00:33:53.120
I mean, that's the personality.

620
00:33:53.120 --> 00:33:55.680
I'm sure David. Yeah.

621
00:33:56.760 --> 00:34:00.480
Las Vegas is a little bit of a sort of a playful flirt.

622
00:34:01.160 --> 00:34:04.400
But typically, guys just being charming,

623
00:34:05.320 --> 00:34:08.880
you know, just being like, hey, you know, like cool, suave, charming,

624
00:34:08.880 --> 00:34:12.560
like, you know, kind of like, you know, conversative.

625
00:34:12.880 --> 00:34:17.679
That's actually enough flirtation for most women to be intrigued

626
00:34:17.679 --> 00:34:20.080
or at least have a conversation, I think,

627
00:34:20.080 --> 00:34:23.159
especially if, you know, you're not trying to play a bunch of head games.

628
00:34:23.159 --> 00:34:26.440
But, you know, that's kind of my opinion.

629
00:34:27.639 --> 00:34:29.800
I like to hear that because, yeah, because I'm like, you know,

630
00:34:29.800 --> 00:34:32.360
because there's a gajillion ways things.

631
00:34:32.360 --> 00:34:34.120
Yeah, you don't have you don't have to be Mr.

632
00:34:34.120 --> 00:34:35.480
Like cool about it.

633
00:34:35.480 --> 00:34:37.440
You can just be like genuine.

634
00:34:37.440 --> 00:34:39.880
Yeah. Be enough of a flirtation.

635
00:34:40.679 --> 00:34:42.440
Daniel, John, you got your hand raised.

636
00:34:42.440 --> 00:34:44.280
Go ahead, Daniel. What's up?

637
00:34:46.600 --> 00:34:50.239
Yeah, hey, I was going to ask, so you mentioned that she gave you her number

638
00:34:50.639 --> 00:34:54.239
and I'm well, I guess I have two things, but the first one is, I mean,

639
00:34:54.239 --> 00:34:56.400
did she seem romantically interested?

640
00:34:57.080 --> 00:34:59.160
She sounds like she dropped the hanky.

641
00:34:59.160 --> 00:34:59.960
Have you asked her out?

642
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.920
since then or connected with her?

643
00:35:01.920 --> 00:35:04.360
Well, I haven't because she said she was cocooning.

644
00:35:04.360 --> 00:35:07.760
And then I actually crossed her off.

645
00:35:07.760 --> 00:35:09.840
And then the Lord's like, I want you to go to that church.

646
00:35:09.840 --> 00:35:11.960
And I'm like, no.

647
00:35:11.960 --> 00:35:15.120
And so well, because I also want to honor her.

648
00:35:15.120 --> 00:35:18.760
I didn't want her to show up at her church and be like, you know, what's up?

649
00:35:19.600 --> 00:35:22.120
Yeah. So the playful flirt is,

650
00:35:22.120 --> 00:35:23.800
hey, you know, you're starting to look like a butterfly.

651
00:35:23.800 --> 00:35:25.160
How's the cocooning going?

652
00:35:25.160 --> 00:35:26.360
No, I hadn't like that.

653
00:35:26.360 --> 00:35:29.720
But because that exact thoughts were in my head

654
00:35:29.720 --> 00:35:34.040
and I'm like that, but so, yeah.

655
00:35:35.040 --> 00:35:37.040
But no, I guess.

656
00:35:37.560 --> 00:35:38.760
I was going to say the second one,

657
00:35:38.760 --> 00:35:42.520
I don't know if you guys know Nora McIntosh from the community.

658
00:35:42.760 --> 00:35:44.680
Nora is amazing. Yeah. Yeah, she's great.

659
00:35:44.680 --> 00:35:47.520
She has but she has a podcast called 10 X Boulder,

660
00:35:47.760 --> 00:35:51.120
and it circles around this question, what would you do if you were 10 times bolder?

661
00:35:51.640 --> 00:35:54.440
And I thought that was really helpful that

662
00:35:55.280 --> 00:35:59.120
that podcast came across my feed at just the right time for me.

663
00:35:59.120 --> 00:36:01.120
So I don't know a question.

664
00:36:01.120 --> 00:36:03.040
You don't have to answer it here on the spot, but a question

665
00:36:03.040 --> 00:36:06.680
you may want to ask yourself is, what would you do if you were 10 times older?

666
00:36:08.680 --> 00:36:09.960
That's a great question.

667
00:36:09.960 --> 00:36:11.200
Great question. Yeah.

668
00:36:11.200 --> 00:36:13.000
John, what do you got?

669
00:36:14.280 --> 00:36:18.280
Yeah, and the same thing like Daniel had, I was like, hey,

670
00:36:19.480 --> 00:36:20.800
you said you were cocooning.

671
00:36:20.800 --> 00:36:22.040
Are you a butterfly yet?

672
00:36:22.040 --> 00:36:25.680
Just give it some craft and ask her out after that.

673
00:36:25.680 --> 00:36:27.200
Just go, hey, let's go.

674
00:36:27.200 --> 00:36:28.840
You know, you want to go out and see it.

675
00:36:28.840 --> 00:36:31.760
If she shoots you down, then you'll know. Yeah.

676
00:36:32.160 --> 00:36:34.080
I mean, you put the ball on her court.

677
00:36:34.080 --> 00:36:34.920
Now it's up to her.

678
00:36:34.920 --> 00:36:39.240
And then just, you know, tell her you're dating or whatever or, you know,

679
00:36:40.160 --> 00:36:42.000
that you're not serious.

680
00:36:42.000 --> 00:36:42.880
Let's take a poll.

681
00:36:42.880 --> 00:36:46.760
How many of you raising your hands think that Mike should definitely?

682
00:36:46.760 --> 00:36:50.240
I mean, you got to like break the ice on this.

683
00:36:50.240 --> 00:36:54.720
And whether it's actually just having a real quick conversation

684
00:36:55.120 --> 00:36:57.040
or asking her out.

685
00:36:57.040 --> 00:37:00.720
I mean, if you think Mike's needs to take some action.

686
00:37:00.920 --> 00:37:02.320
Some sort of action.

687
00:37:02.320 --> 00:37:05.560
So, yes, to let to know Mike.

688
00:37:05.560 --> 00:37:07.440
That's true. It's exactly right.

689
00:37:07.440 --> 00:37:11.720
Right. And, you know, and I quit, quit, like quit wondering about it.

690
00:37:11.880 --> 00:37:14.160
You got to just like.

691
00:37:14.160 --> 00:37:17.160
You know, break the ice and whether or not right away.

692
00:37:17.320 --> 00:37:20.920
Yeah. Instead of three months later, you're like, oh, my God, look,

693
00:37:20.920 --> 00:37:23.360
she looked at me, but, you know.

694
00:37:23.360 --> 00:37:24.640
Well, no, I haven't.

695
00:37:24.640 --> 00:37:27.600
Like, I haven't had a lot of chances to engage with her. Right.

696
00:37:28.000 --> 00:37:31.280
And so but I have been looking for that that opportunity.

697
00:37:32.280 --> 00:37:35.000
So, OK. Yeah.

698
00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:36.240
So cool. Thank you.

699
00:37:36.240 --> 00:37:38.480
I just I'm like, is this head games?

700
00:37:38.480 --> 00:37:42.400
Is it she messed in with me or is it just awkwardness?

701
00:37:43.000 --> 00:37:45.880
You don't know till you know. Yeah.

702
00:37:45.880 --> 00:37:47.360
What's up, Josh?

703
00:37:48.960 --> 00:37:51.680
A couple of questions for my and I don't know.

704
00:37:51.760 --> 00:37:54.480
I'm just throwing something at the wall to see if it sticks.

705
00:37:54.840 --> 00:37:57.040
If it doesn't stick, it doesn't stick. Throw it out.

706
00:37:57.680 --> 00:38:01.400
But and it may be or it's too early on or anything like that.

707
00:38:01.400 --> 00:38:05.520
But do you think that with what you know

708
00:38:05.520 --> 00:38:08.920
and observe of her, that she feels safe around her dad?

709
00:38:11.280 --> 00:38:16.880
Yeah. I think it's in the romantic context.

710
00:38:17.880 --> 00:38:19.560
Hmm. Right.

711
00:38:19.560 --> 00:38:21.640
The next question that I have is.

712
00:38:23.360 --> 00:38:27.440
Maybe she's looking for I am I don't know what words to use,

713
00:38:27.440 --> 00:38:30.000
so try to see what I'm trying to say,

714
00:38:30.480 --> 00:38:36.280
but maybe she's looking for someone who if they are befriending her dad,

715
00:38:36.840 --> 00:38:40.680
then she'll feel safer around them because she sees

716
00:38:41.120 --> 00:38:43.160
that they're getting along with her father.

717
00:38:43.160 --> 00:38:46.360
And, you know, then it's almost like a handoff.

718
00:38:46.880 --> 00:38:51.320
Or could be a potential handoff to the, you know, whoever's interested in her.

719
00:38:52.000 --> 00:38:54.320
Well, he likes my dad and, you know.

720
00:38:55.360 --> 00:38:57.080
Yeah. And I'm going to be working with her dad quite a bit.

721
00:38:57.080 --> 00:39:00.880
So, I mean, I'm basically a pastor, but not paid.

722
00:39:02.280 --> 00:39:03.880
You know, I've been doing ministry for 30 years.

723
00:39:03.880 --> 00:39:07.840
So and the interesting thing is, is, you know, that those I mean,

724
00:39:07.840 --> 00:39:09.800
there is sort of that.

725
00:39:09.800 --> 00:39:12.960
You know, the child of the pastor sort of situation

726
00:39:12.960 --> 00:39:16.440
dynamic that happens in churches, but this is also not a situation

727
00:39:16.440 --> 00:39:21.200
where she's like, you know, 18 or 20 or 25.

728
00:39:21.200 --> 00:39:24.640
I mean, she's obviously it's probably 45.

729
00:39:24.880 --> 00:39:26.760
OK, so, yeah. So she's an adult woman.

730
00:39:26.760 --> 00:39:30.160
So that's like a little bit different dynamic in that regard.

731
00:39:30.440 --> 00:39:32.680
It's not like, oh, this is daddy's little girl.

732
00:39:33.360 --> 00:39:36.720
I mean, yes, but at the same time, no.

733
00:39:37.320 --> 00:39:39.760
Well, like as far as that.

734
00:39:40.360 --> 00:39:43.840
So, Thomas, as far as her dad thing, that was why I went there

735
00:39:43.840 --> 00:39:46.240
is to actually help shape the church.

736
00:39:46.960 --> 00:39:51.040
That's why God's calling me there is to do a lot of deliverance things

737
00:39:51.040 --> 00:39:54.360
that need to happen and what I what I carry and what I walk in

738
00:39:54.360 --> 00:39:56.800
is what they want to want to jump into.

739
00:39:57.240 --> 00:39:59.880
So I'm going to build a prophetic team.

740
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.520
I'm gonna build all kinds of stuff.

741
00:40:02.520 --> 00:40:05.880
And so my good friend got hired on there as a pastor

742
00:40:05.880 --> 00:40:07.140
and he and I are,

743
00:40:09.960 --> 00:40:12.200
he's like my best friend, right?

744
00:40:12.200 --> 00:40:13.040
So, yeah.

745
00:40:13.040 --> 00:40:14.960
Yeah, I think that's great

746
00:40:14.960 --> 00:40:16.340
that you're doing all that to me.

747
00:40:16.340 --> 00:40:18.360
I personally would feel concerned

748
00:40:18.360 --> 00:40:21.320
about pursuing someone's dad to get access to the-

749
00:40:21.320 --> 00:40:22.160
Oh yeah, no, no, no.

750
00:40:22.160 --> 00:40:23.320
But you're not doing that.

751
00:40:23.320 --> 00:40:26.400
No, no, like I'm there to build the kingdom

752
00:40:26.400 --> 00:40:29.800
and if she decides to come alongside, that'd be amazing.

753
00:40:29.800 --> 00:40:34.440
But otherwise, but I just am like trying to understand.

754
00:40:34.440 --> 00:40:37.520
It's been a long time since I've, it's like,

755
00:40:37.520 --> 00:40:39.640
yeah, I just wish it was more cut and dry.

756
00:40:39.640 --> 00:40:41.520
You know, and I guess the whole,

757
00:40:41.520 --> 00:40:42.560
I just have to take a swing.

758
00:40:42.560 --> 00:40:45.000
And I just have been reticent

759
00:40:45.000 --> 00:40:46.840
because I just got to the church

760
00:40:46.840 --> 00:40:48.560
and I don't wanna pee in the pool.

761
00:40:48.560 --> 00:40:49.400
Right?

762
00:40:49.400 --> 00:40:52.920
You know, and so, okay, I guess that's a good question.

763
00:40:52.920 --> 00:40:54.640
Being that I'm in this situation,

764
00:40:54.640 --> 00:40:56.280
how would you guys approach that?

765
00:41:00.400 --> 00:41:01.240
Right?

766
00:41:01.240 --> 00:41:02.720
I would say, I would say-

767
00:41:02.720 --> 00:41:04.240
Like, what do you want, man?

768
00:41:04.240 --> 00:41:06.320
Like, what do you really want?

769
00:41:06.320 --> 00:41:07.880
That's a great question, James.

770
00:41:07.880 --> 00:41:09.120
That's a great question.

771
00:41:09.120 --> 00:41:10.320
No, I want her.

772
00:41:10.320 --> 00:41:11.600
I do.

773
00:41:11.600 --> 00:41:12.760
Right?

774
00:41:12.760 --> 00:41:13.600
So-

775
00:41:13.600 --> 00:41:15.960
Create a T-shirt that says,

776
00:41:15.960 --> 00:41:20.960
seeking a single Christian woman for the purposes of,

777
00:41:22.920 --> 00:41:26.880
or respond to my phone number printed on this shirt.

778
00:41:26.880 --> 00:41:27.720
Yeah.

779
00:41:27.720 --> 00:41:30.880
What are those freaking QR codes on my-

780
00:41:30.880 --> 00:41:33.600
Actually not really a bad idea in this day and age.

781
00:41:33.600 --> 00:41:34.440
Hey!

782
00:41:34.440 --> 00:41:37.560
I think Daniel and John gave you

783
00:41:37.560 --> 00:41:39.720
a lot of plausible deniability.

784
00:41:39.720 --> 00:41:43.320
Like, you know, I mean, to like be able to engage,

785
00:41:43.320 --> 00:41:47.600
have a conversation, ask what she talked about.

786
00:41:47.600 --> 00:41:49.840
And then if she's like, oh yeah, I'm still cocooning.

787
00:41:49.840 --> 00:41:52.400
I can't even imagine seeing anybody right now.

788
00:41:52.400 --> 00:41:55.080
I don't feel like you feed in the pool at all.

789
00:41:55.080 --> 00:41:56.040
Yeah, that's the thing.

790
00:41:56.040 --> 00:41:58.360
It is interesting that you've actually gotten already

791
00:41:58.360 --> 00:42:00.240
the feedback of the cocooning thing.

792
00:42:00.240 --> 00:42:04.680
So that was a very specific sort of like response,

793
00:42:07.480 --> 00:42:09.080
whether it's genuine or not,

794
00:42:09.080 --> 00:42:10.960
or whether that was just saying something

795
00:42:10.960 --> 00:42:12.960
just to like put somebody off.

796
00:42:12.960 --> 00:42:14.480
I'm not really sure yet.

797
00:42:14.480 --> 00:42:17.120
Yeah, I do think it was legit, right?

798
00:42:17.120 --> 00:42:18.600
Yeah, sure.

799
00:42:18.600 --> 00:42:19.920
Cocoons are temporary.

800
00:42:19.920 --> 00:42:22.320
So I would just check in.

801
00:42:22.320 --> 00:42:24.160
Hey, I just wanted to check in,

802
00:42:24.160 --> 00:42:26.000
see how the cocooning is going.

803
00:42:26.960 --> 00:42:28.400
It's springtime or it's summertime.

804
00:42:28.400 --> 00:42:30.400
You're looking like a butterfly, whatever you want.

805
00:42:30.400 --> 00:42:33.520
Well, she came all dressed up too, right?

806
00:42:33.520 --> 00:42:38.160
Sprinkle some chocolate for the cocooning process.

807
00:42:38.160 --> 00:42:39.720
Just like, here we go.

808
00:42:40.600 --> 00:42:43.160
In case you need it for the cocooning.

809
00:42:43.160 --> 00:42:44.200
There you go.

810
00:42:44.200 --> 00:42:45.040
So, cool.

811
00:42:45.040 --> 00:42:45.880
Thank you guys.

812
00:42:45.880 --> 00:42:48.880
Yeah, no, it's crazy.

813
00:42:48.880 --> 00:42:52.320
Okay, guys, who else?

814
00:42:52.320 --> 00:42:55.000
Hey, I saw this meme real fast.

815
00:42:55.040 --> 00:42:56.520
It was some guy went up to some girl

816
00:42:56.520 --> 00:42:58.640
that he thought was, you know, attractive

817
00:42:58.640 --> 00:43:00.360
and he talked to her and she was with her friends

818
00:43:00.360 --> 00:43:03.000
and he's all, hey, and she's all, yeah,

819
00:43:03.000 --> 00:43:04.840
like totally played it off.

820
00:43:04.840 --> 00:43:07.600
And he walks back and he's all, yeah, she blew me off.

821
00:43:07.600 --> 00:43:09.120
And it shows her and her three friends

822
00:43:09.120 --> 00:43:12.280
like jumping for joy, like, oh, you talked to me?

823
00:43:12.280 --> 00:43:14.680
Oh, it's like so confusing.

824
00:43:14.680 --> 00:43:16.320
You know what I mean?

825
00:43:16.320 --> 00:43:17.760
And I told my friends I'm all,

826
00:43:17.760 --> 00:43:20.200
unless a woman totally puts it out there.

827
00:43:20.200 --> 00:43:23.640
And if she's just like, we're just like, yeah, whatever.

828
00:43:24.080 --> 00:43:28.040
But they get all excited and they're kind of,

829
00:43:28.040 --> 00:43:29.360
you know, it's funny.

830
00:43:31.760 --> 00:43:32.920
Very different worlds.

831
00:43:32.920 --> 00:43:33.960
Yeah.

832
00:43:33.960 --> 00:43:36.280
Yeah, definitely saw a video this week

833
00:43:36.280 --> 00:43:40.440
of a young lady who was pursuing a man

834
00:43:41.720 --> 00:43:43.080
for a change of things.

835
00:43:44.720 --> 00:43:46.280
And she's like, well, I saw this cute guy

836
00:43:46.280 --> 00:43:47.640
in the grocery aisle.

837
00:43:47.640 --> 00:43:49.600
And then like, I followed him around the corner

838
00:43:49.600 --> 00:43:51.400
and then I went in the same checkout line.

839
00:43:51.480 --> 00:43:52.600
Daniel saw the reel.

840
00:43:53.880 --> 00:43:55.680
He already knows where this goes.

841
00:43:55.680 --> 00:43:58.160
And so I leaned over and like took a picture

842
00:43:58.160 --> 00:43:59.720
of his credit card information.

843
00:43:59.720 --> 00:44:02.520
Then I entered it onto Facebook and then I found his mother

844
00:44:02.520 --> 00:44:05.560
and then I joined his mother's Bible study group.

845
00:44:05.560 --> 00:44:07.320
And then I just waited until, you know,

846
00:44:07.320 --> 00:44:09.280
we got through a few different studies

847
00:44:09.280 --> 00:44:12.680
and then finally said, by the way, I'm single.

848
00:44:13.840 --> 00:44:15.480
And like the person watching the video

849
00:44:15.480 --> 00:44:17.680
like rips his keyboard off the desk.

850
00:44:17.680 --> 00:44:20.320
He's like lost faith in humanity.

851
00:44:20.320 --> 00:44:21.200
Oh my gosh.

852
00:44:22.080 --> 00:44:23.040
That's scary.

853
00:44:23.040 --> 00:44:24.960
That's one way to do it.

854
00:44:24.960 --> 00:44:27.960
Joshua, if you have your hands raised,

855
00:44:27.960 --> 00:44:29.640
what do you have to add to this

856
00:44:29.640 --> 00:44:32.360
or steer us in a different direction?

857
00:44:32.360 --> 00:44:35.720
Yeah, steer us in a different, change the rudder.

858
00:44:38.480 --> 00:44:41.560
I'll share a little bit of my current situation.

859
00:44:44.840 --> 00:44:47.160
I go to a Messianic synagogue.

860
00:44:47.160 --> 00:44:48.840
For those of you who don't know what that is,

861
00:44:48.840 --> 00:44:52.840
that's a synagogue where there are both Jewish

862
00:44:52.840 --> 00:44:54.600
and Gentile believers.

863
00:44:56.120 --> 00:44:58.120
Cause you know, Paul was a Jew in the New Testament

864
00:44:58.120 --> 00:44:59.840
and he's forming these churches,

865
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:09.360
Ecclesia. So it's been really cool. And I go to this, around

866
00:45:09.360 --> 00:45:12.240
September, October last year, I was going to the Shabbat group

867
00:45:12.240 --> 00:45:15.840
and that's Sabbath. So every Friday nights when Sabbath

868
00:45:15.840 --> 00:45:19.840
begins, and it's just been a really, like spiritually

869
00:45:19.840 --> 00:45:23.440
insightful, but growing thing for me. I've led the Passover

870
00:45:23.440 --> 00:45:28.520
Seder we had as a group this last April. I really have a

871
00:45:28.520 --> 00:45:34.440
teaching gift. One of the two women that formed the group, her

872
00:45:34.440 --> 00:45:43.080
name is Brooke. I asked her out in November, she said no. And

873
00:45:43.080 --> 00:45:47.000
she was just straight up. And I called her, she was busy. So she

874
00:45:47.000 --> 00:45:50.840
texted me back and said, I needed some time to think about

875
00:45:50.840 --> 00:45:54.280
it. But I don't think I'm interested in seeing you that

876
00:45:54.280 --> 00:45:57.080
way. And then she was just straight up like there's this

877
00:45:57.080 --> 00:46:00.680
other guy named Chris, I'm kind of waiting for, because I think

878
00:46:00.680 --> 00:46:05.080
they had a thing before, but she was waiting. And so, yeah, it

879
00:46:05.080 --> 00:46:07.960
so happened that Chris came into our community and they've

880
00:46:07.960 --> 00:46:18.920
been dating, I guess strongly since January. It's been hard.

881
00:46:18.920 --> 00:46:25.800
Honestly, like I'd gotten over it, I thought, I thought. And I

882
00:46:25.800 --> 00:46:30.600
guess just there, it's a whole story, but I, with a whole lot

883
00:46:30.600 --> 00:46:35.400
of different elements, but I guess something happened in April

884
00:46:35.400 --> 00:46:43.320
or May, like after the Passover Seder, where something just

885
00:46:43.320 --> 00:46:49.000
happened. I went, so Brooke's parents have some land out in

886
00:46:49.000 --> 00:46:53.480
East Texas. And originally I was like, no, I'm not going to go

887
00:46:53.480 --> 00:46:57.080
out there. I'm not going to put my heart in a, in a bad

888
00:46:57.080 --> 00:47:02.920
situation. But I thought like I was over it and I, I've dated a

889
00:47:02.920 --> 00:47:07.640
few different people, ladies in the springtime. I've been going

890
00:47:07.640 --> 00:47:13.480
over this material by Dr. Henry Cloud. He's a dating coach, has

891
00:47:13.480 --> 00:47:18.200
been one for like 27 years. And I've been doing non-exclusive

892
00:47:18.200 --> 00:47:23.240
dating this year, which is kind of a first for me. So I've been

893
00:47:23.240 --> 00:47:30.040
growing, but anyway, I ended up going to her parents' place and

894
00:47:30.040 --> 00:47:36.040
for some reason, I just, I just did not enjoy it at all. I was,

895
00:47:36.040 --> 00:47:40.840
besides me and Chris, I was like the only guy there. And nothing

896
00:47:40.840 --> 00:47:43.240
like inappropriate was happening. You know, there are

897
00:47:43.240 --> 00:47:50.600
people around, but something, I think that was a moment where

898
00:47:50.600 --> 00:47:53.320
something in my heart fragmented. It's the best way I

899
00:47:53.320 --> 00:47:54.120
could describe it.

900
00:47:55.400 --> 00:47:58.280
Was this an event at this property?

901
00:47:58.280 --> 00:48:03.160
No, it was like a camping trip. So they have, they have acreage,

902
00:48:03.160 --> 00:48:04.200
they have land.

903
00:48:04.200 --> 00:48:07.560
Oh, so you were invited to go with a group of people.

904
00:48:07.560 --> 00:48:13.640
Yeah. But we have our own group chat. So I know there's a lot of

905
00:48:13.640 --> 00:48:18.920
details I'm kind of sharing. I'm trying, trying to get simple

906
00:48:18.920 --> 00:48:25.960
synopsis of what it is, but for some reason, yeah.

907
00:48:25.960 --> 00:48:29.720
Okay. So this is this, this woman, Brooke, that you're

908
00:48:29.720 --> 00:48:32.840
interested in, but first time you talked with her and asked

909
00:48:32.840 --> 00:48:36.520
her out, she said, no, I'm interested in somebody else. And

910
00:48:36.520 --> 00:48:40.040
since that time, as far as you know, they're dating and, and

911
00:48:40.040 --> 00:48:41.720
they're still dating. Is that correct?

912
00:48:41.720 --> 00:48:43.560
Oh yeah. Yeah. They're still together.

913
00:48:43.560 --> 00:48:44.200
We go to the same...

914
00:48:44.200 --> 00:48:48.840
But for some reason, you went pretty deep, pretty quickly with

915
00:48:48.840 --> 00:48:53.800
this person in your own heart and your mind thinking, this is

916
00:48:53.800 --> 00:48:56.440
somebody I'd like to get to know, but she told you right

917
00:48:56.440 --> 00:49:01.800
away that she wasn't really not only interested, but she

918
00:49:01.800 --> 00:49:03.800
actually wasn't really available because she, her heart

919
00:49:03.800 --> 00:49:06.360
was counting on somebody else that they were talking to and

920
00:49:06.360 --> 00:49:11.480
now they're dating. So question is, is what's, what's going on

921
00:49:11.480 --> 00:49:19.880
there? Because I'd understand, I would understand holding on

922
00:49:19.880 --> 00:49:27.000
to and sort of having these feelings, whatever emotions, if

923
00:49:27.000 --> 00:49:30.360
you had actually been in some sort of relationship with this

924
00:49:30.360 --> 00:49:35.720
person, maybe been on, you know, they were a person that you

925
00:49:35.720 --> 00:49:42.680
were connected to specifically, even dating maybe, but as far

926
00:49:42.680 --> 00:49:45.160
as we know, as far as basically what you told us, that's the,

927
00:49:45.160 --> 00:49:47.320
that's the depth of the relationship is that you just

928
00:49:47.320 --> 00:49:48.680
knew her. Is that correct?

929
00:49:51.160 --> 00:49:54.360
Yeah. Like we, we never got romantically involved or

930
00:49:54.360 --> 00:49:55.640
anything like that.

931
00:49:55.640 --> 00:49:57.640
And you never even went on one date?

932
00:49:57.640 --> 00:49:59.320
No, no, we haven't.

933
00:49:59.320 --> 00:49:59.820
Okay.

934
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:03.000
Yeah.

935
00:50:03.000 --> 00:50:11.640
So any questions guys for Josh finish your story or share, kind of like, I'd like an

936
00:50:11.640 --> 00:50:25.800
additional 30 seconds, but yeah I ever since that moment like something just changed, and

937
00:50:25.800 --> 00:50:34.440
I decided this. I've just, I kind of not like I wasn't trying to do it in a bad way, but

938
00:50:34.440 --> 00:50:39.920
I've stayed away from the Shabbat group pretty much ever since, like me to the group chat,

939
00:50:39.920 --> 00:50:45.240
I've, I'm not out of community I found other places to be in like old communities that

940
00:50:45.240 --> 00:50:53.040
I was in before Baruch Hashem, my messianic synagogue and so I'm not out of community.

941
00:50:53.040 --> 00:50:58.800
I've just, and the Lord had me start the heart work about three weeks ago.

942
00:50:58.800 --> 00:51:04.960
So I'm in the forgiveness part right now, and I've just, I've been trying to guard my

943
00:51:04.960 --> 00:51:10.120
heart from like any further, whatever.

944
00:51:10.120 --> 00:51:11.480
I'm just confused.

945
00:51:11.480 --> 00:51:13.600
I don't really.

946
00:51:13.600 --> 00:51:21.000
I thought I was over Baruch, and that was one reason why I went on the camping trip

947
00:51:21.000 --> 00:51:29.280
like I was just right before the camping trip, like I sent her a text, and I was dating

948
00:51:29.280 --> 00:51:35.840
this other girl, not exclusively, and I was, I thought I was asking a legitimate question,

949
00:51:35.840 --> 00:51:40.840
which was, hey, like, do you have a shower I could use while I'm there because I, I hate

950
00:51:40.840 --> 00:51:44.440
feeling grimy, like I'm just one of those guys like I just, I hate feeling grimy.

951
00:51:51.800 --> 00:51:54.600
I think you froze.

952
00:51:54.600 --> 00:51:56.840
I think your internet froze, Josh, sorry.

953
00:51:56.840 --> 00:51:57.840
Yeah.

954
00:51:57.840 --> 00:52:05.160
I don't know if he's coming back.

955
00:52:05.160 --> 00:52:08.000
If you can hear us, Josh, you're frozen right now, so I'm not really sure what's going on

956
00:52:08.000 --> 00:52:09.000
with your internet.

957
00:52:09.000 --> 00:52:12.000
Yeah, you know, haha, like laughing emoji.

958
00:52:12.000 --> 00:52:16.000
Is it better now?

959
00:52:16.000 --> 00:52:20.600
Yeah, you froze, you froze there for about 10 seconds.

960
00:52:20.600 --> 00:52:26.760
I don't know why it's been doing, yeah, so I sent Brooke this text, you know, just saying

961
00:52:26.760 --> 00:52:32.040
like, hey, can I just use the shower when I'm there, and when she responded, I guess

962
00:52:32.040 --> 00:52:34.360
my heart thought it was like flirtatious.

963
00:52:34.360 --> 00:52:35.360
Obviously it wasn't.

964
00:52:35.360 --> 00:52:45.760
She's just, you know, responding, but all of a sudden my heart just felt like bad.

965
00:52:45.760 --> 00:52:53.080
It just felt like a knife entered my chest, and I was just really fighting in prayer,

966
00:52:53.080 --> 00:52:55.800
and I felt like, I was like, is this the enemy?

967
00:52:55.800 --> 00:52:56.800
Is this the Lord speaking?

968
00:52:56.800 --> 00:53:01.560
And I felt like the Lord was just saying, you might be third wheeling if you go, and

969
00:53:01.560 --> 00:53:05.640
I was looking forward to going, then all of a sudden I'm in this moment where I have to

970
00:53:05.640 --> 00:53:11.760
go because it's like an hour and a half away, and they're waiting for me before they start.

971
00:53:11.760 --> 00:53:17.280
And so I don't know, I just, I didn't have a good time at all the entire time.

972
00:53:17.280 --> 00:53:25.200
And I mean, I thought I was good for like half a year, like with Brooke and the rest

973
00:53:25.200 --> 00:53:34.120
of the community, so I don't really know what happened, but yeah, so that's, there's more

974
00:53:34.120 --> 00:53:35.120
to the story.

975
00:53:35.120 --> 00:53:38.480
There was one other girl I was potentially interested in, in the group, I felt like we

976
00:53:38.480 --> 00:53:40.200
were connecting a little emotionally too fast.

977
00:53:40.200 --> 00:53:47.320
I know I'm adding another facet to the story, but if anyone has any questions, I can answer.

978
00:53:47.320 --> 00:53:52.520
But yeah, so if anyone wants to talk or have any questions or.

979
00:53:52.520 --> 00:53:59.680
So you know, as somebody who connects quickly, I can kind of relate in some ways.

980
00:53:59.680 --> 00:54:05.560
You know, there's just a, you know, what's concerning is that you don't feel like going

981
00:54:05.560 --> 00:54:08.600
back to the group, right?

982
00:54:08.600 --> 00:54:11.080
Which tells me that your heart's really hurt by it, right?

983
00:54:11.080 --> 00:54:15.440
Like, you know, and so a lot of times what I have to do is even though it's stupid and

984
00:54:15.440 --> 00:54:19.880
it was like, it's not stupid, actually, I get to say that, I say that to myself, but

985
00:54:19.880 --> 00:54:21.640
really, I just, I know how to connect well.

986
00:54:21.640 --> 00:54:24.520
I just don't always choose the best things.

987
00:54:24.520 --> 00:54:26.640
I just have to grieve the loss.

988
00:54:26.640 --> 00:54:31.640
And sometimes the grief, it's not just a one-time thing, and then you think you're over it,

989
00:54:31.640 --> 00:54:35.440
and then you see them again, and you're like, and then there's that twinge, and you just,

990
00:54:35.440 --> 00:54:37.920
you grieve it again.

991
00:54:37.920 --> 00:54:43.160
Or you may, I've had to break soul ties with people because, you know, I generated a soul

992
00:54:43.160 --> 00:54:44.160
tie.

993
00:54:44.160 --> 00:54:49.840
And, you know, so I just like, you know, there's some people who are amazing, but they're just

994
00:54:49.840 --> 00:54:52.200
not meant to be in your life, right?

995
00:54:52.200 --> 00:54:59.880
And come and grieving that loss, you know, and so, you know, because, you know, usually

996
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:06.080
you don't like I run away like you want to run away from things right like you know like I don't

997
00:55:06.080 --> 00:55:10.400
want to go there because it reminds me of the pain that's in my chest and my heart that's

998
00:55:10.400 --> 00:55:15.040
crushed right and I'm like we didn't even have a relationship this is so stupid but it's not

999
00:55:15.040 --> 00:55:20.640
because you connected right and you had you had you had something that you wanted and you know

1000
00:55:21.200 --> 00:55:26.160
whether it was you know and so it was legitimate to you whether it actually came to fruition is a

1001
00:55:26.160 --> 00:55:32.320
whole nother thing and that is why I've had to be really careful in I have had to work on myself and

1002
00:55:32.320 --> 00:55:37.200
jumping in right and and I kind of went the complete other direction where I didn't want

1003
00:55:37.200 --> 00:55:42.720
to jump in with anybody right but I just encourage you to grieve it it's you know and it's okay

1004
00:55:43.840 --> 00:55:49.920
you know it's okay it's a loss you know it may not be that you had a huge relationship

1005
00:55:50.400 --> 00:55:56.560
but your heart's telling you it's a loss and you just let you you just the only way the only way to

1006
00:55:58.000 --> 00:56:02.080
only way to get through it is to grieve through it right and just you know and just let it

1007
00:56:02.800 --> 00:56:07.760
and then move on but like the way to freedom is you just have to let the parts of your heart heal

1008
00:56:07.760 --> 00:56:15.920
that feel hurt and let them be hurt so that's just my two cents that's what I do right and I and

1009
00:56:15.920 --> 00:56:21.280
you're not alone because I have a lot of things and I have to be careful because even in this even

1010
00:56:21.280 --> 00:56:25.520
telling you about this I have a lot of negative language towards myself because I'm like this

1011
00:56:25.520 --> 00:56:33.680
this feels so dumb right but yeah so just I just grieve it and lament break soul ties and soul

1012
00:56:33.680 --> 00:56:42.160
ties to even ideas right like the idea that the dream the thought the like so you which is a

1013
00:56:42.160 --> 00:56:50.560
connection right so does that make sense no yeah I I will respond to that Mike and I appreciate

1014
00:56:50.560 --> 00:57:04.320
you saying that yeah I mean this is a perfect example of very very like very simple I don't

1015
00:57:04.320 --> 00:57:09.040
want to undervalue it but just a very simple example of just being extremely transparent

1016
00:57:09.040 --> 00:57:16.080
and vulnerable in your heart in your mind you put yourself out there even though again there

1017
00:57:16.080 --> 00:57:24.640
wasn't any kind of extended relationship with this person but to you your level of vulnerability

1018
00:57:24.640 --> 00:57:35.760
transparency in the situation and you carrying this on it's extremely open and an extremely

1019
00:57:36.640 --> 00:57:42.880
um fragile you know in a way and then all of a sudden you're faced with another sort of

1020
00:57:42.880 --> 00:57:50.400
situational type of thing that then brings up a lot of emotions back to this and so forth and

1021
00:57:50.400 --> 00:57:55.040
you know however you're processing that like Mike's sharing like you know sometimes in these

1022
00:57:55.040 --> 00:57:59.920
situations he's like this is so ridiculous I see it seems like this is so like you know

1023
00:58:00.640 --> 00:58:07.040
beyond me but at the same time I'm feeling it you know like it's sincere and I think I think to all

1024
00:58:07.040 --> 00:58:15.840
of us if we're honest with ourselves we have these you know vulnerabilities that we don't want to

1025
00:58:17.280 --> 00:58:23.520
go into because you know maybe you've been going along in life for some time and you've hardened

1026
00:58:23.520 --> 00:58:28.240
your heart in a lot of ways to some of these vulnerabilities some of these emotional things

1027
00:58:29.120 --> 00:58:34.480
and um I just want to say that you know that the truth that she gave you at first

1028
00:58:35.600 --> 00:58:44.240
is really a gift because like Mike's saying you know like sometimes people you know they're just

1029
00:58:44.240 --> 00:58:49.200
not the the person that's going to be that's not the person you know not only not the person in

1030
00:58:49.200 --> 00:58:56.800
terms of like the one but like it's not a person for you um at whatever level and that level of

1031
00:58:56.880 --> 00:59:07.760
truth as harsh and as maybe um as difficult as that can be to to to receive and then obviously

1032
00:59:07.760 --> 00:59:11.840
you've been carrying this around and processes and even something another situation comes up and

1033
00:59:11.840 --> 00:59:19.600
then creates these feelings again very very important to you but that truth that level of

1034
00:59:19.600 --> 00:59:25.360
truth and that level of honesty just like no you know that's a gift and I'll tell you this I

1035
00:59:25.360 --> 00:59:33.360
experience a level of truth and honesty in my own life this past week that is shaking me to the core

1036
00:59:34.960 --> 00:59:41.520
you know shaking to me the core even in my own personal pursuit and who I am and what I want

1037
00:59:42.320 --> 00:59:50.320
in my marriage in my personal life and my family and it's a bit of truth that I'm having to

1038
00:59:50.320 --> 00:59:59.760
deal with and accept and to to process but it's a gift because it's an opportunity for

1039
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:01.560
for me to pivot.

1040
01:00:01.560 --> 01:00:04.440
It's an opportunity for me to shift.

1041
01:00:04.440 --> 01:00:08.040
It's an opportunity for me to grow.

1042
01:00:08.040 --> 01:00:09.840
And you have to look at it this way,

1043
01:00:09.840 --> 01:00:12.160
rather than like, yeah, there's the loss,

1044
01:00:12.160 --> 01:00:14.640
there's the emotional part of it, there's like that.

1045
01:00:14.640 --> 01:00:17.000
And it's okay to process that like Mike's talking about.

1046
01:00:17.000 --> 01:00:18.960
And I agree with that, you know?

1047
01:00:18.960 --> 01:00:21.620
And I'm sorry that you experienced that.

1048
01:00:21.620 --> 01:00:23.640
But at the same time,

1049
01:00:23.640 --> 01:00:27.640
you also wanna look at this as an opportunity to say,

1050
01:00:27.640 --> 01:00:28.960
you know what?

1051
01:00:29.040 --> 01:00:34.040
I can pivot from here because there's more for me.

1052
01:00:34.120 --> 01:00:35.120
This isn't just it.

1053
01:00:35.120 --> 01:00:39.220
This is obviously a hard no, a hard pass,

1054
01:00:40.300 --> 01:00:42.400
and I'm gonna get beyond this.

1055
01:00:42.400 --> 01:00:45.200
But at the same time, where's the growth point for me?

1056
01:00:45.200 --> 01:00:46.600
And it's just kind of interesting

1057
01:00:46.600 --> 01:00:48.240
that you're going through the heartwork right now.

1058
01:00:48.240 --> 01:00:53.240
The heartwork is supposed to be that season of time

1059
01:00:54.500 --> 01:00:57.160
where you're giving yourself permission,

1060
01:00:57.160 --> 01:00:58.600
you're giving life permission,

1061
01:00:59.240 --> 01:01:00.840
you're giving God permission

1062
01:01:00.840 --> 01:01:03.280
to be completely honest with you.

1063
01:01:04.200 --> 01:01:06.840
And whether you feel like you're at step one

1064
01:01:06.840 --> 01:01:11.720
or you're step 101 or 1001 in life,

1065
01:01:11.720 --> 01:01:13.560
life experience, whatever,

1066
01:01:14.880 --> 01:01:16.920
doesn't matter where you're at.

1067
01:01:16.920 --> 01:01:18.740
Truth is truth.

1068
01:01:18.740 --> 01:01:20.080
Pivot is pivot.

1069
01:01:21.560 --> 01:01:24.920
Opportunity for growth is opportunity.

1070
01:01:26.000 --> 01:01:28.320
And to wherever level you're at,

1071
01:01:29.040 --> 01:01:30.880
and this is to everyone on this call,

1072
01:01:30.880 --> 01:01:35.880
if you're not seeking the invitation to know the truth,

1073
01:01:36.960 --> 01:01:40.680
face the truth, and then decide, where am I gonna grow?

1074
01:01:40.680 --> 01:01:42.380
Where am I gonna go from here?

1075
01:01:44.480 --> 01:01:47.600
Then you're just kind of skating through.

1076
01:01:49.040 --> 01:01:51.400
Now, that doesn't mean that every day

1077
01:01:51.400 --> 01:01:53.080
you're trying to find hard truths

1078
01:01:53.080 --> 01:01:55.600
and all day long and life sucks.

1079
01:01:55.600 --> 01:02:00.320
I'm just saying that the process of getting

1080
01:02:00.320 --> 01:02:03.880
everything that's dissatisfying in your life,

1081
01:02:03.880 --> 01:02:06.640
and again, you may not be being reminded of it

1082
01:02:06.640 --> 01:02:08.560
every second of every day,

1083
01:02:08.560 --> 01:02:10.560
but there are moments from day to day

1084
01:02:10.560 --> 01:02:12.400
or maybe from week to week

1085
01:02:12.400 --> 01:02:14.280
where you're like, man, this sucks.

1086
01:02:14.280 --> 01:02:15.880
And there's little things that remind you.

1087
01:02:15.880 --> 01:02:18.480
And then there's also big events

1088
01:02:18.480 --> 01:02:19.840
that happen in your life and seasons

1089
01:02:19.840 --> 01:02:22.540
where it's like, it's really reminding you.

1090
01:02:22.540 --> 01:02:24.020
But it's the same thing.

1091
01:02:24.860 --> 01:02:28.580
It's an invitation to say, where are you going?

1092
01:02:29.580 --> 01:02:30.840
What do you want?

1093
01:02:31.740 --> 01:02:33.260
I don't know if you guys caught,

1094
01:02:33.260 --> 01:02:36.900
some of you, if you've seen the last Sunday night,

1095
01:02:36.900 --> 01:02:39.820
I did an extended teaching on what do you want,

1096
01:02:39.820 --> 01:02:43.060
that question, and you probably should go back

1097
01:02:43.060 --> 01:02:43.900
and watch that.

1098
01:02:43.900 --> 01:02:47.260
It was the Sunday night activation last week.

1099
01:02:47.260 --> 01:02:51.700
So not yesterday Sunday, but the Sunday week ago.

1100
01:02:52.700 --> 01:02:53.860
And go watch that.

1101
01:02:53.860 --> 01:02:56.300
And it's all about the what do you want question

1102
01:02:56.300 --> 01:03:01.300
and why what do you want is the most important question.

1103
01:03:01.460 --> 01:03:03.840
And even James asked it tonight.

1104
01:03:03.840 --> 01:03:08.260
He said, well, the answer is what do you want?

1105
01:03:08.260 --> 01:03:09.880
What do you want to do?

1106
01:03:09.880 --> 01:03:11.220
What do you want to do with this situation?

1107
01:03:11.220 --> 01:03:12.500
Like, what do you want?

1108
01:03:12.500 --> 01:03:14.640
That's the only way to get clarity.

1109
01:03:15.560 --> 01:03:17.180
And so like in Joshua's situation,

1110
01:03:17.180 --> 01:03:19.380
it's like, Joshua, you have to ask yourself,

1111
01:03:20.300 --> 01:03:21.220
what do I want?

1112
01:03:22.500 --> 01:03:24.460
If your answer is I want Brooke

1113
01:03:24.460 --> 01:03:26.340
because that was what you were focusing

1114
01:03:26.340 --> 01:03:28.320
your manifestation on,

1115
01:03:29.820 --> 01:03:32.500
that's obviously not an option

1116
01:03:32.500 --> 01:03:35.540
because you've been given that hard truth.

1117
01:03:35.540 --> 01:03:36.820
So then you have to ask,

1118
01:03:36.820 --> 01:03:38.700
you're coming back around to yourself again,

1119
01:03:38.700 --> 01:03:40.340
like, okay, well, what do I want?

1120
01:03:41.800 --> 01:03:43.460
And it's hard.

1121
01:03:43.460 --> 01:03:47.340
It's not easy, but it's so worth it

1122
01:03:47.340 --> 01:03:49.940
to be able to go on this journey.

1123
01:03:51.980 --> 01:03:54.460
And you may be sitting here thinking,

1124
01:03:54.460 --> 01:03:56.660
in this call in and of itself,

1125
01:03:56.660 --> 01:03:58.940
just with this group of guys tonight,

1126
01:03:58.940 --> 01:04:00.660
you may be thinking,

1127
01:04:00.660 --> 01:04:03.300
I don't resonate with anything that was said tonight,

1128
01:04:04.700 --> 01:04:08.160
but the question still remains to you, what do you want?

1129
01:04:11.100 --> 01:04:13.740
What do you, where do you want to go from here?

1130
01:04:13.740 --> 01:04:14.780
What do you want?

1131
01:04:18.260 --> 01:04:20.340
You may even be in a season today or this week,

1132
01:04:20.340 --> 01:04:22.220
this month, or like, things are actually pretty cool.

1133
01:04:22.220 --> 01:04:23.940
My life's pretty good.

1134
01:04:23.940 --> 01:04:24.780
That's good.

1135
01:04:26.340 --> 01:04:27.880
Sooner or later, it will come around

1136
01:04:27.880 --> 01:04:30.220
to a little bit of a situation

1137
01:04:30.220 --> 01:04:32.260
and you'll be faced with like,

1138
01:04:32.260 --> 01:04:36.220
oh, this again, or this person again,

1139
01:04:36.220 --> 01:04:41.220
or this thing again, or this whatever, fill in the blank.

1140
01:04:42.500 --> 01:04:45.020
And it's an opportunity

1141
01:04:45.380 --> 01:04:49.220
that your life specifically, as it's lined up,

1142
01:04:49.220 --> 01:04:53.580
is facing you to force,

1143
01:04:54.660 --> 01:04:59.660
to face the truth of the reality of the decision.

1144
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:05.000
and the situation that you're in, you know?

1145
01:05:05.200 --> 01:05:06.040
A lot of times-

1146
01:05:06.040 --> 01:05:10.760
It's begging the question for you, what do you want?

1147
01:05:10.760 --> 01:05:14.360
A lot of times it's self-reflection for me sometimes

1148
01:05:14.360 --> 01:05:17.200
is if you're attracting unavailable people,

1149
01:05:17.200 --> 01:05:19.520
well then am I really available?

1150
01:05:19.520 --> 01:05:22.400
Because it's safe to have unavailable people

1151
01:05:22.400 --> 01:05:27.400
that you're attracting because now you have safety

1152
01:05:28.400 --> 01:05:31.880
you have safety of like, oh, you know,

1153
01:05:31.880 --> 01:05:34.280
they're unavailable when the self-reflection

1154
01:05:34.280 --> 01:05:37.160
is that you're attracting people

1155
01:05:37.160 --> 01:05:38.960
because you're not available.

1156
01:05:38.960 --> 01:05:41.600
And that's something that you need to look at sometimes

1157
01:05:41.600 --> 01:05:44.920
of how available am I really for a true relationship?

1158
01:05:44.920 --> 01:05:48.600
Am I seeking people who aren't really ready

1159
01:05:48.600 --> 01:05:51.760
because I'm not really ready and they're safe?

1160
01:05:53.000 --> 01:05:54.200
You know?

1161
01:05:54.200 --> 01:05:56.480
Yeah, it's a question coming back around

1162
01:05:56.480 --> 01:05:59.400
to just really saying to yourself,

1163
01:05:59.400 --> 01:06:04.400
where is, what am I learning from this situation?

1164
01:06:09.320 --> 01:06:10.760
You know?

1165
01:06:10.760 --> 01:06:15.160
And I dare say, what are we learning from it?

1166
01:06:15.160 --> 01:06:17.240
Because then that can put you in a seeking mode

1167
01:06:17.240 --> 01:06:19.760
like as in, I'm just seeking, seeking, seeking,

1168
01:06:19.760 --> 01:06:21.880
I'm trying to find answers.

1169
01:06:21.880 --> 01:06:24.480
Instead of, that's why, again,

1170
01:06:25.200 --> 01:06:26.840
I hate to keep harping on this,

1171
01:06:26.840 --> 01:06:28.080
but this is kind of like the point

1172
01:06:28.080 --> 01:06:29.760
I'm really trying to drive at

1173
01:06:29.760 --> 01:06:33.080
is because what do you want gets,

1174
01:06:33.080 --> 01:06:37.560
it does give you some answers like what you're seeking,

1175
01:06:37.560 --> 01:06:41.520
but it's not from without, it's from within.

1176
01:06:42.680 --> 01:06:45.240
The only way you're ever really truly

1177
01:06:45.240 --> 01:06:47.720
gonna actually move forward is to answer the question,

1178
01:06:47.720 --> 01:06:49.320
what do I want?

1179
01:06:50.320 --> 01:06:52.960
And that's what brings clarity, it brings direction,

1180
01:06:52.960 --> 01:06:54.560
it brings next steps,

1181
01:06:54.560 --> 01:06:58.480
it brings a lot of things out of that question

1182
01:06:58.480 --> 01:07:01.920
instead of just wandering.

1183
01:07:01.920 --> 01:07:03.640
Because a lot of people can wander like,

1184
01:07:03.640 --> 01:07:04.800
oh, what's the answer?

1185
01:07:04.800 --> 01:07:05.640
Where's the thing?

1186
01:07:05.640 --> 01:07:06.480
What am I learning?

1187
01:07:06.480 --> 01:07:08.680
Like, you know, like I'm just on this journey.

1188
01:07:08.680 --> 01:07:10.800
Well, we're all on this journey,

1189
01:07:10.800 --> 01:07:11.640
but at the same time,

1190
01:07:11.640 --> 01:07:14.200
if you're just wandering, wandering, wandering,

1191
01:07:14.200 --> 01:07:15.920
and you're never getting clarification,

1192
01:07:15.920 --> 01:07:19.520
that's because you're probably not facing hard truths

1193
01:07:19.520 --> 01:07:22.600
and looking at them as opportunities for growth

1194
01:07:23.160 --> 01:07:24.640
or really challenging yourself

1195
01:07:24.640 --> 01:07:26.760
with the what is the you question.

1196
01:07:28.880 --> 01:07:32.880
And what do you want can happen if you're five years old,

1197
01:07:32.880 --> 01:07:36.000
it can happen when you're 15 or 50.

1198
01:07:37.280 --> 01:07:41.640
It's still appropriate at every level of the game.

1199
01:07:44.200 --> 01:07:45.640
You know what I'm saying?

1200
01:07:45.640 --> 01:07:47.720
Thank you, Josh, for being vulnerable.

1201
01:07:48.720 --> 01:07:50.040
Thank you for sharing with us.

1202
01:07:50.040 --> 01:07:51.040
Thank you for that.

1203
01:07:52.000 --> 01:07:54.360
That's a pretty open situation for you.

1204
01:07:54.360 --> 01:07:56.400
And as you're processing your heart work

1205
01:07:56.400 --> 01:07:58.400
and you're walking through forgiveness,

1206
01:07:59.880 --> 01:08:02.520
yeah, keep on going, keep on doing it.

1207
01:08:03.480 --> 01:08:07.000
Pursue, you know, and challenge yourself

1208
01:08:07.000 --> 01:08:09.600
and get that level of healing.

1209
01:08:09.600 --> 01:08:10.760
That's what heart work is for.

1210
01:08:10.760 --> 01:08:14.240
So definitely give yourself that season of time

1211
01:08:14.240 --> 01:08:16.600
to do the healing part.

1212
01:08:16.600 --> 01:08:20.600
And then once you have a feeling of like a level of healing,

1213
01:08:21.160 --> 01:08:22.439
and you wanna move forward,

1214
01:08:22.439 --> 01:08:24.840
then it's time to really dig into kind of like question

1215
01:08:24.840 --> 01:08:26.080
of like what do you want?

1216
01:08:27.760 --> 01:08:28.600
You know?

1217
01:08:30.040 --> 01:08:33.200
So I hope you're encouraged, man.

1218
01:08:33.200 --> 01:08:36.800
It sucks to feel rejected when you're like,

1219
01:08:36.800 --> 01:08:40.920
like what was, I mean, I shouldn't feel rejected

1220
01:08:40.920 --> 01:08:42.439
because she just taught, she was just honest.

1221
01:08:42.439 --> 01:08:45.200
But at the same time, you put yourself out there.

1222
01:08:45.200 --> 01:08:46.560
You know, bro, that's hard.

1223
01:08:46.560 --> 01:08:49.600
Well, another thing too, when you're rejected,

1224
01:08:49.920 --> 01:08:51.840
when I got rejected by a girl,

1225
01:08:51.840 --> 01:08:54.040
there's greater tragedies in the world.

1226
01:08:55.279 --> 01:08:56.760
There's a little bit of truth to that as well.

1227
01:08:56.760 --> 01:08:58.560
Well, because I, while I got rejected

1228
01:08:58.560 --> 01:09:00.640
when I first joined Singles Nation

1229
01:09:00.640 --> 01:09:02.200
before I became last year's single,

1230
01:09:02.200 --> 01:09:05.000
I even looked on my phone at the same time

1231
01:09:05.000 --> 01:09:06.880
that sub that was gonna look at down the tank tank

1232
01:09:06.880 --> 01:09:09.160
sank and crushed him in the pressure.

1233
01:09:09.160 --> 01:09:11.920
I'm thinking between being rejected by a girl

1234
01:09:11.920 --> 01:09:14.279
and someone getting destroyed in the sub

1235
01:09:14.279 --> 01:09:15.560
by the water pressure,

1236
01:09:15.560 --> 01:09:17.840
I think that's a bigger tragedy than being rejected.

1237
01:09:17.880 --> 01:09:21.160
Remember, people are suffering worse tragedies than that.

1238
01:09:21.160 --> 01:09:22.439
Yeah.

1239
01:09:22.439 --> 01:09:23.760
Thank you, Hunter.

1240
01:09:23.760 --> 01:09:26.560
I just wanna shout out and honor the vulnerability

1241
01:09:26.560 --> 01:09:30.080
and the fact that he's willing to risk.

1242
01:09:30.080 --> 01:09:33.760
I mean, you can't be loved if you don't risk.

1243
01:09:33.760 --> 01:09:34.600
That's true.

1244
01:09:34.600 --> 01:09:36.960
Because love requires risk.

1245
01:09:36.960 --> 01:09:41.439
And getting Hulk smashed to a new risk is not fun.

1246
01:09:41.439 --> 01:09:44.399
But you know, like, but there's better to come.

1247
01:09:44.399 --> 01:09:48.359
And then, you know, there's one that will actually work,

1248
01:09:48.359 --> 01:09:51.080
you know, and, you know, you gotta go,

1249
01:09:51.080 --> 01:09:53.800
unfortunately, you gotta go through some reps sometimes.

1250
01:09:53.800 --> 01:09:56.800
But I mean, I just wanna honor the effort

1251
01:09:56.800 --> 01:09:58.720
and the care and the,

1252
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:00.840
but not out there.

1253
01:10:00.840 --> 01:10:04.020
And you kind of alluded to that, but that's valiant.

1254
01:10:05.640 --> 01:10:07.680
Yeah, Jesse, yeah.

1255
01:10:07.680 --> 01:10:09.960
If you guys wanna reach out to me,

1256
01:10:09.960 --> 01:10:11.560
I mean, I'm just sharing my email.

1257
01:10:11.560 --> 01:10:13.560
I appreciate if you wouldn't share it broadly,

1258
01:10:13.560 --> 01:10:15.160
but I mean, I'm definitely willing to share

1259
01:10:15.160 --> 01:10:18.040
my personal email with this group for sure.

1260
01:10:18.040 --> 01:10:21.120
So if you want to reach out to me specifically,

1261
01:10:21.120 --> 01:10:26.120
I'm david at janemedia.org,

1262
01:10:26.540 --> 01:10:29.000
not dot com, dot org.

1263
01:10:29.000 --> 01:10:31.120
So david at janemedia.org.

1264
01:10:32.880 --> 01:10:36.580
That's really the best way to reach me directly

1265
01:10:36.580 --> 01:10:38.940
because I check my email every day.

1266
01:10:38.940 --> 01:10:40.700
Messenger's terrible for me.

1267
01:10:42.340 --> 01:10:44.100
Other things, I know Thomas and I

1268
01:10:44.100 --> 01:10:45.300
were going back and forth this week,

1269
01:10:45.300 --> 01:10:46.860
and I was trying, I was actually,

1270
01:10:46.860 --> 01:10:48.460
I was trying to give you an opportunity

1271
01:10:48.460 --> 01:10:50.980
or give us an opportunity to get together, Thomas,

1272
01:10:50.980 --> 01:10:53.140
but I didn't stay in San Juan.

1273
01:10:53.140 --> 01:10:54.660
I didn't stay in San Juan long enough.

1274
01:10:54.660 --> 01:10:56.780
I was actually supposed to be there longer

1275
01:10:56.780 --> 01:10:58.300
and ended up coming back sooner.

1276
01:10:58.320 --> 01:11:00.080
So it just didn't work out,

1277
01:11:00.080 --> 01:11:01.480
but I was actually just trying to reach out to say,

1278
01:11:01.480 --> 01:11:03.640
hey, you know, maybe we could connect, but.

1279
01:11:03.640 --> 01:11:04.840
Some other time.

1280
01:11:04.840 --> 01:11:05.680
Yeah, exactly.

1281
01:11:05.680 --> 01:11:08.080
No, we'll be back in that area, you know, kind of soon.

1282
01:11:08.080 --> 01:11:11.080
So definitely thought it'd be cool to connect,

1283
01:11:11.080 --> 01:11:12.620
but just didn't work out.

1284
01:11:13.480 --> 01:11:16.200
So yeah, guys, God bless.

1285
01:11:16.200 --> 01:11:17.080
We're after the hour,

1286
01:11:17.080 --> 01:11:19.200
but Daniel, did you have one last thing?

1287
01:11:19.200 --> 01:11:20.020
You had your hand up,

1288
01:11:20.020 --> 01:11:22.040
and I didn't know if you had something specific.

1289
01:11:22.040 --> 01:11:23.520
Yeah, yeah, I had a question.

1290
01:11:23.520 --> 01:11:24.600
Actually, it was for Joshua,

1291
01:11:24.600 --> 01:11:25.920
and maybe we're done with this topic,

1292
01:11:25.920 --> 01:11:27.900
but it was a clarifying question.

1293
01:11:28.440 --> 01:11:29.560
Well, first of all, thank you for sharing.

1294
01:11:29.560 --> 01:11:31.640
I can tell you're still struggling with that

1295
01:11:31.640 --> 01:11:32.480
and in a lot of pain,

1296
01:11:32.480 --> 01:11:35.720
and I really admire and respect the vulnerability.

1297
01:11:35.720 --> 01:11:39.040
The question was, I didn't catch this at the beginning,

1298
01:11:39.040 --> 01:11:40.720
but how long have you known Brooke,

1299
01:11:40.720 --> 01:11:42.120
or how well do you know her?

1300
01:11:44.680 --> 01:11:47.400
Met her first last September

1301
01:11:47.400 --> 01:11:50.500
when I started going to this congregation full-time.

1302
01:11:52.120 --> 01:11:55.480
And first or second time I met her,

1303
01:11:56.300 --> 01:11:57.900
she was already a member there,

1304
01:11:57.900 --> 01:12:01.340
and she had invited me to the Shabbat group.

1305
01:12:02.580 --> 01:12:03.820
And when we first met,

1306
01:12:03.820 --> 01:12:06.380
it was like, I kind of feel sparks.

1307
01:12:09.260 --> 01:12:10.860
So that's the first time we met.

1308
01:12:12.900 --> 01:12:15.020
And you asked her out shortly after that?

1309
01:12:15.020 --> 01:12:16.500
Well, the Lord had told me

1310
01:12:16.500 --> 01:12:17.780
you need to do the heart work first.

1311
01:12:17.780 --> 01:12:19.060
This is the first time I did it,

1312
01:12:19.060 --> 01:12:20.700
which took like all of October.

1313
01:12:20.700 --> 01:12:22.620
And he said, I want you to do this first

1314
01:12:22.620 --> 01:12:24.820
before you ask anybody else.

1315
01:12:24.880 --> 01:12:27.800
And probably within a week of me finishing it,

1316
01:12:27.800 --> 01:12:29.760
I asked Brooke out, or a couple of weeks,

1317
01:12:29.760 --> 01:12:30.980
and then he said no.

1318
01:12:32.680 --> 01:12:33.720
Yeah.

1319
01:12:33.720 --> 01:12:37.760
Yeah, I was kind of wondering,

1320
01:12:37.760 --> 01:12:41.840
sometimes we can project onto people

1321
01:12:41.840 --> 01:12:43.680
what we want for ourselves.

1322
01:12:45.200 --> 01:12:47.400
And if we don't know someone super well,

1323
01:12:47.400 --> 01:12:49.600
or we haven't known them for a long time,

1324
01:12:49.600 --> 01:12:53.920
it's easy to have kind of a idealized vision of them

1325
01:12:53.920 --> 01:12:56.780
that's based more on what we're hoping to get

1326
01:12:56.780 --> 01:13:00.620
from a relationship than the actual person.

1327
01:13:01.740 --> 01:13:03.500
But I don't know, that was just a thought

1328
01:13:03.500 --> 01:13:05.900
that kind of came to mind when you were sharing.

1329
01:13:06.860 --> 01:13:08.580
Yeah, all right.

1330
01:13:08.580 --> 01:13:09.420
I had one.

1331
01:13:10.940 --> 01:13:11.980
I had my hand up.

1332
01:13:11.980 --> 01:13:12.820
I had.

1333
01:13:15.900 --> 01:13:17.060
I'm sorry, what's that?

1334
01:13:20.140 --> 01:13:22.080
I think Thomas had his up too.

1335
01:13:22.100 --> 01:13:23.780
Yeah, I think Hunter was trying to say

1336
01:13:23.780 --> 01:13:25.020
he had his hand up first.

1337
01:13:25.020 --> 01:13:25.860
Oh, I see.

1338
01:13:27.260 --> 01:13:30.120
Hunter, you have something to add to this or no?

1339
01:13:30.120 --> 01:13:31.380
No.

1340
01:13:31.380 --> 01:13:33.940
Well, I was thinking about the heart.

1341
01:13:33.940 --> 01:13:35.860
Well, I can add to that, but unless you,

1342
01:13:35.860 --> 01:13:37.580
I'm going to tell you about my experience

1343
01:13:37.580 --> 01:13:40.280
with my own hard work, or can I wait till next Monday?

1344
01:13:41.180 --> 01:13:42.740
I mean, we're past time,

1345
01:13:42.740 --> 01:13:46.620
and I really would like to kind of wrap this one up.

1346
01:13:47.700 --> 01:13:49.420
Can you wait till next time, or no?

1347
01:13:49.420 --> 01:13:52.160
Yes, and I'll take some hard work notes

1348
01:13:52.160 --> 01:13:53.360
and share with you.

1349
01:13:53.360 --> 01:13:55.360
Even if it's not from Jackie's,

1350
01:13:55.360 --> 01:13:59.000
it's personal ones from my past that I have to resemble.

1351
01:13:59.000 --> 01:14:00.460
Okay, sounds good.

1352
01:14:01.800 --> 01:14:04.040
And I understand we're way past time,

1353
01:14:04.040 --> 01:14:08.480
but I just would love to maybe hear from the group next time

1354
01:14:08.480 --> 01:14:11.680
considering that Brooke isn't engaged

1355
01:14:11.680 --> 01:14:13.160
or married to this person.

1356
01:14:13.340 --> 01:14:17.900
Like, when is the wisdom of continuing

1357
01:14:17.900 --> 01:14:20.900
to kind of let things kind of play out

1358
01:14:20.900 --> 01:14:21.940
and kind of still,

1359
01:14:21.940 --> 01:14:24.180
and not try to shut down your heart towards someone?

1360
01:14:24.180 --> 01:14:27.380
And when do you go ahead and start grieving

1361
01:14:27.380 --> 01:14:31.520
and say kind of like, okay, I'm letting this completely go?

1362
01:14:32.740 --> 01:14:35.020
I'm not saying, again, that it has to be

1363
01:14:35.020 --> 01:14:36.100
a conversation for today,

1364
01:14:36.100 --> 01:14:39.420
but that's something I'd be interested in hearing about.

1365
01:14:39.420 --> 01:14:40.260
Something to think about.

1366
01:14:40.260 --> 01:14:41.300
That makes sense.

1367
01:14:41.300 --> 01:14:42.900
Something to think about, okay.

1368
01:14:43.820 --> 01:14:48.300
We might be able to pick up on that at some other point.

1369
01:14:48.300 --> 01:14:49.800
Okay.

1370
01:14:49.800 --> 01:14:52.500
Well, guys, thank you so much for being here tonight.

1371
01:14:52.500 --> 01:14:55.140
I hope you got something out of this.

1372
01:14:55.140 --> 01:14:57.380
We went a lot of different places, but that's cool.

1373
01:14:57.380 --> 01:14:58.580
And it's good.

1374
01:14:58.580 --> 01:14:59.700
I've heard from a lot of you guys.

1375
01:14:59.700 --> 01:15:00.540
I really-

1376
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:02.840
Appreciate it, thank you all for being here.

1377
01:15:02.840 --> 01:15:06.760
I want this group to be kind of this engaged,

1378
01:15:06.760 --> 01:15:08.440
this big all the time.

1379
01:15:08.440 --> 01:15:09.760
I know we all got different schedules,

1380
01:15:09.760 --> 01:15:11.300
we've got things going on and stuff like that.

1381
01:15:11.300 --> 01:15:12.600
Sometimes I'm not here as well.

1382
01:15:12.600 --> 01:15:15.680
So, but try to be here as much as you can

1383
01:15:15.680 --> 01:15:19.640
because the merrier and the more input

1384
01:15:19.640 --> 01:15:23.240
and the more stuff that we have,

1385
01:15:23.240 --> 01:15:25.780
I think the more valuable it is.

1386
01:15:25.780 --> 01:15:30.780
And I think the more worth it is to connect and go deeper.

1387
01:15:31.660 --> 01:15:33.860
So, appreciate you guys, love you guys.

1388
01:15:33.860 --> 01:15:36.180
God bless you, have a great, great week.

1389
01:15:36.180 --> 01:15:37.020
You guys.

1390
01:15:37.020 --> 01:15:38.460
And we will see you soon.

1391
01:15:38.460 --> 01:15:40.020
All right.

1392
01:15:40.020 --> 01:15:41.460
Adios, God bless.