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Welcome to Men's Heart Check-in, Monday, July 14th, and we're just doing some preliminary

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talking and I'm talking about the wheel space right now, the wheelhouse.

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But anyway, we are visiting some friends in Louisville, Kentucky, and they're really quite

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wealthy friends.

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And there's some people that we've known for about 15 years and they just so happen that

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they're extremely wealthy and every once in a while they have us come in and Jackie speaks

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at their thing or on a podcast or whatever.

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So it's kind of nice to know people like that.

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And they say, hey, come stay at our house.

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We did.

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And we got there real late one night, but they still had dinner for us.

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They're like, hey, we're sorry we're late.

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Oh no, we just made dinner.

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We made dinner for you.

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Sit down.

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My gosh, this is incredible.

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You guys are great.

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So we sit down and there's other people at the end of the table, at the other end of

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the table, and they're Hispanic people.

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They don't hardly speak any English.

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Telling us that this guy who I thought, I'm sorry, I made a mistake, all right?

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I thought he worked for them.

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I'm just a terrible assumption, bad manners of me or whatever, but I did not know who

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this person was.

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And I know they have Hispanic people working for them.

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So I mean, it wasn't unreasonable.

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And I just thought it was this person because I know they have had, you know, and or they

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were just like some visiting pastor or something like that.

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I don't know what it was.

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Apparently, this guy is a renowned international prophet, like, legit, like, dude that like

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does a lot of stuff.

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And says a lot of things and super, like, amazingly accurate.

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And I'm like, I don't even know this guy, you know?

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And so, there's the other end of the table and he's apologizing because he doesn't speak

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very good English.

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And we're just like, yeah, yeah, okay, nice to meet you.

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Where are you from?

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He goes, I'm from Colombia and all this.

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I'm like, cool.

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I was just in Colombia.

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Da da da, right?

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And before the end of the night, he was like, my friend who was the, you know, the wealthy

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business guy.

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He's like, hey, prophet, you know, pray for our friends before before you go.

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I'm like, so we're like, okay, yeah, we'll receive prayer from the prophet, whatever.

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And this guy starts going in and praying in Spanish.

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But the only person who's left to interpret any English is his nine-year-old daughter.

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And she's interpreting for us.

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I don't know.

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I don't know if you've heard Jackie share the story yet or not, but anyway.

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She's interpreting this man who is her dad and she's nine years old and she's speaking

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really good English and doing actually a pretty good job interpreting this.

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But she's nine, you know, like she's not going to get adult nuances of like, you know, like

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really getting in depth with some of these ideas.

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So we're hearing this guy.

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And he starts calling out like initials.

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And first of all, he calls out like there's somebody with a J and we're like, well, he's

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like, well, Jackie's like that.

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Well, my name's Jackie J.M..

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She goes, well, my middle name is Marie, Jackie Marie.

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And he goes, OK.

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And he says something to her and it's like, wow, that's amazing.

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And then he's like and then he's like, for me, he's like, you have some unforgiveness.

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She's like, you need to forgive this person.

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Like he wasn't he wasn't mad at me, but he was just like, there's some forgiveness that

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you need.

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And so the initials are R and then P. And I'm like, no way.

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That's my old pastor.

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It's like Rob Parsley.

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I was like, I'm like, are you kidding me?

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And he goes, I don't he goes, I don't know, he just are R and then P. And I'm like, whoa.

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And I'm like, yeah, there's some of that.

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So I'm like, OK.

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And then he called out some other things and it called out her and said his name.

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His mentor and then said, there's also Sophia.

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And I'm like, Sophia is this guy's daughter, like not the prophet's daughter or mentor's

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daughter.

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Like, he doesn't even know these people are.

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She's calling out names.

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I'm like, OK, now, mind you, we're doing this through an interpreter, nine year old girl

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interpreting this.

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And this guy's from Columbia.

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He doesn't know Adam.

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I don't even know this guy.

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There's no way this guy knows anything about us at all.

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And then he's like and then it's like there's a W there's like a double A, there's a there's

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like a B. No, no, no, no, no.

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It's a double A. And if you understand Spanish, double A means W. So double A is B in Spanish.

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And then double A is W is the word W for Spanish word for W is a double A.

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And then Ache, H-W-H, he says, but this is not a person.

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This is a place. I'm like.

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We just opened.

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This is about two months ago when this happened.

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We just opened a place called Wheelhouse.

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He goes, OK, here's there will be

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there will be deliverance from addictions in this place.

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I'm like, OK, we're like open to that.

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We're open to deliverance.

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We're open to people coming in that we're not familiar with,

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that we would want to come in and be blessed.

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I didn't know it was going to be a rave

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that was opening next door to us, where people blazing up all night long

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every day of the week, freaking addictions coming in,

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moving in next door to us, the devil himself moving in next door to us.

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Do you like our place?

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Well, I'm like, I have to complain to the landlord.

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I go like we want to invite people into our place.

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I don't want the residual like weed smell, just like blaze,

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like sunken it up in our wheelhouse.

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I mean, I'm not sure I'm trying to be Christian, trying to be loving.

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I don't want to start a war with my neighbors,

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but I can't have that in my place, too.

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I mean, we're sharing a wall.

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And it's like I told you there's going to be addictions

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that are going to be broken off.

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I told you you need to like take possession of the place.

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You need to open up a portal, you need to worship.

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We're like, OK, Lord.

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So this is what we're faced with, guys.

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This is the we thinking it's we're thinking it's warfare.

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God's just like, no, I'm just setting you up.

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We're like, OK, so we got some work to do, so pray for us.

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Stand in the gap with us.

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And. That's what's going on, so.

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Yeah, you know, in the deliverance realm, a lot of it's legal.

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So like, you know, with your RRP, right?

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When you when you don't have doing a lot of deliverance lately,

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so which I had never planned on.

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But one of the things you guys, I just I want to I want to encourage you.

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If you have any unforgiveness in your life towards anybody,

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it literally gives the enemy legal right in the courts of heaven

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to to just beat the crap out of you and to destroy your life.

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And so even if it's like little inconsequential things that you think,

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yeah, you just have to have a clean slate.

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And I mean, it's amazing how this I mean, I

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are just doing these breaking prayers and you can feel it shift.

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And then, you know, and so like.

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But I want to say just as you are the tenants,

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like, you know, you have the authority in there.

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That's your legal space.

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And he's legal, right?

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He's trespassing. Right.

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And and like, yeah, and just do some declarations

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and anointing and communion there.

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We're definitely going to do it for sure.

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And and you're right.

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You know, I had I had dealt with a lot of the church.

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Pervert abuse and all that kind of stuff in the past.

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And, you know, it just he was just reminding me prophetically from a strong

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he's just like, you know, hey, there's stuff there.

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And I'm like, OK, yeah, I'll do that.

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So I did another round of that forgiveness

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during that time.

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And so you're right, though.

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Yeah, unforgiveness. I mean, like.

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A lot of the stuff happens in layers.

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And, you know, we talk about this in heartwork as well.

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You know, when you're releasing things, you have pain points come up.

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You have anxiety.

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You have uncomfortable levels of feelings

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that come up with situations and people and things.

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You know, there's that's just pain is an indicator.

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We talk about that, you know.

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And so it's a good reminder.

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Thank you for bringing that up.

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Because, yeah, it's a good reminder for us.

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Well, and the thing is, guys, if the enemy is taunting you with something

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and cause it like like there's something in your life that you've done

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that he's just won't leave it alone.

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You just repent and you say, I repented and you leave it.

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Right. Because when you repent, it removes all legal.

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Right. He has.

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And you put it under the blood of Jesus.

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It removes all right that the enemy has.

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And I guess, you know, and sometimes you may just reown it.

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Yes, I did that. And I repent in Jesus name.

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Right. But like, no, it's it's good stuff.

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You know, and I think, like you said, pain is an indicator. Right.

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And and it's not actually a bad indicator.

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It's an indicator that you want.

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He wants you free.

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I've been going to all kinds of stuff lately.

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And it's like, you know, you realize when you're having those indicators,

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you thought you were free.

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But here's the new layer. Right. So.

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The pain can be irritating because it kind of lingers.

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And I've even prayed the prayer is like, OK, I feel the pain.

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I sense this pain.

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And so, Lord, I need you to heal me.

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And I want the pain to go away because I've already gotten the message.

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You know, I hear, I've seen the red light, I get it, you know, I, I'm, I'm sensing the pain.

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So I'm like, I want to be released from the pain because I'm dealing with this now.

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I'm already, I'm putting the band-aid on it.

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I'm putting the sab on it.

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I'm, I'm taking care of it.

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You know, and as soon as you put in the medicine, as soon as you put in the, the, the relief,

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the stuff, take the time, whatever it is, you know, to relieve, relieve the pain.

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If it's a very, you know, temporary sort of situation, cut, whatever,

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and you get rid of that pain, then you get out of pain because you've addressed the issue.

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You put the band-aid on it, you put the, you put the sab on it, you clean the wound out,

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whatever it is, you know, you give, you administer the first aid in order to address the issue.

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So that doesn't become, you know, my pastor used to say this, he said,

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the devil will kill you, you know, the devil wants to kill you and he'll kill you with a

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hangnail if he can, you know, you get a hangnail, you get infected, you know, get gangrene and goes

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the rest of your body, like he'll kill you with a hangnail if he can type thing.

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So it's like, you got to take care of these things before they become a bigger problem.

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It's true.

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The other thing that goes with that, and I'll just bring this up because I spent the entire

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last three days at a incredible three-day intensive experience.

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That's what it's called.

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Anybody ever do next level experience?

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Anybody ever heard of that?

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It's called next level experience.

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Anybody ever done it?

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Heard about it?

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Heard of it.

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Have you heard about it?

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Michael McIntyre.

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He's the guy that does it.

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His family does it actually.

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He's a, he's a business guy.

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Built an insurance company to three or three billion dollars.

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And I think like sold it, close the doors, whatever, gave it off or whatever he did with

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it years ago.

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And then now he's doing these next level experiences.

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He's done them for the last 12 years.

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And dude's pretty cool dude.

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He's a motivator, you know, he's a coach.

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But we did this intensive over the weekend.

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It was really great.

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And I encourage you to, if you ever have a chance to do it, like, you know, it'll shift

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you.

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We went for the purpose of getting shifted to literally the next level.

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And next level means a lot of different things for a lot of different people.

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And there were all walks of life, everything, everybody from 21 years of age, I think was

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the youngest all the way up to 76 years of age in this room of 34 people.

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And walked in on Friday, not knowing anybody and not knowing anything that was going to

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happen.

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And by Sunday night, walked away from the dinner and like fell in love with these people

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that we just spent two and a half days with intensively and and got shifted all at the

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same time.

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It was pretty incredible.

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One of the things that comes up in these things with pain is also shame.

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And it's just one of the manifestations, depending on what it is that, you know, that

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you're dealing with guilt, shame, that kind of thing.

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And shame also, as a pain point, can be an indicator.

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Guilt can be an indicator.

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But it's not supposed to be something that lasts in order to drive you into change.

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There may be a point of like, you feel bad, you feel guilty, you feel shameful, you feel

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you feel less than you feel unworthy because of what you did or what happened or what somebody

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else put upon you.

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But it's not supposed to linger in such a way.

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To produce the change result, the repentance is not supposed to drive you to repentance.

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As a motivator.

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It oftentimes acts as an indicator and it's from without.

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So I talked several months ago about how shame is not an appropriate motivator towards progress

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or towards development in the kingdom.

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But it is a real factor.

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So I'm not saying that shame doesn't exist and that guilt doesn't exist.

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We obviously feel that from time to time, depending on what we've been through.

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But I just want to make the difference between the fact that.

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One of the things that was really cool about the experience we went through this weekend was.

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Michael talked about that the space that they were creating from from the first five minutes

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being a safe space.

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Being a space full of love and acceptance and grace that was going to.

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be challenging, was designed to get you uncomfortable,

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was designed to get you out of your comfort zone,

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but at the same time that you knew

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that you were in a safe space, a loving space,

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an accepting space, a non-judgmental space

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to be transformed.

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And I can tell you having gone through it now,

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it truly was an incredible experience.

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So I'm kind of pushing that, but at the same time,

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I kind of want to, I'm just motivated by this

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because there's some things that really happened

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in it that was really cool.

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And one of the questions that came out of this experience

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is maybe something we can focus on tonight.

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Jackie did Supernatural Saturday on it,

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because we did, she actually got special permission

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to leave the room.

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We were not allowed to leave the room

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unless we were on a break or whatever.

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We had to be on time to every class.

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We had to, like, there were like ground rules

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that we all agreed to.

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And it was a pretty intensive thing.

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And we learned real quickly that it was not gonna

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be acceptable to be out of those bounds.

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And when we all adhere to that,

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it really drove the attention of the event

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towards an experience, not just some thing

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that you're sitting around taking notes in

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and trying to like, you know, take a conference in,

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you know, this was a transformative experience.

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And she got special permission to step out of the room

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to do Supernatural Saturday because of,

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they realized, you know, who she was

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and like what her community was

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and how important that was to our community.

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And she was like, okay, recognize that you're a leader

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and that this is your thing and that you want to do it.

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And she went out of that room,

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did Supernatural Saturday based on this question.

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So I don't know if you saw Supernatural Saturday,

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any of you this last weekend, but the question is,

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what are you pretending not to know?

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What are you pretending not to know?

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And you might think that's kind of weird.

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You're like, what do you mean?

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What am I pretending not to know?

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Anybody want to take a stab just right off the top of the head

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just like hearing the question.

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Maybe you did listen to Supernatural Saturday,

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taking a stab at like, maybe thinking about like,

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what is it I'm pretending not to know?

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You're going to have to think about this

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from the position of,

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kind of like a, what's missing?

321
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What am I maybe even hiding from?

322
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What is it that I truly don't know that I need to know?

323
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What is it potential, like in the area of potential,

324
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you can ask yourself, what am I pretending not to know?

325
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What do I, it's kind of, it's also very in line

326
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or very familiar, synonymous with that same question.

327
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Like what is, what's the elephant that's in the room?

328
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It's kind of like, what is the thing that comes up a lot

329
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that I'm not really willing or ready to deal with?

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What are you pretending not to know?

331
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Anybody want to share?

332
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Anybody want to take a stab at it?

333
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I'll tell you that part of what I'm pretending I don't know

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or pretending not to know,

335
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is I'm pretending I'm playing small

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in a lot of ways in my life.

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I'm pretending to not to know

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that there's a leader within me,

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that has always wanted to move forward.

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Not from a place of arrogance,

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but from a place of like,

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I should step into something that.

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maybe I have put down in the past always said oh that's not me that's not really I'm not I'm not

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like that there's potential that's inside of you that is wanting to break out wanting to come out

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we all have things this and this is not about being better this is not like oh I

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should bet I could be better at xyz it's not about being better this is actually about being honest

347
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about something that you might be denying to be let out in your life

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sometimes you hear people like oh I've always wanted to whatever and I never felt like I had

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permission or never felt like I had the resources I never felt like I had you know so that's that's

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kind of common right that person was pretending not to know that they could do this in spite of

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whatever excuses they were trying to put forth and the truth is is we don't really have

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like if we have a certain potential whatever that is and I'm not saying it has to be like

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oh I'm a bajillionaire and I've got it soon I got all these you know I got all these ideas

354
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and I'm going to change the world I mean it doesn't have to be grandiose guys you know

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just has to be whatever your potential is and if you understand that there's more to you

356
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than the life you're living

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you're not activating that in some sort of way or you're not like placing yourself in

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any kind of position to like be challenged in that way or brought out

359
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the reality is is that we end up lots of times lots of people

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they really truly end up running out of time so the question is kind of like

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like what are you pretending not to know

362
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are you pretending not to know

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david yeah so yeah I'll I'll respond um it's actually been very cool so I'm almost at the

364
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end of a fast and just during this time I did the heart work which I finished but

365
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I think I mentioned this before the Lord's really been just highlighting to me about

366
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stepping into teaching full-time okay and I'm finally like taking those necessary steps I've

367
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got an interview I've got one interview tomorrow possibly two and July's apparently crunch time for

368
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and July's apparently crunch time for teachers and stuff getting new positions for the new school

369
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year yeah but I had a friend in my my Shabbat community she found out she got hired within like

370
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probably 16 hours of her applying for a particular position

371
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and the position she actually got wasn't listed on their website but she applied and then they

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hired her for like a middle school science position which is she's perfect for because

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she's raised two kids at home and that that was just really encouraging to me so

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got some info from her and I've already got like one or two interviews scheduled but that's just

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like I know for a fact that the Lord even when I was working as a restaurant server

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probably a year and a half ago I knew at the time the Lord was highlighting that but I put it off

377
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for a while I would say out of fear just fear of the unknown I just didn't really know what to

378
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expect or mainly just fear of lack of finances because I I'd always heard oh teachers don't

379
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really make a whole lot and I've been debt twice not like huge debt compared to a lot of people but

380
00:24:44.560 --> 00:24:48.240
just credit card debt yeah there's a lot of trepidation there's a lot of trepidation around

381
00:24:48.240 --> 00:24:54.800
that but the fact that you even saw yourself as a teacher you know that was somewhat in question

382
00:24:54.800 --> 00:24:59.920
maybe yeah but it was more so in question of

383
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I don't know if that's what I really want to do.

384
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Now I know for a fact that the Lord has given me a teaching gift.

385
00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:14.000
I don't know if it's necessarily been stifled the last few years.

386
00:25:14.000 --> 00:25:16.000
Yeah.

387
00:25:16.000 --> 00:25:19.000
I think it's just more something.

388
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Actually, when I think about it, I think it's just more something the Lord has honored and has grown in my life, kind of like a plant or a seed, the more I've done it.

389
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And I'm talking about just I love reading the word I love sharing my knowledge of it. And I've led Passover Seder, three years in a row now.

390
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And three different groups.

391
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And I was like, Lord, I feel like you're trying to tell me something.

392
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Yeah.

393
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As you I mean I can I can I can attest to what you're saying is exactly what I had in my life. I was in ministry full time vocational ministry started when I was about 25 in the youth department at a big church.

394
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And the reason I and the reason I say it's a big church is because the big the size of the church matters because of the potential of opportunity.

395
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I was at a smaller church it probably wouldn't have been as opportunistic.

396
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And it just happened to be that's just the church I was involved with from a very young age. And then I wanted to get on staff there so I did. And I was 25.

397
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And I got on staff, and I was in the youth department. I wanted to start in a totally different position and a much higher position I wanted to be like the worship leader but they're like now you're starting the youth department matter of fact you're going to start with the children's ministry.

398
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And so that's where I started.

399
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And I did that for a number of years.

400
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And then all of a sudden, I started seeing my peers, people who were just my same age.

401
00:26:58.000 --> 00:27:05.000
We had started the Bible college, now I had attended that Bible college. But by the time I was 25 and started my ministry career.

402
00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:11.000
You know I was really climbing the sort of like the corporate ladder if you would, you know that that ministry.

403
00:27:12.000 --> 00:27:15.000
And because my entire life.

404
00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:31.000
I had been sort of like criticized in a casual way and said that I, my entire life.

405
00:27:31.000 --> 00:27:37.000
I didn't have much to say or I couldn't put words together I couldn't really like you know communicate very well.

406
00:27:37.000 --> 00:27:46.000
Like I couldn't like, I wasn't really like a dynamic person to where somebody want to listen to me, stay anything even though I was actually a communication major in college.

407
00:27:46.000 --> 00:28:06.000
And my dad, you know kind of scoffed at that like laughed at that like you a communicator like, come on, you know like, whatever so I had always this thing in my head that I would never be somebody who was an influencer or communicator or speaker or an author or anything like that.

408
00:28:06.000 --> 00:28:30.000
So I always just figured I would have to be something else until we started doing the same thing with me, Joshua, which is giving me an impression that I think the Lord's trying to set me up and I got this message for like almost a whole year or more before I actually became and was invited in to be a teacher, an actual teacher.

409
00:28:31.000 --> 00:28:41.000
And my friends were taking classes or not taking classes, they were becoming the instructors, my contemporaries, even though we were in our 20s.

410
00:28:41.000 --> 00:28:47.000
So I was like, man, you know, like if they can do it, I could do it, I think, maybe.

411
00:28:47.000 --> 00:28:51.000
And then it came to the point where I just was there long enough.

412
00:28:51.000 --> 00:29:01.000
I had a degree in communication and they said, you know what, we have these classes over the Bible college, we need somebody to teach these classes.

413
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And I kind of was thinking, man, should I raise my hand for this?

414
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Because I was sitting in an executive meeting.

415
00:29:09.000 --> 00:29:17.000
I got passed over because I didn't speak up because I didn't think I was a quote teacher.

416
00:29:17.000 --> 00:29:21.000
And nobody had ever said I could teach or I hadn't done it.

417
00:29:21.000 --> 00:29:24.000
And so I kind of got passed over.

418
00:29:24.000 --> 00:29:32.000
And so another year went by and finally, circumstantially, it just happened that there wasn't anybody else to do this.

419
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And they said, hey, can you do this class?

420
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And I was like, oh, my gosh.

421
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Somebody actually gave me a class.

422
00:29:43.000 --> 00:29:44.000
And I.

423
00:29:45.000 --> 00:29:53.000
That was my first year teaching, and I had a syllabus and I was teaching Bible college, college students, and I could do it because they had a charter school.

424
00:29:53.000 --> 00:29:59.000
They had it was an associate's sort of two year program, but because I had a bachelor's degree four years.

425
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:07.400
I could technically teach in that charter school in a Bible College and they said because you're a communication major

426
00:30:07.400 --> 00:30:09.400
You can teach all the communication classes

427
00:30:10.200 --> 00:30:12.200
And you can teach you can teach

428
00:30:12.920 --> 00:30:17.520
Media 101 you could teach mass media. You could teach speech

429
00:30:19.440 --> 00:30:26.520
How am I gonna teach speech when my dad was like you a communicator you stand in front people don't tell them people have an

430
00:30:26.520 --> 00:30:28.520
ideas and talking about it

431
00:30:28.680 --> 00:30:34.040
I'm teaching the class now and that started a nine-year career nine years

432
00:30:35.120 --> 00:30:36.600
a

433
00:30:36.600 --> 00:30:38.600
full-time teaching I taught

434
00:30:38.880 --> 00:30:40.880
dozens of classes

435
00:30:41.280 --> 00:30:46.800
Dozens of things and that's a year. I don't do much that kind of classroom formal teaching anymore

436
00:30:47.240 --> 00:30:51.560
But it's a period of my time that I learned a lot and I was I learned I could actually do that

437
00:30:51.560 --> 00:30:53.360
I

438
00:30:53.360 --> 00:31:01.680
Was a paradigm shift. It was a invitation for the longest time before being a teacher. I was pretending not to know I could teach

439
00:31:02.760 --> 00:31:06.960
But I could put a lesson together that I could stand up in front of a group of people and make sense

440
00:31:08.800 --> 00:31:15.560
You see what I'm saying, so the question is is what are you pretending not to know today like I'm pretending not to know that

441
00:31:17.040 --> 00:31:19.360
They could have influence in a greater way

442
00:31:20.320 --> 00:31:22.320
I'm pretending not to know

443
00:31:22.400 --> 00:31:26.720
For this recent season that there's a lot of other things that I need to start and do

444
00:31:27.440 --> 00:31:31.140
project wise and corporate wise and business wise and entrepreneurial wise and

445
00:31:31.760 --> 00:31:38.400
Production wise I'm pretending that I'm just a part of this thing that my wife's doing and that I just do the other side of it

446
00:31:38.400 --> 00:31:40.400
And that's all that there is for me to do

447
00:31:40.800 --> 00:31:44.880
I'm pretending not to know that there's more in me that there's a whole nother

448
00:31:46.160 --> 00:31:48.160
side to this

449
00:31:48.760 --> 00:31:53.320
And I better get busy at it because I'm 54 years old and I have

450
00:31:54.120 --> 00:31:56.880
25 years left of good productivity. I

451
00:31:57.400 --> 00:32:01.640
Mean not that I can't be productive beyond that. I'm just saying I'm just thinking like 50 60s

452
00:32:01.640 --> 00:32:05.600
You know, like those are for productive years. They can be matter of fact

453
00:32:06.560 --> 00:32:08.560
Statistically, I don't know if you know this or not

454
00:32:10.120 --> 00:32:13.800
But 60 to 70 that 10 year that decade of your life

455
00:32:14.680 --> 00:32:16.680
That's actually statistically

456
00:32:18.160 --> 00:32:19.840
the most

457
00:32:19.840 --> 00:32:21.840
How's the statistic go?

458
00:32:22.200 --> 00:32:26.800
It is statistically the most wealth building and the most productive

459
00:32:27.520 --> 00:32:31.680
Wealth building years of an individual's life. I don't know if you knew that or not

460
00:32:33.000 --> 00:32:35.960
It's not the 30s. It's not the 40s. It's not the 50s

461
00:32:35.960 --> 00:32:42.000
You think 30s 40s and 50s are the most like Oh productive in terms of like career building all that kind of stuff

462
00:32:42.000 --> 00:32:44.660
No, but as far as actual wealth building

463
00:32:45.840 --> 00:32:47.640
multiplying and well

464
00:32:47.640 --> 00:32:54.040
Establishing and building for legacy that type of thing. The 60s is actually the decade where it's like, that's the most

465
00:32:54.840 --> 00:32:56.840
wealth productivity

466
00:32:57.200 --> 00:32:59.200
in a person's life

467
00:33:00.760 --> 00:33:02.360
Kind of fascinating

468
00:33:02.360 --> 00:33:07.080
So again, again, what are you guys? I'm talking to all of you guys

469
00:33:07.800 --> 00:33:10.960
What are you guys in your 30s in your 40s?

470
00:33:11.400 --> 00:33:14.120
Some of you in your 50s some of you know older than that. That's fine

471
00:33:14.680 --> 00:33:16.920
Some of you younger than that some of you are still in your 20s

472
00:33:17.760 --> 00:33:20.040
What are you pretending at the stage in your life?

473
00:33:21.120 --> 00:33:23.760
What are you pretending not to know?

474
00:33:25.360 --> 00:33:28.960
Can I jump in yeah, ma'am not that I want to jump in but

475
00:33:30.920 --> 00:33:37.900
You know like this is a season like this I've had so much anxiety this weekend and it's yeah and it's it's interesting cuz

476
00:33:38.840 --> 00:33:40.840
It's not because I'm failing

477
00:33:41.720 --> 00:33:43.720
It's because I'm actually succeeding

478
00:33:44.440 --> 00:33:46.440
right up and like

479
00:33:47.640 --> 00:33:53.200
Like favor and doors are flying open at levels that I've never seen before

480
00:33:53.960 --> 00:33:59.320
Yes, I'm walking in like people are like I want you to train me in this. I want to train you in this

481
00:33:59.320 --> 00:34:04.760
I'm doing deliverance sessions, which I am really good at but I never really have done and people like you need to be

482
00:34:04.760 --> 00:34:05.120
Yes

483
00:34:05.120 --> 00:34:10.820
In this area we need you in that area and I'm meeting with the pastor on Friday and they're like we want you to lead

484
00:34:10.820 --> 00:34:14.699
Outreach and you want want you to do this and you want you to do that and like here we want

485
00:34:14.699 --> 00:34:21.300
I got invited to a group of peers of singles in this group. And um, yeah, and I'm like

486
00:34:21.380 --> 00:34:25.940
Why am I so anxious? Like why am I freaking out? Oh and it's like

487
00:34:26.940 --> 00:34:34.219
Two things one. I'm afraid of I'm not afraid of failing. I'm afraid of succeeding which is you it's just yeah pretty insane

488
00:34:34.580 --> 00:34:36.699
But the other thing is is this getting real?

489
00:34:37.420 --> 00:34:43.460
Like, you know, I know I know the call on my life and all of a sudden I'm watching it happen in full force

490
00:34:44.100 --> 00:34:47.860
Actually, I don't even know him partial force. I don't think if he gave it full force

491
00:34:47.860 --> 00:34:51.940
I think I'd probably black out but you know, you know, and I just you guys it's you know

492
00:34:51.940 --> 00:34:57.780
There's there's a feel a fear of actually succeeding and most people were to fail than to succeed

493
00:34:58.140 --> 00:35:00.140
Because it puts you in a whole different thing

494
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:06.520
And that's a perfect example Mike. Let me jump in there real quickly because I want to highlight what you're saying is perfect

495
00:35:07.160 --> 00:35:13.640
For this if you have never heard of the idea that you could be afraid to succeed afraid of failure

496
00:35:13.640 --> 00:35:16.880
I think okay. Yeah, you get that but if you have never

497
00:35:17.560 --> 00:35:22.760
Studied this concept of the fear of success. It is a real thing guys

498
00:35:23.840 --> 00:35:26.840
and I would dare say that a lot of you are probably kind of

499
00:35:27.600 --> 00:35:29.880
Have anxiety about that and

500
00:35:30.520 --> 00:35:36.360
You didn't even know it. You thought it was a fear of failure, but it's actually a fear of like, oh my god

501
00:35:36.360 --> 00:35:41.960
What if I really actually do this then I'll be responsible then I'll have to go to another level

502
00:35:41.960 --> 00:35:45.080
I'll have to be more disciplined. I'll have to change my life

503
00:35:45.080 --> 00:35:51.120
I'll have to change my like how I present myself like because people will expect this out of me

504
00:35:51.120 --> 00:35:54.400
So therefore it's going to create me to have to do things and get uncomfortable

505
00:35:56.840 --> 00:35:58.760
You know

506
00:35:58.760 --> 00:36:05.800
Like so like what are you pretending not to know Mike is telling you he's confessing. He's like I'm pretending like

507
00:36:06.560 --> 00:36:11.680
To know that I can't do this or I'm not comfortable doing this

508
00:36:11.680 --> 00:36:14.760
I'm pretending like I'm kind of playing small

509
00:36:15.120 --> 00:36:20.860
I'm used to playing small until this season where right now he's being enacted upon

510
00:36:22.000 --> 00:36:25.600
He's being not forced, but I mean he's being challenged

511
00:36:26.120 --> 00:36:30.760
To like an invited in going. Hey, bro. We need you

512
00:36:32.360 --> 00:36:37.880
It's kind of like the soldier on the front line who's like his fear of like

513
00:36:38.840 --> 00:36:45.120
The battlefield. I'm not a I'm not a soldier. So I don't know how to talk about this, but I've seen this before and

514
00:36:45.680 --> 00:36:50.320
He can't go on to the battlefield because he's afraid of whatever right?

515
00:36:51.200 --> 00:36:54.280
And it's like you're being but you're but you've been trained as a soldier

516
00:36:54.280 --> 00:36:58.960
But you you know, and you can't do it. What do you mean? You can't do it. You've been trained to kill

517
00:36:58.960 --> 00:37:02.160
You've been trained to do this. You've been through boot camp. You've been through all the things

518
00:37:02.960 --> 00:37:08.160
You have a gun in your hand. You've been trained how to use it and you can't go on the battlefield. What do you mean?

519
00:37:09.760 --> 00:37:11.600
Right

520
00:37:11.600 --> 00:37:16.320
fear of dying fear of failure and then the fear of like what if what if I actually end up being

521
00:37:16.720 --> 00:37:19.560
like an incredible soldier that will mean that I have

522
00:37:20.200 --> 00:37:22.200
Killed people and I've done terrible things

523
00:37:24.520 --> 00:37:29.720
And done hard things and been through battle and the hell of war

524
00:37:30.400 --> 00:37:34.440
That will have mean that I would have done that and that scares the hell out of me

525
00:37:35.520 --> 00:37:37.520
So I can't go

526
00:37:38.120 --> 00:37:40.120
You were called to go

527
00:37:40.320 --> 00:37:43.400
What if you were commissioned to go what if you were designed?

528
00:37:44.200 --> 00:37:46.920
For the very thing that scares the shit out of you

529
00:37:49.840 --> 00:37:51.840
You know what I'm saying, oh

530
00:37:51.840 --> 00:37:55.040
I can tell you all that is true, right at the moment. Yeah

531
00:37:58.080 --> 00:38:01.320
Are you afraid what are you afraid of? Yeah, right

532
00:38:02.160 --> 00:38:07.640
Because are you put cuz I'm like I'm tapping out and he's like, you know, why you know

533
00:38:07.640 --> 00:38:10.920
I'm like, yeah, you know my feet to the fire, which is what a good friend does, right?

534
00:38:10.920 --> 00:38:13.240
And the question is to Mike is like what?

535
00:38:13.880 --> 00:38:15.880
What are you used to in the past?

536
00:38:16.880 --> 00:38:22.040
When those things have come up you're used to kind of what playing small like other

537
00:38:22.480 --> 00:38:24.480
I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop

538
00:38:25.120 --> 00:38:30.040
Yeah, right like oh wait, they can't you know, the enemy is like they can't handle you

539
00:38:30.080 --> 00:38:36.280
see the reality is I don't even know my full fullness because I've held it back and now it's coming out and

540
00:38:37.640 --> 00:38:44.280
and I'm not able to control it as much as I used to be but you know, but you're afraid and you're afraid that um

541
00:38:45.280 --> 00:38:52.760
Yeah, that it will be it'll be out of control that like there's a certain level like but the reality is that you're here

542
00:38:52.760 --> 00:38:54.760
So here's what you're pretending not to know

543
00:38:55.080 --> 00:38:57.000
You're pretending

544
00:38:57.000 --> 00:38:59.000
not to know

545
00:38:59.600 --> 00:39:05.200
That all of the experience that you've had in this way prophetically in this ministry giving

546
00:39:05.760 --> 00:39:08.200
Up until this point has prepared you

547
00:39:08.920 --> 00:39:10.920
with the level of maturity

548
00:39:11.840 --> 00:39:13.840
That will keep you

549
00:39:14.840 --> 00:39:18.000
Forcible that will keep you with the boundaries

550
00:39:19.440 --> 00:39:21.440
Like you're afraid of being out of bounds

551
00:39:22.040 --> 00:39:24.560
Yeah, but what you're pretending not to know right now

552
00:39:24.560 --> 00:39:28.680
I mean, this is this is very powerful because that's why this was bringing this question home

553
00:39:28.840 --> 00:39:34.480
You're pretending not to know that the experience literally has trained you

554
00:39:35.360 --> 00:39:37.360
To walk in a level of maturity

555
00:39:38.200 --> 00:39:42.400
That will actually keep you in the bounds of it and then will create a force

556
00:39:43.240 --> 00:39:46.640
That will produce that amount of success like this time

557
00:39:46.640 --> 00:39:52.080
It's like oh, I see all like before you didn't know you didn't know what would be out of bounds

558
00:39:52.080 --> 00:39:57.560
You didn't know until they were like, hey, hey, don't do that. Stop doing that. What are you doing? Like you got smacked down?

559
00:39:58.280 --> 00:40:00.280
Right or you got out of order?

560
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:03.560
We didn't like that or we didn't whatever but now you're self-aware

561
00:40:05.200 --> 00:40:11.200
Because you've been through a lot of training you've been through a lot of life you've been through a lot of maturing processes

562
00:40:12.040 --> 00:40:15.380
You're self-aware enough to know. Oh crap

563
00:40:16.000 --> 00:40:18.440
If I do this, this could get really out of control

564
00:40:19.200 --> 00:40:23.560
Yeah, and what you're pretending not to know is the fact that that all of that

565
00:40:24.320 --> 00:40:26.320
Has created the level of maturity

566
00:40:26.320 --> 00:40:28.320
that

567
00:40:28.520 --> 00:40:35.120
Will enable you to not let it get out of control and that you have the mastery of it

568
00:40:35.680 --> 00:40:37.680
Yes, sir. Good

569
00:40:38.920 --> 00:40:41.820
That's what this question of what are you pretending not to know

570
00:40:44.080 --> 00:40:48.160
Is all about it's kind of like you know what I'm pretending like

571
00:40:48.800 --> 00:40:52.720
I'm pretending not to know that. I'm just damn good at

572
00:40:53.640 --> 00:40:59.400
XYZ like I'm really good at like woodworking or I don't know. I'm really good at leading people

573
00:41:00.080 --> 00:41:06.080
I'm actually good at leading people. I'm pretending not to know that I'm acting like just like an idiot over here

574
00:41:06.080 --> 00:41:09.700
Yeah, I'm kind of in a leadership position, but I'm not really like fully up

575
00:41:10.720 --> 00:41:14.000
Walking into my full potential. I am a leader

576
00:41:15.880 --> 00:41:17.880
I'm a leader and

577
00:41:18.360 --> 00:41:23.520
So what the question begs of you when you answer the question is it begs that I am statement

578
00:41:26.200 --> 00:41:31.440
It begs you to go who are you? What are you pretending not to know?

579
00:41:33.040 --> 00:41:35.200
Well, I guess I'm pretending not to know that I'm

580
00:41:36.560 --> 00:41:38.780
This is who I really am in this way

581
00:41:41.800 --> 00:41:43.800
It's a really interesting question

582
00:41:44.720 --> 00:41:46.720
I

583
00:41:47.160 --> 00:41:50.920
Can see Abrams face I can see his light I sing I can see the light Bob going off

584
00:41:52.560 --> 00:41:55.240
Hey, I know Abrams thinking he's like, yeah, I

585
00:41:56.400 --> 00:41:59.060
See it. I can feel it. I

586
00:42:00.360 --> 00:42:04.240
Can I know and in here's the thing?

587
00:42:06.280 --> 00:42:11.040
You could come to that point many many times but until you until you

588
00:42:12.040 --> 00:42:19.040
Say it until you articulate it it was it will still be there

589
00:42:22.000 --> 00:42:26.520
And I'll tell you one of the activations we did in this in this next level experience was

590
00:42:27.640 --> 00:42:30.400
standing up up in front of the group and declaring like

591
00:42:31.880 --> 00:42:33.880
Who are you?

592
00:42:35.120 --> 00:42:37.040
We all had to do it

593
00:42:37.120 --> 00:42:40.640
And we were forced to do it and it was like it's like and people were like well

594
00:42:40.640 --> 00:42:43.960
I'm good at this and I think I'd like to do this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

595
00:42:44.720 --> 00:42:49.880
Not what are you good at not? What do you'd like to do? Not? What do you want to do? No, no

596
00:42:50.720 --> 00:42:52.720
Who are you?

597
00:42:53.240 --> 00:42:55.240
and it was

598
00:42:56.840 --> 00:42:59.040
Really coming to the point of like I am

599
00:43:00.520 --> 00:43:02.520
Thus and such

600
00:43:03.520 --> 00:43:08.320
And they were I am statements that basically some of them were actually

601
00:43:09.800 --> 00:43:14.400
Actually actually true in the moment and some of them were like

602
00:43:15.800 --> 00:43:18.880
future statements about a future actualization

603
00:43:20.760 --> 00:43:22.760
Because you could see them now

604
00:43:23.000 --> 00:43:25.000
You could say I am

605
00:43:25.640 --> 00:43:29.120
This for instance if you're not a father

606
00:43:29.400 --> 00:43:32.200
But you're like you have a desire to be a good father

607
00:43:33.200 --> 00:43:36.400
You would say I am the best father to my children

608
00:43:36.640 --> 00:43:38.640
Even though you might not have children right now

609
00:43:38.800 --> 00:43:42.160
But you could see that and you have that desire and you make that statement

610
00:43:42.160 --> 00:43:47.680
You're like, you know what? I'm pretending to act like I couldn't be a good father, but I'm actually would be a great father

611
00:43:49.280 --> 00:43:51.040
And you're like

612
00:43:51.040 --> 00:43:56.080
I'm the best father to my children and somebody's like you but you don't have kids. Yeah, but when I do

613
00:43:56.080 --> 00:43:58.080
Yeah, but when I do

614
00:44:00.000 --> 00:44:04.520
I'm gonna be the best dad to my kids. You don't you just watch just you wait and see

615
00:44:09.200 --> 00:44:12.360
But that's what that's what this that's what this question is all about

616
00:44:18.000 --> 00:44:20.000
Anybody else want to share

617
00:44:22.920 --> 00:44:24.920
I would like to

618
00:44:26.080 --> 00:44:28.080
Go ahead David

619
00:44:29.080 --> 00:44:32.320
Hey, um, I know you guys like warned about this but I

620
00:44:33.400 --> 00:44:36.720
It's been a lot of breakthrough lately and I'm thanking God for it

621
00:44:36.720 --> 00:44:41.240
But yeah, I'm having real problems in the last few days of extreme anger and sometime

622
00:44:41.240 --> 00:44:43.240
I've heard over the years that some people say

623
00:44:43.600 --> 00:44:46.040
You know depression is like repressed anger

624
00:44:46.040 --> 00:44:49.320
But what do you think about that and anyone else who wants to weigh in on that?

625
00:44:50.320 --> 00:44:54.320
Well, I mean like Jackie says she has a statement I mean this isn't

626
00:44:55.160 --> 00:45:00.160
Like universe, this isn't just a blanket statement, but she says like this anger typically

627
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:07.360
is hurt and fears bodyguard so when you react in anger it's ticked if it's

628
00:45:07.360 --> 00:45:15.240
typically something that is is is it's definitely a pain indicator and it's a

629
00:45:15.240 --> 00:45:19.920
good thing because it's coming out if you've been just this like very

630
00:45:19.920 --> 00:45:25.480
peaceable very like normal like like chill dude and you're like I don't I

631
00:45:25.480 --> 00:45:30.400
don't bother anybody I'm not trying to impose myself on anybody and I'm a nice

632
00:45:30.400 --> 00:45:34.800
guy and everything and that's your typical demeanor and then all of a

633
00:45:34.800 --> 00:45:40.600
sudden you're like I'm man I've been angry that is an indicator something

634
00:45:40.600 --> 00:45:48.480
that's trying to be released and get and and get out of you and so it's good but

635
00:45:48.480 --> 00:45:57.400
typically it indicates something that like is fear and hurt so you're not like

636
00:45:57.400 --> 00:46:01.880
what are you angry about what do you want to explore is like what is it

637
00:46:01.880 --> 00:46:05.360
making is there a true specific trigger is it something that somebody says it's

638
00:46:05.360 --> 00:46:11.440
a situation is it a person is it a is it a you know what is the thing that sort

639
00:46:11.440 --> 00:46:17.200
of triggering the anger is it frustration with yourself you know or is

640
00:46:17.200 --> 00:46:21.520
it you know what is it that's like if you can sort of mark that then that might

641
00:46:21.520 --> 00:46:26.320
giving you an indicator as far as like what is what is the what is the thing

642
00:46:26.320 --> 00:46:30.760
that's being feared or what is the thing that you're being hurt about that's

643
00:46:30.760 --> 00:46:34.560
that's really the work to do there that's kind of the simple answer but

644
00:46:34.560 --> 00:46:41.880
anybody else want to try so there is a point to the anger that you aren't able

645
00:46:41.880 --> 00:46:47.440
to express if you turn inward will become depression so that I mean I think

646
00:46:47.440 --> 00:46:52.600
there's two different things there like they're two distinct entities right now

647
00:46:52.600 --> 00:46:58.360
if you have had so which actually if you look at that so it could be anger towards

648
00:46:58.360 --> 00:47:03.320
yourself if you've been depressed and you've been angry at yourself or are not

649
00:47:03.320 --> 00:47:07.640
able to express that like how why haven't you been able to express it and

650
00:47:07.640 --> 00:47:11.200
look that because there's a pain that you felt that you weren't able to

651
00:47:11.200 --> 00:47:15.920
express and then you turn it inward and now it's coming outward so you can see

652
00:47:15.920 --> 00:47:19.720
it and get to the core of it but like pretty much what David said it's just an

653
00:47:19.720 --> 00:47:23.480
end it's just an indicator on your dashboard that you need to look at

654
00:47:23.480 --> 00:47:29.040
things for sure and so treat it as a good thing don't treat it like the

655
00:47:29.040 --> 00:47:33.520
wheels are falling off and you don't want to you know go into this like anger

656
00:47:33.520 --> 00:47:37.280
depression sort of thing and let it take over your life but you want to see it as

657
00:47:37.320 --> 00:47:41.360
an indicator you want to see it as a dashboard light and you want to look

658
00:47:41.360 --> 00:47:44.600
into that and go what is it that's triggering this anger is it when I do

659
00:47:44.600 --> 00:47:49.240
something or is it is it when I go to a certain place is it when I you know see

660
00:47:49.240 --> 00:47:53.040
somebody or is it you know when I think about this situation what is it that's

661
00:47:53.040 --> 00:47:58.600
triggering the anger and it focus it on that and then ask Holy Spirit what is

662
00:47:58.600 --> 00:48:03.480
the truth about this situation what is the truth about this person what is the

663
00:48:03.480 --> 00:48:08.320
truth about this memory maybe it's a memory of something that's triggering

664
00:48:08.320 --> 00:48:12.200
that maybe it's just a situation that you're dealing with right now the

665
00:48:12.200 --> 00:48:18.480
situationally like you know I don't know it's triggering it so look at what the

666
00:48:18.480 --> 00:48:23.240
where the trigger is and then ask Holy Spirit okay what is the truth about this

667
00:48:23.240 --> 00:48:27.840
situation that needs to be healed

668
00:48:28.840 --> 00:48:39.120
okay go ahead go ahead I found for me and and well I guess I'm not gonna say

669
00:48:39.120 --> 00:48:43.160
all guys in general but anger is like a blanket that you throw over everything

670
00:48:43.160 --> 00:48:48.840
because you're hurt or you're frustrated you're angry if someone and for me I

671
00:48:48.840 --> 00:48:53.560
find if I start saying oh if I feel hurt and I say oh I don't care that's like

672
00:48:53.560 --> 00:48:58.640
I cover mechanism because I really do care and it's yeah it's like pushing it

673
00:48:58.640 --> 00:49:03.000
down so whenever I go oh yeah I don't care that this happened but I really do

674
00:49:03.000 --> 00:49:07.440
and and then and then if you're frustrated or whatever or you don't want

675
00:49:07.440 --> 00:49:12.520
to feel hurt or pain so you just get angry and it's just a big blanket and

676
00:49:12.520 --> 00:49:15.640
then now you don't have to look at your what's really causing it because you're

677
00:49:15.640 --> 00:49:21.040
just going off yeah this is why men explode a lot because there's a lot of

678
00:49:21.040 --> 00:49:26.240
things happening and we're a man like you know like Jackie's even outlined

679
00:49:26.240 --> 00:49:29.680
this very clearly it's kind of like the box of crayons when you're in kinder in

680
00:49:29.680 --> 00:49:35.440
first grade you know we have eight colors men do we have like eight

681
00:49:35.440 --> 00:49:42.360
emotions or maybe even less women they have like 248 you know they're like all

682
00:49:42.360 --> 00:49:45.280
nuance and all these different things and they understand these things they

683
00:49:45.280 --> 00:49:48.640
have emotion for this and emotion for that whatever lots of times it's just

684
00:49:48.640 --> 00:49:53.720
like dude I got one color it's red I'm pissed off like everything pisses me

685
00:49:53.720 --> 00:49:58.720
off and that's the one emotion I have and so when I get emotional I just get

686
00:49:58.720 --> 00:50:01.000
mad

687
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.440
You know, and it's just like, okay, so that's just your indicator.

688
00:50:04.440 --> 00:50:05.440
That's all.

689
00:50:05.440 --> 00:50:06.440
Okay.

690
00:50:06.440 --> 00:50:07.440
Yeah.

691
00:50:07.440 --> 00:50:15.400
I think it's important to note that we're basically up until maybe less than a year

692
00:50:15.400 --> 00:50:19.680
ago, I've been stuffing in motions and violating my own boundaries, but I didn't know what

693
00:50:19.680 --> 00:50:20.680
that was.

694
00:50:20.680 --> 00:50:21.680
Okay.

695
00:50:21.680 --> 00:50:27.160
You know, you know, it's saying violating your own boundaries, how about overextending

696
00:50:27.160 --> 00:50:32.160
myself with my strength, which became a weakness, as you know, Jackie says, you overextend it.

697
00:50:32.160 --> 00:50:37.040
You mean, you mean like you've been too giving of yourself, letting other people take advantage

698
00:50:37.040 --> 00:50:38.040
of you.

699
00:50:38.040 --> 00:50:39.040
Yeah.

700
00:50:39.040 --> 00:50:40.040
Yeah.

701
00:50:40.040 --> 00:50:45.280
And that comes from, that comes from poor, you know, parental connection.

702
00:50:45.280 --> 00:50:51.600
If they go back to those areas, then you learn how to put out the fires and the, and, and

703
00:50:51.600 --> 00:50:52.600
get parentified.

704
00:50:53.600 --> 00:50:54.600
Yeah.

705
00:50:54.600 --> 00:50:55.600
It's reversed.

706
00:50:55.600 --> 00:50:59.600
You become the, the one that one or both the parents, you know, emotional support, and

707
00:50:59.600 --> 00:51:01.600
you're not supposed to do that when you're a child.

708
00:51:01.600 --> 00:51:07.600
It has, you know, it's very, it's very toxic and yeah.

709
00:51:07.600 --> 00:51:11.400
So the, so the, the place to start there, if you, if you're connecting it with like

710
00:51:11.400 --> 00:51:16.800
how you're raised first place to start there, it's just kind of like taking a moment to

711
00:51:16.800 --> 00:51:21.720
do heartwork, do the forgiveness prayer centered around your parents.

712
00:51:21.840 --> 00:51:25.720
And it's just a general raising of your parents overall.

713
00:51:25.720 --> 00:51:30.400
And then there might be some specific instances that you remember where you felt like you

714
00:51:30.400 --> 00:51:31.680
were unsupported like that.

715
00:51:31.680 --> 00:51:39.000
You were unheard, you were not taken seriously and you were taken advantage of whatever way.

716
00:51:39.000 --> 00:51:44.360
And then you just, you walk through the forgiveness prayer for each one of those memories.

717
00:51:44.360 --> 00:51:47.120
And you can take time to do that.

718
00:51:47.120 --> 00:51:52.120
If you have a moment of time, like an afternoon or something and do some stuff like that.

719
00:51:52.120 --> 00:51:58.320
Can you guys still hear me?

720
00:51:58.320 --> 00:52:05.160
Some reason I'm trying to, can you, yeah, cool.

721
00:52:05.160 --> 00:52:10.800
If you don't have a long time, you can just do it over like a number of different sessions.

722
00:52:10.800 --> 00:52:13.040
Take 15 minutes here and there.

723
00:52:13.040 --> 00:52:16.760
If you're, if I'm core memory is coming up, that's, that's, that's triggering your anger

724
00:52:16.760 --> 00:52:22.200
or you're thinking like, Oh, I remembered that one time when this happened.

725
00:52:22.200 --> 00:52:27.080
And then take that as a core memory and then process that through the forgiveness prayer.

726
00:52:27.080 --> 00:52:28.520
It's in your heartwork materials.

727
00:52:28.520 --> 00:52:29.520
Okay.

728
00:52:29.520 --> 00:52:31.840
It's in the book.

729
00:52:31.840 --> 00:52:36.440
And you just walk through that forgiveness prayer for each one of those core memories.

730
00:52:36.440 --> 00:52:41.880
And you can just continue doing that for each one.

731
00:52:41.880 --> 00:52:46.000
And the more you do that, and the more you walk through it, you just trust something.

732
00:52:46.000 --> 00:52:48.760
Something may not, you may not feel anything change.

733
00:52:48.760 --> 00:52:52.480
You may not feel like all this relief or this weight lifted off, whatever, or you may feel

734
00:52:52.480 --> 00:52:53.480
that.

735
00:52:53.480 --> 00:52:54.480
That's awesome if you do.

736
00:52:54.480 --> 00:52:58.180
But even if you don't, what you're doing is you're just releasing and you're just trusting

737
00:52:58.180 --> 00:53:04.280
God and trusting the process of forgiveness and you're trusting Holy Spirit to do the

738
00:53:04.280 --> 00:53:10.200
work that's necessary inside of you to get you to the point of the healed heart.

739
00:53:11.200 --> 00:53:12.440
All right.

740
00:53:12.440 --> 00:53:18.320
I guess real quick, another side thing would be, I'm still trying to learn how to correctly

741
00:53:18.320 --> 00:53:23.800
process grief and not get stuck in it because like 13 years ago, 13 years ago, my dad passed

742
00:53:23.800 --> 00:53:29.000
away and the first four years after that were crazy.

743
00:53:29.000 --> 00:53:31.320
Like I, I did not too well.

744
00:53:31.320 --> 00:53:38.200
I mean, it was, you know, I didn't make any plans, but it wasn't good like suicide wise,

745
00:53:38.200 --> 00:53:39.200
you know what I mean?

746
00:53:39.200 --> 00:53:46.040
So anyway, but yeah, and it put a lot of delay in my life, you know, from like situation

747
00:53:46.040 --> 00:53:52.120
of like, you know, your dad passing and there's some unresolved, you know, feelings from how

748
00:53:52.120 --> 00:53:53.720
your relationship was with your dad.

749
00:53:53.720 --> 00:53:55.160
There can be that.

750
00:53:55.160 --> 00:54:04.680
And you can process through the same thing, you know, and do some forgiveness around the

751
00:54:04.680 --> 00:54:16.760
fact that, you know, your dad passed away before bringing some resolve to that.

752
00:54:16.760 --> 00:54:21.440
And we even do some stuff too, where, you know, like, I mean, I, I I'll apologize as

753
00:54:21.440 --> 00:54:28.200
a father, you know, as to my own children, I am a father and I'll stand in the stead

754
00:54:28.200 --> 00:54:29.200
of your father.

755
00:54:29.200 --> 00:54:32.280
And I will tell you, I'm sorry.

756
00:54:32.280 --> 00:54:39.000
I'm sorry that I, that I'm gone and I passed away and that I wasn't able to resolve whatever

757
00:54:39.000 --> 00:54:40.000
issues.

758
00:54:40.000 --> 00:54:46.840
I'm sorry that I treated you or didn't attend to you the way that, that I should have as

759
00:54:46.840 --> 00:54:47.840
your father.

760
00:54:47.840 --> 00:54:53.440
I'm sorry that I didn't give you the resources and the training and the fatherly instruction

761
00:54:53.440 --> 00:54:59.280
that you needed from me in order to live a full life.

762
00:54:59.280 --> 00:55:00.280
And I'm sorry that I'm.

763
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:03.120
I'm not here anymore, but I love you.

764
00:55:03.900 --> 00:55:04.920
I've always loved you.

765
00:55:05.320 --> 00:55:08.640
I valued you and I'm sorry.

766
00:55:08.640 --> 00:55:12.040
And I repent to you that, that I wasn't there for you like that.

767
00:55:14.120 --> 00:55:16.720
And I'll tell you that as a father, I'll stand in the stead of

768
00:55:16.720 --> 00:55:18.080
your father and tell you that.

769
00:55:19.160 --> 00:55:22.840
And if you can accept that, he can receive that and you can process

770
00:55:22.840 --> 00:55:25.520
some forgiveness around that, that can bring some healing to

771
00:55:25.520 --> 00:55:26.640
you in that situation as well.

772
00:55:27.640 --> 00:55:32.160
They can release you also have the grief of that because what grief

773
00:55:32.160 --> 00:55:40.000
usually is, it's not grief is usually unresolved feelings and emotions

774
00:55:40.000 --> 00:55:45.160
and in situations because it's, you feel like it's not capable anymore

775
00:55:45.160 --> 00:55:46.760
because that person's just not here anymore.

776
00:55:48.120 --> 00:55:49.520
That's typically what grief is.

777
00:55:50.480 --> 00:55:53.680
The loss of the ability to reconcile.

778
00:55:57.640 --> 00:55:57.920
Yeah.

779
00:55:58.320 --> 00:55:58.600
Yeah.

780
00:55:58.640 --> 00:56:02.520
The thing that's triggering it the most right now is my mom is having health

781
00:56:02.520 --> 00:56:11.320
issues, she's in the hospital again and she's 81 now, so, but like considering

782
00:56:11.320 --> 00:56:19.800
that she's like still really strong and mentally sharp, but it's just.

783
00:56:19.800 --> 00:56:21.120
You have a good relationship with her?

784
00:56:22.120 --> 00:56:28.320
Oh, well, it was pretty much kind of lousy until like, I mean, it was

785
00:56:28.840 --> 00:56:35.000
mediocre, I would say, but yeah, that was partly had to do with where I was at.

786
00:56:35.000 --> 00:56:38.160
But like since, since January, it's been a lot better.

787
00:56:38.520 --> 00:56:41.840
I spent a lot of time with her and I guess the thing that's triggering me is I'm like

788
00:56:41.840 --> 00:56:43.920
the social person out of my siblings.

789
00:56:44.400 --> 00:56:44.840
Uh huh.

790
00:56:45.600 --> 00:56:50.760
So I take on taking care of her while the other two don't do that much because

791
00:56:50.880 --> 00:56:55.320
they're more, they're more like, I don't know if you ever heard the difference.

792
00:56:56.040 --> 00:56:58.800
I forget how to say it, but some people are more like facts oriented.

793
00:56:58.800 --> 00:57:02.040
Other people are more relational oriented, but yeah.

794
00:57:02.080 --> 00:57:05.400
So like, I'm like, I always felt like the black sheep out of my siblings.

795
00:57:05.400 --> 00:57:09.880
Cause you know, but I gotta be careful if I take on, it's one thing if I want to do

796
00:57:09.880 --> 00:57:12.800
it, but I'm just doing it because no one else wants to do it.

797
00:57:12.800 --> 00:57:14.000
That's yeah.

798
00:57:14.000 --> 00:57:17.600
That's, that's going to trigger a lot of.

799
00:57:18.600 --> 00:57:21.520
Raw emotion at least isn't something that's anger.

800
00:57:21.520 --> 00:57:21.840
Yeah.

801
00:57:22.480 --> 00:57:28.200
So anyway, yeah, no, yeah, no, that's very common.

802
00:57:28.200 --> 00:57:29.040
Very typical.

803
00:57:29.080 --> 00:57:30.800
I can, I can understand that.

804
00:57:31.240 --> 00:57:40.560
Um, and you want to do the best you can to, you know, to, with the relationship

805
00:57:40.560 --> 00:57:45.520
that you, that you still have and that she's still around, um, and just trust

806
00:57:45.520 --> 00:57:49.160
that God's going to create an open door for that.

807
00:57:49.920 --> 00:57:54.800
Um, but definitely process, continue to process forgiveness and releasing

808
00:57:54.800 --> 00:57:56.680
through, through that hard work process.

809
00:57:57.600 --> 00:57:59.240
Um, and work through it.

810
00:58:00.560 --> 00:58:01.000
I'm thankful.

811
00:58:01.000 --> 00:58:02.560
It's the best it's ever been actually.

812
00:58:02.560 --> 00:58:06.680
And I actually see her, you know, cause she didn't have a father growing up.

813
00:58:06.960 --> 00:58:12.160
I mean, they got, they got divorced when she was 13 and, and I think she'd struggle

814
00:58:12.160 --> 00:58:15.040
with being like emotionally dysregulated and all that kind of stuff.

815
00:58:15.920 --> 00:58:18.040
She's into that all this time, you know?

816
00:58:18.080 --> 00:58:21.680
So, but yeah.

817
00:58:22.040 --> 00:58:22.240
Yeah.

818
00:58:22.240 --> 00:58:26.120
The same situation right now where I'm just trying to reconcile my dad's

819
00:58:26.120 --> 00:58:28.720
84, he'll be 85 here this month.

820
00:58:29.360 --> 00:58:32.600
And, um, he was gone most of my life.

821
00:58:33.440 --> 00:58:34.720
Um, not in a bad way.

822
00:58:35.040 --> 00:58:40.920
He was in a, he's not a bad person, but he just was abdicated the father ship

823
00:58:40.960 --> 00:58:43.040
because he was just off doing his own thing.

824
00:58:43.960 --> 00:58:49.080
My mom divorced him when I was three years old and moved me to Ohio and

825
00:58:49.080 --> 00:58:51.320
moved me out of proximity to my dad.

826
00:58:51.920 --> 00:58:55.280
I got to see him a couple of weeks a year and maybe call him on the

827
00:58:55.280 --> 00:58:56.600
phone a couple of times a year.

828
00:58:56.600 --> 00:58:57.160
And that was it.

829
00:58:57.600 --> 00:59:01.560
It was the only father connection I had with my biological father.

830
00:59:02.600 --> 00:59:08.000
And even though I had a good surrogate stepfather or bonus dad, he was a good

831
00:59:08.000 --> 00:59:12.560
man too, he was, but he was a different kind of a father to me, didn't

832
00:59:12.560 --> 00:59:15.840
understand me quite as well as my biological father would have sort of

833
00:59:15.840 --> 00:59:19.600
that innate understanding of me.

834
00:59:20.760 --> 00:59:22.880
I always felt like there was something I was missing.

835
00:59:23.560 --> 00:59:26.480
So I had two dads and I still felt fatherless.

836
00:59:27.200 --> 00:59:27.600
Right.

837
00:59:28.440 --> 00:59:33.080
But now in my later years, I've moved my dad in proximity to me in the last

838
00:59:33.080 --> 00:59:39.240
couple of years and he's 85, there's not as much relational part of it because

839
00:59:39.240 --> 00:59:42.760
he's sort of stuck in his way and he is who he is and he's talks how he is.

840
00:59:42.760 --> 00:59:48.720
And he's not completely relational, but I'm, I'm making the best of it in

841
00:59:48.720 --> 00:59:55.880
these later years and redeeming some of that time, whatever I can, you know?

842
00:59:57.440 --> 00:59:58.880
And it's, it's not perfect.

843
00:59:58.920 --> 00:59:59.960
There's lots of things.

844
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:09.200
But I've had to release a lot of that, I've had to walk in forgiveness, and I've had to kind of allow God to do as much of a redemptive work as possible.

845
01:00:11.000 --> 01:00:11.800
So I feel you.

846
01:00:14.300 --> 01:00:15.000
Feel you on that.

847
01:00:17.900 --> 01:00:18.600
Thank you, David.

848
01:00:18.600 --> 01:00:19.400
I appreciate it.

849
01:00:19.700 --> 01:00:21.900
Sorry, I didn't mean to keep going on and on, but it's like—

850
01:00:21.900 --> 01:00:22.300
That's all right.

851
01:00:22.300 --> 01:00:24.300
No, this is what these are calling for.

852
01:00:24.800 --> 01:00:28.500
I think I might be an external processor, and that's really hard to do when you live by yourself.

853
01:00:29.300 --> 01:00:30.600
No, I get it.

854
01:00:30.800 --> 01:00:31.400
I get it.

855
01:00:31.800 --> 01:00:38.300
You need to find somebody that's in proximity to you that you can do some of that processing with.

856
01:00:38.700 --> 01:00:39.500
That's important.

857
01:00:39.900 --> 01:00:58.400
Now, you're social, so I challenge you a little bit to use some of your social ability to find somebody who's—allow the Holy Spirit to really connect you with somebody who's a friend that you can just chill with.

858
01:00:59.100 --> 01:01:05.500
I'm thinking a guy, but maybe it's the person that's your significant other.

859
01:01:06.700 --> 01:01:07.700
Maybe it's your spirit mate.

860
01:01:08.500 --> 01:01:22.400
Yeah, the thing I've done lately is—you could argue I've burned bridges, but a lot of those relationships that I had to let go recently were all built on me being insecure, and I felt like I draw—you know, the same as I was insecure, I was drawing the same type of people.

861
01:01:22.700 --> 01:01:23.600
Right, right.

862
01:01:23.900 --> 01:01:27.600
We just got to the point where we're starting to annoy each other, if you want to be honest.

863
01:01:27.600 --> 01:01:44.400
I mean, we'd never say that or admit it, but we're just—all we did, you know, it's like we would be cordial and polite most of the time and talk about, you know, lighter stuff, but underneath—but at times, we'd really jab each other, and it's just like, this is not healthy, you know?

864
01:01:44.700 --> 01:01:45.100
Yeah.

865
01:01:46.900 --> 01:01:52.400
So I just pray—I just agree with you that the Holy Spirit's going to really—because proximity is important.

866
01:01:52.400 --> 01:01:53.200
It really is.

867
01:01:53.200 --> 01:02:22.900
And I believe there's somebody that God has for you to make that connection that's appropriate, that you guys can be strengthening to each other, and whether that's a guy that's a friend or even somebody who's your spirit mate, that you can, you know, connect with in a healthful situation, not a codependent situation, not an annoying situation, but just an appropriate relationship that can be healthy to you.

868
01:02:23.300 --> 01:02:36.500
I just agree with you right now, the Holy Spirit, that someone in proximity to David, that person that you have prepared for him, Lord, will reveal themselves, and that will begin to happen for him because proximity is important.

869
01:02:36.900 --> 01:02:38.900
You've made preparation for him.

870
01:02:39.100 --> 01:02:40.100
You care for him.

871
01:02:40.100 --> 01:02:41.000
You see him.

872
01:02:42.500 --> 01:02:46.800
And I just agree with that, that there'll be a breakthrough in that relationship in Jesus' name.

873
01:02:49.700 --> 01:02:50.300
Amen.

874
01:02:54.200 --> 01:02:56.200
Wow, guys, this was good.

875
01:02:56.200 --> 01:02:57.000
This was good.

876
01:02:57.700 --> 01:03:10.500
I hope you guys are getting all—I mean, just because we're processing David and processing Joshua and Mike, hopefully you're getting a lot of—out of this.

877
01:03:11.500 --> 01:03:16.700
Write down that question that I asked because it's a powerful one.

878
01:03:16.700 --> 01:03:23.600
It's one of those questions that, like, you can continue to search out and answer and to really go for it.

879
01:03:23.600 --> 01:03:27.600
That is, like, what is it you're pretending not to know?

880
01:03:29.300 --> 01:03:30.300
It's a big question.

881
01:03:33.800 --> 01:03:34.500
Okay.

882
01:03:34.700 --> 01:03:35.200
Amen.

883
01:03:35.900 --> 01:03:36.400
All right.

884
01:03:36.800 --> 01:03:37.300
Amen.

885
01:03:38.100 --> 01:03:41.800
I—we're past the hour, guys, so I want to respect your time.

886
01:03:41.900 --> 01:03:48.500
And if there's something you want to share, definitely you can—you have my email.

887
01:03:48.600 --> 01:03:49.300
Reach out.

888
01:03:49.700 --> 01:03:51.700
We can share and process together as well.

889
01:03:52.200 --> 01:03:59.200
So we'll do that, and I will see you guys soon at a later time.

890
01:03:59.400 --> 01:04:00.500
Have a blessed week, gentlemen.

891
01:04:01.000 --> 01:04:01.900
God bless you guys.

892
01:04:02.700 --> 01:04:03.700
Have a good night, everybody.

893
01:04:03.700 --> 01:04:04.900
Oh, hey, Thursday, guys.

894
01:04:05.100 --> 01:04:06.000
Don't forget Thursday.

895
01:04:06.900 --> 01:04:09.000
Check your calendars as they—what is it?

896
01:04:13.500 --> 01:04:15.000
Halftime shift on Thursday.

897
01:04:15.500 --> 01:04:16.400
It's on your calendars.

898
01:04:16.400 --> 01:04:17.700
It's there on—it's all community.

899
01:04:17.700 --> 01:04:19.000
It's like an all-community night.

900
01:04:20.500 --> 01:04:21.300
Real quick question.

901
01:04:21.300 --> 01:04:22.600
Was there no men's meeting last night?

902
01:04:22.600 --> 01:04:23.600
Because there's no recording.

903
01:04:23.900 --> 01:04:27.700
Last week, was there no meeting, or was it not recorded by accident?

904
01:04:27.700 --> 01:04:28.200
No, no, no.

905
01:04:28.200 --> 01:04:29.600
I thought it was recorded.

906
01:04:30.900 --> 01:04:31.900
I'll look for the recording.

907
01:04:31.900 --> 01:04:33.400
I'm pretty sure it was recorded.

908
01:04:34.100 --> 01:04:35.500
Yeah, I don't see it in the thing.

909
01:04:35.500 --> 01:04:36.600
I see the one on the third.

910
01:04:37.100 --> 01:04:38.000
I'll check up on it.

911
01:04:38.900 --> 01:04:40.500
I'll check up on it and see if it was recorded.

912
01:04:40.500 --> 01:04:42.100
I'm pretty sure we hit record.

913
01:04:43.100 --> 01:04:43.600
Okay.

914
01:04:44.000 --> 01:04:45.100
But, well, I'll check into that.

915
01:04:45.100 --> 01:04:46.700
Thanks for bringing that to my attention.

916
01:04:47.600 --> 01:04:48.100
All right.

917
01:04:48.200 --> 01:04:48.800
Bye, guys.

918
01:04:50.200 --> 01:04:50.700
Have a blessed night.