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Hello. Welcome. So glad to have you all joining us tonight. I'm so excited to be here with

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you and hear what God is going to say to us tonight. Hi. Hi, Katie. I haven't seen you

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on screen for a little bit. It's nice to see you. Welcome for those that are joining us

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new for the first time. If anyone's new, if this is your first time with us tonight, would

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you put that in the chat for me so that I can just see that you're new. Welcome you.

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If you're joining us again, welcome back. So glad to have you joining us again tonight.

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I want to encourage you all a couple of things. I have a little bit of extra housekeeping

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tonight, but I just want to make sure everybody hears all of this. Hi, Karen W. and Elise.

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Welcome, Elise, for your second time, Karen, for your first. Hopefully it's an amazing experience

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for you tonight. I believe God has some special stuff planned for all of us. On Supernatural

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Saturday, if you all don't know what that is yet, every Saturday as a part of your part of the

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last year single program, Jackie typically goes live on Saturday mornings and does just like,

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hey, what is heaven saying to us as a community, as a movement, and that replay is up under your

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replay tab. Want to definitely check that out. We also put a post up in the group under the

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community tab every Sunday morning that is connected to the Supernatural Saturday word

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that's released called the weekly roll call. It's one of the ways we can also check in and say,

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hey, where are you at in the heart work as well? So definitely chime in. Let us know how the heart

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work's going for you. Let us know what is God saying to you personally through that word

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released on Supernatural Saturday. Again, that's under the replay tab. You can check that out there

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for that roll call post. We want to encourage you to continue to jump into community,

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to participate, to give feedback, to say, hey, this is what I'm processing from week three,

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if you're in week three, and really just allow God to transform you through this

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dynamic heart healing process. And a lot of the dynamic components come from you participating

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truly, because the more that you're interacting with the truth, with what you're learning,

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with your questions, and you're coming into the group, or even during these live sessions,

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the more we can coach you and kind of just come alongside of you and assist you in your healing

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process. A couple other things, for those of you that haven't heard, there is a halftime reset

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happening. I want to make sure you all don't get FOMO, okay? Your halftime reset is here in the

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heart work. That's what your halftime reset is right now. All right, so I want to encourage you,

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don't feel like you're, you know, afraid, and you have to rush through your heart work to get over

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to the other phases, because you're going to miss out on something. You're not going to miss out,

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because God knew exactly when you were signing up for the heart work. He ordained this time for you,

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so just lean right in to what God is doing in you in this season of the heart work. So that's what

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your halftime reset is. We're going to be working on getting the affirmations up, just so that you

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can at least partner with those that Jackie declared on Saturday morning. But if you all

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didn't hear, one of the key things that she said is, we want to ask God, what are the affirmations

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that he's speaking to us personally? It's amazing. I've used other people's affirmations

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before and declared those over myself, so absolutely do that. But please don't miss the

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second step. The second step is to say, God, what do you want to say over me for the remainder of

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2025? And really ask God for declarations for yourself. And on that note, I want to encourage

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you all, last week I put a quote out to you all that said this, I'm the perfect age for everything

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God has for me right now. I'm the perfect age for everything God has for me right now. And that's

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coming against and warring against the lies that sometimes we believe that we were late, we're late

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for a very important date, right? No time to say hello, goodbye, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late. What

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are we late for? Well, sometimes we believe we're late, we missed the boat on the person, we missed

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the boat on the baby, whatever that is for you. Maybe for you it's a job, I don't know. Whatever

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it is that you feel like, oh my gosh, I'm behind everybody else. And the enemy's trying to get you

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into comparison, we're going to talk about that tonight. But I want to encourage you to come out

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of alignment and agreement with those things and come into alignment and agreement with the truth

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that you are in the perfect place and space for everything God has for you right now.

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The healing that he has for you, you're in the perfect timing for it. You've been prepared for

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this. And I believe that God wants to give you amazing things on this journey. I'm going to

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Go ahead and pray, and then we're going to dive right into the content tonight because we've got a lot to track through.

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It's going to be exciting.

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Father, thank you so much for this night.

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We thank you, God, for revealings for healing that are going to happen.

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God, we thank you that you bring things out of darkness into the light so that we can be set free,

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so that we can come into a heavenly understanding and an upgrade of who that you say that we are.

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God, we thank you that you would break off shackles, off of minds, off of hearts, off of spirits.

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God, that whom the Son has set free is free indeed.

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God, we thank you for sending Jesus.

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And Jesus, we thank you for your blood that you allowed to be shed,

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for the forgiveness of our sins, for our freedom, for our redemption, for our healing, for our resurrection, for our life.

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We thank you that you would awaken dreams, that you would awaken just, Lord,

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a hunger and a desire for us to live more abundantly, to come out of hiding in every way.

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God, where the enemy, through trauma or through situations, has pressed us down, pulled us back, knocked us down,

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whatever that looks like, that you would help us to get back up tonight,

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that we would walk forward with courage, that our eyes would be set towards heaven,

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and we would hear what your Spirit is saying, and we would see what your Spirit is doing.

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We just thank you, Holy Spirit, for being here tonight,

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that you would weave in and out of the whole night, every conversation, every word,

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that every woman would receive exactly what it is that they need to receive

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so that they can get more breakthrough supernaturally through the power of Jesus Christ.

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We just thank you for doing an amazing work in all of our hearts, minds, bodies, spirits, and souls.

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In Jesus' name, amen, amen, amen.

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All right, ladies, we're going to track through this tonight. It's going to be amazing.

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One of the things I want to give to you all, before we go into the actual content about the real you,

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is that this afternoon, as we were preparing to go into the content,

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I heard the Lord say, and I almost wasn't going to say this tonight,

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because I felt like maybe this was just for this afternoon, but the Lord said, say it again.

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So I'm going to release this. It's going to be on the recording.

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I believe it is for someone here as well tonight.

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And this is what the word is. Make room for the new that God has for you.

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Make room for the new that God has for you.

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And what I mean by that is that some of you are still looking backwards,

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and God is asking you to make room for the new.

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For those of you in heart work, I'm going to challenge you to clear,

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literally this week, time on your calendar and block it out just for your heart healing.

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Nothing else. Nothing else.

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And I know some of you already do that, and it comes easy to you,

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but there's some other people in here that I really believe God is saying you're struggling,

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you're getting distracted, and you're not prioritizing your own healing,

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your own resurrection, if you will, in this time.

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And so I want to encourage you, again, block that time out and really fight for it.

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I mean, so many of us, we're fighting for other people,

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we're contending for other people, we're ministering to other people,

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and we have words for other people.

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But then when it comes to us, we're like, oh, I can do that later.

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Can anyone else relate to that?

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Something God's speaking to you about and everything else can take priority.

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But then we're like on the back burner all the time.

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And God said the time for that is over.

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In this season, I believe God is calling us to a now season that we would intentionally stay focused.

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And so when Jackie is releasing words about the halftime reset,

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when that kind of comes into our Supernatural Saturday,

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and you all hear some of those words,

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I do want you to hear what the Lord is saying to you through those,

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but don't get distracted from your heart work.

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How can you make room in your heart to believe for your spirit mate?

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I don't want you to go off dating men.

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You don't need to do that right now.

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Remember, we want you to press pause on dating while you're here.

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We don't want you to be on the apps.

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We don't want you to try to go out and find a guy.

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We want you to work on your heart work because I can guarantee you if you will do that,

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if you will dedicate yourself and this time to that journey a few months from now,

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some of you are going to be like, whoa.

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Oh my gosh, I'm so much different.

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And guess what? When we're more healed and more whole,

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we're going to attract someone different. It's going to be a whole different ballgame.

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So ladies dial in make room because God has something special.

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He wants to do in your heart in life and he wants to do it now.

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Now again, you can't miss the boat.

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I don't want this to feel shameful for anybody.

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If you've been here for a little while and distractions have hit you do not receive that

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because that is not from the Lord.

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Okay, God knew exactly where you what you were going to go through.

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Some of some of the ladies had literally stepped into heart work

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and lost family members like mom's dad's passed away.

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y'all, we can't prevent that kind of stuff. To me, that's

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not I mean, obviously, I don't believe God caused that to

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happen. And it can be in a sense, its own distraction. But

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that isn't one of the things I'm referring to here. Okay.

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Everybody needs to be able to grieve when something like that

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happens. So please don't receive any judgment or guilt or shame

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from the enemy if you have gone through something and you did

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get distracted. But it was something that was like really

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big and really hard. And you're just doing your best to process

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and move forward. Hey, you're still here, which is amazing. So

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celebrate yourself. Be sure to celebrate your wins as you go.

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All right, your true identity. That's what we're going to lean

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into tonight. And remember that when I'm talking about your true

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identity, what I'm talking about is who God originally created

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you to be like when he was forming you in the womb, and he

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was literally putting all the different things in the gifts

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and the abilities in you and your character and your

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personality, your hair color, and he was designing you, and he

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was crafting you. And he was, he was literally just so excited

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for the day that you were going to be born the day he designed

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it designed and predestined for you to be here. That's the true

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identity that I'm talking about. Not even your own idea of who

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you were called to be. But who did God originally create you to

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be long before trauma, wounds, brokenness, or any of that ever

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entered your life? Who did God originally create you to be? So

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as you're thinking about that true identity, so often what I

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hear is I don't know. I don't know who my true identity is. I

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don't know what that looks like, sounds like feels like. And what

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I want to encourage you about regarding that is the more that

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you heal, the more you're going to have a little bit more of a

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glimpse of who God originally created you to be. I believe

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like we're, we're transformed and we're changed from glory to

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glory to glory. And, and the more like we move closer to the

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Lord and the understanding of what heaven is saying over us

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and has always been speaking over us, the more that we will

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be able to hear the truth of God's heart regarding our

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original creation and design. But here's the question I have

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for you. Who told you that you were naked? That's what the

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Bible says. That's the question the Bible, when God, the father

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met Adam and Eve, and I'm going to read the scripture here in a

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minute. That's the question he had for Adam. But I want you to

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be thinking about, you know, your life and the things that

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you've been through and the things that you think about

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yourself that aren't positive. And, and I want you to ask

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yourself, who told me these things? In a sense, who told

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you you were naked? Who told you you weren't good enough? Who

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told you that you wouldn't find a spirit mate? Who told you that

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you couldn't walk into the fullness of that promise in the

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dream that God has given you? Where did these lies originate

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and come from? You don't, you don't have to continue to be

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under the rubble of the mess of even our own choices at times

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that has been created. We can come out from under the rubble

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and we can start fresh and new. And God has all these amazing

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abilities to literally, as we know, in Isaiah 43, 19, I'm

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doing something new. Can you not perceive it? God is the one that

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created creation. Can he not do something new in you? Nothing is

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too hard for him. Genesis three, eight through 11 says this, then

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the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord as he was

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walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid

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from the Lord among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God

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called to the man, where are you? Adam answered, I heard you

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in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked. So I hid.

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And then God said, who told you that you were naked? Have you

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eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?

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Tonight, God is calling you out of hiding. It's an invitation,

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ladies. It's not a forced thing. God is always inviting

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us. He's inviting us to come out of hiding and to show up fully

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in the world. And for some of us, we like, we're like, I am,

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I'm, you know, a boss, babe, I'm rocking it over here. And I've

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accomplished all these things. But yet deep down inside, so

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many of us actually are hiding parts and aspects of ourselves

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from people. We're afraid to shine some of us, because

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somewhere along the way, somebody told you that it was

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annoying for you to be happy and bubbly. And, or maybe that

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ain't use the word annoying, but maybe they said something else.

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Or maybe they just said to you, Oh, you're, she's just shy.

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She's just shy. Y'all know.

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Yeah, some of you might have a little bit more quiet demeanor.

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Not everybody's meant to be the same personality and makeup.

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But some of you had people speak over you that you were shy,

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but you were shy because brokenness had already entered the scene.

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Okay?

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Maybe you felt like you didn't know how to be like the older sister or the older brother,

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or even maybe it was mom and dad who was always the one taking the attention.

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This is a word for somebody. I'm hearing the Lord saying this.

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Some of you, you felt like other people were always in the limelight,

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and so you really didn't even know if your voice mattered.

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And so you just shied away from using it.

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And God is saying your voice matters.

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He wants you to step further into using your voice more in the days to come.

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Coming out of hiding, I'm going to read a couple different definitions of what that looks like,

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what that sounds like, what that feels like.

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And here's what it says.

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Being authentic, being present, fully engaged in life,

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intentionally choosing to be fully present in the moment,

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recognizing your true self and actively participating in life with purpose and intention,

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not holding anything back.

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I want you to ask yourselves and be really honest.

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Where have you been holding back?

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Where do you sometimes listen to the voice of the enemy when you have a desire or a dream,

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and you're not sometimes maybe even sure it's from the Lord,

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but there's this thing that you feel excited about,

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but then you immediately believe the lie that you cannot do that.

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That's silly. That's your own idea.

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Whatever the voice sounds like that you hear,

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that keeps you from actually pursuing that thing and launching out and trying it.

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I just heard the Lord say some of you wanted to try out for a theater play,

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and you didn't.

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And I want you to know that that regret that you've had,

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God's going to give you a full circle opportunity.

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And you might be like, well, I can't go back to high school.

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Yep, you can't.

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But you know what?

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Even as adults, you can do a play.

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You can be in a play.

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Maybe it's something else.

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Maybe it's something at church.

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I don't know.

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But I feel like God is saying he's going to bring this full circle moment to you,

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whoever that is for.

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When we show up as our authentic selves, we often give others permission to do the same.

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Sometimes, ladies, when we show up as our full authentic selves,

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some other people aren't going to like it.

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And I want you to be prepared for that.

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You don't have to be afraid of it.

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You just need to be aware of it.

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Because here's the reality.

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When we start to leave the comfort zone,

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the old us and the counterfeit identities that we've lived into for a while,

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when we start to leave that stuff behind,

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there's some people that are like, no, don't go.

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And they're trying to hold us back to where we were.

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But you know what?

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I said this this afternoon, and I don't think I've ever said this before,

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but it made me feel so happy when I said it this afternoon.

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But it's the truth.

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Guess what?

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There's people on the other side of the river that are like, come on, come on.

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You've got this.

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You can do it.

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Y'all, it's real.

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And in this community, I believe we're the people on the other side of the bank.

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And we're saying, keep going.

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Keep going.

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Don't give up.

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You've got this.

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God's got you.

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He's working out things on your behalf right now in the spirit realm

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that you can't even think of, ask about, imagine.

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God is a God of surprises and amazing, beautiful adventure and fun and good.

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Yes, there's hard things we face too, ladies.

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The Bible says we're going to face trials and tribulation.

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It says it.

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But that does not come at the hand of God.

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God's just telling us to be prepared for it so that we can overcome it.

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There's people on the other side of the comfort zone,

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of the counterfeit identities,

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of the places where we've been living beneath the actual identity that we

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were called to live in.

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Man, there's victory on the other side.

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There's victory over there.

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And God wants you to experience that more every single day.

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We're all on a journey each day to grow in our understanding of who we are in

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Christ,

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who we are in Christ and in the spirit realm.

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I'm going to keep saying it.

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I will say it so many times so that you guys really take it in.

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Before trauma ever entered.

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Father, who was I?

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Who did you create me to be before trauma ever entered my life?

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Can you continue to show me a glimpse of that?

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person of that little girl and help me to live into that more every day?

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Here's another reflection question for you.

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Is there any part of yourself, and I said this a little bit earlier, but for those of

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you that might not have written it down, is there any part of yourself where you tend

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to hold back with people even when they're safe people?

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Okay, some of us hold back because we know, hey, this person's toxic.

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It's not safe in this environment.

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But some of you, even when you're safe, maybe don't recognize you're safe yet, and maybe

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still hold back and don't allow that part of yourself to be seen.

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I used to say, you know, when I'm the most comfortable, and I'm not saying this isn't

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true, but when I'm the most comfortable, I let the real me come out.

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Yeah, that me that jumps out from behind the door to scare my husband or army crawl.

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Yeah, I do this stuff.

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This is real life in my house, and it gets better the more that I feel safe with him.

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But one of the things the Lord told me is recently that I actually don't have to just

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keep that only for him.

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You know what I mean?

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Only for the safe people.

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On occasion, I can let that part of myself, again, you want to look for safe people, but

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I feel like there's more safe people than maybe what I in the past used to understand

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or see.

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And I think more people do need to see those different aspects of me because I'm a pretty

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like vibrant person.

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I have a lot of aspects of myself.

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I'm serious.

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I like to be funny and silly.

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I might not be funny and silly like someone else is, and I remember one time someone speaking

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over me like, you need to be more fun when you speak.

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You're too serious.

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And I remember like, no, I don't receive that because I needed to be who I was in that moment.

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And I was fun, but I didn't, I just wasn't to the place that every time I speak, I don't

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feel like I have to step into that.

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So ladies, some of you, you need to protect, you need to protect yourself a little bit

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from things people are speaking over you.

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And some of you are like, oh, I am, I am too serious.

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And then you're getting down and hard on yourself instead of like, God, is that true?

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If there's truth in that, help me to help me to know how to come out of that shell a

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little bit more.

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But if that's not truth that I need to receive right now, help me to just discard that and

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move on.

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There's a song called coming out of hiding.

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It's not coming.

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It's just called out of hiding by Stephanie Gretzinger.

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And this is a couple of the lyrics.

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It says, come out of hiding.

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You're safe here with me.

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There's no need to cover what I already see.

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You've got your reasons, but I hold your peace.

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You've been on lockdown, but I hold the key.

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Because I've loved you before you knew it was love and I saw it all still.

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I chose the cross and you were the one I was thinking of when I rose from the grave.

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Now rid of the shackles.

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My victory is yours.

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I tore the veil for you to come close.

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There's no reason to stand at a distance anymore.

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You're not far from home.

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For some of you, God is saying, you know, you've been keeping me at arm's length because

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you actually believe that I'm not good.

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You believe that I'm not kind, but God is kind.

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He is good.

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He is faithful.

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He's not a man that he should lie, but the enemy is always his tactic.

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He's always trying to convince you that God isn't good, that God isn't who he says he

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is, because if he can get us to believe that God isn't who he says he is, then that takes

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us down the path to partner with the lies that we believe as a result of the trauma

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that we've been through.

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What you align with matters.

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What thoughts are you currently aligning with that don't sound like heaven?

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I'm going to read just a couple of the things that Jackie said during the Supernatural Saturday

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just to kind of bring this whole, what are you aligning with here right to the forefront.

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This is one of the things she said, stop saying things like nothing ever works out for me.

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I'm never chosen.

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Life is always hard for me.

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Yo, I'm not saying that might like, I'm not saying that's not true sometimes, but the

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more we partner with life is always hard for me.

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Nothing ever good happens for me.

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Guess what?

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Guess what's going to happen?

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More hard stuff.

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What we partner with and what we agree with actually is what we invite.

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I want you to understand the power of your words.

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Again, not be afraid of these things, but just understand it.

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Understand that it's not about like, it's not saying, oh, not acknowledging that those

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things are happening.

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Yeah.

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Hard things happen to me too, but man, I can't stay there.

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I can feel it.

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I can allow God to heal me.

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But I want to keep moving I want to like God what what faith do you want to give me in this situation?

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How do you want me to talk about this situation?

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How do you want me to like navigate the understanding and the revelation of who you are in the midst of it?

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I know that your word says that you never leave me. You never forsake me. So why do I believe right now that I'm abandoned?

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Just do you hear what I'm saying?

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What are we partnering with?

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God hasn't run out on you

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That's a word for somebody to your spouse ran out on you. They left you and I'm so sorry about that

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Maybe it was your mom or your dad that did that. I don't know but God will not run out on you

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He's gonna come through for you

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But he wants to know that you're willing to fully surrender

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Remember from previous sessions y'all the do not enter signs that we erect sometimes because man

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It's just too hard to allow God to go into certain areas, but he's saying if you will trust me completely

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if

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You will allow the do not enter signs to come down and invite me in allow me to come into your heart fully

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I'm gonna make you completely new

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I'm gonna make you completely brand-new

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Karen I want you to be encouraged

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We have people every single day that I wrote have never been married

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Never had kids that are meeting their spirit mates and they're getting married one of our women in our community just announced

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I mean we've been written for her for years. It's incredible

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She met an amazing man and God is doing something really beautiful and divine and guess what?

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Sometimes we partner with you know, well, I missed out on all those extra years with that person

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I remember feeling that way when I met Brian man. I wish I had met you sooner

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But you know what? I wouldn't have been who I was

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back then

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To who I was when I met him you all we have to understand God's perfect timing. Okay?

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All right. Here's a couple other things

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All right, here's a couple other things you're not behind you're being prepared for love that last

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You're not hard to love you're easy to love by the right person

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Rejection is God's selection

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Raising you up to a new direction

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God has something special for you. Where are you partnering in your mind?

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Where are you parking your car? So to speak, you know, what thoughts are you entertaining and meditating on day and night?

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The Bible says that we should meditate on the word day and night that we should literally

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Like ask for that to be implanted into our hearts

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That we would literally wear it as a tablet around our neck you all

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That to me is like I just think sometimes when I walk and I pray and I'll just put my Bible up on my chest

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Like sometimes I'm just like man

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It just there's so much comfort and feeling the Word of God close to me

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The truth kind of Lord let this permeate my heart my soul my spirit

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how many be less of

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Myself less of my thoughts less of the things that the enemy has tried to convince me that I can't come out of

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God can make us greater each day. You're a supernova. Did you know?

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What does that mean well that means that you're carrying something amazing

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00:28:35.680 --> 00:28:41.200
Incredible that can change the world on the inside of you and I know some of you are like well

435
00:28:41.200 --> 00:28:44.480
I don't even know how to change my own life. How can I change the world?

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I hear this all the time

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And so I want and want to encourage you

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One day at a time one step at a time the more that we heal as I was talking about earlier

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You know as we start to experiencing those shifts and those changes

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We're gonna have people that might try to hold us back

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Well, guess what ladies as we heal and change where there's gonna be these ripple effects that are gonna happen and man

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It's gonna give other people an opportunity to choose to change as well

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It's not up up to us what they choose

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But the reality is is the more that we experience heaven the more that we heal the more

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Redeemed that we become in our minds and our hearts and our souls and our spirits and even in our bodies ladies

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Some of us need some redeemed bodies, don't we?

447
00:29:28.720 --> 00:29:31.560
Yeah, we need God to come in and heal some things

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The more that we experience that the more it speaks to other people around us

449
00:29:40.440 --> 00:29:45.920
Matthew 5 14 through 16 in the message version says this. Here's another way to put it

450
00:29:46.400 --> 00:29:51.480
You're here to be light bringing out the God colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept

451
00:29:51.560 --> 00:29:56.240
We're going public with this as public as a city on a hill if I make you lightbearers

452
00:29:56.400 --> 00:30:00.000
You don't think I'm gonna hide you under a bucket to you. I'm putting

453
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:01.380
Go on a light stand.

454
00:30:01.380 --> 00:30:05.100
Now that I've put you there on a hilltop on a light stand,

455
00:30:05.100 --> 00:30:10.100
shine, keep open house, be generous with your lives.

456
00:30:11.080 --> 00:30:12.660
By opening up to others,

457
00:30:12.660 --> 00:30:15.320
you'll prompt people to open up to God,

458
00:30:15.320 --> 00:30:18.020
this generous father in heaven.

459
00:30:18.020 --> 00:30:20.940
Romans 8, 37 through 39 says this.

460
00:30:20.940 --> 00:30:21.840
Know in all these things,

461
00:30:21.840 --> 00:30:24.460
we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

462
00:30:24.460 --> 00:30:26.540
For I am convinced that neither death nor life,

463
00:30:26.540 --> 00:30:27.900
nor angels nor demons,

464
00:30:28.340 --> 00:30:30.720
things in the present nor the future,

465
00:30:30.720 --> 00:30:33.380
nor any powers, nor height, nor depth,

466
00:30:33.380 --> 00:30:36.460
nor anything else in all of creation

467
00:30:36.460 --> 00:30:40.340
will be able to separate us from the love of God

468
00:30:40.340 --> 00:30:42.660
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

469
00:30:42.660 --> 00:30:46.360
Late as nothing can separate you from the love of the father.

470
00:30:49.660 --> 00:30:54.100
Some of us walk away from the Lord at times, don't we?

471
00:30:54.100 --> 00:30:57.580
And we believe the lie that God doesn't love us anymore.

472
00:30:58.460 --> 00:31:02.540
We're too far gone, we've made too many mistakes.

473
00:31:02.540 --> 00:31:05.380
I see in the chat there, yeah, after two failed marriages,

474
00:31:05.380 --> 00:31:07.780
I'm sure that's hard, but you know what?

475
00:31:07.780 --> 00:31:10.300
God can redeem anything.

476
00:31:12.260 --> 00:31:15.520
God, he's amazing at rewriting people's stories,

477
00:31:16.460 --> 00:31:18.300
but we need to fully surrender.

478
00:31:18.300 --> 00:31:20.980
We need to learn how to do the process differently

479
00:31:20.980 --> 00:31:22.740
this time around.

480
00:31:22.740 --> 00:31:24.580
Allow people in the community,

481
00:31:24.580 --> 00:31:26.240
this community is here to coach you,

482
00:31:26.240 --> 00:31:27.780
to come alongside of you,

483
00:31:28.620 --> 00:31:30.540
and really enable you to learn new tools

484
00:31:30.540 --> 00:31:33.140
and new habits and new patterns

485
00:31:33.140 --> 00:31:35.860
so that you don't make the same mistakes anymore.

486
00:31:37.020 --> 00:31:40.900
Again, it's an invitation, it's up to us to accept it.

487
00:31:40.900 --> 00:31:43.760
If God is for you, who can be against you?

488
00:31:45.880 --> 00:31:47.260
It's time.

489
00:31:47.260 --> 00:31:48.540
Time for what, you say?

490
00:31:48.540 --> 00:31:49.740
Well, it's time for you.

491
00:31:49.740 --> 00:31:52.540
It's your time, Maureen, it's your time, Rosie,

492
00:31:52.540 --> 00:31:55.340
it's your time, Jamie, and Jovita, and Alyssa,

493
00:31:55.340 --> 00:31:58.100
and every woman on here, I could call you all by name.

494
00:31:58.100 --> 00:32:00.220
It's your time to step into the fullness

495
00:32:00.220 --> 00:32:02.700
of everything that God has for you.

496
00:32:02.700 --> 00:32:05.960
Time for the princesses inside of you to awaken.

497
00:32:08.860 --> 00:32:12.380
I was looking the other day at my vision board for the year,

498
00:32:12.380 --> 00:32:14.140
and I had forgot I actually put it on there.

499
00:32:14.140 --> 00:32:15.640
Sorry, I need to drink you all.

500
00:32:17.820 --> 00:32:21.220
But I saw this picture, and it's this little girl,

501
00:32:21.220 --> 00:32:24.100
she's got curly hair, she's got a cute little crown on,

502
00:32:24.100 --> 00:32:26.220
she's got a little princess wand,

503
00:32:26.220 --> 00:32:29.260
and I didn't even remember that God spoke this to me,

504
00:32:29.260 --> 00:32:32.380
but I wrote it on my board when I was making it,

505
00:32:32.380 --> 00:32:37.220
and I heard him say, talk like a princess.

506
00:32:37.220 --> 00:32:40.100
Not walk like one, talk like one.

507
00:32:42.420 --> 00:32:45.840
I want you to think about how would a princess talk?

508
00:32:48.500 --> 00:32:50.800
Do you think a princess would think

509
00:32:50.800 --> 00:32:52.880
that their father, the king,

510
00:32:54.740 --> 00:32:56.180
would withhold from them?

511
00:32:57.660 --> 00:33:00.640
Do you think a princess would talk

512
00:33:00.640 --> 00:33:04.900
and think like they don't have enough means

513
00:33:04.900 --> 00:33:06.580
or things to be met?

514
00:33:06.580 --> 00:33:09.340
No, because they know what royalty feels like,

515
00:33:09.340 --> 00:33:11.060
looks like, sounds like.

516
00:33:11.060 --> 00:33:13.740
And I know that maybe we all weren't born

517
00:33:13.740 --> 00:33:16.740
like physically into a palace,

518
00:33:16.740 --> 00:33:20.660
but I want to encourage you, you serve the king of kings.

519
00:33:20.660 --> 00:33:21.740
He's the Lord of lords.

520
00:33:21.740 --> 00:33:25.340
You serve someone who sits on the throne.

521
00:33:26.980 --> 00:33:30.740
And he's asking you to come up a little higher,

522
00:33:30.740 --> 00:33:32.780
and instead of sitting under the table,

523
00:33:32.780 --> 00:33:35.700
begging for crumbs, settling for things

524
00:33:35.700 --> 00:33:38.300
and people that don't belong to you,

525
00:33:38.300 --> 00:33:39.820
they don't align with God,

526
00:33:39.820 --> 00:33:42.660
his spiritual DNA for your life,

527
00:33:42.660 --> 00:33:44.740
he's saying, come up a little higher,

528
00:33:44.740 --> 00:33:46.140
come up and sit at the table.

529
00:33:46.140 --> 00:33:49.120
I have a seat for you next to me.

530
00:33:50.120 --> 00:33:53.440
Where all the revelations of heaven and abundance

531
00:33:53.440 --> 00:33:55.640
and blessings are gonna flow,

532
00:33:56.480 --> 00:33:59.000
but we have to stop going back under the table.

533
00:33:59.000 --> 00:34:00.700
Because sometimes we come and sit at the table

534
00:34:00.700 --> 00:34:02.560
for a little bit and we're like, oh yeah,

535
00:34:02.560 --> 00:34:05.080
yeah, that's amazing, that's great.

536
00:34:05.080 --> 00:34:08.440
And then something happens, we get triggered,

537
00:34:08.440 --> 00:34:10.159
or we go through something hard,

538
00:34:10.159 --> 00:34:12.580
and where do we go, ladies?

539
00:34:12.580 --> 00:34:15.960
We tend to go back to our comfort zones, don't we?

540
00:34:15.960 --> 00:34:18.639
And so many of us, for a long time,

541
00:34:18.639 --> 00:34:21.219
we've existed, if you will, under the table.

542
00:34:22.520 --> 00:34:25.440
You know, the people that put their food down

543
00:34:25.440 --> 00:34:27.520
for the dogs under the table,

544
00:34:27.520 --> 00:34:29.600
yeah, that's not your position.

545
00:34:33.199 --> 00:34:35.980
You were never meant to be down under that table.

546
00:34:37.080 --> 00:34:39.320
And so God is saying, it's time to come up

547
00:34:39.320 --> 00:34:40.659
and sit next to me.

548
00:34:42.320 --> 00:34:44.239
All right, we're gonna keep going.

549
00:34:44.239 --> 00:34:45.679
Ephesians 5, 14 says this,

550
00:34:45.679 --> 00:34:48.840
awake, awake, O sleeper, and rise up from the dead,

551
00:34:48.840 --> 00:34:51.480
and Christ will shine on you.

552
00:34:52.520 --> 00:34:53.920
What are we awakening to,

553
00:34:53.920 --> 00:34:55.760
and who are we being awakened by?

554
00:34:55.760 --> 00:34:59.700
Well, God's true love kiss from heaven can awaken us.

555
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:05.440
The more we grow in the understanding of God's love for us, His absolute love of us and for us,

556
00:35:06.160 --> 00:35:10.800
we are going to continue to awaken to the things that He says about us.

557
00:35:12.720 --> 00:35:16.720
We're going to awaken to our true God-given identity. We're going to awaken to restoration.

558
00:35:16.720 --> 00:35:22.080
We're going to awaken to big, bold future dreams awakening within us. Some of you are going to have

559
00:35:22.080 --> 00:35:27.360
dreams from when you were children awakening within you. God's going to stir things back up

560
00:35:27.360 --> 00:35:32.320
in you, things that you maybe put down a long time ago for different reasons. You're going

561
00:35:32.320 --> 00:35:36.640
to feel led to pick that stuff back up and start moving on that. And some of you are going to get

562
00:35:36.640 --> 00:35:40.720
brand new dreams, things you've never even thought of doing. You never dreamed of going and doing

563
00:35:40.720 --> 00:35:45.440
this stuff, but God's going to encourage you to step out and start doing some of those things.

564
00:35:46.560 --> 00:35:53.120
I love the example of to live into and awaken to our God-given identity, our true identity.

565
00:35:53.120 --> 00:35:55.680
I don't know if y'all have ever seen the movie Wreck-It Ralph.

566
00:35:57.680 --> 00:36:04.160
Laura, the Ephesians passage is Ephesians 5.14. The Wreck-It Ralph movie, there's a little girl

567
00:36:04.160 --> 00:36:09.760
in the movie. Her name is Vanellope. And in the movie, a big majority of the movie, she's glitching.

568
00:36:09.760 --> 00:36:18.560
She's all glitchy glitchy, okay? And Wreck-It Ralph is kind of sent in there to kind of harm her

569
00:36:19.120 --> 00:36:24.320
and keep her from winning the race. She's in this race. She's got this little race car.

570
00:36:24.880 --> 00:36:28.000
And I don't want to give the whole movie away to you all, but it's definitely

571
00:36:29.280 --> 00:36:33.120
an incredible movie. It's got an incredible theme. I'm going to show you some video clips tonight.

572
00:36:33.120 --> 00:36:38.240
I don't normally do this, but today as I was preparing, I just felt led to look up a couple

573
00:36:38.240 --> 00:36:44.800
of these clips to make it more visual for you all tonight. And here's why. Vanellope,

574
00:36:44.960 --> 00:36:51.440
as the movie goes on, what we find out is this guy, this bad guy, if you will,

575
00:36:51.440 --> 00:36:55.520
and we're going to kind of reference this in the way that Satan works in our lives.

576
00:36:56.480 --> 00:37:01.680
This bad guy came and he took a chip out of her and that's what caused her to glitch, you all.

577
00:37:02.480 --> 00:37:07.280
The enemy comes and he takes things from us. He comes to kill, steal, and destroy,

578
00:37:07.280 --> 00:37:11.600
right? We know the word says that, but Jesus came to give us life and give it to us more abundantly.

579
00:37:12.160 --> 00:37:19.760
And he was trying to trap her in this game so that she would die. But God had another plan for her.

580
00:37:19.760 --> 00:37:24.080
I know it's a movie, but I love it. I believe God has a new destiny for all of us.

581
00:37:24.080 --> 00:37:28.400
And as the story unfolds, I'm going to let you see the clip of what happens. Okay.

582
00:37:28.400 --> 00:37:31.760
I'm going to share my screen and I hope this blesses you tonight.

583
00:37:34.320 --> 00:37:37.360
Hopefully we don't have technical difficulty. This morning I had a little bit.

584
00:37:42.000 --> 00:37:45.360
All right. I'm going to show you three small clips. So bear with me.

585
00:37:46.720 --> 00:37:53.520
She'll be added to the race roster. Then gamers can choose her and the avatar.

586
00:37:54.800 --> 00:37:59.520
And when they see her glitching and twitching and just being herself,

587
00:37:59.520 --> 00:38:04.240
they'll think our game is broken. We'll be put out of order for good.

588
00:38:04.240 --> 00:38:07.920
All my subjects will be homeless.

589
00:38:10.320 --> 00:38:14.400
But there's one who cannot escape because she's a glitch.

590
00:38:17.280 --> 00:38:19.360
When the game's plug is pulled,

591
00:38:22.640 --> 00:38:23.840
she'll die with it.

592
00:38:23.840 --> 00:38:31.520
Can you do like full screen?

593
00:38:32.560 --> 00:38:36.800
Uh, I can't just cause it will be hard for me to pull these through. So just bear with me.

594
00:38:37.840 --> 00:38:41.120
The rules are there for a reason, Vanellope. To protect us.

595
00:38:41.680 --> 00:38:48.080
Say I'm you. I'm in my weird little car and I'm driving and I actually feel kind of cool for once.

596
00:38:48.080 --> 00:38:52.240
And then all of a sudden, oh no, I'm glitching.

597
00:38:53.200 --> 00:38:55.920
See, you're an accident just waiting to happen.

598
00:38:55.920 --> 00:38:58.320
Oh no, I glitched too.

599
00:39:00.080 --> 00:39:00.800
I'm cool.

600
00:39:09.040 --> 00:39:13.920
You will never be a racer because you're a glitch and that's all you'll ever be.

601
00:39:22.240 --> 00:39:27.920
Whoa, what's with all the magic sparkles?

602
00:39:52.240 --> 00:39:59.920
Now I remember.

603
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:07.500
All hail the rightful ruler of Sugar Rush, Princess Vanellope.

604
00:40:07.500 --> 00:40:11.500
I remember, she's our princess.

605
00:40:11.500 --> 00:40:19.500
Okay, so tonight the reason I showed these to you is God wants you to remember who you already are.

606
00:40:19.500 --> 00:40:29.500
Who are you already on the inside that needs to come out and you know some of those people that they were kind of bullying her,

607
00:40:29.500 --> 00:40:36.000
they didn't remember her actual original design either because their memories had been taken away.

608
00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:41.000
Some of the people in your life that are saying things, they're hurt people hurting people.

609
00:40:41.000 --> 00:40:44.500
And they were calling her an accident and that's all you'll ever be.

610
00:40:44.500 --> 00:40:49.000
And some of you have had people say stuff like that over you.

611
00:40:49.000 --> 00:40:54.000
But God is saying tonight that you're a princess, you've always been a princess.

612
00:40:54.000 --> 00:41:00.000
And as she became that princess, if you all noticed, man, the whole land started to light up.

613
00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:02.500
And that's exactly what I've been talking about tonight.

614
00:41:02.500 --> 00:41:07.000
You are the light of the world.

615
00:41:07.000 --> 00:41:13.000
Every single one of you has the ability to be a light to those around you.

616
00:41:13.000 --> 00:41:18.500
The more that you shine, the more that you heal, the more that God works in your life and works through you,

617
00:41:18.500 --> 00:41:23.500
the more it's going to impact those around you.

618
00:41:23.500 --> 00:41:27.000
We all have to choose what we're going to believe.

619
00:41:27.000 --> 00:41:33.500
So tonight can be a literal chant, like a line in the sand for you all, if you choose to allow it to be.

620
00:41:33.500 --> 00:41:35.000
What do I mean by that?

621
00:41:35.000 --> 00:41:40.500
As you can choose to start to believe in a line with these truths that I'm talking to you about

622
00:41:40.500 --> 00:41:46.500
and leave all the other stuff behind, all the negative thoughts, all the self-deprecating thoughts,

623
00:41:46.500 --> 00:41:50.500
all the things that are like self-hatred, self-loathing, self-pity.

624
00:41:51.500 --> 00:41:54.500
That is not God's plan for you.

625
00:41:54.500 --> 00:41:56.500
Again, I understand why we feel these things.

626
00:41:56.500 --> 00:41:58.500
I've been there, too.

627
00:41:58.500 --> 00:42:05.500
But God is saying, come out, come out from wherever you are.

628
00:42:05.500 --> 00:42:09.500
You don't have to play hide-and-seek anymore.

629
00:42:09.500 --> 00:42:12.500
It's safe here, and you can come out, and you can thrive,

630
00:42:12.500 --> 00:42:19.500
and you can live that good, good life that we're talking to you about in this community.

631
00:42:19.500 --> 00:42:22.500
Tonight's breakout question is this.

632
00:42:22.500 --> 00:42:26.500
In what ways does the enemy challenge the real you?

633
00:42:26.500 --> 00:42:28.500
It's kind of a three-part question, okay?

634
00:42:28.500 --> 00:42:30.500
So that's the first part.

635
00:42:30.500 --> 00:42:38.500
Does he use comparison, competition, or imitation, or maybe even all of them, to challenge that real you?

636
00:42:38.500 --> 00:42:41.500
Does he try to always invite you into those?

637
00:42:41.500 --> 00:42:43.500
And how do these tend to show up in your life?

638
00:42:43.500 --> 00:42:47.500
Like if you struggle with comparison, how does comparison tend to show up in your life?

639
00:42:47.500 --> 00:42:50.500
Does everyone understand the questions?

640
00:42:50.500 --> 00:42:54.500
I'm going to read them again for you, okay?

641
00:42:54.500 --> 00:42:57.500
In what ways does the enemy challenge the real you?

642
00:42:57.500 --> 00:43:03.500
Does he often use comparison, competition, or imitation, all of them, some of them?

643
00:43:03.500 --> 00:43:06.500
How do these tend to show up in your life?

644
00:43:06.500 --> 00:43:07.500
Okay.

645
00:43:07.500 --> 00:43:13.500
Let me set these up for you.

646
00:43:13.500 --> 00:43:19.500
For those of my coaches that are in peer coach training, or part of the heart work mentor training,

647
00:43:19.500 --> 00:43:25.500
go ahead and stay in the main room with me, and all the other ladies, you'll go, that are here,

648
00:43:25.500 --> 00:43:29.500
that are members and students, you're going to go into those breakout rooms.

649
00:43:29.500 --> 00:43:31.500
I'm going to give you six minutes, ladies.

650
00:43:31.500 --> 00:43:35.500
So I have some.

651
00:43:35.500 --> 00:43:36.500
Let me do this.

652
00:43:36.500 --> 00:43:38.500
I have too many in some of these rooms.

653
00:43:38.500 --> 00:43:41.500
This will be hard for you all to share.

654
00:43:41.500 --> 00:43:43.500
Okay.

655
00:43:43.500 --> 00:43:46.500
I'm going to give you six minutes, so short, brief, and powerful.

656
00:43:46.500 --> 00:43:49.500
And for those of you that are new, it's going to pop up on your screen or on your phone,

657
00:43:49.500 --> 00:43:51.500
and it's going to have the digital room.

658
00:43:51.500 --> 00:43:53.500
Click it as soon as you can to join that room.

659
00:43:53.500 --> 00:43:57.500
Okay, there you go.

660
00:43:57.500 --> 00:43:58.500
We're praying for you.

661
00:43:58.500 --> 00:44:01.500
As soon as I get everyone situated, I'll start praying.

662
00:44:01.500 --> 00:44:19.500
If you are here in the main room.

663
00:44:19.500 --> 00:44:23.500
Just have to make sure nobody's by themselves here.

664
00:44:24.500 --> 00:44:25.500
I need to move a couple people around.

665
00:44:25.500 --> 00:44:33.500
We have too many people in rooms tonight.

666
00:44:33.500 --> 00:44:35.500
All right, Father, we just thank you so much for this night.

667
00:44:35.500 --> 00:44:39.500
We thank you, God, for everything that you're doing.

668
00:44:39.500 --> 00:44:44.500
We thank you that you help us to come out of alignment and agreement with counterfeit identities

669
00:44:44.500 --> 00:44:48.500
and these realities that don't look like and sound like you.

670
00:44:48.500 --> 00:44:51.500
God, we thank you for invitations into your truth.

671
00:44:51.500 --> 00:44:53.500
Leslie, I just sent an invitation your way.

672
00:44:53.500 --> 00:44:58.500
God, we thank you for giving us upgrades in our revelation and understanding.

673
00:44:58.500 --> 00:44:59.500
God, we thank you that.

674
00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:09.240
You would help us to hear what your spirit is saying and to trust that you are good and that you're working on our behalf,

675
00:45:09.240 --> 00:45:18.760
that you are continuing to weave truth and life and hope in every moment, into every fiber of our being.

676
00:45:18.760 --> 00:45:21.800
God, I thank you for cells being regenerated, God.

677
00:45:21.800 --> 00:45:29.160
Even where some of us have had, yeah, Lord, just a hard time coming out of trauma and partnering with truth

678
00:45:29.160 --> 00:45:34.720
because it literally, like, we have to change the way our whole brain thinks.

679
00:45:34.720 --> 00:45:42.960
God, we thank you for revitalization projects that you don't get tired of them, God, that you're never worn out by us.

680
00:45:42.960 --> 00:45:49.400
God, that you love to hear from us, that we are your daughters, that we're your beloved and whom you're well-pleased.

681
00:45:49.400 --> 00:45:51.840
And you want to hear the things that are on our hearts.

682
00:45:51.840 --> 00:45:58.040
God, I thank you that even last week you reminded me of another thing on my board that says, like,

683
00:45:58.040 --> 00:46:04.280
the, you know, the prayers that aren't prayed, aren't asked, can't be answered.

684
00:46:04.280 --> 00:46:08.240
And for some, they feel like they're pleading and they're begging you, God,

685
00:46:08.240 --> 00:46:15.320
but God, help us to shift out of a heart posture of begging and pleading into rest

686
00:46:15.320 --> 00:46:21.160
and understanding, God, that you are leading us further into the fullness of your plans and promises for us.

687
00:46:21.160 --> 00:46:24.960
God, that we are being healed and changed and transformed.

688
00:46:24.960 --> 00:46:32.800
God, we thank you that you would help us to, yeah, Lord, just remember that you make beauty out of ashes.

689
00:46:32.800 --> 00:46:37.000
Where there's ever been a broken and fallen place, Lord, that you lift those places up,

690
00:46:37.000 --> 00:46:41.800
that you make those level places plain and straight.

691
00:46:41.800 --> 00:46:45.360
God, that you would lead us into the highways and byways of your truth, God,

692
00:46:45.360 --> 00:46:49.640
that we would have fresh revelation and insight.

693
00:46:49.800 --> 00:46:54.320
When we encounter your word, God, that every day it would be fresh manna from heaven.

694
00:46:54.320 --> 00:46:58.440
God, that you would illuminate scripture off the page for us and to us, God,

695
00:46:58.440 --> 00:47:04.160
and we would hunger and thirst for your righteousness, for your word, for more of your love, Lord,

696
00:47:04.160 --> 00:47:12.160
that we would always desire to have a fresh revelation of who you are, God, as the lover of our souls.

697
00:47:12.160 --> 00:47:18.440
And God, even as Revelation talks about, that we would return to our first love.

698
00:47:18.440 --> 00:47:21.040
God, that nothing would take place of you.

699
00:47:21.040 --> 00:47:25.400
God, that you would be the author and the finisher of our faith.

700
00:47:25.400 --> 00:47:26.640
God, we thank you.

701
00:47:26.640 --> 00:47:27.600
Hi there.

702
00:47:27.600 --> 00:47:28.200
Welcome.

703
00:47:28.200 --> 00:47:29.480
They're in the breakout session.

704
00:47:29.480 --> 00:47:32.680
I can put you into a room with some of the ladies.

705
00:47:32.680 --> 00:47:34.800
Let me see if I have it.

706
00:47:34.800 --> 00:47:40.000
I got booted out with Karen and Pamela.

707
00:47:40.000 --> 00:47:40.480
Oh, I see.

708
00:47:40.480 --> 00:47:41.080
I was in that room.

709
00:47:41.080 --> 00:47:41.640
Room 10.

710
00:47:41.640 --> 00:47:42.040
Okay.

711
00:47:42.040 --> 00:47:45.680
Thank you.

712
00:47:45.680 --> 00:47:45.960
All right.

713
00:47:45.960 --> 00:47:47.160
There you go, sweetie.

714
00:47:47.160 --> 00:47:48.080
Thank you.

715
00:47:48.080 --> 00:47:49.120
You're welcome.

716
00:47:49.120 --> 00:47:53.160
So, Father, I thank you that I don't remember what I was praying, so I'm just going to go with something different.

717
00:47:53.160 --> 00:48:02.160
So, Father, we just thank you for, yeah, Lord, helping us to understand, too, what the fruits of the Spirit are and how to walk in them.

718
00:48:02.160 --> 00:48:10.280
God, we thank you that we can walk in love and joy, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control,

719
00:48:10.280 --> 00:48:26.680
perseverance, that you, God, are enabling us to be filled afresh with the power of your Holy Spirit, and we can partner with the things of the Spirit and turn away from the things of the flesh every day.

720
00:48:26.680 --> 00:48:27.680
Yeah.

721
00:48:27.680 --> 00:48:37.880
The wages of sin are death, and I thank you, God, that you would help us to turn away from sin, that you would help us to turn away from limiting mindsets and belief systems, orphan mentalities,

722
00:48:37.880 --> 00:48:40.920
things, again, that don't look like or sound like you.

723
00:48:40.920 --> 00:48:48.400
God, I thank you that you're inviting us into the divine love story of heaven.

724
00:48:48.400 --> 00:49:02.720
We thank you that you would bring your kingdom here on earth and our lives as you desire it in heaven, that you would give us this day our daily bread, that you would forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us.

725
00:49:02.720 --> 00:49:12.760
Lord, I thank you that your word declares, too, that you will lead us out of temptation and deliver us from the evil one, that your kingdom would come and your will would be done.

726
00:49:12.760 --> 00:49:21.480
Lord, we thank you that you would, yes, Lord, continue to prepare a table for us in the presence of our enemies, and this isn't just people.

727
00:49:21.480 --> 00:49:28.560
These are the opposing forces, the forces that oppose us, resist us, resist the promises of God in our lives.

728
00:49:28.560 --> 00:49:37.520
We thank you for the reminder tonight that the Prince of Persia tried to hold up the answer, even in the Bible, and God, you brought the solution.

729
00:49:37.520 --> 00:49:42.240
You already sent the answer, and you brought the solution in that situation.

730
00:49:42.240 --> 00:49:52.800
And even though Jacob had to wrestle with the angel of the Lord in that situation and in the waiting process, God, you brought that answer.

731
00:49:52.800 --> 00:49:59.760
And we just thank you for answers and solutions in areas where we've been just really feeling discouraged, God.

732
00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:00.840
Thank you.

733
00:50:00.840 --> 00:50:04.160
Where we felt fear in the last recent season, God,

734
00:50:04.160 --> 00:50:06.860
we thank you for faith being imparted unto us,

735
00:50:06.860 --> 00:50:09.020
that the gift of faith would come,

736
00:50:09.020 --> 00:50:11.420
that you would enable us to grow in the gift of faith.

737
00:50:11.420 --> 00:50:13.680
And I love the reminder right now, Lord,

738
00:50:13.680 --> 00:50:16.160
that as I even asked for that for us,

739
00:50:16.160 --> 00:50:18.860
that that comes through learning and experience.

740
00:50:18.860 --> 00:50:21.100
And sometimes it comes through trials,

741
00:50:21.100 --> 00:50:24.260
that we grow our faith as we walk through,

742
00:50:24.260 --> 00:50:28.260
as we walk by faith, ladies, and not by sight.

743
00:50:28.260 --> 00:50:32.180
And Lord, I thank you that it's not by might nor by power,

744
00:50:32.180 --> 00:50:34.780
but it's by your spirit, Lord.

745
00:50:34.780 --> 00:50:37.060
So we just ask for your spirit to come

746
00:50:37.060 --> 00:50:40.180
and move and weave in our lives.

747
00:50:40.180 --> 00:50:42.620
And yeah, Holy Spirit,

748
00:50:42.620 --> 00:50:45.180
that you would just kind of clean up the clutter

749
00:50:45.180 --> 00:50:47.020
and the things that are blocking us

750
00:50:47.020 --> 00:50:49.260
from receiving the fullness of God's truth

751
00:50:49.260 --> 00:50:50.780
and promises for us.

752
00:50:51.980 --> 00:50:53.960
I don't know if y'all have ever been in water

753
00:50:53.960 --> 00:50:55.900
where you can't really see what's down underneath

754
00:50:56.820 --> 00:50:58.100
and there's muck and mire

755
00:50:58.100 --> 00:50:59.900
and it's yucky kind of on the bottom

756
00:50:59.900 --> 00:51:02.820
and you're kind of walking, but it feels sludgy,

757
00:51:02.820 --> 00:51:04.060
feels sludgy.

758
00:51:04.060 --> 00:51:06.060
And I just, I had that kind of thought

759
00:51:06.060 --> 00:51:07.100
as I was praying about God,

760
00:51:07.100 --> 00:51:09.260
removing the obstacles that are keeping us

761
00:51:09.260 --> 00:51:12.700
from receiving the promises that some of us were walking

762
00:51:12.700 --> 00:51:14.320
and it just feels like sludge.

763
00:51:14.320 --> 00:51:16.420
It feels so hard,

764
00:51:16.420 --> 00:51:17.260
but God's saying,

765
00:51:17.260 --> 00:51:20.420
he's going to make it a lot easier for you

766
00:51:20.420 --> 00:51:21.300
in the days to come,

767
00:51:21.300 --> 00:51:24.740
that he's gonna remove all the muck and mire off of you.

768
00:51:24.780 --> 00:51:26.940
And he's gonna set your feet on the rock.

769
00:51:26.940 --> 00:51:29.240
The rock is him, you all, if you didn't know.

770
00:51:29.240 --> 00:51:31.060
All right, welcome back.

771
00:51:31.060 --> 00:51:32.140
So glad to see all of you.

772
00:51:32.140 --> 00:51:34.200
I know that was so quick tonight.

773
00:51:34.200 --> 00:51:36.300
I hope you had some good conversations.

774
00:51:36.300 --> 00:51:38.860
You'll get to have more conversations next week.

775
00:51:38.860 --> 00:51:40.300
I wanna show you very quickly

776
00:51:40.300 --> 00:51:42.340
what the activation for this week is,

777
00:51:42.340 --> 00:51:45.540
and then I'm gonna open up for group coaching, okay?

778
00:51:45.540 --> 00:51:49.540
All right, this one.

779
00:51:49.540 --> 00:51:51.820
Ooh, I forgot to, there we go.

780
00:51:51.820 --> 00:51:53.540
All right, so the activation is this.

781
00:51:53.540 --> 00:51:55.620
It's a silhouette activation.

782
00:51:55.620 --> 00:51:56.980
Y'all, it doesn't have to look like this.

783
00:51:56.980 --> 00:51:59.100
I'm gonna show you several different examples,

784
00:51:59.100 --> 00:52:00.860
but here's what I want you to do.

785
00:52:00.860 --> 00:52:03.300
I want you just to draw an outline of yourself.

786
00:52:03.300 --> 00:52:06.140
It doesn't have to be super fancy or creative or artistic.

787
00:52:06.140 --> 00:52:07.880
It can be if you want.

788
00:52:07.880 --> 00:52:12.220
The goal is to do what I'm about to tell you next.

789
00:52:12.220 --> 00:52:13.820
So the silhouettes, the beginning,

790
00:52:13.820 --> 00:52:15.580
you just draw that outline of yourself.

791
00:52:15.580 --> 00:52:18.100
Then I want you to ask God,

792
00:52:18.100 --> 00:52:20.500
who do you say that I am?

793
00:52:21.500 --> 00:52:24.220
God, who do you say that I am?

794
00:52:24.220 --> 00:52:28.340
God, what do you wanna tell me about how you see me?

795
00:52:28.340 --> 00:52:30.720
And they might be words, they might be phrases,

796
00:52:30.720 --> 00:52:31.860
they might be songs,

797
00:52:31.860 --> 00:52:35.560
they might be like other things of declarations.

798
00:52:35.560 --> 00:52:36.820
If there's anything negative,

799
00:52:36.820 --> 00:52:39.060
it doesn't go on this silhouette, ladies.

800
00:52:39.060 --> 00:52:43.140
Only positive things are gonna go on this silhouette, okay?

801
00:52:43.140 --> 00:52:44.460
If you hear anything negative,

802
00:52:44.460 --> 00:52:47.440
those are gonna go on a separate piece of paper,

803
00:52:47.440 --> 00:52:48.980
and then you're gonna cross it out

804
00:52:48.980 --> 00:52:51.900
because God doesn't speak negative things over you.

805
00:52:51.900 --> 00:52:53.020
That's from the enemy.

806
00:52:53.020 --> 00:52:55.180
That's a lie that you're believing potentially

807
00:52:55.180 --> 00:52:56.900
from the counterfeit identity,

808
00:52:56.900 --> 00:52:58.540
from the trauma that you've been through.

809
00:52:58.540 --> 00:53:00.620
So after you cross it out, you're gonna ask God,

810
00:53:00.620 --> 00:53:04.340
God, I trust that what Bethany said is true,

811
00:53:04.340 --> 00:53:05.980
that this is not truth over me.

812
00:53:05.980 --> 00:53:08.560
So Lord, help me to know what the truth is

813
00:53:08.560 --> 00:53:10.260
to replace this lie.

814
00:53:10.260 --> 00:53:12.940
And you might, some of you have to do that a couple times

815
00:53:12.940 --> 00:53:15.900
because you might tend to hear a lot of negative stuff.

816
00:53:15.900 --> 00:53:17.560
And so once you get to the positive,

817
00:53:17.560 --> 00:53:20.000
well, then that positive can go onto this silhouette.

818
00:53:20.000 --> 00:53:22.000
Here's the first example.

819
00:53:22.000 --> 00:53:24.400
This young lady really struggled

820
00:53:24.400 --> 00:53:26.760
with seeing herself on camera, y'all.

821
00:53:26.760 --> 00:53:28.280
And when she did this exercise,

822
00:53:28.280 --> 00:53:30.140
not only did she have all these beautiful words

823
00:53:30.140 --> 00:53:31.620
that God spoke over her,

824
00:53:31.620 --> 00:53:34.320
but she felt led to put flowers over her eyes

825
00:53:34.320 --> 00:53:36.240
to represent that she would see life,

826
00:53:36.240 --> 00:53:39.560
that she would begin to love the view of herself

827
00:53:39.560 --> 00:53:41.720
when she would see herself.

828
00:53:41.720 --> 00:53:44.720
This one here, again, just different people's depictions.

829
00:53:44.720 --> 00:53:46.420
There's flourishing, there's life,

830
00:53:46.900 --> 00:53:49.140
some of that has also to do with her heritage

831
00:53:49.140 --> 00:53:52.660
and her background and really like God blessing

832
00:53:52.660 --> 00:53:54.480
who he created her to be.

833
00:53:54.480 --> 00:53:57.260
And then she wrote some on her body as well.

834
00:53:57.260 --> 00:53:59.220
Here's one where she's got a princess crown.

835
00:53:59.220 --> 00:54:01.700
I really love to do the activations where you all,

836
00:54:01.700 --> 00:54:04.660
you know, go out and get a tiara, get a crown,

837
00:54:04.660 --> 00:54:08.740
walk in that, you know, really see yourself as a princess.

838
00:54:08.740 --> 00:54:10.220
And so this woman did that

839
00:54:10.220 --> 00:54:12.740
and she also put it on her silhouette.

840
00:54:12.740 --> 00:54:14.300
She also, I love that she did red lips.

841
00:54:14.300 --> 00:54:16.100
She's one of the only people that's ever done that.

842
00:54:16.780 --> 00:54:17.940
And I just think it's really, really awesome.

843
00:54:17.940 --> 00:54:20.460
Everybody's interpretation is very different.

844
00:54:20.460 --> 00:54:22.740
This one, she titled it, The Real Me,

845
00:54:22.740 --> 00:54:25.300
and wrote down all the words that God was speaking over her

846
00:54:25.300 --> 00:54:26.340
and that was her silhouette.

847
00:54:26.340 --> 00:54:29.500
You can kind of see everybody has a different perception.

848
00:54:29.500 --> 00:54:31.220
This again, perfect.

849
00:54:31.220 --> 00:54:32.900
It's okay if you don't have eyes on yours.

850
00:54:32.900 --> 00:54:34.260
It's okay if you don't have lips.

851
00:54:34.260 --> 00:54:35.940
This is beautiful.

852
00:54:35.940 --> 00:54:40.520
This lady felt led to highlight the words free and seen.

853
00:54:40.520 --> 00:54:42.740
Even though God was speaking all of these words to her,

854
00:54:42.740 --> 00:54:45.660
she said God was really nudging her to focus

855
00:54:46.180 --> 00:54:48.700
on those two words in this season.

856
00:54:48.700 --> 00:54:50.220
Okay.

857
00:54:50.220 --> 00:54:51.060
Here's another one.

858
00:54:51.060 --> 00:54:53.700
I'm gonna start to go through these a little quicker.

859
00:54:53.700 --> 00:54:54.700
And I love, look at this.

860
00:54:54.700 --> 00:54:56.640
She put her freckles on there, y'all.

861
00:54:56.640 --> 00:54:57.480
Isn't this awesome?

862
00:54:57.480 --> 00:55:00.100
I think this is such a beautiful way to.

863
00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:01.400
to own who you are.

864
00:55:01.400 --> 00:55:04.040
This is the last one, again, another one with the crown.

865
00:55:04.040 --> 00:55:05.040
I love it.

866
00:55:05.040 --> 00:55:08.760
She did a different word for every kind of tip on the crown

867
00:55:08.760 --> 00:55:10.040
as you see there.

868
00:55:10.040 --> 00:55:12.160
Y'all, I want you to really understand

869
00:55:12.160 --> 00:55:14.340
that this process, doing this,

870
00:55:15.440 --> 00:55:17.680
I know some of you get scared, okay?

871
00:55:17.680 --> 00:55:19.480
And some of you shy away from doing this,

872
00:55:19.480 --> 00:55:21.680
but I promise if you will lean into this

873
00:55:21.680 --> 00:55:23.920
and do this with the Lord,

874
00:55:23.920 --> 00:55:26.560
it could change some of your lives.

875
00:55:26.560 --> 00:55:28.000
And I wanna encourage you to put them up

876
00:55:28.000 --> 00:55:30.680
where you can see them often and partner with the things

877
00:55:30.680 --> 00:55:35.080
that God has spoken over you in truth in life, okay?

878
00:55:35.080 --> 00:55:37.600
All right, who is willing to share with the whole group

879
00:55:37.600 --> 00:55:39.960
what you shared in your private breakout group?

880
00:55:42.640 --> 00:55:44.480
Awesome, Maureen, go ahead.

881
00:55:48.520 --> 00:55:50.360
So the question was, in what ways

882
00:55:50.360 --> 00:55:53.200
does this enemy challenge the real me

883
00:55:53.200 --> 00:55:55.520
and what does he often use?

884
00:55:55.560 --> 00:56:00.560
So I shared that one of my greatest struggles,

885
00:56:00.600 --> 00:56:03.480
and not so much now, I've done so much work,

886
00:56:03.480 --> 00:56:08.480
but in the past, the enemy used to challenge me

887
00:56:09.080 --> 00:56:14.080
by making me question like my worth to God.

888
00:56:14.560 --> 00:56:17.080
And he used comparison a lot

889
00:56:17.080 --> 00:56:20.920
to really get a hold of my heart and say like,

890
00:56:20.920 --> 00:56:25.080
does God, it was the same old thing that he used with Eve,

891
00:56:25.120 --> 00:56:27.120
does God really love you?

892
00:56:27.120 --> 00:56:29.960
He kind of used the same, like, did God really say?

893
00:56:31.400 --> 00:56:33.360
Like, does God really love you

894
00:56:33.360 --> 00:56:37.120
if he's given all these things to other people and not you?

895
00:56:37.120 --> 00:56:38.640
Everybody else, but not you,

896
00:56:38.640 --> 00:56:41.280
it was kind of like the recurring theme in my mind.

897
00:56:42.280 --> 00:56:46.720
So much so that I would have to feel like

898
00:56:46.720 --> 00:56:51.720
I'd have to kind of like settle

899
00:56:51.880 --> 00:56:53.760
for what I could expect from God.

900
00:56:53.760 --> 00:56:56.960
So he made me question who I was to God

901
00:56:56.960 --> 00:57:00.760
and he also made me question who God was to me.

902
00:57:00.760 --> 00:57:05.760
And so it really misplaced me and God.

903
00:57:06.040 --> 00:57:08.680
And it was almost like, okay, well,

904
00:57:08.680 --> 00:57:10.960
I guess I'm just gonna have to settle

905
00:57:10.960 --> 00:57:15.240
for whatever he gives me because I wasn't his daughter,

906
00:57:15.240 --> 00:57:18.520
I was like this peasant that just had to take

907
00:57:18.520 --> 00:57:20.760
whatever scraps God would give me almost, right?

908
00:57:20.760 --> 00:57:24.400
And even saying that out loud, that is such a lie

909
00:57:25.240 --> 00:57:28.200
because God is not, he is not stingy.

910
00:57:28.200 --> 00:57:32.120
And yes, I had to wrestle with letting go of like,

911
00:57:33.480 --> 00:57:35.440
I didn't have a plan B for what I thought

912
00:57:35.440 --> 00:57:38.320
would be a good future and yet God is good

913
00:57:38.320 --> 00:57:39.720
and he only gives good things.

914
00:57:39.720 --> 00:57:42.600
And because my mind didn't have a plan B

915
00:57:42.600 --> 00:57:46.240
and was so holding tightly to what I thought

916
00:57:46.240 --> 00:57:48.120
life would turn out to look like,

917
00:57:48.120 --> 00:57:51.360
he's taught me to kind of hold that loosely

918
00:57:51.360 --> 00:57:55.280
and lean into who he is and trust that like,

919
00:57:55.280 --> 00:57:56.440
whatever the outcome is,

920
00:57:56.440 --> 00:57:58.840
it's like, he's not gonna make me settle.

921
00:57:58.840 --> 00:58:00.320
It's going to be good.

922
00:58:00.320 --> 00:58:03.440
Not because I deserve it, not because I worked for it,

923
00:58:03.440 --> 00:58:05.680
but because God himself is good.

924
00:58:05.680 --> 00:58:08.720
So he's not, there won't be disappointment.

925
00:58:08.720 --> 00:58:11.240
I don't think I've ever been more hope-filled

926
00:58:12.240 --> 00:58:16.080
in my singleness than I am today.

927
00:58:16.080 --> 00:58:18.880
And I'm like much older than I was

928
00:58:18.880 --> 00:58:20.120
when I went through this process.

929
00:58:20.120 --> 00:58:22.000
So I could sit here and be like, gosh, you know what?

930
00:58:22.000 --> 00:58:26.000
I lost all my prime years and there's just no way.

931
00:58:26.000 --> 00:58:30.560
But then again, that's the enemy using a lie

932
00:58:30.560 --> 00:58:33.840
about who God is and really challenging what I believe

933
00:58:33.840 --> 00:58:36.400
about who God is and what he's capable of

934
00:58:36.400 --> 00:58:39.880
to get me to expect so much less.

935
00:58:39.880 --> 00:58:41.400
And so, yeah.

936
00:58:42.280 --> 00:58:44.200
Oh, Bethany, I think you're on mute.

937
00:58:44.200 --> 00:58:45.040
Thank you.

938
00:58:45.040 --> 00:58:47.280
Remember last week or the week before, ladies,

939
00:58:47.280 --> 00:58:48.880
for those that have been here for a few weeks,

940
00:58:48.880 --> 00:58:51.080
I said, the enemy's always gonna come

941
00:58:51.080 --> 00:58:56.080
and he's gonna offer you every lie he can offer you, okay?

942
00:58:56.160 --> 00:58:57.080
That's what Maureen's saying.

943
00:58:57.080 --> 00:59:00.200
Like the reality is, is everything that we go through,

944
00:59:00.200 --> 00:59:02.360
the enemy's always gonna try to come and offer.

945
00:59:02.360 --> 00:59:06.320
And it's up to us to choose to not eat off of that stuff.

946
00:59:06.320 --> 00:59:07.960
And so I love that Maureen pulled out

947
00:59:07.960 --> 00:59:09.280
that she's like, you know what?

948
00:59:09.560 --> 00:59:11.280
And so I love that Maureen pulled out

949
00:59:11.280 --> 00:59:14.000
that she used to think like a peasant.

950
00:59:14.000 --> 00:59:16.560
We're talking about, you know, thinking like a princess

951
00:59:16.560 --> 00:59:18.200
and thinking like royalty.

952
00:59:18.200 --> 00:59:20.880
Well, the opposite of that is a peasant, is a slave,

953
00:59:20.880 --> 00:59:24.160
is somebody that, you know, again,

954
00:59:24.160 --> 00:59:27.440
typically doesn't have fine linens, if you will.

955
00:59:27.440 --> 00:59:29.880
And it's not about necessarily the dress, ladies.

956
00:59:29.880 --> 00:59:32.120
Obviously, I believe God wants good things for us

957
00:59:32.120 --> 00:59:33.160
even with that.

958
00:59:33.160 --> 00:59:36.560
But just, you know, in our heart posture,

959
00:59:36.560 --> 00:59:39.360
what do you really believe about yourself?

960
00:59:39.360 --> 00:59:41.160
I'm gonna tell you what,

961
00:59:41.160 --> 00:59:42.760
something I feel led to say right now,

962
00:59:42.760 --> 00:59:45.240
and ladies, I don't, this is not to shame anyone

963
00:59:45.240 --> 00:59:46.680
that's ever made this mistake

964
00:59:46.680 --> 00:59:49.360
because I've made this mistake before, okay?

965
00:59:50.680 --> 00:59:54.640
But any of you who feel like you have to sleep with a guy

966
00:59:54.640 --> 00:59:59.640
to keep a guy, that is peasant living, all right?

967
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:10.000
God has a man for you that will literally fight and honor like war for that covenant, war for that blessing.

968
01:00:10.000 --> 01:00:20.000
And I want to encourage those of you, if you've ever struggled with this in the past, to not settle anymore.

969
01:00:20.000 --> 01:00:26.000
Guess what? God will make it great when you meet your spirit mate.

970
01:00:27.000 --> 01:00:32.000
Yeah, I used to struggle with it too. Having been sexually abused, I literally had no boundaries, y'all.

971
01:00:32.000 --> 01:00:38.000
Those were blown out of the water when I was six years old. It's really sad to say it out loud.

972
01:00:38.000 --> 01:00:43.000
At six years old, and that's the earliest memory I have. I don't even know if it happened before that.

973
01:00:43.000 --> 01:00:48.000
And so, yeah, I mean, I felt like, man, I don't know. This is hard. This is so hard.

974
01:00:48.000 --> 01:00:54.000
But God taught me. He taught me how to walk in the fruits of the spirit of self-control.

975
01:00:54.000 --> 01:01:00.000
And I'm not saying it was easy, but I am saying it was worth it. 100%. I'm so glad that I fought for that.

976
01:01:00.000 --> 01:01:04.000
My family, for generations, has lost the war to the spirit of lust.

977
01:01:04.000 --> 01:01:09.000
And I got to a point where I just said, no more of this. No more of this, God.

978
01:01:09.000 --> 01:01:16.000
I need you to help me to overcome this, not just for myself, but for my kids, for my generations behind us.

979
01:01:16.000 --> 01:01:21.000
Like, I don't want them to war with what I'm warring with right now. And I'm going to fight for them.

980
01:01:21.000 --> 01:01:26.000
And so for some of you, I want to encourage you. I want to encourage you to partner with that.

981
01:01:26.000 --> 01:01:31.000
I haven't talked about that on the Real Me session. I don't know. I don't think ever.

982
01:01:31.000 --> 01:01:37.000
But for whatever reason, tonight wanted that to come out. So I encourage you to partner with what God has for you.

983
01:01:37.000 --> 01:01:48.000
He has blessings and love and for you to be valued and for you to be fully loved and fully known that your worth would be like as rubies.

984
01:01:48.000 --> 01:01:54.000
Right. The Bible talks about our worth being far more than rubies. Think about that.

985
01:01:54.000 --> 01:02:00.000
In every way that you would be honored. It's beautiful. It's really powerful.

986
01:02:00.000 --> 01:02:09.000
Maureen, thanks for kicking us off on that tonight. Katie, go ahead.

987
01:02:10.000 --> 01:02:15.000
So mine was competition or I'm sorry, comparison as well.

988
01:02:15.000 --> 01:02:22.000
Not a person that seeks any kind of competition whatsoever.

989
01:02:22.000 --> 01:02:27.000
But comparison is just always been a downfall for me. I love my children.

990
01:02:27.000 --> 01:02:31.000
My son's over here making a bunch of noise. So I apologize.

991
01:02:31.000 --> 01:02:35.000
My kids are 17 and 21 now, and I love them to death.

992
01:02:36.000 --> 01:02:40.000
They're just an amazing blessing. But I never wanted children.

993
01:02:40.000 --> 01:02:47.000
I always wanted a husband that I could go do everything with and travel and just have a best friend.

994
01:02:47.000 --> 01:02:50.000
And I've never had that. My kids have been my best friend while I parent.

995
01:02:50.000 --> 01:02:57.000
I'm not one of those best friend parents. But anyway, I constantly volunteer at church.

996
01:02:57.000 --> 01:03:02.000
I work hard. I've raised two children their whole lives by myself.

997
01:03:02.000 --> 01:03:06.000
And it's like, why do all these people get to have all of the above?

998
01:03:06.000 --> 01:03:11.000
They get to have the husband, the house, the kids, the not have to work.

999
01:03:11.000 --> 01:03:13.000
They get to go on vacations. They get all these things.

1000
01:03:13.000 --> 01:03:18.000
And I know that that is the enemy making everything look perfect. It's not.

1001
01:03:18.000 --> 01:03:25.000
And then I have to remind myself and I reminded my daughter of this yesterday because she was kind of stuck in that thought process too.

1002
01:03:25.000 --> 01:03:29.000
But I was like, our reward isn't here. It's in heaven.

1003
01:03:30.000 --> 01:03:36.000
We serve and we do a lot with our church. We do a huge thing with our kids ministry.

1004
01:03:36.000 --> 01:03:42.000
And I keep reminding her, we're leading people to know God and to feel God's love.

1005
01:03:42.000 --> 01:03:44.000
That'll be a way bigger reward in heaven.

1006
01:03:44.000 --> 01:03:49.000
These people may have this material stuff, but they literally may burn in hell for eternity.

1007
01:03:49.000 --> 01:03:55.000
But I definitely struggle with comparison on so many different aspects.

1008
01:03:55.000 --> 01:03:58.000
Yeah, I can relate to that as well.

1009
01:03:58.000 --> 01:04:02.000
And I really want to pull out something that you said here.

1010
01:04:02.000 --> 01:04:08.000
Why do they get to have fill in the blank? And I don't.

1011
01:04:08.000 --> 01:04:12.000
Okay, I want anyone that can relate to that question.

1012
01:04:12.000 --> 01:04:16.000
Go ahead and chime in the chat. Me too. Just say me too.

1013
01:04:16.000 --> 01:04:24.000
We'll see you. We know what you're responding to.

1014
01:04:24.000 --> 01:04:27.000
Yeah, so number one, I wanted you to know that you're not alone.

1015
01:04:27.000 --> 01:04:34.000
Number two, I want to encourage all of you to come out of alignment with that statement.

1016
01:04:34.000 --> 01:04:36.000
Okay, here's why.

1017
01:04:36.000 --> 01:04:42.000
I know that sometimes it's hard when we see people having things that we believe.

1018
01:04:42.000 --> 01:04:45.000
Like we've been believing for stuff and we've been praying for it.

1019
01:04:45.000 --> 01:04:52.000
And it does feel like even though we don't want to call it this, we feel like God's withholding from us.

1020
01:04:53.000 --> 01:04:54.000
And yes, I love it.

1021
01:04:54.000 --> 01:05:00.000
So beautiful that you're trying to focus on the goodness of serving and the beauty of what you're going to experience.

1022
01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:03.080
experience. Y'all, I don't know if you know this, but there's no

1023
01:05:03.080 --> 01:05:07.160
marriage in heaven. I remember the first time my husband told

1024
01:05:07.160 --> 01:05:10.120
me that and I like almost cried. I don't know that I ever fully

1025
01:05:10.120 --> 01:05:14.220
realized that until Brian, my husband, who's a pastor told me

1026
01:05:14.220 --> 01:05:19.560
that and I was like, bless me. What? No, I didn't say that. But

1027
01:05:19.560 --> 01:05:24.920
I just y'all it was kind of like a shock. Like, oh my gosh, like

1028
01:05:25.920 --> 01:05:29.200
I had to really deal with that in the sense of like feeling

1029
01:05:29.200 --> 01:05:33.000
lost. Well, that's I'm not gonna feel lost you all because we're

1030
01:05:33.000 --> 01:05:35.240
gonna have all this amazing stuff that we're experiencing,

1031
01:05:35.240 --> 01:05:38.120
but I'm not saying don't hope for your spirit mate. So don't

1032
01:05:38.120 --> 01:05:41.320
hear what I'm not saying. But I feel like that's important to

1033
01:05:41.320 --> 01:05:46.040
point out because our time here on earth is very small. Y'all,

1034
01:05:46.400 --> 01:05:53.600
it's very small, but eternity is forever. And so instead of us

1035
01:05:55.160 --> 01:05:57.880
saying, God, why aren't you giving this to me? Why are you

1036
01:05:57.880 --> 01:06:00.200
withholding? Even though, again, we're not maybe saying

1037
01:06:00.200 --> 01:06:03.280
that those words, but internally, we believe that

1038
01:06:03.280 --> 01:06:06.760
stuff. What if we partner with God, thank you for sending my

1039
01:06:06.760 --> 01:06:11.120
spirit mate. God, thank you. He's on the way. God, thank you

1040
01:06:11.120 --> 01:06:14.320
so much for leading me to my spirit mate, my spirit mate to

1041
01:06:14.320 --> 01:06:16.800
me where we just start partnering with what God's

1042
01:06:16.800 --> 01:06:20.400
already doing. Because we believe by faith that he's

1043
01:06:20.400 --> 01:06:23.760
bringing that into our life. It's not name it, claim it. But

1044
01:06:23.760 --> 01:06:27.080
I if God's given you a promise, do you know that you can partner

1045
01:06:27.080 --> 01:06:29.880
with it and start thanking him for it before it's even here?

1046
01:06:31.960 --> 01:06:38.320
You can. And I want to encourage you to do that. And so, Katie, I

1047
01:06:38.320 --> 01:06:42.840
want to encourage you to partner with you are a bride. And you

1048
01:06:42.840 --> 01:06:46.200
are a best friend to your spirit mate. And he's coming soon and

1049
01:06:46.200 --> 01:06:47.080
very soon.

1050
01:06:48.960 --> 01:06:50.840
And I don't want anybody to think I'm not grateful for my

1051
01:06:50.840 --> 01:06:52.800
children. Like I love my children. And I'm so thankful

1052
01:06:53.640 --> 01:06:57.800
they're good children. And like, I feel bad sometimes when I say

1053
01:06:57.800 --> 01:07:00.200
that out loud, because I'm like, I don't ever want somebody to be

1054
01:07:00.200 --> 01:07:02.480
like, Oh, you want to trade it out? I don't know.

1055
01:07:02.920 --> 01:07:06.080
Here, let's work on this. Let's work on this. You don't even

1056
01:07:06.080 --> 01:07:07.760
have to do what you're doing right now.

1057
01:07:09.560 --> 01:07:11.320
Okay, explaining why I said something.

1058
01:07:12.080 --> 01:07:14.680
Well, yeah. And this is the some, there's a lot of people

1059
01:07:14.680 --> 01:07:17.760
that struggle with this, you feel guilty for saying what you

1060
01:07:17.760 --> 01:07:20.920
actually want. And it doesn't mean you don't want your kids.

1061
01:07:21.640 --> 01:07:26.200
It just means that you really want and desire a husband, and a

1062
01:07:26.200 --> 01:07:29.240
spirit mate and someone to run the race with in life, in

1063
01:07:29.240 --> 01:07:34.360
addition to your kids. So you you don't have to explain you

1064
01:07:34.360 --> 01:07:37.040
don't have to feel any. And not that you did. But like for

1065
01:07:37.040 --> 01:07:41.360
anyone else. You don't have to feel shame or guilt for saying

1066
01:07:41.360 --> 01:07:48.320
out loud what you want. God put that desire in you. So I want

1067
01:07:48.320 --> 01:07:50.600
you just to receive that Katie, okay, you don't ever have to

1068
01:07:50.600 --> 01:07:53.600
apologize again for saying that. And I want you to

1069
01:07:53.600 --> 01:07:58.520
practice saying it out loud more often. Because God wants to hear

1070
01:07:58.520 --> 01:08:01.920
you say in agreement, God, thank you for sending me a spirit

1071
01:08:01.920 --> 01:08:06.600
mate. God, thank you for hearing the desire, like responding to

1072
01:08:06.600 --> 01:08:12.000
the desires of my heart. And helping me to understand it's

1073
01:08:12.000 --> 01:08:16.000
okay for me to not only need this, or want this but need

1074
01:08:16.000 --> 01:08:16.520
this.

1075
01:08:20.600 --> 01:08:22.760
And yes, y'all I did say need.

1076
01:08:25.160 --> 01:08:28.560
Our spirit mates do things in our lives that we don't even

1077
01:08:28.560 --> 01:08:33.680
fully comprehend that we need until we encounter an experience

1078
01:08:33.680 --> 01:08:36.720
where they're giving us something that we need. Okay.

1079
01:08:38.279 --> 01:08:40.720
And some of you that have been hurt by men, you might not even

1080
01:08:40.720 --> 01:08:44.040
be able to comprehend that right now. But you'll get there. Just

1081
01:08:44.040 --> 01:08:46.600
continue to surrender the negative things you think about

1082
01:08:46.600 --> 01:08:50.279
men and receive truth about men and start speaking good things

1083
01:08:50.279 --> 01:08:53.359
over men. Remember, there's power in our words. So guess

1084
01:08:53.359 --> 01:08:56.200
what, ladies, if you're asking God to give you a spirit mate,

1085
01:08:56.200 --> 01:08:59.040
and all you do is say negative things about men or think

1086
01:08:59.040 --> 01:09:03.479
negative things about men, isn't it going to be hard where the

1087
01:09:03.479 --> 01:09:06.080
bitter water and the sweet water, they can't come out of

1088
01:09:06.080 --> 01:09:09.399
the same place? Well, guess what, if we're speaking a lot of

1089
01:09:09.399 --> 01:09:12.600
negative, it's really hard for God to send us a blessing of a

1090
01:09:12.600 --> 01:09:15.240
man. That's good, isn't it?

1091
01:09:16.240 --> 01:09:18.560
All right, let's control our thoughts and our words. All

1092
01:09:18.560 --> 01:09:21.720
right. Katie, thanks for sharing. Hilda, go ahead.

1093
01:09:25.800 --> 01:09:31.240
Hi, hi. Hi. Hi. Can you hear me? I can. Oh my goodness. So this

1094
01:09:31.240 --> 01:09:35.640
one hit home. Literally, I've been really getting really close

1095
01:09:35.640 --> 01:09:38.439
with the Lord. And I've been getting prayed for at church and

1096
01:09:38.439 --> 01:09:42.479
everything about this. And so this was spot on. I don't have

1097
01:09:43.000 --> 01:09:49.720
I don't have just one. I have several. Distraction, focus.

1098
01:09:53.200 --> 01:09:59.040
Shame of my authentic self. Something's wrong. I'm too

1099
01:09:59.040 --> 01:10:00.000
chatty.

1100
01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:09.440
beyond to this. I may go on and on or give unsolicited advice.

1101
01:10:09.440 --> 01:10:12.560
That's why you don't have any friends or you don't, you know,

1102
01:10:12.560 --> 01:10:17.040
and, and, you know, and look at you and you could have, you

1103
01:10:17.040 --> 01:10:21.880
could have had could have been doing more by now. And you're

1104
01:10:21.880 --> 01:10:26.120
not, you know, your business hasn't taken off yet. And

1105
01:10:26.240 --> 01:10:29.600
you're still single. And there's definitely something wrong with

1106
01:10:29.600 --> 01:10:34.000
you because you haven't been able to have to keep a man. The

1107
01:10:34.000 --> 01:10:40.840
guys that you've had, you know, you know, you know, didn't, you

1108
01:10:40.840 --> 01:10:44.080
know, you were like, you know, treated didn't treat you better

1109
01:10:44.080 --> 01:10:48.080
because you weren't, you know, you know, that was the kind of

1110
01:10:48.080 --> 01:10:51.560
quality that you were giving, like, that's, these things come

1111
01:10:51.560 --> 01:10:58.120
over and over failure, fear. And then it just, it literally

1112
01:10:58.120 --> 01:11:03.680
suppresses me. And it really gives me like, you know, it

1113
01:11:03.680 --> 01:11:08.600
makes me it used to make me more now I'm a lot better, but would

1114
01:11:08.680 --> 01:11:13.040
bring me down more depressed. And then it would just cause me

1115
01:11:13.040 --> 01:11:18.200
to lose who I really am. And that light doesn't show as much

1116
01:11:18.240 --> 01:11:21.840
and then my my confidence gets affected. And when you don't

1117
01:11:21.840 --> 01:11:25.400
have a you don't have confidence. It's not just only

1118
01:11:25.400 --> 01:11:30.360
with a man, but it's like, am I parenting? Right? Am I? Am I

1119
01:11:30.360 --> 01:11:33.760
making the right choices every day to get to my purpose? I want

1120
01:11:33.760 --> 01:11:36.000
to get to I said, Lord, I want to get to my purpose. I want to

1121
01:11:36.040 --> 01:11:39.160
I want that man that's gonna am I going the right now I start

1122
01:11:39.160 --> 01:11:43.080
self doubting self doubting I'm like, and I go back and I wind

1123
01:11:43.080 --> 01:11:50.960
up and then I wind up just getting kind of lost. And then I

1124
01:11:51.000 --> 01:11:56.720
get stuck. Yeah. So that's, that's me. That's

1125
01:11:57.280 --> 01:12:00.400
how to thank you for sharing that about yourself. I have a

1126
01:12:00.400 --> 01:12:04.200
couple questions for you. Who's the first person that told you

1127
01:12:04.200 --> 01:12:06.440
that you were too chatty? Do you remember?

1128
01:12:09.360 --> 01:12:10.080
My mom?

1129
01:12:10.880 --> 01:12:13.040
Okay, can you tell me why she said that to you?

1130
01:12:14.520 --> 01:12:18.000
I was always I'm the oldest of the three. And I've always had

1131
01:12:18.000 --> 01:12:23.400
that higher energy. And so she's like, she's always said

1132
01:12:23.400 --> 01:12:27.960
that I was loud. She never explained to me why she's just

1133
01:12:27.960 --> 01:12:34.240
like, I'm just like, I'm loud. And she I and I did part in part

1134
01:12:34.240 --> 01:12:37.440
of my healing, I found out through like, relationships when

1135
01:12:37.440 --> 01:12:40.440
I was doing some work before this program about, you know,

1136
01:12:40.440 --> 01:12:43.000
attachment styles, you know, and all that attachment theory

1137
01:12:43.000 --> 01:12:47.640
thing. So I was looking for validation. I was what my mom

1138
01:12:47.640 --> 01:12:51.600
didn't give me, which is was like, I wanted to hear from her.

1139
01:12:52.240 --> 01:12:54.720
You know, like you did, you know, you're doing good, or

1140
01:12:54.720 --> 01:12:57.760
you're trying, you know, or whatever. It was never that it

1141
01:12:57.760 --> 01:13:00.920
was like, I was always, it was never like, I never heard like a

1142
01:13:00.920 --> 01:13:05.320
good positive thing. And so my mom was very to herself, but

1143
01:13:05.320 --> 01:13:08.560
whatever would come out would be only when I would, you know,

1144
01:13:08.560 --> 01:13:12.480
either would be either too loud or to this or to that, you know,

1145
01:13:12.480 --> 01:13:18.120
and she then the loudness, she thought it was me just being

1146
01:13:18.120 --> 01:13:22.960
rebellious, or me being just, you know, like, just kind of

1147
01:13:22.960 --> 01:13:27.560
like, there was something wrong with me, you know, and literally

1148
01:13:27.560 --> 01:13:34.680
every single guy that I have allowed in my life has, has, you

1149
01:13:34.680 --> 01:13:38.680
know, probably seen that about me that that confidence is not

1150
01:13:38.680 --> 01:13:43.840
fair. And, and I, you know, and I allowed a lot of things that

1151
01:13:43.840 --> 01:13:48.920
I would now that I've seen in a different lens would never have.

1152
01:13:49.560 --> 01:13:53.680
Yeah, allowed that, you know, and it's, you know, and it took

1153
01:13:53.680 --> 01:13:57.360
me a lot, I had to forgive mom, it was a lot, I had to forgive

1154
01:13:57.360 --> 01:14:02.400
my mom, I had to go through that process to and give her grace,

1155
01:14:02.400 --> 01:14:06.000
give myself grace, we're in a better place now. But it's like,

1156
01:14:06.320 --> 01:14:10.240
you know, it's so many years, Bethany, it's so many years, you

1157
01:14:10.240 --> 01:14:15.240
know, it's, you know, and so the enemy keeps, you know, through

1158
01:14:15.240 --> 01:14:18.440
relationships, and through things that are that fail in my

1159
01:14:18.440 --> 01:14:21.680
life. It's right there, front and center. It's like, almost

1160
01:14:21.680 --> 01:14:25.120
that reminds me that, that it comes back.

1161
01:14:25.720 --> 01:14:29.240
Yes. So the reason I asked you, out of all the things you said,

1162
01:14:29.240 --> 01:14:31.640
I felt like God highlighted the two chatted to me. And even

1163
01:14:31.640 --> 01:14:34.360
though you've done work on that before, when I encourage you to

1164
01:14:34.360 --> 01:14:37.320
start coming out of agreement and alignment with the lie that

1165
01:14:37.320 --> 01:14:41.800
you're too loud. And you're too chatty. Because here's the

1166
01:14:41.800 --> 01:14:45.080
thing, ladies, when we when people say those things, and

1167
01:14:45.080 --> 01:14:49.240
hey, maybe we were, okay, maybe we were a little chatty, maybe

1168
01:14:49.240 --> 01:14:53.040
we were loud in certain circumstances or whatever. But

1169
01:14:53.040 --> 01:14:55.760
the more people speak those things over us, the more it

1170
01:14:55.760 --> 01:14:59.880
reinforces that. And so we don't even realize

1171
01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:01.380
that we partner with that.

1172
01:15:01.380 --> 01:15:04.700
And then we carry that into relationships.

1173
01:15:04.700 --> 01:15:05.780
Okay.

1174
01:15:05.780 --> 01:15:08.100
And so what occurred you to come out of alignment

1175
01:15:08.100 --> 01:15:09.300
and agreement with those things?

1176
01:15:09.300 --> 01:15:12.500
And then here's the other question I have for you.

1177
01:15:12.500 --> 01:15:15.920
And try to answer this in like a sentence or two.

1178
01:15:17.900 --> 01:15:20.620
What area of your authentic self

1179
01:15:20.620 --> 01:15:23.300
do you struggle with shame the most?

1180
01:15:23.300 --> 01:15:28.300
Like is this a cultural identity struggle?

1181
01:15:31.260 --> 01:15:35.260
Is this a personality?

1182
01:15:35.260 --> 01:15:39.060
Like what areas of your authentic self

1183
01:15:39.060 --> 01:15:42.200
do you have shame regarding?

1184
01:15:44.740 --> 01:15:47.300
It's not called, I wouldn't say it's cultural.

1185
01:15:47.300 --> 01:15:49.520
I would just, I think it's,

1186
01:15:50.120 --> 01:15:54.280
it's, well, my mom, like I'm,

1187
01:15:54.280 --> 01:15:58.200
so like the boys get treated better than my, like than me.

1188
01:15:58.200 --> 01:16:00.400
I was always the one, like I was trying to help mom,

1189
01:16:00.400 --> 01:16:02.280
like helping the family all the time.

1190
01:16:02.280 --> 01:16:05.080
I was one of those, you know?

1191
01:16:05.080 --> 01:16:08.160
And so, yeah, I was always kind of,

1192
01:16:08.160 --> 01:16:11.440
the more I helped, the more I, more things that I did,

1193
01:16:11.440 --> 01:16:13.080
you know, I was always the one

1194
01:16:13.080 --> 01:16:15.280
that was always constantly helping.

1195
01:16:15.280 --> 01:16:20.280
I think that just success,

1196
01:16:20.360 --> 01:16:22.680
I wasn't the one that had like the success.

1197
01:16:22.680 --> 01:16:24.240
Like my mom wanted me to go to college,

1198
01:16:24.240 --> 01:16:26.680
wanted me to do this, wanted me to do that.

1199
01:16:26.680 --> 01:16:27.880
I didn't have the success.

1200
01:16:27.880 --> 01:16:29.840
So those, I don't know if that answers your question,

1201
01:16:29.840 --> 01:16:30.920
but those two things.

1202
01:16:30.920 --> 01:16:32.360
It does, it does.

1203
01:16:32.360 --> 01:16:34.720
I think it's helping us to get there.

1204
01:16:34.720 --> 01:16:38.120
I want to make sure that you don't have a struggle

1205
01:16:38.120 --> 01:16:40.720
internally with your actual like core

1206
01:16:40.720 --> 01:16:42.260
of who God created you to be.

1207
01:16:42.780 --> 01:16:43.620
Okay.

1208
01:16:44.620 --> 01:16:48.660
Because here's the thing, we're all created differently.

1209
01:16:48.660 --> 01:16:51.380
And so if your entire life,

1210
01:16:51.380 --> 01:16:54.580
you've been shamed to feel that you're not good enough

1211
01:16:54.580 --> 01:16:56.060
through the voice of the enemy,

1212
01:16:56.060 --> 01:16:57.300
even though it came through other people

1213
01:16:57.300 --> 01:16:59.540
like your mom or whoever.

1214
01:16:59.540 --> 01:17:00.380
Yeah.

1215
01:17:00.380 --> 01:17:01.700
That you're not partnering with,

1216
01:17:01.700 --> 01:17:02.660
because what you just,

1217
01:17:02.660 --> 01:17:05.060
when I asked about your authentic self,

1218
01:17:05.060 --> 01:17:08.740
you went to the boys got treated better, okay?

1219
01:17:08.740 --> 01:17:11.420
And that probably, in my family, it's interesting.

1220
01:17:11.420 --> 01:17:12.300
You wouldn't know this about me,

1221
01:17:12.300 --> 01:17:13.780
but the same thing happened.

1222
01:17:13.780 --> 01:17:17.100
My mom's mom, where all the abuse came down

1223
01:17:17.100 --> 01:17:18.420
through my mom's family.

1224
01:17:18.420 --> 01:17:21.940
My mom's mom favored the boys always.

1225
01:17:21.940 --> 01:17:25.900
And then my mom did the same thing with my brothers,

1226
01:17:25.900 --> 01:17:27.940
but my brothers were the abusers.

1227
01:17:27.940 --> 01:17:31.140
And so then even when I told,

1228
01:17:31.140 --> 01:17:33.820
my mom like mistreated me and was mean to me

1229
01:17:33.820 --> 01:17:36.320
for literally a whole day, she didn't speak to me.

1230
01:17:37.460 --> 01:17:39.540
And so there was a lot of things in my life,

1231
01:17:39.540 --> 01:17:40.420
in my healing journey,

1232
01:17:40.420 --> 01:17:43.300
where I had to understand

1233
01:17:43.300 --> 01:17:45.540
that I actually had resentment towards men

1234
01:17:45.540 --> 01:17:48.460
because my mom always favored the boys.

1235
01:17:48.460 --> 01:17:49.980
You know, and I had a lot of agreement,

1236
01:17:49.980 --> 01:17:50.940
alignment with that.

1237
01:17:50.940 --> 01:17:55.620
And then also what you said is they always did better

1238
01:17:55.620 --> 01:17:57.100
and I didn't have success.

1239
01:17:57.100 --> 01:17:58.420
And so I want to encourage you,

1240
01:17:58.420 --> 01:18:00.380
because you said a little bit ago too,

1241
01:18:02.740 --> 01:18:04.100
could have been doing more by now.

1242
01:18:04.100 --> 01:18:06.620
So I feel like there is an internal struggle

1243
01:18:06.820 --> 01:18:10.380
that you haven't achieved what you need to achieve by now

1244
01:18:10.380 --> 01:18:13.100
or something that's going on internally.

1245
01:18:13.100 --> 01:18:15.220
And so the more that you come out of agreement

1246
01:18:15.220 --> 01:18:16.500
and alignment with these lies

1247
01:18:16.500 --> 01:18:17.780
that you've been partnering with,

1248
01:18:17.780 --> 01:18:18.900
they were spoken over you.

1249
01:18:18.900 --> 01:18:21.220
So it's a subconscious thing.

1250
01:18:21.220 --> 01:18:23.700
It's not like you're trying to do that,

1251
01:18:23.700 --> 01:18:24.980
but I want to encourage you,

1252
01:18:24.980 --> 01:18:26.420
as you're doing this silhouette,

1253
01:18:26.420 --> 01:18:28.980
really ask the Lord to show you,

1254
01:18:30.260 --> 01:18:32.460
who did he create you to be?

1255
01:18:32.460 --> 01:18:34.420
And that you'll be able to partner with that

1256
01:18:34.420 --> 01:18:35.620
and live into that.

1257
01:18:35.660 --> 01:18:38.540
And I want you to kind of take it a step further

1258
01:18:38.540 --> 01:18:42.060
and ask God to define success for you.

1259
01:18:43.820 --> 01:18:44.660
Okay.

1260
01:18:45.580 --> 01:18:47.060
Because I think that you need to hear

1261
01:18:47.060 --> 01:18:50.260
what God's version of success is,

1262
01:18:50.260 --> 01:18:53.060
and then you can kind of start partnering with that.

1263
01:18:53.060 --> 01:18:55.180
And his version of success is way different

1264
01:18:55.180 --> 01:18:57.780
than the world's version of success,

1265
01:18:57.780 --> 01:19:00.220
or our parents' version of success and all that.

1266
01:19:00.220 --> 01:19:02.420
But once you hear it from him,

1267
01:19:02.420 --> 01:19:03.940
I want to encourage you to come in the group

1268
01:19:03.940 --> 01:19:05.900
and I want to hear from you,

1269
01:19:05.900 --> 01:19:06.980
like in the app group,

1270
01:19:06.980 --> 01:19:09.220
I want to hear what you hear in response

1271
01:19:09.220 --> 01:19:11.660
to that success version, okay?

1272
01:19:11.660 --> 01:19:12.780
Yeah, thank you for that.

1273
01:19:12.780 --> 01:19:14.940
Because all I hear,

1274
01:19:14.940 --> 01:19:19.940
I've never heard anything good about me.

1275
01:19:20.020 --> 01:19:21.540
So I don't even,

1276
01:19:21.540 --> 01:19:25.140
so yeah, I've just been constantly on like,

1277
01:19:25.140 --> 01:19:29.780
on trying to be successful,

1278
01:19:29.780 --> 01:19:31.580
trying to get out of the, you know, try to,

1279
01:19:31.580 --> 01:19:35.660
so it's been that kind of a journey for a long time now,

1280
01:19:35.660 --> 01:19:36.820
and I'm exhausted.

1281
01:19:36.820 --> 01:19:38.860
And I want to be set free from that

1282
01:19:38.860 --> 01:19:42.700
because it just really takes away from my,

1283
01:19:42.700 --> 01:19:44.580
you know, again, my confidence.

1284
01:19:44.580 --> 01:19:47.060
And then that, you know, I want that feminine.

1285
01:19:47.060 --> 01:19:48.300
I want, if someone says to you,

1286
01:19:48.300 --> 01:19:50.100
like you were saying earlier today,

1287
01:19:50.100 --> 01:19:53.340
you know, like people will speak to you,

1288
01:19:53.340 --> 01:19:56.180
like, you know, in a certain kind of way

1289
01:19:56.180 --> 01:19:58.580
that may just be kind of negative towards you.

1290
01:19:58.580 --> 01:20:00.380
And it's not necessarily something.

1291
01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:03.920
that you're doing wrong. It's just that that's that there, there's, you know, there's spirit

1292
01:20:03.920 --> 01:20:08.240
speaking like that. But, and then, so I, I would always take it to heart. Like when somebody would

1293
01:20:08.240 --> 01:20:13.440
say something like that, I would get like, I would, it would sting me. It would sting me so

1294
01:20:13.440 --> 01:20:22.240
bad when I would get feedback, like, Oh, you know? Yeah. So. Yeah. So when you do this exercise

1295
01:20:22.240 --> 01:20:26.880
Hilda, or for anyone else that really struggles to heal, hear positive things about yourself,

1296
01:20:27.760 --> 01:20:33.760
if you need to get out that revealing for healing cycle and help yourself, remember that if you

1297
01:20:33.760 --> 01:20:39.040
have a negative emotion or a negative thought about yourself, you can use that revealing for

1298
01:20:39.040 --> 01:20:45.280
healing cycle to help you come all the way through to the truth. Okay. Super important.

1299
01:20:45.280 --> 01:20:49.200
If you're not sure how to get to the truth that I was talking about earlier, like you're going to

1300
01:20:49.200 --> 01:20:53.600
write the negative, negative things on the paper and then cross that out and ask God for the truth.

1301
01:20:53.600 --> 01:20:57.600
If you don't know how to get to the truth, that revealing for healing cycle is your tool

1302
01:20:57.600 --> 01:21:02.560
to help you get there. Okay. Hilda, thank you so much for sharing. That was incredible.

1303
01:21:02.560 --> 01:21:09.360
So awesome. So I have, Oh, I had two Sarah's up, but now I just want Sarah. So Sarah,

1304
01:21:09.360 --> 01:21:17.840
go ahead. You can share. So I said that mine was imitation, which I actually didn't realize

1305
01:21:17.840 --> 01:21:23.360
until tonight that I really do that. I imitate other people. And I think because I feel like

1306
01:21:24.000 --> 01:21:29.200
whatever they're doing or however they're being is probably the right way or the normal way and

1307
01:21:29.200 --> 01:21:36.320
whatever, if I'm doing something different, I'm probably being weird. And so yeah, so I find

1308
01:21:36.320 --> 01:21:45.520
myself doing that and yeah. And I think a lot of it too, is around personality for me feeling like,

1309
01:21:45.520 --> 01:21:51.680
and I think, I think part of that comes from growing up because I, I was very happy, very

1310
01:21:51.680 --> 01:22:00.800
joyful and you know, the funny one in my family. And so, and, and my, like my dad and my sister

1311
01:22:00.800 --> 01:22:07.120
are on the quieter side, more introverted. I, I, yeah. And I think that I was kind of made fun of

1312
01:22:07.120 --> 01:22:14.320
a lot for, um, for being happy, for being joyful, for, you know, for my personality. And so I kind

1313
01:22:14.320 --> 01:22:18.720
of felt like there was something wrong with it. And I feel like I kind of shut it down a little

1314
01:22:18.720 --> 01:22:25.520
bit along the way. Hey, we'll get ready to bring that back out because that's what tonight is kind

1315
01:22:25.520 --> 01:22:32.800
of like affirming in you. And you said something that really stood out to me. You said, you know,

1316
01:22:32.800 --> 01:22:39.760
other people do it the right way, the normal way. So I feel like, you know, just as you continue to

1317
01:22:39.760 --> 01:22:44.800
heal. And even if you've already forgiven your dad and your sister, you know, or whoever made

1318
01:22:44.800 --> 01:22:50.640
fun of you for being funny and bubbly and joyful, I want to encourage you to do forgiveness prayer

1319
01:22:50.640 --> 01:22:58.480
sheet around that specifically. Um, because I feel like this normal way partners with that,

1320
01:22:59.600 --> 01:23:06.640
like almost as if you being joyful and bubbly and funny, wasn't normal or something. And I want to

1321
01:23:06.640 --> 01:23:12.240
really make sure that you're not aligning with that because I, I, I see that God created you.

1322
01:23:12.240 --> 01:23:16.800
And I hear what you're saying. God didn't create you to be like your dad and your sister. He

1323
01:23:16.800 --> 01:23:22.080
created you to be the way that he created you. And the other thing that you said is I'm probably

1324
01:23:22.080 --> 01:23:29.120
being weird. And that's a very strong statement, you know, about yourself, Sarah, you're not weird.

1325
01:23:29.120 --> 01:23:34.080
And I want to just say that out loud over you tonight. God does not say that you're weird.

1326
01:23:34.080 --> 01:23:39.280
He thinks you're incredible and amazing. And you bring, as I declared that scripture over all of

1327
01:23:39.280 --> 01:23:44.000
you, that God colors into the world. So when you're being joyful, when you're being bubbly

1328
01:23:44.000 --> 01:23:49.920
and funny, you make other people feel alive. And I just don't want the enemy to use those lies over

1329
01:23:49.920 --> 01:23:56.080
you anymore, because I feel like it has pressed you down and it's caused you to label yourself

1330
01:23:56.080 --> 01:24:01.520
as weird. And you're not. And the other thing that came to me is I, I have a friend that,

1331
01:24:01.520 --> 01:24:05.360
and this may not be you, but I just want to use it for context on this whole,

1332
01:24:05.360 --> 01:24:10.560
like when we call ourselves weird, or we, you know, even, Hey, dare I say, some of us say we're

1333
01:24:10.560 --> 01:24:15.200
stupid. We call ourselves stupid and we shouldn't say those things, ladies. I've done it too,

1334
01:24:16.000 --> 01:24:21.200
but I thank God I don't do that anymore. But my friend, when she was younger,

1335
01:24:22.160 --> 01:24:26.560
she went through abuse when she was really young and had a really tough time as a kid.

1336
01:24:27.280 --> 01:24:34.320
Um, and because of that kind of kept to herself in school, read a lot, didn't run and play as

1337
01:24:34.320 --> 01:24:38.880
kind of freely as some of the other kids. And some of the kids made fun of her about that.

1338
01:24:39.920 --> 01:24:46.800
And so she partnered with the lie that she was weird. And one day, um, I was, we're friends,

1339
01:24:46.800 --> 01:24:51.920
but we were kind of doing a heartwork session and, and she just said, I'm sorry, I'm just being so

1340
01:24:51.920 --> 01:24:57.840
weird. And she wasn't, you all, she was just, she was literally just expressing something,

1341
01:24:58.720 --> 01:24:59.760
but that's how we.

1342
01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:01.840
got to the core of like, wait a minute,

1343
01:25:01.840 --> 01:25:03.000
where's this coming from?

1344
01:25:03.000 --> 01:25:03.960
You're not weird.

1345
01:25:03.960 --> 01:25:05.760
Let's get to the bottom of this.

1346
01:25:05.760 --> 01:25:07.920
And so we started doing some heart work

1347
01:25:07.920 --> 01:25:12.040
and that's how I found out about the kids in school.

1348
01:25:12.040 --> 01:25:16.300
And we're all, we all love different things.

1349
01:25:16.300 --> 01:25:19.360
And as kids, unfortunately, we don't understand

1350
01:25:19.360 --> 01:25:22.320
that it's okay for people to be different than us.

1351
01:25:22.320 --> 01:25:26.360
And some adults, because they're hurt people, they're broken

1352
01:25:26.360 --> 01:25:30.080
and they don't know how to allow someone else to shine

1353
01:25:30.080 --> 01:25:33.040
if they don't feel shiny, if you will.

1354
01:25:33.040 --> 01:25:34.160
Does that make sense?

1355
01:25:35.120 --> 01:25:35.960
Yeah.

1356
01:25:35.960 --> 01:25:37.400
And so I just want to encourage you

1357
01:25:37.400 --> 01:25:38.460
to keep coming out of that.

1358
01:25:38.460 --> 01:25:42.120
I think tonight is going to be a really big night for you

1359
01:25:42.120 --> 01:25:43.880
in that sense.

1360
01:25:43.880 --> 01:25:48.640
So you don't have to imitate them anymore

1361
01:25:48.640 --> 01:25:50.880
and you don't have to try to be like them.

1362
01:25:50.880 --> 01:25:53.040
You don't have to like, what does it say?

1363
01:25:53.040 --> 01:25:56.440
That saying, don't try to fit a round peg in a square

1364
01:25:56.440 --> 01:26:00.160
or a square peg in a round hole or something like that.

1365
01:26:00.160 --> 01:26:01.360
Totally mess that up.

1366
01:26:01.360 --> 01:26:03.920
But that's what it makes me think of.

1367
01:26:03.920 --> 01:26:07.140
You weren't made to fit in the same hole that they fit in.

1368
01:26:07.140 --> 01:26:09.440
And I'm sorry if that ever made you feel

1369
01:26:09.440 --> 01:26:13.440
like you were an outsider or anything like that.

1370
01:26:13.440 --> 01:26:16.400
But even as you're doing the forgiveness prayer sheet

1371
01:26:16.400 --> 01:26:18.340
and do a little bit more revealing for healing,

1372
01:26:18.340 --> 01:26:22.360
ask the Lord to show you times where you felt left out

1373
01:26:22.680 --> 01:26:25.080
or you felt minimized because I think this is going to be

1374
01:26:25.080 --> 01:26:28.600
really a big part of your healing process, genuinely.

1375
01:26:30.760 --> 01:26:31.680
Yeah.

1376
01:26:31.680 --> 01:26:32.520
So good.

1377
01:26:32.520 --> 01:26:33.560
Sarah, thank you for sharing that.

1378
01:26:33.560 --> 01:26:34.860
Do you have any questions?

1379
01:26:36.560 --> 01:26:41.040
Like left out and minimized in what kind of like context?

1380
01:26:41.040 --> 01:26:42.480
Well, sometimes,

1381
01:26:42.480 --> 01:26:45.400
cause you said my dad and my sister were quiet

1382
01:26:45.400 --> 01:26:46.960
and I wasn't.

1383
01:26:46.960 --> 01:26:47.800
Okay.

1384
01:26:47.800 --> 01:26:49.200
And so not that that's bad,

1385
01:26:49.200 --> 01:26:52.280
but sometimes what can happen in families and dynamics

1386
01:26:53.040 --> 01:26:54.280
and it might not have been the case in yours.

1387
01:26:54.280 --> 01:26:55.120
Okay.

1388
01:26:55.120 --> 01:26:56.980
So I'm just kind of putting this out there as a seed

1389
01:26:56.980 --> 01:26:59.600
and let's see what God might reveal.

1390
01:26:59.600 --> 01:27:01.400
But like sometimes,

1391
01:27:02.360 --> 01:27:05.560
like if the parent and the child are similar

1392
01:27:05.560 --> 01:27:07.220
and the other kid isn't,

1393
01:27:08.920 --> 01:27:11.360
well, it feels like that this kid over here

1394
01:27:11.360 --> 01:27:12.900
is having a hard time fitting in.

1395
01:27:12.900 --> 01:27:15.300
So an example I'll give you, it's different,

1396
01:27:15.300 --> 01:27:19.120
but my spiritual daughters, Olivia is the youngest.

1397
01:27:19.120 --> 01:27:21.480
She is so talented with cars.

1398
01:27:21.480 --> 01:27:22.960
She loves cars.

1399
01:27:22.960 --> 01:27:25.760
Well, her dad worked in a car place

1400
01:27:25.760 --> 01:27:29.080
where they did car repairs, but he was the sales guy.

1401
01:27:29.080 --> 01:27:32.160
Short of it is that Olivia and her dad could connect

1402
01:27:32.160 --> 01:27:36.840
in this way that Mikayla could never connect in.

1403
01:27:36.840 --> 01:27:41.480
Mikayla is very artsy, very anointed like musician

1404
01:27:41.480 --> 01:27:45.680
and very craftsy, like all of those things.

1405
01:27:45.680 --> 01:27:48.440
And her dad wasn't, he was those things in some way,

1406
01:27:48.440 --> 01:27:50.360
but not to the fullness that she was.

1407
01:27:51.200 --> 01:27:53.520
It created this big separation between them

1408
01:27:53.520 --> 01:27:55.280
and she always felt on the outside.

1409
01:27:57.000 --> 01:27:59.440
And so again, might not be the case in your family,

1410
01:27:59.440 --> 01:28:02.440
but I just want you to explore that and just ask the Lord,

1411
01:28:02.440 --> 01:28:06.600
was there any, because you said they made fun of you a lot.

1412
01:28:06.600 --> 01:28:08.680
So I don't know who made fun of you.

1413
01:28:08.680 --> 01:28:10.560
If it was kids at school,

1414
01:28:10.560 --> 01:28:14.080
it might've been there versus at home, but it's just-

1415
01:28:14.080 --> 01:28:15.400
It was family.

1416
01:28:15.400 --> 01:28:18.080
Okay, okay.

1417
01:28:18.080 --> 01:28:21.560
So in that regard, because of being made fun of,

1418
01:28:21.560 --> 01:28:23.920
like what kind of feelings did you feel?

1419
01:28:25.040 --> 01:28:27.800
And asking the Lord to reveal those things

1420
01:28:27.800 --> 01:28:31.600
so that you can continue to be healed and set free from that.

1421
01:28:32.960 --> 01:28:35.600
Yeah, because as I was talking to you a little while ago,

1422
01:28:35.600 --> 01:28:37.080
it was causing emotion in you.

1423
01:28:37.080 --> 01:28:39.280
And so I know that there's more there.

1424
01:28:40.520 --> 01:28:41.800
Yeah, yeah.

1425
01:28:43.280 --> 01:28:44.120
Great question.

1426
01:28:45.400 --> 01:28:46.240
Awesome.

1427
01:28:46.240 --> 01:28:47.320
Dana, go ahead.

1428
01:28:48.680 --> 01:28:52.920
Yes, so comparison is a big thing for me

1429
01:28:52.920 --> 01:28:54.800
and not ever feeling good enough.

1430
01:28:54.800 --> 01:28:58.920
And I've realized I don't feel wanted

1431
01:28:58.920 --> 01:29:02.040
and I don't know how to feel wanted yet.

1432
01:29:02.040 --> 01:29:05.960
But I, so then I tried to do all these things and think,

1433
01:29:05.960 --> 01:29:08.200
well, if only I was harder working at that

1434
01:29:08.200 --> 01:29:10.640
or more clever at that or this or that.

1435
01:29:10.640 --> 01:29:15.280
And I'm always feeling like the third wheel around friends,

1436
01:29:15.280 --> 01:29:17.760
et cetera, they don't create that for me.

1437
01:29:18.440 --> 01:29:20.320
That's just a feeling I carry with me

1438
01:29:20.320 --> 01:29:22.000
and I just wanna get out of there.

1439
01:29:22.000 --> 01:29:25.120
But the comparison thing really spoke to me.

1440
01:29:25.120 --> 01:29:27.760
Where do you see it the most, with friends or?

1441
01:29:28.720 --> 01:29:30.600
I see it with friends.

1442
01:29:30.600 --> 01:29:32.360
I see it at work a lot.

1443
01:29:32.360 --> 01:29:35.640
And then just in wondering,

1444
01:29:35.640 --> 01:29:38.520
will a man ever actually want me and love me?

1445
01:29:39.880 --> 01:29:41.320
Okay.

1446
01:29:41.320 --> 01:29:43.000
Let me ask you a question.

1447
01:29:44.400 --> 01:29:46.000
Do you recall,

1448
01:29:46.040 --> 01:29:48.840
and if you don't know the answer, it's totally fine.

1449
01:29:48.840 --> 01:29:52.760
Do you recall ever feeling abandoned as a kid in any way

1450
01:29:52.760 --> 01:29:54.520
or neglected?

1451
01:29:54.520 --> 01:29:55.880
Very much so.

1452
01:29:55.880 --> 01:29:59.680
I was adopted as an infant and my,

1453
01:30:00.000 --> 01:30:06.240
adopted parents who are my parents, they just weren't close enough with me.

1454
01:30:08.480 --> 01:30:09.920
Tell me what that means to you.

1455
01:30:11.520 --> 01:30:22.480
That means I was very lonely and that I wasn't, I wasn't ever their own and I could never be

1456
01:30:22.480 --> 01:30:29.920
and I could never be really understood and accepted for all of me.

1457
01:30:33.280 --> 01:30:43.360
Okay, so did they hug you? Did they cuddle you? Like, I'm just, I want to know a little

1458
01:30:43.360 --> 01:30:49.120
bit more about this. Did you experience physical love and embrace from your parents or no?

1459
01:30:49.680 --> 01:30:53.520
I did, but my mother, I felt like always stopped before I was ready to.

1460
01:30:55.280 --> 01:31:02.800
Okay, so she pulled away from the hug more quickly than you did. Okay, and so do you recall,

1461
01:31:03.440 --> 01:31:09.600
did that cause rejection feelings in you? Very much so and feeling like, you know,

1462
01:31:09.600 --> 01:31:14.720
how like you're hungry and you eat, but you never get satisfied because you haven't quite had enough.

1463
01:31:15.280 --> 01:31:23.040
Okay. So one of the tricky things, and you may already know this. So for those of you that don't

1464
01:31:23.040 --> 01:31:34.640
though, if a woman is pregnant with a baby and for whatever reason, you know, it could be trauma.

1465
01:31:34.640 --> 01:31:38.720
It could have been, they got pregnant before they were ready to be pregnant, whatever the case may

1466
01:31:38.720 --> 01:31:43.120
be. So I'm not faulting anyone when I say this, I try to preface things so people don't receive

1467
01:31:43.120 --> 01:31:51.520
them wrong. If someone didn't want a baby was unexpected, let's call it an unexpected pregnancy.

1468
01:31:51.520 --> 01:32:02.960
Okay. They can actually release chemicals to the baby that caused the child to feel rejection

1469
01:32:02.960 --> 01:32:11.600
and experience rejection, even in, in the womb. Okay. It's proven. And so Dana, what I'm hearing

1470
01:32:11.680 --> 01:32:18.640
is some of that. Okay. Because, and again, it doesn't mean that your mom, your adoptive mother

1471
01:32:18.640 --> 01:32:25.360
couldn't have embraced you longer, but what I'm hearing is the wound was already there. Okay.

1472
01:32:25.360 --> 01:32:30.560
And we do know that like, sometimes when people are adopted, that, that is something I'm experiencing

1473
01:32:30.560 --> 01:32:35.040
with a lot of individuals that have come through our program that have experienced adoption. There

1474
01:32:35.040 --> 01:32:42.400
is this deep wound of rejection, abandonment, even when they did have good parents. And kind

1475
01:32:42.400 --> 01:32:47.680
of what the reason I asked you like, Hey, did your mom embrace you? Did your parents hug on you?

1476
01:32:48.800 --> 01:32:57.440
Because I was feeling like the depth of your loneliness, honestly,

1477
01:32:58.400 --> 01:33:04.960
couldn't be satisfied by a person. Does that make sense? And so you were longing for that to be

1478
01:33:04.960 --> 01:33:10.000
satisfied by them, rightfully so as a kid, we don't know any better when we're kids,

1479
01:33:11.120 --> 01:33:18.960
but they couldn't fill the void that only God can fill and heal. Okay. And so I want to encourage

1480
01:33:18.960 --> 01:33:26.320
you, even if you've already done this before in your past, I want to encourage you to ask Jesus

1481
01:33:26.640 --> 01:33:32.720
to reveal where he was the day you were born. Okay. And even before you were born, just like,

1482
01:33:32.720 --> 01:33:40.160
what does he want you to know about your destiny here? And specifically his love towards you.

1483
01:33:42.160 --> 01:33:46.880
I want you to know that you can experience healing what I'm going to call it tonight is

1484
01:33:46.880 --> 01:33:52.640
in the gap. Okay. What I mean by that is from the moment you were conceived,

1485
01:33:53.600 --> 01:34:00.240
I feel the Holy Spirit. Thank you, Jesus. From the moment you were conceived to the moment that

1486
01:34:00.240 --> 01:34:07.600
your parents adopted you, there was a gap. Okay. And I feel like the things that you're experiencing

1487
01:34:07.600 --> 01:34:14.560
and you're, you said, I don't feel wanted. And that was like huge indicator light to me.

1488
01:34:15.680 --> 01:34:21.120
So I believe it's in that gap time that we need, we need Jesus to come in and heal the wounds

1489
01:34:21.120 --> 01:34:26.400
in there. And I don't want you to go digging. I just want you to invite him to start showing you

1490
01:34:27.040 --> 01:34:34.000
the depth of his love for you in that, that time, that void that was created, that

1491
01:34:34.720 --> 01:34:38.880
your parents struggled to fill. Does that make sense? What I'm saying?

1492
01:34:39.920 --> 01:34:45.920
Completely. Okay. You're welcome. And here's another thing. I'm, I just heard the Lord say

1493
01:34:46.000 --> 01:34:50.080
to, um, I really want to encourage you to forgive your adoptive parents

1494
01:34:52.000 --> 01:34:56.160
because here's why I don't, I mean, I don't know the whole story. I don't know how it was

1495
01:34:56.160 --> 01:34:59.840
for you with them growing up, but I do feel like.

1496
01:35:00.000 --> 01:35:04.120
like there's some resentment towards them, because they

1497
01:35:04.120 --> 01:35:07.760
couldn't fill that void. But they were never going to be able

1498
01:35:07.760 --> 01:35:13.760
to. Okay. And so forgiving them. And I do believe I don't, again,

1499
01:35:13.760 --> 01:35:16.820
I don't know your parents, but I really genuinely my spirit feel

1500
01:35:16.820 --> 01:35:22.120
like they did the best that they could. And sometimes to ladies.

1501
01:35:23.460 --> 01:35:25.740
The other thing I want to mention here is if we have

1502
01:35:25.740 --> 01:35:30.100
someone who hugs us, and they pull away quickly, it could be

1503
01:35:30.100 --> 01:35:34.360
just some people aren't huggers. Some people, you know, when they

1504
01:35:34.360 --> 01:35:39.180
feel that intimacy, whoo, it's scary a little bit, right. And

1505
01:35:39.180 --> 01:35:42.060
so they might pull away a little quicker. And so that might be

1506
01:35:42.060 --> 01:35:44.980
the case a little bit too. But through prayer, you'll, you'll

1507
01:35:44.980 --> 01:35:49.340
know more about that. But those couple things specifically,

1508
01:35:49.340 --> 01:35:54.220
let's start there. And let's see what God shows you. I really am

1509
01:35:54.220 --> 01:35:56.580
excited to see and I would love for you to come into the

1510
01:35:56.580 --> 01:35:59.900
grouping, just kind of share what you're hearing. And even if

1511
01:35:59.900 --> 01:36:02.260
it takes a few weeks, okay, Dana, don't feel like you got to

1512
01:36:02.260 --> 01:36:06.300
rush this. But come into the group and let me know kind of

1513
01:36:06.300 --> 01:36:09.040
what you're hearing. I want to make sure that you're hearing

1514
01:36:09.040 --> 01:36:12.300
clearly. And what I mean by that is that you're hearing good

1515
01:36:12.300 --> 01:36:15.820
things, okay, and that you're, you're moving from where you are

1516
01:36:15.820 --> 01:36:20.700
tonight, further into truth and healing in the gap places. And

1517
01:36:20.700 --> 01:36:25.580
that's going to change how you feel regarding people even

1518
01:36:25.580 --> 01:36:30.380
wanting you to be around. All right. Thank you so much.

1519
01:36:30.420 --> 01:36:33.140
You're welcome. Thanks for sharing so vulnerably with us.

1520
01:36:34.540 --> 01:36:38.500
Yeah, and you know, it's interesting, y'all. As a, you

1521
01:36:38.500 --> 01:36:42.020
know, I've always felt called to adopt. That's one of the biggest,

1522
01:36:42.020 --> 01:36:44.540
you know, things I've prayed about is, you know, the

1523
01:36:44.540 --> 01:36:50.540
children and them being able to receive love. And to know really

1524
01:36:50.540 --> 01:36:54.740
how wanted they are. But I know that that is a struggle, you

1525
01:36:54.740 --> 01:36:59.940
know, it's real. So appreciate you. And let's see, is it Nari?

1526
01:37:01.460 --> 01:37:04.140
And for those of you that need to jump off, it's 937. I want to

1527
01:37:04.140 --> 01:37:07.580
acknowledge that I am gonna, I just nobody else put your hands

1528
01:37:07.580 --> 01:37:11.460
up. I am gonna let Nari and Tatiana, Susan and Ruth share.

1529
01:37:11.500 --> 01:37:13.580
Okay. Go ahead, Nari.

1530
01:37:13.620 --> 01:37:17.100
Yes. Hi. Can you hear me?

1531
01:37:17.380 --> 01:37:18.100
I can.

1532
01:37:18.420 --> 01:37:21.340
Okay, this is my first time sharing. I thought I would just

1533
01:37:21.380 --> 01:37:25.860
go ahead and do it. I have been coming to the meetings, but I

1534
01:37:25.860 --> 01:37:29.740
just thought that this would be a good time to share. So I'm

1535
01:37:29.740 --> 01:37:35.140
just, I have a lot to say. I'm kind of echoing a lot of what

1536
01:37:35.140 --> 01:37:39.700
other people said in the room, or virtually, just kind of

1537
01:37:39.700 --> 01:37:44.980
feeling that I'm not worthy or not enough to be in a

1538
01:37:44.980 --> 01:37:49.220
relationship or that I have to kind of earn or prove my love

1539
01:37:49.420 --> 01:37:53.780
for someone. And that usually bleeds out in like doing too

1540
01:37:53.780 --> 01:38:00.060
much or even in the past, just like, like, you know, violating

1541
01:38:00.060 --> 01:38:03.940
my own boundaries, my own physical boundaries, or

1542
01:38:03.940 --> 01:38:07.420
believing that I have to like, you know, I have to be like,

1543
01:38:07.740 --> 01:38:12.620
more successful or more physically attractive to be

1544
01:38:13.580 --> 01:38:18.740
accepted or wanted by someone. And it's interesting, because I

1545
01:38:18.740 --> 01:38:22.860
was also reflecting, like, this is kind of how I also show up in

1546
01:38:22.860 --> 01:38:26.260
my relationship with God in a way I always feel like I have to

1547
01:38:26.260 --> 01:38:31.580
be performing well, or like in his good graces, so to speak, in

1548
01:38:31.580 --> 01:38:36.260
order to be blessed by him. So if I like sin or mess up, it

1549
01:38:36.260 --> 01:38:39.820
almost like throws me off. And then I just kind of, you know,

1550
01:38:39.820 --> 01:38:44.260
feel like, oh, like, you know, he's disappointed. I'm like, it

1551
01:38:44.260 --> 01:38:48.620
kind of it's kind of that same dynamic in a way. And it also

1552
01:38:48.620 --> 01:38:51.820
comes out in my relationships as people pleasing. So I tend to

1553
01:38:51.820 --> 01:38:54.900
people please, I've gotten a lot better at that I've gotten

1554
01:38:54.900 --> 01:38:58.580
better at that in certain relationships, but I find that

1555
01:38:59.860 --> 01:39:07.300
in romantic relationships, I do tend to sort of, I sort of hide

1556
01:39:07.340 --> 01:39:12.340
or like, sort of dim who I am, because I don't want to come

1557
01:39:12.340 --> 01:39:16.660
across as, you know, someone who's too smart or knows a lot.

1558
01:39:16.660 --> 01:39:19.380
So I kind of play that like damsel in distress, because I'm

1559
01:39:19.380 --> 01:39:22.940
like, Oh, this is what this is what a guy wants, you know, like

1560
01:39:22.940 --> 01:39:27.060
he wants a girl who just like, you know, doesn't have an

1561
01:39:27.060 --> 01:39:32.780
opinion looks good kind of thing. And then I'm like a

1562
01:39:32.780 --> 01:39:36.940
natural connector. So I love connecting with people, but I

1563
01:39:36.940 --> 01:39:40.140
find that I do the opposite of that I actually isolate when I'm

1564
01:39:40.140 --> 01:39:44.980
like feeling when I'm feeling when I'm struggling with my

1565
01:39:44.980 --> 01:39:49.940
feelings. Because I find that being authentic or even like,

1566
01:39:50.180 --> 01:39:54.780
being vulnerable is really hard for me. I question people's

1567
01:39:54.780 --> 01:39:58.660
intentions, whether they're actually truly genuinely even

1568
01:39:58.660 --> 01:39:59.300
care.

1569
01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:03.600
Um, and then I also feel like I always have to have it together.

1570
01:40:03.600 --> 01:40:07.620
Like I have to be the person who always has their life together and I have had

1571
01:40:07.620 --> 01:40:11.800
my life together and it's worked out very well for me, but in, in one ways,

1572
01:40:11.800 --> 01:40:16.400
it's left me feeling really lonely because I'm never able to kind of, you

1573
01:40:16.400 --> 01:40:19.760
know, let my guard down and be vulnerable.

1574
01:40:20.160 --> 01:40:23.880
Um, So those are just some of the main things that came out.

1575
01:40:24.240 --> 01:40:24.600
Yeah.

1576
01:40:24.840 --> 01:40:25.360
Yeah.

1577
01:40:25.880 --> 01:40:29.240
So as you were talking and you did say it a couple of times, but as you were

1578
01:40:29.240 --> 01:40:31.880
saying more successful, more, I forget how you said it.

1579
01:40:32.400 --> 01:40:37.200
I heard in my spirit, more, more, more, like, I just feel like there is kind of

1580
01:40:37.200 --> 01:40:44.320
internally in you this lie that you feel like God is never satisfied with you.

1581
01:40:45.880 --> 01:40:46.320
Right.

1582
01:40:46.560 --> 01:40:49.720
And so one of the things that you said, well, two things, you

1583
01:40:49.720 --> 01:40:52.680
said, earn and prove your love.

1584
01:40:52.800 --> 01:40:54.960
Like you got to prove your love to people.

1585
01:40:55.400 --> 01:40:58.360
And then we'll get, we'll deal with the dim thing here in a minute too,

1586
01:40:58.360 --> 01:41:03.240
because I want to make sure to touch on that, but, um, I'm just curious,

1587
01:41:03.240 --> 01:41:07.400
like, when is the first time you felt like you had to earn love?

1588
01:41:10.720 --> 01:41:18.480
I can't remember like a specific conscious memory, but, um, like I was

1589
01:41:18.480 --> 01:41:25.320
never sort of celebrated for who I am just for who I am a lot of, a lot of

1590
01:41:25.640 --> 01:41:30.520
the positive reinforcement I got in my relationships with my parents was

1591
01:41:30.520 --> 01:41:35.840
because of the way I performed, whether it was academically, um, whether it

1592
01:41:35.840 --> 01:41:37.920
was like, oh, you're behaving well.

1593
01:41:38.360 --> 01:41:44.240
So I just knew how to be like someone who behaved well, who did never cause

1594
01:41:44.240 --> 01:41:48.640
me problems, who always did well, like no one even, yeah, like I just, I

1595
01:41:48.640 --> 01:41:53.280
always kind of always had my, my, uh, like, I don't know, even as a kid,

1596
01:41:53.280 --> 01:41:58.360
I just knew that I had to always do well or perform well, because if I

1597
01:41:58.360 --> 01:42:00.880
didn't, then it would be conflict.

1598
01:42:02.000 --> 01:42:02.320
Okay.

1599
01:42:02.320 --> 01:42:07.600
So did your parents withhold love if you didn't do well?

1600
01:42:10.400 --> 01:42:17.920
Um, it wasn't so much like intentional withholding.

1601
01:42:17.920 --> 01:42:19.840
It just, I wasn't getting any praise.

1602
01:42:19.840 --> 01:42:25.240
So like, I liked, I think just even like being acknowledged or praise for the

1603
01:42:25.240 --> 01:42:33.720
things I was doing well in, whether it was like school, um, sorry, my earbuds

1604
01:42:33.720 --> 01:42:35.200
died and you're still hearing me.

1605
01:42:35.640 --> 01:42:35.880
Yeah.

1606
01:42:35.880 --> 01:42:36.560
I can still hear you.

1607
01:42:36.560 --> 01:42:37.280
Can you hear us?

1608
01:42:37.680 --> 01:42:38.160
Yeah.

1609
01:42:38.520 --> 01:42:40.320
So I think it was more so that way.

1610
01:42:40.920 --> 01:42:41.240
Yeah.

1611
01:42:41.280 --> 01:42:42.760
So what are your love languages?

1612
01:42:42.760 --> 01:42:43.520
I'm curious.

1613
01:42:43.600 --> 01:42:44.120
Do you know?

1614
01:42:44.720 --> 01:42:45.320
Yeah.

1615
01:42:45.560 --> 01:42:46.760
Is it words of affirmation?

1616
01:42:47.280 --> 01:42:47.840
Yeah.

1617
01:42:48.200 --> 01:42:49.680
Is that at the top of your list?

1618
01:42:50.040 --> 01:42:50.520
It is.

1619
01:42:50.560 --> 01:42:51.040
Yeah.

1620
01:42:51.400 --> 01:42:51.880
Okay.

1621
01:42:52.000 --> 01:42:54.920
So ladies, the reason I asked that is it's really important for y'all

1622
01:42:54.920 --> 01:42:56.440
to know what your love languages are.

1623
01:42:56.840 --> 01:43:00.840
So if you've never done that quiz, I don't know what the actual website is,

1624
01:43:00.840 --> 01:43:04.560
but if you just go on Google and search, uh, Gary Chapman, love languages quiz,

1625
01:43:04.960 --> 01:43:05.880
it'll take you to it.

1626
01:43:07.080 --> 01:43:14.280
So unfortunately we, not everybody knows how to speak someone else's love language.

1627
01:43:14.280 --> 01:43:19.160
And so your parents, it sounds like they were trying to love you and support you,

1628
01:43:19.520 --> 01:43:22.040
but maybe they weren't speaking your love language.

1629
01:43:22.040 --> 01:43:22.480
Okay.

1630
01:43:22.480 --> 01:43:26.760
And so that caused you to feel, um, cause what you said was significant.

1631
01:43:26.760 --> 01:43:29.360
I wasn't celebrated for who I am.

1632
01:43:30.400 --> 01:43:31.320
Like just a person.

1633
01:43:32.160 --> 01:43:37.760
And so, um, again, the silhouette activation is going to be really good for you.

1634
01:43:37.800 --> 01:43:41.120
It's going to be good for everybody, but I'm just saying, like, I think it's

1635
01:43:41.120 --> 01:43:44.520
going to really hone in on like, who does God say you are?

1636
01:43:44.520 --> 01:43:46.440
Like, what does God like?

1637
01:43:46.440 --> 01:43:48.960
What makes God smile when he thinks of you?

1638
01:43:49.560 --> 01:43:51.920
You know, those are the kinds of questions I would encourage you to ask.

1639
01:43:51.920 --> 01:43:54.920
God helped me to hear what you like, what do you say about me?

1640
01:43:55.280 --> 01:43:59.240
And, and I'll just be curious to see, it's okay to put the things

1641
01:43:59.240 --> 01:44:01.280
about your success on the paper, but.

1642
01:44:02.120 --> 01:44:07.120
I want you to lean into more of the other things because you, you need the love and

1643
01:44:07.120 --> 01:44:09.880
affirmation about who you are as a person.

1644
01:44:10.160 --> 01:44:11.720
And God wants you to hear that.

1645
01:44:11.720 --> 01:44:16.160
And that is things that he's speaking over you, but sometimes even our

1646
01:44:16.160 --> 01:44:20.400
counterfeit identities, we hear through the voice of, of our, you know, our

1647
01:44:20.400 --> 01:44:24.920
parents or that success, you know, cause you said, I also feel like this

1648
01:44:25.080 --> 01:44:26.960
affects my relationship with the Lord.

1649
01:44:27.200 --> 01:44:31.360
So you already like have this filter that you're never good enough

1650
01:44:31.360 --> 01:44:33.720
for him, which isn't true.

1651
01:44:34.720 --> 01:44:38.520
And so, you know, really asking the Lord, even when is the first time I

1652
01:44:38.520 --> 01:44:43.640
believed the lie that, you know, you were, you're like, you're literally

1653
01:44:43.640 --> 01:44:45.440
never satisfied with me, Lord.

1654
01:44:46.240 --> 01:44:50.400
And just start asking him those questions and see what he reveals to you.

1655
01:44:50.720 --> 01:44:53.360
It could have been something that happened in youth group.

1656
01:44:53.360 --> 01:44:57.440
I mean, there's so many things that we go through that we kind of pass over and

1657
01:44:57.440 --> 01:44:59.640
again, shove them down because we keep going.

1658
01:45:00.000 --> 01:45:03.200
The Lord knows what needs to be revealed to help you get there.

1659
01:45:03.520 --> 01:45:07.120
And then the last thing I want to say is on the dimming, who you are.

1660
01:45:08.240 --> 01:45:08.640
Okay.

1661
01:45:09.200 --> 01:45:11.520
I want to encourage you to not do that anymore.

1662
01:45:11.600 --> 01:45:12.160
Okay.

1663
01:45:12.360 --> 01:45:14.120
Like live and be who you are.

1664
01:45:14.120 --> 01:45:15.240
Be smart.

1665
01:45:15.560 --> 01:45:17.520
Don't like minimize that.

1666
01:45:17.560 --> 01:45:23.000
But here's the thing, the more that you heal and, and the more that you grow in

1667
01:45:23.000 --> 01:45:25.640
the things that we're going to be teaching you, we will talk about how

1668
01:45:25.640 --> 01:45:27.920
to walk in the divine feminine.

1669
01:45:28.280 --> 01:45:28.680
Okay.

1670
01:45:28.840 --> 01:45:32.800
We can be strong and have brilliant minds, but walk in the divine feminine.

1671
01:45:33.160 --> 01:45:36.240
We can be smart and wise, but be soft.

1672
01:45:36.640 --> 01:45:37.040
Okay.

1673
01:45:37.320 --> 01:45:44.240
But being soft is not dimming our, our brains, our thoughts or minimizing, you

1674
01:45:44.240 --> 01:45:48.200
know, our values to fit into someone else's box.

1675
01:45:48.600 --> 01:45:48.920
Okay.

1676
01:45:49.680 --> 01:45:54.680
Um, and, and I think on the, the connection, the more that you heal

1677
01:45:54.680 --> 01:45:56.840
regarding your core identity stuff.

1678
01:45:57.360 --> 01:45:58.400
That we've been talking about.

1679
01:45:58.400 --> 01:46:01.040
I think it's going to help you not go into isolation more.

1680
01:46:02.480 --> 01:46:03.880
I think those are connected.

1681
01:46:04.640 --> 01:46:05.040
Okay.

1682
01:46:05.680 --> 01:46:06.120
Yeah.

1683
01:46:06.880 --> 01:46:07.480
Thank you.

1684
01:46:07.680 --> 01:46:08.320
You're welcome.

1685
01:46:08.760 --> 01:46:11.640
And ladies on any, anybody, just so I don't have to keep saying it.

1686
01:46:11.720 --> 01:46:15.720
If you are processing this stuff that I'm giving you and you're having a hard

1687
01:46:15.720 --> 01:46:18.840
time, or you're just like, okay, this is what I'm hearing and I don't

1688
01:46:18.840 --> 01:46:20.120
know where to go from here.

1689
01:46:20.320 --> 01:46:23.280
If you come into the group and ask us, we'll coach you through how

1690
01:46:23.280 --> 01:46:24.480
to take that to the next step.

1691
01:46:24.480 --> 01:46:24.960
Okay.

1692
01:46:25.560 --> 01:46:26.120
All right.

1693
01:46:26.200 --> 01:46:27.760
Um, Ruth, go ahead.

1694
01:46:30.000 --> 01:46:30.280
Hi.

1695
01:46:30.360 --> 01:46:33.680
Um, so actually what I was going to say, that's why I've been taking

1696
01:46:33.680 --> 01:46:37.320
copious notes, it's a combination of what Maureen said, what Sarah

1697
01:46:37.320 --> 01:46:38.720
said, and what Mary said.

1698
01:46:38.720 --> 01:46:42.000
So I think I was trying to write down everything you said for them.

1699
01:46:42.360 --> 01:46:45.120
What really, um, I was going to say, but I guess not what in the group,

1700
01:46:45.120 --> 01:46:47.240
but at the beginning you said something.

1701
01:46:47.240 --> 01:46:49.480
And in the middle, you said, you know, you spoke about partnering

1702
01:46:49.480 --> 01:46:52.200
with God has for you, but right when the call started, you said that I

1703
01:46:52.200 --> 01:46:56.160
believe this is the word for someone, make room for the new God has for you.

1704
01:46:56.160 --> 01:46:58.840
And I wanted to let you know that I believe that word is for me.

1705
01:46:59.360 --> 01:47:03.840
Uh, because I actually had a dream last today, Monday.

1706
01:47:03.840 --> 01:47:08.280
So yesterday, um, yesterday morning, um, early in the morning, I had a dream

1707
01:47:08.320 --> 01:47:13.240
in along the lines of exactly what you said, and I just wanted to let you

1708
01:47:13.240 --> 01:47:20.400
know that that was like a confirmation for me that God, God is trying to,

1709
01:47:20.560 --> 01:47:21.560
yeah, something new.

1710
01:47:21.760 --> 01:47:22.000
Yeah.

1711
01:47:22.400 --> 01:47:23.520
Thank you so much for,

1712
01:47:24.360 --> 01:47:25.320
you're so welcome.

1713
01:47:26.480 --> 01:47:27.680
I'm excited to hear that.

1714
01:47:28.960 --> 01:47:29.160
Yeah.

1715
01:47:29.760 --> 01:47:30.720
Thank you for sharing.

1716
01:47:31.240 --> 01:47:32.040
Is that all you had?

1717
01:47:33.520 --> 01:47:33.680
Yeah.

1718
01:47:33.680 --> 01:47:37.440
Because I mean, I feel like what you said for everyone, I can glean from it and I

1719
01:47:37.440 --> 01:47:41.440
know we're over time, but yeah, it was just the piece I thought at the beginning,

1720
01:47:41.440 --> 01:47:43.120
I was like, Oh my gosh, I have to listen to this again.

1721
01:47:43.120 --> 01:47:45.480
And I was trying to write that, what you said.

1722
01:47:45.760 --> 01:47:46.040
So yeah.

1723
01:47:46.080 --> 01:47:46.520
Thank you.

1724
01:47:46.960 --> 01:47:47.800
You're welcome.

1725
01:47:47.920 --> 01:47:49.680
So glad that you shared with us tonight.

1726
01:47:49.680 --> 01:47:51.240
Susan H go ahead.

1727
01:47:58.360 --> 01:47:59.600
Hi, sorry.

1728
01:48:00.200 --> 01:48:00.720
That's all right.

1729
01:48:00.720 --> 01:48:02.240
I stepped into the other room.

1730
01:48:03.160 --> 01:48:06.000
And, um, so I'm a little distracted.

1731
01:48:06.640 --> 01:48:09.000
This is a really on time lesson for me.

1732
01:48:09.640 --> 01:48:14.800
And, um, I had significant breakthrough when I spent a whole week and got caught

1733
01:48:14.800 --> 01:48:18.320
up with all the homework and had freedom breakthrough.

1734
01:48:18.320 --> 01:48:24.200
And then since I've been back, it's been, it's just been warfare.

1735
01:48:25.040 --> 01:48:32.920
So, um, especially this weekend and, um, what was coming up for me is, um,

1736
01:48:36.240 --> 01:48:38.520
Oh, what is my counterfeited identity?

1737
01:48:38.560 --> 01:48:44.240
I'm really trying to prove who I am to people that I was ministering with.

1738
01:48:44.240 --> 01:48:50.560
And, um, uh, comparisons was coming up.

1739
01:48:50.600 --> 01:48:57.800
Um, my rejection, this rejection issue that I, um, that I struggled with.

1740
01:48:58.880 --> 01:49:10.840
Um, and this, um, I had, I used to have attachment issues, but they come up here

1741
01:49:11.840 --> 01:49:15.960
because I was a girl and in my family and oldest and strong willed future leader.

1742
01:49:16.640 --> 01:49:23.520
Um, I, I just was left with this abandonment and rejection feeling, um,

1743
01:49:23.520 --> 01:49:24.360
most of my life.

1744
01:49:24.400 --> 01:49:33.600
And, um, so when I married my husband, um, now ex-husband and, um, it was, um,

1745
01:49:34.040 --> 01:49:35.120
a perfect storm.

1746
01:49:35.280 --> 01:49:37.520
I mean, it was just a familiar thing.

1747
01:49:37.640 --> 01:49:44.960
And so through that, I was abused in every kind of way that you can be abused.

1748
01:49:45.000 --> 01:49:51.840
And so, um, and I have a lot more in my story, but what was coming out of this

1749
01:49:51.840 --> 01:49:59.920
is, um, fear, um, a lot of fear.

1750
01:50:00.000 --> 01:50:06.480
of what the church, other Christians were going to talk to me about. I have church hurt, too.

1751
01:50:07.280 --> 01:50:12.800
So, the fear of ministering to others, I don't know, and trusting people who

1752
01:50:13.520 --> 01:50:20.640
call themselves Christian, even though my job is to love my neighbor as myself, you know. So,

1753
01:50:20.640 --> 01:50:32.960
a lot of that was, I really beat up myself a whole lot. I did not hear from the Spirit

1754
01:50:32.960 --> 01:50:41.280
this weekend about a particular thing. And so, when I realized I overstepped somebody's boundaries,

1755
01:50:41.280 --> 01:50:51.600
I just had been in beat-up mode all day for the rest of the day. And like, forgive me, Lord.

1756
01:50:51.600 --> 01:50:58.560
Forgive me. Forgive me for overstepping bounds. Forgive and repent of things. And a lot of times,

1757
01:50:58.560 --> 01:51:02.400
I'll go to my friends. I'll go, I'm so sorry I did that. And they're like, did what?

1758
01:51:03.520 --> 01:51:08.000
Yeah. Yeah. So, you're being harsh on yourself is what I'm hearing you say.

1759
01:51:08.560 --> 01:51:14.720
Yeah. Yeah. And these rejection issues that I have had so much freedom over

1760
01:51:16.480 --> 01:51:27.200
and really operating in this place of myself and my strength and really wanting to abide in God. And

1761
01:51:29.200 --> 01:51:32.480
you know, I don't want to forget him. He never forgets me.

1762
01:51:33.440 --> 01:51:38.480
Right. So, when you're with people that you were ministering with,

1763
01:51:39.360 --> 01:51:43.040
what led you to feel like you had to prove yourself? Can you tell me?

1764
01:51:45.440 --> 01:51:55.280
I just had met them. And so, I had just met some people. I had seen them around,

1765
01:51:55.280 --> 01:52:00.960
but didn't get to know them. So, I was like, hi, my name is Susan. And I heard somebody

1766
01:52:00.960 --> 01:52:06.480
about talking about, you know, somebody was going to give their testimony at this thing.

1767
01:52:06.480 --> 01:52:10.080
And I'm like, oh, if you ever need a testimony, they're like, oh, sure,

1768
01:52:10.080 --> 01:52:16.080
we would love to hear your testimony. What I didn't do is posture and improve,

1769
01:52:16.080 --> 01:52:21.760
pray about the timing of that. So, I had a little tiny bit of a testimony that I told,

1770
01:52:21.760 --> 01:52:29.440
and they were very patient and kind about it. But it was about posturing, improving,

1771
01:52:29.440 --> 01:52:35.840
like, here I am. I dare you to care about me and align with me and be my friend. I dare you,

1772
01:52:36.960 --> 01:52:43.520
you know. Okay. It used to be worse. Yeah, no, no, that's okay. No, that's okay.

1773
01:52:45.120 --> 01:52:51.440
So, I want to encourage you on this. You know, you mentioned church hurt and some things there.

1774
01:52:52.160 --> 01:52:56.400
And if you're saying that what shows up is I dare you to try to be my friend.

1775
01:52:56.960 --> 01:53:04.000
I'm assuming there's hurt with friends there in the past as well. And so, what we need to do is

1776
01:53:04.000 --> 01:53:08.480
get to the root of the matter. So, when is the first time you got hurt either in community in

1777
01:53:08.480 --> 01:53:16.080
a church or by a friend, maybe both. And really continuing to, even if you've already been doing

1778
01:53:16.080 --> 01:53:22.160
the work on that, it's coming up again tonight. So, there's something that God is trying to help

1779
01:53:22.160 --> 01:53:33.760
you move into more healing in that area. So, I want to encourage you to really ask the Lord,

1780
01:53:33.760 --> 01:53:39.040
when is the first time that I dare you to try to be my friend? And maybe this even started,

1781
01:53:39.040 --> 01:53:44.800
I don't know, do you have siblings? Yeah, I have a younger brother. And it started

1782
01:53:44.800 --> 01:53:51.280
in my childhood. I know that it did. My brother's younger and he was the perfect child. And man,

1783
01:53:51.280 --> 01:54:01.840
is he an amazing, kind, wonderful brother. He really is. But it was when he was the perfect

1784
01:54:01.840 --> 01:54:06.640
child and I was not. That's when the comparisons and sabotage began.

1785
01:54:08.320 --> 01:54:14.480
Okay. And so, basically, you're going to have to come out of agreement with,

1786
01:54:14.560 --> 01:54:17.440
he was perfect and I was not. Yeah.

1787
01:54:18.720 --> 01:54:25.920
Okay. So, the more, again, while some of those, maybe there were situations where you responded

1788
01:54:25.920 --> 01:54:31.440
differently, reacted differently, whatever you want to say. But the more you partner with,

1789
01:54:31.440 --> 01:54:37.360
he was perfect and I wasn't, that's going to continue to keep you separate from him

1790
01:54:37.360 --> 01:54:43.680
and other people. And so, we have to start to heal the fissure that's been created there.

1791
01:54:43.680 --> 01:54:51.920
Okay. I've been very misunderstood and I've been very misunderstood. And what happens is that

1792
01:54:52.480 --> 01:54:58.560
I'll speak something that comes from my heart and sometimes from God and sometimes it has been

1793
01:55:00.000 --> 01:55:07.000
construed and flipped around. And then I am left out of

1794
01:55:07.000 --> 01:55:15.360
community. Yeah, it has been turned around and misused. And

1795
01:55:17.080 --> 01:55:19.440
and so it's a

1796
01:55:20.480 --> 01:55:24.280
can you create a post in the group and tell me more like, you

1797
01:55:24.280 --> 01:55:26.720
don't have to go into full detail. But I want to know more

1798
01:55:26.720 --> 01:55:30.880
what that what that situation and dynamic looked like. Because

1799
01:55:30.880 --> 01:55:34.560
I feel like I need to coach you more in depth on this. Yeah.

1800
01:55:34.960 --> 01:55:38.480
Yeah, that would be super helpful. And even on the I dare

1801
01:55:38.480 --> 01:55:41.560
you like as you pray, like asking the Lord, when is the

1802
01:55:41.560 --> 01:55:45.480
first time? You know, you didn't allow someone to enter

1803
01:55:45.480 --> 01:55:47.840
relationship with you, basically, because that's what

1804
01:55:47.840 --> 01:55:51.720
that question is saying, like, you really can't come near me,

1805
01:55:51.800 --> 01:55:55.040
you know, so when did you when was the first time you put walls

1806
01:55:55.040 --> 01:55:59.600
up and wouldn't let someone come close to you? And so that's

1807
01:55:59.600 --> 01:56:02.280
what I want you to be asking the Lord and then come back and tell

1808
01:56:02.280 --> 01:56:05.280
me in the group about that and about what you were just talking

1809
01:56:05.280 --> 01:56:07.680
about the church stuff, because I want to I want to work through

1810
01:56:07.680 --> 01:56:12.000
that more in depth with you. Okay. Okay. Thank you. You're

1811
01:56:12.000 --> 01:56:15.960
welcome. Susan, thank you so much for sharing. Tatiana. Go

1812
01:56:15.960 --> 01:56:16.520
ahead.

1813
01:56:17.560 --> 01:56:23.120
Hi. Hi, again, I ended up raising my hand because mine I

1814
01:56:23.400 --> 01:56:26.680
like after we went to the breakout calls, I realized mine

1815
01:56:26.680 --> 01:56:32.240
was jealousy. And I feel like it's not something like it

1816
01:56:32.240 --> 01:56:36.240
hasn't been a trend in my life. But it's something that within

1817
01:56:36.240 --> 01:56:42.160
the past year has really been like, on my heart. And so last

1818
01:56:42.160 --> 01:56:46.280
year, my sister and I, we both did our very first pageant ever.

1819
01:56:46.280 --> 01:56:49.120
And it was something that I felt like the Lord had kind of pushed

1820
01:56:49.120 --> 01:56:55.720
me to do. And so we ended up going getting we had like a

1821
01:56:55.720 --> 01:56:58.560
coach, we like, you know, did the whole thing. It's a lot of

1822
01:56:58.560 --> 01:57:04.400
work. And at the state pageant, my sister ended up winning in

1823
01:57:04.400 --> 01:57:08.080
her division. So she's Miss Kansas Junior preteen. And then

1824
01:57:08.080 --> 01:57:15.520
I was first runner up in mine. And at first, like, I was cool.

1825
01:57:15.520 --> 01:57:17.840
You know, I was really happy for like the girl who won in my

1826
01:57:17.840 --> 01:57:20.800
division, and my sister and everything, and just

1827
01:57:20.800 --> 01:57:27.680
celebrating, but the girl who won in my division. Okay, so

1828
01:57:27.680 --> 01:57:31.520
before, like the final composition where she won, there

1829
01:57:31.520 --> 01:57:34.720
we had like little hangouts where, you know, like a pajama

1830
01:57:34.720 --> 01:57:37.440
party and different little parties for like all the girls

1831
01:57:37.440 --> 01:57:39.920
to get to know each other and mix and mingle. And I got along

1832
01:57:39.920 --> 01:57:45.280
with like, everyone so well, except that one girl. And from

1833
01:57:45.280 --> 01:57:49.280
the first, like, it's so bad, like, the first impression I

1834
01:57:49.280 --> 01:57:53.600
have of her, I looked over, and she like, almost like looked me

1835
01:57:53.600 --> 01:57:58.560
up and down, and like, was kind of like sizing me up. And so I

1836
01:57:58.560 --> 01:58:02.400
just felt like, like, oh, like, I can't be friends with her

1837
01:58:02.400 --> 01:58:06.320
because like, she's treating me as competition. That's just how

1838
01:58:06.320 --> 01:58:11.520
I took that like, look that she gave me. And um, but like, I

1839
01:58:11.520 --> 01:58:15.440
didn't think much of it until after she, you know, she won

1840
01:58:15.440 --> 01:58:20.240
and everything. And I like, still felt fine. But then, um,

1841
01:58:20.240 --> 01:58:23.200
a few months later, there was a parade and her and my sister

1842
01:58:23.200 --> 01:58:27.600
were in it. Um, so of course, I'm there to support. But when

1843
01:58:27.600 --> 01:58:30.720
I saw her holding, she was like holding my little sister's

1844
01:58:30.720 --> 01:58:36.160
hand. Oh, that made me so mad. That made me so mad because it,

1845
01:58:36.160 --> 01:58:40.160
I don't know why. But it was just like, of all the people

1846
01:58:40.160 --> 01:58:47.680
like, like, why did she get picked? It just made me, I

1847
01:58:47.680 --> 01:58:52.640
don't know, just very upset. Because I feel like when I

1848
01:58:52.640 --> 01:58:55.680
interact with it with everyone else, like, she was the only

1849
01:58:55.680 --> 01:59:00.400
person that didn't make me feel welcome. And that just got

1850
01:59:00.400 --> 01:59:03.280
under my skin. And it like, continues to get under my skin

1851
01:59:03.280 --> 01:59:06.320
because like, she's done a lot of work with my little sister,

1852
01:59:06.320 --> 01:59:08.880
which is really cool. Like, and I just try to be supportive.

1853
01:59:08.880 --> 01:59:12.480
But I just feel like I can't even talk to her. Like, I don't

1854
01:59:12.480 --> 01:59:17.040
even want to think about it. But it came up today. And I had a

1855
01:59:17.040 --> 01:59:21.280
feeling that even though she looked you up and down, I have

1856
01:59:21.280 --> 01:59:25.040
a feeling that there may be something undiscovered for both

1857
01:59:25.040 --> 01:59:31.840
of you. If you will choose to forgive her for, for doing that

1858
01:59:31.840 --> 01:59:35.840
and really release her from that first impression that wasn't so

1859
01:59:35.840 --> 01:59:39.680
good. And let's just see, I know it can be tough. And this is

1860
01:59:39.680 --> 01:59:42.480
real stuff. And I appreciate you like sharing. I mean, these are

1861
01:59:42.480 --> 01:59:48.880
things. I said that this story earlier today, ladies. You know,

1862
01:59:48.880 --> 01:59:53.280
years ago, I went through this situation when I was really

1863
01:59:53.280 --> 01:59:56.960
vulnerable. I had been cheated on several times. And not that

1864
01:59:56.960 --> 01:59:59.280
this is the same as what you're saying. But I just want to give

1865
01:59:59.280 --> 01:59:59.920
some context.

1866
02:00:00.000 --> 02:00:05.560
for some other people who might relate in these ways.

1867
02:00:05.560 --> 02:00:12.320
And I would be driving home and I would see these women and they were beautiful.

1868
02:00:12.320 --> 02:00:17.640
And I would see all these aspects about them and minimize myself in certain ways.

1869
02:00:17.640 --> 02:00:21.960
And then I would start thinking negative things about them.

1870
02:00:21.960 --> 02:00:25.240
And then I would drive home again and it would happen again.

1871
02:00:25.240 --> 02:00:30.800
And I remember just starting to feel frustrated, like, why do I keep thinking these things?

1872
02:00:30.800 --> 02:00:32.240
I don't even know these women.

1873
02:00:32.240 --> 02:00:35.600
Like, you know, and I just, that's not even who I am.

1874
02:00:35.600 --> 02:00:38.240
And so I was just like, God, what's going on?

1875
02:00:38.240 --> 02:00:40.080
And the Lord just started speaking to me.

1876
02:00:40.080 --> 02:00:45.560
And he said that the enemy is trying to attack you in this area because I've called you to

1877
02:00:45.560 --> 02:00:48.840
impact women.

1878
02:00:48.840 --> 02:00:52.800
The enemy was trying to get me to talk negative and think negative about women because God

1879
02:00:52.800 --> 02:00:56.120
called me to impact women.

1880
02:00:56.120 --> 02:00:57.760
And I was like, whoa, okay.

1881
02:00:57.760 --> 02:00:59.200
So yeah.

1882
02:00:59.200 --> 02:01:03.800
I mean, it wasn't like a, I didn't know that before that moment at all, but it just became

1883
02:01:03.800 --> 02:01:05.160
very clear to me.

1884
02:01:05.160 --> 02:01:10.400
And so from that day forward, I started, if I had any negative thoughts towards women,

1885
02:01:10.400 --> 02:01:14.760
I would flip them and I would just start speaking good things over them because you know what

1886
02:01:14.760 --> 02:01:20.520
their beauty didn't make my beauty less.

1887
02:01:20.520 --> 02:01:23.000
And so Tatiana, I want you to hear that.

1888
02:01:23.000 --> 02:01:27.000
Her winning didn't make you less.

1889
02:01:27.000 --> 02:01:31.240
Okay.

1890
02:01:31.240 --> 02:01:34.160
I don't know why God chose to allow her to win.

1891
02:01:34.160 --> 02:01:42.560
I don't know why he is teaching you and guiding you through this disappointment that you experienced,

1892
02:01:42.560 --> 02:01:47.040
but I believe that so much can be gained from it.

1893
02:01:47.040 --> 02:01:54.680
You know, us being willing ladies there's so much war among women, you know, and this,

1894
02:01:54.680 --> 02:01:58.400
that we have to compete with each other and we look each other up and down and, and sometimes

1895
02:01:58.400 --> 02:01:59.400
people do it.

1896
02:01:59.400 --> 02:02:01.800
And I've been in a place I've walked into a place and had that happen.

1897
02:02:01.800 --> 02:02:03.580
I know it feels horrible.

1898
02:02:03.580 --> 02:02:10.160
And actually years ago you wouldn't know this, but way back when I was a little young girl

1899
02:02:10.160 --> 02:02:12.080
I was in a pageant too.

1900
02:02:12.080 --> 02:02:17.000
And I had a very similar experience happen and I didn't win, but you know what?

1901
02:02:17.000 --> 02:02:22.560
When I look back at that, those moments, I'm so proud of myself because I did something

1902
02:02:22.560 --> 02:02:24.600
that was amazing.

1903
02:02:24.600 --> 02:02:29.840
And I went through interviews and, and you know, had to do the whole walking in the dress.

1904
02:02:29.840 --> 02:02:31.680
Thank God I didn't have to do the bathing suit.

1905
02:02:31.680 --> 02:02:33.960
That was one of my biggest fears.

1906
02:02:33.960 --> 02:02:42.000
But I'm saying that to you to say, you know, if we won't allow the enemy to cause us to

1907
02:02:42.000 --> 02:02:49.440
minimize ourselves or feel negative when those circumstances happen, we win.

1908
02:02:49.440 --> 02:02:50.840
Okay.

1909
02:02:50.840 --> 02:02:51.840
We win.

1910
02:02:51.840 --> 02:02:59.360
And you're not less than because she won first place and she isn't going to take the place

1911
02:02:59.360 --> 02:03:01.320
in your sister's heart.

1912
02:03:01.320 --> 02:03:03.960
That's yours.

1913
02:03:03.960 --> 02:03:08.520
You know, and I, I want to, I want to say that's what I think the core of the jealousy

1914
02:03:08.520 --> 02:03:13.920
is, is that fear of being replaced and you're not replaceable.

1915
02:03:13.920 --> 02:03:15.600
You're pretty special.

1916
02:03:15.600 --> 02:03:19.680
And so you don't have to compete for your sister's love.

1917
02:03:19.680 --> 02:03:23.800
You don't have to, you know, partner with those lies of the enemy that he's offering

1918
02:03:23.800 --> 02:03:24.800
you.

1919
02:03:24.800 --> 02:03:29.120
You can partner with the truth that your sister loves you and she can love this other woman

1920
02:03:29.120 --> 02:03:30.120
too.

1921
02:03:30.120 --> 02:03:35.000
This other young lady, you know, and there's enough room in her heart for both of you without

1922
02:03:35.000 --> 02:03:37.960
her competing without there being any competition.

1923
02:03:37.960 --> 02:03:42.560
And I'm not saying she's going to love her, but I do want you to kind of all of you kind

1924
02:03:42.560 --> 02:03:48.280
of get into that place because in life, you're going to face so many things where the enemy

1925
02:03:48.280 --> 02:03:51.800
is going to try to get you to compete and you don't have to.

1926
02:03:51.800 --> 02:03:53.400
So forgive her.

1927
02:03:53.400 --> 02:03:54.400
Okay.

1928
02:03:54.400 --> 02:03:57.600
Use a forgiveness prayer sheet, literally write it out, forgive her for looking you

1929
02:03:57.600 --> 02:04:03.960
up and down and any other negative thing you felt from her and release her to the Lord.

1930
02:04:03.960 --> 02:04:09.360
Pray for her because maybe she's not even saved, you know, I don't know.

1931
02:04:09.360 --> 02:04:12.480
So maybe again, maybe there's something, there's a setup here.

1932
02:04:12.480 --> 02:04:14.400
Maybe God's doing something.

1933
02:04:14.400 --> 02:04:16.160
And so I want to encourage you to partner with that.

1934
02:04:16.160 --> 02:04:20.120
I'm going to read something over you all and then I'm going to pray and I'm going to release

1935
02:04:20.120 --> 02:04:21.360
you for the night.

1936
02:04:21.360 --> 02:04:23.840
I'm super excited to speak this over you.

1937
02:04:23.840 --> 02:04:27.120
This is from the heartwork book and it's amazing.

1938
02:04:27.120 --> 02:04:28.120
It's in the last chapter.

1939
02:04:28.120 --> 02:04:31.920
I encourage you all to print this out and put it up where you can see it often and read

1940
02:04:31.920 --> 02:04:33.360
it over yourself.

1941
02:04:33.360 --> 02:04:34.360
Here we go.

1942
02:04:34.360 --> 02:04:39.520
I am a world changer, an atmosphere shifter, a light bearer, a truth teller, and a hope

1943
02:04:39.520 --> 02:04:40.760
dealer.

1944
02:04:40.760 --> 02:04:42.320
My heart is awakening.

1945
02:04:42.320 --> 02:04:44.160
It's my time to be made whole.

1946
02:04:44.160 --> 02:04:46.560
I contain the beauty of all creation.

1947
02:04:46.560 --> 02:04:50.920
The mysteries of the entire universe reside in me.

1948
02:04:50.920 --> 02:04:57.320
I am, I am the image of the almighty God, the offspring of the great I am.

1949
02:04:57.320 --> 02:04:59.360
I am a beloved daughter of God.

1950
02:04:59.360 --> 02:04:59.920
My original.

1951
02:05:00.000 --> 02:05:04.560
is one of love, of joy, peace, hope, and innocence.

1952
02:05:04.560 --> 02:05:06.940
I was created for community.

1953
02:05:06.940 --> 02:05:09.240
I am accepted in the family of God.

1954
02:05:09.240 --> 02:05:11.340
I have been created to prosper.

1955
02:05:11.340 --> 02:05:13.800
I will not be anyone besides who love God

1956
02:05:13.800 --> 02:05:15.740
the Father has made me to be.

1957
02:05:15.740 --> 02:05:17.720
From this moment forward every day,

1958
02:05:17.720 --> 02:05:19.080
when I look in the mirror,

1959
02:05:19.080 --> 02:05:23.280
I'm going to see more and more and more of what God sees.

1960
02:05:23.280 --> 02:05:24.560
Father God, we just thank you

1961
02:05:24.560 --> 02:05:26.720
for everything that you've accomplished tonight.

1962
02:05:26.720 --> 02:05:28.720
We thank you for the invitation to step further

1963
02:05:28.740 --> 02:05:31.780
into the fullness of who you originally created us to be.

1964
02:05:31.780 --> 02:05:33.120
Help us to continue to partner

1965
02:05:33.120 --> 02:05:35.020
with what heaven is saying over us.

1966
02:05:35.020 --> 02:05:37.720
Help the ladies as they do their silhouette activations

1967
02:05:37.720 --> 02:05:41.020
this week to partner with your truth, to lean in.

1968
02:05:41.020 --> 02:05:43.420
God, to hear what your spirit is saying about them

1969
02:05:43.420 --> 02:05:46.100
and what your heart feels towards them.

1970
02:05:46.100 --> 02:05:48.600
We thank you that you would remove any negative thoughts,

1971
02:05:48.600 --> 02:05:52.660
any harmful words that they've heard from the past.

1972
02:05:52.660 --> 02:05:54.700
God, help them to receive an upgrade

1973
02:05:54.700 --> 02:05:57.000
in the revelation of your heart

1974
02:05:57.060 --> 02:05:58.760
and your mind towards them this week.

1975
02:05:58.760 --> 02:06:02.000
Help them to have a fresh revelation also of your love.

1976
02:06:02.000 --> 02:06:04.900
In Jesus name, amen, amen.

1977
02:06:04.900 --> 02:06:07.460
Ladies, have an amazing rest of your night.

1978
02:06:07.460 --> 02:06:08.660
We'll be seeing you in the group.

1979
02:06:08.660 --> 02:06:09.860
Good night, everyone.