WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:05.840 Today, we're going to talk about putting other people's stories first. 2 00:00:05.840 --> 00:00:12.560 Specifically, why when you do that, it's a powerful way to become a next-level leader. 3 00:00:12.560 --> 00:00:15.820 So to do that, I'm going to tell you three stories and then we're going to look a little 4 00:00:15.820 --> 00:00:20.120 bit at the neuroscience as to why this is so powerful. 5 00:00:20.120 --> 00:00:26.080 I was particularly struck by the world-famous restaurant in Seattle, Washington called Canlis 6 00:00:26.560 --> 00:00:31.560 Restaurant, run by two brothers, Mark and Brian Canlis. 7 00:00:31.560 --> 00:00:34.880 Their secret is putting other people's stories first. 8 00:00:34.880 --> 00:00:43.040 These brothers deliver unforgettable customer experience night after night, year after year. 9 00:00:43.040 --> 00:00:50.200 They share exactly how they put their customers first by putting the customer's story first. 10 00:00:50.200 --> 00:00:55.000 It's a radical approach and they focus their whole team, their hiring, everything they 11 00:00:55.000 --> 00:00:58.720 do around that one idea. 12 00:00:58.720 --> 00:01:05.220 So as they put it, they put it this way, your customer is the hero of the story, not you. 13 00:01:05.220 --> 00:01:11.560 In particular, they looked at their customers or their guests as entrusting them with the 14 00:01:11.560 --> 00:01:14.720 treasure that tonight matters. 15 00:01:14.720 --> 00:01:22.560 For some people, it literally was a last meal with a parent or an anniversary or graduation 16 00:01:22.600 --> 00:01:25.840 or a first date or work promotion. 17 00:01:25.840 --> 00:01:30.300 You can see that that matters a great deal to the people involved. 18 00:01:30.300 --> 00:01:35.720 And so they took it that their customers, their guests were entrusting them to make 19 00:01:35.720 --> 00:01:39.680 tonight special, to make it matter. 20 00:01:39.680 --> 00:01:42.080 This made the team very attentive. 21 00:01:42.080 --> 00:01:48.640 For example, the parking attendant had a photographic memory and would remember your car so no ticket 22 00:01:48.640 --> 00:01:49.840 was issued. 23 00:01:49.840 --> 00:01:54.760 And when you got up, they got your car ready without you having a ticket. 24 00:01:54.760 --> 00:02:00.040 Just that sense of belonging, that sense of I belong here. 25 00:02:00.040 --> 00:02:01.840 I love the way they describe it. 26 00:02:01.840 --> 00:02:04.600 They said it's not a transaction of take. 27 00:02:04.600 --> 00:02:07.400 You take our food, we take your money. 28 00:02:07.400 --> 00:02:10.479 You know, they went way beyond that. 29 00:02:10.479 --> 00:02:14.280 So they weren't just looking at the external things for customer service. 30 00:02:14.280 --> 00:02:17.320 They were looking for the internal things. 31 00:02:17.320 --> 00:02:21.180 And this is what the staff really focused on. 32 00:02:21.180 --> 00:02:23.960 They called it keeping the promise. 33 00:02:23.960 --> 00:02:28.040 And the promise is that tonight will matter. 34 00:02:28.040 --> 00:02:31.560 And the staff will say this every night before they start serving. 35 00:02:31.560 --> 00:02:35.540 So before the guests arrive, tonight we're keeping the promise. 36 00:02:35.540 --> 00:02:42.080 So I wonder for your company, what's the promise you need to keep for your customers? 37 00:02:42.080 --> 00:02:45.440 Your customer is entrusting something to you. 38 00:02:45.440 --> 00:02:47.520 This is treasure to them. 39 00:02:47.520 --> 00:02:49.160 They are the hero of the story. 40 00:02:49.160 --> 00:02:52.320 So be trustworthy. 41 00:02:52.320 --> 00:02:56.120 You know, it's not just about meeting or exceeding expectations. 42 00:02:56.120 --> 00:03:01.440 It's that internal thing that matters that we're going to keep our promise of making 43 00:03:01.440 --> 00:03:03.360 tonight count. 44 00:03:03.360 --> 00:03:08.320 So that's a really big deal in a business. 45 00:03:08.320 --> 00:03:14.640 You know, for each of these people who sometimes waited many months to get a reservation at 46 00:03:14.640 --> 00:03:20.680 this restaurant, but they knew that that treasure, that night, would really matter 47 00:03:20.680 --> 00:03:23.480 and it would really count. 48 00:03:23.480 --> 00:03:27.600 You know, at the end of the day, the core values of your company are only values if 49 00:03:27.600 --> 00:03:29.040 they cost you something. 50 00:03:29.040 --> 00:03:32.400 You know, they cause you to make these hard decisions. 51 00:03:32.400 --> 00:03:38.440 But when we make our service so relational, when we're putting ourselves in their shoes, 52 00:03:38.440 --> 00:03:43.320 when we put their story first, it takes our leadership to the next level. 53 00:03:43.320 --> 00:03:48.040 Not just for the main leader, but for everybody in the team. 54 00:03:48.040 --> 00:03:50.880 You know, the staff are on a journey too. 55 00:03:50.880 --> 00:03:53.600 And that's why, you know, we don't use people. 56 00:03:53.600 --> 00:03:54.600 We grow people. 57 00:03:54.600 --> 00:03:57.920 It's why you're going through this program. 58 00:03:57.920 --> 00:04:02.000 So if you use people, they will just use the customers. 59 00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:05.360 But if you grow people, they will grow the customers. 60 00:04:05.360 --> 00:04:06.560 And it's the same thing. 61 00:04:06.560 --> 00:04:10.640 This happens internally and it happens with our customers. 62 00:04:10.640 --> 00:04:12.880 So here's the question. 63 00:04:12.880 --> 00:04:17.440 What promise are you as a team keeping to your customer? 64 00:04:17.440 --> 00:04:24.280 Secondly, in keeping the promise, you yourselves change to make, you know, in their case, make 65 00:04:24.280 --> 00:04:26.040 the night matter. 66 00:04:26.040 --> 00:04:30.080 They tailored themselves around what the client needed. 67 00:04:30.080 --> 00:04:32.480 And every single table was different. 68 00:04:32.480 --> 00:04:37.480 There wasn't just a general standard of, well, here's our standards and meet expectations. 69 00:04:37.920 --> 00:04:42.600 No, this is next level leadership we're talking about, where you're keeping a promise and 70 00:04:42.600 --> 00:04:46.360 the promise for each table would be different. 71 00:04:46.360 --> 00:04:53.880 And so your company's core values cost you something in that they require you to be attentive. 72 00:04:53.880 --> 00:04:57.440 The second story is about a school that we started. 73 00:04:57.440 --> 00:04:59.600 We started a school, a K-8 school. 74 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:02.960 And within the first three years, 75 00:05:02.960 --> 00:05:07.080 we were the top academic school in our state. 76 00:05:07.080 --> 00:05:09.960 And within four years, we're in the top 4% 77 00:05:09.960 --> 00:05:12.400 of all private schools in the United States 78 00:05:12.400 --> 00:05:14.920 on the highest testing standard. 79 00:05:14.920 --> 00:05:19.920 And what we really focused was creating articulate leaders 80 00:05:20.600 --> 00:05:23.720 who could effectively inspire others 81 00:05:23.720 --> 00:05:25.880 to serve their generation. 82 00:05:25.880 --> 00:05:28.080 And how we got there was to think 83 00:05:28.080 --> 00:05:30.200 about other people's story first. 84 00:05:30.200 --> 00:05:34.160 And the way we did it for the school is we asked ourselves, 85 00:05:34.160 --> 00:05:38.680 what will it take to produce the next Thomas Jefferson 86 00:05:38.680 --> 00:05:42.760 or Elizabeth Elliot or C.S. Lewis? 87 00:05:42.760 --> 00:05:45.560 You see, we reduced that story down, 88 00:05:45.560 --> 00:05:48.880 which the parents loved, and we brought it down to, 89 00:05:48.880 --> 00:05:50.840 what does the school do? 90 00:05:50.840 --> 00:05:55.360 Cultivating purposeful, intelligent young leaders. 91 00:05:55.400 --> 00:05:58.200 And to do that, we focused on character 92 00:05:58.200 --> 00:06:01.080 as a key aspect of education. 93 00:06:01.080 --> 00:06:03.800 Or in Latin, esse quam videri, 94 00:06:03.800 --> 00:06:06.880 to be rather than to seem. 95 00:06:06.880 --> 00:06:08.400 A lot of people seem. 96 00:06:08.400 --> 00:06:10.080 So we wanted the kind of leaders 97 00:06:10.080 --> 00:06:11.720 that were the genuine article. 98 00:06:11.720 --> 00:06:16.160 And we made this about each child's leadership story, 99 00:06:16.160 --> 00:06:20.040 about help cultivating them to be exactly that, 100 00:06:20.040 --> 00:06:23.960 purposeful, intelligent young leaders. 101 00:06:23.960 --> 00:06:27.560 And the third story is about a managed fund 102 00:06:27.560 --> 00:06:29.320 that I was working with. 103 00:06:29.320 --> 00:06:32.760 Now, we could have pushed and set the target 104 00:06:32.760 --> 00:06:37.680 as our expectations is to have a return of 10% a year 105 00:06:37.680 --> 00:06:40.920 or whatever the fund was offering. 106 00:06:40.920 --> 00:06:42.600 But then we discovered this idea 107 00:06:42.600 --> 00:06:44.440 of putting the customer's story first. 108 00:06:44.440 --> 00:06:47.920 So we got on the phone and we started to call our customers. 109 00:06:47.920 --> 00:06:51.880 And we asked them, this investment matters to you. 110 00:06:51.880 --> 00:06:53.880 Could you tell us the story? 111 00:06:53.880 --> 00:06:55.640 We were amazed. 112 00:06:55.640 --> 00:06:59.400 Oh, I wanna be able to send my child to college. 113 00:06:59.400 --> 00:07:02.600 My granddaughter to college, she'll be the first one. 114 00:07:02.600 --> 00:07:06.040 Or they went through all these stories. 115 00:07:06.040 --> 00:07:09.120 I wanna enrich my retirement because we're a bit short. 116 00:07:09.120 --> 00:07:11.360 Or whatever it was, we wanna travel. 117 00:07:11.360 --> 00:07:14.880 Or we wanna give ourselves to this nonprofit organization. 118 00:07:14.880 --> 00:07:16.400 We wanna be able to have enough funds 119 00:07:16.400 --> 00:07:19.280 so we can do that free of charge in our community. 120 00:07:19.280 --> 00:07:21.440 Well, the story started to roll in 121 00:07:21.960 --> 00:07:23.560 and we were blown away. 122 00:07:23.560 --> 00:07:26.080 When we put other people's story first, 123 00:07:26.080 --> 00:07:28.480 what we did became more meaningful. 124 00:07:28.480 --> 00:07:30.760 By the way, we changed 125 00:07:30.760 --> 00:07:34.200 because not only did our leadership go to the next level, 126 00:07:34.200 --> 00:07:37.920 but we ourselves became very attentive to our customers. 127 00:07:37.920 --> 00:07:41.600 It's a beautiful idea, putting other people's stories first. 128 00:07:41.600 --> 00:07:44.600 Now, why do stories work like this? 129 00:07:44.600 --> 00:07:46.960 You know, Paul Zak at Claremont Graduate University 130 00:07:46.960 --> 00:07:50.280 found that good stories cause our brains 131 00:07:50.320 --> 00:07:52.280 to produce oxytocin. 132 00:07:52.280 --> 00:07:56.880 So in other words, we love the way that stories make us feel. 133 00:07:56.880 --> 00:07:59.600 Not what they make us think, the way they make us feel. 134 00:07:59.600 --> 00:08:01.520 You know, people will often not remember, 135 00:08:01.520 --> 00:08:04.920 or your customers will not remember what you said, 136 00:08:04.920 --> 00:08:08.880 but they will remember how you made them feel. 137 00:08:08.880 --> 00:08:11.640 So why are stories so powerful then? 138 00:08:11.640 --> 00:08:14.040 Well, they are relational. 139 00:08:14.040 --> 00:08:16.000 I love the story we've talked before 140 00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:19.280 about the elephant, the rider, and the pathway. 141 00:08:19.280 --> 00:08:20.640 If we're trying to move a customer, 142 00:08:20.640 --> 00:08:22.280 we're trying to move somebody down the road, 143 00:08:22.280 --> 00:08:24.520 the elephant is like the emotions. 144 00:08:24.520 --> 00:08:27.000 The rider is like the intellect. 145 00:08:27.000 --> 00:08:28.040 And a lot of times, 146 00:08:28.040 --> 00:08:29.960 we spend all our time talking to the rider. 147 00:08:29.960 --> 00:08:30.800 But guess what? 148 00:08:30.800 --> 00:08:32.320 If the elephant doesn't wanna move, 149 00:08:32.320 --> 00:08:34.600 it doesn't matter what the rider does. 150 00:08:34.600 --> 00:08:38.840 Explaining the rational thing to the rider is not enough. 151 00:08:38.840 --> 00:08:41.600 But stories move the elephant. 152 00:08:41.600 --> 00:08:42.720 I love that. 153 00:08:43.840 --> 00:08:46.320 Stories really connect us to each other 154 00:08:46.360 --> 00:08:49.600 because they connect us to our humanity. 155 00:08:49.600 --> 00:08:52.280 You know, in literature, we have great stories 156 00:08:52.280 --> 00:08:54.840 that have genuinely stood the test of time. 157 00:08:54.840 --> 00:08:56.800 We call them the classics. 158 00:08:56.800 --> 00:08:57.800 Why? 159 00:08:57.800 --> 00:09:00.160 Because they're stories that teach us 160 00:09:00.160 --> 00:09:02.720 how the human heart works. 161 00:09:02.720 --> 00:09:06.360 And that's why we read old books to young people. 162 00:09:07.240 --> 00:09:11.760 You know, we wanna teach them how the world really works. 163 00:09:12.720 --> 00:09:16.920 So if you wanna become that next level leader, 164 00:09:16.920 --> 00:09:20.280 the big question you can ask yourself is, 165 00:09:20.280 --> 00:09:23.880 what promise are we keeping to our customers? 166 00:09:23.880 --> 00:09:25.880 What are they entrusting to us? 167 00:09:25.880 --> 00:09:28.800 And how can we put those stories first 168 00:09:28.800 --> 00:09:30.840 and become next level leaders? 169 00:09:30.840 --> 00:09:32.040 I hope you enjoyed that.